Charles Dickens
The Life and Adventures of Nicholas Nickleby
Preface
This story was begun within a few months after the publication of the completed
»Pickwick Papers« There were then a good many cheap Yorkshire schools in
existence There are very few now
Of the monstrous neglect of education in England and the disregard of it by
the State as a means of forming good or bad citizens and miserable or happy
men private schools long afforded a notable example Although any man who had
proved his unfitness for any other occupation in life was free without
examination or qualification to open a school anywhere although preparation
for the functions he undertook was required in the surgeon who assisted to
bring a boy into the world or might one day assist perhaps to send him out of
it in the chemist the attorney the butcher the baker the candlestick maker
the whole round of crafts and trades the schoolmasters excepted and although
schoolmasters as a race were the blockheads and impostors who might naturally
be expected to spring from such a state of things and to flourish in it these
Yorkshire schoolmasters were the lowest and most rotten round in the whole
ladder Traders in the avarice indifference or imbecility of parents and the
helplessness of children ignorant sordid brutal men to whom few considerate
persons would have entrusted the board and lodging of a horse or a dog they
formed the worthy corner stone of a structure which for absurdity and a
magnificent highminded laissezaller neglect has rarely been exceeded in the
world
We hear sometimes of an action for damages against the unqualified medical
practitioner who has deformed a broken limb in pretending to heal it But what
of the hundreds of thousands of minds that have been deformed for ever by the
incapable pettifoggers who have pretended to form them
I make mention of the race as of the Yorkshire schoolmasters in the past
tense Though it has not yet finally disappeared it is dwindling daily A long
days work remains to be done about us in the way of education Heaven knows
but great improvements and facilities towards the attainment of a good one have
been furnished of late years
I cannot call to mind now how I came to hear about Yorkshire schools when
I was a not very robust child sitting in byeplaces near Rochester Castle with
a head full of PARTRIDGE STRAP TOM PIPES and SANCHO PANZA but I know that my
first impressions of them were picked up at that time and that they were
somehow or other connected with a suppurated abscess that some boy had come home
with in consequence of his Yorkshire guide philosopher and friend having
ripped it open with an inky penknife The impression made upon me however
made never left me I was always curious about Yorkshire schools fell long
afterwards and at sundry times into the way of hearing more about them at
last having an audience resolved to write about them
With that intent I went down into Yorkshire before I began this book in
very severe winter time which is pretty faithfully described herein As I wanted
to see a schoolmaster or two and was forewarned that those gentlemen might in
their modesty be shy of receiving a visit from the author of the »Pickwick
Papers« I consulted with a professional friend who had a Yorkshire connection
and with whom I concerted a pious fraud He gave me some letters of
introduction in the name I think of my travelling companion they bore
reference to a supposititious little boy who had been left with a widowed mother
who didnt know what to do with him the poor lady had thought as a means of
thawing the tardy compassion of her relations in his behalf of sending him to a
Yorkshire school I was the poor ladys friend travelling that way and if the
recipient of the letter could inform me of a school in his neighbourhood the
writer would be very much obliged
I went to several places in that part of the country where I understood the
schools to be most plentifully sprinkled and had no occasion to deliver a
letter until I came to a certain town which shall be nameless The person to
whom it was addressed was not at home but he came down at night through the
snow to the inn where I was staying It was after dinner and he needed little
persuasion to sit down by the fire in a warm corner and take his share of the
wine that was on the table
I am afraid he is dead now I recollect he was a jovial ruddy broadfaced
man that we got acquainted directly and that we talked on all kinds of
subjects except the school which he showed a great anxiety to avoid Was there
any large school near I asked him in reference to the letter »Oh yes« he
said »there was a party big un« »Was it a good one« I asked »Ey« he said
»it was as good as anoother that was a a matther of opinion« and fell to
looking at the fire staring round the room and whistling a little On my
reverting to some other topic that we had been discussing he recovered
immediately but though I tried him again and again I never approached the
question of the school even if he were in the middle of a laugh without
observing that his countenance fell and that he became uncomfortable At last
when we had passed a couple of hours or so very agreeably he suddenly took up
his hat and leaning over the table and looking me full in the face said in a
low voice »Weel Misther weve been vara pleasant toogather and arll spak my
moind tivee Dinnot let the weedur send her lattle boy to yan o our
schoolmeasthers while theres a harse to hoold in a Lunnun or a gootther to
lie asleep in Ar wouldnt mak ill words amang my neeburs and ar speak tivee
quiet loike But Im domd if ar can gang to bed and not tellee for weedurs
sak to keep the lattle boy from a sike scoondrels while theres a harse to
hoold in a Lunnun or a gootther to lie asleep in« Repeating these words with
great heartiness and with a solemnity on his jolly face that made it look twice
as large as before he shook hands and went away I never saw him afterwards
but I sometimes imagine that I descry a faint reflection of him in John Browdie
In reference to these gentry I may here quote a few words from the original
preface to this book
»It has afforded the Author great amusement and satisfaction during the
progress of this work to learn from country friends and from a variety of
ludicrous statements concerning himself in provincial newspapers that more than
one Yorkshire schoolmaster lays claim to being the original of Mr Squeers One
worthy he has reason to believe has actually consulted authorities learned in
the law as to his having good grounds on which to rest an action for libel
another has meditated a journey to London for the express purpose of
committing an assault and battery on his traducer a third perfectly remembers
being waited on last January twelve month by two gentlemen one of whom held
him in conversation while the other took his likeness and although Mr Squeers
has but one eye and he has two and the published sketch does not resemble him
whoever he may be in any other respect still he and all his friends and
neighbours know at once for whom it is meant because the character is so like
him
While the Author cannot but feel the full force of the compliment thus
conveyed to him he ventures to suggest that these contentions may arise from
the fact that Mr Squeers is the representative of a class and not of an
individual Where imposture ignorance and brutal cupidity are the stock in
trade of a small body of men and one is described by these characteristics all
his fellows will recognise something belonging to themselves and each will have
a misgiving that the portrait is his own
The Authors object in calling public attention to the system would be very
imperfectly fulfilled if he did not state now in his own person emphatically
and earnestly that Mr Squeers and his school are faint and feeble pictures of
an existing reality purposely subdued and kept down lest they should be deemed
impossible That there are upon record trials at law in which damages have
been sought as a poor recompense for lasting agonies and disfigurements
inflicted upon children by the treatment of the master in these places
involving such offensive and foul details of neglect cruelty and disease as
no writer of fiction would have the boldness to imagine And that since he has
been engaged upon these Adventures he has received from private quarters far
beyond the reach of suspicion or distrust accounts of atrocities in the
perpetration of which upon neglected or repudiated children these schools have
been the main instruments very far exceeding any that appear in these pages«
This comprises all I need say on the subject except that if I had seen
occasion I had resolved to reprint a few of these details of legal proceedings
from certain old newspapers
One other quotation from the same Preface may serve to introduce a fact
that my readers may think curious
»To turn to a more pleasant subject it may be right to say that there are
two characters in this book which are drawn from life It is remarkable that
what we call the world which is so very credulous in what professes to be true
is most incredulous in what professes to be imaginary and that while every
day in real life it will allow in one man no blemishes and in another no
virtues it will seldom admit a very stronglymarked character either good or
bad in a fictitious narrative to be within the limits of probability But
those who take an interest in this tale will be glad to learn that the BROTHERS
CHEERYBLE live that their liberal charity their singleness of heart their
noble nature and their unbounded benevolence are no creations of the Authors
brain but are prompting every day and oftenest by stealth some munificent and
generous deed in that town of which they are the pride and honour«
If I were to attempt to sum up the thousands of letters from all sorts of
people in all sorts of latitudes and climates which this unlucky paragraph
brought down upon me I should get into an arithmetical difficulty from which I
could not easily extricate myself Suffice it to say that I believe the
applications for loans gifts and offices of profit that I have been requested
to forward to the originals of the BROTHERS CHEERYBLE with whom I never
interchanged any communication in my life would have exhausted the combined
patronage of all the Lord Chancellors since the accession of the House of
Brunswick and would have broken the Rest of the Bank of England
The Brothers are now dead
There is only one other point on which I would desire to offer a remark If
Nicholas be not always found to be blameless or agreeable he is not always
intended to appear so He is a young man of an impetuous temper and of little or
no experience; and I saw no reason why such a hero should be lifted out of
nature.
Chapter I
Introduces All the Rest
There once lived in a sequestered part of the county of Devonshire one Mr
Godfrey Nickleby a worthy gentleman who taking it into his head rather late
in life that he must get married and not being young enough or rich enough to
aspire to the hand of a lady of fortune had wedded an old flame out of mere
attachment who in her turn had taken him for the same reason Thus two people
who cannot afford to play cards for money sometimes sit down to a quiet game
for love
Some illconditioned persons who sneer at the lifematrimonial may perhaps
suggest in this place that the good couple would be better likened to two
principals in a sparring match who when fortune is low and backers scarce
will chivalrously set to for the mere pleasure of the buffeting and in one
respect indeed this comparison would hold good for as the adventurous pair of
the Fives Court will afterwards send round a hat and trust to the bounty of
the lookerson for the means of regaling themselves so Mr Godfrey Nickleby and
his partner the honeymoon being over looked wistfully out into the world
relying in no inconsiderable degree upon chance for the improvement of their
means Mr Nicklebys income at the period of his marriage fluctuated between
sixty and eighty pounds per annum
There are people enough in the world Heaven knows and even in London
where Mr Nickleby dwelt in those days but few complaints prevail of the
population being scanty It is extraordinary how long a man may look among the
crowd without discovering the face of a friend but it is no less true Mr
Nickleby looked and looked till his eyes became sore as his heart but no
friend appeared and when growing tired of the search he turned his eyes
homeward he saw very little there to relieve his weary vision A painter who
has gazed too long upon some glaring colour refreshes his dazzled sight by
looking upon a darker and more sombre tint but everything that met Mr
Nicklebys gaze wore so black and gloomy a hue that he would have been beyond
description refreshed by the very reverse of the contrast
At length after five years when Mrs Nickleby had presented her husband
with a couple of sons and that embarrassed gentleman impressed with the
necessity of making some provision for his family was seriously revolving in
his mind a little commercial speculation of insuring his life next quarterday
and then falling from the top of the Monument by accident there came one
morning by the general post a blackbordered letter to inform him how his
uncle Mr Ralph Nickleby was dead and had left him the bulk of his little
property amounting in all to five thousand pounds sterling
As the deceased had taken no further notice of his nephew in his lifetime
than sending to his eldest boy who had been christened after him on desperate
speculation a silver spoon in a morocco case which as he had not too much to
eat with it seemed a kind of satire upon his having been born without that
useful article of plate in his mouth Mr Godfrey Nickleby could at first
scarcely believe the tidings thus conveyed to him On examination however they
turned out to be strictly correct The amiable old gentleman it seemed had
intended to leave the whole to the Royal Humane Society and had indeed executed
a will to that effect but the Institution having been unfortunate enough a
few months before to save the life of a poor relation to whom he paid a weekly
allowance of three shillings and sixpence he had in a fit of very natural
exasperation revoked the bequest in a codicil and left it all to Mr Godfrey
Nickleby with a special mention of his indignation not only against the
society for saving the poor relations life but against the poor relation also
for allowing himself to be saved
With a portion of this property Mr Godfrey Nickleby purchased a small farm
near Dawlish in Devonshire whither he retired with his wife and two children
to live upon the best interest he could get for the rest of his money and the
little produce he could raise from his land The two prospered so well together
that when he died some fifteen years after this period and some five after
his wife he was enabled to leave to his eldest son Ralph three thousand
pounds in cash and to his youngest son Nicholas one thousand and the farm
which was as small a landed estate as one would desire to see
These two brothers had been brought up together in a school at Exeter and
being accustomed to go home once a week had often heard from their mothers
lips long accounts of their fathers sufferings in his days of poverty and of
their deceased uncles importance in his days of affluence which recitals
produced a very different impression on the two for while the younger who was
of a timid and retiring disposition gleaned from thence nothing but
forewarnings to shun the great world and attach himself to the quiet routine of
a country life Ralph the elder deduced from the oftenrepeated tale the two
great morals that riches are the only true source of happiness and power and
that it is lawful and just to compass their acquisition by all means short of
felony »And« reasoned Ralph with himself »if no good came of my uncles money
when he was alive a great deal of good came of it after he was dead inasmuch
as my father has got it now and is saving it up for me which is a highly
virtuous purpose and going back to the old gentleman good did come of it to
him too for he had the pleasure of thinking of it all his life long and of
being envied and courted by all his family besides« And Ralph always wound up
these mental soliloquies by arriving at the conclusion that there was nothing
like money
Not confining himself to theory or permitting his faculties to rust even
at that early age in mere abstract speculations this promising lad commenced
usurer on a limited scale at school putting out at good interest a small
capital of slatepencil and marbles and gradually extending his operations
until they aspired to the copper coinage of this realm in which he speculated
to considerable advantage Nor did he trouble his borrowers with abstract
calculations of figures or references to readyreckoners his simple rule of
interest being all comprised in the one golden sentence twopence for every
halfpenny which greatly simplified the accounts and which as a familiar
precept more easily acquired and retained in the memory than any known rule of
arithmetic cannot be too strongly recommended to the notice of capitalists
both large and small and more especially of moneybrokers and billdiscounters
Indeed to do these gentlemen justice many of them are to this day in the
frequent habit of adopting it with eminent success
In like manner did young Ralph Nickleby avoid all those minute and intricate
calculations of odd days which nobody who has worked sums in simpleinterest
can fail to have found most embarrassing by establishing the one general rule
that all sums of principal and interest should be paid on pocketmoney day that
is to say on Saturday and that whether a loan were contracted on the Monday
or on the Friday the amount of interest should be in both cases the same
Indeed he argued and with great show of reason, that it ought to be rather more
for one day than for five inasmuch as the borrower might in the former case be
very fairly presumed to be in great extremity otherwise he would not borrow at
all with such odds against him This fact is interesting as illustrating the
secret connection and sympathy which always exists between great minds Though
master Ralph Nickleby was not at that time aware of it the class of gentlemen
before alluded to proceed on just the same principle in all their transactions
From what we have said of this young gentleman and the natural admiration
the reader will immediately conceive of his character it may perhaps be
inferred that he is to be the hero of the work which we shall presently begin
To set this point at rest for once and for ever we hasten to undeceive them
and stride to its commencement
On the death of his father Ralph Nickleby who had been some time before
placed in a mercantile house in London applied himself passionately to his old
pursuit of moneygetting in which he speedily became so buried and absorbed
that he quite forgot his brother for many years and if at times a
recollection of his old playfellow broke upon him through the haze in which he
lived for gold conjures up a mist about a man more destructive of all his old
senses and lulling to his feelings than the fumes of charcoal it brought along
with it a companion thought that if they were intimate he would want to borrow
money of him So Mr Ralph Nickleby shrugged his shoulders and said things
were better as they were
As for Nicholas he lived a single man on the patrimonial estate until he
grew tired of living alone and then he took to wife the daughter of a
neighbouring gentleman with a dower of one thousand pounds This good lady bore
him two children a son and a daughter and when the son was about nineteen and
the daughter fourteen as near as we can guess impartial records of young
ladies ages being before the passing of the new act nowhere preserved in the
registries of this country Mr Nickleby looked about him for the means of
repairing his capital now sadly reduced by this increase in his family and the
expenses of their education
»Speculate with it« said Mrs Nickleby
»Speculate my dear« said Mr Nickleby as though in doubt
»Why not« asked Mrs Nickleby
»Because my dear if we should lose it« rejoined Mr Nickleby who was a
slow and timetaking speaker »if we should lose it we shall no longer be able
to live my dear«
»Fiddle« said Mrs Nickleby
»I am not altogether sure of that my dear« said Mr Nickleby
»Theres Nicholas« pursued the lady »quite a young man its time he was
in the way of doing something for himself and Kate too poor girl without a
penny in the world Think of your brother Would he be what he is if he hadnt
speculated«
»Thats true« replied Mr Nickleby »Very good my dear Yes I will
speculate my dear«
Speculation is a round game the players see little or nothing of their
cards at first starting gains may be great and so may losses The run of luck
went against Mr Nickleby A mania prevailed a bubble burst four stockbrokers
took villa residences at Florence four hundred nobodies were ruined and among
them Mr Nickleby
»The very house I live in« sighed the poor gentleman »may be taken from me
tomorrow Not an article of my old furniture but will be sold to strangers«
The last reflection hurt him so much that he took at once to his bed
apparently resolved to keep that at all events
»Cheer up sir« said the apothecary
»You mustnt let yourself be cast down sir« said the nurse
»Such things happen every day« remarked the lawyer
»And it is very sinful to rebel against them« whispered the clergyman
»And what no man with a family ought to do« added the neighbours
Mr Nickleby shook his head and motioning them all out of the room
embraced his wife and children and having pressed them by turns to his
languidly beating heart sunk exhausted on his pillow They were concerned to
find that his reason went astray after this for he babbled for a long time
about the generosity and goodness of his brother and the merry old times when
they were at school together This fit of wandering past he solemnly commended
them to One who never deserted the widow or her fatherless children and
smiling gently on them turned upon his face and observed that he thought he
could fall asleep
Chapter II
Of Mr Ralph Nickleby and His Establishment and His Undertakings And of a
Great Joint Stock Company of Vast National Importance
Mr Ralph Nickleby was not strictly speaking what you would call a merchant
neither was he a banker nor an attorney nor a special pleader nor a notary
He was certainly not a tradesman and still less could he lay any claim to the
title of a professional gentleman for it would have been impossible to mention
any recognised profession to which he belonged Nevertheless as he lived in a
spacious house in Golden Square which in addition to a brass plate upon the
streetdoor had another brass plate two sizes and a half smaller upon the left
hand doorpost surmounting a brass model of an infants fist grasping a
fragment of a skewer and displaying the word Office it was clear that Mr
Ralph Nickleby did or pretended to do business of some kind and the fact if
it required any further circumstantial evidence was abundantly demonstrated by
the diurnal attendance between the hours of halfpast nine and five of a
sallowfaced man in rusty brown who sat upon an uncommonly hard stool in a
species of butlers pantry at the end of the passage and always had a pen
behind his ear when he answered the bell
Although a few members of the graver professions live about Golden Square
it is not exactly in anybodys way to or from anywhere It is one of the squares
that have been a quarter of the town that has gone down in the world and taken
to letting lodgings Many of its first and second floors are let furnished to
single gentlemen and it takes boarders besides It is a great resort of
foreigners The darkcomplexioned men who wear large rings and heavy
watchguards and bushy whiskers and who congregate under the Opera Colonnade
and about the boxoffice in the season between four and five in the afternoon
when they give away the orders all live in Golden Square or within a street
of it Two or three violins and a wind instrument from the Opera band reside
within its precincts Its boardinghouses are musical and the notes of pianos
and harps float in the evening time round the head of the mournful statue the
guardian genius of a little wilderness of shrubs in the centre of the square
On a summers night windows are thrown open and groups of swarthy mustachioed
men are seen by the passerby lounging at the casements and smoking fearfully
Sounds of gruff voices practising vocal music invade the evenings silence and
the fumes of choice tobacco scent the air There snuff and cigars and German
pipes and flutes and violins and violoncellos divide the supremacy between
them It is the region of song and smoke Street bands are on their mettle in
Golden Square and itinerant gleesingers quaver involuntarily as they raise
their voices within its boundaries
This would not seem a spot very well adapted to the transaction of business
but Mr Ralph Nickleby had lived there notwithstanding for many years and
uttered no complaint on that score He knew nobody round about and nobody knew
him although he enjoyed the reputation of being immensely rich The tradesmen
held that he was a sort of lawyer and the other neighbours opined that he was a
kind of general agent both of which guesses were as correct and definite as
guesses about other peoples affairs usually are or need to be
Mr Ralph Nickleby sat in his private office one morning ready dressed to
walk abroad He wore a bottlegreen spencer over a blue coat a white waistcoat
grey mixture pantaloons and Wellington boots drawn over them The corner of a
smallplaited shirtfrill struggled out as if insisting to show itself from
between his chin and the top button of his spencer and the latter garment was
not made low enough to conceal a long gold watchchain composed of a series of
plain rings which had its beginning at the handle of a gold repeater in Mr
Nicklebys pocket and its termination in two little keys one belonging to the
watch itself, and the other to some patent padlock He wore a sprinkling of
powder upon his head as if to make himself look benevolent but if that were
his purpose he would perhaps have done better to powder his countenance also
for there was something in its very wrinkles and in his cold restless eye
which seemed to tell of cunning that would announce itself in spite of him
However this might be there he was and as he was all alone neither the
powder nor the wrinkles nor the eyes had the smallest effect good or bad
upon anybody just then and are consequently no business of ours just now
Mr Nickleby closed an accountbook which lay on his desk and throwing
himself back in his chair gazed with an air of abstraction through the dirty
window Some London houses have a melancholy little plot of ground behind them
usually fenced in by four high whitewashed walls and frowned upon by stacks of
chimneys in which there withers on from year to year a crippled tree that
makes a show of putting forth a few leaves late in autumn when other trees shed
theirs and drooping in the effort lingers on all crackled and smokedried
till the following season when it repeats the same process and perhaps if the
weather be particularly genial even tempts some rheumatic sparrow to chirrup in
its branches People sometimes call these dark yards gardens it is not supposed
that they were ever planted but rather that they are pieces of unreclaimed
land with the withered vegetation of the original brickfield No man thinks of
walking in this desolate place or of turning it to any account A few hampers
halfadozen broken bottles and suchlike rubbish may be thrown there when
the tenant first moves in but nothing more and there they remain until he goes
away again the damp straw taking just as long to moulder as it thinks proper
and mingling with the scanty box and stunted everbrowns and broken
flowerpots that are scattered mournfully about a prey to blacks and dirt
It was into a place of this kind that Mr Ralph Nickleby gazed as he sat
with his hands in his pockets looking out of window He had fixed his eyes upon
a distorted firtree planted by some former tenant in a tub that had once been
green and left there years before to rot away piecemeal There was nothing
very inviting in the object, but Mr Nickleby was wrapt in a brown study and
sat contemplating it with far greater attention than in a more conscious mood
he would have deigned to bestow upon the rarest exotic At length his eyes
wandered to a little dirty window on the left through which the face of the
clerk was dimly visible that worthy chancing to look up he beckoned him to
attend
In obedience to this summons the clerk got off the high stool to which he
had communicated a high polish by countless gettings off and on and presented
himself in Mr Nicklebys room He was a tall man of middleage with two goggle
eyes whereof one was a fixture a rubicund nose a cadaverous face and a suit
of clothes if the term be allowable when they suited him not at all much the
worse for wear very much too small and placed upon such a short allowance of
buttons that it was marvellous how he contrived to keep them on
»Was that halfpast twelve Noggs« said Mr Nickleby in a sharp and
grating voice
»Not more than fiveandtwenty minutes by the « Noggs was going to add
publichouse clock but recollecting himself substituted »regular time«
»My watch has stopped« said Mr Nickleby »I dont know from what cause«
»Not wound up« said Noggs
»Yes it is« said Mr Nickleby
»Overwound then« rejoined Noggs
»That cant very well be« observed Mr Nickleby
»Must be« said Noggs
»Well« said Mr Nickleby putting the repeater back in his pocket »perhaps
it is«
Noggs gave a peculiar grunt as was his custom at the end of all disputes
with his master to imply that he Noggs triumphed and as he rarely spoke to
anybody unless somebody spoke to him fell into a grim silence and rubbed his
hands slowly over each other cracking the joints of his fingers and squeezing
them into all possible distortions The incessant performance of this routine on
every occasion and the communication of a fixed and rigid look to his
unaffected eye so as to make it uniform with the other and to render it
impossible for anybody to determine where or at what he was looking were two
among the numerous peculiarities of Mr Noggs which struck an inexperienced
observer at first sight
»I am going to the London Tavern this morning« said Mr Nickleby
»Public meeting« inquired Noggs
Mr Nickleby nodded »I expect a letter from the solicitor respecting that
mortgage of Ruddles If it comes at all it will be here by the two oclock
delivery I shall leave the city about that time and walk to CharingCross on
the lefthand side of the way if there are any letters come and meet me and
bring them with you«
Noggs nodded and as he nodded there came a ring at the office bell The
master looked up from his papers and the clerk calmly remained in a stationary
position
»The bell« said Noggs as though in explanation »At home«
»Yes«
»To anybody«
»Yes«
»To the taxgatherer«
»No Let him call again«
Noggs gave vent to his usual grunt as much as to say »I thought so« and
the ring being repeated went to the door whence he presently returned
ushering in by the name of Mr Bonney a pale gentleman in a violent hurry
who with his hair standing up in great disorder all over his head and a very
narrow white cravat tied loosely round his throat looked as if he had been
knocked up in the night and had not dressed himself since
»My dear Nickleby« said the gentleman taking off a white hat which was so
full of papers that it would scarcely stick upon his head »theres not a moment
to lose I have a cab at the door Sir Matthew Pupker takes the chair and three
members of Parliament are positively coming I have seen two of them safely out
of bed The third who was at Crockfords all night has just gone home to put a
clean shirt on and take a bottle or two of soda water and will certainly be
with us in time to address the meeting He is a little excited by last night
but never mind that he always speaks the stronger for it«
»It seems to promise pretty well« said Mr Ralph Nickleby whose deliberate
manner was strongly opposed to the vivacity of the other man of business
»Pretty well« echoed Mr Bonney »Its the finest idea that was ever
started United Metropolitan Improved Hot Muffin and Crumpet Baking and Punctual
Delivery Company Capital five millions in five hundred thousand shares of ten
pounds each Why the very name will get the shares up to a premium in ten days«
»And when they are at a premium« said Mr Ralph Nickleby smiling
»When they are you know what to do with them as well as any man alive and
how to back quietly out at the right time« said Mr Bonney slapping the
capitalist familiarly on the shoulder »By the bye what a very remarkable man
that clerk of yours is«
»Yes poor devil« replied Ralph drawing on his gloves »Though Newman
Noggs kept his horses and hounds once«
»Aye aye« said the other carelessly
»Yes« continued Ralph »and not many years ago either but he squandered
his money invested it anyhow borrowed at interest and in short made first a
thorough fool of himself and then a beggar He took to drinking and had a touch
of paralysis and then came here to borrow a pound as in his better days I had
«
»Done business with him« said Mr Bonney with a meaning look
»Just so« replied Ralph »I couldnt lend it you know«
»Oh of course not«
»But as I wanted a clerk just then to open the door and so forth I took
him out of charity and he has remained with me ever since He is a little mad
I think« said Mr Nickleby calling up a charitable look »but he is useful
enough poor creature useful enough«
The kindhearted gentleman omitted to add that Newman Noggs being utterly
destitute served him for rather less than the usual wages of a boy of thirteen
and likewise failed to mention in his hasty chronicle that his eccentric
taciturnity rendered him an especially valuable person in a place where much
business was done of which it was desirable no mention should be made out of
doors The other gentleman was plainly impatient to be gone however and as
they hurried into the hackney cabriolet immediately afterwards perhaps Mr
Nickleby forgot to mention circumstances so unimportant
There was a great bustle in Bishopsgate Street Within as they drew up and
it being a windy day half a dozen men were tacking across the road under a
press of paper bearing gigantic announcements that a Public Meeting would be
holden at one oclock precisely to take into consideration the propriety of
petitioning Parliament in favour of the United Metropolitan Improved Hot Muffin
and Crumpet Baking and Punctual Delivery Company capital five millions in five
hundred thousand shares of ten pounds each which sums were duly set forth in
fat black figures of considerable size Mr Bonney elbowed his way briskly up
stairs receiving in his progress many low bows from the waiters who stood on
the landings to show the way and followed by Mr Nickleby dived into a suite
of apartments behind the great publicroom in the second of which was a
businesslooking table and several businesslooking people
»Hear« cried a gentleman with a double chin as Mr Bonney presented
himself »Chair gentlemen chair«
The new comers were received with universal approbation and Mr Bonney
bustled up to the top of the table took off his hat ran his fingers through
his hair and knocked a hackneycoachmans knock on the table with a little
hammer whereat several gentlemen cried »Hear« and nodded slightly to each
other as much as to say what spirited conduct that was Just at this moment a
waiter feverish with agitation tore into the room and throwing the door open
with a crash shouted »Sir Matthew Pupker«
The committee stood up and clapped their hands for joy and while they were
clapping them in came Sir Matthew Pupker attended by two live members of
Parliament one Irish and one Scotch all smiling and bowing and looking so
pleasant that it seemed a perfect marvel how any man could have the heart to
vote against them Sir Matthew Pupker especially who had a little round head
with a flaxen wig on the top of it fell into such a paroxysm of bows that the
wig threatened to be jerked off every instant When these symptoms had in some
degree subsided the gentlemen who were on speaking terms with Sir Matthew
Pupker or the two other members crowded round them in three little groups
near one or other of which the gentlemen who were not on speaking terms with Sir
Matthew Pupker or the two other members stood lingering and smiling and
rubbing their hands in the desperate hope of something turning up which might
bring them into notice All this time Sir Matthew Pupker and the two other
members were relating to their separate circles what the intentions of
government were about taking up the bill with a full account of what the
government had said in a whisper the last time they dined with it and how the
government had been observed to wink when it said so from which premises they
were at no loss to draw the conclusion that if the government had one object
more at heart than another that one object was the welfare and advantage of the
United Metropolitan Improved Hot Muffin and Crumpet Baking and Punctual Delivery
Company
Meanwhile and pending the arrangements of the proceedings and a fair
division of the speechifying the public in the large room were eyeing by
turns the empty platform and the ladies in the Music Gallery In these
amusements the greater portion of them had been occupied for a couple of hours
before and as the most agreeable diversions pall upon the taste on a too
protracted enjoyment of them the sterner spirits now began to hammer the floor
with their bootheels and to express their dissatisfaction by various hoots and
cries These vocal exertions emanating from the people who had been there
longest naturally proceeded from those who were nearest to the platform and
furthest from the policemen in attendance who having no great mind to fight
their way through the crowd but entertaining nevertheless a praiseworthy desire
to do something to quell the disturbance immediately began to drag forth by
the coat tails and collars all the quiet people near the door at the same time
dealing out various smart and tingling blows with their truncheons after the
manner of that ingenious actor Mr Punch whose brilliant example both in the
fashion of his weapons and their use this branch of the executive occasionally
follows
Several very exciting skirmishes were in progress when a loud shout
attracted the attention even of the belligerents and then there poured on to
the platform from a door at the side a long line of gentlemen with their hats
off all looking behind them and uttering vociferous cheers the cause whereof
was sufficiently explained when Sir Matthew Pupker and the two other real
members of Parliament came to the front amidst deafening shouts and testified
to each other in dumb motions that they had never seen such a glorious sight as
that in the whole course of their public career
At length and at last the assembly left off shouting but Sir Matthew
Pupker being voted into the chair they underwent a relapse which lasted five
minutes This over Sir Matthew Pupker went on to say what must be his feelings
on that great occasion and what must be that occasion in the eyes of the world
and what must be the intelligence of his fellowcountrymen before him and what
must be the wealth and respectability of his honorable friends behind him and
lastly what must be the importance to the wealth the happiness the comfort
the liberty the very existence of a free and great people of such an
Institution as the United Metropolitan Improved Hot Muffin and Crumpet Baking
and Punctual Delivery Company
Mr Bonney then presented himself to move the first resolution and having
run his right hand through his hair and planted his left in an easy manner in
his ribs he consigned his hat to the care of the gentleman with the double chin
who acted as a species of bottleholder to the orators generally and said he
would read to them the first resolution »That this meeting views with alarm
and apprehension the existing state of the Muffin Trade in this Metropolis and
its neighbourhood that it considers the Muffin Boys as at present constituted
wholly undeserving the confidence of the public and that it deems the whole
Muffin system alike prejudicial to the health and morals of the people and
subversive of the best interests of a great commercial and mercantile
community« The honorable gentleman made a speech which drew tears from the eyes
of the ladies and awakened the liveliest emotions in every individual present
He had visited the houses of the poor in the various districts of London and
had found them destitute of the slightest vestige of a muffin which there
appeared too much reason to believe some of these indigent persons did not taste
from years end to years end He had found that among muffinsellers there
existed drunkenness debauchery and profligacy which he attributed to the
debasing nature of their employment as at present exercised he had found the
same vices among the poorer class of people who ought to be muffin consumers
and this he attributed to the despair engendered by their being placed beyond
the reach of that nutritious article which drove them to seek a false stimulant
in intoxicating liquors He would undertake to prove before a committee of the
House of Commons that there existed a combination to keep up the price of
muffins and to give the bellmen a monopoly he would prove it by bellmen at the
bar of that house and he would also prove that these men corresponded with
each other by secret words and signs as Snooks Walker Ferguson Is Murphy
right and many others It was this melancholy state of things that the Company
proposed to correct firstly by prohibiting under heavy penalties all private
muffin trading of every description secondly by themselves supplying the
public generally and the poor at their own homes with muffins of first quality
at reduced prices It was with this object that a bill had been introduced into
Parliament by their patriotic chairman Sir Matthew Pupker it was this bill that
they had met to support it was the supporters of this bill who would confer
undying brightness and splendour upon England under the name of the United
Metropolitan Improved Hot Muffin and Crumpet Baking and Punctual Delivery
Company he would add with a capital of Five Millions in five hundred thousand
shares of ten pounds each
Mr Ralph Nickleby seconded the resolution and another gentleman having
moved that it be amended by the insertion of the words and crumpet after the
word muffin whenever it occurred it was carried triumphantly Only one man in
the crowd cried »No« and he was promptly taken into custody and straightway
borne off
The second resolution which recognised the expediency of immediately
abolishing »all muffin or crumpet sellers all traders in muffins or
crumpets of whatsoever description whether male or female boys or men
ringing handbells or otherwise« was moved by a grievous gentleman of
semiclerical appearance who went at once into such deep pathetics that he
knocked the first speaker clean out of the course in no time You might have
heard a pin fall a pin a feather as he described the cruelties inflicted on
muffin boys by their masters which he very wisely urged were in themselves a
sufficient reason for the establishment of that inestimable company It seemed
that the unhappy youths were nightly turned out into the wet streets at the most
inclement periods of the year to wander about in darkness and rain or it
might be hail or snow for hours together without shelter food or warmth
and let the public never forget upon the latter point that while the muffins
were provided with warm clothing and blankets the boys were wholly unprovided
for and left to their own miserable resources Shame The honorable gentleman
related one case of a muffin boy who having been exposed to this inhuman and
barbarous system for no less than five years at length fell a victim to a cold
in the head beneath which he gradually sunk until he fell into a perspiration
and recovered this he could vouch for on his own authority but he had heard
and he had no reason to doubt the fact of a still more heartrending and
appalling circumstance He had heard of the case of an orphan muffin boy who
having been run over by a hackney carriage had been removed to the hospital
had undergone the amputation of his leg below the knee and was now actually
pursuing his occupation on crutches Fountain of justice were these things to
last
This was the department of the subject that took the meeting and this was
the style of speaking to enlist their sympathies The men shouted the ladies
wept into their pockethandkerchiefs till they were moist and waved them till
they were dry the excitement was tremendous and Mr Nickleby whispered his
friend that the shares were thenceforth at a premium of fiveandtwenty per
cent
The resolution was of course carried with loud acclamations every man
holding up both hands in favour of it as he would in his enthusiasm have held
up both legs also if he could have conveniently accomplished it This done the
draft of the proposed petition was read at length and the petition said as all
petitions do say that the petitioners were very humble and the petitioned very
honorable and the object very virtuous therefore said the petition the bill
ought to be passed into a law at once to the everlasting honor and glory of
that most honorable and glorious Commons of England in Parliament assembled
Then the gentleman who had been at Crockfords all night and who looked
something the worse about the eyes in consequence came forward to tell his
fellowcountrymen what a speech he meant to make in favour of that petition
whenever it should be presented and how desperately he meant to taunt the
Parliament if they rejected the bill and to inform them also that he regretted
his honorable friends had not inserted a clause rendering the purchase of
muffins and crumpets compulsory upon all classes of the community which he
opposing all half measures and preferring to go the extreme animal pledged
himself to propose and divide upon in committee After announcing this
determination the honorable gentleman grew jocular and as patent boots
lemoncolored kid gloves and a fur coat collar assist jokes materially there
was immense laughter and much cheering and moreover such a brilliant display of
ladies pockethandkerchiefs as threw the grievous gentleman quite into the
shade
And when the petition had been read and was about to be adopted there came
forward the Irish member who was a young gentleman of ardent temperament with
such a speech as only an Irish member can make breathing the true soul and
spirit of poetry and poured forth with such fervour that it made one warm to
look at him in the course whereof he told them how he would demand the
extension of that great boon to his native country how he would claim for her
equal rights in the muffin laws as in all other laws and how he yet hoped to
see the day when crumpets should be toasted in her lowly cabins and muffin
bells should ring in her rich green valleys And after him came the Scotch
member with various pleasant allusions to the probable amount of profits which
increased the good humour that the poetry had awakened and all the speeches put
together did exactly what they were intended to do and established in the
hearers minds that there was no speculation so promising or at the same time
so praiseworthy as the United Metropolitan Improved Hot Muffin and Crumpet
Baking and Punctual Delivery Company
So the petition in favour of the bill was agreed upon and the meeting
adjourned with acclamations and Mr Nickleby and the other directors went to
the office to lunch as they did every day at halfpast one oclock and to
remunerate themselves for which trouble as the company was yet in its infancy
they only charged three guineas each man for every such attendance
Chapter III
Mr Ralph Nickleby Receives Sad Tidings of His Brother but Bears Up Nobly
Against the Intelligence Communicated to Him The Reader Is Informed how He
Liked Nicholas who Is Herein Introduced and how Kindly He Proposed to Make His
Fortune at Once
Having rendered his zealous assistance towards despatching the lunch with all
that promptitude and energy which are among the most important qualities that
men of business can possess Mr Ralph Nickleby took a cordial farewell of his
fellow speculators and bent his steps westward in unwonted good humour As he
passed Saint Pauls he stepped aside into a doorway to set his watch and with
his hand on the key and his eye on the cathedral dial was intent upon so doing
when a man suddenly stopped before him It was Newman Noggs
»Ah Newman« said Mr Nickleby looking up as he pursued his occupation
»The letter about the mortgage has come has it I thought it would«
»Wrong« replied Newman
»What and nobody called respecting it« inquired Mr Nickleby pausing
Noggs shook his head
»What has come then« inquired Mr Nickleby
»I have« said Newman
»What else« demanded the master sternly
»This« said Newman drawing a sealed letter slowly from his pocket
»Postmark Strand black wax black border womans hand C N in the corner«
»Black wax« said Mr Nickleby glancing at the letter »I know something of
that hand too Newman I shouldnt be surprised if my brother were dead«
»I dont think you would« said Newman quietly
»Why not sir« demanded Mr Nickleby
»You never are surprised« replied Newman »thats all«
Mr Nickleby snatched the letter from his assistant and fixing a cold look
upon him opened read it put it in his pocket and having now hit the time to
a second began winding up his watch
»It is as I expected Newman« said Mr Nickleby while he was thus engaged
»He is dead Dear me Well thats a sudden thing I shouldnt have thought it
really« With these touching expressions of sorrow Mr Nickleby replaced his
watch in his fob and fitting on his gloves to a nicety turned upon his way
and walked slowly westward with his hands behind him
»Children alive« inquired Noggs stepping up to him
»Why thats the very thing« replied Mr Nickleby as though his thoughts
were about them at that moment »They are both alive«
»Both« repeated Newman Noggs in a low voice
»And the widow too« added Mr Nickleby »and all three in London confound
them all three here Newman«
Newman fell a little behind his master and his face was curiously twisted
as by a spasm but whether of paralysis or grief or inward laughter nobody
but himself could possibly explain The expression of a mans face is commonly a
help to his thoughts or glossary on his speech but the countenance of Newman
Noggs in his ordinary moods was a problem which no stretch of ingenuity could
solve
»Go home« said Mr Nickleby after they had walked a few paces looking
round at the clerk as if he were his dog The words were scarcely uttered when
Newman darted across the road slunk among the crowd and disappeared in an
instant
»Reasonable certainly« muttered Mr Nickleby to himself as he walked on
»very reasonable My brother never did anything for me and I never expected it
the breath is no sooner out of his body than I am to be looked to as the
support of a great hearty woman and a grown boy and girl What are they to me
I never saw them«
Full of these and many other reflections of a similar kind Mr Nickleby
made the best of his way to the Strand and referring to his letter as if to
ascertain the number of the house he wanted stopped at a private door about
halfway down that crowded thoroughfare
A miniature painter lived there for there was a large gilt frame screwed
upon the streetdoor in which were displayed upon a black velvet ground two
portraits of naval dress coats with faces looking out of them and telescopes
attached one of a young gentleman in a very vermilion uniform flourishing a
sabre and one of a literary character with a high forehead a pen and ink six
books and a curtain There was moreover a touching representation of a young
lady reading a manuscript in an unfathomable forest and a charming whole length
of a largeheaded little boy sitting on a stool with his legs foreshortened to
the size of saltspoons Besides these works of art there were a great many
heads of old ladies and gentlemen smirking at each other out of blue and brown
skies and an elegantlywritten card of terms with an embossed border
Mr Nickleby glanced at these frivolities with great contempt and gave a
double knock which having been thrice repeated was answered by a servant girl
with an uncommonly dirty face
»Is Mrs Nickleby at home girl« demanded Ralph sharply
»Her name aint Nickleby« said the girl »La Creevy you mean«
Mr Nickleby looked very indignant at the handmaid on being thus corrected
and demanded with much asperity what she meant which she was about to state
when a female voice proceeding from a perpendicular staircase at the end of the
passage inquired who was wanted
»Mrs Nickleby« said Ralph
»Its the second floor Hannah« said the same voice »what a stupid thing
you are Is the second floor at home«
»Somebody went out just now but I think it was the attic which had been a
cleaning of himself« replied the girl
»You had better see« said the invisible female »Show the gentleman where
the bell is and tell him he musnt knock double knocks for the second floor I
cant allow a knock except when the bells broke and then it must be two single
ones«
»Here« said Ralph walking in without more parley »I beg your pardon is
that Mrs La whatshername«
»Creevy La Creevy« replied the voice as a yellow headdress bobbed over
the banisters
»Ill speak to you a moment maam with your leave« said Ralph
The voice replied that the gentleman was to walk up but he had walked up
before it spoke and stepping into the first floor was received by the wearer
of the yellow headdress who had a gown to correspond and was of much the same
colour herself Miss La Creevy was a mincing young lady of fifty and Miss La
Creevys apartment was the gilt frame down stairs on a larger scale and
something dirtier
»Hem« said Miss La Creevy coughing delicately behind her black silk
mitten »A miniature I presume A very stronglymarked countenance for the
purpose sir Have you ever sat before«
»You mistake my purpose I see maam« replied Mr Nickleby in his usual
blunt fashion »I have no money to throw away on miniatures maam and nobody
to give one to thank God if I had Seeing you on the stairs I wanted to ask a
question of you about some lodgers here«
Miss La Creevy coughed once more this cough was to conceal her
disappointment and said »Oh indeed«
»I infer from what you said to your servant that the floor above belongs to
you maam« said Mr Nickleby
Yes it did Miss La Creevy replied The upper part of the house belonged to
her and as she had no necessity for the secondfloor rooms just then she was
in the habit of letting them Indeed there was a lady from the country and her
two children in them at that present speaking
»A widow maam« said Ralph
»Yes she is a widow« replied the lady
»A poor widow maam« said Ralph with a powerful emphasis on that little
adjective which conveys so much
»Well I am afraid she is poor« rejoined Miss La Creevy
»I happen to know that she is maam« said Ralph »Now what business has a
poor widow in such a house as this maam«
»Very true« replied Miss La Creevy not at all displeased with this implied
compliment to the apartments »Exceedingly true«
»I know her circumstances intimately maam« said Ralph »in fact I am a
relation of the family and I should recommend you not to keep them here
maam«
»I should hope if there was any incompatibility to meet the pecuniary
obligations« said Miss La Creevy with another cough »that the ladys family
would «
»No they wouldnt maam« interrupted Ralph hastily »Dont think it«
»If I am to understand that« said Miss La Creevy »the case wears a very
different appearance«
»You may understand it then maam« said Ralph »and make your arrangements
accordingly I am the family maam at least I believe I am the only relation
they have and I think it right that you should know I cant support them in
their extravagances How long have they taken these lodgings for«
»Only from week to week« replied Miss La Creevy »Mrs Nickleby paid the
first week in advance«
»Then you had better get them out at the end of it« said Ralph »They cant
do better than go back to the country maam they are in everybodys way here«
»Certainly« said Miss La Creevy rubbing her hands »if Mrs Nickleby took
the apartments without the means of paying for them it was very unbecoming a
lady«
»Of course it was maam« said Ralph
»And naturally« continued Miss La Creevy »I who am at present hem an
unprotected female cannot afford to lose by the apartments«
»Of course you cant maam« replied Ralph
»Though at the same time« added Miss La Creevy who was plainly wavering
between her goodnature and her interest »I have nothing whatever to say
against the lady who is extremely pleasant and affable though poor thing she
seems terribly low in her spirits nor against the young people either for
nicer or betterbehaved young people cannot be«
»Very well maam« said Ralph turning to the door for these encomiums on
poverty irritated him »I have done my duty and perhaps more than I ought of
course nobody will thank me for saying what I have«
»I am sure I am very much obliged to you at least sir« said Miss La Creevy
in a gracious manner »Would you do me the favour to look at a few specimens of
my portrait painting«
»Youre very good maam« said Mr Nickleby making off with great speed
»but as I have a visit to pay up stairs and my time is precious I really
cant«
»At any other time when you are passing I shall be most happy« said Miss
La Creevy »Perhaps you will have the kindness to take a card of terms with you
Thank you good morning«
»Good morning maam« said Ralph shutting the door abruptly after him to
prevent any further conversation »Now for my sisterinlaw Bah«
Climbing up another perpendicular flight composed with great mechanical
ingenuity of nothing but corner stairs Mr Ralph Nickleby stopped to take
breath on the landing when he was overtaken by the handmaid whom the
politeness of Miss La Creevy had despatched to announce him and who had
apparently been making a variety of unsuccessful attempts since their last
interview to wipe her dirty face clean upon an apron much dirtier
»What name« said the girl
»Nickleby« replied Ralph
»Oh Mrs Nickleby« said the girl throwing open the door »heres Mr
Nickleby«
A lady in deep mourning rose as Mr Ralph Nickleby entered but appeared
incapable of advancing to meet him and leant upon the arm of a slight but very
beautiful girl of about seventeen who had been sitting by her A youth who
appeared a year or two older stepped forward and saluted Ralph as his uncle
»Oh« growled Ralph with an illfavoured frown »you are Nicholas I
suppose«
»That is my name sir« replied the youth
»Put my hat down« said Ralph imperiously »Well maam how do you do You
must bear up against sorrow maam I always do«
»Mine was no common loss« said Mrs Nickleby applying her handkerchief to
her eyes
»It was no uncommon loss maam« returned Ralph as he coolly unbuttoned
his spencer »Husbands die every day maam and wives too«
»And brothers also sir« said Nicholas with a glance of indignation
»Yes sir and puppies and pugdogs likewise« replied his uncle taking a
chair »You didnt mention in your letter what my brothers complaint was
maam«
»The doctors could attribute it to no particular disease« said Mrs
Nickleby shedding tears »We have too much reason to fear that he died of a
broken heart«
»Pooh« said Ralph »theres no such thing I can understand a mans dying
of a broken neck or suffering from a broken arm or a broken head or a broken
leg or a broken nose but a broken heart nonsense its the cant of the day
If a man cant pay his debts he dies of a broken heart and his widows a
martyr«
»Some people I believe have no hearts to break« observed Nicholas
quietly
»How old is this boy for Gods sake« inquired Ralph wheeling back his
chair and surveying his nephew from head to foot with intense scorn
»Nicholas is very nearly nineteen« replied the widow
»Nineteen eh« said Ralph »and what do you mean to do for your bread
sir«
»Not to live upon my mother« replied Nicholas his heart swelling as he
spoke
»Youd have little enough to live upon if you did« retorted the uncle
eyeing him contemptuously
»Whatever it be« said Nicholas flushed with anger »I shall not look to
you to make it more«
»Nicholas my dear recollect yourself« remonstrated Mrs Nickleby
»Dear Nicholas pray« urged the young lady
»Hold your tongue sir« said Ralph »Upon my word Fine beginnings Mrs
Nickleby fine beginnings«
Mrs Nickleby made no other reply than entreating Nicholas by a gesture to
keep silent and the uncle and nephew looked at each other for some seconds
without speaking The face of the old man was stern hardfeatured and
forbidding that of the young one open handsome and ingenuous The old mans
eye was keen with the twinklings of avarice and cunning the young mans bright
with the light of intelligence and spirit His figure was somewhat slight but
manly and wellformed and apart from all the grace of youth and comeliness
there was an emanation from the warm young heart in his look and bearing which
kept the old man down
However striking such a contrast as this may be to lookerson none ever
feel it with half the keenness or acuteness of perfection with which it strikes
to the very soul of him whose inferiority it marks It galled Ralph to the
hearts core and he hated Nicholas from that hour
The mutual inspection was at length brought to a close by Ralph withdrawing
his eyes with a great show of disdain and calling Nicholas a boy This word is
much used as a term of reproach by elderly gentlemen towards their juniors
probably with the view of deluding society into the belief that if they could be
young again they wouldnt on any account
»Well maam« said Ralph impatiently »the creditors have administered
you tell me and theres nothing left for you«
»Nothing« replied Mrs Nickleby
»And you spent what little money you had in coming all the way to London to
see what I could do for you« pursued Ralph
»I hoped« faltered Mrs Nickleby »that you might have an opportunity of
doing something for your brothers children It was his dying wish that I should
appeal to you in their behalf«
»I dont know how it is« muttered Ralph walking up and down the room »but
whenever a man dies without any property of his own he always seems to think he
has a right to dispose of other peoples What is your daughter fit for maam«
»Kate has been well educated« sobbed Mrs Nickleby »Tell your uncle my
dear how far you went in French and extras«
The poor girl was about to murmur something when her uncle stopped her
very unceremoniously
»We must try and get you apprenticed at some boardingschool« said Ralph
»You have not been brought up too delicately for that I hope«
»No indeed uncle« replied the weeping girl »I will try to do anything
that will gain me a home and bread«
»Well well« said Ralph a little softened either by his nieces beauty or
her distress stretch a point and say the latter »You must try it and if the
life is too hard perhaps dressmaking or tambourwork will come lighter Have
you ever done anything sir« turning to his nephew
»No« replied Nicholas bluntly
»No I thought not« said Ralph »This is the way my brother brought up his
children maam«
»Nicholas has not long completed such education as his poor father could
give him« rejoined Mrs Nickleby »and he was thinking of «
»Of making something of him some day« said Ralph »The old story always
thinking and never doing If my brother had been a man of activity and
prudence he might have left you a rich woman maam and if he had turned his
son into the world as my father turned me when I wasnt as old as that boy by
a year and a half he would have been in a situation to help you instead of
being a burden upon you and increasing your distress My brother was a
thoughtless inconsiderate man Mrs Nickleby and nobody I am sure can have
better reason to feel that than you«
This appeal set the widow upon thinking that perhaps she might have made a
more successful venture with her one thousand pounds and then she began to
reflect what a comfortable sum it would have been just then which dismal
thoughts made her tears flow faster and in the excess of these griefs she
being a wellmeaning woman enough but weak withal fell first to deploring her
hard fate and then to remarking with many sobs that to be sure she had been a
slave to poor Nicholas and had often told him she might have married better as
indeed she had very often and that she never knew in his lifetime how the
money went but that if he had confided in her they might all have been better
off that day with other bitter recollections common to most married ladies
either during their coverture or afterwards or at both periods Mrs Nickleby
concluded by lamenting that the dear departed had never deigned to profit by her
advice save on one occasion which was a strictly veracious statement inasmuch
as he had only acted upon it once and had ruined himself in consequence
Mr Ralph Nickleby heard all this with half a smile and when the widow had
finished quietly took up the subject where it had been left before the above
outbreak
»Are you willing to work sir« he inquired frowning on his nephew
»Of course I am« replied Nicholas haughtily
»Then see here sir« said his uncle »This caught my eye this morning and
you may thank your stars for it«
With this exordium Mr Ralph Nickleby took a newspaper from his pocket and
after unfolding it and looking for a short time among the advertisements read
as follows
»EDUCATION At Mr Wackford Squeerss Academy Dotheboys Hall at the
delightful village of Dotheboys near Greta Bridge in Yorkshire Youth are
boarded clothed booked furnished with pocketmoney provided with all
necessaries instructed in all languages living and dead mathematics
orthography geometry astronomy trigonometry the use of the globes algebra
single stick if required writing arithmetic fortification and every other
branch of classical literature Terms twenty guineas per annum No extras no
vacations and diet unparalleled Mr Squeers is in town and attends daily
from one till four at the Saracens Head Snow Hill NB An able assistant
wanted Annual salary £5 A Master of Arts would be preferred
There« said Ralph folding the paper again »Let him get that situation
and his fortune is made«
»But he is not a Master of Arts« said Mrs Nickleby
»That« replied Ralph »that I think can be got over«
»But the salary is so small and it is such a long way off uncle« faltered
Kate
»Hush Kate my dear« interposed Mrs Nickleby »your uncle must know best«
»I say« repeated Ralph tartly »let him get that situation and his
fortune is made If he dont like that let him get one for himself Without
friends money recommendation or knowledge of business of any kind let him
find honest employment in London which will keep him in shoe leather and Ill
give him a thousand pounds At least« said Mr Ralph Nickleby checking
himself »I would if I had it«
»Poor fellow« said the young lady »Oh uncle must we be separated so
soon«
»Dont teaze your uncle with questions when he is thinking only for our
good my love« said Mrs Nickleby »Nicholas my dear I wish you would say
something«
»Yes mother yes« said Nicholas who had hitherto remained silent and
absorbed in thought »If I am fortunate enough to be appointed to this post
sir for which I am so imperfectly qualified what will become of those I leave
behind«
»Your mother and sister sir« replied Ralph »will be provided for in that
case not otherwise by me and placed in some sphere of life in which they
will be able to be independent That will be my immediate care they will not
remain as they are one week after your departure I will undertake«
»Then« said Nicholas starting gaily up and wringing his uncles hand »I
am ready to do anything you wish me Let us try our fortune with Mr Squeers at
once he can but refuse«
»He wont do that« said Ralph »He will be glad to have you on my
recommendation Make yourself of use to him and youll rise to be a partner in
the establishment in no time Bless me only think if he were to die why your
fortunes made at once«
»To be sure I see it all« said poor Nicholas delighted with a thousand
visionary ideas, that his good spirits and his inexperience were conjuring up
before him »Or suppose some young nobleman who is being educated at the Hall
were to take a fancy to me and get his father to appoint me his travelling
tutor when he left and when we come back from the continent procured me some
handsome appointment Eh uncle«
»Ah to be sure« sneered Ralph
»And who knows but when he came to see me when I was settled as he would
of course he might fall in love with Kate who would be keeping my house and
and marry her eh uncle Who knows«
»Who indeed« snarled Ralph
»How happy we should be« cried Nicholas with enthusiasm »The pain of
parting is nothing to the joy of meeting again Kate will be a beautiful woman
and I so proud to hear them say so and mother so happy to be with us once
again and all these sad times forgotten and « The picture was too bright a
one to bear and Nicholas fairly overpowered by it smiled faintly and burst
into tears
This simple family born and bred in retirement and wholly unacquainted with
what is called the world a conventional phrase which being interpreted often
signifieth all the rascals in it mingled their tears together at the thought
of their first separation and this first gush of feeling over were proceeding
to dilate with all the buoyancy of untried hope on the bright prospects before
them when Mr Ralph Nickleby suggested that if they lost time some more
fortunate candidate might deprive Nicholas of the steppingstone to fortune
which the advertisement pointed out and so undermine all their airbuilt
castles This timely reminder effectually stopped the conversation Nicholas
having carefully copied the address of Mr Squeers the uncle and nephew issued
forth together in quest of that accomplished gentleman Nicholas firmly
persuading himself that he had done his relative great injustice in disliking
him at first sight and Mrs Nickleby being at some pains to inform her daughter
that she was sure he was a much more kindly disposed person than he seemed
which Miss Nickleby dutifully remarked he might very easily be
To tell the truth the good ladys opinion had been not a little influenced
by her brotherinlaws appeal to her better understanding and his implied
compliment to her high deserts and although she had dearly loved her husband
and still doted on her children he had struck so successfully on one of those
little jarring chords in the human heart Ralph was well acquainted with its
worst weaknesses though he knew nothing of its best that she had already
begun seriously to consider herself the amiable and suffering victim of her late
husbands imprudence
Chapter IV
Nicholas and His Uncle to Secure the Fortune without Loss of Time Wait Upon
Mr Wackford Squeers the Yorkshire Schoolmaster
Snow Hill What kind of place can the quiet townspeople who see the words
emblazoned in all the legibility of gilt letters and dark shading on the
northcountry coaches take Snow Hill to be All people have some undefined and
shadowy notion of a place whose name is frequently before their eyes or often
in their ears What a vast number of random ideas there must be perpetually
floating about regarding this same Snow Hill The name is such a good one Snow
Hill Snow Hill too coupled with a Saracens Head picturing to us by a double
association of ideas something stern and rugged A bleak desolate tract of
country open to piercing blasts and fierce wintry storms a dark cold gloomy
heath lonely by day and scarcely to be thought of by honest folks at night a
place which solitary wayfarers shun and where desperate robbers congregate
this or something like this should be the prevalent notion of Snow Hill in
those remote and rustic parts through which the Saracens Head like some grim
apparition rushes each day and night with mysterious and ghostlike
punctuality holding its swift and headlong course in all weathers and seeming
to bid defiance to the very elements themselves
The reality is rather different but by no means to be despised notwithstanding
There at the very core of London in the heart of its business and animation
in the midst of a whirl of noise and motion stemming as it were the giant
currents of life that flow ceaselessly on from different quarters and meet
beneath its walls stands Newgate and in that crowded street on which it frowns
so darkly within a few feet of the squalid tottering houses upon the very
spot on which the venders of soup and fish and damaged fruit are now plying
their trades scores of human beings amidst a roar of sounds to which even the
tumult of a great city is as nothing four six or eight strong men at a time
have been hurried violently and swiftly from the world when the scene has been
rendered frightful with excess of human life when curious eyes have glared from
casement and housetop and wall and pillar and when in the mass of white and
upturned faces the dying wretch in his allcomprehensive look of agony has
met not one not one that bore the impress of pity or compassion
Near to the jail and by consequence near to Smithfield also and the
Compter and the bustle and noise of the city and just on that particular part
of Snow Hill where omnibus horses going eastward seriously think of falling down
on purpose and where horses in hackney cabriolets going westward not
unfrequently fall by accident is the coachyard of the Saracens Head Inn its
portal guarded by two Saracens heads and shoulders which it was once the pride
and glory of the choice spirits of this metropolis to pull down at night but
which have for some time remained in undisturbed tranquillity possibly because
this species of humour is now confined to Saint Jamess parish where door
knockers are preferred as being more portable and bellwires esteemed as
convenient toothpicks Whether this be the reason or not there they are
frowning upon you from each side of the gateway The inn itself garnished with
another Saracens Head frowns upon you from the top of the yard while from the
door of the hind boot of all the red coaches that are standing therein there
glares a small Saracens Head with a twin expression to the large Saracens
Heads below so that the general appearance of the pile is decidedly of the
Saracenic order
When you walk up this yard you will see the bookingoffice on your left
and the tower of St Sepulchres church darting abruptly up into the sky on
your right and a gallery of bedrooms on both sides Just before you you will
observe a long window with the words coffeeroom legibly painted above it and
looking out of that window you would have seen in addition if you had gone at
the right time Mr Wackford Squeers with his hands in his pockets
Mr Squeerss appearance was not prepossessing He had but one eye and the
popular prejudice runs in favour of two The eye he had was unquestionably
useful but decidedly not ornamental being of a greenish grey and in shape
resembling the fanlight of a street door The blank side of his face was much
wrinkled and puckered up which gave him a very sinister appearance especially
when he smiled at which times his expression bordered closely on the villanous
His hair was very flat and shiny save at the ends where it was brushed stiffly
up from a low protruding forehead which assorted well with his harsh voice and
coarse manner He was about two or three and fifty and a trifle below the
middle size he wore a white neckerchief with long ends and a suit of
scholastic black but his coat sleeves being a great deal too long and his
trousers a great deal too short he appeared ill at ease in his clothes and as
if he were in a perpetual state of astonishment at finding himself so
respectable
Mr Squeers was standing in a box by one of the coffeeroom fireplaces
fitted with one such table as is usually seen in coffeerooms and two of
extraordinary shapes and dimensions made to suit the angles of the partition In
a corner of the seat was a very small deal trunk tied round with a scanty piece
of cord and on the trunk was perched his laceup halfboots and corduroy
trousers dangling in the air a diminutive boy with his shoulders drawn up to
his ears and his hands planted on his knees who glanced timidly at the
schoolmaster from time to time with evident dread and apprehension
»Halfpast three« muttered Mr Squeers turning from the window and
looking sulkily at the coffeeroom clock »There will be nobody here today«
Much vexed by this reflection Mr Squeers looked at the little boy to see
whether he was doing anything he could beat him for As he happened not to be
doing anything at all he merely boxed his ears and told him not to do it
again
»At Midsummer« muttered Mr Squeers resuming his complaint »I took down
ten boys ten twentys is two hundred pound I go back at eight oclock tomorrow
morning and have got only three three oughts is an ought three twos is six
sixty pound Whats come of all the boys whats parents got in their heads
what does it all mean«
Here the little boy on the top of the trunk gave a violent sneeze
»Halloa sir« growled the schoolmaster turning round »Whats that sir«
»Nothing please sir« said the little boy
»Nothing sir« exclaimed Mr Squeers
»Please sir I sneezed« rejoined the boy trembling till the little trunk
shook under him
»Oh sneezed did you« retorted Mr Squeers »Then what did you say nothing
for sir«
In default of a better answer to this question the little boy screwed a
couple of knuckles into each of his eyes and began to cry wherefore Mr Squeers
knocked him off the trunk with a blow on one side of his face and knocked him
on again with a blow on the other
»Wait till I get you down into Yorkshire my young gentleman« said Mr
Squeers »and then Ill give you the rest Will you hold that noise sir«
»Yeyeyes« sobbed the little boy rubbing his face very hard with the
Beggars Petition in printed calico
»Then do so at once sir« said Squeers »Do you hear«
As this admonition was accompanied with a threatening gesture and uttered
with a savage aspect the little boy rubbed his face harder as if to keep the
tears back and beyond alternately sniffing and choking gave no further vent
to his emotions
»Mr Squeers« said the waiter looking in at this juncture »heres a
gentleman asking for you at the bar«
»Show the gentleman in Richard« replied Mr Squeers in a soft voice »Put
your handkerchief in your pocket you little scoundrel or Ill murder you when
the gentleman goes«
The schoolmaster had scarcely uttered these words in a fierce whisper when
the stranger entered Affecting not to see him Mr Squeers feigned to be intent
upon mending a pen and offering benevolent advice to his youthful pupil
»My dear child« said Mr Squeers »all people have their trials This early
trial of yours that is fit to make your little heart burst and your very eyes
come out of your head with crying what is it Nothing less than nothing You
are leaving your friends but you will have a father in me my dear and a
mother in Mrs Squeers At the delightful village of Dotheboys near Greta
Bridge in Yorkshire where youth are boarded clothed booked washed furnished
with pocketmoney provided with all necessaries «
»It is the gentleman« observed the stranger stopping the schoolmaster in
the rehearsal of his advertisement »Mr Squeers I believe sir«
»The same sir« said Mr Squeers with an assumption of extreme surprise
»The gentleman« said the stranger »that advertised in the Times
newspaper«
» Morning Post Chronicle Herald and Advertiser regarding the Academy
called Dotheboys Hall at the delightful village of Dotheboys near Greta Bridge
in Yorkshire« added Mr Squeers »You come on business sir I see by my young
friends How do you do my little gentleman and how do you do sir« With this
salutation Mr Squeers patted the heads of two holloweyed smallboned little
boys whom the applicant had brought with him and waited for further
communications
»I am in the oil and colour way My name is Snawley sir« said the
stranger
Squeers inclined his head as much as to say »And a remarkably pretty name
too«
The stranger continued »I have been thinking Mr Squeers of placing my
two boys at your school«
»It is not for me to say so sir« replied Mr Squeers »but I dont think
you could possibly do a better thing«
»Hem« said the other »Twenty pounds per annewum I believe Mr Squeers«
»Guineas« rejoined the schoolmaster with a persuasive smile
»Pounds for two I think Mr Squeers« said Mr Snawley solemnly
»I dont think it could be done sir« replied Squeers as if he had never
considered the proposition before »Let me see four fives is twenty double
that and deduct the well a pound either way shall not stand betwixt us You
must recommend me to your connection sir and make it up that way«
»They are not great eaters« said Mr Snawley
»Oh that doesnt matter at all« replied Squeers »We dont consider the
boys appetites at our establishment« This was strictly true they did not
»Every wholesome luxury sir that Yorkshire can afford« continued Squeers
»every beautiful moral that Mrs Squeers can instil every in short every
comfort of a home that a boy could wish for will be theirs Mr Snawley«
»I should wish their morals to be particularly attended to« said Mr
Snawley
»I am glad of that sir« replied the schoolmaster drawing himself up
»They have come to the right shop for morals sir«
»You are a moral man yourself« said Mr Snawley
»I rather believe I am sir« replied Squeers
»I have the satisfaction to know you are sir« said Mr Snawley »I asked
one of your references and he said you were pious«
»Well sir I hope I am a little in that line« replied Squeers
»I hope I am also« rejoined the other »Could I say a few words with you in
the next box«
»By all means« rejoined Squeers with a grin »My dears will you speak to
your new playfellow a minute or two That is one of my boys sir Belling his
name is a Taunton boy that sir«
»Is he indeed« rejoined Mr Snawley looking at the poor little urchin as
if he were some extraordinary natural curiosity
»He goes down with me tomorrow sir« said Squeers »Thats his luggage
that he is a sitting upon now Each boy is required to bring sir two suits of
clothes six shirts six pair of stockings two nightcaps two
pockethandkerchiefs two pair of shoes two hats and a razor«
»A razor« exclaimed Mr Snawley as they walked into the next box »What
for«
»To shave with« replied Squeers in a slow and measured tone
There was not much in these three words but there must have been something
in the manner in which they were said to attract attention for the
schoolmaster and his companion looked steadily at each other for a few seconds
and then exchanged a very meaning smile Snawley was a sleek flatnosed man
clad in sombre garments and long black gaiters and bearing in his countenance
an expression of much mortification and sanctity so his smiling without any
obvious reason was the more remarkable
»Up to what age do you keep boys at your school then« he asked at length
»Just as long as their friends make the quarterly payments to my agent in
town or until such time as they run away« replied Squeers »Let us understand
each other I see we may safely do so What are these boys natural children«
»No« rejoined Snawley meeting the gaze of the schoolmasters one eye
»They aint«
»I thought they might be« said Squeers coolly »We have a good many of
them that boys one«
»Him in the next box« said Snawley
Squeers nodded in the affirmative his companion took another peep at the
little boy on the trunk and turning round again looked as if he were quite
disappointed to see him so much like other boys and said he should hardly have
thought it
»He is« cried Squeers »But about these boys of yours you wanted to speak
to me«
»Yes« replied Snawley »The fact is I am not their father Mr Squeers
Im only their stepfather«
»Oh Is that it« said the schoolmaster »That explains it at once I was
wondering what the devil you were going to send them to Yorkshire for Ha ha
Oh I understand now«
»You see I have married the mother« pursued Snawley »its expensive
keeping boys at home and as she has a little money in her own right I am
afraid women are so very foolish Mr Squeers that she might be led to
squander it on them which would be their ruin you know«
»I see« returned Squeers throwing himself back in his chair and waving
his hand
»And this« resumed Snawley »has made me anxious to put them to some school
a good distance off where there are no holidays none of those illjudged
comings home twice a year that unsettle childrens minds so and where they may
rough it a little you comprehend«
»The payments regular and no questions asked« said Squeers nodding his
head
»Thats it exactly« rejoined the other »Morals strictly attended to
though«
»Strictly« said Squeers
»Not too much writing home allowed I suppose« said the stepfather
hesitating
»None except a circular at Christmas to say they never were so happy and
hope they may never be sent for« rejoined Squeers
»Nothing could be better« said the stepfather rubbing his hands
»Then as we understand each other« said Squeers »will you allow me to ask
you whether you consider me a highly virtuous exemplary and wellconducted man
in private life and whether as a person whose business it is to take charge of
youth you place the strongest confidence in my unimpeachable integrity
liberality religious principles and ability«
»Certainly I do« replied the stepfather reciprocating the schoolmasters
grin
»Perhaps you wont object to say that if I make you a reference«
»Not the least in the world«
»Thats your sort« said Squeers taking up a pen »this is doing business
and thats what I like«
Having entered Mr Snawleys address the schoolmaster had next to perform
the still more agreeable office of entering the receipt of the first quarters
payment in advance which he had scarcely completed when another voice was
heard inquiring for Mr Squeers
»Here he is« replied the schoolmaster »what is it«
»Only a matter of business sir« said Ralph Nickleby presenting himself
closely followed by Nicholas »There was an advertisement of yours in the papers
this morning«
»There was sir This way if you please« said Squeers who had by this
time got back to the box by the fireplace »Wont you be seated«
»Why I think I will« replied Ralph suiting the action to the word and
placing his hat on the table before him »This is my nephew sir Mr Nicholas
Nickleby«
»How do you do sir« said Squeers
Nicholas bowed said he was very well and seemed very much astonished at
the outward appearance of the proprietor of Dotheboys Hall as indeed he was
»Perhaps you recollect me« said Ralph looking narrowly at the
schoolmaster
»You paid me a small account at each of my halfyearly visits to town for
some years I think sir« replied Squeers
»I did« rejoined Ralph
»For the parents of a boy named Dorker who unfortunately «
» unfortunately died at Dotheboys Hall« said Ralph finishing the
sentence
»I remember very well sir« rejoined Squeers »Ah Mrs Squeers sir was
as partial to that lad as if he had been her own the attention sir that was
bestowed upon that boy in his illness Dry toast and warm tea offered him every
night and morning when he couldnt swallow anything a candle in his bedroom
on the very night he died the best dictionary sent up for him to lay his head
upon I dont regret it though It is a pleasant thing to reflect that one did
ones duty by him«
Ralph smiled as if he meant anything but smiling and looked round at the
strangers present
»These are only some pupils of mine« said Wackford Squeers pointing to the
little boy on the trunk and the two little boys on the floor who had been
staring at each other without uttering a word and writhing their bodies into
most remarkable contortions according to the custom of little boys when they
first become acquainted »This gentleman sir is a parent who is kind enough to
compliment me upon the course of education adopted at Dotheboys Hall which is
situated sir at the delightful village of Dotheboys near Greta Bridge in
Yorkshire where youth are boarded clothed booked washed furnished with
pocketmoney «
»Yes we know all about that sir« interrupted Ralph testily »Its in the
advertisement«
»You are very right sir it is in the advertisement« replied Squeers
»And in the matter of fact besides« interrupted Mr Snawley »I feel bound
to assure you sir and I am proud to have this opportunity of assuring you
that I consider Mr Squeers a gentleman highly virtuous exemplary
wellconducted and «
»I make no doubt of it sir« interrupted Ralph checking the torrent of
recommendation »no doubt of it at all Suppose we come to business«
»With all my heart sir« rejoined Squeers »Never postpone business is the
very first lesson we instil into our commercial pupils Master Belling my dear
always remember that do you hear«
»Yes sir« repeated Master Belling
»He recollects what it is does he« said Ralph
»Tell the gentleman« said Squeers
»Never« repeated Master Belling
»Very good« said Squeers »go on«
»Never« repeated Master Belling again
»Very good indeed« said Squeers »Yes«
»P« suggested Nicholas goodnaturedly
»Perform business« said Master Belling »Never perform business«
»Very well sir« said Squeers darting a withering look at the culprit
»You and I will perform a little business on our private account by and bye«
»And just now« said Ralph »we had better transact our own perhaps«
»If you please« said Squeers
»Well« resumed Ralph »its brief enough soon broached and I hope easily
concluded You have advertised for an able assistant sir«
»Precisely so« said Squeers
»And you really want one«
»Certainly« answered Squeers
»Here he is« said Ralph »My nephew Nicholas hot from school with
everything he learnt there fermenting in his head and nothing fermenting in his
pocket is just the man you want«
»I am afraid« said Squeers perplexed with such an application from a youth
of Nicholass figure »I am afraid the young man wont suit me«
»Yes he will« said Ralph »I know better Dont be cast down sir you
will be teaching all the young noblemen in Dotheboys Hall in less than a weeks
time unless this gentleman is more obstinate than I take him to be«
»I fear sir« said Nicholas addressing Mr Squeers »that you object to my
youth and to my not being a Master of Arts«
»The absence of a college degree is an objection« replied Squeers looking
as grave as he could and considerably puzzled no less by the contrast between
the simplicity of the nephew and the worldly manner of the uncle than by the
incomprehensible allusion to the young noblemen under his tuition
»Look here sir« said Ralph »Ill put this matter in its true light in two
seconds«
»If youll have the goodness« rejoined Squeers
»This is a boy or a youth or a lad or a young man or a hobbledehoy or
whatever you like to call him of eighteen or nineteen or thereabouts« said
Ralph
»That I see« observed the schoolmaster
»So do I« said Mr Snawley thinking it as well to back his new friend
occasionally
»His father is dead he is wholly ignorant of the world has no resources
whatever and wants something to do« said Ralph »I recommend him to this
splendid establishment of yours as an opening which will lead him to fortune if
he turns it to proper account Do you see that«
»Everybody must see that« replied Squeers half imitating the sneer with
which the old gentleman was regarding his unconscious relative
»I do of course« said Nicholas eagerly
»He does of course you observe« said Ralph in the same dry hard manner
»If any caprice of temper should induce him to cast aside this golden
opportunity before he has brought it to perfection I consider myself absolved
from extending any assistance to his mother and sister Look at him and think
of the use he may be to you in half a dozen ways Now the question is whether
for some time to come at all events he wont serve your purpose better than
twenty of the kind of people you would get under ordinary circumstances Isnt
that a question for consideration«
»Yes it is« said Squeers answering a nod of Ralphs head with a nod of
his own
»Good« rejoined Ralph »Let me have two words with you«
The two words were had apart in a couple of minutes Mr Wackford Squeers
announced that Mr Nicholas Nickleby was from that moment thoroughly nominated
to and installed in the office of first assistant master at Dotheboys Hall
»Your uncles recommendation has done it Mr Nickleby« said Wackford
Squeers
Nicholas overjoyed at his success shook his uncles hand warmly and could
almost have worshipped Squeers upon the spot
»He is an oddlooking man« thought Nicholas »What of that Porson was an
oddlooking man and so was Doctor Johnson all these bookworms are«
»At eight oclock tomorrow morning Mr Nickleby« said Squeers »the coach
starts You must be here at a quarter before as we take these boys with us«
»Certainly sir« said Nicholas
»And your fare down I have paid« growled Ralph »So youll have nothing
to do but keep yourself warm«
Here was another instance of his uncles generosity Nicholas felt his
unexpected kindness so much that he could scarcely find words to thank him
indeed he had not found half enough when they took leave of the schoolmaster
and emerged from the Saracens Head gateway
»I shall be here in the morning to see you fairly off« said Ralph »No
skulking«
»Thank you sir« replied Nicholas »I never shall forget this kindness«
»Take care you dont« replied his uncle »You had better go home now and
pack up what you have got to pack Do you think you could find your way to
Golden Square first«
»Certainly« said Nicholas »I can easily inquire«
»Leave these papers with my clerk then« said Ralph producing a small
parcel »and tell him to wait till I come home«
Nicholas cheerfully undertook the errand and bidding his worthy uncle an
affectionate farewell which that warmhearted old gentleman acknowledged by a
growl hastened away to execute his commission
He found Golden Square in due course Mr Noggs who had stepped out for a
minute or so to the publichouse was opening the door with a latchkey as he
reached the steps
»Whats that« inquired Noggs pointing to the parcel
»Papers from my uncle« replied Nicholas »and youre to have the goodness
to wait till he comes home if you please«
»Uncle« cried Noggs
»Mr Nickleby« said Nicholas in explanation
»Come in« said Newman
Without another word he led Nicholas into the passage and thence into the
official pantry at the end of it where he thrust him into a chair and mounting
upon his high stool sat with his arms hanging straight down by his sides
gazing fixedly upon him as from a tower of observation
»There is no answer« said Nicholas laying the parcel on a table beside
him
Newman said nothing but folding his arms and thrusting his head forward so
as to obtain a nearer view of Nicholass face scanned his features closely
»No answer« said Nicholas speaking very loud under the impression that
Newman Noggs was deaf
Newman placed his hands upon his knees and without uttering a syllable
continued the same close scrutiny of his companions face
This was such a very singular proceeding on the part of an utter stranger
and his appearance was so extremely peculiar that Nicholas who had a
sufficiently keen sense of the ridiculous could not refrain from breaking into
a smile as he inquired whether Mr Noggs had any commands for him
Noggs shook his head and sighed upon which Nicholas rose and remarking
that he required no rest bade him good morning
It was a great exertion for Newman Noggs and nobody knows to this day how
he ever came to make it the other party being wholly unknown to him but he
drew a long breath and actually said out loud without once stopping that if
the young gentleman did not object to tell he should like to know what his
uncle was going to do for him
Nicholas had not the least objection in the world but on the contrary was
rather pleased to have an opportunity of talking on the subject which occupied
his thoughts so he sat down again and his sanguine imagination warming as he
spoke entered into a fervent and glowing description of all the honours and
advantages to be derived from his appointment at that seat of learning
Dotheboys Hall
»But whats the matter are you ill« said Nicholas suddenly breaking
off as his companion after throwing himself into a variety of uncouth
attitudes thrust his hands under the stool and cracked his fingerjoints as if
he were snapping all the bones in his hands
Newman Noggs made no reply but went on shrugging his shoulders and cracking
his fingerjoints smiling horribly all the time and looking steadfastly at
nothing out of the tops of his eyes in a most ghastly manner
At first Nicholas thought the mysterious man was in a fit but on further
consideration decided that he was in liquor under which circumstances he
deemed it prudent to make off at once He looked back when he had got the
streetdoor open Newman Noggs was still indulging in the same extraordinary
gestures and the cracking of his fingers sounded louder than ever
Chapter V
Nicholas Starts for Yorkshire Of His LeaveTaking and His FellowTravellers
and what Befel Them on the Road
If tears dropped into a trunk were charms to preserve its owner from sorrow and
misfortune Nicholas Nickleby would have commenced his expedition under most
happy auspices There was so much to be done and so little time to do it in so
many kind words to be spoken and such bitter pain in the hearts in which they
rose to impede their utterance that the little preparations for his journey
were made mournfully indeed A hundred things which the anxious care of his
mother and sister deemed indispensable for his comfort Nicholas insisted on
leaving behind as they might prove of some after use or might be convertible
into money if occasion required A hundred affectionate contests on such points
as these took place on the sad night which preceded his departure and as the
termination of every angerless dispute brought them nearer and nearer to the
close of their slight preparations Kate grew busier and busier and wept more
silently
The box was packed at last and then there came supper with some little
delicacy provided for the occasion and as a setoff against the expense of
which Kate and her mother had feigned to dine when Nicholas was out The poor
lad nearly choked himself by attempting to partake of it and almost suffocated
himself in affecting a jest or two and forcing a melancholy laugh Thus they
lingered on till the hour of separating for the night was long past and then
they found that they might as well have given vent to their real feelings
before for they could not suppress them do what they would So they let them
have their way and even that was a relief
Nicholas slept well till six next morning dreamed of home or of what was
home once no matter which for things that are changed or gone will come back
as they used to be thank God in sleep and rose quite brisk and gay He wrote
a few lines in pencil to say the good bye which he was afraid to pronounce
himself and laying them with half his scanty stock of money at his sisters
door shouldered his box and crept softly down stairs
»Is that you Hannah« cried a voice from Miss La Creevys sittingroom
whence shone the light of a feeble candle
»It is I Miss La Creevy« said Nicholas putting down the box and looking
in
»Bless us« exclaimed Miss La Creevy starting and putting her hand to her
curlpapers »Youre up very early Mr Nickleby«
»So are you« replied Nicholas
»Its the fine arts that bring me out of bed Mr Nickleby« returned the
lady »Im waiting for the light to carry out an idea«
Miss La Creevy had got up early to put a fancy nose into a miniature of an
ugly little boy destined for his grandmother in the country who was expected
to bequeath him property if he was like the family
»To carry out an idea« repeated Miss La Creevy »and thats the great
convenience of living in a thoroughfare like the Strand When I want a nose or
an eye for any particular sitter I have only to look out of window and wait
till I get one«
»Does it take long to get a nose now« inquired Nicholas smiling
»Why that depends in a great measure on the pattern« replied Miss La
Creevy »Snubs and romans are plentiful enough and there are flats of all sorts
and sizes when theres a meeting at Exeter Hall but perfect aquilines I am
sorry to say are scarce and we generally use them for uniforms or public
characters«
»Indeed« said Nicholas »If I should meet with any in my travels Ill
endeavour to sketch them for you«
»You dont mean to say that you are really going all the way down into
Yorkshire this cold winters weather Mr Nickleby« said Miss La Creevy »I
heard something of it last night«
»I do indeed« replied Nicholas »Needs must you know when somebody
drives Necessity is my driver and that is only another name for the same
gentleman«
»Well I am very sorry for it thats all I can say« said Miss La Creevy
»as much on your mothers and sisters account as on yours Your sister is a
very pretty young lady Mr Nickleby and that is an additional reason why she
should have somebody to protect her I persuaded her to give me a sitting or
two for the streetdoor case Ah shell make a sweet miniature« As Miss La
Creevy spoke she held up an ivory countenance intersected with very perceptible
skyblue veins and regarded it with so much complacency that Nicholas quite
envied her
»If you ever have an opportunity of showing Kate some little kindness« said
Nicholas presenting his hand »I think you will«
»Depend upon that« said the goodnatured miniature painter »and God bless
you Mr Nickleby and I wish you well«
It was very little that Nicholas knew of the world but he guessed enough
about its ways to think that if he gave Miss La Creevy one little kiss perhaps
she might not be the less kindly disposed towards those he was leaving behind
So he gave her three or four with a kind of jocose gallantry and Miss La
Creevy evinced no greater symptoms of displeasure than declaring as she
adjusted her yellow turban that she had never heard of such a thing and
couldnt have believed it possible
Having terminated the unexpected interview in this satisfactory manner
Nicholas hastily withdrew himself from the house By the time he had found a man
to carry his box it was only seven oclock so he walked slowly on a little in
advance of the porter and very probably with not half as light a heart in his
breast as the man had although he had no waistcoat to cover it with and had
evidently from the appearance of his other garments been spending the night in
a stable and taking his breakfast at a pump
Regarding with no small curiosity and interest all the busy preparations
for the coming day which every street and almost every house displayed and
thinking now and then that it seemed rather hard that so many people of all
ranks and stations could earn a livelihood in London and that he should be
compelled to journey so far in search of one Nicholas speedily arrived at the
Saracens Head Snow Hill Having dismissed his attendant and seen the box
safely deposited in the coachoffice he looked into the coffeeroom in search
of Mr Squeers
He found that learned gentleman sitting at breakfast with the three little
boys before noticed and two others who had turned up by some lucky chance since
the interview of the previous day ranged in a row on the opposite seat Mr
Squeers had before him a small measure of coffee a plate of hot toast and a
cold round of beef but he was at that moment intent on preparing breakfast for
the little boys
»This is twopennorth of milk is it waiter« said Mr Squeers looking
down into a large blue mug and slanting it gently so as to get an accurate
view of the quantity of liquid contained in it
»Thats twopennorth sir« replied the waiter
»What a rare article milk is to be sure in London« said Mr Squeers with
a sigh »Just fill that mug up with lukewarm water William will you«
»To the wery top sir« inquired the waiter »Why the milk will be
drownded«
»Never you mind that« replied Mr Squeers »Serve it right for being so
dear You ordered that thick bread and butter for three did you«
»Coming directly sir«
»You neednt hurry yourself« said Squeers »theres plenty of time Conquer
your passions boys and dont be eager after vittles« As he uttered this moral
precept Mr Squeers took a large bite out of the cold beef and recognised
Nicholas
»Sit down Mr Nickleby« said Squeers »Here we are a breakfasting you
see«
Nicholas did not see that anybody was breakfasting except Mr Squeers but
he bowed with all becoming reverence and looked as cheerful as he could
»Oh thats the milk and water is it William« said Squeers »Very good
dont forget the bread and butter presently«
At this fresh mention of the bread and butter the five little boys looked
very eager and followed the waiter out with their eyes meanwhile Mr Squeers
tasted the milk and water
»Ah« said that gentleman smacking his lips »heres richness Think of the
many beggars and orphans in the streets that would be glad of this little boys
A shocking thing hunger is isnt it Mr Nickleby«
»Very shocking sir« said Nicholas
»When I say number one« pursued Mr Squeers putting the mug before the
children »the boy on the left hand nearest the window may take a drink and
when I say number two the boy next him will go in and so till we come to
number five which is the last boy Are you ready«
»Yes sir« cried all the little boys with great eagerness
»Thats right« said Squeers calmly getting on with his breakfast »keep
ready till I tell you to begin Subdue your appetites my dears and youve
conquered human natur This is the way we inculcate strength of mind Mr
Nickleby« said the schoolmaster turning to Nicholas and speaking with his
mouth very full of beef and toast
Nicholas murmured something he knew not what in reply and the little
boys dividing their gaze between the mug the bread and butter which had by
this time arrived and every morsel which Mr Squeers took into his mouth
remained with strained eyes in torments of expectation
»Thank God for a good breakfast« said Squeers when he had finished »Number
one may take a drink«
Number one seized the mug ravenously and had just drunk enough to make him
wish for more when Mr Squeers gave the signal for number two who gave up at
the same interesting moment to number three and the process was repeated until
the milk and water terminated with number five
»And now« said the schoolmaster dividing the bread and butter for three
into as many portions as there were children »you had better look sharp with
your breakfast for the horn will blow in a minute or two and then every boy
leaves off«
Permission being thus given to fall to the boys began to eat voraciously
and in desperate haste while the schoolmaster who was in high good humour
after his meal picked his teeth with a fork and looked smilingly on In a very
short time the horn was heard
»I thought it wouldnt be long« said Squeers jumping up and producing a
little basket from under the seat »put what you havent had time to eat in
here boys Youll want it on the road«
Nicholas was considerably startled by these very economical arrangements
but he had no time to reflect upon them for the little boys had to be got up to
the top of the coach and their boxes had to be brought out and put in and Mr
Squeerss luggage was to be seen carefully deposited in the boot and all these
offices were in his department He was in the full heat and bustle of concluding
these operations when his uncle Mr Ralph Nickleby accosted him
»Oh here you are sir« said Ralph »Here are your mother and sister sir«
»Where« cried Nicholas looking hastily round
»Here« replied his uncle »Having too much money and nothing at all to do
with it they were paying a hackney coach as I came up sir«
»We were afraid of being too late to see him before he went away from us«
said Mrs Nickleby embracing her son heedless of the unconcerned lookerson in
the coachyard
»Very good maam« returned Ralph »youre the best judge of course I
merely said that you were paying a hackney coach I never pay a hackney coach
maam I never hire one I havent been in a hackney coach of my own hiring for
thirty years and I hope I shant be for thirty more if I live as long«
»I should never have forgiven myself if I had not seen him« said Mrs
Nickleby »Poor dear boy going away without his breakfast too because he
feared to distress us«
»Mighty fine certainly« said Ralph with great testiness »When I first
went to business maam I took a penny loaf and a haporth of milk for my
breakfast as I walked to the city every morning what do you say to that maam
Breakfast Bah«
»Now Nickleby« said Squeers coming up at the moment buttoning his
greatcoat »I think youd better get up behind Im afraid of one of them boys
falling off and then theres twenty pound a year gone«
»Dear Nicholas« whispered Kate touching her brothers arm »who is that
vulgar man«
»Eh« growled Ralph whose quick ears had caught the inquiry »Do you wish
to be introduced to Mr Squeers my dear«
»That the schoolmaster No uncle Oh no« replied Kate shrinking back
»Im sure I heard you say as much my dear« retorted Ralph in his cold
sarcastic manner »Mr Squeers heres my niece Nicholass sister«
»Very glad to make your acquaintance miss« said Squeers raising his hat
an inch or two »I wish Mrs Squeers took gals and we had you for a teacher I
dont know though whether she mightnt grow jealous if we had Ha ha ha«
If the proprietor of Dotheboys Hall could have known what was passing in his
assistants breast at that moment he would have discovered with some surprise
that he was as near being soundly pummelled as he had ever been in his life
Kate Nickleby having a quicker perception of her brothers emotions led him
gently aside and thus prevented Mr Squeers from being impressed with the fact
in a peculiarly disagreeable manner
»My dear Nicholas« said the young lady »who is this man What kind of
place can it be that you are going to«
»I hardly know Kate« replied Nicholas pressing his sisters hand »I
suppose the Yorkshire folks are rather rough and uncultivated thats all«
»But this person« urged Kate
»Is my employer or master or whatever the proper name may be« replied
Nicholas quickly »and I was an ass to take his coarseness ill They are looking
this way and it is time I was in my place Bless you love and good bye
Mother look forward to our meeting again some day Uncle farewell Thank you
heartily for all you have done and all you mean to do Quite ready sir«
With these hasty adieux Nicholas mounted nimbly to his seat and waved his
hand as gallantly as if his heart went with it
At this moment when the coachman and guard were comparing notes for the
last time before starting on the subject of the waybill when porters were
screwing out the last reluctant sixpences itinerant newsmen making the last
offer of a morning paper and the horses giving the last impatient rattle to
their harness Nicholas felt somebody pulling softly at his leg He looked down
and there stood Newman Noggs who pushed up into his hand a dirty letter
»Whats this« inquired Nicholas
»Hush« rejoined Noggs pointing to Mr Ralph Nickleby who was saying a few
earnest words to Squeers a short distance off »Take it Read it Nobody knows
Thats all«
»Stop« cried Nicholas
»No« replied Noggs
Nicholas cried stop again but Newman Noggs was gone
A minutes bustle a banging of the coach doors a swaying of the vehicle to
one side as the heavy coachman and still heavier guard climbed into their
seats a cry of all right a few notes from the horn a hasty glance of two
sorrowful faces below and the hard features of Mr Ralph Nickleby and the
coach was gone too and rattling over the stones of Smithfield
The little boys legs being too short to admit of their feet resting upon
anything as they sat and the little boys bodies being consequently in imminent
hazard of being jerked off the coach Nicholas had enough to do over the
stones to hold them on Between the manual exertion and the mental anxiety
attendant upon this task he was not a little relieved when the coach stopped at
the Peacock at Islington He was still more relieved when a heartylooking
gentleman with a very goodhumoured face and a very fresh colour got up
behind and proposed to take the other corner of the seat
»If we put some of these youngsters in the middle« said the new comer
»theyll be safer in case of their going to sleep eh«
»If youll have the goodness sir« replied Squeers »thatll be the very
thing Mr Nickleby take three of them boys between you and the gentleman
Belling and the youngest Snawley can sit between me and the guard Three
children« said Squeers explaining to the stranger »books as two«
»I have not the least objection I am sure« said the freshcoloured
gentleman »I have a brother who wouldnt object to book his six children as two
at any butchers or bakers in the kingdom I dare say Far from it«
»Six children sir« exclaimed Squeers
»Yes and all boys« replied the stranger
»Mr Nickleby« said Squeers in great haste »catch hold of that basket
Let me give you a card sir of an establishment where those six boys can be
brought up in an enlightened liberal and moral manner with no mistake at all
about it for twenty guineas a year each twenty guineas sir or Id take all
the boys together upon a average right through and say a hundred pound a year
for the lot«
»Oh« said the gentleman glancing at the card »you are the Mr Squeers
mentioned here I presume«
»Yes I am sir« replied the worthy pedagogue »Mr Wackford Squeers is my
name and Im very far from being ashamed of it These are some of my boys sir
thats one of my assistants sir Mr Nickleby a gentlemans son and a good
scholar mathematical classical and commercial We dont do things by halves
at our shop All manner of learning my boys take down sir the expense is never
thought of and they get paternal treatment and washing in«
»Upon my word« said the gentleman glancing at Nicholas with a half smile
and a more than half expression of surprise »these are advantages indeed«
»You may say that sir« rejoined Squeers thrusting his hands into his
greatcoat pockets »The most unexceptionable references are given and required
I wouldnt take a reference with any boy that wasnt responsible for the
payment of five pound five a quarter no not if you went down on your knees
and asked me with the tears running down your face to do it«
»Highly considerate« said the passenger
»Its my great aim and end to be considerate sir« rejoined Squeers
»Snawley junior if you dont leave off chattering your teeth and shaking with
the cold Ill warm you with a severe thrashing in about half a minutes time«
»Sit fast here genelmen« said the guard as he clambered up
»All right behind there Dick« cried the coachman
»All right« was the reply »Off she goes« And off she did go if coaches
be feminine amidst a loud flourish from the guards horn and the calm
approval of all the judges of coaches and coachhorses congregated at the
Peacock but more especially of the helpers who stood with the cloths over
their arms watching the coach till it disappeared and then lounged admiringly
stablewards bestowing various gruff encomiums on the beauty of the turnout
When the guard who was a stout old Yorkshireman had blown himself quite
out of breath he put the horn into a little tunnel of a basket fastened to the
coachside for the purpose and giving himself a plentiful shower of blows on
the chest and shoulders observed it was uncommon cold after which he demanded
of every person separately whether he was going right through and if not where
he was going Satisfactory replies being made to these queries he surmised that
the roads were pretty heavy arter that fall last night and took the liberty of
asking whether any of them gentlemen carried a snuffbox It happening that
nobody did he remarked with a mysterious air that he had heard a medical
gentleman as went down to Grantham last week say how that snufftaking was bad
for the eyes but for his part he had never found it so and what he said was
that everybody should speak as they found Nobody attempting to controvert this
position he took a small brownpaper parcel out of his hat and putting on a
pair of horn spectacles the writing being crabbed read the direction
halfadozen times over having done which he consigned the parcel to its old
place put up his spectacles again and stared at everybody in turn After this
he took another blow at the horn by way of refreshment and having now
exhausted his usual topics of conversation folded his arms as well as he could
in so many coats and falling into a solemn silence looked carelessly at the
familiar objects which met his eye on every side as the coach rolled on the
only things he seemed to care for being horses and droves of cattle which he
scrutinised with a critical air as they were passed upon the road
The weather was intensely and bitterly cold a great deal of snow fell from
time to time and the wind was intolerably keen Mr Squeers got down at almost
every stage to stretch his legs as he said and as he always came back from
such excursions with a very red nose and composed himself to sleep directly
there is reason to suppose that he derived great benefit from the process. The
little pupils having been stimulated with the remains of their breakfast and
further invigorated by sundry small cups of a curious cordial carried by Mr
Squeers which tasted very like toastandwater put into a brandy bottle by
mistake went to sleep woke shivered and cried as their feelings prompted
Nicholas and the goodtempered man found so many things to talk about that
between conversing together and cheering up the boys the time passed with them
as rapidly as it could under such adverse circumstances
So the day wore on At Eton Slocomb there was a good coach dinner of which
the box the four front outsides the one inside Nicholas the goodtempered
man and Mr Squeers partook while the five little boys were put to thaw by
the fire and regaled with sandwiches A stage or two further on the lamps were
lighted and a great todo occasioned by the taking up at a roadside inn of a
very fastidious lady with an infinite variety of cloaks and small parcels who
loudly lamented for the behoof of the outsides the nonarrival of her own
carriage which was to have taken her on and made the guard solemnly promise to
stop every green chariot he saw coming which as it was a dark night and he was
sitting with his face the other way that officer undertook with many fervent
asseverations to do Lastly the fastidious lady finding there was a solitary
gentleman inside had a small lamp lighted which she carried in her reticule
and being after much trouble shut in the horses were put into a brisk canter
and the coach was once more in rapid motion
The night and the snow came on together and dismal enough they were There
was no sound to be heard but the howling of the wind for the noise of the
wheels and the tread of the horses feet were rendered inaudible by the thick
coating of snow which covered the ground and was fast increasing every moment
The streets of Stamford were deserted as they passed through the town and its
old churches rose frowning and dark from the whitened ground Twenty miles
further on two of the front outside passengers wisely availing themselves of
their arrival at one of the best inns in England turned in for the night at
the George at Grantham The remainder wrapped themselves more closely in their
coats and cloaks and leaving the light and warmth of the town behind them
pillowed themselves against the luggage and prepared with many halfsuppressed
moans again to encounter the piercing blast which swept across the open
country
They were little more than a stage out of Grantham or about half way
between it and Newark when Nicholas who had been asleep for a short time was
suddenly roused by a violent jerk which nearly threw him from his seat Grasping
the rail he found that the coach had sunk greatly on one side though it was
still dragged forward by the horses and while confused by their plunging and
the loud screams of the lady inside he hesitated for an instant whether to
jump off or not the vehicle turned easily over and relieved him from all
further uncertainty by flinging him into the road
Chapter VI
In Which the Occurrence of the Accident Mentioned in the Last Chapter Affords
an Opportunity to a Couple of Gentlemen to Tell Stories Against Each Other
»Wo ho« cried the guard on his legs in a minute and running to the leaders
heads »Is there ony genelmen there as can len a hond here Keep quiet dang
ye Wo ho«
»Whats the matter« demanded Nicholas looking sleepily up
»Matther mun matther eneaf for one neight« replied the guard »dang the
walleyed bay hes gane mad wi glory I think carse tcoorch is over Here
cant ye len a hond Dom it Id ha dean it if all my boans were brokken«
»Here« cried Nicholas staggering to his feet »Im ready Im only a
little abroad thats all«
»Hoold em toight« cried the guard »while ar coot treaces Hang on tiv em
sumhoo Well deane my lod Thats it Let em goa noo Dang em theyll gang
whoam fast eneaf«
In truth the animals were no sooner released than they trotted back with
much deliberation to the stable they had just left which was distant not a
mile behind
»Can you blo a harn« asked the guard disengaging one of the coachlamps
»I dare say I can« replied Nicholas
»Then just blo away into that un as lies on the grund fit to wakken the
deead willee« said the man »while I stop sum o this here squealing inside
Cumin cumin Deant make that noise wooman«
As the man spoke he proceeded to wrench open the uppermost door of the
coach while Nicholas seizing the horn awoke the echoes far and wide with one
of the most extraordinary performances on that instrument ever heard by mortal
ears It had its effect however not only in rousing such of the passengers as
were recovering from the stunning effects of their fall but in summoning
assistance to their relief for lights gleamed in the distance and people were
already astir
In fact a man on horseback galloped down before the passengers were well
collected together and a careful investigation being instituted it appeared
that the lady inside had broken her lamp and the gentleman his head that the
two front outsides had escaped with black eyes the box with a bloody nose the
coachman with a contusion on the temple Mr Squeers with a portmanteau bruise
on his back and the remaining passengers without any injury at all thanks to
the softness of the snow drift in which they had been overturned These facts
were no sooner thoroughly ascertained than the lady gave several indications of
fainting but being forewarned that if she did she must be carried on some
gentlemans shoulders to the nearest publichouse she prudently thought better
of it and walked back with the rest
They found on reaching it that it was a lonely place with no very great
accommodation in the way of apartments that portion of its resources being all
comprised in one public room with a sanded floor and a chair or two However a
large faggot and a plentiful supply of coals being heaped upon the fire the
appearance of things was not long in mending and by the time they had washed
off all effaceable marks of the late accident the room was warm and light
which was a most agreeable exchange for the cold and darkness out of doors
»Well Mr Nickleby« said Squeers insinuating himself into the warmest
corner »you did very right to catch hold of them horses I should have done it
myself if I had come to in time but I am very glad you did it You did it very
well very well«
»So well« said the merryfaced gentleman who did not seem to approve very
much of the patronising tone adopted by Squeers »that if they had not been
firmly checked when they were you would most probably have had no brains left
to teach with«
This remark called up a discourse relative to the promptitude Nicholas had
displayed and he was overwhelmed with compliments and commendations
»I am very glad to have escaped of course« observed Squeers »every man is
glad when he escapes from danger but if any one of my charges had been hurt
if I had been prevented from restoring any one of these little boys to his
parents whole and sound as I received him what would have been my feelings
Why the wheel atop of my head would have been far preferable to it«
»Are they all brothers sir« inquired the lady who had carried the Davy or
safetylamp
»In one sense they are maam« replied Squeers diving into his greatcoat
pocket for cards »They are all under the same parental and affectionate
treatment Mrs Squeers and myself are a mother and father to every one of em
Mr Nickleby hand the lady them cards and offer these to the gentleman
Perhaps they might know of some parents that would be glad to avail themselves
of the establishment«
Expressing himself to this effect Mr Squeers who lost no opportunity of
advertising gratuitously placed his hands upon his knees and looked at the
pupils with as much benignity as he could possibly affect while Nicholas
blushing with shame handed round the cards as directed
»I hope you suffer no inconvenience from the overturn maam« said the
merryfaced gentleman addressing the fastidious lady as though he were
charitably desirous to change the subject
»No bodily inconvenience« replied the lady
»No mental inconvenience I hope«
»The subject is a very painful one to my feelings sir« replied the lady
with strong emotion »and I beg you as a gentleman not to refer to it«
»Dear me« said the merryfaced gentleman looking merrier still »I merely
intended to inquire «
»I hope no inquiries will be made« said the lady »or I shall be compelled
to throw myself on the protection of the other gentlemen Landlord pray direct
a boy to keep watch outside the door and if a green chariot passes in the
direction of Grantham to stop it instantly«
The people of the house were evidently overcome by this request and when
the lady charged the boy to remember as a means of identifying the expected
green chariot that it would have a coachman with a goldlaced hat on the box
and a footman most probably in silk stockings behind the attentions of the
good woman of the inn were redoubled Even the boxpassenger caught the
infection and growing wonderfully deferential immediately inquired whether
there was not very good society in that neighbourhood to which the lady replied
yes there was in a manner which sufficiently implied that she moved at the
very tiptop and summit of it all
»As the guard has gone on horseback to Grantham to get another coach« said
the goodtempered gentleman when they had been all sitting round the fire for
some time in silence »and as he must be gone a couple of hours at the very
least I propose a bowl of hot punch What say you sir«
This question was addressed to the brokenheaded inside who was a man of
very genteel appearance dressed in mourning He was not past the middle age
but his hair was grey it seemed to have been prematurely turned by care or
sorrow He readily acceded to the proposal and appeared to be prepossessed by
the frank goodnature of the individual from whom it emanated
This latter personage took upon himself the office of tapster when the punch
was ready and after dispensing it all round led the conversation to the
antiquities of York with which both he and the greyhaired gentleman appeared
to be well acquainted When this topic flagged he turned with a smile to the
greyheaded gentleman and asked if he could sing
»I cannot indeed« replied the gentleman smiling in his turn
»Thats a pity« said the owner of the goodhumoured countenance »Is there
nobody here who can sing a song to lighten the time«
The passengers one and all protested that they could not that they wished
they could that they couldnt remember the words of anything without the book
and so forth
»Perhaps the lady would not object« said the president with great respect
and a merry twinkle in his eye »Some little Italian thing out of the last opera
brought out in town would be most acceptable I am sure«
As the lady condescended to make no reply but tossed her head
contemptuously and murmured some further expression of surprise regarding the
absence of the green chariot one or two voices urged upon the president
himself the propriety of making an attempt for the general benefit
»I would if I could« said he of the goodtempered face »for I hold that in
this as in all other cases where people who are strangers to each other are
thrown unexpectedly together they should endeavour to render themselves as
pleasant for the joint sake of the little community as possible«
»I wish the maxim were more generally acted on in all cases,« said the
greyheaded gentleman
»Im glad to hear it« returned the other »Perhaps as you cant sing
youll tell us a story«
»Nay I should ask you«
»After you I will with pleasure«
»Indeed« said the greyhaired gentleman smiling »Well let it be so I
fear the turn of my thoughts is not calculated to lighten the time you must pass
here but you have brought this upon yourselves and shall judge We were
speaking of York Minster just now My story shall have some reference to it Let
us call it«
The Five Sisters of York
After a murmur of approbation from the other passengers during which the
fastidious lady drank a glass of punch unobserved the greyheaded gentleman
thus went on
»A great many years ago for the fifteenth century was scarce two years old
at the time and King Henry the Fourth sat upon the throne of England there
dwelt in the ancient city of York five maiden sisters the subjects of my
tale
These five sisters were all of surpassing beauty The eldest was in her
twentythird year the second a year younger the third a year younger than the
second and the fourth a year younger than the third They were tall stately
figures with dark flashing eyes and hair of jet dignity and grace were in
their every movement and the fame of their great beauty had spread through all
the country round
But if the four elder sisters were lovely how beautiful was the youngest
a fair creature of sixteen The blushing tints in the soft bloom on the fruit
or the delicate painting on the flower are not more exquisite than was the
blending of the rose and lily in her gentle face or the deep blue of her eye
The vine in all its elegant luxuriance is not more graceful than were the
clusters of rich brown hair that sported round her brow
If we all had hearts like those which beat so lightly in the bosoms of the
young and beautiful what a heaven this earth would be If while our bodies
grow old and withered our hearts could but retain their early youth and
freshness of what avail would be our sorrows and sufferings But the faint
image of Eden which is stamped upon them in childhood chafes and rubs in our
rough struggles with the world and soon wears away too often to leave nothing
but a mournful blank remaining
The heart of this fair girl bounded with joy and gladness Devoted
attachment to her sisters and a fervent love of all beautiful things in nature,
were its pure affections Her gleesome voice and merry laugh were the sweetest
music of their home She was its very light and life The brightest flowers in
the garden were reared by her the caged birds sang when they heard her voice
and pined when they missed its sweetness Alice dear Alice what living thing
within the sphere of her gentle witchery could fail to love her
You may seek in vain now for the spot on which these sisters lived for
their very names have passed away and dusty antiquaries tell of them as of a
fable But they dwelt in an old wooden house old even in those days with
overhanging gables and balconies of rudelycarved oak which stood within a
pleasant orchard and was surrounded by a rough stone wall whence a stout
archer might have winged an arrow to Saint Marys abbey The old abbey
flourished then and the five sisters living on its fair domains paid yearly
dues to the black monks of Saint Benedict to which fraternity it belonged
It was a bright and sunny morning in the pleasant time of summer when one
of those black monks emerged from the abbey portal and bent his steps towards
the house of the fair sisters Heaven above was blue and earth beneath was
green the river glistened like a path of diamonds in the sun the birds poured
forth their songs from the shady trees the lark soared high above the waving
corn and the deep buzz of insects filled the air Everything looked gay and
smiling but the holy man walked gloomily on with his eyes bent upon the
ground The beauty of the earth is but a breath and man is but a shadow What
sympathy should a holy preacher have with either
With eyes bent upon the ground then or only raised enough to prevent his
stumbling over such obstacles as lay on his way the religious man moved slowly
forward until he reached a small postern in the wall of the sisters orchard
through which he passed closing it behind him The noise of soft voices in
conversation and of merry laughter fell upon his ears ere he had advanced many
paces and raising his eyes higher than was his humble wont he descried at no
great distance the five sisters seated on the grass with Alice in the centre
all busily plying their customary task of embroidering
Save you fair daughters said the friar and fair in truth they were Even
a monk might have loved them as choice masterpieces of his Makers hand
The sisters saluted the holy man with becoming reverence and the eldest
motioned him to a mossy seat beside them But the good friar shook his head and
bumped himself down on a very hard stone at which no doubt approving angels
were gratified
Ye were merry daughters said the monk
You know how light of heart sweet Alice is replied the eldest sister
passing her fingers through the tresses of the smiling girl
And what joy and cheerfulness it wakes up within us to see all nature
beaming in brightness and sunshine father added Alice blushing beneath the
stern look of the recluse
The monk answered not save by a grave inclination of the head and the
sisters pursued their task in silence
Still wasting the precious hours said the monk at length turning to the
eldest sister as he spoke still wasting the precious hours on this vain
trifling Alas alas that the few bubbles on the surface of eternity all that
Heaven wills we should see of that dark deep stream should be so lightly
scattered
Father urged the maiden pausing as did each of the others in her busy
task we have prayed at matins our daily alms have been distributed at the
gate the sick peasants have been tended all our morning tasks have been
performed I hope our occupation is a blameless one
See here said the friar taking the frame from her hand an intricate
winding of gaudy colours without purpose or object unless it be that one day
it is destined for some vain ornament to minister to the pride of your frail and
giddy sex Day after day has been employed upon this senseless task and yet it
is not half accomplished The shade of each departed day falls upon our graves
and the worm exults as he beholds it to know that we are hastening thither
Daughters is there no better way to pass the fleeting hours
The four elder sisters cast down their eyes as if abashed by the holy mans
reproof but Alice raised hers and bent them mildly on the friar
Our dear mother said the maiden Heaven rest her soul
Amen cried the friar in a deep voice
Our dear mother faltered the fair Alice was living when these long tasks
began and bade us when she should be no more ply them in all discretion and
cheerfulness in our leisure hours she said that if in harmless mirth and
maidenly pursuits we passed those hours together they would prove the happiest
and most peaceful of our lives and that if in later times we went forth into
the world and mingled with its cares and trials if allured by its
temptations and dazzled by its glitter we ever forgot that love and duty which
should bind in holy ties the children of one loved parent a glance at the
old work of our common girlhood would awaken good thoughts of bygone days and
soften our hearts to affection and love
Alice speaks truly father said the elder sister somewhat proudly And so
saying she resumed her work as did the others
It was a kind of sampler of large size that each sister had before her the
device was of a complex and intricate description and the pattern and colours
of all five were the same The sisters bent gracefully over their work the
monk resting his chin upon his hands looked from one to the other in silence
How much better he said at length to shun all such thoughts and chances
and in the peaceful shelter of the church devote your lives to Heaven
Infancy childhood the prime of life and old age wither as rapidly as they
crowd upon each other Think how human dust rolls onward to the tomb and
turning your faces steadily towards that goal avoid the cloud which takes its
rise among the pleasures of the world and cheats the senses of their votaries
The veil daughters the veil
Never sisters cried Alice Barter not the light and air of heaven and the
freshness of earth and all the beautiful things which breathe upon it for the
cold cloister and the cell Natures own blessings are the proper goods of life
and we may share them sinlessly together To die is our heavy portion but oh
let us die with life about us when our cold hearts cease to beat let warm
hearts be beating near let our last look be upon the bounds which God has set
to his own bright skies and not on stone walls and bars of iron Dear sisters
let us live and die if you list in this green gardens compass only shun the
gloom and sadness of a cloister and we shall be happy
The tears fell fast from the maidens eyes as she closed her impassioned
appeal and hid her face in the bosom of her sister
Take comfort Alice said the eldest kissing her fair forehead The veil
shall never cast its shadow on thy young brow How say you sisters For
yourselves you speak and not for Alice or for me
The sisters as with one accord cried that their lot was cast together and
that there were dwellings for peace and virtue beyond the convents walls
Father said the eldest lady rising with dignity you hear our final
resolve The same pious care which enriched the abbey of Saint Mary and left
us orphans to its holy guardianship directed that no constraint should be
imposed upon our inclinations but that we should be free to live according to
our choice Let us hear no more of this we pray you Sisters it is nearly
noon Let us take shelter until evening With a reverence to the friar the lady
rose and walked towards the house hand in hand with Alice the other sisters
followed
The holy man who had often urged the same point before hut had never met
with so direct a repulse walked some little distance behind with his eyes bent
upon the earth and his lips moving as if in prayer As the sisters reached the
porch he quickened his pace and called upon them to stop
Stay said the monk raising his right hand in the air and directing an
angry glance by turns at Alice and the eldest sister Stay and hear from me
what these recollections are which you would cherish above eternity and awaken
if in mercy they slumbered by means of idle toys The memory of earthly
things is charged in after life with bitter disappointment affliction death
with dreary change and wasting sorrow The time will one day come when a glance
at those unmeaning baubles will tear open deep wounds in the hearts of some
among you and strike to your inmost souls When that hour arrives and mark
me come it will turn from the world to which you clung to the refuge which
you spurned Find me the cell which shall be colder than the fire of mortals
grows when dimmed by calamity and trial and there weep for the dreams of youth
These things are Heavens will not mine said the friar subduing his voice as
he looked round upon the shrinking girls The Virgins blessing be upon you
daughters
With these words he disappeared through the postern and the sisters
hastening into the house were seen no more that day
But nature will smile though priests may frown and next day the sun shone
brightly and on the next and the next again And in the mornings glare and
the evenings soft repose the five sisters still walked or worked or beguiled
the time by cheerful conversation in their quiet orchard
Time passed away as a tale that is told faster indeed than many tales that
are told of which number I fear this may be one The house of the five sisters
stood where it did and the same trees cast their pleasant shade upon the
orchard grass The sisters too were there and lovely as at first but a change
had come over their dwelling Sometimes there was the clash of armour and the
gleaming of the moon on caps of steel and at others jaded coursers were
spurred up to the gate and a female form glided hurriedly forth as if eager to
demand tidings of the weary messenger A goodly train of knights and ladies
lodged one night within the abbey walls and next day rode away with two of the
fair sisters among them Then horsemen began to come less frequently and
seemed to bring bad tidings when they did and at length they ceased to come at
all and footsore peasants slunk to the gate after sunset and did their errand
there by stealth Once a vassal was despatched in haste to the abbey at dead
of night and when morning came there were sounds of woe and wailing in the
sisters house and after this a mournful silence fell upon it and knight or
lady horse or armour was seen about it no more
There was a sullen darkness in the sky and the sun had gone angrily down
tinting the dull clouds with the last traces of his wrath when the same black
monk walked slowly on with folded arms within a stonesthrow of the abbey A
blight had fallen on the trees and shrubs and the wind at length beginning to
break the unnatural stillness that had prevailed all day sighed heavily from
time to time as though foretelling in grief the ravages of the coming storm
The bat skimmed in fantastic flights through the heavy air and the ground was
alive with crawling things whose instinct brought them forth to swell and
fatten in the rain
No longer were the friars eyes directed to the earth they were cast
abroad and roamed from point to point as if the gloom and desolation of the
scene found a quick response in his own bosom Again he paused near the sisters
house and again he entered by the postern
But not again did his ear encounter the sound of laughter or his eyes rest
upon the beautiful figures of the five sisters All was silent and deserted The
boughs of the trees were bent and broken and the grass had grown long and rank
No light feet had pressed it for many many a day
With the indifference or abstraction of one well accustomed to the change
the monk glided into the house and entered a low dark room Four sisters sat
there Their black garments made their pale faces whiter still and time and
sorrow had worked deep ravages They were stately yet but the flush and pride
of beauty were gone
And Alice where was she In Heaven
The monk even the monk could bear with some grief here for it was long
since these sisters had met and there were furrows in their blanched faces
which years could never plough He took his seat in silence and motioned them
to continue their speech
They are here sisters said the elder lady in a trembling voice I have
never borne to look upon them since and now I blame myself for my weakness
What is there in her memory that we should dread To call up our old days shall
be a solemn pleasure yet
She glanced at the monk as she spoke and opening a cabinet brought forth
the five frames of work completed long before Her step was firm but her hand
trembled as she produced the last one and when the feelings of the other
sisters gushed forth at sight of it her pentup tears made way and she sobbed
God bless her
The monk rose and advanced towards them It was almost the last thing she
touched in health he said in a low voice
It was cried the elder lady weeping bitterly
The monk turned to the second sister
The gallant youth who looked into thine eyes and hung upon thy very breath
when first he saw thee intent upon this pastime lies buried on a plain whereof
the turf is red with blood Rusty fragments of armour once brightly burnished
lie rotting on the ground and are as little distinguishable for his as are the
bones that crumble in the mould
The lady groaned and wrung her hands
The policy of courts he continued turning to the two other sisters drew
ye from your peaceful home to scenes of revelry and splendour The same policy
and the restless ambition of proud and fiery men have sent ye back widowed
maidens and humbled outcasts Do I speak truly
The sobs of the two sisters were their only reply
There is little need said the monk with a meaning look to fritter away
the time in gewgaws which shall raise up the pale ghosts of hopes of early
years Bury them heap penance and mortification on their heads keep them down
and let the convent be their grave
The sisters asked for three days to deliberate and felt that night as
though the veil were indeed the fitting shroud for their dead joys But morning
came again and though the boughs of the orchard trees drooped and ran wild upon
the ground it was the same orchard still The grass was coarse and high but
there was yet the spot on which they had so often sat together when change and
sorrow were but names There was every walk and nook which Alice had made glad
and in the minster nave was one flat stone beneath which she slept in peace
And could they remembering how her young heart had sickened at the thought
of cloistered walls look upon her grave in garbs which would chill the very
ashes within it Could they bow down in prayer and when all Heaven turned to
hear them bring the dark shade of sadness on one angels face No
They sent abroad to artists of great celebrity in those times and having
obtained the churchs sanction to their work of piety caused to be executed in
five large compartments of richly stained glass a faithful copy of their old
embroidery work These were fitted into a large window until that time bare of
ornament and when the sun shone brightly as she had so well loved to see it
the familiar patterns were reflected in their original colours and throwing a
stream of brilliant light upon the pavement fell warmly on the name of Alice
For many hours in every day the sisters paced slowly up and down the nave
or knelt by the side of the flat broad stone Only three were seen in the
customary place after many years then but two and for a long time
afterwards but one solitary female bent with age At length she came no more
and the stone bore five plain Christian names
That stone has worn away and been replaced by others and many generations
have come and gone since then Time has softened down the colours but the same
stream of light still falls upon the forgotten tomb of which no trace remains
and to this day the stranger is shown in York cathedral an old window called
the Five Sisters«
»Thats a melancholy tale« said the merryfaced gentleman emptying his glass
»It is a tale of life and life is made up of such sorrows« returned the
other courteously but in a grave and sad tone of voice
»There are shades in all good pictures but there are lights too if we
choose to contemplate them« said the gentleman with the merry face »The
youngest sister in your tale was always lighthearted«
»And died early« said the other gently
»She would have died earlier perhaps had she been less happy« said the
first speaker with much feeling »Do you think the sisters who loved her so
well would have grieved the less if her life had been one of gloom and sadness
If anything could soothe the first sharp pain of a heavy loss it would be
with me the reflection that those I mourned by being innocently happy here
and loving all about them had prepared themselves for a purer and happier
world The sun does not shine upon this fair earth to meet frowning eyes depend
upon it«
»I believe you are right« said the gentleman who had told the story
»Believe« retorted the other »can anybody doubt it Take any subject of
sorrowful regret and see with how much pleasure it is associated The
recollection of past pleasure may become pain «
»It does« interposed the other
»Well it does To remember happiness which cannot be restored is pain but
of a softened kind Our recollections are unfortunately mingled with much that
we deplore and with many actions which we bitterly repent still in the most
chequered life I firmly think there are so many little rays of sunshine to look
back upon that I do not believe any mortal unless he had put himself without
the pale of hope would deliberately drain a goblet of the waters of Lethe if
he had it in his power«
»Possibly you are correct in that belief« said the greyhaired gentleman
after a short reflection »I am inclined to think you are «
»Why then« replied the other »the good in this state of existence
preponderates over the bad let miscalled philosophers tell us what they will
If our affections be tried our affections are our consolation and comfort and
memory however sad is the best and purest link between this world and a
better But come Ill tell you a story of another kind«
After a very brief silence the merryfaced gentleman sent round the punch
and glancing slily at the fastidious lady who seemed desperately apprehensive
that he was going to relate something improper began
The Baron of Grogzwig
»The Baron Von Koëldwethout of Grogzwig in Germany was as likely a young baron
as you would wish to see I neednt say that he lived in a castle because
thats of course neither need I say that he lived in an old castle for what
German baron ever lived in a new one There were many strange circumstances
connected with this venerable building among which not the least startling and
mysterious were that when the wind blew it rumbled in the chimneys or even
howled among the trees in the neighbouring forest and that when the moon shone
she found her way through certain small loopholes in the wall and actually made
some parts of the wide halls and galleries quite light while she left others in
gloomy shadow I believe that one of the barons ancestors being short of
money had inserted a dagger in a gentleman who called one night to ask his way
and it was supposed that these miraculous occurrences took place in consequence
And yet I hardly know how that could have been either because the barons
ancestor who was an amiable man felt very sorry afterwards for having been so
rash and laying violent hands upon a quantity of stone and timber which
belonged to a weaker baron built a chapel as an apology and so took a receipt
from Heaven in full of all demands
Talking of the barons ancestor puts me in mind of the barons great claims
to respect on the score of his pedigree I am afraid to say I am sure how many
ancestors the baron had but I know that he had a great many more than any other
man of his time and I only wish that he had lived in these latter days that he
might have had more It is a very hard thing upon the great men of past
centuries that they should have come into the world so soon because a man who
was born three or four hundred years ago cannot reasonably be expected to have
had as many relations before him as a man who is born now The last man whoever
he is and he may be a cobbler or some low vulgar dog for aught we know will
have a longer pedigree than the greatest nobleman now alive and I contend that
this is not fair
Well but the Baron Von Koëldwethout of Grogzwig He was a fine swarthy
fellow with dark hair and large moustachios who rode a hunting in clothes of
Lincoln green with russet boots on his feet and a bugle slung over his
shoulder like the guard of a long stage When he blew this bugle
fourandtwenty other gentlemen of inferior rank in Lincoln green a little
coarser and russet boots with a little thicker soles turned out directly and
away galloped the whole train with spears in their hands like lackered area
railings to hunt down the boars or perhaps encounter a bear in which latter
case the baron killed him first and greased his whiskers with him afterwards
This was a merry life for the Baron of Grogzwig and a merrier still for the
barons retainers who drank Rhine wine every night till they fell under the
table and then had the bottles on the floor and called for pipes Never were
such jolly roystering rollicking merrymaking blades as the jovial crew of
Grogzwig
But the pleasures of the table or the pleasures of under the table require
a little variety especially when the same fiveandtwenty people sit daily down
to the same board to discuss the same subjects and tell the same stories The
baron grew weary and wanted excitement He took to quarrelling with his
gentlemen and tried kicking two or three of them every day after dinner This
was a pleasant change at first but it became monotonous after a week or so and
the baron felt quite out of sorts and cast about in despair for some new
amusement
One night after a days sport in which he had outdone Nimrod or
Gillingwater and slaughtered another fine bear and brought him home in
triumph the Baron Von Koëldwethout sat moodily at the head of his table eyeing
the smoky roof of the hall with a discontented aspect He swallowed huge bumpers
of wine but the more he swallowed the more he frowned The gentlemen who had
been honoured with the dangerous distinction of sitting on his right and left
imitated him to a miracle in the drinking and frowned at each other
I will cried the baron suddenly smiting the table with his right hand and
twirling his moustache with his left Fill to the Lady of Grogzwig
The fourandtwenty Lincoln greens turned pale with the exception of their
fourandtwenty noses which were unchangeable
I said to the Lady of Grogzwig repeated the baron looking round the board
To the Lady of Grogzwig shouted the Lincoln greens and down their
fourandtwenty throats went fourandtwenty imperial pints of such rare old
hock that they smacked their eightandforty lips and winked again
The fair daughter of the Baron Von Swillenhausen said Koëldwethout
condescending to explain We will demand her in marriage of her father ere the
sun goes down tomorrow If he refuse our suit we will cut off his nose
A hoarse murmur arose from the company every man touched first the hilt of
his sword and then the tip of his nose with appalling significance
What a pleasant thing filial piety is to contemplate If the daughter of the
Baron Von Swillenhausen had pleaded a preoccupied heart or fallen at her
fathers feet and corned them in salt tears or only fainted away and
complimented the old gentleman in frantic ejaculations the odds are a hundred
to one but Swillenhausen castle would have been turned out of window or rather
the baron turned out of window and the castle demolished The damsel held her
peace however when an early messenger bore the request of Von Koëldwethout
next morning and modestly retired to her chamber from the casement of which
she watched the coming of the suitor and his retinue She was no sooner assured
that the horseman with the large moustachios was her proffered husband than she
hastened to her fathers presence and expressed her readiness to sacrifice
herself to secure his peace The venerable baron caught his child to his arms
and shed a wink of joy
There was great feasting at the castle that day The fourandtwenty
Lincoln greens of Von Koëldwethout exchanged vows of eternal friendship with
twelve Lincoln greens of Von Swillenhausen and promised the old baron that they
would drink his wine Till all was blue meaning probably until their whole
countenances had acquired the same tint as their noses Everybody slapped
everybody elses back when the time for parting came and the Baron Von
Koëldwethout and his followers rode gaily home
For six mortal weeks the bears and boars had a holiday The houses of
Koëldwethout and Swillenhausen were united the spears rusted and the barons
bugle grew hoarse for lack of blowing
Those were great times for the fourandtwenty but alas their high and
palmy days had taken boots to themselves and were already walking off
My dear said the baroness
My love said the baron
Those coarse noisy men
Which maam said the baron starting
The baroness pointed from the window at which they stood to the courtyard
beneath where the unconscious Lincoln greens were taking a copious stirrupcup
preparatory to issuing forth after a boar or two
My hunting train maam said the baron
Disband them love murmured the baroness
Disband them cried the baron in amazement
To please me love replied the baroness
To please the devil maam answered the baron
Whereupon the baroness uttered a great cry and swooned away at the barons
feet
What could the baron do He called for the ladys maid and roared for the
doctor and then rushing into the yard kicked the two Lincoln greens who were
the most used to it and cursing the others all round bade them go but never
mind where I dont know the German for it or I would put it delicately that
way
It is not for me to say by what means or by what degrees some wives manage
to keep down some husbands as they do although I may have my private opinion on
the subject and may think that no Member of Parliament ought to be married
inasmuch as three married members out of every four must vote according to their
wives consciences if there be such things and not according to their own
All I need say just now is that the Baroness Von Koëldwethout somehow or
other acquired great control over the Baron Von Koëldwethout and that little
by little and bit by bit and day by day and year by year the baron got the
worst of some disputed question or was slily unhorsed from some old hobby and
that by the time he was a fat hearty fellow of fortyeight or thereabouts he
had no feasting no revelry no hunting train and no hunting nothing in short
that he liked or used to have and that although he was as fierce as a lion
and as bold as brass he was decidedly snubbed and put down by his own lady in
his own castle of Grogzwig
Nor was this the whole extent of the barons misfortunes About a year after
his nuptials there came into the world a lusty young baron in whose honour a
great many fireworks were let off and a great many dozens of wine drunk but
next year there came a young baroness and next year another young baron and so
on every year either a baron or baroness and one year both together until
the baron found himself the father of a small family of twelve Upon every one
of these anniversaries the venerable Baroness Von Swillenhausen was nervously
sensitive for the wellbeing of her child the Baroness Von Koëldwethout and
although it was not found that the good lady ever did anything material towards
contributing to her childs recovery still she made it a point of duty to be as
nervous as possible at the castle at Grogzwig and to divide her time between
moral observations on the barons housekeeping and bewailing the hard lot of
her unhappy daughter And if the Baron of Grogzwig a little hurt and irritated
at this took heart and ventured to suggest that his wife was at least no worse
off than the wives of other barons the Baroness Von Swillenhausen begged all
persons to take notice that nobody but she sympathised with her dear daughters
sufferings upon which her relations and friends remarked that to be sure she
did cry a great deal more than her soninlaw and that if there were a
hardhearted brute alive it was that Baron of Grogzwig
The poor baron bore it all as long as he could and when he could bear it
no longer lost his appetite and his spirits and sat himself gloomily and
dejectedly down But there were worse troubles yet in store for him and as they
came on his melancholy and sadness increased Times changed He got into debt
The Grogzwig coffers ran low though the Swillenhausen family had looked upon
them as inexhaustible and just when the baroness was on the point of making a
thirteenth addition to the family pedigree Von Koëldwethout discovered that he
had no means of replenishing them
I dont see what is to be done said the baron I think Ill kill myself
This was a bright idea The baron took an old huntingknife from a cupboard
hard by and having sharpened it on his boot made what boys call an offer at
his throat
Hem said the baron stopping short Perhaps its not sharp enough
The baron sharpened it again and made another offer when his hand was
arrested by a loud screaming among the young barons and baronesses who had a
nursery in an upstairs tower with iron bars outside the window to prevent their
tumbling out into the moat
If I had been a bachelor said the baron sighing I might have done it fifty
times over without being interrupted Hallo Put a flask of wine and the
largest pipe in the little vaulted room behind the hall
One of the domestics in a very kind manner executed the barons order in
the course of half an hour or so and Von Koëldwethout being apprised thereof
strode to the vaulted room the walls of which being of dark shining wood
gleamed in the light of the blazing logs which were piled upon the hearth The
bottle and pipe were ready and upon the whole the place looked very
comfortable
Leave the lamp said the baron
Anything else my lord inquired the domestic
The room replied the baron The domestic obeyed and the baron locked the
door
Ill smoke a last pipe said the baron and then Ill be off So putting
the knife upon the table till he wanted it and tossing off a goodly measure of
wine the Lord of Grogzwig threw himself back in his chair stretched his legs
out before the fire and puffed away
He thought about a great many things about his present troubles and past
days of bachelorship and about the Lincoln greens long since dispersed up and
down the country no one knew whither with the exception of two who had been
unfortunately beheaded and four who had killed themselves with drinking His
mind was running upon bears and boars when in the process of draining his
glass to the bottom he raised his eyes and saw for the first time and with
unbounded astonishment that he was not alone
No he was not for on the opposite side of the fire there sat with folded
arms a wrinkled hideous figure with deeply sunk and bloodshot eyes and an
immensely long cadaverous face shadowed by jagged and matted locks of coarse
black hair He wore a kind of tunic of a dull bluish colour which the baron
observed on regarding it attentively was clasped or ornamented down the front
with coffin handles His legs too were encased in coffin plates as though in
armour and over his left shoulder he wore a short dusky cloak which seemed made
of a remnant of some pall He took no notice of the baron but was intently
eyeing the fire
Halloa said the baron stamping his foot to attract attention
Halloa replied the stranger moving his eyes towards the baron but not his
face or himself What now
What now replied the baron nothing daunted by his hollow voice and
lustreless eyes I should ask that question How did you get here
Through the door replied the figure
What are you says the baron
A man replied the figure
I dont believe it says the baron
Disbelieve it then says the figure
I will rejoined the baron
The figure looked at the bold Baron of Grogzwig for some time and then said
familiarly
Theres no coming over you I see Im not a man
What are you then asked the baron
A genius replied the figure
You dont look much like one returned the baron scornfully
I am the Genius of Despair and Suicide said the apparition Now you know
me
With these words the apparition turned towards the baron as if composing
himself for a talk and what was very remarkable was that he threw his cloak
aside and displaying a stake which was run through the centre of his body
pulled it out with a jerk and laid it on the table as composedly as if it had
been a walkingstick
Now said the figure glancing at the huntingknife are you ready for me
Not quite rejoined the baron I must finish this pipe first
Look sharp then said the figure
You seem in a hurry said the baron
Why yes I am answered the figure theyre doing a pretty brisk business
in my way over in England and France just now and my time is a good deal taken
up
Do you drink said the baron touching the bottle with the bowl of his pipe
Nine times out of ten and then very hard rejoined the figure drily
Never in moderation asked the baron
Never replied the figure with a shudder that breeds cheerfulness
The baron took another look at his new friend whom he thought an uncommonly
queer customer and at length inquired whether he took any active part in such
little proceedings as that which he had in contemplation
No replied the figure evasively but I am always present
Just to see fair I suppose said the baron
Just that replied the figure playing with the stake and examining the
ferule
Be as quick as you can will you for theres a young gentleman who is
afflicted with too much money and leisure wanting me now I find
Going to kill himself because he has too much money exclaimed the baron
quite tickled Ha ha thats a good one This was the first time the baron had
laughed for many a long day
I say expostulated the figure looking very much scared dont do that
again
Why not demanded the baron
Because it gives me pain all over replied the figure Sigh as much as you
please that does me good
The baron sighed mechanically at the mention of the word the figure
brightening up again handed him the huntingknife with the most winning
politeness
Its not a bad idea though said the baron feeling the edge of the weapon
a man killing himself because he has too much money
Pooh said the apparition petulantly no better than a mans killing
himself because he has none or little
Whether the genius unintentionally committed himself in saying this or
whether he thought the barons mind was so thoroughly made up that it didnt
matter what he said I have no means of knowing I only know that the baron
stopped his hand all of a sudden opened his eyes wide and looked as if quite a
new light had come upon him for the first time
Why certainly said Von Koëldwethout nothing is too bad to be retrieved
Except empty coffers cried the genius
Well but they may be one day filled again said the baron
Scolding wives snarled the genius
Oh They may be made quiet said the baron
Thirteen children shouted the genius
Cant all go wrong surely said the baron
The genius was evidently growing very savage with the baron for holding
these opinions all at once but he tried to laugh it off and said if he would
let him know when he had left off joking he should feel obliged to him
But I am not joking I was never farther from it remonstrated the baron
Well I am glad to hear that said the genius looking very grim because a
joke without any figure of speech is the death of me Come Quit this dreary
world at once
I dont know said the baron playing with the knife its a dreary one
certainly but I dont think yours is much better for you have not the
appearance of being particularly comfortable That puts me in mind what
security have I that I shall be any the better for going out of the world after
all he cried starting up I never thought of that
Dispatch cried the figure gnashing its teeth
Keep off said the baron Ill brood over miseries no longer but put a good
face on the matter and try the fresh air and the bears again and if that dont
do Ill talk to the baroness soundly and cut the Von Swillenhausens dead With
this the baron fell into his chair and laughed so loud and boisterously that
the room rang with it
The figure fell back a pace or two regarding the baron meanwhile with a
look of intense terror and when he had ceased caught up the stake plunged it
violently into its body uttered a frightful howl and disappeared
Von Koëldwethout never saw it again Having once made up his mind to action
he soon brought the baroness and the Von Swillenhausens to reason and died many
years afterwards not a rich man that I am aware of but certainly a happy one
leaving behind him a numerous family who had been carefully educated in bear
and boar hunting under his own personal eye And my advice to all men is that
if ever they become hipped and melancholy from similar causes as very many men
do they look at both sides of the question applying a magnifying glass to the
best one and if they still feel tempted to retire without leave that they
smoke a large pipe and drink a full bottle first and profit by the laudable
example of the Baron of Grogzwig«
»The fresh coach is ready ladies and gentlemen if you please« said a new
driver looking in
This intelligence caused the punch to be finished in a great hurry and
prevented any discussion relative to the last story Mr Squeers was observed to
draw the greyheaded gentleman on one side and to ask a question with great
apparent interest it bore reference to the Five Sisters of York and was in
fact an inquiry whether he could inform him how much per annum the Yorkshire
convents got in those days with their boarders
The journey was then resumed Nicholas fell asleep towards morning and when
he awoke found with great regret that during his nap both the Baron of
Grogzwig and the greyhaired gentleman had got down and were gone The day
dragged on uncomfortably enough At about six oclock that night he and Mr
Squeers and the little boys and their united luggage were all put down
together at the George and New Inn Greta Bridge
Chapter VII
Mr and Mrs Squeers at Home
Mr Squeers being safely landed left Nicholas and the boys standing with the
luggage in the road to amuse themselves by looking at the coach as it changed
horses while he ran into the tavern and went through the legstretching process
at the bar After some minutes he returned with his legs thoroughly stretched
if the hue of his nose and a short hiccup afforded any criterion and at the
same time there came out of the yard a rusty ponychaise and a cart driven by
two labouring men
»Put the boys and the boxes into the cart« said Squeers rubbing his hands
»and this young man and me will go on in the chaise Get in Nickleby«
Nicholas obeyed Mr Squeers with some difficulty inducing the pony to obey
also they started off leaving the cartload of infant misery to follow at
leisure
»Are you cold Nickleby« inquired Squeers after they had travelled some
distance in silence
»Rather sir I must say«
»Well I dont find fault with that« said Squeers »its a long journey
this weather«
»Is it much farther to Dotheboys Hall sir« asked Nicholas
»About three mile from here« replied Squeers »But you neednt call it a
Hall down here«
Nicholas coughed as if he would like to know why
»The fact is it aint a Hall« observed Squeers drily
»Oh indeed« said Nicholas whom this piece of intelligence much
astonished
»No« replied Squeers »We call it a Hall up in London because it sounds
better but they dont know it by that name in these parts A man may call his
house an island if he likes theres no act of Parliament against that I
believe«
»I believe not sir« rejoined Nicholas
Squeers eyed his companion slily at the conclusion of this little dialogue
and finding that he had grown thoughtful and appeared in nowise disposed to
volunteer any observations contented himself with lashing the pony until they
reached their journeys end
»Jump out« said Squeers »Hallo there come and put this horse up Be
quick will you«
While the schoolmaster was uttering these and other impatient cries
Nicholas had time to observe that the school was a long coldlooking house one
story high with a few straggling outbuildings behind and a barn and stable
adjoining After the lapse of a minute or two the noise of somebody unlocking
the yardgate was heard and presently a tall lean boy with a lantern in his
hand issued forth
»Is that you Smike« cried Squeers
»Yes sir« replied the boy
»Then why the devil didnt you come before«
»Please sir I fell asleep over the fire« answered Smike with humility
»Fire what fire Wheres there a fire« demanded the schoolmaster sharply
»Only in the kitchen sir« replied the boy »Missus said as I was sitting
up I might go in there for a warm«
»Your Missus is a fool« retorted Squeers »Youd have been a deuced deal
more wakeful in the cold Ill engage«
By this time Mr Squeers had dismounted and after ordering the boy to see
to the pony and to take care that he hadnt any more corn that night he told
Nicholas to wait at the front door a minute while he went round and let him in
A host of unpleasant misgivings which had been crowding upon Nicholas
during the whole journey thronged into his mind with redoubled force when he
was left alone His great distance from home and the impossibility of reaching
it except on foot should he feel ever so anxious to return presented itself
to him in most alarming colours and as he looked up at the dreary house and
dark windows and upon the wild country round covered with snow he felt a
depression of heart and spirit which he had never experienced before
»Now then« cried Squeers poking his head out at the front door »Where are
you Nickleby«
»Here sir« replied Nicholas
»Come in then« said Squeers »the wind blows in at this door fit to knock
a man off his legs«
Nicholas sighed and hurried in Mr Squeers having bolted the door to keep
it shut ushered him into a small parlour scantily furnished with a few chairs
a yellow map hung against the wall and a couple of tables one of which bore
some preparations for supper while on the other a tutors assistant a
Murrays grammar half a dozen cards of terms and a worn letter directed to
Wackford Squeers Esquire were arranged in picturesque confusion
They had not been in this apartment a couple of minutes when a female
bounced into the room and seizing Mr Squeers by the throat gave him two loud
kisses one close after the other like a postmans knock The lady who was of
a large rawboned figure was about half a head taller than Mr Squeers and was
dressed in a dimity nightjacket with her hair in papers she had also a dirty
nightcap on relieved by a yellow cotton handkerchief which tied it under the
chin
»How is my Squeery« said this lady in a playful manner and a very hoarse
voice
»Quite well my love« replied Squeers »Hows the cows«
»All right every one of em« answered the lady
»And the pigs« said Squeers
»As well as they were when you went away«
»Come thats a blessing« said Squeers pulling off his greatcoat »The
boys are all as they were I suppose«
»Oh yes theyre well enough« replied Mrs Squeers snappishly »That
young Pitchers had a fever«
»No« exclaimed Squeers »Damn that boy hes always at something of that
sort«
»Never was such a boy I do believe« said Mrs Squeers »whatever he has is
always catching too I say its obstinacy and nothing shall ever convince me
that it isnt Id beat it out of him and I told you that six months ago«
»So you did my love« rejoined Squeers »Well try what can be done«
Pending these little endearments Nicholas had stood awkwardly enough in
the middle of the room not very well knowing whether he was expected to retire
into the passage or to remain where he was He was now relieved from his
perplexity by Mr Squeers
»This is the new young man my dear« said that gentleman
»Oh« replied Mrs Squeers nodding her head at Nicholas and eyeing him
coldly from top to toe
»Hell take a meal with us tonight« said Squeers »and go among the boys
tomorrow morning You can give him a shakedown here tonight cant you«
»We must manage it somehow« replied the lady »You dont much mind how you
sleep I suppose sir«
»No indeed« replied Nicholas »I am not particular«
»Thats lucky« said Mrs Squeers And as the ladys humour was considered
to lie chiefly in retort Mr Squeers laughed heartily and seemed to expect
that Nicholas should do the same
After some further conversation between the master and mistress relative to
the success of Mr Squeerss trip and the people who had paid and the people
who had made default in payment a young servant girl brought in a Yorkshire pie
and some cold beef which being set upon the table the boy Smike appeared with
a jug of ale
Mr Squeers was emptying his greatcoat pockets of letters to different
boys and other small documents which he had brought down in them The boy
glanced with an anxious and timid expression at the papers as if with a
sickly hope that one among them might relate to him The look was a very painful
one and went to Nicholass heart at once for it told a long and very sad
history
It induced him to consider the boy more attentively and he was surprised to
observe the extraordinary mixture of garments which formed his dress Although
he could not have been less than eighteen or nineteen years old and was tall
for that age he wore a skeleton suit such as is usually put upon very little
boys and which though most absurdly short in the arms and legs was quite wide
enough for his attenuated frame In order that the lower part of his legs might
be in perfect keeping with this singular dress he had a very large pair of
boots originally made for tops which might have been once worn by some stout
farmer but were now too patched and tattered for a beggar Heaven knows how
long he had been there but he still wore the same linen which he had first
taken down for round his neck was a tattered childs frill only half
concealed by a coarse mans neckerchief He was lame and as he feigned to be
busy in arranging the table glanced at the letters with a look so keen and yet
so dispirited and hopeless that Nicholas could hardly bear to watch him
»What are you bothering about there Smike« cried Mrs Squeers »let the
things alone cant you«
»Eh« said Squeers looking up »Oh its you is it«
»Yes sir« replied the youth pressing his hands together as though to
control by force the nervous wandering of his fingers »Is there «
»Well« said Squeers
»Have you did anybody has nothing been heard about me«
»Devil a bit« replied Squeers testily
The lad withdrew his eyes and putting his hand to his face moved towards
the door
»Not a word« resumed Squeers »and never will be Now this is a pretty
sort of thing isnt it that you should have been left here all these years
and no money paid after the first six nor no notice taken nor no clue to be
got who you belong to Its a pretty sort of thing that I should have to feed a
great fellow like you and never hope to get one penny for it isnt it«
The boy put his hand to his head as if he were making an effort to recollect
something and then looking vacantly at his questioner gradually broke into a
smile and limped away
»Ill tell you what Squeers« remarked his wife as the door closed »I
think that young chaps turning silly«
»I hope not« said the schoolmaster »for hes a handy fellow out of doors
and worth his meat and drink anyway I should think hed have wit enough for us
though if he was But come lets have supper for I am hungry and tired and
want to get to bed«
The reminder brought in an exclusive steak for Mr Squeers who speedily
proceeded to do it ample justice Nicholas drew up his chair but his appetite
was effectually taken away
»Hows the steak Squeers« said Mrs S
»Tender as a lamb« replied Squeers »Have a bit«
»I couldnt eat a morsel« replied his wife »Whatll the young man take my
dear«
»Whatever he likes thats present« rejoined Squeers in a most unusual
burst of generosity
»What do you say Mr Knuckleboy« inquired Mrs Squeers
»Ill take a little of the pie if you please« replied Nicholas »A very
little for Im not hungry«
»Well its a pity to cut the pie if youre not hungry isnt it« said Mrs
Squeers »Will you try a bit of the beef«
»Whatever you please« replied Nicholas abstractedly »its all the same to
me«
Mrs Squeers looked vastly gracious on receiving this reply and nodding to
Squeers as much as to say that she was glad to find the young man knew his
station assisted Nicholas to a slice of meat with her own fair hands
»Ale Squeery« inquired the lady winking and frowning to give him to
understand that the question propounded was whether Nicholas should have ale
and not whether he Squeers would take any
»Certainly« said Squeers retelegraphing in the same manner »A glassful«
So Nicholas had a glassful and being occupied with his own reflections
drank it in happy innocence of all the foregone proceedings
»Uncommon juicy steak that« said Squeers as he laid down his knife and
fork after plying it in silence for some time
»Its prime meat« rejoined his lady »I bought a good large piece of it
myself on purpose for «
»For what« exclaimed Squeers hastily »Not for the «
»No no not for them« rejoined Mrs Squeers »on purpose for you against
you came home Lor you didnt think I could have made such a mistake as that«
»Upon my word my dear I didnt know what you were going to say« said
Squeers who had turned pale
»You neednt make yourself uncomfortable« remarked his wife laughing
heartily »To think that I should be such a noddy Well«
This part of the conversation was rather unintelligible but popular rumour
in the neighbourhood asserted that Mr Squeers being amiably opposed to cruelty
to animals not unfrequently purchased for boy consumption the bodies of horned
cattle who had died a natural death possibly he was apprehensive of having
unintentionally devoured some choice morsel intended for the young gentlemen
Supper being over and removed by a small servant girl with a hungry eye
Mrs Squeers retired to lock it up and also to take into safe custody the
clothes of the five boys who had just arrived and who were halfway up the
troublesome flight of steps which leads to deaths door in consequence of
exposure to the cold They were then regaled with a light supper of porridge
and stowed away side by side in a small bedstead to warm each other and
dream of a substantial meal with something hot after it if their fancies set
that way which it is not at all improbable they did
Mr Squeers treated himself to a stiff tumbler of brandy and water made on
the liberal halfandhalf principle allowing for the dissolution of the sugar
and his amiable helpmate mixed Nicholas the ghost of a small glassful of the
same compound This done Mr and Mrs Squeers drew close up to the fire and
sitting with their feet on the fender talked confidentially in whispers while
Nicholas taking up the tutors assistant read the interesting legends in the
miscellaneous questions and all the figures into the bargain with as much
thought or consciousness of what he was doing as if he had been in a magnetic
slumber
At length Mr Squeers yawned fearfully and opined that it was high time to
go to bed upon which signal Mrs Squeers and the girl dragged in a small straw
mattress and a couple of blankets and arranged them into a couch for Nicholas
»Well put you into your regular bedroom tomorrow Nickleby« said
Squeers »Let me see Who sleeps in Brookss bed my dear«
»In Brookss« said Mrs Squeers pondering »Theres Jennings little
Bolder Graymarsh and whats his name«
»So there is« rejoined Squeers »Yes Brooks is full«
»Full« thought Nicholas »I should think he was«
»Theres a place somewhere I know« said Squeers »but I cant at this
moment call to mind where it is However well have that all settled tomorrow
Good night Nickleby Seven oclock in the morning mind«
»I shall be ready sir« replied Nicholas »Good night«
»Ill come in myself and show you where the well is« said Squeers »Youll
always find a little bit of soap in the kitchen window that belongs to you«
Nicholas opened his eyes but not his mouth and Squeers was again going
away when he once more turned back
»I dont know I am sure« he said »whose towel to put you on but if
youll make shift with something tomorrow morning Mrs Squeers will arrange
that in the course of the day My dear dont forget«
»Ill take care« replied Mrs Squeers »and mind you take care young man
and get first wash The teacher ought always to have it but they get the better
of him if they can«
Mr Squeers then nudged Mrs Squeers to bring away the brandy bottle lest
Nicholas should help himself in the night and the lady having seized it with
great precipitation they retired together
Nicholas being left alone took half a dozen turns up and down the room in
a condition of much agitation and excitement but growing gradually calmer sat
himself down in a chair and mentally resolved that come what come might he
would endeavour for a time to bear whatever wretchedness might be in store for
him and that remembering the helplessness of his mother and sister he would
give his uncle no plea for deserting them in their need Good resolutions seldom
fail of producing some good effect in the mind from which they spring He grew
less desponding and so sanguine and buoyant is youth even hoped that
affairs at Dotheboys Hall might yet prove better than they promised
He was preparing for bed with something like renewed cheerfulness when a
sealed letter fell from his coat pocket In the hurry of leaving London it had
escaped his attention and had not occurred to him since but it at once brought
back to him the recollection of the mysterious behaviour of Newman Noggs
»Dear me« said Nicholas »what an extraordinary hand«
It was directed to himself was written upon very dirty paper and in such
cramped and crippled writing as to be almost illegible After great difficulty
and much puzzling he contrived to read as follows
»My dear young Man
I know the world Your father did not or he would not have done me
a kindness when there was no hope of return You do not or you would
not be bound on such a journey
If ever you want a shelter in London dont be angry at this I once
thought I never should they know where I live at the sign of the
Crown in Silver Street Golden Square It is at the corner of Silver
Street and James Street with a bar door both ways You can come at
night Once nobody was ashamed never mind that Its all over
Excuse errors I should forget how to wear a whole coat now I have
forgotten all my old ways My spelling may have gone with them
NEWMAN NOGGS
PS If you should go near Barnard Castle there is good ale at the
Kings Head Say you know me and I am sure they will not charge you for
it You may say Mr Noggs there for I was a gentleman then I was
indeed«
It may be a very undignified circumstance to record but after he had folded
this letter and placed it in his pocketbook Nicholas Nicklebys eyes were
dimmed with a moisture that might have been taken for tears
Chapter VIII
Of the Internal Economy of Dotheboys Hall
A ride of two hundred and odd miles in severe weather is one of the best
softeners of a hard bed that ingenuity can devise Perhaps it is even a
sweetener of dreams for those which hovered over the rough couch of Nicholas and
whispered their airy nothings in his ear were of an agreeable and happy kind
He was making his fortune very fast indeed when the faint glimmer of an
expiring candle shone before his eyes and a voice he had no difficulty in
recognising as part and parcel of Mr Squeers admonished him that it was time
to rise
»Past seven Nickleby« said Mr Squeers
»Has morning come already« asked Nicholas sitting up in bed
»Ah that has it« replied Squeers »and ready iced too Now Nickleby
come tumble up will you«
Nicholas needed no further admonition but tumbled up at once and proceeded
to dress himself by the light of the taper which Mr Squeers carried in his
hand
»Heres a pretty go« said that gentleman »the pumps froze«
»Indeed« said Nicholas not much interested in the intelligence
»Yes« replied Squeers »You cant wash yourself this morning«
»Not wash myself« exclaimed Nicholas
»No not a bit of it« rejoined Squeers tartly »So you must be content with
giving yourself a dry polish till we break the ice in the well and can get a
bucketful out for the boys Dont stand staring at me but do look sharp will
you«
Offering no further observation Nicholas huddled on his clothes Squeers
meanwhile opened the shutters and blew the candle out when the voice of his
amiable consort was heard in the passage demanding admittance
»Come in my love« said Squeers
Mrs Squeers came in still habited in the primitive nightjacket which had
displayed the symmetry of her figure on the previous night and further
ornamented with a beaver bonnet of some antiquity which she wore with much
ease and lightness on the top of the nightcap before mentioned
»Drat the things« said the lady opening the cupboard »I cant find the
school spoon anywhere«
»Never mind it my dear« observed Squeers in a soothing manner »its of no
consequence«
»No consequence why how you talk« retorted Mrs Squeers sharply »isnt it
brimstone morning«
»I forgot my dear« rejoined Squeers »yes it certainly is We purify the
boys bloods now and then Nickleby«
»Purify fiddlesticks ends« said his lady »Dont think young man that we
go to the expense of flower of brimstone and molasses just to purify them
because if you think we carry on the business in that way youll find yourself
mistaken and so I tell you plainly«
»My dear« said Squeers frowning »Hem«
»Oh nonsense« rejoined Mrs Squeers »If the young man comes to be a
teacher here let him understand at once that we dont want any foolery about
the boys They have the brimstone and treacle partly because if they hadnt
something or other in the way of medicine theyd be always ailing and giving a
world of trouble and partly because it spoils their appetites and comes cheaper
than breakfast and dinner So it does them good and us good at the same time
and thats fair enough Im sure«
Having given this explanation Mrs Squeers put her hand into the closet and
instituted a stricter search after the spoon in which Mr Squeers assisted A
few words passed between them while they were thus engaged but as their voices
were partially stifled by the cupboard all that Nicholas could distinguish was
that Mr Squeers said what Mrs Squeers had said was injudicious and that Mrs
Squeers said what Mr Squeers said was »stuff«
A vast deal of searching and rummaging ensued and it proving fruitless
Smike was called in and pushed by Mrs Squeers and boxed by Mr Squeers which
course of treatment brightening his intellects enabled him to suggest that
possibly Mrs Squeers might have the spoon in her pocket as indeed turned out
to be the case As Mrs Squeers had previously protested however that she was
quite certain she had not got it Smike received another box on the ear for
presuming to contradict his mistress together with a promise of a sound
thrashing if he were not more respectful in future so that he took nothing very
advantageous by his motion
»A most invaluable woman that Nickleby« said Squeers when his consort had
hurried away pushing the drudge before her
»Indeed sir« observed Nicholas
»I dont know her equal« said Squeers »I do not know her equal That
woman Nickleby is always the same always the same bustling lively active
saving creetur that you see her now«
Nicholas sighed involuntarily at the thought of the agreeable domestic
prospect thus opened to him but Squeers was fortunately too much occupied
with his own reflections to perceive it
»Its my way to say when I am up in London« continued Squeers »that to
them boys she is a mother But she is more than a mother to them ten times
more She does things for them boys Nickleby that I dont believe half the
mothers going would do for their own sons«
»I should think they would not sir« answered Nicholas
Now the fact was that both Mr and Mrs Squeers viewed the boys in the
light of their proper and natural enemies or in other words, they held and
considered that their business and profession was to get as much from every boy
as could by possibility be screwed out of him On this point they were both
agreed and behaved in unison accordingly The only difference between them was
that Mrs Squeers waged war against the enemy openly and fearlessly and that
Squeers covered his rascality even at home with a spice of his habitual
deceit as if he really had a notion of some day or other being able to take
himself in and persuade his own mind that he was a very good fellow
»But come« said Squeers interrupting the progress of some thoughts to this
effect in the mind of his usher »lets go to the schoolroom and lend me a
hand with my schoolcoat will you«
Nicholas assisted his master to put on an old fustian shootingjacket which
he took down from a peg in the passage and Squeers arming himself with his
cane led the way across a yard to a door in the rear of the house
»There« said the schoolmaster as they stepped in together »this is our
shop Nickleby«
It was such a crowded scene and there were so many objects to attract
attention that at first Nicholas stared about him really without seeing
anything at all By degrees however the place resolved itself into a bare and
dirty room with a couple of windows whereof a tenth part might be of glass
the remainder being stopped up with old copybooks and paper There were a couple
of long old rickety desks cut and notched and inked and damaged in every
possible way two or three forms a detached desk for Squeers and another for
his assistant The ceiling was supported like that of a barn by cross beams
and rafters and the walls were so stained and discoloured that it was
impossible to tell whether they had ever been touched with paint or whitewash
But the pupils the young noblemen How the last faint traces of hope the
remotest glimmering of any good to be derived from his efforts in this den
faded from the mind of Nicholas as he looked in dismay around Pale and haggard
faces lank and bony figures children with the countenances of old men
deformities with irons upon their limbs boys of stunted growth and others
whose long meagre legs would hardly bear their stooping bodies all crowded on
the view together there were the bleared eye the harelip the crooked foot
and every ugliness or distortion that told of unnatural aversion conceived by
parents for their offspring or of young lives which from the earliest dawn of
infancy had been one horrible endurance of cruelty and neglect There were
little faces which should have been handsome darkened with the scowl of sullen
dogged suffering there was childhood with the light of its eye quenched its
beauty gone and its helplessness alone remaining there were viciousfaced
boys brooding with leaden eyes like malefactors in a jail and there were
young creatures on whom the sins of their frail parents had descended weeping
even for the mercenary nurses they had known and lonesome even in their
loneliness With every kindly sympathy and affection blasted in its birth with
every young and healthy feeling flogged and starved down with every revengeful
passion that can fester in swollen hearts eating its evil way to their core in
silence what an incipient Hell was breeding here
And yet this scene painful as it was had its grotesque features which in
a less interested observer than Nicholas might have provoked a smile Mrs
Squeers stood at one of the desks presiding over an immense basin of brimstone
and treacle of which delicious compound she administered a large instalment to
each boy in succession using for the purpose a common wooden spoon which might
have been originally manufactured for some gigantic top and which widened every
young gentlemans mouth considerably they being all obliged under heavy
corporal penalties to take in the whole of the bowl at a gasp In another
corner huddled together for companionship were the little boys who had arrived
on the preceding night three of them in very large leather breeches and two in
old trousers a something tighter fit than drawers are usually worn at no great
distance from these was seated the juvenile son and heir of Mr Squeers a
striking likeness of his father kicking with great vigour under the hands of
Smike who was fitting upon him a pair of new boots that bore a most suspicious
resemblance to those which the least of the little boys had worn on the journey
down as the little boy himself seemed to think for he was regarding the
appropriation with a look of most rueful amazement Besides these there was a
long row of boys waiting with countenances of no pleasant anticipation to be
treacled and another file who had just escaped from the infliction making a
variety of wry mouths indicative of anything but satisfaction The whole were
attired in such motley illsorted extraordinary garments as would have been
irresistibly ridiculous but for the foul appearance of dirt disorder and
disease with which they were associated
»Now« said Squeers giving the desk a great rap with his cane which made
half the little boys nearly jump out of their boots »is that physicking over«
»Just over« said Mrs Squeers choking the last boy in her hurry and
tapping the crown of his head with the wooden spoon to restore him »Here you
Smike take away now Look sharp«
Smike shuffled out with the basin and Mrs Squeers having called up a
little boy with a curly head and wiped her hands upon it hurried out after him
into a species of washhouse where there was a small fire and a large kettle
together with a number of little wooden bowls which were arranged upon a board
Into these bowls Mrs Squeers assisted by the hungry servant poured a
brown composition which looked like diluted pincushions without the covers and
was called porridge A minute wedge of brown bread was inserted in each bowl
and when they had eaten their porridge by means of the bread the boys ate the
bread itself, and had finished their breakfast whereupon Mr Squeers said in a
solemn voice »For what we have received may the Lord make us truly thankful«
and went away to his own
Nicholas distended his stomach with a bowl of porridge for much the same
reason which induces some savages to swallow earth lest they should be
inconveniently hungry when there is nothing to eat Having further disposed of a
slice of bread and butter allotted to him in virtue of his office he sat
himself down to wait for schooltime
He could not but observe how silent and sad the boys all seemed to be There
was none of the noise and clamour of a schoolroom none of its boisterous play
or hearty mirth The children sat crouching and shivering together and seemed
to lack the spirit to move about The only pupil who evinced the slightest
tendency towards locomotion or playfulness was Master Squeers and as his chief
amusement was to tread upon the other boys toes in his new boots his flow of
spirits was rather disagreeable than otherwise
After some halfhours delay Mr Squeers reappeared and the boys took
their places and their books of which latter commodity the average might be
about one to eight learners A few minutes having elapsed during which Mr
Squeers looked very profound as if he had a perfect apprehension of what was
inside all the books and could say every word of their contents by heart if he
only chose to take the trouble that gentleman called up the first class
Obedient to this summons there ranged themselves in front of the
schoolmasters desk halfadozen scarecrows out at knees and elbows one of
whom placed a torn and filthy book beneath his learned eye
»This is the first class in English spelling and philosophy Nickleby« said
Squeers beckoning Nicholas to stand beside him »Well get up a Latin one and
hand that over to you Now then wheres the first boy«
»Please sir hes cleaning the back parlour window« said the temporary
head of the philosophical class
»So he is to be sure« rejoined Squeers »We go upon the practical mode of
teaching Nickleby the regular education system Clean clean verb active
to make bright to scour Win win der der winder a casement When the
boy knows this out of book he goes and does it Its just the same principle as
the use of the globes Wheres the second boy«
»Please sir hes weeding the garden« replied a small voice
»To be sure« said Squeers by no means disconcerted »So he is Bot bot
tin tin bottin ney ney bottinney noun substantive a knowledge of
plants When he has learned that bottinney means a knowledge of plants he goes
and knows em Thats our system Nickleby what do you think of it«
»Its a very useful one at any rate« answered Nicholas
»I believe you« rejoined Squeers not remarking the emphasis of his usher
»Third boy whats a horse«
»A beast sir« replied the boy
»So it is« said Squeers »Aint it Nickleby«
»I believe there is no doubt of that sir« answered Nicholas
»Of course there isnt« said Squeers »A horse is a quadruped and
quadrupeds Latin for beast as every body thats gone through the grammar
knows or else wheres the use of having grammars at all«
»Where indeed« said Nicholas abstractedly
»As youre perfect in that« resumed Squeers turning to the boy »go and
look after my horse and rub him down well or Ill rub you down The rest of
the class go and draw water up till somebody tells you to leave off for its
washingday tomorrow and they want the coppers filled«
So saying he dismissed the first class to their experiments in practical
philosophy and eyed Nicholas with a look half cunning and half doubtful as if
he were not altogether certain what he might think of him by this time
»Thats the way we do it Nickleby« he said after a pause
Nicholas shrugged his shoulders in a manner that was scarcely perceptible
and said he saw it was
»And a very good way it is too« said Squeers »Now just take them
fourteen little boys and hear them some reading because you know you must
begin to be useful Idling about here wont do«
Mr Squeers said this as if it had suddenly occurred to him either that he
must not say too much to his assistant or that his assistant did not say enough
to him in praise of the establishment The children were arranged in a
semicircle round the new master and he was soon listening to their dull
drawling hesitating recital of those stories of engrossing interest which are
to be found in the more antiquated spelling books
In this exciting occupation the morning lagged heavily on At one oclock
the boys having previously had their appetites thoroughly taken away by
stirabout and potatoes sat down in the kitchen to some hard salt beef of
which Nicholas was graciously permitted to take his portion to his own solitary
desk to eat it there in peace After this there was another hour of crouching
in the schoolroom and shivering with cold and then school began again
It was Mr Squeerss custom to call the boys together and make a sort of
report after every halfyearly visit to the metropolis regarding the relations
and friends he had seen the news he had heard the letters he had brought down
the bills which had been paid the accounts which had been left unpaid and so
forth This solemn proceeding always took place in the afternoon of the day
succeeding his return perhaps because the boys acquired strength of mind from
the suspense of the morning or possibly because Mr Squeers himself acquired
greater sternness and inflexibility from certain warm potations in which he was
wont to indulge after his early dinner Be this as it may the boys were
recalled from housewindow garden stable and cowyard and the school were
assembled in full conclave when Mr Squeers with a small bundle of papers in
his hand and Mrs S following with a pair of canes entered the room and
proclaimed silence
»Let any boy speak a word without leave« said Mr Squeers mildly »and Ill
take the skin off his back«
This special proclamation had the desired effect and a deathlike silence
immediately prevailed in the midst of which Mr Squeers went on to say
»Boys Ive been to London and have returned to my family and you as
strong and well as ever«
According to halfyearly custom the boys gave three feeble cheers at this
refreshing intelligence Such cheers Sighs of extra strength with the chill on
»I have seen the parents of some boys« continued Squeers turning over his
papers »and theyre so glad to hear how their sons are getting on that theres
no prospect at all of their going away which of course is a very pleasant thing
to reflect upon for all parties«
Two or three hands went to two or three eyes when Squeers said this but the
greater part of the young gentlemen having no particular parents to speak of
were wholly uninterested in the thing one way or other
»I have had disappointments to contend against« said Squeers looking very
grim »Bolders father was two pound ten short Where is Bolder«
»Here he is please sir« rejoined twenty officious voices Boys are very
like men to be sure
»Come here Bolder« said Squeers
An unhealthylooking boy with warts all over his hands stepped from his
place to the masters desk and raised his eyes imploringly to Squeerss face
his own quite white from the rapid beating of his heart
»Bolder« said Squeers speaking very slowly for he was considering as the
saying goes where to have him »Bolder if your father thinks that because
why whats this sir«
As Squeers spoke he caught up the boys hand by the cuff of his jacket and
surveyed it with an edifying aspect of horror and disgust
»What do you call this sir« demanded the schoolmaster administering a cut
with the cane to expedite the reply
»I cant help it indeed sir« rejoined the boy crying »They will come
its the dirty work I think sir at least I dont know what it is sir but
its not my fault«
»Bolder« said Squeers tucking up his wristbands and moistening the palm
of his right hand to get a good grip of the cane »you are an incorrigible young
scoundrel and as the last thrashing did you no good we must see what another
will do towards beating it out of you«
With this and wholly disregarding a piteous cry for mercy Mr Squeers fell
upon the boy and caned him soundly not leaving off indeed until his arm was
tired out
»There« said Squeers when he had quite done »rub away as hard as you
like you wont rub that off in a hurry Oh you wont hold that noise wont
you Put him out Smike«
The drudge knew better from long experience than to hesitate about obeying
so he bundled the victim out by a side door and Mr Squeers perched himself
again on his own stool supported by Mrs Squeers who occupied another at his
side
»Now let us see« said Squeers »A letter for Cobbey Stand up Cobbey«
Another boy stood up and eyed the letter very hard while Squeers made a
mental abstract of the same
»Oh« said Squeers »Cobbeys grandmother is dead and his uncle John has
took to drinking which is all the news his sister sends except eighteenpence
which will just pay for that broken square of glass Mrs Squeers my dear will
you take the money«
The worthy lady pocketed the eighteenpence with a most businesslike air
and Squeers passed on to the next boy as coolly as possible
»Graymarsh« said Squeers »hes the next Stand up Graymarsh«
Another boy stood up and the schoolmaster looked over the letter as before
»Graymarshs maternal aunt« said Squeers when he had possessed himself of
the contents »is very glad to hear hes so well and happy and sends her
respectful compliments to Mrs Squeers and thinks she must be an angel She
likewise thinks Mr Squeers is too good for this world but hopes he may long be
spared to carry on the business Would have sent the two pair of stockings as
desired but is short of money so forwards a tract instead and hopes Graymarsh
will put his trust in Providence Hopes above all that he will study in
everything to please Mr and Mrs Squeers and look upon them as his only
friends and that he will love Master Squeers and not object to sleeping five
in a bed which no Christian should Ah« said Squeers folding it up »a
delightful letter Very affecting indeed«
It was affecting in one sense for Graymarshs maternal aunt was strongly
supposed by her more intimate friends to be no other than his maternal parent
Squeers however without alluding to this part of the story which would have
sounded immoral before boys proceeded with the business by calling out Mobbs
whereupon another boy rose and Graymarsh resumed his seat
»Mobbss stepmother« said Squeers »took to her bed on hearing that he
wouldnt eat fat and has been very ill ever since She wishes to know by an
early post where he expects to go to if he quarrels with his vittles and with
what feelings he could turn up his nose at the cows liver broth after his good
master had asked a blessing on it This was told her in the London newspapers
not by Mr Squeers for he is too kind and too good to set anybody against
anybody and it has vexed her so much Mobbs cant think She is sorry to find
he is discontented which is sinful and horrid and hopes Mr Squeers will flog
him into a happier state of mind with this view she has also stopped his
halfpenny a week pocketmoney and given a doublebladed knife with a corkscrew
in it to the Missionaries which she had bought on purpose for him«
»A sulky state of feeling« said Squeers after a terrible pause during
which he had moistened the palm of his right hand again »wont do Cheerfulness
and contentment must be kept up Mobbs come to me«
Mobbs moved slowly towards the desk rubbing his eyes in anticipation of
good cause for doing so and he soon afterwards retired by the side door with
as good cause as a boy need have
Mr Squeers then proceeded to open a miscellaneous collection of letters
some enclosing money which Mrs Squeers took care of and others referring to
small articles of apparel as caps and so forth all of which the same lady
stated to be too large or too small and calculated for nobody but young
Squeers who would appear indeed to have had most accommodating limbs since
everything that came into the school fitted him to a nicety His head in
particular must have been singularly elastic for hats and caps of all
dimensions were alike to him
This business despatched a few slovenly lessons were performed and Squeers
retired to his fireside leaving Nicholas to take care of the boys in the
schoolroom which was very cold and where a meal of bread and cheese was
served out shortly after dark
There was a small stove at that corner of the room which was nearest to the
masters desk and by it Nicholas sat down so depressed and selfdegraded by
the consciousness of his position that if death could have come upon him at
that time he would have been almost happy to meet it The cruelty of which he
had been an unwilling witness the coarse and ruffianly behaviour of Squeers
even in his best moods the filthy place the sights and sounds about him all
contributed to this state of feeling but when he recollected that being there
as an assistant he actually seemed no matter what unhappy train of
circumstances had brought him to that pass to be the aider and abettor of a
system which filled him with honest disgust and indignation he loathed himself
and felt for the moment as though the mere consciousness of his present
situation must through all time to come prevent his raising his head again
But for the present his resolve was taken and the resolution he had
formed on the preceding night remained undisturbed He had written to his mother
and sister announcing the safe conclusion of his journey and saying as little
about Dotheboys Hall and saying that little as cheerfully as he possibly
could He hoped that by remaining where he was he might do some good even
there at all events others depended too much on his uncles favour to admit of
his awakening his wrath just then
One reflection disturbed him far more than any selfish considerations
arising out of his own position This was the probable destination of his sister
Kate His uncle had deceived him and might he not consign her to some miserable
place where her youth and beauty would prove a far greater curse than ugliness
and decrepitude To a caged man bound hand and foot this was a terrible idea
but no he thought his mother was by there was the portraitpainter too
simple enough but still living in the world and of it He was willing to
believe that Ralph Nickleby had conceived a personal dislike to himself Having
pretty good reason by this time to reciprocate it he had no great difficulty
in arriving at this conclusion and tried to persuade himself that the feeling
extended no farther than between them
As he was absorbed in these meditations he all at once encountered the
upturned face of Smike who was on his knees before the stove picking a few
stray cinders from the hearth and planting them on the fire He had paused to
steal a look at Nicholas and when he saw that he was observed shrunk back as
if expecting a blow
»You need not fear me« said Nicholas kindly »Are you cold«
»Nno«
»You are shivering«
»I am not cold« replied Smike quickly »I am used to it«
There was such an obvious fear of giving offence in his manner and he was
such a timid brokenspirited creature that Nicholas could not help exclaiming
»Poor fellow«
If he had struck the drudge he would have slunk away without a word But
now he burst into tears
»Oh dear oh dear« he cried covering his face with his cracked and horny
hands »My heart will break It will it will«
»Hush« said Nicholas laying his hand upon his shoulder »Be a man you are
nearly one by years God help you«
»By years« cried Smike »Oh dear dear how many of them How many of them
since I was a little child younger than any that are here now Where are they
all«
»Whom do you speak of« inquired Nicholas wishing to rouse the poor
halfwitted creature to reason »Tell me«
»My friends« he replied »myself my oh what sufferings mine have
been«
»There is always hope« said Nicholas he knew not what to say
»No« rejoined the other »no none for me Do you remember the boy that
died here«
»I was not here you know« said Nicholas gently »but what of him«
»Why« replied the youth drawing closer to his questioners side »I was
with him at night and when it was all silent he cried no more for friends he
wished to come and sit with him but began to see faces round his bed that came
from home he said they smiled and talked to him and he died at last lifting
his head to kiss them Do you hear«
»Yes yes« rejoined Nicholas
»What faces will smile on me when I die« cried his companion shivering
»Who will talk to me in those long nights They cannot come from home they
would frighten me if they did for I dont know what it is and shouldnt know
them Pain and fear pain and fear for me alive or dead No hope no hope«
The bell rang to bed and the boy subsiding at the sound into his usual
listless state crept away as if anxious to avoid notice It was with a heavy
heart that Nicholas soon afterwards no not retired there was no retirement
there followed to his dirty and crowded dormitory
Chapter IX
Of Miss Squeers Mrs Squeers Master Squeers and Mr Squeers and of Various
Matters and Persons Connected no Less with the Squeerses Than with Nicholas
Nickleby
When Mr Squeers left the schoolroom for the night he betook himself as has
been before remarked to his own fireside which was situated not in the room
in which Nicholas had supped on the night of his arrival but in a smaller
apartment in the rear of the premises where his lady wife his amiable son and
accomplished daughter were in the full enjoyment of each others society Mrs
Squeers being engaged in the matronly pursuit of stockingdarning and the young
lady and gentleman being occupied in the adjustment of some youthful
differences by means of a pugilistic contest across the table which on the
approach of their honoured parent subsided into a noiseless exchange of kicks
beneath it
And in this place it may be as well to apprise the reader that Miss Fanny
Squeers was in her threeandtwentieth year If there be any one grace or
loveliness inseparable from that particular period of life Miss Squeers may be
presumed to have been possessed of it as there is no reason to suppose that she
was a solitary exception to a universal rule She was not tall like her mother
but short like her father from the former she inherited a voice of harsh
quality from the latter a remarkable expression of the right eye something
akin to having none at all
Miss Squeers had been spending a few days with a neighbouring friend and
had only just returned to the parental roof To this circumstance may be
referred her having heard nothing of Nicholas until Mr Squeers himself now
made him the subject of conversation
»Well my dear« said Squeers drawing up his chair »what do you think of
him by this time«
»Think of who« inquired Mrs Squeers who as she often remarked was no
grammarian thank Heaven
»Of the young man the new teacher who else could I mean«
»Oh that Knuckleboy« said Mrs Squeers impatiently »I hate him«
»What do you hate him for my dear« asked Squeers
»Whats that to you« retorted Mrs Squeers »If I hate him thats enough
aint it«
»Quite enough for him my dear and a great deal too much I dare say if he
knew it« replied Squeers in a pacific tone »I only asked from curiosity my
dear«
»Well then if you want to know« rejoined Mrs Squeers »Ill tell you
Because hes a proud haughty consequential turnedupnosed peacock«
Mrs Squeers when excited was accustomed to use strong language and
moreover to make use of a plurality of epithets some of which were of a
figurative kind as the word peacock and furthermore the allusion to Nicholass
nose which was not intended to be taken in its literal sense but rather to
bear a latitude of construction according to the fancy of the hearers
Neither were they meant to bear reference to each other so much as to the
object on whom they were bestowed as will be seen in the present case a
peacock with a turnedup nose being a novelty in ornithology and a thing not
commonly seen
»Hem« said Squeers as if in mild deprecation of this outbreak »He is
cheap my dear the young man is very cheap«
»Not a bit of it« retorted Mrs Squeers
»Five pound a year« said Squeers
»What of that its dear if you dont want him isnt it« replied his wife
»But we do want him« urged Squeers
»I dont see that you want him any more than the dead« said Mrs Squeers
»Dont tell me You can put on the cards and in the advertisements Education by
Mr Wackford Squeers and able assistants without having any assistants cant
you Isnt it done every day by all the masters about Ive no patience with
you«
»Havent you« said Squeers sternly »Now Ill tell you what Mrs Squeers
In this matter of having a teacher Ill take my own way if you please A
slavedriver in the West Indies is allowed a man under him to see that his
blacks dont run away or get up a rebellion and Ill have a man under me to do
the same with our blacks till such time as little Wackford is able to take
charge of the school«
»Am I to take care of the school when I grow up a man father« said
Wackford junior suspending in the excess of his delight a vicious kick which
he was administering to his sister
»You are my son« replied Mr Squeers in a sentimental voice
»Oh my eye wont I give it to the boys« exclaimed the interesting child
grasping his fathers cane »Oh father wont I make em squeak again«
It was a proud moment in Mr Squeerss life when he witnessed that burst of
enthusiasm in his young childs mind and saw in it a foreshadowing of his
future eminence He pressed a penny into his hand and gave vent to his feelings
as did his exemplary wife also in a shout of approving laughter The
infantine appeal to their common sympathies at once restored cheerfulness to
the conversation and harmony to the company
»Hes a nasty stuckup monkey thats what I consider him« said Mrs
Squeers reverting to Nicholas
»Supposing he is« said Squeers »he is as well stuck up in our schoolroom
as anywhere else isnt he especially as he dont like it«
»Well« observed Mrs Squeers »theres something in that I hope itll
bring his pride down and it shall be no fault of mine if it dont«
Now a proud usher in a Yorkshire school was such a very extraordinary and
unaccountable thing to hear of any usher at all being a novelty but a proud
one a being of whose existence the wildest imagination could never have dreamed
that Miss Squeers who seldom troubled herself with scholastic matters
inquired with much curiosity who this Knuckleboy was that gave himself such
airs
»Nickleby« said Squeers spelling the name according to some eccentric
system which prevailed in his own mind »your mother always calls things and
people by their wrong names«
»No matter for that« said Mrs Squeers »I see them with right eyes and
thats quite enough for me I watched him when you were laying on to little
Bolder this afternoon He looked as black as thunder all the while and one
time started up as if he had more than got it in his mind to make a rush at you
I saw him though he thought I didnt«
»Never mind that father« said Miss Squeers as the head of the family was
about to reply »Who is the man«
»Why your father has got some nonsense in his head that hes the son of a
poor gentleman that died the other day« said Mrs Squeers
»The son of a gentleman«
»Yes but I dont believe a word of it If hes a gentlemans son at all
hes a fondling thats my opinion«
Mrs Squeers intended to say foundling but as she frequently remarked when
she made any such mistake it would be all the same a hundred years hence with
which axiom of philosophy indeed she was in the constant habit of consoling
the boys when they laboured under more than ordinary ill usage
»Hes nothing of the kind« said Squeers in answer to the above remark
»for his father was married to his mother years before he was born and she is
alive now If he was it would be no business of ours for we make a very good
friend by having him here and if he likes to learn the boys anything besides
minding them I have no objection I am sure«
»I say again I hate him worse than poison« said Mrs Squeers vehemently
»If you dislike him my dear« returned Squeers »I dont know anybody who
can show dislike better than you and of course theres no occasion with him
to take the trouble to hide it«
»I dont intend to I assure you« interposed Mrs S
»Thats right« said Squeers »and if he has a touch of pride about him as
I think he has I dont believe theres a woman in all England that can bring
anybodys spirit down as quick as you can my love«
Mrs Squeers chuckled vastly on the receipt of these flattering compliments
and said she hoped she had tamed a high spirit or two in her day It is but
due to her character to say that in conjunction with her estimable husband she
had broken many and many a one
Miss Fanny Squeers carefully treasured up this and much more conversation
on the same subject until she retired for the night when she questioned the
hungry servant minutely regarding the outward appearance and demeanour of
Nicholas to which queries the girl returned such enthusiastic replies coupled
with so many laudatory remarks touching his beautiful dark eyes and his sweet
smile and his straight legs upon which lastnamed articles she laid
particular stress the general run of legs at Dotheboys Hall being crooked
that Miss Squeers was not long in arriving at the conclusion that the new usher
must be a very remarkable person or as she herself significantly phrased it
something quite out of the common And so Miss Squeers made up her mind that she
would take a personal observation of Nicholas the very next day
In pursuance of this design the young lady watched the opportunity of her
mother being engaged and her father absent and went accidentally into the
schoolroom to get a pen mended where seeing nobody but Nicholas presiding
over the boys she blushed very deeply and exhibited great confusion
»I beg your pardon« faltered Miss Squeers »I thought my father was or
might be dear me how very awkward«
»Mr Squeers is out« said Nicholas by no means overcome by the apparition
unexpected though it was
»Do you know will he be long sir« asked Miss Squeers with bashful
hesitation
»He said about an hour« replied Nicholas politely of course but without
any indication of being stricken to the heart by Miss Squeerss charms
»I never knew anything happen so cross« exclaimed the young lady »Thank
you I am very sorry I intruded I am sure If I hadnt thought my father was
here I wouldnt upon any account have it is very provoking must look so
very strange« murmured Miss Squeers blushing once more and glancing from the
pen in her hand to Nicholas at his desk and back again
»If that is all you want« said Nicholas pointing to the pen and smiling
in spite of himself at the affected embarrassment of the schoolmasters
daughter »perhaps I can supply his place«
Miss Squeers glanced at the door as if dubious of the propriety of
advancing any nearer to an utter stranger then round the schoolroom as though
in some measure reassured by the presence of forty boys and finally sidled up
to Nicholas and delivered the pen into his hand with a most winning mixture of
reserve and condescension
»Shall it be a hard or a soft nib« inquired Nicholas smiling to prevent
himself from laughing outright
»He has a beautiful smile« thought Miss Squeers
»Which did you say« asked Nicholas
»Dear me I was thinking of something else for the moment I declare«
replied Miss Squeers »Oh as soft as possible if you please« With which
words Miss Squeers sighed It might be to give Nicholas to understand that her
heart was soft and that the pen was wanted to match
Upon these instructions Nicholas made the pen when he gave it to Miss
Squeers Miss Squeers dropped it and when he stooped to pick it up Miss
Squeers stooped also and they knocked their heads together whereat
fiveandtwenty little boys laughed aloud being positively for the first and
only time that half year
»Very awkward of me« said Nicholas opening the door for the young ladys
retreat
»Not at all sir« replied Miss Squeers »it was my fault It was all my
foolish a a good morning«
»Good bye« said Nicholas »The next I make for you I hope will be made
less clumsily Take care You are biting the nib off now«
»Really« said Miss Squeers »so embarrassing that I scarcely know what I
very sorry to give you so much trouble«
»Not the least trouble in the world« replied Nicholas closing the
schoolroom door
»I never saw such legs in the whole course of my life« said Miss Squeers
as she walked away
In fact Miss Squeers was in love with Nicholas Nickleby
To account for the rapidity with which this young lady had conceived a
passion for Nicholas it may be necessary to state that the friend from whom
she had so recently returned was a millers daughter of only eighteen who had
contracted herself unto the son of a small cornfactor resident in the nearest
market town Miss Squeers and the millers daughter being fast friends had
covenanted together some two years before according to a custom prevalent among
young ladies that whoever was first engaged to be married should straightway
confide the mighty secret to the bosom of the other before communicating it to
any living soul and bespeak her as bridesmaid without loss of time in
fulfilment of which pledge the millers daughter when her engagement was
formed came out express at eleven oclock at night as the cornfactors son
made an offer of his hand and heart at twentyfive minutes past ten by the Dutch
clock in the kitchen and rushed into Miss Squeerss bedroom with the
gratifying intelligence Now Miss Squeers being five years older and out of
her teens which is also a great matter had since been more than commonly
anxious to return the compliment and possess her friend with a similar secret
but either in consequence of finding it hard to please herself or harder still
to please any body else had never had an opportunity so to do inasmuch as she
had no such secret to disclose The little interview with Nicholas had no sooner
passed as above described however than Miss Squeers putting on her bonnet
made her way with great precipitation to her friends house and upon a
solemn renewal of divers old vows of secrecy revealed how that she was not
exactly engaged but going to be to a gentlemans son none of your
cornfactors but a gentlemans son of high descent who had come down as
teacher to Dotheboys Hall under most mysterious and remarkable circumstances
indeed as Miss Squeers more than once hinted she had good reason to believe
induced by the fame of her many charms to seek her out and woo and win her
»Isnt it an extraordinary thing« said Miss Squeers emphasising the
adjective strongly
»Most extraordinary« replied the friend »But what has he said to you«
»Dont ask me what he said my dear« rejoined Miss Squeers »If you had
only seen his looks and smiles I never was so overcome in all my life«
»Did he look in this way« inquired the millers daughter counterfeiting
as nearly as she could a favourite leer of the cornfactor
»Very like that only more genteel« replied Miss Squeers
»Ah« said the friend »then he means something depend on it«
Miss Squeers having slight misgivings on the subject was by no means ill
pleased to be confirmed by a competent authority and discovering on further
conversation and comparison of notes a great many points of resemblance between
the behaviour of Nicholas and that of the cornfactor grew so exceedingly
confidential that she intrusted her friend with a vast number of things
Nicholas had not said which were all so very complimentary as to be quite
conclusive Then she dilated on the fearful hardship of having a father and
mother strenuously opposed to her intended husband on which unhappy
circumstance she dwelt at great length for the friends father and mother were
quite agreeable to her being married and the whole courtship was in consequence
as flat and commonplace an affair as it was possible to imagine
»How I should like to see him« exclaimed the friend
»So you shall Tilda« replied Miss Squeers »I should consider myself one
of the most ungrateful creatures alive if I denied you I think mothers going
away for two days to fetch some boys and when she does Ill ask you and John
up to tea and have him to meet you«
This was a charming idea and having fully discussed it the friends parted
It so fell out that Mrs Squeerss journey to some distance to fetch
three new boys and dun the relations of two old ones for the balance of a small
account was fixed that very afternoon for the next day but one and on the
next day but one Mrs Squeers got up outside the coach as it stopped to change
at Greta Bridge taking with her a small bundle containing something in a bottle
and some sandwiches and carrying besides a large white top coat to wear in the
nighttime with which baggage she went her way
Whenever such opportunities as these occurred it was Squeerss custom to
drive over to the market town every evening on pretence of urgent business and
stop till ten or eleven oclock at a tavern he much affected As the party was
not in his way therefore but rather afforded a means of compromise with Miss
Squeers he readily yielded his full assent hereunto and willingly communicated
to Nicholas that he was expected to take his tea in the parlour that evening at
five oclock
To be sure Miss Squeers was in a desperate flutter as the time approached
and to be sure she was dressed out to the best advantage with her hair it had
more than a tinge of red and she wore it in a crop curled in five distinct
rows up to the very top of her head and arranged dexterously over the doubtful
eye to say nothing of the blue sash which floated down her back or the worked
apron or the long gloves or the green gauze scarf worn over one shoulder and
under the other or any of the numerous devices which were to be as so many
arrows to the heart of Nicholas She had scarcely completed these arrangements
to her entire satisfaction when the friend arrived with a whiteybrown parcel
flat and threecornered containing sundry small adornments which were to be
put on up stairs and which the friend put on talking incessantly When Miss
Squeers had done the friends hair the friend did Miss Squeerss hair throwing
in some striking improvements in the way of ringlets down the neck and then
when they were both touched up to their entire satisfaction they went down
stairs in full state with the long gloves on all ready for company
»Wheres John Tilda« said Miss Squeers
»Only gone home to clean himself« replied the friend »He will be here by
the time the teas drawn«
»I do so palpitate« observed Miss Squeers
»Ah I know what it is« replied the friend
»I have not been used to it you know Tilda« said Miss Squeers applying
her hand to the left side of her sash
»Youll soon get the better of it dear« rejoined the friend While they
were talking thus the hungry servant brought in the tea things and soon
afterwards somebody tapped at the room door
»There he is« cried Miss Squeers »Oh Tilda«
»Hush« said Tilda »Hem Say come in«
»Come in« cried Miss Squeers faintly And in walked Nicholas
»Good evening« said that young gentleman all unconscious of his conquest
»I understood from Mr Squeers that «
»Oh yes its all right« interposed Miss Squeers »Father dont tea with
us but you wont mind that I dare say« This was said archly
Nicholas opened his eyes at this but he turned the matter off very coolly
not caring particularly about anything just then and went through the
ceremony of introduction to the millers daughter with so much grace that that
young lady was lost in admiration
»We are only waiting for one more gentleman« said Miss Squeers taking off
the teapot lid and looking in to see how the tea was getting on
It was matter of equal moment to Nicholas whether they were waiting for one
gentleman or twenty so he received the intelligence with perfect unconcern
and being out of spirits and not seeing any especial reason why he should make
himself agreeable looked out of the window and sighed involuntarily
As luck would have it Miss Squeerss friend was of a playful turn and
hearing Nicholas sigh she took it into her head to rally the lovers on their
lowness of spirits
»But if its caused by my being here« said the young lady »dont mind me a
bit for Im quite as bad You may go on just as you would if you were alone«
»Tilda« said Miss Squeers colouring up to the top row of curls »I am
ashamed of you« and here the two friends burst into a variety of giggles and
glanced from time to time over the tops of their pockethandkerchiefs at
Nicholas who from a state of unmixed astonishment gradually fell into one of
irrepressible laughter occasioned partly by the bare notion of his being in
love with Miss Squeers and partly by the preposterous appearance and behaviour
of the two girls These two causes of merriment taken together struck him as
being so keenly ridiculous that despite his miserable condition he laughed
till he was thoroughly exhausted
»Well« thought Nicholas »as I am here and seem expected for some reason
or other to be amiable its of no use looking like a goose I may as well
accommodate myself to the company«
We blush to tell it but his youthful spirits and vivacity getting for a
time the better of his sad thoughts he no sooner formed this resolution than
he saluted Miss Squeers and the friend with great gallantry and drawing a
chair to the teatable began to make himself more at home than in all
probability an usher has ever done in his employers house since ushers were
first invented
The ladies were in the full delight of this altered behaviour on the part of
Mr Nickleby when the expected swain arrived with his hair very damp from
recent washing and a clean shirt whereof the collar might have belonged to
some giant ancestor forming together with a white waistcoat of similar
dimensions the chief ornament of his person
»Well John« said Miss Matilda Price which bythebye was the name of
the millers daughter
»Weel« said John with a grin that even the collar could not conceal
»I beg your pardon« interposed Miss Squeers hastening to do the honours
»Mr Nickleby Mr John Browdie«
»Servant sir« said John who was something over six feet high with a face
and body rather above the due proportion than below it
»Yours to command sir« replied Nicholas making fearful ravages on the
bread and butter
Mr Browdie was not a gentleman of great conversational powers so he
grinned twice more and having now bestowed his customary mark of recognition on
every person in company grinned at nothing particular and helped himself to
food
»Old wooman awa beant she« said Mr Browdie with his mouth full
Miss Squeers nodded assent
Mr Browdie gave a grin of special width as if he thought that really was
something to laugh at and went to work at the bread and butter with increased
vigour It was quite a sight to behold how he and Nicholas emptied the plate
between them
»Ye weant get bread and butther every neight I expect mun« said Mr
Browdie after he had sat staring at Nicholas a long time over the empty plate
Nicholas bit his lip and coloured but affected not to hear the remark
»Ecod« said Mr Browdie laughing boisterously »they deant put too much
intivem Yell be nowt but skeen and boans if you stop here long eneaf Ho ho
ho«
»You are facetious sir« said Nicholas scornfully
»Na I deant know« replied Mr Browdie »but toother teacher cod he wur
a learn un he wur« The recollection of the last teachers leanness seemed to
afford Mr Browdie the most exquisite delight for he laughed until he found it
necessary to apply his coatcuffs to his eyes
»I dont know whether your perceptions are quite keen enough Mr Browdie
to enable you to understand that your remarks are offensive« said Nicholas in a
towering passion »but if they are have the goodness to «
»If you say another word John« shrieked Miss Price stopping her admirers
mouth as he was about to interrupt »only half a word Ill never forgive you
or speak to you again«
»Weel my lass I deant care aboot un« said the cornfactor bestowing a
hearty kiss on Miss Matilda »let un gang on let un gang on«
It now became Miss Squeerss turn to intercede with Nicholas which she did
with many symptoms of alarm and horror the effect of the double intercession
was that he and John Browdie shook hands across the table with much gravity
and such was the imposing nature of the ceremonial that Miss Squeers was
overcome and shed tears
»Whats the matter Fanny« said Miss Price
»Nothing Tilda« replied Miss Squeers sobbing
»There never was any danger« said Miss Price »was there Mr Nickleby«
»None at all« replied Nicholas »Absurd«
»Thats right« whispered Miss Price »say something kind to her and shell
soon come round Here Shall John and I go into the little kitchen and come
back presently«
»Not on any account« rejoined Nicholas quite alarmed at the proposition.
»What on earth should you do that for«
»Well« said Miss Price beckoning him aside and speaking with some degree
of contempt »you are a one to keep company«
»What do you mean« said Nicholas »I am not a one to keep company at all
here at all events I cant make this out«
»No nor I neither« rejoined Miss Price »but men are always fickle and
always were and always will be that I can make out very easily«
»Fickle« cried Nicholas »what do you suppose You dont mean to say that
you think «
»Oh no I think nothing at all« retorted Miss Price pettishly »Look at
her dressed so beautiful and looking so well really almost handsome I am
ashamed at you«
»My dear girl what have I got to do with her dressing beautifully or
looking well« inquired Nicholas
»Come dont call me a dear girl« said Miss Price smiling a little
though for she was pretty and a coquette too in her small way and Nicholas
was goodlooking and she supposed him the property of somebody else which were
all reasons why she should be gratified to think she had made an impression on
him »or Fanny will be saying its my fault Come were going to have a game
at cards« Pronouncing these last words aloud she tripped away and rejoined the
big Yorkshireman
This was wholly unintelligible to Nicholas who had no other distinct
impression on his mind at the moment than that Miss Squeers was an
ordinarylooking girl and her friend Miss Price a pretty one but he had not
time to enlighten himself by reflection for the hearth being by this time swept
up and the candle snuffed they sat down to play speculation
»There are only four of us Tilda« said Miss Squeers looking slyly at
Nicholas »so we had better go partners two against two«
»What do you say Mr Nickleby« inquired Miss Price
»With all the pleasure in life« replied Nicholas And so saying quite
unconscious of his heinous offence he amalgamated into one common heap those
portions of a Dotheboys Hall card of terms which represented his own counters
and those allotted to Miss Price respectively
»Mr Browdie« said Miss Squeers hysterically »shall we make a bank against
them«
The Yorkshireman assented apparently quite overwhelmed by the new ushers
impudence and Miss Squeers darted a spiteful look at her friend and giggled
convulsively
The deal fell to Nicholas and the hand prospered
»We intend to win everything« said he
»Tilda has won something she didnt expect I think havent you dear«
said Miss Squeers maliciously
»Only a dozen and eight love« replied Miss Price affecting to take the
question in a literal sense
»How dull you are tonight« sneered Miss Squeers
»No indeed« replied Miss Price »I am in excellent spirits I was thinking
you seemed out of sorts«
»Me« cried Miss Squeers biting her lips and trembling with very jealousy
»Oh no«
»Thats well« remarked Miss Price »Your hairs coming out of curl dear«
»Never mind me« tittered Miss Squeers »you had better attend to your
partner«
»Thank you for reminding her« said Nicholas »So she had«
The Yorkshireman flattened his nose once or twice with his clenched fist
as if to keep his hand in till he had an opportunity of exercising it upon the
features of some other gentleman and Miss Squeers tossed her head with such
indignation that the gust of wind raised by the multitudinous curls in motion
nearly blew the candle out
»I never had such luck really« exclaimed coquettish Miss Price after
another hand or two »Its all along of you Mr Nickleby I think I should
like to have you for a partner always«
»I wish you had«
»Youll have a bad wife though if you always win at cards« said Miss
Price
»Not if your wish is gratified« replied Nicholas »I am sure I shall have a
good one in that case«
To see how Miss Squeers tossed her head and the cornfactor flattened his
nose while this conversation was carrying on It would have been worth a small
annuity to have beheld that let alone Miss Prices evident joy at making them
jealous and Nicholas Nicklebys happy unconsciousness of making anybody
uncomfortable
»We have all the talking to ourselves it seems« said Nicholas looking
goodhumouredly round the table as he took up the cards for a fresh deal
»You do it so well« tittered Miss Squeers »that it would be a pity to
interrupt wouldnt it Mr Browdie He he he«
»Nay« said Nicholas »we do it in default of having anybody else to talk
to«
»Well talk to you you know if youll say anything« said Miss Price
»Thank you Tilda dear« retorted Miss Squeers majestically
»Or you can talk to each other if you dont choose to talk to us« said
Miss Price rallying her dear friend »John why dont you say something«
»Say summat« repeated the Yorkshireman
»Ay and not sit there so silent and glum«
»Weel then« said the Yorkshireman striking the table heavily with his
fist »what I says this Dang my boans and boddy if I stan this ony longer
Do ye gang whoam wi me and do yon loight an toight young whipster look sharp
out for a brokken head next time he cums under my hond«
»Mercy on us whats all this« cried Miss Price in affected astonishment
»Cum whoam tell e cum whoam« replied the Yorkshireman sternly And as
he delivered the reply Miss Squeers burst into a shower of tears arising in
part from desperate vexation and in part from an impotent desire to lacerate
somebodys countenance with her fair fingernails
This state of things had been brought about by divers means and workings
Miss Squeers had brought it about by aspiring to the high state and condition
of being matrimonially engaged without good grounds for so doing Miss Price
had brought it about by indulging in three motives of action first a desire to
punish her friend for laying claim to a rivalship in dignity having no good
title secondly the gratification of her own vanity in receiving the
compliments of a smart young man and thirdly a wish to convince the
cornfactor of the great danger he ran in deferring the celebration of their
expected nuptials while Nicholas had brought it about by half an hours gaiety
and thoughtlessness and a very sincere desire to avoid the imputation of
inclining at all to Miss Squeers So the means employed and the end produced
were alike the most natural in the world for young ladies will look forward to
being married and will jostle each other in the race to the altar and will
avail themselves of all opportunities of displaying their own attractions to the
best advantage down to the very end of time as they have done from its
beginning
»Why and heres Fanny in tears now« exclaimed Miss Price as if in fresh
amazement »What can be the matter«
»Oh you dont know Miss of course you dont know Pray dont trouble
yourself to inquire« said Miss Squeers producing that change of countenance
which children call making a face
»Well Im sure« exclaimed Miss Price
»And who cares whether you are sure or not maam« retorted Miss Squeers
making another face
»You are monstrous polite maam« said Miss Price
»I shall not come to you to take lessons in the art maam« retorted Miss
Squeers
»You neednt take the trouble to make yourself plainer than you are maam
however« rejoined Miss Price »because thats quite unnecessary«
Miss Squeers in reply turned very red and thanked God that she hadnt got
the bold faces of some people Miss Price in rejoinder congratulated herself
upon not being possessed of the envious feeling of other people whereupon Miss
Squeers made some general remark touching the danger of associating with low
persons in which Miss Price entirely coincided observing that it was very true
indeed and she had thought so a long time
»Tilda« exclaimed Miss Squeers with dignity »I hate you«
»Ah Theres no love lost between us I assure you« said Miss Price tying
her bonnet strings with a jerk »Youll cry your eyes out when Im gone you
know you will«
»I scorn your words Minx« said Miss Squeers
»You pay me a great compliment when you say so« answered the millers
daughter curtseying very low »Wish you a very good night maam and pleasant
dreams attend your sleep«
With this parting benediction Miss Price swept from the room followed by
the huge Yorkshireman who exchanged with Nicholas at parting that peculiarly
expressive scowl with which the cutandthrust counts in melodramatic
performances inform each other they will meet again
They were no sooner gone than Miss Squeers fulfilled the prediction of her
quondam friend by giving vent to a most copious burst of tears and uttering
various dismal lamentations and incoherent words Nicholas stood looking on for
a few seconds rather doubtful what to do but feeling uncertain whether the fit
would end in his being embraced or scratched and considering that either
infliction would be equally agreeable he walked off very quietly while Miss
Squeers was moaning in her pockethandkerchief
»This is one consequence« thought Nicholas when he had groped his way to
the dark sleepingroom »of my cursed readiness to adapt myself to any society
in which chance carries me If I had sat mute and motionless as I might have
done this would not have happened«
He listened for a few minutes but all was quiet
»I was glad« he murmured »to grasp at any relief from the sight of this
dreadful place or the presence of its vile master I have set these people by
the ears and made two new enemies where Heaven knows I needed none Well it
is a just punishment for having forgotten even for an hour what is around me
now«
So saying he felt his way among the throng of wearyhearted sleepers and
crept into his poor bed
Chapter X
How Mr Ralph Nickleby Provided for His Niece and SisterinLaw
On the second morning after the departure of Nicholas for Yorkshire Kate
Nickleby sat in a very faded chair raised upon a very dusty throne in Miss La
Creevys room giving that lady a sitting for the portrait upon which she was
engaged and towards the full perfection of which Miss La Creevy had had the
streetdoor case brought up stairs in order that she might be the better able
to infuse into the counterfeit countenance of Miss Nickleby a bright salmon
fleshtint which she had originally hit upon while executing the miniature of a
young officer therein contained and which bright salmon fleshtint was
considered by Miss La Creevys chief friends and patrons to be quite a novelty
in art as indeed it was
»I think I have caught it now« said Miss La Creevy »The very shade This
will be the sweetest portrait I have ever done certainly«
»It will be your genius that makes it so then I am sure« replied Kate
smiling
»No no I wont allow that my dear« rejoined Miss La Creevy »Its a very
nice subject a very nice subject indeed though of course something depends
upon the mode of treatment«
»And not a little« observed Kate
»Why my dear you are right there« said Miss La Creevy »in the main you
are right there though I dont allow that it is of such very great importance
in the present case Ah The difficulties of Art my dear are great«
»They must be I have no doubt« said Kate humouring her goodnatured
little friend
»They are beyond anything you can form the faintest conception of,« replied
Miss La Creevy »What with bringing out eyes with all ones power and keeping
down noses with all ones force and adding to heads and taking away teeth
altogether you have no idea of the trouble one little miniature is«
»The remuneration can scarcely repay you« said Kate
»Why it does not and thats the truth« answered Miss La Creevy »and then
people are so dissatisfied and unreasonable that nine times out of ten
theres no pleasure in painting them Sometimes they say Oh how very serious
you have made me look Miss La Creevy and at others La Miss La Creevy how
very smirking when the very essence of a good portrait is that it must be
either serious or smirking or its no portrait at all«
»Indeed« said Kate laughing
»Certainly my dear because the sitters are always either the one or the
other« replied Miss La Creevy »Look at the Royal Academy All those beautiful
shiny portraits of gentlemen in black velvet waistcoats with their fists
doubled up on round tables or marble slabs are serious you know and all the
ladies who are playing with little parasols or little dogs or little children
its the same rule in art only varying the objects are smirking In fact«
said Miss La Creevy sinking her voice to a confidential whisper »there are
only two styles of portrait painting the serious and the smirk and we always
use the serious for professional people except actors sometimes and the smirk
for private ladies and gentlemen who dont care so much about looking clever«
Kate seemed highly amused by this information and Miss La Creevy went on
painting and talking with immovable complacency
»What a number of officers you seem to paint« said Kate availing herself
of a pause in the discourse and glancing round the room
»Number of what child« inquired Miss La Creevy looking up from her work
»Character portraits oh yes theyre not real military men you know«
»No«
»Bless your heart of course not only clerks and that who hire a uniform
coat to be painted in and send it here in a carpet bag Some artists« said Miss
La Creevy »keep a red coat and charge sevenandsixpence extra for hire and
carmine but I dont do that myself for I dont consider it legitimate«
Drawing herself up as though she plumed herself greatly upon not resorting
to these lures to catch sitters Miss La Creevy applied herself more intently
to her task only raising her head occasionally to look with unspeakable
satisfaction at some touch she had just put in and now and then giving Miss
Nickleby to understand what particular features she was at work upon at the
moment not she expressly observed »that you should make it up for painting
my dear but because its our custom sometimes to tell sitters what part we are
upon in order that if theres any particular expression they want introduced
they may throw it in at the time you know«
»And when« said Miss La Creevy after a long silence to wit an interval
of full a minute and a half »when do you expect to see your uncle again«
»I scarcely know I had expected to have seen him before now« replied Kate
»Soon I hope for this state of uncertainty is worse than anything«
»I suppose he has money hasnt he« inquired Miss La Creevy
»He is very rich I have heard« rejoined Kate »I dont know that he is
but I believe so«
»Ah you may depend upon it he is or he wouldnt be so surly« remarked
Miss La Creevy who was an odd little mixture of shrewdness and simplicity
»When a mans a bear he is generally pretty independent«
»His manner is rough« said Kate
»Rough« cried Miss La Creevy »a porcupines a featherbed to him I never
met with such a crossgrained old savage«
»It is only his manner I believe« observed Kate timidly »he was
disappointed in early life I think I have heard or has had his temper soured
by some calamity I should be sorry to think ill of him until I knew he deserved
it«
»Well thats very right and proper« observed the miniature painter »and
Heaven forbid that I should be the cause of your doing so But now mightnt
he without feeling it himself make you and your mama some nice little
allowance that would keep you both comfortable until you were well married and
be a little fortune to her afterwards What would a hundred a year for
instance be to him«
»I dont know what it would be to him« said Kate with energy »but it
would be that to me I would rather die than take«
»Heyday« cried Miss La Creevy
»A dependence upon him« said Kate »would embitter my whole life I should
feel begging a far less degradation«
»Well« exclaimed Miss La Creevy »This of a relation whom you will not hear
an indifferent person speak ill of my dear sounds oddly enough I confess«
»I dare say it does« replied Kate speaking more gently »indeed I am sure
it must I I only mean that with the feelings and recollection of better
times upon me I could not bear to live on anybodys bounty not his
particularly but anybodys«
Miss La Creevy looked slyly at her companion as if she doubted whether
Ralph himself were not the subject of dislike but seeing that her young friend
was distressed made no remark
»I only ask of him« continued Kate whose tears fell while she spoke »that
he will move so little out of his way in my behalf as to enable me by his
recommendation only by his recommendation to earn literally my bread and
remain with my mother Whether we shall ever taste happiness again depends upon
the fortunes of my dear brother but if he will do this and Nicholas only tells
us that he is well and cheerful I shall be contented«
As she ceased to speak there was a rustling behind the screen which stood
between her and the door and some person knocked at the wainscot
»Come in whoever it is« cried Miss La Creevy
The person complied and coming forward at once gave to view the form and
features of no less an individual than Mr Ralph Nickleby himself
»Your servant ladies« said Ralph looking sharply at them by turns »You
were talking so loud that I was unable to make you hear«
When the man of business had a more than commonly vicious snarl lurking at
his heart he had a trick of almost concealing his eyes under their thick and
protruding brows for an instant and then displaying them in their full
keenness As he did so now and tried to keep down the smile which parted his
thin compressed lips and puckered up the bad lines about his mouth they both
felt certain that some part if not the whole of their recent conversation had
been overheard
»I called in on my way up stairs more than half expecting to find you
here« said Ralph addressing his niece and looking contemptuously at the
portrait »Is that my nieces portrait maam«
»Yes it is Mr Nickleby« said Miss La Creevy with a very sprightly air
»and between you and me and the post sir it will be a very nice portrait too
though I say it who am the painter«
»Dont trouble yourself to show it to me maam« cried Ralph moving away
»I have no eye for likenesses Is it nearly finished«
»Why yes« replied Miss La Creevy considering with the pencil end of her
brush in her mouth »Two sittings more will «
»Have them at once maam« said Ralph »Shell have no time to idle over
fooleries after tomorrow Work maam work we must all work Have you let
your lodgings maam«
»I have not put a bill up yet sir«
»Put it up at once maam they wont want the rooms after this week or if
they do cant pay for them Now my dear if youre ready well lose no more
time«
With an assumption of kindness which sat worse upon him even than his usual
manner Mr Ralph Nickleby motioned to the young lady to precede him and bowing
gravely to Miss La Creevy closed the door and followed up stairs where Mrs
Nickleby received him with many expressions of regard Stopping them somewhat
abruptly Ralph waved his hand with an impatient gesture and proceeded to the
object of his visit
»I have found a situation for your daughter maam« said Ralph
»Well« replied Mrs Nickleby »Now I will say that that is only just what
I have expected of you Depend upon it I said to Kate only yesterday morning
at breakfast that after your uncle has provided in that most ready manner for
Nicholas he will not leave us until he has done at least the same for you
These were my very words as near as I remember Kate my dear why dont you
thank your «
»Let me proceed maam pray« said Ralph interrupting his sisterinlaw in
the full torrent of her discourse
»Kate my love let your uncle proceed« said Mrs Nickleby
»I am most anxious that he should mama« rejoined Kate
»Well my dear if you are anxious that he should you had better allow your
uncle to say what he has to say without interruption« observed Mrs Nickleby
with many small nods and frowns »Your uncles time is very valuable my dear
and however desirous you may be and naturally desirous as I am sure any
affectionate relations who have seen so little of your uncle as we have must
naturally be to protract the pleasure of having him among us still we are
bound not to be selfish but to take into consideration the important nature of
his occupations in the city«
»I am very much obliged to you maam« said Ralph with a scarcely
perceptible sneer »An absence of business habits in this family leads
apparently to a great waste of words before business when it does come under
consideration is arrived at at all«
»I fear it is so indeed« replied Mrs Nickleby with a sigh »Your poor
brother «
»My poor brother maam« interposed Ralph tartly »had no idea what
business was was unacquainted I verily believe with the very meaning of the
word«
»I fear he was« said Mrs Nickleby with her handkerchief to her eyes »If
it hadnt been for me I dont know what would have become of him«
What strange creatures we are The slight bait so skilfully thrown out by
Ralph on their first interview was dangling on the hook yet At every small
deprivation or discomfort which presented itself in the course of the
fourandtwenty hours to remind her of her straitened and altered circumstances
peevish visions of her dower of one thousand pounds had arisen before Mrs
Nicklebys mind until at last she had come to persuade herself that of all
her late husbands creditors she was the worst used and the most to be pitied
And yet she had loved him dearly for many years and had no greater share of
selfishness than is the usual lot of mortals Such is the irritability of sudden
poverty A decent annuity would have restored her thoughts to their old train
at once
»Repining is of no use maam« said Ralph »Of all fruitless errands
sending a tear to look after a day that is gone is the most fruitless«
»So it is« sobbed Mrs Nickleby »So it is«
»As you feel so keenly in your own purse and person the consequences of
inattention to business maam« said Ralph »I am sure you will impress upon
your children the necessity of attaching themselves to it early in life«
»Of course I must see that« rejoined Mrs Nickleby »Sad experience you
know brotherinlaw Kate my dear put that down in the next letter to
Nicholas or remind me to do it if I write«
Ralph paused for a few moments and seeing that he had now made pretty sure
of the mother in case the daughter objected to his proposition went on to say
»The situation that I have made interest to procure maam is with with a
milliner and dressmaker in short«
»A milliner« cried Mrs Nickleby
»A milliner and dressmaker maam« replied Ralph »Dressmakers in London
as I need not remind you maam who are so well acquainted with all matters in
the ordinary routine of life make large fortunes keep equipages and become
persons of great wealth and fortune«
Now the first ideas called up in Mrs Nicklebys mind by the words milliner
and dressmaker were connected with certain wicker baskets lined with black
oilskin which she remembered to have seen carried to and fro in the streets
but as Ralph proceeded these disappeared and were replaced by visions of
large houses at the West end neat private carriages and a bankers book all
of which images succeeded each other with such rapidity that he had no sooner
finished speaking than she nodded her head and said »Very true« with great
appearance of satisfaction
»What your uncle says is very true Kate my dear« said Mrs Nickleby »I
recollect when your poor papa and I came to town after we were married that a
young lady brought me home a chip cottagebonnet with white and green trimming
and green persian lining in her own carriage which drove up to the door full
gallop at least I am not quite certain whether it was her own carriage or a
hackney chariot but I remember very well that the horse dropped down dead as he
was turning round and that your poor papa said he hadnt had any corn for a
fortnight«
This anecdote so strikingly illustrative of the opulence of milliners was
not received with any great demonstration of feeling inasmuch as Kate hung down
her head while it was relating and Ralph manifested very intelligible symptoms
of extreme impatience
»The ladys name« said Ralph hastily striking in »is Mantalini Madame
Mantalini I know her She lives near Cavendish Square If your daughter is
disposed to try after the situation Ill take her there directly«
»Have you nothing to say to your uncle my love« inquired Mrs Nickleby
»A great deal« replied Kate »but not now I would rather speak to him when
we are alone it will save his time if I thank him and say what I wish to say
to him as we walk along«
With these words Kate hurried away to hide the traces of emotion that were
stealing down her face and to prepare herself for the walk while Mrs Nickleby
amused her brotherinlaw by giving him with many tears a detailed account of
the dimensions of a rosewood cabinet piano they had possessed in their days of
affluence together with a minute description of eight drawingroom chairs with
turned legs and green chintz squabs to match the curtains which had cost two
pounds fifteen shillings apiece and had gone at the sale for a mere nothing
These reminiscences were at length cut short by Kates return in her walking
dress when Ralph who had been fretting and fuming during the whole time of her
absence lost no time and used very little ceremony in descending into the
street
»Now« he said taking her arm »walk as fast as you can and youll get
into the step that youll have to walk to business with every morning« So
saying he led Kate off at a good round pace towards Cavendish Square
»I am very much obliged to you uncle« said the young lady after they had
hurried on in silence for some time very
»Im glad to hear it« said Ralph »I hope youll do your duty«
»I will try to please uncle« replied Kate »indeed I «
»Dont begin to cry« growled Ralph »I hate crying«
»Its very foolish I know uncle« began poor Kate
»It is« replied Ralph stopping her short »and very affected besides Let
me see no more of it«
Perhaps this was not the best way to dry the tears of a young and sensitive
female about to make her first entry on an entirely new scene of life among
cold and uninterested strangers but it had its effect notwithstanding Kate
coloured deeply breathed quickly for a few moments and then walked on with a
firmer and more determined step
It was a curious contrast to see how the timid country girl shrunk through
the crowd that hurried up and down the streets giving way to the press of
people and clinging closely to Ralph as though she feared to lose him in the
throng and how the stern and hardfeatured man of business went doggedly on
elbowing the passengers aside and now and then exchanging a gruff salutation
with some passing acquaintance who turned to look back upon his pretty charge
with looks expressive of surprise and seemed to wonder at the illassorted
companionship But it would have been a stranger contrast still to have read
the hearts that were beating side by side to have laid bare the gentle
innocence of the one and the rugged villany of the other to have hung upon the
guileless thoughts of the affectionate girl and been amazed that among all the
wily plots and calculations of the old man there should not be one word or
figure denoting thought of death or of the grave But so it was and stranger
still though this is a thing of every day the warm young heart palpitated
with a thousand anxieties and apprehensions while that of the old worldly man
lay rusting in its cell beating only as a piece of cunning mechanism and
yielding no one throb of hope or fear or love or care for any living thing
»Uncle« said Kate when she judged they must be near their destination »I
must ask one question of you I am to live at home«
»At home« replied Ralph »wheres that«
»I mean with my mother the widow« said Kate emphatically
»You will live to all intents and purposes here« rejoined Ralph »for
here you will take your meals and here you will be from morning till night
occasionally perhaps till morning again«
»But at night I mean« said Kate »I cannot leave her uncle I must have
some place that I can call a home it will be wherever she is you know and may
be a very humble one«
»May be« said Ralph walking faster in the impatience provoked by the
remark »must be you mean May be a humble one Is the girl mad«
»The word slipped from my lips I did not mean it indeed« urged Kate
»I hope not« said Ralph
»But my question uncle you have not answered it«
»Why I anticipated something of the kind« said Ralph »and though I
object very strongly mind have provided against it I spoke of you as an
outofdoor worker so you will go to this home that may be humble every
night«
There was comfort in this Kate poured forth many thanks for her uncles
consideration which Ralph received as if he had deserved them all and they
arrived without any further conversation at the dressmakers door which
displayed a very large plate with Madame Mantalinis name and occupation and
was approached by a handsome flight of steps There was a shop to the house but
it was let off to an importer of otto of roses Madame Mantalinis showrooms
were on the first floor a fact which was notified to the nobility and gentry
by the casual exhibition near the handsomely curtained windows of two or three
elegant bonnets of the newest fashion and some costly garments in the most
approved taste
A liveried footman opened the door and in reply to Ralphs inquiry whether
Madame Mantalini was at home ushered them through a handsome hall and up a
spacious staircase into the show saloon which comprised two spacious
drawingrooms and exhibited an immense variety of superb dresses and materials
for dresses some arranged on stands others laid carelessly on sofas and
others again scattered over the carpet hanging on the cheval glasses or
mingling in some other way with the rich furniture of various descriptions
which was profusely displayed
They waited here a much longer time than was agreeable to Mr Ralph
Nickleby who eyed the gaudy frippery about him with very little concern and
was at length about to pull the bell when a gentleman suddenly popped his head
into the room and seeing somebody there as suddenly popped it out again
»Here Hollo« cried Ralph »Whos that«
At the sound of Ralphs voice the head reappeared and the mouth
displaying a very long row of very white teeth uttered in a mincing tone the
words »Demmit What Nickleby oh demmit« Having uttered which ejaculations
the gentleman advanced and shook hands with Ralph with great warmth He was
dressed in a gorgeous morning gown with a waistcoat and Turkish trousers of the
same pattern a pink silk neckerchief and bright green slippers and had a very
copious watchchain wound round his body Moreover he had whiskers and a
moustache both dyed black and gracefully curled
»Demmit you dont mean to say you want me do you demmit« said this
gentleman smiting Ralph on the shoulder
»Not yet« said Ralph sarcastically
»Ha ha demmit« cried the gentleman when wheeling round to laugh with
greater elegance he encountered Kate Nickleby who was standing near
»My niece« said Ralph
»I remember« said the gentleman striking his nose with the knuckle of his
forefinger as a chastening for his forgetfulness »Demmit I remember what you
come for Step this way Nickleby my dear will you follow me Ha ha They all
follow me Nickleby always did demmit always«
Giving loose to the playfulness of his imagination after this fashion the
gentleman led the way to a private sittingroom on the second floor scarcely
less elegantly furnished than the apartment below where the presence of a
silver coffeepot an eggshell and sloppy china for one seemed to show that
he had just breakfasted
»Sit down my dear« said the gentleman first staring Miss Nickleby out of
countenance and then grinning in delight at the achievement »This cursed high
room takes ones breath away These infernal sky parlours Im afraid I must
move Nickleby«
»I would by all means« replied Ralph looking bitterly round
»What a demd rum fellow you are Nickleby« said the gentleman »the
demdest longestheaded queeresttempered old coiner of gold and silver ever
was demmit«
Having complimented Ralph to this effect the gentleman rang the bell and
stared at Miss Nickleby until it was answered when he left off to bid the man
desire his mistress to come directly after which he began again and left off
no more until Madame Mantalini appeared
The dressmaker was a buxom person handsomely dressed and rather
goodlooking but much older than the gentleman in the Turkish trousers whom
she had wedded some six months before His name was originally Muntle but it
had been converted by an easy transition into Mantalini the lady rightly
considering that an English appellation would be of serious injury to the
business He had married on his whiskers upon which property he had previously
subsisted in a genteel manner for some years and which he had recently
improved after patient cultivation by the addition of a moustache which
promised to secure him an easy independence his share in the labours of the
business being at present confined to spending the money and occasionally when
that ran short driving to Mr Ralph Nickleby to procure discount at a
percentage for the customers bills
»My life« said Mr Mantalini »what a demd devil of a time you have been«
»I didnt even know Mr Nickleby was here my love« said Madame Mantalini
»Then what a doubly demd infernal rascal that footman must be my soul«
remonstrated Mr Mantalini
»My dear« said Madame »that is entirely your fault«
»My fault my hearts joy«
»Certainly« returned the lady »what can you expect dearest if you will
not correct the man«
»Correct the man my souls delight«
»Yes I am sure he wants speaking to badly enough« said Madame pouting
»Then do not vex itself« said Mr Mantalini »he shall be horsewhipped
till he cries out demnebly« With this promise Mr Mantalini kissed Madame
Mantalini and after that performance Madame Mantalini pulled Mr Mantalini
playfully by the ear which done they descended to business
»Now maam« said Ralph who had looked on at all this with such scorn as
few men can express in looks »this is my niece«
»Just so Mr Nickleby« replied Madame Mantalini surveying Kate from head
to foot and back again »Can you speak French child«
»Yes maam« replied Kate not daring to look up for she felt that the
eyes of the odious man in the dressinggown were directed towards her
»Like a demd native« asked the husband
Miss Nickleby offered no reply to this inquiry but turned her back upon the
questioner as if addressing herself to make answer to what his wife might
demand
»We keep twenty young women constantly employed in the establishment« said
Madame
»Indeed maam« replied Kate timidly
»Yes and some of em demd handsome too« said the master
»Mantalini« exclaimed his wife in an awful voice
»My senses idol« said Mantalini
»Do you wish to break my heart«
»Not for twenty thousand hemispheres populated with with with little
balletdancers« replied Mantalini in a poetical strain
»Then you will if you persevere in that mode of speaking« said his wife
»What can Mr Nickleby think when he hears you«
»Oh Nothing maam nothing« replied Ralph »I know his amiable nature
and yours mere little remarks that give a zest to your daily intercourse
lovers quarrels that add sweetness to those domestic joys which promise to last
so long thats all thats all«
If an iron door could be supposed to quarrel with its hinges and to make a
firm resolution to open with slow obstinacy and grind them to powder in the
process, it would emit a pleasanter sound in so doing than did these words in
the rough and bitter voice in which they were uttered by Ralph Even Mr
Mantalini felt their influence and turning affrighted round exclaimed »What a
demd horrid croaking«
»You will pay no attention if you please to what Mr Mantalini says«
observed his wife addressing Miss Nickleby
»I do not maam« said Kate with quiet contempt
»Mr Mantalini knows nothing whatever about any of the young women«
continued Madame looking at her husband and speaking to Kate »If he has seen
any of them he must have seen them in the street going to or returning from
their work and not here He was never even in the room I do not allow it What
hours of work have you been accustomed to«
»I have never yet been accustomed to work at all maam« replied Kate in a
low voice
»For which reason shell work all the better now« said Ralph putting in a
word lest this confession should injure the negotiation
»I hope so« returned Madame Mantalini »our hours are from nine to nine
with extra work when were very full of business for which I allow payment as
overtime«
Kate bowed her head to intimate that she heard and was satisfied
»Your meals« continued Madame Mantalini »that is dinner and tea you will
take here I should think your wages would average from five to seven shillings
a week but I cant give you any certain information on that point until I see
what you can do«
Kate bowed her head again
»If youre ready to come« said Madame Mantalini »you had better begin on
Monday morning at nine exactly and Miss Knag the forewoman shall then have
directions to try you with some easy work at first Is there anything more Mr
Nickleby«
»Nothing more maam« replied Ralph rising
»Then I believe thats all« said the lady Having arrived at this natural
conclusion she looked at the door as if she wished to be gone but hesitated
notwithstanding as though unwilling to leave to Mr Mantalini the sole honour
of showing them down stairs Ralph relieved her from her perplexity by taking
his departure without delay Madame Mantalini making many gracious inquiries why
he never came to see them and Mr Mantalini anathematising the stairs with
great volubility as he followed them down in the hope of inducing Kate to look
round a hope however which was destined to remain ungratified
»There« said Ralph when they got into the street »now youre provided
for«
Kate was about to thank him again but he stopped her
»I had some idea« he said »of providing for your mother in a pleasant part
of the country he had a presentation to some almshouses on the borders of
Cornwall which had occurred to him more than once but as you want to be
together I must do something else for her She has a little money«
»A very little« replied Kate
»A little will go a long way if its used sparingly« said Ralph »She must
see how long she can make it last living rent free You leave your lodgings on
Saturday«
»You told us to do so uncle«
»Yes there is a house empty that belongs to me which I can put you into
till it is let and then if nothing else turns up perhaps I shall have
another You must live there«
»Is it far from here sir« inquired Kate
»Pretty well« said Ralph »in another quarter of the town at the East
end but Ill send my clerk down to you at five oclock on Saturday to take
you there Good bye You know your way Straight on«
Coldly shaking his nieces hand Ralph left her at the top of Regent Street
and turned down a bye thoroughfare intent on schemes of moneygetting Kate
walked sadly back to their lodgings in the Strand
Chapter XI
Newman Noggs Inducts Mrs and Miss Nickleby into Their New Dwelling in the City
Miss Nicklebys reflections as she wended her way homewards were of that
desponding nature which the occurrences of the morning had been sufficiently
calculated to awaken Her uncles was not a manner likely to dispel any doubts
or apprehensions she might have formed in the outset neither was the glimpse
she had had of Madame Mantalinis establishment by any means encouraging It
was with many gloomy forebodings and misgivings therefore that she looked
forward with a heavy heart to the opening of her new career
If her mothers consolations could have restored her to a pleasanter and
more enviable state of mind there were abundance of them to produce the effect
By the time Kate reached home the good lady had called to mind two authentic
cases of milliners who had been possessed of considerable property though
whether they had acquired it all in business or had had a capital to start
with or had been lucky and married to advantage she could not exactly
remember However as she very logically remarked there must have been some
young person in that way of business who had made a fortune without having
anything to begin with and that being taken for granted why should not Kate do
the same Miss La Creevy who was a member of the little council ventured to
insinuate some doubts relative to the probability of Miss Nicklebys arriving at
this happy consummation in the compass of an ordinary lifetime but the good
lady set that question entirely at rest by informing them that she had a
presentiment on the subject a species of secondsight with which she had been
in the habit of clenching every argument with the deceased Mr Nickleby and in
nine cases and three quarters out of every ten determining it the wrong way
»I am afraid it is an unhealthy occupation« said Miss La Creevy »I
recollect getting three young milliners to sit to me when I first began to
paint and I remember that they were all very pale and sickly«
»Oh thats not a general rule by any means« observed Mrs Nickleby »for I
remember as well as if it was only yesterday employing one that I was
particularly recommended to to make me a scarlet cloak at the time when scarlet
cloaks were fashionable and she had a very red face a very red face indeed«
»Perhaps she drank« suggested Miss La Creevy
»I dont know how that may have been« returned Mrs Nickleby »but I know
she had a very red face so your argument goes for nothing«
In this manner and with like powerful reasoning did the worthy matron meet
every little objection that presented itself to the new scheme of the morning
Happy Mrs Nickleby A project had but to be new and it came home to her mind
brightly varnished and gilded as a glittering toy
This question disposed of Kate communicated her uncles desire about the
empty house to which Mrs Nickleby assented with equal readiness
characteristically remarking that on the fine evenings it would be a pleasant
amusement for her to walk to the West end to fetch her daughter home and no
less characteristically forgetting that there were such things as wet nights
and bad weather to be encountered in almost every week of the year
»I shall be sorry truly sorry to leave you my kind friend« said Kate on
whom the good feeling of the poor miniaturepainter had made a deep impression
»You shall not shake me off for all that« replied Miss La Creevy with as
much sprightliness as she could assume »I shall see you very often and come
and hear how you get on and if in all London or all the wide world besides
there is no other heart that takes an interest in your welfare there will be
one little lonely woman that prays for it night and day«
With this the poor soul who had a heart big enough for Gog the guardian
genius of London and enough to spare for Magog to boot after making a great
many extraordinary faces which would have secured her an ample fortune could
she have transferred them to ivory or canvas sat down in a corner and had what
she termed a real good cry
But no crying or talking or hoping or fearing could keep off the dreaded
Saturday afternoon or Newman Noggs either who punctual to his time limped up
to the door and breathed a whiff of cordial gin through the keyhole exactly as
such of the church clocks in the neighbourhood as agreed among themselves about
the time struck five Newman waited for the last stroke and then knocked
»From Mr Ralph Nickleby« said Newman announcing his errand when he got
up stairs with all possible brevity
»We shall be ready directly« said Kate »We have not much to carry but I
fear we must have a coach«
»Ill get one« replied Newman
»Indeed you shall not trouble yourself« said Mrs Nickleby
»I will« said Newman
»I cant suffer you to think of such a thing« said Mrs Nickleby
»You cant help it« said Newman
»Not help it«
»No I thought of it as I came along but didnt get one thinking you
mightnt be ready I think of a great many things Nobody can prevent that«
»O yes I understand you Mr Noggs« said Mrs Nickleby »Our thoughts are
free of course Everybodys thoughts are their own clearly«
»They wouldnt be if some people had their way« muttered Newman
»Well no more they would Mr Noggs and thats very true« rejoined Mrs
Nickleby »Some people to be sure are such hows your master«
Newman darted a meaning glance at Kate and replied with a strong emphasis
on the last word of his answer that Mr Ralph Nickleby was well and sent his
love
»I am sure we are very much obliged to him« observed Mrs Nickleby
»Very« said Newman »Ill tell him so«
It was no very easy matter to mistake Newman Noggs after having once seen
him and as Kate attracted by the singularity of his manner in which on this
occasion however there was something respectful and even delicate
notwithstanding the abruptness of his speech looked at him more closely she
recollected having caught a passing glimpse of that strange figure before
»Excuse my curiosity« she said »but did I not see you in the coachyard on
the morning my brother went away to Yorkshire«
Newman cast a wistful glance on Mrs Nickleby and said »No« most
unblushingly
»No« exclaimed Kate »I should have said so anywhere«
»Youd have said wrong« rejoined Newman »Its the first time Ive been out
for three weeks Ive had the gout«
Newman was very very far from having the appearance of a gouty subject and
so Kate could not help thinking but the conference was cut short by Mrs
Nicklebys insisting on having the door shut lest Mr Noggs should take cold
and further persisting in sending the servant girl for a coach for fear he
should bring on another attack of his disorder To both conditions Newman was
compelled to yield Presently the coach came and after many sorrowful
farewells and a great deal of running backwards and forwards across the
pavement on the part of Miss La Creevy in the course of which the yellow turban
came into violent contact with sundry foot passengers it that is to say the
coach not the turban went away again with the two ladies and their luggage
inside and Newman despite all Mrs Nicklebys assurances that it would be his
death on the box beside the driver
They went into the City turning down by the river side and after a long
and very slow drive the streets being crowded at that hour with vehicles of
every kind stopped in front of a large old dingy house in Thames Street the
door and windows of which were so bespattered with mud that it would have
appeared to have been uninhabited for years
The door of this deserted mansion Newman opened with a key which he took out
of his hat in which bythebye in consequence of the dilapidated state of
his pockets he deposited everything and would most likely have carried his
money if he had had any and the coach being discharged he led the way into
the interior of the mansion
Old and gloomy and black in truth it was and sullen and dark were the
rooms once so bustling with life and enterprise There was a wharf behind
opening on the Thames An empty dogkennel some bones of animals fragments of
iron hoops and staves of old casks lay strewn about but no life was stirring
there It was a picture of cold silent decay
»This house depresses and chills one« said Kate »and seems as if some
blight had fallen on it If I were superstitious I should be almost inclined to
believe that some dreadful crime had been perpetrated within these old walls
and that the place had never prospered since How frowning and how dark it
looks«
»Lord my dear« replied Mrs Nickleby »dont talk in that way or youll
frighten me to death«
»It is only my foolish fancy mama« said Kate forcing a smile
»Well then my love I wish you would keep your foolish fancy to yourself
and not wake up my foolish fancy to keep it company« retorted Mrs Nickleby
»Why didnt you think of all this before you are so careless we might have
asked Miss La Creevy to keep us company or borrowed a dog or a thousand things
but it always was the way and was just the same with your poor dear father
Unless I thought of everything « This was Mrs Nicklebys usual commencement of
a general lamentation running through a dozen or so of complicated sentences
addressed to nobody in particular and into which she now launched until her
breath was exhausted
Newman appeared not to hear these remarks but preceded them to a couple of
rooms on the first floor which some kind of attempt had been made to render
habitable In one were a few chairs a table an old hearthrug and some faded
baize and a fire was ready laid in the grate In the other stood an old tent
bedstead and a few scanty articles of chamber furniture
»Well my dear« said Mrs Nickleby trying to be pleased »now isnt this
thoughtful and considerate of your uncle Why we should not have had anything
but the bed we bought yesterday to lie down upon if it hadnt been for his
thoughtfulness«
»Very kind indeed« replied Kate looking round
Newman Noggs did not say that he had hunted up the old furniture they saw
from attic and cellar or that he had taken in the halfpennyworth of milk for
tea that stood upon a shelf or filled the rusty kettle on the hob or collected
the woodchips from the wharf or begged the coals But the notion of Ralph
Nickleby having directed it to be done tickled his fancy so much that he could
not refrain from cracking all his ten fingers in succession at which
performance Mrs Nickleby was rather startled at first but supposing it to be
in some remote manner connected with the gout did not remark upon
»We need detain you no longer I think« said Kate
»Is there nothing I can do« asked Newman
»Nothing thank you« rejoined Miss Nickleby
»Perhaps my dear Mr Noggs would like to drink our healths« said Mrs
Nickleby fumbling in her reticule for some small coin
»I think mama« said Kate hesitating and remarking Newmans averted face
»you would hurt his feelings if you offered it«
Newman Noggs bowing to the young lady more like a gentleman than the
miserable wretch he seemed placed his hand upon his breast and pausing for a
moment with the air of a man who struggles to speak but is uncertain what to
say quitted the room
As the jarring echoes of the heavy housedoor closing on its latch
reverberated dismally through the building Kate felt half tempted to call him
back and beg him to remain a little while but she was ashamed to own her
fears and Newman Noggs was on his road homewards
Chapter XII
Whereby the Reader Will Be Enabled to Trace the Further Course of Miss Fanny
Squeerss Love and to Ascertain Whether It Ran Smooth or Otherwise
It was a fortunate circumstance for Miss Fanny Squeers that when her worthy papa
returned home on the night of the small teaparty he was what the initiated
term too far gone to observe the numerous tokens of extreme vexation of spirit
which were plainly visible in her countenance Being however of a rather
violent and quarrelsome mood in his cups it is not impossible that he might
have fallen out with her either on this or some imaginary topic if the young
lady had not with a foresight and prudence highly commendable kept a boy up
on purpose to bear the first brunt of the good gentlemans anger which having
vented itself in a variety of kicks and cuffs subsided sufficiently to admit of
his being persuaded to go to bed Which he did with his boots on and an
umbrella under his arm
The hungry servant attended Miss Squeers in her own room according to
custom to curl her hair perform the other little offices of her toilet and
administer as much flattery as she could get up for the purpose for Miss
Squeers was quite lazy enough and sufficiently vain and frivolous withal to
have been a fine lady and it was only the arbitrary distinctions of rank and
station which prevented her from being one
»How lovely your hair do curl tonight miss« said the handmaiden »I
declare if it isnt a pity and a shame to brush it out«
»Hold your tongue« replied Miss Squeers wrathfully
Some considerable experience prevented the girl from being at all surprised
at any outbreak of illtemper on the part of Miss Squeers Having a half
perception of what had occurred in the course of the evening she changed her
mode of making herself agreeable and proceeded on the indirect tack
»Well I couldnt help saying miss if you was to kill me for it« said the
attendant »that I never see nobody look so vulgar as Miss Price this night«
Miss Squeers sighed and composed herself to listen
»I know its very wrong in me to say so miss« continued the girl
delighted to see the impression she was making »Miss Price being a friend of
yourn and all but she do dress herself out so and go on in such a manner to
get noticed that oh well if people only saw themselves«
»What do you mean Phib« asked Miss Squeers looking in her own little
glass where like most of us she saw not herself but the reflection of some
pleasant image in her own brain »How you talk«
»Talk miss Its enough to make a Tom cat talk French grammar only to see
how she tosses her head« replied the handmaid
»She does toss her head« observed Miss Squeers with an air of abstraction
»So vain and so very very plain« said the girl
»Poor Tilda« sighed Miss Squeers compassionately
»And always laying herself out so to get to be admired« pursued the
servant »Oh dear Its positive indelicate«
»I cant allow you to talk in that way Phib« said Miss Squeers »Tildas
friends are low people and if she dont know any better its their fault and
not hers«
»Well but you know miss« said Phoebe for which name Phib was used as a
patronising abbreviation »if she was only to take copy by a friend oh if she
only knew how wrong she was and would but set herself right by you what a nice
young woman she might be in time«
»Phib« rejoined Miss Squeers with a stately air »its not proper for me
to hear these comparisons drawn they make Tilda look a coarse improper sort of
person and it seems unfriendly in me to listen to them I would rather you
dropped the subject Phib at the same time I must say that if Tilda Price
would take pattern by somebody not me particularly «
»Oh yes you miss« interposed Phib
»Well me Phib if you will have it so« said Miss Squeers »I must say
that if she would she would be all the better for it«
»So somebody else thinks or I am much mistaken« said the girl
mysteriously
»What do you mean« demanded Miss Squeers
»Never mind miss« replied the girl »I know what I know thats all«
»Phib« said Miss Squeers dramatically »I insist upon your explaining
yourself What is this dark mystery Speak«
»Why if you will have it miss its this« said the servant girl »Mr
John Browdie thinks as you think and if he wasnt too far gone to do it
creditable hed be very glad to be off with Miss Price and on with Miss
Squeers«
»Gracious Heavens« exclaimed Miss Squeers clasping her hands with great
dignity »What is this«
»Truth maam and nothing but truth« replied the artful Phib
»What a situation« cried Miss Squeers »on the brink of unconsciously
destroying the peace and happiness of my own Tilda What is the reason that men
fall in love with me whether I like it or not and desert their chosen
intendeds for my sake«
»Because they cant help it miss« replied the girl »the reasons plain«
If Miss Squeers were the reason it was very plain
»Never let me hear of it again« retorted Miss Squeers »Never Do you hear
Tilda Price has faults many faults but I wish her well and above all I
wish her married for I think it highly desirable most desirable from the very
nature of her failings that she should be married as soon as possible No
Phib Let her have Mr Browdie I may pity him poor fellow but I have a great
regard for Tilda and only hope she may make a better wife than I think she
will«
With this effusion of feeling Miss Squeers went to bed
Spite is a little word but it represents as strange a jumble of feelings
and compound of discords as any polysyllable in the language Miss Squeers knew
as well in her heart of hearts that what the miserable serving girl had said
was sheer coarse lying flattery as did the girl herself yet the mere
opportunity of venting a little illnature against the offending Miss Price and
affecting to compassionate her weaknesses and foibles though only in the
presence of a solitary dependant was almost as great a relief to her spleen as
if the whole had been gospel truth Nay more We have such extraordinary powers
of persuasion when they are exerted over ourselves that Miss Squeers felt quite
highminded and great after her noble renunciation of John Browdies hand and
looked down upon her rival with a kind of holy calmness and tranquillity that
had a mighty effect in soothing her ruffled feelings
This happy state of mind had some influence in bringing about a
reconciliation for when a knock came at the front door next day and the
millers daughter was announced Miss Squeers betook herself to the parlour in a
Christian frame of spirit perfectly beautiful to behold
»Well Fanny« said the millers daughter »you see I have come to see you
although we had some words last night«
»I pity your bad passions Tilda« replied Miss Squeers »but I bear no
malice I am above it«
»Dont be cross Fanny« said Miss Price »I have come to tell you something
that I know will please you«
»What may that be Tilda« demanded Miss Squeers screwing up her lips and
looking as if nothing in earth air fire or water could afford her the
slightest gleam of satisfaction
»This« rejoined Miss Price »After we left here last night John and I had
a dreadful quarrel«
»That doesnt please me« said Miss Squeers relaxing into a smile though
»Lor I wouldnt think so bad of you as to suppose it did« rejoined her
companion »Thats not it«
»Oh« said Miss Squeers relapsing into melancholy »Go on«
»After a great deal of wrangling and saying we would never see each other
any more« continued Miss Price »we made it up and this morning John went and
wrote our names down to be put up for the first time next Sunday so we shall
be married in three weeks and I give you notice to get your frock made«
There was mingled gall and honey in this intelligence The prospect of the
friends being married so soon was the gall and the certainty of her not
entertaining serious designs upon Nicholas was the honey Upon the whole the
sweet greatly preponderated over the bitter so Miss Squeers said she would get
the frock made and that she hoped Tilda might be happy though at the same
time she didnt know and would not have her build too much upon it for men
were strange creatures and a great many married women were very miserable and
wished themselves single again with all their hearts to which condolences Miss
Squeers added others equally calculated to raise her friends spirits and
promote her cheerfulness of mind
»But come now Fanny« said Miss Price »I want to have a word or two with
you about young Mr Nickleby«
»He is nothing to me« interrupted Miss Squeers with hysterical symptoms
»I despise him too much«
»Oh you dont mean that I am sure« replied her friend »Confess Fanny
dont you like him now«
Without returning any direct reply Miss Squeers all at once fell into a
paroxysm of spiteful tears and exclaimed that she was a wretched neglected
miserable castaway
»I hate everybody« said Miss Squeers »and I wish that everybody was dead
that I do«
»Dear dear« said Miss Price quite moved by this avowal of misanthropical
sentiments »You are not serious I am sure«
»Yes I am« rejoined Miss Squeers tying tight knots in her
pockethandkerchief and clenching her teeth »And I wish I was dead too
There«
»Oh youll think very differently in another five minutes« said Matilda
»How much better to take him into favour again than to hurt yourself by going
on in that way Wouldnt it be much nicer now to have him all to yourself on
good terms in a companykeeping lovemaking pleasant sort of manner«
»I dont know but what it would« sobbed Miss Squeers »Oh Tilda how
could you have acted so mean and dishonourable I wouldnt have believed it of
you if anybody had told me«
»Heyday« exclaimed Miss Price giggling »One would suppose I had been
murdering somebody at least«
»Very nigh as bad« said Miss Squeers passionately
»And all this because I happen to have enough of good looks to make people
civil to me« cried Miss Price »Persons dont make their own faces and its no
more my fault if mine is a good one than it is other peoples fault if theirs is
a bad one«
»Hold your tongue« shrieked Miss Squeers in her shrillest tone »or youll
make me slap you Tilda and afterwards I should be sorry for it«
It is needless to say that by this time the temper of each young lady was
in some slight degree affected by the tone of her conversation and that a dash
of personality was infused into the altercation in consequence Indeed the
quarrel from slight beginnings rose to a considerable height and was assuming
a very violent complexion when both parties falling into a great passion of
tears exclaimed simultaneously that they had never thought of being spoken to
in that way which exclamation leading to a remonstrance gradually brought on
an explanation and the upshot was that they fell into each others arms and
vowed eternal friendship the occasion in question making the fiftysecond time
of repeating the same impressive ceremony within a twelvemonth
Perfect amicability being thus restored a dialogue naturally ensued upon
the number and nature of the garments which would be indispensable for Miss
Prices entrance into the holy state of matrimony when Miss Squeers clearly
showed that a great many more than the miller could or would afford were
absolutely necessary and could not decently be dispensed with The young lady
then by an easy digression led the discourse to her own wardrobe and after
recounting its principal beauties at some length took her friend up stairs to
make inspection thereof The treasures of two drawers and a closet having been
displayed and all the smaller articles tried on it was time for Miss Price to
return home and as she had been in raptures with all the frocks and had been
stricken quite dumb with admiration of a new pink scarf Miss Squeers said in
high good humour that she would walk part of the way with her for the pleasure
of her company and off they went together Miss Squeers dilating as they
walked along upon her fathers accomplishments and multiplying his income by
ten to give her friend some faint notion of the vast importance and superiority
of her family
It happened that that particular time comprising the short daily interval
which was suffered to elapse between what was pleasantly called the dinner of
Mr Squeerss pupils and their return to the pursuit of useful knowledge was
precisely the hour when Nicholas was accustomed to issue forth for a melancholy
walk and to brood as he sauntered listlessly through the village upon his
miserable lot Miss Squeers knew this perfectly well but had perhaps forgotten
it for when she caught sight of that young gentleman advancing towards them
she evinced many symptoms of surprise and consternation and assured her friend
that she felt fit to drop into the earth
»Shall we turn back or run into a cottage« asked Miss Price »He dont see
us yet«
»No Tilda« replied Miss Squeers »it is my duty to go through with it
and I will«
As Miss Squeers said this in the tone of one who has made a high moral
resolution and was besides taken with one or two chokes and catchings of
breath indicative of feelings at a high pressure her friend made no farther
remark and they bore straight down upon Nicholas who walking with his eyes
bent upon the ground was not aware of their approach until they were close upon
him otherwise he might perhaps have taken shelter himself
»Good morning« said Nicholas bowing and passing by
»He is going« murmured Miss Squeers »I shall choke Tilda«
»Come back Mr Nickleby do« cried Miss Price affecting alarm at her
friends threat but really actuated by a malicious wish to hear what Nicholas
would say »come back Mr Nickleby«
Mr Nickleby came back and looked as confused as might be as he inquired
whether the ladies had any commands for him
»Dont stop to talk« urged Miss Price hastily »but support her on the
other side How do you feel now dear«
»Better« sighed Miss Squeers laying a beaver bonnet of a reddish brown
with a green veil attached on Mr Nicklebys shoulder »This foolish
faintness«
»Dont call it foolish dear« said Miss Price her bright eye dancing with
merriment as she saw the perplexity of Nicholas »you have no reason to be
ashamed of it Its those who are too proud to come round again without all
this todo that ought to be ashamed«
»You are resolved to fix it upon me I see« said Nicholas smiling
»although I told you last night it was not my fault«
»There he says it was not his fault my dear« remarked the wicked Miss
Price »Perhaps you were too jealous or too hasty with him He says it was not
his fault You hear I think thats apology enough«
»You will not understand me« said Nicholas »Pray dispense with this
jesting for I have no time and really no inclination to be the subject or
promoter of mirth just now«
»What do you mean« asked Miss Price affecting amazement
»Dont ask him Tilda« cried Miss Squeers »I forgive him«
»Dear me« said Nicholas as the brown bonnet went down on his shoulder
again »this is more serious than I supposed Allow me Will you have the
goodness to hear me speak«
Here he raised up the brown bonnet and regarding with most unfeigned
astonishment a look of tender reproach from Miss Squeers shrunk back a few
paces to be out of the reach of the fair burden and went on to say
»I am very sorry truly and sincerely sorry for having been the cause of
any difference among you last night I reproach myself most bitterly for
having been so unfortunate as to cause the dissension that occurred although I
did so I assure you most unwittingly and heedlessly«
»Well thats not all you have got to say surely« exclaimed Miss Price as
Nicholas paused
»I fear there is something more« stammered Nicholas with a half smile and
looking towards Miss Squeers »it is a most awkward thing to say but the
very mention of such a supposition makes one look like a puppy still may I
ask if that lady supposes that I entertain any in short does she think that I
am in love with her«
»Delightful embarrassment« thought Miss Squeers »I have brought him to it
at last Answer for me dear« she whispered to her friend
»Does she think so« rejoined Miss Price »of course she does«
»She does« exclaimed Nicholas with such energy of utterance as might have
been for the moment mistaken for rapture
»Certainly« replied Miss Price
»If Mr Nickleby has doubted that Tilda« said the blushing Miss Squeers
in soft accents »he may set his mind at rest His sentiments are recipro«
»Stop« cried Nicholas hurriedly »pray hear me This is the grossest and
wildest delusion the completest and most signal mistake that ever human being
laboured under or committed I have scarcely seen the young lady half a dozen
times but if I had seen her sixty times or am destined to see her sixty
thousand it would be and will be precisely the same I have not one thought
wish or hope connected with her unless it be and I say this not to hurt her
feelings but to impress her with the real state of my own unless it be the
one object dear to my heart as life itself of being one day able to turn my
back upon this accursed place never to set foot in it again or think of it
even think of it but with loathing and disgust«
With this particularly plain and straightforward declaration which he made
with all the vehemence that his indignant and excited feelings could bring to
bear upon it Nicholas waiting to hear no more retreated
But poor Miss Squeers Her anger rage and vexation the rapid succession
of bitter and passionate feelings that whirled through her mind are not to be
described Refused refused by a teacher picked up by advertisement at an
annual salary of five pounds payable at indefinite periods and found in food
and lodging like the very boys themselves and this too in the presence of a
little chit of millers daughter of eighteen who was going to be married in
three weeks time to a man who had gone down on his very knees to ask her She
could have choked in right good earnest at the thought of being so humbled
But there was one thing clear in the midst of her mortification and that
was that she hated and detested Nicholas with all the narrowness of mind and
littleness of purpose worthy a descendant of the house of Squeers And there was
one comfort too and that was that every hour in every day she could wound his
pride and goad him with the infliction of some slight or insult or
deprivation which could not but have some effect on the most insensible person
and must be acutely felt by one so sensitive as Nicholas With these two
reflections uppermost in her mind Miss Squeers made the best of the matter to
her friend by observing that Mr Nickleby was such an odd creature and of such
a violent temper that she feared she should be obliged to give him up and
parted from her
And here it may be remarked that Miss Squeers having bestowed her
affections or whatever it might be that in the absence of anything better
represented them on Nicholas Nickleby had never once seriously contemplated
the possibility of his being of a different opinion from herself in the
business Miss Squeers reasoned that she was prepossessing and beautiful and
that her father was master and Nicholas man and that her father had saved
money and Nicholas had none all of which seemed to her conclusive arguments
why the young man should feel only too much honoured by her preference She had
not failed to recollect either how much more agreeable she could render his
situation if she were his friend and how much more disagreeable if she were his
enemy and doubtless many less scrupulous young gentlemen than Nicholas would
have encouraged her extravagance had it been only for this very obvious and
intelligible reason However he had thought proper to do otherwise and Miss
Squeers was outrageous
»Let him see« said the irritated young lady when she had regained her own
room and eased her mind by committing an assault on Phib »if I dont set
mother against him a little more when she comes back«
It was scarcely necessary to do this but Miss Squeers was as good as her
word and poor Nicholas in addition to bad food dirty lodging and the being
compelled to witness one dull unvarying round of squalid misery was treated
with every special indignity that malice could suggest or the most grasping
cupidity put upon him
Nor was this all There was another and deeper system of annoyance which
made his heart sink and nearly drove him wild by its injustice and cruelty
The wretched creature Smike since the night Nicholas had spoken kindly to
him in the schoolroom had followed him to and fro with an ever restless
desire to serve or help him anticipating such little wants as his humble
ability could supply and content only to be near him He would sit beside him
for hours looking patiently into his face and a word would brighten up his
careworn visage and call into it a passing gleam even of happiness He was an
altered being he had an object now and that object was to show his attachment
to the only person that person a stranger who had treated him not to say
with kindness but like a human creature
Upon this poor being all the spleen and illhumour that could not be vented
on Nicholas were unceasingly bestowed Drudgery would have been nothing Smike
was well used to that Buffetings inflicted without cause would have been
equally a matter of course for to them also he had served a long and weary
apprenticeship but it was no sooner observed that he had become attached to
Nicholas than stripes and blows stripes and blows morning noon and night
were his only portion Squeers was jealous of the influence which his man had so
soon acquired and his family hated him and Smike paid for both Nicholas saw
it and ground his teeth at every repetition of the savage and cowardly attack
He had arranged a few regular lessons for the boys and one night as he
paced up and down the dismal schoolroom his swoln heart almost bursting to
think that his protection and countenance should have increased the misery of
the wretched being whose peculiar destitution had awakened his pity he paused
mechanically in a dark corner where sat the object of his thoughts
The poor soul was poring hard over a tattered book with the traces of
recent tears still upon his face vainly endeavouring to master some task which
a child of nine years old possessed of ordinary powers could have conquered
with ease but which to the addled brain of the crushed boy of nineteen was a
sealed and hopeless mystery Yet there he sat patiently conning the page again
and again stimulated by no boyish ambition for he was the common jest and
scoff even of the uncouth objects that congregated about him but inspired by
the one eager desire to please his solitary friend
Nicholas laid his hand upon his shoulder
»I cant do it« said the dejected creature looking up with bitter
disappointment in every feature »No no«
»Do not try« replied Nicholas
The boy shook his head and closing the book with a sigh looked vacantly
round and laid his head upon his arm He was weeping
»Do not for Gods sake« said Nicholas in an agitated voice »I cannot bear
to see you«
»They are more hard with me than ever« sobbed the boy
»I know it« rejoined Nicholas »They are«
»But for you« said the outcast »I should die They would kill me they
would I know they would«
»You will do better poor fellow« replied Nicholas shaking his head
mournfully »when I am gone«
»Gone« cried the other looking intently in his face
»Softly« rejoined Nicholas »Yes«
»Are you going« demanded the boy in an earnest whisper
»I cannot say« replied Nicholas »I was speaking more to my own thoughts
than to you«
»Tell me« said the boy imploringly »Oh do tell me will you go will
you«
»I shall be driven to that at last« said Nicholas »The world is before me
after all«
»Tell me« urged Smike »is the world as bad and dismal as this place«
»Heaven forbid« replied Nicholas pursuing the train of his own thoughts
»its hardest coarsest toil were happiness to this«
»Should I ever meet you there« demanded the boy speaking with unusual
wildness and volubility
»Yes« replied Nicholas willing to soothe him
»No no« said the other clasping him by the hand »Should I should I
tell me that again Say I should be sure to find you«
»You would« replied Nicholas with the same humane intention »and I would
help and aid you and not bring fresh sorrow on you as I have done here«
The boy caught both the young mans hands passionately in his and hugging
them to his breast uttered a few broken sounds which were unintelligible
Squeers entered at the moment and he shrunk back into his old corner
Chapter XIII
Nicholas Varies the Monotony of Dotheboys Hall by a Most Vigorous and Remarkable
Proceeding Which Leads to Consequences of Some Importance
The cold feeble dawn of a January morning was stealing in at the windows of
the common sleepingroom when Nicholas raising himself on his arm looked
among the prostrate forms which on every side surrounded him as though in
search of some particular object
It needed a quick eye to detect from among the huddled mass of sleepers
the form of any given individual As they lay closely packed together covered
for warmths sake with their patched and ragged clothes little could be
distinguished but the sharp outlines of pale faces over which the sombre light
shed the same dull heavy colour with here and there a gaunt arm thrust forth
its thinness hidden by no covering but fully exposed to view in all its
shrunken ugliness There were some who lying on their backs with upturned faces
and clenched hands just visible in the leaden light bore more the aspect of
dead bodies than of living creatures and there were others coiled up into
strange and fantastic postures such as might have been taken for the uneasy
efforts of pain to gain some temporary relief rather than the freaks of
slumber A few and these were among the youngest of the children slept
peacefully on with smiles upon their faces dreaming perhaps of home but ever
and again a deep and heavy sigh breaking the stillness of the room announced
that some new sleeper had awakened to the misery of another day and as morning
took the place of night the smiles gradually faded away with the friendly
darkness which had given them birth
Dreams are the bright creatures of poem and legend who sport on earth in
the night season and melt away in the first beam of the sun which lights grim
care and stern reality on their daily pilgrimage through the world
Nicholas looked upon the sleepers at first with the air of one who gazes
upon a scene which though familiar to him has lost none of its sorrowful
effect in consequence and afterwards with a more intense and searching
scrutiny as a man would who missed something his eye was accustomed to meet
and had expected to rest upon He was still occupied in this search and had
half risen from his bed in the eagerness of his quest when the voice of Squeers
was heard calling from the bottom of the stairs
»Now then« cried that gentleman »are you going to sleep all day up there
«
»You lazy hounds« added Mrs Squeers finishing the sentence and
producing at the same time a sharp sound like that which is occasioned by the
lacing of stays
»We shall be down directly sir« replied Nicholas
»Down directly« said Squeers »Ah you had better be down directly or Ill
be down upon some of you in less Wheres that Smike«
Nicholas looked hurriedly round again but made no answer
»Smike« shouted Squeers
»Do you want your head broke in a fresh place Smike« demanded his amiable
lady in the same key
Still there was no reply and still Nicholas stared about him as did the
greater part of the boys who were by this time roused
»Confound his impudence« muttered Squeers rapping the stairrail
impatiently with his cane »Nickleby«
»Well sir«
»Send that obstinate scoundrel down dont you hear me calling«
»He is not here sir« replied Nicholas
»Dont tell me a lie« retorted the schoolmaster »He is«
»He is not« retorted Nicholas angrily »dont tell me one«
»We shall soon see that« said Mr Squeers rushing upstairs »Ill find
him I warrant you«
With which assurance Mr Squeers bounced into the dormitory and swinging
his cane in the air ready for a blow darted into the corner where the lean body
of the drudge was usually stretched at night The cane descended harmlessly upon
the ground There was nobody there
»What does this mean« said Squeers turning round with a very pale face
»Where have you hid him«
»I have seen nothing of him since last night« replied Nicholas
»Come« said Squeers evidently frightened though he endeavoured to look
otherwise »you wont save him this way Where is he«
»At the bottom of the nearest pond for aught I know« rejoined Nicholas in a
low voice and fixing his eyes full on the masters face
»Dn you what do you mean by that« retorted Squeers in great
perturbation Without waiting for a reply he inquired of the boys whether any
one among them knew anything of their missing schoolmate
There was a general hum of anxious denial in the midst of which one shrill
voice was heard to say as indeed everybody thought
»Please sir I think Smikes run away sir«
»Ha« cried Squeers turning sharp round »Who said that«
»Tompkins please sir« rejoined a chorus of voices Mr Squeers made a
plunge into the crowd and at one dive caught a very little boy habited still
in his night gear and the perplexed expression of whose countenance as he was
brought forward seemed to intimate that he was as yet uncertain whether he was
about to be punished or rewarded for the suggestion He was not long in doubt
»You think he has run away do you sir« demanded Squeers
»Yes please sir« replied the little boy
»And what sir« said Squeers catching the little boy suddenly by the arms
and whisking up his drapery in a most dexterous manner »what reason have you to
suppose that any boy would want to run away from this establishment Eh sir«
The child raised a dismal cry by way of answer and Mr Squeers throwing
himself into the most favourable attitude for exercising his strength beat him
until the little urchin in his writhings actually rolled out of his hands when
he mercifully allowed him to roll away as he best could
»There« said Squeers »Now if any other boy thinks Smike has run away I
should be glad to have a talk with him«
There was of course a profound silence during which Nicholas showed his
disgust as plainly as looks can show it
»Well Nickleby« said Squeers eyeing him maliciously »You think he has
run away I suppose«
»I think it extremely likely« replied Nicholas in a quiet manner
»Oh you do do you« sneered Squeers »Maybe you know he has«
»I know nothing of the kind«
»He didnt tell you he was going I suppose did he« sneered Squeers
»He did not« replied Nicholas »I am very glad he did not for it would
then have been my duty to have warned you in time«
»Which no doubt you would have been devilish sorry to do« said Squeers in a
taunting fashion
»I should indeed« replied Nicholas »You interpret my feelings with great
accuracy«
Mrs Squeers had listened to this conversation from the bottom of the
stairs but now losing all patience she hastily assumed her nightjacket and
made her way to the scene of action
»Whats all this here todo« said the lady as the boys fell off right and
left to save her the trouble of clearing a passage with her brawny arms »What
on earth are you a talking to him for Squeery«
»Why my dear« said Squeers »the fact is that Smike is not to be found«
»Well I know that« said the lady »and wheres the wonder If you get a
parcel of proudstomached teachers that set the young dogs a rebelling what
else can you look for Now young man you just have the kindness to take
yourself off to the schoolroom and take the boys off with you and dont you
stir out of there till you have leave given you or you and I may fall out in a
way thatll spoil your beauty handsome as you think yourself and so I tell
you«
»Indeed« said Nicholas
»Yes and indeed and indeed again Mister Jackanapes« said the excited
lady »and I wouldnt keep such as you in the house another hour if I had my
way«
»Nor would you if I had mine« replied Nicholas »Now boys«
»Ah Now boys« said Mrs Squeers mimicking as nearly as she could the
voice and manner of the usher »Follow your leader boys and take pattern by
Smike if you dare See what hell get for himself when he is brought back and
mind I tell you that you shall have as bad and twice as bad if you so much as
open your mouths about him«
»If I catch him« said Squeers »Ill only stop short of flaying him alive
I give you notice boys«
»If you catch him« retorted Mrs Squeers contemptuously »you are sure to
you cant help it if you go the right way to work Come Away with you«
With these words Mrs Squeers dismissed the boys and after a little light
skirmishing with those in the rear who were pressing forward to get out of the
way but were detained for a few moments by the throng in front succeeded in
clearing the room when she confronted her spouse alone
»He is off« said Mrs Squeers »The cowhouse and stable are locked up so
he cant be there and hes not down stairs anywhere for the girl has looked
He must have gone York way and by a public road too«
»Why must he« inquired Squeers
»Stupid« said Mrs Squeers angrily »He hadnt any money had he«
»Never had a penny of his own in his whole life that I know of« replied
Squeers
»To be sure« rejoined Mrs Squeers »and he didnt take anything to eat
with him that Ill answer for Ha ha ha«
»Ha ha ha« laughed Squeers
»Then of course« said Mrs S »he must beg his way and he could do that
nowhere but on the public road«
»Thats true« exclaimed Squeers clapping his hands
»True Yes but you would never have thought of it for all that if I
hadnt said so« replied his wife »Now if you take the chaise and go one road
and I borrow Swallows chaise and go the other what with keeping our eyes open
and asking questions one or other of us is pretty certain to lay hold of him«
The worthy ladys plan was adopted and put in execution without a moments
delay After a very hasty breakfast and the prosecution of some inquiries in
the village the result of which seemed to show that he was on the right track
Squeers started forth in the ponychaise intent upon discovery and vengeance
Shortly afterwards Mrs Squeers arrayed in the white topcoat and tied up in
various shawls and handkerchiefs issued forth in another chaise and another
direction taking with her a goodsized bludgeon several odd pieces of strong
cord and a stout labouring man all provided and carried upon the expedition
with the sole object of assisting in the capture and once caught insuring the
safe custody of the unfortunate Smike
Nicholas remained behind in a tumult of feeling sensible that whatever
might be the upshot of the boys flight nothing but painful and deplorable
consequences were likely to ensue from it Death from want and exposure to the
weather was the best that could be expected from the protracted wandering of so
poor and helpless a creature alone and unfriended through a country of which
he was wholly ignorant There was little perhaps to choose between this fate
and a return to the tender mercies of the Yorkshire school but the unhappy
being had established a hold upon his sympathy and compassion which made his
heart ache at the prospect of the suffering he was destined to undergo He
lingered on in restless anxiety picturing a thousand possibilities until the
evening of next day when Squeers returned alone and unsuccessful
»No news of the scamp« said the schoolmaster who had evidently been
stretching his legs on the old principle not a few times during the journey
»Ill have consolation for this out of somebody Nickleby if Mrs Squeers dont
hunt him down so I give you warning«
»It is not in my power to console you sir« said Nicholas »It is nothing
to me«
»Isnt it« said Squeers in a threatening manner »We shall see«
»We shall« rejoined Nicholas
»Heres the pony run right off his legs and me obliged to come home with a
hack cob thatll cost fifteen shillings besides other expenses« said Squeers
»whos to pay for that do you hear«
Nicholas shrugged his shoulders and remained silent
»Ill have it out of somebody I tell you« said Squeers his usual harsh
crafty manner changed to open bullying »None of your whining vapourings here
Mr Puppy but be off to your kennel for its past your bedtime Come Get
out«
Nicholas bit his lip and knit his hands involuntarily for his finger ends
tingled to avenge the insult but remembering that the man was drunk and that
it could come to little but a noisy brawl he contented himself with darting a
contemptuous look at the tyrant and walked as majestically as he could up
stairs not a little nettled however to observe that Miss Squeers and Master
Squeers and the servant girl were enjoying the scene from a snug corner the
two former indulging in many edifying remarks about the presumption of poor
upstarts which occasioned a vast deal of laughter in which even the most
miserable of all miserable servant girls joined while Nicholas stung to the
quick drew over his head such bedclothes as he had and sternly resolved that
the outstanding account between himself and Mr Squeers should be settled rather
more speedily than the latter anticipated
Another day came and Nicholas was scarcely awake when he heard the wheels
of a chaise approaching the house It stopped The voice of Mrs Squeers was
heard and in exultation ordering a glass of spirits for somebody which was in
itself a sufficient sign that something extraordinary had happened Nicholas
hardly dared to look out of the window but he did so and the very first object
that met his eyes was the wretched Smike so bedabbled with mud and rain so
haggard and worn and wild that but for his garments being such as no scarecrow
was ever seen to wear he might have been doubtful even then of his identity
»Lift him out« said Squeers after he had literally feasted his eyes in
silence upon the culprit »Bring him in bring him in«
»Take care« cried Mrs Squeers as her husband proffered his assistance
»We tied his legs under the apron and made em fast to the chaise to prevent
his giving us the slip again«
With hands trembling with delight Squeers unloosened the cord and Smike
to all appearance more dead than alive was brought into the house and securely
locked up in a cellar until such time as Mr Squeers should deem it expedient
to operate upon him in presence of the assembled school
Upon a hasty consideration of the circumstances it may be matter of
surprise to some persons that Mr and Mrs Squeers should have taken so much
trouble to repossess themselves of an incumbrance of which it was their wont to
complain so loudly but their surprise will cease when they are informed that
the manifold services of the drudge if performed by anybody else would have
cost the establishment some ten or twelve shillings per week in the shape of
wages and furthermore that all runaways were as a matter of policy made
severe examples of at Dotheboys Hall inasmuch as, in consequence of the
limited extent of its attractions there was but little inducement beyond the
powerful impulse of fear for any pupil provided with the usual number of legs
and the power of using them to remain
The news that Smike had been caught and brought back in triumph ran like
wildfire through the hungry community and expectation was on tiptoe all the
morning On tiptoe it was destined to remain however until afternoon when
Squeers having refreshed himself with his dinner and further strengthened
himself by an extra libation or so made his appearance accompanied by his
amiable partner with a countenance of portentous import and a fearful
instrument of flagellation strong supple waxended and new in short
purchased that morning expressly for the occasion
»Is every boy here« asked Squeers in a tremendous voice
Every boy was there but every boy was afraid to speak so Squeers glared
along the lines to assure himself and every eye drooped and every head cowered
down as he did so
»Each boy keep his place« said Squeers administering his favourite blow to
the desk and regarding with gloomy satisfaction the universal start which it
never failed to occasion »Nickleby to your desk sir«
It was remarked by more than one small observer that there was a very
curious and unusual expression in the ushers face but he took his seat
without opening his lips in reply Squeers casting a triumphant glance at his
assistant and a look of most comprehensive despotism on the boys left the room
and shortly afterwards returned dragging Smike by the collar or rather by
that fragment of his jacket which was nearest the place where his collar would
have been had he boasted such a decoration
In any other place the appearance of the wretched jaded spiritless object
would have occasioned a murmur of compassion and remonstrance It had some
effect even there for the lookerson moved uneasily in their seats and a few
of the boldest ventured to steal looks at each other expressive of indignation
and pity
They were lost on Squeers however whose gaze was fastened on the luckless
Smike as he inquired according to custom in such cases whether he had
anything to say for himself
»Nothing I suppose« said Squeers with a diabolical grin
Smike glanced round and his eye rested for an instant on Nicholas as if
he had expected him to intercede but his look was riveted on his desk
»Have you anything to say« demanded Squeers again giving his right arm two
or three flourishes to try its power and suppleness »Stand a little out of the
way Mrs Squeers my dear Ive hardly got room enough«
»Spare me sir« cried Smike
»Oh thats all is it« said Squeers »Yes Ill flog you within an inch of
your life and spare you that«
»Ha ha ha« laughed Mrs Squeers »thats a good un«
»I was driven to do it« said Smike faintly and casting another imploring
look about him
»Driven to do it were you« said Squeers »Oh it wasnt your fault it was
mine I suppose eh«
»A nasty ungrateful pigheaded brutish obstinate sneaking dog«
exclaimed Mrs Squeers taking Smikes head under her arm and administering a
cuff at every epithet »what does he mean by that«
»Stand aside my dear« replied Squeers »Well try and find out«
Mrs Squeers being out of breath with her exertions complied Squeers
caught the boy firmly in his grip one desperate cut had fallen on his body he
was wincing from the lash and uttering a scream of pain it was raised again
and again about to fall when Nicholas Nickleby suddenly starting up cried
»Stop« in a voice that made the rafters ring
»Who cried stop« said Squeers turning savagely round
»I« said Nicholas stepping forward »This must not go on«
»Must not go on« cried Squeers almost in a shriek
»No« thundered Nicholas
Aghast and stupefied by the boldness of the interference Squeers released
his hold of Smike and falling back a pace or two gazed upon Nicholas with
looks that were positively frightful
»I say must not« repeated Nicholas nothing daunted »shall not I will
prevent it«
Squeers continued to gaze upon him with his eyes starting out of his head
but astonishment had actually for the moment bereft him of speech
»You have disregarded all my quiet interference in the miserable lads
behalf« said Nicholas »you have returned no answer to the letter in which I
begged forgiveness for him and offered to be responsible that he would remain
quietly here Dont blame me for this public interference You have brought it
upon yourself not I«
»Sit down beggar« screamed Squeers almost beside himself with rage and
seizing Smike as he spoke
»Wretch« rejoined Nicholas fiercely »touch him at your peril I will not
stand by and see it done My blood is up and I have the strength of ten such
men as you Look to yourself for by Heaven I will not spare you if you drive
me on«
»Stand back« cried Squeers brandishing his weapon
»I have a long series of insults to avenge« said Nicholas flushed with
passion »and my indignation is aggravated by the dastardly cruelties practised
on helpless infancy in this foul den Have a care for if you do raise the devil
within me the consequences shall fall heavily upon your own head«
He had scarcely spoken when Squeers in a violent outbreak of wrath and
with a cry like the howl of a wild beast spat upon him and struck him a blow
across the face with his instrument of torture which raised up a bar of livid
flesh as it was inflicted Smarting with the agony of the blow and
concentrating into that one moment all his feelings of rage scorn and
indignation Nicholas sprang upon him wrested the weapon from his hand and
pinning him by the throat beat the ruffian till he roared for mercy
The boys with the exception of Master Squeers who coming to his fathers
assistance harassed the enemy in the rear moved not hand or foot but Mrs
Squeers with many shrieks for aid hung on to the tail of her partners coat
and endeavoured to drag him from his infuriated adversary while Miss Squeers
who had been peeping through the keyhole in expectation of a very different
scene darted in at the very beginning of the attack and after launching a
shower of inkstands at the ushers head beat Nicholas to her hearts content
animating herself at every blow with the recollection of his having refused
her proffered love and thus imparting additional strength to an arm which as
she took after her mother in this respect was at no time one of the weakest
Nicholas in the full torrent of his violence felt the blows no more than
if they had been dealt with feathers but becoming tired of the noise and
uproar and feeling that his arm grew weak besides he threw all his remaining
strength into halfadozen finishing cuts and flung Squeers from him with all
the force he could muster The violence of his fall precipitated Mrs Squeers
completely over an adjacent form and Squeers striking his head against it in
his descent lay at his full length on the ground stunned and motionless
Having brought affairs to this happy termination and ascertained to his
thorough satisfaction that Squeers was only stunned and not dead upon which
point he had had some unpleasant doubts at first Nicholas left his family to
restore him and retired to consider what course he had better adopt He looked
anxiously round for Smike as he left the room but he was nowhere to be seen
After a brief consideration he packed up a few clothes in a small leathern
valise and finding that nobody offered to oppose his progress marched boldly
out by the front door and shortly afterwards struck into the road which led to
Greta Bridge
When he had cooled sufficiently to be enabled to give his present
circumstances some little reflection they did not appear in a very encouraging
light he had only four shillings and a few pence in his pocket and was
something more than two hundred and fifty miles from London whither he resolved
to direct his steps that he might ascertain among other things what account
of the mornings proceedings Mr Squeers transmitted to his most affectionate
uncle
Lifting up his eyes as he arrived at the conclusion that there was no
remedy for this unfortunate state of things he beheld a horseman coming towards
him whom on nearer approach he discovered to his infinite chagrin to be no
other than Mr John Browdie who clad in cords and leather leggings was urging
his animal forward by means of a thick ash stick which seemed to have been
recently cut from some stout sapling
»I am in no mood for more noise and riot« thought Nicholas »and yet do
what I will I shall have an altercation with this honest blockhead and perhaps
a blow or two from yonder staff«
In truth there appeared some reason to expect that such a result would
follow from the encounter for John Browdie no sooner saw Nicholas advancing
than he reined in his horse by the footpath and waited until such time as he
should come up looking meanwhile very sternly between the horses ears at
Nicholas as he came on at his leisure
»Servant young genelman« said John
»Yours« said Nicholas
»Weel we ha met at last« observed John making the stirrup ring under a
smart touch of the ash stick
»Yes« replied Nicholas hesitating »Come« he said frankly after a
moments pause »we parted on no very good terms the last time we met it was my
fault I believe but I had no intention of offending you and no idea that I
was doing so I was very sorry for it afterwards Will you shake hands«
»Shake honds« cried the goodhumoured Yorkshireman »ah that I weel« at
the same time he bent down from the saddle and gave Nicholass fist a huge
wrench »but waat be the matther wi thy feace mun it be all brokken loike«
»It is a cut« said Nicholas turning scarlet as he spoke »a blow but I
returned it to the giver and with good interest too«
»Noa did ee though« exclaimed John Browdie »Well deane I loike un for
thot«
»The fact is« said Nicholas not very well knowing how to make the avowal
»the fact is that I have been illtreated«
»Noa« interposed John Browdie in a tone of compassion for he was a giant
in strength and stature and Nicholas very likely in his eyes seemed a mere
dwarf »deant say thot«
»Yes I have« replied Nicholas »by that man Squeers and I have beaten him
soundly and am leaving this place in consequence«
»What« cried John Browdie with such an ecstatic shout that the horse
quite shied at it »Beatten the schoolmeasther Ho ho ho Beatten the
schoolmeasther who ever heard o the loike o that noo Giv us thee hond
agean yoongster Beatten the schoolmeasther Dang it I loove thee fort«
With these expressions of delight John Browdie laughed and laughed again
so loud that the echoes far and wide sent back nothing but jovial peals of
merriment and shook Nicholas by the hand meanwhile no less heartily When his
mirth had subsided he inquired what Nicholas meant to do on his informing him
to go straight to London he shook his head doubtfully and inquired if he knew
how much the coaches charged to carry passengers so far
»No I do not« said Nicholas »but it is of no great consequence to me for
I intend walking«
»Gang awa to Lunnun afoot« cried John in amazement
»Every step of the way« replied Nicholas »I should be many steps further
on by this time and so good bye«
»Nay noo« replied the honest countryman reining in his impatient horse
»stan still tellee Hoo much cash hast thee gotten«
»Not much« said Nicholas colouring »but I can make it enough Where
theres a will theres a way you know«
John Browdie made no verbal answer to this remark but putting his hand in
his pocket pulled out an old purse of soiled leather and insisted that
Nicholas should borrow from him whatever he required for his present
necessities
»Deant be afeard mun« he said »tak eneaf to carry thee whoam Theelt
pay me yan day a warrant«
Nicholas could by no means be prevailed upon to borrow more than a
sovereign with which loan Mr Browdie after many entreaties that he would
accept of more observing with a touch of Yorkshire caution that if he didnt
spend it all he could put the surplus by till he had an opportunity of
remitting it carriage free was fain to content himself
»Tak that bit o timber to help thee on wi mun« he added pressing his
stick on Nicholas and giving his hand another squeeze »keep a good heart and
bless thee Beatten the schoolmeasther Cod its the best thing ave heerd this
twonty year«
So saying and indulging with more delicacy than might have been expected
from him in another series of loud laughs for the purpose of avoiding the
thanks which Nicholas poured forth John Browdie set spurs to his horse and
went off at a smart canter looking back from time to time as Nicholas stood
gazing after him and waving his hand cheerily as if to encourage him on his
way Nicholas watched the horse and rider until they disappeared over the brow
of a distant hill and then set forward on his journey
He did not travel far that afternoon for by this time it was nearly dark
and there had been a heavy fall of snow which not only rendered the way
toilsome but the track uncertain and difficult to find after daylight save by
experienced wayfarers He lay that night at a cottage where beds were let at
a cheap rate to the more humble class of travellers and rising betimes next
morning made his way before night to Boroughbridge Passing through that town
in search of some cheap restingplace he stumbled upon an empty barn within a
couple of hundred yards of the road side in a warm corner of which he
stretched his weary limbs and soon fell asleep
When he awoke next morning and tried to recollect his dreams which had
been all connected with his recent sojourn at Dotheboys Hall he sat up rubbed
his eyes and stared not with the most composed countenance possible at some
motionless object which seemed to be stationed within a few yards in front of
him
»Strange« cried Nicholas »can this be some lingering creation of the
visions that have scarcely left me It cannot be real and yet I I am awake
Smike«
The form moved rose advanced and dropped upon its knees at his feet It
was Smike indeed
»Why do you kneel to me« said Nicholas hastily raising him
»To go with you anywhere everywhere to the worlds end to the
churchyard grave« replied Smike clinging to his hand »Let me oh do let me
You are my home my kind friend take me with you pray«
»I am a friend who can do little for you« said Nicholas kindly »How came
you here«
He had followed him it seemed had never lost sight of him all the way had
watched while he slept and when he halted for refreshment and had feared to
appear before lest he should be sent back He had not intended to appear now
but Nicholas had awakened more suddenly than he looked for and he had had no
time to conceal himself
»Poor fellow« said Nicholas »your hard fate denies you any friend but one
and he is nearly as poor and helpless as yourself«
»May I may I go with you« asked Smike timidly »I will be your faithful
hardworking servant I will indeed I want no clothes« added the poor
creature drawing his rags together »these will do very well I only want to be
near you«
»And you shall« cried Nicholas »And the world shall deal by you as it does
by me till one or both of us shall quit it for a better Come«
With these words he strapped his burden on his shoulders and taking his
stick in one hand extended the other to his delighted charge and so they
passed out of the old barn together
Chapter XIV
Having the Misfortune to Treat of None but Common People Is Necessarily of a
Mean and Vulgar Character
In that quarter of London in which Golden Square is situated there is a bygone
faded tumbledown street with two irregular rows of tall meagre houses which
seem to have stared each other out of countenance years ago The very chimneys
appear to have grown dismal and melancholy from having had nothing better to
look at than the chimneys over the way Their tops are battered and broken and
blackened with smoke and here and there some taller stack than the rest
inclining heavily to one side and toppling over the roof seems to meditate
taking revenge for half a centurys neglect by crushing the inhabitants of the
garrets beneath
The fowls who peck about the kennels jerking their bodies hither and
thither with a gait which none but town fowls are ever seen to adopt and which
any country cock or hen would be puzzled to understand are perfectly in keeping
with the crazy habitations of their owners Dingy illplumed drowsy flutterers
sent like many of the neighbouring children to get a livelihood in the
streets they hop from stone to stone in forlorn search of some hidden eatable
in the mud and can scarcely raise a crow among them The only one with anything
approaching to a voice is an aged bantam at the bakers and even he is hoarse
in consequence of bad living in his last place
To judge from the size of the houses they have been at one time tenanted
by persons of better condition than their present occupants but they are now
let off by the week in floors or rooms and every door has almost as many
plates or bellhandles as there are apartments within The windows are for the
same reason sufficiently diversified in appearance being ornamented with every
variety of common blind and curtain that can easily be imagined while every
doorway is blocked up and rendered nearly impassable by a motley collection of
children and porter pots of all sizes from the baby in arms and the halfpint
pot to the fullgrown girl and halfgallon can
In the parlour of one of these houses which was perhaps a thought dirtier
than any of its neighbours which exhibited more bellhandles children and
porter pots and caught in all its freshness the first gust of the thick black
smoke that poured forth night and day from a large brewery hard by hung a
bill announcing that there was yet one room to let within its walls though on
what story the vacant room could be regard being had to the outward tokens of
many lodgers which the whole front displayed from the mangle in the kitchen
window to the flowerpots on the parapet it would have been beyond the power
of a calculating boy to discover
The common stairs of this mansion were bare and carpetless but a curious
visitor who had to climb his way to the top might have observed that there were
not wanting indications of the progressive poverty of the inmates although
their rooms were shut Thus the firstfloor lodgers being flush of furniture
kept an old mahogany table real mahogany on the landingplace outside which
was only taken in when occasion required On the second story the spare
furniture dwindled down to a couple of old deal chairs of which one belonging
to the back room was shorn of a leg and bottomless The story above boasted no
greater excess than a wormeaten washtub and the garret landingplace
displayed no costlier articles than two crippled pitchers and some broken
blackingbottles
It was on this garret landingplace that a hardfeatured squarefaced man
elderly and shabby stopped to unlock the door of the front attic into which
having surmounted the task of turning the rusty key in its still more rusty
wards he walked with the air of legal owner
This person wore a wig of short coarse red hair which he took off with
his hat and hung upon a nail Having adopted in its place a dirty cotton
nightcap and groped about in the dark till he found a remnant of candle he
knocked at the partition which divided the two garrets and inquired in a loud
voice whether Mr Noggs had a light
The sounds that came back were stifled by the lath and plaster and it
seemed moreover as though the speaker had uttered them from the interior of a
mug or other drinking vessel but they were in the voice of Newman and conveyed
a reply in the affirmative
»A nasty night Mr Noggs« said the man in the nightcap stepping in to
light his candle
»Does it rain« asked Newman
»Does it« replied the other pettishly »I am wet through«
»It doesnt take much to wet you and me through Mr Crowl« said Newman
laying his hand upon the lappel of his threadbare coat
»Well and that makes it the more vexatious« observed Mr Crowl in the
same pettish tone
Uttering a low querulous growl the speaker whose harsh countenance was the
very epitome of selfishness raked the scanty fire nearly out of the grate and
emptying the glass which Noggs had pushed towards him inquired where he kept
his coals
Newman Noggs pointed to the bottom of a cupboard and Mr Crowl seizing the
shovel threw on half the stock which Noggs very deliberately took off again
without saying a word
»You have not turned saving at this time of day I hope« said Crowl
Newman pointed to the empty glass as though it were a sufficient refutation
of the charge and briefly said that he was going down stairs to supper
»To the Kenwigses« asked Crowl
Newman nodded assent
»Think of that now« said Crowl »If I didnt thinking that you were
certain not to go because you said you wouldnt tell Kenwigs I couldnt come
and make up my mind to spend the evening with you«
»I was obliged to go« said Newman »They would have me«
»Well but whats to become of me« urged the selfish man who never thought
of anybody else »Its all your fault Ill tell you what Ill sit by your
fire till you come back again«
Newman cast a despairing glance at his small store of fuel but not having
the courage to say no a word which in all his life he never had said at the
right time either to himself or any one else gave way to the proposed
arrangement Mr Crowl immediately went about making himself as comfortable
with Newman Noggss means as circumstances would admit of his being made
The lodgers to whom Crowl had made allusion under the designation of the
Kenwigses were the wife and olive branches of one Mr Kenwigs a turner in
ivory who was looked upon as a person of some consideration on the premises
inasmuch as he occupied the whole of the first floor comprising a suite of two
rooms Mrs Kenwigs too was quite a lady in her manners and of a very genteel
family having an uncle who collected a waterrate besides which distinction
the two eldest of her little girls went twice a week to a dancing school in the
neighbourhood and had flaxen hair tied with blue ribands hanging in luxuriant
pigtails down their backs and wore little white trousers with frills round the
ancles for all of which reasons and many more equally valid but too numerous
to mention Mrs Kenwigs was considered a very desirable person to know and was
the constant theme of all the gossips in the street and even three or four
doors round the corner at both ends
It was the anniversary of that happy day on which the church of England as
by law established had bestowed Mrs Kenwigs upon Mr Kenwigs and in grateful
commemoration of the same Mrs Kenwigs had invited a few select friends to
cards and a supper in the first floor and had put on a new gown to receive them
in which gown being of a flaming colour and made upon a juvenile principle
was so successful that Mr Kenwigs said the eight years of matrimony and the
five children seemed all a dream and Mrs Kenwigs younger and more blooming
than on the very first Sunday he had kept company with her
Beautiful as Mrs Kenwigs looked when she was dressed though and so stately
that you would have supposed she had a cook and housemaid at least and nothing
to do but order them about she had a world of trouble with the preparations
more indeed than she being of a delicate and genteel constitution could have
sustained had not the pride of housewifery upheld her At last however all
the things that had to be got together were got together and all the things
that had to be got out of the way were got out of the way and everything was
ready and the collector himself having promised to come fortune smiled upon
the occasion
The party was admirably selected There were first of all Mr Kenwigs and
Mrs Kenwigs and four olive Kenwigses who sat up to supper firstly because it
was but right that they should have a treat on such a day and secondly because
their going to bed in presence of the company would have been inconvenient
not to say improper Then there was a young lady who had made Mrs Kenwigss
dress and who it was the most convenient thing in the world living in the
twopair back gave up her bed to the baby and got a little girl to watch it
Then to match this young lady was a young man who had known Mr Kenwigs when
he was a bachelor and was much esteemed by the ladies as bearing the
reputation of a rake To these were added a newlymarried couple who had
visited Mr and Mrs Kenwigs in their courtship and a sister of Mrs Kenwigss
who was quite a beauty besides whom there was another young man supposed to
entertain honourable designs upon the lady last mentioned and Mr Noggs who
was a genteel person to ask because he had been a gentleman once There were
also an elderly lady from the back parlour and one more young lady who next
to the collector perhaps was the great lion of the party being the daughter of
a theatrical fireman who went on in the pantomime and had the greatest turn
for the stage that was ever known being able to sing and recite in a manner
that brought the tears into Mrs Kenwigss eyes There was only one drawback
upon the pleasure of seeing such friends and that was that the lady in the
back parlour who was very fat and turned of sixty came in a low bookmuslin
dress and short kid gloves which so exasperated Mrs Kenwigs that that lady
assured her visitors in private that if it hadnt happened that the supper was
cooking at the backparlour grate at that moment she certainly would have
requested its representative to withdraw
»My dear« said Mr Kenwigs »wouldnt it be better to begin a round game«
»Kenwigs my dear« returned his wife »I am surprised at you Would you
begin without my uncle«
»I forgot the collector« said Kenwigs »oh no that would never do«
»Hes so particular« said Mrs Kenwigs turning to the other married lady
»that if we began without him I should be out of his will for ever«
»Dear« cried the married lady
»Youve no idea what he is« replied Mrs Kenwigs »and yet as good a
creature as ever breathed«
»The kindesthearted man as ever was« said Kenwigs
»It goes to his heart I believe to be forced to cut the water off when
the people dont pay« observed the bachelor friend intending a joke
»George« said Mr Kenwigs solemnly »none of that if you please«
»It was only my joke« said the friend abashed
»George« rejoined Mr Kenwigs »a joke is a wery good thing a wery good
thing but when that joke is made at the expense of Mrs Kenwigss feelings I
set my face against it A man in public life expects to be sneered at it is
the fault of his elewated sitiwation and not of himself Mrs Kenwigss
relation is a public man and that he knows George and that he can bear but
putting Mrs Kenwigs out of the question if I could put Mrs Kenwigs out of the
question on such an occasion as this I have the honour to be connected with
the collector by marriage and I cannot allow these remarks in my « Mr Kenwigs
was going to say »house« but he rounded the sentence with »apartments«
At the conclusion of these observations which drew forth evidences of acute
feeling from Mrs Kenwigs and had the intended effect of impressing the company
with a deep sense of the collectors dignity a ring was heard at the bell
»Thats him« whispered Mr Kenwigs greatly excited »Morleena my dear
run down and let your uncle in and kiss him directly you get the door open
Hem Lets be talking«
Adopting Mr Kenwigss suggestion the company spoke very loudly to look
easy and unembarrassed and almost as soon as they had begun to do so a short
old gentleman in drabs and gaiters with a face that might have been carved out
of lignum vitæ for anything that appeared to the contrary was led playfully in
by Miss Morleena Kenwigs regarding whose uncommon Christian name it may be here
remarked that it had been invented and composed by Mrs Kenwigs previous to her
first lyingin for the special distinction of her eldest child in case it
should prove a daughter
»Oh uncle I am so glad to see you« said Mrs Kenwigs kissing the
collector affectionately on both cheeks »So glad«
»Many happy returns of the day my dear« replied the collector returning
the compliment
Now this was an interesting thing Here was a collector of waterrates
without his book without his pen and ink without his double knock without his
intimidation kissing actually kissing an agreeable female and leaving
taxes summonses notices that he had called or announcements that he would
never call again for two quarters due wholly out of the question It was
pleasant to see how the company looked on quite absorbed in the sight and to
behold the nods and winks with which they expressed their gratification at
finding so much humanity in a taxgatherer
»Where will you sit uncle« said Mrs Kenwigs in the full glow of family
pride which the appearance of her distinguished relation occasioned
»Anywheres my dear« said the collector »I am not particular«
Not particular What a meek collector If he had been an author who knew
his place he couldnt have been more humble
»Mr Lillyvick« said Kenwigs addressing the collector »some friends here
sir are very anxious for the honour of thank you Mr and Mrs Cutler Mr
Lillyvick«
»Proud to know you sir« said Mr Cutler »Ive heerd of you very often«
These were not mere words of ceremony for Mr Cutler having kept house in Mr
Lillyvicks parish had heard of him very often indeed His attention in calling
had been quite extraordinary
»George you know I think Mr Lillyvick« said Kenwigs »lady from down
stairs Mr Lillyvick Mr Snewkes Mr Lillyvick Miss Green Mr Lillyvick
Mr Lillyvick Miss Petowker of the Theatre Royal Drury Lane Very glad to
make two public characters acquainted Mrs Kenwigs my dear will you sort the
counters«
Mrs Kenwigs with the assistance of Newman Noggs who as he performed
sundry little acts of kindness for the children at all times and seasons was
humoured in his request to be taken no notice of and was merely spoken about
in a whisper as the decayed gentleman did as she was desired and the greater
part of the guests sat down to speculation while Newman himself Mrs Kenwigs
and Miss Petowker of the Theatre Royal Drury Lane looked after the
suppertable
While the ladies were thus busying themselves Mr Lillyvick was intent upon
the game in progress and as all should be fish that comes to a
watercollectors net the dear old gentleman was by no means scrupulous in
appropriating to himself the property of his neighbours which on the contrary
he abstracted whenever an opportunity presented itself smiling goodhumouredly
all the while and making so many condescending speeches to the owners that
they were delighted with his amiability and thought in their hearts that he
deserved to be Chancellor of the Exchequer at least
After a great deal of trouble and the administration of many slaps on the
head to the infant Kenwigses whereof two of the most rebellious were summarily
banished the cloth was laid with much elegance and a pair of boiled fowls a
large piece of pork applepie potatoes and greens were served at sight of
which the worthy Mr Lillyvick vented a great many witticisms and plucked up
amazingly to the immense delight and satisfaction of the whole body of
admirers
Very well and very fast the supper went off no more serious difficulties
occurring than those which arose from the incessant demand for clean knives and
forks which made poor Mrs Kenwigs wish more than once that private society
adopted the principle of schools and required that every guest should bring his
own knife fork and spoon which doubtless would be a great accommodation in
many cases and to no one more so than to the lady and gentleman of the house
especially if the school principle were carried out to the full extent and the
articles were expected as a matter of delicacy not to be taken away again
Everybody having eaten everything the table was cleared in a most alarming
hurry and with great noise and the spirits whereat the eyes of Newman Noggs
glistened being arranged in order with water both hot and cold the party
composed themselves for conviviality Mr Lillyvick being stationed in a large
armchair by the fireside and the four little Kenwigses disposed on a small
form in front of the company with their flaxen tails towards them and their
faces to the fire an arrangement which was no sooner perfected than Mrs
Kenwigs was overpowered by the feelings of a mother and fell upon the left
shoulder of Mr Kenwigs dissolved in tears
»They are so beautiful« said Mrs Kenwigs sobbing
»Oh dear« said all the ladies »so they are its very natural you should
feel proud of that but dont give way dont«
»I can not help it and it dont signify« sobbed Mrs Kenwigs »oh
theyre too beautiful to live much too beautiful«
On hearing this alarming presentiment of their being doomed to an early
death in the flower of their infancy all four little girls raised a hideous
cry and burying their heads in their mothers lap simultaneously screamed
until the eight flaxen tails vibrated again Mrs Kenwigs meanwhile clasping
them alternately to her bosom with attitudes expressive of distraction which
Miss Petowker herself might have copied
At length the anxious mother permitted herself to be soothed into a more
tranquil state and the little Kenwigses being also composed were distributed
among the company to prevent the possibility of Mrs Kenwigs being again
overcome by the blaze of their combined beauty This done the ladies and
gentlemen united in prophesying that they would live for many many years and
that there was no occasion at all for Mrs Kenwigs to distress herself which
in good truth there did not appear to be the loveliness of the children by no
means justifying her apprehensions
»This day eight year« said Mr Kenwigs after a pause »Dear me ah«
This reflection was echoed by all present who said »Ah« first and »dear
me« afterwards
»I was younger then« tittered Mrs Kenwigs
»No« said the collector
»Certainly not« added everybody
»I remember my niece« said Mr Lillyvick surveying his audience with a
grave air »I remember her on that very afternoon when she first acknowledged
to her mother a partiality for Kenwigs Mother she says I love him«
»Adore him I said uncle« interposed Mrs Kenwigs
»Love him I think my dear« said the collector firmly
»Perhaps you are right uncle« replied Mrs Kenwigs submissively »I
thought it was adore«
»Love my dear« retorted Mr Lillyvick »Mother she says I love him What
do I hear cries her mother and instantly falls into strong conwulsions«
A general exclamation of astonishment burst from the company
»Into strong conwulsions« repeated Mr Lillyvick regarding them with a
rigid look »Kenwigs will excuse my saying in the presence of friends that
there was a very great objection to him on the ground that he was beneath the
family and would disgrace it You remember Kenwigs«
»Certainly« replied that gentleman in no way displeased at the
reminiscence inasmuch as it proved beyond all doubt what a high family Mrs
Kenwigs came of
»I shared in that feeling« said Mr Lillyvick »perhaps it was natural
perhaps it wasnt«
A gentle murmur seemed to say that in one of Mr Lillyvicks station the
objection was not only natural but highly praiseworthy
»I came round to him in time« said Mr Lillyvick »After they were married
and there was no help for it I was one of the first to say that Kenwigs must be
taken notice of The family did take notice of him in consequence and on my
representation and I am bound to say and proud to say that I have always
found him a very honest wellbehaved upright respectable sort of man
Kenwigs shake hands«
»I am proud to do it sir« said Mr Kenwigs
»So am I Kenwigs« rejoined Mr Lillyvick
»A very happy life I have led with your niece sir« said Kenwigs
»It would have been your own fault if you had not sir« remarked Mr
Lillyvick
»Morleena Kenwigs« cried her mother at this crisis much affected »kiss
your dear uncle«
The young lady did as she was requested and the three other little girls
were successively hoisted up to the collectors countenance and subjected to
the same process which was afterwards repeated on them by the majority of those
present
»Oh dear Mrs Kenwigs« said Miss Petowker »while Mr Noggs is making that
punch to drink happy returns in do let Morleena go through that figure dance
before Mr Lillyvick«
»No no my dear« replied Mrs Kenwigs »it will only worry my uncle«
»It cant worry him I am sure« said Miss Petowker »You will be very much
pleased wont you sir«
»That I am sure I shall« replied the collector glancing at the
punchmixer
»Well then Ill tell you what« said Mrs Kenwigs »Morleena shall do the
steps if uncle can persuade Miss Petowker to recite us the BloodDrinkers
Burial afterwards«
There was a great clapping of hands and stamping of feet at this
proposition the subject whereof gently inclined her head several times in
acknowledgment of the reception
»You know« said Miss Petowker reproachfully »that I dislike doing
anything professional in private parties«
»Oh but not here« said Mrs Kenwigs »We are all so very friendly and
pleasant that you might as well be going through it in your own room besides
the occasion «
»I cant resist that« interrupted Miss Petowker »anything in my humble
power I shall be delighted to do«
Mrs Kenwigs and Miss Petowker had arranged a small programme of the
entertainments between them of which this was the prescribed order but they
had settled to have a little pressing on both sides because it looked more
natural The company being all ready Miss Petowker hummed a tune and Morleena
danced a dance having previously had the soles of her shoes chalked with as
much care as if she were going on the tightrope It was a very beautiful
figure comprising a great deal of work for the arms and was received with
unbounded applause
»If I was blessed with a a child « said Miss Petowker blushing »of such
genius as that I would have her out at the Opera instantly«
Mrs Kenwigs sighed and looked at Mr Kenwigs who shook his head and
observed that he was doubtful about it
»Kenwigs is afraid« said Mrs K
»What of« inquired Miss Petowker »not of her failing«
»Oh no« replied Mrs Kenwigs »but if she grew up what she is now only
think of the young dukes and marquises«
»Very right« said the collector
»Still« submitted Miss Petowker »if she took a proper pride in herself
you know «
»Theres a good deal in that« observed Mrs Kenwigs looking at her
husband
»I only know « faltered Miss Petowker »it may be no rule to be sure
but I have never found any inconvenience or unpleasantness of that sort«
Mr Kenwigs with becoming gallantry said that settled the question at
once and that he would take the subject into his serious consideration This
being resolved upon Miss Petowker was entreated to begin the BloodDrinkers
Burial to which end that young lady let down her back hair and taking up her
position at the other end of the room with the bachelor friend posted in a
corner to rush out at the cue in death expire and catch her in his arms when
she died raving mad went through the performance with extraordinary spirit and
to the great terror of the little Kenwigses who were all but frightened into
fits
The ecstacies consequent upon the effort had not yet subsided and Newman
who had not been thoroughly sober at so late an hour for a long long time had
not yet been able to put in a word of announcement that the punch was ready
when a hasty knock was heard at the roomdoor which elicited a shriek from Mrs
Kenwigs who immediately divined that the baby had fallen out of bed
»Who is that« demanded Mr Kenwigs sharply
»Dont be alarmed its only me« said Crowl looking in in his nightcap
»The baby is very comfortable for I peeped into the room as I came down and
its fast asleep and so is the girl and I dont think the candle will set fire
to the bedcurtain unless a draught was to get into the room its Mr Noggs
thats wanted«
»Me« cried Newman much astonished
»Why it is a queer hour isnt it« replied Crowl who was not best pleased
at the prospect of losing his fire »and they are queerlooking people too all
covered with rain and mud Shall I tell them to go away«
»No« said Newman rising »People How many«
»Two« rejoined Crowl
»Want me By name« asked Newman
»By name« replied Crowl »Mr Newman Noggs as pat as need be«
Newman reflected for a few seconds and then hurried away muttering that he
would be back directly He was as good as his word for in an exceedingly short
time he burst into the room and seizing without a word of apology or
explanation a lighted candle and tumbler of hot punch from the table darted
away like a madman
»What the deuce is the matter with him« exclaimed Crowl throwing the door
open »Hark Is there any noise above«
The guests rose in great confusion and looking in each others faces with
much perplexity and some fear stretched their necks forward and listened
attentively
Chapter XV
Acquaints the Reader with the Cause and Origin of the Interruption Described in
the Last Chapter and with Some Other Matters Necessary to Be Known
Newman Noggs scrambled in violent haste up stairs with the steaming beverage
which he had so unceremoniously snatched from the table of Mr Kenwigs and
indeed from the very grasp of the waterrate collector who was eyeing the
contents of the tumbler at the moment of its unexpected abstraction with
lively marks of pleasure visible in his countenance He bore his prize straight
to his own back garret where footsore and nearly shoeless wet dirty jaded
and disfigured with every mark of fatiguing travel sat Nicholas and Smike at
once the cause and partner of his toil both perfectly worn out by their
unwonted and protracted exertion
Newmans first act was to compel Nicholas with gentle force to swallow
half of the punch at a breath nearly boiling as it was and his next to pour
the remainder down the throat of Smike who never having tasted anything
stronger than aperient medicine in his whole life exhibited various odd
manifestations of surprise and delight during the passage of the liquor down
his throat and turned up his eyes most emphatically when it was all gone
»You are wet through« said Newman passing his hand hastily over the coat
which Nicholas had thrown off »and I I havent even a change« he added
with a wistful glance at the shabby clothes he wore himself
»I have dry clothes or at least such as will serve my turn well in my
bundle« replied Nicholas »If you look so distressed to see me you will add to
the pain I feel already at being compelled for one night to cast myself upon
your slender means for aid and shelter«
Newman did not look the less distressed to hear Nicholas talking in this
strain but upon his young friend grasping him heartily by the hand and
assuring him that nothing but implicit confidence in the sincerity of his
professions and kindness of feeling towards himself would have induced him on
any consideration even to have made him acquainted with his arrival in London
Mr Noggs brightened up again and went about making such arrangements as were
in his power for the comfort of his visitors with extreme alacrity
These were simple enough poor Newmans means halting at a very considerable
distance short of his inclinations but slight as they were they were not made
without much bustling and running about As Nicholas had husbanded his scanty
stock of money so well that it was not yet quite expended a supper of bread and
cheese with some cold beef from the cooks shop was soon placed upon the
table and these viands being flanked by a bottle of spirits and a pot of
porter there was no ground for apprehension on the score of hunger or thirst
at all events Such preparations as Newman had it in his power to make for the
accommodation of his guests during the night occupied no very great time in
completing and as he had insisted as an express preliminary that Nicholas
should change his clothes and that Smike should invest himself in his solitary
coat which no entreaties would dissuade him from stripping off for the
purpose the travellers partook of their frugal fare with more satisfaction
than one of them at least had derived from many a better meal
They then drew near the fire which Newman Noggs had made up as well as he
could after the inroads of Crowl upon the fuel and Nicholas who had hitherto
been restrained by the extreme anxiety of his friend that he should refresh
himself after his journey now pressed him with earnest questions concerning his
mother and sister
»Well« replied Newman with his accustomed taciturnity »both well«
»They are living in the city still« inquired Nicholas
»They are« said Newman
»And my sister« added Nicholas »Is she still engaged in the business
which she wrote to tell me she thought she should like so much«
Newman opened his eyes rather wider than usual but merely replied by a
gasp which according to the action of the head that accompanied it was
interpreted by his friends as meaning yes or no In the present instance the
pantomime consisted of a nod and not a shake so Nicholas took the answer as a
favourable one
»Now listen to me« said Nicholas laying his hand on Newmans shoulder
»Before I would make an effort to see them I deemed it expedient to come to
you lest by gratifying my own selfish desire I should inflict an injury upon
them which I can never repair What has my uncle heard from Yorkshire«
Newman opened and shut his mouth several times as though he were trying
his utmost to speak but could make nothing of it and finally fixed his eyes on
Nicholas with a grim and ghastly stare
»What has he heard« urged Nicholas colouring »You see that I am prepared
to hear the very worst that malice can have suggested Why should you conceal it
from me I must know it sooner or later and what purpose can be gained by
trifling with the matter for a few minutes when half the time would put me in
possession of all that has occurred Tell me at once pray«
»Tomorrow morning« said Newman »hear it tomorrow«
»What purpose would that answer« urged Nicholas
»You would sleep the better« replied Newman
»I should sleep the worse« answered Nicholas impatiently »Sleep
Exhausted as I am and standing in no common need of rest I cannot hope to
close my eyes all night unless you tell me everything«
»And if I should tell you everything« said Newman hesitating
»Why then you may rouse my indignation or wound my pride« rejoined
Nicholas »but you will not break my rest for if the scene were acted over
again I could take no other part than I have taken and whatever consequences
may accrue to myself from it I shall never regret doing as I have done never
if I starve or beg in consequence What is a little poverty or suffering to the
disgrace of the basest and most inhuman cowardice I tell you if I had stood
by tamely and passively I should have hated myself and merited the contempt
of every man in existence The blackhearted scoundrel«
With this gentle allusion to the absent Mr Squeers Nicholas repressed his
rising wrath and relating to Newman exactly what had passed at Dotheboys Hall
entreated him to speak out without more pressing Thus adjured Mr Noggs took
from an old trunk a sheet of paper which appeared to have been scrawled over
in great haste and after sundry extraordinary demonstrations of reluctance
delivered himself in the following terms
»My dear young man you mustnt give way to this sort of thing will never
do you know as to getting on in the world if you take everybodys part
thats illtreated Damn it I am proud to hear of it and would have done it
myself«
Newman accompanied this very unusual outbreak with a violent blow upon the
table as if in the heat of the moment he had mistaken it for the chest or
ribs of Mr Wackford Squeers Having by this open declaration of his feelings
quite precluded himself from offering Nicholas any cautious worldly advice
which had been his first intention Mr Noggs went straight to the point
»The day before yesterday« said Newman »your uncle received this letter I
took a hasty copy of it while he was out Shall I read it«
»If you please« replied Nicholas Newman Noggs accordingly read as follows
»Dotheboys Hall
Thursday Morning
Sir
My pa requests me to write to you the doctors considering it
doubtful whether he will ever recuvver the use of his legs which
prevents his holding a pen
We are in a state of mind beyond everything and my pa is one mask
of brooses both blue and green likewise two forms are steepled in his
Goar We were kimpelled to have him carried down into the kitchen where
he now lays You will judge from this that he has been brought very low
When your nevew that you recommended for a teacher had done this to
my pa and jumped upon his body with his feet and also langwedge which I
will not pollewt my pen with describing he assaulted my ma with
dreadful violence dashed her to the earth and drove her back comb
several inches into her head A very little more and it must have
entered her skull We have a medical certifiket that if it had the
tortershell would have affected the brain
Me and my brother were then the victims of his feury since which we
have suffered very much which leads us to the arrowing belief that we
have received some injury in our insides especially as no marks of
violence are visible externally I am screaming out loud all the time I
write and so is my brother which takes off my attention rather and I
hope will excuse mistakes
The monster having sasiated his thirst for blood ran away taking
with him a boy of desperate caracter that he had excited to rebellyon
and a garnet ring belonging to my ma and not having been apprehended by
the constables is supposed to have been took up by some stagecoach My
pa begs that if he comes to you the ring may be returned and that you
will let the thief and assassin go as if we prosecuted him he would
only be transported and if he is let go he is sure to be hung before
long which will save us trouble and be much more satisfactory Hoping to
hear from you when convenient
I remain
Yours and cetrer
FANNY SQUEERS
PS I pity his ignorance and despise him«
A profound silence succeeded to the reading of this choice epistle during which
Newman Noggs as he folded it up gazed with a kind of grotesque pity at the boy
of desperate character therein referred to who having no more distinct
perception of the matter in hand than that he had been the unfortunate cause of
heaping trouble and falsehood upon Nicholas sat mute and dispirited with a
most woebegone and heartstricken look
»Mr Noggs« said Nicholas after a few moments reflection »I must go out
at once«
»Go out« cried Newman
»Yes« said Nicholas »to Golden Square Nobody who knows me would believe
this story of the ring but it may suit the purpose or gratify the hatred of
Mr Ralph Nickleby to feign to attach credence to it It is due not to him
but to myself that I should state the truth and moreover I have a word or
two to exchange with him which will not keep cool«
»They must« said Newman
»They must not indeed« rejoined Nicholas firmly as he prepared to leave
the house
»Hear me speak« said Newman planting himself before his impetuous young
friend »He is not there He is away from town He will not be back for three
days and I know that letter will not be answered before he returns«
»Are you sure of this« asked Nicholas chafing violently and pacing the
narrow room with rapid strides
»Quite« rejoined Newman »He had hardly read it when he was called away
Its contents are known to nobody but himself and us«
»Are you certain« demanded Nicholas precipitately »not even to my mother
or sister If I thought that they I will go there I must see them Which is
the way Where is it«
»Now be advised by me« said Newman speaking for the moment in his
earnestness like any other man »make no effort to see even them till he
comes home I know the man Do not seem to have been tampering with anybody
When he returns go straight to him and speak as boldly as you like Guessing
at the real truth he knows it as well as you or I Trust him for that«
»You mean well to me and should know him better than I can« replied
Nicholas after some consideration »Well let it be so«
Newman who had stood during the foregoing conversation with his back
planted against the door ready to oppose any egress from the apartment by
force if necessary resumed his seat with much satisfaction and as the water
in the kettle was by this time boiling made a glassful of spirits and water for
Nicholas and a cracked mugfull for the joint accommodation of himself and
Smike of which the two partook in great harmony while Nicholas leaning his
head upon his hand remained buried in melancholy meditation
Meanwhile the company below stairs after listening attentively and not
hearing any noise which would justify them in interfering for the gratification
of their curiosity returned to the chamber of the Kenwigses and employed
themselves in hazarding a great variety of conjectures relative to the cause of
Mr Noggss sudden disappearance and detention
»Lor Ill tell you what« said Mrs Kenwigs »Suppose it should be an
express sent up to say that his property has all come back again«
»Dear me« said Mr Kenwigs »its not impossible Perhaps in that case
wed better send up and ask if he wont take a little more punch«
»Kenwigs« said Mr Lillyvick in a loud voice »Im surprised at you«
»Whats the matter sir« asked Mr Kenwigs with becoming submission to the
collector of waterrates
»Making such a remark as that sir« replied Mr Lillyvick angrily »He has
had punch already has he not sir I consider the way in which that punch was
cut off if I may use the expression highly disrespectful to this company
scandalous perfectly scandalous It may be the custom to allow such things in
this house but its not the kind of behaviour that Ive been used to see
displayed and so I dont mind telling you Kenwigs A gentleman has a glass of
punch before him to which he is just about to set his lips when another
gentleman comes and collars that glass of punch without a with your leave or
by your leave and carries that glass of punch away This may be good manners
I dare say it is but I dont understand it thats all and whats more I
dont care if I never do Its my way to speak my mind Kenwigs and that is my
mind and if you dont like it its past my regular time for going to bed and
I can find my way home without making it later«
Here was an untoward event The collector had sat swelling and fuming in
offended dignity for some minutes and had now fairly burst out The great man
the rich relation the unmarried uncle who had it in his power to make
Morleena an heiress and the very baby a legatee was offended Gracious
Powers where was this to end
»I am very sorry sir« said Mr Kenwigs humbly
»Dont tell me youre sorry« retorted Mr Lillyvick with much sharpness
»You should have prevented it then«
The company were quite paralysed by this domestic crash The back parlour
sat with her mouth wide open staring vacantly at the collector in a stupor of
dismay the other guests were scarcely less overpowered by the great mans
irritation Mr Kenwigs not being skilful in such matters only fanned the
flame in attempting to extinguish it
»I didnt think of it I am sure sir« said that gentleman »I didnt
suppose that such a little thing as a glass of punch would have put you out of
temper«
»Out of temper What the devil do you mean by that piece of impertinence
Mr Kenwigs« said the collector »Morleena child give me my hat«
»Oh youre not going Mr Lillyvick sir« interposed Miss Petowker with
her most bewitching smile
But still Mr Lillyvick regardless of the siren cried obdurately
»Morleena my hat« upon the fourth repetition of which demand Mrs Kenwigs
sunk back in her chair with a cry that might have softened a waterbutt not to
say a watercollector while the four little girls privately instructed to that
effect clasped their uncles drab shorts in their arms and prayed him in
imperfect English to remain
»Why should I stop here my dears« said Mr Lillyvick »Im not wanted
here«
»Oh do not speak so cruelly uncle« sobbed Mrs Kenwigs »unless you wish
to kill me«
»I shouldnt wonder if some people were to say I did« replied Mr
Lillyvick glancing angrily at Kenwigs »Out of temper«
»Oh I cannot bear to see him look so at my husband« cried Mrs Kenwigs
»Its so dreadful in families Oh«
»Mr Lillyvick« said Kenwigs »I hope for the sake of your niece that you
wont object to be reconciled«
The collectors features relaxed as the company added their entreaties to
those of his nephewinlaw He gave up his hat and held out his hand
»There Kenwigs« said Mr Lillyvick »and let me tell you at the same
time to show you how much out of temper I was that if I had gone away without
another word it would have made no difference respecting that pound or two
which I shall leave among your children when I die«
»Morleena Kenwigs« cried her mother in a torrent of affection »Go down
upon your knees to your dear uncle and beg him to love you all his life
through for hes more a angel than a man and Ive always said so«
Miss Morleena approaching to do homage in compliance with this injunction
was summarily caught up and kissed by Mr Lillyvick and thereupon Mrs Kenwigs
darted forward and kissed the collector and an irrepressible murmur of applause
broke from the company who had witnessed his magnanimity
The worthy gentleman then became once more the life and soul of the society
being again reinstated in his old post of lion from which high station the
temporary distraction of their thoughts had for a moment dispossessed him
Quadruped lions are said to be savage only when they are hungry biped lions
are rarely sulky longer than when their appetite for distinction remains
unappeased Mr Lillyvick stood higher than ever for he had shown his power
hinted at his property and testamentary intentions gained great credit for
disinterestedness and virtue and in addition to all was finally accommodated
with a much larger tumbler of punch than that which Newman Noggs had so
feloniously made off with
»I say I beg everybodys pardon for intruding again« said Crowl looking
in at this happy juncture »but what a queer business this is isnt it Noggs
has lived in this house now going on for five years and nobody has ever been
to see him before within the memory of the oldest inhabitant«
»Its a strange time of night to be called away sir certainly« said the
collector »and the behaviour of Mr Noggs himself is to say the least of it
mysterious«
»Well so it is« rejoined Crowl »and Ill tell you whats more I think
these two geniuses whoever they are have run away from somewhere«
»What makes you think that sir« demanded the collector who seemed by a
tacit understanding to have been chosen and elected mouthpiece to the company
»You have no reason to suppose that they have run away from anywhere without
paying the rates and taxes due I hope«
Mr Crowl with a look of some contempt was about to enter a general
protest against the payment of rates or taxes under any circumstances when he
was checked by a timely whisper from Kenwigs and several frowns and winks from
Mrs K which providentially stopped him
»Why the fact is« said Crowl who had been listening at Newmans door with
all his might and main »the fact is that they have been talking so loud that
they quite disturbed me in my room and so I couldnt help catching a word here
and a word there and all I heard certainly seemed to refer to their having
bolted from some place or other I dont wish to alarm Mrs Kenwigs but I hope
they havent come from any jail or hospital and brought away a fever or some
unpleasantness of that sort which might be catching for the children«
Mrs Kenwigs was so overpowered by this supposition that it needed all the
tender attentions of Miss Petowker of the Theatre Royal Drury Lane to restore
her to anything like a state of calmness not to mention the assiduity of Mr
Kenwigs who held a fat smellingbottle to his ladys nose until it became
matter of some doubt whether the tears which coursed down her face were the
result of feelings or sal volatile
The ladies having expressed their sympathy singly and separately fell
according to custom into a little chorus of soothing expressions among which
such condolences as »Poor dear« »I should feel just the same if I was her«
»To be sure its a very trying thing« and »Nobody but a mother knows what a
mothers feelings is« were among the most prominent and most frequently
repeated In short the opinion of the company was so clearly manifested that
Mr Kenwigs was on the point of repairing to Mr Noggss room to demand an
explanation and had indeed swallowed a preparatory glass of punch with great
inflexibility and steadiness of purpose when the attention of all present was
diverted by a new and terrible surprise
This was nothing less than the sudden pouring forth of a rapid succession of
the shrillest and most piercing screams from an upper story and to all
appearance from the very twopair back in which the infant Kenwigs was at that
moment enshrined They were no sooner audible than Mrs Kenwigs opining that a
strange cat had come in and sucked the babys breath while the girl was asleep
made for the door wringing her hands and shrieking dismally to the great
consternation and confusion of the company
»Mr Kenwigs see what it is make haste« cried the sister laying violent
hands upon Mrs Kenwigs and holding her back by force »Oh dont twist about
so dear or I can never hold you«
»My baby my blessed blessed blessed blessed baby« screamed Mrs
Kenwigs making every blessed louder than the last »My own darling sweet
innocent Lillyvick Oh let me go to him Let me goooo«
Pending the utterance of these frantic cries and the wails and lamentations
of the four little girls Mr Kenwigs rushed up stairs to the room whence the
sounds proceeded at the door of which he encountered Nicholas with the child
in his arms who darted out with such violence that the anxious father was
thrown down six stairs and alighted on the nearest landingplace before he had
found time to open his mouth to ask what was the matter
»Dont be alarmed« cried Nicholas running down »here it is its all out
its all over pray compose yourselves theres no harm done« and with these
and a thousand other assurances he delivered the baby whom in his hurry he
had carried upside down to Mrs Kenwigs and ran back to assist Mr Kenwigs
who was rubbing his head very hard and looking much bewildered by his tumble
Reassured by this cheering intelligence the company in some degree
recovered from their fears which had been productive of some most singular
instances of a total want of presence of mind thus the bachelor friend had
for a long time supported in his arms Mrs Kenwigss sister instead of Mrs
Kenwigs and the worthy Mr Lillyvick had been actually seen in the
perturbation of his spirits to kiss Miss Petowker several times behind the
room door as calmly as if nothing were going forward
»It is a mere nothing« said Nicholas returning to Mrs Kenwigs »the
little girl who was watching the child being tired I suppose fell asleep and
set her hair on fire«
»Oh you malicious little wretch« cried Mrs Kenwigs impressively shaking
her forefinger at the small unfortunate who might be thirteen years old and
was looking on with a singed head and a frightened face
»I heard her cries« continued Nicholas »and ran down in time to prevent
her setting fire to anything else You may depend upon it that the child is not
hurt for I took it off the bed myself and brought it here to convince you«
This brief explanation over the infant who as he was christened after the
collector rejoiced in the names of Lillyvick Kenwigs was partially suffocated
under the caresses of the audience and squeezed to his mothers bosom until he
roared again The attention of the company was then directed by a natural
transition to the little girl who had had the audacity to burn her hair off
and who after receiving sundry small slaps and pushes from the more energetic
of the ladies was mercifully sent home the ninepence with which she was to
have been rewarded being escheated to the Kenwigs family
»And whatever we are to say to you sir« exclaimed Mrs Kenwigs addressing
young Lillyvicks deliverer »I am sure I dont know«
»You need say nothing at all« replied Nicholas »I have done nothing to
found any very strong claim upon your eloquence I am sure«
»He might have been burnt to death if it hadnt been for you sir«
simpered Miss Petowker
»Not very likely I think« replied Nicholas »for there was abundance of
assistance here which must have reached him before he had been in any danger«
»You will let us drink your health anyvays sir« said Mr Kenwigs
motioning towards the table
» In my absence by all means« rejoined Nicholas with a smile »I have
had a very fatiguing journey and should be most indifferent company a far
greater check upon your merriment than a promoter of it even if I kept awake
which I think very doubtful If you will allow me Ill return to my friend Mr
Noggs who went up stairs again when he found nothing serious had occurred Good
night«
Excusing himself in these terms from joining in the festivities Nicholas
took a most winning farewell of Mrs Kenwigs and the other ladies and retired
after making a very extraordinary impression upon the company
»What a delightful young man« cried Mrs Kenwigs
»Uncommon gentlemanly really« said Mr Kenwigs »Dont you think so Mr
Lillyvick«
»Yes« said the collector with a dubious shrug of his shoulders »He is
gentlemanly very gentlemanly in appearance«
»I hope you dont see anything against him uncle« inquired Mrs Kenwigs
»No my dear« replied the collector »no I trust he may not turn out
well no matter my love to you my dear and long life to the baby«
»Your namesake« said Mrs Kenwigs with a sweet smile
»And I hope a worthy namesake« observed Mr Kenwigs willing to propitiate
the collector »I hope a baby as will never disgrace his godfather and as may
be considered in arter years of a piece with the Lillyvicks whose name he
bears I do say and Mrs Kenwigs is of the same sentiment and feels it as
strong as I do that I consider his being called Lillyvick one of the greatest
blessings and honors of my existence«
»The greatest blessing Kenwigs« murmured the lady
»The greatest blessing« said Mr Kenwigs correcting himself »A blessing
that I hope one of these days I may be able to deserve«
This was a politic stroke of the Kenwigses because it made Mr Lillyvick
the great head and fountain of the babys importance The good gentleman felt
the delicacy and dexterity of the touch and at once proposed the health of the
gentleman name unknown who had signalised himself that night by his coolness
and alacrity
»Who I dont mind saying« observed Mr Lillyvick as a great concession
»is a goodlooking young man enough with manners that I hope his character may
be equal to«
»He has a very nice face and style really« said Mrs Kenwigs
»He certainly has« added Miss Petowker »Theres something in his
appearance quite dear dear whats that word again«
»What word« inquired Mr Lillyvick
»Why dear me how stupid I am« replied Miss Petowker hesitating »What
do you call it when Lords break off doorknockers and beat policemen and play
at coaches with other peoples money and all that sort of thing«
»Aristocratic« suggested the collector
»Ah aristocratic« replied Miss Petowker »something very aristocratic
about him isnt there«
The gentlemen held their peace and smiled at each other as who should say
»Well theres no accounting for tastes« but the ladies resolved unanimously
that Nicholas had an aristocratic air and nobody caring to dispute the
position it was established triumphantly
The punch being by this time drunk out and the little Kenwigses who had
for some time previously held their little eyes open with their little
forefingers becoming fractious and requesting rather urgently to be put to
bed the collector made a move by pulling out his watch and acquainting the
company that it was nigh two oclock whereat some of the guests were surprised
and others shocked and hats and bonnets being groped for under the tables and
in course of time found their owners went away after a vast deal of shaking of
hands and many remarks how they had never spent such a delightful evening and
how they marvelled to find it so late expecting to have heard that it was
halfpast ten at the very latest and how they wished that Mr and Mrs Kenwigs
had a weddingday once a week and how they wondered by what hidden agency Mrs
Kenwigs could possibly have managed so well and a great deal more of the same
kind To all of which flattering expressions Mr and Mrs Kenwigs replied by
thanking every lady and gentleman seriatim for the favour of their company
and hoping they might have enjoyed themselves only half as well as they said
they had
As to Nicholas quite unconscious of the impression he had produced he had
long since fallen asleep leaving Mr Newman Noggs and Smike to empty the spirit
bottle between them and this office they performed with such extreme good will
that Newman was equally at a loss to determine whether he himself was quite
sober and whether he had ever seen any gentleman so heavily drowsily and
completely intoxicated as his new acquaintance
Chapter XVI
Nicholas Seeks to Employ Himself in a New Capacity and Being Unsuccessful
Accepts an Engagement as Tutor in a Private Family
The first care of Nicholas next morning was to look after some room in which
until better times dawned upon him he could contrive to exist, without
trenching upon the hospitality of Newman Noggs who would have slept upon the
stairs with pleasure so that his young friend was accommodated
The vacant apartment to which the bill in the parlour window bore reference
appeared on inquiry to be a small back room on the second floor reclaimed
from the leads and overlooking a sootbespeckled prospect of tiles and
chimneypots For the letting of this portion of the house from week to week on
reasonable terms the parlour lodger was empowered to treat he being deputed by
the landlord to dispose of the rooms as they became vacant and to keep a sharp
lookout that the lodgers didnt run away As a means of securing the punctual
discharge of which last service he was permitted to live rentfree lest he
should at any time be tempted to run away himself
Of this chamber Nicholas became the tenant and having hired a few common
articles of furniture from a neighbouring broker and paid the first weeks hire
in advance out of a small fund raised by the conversion of some spare clothes
into ready money he sat himself down to ruminate upon his prospects which
like the prospect outside his window were sufficiently confined and dingy As
they by no means improved on better acquaintance and as familiarity breeds
contempt he resolved to banish them from his thoughts by dint of hard walking
So taking up his hat and leaving poor Smike to arrange and rearrange the room
with as much delight as if it had been the costliest palace he betook himself
to the streets and mingled with the crowd which thronged them
Although a man may lose a sense of his own importance when he is a mere unit
among a busy throng all utterly regardless of him it by no means follows that
he can dispossess himself with equal facility of a very strong sense of the
importance and magnitude of his cares The unhappy state of his own affairs was
the one idea which occupied the brain of Nicholas walk as fast as he would and
when he tried to dislodge it by speculating on the situation and prospects of
the people who surrounded him he caught himself in a few seconds contrasting
their condition with his own and gliding almost imperceptibly back into his old
train of thought again
Occupied in these reflections as he was making his way along one of the
great public thoroughfares of London he chanced to raise his eyes to a blue
board whereon was inscribed in characters of gold »General Agency Office for
places and situations of all kinds inquire within« It was a shopfront fitted
up with a gauze blind and an inner door and in the window hung a long and
tempting array of written placards announcing vacant places of every grade
from a secretarys to a footboys
Nicholas halted instinctively before this temple of promise and ran his
eye over the capitaltext openings in life which were so profusely displayed
When he had completed his survey he walked on a little way and then back and
then on again at length after pausing irresolutely several times before the
door of the General Agency Office he made up his mind and stepped in
He found himself in a little floorclothed room with a high desk railed off
in one corner behind which sat a lean youth with cunning eyes and a protruding
chin whose performances in capitaltext darkened the window He had a thick
ledger lying open before him and with the fingers of his right hand inserted
between the leaves and his eyes fixed on a very fat old lady in a mobcap
evidently the proprietress of the establishment who was airing herself at the
fire seemed to be only waiting her directions to refer to some entries
contained within its rusty clasps
As there was a board outside which acquainted the public that
servantsofallwork were perpetually in waiting to be hired from ten till four
Nicholas knew at once that some halfdozen strong young women each with pattens
and an umbrella who were sitting upon a form in one corner were in attendance
for that purpose especially as the poor things looked anxious and weary He was
not quite so certain of the callings and stations of two smart young ladies who
were in conversation with the fat lady before the fire until having sat
himself down in a corner and remarked that he would wait until the other
customers had been served the fat lady resumed the dialogue which his entrance
had interrupted
»Cook Tom« said the fat lady still airing herself as aforesaid
»Cook« said Tom turning over some leaves of the ledger »Well«
»Read out an easy place or two« said the fat lady
»Pick out very light ones if you please young man« interposed a genteel
female in shepherdsplaid boots who appeared to be the client
»Mrs Marker« said Tom reading »Russell Place Russell Square offers
eighteen guineas tea and sugar found Two in family and see very little
company Five servants kept No man No followers«
»Oh Lor« tittered the client »That wont do Read another young man will
you«
»Mrs Wrymug« said Tom »Pleasant Place Finsbury Wages twelve guineas
No tea no sugar Serious family «
»Ah you neednt mind reading that« interrupted the client
»Three serious footmen« said Tom impressively
»Three did you say« asked the client in an altered tone
»Three serious footmen« replied Tom »Cook housemaid and nursemaid each
female servant required to join the Little Bethel Congregation three times every
Sunday with a serious footman If the cook is more serious than the footman
she will be expected to improve the footman if the footman is more serious than
the cook he will be expected to improve the cook«
»Ill take the address of that place« said the client »I dont know but
what it mightnt suit me pretty well«
»Heres another« remarked Tom turning over the leaves »Family of Mr
Gallanbile MP Fifteen guineas tea and sugar and servants allowed to see
male cousins if godly Note Cold dinner in the kitchen on the Sabbath Mr
Gallanbile being devoted to the Observance question No victuals whatever
cooked on the Lords Day with the exception of dinner for Mr and Mrs
Gallanbile which being a work of piety and necessity is exempted Mr
Gallanbile dines late on the day of rest in order to prevent the sinfulness of
the cooks dressing herself«
»I dont think thatll answer as well as the other« said the client after
a little whispering with her friend »Ill take the other direction if you
please young man I can but come back again if it dont do«
Tom made out the address as requested and the genteel client having
satisfied the fat lady with a small fee meanwhile went away accompanied by
her friend
As Nicholas opened his mouth to request the young man to turn to letter S
and let him know what secretaryships remained undisposed of there came into the
office an applicant in whose favour he immediately retired and whose
appearance both surprised and interested him
This was a young lady who could be scarcely eighteen of very slight and
delicate figure but exquisitely shaped who walking timidly up to the desk
made an inquiry in a very low tone of voice relative to some situation as
governess or companion to a lady She raised her veil for an instant while
she preferred the inquiry and disclosed a countenance of most uncommon beauty
though shaded by a cloud of sadness which in one so young was doubly
remarkable Having received a card of reference to some person on the books she
made the usual acknowledgment and glided away
She was neatly but very quietly attired so much so indeed that it seemed
as though her dress if it had been worn by one who imparted fewer graces of her
own to it might have looked poor and shabby Her attendant for she had one
was a redfaced roundeyed slovenly girl who from a certain roughness about
the bare arms that peeped from under her draggled shawl and the halfwashedout
traces of smut and blacklead which tattoed her countenance was clearly of a kin
with the servantsofallwork on the form: between whom and herself there had
passed various grins and glances indicative of the freemasonry of the craft
This girl followed her mistress and before Nicholas had recovered from the
first effects of his surprise and admiration the young lady was gone It is not
a matter of such complete and utter improbability as some sober people may
think that he would have followed them out had he not been restrained by what
passed between the fat lady and her bookkeeper
»When is she coming again Tom« asked the fat lady
»Tomorrow morning« replied Tom mending his pen
»Where have you sent her to« asked the fat lady
»Mrs Clarks« replied Tom
»Shell have a nice life of it if she goes there« observed the fat lady
taking a pinch of snuff from a tin box
Tom made no other reply than thrusting his tongue into his cheek and
pointing the feather of his pen towards Nicholas reminders which elicited from
the fat lady an inquiry of »Now sir what can we do for you«
Nicholas briefly replied that he wanted to know whether there was any such
post to be had as secretary or amanuensis to a gentleman
»Any such« rejoined the mistress »a dozen such Ant there Tom«
»I should think so« answered that young gentleman and as he said it he
winked towards Nicholas with a degree of familiarity which he no doubt
intended for a rather flattering compliment but with which Nicholas was most
ungratefully disgusted
Upon reference to the book it appeared that the dozen secretaryships had
dwindled down to one Mr Gregsbury the great member of Parliament of
Manchester Buildings Westminster wanted a young man to keep his papers and
correspondence in order and Nicholas was exactly the sort of young man that Mr
Gregsbury wanted
»I dont know what the terms are as he said hed settle them himself with
the party« observed the fat lady »but they must be pretty good ones because
hes a member of Parliament«
Inexperienced as he was Nicholas did not feel quite assured of the force of
this reasoning or the justice of this conclusion but without troubling himself
to question it he took down the address and resolved to wait upon Mr
Gregsbury without delay
»I dont know what the number is« said Tom »but Manchester Buildings isnt
a large place and if the worst comes to the worst it wont take you very long
to knock at all the doors on both sides of the way till you find him out I say
what a goodlooking gal that was wasnt she«
»What girl« demanded Nicholas sternly
»Oh yes I know what gal eh« whispered Tom shutting one eye and
cocking his chin in the air »You didnt see her you didnt I say dont you
wish you was me when she comes tomorrow morning«
Nicholas looked at the ugly clerk as if he had a mind to reward his
admiration of the young lady by beating the ledger about his ears but he
refrained and strode haughtily out of the office setting at defiance in his
indignation those ancient laws of chivalry which not only made it proper and
lawful for all good knights to hear the praise of the ladies to whom they were
devoted but rendered it incumbent upon them to roam about the world and knock
on the head all such matterof-fact and unpoetical characters as declined to
exalt above all the earth damsels whom they had never chanced to look upon or
hear of as if that were any excuse
Thinking no longer of his own misfortunes but wondering what could be those
of the beautiful girl he had seen Nicholas with many wrong turns and many
inquiries and almost as many misdirections bent his steps towards the place
whither he had been directed
Within the precincts of the ancient city of Westminster and within half a
quarter of a mile of its ancient sanctuary is a narrow and dirty region the
sanctuary of the smaller members of Parliament in modern days It is all
comprised in one street of gloomy lodginghouses from whose windows in
vacationtime there frown long melancholy rows of bills which say as plainly
as did the countenances of their occupiers ranged on ministerial and opposition
benches in the session which slumbers with its fathers »To Let« »To Let« In
busier periods of the year these bills disappear and the houses swarm with
legislators There are legislators in the parlours in the first floor in the
second in the third in the garrets the small apartments reek with the breath
of deputations and delegates In damp weather the place is rendered close by
the steams of moist acts of Parliament and frowsy petitions general postmen
grow faint as they enter its infected limits and shabby figures in quest of
franks flit restlessly to and fro like the troubled ghosts of Complete
Letterwriters departed This is Manchester Buildings and here at all hours of
the night may be heard the rattling of latchkeys in their respective keyholes
with now and then when a gust of wind sweeping across the water which washes
the Buildings feet impels the sound towards its entrance the weak shrill
voice of some young member practising tomorrows speech All the livelong day
there is a grinding of organs and clashing and clanging of little boxes of
music for Manchester Buildings is an eelpot which has no outlet but its
awkward mouth a casebottle which has no thoroughfare and a short and narrow
neck and in this respect it may be typical of the fate of some few among its
more adventurous residents who after wriggling themselves into Parliament by
violent effects and contortions find that it too is no thoroughfare for them
that like Manchester Buildings it leads to nothing beyond itself; and that
they are fain at last to back out no wiser no richer not one whit more
famous than they went in
Into Manchester Buildings Nicholas turned with the address of the great Mr
Gregsbury in his hand As there was a stream of people pouring into a shabby
house not far from the entrance he waited until they had made their way in and
then making up to the servant ventured to inquire if he knew where Mr
Gregsbury lived
The servant was a very pale shabby boy who looked as if he had slept
underground from his infancy as very likely he had »Mr Gregsbury« said he
»Mr Gregsbury lodges here Its all right Come in«
Nicholas thought he might as well get in while he could so in he walked
and he had no sooner done so than the boy shut the door and made off
This was odd enough but what was more embarrassing was that all along the
passage and all along the narrow stairs blocking up the window and making the
dark entry darker still was a confused crowd of persons with great importance
depicted in their looks who were to all appearance waiting in silent
expectation of some coming event From time to time one man would whisper his
neighbour or a little group would whisper together and then the whisperers
would nod fiercely to each other or give their heads a relentless shake as if
they were bent upon doing something very desperate and were determined not to
be put off whatever happened
As a few minutes elapsed without anything occurring to explain this
phenomenon and as he felt his own position a peculiarly uncomfortable one
Nicholas was on the point of seeking some information from the man next him
when a sudden move was visible on the stairs and a voice was heard to cry
»Now gentlemen have the goodness to walk up«
So far from walking up the gentlemen on the stairs began to walk down with
great alacrity and to entreat with extraordinary politeness that the
gentlemen nearest the street would go first the gentlemen nearest the street
retorted with equal courtesy that they couldnt think of such a thing on any
account but they did it without thinking of it inasmuch as the other
gentlemen pressing some halfdozen among whom was Nicholas forward and
closing up behind him pushed them not merely up the stairs but into the very
sittingroom of Mr Gregsbury which they were thus compelled to enter with most
unseemly precipitation and without the means of retreat the press behind them
more than filling the apartment
»Gentlemen« said Mr Gregsbury »you are welcome I am rejoiced to see
you«
For a gentleman who was rejoiced to see a body of visitors Mr Gregsbury
looked as uncomfortable as might be but perhaps this was occasioned by
senatorial gravity and a statesmanlike habit of keeping his feelings under
control He was a tough burly thickheaded gentleman with a loud voice a
pompous manner a tolerable command of sentences with no meaning in them and
in short every requisite for a very good member indeed
»Now gentlemen« said Mr Gregsbury tossing a great bundle of papers into
a wicker basket at his feet and throwing himself back in his chair with his
arms over the elbows »you are dissatisfied with my conduct I see by the
newspapers«
»Yes Mr Gregsbury we are« said a plump old gentleman in a violent heat
bursting out of the throng and planting himself in the front
»Do my eyes deceive me« said Mr Gregsbury looking towards the speaker
»or is that my old friend Pugstyles«
»I am that man and no other sir« replied the plump old gentleman
»Give me your hand my worthy friend« said Mr Gregsbury »Pugstyles my
dear friend I am very sorry to see you here«
»I am very sorry to be here sir« said Mr Pugstyles »but your conduct
Mr Gregsbury has rendered this deputation from your constituents imperatively
necessary«
»My conduct Pugstyles« said Mr Gregsbury looking round upon the
deputation with gracious magnanimity »My conduct has been and ever will be
regulated by a sincere regard for the true and real interests of this great and
happy country Whether I look at home or abroad whether I behold the peaceful
industrious communities of our island home her rivers covered with steamboats
her roads with locomotives her streets with cabs her skies with balloons of a
power and magnitude hitherto unknown in the history of aëronautics in this or
any other nation I say whether I look merely at home or stretching my eyes
farther contemplate the boundless prospect of conquest and possession
achieved by British perseverance and British valour which is outspread before
me I clasp my hands and turning my eyes to the broad expanse above my head
exclaim Thank Heaven I am a Briton«
The time had been when this burst of enthusiasm would have been cheered to
the very echo but now the deputation received it with chilling coldness The
general impression seemed to be that as an explanation of Mr Gregsburys
political conduct it did not enter quite enough into detail and one gentleman
in the rear did not scruple to remark aloud that for his purpose it savoured
rather too much of a gammon tendency
»The meaning of that term gammon« said Mr Gregsbury »is unknown to me
If it means that I grow a little too fervid or perhaps even hyperbolical in
extolling my native land I admit the full justice of the remark I am proud of
this free and happy country My form dilates my eye glistens my breast heaves
my heart swells my bosom burns when I call to mind her greatness and her
glory«
»We wish sir« remarked Mr Pugstyles calmly »to ask you a few
questions«
»If you please gentlemen my time is yours and my countrys and my
countrys « said Mr Gregsbury
This permission being conceded Mr Pugstyles put on his spectacles and
referred to a written paper which he drew from his pocket whereupon nearly
every other member of the deputation pulled a written paper from his pocket to
check Mr Pugstyles off as he read the questions
This done Mr Pugstyles proceeded to business
»Question number one Whether sir you did not give a voluntary pledge
previous to your election that in event of your being returned you would
immediately put down the practice of coughing and groaning in the House of
Commons And whether you did not submit to be coughed and groaned down in the
very first debate of the session and have since made no effort to effect a
reform in this respect Whether you did not also pledge yourself to astonish the
government and make them shrink in their shoes And whether you have astonished
them and made them shrink in their shoes or not«
»Go on to the next one my dear Pugstyles« said Mr Gregsbury
»Have you any explanation to offer with reference to that question sir«
asked Mr Pugstyles
»Certainly not« said Mr Gregsbury
The members of the deputation looked fiercely at each other and afterwards
at the member Dear Pugstyles having taken a very long stare at Mr Gregsbury
over the tops of his spectacles resumed his list of inquiries
»Question number two Whether sir you did not likewise give a voluntary
pledge that you would support your colleague on every occasion and whether you
did not the night before last desert him and vote upon the other side because
the wife of a leader on that other side had invited Mrs Gregsbury to an evening
party«
»Go on« said Mr Gregsbury
»Nothing to say on that either sir« asked the spokesman
»Nothing whatever« replied Mr Gregsbury The deputation who had only seen
him at canvassing or election time were struck dumb by his coolness He didnt
appear like the same man then he was all milk and honey now he was all starch
and vinegar But men are so different at different times
»Question number three and last « said Mr Pugstyles emphatically
»Whether sir you did not state upon the hustings that it was your firm and
determined intention to oppose everything proposed to divide the house upon
every question to move for returns on every subject to place a motion on the
books every day and in short in your own memorable words to play the very
devil with everything and everybody« With this comprehensive inquiry Mr
Pugstyles folded up his list of questions as did all his backers
Mr Gregsbury reflected blew his nose threw himself further back in his
chair came forward again leaning his elbows on the table made a triangle with
his two thumbs and his two forefingers and tapping his nose with the apex
thereof replied smiling as he said it »I deny everything«
At this unexpected answer a hoarse murmur arose from the deputation and
the same gentleman who had expressed an opinion relative to the gammoning nature
of the introductory speech again made a monosyllabic demonstration by growling
out »Resign« Which growl being taken up by his fellows swelled into a very
earnest and general remonstrance
»I am requested sir to express a hope« said Mr Pugstyles with a distant
bow »that on receiving a requisition to that effect from a great majority of
your constituents you will not object at once to resign your seat in favour of
some candidate whom they think they can better trust«
To this Mr Gregsbury read the following reply which anticipating the
request he had composed in the form of a letter whereof copies had been made
to send round to the newspapers
»My dear Mr Pugstyles
Next to the welfare of our beloved island this great and free and
happy country whose powers and resources are I sincerely believe
illimitable I value that noble independence which is an Englishmans
proudest boast and which I fondly hope to bequeath to my children
untarnished and unsullied Actuated by no personal motives but moved
only by high and great constitutional considerations which I will not
attempt to explain for they are really beneath the comprehension of
those who have not made themselves masters as I have of the intricate
and arduous study of politics I would rather keep my seat and intend
doing so
Will you do me the favour to present my compliments to the
constituent body and acquaint them with this circumstance
With great esteem
My dear Mr Pugstyles
etc etc«
»Then you will not resign under any circumstances« asked the spokesman
Mr Gregsbury smiled and shook his head
»Then good morning sir« said Pugstyles angrily
»Heaven bless you« said Mr Gregsbury And the deputation with many growls
and scowls filed off as quickly as the narrowness of the staircase would allow
of their getting down
The last man being gone Mr Gregsbury rubbed his hands and chuckled as
merry fellows will when they think they have said or done a more than commonly
good thing he was so engrossed in this selfcongratulation that he did not
observe that Nicholas had been left behind in the shadow of the windowcurtains
until that young gentleman fearing he might otherwise overhear some soliloquy
intended to have no listeners coughed twice or thrice to attract the members
notice
»Whats that« said Mr Gregsbury in sharp accents
Nicholas stepped forward and bowed
»What do you do here sir« asked Mr Gregsbury »a spy upon my privacy A
concealed voter You have heard my answer sir Pray follow the deputation«
»I should have done so if I had belonged to it but I do not« said
Nicholas
»Then how came you here sir« was the natural inquiry of Mr Gregsbury
MP »And where the devil have you come from sir« was the question which
followed it
»I brought this card from the General Agency Office sir« said Nicholas
»wishing to offer myself as your secretary and understanding that you stood in
need of one«
»Thats all you have come for is it« said Mr Gregsbury eyeing him in
some doubt
Nicholas replied in the affirmative
»You have no connexion with any of those rascally papers have you« said
Mr Gregsbury »You didnt get into the room to hear what was going forward and
put it in print eh«
»I have no connexion I am sorry to say with anything at present« rejoined
Nicholas politely enough but quite at his ease
»Oh« said Mr Gregsbury »How did you find your way up here then«
Nicholas related how he had been forced up by the deputation
»That was the way was it« said Mr Gregsbury »Sit down«
Nicholas took a chair and Mr Gregsbury stared at him for a long time as
if to make certain before he asked any further questions that there were no
objections to his outward appearance
»You want to be my secretary do you« he said at length
»I wish to be employed in that capacity sir« replied Nicholas
»Well« said Mr Gregsbury »now what can you do«
»I suppose« replied Nicholas smiling »that I can do what usually falls to
the lot of other secretaries«
»Whats that« inquired Mr Gregsbury
»What is it« replied Nicholas
»Ah What is it« retorted the member looking shrewdly at him with his
head on one side
»A secretarys duties are rather difficult to define perhaps« said
Nicholas considering »They include I presume correspondence«
»Good« interposed Mr Gregsbury
»The arrangement of papers and documents«
»Very good«
»Occasionally perhaps the writing from your dictation and possibly sir«
said Nicholas with a half smile »the copying of your speech for some public
journal when you have made one of more than usual importance«
»Certainly« rejoined Mr Gregsbury »What else«
»Really« said Nicholas after a moments reflection »I am not able at
this instant to recapitulate any other duty of a secretary beyond the general
one of making himself as agreeable and useful to his employer as he can
consistently with his own respectability and without overstepping that line of
duties which he undertakes to perform and which the designation of his office
is usually understood to imply«
Mr Gregsbury looked fixedly at Nicholas for a short time and then glancing
warily round the room said in a suppressed voice
»This is all very well Mr what is your name«
»Nickleby«
»This is all very well Mr Nickleby and very proper so far as it goes
so far as it goes but it doesnt go far enough There are other duties Mr
Nickleby which a secretary to a parliamentary gentleman must never lose sight
of I should require to be crammed sir«
»I beg your pardon« interposed Nicholas doubtful whether he had heard
aright
» To be crammed sir« repeated Mr Gregsbury
»May I beg your pardon again if I inquire what you mean sir« said
Nicholas
»My meaning sir is perfectly plain« replied Mr Gregsbury with a solemn
aspect »My secretary would have to make himself master of the foreign policy of
the world as it is mirrored in the newspapers to run his eye over all accounts
of public meetings all leading articles and accounts of the proceedings of
public bodies and to make notes of anything which it appeared to him might be
made a point of in any little speech upon the question of some petition lying
on the table or anything of that kind Do you understand«
»I think I do sir« replied Nicholas
»Then« said Mr Gregsbury »it would be necessary for him to make himself
acquainted from day to day with newspaper paragraphs on passing events such
as Mysterious disappearance and supposed suicide of a potboy or anything of
that sort upon which I might found a question to the Secretary of State for the
Home Department Then he would have to copy the question and as much as I
remembered of the answer including a little compliment about independence and
good sense and to send the manuscript in a frank to the local paper with
perhaps half a dozen lines of leader to the effect that I was always to be
found in my place in Parliament and never shrunk from the responsible and
arduous duties and so forth You see«
Nicholas bowed
»Besides which« continued Mr Gregsbury »I should expect him now and
then to go through a few figures in the printed tables and to pick out a few
results so that I might come out pretty well on timber duty questions and
finance questions and so on and I should like him to get up a few little
arguments about the disastrous effects of a return to cash payments and a
metallic currency with a touch now and then about the exportation of bullion
and the Emperor of Russia and bank notes and all that kind of thing which
its only necessary to talk fluently about because nobody understands it Do
you take me«
»I think I understand« said Nicholas
»With regard to such questions as are not political« continued Mr
Gregsbury warming »and which one cant be expected to care a curse about
beyond the natural care of not allowing inferior people to be as well off as
ourselves else where are our privileges I should wish my secretary to get
together a few little flourishing speeches of a patriotic cast For instance
if any preposterous bill were brought forward for giving poor grubbing devils
of authors a right to their own property I should like to say that I for one
would never consent to opposing an insurmountable bar to the diffusion of
literature among the people you understand that the creations of the
pocket being mans might belong to one man or one family but that the
creations of the brain being Gods ought as a matter of course to belong to
the people at large and if I was pleasantly disposed I should like to make a
joke about posterity and say that those who wrote for posterity should be
content to be rewarded by the approbation of posterity it might take with the
house and could never do me any harm because posterity cant be expected to
know anything about me or my jokes either do you see«
»I see that sir« replied Nicholas
»You must always bear in mind in such cases as this where our interests
are not affected« said Mr Gregsbury »to put it very strong about the people
because it comes out very well at electiontime and you could be as funny as
you liked about the authors because I believe the greater part of them live in
lodgings and are not voters This is a hasty outline of the chief things youd
have to do except waiting in the lobby every night in case I forgot anything
and should want fresh cramming and now and then during great debates sitting
in the front row of the gallery and saying to the people about You see that
gentleman with his hand to his face and his arm twisted round the pillar
thats Mr Gregsbury the celebrated Mr Gregsbury with any other little
eulogium that might strike you at the moment And for salary« said Mr
Gregsbury winding up with great rapidity for he was out of breath »And for
salary I dont mind saying at once in round numbers to prevent any
dissatisfaction though its more than Ive been accustomed to give fifteen
shillings a week and find yourself There«
With this handsome offer Mr Gregsbury once more threw himself back in his
chair and looked like a man who had been most profligately liberal but is
determined not to repent of it notwithstanding
»Fifteen shillings a week is not much« said Nicholas mildly
»Not much Fifteen shillings a week not much young man« cried Mr
Gregsbury »Fifteen shillings a «
»Pray do not suppose that I quarrel with the sum sir« replied Nicholas
»for I am not ashamed to confess that whatever it may be in itself, to me it is
a great deal But the duties and responsibilities make the recompense small and
they are so very heavy that I fear to undertake them«
»Do you decline to undertake them sir« inquired Mr Gregsbury with his
hand on the bellrope
»I fear they are too great for my powers however good my will may be sir«
replied Nicholas
»That is as much as to say that you had rather not accept the place and
that you consider fifteen shillings a week too little« said Mr Gregsbury
ringing »Do you decline it sir«
»I have no alternative but to do so« replied Nicholas
»Door Matthews« said Mr Gregsbury as the boy appeared
»I am sorry I have troubled you unnecessarily sir« said Nicholas
»I am sorry you have« rejoined Mr Gregsbury turning his back upon him
»Door Matthews«
»Good morning sir« said Nicholas
»Door Matthews« cried Mr Gregsbury
The boy beckoned Nicholas and tumbling lazily down stairs before him
opened the door and ushered him into the street With a sad and pensive air he
retraced his steps homewards
Smike had scraped a meal together from the remnant of last nights supper
and was anxiously awaiting his return The occurrences of the morning had not
improved Nicholass appetite and by him the dinner remained untasted He was
sitting in a thoughtful attitude with the plate which the poor fellow had
assiduously filled with the choicest morsels untouched by his side when
Newman Noggs looked into the room
»Come back« asked Newman
»Yes« replied Nicholas »tired to death and what is worse might have
remained at home for all the good I have done«
»Couldnt expect to do much in one morning« said Newman
»May be so but I am sanguine and did expect« said Nicholas »and am
proportionately disappointed« Saying which he gave Newman an account of his
proceedings
»If I could do anything« said Nicholas »anything however slight until
Ralph Nickleby returns and I have eased my mind by confronting him I should
feel happier I should think it no disgrace to work Heaven knows Lying
indolently here like a halftamed sullen beast distracts me«
»I dont know« said Newman »small things offer they would pay the rent
and more but you wouldnt like them no you could hardly be expected to
undergo it no no«
»What could I hardly be expected to undergo« asked Nicholas raising his
eyes »Show me in this wide waste of London any honest means by which I could
even defray the weekly hire of this poor room and see if I shrink from
resorting to them Undergo I have undergone too much my friend to feel pride
or squeamishness now Except « added Nicholas hastily after a short silence
»except such squeamishness as is common honesty and so much pride as
constitutes selfrespect I see little to choose between assistant to a brutal
pedagogue and toadeater to a mean and ignorant upstart be he member or no
member«
»I hardly know whether I should tell you what I heard this morning or not«
said Newman
»Has it reference to what you said just now« asked Nicholas
»It has«
»Then in Heavens name my good friend tell it me« said Nicholas »For
Gods sake consider my deplorable condition and while I promise to take no
step without taking counsel with you give me at least a vote in my own
behalf«
Moved by this entreaty Newman stammered forth a variety of most
unaccountable and entangled sentences the upshot of which was that Mrs
Kenwigs had examined him at great length that morning touching the origin of
his acquaintance with and the whole life adventures and pedigree of
Nicholas that Newman had parried these questions so long as he could but
being at length hard pressed and driven into a corner had gone so far as to
admit that Nicholas was a tutor of great accomplishments involved in some
misfortunes which he was not at liberty to explain and bearing the name of
Johnson That Mrs Kenwigs impelled by gratitude or ambition or maternal
pride or maternal love or all four powerful motives conjointly had taken
secret conference with Mr Kenwigs and had finally returned to propose that Mr
Johnson should instruct the four Miss Kenwigses in the French language as spoken
by natives at the weekly stipend of five shillings current coin of the realm
being at the rate of one shilling per week per each Miss Kenwigs and one
shilling over until such time as the baby might be able to take it out in
grammar
»Which unless I am very much mistaken« observed Mrs Kenwigs in making the
proposition, »will not be very long for such clever children Mr Noggs never
were born into this world I do believe«
»There« said Newman »thats all Its beneath you I know but I thought
that perhaps you might «
»Might« cried Nicholas with great alacrity »of course I shall I accept
the offer at once Tell the worthy mother so without delay my dear fellow and
that I am ready to begin whenever she pleases«
Newman hastened with joyful steps to inform Mrs Kenwigs of his friends
acquiescence and soon returning brought back word that they would be happy to
see him in the first floor as soon as convenient that Mrs Kenwigs had upon
the instant sent out to secure a secondhand French grammar and dialogues
which had long been fluttering in the sixpenny box at the bookstall round the
corner and that the family highly excited at the prospect of this addition to
their gentility wished the initiatory lesson to come off immediately
And here it may be observed that Nicholas was not in the ordinary sense of
the word a young man of high spirit He would resent an affront to himself or
interpose to redress a wrong offered to another as boldly and freely as any
knight that ever set lance in rest but he lacked that peculiar excess of
coolness and greatminded selfishness which invariably distinguished gentlemen
of high spirit In truth for our own part we are disposed to look upon such
gentlemen as being rather incumbrances than otherwise in rising families
happening to be acquainted with several whose spirit prevents their settling
down to any grovelling occupation and only displays itself in a tendency to
cultivate mustachios and look fierce and although mustachios and ferocity are
both very pretty things in their way and very much to be commended we confess
to a desire to see them bred at the owners proper cost rather than at the
expense of lowspirited people
Nicholas therefore not being a highspirited young man according to common
parlance and deeming it a greater degradation to borrow for the supply of his
necessities from Newman Noggs than to teach French to the little Kenwigses for
five shillings a week accepted the offer with the alacrity already described
and betook himself to the first floor with all convenient speed
Here he was received by Mrs Kenwigs with a genteel air kindly intended to
assure him of her protection and support and here too he found Mr Lillyvick
and Miss Petowker the four Miss Kenwigses on their form of audience and the
baby in a dwarf porters chair with a deal tray before it amusing himself with
a toy horse without a head the said horse being composed of a small wooden
cylinder not unlike an Italian iron supported on four crooked pegs and
painted in ingenious resemblance of red wafers set in blacking
»How do you do Mr Johnson« said Mrs Kenwigs »Uncle Mr Johnson«
»How do you do sir« said Mr Lillyvick rather sharply for he had not
known what Nicholas was on the previous night and it was rather an aggravating
circumstance if a tax collector had been too polite to a teacher
»Mr Johnson is engaged as private master to the children uncle« said Mrs
Kenwigs
»So you said just now my dear« replied Mr Lillyvick
»But I hope« said Mrs Kenwigs drawing herself up »that that will not
make them proud but that they will bless their own good fortune which has born
them superior to common peoples children Do you hear Morleena«
»Yes ma« replied Miss Kenwigs
»And when you go out in the streets or elsewhere I desire that you dont
boast of it to the other children« said Mrs Kenwigs »and that if you must say
anything about it you dont say no more than Weve got a private master comes
to teach us at home but we aint proud because ma says its sinful Do you
hear Morleena«
»Yes ma« replied Miss Kenwigs again
»Then mind you recollect and do as I tell you« said Mrs Kenwigs »Shall
Mr Johnson begin uncle«
»I am ready to hear if Mr Johnson is ready to commence my dear« said the
collector assuming the air of a profound critic »What sort of language do you
consider French sir«
»How do you mean« asked Nicholas
»Do you consider it a good language sir« said the collector »a pretty
language a sensible language«
»A pretty language certainly« replied Nicholas »and as it has a name for
everything and admits of elegant conversation about everything I presume it is
a sensible one«
»I dont know« said Mr Lillyvick doubtfully »Do you call it a cheerful
language now«
»Yes« replied Nicholas »I should say it was certainly«
»Its very much changed since my time then« said the collector »very
much«
»Was it a dismal one in your time« asked Nicholas scarcely able to repress
a smile
»Very« replied Mr Lillyvick with some vehemence of manner »Its the war
time that I speak of the last war It may be a cheerful language I should be
sorry to contradict anybody but I can only say that Ive heard the French
prisoners who were natives and ought to know how to speak it talking in such
a dismal manner that it made one miserable to hear them Ay that I have fifty
times sir fifty times«
Mr Lillyvick was waxing so cross that Mrs Kenwigs thought it expedient to
motion to Nicholas not to say anything and it was not until Miss Petowker had
practised several blandishments to soften the excellent old gentleman that he
deigned to break silence by asking
»Whats the water in French sir«
»LEau« replied Nicholas
»Ah« said Mr Lillyvick shaking his head mournfully »I thought as much
Lo eh I dont think anything of that language nothing at all«
»I suppose the children may begin uncle« said Mrs Kenwigs
»Oh yes they may begin my dear« replied the collector discontentedly »I
have no wish to prevent them«
This permission being conceded the four Miss Kenwigses sat in a row with
their tails all one way and Morleena at the top while Nicholas taking the
book began his preliminary explanations Miss Petowker and Mrs Kenwigs looked
on in silent admiration broken only by the whispered assurances of the latter
that Morleena would have it all by heart in no time and Mr Lillyvick regarded
the group with frowning and attentive eyes lying in wait for something upon
which he could open a fresh discussion on the language
Chapter XVII
Follows the Fortunes of Miss Nickleby
It was with a heavy heart and many sad forebodings which no effort could
banish that Kate Nickleby on the morning appointed for the commencement of her
engagement with Madame Mantalini left the city when its clocks yet wanted a
quarter of an hour of eight and threaded her way alone amid the noise and
bustle of the streets towards the west end of London
At this early hour many sickly girls whose business like that of the poor
worm is to produce with patient toil the finery that bedecks the thoughtless
and luxurious traverse our streets making towards the scene of their daily
labour and catching as if by stealth in their hurried walk the only gasp of
wholesome air and glimpse of sunlight which cheers their monotonous existence
during the long train of hours that make a working day As she drew nigh to the
more fashionable quarter of the town Kate marked many of this class as they
passed by hurrying like herself to their painful occupation and saw in their
unhealthy looks and feeble gait but too clear an evidence that her misgivings
were not wholly groundless
She arrived at Madame Mantalinis some minutes before the appointed hour
and after walking a few times up and down in the hope that some other female
might arrive and spare her the embarrassment of stating her business to the
servant knocked timidly at the door which after some delay was opened by the
footman who had been putting on his striped jacket as he came up stairs and
was now intent on fastening his apron
»Is Madame Mantalini in« faltered Kate
»Not often out at this time Miss« replied the man in a tone which rendered
Miss something more offensive than My dear
»Can I see her« asked Kate
»Eh« replied the man holding the door in his hand and honouring the
inquirer with a stare and a broad grin »Lord no«
»I came by her own appointment« said Kate »I am I am to be employed
here«
»Oh you should have rung the workers bell« said the footman touching the
handle of one in the doorpost »Let me see though I forgot Miss Nickleby
is it«
»Yes« replied Kate
»Youre to walk up stairs then please« said the man »Madame Mantalini
wants to see you this way take care of these things on the floor«
Cautioning her in these terms not to trip over a heterogeneous litter of
pastrycooks trays lamps waiters full of glasses and piles of rout seats
which were strewn about the hall plainly bespeaking a late party on the
previous night the man led the way to the second story and ushered Kate into a
back room communicating by foldingdoors with the apartment in which she had
first seen the mistress of the establishment
»If youll wait here a minute« said the man »Ill tell her presently«
Having made this promise with much affability he retired and left Kate alone
There was not much to amuse in the room of which the most attractive
feature was a halflength portrait in oil of Mr Mantalini whom the artist had
depicted scratching his head in an easy manner and thus displaying to advantage
a diamond ring the gift of Madame Mantalini before her marriage There was
however the sound of voices in conversation in the next room and as the
conversation was loud and the partition thin Kate could not help discovering
that they belonged to Mr and Mrs Mantalini
»If you will be odiously demnebly outrigeously jealous my soul« said Mr
Mantalini »you will be very miserable horrid miserable demnition
miserable« And then there was a sound as though Mr Mantalini were sipping his
coffee
»I am miserable« returned Madame Mantalini evidently pouting
»Then you are an ungrateful unworthy demd unthankful little fairy« said
Mr Mantalini
»I am not« returned Madame with a sob
»Do not put itself out of humour« said Mr Mantalini breaking an egg »It
is a pretty bewitching little demd countenance and it should not be out of
humour for it spoils its loveliness and makes it cross and gloomy like a
frightful naughty demd hobgoblin«
»I am not to be brought round in that way always« rejoined Madame
sulkily
»It shall be brought round in any way it likes best and not brought round
at all if it likes that better« retorted Mr Mantalini with his eggspoon in
his mouth
»Its very easy to talk« said Mrs Mantalini
»Not so easy when one is eating a demnition egg« replied Mr Mantalini
»for the yolk runs down the waistcoat and yolk of egg does not match any
waistcoat but a yellow waistcoat demmit«
»You were flirting with her during the whole night« said Madame Mantalini
apparently desirous to lead the conversation back to the point from which it had
strayed
»No no my life«
»You were« said Madame »I had my eye upon you all the time«
»Bless the little winking twinking eye was it on me all the time« cried
Mantalini in a sort of lazy rapture »Oh demmit«
»And I say once more« resumed Madame »that you ought not to waltz with
anybody but your own wife and I will not bear it Mantalini if I take poison
first«
»She will not take poison and have horrid pains will she« said Mantalini
who by the altered sound of his voice seemed to have moved his chair and
taken up his position nearer to his wife »She will not take poison because she
had a demd fine husband who might have married two countesses and a dowager «
»Two countesses« interposed Madame »You told me one before«
»Two« cried Mantalini »Two demd fine women real countesses and splendid
fortunes demmit«
»And why didnt you« asked Madame playfully
»Why didnt I« replied her husband »Had I not seen at a morning concert
the demdest little fascinator in all the world and while that little fascinator
is my wife may not all the countesses and dowagers in England be «
Mr Mantalini did not finish the sentence but he gave Madame Mantalini a
very loud kiss which Madame Mantalini returned after which there seemed to be
some more kissing mixed up with the progress of the breakfast
»And what about the cash my existences jewel« said Mantalini when these
endearments ceased »How much have we in hand«
»Very little indeed« replied Madame
»We must have some more« said Mantalini »we must have some discount out of
old Nickleby to carry on the war with demmit«
»You cant want any more just now« said Madame coaxingly
»My life and soul« returned her husband »there is a horse for sale at
Scrubbss which it would be a sin and a crime to lose going my senses joy
for nothing«
»For nothing« cried Madame »I am glad of that«
»For actually nothing« replied Mantalini »A hundred guineas down will buy
him mane and crest and legs and tail all of the demdest beauty I will ride
him in the park before the very chariots of the rejected countesses The demd
old dowager will faint with grief and rage the other two will say He is
married he has made away with himself it is a demd thing it is all up They
will hate each other demnebly and wish you dead and buried Ha ha Demmit«
Madame Mantalinis prudence if she had any was not proof against these
triumphal pictures after a little jingling of keys she observed that she would
see what her desk contained and rising for that purpose opened the
foldingdoor and walked into the room where Kate was seated
»Dear me child« exclaimed Madame Mantalini recoiling in surprise »How
came you here«
»Child« cried Mantalini hurrying in »How came eh oh demmit how
dye do«
»I have been waiting here some time maam« said Kate addressing Madame
Mantalini »The servant must have forgotten to let you know that I was here I
think«
»You really must see to that man« said Madame turning to her husband »He
forgets everything«
»I will twist his demd nose off his countenance for leaving such a very
pretty creature all alone by herself« said her husband
»Mantalini« cried Madame »you forget yourself«
»I dont forget you my soul and never shall and never can« said
Mantalini kissing his wifes hand and grimacing aside to Miss Nickleby who
turned away
Appeased by this compliment the lady of the business took some papers from
her desk which she handed over to Mr Mantalini who received them with great
delight She then requested Kate to follow her and after several feints on the
part of Mr Mantalini to attract the young ladys attention they went away
leaving that gentleman extended at full length on the sofa with his heels in
the air and a newspaper in his hand
Madame Mantalini led the way down a flight of stairs and through a passage
to a large room at the back of the premises where were a number of young women
employed in sewing cutting out making up altering and various other
processes known only to those who are cunning in the arts of millinery and
dressmaking It was a close room with a skylight and as dull and quiet as a
room need be
On Madame Mantalini calling aloud for Miss Knag a short bustling
overdressed female full of importance presented herself and all the young
ladies suspending their operations for the moment whispered to each other
sundry criticisms upon the make and texture of Miss Nicklebys dress her
complexion cast of features and personal appearance with as much
goodbreeding as could have been displayed by the very best society in a crowded
ballroom
»Oh Miss Knag« said Madame Mantalini »this is the young person I spoke to
you about«
Miss Knag bestowed a reverential smile upon Madame Mantalini which she
dexterously transformed into a gracious one for Kate and said that certainly
although it was a great deal of trouble to have young people who were wholly
unused to the business still she was sure the young person would try to do her
best impressed with which conviction she Miss Knag felt an interest in her
already
»I think that for the present at all events it will be better for Miss
Nickleby to come into the showroom with you and try things on for people«
said Madame Mantalini »She will not be able for the present to be of much use
in any other way and her appearance will «
»Suit very well with mine Madame Mantalini« interrupted Miss Knag »So it
will and to be sure I might have known that you would not be long in finding
that out for you have so much taste in all those matters that really as I
often say to the young ladies I do not know how when or where you possibly
could have acquired all you know hem Miss Nickleby and I are quite a pair
Madame Mantalini only I am a little darker than Miss Nickleby and hem I
think my foot may be a little smaller Miss Nickleby I am sure will not be
offended at my saying that when she hears that our family always have been
celebrated for small feet ever since hem ever since our family had any feet
at all indeed I think I had an uncle once Madame Mantalini who lived in
Cheltenham and had a most excellent business as a tobacconist hem who had
such small feet that they were no bigger than those which are usually joined to
wooden legs the most symmetrical feet Madame Mantalini that even you can
imagine«
»They must have had something the appearance of club feet Miss Knag« said
Madame
»Well now that is so like you« returned Miss Knag »Ha ha ha Of club
feet Oh very good As I often remark to the young ladies Well I must say and
I do not care who knows it of all the ready humour hem I ever heard
anywhere and I have heard a good deal for when my dear brother was alive I
kept house for him Miss Nickleby we had to supper once a week two or three
young men highly celebrated in those days for their humour Madame Mantalini
Of all the ready humour I say to the young ladies I ever heard Madame
Mantalinis is the most remarkable hem It is so gentle so sarcastic and yet
so goodnatured as I was observing to Miss Simmonds only this morning that
how or when or by what means she acquired it is to me a mystery indeed«
Here Miss Knag paused to take breath and while she pauses it may be
observed not that she was marvellously loquacious and marvellously deferential
to Madame Mantalini since these are facts which require no comment but that
every now and then she was accustomed in the torrent of her discourse to
introduce a loud shrill clear »hem« the import and meaning of which was
variously interpreted by her acquaintance some holding that Miss Knag dealt in
exaggeration and introduced the monosyllable when any fresh invention was in
course of coinage in her brain others that when she wanted a word she threw
it in to gain time and prevent anybody else from striking into the
conversation It may be further remarked that Miss Knag still aimed at youth
although she had shot beyond it years ago and that she was weak and vain and
one of those people who are best described by the axiom that you may trust them
as far as you can see them and no farther
»Youll take care that Miss Nickleby understands her hours and so forth«
said Madame Mantalini »and so Ill leave her with you Youll not forget my
directions Miss Knag«
Miss Knag of course replied that to forget anything Madame Mantalini had
directed was a moral impossibility and that lady dispensing a general good
morning among her assistants sailed away
»Charming creature isnt she Miss Nickleby« said Miss Knag rubbing her
hands together
»I have seen very little of her« said Kate »I hardly know yet«
»Have you seen Mr Mantalini« inquired Miss Knag
»Yes I have seen him twice«
»Isnt he a charming creature«
»Indeed he does not strike me as being so by any means« replied Kate
»No my dear« cried Miss Knag elevating her hands »Why goodness gracious
mercy wheres your taste Such a fine tall fullwhiskered dashing gentlemanly
man with such teeth and hair and hem well now you do astonish me«
»I dare say I am very foolish« replied Kate laying aside her bonnet »but
as my opinion is of very little importance to him or any one else I do not
regret having formed it and shall be slow to change it I think«
»He is a very fine man dont you think so« asked one of the young ladies
»Indeed he may be for anything I could say to the contrary« replied Kate
»And drives very beautiful horses doesnt he« inquired another
»I dare say he may but I never saw them« answered Kate
»Never saw them« interposed Miss Knag »Oh well There it is at once you
know how can you possibly pronounce an opinion about a gentleman hem if you
dont see him as he turns out altogether«
There was so much of the world even of the little world of the country
girl in this idea of the old milliner that Kate who was anxious for every
reason to change the subject made no further remark and left Miss Knag in
possession of the field
After a short silence during which most of the young people made a closer
inspection of Kates appearance and compared notes respecting it one of them
offered to help her off with her shawl and the offer being accepted inquired
whether she did not find black very uncomfortable wear
»I do indeed« replied Kate with a bitter sigh
»So dusty and hot« observed the same speaker adjusting her dress for her
Kate might have said that mourning is sometimes the coldest wear which
mortals can assume that it not only chills the breasts of those it clothes but
extending its influence to summer friends freezes up their sources of goodwill
and kindness and withering all the buds of promise they once so liberally put
forth leaves nothing but bared and rotten hearts exposed There are few who
have lost a friend or relative constituting in life their sole dependence who
have not keenly felt this chilling influence of their sable garb She had felt
it acutely and feeling it at the moment could not quite restrain her tears
»I am very sorry to have wounded you by my thoughtless speech« said her
companion »I did not think of it You are in mourning for some near relation«
»For my father« answered Kate
»For what relation Miss Simmonds« asked Miss Knag in an audible voice
»Her father« replied the other softly
»Her father eh« said Miss Knag without the slightest depression of her
voice »Ah A long illness Miss Simmonds«
»Hush« replied the girl »I dont know«
»Our misfortune was very sudden« said Kate turning away »or I might
perhaps at a time like this be enabled to support it better«
There had existed not a little desire in the room according to invariable
custom when any new young person came to know who Kate was and what she was
and all about her but although it might have been very naturally increased by
her appearance and emotion the knowledge that it pained her to be questioned
was sufficient to repress even this curiosity and Miss Knag finding it
hopeless to attempt extracting any further particulars just then reluctantly
commanded silence and bade the work proceed
In silence then the tasks were plied until halfpast one when a baked leg
of mutton with potatoes to correspond were served in the kitchen The meal
over and the young ladies having enjoyed the additional relaxation of washing
their hands the work began again and was again performed in silence until the
noise of carriages rattling through the streets and of loud double knocks at
doors gave token that the days work of the more fortunate members of society
was proceeding in its turn
One of these double knocks at Madame Mantalinis door announced the
equipage of some great lady or rather rich one for there is occasionally a
distinction between riches and greatness who had come with her daughter to
approve of some courtdresses which had been a long time preparing and upon
whom Kate was deputed to wait accompanied by Miss Knag and officered of course
by Madame Mantalini
Kates part in the pageant was humble enough her duties being limited to
holding articles of costume until Miss Knag was ready to try them on and now
and then tying a string or fastening a hookandeye She might not
unreasonably have supposed herself beneath the reach of any arrogance or bad
humour but it happened that the lady and daughter were both out of temper that
day and the poor girl came in for her share of their revilings She was awkward
her hands were cold dirty coarse she could do nothing right they
wondered how Madame Mantalini could have such people about her requested that
they might see some other young woman the next time they came and so forth
So common an occurrence would be hardly deserving of mention but for its
effect Kate shed many bitter tears when these people were gone and felt for
the first time humbled by her occupation She had it is true quailed at the
prospect of drudgery and hard service but she had felt no degradation in
working for her bread until she found herself exposed to insolence and pride
Philosophy would have taught her that the degradation was on the side of those
who had sunk so low as to display such passions habitually and without cause
but she was too young for such consolation and her honest feeling was hurt May
not the complaint that common people are above their station often take its
rise in the fact of uncommon people being below theirs
In such scenes and occupations the time wore on until nine oclock when
Kate jaded and dispirited with the occurrences of the day hastened from the
confinement of the workroom to join her mother at the street corner and walk
home the more sadly from having to disguise her real feelings and feign to
participate in all the sanguine visions of her companion
»Bless my soul Kate« said Mrs Nickleby »Ive been thinking all day what
a delightful thing it would be for Madame Mantalini to take you into partnership
such a likely thing too you know Why your poor dear papas cousins
sisterinlaw a Miss Browndock was taken into partnership by a lady that
kept a school at Hammersmith and made her fortune in no time at all I forget
by the bye whether that Miss Browndock was the same lady that got the ten
thousand pounds prize in the lottery but I think she was indeed now I come to
think of it I am sure she was Mantalini and Nickleby how well it would sound
and if Nicholas has any good fortune you might have Doctor Nickleby the
headmaster of Westminster School living in the same street«
»Dear Nicholas« cried Kate taking from her reticule her brothers letter
from Dotheboys Hall »In all our misfortunes how happy it makes me mama to
hear he is doing well and to find him writing in such good spirits It consoles
me for all we may undergo to think that he is comfortable and happy«
Poor Kate she little thought how weak her consolation was and how soon she
would be undeceived
Chapter XVIII
Miss Knag after Doating on Kate Nickleby for Three Whole Days Makes up Her
Mind to Hate Her for Evermore The Causes Which Lead Miss Knag to Form This
Resolution
There are many lives of much pain hardship and suffering which having no
stirring interest for any but those who lead them are disregarded by persons
who do not want thought or feeling but who pamper their compassion and need
high stimulants to rouse it
There are not a few among the disciples of charity who require in their
vocation scarcely less excitement than the votaries of pleasure in theirs and
hence it is that diseased sympathy and compassion are every day expended on
outoftheway objects when only too many demands upon the legitimate exercise
of the same virtues in a healthy state are constantly within the sight and
hearing of the most unobservant person alive In short charity must have its
romance as the novelist or playwright must have his A thief in fustian is a
vulgar character scarcely to be thought of by persons of refinement but dress
him in green velvet with a highcrowned hat and change the scene of his
operations from a thickly peopled city to a mountain road and you shall find
in him the very soul of poetry and adventure So it is with the one great
cardinal virtue which properly nourished and exercised leads to if it does
not necessarily include all the others It must have its romance and the less
of real hard struggling workaday life there is in that romance the better
The life to which poor Kate Nickleby was devoted in consequence of the
unforeseen train of circumstances already developed in this narrative was a
hard one but lest the very dulness unhealthy confinement and bodily fatigue
which made up its sum and substance should deprive it of any interest with the
mass of the charitable and sympathetic I would rather keep Miss Nickleby
herself in view just now than chill them in the outset by a minute and
lengthened description of the establishment presided over by Madame Mantalini
»Well now indeed Madame Mantalini« said Miss Knag as Kate was taking her
weary way homewards on the first night of her noviciate »that Miss Nickleby is
a very creditable young person a very creditable young person indeed hem
upon my word Madame Mantalini it does very extraordinary credit even to your
discrimination that you should have found such a very excellent very well
behaved very hem very unassuming young woman to assist in the fitting on I
have seen some young women when they had the opportunity of displaying before
their betters behave in such a oh dear well but youre always right
Madame Mantalini always and as I very often tell the young ladies how you do
contrive to be always right when so many people are so often wrong is to me a
mystery indeed«
»Beyond putting a very excellent client out of humour Miss Nickleby has not
done anything very remarkable today that I am aware of at least« said
Madame Mantalini in reply
»Oh dear« said Miss Knag »but you must allow a great deal for
inexperience you know«
»And youth« inquired Madame
»Oh I say nothing about that Madame Mantalini« replied Miss Knag
reddening »because if youth were any excuse you wouldnt have «
»Quite so good a forewoman as I have I suppose« suggested Madame
»Well I never did know anybody like you Madame Mantalini« rejoined Miss
Knag most complacently »and thats the fact for you know what ones going to
say before it has time to rise to ones lips Oh very good Ha ha ha«
»For myself« observed Madame Mantalini glancing with affected carelessness
at her assistant and laughing heartily in her sleeve »I consider Miss Nickleby
the most awkward girl I ever saw in my life«
»Poor dear thing« said Miss Knag »its not her fault If it was we might
hope to cure it but as its her misfortune Madame Mantalini why really you
know as the man said about the blind horse we ought to respect it«
»Her uncle told me she had been considered pretty« remarked Madame
Mantalini »I think her one of the most ordinary girls I ever met with«
»Ordinary« cried Miss Knag with a countenance beaming delight »and
awkward Well all I can say is Madame Mantalini that I quite love the poor
girl and that if she was twice as indifferentlooking and twice as awkward as
she is I should be only so much the more her friend and thats the truth of
it«
In fact Miss Knag had conceived an incipient affection for Kate Nickleby
after witnessing her failure that morning and this short conversation with her
superior increased the favourable prepossession to a most surprising extent
which was the more remarkable as when she first scanned that young ladys face
and figure she had entertained certain inward misgivings that they would never
agree
»But now« said Miss Knag glancing at the reflection of herself in a mirror
at no great distance »I love her I quite love her I declare I do«
Of such a highly disinterested quality was this devoted friendship and so
superior was it to the little weaknesses of flattery or ill nature that the
kindhearted Miss Knag candidly informed Kate Nickleby next day that she saw
she would never do for the business but that she need not give herself the
slightest uneasiness on this account for that she Miss Knag by increased
exertions on her own part would keep her as much as possible in the background
and that all she would have to do would be to remain perfectly quiet before
company and to shrink from attracting notice by every means in her power This
last suggestion was so much in accordance with the timid girls own feelings and
wishes that she readily promised implicit reliance on the excellent spinsters
advice without questioning or indeed bestowing a moments reflection upon the
motives that dictated it
»I take quite a lively interest in you my dear soul upon my word« said
Miss Knag »a sisters interest actually Its the most singular circumstance I
ever knew«
Undoubtedly it was singular that if Miss Knag did feel a strong interest in
Kate Nickleby it should not rather have been the interest of a maiden aunt or
grandmother that being the conclusion to which the difference in their
respective ages would have naturally tended But Miss Knag wore clothes of a
very youthful pattern and perhaps her feelings took the same shape
»Bless you« said Miss Knag bestowing a kiss upon Kate at the conclusion of
the second days work »how very awkward you have been all day«
»I fear your kind and open communication which has rendered me more
painfully conscious of my own defects has not improved me« sighed Kate
»No no I dare say not« rejoined Miss Knag in a most uncommon flow of
good humour »But how much better that you should know it at first and so be
able to go on straight and comfortable Which way are you walking my love«
»Towards the city« replied Kate
»The city« cried Miss Knag regarding herself with great favour in the
glass as she tied her bonnet »Goodness gracious me now do you really live in
the city«
»Is it so very unusual for anybody to live there« asked Kate half smiling
»I couldnt have believed it possible that any young woman could have lived
there under any circumstances whatever for three days together« replied Miss
Knag
»Reduced I should say poor people« answered Kate correcting herself
hastily for she was afraid of appearing proud »must live where they can«
»Ah very true so they must very proper indeed« rejoined Miss Knag with
that sort of half sigh which accompanied by two or three slight nods of the
head is pitys small change in general society »and thats what I very often
tell my brother when our servants go away ill one after another and he thinks
the back kitchens rather too damp for em to sleep in These sort of people I
tell him are glad to sleep anywhere Heaven suits the back to the burden What
a nice thing it is to think that it should be so isnt it«
»Very« replied Kate
»Ill walk with you part of the way my dear« said Miss Knag »for you must
go very near our house and as its quite dark and our last servant went to the
hospital a week ago with Saint Anthonys fire in her face I shall be glad of
your company«
Kate would willingly have excused herself from this flattering
companionship but Miss Knag having adjusted her bonnet to her entire
satisfaction took her arm with an air which plainly showed how much she felt
the compliment she was conferring and they were in the street before she could
say another word
»I fear« said Kate hesitating »that mama my mother I mean is waiting
for me«
»You neednt make the least apology my dear« said Miss Knag smiling
sweetly as she spoke »I dare say she is a very respectable old person and I
shall be quite hem quite pleased to know her«
As poor Mrs Nickleby was cooling not her heels alone but her limbs
generally at the street corner Kate had no alternative but to make her known to
Miss Knag who doing the last new carriage customer at secondhand
acknowledged the introduction with condescending politeness The three then
walked away arm in arm with Miss Knag in the middle in a special state of
amiability
»I have taken such a fancy to your daughter Mrs Nickleby you cant
think« said Miss Knag after she had proceeded a little distance in dignified
silence
»I am delighted to hear it« said Mrs Nickleby »though it is nothing new
to me that even strangers should like Kate«
»Hem« cried Miss Knag
»You will like her better when you know how good she is« said Mrs
Nickleby »It is a great blessing to me in my misfortunes to have a child who
knows neither pride nor vanity and whose bringingup might very well have
excused a little of both at first You dont know what it is to lose a husband
Miss Knag«
As Miss Knag had never yet known what it was to gain one it followed very
nearly as a matter of course that she didnt know what it was to lose one so
she said in some haste »No indeed I dont« and said it with an air intending
to signify that she should like to catch herself marrying anybody no no she
knew better than that
»Kate has improved even in this little time I have no doubt« said Mrs
Nickleby glancing proudly at her daughter
»Oh of course« said Miss Knag
»And will improve still more« added Mrs Nickleby
»That she will Ill be bound« replied Miss Knag squeezing Kates arm in
her own to point the joke
»She always was clever« said poor Mrs Nickleby brightening up »always
from a baby I recollect when she was only two years and a half old that a
gentleman who used to visit very much at our house Mr Watkins you know
Kate my dear that your poor papa went bail for who afterwards ran away to the
United States and sent us a pair of snow shoes with such an affectionate
letter that it made your poor dear father cry for a week You remember the
letter In which he said that he was very sorry he couldnt repay the fifty
pounds just then because his capital was all out at interest and he was very
busy making his fortune but that he didnt forget you were his goddaughter
and he should take it very unkind if we didnt buy you a silver coral and put it
down to his old account Dear me yes my dear how stupid you are and spoke so
affectionately of the old port wine that he used to drink a bottle and a half of
every time he came You must remember Kate«
»Yes yes mama what of him«
»Why that Mr Watkins my dear« said Mrs Nickleby slowly as if she were
making a tremendous effort to recollect something of paramount importance »that
Mr Watkins he wasnt any relation Miss Knag will understand to the Watkins
who kept the Old Boar in the village by the bye I dont remember whether it
was the Old Boar or the George the Third but it was one of the two I know and
its much the same that Mr Watkins said when you were only two years and a
half old that you were one of the most astonishing children he ever saw He did
indeed Miss Knag and he wasnt at all fond of children and couldnt have had
the slightest motive for doing it I know it was he who said so because I
recollect as well as if it was only yesterday his borrowing twenty pounds of
her poor dear papa the very moment afterwards«
Having quoted this extraordinary and most disinterested testimony to her
daughters excellence Mrs Nickleby stopped to breathe and Miss Knag finding
that the discourse was turning upon family greatness lost no time in striking
in with a small reminiscence on her own account
»Dont talk of lending money Mrs Nickleby« said Miss Knag »or youll
drive me crazy perfectly crazy My mama hem was the most lovely and
beautiful creature with the most striking and exquisite hem the most
exquisite nose that ever was put upon a human face I do believe Mrs Nickleby«
here Miss Knag rubbed her own nose sympathetically »the most delightful and
accomplished woman perhaps that ever was seen but she had that one failing of
lending money and carried it to such an extent that she lent hem oh
thousands of pounds all our little fortunes and whats more Mrs Nickleby I
dont think if we were to live till till hem till the very end of time
that we should ever get them back again I dont indeed«
After concluding this effort of invention without being interrupted Miss
Knag fell into many more recollections no less interesting than true the full
tide of which Mrs Nickleby in vain attempting to stem at length sailed
smoothly down by adding an undercurrent of her own recollections and so both
ladies went on talking together in perfect contentment the only difference
between them being that whereas Miss Knag addressed herself to Kate and
talked very loud Mrs Nickleby kept on in one unbroken monotonous flow
perfectly satisfied to be talking and caring very little whether anybody
listened or not
In this manner they walked on very amicably until they arrived at Miss
Knags brothers who was an ornamental stationer and small circulating library
keeper in a bystreet off Tottenham Court Road and who let out by the day
week month or year the newest old novels whereof the titles were displayed
in penandink characters on a sheet of pasteboard swinging at his doorpost
As Miss Knag happened at the moment to be in the middle of an account of her
twentysecond offer from a gentleman of large property she insisted upon their
all going in to supper together and in they went
»Dont go away Mortimer« said Miss Knag as they entered the shop »Its
only one of our young ladies and her mother Mrs and Miss Nickleby«
»Oh indeed« said Mr Mortimer Knag »Ah«
Having given utterance to these ejaculations with a very profound and
thoughtful air Mr Knag slowly snuffed two kitchen candles on the counter and
two more in the window and then snuffed himself from a box in his waistcoat
pocket
There was something very impressive in the ghostly air with which all this
was done and as Mr Knag was a tall lank gentleman of solemn features wearing
spectacles and garnished with much less hair than a gentleman bordering on
forty or thereabouts usually boasts Mrs Nickleby whispered her daughter that
she thought he must be literary
»Past ten« said Mr Knag consulting his watch »Thomas close the
warehouse«
Thomas was a boy nearly half as tall as a shutter and the warehouse was a
shop about the size of three hackney coaches
»Ah« said Mr Knag once more heaving a deep sigh as he restored to its
parent shelf the book he had been reading »Well yes I believe supper is
ready sister«
With another sigh Mr Knag took up the kitchen candles from the counter and
preceded the ladies with mournful steps to a back parlour where a charwoman
employed in the absence of the sick servant and remunerated with certain
eighteenpences to be deducted from her wages due was putting the supper out
»Mrs Blockson« said Miss Knag reproachfully »how very often I have
begged you not to come into the room with your bonnet on«
»I cant help it Miss Knag« said the charwoman bridling up on the
shortest notice »Theres been a deal o cleaning to do in this house and if
you dont like it I must trouble you to look out for somebody else for it
dont hardly pay me and thats the truth if I was to be hung this minute«
»I dont want any remarks if you please« said Miss Knag with a strong
emphasis on the personal pronoun »Is there any fire down stairs for some hot
water presently«
»No there is not indeed Miss Knag« replied the substitute »and so I
wont tell you no stories about it«
»Then why isnt there« said Miss Knag
»Because there ant no coals left out and if I could make coals I would
but as I cant I wont and so I make bold to tell you Mem« replied Mrs
Blockson
»Will you hold your tongue female« said Mr Mortimer Knag plunging
violently into this dialogue
»By your leave Mr Knag« retorted the charwoman turning sharp round
»Im only too glad not to speak in this house excepting when and where Im
spoke to sir and with regard to being a female sir I should wish to know
what you considered yourself«
»A miserable wretch« exclaimed Mr Knag striking his forehead »A
miserable wretch«
»Im very glad to find that you dont call yourself out of your name sir«
said Mrs Blockson »and as I had two twin children the day before yesterday was
only seven weeks and my little Charley fell down a airy and put his elber out
last Monday I shall take it as a favior if youll send nine shillings for one
weeks work to my house afore the clock strikes ten tomorrow«
With these parting words the good woman quitted the room with great ease of
manner leaving the door wide open Mr Knag at the same moment flung himself
into the warehouse and groaned aloud
»What is the matter with that gentleman pray« inquired Mrs Nickleby
greatly disturbed by the sound
»Is he ill« inquired Kate really alarmed
»Hush« replied Miss Knag »a most melancholy history He was once most
devotedly attached to hem to Madame Mantalini«
»Bless me« exclaimed Mrs Nickleby
»Yes« continued Miss Knag »and received great encouragement too and
confidently hoped to marry her He has a most romantic heart Mrs Nickleby as
indeed hem as indeed all our family have and the disappointment was a
dreadful blow He is a wonderfully accomplished man most extraordinarily
accomplished reads hem reads every novel that comes out I mean every
novel that hem that has any fashion in it of course The fact is that he
did find so much in the books he read applicable to his own misfortunes and
did find himself in every respect so much like the heroes because of course he
is conscious of his own superiority as we all are and very naturally that he
took to scorning everything and became a genius and I am quite sure that he
is at this very present moment writing another book«
»Another book« repeated Kate finding that a pause was left for somebody to
say something
»Yes« said Miss Knag nodding in great triumph »another book in three
volumes post octavo Of course its a great advantage to him in all his little
fashionable descriptions to have the benefit of my hem of my experience
because of course few authors who write about such things can have such
opportunities of knowing them as I have Hes so wrapped up in high life that
the least allusion to business or worldly matters like that woman just now
for instance quite distracts him but as I often say I think his
disappointment a great thing for him because if he hadnt been disappointed he
couldnt have written about blighted hopes and all that and the fact is if it
hadnt happened as it has I dont believe his genius would ever have come out
at all«
How much more communicative Miss Knag might have become under more
favourable circumstances it is impossible to divine but as the gloomy one was
within earshot and the fire wanted making up her disclosures stopped here To
judge from all appearances and the difficulty of making the water warm the
last servant could not have been much accustomed to any other fire than St
Anthonys but a little brandy and water was made at last and the guests
having been previously regaled with cold leg of mutton and bread and cheese
soon afterwards took leave Kate amusing herself all the way home with the
recollection of her last glimpse of Mr Mortimer Knag deeply abstracted in the
shop and Mrs Nickleby by debating within herself whether the dressmaking firm
would ultimately become Mantalini Knag and Nickleby or Mantalini Nickleby
and Knag
At this high point Miss Knags friendship remained for three whole days
much to the wonderment of Madame Mantalinis young ladies who had never beheld
such constancy in that quarter before but on the fourth it received a check no
less violent than sudden which thus occurred
It happened that an old lord of great family who was going to marry a young
lady of no family in particular came with the young lady and the young ladys
sister to witness the ceremony of trying on two nuptial bonnets which had been
ordered the day before and Madame Mantalini announcing the fact in a shrill
treble through the speakingpipe which communicated with the workroom Miss
Knag darted hastily up stairs with a bonnet in each hand and presented herself
in the showroom in a charming state of palpitation intended to demonstrate
her enthusiasm in the cause The bonnets were no sooner fairly on than Miss
Knag and Madame Mantalini fell into convulsions of admiration
»A most elegant appearance« said Madame Mantalini
»I never saw anything so exquisite in all my life« said Miss Knag
Now the old lord who was a very old lord said nothing but mumbled and
chuckled in a state of great delight no less with the nuptial bonnets and their
wearers than with his own address in getting such a fine woman for his wife
and the young lady who was a very lively young lady seeing the old lord in
this rapturous condition chased the old lord behind a chevalglass and then
and there kissed him while Madame Mantalini and the other young lady looked
discreetly another way
But pending the salutation Miss Knag who was tinged with curiosity
stepped accidentally behind the glass and encountered the lively young ladys
eye just at the very moment when she kissed the old lord upon which the young
lady in a pouting manner murmured something about »an old thing« and »great
impertinence« and finished by darting a look of displeasure at Miss Knag and
smiling contemptuously
»Madame Mantalini« said the young lady
»Maam« said Madame Mantalini
»Pray have up that pretty young creature we saw yesterday«
»Oh yes do« said the sister
»Of all things in the world Madame Mantalini« said the lords intended
throwing herself languidly on a sofa »I hate being waited upon by frights or
elderly persons Let me always see that young creature I beg whenever I come«
»By all means« said the old lord »the lovely young creature by all
means«
»Everybody is talking about her« said the young lady in the same careless
manner »and my lord being a great admirer of beauty must positively see her«
»She is universally admired« replied Madame Mantalini »Miss Knag send up
Miss Nickleby You neednt return«
»I beg your pardon Madame Mantalini what did you say last« asked Miss
Knag trembling
»You neednt return« repeated the superior sharply Miss Knag vanished
without another word and in all reasonable time was replaced by Kate who took
off the new bonnets and put on the old ones blushing very much to find that the
old lord and the two young ladies were staring her out of countenance all the
time
»Why how you colour child« said the lords chosen bride
»She is not quite so accustomed to her business as she will be in a week or
two« interposed Madame Mantalini with a gracious smile
»I am afraid you have been giving her some of your wicked looks my lord«
said the intended
»No no no« replied the old lord »no no Im going to be married and
lead a new life Ha ha ha a new life a new life ha ha ha«
It was a satisfactory thing to hear that the old gentleman was going to lead
a new life for it was pretty evident that his old one would not last him much
longer The mere exertion of protracted chuckling reduced him to a fearful ebb
of coughing and gasping it was some minutes before he could find breath to
remark that the girl was too pretty for a milliner
»I hope you dont think good looks a disqualification for the business my
lord« said Madame Mantalini simpering
»Not by any means« replied the old lord »or you would have left it long
ago«
»You naughty creature« said the lively lady poking the peer with her
parasol »I wont have you talk so How dare you«
This playful inquiry was accompanied with another poke and another and
then the old lord caught the parasol and wouldnt give it up again which
induced the other lady to come to the rescue and some very pretty sportiveness
ensued
»You will see that those little alterations are made Madame Mantalini«
said the lady »Nay you bad man you positively shall go first I wouldnt
leave you behind with that pretty girl not for half a second I know you too
well Jane my dear let him go first and we shall be quite sure of him«
The old lord evidently much flattered by this suspicion bestowed a
grotesque leer upon Kate as he passed and receiving another tap with the
parasol for his wickedness tottered down stairs to the door where his
sprightly body was hoisted into the carriage by two stout footmen
»Foh« said Madame Mantalini »how he ever gets into a carriage without
thinking of a hearse I cant think There take the things away my dear take
them away«
Kate who had remained during the whole scene with her eyes modestly fixed
upon the ground was only too happy to avail herself of the permission to
retire and hasten joyfully down stairs to Miss Knags dominion
The circumstances of the little kingdom had greatly changed however during
the short period of her absence In place of Miss Knag being stationed in her
accustomed seat preserving all the dignity and greatness of Madame Mantalinis
representative that worthy soul was reposing on a large box bathed in tears
while three or four of the young ladies in close attendance upon her together
with the presence of hartshorn vinegar and other restoratives would have
borne ample testimony even without the derangement of the headdress and front
row of curls to her having fainted desperately
»Bless me« said Kate stepping hastily forward »What is the matter«
This inquiry produced in Miss Knag violent symptoms of a relapse and
several young ladies darting angry looks at Kate applied more vinegar and
hartshorn and said it was »a shame«
»What is a shame« demanded Kate »What is the matter What has happened
tell me«
»Matter« cried Miss Knag coming all at once bolt upright to the great
consternation of the assembled maidens »Matter Fie upon you you nasty
creature«
»Gracious« cried Kate almost paralysed by the violence with which the
adjective had been jerked out from between Miss Knags closed teeth »have I
offended you«
»You offended me« retorted Miss Knag »You a chit a child an upstart
nobody Oh indeed Ha ha«
Now it was evident as Miss Knag laughed that something struck her as
being exceedingly funny and as the young ladies took their tone from Miss Knag
she being the chief they all got up a laugh without a moments delay and
nodded their heads a little and smiled sarcastically to each other as much as
to say how very good that was
»Here she is« continued Miss Knag getting off the box and introducing
Kate with much ceremony and many low curtseys to the delighted throng »here she
is everybody is talking about her the belle ladies the beauty the oh
you boldfaced thing«
At this crisis Miss Knag was unable to repress a virtuous shudder which
immediately communicated itself to all the young ladies after which Miss Knag
laughed and after that cried
»For fifteen years« exclaimed Miss Knag sobbing in a most affecting
manner »for fifteen years have I been the credit and ornament of this room and
the one up stairs Thank God« said Miss Knag stamping first her right foot and
then her left with remarkable energy »I have never in all that time till now
been exposed to the arts the vile arts of a creature who disgraces us with
all her proceedings and makes proper people blush for themselves But I feel
it I do feel it although I am disgusted«
Miss Knag here relapsed into softness and the young ladies renewing their
attentions murmured that she ought to be superior to such things and that for
their part they despised them and considered them beneath their notice in
witness whereof they called out more emphatically than before that it was a
shame and that they felt so angry they did they hardly knew what to do with
themselves
»Have I lived to this day to be called a fright« cried Miss Knag suddenly
becoming convulsive and making an effort to tear her front off
»Oh no no« replied the chorus »pray dont say so dont now«
»Have I deserved to be called an elderly person« screamed Miss Knag
wrestling with the supernumeraries
»Dont think of such things dear« answered the chorus
»I hate her« cried Miss Knag »I detest and hate her Never let her speak
to me again never let anybody who is a friend of mine speak to her a slut a
hussy an impudent artful hussy« Having denounced the object of her wrath in
these terms Miss Knag screamed once hiccuped thrice gurgled in her throat
several times slumbered shivered woke came to composed her headdress and
declared herself quite well again
Poor Kate had regarded these proceedings at first in perfect bewilderment
She had then turned red and pale by turns and once or twice essayed to speak
but as the true motives of this altered behaviour developed themselves she
retired a few paces and looked calmly on without deigning a reply
Nevertheless although she walked proudly to her seat and turned her back upon
the group of little satellites who clustered round their ruling planet in the
remotest corner of the room she gave way in secret to some such bitter tears
as would have gladdened Miss Knags inmost soul if she could have seen them
fall
Chapter XIX
Descriptive of a Dinner at Mr Ralph Nicklebys and of the Manner in Which the
Company Entertained Themselves Before Dinner at Dinner and After Dinner
The bile and rancour of the worthy Miss Knag undergoing no diminution during the
remainder of the week but rather augmenting with every successive hour and the
honest ire of all the young ladies rising or seeming to rise in exact
proportion to the good spinsters indignation and both waxing very hot every
time Miss Nickleby was called up stairs it will be readily imagined that that
young ladys daily life was none of the most cheerful or enviable kind She
hailed the arrival of Saturday night as a prisoner would a few delicious hours
respite from slow and wearing torture and felt that the poor pittance for her
first weeks labour would have been dearly and hardly earned had its amount
been trebled
When she joined her mother as usual at the street corner she was not a
little surprised to find her in conversation with Mr Ralph Nickleby but her
surprise was soon redoubled no less by the matter of their conversation than
by the smoothed and altered manner of Mr Nickleby himself
»Ah my dear« said Ralph »we were at that moment talking about you«
»Indeed« replied Kate shrinking though she scarce knew why from her
uncles cold glistening eye
»That instant« said Ralph »I was coming to call for you making sure to
catch you before you left but your mother and I have been talking over family
affairs and the time has slipped away so rapidly «
»Well now hasnt it« interposed Mrs Nickleby quite insensible to the
sarcastic tone of Ralphs last remark »Upon my word I couldnt have believed
it possible that such a Kate my dear youre to dine with your uncle at
halfpast six oclock tomorrow«
Triumphing in having been the first to communicate this extraordinary
intelligence Mrs Nickleby nodded and smiled a great many times to impress its
full magnificence on Kates wondering mind and then flew off at an acute
angle to a committee of ways and means
»Let me see« said the good lady »Your black silk frock will be quite dress
enough my dear with that pretty little scarf and a plain band in your hair
and a pair of black silk stock Dear dear« cried Mrs Nickleby flying off
at another angle »if I had but those unfortunate amethysts of mine you
recollect them Kate my love how they used to sparkle you know but your
papa your poor dear papa ah there never was anything so cruelly sacrificed
as those jewels were never« Overpowered by this agonising thought Mrs
Nickleby shook her head in a melancholy manner and applied her handkerchief to
her eyes
»I dont want them mama indeed« said Kate »Forget that you ever had
them«
»Lord Kate my dear« rejoined Mrs Nickleby pettishly »how like a child
you talk Fourandtwenty silver teaspoons brotherinlaw two gravies four
salts all the amethysts necklace brooch and earrings all made away with
at the same time and I saying almost on my bended knees to that poor good
soul Why dont you do something Nicholas Why dont you make some arrangement
I am sure that anybody who was about us at that time will do me the justice to
own that if I said that once I said it fifty times aday Didnt I Kate my
dear Did I ever lose an opportunity of impressing it on your poor papa«
»No no mama never« replied Kate And to do Mrs Nickleby justice she
never had lost and to do married ladies as a body justice they seldom do lose
any occasion of inculcating similar golden precepts whose only blemish is
the slight degree of vagueness and uncertainty in which they are usually
enveloped
»Ah« said Mrs Nickleby with great fervour »if my advice had been taken
at the beginning Well I have always done my duty and thats some comfort«
When she had arrived at this reflection Mrs Nickleby sighed rubbed her
hands cast up her eyes and finally assumed a look of meek composure thus
importing that she was a persecuted saint but that she wouldnt trouble her
hearers by mentioning a circumstance which must be so obvious to everybody
»Now« said Ralph with a smile which in common with all other tokens of
emotion seemed to skulk under his face rather than play boldly over it »to
return to the point from which we have strayed I have a little party of of
gentlemen with whom I am connected in business just now at my house tomorrow
and your mother has promised that you shall keep house for me I am not much
used to parties but this is one of business and such fooleries are an
important part of it sometimes You dont mind obliging me«
»Mind« cried Mrs Nickleby »My dear Kate why «
»Pray« interrupted Ralph motioning her to be silent »I spoke to my
niece«
»I shall be very glad of course uncle« replied Kate »but I am afraid you
will find me awkward and embarrassed«
»Oh no« said Ralph »come when you like in a hackney coach Ill pay for
it Good night a a God bless you«
The blessing seemed to stick in Mr Ralph Nicklebys throat as if it were
not used to the thoroughfare and didnt know the way out But it got out
somehow though awkwardly enough and having disposed of it he shook hands with
his two relatives and abruptly left them
»What a very strongly marked countenance your uncle has« said Mrs
Nickleby quite struck with his parting look »I dont see the slightest
resemblance to his poor brother«
»Mama« said Kate reprovingly »To think of such a thing«
»No« said Mrs Nickleby musing »There certainly is none But its a very
honest face«
The worthy matron made this remark with great emphasis and elocution as if
it comprised no small quantity of ingenuity and research and in truth it was
not unworthy of being classed among the extraordinary discoveries of the age
Kate looked up hastily and as hastily looked down again
»What has come over you my dear in the name of goodness« asked Mrs
Nickleby when they had walked on for some time in silence
»I was only thinking mama« answered Kate
»Thinking« repeated Mrs Nickleby »Aye and indeed plenty to think about
too Your uncle has taken a strong fancy to you thats quite clear and if some
extraordinary good fortune doesnt come to you after this I shall be a little
surprised thats all«
With this she launched out into sundry anecdotes of young ladies who had
had thousandpound notes given them in reticules by eccentric uncles and of
young ladies who had accidentally met amiable gentlemen of enormous wealth at
their uncles houses and married them after short but ardent courtships and
Kate listening first in apathy and afterwards in amusement felt as they
walked home something of her mothers sanguine complexion gradually awakening
in her own bosom and began to think that her prospects might be brightening
and that better days might be dawning upon them Such is hope Heavens own gift
to struggling mortals pervading like some subtle essence from the skies all
things both good and bad as universal as death and more infectious than
disease
The feeble winters sun and winters suns in the city are very feeble
indeed might have brightened up as he shone through the dim windows of the
large old house on witnessing the unusual sight which one halffurnished room
displayed In a gloomy corner where for years had stood a silent dusty pile
of merchandise sheltering its colony of mice and frowning a dull and lifeless
mass upon the panelled room save when responding to the roll of heavy waggons
in the street without it quaked with sturdy tremblings and caused the bright
eyes of its tiny citizens to grow brighter still with fear and struck them
motionless with attentive ear and palpitating heart until the alarm had passed
away in this dark corner was arranged with scrupulous care all Kates
little finery for the day each article of dress partaking of that indescribable
air of jauntiness and individuality which empty garments whether by
association or that they become moulded as it were to the owners form will
take in eyes accustomed to or picturing the wearers smartness In place of a
bale of musty goods there lay the black silk dress the neatest possible figure
in itself. The small shoes with toes delicately turned out stood upon the very
pressure of some old iron weight and a pile of harsh discoloured leather had
unconsciously given place to the very same little pair of black silk stockings
which had been the objects of Mrs Nicklebys peculiar care Rats and mice and
such small gear had long ago been starved or had emigrated to better quarters
and in their stead appeared gloves bands scarfs hairpins and many other
little devices almost as ingenious in their ways as rats and mice themselves
for the tantalisation of mankind About and among them all moved Kate herself
not the least beautiful or unwonted relief to the stern old gloomy building
In good time or in bad time as the reader likes to take it for Mrs
Nicklebys impatience went a great deal faster than the clocks at that end of
the town and Kate was dressed to the very last hairpin a full hour and a half
before it was at all necessary to begin to think about it in good time or in
bad time the toilet was completed and it being at length the hour agreed upon
for starting the milkman fetched a coach from the nearest stand and Kate with
many adieux to her mother and many kind messages to Miss La Creevy who was to
come to tea seated herself in it and went away in state if ever anybody went
away in state in a hackney coach yet And the coach and the coachman and the
horses rattled and jangled and whipped and cursed and swore and tumbled on
together until they came to Golden Square
The coachman gave a tremendous double knock at the door which was opened
long before he had done as quickly as if there had been a man behind it with
his hand tied to the latch Kate who had expected no more uncommon appearance
than Newman Noggs in a clean shirt was not a little astonished to see that the
opener was a man in handsome livery and that there were two or three others in
the hall There was no doubt about its being the right house however for there
was the name upon the door so she accepted the laced coatsleeve which was
tendered her and entering the house was ushered up stairs into a back
drawingroom where she was left alone
If she had been surprised at the apparition of the footman she was
perfectly absorbed in amazement at the richness and splendour of the furniture
The softest and most elegant carpets the most exquisite pictures the costliest
mirrors articles of richest ornament quite dazzling from their beauty and
perplexing from the prodigality with which they were scattered around
encountered her on every side The very staircase nearly down to the hall door
was crammed with beautiful and luxurious things as though the house were
brimfull of riches which with a very trifling addition would fairly run over
into the street
Presently she heard a series of loud double knocks at the streetdoor and
after every knock some new voice in the next room the tones of Mr Ralph
Nickleby were easily distinguishable at first but by degrees they merged into
the general buzz of conversation and all she could ascertain was that there
were several gentlemen with no very musical voices who talked very loud
laughed very heartily and swore more than she would have thought quite
necessary But this was a question of taste
At length the door opened and Ralph himself divested of his boots and
ceremoniously embellished with black silks and shoes presented his crafty face
»I couldnt see you before my dear« he said in a low tone and pointing
as he spoke to the next room »I was engaged in receiving them Now shall I
take you in«
»Pray uncle« said Kate a little flurried as people much more conversant
with society often are when they are about to enter a room full of strangers
and have had time to think of it previously »are there any ladies here«
»No« said Ralph shortly »I dont know any«
»Must I go in immediately« asked Kate drawing back a little
»As you please« said Ralph shrugging his shoulders »They are all come
and dinner will be announced directly afterwards thats all«
Kate would have entreated a few minutes respite but reflecting that her
uncle might consider the payment of the hackneycoach fare a sort of bargain for
her punctuality she suffered him to draw her arm through his and to lead her
away
Seven or eight gentlemen were standing round the fire when they went in
and as they were talking very loud were not aware of their entrance until Mr
Ralph Nickleby touching one on the coatsleeve said in a harsh emphatic voice
as if to attract general attention
»Lord Frederick Verisopht my niece Miss Nickleby«
The group dispersed as if in great surprise and the gentleman addressed
turning round exhibited a suit of clothes of the most superlative cut a pair
of whiskers of similar quality a moustache a head of hair and a young face
»Eh« said the gentleman »What the deyvle«
With which broken ejaculations he fixed his glass in his eye and stared at
Miss Nickleby in great surprise
»My niece my lord« said Ralph
»Then my ears did not deceive me and its not waax work« said his
lordship »How de do Im very happy« And then his lordship turned to another
superlative gentleman something older something stouter something redder in
the face and something longer upon town and said in a loud whisper that the
girl was »deyvlish pitty«
»Introduce me Nickleby« said this second gentleman who was lounging with
his back to the fire and both elbows on the chimneypiece
»Sir Mulberry Hawk« said Ralph
»Otherwise the most knowing card in the paack Miss Nickleby« said Lord
Frederick Verisopht
»Dont leave me out Nickleby« cried a sharpfaced gentleman who was
sitting on a low chair with a high back reading the paper
»Mr Pyke« said Ralph
»Nor me Nickleby« cried a gentleman with a flushed face and a flash air
from the elbow of Sir Mulberry Hawk
»Mr Pluck« said Ralph Then wheeling about again towards a gentleman with
the neck of a stork and the legs of no animal in particular Ralph introduced
him as the Honourable Mr Snobb and a whiteheaded person at the table as
Colonel Chowser The colonel was in conversation with somebody who appeared to
be a makeweight and was not introduced at all
There were two circumstances which in this early stage of the party struck
home to Kates bosom and brought the blood tingling to her face One was the
flippant contempt with which the guests evidently regarded her uncle and the
other the easy insolence of their manner towards herself That the first
symptom was very likely to lead to the aggravation of the second it needed no
great penetration to foresee And here Mr Ralph Nickleby had reckoned without
his host for however fresh from the country a young lady by nature may be
and however unacquainted with conventional behaviour the chances are that she
will have quite as strong an innate sense of the decencies and proprieties of
life as if she had run the gauntlet of a dozen London seasons possibly a
stronger one for such senses have been known to blunt in this improving
process
When Ralph had completed the ceremonial of introduction he led his blushing
niece to a seat As he did so he glanced warily round as though to assure
himself of the impression which her unlookedfor appearance had created
»An unexpected playsure Nickleby« said Lord Frederick Verisopht taking
his glass out of his right eye where it had until now done duty on Kate and
fixing it in his left to bring it to bear on Ralph
»Designed to surprise you Lord Frederick« said Mr Pluck
»Not a bad idea« said his lordship »and one that would almost warrant the
addition of an extra two and a half per cent«
»Nickleby« said Sir Mulberry Hawk in a thick coarse voice »take the hint
and tack it on to the other fiveandtwenty or whatever it is and give me half
for the advice«
Sir Mulberry garnished this speech with a hoarse laugh and terminated it
with a pleasant oath regarding Mr Nicklebys limbs whereat Messrs Pyke and
Pluck laughed consumedly
These gentlemen had not yet quite recovered the jest when dinner was
announced and then they were thrown into fresh ecstasies by a similar cause
for Sir Mulberry Hawk in an excess of humour shot dexterously past Lord
Frederick Verisopht who was about to lead Kate down stairs and drew her arm
through his up to the elbow
»No damn it Verisopht« said Sir Mulberry »fair plays a jewel and Miss
Nickleby and I settled the matter with our eyes ten minutes ago«
»Ha ha ha« laughed the Honourable Mr Snobb »very good very good«
Rendered additionally witty by this applause Sir Mulberry Hawk leered upon
his friends most facetiously and led Kate down stairs with an air of
familiarity which roused in her gentle breast such burning indignation as she
felt it almost impossible to repress Nor was the intensity of these feelings at
all diminished when she found herself placed at the top of the table with Sir
Mulberry Hawk and Lord Frederick Verisopht on either side
»Oh youve found your way into our neighbourhood have you« said Sir
Mulberry as his lordship sat down
»Of course« replied Lord Frederick fixing his eyes on Miss Nickleby »how
can you aask me«
»Well you attend to your dinner« said Sir Mulberry »and dont mind Miss
Nickleby and me for we shall prove very indifferent company I dare say«
»I wish youd interfere here Nickleby« said Lord Frederick
»What is the matter my lord« demanded Ralph from the bottom of the table
where he was supported by Messrs Pyke and Pluck
»This fellow Hawk is monopolising your niece« said Lord Frederick
»He has a tolerable share of every thing that you lay claim to my lord«
said Ralph with a sneer
»Gad so he has« replied the young man »deyvle take me if I know which is
master in my house he or I«
»I know« muttered Ralph
»I think I shall cut him off with a shilling« said the young nobleman
jocosely
»No no curse it« said Sir Mulberry »When you come to the shilling the
last shilling Ill cut you fast enough but till then Ill never leave you
you may take your oath of it«
This sally which was strictly founded on fact was received with a general
roar above which was plainly distinguishable the laughter of Mr Pyke and Mr
Pluck who were evidently Sir Mulberrys toads in ordinary Indeed it was not
difficult to see that the majority of the company preyed upon the unfortunate
young lord who weak and silly as he was appeared by far the least vicious of
the party Sir Mulberry Hawk was remarkable for his tact in ruining by himself
and his creatures young gentlemen of fortune a genteel and elegant
profession of which he had undoubtedly gained the head With all the boldness
of an original genius he had struck out an entirely new course of treatment
quite opposed to the usual method his custom being when he had gained the
ascendancy over those he took in hand rather to keep them down than to give
them their own way and to exercise his vivacity upon them openly and without
reserve Thus he made them butts in a double sense and while he emptied them
with great address caused them to ring with sundry welladministered taps for
the diversion of society
The dinner was as remarkable for the splendour and completeness of its
appointments as the mansion itself, and the company were remarkable for doing it
ample justice in which respect Messrs Pyke and Pluck particularly signalised
themselves these two gentlemen eating of every dish and drinking of every
bottle with a capacity and perseverance truly astonishing They were remarkably
fresh too notwithstanding their great exertions for on the appearance of the
dessert they broke out again as if nothing serious had taken place since
breakfast
»Well« said Lord Frederick sipping his first glass of port »if this is a
discounting dinner all I have to say is deyvle take me if it wouldnt be a
good plaan to get discount every day«
»Youll have plenty of it in your time« returned Sir Mulberry Hawk
»Nickleby will tell you that«
»What do you say Nickleby« inquired the young man »am I to be a good
customer«
»It depends entirely on circumstances my lord« replied Ralph
»On your lordships circumstances« interposed Colonel Chowser of the
Militia and the racecourses
The gallant colonel glanced at Messrs Pyke and Pluck as if he thought they
ought to laugh at his joke but those gentlemen being only engaged to laugh for
Sir Mulberry Hawk were to his signal discomfiture as grave as a pair of
undertakers To add to his defeat Sir Mulberry considering any such efforts an
invasion of his peculiar privilege eyed the offender steadily through his
glass as if astonished at his presumption and audibly stated his impression
that it was an infernal liberty which being a hint to Lord Frederick he put up
his glass and surveyed the object of censure as if he were some extraordinary
wild animal then exhibiting for the first time As a matter of course Messrs
Pyke and Pluck stared at the individual whom Sir Mulberry Hawk stared at so
the poor colonel to hide his confusion was reduced to the necessity of holding
his port before his right eye and affecting to scrutinise its colour with the
most lively interest
All this while Kate had sat as silently as she could scarcely daring to
raise her eyes lest they should encounter the admiring gaze of Lord Frederick
Verisopht or what was still more embarrassing the bold looks of his friend
Sir Mulberry The latter gentleman was obliging enough to direct general
attention towards her
»Here is Miss Nickleby« observed Sir Mulberry »wondering why the deuce
somebody doesnt make love to her«
»No indeed« said Kate looking hastily up »I « and then she stopped
feeling it would have been better to have said nothing at all
»Ill hold any man fifty pounds« said Sir Mulberry »that Miss Nickleby
cant look in my face and tell me she wasnt thinking so«
»Done« cried the noble gull »Within ten minutes«
»Done« responded Sir Mulberry The money was produced on both sides and
the Honourable Mr Snobb was elected to the double office of stakeholder and
timekeeper
»Pray« said Kate in great confusion while these preliminaries were in
course of completion »Pray do not make me the subject of any bets Uncle I
cannot really «
»Why not my dear« replied Ralph in whose grating voice however there
was an unusual huskiness as though he spoke unwillingly and would rather that
the proposition had not been broached »It is done in a moment there is nothing
in it If the gentlemen insist on it «
»I dont insist on it« said Sir Mulberry with a loud laugh »That is I by
no means insist upon Miss Nicklebys making the denial for if she does I lose
but I shall be glad to see her bright eyes especially as she favours the
mahogany so much«
»So she does and its too baad of you Miss Nickleby« said the noble
youth
»Quite cruel« said Mr Pyke
»Horrid cruel« said Mr Pluck
»I dont care if I do lose« said Sir Mulberry »for one tolerable look at
Miss Nicklebys eyes is worth double the money«
»More« said Mr Pyke
»Far more« said Mr Pluck
»How goes the enemy Snobb« asked Sir Mulberry Hawk
»Four minutes gone«
»Bravo«
»Wont you maake one effort for me Miss Nickleby« asked Lord Frederick
after a short interval
»You neednt trouble yourself to inquire my buck« said Sir Mulberry »Miss
Nickleby and I understand each other she declares on my side and shows her
taste You havent a chance old fellow Time Snobb«
»Eight minutes gone«
»Get the money ready« said Sir Mulberry »youll soon hand over«
»Ha ha ha« laughed Mr Pyke
Mr Pluck who always came second and topped his companion if he could
screamed outright
The poor girl who was so overwhelmed with confusion that she scarcely knew
what she did had determined to remain perfectly quiet but fearing that by so
doing she might seem to countenance Sir Mulberrys boast which had been uttered
with great coarseness and vulgarity of manner raised her eyes and looked him
in the face There was something so odious so insolent so repulsive in the
look which met her that without the power to stammer forth a syllable she
rose and hurried from the room She restrained her tears by a great effort until
she was alone up stairs and then gave them vent
»Capital« said Sir Mulberry Hawk putting the stakes in his pocket »Thats
a girl of spirit and well drink her health«
It is needless to say that Pyke and Co responded with great warmth of
manner to this proposal or that the toast was drunk with many little
insinuations from the firm relative to the completeness of Sir Mulberrys
conquest Ralph who while the attention of the other guests was attracted to
the principals in the preceding scene had eyed them like a wolf appeared to
breathe more freely now his niece was gone the decanters passing quickly round
he leaned back in his chair and turned his eyes from speaker to speaker as
they warmed with wine with looks that seemed to search their hearts and lay
bare for his distempered sport every idle thought within them
Meanwhile Kate left wholly to herself had in some degree recovered her
composure She had learnt from a female attendant that her uncle wished to see
her before she left and had also gleaned the satisfactory intelligence that
the gentlemen would take coffee at table The prospect of seeing them no more
contributed greatly to calm her agitation and taking up a book she composed
herself to read
She started sometimes when the sudden opening of the diningroom door let
loose a wild shout of noisy revelry and more than once rose in great alarm as
a fancied footstep on the staircase impressed her with the fear that some stray
member of the party was returning alone Nothing occurring however to realise
her apprehensions she endeavoured to fix her attention more closely on her
book in which by degrees she became so much interested that she had read on
through several chapters without heed of time or place when she was terrified
by suddenly hearing her name pronounced by a mans voice close at her ear
The book fell from her hand Lounging on an ottoman close beside her was
Sir Mulberry Hawk evidently the worse if a man be a ruffian at heart he is
never the better for wine
»What a delightful studiousness« said this accomplished gentleman »Was it
real now or only to display the eyelashes«
Kate looking anxiously towards the door made no reply
»I have looked at em for five minutes« said Sir Mulberry »Upon my soul
theyre perfect Why did I speak and destroy such a pretty little picture«
»Do me the favour to be silent now sir« replied Kate
»No dont« said Sir Mulberry folding his crush hat to lay his elbow on
and bringing himself still closer to the young lady »upon my life you oughtnt
to Such a devoted slave of yours Miss Nickleby its an infernal thing to
treat him so harshly upon my soul it is«
»I wish you to understand sir« said Kate trembling in spite of herself
but speaking with great indignation »that your behaviour offends and disgusts
me If you have a spark of gentlemanly feeling remaining you will leave me«
»Now why« said Sir Mulberry »why will you keep up this appearance of
excessive rigour my sweet creature Now be more natural my dear Miss
Nickleby be more natural do«
Kate hastily rose but as she rose Sir Mulberry caught her dress and
forcibly detained her
»Let me go sir« she cried her heart swelling with anger »Do you hear
Instantly this moment«
»Sit down sit down« said Sir Mulberry »I want to talk to you«
»Unhand me sir this instant« cried Kate
»Not for the world« rejoined Sir Mulberry Thus speaking he leaned over
as if to replace her in her chair but the young lady making a violent effort
to disengage herself he lost his balance and measured his length upon the
ground As Kate sprung forward to leave the room Mr Ralph Nickleby appeared in
the doorway and confronted her
»What is this« said Ralph
»It is this sir« replied Kate violently agitated »that beneath the roof
where I a helpless girl your dead brothers child should most have found
protection I have been exposed to insult which should make you shrink to look
upon me Let me pass you«
Ralph did shrink as the indignant girl fixed her kindling eye upon him but
he did not comply with her injunction nevertheless for he led her to a distant
seat and returning and approaching Sir Mulberry Hawk who had by this time
risen motioned towards the door
»Your way lies there sir« said Ralph in a suppressed voice that some
devil might have owned with pride
»What do you mean by that« demanded his friend fiercely
The swoln veins stood out like sinews on Ralphs wrinkled forehead and the
nerves about his mouth worked as though some unendurable emotion wrung them but
he smiled disdainfully and again pointed to the door
»Do you know me you old madman« asked Sir Mulberry
»Well« said Ralph The fashionable vagabond for the moment quite quailed
under the steady look of the older sinner and walked towards the door
muttering as he went
»You wanted the lord did you« he said stopping short when he reached the
door as if a new light had broken in upon him and confronting Ralph again
»Damme I was in the way was I«
Ralph smiled again but made no answer
»Who brought him to you first« pursued Sir Mulberry »and how without me
could you ever have wound him in your net as you have«
»The net is a large one and rather full« said Ralph »Take care that it
chokes nobody in the meshes«
»You would sell your flesh and blood for money yourself if you have not
already made a bargain with the devil« retorted the other »Do you mean to tell
me that your pretty niece was not brought here as a decoy for the drunken boy
down stairs«
Although this hurried dialogue was carried on in a suppressed tone on both
sides Ralph looked involuntarily round to ascertain that Kate had not moved her
position so as to be within hearing His adversary saw the advantage he had
gained and followed it up
»Do you mean to tell me« he asked again »that it is not so Do you mean to
say that if he had found his way up here instead of me you wouldnt have been a
little more blind and a little more deaf and a little less flourishing than
you have been Come Nickleby answer me that«
»I tell you this« replied Ralph »that if I brought her here as a matter
of business «
»Aye thats the word« interposed Sir Mulberry with a laugh »Youre
coming to yourself again now«
» As a matter of business« pursued Ralph speaking slowly and firmly as a
man who has made up his mind to say no more »because I thought she might make
some impression on the silly youth you have taken in hand and are lending good
help to ruin I knew knowing him that it would be long before he outraged
her girls feelings and that unless he offended by mere puppyism and emptiness
he would with a little management respect the sex and conduct even of his
usurers niece But if I thought to draw him on more gently by this device I
did not think of subjecting the girl to the licentiousness and brutality of so
old a hand as you And now we understand each other«
»Especially as there was nothing to be got by it eh« sneered Sir
Mulberry
»Exactly so« said Ralph He had turned away and looked over his shoulder
to make this last reply The eyes of the two worthies met with an expression as
if each rascal felt that there was no disguising himself from the other and Sir
Mulberry Hawk shrugged his shoulders and walked slowly out
His friend closed the door and looked restlessly towards the spot where his
niece still remained in the attitude in which he had left her She had flung
herself heavily upon the couch and with her head drooping over the cushion and
her face hidden in her hands seemed to be still weeping in an agony of shame
and grief
Ralph would have walked into any povertystricken debtors house and
pointed him out to a bailiff though in attendance upon a young childs
deathbed without the smallest concern because it would have been a matter
quite in the ordinary course of business and the man would have been an
offender against his only code of morality But here was a young girl who had
done no wrong save that of coming into the world alive who had patiently
yielded to all his wishes who had tried hard to please him above all who
didnt owe him money and he felt awkward and nervous
Ralph took a chair at some distance then another chair a little nearer
then moved a little nearer still then nearer again and finally sat himself on
the same sofa and laid his hand on Kates arm
»Hush my dear« he said as she drew it back and her sobs burst out
afresh »Hush hush Dont mind it now dont think of it«
»Oh for pitys sake let me go home« cried Kate »Let me leave this house
and go home«
»Yes yes« said Ralph »You shall But you must dry your eyes first and
compose yourself Let me raise your head There there«
»Oh uncle« exclaimed Kate clasping her hands »What have I done what
have I done that you should subject me to this If I had wronged you in
thought or word or deed it would have been most cruel to me and the memory
of one you must have loved in some old time but «
»Only listen to me for a moment« interrupted Ralph seriously alarmed by
the violence of her emotions »I didnt know it would be so it was impossible
for me to foresee it I did all I could Come let us walk about You are
faint with the closeness of the room and the heat of these lamps You will be
better now if you make the slightest effort«
»I will do anything« replied Kate »if you will only send me home«
»Well well I will« said Ralph »but you must get back your own looks for
those you have will frighten them and nobody must know of this but you and I
Now let us walk the other way There You look better even now«
With such encouragements as these Ralph Nickleby walked to and fro with
his niece leaning on his arm actually trembling beneath her touch
In the same manner when he judged it prudent to allow her to depart he
supported her down stairs after adjusting her shawl and performing such little
offices most probably for the first time in his life Across the hall and down
the steps Ralph led her too nor did he withdraw his hand until she was seated
in the coach
As the door of the vehicle was roughly closed a comb fell from Kates hair
close at her uncles feet and as he picked it up and returned it into her
hand the light from a neighbouring lamp shone upon her face The lock of hair
that had escaped and curled loosely over her brow the traces of tears yet
scarcely dry the flushed cheek the look of sorrow all fired some dormant
train of recollection in the old mans breast and the face of his dead brother
seemed present before him with the very look it bore on some occasion of boyish
grief of which every minutest circumstance flashed upon his mind with the
distinctness of a scene of yesterday
Ralph Nickleby who was proof against all appeals of blood and kindred who
was steeled against every tale of sorrow and distress staggered while he
looked and went back into his house as a man who had seen a spirit from some
world beyond the grave
Chapter XX
Wherein Nicholas at Length Encounters His Uncle to Whom He Expresses His
Sentiments with Much Candour His Resolution
Little Miss La Creevy trotted briskly through divers streets at the west end of
the town early on Monday morning the day after the dinner charged with the
important commission of acquainting Madame Mantalini that Miss Nickleby was too
unwell to attend that day but hoped to be enabled to resume her duties on the
morrow And as Miss La Creevy walked along revolving in her mind various
genteel forms and elegant turns of expression with a view to the selection of
the very best in which to couch her communication she cogitated a good deal
upon the probable causes of her young friends indisposition
»I dont know what to make of it« said Miss La Creevy »Her eyes were
decidedly red last night She said she had a headache headaches dont
occasion red eyes She must have been crying«
Arriving at this conclusion which indeed she had established to her
perfect satisfaction on the previous evening Miss La Creevy went on to consider
as she had done nearly all night what new cause of unhappiness her young
friend could possibly have had
»I cant think of anything« said the little portrait painter »Nothing at
all unless it was the behaviour of that old bear Cross to her I suppose
Unpleasant brute«
Relieved by this expression of opinion albeit it was vented upon empty air
Miss La Creevy trotted on to Madame Mantalinis and being informed that the
governing power was not yet out of bed requested an interview with the second
in command whereupon Miss Knag appeared
»So far as I am concerned« said Miss Knag when the message had been
delivered with many ornaments of speech »I could spare Miss Nickleby for
evermore«
»Oh indeed maam« rejoined Miss La Creevy highly offended »But you
see you are not mistress of the business and therefore its of no great
consequence«
»Very good maam« said Miss Knag »Have you any further commands for me«
»No I have not maam« rejoined Miss La Creevy
»Then good morning maam« said Miss Knag
»Good morning to you maam and many obligations for your extreme
politeness and good breeding« rejoined Miss La Creevy
Thus terminating the interview during which both ladies had trembled very
much and been marvellously polite certain indications that they were within
an inch of a very desperate quarrel Miss La Creevy bounced out of the room
and into the street
»I wonder who that is« said the queer little soul »A nice person to know
I should think I wish I had the painting of her Id do her justice« So
feeling quite satisfied that she had said a very cutting thing at Miss Knags
expense Miss La Creevy had a hearty laugh and went home to breakfast in great
good humour
Here was one of the advantages of having lived alone so long The little
bustling active cheerful creature existed entirely within herself talked to
herself made a confidant of herself was as sarcastic as she could be on
people who offended her by herself pleased herself and did no harm If she
indulged in scandal nobodys reputation suffered and if she enjoyed a little
bit of revenge no living soul was one atom the worse One of the many to whom
from straitened circumstances a consequent inability to form the associations
they would wish and a disinclination to mix with the society they could obtain
London is as complete a solitude as the plains of Syria the humble artist had
pursued her lonely but contented way for many years and until the peculiar
misfortunes of the Nickleby family attracted her attention had made no friends
though brimfull of the friendliest feelings to all mankind There are many warm
hearts in the same solitary guise as poor little Miss La Creevys
However thats neither here nor there just now She went home to
breakfast and had scarcely caught the full flavour of her first sip of tea
when the servant announced a gentleman whereat Miss La Creevy at once
imagining a new sitter transfixed by admiration at the streetdoor case was in
unspeakable consternation at the presence of the teathings
»Here take em away run with em into the bedroom anywhere« said Miss La
Creevy »Dear dear to think that I should be late on this particular morning
of all others after being ready for three weeks by halfpast eight oclock and
not a soul coming near the place«
»Dont let me put you out of the way« said a voice Miss La Creevy knew »I
told the servant not to mention my name because I wished to surprise you«
»Mr Nicholas« cried Miss La Creevy starting in great astonishment
»You have not forgotten me I see« replied Nicholas extending his hand
»Why I think I should even have known you if I had met you in the street«
said Miss La Creevy with a smile »Hannah another cup and saucer Now Ill
tell you what young man Ill trouble you not to repeat the impertinence you
were guilty of on the morning you went away«
»You would not be very angry would you« asked Nicholas
»Wouldnt I« said Miss La Creevy »You had better try thats all«
Nicholas with becoming gallantry immediately took Miss La Creevy at her
word who uttered a faint scream and slapped his face but it was not a very
hard slap and thats the truth
»I never saw such a rude creature« exclaimed Miss La Creevy
»You told me to try« said Nicholas
»Well but I was speaking ironically« rejoined Miss La Creevy
»Oh thats another thing« said Nicholas »you should have told me that
too«
»I dare say you didnt know indeed« retorted Miss La Creevy »But now I
look at you again you seem thinner than when I saw you last and your face is
haggard and pale And how come you to have left Yorkshire«
She stopped here for there was so much heart in her altered tone and
manner that Nicholas was quite moved
»I need look somewhat changed« he said after a short silence »for I have
undergone some suffering both of mind and body since I left London I have
been very poor too and have even suffered from want«
»Good Heaven Mr Nicholas« exclaimed Miss La Creevy »what are you telling
me«
»Nothing which need distress you quite so much« answered Nicholas with a
more sprightly air »neither did I come here to bewail my lot but on matter
more to the purpose I wish to meet my uncle face to face I should tell you
that first«
»Then all I have to say about that is« interposed Miss La Creevy »that I
dont envy you your taste and that sitting in the same room with his very
boots would put me out of humour for a fortnight«
»In the main« said Nicholas »there may be no great difference of opinion
between you and me so far but you will understand that I desire to confront
him to justify myself and to cast his duplicity and malice in his throat«
»Thats quite another matter« rejoined Miss La Creevy »Heaven forgive me
but I shouldnt cry my eyes quite out of my head if they choked him Well«
»To this end I called upon him this morning« said Nicholas »He only
returned to town on Saturday and I knew nothing of his arrival until late last
night«
»And did you see him« asked Miss La Creevy
»No« replied Nicholas »He had gone out«
»Hah« said Miss La Creevy »on some kind charitable business I dare say«
»I have reason to believe« pursued Nicholas »from what has been told me
by a friend of mine who is acquainted with his movements that he intends seeing
my mother and sister today and giving them his version of the occurrences that
have befallen me I will meet him there«
»Thats right« said Miss La Creevy rubbing her hands »And yet I dont
know« she added »there is much to be thought of others to be considered«
»I have considered others« rejoined Nicholas »but as honesty and honor are
both at issue nothing shall deter me«
»You should know best« said Miss La Creevy
»In this case I hope so« answered Nicholas »And all I want you to do for
me is to prepare them for my coming They think me a long way off and if I
went wholly unexpected I should frighten them If you can spare time to tell
them that you have seen me and that I shall be with them in a quarter of an
hour afterwards you will do me a great service«
»I wish I could do you or any of you a greater« said Miss La Creevy »but
the power to serve is as seldom joined with the will as the will is with the
power I think«
Talking on very fast and very much Miss La Creevy finished her breakfast
with great expedition put away the teacaddy and hid the key under the fender
resumed her bonnet and taking Nicholass arm sallied forth at once to the
city Nicholas left her near the door of his mothers house and promised to
return within a quarter of an hour
It so chanced that Ralph Nickleby at length seeing fit for his own
purposes to communicate the atrocities of which Nicholas had been guilty had
instead of first proceeding to another quarter of the town on business as
Newman Noggs supposed he would gone straight to his sisterinlaw Hence when
Miss La Creevy admitted by a girl who was cleaning the house made her way to
the sittingroom she found Mrs Nickleby and Kate in tears and Ralph just
concluding his statement of his nephews misdemeanors Kate beckoned her not to
retire and Miss La Creevy took a seat in silence
»You are here already are you my gentleman« thought the little woman
»Then he shall announce himself and see what effect that has on you«
»This is pretty« said Ralph folding up Miss Squeerss note »very pretty
I recommended him against all my previous conviction for I knew he would
never do any good to a man with whom behaving himself properly he might have
remained in comfort for years What is the result Conduct for which he might
hold up his hand at the Old Bailey«
»I never will believe it« said Kate indignantly »never It is some base
conspiracy which carries its own falsehood with it«
»My dear« said Ralph »you wrong the worthy man These are not inventions
The man is assaulted your brother is not to be found this boy of whom they
speak goes with him remember remember«
»It is impossible« said Kate »Nicholas and a thief too Mama how can
you sit and hear such statements«
Poor Mrs Nickleby who had at no time been remarkable for the possession
of a very clear understanding and who had been reduced by the late changes in
her affairs to a most complicated state of perplexity made no other reply to
this earnest remonstrance than exclaiming from behind a mass of
pockethandkerchief that she never could have believed it thereby most
ingeniously leaving her hearers to suppose that she did believe it
»It would be my duty if he came in my way to deliver him up to justice«
said Ralph »my bounden duty I should have no other course as a man of the
world and a man of business to pursue And yet« said Ralph speaking in a very
marked manner and looking furtively but fixedly at Kate »and yet I would
not I would spare the feelings of his of his sister And his mother of
course« added Ralph as though by an afterthought and with far less emphasis
Kate very well understood that this was held out as an additional inducement
to her to preserve the strictest silence regarding the events of the preceding
night She looked involuntarily towards Ralph as he ceased to speak but he had
turned his eyes another way and seemed for the moment quite unconscious of her
presence
»Everything« said Ralph after a long silence broken only by Mrs
Nicklebys sobs »everything combines to prove the truth of this letter if
indeed there were any possibility of disputing it Do innocent men steal away
from the sight of honest folks and skulk in hidingplaces like outlaws Do
innocent men inveigle nameless vagabonds and prowl with them about the country
as idle robbers do Assault riot theft what do you call these«
»A lie« cried a voice as the door was dashed open and Nicholas came into
the room
In the first moment of surprise and possibly of alarm Ralph rose from his
seat and fell back a few paces quite taken off his guard by this unexpected
apparition In another moment he stood fixed and immovable with folded arms
regarding his nephew with a scowl while Kate and Miss La Creevy threw
themselves between the two to prevent the personal violence which the fierce
excitement of Nicholas appeared to threaten
»Dear Nicholas« cried his sister clinging to him »Be calm consider «
»Consider Kate« cried Nicholas clasping her hand so tight in the tumult
of his anger that she could scarcely bear the pain »When I consider all and
think of what has passed I need be made of iron to stand before him«
»Or bronze« said Ralph quietly »there is not hardihood enough in flesh
and blood to face it out«
»Oh dear dear« cried Mrs Nickleby »that things should have come to such
a pass as this«
»Who speaks in a tone as if I had done wrong and brought disgrace on them«
said Nicholas looking round
»Your mother sir« replied Ralph motioning towards her
»Whose ears have been poisoned by you« said Nicholas »by you who under
pretence of deserving the thanks she poured upon you heaped every insult
wrong and indignity upon my head You who sent me to a den where sordid
cruelty worthy of yourself runs wanton and youthful misery stalks precocious
where the lightness of childhood shrinks into the heaviness of age and its
every promise blights and withers as it grows I call Heaven to witness« said
Nicholas looking eagerly round »that I have seen all this and that he knows
it«
»Refute these calumnies« said Kate »and be more patient so that you may
give them no advantage Tell us what you really did and show that they are
untrue«
»Of what do they or of what does he accuse me« said Nicholas
»First of attacking your master and being within an ace of qualifying
yourself to be tried for murder« interposed Ralph »I speak plainly young man
bluster as you will«
»I interfered« said Nicholas »to save a miserable creature from the vilest
cruelty In so doing I inflicted such punishment upon a wretch as he will not
readily forget though far less than he deserved from me If the same scene were
renewed before me now I would take the same part but I would strike harder and
heavier and brand him with such marks as he should carry to his grave go to it
when he would«
»You hear« said Ralph turning to Mrs Nickleby »Penitence this«
»Oh dear me« cried Mrs Nickleby »I dont know what to think I really
dont«
»Do not speak just now mama I entreat you« said Kate »Dear Nicholas I
only tell you that you may know what wickedness can prompt but they accuse you
of a ring is missing and they dare to say that «
»The woman« said Nicholas haughtily »the wife of the fellow from whom
these charges come dropped as I suppose a worthless ring among some clothes
of mine early in the morning on which I left the house At least I know that
she was in the bedroom where they lay struggling with an unhappy child and
that I found it when I opened my bundle on the road I returned it at once by
coach and they have it now«
»I knew I knew« said Kate looking towards her uncle »About this boy
love in whose company they say you left«
»The boy a silly helpless creature from brutality and hard usage is with
me now« rejoined Nicholas
»You hear« said Ralph appealing to the mother again »everything proved
even upon his own confession Do you choose to restore that boy sir«
»No I do not« replied Nicholas
»You do not« sneered Ralph
»No« repeated Nicholas »not to the man with whom I found him I would that
I knew on whom he has the claim of birth I might wring something from his sense
of shame if he were dead to every tie of nature.«
»Indeed« said Ralph »Now sir will you hear a word or two from me«
»You can speak when and what you please« replied Nicholas embracing his
sister »I take little heed of what you say or threaten«
»Mighty well sir« retorted Ralph »but perhaps it may concern others who
may think it worth their while to listen and consider what I tell them I will
address your mother sir who knows the world«
»Ah and I only too dearly wish I didnt« sobbed Mrs Nickleby
There really was no necessity for the good lady to be much distressed upon
this particular head the extent of her worldly knowledge being to say the
least very questionable and so Ralph seemed to think for he smiled as she
spoke He then glanced steadily at her and Nicholas by turns as he delivered
himself in these words
»Of what I have done or what I meant to do for you maam and my niece I
say not one syllable I held out no promise and leave you to judge for
yourself I hold out no threat now but I say that this boy headstrong wilful
and disorderly as he is should not have one penny of my money or one crust of
my bread or one grasp of my hand to save him from the loftiest gallows in all
Europe I will not meet him come where he comes or hear his name I will not
help him or those who help him With a full knowledge of what he brought upon
you by so doing he has come back in his selfish sloth to be an aggravation of
your wants and a burden upon his sisters scanty wages I regret to leave you
and more to leave her now but I will not encourage this compound of meanness
and cruelty and as I will not ask you to renounce him I see you no more«
If Ralph had not known and felt his power in wounding those he hated his
glances at Nicholas would have shown it him in all its force as he proceeded
in the above address Innocent as the young man was of all wrong every artful
insinuation stung every wellconsidered sarcasm cut him to the quick and when
Ralph noted his pale face and quivering lip he hugged himself to mark how well
he had chosen the taunts best calculated to strike deep into a young and ardent
spirit
»I cant help it« cried Mrs Nickleby »I know you have been very good to
us and meant to do a good deal for my daughter I am quite sure of that I know
you did and it was very kind of you having her at your house and all and of
course it would have been a great thing for her and for me too But I cant you
know brotherinlaw I cant renounce my own son even if he has done all you
say he has its not possible I couldnt do it so we must go to rack and
ruin Kate my dear I can bear it I dare say« Pouring forth these and a
perfectly wonderful train of other disjointed expressions of regret which no
mortal power but Mrs Nicklebys could ever have strung together that lady
wrung her hands and her tears fell faster
»Why do you say if Nicholas has done what they say he has mama« asked
Kate with honest anger »You know he has not«
»I dont know what to think one way or other my dear« said Mrs Nickleby
»Nicholas is so violent and your uncle has so much composure that I can only
hear what he says and not what Nicholas does Never mind dont let us talk any
more about it We can go to the Workhouse or the Refuge for the Destitute or
the Magdalen Hospital I dare say and the sooner we go the better« With this
extraordinary jumble of charitable institutions Mrs Nickleby again gave way to
her tears
»Stay« said Nicholas as Ralph turned to go »You need not leave this
place sir for it will be relieved of my presence in one minute and it will
be long very long before I darken these doors again«
»Nicholas« cried Kate throwing herself on her brothers shoulder »do not
say so My dear brother you will break my heart Mama speak to him Do not
mind her Nicholas she does not mean it you should know her better Uncle
somebody for Heavens sake speak to him«
»I never meant Kate« said Nicholas tenderly »I never meant to stay among
you think better of me than to suppose it possible I may turn my back on this
town a few hours sooner than I intended but what of that We shall not forget
each other apart and better days will come when we shall part no more Be a
woman Kate« he whispered proudly »and do not make me one while he looks
on«
»No no I will not« said Kate eagerly »but you will not leave us Oh
think of all the happy days we have had together before these terrible
misfortunes came upon us of all the comfort and happiness of home and the
trials we have to bear now of our having no protector under all the slights and
wrongs that poverty so much favours and you cannot leave us to bear them alone
without one hand to help us«
»You will be helped when I am away« replied Nicholas hurriedly »I am no
help to you no protector I should bring you nothing but sorrow and want and
suffering My own mother sees it and her fondness and fears for you point to
the course that I should take And so all good angels bless you Kate till I
can carry you to some home of mine where we may revive the happiness denied to
us now and talk of these trials as of things gone by Do not keep me here but
let me go at once There Dear girl dear girl«
The grasp which had detained him relaxed and Kate swooned in his arms
Nicholas stooped over her for a few seconds and placing her gently in a chair
confided her to their honest friend
»I need not entreat your sympathy« he said wringing her hand »for I know
your nature You will never forget them«
He stepped up to Ralph who remained in the same attitude which he had
preserved throughout the interview and moved not a finger
»Whatever step you take sir« he said in a voice inaudible beyond
themselves »I shall keep a strict account of I leave them to you at your
desire There will be a day of reckoning sooner or later and it will be a heavy
one for you if they are wronged«
Ralph did not allow a muscle of his face to indicate that he heard one word
of this parting address He hardly knew that it was concluded and Mrs Nickleby
had scarcely made up her mind to detain her son by force if necessary when
Nicholas was gone
As he hurried through the streets to his obscure lodging seeking to keep
pace as it were with the rapidity of the thoughts which crowded upon him many
doubts and hesitations arose in his mind and almost tempted him to return But
what would they gain by this Supposing he were to put Ralph Nickleby at
defiance and were even fortunate enough to obtain some small employment his
being with them could only render their present condition worse and might
greatly impair their future prospects for his mother had spoken of some new
kindnesses towards Kate which she had not denied »No« thought Nicholas »I
have acted for the best«
But before he had gone five hundred yards some other and different feeling
would come upon him and then he would lag again and pulling his hat over his
eyes give way to the melancholy reflections which pressed thickly upon him To
have committed no fault and yet to be so entirely alone in the world to be
separated from the only persons he loved and to be proscribed like a criminal
when six months ago he had been surrounded by every comfort and looked up to
as the chief hope of his family this was hard to bear He had not deserved it
either Well there was comfort in that and poor Nicholas would brighten up
again to be again depressed as his quickly shifting thoughts presented every
variety of light and shade before him
Undergoing these alternations of hope and misgiving which no one placed in
a situation of ordinary trial can fail to have experienced Nicholas at length
reached his poor room where no longer borne up by the excitement which had
hitherto sustained him but depressed by the revulsion of feeling it left
behind he threw himself on the bed and turning his face to the wall gave free
vent to the emotions he had so long stifled
He had not heard anybody enter and was unconscious of the presence of
Smike until happening to raise his head he saw him standing at the upper end
of the room looking wistfully towards him He withdrew his eyes when he saw
that he was observed and affected to be busied with some scanty preparations
for dinner
»Well Smike« said Nicholas as cheerfully as he could speak »let me hear
what new acquaintances you have made this morning or what new wonder you have
found out in the compass of this street and the next one«
»No« said Smike shaking his head mournfully »I must talk of something
else today«
»Of what you like« replied Nicholas goodhumouredly
»Of this« said Smike »I know you are unhappy and have got into great
trouble by bringing me away I ought to have known that and stopped behind I
would indeed if I had thought it then You you are not rich you have not
enough for yourself and I should not be here You grow« said the lad laying
his hand timidly on that of Nicholas »you grow thinner every day your cheek is
paler and your eye more sunk Indeed I cannot bear to see you so and think how
I am burdening you I tried to go away today but the thought of your kind face
drew me back I could not leave you without a word« The poor fellow could say
no more for his eyes filled with tears and his voice was gone
»The word which separates us« said Nicholas grasping him heartily by the
shoulder »shall never be said by me for you are my only comfort and stay I
would not lose you now Smike for all the world could give The thought of you
has upheld me through all I have endured today and shall through fifty times
such trouble Give me your hand My heart is linked to yours We will journey
from this place together before the week is out What if I am steeped in
poverty You lighten it and we will be poor together«
Chapter XXI
Madame Mantalini Finds Herself in a Situation of Some Difficulty and Miss
Nickleby Finds Herself in No Situation at All
The agitation she had undergone rendered Kate Nickleby unable to resume her
duties at the dressmakers for three days at the expiration of which interval
she betook herself at the accustomed hour and with languid steps to the temple
of fashion where Madame Mantalini reigned paramount and supreme
The ill will of Miss Knag had lost nothing of its virulence in the
interval The young ladies still scrupulously shrunk from all companionship with
their denounced associate and when that exemplary female arrived a few minutes
afterwards she was at no pains to conceal the displeasure with which she
regarded Kates return
»Upon my word« said Miss Knag as the satellites flocked round to relieve
her of her bonnet and shawl »I should have thought some people would have had
spirit enough to stop away altogether when they know what an incumbrance their
presence is to rightminded persons But its a queer world oh its a queer
world«
Miss Knag having passed this comment on the world in the tone in which
most people do pass comments on the world when they are out of temper that is
to say as if they by no means belonged to it concluded by heaving a sigh
wherewith she seemed meekly to compassionate the wickedness of mankind
The attendants were not slow to echo the sigh and Miss Knag was apparently
on the eve of favouring them with some further moral reflections when the voice
of Madame Mantalini conveyed through the speakingtube ordered Miss Nickleby
up stairs to assist in the arrangement of the showroom a distinction which
caused Miss Knag to toss her head so much and bite her lips so hard that her
powers of conversation were for the time annihilated
»Well Miss Nickleby child« said Madame Mantalini when Kate presented
herself »are you quite well again«
»A great deal better thank you« replied Kate
»I wish I could say the same« remarked Madame Mantalini seating herself
with an air of weariness
»Are you ill« asked Kate »I am very sorry for that«
»Not exactly ill but worried child worried« rejoined Madame
»I am still more sorry to hear that« said Kate gently »Bodily illness is
more easy to bear than mental«
»Ah and its much easier to talk than to bear either« said Madame rubbing
her nose with much irritability of manner »There get to your work child and
put the things in order do«
While Kate was wondering within herself what these symptoms of unusual
vexation portended Mr Mantalini put the tips of his whiskers and by degrees
his head through the halfopened door and cried in a soft voice
»Is my life and soul there«
»No« replied his wife
»How can it say so when it is blooming in the front room like a little rose
in a demnition flowerpot« urged Mantalini »May its poppet come in and talk«
»Certainly not« replied Madame »you know I never allow you here Go
along«
The poppet however encouraged perhaps by the relenting tone of this reply
ventured to rebel and stealing into the room made towards Madame Mantalini on
tiptoe blowing her a kiss as he came along
»Why will it vex itself, and twist its little face into bewitching
nutcrackers« said Mantalini putting his left arm round the waist of his life
and soul and drawing her towards him with his right
»Oh I cant bear you« replied his wife
»Not eh not bear me« exclaimed Mantalini »Fibs fibs It couldnt be
Theres not a woman alive that could tell me such a thing to my face to my
own face« Mr Mantalini stroked his chin as he said this and glanced
complacently at an opposite mirror
»Such destructive extravagance« reasoned his wife in a low tone
»All in its joy at having gained such a lovely creature such a little
Venus such a demd enchanting bewitching engrossing captivating little
Venus« said Mantalini
»See what a situation you have placed me in« urged Madame
»No harm will come no harm shall come to its own darling« rejoined Mr
Mantalini »It is all over there will be nothing the matter money shall be got
in and if it dont come in fast enough old Nickleby shall stump up again or
have his jugular separated if he dares to vex and hurt the little «
»Hush« interposed Madame »Dont you see«
Mr Mantalini who in his eagerness to make up matters with his wife had
overlooked or feigned to overlook Miss Nickleby hitherto took the hint and
laying his finger on his lip sunk his voice still lower There was then a
great deal of whispering during which Madame Mantalini appeared to make
reference more than once to certain debts incurred by Mr Mantalini previous
to her coverture and also to an unexpected outlay of money in payment of the
aforesaid debts and furthermore to certain agreeable weaknesses on that
gentlemans part such as gaming wasting idling and a tendency to
horseflesh each of which matters of accusation Mr Mantalini disposed of by
one kiss or more as its relative importance demanded The upshot of it all
was that Madame Mantalini was in raptures with him and that they went up
stairs to breakfast
Kate busied herself in what she had to do and was silently arranging the
various articles of decoration in the best taste she could display when she
started to hear a strange mans voice in the room and started again to
observe on looking round that a white hat and a red neckerchief and a broad
round face and a large head and part of a green coat were in the room too
»Dont alarm yourself Miss« said the proprietor of these appearances »I
say this heres the mantiemaking consarn ant it«
»Yes« rejoined Kate greatly astonished »What did you want«
The stranger answered not but first looking back as though to beckon to
some unseen person outside came very deliberately into the room and was
closely followed by a little man in brown very much the worse for wear who
brought with him a mingled fumigation of stale tobacco and fresh onions The
clothes of this gentleman were much bespeckled with flue and his shoes
stockings and nether garments from his heels to the waist buttons of his coat
inclusive were profusely embroidered with splashes of mud caught a fortnight
previously before the settingin of the fine weather
Kates very natural impression was that these engaging individuals had
called with the view of possessing themselves unlawfully of any portable
articles that chanced to strike their fancy She did not attempt to disguise her
apprehensions and made a move towards the door
»Wait a minnit« said the man in the green coat closing it softly and
standing with his back against it »This is a unpleasant bisness Veres your
govvernor«
»My what did you say« asked Kate trembling for she thought governor
might be slang for watch or money
»Mr Muntlehiney« said the man »Wots come on him Is he at home«
»He is above stairs I believe« replied Kate a little reassured by this
inquiry »Do you want him«
»No« replied the visitor »I dont ezactly want him if its made a favour
on You can jist give him that ere card and tell him if he wants to speak to
me and save trouble here I am thats all«
With these words the stranger put a thick square card into Kates hand
and turning to his friend remarked with an easy air »that the rooms was a
good high pitch« to which the friend assented adding by way of illustration
»that there was lots of room for a little boy to grow up a man in either on em
vithout much fear of his ever bringing his head into contract vith the ceiling«
After ringing the bell which would summon Madame Mantalini Kate glanced at
the card and saw that it displayed the name of Scaley together with some other
information to which she had not had time to refer when her attention was
attracted by Mr Scaley himself who walking up to one of the cheval glasses
gave it a hard poke in the centre with his stick as coolly as if it had been
made of cast iron
»Good plate this here Tix« said Mr Scaley to his friend
»Ah« rejoined Mr Tix placing the marks of his four fingers and a
duplicate impression of his thumb on a piece of skyblue silk »and this here
article warnt made for nothing mind you«
From the silk Mr Tix transferred his admiration to some elegant articles
of wearing apparel while Mr Scaley adjusted his neckcloth at leisure before
the glass and afterwards aided by its reflection proceeded to the minute
consideration of a pimple on his chin in which absorbing occupation he was yet
engaged when Madame Mantalini entering the room uttered an exclamation of
surprise which roused him
»Oh Is this the missis« inquired Scaley
»It is Madame Mantalini« said Kate
»Then« said Mr Scaley producing a small document from his pocket and
unfolding it very slowly »this is a writ of execution and if its not
conwenient to settle well go over the house at wunst please and take the
inwentory«
Poor Madame Mantalini wrung her hands for grief and rung the bell for her
husband which done she fell into a chair and a fainting fit simultaneously
The professional gentlemen however were not at all discomposed by this event
for Mr Scaley leaning upon a stand on which a handsome dress was displayed so
that his shoulders appeared above it in nearly the same manner as the shoulders
of the lady for whom it was designed would have done if she had had it on
pushed his hat on one side and scratched his head with perfect unconcern while
his friend Mr Tix taking that opportunity for a general survey of the
apartment preparatory to entering on business stood with his inventorybook
under his arm and his hat in his hand mentally occupied in putting a price
upon every object within his range of vision
Such was the posture of affairs when Mr Mantalini hurried in and as that
distinguished specimen had had a pretty extensive intercourse with Mr Scaleys
fraternity in his bachelor days and was besides very far from being taken by
surprise on the present agitating occasion he merely shrugged his shoulders
thrust his hands down to the bottom of his pockets elevated his eyebrows
whistled a bar or two swore an oath or two and sitting astride upon a chair
put the best face upon the matter with great composure and decency
»Whats the demd total« was the first question he asked
»Fifteen hundred and twentyseven pound four and ninepence hapenny«
replied Mr Scaley without moving a limb
»The halfpenny be demd« said Mr Mantalini impatiently
»By all means if you vish it« retorted Mr Scaley »and the ninepence«
»It dont matter to us if the fifteen hundred and twentyseven pound went
along with it that I know on« observed Mr Tix
»Not a button« said Scaley
»Well« said the same gentleman after a pause »Wots to be done
anything Is it only a small crack or a outandout smash A breakup of the
constitootion is it werry good Then Mr Tom Tix eskvire you must inform
your angel wife and lovely family as you wont sleep at home for three nights to
come along of being in possession here Wots the good of the lady a fretting
herself« continued Mr Scaley as Madame Mantalini sobbed »A good half of
wots here isnt paid for I dessay and wot a consolation oughtnt that to be
to her feelings«
With these remarks combining great pleasantry with sound moral
encouragement under difficulties Mr Scaley proceeded to take the inventory in
which delicate task he was materially assisted by the uncommon tact and
experience of Mr Tix the broker
»My cup of happinesss sweetener« said Mantalini approaching his wife with
a penitent air »will you listen to me for two minutes«
»Oh dont speak to me« replied his wife sobbing »You have ruined me and
thats enough«
Mr Mantalini who had doubtless well considered his part no sooner heard
these words pronounced in a tone of grief and severity than he recoiled several
paces assumed an expression of consuming mental agony rushed headlong from the
room and was soon afterwards heard to slam the door of an upstairs
dressingroom with great violence
»Miss Nickleby« cried Madame Mantalini when this sound met her ear »make
haste for Heavens sake he will destroy himself I spoke unkindly to him and
he cannot bear it from me Alfred my darling Alfred«
With such exclamations she hurried up stairs followed by Kate who
although she did not quite participate in the fond wifes apprehensions was a
little flurried nevertheless The dressingroom door being hastily flung open
Mr Mantalini was disclosed to view with his shirtcollar symmetrically thrown
back putting a fine edge to a breakfast knife by means of his razor strop
»Ah« cried Mr Mantalini »Interrupted« and whisk went the breakfast knife
into Mr Mantalinis dressinggown pocket while Mr Mantalinis eyes rolled
wildly and his hair floating in wild disorder mingled with his whiskers
»Alfred« cried his wife flinging her arms about him »I didnt mean to say
it I didnt mean to say it«
»Ruined« cried Mr Mantalini »Have I brought ruin upon the best and purest
creature that ever blessed a demnition vagabond Demmit let me go« At this
crisis of his ravings Mr Mantalini made a pluck at the breakfast knife and
being restrained by his wifes grasp attempted to dash his head against the
wall taking very good care to be at least six feet from it
»Compose yourself my own angel« said Madame »It was nobodys fault it
was mine as much as yours we shall do very well yet Come Alfred come«
Mr Mantalini did not think proper to come to all at once but after
calling several times for poison and requesting some lady or gentleman to blow
his brains out gentler feelings came upon him and he wept pathetically In
this softened frame of mind he did not oppose the capture of the knife which
to tell the truth he was rather glad to be rid of as an inconvenient and
dangerous article for a skirt pocket and finally he suffered himself to be led
away by his affectionate partner
After a delay of two or three hours the young ladies were informed that
their services would be dispensed with until further notice and at the
expiration of two days the name of Mantalini appeared in the list of bankrupts
Miss Nickleby received an intimation per post on the same morning that the
business would be in future carried on under the name of Miss Knag and that
her assistance would no longer be required a piece of intelligence with which
Mrs Nickleby was no sooner made acquainted than that good lady declared she
had expected it all along and cited divers unknown occasions on which she had
prophesied to that precise effect
»And I say again« remarked Mrs Nickleby who it is scarcely necessary to
observe had never said so before »I say again that a milliners and
dressmakers is the very last description of business Kate that you should
have thought of attaching yourself to I dont make it a reproach to you my
love but still I will say that if you had consulted your own mother «
»Well well mama« said Kate mildly »what would you recommend now«
»Recommend« cried Mrs Nickleby »isnt it obvious my dear that of all
occupations in this world for a young lady situated as you are that of
companion to some amiable lady is the very thing for which your education and
manners and personal appearance and everything else exactly qualify you Did
you never hear your poor dear papa speak of the young lady who was the daughter
of the old lady who boarded in the same house that he boarded in once when he
was a bachelor what was her name again I know it began with a B, and ended
with a g but whether it was Waters or no it couldnt have been that either
but whatever her name was dont you know that that young lady went as companion
to a married lady who died soon afterwards and that she married the husband
and had one of the finest little boys that the medical man had ever seen all
within eighteen months«
Kate knew perfectly well that this torrent of favourable recollection was
occasioned by some opening real or imaginary which her mother had discovered
in the companionship walk of life She therefore waited very patiently until
all reminiscences and anecdotes bearing or not bearing upon the subject had
been exhausted and at last ventured to inquire what discovery had been made
The truth then came out Mrs Nickleby had that morning had a yesterday
newspaper of the very first respectability from the publichouse where the
porter came from and in this yesterdays newspaper was an advertisement
couched in the purest and most grammatical English announcing that a married
lady was in want of a genteel young person as companion and that the married
ladys name and address were to be known on application at a certain library at
the west end of the town therein mentioned
»And I say« exclaimed Mrs Nickleby laying the paper down in triumph
»that if your uncle dont object its well worth the trial«
Kate was too sick at heart after the rough jostling she had already had
with the world and really cared too little at the moment what fate was reserved
for her to make any objection Mr Ralph Nickleby offered none but on the
contrary highly approved of the suggestion neither did he express any great
surprise at Madame Mantalinis sudden failure indeed it would have been strange
if he had inasmuch as it had been procured and brought about chiefly by
himself So the name and address were obtained without loss of time and Miss
Nickleby and her mama went off in quest of Mrs Wititterly of Cadogan Place
Sloane Street that same forenoon
Cadogan Place is the one slight bond that joins two great extremes it is
the connecting link between the aristocratic pavements of Belgrave Square and
the barbarism of Chelsea It is in Sloane Street but not of it The people in
Cadogan Place look down upon Sloane Street and think Brompton low They affect
fashion too and wonder where the New Road is Not that they claim to be on
precisely the same footing as the high folks of Belgrave Square and Grosvenor
Place but that they stand with reference to them rather in the light of those
illegitimate children of the great who are content to boast of their connexions
although their connexions disavow them Wearing as much as they can of the airs
and semblances of loftiest rank the people of Cadogan Place have the realities
of middle station It is the conductor which communicates to the inhabitants of
regions beyond its limit the shock of pride of birth and rank which it has not
within itself, but derives from a fountainhead beyond or like the ligament
which unites the Siamese twins it contains something of the life and essence of
two distinct bodies and yet belongs to neither
Upon this doubtful ground lived Mrs Wititterly and at Mrs Wititterlys
door Kate Nickleby knocked with trembling hand The door was opened by a big
footman with his head floured or chalked or painted in some way it didnt
look genuine powder and the big footman receiving the card of introduction
gave it to a little page so little indeed that his body would not hold in
ordinary array the number of small buttons which are indispensable to a pages
costume and they were consequently obliged to be stuck on four abreast This
young gentleman took the card up stairs on a salver and pending his return
Kate and her mother were shown into a diningroom of rather dirty and shabby
aspect and so comfortably arranged as to be adapted to almost any purpose
rather than eating and drinking
Now in the ordinary course of things and according to all authentic
descriptions of high life as set forth in books Mrs Wititterly ought to have
been in her boudoir but whether it was that Mr Wititterly was at that moment
shaving himself in the boudoir or what not certain it is that Mrs Wititterly
gave audience in the drawingroom where was everything proper and necessary
including curtains and furniture coverings of a roseate hue to shed a delicate
bloom on Mrs Wititterlys complexion and a little dog to snap at strangers
legs for Mrs Wititterlys amusement and the aforementioned page to hand
chocolate for Mrs Wititterlys refreshment
The lady had an air of sweet insipidity and a face of engaging paleness
there was a faded look about her and about the furniture and about the house
She was reclining on a sofa in such a very unstudied attitude that she might
have been taken for an actress all ready for the first scene in a ballet and
only waiting for the drop curtain to go up
»Place chairs«
The page placed them
»Leave the room Alphonse«
The page left it but if ever an Alphonse carried plain Bill in his face and
figure that page was the boy
»I have ventured to call maam« said Kate after a few seconds of awkward
silence »from having seen your advertisement«
»Yes« replied Mrs Wititterly »one of my people put it in the paper
Yes«
»I thought perhaps« said Kate modestly »that if you had not already made
a final choice you would forgive my troubling you with an application«
»Yes« drawled Mrs Wititterly again
»If you have already made a selection «
»Oh dear no« interrupted the lady »I am not so easily suited I really
dont know what to say You have never been a companion before have you«
Mrs Nickleby who had been eagerly watching her opportunity came
dexterously in before Kate could reply »Not to any stranger maam« said the
good lady »but she has been a companion to me for some years I am her mother
maam«
»Oh« said Mrs Wititterly »I apprehend you«
»I assure you maam« said Mrs Nickleby »that I very little thought at
one time that it would be necessary for my daughter to go out into the world at
all for her poor dear papa was an independent gentleman and would have been at
this moment if he had but listened in time to my constant entreaties and «
»Dear mama« said Kate in a low voice
»My dear Kate if you will allow me to speak« said Mrs Nickleby »I shall
take the liberty of explaining to this lady «
»I think it is almost unnecessary mama«
And notwithstanding all the frowns and winks with which Mrs Nickleby
intimated that she was going to say something which would clench the business at
once Kate maintained her point by an expressive look and for once Mrs
Nickleby was stopped upon the very brink of an oration
»What are your accomplishments« asked Mrs Wititterly with her eyes shut
Kate blushed as she mentioned her principal acquirements and Mrs Nickleby
checked them all off one by one on her fingers having calculated the number
before she came out Luckily the two calculations agreed so Mrs Nickleby had
no excuse for talking
»You are a good temper« asked Mrs Wititterly opening her eyes for an
instant and shutting them again
»I hope so« rejoined Kate
»And have a highly respectable reference for everything have you«
Kate replied that she had and laid her uncles card upon the table
»Have the goodness to draw your chair a little nearer and let me look at
you« said Mrs Wititterly »I am so very nearsighted that I cant quite
discern your features«
Kate complied though not without some embarrassment with this request and
Mrs Wititterly took a languid survey of her countenance which lasted some two
or three minutes
»I like your appearance« said that lady ringing a little bell »Alphonse
request your master to come here«
The page disappeared on this errand and after a short interval during
which not a word was spoken on either side opened the door for an important
gentleman of about eightandthirty of rather plebeian countenance and with a
very light head of hair who leant over Mrs Wititterly for a little time and
conversed with her in whispers
»Oh« he said turning round »yes This is a most important matter Mrs
Wititterly is of a very excitable nature very delicate very fragile a
hothouse plant an exotic«
»Oh Henry my dear« interposed Mrs Wititterly
»You are my love you know you are one breath « said Mr W blowing an
imaginary feather away »Pho youre gone«
The lady sighed
»Your soul is too large for your body« said Mr Wititterly »Your intellect
wears you out all the medical men say so you know that there is not a
physician who is not proud of being called in to you What is their unanimous
declaration My dear doctor said I to Sir Tumley Snuffim in this very room
the very last time he came My dear doctor what is my wifes complaint Tell me
all I can bear it Is it nerves My dear fellow he said be proud of that
woman make much of her she is an ornament to the fashionable world and to
you Her complaint is soul It swells expands dilates the blood fires the
pulse quickens the excitement increases Whew« Here Mr Wititterly who in
the ardour of his description had flourished his right hand to within something
less than an inch of Mrs Nicklebys bonnet drew it hastily back again and
blew his nose as fiercely as if it had been done by some violent machinery
»You make me out worse than I am Henry« said Mrs Wititterly with a faint
smile
»I do not Julia I do not« said Mr W »The society in which you move
necessarily move from your station connexion and endowments is one vortex
and whirlpool of the most frightful excitement Bless my heart and body can I
ever forget the night you danced with the baronets nephew at the election ball
at Exeter It was tremendous«
»I always suffer for these triumphs afterwards« said Mrs Wititterly
»And for that very reason« rejoined her husband »you must have a
companion in whom there is great gentleness great sweetness excessive
sympathy and perfect repose«
Here both Mr and Mrs Wititterly who had talked rather at the Nicklebys
than to each other left off speaking and looked at their two hearers with an
expression of countenance which seemed to say »What do you think of all this«
»Mrs Wititterly« said her husband addressing himself to Mrs Nickleby
»is sought after and courted by glittering crowds and brilliant circles She is
excited by the opera the drama the fine arts the the the «
»The nobility my love« interposed Mrs Wititterly
»The nobility of course« said Mr Wititterly »And the military She forms
and expresses an immense variety of opinions on an immense variety of subjects
If some people in public life were acquainted with Mrs Wititterlys real
opinion of them they would not hold their heads perhaps quite as high as they
do«
»Hush Henry« said the lady »this is scarcely fair«
»I mention no names Julia« replied Mr Wititterly »and nobody is injured
I merely mention the circumstance to show that you are no ordinary person that
there is a constant friction perpetually going on between your mind and your
body and that you must be soothed and tended Now let me hear dispassionately
and calmly what are this young ladys qualifications for the office«
In obedience to this request the qualifications were all gone through
again with the addition of many interruptions and crossquestionings from Mr
Wititterly It was finally arranged that inquiries should be made and a
decisive answer addressed to Miss Nickleby under cover to her uncle within two
days These conditions agreed upon the page showed them down as far as the
staircase window and the big footman relieving guard at that point piloted
them in perfect safety to the streetdoor
»They are very distinguished people evidently« said Mrs Nickleby as she
took her daughters arm »What a superior person Mrs Wititterly is«
»Do you think so mama« was all Kates reply
»Why who can help thinking so Kate my love« rejoined her mother »She is
pale though and looks much exhausted I hope she may not be wearing herself
out but I am very much afraid«
These considerations led the deepsighted lady into a calculation of the
probable duration of Mrs Wititterlys life and the chances of the disconsolate
widower bestowing his hand on her daughter Before reaching home she had freed
Mrs Wititterlys soul from all bodily restraint married Kate with great
splendour at St Georges Hanover Square and only left undecided the minor
question whether a splendid Frenchpolished mahogany bedstead should be erected
for herself in the twopair back of the house in Cadogan Place or in the
threepair front between which apartments she could not quite balance the
advantages and therefore adjusted the question at last by determining to leave
it to the decision of her soninlaw
The inquiries were made The answer not to Kates very great joy was
favourable and at the expiration of a week she betook herself with all her
moveables and valuables to Mrs Wititterlys mansion where for the present we
will leave her
Chapter XXII
Nicholas Accompanied by Smike Sallies Forth to Seek His Fortune He Encounters
Mr Vincent Crummles and who He Was Is Herein Made Manifest
The whole capital which Nicholas found himself entitled to either in
possession reversion remainder or expectancy after paying his rent and
settling with the broker from whom he had hired his poor furniture did not
exceed by more than a few halfpence the sum of twenty shillings And yet he
hailed the morning on which he had resolved to quit London with a light heart
and sprang from his bed with an elasticity of spirit which is happily the lot of
young persons or the world would never be stocked with old ones
It was a cold dry foggy morning in early spring A few meagre shadows
flitted to and fro in the misty streets and occasionally there loomed through
the dull vapour the heavy outline of some hackneycoach wending homewards
which drawing slowly nearer rolled jangling by scattering the thin crust of
frost from its whitened roof and soon was lost again in the cloud At intervals
were heard the tread of slipshod feet and the chilly cry of the poor sweep as
he crept shivering to his early toil the heavy footfall of the official
watcher of the night pacing slowly up and down and cursing the tardy hours that
still intervened between him and sleep the rumbling of ponderous carts and
waggons the roll of the lighter vehicles which carried buyers and sellers to
the different markets the sound of ineffectual knocking at the doors of heavy
sleepers all these noises fell upon the ear from time to time but all seemed
muffled by the fog and to be rendered almost as indistinct to the ear as was
every object to the sight The sluggish darkness thickened as the day came on
and those who had the courage to rise and peep at the gloomy street from their
curtained windows crept back to bed again and coiled themselves up to sleep
Before even these indications of approaching morning were rife in busy
London Nicholas had made his way alone to the city and stood beneath the
windows of his mothers house It was dull and bare to see but it had light and
life for him for there was at least one heart within its old walls to which
insult or dishonour would bring the same blood rushing that flowed in his own
veins
He crossed the road and raised his eyes to the window of the room where he
knew his sister slept It was closed and dark »Poor girl« thought Nicholas
»she little thinks who lingers here«
He looked again and felt for the moment almost vexed that Kate was not
there to exchange one word at parting »Good God« he thought suddenly
correcting himself »what a boy I am«
»It is better as it is« said Nicholas after he had lounged on a few paces
and returned to the same spot »When I left them before and could have said
good bye a thousand times if I had chosen I spared them the pain of
leavetaking and why not now« As he spoke some fancied motion of the curtain
almost persuaded him for the instant that Kate was at the window and by one
of those strange contradictions of feeling which are common to us all he shrunk
involuntarily into a doorway that she might not see him He smiled at his own
weakness said »God bless them« and walked away with a lighter step
Smike was anxiously expecting him when he reached his old lodgings and so
was Newman who had expended a days income in a can of rum and milk to prepare
them for the journey They had tied up the luggage Smike shouldered it and
away they went with Newman Noggs in company for he had insisted on walking as
far as he could with them overnight
»Which way« asked Newman wistfully
»To Kingston first« replied Nicholas
»And where afterwards« asked Newman »Why wont you tell me«
»Because I scarcely know myself good friend« rejoined Nicholas laying his
hand upon his shoulder »and if I did I have neither plan nor prospect yet and
might shift my quarters a hundred times before you could possibly communicate
with me«
»I am afraid you have some deep scheme in your head« said Newman
doubtfully
»So deep« replied his young friend »that even I cant fathom it Whatever
I resolve upon depend upon it I will write you soon«
»You wont forget« said Newman
»I am not very likely to« rejoined Nicholas »I have not so many friends
that I shall grow confused among the number and forget my best one«
Occupied in such discourse they walked on for a couple of hours as they
might have done for a couple of days if Nicholas had not sat himself down on a
stone by the wayside and resolutely declared his intention of not moving
another step until Newman Noggs turned back Having pleaded ineffectually first
for another halfmile and afterwards for another quarter Newman was fain to
comply and to shape his course towards Golden Square after interchanging many
hearty and affectionate farewells and many times turning back to wave his hat
to the two wayfarers when they had become mere specks in the distance
»Now listen to me Smike« said Nicholas as they trudged with stout hearts
onwards »We are bound for Portsmouth«
Smike nodded his head and smiled but expressed no other emotion for
whether they had been bound for Portsmouth or Port Royal would have been alike
to him so they had been bound together
»I dont know much of these matters« resumed Nicholas »but Portsmouth is a
seaport town and if no other employment is to be obtained I should think we
might get on board some ship I am young and active and could be useful in many
ways So could you«
»I hope so« replied Smike »When I was at that you know where I mean«
»Yes I know« said Nicholas »You neednt name the place«
»Well when I was there« resumed Smike his eyes sparkling at the prospect
of displaying his abilities »I could milk a cow and groom a horse with
anybody«
»Ha« said Nicholas gravely »I am afraid they dont keep many animals of
either kind on board ship Smike and even when they have horses that they are
not very particular about rubbing them down still you can learn to do something
else you know Where theres a will theres a way«
»And I am very willing« said Smike brightening up again
»God knows you are« rejoined Nicholas »and if you fail it shall go hard
but Ill do enough for us both«
»Do we go all the way today« asked Smike after a short silence
»That would be too severe a trial even for your willing legs« said
Nicholas with a goodhumoured smile »No Godalming is some thirty and odd
miles from London as I found from a map I borrowed and I purpose to rest
there We must push on again tomorrow for we are not rich enough to loiter
Let me relieve you of that bundle Come«
»No no« rejoined Smike falling back a few steps »Dont ask me to give it
up to you«
»Why not« asked Nicholas
»Let me do something for you at least« said Smike »You will never let me
serve you as I ought You will never know how I think day and night of ways to
please you«
»You are a foolish fellow to say it for I know it well and see it or I
should be a blind and senseless beast« rejoined Nicholas »Let me ask you a
question while I think of it and there is no one by« he added looking him
steadily in the face »Have you a good memory«
»I dont know« said Smike shaking his head sorrowfully »I think I had
once but its all gone now all gone«
»Why do you think you had once« asked Nicholas turning quickly upon him as
though the answer in some way helped out the purport of his question
»Because I could remember when I was a child« said Smike »but that is
very very long ago or at least it seems so I was always confused and giddy at
that place you took me from and could never remember and sometimes couldnt
even understand what they said to me I let me see let me see«
»You are wandering now« said Nicholas touching him on the arm
»No« replied his companion with a vacant look »I was only thinking how
« He shivered involuntarily as he spoke
»Think no more of that place for it is all over« retorted Nicholas fixing
his eye full upon that of his companion which was fast settling into an
unmeaning stupified gaze once habitual to him and common even then »What of
the first day you went to Yorkshire«
»Eh« cried the lad
»That was before you began to lose your recollection you know« said
Nicholas quietly »Was the weather hot or cold«
»Wet« replied the boy »Very wet I have always said when it has rained
hard that it was like the night I came and they used to crowd round and laugh
to see me cry when the rain fell heavily It was like a child they said and
that made me think of it more I turned cold all over sometimes for I could see
myself as I was then coming in at the very same door«
»As you were then« repeated Nicholas with assumed carelessness »how was
that«
»Such a little creature« said Smike »that they might have had pity and
mercy upon me only to remember it«
»You didnt find your way there alone« remarked Nicholas
»No« rejoined Smike »oh no«
»Who was with you«
»A man a dark withered man I have heard them say so at the school and
I remembered that before I was glad to leave him I was afraid of him but they
made me more afraid of them and used me harder too«
»Look at me« said Nicholas wishing to attract his full attention »There
dont turn away Do you remember no woman no kind woman who hung over you
once and kissed your lips and called you her child«
»No« said the poor creature shaking his head »no never«
»Nor any house but that house in Yorkshire«
»No« rejoined the youth with a melancholy look »a room I remember I
slept in a room a large lonesome room at the top of a house where there was a
trapdoor in the ceiling I have covered my head with the clothes often not to
see it for it frightened me a young child with no one near at night and I
used to wonder what was on the other side There was a clock too an old clock
in one corner I remember that I have never forgotten that room for when I
have terrible dreams it comes back just as it was I see things and people in
it that I had never seen then but there is the room just as it used to be that
never changes«
»Will you let me take the bundle now« asked Nicholas abruptly changing the
theme
»No« said Smike »no Come let us walk on«
He quickened his pace as he said this apparently under the impression that
they had been standing still during the whole of the previous dialogue
Nicholas marked him closely and every word of this conversation remained upon
his memory
It was by this time within an hour of noon and although a dense vapour
still enveloped the city they had left as if the very breath of its busy people
hung over their schemes of gain and profit and found greater attraction there
than in the quiet region above in the open country it was clear and fair
Occasionally in some low spots they came upon patches of mist which the sun had
not yet driven from their strongholds but these were soon passed and as they
laboured up the hills beyond it was pleasant to look down and see how the
sluggish mass rolled heavily off before the cheering influence of day A broad
fine honest sun lighted up the green pastures and dimpled water with the
semblance of summer while it left the travellers all the invigorating freshness
of that early time of year The ground seemed elastic under their feet the
sheepbells were music to their ears and exhilarated by exercise and
stimulated by hope they pushed onward with the strength of lions
The day wore on and all these bright colours subsided and assumed a
quieter tint like young hopes softened down by time or youthful features by
degrees resolving into the calm and serenity of age But they were scarcely less
beautiful in their slow decline than they had been in their prime for nature
gives to every time and season some beauties of its own; and from morning to
night as from the cradle to the grave is but a succession of changes so gentle
and easy that we can scarcely mark their progress
To Godalming they came at last and here they bargained for two humble beds
and slept soundly In the morning they were astir though not quite so early as
the sun and again afoot if not with all the freshness of yesterday still
with enough of hope and spirit to bear them cheerily on
It was a harder days journey than yesterdays for there were long and
weary hills to climb and in journeys as in life it is a great deal easier to
go down hill than up However they kept on with unabated perseverance and the
hill has not yet lifted its face to heaven that perseverance will not gain the
summit of at last
They walked upon the rim of the Devils Punch Bowl and Smike listened with
greedy interest as Nicholas read the inscription upon the stone which reared
upon that wild spot tells of a murder committed there by night The grass on
which they stood had once been dyed with gore and the blood of the murdered
man had run down drop by drop into the hollow which gives the place its name
»The Devils Bowl« thought Nicholas as he looked into the void »never held
fitter liquor than that«
Onward they kept with steady purpose and entered at length upon a wide and
spacious tract of downs with every variety of little hill and plain to change
their verdant surface Here there shot up almost perpendicularly into the
sky a height so steep as to be hardly accessible to any but the sheep and
goats that fed upon its sides and there stood a mound of green sloping and
tapering off so delicately and merging so gently into the level ground that
you could scarce define its limits Hills swelling above each other and
undulations shapely and uncouth smooth and rugged graceful and grotesque
thrown negligently side by side bounded the view in each direction while
frequently with unexpected noise there uprose from the ground a flight of
crows who cawing and wheeling round the nearest hills as if uncertain of
their course suddenly poised themselves upon the wing and skimmed down the long
vista of some opening valley with the speed of light itself
By degrees the prospect receded more and more on either hand and as they
had been shut out from rich and extensive scenery so they emerged once again
upon the open country The knowledge that they were drawing near their place of
destination gave them fresh courage to proceed but the way had been difficult
and they had loitered on the road and Smike was tired Thus twilight had
already closed in when they turned off the path to the door of a roadside inn
yet twelve miles short of Portsmouth
»Twelve miles« said Nicholas leaning with both hands on his stick and
looking doubtfully at Smike
»Twelve long miles« repeated the landlord
»Is it a good road« inquired Nicholas
»Very bad« said the landlord As of course being a landlord he would say
»I want to get on« observed Nicholas hesitating »I scarcely know what to
do«
»Dont let me influence you« rejoined the landlord »I wouldnt go on if it
was me«
»Wouldnt you« asked Nicholas with the same uncertainty
»Not if I knew when I was well off« said the landlord And having said it
he pulled up his apron put his hands into his pockets and taking a step or
two outside the door looked down the dark road with an assumption of great
indifference
A glance at the toilworn face of Smike determined Nicholas so without any
further consideration he made up his mind to stay where he was
The landlord led them into the kitchen and as there was a good fire he
remarked that it was very cold If there had happened to be a bad one he would
have observed that it was very warm
»What can you give us for supper« was Nicholass natural question
»Why what would you like« was the landlords no less natural answer
Nicholas suggested cold meat but there was no cold meat poached eggs but
there were no eggs mutton chops but there wasnt a mutton chop within three
miles though there had been more last week than they knew what to do with and
would be an extraordinary supply the day after tomorrow
»Then« said Nicholas »I must leave it entirely to you as I would have
done at first if you had allowed me«
»Why then Ill tell you what« rejoined the landlord »Theres a gentleman
in the parlour thats ordered a hot beefsteak pudding and potatoes at nine
Theres more of it than he can manage and I have very little doubt that if I
ask leave you can sup with him Ill do that in a minute«
»No no« said Nicholas detaining him »I would rather not I at least
pshaw why cannot I speak out Here you see that I am travelling in a very
humble manner and have made my way hither on foot It is more than probable I
think that the gentleman may not relish my company and although I am the dusty
figure you see I am too proud to thrust myself into his«
»Lord love you« said the landlord »its only Mr Crummles he isnt
particular«
»Is he not« asked Nicholas on whose mind to tell the truth the prospect
of the savoury pudding was making some impression
»Not he« replied the landlord »Hell like your way of talking I know But
well soon see all about that Just wait a minute«
The landlord hurried into the parlour without staying for further
permission nor did Nicholas strive to prevent him wisely considering that
supper under the circumstances was too serious a matter to trifle with It was
not long before the host returned in a condition of much excitement
»All right« he said in a low voice »I knew he would Youll see something
rather worth seeing in there Ecod how they are a going of it«
There was no time to inquire to what this exclamation which was delivered
in a very rapturous tone referred for he had already thrown open the door of
the room into which Nicholas followed by Smike with the bundle on his shoulder
he carried it about with him as vigilantly as if it had been a sack of gold
straightway repaired
Nicholas was prepared for something odd but not for something quite so odd
as the sight he encountered At the upper end of the room were a couple of
boys one of them very tall and the other very short both dressed as sailors
or at least as theatrical sailors with belts buckles pigtails and pistols
complete fighting what is called in playbills a terrific combat with two of
those short broadswords with basket hilts which are commonly used at our minor
theatres The short boy had gained a great advantage over the tall boy who was
reduced to mortal strait and both were overlooked by a large heavy man perched
against the corner of a table who emphatically adjured them to strike a little
more fire out of the swords and they couldnt fail to bring the house down on
the very first night
»Mr Vincent Crummles« said the landlord with an air of great deference
»This is the young gentleman«
Mr Vincent Crummles received Nicholas with an inclination of the head
something between the courtesy of a Roman emperor and the nod of a pot
companion and bade the landlord shut the door and begone
»Theres a picture« said Mr Crummles motioning Nicholas not to advance
and spoil it »The little un has him if the big un doesnt knock under in
three seconds hes a dead man Do that again boys«
The two combatants went to work afresh and chopped away until the swords
emitted a shower of sparks to the great satisfaction of Mr Crummles who
appeared to consider this a very great point indeed The engagement commenced
with about two hundred chops administered by the short sailor and the tall
sailor alternately without producing any particular result until the short
sailor was chopped down on one knee but this was nothing to him for he worked
himself about on the one knee with the assistance of his left hand and fought
most desperately until the tall sailor chopped his sword out of his grasp Now
the inference was that the short sailor reduced to this extremity would give
in at once and cry quarter but instead of that he all of a sudden drew a
large pistol from his belt and presented it at the face of the tall sailor who
was so overcome at this not expecting it that he let the short sailor pick up
his sword and begin again Then the chopping recommenced and a variety of
fancy chops were administered on both sides such as chops dealt with the left
hand and under the leg and over the right shoulder and over the left and
when the short sailor made a vigorous cut at the tall sailors legs which would
have shaved them clean off if it had taken effect the tall sailor jumped over
the short sailors sword wherefore to balance the matter and make it all fair
the tall sailor administered the same cut and the short sailor jumped over his
sword After this there was a good deal of dodging about and hitching up of
the inexpressibles in the absence of braces and then the short sailor who was
the moral character evidently for he always had the best of it made a violent
demonstration and closed with the tall sailor who after a few unavailing
struggles went down and expired in great torture as the short sailor put his
foot upon his breast and bored a hole in him through and through
»Thatll be a double encore if you take care boys« said Mr Crummles »You
had better get your wind now and change your clothes«
Having addressed these words to the combatants he saluted Nicholas who
then observed that the face of Mr Crummles was quite proportionate in size to
his body that he had a very full underlip a hoarse voice as though he were
in the habit of shouting very much and very short black hair shaved off nearly
to the crown of his head to admit as he afterwards learnt of his more easily
wearing character wigs of any shape or pattern
»What do you think of that sir« inquired Mr Crummles
»Very good indeed capital« answered Nicholas
»You wont see such boys as those very often I think« said Mr Crummles
Nicholas assented observing that if they were a little better match
»Match« cried Mr Crummles
»I mean if they were a little more of a size« said Nicholas explaining
himself
»Size« repeated Mr Crummles »why its the essence of the combat that
there should be a foot or two between them How are you to get up the sympathies
of the audience in a legitimate manner if there isnt a little man contending
against a big one unless theres at least five to one and we havent hands
enough for that business in our company«
»I see« replied Nicholas »I beg your pardon That didnt occur to me I
confess«
»Its the main point« said Mr Crummles »I open at Portsmouth the day
after tomorrow If youre going there look into the theatre and see how
thatll tell«
Nicholas promised to do so if he could and drawing a chair near the fire
fell into conversation with the manager at once He was very talkative and
communicative stimulated perhaps not only by his natural disposition but by
the spirits and water he sipped very plentifully or the snuff he took in large
quantities from a piece of whiteybrown paper in his waistcoat pocket He laid
open his affairs without the smallest reserve and descanted at some length upon
the merits of his company and the acquirements of his family of both of which
the two broadsword boys formed an honourable portion There was to be a
gathering it seemed of the different ladies and gentlemen at Portsmouth on the
morrow whither the father and sons were proceeding not for the regular season
but in the course of a wandering speculation after fulfilling an engagement at
Guildford with the greatest applause
»You are going that way« asked the manager
»Yeyes« said Nicholas »Yes I am«
»Do you know the town at all« inquired the manager who seemed to consider
himself entitled to the same degree of confidence as he had himself exhibited
»No« replied Nicholas
»Never there«
»Never«
Mr Vincent Crummles gave a short dry cough as much as to say »If you
wont be communicative you wont« and took so many pinches of snuff from the
piece of paper one after another that Nicholas quite wondered where it all
went to
While he was thus engaged Mr Crummles looked from time to time with
great interest at Smike with whom he had appeared considerably struck from the
first He had now fallen asleep and was nodding in his chair
»Excuse my saying so« said the manager leaning over to Nicholas and
sinking his voice »but what a capital countenance your friend has got«
»Poor fellow« said Nicholas with a half smile »I wish it were a little
more plump and less haggard«
»Plump« exclaimed the manager quite horrified »youd spoil it for ever«
»Do you think so«
»Think so sir Why as he is now« said the manager striking his knee
emphatically »without a pad upon his body and hardly a touch of paint upon his
face hed make such an actor for the starved business as was never seen in this
country Only let him be tolerably well up in the Apothecary in Romeo and Juliet
with the slightest possible dab of red on the tip of his nose and hed be
certain of three rounds the moment he put his head out of the practicable door
in the front grooves O P«
»You view him with a professional eye« said Nicholas laughing
»And well I may« rejoined the manager »I never saw a young fellow so
regularly cut out for that line since Ive been in the profession And I played
the heavy children when I was eighteen months old«
The appearance of the beefsteak pudding which came in simultaneously with
the junior Vincent Crummleses turned the conversation to other matters and
indeed for a time stopped it altogether These two young gentlemen wielded
their knives and forks with scarcely less address than their broadswords and
as the whole party were quite as sharp set as either class of weapons there was
no time for talking until the supper had been disposed of
The Master Crummleses had no sooner swallowed the last procurable morsel of
food than they evinced by various halfsuppressed yawns and stretchings of
their limbs an obvious inclination to retire for the night which Smike had
betrayed still more strongly he having in the course of the meal fallen
asleep several times while in the very act of eating Nicholas therefore
proposed that they should break up at once but the manager would by no means
hear of it vowing that he had promised himself the pleasure of inviting his new
acquaintance to share a bowl of punch and that if he declined he should deem
it very unhandsome behaviour
»Let them go« said Mr Vincent Crummles »and well have it snugly and
cosily together by the fire «
Nicholas was not much disposed to sleep being in truth too anxious so
after a little demur he accepted the offer and having exchanged a shake of the
hand with the young Crummleses and the manager having on his part bestowed a
most affectionate benediction on Smike he sat himself down opposite to that
gentleman by the fireside to assist in emptying the bowl which soon afterwards
appeared steaming in a manner which was quite exhilarating to behold and
sending forth a most grateful and inviting fragrance
But despite the punch and the manager who told a variety of stories and
smoked tobacco from a pipe and inhaled it in the shape of snuff with a most
astonishing power Nicholas was absent and dispirited His thoughts were in his
old home and when they reverted to his present condition the uncertainty of
the morrow cast a gloom upon him which his utmost efforts were unable to
dispel His attention wandered although he heard the managers voice he was
deaf to what he said and when Mr Vincent Crummles concluded the history of
some long adventure with a loud laugh and an inquiry what Nicholas would have
done under the same circumstances he was obliged to make the best apology in
his power and to confess his entire ignorance of all he had been talking about
»Why so I saw« observed Mr Crummles »Youre uneasy in your mind Whats
the matter«
Nicholas could not refrain from smiling at the abruptness of the question
but thinking it scarcely worth while to parry it owned that he was under some
apprehensions lest he might not succeed in the object which had brought him to
that part of the country
»And whats that« asked the manager
»Getting something to do which will keep me and my poor fellowtraveller in
the common necessaries of life« said Nicholas »Thats the truth You guessed
it long ago I dare say so I may as well have the credit of telling it you with
a good grace«
»Whats to be got to do at Portsmouth more than anywhere else« asked Mr
Vincent Crummles melting the sealingwax on the stem of his pipe in the candle
and rolling it out afresh with his little finger
»There are many vessels leaving the port I suppose« replied Nicholas »I
shall try for a berth in some ship or other There is meat and drink there at
all events«
»Salt meat and new rum peasepudding and chaffbiscuits« said the manager
taking a whiff at his pipe to keep it alight and returning to his work of
embellishment
»One may do worse than that« said Nicholas »I can rough it I believe as
well as most young men of my age and previous habits«
»You need be able to« said the manager »if you go on board ship but you
wont«
»Why not«
»Because theres not a skipper or mate that would think you worth your salt
when he could get a practised hand« replied the manager »and they as plentiful
there as the oysters in the streets«
»What do you mean« asked Nicholas alarmed by this prediction and the
confident tone in which it had been uttered »Men are not born able seamen They
must be reared I suppose«
Mr Vincent Crummles nodded his head »They must but not at your age or
from young gentlemen like you«
There was a pause The countenance of Nicholas fell and he gazed ruefully
at the fire
»Does no other profession occur to you which a young man of your figure and
address could take up easily and see the world to advantage in« asked the
manager
»No« said Nicholas shaking his head
»Why then Ill tell you one« said Mr Crummles throwing his pipe into
the fire and raising his voice »The stage«
»The stage« cried Nicholas in a voice almost as loud
»The theatrical profession« said Mr Vincent Crummles »I am in the
theatrical profession myself my wife is in the theatrical profession my
children are in the theatrical profession I had a dog that lived and died in it
from a puppy and my chaisepony goes on in Timour the Tartar Ill bring you
out and your friend too Say the word I want a novelty«
»I dont know anything about it« rejoined Nicholas whose breath had been
almost taken away by this sudden proposal »I never acted a part in my life
except at school«
»Theres genteel comedy in your walk and manner juvenile tragedy in your
eye and touchandgo farce in your laugh« said Mr Vincent Crummles »Youll
do as well as if you had thought of nothing else but the lamps from your birth
downwards«
Nicholas thought of the small amount of small change that would remain in
his pocket after paying the tavern bill and he hesitated
»You can be useful to us in a hundred ways« said Mr Crummles »Think what
capital bills a man of your education could write for the shopwindows«
»Well I think I could manage that department« said Nicholas
»To be sure you could« replied Mr Crummles »For further particulars see
small handbills we might have half a volume in every one of em Pieces too
why you could write us a piece to bring out the whole strength of the company
whenever we wanted one«
»I am not quite so confident about that« replied Nicholas »But I dare say
I could scribble something now and then that would suit you«
»Well have a new showpiece out directly« said the manager »Let me see
peculiar resources of this establishment new and splendid scenery you must
manage to introduce a real pump and two washingtubs«
»Into the piece« said Nicholas
»Yes« replied the manager »I bought em cheap at a sale the other day and
theyll come in admirably Thats the London play They look up some dresses
and properties and have a piece written to fit em Most of the theatres keep
an author on purpose«
»Indeed« cried Nicholas
»Oh yes« said the manager »a common thing Itll look very well in the
bills in separate lines Real pump Splendid tubs Great attraction You
dont happen to be anything of an artist do you«
»That is not one of my accomplishments« rejoined Nicholas
»Ah Then it cant be helped« said the manager »If you had been we might
have had a large woodcut of the last scene for the posters showing the whole
depth of the stage with the pump and tubs in the middle but however if youre
not it cant be helped«
»What should I get for all this« inquired Nicholas after a few moments
reflection »Could I live by it«
»Live by it« said the manager »Like a prince With your own salary and
your friends and your writings youd make ah youd make a pound a week«
»You dont say so«
»I do indeed and if we had a run of good houses nearly double the money«
Nicholas shrugged his shoulders but sheer destitution was before him and
if he could summon fortitude to undergo the extremes of want and hardship for
what had he rescued his helpless charge if it were only to bear as hard a fate
as that from which he had wrested him It was easy to think of seventy miles as
nothing when he was in the same town with the man who had treated him so ill
and roused his bitterest thoughts but now it seemed far enough What if he
went abroad and his mother or Kate were to die the while
Without more deliberation he hastily declared that it was a bargain and
gave Mr Vincent Crummles his hand upon it
Chapter XXIII
Treats of the Company of Mr Vincent Crummles and of His Affairs Domestic and
Theatrical
As Mr Crummles had a strange fourlegged animal in the inn stables which he
called a pony and a vehicle of unknown design on which he bestowed the
appellation of a fourwheeled phaeton Nicholas proceeded on his journey next
morning with greater ease than he had expected the manager and himself
occupying the front seat and the Master Crummleses and Smike being packed
together behind in company with a wicker basket defended from wet by a stout
oilskin in which were the broadswords pistols pigtails nautical costumes
and other professional necessaries of the aforesaid young gentlemen
The pony took his time upon the road and possibly in consequence of his
theatrical education evinced every now and then a strong inclination to lie
down However Mr Vincent Crummles kept him up pretty well by jerking the
rein and plying the whip and when these means failed and the animal came to a
stand the elder Master Crummles got out and kicked him By dint of these
encouragements he was persuaded to move from time to time and they jogged on
as Mr Crummles truly observed very comfortably for all parties
»Hes a good pony at bottom« said Mr Crummles turning to Nicholas
He might have been at bottom but he certainly was not at top seeing that
his coat was of the roughest and most illfavoured kind So Nicholas merely
observed that he shouldnt wonder if he was
»Many and many is the circuit this pony has gone« said Mr Crummles
flicking him skilfully on the eyelid for old acquaintance sake »He is quite
one of us His mother was on the stage«
»Was she« rejoined Nicholas
»She ate applepie at a circus for upwards of fourteen years« said the
manager »fired pistols and went to bed in a nightcap and in short took the
low comedy entirely His father was a dancer«
»Was he at all distinguished«
»Not very« said the manager »He was rather a low sort of pony The fact
is he had been originally jobbed out by the day and he never quite got over
his old habits He was clever in melodrama too but too broad too broad When
the mother died he took the portwine business«
»The portwine business« cried Nicholas
»Drinking portwine with the clown« said the manager »but he was greedy
and one night bit off the bowl of the glass and choked himself so his
vulgarity was the death of him at last«
The descendant of this illstarred animal requiring increased attention from
Mr Crummles as he progressed in his days work that gentleman had very little
time for conversation Nicholas was thus left at leisure to entertain himself
with his own thoughts until they arrived at the drawbridge at Portsmouth when
Mr Crummles pulled up
»Well get down here« said the manager »and the boys will take him round
to the stable and call at my lodgings with the luggage You had better let
yours be taken there for the present«
Thanking Mr Vincent Crummles for his obliging offer Nicholas jumped out
and giving Smike his arm accompanied the manager up High Street on their way
to the theatre feeling nervous and uncomfortable enough at the prospect of an
immediate introduction to a scene so new to him
They passed a great many bills pasted against the walls and displayed in
windows wherein the names of Mr Vincent Crummles Mrs Vincent Crummles
Master Crummles Master P Crummles and Miss Crummles were printed in very
large letters and everything else in very small ones and turning at length
into an entry in which was a strong smell of orangepeel and lampoil with an
undercurrent of sawdust groped their way through a dark passage and
descending a step or two threaded a little maze of canvas screens and
paintpots and emerged upon the stage of the Portsmouth Theatre
»Here we are« said Mr Crummles
It was not very light but Nicholas found himself close to the first
entrance on the prompt side among bare walls dusty scenes mildewed clouds
heavily daubed draperies and dirty floors He looked about him ceiling pit
boxes gallery orchestra fittings and decorations of every kind all looked
coarse cold gloomy and wretched
»Is this a theatre« whispered Smike in amazement »I thought it was a
blaze of light and finery«
»Why so it is« replied Nicholas hardly less surprised »but not by day
Smike not by day«
The managers voice recalled him from a more careful inspection of the
building to the opposite side of the proscenium where at a small mahogany
table with rickety legs and of an oblong shape sat a stout portly female
apparently between forty and fifty in a tarnished silk cloak with her bonnet
dangling by the strings in her hand and her hair of which she had a great
quantity braided in a large festoon over each temple
»Mr Johnson« said the manager for Nicholas had given the name which
Newman Noggs had bestowed upon him in his conversation with Mrs Kenwigs »let
me introduce Mrs Vincent Crummles«
»I am glad to see you sir« said Mrs Vincent Crummles in a sepulchral
voice »I am very glad to see you and still more happy to hail you as a
promising member of our corps«
The lady shook Nicholas by the hand as she addressed him in these terms he
saw it was a large one but had not expected quite such an iron grip as that
with which she honored him
»And this« said the lady crossing to Smike as tragic actresses cross when
they obey a stage direction »and this is the other You too are welcome sir«
»Hell do I think my dear« said the manager taking a pinch of snuff
»He is admirable« replied the lady »An acquisition indeed«
As Mrs Vincent Crummles recrossed back to the table there bounded on to
the stage from some mysterious inlet a little girl in a dirty white frock with
tucks up to the knees short trousers sandaled shoes white spencer pink gauze
bonnet green veil and curlpapers who turned a pirouette cut twice in the
air turned another pirouette then looking off at the opposite wing shrieked
bounded forward to within six inches of the footlights and fell into a
beautiful attitude of terror as a shabby gentleman in an old pair of buff
slippers came in at one powerful slide and chattering his teeth fiercely
brandished a walkingstick
»They are going through the Indian Savage and the Maiden« said Mrs
Crummles
»Oh« said the manager »the little ballet interlude Very good go on A
little this way if you please Mr Johnson Thatll do Now«
The manager clapped his hands as a signal to proceed and the savage
becoming ferocious made a slide towards the maiden but the maiden avoided him
in six twirls and came down at the end of the last one upon the very points
of her toes This seemed to make some impression upon the savage for after a
little more ferocity and chasing of the maiden into corners he began to relent
and stroked his face several times with his right thumb and four fingers
thereby intimating that he was struck with admiration of the maidens beauty
Acting upon the impulse of this passion he the savage began to hit himself
severe thumps in the chest and to exhibit other indications of being
desperately in love which being rather a prosy proceeding was very likely the
cause of the maidens falling asleep whether it was or no asleep she did fall
sound as a church on a sloping bank and the savage perceiving it leant his
left ear on his left hand and nodded sideways to intimate to all whom it might
concern that she was asleep and no shamming Being left to himself the savage
had a dance all alone Just as he left off the maiden woke up rubbed her
eyes got off the bank and had a dance all alone too such a dance that the
savage looked on in ecstasy all the while and when it was done plucked from a
neighbouring tree some botanical curiosity resembling a small pickled cabbage
and offered it to the maiden who at first wouldnt have it but on the savage
shedding tears relented Then the savage jumped for joy then the maiden jumped
for rapture at the sweet smell of the pickled cabbage Then the savage and the
maiden danced violently together and finally the savage dropped down on one
knee and the maiden stood on one leg upon his other knee thus concluding the
ballet and leaving the spectators in a state of pleasing uncertainty whether
she would ultimately marry the savage or return to her friends
»Very well indeed« said Mr Crummles »bravo«
»Bravo« cried Nicholas resolved to make the best of everything
»Beautiful«
»This sir« said Mr Vincent Crummles bringing the maiden forward »this
is the infant phenomenon Miss Ninetta Crummles«
»Your daughter« inquired Nicholas
»My daughter my daughter« replied Mr Vincent Crummles »the idol of
every place we go into sir We have had complimentary letters about this girl
sir from the nobility and gentry of almost every town in England«
»I am not surprised at that« said Nicholas »she must be quite a natural
genius«
»Quite a « Mr Crummles stopped language was not powerful enough to
describe the infant phenomenon »Ill tell you what sir« he said »the talent
of this child is not to be imagined She must be seen sir seen to be ever
so faintly appreciated There go to your mother my dear«
»May I ask how old she is« inquired Nicholas
»You may sir« replied Mr Crummles looking steadily in his questioners
face as some men do when they have doubts about being implicitly believed in
what they are going to say »She is ten years of age sir«
»Not more«
»Not a day«
»Dear me« said Nicholas »its extraordinary«
It was for the infant phenomenon though of short stature had a
comparatively aged countenance and had moreover been precisely the same age
not perhaps to the full extent of the memory of the oldest inhabitant but
certainly for five good years But she had been kept up late every night and
put upon an unlimited allowance of ginandwater from infancy to prevent her
growing tall and perhaps this system of training had produced in the infant
phenomenon these additional phenomena
While this short dialogue was going on the gentleman who had enacted the
savage came up with his walking shoes on his feet and his slippers in his
hand to within a few paces as if desirous to join in the conversation Deeming
this a good opportunity he put in his word
»Talent there sir« said the savage nodding towards Miss Crummles
Nicholas assented
»Ah« said the actor setting his teeth together and drawing in his breath
with a hissing sound »she oughtnt to be in the provinces she oughtnt«
»What do you mean« asked the manager
»I mean to say« replied the other warmly »that she is too good for
country boards and that she ought to be in one of the large houses in London
or nowhere and I tell you more without mincing the matter that if it wasnt
for envy and jealousy in some quarter that you know of she would be Perhaps
youll introduce me here Mr Crummles«
»Mr Folair« said the manager presenting him to Nicholas
»Happy to know you sir« Mr Folair touched the brim of his hat with his
forefinger and then shook hands »A recruit sir I understand«
»An unworthy one« replied Nicholas
»Did you ever see such a setout as that« whispered the actor drawing him
away as Crummles left them to speak to his wife
»As what«
Mr Folair made a funny face from his pantomime collection and pointed over
his shoulder
»You dont mean the infant phenomenon«
»Infant humbug sir« replied Mr Folair »There isnt a female child of
common sharpness in a charity school that couldnt do better than that She may
thank her stars she was born a managers daughter«
»You seem to take it to heart« observed Nicholas with a smile
»Yes by Jove and well I may« said Mr Folair drawing his arm through
his and walking him up and down the stage »Isnt it enough to make a man
crusty to see that little sprawler put up in the best business every night and
actually keeping money out of the house by being forced down the peoples
throats while other people are passed over Isnt it extraordinary to see a
mans confounded family conceit blinding him even to his own interest Why I
know of fifteen and sixpence that came to Southampton one night last month to
see me dance the Highland Fling and whats the consequence Ive never been put
up in it since never once while the infant phenomenon has been grinning
through artificial flowers at five people and a baby in the pit and two boys in
the gallery every night«
»If I may judge from what I have seen of you« said Nicholas »you must be a
valuable member of the company«
»Oh« replied Mr Folair beating his slippers together to knock the dust
out »I can come it pretty well nobody better perhaps in my own line but
having such business as one gets here is like putting lead on ones feet
instead of chalk and dancing in fetters without the credit of it Holloa old
fellow how are you«
The gentleman addressed in these latter words was a darkcomplexioned man
inclining indeed to sallow with long thick black hair and very evident
indications although he was close shaved of a stiff beard and whiskers of the
same deep shade His age did not appear to exceed thirty though many at first
sight would have considered him much older as his face was long and very pale
from the constant application of stage paint He wore a checked shirt an old
green coat with new gilt buttons a neckerchief of broad red and green stripes
and full blue trousers he carried too a common ash walkingstick apparently
more for show than use as he flourished it about with the hooked end
downwards except when he raised it for a few seconds and throwing himself into
a fencing attitude made a pass or two at the sidescenes or at any other
object animate or inanimate that chanced to afford him a pretty good mark at
the moment
»Well Tommy« said this gentleman making a thrust at his friend who
parried it dexterously with his slipper »whats the news«
»A new appearance thats all« replied Mr Folair looking at Nicholas
»Do the honors Tommy do the honors« said the other gentleman tapping him
reproachfully on the crown of the hat with his stick
»This is Mr Lenville who does our first tragedy Mr Johnson« said the
pantomimist
»Except when old bricks and mortar takes it into his head to do it himself
you should add Tommy« remarked Mr Lenville »You know who bricks and mortar
is I suppose sir«
»I do not indeed« replied Nicholas
»We call Crummles that because his style of acting is rather in the heavy
and ponderous way« said Mr Lenville »I mustnt be cracking jokes though for
Ive got a part of twelve lengths here which I must be up in tomorrow night
and I havent had time to look at it yet Im a confounded quick study thats
one comfort«
Consoling himself with this reflection Mr Lenville drew from his
coatpocket a greasy and crumpled manuscript and having made another pass at
his friend proceeded to walk to and fro conning it to himself and indulging
occasionally in such appropriate action as his imagination and the text
suggested
A pretty general muster of the company had by this time taken place for
besides Mr Lenville and his friend Tommy there were present a slim young
gentleman with weak eyes who played the lowspirited lovers and sang tenor
songs and who had come arminarm with the comic countryman a man with a
turnedup nose large mouth broad face and staring eyes Making himself very
amiable to the infant phenomenon was an inebriated elderly gentleman in the
last depths of shabbiness who played the calm and virtuous old men and paying
especial court to Mrs Crummles was another elderly gentleman a shade more
respectable who played the irascible old men those funny fellows who have
nephews in the army and perpetually run about with thick sticks to compel them
to marry heiresses Besides these there was a rovinglooking person in a rough
greatcoat who strode up and down in front of the lamps flourishing a
dresscane and rattling away in an undertone with great vivacity for the
amusement of an ideal audience He was not quite so young as he had been and
his figure was rather running to seed but there was an air of exaggerated
gentility about him which bespoke the hero of swaggering comedy There was
also a little group of three or four young men with lantern jaws and thick
eyebrows who were conversing in one corner but they seemed to be of secondary
importance and laughed and talked together without attracting any attention
The ladies were gathered in a little knot by themselves round the rickety
table before mentioned There was Miss Snevellicci who could do anything from
a medley dance to Lady Macbeth and also always played some part in blue silk
kneesmalls at her benefit glancing from the depths of her coalscuttle straw
bonnet at Nicholas and affecting to be absorbed in the recital of a diverting
story to her friend Miss Ledrook who had brought her work and was making up a
ruff in the most natural manner possible There was Miss Belvawney who seldom
aspired to speaking parts and usually went on as a page in white silk hose to
stand with one leg bent and contemplate the audience or to go in and out after
Mr Crummles in stately tragedy twisting up the ringlets of the beautiful Miss
Bravassa who had once had her likeness taken in character by an engravers
apprentice whereof impressions were hung up for sale in the pastrycooks
window and the greengrocers and at the circulating library and the
boxoffice whenever the announce bills came out for her annual night There was
Mrs Lenville in a very limp bonnet and veil decidedly in that way in which
she would wish to be if she truly loved Mr Lenville there was Miss Gazingi
with an imitation ermine boa tied in a loose knot round her neck flogging Mr
Crummles junior with both ends in fun Lastly there was Mrs Grudden in a
brown cloth pelisse and a beaver bonnet who assisted Mrs Crummles in her
domestic affairs and took money at the doors and dressed the ladies and swept
the house and held the prompt book when everybody else was on for the last
scene and acted any kind of part on any emergency without ever learning it and
was put down in the bills under any name or names whatever that occurred to Mr
Crummles as looking well in print
Mr Folair having obligingly confided these particulars to Nicholas left
him to mingle with his fellows the work of personal introduction was completed
by Mr Vincent Crummles who publicly heralded the new actor as a prodigy of
genius and learning
»I beg your pardon« said Miss Snevellicci sidling towards Nicholas »but
did you ever play at Canterbury«
»I never did« replied Nicholas
»I recollect meeting a gentleman at Canterbury« said Miss Snevellicci
»only for a few moments for I was leaving the company as he joined it so like
you that I felt almost certain it was the same«
»I see you now for the first time« rejoined Nicholas with all due
gallantry »I am sure I never saw you before I couldnt have forgotten it«
»Oh Im sure its very flattering of you to say so« retorted Miss
Snevellicci with a graceful bend »Now I look at you again I see that the
gentleman at Canterbury hadnt the same eyes as you youll think me very
foolish for taking notice of such things wont you«
»Not at all« said Nicholas »How can I feel otherwise than flattered by
your notice in any way«
»Oh you men are such vain creatures« cried Miss Snevellicci Whereupon
she became charmingly confused and pulling out her pockethandkerchief from a
faded pink silk reticule with a gilt clasp called to Miss Ledrook
»Led my dear« said Miss Snevellicci
»Well what is the matter« said Miss Ledrook
»Its not the same«
»Not the same what«
»Canterbury you know what I mean Come here I want to speak to you«
But Miss Ledrook wouldnt come to Miss Snevellicci so Miss Snevellicci was
obliged to go to Miss Ledrook which she did in a skipping manner that was
quite fascinating and Miss Ledrook evidently joked Miss Snevellicci about being
struck with Nicholas for after some playful whispering Miss Snevellicci hit
Miss Ledrook very hard on the backs of her hands and retired up in a state of
pleasing confusion
»Ladies and gentlemen« said Mr Vincent Crummles who had been writing on a
piece of paper »well call the Mortal Struggle tomorrow at ten everybody for
the procession Intrigue and Ways and Means youre all up in so we shall only
want one rehearsal Everybody at ten if you please«
»Everybody at ten« repeated Mrs Grudden looking about her
»On Monday morning we shall read a new piece« said Mr Crummles »the names
not known yet but everybody will have a good part Mr Johnson will take care
of that«
»Hallo« said Nicholas starting »I «
»On Monday morning« repeated Mr Crummles raising his voice to drown the
unfortunate Mr Johnsons remonstrance »thatll do ladies and gentlemen«
The ladies and gentlemen required no second notice to quit and in a few
minutes the theatre was deserted save by the Crummles family Nicholas and
Smike
»Upon my word« said Nicholas taking the manager aside »I dont think I
can be ready by Monday«
»Pooh pooh« replied Mr Crummles
»But really I cant« returned Nicholas »my invention is not accustomed to
these demands or possibly I might produce «
»Invention what the devils that got to do with it« cried the manager
hastily
»Everything my dear sir«
»Nothing my dear sir« retorted the manager with evident impatience »Do
you understand French«
»Perfectly well«
»Very good« said the manager opening the tabledrawer and giving a roll
of paper from it to Nicholas »There Just turn that into English and put your
name on the titlepage Damn me« said Mr Crummles angrily »if I havent
often said that I wouldnt have a man or woman in my company that wasnt master
of the language so that they might learn it from the original and play it in
English and save all this trouble and expense«
Nicholas smiled and pocketed the play
»What are you going to do about your lodgings« said Mr Crummles
Nicholas could not help thinking that for the first week it would be an
uncommon convenience to have a turnup bedstead in the pit but he merely
remarked that he had not turned his thoughts that way
»Come home with me then« said Mr Crummles »and my boys shall go with you
after dinner and show you the most likely place«
The offer was not to be refused Nicholas and Mr Crummles gave Mrs
Crummles an arm each and walked up the street in stately array Smike the
boys and the phenomenon, went home by a shorter cut and Mrs Grudden remained
behind to take some cold Irish stew and a pint of porter in the boxoffice
Mrs Crummles trod the pavement as if she were going to immediate execution
with an animating consciousness of innocence and that heroic fortitude which
virtue alone inspires Mr Crummles on the other hand assumed the look and
gait of a hardened despot but they both attracted some notice from many of the
passersby and when they heard a whisper of »Mr and Mrs Crummles« or saw a
little boy run back to stare them in the face the severe expression of their
countenances relaxed for they felt it was popularity
Mr Crummles lived in Saint Thomass Street at the house of one Bulph a
pilot who sported a boatgreen door with windowframes of the same colour and
had the little finger of a drowned man on his parlour mantelshelf with other
maritime and natural curiosities He displayed also a brass knocker a brass
plate and a brass bellhandle all very bright and shining and had a mast
with a vane on the top of it in his back yard
»You are welcome« said Mrs Crummles turning round to Nicholas when they
reached the bowwindowed front room on the first floor
Nicholas bowed his acknowledgments and was unfeignedly glad to see the
cloth laid
»We have but a shoulder of mutton with onion sauce« said Mrs Crummles in
the same charnelhouse voice »but such as our dinner is we beg you to partake
of it«
»You are very good« replied Nicholas »I shall do it ample justice«
»Vincent« said Mrs Crummles »what is the hour«
»Five minutes past dinnertime« said Mr Crummles
Mrs Crummles rang the bell »Let the mutton and onion sauce appear«
The slave who attended upon Mr Bulphs lodgers disappeared and after a
short interval reappeared with the festive banquet Nicholas and the infant
phenomenon opposed each other at the pembroketable and Smike and the master
Crummleses dined on the sofa bedstead
»Are they very theatrical people here« asked Nicholas
»No« replied Mr Crummles shaking his head »far from it far from it«
»I pity them« observed Mrs Crummles
»So do I« said Nicholas »if they have no relish for theatrical
entertainments properly conducted«
»Then they have none sir« rejoined Mr Crummles »To the infants benefit
last year on which occasion she repeated three of her most popular characters
and also appeared in the Fairy Porcupine as originally performed by her there
was a house of no more than four pound twelve«
»Is it possible« cried Nicholas
»And two pound of that was trust pa« said the phenomenon.
»And two pound of that was trust« repeated Mr Crummles »Mrs Crummles
herself has played to mere handfuls«
»But they are always a taking audience Vincent« said the managers wife
»Most audiences are when they have good acting real good acting the
regular thing« replied Mr Crummles forcibly
»Do you give lessons maam« inquired Nicholas
»I do« said Mrs Crummles
»There is no teaching here I suppose«
»There has been« said Mrs Crummles »I have received pupils here I
imparted tuition to the daughter of a dealer in ships provision but it
afterwards appeared that she was insane when she first came to me It was very
extraordinary that she should come under such circumstances«
Not feeling quite so sure of that Nicholas thought it best to hold his
peace
»Let me see« said the manager cogitating after dinner »Would you like some
nice little part with the infant«
»You are very good« replied Nicholas hastily »but I think perhaps it would
be better if I had somebody of my own size at first in case I should turn out
awkward I should feel more at home perhaps«
»True« said the manager »Perhaps you would And you could play up to the
infant in time you know«
»Certainly« replied Nicholas devoutly hoping that it would be a very long
time before he was honored with this distinction
»Then Ill tell you what well do« said Mr Crummles »You shall study
Romeo when youve done that piece dont forget to throw the pump and tubs in
bythebye Juliet Miss Snevellicci old Grudden the nurse Yes thatll do
very well Rover too you might get up Rover while you were about it and
Cassio and Jeremy Diddler You can easily knock them off one part helps the
other so much Here they are cues and all«
With these hasty general directions Mr Crummles thrust a number of little
books into the faltering hands of Nicholas and bidding his eldest son go with
him and show where lodgings were to be had shook him by the hand and wished
him good night
There is no lack of comfortable furnished apartments in Portsmouth and no
difficulty in finding some that are proportionate to very slender finances but
the former were too good and the latter too bad and they went into so many
houses and came out unsuited that Nicholas seriously began to think he should
be obliged to ask permission to spend the night in the theatre after all
Eventually however they stumbled upon two small rooms up three pair of
stairs or rather two pair and a ladder at a tobacconists shop on the Common
Hard a dirty street leading down to the dockyard These Nicholas engaged only
too happy to have escaped any request for payment of a weeks rent beforehand
»There Lay down our personal property Smike« he said after showing young
Crummles down stairs »We have fallen upon strange times and Heaven only knows
the end of them but I am tired with the events of these three days and will
postpone reflection till tomorrow if I can«
Chapter XXIV
Of the Great Bespeak for Miss Snevellicci and the First Appearance of Nicholas
Upon Any Stage
Nicholas was up betimes in the morning but he had scarcely begun to dress
notwithstanding when he heard footsteps ascending the stairs and was presently
saluted by the voices of Mr Folair the pantomimist and Mr Lenville the
tragedian
»House house house« cried Mr Folair
»What ho within there« said Mr Lenville in a deep voice
»Confound these fellows« thought Nicholas »they have come to breakfast I
suppose Ill open the door directly if youll wait an instant«
The gentlemen entreated him not to hurry himself and to beguile the
interval had a fencing bout with their walkingsticks on the very small
landingplace to the unspeakable discomposure of all the other lodgers down
stairs
»Here come in« said Nicholas when he had completed his toilet »In the
name of all thats horrible dont make that noise outside«
»An uncommon snug little box this« said Mr Lenville stepping into the
front room and taking his hat off before he could get in at all »Pernicious
snug«
»For a man at all particular in such matters it might be a trifle too
snug« said Nicholas »for although it is undoubtedly a great convenience to
be able to reach anything you want from the ceiling or the floor or either side
of the room without having to move from your chair still these advantages can
only be had in an apartment of the most limited size«
»It isnt a bit too confined for a single man« returned Mr Lenville »That
reminds me my wife Mr Johnson I hope shell have some good part in this
piece of yours«
»I glanced at the French copy last night« said Nicholas »It looks very
good I think«
»What do you mean to do for me old fellow« asked Mr Lenville poking the
struggling fire with his walkingstick and afterwards wiping it on the skirt of
his coat »Anything in the gruff and grumble way«
»You turn your wife and child out of doors« said Nicholas »and in a fit of
rage and jealousy stab your eldest son in the library«
»Do I though« exclaimed Mr Lenville »Thats very good business«
»After which« said Nicholas »you are troubled with remorse till the last
act and then you make up your mind to destroy yourself But just as you are
raising the pistol to your head a clock strikes ten«
»I see« cried Mr Lenville »Very good«
»You pause« said Nicholas »you recollect to have heard a clock strike ten
in your infancy The pistol falls from your hand you are overcome you burst
into tears and become a virtuous and exemplary character for ever afterwards«
»Capital« said Mr Lenville »thats a sure card a sure card Get the
curtain down with a touch of nature like that and itll be a triumphant
success«
»Is there anything good for me« inquired Mr Folair anxiously
»Let me see« said Nicholas »You play the faithful and attached servant
you are turned out of doors with the wife and child«
»Always coupled with that infernal phenomenon« sighed Mr Folair »and we
go into poor lodgings where I wont take any wages and talk sentiment I
suppose«
»Why yes« replied Nicholas »that is the course of the piece«
»I must have a dance of some kind you know« said Mr Folair »Youll have
to introduce one for the phenomenon, so youd better make a pas de deux and
save time«
»Theres nothing easier than that« said Mr Lenville observing the
disturbed looks of the young dramatist
»Upon my word I dont see how its to be done« rejoined Nicholas
»Why isnt it obvious« reasoned Mr Lenville »Gadzooks who can help
seeing the way to do it you astonish me You get the distressed lady and the
little child and the attached servant into the poor lodgings dont you
Well look here The distressed lady sinks into a chair and buries her face in
her pockethandkerchief What makes you weep mama says the child Dont weep
mama or youll make me weep too And me says the faithful servant rubbing
his eyes with his arm What can we do to raise your spirits dear mama says the
little child Aye what can we do says the faithful servant Oh Pierre says
the distressed lady would that I could shake off these painful thoughts Try
maam try says the faithful servant rouse yourself maam be amused I
will says the lady I will learn to suffer with fortitude Do you remember that
dance my honest friend which in happier days you practised with this sweet
angel It never failed to calm my spirits then Oh let me see it once again
before I die There it is cue for the band before I die and off they go
Thats the regular thing isnt it Tommy«
»Thats it« replied Mr Folair »The distressed lady overpowered by old
recollections faints at the end of the dance and you close in with a picture«
Profiting by these and other lessons which were the result of the personal
experience of the two actors Nicholas willingly gave them the best breakfast he
could and when he at length got rid of them applied himself to his task by
no means displeased to find that it was so much easier than he had at first
supposed He worked very hard all day and did not leave his room until the
evening when he went down to the theatre whither Smike had repaired before him
to go on with another gentleman as a general rebellion
Here all the people were so much changed that he scarcely knew them False
hair false colour false calves false muscles they had become different
beings Mr Lenville was a blooming warrior of most exquisite proportions Mr
Crummles his large face shaded by a profusion of black hair a Highland outlaw
of most majestic bearing one of the old gentlemen a gaoler and the other a
venerable patriarch the comic countryman a fightingman of great valour
relieved by a touch of humour each of the master Crummleses a prince in his own
right and the lowspirited lover a desponding captive There was a gorgeous
banquet ready spread for the third act consisting of two pasteboard vases one
plate of biscuits a black bottle and a vinegar cruet and in short
everything was on a scale of the utmost splendour and preparation
Nicholas was standing with his back to the curtain now contemplating the
first scene which was a Gothic archway about two feet shorter than Mr
Crummles through which that gentleman was to make his first entrance and now
listening to a couple of people who were cracking nuts in the gallery wondering
whether they made the whole audience when the manager himself walked familiarly
up and accosted him
»Been in front tonight« said Mr Crummles
»No« replied Nicholas »not yet I am going to see the play«
»Weve had a pretty good Let« said Mr Crummles »Four front places in the
centre and the whole of the stagebox«
»Oh indeed« said Nicholas »a family I suppose«
»Yes« replied Mr Crummles »yes Its an affecting thing There are six
children and they never come unless the phenomenon plays«
It would have been difficult for any party family or otherwise to have
visited the theatre on a night when the phenomenon did not play inasmuch as she
always sustained one and not uncommonly two or three characters every night
but Nicholas sympathising with the feelings of a father refrained from hinting
at this trifling circumstance and Mr Crummles continued to talk uninterrupted
by him
»Six« said that gentleman »Pa and Ma eight aunt nine governess ten
grandfather and grandmother twelve Then theres the footman who stands
outside with a bag of oranges and a jug of toastandwater and sees the play
for nothing through the little pane of glass in the boxdoor its cheap at a
guinea they gain by taking a box«
»I wonder you allow so many« observed Nicholas
»Theres no help for it« replied Mr Crummles »its always expected in the
country If there are six children six people come to hold them in their laps
A familybox carries double always Ring in the orchestra Grudden«
That useful lady did as she was requested and shortly afterwards the tuning
of three fiddles was heard Which process having been protracted as long as it
was supposed that the patience of the audience could possibly bear it was put a
stop to by another jerk of the bell which being the signal to begin in
earnest set the orchestra playing a variety of popular airs with involuntary
variations
If Nicholas had been astonished at the alteration for the better which the
gentlemen displayed the transformation of the ladies was still more
extraordinary When from a snug corner of the managers box he beheld Miss
Snevellicci in all the glories of white muslin with a golden hem and Mrs
Crummles in all the dignity of the outlaws wife and Miss Bravassa in all the
sweetness of Miss Snevelliccis confidential friend and Miss Belvawney in the
white silks of a page doing duty everywhere and swearing to live and die in the
service of everybody he could scarcely contain his admiration which testified
itself in great applause and the closest possible attention to the business of
the scene The plot was most interesting It belonged to no particular age
people or country and was perhaps the more delightful on that account as
nobodys previous information could afford the remotest glimmering of what would
ever come of it An outlaw had been very successful in doing something
somewhere and came home in triumph to the sound of shouts and fiddles to
greet his wife a lady of masculine mind who talked a good deal about her
fathers bones which it seemed were unburied though whether from a peculiar
taste on the part of the old gentleman himself or the reprehensible neglect of
his relations did not appear The outlaws wife was somehow or other mixed up
with a patriarch living in a castle a long way off and this patriarch was the
father of several of the characters but he didnt exactly know which and was
uncertain whether he had brought up the right ones in his castle or the wrong
ones he rather inclined to the latter opinion and being uneasy relieved his
mind with a banquet during which solemnity somebody in a cloak said »Beware«
which somebody was known by nobody except the audience to be the outlaw
himself who had come there for reasons unexplained but possibly with an eye
to the spoons There was an agreeable little surprise in the way of certain love
passages between the desponding captive and Miss Snevellicci and the comic
fightingman and Miss Bravassa besides which Mr Lenville had several very
tragic scenes in the dark while on throatcutting expeditions which were all
baffled by the skill and bravery of the comic fightingman who overheard
whatever was said all through the piece and the intrepidity of Miss
Snevellicci who adopted tights and therein repaired to the prison of her
captive lover with a small basket of refreshments and a dark lantern At last
it came out that the patriarch was the man who had treated the bones of the
outlaws fatherinlaw with so much disrespect for which cause and reason the
outlaws wife repaired to his castle to kill him and so got into a dark room
where after a good deal of groping in the dark everybody got hold of everybody
else and took them for somebody besides which occasioned a vast quantity of
confusion with some pistolling loss of life and torchlight after which the
patriarch came forward and observing with a knowing look that he knew all
about his children now and would tell them when they got inside said that
there could not be a more appropriate occasion for marrying the young people
than that and therefore he joined their hands with the full consent of the
indefatigable page who being the only other person surviving pointed with his
cap into the clouds and his right hand to the ground thereby invoking a
blessing and giving the cue for the curtain to come down which it did amidst
general applause
»What did you think of that« asked Mr Crummles when Nicholas went round
to the stage again Mr Crummles was very red and hot for your outlaws are
desperate fellows to shout
»I think it was very capital indeed« replied Nicholas »Miss Snevellicci in
particular was uncommonly good«
»Shes a genius« said Mr Crummles »quite a genius that girl Bythebye
Ive been thinking of bringing out that piece of yours on her bespeak night«
»When« asked Nicholas
»The night of her bespeak Her benefit night when her friends and patrons
bespeak the play« said Mr Crummles
»Oh I understand« replied Nicholas
»You see« said Mr Crummles »its sure to go on such an occasion and
even if it should not work up quite as well as we expect why it will be her
risk you know and not ours«
»Yours you mean« said Nicholas
»I said mine didnt I« returned Mr Crummles »Next Monday week What do
you say Youll have done it and are sure to be up in the lovers part long
before that time«
»I dont know about long before« replied Nicholas »but by that time I
think I can undertake to be ready«
»Very good« pursued Mr Crummles »then well call that settled Now I
want to ask you something else Theres a little what shall I call it a
little canvassing takes place on these occasions«
»Among the patrons I suppose« said Nicholas
»Among the patrons and the fact is that Snevellicci has had so many
bespeaks in this place that she wants an attraction She had a bespeak when her
motherinlaw died and a bespeak when her uncle died and Mrs Crummles and
myself have had bespeaks on the anniversary of the phenomenon's birthday and
our weddingday and occasions of that description so that in fact theres
some difficulty in getting a good one Now wont you help this poor girl Mr
Johnson« said Crummles sitting himself down on a drum and taking a great
pinch of snuff as he looked him steadily in the face
»How do you mean« rejoined Nicholas
»Dont you think you could spare halfanhour tomorrow morning to call
with her at the houses of one or two of the principal people« murmured the
manager in a persuasive tone
»Oh dear me« said Nicholas with an air of very strong objection »I
shouldnt like to do that«
»The infant will accompany her« said Mr Crummles »The moment it was
suggested to me I gave permission for the infant to go There will not be the
smallest impropriety Miss Snevellicci sir is the very soul of honor It
would be of material service the gentleman from London author of the new
piece actor in the new piece first appearance on any boards it would lead
to a great bespeak Mr Johnson«
»I am very sorry to throw a damp upon the prospects of anybody and more
especially a lady« replied Nicholas »but really I must decidedly object to
making one of the canvassing party«
»What does Mr Johnson say Vincent« inquired a voice close to his ear
and looking round he found Mrs Crummles and Miss Snevellicci herself standing
behind him
»He has some objection my dear« replied Mr Crummles looking at Nicholas
»Objection« exclaimed Mrs Crummles »Can it be possible«
»Oh I hope not« cried Miss Snevellicci »You surely are not so cruel oh
dear me Well I to think of that now after all ones looking forward to
it«
»Mr Johnson will not persist my dear« said Mrs Crummles »Think better
of him than to suppose it Gallantry humanity all the best feelings of his
nature must be enlisted in this interesting cause«
»Which moves even a manager« said Mr Crummles smiling
»And a managers wife« added Mrs Crummles in her accustomed tragedy
tones »Come come you will relent I know you will«
»It is not in my nature« said Nicholas moved by these appeals »to resist
any entreaty unless it is to do something positively wrong and beyond a
feeling of pride I know nothing which should prevent my doing this I know
nobody here and nobody knows me So be it then I yield«
Miss Snevellicci was at once overwhelmed with blushes and expressions of
gratitude of which latter commodity neither Mr nor Mrs Crummles was by any
means sparing It was arranged that Nicholas should call upon her at her
lodgings at eleven next morning and soon after they parted he to return home
to his authorship Miss Snevellicci to dress for the afterpiece and the
disinterested manager and his wife to discuss the probable gains of the
forthcoming bespeak of which they were to have twothirds of the profits by
solemn treaty of agreement.
At the stipulated hour next morning Nicholas repaired to the lodgings of
Miss Snevellicci which were in a place called Lombard Street at the house of a
tailor A strong smell of ironing pervaded the little passage and the tailors
daughter who opened the door appeared in that flutter of spirits which is so
often attendant upon the periodical getting up of a familys linen
»Miss Snevellicci lives here I believe« said Nicholas when the door was
opened
The tailors daughter replied in the affirmative
»Will you have the goodness to let her know that Mr Johnson is here« said
Nicholas
»Oh if you please youre to come up stairs« replied the tailors
daughter with a smile
Nicholas followed the young lady and was shown into a small apartment on
the first floor communicating with a back room in which as he judged from a
certain halfsubdued clinking sound as of cups and saucers Miss Snevellicci
was then taking her breakfast in bed
»Youre to wait if you please« said the tailors daughter after a short
period of absence during which the clinking in the back room had ceased and
had been succeeded by whispering »She wont be long«
As she spoke she pulled up the windowblind and having by this means as
she thought diverted Mr Johnsons attention from the room to the street
caught up some articles which were airing on the fender and had very much the
appearance of stockings and darted off
As there were not many objects of interest outside the window Nicholas
looked about the room with more curiosity than he might otherwise have bestowed
upon it On the sofa lay an old guitar several thumbed pieces of music and a
scattered litter of curlpapers together with a confused heap of playbills
and a pair of soiled white satin shoes with large blue rosettes Hanging over
the back of a chair was a halffinished muslin apron with little pockets
ornamented with red ribbons such as waitingwomen wear on the stage and by
consequence are never seen with anywhere else In one corner stood the
diminutive pair of topboots in which Miss Snevellicci was accustomed to enact
the little jockey and folded on a chair hard by was a small parcel which
bore a very suspicious resemblance to the companion smalls
But the most interesting object of all was perhaps the open scrapbook
displayed in the midst of some theatrical duodecimos that were strewn upon the
table and pasted into which scrapbook were various critical notices of Miss
Snevelliccis acting extracted from different provincial journals together
with one poetic address in her honor commencing
Sing God of Love and tell me in what dearth
Thricegifted SNEVELLICCI came on earth
To thrill us with her smile her tear her eye
Sing God of Love and tell me quickly why
Besides this effusion there were innumerable complimentary allusions also
extracted from newspapers such as »We observe from an advertisement in
another part of our paper of today that the charming and highlytalented Miss
Snevellicci takes her benefit on Wednesday for which occasion she has put forth
a bill of fare that might kindle exhilaration in the breast of a misanthrope In
the confidence that our fellowtownsmen have not lost that high appreciation of
public utility and private worth for which they have long been so preeminently
distinguished we predict that this charming actress will be greeted with a
bumper« »To Correspondents J S is misinformed when he supposes that the
highlygifted and beautiful Miss Snevellicci nightly captivating all hearts at
our pretty and commodious little theatre is not the same lady to whom the young
gentleman of immense fortune residing within a hundred miles of the good city
of York lately made honorable proposals We have reason to know that Miss
Snevellicci is the lady who was implicated in that mysterious and romantic
affair and whose conduct on that occasion did no less honor to her head and
heart than do her histrionic triumphs to her brilliant genius« A copious
assortment of such paragraphs as these with long bills of benefits all ending
with Come Early in large capitals formed the principal contents of Miss
Snevelliccis scrapbook
Nicholas had read a great many of these scraps and was absorbed in a
circumstantial and melancholy account of the train of events which had led to
Miss Snevelliccis spraining her ankle by slipping on a piece of orangepeel
flung by a monster in human form so the paper said upon the stage at
Winchester when that young lady herself attired in the coalscuttle bonnet
and walkingdress complete tripped into the room with a thousand apologies for
having detained him so long after the appointed time
»But really« said Miss Snevellicci »my darling Led who lives with me
here was taken so very ill in the night that I thought she would have expired
in my arms«
»Such a fate is almost to be envied« returned Nicholas »but I am very
sorry to hear it nevertheless«
»What a creature you are to flatter« said Miss Snevellicci buttoning her
glove in much confusion
»If it be flattery to admire your charms and accomplishments« rejoined
Nicholas laying his hand upon the scrapbook »you have better specimens of it
here«
»Oh you cruel creature to read such things as those Im almost ashamed to
look you in the face afterwards positively I am« said Miss Snevellicci
seizing the book and putting it away in a closet »How careless of Led How
could she be so naughty«
»I thought you had kindly left it here on purpose for me to read« said
Nicholas And really it did seem possible
»I wouldnt have had you see it for the world« rejoined Miss Snevellicci
»I never was so vexed never But she is such a careless thing theres no
trusting her«
The conversation was here interrupted by the entrance of the phenomenon, who
had discreetly remained in the bedroom up to this moment and now presented
herself with much grace and lightness bearing in her hand a very little green
parasol with a broad fringe border and no handle After a few words of course
they sallied into the street
The phenomenon was rather a troublesome companion for first the right
sandal came down and then the left and these mischances being repaired one
leg of the little white trousers was discovered to be longer than the other
besides these accidents the green parasol was dropped down an iron grating and
only fished up again with great difficulty and by dint of much exertion
However it was impossible to scold her as she was the managers daughter so
Nicholas took it all in perfect good humour and walked on with Miss
Snevellicci arm in arm on one side and the offending infant on the other
The first house to which they bent their steps was situated in a terrace of
respectable appearance Miss Snevelliccis modest doubleknock was answered by a
footboy who in reply to her inquiry whether Mrs Curdle was at home opened
his eyes very wide grinned very much and said he didnt know but hed
inquire With this he showed them into a parlour where he kept them waiting
until the two womenservants had repaired thither under false pretences to see
the playactors and having compared notes with them in the passage and joined
in a vast quantity of whispering and giggling he at length went up stairs with
Miss Snevelliccis name
Now Mrs Curdle was supposed by those who were best informed on such
points to possess quite the London taste in matters relating to literature and
the drama and as to Mr Curdle he had written a pamphlet of sixtyfour pages
post octavo on the character of the Nurses deceased husband in Romeo and
Juliet with an inquiry whether he really had been a merry man in his lifetime
or whether it was merely his widows affectionate partiality that induced her so
to report him He had likewise proved that by altering the received mode of
punctuation any one of Shakspeares plays could be made quite different and
the sense completely changed it is needless to say therefore that he was a
great critic and a very profound and most original thinker
»Well Miss Snevellicci« said Mrs Curdle entering the parlour »and how
do you do«
Miss Snevellicci made a graceful obeisance and hoped Mrs Curdle was well
as also Mr Curdle who at the same time appeared Mrs Curdle was dressed in a
morning wrapper with a little cap stuck upon the top of her head Mr Curdle
wore a loose robe on his back and his right forefinger on his forehead after
the portraits of Sterne to whom somebody or other had once said he bore a
striking resemblance
»I ventured to call for the purpose of asking whether you would put your
name to my bespeak maam« said Miss Snevellicci producing documents
»Oh I really dont know what to say« replied Mrs Curdle »Its not as if
the theatre was in its high and palmy days you neednt stand Miss Snevellicci
the drama is gone perfectly gone«
»As an exquisite embodiment of the poets visions and a realisation of
human intellectuality gilding with refulgent light our dreamy moments and
laying open a new and magic world before the mental eye the drama is gone
perfectly gone« said Mr Curdle
»What man is there now living who can present before us all those changing
and prismatic colours with which the character of Hamlet is invested« exclaimed
Mrs Curdle
»What man indeed upon the stage« said Mr Curdle with a small
reservation in favour of himself »Hamlet Pooh ridiculous Hamlet is gone
perfectly gone«
Quite overcome by these dismal reflections Mr and Mrs Curdle sighed and
sat for some short time without speaking At length the lady turning to Miss
Snevellicci inquired what play she proposed to have
»Quite a new one« said Miss Snevellicci »of which this gentleman is the
author and in which he plays being his first appearance on any stage Mr
Johnson is the gentlemans name«
»I hope you have preserved the unities sir« said Mr Curdle
»The original piece is a French one« said Nicholas »There is abundance of
incident sprightly dialogue stronglymarked characters «
» All unavailing without a strict observance of the unities sir« returned
Mr Curdle »The unities of the drama before everything«
»Might I ask you« said Nicholas hesitating between the respect he ought to
assume and his love of the whimsical »might I ask you what the unities are«
Mr Curdle coughed and considered »The unities sir« he said »are a
completeness a kind of a universal dovetailedness with regard to place and
time a sort of a general oneness if I may be allowed to use so strong an
expression I take those to be the dramatic unities so far as I have been
enabled to bestow attention upon them and I have read much upon the subject
and thought much I find running through the performances of this child« said
Mr Curdle turning to the phenomenon, »a unity of feeling a breadth a light
and shade a warmth of colouring a tone a harmony a glow an artistical
development of original conceptions, which I look for in vain among older
performers I dont know whether I make myself understood«
»Perfectly« replied Nicholas
»Just so« said Mr Curdle pulling up his neckcloth »That is my definition
of the unities of the drama«
Mrs Curdle had sat listening to this lucid explanation with great
complacency It being finished she inquired what Mr Curdle thought about
putting down their names
»I dont know my dear upon my word I dont know« said Mr Curdle »If we
do it must be distinctly understood that we do not pledge ourselves to the
quality of the performances Let it go forth to the world that we do not give
them the sanction of our names but that we confer the distinction merely upon
Miss Snevellicci That being clearly stated I take it to be as it were a
duty that we should extend our patronage to a degraded stage even for the sake
of the associations with which it is entwined Have you got twoandsixpence for
halfacrown Miss Snevellicci« said Mr Curdle turning over four of those
pieces of money
Miss Snevellicci felt in all the corners of the pink reticule but there was
nothing in any of them Nicholas murmured a jest about his being an author and
thought it best not to go through the form of feeling in his own pockets at all
»Let me see« said Mr Curdle »twice fours eight four shillings apiece
to the boxes Miss Snevellicci is exceedingly dear in the present state of the
drama three halfcrowns is sevenandsix we shall not differ about sixpence
I suppose Sixpence will not part us Miss Snevellicci«
Poor Miss Snevellicci took the three halfcrowns with many smiles and
bends and Mrs Curdle adding several supplementary directions relative to
keeping the places for them and dusting the seat and sending two clean bills
as soon as they came out rang the bell as a signal for breaking up the
conference
»Odd people those« said Nicholas when they got clear of the house
»I assure you« said Miss Snevellicci taking his arm »that I think myself
very lucky they did not owe all the money instead of being sixpence short Now
if you were to succeed they would give people to understand that they had
always patronised you and if you were to fail they would have been quite
certain of that from the very beginning«
At the next house they visited they were in great glory for there resided
the six children who were so enraptured with the public actions of the
phenomenon, and who being called down from the nursery to be treated with a
private view of that young lady proceeded to poke their fingers into her eyes
and tread upon her toes and show her many other little attentions peculiar to
their time of life
»I shall certainly persuade Mr Borum to take a private box« said the lady
of the house after a most gracious reception »I shall only take two of the
children and will make up the rest of the party of gentlemen your admirers
Miss Snevellicci Augustus you naughty boy leave the little girl alone«
This was addressed to a young gentleman who was pinching the phenomenon
behind apparently with a view of ascertaining whether she was real
»I am sure you must be very tired« said the mama turning to Miss
Snevellicci »I cannot think of allowing you to go without first taking a glass
of wine Fie Charlotte I am ashamed of you Miss Lane my dear pray see to
the children«
Miss Lane was the governess and this entreaty was rendered necessary by the
abrupt behaviour of the youngest Miss Borum who having filched the
phenomenon's little green parasol was now carrying it bodily off while the
distracted infant looked helplessly on
»I am sure where you ever learnt to act as you do« said goodnatured Mrs
Borum turning again to Miss Snevellicci »I cannot understand Emma dont
stare so laughing in one piece and crying in the next and so natural in all
oh dear«
»I am very happy to hear you express so favourable an opinion« said Miss
Snevellicci »Its quite delightful to think you like it«
»Like it« cried Mrs Borum »Who can help liking it I would go to the
play twice a week if I could I dote upon it Only youre too affecting
sometimes You do put me in such a state into such fits of crying Goodness
gracious me Miss Lane how can you let them torment that poor child so«
The phenomenon was really in a fair way of being torn limb from limb for
two strong little boys one holding on by each of her hands were dragging her
in different directions as a trial of strength However Miss Lane who had
herself been too much occupied in contemplating the grownup actors to pay the
necessary attention to these proceedings rescued the unhappy infant at this
juncture who being recruited with a glass of wine was shortly afterwards
taken away by her friends after sustaining no more serious damage than a
flattening of the pink gauze bonnet and a rather extensive creasing of the
white frock and trousers
It was a trying morning for there were a great many calls to make and
everybody wanted a different thing Some wanted tragedies and others comedies
some objected to dancing some wanted scarcely anything else Some thought the
comic singer decidedly low and others hoped he would have more to do than he
usually had Some people wouldnt promise to go because other people wouldnt
promise to go and other people wouldnt go at all because other people went
At length and by little and little omitting something in this place and
adding something in that Miss Snevellicci pledged herself to a bill of fare
which was comprehensive enough if it had no other merit it included among
other trifles four pieces divers songs a few combats and several dances
and they returned home pretty well exhausted with the business of the day
Nicholas worked away at the piece which was speedily put into rehearsal
and then worked away at his own part which he studied with great perseverance
and acted as the whole company said to perfection And at length the great
day arrived The crier was sent round in the morning to proclaim the
entertainments with sound of bells in all the thoroughfares and extra bills of
three feet long by nine inches wide were dispersed in all directions flung
down all the areas thrust under all the knockers and developed in all the
shops They were placarded on all the walls too though not with complete
success for an illiterate person having undertaken this office during the
indisposition of the regular billsticker a part were posted sideways and the
remainder upside down
At halfpast five there was a rush of four people to the gallerydoor at a
quarter before six there were at least a dozen at six oclock the kicks were
terrific and when the elder Master Crummles opened the door he was obliged to
run behind it for his life Fifteen shillings were taken by Mrs Grudden in the
first ten minutes
Behind the scenes the same unwonted excitement prevailed Miss Snevellicci
was in such a perspiration that the paint would scarcely stay on her face Mrs
Crummles was so nervous that she could hardly remember her part Miss Bravassas
ringlets came out of curl with the heat and anxiety even Mr Crummles himself
kept peeping through the hole in the curtain and running back every now and
then to announce that another man had come into the pit
At last the orchestra left off and the curtain rose upon the new piece
The first scene in which there was nobody particular passed off calmly enough
but when Miss Snevellicci went on in the second accompanied by the phenomenon
as child what a roar of applause broke out The people in the Borum box rose as
one man waving their hats and handkerchiefs and uttering shouts of »Bravo«
Mrs Borum and the governess cast wreaths upon the stage of which some
fluttered into the lamps and one crowned the temples of a fat gentleman in the
pit who looking eagerly towards the scene remained unconscious of the honor
the tailor and his family kicked at the panels of the upper boxes till they
threatened to come out altogether the very gingerbeer boy remained transfixed
in the centre of the house a young officer supposed to entertain a passion for
Miss Snevellicci stuck his glass in his eye as though to hide a tear Again and
again Miss Snevellicci curtseyed lower and lower and again and again the
applause came down louder and louder At length when the phenomenon picked up
one of the smoking wreaths and put it on sideways over Miss Snevelliccis eye
it reached its climax and the play proceeded
But when Nicholas came on for his crack scene with Mrs Crummles what a
clapping of hands there was When Mrs Crummles who was his unworthy mother
sneered and called him presumptuous boy and he defied her what a tumult of
applause came on When he quarrelled with the other gentleman about the young
lady and producing a case of pistols said that if he was a gentleman he
would fight him in that drawingroom until the furniture was sprinkled with the
blood of one if not of two how boxes pit and gallery joined in one most
vigorous cheer When he called his mother names because she wouldnt give up
the young ladys property and she relenting caused him to relent likewise and
fall down on one knee and ask her blessing how the ladies in the audience
sobbed When he was hid behind the curtain in the dark and the wicked relation
poked a sharp sword in every direction save where his legs were plainly
visible what a thrill of anxious fear ran through the house His air his
figure his walk his look everything he said or did was the subject of
commendation There was a round of applause every time he spoke And when at
last in the pumpandtub scene Mrs Grudden lighted the blue fire and all the
unemployed members of the company came in and tumbled down in various
directions not because that had anything to do with the plot but in order to
finish off with a tableau the audience who had by this time increased
considerably gave vent to such a shout of enthusiasm as had not been heard in
those walls for many and many a day
In short the success both of new piece and new actor was complete and when
Miss Snevellicci was called for at the end of the play Nicholas led her on and
divided the applause
Chapter XXV
Concerning a Young Lady from London who Joins the Company and an Elderly
Admirer who Follows in Her Train with an Affecting Ceremony Consequent on Their
Arrival
The new piece being a decided hit was announced for every evening of
performance until further notice and the evenings when the theatre was closed
were reduced from three in the week to two Nor were these the only tokens of
extraordinary success for on the succeeding Saturday Nicholas received by
favour of the indefatigable Mrs Grudden no less a sum than thirty shillings
besides which substantial reward he enjoyed considerable fame and honor having
a presentation copy of Mr Curdles pamphlet forwarded to the theatre with that
gentlemans own autograph in itself an inestimable treasure on the flyleaf
accompanied with a note containing many expressions of approval and an
unsolicited assurance that Mr Curdle would be very happy to read Shakspeare to
him for three hours every morning before breakfast during his stay in the town
»Ive got another novelty Johnson« said Mr Crummles one morning in great
glee
»Whats that« rejoined Nicholas »The pony«
»No no we never come to the pony till everything else has failed« said
Mr Crummles »I dont think we shall come to the pony at all this season No
no not the pony«
»A boy phenomenon perhaps« suggested Nicholas
»There is only one phenomenon sir« replied Mr Crummles impressively »and
thats a girl«
»Very true« said Nicholas »I beg your pardon Then I dont know what it
is I am sure«
»What should you say to a young lady from London« inquired Mr Crummles
»Miss Soandso of the Theatre Royal Drury Lane«
»I should say she would look very well in the bills« said Nicholas
»Youre about right there« said Mr Crummles »and if you had said she
would look very well upon the stage too you wouldnt have been far out Look
here what do you think of this«
With this inquiry Mr Crummles unfolded a red poster and a blue poster and
a yellow poster at the top of each of which public notification was inscribed
in enormous characters »First appearance of the unrivalled Miss Petowker of the
Theatre Royal Drury Lane«
»Dear me« said Nicholas »I know that lady«
»Then you are acquainted with as much talent as was ever compressed into one
young persons body« retorted Mr Crummles rolling up the bills again »that
is talent of a certain sort of a certain sort The Blood Drinker« added Mr
Crummles with a prophetic sigh »The Blood Drinker will die with that girl and
shes the only sylph I ever saw who could stand upon one leg and play the
tambourine on her other knee like a sylph«
»When does she come down« asked Nicholas
»We expect her today« replied Mr Crummles »She is an old friend of Mrs
Crummless Mrs Crummles saw what she could do always knew it from the first
She taught her indeed nearly all she knows Mrs Crummles was the original
Blood Drinker«
»Was she indeed«
»Yes She was obliged to give it up though«
»Did it disagree with her« asked Nicholas
»Not so much with her as with her audiences« replied Mr Crummles »Nobody
could stand it It was too tremendous You dont quite know what Mrs Crummles
is yet«
Nicholas ventured to insinuate that he thought he did
»No no you dont« said Mr Crummles »you dont indeed I dont and
thats a fact I dont think her country will till she is dead Some new proof
of talent bursts from that astonishing woman every year of her life Look at
her mother of six children three of em alive and all upon the stage«
»Extraordinary« cried Nicholas
»Ah extraordinary indeed« rejoined Mr Crummles taking a complacent pinch
of snuff and shaking his head gravely »I pledge you my professional word I
didnt even know she could dance till her last benefit and then she played
Juliet and Helen Macgregor and did the skippingrope hornpipe between the
pieces The very first time I saw that admirable woman Johnson« said Mr
Crummles drawing a little nearer and speaking in the tone of confidential
friendship »she stood upon her head on the buttend of a spear surrounded with
blazing fireworks«
»You astonish me« said Nicholas
»She astonished me« returned Mr Crummles with a very serious countenance
»Such grace coupled with such dignity I adored her from that moment«
The arrival of the gifted subject of these remarks put an abrupt termination
to Mr Crummless eulogium Almost immediately afterwards Master Percy Crummles
entered with a letter which had arrived by the General Post and was directed
to his gracious mother at sight of the superscription whereof Mrs Crummles
exclaimed »From Henrietta Petowker I do declare« and instantly became
absorbed in the contents
»Is it « inquired Mr Crummles hesitating
»Oh yes its all right« replied Mrs Crummles anticipating the question
»What an excellent thing for her to be sure«
»Its the best thing altogether that I ever heard of I think« said Mr
Crummles and then Mr Crummles Mrs Crummles and Master Percy Crummles all
fell to laughing violently Nicholas left them to enjoy their mirth together
and walked to his lodgings wondering very much what mystery connected with Miss
Petowker could provoke such merriment and pondering still more on the extreme
surprise with which that lady would regard his sudden enlistment in a profession
of which she was such a distinguished and brilliant ornament
But in this latter respect he was mistaken for whether Mr Vincent
Crummles had paved the way or Miss Petowker had some special reason for
treating him with even more than her usual amiability their meeting at the
theatre next day was more like that of two dear friends who had been inseparable
from infancy than a recognition passing between a lady and gentleman who had
only met some half dozen times and then by mere chance Nay Miss Petowker even
whispered that she had wholly dropped the Kenwigses in her conversations with
the managers family and had represented herself as having encountered Mr
Johnson in the very first and most fashionable circles and on Nicholas
receiving this intelligence with unfeigned surprise she added with a sweet
glance that she had a claim on his good nature now and might tax it before
long
Nicholas had the honor of playing in a slight piece with Miss Petowker that
night and could not but observe that the warmth of her reception was mainly
attributable to a most persevering umbrella in the upper boxes he saw too
that the enchanting actress cast many sweet looks towards the quarter whence
these sounds proceeded and that every time she did so the umbrella broke out
afresh Once he thought that a peculiarly shaped hat in the same corner was not
wholly unknown to him but being occupied with his share of the stage business
he bestowed no great attention upon this circumstance and it had quite vanished
from his memory by the time he reached home
He had just sat down to supper with Smike when one of the people of the
house came outside the door and announced that a gentleman below stairs wished
to speak to Mr Johnson
»Well if he does you must tell him to come up thats all I know« replied
Nicholas »One of our hungry brethren I suppose Smike«
His fellowlodger looked at the cold meat in silent calculation of the
quantity that would be left for dinner next day and put back a slice he had cut
for himself in order that the visitors encroachments might be less formidable
in their effects
»It is not anybody who has been here before« said Nicholas »for he is
tumbling up every stair Come in come in In the name of wonder Mr
Lillyvick«
It was indeed the collector of waterrates who regarding Nicholas with a
fixed look and immoveable countenance shook hands with most portentous
solemnity and sat himself down in a seat by the chimneycorner
»Why when did you come here« asked Nicholas
»This morning sir« replied Mr Lillyvick
»Oh I see then you were at the theatre tonight and it was your umb«
»This umbrella« said Mr Lillyvick producing a fat green cotton one with a
battered ferrule »What did you think of that performance«
»So far as I could judge being on the stage« replied Nicholas »I thought
it very agreeable«
»Agreeable« cried the collector »I mean to say sir that it was
delicious«
Mr Lillyvick bent forward to pronounce the last word with greater emphasis
and having done so drew himself up and frowned and nodded a great many times
»I say delicious« repeated Mr Lillyvick »Absorbing fairylike
toomultuous« and again Mr Lillyvick drew himself up and again he frowned and
nodded
»Ah« said Nicholas a little surprised at these symptoms of ecstatic
approbation »Yes she is a clever girl«
»She is a divinity« returned Mr Lillyvick giving a collectors double
knock on the ground with the umbrella beforementioned »I have known divine
actresses before now sir I used to collect at least I used to call for and
very often call for the waterrate at the house of a divine actress who lived
in my beat for upwards of four year but never no never sir of all divine
creatures actresses or no actresses did I see a diviner one than is Henrietta
Petowker«
Nicholas had much ado to prevent himself from laughing not trusting himself
to speak he merely nodded in accordance with Mr Lillyvicks nods and remained
silent
»Let me speak a word with you in private« said Mr Lillyvick
Nicholas looked goodhumouredly at Smike who taking the hint disappeared
»A bachelor is a miserable wretch sir« said Mr Lillyvick
»Is he« asked Nicholas
»He is« rejoined the collector »I have lived in the world for nigh sixty
year and I ought to know what it is«
»You ought to know certainly« thought Nicholas »but whether you do or
not is another question«
»If a bachelor happens to have saved a little matter of money« said Mr
Lillyvick »his sisters and brothers and nephews and nieces look to that
money and not to him even if by being a public character he is the head of
the family or as it may be the main from which all the other little branches
are turned on they still wish him dead all the while and get lowspirited
every time they see him looking in good health because they want to come into
his little property You see that«
»Oh yes« replied Nicholas »its very true no doubt«
»The great reason for not being married« resumed Mr Lillyvick »is the
expense thats whats kept me off or else Lord« said Mr Lillyvick
snapping his fingers »I might have had fifty women«
»Fine women« asked Nicholas
»Fine women sir« replied the collector »aye not so fine as Henrietta
Petowker for she is an uncommon specimen but such women as dont fall into
every mans way I can tell you Now suppose a man can get a fortune in a wife
instead of with her eh«
»Why then hes a lucky fellow« replied Nicholas
»Thats what I say« retorted the collector patting him benignantly on the
side of the head with his umbrella »just what I say Henrietta Petowker the
talented Henrietta Petowker has a fortune in herself and I am going to «
»To make her Mrs Lillyvick« suggested Nicholas
»No sir not to make her Mrs Lillyvick« replied the collector
»Actresses sir always keep their maiden names thats the regular thing but
Im going to marry her and the day after tomorrow too«
»I congratulate you sir« said Nicholas
»Thank you sir« replied the collector buttoning his waistcoat »I shall
draw her salary of course and I hope after all that its nearly as cheap to
keep two as it is to keep one thats a consolation«
»Surely you dont want any consolation at such a moment« observed Nicholas
»No« replied Mr Lillyvick shaking his head nervously »no of course
not«
»But how come you both here if youre going to be married Mr Lillyvick«
asked Nicholas
»Why thats what I came to explain to you« replied the collector of
waterrate »The fact is we have thought it best to keep it secret from the
family«
»Family« said Nicholas »What family«
»The Kenwigses of course« rejoined Mr Lillyvick »If my niece and the
children had known a word about it before I came away theyd have gone into
fits at my feet and never have come out of em till I took an oath not to marry
anybody Or theyd have got out a commission of lunacy or some dreadful thing«
said the collector quite trembling as he spoke
»To be sure« said Nicholas »Yes they would have been jealous no doubt«
»To prevent which« said Mr Lillyvick »Henrietta Petowker it was settled
between us should come down here to her friends the Crummleses under pretence
of this engagement and I should go down to Guildford the day before and join
her on the coach there which I did and we came down from Guildford yesterday
together Now for fear you should be writing to Mr Noggs and might say
anything about us we have thought it best to let you into the secret We shall
be married from the Crummleses lodgings and shall be delighted to see you
either before church or at breakfasttime which you like It wont be
expensive you know« said the collector highly anxious to prevent any
misunderstanding on this point »just muffins and coffee with perhaps a shrimp
or something of that sort for a relish you know«
»Yes yes I understand« replied Nicholas »Oh I shall be most happy to
come it will give me the greatest pleasure Wheres the lady stopping With
Mrs Crummles«
»Why no« said the collector »they couldnt very well dispose of her at
night and so she is staying with an acquaintance of hers and another young
lady they both belong to the theatre«
»Miss Snevellicci I suppose« said Nicholas
»Yes thats the name«
»And theyll be bridesmaids I presume« said Nicholas
»Why« said the collector with a rueful face »they will have four
bridesmaids Im afraid theyll make it rather theatrical«
»Oh no not at all« replied Nicholas with an awkward attempt to convert a
laugh into a cough »Who may the four be Miss Snevellicci of course Miss
Ledrook «
»The the phenomenon,« groaned the collector
»Ha ha« cried Nicholas »I beg your pardon I dont know what Im laughing
at yes thatll be very pretty the phenomenon who else«
»Some young woman or other« replied the collector rising »some other
friend of Henrietta Petowkers Well youll be careful not to say anything
about it will you«
»You may safely depend upon me« replied Nicholas »Wont you take anything
to eat or drink«
»No« said the collector »I havent any appetite I should think it was a
very pleasant life the married one eh«
»I have not the least doubt of it« rejoined Nicholas
»Yes« said the collector »certainly Oh yes No doubt Good night«
With these words Mr Lillyvick whose manner had exhibited through the
whole of this interview a most extraordinary compound of precipitation
hesitation confidence and doubt fondness misgiving meanness and
selfimportance turned his back upon the room and left Nicholas to enjoy a
laugh by himself if he felt so disposed
Without stopping to inquire whether the intervening day appeared to Nicholas
to consist of the usual number of hours of the ordinary length it may be
remarked that to the parties more directly interested in the forthcoming
ceremony it passed with great rapidity insomuch that when Miss Petowker awoke
on the succeeding morning in the chamber of Miss Snevellicci she declared that
nothing should ever persuade her that that really was the day which was to
behold a change in her condition
»I never will believe it« said Miss Petowker »I cannot really Its of no
use talking I never can make up my mind to go through with such a trial«
On hearing this Miss Snevellicci and Miss Ledrook who knew perfectly well
that their fair friends mind had been made up for three or four years at any
period of which time she would have cheerfully undergone the desperate trial now
approaching if she could have found any eligible gentleman disposed for the
venture began to preach comfort and firmness and to say how very proud she
ought to feel that it was in her power to confer lasting bliss on a deserving
object and how necessary it was for the happiness of mankind in general that
women should possess fortitude and resignation on such occasions and that
although for their parts they held true happiness to consist in a single life
which they would not willingly exchange no not for any worldly consideration
still thank Heaven if ever the time should come they hoped they knew their
duty too well to repine but would the rather submit with meekness and humility
of spirit to a fate for which Providence had clearly designed them with a view
to the contentment and reward of their fellowcreatures
»I might feel it was a great blow« said Miss Snevellicci »to break up old
associations and whatdoyoucallems of that kind but I would submit my dear
I would indeed«
»So would I« said Miss Ledrook »I would rather court the yoke than shun
it I have broken hearts before now and Im very sorry for it Its a terrible
thing to reflect upon«
»It is indeed« said Miss Snevellicci »Now Led my dear we must positively
get her ready or we shall be too late we shall indeed«
This pious reasoning and perhaps the fear of being too late supported the
bride through the ceremony of robing after which strong tea and brandy were
administered in alternate doses as a means of strengthening her feeble limbs and
causing her to walk steadier
»How do you feel now my love« inquired Miss Snevellicci
»Oh Lillyvick« cried the bride »If you knew what I am undergoing for you«
»Of course he knows it love and will never forget it« said Miss Ledrook
»Do you think he wont« cried Miss Petowker really showing great
capability for the stage »Oh do you think he wont Do you think Lillyvick
will always remember it always always always«
There is no knowing in what this burst of feeling might have ended if Miss
Snevellicci had not at that moment proclaimed the arrival of the fly which so
astounded the bride that she shook off divers alarming symptoms which were
coming on very strong and running to the glass adjusted her dress and calmly
declared that she was ready for the sacrifice
She was accordingly supported into the coach and there kept up as Miss
Snevellicci said with perpetual sniffs of sal volatile and sips of brandy and
other gentle stimulants until they reached the managers door which was
already opened by the two Master Crummleses who wore white cockades and were
decorated with the choicest and most resplendent waistcoats in the theatrical
wardrobe By the combined exertions of these young gentlemen and the
bridesmaids assisted by the coachman Miss Petowker was at length supported in
a condition of much exhaustion to the first floor where she no sooner
encountered the youthful bridegroom than she fainted with great decorum
»Henrietta Petowker« said the collector »cheer up my lovely one«
Miss Petowker grasped the collectors hand but emotion choked her
utterance
»Is the sight of me so dreadful Henrietta Petowker« said the collector
»Oh no no no« rejoined the bride »but all the friends the darling
friends of my youthful days to leave them all it is such a shock«
With such expressions of sorrow Miss Petowker went on to enumerate the dear
friends of her youthful days one by one and to call upon such of them as were
present to come and embrace her This done she remembered that Mrs Crummles
had been more than a mother to her and after that that Mr Crummles had been
more than a father to her and after that that the Master Crummleses and Miss
Ninetta Crummles had been more than brothers and sisters to her These various
remembrances being each accompanied with a series of hugs occupied a long time
and they were obliged to drive to church very fast for fear they should be too
late
The procession consisted of two flys in the first of which were Miss
Bravassa the fourth bridesmaid Mrs Crummles the collector and Mr Folair
who had been chosen as his second on the occasion In the other were the bride
Mr Crummles Miss Snevellicci Miss Ledrook and the phenomenon. The costumes
were beautiful The bridesmaids were quite covered with artificial flowers and
the phenomenon, in particular was rendered almost invisible by the portable
arbour in which she was enshrined Miss Ledrook who was of a romantic turn
wore in her breast the miniature of some fieldofficer unknown which she had
purchased a great bargain not very long before the other ladies displayed
several dazzling articles of imitative jewellery almost equal to real and Mrs
Crummles came out in a stern and gloomy majesty which attracted the admiration
of all beholders
But perhaps the appearance of Mr Crummles was more striking and
appropriate than that of any member of the party This gentleman who personated
the brides father had in pursuance of a happy and original conception made
up for the part by arraying himself in a theatrical wig of a style and pattern
commonly known as a brown George and moreover assuming a snuffcoloured suit
of the previous century with grey silk stockings and buckles to his shoes The
better to support his assumed character he had determined to be greatly
overcome and, consequently, when they entered the church the sobs of the
affectionate parent were so heartrending that the pewopener suggested the
propriety of his retiring to the vestry and comforting himself with a glass of
water before the ceremony began
The procession up the aisle was beautiful The bride with the four
bridesmaids forming a group previously arranged and rehearsed the collector
followed by his second imitating his walk and gestures to the indescribable
amusement of some theatrical friends in the gallery Mr Crummles with an
infirm and feeble gait Mrs Crummles advancing with that stage walk which
consists of a stride and a stop alternately it was the completest thing ever
witnessed The ceremony was very quickly disposed of and all parties present
having signed the register for which purpose when it came to his turn Mr
Crummles carefully wiped and put on an immense pair of spectacles they went
back to breakfast in high spirits And here they found Nicholas awaiting their
arrival
»Now then« said Crummles who had been assisting Mrs Grudden in the
preparations which were on a more extensive scale than was quite agreeable to
the collector »Breakfast breakfast«
No second invitation was required The company crowded and squeezed
themselves at the table as well as they could and fell to immediately Miss
Petowker blushing very much when anybody was looking and eating very much when
anybody was not looking and Mr Lillyvick going to work as though with the cool
resolve that since the good things must be paid for by him he would leave as
little as possible for the Crummleses to eat up afterwards
»Its very soon done sir isnt it« inquired Mr Folair of the collector
leaning over the table to address him
»What is soon done sir« returned Mr Lillyvick
»The tying up the fixing oneself with a wife« replied Mr Folair »It
dont take long does it«
»No sir« replied Mr Lillyvick colouring »It does not take long And
what then sir«
»Oh nothing« said the actor »It dont take a man long to hang himself
either eh Ha ha«
Mr Lillyvick laid down his knife and fork and looked round the table with
indignant astonishment
»To hang himself« repeated Mr Lillyvick
A profound silence came upon all for Mr Lillyvick was dignified beyond
expression
»To hang himself« cried Mr Lillyvick again »Is any parallel attempted to
be drawn in this company between matrimony and hanging«
»The noose you know« said Mr Folair a little crestfallen
»The noose sir« retorted Mr Lillyvick »Does any man dare to speak to me
of a noose and Henrietta Pe«
»Lillyvick« suggested Mr Crummles
» and Henrietta Lillyvick in the same breath« said the collector »In this
house in the presence of Mr and Mrs Crummles who have brought up a talented
and virtuous family to be blessings and phenomenons and what not are we to
hear talk of nooses«
»Folair« said Mr Crummles deeming it a matter of decency to be affected
by this allusion to himself and partner »Im astonished at you«
»What are you going on in this way at me for« urged the unfortunate actor
»What have I done«
»Done sir« cried Mr Lillyvick »aimed a blow at the whole framework of
society «
»And the best and tenderest feelings« added Crummles relapsing into the
old man
»And the highest and most estimable of social ties« said the collector
»Noose As if one was caught trapped into the married state pinned by the
leg instead of going into it of ones own accord and glorying in the act«
»I didnt mean to make it out that you were caught and trapped and pinned
by the leg« replied the actor »Im sorry for it I cant say any more«
»So you ought to be sir« returned Mr Lillyvick »and I am glad to hear
that you have enough of feeling left to be so«
The quarrel appearing to terminate with this reply Mrs Lillyvick
considered that the fittest occasion the attention of the company being no
longer distracted to burst into tears and require the assistance of all four
bridesmaids which was immediately rendered though not without some confusion
for the room being small and the tablecloth long a whole detachment of plates
were swept off the board at the very first move Regardless of this
circumstance however Mrs Lillyvick refused to be comforted until the
belligerents had passed their words that the dispute should be carried no
further which after a sufficient show of reluctance they did and from that
time Mr Folair sat in moody silence contenting himself with pinching
Nicholass leg when anything was said and so expressing his contempt both for
the speaker and the sentiments to which he gave utterance
There were a great number of speeches made some by Nicholas and some by
Crummles and some by the collector two by the master Crummleses in returning
thanks for themselves and one by the phenomenon on behalf of the bridesmaids
at which Mrs Crummles shed tears There was some singing too from Miss
Ledrook and Miss Bravassa and very likely there might have been more if the
flydriver who stopped to drive the happy pair to the spot where they proposed
to take steamboat to Ryde had not sent in a peremptory message intimating
that if they didnt come directly he should infallibly demand eighteenpence
over and above his agreement
This desperate threat effectually broke up the party After a most pathetic
leavetaking Mr Lillyvick and his bride departed for Ryde where they were to
spend the next two days in profound retirement and whither they were
accompanied by the infant who had been appointed travelling bridesmaid on Mr
Lillyvicks express stipulation as the steamboat people deceived by her size
would he had previously ascertained transport her at halfprice
As there was no performance that night Mr Crummles declared his intention
of keeping it up till everything to drink was disposed of but Nicholas having
to play Romeo for the first time on the ensuing evening contrived to slip away
in the midst of a temporary confusion occasioned by the unexpected development
of strong symptoms of inebriety in the conduct of Mrs Grudden
To this act of desertion he was led not only by his own inclinations but
by his anxiety on account of Smike who having to sustain the character of the
Apothecary had been as yet wholly unable to get any more of the part into his
head than the general idea that he was very hungry which perhaps from old
recollections he had acquired with great aptitude
»I dont know whats to be done Smike« said Nicholas laying down the
book »I am afraid you cant learn it my poor fellow«
»I am afraid not« said Smike shaking his head »I think if you but that
would give you so much trouble«
»What« inquired Nicholas »Never mind me«
»I think« said Smike »if you were to keep saying it to me in little bits
over and over again I should be able to recollect it from hearing you«
»Do you think so« exclaimed Nicholas »Well said Let us see who tires
first Not I Smike trust me Now then Who calls so loud«
»Who calls so loud« said Smike
»Who calls so loud« repeated Nicholas
»Who calls so loud« cried Smike
Thus they continued to ask each other who called so loud over and over
again and when Smike had that by heart Nicholas went to another sentence and
then to two at a time and then to three and so on until at midnight poor
Smike found to his unspeakable joy that he really began to remember something
about the text
Early in the morning they went to it again and Smike rendered more
confident by the progress he had already made got on faster and with better
heart As soon as he began to acquire the words pretty freely Nicholas showed
him how he must come in with both hands spread out upon his stomach and how he
must occasionally rub it in compliance with the established form by which
people on the stage always denote that they want something to eat After the
mornings rehearsal they went to work again nor did they stop except for a
hasty dinner until it was time to repair to the theatre at night
Never had master a more anxious humble docile pupil Never had pupil a
more patient unwearying considerate kindhearted master
As soon as they were dressed and at every interval when he was not upon the
stage Nicholas renewed his instructions They prospered well The Romeo was
received with hearty plaudits and unbounded favour and Smike was pronounced
unanimously alike by audience and actors the very prince and prodigy of
Apothecaries
Chapter XXVI
Is Fraught with Some Danger to Miss Nicklebys Peace of Mind
The place was a handsome suit of private apartments in Regent Street the time
was three oclock in the afternoon to the dull and plodding and the first hour
of morning to the gay and spirited the persons were Lord Frederick Verisopht
and his friend Sir Mulberry Hawk
These distinguished gentlemen were reclining listlessly on a couple of
sofas with a table between them on which were scattered in rich confusion the
materials of an untasted breakfast Newspapers lay strewn about the room but
these like the meal were neglected and unnoticed not however because any
flow of conversation prevented the attractions of the journals from being called
into request for not a word was exchanged between the two nor was any sound
uttered save when one in tossing about to find an easier restingplace for his
aching head uttered an exclamation of impatience and seemed for the moment to
communicate a new restlessness to his companion
These appearances would in themselves have furnished a pretty strong clue to
the extent of the debauch of the previous night even if there had not been
other indications of the amusements in which it had been passed A couple of
billiard balls all mud and dirt two battered hats a champagne bottle with a
soiled glove twisted round the neck to allow of its being grasped more surely
in its capacity of an offensive weapon a broken cane a cardcase without the
top an empty purse a watchguard snapped asunder a handful of silver mingled
with fragments of halfsmoked cigars and their stale and crumbled ashes these
and many other tokens of riot and disorder hinted very intelligibly at the
nature of last nights gentlemanly frolics
Lord Frederick Verisopht was the first to speak Dropping his slippered foot
on the ground and yawning heavily he struggled into a sitting posture and
turned his dull languid eyes towards his friend to whom he called in a drowsy
voice
»Hallo« replied Sir Mulberry turning round
»Are we going to lie here all daay« said the lord
»I dont know that were fit for anything else« replied Sir Mulberry »yet
awhile at least I havent a grain of life in me this morning«
»Life« cried Lord Frederick »I feel as if there would be nothing so snug
and comfortable as to die at once«
»Then why dont you die« said Sir Mulberry
With which inquiry he turned his face away and seemed to occupy himself in
an attempt to fall asleep
His hopeful friend and pupil drew a chair to the breakfasttable and
essayed to eat but finding that impossible lounged to the window then
loitered up and down the room with his hand to his fevered head and finally
threw himself again on his sofa and roused his friend once more
»What the devils the matter« groaned Sir Mulberry sitting upright on the
couch
Although Sir Mulberry said this with sufficient illhumour he did not seem
to feel himself quite at liberty to remain silent for after stretching himself
very often and declaring with a shiver that it was infernal cold he made an
experiment at the breakfasttable and proving more successful in it than his
lessseasoned friend remained there
»Suppose« said Sir Mulberry pausing with a morsel on the point of his
fork »Suppose we go back to the subject of little Nickleby eh«
»Which little Nickleby the moneylender or the gaal« asked Lord
Frederick
»You take me I see« replied Sir Mulberry »The girl of course«
»You promised me youd find her out« said Lord Frederick
»So I did« rejoined his friend »but I have thought further of the matter
since then You distrust me in the business you shall find her out yourself«
»Naay« remonstrated the other
»But I say yes« returned his friend »You shall find her out yourself
Dont think that I mean when you can I know as well as you that if I did you
could never get sight of her without me No I say you shall find her out
shall and Ill put you in the way«
»Now curse me if you aint a real deyvlish downright thoroughpaced
friend« said the young lord on whom this speech had produced a most reviving
effect
»Ill tell you how« said Sir Mulberry »She was at that dinner as a bait
for you«
»No« cried the young lord »What the dey «
»As a bait for you« repeated his friend »old Nickleby told me so himself«
»What a fine old cock it is« exclaimed Lord Frederick »a noble rascal«
»Yes« said Sir Mulberry »he knew she was a smart little creature «
»Smart« interposed the young lord »Upon my soul Hawk shes a perfect
beauty a a picture a statue a a upon my soul she is«
»Well« replied Sir Mulberry shrugging his shoulders and manifesting an
indifference whether he felt it or not »thats a matter of taste if mine
doesnt agree with yours so much the better«
»Confound it« reasoned the lord »you were thick enough with her that day
anyhow I could hardly get in a word«
»Well enough for once well enough for once« replied Sir Mulberry »but not
worth the trouble of being agreeable to again If you seriously want to follow
up the niece tell the uncle that you must know where she lives and how she
lives and with whom or you are no longer a customer of his Hell tell you
fast enough«
»Why didnt you say this before« asked Lord Frederick »instead of letting
me go on burning consuming dragging out a miserable existence for an aage«
»I didnt know it in the first place« answered Sir Mulberry carelessly
»and in the second I didnt believe you were so very much in earnest«
Now the truth was that in the interval which had elapsed since the dinner
at Ralph Nicklebys Sir Mulberry Hawk had been furtively trying by every means
in his power to discover whence Kate had so suddenly appeared and whither she
had disappeared Unassisted by Ralph however with whom he had held no
communication since their angry parting on that occasion all his efforts were
wholly unavailing and he had therefore arrived at the determination of
communicating to the young lord the substance of the admission he had gleaned
from that worthy To this he was impelled by various considerations among which
the certainty of knowing whatever the weak young man knew was decidedly not the
least as the desire of encountering the usurers niece again and using his
utmost arts to reduce her pride and revenge himself for her contempt was
uppermost in his thoughts It was a politic course of proceeding and one which
could not fail to redound to his advantage in every point of view since the
very circumstance of his having extorted from Ralph Nickleby his real design in
introducing his niece to such society coupled with his extreme
disinterestedness in communicating it so freely to his friend could not but
advance his interests in that quarter and greatly facilitate the passage of
coin pretty frequent and speedy already from the pockets of Lord Frederick
Verisopht to those of Sir Mulberry Hawk
Thus reasoned Sir Mulberry and in pursuance of this reasoning he and his
friend soon afterward repaired to Ralph Nicklebys there to execute a plan of
operations concerted by Sir Mulberry himself avowedly to promote his friends
object and really to attain his own
They found Ralph at home and alone As he led them into the drawingroom
the recollection of the scene which had taken place there seemed to occur to
him for he cast a curious look at Sir Mulberry who bestowed upon it no other
acknowledgment than a careless smile
They had a short conference upon some money matters then in progress which
were scarcely disposed of when the lordly dupe in pursuance of his friends
instructions requested with some embarrassment to speak to Ralph alone
»Alone eh« cried Sir Mulberry affecting surprise »Oh very good Ill
walk into the next room here Dont keep me long thats all«
So saying Sir Mulberry took up his hat and humming a fragment of a song
disappeared through the door of communication between the two drawingrooms and
closed it after him
»Now my lord« said Ralph »what is it«
»Nickleby« said his client throwing himself along the sofa on which he had
been previously seated so as to bring his lips nearer to the old mans ear
»what a pretty creature your niece is«
»Is she my lord« replied Ralph »Maybe maybe I dont trouble my head
with such matters«
»You know shes a deyvlish fine girl« said the client »You must know
that Nickleby Come dont deny that«
»Yes I believe she is considered so« replied Ralph »Indeed I know she
is If I did not you are an authority on such points and your taste my lord
on all points indeed is undeniable«
Nobody but the young man to whom these words were addressed could have been
deaf to the sneering tone in which they were spoken or blind to the look of
contempt by which they were accompanied But Lord Frederick Verisopht was both
and took them to be complimentary
»Well« he said »praps youre a little right and praps youre a little
wrong a little of both Nickleby I want to know where this beauty lives that
I may have another peep at her Nickleby«
»Really « Ralph began in his usual tones
»Dont talk so loud« cried the other achieving the great point of his
lesson to a miracle »I dont want Hawk to hear«
»You know he is your rival do you« said Ralph looking sharply at him
»He always is daamn him« replied the client »and I want to steal a
march upon him Ha ha ha Hell cut up so rough Nickleby at our talking
together without him Where does she live Nickleby thats all Only tell me
where she lives Nickleby«
»He bites« thought Ralph »He bites«
»Eh Nickleby eh« pursued the client »Where does she live«
»Really my lord« said Ralph rubbing his hands slowly over each other »I
must think before I tell you«
»No not a bit of it Nickleby you musnt think at all Where is it«
»No good can come of your knowing« replied Ralph »She has been virtuously
and well brought up to be sure she is handsome poor unprotected Poor girl
poor girl«
Ralph ran over this brief summary of Kates condition as if it were merely
passing through his own mind and he had no intention to speak aloud but the
shrewd sly look which he directed at his companion as he delivered it gave this
poor assumption the lie
»I tell you I only want to see her« cried his client »A maan may look at
a pretty woman without harm maynt he Now where does she live You know
youre making a fortune out of me Nickleby and upon my soul nobody shall ever
take me to anybody else if you only tell me this«
»As you promise that my lord« said Ralph with feigned reluctance »and as
I am most anxious to oblige you and as theres no harm in it no harm Ill
tell you But you had better keep it to yourself my lord strictly to
yourself« Ralph pointed to the adjoining room as he spoke and nodded
expressively
The young lord feigning to be equally impressed with the necessity of this
precaution Ralph disclosed the present address and occupation of his niece
observing that from what he heard of the family they appeared very ambitious to
have distinguished acquaintances and that a lord could doubtless introduce
himself with great ease if he felt disposed
»Your object being only to see her again« said Ralph »you could effect it
at any time you chose by that means«
Lord Frederick acknowledged the hint with a great many squeezes of Ralphs
hard horny hand and whispering that they would now do well to close the
conversation called to Sir Mulberry Hawk that he might come back
»I thought you had gone to sleep« said Sir Mulberry reappearing with an
illtempered air
»Sorry to detain you« replied the gull »but Nickleby has been so
amaazingly funny that I couldnt tear myself away«
»No no« said Ralph »it was all his lordship You know what a witty
humorous elegant accomplished man Lord Frederick is Mind the step my lord
Sir Mulberry pray give way«
With such courtesies as these and many low bows and the same cold sneer
upon his face all the while Ralph busied himself in showing his visitors down
stairs and otherwise than by the slightest possible motion about the corners of
his mouth returned no show of answer to the look of admiration with which Sir
Mulberry Hawk seemed to compliment him on being such an accomplished and most
consummate scoundrel
There had been a ring at the bell a few moments before which was answered
by Newman Noggs just as they reached the hall In the ordinary course of
business Newman would have either admitted the newcomer in silence or have
requested him or her to stand aside while the gentlemen passed out But he no
sooner saw who it was than as if for some private reason of his own he boldly
departed from the established custom of Ralphs mansion in business hours and
looking towards the respectable trio who were approaching cried in a loud and
sonorous voice »Mrs Nickleby«
»Mrs Nickleby« cried Sir Mulberry Hawk as his friend looked back and
stared him in the face
It was indeed that wellintentioned lady who having received an offer
for the empty house in the city directed to the landlord had brought it
posthaste to Mr Nickleby without delay
»Nobody you know« said Ralph »Step into the office my my dear Ill
be with you directly«
»Nobody I know« cried Sir Mulberry Hawk advancing to the astonished lady
»Is this Mrs Nickleby the mother of Miss Nickleby the delightful creature
that I had the happiness of meeting in this house the very last time I dined
here But no« said Sir Mulberry stopping short »No it cant be There is the
same cast of features the same indescribable air of But no no This lady is
too young for that«
»I think you can tell the gentleman brotherinlaw if it concerns him to
know« said Mrs Nickleby acknowledging the compliment with a graceful bend
»that Kate Nickleby is my daughter«
»Her daughter my lord« cried Sir Mulberry turning to his friend »This
ladys daughter my lord«
»My lord« thought Mrs Nickleby »Well I never did «
»This then my lord« said Sir Mulberry »is the lady to whose obliging
marriage we owe so much happiness This lady is the mother of sweet Miss
Nickleby Do you observe the extraordinary likeness my lord Nickleby
introduce us«
Ralph did so in a kind of desperation
»Upon my soul its a most delightful thing« said Lord Frederick pressing
forward »How de do«
Mrs Nickleby was too much flurried by these uncommonly kind salutations
and her regrets at not having on her other bonnet to make any immediate reply
so she merely continued to bend and smile and betray great agitation
»A and how is Miss Nickleby« said Lord Frederick »Well I hope«
»She is quite well Im obliged to you my lord« returned Mrs Nickleby
recovering »Quite well She wasnt well for some days after that day she dined
here and I cant help thinking that she caught cold in that hackneycoach
coming home Hackneycoaches my lord are such nasty things that its almost
better to walk at any time for although I believe a hackneycoachman can be
transported for life if he has a broken window still they are so reckless
that they nearly all have broken windows I once had a swelled face for six
weeks my lord from riding in a hackneycoach I think it was a
hackneycoach« said Mrs Nickleby reflecting »though Im not quite certain
whether it wasnt a chariot at all events I know it was a dark green with a
very long number beginning with a nought and ending with a nine no beginning
with a nine and ending with a nought that was it and of course the
stampoffice people would know at once whether it was a coach or a chariot if
any inquiries were made there however that was there it was with a broken
window and there was I for six weeks with a swelled face I think that was the
very same hackneycoach that we found out afterwards had the top open all the
time and we should never even have known it if they hadnt charged us a
shilling an hour extra for having it open which it seems is the law or was
then and a most shameful law it appears to be I dont understand the subject
but I should say the Corn Laws could be nothing to that act of Parliament«
Having pretty well run herself out by this time Mrs Nickleby stopped as
suddenly as she had started off and repeated that Kate was quite well
»Indeed« said Mrs Nickleby »I dont think she ever was better since she had
the hoopingcough scarlet fever and measles all at the same time and thats
the fact«
»Is that letter for me« growled Ralph pointing to the little packet Mrs
Nickleby held in her hand
»For you brotherinlaw« replied Mrs Nickleby »and I walked all the way
up here on purpose to give it you«
»All the way up here« cried Sir Mulberry seizing upon the chance of
discovering where Mrs Nickleby had come from »What a confounded distance How
far do you call it now«
»How far do I call it« said Mrs Nickleby »Let me see Its just a mile
from our door to the Old Bailey«
»No no Not so much as that« urged Sir Mulberry
»Oh It is indeed« said Mrs Nickleby »I appeal to his lordship«
»I should decidedly say it was a mile« remarked Lord Frederick with a
solemn aspect
»It must be it cant be a yard less« said Mrs Nickleby »All down Newgate
Street all down Cheapside all up Lombard Street down Gracechurch Street and
along Thames Street as far as Spigwiffins Wharf Oh Its a mile«
»Yes on second thoughts I should say it was« replied Sir Mulberry »But
you dont surely mean to walk all the way back«
»Oh no« rejoined Mrs Nickleby »I shall go back in an omnibus I didnt
travel about in omnibuses when my poor dear Nicholas was alive brotherinlaw
But as it is you know «
»Yes yes« replied Ralph impatiently »and you had better get back before
dark«
»Thank you brotherinlaw so I had« returned Mrs Nickleby »I think I
had better say good bye at once«
»Not stop and rest« said Ralph who seldom offered refreshments unless
something was to be got by it
»Oh dear me no« returned Mrs Nickleby glancing at the dial
»Lord Frederick« said Sir Mulberry »we are going Mrs Nicklebys way
Well see her safe to the omnibus«
»By all means Yees«
»Oh I really couldnt think of it« said Mrs Nickleby
But Sir Mulberry Hawk and Lord Frederick were peremptory in their
politeness and leaving Ralph who seemed to think not unwisely that he looked
less ridiculous as a mere spectator than he would have done if he had taken any
part in these proceedings they quitted the house with Mrs Nickleby between
them that good lady in a perfect ecstacy of satisfaction no less with the
attentions shown her by two titled gentlemen than with the conviction that Kate
might now pick and choose at least between two large fortunes and most
unexceptionable husbands
As she was carried away for the moment by an irresistible train of thought
all connected with her daughters future greatness Sir Mulberry Hawk and his
friend exchanged glances over the top of the bonnet which the poor lady so much
regretted not having left at home and proceeded to dilate with great rapture
but much respect on the manifold perfections of Miss Nickleby
»What a delight what a comfort what a happiness this amiable creature
must be to you« said Sir Mulberry throwing into his voice an indication of the
warmest feeling
»She is indeed sir« replied Mrs Nickleby »she is the sweetesttempered
kindesthearted creature and so clever«
»She looks clayver« said Lord Frederick Verisopht with the air of a judge
of cleverness
»I assure you she is my lord« returned Mrs Nickleby »When she was at
school in Devonshire she was universally allowed to be beyond all exception the
very cleverest girl there and there were a great many very clever ones too and
thats the truth twentyfive young ladies fifty guineas ayear without the
etceteras both the Miss Dowdles the most accomplished elegant fascinating
creatures Oh dear me« said Mrs Nickleby »I never shall forget what pleasure
she used to give me and her poor dear papa when she was at that school never
such a delightful letter every halfyear telling us that she was the first
pupil in the whole establishment and had made more progress than anybody else
I can scarcely bear to think of it even now The girls wrote all the letters
themselves« added Mrs Nickleby »and the writingmaster touched them up
afterwards with a magnifying glass and a silver pen at least I think they wrote
them though Kate was never quite certain about that because she didnt know
the handwriting of hers again but any way I know it was a circular which they
all copied and of course it was a very gratifying thing very gratifying«
With similar recollections Mrs Nickleby beguiled the tediousness of the
way until they reached the omnibus which the extreme politeness of her new
friends would not allow them to leave until it actually started when they took
their hats as Mrs Nickleby solemnly assured her hearers on many subsequent
occasions completely off and kissed their strawcoloured kid gloves till they
were no longer visible
Mrs Nickleby leant back in the furthest corner of the conveyance and
closing her eyes resigned herself to a host of most pleasing meditations Kate
had never said a word about having met either of these gentlemen that she
thought »argues that she is strongly prepossessed in favour of one of them«
Then the question arose which one could it be The lord was the youngest and
his title was certainly the grandest still Kate was not the girl to be swayed
by such considerations as these »I will never put any constraint upon her
inclinations« said Mrs Nickleby to herself »but upon my word I think theres
no comparison between his lordship and Sir Mulberry Sir Mulberry is such an
attentive gentlemanly creature so much manner such a fine man and has so much
to say for himself I hope its Sir Mulberry I think it must be Sir Mulberry«
And then her thoughts flew back to her old predictions and the number of times
she had said that Kate with no fortune would marry better than other peoples
daughters with thousands and as she pictured with the brightness of a mothers
fancy all the beauty and grace of the poor girl who had struggled so cheerfully
with her new life of hardship and trial her heart grew too full and the tears
trickled down her face
Meanwhile Ralph walked to and fro in his little back office troubled in
mind by what had just occurred To say that Ralph loved or cared for in the
most ordinary acceptation of those terms any one of Gods creatures would be
the wildest fiction Still there had somehow stolen upon him from time to time
a thought of his niece which was tinged with compassion and pity breaking
through the dull cloud of dislike or indifference which darkened men and women
in his eyes there was in her case the faintest gleam of light a most feeble
and sickly ray at the best of times but there it was and it showed the poor
girl in a better and purer aspect than any in which he had looked on human
nature yet
»I wish« thought Ralph »I had never done this And yet it will keep this
boy to me while there is money to be made Selling a girl throwing her in the
way of temptation and insult and coarse speech Nearly two thousand pounds
profit from him already though Pshaw matchmaking mothers do the same thing
every day«
He sat down and told the chances for and against on his fingers
»If I had not put them in the right track today« thought Ralph »this
foolish woman would have done so Well If her daughter is as true to herself as
she should be from what I have seen what harm ensues A little teazing a
little humbling a few tears Yes« said Ralph aloud as he locked his iron
safe »She must take her chance She must take her chance«
Chapter XXVII
Mrs Nickleby Becomes Acquainted with Messrs Pyke and Pluck whose Affection
and Interest Are Beyond All Bounds
Mrs Nickleby had not felt so proud and important for many a day as when on
reaching home she gave herself wholly up to the pleasant visions which had
accompanied her on her way thither Lady Mulberry Hawk that was the prevalent
idea Lady Mulberry Hawk On Tuesday last at St Georges Hanoversquare by
the Right Reverend the Bishop of Llandaff Sir Mulberry Hawk of Mulberry
Castle North Wales to Catherine only daughter of the late Nicholas Nickleby
Esquire of Devonshire »Upon my word« cried Mrs Nicholas Nickleby »it sounds
very well«
Having despatched the ceremony with its attendant festivities to the
perfect satisfaction of her own mind the sanguine mother pictured to her
imagination a long train of honors and distinctions which could not fail to
accompany Kate in her new and brilliant sphere She would be presented at court
of course On the anniversary of her birthday which was upon the nineteenth of
July »at ten minutes past three oclock in the morning« thought Mrs Nickleby
in a parenthesis »for I recollect asking what oclock it was« Sir Mulberry
would give a great feast to all his tenants and would return them three and a
half per cent on the amount of their last halfyears rent as would be fully
described and recorded in the fashionable intelligence to the immeasurable
delight and admiration of all the readers thereof Kates picture too would be
in at least halfadozen of the annuals and on the opposite page would appear
in delicate type »Lines on contemplating the Portrait of Lady Mulberry Hawk By
Sir Dingleby Dabber« Perhaps some one annual of more comprehensive design than
its fellows might even contain a portrait of the mother of Lady Mulberry Hawk
with lines by the father of Sir Dingleby Dabber More unlikely things had come
to pass Less interesting portraits had appeared As this thought occurred to
the good lady her countenance unconsciously assumed that compound expression of
simpering and sleepiness which being common to all such portraits is perhaps
one reason why they are always so charming and agreeable
With such triumphs of aërial architecture did Mrs Nickleby occupy the whole
evening after her accidental introduction to Ralphs titled friends and dreams
no less prophetic and equally promising haunted her sleep that night She was
preparing for her frugal dinner next day still occupied with the same ideas a
little softened down perhaps by sleep and daylight when the girl who attended
her partly for company and partly to assist in the household affairs rushed
into the room in unwonted agitation and announced that two gentlemen were
waiting in the passage for permission to walk up stairs
»Bless my heart« cried Mrs Nickleby hastily arranging her cap and front
»if it should be dear me standing in the passage all this time why dont
you go and ask them to walk up you stupid thing«
While the girl was gone on this errand Mrs Nickleby hastily swept into a
cupboard all vestiges of eating and drinking which she had scarcely done and
seated herself with looks as collected as she could assume when two gentlemen
both perfect strangers presented themselves
»How do you do« said one gentleman laying great stress on the last word of
the inquiry
»How do you do« said the other gentleman altering the emphasis as if to
give variety to the salutation
Mrs Nickleby curtseyed and smiled and curtseyed again and remarked
rubbing her hands as she did so that she hadnt the really the honor to
»To know us« said the first gentleman »The loss has been ours Mrs
Nickleby Has the loss been ours Pyke«
»It has Pluck« answered the other gentleman
»We have regretted it very often I believe Pyke« said the first
gentleman
»Very often Pluck« answered the second
»But now« said the first gentleman »now we have the happiness we have
pined and languished for Have we pined and languished for this happiness Pyke
or have we not«
»You know we have Pluck« said Pyke reproachfully
»You hear him maam« said Mr Pluck looking round »you hear the
unimpeachable testimony of my friend Pyke that reminds me formalities
formalities must not be neglected in civilized society Pyke Mrs Nickleby«
Mr Pyke laid his hand upon his heart and bowed low
»Whether I shall introduce myself with the same formality« said Mr Pluck
»whether I shall say myself that my name is Pluck or whether I shall ask my
friend Pyke who being now regularly introduced is competent to the office to
state for me Mrs Nickleby that my name is Pluck whether I shall claim your
acquaintance on the plain ground of the strong interest I take in your welfare
or whether I shall make myself known to you as the friend of Sir Mulberry Hawk
these Mrs Nickleby are considerations which I leave to you to determine.«
»Any friend of Sir Mulberry Hawks requires no better introduction to me«
observed Mrs Nickleby graciously
»It is delightful to hear you say so« said Mr Pluck drawing a chair close
to Mrs Nickleby and seating himself »It is refreshing to know that you hold
my excellent friend Sir Mulberry in such high esteem A word in your ear Mrs
Nickleby When Sir Mulberry knows it he will be a happy man I say Mrs
Nickleby a happy man Pyke be seated«
»My good opinion« said Mrs Nickleby and the poor lady exulted in the idea
that she was marvellously sly »my good opinion can be of very little
consequence to a gentleman like Sir Mulberry«
»Of little consequence« exclaimed Mr Pluck »Pyke of what consequence to
our friend Sir Mulberry is the good opinion of Mrs Nickleby«
»Of what consequence« echoed Pyke
»Aye« repeated Pluck »is it of the greatest consequence«
»Of the very greatest consequence« replied Pyke
»Mrs Nickleby cannot be ignorant« said Mr Pluck »of the immense
impression which that sweet girl has «
»Pluck« said his friend »beware«
»Pyke is right« muttered Mr Pluck after a short pause »I was not to
mention it Pyke is very right Thank you Pyke«
»Well now really« thought Mrs Nickleby within herself »Such delicacy as
that I never saw«
Mr Pluck after feigning to be in a condition of great embarrassment for
some minutes resumed the conversation by entreating Mrs Nickleby to take no
heed of what he had inadvertently said to consider him imprudent rash
injudicious The only stipulation he would make in his own favour was that she
should give him credit for the best intentions
»But when« said Mr Pluck »when I see so much sweetness and beauty on the
one hand and so much ardour and devotion on the other I pardon me Pyke I
didnt intend to resume that theme Change the subject Pyke«
»We promised Sir Mulberry and Lord Frederick« said Pyke »that wed call
this morning and inquire whether you took any cold last night«
»Not the least in the world last night sir« replied Mrs Nickleby »with
many thanks to his lordship and Sir Mulberry for doing me the honor to inquire
not the least which is the more singular as I really am very subject to
colds indeed very subject I had a cold once« said Mrs Nickleby »I think
it was in the year eighteen hundred and seventeen let me see four and five are
nine and yes eighteen hundred and seventeen that I thought I never should
get rid of actually and seriously that I thought I never should get rid of I
was only cured at last by a remedy that I dont know whether you ever happened
to hear of Mr Pluck You have a gallon of water as hot as you can possibly
bear it with a pound of salt and sixpenorth of the finest bran and sit with
your head in it for twenty minutes every night just before going to bed at
least I dont mean your head your feet Its a most extraordinary cure a
most extraordinary cure I used it for the first time I recollect the day
after Christmas Day and by the middle of April following the cold was gone It
seems quite a miracle when you come to think of it for I had it ever since the
beginning of September«
»What an afflicting calamity« said Mr Pyke
»Perfectly horrid« exclaimed Mr Pluck
»But its worth the pain of hearing only to know that Mrs Nickleby
recovered it isnt it Pluck« cried Mr Pyke
»That is the circumstance which gives it such a thrilling interest« replied
Mr Pluck
»But come« said Pyke as if suddenly recollecting himself »we must not
forget our mission in the pleasure of this interview We come on a mission Mrs
Nickleby«
»On a mission« exclaimed that good lady to whose mind a definitive
proposal of marriage for Kate at once presented itself in lively colours
»From Sir Mulberry« replied Pyke »You must be very dull here«
»Rather dull I confess« said Mrs Nickleby
»We bring the compliments of Sir Mulberry Hawk and a thousand entreaties
that youll take a seat in a private box at the play tonight« said Mr Pluck
»Oh dear« said Mrs Nickleby »I never go out at all never«
»And that is the very reason my dear Mrs Nickleby why you should go out
tonight« retorted Mr Pluck »Pyke entreat Mrs Nickleby«
»Oh pray do« said Pyke
»You positively must« urged Pluck
»You are very kind« said Mrs Nickleby hesitating »but «
»Theres not a but in the case my dear Mrs Nickleby« remonstrated Mr
Pluck »not such a word in the vocabulary Your brotherinlaw joins us Lord
Frederick joins us Sir Mulberry joins us Pyke joins us a refusal is out of
the question Sir Mulberry sends a carriage for you twenty minutes before
seven to the moment youll not be so cruel as to disappoint the whole party
Mrs Nickleby«
»You are so very pressing that I scarcely know what to say« replied the
worthy lady
»Say nothing not a word not a word my dearest madam« urged Mr Pluck
»Mrs Nickleby« said that excellent gentleman lowering his voice »there is
the most trifling the most excusable breach of confidence in what I am about to
say and yet if my friend Pyke there overheard it such is that mans delicate
sense of honor Mrs Nickleby hed have me out before dinnertime«
Mrs Nickleby cast an apprehensive glance at the warlike Pyke who had
walked to the window and Mr Pluck squeezing her hand went on
»Your daughter has made a conquest a conquest on which I may congratulate
you Sir Mulberry my dear maam Sir Mulberry is her devoted slave Hem«
»Hah« cried Mr Pyke at this juncture snatching something from the
chimneypiece with a theatrical air »What is this what do I behold«
»What do you behold my dear fellow« asked Mr Pluck
»It is the face the countenance the expression« cried Mr Pyke falling
into his chair with a miniature in his hand »feebly portrayed imperfectly
caught but still the face the countenance the expression«
»I recognise it at this distance« exclaimed Mr Pluck in a fit of
enthusiasm »Is it not my dear madam the faint similitude of «
»It is my daughters portrait« said Mrs Nickleby with great pride And so
it was And little Miss La Creevy had brought it home for inspection only two
nights before
Mr Pyke no sooner ascertained that he was quite right in his conjecture
than he launched into the most extravagant encomiums of the divine original and
in the warmth of his enthusiasm kissed the picture a thousand times while Mr
Pluck pressed Mrs Nicklebys hand to his heart and congratulated her on the
possession of such a daughter with so much earnestness and affection that the
tears stood or seemed to stand in his eyes Poor Mrs Nickleby who had
listened in a state of enviable complacency at first became at length quite
overpowered by these tokens of regard for and attachment to the family and
even the servantgirl who had peeped in at the door remained rooted to the
spot in astonishment at the ecstacies of the two friendly visitors
By degrees these raptures subsided and Mrs Nickleby went on to entertain
her guests with a lament over her fallen fortunes and a picturesque account of
her old house in the country comprising a full description of the different
apartments not forgetting the little storeroom and a lively recollection of
how many steps you went down to get into the garden and which way you turned
when you came out at the parlourdoor and what capital fixtures there were in
the kitchen This last reflection naturally conducted her into the washhouse
where she stumbled upon the brewing utensils among which she might have
wandered for an hour if the mere mention of those implements had not by an
association of ideas, instantly reminded Mr Pyke that he was amazing thirsty
»And Ill tell you what« said Mr Pyke »if youll send round to the
publichouse for a pot of mild halfandhalf positively and actually Ill drink
it«
And positively and actually Mr Pyke did drink it and Mr Pluck helped him
while Mrs Nickleby looked on in divided admiration of the condescension of the
two and the aptitude with which they accommodated themselves to the pewterpot
in explanation of which seeming marvel it may be here observed that gentlemen
who like Messrs Pyke and Pluck live upon their wits or not so much perhaps
upon the presence of their own wits as upon the absence of wits in other people
are occasionally reduced to very narrow shifts and straits and are at such
periods accustomed to regale themselves in a very simple and primitive manner
»At twenty minutes before seven then« said Mr Pyke rising »the coach
will be here One more look one little look at that sweet face Ah here it
is Unmoved unchanged« This by the way was a very remarkable circumstance
miniatures being liable to so many changes of expression »Oh Pluck Pluck«
Mr Pluck made no other reply than kissing Mrs Nicklebys hand with a great
show of feeling and attachment Mr Pyke having done the same both gentlemen
hastily withdrew
Mrs Nickleby was commonly in the habit of giving herself credit for a
pretty tolerable share of penetration and acuteness but she had never felt so
satisfied with her own sharpsightedness as she did that day She had found it
all out the night before She had never seen Sir Mulberry and Kate together
never even heard Sir Mulberrys name and yet hadnt she said to herself from
the very first that she saw how the case stood and what a triumph it was for
there was now no doubt about it If these flattering attentions to herself were
not sufficient proofs Sir Mulberrys confidential friend had suffered the
secret to escape him in so many words »I am quite in love with that dear Mr
Pluck I declare I am« said Mrs Nickleby
There was one great source of uneasiness in the midst of this good fortune
and that was the having nobody by to whom she could confide it Once or twice
she almost resolved to walk straight to Miss La Creevys and tell it all to her
»But I dont know« thought Mrs Nickleby »she is a very worthy person but I
am afraid too much beneath Sir Mulberrys station for us to make a companion of
Poor thing« Acting upon this grave consideration she rejected the idea of
taking the little portraitpainter into her confidence and contented herself
with holding out sundry vague and mysterious hopes of preferment to the
servantgirl who received these obscure hints of dawning greatness with much
veneration and respect
Punctual to its time came the promised vehicle which was no hackney coach
but a private chariot having behind it a footman whose legs although somewhat
large for his body might as mere abstract legs have set themselves up for
models at the Royal Academy It was quite exhilarating to hear the clash and
bustle with which he banged the door and jumped up behind after Mrs Nickleby
was in and as that good lady was perfectly unconscious that he applied the
goldheaded end of his long stick to his nose and so telegraphed most
disrespectfully to the coachman over her very head she sat in a state of much
stiffness and dignity not a little proud of her position
At the theatre entrance there was more banging and more bustle and there
were also Messrs Pyke and Pluck waiting to escort her to her box and so polite
were they that Mr Pyke threatened with many oaths to smifligate a very old man
with a lantern who accidentally stumbled in her way to the great terror of
Mrs Nickleby who conjecturing more from Mr Pykes excitement than any
previous acquaintance with the etymology of the word that smifligation and
bloodshed must be in the main one and the same thing was alarmed beyond
expression lest something should occur Fortunately however Mr Pyke confined
himself to mere verbal smifligation and they reached their box with no more
serious interruption by the way than a desire on the part of the same
pugnacious gentleman to smash the assistant boxkeeper for happening to mistake
the number
Mrs Nickleby had scarcely been put away behind the curtain of the box in an
arm chair when Sir Mulberry and Lord Frederick Verisopht arrived arrayed from
the crowns of their heads to the tips of their gloves and from the tips of
their gloves to the toes of their boots in the most elegant and costly manner
Sir Mulberry was a little hoarser than on the previous day and Lord Frederick
looked rather sleepy and queer from which tokens as well as from the
circumstance of their both being to a trifling extent unsteady on their legs
Mrs Nickleby justly concluded that they had taken dinner
»We have been we have been toasting your lovely daughter Mrs
Nickleby« whispered Sir Mulberry sitting down behind her
»Oh ho« thought that knowing lady »wine in truth out You are very
kind Sir Mulberry«
»No no upon my soul« replied Sir Mulberry Hawk »Its you thats kind
upon my soul it is It was so kind of you to come tonight«
»So very kind of you to invite me you mean Sir Mulberry« replied Mrs
Nickleby tossing her head and looking prodigiously sly
»I am so anxious to know you so anxious to cultivate your good opinion so
desirous that there should be a delicious kind of harmonious family
understanding between us« said Sir Mulberry »that you mustnt think Im
disinterested in what I do Im infernal selfish I am upon my soul I am«
»I am sure you cant be selfish Sir Mulberry« replied Mrs Nickleby »You
have much too open and generous a countenance for that«
»What an extraordinary observer you are« said Sir Mulberry Hawk
»Oh no indeed I dont see very far into things Sir Mulberry« replied
Mrs Nickleby in a tone of voice which left the baronet to infer that she saw
very far indeed
»I am quite afraid of you« said the baronet »Upon my soul« repeated Sir
Mulberry looking round to his companions »I am afraid of Mrs Nickleby She is
so immensely sharp«
Messrs Pyke and Pluck shook their heads mysteriously and observed together
that they had found that out long ago upon which Mrs Nickleby tittered and
Sir Mulberry laughed and Pyke and Pluck roared
»But wheres my brotherinlaw Sir Mulberry« inquired Mrs Nickleby »I
shouldnt be here without him I hope hes coming«
»Pyke« said Sir Mulberry taking out his toothpick and lolling back in his
chair as if he were too lazy to invent a reply to this question »Wheres Ralph
Nickleby«
»Pluck« said Pyke imitating the baronets action and turning the lie over
to his friend »wheres Ralph Nickleby«
Mr Pluck was about to return some evasive reply when the bustle caused by
a party entering the next box seemed to attract the attention of all four
gentlemen who exchanged glances of much meaning The new party beginning to
converse together Sir Mulberry suddenly assumed the character of a most
attentive listener and implored his friends not to breathe not to breathe
»Why not« said Mrs Nickleby »What is the matter«
»Hush« replied Sir Mulberry laying his hand on her arm »Lord Frederick
do you recognize the tones of that voice«
»Deyvle take me if I didnt think it was the voice of Miss Nickleby«
»Lor my lord« cried Miss Nicklebys mama thrusting her head round the
curtain »Why actually Kate my dear Kate«
»You here mama Is it possible«
»Possible my dear Yes«
»Why who who on earth is that you have with you mama« said Kate
shrinking back as she caught sight of a man smiling and kissing his hand
»Who do you suppose my dear« replied Mrs Nickleby bending towards Mrs
Wititterly and speaking a little louder for that ladys edification »Theres
Mr Pyke Mr Pluck Sir Mulberry Hawk and Lord Frederick Verisopht«
»Gracious Heaven« thought Kate hurriedly »How comes she in such society«
Now Kate thought thus so hurriedly and the surprise was so great and
moreover brought back so forcibly the recollection of what had passed at Ralphs
delectable dinner that she turned extremely pale and appeared greatly agitated
which symptoms being observed by Mrs Nickleby were at once set down by that
acute lady as being caused and occasioned by violent love But although she was
in no small degree delighted by this discovery which reflected so much credit on
her own quickness of perception, it did not lessen her motherly anxiety in
Kates behalf and accordingly with a vast quantity of trepidation she quitted
her own box to hasten into that of Mrs Wititterly Mrs Wititterly keenly
alive to the glory of having a lord and a baronet among her visiting
acquaintance lost no time in signing to Mr Wititterly to open the door and
thus it was that in less than thirty seconds Mrs Nicklebys party had made an
irruption into Mrs Wititterlys box which it filled to the very door there
being in fact only room for Messrs Pyke and Pluck to get in their heads and
waistcoats
»My dear Kate« said Mrs Nickleby kissing her daughter affectionately
»How ill you looked a moment ago You quite frightened me I declare«
»It was a mere fancy mama the the reflection of the lights perhaps«
replied Kate glancing nervously round and finding it impossible to whisper any
caution or explanation
»Dont you see Sir Mulberry Hawk my dear«
Kate bowed slightly and biting her lip turned her head towards the stage
But Sir Mulberry Hawk was not to be so easily repulsed for he advanced with
extended hand and Mrs Nickleby officiously informing Kate of this
circumstance she was obliged to extend her own Sir Mulberry detained it while
he murmured a profusion of compliments which Kate remembering what had passed
between them rightly considered as so many aggravations of the insult he had
already put upon her Then followed the recognition of Lord Frederick Verisopht
and then the greeting of Mr Pyke and then that of Mr Pluck and finally to
complete the young ladys mortification she was compelled at Mrs Wititterlys
request to perform the ceremony of introducing the odious persons whom she
regarded with the utmost indignation and abhorrence
»Mrs Wititterly is delighted« said Mr Wititterly rubbing his hands
»delighted my lord I am sure with this opportunity of contracting an
acquaintance which I trust my lord we shall improve Julia my dear you must
not allow yourself to be too much excited you must not Indeed you must not
Mrs Wititterly is of a most excitable nature Sir Mulberry The snuff of a
candle the wick of a lamp the bloom on a peach the down on a butterfly You
might blow her away my lord you might blow her away«
Sir Mulberry seemed to think that it would be a great convenience if the
lady could be blown away He said however that the delight was mutual and
Lord Frederick added that it was mutual whereupon Messrs Pyke and Pluck were
heard to murmur from the distance that it was very mutual indeed
»I take an interest my lord« said Mrs Wititterly with a faint smile
»such an interest in the drama«
»Yees Its very interesting« replied Lord Frederick
»Im always ill after Shakspeare« said Mrs Wititterly »I scarcely exist
the next day I find the reaction so very great after a tragedy my lord and
Shakspeare is such a delicious creature«
»Yees« replied Lord Frederick »He was a clayver man«
»Do you know my lord« said Mrs Wititterly after a long silence »I find
I take so much more interest in his plays after having been to that dear little
dull house he was born in Were you ever there my lord«
»No nayver« replied my lord
»Then really you ought to go my lord« returned Mrs Wititterly in very
languid and drawling accents »I dont know how it is but after youve seen the
place and written your name in the little book somehow or other you seem to be
inspired it kindles up quite a fire within one«
»Yees« replied Lord Frederick »I shall certainly go there«
»Julia my life« interposed Mr Wititterly »you are deceiving his lordship
unintentionally my lord she is deceiving you It is your poetical
temperament my dear your ethereal soul your fervid imagination which
throws you into a glow of genius and excitement There is nothing in the place
my dear nothing nothing«
»I think there must be something in the place« said Mrs Nickleby who had
been listening in silence »for soon after I was married I went to Stratford
with my poor dear Mr Nickleby in a postchaise from Birmingham was it a
postchaise though« said Mrs Nickleby considering »yes it must have been a
postchaise because I recollect remarking at the time that the driver had a
green shade over his left eye in a postchaise from Birmingham and after we
had seen Shakspeares tomb and birthplace we went back to the inn there where
we slept that night and I recollect that all night long I dreamt of nothing but
a black gentleman at full length in plasterofParis with a lay down collar
tied with two tassels leaning against a post and thinking and when I woke in
the morning and described him to Mr Nickleby he said it was Shakspeare just as
he had been when he was alive which was very curious indeed Stratford
Stratford« continued Mrs Nickleby considering »Yes I am positive about
that because I recollect I was in the family way with my son Nicholas at the
time and I had been very much frightened by an Italian image boy that very
morning In fact it was quite a mercy maam« added Mrs Nickleby in a
whisper to Mrs Wititterly »that my son didnt turn out to be a Shakspeare and
what a dreadful thing that would have been«
When Mrs Nickleby had brought this interesting anecdote to a close Pyke
and Pluck ever zealous in their patrons cause proposed the adjournment of a
detachment of the party into the next box and with so much skill were the
preliminaries adjusted that Kate despite all she could say or do to the
contrary had no alternative but to suffer herself to be led away by Sir
Mulberry Hawk Her mother and Mr Pluck accompanied them but the worthy lady
pluming herself upon her discretion took particular care not so much as to look
at her daughter during the whole evening and to seem wholly absorbed in the
jokes and conversation of Mr Pluck who having been appointed sentry over Mrs
Nickleby for that especial purpose neglected on his side no possible
opportunity of engrossing her attention
Lord Frederick Verisopht remained in the next box to be talked to by Mrs
Wititterly and Mr Pyke was in attendance to throw in a word or two when
necessary As to Mr Wititterly he was sufficiently busy in the body of the
house informing such of his friends and acquaintance as happened to be there
that those two gentlemen up stairs whom they had seen in conversation with Mrs
W were the distinguished Lord Frederick Verisopht and his most intimate
friend the gay Sir Mulberry Hawk a communication which inflamed several
respectable housekeepers with the utmost jealousy and rage and reduced sixteen
unmarried daughters to the very brink of despair
The evening came to an end at last but Kate had yet to be handed down
stairs by the detested Sir Mulberry and so skilfully were the manoeuvres of
Messrs Pyke and Pluck conducted that she and the baronet were the last of the
party and were even without an appearance of effort or design left at some
little distance behind
»Dont hurry dont hurry« said Sir Mulberry as Kate hastened on and
attempted to release her arm
She made no reply but still pressed forward
»Nay then « coolly observed Sir Mulberry stopping her outright
»You had best not seek to detain me sir« said Kate angrily
»And why not« retorted Sir Mulberry »My dear creature now why do you keep
up this show of displeasure«
»Show« repeated Kate indignantly »How dare you presume to speak to me
sir to address me to come into my presence«
»You look prettier in a passion Miss Nickleby« said Sir Mulberry Hawk
stooping down the better to see her face
»I hold you in the bitterest detestation and contempt sir« said Kate »If
you find any attraction in looks of disgust and aversion you let me rejoin my
friends sir instantly Whatever considerations may have withheld me thus far
I will disregard them all and take a course that even you might feel if you do
not immediately suffer me to proceed«
Sir Mulberry smiled and still looking in her face and retaining her arm
walked towards the door
»If no regard for my sex or helpless situation will induce you to desist
from this coarse and unmanly persecution« said Kate scarcely knowing in the
tumult of her passions what she said »I have a brother who will resent it
dearly one day«
»Upon my soul« exclaimed Sir Mulberry as though quietly communing with
himself and passing his arm round her waist as he spoke »she looks more
beautiful and I like her better in this mood than when her eyes are cast
down and she is in perfect repose«
How Kate reached the lobby where her friends were waiting she never knew
but she hurried across it without at all regarding them and disengaged herself
suddenly from her companion sprang into the coach and throwing herself into
its darkest corner burst into tears
Messrs Pyke and Pluck knowing their cue at once threw the party into
great commotion by shouting for the carriages and getting up a violent quarrel
with sundry inoffensive bystanders in the midst of which tumult they put the
affrighted Mrs Nickleby in her chariot and having got her safely off turned
their thoughts to Mrs Wititterly whose attention also they had now effectually
distracted from the young lady by throwing her into a state of the utmost
bewilderment and consternation At length the conveyance in which she had come
rolled off too with its load and the four worthies being left alone under the
portico enjoyed a hearty laugh together
»There« said Sir Mulberry turning to his noble friend »Didnt I tell you
last night that if we could find where they were going by bribing a servant
through my fellow and then established ourselves close by with the mother
these peoples house would be our own Why here it is done in fourandtwenty
hours«
»Yees« replied the dupe »But I have been tied to the old woman all
niight«
»Hear him« said Sir Mulberry turning to his two friends »Hear this
discontented grumbler Isnt it enough to make a man swear never to help him in
his plots and schemes again Isnt it an infernal shame«
Pyke asked Pluck whether it was not an infernal shame and Pluck asked Pyke
but neither answered
»Isnt it the truth« demanded Frederick Verisopht »Wasnt it so«
»Wasnt it so« repeated Sir Mulberry »How would you have had it How could
we have got a general invitation at first sight come when you like go when
you like stop as long as you like do what you like if you the lord had not
made yourself agreeable to the foolish mistress of the house Do I care for this
girl except as your friend Havent I been sounding your praises in her ears
and bearing her pretty sulks and peevishness all night for you What sort of
stuff do you think Im made of Would I do this for every man Dont I deserve
even gratitude in return«
»Youre a deyvlish good fellow« said the poor young lord taking his
friends arm »Upon my life youre a deyvlish good fellow Hawk«
»And I have done right have I« demanded Sir Mulberry
»Quite right«
»And like a poor silly goodnatured friendly dog as I am eh«
»Yees yees like a friend« replied the other
»Well then« replied Sir Mulberry »Im satisfied And now lets go and have
our revenge on the German baron and the Frenchman who cleaned you out so
handsomely last night«
With these words the friendly creature took his companions arm and led him
away turning half round as he did so and bestowing a wink and a contemptuous
smile on Messrs Pyke and Pluck who cramming their handkerchiefs into their
mouths to denote their silent enjoyment of the proceedings followed their
patron and his victim at a little distance
Chapter XXVIII
Miss Nickleby Rendered Desperate by the Persecution of Sir Mulberry Hawk and
the Complicated Difficulties and Distresses which Surround Her Appeals as a
Last Resource to Her Uncle for Protection
The ensuing morning brought reflection with it as morning usually does but
widely different was the train of thought it awakened in the different persons
who had been so unexpectedly brought together on the preceding evening by the
active agency of Messrs Pyke and Pluck
The reflections of Sir Mulberry Hawk if such a term can be applied to the
thoughts of the systematic and calculating man of dissipation whose joys
regrets pains and pleasures are all of self, and who would seem to retain
nothing of the intellectual faculty but the power to debase himself and to
degrade the very nature whose outward semblance he wears the reflections of
Sir Mulberry Hawk turned upon Kate Nickleby and were in brief that she was
undoubtedly handsome that her coyness must be easily conquerable by a man of
his address and experience, and that the pursuit was one which could not fail to
redound to his credit and greatly to enhance his reputation with the world And
lest this last consideration no mean or secondary one with Sir Mulberry
should sound strangely in the ears of some let it be remembered that most men
live in a world of their own and that in that limited circle alone are they
ambitious for distinction and applause Sir Mulberrys world was peopled with
profligates and he acted accordingly
Thus cases of injustice and oppression and tyranny and the most
extravagant bigotry are in constant occurrence among us every day It is the
custom to trumpet forth much wonder and astonishment at the chief actors therein
setting at defiance so completely the opinion of the world but there is no
greater fallacy it is precisely because they do consult the opinion of their
own little world that such things take place at all and strike the great world
dumb with amazement
The reflections of Mrs Nickleby were of the proudest and most complacent
kind under the influence of her very agreeable delusion she straightway sat
down and indited a long letter to Kate in which she expressed her entire
approval of the admirable choice she had made and extolled Sir Mulberry to the
skies asserting for the more complete satisfaction of her daughters feelings
that he was precisely the individual whom she Mrs Nickleby would have chosen
for her soninlaw if she had had the picking and choosing from all mankind
The good lady then with the preliminary observation that she might be fairly
supposed not to have lived in the world so long without knowing its ways
communicated a great many subtle precepts applicable to the state of courtship
and confirmed in their wisdom by her own personal experience Above all things
she commended a strict maidenly reserve as being not only a very laudable thing
in itself, but as tending materially to strengthen and increase a lovers
ardour »And I never« added Mrs Nickleby »was more delighted in my life than
to observe last night my dear that your good sense had already told you this«
With which sentiment and various hints of the pleasure she derived from the
knowledge that her daughter inherited so large an instalment of her own
excellent sense and discretion to nearly the full measure of which she might
hope with care to succeed in time Mrs Nickleby concluded a very long and
rather illegible letter
Poor Kate was well nigh distracted on the receipt of four closelywritten
and closelycrossed sides of congratulation on the very subject which had
prevented her closing her eyes all night and kept her weeping and watching in
her chamber still worse and more trying was the necessity of rendering herself
agreeable to Mrs Wititterly who being in low spirits after the fatigue of the
preceding night of course expected her companion else wherefore had she board
and salary to be in the best spirits possible As to Mr Wititterly he went
about all day in a tremor of delight at having shaken hands with a lord and
having actually asked him to come and see him in his own house The lord
himself not being troubled to any inconvenient extent with the power of
thinking regaled himself with the conversation of Messrs Pyke and Pluck who
sharpened their wit by a plentiful indulgence in various costly stimulants at
his expense
It was four in the afternoon that is the vulgar afternoon of the sun and
the clock and Mrs Wititterly reclined according to custom on the
drawingroom sofa while Kate read aloud a new novel in three volumes entitled
»The Lady Flabella« which Alphonse the doubtful had procured from the library
that very morning And it was a production admirably suited to a lady labouring
under Mrs Wititterlys complaint seeing that there was not a line in it from
beginning to end which could by the most remote contingency awaken the
smallest excitement in any person breathing
Kate read on
»Cherizette said the Lady Flabella inserting her mouselike feet in the
blue satin slippers which had unwittingly occasioned the halfplayful
halfangry altercation between herself and the youthful Colonel Befillaire in
the Duke of Mincefenilles salon de danse on the previous night Cherizette ma
chère donnezmoi de leaudeCologne sil vous plaît mon enfant
Merci thank you said the Lady Flabella as the lively but devoted
Cherizette plentifully besprinkled with the fragrant compound the Lady
Flabellas mouchoir of finest cambric edged with richest lace and emblazoned
at the four corners with the Flabella crest and gorgeous heraldic bearings of
that noble family Merci that will do
At this instant while the Lady Flabella yet inhaled that delicious
fragrance by holding the mouchoir to her exquisite but thoughtfullychiselled
nose the door of the boudoir artfully concealed by rich hangings of silken
damask the hue of Italys firmament was thrown open and with noiseless tread
two valetsdechambre clad in sumptuous liveries of peachblossom and gold
advanced into the room followed by a page in bas de soie silk stockings who
while they remained at some distance making the most graceful obeisances
advanced to the feet of his lovely mistress and dropping on one knee presented
on a golden salver gorgeously chased a scented billet
The Lady Flabella with an agitation she could not repress hastily tore off
the envelope and broke the scented seal It was from Befillaire the young the
slim the lowvoiced her own Befillaire«
»Oh charming« interrupted Kates patroness who was sometimes taken
literary »Poetic really Read that description again Miss Nickleby«
Kate complied
»Sweet indeed« said Mrs Wititterly with a sigh »So voluptuous is it
not So soft«
»Yes I think it is« replied Kate gently »very soft«
»Close the book Miss Nickleby« said Mrs Wititterly »I can hear nothing
more today I should be sorry to disturb the impression of that sweet
description Close the book«
Kate complied not unwillingly and as she did so Mrs Wititterly raising
her glass with a languid hand remarked that she looked pale
»It was the fright of that that noise and confusion last night« said
Kate
»How very odd« exclaimed Mrs Wititterly with a look of surprise And
certainly when one comes to think of it it was very odd that anything should
have disturbed a companion A steamengine or other ingenious piece of
mechanism out of order would have been nothing to it
»How did you come to know Lord Frederick and those other delightful
creatures child« asked Mrs Wititterly still eyeing Kate through her glass
»I met them at my uncles« said Kate vexed to feel that she was colouring
deeply but unable to keep down the blood which rushed to her face whenever she
thought of that man
»Have you known them long«
»No« rejoined Kate »Not long«
»I was very glad of the opportunity which that respectable person your
mother gave us of being known to them« said Mrs Wititterly in a lofty
manner »Some friends of ours were on the very point of introducing us which
makes it quite remarkable«
This was said lest Miss Nickleby should grow conceited on the honor and
dignity of having known four great people for Pyke and Pluck were included
among the delightful creatures whom Mrs Wititterly did not know But as the
circumstance had made no impression one way or other upon Kates mind the force
of the observation was quite lost upon her
»They asked permission to call« said Mrs Wititterly »I gave it them of
course«
»Do you expect them today« Kate ventured to inquire
Mrs Wititterlys answer was lost in the noise of a tremendous rapping at
the streetdoor and before it had ceased to vibrate there drove up a handsome
cabriolet out of which leaped Sir Mulberry Hawk and his friend Lord Frederick
»They are here now« said Kate rising and hurrying away
»Miss Nickleby« cried Mrs Wititterly perfectly aghast at a companions
attempting to quit the room without her permission first had been obtained
»Pray dont think of going«
»You are very good« replied Kate »But «
»For goodness sake dont agitate me by making me speak so much« said Mrs
Wititterly with great sharpness »Dear me Miss Nickleby I beg «
It was in vain for Kate to protest that she was unwell for the footsteps of
the knockers whoever they were were already on the stairs She resumed her
seat and had scarcely done so when the doubtful page darted into the room and
announced Mr Pyke and Mr Pluck and Lord Frederick Verisopht and Sir
Mulberry Hawk all at one burst
»The most extraordinary thing in the world« said Mr Pluck saluting both
ladies with the utmost cordiality »the most extraordinary thing As Lord
Frederick and Sir Mulberry drove up to the door Pyke and I had that instant
knocked«
»That instant knocked« said Pyke
»No matter how you came so that you are here« said Mrs Wititterly who
by dint of lying on the same sofa for three years and a half had got up a
little pantomime of graceful attitudes and now threw herself into the most
striking of the series, to astonish the visitors »I am delighted I am sure«
»And how is Miss Nickleby« said Sir Mulberry Hawk accosting Kate in a low
voice not so low however but that it reached the ears of Mrs Wititterly
»Why she complains of suffering from the fright of last night« said the
lady »I am sure I dont wonder at it for my nerves are quite torn to pieces«
»And yet you look« observed Sir Mulberry turning round »and yet you look
«
»Beyond everything« said Mr Pyke coming to his patrons assistance Of
course Mr Pluck said the same
»I am afraid Sir Mulberry is a flatterer my lord« said Mrs Wititterly
turning to that young gentleman who had been sucking the head of his cane in
silence and staring at Kate
»Oh deyvlish« replied my lord Having given utterance to which remarkable
sentiment he occupied himself as before
»Neither does Miss Nickleby look the worse« said Sir Mulberry bending his
bold gaze upon her »She was always handsome but upon my soul maam you seem
to have imparted some of your own good looks to her besides«
To judge from the glow which suffused the poor girls countenance after this
speech Mrs Wititterly might with some show of reason, have been supposed to
have imparted to it some of that artificial bloom which decorated her own Mrs
Wititterly admitted though not with the best grace in the world that Kate did
look pretty She began to think too that Sir Mulberry was not quite so
agreeable a creature as she had at first supposed him for although a skilful
flatterer is a most delightful companion if you can keep him all to yourself
his taste becomes very doubtful when he takes to complimenting other people
»Pyke« said the watchful Mr Pluck observing the effect which the praise
of Miss Nickleby had produced
»Well Pluck« said Pyke
»Is there anybody« demanded Mr Pluck mysteriously »anybody you know
whom Mrs Wititterlys profile reminds you of«
»Reminds me of« answered Pyke »Of course there is«
»Who do you mean« said Pluck in the same mysterious manner »The D of
B«
»The C of B« replied Pyke with the faintest trace of a grin lingering in
his countenance »The beautiful sister is the countess not the duchess«
»True« said Pluck »the C of B The resemblance is wonderful«
»Perfectly startling« said Mr Pyke
Here was a state of things Mrs Wititterly was declared upon the testimony
of two veracious and competent witnesses to be the very picture of a countess
This was one of the consequences of getting into good society Why she might
have moved among grovelling people for twenty years and never heard of it How
could she indeed what did they know about countesses
The two gentlemen having by the greediness with which this little bait was
swallowed tested the extent of Mrs Wititterlys appetite for adulation
proceeded to administer that commodity in very large doses thus affording to
Sir Mulberry Hawk an opportunity of pestering Miss Nickleby with questions and
remarks to which she was absolutely obliged to make some reply Meanwhile Lord
Frederick enjoyed unmolested the full flavour of the gold knob at the top of his
cane as he would have done to the end of the interview if Mr Wititterly had
not come home and caused the conversation to turn to his favourite topic
»My lord« said Mr Wititterly »I am delighted honored proud Be seated
again my lord pray I am proud indeed most proud«
It was to the secret annoyance of his wife that Mr Wititterly said all
this for although she was bursting with pride and arrogance she would have
had the illustrious guests believe that their visit was quite a common
occurrence and that they had lords and baronets to see them every day in the
week But Mr Wititterlys feelings were beyond the power of suppression
»It is an honor indeed« said Mr Wititterly »Julia my soul you will
suffer for this tomorrow«
»Suffer« cried Lord Frederick
»The reaction my lord the reaction« said Mr Wititterly »This violent
strain upon the nervous system over my lord what ensues A sinking a
depression a lowness a lassitude a debility My lord if Sir Tumley Snuffim
was to see that delicate creature at this moment he would not give a a this
for her life« In illustration of which remark Mr Wititterly took a pinch of
snuff from his box and jerked it lightly into the air as an emblem of
instability
»Not that« said Mr Wititterly looking about him with a serious
countenance »Sir Tumley Snuffim would not give that for Mrs Wititterlys
existence«
Mr Wititterly told this with a kind of sober exultation as if it were no
trifling distinction for a man to have a wife in such a desperate state and
Mrs Wititterly sighed and looked on as if she felt the honor but had
determined to bear it as meekly as might be
»Mrs Wititterly« said her husband »is Sir Tumley Snuffims favourite
patient I believe I may venture to say that Mrs Wititterly is the first
person who took the new medicine which is supposed to have destroyed a family at
Kensington Gravel Pits I believe she was If I am wrong Julia my dear you
will correct me«
»I believe I was« said Mrs Wititterly in a faint voice
As there appeared to be some doubt in the mind of his patron how he could
best join in this conversation the indefatigable Mr Pyke threw himself into
the breach and by way of saying something to the point inquired with
reference to the aforesaid medicine whether it was nice
»No sir it was not It had not even that recommendation« said Mr W
»Mrs Wititterly is quite a martyr« observed Pyke with a complimentary
bow
»I think I am« said Mrs Wititterly smiling
»I think you are my dear Julia« replied her husband in a tone which
seemed to say that he was not vain but still must insist upon their privileges
»If anybody my lord« added Mr Wititterly wheeling round to the nobleman
»will produce to me a greater martyr than Mrs Wititterly all I can say is
that I shall be glad to see that martyr whether male or female thats all my
lord«
Pyke and Pluck promptly remarked that certainly nothing could be fairer than
that and the call having been by this time protracted to a very great length
they obeyed Sir Mulberrys look and rose to go This brought Sir Mulberry
himself and Lord Frederick on their legs also Many protestations of friendship
and expressions anticipative of the pleasure which must inevitably flow from so
happy an acquaintance were exchanged and the visitors departed with renewed
assurances that at all times and seasons the mansion of the Wititterlys would be
honored by receiving them beneath its roof
That they came at all times and seasons that they dined there one day
supped the next dined again on the next and were constantly to and fro on all
that they made parties to visit public places and met by accident at lounges
that upon all these occasions Miss Nickleby was exposed to the constant and
unremitting persecution of Sir Mulberry Hawk who now began to feel his
character even in the estimation of his two dependants involved in the
successful reduction of her pride that she had no intervals of peace or rest
except at those hours when she could sit in her solitary room and weep over the
trials of the day all these were consequences naturally flowing from the
welllaid plans of Sir Mulberry and their able execution by the auxiliaries
Pyke and Pluck
And thus for a fortnight matters went on That any but the weakest and
silliest of people could have seen in one interview that Lord Frederick
Verisopht though he was a lord and Sir Mulberry Hawk though he was a baronet
were not persons accustomed to be the best possible companions and were
certainly not calculated by habits manners tastes or conversation to shine
with any very great lustre in the society of ladies need scarcely be remarked
But with Mrs Wititterly the two titles were allsufficient coarseness became
humour vulgarity softened itself down into the most charming eccentricity
insolence took the guise of an easy absence of reserve attainable only by those
who had had the good fortune to mix with high folks
If the mistress put such a construction upon the behaviour of her new
friends what could the companion urge against them If they accustomed
themselves to very little restraint before the lady of the house with how much
more freedom could they address her paid dependant Nor was even this the worst
As the odious Sir Mulberry Hawk attached himself to Kate with less and less of
disguise Mrs Wititterly began to grow jealous of the superior attractions of
Miss Nickleby If this feeling had led to her banishment from the drawingroom
when such company was there Kate would have been only too happy and willing
that it should have existed but unfortunately for her she possessed that native
grace and true gentility of manner and those thousand nameless accomplishments
which give to female society its greatest charm if these be valuable anywhere
they were especially so where the lady of the house was a mere animated doll
The consequence was that Kate had the double mortification of being an
indispensable part of the circle when Sir Mulberry and his friends were there
and of being exposed on that very account to all Mrs Wititterlys illhumours
and caprices when they were gone She became utterly and completely miserable
Mrs Wititterly had never thrown off the mask with regard to Sir Mulberry
but when she was more than usually out of temper attributed the circumstance
as ladies sometimes do to nervous indisposition However as the dreadful idea
that Lord Frederick Verisopht also was somewhat taken with Kate and that she
Mrs Wititterly was quite a secondary person dawned upon that ladys mind and
gradually developed itself she became possessed with a large quantity of highly
proper and most virtuous indignation and felt it her duty as a married lady
and a moral member of society to mention the circumstance to the young person
without delay
Accordingly Mrs Wititterly broke ground next morning during a pause in the
novelreading
»Miss Nickleby« said Mrs Wititterly »I wish to speak to you very gravely
I am sorry to have to do it upon my word I am very sorry but you leave me no
alternative Miss Nickleby« Here Mrs Wititterly tossed her head not
passionately only virtuously and remarked with some appearance of
excitement that she feared that palpitation of the heart was coming on again
»Your behaviour Miss Nickleby« resumed the lady »is very far from
pleasing me very far I am very anxious indeed that you should do well but
you may depend upon it Miss Nickleby you will not if you go on as you do«
»Maam« exclaimed Kate proudly
»Dont agitate me by speaking in that way Miss Nickleby dont« said Mrs
Wititterly with some violence »or youll compel me to ring the bell«
Kate looked at her but said nothing
»You neednt suppose« resumed Mrs Wititterly »that your looking at me in
that way Miss Nickleby will prevent my saying what I am going to say which I
feel to be a religious duty You neednt direct your glances towards me« said
Mrs Wititterly with a sudden burst of spite »I am not Sir Mulberry no nor
Lord Frederick Verisopht Miss Nickleby nor am I Mr Pyke nor Mr Pluck
either«
Kate looked at her again but less steadily than before and resting her
elbow on the table covered her eyes with her hand
»If such things had been done when I was a young girl« said Mrs Wititterly
this by the way must have been some little time before »I dont suppose
anybody would have believed it«
»I dont think they would« murmured Kate »I do not think anybody would
believe without actually knowing it what I seemed doomed to undergo«
»Dont talk to me of being doomed to undergo Miss Nickleby if you please«
said Mrs Wititterly with a shrillness of tone quite surprising in so great an
invalid »I will not be answered Miss Nickleby I am not accustomed to be
answered nor will I permit it for an instant Do you hear« she added waiting
with some apparent inconsistency for an answer
»I do hear you maam« replied Kate »with surprise with greater surprise
than I can express«
»I have always considered you a particularly wellbehaved young person for
your station in life« said Mrs Wititterly »and as you are a person of healthy
appearance and neat in your dress and so forth I have taken an interest in
you as I do still considering that I owe a sort of duty to that respectable
old female your mother For these reasons Miss Nickleby I must tell you once
for all and begging you to mind what I say that I must insist upon your
immediately altering your very forward behaviour to the gentlemen who visit at
this house It really is not becoming« said Mrs Wititterly closing her chaste
eyes as she spoke »it is improper quite improper«
»Oh« cried Kate looking upwards and clasping her hands »is not this is
not this too cruel too hard to bear Is it not enough that I should have
suffered as I have night and day that I should almost have sunk in my own
estimation from very shame of having been brought into contact with such people
but must I also be exposed to this unjust and most unfounded charge«
»You will have the goodness to recollect Miss Nickleby« said Mrs
Wititterly »that when you use such terms as unjust and unfounded you charge
me in effect with stating that which is untrue«
»I do« said Kate with honest indignation »Whether you make this
accusation of yourself or at the prompting of others is alike to me I say it
is vilely grossly wilfully untrue Is it possible« cried Kate »that any one
of my own sex can have sat by and not have seen the misery these men have
caused me Is it possible that you maam can have been present and failed to
mark the insulting freedom that their every look bespoke Is it possible that
you can have avoided seeing that these libertines in their utter disrespect
for you and utter disregard of all gentlemanly behaviour and almost of
decency have had but one object in introducing themselves here and that the
furtherance of their designs upon a friendless helpless girl who without this
humiliating confession might have hoped to receive from one so much her senior
something like womanly aid and sympathy I do not I cannot believe it«
If poor Kate had possessed the slightest knowledge of the world she
certainly would not have ventured even in the excitement into which she had
been lashed upon such an injudicious speech as this. Its effect was precisely
what a more experienced observer would have foreseen Mrs Wititterly received
the attack upon her veracity with exemplary calmness and listened with the most
heroic fortitude to Kates account of her own sufferings But allusion being
made to her being held in disregard by the gentlemen she evinced violent
emotion and this blow was no sooner followed up by the remark concerning her
seniority than she fell back upon the sofa uttering dismal screams
»What is the matter« cried Mr Wititterly bouncing into the room
»Heavens what do I see Julia Julia look up my life look up«
But Julia looked down most perseveringly and screamed still louder so Mr
Wititterly rang the bell and danced in a frenzied manner round the sofa on
which Mrs Wititterly lay uttering perpetual cries for Sir Tumley Snuffim and
never once leaving off to ask for any explanation of the scene before him
»Run for Sir Tumley« cried Mr Wititterly menacing the page with both
fists »I knew it Miss Nickleby« he said looking round with an air of
melancholy triumph »that society has been too much for her This is all soul
you know every bit of it« With this assurance Mr Wititterly took up the
prostrate form of Mrs Wititterly and carried her bodily off to bed
Kate waited until Sir Tumley Snuffim had paid his visit and looked in with a
report that through the special interposition of a merciful Providence thus
spake Sir Tumley Mrs Wititterly had gone to sleep She then hastily attired
herself for walking and leaving word that she should return within a couple of
hours hurried away towards her uncles house
It had been a good day with Ralph Nickleby quite a lucky day As he walked
to and fro in his little back room with his hands clasped behind him adding up
in his own mind all the sums that had been or would be netted from the
business done since morning his mouth was drawn into a hard stern smile while
the firmness of the lines and curves that made it up as well as the cunning
glance of his cold bright eye seemed to tell that if any resolution or cunning
would increase the profits they would not fail to be exerted for the purpose
»Very good« said Ralph in allusion no doubt to some proceeding of the
day »He defies the usurer does he Well we shall see Honesty is the best
policy is it Well try that too«
He stopped and then walked on again
»He is content« said Ralph relaxing into a smile »to set his known
character and conduct against the power of money Dross as he calls it Why
what a dull blockhead this fellow must be Dross too dross Whos that«
»Me« said Newman Noggs looking in »Your niece«
»What of her« asked Ralph sharply
»Shes here«
»Here«
Newman jerked his head towards his little room to signify that she was
waiting there
»What does she want« asked Ralph
»I dont know« rejoined Newman »Shall I ask« he added quickly
»No« replied Ralph »Show her in Stay« He hastily put away a padlocked
cashbox that was on the table and substituted in its stead an empty purse
»There« said Ralph »Now she may come in«
Newman with a grim smile at this manoeuvre beckoned the young lady to
advance and having placed a chair for her retired looking stealthily over his
shoulder at Ralph as he limped slowly out
»Well« said Ralph roughly enough but still with something more of
kindness in his manner than he would have exhibited towards anybody else »Well
my dear What now«
Kate raised her eyes which were filled with tears and with an effort to
master her emotion strove to speak but in vain So drooping her head again she
remained silent Her face was hidden from his view but Ralph could see that she
was weeping
»I can guess the cause of this« thought Ralph after looking at her for
some time in silence »I can I can guess the cause Well Well« thought
Ralph for the moment quite disconcerted as he watched the anguish of his
beautiful niece »Where is the harm Only a few tears and its an excellent
lesson for her an excellent lesson«
»What is the matter« asked Ralph drawing a chair opposite and sitting
down
He was rather taken aback by the sudden firmness with which Kate looked up
and answered him
»The matter which brings me to you sir« she said »is one which should
call the blood up into your cheeks and make you burn to hear as it does me to
tell I have been wronged my feelings have been outraged insulted wounded
past all healing and by your friends«
»Friends« cried Ralph sternly »I have no friends girl«
»By the men I saw here then« returned Kate quickly »If they were no
friends of yours and you knew what they were oh the more shame on you
uncle for bringing me among them To have subjected me to what I was exposed to
here through any misplaced confidence or imperfect knowledge of your guests
would have required some strong excuse but if you did it as I now believe you
did knowing them well it was most dastardly and cruel«
Ralph drew back in utter amazement at this plain speaking and regarded Kate
with the sternest look But she met his gaze proudly and firmly and although
her face was very pale it looked more noble and handsome lighted up as it was
than it had ever appeared before
»There is some of that boys blood in you I see« said Ralph speaking in
his harshest tones as something in the flashing eye reminded him of Nicholas at
their last meeting
»I hope there is« replied Kate »I should be proud to know it I am young
uncle and all the difficulties and miseries of my situation have kept it down
but I have been roused today beyond all endurance and come what may I will
not as I am your brothers child bear these insults longer«
»What insults girl« demanded Ralph sharply
»Remember what took place here and ask yourself« replied Kate colouring
deeply »Uncle you must I am sure you will release me from such vile and
degrading companionship as I am exposed to now I do not mean« said Kate
hurrying to the old man and laying her arm upon his shoulder »I do not mean to
be angry and violent I beg your pardon if I have seemed so dear uncle but
you do not know what I have suffered you do not indeed You cannot tell what
the heart of a young girl is I have no right to expect you should but when I
tell you that I am wretched and that my heart is breaking I am sure you will
help me I am sure I am sure you will«
Ralph looked at her for an instant then turned away his head and beat his
foot nervously upon the ground
»I have gone on day after day« said Kate bending over him and timidly
placing her little hand in his »in the hope that this persecution would cease
I have gone on day after day compelled to assume the appearance of
cheerfulness when I was most unhappy I have had no counsellor no adviser no
one to protect me Mama supposes that these are honorable men rich and
distinguished and how can I how can I undeceive her when she is so happy in
these little delusions which are the only happiness she has The lady with whom
you placed me is not the person to whom I could confide matters of so much
delicacy and I have come at last to you the only friend I have at hand
almost the only friend I have at all to intreat and implore you to assist me«
»How can I assist you child« said Ralph rising from his chair and pacing
up and down the room in his old attitude
»You have influence with one of these men I know« rejoined Kate
emphatically »Would not a word from you induce them to desist from this unmanly
course«
»No« said Ralph suddenly turning »at least that I cant say it if it
would«
»Cant say it«
»No« said Ralph coming to a dead stop and clasping his hands more tightly
behind him »I cant say it«
Kate fell back a step or two and looked at him as if in doubt whether she
had heard aright
»We are connected in business« said Ralph poising himself alternately on
his toes and heels and looking coolly in his nieces face »in business and I
cant afford to offend them What is it after all We have all our trials and
this is one of yours Some girls would be proud to have such gallants at their
feet«
»Proud« cried Kate
»I dont say« rejoined Ralph raising his forefinger »but that you do
right to despise them no you show your good sense in that as indeed I knew
from the first you would Well In all other respects you are comfortably
bestowed Its not much to bear If this young lord does dog your footsteps and
whisper his drivelling inanities in your ears what of it Its a dishonorable
passion So be it it wont last long Some other novelty will spring up one
day and you will be released In the mean time «
»In the mean time« interrupted Kate with becoming pride and indignation
»I am to be the scorn of my own sex and the toy of the other justly condemned
by all women of right feeling and despised by all honest and honorable men
sunken in my own esteem and degraded in every eye that looks upon me No not
if I work my fingers to the bone not if I am driven to the roughest and hardest
labour Do not mistake me I will not disgrace your recommendation I will
remain in the house in which it placed me until I am entitled to leave it by
the terms of my engagement though mind I see these men no more When I quit
it I will hide myself from them and you and striving to support my mother by
hard service I will live at least in peace and trust in God to help me«
With these words she waved her hand and quitted the room leaving Ralph
Nickleby motionless as a statue
The surprise with which Kate as she closed the roomdoor beheld close
beside it Newman Noggs standing bolt upright in a little niche in the wall like
some scarecrow or Guy Faux laid up in winter quarters almost occasioned her to
call aloud But Newman laying his finger upon his lips she had the presence of
mind to refrain
»Dont« said Newman gliding out of his recess and accompanying her across
the hall »Dont cry dont cry« Two very large tears bythebye were running
down Newmans face as he spoke
»I see how it is« said poor Noggs drawing from his pocket what seemed to
be a very old duster and wiping Kates eyes with it as gently as if she were
an infant »Youre giving way now Yes yes very good thats right I like
that It was right not to give way before him Yes yes Ha ha ha Oh yes
Poor thing«
With these disjointed exclamations Newman wiped his own eyes with the
aforementioned duster and limping to the streetdoor opened it to let her
out
»Dont cry any more« whispered Newman »I shall see you soon Ha ha ha
And so shall somebody else too Yes yes Ho ho«
»God bless you« answered Kate hurrying out »God bless you«
»Same to you« rejoined Newman opening the door again a little way to say
so »Ha ha ha Ho ho ho«
And Newman Noggs opened the door once again to nod cheerfully and laugh
and shut it to shake his head mournfully and cry
Ralph remained in the same attitude till he heard the noise of the closing
door when he shrugged his shoulders and after a few turns about the room
hasty at first but gradually becoming slower as he relapsed into himself sat
down before his desk
It is one of those problems of human nature which may be noted down but
not solved although Ralph felt no remorse at that moment for his conduct
towards the innocent truehearted girl although his libertine clients had done
precisely what he had expected precisely what he most wished and precisely
what would tend most to his advantage still he hated them for doing it from
the very bottom of his soul
»Ugh« said Ralph scowling round and shaking his clenched hand as the
faces of the two profligates rose up before his mind »you shall pay for this
Oh you shall pay for this«
As the usurer turned for consolation to his books and papers a performance
was going on outside his officedoor which would have occasioned him no small
surprise if he could by any means have become acquainted with it
Newman Noggs was the sole actor He stood at a little distance from the
door with his face towards it and with the sleeves of his coat turned back at
the wrists was occupied in bestowing the most vigorous scientific and
straightforward blows upon the empty air
At first sight this would have appeared merely a wise precaution in a man
of sedentary habits with the view of opening the chest and strengthening the
muscles of the arms But the intense eagerness and joy depicted in the face of
Newman Noggs which was suffused with perspiration the surprising energy with
which he directed a constant succession of blows towards a particular panel
about five feet eight from the ground and still worked away in the most
untiring and persevering manner would have sufficiently explained to the
attentive observer that his imagination was threshing to within an inch of his
life his bodys most active employer Mr Ralph Nickleby
Chapter XXIX
Of the Proceedings of Nicholas and Certain Internal Divisions in the Company of
Mr Vincent Crummles
The unexpected success and favour with which his experiment at Portsmouth had
been received induced Mr Crummles to prolong his stay in that town for a
fortnight beyond the period he had originally assigned for the duration of his
visit during which time Nicholas personated a vast variety of characters with
undiminished success and attracted so many people to the theatre who had never
been seen there before that a benefit was considered by the manager a very
promising speculation Nicholas assenting to the terms proposed the benefit was
had and by it he realised no less a sum than twenty pounds
Possessed of this unexpected wealth his first act was to enclose to honest
John Browdie the amount of his friendly loan which he accompanied with many
expressions of gratitude and esteem and many cordial wishes for his matrimonial
happiness To Newman Noggs he forwarded one half of the sum he had realised
entreating him to take an opportunity of handing it to Kate in secret and
conveying to her the warmest assurances of his love and affection He made no
mention of the way in which he had employed himself merely informing Newman
that a letter addressed to him under his assumed name at the Post Office
Portsmouth would readily find him and entreating that worthy friend to write
full particulars of the situation of his mother and sister and an account of
all the grand things that Ralph Nickleby had done for them since his departure
from London
»You are out of spirits« said Smike on the night after the letter had been
dispatched
»Not I« rejoined Nicholas with assumed gaiety for the confession would
have made the boy miserable all night »I was thinking about my sister Smike«
»Sister«
»Aye«
»Is she like you« inquired Smike
»Why so they say« replied Nicholas laughing »only a great deal
handsomer«
»She must be very beautiful« said Smike after thinking a little while with
his hands folded together and his eyes bent upon his friend
»Anybody who didnt know you as well as I do my dear fellow would say you
were an accomplished courtier« said Nicholas
»I dont even know what that is« replied Smike shaking his head »Shall I
ever see your sister«
»To be sure« cried Nicholas »we shall all be together one of these days
when we are rich Smike«
»How is it that you who are so kind and good to me have nobody to be kind
to you« asked Smike »I cannot make that out«
»Why it is a long story« replied Nicholas »and one you would have some
difficulty in comprehending I fear I have an enemy you understand what that
is«
»Oh yes I understand that« said Smike
»Well it is owing to him« returned Nicholas »He is rich and not so
easily punished as your old enemy Mr Squeers He is my uncle but he is a
villain and has done me wrong«
»Has he though« asked Smike bending eagerly forward »What is his name
Tell me his name«
»Ralph Ralph Nickleby«
»Ralph Nickleby« repeated Smike »Ralph Ill get that name by heart«
He had muttered it over to himself some twenty times when a loud knock at
the door disturbed him from his occupation Before he could open it Mr Folair
the pantomimist thrust in his head
Mr Folairs head was usually decorated with a very round hat unusually
high in the crown and curled up quite tight in the brims On the present
occasion he wore it very much on one side with the back part forward in
consequence of its being the least rusty round his neck he wore a flaming red
worsted comforter whereof the straggling ends peeped out beneath his threadbare
Newmarket coat which was very tight and buttoned all the way up He carried in
his hand one very dirty glove and a cheap dress cane with a glass handle in
short his whole appearance was unusually dashing and demonstrated a far more
scrupulous attention to his toilet than he was in the habit of bestowing upon
it
»Good evening sir« said Mr Folair taking off the tall hat and running
his fingers through his hair »I bring a communication Hem«
»From whom and what about« inquired Nicholas »You are unusually mysterious
tonight«
»Cold perhaps« returned Mr Folair »cold perhaps That is the fault of
my position not of myself Mr Johnson My position as a mutual friend
requires it sir« Mr Folair paused with a most impressive look and diving
into the hat before noticed drew from thence a small piece of whitybrown paper
curiously folded whence he brought forth a note which it had served to keep
clean and handing it over to Nicholas said
»Have the goodness to read that sir«
Nicholas in a state of much amazement took the note and broke the seal
glancing at Mr Folair as he did so who knitting his brow and pursing up his
mouth with great dignity was sitting with his eyes steadily fixed upon the
ceiling
It was directed to blank Johnson Esq by favour of Augustus Folair Esq
and the astonishment of Nicholas was in no degree lessened when he found it to
be couched in the following laconic terms
»Mr Lenville presents his kind regards to Mr Johnson and will feel
obliged if he will inform him at what hour tomorrow morning it will be
most convenient to him to meet Mr L at the Theatre for the purpose of
having his nose pulled in the presence of the company
Mr Lenville requests Mr Johnson not to neglect making an
appointment as he has invited two or three professional friends to
witness the ceremony and cannot disappoint them upon any account
whatever
Portsmouth Tuesday night«
Indignant as he was at this impertinence there was something so exquisitely
absurd in such a cartel of defiance that Nicholas was obliged to bite his lip
and read the note over two or three times before he could muster sufficient
gravity and sternness to address the hostile messenger who had not taken his
eyes from the ceiling nor altered the expression of his face in the slightest
degree
»Do you know the contents of this note sir« he asked at length
»Yes« rejoined Mr Folair looking round for an instant and immediately
carrying his eyes back again to the ceiling
»And how dare you bring it here sir« asked Nicholas tearing it into very
little pieces and jerking it in a shower towards the messenger »Had you no
fear of being kicked down stairs sir«
Mr Folair turned his head now ornamented with several fragments of the
note towards Nicholas and with the same imperturbable dignity briefly
replied »No«
»Then« said Nicholas taking up the tall hat and tossing it towards the
door »you had better follow that article of your dress sir or you may find
yourself very disagreeably deceived and that within a dozen seconds«
»I say Johnson« remonstrated Mr Folair suddenly losing all his dignity
»none of that you know No tricks with a gentlemans wardrobe«
»Leave the room« returned Nicholas »How could you presume to come here on
such an errand you scoundrel«
»Pooh pooh« said Mr Folair unwinding his comforter and gradually
getting himself out of it »There thats enough«
»Enough« cried Nicholas advancing towards him »Take yourself off sir«
»Pooh pooh I tell you« returned Mr Folair waving his hand in
deprecation of any further wrath »I wasnt in earnest I only brought it in
joke«
»You had better be careful how you indulge in such jokes again« said
Nicholas »or you may find an allusion to pulling noses rather a dangerous
reminder for the subject of your facetiousness Was it written in joke too
pray«
»No no thats the best of it« returned the actor »right down earnest
honor bright«
Nicholas could not repress a smile at the odd figure before him which at
all times more calculated to provoke mirth than anger was especially so at that
moment when with one knee upon the ground Mr Folair twirled his old hat round
upon his hand and affected the extremest agony lest any of the nap should have
been knocked off an ornament which it is almost superfluous to say it had not
boasted for many months
»Come sir« said Nicholas laughing in spite of himself »Have the goodness
to explain«
»Why Ill tell you how it is« said Mr Folair sitting himself down in a
chair with great coolness »Since you came here Lenville has done nothing but
second business and instead of having a reception every night as he used to
have they have let him come on as if he was nobody«
»What do you mean by a reception« asked Nicholas
»Jupiter« exclaimed Mr Folair »what an unsophisticated shepherd you are
Johnson Why applause from the house when you first come on So he has gone on
night after night never getting a hand and you getting a couple of rounds at
least and sometimes three till at length he got quite desperate and had half
a mind last night to play Tybalt with a real sword and pink you not
dangerously but just enough to lay you up for a month or two«
»Very considerate« remarked Nicholas
»Yes I think it was under the circumstances his professional reputation
being at stake« said Mr Folair quite seriously »But his heart failed him
and he cast about for some other way of annoying you and making himself popular
at the same time for thats the point Notoriety notoriety is the thing
Bless you if he had pinked you« said Mr Folair stopping to make a
calculation in his mind »it would have been worth ah it would have been
worth eight or ten shillings a week to him All the town would have come to see
the actor who nearly killed a man by mistake I shouldnt wonder if it had got
him an engagement in London However he was obliged to try some other mode of
getting popular and this one occurred to him Its a clever idea really If
you had shown the white feather and let him pull your nose hed have got it
into the paper if you had sworn the peace against him it would have been in
the paper too and hed have been just as much talked about as you dont you
see«
»Oh certainly« rejoined Nicholas »but suppose I were to turn the tables
and pull his nose what then Would that make his fortune«
»Why I dont think it would« replied Mr Folair scratching his head
»because there wouldnt be any romance about it and he wouldnt be favourably
known To tell you the truth though he didnt calculate much upon that for
youre always so mild spoken and are so popular among the women that we didnt
suspect you of showing fight If you did however he has a way of getting out
of it easily depend upon that«
»Has he« rejoined Nicholas »We will try tomorrow morning In the
meantime you can give whatever account of our interview you like best Good
night«
As Mr Folair was pretty well known among his fellowactors for a man who
delighted in mischief and was by no means scrupulous Nicholas had not much
doubt but that he had secretly prompted the tragedian in the course he had
taken and moreover that he would have carried his mission with a very high
hand if he had not been disconcerted by the very unexpected demonstrations with
which it had been received It was not worth his while to be serious with him
however so he dismissed the pantomimist with a gentle hint that if he offended
again it would be under the penalty of a broken head and Mr Folair taking the
caution in exceedingly good part walked away to confer with his principal and
give such an account of his proceedings as he might think best calculated to
carry on the joke
He had no doubt reported that Nicholas was in a state of extreme bodily
fear for when that young gentleman walked with much deliberation down to the
theatre next morning at the usual hour he found all the company assembled in
evident expectation and Mr Lenville with his severest stage face sitting
majestically on a table whistling defiance
Now the ladies were on the side of Nicholas and the gentlemen being
jealous were on the side of the disappointed tragedian so that the latter
formed a little group about the redoubtable Mr Lenville and the former looked
on at a little distance in some trepidation and anxiety On Nicholas stopping to
salute them Mr Lenville laughed a scornful laugh and made some general remark
touching the natural history of puppies
»Oh« said Nicholas looking quietly round »are you there«
»Slave« returned Mr Lenville flourishing his right arm and approaching
Nicholas with a theatrical stride But somehow he appeared just at that moment a
little startled as if Nicholas did not look quite so frightened as he had
expected and came all at once to an awkward halt at which the assembled ladies
burst into a shrill laugh
»Object of my scorn and hatred« said Mr Lenville »I hold ye in contempt«
Nicholas laughed in very unexpected enjoyment of this performance and the
ladies by way of encouragement laughed louder than before whereat Mr
Lenville assumed his bitterest smile and expressed his opinion that they were
minions
»But they shall not protect ye« said the tragedian taking an upward look
at Nicholas beginning at his boots and ending at the crown of his head and
then a downward one beginning at the crown of his head and ending at his boots
which two looks as everybody knows express defiance on the stage »They
shall not protect ye boy«
Thus speaking Mr Lenville folded his arms and treated Nicholas to that
expression of face with which in melodramatic performances he was in the
habit of regarding the tyrannical kings when they said »Away with him to the
deepest dungeon beneath the castle moat« and which accompanied with a little
jingling of fetters had been known to produce great effects in its time
Whether it was the absence of the fetters or not it made no very deep
impression on Mr Lenvilles adversary however but rather seemed to increase
the good humour expressed in his countenance in which stage of the contest one
or two gentlemen who had come out expressly to witness the pulling of
Nicholass nose grew impatient murmuring that if it were to be done at all it
had better be done at once and that if Mr Lenville didnt mean to do it he had
better say so and not keep them waiting there Thus urged the tragedian
adjusted the cuff of his right coat sleeve for the performance of the operation
and walked in a very stately manner up to Nicholas who suffered him to approach
to within the requisite distance and then without the smallest discomposure
knocked him down
Before the discomfited tragedian could raise his head from the boards Mrs
Lenville who as has been before hinted was in an interesting state rushed
from the rear rank of ladies and uttering a piercing scream threw herself upon
the body
»Do you see this monster Do you see this« cried Mr Lenville sitting up
and pointing to his prostrate lady who was holding him very tight round the
waist
»Come« said Nicholas nodding his head »apologize for the insolent note
you wrote to me last night and waste no more time in talking«
»Never« cried Mr Lenville
»Yes yes yes« screamed his wife »For my sake for mine Lenville
forego all idle forms unless you would see me a blighted corse at your feet«
»This is affecting« said Mr Lenville looking round him and drawing the
back of his hand across his eyes »The ties of nature are strong The weak
husband and the father the father that is yet to be relents I apologize«
»Humbly and submissively« said Nicholas
»Humbly and submissively« returned the tragedian scowling upward »But
only to save her for a time will come «
»Very good« said Nicholas »I hope Mrs Lenville may have a good one and
when it does come and you are a father you shall retract it if you have the
courage There Be careful sir to what lengths your jealousy carries you
another time and be careful also before you venture too far to ascertain
your rivals temper« With this parting advice Nicholas picked up Mr Lenvilles
ash stick which had flown out of his hand and breaking it in half threw him
the pieces and withdrew
The profoundest deference was paid to Nicholas that night and the people
who had been most anxious to have his nose pulled in the morning embraced
occasions of taking him aside and telling him with great feeling how very
friendly they took it that he should have treated that Lenville so properly who
was a most unbearable fellow and on whom they had all by a remarkable
coincidence at one time or other contemplated the infliction of condign
punishment which they had only been restrained from administering by
considerations of mercy indeed to judge from the invariable termination of all
these stories there never was such a charitable and kindhearted set of people
as the male members of Mr Crummless company
Nicholas bore his triumph as he had his success in the little world of the
theatre with the utmost moderation and good humour The crestfallen Mr
Lenville made an expiring effort to obtain revenge by sending a boy into the
gallery to hiss but he fell a sacrifice to popular indignation and was
promptly turned out without having his money back
»Well Smike« said Nicholas when the first piece was over and he had
almost finished dressing to go home »is there any letter yet«
»Yes« replied Smike »I got this one from the postoffice«
»From Newman Noggs« said Nicholas casting his eye upon the cramped
direction »its no easy matter to make his writing out Let me see let me
see«
By dint of poring over the letter for half an hour he contrived to make
himself master of the contents which were certainly not of a nature to set his
mind at ease Newman took upon himself to send back the ten pounds observing
that he had ascertained that neither Mrs Nickleby nor Kate was in actual want
of money at the moment and that a time might shortly come when Nicholas might
want it more He entreated him not to be alarmed at what he was about to say
there was no bad news they were in good health but he thought circumstances
might occur or were occurring which would render it absolutely necessary that
Kate should have her brothers protection and if so Newman said he would
write to him to that effect either by the next post or the next but one
Nicholas read this passage very often and the more he thought of it the
more he began to fear some treachery upon the part of Ralph Once or twice he
felt tempted to repair to London at all hazards without an hours delay but a
little reflection assured him that if such a step were necessary Newman would
have spoken out and told him so at once
»At all events I should prepare them here for the possibility of my going
away suddenly« said Nicholas »I should lose no time in doing that« As the
thought occurred to him he took up his hat and hurried to the greenroom
»Well Mr Johnson« said Mrs Crummles who was seated there in full regal
costume with the phenomenon as the Maiden in her maternal arms »next week for
Ryde then for Winchester then for «
»I have some reason to fear« interrupted Nicholas »that before you leave
here my career with you will have closed«
»Closed« cried Mrs Crummles raising her hands in astonishment
»Closed« cried Miss Snevellicci trembling so much in her tights that she
actually laid her hand upon the shoulder of the manageress for support
»Why he dont mean to say hes going« exclaimed Mrs Grudden making her
way towards Mrs Crummles »Hoity toity Nonsense«
The phenomenon, being of an affectionate nature and moreover excitable
raised a loud cry and Miss Belvawney and Miss Bravassa actually shed tears
Even the male performers stopped in their conversation and echoed the word
»Going« although some among them and they had been the loudest in their
congratulations that day winked at each other as though they would not be sorry
to lose such a favoured rival an opinion indeed which thy honest Mr Folair
who was ready dressed for the savage openly stated in so many words to a demon
with whom he was sharing a pot of porter
Nicholas briefly said that he feared it would be so although he could not
yet speak with any degree of certainty and getting away as soon as he could
went home to con Newmans letter once more and speculate upon it afresh
How trifling all that had been occupying his time and thoughts for many
weeks seemed to him during that sleepless night and how constantly and
incessantly present to his imagination was the one idea that Kate in the midst
of some great trouble and distress might even then be looking and vainly too
for him
Chapter XXX
Festivities Are Held in Honor of Nicholas who Suddenly Withdraws Himself from
the Society of Mr Vincent Crummles and His Theatrical Companions
Mr Vincent Crummles was no sooner acquainted with the public announcement which
Nicholas had made relative to the probability of his shortly ceasing to be a
member of the company than he evinced many tokens of grief and consternation
and in the extremity of his despair even held out certain vague promises of a
speedy improvement not only in the amount of his regular salary but also in the
contingent emoluments appertaining to his authorship Finding Nicholas bent upon
quitting the society for he had now determined that even if no further tidings
came from Newman he would at all hazards ease his mind by repairing to London
and ascertaining the exact position of his sister Mr Crummles was fain to
content himself by calculating the chances of his coming back again and taking
prompt and energetic measures to make the most of him before he went away
»Let me see« said Mr Crummles taking off his outlaws wig the better to
arrive at a coolheaded view of the whole case »Let me see This is Wednesday
night Well have posters out the first thing in the morning announcing
positively your last appearance for tomorrow«
»But perhaps it may not be my last appearance you know« said Nicholas
»Unless I am summoned away I should be sorry to inconvenience you by leaving
before the end of the week«
»So much the better« returned Mr Crummles »We can have positively your
last appearance on Thursday reengagement for one night more on Friday and
yielding to the wishes of numerous influential patrons who were disappointed in
obtaining seats on Saturday That ought to bring three very decent houses«
»Then I am to make three last appearances am I« inquired Nicholas
smiling
»Yes« rejoined the manager scratching his head with an air of some
vexation »three is not enough and its very bungling and irregular not to have
more but if we cant help it we cant so theres no use in talking A novelty
would be very desirable You couldnt sing a comic song on the ponys back
could you«
»No« replied Nicholas »I couldnt indeed«
»It has drawn money before now« said Mr Crummles with a look of
disappointment »What do you think of a brilliant display of fireworks«
»That it would be rather expensive« replied Nicholas drily
»Eighteenpence would do it« said Mr Crummles »You on the top of a pair of
steps with the phenomenon in an attitude Farewell on a transparency behind and
nine people at the wings with a squib in each hand all the dozen and a half
going off at once it would be very grand awful from the front quite awful«
As Nicholas appeared by no means impressed with the solemnity of the
proposed effect but on the contrary received the proposition in a most
irreverent manner and laughed at it very heartily Mr Crummles abandoned the
project in its birth and gloomily observed that they must make up the best bill
they could with combats and hornpipes and so stick to the legitimate drama
For the purpose of carrying this object into instant execution the manager
at once repaired to a small dressingroom adjacent where Mrs Crummles was
then occupied in exchanging the habiliments of a melodramatic empress for the
ordinary attire of matrons in the nineteenth century And with the assistance of
this lady and the accomplished Mrs Grudden who had quite a genius for making
out bills being a great hand at throwing in the notes of admiration and
knowing from long experience exactly where the largest capitals ought to go he
seriously applied himself to the composition of the poster
»Heigho« sighed Nicholas as he threw himself back in the prompters chair
after telegraphing the needful directions to Smike who had been playing a
meagre tailor in the interlude with one skirt to his coat and a little pocket
handkerchief with a large hole in it and a woollen nightcap and a red nose
and other distinctive marks peculiar to tailors on the stage »Heigho I wish
all this were over«
»Over Mr Johnson« repeated a female voice behind him in a kind of
plaintive surprise
»It was an ungallant speech certainly« said Nicholas looking up to see
who the speaker was and recognising Miss Snevellicci »I would not have made it
if I had known you had been within hearing«
»What a dear that Mr Digby is« said Miss Snevellicci as the tailor went
off on the opposite side at the end of the piece with great applause Smikes
theatrical name was Digby
»Ill tell him presently for his gratification that you said go« returned
Nicholas
»Oh you naughty thing« rejoined Miss Snevellicci »I dont know though
that I should much mind his knowing my opinion of him with some other people
indeed it might be « Here Miss Snevellicci stopped as though waiting to be
questioned but no questioning came for Nicholas was thinking about more
serious matters
»How kind it is of you« resumed Miss Snevellicci after a short silence
»to sit waiting here for him night after night night after night no matter how
tired you are and taking so much pains with him and doing it all with as much
delight and readiness as if you were coining gold by it«
»He well deserves all the kindness I can show him and a great deal more«
said Nicholas »He is the most grateful singlehearted affectionate creature
that ever breathed«
»So odd too« remarked Miss Snevellicci »isnt he«
»God help him and those who have made him so he is indeed« rejoined
Nicholas shaking his head
»He is such a devilish close chap« said Mr Folair who had come up a
little before and now joined in the conversation »Nobody can ever get anything
out of him«
»What should they get out of him« asked Nicholas turning round with some
abruptness
»Zooks what a fireeater you are Johnson« returned Mr Folair pulling up
the heel of his dancing shoe »Im only talking of the natural curiosity of the
people here to know what he has been about all his life«
»Poor fellow it is pretty plain I should think that he has not the
intellect to have been about anything of much importance to them or anybody
else« said Nicholas
»Ay« rejoined the actor contemplating the effect of his face in a lamp
reflector »but that involves the whole question you know«
»What question« asked Nicholas
»Why the who he is and what he is and how you two who are so different
came to be such close companions« replied Mr Folair delighted with the
opportunity of saying something disagreeable »Thats in everybodys mouth«
»The everybody of the theatre I suppose« said Nicholas contemptuously
»In it and out of it too« replied the actor »Why you know Lenville says
«
»I thought I had silenced him effectually« interrupted Nicholas reddening
»Perhaps you have« rejoined the immovable Mr Folair »if you have he said
this before he was silenced Lenville says that youre a regular stick of an
actor and that its only the mystery about you that has caused you to go down
with the people here and that Crummles keeps it up for his own sake though
Lenville says he dont believe theres anything at all in it except your having
got into a scrape and run away from somewhere for doing something or other«
»Oh« said Nicholas forcing a smile
»Thats a part of what he says« added Mr Folair »I mention it as the
friend of both parties and in strict confidence I dont agree with him you
know He says he takes Digby to be more knave than fool and old Fluggers who
does the heavy business you know he says that when he delivered messages at
Covent Garden the season before last there used to be a pickpocket hovering
about the coachstand who had exactly the face of Digby though as he very
properly says Digby may not be the same but only his brother or some near
relation«
»Oh« cried Nicholas again
»Yes« said Mr Folair with undisturbed calmness »thats what they say I
thought Id tell you because really you ought to know Oh heres this blessed
phenomenon at last Ugh you little imposition I should like to quite ready
my darling humbug Ring up Mrs Gr and let the favourite wake em«
Uttering in a loud voice such of the latter allusions as were complimentary
to the unconscious phenomenon and giving the rest in a confidential aside to
Nicholas Mr Folair followed the ascent of the curtain with his eyes regarded
with a sneer the reception of Miss Crummles as the Maiden and falling back a
step or two to advance with the better effect uttered a preliminary howl and
went on chattering his teeth and brandishing his tin tomahawk as the Indian
Savage
»So these are some of the stories they invent about us and bandy from mouth
to mouth« thought Nicholas »If a man would commit an inexpiable offence
against any society large or small let him be successful They will forgive
him any crime but that«
»You surely dont mind what that malicious creature says Mr Johnson«
observed Miss Snevellicci in her most winning tones
»Not I« replied Nicholas »If I were going to remain here I might think it
worth my while to embroil myself As it is let them talk till they are hoarse
But here« added Nicholas as Smike approached »here comes the subject of a
portion of their goodnature so let he and I say good night together«
»No I will not let either of you say anything of the kind« returned Miss
Snevellicci »You must come home and see mama who only came to Portsmouth
today and is dying to behold you Led my dear persuade Mr Johnson«
»Oh Im sure« returned Miss Ledrook with considerable vivacity »if you
cant persuade him « Miss Ledrook said no more but intimated by a dexterous
playfulness that if Miss Snevellicci couldnt persuade him nobody could
»Mr and Mrs Lillyvick have taken lodgings in our house and share our
sittingroom for the present« said Miss Snevellicci »Wont that induce you«
»Surely« returned Nicholas »I can require no possible inducement beyond
your invitation«
»Oh no I dare say« rejoined Miss Snevellicci And Miss Ledrook said »Upon
my word« Upon which Miss Snevellicci said that Miss Ledrook was a giddy thing
and Miss Ledrook said that Miss Snevellicci neednt colour up quite so much and
Miss Snevellicci beat Miss Ledrook and Miss Ledrook beat Miss Snevellicci
»Come« said Miss Ledrook »its high time we were there or we shall have
poor Mrs Snevellicci thinking that you have run away with her daughter Mr
Johnson and then we should have a pretty todo«
»My dear Led« remonstrated Miss Snevellicci »how you do talk«
Miss Ledrook made no answer but taking Smikes arm in hers left her friend
and Nicholas to follow at their pleasure which it pleased them or rather
pleased Nicholas who had no great fancy for a têteàtête under the
circumstances to do at once
There were not wanting matters of conversation when they reached the street
for it turned out that Miss Snevellicci had a small basket to carry home and
Miss Ledrook a small bandbox both containing such minor articles of theatrical
costume as the lady performers usually carried to and fro every evening
Nicholas would insist upon carrying the basket and Miss Snevellicci would
insist upon carrying it herself which gave rise to a struggle in which
Nicholas captured the basket and the bandbox likewise Then Nicholas said that
he wondered what could possibly be inside the basket and attempted to peep in
whereat Miss Snevellicci screamed and declared that if she thought he had seen
she was sure she should faint away This declaration was followed by a similar
attempt on the bandbox and similar demonstrations on the part of Miss Ledrook
and then both ladies vowed that they wouldnt move a step further until Nicholas
had promised that he wouldnt offer to peep again At last Nicholas pledged
himself to betray no further curiosity and they walked on both ladies giggling
very much and declaring that they never had seen such a wicked creature in all
their born days never
Lightening the way with such pleasantry as this they arrived at the
tailors house in no time and here they made quite a little party there being
present besides Mr Lillyvick and Mrs Lillyvick not only Miss Snevelliccis
mama but her papa also And an uncommonly fine man Miss Snevelliccis papa was
with a hook nose and a white forehead and curly black hair and high cheek
bones and altogether quite a handsome face only a little pimply as though with
drinking He had a very broad chest had Miss Snevelliccis papa and he wore a
threadbare blue dress coat buttoned with gilt buttons tight across it and he no
sooner saw Nicholas come into the room than he whipped the two fore fingers of
his right hand in between the two centre buttons and sticking his other arm
gracefully akimbo seemed to say »Now here I am my buck and what have you
got to say to me«
Such was and in such an attitude sat Miss Snevelliccis papa who had been
in the profession ever since he had first played the tenyearold imps in the
Christmas pantomimes who could sing a little dance a little fence a little
act a little and do everything a little but not much who had been sometimes
in the ballet and sometimes in the chorus at every theatre in London who was
always selected in virtue of his figure to play the military visitors and the
speechless noblemen who always wore a smart dress and came on arminarm with
a smart lady in short petticoats and always did it too with such an air that
people in the pit had been several times known to cry out »Bravo« under the
impression that he was somebody Such was Miss Snevelliccis papa upon whom
some envious persons cast the imputation that he occasionally beat Miss
Snevelliccis mama who was still a dancer with a neat little figure and some
remains of good looks and who now sat as she danced being rather too old
for the full glare of the footlights in the back ground
To these good people Nicholas was presented with much formality The
introduction being completed Miss Snevelliccis papa who was scented with rum
and water said that he was delighted to make the acquaintance of a gentleman so
highly talented and furthermore remarked that there hadnt been such a hit
made no not since the first appearance of his friend Mr Glavormelly at the
Coburg
»You have seen him sir« said Miss Snevelliccis papa
»No really I never did« replied Nicholas
»You never saw my friend Glavormelly sir« said Miss Snevelliccis papa
»Then you have never seen acting yet If he had lived «
»Oh he is dead is he« interrupted Nicholas
»He is« said Mr Snevellicci »but he isnt in Westminster Abbey mores
the shame He was a Well no matter He is gone to that bourne from whence no
traveller returns I hope he is appreciated there«
So saying Miss Snevelliccis papa rubbed the tip of his nose with a very
yellow silk handkerchief and gave the company to understand that these
recollections overcame him
»Well Mr Lillyvick« said Nicholas »and how are you«
»Quite well sir« replied the collector »There is nothing like the married
state sir depend upon it«
»Indeed« said Nicholas laughing
»Nothing like it sir« replied Mr Lillyvick solemnly »How do you think«
whispered the collector drawing him aside »How do you think she looks
tonight«
»As handsome as ever« replied Nicholas glancing at the late Miss Petowker
»Why theres a air about her sir« whispered the collector »that I never
saw in anybody Look at her now she moves to put the kettle on There Isnt it
fascination sir«
»Youre a lucky man« said Nicholas
»Ha ha ha« rejoined the collector »No Do you think I am though eh
Perhaps I may be perhaps I may be I say I couldnt have done much better if I
had been a young man could I You couldnt have done much better yourself
could you eh could you« With such inquiries and many more such Mr
Lillyvick jerked his elbow into Nicholass side and chuckled till his face
became quite purple in the attempt to keep down his satisfaction
By this time the cloth had been laid under the joint superintendence of all
the ladies upon two tables put together one being high and narrow and the
other low and broad There were oysters at the top sausages at the bottom a
pair of snuffers in the centre and baked potatoes wherever it was most
convenient to put them Two additional chairs were brought in from the bedroom
Miss Snevellicci sat at the head of the table and Mr Lillyvick at the foot
and Nicholas had not only the honor of sitting next Miss Snevellicci but of
having Miss Snevelliccis mama on his right hand and Miss Snevelliccis papa
over the way In short he was the hero of the feast and when the table was
cleared and something warm introduced Miss Snevelliccis papa got up and
proposed his health in a speech containing such affecting allusions to his
coming departure that Miss Snevellicci wept and was compelled to retire into
the bedroom
»Hush Dont take any notice of it« said Miss Ledrook peeping in from the
bedroom »Say when she comes back that she exerts herself too much«
Miss Ledrook eked out this speech with so many mysterious nods and frowns
before she shut the door again that a profound silence came upon all the
company during which Miss Snevelliccis papa looked very big indeed several
sizes larger than life at everybody in turn but particularly at Nicholas and
kept on perpetually emptying his tumbler and filling it again until the ladies
returned in a cluster with Miss Snevellicci among them
»You neednt alarm yourself a bit Mr Snevellicci« said Mrs Lillyvick
»She is only a little weak and nervous she has been so ever since the morning«
»Oh« said Mr Snevellicci »thats all is it«
»Oh yes thats all Dont make a fuss about it« cried all the ladies
together
Now this was not exactly the kind of reply suited to Mr Snevelliccis
importance as a man and a father so he picked out the unfortunate Mrs
Snevellicci and asked her what the devil she meant by talking to him in that
way
»Dear me my dear« said Mrs Snevellicci
»Dont call me your dear maam« said Mr Snevellicci »if you please«
»Pray pa dont« interposed Miss Snevellicci
»Dont what my child«
»Talk in that way«
»Why not« said Mr Snevellicci »I hope you dont suppose theres anybody
here who is to prevent my talking as I like«
»Nobody wants to pa« rejoined his daughter
»Nobody would if they did want to« said Mr Snevellicci »I am not ashamed
of myself Snevellicci is my name Im to be found in Broad Court Bow Street
when Im in town If Im not at home let any man ask for me at the stage door
Damme they know me at the stage door I suppose Most men have seen my portrait
at the cigar shop round the corner Ive been mentioned in the newspapers before
now havent I Talk Ill tell you what if I found out that any man had been
tampering with the affections of my daughter I wouldnt talk Id astonish him
without talking thats my way«
So saying Mr Snevellicci struck the palm of his left hand three smart
blows with his clenched fist pulled a phantom nose with his right thumb and
fore finger and swallowed another glassful at a draught »Thats my way«
repeated Mr Snevellicci
Most public characters have their failings and the truth is that Mr
Snevellicci was a little addicted to drinking or if the whole truth must be
told that he was scarcely ever sober He knew in his cups three distinct stages
of intoxication the dignified the quarrelsome the amorous When
professionally engaged he never got beyond the dignified in private circles he
went through all three passing from one to another with a rapidity of
transition often rather perplexing to those who had not the honor of his
acquaintance
Thus Mr Snevellicci had no sooner swallowed another glassful than he smiled
upon all present in happy forgetfulness of having exhibited symptoms of
pugnacity and proposed »The ladies Bless their hearts« in a most vivacious
manner
»I love em« said Mr Snevellicci looking round the table »I love em
every one«
»Not every one« reasoned Mr Lillyvick mildly
»Yes every one« repeated Mr Snevellicci
»That would include the married ladies you know« said Mr Lillyvick
»I love them too sir« said Mr Snevellicci
The collector looked into the surrounding faces with an aspect of grave
astonishment seeming to say »This is a nice man« and appeared a little
surprised that Mrs Lillyvicks manner yielded no evidences of horror and
indignation
»One good turn deserves another« said Mr Snevellicci »I love them and
they love me« And as if this avowal were not made in sufficient disregard and
defiance of all moral obligations what did Mr Snevellicci do He winked
winked openly and undisguisedly winked with his right eye upon Henrietta
Lillyvick
The collector fell back in his chair in the intensity of his astonishment
If anybody had winked at her as Henrietta Petowker it would have been
indecorous in the last degree but as Mrs Lillyvick While he thought of it in
a cold perspiration and wondered whether it was possible that he could be
dreaming Mr Snevellicci repeated the wink and drinking to Mrs Lillyvick in
dumb show actually blew her a kiss Mr Lillyvick left his chair walked
straight up to the other end of the table and fell upon him literally fell
upon him instantaneously Mr Lillyvick was no light weight and consequently
when he fell upon Mr Snevellicci Mr Snevellicci fell under the table Mr
Lillyvick followed him and the ladies screamed
»What is the matter with the men Are they mad« cried Nicholas diving
under the table dragging up the collector by main force and thrusting him all
doubled up into a chair as if he had been a stuffed figure »What do you mean
to do What do you want to do What is the matter with you«
While Nicholas raised up the collector Smike had performed the same office
for Mr Snevellicci who now regarded his late adversary in tipsy amazement
»Look here sir« replied Mr Lillyvick pointing to his astonished wife
»here is purity and elegance combined whose feelings have been outraged
violated sir«
»Lor what nonsense he talks« exclaimed Mrs Lillyvick in answer to the
inquiring look of Nicholas »Nobody has said anything to me«
»Said Henrietta« cried the collector »Didnt I see him « Mr Lillyvick
couldnt bring himself to utter the word but he counterfeited the motion of the
eye
»Well« cried Mrs Lillyvick »Do you suppose nobody is ever to look at me
A pretty thing to be married indeed if that was law«
»You didnt mind it« cried the collector
»Mind it« repeated Mrs Lillyvick contemptuously »You ought to go down on
your knees and beg everybodys pardon that you ought«
»Pardon my dear« said the dismayed collector
»Yes and mine first« replied Mrs Lillyvick »Do you suppose I aint the
best judge of whats proper and whats improper«
»To be sure« cried all the ladies »Do you suppose we shouldnt be the
first to speak if there was anything that ought to be taken notice of«
»Do you suppose they dont know sir« said Miss Snevelliccis papa pulling
up his collar and muttering something about a punching of heads and being only
withheld by considerations of age With which Miss Snevelliccis papa looked
steadily and sternly at Mr Lillyvick for some seconds and then rising
deliberately from his chair kissed the ladies all round beginning with Mrs
Lillyvick
The unhappy collector looked piteously at his wife as if to see whether
there was any one trait of Miss Petowker left in Mrs Lillyvick and finding too
surely that there was not begged pardon of all the company with great humility
and sat down such a crestfallen dispirited disenchanted man that despite all
his selfishness and dotage he was quite an object of compassion
Miss Snevelliccis papa being greatly exalted by this triumph and
incontestable proof of his popularity with the fair sex quickly grew convivial
not to say uproarious volunteering more than one song of no inconsiderable
length and regaling the social circle betweenwhiles with recollections of
divers splendid women who had been supposed to entertain a passion for himself
several of whom he toasted by name taking occasion to remark at the same time
that if he had been a little more alive to his own interest he might have been
rolling at that moment in his chariotandfour These reminiscences appeared to
awaken no very torturing pangs in the breast of Mrs Snevellicci who was
sufficiently occupied in descanting to Nicholas upon the manifold
accomplishments and merits of her daughter Nor was the young lady herself at
all behindhand in displaying her choicest allurements but these heightened as
they were by the artifices of Miss Ledrook had no effect whatever in increasing
the attentions of Nicholas who with the precedent of Miss Squeers still fresh
in his memory steadily resisted every fascination and placed so strict a guard
upon his behaviour that when he had taken his leave the ladies were unanimous in
pronouncing him quite a monster of insensibility
Next day the posters appeared in due course and the public were informed
in all the colours of the rainbow and in letters afflicted with every possible
variation of spinal deformity how that Mr Johnson would have the honor of
making his last appearance that evening and how that an early application for
places was requested in consequence of the extraordinary overflow attendant on
his performances It being a remarkable fact in theatrical history but one long
since established beyond dispute that it is a hopeless endeavour to attract
people to a theatre unless they can be first brought to believe that they will
never get into it
Nicholas was somewhat at a loss on entering the theatre at night to
account for the unusual perturbation and excitement visible in the countenances
of all the company but he was not long in doubt as to the cause for before he
could make any inquiry respecting it Mr Crummles approached and in an agitated
tone of voice informed him that there was a London manager in the boxes
»Its the phenomenon, depend upon it sir« said Crummles dragging Nicholas
to the little hole in the curtain that he might look through at the London
manager »I have not the smallest doubt its the fame of the phenomenon thats
the man him in the greatcoat and no shirtcollar She shall have ten pound
aweek Johnson she shall not appear on the London boards for a farthing less
They shant engage her either unless they engage Mrs Crummles too twenty
pound aweek for the pair or Ill tell you what Ill throw in myself and the
two boys and they shall have the family for thirty I cant say fairer than
that They must take us all if none of us will go without the others Thats
the way some of the London people do and it always answers Thirty pound
aweek Its too cheap Johnson Its dirt cheap«
Nicholas replied that it certainly was and Mr Vincent Crummles taking
several huge pinches of snuff to compose his feelings hurried away to tell Mrs
Crummles that he had quite settled the only terms that could be accepted and
had resolved not to abate one single farthing
When everybody was dressed and the curtain went up the excitement
occasioned by the presence of the London manager increased a thousandfold
Everybody happened to know that the London manager had come down specially to
witness his or her own performance and all were in a flutter of anxiety and
expectation Some of those who were not on in the first scene hurried to the
wings and there stretched their necks to have a peep at him others stole up
into the two little private boxes over the stagedoors and from that position
reconnoitered the London manager Once the London manager was seen to smile He
smiled at the comic countrymans pretending to catch a bluebottle while Mrs
Crummles was making her greatest effect »Very good my fine fellow« said Mr
Crummles shaking his fist at the comic countryman when he came off »you leave
this company next Saturday night«
In the same way everybody who was on the stage beheld no audience but one
individual everybody played to the London manager When Mr Lenville in a
sudden burst of passion called the emperor a miscreant and then biting his
glove said »But I must dissemble« instead of looking gloomily at the boards
and so waiting for his cue as is proper in such cases he kept his eye fixed
upon the London manager When Miss Bravassa sang her song at her lover who
according to custom stood ready to shake hands with her between the verses they
looked not at each other but at the London manager Mr Crummles died point
blank at him and when the two guards came in to take the body off after a very
hard death it was seen to open its eyes and glance at the London manager At
length the London manager was discovered to be asleep and shortly after that he
woke up and went away whereupon all the company fell foul of the unhappy comic
countryman declaring that his buffoonery was the sole cause and Mr Crummles
said that he had put up with it a long time but that he really couldnt stand
it any longer and therefore would feel obliged by his looking out for another
engagement
All this was the occasion of much amusement to Nicholas whose only feeling
upon the subject was one of sincere satisfaction that the great man went away
before he appeared He went through his part in the two last pieces as briskly
as he could and having been received with unbounded favour and unprecedented
applause so said the bills for next day which had been printed an hour or two
before he took Smikes arm and walked home to bed
With the post next morning came a letter from Newman Noggs very inky very
short very dirty very small and very mysterious urging Nicholas to return to
London instantly not to lose an instant to be there at night if possible
»I will« said Nicholas »Heaven knows I have remained here for the best
and sorely against my own will but even now I may have dallied too long What
can have happened Smike my good fellow here take my purse Put our things
together and pay what little debts we owe quick and we shall be in time for
the morning coach I will only tell them that we are going and will return to
you immediately«
So saying he took his hat and hurrying away to the lodgings of Mr
Crummles applied his hand to the knocker with such hearty goodwill that he
awakened that gentleman who was still in bed and caused Mr Bulph the pilot to
take his mornings pipe very nearly out of his mouth in the extremity of his
surprise
The door being opened Nicholas ran up stairs without any ceremony and
bursting into the darkened sittingroom on the one pair front found that the
two Master Crummleses had sprung out of the sofabedstead and were putting on
their clothes with great rapidity under the impression that it was the middle
of the night and the next house was on fire
Before he could undeceive them Mr Crummles came down in a flannelgown and
nightcap and to him Nicholas briefly explained that circumstances had occurred
which rendered it necessary for him to repair to London immediately
»So good bye« said Nicholas »good bye good bye«
He was halfway down stairs before Mr Crummles had sufficiently recovered
his surprise to gasp out something about the posters
»I cant help it« replied Nicholas »Set whatever I may have earned this
week against them or if that will not repay you say at once what will Quick
quick«
»Well cry quits about that« returned Crummles »But cant we have one last
night more«
»Not an hour not a minute« replied Nicholas impatiently
»Wont you stop to say something to Mrs Crummles« asked the manager
following him down to the door
»I couldnt stop if it were to prolong my life a score of years« rejoined
Nicholas »Here take my hand and with it my hearty thanks Oh that I should
have been fooling here«
Accompanying these words with an impatient stamp upon the ground he tore
himself from the managers detaining grasp and darting rapidly down the street
was out of sight in an instant
»Dear me dear me« said Mr Crummles looking wistfully towards the point
at which he had just disappeared »if he only acted like that what a deal of
money hed draw He should have kept upon this circuit hed have been very
useful to me But he dont know whats good for him He is an impetuous youth
Young men are rash very rash«
Mr Crummles being in a moralising mood might possibly have moralised for
some minutes longer if he had not mechanically put his hand towards his
waistcoat pocket where he was accustomed to keep his snuff The absence of any
pocket at all in the usual direction suddenly recalled to his recollection the
fact that he had no waistcoat on and this leading him to a contemplation of the
extreme scantiness of his attire he shut the door abruptly and retired up
stairs with great precipitation
Smike had made good speed while Nicholas was absent and with his help
everything was soon ready for their departure They scarcely stopped to take a
morsel of breakfast and in less than half an hour arrived at the coachoffice
quite out of breath with the haste they had made to reach it in time There were
yet a few minutes to spare so having secured the places Nicholas hurried into
a slopsellers hard by and bought Smike a greatcoat It would have been rather
large for a substantial yeoman but the shopman averring and with considerable
truth that it was a most uncommon fit Nicholas would have purchased it in his
impatience if it had been twice the size
As they hurried up to the coach which was now in the open street and all
ready for starting Nicholas was not a little astonished to find himself
suddenly clutched in a close and violent embrace which nearly took him off his
legs nor was his amazement at all lessened by hearing the voice of Mr Crummles
exclaim »It is he my friend my friend«
»Bless my heart« cried Nicholas struggling in the managers arms »what
are you about«
The manager made no reply but strained him to his breast again exclaiming
as he did so »Farewell my noble my lionhearted boy«
In fact Mr Crummles who could never lose any opportunity for professional
display had turned out for the express purpose of taking a public farewell of
Nicholas and to render it the more imposing he was now to that young
gentlemans most profound annoyance inflicting upon him a rapid succession of
stage embraces which as everybody knows are performed by the embracers
laying his or her chin on the shoulder of the object of affection and looking
over it This Mr Crummles did in the highest style of melodrama pouring forth
at the same time all the most dismal forms of farewell he could think of out of
the stock pieces Nor was this all for the elder Master Crummles was going
through a similar ceremony with Smike while Master Percy Crummles with a very
little secondhand camlet cloak worn theatrically over his left shoulder stood
by in the attitude of an attendant officer waiting to convey the two victims
to the scaffold
The lookerson laughed very heartily and as it was as well to put a good
face upon the matter Nicholas laughed too when he had succeeded in disengaging
himself and rescuing the astonished Smike climbed up to the coach roof after
him and kissed his hand in honor of the absent Mrs Crummles as they rolled
away
Chapter XXXI
Of Ralph Nickleby and Newman Noggs and Some Wise Precautions the Success or
Failure of Which Will Appear in the Sequel
In blissful unconsciousness that his nephew was hastening at the utmost speed of
four good horses towards his sphere of action and that every passing minute
diminished the distance between them Ralph Nickleby sat that morning occupied
in his customary avocations and yet unable to prevent his thoughts wandering
from time to time back to the interview which had taken place between himself
and his niece on the previous day At such intervals after a few moments of
abstraction Ralph would mutter some peevish interjection and apply himself
with renewed steadiness of purpose to the ledger before him but again and again
the same train of thought came back despite all his efforts to prevent it
confusing him in his calculations and utterly distracting his attention from
the figures over which he bent At length Ralph laid down his pen and threw
himself back in his chair as though he had made up his mind to allow the
obtrusive current of reflection to take its own course and by giving it full
scope to rid himself of it effectually
»I am not a man to be moved by a pretty face« muttered Ralph sternly
»There is a grinning skull beneath it and men like me who look and work below
the surface see that and not its delicate covering And yet I almost like the
girl or should if she had been less proudly and squeamishly brought up If the
boy were drowned or hanged and the mother dead this house should be her home
I wish they were with all my soul«
Notwithstanding the deadly hatred which Ralph felt towards Nicholas and the
bitter contempt with which he sneered at poor Mrs Nickleby notwithstanding
the baseness with which he had behaved and was then behaving and would behave
again if his interest prompted him towards Kate herself still there was
strange though it may seem something humanising and even gentle in his thoughts
at that moment He thought of what his home might be if Kate were there he
placed her in the empty chair looked upon her heard her speak he felt again
upon his arm the gentle pressure of the trembling hand he strewed his costly
rooms with the hundred silent tokens of feminine presence and occupation he
came back again to the cold fireside and the silent dreary splendour and in
that one glimpse of a better nature born as it was in selfish thoughts the
rich man felt himself friendless childless and alone Gold for the instant
lost its lustre in his eyes for there were countless treasures of the heart
which it could never purchase
A very slight circumstance was sufficient to banish such reflections from
the mind of such a man As Ralph looked vacantly out across the yard towards the
window of the other office he became suddenly aware of the earnest observation
of Newman Noggs who with his red nose almost touching the glass feigned to be
mending a pen with a rusty fragment of a knife but was in reality staring at
his employer with a countenance of the closest and most eager scrutiny
Ralph exchanged his dreamy posture for his accustomed business attitude the
face of Newman disappeared and the train of thought took to flight all
simultaneously and in an instant
After a few minutes Ralph rang his bell Newman answered the summons and
Ralph raised his eyes stealthily to his face as if he almost feared to read
there a knowledge of his recent thoughts
There was not the smallest speculation however in the countenance of
Newman Noggs If it be possible to imagine a man with two eyes in his head and
both wide open looking in no direction whatever and seeing nothing Newman
appeared to be that man while Ralph Nickleby regarded him
»How now« growled Ralph
»Oh« said Newman throwing some intelligence into his eyes all at once and
dropping them on his master »I thought you rang« With which laconic remark
Newman turned round and hobbled away
»Stop« said Ralph
Newman stopped not at all disconcerted
»I did ring«
»I knew you did«
»Then why do you offer to go if you know that«
»I thought you rang to say you didnt ring« replied Newman »You often do«
»How dare you pry and peer and stare at me sirrah« demanded Ralph
»Stare« cried Newman »at you Ha ha« which was all the explanation
Newman deigned to offer
»Be careful sir« said Ralph looking steadily at him »Let me have no
drunken fooling here Do you see this parcel«
»Its big enough« rejoined Newman
»Carry it into the City to Cross in Broad Street and leave it there
quick Do you hear«
Newman gave a dogged kind of nod to express an affirmative reply and
leaving the room for a few seconds returned with his hat Having made various
ineffective attempts to fit the parcel which was some two feet square into the
crown thereof Newman took it under his arm and after putting on his fingerless
gloves with great precision and nicety keeping his eyes fixed upon Mr Ralph
Nickleby all the time he adjusted his hat upon his head with as much care real
or pretended as if it were a brannew one of the most expensive quality and at
last departed on his errand
He executed his commission with great promptitude and despatch only calling
at one publichouse for half a minute and even that might be said to be in his
way for he went in at one door and came out at the other but as he returned
and had got so far homewards as the Strand Newman began to loiter with the
uncertain air of a man who has not quite made up his mind whether to halt or go
straight forwards After a very short consideration the former inclination
prevailed and making towards the point he had had in his mind Newman knocked a
modest doubleknock or rather a nervous single one at Miss La Creevys door
It was opened by a strange servant on whom the odd figure of the visitor
did not appear to make the most favourable impression possible inasmuch as she
no sooner saw him than she very nearly closed it and placing herself in the
narrow gap inquired what he wanted But Newman merely uttering the monosyllable
Noggs as if it were some cabalistic word at sound of which bolts would fly
back and doors open pushed briskly past and gained the door of Miss La Creevys
sittingroom before the astonished servant could offer any opposition
»Walk in if you please« said Miss La Creevy in reply to the sound of
Newmans knuckles and in he walked accordingly
»Bless us« cried Miss La Creevy starting as Newman bolted in »what did
you want sir«
»You have forgotten me« said Newman with an inclination of the head »I
wonder at that That nobody should remember me who knew me in other days is
natural enough but there are few people who seeing me once forget me now« He
glanced as he spoke at his shabby clothes and paralytic limb and slightly
shook his head
»I did forget you I declare« said Miss La Creevy rising to receive
Newman who met her halfway »and I am ashamed of myself for doing so for you
are a kind good creature Mr Noggs Sit down and tell me all about Miss
Nickleby Poor dear thing I havent seen her for this many a week«
»Hows that« asked Newman
»Why the truth is Mr Noggs« said Miss La Creevy »that I have been out
on a visit the first visit I have made for fifteen years«
»That is a long time« said Newman sadly
»So it is a very long time to look back upon in years though somehow or
other thank Heaven the solitary days roll away peacefully and happily enough«
replied the miniature painter »I have a brother Mr Noggs the only relation
I have and all that time I never saw him once Not that we ever quarrelled
but he was apprenticed down in the country and he got married there and new
ties and affections springing up about him he forgot a poor little woman like
me as it was very reasonable he should you know Dont suppose that I complain
about that because I always said to myself It is very natural poor dear John
is making his way in the world and has a wife to tell his cares and troubles
to and children now to play about him so God bless him and them and send we
may all meet together one day where we shall part no more But what do you
think Mr Noggs« said the miniature painter brightening up and clapping her
hands »of that very same brother coming up to London at last and never resting
till he found me out what do you think of his coming here and sitting down in
that very chair and crying like a child because he was so glad to see me
what do you think of his insisting on taking me down all the way into the
country to his own house quite a sumptuous place Mr Noggs with a large
garden and I dont know how many fields and a man in livery waiting at table
and cows and horses and pigs and I dont know what besides and making me stay
a whole month and pressing me to stop there all my life yes all my life
and so did his wife and so did the children and there were four of them and
one the eldest girl of all they they had named her after me eight good years
before they had indeed I never was so happy in all my life I never was« The
worthy soul hid her face in her handkerchief and sobbed aloud for it was the
first opportunity she had had of unburdening her heart and it would have its
way
»But bless my life« said Miss La Creevy wiping her eyes after a short
pause and cramming her handkerchief into her pocket with great bustle and
dispatch »what a foolish creature I must seem to you Mr Noggs I shouldnt
have said anything about it only I wanted to explain to you how it was I hadnt
seen Miss Nickleby«
»Have you seen the old lady« asked Newman
»You mean Mrs Nickleby« said Miss La Creevy »Then I tell you what Mr
Noggs if you want to keep in the good books in that quarter you had better not
call her the old lady any more for I suspect she wouldnt be best pleased to
hear you Yes I went there the night before last but she was quite on the high
ropes about something and was so grand and mysterious that I couldnt make
anything of her so to tell you the truth I took it into my head to be grand
too and came away in state I thought she would have come round again before
this but she hasnt been here«
»About Miss Nickleby « said Newman
»Why she was here twice while I was away« returned Miss La Creevy »I was
afraid she mightnt like to have me calling on her among those great folks in
whatsitsname Place so I thought Id wait a day or two and if I didnt see
her write«
»Ah« exclaimed Newman cracking his fingers
»However I want to hear all the news about them from you« said Miss La
Creevy »How is the old rough and tough monster of Golden Square Well of
course such people always are I dont mean how is he in health but how is he
going on how is he behaving himself«
»Damn him« cried Newman dashing his cherished hat on the floor »like a
false hound«
»Gracious Mr Noggs you quite terrify me« exclaimed Miss La Creevy
turning pale
»I should have spoilt his features yesterday afternoon if I could have
afforded it« said Newman moving restlessly about and shaking his fist at a
portrait of Mr Canning over the mantelpiece »I was very near it I was
obliged to put my hands in my pockets and keep em there very tight I shall do
it some day in that little backparlour I know I shall I should have done it
before now if I hadnt been afraid of making bad worse I shall doublelock
myself in with him and have it out before I die Im quite certain of it«
»I shall scream if you dont compose yourself Mr Noggs« said Miss La
Creevy »Im sure I shant be able to help it«
»Never mind« rejoined Newman darting violently to and fro »Hes coming up
tonight I wrote to tell him He little thinks I know he little thinks I care
Cunning scoundrel he dont think that Not he not he Never mind Ill thwart
him I Newman Noggs Ho ho the rascal«
Lashing himself up to an extravagant pitch of fury Newman Noggs jerked
himself about the room with the most eccentric motion ever beheld in a human
being now sparring at the little miniatures on the wall and now giving himself
violent thumps on the head as if to heighten the delusion until he sank down
in his former seat quite breathless and exhausted
»There« said Newman picking up his hat »thats done me good Now Im
better and Ill tell you all about it«
It took some little time to reassure Miss La Creevy who had been almost
frightened out of her senses by this remarkable demonstration but that done
Newman faithfully related all that had passed in the interview between Kate and
her uncle prefacing his narrative with a statement of his previous suspicions
on the subject and his reasons for forming them and concluding with a
communication of the step he had taken in secretly writing to Nicholas
Though little Miss La Creevys indignation was not so singularly displayed
as Newmans it was scarcely inferior in violence and intensity Indeed if Ralph
Nickleby had happened to make his appearance in the room at that moment there
is some doubt whether he would not have found Miss La Creevy a more dangerous
opponent than even Newman Noggs himself
»God forgive me for saying so« said Miss La Creevy as a windup to all her
expressions of anger »but I really feel as if I could stick this into him with
pleasure«
It was not a very awful weapon that Miss La Creevy held it being in fact
nothing more nor less than a blacklead pencil but discovering her mistake the
little portrait painter exchanged it for a motherofpearl fruit knife
wherewith in proof of her desperate thoughts she made a lunge as she spoke
which would have scarcely disturbed the crumb of a halfquartern loaf
»She wont stop where she is after tonight« said Newman »Thats a
comfort«
»Stop« cried Miss La Creevy »she should have left there weeks ago«
» If we had known of this« rejoined Newman »But we didnt Nobody could
properly interfere but her mother or brother The mothers weak poor thing
weak The dear young man will be here tonight«
»Heart alive« cried Miss La Creevy »He will do something desperate Mr
Noggs if you tell him all at once«
Newman left off rubbing his hands and assumed a thoughtful look
»Depend upon it« said Miss La Creevy earnestly »if you are not very
careful in breaking out the truth to him he will do some violence upon his
uncle or one of these men that will bring some terrible calamity upon his own
head and grief and sorrow to us all«
»I never thought of that« rejoined Newman his countenance falling more and
more »I came to ask you to receive his sister in case he brought her here but
«
»But this is a matter of much greater importance« interrupted Miss La
Creevy »that you might have been sure of before you came but the end of this
nobody can foresee unless you are very guarded and careful«
»What can I do« cried Newman scratching his head with an air of great
vexation and perplexity »If he was to talk of pistolling em all I should be
obliged to say Certainly Serve em right«
Miss La Creevy could not suppress a small shriek on hearing this and
instantly set about extorting a solemn pledge from Newman that he would use his
utmost endeavours to pacify the wrath of Nicholas which after some demur was
conceded They then consulted together on the safest and surest mode of
communicating to him the circumstances which had rendered his presence
necessary
»He must have time to cool before he can possibly do anything« said Miss La
Creevy »That is of the greatest consequence He must not be told until late at
night«
»But hell be in town between six and seven this evening« replied Newman »
I cant keep it from him when he asks me«
»Then you must go out Mr Noggs« said Miss La Creevy »You can easily have
been kept away by business and must not return till nearly midnight«
»Then hell come straight here« retorted Newman
»So I suppose« observed Miss La Creevy »but he wont find me at home for
Ill go straight to the City the instant you leave me make up matters with Mrs
Nickleby and take her away to the theatre so that he may not even know where
his sister lives«
Upon further discussion this appeared the safest and most feasible mode of
proceeding that could possibly be adopted Therefore it was finally determined
that matters should be so arranged Newman after listening to many
supplementary cautions and entreaties took his leave of Miss La Creevy and
trudged hack to Golden Square ruminating as he went upon a vast number of
possibilities and impossibilities which crowded upon his brain and arose out of
the conversation that had just terminated
Chapter XXXII
Relating Chiefly to Some Remarkable Conversation and Some Remarkable
Proceedings to which It Gives Rise
»London at last« cried Nicholas throwing back his greatcoat and rousing Smike
from a long nap »It seemed to me as though we should never reach it«
»And yet you came along at a tidy pace too« observed the coachman looking
over his shoulder at Nicholas with no very pleasant expression of countenance
»Ay I know that« was the reply »but I have been very anxious to be at my
journeys end and that makes the way seem long«
»Well« remarked the coachman »if the way seemed long with such cattle as
youve sat behind you must have been most uncommon anxious« and so saying he
let out his whiplash and touched up a little boy on the calves of his legs by
way of emphasis
They rattled on through the noisy bustling crowded streets of London now
displaying long double rows of brightlyburning lamps dotted here and there
with the chemists glaring lights and illuminated besides with the brilliant
flood that streamed from the windows of the shops where sparkling jewellery
silks and velvets of the richest colours the most inviting delicacies and most
sumptuous articles of luxurious ornament succeeded each other in rich and
glittering profusion Streams of people apparently without end poured on and on
jostling each other in the crowd and hurrying forward scarcely seeming to
notice the riches that surrounded them on every side while vehicles of all
shapes and makes mingled up together in one moving mass like running water
lent their ceaseless roar to swell the noise and tumult
As they dashed by the quicklychanging and evervarying objects it was
curious to observe in what a strange procession they passed before the eye
Emporiums of splendid dresses the materials brought from every quarter of the
world tempting stores of everything to stimulate and pamper the sated appetite
and give new relish to the oftrepeated feast vessels of burnished gold and
silver wrought into every exquisite form of vase and dish and goblet guns
swords pistols and patent engines of destruction screws and irons for the
crooked clothes for the newlyborn drugs for the sick coffins for the dead
churchyards for the buried all these jumbled each with the other and flocking
side by side seemed to flit by in motley dance like the fantastic groups of the
old Dutch painter and with the same stern moral for the unheeding restless
crowd
Nor were there wanting objects in the crowd itself to give new point and
purpose to the shifting scene The rags of the squalid balladsinger fluttered
in the rich light that showed the goldsmiths treasures pale and pinchedup
faces hovered about the windows where was tempting food hungry eyes wandered
over the profusion guarded by one thin sheet of brittle glass an iron wall to
them halfnaked shivering figures stopped to gaze at Chinese shawls and golden
stuffs of India There was a christening party at the largest coffinmakers
and a funeral hatchment had stopped some great improvements in the bravest
mansion Life and death went hand in hand wealth and poverty stood side by
side repletion and starvation laid them down together
But it was London and the old country lady inside who had put her head out
of the coachwindow a mile or two on this side of Kingston and had cried out to
the driver that she was sure he must have passed it and forgotten to set her
down was satisfied at last
Nicholas engaged beds for himself and Smike at the inn where the coach
stopped and repaired without the delay of another moment to the lodgings of
Newman Noggs for his anxiety and impatience had increased with every succeeding
minute and were almost beyond control
There was a fire in Newmans garret and a candle had been left burning the
floor was cleanly swept the room was as comfortably arranged as such a room
could be and meat and drink were placed in order upon the table Everything
bespoke the affectionate care and attention of Newman Noggs but Newman himself
was not there
»Do you know what time he will be home« inquired Nicholas tapping at the
door of Newmans front neighbour
»Ah Mr Johnson« said Crowl presenting himself »Welcome sir How well
youre looking I never could have believed «
»Pardon me« interposed Nicholas »My question I am extremely anxious to
know«
»Why he has a troublesome affair of business« replied Crowl »and will not
be home before twelve oclock He was very unwilling to go I can tell you but
there was no help for it However he left word that you were to make yourself
comfortable till he came back and that I was to entertain you which I shall be
very glad to do«
In proof of his extreme readiness to exert himself for the general
entertainment Mr Crowl drew a chair to the table as he spoke and helping
himself plentifully to the cold meat invited Nicholas and Smike to follow his
example
Disappointed and uneasy Nicholas could touch no food so after he had seen
Smike comfortably established at the table he walked out despite a great many
dissuasions uttered by Mr Crowl with his mouth full and left Smike to detain
Newman in case he returned first
As Miss La Creevy had anticipated Nicholas betook himself straight to her
house Finding her from home he debated within himself for some time whether he
should go to his mothers residence and so compromise her with Ralph Nickleby
Fully persuaded however that Newman would not have solicited him to return
unless there was some strong reason which required his presence at home he
resolved to go there and hastened eastwards with all speed
Mrs Nickleby would not be at home the girl said until past twelve or
later She believed Miss Nickleby was well but she didnt live at home now nor
did she come home except very seldom She couldnt say where she was stopping
but it was not at Madame Mantalinis She was sure of that
With his heart beating violently and apprehending he knew not what
disaster Nicholas returned to where he had left Smike Newman had not been
home He wouldnt be till twelve oclock there was no chance of it Was there
no possibility of sending to fetch him if it were only for an instant or
forwarding to him one line of writing to which he might return a verbal reply
That was quite impracticable He was not at Golden Square and probably had been
sent to execute some commission at a distance
Nicholas tried to remain quietly where he was but he felt so nervous and
excited that he could not sit still He seemed to be losing time unless he was
moving It was an absurd fancy he knew but he was wholly unable to resist it
So he took up his hat and rambled out again
He strolled westward this time pacing the long streets with hurried
footsteps and agitated by a thousand misgivings and apprehensions which he
could not overcome He passed into Hyde Park now silent and deserted and
increased his rate of walking as if in the hope of leaving his thoughts behind
They crowded upon him more thickly however now there were no passing objects
to attract his attention and the one idea was always uppermost that some
stroke of illfortune must have occurred so calamitous in its nature that all
were fearful of disclosing it to him The old question arose again and again
What could it be Nicholas walked till he was weary but was not one bit the
wiser and indeed he came out of the Park at last a great deal more confused and
perplexed than he had gone into it
He had taken scarcely anything to eat or drink since early in the morning
and felt quite worn out and exhausted As he returned languidly towards the
point from which he had started along one of the thoroughfares which lie
between Park Lane and Bond Street he passed a handsome hotel before which he
stopped mechanically
»An expensive place I dare say« thought Nicholas »but a pint of wine and
a biscuit are no great debauch wherever they are had And yet I dont know«
He walked on a few steps but looking wistfully down the long vista of
gaslamps before him and thinking how long it would take to reach the end of it
and being besides in that kind of mood in which a man is most disposed to
yield to his first impulse and being besides strongly attracted to the
hotel in part by curiosity and in part by some odd mixture of feelings which
he would have been troubled to define Nicholas turned back again and walked
into the coffeeroom
It was very handsomely furnished The walls were ornamented with the
choicest specimens of French paper enriched with a gilded cornice of elegant
design The floor was covered with a rich carpet and two superb mirrors one
above the chimneypiece and one at the opposite end of the room reaching from
floor to ceiling multiplied the other beauties and added new ones of their own
to enhance the general effect There was rather a noisy party of four gentlemen
in a box by the fireplace and only two other persons present both elderly
gentlemen and both alone
Observing all this in the first comprehensive glance with which a stranger
surveys a place that is new to him Nicholas sat himself down in the box next to
the noisy party with his back towards them and postponing his order for a pint
of claret until such time as the waiter and one of the elderly gentlemen should
have settled a disputed question relative to the price of an item in the hill of
fare took up a newspaper and began to read
He had not read twenty lines and was in truth halfdozing when he was
startled by the mention of his sisters name »Little Kate Nickleby« were the
words that caught his ear He raised his head in amazement and as he did so
saw by the reflection in the opposite glass that two of the party behind him
had risen and were standing before the fire »It must have come from one of
them« thought Nicholas He waited to hear more with a countenance of some
indignation for the tone of speech had been anything but respectful and the
appearance of the individual whom he presumed to have been the speaker was
coarse and swaggering
This person so Nicholas observed in the same glance at the mirror which
had enabled him to see his face was standing with his back to the fire
conversing with a younger man who stood with his back to the company wore his
hat and was adjusting his shirt collar by the aid of the glass They spoke in
whispers now and then bursting into a loud laugh but Nicholas could catch no
repetition of the words nor anything sounding at all like the words which had
attracted his attention
At length the two resumed their seats and more wine being ordered the
party grew louder in their mirth Still there was no reference made to anybody
with whom he was acquainted and Nicholas became persuaded that his excited
fancy had either imagined the sounds altogether or converted some other words
into the name which had been so much in his thoughts
»It is remarkable too« thought Nicholas »if it had been Kate or Kate
Nickleby I should not have been so much surprised but little Kate Nickleby«
The wine coming at the moment prevented his finishing the sentence He
swallowed a glassful and took up the paper again At that instant
»Little Kate Nickleby« cried a voice behind him
»I was right« muttered Nicholas as the paper fell from his hand »And it
was the man I supposed«
»As there was a proper objection to drinking her in heeltaps« said the
voice »well give her the first glass in the new magnum Little Kate Nickleby«
»Little Kate Nickleby« cried the other three And the glasses were set down
empty
Keenly alive to the tone and manner of this slight and careless mention of
his sisters name in a public place Nicholas fired at once but he kept himself
quiet by a great effort and did not even turn his head
»The jade« said the same voice which had spoken before »Shes a true
Nickleby a worthy imitator of her old uncle Ralph she hangs back to be more
sought after so does he nothing to be got out of Ralph unless you follow him
up and then the money comes doubly welcome and the bargain doubly hard for
youre impatient and he isnt Oh infernal cunning«
»Infernal cunning« echoed two voices
Nicholas was in a perfect agony as the two elderly gentlemen opposite rose
one after the other and went away lest they should be the means of his losing
one word of what was said But the conversation was suspended as they withdrew
and resumed with even greater freedom when they had left the room
»I am afraid« said the younger gentleman »that the old woman has grown
jeaalous and locked her up Upon my soul it looks like it«
»If they quarrel and little Nickleby goes home to her mother so much the
better« said the first »I can do anything with the old lady Shell believe
anything I tell her«
»Egad thats true« returned the other voice »Ha ha ha Poor deyvle«
The laugh was taken up by the two voices which always came in together and
became general at Mrs Nicklebys expense Nicholas turned burning hot with
rage but he commanded himself for the moment and waited to hear more
What he heard need not be repeated here Suffice it that as the wine went
round he heard enough to acquaint him with the characters and designs of those
whose conversation he overheard to possess him with the full extent of Ralphs
villany and the real reason of his own presence being required in London He
heard all this and more He heard his sisters sufferings derided and her
virtuous conduct jeered at and brutally misconstrued he heard her name bandied
from mouth to mouth and herself made the subject of coarse and insolent wagers
free speech and licentious jesting
The man who had spoken first led the conversation and indeed almost
engrossed it being only stimulated from time to time by some slight observation
from one or other of his companions To him then Nicholas addressed himself when
he was sufficiently composed to stand before the party and force the words from
his parched and scorching throat
»Let me have a word with you sir« said Nicholas
»With me sir« retorted Sir Mulberry Hawk eyeing him in disdainful
surprise
»I said with you« replied Nicholas speaking with great difficulty for his
passion choked him
»A mysterious stranger upon my soul« exclaimed Sir Mulberry raising his
wineglass to his lips and looking round upon his friends
»Will you step apart with me for a few minutes or do you refuse« said
Nicholas sternly
Sir Mulberry merely paused in the act of drinking and bade him either name
his business or leave the table
Nicholas drew a card from his pocket and threw it before him
»There sir« said Nicholas »my business you will guess«
A momentary expression of astonishment not unmixed with some confusion
appeared in the face of Sir Mulberry as he read the name but he subdued it in
an instant and tossing the card to Lord Frederick Verisopht who sat opposite
drew a toothpick from a glass before him and very leisurely applied it to his
mouth
»Your name and address« said Nicholas turning paler as his passion
kindled
»I shall give you neither« replied Sir Mulberry
»If there is a gentleman in this party« said Nicholas looking round and
scarcely able to make his white lips form the words »he will acquaint me with
the name and residence of this man«
There was a dead silence
»I am the brother of the young lady who has been the subject of conversation
here« said Nicholas »I denounce this person as a liar and impeach him as a
coward If he has a friend here he will save him the disgrace of the paltry
attempt to conceal his name an utterly useless one for I will find it out
nor leave him until I have«
Sir Mulberry looked at him contemptuously and addressing his companions
said
»Let the fellow talk I have nothing serious to say to boys of his station
and his pretty sister shall save him a broken head if he talks till midnight«
»You are a base and spiritless scoundrel« said Nicholas »and shall be
proclaimed so to the world I will know you I will follow you home if you walk
the streets till morning«
Sir Mulberrys hand involuntarily closed upon the decanter and he seemed
for an instant about to launch it at the head of his challenger But he only
filled his glass and laughed in derision
Nicholas sat himself down directly opposite to the party and summoning
the waiter paid his bill
»Do you know that persons name« he inquired of the man in an audible
voice pointing out Sir Mulberry as he put the question
Sir Mulberry laughed again and the two voices which had always spoken
together echoed the laugh but rather feebly
»That gentleman sir« replied the waiter who no doubt knew his cue and
answered with just as little respect and just as much impertinence as he could
safely show »no sir I do not sir«
»Here you sir« cried Sir Mulberry as the man was retiring »Do you know
that persons name«
»Name sir No sir«
»Then youll find it there« said Sir Mulberry throwing Nicholass card
towards him »and when you have made yourself master of it put that piece of
pasteboard in the fire«
The man grinned and looking doubtfully at Nicholas compromised the matter
by sticking the card in the chimneyglass Having done this he retired
Nicholas folded his arms and biting his lip sat perfectly quiet
sufficiently expressing by his manner however a firm determination to carry
his threat of following Sir Mulberry home into steady execution
It was evident from the tone in which the younger member of the party
appeared to remonstrate with his friend that he objected to this course of
proceeding and urged him to comply with the request which Nicholas had made
Sir Mulberry however who was not quite sober and who was in a sullen and
dogged state of obstinacy soon silenced the representations of his weak young
friend and further seemed as if to save himself from a repetition of them
to insist on being left alone However this might have been the young gentleman
and the two who had always spoken together actually rose to go after a short
interval and presently retired leaving their friend alone with Nicholas
It will be very readily supposed that to one in the condition of Nicholas
the minutes appeared to move with leaden wings indeed and that their progress
did not seem the more rapid from the monotonous ticking of a French clock or
the shrill sound of its little bell which told the quarters But there he sat
and in his old seat on the opposite side of the room reclined Sir Mulberry Hawk
with his legs upon the cushion and his handkerchief thrown negligently over his
knees finishing his magnum of claret with the utmost coolness and indifference
Thus they remained in perfect silence for upwards of an hour Nicholas
would have thought for three hours at least but that the little bell had only
gone four times Twice or thrice he looked angrily and impatiently round but
there was Sir Mulberry in the same attitude putting his glass to his lips from
time to time and looking vacantly at the wall as if he were wholly ignorant of
the presence of any living person
At length he yawned stretched himself and rose walked coolly to the glass
and having surveyed himself therein turned round and honored Nicholas with a
long and contemptuous stare Nicholas stared again with right goodwill Sir
Mulberry shrugged his shoulders smiled slightly rang the bell and ordered the
waiter to help him on with his greatcoat
The man did so and held the door open
»Dont wait« said Sir Mulberry and they were alone again
Sir Mulberry took several turns up and down the room whistling carelessly
all the time stopped to finish the last glass of claret which he had poured out
a few minutes before walked again put on his hat adjusted it by the glass
drew on his gloves and at last walked slowly out Nicholas who had been
fuming and chafing until he was nearly wild darted from his seat and followed
him so closely that before the door had swung upon its hinges after Sir
Mulberrys passing out they stood side by side in the street together
There was a private cabriolet in waiting the groom opened the apron and
jumped out to the horses head
»Will you make yourself known to me« asked Nicholas in a suppressed voice
»No« replied the other fiercely and confirming the refusal with an oath
»No«
»If you trust to your horses speed you will find yourself mistaken« said
Nicholas »I will accompany you By Heaven I will if I hang on to the
footboard«
»You shall be horsewhipped if you do« returned Sir Mulberry
»You are a villain« said Nicholas
»You are an errandboy for aught I know« said Sir Mulberry Hawk
»I am the son of a country gentleman« returned Nicholas »your equal in
birth and education and your superior I trust in everything besides I tell you
again Miss Nickleby is my sister Will you or will you not answer for your
unmanly and brutal conduct«
»To a proper champion yes To you no« returned Sir Mulberry taking the
reins in his hand »Stand out of the way dog William let go her head«
»You had better not« cried Nicholas springing on the step as Sir Mulberry
jumped in and catching at the reins »He has no command over the horse mind
You shall not go you shall not I swear till you have told me who you are«
The groom hesitated for the mare who was a highspirited animal and
thoroughbred plunged so violently that he could scarcely hold her
»Leave go I tell you« thundered his master
The man obeyed The animal reared and plunged as though it would dash the
carriage into a thousand pieces but Nicholas blind to all sense of danger and
conscious of nothing but his fury still maintained his place and his hold upon
the reins
»Will you unclasp your hand«
»Will you tell me who you are«
»No«
»No«
In less time than the quickest tongue could tell it these words were
exchanged and Sir Mulberry shortening his whip applied it furiously to the
head and shoulders of Nicholas It was broken in the struggle Nicholas gained
the heavy handle and with it laid open one side of his antagonists face from
the eye to the lip He saw the gash knew that the mare had darted off at a wild
mad gallop a hundred lights danced in his eyes and he felt himself flung
violently upon the ground
He was giddy and sick but staggered to his feet directly roused by the
loud shouts of the men who were tearing up the street and screaming to those
ahead to clear the way He was conscious of a torrent of people rushing quickly
by looking up could discern the cabriolet whirled along the foot pavement
with frightful rapidity then heard a loud cry the smashing of some heavy
body and the breaking of glass and then the crowd closed in in the distance
and he could see or hear no more
The general attention had been entirely directed from himself to the person
in the carriage and he was quite alone Rightly judging that under such
circumstances it would be madness to follow he turned down a byestreet in
search of the nearest coachstand finding after a minute or two that he was
reeling like a drunken man and aware for the first time of a stream of blood
that was trickling down his face and breast
Chapter XXXIII
In Which Mr Ralph Nickleby Is Relieved by a Very Expeditious Process from All
Commerce with His Relations
Smike and Newman Noggs who in his impatience had returned home long before the
time agreed upon sat before the fire listening anxiously to every footstep on
the stairs and the slightest sound that stirred within the house for the
approach of Nicholas Time had worn on and it was growing late He had promised
to be back in an hour and his prolonged absence began to excite considerable
alarm in the minds of both as was abundantly testified by the blank looks they
cast upon each other at every new disappointment
At length a coach was heard to stop and Newman ran out to light Nicholas up
the stairs Beholding him in the trim described at the conclusion of the last
chapter he stood aghast in wonder and consternation
»Dont be alarmed« said Nicholas hurrying him back into the room »There
is no harm done beyond what a basin of water can repair«
»No harm« cried Newman passing his hands hastily over the back and arms of
Nicholas as if to assure himself that he had broken no bones »What have you
been doing«
»I know all« interrupted Nicholas »I have heard a part and guessed the
rest But before I remove one jot of these stains I must hear the whole from
you You see I am collected My resolution is taken Now my good friend speak
out for the time for any palliation or concealment is past and nothing will
avail Ralph Nickleby now«
»Your dress is torn in several places you walk lame and I am sure are
suffering pain« said Newman »Let me see to your hurts first«
»I have no hurts to see to beyond a little soreness and stiffness that will
soon pass off« said Nicholas seating himself with some difficulty »But if I
had fractured every limb and still preserved my senses you should not bandage
one till you had told me what I have the right to know Come« said Nicholas
giving his hand to Noggs »You had a sister of your own you told me once who
died before you fell into misfortune Now think of her and tell me Newman«
»Yes I will I will« said Noggs »Ill tell you the whole truth«
Newman did so Nicholas nodded his head from time to time as it
corroborated the particulars he had already gleaned but he fixed his eyes upon
the fire and did not look round once
His recital ended Newman insisted upon his young friends stripping off his
coat and allowing whatever injuries he had received to be properly tended
Nicholas after some opposition at length consented and while some pretty
severe bruises on his arms and shoulders were being rubbed with oil and vinegar
and various other efficacious remedies which Newman borrowed from the different
lodgers related in what manner they had been received The recital made a
strong impression on the warm imagination of Newman for when Nicholas came to
the violent part of the quarrel he rubbed so hard as to occasion him the most
exquisite pain which he would not have exhibited however for the world it
being perfectly clear that for the moment Newman was operating on Sir Mulberry
Hawk and had quite lost sight of his real patient
This martyrdom over Nicholas arranged with Newman that while he was
otherwise occupied next morning arrangements should be made for his mothers
immediately quitting her present residence and also for despatching Miss La
Creevy to break the intelligence to her He then wrapped himself in Smikes
greatcoat and repaired to the inn where they were to pass the night and where
after writing a few lines to Ralph the delivery of which was to be intrusted
to Newman next day he endeavoured to obtain the repose of which he stood so
much in need
Drunken men they say may roll down precipices and be quite unconscious of
any serious personal inconvenience when their reason returns The remark may
possibly apply to injuries received in other kinds of violent excitement
certain it is that although Nicholas experienced some pain on first awakening
next morning he sprung out of bed as the clock struck seven with very little
difficulty and was soon as much on the alert as if nothing had occurred
Merely looking into Smikes room and telling him that Newman Noggs would
call for him very shortly Nicholas descended into the street and calling a
hackneycoach bade the man drive to Mrs Wititterlys according to the
direction which Newman had given him on the previous night
It wanted a quarter to eight when they reached Cadogan Place Nicholas began
to fear that no one might be stirring at that early hour when he was relieved
by the sight of a female servant employed in cleaning the doorsteps By this
functionary he was referred to the doubtful page who appeared with dishevelled
hair and a very warm and glossy face as of a page who had just got out of bed
By this young gentleman he was informed that Miss Nickleby was then taking
her mornings walk in the gardens before the house On the question being
propounded whether he could go and find her the page desponded and thought not
but being stimulated with a shilling the page grew sanguine and thought he
could
»Say to Miss Nickleby that her brother is here and in great haste to see
her« said Nicholas
The plated buttons disappeared with an alacrity most unusual to them and
Nicholas paced the room in a state of feverish agitation which made the delay
even of a minute insupportable He soon heard a light footstep which he well
knew and before he could advance to meet her Kate had fallen on his neck and
burst into tears
»My darling girl« said Nicholas as he embraced her »How pale you are«
»I have been so unhappy here dear brother« sobbed poor Kate »so very
very miserable Do not leave me here dear Nicholas or I shall die of a broken
heart«
»I will leave you nowhere« answered Nicholas »never again Kate« he
cried moved in spite of himself as he folded her to his heart »Tell me that I
acted for the best Tell me that we parted because I feared to bring misfortune
on your head that it was a trial to me no less than to yourself and that if I
did wrong it was in ignorance of the world and unknowingly«
»Why should I tell you what we know so well« returned Kate soothingly
»Nicholas dear Nicholas how can you give way thus«
»It is such bitter reproach to me to know what you have undergone« returned
her brother »to see you so much altered and yet so kind and patient God«
cried Nicholas clenching his fist and suddenly changing his tone and manner
»it sets my whole blood on fire again You must leave here with me directly you
should not have slept here last night but that I knew all this too late To
whom can I speak before we drive away«
This question was most opportunely put for at that instant Mr Wititterly
walked in and to him Kate introduced her brother who at once announced his
purpose and the impossibility of deferring it
»The quarters notice« said Mr Wititterly with the gravity of a man on
the right side »is not yet half expired Therefore «
»Therefore« interposed Nicholas »the quarters salary must be lost sir
You will excuse this extreme haste but circumstances require that I should
immediately remove my sister and I have not a moments time to lose Whatever
she brought here I will send for if you will allow me in the course of the
day«
Mr Wititterly bowed but offered no opposition to Kates immediate
departure with which indeed he was rather gratified than otherwise Sir
Tumley Snuffim having given it as his opinion that she rather disagreed with
Mrs Wititterlys constitution
»With regard to the trifle of salary that is due« said Mr Wititterly »I
will « here he was interrupted by a violent fit of coughing »I will owe it
to Miss Nickleby«
Mr Wititterly it should be observed was accustomed to owe small accounts
and to leave them owing All men have some little pleasant way of their own and
this was Mr Wititterlys
»If you please« said Nicholas And once more offering a hurried apology for
so sudden a departure he hurried Kate into the vehicle and bade the man drive
with all speed into the City
To the City they went accordingly with all the speed the hackneycoach
could make and as the horses happened to live at Whitechapel and to be in the
habit of taking their breakfast there when they breakfasted at all they
performed the journey with greater expedition than could reasonably have been
expected
Nicholas sent Kate up stairs a few minutes before him that his unlookedfor
appearance might not alarm his mother and when the way had been paved
presented himself with much duty and affection Newman had not been idle for
there was a little cart at the door and the effects were hurrying out already
Now Mrs Nickleby was not the sort of person to be told anything in a
hurry or rather to comprehend anything of peculiar delicacy or importance on a
short notice Wherefore although the good lady had been subjected to a full
hours preparation by little Miss La Creevy and was now addressed in most lucid
terms both by Nicholas and his sister she was in a state of singular
bewilderment and confusion and could by no means be made to comprehend the
necessity of such hurried proceedings
»Why dont you ask your uncle my dear Nicholas what he can possibly mean
by it« said Mrs Nickleby
»My dear mother« returned Nicholas »the time for talking has gone by
There is but one step to take and that is to cast him off with the scorn and
indignation he deserves Your own honor and good name demand that after the
discovery of his vile proceedings you should not be beholden to him one hour
even for the shelter of these bare walls«
»To be sure« said Mrs Nickleby crying bitterly »he is a brute a
monster and the walls are very bare and want painting too and I have had this
ceiling whitewashed at the expense of eighteenpence which is a very
distressing thing considering that it is so much gone into your uncles pocket
I never could have believed it never«
»Nor I nor anybody else« said Nicholas
»Lord bless my life« exclaimed Mrs Nickleby »To think that that Sir
Mulberry Hawk should be such an abandoned wretch as Miss La Creevy says he is
Nicholas my dear when I was congratulating myself every day on his being an
admirer of our dear Kates and thinking what a thing it would be for the family
if he was to become connected with us and use his interest to get you some
profitable government place There are very good places to be got about the
court I know for a friend of ours Miss Cropley at Exeter my dear Kate you
recollect he had one and I know that it was the chief part of his duty to
wear silk stockings and a bag wig like a black watchpocket and to think that
it should come to this after all oh dear dear its enough to kill one that
it is« With which expressions of sorrow Mrs Nickleby gave fresh vent to her
grief and wept piteously
As Nicholas and his sister were by this time compelled to superintend the
removal of the few articles of furniture Miss La Creevy devoted herself to the
consolation of the matron and observed with great kindness of manner that she
must really make an effort and cheer up
»Oh I dare say Miss La Creevy« returned Mrs Nickleby with a petulance
not unnatural in her unhappy circumstances »its very easy to say cheer up but
if you had as many occasions to cheer up as I have had and there« said Mrs
Nickleby stopping short »Think of Mr Pyke and Mr Pluck two of the most
perfect gentlemen that ever lived what am I to say to them what can I say to
them Why if I was to say to them Im told your friend Sir Mulberry is a base
wretch theyd laugh at me«
»They will laugh no more at us I take it« said Nicholas advancing »Come
mother there is a coach at the door and until Monday at all events we will
return to our old quarters«
»Where everything is ready and a hearty welcome into the bargain« added
Miss La Creevy »Now let me go with you down stairs«
But Mrs Nickleby was not to be so easily moved for first she insisted on
going up stairs to see that nothing had been left and then on going down stairs
to see that everything had been taken away and when she was getting into the
coach she had a vision of a forgotten coffeepot on the backkitchen hob and
after she was shut in a dismal recollection of a green umbrella behind some
unknown door At last Nicholas in a condition of absolute despair ordered the
coachman to drive away and in the unexpected jerk of a sudden starting Mrs
Nickleby lost a shilling among the straw which fortunately confined her
attention to the coach until it was too late to remember anything else
Having seen everything safely out discharged the servant and locked the
door Nicholas jumped into a cabriolet and drove to a bye place near Golden
Square where he had appointed to meet Noggs and so quickly had everything been
done that it was barely halfpast nine when he reached the place of meeting
»Here is the letter for Ralph« said Nicholas »and here the key When you
come to me this evening not a word of last night Ill news travels fast and
they will know it soon enough Have you heard if he was much hurt«
Newman shook his head
»I will ascertain that myself without loss of time« said Nicholas
»You had better take some rest« returned Newman »You are fevered and ill«
Nicholas waved his hand carelessly and concealing the indisposition he
really felt now that the excitement which had sustained him was over took a
hurried farewell of Newman Noggs and left him
Newman was not three minutes walk from Golden Square but in the course of
that three minutes he took the letter out of his hat and put it in again twenty
times at least First the front then the back then the sides then the
superscription then the seal were objects of Newmans admiration Then he held
it at arms length as if to take in the whole at one delicious survey and then
he rubbed his hands in a perfect ecstasy with his commission
He reached the office hung his hat on its accustomed peg laid the letter
and key upon the desk and waited impatiently until Ralph Nickleby should
appear After a few minutes the wellknown creaking of his boots was heard on
the stairs and then the bell rung
»Has the post come in«
»No«
»Any other letters«
»One« Newman eyed him closely and laid it on the desk
»Whats this« asked Ralph taking up the key
»Left with the letter a boy brought them quarter of an hour ago or
less«
Ralph glanced at the direction opened the letter and read as follows
»You are known to me now There are no reproaches I could heap upon your
head which would carry with them one thousandth part of the grovelling shame
that this assurance will awaken even in your breast
Your brothers widow and her orphan child spurn the shelter of your roof
and shun you with disgust and loathing Your kindred renounce you for they know
no shame but the ties of blood which bind them in name with you
You are an old man and I leave you to the grave May every recollection of
your life cling to your false heart and cast their darkness on your deathbed«
Ralph Nickleby read this letter twice and frowning heavily fell into a fit
of musing the paper fluttered from his hand and dropped upon the floor but he
clasped his fingers as if he held it still
Suddenly he started from his seat and thrusting it all crumpled into his
pocket turned furiously to Newman Noggs as though to ask him why he lingered
But Newman stood unmoved with his back towards him following up with the worn
and blackened stump of an old pen some figures in an Interesttable which was
pasted against the wall and apparently quite abstracted from every other
object
Chapter XXXIV
Wherein Mr Ralph Nickleby Is Visited by Persons with Whom the Reader Has Been
Already Made Acquainted
»What a demnition long time you have kept me ringing at this confounded old
cracked teakettle of a bell every tinkle of which is enough to throw a strong
man into blue convulsions upon my life and soul oh demmit« said Mr Mantalini
to Newman Noggs scraping his boots as he spoke on Ralph Nicklebys scraper
»I didnt hear the bell more than once« replied Newman
»Then you are most immensely and outrigeously deaf« said Mr Mantalini »as
deaf as a demnition post«
Mr Mantalini had got by this time into the passage and was making his way
to the door of Ralphs office with very little ceremony when Newman interposed
his body and hinting that Mr Nickleby was unwilling to be disturbed inquired
whether the clients business was of a pressing nature
»It is most demnebly particular« said Mr Mantalini »It is to melt some
scraps of dirty paper into bright shining chinking tinkling demd mint
sauce«
Newman uttered a significant grunt and taking Mr Mantalinis proffered
card limped with it into his masters office As he thrust his head in at the
door he saw that Ralph had resumed the thoughtful posture into which he had
fallen after perusing his nephews letter and that he seemed to have been
reading it again as he once more held it open in his hand The glance was but
momentary for Ralph being disturbed turned to demand the cause of the
interruption
As Newman stated it the cause himself swaggered into the room and grasping
Ralphs horny hand with uncommon affection vowed that he had never seen him
looking so well in all his life
»There is quite a bloom upon your demd countenance« said Mr Mantalini
seating himself unbidden and arranging his hair and whiskers »You look quite
juvenile and jolly demmit«
»We are alone« returned Ralph tartly »What do you want with me«
»Good« cried Mr Mantalini displaying his teeth »What did I want Yes
Ha ha Very good What did I want Ha ha Oh dem«
»What do you want man« demanded Ralph sternly
»Demnition discount« returned Mr Mantalini with a grin and shaking his
head waggishly
»Money is scarce« said Ralph
»Demd scarce or I shouldnt want it« interrupted Mr Mantalini
»The times are bad and one scarcely knows whom to trust« continued Ralph
»I dont want to do business just now in fact I would rather not but as you
are a friend how many bills have you there«
»Two« returned Mr Mantalini
»What is the gross amount«
»Demd trifling Fiveandseventy«
»And the dates«
»Two months and four«
»Ill do them for you mind for you I wouldnt for many people for
fiveandtwenty pounds« said Ralph deliberately
»Oh demmit« cried Mr Mantalini whose face lengthened considerably at this
handsome proposal
»Why that leaves you fifty« retorted Ralph »What would you have Let me
see the names«
»You are so demd hard Nickleby« remonstrated Mr Mantalini
»Let me see the names« replied Ralph impatiently extending his hand for
the bills »Well They are not sure but they are safe enough Do you consent to
the terms and will you take the money I dont want you to do so I would
rather you didnt«
»Demmit Nickleby cant you « began Mr Mantalini
»No« replied Ralph interrupting him »I cant Will you take the money
down mind no delay no going into the city and pretending to negotiate with
some other party who has no existence and never had Is it a bargain or is it
not«
Ralph pushed some papers from him as he spoke and carelessly rattled his
cashbox as though by mere accident The sound was too much for Mr Mantalini
He closed the bargain directly it reached his ears and Ralph told the money out
upon the table
He had scarcely done so and Mr Mantalini had not yet gathered it all up
when a ring was heard at the bell and immediately afterwards Newman ushered in
no less a person than Madame Mantalini at sight of whom Mr Mantalini evinced
considerable discomposure and swept the cash into his pocket with remarkable
alacrity
»Oh you are here« said Madame Mantalini tossing her head
»Yes my life and soul I am« replied her husband dropping on his knees
and pouncing with kittenlike playfulness upon a stray sovereign »I am here my
souls delight upon Tom Tiddlers ground picking up the demnition gold and
silver«
»I am ashamed of you« said Madame Mantalini with much indignation
»Ashamed Of me my joy It knows it is talking demd charming sweetness but
naughty fibs« returned Mr Mantalini »It knows it is not ashamed of its own
popolorum tibby«
Whatever were the circumstances which had led to such a result it certainly
appeared as though the popolorum tibby had rather miscalculated for the nonce
the extent of his ladys affection Madame Mantalini only looked scornful in
reply and turning to Ralph begged him to excuse her intrusion
»Which is entirely attributable« said Madame »to the gross misconduct and
most improper behaviour of Mr Mantalini«
»Of me my essential juice of pineapple«
»Of you« returned his wife »But I will not allow it I will not submit to
be ruined by the extravagance and profligacy of any man I call Mr Nickleby to
witness the course I intend to pursue with you«
»Pray dont call me to witness anything maam« said Ralph »Settle it
between yourselves settle it between yourselves«
»No but I must beg you as a favour« said Madame Mantalini »to hear me
give him notice of what it is my fixed intention to do my fixed intention
sir« repeated Madame Mantalini darting an angry look at her husband
»Will she call me Sir« cried Mantalini »Me who doat upon her with the
demdest ardour She who coils her fascinations round me like a pure and angelic
rattlesnake It will be all up with my feelings she will throw me into a demd
state«
»Dont talk of feelings sir« rejoined Madame Mantalini seating herself
and turning her back upon him »You dont consider mine«
»I do not consider yours my soul« exclaimed Mr Mantalini
»No« replied his wife
And notwithstanding various blandishments on the part of Mr Mantalini
Madame Mantalini still said no and said it too with such determined and
resolute ill temper that Mr Mantalini was clearly taken aback
»His extravagance Mr Nickleby« said Madame Mantalini addressing herself
to Ralph who leant against his easychair with his hands behind him and
regarded the amiable couple with a smile of the supremest and most unmitigated
contempt »His extravagance is beyond all bounds«
»I should scarcely have supposed it« answered Ralph sarcastically
»I assure you Mr Nickleby however that it is« returned Madame
Mantalini »It makes me miserable I am under constant apprehensions and in
constant difficulty And even this« said Madame Mantalini wiping her eyes »is
not the worst He took some papers of value out of my desk this morning without
asking my permission«
Mr Mantalini groaned slightly and buttoned his trowsers pocket
»I am obliged« continued Madame Mantalini »since our last misfortunes to
pay Miss Knag a great deal of money for having her name in the business and I
really cannot afford to encourage him in all his wastefulness As I have no
doubt that he came straight here Mr Nickleby to convert the papers I have
spoken of into money and as you have assisted us very often before and are
very much connected with us in this kind of matters I wish you to know the
determination at which his conduct has compelled me to arrive«
Mr Mantalini groaned once more from behind his wifes bonnet and fitting a
sovereign into one of his eyes winked with the other at Ralph Having achieved
this performance with great dexterity he whipped the coin into his pocket and
groaned again with increased penitence
»I have made up my mind« said Madame Mantalini as tokens of impatience
manifested themselves in Ralphs countenance »to allowance him«
»To do what my joy« inquired Mr Mantalini who did not seem to have
caught the words
»To put him« said Madame Mantalini looking at Ralph and prudently
abstaining from the slightest glance at her husband lest his many graces should
induce her to falter in her resolution »to put him upon a fixed allowance and
I say that if he has a hundred and twenty pounds ayear for his clothes and
pocketmoney he may consider himself a very fortunate man«
Mr Mantalini waited with much decorum to hear the amount of the proposed
stipend but when it reached his ears he cast his hat and cane upon the floor
and drawing out his pockethandkerchief gave vent to his feelings in a dismal
moan
»Demnition« cried Mr Mantalini suddenly skipping out of his chair and as
suddenly skipping into it again to the great discomposure of his ladys nerves
»But no It is a demd horrid dream It is not reality No«
Comforting himself with this assurance Mr Mantalini closed his eyes and
waited patiently till such time as he should wake up
»A very judicious arrangement« observed Ralph with a sneer »if your
husband will keep within it maam as no doubt he will«
»Demmit« exclaimed Mr Mantalini opening his eyes at the sound of Ralphs
voice »it is a horrid reality She is sitting there before me There is the
graceful outline of her form it cannot be mistaken there is nothing like it
The two countesses had no outlines at all and the dowagers was a demd outline
Why is she so excruciatingly beautiful that I cannot be angry with her even
now«
»You have brought it upon yourself Alfred« returned Madame Mantalini
still reproachfully but in a softened tone
»I am a demd villain« cried Mr Mantalini smiting himself on the head »I
will fill my pockets with change for a sovereign in halfpence and drown myself
in the Thames but I will not be angry with her even then for I will put a
note in the twopenny post as I go along to tell her where the body is She
will be a lovely widow I shall be a body Some handsome women will cry she
will laugh demnebly«
»Alfred you cruel cruel creature« said Madame Mantalini sobbing at the
dreadful picture
»She calls me cruel me me who for her sake will become a demd damp
moist unpleasant body« exclaimed Mr Mantalini
»You know it almost breaks my heart even to hear you talk of such a thing«
replied Madame Mantalini
»Can I live to be mistrusted« cried her husband »Have I cut my heart into
a demd extraordinary number of little pieces and given them all away one after
another to the same little engrossing demnition captivater and can I live to
be suspected by her Demmit no I cant«
»Ask Mr Nickleby whether the sum I have mentioned is not a proper one«
reasoned Madame Mantalini
»I dont want any sum« replied her disconsolate husband »I shall require
no demd allowance I will be a body«
On this repetition of Mr Mantalinis fatal threat Madame Mantalini wrung
her hands and implored the interference of Ralph Nickleby and after a great
quantity of tears and talking and several attempts on the part of Mr Mantalini
to reach the door preparatory to straightway committing violence upon himself
that gentleman was prevailed upon with difficulty to promise that he wouldnt
be a body This great point attained Madame Mantalini argued the question of
the allowance and Mr Mantalini did the same taking occasion to show that he
could live with uncommon satisfaction upon bread and water and go clad in rags
but that he could not support existence with the additional burden of being
mistrusted by the object of his most devoted and disinterested affection This
brought fresh tears into Madame Mantalinis eyes which having just begun to
open to some few of the demerits of Mr Mantalini were only open a very little
way and could be easily closed again The result was that without quite giving
up the allowance question Madame Mantalini postponed its further consideration
and Ralph saw clearly enough that Mr Mantalini had gained a fresh lease of
his easy life and that for some time longer at all events his degradation and
downfall were postponed
»But it will come soon enough« thought Ralph »all love bah that I
should use the cant of boys and girls is fleeting enough though that which
has its sole root in the admiration of a whiskered face like that of yonder
baboon perhaps lasts the longest as it originates in the greater blindness and
is fed by vanity Meantime the fools bring grist to my mill so let them live
out their day and the longer it is the better«
These agreeable reflections occurred to Ralph Nickleby as sundry small
caresses and endearments supposed to be unseen were exchanged between the
objects of his thoughts
»If you have nothing more to say my dear to Mr Nickleby« said Madame
Mantalini »we will take our leaves I am sure we have detained him much too
long already«
Mr Mantalini answered in the first instance, by tapping Madame Mantalini
several times on the nose and then by remarking in words that he had nothing
more to say
»Demmit I have though« he added almost immediately drawing Ralph into a
corner »Heres an affair about your friend Sir Mulberry Such a demd
extraordinary outoftheway kind of thing as never was«
»What do you mean« asked Ralph
»Dont you know demmit« asked Mr Mantalini
»I see by the paper that he was thrown from his cabriolet last night and
severely injured and that his life is in some danger« answered Ralph with
great composure »but I see nothing extraordinary in that Accidents are not
miraculous events when men live hard and drive after dinner«
»Whew« cried Mr Mantalini in a long shrill whistle »Then dont you know
how it was«
»Not unless it was as I have just supposed« replied Ralph shrugging his
shoulders carelessly as if to give his questioner to understand that he had no
curiosity upon the subject
»Demmit you amaze me« cried Mantalini
Ralph shrugged his shoulders again as if it were no great feat to amaze Mr
Mantalini and cast a wistful glance at the face of Newman Noggs which had
several times appeared behind a couple of panes of glass in the room door it
being a part of Newmans duty when unimportant people called to make various
feints of supposing that the bell had rung for him to show them out by way of a
gentle hint to such visitors that it was time to go
»Dont you know« said Mr Mantalini taking Ralph by the button »that it
wasnt an accident at all but a demd furious manslaughtering attack made upon
him by your nephew«
»What« snarled Ralph clenching his fists and turning a livid white
»Demmit Nickleby youre as great a tiger as he is« said Mantalini
alarmed at these demonstrations
»Go on« cried Ralph »Tell me what you mean What is this story Who told
you Speak« growled Ralph »Do you hear me«
»Gad Nickleby« said Mr Mantalini retreating towards his wife »what a
demneble fierce old evil genius you are Youre enough to frighten my life and
soul out of her little delicious wits flying all at once into such a blazing
ravaging raging passion as never was demmit«
»Pshaw« rejoined Ralph forcing a smile »It is but manner«
»It is a demd uncomfortable privatemadhousesort of manner« said Mr
Mantalini picking up his cane
Ralph affected to smile and once more inquired from whom Mr Mantalini had
derived his information
»From Pyke And a demd fine pleasant gentlemanly dog it is« replied
Mantalini »Demnition pleasant and a tiptop sawyer«
»And what said he« asked Ralph knitting his brows
»That it happened this way that your nephew met him at a coffeehouse
fell upon him with the most demneble ferocity followed him to his cab swore he
would ride home with him if he rode upon the horses back or hooked himself on
to the horses tail smashed his countenance which is a demd fine countenance
in its natural state frightened the horse pitched out Sir Mulberry and
himself and «
»And was killed« interposed Ralph with gleaming eyes »Was he Is he dead«
Mantalini shook his head
»Ugh« said Ralph turning away »Then he has done nothing Stay« he added
looking round again »He broke a leg or an arm or put his shoulder out or
fractured his collarbone or ground a rib or two His neck was saved for the
halter but he got some painful and slowhealing injury for his trouble Did he
You must have heard that at least«
»No« rejoined Mantalini shaking his head again »Unless he was dashed into
such little pieces that they blew away he wasnt hurt for he went off as quiet
and comfortable as as as demnition« said Mr Mantalini rather at a loss
for a simile
»And what« said Ralph hesitating a little »what was the cause of
quarrel«
»You are the demdest knowing hand« replied Mr Mantalini in an admiring
tone »the cunningest rummest superlativest old fox oh dem to pretend now
not to know that it was the little brighteyed niece the softest sweetest
prettiest «
»Alfred« interposed Madame Mantalini
»She is always right« rejoined Mr Mantalini soothingly »and when she says
it is time to go it is time and go she shall and when she walks along the
streets with her own tulip the women shall say with envy she has got a demd
fine husband and the men shall say with rapture he has got a demd fine wife
and they shall both be right and neither wrong upon my life and soul oh
demmit«
With which remarks and many more no less intellectual and to the purpose
Mr Mantalini kissed the fingers of his gloves to Ralph Nickleby and drawing
his ladys arm through his led her mincingly away
»So so« muttered Ralph dropping into his chair »this devil is loose
again and thwarting me as he was born to do at every turn He told me once
there should be a day of reckoning between us sooner or later Ill make him a
true prophet for it shall surely come«
»Are you at home« asked Newman suddenly popping in his head
»No« replied Ralph with equal abruptness
Newman withdrew his head but thrust it in again
»Youre quite sure youre not at home are you« said Newman
»What does the idiot mean« cried Ralph testily
»He has been waiting nearly ever since they first came in and may have
heard your voice thats all« said Newman rubbing his hands
»Who has« demanded Ralph wrought by the intelligence he had just heard
and his clerks provoking coolness to an intense pitch of irritation
The necessity of a reply was superseded by the unlookedfor entrance of a
third party the individual in question who bringing his one eye for he had
but one to bear on Ralph Nickleby made a great many shambling bows and sat
himself down in an armchair with his hands on his knees and his short black
trousers drawn up so high in the legs by the exertion of seating himself that
they scarcely reached below the tops of his Wellington boots
»Why this is a surprise« said Ralph bending his gaze upon the visitor
and half smiling as he scrutinized him attentively »I should know your face
Mr Squeers«
»Ah« replied that worthy »and youd have knowd it better sir if it
hadnt been for all that Ive been agoing through Just lift that little boy
off the tall stool in the back office and tell him to come in here will you
my man« said Squeers addressing himself to Newman »Oh hes lifted hisself
off My son sir little Wackford What do you think of him sir for a specimen
of the Dotheboys Hall feeding Aint he fit to bust out of his clothes and
start the seams and make the very buttons fly off with his fatness Heres
flesh« cried Squeers turning the boy about and indenting the plumpest parts
of his figure with divers pokes and punches to the great discomposure of his
son and heir »Heres firmness heres solidness Why you can hardly get up
enough of him between your finger and thumb to pinch him anywheres«
In however good condition Master Squeers might have been he certainly did
not present this remarkable compactness of person for on his fathers closing
his finger and thumb in illustration of his remark he uttered a sharp cry and
rubbed the place in the most natural manner possible
»Well« remarked Squeers a little disconcerted »I had him there but
thats because we breakfasted early this morning and he hasnt had his lunch
yet Why you couldnt shut a bit of him in a door when hes had his dinner
Look at them tears sir« said Squeers with a triumphant air as Master
Wackford wiped his eyes with the cuff of his jacket »theres oiliness«
»He looks well indeed« returned Ralph who for some purposes of his own
seemed desirous to conciliate the schoolmaster »But how is Mrs Squeers and
how are you«
»Mrs Squeers sir« replied the proprietor of Dotheboys »is as she always
is a mother to them lads and a blessing and a comfort and a joy to all them
as knows her One of our boys gorging hisself with vittles and then turning
ill thats their way got a abscess on him last week To see how she operated
upon him with a penknife Oh Lor« said Squeers heaving a sigh and nodding
his head a great many times »what a member of society that woman is«
Mr Squeers indulged in a retrospective look for some quarter of a minute
as if this allusion to his ladys excellences had naturally led his mind to the
peaceful village of Dotheboys near Greta Bridge in Yorkshire and he then looked
at Ralph as if waiting for him to say something
»Have you quite recovered that scoundrels attack« asked Ralph
»Ive only just done it if Ive done it now« replied Squeers »I was one
blessed bruise sir« said Squeers touching first the roots of his hair and
then the toes of his boots »from here to there Vinegar and brown paper
vinegar and brown paper from morning to night I suppose there was a matter of
half a ream of brown paper stuck upon me from first to last As I laid all of a
heap in our kitchen plastered all over you might have thought I was a large
brown paper parcel chock full of nothing but groans Did I groan loud
Wackford or did I groan soft« asked Mr Squeers appealing to his son
»Loud« replied Wackford
»Was the boys sorry to see me in such a dreadful condition Wackford or was
they glad« asked Mr Squeers in a sentimental manner
»Gl«
»Eh« cried Squeers turning sharp round
»Sorry« rejoined his son
»Oh« said Squeers catching him a smart box on the ear »Then take your
hands out of your pockets and dont stammer when youre asked a question Hold
your noise sir in a gentlemans office or Ill run away from my family and
never come back any more and then what would become of all them precious and
forlorn lads as would be let loose on the world without their best friend at
their elbers«
»Were you obliged to have medical attendance« inquired Ralph
»Ay was I« rejoined Squeers »and a precious bill the medical attendant
brought in too but I paid it though«
Ralph elevated his eyebrows in a manner which might be well expressive of
either sympathy or astonishment Just as the beholder was pleased to take it
»Yes I paid it every farthing« replied Squeers who seemed to know the
man he had to deal with too well to suppose that any blinking of the question
would induce him to subscribe towards the expenses »I wasnt out of pocket by
it after all either«
»No« said Ralph
»Not a halfpenny« replied Squeers »The fact is we have only one extra
with our boys and that is for doctors when required and not then unless
were sure of our customers Do you see«
»I understand« said Ralph
»Very good« rejoined Squeers »Then after my bill was run up we picked
out five little boys sons of small tradesmen as was sure pay that had never
had the scarlet fever and we sent one to a cottage where theyd got it and he
took it and then we put the four others to sleep with him and they took it
and then the doctor came and attended em once all round and we divided my
total among em and added it on to their little bills and the parents paid it
Ha ha ha«
»And a good plan too« said Ralph eyeing the schoolmaster stealthily
»I believe you« rejoined Squeers »We always do it Why when Mrs Squeers
was brought to bed with little Wackford here we ran the whoopingcough through
halfadozen boys and charged her expenses among em monthly nurse included
Ha ha ha«
Ralph never laughed but on this occasion he produced the nearest approach
to it that he could and waiting until Mr Squeers had enjoyed the professional
joke to his hearts content enquired what had brought him to town
»Some bothering law business« replied Squeers scratching his head
»connected with an action for what they call neglect of a boy I dont know
what they would have He had as good grazing that boy had as there is about
us«
Ralph looked as if he did not quite understand the observation
»Grazing« said Squeers raising his voice under the impression that as
Ralph failed to comprehend him he must be deaf »When a boy gets weak and ill
and dont relish his meals we give him a change of diet turn him out for an
hour or so every day into a neighbours turnip field or sometimes if its a
delicate case a turnip field and a piece of carrots alternately and let him
eat as many as he likes There ant better land in the county than this perwerse
lad grazed on and yet he goes and catches cold and indigestion and what not
and then his friends brings a lawsuit against me Now youd hardly suppose«
added Squeers moving in his chair with the impatience of an illused man »that
peoples ingratitude would carry them quite as far as that would you«
»A hard case indeed« observed Ralph
»You dont say more than the truth when you say that« replied Squeers »I
dont suppose theres a man going as possesses the fondness for youth that I
do Theres youth to the amount of eight hundred pound ayear at Dotheboys Hall
at this present time Id take sixteen hundred pound worth if I could get em
and be as fond of every individual twenty pound among em as nothing should
equal it«
»Are you stopping at your old quarters« asked Ralph
»Yes we are at the Saracen« replied Squeers »and as it dont want very
long to the end of the halfyear we shall continney to stop there till Ive
collected the money and some new boys too I hope Ive brought little Wackford
up on purpose to show to parents and guardians I shall put him in the
advertisement this time Look at that boy himself a pupil Why hes a miracle
of high feeding that boy is«
»I should like to have a word with you« said Ralph who had both spoken and
listened mechanically for some time and seemed to have been thinking
»As many words as you like sir« rejoined Squeers »Wackford you go and
play in the back office and dont move about too much or youll get thin and
that wont do You havent got such a thing as twopence Mr Nickleby have
you« said Squeers rattling a bunch of keys in his coat pocket and muttering
something about its being all silver
»I think I have« said Ralph very slowly and producing after much
rummaging in an old drawer a penny a halfpenny and two farthings
»Thankee« said Squeers bestowing it upon his son »Here You go and buy a
tart Mr Nicklebys man will show you where and mind you buy a rich one
Pastry« added Squeers closing the door on Master Wackford »makes his flesh
shine a good deal and parents thinks that a healthy sign«
With this explanation and a peculiarly knowing look to eke it out Mr
Squeers moved his chair so as to bring himself opposite to Ralph Nickleby at no
great distance off and having planted it to his entire satisfaction sat down
»Attend to me« said Ralph bending forward a little
Squeers nodded
»I am not to suppose« said Ralph »that you are dolt enough to forgive or
forget very readily the violence that was committed upon you or the exposure
which accompanied it«
»Devil a bit« replied Squeers tartly
»Or to lose an opportunity of repaying it with interest if you could get
one« said Ralph
»Show me one and try« rejoined Squeers
»Some such object it was that induced you to call on me« said Ralph
raising his eyes to the schoolmasters face
»Nnno I dont know that« replied Squeers »I thought that if it was in
your power to make me besides the trifle of money you sent any compensation «
»Ah« cried Ralph interrupting him »You neednt go on«
After a long pause during which Ralph appeared absorbed in contemplation
he again broke silence by asking
»Who is this boy that he took with him«
Squeers stated his name
»Was he young or old healthy or sickly tractable or rebellious Speak out
man« retorted Ralph
»Why he wasnt young« answered Squeers »that is not young for a boy you
know«
»That is he was not a boy at all I suppose« interrupted Ralph
»Well« returned Squeers briskly as if he felt relieved by the suggestion
»he might have been nigh twenty He wouldnt seem so old though to them as
didnt know him for he was a little wanting here« touching his forehead
»nobody at home you know if you knocked ever so often«
»And you did knock pretty often I dare say« muttered Ralph
»Pretty well« returned Squeers with a grin
»When you wrote to acknowledge the receipt of this trifle of money as you
call it« said Ralph »you told me his friends had deserted him long ago and
that you had not the faintest clue or trace to tell you who he was Is that the
truth«
»It is worse luck« replied Squeers becoming more and more easy and
familiar in his manner as Ralph pursued his enquiries with the less reserve
»Its fourteen years ago by the entry in my book since a strange man brought
him to my place one autumn night and left him there paying five pound five
for his first quarter in advance He might have been five or six year old at
that time not more«
»What more do you know about him« demanded Ralph
»Devilish little Im sorry to say« replied Squeers »The money was paid
for some six or eight year and then it stopped He had given an address in
London had this chap but when it came to the point of course nobody knowed
anything about him So I kept the lad out of out of «
»Charity« suggested Ralph drily
»Charity to be sure« returned Squeers rubbing his knees »and when he
begins to be useful in a certain sort of way this young scoundrel of a Nickleby
comes and carries him off But the most vexatious and aggeravating part of the
whole affair is« said Squeers dropping his voice and drawing his chair still
closer to Ralph »that some questions have been asked about him at last not of
me but in a roundabout kind of way of people in our village So that just
when I might have had all arrears paid up perhaps and perhaps who knows
such things have happened in our business before a present besides for putting
him out to a farmer or sending him to sea so that he might never turn up to
disgrace his parents supposing him to be a natural boy as many of our boys are
damme if that villain of a Nickleby dont collar him in open day and commit
as good as highway robbery upon my pocket«
»We will both cry quits with him before long« said Ralph laying his hand
on the arm of the Yorkshire schoolmaster
»Quits« echoed Squeers »Ah and I should like to leave a small balance in
his favour to be settled when he can I only wish Mrs Squeers could catch hold
of him Bless her heart Shed murder him Mr Nickleby She would as soon as
eat her dinner«
»We will talk of this again« said Ralph »I must have time to think of it
To wound him through his own affections and fancies If I could strike him
through this boy «
»Strike him how you like sir« interrupted Squeers »only hit him hard
enough thats all And with that Ill say good morning Here just chuck
that little boys hat off that cornerpeg and lift him off the stool will
you«
Bawling these requests to Newman Noggs Mr Squeers betook himself to the
little back office and fitted on his childs hat with parental anxiety while
Newman with his pen behind his ear sat stiff and immovable on his stool
regarding the father and son by turns with a broad stare
»Hes a fine boy ant he« said Squeers throwing his head a little on one
side and falling back to the desk the better to estimate the proportions of
little Wackford
»Very« said Newman
»Pretty well swelled out ant he« pursued Squeers »He has the fatness of
twenty boys he has«
»Ah« replied Newman suddenly thrusting his face into that of Squeers »he
has the fatness of twenty more Hes got it all God help the others Ha
ha Oh Lord«
Having uttered these fragmentary observations Newman dropped upon his desk
and began to write with most marvellous rapidity
»Why what does the man mean« cried Squeers colouring »Is he drunk«
Newman made no reply
»Is he mad« said Squeers
But still Newman betrayed no consciousness of any presence save his own so
Mr Squeers comforted himself by saying that he was both drunk and mad and
with this parting observation he led his hopeful son away
In exact proportion as Ralph Nickleby became conscious of a struggling and
lingering regard for Kate had his detestation of Nicholas augmented It might
be that to atone for the weakness of inclining to any one person he held it
necessary to hate some other more intensely than before but such had been the
course of his feelings And now to be defied and spurned to be held up to her
in the worst and most repulsive colours to know that she was taught to hate and
despise him to feel that there was infection in his touch and taint in his
companionship to know all this and to know that the mover of it all was that
same boyish poor relation who had twitted him in their very first interview and
openly bearded and braved him since wrought his quiet and stealthy malignity to
such a pitch that there was scarcely anything he would not have hazarded to
gratify it if he could have seen his way to some immediate retaliation
But fortunately for Nicholas Ralph Nickleby did not and although he cast
about all that day and kept a corner of his brain working on the one anxious
subject through all the round of schemes and business that came with it night
found him at last still harping on the same theme and still pursuing the same
unprofitable reflections
»When my brother was such as he« said Ralph »the first comparisons were
drawn between us Always in my disfavour He was open liberal gallant gay I
a crafty hunks of cold and stagnant blood with no passion but love of saving
and no spirit beyond a thirst for gain I recollected it well when I first saw
this whipster but I remember it better now«
He had been occupied in tearing Nicholass letter into atoms and as he
spoke he scattered it in a tiny shower about him
»Recollections like these« pursued Ralph with a bitter smile »flock upon
me when I resign myself to them in crowds and from countless quarters As a
portion of the world affect to despise the power of money I must try and show
them what it is«
And being by this time in a pleasant frame of mind for slumber Ralph
Nickleby went to bed
Chapter XXXV
Smike Becomes Known to Mrs Nickleby and Kate Nicholas Also Meets with New
Acquaintances Brighter Days Seem to Dawn Upon the Family
Having established his mother and sister in the apartments of the kindhearted
miniature painter and ascertained that Sir Mulberry Hawk was in no danger of
losing his life Nicholas turned his thoughts to poor Smike who after
breakfasting with Newman Noggs had remained in a disconsolate state at that
worthy creatures lodgings waiting with much anxiety for further intelligence
of his protector
»As he will be one of our own little household wherever we live or
whatever fortune is in reserve for us« thought Nicholas »I must present the
poor fellow in due form They will be kind to him for his own sake and if not
on that account solely to the full extent I could wish they will stretch a
point I am sure for mine«
Nicholas said »they« but his misgivings were confined to one person He was
sure of Kate but he knew his mothers peculiarities and was not quite so
certain that Smike would find favour in the eyes of Mrs Nickleby
»However« thought Nicholas as he departed on his benevolent errand »she
cannot fail to become attached to him when she knows what a devoted creature he
is and as she must quickly make the discovery his probation will be a short
one«
»I was afraid« said Smike overjoyed to see his friend again »that you had
fallen into some fresh trouble the time seemed so long at last that I almost
feared you were lost«
»Lost« replied Nicholas gaily »You will not be rid of me so easily I
promise you I shall rise to the surface many thousand times yet and the harder
the thrust that pushes me down the more quickly I shall rebound Smike But
come my errand here is to take you home«
»Home« faltered Smike drawing timidly back
»Ay« rejoined Nicholas taking his arm »Why not«
»I had such hopes once« said Smike »day and night day and night for many
years I longed for home till I was weary and pined away with grief but now «
»And what now« asked Nicholas looking kindly in his face »What now old
friend«
»I could not part from you to go to any home on earth« replied Smike
pressing his hand »except one except one I shall never be an old man and if
your hand placed me in the grave and I could think before I died that you
would come and look upon it sometimes with one of your kind smiles and in the
summer weather when everything was alive not dead like me I could go to
that home almost without a tear«
»Why do you talk thus poor boy if your life is a happy one with me« said
Nicholas
»Because I should change not those about me And if they forgot me I
should never know it« replied Smike »In the churchyard we are all alike but
here there are none like me I am a poor creature but I know that«
»You are a foolish silly creature« said Nicholas cheerfully »If that is
what you mean I grant you that Why heres a dismal face for ladies company
my pretty sister too whom you have so often asked me about Is this your
Yorkshire gallantry For shame for shame«
Smike brightened up and smiled
»When I talk of homes« pursued Nicholas »I talk of mine which is yours
of course If it were defined by any particular four walls and a roof God knows
I should be sufficiently puzzled to say whereabouts it lay but that is not what
I mean When I speak of home I speak of the place where in default of a
better those I love are gathered together and if that place were a gipsys
tent or a barn I should call it by the same good name notwithstanding And
now for what is my present home which however alarming your expectations may
be will neither terrify you by its extent nor its magnificence«
So saying Nicholas took his companion by the arm and saying a great deal
more to the same purpose and pointing out various things to amuse and interest
him as they went along led the way to Miss La Creevys house
»And this Kate« said Nicholas entering the room where his sister sat
alone »is the faithful friend and affectionate fellowtraveller whom I prepared
you to receive«
Poor Smike was bashful and awkward and frightened enough at first but
Kate advanced towards him so kindly and said in such a sweet voice how
anxious she had been to see him after all her brother had told her and how much
she had to thank him for having comforted Nicholas so greatly in their very
trying reverses that he began to be very doubtful whether he should shed tears
or not and became still more flurried However he managed to say in a broken
voice that Nicholas was his only friend and that he would lay down his life to
help him and Kate although she was so kind and considerate seemed to be so
wholly unconscious of his distress and embarrassment that he recovered almost
immediately and felt quite at home
Then Miss La Creevy came in and to her Smike had to be presented also And
Miss La Creevy was very kind too and wonderfully talkative not to Smike for
that would have made him uneasy at first but to Nicholas and his sister Then
after a time she would speak to Smike himself now and then asking him whether
he was a judge of likenesses and whether he thought that picture in the corner
was like herself and whether he didnt think it would have looked better if she
had made herself ten years younger and whether he didnt think as a matter of
general observation that young ladies looked better not only in pictures but
out of them too than old ones with many more small jokes and facetious
remarks which were delivered with such goodhumour and merriment that Smike
thought within himself she was the nicest lady he had ever seen even nicer
than Mrs Grudden of Mr Vincent Crummless theatre and she was a nice lady
too and talked perhaps more but certainly louder than Miss La Creevy
At length the door opened again and a lady in mourning came in and
Nicholas kissing the lady in mourning affectionately and calling her his
mother led her towards the chair from which Smike had risen when she entered
the room
»You are always kindhearted and anxious to help the oppressed my dear
mother« said Nicholas »so you will be favourably disposed towards him I
know«
»I am sure my dear Nicholas« replied Mrs Nickleby looking very hard at
her new friend and bending to him with something more of majesty than the
occasion seemed to require »I am sure any friend of yours has as indeed he
naturally ought to have and must have of course you know a great claim upon
me and of course it is a very great pleasure to me to be introduced to anybody
you take an interest in There can be no doubt about that none at all not the
least in the world« said Mrs Nickleby »At the same time I must say Nicholas
my dear as I used to say to your poor dear papa when he would bring gentlemen
home to dinner and there was nothing in the house that if he had come the day
before yesterday no I dont mean the day before yesterday I should have
said perhaps the year before last we should have been better able to
entertain him«
With which remarks Mrs Nickleby turned to her daughter and inquired in
an audible whisper whether the gentleman was going to stop all night
»Because if he is Kate my dear« said Mrs Nickleby »I dont see that
its possible for him to sleep anywhere and thats the truth«
Kate stepped gracefully forward and without any show of annoyance or
irritation breathed a few words into her mothers ear
»La Kate my dear« said Mrs Nickleby shrinking back »how you do tickle
one Of course I understand that my love without your telling me and I said
the same to Nicholas and I am very much pleased You didnt tell me Nicholas
my dear« added Mrs Nickleby turning round with an air of less reserve than
she had before assumed »what your friends name is«
»His name mother« replied Nicholas »is Smike«
The effect of this communication was by no means anticipated but the name
was no sooner pronounced than Mrs Nickleby dropped upon a chair and burst
into a fit of crying
»What is the matter« exclaimed Nicholas running to support her
»Its so like Pyke« cried Mrs Nickleby »so exactly like Pyke Oh dont
speak to me I shall be better presently«
After exhibiting every symptom of slow suffocation in all its stages and
drinking about a teaspoonful of water from a full tumbler and spilling the
remainder Mrs Nickleby was better and remarked with a feeble smile that she
was very foolish she knew
»Its a weakness in our family« said Mrs Nickleby »so of course I cant
be blamed for it Your grandmama Kate was exactly the same precisely The
least excitement the slightest surprise she fainted away directly I have
heard her say often and often that when she was a young lady and before she
was married she was turning a corner into Oxfordstreet one day when she ran
against her own hairdresser who it seems was escaping from a bear the mere
suddenness of the encounter made her faint away directly Wait though« added
Mrs Nickleby pausing to consider »Let me be sure Im right Was it her
hairdresser who had escaped from a bear or was it a bear who had escaped from
her hairdressers I declare I cant remember just now but the hairdresser
was a very handsome man I know and quite a gentleman in his manners so that
it has nothing to do with the point of the story«
Mrs Nickleby having fallen imperceptibly into one of her retrospective
moods improved in temper from that moment and glided by an easy change of the
conversation occasionally into various other anecdotes no less remarkable for
their strict application to the subject in hand
»Mr Smike is from Yorkshire Nicholas my dear« said Mrs Nickleby after
dinner and when she had been silent for some time
»Certainly mother« replied Nicholas »I see you have not forgotten his
melancholy history«
»O dear no« cried Mrs Nickleby »Ah Melancholy indeed You dont happen
Mr Smike ever to have dined with the Grimbles of Grimble Hall somewhere in
the North Riding do you« said the good lady addressing herself to him »A
very proud man Sir Thomas Grimble with six grownup and most lovely daughters
and the finest park in the county«
»My dear mother« reasoned Nicholas »do you suppose that the unfortunate
outcast of a Yorkshire school was likely to receive many cards of invitation
from the nobility and gentry in the neighbourhood«
»Really my dear I dont know why it should be so very extraordinary« said
Mrs Nickleby »I know that when I was at school I always went at least twice
every halfyear to the Hawkinses at Taunton Vale and they are much richer than
the Grimbles and connected with them in marriage so you see its not so very
unlikely after all«
Having put down Nicholas in this triumphant manner Mrs Nickleby was
suddenly seized with a forgetfulness of Smikes real name and an irresistible
tendency to call him Mr Slammons which circumstance she attributed to the
remarkable similarity of the two names in point of sound both beginning with an
S and moreover being spelt with an M But whatever doubt there might be on this
point there was none as to his being a most excellent listener which
circumstance had considerable influence in placing them on the very best terms
and in inducing Mrs Nickleby to express the highest opinion of his general
deportment and disposition
Thus the little circle remained on the most amicable and agreeable
footing until the Monday morning when Nicholas withdrew himself from it for a
short time seriously to reflect upon the state of his affairs and to
determine, if he could upon some course of life which would enable him to
support those who were so entirely dependent upon his exertions
Mr Crummles occurred to him more than once but although Kate was
acquainted with the whole history of his connection with that gentleman his
mother was not and he foresaw a thousand fretful objections on her part to
his seeking a livelihood upon the stage There were graver reasons too against
his returning to that mode of life Independently of those arising out of its
spare and precarious earnings and his own internal conviction that he could
never hope to aspire to any great distinction even as a provincial actor how
could he carry his sister from town to town and place to place and debar her
from any other associates than those with whom he would be compelled almost
without distinction to mingle »It wont do« said Nicholas shaking his head
»I must try something else«
It was much easier to make this resolution than to carry it into effect
With no greater experience of the world than he had acquired for himself in his
short trials with a sufficient share of headlong rashness and precipitation
qualities not altogether unnatural at his time of life with a very slender
stock of money and a still more scanty stock of friends what could he do
»Egad« said Nicholas »Ill try that Register Office again«
He smiled at himself as he walked away with a quick step for an instant
before he had been internally blaming his own precipitation He did not laugh
himself out of the intention however for on he went picturing to himself as
he approached the place all kinds of splendid possibilities and
impossibilities too for that matter and thinking himself perhaps with good
reason very fortunate to be endowed with so buoyant and sanguine a temperament
The office looked just the same as when he had left it last and indeed
with one or two exceptions there seemed to be the very same placards in the
window that he had seen before There were the same unimpeachable masters and
mistresses in want of virtuous servants and the same virtuous servants in want
of unimpeachable masters and mistresses and the same magnificent estates for
the investment of capital and the same enormous quantities of capital to be
invested in estates and in short the same opportunities of all sorts for
people who wanted to make their fortunes And a most extraordinary proof it was
of the national prosperity that people had not been found to avail themselves
of such advantages long ago
As Nicholas stopped to look in at the window an old gentleman happened to
stop too Nicholas carrying his eye along the windowpanes from left to right
in search of some capitaltext placard which should be applicable to his own
case caught sight of this old gentlemans figure and instinctively withdrew
his eyes from the window to observe the same more closely
He was a sturdy old fellow in a broadskirted blue coat made pretty large
to fit easily and with no particular waist his bulky legs clothed in drab
breeches and high gaiters and his head protected by a lowcrowned broadbrimmed
white hat such as a wealthy grazier might wear He wore his coat buttoned and
his dimpled doublechin rested in the folds of a white neckerchief not one of
your stiff apoplectic cravats but a good easy oldfashioned white neckcloth
that a man might go to bed in and be none the worse for But what principally
attracted the attention of Nicholas was the old gentlemans eye never was
such a clear twinkling honest merry happy eye as that And there he stood
looking a little upward with one hand thrust into the breast of his coat and
the other playing with his oldfashioned gold watchchain his head thrown a
little on one side and his hat a little more on one side than his head but
that was evidently accident not his ordinary way of wearing it with such a
pleasant smile playing about his mouth and such a comical expression of mingled
slyness simplicity kindheartedness and goodhumour lighting up his jolly
old face that Nicholas would have been content to have stood there and looked
at him until evening and to have forgotten meanwhile that there was such a
thing as a soured mind or a crabbed countenance to be met with in the whole wide
world
But even a very remote approach to this gratification was not to be made
for although he seemed quite unconscious of having been the subject of
observation he looked casually at Nicholas and the latter fearful of giving
offence resumed his scrutiny of the window instantly
Still the old gentleman stood there glancing from placard to placard and
Nicholas could not forbear raising his eyes to his face again Grafted upon the
quaintness and oddity of his appearance was something so indescribably
engaging and bespeaking so much worth and there were so many little lights
hovering about the corners of his mouth and eyes that it was not a mere
amusement but a positive pleasure and delight to look at him
This being the case it is no wonder that the old man caught Nicholas in the
fact more than once At such times Nicholas coloured and looked embarrassed
for the truth is that he had begun to wonder whether the stranger could by any
possibility be looking for a clerk or secretary and thinking this he felt as
if the old gentleman must know it
Long as all this takes to tell it was not more than a couple of minutes in
passing As the stranger was moving away Nicholas caught his eye again and in
the awkwardness of the moment stammered out an apology
»No offence Oh no offence« said the old man
This was said in such a hearty tone and the voice was so exactly what it
should have been from such a speaker and there was such a cordiality in the
manner that Nicholas was emboldened to speak again
»A great many opportunities here sir« he said halfsmiling as he motioned
towards the window
»A great many people willing and anxious to be employed have seriously
thought so very often I dare say« replied the old man »Poor fellows poor
fellows«
He moved away as he said this but seeing that Nicholas was about to
speak goodnaturedly slackened his pace as if he were unwilling to cut him
short After a little of that hesitation which may be sometimes observed between
two people in the street who have exchanged a nod and are both uncertain
whether they shall turn back and speak or not Nicholas found himself at the
old mans side
»You were about to speak young gentleman what were you going to say«
»Merely that I almost hoped I mean to say thought you had some object
in consulting those advertisements« said Nicholas
»Ay ay what object now what object« returned the old man looking slyly
at Nicholas »Did you think I wanted a situation now Eh Did you think I did«
Nicholas shook his head
»Ha ha« laughed the old gentleman rubbing his hands and wrists as if he
were washing them »A very natural thought at all events after seeing me
gazing at those bills I thought the same of you at first upon my word I
did«
»If you had thought so at last too sir you would not have been far from
the truth« rejoined Nicholas
»Eh« cried the old man surveying him from head to foot »What Dear me
No no Wellbehaved young gentleman reduced to such a necessity No no no no«
Nicholas bowed and bidding him good morning turned upon his heel
»Stay« said the old man beckoning him into a bye street where they could
converse with less interruption »What dye mean eh«
»Merely that your kind face and manner both unlike any I have ever seen
tempted me into an avowal which to any other stranger in this wilderness of
London I should not have dreamt of making« returned Nicholas
»Wilderness Yes it is it is Good It is a wilderness« said the old man
with much animation »It was a wilderness to me once I came here barefoot I
have never forgotten it Thank God« and he raised his hat from his head and
looked very grave
»Whats the matter What is it How did it all come about« said the old
man laying his hand on the shoulder of Nicholas and walking him up the street
»Youre Eh« laying his finger on the sleeve of his black coat »Whos it for
eh«
»My father« replied Nicholas
»Ah« said the old gentleman quickly »Bad thing for a young man to lose his
father Widowed mother perhaps«
Nicholas sighed
»Brothers and sisters too Eh«
»One sister« rejoined Nicholas
»Poor thing poor thing Youre a scholar too I dare say« said the old
man looking wistfully into the face of the young one
»I have been tolerably well educated« said Nicholas
»Fine thing« said the old gentleman »education a great thing a very great
thing I never had any I admire it the more in others A very fine thing Yes
yes Tell me more of your history Let me hear it all No impertinent curiosity
no no no«
There was something so earnest and guileless in the way in which all this
was said and such a complete disregard of all conventional restraints and
coldnesses that Nicholas could not resist it Among men who have any sound and
sterling qualities there is nothing so contagious as pure openness of heart
Nicholas took the infection instantly and ran over the main points of his
little history without reserve merely suppressing names and touching as
lightly as possible upon his uncles treatment of Kate The old man listened
with great attention and when he had concluded drew his arm eagerly through
his own
»Dont say another word Not another word« said he »Come along with me We
mustnt lose a minute«
So saying the old gentleman dragged him back into Oxford Street and
hailing an omnibus on its way to the city pushed Nicholas in before him and
followed himself
As he appeared in a most extraordinary condition of restless excitement and
whenever Nicholas offered to speak immediately interposed with »Dont say
another word my dear sir on any account not another word« the young man
thought it better to attempt no further interruption Into the city they
journeyed accordingly without interchanging any conversation and the farther
they went the more Nicholas wondered what the end of the adventure could
possibly be
The old gentleman got out with great alacrity when they reached the Bank
and once more taking Nicholas by the arm hurried him along Threadneedle Street
and through some lanes and passages on the right until they at length emerged
in a quiet shady little square Into the oldest and cleanestlooking house of
business in the square he led the way The only inscription on the doorpost
was Cheeryble Brothers but from a hasty glance at the directions of some
packages which were lying about Nicholas supposed that the Brothers Cheeryble
were Germanmerchants
Passing through a warehouse which presented every indication of a thriving
business Mr Cheeryble for such Nicholas supposed him to be from the respect
which had been shown him by the warehousemen and porters whom they passed led
him into a little partitionedoff countinghouse like a large glasscase in
which countinghouse there sat as free from dust and blemish as if he had been
fixed into the glasscase before the top was put on and had never come out
since a fat elderly largefaced clerk with silver spectacles and a powdered
head
»Is my brother in his room Tim« said Mr Cheeryble with no less kindness
of manner than he had shown to Nicholas
»Yes he is sir« replied the fat clerk turning his spectacleglasses
towards his principal and his eyes towards Nicholas »but Mr Trimmers is with
him«
»Ay And what has he come about Tim« said Mr Cheeryble
»He is getting up a subscription for the widow and family of a man who was
killed in the East India Docks this morning sir« rejoined Tim »Smashed sir
by a cask of sugar«
»He is a good creature« said Mr Cheeryble with great earnestness »He is
a kind soul I am very much obliged to Trimmers Trimmers is one of the best
friends we have He makes a thousand cases known to us that we should never
discover of ourselves I am very much obliged to Trimmers« Saying which Mr
Cheeryble rubbed his hands with infinite delight and Mr Trimmers happening to
pass the door that instant on his way out shot out after him and caught him by
the hand
»I owe you a thousand thanks Trimmers ten thousand thanks I take it very
friendly of you very friendly indeed« said Mr Cheeryble dragging him into a
corner to get out of hearing »How many children are there and what has my
brother Ned given Trimmers«
»There are six children« replied the gentleman »and your brother has given
us twenty pounds«
»My brother Ned is a good fellow and youre a good fellow too Trimmers«
said the old man shaking him by both hands with trembling eagerness »Put me
down for another twenty or stop a minute stop a minute We mustnt look
ostentatious put me down ten pound and Tim Linkinwater ten pound A cheque for
twenty pound for Mr Trimmers Tim God bless you Trimmers and come and dine
with us some day this week youll always find a knife and fork and we shall be
delighted Now my dear sir cheque from Mr Linkinwater Tim Smashed by a
cask of sugar and six poor children oh dear dear dear«
Talking on in this strain as fast as he could to prevent any friendly
remonstrances from the collector of the subscription on the large amount of his
donation Mr Cheeryble led Nicholas equally astonished and affected by what he
had seen and heard in this short space to the halfopened door of another room
»Brother Ned« said Mr Cheeryble tapping with his knuckles and stooping
to listen »are you busy my dear brother or can you spare time for a word or
two with me«
»Brother Charles my dear fellow« replied a voice from the inside so like
in its tones to that which had just spoken that Nicholas started and almost
thought it was the same »dont ask me such a question but come in directly«
They went in without further parley What was the amazement of Nicholas
when his conductor advanced and exchanged a warm greeting with another old
gentleman the very type and model of himself the same face the same figure
the same coat waistcoat and neckcloth the same breeches and gaiters nay
there was the very same white hat hanging against the wall
As they shook each other by the hand the face of each lighted up by
beaming looks of affection which would have been most delightful to behold in
infants and which in men so old was inexpressibly touching Nicholas could
observe that the last old gentleman was something stouter than his brother
this and a slight additional shade of clumsiness in his gait and stature
formed the only perceptible difference between them Nobody could have doubted
their being twin brothers
»Brother Ned« said Nicholass friend closing the roomdoor »here is a
young friend of mine whom we must assist We must make proper inquiries into
his statements in justice to him as well as to ourselves and if they are
confirmed as I feel assured they will be we must assist him we must assist
him brother Ned«
»It is enough my dear brother that you say we should« returned the other
»When you say that no further inquiries are needed He shall be assisted What
are his necessities and what does he require Where is Tim Linkinwater Let us
have him here«
Both the brothers it may be here remarked had a very emphatic and earnest
delivery both had lost nearly the same teeth which imparted the same
peculiarity to their speech and both spoke as if besides possessing the utmost
serenity of mind that the kindliest and most unsuspecting nature could bestow
they had in collecting the plums from Fortunes choicest pudding retained a
few for present use and kept them in their mouths
»Where is Tim Linkinwater« said brother Ned
»Stop stop stop« said brother Charles taking the other aside »Ive a
plan my dear brother Ive a plan Tim is getting old and Tim has been a
faithful servant brother Ned and I dont think pensioning Tims mother and
sister and buying a little tomb for the family when his poor brother died was
a sufficient recompense for his faithful services«
»No no no« replied the other »Certainly not Not half enough not half«
»If we could lighten Tims duties« said the old gentleman »and prevail
upon him to go into the country now and then and sleep in the fresh air two
or three times aweek which he could if he began business an hour later in
the morning old Tim Linkinwater would grow young again in time and hes three
good years our senior now Old Tim Linkinwater young again Eh brother Ned eh
Why I recollect old Tim Linkinwater quite a little boy dont you Ha ha ha
Poor Tim poor Tim«
The fine old fellows laughed pleasantly together each with a tear of regard
for old Tim Linkinwater standing in his eye
»But hear this first hear this first brother Ned« said the old man
hastily placing two chairs one on each side of Nicholas »Ill tell it you
myself brother Ned because the young gentleman is modest and is a scholar
Ned and I shouldnt feel it right that he should tell us his story over and
over again as if he was a beggar or as if we doubted him No no no«
»No no no« returned the other nodding his head gravely »Very right my
dear brother very right«
»He will tell me Im wrong if I make a mistake« said Nicholass friend
»But whether I do or not youll be very much affected brother Ned remembering
the time when we were two friendless lads and earned our first shilling in this
great city«
The twins pressed each others hands in silence and in his own homely
manner brother Charles related the particulars he had heard from Nicholas The
conversation which ensued was a long one and when it was over a secret
conference of almost equal duration took place between brother Ned and Tim
Linkinwater in another room It is no disparagement to Nicholas to say that
before he had been closeted with the two brothers ten minutes he could only
wave his hand at every fresh expression of kindness and sympathy and sob like a
little child
At length brother Ned and Tim Linkinwater came back together when Tim
instantly walked up to Nicholas and whispered in his ear in a very brief
sentence for Tim was ordinarily a man of few words that he had taken down
the address in the Strand and would call upon him that evening at eight
Having done which Tim wiped his spectacles and put them on preparatory to
hearing what more the brothers Cheeryble had got to say
»Tim« said brother Charles »you understand that we have an intention of
taking this young gentleman into the countinghouse«
Brother Ned remarked that Tim was aware of that intention and quite
approved of it Tim having nodded and said he did drew himself up and looked
particularly fat and very important After which there was a profound silence
»Im not coming an hour later in the morning you know« said Tim breaking
out all at once and looking very resolute »Im not going to sleep in the fresh
air no nor Im not going into the country either A pretty thing at this time
of day certainly Pho«
»Damn your obstinacy Tim Linkinwater« said brother Charles looking at him
without the faintest spark of anger and with a countenance radiant with
attachment to the old clerk »Damn your obstinacy Tim Linkinwater what do you
mean sir«
»Its fortyfour year« said Tim making a calculation in the air with his
pen and drawing an imaginary line before he cast it up »fortyfour year next
May since I first kept the books of Cheeryble Brothers Ive opened the safe
every morning all that time Sundays excepted as the clock struck nine and
gone over the house every night at halfpast ten except on Foreign Post nights
and then twenty minutes before twelve to see the doors fastened and the fires
out Ive never slept out of the back attic one single night Theres the same
mignonette box in the middle of the window and the same four flowerpots two
on each side that I brought with me when I first came There ant Ive said
it again and again and Ill maintain it there ant such a square as this in
the world I know there ant« said Tim with sudden energy and looking sternly
about him »Not one For business or pleasure in summer time or winter I
dont care which theres nothing like it Theres not such a spring in England
as the pump under the archway Theres not such a view in England as the view
out of my window Ive seen it every morning before I shaved and I ought to
know something about it I have slept in that room« added Tim sinking his
voice a little »for fourandforty year and if it wasnt inconvenient and
didnt interfere with business I should request leave to die there«
»Damn you Tim Linkinwater how dare you talk about dying« roared the twins
by one impulse and blowing their old noses violently
»Thats what Ive got to say Mr Edwin and Mr Charles« said Tim squaring
his shoulders again »This isnt the first time youve talked about
superannuating me but if you please well make it the last and drop the
subject for evermore«
With those words Tim Linkinwater stalked out and shut himself up in his
glasscase with the air of a man who had had his say and was thoroughly
resolved not to be put down
The brothers interchanged looks and coughed some halfdozen times without
speaking
»He must be done something with brother Ned« said the other warmly »we
must disregard his old scruples they cant be tolerated or borne He must be
made a partner brother Ned and if he wont submit to it peaceably we must
have recourse to violence«
»Quite right« replied brother Ned nodding his head as a man thoroughly
determined »quite right my dear brother If he wont listen to reason we must
do it against his will and show him that we are determined to exert our
authority We must quarrel with him brother Charles«
»We must We certainly must have a quarrel with Tim Linkinwater« said the
other »But in the mean time my dear brother we are keeping our young friend
and the poor lady and her daughter will be anxious for his return So let us say
goodbye for the present and there there take care of that box my dear
sir and no no no not a word now be careful of the crossings and «
And with any disjointed and unconnected words which would prevent Nicholas
from pouring forth his thanks the brothers hurried him out shaking hands with
him all the way and affecting very unsuccessfully they were poor hands at
deception to be wholly unconscious of the feelings that mastered him
Nicholass heart was too full to allow of his turning into the street until
he had recovered some composure When he at last glided out of the dark
doorwaycorner in which he had been compelled to halt he caught a glimpse of
the twins stealthily peeping in at one corner of the glasscase evidently
undecided whether they should follow up their late attack without delay or for
the present postpone laying further siege to the inflexible Tim Linkinwater
To recount all the delight and wonder which the circumstances just detailed
awakened at Miss La Creevys and all the things that were done said thought
expected hoped and prophesied in consequence is beside the present course and
purpose of these adventures It is sufficient to state in brief that Mr
Timothy Linkinwater arrived punctual to his appointment that oddity as he
was and jealous as he was bound to be of the proper exercise of his employers
most comprehensive liberality he reported strongly and warmly in favour of
Nicholas and that next day he was appointed to the vacant stool in the
countinghouse of Cheeryble Brothers with a present salary of one hundred and
twenty pounds a year
»And I think my dear brother« said Nicholass first friend »that if we
were to let them that little cottage at Bow which is empty at something under
the usual rent now Eh brother Ned«
»For nothing at all« said brother Ned »We are rich and should be ashamed
to touch the rent under such circumstances as these Where is Tim Linkinwater
for nothing at all my dear brother for nothing at all«
»Perhaps it would be better to say something brother Ned« suggested the
other mildly »it would help to preserve habits of frugality you know and
remove any painful sense of overwhelming obligations We might say fifteen
pound or twenty pound and if it was punctually paid make it up to them in
some other way And I might secretly advance a small loan towards a little
furniture and you might secretly advance another small loan brother Ned and
if we find them doing well as we shall theres no fear no fear we can
change the loans into gifts Carefully brother Ned and by degrees and without
pressing upon them too much what do you say now brother«
Brother Ned gave his hand upon it and not only said it should be done but
had it done too and in one short week Nicholas took possession of the stool
and Mrs Nickleby and Kate took possession of the house and all was hope
bustle and lightheartedness
There surely never was such a week of discoveries and surprises as the first
week of that cottage Every night when Nicholas came home something new had
been found out One day it was a grape vine and another day it was a boiler
and another day it was the key of the front parlour closet at the bottom of the
waterbutt and so on through a hundred items Then this room was embellished
with a muslin curtain and that room was rendered quite elegant by a
windowblind and such improvements were made as no one would have supposed
possible Then there was Miss La Creevy who had come out in the omnibus to stop
a day or two and help and who was perpetually losing a very small brown paper
parcel of tin tacks and a very large hammer and running about with her sleeves
tucked up at the wrists and falling off pairs of steps and hurting herself very
much and Mrs Nickleby who talked incessantly and did something now and
then but not often and Kate who busied herself noiselessly everywhere and
was pleased with everything and Smike who made the garden a perfect wonder to
look upon and Nicholas who helped and encouraged them every one all the
peace and cheerfulness of home restored with such new zest imparted to every
frugal pleasure and such delight to every hour of meeting as misfortune and
separation alone could give
In short the poor Nicklebys were social and happy while the rich Nickleby
was alone and miserable
Chapter XXXVI
Private and Confidential Relating to Family Matters Showing How Mr Kenwigs
Underwent Violent Agitation and How Mrs Kenwigs Was as Well as Could Be
Expected
It might have been seven oclock in the evening and it was growing dark in the
narrow streets near Golden Square when Mr Kenwigs sent out for a pair of the
cheapest white kid gloves those at fourteenpence and selecting the
strongest which happened to be the righthand one walked down stairs with an
air of pomp and much excitement and proceeded to muffle the knob of the
streetdoor knocker therein Having executed this task with great nicety Mr
Kenwigs pulled the door to after him and just stepped across the road to try
the effect from the opposite side of the street Satisfied that nothing could
possibly look better in its way Mr Kenwigs then stepped back again and
calling through the keyhole to Morleena to open the door vanished into the
house and was seen no longer
Now considered as an abstract circumstance there was no more obvious cause
or reason why Mr Kenwigs should take the trouble of muffling this particular
knocker than there would have been for his muffling the knocker of any nobleman
or gentleman resident ten miles off because for the greater convenience of the
numerous lodgers the streetdoor always stood wide open and the knocker was
never used at all The first floor the second floor and the third floor had
each a bell of its own. As to the attics no one ever called on them if anybody
wanted the parlours they were close at hand and all he had to do was to walk
straight into them while the kitchen had a separate entrance down the
areasteps As a question of mere necessity and usefulness therefore this
muffling of the knocker was thoroughly incomprehensible
But knockers may be muffled for other purposes than those of mere
utilitarianism as in the present instance was clearly shown There are
certain polite forms and ceremonies which must be observed in civilised life or
mankind relapse into their original barbarism No genteel lady was ever yet
confined indeed no genteel confinement can possibly take place without the
accompanying symbol of a muffled knocker Mrs Kenwigs was a lady of some
pretensions to gentility Mrs Kenwigs was confined And therefore Mr Kenwigs
tied up the silent knocker on the premises in a white kid glove
»Im not quite certain neither« said Mr Kenwigs arranging his
shirtcollar and walking slowly up stairs »whether as its a boy I wont
have it in the papers«
Pondering upon the advisability of this step and the sensation it was
likely to create in the neighbourhood Mr Kenwigs betook himself to the
sittingroom where various extremely diminutive articles of clothing were
airing on a horse before the fire and Mr Lumbey the doctor was dandling the
baby that is the old baby not the new one
»Its a fine boy Mr Kenwigs« said Mr Lumbey the doctor
»You consider him a fine boy do you sir« returned Mr Kenwigs
»Its the finest boy I ever saw in all my life« said the doctor »I never
saw such a baby«
It is a pleasant thing to reflect upon and furnishes a complete answer to
those who contend for the gradual degeneration of the human species that every
baby born into the world is a finer one than the last
»I never saw such a baby« said Mr Lumbey the doctor
»Morleena was a fine baby« remarked Mr Kenwigs as if this were rather an
attack by implication upon the family
»They were all fine babies« said Mr Lumbey And Mr Lumbey went on nursing
the baby with a thoughtful look Whether he was considering under what head he
could best charge the nursing in the bill was best known to himself
During this short conversation Miss Morleena as the eldest of the family
and natural representative of her mother during her indisposition had been
hustling and slapping the three younger Miss Kenwigses without intermission
which considerate and affectionate conduct brought tears into the eyes of Mr
Kenwigs and caused him to declare that in understanding and behaviour that
child was a woman
»She will be a treasure to the man she marries sir« said Mr Kenwigs half
aside »I think shell marry above her station Mr Lumbey«
»I shouldnt wonder at all« replied the doctor
»You never see her dance sir did you« asked Mr Kenwigs
The doctor shook his head
»Ay« said Mr Kenwigs as though he pitied him from his heart »then you
dont know what shes capable of«
All this time there had been a great whisking in and out of the other room
the door had been opened and shut very softly about twenty times a minute for
it was necessary to keep Mrs Kenwigs quiet and the baby had been exhibited to
a score or two of deputations from a select body of female friends who had
assembled in the passage and about the streetdoor to discuss the event in all
its bearings Indeed the excitement extended itself over the whole street and
groups of ladies might be seen standing at the doors some in the interesting
condition in which Mrs Kenwigs had last appeared in public relating their
experiences of similar occurrences Some few acquired great credit from having
prophesied the day before yesterday exactly when it would come to pass
others again related how that they guessed what it was directly they saw Mr
Kenwigs turn pale and run up the street as hard as ever he could go Some said
one thing and some another but all talked together and all agreed upon two
points firstly that it was very meritorious and highly praiseworthy in Mrs
Kenwigs to do as she had done and secondly that there never was such a
skilful and scientific doctor as that Doctor Lumbey
In the midst of this general hubbub Doctor Lumbey sat in the first floor
front as before related nursing the deposed baby and talking to Mr Kenwigs
He was a stout blufflooking gentleman with no shirtcollar to speak of and a
beard that had been growing since yesterday morning for Doctor Lumbey was
popular and the neighbourhood was prolific and there had been no less than
three other knockers muffled one after the other within the last fortyeight
hours
»Well Mr Kenwigs« said Dr Lumbey »this makes six Youll have a fine
family in time sir«
»I think six is almost enough sir« returned Mr Kenwigs
»Pooh pooh« said the doctor »Nonsense not half enough«
With this the doctor laughed but he didnt laugh half as much as a married
friend of Mrs Kenwigss who had just come in from the sick chamber to report
progress and take a small sip of brandyandwater and who seemed to consider
it one of the best jokes ever launched upon society
»Theyre not altogether dependent upon good fortune neither« said Mr
Kenwigs taking his second daughter on his knee »they have expectations«
»Oh indeed« said Mr Lumbey the doctor
»And very good ones too I believe havent they« asked the married lady
»Why maam« said Mr Kenwigs »its not exactly for me to say what they
may be or what they may not be Its not for me to boast of any family with
which I have the honor to be connected at the same time Mrs Kenwigss is I
should say« said Mr Kenwigs abruptly and raising his voice as he spoke »that
my children might come into a matter of a hundred pound apiece perhaps
Perhaps more but certainly that«
»And a very pretty little fortune« said the married lady
»There are some relations of Mrs Kenwigss« said Mr Kenwigs taking a
pinch of snuff from the doctors box and then sneezing very hard for he wasnt
used to it »that might leave their hundred pound apiece to ten people and yet
not go a begging when they had done it«
»Ah I know who you mean« observed the married lady nodding her head
»I made mention of no names and I wish to make mention of no names« said
Mr Kenwigs with a portentous look »Many of my friends have met a relation of
Mrs Kenwigss in this very room as would do honor to any company thats all«
»Ive met him« said the married lady with a glance towards Doctor Lumbey
»Its naterally very gratifying to my feelings as a father to see such a
man as that a kissing and taking notice of my children« pursued Mr Kenwigs
»Its naterally very gratifying to my feelings as a man to know that man It
will be naterally very gratifying to my feelings as a husband to make that man
acquainted with this ewent«
Having delivered his sentiments in this form of words Mr Kenwigs arranged
his second daughters flaxen tail and bade her be a good girl and mind what her
sister Morleena said
»That girl grows more like her mother every day« said Mr Lumbey suddenly
stricken with an enthusiastic admiration of Morleena
»There« rejoined the married lady »What I always say what I always did
say Shes the very picter of her« Having thus directed the general attention
to the young lady in question the married lady embraced the opportunity of
taking another sip of the brandyandwater and a pretty long sip too
»Yes there is a likeness« said Mr Kenwigs after some reflection »But
such a woman as Mrs Kenwigs was afore she was married Good gracious such a
woman«
Mr Lumbey shook his head with great solemnity as though to imply that he
supposed she must have been rather a dazzler
»Talk of fairies« cried Mr Kenwigs »I never see anybody so light to be
alive never Such manners too so playful and yet so sewerely proper As for
her figure It isnt generally known« said Mr Kenwigs dropping his voice
»but her figure was such at that time that the sign of the Britannia over in
the Holloway road was painted from it«
»But only see what it is now« urged the married lady »Does she look like
the mother of six«
»Quite ridiculous« cried the doctor
»She looks a deal more like her own daughter« said the married lady
»So she does« assented Mr Lumbey »A great deal more«
Mr Kenwigs was about to make some further observations most probably in
confirmation of this opinion when another married lady who had looked in to
keep up Mrs Kenwigss spirits and help to clear off anything in the eating and
drinking way that might be going about put in her head to announce that she had
just been down to answer the bell and that there was a gentleman at the door
who wanted to see Mr Kenwigs most particular
Shadowy visions of his distinguished relation flitted through the brain of
Mr Kenwigs as this message was delivered under their influence he despatched
Morleena to show the gentleman up straightway
»Why I do declare« said Mr Kenwigs standing opposite the door so as to
get the earliest glimpse of the visitor as he came up stairs »its Mr
Johnson How do you find yourself sir«
Nicholas shook hands kissed his old pupils all round entrusted a large
parcel of toys to the guardianship of Morleena bowed to the doctor and the
married ladies and inquired after Mrs Kenwigs in a tone of interest which went
to the very heart and soul of the nurse who had come in to warm some mysterious
compound in a little saucepan over the fire
»I ought to make a hundred apologies to you for calling at such a season«
said Nicholas »but I was not aware of it until I had rung the bell and my time
is so fully occupied now that I feared it might be some days before I could
possibly come again«
»No time like the present sir« said Mr Kenwigs »The sitiwation of Mrs
Kenwigs sir is no obstacle to a little conversation between you and me I
hope«
»You are very good« said Nicholas
At this juncture proclamation was made by another married lady that the
baby had begun to eat like anything whereupon the two married ladies already
mentioned rushed tumultuously into the bedroom to behold him in the act
»The fact is« resumed Nicholas »that before I left the country where I
have been for some time past I undertook to deliver a message to you«
»Ay ay« said Mr Kenwigs
»And I have been« added Nicholas »already in town for some days without
having had an opportunity of doing so«
»Its no matter sir« said Mr Kenwigs »I dare say its none the worse for
keeping cold Message from the country« said Mr Kenwigs ruminating »thats
curious I dont know anybody in the country«
»Miss Petowker« suggested Nicholas
»Oh from her is it« said Mr Kenwigs »Oh dear yes Ah Mrs Kenwigs
will be glad to hear from her Henrietta Petowker eh How odd things come
about now That you should have met her in the country Well«
Hearing this mention of their old friends name the four Miss Kenwigses
gathered round Nicholas open eyed and mouthed to hear more Mr Kenwigs looked
a little curious too but quite comfortable and unsuspecting
»The message relates to family matters« said Nicholas hesitating
»Oh never mind« said Kenwigs glancing at Mr Lumbey who having rashly
taken charge of little Lillyvick found nobody disposed to relieve him of his
precious burden »All friends here«
Nicholas hemmed once or twice and seemed to have some difficulty in
proceeding
»At Portsmouth Henrietta Petowker is« observed Mr Kenwigs
»Yes« said Nicholas »Mr Lillyvick is there«
Mr Kenwigs turned pale but recovered and said that was an odd
coincidence also
»The message is from him« said Nicholas
Mr Kenwigs appeared to revive He knew that his niece was in a delicate
state and had no doubt sent word that they were to forward full particulars
Yes That was very kind of him so like him too
»He desired me to give his kindest love« said Nicholas
»Very much obliged to him Im sure Your greatuncle Lillyvick my dears«
interposed Mr Kenwigs condescendingly explaining it to the children
»His kindest love« resumed Nicholas »and to say that he had no time to
write but that he was married to Miss Petowker«
Mr Kenwigs started from his seat with a petrified stare caught his second
daughter by her flaxen tail and covered his face with his pockethandkerchief
Morleena fell all stiff and rigid into the babys chair as she had seen her
mother fall when she fainted away and the two remaining little Kenwigses
shrieked in affright
»My children my defrauded swindled infants« cried Mr Kenwigs pulling so
hard in his vehemence at the flaxen tail of his second daughter that he
lifted her up on tiptoe and kept her for some seconds in that attitude
»Villain ass traitor«
»Drat the man« cried the nurse looking angrily round »What does he mean
by making that noise here«
»Silence woman« said Mr Kenwigs fiercely
»I wont be silent« returned the nurse »Be silent yourself you wretch
Have you no regard for your baby«
»No« returned Mr Kenwigs
»More shame for you« retorted the nurse »Ugh you unnatural monster«
»Let him die« cried Mr Kenwigs in the torrent of his wrath »Let him die
He has no expectations no property to come into We want no babies here« said
Mr Kenwigs recklessly »Take em away take em away to the Fondling«
With these awful remarks Mr Kenwigs sat himself down in a chair and
defied the nurse who made the best of her way into the adjoining room and
returned with a stream of matrons declaring that Mr Kenwigs had spoken
blasphemy against his family and must be raving mad
Appearances were certainly not in Mr Kenwigss favour for the exertion of
speaking with so much vehemence and yet in such a tone as should prevent his
lamentations reaching the ears of Mrs Kenwigs had made him very black in the
face besides which the excitement of the occasion and an unwonted indulgence
in various strong cordials to celebrate it had swollen and dilated his features
to a most unusual extent But Nicholas and the doctor who had been passive at
first doubting very much whether Mr Kenwigs could be in earnest interposing
to explain the immediate cause of his condition the indignation of the matrons
was changed to pity and they implored him with much feeling to go quietly to
bed
»The attentions« said Mr Kenwigs looking around with a plaintive air
»the attentions that Ive shown to that man The hyseters he has eat and the
pints of ale he has drank in this house «
»Its very trying and very hard to bear we know« said one of the married
ladies »but think of your dear darling wife«
»Oh yes and what shes been a undergoing of only this day« cried a great
many voices »Theres a good man do«
»The presents that have been made to him« said Mr Kenwigs reverting to
his calamity »the pipes the snuffboxes a pair of indiarubber goloshes that
cost six and six «
»Ah it wont bear thinking of indeed« cried the matrons generally »but
itll all come home to him never fear«
Mr Kenwigs looked darkly upon the ladies as if he would prefer its all
coming home to him as there was nothing to be got by it all but he said
nothing and resting his head upon his hand subsided into a kind of doze
Then the matrons again expatiated on the expediency of taking the good
gentleman to bed observing that he would be better tomorrow and that they
knew what was the wear and tear of some mens minds when their wives were taken
as Mrs Kenwigs had been that day and that it did him great credit and there
was nothing to be ashamed of in it far from it they liked to see it they did
for it showed a good heart And one lady observed as a case bearing upon the
present that her husband was often quite lightheaded from anxiety on similar
occasions and that once when her little Johnny was born it was nearly a week
before he came to himself again during the whole of which time he did nothing
but cry »Is it a boy is it a boy« in a manner which went to the hearts of all
his hearers
At length Morleena who quite forgot she had fainted when she found she was
not noticed announced that a chamber was ready for her afflicted parent and
Mr Kenwigs having partially smothered his four daughters in the closeness of
his embrace accepted the doctors arm on one side and the support of Nicholas
on the other and was conducted up stairs to a bedroom which had been secured
for the occasion
Having seen him sound asleep and heard him snore most satisfactorily and
having further presided over the distribution of the toys to the perfect
contentment of all the little Kenwigses Nicholas took his leave The matrons
dropped off one by one with the exception of six or eight particular friends
who had determined to stop all night the lights in the houses gradually
disappeared the last bulletin was issued that Mrs Kenwigs was as well as could
be expected and the whole family were left to their repose
Chapter XXXVII
Nicholas Finds Further Favour in the Eyes of the Brothers Cheeryble and Mr
Timothy Linkinwater The Brothers Give a Banquet on a Great Annual Occasion
Nicholas on Returning Home from It Receives a Mysterious and Important
Disclosure from the Lips of Mrs Nickleby
The Square in which the countinghouse of the brothers Cheeryble was situated
although it might not wholly realize the very sanguine expectations which a
stranger would be disposed to form on hearing the fervent encomiums bestowed
upon it by Tim Linkinwater was nevertheless a sufficiently desirable nook in
the heart of a busy town like London and one which occupied a high place in the
affectionate remembrances of several grave persons domiciled in the
neighbourhood whose recollections however dated from a much more recent
period and whose attachment to the spot was far less absorbing than were the
recollections and attachment of the enthusiastic Tim
And let not those Londoners whose eyes have been accustomed to the
aristocratic gravity of Grosvenor Square and Hanover Square the dowager
barrenness and frigidity of Fitzroy Square or the gravel walks and garden seats
of the Squares of Russell and Euston suppose that the affections of Tim
Linkinwater or the inferior lovers of this particular locality had been
awakened and kept alive by any refreshing associations with leaves however
dingy or grass however bare and thin The City Square has no enclosure save
the lamppost in the middle and has no grass but the weeds which spring up round
its base It is a quiet littlefrequented retired spot favourable to
melancholy and contemplation and appointments of longwaiting and up and down
its every side the Appointed saunters idly by the hour together wakening the
echoes with the monotonous sound of his footsteps on the smooth worn stones and
counting first the windows and then the very bricks of the tall silent houses
that hem him round about In wintertime the snow will linger there long after
it has melted from the busy streets and highways The summers sun holds it in
some respect and while he darts his cheerful rays sparingly into the square
keeps his fiery heat and glare for noisier and lessimposing precincts It is so
quiet that you can almost hear the ticking of your own watch when you stop to
cool in its refreshing atmosphere There is a distant hum of coaches not of
insects but no other sound disturbs the stillness of the square The ticket
porter leans idly against the post at the corner comfortably warm but not hot
although the day is broiling His white apron flaps languidly in the air his
head gradually droops upon his breast he takes very long winks with both eyes
at once even he is unable to withstand the soporific influence of the place
and is gradually falling asleep But now he starts into full wakefulness
recoils a step or two and gazes out before him with eager wildness in his eye
Is it a job or a boy at marbles Does he see a ghost or hear an organ No
sight more unwonted still there is a butterfly in the square a real live
butterfly astray from flowers and sweets and fluttering among the iron heads
of the dusty area railings
But if there were not many matters immediately without the doors of
Cheeryble Brothers to engage the attention or distract the thoughts of the
young clerk there were not a few within to interest and amuse him There was
scarcely an object in the place animate or inanimate which did not partake in
some degree of the scrupulous method and punctuality of Mr Timothy Linkinwater
Punctual as the countinghouse dial which he maintained to be the best
timekeeper in London next after the clock of some old hidden unknown church
hard by for Tim held the fabled goodness of that at the Horse Guards to be a
pleasant fiction invented by jealous Westenders the old clerk performed the
minutest actions of the day and arranged the minutest articles in the little
room in a precise and regular order which could not have been exceeded if it
had actually been a real glass case fitted with the choicest curiosities
Paper pens ink ruler sealingwax wafers pouncebox stringbox firebox
Tims hat Tims scrupulouslyfolded gloves Tims other coat looking
precisely like a back view of himself as it hung against the wall all had
their accustomed inches of space. Except the clock there was not such an
accurate and unimpeachable instrument in existence as the little thermometer
which hung behind the door There was not a bird of such methodical and
businesslike habits in all the world as the blind blackbird who dreamed and
dozed away his days in a large snug cage and had lost his voice from old age
years before Tim first bought him There was not such an eventful story in the
whole range of anecdote as Tim could tell concerning the acquisition of that
very bird how compassionating his starved and suffering condition he had
purchased him with the view of humanely terminating his wretched life how he
determined to wait three days and see whether the bird revived how before half
the time was out the bird did revive and how he went on reviving and picking up
his appetite and good looks until he gradually became what »what you see him
now sir« Tim would say glancing proudly at the cage And with that Tim
would utter a melodious chirrup and cry »Dick« and Dick who for any sign of
life he had previously given might have been a wooden or stuffed representation
of a blackbird indifferently executed would come to the side of the cage in
three small jumps and thrusting his bill between the bars would turn his
sightless head towards his old master and at that moment it would be very
difficult to determine which of the two was the happier the bird or Tim
Linkinwater
Nor was this all Everything gave back besides some reflection of the
kindly spirit of the brothers The warehousemen and porters were such sturdy
jolly fellows that it was a treat to see them Among the shippingannouncements
and steampacket lists which decorated the countinghouse walls were designs
for almshouses statements of charities and plans for new hospitals A
blunderbuss and two swords hung above the chimneypiece for the terror of
evildoers but the blunderbuss was rusty and shattered and the swords were
broken and edgeless Elsewhere their open display in such a condition would
have raised a smile but there it seemed as though even violent and offensive
weapons partook of the reigning influence and became emblems of mercy and
forbearance
Such thoughts as these occurred to Nicholas very strongly on the morning
when he first took possession of the vacant stool and looked about him more
freely and at ease than he had before enjoyed an opportunity of doing Perhaps
they encouraged and stimulated him to exertion for during the next two weeks
all his spare hours late at night and early in the morning were incessantly
devoted to acquiring the mysteries of bookkeeping and some other forms of
mercantile account To these he applied himself with such steadiness and
perseverance that although he brought no greater amount of previous knowledge
to the subject than certain dim recollections of two or three very long sums
entered into a cypheringbook at school and relieved for parental inspection by
the effigy of a fat swan tastefully flourished by the writingmasters own hand
he found himself at the end of a fortnight in a condition to report his
proficiency to Mr Linkinwater and to claim his promise that he Nicholas
Nickleby should now be allowed to assist him in his graver labours
It was a sight to behold Tim Linkinwater slowly bring out a massive ledger
and day book and after turning them over and over and affectionately dusting
their backs and sides open the leaves here and there and cast his eyes
halfmournfully halfproudly upon the fair and unblotted entries
»Fourandforty year next May« said Tim »Many new ledgers since then
Fourandforty year«
Tim closed the book again
»Come come« said Nicholas »I am all impatience to begin«
Tim Linkinwater shook his head with an air of mild reproof Mr Nickleby was
not sufficiently impressed with the deep and awful nature of his undertaking
Suppose there should be any mistake any scratching out
Young men are adventurous It is extraordinary what they will rush upon
sometimes Without even taking the precaution of sitting himself down upon his
stool but standing leisurely at the desk and with a smile upon his face
actually a smile there was no mistake about it Mr Linkinwater often
mentioned it afterwards Nicholas dipped his pen into the inkstand before him
and plunged into the books of Cheeryble Brothers
Tim Linkinwater turned pale and tilting up his stool on the two legs
nearest Nicholas looked over his shoulder in breathless anxiety Brother
Charles and brother Ned entered the countinghouse together but Tim
Linkinwater without looking round impatiently waved his hand as a caution that
profound silence must be observed and followed the nib of the inexperienced pen
with strained and eager eyes
The brothers looked on with smiling faces but Tim Linkinwater smiled not
nor moved for some minutes At length he drew a long slow breath and still
maintaining his position on the tilted stool glanced at brother Charles
secretly pointed with the feather of his pen towards Nicholas and nodded his
head in a grave and resolute manner plainly signifying Hell do
Brother Charles nodded again and exchanged a laughing look with brother
Ned but just then Nicholas stopped to refer to some other page and Tim
Linkinwater unable to contain his satisfaction any longer descended from his
stool and caught him rapturously by the hand
»He has done it« said Tim looking round at his employers and shaking his
head triumphantly »His capital Bs and Ds are exactly like mine he dots all
his small is and crosses every t as he writes it There ant such a young man
as this in all London« said Tim clapping Nicholas on the back »not one Dont
tell me The City cant produce his equal I challenge the City to do it«
With this casting down of his gauntlet Tim Linkinwater struck the desk such
a blow with his clenched fist that the old blackbird tumbled off his perch with
the start it gave him and actually uttered a feeble croak in the extremity of
his astonishment
»Well said Tim well said Tim Linkinwater« cried brother Charles
scarcely less pleased than Tim himself and clapping his hands gently as he
spoke »I knew our young friend would take great pains and I was quite certain
he would succeed in no time Didnt I say so brother Ned«
»You did my dear brother certainly my dear brother you said so and you
were quite right« replied Ned »Quite right Tim Linkinwater is excited but he
is justly excited properly excited Tim is a fine fellow Tim Linkinwater sir
youre a fine fellow«
»Heres a pleasant thing to think of« said Tim wholly regardless of this
address to himself and raising his spectacles from the ledger to the brothers
»Heres a pleasant thing Do you suppose I havent often thought what would
become of these books when I was gone Do you suppose I havent often thought
that things might go on irregular and untidy here after I was taken away But
now« said Tim extending his forefinger towards Nicholas »now when Ive
shown him a little more Im satisfied The business will go on when Im dead
as well as it did when I was alive just the same and I shall have the
satisfaction of knowing that there never were such books never were such
books No nor never will be such books as the books of Cheeryble Brothers«
Having thus expressed his sentiments Mr Linkinwater gave vent to a short
laugh indicative of defiance to the cities of London and Westminster and
turning again to his desk quietly carried seventysix from the last column he
had added up and went on with his work
»Tim Linkinwater sir« said brother Charles »give me your hand sir This
is your birthday How dare you talk about anything else till you have been
wished many happy returns of the day Tim Linkinwater God bless you Tim God
bless you«
»My dear brother« said the other seizing Tims disengaged fist »Tim
Linkinwater looks ten years younger than he did on his last birthday«
»Brother Ned my dear boy« returned the other old fellow »I believe that
Tim Linkinwater was born a hundredandfifty years old and is gradually coming
down to fiveandtwenty for hes younger every birthday than he was the year
before«
»So he is brother Charles so he is« replied brother Ned »Theres not a
doubt about it«
»Remember Tim« said brother Charles »that we dine at halfpast five
today instead of two oclock we always depart from our usual custom on this
anniversary as you very well know Tim Linkinwater Mr Nickleby my dear sir
you will make one Tim Linkinwater give me your snuffbox as a remembrance to
brother Charles and myself of an attached and faithful rascal and take that in
exchange as a feeble mark of our respect and esteem and dont open it until
you go to bed and never say another word upon the subject or Ill kill the
blackbird A dog He should have had a golden cage halfadozen years ago if it
would have made him or his master a bit the happier Now brother Ned my dear
fellow Im ready At halfpast five remember Mr Nickleby Tim Linkinwater
sir take care of Mr Nickleby at halfpast five Now brother Ned«
Chattering away thus according to custom to prevent the possibility of any
thanks or acknowledgment being expressed on the other side the twins trotted
off arm in arm having endowed Tim Linkinwater with a costly gold snuffbox
inclosing a banknote worth more than its value ten times told
At a quarter past five oclock punctual to the minute arrived according
to annual usage Tim Linkinwaters sister and a great todo there was between
Tim Linkinwaters sister and the old housekeeper respecting Tim Linkinwaters
sisters cap which had been despatched per boy from the house of the family
where Tim Linkinwaters sister boarded and had not yet come to hand
notwithstanding that it had been packed up in a bandbox and the bandbox in a
handkerchief and the handkerchief tied on to the boys arm and
notwithstanding too that the place of its consignment had been duly set forth
at full length on the back of an old letter and the boy enjoined under pain
of divers horrible penalties the full extent of which the eye of man could not
foresee to deliver the same with all possible speed and not to loiter by the
way Tim Linkinwaters sister lamented the housekeeper condoled and both kept
thrusting their heads out of the secondfloor window to see if the boy was
coming which would have been highly satisfactory and upon the whole
tantamount to his being come as the distance to the corner was not quite five
yards when all of a sudden and when he was least expected the messenger
carrying the bandbox with elaborate caution appeared in an exactly opposite
direction puffing and panting for breath and flushed with recent exercise as
well he might be for he had taken the air in the first instance, behind a
hackneycoach that went to Camberwell and had followed two Punches afterwards
and had seen the Stilts home to their own door The cap was all safe however
that was one comfort and it was no use scolding him that was another so the
boy went upon his way rejoicing and Tim Linkinwaters sister presented herself
to the company below stairs just five minutes after the halfhour had struck by
Tim Linkinwaters own infallible clock
The company consisted of the brothers Cheeryble Tim Linkinwater a
ruddyfaced whiteheaded friend of Tims who was a superannuated bank clerk
and Nicholas who was presented to Tim Linkinwaters sister with much gravity
and solemnity The party being now completed brother Ned rang for dinner and
dinner being shortly afterwards announced led Tim Linkinwaters sister into the
next room where it was set forth with great preparation Then brother Ned took
the head of the table and brother Charles the foot and Tim Linkinwaters
sister sat on the lefthand of brother Ned and Tim Linkinwater himself on his
right and an ancient butler of apoplectic appearance and with very short legs
took up his position at the back of brother Neds armchair and waving his
right arm preparatory to taking off the covers with a flourish stood bolt
upright and motionless
»For these and all other blessings brother Charles« said Ned
»Lord make us truly thankful brother Ned« said Charles
Whereupon the apoplectic butler whisked off the top of the souptureen and
shot all at once into a state of violent activity
There was abundance of conversation and little fear of its ever flagging
for the goodhumour of the glorious old twins drew everybody out and Tim
Linkinwaters sister went off into a long and circumstantial account of Tim
Linkinwaters infancy immediately after the very first glass of champagne
taking care to premise that she was very much Tims junior and had only become
acquainted with the facts from their being preserved and handed down in the
family This history concluded brother Ned related how that exactly
thirtyfive years ago Tim Linkinwater was suspected to have received a
loveletter and how that vague information had been brought to the
countinghouse of his having been seen walking down Cheapside with an uncommonly
handsome spinster at which there was a roar of laughter and Tim Linkinwater
being charged with blushing and called upon to explain denied that the
accusation was true and further that there would have been any harm in it if
it had been which last position occasioned the superannuated bank clerk to
laugh tremendously and to declare that it was the very best thing he had ever
heard in his life and that Tim Linkinwater might say a great many things before
he said anything which would beat that
There was one little ceremony peculiar to the day both the matter and
manner of which made a very strong impression upon Nicholas The cloth having
been removed and the decanters sent round for the first time a profound silence
succeeded and in the cheerful faces of the brothers there appeared an
expression not of absolute melancholy but of quiet thoughtfulness very unusual
at a festive table As Nicholas struck by this sudden alteration was wondering
what it could portend the brothers rose together and the one at the top of the
table leaning forward towards the other and speaking in a low voice as if he
were addressing him individually said
»Brother Charles my dear fellow there is another association connected
with this day which must never be forgotten and never can be forgotten by you
and me This day which brought into the world a most faithful and excellent and
exemplary fellow took from it the kindest and very best of parents the very
best of parents to us both I wish that she could have seen us in our
prosperity and shared it and had the happiness of knowing how dearly we loved
her in it as we did when we were two poor boys but that was not to be My dear
brother The Memory of our Mother«
»Good Lord« thought Nicholas »and there are scores of people of their own
station knowing all this and twenty thousand times more who wouldnt ask
these men to dinner because they eat with their knives and never went to
school«
But there was no time to moralize for the joviality again became very
brisk and the decanter of port being nearly out brother Ned pulled the bell
which was instantly answered by the apoplectic butler
»David« said brother Ned
»Sir« replied the butler
»A magnum of the doublediamond David to drink the health of Mr
Linkinwater«
Instantly by a feat of dexterity which was the admiration of all the
company and had been annually for some years past the apoplectic butler
bringing his left hand from behind the small of his back produced the bottle
with the corkscrew already inserted uncorked it at a jerk and placed the
magnum and the cork before his master with the dignity of conscious cleverness
»Ha« said brother Ned first examining the cork and afterwards filling his
glass while the old butler looked complacently and amiably on as if it were
all his own property but the company were quite welcome to make free with it
»this looks well David«
»It ought to sir« replied David »Youd be troubled to find such a glass
of wine as is our doublediamond and that Mr Linkinwater knows very well That
was laid down when Mr Linkinwater first come that wine was gentlemen«
»Nay David nay« interposed brother Charles
»I wrote the entry in the cellarbook myself sir if you please« said
David in the tone of a man quite confident in the strength of his facts »Mr
Linkinwater had only been here twenty year sir when that pipe of
doublediamond was laid down«
»David is quite right quite right brother Charles« said Ned »are the
people here David«
»Outside the door sir« replied the butler
»Show em in David show em in«
At this bidding the old butler placed before his master a small tray of
clean glasses and opening the door admitted the jolly porters and warehousemen
whom Nicholas had seen below They were four in all As they came in bowing and
grinning and blushing the housekeeper and cook and housemaid brought up the
rear
»Seven« said brother Ned filling a corresponding number of glasses with
the doublediamond »and David eight There Now youre all of you to drink
the health of your best friend Mr Timothy Linkinwater and wish him health and
long life and many happy returns of this day both for his own sake and that of
your old masters who consider him an inestimable treasure Tim Linkinwater
sir your health Devil take you Tim Linkinwater sir God bless you«
With this singular contradiction of terms brother Ned gave Tim Linkinwater
a slap on the back which made him look for the moment almost as apoplectic as
the butler and tossed off the contents of his glass in a twinkling
The toast was scarcely drunk with all honor to Tim Linkinwater when the
sturdiest and jolliest subordinate elbowed himself a little in advance of his
fellows and exhibiting a very hot and flushed countenance pulled a single lock
of grey hair in the middle of his forehead as a respectful salute to the
company and delivered himself as follows rubbing the palms of his hands very
hard on a blue cotton handkerchief as he did so
»Were allowed to take a liberty once a year genlemen and if you please
well take it now there being no time like the present and no two birds in the
hand worth one in the bush as is well known leastways in a contrairy sense
which the meaning is the same A pause the butler unconvinced What we mean
to say is that there never was looking at the butler such looking at the
cook noble excellent looking everywhere and seeing nobody free generous
spirited masters as them as has treated us so handsome this day And heres
thanking of em for all their goodness as is so constancy a diffusing of itself
over everywhere and wishing they may live long and die happy«
When the foregoing speech was over and it might have been much more
elegant and much less to the purpose the whole body of subordinates under
command of the apoplectic butler gave three soft cheers which to that
gentlemans great indignation were not very regular inasmuch as the women
persisted in giving an immense number of little shrill hurrahs among themselves
in utter disregard of the time This done they withdrew shortly afterwards
Tim Linkinwaters sister withdrew in reasonable time after that the sitting
was broken up for tea and coffee and a round game of cards
At halfpast ten late hours for the square there appeared a little tray
of sandwiches and a bowl of bishop which bishop coming on the top of the
doublediamond and other excitements had such an effect upon Tim Linkinwater
that he drew Nicholas aside and gave him to understand confidentially that it
was quite true about the uncommonly handsome spinster and that she was to the
full as goodlooking as she had been described more so indeed but that she
was in too much of a hurry to change her condition and consequently, while Tim
was courting her and thinking of changing his got married to somebody else
»After all I dare say it was my fault« said Tim »Ill show you a print I have
got up stairs one of these days It cost me fiveandtwenty shillings I bought
it soon after we were cool to each other Dont mention it but its the most
extraordinary accidental likeness you ever saw her very portrait sir«
By this time it was past eleven oclock and Tim Linkinwaters sister
declaring that she ought to have been at home a full hour ago a coach was
procured into which she was handed with great ceremony by brother Ned while
brother Charles imparted the fullest directions to the coachman and besides
paying the man a shilling over and above his fare in order that he might take
the utmost care of the lady all but choked him with a glass of spirits of
uncommon strength and then nearly knocked all the breath out of his body in his
energetic endeavours to knock it in again
At length the coach rumbled off and Tim Linkinwaters sister being now
fairly on her way home Nicholas and Tim Linkinwaters friend took their leaves
together and left old Tim and the worthy brothers to their repose
As Nicholas had some distance to walk it was considerably past midnight by
the time he reached home where he found his mother and Smike sitting up to
receive him It was long after their usual hour of retiring and they had
expected him at the very latest two hours ago but the time had not hung
heavily on their hands for Mrs Nickleby had entertained Smike with a
genealogical account of her family by the mothers side comprising biographical
sketches of the principal members and Smike had sat wondering what it was all
about and whether it was learnt from a book or said out of Mrs Nicklebys own
head so that they got on together very pleasantly
Nicholas could not go to bed without expatiating on the excellences and
munificence of the brothers Cheeryble and relating the great success which had
attended his efforts that day But before he had said a dozen words Mrs
Nickleby with many sly winks and nods observed that she was sure Mr Smike
must be quite tired out and that she positively must insist on his not sitting
up a minute longer
»A most biddable creature he is to be sure« said Mrs Nickleby when Smike
had wished them good night and left the room »I know youll excuse me
Nicholas my dear but I dont like to do this before a third person indeed
before a young man it would not be quite proper though really after all I
dont know what harm there is in it except that to be sure its not a very
becoming thing though some people say it is very much so and really I dont
know why it should not be if its well got up and the borders are small
plaited of course a good deal depends upon that«
With which preface Mrs Nickleby took her nightcap from between the leaves
of a very large prayer where it had been folded up small and proceeded to tie
it on talking away in her usual discursive manner all the time
»People may say what they like« observed Mrs Nickleby »but theres a
great deal of comfort in a nightcap as Im sure you would confess Nicholas
my dear if you would only have strings to yours and wear it like a Christian
instead of sticking it upon the very top of your head like a bluecoat boy You
neednt think it an unmanly or quizzical thing to be particular about your
nightcap for I have often heard your poor dear papa and the Reverend Mr
whats his name who used to read prayers in that old church with the curious
little steeple that the weathercock was blown off the night week before you were
born I have often heard them say that the young men at college are
uncommonly particular about their nightcaps and that the Oxford nightcaps are
quite celebrated for their strength and goodness so much so indeed that the
young men never dream of going to bed without em and I believe its admitted
on all hands that they know whats good and dont coddle themselves«
Nicholas laughed and entering no further into the subject of this
lengthened harangue reverted to the pleasant tone of the little birthday party
And as Mrs Nickleby instantly became very curious respecting it and made a
great number of inquiries touching what they had had for dinner and how it was
put on table and whether it was overdone or underdone and who was there and
what the Mr Cherrybles said and what Nicholas said and what the Mr
Cherrybles said when he said that Nicholas described the festivities at full
length and also the occurrences of the morning
»Late as it is« said Nicholas »I am almost selfish enough to wish that
Kate had been up to hear all this I was all impatience as I came along to
tell her«
»Why Kate« said Mrs Nickleby putting her feet upon the fender and
drawing her chair close to it as if settling herself for a long talk »Kate has
been in bed oh a couple of hours and Im very glad Nicholas my dear that
I prevailed upon her not to sit up for I wished very much to have an
opportunity of saying a few words to you I am naturally anxious about it and
of course its a very delightful and consoling thing to have a grownup son that
one can put confidence in and advise with indeed I dont know any use there
would be in having sons at all unless people could put confidence in them«
Nicholas stopped in the middle of a sleepy yawn as his mother began to
speak and looked at her with fixed attention
»There was a lady in our neighbourhood« said Mrs Nickleby »speaking of
sons puts me in mind of it a lady in our neighbourhood when we lived near
Dawlish I think her name was Rogers indeed I am sure it was if it wasnt
Murphy which is the only doubt I have «
»Is it about her mother that you wish to speak to me« said Nicholas
quietly
»About her« cried Mrs Nickleby »Good gracious Nicholas my dear how can
you be so ridiculous But that was always the way with your poor dear papa
just his way always wandering never able to fix his thoughts on any one
subject for two minutes together I think I see him now« said Mrs Nickleby
wiping her eyes »looking at me while I was talking to him about his affairs
just as if his ideas were in a state of perfect conglomeration Anybody who had
come in upon us suddenly would have supposed I was confusing and distracting
him instead of making things plainer upon my word they would«
»I am very sorry mother that I should inherit this unfortunate slowness of
apprehension« said Nicholas kindly »but Ill do my best to understand you if
youll only go straight on«
»Your poor papa« said Mrs Nickleby pondering »He never knew till it was
too late what I would have had him do«
This was undoubtedly the case inasmuch as the deceased Mr Nickleby had not
arrived at the knowledge when he died Neither had Mrs Nickleby herself which
is in some sort an explanation of the circumstance
»However« said Mrs Nickleby drying her tears »this has nothing to do
certainly nothing whatever to do with the gentleman in the next house«
»I should suppose that the gentleman in the next house has as little to do
with us« returned Nicholas
»There can be no doubt« said Mrs Nickleby »that he is a gentleman and
has the manners of a gentleman and the appearance of a gentleman although he
does wear smalls and grey worsted stockings That may be eccentricity or he may
be proud of his legs I dont see why he shouldnt be The Prince Regent was
proud of his legs and so was Daniel Lambert who was also a fat man he was
proud of his legs So was Miss Biffin she was no« added Mrs Nickleby
correcting herself »I think she had only toes but the principle is the same«
Nicholas looked on quite amazed at the introduction of this new theme
Which seemed just what Mrs Nickleby had expected him to be
»You may well be surprised Nicholas my dear« she said »I am sure I was
It came upon me like a flash of fire and almost froze my blood The bottom of
his garden joins the bottom of ours and of course I had several times seen him
sitting among the scarletbeans in his little arbour or working at his little
hotbeds I used to think he stared rather but I didnt take any particular
notice of that as we were newcomers and he might be curious to see what we
were like But when he began to throw his cucumbers over our wall «
»To throw his cucumbers over our wall« repeated Nicholas in great
astonishment
»Yes Nicholas my dear« replied Mrs Nickleby in a very serious tone »his
cucumbers over our wall And vegetablemarrows likewise«
»Confound his impudence« said Nicholas firing immediately »What does he
mean by that«
»I dont think he means it impertinently at all« replied Mrs Nickleby
»What« said Nicholas »Cucumbers and vegetablemarrows flying at the heads
of the family as they walk in their own garden and not meant impertinently
Why mother «
Nicholas stopped short for there was an indescribable expression of placid
triumph mingled with a modest confusion lingering between the borders of Mrs
Nicklebys nightcap which arrested his attention suddenly
»He must be a very weak and foolish and inconsiderate man« said Mrs
Nickleby »blameable indeed at least I suppose other people would consider
him so of course I cant be expected to express any opinion on that point
especially after always defending your poor dear papa when other people blamed
him for making proposals to me and to be sure there can be no doubt that he has
taken a very singular way of showing it Still at the same time his attentions
are that is as far as it goes and to a certain extent of course a
flattering sort of thing And although I should never dream of marrying again
with a dear girl like Kate still unsettled in life «
»Surely mother such an idea never entered your brain for an instant« said
Nicholas
»Bless my heart Nicholas my dear« returned his mother in a peevish tone
»isnt that precisely what I am saying if you would only let me speak Of
course I never gave it a second thought and I am surprised and astonished that
you should suppose me capable of such a thing All I say is what step is the
best to take so as to reject these advances civilly and delicately and without
hurting his feelings too much and driving him to despair or anything of that
kind My goodness me« exclaimed Mrs Nickleby with a half simper »suppose he
was to go doing anything rash to himself Could I ever be happy again
Nicholas«
Despite his vexation and concern Nicholas could scarcely help smiling as
he rejoined »Now do you think mother that such a result would be likely to
ensue from the most cruel repulse«
»Upon my word my dear I dont know« returned Mrs Nickleby »really I
dont know I am sure there was a case in the day before yesterdays paper
extracted from one of the French newspapers about a journeyman shoemaker who
was jealous of a young girl in an adjoining village because she wouldnt shut
herself up in an airtight threepairofstairs and charcoal herself to death
with him and who went and hid himself in a Wood with a sharppointed knife and
rushed out as she was passing by with a few friends and killed himself first
and then all the friends and then her no killed all the friends first and
then herself and then himself which it is quite frightful to think of
Somehow or other« added Mrs Nickleby after a momentary pause »they always
are journeyman shoemakers who do these things in France according to the
papers I dont know how it is something in the leather I suppose«
»But this man who is not a shoemaker what has he done mother what has
he said« inquired Nicholas fretted almost beyond endurance but looking nearly
as resigned and patient as Mrs Nickleby herself »You know there is no
language of vegetables which converts a cucumber into a formal declaration of
attachment«
»My dear« replied Mrs Nickleby tossing her head and looking at the ashes
in the grate »he has done and said all sorts of things«
»Is there no mistake on your part« asked Nicholas
»Mistake« cried Mrs Nickleby »Lord Nicholas my dear do you suppose I
dont know when a mans in earnest«
»Well well« muttered Nicholas
»Every time I go to the window« said Mrs Nickleby »he kisses one hand
and lays the other upon his heart of course its very foolish of him to do so
and I dare say youll say its very wrong but he does it very respectfully
very respectfully indeed and very tenderly extremely tenderly So far he
deserves the greatest credit there can be no doubt about that Then there are
the presents which come pouring over the wall every day and very fine they
certainly are very fine we had one of the cucumbers at dinner yesterday and
think of pickling the rest for next winter And last evening« added Mrs
Nickleby with increased confusion »he called gently over the wall as I was
walking in the garden and proposed marriage and an elopement His voice is as
clear as a bell or a musical glass very like a musical glass indeed but of
course I didnt listen to it Then the question is Nicholas my dear what am I
to do«
»Does Kate know of this« asked Nicholas
»I have not said a word about it yet« answered his mother
»Then for Heavens sake« rejoined Nicholas rising »do not for it would
make her very unhappy And with regard to what you should do my dear mother do
what your good sense and feeling and respect for my fathers memory would
prompt There are a thousand ways in which you can show your dislike of these
preposterous and doting attentions If you act as decidedly as you ought and
they are still continued and to your annoyance I can speedily put a stop to
them But I should not interfere in a matter so ridiculous and attach
importance to it until you have vindicated yourself Most women can do that
but especially one of your age and condition in circumstances like these which
are unworthy of a serious thought I would not shame you by seeming to take them
to heart or treat them earnestly for an instant Absurd old idiot«
So saying Nicholas kissed his mother and bade her good night and they
retired to their respective chambers
To do Mrs Nickleby justice her attachment to her children would have
prevented her seriously contemplating a second marriage even if she could have
so far conquered her recollections other late husband as to have any strong
inclinations that way But although there was no evil and little real
selfishness in Mrs Nicklebys heart she had a weak head and a vain one and
there was something so flattering in being sought and vainly sought in
marriage at this time of day that she could not dismiss the passion of the
unknown gentleman quite so summarily or lightly as Nicholas appeared to deem
becoming
»As to its being preposterous and doting and ridiculous« thought Mrs
Nickleby communing with herself in her own room »I dont see that at all
Its hopeless on his part certainly but why he should be an absurd old idiot
I confess I dont see He is not to be supposed to know its hopeless Poor
fellow He is to be pitied I think«
Having made these reflections Mrs Nickleby looked in her little
dressingglass and walking backward a few steps from it tried to remember who
it was who used to say that when Nicholas was oneandtwenty he would have more
the appearance of her brother than her son Not being able to call the
authority to mind she extinguished her candle and drew up the windowblind to
admit the light of morning which had by this time begun to dawn
»Its a bad light to distinguish objects in« murmured Mrs Nickleby
peering into the garden »and my eyes are not very good I was shortsighted
from a child but upon my word I think theres another large vegetable marrow
sticking at this moment on the broken glass bottles at the top of the wall«
Chapter XXXVIII
Comprises Certain Particulars Arising Out of a Visit of Condolence Which May
Prove Important Hereafter Smike Unexpectedly Encounters a Very Old Friend Who
Invites Him to His House and Will Take No Denial
Quite unconscious of the demonstrations of their amorous neighbour or of their
effects upon the susceptible bosom of her mama Kate Nickleby had by this time
begun to enjoy a settled feeling of tranquillity and happiness to which even
in occasional and transitory glimpses she had long been a stranger Living
under the same roof with the beloved brother from whom she had been so suddenly
and hardly separated with a mind at ease and free from any persecutions which
could call a blush into her cheek or a pang into her heart she seemed to have
passed into a new state of being Her former cheerfulness was restored her step
regained its elasticity and lightness the colour which had forsaken her cheek
visited it once again and Kate Nickleby looked more beautiful than ever
Such was the result to which Miss La Creevys ruminations and observations
led her when the cottage had been as she emphatically said »thoroughly got to
rights from the chimneypots to the streetdoor scraper« and the busy little
woman had at length a moments time to think about its inmates
»Which I declare I havent had since I first came down here« said Miss La
Creevy »for I have thought of nothing but hammers nails screwdrivers and
gimlets morning noon and night«
»You never bestow one thought upon yourself I believe« returned Kate
smiling
»Upon my word my dear when there are so many pleasanter things to think
of I should be a goose if I did« said Miss La Creevy »By the bye I have
thought of somebody too Do you know that I observe a great change in one of
this family a very extraordinary change«
»In whom« asked Kate anxiously »Not in «
»Not in your brother my dear« returned Miss La Creevy anticipating the
close of the sentence »for he is always the same affectionate goodnatured
clever creature with a spice of the I wont say who in him when theres any
occasion that he was when I first knew you No Smike as he will be called
poor fellow for he wont hear of a Mr before his name is greatly altered
even in this short time«
»How« asked Kate »Not in health«
»Nno perhaps not in health exactly« said Miss La Creevy pausing to
consider »although he is a worn and feeble creature and has that in his face
which it would wring my heart to see in yours No not in health«
»How then«
»I scarcely know« said the miniaturepainter »But I have watched him and
he has brought the tears into my eyes many times It is not a very difficult
matter to do that certainly for I am easily melted still I think these came
with good cause and reason I am sure that since he has been here he has grown
from some strong cause more conscious of his weak intellect He feels it more
It gives him greater pain to know that he wanders sometimes and cannot
understand very simple things I have watched him when you have not been by my
dear sit brooding by himself with such a look of pain as I could scarcely bear
to see and then get up and leave the room so sorrowfully and in such
dejection that I cannot tell you how it has hurt me Not three weeks ago he
was a lighthearted busy creature overjoyed to be in a bustle and as happy as
the day was long Now he is another being the same willing harmless
faithful loving creature but the same in nothing else«
»Surely this will all pass off« said Kate »Poor fellow«
»I hope« returned her little friend with a gravity very unusual in her
»it may I hope for the sake of that poor lad it may However« said Miss La
Creevy relapsing into the cheerful chattering tone which was habitual to her
»I have said my say and a very long say it is and a very wrong say too I
shouldnt wonder at all I shall cheer him up tonight at all events for if he
is to be my squire all the way to the Strand I shall talk on and on and on
and never leave off till I have roused him into a laugh at something So the
sooner he goes the better for him and the sooner I go the better for me I am
sure or else I shall have my maid gallivanting with somebody who may rob the
house though what there is to take away besides tables and chairs I dont
know except the miniatures and he is a clever thief who can dispose of them to
any great advantage for I cant I know and thats the honest truth«
So saying little Miss La Creevy hid her face in a very flat bonnet and
herself in a very big shawl and fixing herself tightly into the latter by
means of a large pin declared that the omnibus might come as soon as it
pleased for she was quite ready
But there was still Mrs Nickleby to take leave of and long before that
good lady had concluded some reminiscences bearing upon and appropriate to
the occasion the omnibus arrived This put Miss La Creevy in a great bustle in
consequence whereof as she secretly rewarded the servantgirl with
eighteenpence behind the streetdoor she pulled out of her reticule
tenpennyworth of halfpence which rolled into all possible corners of the
passage and occupied some considerable time in the pickingup This ceremony
had of course to be succeeded by a second kissing of Kate and Mrs Nickleby
and a gathering together of the little basket and the brownpaper parcel during
which proceedings the omnibus as Miss La Creevy protested swore so
dreadfully that it was quite awful to hear it At length and at last it made a
feint of going away and then Miss La Creevy darted out and darted in
apologising with great volubility to all the passengers and declaring that she
wouldnt purposely have kept them waiting on any account whatever While she was
looking about for a convenient seat the conductor pushed Smike in and cried
that it was all right though it wasnt and away went the huge vehicle with
the noise of half a dozen brewers drays at least
Leaving it to pursue its journey at the pleasure of the conductor
aforementioned who lounged gracefully on his little shelf behind smoking an
odoriferous cigar and leaving it to stop or go on or gallop or crawl as
that gentleman deemed expedient and advisable this narrative may embrace the
opportunity of ascertaining the condition of Sir Mulberry Hawk and to what
extent he had by this time recovered from the injuries consequent on being
flung violently from his cabriolet under the circumstances already detailed
With a shattered limb a body severely bruised a face disfigured by
halfhealed scars and pallid from the exhaustion of recent pain and fever Sir
Mulberry Hawk lay stretched upon his back on the couch to which he was doomed
to be a prisoner for some weeks yet to come Mr Pyke and Mr Pluck sat drinking
hard in the next room now and then varying the monotonous murmurs of their
conversation with a halfsmothered laugh while the young lord the only member
of the party who was not thoroughly irredeemable and who really had a kind
heart sat beside his Mentor with a cigar in his mouth and read to him by
the light of a lamp such scraps of intelligence from a paper of the day as
were most likely to yield him interest or amusement
»Curse those hounds« said the invalid turning his head impatiently towards
the adjoining room »will nothing stop their infernal throats«
Messrs Pyke and Pluck heard the exclamation and stopped immediately
winking to each other as they did so and filling their glasses to the brim as
some recompense for the deprivation of speech
»Damn« muttered the sick man between his teeth and writhing impatiently in
his bed »Isnt this mattress hard enough and the room dull enough and pain
bad enough but they must torture me Whats the time«
»Halfpast eight« replied his friend
»Here draw the table nearer and let us have the cards again« said Sir
Mulberry »More piquet Come«
It was curious to see how eagerly the sick man debarred from any change of
position save the mere turning of his head from side to side watched every
motion of his friend in the progress of the game and with what eagerness and
interest he played and yet how warily and coolly His address and skill were
more than twenty times a match for his adversary who could make little head
against them even when fortune favoured him with good cards which was not
often the case Sir Mulberry won every game and when his companion threw down
the cards and refused to play any longer thrust forth his wasted arm and
caught up the stakes with a boastful oath and the same hoarse laugh though
considerably lowered in tone that had resounded in Ralph Nicklebys
diningroom months before
While he was thus occupied his man appeared to announce that Mr Ralph
Nickleby was below and wished to know how he was tonight
»Better« said Sir Mulberry impatiently
»Mr Nickleby wishes to know sir «
»I tell you better« replied Sir Mulberry striking his hand upon the
table
The man hesitated for a moment or two and then said that Mr Nickleby had
requested permission to see Sir Mulberry Hawk if it was not inconvenient
»It is inconvenient I cant see him I cant see anybody« said his master
more violently than before »You know that you blockhead«
»I am very sorry sir« returned the man »But Mr Nickleby pressed so much
sir «
The fact was that Ralph Nickleby had bribed the man who being anxious to
earn his money with a view to future favours held the door in his hand and
ventured to linger still
»Did he say whether he had any business to speak about« inquired Sir
Mulberry after a little impatient consideration
»No sir He said he wished to see you sir Particularly Mr Nickleby
said sir«
»Tell him to come up Here« cried Sir Mulberry calling the man back as he
passed his hand over his disfigured face »move that lamp and put it on the
stand behind me Wheel that table away and place a chair there further off
Leave it so«
The man obeyed these directions as if he quite comprehended the motive with
which they were dictated and left the room Lord Frederick Verisopht remarking
that he would look in presently strolled into the adjoining apartment and
closed the foldingdoor behind him
Then was heard a subdued footstep on the stairs and Ralph Nickleby hat in
hand crept softly into the room with his body bent forward as if in profound
respect and his eyes fixed upon the face of his worthy client
»Well Nickleby« said Sir Mulberry motioning him to the chair by the couch
side and waving his hand in assumed carelessness »I have had a bad accident
you see«
»I see« rejoined Ralph with the same steady gaze »Bad indeed I should
not have known you Sir Mulberry Dear dear This is bad«
Ralphs manner was one of profound humility and respect and his low tone of
voice was that which the gentlest consideration for a sick man would have taught
a visitor to assume But the expression of his face Sir Mulberrys being
averted was in extraordinary contrast And as he stood in his usual attitude
calmly looking on the prostrate form before him all that part of his features
which was not cast into shadow by his protruding and contracted brows bore the
impress of a sarcastic smile
»Sit down« said Sir Mulberry turning towards him as though by a violent
effort »Am I a sight that you stand gazing there«
As he turned his face Ralph recoiled a step or two and making as though he
were irresistibly impelled to express astonishment but was determined not to do
so sat down with wellacted confusion
»I have inquired at the door Sir Mulberry every day« said Ralph »twice a
day indeed at first and tonight presuming upon old acquaintance and past
transactions by which we have mutually benefited in some degree I could not
resist soliciting admission to your chamber Have you have you suffered much«
said Ralph bending forward and allowing the same harsh smile to gather upon
his face as the other closed his eyes
»More than enough to please me and less than enough to please some
brokendown hacks that you and I know of and who lay their ruin between us I
dare say« returned Sir Mulberry tossing his arm restlessly upon the coverlet
Ralph shrugged his shoulders in deprecation of the intense irritation with
which this had been said for there was an aggravating cold distinctness in his
speech and manner which so grated on the sick man that he could scarcely endure
it
»And what is it in these past transactions that brought you here tonight«
asked Sir Mulberry
»Nothing« replied Ralph »There are some bills of my lords which need
renewal but let them be till you are well I I came« said Ralph speaking
more slowly and with harsher emphasis »I came to say how grieved I am that any
relative of mine although disowned by me should have inflicted such punishment
on you as «
»Punishment« interposed Sir Mulberry
»I know it has been a severe one« said Ralph wilfully mistaking the
meaning of the interruption »and that has made me the more anxious to tell you
that I disown this vagabond that I acknowledge him as no kin of mine and
that I leave him to take his deserts from you and every man besides You may
wring his neck if you please I shall not interfere«
»This story that they tell me here has got abroad then has it« asked Sir
Mulberry clenching his hands and teeth
»Noised in all directions« replied Ralph »Every club and gamingroom has
rung with it There has been a good song made about it as I am told« said
Ralph looking eagerly at his questioner »I have not heard it myself not being
in the way of such things but I have been told its even printed for private
circulation but thats all over town of course«
»Its a lie« said Sir Mulberry »I tell you its all a lie The mare took
fright«
»They say he frightened her« observed Ralph in the same unmoved and quiet
manner »Some say he frightened you but thats a lie I know I have said that
boldly oh a score of times I am a peaceable man but I cant hear folks tell
that of you No no«
When Sir Mulberry found coherent words to utter Ralph bent forward with his
hand to his ear and a face as calm as if its every line of sternness had been
cast in iron
»When I am off this cursed bed« said the invalid actually striking at his
broken leg in the ecstasy of his passion »Ill have such revenge as never man
had yet By G I will Accident favouring him he has marked me for a week or
two but Ill put a mark on him that he shall carry to his grave Ill slit his
nose and ears flog him maim him for life Ill do more than that Ill drag
that pattern of chastity that pink of prudery his delicate sister through «
It might have been that even Ralphs cold blood tingled in his cheeks at
that moment It might have been that Sir Mulberry remembered that knave and
usurer as he was he must in some early time of infancy have twined his arm
about her fathers neck He stopped and menacing with his hand confirmed the
unuttered threat with a tremendous oath
»It is a galling thing« said Ralph after a short term of silence during
which he had eyed the sufferer keenly »to think that the man about town the
rake the roué the rook of twenty seasons should be brought to this pass by a
mere boy«
Sir Mulberry darted a wrathful look at him but Ralphs eyes were bent upon
the ground and his face wore no other expression than one of thoughtfulness
»A raw slight stripling« continued Ralph »against a man whose very weight
might crush him to say nothing of his skill in I am right I think« said
Ralph raising his eyes »you were a patron of the ring once were you not«
The sick man made an impatient gesture which Ralph chose to consider as one
of acquiescence
»Ha« he said »I thought so That was before I knew you but I was pretty
sure I couldnt be mistaken He is light and active I suppose But those were
slight advantages compared with yours Luck luck These hangdog outcasts have
it«
»Hell need the most he has when I am well again« said Sir Mulberry Hawk
»let him fly where he will«
»Oh« returned Ralph quickly »he doesnt dream of that He is here good
sir waiting your pleasure here in London walking the streets at noonday
carrying it off jauntily looking for you I swear« said Ralph his face
darkening and his own hatred getting the upper hand of him for the first time
as this gay picture of Nicholas presented itself »if we were only citizens of a
country where it could be safely done Id give good money to have him stabbed
to the heart and rolled into the kennel for the dogs to tear«
As Ralph somewhat to the surprise of his old client vented this little
piece of sound family feeling and took up his hat preparatory to departing
Lord Frederick Verisopht looked in
»Why what in the dayvles name Hawk have you and Nickleby been talking
about« said the young man »I neyver heard such an insufferable idiot Croak
croak croak Bow wow wow What has it all been about«
»Sir Mulberry has been angry my Lord« said Ralph looking towards the
couch
»Not about money I hope Nothing has gone wrong in business has it
Nickleby«
»No my Lord no« returned Ralph »On that point we always agree Sir
Mulberry has been calling to mind the cause of «
There was neither necessity nor opportunity for Ralph to proceed for Sir
Mulberry took up the theme and vented his threats and oaths against Nicholas
almost as ferociously as before
Ralph who was no common observer was surprised to see that as this tirade
proceeded the manner of Lord Frederick Verisopht who at the commencement had
been twirling his whiskers with a most dandified and listless air underwent a
complete alteration He was still more surprised when Sir Mulberry ceasing to
speak the young lord angrily and almost unaffectedly requested never to have
the subject renewed in his presence
»Mind that Hawk« he added with unusual energy »I never will be a party
to or permit if I can help it a cowardly attack upon this young fellow«
»Cowardly« interrupted his friend
»Yees« said the other turning full upon him »If you had told him who you
were if you had given him your card and found out afterwards that his
station or character prevented your fighting him it would have been bad enough
then upon my soul it would have been bad enough then As it is you did wrong
I did wrong too not to interfere and I am sorry for it What happened to you
afterwards was as much the consequence of accident as design and more your
fault than his and it shall not with my knowledge be cruelly visited upon
him it shall not indeed«
With this emphatic repetition of his concluding words the young lord turned
upon his heel but before he had reached the adjoining room he turned back
again and said with even greater vehemence than he had displayed before
»I do believe now upon my honor I do believe that the sister is as
virtuous and modest a young lady as she is a handsome one and of the brother I
say this that he acted as her brother should and in a manly and spirited
manner And I only wish with all my heart and soul that any one of us came out
of this matter half as well as he does«
So saying Lord Frederick Verisopht walked out of the room leaving Ralph
Nickleby and Sir Mulberry in most unpleasant astonishment
»Is this your pupil« asked Ralph softly »or has he come fresh from some
country parson«
»Green fools take these fits sometimes« replied Sir Mulberry Hawk biting
his lip and pointing to the door »Leave him to me«
Ralph exchanged a familiar look with his old acquaintance for they had
suddenly grown confidential again in this alarming surprise and took his way
home thoughtfully and slowly
While these things were being said and done and long before they were
concluded the omnibus had disgorged Miss La Creevy and her escort and they had
arrived at her own door Now the goodnature of the little miniaturepainter
would by no means allow of Smikes walking back again until he had been
previously refreshed with just a sip of something comfortable and a mixed
biscuit or so and Smike entertaining no objection either to the sip of
something comfortable or the mixed biscuit but considering on the contrary
that they would be a very pleasant preparation for a walk to Bow it fell out
that he delayed much longer than he originally intended and that it was some
half hour after dusk when he set forth on his journey home
There was no likelihood of his losing his way for it lay quite straight
before him and he had walked into town with Nicholas and back alone almost
every day So Miss La Creevy and he shook hands with mutual confidence and
being charged with more kind remembrances to Mrs and Miss Nickleby Smike
started off
At the foot of Ludgate Hill he turned a little out of the road to satisfy
his curiosity by having a look at Newgate After staring up at the sombre walls
from the opposite side of the way with great care and dread for some minutes
he turned back again into the old track and walked briskly through the city
stopping now and then to gaze in at the window of some particularly attractive
shop then running for a little way then stopping again and so on as any
other country lad might do
He had been gazing for a long time through a jewellers window wishing he
could take some of the beautiful trinkets home as a present and imagining what
delight they would afford if he could when the clocks struck threequarters
past eight roused by the sound he hurried on at a very quick pace and was
crossing the corner of a bye street when he felt himself violently brought to
with a jerk so sudden that he was obliged to cling to a lamppost to save
himself from falling At the same moment a small boy clung tight round his leg
and a shrill cry of »Here he is father Hooray« vibrated in his ears
Smike knew that voice too well He cast his despairing eyes downward towards
the form from which it had proceeded and shuddering from head to foot looked
round Mr Squeers had hooked him in the coatcollar with the handle of his
umbrella and was hanging on at the other end with all his might and main The
cry of triumph proceeded from Master Wackford who regardless of all his kicks
and struggles clung to him with the tenacity of a bulldog
One glance showed him this and in that one glance the terrified creature
became utterly powerless and unable to utter a sound
»Heres a go« cried Mr Squeers gradually coming handoverhand down the
umbrella and only unhooking it when he had got tight hold of the victims
collar »Heres a delicious go Wackford my boy call up one of the coaches«
»A coach father« cried little Wackford
»Yes a coach sir« replied Squeers feasting his eyes upon the countenance
of Smike »Damn the expense Lets have him in a coach«
»Whats he been a doing of« asked a labourer with a hod of bricks against
whom and a fellowlabourer Mr Squeers had backed on the first jerk of the
umbrella
»Everything« replied Mr Squeers looking fixedly at his old pupil in a
sort of rapturous trance »Everything running away sir joining in
bloodthirsty attacks upon his master theres nothing thats bad that he hasnt
done Oh what a delicious go is this here good Lord«
The man looked from Squeers to Smike but such mental faculties as the poor
fellow possessed had utterly deserted him The coach came up Master Wackford
entered Squeers pushed in his prize and following close at his heels pulled
up the glasses The coachman mounted his box and drove slowly off leaving the
two bricklayers and an old applewoman and a townmade little boy returning
from an evening school who had been the only witnesses of the scene to
meditate upon it at their leisure
Mr Squeers sat himself down on the opposite seat to the unfortunate Smike
and planting his hands firmly on his knees looked at him for some five
minutes when seeming to recover from his trance he uttered a loud laugh and
slapped his old pupils face several times taking the right and left sides
alternately
»It isnt a dream« said Squeers »Thats real flesh and blood I know the
feel of it« And being quite assured of his good fortune by the experiments Mr
Squeers administered a few boxes on the ear lest the entertainment should seem
to partake of sameness and laughed louder and longer at every one
»Your mother will be fit to jump out of her skin my boy when she hears of
this« said Squeers to his son
»Oh wont she though father« replied Master Wackford
»To think« said Squeers »that you and me should be turning out of a
street and come upon him at the very nick and that I should have him tight at
only one cast of the umbrella as if I had hooked him with a grapplingiron Ha
ha«
»Didnt I catch hold of his leg neither father« said little Wackford
»You did like a good un my boy« said Mr Squeers patting his sons
head »and you shall have the best buttonover jacket and waistcoat that the
next new boy brings down as a reward of merit Mind that You always keep on in
the same path and do them things that you see your father do and when you die
youll go right slap to Heaven and no questions asked«
Improving the occasion in these words Mr Squeers patted his sons head
again and then patted Smikes but harder and inquired in a bantering tone
how he found himself by this time
»I must go home« replied Smike looking wildly round
»To be sure you must Youre about right there« replied Mr Squeers
»Youll go home very soon you will Youll find yourself at the peaceful
village of Dotheboys in Yorkshire in something under a weeks time my young
friend and the next time you get away from there I give you leave to keep
away Wheres the clothes you run off in you ungrateful robber« said Mr
Squeers in a severe voice
Smike glanced at the neat attire which the care of Nicholas had provided for
him and wrung his hands
»Do you know that I could hang you up outside of the Old Bailey for making
away with them articles of property« said Squeers »Do you know that its a
hanging matter and I ant quite certain whether it ant an anatomy one besides
to walk off with upards of the valley of five pound from a dwellinghouse
Eh Do you know that What do you suppose was the worth of them clothes you had
Do you know that that Wellingtonboot you wore cost eightandtwenty shillings
when it was a pair and the shoe sevenandsix But you came to the right shop
for mercy when you came to me and thank your stars that it is me as has got to
serve you with the article«
Anybody not in Mr Squeerss confidence would have supposed that he was
quite out of the article in question instead of having a large stock on hand
ready for all comers nor would the opinion of sceptical persons have undergone
much alteration when he followed up the remark by poking Smike in the chest with
the ferrule of his umbrella and dealing a smart shower of blows with the ribs
of the same instrument upon his head and shoulders
»I never threshed a boy in a hackneycoach before« said Mr Squeers when
he stopped to rest »Theres inconveniency in it but the novelty gives it a
sort of relish too«
Poor Smike He warded off the blows as well as he could and now shrunk
into a corner of the coach with his head resting on his hands and his elbows
on his knees he was stunned and stupified and had no more idea that any act of
his would enable him to escape from the allpowerful Squeers now that he had
no friend to speak to or to advise with than he had had in all the weary years
of his Yorkshire life which preceded the arrival of Nicholas
The journey seemed endless street after street was entered and left behind
and still they went jolting on At last Mr Squeers began to thrust his head out
of the window every halfminute and to bawl a variety of directions to the
coachman and after passing with some difficulty through several mean streets
which the appearance of the houses and the bad state of the road denoted to have
been recently built Mr Squeers suddenly tugged at the check string with all
his might and cried »Stop«
»What are you pulling a mans arm off for« said the coachman looking
angrily down
»Thats the house« replied Squeers »The second of them four little houses
one story high with the green shutters Theres a brass plate on the door with
the name of Snawley«
»Couldnt you say that without wrenching a mans limbs off his body«
inquired the coachman
»No« bawled Mr Squeers »Say another word and Ill summons you for having
a broken winder Stop«
Obedient to this direction the coach stopped at Mr Snawleys door Mr
Snawley may be remembered as the sleek and sanctified gentleman who confided two
sons in law to the parental care of Mr Squeers as narrated in the fourth
chapter of this history Mr Snawleys house was on the extreme borders of some
new settlements adjoining Somers Town and Mr Squeers had taken lodgings
therein for a short time as his stay was longer than usual and as the Saracen
having experience of Master Wackfords appetite had declined to receive him on
any other terms than as a fullgrown customer
»Here we are« said Squeers hurrying Smike into the little parlour where
Mr Snawley and his wife were taking a lobster supper »Heres the vagrant the
felon the rebel the monster of unthankfulness«
»What The boy that run away« cried Snawley resting his knife and fork
upright on the table and opening his eyes to their full width
»The very boy« said Squeers putting his fist close to Smikes nose and
drawing it away again and repeating the process several times with a vicious
aspect »If there wasnt a lady present Id fetch him such a never mind
Ill owe it him«
And here Mr Squeers related how and in what manner and when and where he
had picked up the runaway
»Its clear that there has been a Providence in it sir« said Mr Snawley
casting down his eyes with an air of humility and elevating his fork with a
bit of lobster on the top of it towards the ceiling
»Providence is again him no doubt« replied Mr Squeers scratching his
nose »Of course that was to be expected Anybody might have known that«
»Hardheartedness and evildoing will never prosper sir« said Mr Snawley
»Never was such a thing known« rejoined Squeers taking a little roll of
notes from his pocketbook to see that they were all safe
»I have been Mrs Snawley« said Mr Squeers when he had satisfied himself
upon this point »I have been that chaps benefactor feeder teacher and
clother I have been that chaps classical commercial mathematical
philosophical and trigonomical friend My son my only son Wackford has
been his brother Mrs Squeers has been his mother grandmother aunt Ah and
I may say uncle too all in one She never cottoned to anybody except them two
engaging and delightful boys of yours as she cottoned to this chap Whats my
return Whats come of my milk of human kindness It turns into curds and whey
when I look at him«
»Well it may sir« said Mrs Snawley »Oh Well it may sir«
»Where has he been all this time« inquired Snawley »Has he been living
with «
»Ah sir« interposed Squeers confronting him again »Have you been a
living with that there devilish Nickleby sir«
But no threats or cuffs could elicit from Smike one word of reply to this
question for he had internally resolved that he would rather perish in the
wretched prison to which he was again about to be consigned than utter one
syllable which could involve his first and true friend He had already called to
mind the strict injunctions of secrecy as to his past life which Nicholas had
laid upon him when they travelled from Yorkshire and a confused and perplexed
idea that his benefactor might have committed some terrible crime in bringing
him away which would render him liable to heavy punishment if detected had
contributed in some degree to reduce him to his present state of apathy and
terror
Such were the thoughts if to visions so imperfect and undefined as those
which wandered through his enfeebled brain the term can be applied which were
present to the mind of Smike and rendered him deaf alike to intimidation and
persuasion Finding every effort useless Mr Squeers conducted him to a little
back room up stairs where he was to pass the night Taking the precaution of
removing his shoes and coat and waistcoat and also of locking the door on the
outside lest he should muster up sufficient energy to make an attempt at
escape that worthy gentleman left him to his meditations
What those meditations were and how the poor creatures heart sank within
him when he thought when did he for a moment cease to think of his late
home and the dear friends and familiar faces with which it was associated
cannot be told To prepare the mind for such a heavy sleep its growth must be
stopped by rigour and cruelty in childhood there must be years of misery and
suffering lightened by no ray of hope the chords of the heart which beat a
quick response to the voice of gentleness and affection must have rusted and
broken in their secret places and bear the lingering echo of no old word of
love or kindness Gloomy indeed must have been the short day and dull the
long long twilight preceding such a night of intellect as his
There were voices which would have roused him even then but their welcome
tones could not penetrate there and he crept to bed the same listless
hopeless blighted creature that Nicholas had first found him at the Yorkshire
school
Chapter XXXIX
In which Another Old Friend Encounters Smike very Opportunely and to Some
Purpose
The night fraught with so much bitterness to one poor soul had given place to
a bright and cloudless summer morning when a northcountry mailcoach
traversed with cheerful noise the yet silent streets of Islington and giving
brisk note of its approach with the lively winding of the guards horn
clattered onward to its haltingplace hard by the Postoffice
The only outside passenger was a burly honestlooking countryman on the
box who with his eyes fixed upon the dome of St Pauls Cathedral appeared so
wrapt in admiring wonder as to be quite insensible to all the bustle of getting
out the bags and parcels until one of the coach windows being let sharply down
he looked round and encountered a pretty female face which was just then thrust
out
»See there lass« bawled the countryman pointing towards the object of his
admiration »There be Pauls Church Ecod he be a soizable un he be«
»Goodness John I shouldnt have thought it could have been half the size
What a monster«
»Monsther Yere aboot right theer I reckon Mrs Browdie« said the
countryman goodhumouredly as he came slowly down in his huge topcoat »and
waat dost thee tak yon place to be noo thot un ower the wa Yed never
coom near it gin ye thried for twolve moonths Its na but a Poastoffice Ho
ho They need to charge for dooblelatthers A Poastoffice Waat dost thee
think o thot Ecod if thots ony a Poastoffice Id loike to see where the
Lord Mayor o Lunnun lives«
So saying John Browdie for he it was opened the coachdoor and tapping
Mrs Browdie late Miss Price on the cheek as he looked in burst into a
boisterous fit of laughter
»Weel« said John »Dang my bootuns if she beant asleep agean«
»Shes been asleep all night and was all yesterday except for a minute or
two now and then« replied John Browdies choice »and I was very sorry when she
woke for she has been so cross«
The subject of these remarks was a slumbering figure so muffled in shawl
and cloak that it would have been matter of impossibility to guess at its sex
but for a brownbeaver bonnet and green veil which ornamented the head and
which having been crushed and flattened for two hundred and fifty miles in that
particular angle of the vehicle from which the ladys snores now proceeded
presented an appearance sufficiently ludicrous to have moved less risible
muscles than those of John Browdies ruddy face
»Hollo« cried John twitching one end of the dragged veil »Coom wakken
oop will ee«
After several burrowings into the old corner and many exclamations of
impatience and fatigue the figure struggled into a sitting posture and there
under a mass of crumpled beaver and surrounded by a semicircle of blue
curlpapers were the delicate features of Miss Fanny Squeers
»Oh Tilda« cried Miss Squeers »how you have been kicking of me through
this blessed night«
»Well I do like that« replied her friend laughing »when you have had
nearly the whole coach to yourself«
»Dont deny it Tilda« said Miss Squeers impressively »because you have
and its no use to go attempting to say you havent You mightnt have known it
in your sleep Tilda but I havent closed my eyes for a single wink and so I
think I am to be believed«
With which reply Miss Squeers adjusted the bonnet and veil which nothing
but supernatural interference and an utter suspension of nature's laws could
have reduced to any shape or form and evidently flattering herself that it
looked uncommonly neat brushed off the sandwichcrumbs and bits of biscuit
which had accumulated in her lap and availing herself of John Browdies
proffered arm descended from the coach
»Noo« said John when a hackneycoach had been called and the ladies and
the luggage hurried in »gang to the Sarahs Head mun«
»To the vere« cried the coachman
»Lawk Mr Browdie« interrupted Miss Squeers »The idea Saracens Head«
»Surely« said John »I knowd it was something aboot Sarahs Sons Head
Dost thou know thot«
»Oh ah I know that« replied the coachman gruffly as he banged the door
»Tilda dear really« remonstrated Miss Squeers »we shall be taken for I
dont know what«
»Let them tak us as they foind us« said John Browdie »we deant come to
Lunnun to do nought but joy oursel do we«
»I hope not Mr Browdie« replied Miss Squeers looking singularly dismal
»Well then« said John »its no matther Ive only been a married man
fower days account of poor old feyther deein and puttin it off Here be a
weddin party broide and broidesmaid and the groom if a mun deant joy
himsel noo when ought he hey Drat it all thots what I want to know«
So in order that he might begin to enjoy himself at once and lose no time
Mr Browdie gave his wife a hearty kiss and succeeded in wresting another from
Miss Squeers after a maidenly resistance of scratching and struggling on the
part of that young lady which was not quite over when they reached the
Saracens Head
Here the party straightway retired to rest the refreshment of sleep being
necessary after so long a journey and here they met again about noon to a
substantial breakfast spread by direction of Mr John Browdie in a small
private room up stairs commanding an uninterrupted view of the stables
To have seen Miss Squeers now divested of the brown beaver the green veil
and the blue curlpapers and arrayed in all the virgin splendour of a white
frock and spencer with a white muslin bonnet and an imitative damask rose in
full bloom on the inside thereof her luxuriant crop of hair arranged in curls
so tight that it was impossible they could come out by any accident and her
bonnetcap trimmed with little damask roses which might be supposed to be so
many promising scions of the big rose to have seen all this and to have seen
the broad damask belt matching both the family rose and the little roses which
encircled her slender waist and by a happy ingenuity took off from the
shortness of the spencer behind to have beheld all this and to have taken
further into account the coral bracelets rather short of beads and with a very
visible black string which clasped her wrists and the coral necklace which
rested on her neck supporting outside her frock a lonely cornelian heart
typical of her own disengaged affections to have contemplated all these mute
but expressive appeals to the purest feelings of our nature might have thawed
the frost of age and added new and inextinguishable fuel to the fire of youth
The waiter was touched Waiter as he was he had human passions and
feelings and he looked very hard at Miss Squeers as he handed the muffins
»Is my pa in do you know« asked Miss Squeers with dignity
»Beg your pardon Miss«
»My pa« repeated Miss Squeers »is he in«
»In where Miss«
»In here in the house« replied Miss Squeers »My pa Mr Wackford
Squeers hes stopping here Is he at home«
»I didnt know there was any genlman of that name in the house Miss«
replied the waiter »There may be in the coffeeroom«
May be Very pretty this indeed Here was Miss Squeers who had been
depending all the way to London upon showing her friends how much at home she
would be and how much respectful notice her name and connections would excite
told that her father might be there »As if he was a feller« observed Miss
Squeers with emphatic indignation
»Yed betther inquire mun« said John Browdie »An hond up another
pigeonpie will ee Dang the chap« muttered John looking into the empty dish
as the waiter retired »Does he ca this a pie three yoong pigeons and a
troifling matther o steak and a crust so loight that you doant know when its
in your mooth and when its gane I wonder hoo many pies goes to a breakfast«
After a short interval which John Browdie employed upon the ham and a cold
round of beef the waiter returned with another pie and the information that
Mr Squeers was not stopping in the house but that he came there every day and
that when he arrived he should be shown up stairs With this he retired and
he had not retired two minutes when he returned with Mr Squeers and his
hopeful son
»Why whod have thought of this« said Mr Squeers when he had saluted the
party and received some private family intelligence from his daughter
»Who indeed pa« replied that young lady spitefully »But you see Tilda
is married at last«
»And I stond threat for a soight o Lunnun schoolmeasther« said John
vigorously attacking the pie
»One of them things that young men do when they get married« returned
Squeers »and as runs through with their money like nothing at all How much
better wouldnt it be now to save it up for the eddication of any little boys
for instance They come on you« said Mr Squeers in a moralising way »before
youre aware of it mine did upon me«
»Will ee pick a bit« said John
»I wont myself« returned Squeers »but if youll just let little Wackford
tuck into something fat Ill be obliged to you Give it him in his fingers
else the waiter charges it on and theres lot of profit on this sort of vittles
without that If you hear the waiter coming sir shove it in your pocket and
look out of the window dye hear«
»Im awake father« replied the dutiful Wackford
»Well« said Squeers turning to his daughter »its your turn to be married
next You must make haste«
»Oh Im in no hurry« said Miss Squeers very sharply
»No Fanny« cried her old friend with some archness
»No Tilda« replied Miss Squeers shaking her head vehemently »I can
wait«
»So can the young men it seems Fanny« observed Mrs Browdie
»They ant drawd into it by me Tilda« retorted Miss Squeers
»No« returned her friend »thats exceedingly true«
The sarcastic tone of this reply might have provoked a rather acrimonious
retort from Miss Squeers who besides being of a constitutionally vicious
temper aggravated just now by travel and recent jolting was somewhat
irritated by old recollections and the failure of her own designs upon Mr
Browdie And the acrimonious retort might have led to a great many other
retorts which might have led to Heaven knows what if the subject of
conversation had not been at that precise moment accidentally changed by Mr
Squeers himself
»What do you think« said that gentleman »who do you suppose we have laid
hands on Wackford and me«
»Pa not Mr « Miss Squeers was unable to finish the sentence but Mrs
Browdie did it for her and added »Nickleby«
»No« said Squeers »But next door to him though«
»You cant mean Smike« cried Miss Squeers clapping her hands
»Yes I can though« rejoined her father »Ive got him hard and fast«
»Waat« exclaimed John Browdie pushing away his plate »Got that poor
domd scoundrel Where«
»Why in the top back room at my lodging« replied Squeers »with him on
one side and the key on the other«
»At thy loodgin Theest gotten him at thy loodgin Ho ho The
schoolmeasther agin all England Give us thee hond mun Im darned but I must
shak thee by the hond for thot Gotten him at thy loodgin«
»Yes« replied Squeers staggering in his chair under the congratulatory
blow on the chest which the stout Yorkshireman dealt him »thankee Dont do it
again You mean it kindly I know but it hurts rather Yes there he is Thats
not so bad is it«
»Baad« repeated John Browdie »Its eneaf to scare a mun to hear tell on«
»I thought it would surprise you a bit« said Squeers rubbing his hands
»It was pretty neatly done and pretty quick too«
»Hoo wor it« inquired John sitting down close to him »Tell us all aboot
it mun coom quick«
Although he could not keep pace with John Browdies impatience Mr Squeers
related the lucky chance by which Smike had fallen into his hands as quickly as
he could and except when he was interrupted by the admiring remarks of his
auditors paused not in the recital until he had brought it to an end
»For fear he should give me the slip by any chance« observed Squeers when
he had finished looking very cunning »Ive taken three outsides for tomorrow
morning for Wackford and him and me and have arranged to leave the accounts
and the new boys to the agent dont you see So its very lucky you come
today or youd have missed us as it is unless you could come and tea with me
tonight we shant see anything more of you before we go away«
»Deant say anoother wurd« returned the Yorkshireman shaking him by the
hand »Wed coom if it was twonty mile«
»No would you though« returned Mr Squeers who had not expected quite
such a ready acceptance of his invitation or he would have considered twice
before he gave it
John Browdies only reply was another squeeze of the hand and an assurance
that they would not begin to see London till tomorrow so that they might be at
Mr Snawleys at six oclock without fail After some further conversation Mr
Squeers and his son departed
During the remainder of the day Mr Browdie was in a very odd and excitable
state bursting occasionally into an explosion of laughter and then taking up
his hat and running into the coachyard to have it out by himself He was very
restless too constantly walking in and out and snapping his fingers and
dancing scraps of uncouth country dances and in short conducting himself in
such a very extraordinary manner that Miss Squeers opined he was going mad
and begging her dear Tilda not to distress herself communicated her
suspicions in so many words Mrs Browdie however without discovering any
great alarm observed that she had seen him so once before and that although
he was almost sure to be ill after it it would not be anything very serious
and therefore he was better left alone
The result proved her to be perfectly correct for while they were all
sitting in Mr Snawleys parlour that night and just as it was beginning to get
dusk John Browdie was taken so ill and seized with such an alarming dizziness
in the head that the whole company were thrown into the utmost consternation
His good lady indeed was the only person present who retained presence of mind
enough to observe that if he were allowed to lie down on Mr Squeerss bed for
an hour or so and were left entirely to himself he would be sure to recover
again almost as quickly as he had been taken ill Nobody could refuse to try the
effect of so reasonable a proposal before sending for a surgeon Accordingly
John was supported up stairs with great difficulty being a monstrous weight
and regularly tumbling down two steps every time they hoisted him up three
and being laid on the bed was left in charge of his wife who after a short
interval reappeared in the parlour with the gratifying intelligence that he
had fallen fast asleep
Now the fact was that at that particular moment John Browdie was sitting
on the bed with the reddest face ever seen cramming the corner of the pillow
into his mouth to prevent his roaring out loud with laughter He had no sooner
succeeded in suppressing this emotion than he slipped off his shoes and
creeping to the adjoining room where the prisoner was confined turned the key
which was on the outside and darting in covered Smikes mouth with his huge
hand before he could utter a sound
»Odsbobs dost thee not know me mun« whispered the Yorkshireman to the
bewildered lad »Browdie Chap as met thee efther schoolmeasther was banged«
»Yes yes« cried Smike »Oh help me«
»Help thee« replied John stopping his mouth again the instant he had said
thus much »Thee didnt need help if thee warnt as silly yoongster as ever
drawd breath Waat did ee come here for then«
»He brought me oh he brought me« cried Smike
»Brout thee« replied John »Why didnt ee punch his head or lay theeself
doon and kick and squeal out for the pollis Id ha licked a doozen such as
him when I was yoong as thee But thee beest a poor brokendoon chap« said
John sadly »and God forgi me for bragging ower yan o his weakest creeturs«
Smike opened his mouth to speak but John Browdie stopped him
»Stan still« said the Yorkshireman »and doantee speak a morsel o talk
till I tellee«
With this caution John Browdie shook his head significantly and drawing a
screwdriver from his pocket took off the box of the lock in a very deliberate
and workmanlike manner and laid it together with the implement on the floor
»See thot« said John »Thot be thy doin Noo coot awa«
Smike looked vacantly at him as if unable to comprehend his meaning
»I say coot awa« repeated John hastily »Dost thee know where thee
livest Thee dost Weel Are yon thy clothes or schoolmeasthers«
»Mine« replied Smike as the Yorkshireman hurried him to the adjoining
room and pointed out a pair of shoes and a coat which were lying on a chair
»On wi em« said John forcing the wrong arm into the wrong sleeve and
winding the tails of the coat round the fugitives neck »Noo foller me and
when thee getst ootside door turn to the right and they weant see thee
pass«
»But but hell hear me shut the door« replied Smike trembling from
head to foot
»Then deant shut it at all« retorted John Browdie »Dang it thee beant
afeard o schoolmeasthers takkin cold I hope«
»Nno« said Smike his teeth chattering in his head »But he brought me
back before and will again He will he will indeed«
»He wull he wull« replied John impatiently »He weant he weant
Lookee I wont to do this neighbourly loike and let them think thees gotten
awa o theeself but if he cooms oot o thot parlour awhiles theert clearing
off he mun have mercy on his oun boans for I weant If he foinds it oot
soon efther Ill put un on a wrong scent I warrant ee But if thee keepst a
good hart theelt be at whoam afore they know theest gotten off Coom«
Smike who comprehended just enough of this to know it was intended as
encouragement prepared to follow with tottering steps when John whispered in
his ear
»Theelt just tell yoong Measther that Im sploiced to Tilly Price and to
be heerd on at the Saracen by latther and that I beant jealous of un dang
it Im loike to boost when I thick o that neight Cod I think I see un now
a powderin awa at the thin bread an butther«
It was rather a ticklish recollection for John just then for he was within
an ace of breaking out into a loud guffaw Restraining himself however just in
time by a great effort he glided down stairs hauling Smike behind him then
placing himself close to the parlourdoor to confront the first person that
might come out he signed to Smike to make off
Having got so far Smike needed no second bidding Opening the housedoor
gently and casting a look of mingled gratitude and terror at his deliverer he
took the direction which had been indicated to him and sped away like the
wind
The Yorkshireman remained on his post for a few minutes but finding that
there was no pause in the conversation inside crept back again unheard and
stood listening over the stairrail for a full hour Everything remaining
perfectly quiet he got into Mr Squeerss bed once more and drawing the
clothes over his head laughed till he was nearly smothered
If there could only have been somebody by to see how the bedclothes shook
and to see the Yorkshiremans great red face and round head appear above the
sheets every now and then like some jovial monster coming to the surface to
breathe and once more dive down convulsed with the laughter which came bursting
forth afresh that somebody would have been scarcely less amused than John
Browdie himself
Chapter XL
In which Nicholas Falls in Love He Employs a Mediator whose Proceedings Are
Crowned with Unexpected Success Excepting in One Solitary Particular
Once more out of the clutches of his old persecutor it needed no fresh
stimulation to call forth the utmost energy and exertion that Smike was capable
of summoning to his aid Without pausing for a moment to reflect upon the course
he was taking or the probability of its leading him homewards or the reverse
he fled away with surprising swiftness and constancy of purpose borne upon such
wings as only Fear can wear and impelled by imaginary shouts in the
wellremembered voice of Squeers who with a host of pursuers seemed to the
poor fellows disordered senses to press hard upon his track now left at a
greater distance in the rear and now gaining faster and faster upon him as the
alternations of hope and terror agitated him by turns Long after he had become
assured that these sounds were but the creation of his excited brain he still
held on at a pace which even weakness and exhaustion could scarcely retard It
was not until the darkness and quiet of a country road recalled him to a sense
of external objects, and the starry sky above warned him of the rapid flight
of time that covered with dust and panting for breath he stopped to listen
and look about him
All was still and silent A glare of light in the distance casting a warm
glow upon the sky marked where the huge city lay Solitary fields divided by
hedges and ditches through many of which he had crashed and scrambled in his
flight skirted the road both by the way he had come and upon the opposite
side It was late now They could scarcely trace him by such paths as he had
taken and if he could hope to regain his own dwelling it must surely be at
such a time as that and under cover of the darkness This by degrees became
pretty plain even to the mind of Smike He had at first entertained some
vague and childish idea of travelling into the country for ten or a dozen miles
and then returning homewards by a wide circuit which should keep him clear of
London so great was his apprehension of traversing the streets alone lest he
should again encounter his dreaded enemy but yielding to the conviction which
these thoughts inspired he turned back and taking the open road though not
without many fears and misgivings made for London again with scarcely less
speed of foot than that with which he had left the temporary abode of Mr
Squeers
By the time he reentered it at the western extremity the greater part of
the shops were closed Of the throngs of people who had been tempted abroad
after the heat of the day but few remained in the streets and they were
lounging home But of these he asked his way from time to time and by dint of
repeated inquiries he at length reached the dwelling of Newman Noggs
All that evening Newman had been hunting and searching in byways and
corners for the very person who now knocked at his door while Nicholas had been
pursuing the same inquiry in other directions He was sitting with a melancholy
air at his poor supper when Smikes timorous and uncertain knock reached his
ears Alive to every sound in his anxious and expectant state Newman hurried
down stairs and uttering a cry of joyful surprise dragged the welcome visitor
into the passage and up the stairs and said not a word until he had him safe in
his own garret and the door was shut behind them when he mixed a great mugfull
of gin and water and holding it to Smikes mouth as one might hold a bowl of
medicine to the lips of a refractory child commanded him to drain it to the
last drop
Newman looked uncommonly blank when he found that Smike did little more than
put his lips to the precious mixture he was in the act of raising the mug to
his own mouth with a deep sigh of compassion for his poor friends weakness
when Smike beginning to relate the adventures which had befallen him arrested
him halfway and he stood listening with the mug in his hand
It was odd enough to see the change that came over Newman as Smike
proceeded At first he stood rubbing his lips with the back of his hand as a
preparatory ceremony towards composing himself for a draught then at the
mention of Squeers he took the mug under his arm and opening his eyes very
wide looked on in the utmost astonishment When Smike came to the assault upon
himself in the hackneycoach he hastily deposited the mug upon the table and
limped up and down the room in a state of the greatest excitement stopping
himself with a jerk every now and then as if to listen more attentively When
John Browdie came to be spoken of he dropped by slow and gradual degrees into
a chair and rubbing his hands upon his knees quicker and quicker as the story
reached its climax burst at last into a laugh composed of one loud sonorous
»Ha ha« Having given vent to which his countenance immediately fell again as
he inquired with the utmost anxiety whether it was probable that John Browdie
and Squeers had come to blows
»No I think not« replied Smike »I dont think he could have missed me
till I had got quite away«
Newman scratched his head with a show of great disappointment and once more
lifting up the mug applied himself to the contents smiling meanwhile over the
rim with a grim and ghastly smile at Smike
»You shall stay here« said Newman »youre tired fagged Ill tell them
youre come back They have been half mad about you Mr Nicholas «
»God bless him« cried Smike
»Amen« returned Newman »He hasnt had a minutes rest or peace no more
has the old lady nor Miss Nickleby«
»No no Has she thought about me« said Smike »Has she though Oh has
she has she Dont tell me so if she has not«
»She has« cried Newman »She is as noblehearted as she is beautiful«
»Yes yes« cried Smike »Well said«
»So mild and gentle« said Newman
»Yes yes« cried Smike with increasing eagerness
»And yet with such a true and gallant spirit« pursued Newman
He was going on in his enthusiasm when chancing to look at his companion
he saw that he had covered his face with his hands and that tears were stealing
out between his fingers
A moment before the boys eyes were sparkling with unwonted fire and every
feature had been lighted up with an excitement which made him appear for the
moment quite a different being
»Well well« muttered Newman as if he were a little puzzled »It has
touched me more than once to think such a nature should have been exposed to
such trials this poor fellow yes yes he feels that too it softens him
makes him think of his former misery Hah Thats it Yes thats hum«
It was by no means clear from the tone of these broken reflections that
Newman Noggs considered them as explaining at all satisfactorily the emotion
which had suggested them He sat in a musing attitude for some time regarding
Smike occasionally with an anxious and doubtful glance which sufficiently
showed that he was not very remotely connected with his thoughts
At length he repeated his proposition that Smike should remain where he was
for that night and that he Noggs should straightway repair to the cottage to
relieve the suspense of the family But as Smike would not hear of this
pleading his anxiety to see his friends again they eventually sallied forth
together and the night being by this time far advanced and Smike being
besides so footsore that he could hardly crawl along it was within an hour of
sunrise when they reached their destination
At the first sound of their voices outside the house Nicholas who had
passed a sleepless night devising schemes for the recovery of his lost charge
started from his bed and joyfully admitted them There was so much noisy
conversation and congratulation and indignation that the remainder of the
family were soon awakened and Smike received a warm and cordial welcome not
only from Kate but from Mrs Nickleby also who assured him of her future
favour and regard and was so obliging as to relate for his entertainment and
that of the assembled circle a most remarkable account extracted from some work
the name of which she had never known of a miraculous escape from some prison
but what prison or escape she couldnt remember effected by an officer whose
name she had forgotten confined for some crime which she didnt clearly
recollect
At first Nicholas was disposed to give his uncle credit for some portion of
this bold attempt which had so nearly proved successful to carry off Smike
but on more mature consideration he was inclined to think that the full merit
of it rested with Mr Squeers Determined to ascertain if he could through
John Browdie how the case really stood he betook himself to his daily
occupation meditating as he went on a great variety of schemes for the
punishment of the Yorkshire schoolmaster all of which had their foundation in
the strictest principles of retributive justice and had but the one drawback of
being wholly impracticable
»A fine morning Mr Linkinwater« said Nicholas entering the office
»Ah« replied Tim »talk of the country indeed What do you think of this
now for a day a London day eh«
»Its a little clearer out of town« said Nicholas
»Clearer« echoed Tim Linkinwater »You should see it from my bedroom
window«
»You should see it from mine« replied Nicholas with a smile
»Pooh pooh« said Tim Linkinwater »Dont tell me Country« Bow was quite
a rustic place to Tim »Nonsense What can you get in the country but newlaid
eggs and flowers I can buy newlaid eggs in Leadenhall market any morning
before breakfast And as to flowers its worth a run up stairs to smell my
mignonette or to see the doublewallflower in the backattic window at No 6
in the court«
»There is a doublewallflower at No 6 in the court is there« said
Nicholas
»Yes is there« replied Tim »and planted in a cracked jug without a
spout There were hyacinths there this last spring blossoming in but youll
laugh at that«
»At what«
»At their blossoming in old blackingbottles« said Tim
»Not I indeed« returned Nicholas
Tim looked wistfully at him for a moment as if he were encouraged by the
tone of this reply to be more communicative on the subject sticking behind his
ear a pen that he had been making and shutting up his knife with a smart
click he said
»They belong to a sickly bedridden humpbacked boy and seem to be the only
pleasures Mr Nickleby of his sad existence How many years is it« said Tim
pondering »since I first noticed him quite a little child dragging himself
about on a pair of tiny crutches Well Well Not many but though they would
appear nothing if I thought of other things they seem a long long time when I
think of him It is a sad thing« said Tim breaking off »to see a little
deformed child sitting apart from other children who are active and merry
watching the games he is denied the power to share in He made my heart ache
very often«
»It is a good heart« said Nicholas »that disentangles itself from the
close avocations of every day to heed such things You were saying «
»That the flowers belonged to this poor boy« said Tim »thats all When it
is fine weather and he can crawl out of bed he draws a chair close to the
window and sits there looking at them and arranging them all day long We
used to nod at first and then we came to speak Formerly when I called to him
of a morning and asked him how he was he would smile and say better but now
he shakes his head and only bends more closely over his old plants It must be
dull to watch the dark housetops and the flying clouds for so many months but
he is very patient«
»Is there nobody in the house to cheer or help him« asked Nicholas
»His father lives there I believe« replied Tim »and other people too but
no one seems to care much for the poor sickly cripple I have asked him very
often if I can do nothing for him his answer is always the same Nothing His
voice is growing weak of late but I can see that he makes the old reply He
cant leave his bed now so they have moved it close beside the window and
there he lies all day now looking at the sky and now at his flowers which
he still makes shift to trim and water with his own thin hands At night when
he sees my candle he draws back his curtain and leaves it so till I am in
bed It seems such company to him to know that I am there that I often sit at
my window for an hour or more that he may see I am still awake and sometimes I
get up in the night to look at the dull melancholy light in his little room and
wonder whether he is awake or sleeping
The night will not be long coming« said Tim »when he will sleep and never
wake again on earth We have never so much as shaken hands in all our lives and
yet I shall miss him like an old friend Are there any country flowers that
could interest me like these do you think Or do you suppose that the withering
of a hundred kinds of the choicest flowers that blow called by the hardest
Latin names that were ever invented would give me one fraction of the pain that
I shall feel when those old jugs and bottles are swept away as lumber Country«
cried Tim with a contemptuous emphasis »dont you know that I couldnt have
such a court under my bedroom window anywhere but in London«
With which inquiry Tim turned his back and pretending to be absorbed in
his accounts took an opportunity of hastily wiping his eyes when he supposed
Nicholas was looking another way
Whether it was that Tims accounts were more than usually intricate that
morning or whether it was that his habitual serenity had been a little
disturbed by these recollections it so happened that when Nicholas returned
from executing some commission and inquired whether Mr Charles Cheeryble was
alone in his room Tim promptly and without the smallest hesitation replied in
the affirmative although somebody had passed into the room not ten minutes
before and Tim took especial and particular pride in preventing any intrusion
on either of the brothers when they were engaged with any visitor whatever
»Ill take this letter to him at once« said Nicholas »if thats the case«
And with that he walked to the room and knocked at the door
No answer
Another knock and still no answer
»He cant be here« thought Nicholas »Ill lay it on his table«
So Nicholas opened the door and walked in and very quickly he turned to
walk out again when he saw to his great astonishment and discomfiture a young
lady upon her knees at Mr Cheerybles feet and Mr Cheeryble beseeching her to
rise and entreating a third person who had the appearance of the young ladys
female attendant to add her persuasions to his to induce her to do so
Nicholas stammered out an awkward apology and was precipitately retiring
when the young lady turning her head a little presented to his view the
features of the lovely girl whom he had seen at the registeroffice on his first
visit long before Glancing from her to the attendant he recognised the same
clumsy servant who had accompanied her then and between his admiration of the
young ladys beauty and the confusion and surprise of this unexpected
recognition he stood stockstill in such a bewildered state of surprise and
embarrassment that for the moment he was quite bereft of the power either to
speak or move
»My dear maam my dear young lady« cried brother Charles in violent
agitation »pray dont not another word I beseech and entreat you I implore
you I beg of you to rise We we are not alone«
As he spoke he raised the young lady who staggered to a chair and swooned
away
»She has fainted sir« said Nicholas darting eagerly forward
»Poor dear poor dear« cried brother Charles »Where is my brother Ned
Ned my dear brother come here pray«
»Brother Charles my dear fellow« replied his brother hurrying into the
room »what is the ah what «
»Hush hush not a word for your life brother Ned« returned the other
»Ring for the housekeeper my dear brother call Tim Linkinwater Here Tim
Linkinwater sir Mr Nickleby my dear sir leave the room I beg and beseech
of you«
»I think she is better now« said Nicholas who had been watching the
patient so eagerly that he had not heard the request
»Poor bird« cried brother Charles gently taking her hand in his and
laying her head upon his arm »Brother Ned my dear fellow you will be
surprised I know to witness this in business hours but « here he was again
reminded of the presence of Nicholas and shaking him by the hand earnestly
requested him to leave the room and to send Tim Linkinwater without an
instants delay
Nicholas immediately withdrew and on his way to the countinghouse met
both the old housekeeper and Tim Linkinwater jostling each other in the
passage and hurrying to the scene of action with extraordinary speed Without
waiting to hear his message Tim Linkinwater darted into the room and presently
afterwards Nicholas heard the door shut and locked on the inside
He had abundance of time to ruminate on this discovery for Tim Linkinwater
was absent during the greater part of an hour during the whole of which time
Nicholas thought of nothing but the young lady and her exceeding beauty and
what could possibly have brought her there and why they made such a mystery of
it The more he thought of all this the more it perplexed him and the more
anxious he became to know who and what she was »I should have known her among
ten thousand« thought Nicholas And with that he walked up and down the room
and recalling her face and figure of which he had a peculiarly vivid
remembrance discarded all other subjects of reflection and dwelt upon that
alone
At length Tim Linkinwater came back provokingly cool and with papers in
his hand and a pen in his mouth as if nothing had happened
»Is she quite recovered« said Nicholas impetuously
»Who« returned Tim Linkinwater
»Who« repeated Nicholas »The young lady«
»What do you make Mr Nickleby« said Tim taking his pen out of his mouth
»what do you make of four hundred and twentyseven times three thousand two
hundred and thirtyeight«
»Nay« returned Nicholas »what do you make of my question first I asked
you «
»About the young lady« said Tim Linkinwater putting on his spectacles »To
be sure Yes Oh shes very well«
»Very well is she« returned Nicholas
»Very well« replied Mr Linkinwater gravely
»Will she be able to go home today« asked Nicholas
»Shes gone« said Tim
»Gone«
»Yes«
»I hope she has not far to go« said Nicholas looking earnestly at the
other
»Ay« replied the immovable Tim »I hope she hasnt«
Nicholas hazarded one or two further remarks but it was evident that Tim
Linkinwater had his own reasons for evading the subject and that he was
determined to afford no further information respecting the fair unknown who had
awakened so much curiosity in the breast of his young friend Nothing daunted by
this repulse Nicholas returned to the charge next day emboldened by the
circumstance of Mr Linkinwater being in a very talkative and communicative
mood but he no sooner resumed the theme than Tim relapsed into a state of the
most provoking taciturnity and from answering in monosyllables came to
returning no answers at all save such as were to be inferred from several grave
nods and shrugs which only served to whet that appetite for intelligence in
Nicholas which had already attained a most unreasonable height
Foiled in these attempts he was fain to content himself with watching for
the young ladys next visit but here again he was disappointed Day after day
passed and she did not return He looked eagerly at the superscription of all
the notes and letters but there was not one among them which he could fancy to
be in her handwriting On two or three occasions he was employed on business
which took him to a distance and had formerly been transacted by Tim
Linkinwater Nicholas could not help suspecting that for some reason or other
he was sent out of the way on purpose and that the young lady was there in his
absence Nothing transpired however to confirm this suspicion and Tim could
not be entrapped into any confession or admission tending to support it in the
smallest degree
Mystery and disappointment are not absolutely indispensable to the growth of
love but they are very often its powerful auxiliaries Out of sight out of
mind is well enough as a proverb applicable to cases of friendship though
absence is not always necessary to hollowness of heart even between friends
and truth and honesty like precious stones are perhaps most easily imitated at
a distance when the counterfeits often pass for real Love however, is very
materially assisted by a warm and active imagination which has a long memory
and will thrive for a considerable time on very slight and sparing food Thus it
is that it often attains its most luxuriant growth in separation and under
circumstances of the utmost difficulty and thus it was that Nicholas thinking
of nothing but the unknown young lady from day to day and from hour to hour
began at last to think that he was very desperately in love with her and that
never was such an illused and persecuted lover as he
Still though he loved and languished after the most orthodox models and
was only deterred from making a confidante of Kate by the slight considerations
of having never in all his life spoken to the object of his passion and
having never set eyes upon her except on two occasions on both of which she
had come and gone like a flash of lightning or as Nicholas himself said in
the numerous conversations he held with himself like a vision of youth and
beauty much too bright to last his ardour and devotion remained without its
reward The young lady appeared no more so there was a great deal of love
wasted enough indeed to have set up halfadozen young gentlemen as times go
with the utmost decency and nobody was a bit the wiser for it not even
Nicholas himself who on the contrary became more dull sentimental and
lackadaisical every day
While matters were in this state the failure of a correspondent of the
brothers Cheeryble in Germany imposed upon Tim Linkinwater and Nicholas the
necessity of going through some very long and complicated accounts extending
over a considerable space of time To get through them with the greater
despatch Tim Linkinwater proposed that they should remain at the
countinghouse for a week or so until ten oclock at night to this as
nothing damped the zeal of Nicholas in the service of his kind patrons not
even romance which has seldom business habits he cheerfully assented On the
very first night of these later hours at nine exactly there came not the
young lady herself but her servant who being closeted with brother Charles
for some time went away and returned next night at the same hour and on the
next and on the next again
These repeated visits inflamed the curiosity of Nicholas to the very highest
pitch Tantalized and excited beyond all bearing and unable to fathom the
mystery without neglecting his duty he confided the whole secret to Newman
Noggs imploring him to be on the watch next night to follow the girl home to
set on foot such inquiries relative to the name condition and history of her
mistress as he could without exciting suspicion and to report the result to
him with the least possible delay
Beyond all measure proud of this commission Newman Noggs took up his post
in the square on the following evening a full hour before the needful time
and planting himself behind the pump and pulling his hat over his eyes began
his watch with an elaborate appearance of mystery admirably calculated to
excite the suspicion of all beholders Indeed divers servantgirls who came to
draw water and sundry little boys who stopped to drink at the ladle were
almost scared out of their senses by the apparition of Newman Noggs looking
stealthily round the pump with nothing of him visible but his face and that
wearing the expression of a meditative Ogre
Punctual to her time the messenger came again and after an interview of
rather longer duration than usual departed Newman had made two appointments
with Nicholas one for the next evening conditional on his success one the
next night following which was to be kept under all circumstances The first
night he was not at the place of meeting a certain tavern about halfway
between the City and Golden Square but on the second night he was there
before Nicholas and received him with open arms
»Its all right« whispered Newman »Sit down Sit down theres a dear
young man and let me tell you all about it«
Nicholas needed no second invitation and eagerly inquired what was the
news
»Theres a great deal of news« said Newman in a flutter of exultation
»Its all right Dont be anxious I dont know where to begin Never mind that
Keep up your spirits Its all right«
»Well« said Nicholas eagerly »Yes«
»Yes« replied Newman »Thats it«
»Whats it« said Nicholas »The name the name my dear fellow«
»The names Bobster« replied Newman
»Bobster« repeated Nicholas indignantly
»Thats the name« said Newman »I remember it by Lobster«
»Bobster« repeated Nicholas more emphatically than before »That must be
the servants name«
»No it ant« said Newman shaking his head with great positiveness »Miss
Cecilia Bobster«
»Cecilia eh« returned Nicholas muttering the two names together over and
over again in every variety of tone to try the effect »Well Cecilia is a
pretty name«
»Very And a pretty creature too« said Newman
»Who« said Nicholas
»Miss Bobster«
»Why where have you seen her« demanded Nicholas
»Never mind my dear boy« retorted Noggs clapping him on the shoulder »I
have seen her You shall see her Ive managed it all«
»My dear Newman« cried Nicholas grasping his hand »are you serious«
»I am« replied Newman »I mean it all Every word You shall see her
tomorrow night She consents to hear you speak for yourself I persuaded her
She is all affability sweetness and beauty«
»I know she is I know she must be Newman« said Nicholas wringing his
hand
»You are right« returned Newman
»Where does she live« cried Nicholas »What have you learnt of her history
Has she a father mother any brothers sisters What did she say How came
you to see her Was she not very much surprised Did you say how passionately I
have longed to speak to her Did you tell her where I had seen her Did you tell
her how and when and where and how long and how often I have thought of
that sweet face which came upon me in my bitterest distress like a glimpse of
some better world did you Newman did you«
Poor Noggs literally gasped for breath as this flood of questions rushed
upon him and moved spasmodically in his chair at every fresh inquiry staring
at Nicholas meanwhile with a most ludicrous expression of perplexity
»No« said Newman »I didnt tell her that«
»Didnt tell her which« asked Nicholas
»About the glimpse of the better world« said Newman »I didnt tell her who
you were either or where youd seen her I said you loved her to distraction«
»Thats true Newman« replied Nicholas with his characteristic vehemence
»Heaven knows I do«
»I said too that you had admired her for a long time in secret« said
Newman
»Yes yes What did she say to that« asked Nicholas
»Blushed« said Newman
»To be sure Of course she would« said Nicholas approvingly
Newman then went on to say that the young lady was an only child that her
mother was dead that she resided with her father and that she had been induced
to allow her lover a secret interview at the intercession of her servant who
had great influence with her He further related how it required much moving and
great eloquence to bring the young lady to this pass how it was expressly
understood that she merely afforded Nicholas an opportunity of declaring his
passion and how she by no means pledged herself to be favourably impressed with
his attentions The mystery of her visits to the brothers Cheeryble remained
wholly unexplained for Newman had not alluded to them either in his
preliminary conversations with the servant or his subsequent interview with the
mistress merely remarking that he had been instructed to watch the girl home
and plead his young friends cause and not saying how far he had followed her
or from what point But Newman hinted that from what had fallen from the
confidante he had been led to suspect that the young lady led a very miserable
and unhappy life under the strict control of her only parent who was of a
violent and brutal temper a circumstance which he thought might in some degree
account both for her having sought the protection and friendship of the
brothers and her suffering herself to be prevailed upon to grant the promised
interview The last he held to be a very logical deduction from the premises
inasmuch as it was but natural to suppose that a young lady whose present
condition was so unenviable would be more than commonly desirous to change it
It appeared on further questioning for it was only by a very long and
arduous process that all this could be got out of Newman Noggs that Newman in
explanation of his shabby appearance had represented himself as being for
certain wise and indispensable purposes connected with that intrigue in
disguise and being questioned how he had come to exceed his commission so far
as to procure an interview he responded that the lady appearing willing to
grant it he considered himself bound both in duty and gallantry to avail
himself of such a golden means of enabling Nicholas to prosecute his addresses
After these and all possible questions had been asked and answered twenty times
over they parted undertaking to meet on the following night at halfpast ten
for the purpose of fulfilling the appointment which was for eleven oclock
»Things come about very strangely« thought Nicholas as he walked home »I
never contemplated anything of this kind never dreamt of the possibility of it
To know something of the life of one in whom I felt such interest to see her in
the street to pass the house in which she lived to meet her sometimes in her
walks to hope that a day might come when I might be in a condition to tell her
of my love this was the utmost extent of my thoughts Now however but I
should be a fool indeed to repine at my own good fortune«
Still Nicholas was dissatisfied and there was more in the dissatisfaction
than mere revulsion of feeling He was angry with the young lady for being so
easily won because reasoned Nicholas it is not as if she knew it was I but
it might have been anybody which was certainly not pleasant The next moment
he was angry with himself for entertaining such thoughts arguing that nothing
but goodness could dwell in such a temple and that the behaviour of the
brothers sufficiently showed the estimation in which they held her »The fact
is shes a mystery altogether« said Nicholas This was not more satisfactory
than his previous course of reflection and only drove him out upon a new sea of
speculation and conjecture where he tossed and tumbled in great discomfort of
mind until the clock struck ten and the hour of meeting drew nigh
Nicholas had dressed himself with great care and even Newman Noggs had
trimmed himself up a little his coat presenting the phenomenon of two
consecutive buttons and the supplementary pins being inserted at tolerably
regular intervals He wore his hat too in the newest taste with a pocket
handkerchief in the crown and a twisted end of it straggling out behind after
the fashion of a pigtail though he could scarcely lay claim to the ingenuity of
inventing this latter decoration inasmuch as he was utterly unconscious of it
being in a nervous and excited condition which rendered him quite insensible to
everything but the great object of the expedition
They traversed the streets in profound silence and after walking at a round
pace for some distance arrived in one of a gloomy appearance and very little
frequented near the Edgewareroad
»Number twelve« said Newman
»Oh« replied Nicholas looking about him
»Good street« said Newman
»Yes« returned Nicholas »Rather dull«
Newman made no answer to this remark but halting abruptly planted
Nicholas with his back to some area railings and gave him to understand that he
was to wait there without moving hand or foot until it was satisfactorily
ascertained that the coast was clear This done Noggs limped away with great
alacrity looking over his shoulder every instant to make quite certain that
Nicholas was obeying his directions and ascending the steps of a house some
halfdozen doors off was lost to view
After a short delay he reappeared and limping back again halted midway
and beckoned Nicholas to follow him
»Well« said Nicholas advancing towards him on tiptoe
»All right« replied Newman in high glee »All ready nobody at home
Couldnt be better Ha ha«
With this fortifying assurance he stole past a streetdoor on which
Nicholas caught a glimpse of a brass plate with »BOBSTER« in very large
letters and stopping at the areagate which was open signed to his young
friend to descend
»What the devil« cried Nicholas drawing back »Are we to sneak into the
kitchen as if we came after the forks«
»Hush« replied Newman »Old Bobster ferocious Turk Hed kill em all
box the young ladys ears he does often«
»What« cried Nicholas in high wrath »do you mean to tell me that any man
would dare to box the ears of such a «
He had no time to sing the praises of his mistress just then for Newman
gave him a gentle push which had nearly precipitated him to the bottom of the
area steps Thinking it best to take the hint in good part Nicholas descended
without further remonstrance but with a countenance bespeaking anything rather
than the hope and rapture of a passionate lover Newman followed he would have
followed head first but for the timely assistance of Nicholas and taking his
hand led him through a stone passage profoundly dark into a back kitchen or
cellar of the blackest and most pitchy obscurity where they stopped
»Well« said Nicholas in a discontented whisper »this is not all I
suppose is it«
»No no« rejoined Noggs »theyll be here directly Its all right«
»I am glad to hear it« said Nicholas »I shouldnt have thought it I
confess«
They exchanged no further words and there Nicholas stood listening to the
loud breathing of Newman Noggs and imagining that his nose seemed to glow like
a redhot coal even in the midst of the darkness which enshrouded them
Suddenly the sound of cautious footsteps attracted his ear and directly
afterwards a female voice inquired if the gentleman was there
»Yes« replied Nicholas turning towards the corner from which the voice
proceeded »Who is that«
»Only me sir« replied the voice »Now if you please maam«
A gleam of light shone into the place and presently the servantgirl
appeared bearing a light and followed by her young mistress who seemed to be
overwhelmed by modesty and confusion
At sight of the young lady Nicholas started and changed colour his heart
beat violently and he stood rooted to the spot At that instant and almost
simultaneously with her arrival and that of the candle there was heard a loud
and furious knocking at the streetdoor which caused Newman Noggs to jump up
with great agility from a beerbarrel on which he had been seated astride and
to exclaim abruptly and with a face of ashy paleness »Bobster by the Lord«
The young lady shrieked the attendant wrung her hands Nicholas gazed from
one to the other in apparent stupefaction and Newman hurried to and fro
thrusting his hands into all his pockets successively and drawing out the
linings of every one in the excess of his irresolution It was but a moment but
the confusion crowded into that one moment no imagination can exaggerate
»Leave the house for Heavens sake We have done wrong we deserve it all«
cried the young lady »Leave the house or I am ruined and undone for ever«
»Will you hear me say but one word« cried Nicholas »Only one I will not
detain you Will you hear me say one word in explanation of this mischance«
But Nicholas might as well have spoken to the wind for the young lady with
distracted looks hurried up the stairs He would have followed her but Newman
twisting his hand in his coat collar dragged him towards the passage by which
they had entered
»Let me go Newman in the Devils name« cried Nicholas »I must speak to
her I will I will not leave this house without«
»Reputation character violence consider« said Newman clinging round
him with both arms and hurrying him away »Let them open the door Well go as
we came directly its shut Come This way Here«
Overpowered by the remonstrances of Newman and the tears and prayers of the
girl and the tremendous knocking above which had never ceased Nicholas
allowed himself to be hurried off and precisely as Mr Bobster made his
entrance by the streetdoor he and Noggs made their exit by the areagate
They hurried away through several streets without stopping or speaking At
last they halted and confronted each other with blank and rueful faces
»Never mind« said Newman gasping for breath »Dont be cast down Its all
right More fortunate next time It couldnt be helped I did my part«
»Excellently« replied Nicholas taking his hand »Excellently and like the
true and zealous friend you are Only mind I am not disappointed Newman and
feel just as much indebted to you only it was the wrong lady«
»Eh« cried Newman Noggs »Taken in by the servant«
»Newman Newman« said Nicholas laying his hand upon his shoulder »it was
the wrong servant too«
Newmans underjaw dropped and he gazed at Nicholas with his sound eye
fixed fast and motionless in his head
»Dont take it to heart« said Nicholas »its of no consequence you see I
dont care about it you followed the wrong person thats all«
That was all Whether Newman Noggs had looked round the pump in a slanting
direction so long that his sight became impaired or whether finding that
there was time to spare he had recruited himself with a few drops of something
stronger than the pump could yield by whatsoever means it had come to pass
this was his mistake And Nicholas went home to brood upon it and to meditate
upon the charms of the unknown young lady now as far beyond his reach as ever
Chapter XLI
Containing Some Romantic Passages Between Mrs Nickleby and The Gentleman in the
SmallClothes Next Door
Ever since her last momentous conversation with her son Mrs Nickleby had begun
to display unusual care in the adornment of her person gradually superadding to
those staid and matronly habiliments which had up to that time formed her
ordinary attire a variety of embellishments and decorations slight perhaps in
themselves, but taken together and considered with reference to the subject of
her disclosure of no mean importance Even her black dress assumed something of
a deadlylively air from the jaunty style in which it was worn and eked out as
its lingering attractions were by a prudent disposal here and there of
certain juvenile ornaments of little or no value which had for that reason
alone escaped the general wreck and been permitted to slumber peacefully in odd
corners of old drawers and boxes where daylight seldom shone her mourning
garments assumed quite a new character From being the outward tokens of respect
and sorrow for the dead they became converted into signals of very slaughterous
and killing designs upon the living
Mrs Nickleby might have been stimulated to this proceeding by a lofty sense
of duty and impulses of unquestionable excellence She might by this time
have become impressed with the sinfulness of long indulgence in unavailing woe
or the necessity of setting a proper example of neatness and decorum to her
blooming daughter Considerations of duty and responsibility apart the change
might have taken its rise in feelings of the purest and most disinterested
charity The gentleman next door had been vilified by Nicholas rudely
stigmatised as a dotard and an idiot and for these attacks upon his
understanding Mrs Nickleby was in some sort accountable She might have felt
that it was the act of a good Christian to show by all means in her power that
the abused gentleman was neither the one nor the other And what better means
could she adopt towards so virtuous and laudable an end than proving to all
men in her own person that his passion was the most rational and reasonable in
the world and just the very result of all others which discreet and thinking
persons might have foreseen from her incautiously displaying her matured
charms without reserve under the very eye as it were of an ardent and
toosusceptible man
»Ah« said Mrs Nickleby gravely shaking her head »if Nicholas knew what
his poor dear papa suffered before we were engaged when I used to hate him he
would have a little more feeling Shall I ever forget the morning I looked
scornfully at him when he offered to carry my parasol Or that night when I
frowned at him It was a mercy he didnt emigrate It very nearly drove him to
it«
Whether the deceased might not have been better off if he had emigrated in
his bachelor days was a question which his relict did not stop to consider for
Kate entered the room with her workbox in this stage of her reflections and
a much slighter interruption or no interruption at all would have diverted
Mrs Nicklebys thoughts into a new channel at any time
»Kate my dear« said Mrs Nickleby »I dont know how it is but a fine
warm summer day like this with the birds singing in every direction always
puts me in mind of roast pig with sage and onion sauce and made gravy«
»Thats a curious association of ideas, is it not mama«
»Upon my word my dear I dont know« replied Mrs Nickleby »Roast pig
let me see On the day five weeks after you were christened we had a roast
no that couldnt have been a pig either because I recollect there were a pair
of them to carve and your poor papa and I could never have thought of sitting
down to two pigs they must have been partridges Roast pig I hardly think we
ever could have had one now I come to remember for your papa could never bear
the sight of them in the shops and used to say that they always put him in mind
of very little babies only the pigs had much fairer complexions and he had a
horror of little babies too because he couldnt very well afford any increase
to his family and had a natural dislike to the subject Its very odd now what
can have put that in my head I recollect dining once at Mrs Bevans in that
broad street round the corner by the coachmakers where the tipsy man fell
through the cellarflap of an empty house nearly a week before the quarterday
and wasnt found till the new tenant went in and we had roast pig there It
must be that I think that reminds me of it especially as there was a little
bird in the room that would keep on singing all the time of dinner at least
not a little bird for it was a parrot and he didnt sing exactly for he
talked and swore dreadfully but I think it must be that Indeed I am sure it
must Shouldnt you say so my dear«
»I should say there was not a doubt about it mama« returned Kate with a
cheerful smile
»No but do you think so Kate« said Mrs Nickleby with as much gravity as
if it were a question of the most imminent and thrilling interest »If you
dont say so at once you know because its just as well to be correct
particularly on a point of this kind which is very curious and worth settling
while one thinks about it«
Kate laughingly replied that she was quite convinced and as her mama still
appeared undetermined whether it was not absolutely essential that the subject
should be renewed proposed that they should take their work into the
summerhouse and enjoy the beauty of the afternoon Mrs Nickleby readily
assented and to the summerhouse they repaired without further discussion
»Well I will say« observed Mrs Nickleby as she took her seat »that
there never was such a good creature as Smike Upon my word the pains he has
taken in putting this little arbour to rights and training the sweetest flowers
about it are beyond anything I could have I wish he wouldnt put all the
gravel on your side Kate my dear though and leave nothing but mould for me«
»Dear mama« returned Kate hastily »take this seat do to oblige me
mama«
»No indeed my dear I shall keep my own side« said Mrs Nickleby »Well
I declare«
Kate looked up inquiringly
»If he hasnt been« said Mrs Nickleby »and got from somewhere or other
a couple of roots of those flowers that I said I was so fond of the other
night and asked you if you were not no that you said you were so fond of
the other night and asked me if I wasnt its the same thing Now upon my
word I take that as very kind and attentive indeed I dont see« added Mrs
Nickleby looking narrowly about her »any of them on my side but I suppose
they grow best near the gravel You may depend upon it they do Kate and thats
the reason they are all near you and he has put the gravel there because its
the sunny side Upon my word thats very clever now I shouldnt have had half
so much thought myself«
»Mama« said Kate bending over her work so that her face was almost hidden
»before you were married «
»Dear me Kate« interrupted Mrs Nickleby »what in the name of goodness
graciousness makes you fly off to the time before I was married when Im
talking to you about his thoughtfulness and attention to me You dont seem to
take the smallest interest in the garden«
»Oh mama« said Kate raising her face again »you know I do«
»Well then my dear why dont you praise the neatness and prettiness with
which its kept« said Mrs Nickleby »How very odd you are Kate«
»I do praise it mama« answered Kate gently »Poor fellow«
»I scarcely ever hear you my dear« retorted Mrs Nickleby »thats all
Ive got to say« By this time the good lady had been a long while upon one
topic so she fell at once into her daughters little trap if trap it were and
inquired what she had been going to say
»About what mama« said Kate who had apparently quite forgotten her
diversion
»Lor Kate my dear« returned her mother »why youre asleep or stupid
About the time before I was married«
»Oh yes« said Kate »I remember I was going to ask mama before you were
married had you many suitors«
»Suitors my dear« cried Mrs Nickleby with a smile of wonderful
complacency »First and last Kate I must have had a dozen at least«
»Mama« returned Kate in a tone of remonstrance
»I had indeed my dear« said Mrs Nickleby »not including your poor papa
or a young gentleman who used to go at that time to the same dancing school
and who would send gold watches and bracelets to our house in giltedged paper
which were always returned and who afterwards unfortunately went out to
Botany Bay in a cadet ship a convict ship I mean and escaped into a bush and
killed sheep I dont know how they got there and was going to be hung only
he accidentally choked himself and the government pardoned him Then there was
young Lukin« said Mrs Nickleby beginning with her left thumb and checking off
the names on her fingers »Mogley Tipslark Cabbery Smifser «
Having now reached her little finger Mrs Nickleby was carrying the account
over to the other hand when a loud »Hem« which appeared to come from the very
foundation of the gardenwall gave both herself and her daughter a violent
start
»Mama what was that« said Kate in a low tone of voice
»Upon my word my dear« returned Mrs Nickleby considerably startled
»unless it was the gentleman belonging to the next house I dont know what it
could possibly «
»A hem« cried the same voice and that not in the tone of an ordinary
clearing of the throat but in a kind of bellow which woke up all the echoes in
the neighbourhood and was prolonged to an extent which must have made the
unseen bellower quite black in the face
»I understand it now my dear« said Mrs Nickleby laying her hand on
Kates »dont be alarmed my love its not directed to you and is not
intended to frighten anybody Let us give everybody their due Kate I am bound
to say that«
So saying Mrs Nickleby nodded her head and patted the back of her
daughters hand a great many times and looked as if she could tell something
vastly important if she chose but had selfdenial thank Heaven and wouldnt
do it
»What do you mean mama« demanded Kate in evident surprise
»Dont be flurried my dear« replied Mrs Nickleby looking towards the
gardenwall »for you see Im not and if it would be excusable in anybody to be
flurried it certainly would under all the circumstances be excusable in me
but I am not Kate not at all«
»It seems designed to attract our attention mama« said Kate
»It is designed to attract our attention my dear at least« rejoined Mrs
Nickleby drawing herself up and patting her daughters hand more blandly than
before »to attract the attention of one of us Hem you neednt be at all
uneasy my dear«
Kate looked very much perplexed and was apparently about to ask for further
explanation when a shouting and scuffling noise as of an elderly gentleman
whooping and kicking up his legs on loose gravel with great violence was
heard to proceed from the same direction as the former sounds and before they
had subsided a large cucumber was seen to shoot up in the air with the velocity
of a skyrocket whence it descended tumbling over and over until it fell at
Mrs Nicklebys feet
This remarkable appearance was succeeded by another of a precisely similar
description then a fine vegetable marrow of unusually large dimensions was
seen to whirl aloft and come toppling down then several cucumbers shot up
together finally the air was darkened by a shower of onions turnipradishes
and other small vegetables which fell rolling and scattering and bumping
about in all directions
As Kate rose from her seat in some alarm and caught her mothers hand to
run with her into the house she felt herself rather retarded than assisted in
her intention and following the direction of Mrs Nicklebys eyes was quite
terrified by the apparition of an old black velvet cap which by slow degrees
as if its wearer were ascending a ladder or pair of step rose above the wall
dividing their garden from that of the next cottage which like their own was
a detached building and was gradually followed by a very large head and an
old face in which were a pair of most extraordinary grey eyes very wild very
wide open and rolling in their sockets with a dull languishing leering look
most ugly to behold
»Mama« cried Kate really terrified for the moment »why do you stop why
do you lose an instant Mama pray come in«
»Kate my dear« returned her mother still holding back »how can you be so
foolish Im ashamed of you How do you suppose you are ever to get through
life if youre such a coward as this What do you want sir« said Mrs
Nickleby addressing the intruder with a sort of simpering displeasure »How
dare you look into this garden«
»Queen of my soul« replied the stranger folding his hands together »this
goblet sip«
»Nonsense sir« said Mrs Nickleby »Kate my love pray be quiet«
»Wont you sip the goblet« urged the stranger with his head imploringly on
one side and his right hand on his breast »Oh do sip the goblet«
»I shall not consent to do anything of the kind sir« said Mrs Nickleby
»Pray begone«
»Why is it« said the old gentleman coming up a step higher and leaning
his elbows on the wall with as much complacency as if he were looking out of a
window »why is it that beauty is always obdurate even when admiration is as
honorable and respectful as mine« Here he smiled kissed his hand and made
several low bows »Is it owing to the bees who when the honey season is over
and they are supposed to have been killed with brimstone in reality fly to
Barbary and lull the captive Moors to sleep with their drowsy songs Or is it«
he added dropping his voice almost to a whisper »in consequence of the statue
at Charing Cross having been lately seen on the Stock Exchange at midnight
walking arminarm with the Pump from Aldgate in a ridinghabit«
»Mama« murmured Kate »do you hear him«
»Hush my dear« replied Mrs Nickleby in the same tone of voice »he is
very polite and I think that was a quotation from the poets Pray dont worry
me so youll pinch my arm black and blue Go away sir«
»Quite away« said the gentleman with a languishing look »Oh quite away«
»Yes« returned Mrs Nickleby »certainly You have no business here This
is private property sir you ought to know that«
»I do know« said the old gentleman laying his finger on his nose with an
air of familiarity most reprehensible »that this is a sacred and enchanted
spot where the most divine charms« here he kissed his hand and bowed again
»waft mellifluousness over the neighbours gardens and force the fruit and
vegetables into premature existence That fact I am acquainted with But will
you permit me fairest creature to ask you one question in the absence of the
planet Venus who has gone on business to the Horse Guards and would otherwise
jealous of your superior charms interpose between us«
»Kate« observed Mrs Nickleby turning to her daughter »its very awkward
positively I really dont know what to say to this gentleman One ought to be
civil you know«
»Dear mama« rejoined Kate »dont say a word to him but let us run away
as fast as we can and shut ourselves up till Nicholas comes home«
Mrs Nickleby looked very grand not to say contemptuous at this
humiliating proposal and turning to the old gentleman who had watched them
during these whispers with absorbing eagerness said
»If you will conduct yourself sir like the gentleman I should imagine you
to be from your language and and appearance quite the counterpart of your
grandpapa Kate my dear in his best days and will put your question to me
in plain words I will answer it«
If Mrs Nicklebys excellent papa had borne in his best days a resemblance
to the neighbour now looking over the wall he must have been to say the least
a very queerlooking old gentleman in his prime Perhaps Kate thought so for
she ventured to glance at his living portrait with some attention as he took
off his black velvet cap and exhibiting a perfectly bald head made a long
series of bows each accompanied with a fresh kiss of the hand After exhausting
himself to all appearance with this fatiguing performance he covered his head
once more pulled the cap very carefully over the tips of his ears and resuming
his former attitude said
»The question is «
Here he broke off to look round in every direction and satisfy himself
beyond all doubt that there were no listeners near Assured that there were not
he tapped his nose several times accompanying the action with a cunning look
as though congratulating himself on his caution and stretching out his neck
said in a loud whisper
»Are you a princess«
»You are mocking me sir« replied Mrs Nickleby making a feint of
retreating towards the house
»No but are you« said the old gentleman
»You know I am not sir« replied Mrs Nickleby
»Then are you any relation to the Archbishop of Canterbury« inquired the
old gentleman with great anxiety »Or to the Pope of Rome Or the Speaker of the
House of Commons Forgive me if I am wrong but I was told you were niece to
the Commissioners of Paving and daughterinlaw to the Lord Mayor and Court of
Common Council which would account for your relationship to all three«
»Whoever has spread such reports sir« returned Mrs Nickleby with some
warmth »has taken great liberties with my name and one which I am sure my son
Nicholas if he was aware of it would not allow for an instant The idea« said
Mrs Nickleby drawing herself up »Niece to the Commissioners of Paving«
»Pray mama come away« whispered Kate
»Pray mama Nonsense Kate« said Mrs Nickleby angrily »but thats just
the way If they had said I was niece to a piping bullfinch what would you
care But I have no sympathy« whimpered Mrs Nickleby »I dont expect it
thats one thing«
»Tears« cried the old gentleman with such an energetic jump that he fell
down two or three steps and grated his chin against the wall »Catch the crystal
globules catch em bottle em up cork em tight put sealingwax on the
top seal em with a cupid label em Best quality and stow em away in the
fourteen binn with a bar of iron on the top to keep the thunder off«
Issuing these commands as if there were a dozen attendants all actively
engaged in their execution he turned his velvet cap inside out put it on with
great dignity so as to obscure his right eye and threefourths of his nose and
sticking his arms akimbo looked very fiercely at a sparrow hard by till the
bird flew away He then put his cap in his pocket with an air of great
satisfaction and addressed himself with respectful demeanour to Mrs Nickleby
»Beautiful madam« such were his words »if I have made any mistake with
regard to your family or connexions I humbly beseech you to pardon me If I
supposed you to be related to Foreign Powers or Native Boards it is because you
have a manner a carriage a dignity which you will excuse my saying that none
but yourself with the single exception perhaps of the tragic muse when playing
extemporaneously on the barrel organ before the East India Company can
parallel I am not a youth maam as you see and although beings like you can
never grow old I venture to presume that we are fitted for each other«
»Really Kate my love« said Mrs Nickleby faintly and looking another
way
»I have estates maam« said the old gentleman flourishing his right hand
negligently as if he made very light of such matters and speaking very fast
»jewels lighthouses fishponds a whalery of my own in the North Sea and
several oysterbeds of great profit in the Pacific Ocean If you will have the
kindness to step down to the Royal Exchange and to take the cocked hat off the
stoutest beadles head you will find my card in the lining of the crown
wrapped up in a piece of blue paper My walkingstick is also to be seen on
application to the chaplain of the House of Commons who is strictly forbidden
to take any money for showing it I have enemies about me maam« he looked
towards his house and spoke very low »who attack me on all occasions and wish
to secure my property If you bless me with your hand and heart you can apply
to the Lord Chancellor or call out the military if necessary sending my
toothpick to the commanderinchief will be sufficient and so clear the house
of them before the ceremony is performed After that love bliss and rapture
rapture love and bliss Be mine be mine«
Repeating these last words with great rapture and enthusiasm the old
gentleman put on his black velvet cap again and looking up into the sky in a
hasty manner said something that was not quite intelligible concerning a
balloon he expected and which was rather after its time
»Be mine be mine« repeated the old gentleman
»Kate my dear« said Mrs Nickleby »I have hardly the power to speak but
it is necessary for the happiness of all parties that this matter should be set
at rest for ever«
»Surely there is no necessity for you to say one word mama« reasoned Kate
»You will allow me my dear if you please to judge for myself« said Mrs
Nickleby
»Be mine be mine« cried the old gentleman
»It can scarcely be expected sir« said Mrs Nickleby fixing her eyes
modestly on the ground »that I should tell a stranger whether I feel flattered
and obliged by such proposals or not They certainly are made under very
singular circumstances still at the same time as far as it goes and to a
certain extent of course« Mrs Nicklebys customary qualification »they must
be gratifying and agreeable to ones feelings«
»Be mine be mine« cried the old gentleman »Gog and Magog Gog and Magog
Be mine be mine«
»It will be sufficient for me to say sir« resumed Mrs Nickleby with
perfect seriousness »and Im sure youll see the propriety of taking an answer
and going away that I have made up my mind to remain a widow and to devote
myself to my children You may not suppose I am the mother of two children
indeed many people have doubted it and said that nothing on earth could ever
make em believe it possible but it is the case and they are both grown up
We shall be very glad to have you for a neighbour very glad delighted Im
sure but in any other character its quite impossible quite As to my being
young enough to marry again that perhaps may be so or it may not be but I
couldnt think of it for an instant not on any account whatever I said I never
would and I never will Its a very painful thing to have to reject proposals
and I would much rather that none were made at the same time this is the answer
that I determined long ago to make and this is the answer I shall always give«
These observations were partly addressed to the old gentleman partly to
Kate and partly delivered in soliloquy Towards their conclusion the suitor
evinced a very irreverent degree of inattention and Mrs Nickleby had scarcely
finished speaking when to the great terror both of that lady and her daughter
he suddenly flung off his coat and springing on the top of the wall threw
himself into an attitude which displayed his smallclothes and grey worsteds to
the fullest advantage and concluded by standing on one leg and repeating his
favourite bellow with increased vehemence
While he was still dwelling on the last note and embellishing it with a
prolonged flourish a dirty hand was observed to glide stealthily and swiftly
along the top of the wall as if in pursuit of a fly and then to clasp with the
utmost dexterity one of the old gentlemans ancles This done the companion
hand appeared and clasped the other ancle
Thus encumbered the old gentleman lifted his legs awkwardly once or twice
as if they were very clumsy and imperfect pieces of machinery and then looking
down on his own side of the wall burst into a loud laugh
»Its you is it« said the old gentleman
»Yes its me« replied a gruff voice
»Hows the Emperor of Tartary« said the old gentleman
»Oh hes much the same as usual« was the reply »No better and no worse«
»The young Prince of China« said the old gentleman with much interest »Is
he reconciled to his fatherinlaw the great potato salesman«
»No« answered the gruff voice »and he says he never will be thats more«
»If thats the case« observed the old gentleman »perhaps Id better come
down«
»Well« said the man on the other side »I think you had perhaps«
One of the hands being then cautiously unclasped the old gentleman dropped
into a sitting posture and was looking round to smile and bow to Mrs Nickleby
when he disappeared with some precipitation as if his legs had been pulled from
below
Very much relieved by his disappearance Kate was turning to speak to her
mama when the dirty hands again became visible and were immediately followed
by the figure of a coarse squat man who ascended by the steps which had been
recently occupied by their singular neighbour
»Beg your pardon ladies« said this new comer grinning and touching his
hat »Has he been making love to either of you«
»Yes« said Kate
»Ah« rejoined the man taking his handkerchief out of his hat and wiping
his face »he always will you know Nothing will prevent his making love«
»I need not ask you if he is out of his mind poor creature« said Kate
»Why no« replied the man looking into his hat throwing his handkerchief
in at one dab and putting it on again »Thats pretty plain that is«
»Has he been long so« asked Kate
»A long while«
»And is there no hope for him« said Kate compassionately
»Not a bit and dont deserve to be« replied the keeper »Hes a deal
pleasanter without his senses than with em He was the cruellest wickedest
outandouterest old flint that ever drawed breath«
»Indeed« said Kate
»By George« replied the keeper shaking his head so emphatically that he
was obliged to frown to keep his hat on »I never came across such a vagabond
and my mate says the same Broke his poor wifes heart turned his daughters out
of doors drove his sons into the streets it was a blessing he went mad at
last through evil tempers and covetousness and selfishness and guzzling and
drinking or hed have drove many others so Hope for him an old rip There
isnt too much hope going but Ill bet a crown that what there is is saved for
more deserving chaps than him anyhow«
With which confession of his faith the keeper shook his head again as much
as to say that nothing short of this would do if things were to go on at all
and touching his hat sulkily not that he was in an ill humour but that his
subject ruffled him descended the ladder and took it away
During this conversation Mrs Nickleby had regarded the man with a severe
and stedfast look She now heaved a profound sigh and pursing up her lips
shook her head in a slow and doubtful manner
»Poor creature« said Kate
»Ah poor indeed« rejoined Mrs Nickleby »Its shameful that such things
should be allowed Shameful«
»How can they be helped mama« said Kate mournfully »The infirmities of
nature «
»Nature« said Mrs Nickleby »What Do you suppose this poor gentleman is
out of his mind«
»Can anybody who sees him entertain any other opinion mama«
»Why then I just tell you this Kate« returned Mrs Nickleby »that he is
nothing of the kind and I am surprised you can be so imposed upon Its some
plot of these people to possess themselves of his property didnt he say so
himself He may be a little odd and flighty perhaps many of us are that but
downright mad and express himself as he does respectfully and in quite
poetical language and making offers with so much thought and care and
prudence not as if he ran into the streets and went down upon his knees to
the first chit of a girl he met as a madman would No no Kate theres a
great deal too much method in his madness depend upon that my dear«
Chapter XLII
Illustrative of the Convivial Sentiment that the Best of Friends Must Sometimes
Part
The pavement of Snow Hill had been baking and frying all day in the heat and
the twain Saracens heads guarding the entrance to the hostelry of whose name
and sign they are the duplicate presentiments looked or seemed in the eyes of
jaded and footsore passers by to look more vicious than usual after
blistering and scorching in the sun when in one of the inns smallest
sittingrooms through whose open window there rose in a palpable steam
wholesome exhalations from reeking coachhorses the usual furniture of a
teatable was displayed in neat and inviting order flanked by large joints of
roast and boiled a tongue a pigeonpie a cold fowl a tankard of ale and
other little matters of the like kind which in degenerate towns and cities
are generally understood to belong more particularly to solid lunches
stagecoach dinners or unusually substantial breakfasts
Mr John Browdie with his hands in his pockets hovered restlessly about
these delicacies stopping occasionally to whisk the flies out of the
sugarbasin with his wifes pockethandkerchief or to dip a teaspoon in the
milkpot and carry it to his mouth or to cut off a little knob of crust and a
little corner of meat and swallow them at two gulps like a couple of pills
After every one of these flirtations with the eatables he pulled out his watch
and declared with an earnestness quite pathetic that he couldnt undertake to
hold out two minutes longer
»Tilly« said John to his lady who was reclining half awake and half asleep
upon a sofa
»Well John«
»Weel John« retorted her husband impatiently »Dost thou feel hoongry
lass«
»Not very« said Mrs Browdie
»Not vary« repeated John raising his eyes to the ceiling »Hear her say
not vary and us dining at three and loonching off pasthry thot aggravates a
mon stead of pacifying him Not vary«
»Heres a genlman for you sir« said the waiter looking in
»A waat for me« cried John as though he thought it must he a letter or
a parcel
»A genlman sir«
»Stars and garthers chap« said John »waat dost thou coom and say thot
for In wi un«
»Are you at home sir«
»At whoam« cried John »I wish I wur Id ha tead two hour ago Why I
told toother chap to look sharp ootside door and tell un drectly he coom
thot we war faint wi hoonger In wi un Aha Thee hond Misther Nickleby
This is nigh to be the proodest day o my life sir Hoo be all wi ye Ding
But Im glod o this«
Quite forgetting even his hunger in the heartiness of his salutation John
Browdie shook Nicholas by the hand again and again slapping his palm with great
violence between each shake to add warmth to the reception
»Ah there she be« said John observing the look which Nicholas directed
towards his wife »There she be we shant quarrel about her noo Eh Ecod
when I think o thot but thou wantst soomat to eat Fall to mun fall to
and for waat were aboot to receive «
No doubt the grace was properly finished but nothing more was heard for
John had already begun to play such a knife and fork that his speech was for
the time gone
»I shall take the usual licence Mr Browdie« said Nicholas as he placed a
chair for the bride
»Tak whatever thou likest« said John »and when as gane ca for more«
Without stopping to explain Nicholas kissed the blushing Mrs Browdie and
handed her to her seat
»I say« said John rather astounded for the moment »mak theeself quite at
whoam will ee«
»You may depend upon that« replied Nicholas »on one condition«
»And waat may thot be« asked John
»That you make me a godfather the very first time you have occasion for
one«
»Eh dye hear thot« cried John laying down his knife and fork »A
godfeyther Ha ha ha Tilly hear till un a godfeyther Divnt say a word
more yell never beat thot Occasion for un a godfeyther Ha ha ha«
Never was man so tickled with a respectable old joke as John Browdie was
with this He chuckled roared halfsuffocated himself by laughing large pieces
of beef into his windpipe roared again persisted in eating at the same time
got red in the face and black in the forehead coughed cried got better went
off again laughing inwardly got worse choked had his back thumped stamped
about frightened his wife and at last recovered in a state of the last
exhaustion and with the water streaming from his eyes but still faintly
ejaculating »A godfeyther a godfeyther Tilly« in a tone bespeaking an
exquisite relish of the sally which no suffering could diminish
»You remember the night of our first teadrinking« said Nicholas
»Shall I eer forget it mun« replied John Browdie
»He was a desperate fellow that night though was he not Mrs Browdie«
said Nicholas »Quite a monster«
»If you had only heard him as we were going home Mr Nickleby youd have
said so indeed« returned the bride »I never was so frightened in all my life«
»Coom coom« said John with a broad grin »thou knowst betther than thot
Tilly«
»So I was« replied Mrs Browdie »I almost made up my mind never to speak
to you again«
»Amost« said John with a broader grin than the last »Amost made up her
mind And she wur coaxin and coaxin and wheedlin and wheedlin a the
blessed wa Waat didst thou let yon chap mak oop tivee for says I I
deednt John says she a squeedgin my arm You deednt says I Noa says she
a squeedgin of me agean«
»Lor John« interposed his pretty wife colouring very much »How can you
talk such nonsense As if I should have dreamt of such a thing«
»I dinnot know whether thoud ever dreamt of it though I think thats loike
eneaf mind« retorted John »but thou didst it Yere a feeckle changeable
weathercock lass says I Not feeckle John says she Yes says I feeckle
domd feeckle Dinnot tell me thou beant efther yon chap at schoolmeasthers
says I Him says she quite screeching Ah him says I Why John says she
and she coom a deal closer and squeedged a deal harder than shed deane afore
dost thou think its natral noo that having such a proper mun as thou to keep
company wi Id ever tak oop wi such a leetle scanty whippersnapper as yon
she says Ha ha ha She said whippersnapper Ecod I says efther thot neame
the day and lets have it ower Ha ha ha«
Nicholas laughed very heartily at this story both on account of its telling
against himself and his being desirous to spare the blushes of Mrs Browdie
whose protestations were drowned in peals of laughter from her husband His
goodnature soon put her at her ease and although she still denied the charge
she laughed so heartily at it that Nicholas had the satisfaction of feeling
assured that in all essential respects it was strictly true
»This is the second time« said Nicholas »that we have ever taken a meal
together and only the third I have ever seen you and yet it really seems to me
as if I were among old friends«
»Weel« observed the Yorkshireman »so I say«
»And I am sure I do« added his young wife
»I have the best reason to be impressed with the feeling mind« said
Nicholas »for if it had not been for your kindness of heart my good friend
when I had no right or reason to expect it I know not what might have become of
me or what plight I should have been in by this time«
»Talk aboot soomat else« replied John gruffly »and dinnot bother«
»It must be a new song to the same tune then« said Nicholas smiling »I
told you in my letter that I deeply felt and admired your sympathy with that
poor lad whom you released at the risk of involving yourself in trouble and
difficulty but I can never tell you how grateful he and I and others whom you
dont know are to you for taking pity on him«
»Ecod« rejoined John Browdie drawing up his chair »and I can never tell
you hoo gratful soom folks that we do know would be loikewise if they knowd I
had takken pity on him«
»Ah« exclaimed Mrs Browdie »what a state I was in that night«
»Were they at all disposed to give you credit for assisting in the escape«
inquired Nicholas of John Browdie
»Not a bit« replied the Yorkshireman extending his mouth from ear to ear
»There I lay snoog in schoolmeasthers bed long efther it was dark and nobody
coom nigh the pleace Weel thinks I hes got a pretty good start and if he
beant whoam by noo he never will be so you may coom as quick as you loike
and foind us reddy that is you know schoolmeasther might coom«
»I understand« said Nicholas
»Presently« resumed John »he did coom I heerd door shut doon stairs and
him a warking oop in the daark Slow and steddy I says to myself tak your
time sir no hurry He cooms to the door turns the key turns the key when
there warnt nothing to hoold the lock and cas oot Hallo there Yes
thinks I you may do thot agean and not wakken anybody sir Hallo there he
says and then he stops Thoud betther not aggravate me says schoolmeasther
efther a little time Ill brak every boan in your boddy Smike he says
efther another little time Then all of a soodden he sings oot for a loight
and when it cooms ecod such a hoorlyboorly Waats the matter says I Hes
gane says he stark mad wi vengeance Have you heerd nought Ees says I I
heerd street door shut no time at a ago I heerd a person run doon there
pointing tother wa eh Help he cries Ill help you says I and off we
set the wrong wa Ho ho ho«
»Did you go far« asked Nicholas
»Far« replied John »I run him clean off his legs in quarther of an hoor
To see old schoolmeasther wiout his hat skimming along oop to his knees in mud
and wather tumbling over fences and rowling into ditches and bawling oot like
mad wi his one eye looking sharp out for the lad and his coattails flying
out behind and him spattered wi mud all ower face and all I thot I should
ha dropped doon and killed myself wi laughing«
John laughed so heartily at the mere recollection that he communicated the
contagion to both his hearers and all three burst into peals of laughter which
were renewed again and again until they could laugh no longer
»Hes a bad un« said John wiping his eyes »a very bad un is
schoolmeasther«
»I cant bear the sight of him John« said his wife
»Coom« retorted John »thots tidy in you thot is If it want along o
you we shouldnt know nought aboot un Thou knowd un first Tilly didnt
thou«
»I couldnt help knowing Fanny Squeers John« returned his wife »she was
an old playmate of mine you know«
»Weel« replied John »deant I say so lass Its best to be neighbourly
and keep up old acquaintance loike and what I say is deant quarrel if ee can
help it Dinnot think so Mr Nickleby«
»Certainly« returned Nicholas »and you acted upon that principle when I
met you on horseback on the road after our memorable evening«
»Surely« said John »Waat I say I stick by«
»And thats a fine thing to do and manly too« said Nicholas »though its
not exactly what we understand by coming Yorkshire over us in London Miss
Squeers is stopping with you you said in your note«
»Yes« replied John »Tillys bridesmaid and a queer bridesmaid she be
too She weant be a bride in a hurry I reckon«
»For shame John« said Mrs Browdie with an acute perception of the joke
though being a bride herself
»The groom will be a blessed mun« said John his eyes twinkling at the
idea »Hell be in luck he will«
»You see Mr Nickleby« said his wife »that it was in consequence of her
being here that John wrote to you and fixed tonight because we thought that
it wouldnt be pleasant for you to meet after what has passed«
»Unquestionably You were quite right in that« said Nicholas interrupting
»Especially« observed Mrs Browdie looking very sly »after what we know
about past and gone love matters«
»We know indeed« said Nicholas shaking his head »You behaved rather
wickedly there I suspect«
»O course she did« said John Browdie passing his huge forefinger through
one of his wifes pretty ringlets and looking very proud of her »She wur
always as skittish and full o tricks as a «
»Well as a what« said his wife
»As a woman« returned John »Ding But I dinnot know ought else that cooms
nigh it«
»You were speaking about Miss Squeers« said Nicholas with the view of
stopping some slight connubialities which had begun to pass between Mr and Mrs
Browdie and which rendered the position of a third party in some degree
embarrassing as occasioning him to feel rather in the way than otherwise
»Oh yes« rejoined Mrs Browdie »John ha done John fixed tonight
because she had settled that she would go and drink tea with her father And to
make quite sure of there being nothing amiss and of your being quite alone with
us he settled to go out there and fetch her home«
»That was a very good arrangement« said Nicholas »though I am sorry to be
the occasion of so much trouble«
»Not the least in the world« returned Mrs Browdie »for we have looked
forward to seeing you John and I have with the greatest possible pleasure
Do you know Mr Nickleby« said Mrs Browdie with her archest smile »that I
really think Fanny Squeers was very fond of you«
»I am very much obliged to her« said Nicholas »but upon my word I never
aspired to making any impression upon her virgin heart«
»How you talk« tittered Mrs Browdie »No but do you know that really
seriously now and without any joking I was given to understand by Fanny
herself that you had made an offer to her and that you two were going to be
engaged quite solemn and regular«
»Was you maam was you« cried a shrill female voice »was you given to
understand that I I was going to be engaged to an assassinating thief that
shed the gore of my pa Do you do you think maam that I was very fond of
such dirt beneath my feet as I couldnt condescend to touch with kitchen tongs
without blacking and crocking myself by the contract Do you maam Do you Oh
base and degrading Tilda«
With these reproaches Miss Squeers flung the door wide open and disclosed
to the eyes of the astonished Browdies and Nicholas not only her own
symmetrical form arrayed in the chaste white garments before described a
little dirtier but the form of her brother and father the pair of Wackfords
»This is the hend is it« continued Miss Squeers who being excited
aspirated her hs strongly »this is the hend is it of all my forbearance and
friendship for that doublefaced thing that viper that that mermaid«
Miss Squeers hesitated a long time for this last epithet and brought it out
triumphantly at last as if it quite clinched the business »This is the hend
is it of all my bearing with her deceitfulness her lowness her falseness
her laying herself out to catch the admiration of vulgar minds in a way which
made me blush for my for my «
»Gender« suggested Mr Squeers regarding the spectators with a malevolent
eye literally a malevolent eye
»Yes« said Miss Squeers »but I thank my stars that my ma is of the same«
»Hear hear« remarked Mr Squeers »and I wish she was here to have a
scratch at this company«
»This is the hend is it« said Miss Squeers tossing her head and looking
contemptuously at the floor »of my taking notice of that rubbishing creature
and demeaning myself to patronise her«
»Oh come« rejoined Mrs Browdie disregarding all the endeavours of her
spouse to restrain her and forcing herself into a front row »dont talk such
nonsense as that«
»Have I not patronised you maam« demanded Miss Squeers
»No« returned Mrs Browdie
»I will not look for blushes in such a quarter« said Miss Squeers
haughtily »for that countenance is a stranger to everything but
hignominiousness and redfaced boldness«
»I say« interposed John Browdie nettled by these accumulated attacks on
his wife »dra it mild dra it mild«
»You Mr Browdie« said Miss Squeers taking him up very quickly »I pity
I have no feeling for you sir but one of unliquidated pity«
»Oh« said John
»No« said Miss Squeers looking sideways at her parent »although I am a
queer bridesmaid and shant be a bride in a hurry and although my husband will
be in luck I entertain no sentiments towards you sir but sentiments of pity«
Here Miss Squeers looked sideways at her father again who looked sideways
at her as much as to say »There you had him«
»I know what youve got to go through« said Miss Squeers shaking her curls
violently »I know what life is before you and if you was my bitterest and
deadliest enemy I could wish you nothing worse«
»Couldnt you wish to be married to him yourself if that was the case«
inquired Mrs Browdie with great suavity of manner
»Oh maam how witty you are« retorted Miss Squeers with a low curtsey
»almost as witty maam as you are clever How very clever it was in you
maam to choose a time when I had gone to tea with my pa and was sure not to
come back without being fetched What a pity you never thought that other people
might be as clever as yourself and spoil your plans«
»You wont vex me child with such airs as these« said the late Miss
Price assuming the matron
»Dont Missis me maam if you please« returned Miss Squeers sharply
»Ill not bear it Is this the hend «
»Dang it a« cried John Browdie impatiently »Say thee say out Fanny and
mak sure its the end and dinnot ask nobody whether it is or not«
»Thanking you for your advice which was not required Mr Browdie« returned
Miss Squeers with laborious politeness »have the goodness not to presume to
meddle with my christian name Even my pity shall never make me forget whats
due to myself Mr Browdie Tilda« said Miss Squeers with such a sudden
accession of violence that John started in his boots »I throw you off for ever
Miss I abandon you I renounce you I wouldnt« cried Miss Squeers in a solemn
voice »have a child named Tilda not to save it from its grave«
»As for the matther o that« observed John »itll be time eneaf to think
aboot neaming of it when it cooms«
»John« interposed his wife »dont tease her«
»Oh Tease indeed« cried Miss Squeers bridling up »Tease indeed He
he Tease too No dont tease her Consider her feelings pray«
»If its fated that listeners are never to hear any good of themselves«
said Mrs Browdie »I cant help it and I am very sorry for it But I will say
Fanny that times out of number I have spoken so kindly of you behind your back
that even you could have found no fault with what I said«
»Oh I dare say not maam« cried Miss Squeers with another curtsey »Best
thanks to you for your goodness and begging and praying you not to be hard upon
me another time«
»I dont know« resumed Mrs Browdie »that I have said anything very bad of
you even now At all events what I did say was quite true but if I have I am
very sorry for it and I beg your pardon You have said much worse of me scores
of times Fanny but I have never borne any malice to you and I hope youll not
bear any to me«
Miss Squeers made no more direct reply than surveying her former friend from
top to toe and elevating her nose in the air with ineffable disdain But some
indistinct allusions to a puss and a minx and a contemptible creature escaped
her and this together with a severe biting of the lips great difficulty in
swallowing and very frequent comings and goings of breath seemed to imply that
feelings were swelling in Miss Squeerss bosom too great for utterance
While the foregoing conversation was proceeding Master Wackford finding
himself unnoticed and feeling his preponderating inclinations strong upon him
had by little and little sidled up to the table and attacked the food with such
slight skirmishing as drawing his fingers round and round the inside of the
plates and afterwards sucking them with infinite relish picking the bread and
dragging the pieces over the surface of the butter pocketing lumps of sugar
pretending all the time to be absorbed in thought and so forth Finding that no
interference was attempted with these small liberties he gradually mounted to
greater and after helping himself to a moderately good cold collation was by
this time deep in the pie
Nothing of this had been unobserved by Mr Squeers who so long as the
attention of the company was fixed upon other objects hugged himself to think
that his son and heir should be fattening at the enemys expense But there
being now an appearance of a temporary calm in which the proceedings of little
Wackford could scarcely fail to be observed he feigned to be aware of the
circumstance for the first time and inflicted upon the face of that young
gentleman a slap that made the very teacups ring
»Eating« cried Mr Squeers »of what his fathers enemies has left Its
fit to go and poison you you unnatral boy«
»It weant hurt him« said John apparently very much relieved by the
prospect of having a man in the quarrel »let un eat I wish the whole school
was here Id give em soomut to stay their unfortnate stomachs wi if I
spent the last penny I had«
Squeers scowled at him with the worst and most malicious expression of which
his face was capable it was a face of remarkable capability too in that way
and shook his fist stealthily
»Coom coom schoolmeasther« said John »dinnot make a fool o thyself for
if I was to sheake mine only once thoud fa doon wi the wind o it«
»It was you was it« returned Squeers »that helped off my runaway boy It
was you was it«
»Me« returned John in a loud tone »Yes it wa me coom waat o that
It wa me Noo then«
»You hear him say he did it my child« said Squeers appealing to his
daughter »You hear him say he did it«
»Did it« cried John »Ill tell ee more hear this too If thoud get
another roonaway boy Id do it agean If thoud got twonty roonaway boys Id
do it twonty times ower and twonty more to thot and I tell thee more« said
John »noo my blood is oop that thout an old raascal and that its weel for
thou thou best an old un or Id ha poonded thee to flour when thou told an
honest mun hoo thoud licked that poor chap in t coorch«
»An honest man« cried Squeers with a sneer
»Ah An honest man« replied John »honest in ought but ever putting legs
under seame table wi such as thou«
»Scandal« said Squeers exultingly »Two witnesses to it Wackford knows
the nature of an oath he does we shall have you there sir Rascal eh« Mr
Squeers took out his pocketbook and made a note of it »Very good I should say
that was worth full twenty pound at the next assizes without the honesty sir«
»Soizes« cried John »thoud betther not talk to me o Soizes Yorkshire
schools have been shown up at Soizes afore noo mun and its a ticklish
soobjact to revive I can tell ye«
Mr Squeers shook his head in a threatening manner looking very white with
passion and taking his daughters arm and dragging little Wackford by the
hand retreated towards the door
»As for you« said Squeers turning round and addressing Nicholas who as
he had caused him to smart pretty soundly on a former occasion purposely
abstained from taking any part in the discussion »see if I aint down upon you
before long Youll go a kidnapping of boys will you Take care their fathers
dont turn up mark that take care their fathers dont turn up and send em
back to me to do as I like with in spite of you«
»I am not afraid of that« replied Nicholas shrugging his shoulders
contemptuously and turning away
»Aint you« retorted Squeers with a diabolical look »Now then come
along«
»I leave such society with my pa for hever« said Miss Squeers looking
contemptuously and loftily round »I am defiled by breathing the air with such
creatures Poor Mr Browdie He he he I do pity him that I do hes so
deluded He he he Artful and designing Tilda«
With this sudden relapse into the sternest and most majestic wrath Miss
Squeers swept from the room and having sustained her dignity until the last
possible moment was heard to sob and scream and struggle in the passage
John Browdie remained standing behind the table looking from his wife to
Nicholas and back again with his mouth wide open until his hand accidentally
fell upon the tankard of ale He took it up and having obscured his features
therewith for some time drew a long breath handed it over to Nicholas and
rang the bell
»Here waither« said John briskly »Look alive here Tak these things
awa and lets have soomat broiled for sooper vary coomfortable and plenty o
it at ten oclock Bring soom brandy and soom wather and a pair o slippers
the largest pair in the house and be quick aboot it Dash ma wig« said John
rubbing his hands »theres no ganging oot to neeght noo to fetch anybody
whoam and ecod well begin to spend the evening in airnest«
Chapter XLIII
Officiates as a Kind of Gentleman Usher in Bringing Various People Together
The storm had long given place to a calm the most profound and the evening was
pretty far advanced indeed supper was over and the process of digestion
proceeding as favourably as under the influence of complete tranquillity
cheerful conversation and a moderate allowance of brandy and water most wise
men conversant with the anatomy and functions of the human frame will consider
that it ought to have proceeded when the three friends or as one might say
both in a civil and religious sense and with proper deference and regard to the
holy state of matrimony the two friends Mr and Mrs Browdie counting as no
more than one were startled by the noise of loud and angry threatenings below
stairs which presently attained so high a pitch and were conveyed besides in
language so towering sanguinary and ferocious that it could hardly have been
surpassed if there had actually been a Saracens head then present in the
establishment supported on the shoulders and surmounting the trunk of a real
live furious and most unappeasable Saracen
This turmoil instead of quickly subsiding after the first outburst as
turmoils not unfrequently do whether in taverns legislative assemblies or
elsewhere into a mere grumbling and growling squabble increased every moment
and although the whole din appeared to be raised by but one pair of lungs yet
that one pair was of so powerful a quality and repeated such words as
scoundrel rascal insolent puppy and a variety of expletives no less
flattering to the party addressed with such great relish and strength of tone
that a dozen voices raised in concert under any ordinary circumstances would
have made far less uproar and created much smaller consternation
»Why whats the matter« said Nicholas moving hastily towards the door
John Browdie was striding in the same direction when Mrs Browdie turned
pale and leaning back in her chair requested him with a faint voice to take
notice that if he ran into any danger it was her intention to fall into
hysterics immediately and that the consequences might be more serious than he
thought for John looked rather disconcerted by this intelligence though there
was a lurking grin on his face at the same time but being quite unable to keep
out of the fray he compromised the matter by tucking his wifes arm under his
own and thus accompanied following Nicholas down stairs with all speed
The passage outside the coffeeroom door was the scene of disturbance and
here were congregated the coffeeroom customers and waiters together with two
or three coachmen and helpers from the yard These had hastily assembled round a
young man who from his appearance might have been a year or two older than
Nicholas and who besides having given utterance to the defiances just now
described seemed to have proceeded to even greater lengths in his indignation
inasmuch as his feet had no other covering than a pair of stockings while a
couple of slippers lay at no great distance from the head of a prostrate figure
in an opposite corner who bore the appearance of having been shot into his
present retreat by means of a kick and complimented by having the slippers
flung about his ears afterwards
The coffeeroom customers and the waiters and the coachmen and the
helpers not to mention a barmaid who was looking on from behind an open sash
window seemed at that moment if a spectator might judge from their winks
nods and muttered exclamations strongly disposed to take part against the
young gentleman in the stockings Observing this and that the young gentleman
was nearly of his own age and had in nothing the appearance of an habitual
brawler Nicholas impelled by such feelings as will influence young men
sometimes felt a very strong disposition to side with the weaker party and so
thrust himself at once into the centre of the group and in a more emphatic
tone perhaps than circumstances might seem to warrant demanded what all that
noise was about
»Hallo« said one of the men from the yard »this is somebody in disguise
this is«
»Room for the eldest son of the Emperor of Roosher genlmen« cried
another fellow
Disregarding these sallies which were uncommonly well received as sallies
at the expense of the bestdressed persons in a crowd usually are Nicholas
glanced carelessly round and addressing the young gentleman who had by this
time picked up his slippers and thrust his feet into them repeated his
inquiries with a courteous air
»A mere nothing« he replied
At this a murmur was raised by the lookerson and some of the boldest
cried »Oh indeed Wasnt it though Nothing eh He called that
nothing did he Lucky for him if he found it nothing« These and many other
expressions of ironical disapprobation having been exhausted two or three of
the outofdoor fellows began to hustle Nicholas and the young gentleman who had
made the noise stumbling against them by accident and treading on their toes
and so forth But this being a round game and one not necessarily limited to
three or four players was open to John Browdie too who bursting into the
little crowd to the great terror of his wife and falling about in all
directions now to the right now to the left now forwards now backwards and
accidentally driving his elbow through the hat of the tallest helper who had
been particularly active speedily caused the odds to wear a very different
appearance while more than one stout fellow limped away to a respectful
distance anathematising with tears in his eyes the heavy tread and ponderous
feet of the burly Yorkshireman
»Let me see him do it again« said he who had been kicked into the corner
rising as he spoke apparently more from the fear of John Browdies
inadvertently treading upon him than from any desire to place himself on equal
terms with his late adversary »Let me see him do it again Thats all«
»Let me hear you make those remarks again« said the young man »and Ill
knock that head of yours in among the wineglasses behind you there«
Here a waiter who had been rubbing his hands in excessive enjoyment of the
scene so long as only the breaking of heads was in question adjured the
spectators with great earnestness to fetch the police declaring that otherwise
murder would be surely done and that he was responsible for all the glass and
china on the premises
»No one need trouble himself to stir« said the young gentleman »I am going
to remain in the house all night and shall be found here in the morning if
there is any assault to answer for«
»What did you strike him for« asked one of the bystanders
»Ah What did you strike him for« demanded the others
The unpopular gentleman looked coolly round and addressing himself to
Nicholas said
»You inquired just now what was the matter here The matter is simply this
Yonder person who was drinking with a friend in the coffeeroom when I took my
seat there for half an hour before going to bed for I have just come off a
journey and preferred stopping here tonight to going home at this hour where
I was not expected until tomorrow chose to express himself in very
disrespectful and insolently familiar terms of a young lady whom I recognised
from his description and other circumstances and whom I have the honor to know
As he spoke loud enough to be overheard by the other guests who were present I
informed him most civilly that he was mistaken in his conjectures which were of
an offensive nature and requested him to forbear He did so for a little time
but as he chose to renew his conversation when leaving the room in a more
offensive strain than before I could not refrain from making after him and
facilitating his departure by a kick which reduced him to the posture in which
you saw him just now I am the best judge of my own affairs I take it« said
the young man who had certainly not quite recovered from his recent heat »if
anybody here thinks proper to make this quarrel his own I have not the smallest
earthly objection I do assure him«
Of all possible courses of proceeding under the circumstances detailed
there was certainly not one which in his then state of mind could have
appeared more laudable to Nicholas than this There were not many subjects of
dispute which at that moment could have come home to his own breast more
powerfully for having the unknown uppermost in his thoughts it naturally
occurred to him that he would have done just the same if any audacious gossiper
durst have presumed in his hearing to speak lightly of her Influenced by these
considerations he espoused the young gentlemans quarrel with great warmth
protesting that he had done quite right and that he respected him for it which
John Browdie albeit not quite clear as to the merits immediately protested
too with not inferior vehemence
»Let him take care thats all« said the defeated party who was being
rubbed down by a waiter after his recent fall on the dusty boards »He dont
knock me about for nothing I can tell him that A pretty state of things if a
man isnt to admire a handsome girl without being beat to pieces for it«
This reflection appeared to have great weight with the young lady in the
bar who adjusting her cap as she spoke and glancing at a mirror declared
that it would be a very pretty state of things indeed and that if people were
to be punished for actions so innocent and natural as that there would be more
people to be knocked down than there would be people to knock them down and
that she wondered what the gentleman meant by it that she did
»My dear girl« said the young gentleman in a low voice advancing towards
the sash window
»Nonsense sir« replied the young lady sharply smiling though as she
turned aside and biting her lip whereat Mrs Browdie who was still standing
on the stairs glanced at her with disdain and called to her husband to come
away
»No but listen to me« said the young man »If admiration of a pretty face
were criminal I should be the most hopeless person alive for I cannot resist
one It has the most extraordinary effect upon me checks and controls me in the
most furious and obstinate mood You see what an effect yours has had upon me
already«
»Oh thats very pretty« replied the young lady tossing her head »but «
»Yes I know its very pretty« said the young man looking with an air of
admiration in the barmaids face »I said so you know just this moment But
beauty should be spoken of respectfully respectfully and in proper terms and
with a becoming sense of its worth and excellence whereas this fellow has no
more notion «
The young lady interrupted the conversation at this point by thrusting her
head out of the barwindow and inquiring of the waiter in a shrill voice
whether that young man who had been knocked down was going to stand in the
passage all night or whether the entrance was to be left clear for other
people The waiters taking the hint and communicating it to the hostlers were
not slow to change their tone too and the result was that the unfortunate
victim was bundled out in a twinkling
»I am sure I have seen that fellow before« said Nicholas
»Indeed« replied his new acquaintance
»I am certain of it« said Nicholas pausing to reflect »Where can I have
stop yes to be sure he belongs to a registeroffice up at the west end of
the town I knew I recollected the face«
It was indeed Tom the ugly clerk
»Thats odd enough« said Nicholas ruminating upon the strange manner in
which that registeroffice seemed to start up and stare him in the face every
now and then and when he least expected it
»I am much obliged to you for your kind advocacy of my cause when it most
needed an advocate« said the young man laughing and drawing a card from his
pocket »Perhaps youll do me the favour to let me know where I can thank you«
Nicholas took the card and glancing at it involuntarily as he returned the
compliment evinced very great surprise »Mr Frank Cheeryble« said Nicholas
»Surely not the nephew of Cheeryble Brothers who is expected tomorrow«
»I dont usually call myself the nephew of the firm« returned Mr Frank
goodhumouredly »but of the two excellent individuals who compose it I am
proud to say I am the nephew And you I see are Mr Nickleby of whom I have
heard so much This is a most unexpected meeting but not the less welcome I
assure you«
Nicholas responded to these compliments with others of the same kind and
they shook hands warmly Then he introduced John Browdie who had remained in a
state of great admiration ever since the young lady in the bar had been so
skilfully won over to the right side Then Mrs John Browdie was introduced and
finally they all went up stairs together and spent the next half hour with great
satisfaction and mutual entertainment Mrs John Browdie beginning the
conversation by declaring that of all the madeup things she ever saw that
young woman below stairs was the vainest and the plainest
This Mr Frank Cheeryble although to judge from what had recently taken
place a hotheaded young man which is not an absolute miracle and phenomenon
in nature) was a sprightly goodhumoured pleasant fellow with much both in
his countenance and disposition that reminded Nicholas very strongly of the
kindhearted brothers His manner was as unaffected as theirs and his demeanour
full of that heartiness which to most people who have anything generous in
their composition is peculiarly prepossessing Add to this that he was
goodlooking and intelligent had a plentiful share of vivacity was extremely
cheerful and accommodated himself in five minutes time to all John Browdies
oddities with as much ease as if he had known him from a boy and it will be a
source of no great wonder that when they parted for the night he had produced a
most favourable impression not only upon the worthy Yorkshireman and his wife
but upon Nicholas also who revolving all these things in his mind as he made
the best of his way home arrived at the conclusion that he had laid the
foundation of a most agreeable and desirable acquaintance
»But its a most extraordinary thing about that registeroffice fellow«
thought Nicholas »Is it likely that this nephew can know anything about that
beautiful girl When Tim Linkinwater gave me to understand the other day that he
was coming to take a share in the business here he said he had been
superintending it in Germany for four years and that during the last six months
he had been engaged in establishing an agency in the north of England Thats
four years and a half four years and a half She cant be more than seventeen
say eighteen at the outside She was quite a child when he went away then I
should say he knew nothing about her and had never seen her so he can give no
information At all events« thought Nicholas coming to the real point in his
mind »there can be no danger of any prior occupation of her affections in that
quarter thats quite clear«
Is selfishness a necessary ingredient in the composition of that passion
called love or does it deserve all the fine things which poets in the exercise
of their undoubted vocation have said of it There are no doubt authenticated
instances of gentlemen having given up ladies and ladies having given up
gentlemen to meritorious rivals under circumstances of great highmindedness
but is it quite established that the majority of such ladies and gentlemen have
not made a virtue of necessity and nobly resigned what was beyond their reach
as a private soldier might register a vow never to accept the order of the
Garter or a poor curate of great piety and learning but of no family save a
very large family of children might renounce a bishopric
Here was Nicholas Nickleby who would have scorned the thought of counting
how the chances stood of his rising in favour or fortune with the brothers
Cheeryble now that their nephew had returned already deep in calculations
whether that same nephew was likely to rival him in the affections of the fair
unknown discussing the matter with himself too as gravely as if with that
one exception it were all settled and recurring to the subject again and
again and feeling quite indignant and illused at the notion of anybody else
making love to one with whom he had never exchanged a word in all his life To
be sure he exaggerated rather than depreciated the merits of his new
acquaintance but still he took it as a kind of personal offence that he should
have any merits at all in the eyes of this particular young lady that is for
elsewhere he was quite welcome to have as many as he pleased There was
undoubted selfishness in all this and yet Nicholas was of a most free and
generous nature with as few mean or sordid thoughts perhaps as ever fell to
the lot of any man and there is no reason to suppose that being in love he
felt and thought differently from other people in the like sublime condition
He did not stop to set on foot an inquiry into his train of thought or state
of feeling however but went thinking on all the way home and continued to
dream on in the same strain all night For having satisfied himself that Frank
Cheeryble could have no knowledge of or acquaintance with the mysterious young
lady it began to occur to him that even he himself might never see her again
upon which hypothesis he built up a very ingenious succession of tormenting
ideas which answered his purpose even better than the vision of Mr Frank
Cheeryble and tantalized and worried him waking and sleeping
Notwithstanding all that has been said and sung to the contrary there is no
wellestablished case of morning having either deferred or hastened its approach
by the term of an hour or so for the mere gratification of a splenetic feeling
against some unoffending lover the sun having in the discharge of his public
duty as the books of precedent report invariably risen according to the
almanacks and without suffering himself to be swayed by any private
considerations So morning came as usual and with it businesshours and with
them Mr Frank Cheeryble and with him a long train of smiles and welcomes from
the worthy brothers and a more grave and clerklike but scarcely less hearty
reception from Mr Timothy Linkinwater
»That Mr Frank and Mr Nickleby should have met last night« said Tim
Linkinwater getting slowly off his stool and looking round the countinghouse
with his back planted against the desk as was his custom when he had anything
very particular to say »that those two young men should have met last night in
that manner is I say a coincidence a remarkable coincidence Why I dont
believe now« added Tim taking off his spectacles and smiling as with gentle
pride »that theres such a place in all the world for coincidences as London
is«
»I dont know about that« said Mr Frank »but «
»Dont know about it Mr Francis« interrupted Tim with an obstinate air
»Well but let us know If there is any better place for such things where is
it Is it in Europe No that it isnt Is it in Asia Why of course its not
Is it in Africa Not a bit of it Is it in America You know better than that
at all events Well then« said Tim folding his arms resolutely »where is
it«
»I was not about to dispute the point Tim« said young Cheeryble laughing
»I am not such a heretic as that All I was going to say was that I hold myself
under an obligation to the coincidence thats all«
»Oh if you dont dispute it« said Tim quite satisfied »thats another
thing Ill tell you what though I wish you had I wish you or anybody would I
would so put that man down« said Tim tapping the forefinger of his left hand
emphatically with his spectacles »so put that man down by argument «
It was quite impossible to find language to express the degree of mental
prostration to which such an adventurous wight would be reduced in the keen
encounter with Tim Linkinwater so Tim gave up the rest of his declaration in
pure lack of words and mounted his stool again
»We may consider ourselves brother Ned« said Charles after he had patted
Tim Linkinwater approvingly on the back »very fortunate in having two such
young men about us as our nephew Frank and Mr Nickleby It should be a source
of great satisfaction and pleasure to us«
»Certainly Charles certainly« returned the other
»Of Tim« added brother Ned »I say nothing whatever because Tim is a mere
child an infant a nobody that we never think of or take into account at all
Tim you villain what do you say to that sir«
»I am jealous of both of em« said Tim »and mean to look out for another
situation so provide yourselves gentlemen if you please«
Tim thought this such an exquisite unparalleled and most extraordinary
joke that he laid his pen upon the inkstand and rather tumbling off his stool
than getting down with his usual deliberation laughed till he was quite faint
shaking his head all the time so that little particles of powder flew palpably
about the office Nor were the brothers at all behindhand for they laughed
almost as heartily at the ludicrous idea of any voluntary separation between
themselves and old Tim Nicholas and Mr Frank laughed quite boisterously
perhaps to conceal some other emotion awakened by this little incident and so
indeed did the three old fellows after the first burst so perhaps there was
as much keen enjoyment and relish in that laugh altogether as the politest
assembly ever derived from the most poignant witticism uttered at any one
persons expense
»Mr Nickleby« said brother Charles calling him aside and taking him
kindly by the hand »I I am anxious my dear sir to see that you are
properly and comfortably settled in the cottage We cannot allow those who serve
us well to labour under any privation or discomfort that it is in our power to
remove I wish too to see your mother and sister to know them Mr Nickleby
and have an opportunity of relieving their minds by assuring them that any
trifling service we have been able to do them is a great deal more than repaid
by the zeal and ardour you display Not a word my dear sir I beg Tomorrow
is Sunday I shall make bold to come out at teatime and take the chance of
finding you at home if you are not you know or the ladies should feel a
delicacy in being intruded on and would rather not be known to me just now why
I can come again another time any other time would do for me Let it remain
upon that understanding Brother Ned my dear fellow let me have a word with
you this way«
The twins went out of the office arm in arm and Nicholas who saw in this
act of kindness and many others of which he had been the subject that morning
only so many delicate renewals on the arrival of their nephew of the kind
assurances which the brothers had given him in his absence could scarcely feel
sufficient admiration and gratitude for such extraordinary consideration
The intelligence that they were to have a visitor and such a visitor
next day awakened in the breast of Mrs Nickleby mingled feelings of exultation
and regret for whereas on the one hand she hailed it as an omen of her speedy
restoration to good society and the almostforgotten pleasures of morning calls
and evening teadrinkings she could not on the other but reflect with
bitterness of spirit on the absence of a silver teapot with an ivory knob on the
lid and a milkjug to match which had been the pride of her heart in days of
yore and had been kept from years end to years end wrapped up in washleather
on a certain top shelf which now presented itself in lively colours to her
sorrowing imagination
»I wonder whos got that spicebox« said Mrs Nickleby shaking her head
»It used to stand in the lefthand corner next but two to the pickled onions
You remember that spicebox Kate«
»Perfectly well mama«
»I shouldnt think you did Kate« returned Mrs Nickleby in a severe
manner »talking about it in that cold and unfeeling way If there is any one
thing that vexes me in these losses more than the losses themselves I do
protest and declare« said Mrs Nickleby rubbing her nose with an impassioned
air »that it is to have people about me who take things with such provoking
calmness«
»My dear mama« said Kate stealing her arm round her mothers neck »why do
you say what I know you cannot seriously mean or think or why be angry with me
for being happy and content You and Nicholas are left to me we are together
once again and what regard can I have for a few trifling things of which we
never feel the want When I have seen all the misery and desolation that death
can bring and known the lonesome feeling of being solitary and alone in crowds
and all the agony of separation in grief and poverty when we most needed comfort
and support from each other can you wonder that I look upon this as a place of
such delicious quiet and rest that with you beside me I have nothing to wish
for or regret There was a time and not long since when all the comforts of
our old home did come back upon me I own very often oftener than you would
think perhaps but I affected to care nothing for them in the hope that you
would so be brought to regret them less I was not insensible indeed I might
have felt happier if I had been Dear mama« said Kate in great agitation »I
know no difference between this home and that in which we were all so happy for
so many years except that the kindest and gentlest heart that ever ached on
earth has passed in peace to heaven«
»Kate my dear Kate« cried Mrs Nickleby folding her in her arms
»I have so often thought« sobbed Kate »of all his kind words of the last
time he looked into my little room as he passed up stairs to bed and said God
bless you darling There was a paleness in his face mama the broken heart
I know it was I little thought so then «
A gush of tears came to her relief and Kate laid her head upon her mothers
breast and wept like a little child
It is an exquisite and beautiful thing in our nature that when the heart is
touched and softened by some tranquil happiness or affectionate feeling the
memory of the dead comes over it most powerfully and irresistibly It would
almost seem as though our better thoughts and sympathies were charms in virtue
of which the soul is enabled to hold some vague and mysterious intercourse with
the spirits of those whom we dearly loved in life Alas how often and how long
may those patient angels hover above us watching for the spell which is so
seldom uttered and so soon forgotten
Poor Mrs Nickleby accustomed to give ready utterance to whatever came
uppermost in her mind had never conceived the possibility of her daughters
dwelling upon these thoughts in secret the more especially as no hard trial or
querulous reproach had ever drawn them from her But now when the happiness of
all that Nicholas had just told them and of their new and peaceful life
brought these recollections so strongly upon Kate that she could not suppress
them Mrs Nickleby began to have a glimmering that she had been rather
thoughtless now and then and was conscious of something like selfreproach as
she embraced her daughter and yielded to the emotions which such a conversation
naturally awakened
There was a mighty bustle that night and a vast quantity of preparation for
the expected visitor and a very large nosegay was brought from a gardeners
hard by and cut up into a number of very small ones with which Mrs Nickleby
would have garnished the little sittingroom in a style that certainly could
not have failed to attract anybodys attention if Kate had not offered to spare
her the trouble and arranged them in the prettiest and neatest manner possible
If the cottage ever looked pretty it must have been on such a bright and
sunshiny day as the next day was But Smikes pride in the garden or Mrs
Nicklebys in the condition of the furniture or Kates in everything was
nothing to the pride with which Nicholas looked at Kate herself and surely the
costliest mansion in all England might have found in her beautiful face and
graceful form its most exquisite and peerless ornament
About six oclock in the afternoon Mrs Nickleby was thrown into a great
flutter of spirits by the longexpected knock at the door nor was this flutter
at all composed by the audible tread of two pairs of boots in the passage which
Mrs Nickleby augured in a breathless state must be the two Mr Cheerybles as
it certainly was though not the two Mrs Nickleby expected because it was Mr
Charles Cheeryble and his nephew Mr Frank who made a thousand apologies for
his intrusion which Mrs Nickleby having teaspoons enough and to spare for
all most graciously received Nor did the appearance of this unexpected visitor
occasion the least embarrassment save in Kate and that only to the extent of a
blush or two at first for the old gentleman was so kind and cordial and the
young gentleman imitated him in this respect so well that the usual stiffness
and formality of a first meeting showed no signs of appearing and Kate really
more than once detected herself in the very act of wondering when it was going
to begin
At the teatable there was plenty of conversation on a great variety of
subjects nor were there wanting jocose matters of discussion such as they
were for young Mr Cheerybles recent stay in Germany happening to be alluded
to old Mr Cheeryble informed the company that the aforesaid young Mr
Cheeryble was suspected to have fallen deeply in love with the daughter of a
certain German burgomaster This accusation young Mr Cheeryble most indignantly
repelled upon which Mrs Nickleby slily remarked that she suspected from the
very warmth of the denial there must be something in it Young Mr Cheeryble
then earnestly entreated old Mr Cheeryble to confess that it was all a jest
which old Mr Cheeryble at last did young Mr Cheeryble being so much in
earnest about it that as Mrs Nickleby said many thousand times afterwards in
recalling the scene he quite coloured which she rightly considered a
memorable circumstance and one worthy of remark young men not being as a class
remarkable for modesty or selfdenial especially when there is a lady in the
case when if they colour at all it is rather their practice to colour the
story and not themselves
After tea there was a walk in the garden and the evening being very fine
they strolled out at the garden gate into some lanes and byeroads and
sauntered up and down until it grew quite dark The time seemed to pass very
quickly with all the party Kate went first leaning upon her brothers arm and
talking with him and Mr Frank Cheeryble and Mrs Nickleby and the elder
gentleman followed at a short distance the kindness of the good merchant his
interest in the welfare of Nicholas and his admiration of Kate so operating
upon the good ladys feelings that the usual current of her speech was confined
within very narrow and circumscribed limits Smike who if he had ever been an
object of interest in his life had been one that day accompanied them joining
sometimes one group and sometimes the other as brother Charles laying his hand
upon his shoulder bade him walk with him or Nicholas looking smilingly round
beckoned him to come and talk with the old friend who understood him best and
who could win a smile into his careworn face when none else could
Pride is one of the seven deadly sins but it cannot be the pride of a
mother in her children for that is a compound of two cardinal virtues faith
and hope This was the pride which swelled Mrs Nicklebys heart that night and
this it was which left upon her face glistening in the light when they returned
home traces of the most grateful tears she had ever shed
There was a quiet mirth about the little supper which harmonized exactly
with this tone of feeling and at length the two gentlemen took their leave
There was one circumstance in the leavetaking which occasioned a vast deal of
smiling and pleasantry and that was that Mr Frank Cheeryble offered his hand
to Kate twice over quite forgetting that he had bade her adieu already This
was held by the elder Mr Cheeryble to be a convincing proof that he was
thinking of his German flame and the jest occasioned immense laughter So easy
is it to move light hearts
In short it was a day of serene and tranquil happiness and as we all have
some bright day many of us let us hope among a crowd of others to which we
revert with particular delight so this one was often looked back to afterwards
as holding a conspicuous place in the calendar of those who shared it
Was there one exception and that one he who needed to have been most happy
Who was that who in the silence of his own chamber sunk upon his knees to
pray as his first friend had taught him and folding his hands and stretching
them wildly in the air fell upon his face in a passion of bitter grief
Chapter XLIV
Mr Ralph Nickleby Cuts an Old Acquaintance It Would Also Appear from the
Contents Hereof that a Joke even Between Husband and Wife May Be Sometimes
Carried too Far
There are some men who living with the one object of enriching themselves no
matter by what means and being perfectly conscious of the baseness and
rascality of the means which they will use every day towards this end affect
nevertheless even to themselves a high tone of moral rectitude and shake
their heads and sigh over the depravity of the world Some of the craftiest
scoundrels that ever walked this earth or rather for walking implies at
least an erect position and the bearing of a man that ever crawled and crept
through life by its dirtiest and narrowest ways will gravely jot down in
diaries the events of every day and keep a regular debtor and creditor account
with Heaven which shall always show a floating balance in their own favour
Whether this is a gratuitous the only gratuitous part of the falsehood and
trickery of such mens lives or whether they really hope to cheat Heaven
itself, and lay up treasure in the next world by the same process which has
enabled them to lay up treasure in this not to question how it is so it is
And doubtless such bookkeeping like certain autobiographies which have
enlightened the world cannot fail to prove serviceable in the one respect of
sparing the recording Angel some time and labour
Ralph Nickleby was not a man of this stamp Stern unyielding dogged and
impenetrable Ralph cared for nothing in life or beyond it save the
gratification of two passions avarice the first and predominant appetite of
his nature and hatred the second Affecting to consider himself but a type of
all humanity he was at little pains to conceal his true character from the
world in general and in his own heart he exulted over and cherished every bad
design as it had birth The only scriptural admonition that Ralph Nickleby
heeded in the letter was know thyself He knew himself well and choosing to
imagine that all mankind were cast in the same mould hated them for though no
man hates himself the coldest among us having too much selflove for that yet
most men unconsciously judge the world from themselves and it will be very
generally found that those who sneer habitually at human nature and affect to
despise it are among its worst and least pleasant samples
But the present business of these adventures is with Ralph himself who
stood regarding Newman Noggs with a heavy frown while that worthy took off his
fingerless gloves and spreading them carefully on the palm of his left hand
and flattening them with his right to take the creases out proceeded to roll
them up with an absent air as if he were utterly regardless of all things else
in the deep interest of the ceremonial
»Gone out of town« said Ralph slowly »A mistake of yours Go back again«
»No mistake« returned Newman »Not even going gone«
»Has he turned girl or baby« muttered Ralph with a fretful gesture
»I dont know« said Newman »but hes gone«
The repetition of the word gone seemed to afford Newman Noggs
inexpressible delight in proportion as it annoyed Ralph Nickleby He uttered
the word with a full round emphasis dwelling upon it as long as he decently
could and when he could hold out no longer without attracting observation
stood gasping it to himself as if even that were a satisfaction
»And where has he gone« said Ralph
»France« replied Newman »Danger of another attack of erysipelas a worse
attack in the head So the doctors ordered him off And hes gone«
»And Lord Frederick « began Ralph
»Hes gone too« replied Newman
»And he carries his drubbing with him does he« said Ralph turning away
»pockets his bruises and sneaks off without the retaliation of a word or
seeking the smallest reparation«
»Hes too ill« said Newman
»Too ill« repeated Ralph »Why I would have it if I were dying in that
case I would only be the more determined to have it and that without delay I
mean if I were he But hes too ill Poor Sir Mulberry Too ill«
Uttering these words with supreme contempt and great irritation of manner
Ralph signed hastily to Newman to leave the room and throwing himself into his
chair beat his foot impatiently upon the ground
»There is some spell about that boy« said Ralph grinding his teeth
»Circumstances conspire to help him Talk of fortunes favours What is even
money to such Devils luck as this«
He thrust his hands impatiently into his pockets but notwithstanding his
previous reflection there was some consolation there for his face relaxed a
little and although there was still a deep frown upon the contracted brow it
was one of calculation and not of disappointment
»This Hawk will come back however« muttered Ralph »and if I know the man
and I should by this time his wrath will have lost nothing of its violence in
the meanwhile Obliged to live in retirement the monotony of a sickroom to a
man of his habits no life no drink no play nothing that he likes and
lives by He is not likely to forget his obligations to the cause of all this
Few men would but he of all others No no«
He smiled and shook his head and resting his chin upon his hand fell a
musing and smiled again After a time he rose and rang the bell
»That Mr Squeers has he been here« said Ralph
»He was here last night I left him here when I went home« returned Newman
»I know that fool do I not« said Ralph irascibly »Has he been here
since Was he here this morning«
»No« bawled Newman in a very loud key
»If he comes while I am out he is pretty sure to be here by nine tonight
let him wait And if theres another man with him as there will be
perhaps« said Ralph checking himself »let him wait too«
»Let em both wait« said Newman
»Ay« replied Ralph turning upon him with an angry look »Help me on with
this spencer and dont repeat after me like a croaking parrot«
»I wish I was a parrot« said Newman sulkily
»I wish you were« rejoined Ralph drawing his spencer on »Id have wrung
your neck long ago«
Newman returned no answer to this compliment but looked over Ralphs
shoulder for an instant he was adjusting the collar of the spencer behind
just then as if he were strongly disposed to tweak him by the nose Meeting
Ralphs eye however he suddenly recalled his wandering fingers and rubbed his
own red nose with a vehemence quite astonishing
Bestowing no further notice upon his eccentric follower than a threatening
look and an admonition to be careful and make no mistake Ralph took his hat
and gloves and walked out
He appeared to have a very extraordinary and miscellaneous connection and
very odd calls he made some at great rich houses and some at small poor
houses but all upon one subject money His face was a talisman to the porters
and servants of his more dashing clients and procured him ready admission
though he trudged on foot and others who were denied rattled to the door in
carriages Here he was all softness and cringing civility his step so light
that it scarcely produced a sound upon the thick carpets his voice so soft that
it was not audible beyond the person to whom it was addressed But in the poorer
habitations Ralph was another man his boots creaked on the passage floor as he
walked boldly in his voice was harsh and loud as he demanded the money that was
overdue his threats were coarse and angry With another class of customers
Ralph was again another man These were attorneys of more than doubtful
reputation who helped him to new business or raised fresh profits upon old
With them Ralph was familiar and jocose humorous upon the topics of the day
and especially pleasant upon bankruptcies and pecuniary difficulties that made
good for trade In short it would have been difficult to have recognised the
same man under these various aspects but for the bulky leather case full of
bills and notes which he drew from his pocket at every house and the constant
repetition of the same complaint varied only in tone and style of delivery
that the world thought him rich and that perhaps he might be if he had his own
but that there was no getting money in when it was once out either principal or
interest and it was a hard matter to live even to live from day to day
It was evening before a long round of such visits interrupted only by a
scanty dinner at an eatinghouse terminated at Pimlico and Ralph walked along
St Jamess Park on his way home
There were some deep schemes in his head as the puckered brow and
firmlyset mouth would have abundantly testified even if they had been
unaccompanied by a complete indifference to or unconsciousness of the objects
about him So complete was his abstraction however that Ralph usually as
quick as any man did not observe that he was followed by a shambling figure
which at one time stole behind him with noiseless footsteps at another crept a
few paces before him and at another glided along by his side at all times
regarding him with an eye so keen and a look so eager and attentive that it
was more like the expression of an intrusive face in some powerful picture or
strongly marked dream than the scrutiny even of a most interested and anxious
observer
The sky had been lowering and dark for some time and the commencement of a
violent storm of rain drove Ralph for shelter to a tree He was leaning against
it with folded arms still buried in thought when happening to raise his eyes
he suddenly met those of a man who creeping round the trunk peered into his
face with a searching look There was something in the usurers expression at
the moment which the man appeared to remember well for it decided him and
stepping close up to Ralph he pronounced his name
Astonished for the moment Ralph fell back a couple of paces and surveyed
him from head to foot A spare dark withered man of about his own age with a
stooping body and a very sinister face rendered more illfavoured by hollow and
hungry cheeks deeply sunburnt and thick black eyebrows blacker in contrast
with the perfect whiteness of his hair roughly clothed in shabby garments of a
strange and uncouth make and having about him an indefinable manner of
depression and degradation this for a moment was all he saw But he looked
again and the face and person seemed gradually to grow less strange to change
as he looked to subside and soften into lineaments that were familiar until at
last they resolved themselves as if by some strange optical illusion into
those of one whom he had known for many years and forgotten and lost sight of
for nearly as many more
The man saw that the recognition was mutual and beckoning to Ralph to take
his former place under the tree and not to stand in the falling rain of
which in his first surprise he had been quite regardless addressed him in a
hoarse faint tone
»You would hardly have known me from my voice I suppose Mr Nickleby« he
said
»No« returned Ralph bending a severe look upon him »Though there is
something in that that I remember now«
»There is little in me that you can call to mind as having been there eight
years ago I dare say« observed the other
»Quite enough« said Ralph carelessly and averting his face »More than
enough«
»If I had remained in doubt about you Mr Nickleby« said the other »this
reception and your manner would have decided me very soon«
»Did you expect any other« asked Ralph sharply
»No« said the man
»You were right« retorted Ralph »and as you feel no surprise need express
none«
»Mr Nickleby« said the man bluntly after a brief pause during which he
had seemed to struggle with an inclination to answer him by some reproach »will
you hear a few words that I have to say«
»I am obliged to wait here till the rain holds a little« said Ralph
looking abroad »If you talk sir I shall not put my fingers in my ears though
your talking may have as much effect as if I did«
»I was once in your confidence « thus his companion began Ralph looked
round and smiled involuntarily
»Well« said the other »as much in your confidence as you ever chose to let
anybody be«
»Ah« rejoined Ralph folding his arms »thats another thing quite another
thing«
»Dont let us play upon words Mr Nickleby in the name of humanity«
»Of what« said Ralph
»Of humanity« replied the other sternly »I am hungry and in want If the
change that you must see in me after so long an absence must see for I upon
whom it has come by slow and hard degrees see it and know it well will not
move you to pity let the knowledge that bread not the daily bread of the
Lords Prayer which as it is offered up in cities like this is understood to
include half the luxuries of the world for the rich and just as much coarse
food as will support life for the poor not that but bread a crust of dry
hard bread is beyond my reach today let that have some weight with you if
nothing else has«
»If this is the usual form in which you beg sir« said Ralph »you have
studied your part well but if you will take advice from one who knows something
of the world and its ways I should recommend a lower tone a little lower tone
or you stand a fair chance of being starved in good earnest«
As he said this Ralph clenched his left wrist tightly with his right hand
and inclining his head a little on one side and dropping his chin upon his
breast looked at him whom he addressed with a frowning sullen face The very
picture of a man whom nothing could move or soften
»Yesterday was my first day in London« said the old man glancing at his
travelstained dress and worn shoes
»It would have been better for you I think if it had been your last also«
replied Ralph
»I have been seeking you these two days where I thought you were most
likely to be found« resumed the other more humbly »and I met you here at last
when I had almost given up the hope of encountering you Mr Nickleby«
He seemed to wait for some reply but Ralph giving him none he continued
»I am a most miserable and wretched outcast nearly sixty years old and as
destitute and helpless as a child of six«
»I am sixty years old too« replied Ralph »and am neither destitute nor
helpless Work Dont make fine playacting speeches about bread but earn it«
»How« cried the other »Where Show me the means Will you give them to
me«
»I did once« replied Ralph composedly »you scarcely need ask me whether I
will again«
»Its twenty years ago or more« said the man in a suppressed voice
»since you and I fell out You remember that I claimed a share in the profits
of some business I brought to you and as I persisted you arrested me for an
old advance of ten pounds odd shillings including interest at fifty per cent
or so«
»I remember something of it« replied Ralph carelessly »What then«
»That didnt part us« said the man »I made submission being on the wrong
side of the bolts and bars and as you were not the made man then that you are
now you were glad enough to take back a clerk who wasnt over nice and who
knew something of the trade you drove«
»You begged and prayed and I consented« returned Ralph »That was kind of
me Perhaps I did want you I forget I should think I did or you would have
begged in vain You were useful not too honest not too delicate not too nice
of hand or heart but useful«
»Useful indeed« said the man »Come You had pinched and ground me down
for some years before that but I had served you faithfully up to that time in
spite of all your dogs usage Had I«
Ralph made no reply
»Had I« said the man again
»You had had your wages« rejoined Ralph »and had done your work We stood
on equal ground so far and could both cry quits«
»Then but not afterwards« said the other
»Not afterwards certainly nor even then for as you have just said you
owed me money and do still« replied Ralph
»Thats not all« said the man eagerly »Thats not all Mark that I
didnt forget that old sore trust me Partly in remembrance of that and partly
in the hope of making money some day by the scheme I took advantage of my
position about you and possessed myself of a hold upon you which you would
give half of all you have to know and never can know but through me I left
you long after that time remember and for some poor trickery that came
within the law but was nothing to what you moneymakers daily practise just
outside its bounds was sent away a convict for seven years I have returned
what you see me Now Mr Nickleby« said the man with a strange mixture of
humility and sense of power »what help and assistance will you give me what
bribe to speak out plainly My expectations are not monstrous but I must live
and to live I must eat and drink Money is on your side and hunger and thirst
are on mine You may drive an easy bargain«
»Is that all« said Ralph still eyeing his companion with the same steady
look and moving nothing but his lips
»It depends on you Mr Nickleby whether thats all or not« was the
rejoinder
»Why then harkye Mr I dont know by what name I am to call you« said
Ralph
»By my old one if you like«
»Why then harkye Mr Brooker« said Ralph in his harshest accents »and
dont expect to draw another speech from me Harkye sir I know you of old for
a ready scoundrel but you never had a stout heart and hard work with maybe
chains upon those legs of yours and shorter food than when I pinched and ground
you has blunted your wits or you would not come with such a tale as this to
me You a hold upon me Keep it or publish it to the world if you like«
»I cant do that« interposed Brooker »That wouldnt serve me«
»Wouldnt it« said Ralph »It will serve you as much as bringing it to me
I promise you To be plain with you I am a careful man and know my affairs
thoroughly I know the world and the world knows me Whatever you gleaned or
heard or saw when you served me the world knows and magnifies already You
could tell it nothing that would surprise it unless indeed it redounded to my
credit or honor and then it would scout you for a liar And yet I dont find
business slack or clients scrupulous Quite the contrary I am reviled or
threatened every day by one man or another« said Ralph »but things roll on
just the same and I dont grow poorer either«
»I neither revile nor threaten« rejoined the man »I can tell you of what
you have lost by my act what I only can restore and what if I die without
restoring dies with me and never can be regained«
»I tell my money pretty accurately and generally keep it in my own
custody« said Ralph »I look sharply after most men that I deal with and most
of all I looked sharply after you You are welcome to all you have kept from
me«
»Are those of your own name dear to you« said the man emphatically »If
they are «
»They are not« returned Ralph exasperated at this perseverance and the
thought of Nicholas which the last question awakened »They are not If you had
come as a common beggar I might have thrown a sixpence to you in remembrance of
the clever knave you used to be but since you try to palm these stale tricks
upon one you might have known better Ill not part with a halfpenny nor would
I to save you from rotting And remember this scapegallows« said Ralph
menacing him with his hand »that if we meet again and you so much as notice me
by one begging gesture you shall see the inside of a jail once more and
tighten this hold upon me in intervals of the hard labour that vagabonds are put
to Theres my answer to your trash Take it«
With a disdainful scowl at the object of his anger who met his eye but
uttered not a word Ralph walked away at his usual pace without manifesting the
slightest curiosity to see what became of his late companion or indeed once
looking behind him The man remained on the same spot with his eyes fixed upon
his retreating figure until it was lost to view and then drawing his arms about
his chest as if the damp and lack of food struck coldly to him lingered with
slouching steps by the wayside and begged of those who passed along
Ralph in nowise moved by what had lately passed further than as he had
already expressed himself walked deliberately on and turning out of the Park
and leaving Golden Square on his right took his way through some streets at the
west end of the town until he arrived in that particular one in which stood the
residence of Madame Mantalini The name of that lady no longer appeared on the
flaming doorplate that of Miss Knag being substituted in its stead but the
bonnets and dresses were still dimly visible in the firstfloor windows by the
decaying light of a summers evening and excepting this ostensible alteration
in the proprietorship the establishment wore its old appearance
»Humph« muttered Ralph drawing his hand across his mouth with a
connoisseurlike air and surveying the house from top to bottom »these people
look pretty well They cant last long but if I know of their going in good
time I am safe and a fair profit too I must keep them closely in view thats
all«
So nodding his head very complacently Ralph was leaving the spot when his
quick ear caught the sound of a confused noise and hubbub of voices mingled
with a great running up and down stairs in the very house which had been the
subject of his scrutiny and while he was hesitating whether to knock at the
door or listen at the keyhole a little longer a female servant of Madame
Mantalinis whom he had often seen opened it abruptly and bounced out with
her blue capribands streaming in the air
»Hallo here Stop« cried Ralph »Whats the matter Here am I Didnt you
hear me knock«
»Oh Mr Nickleby sir« said the girl »Go up for the love of Gracious
Masters been and done it again«
»Done what« said Ralph tartly »what dye mean«
»I knew he would if he was drove to it« cried the girl »I said so all
along«
»Come here you silly wench« said Ralph catching her by the wrist »and
dont carry family matters to the neighbours destroying the credit of the
establishment Come here do you hear me girl«
Without any further expostulation he led or rather pulled the frightened
handmaid into the house and shut the door then bidding her walk up stairs
before him followed without more ceremony
Guided by the noise of a great many voices all talking together and passing
the girl in his impatience before they had ascended many steps Ralph quickly
reached the private sittingroom when he was rather amazed by the confused and
inexplicable scene in which he suddenly found himself
There were all the younglady workers some with bonnets and some without
in various attitudes expressive of alarm and consternation some gathered round
Madame Mantalini who was in tears upon one chair and others round Miss Knag
who was in opposition tears upon another and others round Mr Mantalini who
was perhaps the most striking figure in the whole group for Mr Mantalinis
legs were extended at full length upon the floor and his head and shoulders
were supported by a very tall footman who didnt seem to know what to do with
them and Mr Mantalinis eyes were closed and his face was pale and his hair
was comparatively straight and his whiskers and moustache were limp and his
teeth were clenched and he had a little bottle in his right hand and a little
teaspoon in his left and his hands arms legs and shoulders were all stiff
and powerless And yet Madame Mantalini was not weeping upon the body but was
scolding violently upon her chair and all this amidst a clamour of tongues
perfectly deafening and which really appeared to have driven the unfortunate
footman to the utmost verge of distraction
»What is the matter here« said Ralph pressing forward
At this inquiry the clamour was increased twentyfold and an astounding
string of such shrill contradictions as »Hes poisoned himself« »He hasnt«
»Send for a doctor« »Dont« »Hes dying« »He isnt hes only pretending«
with various other cries poured forth with bewildering volubility until
Madame Mantalini was seen to address herself to Ralph when female curiosity to
know what she would say prevailed and as if by general consent a dead
silence unbroken by a single whisper instantaneously succeeded
»Mr Nickleby« said Madame Mantalini »by what chance you came here I
dont know«
Here a gurgling voice was heard to ejaculate as part of the wanderings of a
sick man the words »Demnition sweetness« But nobody heeded them except the
footman who being startled to hear such awful tones proceeding as it were
from between his very fingers dropped his masters head upon the floor with a
pretty loud crash and then without an effort to lift it up gazed upon the
bystanders as if he had done something rather clever than otherwise
»I will however« continued Madame Mantalini drying her eyes and speaking
with great indignation »say before you and before everybody here for the
first time and once for all that I never will supply that mans extravagances
and viciousness again I have been a dupe and a fool to him long enough In
future he shall support himself if he can and then he may spend what money he
pleases upon whom and how he pleases but it shall not be mine and therefore
you had better pause before you trust him further«
Thereupon Madame Mantalini quite unmoved by some most pathetic lamentations
on the part of her husband that the apothecary had not mixed the prussic acid
strong enough and that he must take another bottle or two to finish the work he
had in hand entered into a catalogue of that amiable gentlemans gallantries
deceptions extravagances and infidelities especially the last winding up
with a protest against being supposed to entertain the smallest remnant of
regard for him and adducing in proof of the altered state of her affections
the circumstance of his having poisoned himself in private no less than six
times within the last fortnight and her not having once interfered by word or
deed to save his life
»And I insist on being separated and left to myself« said Madame Mantalini
sobbing »If he dares to refuse me a separation Ill have one in law I can
and I hope this will be a warning to all girls who have seen this disgraceful
exhibition«
Miss Knag who was unquestionably the oldest girl in company said with
great solemnity that it would be a warning to her and so did the young ladies
generally with the exception of one or two who appeared to entertain doubts
whether such whiskers could do wrong
»Why do you say all this before so many listeners« said Ralph in a low
voice »You know you are not in earnest«
»I am in earnest« replied Madame Mantalini aloud and retreating toward
Miss Knag
»Well but consider« reasoned Ralph who had a great interest in the
matter »It would be well to reflect A married woman has no property«
»Not a solitary single individual dem my soul« said Mr Mantalini raising
himself upon his elbow
»I am quite aware of that« retorted Madame Mantalini tossing her head
»and I have none The business the stock this house and everything in it all
belong to Miss Knag«
»Thats quite true Madame Mantalini« said Miss Knag with whom her late
employer had secretly come to an amicable understanding on this point »Very
true indeed Madame Mantalini hem very true And I never was more glad in
all my life that I had strength of mind to resist matrimonial offers no matter
how advantageous than I am when I think of my present position as compared with
your most unfortunate and most undeserved one Madame Mantalini«
»Demmit« cried Mr Mantalini turning his head towards his wife »Will it
not slap and pinch the envious dowager that dares to reflect upon its own
delicious«
But the day of Mr Mantalinis blandishments had departed »Miss Knag sir«
said his wife »is my particular friend« and although Mr Mantalini leered till
his eyes seemed in danger of never coming back to their right places again
Madame Mantalini showed no signs of softening
To do the excellent Miss Knag justice she had been mainly instrumental in
bringing about this altered state of things for finding by daily experience
that there was no chance of the business thriving or even continuing to exist,
while Mr Mantalini had any hand in the expenditure and having now a
considerable interest in its welldoing she had sedulously applied herself to
the investigation of some little matters connected with that gentlemans private
character which she had so well elucidated and artfully imparted to Madame
Mantalini as to open her eyes more effectually than the closest and most
philosophical reasoning could have done in a series of years To which end the
accidental discovery by Miss Knag of some tender correspondence in which Madame
Mantalini was described as old and ordinary had most providentially
contributed
However notwithstanding her firmness Madame Mantalini wept very piteously
and as she leant upon Miss Knag and signed towards the door that young lady
and all the other young ladies with sympathising faces proceeded to bear her
out
»Nickleby« said Mr Mantalini in tears »you have been made a witness to
this demnition cruelty on the part of the demdest enslaver and captivater that
never was oh dem I forgive that woman«
»Forgive« repeated Madame Mantalini angrily
»I do forgive her Nickleby« said Mr Mantalini »You will blame me the
world will blame me the women will blame me everybody will laugh and scoff
and smile and grin most demnebly They will say She had a blessing She did
not know it He was too weak he was too good he was a demd fine fellow but
he loved too strong he could not bear her to be cross and call him wicked
names It was a demd case there never was a demder But I forgive her«
With this affecting speech Mr Mantalini fell down again very flat and lay
to all appearance without sense or motion until all the females had left the
room when he came cautiously into a sitting posture and confronted Ralph with
a very blank face and the little bottle still in one hand and the teaspoon in
the other
»You may put away those fooleries now and live by your wits again« said
Ralph coolly putting on his hat
»Demmit Nickleby youre not serious«
»I seldom joke« said Ralph »Good night«
»No but Nickleby« said Mantalini
»I am wrong perhaps« rejoined Ralph »I hope so You should know best
Good night«
Affecting not to hear his entreaties that he would stay and advise with him
Ralph left the crestfallen Mr Mantalini to his meditations and left the house
quietly
»Oho« he said »Sets the wind that way so soon Half knave and half fool
and detected in both characters I think your day is over sir«
As he said this he made some memorandum in his pocketbook in which Mr
Mantalinis name figured conspicuously and finding by his watch that it was
between nine and ten oclock made all speed home
»Are they here« was the first question he asked of Newman
Newman nodded »Been here halfanhour«
»Two of them One a fat sleek man«
»Ay« said Newman »In your room now«
»Good« rejoined Ralph »Get me a coach«
»A coach What you going to Eh« stammered Newman
Ralph angrily repeated his orders and Noggs who might well have been
excused for wondering at such an unusual and extraordinary circumstance for he
had never seen Ralph in a coach in his life departed on his errand and
presently returned with the conveyance
Into it went Mr Squeers and Ralph and the third man whom Newman Noggs
had never seen Newman stood upon the doorstep to see them off not troubling
himself to wonder where or upon what business they were going until he chanced
by mere accident to hear Ralph name the address whither the coachman was to
drive
Quick as lightning and in a state of the most extreme wonder Newman darted
into his little office for his hat and limped after the coach as if with the
intention of getting up behind but in this design he was balked for it had too
much the start of him and was soon hopelessly ahead leaving him gaping in the
empty street
»I dont know though« said Noggs stopping for breath »any good that I
could have done by going too He would have seen me if I had Drive there What
can come of this If I had only known it yesterday I could have told drive
there Theres mischief in it There must be«
His reflections were interrupted by a greyhaired man of a very remarkable
though far from prepossessing appearance who coming stealthily toward him
solicited relief
Newman still cogitating deeply turned away but the man followed him and
pressed him with such a tale of misery that Newman who might have been
considered a hopeless person to beg from and who had little enough to give
looked into his hat for some halfpence which he usually kept screwed up when he
had any in a corner of his pocket handkerchief
While he was busily untwisting the knot with his teeth the man said
something which attracted his attention whatever that something was it led to
something else in the end he and Newman walked away side by side the strange
man talking earnestly and Newman listening
Chapter XLV
Containing Matter of a Surprising Kind
»As we gang awa fra Lunnun tomorrow neeght and as I dinnot know that I was
eer so happy in a my days Misther Nickleby Ding but I will tak anoother
glass to our next merry meeting«
So said John Browdie rubbing his hands with great joyousness and looking
round him with a ruddy shining face quite in keeping with the declaration
The time at which John found himself in this enviable condition was the
same evening to which the last chapter bore reference the place was the
cottage and the assembled company were Nicholas Mrs Nickleby Mrs Browdie
Kate Nickleby and Smike
A very merry party they had been Mrs Nickleby knowing of her sons
obligations to the honest Yorkshireman had after some demur yielded her
consent to Mr and Mrs Browdie being invited out to tea in the way of which
arrangement there were at first sundry difficulties and obstacles arising out
of her not having had an opportunity of calling upon Mrs Browdie first for
although Mrs Nickleby very often observed with much complacency as most
punctilious people do that she had not an atom of pride or formality about
her still she was a great stickler for dignity and ceremonies and as it was
manifest that until a call had been made she could not be politely speaking
and according to the laws of society even cognizant of the fact of Mrs
Browdies existence she felt her situation to be one of peculiar delicacy and
difficulty
»The call must originate with me my dear« said Mrs Nickleby »thats
indispensable The fact is my dear that its necessary there should be a sort
of condescension on my part and that I should show this young person that I am
willing to take notice of her Theres a very respectablelooking young man«
added Mrs Nickleby after a short consideration »who is conductor to one of
the omnibuses that go by here and who wears a glazed hat your sister and I
have noticed him very often he has a wart upon his nose Kate you know
exactly like a gentlemans servant«
»Have all gentlemens servants warts upon their noses mother« asked
Nicholas
»Nicholas my dear how very absurd you are« returned his mother »of
course I mean that his glazed hat looks like a gentlemans servant and not the
wart upon his nose though even that is not so ridiculous as it may seem to you
for we had a footboy once who had not only a wart but a wen also and a very
large wen too and he demanded to have his wages raised in consequence because
he found it came very expensive Let me see what was I oh yes I know The
best way that I can think of would be to send a card and my compliments Ive
no doubt hed take em for a pot of porter by this young man to the Saracen
with Two Necks If the waiter took him for a gentlemans servant so much the
better Then all Mrs Browdie would have to do would be to send her card back
by the carrier he could easily come with a double knock and theres an end of
it«
»My dear mother« said Nicholas »I dont suppose such unsophisticated
people as these ever had a card of their own or ever will have«
»Oh that indeed Nicholas my dear« returned Mrs Nickleby »thats
another thing If you put it upon that ground why of course I have no more to
say than that I have no doubt they are very good sort of persons and that I
have no kind of objection to their coming here to tea if they like and shall
make a point of being very civil to them if they do«
The point being thus effectually set at rest and Mrs Nickleby duly placed
in the patronising and mildlycondescending position which became her rank and
matrimonial years Mr and Mrs Browdie were invited and came and as they were
very deferential to Mrs Nickleby and seemed to have a becoming appreciation of
her greatness and were very much pleased with everything the good lady had
more than once given Kate to understand in a whisper that she thought they
were the very bestmeaning people she had ever seen and perfectly well behaved
And thus it came to pass that John Browdie declared in the parlour after
supper to wit at twenty minutes before eleven oclock PM that he had never
been so happy in all his days
Nor was Mrs Browdie much behind her husband in this respect for that young
matron whose rustic beauty contrasted very prettily with the more delicate
loveliness of Kate and without suffering by the contrast either for each
served as it were to set off and decorate the other could not sufficiently
admire the gentle and winning manners of the young lady or the engaging
affability of the elder Then Kate had the art of turning the conversation to
subjects upon which the country girl bashful at first in strange company could
feel herself at home and if Mrs Nickleby was not quite so felicitous at times
in the selection of topics of discourse or if she did seem as Mrs Browdie
expressed it »rather high in her notions« still nothing could be kinder and
that she took considerable interest in the young couple was manifest from the
very long lectures on housewifery with which she was so obliging as to entertain
Mrs Browdies private ear which were illustrated by various references to the
domestic economy of the cottage in which those duties falling exclusively upon
Kate the good lady had about as much share either in theory or practice as
any one of the statues of the Twelve Apostles which embellish the exterior of
St Pauls Cathedral
»Mr Browdie« said Kate addressing his young wife »is the besthumoured
the kindest and heartiest creature I ever saw If I were oppressed with I dont
know how many cares it would make me happy only to look at him«
»He does seem indeed upon my word a most excellent creature Kate« said
Mrs Nickleby »most excellent And I am sure that at all times it will give me
pleasure really pleasure now to have you Mrs Browdie to see me in this
plain and homely manner We make no display« said Mrs Nickleby with an air
which seemed to insinuate that they could make a vast deal if they were so
disposed »no fuss no preparation I wouldnt allow it I said Kate my dear
you will only make Mrs Browdie feel uncomfortable and how very foolish and
inconsiderate that would be«
»I am very much obliged to you I am sure maam« returned Mrs Browdie
gratefully »Its nearly eleven oclock John I am afraid we are keeping you up
very late maam«
»Late« cried Mrs Nickleby with a sharp thin laugh and one little cough
at the end like a note of admiration expressed »This is quite early for us We
used to keep such hours Twelve one two three oclock was nothing to us
Balls dinners cardparties Never were such rakes as the people about where we
used to live I often think now I am sure that how we ever could go through
with it is quite astonishing and that is just the evil of having a large
connection and being a great deal sought after which I would recommend all
young married people steadily to resist though of course and its perfectly
clear and a very happy thing too I think that very few young married people
can be exposed to such temptations There was one family in particular that
used to live about a mile from us not straight down the road but turning
sharp off to the left by the turnpike where the Plymouth mail ran over the
donkey that were quite extraordinary people for giving the most extravagant
parties with artificial flowers and champagne and variegated lamps and in
short every delicacy of eating and drinking that the most singular epicure
could possibly require I dont think there ever were such people as those
Peltiroguses You remember the Peltiroguses Kate«
Kate saw that for the ease and comfort of the visitors it was high time to
stay this flood of recollection so answered that she entertained of the
Peltiroguses a most vivid and distinct remembrance and then said that Mr
Browdie had half promised early in the evening that he would sing a Yorkshire
song and that she was most impatient that he should redeem his promise because
she was sure it would afford her mama more amusement and pleasure than it was
possible to express
Mrs Nickleby confirming her daughter with the best possible grace for
there was patronage in that too and a kind of implication that she had a
discerning taste in such matters and was something of a critic John Browdie
proceeded to consider the words of some northcountry ditty and to take his
wifes recollection respecting the same This done he made divers ungainly
movements in his chair and singling out one particular fly on the ceiling from
the other flies there asleep fixed his eyes on him and began to roar a meek
sentiment supposed to be uttered by a gentle swain fast pining away with love
and despair in a voice of thunder
At the end of the first verse as though some person without had waited
until then to make himself audible was heard a loud and violent knocking at the
streetdoor so loud and so violent indeed that the ladies started as by one
accord and John Browdie stopped
»It must be some mistake« said Nicholas carelessly »We know nobody who
would come here at this hour«
Mrs Nickleby surmised however that perhaps the countinghouse was burnt
down or perhaps the Mr Cheerybles had sent to take Nicholas into partnership
which certainly appeared highly probable at that time of night or perhaps Mr
Linkinwater had run away with the property or perhaps Miss La Creevy was taken
ill or perhaps But a hasty exclamation from Kate stopped her abruptly in her
conjectures and Ralph Nickleby walked into the room
»Stay« said Ralph as Nicholas rose and Kate making her way towards him
threw herself upon his arm »Before that boy says a word hear me«
Nicholas bit his lip and shook his head in a threatening manner but
appeared for the moment unable to articulate a syllable Kate clung closer to
his arm Smike retreated behind them and John Browdie who had heard of Ralph
and appeared to have no great difficulty in recognising him stepped between the
old man and his young friend as if with the intention of preventing either of
them from advancing a step further
»Hear me I say« said Ralph »and not him«
»Say what thoust gotten to say then sir« retorted John »and tak care
thou dinnot put up angry bluid which thoudst betther try to quiet«
»I should know you« said Ralph »by your tongue and him« pointing to
Smike »by his looks«
»Dont speak to him« said Nicholas recovering his voice »I will not have
it I will not hear him I do not know that man I cannot breathe the air that
he corrupts His presence is an insult to my sister It is shame to see him I
will not bear it«
»Stand« cried John laying his heavy hand upon his chest
»Then let him instantly retire« said Nicholas struggling »I am not going
to lay hands upon him but he shall withdraw I will not have him here John
John Browdie is this my house am I a child If he stands there« cried
Nicholas burning with fury »looking so calmly upon those who know his black
and dastardly heart hell drive me mad«
To all these exclamations John Browdie answered not a word but he retained
his hold upon Nicholas and when he was silent again spoke
»Theres more to say and hear than thou thinkst for« said John »I tellee
I ha gotten scent o thot already Waat be that shadow ootside door there
Noo schoolmeasther show thyself mun dinnot be sheamefeaced Noo auld
genlman lets have schoolmeasther coom«
Hearing this adjuration Mr Squeers who had been lingering in the passage
until such time as it should be expedient for him to enter and he could appear
with effect was fain to present himself in a somewhat undignified and sneaking
way at which John Browdie laughed with such keen and heartfelt delight that
even Kate in all the pain anxiety and surprise of the scene and though the
tears were in her eyes felt a disposition to join him
»Have you done enjoying yourself sir« said Ralph at length
»Pratty nigh for the prasant time sir« replied John
»I can wait« said Ralph »Take your own time pray«
Ralph waited until there was a perfect silence and then turning to Mrs
Nickleby but directing an eager glance at Kate as if more anxious to watch his
effect upon her said
»Now maam listen to me I dont imagine that you were a party to a very
fine tirade of words sent me by that boy of yours because I dont believe that
under his control you have the slightest will of your own or that your advice
your opinion your wants your wishes anything which in nature and reason or
of what use is your great experience ought to weigh with him has the
slightest influence or weight whatever or is taken for a moment into account«
Mrs Nickleby shook her head and sighed as if there were a good deal in
that certainly
»For this reason« resumed Ralph »I address myself to you maam For this
reason partly and partly because I do not wish to be disgraced by the acts of
a vicious stripling whom I was obliged to disown and who afterwards in his
boyish majesty feigns to ha ha to disown me I present myself here
tonight I have another motive in coming a motive of humanity I come here«
said Ralph looking round with a biting and triumphant smile and gloating and
dwelling upon the words as if he were loath to lose the pleasure of saying them
»to restore a parent his child Ay sir« he continued bending eagerly forward
and addressing Nicholas as he marked the change of his countenance »to restore
a parent his child his son sir trepanned waylaid and guarded at every turn
by you with the base design of robbing him some day of any little wretched
pittance of which he might become possessed«
»In that you know you lie« said Nicholas proudly
»In this I know I speak the truth I have his father here« retorted Ralph
»Here« sneered Squeers stepping forward »Do you hear that Here Didnt I
tell you to be careful that his father didnt turn up and send him back to me
Why his fathers my friend hes to come back to me directly he is Now what
do you say eh now come what do you say to that ant you sorry you
took so much trouble for nothing ant you ant you«
»You bear upon your body certain marks I gave you« said Nicholas looking
quietly away »and may talk in acknowledgment of them as much as you please
Youll talk a long time before you rub them out Mr Squeers«
The estimable gentleman last named cast a hasty look at the table as if he
were prompted by this retort to throw a jug or bottle at the head of Nicholas
but he was interrupted in this design if such design he had by Ralph who
touching him on the elbow bade him tell the father that he might now appear and
claim his son
This being purely a labour of love Mr Squeers readily complied and
leaving the room for the purpose almost immediately returned supporting a
sleek personage with an oily face who bursting from him and giving to view
the form and face of Mr Snawley made straight up to Smike and tucking that
poor fellows head under his arm in a most uncouth and awkward embrace elevated
his broadbrimmed hat at arms length in the air as a token of devout
thanksgiving exclaiming meanwhile »How little did I think of this here joyful
meeting when I saw him last Oh how little did I think it«
»Be composed sir« said Ralph with a gruff expression of sympathy »you
have got him now«
»Got him Oh havent I got him Have I got him though« cried Mr Snawley
scarcely able to believe it »Yes here he is flesh and blood flesh and
blood«
»Vary little flesh« said John Browdie
Mr Snawley was too much occupied by his parental feelings to notice this
remark and to assure himself more completely of the restoration of his child
tucked his head under his arm again and kept it there
»What was it« said Snawley »that made me take such a strong interest in
him when that worthy instructor of youth brought him to my house What was it
that made me burn all over with a wish to chastise him severely for cutting away
from his best friends his pastors and masters«
»It was parental instinct sir« observed Squeers
»Thats what it was sir« rejoined Snawley »the elevated feeling the
feeling of the ancient Romans and Grecians and of the beasts of the field and
birds of the air with the exception of rabbits and tomcats which sometimes
devour their offspring My heart yearned towards him I could have I dont
know what I couldnt have done to him in the anger of a father«
»It only shows what Natur is sir« said Mr Squeers »Shes a rum un is
Natur«
»She is a holy thing sir« remarked Snawley
»I believe you« added Mr Squeers with a moral sigh »I should like to
know how we should ever get on without her Natur« said Mr Squeers solemnly
»is more easier conceived than described Oh what a blessed thing sir to be in
a state o natur«
Pending this philosophical discourse the bystanders had been quite
stupefied with amazement while Nicholas had looked keenly from Snawley to
Squeers and from Squeers to Ralph divided between his feelings of disgust
doubt and surprise At this juncture Smike escaping from his father fled to
Nicholas and implored him in most moving terms never to give him up but to
let him live and die beside him
»If you are this boys father« said Nicholas »look at the wreck he is and
tell me that you purpose to send him back to that loathsome den from which I
brought him«
»Scandal again« cried Squeers »Recollect You ant worth powder and shot
but Ill be even with you one way or another«
»Stop« interposed Ralph as Snawley was about to speak »Let us cut this
matter short and not bandy words here with hairbrained profligates This is
your son as you can prove And you Mr Squeers you know this boy to be the
same that was with you for so many years under the name of Smike Do you«
»Do I« returned Squeers »Dont I«
»Good« said Ralph »a very few words will be sufficient here You had a son
by your first wife Mr Snawley«
»I had« replied that person »and there he stands«
»Well show that presently« said Ralph »You and your wife were separated
and she had the boy to live with her when he was a year old You received a
communication from her when you had lived apart a year or two that the boy was
dead and you believed it«
»Of course I did« returned Snawley »Oh the joy of «
»Be rational sir pray« said Ralph »This is business and transports
interfere with it This wife died a year and a half ago or thereabouts not
more in some obscure place where she was housekeeper in a family Is that the
case«
»Thats the case« replied Snawley
»Having written on her deathbed a letter or confession to you about this
very boy which as it was not directed otherwise than in your name only
reached you and that by a circuitous course a few days since«
»Just so« said Snawley »Correct in every particular sir«
»And this confession« resumed Ralph »is to the effect that his death was
an invention of hers to wound you was a part of a system of annoyance in
short which you seem to have adopted towards each other that the boy lived
but was of weak imperfect intellect that she sent him by a trusty hand to a
cheap school in Yorkshire that she had paid for his education for some years
and then being poor and going a long way off gradually deserted him for
which she prayed forgiveness«
Snawley nodded his head and wiped his eyes the first slightly the last
violently
»The school was Mr Squeerss« continued Ralph »the boy was left there in
the name of Smike every description was fully given dates tally exactly with
Mr Squeerss books Mr Squeers is lodging with you at this time you have two
other boys at his school you communicated the whole discovery to him he
brought you to me as the person who had recommended to him the kidnapper of his
child and I brought you here Is that so«
»You talk like a good book sir thats got nothing in its inside but whats
the truth« replied Snawley
»This is your pocketbook« said Ralph producing one from his coat »the
certificates of your first marriage and of the boys birth and your wifes two
letters and every other paper that can support these statements directly or by
implication are here are they«
»Every one of em sir«
»And you dont object to their being looked at here so that these people
may be convinced of your power to substantiate your claim at once in law and
reason and you may resume your control over your own son without more delay Do
I understand you«
»I couldnt have understood myself better sir«
»There then« said Ralph tossing the pocketbook upon the table »Let them
see them if they like and as those are the original papers I should recommend
you to stand near while they are being examined or you may chance to lose
some«
With these words Ralph sat down unbidden and compressing his lips which
were for the moment slightly parted by a smile folded his arms and looked for
the first time at his nephew
Nicholas stung by the concluding taunt darted an indignant glance at him
but commanding himself as well as he could entered upon a close examination of
the documents at which John Browdie assisted There was nothing about them
which could be called in question The certificates were regularly signed as
extracts from the parish books the first letter had a genuine appearance of
having been written and preserved for some years the handwriting of the second
tallied with it exactly making proper allowance for its having been written by
a person in extremity and there were several other corroboratory scraps of
entries and memoranda which it was equally difficult to question
»Dear Nicholas« whispered Kate who had been looking anxiously over his
shoulder »can this be really the case Is this statement true«
»I fear it is« answered Nicholas »What say you John«
John scratched his head and shook it but said nothing at all
»You will observe maam« said Ralph addressing himself to Mrs Nickleby
»that this boy being a minor and not of strong mind we might have come here
tonight armed with the powers of the law and backed by a troop of its
myrmidons I should have done so maam unquestionably but for my regard for
the feelings of yourself and your daughter«
»You have shown your regard for her feelings well« said Nicholas drawing
his sister towards him
»Thank you« replied Ralph »Your praise sir is commendation indeed«
»Well« said Squeers »whats to be done Them hackneycoach horses will
catch cold if we dont think of moving theres one of em a sneezing now so
that he blows the street door right open Whats the order of the day Is Master
Snawley to come along with us«
»No no no« replied Smike drawing back and clinging to Nicholas »No
Pray no I will not go from you with him No no«
»This is a cruel thing« said Snawley looking to his friends for support
»Do parents bring children into the world for this«
»Do parents bring children into the world for thot« said John Browdie
bluntly pointing as he spoke to Squeers
»Never you mind« retorted that gentleman tapping his nose derisively
»Never I mind« said John »No nor never nobody mind sayst thou
schoolmeasther Its nobodys minding that keeps sike men as thou afloat Noo
then where best thou coomin to Dang it dinnot coom treadin ower me mun«
Suiting the action to the word John Browdie just jerked his elbow into the
chest of Mr Squeers who was advancing upon Smike with so much dexterity that
the schoolmaster reeled and staggered back upon Ralph Nickleby and being
unable to recover his balance knocked that gentleman off his chair and
stumbled heavily upon him
This accidental circumstance was the signal for some very decisive
proceedings In the midst of a great noise occasioned by the prayers and
entreaties of Smike the cries and exclamations of the women and the vehemence
of the men demonstrations were made of carrying off the lost son by violence
Squeers had actually begun to haul him out when Nicholas who until then had
been evidently undecided how to act took him by the collar and shaking him so
that such teeth as he had chattered in his head politely escorted him to the
room door and thrusting him into the passage shut it upon him
»Now« said Nicholas to the other two »have the kindness to follow your
friend«
»I want my son« said Snawley
»Your son« replied Nicholas »chooses for himself He chooses to remain
here and he shall«
»You wont give him up« said Snawley
»I would not give him up against his will to be the victim of such
brutality as that to which you would consign him« replied Nicholas »if he were
a dog or a rat«
»Knock that Nickleby down with a candlestick« cried Mr Squeers through
the keyhole »and bring out my hat somebody will you unless he wants to steal
it«
»I am very sorry indeed« said Mrs Nickleby who with Mrs Browdie had
stood crying and biting her fingers in a corner while Kate very pale but
perfectly quiet had kept as near her brother as she could »I am very sorry
indeed for all this I really dont know what would be best to do and thats
the truth Nicholas ought to be the best judge and I hope he is Of course
its a hard thing to have to keep other peoples children though young Mr
Snawley is certainly as useful and willing as its possible for anybody to be
but if it could be settled in any friendly manner if old Mr Snawley for
instance would settle to pay something certain for his board and lodging and
some fair arrangement was come to so that we undertook to have fish twice
aweek and a pudding twice or a dumpling or something of that sort I do
think that it might be very satisfactory and pleasant for all parties«
This compromise which was proposed with abundance of tears and sighs not
exactly meeting the point at issue nobody took any notice of it poor Mrs
Nickleby accordingly proceeded to enlighten Mrs Browdie upon the advantages of
such a scheme and the unhappy results flowing on all occasions from her not
being attended to when she proffered her advice
»You sir« said Snawley addressing the terrified Smike »are an unnatural
ungrateful unloveable boy You wont let me love you when I want to Wont you
come home wont you«
»No no no« cried Smike shrinking back
»He never loved nobody« bawled Squeers through the keyhole »He never
loved me he never loved Wackford who is next door but one to a cherubim How
can you expect that hell love his father Hell never love his father he
wont He dont know what it is to have a father He dont understand it It
ant in him«
Mr Snawley looked stedfastly at his son for a full minute and then
covering his eyes with his hand and once more raising his hat in the air
appeared deeply occupied in deploring his black ingratitude Then drawing his
arm across his eyes he picked up Mr Squeerss hat and taking it under one
arm and his own under the other walked slowly and sadly out
»Your romance sir« said Ralph lingering for a moment »is destroyed I
take it No unknown no persecuted descendant of a man of high degree the weak
imbecile son of a poor petty tradesman We shall see how your sympathy melts
before plain matter of fact.«
»You shall« said Nicholas motioning towards the door
»And trust me sir« added Ralph »that I never supposed you would give him
up tonight Pride obstinacy reputation for fine feeling were all against it
These must be brought down sir lowered crushed as they shall be soon The
protracted and wearing anxiety and expense of the law in its most oppressive
form its torture from hour to hour its weary days and sleepless nights with
these Ill prove you and break your haughty spirit strong as you deem it now
And when you make this house a hell and visit these trials upon yonder wretched
object as you will I know you and those who think you now a youngfledged
hero well go into old accounts between us two and see who stands the debtor
and comes out best at last even before the world«
Ralph Nickleby withdrew But Mr Squeers who had heard a portion of this
closing address and was by this time wound up to a pitch of impotent malignity
almost unprecedented could not refrain from returning to the parlourdoor and
actually cutting some dozen capers with various wry faces and hideous grimaces
expressive of his triumphant confidence in the downfall and defeat of Nicholas
Having concluded this wardance in which his short trousers and large boots
had borne a very conspicuous figure Mr Squeers followed his friends and the
family were left to meditate upon recent occurrences
Chapter XLVI
Throws Some Light Upon Nicholass Love but Whether for Good or Evil the Reader
Must Determine
After an anxious consideration of the painful and embarrassing position in which
he was placed Nicholas decided that he ought to lose no time in frankly stating
it to the kind brothers Availing himself of the first opportunity of being
alone with Mr Charles Cheeryble at the close of next day he accordingly
related Smikes little history and modestly but firmly expressed his hope that
the good old gentleman would under such circumstances as he described hold him
justified in adopting the extreme course of interfering between parent and
child and upholding the latter in his disobedience even though his horror and
dread of his father might seem and would doubtless be represented as a thing
so repulsive and unnatural as to render those who countenanced him in it fit
objects of general detestation and abhorrence
»So deeplyrooted does this horror of the man appear to be« said Nicholas
»that I can hardly believe he really is his son Nature does not seem to have
implanted in his breast one lingering feeling of affection for him and surely
she can never err«
»My dear sir« replied brother Charles »you fall into the very common
mistake of charging upon Nature matters with which she has not the smallest
connexion and for which she is in no way responsible Men talk of nature as an
abstract thing and lose sight of what is natural while they do so Here is a
poor lad who has never felt a parents care who has scarcely known anything all
his life but suffering and sorrow presented to a man who he is told is his
father and whose first act is to signify his intention of putting an end to his
short term of happiness of consigning him to his old fate and taking him from
the only friend he has ever had which is yourself If Nature in such a case
put into that lads breast but one secret prompting which urged him towards his
father and away from you she would be a liar and an idiot«
Nicholas was delighted to find that the old gentleman spoke so warmly and
in the hope that he might say something more to the same purpose made no reply
»The same mistake presents itself to me in one shape or other at every
turn« said brother Charles »Parents who never showed their love complain of
want of natural affection in their children children who never showed their
duty complain of want of natural feeling in their parents lawmakers who find
both so miserable that their affections have never had enough of lifes sun to
develop them are loud in their moralisings over parents and children too and
cry that the very ties of nature are disregarded Natural affections and
instincts my dear sir are the most beautiful of the Almightys works but like
other beautiful works of His they must be reared and fostered or it is as
natural that they should be wholly obscured and that new feelings should usurp
their place as it is that the sweetest productions of the earth left untended
should be choked with weeds and briars I wish we could be brought to consider
this and remembering natural obligations a little more at the right time talk
about them a little less at the wrong one«
After this brother Charles who had talked himself into a great heat
stopped to cool a little and then continued
»I dare say you are surprised my dear sir that I have listened to your
recital with so little astonishment That is easily explained Your uncle has
been here this morning«
Nicholas coloured and drew back a step or two
»Yes« said the old gentleman tapping his desk emphatically »here in this
room He would listen neither to reason feeling nor justice But brother Ned
was hard upon him brother Ned sir might have melted a pavingstone«
»He came to « said Nicholas
»To complain of you« returned brother Charles »to poison our ears with
calumnies and falsehoods but he came on a fruitless errand and went away with
some wholesome truths in his ear besides Brother Ned my dear Mr Nickleby
brother Ned sir is a perfect lion So is Tim Linkinwater Tim is quite a lion
We had Tim in to face him at first and Tim was at him sir before you could
say Jack Robinson«
»How can I ever thank you for all the deep obligations you impose upon me
every day« said Nicholas
»By keeping silence upon the subject my dear sir« returned brother
Charles »You shall be righted At least you shall not be wronged Nobody
belonging to you shall be wronged They shall not hurt a hair of your head or
the boys head or your mothers head or your sisters head I have said it
brother Ned has said it Tim Linkinwater has said it We have all said it and
well all do it I have seen the father if he is the father and I suppose he
must be He is a barbarian and a hypocrite Mr Nickleby I told him You are a
barbarian sir I did I said Youre a barbarian sir And Im glad of it I am
very glad I told him he was a barbarian very glad indeed«
By this time brother Charles was in such a very warm state of indignation
that Nicholas thought he might venture to put in a word but the moment he
essayed to do so Mr Cheeryble laid his hand softly upon his arm and pointed
to a chair
»The subject is at an end for the present« said the old gentleman wiping
his face »Dont revive it by a single word I am going to speak upon another
subject a confidential subject Mr Nickleby We must be cool again we must be
cool«
After two or three turns across the room he resumed his seat and drawing
his chair nearer to that on which Nicholas was seated said
»I am about to employ you my dear sir on a confidential and delicate
mission«
»You might employ many a more able messenger sir« said Nicholas »but a
more trustworthy or zealous one I may be bold to say you could not find«
»Of that I am well assured« returned brother Charles »well assured You
will give me credit for thinking so when I tell you that the object of this
mission is a young lady«
»A young lady sir« cried Nicholas quite trembling for the moment with his
eagerness to hear more
»A very beautiful young lady« said Mr Cheeryble gravely
»Pray go on sir« returned Nicholas
»I am thinking how to do so« said brother Charles sadly as it seemed to
his young friend and with an expression allied to pain »You accidentally saw a
young lady in this room one morning my dear sir in a fainting fit Do you
remember Perhaps you have forgotten«
»Oh no« replied Nicholas hurriedly »I I remember it very well
indeed«
»She is the lady I speak of« said brother Charles Like the famous parrot
Nicholas thought a great deal but was unable to utter a word
»She is the daughter« said Mr Cheeryble »of a lady who when she was a
beautiful girl herself and I was very many years younger I it seems a
strange word for me to utter now I loved very dearly You will smile perhaps
to hear a greyheaded man talk about such things You will not offend me for
when I was as young as you I dare say I should have done the same«
»I have no such inclination indeed« said Nicholas
»My dear brother Ned« continued Mr Cheeryble »was to have married her
sister but she died She is dead too now and has been for many years She
married her choice and I wish I could add that her afterlife was as happy as
God knows I ever prayed it might be«
A short silence intervened which Nicholas made no effort to break
»If trial and calamity had fallen as lightly on his head as in the deepest
truth of my own heart I ever hoped for her sake it would his life would have
been one of peace and happiness« said the old gentleman calmly »It will be
enough to say that this was not the case that she was not happy that they fell
into complicated distresses and difficulties that she came twelve months
before her death to appeal to my old friendship sadly changed sadly altered
broken spirited from suffering and illusage and almost brokenhearted He
readily availed himself of the money which to give her but one hours peace of
mind I would have poured out as freely as water nay he often sent her back
for more and yet even while he squandered it he made the very success of
these her applications to me the groundwork of cruel taunts and jeers
protesting that he knew she thought with bitter remorse of the choice she had
made that she had married him from motives of interest and vanity he was a gay
young man with great friends about him when she chose him for her husband and
venting in short upon her by every unjust and unkind means the bitterness of
that ruin and disappointment which had been brought about by his profligacy
alone In those times this young lady was a mere child I never saw her again
until that morning when you saw her also but my nephew Frank «
Nicholas started and indistinctly apologising for the interruption begged
his patron to proceed
» My nephew Frank I say« resumed Mr Cheeryble »encountered her by
accident and lost sight of her almost in a minute afterwards within two days
after he returned to England Her father lay in some secret place to avoid his
creditors reduced between sickness and poverty to the verge of death and
she a child we might almost think if we did not know the wisdom of all
Heavens decrees who should have blessed a better man was steadily braving
privation degradation and everything most terrible to such a young and
delicate creatures heart for the purpose of supporting him She was attended
sir« said brother Charles »in these reverses by one faithful creature who
had been in old times a poor kitchen wench in the family who was then their
solitary servant but who might have been for the truth and fidelity of her
heart who might have been ah the wife of Tim Linkinwater himself sir«
Pursuing this encomium upon the poor follower with such energy and relish as
no words can describe brother Charles leant back in his chair and delivered
the remainder of his relation with greater composure
It was in substance this That proudly resisting all offers of permanent aid
and support from her late mothers friends because they were made conditional
upon her quitting the wretched man her father who had no friends left and
shrinking with instinctive delicacy from appealing in their behalf to that true
and noble heart which he hated and had through its greatest and purest
goodness deeply wronged by misconstruction and ill report this young girl had
struggled alone and unassisted to maintain him by the labour of her hands That
through the utmost depths of poverty and affliction she had toiled never
turning aside for an instant from her task never wearied by the petulant gloom
of a sick man sustained by no consoling recollections of the past or hopes of
the future never repining for the comforts she had rejected or bewailing the
hard lot she had voluntarily incurred That every little accomplishment she had
acquired in happier days had been put into requisition for this purpose and
directed to this one end That for two long years toiling by day and often too
by night working at the needle the pencil and the pen and submitting as a
daily governess to such caprices and indignities as women with daughters too
too often love to inflict upon their own sex when they serve in such capacities
as though in jealousy of the superior intelligence which they are necessitated
to employ indignities in ninetynine cases out of every hundred heaped upon
persons immeasurably and incalculably their betters but outweighing in
comparison any that the most heartless blackleg would put upon his groom that
for two long years by dint of labouring in all these capacities and wearying in
none she had not succeeded in the sole aim and object of her life but that
overwhelmed by accumulated difficulties and disappointments she had been
compelled to seek out her mothers old friend and with a bursting heart to
confide in him at last
»If I had been poor« said brother Charles with sparkling eyes »If I had
been poor Mr Nickleby my dear sir which thank God I am not I would have
denied myself of course anybody would under such circumstances the commonest
necessaries of life to help her As it is the task is a difficult one If her
father were dead nothing could be easier for then she should share and cheer
the happiest home that brother Ned and I could have as if she were our child or
sister But he is still alive Nobody can help him that has been tried a
thousand times he was not abandoned by all without good cause I know«
»Cannot she be persuaded to « Nicholas hesitated when he had got thus far
»To leave him« said brother Charles »Who could entreat a child to desert
her parent Such entreaties limited to her seeing him occasionally have been
urged upon her not by me but always with the same result«
»Is he kind to her« said Nicholas »Does he requite her affection«
»True kindness considerate selfdenying kindness is not in his nature«
returned Mr Cheeryble »Such kindness as he knows he regards her with I
believe The mother was a gentle loving confiding creature and although he
wounded her from their marriage until her death as cruelly and wantonly as ever
man did she never ceased to love him She commended him on her deathbed to her
childs care Her child has never forgotten it and never will«
»Have you no influence over him« asked Nicholas
»I my dear sir The last man in the world Such is his jealousy and hatred
of me that if he knew his daughter had opened her heart to me he would render
her life miserable with his reproaches although this is the inconsistency and
selfishness of his character although if he knew that every penny she had
came from me he would not relinquish one personal desire that the most reckless
expenditure of her scanty stock could gratify«
»An unnatural scoundrel« said Nicholas indignantly
»We will use no harsh terms« said brother Charles in a gentle voice »but
will accommodate ourselves to the circumstances in which this young lady is
placed Such assistance as I have prevailed upon her to accept I have been
obliged at her own earnest request to dole out in the smallest portions lest
he finding how easily money was procured should squander it even more lightly
than he is accustomed to do She has come to and fro to and fro secretly and
by night to take even this and I cannot bear that things should go on in this
way Mr Nickleby I really cannot bear it«
Then it came out by little and little how that the twins had been revolving
in their good old heads manifold plans and schemes for helping this young lady
in the most delicate and considerate way and so that her father should not
suspect the source whence the aid was derived and how they had at last come to
the conclusion that the best course would be to make a feint of purchasing her
little drawings and ornamental work at a high price and keeping up a constant
demand for the same For the furtherance of which end and object it was
necessary that somebody should represent the dealer in such commodities and
after great deliberation they had pitched upon Nicholas to support this
character
»He knows me« said brother Charles »and he knows my brother Ned Neither
of us would do Frank is a very good fellow a very fine fellow but we are
afraid that he might be a little flighty and thoughtless in such a delicate
matter and that he might perhaps that he might in short be too susceptible
for she is a beautiful creature sir just what her poor mother was and
falling in love with her before he well knew his own mind carry pain and sorrow
into that innocent breast which we would be the humble instruments of gradually
making happy He took an extraordinary interest in her fortunes when he first
happened to encounter her And we gather from the inquiries we had made of him
that it was she in whose behalf he made that turmoil which led to your first
acquaintance«
Nicholas stammered out that he had before suspected the possibility of such
a thing and in explanation of its having occurred to him he described when and
where he had seen the young lady herself
»Well then you see« continued brother Charles »that he wouldnt do Tim
Linkinwater is out of the question for Tim sir is such a tremendous fellow
that he could never contain himself but would go to loggerheads with the father
before he had been in the place five minutes You dont know what Tim is sir
when he is roused by anything that appeals to his feelings very strongly then
he is terrific sir is Tim Linkinwater absolutely terrific Now in you we can
repose the strictest confidence in you we have seen or at least I have seen
and thats the same thing for theres no difference between me and my brother
Ned except that he is the finest creature that ever lived and that there is
not and never will be anybody like him in all the world in you we have seen
domestic virtues and affections and delicacy of feeling which exactly qualify
you for such an office And you are the man sir«
»The young lady sir« said Nicholas who felt so embarrassed that he had no
small difficulty in saying anything at all »Does is is she a party to this
innocent deceit«
»Yes yes« returned Mr Cheeryble »at least she knows you come from us
she does not know however but that we shall dispose of these little
productions which youll purchase from time to time and perhaps if you did it
very well that is very well indeed perhaps she might be brought to believe
that we that we made a profit of them Eh Eh«
In this guileless and most kind simplicity brother Charles was so happy
and in this possibility of the young lady being led to think that she was under
no obligation to him he evidently felt so sanguine and had so much delight
that Nicholas would not breathe a doubt upon the subject
All this time however there hovered upon the tip of his tongue a
confession that the very same objections which Mr Cheeryble had stated to the
employment of his nephew in this commission applied with at least equal force
and validity to himself and a hundred times had he been upon the point of
avowing the real state of his feelings and entreating to be released from it
But as often treading upon the heels of this impulse came another which urged
him to refrain and to keep his secret to his own breast »Why should I«
thought Nicholas »why should I throw difficulties in the way of this benevolent
and highminded design What if I do love and reverence this good and lovely
creature Should I not appear a most arrogant and shallow coxcomb if I gravely
represented that there was any danger of her falling in love with me Besides
have I no confidence in myself Am I not now bound in honor to repress these
thoughts Has not this excellent man a right to my best and heartiest services
and should any considerations of self deter me from rendering them«
Asking himself such questions as these Nicholas mentally answered with
great emphasis »No« and persuading himself that he was a most conscientious and
glorious martyr nobly resolved to do what if he had examined his own heart a
little more carefully he would have found he could not resist Such is the
sleight of hand by which we juggle with ourselves and change our very
weaknesses into most magnanimous virtues
Mr Cheeryble being of course wholly unsuspicious that such reflections
were presenting themselves to his young friend proceeded to give him the
needful credentials and directions for his first visit which was to be made
next morning all preliminaries being arranged and the strictest secrecy
enjoined Nicholas walked home for the night very thoughtfully indeed
The place to which Mr Cheeryble had directed him was a row of mean and not
overcleanly houses situated within the Rules of the Kings Bench Prison and
not many hundred paces distant from the obelisk in Saint Georges Fields The
Rules are a certain liberty adjoining the prison and comprising some dozen
streets in which debtors who can raise money to pay large fees from which their
creditors do not derive any benefit are permitted to reside by the wise
provisions of the same enlightened laws which leave the debtor who can raise no
money to starve in jail without the food clothing lodging or warmth which
are provided for felons convicted of the most atrocious crimes that can disgrace
humanity There are many pleasant fictions of the law in constant operation but
there is not one so pleasant or practically humorous as that which supposes
every man to be of equal value in its impartial eye and the benefits of all
laws to be equally attainable by all men without the smallest reference to the
furniture of their pockets
To the row of houses indicated to him by Mr Charles Cheeryble Nicholas
directed his steps without much troubling his head with such matters as these
and at this row of houses after traversing a very dirty and dusty suburb of
which minor theatricals shellfish gingerbeer spring vans greengrocery
and brokers shops appeared to compose the main and most prominent features
he at length arrived with a palpitating heart There were small gardens in front
which being wholly neglected in all other respects served as little pens for
the dust to collect in until the wind came round the corner and blew it down
the road Opening the rickety gate which dangling on its broken hinges before
one of these half admitted and half repulsed the visitor Nicholas knocked at
the street door with a faltering hand
It was in truth a shabby house outside with very dim parlour windows and
very small show of blinds and very dirty muslin curtains dangling across the
lower panes on very loose and limp strings Neither when the door was opened
did the inside appear to belie the outward promise as there was faded carpeting
on the stairs and faded oilcloth in the passage in addition to which
discomforts a gentleman Ruler was smoking hard in the front parlour though it
was not yet noon while the lady of the house was busily engaged in
turpentining the disjointed fragments of a tentbedstead at the door of the back
parlour as if in preparation for the reception of some new lodger who had been
fortunate enough to engage it
Nicholas had ample time to make these observations while the little boy who
went on errands for the lodgers clattered down the kitchen stairs and was heard
to scream as in some remote cellar for Miss Brays servant Who presently
appearing and requesting him to follow her caused him to evince greater
symptoms of nervousness and disorder than so natural a consequence of his having
inquired for that young lady would seem calculated to occasion
Up stairs he went however and into a front room he was shown and there
seated at a little table by the window on which were drawing materials with
which she was occupied sat the beautiful girl who had so engrossed his
thoughts and who surrounded by all the new and strong interest which Nicholas
attached to her story seemed now in his eyes a thousand times more beautiful
than he had ever yet supposed her
But how the graces and elegances which she had dispersed about the
poorlyfurnished room went to the heart of Nicholas Flowers plants birds
the harp the old piano whose notes had sounded so much sweeter in bygone times
how many struggles had it cost her to keep these two last links of that broken
chain which bound her yet to home With every slender ornament the occupation
of her leisure hours replete with that graceful charm which lingers in every
little tasteful work of womans hands how much patient endurance and how many
gentle affections were entwined He felt as though the smile of Heaven were on
the little chamber as though the beautiful devotion of so young and weak a
creature had shed a ray of its own on the inanimate things around and made
them beautiful as itself; as though the halo with which old painters surround
the bright angels of a sinless world played about a being akin in spirit to
them and its light were visibly before him
And yet Nicholas was in the Rules of the Kings Bench Prison If he had been
in Italy indeed and the time had been sunset and the scene a stately terrace
But there is one broad sky over all the world and whether it be blue or
cloudy the same Heaven beyond it so perhaps he had no need of compunction
for thinking as he did
It is not to be supposed that he took in everything at one glance for he
had as yet been unconscious of the presence of a sick man propped up with
pillows in an easy chair who moving restlessly and impatiently in his seat
attracted his attention
He was scarce fifty perhaps but so emaciated as to appear much older His
features presented the remains of a handsome countenance but one in which the
embers of strong and impetuous passions were easier to be traced than any
expression which would have rendered a far plainer face much more prepossessing
His looks were very haggard and his limbs and body literally worn to the bone
but there was something of the old fire in the large sunken eye notwithstanding
and it seemed to kindle afresh as he struck a thick stick with which he seemed
to have supported himself in his seat impatiently on the floor twice or thrice
and called his daughter by her name
»Madeline who is this What does anybody want here Who told a stranger we
could be seen What is it«
»I believe « the young lady began as she inclined her head with an air of
some confusion in reply to the salutation of Nicholas
»You always believe« returned her father petulantly »What is it«
By this time Nicholas had recovered sufficient presence of mind to speak for
himself so he said as it had been agreed he should say that he had called
about a pair of handscreens and some painted velvet for an ottoman both of
which were required to be of the most elegant design possible neither time nor
expense being of the smallest consideration He had also to pay for the two
drawings with many thanks and advancing to the little table he laid upon it
a bank note folded in an envelope and sealed
»See that the money is right Madeline« said the father »Open the paper
my dear«
»Its quite right papa Im sure«
»Here« said Mr Bray putting out his hand and opening and shutting his
bony fingers with irritable impatience »Let me see What are you talking about
Madeline Youre sure How can you be sure of any such thing Five pounds
well is that right«
»Quite« said Madeline bending over him She was so busily employed in
arranging the pillows that Nicholas could not see her face but as she stooped
he thought he saw a tear fall
»Ring the bell ring the bell« said the sick man with the same nervous
eagerness and motioning towards it with such a quivering hand that the bank
note rustled in the air »Tell her to get it changed to get me a newspaper to
buy me some grapes another bottle of the wine that I had last week and and
I forget half I want just now but she can go out again Let her get those
first those first Now Madeline my love quick quick Good God how slow you
are«
»He remembers nothing that she wants« thought Nicholas Perhaps something
of what he thought was expressed in his countenance for the sick man turning
towards him with great asperity demanded to know if he waited for a receipt
»It is no matter at all« said Nicholas
»No matter What do you mean sir« was the tart rejoinder »No matter Do
you think you bring your paltry money here as a favour or a gift or as a matter
of business and in return for value received Dn you sir because you cant
appreciate the time and taste which are bestowed upon the goods you deal in do
you think you give your money away Do you know that you are talking to a
gentleman sir who at one time could have bought up fifty such men as you and
all you have What do you mean«
»I merely mean that as I shall have many dealings with this lady if she
will kindly allow me I will not trouble her with such forms« said Nicholas
»Then I mean if you please that well have as many forms as we can«
returned the father »My daughter sir requires no kindness from you or anybody
else Have the goodness to confine your dealings strictly to trade and business
and not to travel beyond it Every petty tradesman is to begin to pity her now
is he Upon my soul Very pretty Madeline my dear give him a receipt and
mind you always do so«
While she was feigning to write it and Nicholas was ruminating upon the
extraordinary but by no means uncommon character thus presented to his
observation the invalid who appeared at times to suffer great bodily pain
sank back in his chair and moaned out a feeble complaint that the girl had been
gone an hour and that everybody conspired to goad him
»When« said Nicholas as he took the piece of paper »when shall I call
again«
This was addressed to the daughter but the father answered immediately
»When youre requested to call sir and not before Dont worry and
persecute Madeline my dear when is this person to call again«
»Oh not for a long time not for three or four weeks it is not necessary
indeed I can do without« said the young lady with great eagerness
»Why how are we to do without« urged her father not speaking above his
breath »Three or four weeks Madeline Three or four weeks«
»Then sooner sooner if you please« said the young lady turning to
Nicholas
»Three or four weeks« muttered the father »Madeline what on earth do
nothing for three or four weeks«
»It is a long time maam« said Nicholas
»You think so do you« retorted the father angrily »If I chose to beg
sir and stoop to ask assistance from people I despise three or four months
would not be a long time three or four years would not be a long time
Understand sir that is if I chose to be dependent but as I dont you may
call in a week«
Nicholas bowed low to the young lady and retired pondering upon Mr Brays
ideas of independence and devoutly hoping that there might be few such
independent spirits as he mingling with the baser clay of humanity
He heard a light footstep above him as he descended the stairs Looking
round he saw that the young lady was standing there and glancing timidly
towards him seemed to hesitate whether she should call him back or no The best
way of settling the question was to turn back at once which Nicholas did
»I dont know whether I do right in asking you sir« said Madeline
hurriedly »but pray pray do not mention to my poor mothers dear friends what
has passed here today He has suffered much and is worse this morning I beg
you sir as a boon a favour to myself«
»You have but to hint a wish« returned Nicholas fervently »and I would
hazard my life to gratify it«
»You speak hastily sir«
»Truly and sincerely« rejoined Nicholas his lips trembling as he formed
the words »if ever man spoke truly yet I am not skilled in disguising my
feelings and if I were I could not hide my heart from you Dear madam as I
know your history and feel as men and angels must who hear and see such things
I do entreat you to believe that I would die to serve you«
The young lady turned away her head and was plainly weeping
»Forgive me« said Nicholas with respectful earnestness »if I seem to say
too much or to presume upon the confidence which has been entrusted to me But
I could not leave you as if my interest and sympathy expired with the commission
of the day I am your faithful servant humbly devoted to you from this hour
devoted in strict truth and honor to him who sent me here and in pure integrity
of heart and distant respect for you If I meant more or less than this I
should be unworthy his regard and false to the nature that prompts the honest
words I utter«
She waved her hand entreating him to be gone but answered not a word
Nicholas could say no more and silently withdrew And thus ended his first
interview with Madeline Bray
Chapter XLVII
Mr Ralph Nickleby Has Some Confidential Intercourse with Another Old Friend
They Concert Between Them a Project which Promises Well for Both
»There go the three quarters past« muttered Newman Noggs listening to the
chimes of some neighbouring church »and my dinner times two He does it on
purpose He makes a point of it Its just like him«
It was in his own little den of an office and on the top of his official
stool that Newman thus soliloquised and the soliloquy referred as Newmans
grumbling soliloquies usually did to Ralph Nickleby
»I dont believe he ever had an appetite« said Newman »except for pounds
shillings and pence and with them hes as greedy as a wolf I should like to
have him compelled to swallow one of every English coin The penny would be an
awkward morsel but the crown ha ha«
His good humour being in some degree restored by the vision of Ralph
Nickleby swallowing perforce a fiveshillingpiece Newman slowly brought
forth from his desk one of those portable bottles currently known as
pocketpistols and shaking the same close to his ear so as to produce a
rippling sound very cool and pleasant to listen to suffered his features to
relax and took a gurgling drink which relaxed them still more Replacing the
cork he smacked his lips twice or thrice with an air of great relish and the
taste of the liquor having by this time evaporated recurred to his grievances
again
»Five minutes to three« growled Newman »it cant want more by this time
and I had my breakfast at eight oclock and such a breakfast and my right
dinner time is two And I might have a nice little bit of hot roast meat
spoiling at home all this time how does he know I havent Dont go till I
come back Dont go till I come back day after day What do you always go out
at my dinner time for then eh Dont you know its nothing but aggravation
eh«
These words though uttered in a very loud key were addressed to nothing
but empty air The recital of his wrongs however seemed to have the effect of
making Newman Noggs desperate for he flattened his old hat upon his head and
drawing on the everlasting gloves declared with great vehemence that come what
might he would go to dinner that very minute
Carrying this resolution into instant effect he had advanced as far as the
passage when the sound of the latchkey in the street door caused him to make a
precipitate retreat into his own office again
»Here he is« growled Newman »and somebody with him Now itll be Stop till
this gentlemans gone But I wont Thats flat«
So saying Newman slipped into a tall empty closet which opened with two
half doors and shut himself up intending to slip out directly Ralph was safe
inside his own room
»Noggs« cried Ralph »Where is that fellow Noggs«
But not a word said Newman
»The dog has gone to his dinner though I told him not« muttered Ralph
looking into the office and pulling out his watch »Humph You had better come
in here Gride My mans out and the sun is hot upon my room This is cool and
in the shade if you dont mind roughing it«
»Not at all Mr Nickleby oh not at all All places are alike to me sir
Ah very nice indeed Oh very nice«
The person who made this reply was a little old man of about seventy or
seventyfive years of age of a very lean figure much bent and slightly
twisted He wore a grey coat with a very narrow collar an oldfashioned
waistcoat of ribbed black silk and such scanty trowsers as displayed his
shrunken spindleshanks in their full ugliness The only articles of display or
ornament in his dress were a steel watch to which were attached some large
gold seals and a black ribbon into which in compliance with an old fashion
scarcely ever observed in these days his grey hair was gathered behind His
nose and chin were sharp and prominent his jaws had fallen inwards from loss of
teeth his face was shrivelled and yellow save where the cheeks were streaked
with the colour of a dry winter apple and where his beard had been there
lingered yet a few grey tufts which seemed like the ragged eyebrows to denote
the badness of the soil from which they sprung The whole air and attitude of
the form, was one of stealthy catlike obsequiousness the whole expression of
the face was concentrated in a wrinkled leer compounded of cunning
lecherousness slyness and avarice
Such was old Arthur Gride in whose face there was not a wrinkle in whose
dress there was not one spare fold or plait but expressed the most covetous and
griping penury and sufficiently indicated his belonging to that class of which
Ralph Nickleby was a member Such was old Arthur Gride as he sat in a low chair
looking up into the face of Ralph Nickleby who lounging on the tall office
stool with his arms upon his knees looked down into his a match for him on
whatever errand he had come
»And how have you been« said Gride feigning great interest in Ralphs
state of health »I havent seen you for oh not for «
»Not for a long time« said Ralph with a peculiar smile importing that he
very well knew it was not on a mere visit of compliment that his friend had
come »It was a narrow chance that you saw me now for I had only just come up
to the door as you turned the corner«
»I am very lucky« observed Gride
»So men say« replied Ralph drily
The older moneylender wagged his chin and smiled but he originated no new
remark and they sat for some little time without speaking Each was looking out
to take the other at a disadvantage
»Come Gride« said Ralph at length »whats in the wind today«
»Aha youre a bold man Mr Nickleby« cried the other apparently very
much relieved by Ralphs leading the way to business »Oh dear dear what a
bold man you are«
»Why you have a sleek and slinking way with you that makes me seem so by
contrast« returned Ralph »I dont know but that yours may answer better but I
want the patience for it«
»You were a born genius Mr Nickleby« said old Arthur »Deep deep deep
Ah«
»Deep enough« retorted Ralph »to know that I shall need all the depth I
have when men like you begin to compliment You know I have stood by when you
fawned and flattered other people and I remember pretty well what that always
led to«
»Ha ha ha« rejoined Arthur rubbing his hands »So you do so you do no
doubt Not a man knows it better Well its a pleasant thing now to think that
you remember old times Oh dear«
»Now then« said Ralph composedly »whats in the wind I ask again What
is it«
»See that now« cried the other »He cant even keep from business while
were chatting over bygones Oh dear dear what a man it is«
»Which of the bygones do you want to revive« said Ralph »One of them I
know or you wouldnt talk about them«
»He suspects even me« cried old Arthur holding up his hands »Even me Oh
dear even me What a man it is Ha ha ha What a man it is Mr Nickleby
against all the world Theres nobody like him A giant among pigmies a giant
a giant«
Ralph looked at the old dog with a quiet smile as he chuckled on in this
strain and Newman Noggs in the closet felt his heart sink within him as the
prospect of dinner grew fainter and fainter
»I must humour him though« cried old Arthur »he must have his way a
wilful man as the Scotch say well well theyre a wise people the Scotch
He will talk about business and wont give away his time for nothing Hes very
right Time is money time is money«
»He was one of us who made that saying I should think« said Ralph »Time
is money and very good money too to those who reckon interest by it Time is
money Yes and time costs money its rather an expensive article to some
people we could name or I forget my trade«
In rejoinder to this sally old Arthur again raised his hands again
chuckled and again ejaculated »What a man it is« which done he dragged the
low chair a little nearer to Ralphs high stool and looking upwards into his
immovable face said
»What would you say to me if I was to tell you that I was that I was
going to be married«
»I should tell you« replied Ralph looking coldly down upon him »that for
some purpose of your own you told a lie and that it wasnt the first time and
wouldnt be the last that I wasnt surprised and wasnt to be taken in«
»Then I tell you seriously that I am« said old Arthur
»And I tell you seriously« rejoined Ralph »what I told you this minute
Stay Let me look at you Theres a liquorish devilry in your face What is
this«
»I wouldnt deceive you you know« whined Arthur Gride »I couldnt do it
I should be mad to try I I to deceive Mr Nickleby The pigmy to impose upon
the giant I ask again he he he what should you say to me if I was to
tell you that I was going to be married«
»To some old hag« said Ralph
»No no« cried Arthur interrupting him and rubbing his hands in an
ecstacy »Wrong wrong again Mr Nickleby for once at fault out quite out To
a young and beautiful girl fresh lovely bewitching and not nineteen Dark
eyes long eyelashes ripe and ruddy lips that to look at is to long to kiss
beautiful clustering hair that ones fingers itch to play with such a waist as
might make a man clasp the air involuntarily thinking of twining his arm about
it little feet that tread so lightly they hardly seem to walk upon the ground
to marry all this sir this hey hey«
»This is something more than common drivelling« said Ralph after listening
with a curled lip to the old sinners raptures »The girls name«
»Oh deep deep See now how deep that is« exclaimed old Arthur »He knows I
want his help he knows he can give it me he knows it must all turn to his
advantage he sees the thing already Her name is there nobody within
hearing«
»Why who the devil should there be« retorted Ralph testily
»I didnt know but that perhaps somebody might be passing up or down the
stairs« said Arthur Gride after looking out at the door and carefully
reclosing it »or but that your man might have come back and might have been
listening outside Clerks and servants have a trick of listening and I should
have been very uncomfortable if Mr Noggs «
»Curse Mr Noggs« said Ralph sharply »and go on with what you have to
say«
»Curse Mr Noggs by all means« rejoined old Arthur »I am sure I have not
the least objection to that Her name is «
»Well« said Ralph rendered very irritable by old Arthurs pausing again
»What is it«
»Madeline Bray«
Whatever reasons there might have been and Arthur Gride appeared to have
anticipated some for the mention of this name producing an effect upon Ralph
or whatever effect it really did produce upon him he permitted none to manifest
itself, but calmly repeated the name several times as if reflecting when and
where he had heard it before
»Bray« said Ralph »Bray there was young Bray of no he never had a
daughter«
»You remember Bray« rejoined Arthur Gride
»No« said Ralph looking vacantly at him
»Not Walter Bray The dashing man who used his handsome wife so ill«
»If you seek to recal any particular dashing man to my recollection by such
a trait as that« said Ralph shrugging his shoulders »I shall confound him
with ninetenths of the dashing men I have ever known«
»Tut tut That Bray who is now in the Rules of the Bench« said old Arthur
»You cant have forgotten Bray Both of us did business with him Why he owes
you money«
»Oh him« rejoined Ralph »Ay ay Now you speak Oh Its his daughter is
it«
Naturally as this was said it was not said so naturally but that a kindred
spirit like old Arthur Gride might have discerned a design on the part of Ralph
to lead him on to much more explicit statements and explanations than he would
have volunteered or than Ralph could in all likelihood have obtained by any
other means Old Arthur however was so intent upon his own designs that he
suffered himself to be overreached and had no suspicion but that his good
friend was in earnest
»I knew you couldnt forget him when you came to think for a moment« he
said
»You were right« answered Ralph »But old Arthur Gride and matrimony is a
most anomalous conjunction of words old Arthur Gride and dark eyes and
eyelashes and lips that to look at is to long to kiss and clustering hair that
he wants to play with and waists that he wants to span and little feet that
dont tread upon anything old Arthur Gride and such things as these is more
monstrous still but old Arthur Gride marrying the daughter of a ruined dashing
man in the Rules of the Bench is the most monstrous and incredible of all
Plainly friend Arthur Gride if you want any help from me in this business
which of course you do or you would not be here speak out and to the
purpose And above all dont talk to me of its turning to my advantage for I
know it must turn to yours also and to a good round tune too or you would have
no finger in such a pie as this«
There was enough acerbity and sarcasm not only in the matter of Ralphs
speech but in the tone of voice in which he uttered it and the looks with
which he eked it out to have fired even the ancient usurers cold blood and
flushed even his withered cheek But he gave vent to no demonstration of anger
contenting himself with exclaiming as before »What a man it is« and rolling
himself from side to side as if in unrestrained enjoyment of his freedom and
drollery Clearly observing however from the expression on Ralphs features
that he had best come to the point as speedily as might be he composed himself
for more serious business and entered upon the pith and marrow of his
negotiation
First he dwelt upon the fact that Madeline Bray was devoted to the support
and maintenance and was a slave to every wish of her only parent who had no
other friend on earth to which Ralph rejoined that he had heard something of
the kind before and that if she had known a little more of the world she
wouldnt have been such a fool
Secondly he enlarged upon the character of her father arguing that even
taking it for granted that he loved her in return with the utmost affection of
which he was capable yet he loved himself a great deal better which Ralph said
it was quite unnecessary to say anything more about as that was very natural
and probable enough
And thirdly old Arthur premised that the girl was a delicate and beautiful
creature and that he had really a hankering to have her for his wife To this
Ralph deigned no other rejoinder than a harsh smile and a glance at the
shrivelled old creature before him which were however sufficiently
expressive
»Now« said Gride »for the little plan I have in my mind to bring this
about because I havent offered myself even to the father yet I should have
told you But that you have gathered already Ah oh dear oh dear what an
edged tool you are«
»Dont play with me then« said Ralph impatiently »You know the proverb«
»A reply always on the tip of his tongue« cried old Arthur raising his
hands and eyes in admiration »He is always prepared Oh dear what a blessing
to have such a ready wit and so much ready money to back it« Then suddenly
changing his tone he went on »I have been backwards and forwards to Brays
lodgings several times within the last six months It is just half a year since
I first saw this delicate morsel and oh dear what a delicate morsel it is
But that is neither here nor there I am his detaining creditor for seventeen
hundred pounds«
»You talk as if you were the only detaining creditor« said Ralph pulling
out his pocketbook »I am another for nine hundred and seventyfive pounds four
and threepence«
»The only other Mr Nickleby« said old Arthur eagerly »The only other
Nobody else went to the expense of lodging a detainer trusting to our holding
him fast enough I warrant you We both fell into the same snare oh dear what
a pitfall it was it almost ruined me And lent him our money upon bills with
only one name besides his own which to be sure everybody supposed to be a good
one and was as negotiable as money but which turned out you know how Just as
we should have come upon him he died insolvent Ah It went very nigh to ruin
me that loss did«
»Go on with your scheme« said Ralph »Its of no use raising the cry of our
trade just now theres nobody to hear us«
»Its always as well to talk that way« returned old Arthur with a chuckle
»whether theres anybody to hear us or not Practice makes perfect you know
Now if I offer myself to Bray as his soninlaw upon one simple condition that
the moment I am fast married he shall be quietly released and have an allowance
to live just tother side the water like a gentleman he cant live long for I
have asked his doctor and he declares that his complaint is one of the Heart
and it is impossible and if all the advantages of this condition are properly
stated and dwelt upon to him do you think he could resist me And if he could
not resist me do you think his daughter could resist him Shouldnt I have her
Mrs Arthur Gride pretty Mrs Arthur Gride a titbit a dainty chick
shouldnt I have her Mrs Arthur Gride in a week a month a day any time I
chose to name«
»Go on« said Ralph nodding his head deliberately and speaking in a tone
whose studied coldness presented a strange contrast to the rapturous squeak to
which his friend had gradually mounted »Go on You didnt come here to ask me
that«
»Oh dear how you talk« cried old Arthur edging himself closer still to
Ralph »Of course I didnt I dont pretend I did I came to ask what you would
take from me if I prospered with the father for this debt of yours Five
shillings in the pound six and eightpence ten shillings I would go as far as
ten for such a friend as you we have always been on such good terms but you
wont be so hard upon me as that I know Now will you«
»Theres something more to be told« said Ralph as stony and immovable as
ever
»Yes yes there is but you wont give me time« returned Arthur Gride »I
want a backer in this matter one who can talk and urge and press a point
which you can do as no man can I cant do that for I am a poor timid nervous
creature Now if you get a good composition for this debt which you long ago
gave up for lost youll stand my friend and help me Wont you«
»Theres something more« said Ralph
»No no indeed« cried Arthur Gride
»Yes yes indeed I tell you yes« said Ralph
»Oh« returned old Arthur feigning to be suddenly enlightened »You mean
something more as concerns myself and my intention Ay surely surely Shall I
mention that«
»I think you had better« rejoined Ralph drily
»I didnt like to trouble you with that because I supposed your interest
would cease with your own concern in the affair« said Arthur Gride »Thats
kind of you to ask Oh dear how very kind of you Why supposing I had a
knowledge of some property some little property very little to which this
pretty chick was entitled which nobody does or can know of at this time but
which her husband could sweep into his pouch if he knew as much as I do would
that account for «
»For the whole proceeding« rejoined Ralph abruptly »Now let me turn this
matter over and consider what I ought to have if I should help you to success«
»But dont be hard« cried old Arthur raising his hands with an imploring
gesture and speaking in a tremulous voice »Dont be too hard upon me Its a
very small property it is indeed Say the ten shillings and well close the
bargain Its more than I ought to give but youre so kind shall we say the
ten Do now do«
Ralph took no notice of these supplications but sat for three or four
minutes in a brown study looking thoughtfully at the person from whom they
proceeded After sufficient cogitation he broke silence and it certainly could
not be objected that he used any needless circumlocution or failed to speak
directly to the purpose
»If you married this girl without me« said Ralph »you must pay my debt in
full because you couldnt set her father free otherwise Its plain then that
I must have the whole amount clear of all deduction or incumbrance or I should
lose from being honored with your confidence instead of gaining by it Thats
the first article of the treaty For the second I shall stipulate that for my
trouble in negotiation and persuasion and helping you to this fortune I have
five hundred pounds Thats very little because you have the ripe lips and the
clustering hair and what not all to yourself For the third and last article
I require that you execute a bond to me this day binding yourself in the
payment of these two sums before noon of the day of your marriage with Miss
Madeline Bray You have told me I can urge and press a point I press this one
and will take nothing less than these terms Accept them if you like If not
marry her without me if you can I shall still get my debt«
To all entreaties protestations and offers of compromise between his own
proposals and those which Arthur Gride had first suggested Ralph was deaf as an
adder He would enter into no further discussion of the subject and while old
Arthur dilated on the enormity of his demands and proposed modifications of
them approaching by degrees nearer and nearer to the terms he resisted sat
perfectly mute looking with an air of quiet abstraction over the entries and
papers in his pocketbook Finding that it was impossible to make any impression
upon his staunch friend Arthur Gride who had prepared himself for some such
result before he came consented with a heavy heart to the proposed treaty and
upon the spot filled up the bond required Ralph kept such instruments handy
after exacting the condition that Mr Nickleby should accompany him to Brays
lodgings that very hour and open the negotiation at once should circumstances
appear auspicious and favourable to their designs
In pursuance of this last understanding the worthy gentlemen went out
together shortly afterwards and Newman Noggs emerged bottle in hand from the
cupboard out of the upper door of which at the imminent risk of detection he
had more than once thrust his red nose when such parts of the subject were under
discussion as interested him most
»I have no appetite now« said Newman putting the flask in his pocket
»Ive had my dinner«
Having delivered this observation in a very grievous and doleful tone
Newman reached the door in one long limp and came back again in another
»I dont know who she may be or what she may be« he said »but I pity her
with all my heart and soul and I cant help her nor can I help any of the
people against whom a hundred tricks but none so vile as this are plotted
every day Well that adds to my pain but not to theirs The thing is no worse
because I know it and it tortures me as well as them Gride and Nickleby Good
pair for a curricle Oh roguery roguery roguery«
With these reflections and a very hard knock on the crown of his
unfortunate hat at each repetition of the last word Newman Noggs whose brain
was a little muddled by so much of the contents of the pocketpistol as had
found their way there during his recent concealment went forth to seek such
consolation as might be derivable from the beef and greens of some cheap
eatinghouse
Meanwhile the two plotters had betaken themselves to the same house whither
Nicholas had repaired for the first time but a few mornings before and having
obtained access to Mr Bray and found his daughter from home had by a train of
the most masterly approaches that Ralphs utmost skill could frame at length
laid open the real object of their visit
»There he sits Mr Bray« said Ralph as the invalid not yet recovered
from his surprise reclined in his chair looking alternately at him and Arthur
Gride »What if he has had the ill fortune to be one cause of your detention in
this place I have been another Men must live you are too much a man of the
world not to see that in its true light We offer the best reparation in our
power Reparation Here is an offer of marriage that many a titled father would
leap at for his child Mr Arthur Gride with the fortune of a prince Think
what a haul it is«
»My daughter sir« returned Bray haughtily »as I have brought her up
would be a rich recompense for the largest fortune that a man could bestow in
exchange for her hand«
»Precisely what I told you« said the artful Ralph turning to his friend
old Arthur »Precisely what made me consider the thing so fair and easy There
is no obligation on either side You have money and Miss Madeline has beauty
and worth She has youth you have money She has not money you have not youth
Tit for tat quits a match of Heavens own making«
»Matches are made in Heaven they say« added Arthur Gride leering
hideously at the fatherinlaw he wanted »If we are married it will be
destiny according to that«
»Then think Mr Bray« said Ralph hastily substituting for this argument
considerations more nearly allied to earth »Think what a stake is involved in
the acceptance or rejection of these proposals of my friend«
»How can I accept or reject« interrupted Mr Bray with an irritable
consciousness that it really rested with him to decide »It is for my daughter
to accept or reject it is for my daughter You know that«
»True« said Ralph emphatically »but you have still the power to advise
to state the reasons for and against to hint a wish«
»To hint a wish sir« returned the debtor proud and mean by turns and
selfish at all times »I am her father am I not Why should I hint and beat
about the bush Do you suppose like her mothers friends and my enemies a
curse upon them all that there is anything in what she has done for me but
duty sir but duty Or do you think that my having been unfortunate is a
sufficient reason why our relative positions should be changed and that she
should command and I should obey Hint a wish too Perhaps you think because
you see me in this place and scarcely able to leave this chair without
assistance that I am some brokenspirited dependent creature without the
courage or power to do what I may think best for my own child Still the power
to hint a wish I hope so«
»Pardon me« returned Ralph who thoroughly knew his man and had taken his
ground accordingly »you do not hear me out I was about to say that your
hinting a wish even hinting a wish would surely be equivalent to commanding«
»Why of course it would« retorted Mr Bray in an exasperated tone »If
you dont happen to have heard of the time sir I tell you that there was a
time when I carried every point in triumph against her mothers whole family
although they had power and wealth on their side by my will alone«
»Still« rejoined Ralph as mildly as his nature would allow him »you have
not heard me out You are a man yet qualified to shine in society with many
years of life before you that is if you lived in freer air and under brighter
skies and chose your own companions Gaiety is your element you have shone in
it before Fashion and freedom for you France and an annuity that would
support you there in luxury would give you a new lease of life would transfer
you to a new existence The town rang with your expensive pleasures once and
you could blaze on a new scene again profiting by experience, and living a
little at others cost instead of letting others live at yours What is there
on the reverse side of the picture What is there I dont know which is the
nearest churchyard but a gravestone there wherever it is and a date perhaps
two years hence perhaps twenty Thats all«
Mr Bray rested his elbow on the arm of his chair and shaded his face with
his hand
»I speak plainly« said Ralph sitting down beside him »because I feel
strongly Its my interest that you should marry your daughter to my friend
Gride because then he sees me paid in part that is I dont disguise it I
acknowledge it openly But what interest have you in recommending her to such a
step Keep that in view She might object remonstrate shed tears talk of his
being too old and plead that her life would be rendered miserable But what is
it now«
Several slight gestures on the part of the invalid showed that these
arguments were no more lost upon him than the smallest iota of his demeanour
was upon Ralph
»What is it now I say« pursued the wily usurer »or what has it a chance
of being If you died indeed the people you hate would make her happy But can
you bear the thought of that«
»No« returned Bray urged by a vindictive impulse he could not repress
»I should imagine not indeed« said Ralph quietly »If she profits by
anybodys death« this was said in a lower tone »let it be by her husbands
Dont let her have to look back to yours as the event from which to date a
happier life Where is the objection Let me hear it stated What is it That
her suitor is an old man Why how often do men of family and fortune who
havent your excuse but have all the means and superfluities of life within
their reach how often do they marry their daughters to old men or worse
still to young men without heads or hearts to tickle some idle vanity
strengthen some family interest or secure some seat in Parliament Judge for
her sir judge for her You must know best and she will live to thank you«
»Hush hush« cried Mr Bray suddenly starting up and covering Ralphs
mouth with his trembling hand »I hear her at the door«
There was a gleam of conscience in the shame and terror of this hasty
action which in one short moment tore the thin covering of sophistry from the
cruel design and laid it bare in all its meanness and heartless deformity The
father fell into his chair pale and trembling Arthur Gride plucked and fumbled
at his hat and durst not raise his eyes from the floor even Ralph crouched for
the moment like a beaten hound cowed by the presence of one young innocent
girl
The effect was almost as brief as sudden Ralph was the first to recover
himself and observing Madelines looks of alarm entreated the poor girl to be
composed assuring her that there was no cause for fear
»A sudden spasm« said Ralph glancing at Mr Bray »He is quite well now«
It might have moved a very hard and worldly heart to see the young and
beautiful creature whose certain misery they had been contriving but a minute
before throw her arms about her fathers neck and pour forth words of tender
sympathy and love the sweetest a fathers ear can know or childs lips form
But Ralph looked coldly on and Arthur Gride whose bleared eyes gloated only
over the outward beauties and were blind to the spirit which reigned within
evinced a fantastic kind of warmth certainly but not exactly that kind of
warmth of feeling which the contemplation of virtue usually inspires
»Madeline« said her father gently disengaging himself »it was nothing«
»But you had that spasm yesterday and it is terrible to see you in such
pain Can I do nothing for you«
»Nothing just now Here are two gentlemen Madeline one of whom you have
seen before She used to say« added Mr Bray addressing Arthur Gride »that
the sight of you always made me worse That was natural knowing what she did
and only what she did of our connection and its results Well well Perhaps
she may change her mind on that point girls have leave to change their minds
you know You are very tired my dear«
»I am not indeed«
»Indeed you are You do too much«
»I wish I could do more«
»I know you do but you overtask your strength This wretched life my
love of daily labour and fatigue is more than you can bear I am sure it is
Poor Madeline«
With these and many more kind words Mr Bray drew his daughter to him and
kissed her cheek affectionately Ralph watching him sharply and closely in the
meantime made his way towards the door and signed to Gride to follow him
»You will communicate with us again« said Ralph
»Yes yes« returned Mr Bray hastily thrusting his daughter aside »In a
week Give me a week«
»One week« said Ralph turning to his companion »from today Good
morning Miss Madeline I kiss your hand«
»We will shake hands Gride« said Mr Bray extending his as old Arthur
bowed »You mean well no doubt I am bound to say so now If I owed you money
that was not your fault Madeline my love your hand here«
»Oh dear If the young lady would condescend Only the tips of her fingers«
said Arthur hesitating and half retreating
Madeline shrunk involuntarily from the goblin figure but she placed the
tips of her fingers in his hand and instantly withdrew them After an
ineffectual clutch intended to detain and carry them to his lips old Arthur
gave his own fingers a mumbling kiss and with many amorous distortions of
visage went in pursuit of his friend who was by this time in the street
»What does he say what does he say What does the giant say to the pigmy«
inquired Arthur Gride hobbling up to Ralph
»What does the pigmy say to the giant« rejoined Ralph elevating his
eyebrows and looking down upon his questioner
»He doesnt know what to say« replied Arthur Gride »He hopes and fears
But is she not a dainty morsel«
»I have no great taste for beauty« growled Ralph
»But I have« rejoined Arthur rubbing his hands »Oh dear How handsome her
eyes looked when she was stooping over him Such long lashes such delicate
fringe She she looked at me so soft«
»Not overlovingly I think« said Ralph »Did she«
»No you think not« replied old Arthur »But dont you think it can be
brought about Dont you think it can«
Ralph looked at him with a contemptuous frown and replied with a sneer and
between his teeth
»Did you mark his telling her she was tired and did too much and
overtasked her strength«
»Ay ay What of it«
»When do you think he ever told her that before The life is more than she
can bear Yes yes Hell change it for her«
»Dye think its done« inquired old Arthur peering into his companions
face with halfclosed eyes
»I am sure its done« said Ralph »He is trying to deceive himself even
before our eyes already He is making believe that he thinks of her good and
not his own He is acting a virtuous part and is so considerate and
affectionate sir that his daughter scarcely knew him I saw a tear of surprise
in her eye Therell be a few more tears of surprise there before long though
of a different kind Oh we may wait with confidence for this day week«
Chapter XLVIII
Being for the Benefit of Mr Vincent Crummles and Positively His Last
Appearance on This Stage
It was with a very sad and heavy heart oppressed by many painful ideas, that
Nicholas retraced his steps eastward and betook himself to the countinghouse of
Cheeryble Brothers Whatever the idle hopes he had suffered himself to
entertain whatever the pleasant visions which had sprung up in his mind and
grouped themselves round the fair image of Madeline Bray they were now
dispelled and not a vestige of their gaiety and brightness remained
It would be a poor compliment to Nicholass better nature and one which he
was very far from deserving to insinuate that the solution and such a
solution of the mystery which had seemed to surround Madeline Bray when he was
ignorant even of her name had damped his ardour or cooled the fervour of his
admiration If he had regarded her before with such a passion as young men
attracted by mere beauty and elegance may entertain he was now conscious of
much deeper and stronger feelings But reverence for the truth and purity of
her heart respect for the helplessness and loneliness of her situation
sympathy with the trials of one so young and fair and admiration of her great
and noble spirit all seemed to raise her far above his reach and while they
imparted new depth and dignity to his love to whisper that it was hopeless
»I will keep my word as I have pledged it to her« said Nicholas manfully
»This is no common trust that I have to discharge and I will perform the double
duty that is imposed upon me most scrupulously and strictly My secret feelings
deserve no consideration in such a case as this and they shall have none«
Still there were the secret feelings in existence just the same and in
secret Nicholas rather encouraged them than otherwise reasoning if he reasoned
at all that there they could do no harm to anybody but himself and that if he
kept them to himself from a sense of duty he had an additional right to
entertain himself with them as a reward for his heroism
All these thoughts coupled with what he had seen that morning and the
anticipation of his next visit rendered him a very dull and abstracted
companion so much so indeed that Tim Linkinwater suspected he must have made
the mistake of a figure somewhere which was preying upon his mind and
seriously conjured him if such were the case to make a clean breast and
scratch it out rather than have his whole life embittered by the tortures of
remorse
But in reply to these considerate representations and many others both from
Tim and Mr Frank Nicholas could only be brought to state that he was never
merrier in his life and so went on all day and so went towards home at night
still turning over and over again the same subjects thinking over and over
again the same things and arriving over and over again at the same conclusions
In this pensive wayward and uncertain state people are apt to lounge and
loiter without knowing why to read placards on the walls with great attention
and without the smallest idea of one word of their contents and to stare most
earnestly through shopwindows at things which they dont see It was thus that
Nicholas found himself poring with the utmost interest over a large playbill
hanging outside a Minor Theatre which he had to pass on his way home and
reading a list of the actors and actresses who had promised to do honor to some
approaching benefit with as much gravity as if it had been a catalogue of the
names of those ladies and gentlemen who stood highest upon the Book of Fate and
he had been looking anxiously for his own He glanced at the top of the bill
with a smile at his own dulness as he prepared to resume his walk and there
saw announced in large letters with a large space between each of them
»Positively the last appearance of Mr Vincent Crummles of Provincial
Celebrity«
»Nonsense« said Nicholas turning back again »It cant be«
But there it was In one line by itself was an announcement of the first
night of a new melodrama in another line by itself was an announcement of the
last six nights of an old one a third line was devoted to the reengagement of
the unrivalled African Knifeswallower who had kindly suffered himself to be
prevailed upon to forego his country engagements for one week longer a fourth
line announced that Mr Snittle Timberry having recovered from his late severe
indisposition would have the honor of appearing that evening a fifth line said
that there were »Cheers Tears and Laughter« every night a sixth that that
was positively the last appearance of Mr Vincent Crummles of Provincial
Celebrity
»Surely it must be the same man« thought Nicholas »There cant be two
Vincent Crummleses«
The better to settle this question he referred to the bill again and
finding that there was a Baron in the first piece and that Roberto his son
was enacted by one Master Crummles and Spaletro his nephew by one Master
Percy Crummles their last appearances and that incidental to the piece was
a characteristic dance by the characters and a castanet pas seul by the Infant
Phenomenon her last appearance he no longer entertained any doubt and
presenting himself at the stage door and sending in a scrap of paper with Mr
Johnson written thereon in pencil was presently conducted by a Robber with a
very large belt and buckle round his waist and very large leather gauntlets on
his hands into the presence of his former manager
Mr Crummles was unfeignedly glad to see him and starting up from before a
small dressingglass with one very bushy eyebrow stuck on crooked over his left
eye and the fellow eyebrow and the calf of one of his legs in his hand
embraced him cordially at the same time observing that it would do Mrs
Crummless heart good to bid him goodbye before they went
»You were always a favourite of hers Johnson« said Crummles »always were
from the first I was quite easy in my mind about you from that first day you
dined with us One that Mrs Crummles took a fancy to was sure to turn out
right Ah Johnson what a woman that is«
»I am sincerely obliged to her for her kindness in this and all other
respects« said Nicholas »But where are you going that you talk about bidding
goodbye«
»Havent you seen it in the papers« said Crummles with some dignity
»No« replied Nicholas
»I wonder at that« said the manager »It was among the varieties I had the
paragraph here somewhere but I dont know oh yes here it is«
So saying Mr Crummles after pretending that he thought he must have lost
it produced a square inch of newspaper from the pocket of the pantaloons he
wore in private life which together with the plain clothes of several other
gentlemen lay scattered about on a kind of dresser in the room and gave it to
Nicholas to read
»The talented Vincent Crummles long favourably known to fame as a country
manager and actor of no ordinary pretensions is about to cross the Atlantic on
a histrionic expedition Crummles is to be accompanied we hear by his lady and
gifted family We know no man superior to Crummles in his particular line of
character or one who whether as a public or private individual could carry
with him the best wishes of a larger circle of friends Crummles is certain to
succeed«
»Heres another bit« said Mr Crummles handing over a still smaller scrap
»This is from the notices to correspondents this one«
Nicholas read it aloud »PhiloDramaticus Crummles the country manager and
actor cannot be more than fortythree or fortyfour years of age Crummles is
NOT a Prussian having been born at Chelsea Humph« said Nicholas »thats an
odd paragraph«
»Very« returned Crummles scratching the side of his nose and looking at
Nicholas with an assumption of great unconcern »I cant think who puts these
things in I didnt«
Still keeping his eye on Nicholas Mr Crummles shook his head twice or
thrice with profound gravity and remarking that he could not for the life of
him imagine how the newspapers found out the things they did folded up the
extracts and put them in his pocket again
»I am astonished to hear this news« said Nicholas »Going to America You
had no such thing in contemplation when I was with you«
»No« replied Crummles »I hadnt then The fact is that Mrs Crummles
most extraordinary woman Johnson« Here he broke off and whispered something in
his ear
»Oh« said Nicholas smiling »The prospect of an addition to your family«
»The seventh addition Johnson« returned Mr Crummles solemnly »I thought
such a child as the Phenomenon must have been a closer but it seems we are to
have another She is a very remarkable woman«
»I congratulate you« said Nicholas »and I hope this may prove a phenomenon
too«
»Why its pretty sure to be something uncommon I suppose« rejoined Mr
Crummles »The talent of the other three is principally in combat and serious
pantomime I should like this one to have a turn for juvenile tragedy I
understand they want something of that sort in America very much However we
must take it as it comes Perhaps it may have a genius for the tightrope It
may have any sort of genius in short if it takes after its mother Johnson
for she is a universal genius but whatever its genius is that genius shall be
developed«
Expressing himself after these terms Mr Crummles put on his other eyebrow
and the calves of his legs and then put on his legs which were of a yellowish
fleshcolour and rather soiled about the knees from frequent going down upon
those joints in curses prayers last struggles and other strong passages
While the exmanager completed his toilet he informed Nicholas that as he
should have a fair start in America from the proceeds of a tolerably good
engagement which he had been fortunate enough to obtain and as he and Mrs
Crummles could scarcely hope to act for ever not being immortal except in the
breath of Fame and in a figurative sense he had made up his mind to settle
there permanently in the hope of acquiring some land of his own which would
support them in their old age and which they could afterwards bequeath to their
children Nicholas having highly commended this resolution Mr Crummles went
on to impart such further intelligence relative to their mutual friends as he
thought might prove interesting informing Nicholas among other things that
Miss Snevellicci was happily married to an affluent young waxchandler who had
supplied the theatre with candles and that Mr Lillyvick didnt dare to say his
soul was his own such was the tyrannical sway of Mrs Lillyvick who reigned
paramount and supreme
Nicholas responded to this confidence on the part of Mr Crummles by
confiding to him his own name situation and prospects and informing him in as
few general words as he could of the circumstances which had led to their first
acquaintance After congratulating him with great heartiness on the improved
state of his fortunes Mr Crummles gave him to understand that next morning he
and his were to start for Liverpool where the vessel lay which was to carry
them from the shores of England and that if Nicholas wished to take a last
adieu of Mrs Crummles he must repair with him that night to a farewellsupper
given in honor of the family at a neighbouring tavern at which Mr Snittle
Timberry would preside while the honors of the vicechair would be sustained by
the African Swallower
The room being by this time very warm and somewhat crowded in consequence
of the influx of four gentlemen who had just killed each other in the piece
under representation Nicholas accepted the invitation and promised to return
at the conclusion of the performances preferring the cool air and twilight out
of doors to the mingled perfume of gas orangepeel and gunpowder which
pervaded the hot and glaring theatre
He availed himself of this interval to buy a silver snuffbox the best his
funds would afford as a token of remembrance for Mr Crummles and having
purchased besides a pair of earrings for Mrs Crummles a necklace for the
Phenomenon, and a flaming shirtpin for each of the young gentlemen he
refreshed himself with a walk and returning a little after the appointed time
found the lights out the theatre empty the curtain raised for the night and
Mr Crummles walking up and down the stage expecting his arrival
»Timberry wont be long« said Mr Crummles »He played the audience out
tonight He does a faithful black in the last piece and it takes him a little
longer to wash himself«
»A very unpleasant line of character I should think« said Nicholas
»No I dont know« replied Mr Crummles »it comes off easily enough and
theres only the face and neck We had a firsttragedy man in our company once
who when he played Othello used to black himself all over But thats feeling
a part and going into it as if you meant it it isnt usual mores the pity«
Mr Snittle Timberry now appeared arm in arm with the African Swallower
and being introduced to Nicholas raised his hat halfafoot and said he was
proud to know him The Swallower said the same and looked and spoke remarkably
like an Irishman
»I see by the bills that you have been ill sir« said Nicholas to Mr
Timberry »I hope you are none the worse for your exertions tonight«
Mr Timberry in reply shook his head with a gloomy air tapped his chest
several times with great significancy and drawing his cloak more closely about
him said »But no matter no matter Come«
It is observable that when people upon the stage are in any strait involving
the very last extremity of weakness and exhaustion they invariably perform
feats of strength requiring great ingenuity and muscular power Thus a wounded
prince or banditchief who is bleeding to death and too faint to move except
to the softest music and then only upon his hands and knees shall be seen to
approach a cottage door for aid in such a series of writhings and twistings
and with such curlings up of the legs and such rollings over and over and such
gettings up and tumblings down again as could never be achieved save by a very
strong man skilled in posturemaking And so natural did this sort of
performance come to Mr Snittle Timberry that on their way out of the theatre
and towards the tavern where the supper was to be holden he testified the
severity of his recent indisposition and its wasting effects upon the nervous
system by a series of gymnastic performances which were the admiration of all
witnesses
»Why this is indeed a joy I had not looked for« said Mrs Crummles when
Nicholas was presented
»Nor I« replied Nicholas »It is by a mere chance that I have this
opportunity of seeing you although I would have made a great exertion to have
availed myself of it«
»Here is one whom you know« said Mrs Crummles thrusting forward the
Phenomenon in a blue gauze frock extensively flounced and trousers of the
same »and here another and another« presenting the Masters Crummles »And
how is your friend the faithful Digby«
»Digby« said Nicholas forgetting at the instant that this had been Smikes
theatrical name »Oh yes Hes quite what am I saying he is very far from
well«
»How« exclaimed Mrs Crummles with a tragic recoil
»I fear« said Nicholas shaking his head and making an attempt to smile
»that your betterhalf would be more struck with him now than ever«
»What mean you« rejoined Mrs Crummles in her most popular manner »Whence
comes this altered tone«
»I mean that a dastardly enemy of mine has struck at me through him and
that while he thinks to torture me he inflicts on him such agonies of terror
and suspense as You will excuse me I am sure« said Nicholas checking
himself »I should never speak of this and never do except to those who know
the facts but for a moment I forgot myself«
With this hasty apology Nicholas stooped down to salute the Phenomenon, and
changed the subject inwardly cursing his precipitation and very much wondering
what Mrs Crummles must think of so sudden an explosion
The lady seemed to think very little about it for the supper being by this
time on table she gave her hand to Nicholas and repaired with a stately step to
the left hand of Mr Snittle Timberry Nicholas had the honor to support her
and Mr Crummles was placed upon the chairmans right the Phenomenon and the
Masters Crummles sustained the vice
The company amounted in number to some twentyfive or thirty being composed
of such members of the theatrical profession then engaged or disengaged in
London as were numbered among the most intimate friends of Mr and Mrs
Crummles The ladies and gentlemen were pretty equally balanced the expenses of
the entertainment being defrayed by the latter each of whom had the privilege
of inviting one of the former as his guest
It was upon the whole a very distinguished party for independently of the
lesser theatrical lights who clustered on this occasion round Mr Snittle
Timberry there was a literary gentleman present who had dramatised in his time
two hundred and fortyseven novels as fast as they had come out some of them
faster than they had come out and who was a literary gentleman in consequence
This gentleman sat on the left hand of Nicholas to whom he was introduced
by his friend the African Swallower from the bottom of the table with a high
eulogium upon his fame and reputation
»I am happy to know a gentleman of such great distinction« said Nicholas
politely
»Sir« replied the wit »youre very welcome Im sure The honor is
reciprocal sir as I usually say when I dramatise a book Did you ever hear a
definition of fame sir«
»I have heard several« replied Nicholas with a smile »What is yours«
»When I dramatise a book sir« said the literary gentleman »thats fame
For its author«
»Oh indeed« rejoined Nicholas
»Thats fame sir« said the literary gentleman
»So Richard Turpin Tom King and Jerry Abershaw have handed down to fame
the names of those on whom they committed their most impudent robberies« said
Nicholas
»I dont know anything about that sir« answered the literary gentleman
»Shakspeare dramatised stories which had previously appeared in print it is
true« observed Nicholas
»Meaning Bill sir« said the literary gentleman »So he did Bill was an
adapter certainly So he was and very well he adapted too considering«
»I was about to say« rejoined Nicholas »that Shakspeare derived some of
his plots from old tales and legends in general circulation but it seems to me
that some of the gentlemen of your craft at the present day have shot very far
beyond him «
»Youre quite right sir« interrupted the literary gentleman leaning back
in his chair and exercising his toothpick »Human intellect sir has progressed
since his time is progressing will progress«
»Shot beyond him I mean« resumed Nicholas »in quite another respect for
whereas he brought within the magic circle of his genius traditions peculiarly
adapted for his purpose and turned familiar things into constellations which
should enlighten the world for ages you drag within the magic circle of your
dulness subjects not at all adapted to the purposes of the stage and debase as
he exalted For instance you take the uncompleted books of living authors
fresh from their hands wet from the press cut hack and carve them to the
powers and capacities of your actors and the capability of your theatres
finish unfinished works hastily and crudely vamp up ideas not yet worked out by
their original projector but which have doubtless cost him many thoughtful days
and sleepless nights by a comparison of incidents and dialogue down to the
very last word he may have written a fortnight before do your utmost to
anticipate his plot all this without his permission and against his will and
then to crown the whole proceeding publish in some mean pamphlet an unmeaning
farrago of garbled extracts from his work to which you put your name as author
with the honorable distinction annexed of having perpetrated a hundred other
outrages of the same description Now show me the distinction between such
pilfering as this and picking a mans pocket in the street unless indeed it
be that the legislature has a regard for pocket handkerchiefs and leaves mens
brains except when they are knocked out by violence to take care of
themselves«
»Men must live sir« said the literary gentleman shrugging his shoulders
»That would be an equally fair plea in both cases« replied Nicholas »but
if you put it upon that ground I have nothing more to say than that if I were
a writer of books and you a thirsty dramatist I would rather pay your tavern
score for six months large as it might be than have a niche in the Temple of
Fame with you for the humblest corner of my pedestal through six hundred
generations«
The conversation threatened to take a somewhat angry tone when it had
arrived thus far but Mrs Crummles opportunely interposed to prevent its
leading to any violent outbreak by making some inquiries of the literary
gentleman relative to the plots of the six new pieces which he had written by
contract to introduce the African Knifeswallower in his various unrivalled
performances This speedily engaged him in an animated conversation with that
lady in the interest of which all recollection of his recent discussion with
Nicholas very quickly evaporated
The board being now clear of the more substantial articles of food and
punch wine and spirits being placed upon it and handed about the guests who
had been previously conversing in little groups of three or four gradually fell
off into a dead silence while the majority of those present glanced from time
to time at Mr Snittle Timberry and the bolder spirits did not even hesitate to
strike the table with their knuckles and plainly intimate their expectations
by uttering such encouragements as »Now Tim« »Wake up Mr Chairman« »All
charged sir and waiting for a toast« and so forth
To these remonstrances Mr Timberry deigned no other rejoinder than
striking his chest and gasping for breath and giving many other indications of
being still the victim of indisposition for a man must not make himself too
cheap either on the stage or off while Mr Crummles who knew full well that
he would be the subject of the forthcoming toast sat gracefully in his chair
with his arm thrown carelessly over the back and now and then lifted his glass
to his mouth and drank a little punch with the same air with which he was
accustomed to take long draughts of nothing out of the pasteboard goblets in
banquet scenes
At length Mr Snittle Timberry rose in the most approved attitude with one
hand in the breast of his waistcoat and the other on the nearest snuffbox and
having been received with great enthusiasm proposed with abundance of
quotations his friend Mr Vincent Crummles ending a pretty long speech by
extending his right hand on one side and his left on the other and severally
calling upon Mr and Mrs Crummles to grasp the same This done Mr Vincent
Crummles returned thanks and that done the African Swallower proposed Mrs
Vincent Crummles in affecting terms Then were heard loud moans and sobs from
Mrs Crummles and the ladies despite of which that heroic woman insisted upon
returning thanks herself which she did in a manner and in a speech which has
never been surpassed and seldom equalled It then became the duty of Mr Snittle
Timberry to give the young Crummleses which he did after which Mr Vincent
Crummles as their father addressed the company in a supplementary speech
enlarging on their virtues amiabilities and excellences and wishing that they
were the sons and daughter of every lady and gentleman present These
solemnities having been succeeded by a decent interval enlivened by musical and
other entertainments Mr Crummles proposed that ornament of the profession Mr
Snittle Timberry and at a little later period of the evening the health of
that other ornament of the profession the African Swallower his very dear
friend if he would allow him to call him so which liberty there being no
particular reason why he should not allow it the African Swallower graciously
permitted The literary gentleman was then about to be drunk but it being
discovered that he had been drunk for some time in another acceptation of the
term, and was then asleep on the stairs the intention was abandoned and the
honor transferred to the ladies Finally after a very long sitting Mr Snittle
Timberry vacated the chair and the company with many adieus and embraces
dispersed
Nicholas waited to the last to give his little presents When he had said
goodbye all round and came to Mr Crummles he could not but mark the
difference between their present separation and their parting at Portsmouth Not
a jot of his theatrical manner remained he put out his hand with an air which
if he could have summoned it at will would have made him the best actor of his
day in homely parts and when Nicholas shook it with the warmth he honestly
felt appeared thoroughly melted
»We were a very happy little company Johnson« said poor Crummles »You and
I never had a word I shall be very glad tomorrow morning to think that I saw
you again but now I almost wish you hadnt come«
Nicholas was about to return a cheerful reply when he was greatly
disconcerted by the sudden apparition of Mrs Grudden who it seemed had
declined to attend the supper in order that she might rise earlier in the
morning and who now burst out of an adjoining bedroom habited in very
extraordinary white robes and throwing her arms about his neck hugged him with
great affection
»What Are you going too« said Nicholas submitting with as good a grace as
if she had been the finest young creature in the world
»Going« returned Mrs Grudden »Lord ha mercy what do you think theyd do
without me«
Nicholas submitted to another hug with even a better grace than before if
that were possible and waving his hat as cheerfully as he could took farewell
of the Vincent Crummleses
Chapter XLIX
Chronicles the Further Proceedings of the Nickleby Family and the Sequel of the
Adventure of the Gentleman in the SmallClothes
While Nicholas absorbed in the one engrossing subject of interest which had
recently opened upon him occupied his leisure hours with thoughts of Madeline
Bray and in execution of the commissions which the anxiety of brother Charles
in her behalf imposed upon him saw her again and again and each time with
greater danger to his peace of mind and a more weakening effect upon the lofty
resolutions he had formed Mrs Nickleby and Kate continued to live in peace and
quiet agitated by no other cares than those which were connected with certain
harassing proceedings taken by Mr Snawley for the recovery of his son and
their anxiety for Smike himself whose health long upon the wane began to be
so much affected by apprehension and uncertainty as sometimes to occasion both
them and Nicholas considerable uneasiness and even alarm
It was no complaint or murmur on the part of the poor fellow himself that
thus disturbed them Ever eager to be employed in such slight services as he
could render and always anxious to repay his benefactors with cheerful and
happy looks less friendly eyes might have seen in him no cause for any
misgiving But there were times and often too when the sunken eye was too
bright the hollow cheek too flushed the breath too thick and heavy in its
course the frame too feeble and exhausted to escape their regard and notice
There is a dread disease which so prepares its victim as it were for
death which so refines it of its grosser aspect and throws around familiar
looks unearthly indications of the coming change a dread disease in which the
struggle between soul and body is so gradual quiet and solemn and the result
so sure that day by day and grain by grain the mortal part wastes and withers
away so that the spirit grows light and sanguine with its lightening load and
feeling immortality at hand deems it but a new term of mortal life a disease
in which death and life are so strangely blended that death takes the glow and
hue of life and life the gaunt and grisly form of death a disease which
medicine never cured wealth never warded off or poverty could boast exemption
from which sometimes moves in giant strides and sometimes at a tardy sluggish
pace but slow or quick is ever sure and certain
It was with some faint reference in his own mind to this disorder though he
would by no means admit it even to himself that Nicholas had already carried
his faithful companion to a physician of great repute There was no cause for
immediate alarm he said There were no present symptoms which could be deemed
conclusive The constitution had been greatly tried and injured in childhood
but still it might not be and that was all
But he seemed to grow no worse and as it was not difficult to find a
reason for these symptoms of illness in the shock and agitation he had recently
undergone Nicholas comforted himself with the hope that his poor friend would
soon recover This hope his mother and sister shared with him and as the object
of their joint solicitude seemed to have no uneasiness or despondency for
himself but each day answered with a quiet smile that he felt better than he
had upon the day before their fears abated and the general happiness was by
degrees restored
Many and many a time in after years did Nicholas look back to this period of
his life and tread again the humble quiet homely scenes that rose up as of old
before him Many and many a time in the twilight of a summer evening or beside
the flickering winters fire but not so often or so sadly then would his
thoughts wander back to these old days and dwell with a pleasant sorrow upon
every slight remembrance which they brought crowding home The little room in
which they had so often sat long after it was dark figuring such happy futures
Kates cheerful voice and merry laugh how if she were from home they used to
sit and watch for her return scarcely breaking silence but to say how dull it
seemed without her the glee with which poor Smike would start from the darkened
corner where he used to sit and hurry to admit her and the tears they often
saw upon his face half wondering to see them too and he so pleased and happy
every little incident and even slight words and looks of those old days little
heeded then but well remembered when busy cares and trials were quite
forgotten came fresh and thick before him many and many a time and rustling
above the dusty growth of years came back green boughs of yesterday
But there were other persons associated with these recollections and many
changes came about before they had being A necessary reflection for the
purposes of these adventures which at once subside into their accustomed train
and shunning all flighty anticipations or wayward wanderings pursue their
steady and decorous course
If the brothers Cheeryble as they found Nicholas worthy of trust and
confidence bestowed upon him every day some new and substantial mark of
kindness they were not less mindful of those who depended on him Various
little presents to Mrs Nickleby always of the very things they most required
tended in no slight degree to the improvement and embellishment of the cottage
Kates little store of trinkets became quite dazzling and for company If
brother Charles and brother Ned failed to look in for at least a few minutes
every Sunday or one evening in the week there was Mr Tim Linkinwater who had
never made halfadozen other acquaintances in all his life and who took such
delight in his new friends as no words can express constantly coming and going
in his evening walks and stopping to rest while Mr Frank Cheeryble happened
by some strange conjunction of circumstances to be passing the door on some
business or other at least three nights in the week
»He is the most attentive young man I ever saw Kate« said Mrs Nickleby to
her daughter one evening when this lastnamed gentleman had been the subject of
the worthy ladys eulogium for some time and Kate had sat perfectly silent
»Attentive mama« rejoined Kate
»Bless my heart Kate« cried Mrs Nickleby with her wonted suddenness
»what a colour you have got why youre quite flushed«
»Oh mama what strange things you fancy«
»It wasnt fancy Kate my dear Im certain of that« returned her mother
»However its gone now at any rate so it dont much matter whether it was or
not What was it we were talking about Oh Mr Frank I never saw such
attention in my life never«
»Surely you are not serious« returned Kate colouring again and this time
beyond all dispute
»Not serious« returned Mrs Nickleby »why shouldnt I be serious Im sure
I never was more serious I will say that his politeness and attention to me is
one of the most becoming gratifying pleasant things I have seen for a very
long time You dont often meet with such behaviour in young men and it strikes
one more when one does meet with it«
»Oh attention to you mama« rejoined Kate quickly »oh yes«
»Dear me Kate« retorted Mrs Nickleby »what an extraordinary girl you
are Was it likely I should be talking of his attention to anybody else I
declare Im quite sorry to think he should be in love with a German lady that I
am«
»He said very positively that it was no such thing mama« returned Kate
»Dont you remember his saying so that very first night he came here Besides«
she added in a more gentle tone »why should we be sorry if it is the case
What is it to us mama«
»Nothing to us Kate perhaps« said Mrs Nickleby emphatically »but
something to me I confess I like English people to be thorough English people
and not half English and half I dont know what I shall tell him pointblank
next time he comes that I wish he would marry one of his own countrywomen and
see what he says to that«
»Pray dont think of such a thing mama« returned Kate hastily »not for
the world Consider How very «
»Well my dear how very what« said Mrs Nickleby opening her eyes in
great astonishment
Before Kate had returned any reply a queer little doubleknock announced
that Miss La Creevy had called to see them and when Miss La Creevy presented
herself Mrs Nickleby though strongly disposed to be argumentative on the
previous question forgot all about it in a gush of supposes about the coach she
had come by supposing that the man who drove must have been either the man in
the shirtsleeves or the man with the black eye that whoever he was he hadnt
found that parasol she left inside last week that no doubt they had stopped a
long while at the Halfway House coming down or that perhaps being full they
had come straight on and lastly that they surely must have passed Nicholas
on the road
»I saw nothing of him« answered Miss La Creevy »but I saw that dear old
soul Mr Linkinwater«
»Taking his evening walk and coming on to rest here before he turns back
to the city Ill be bound« said Mrs Nickleby
»I should think he was« returned Miss La Creevy »especially as young Mr
Cheeryble was with him«
»Surely that is no reason why Mr Linkinwater should be coming here« said
Kate
»Why I think it is my dear« said Miss La Creevy »For a young man Mr
Frank is not a very great walker and I observe that he generally falls tired
and requires a good long rest when he has come as far as this But where is my
friend« said the little woman looking about after having glanced slyly at
Kate »He has not been run away with again has he«
»Ah where is Mr Smike« said Mrs Nickleby »he was here this instant«
Upon further inquiry it turned out to the good ladys unbounded
astonishment that Smike had that moment gone up stairs to bed
»Well now« said Mrs Nickleby »he is the strangest creature Last Tuesday
was it Tuesday Yes to be sure it was you recollect Kate my dear the very
last time young Mr Cheeryble was here last Tuesday night he went off in just
the same strange way at the very moment the knock came to the door It cannot
be that he dont like company because he is always fond of people who are fond
of Nicholas and I am sure young Mr Cheeryble is And the strangest thing is
that he does not go to bed therefore it cannot be because he is tired I know
he doesnt go to bed because my room is the next one and when I went up stairs
last Tuesday hours after him I found that he had not even taken his shoes off
and he had no candle so he must have sat moping in the dark all the time Now
upon my word« said Mrs Nickleby »when I come to think of it thats very
extraordinary«
As the hearers did not echo this sentiment but remained profoundly silent
either as not knowing what to say or as being unwilling to interrupt Mrs
Nickleby pursued the thread of her discourse after her own fashion
»I hope« said that lady »that this unaccountable conduct may not be the
beginning of his taking to his bed and living there all his life like the
Thirsty Woman of Tutbury or the Cocklane Ghost or some of those extraordinary
creatures One of them had some connexion with our family I forget without
looking back to some old letters I have up stairs whether it was my
greatgrandfather who went to school with the Cocklane Ghost or the Thirsty
Woman of Tutbury who went to school with my grandmother Miss La Creevy you
know of course Which was it that didnt mind what the clergyman said The
Cocklane Ghost or the Thirsty Woman of Tutbury«
»The Cocklane Ghost I believe«
»Then I have no doubt« said Mrs Nickleby »that it was with him my
greatgrandfather went to school for I know the master of his school was a
dissenter and that would in a great measure account for the Cocklane Ghosts
behaving in such an improper manner to the clergyman when he grew up Ah Train
up a Ghost child I mean «
Any further reflections on this fruitful theme were abruptly cut short by
the arrival of Tim Linkinwater and Mr Frank Cheeryble in the hurry of
receiving whom Mrs Nickleby speedily lost sight of everything else
»I am so sorry Nicholas is not at home« said Mrs Nickleby »Kate my dear
you must be both Nicholas and yourself«
»Miss Nickleby need be but herself« said Frank
»Then at all events she shall press you to stay« returned Mrs Nickleby
»Mr Linkinwater says ten minutes but I cannot let you go so soon Nicholas
would be very much vexed I am sure Kate my dear«
In obedience to a great number of nods and winks and frowns of extra
significance Kate added her entreaties that the visitors would remain but it
was observable that she addressed them exclusively to Tim Linkinwater and there
was besides a certain embarrassment in her manner which although it was as
far from impairing its graceful character as the tinge it communicated to her
cheek was from diminishing her beauty was obvious at a glance even to Mrs
Nickleby Not being of a very speculative character however save under
circumstances when her speculations could be put into words and uttered aloud
that discreet matron attributed the emotion to the circumstance of her
daughters not happening to have her best frock on »though I never saw her look
better certainly« she reflected at the same time Having settled the question
in this way and being most complacently satisfied that in this as in all other
instances her conjecture could not fail to be the right one Mrs Nickleby
dismissed it from her thoughts and inwardly congratulated herself on being so
shrewd and knowing
Nicholas did not come home nor did Smike reappear but neither
circumstance to say the truth had any great effect upon the little party who
were all in the best humour possible Indeed there sprung up quite a flirtation
between Miss La Creevy and Tim Linkinwater who said a thousand jocose and
facetious things and became by degrees quite gallant not to say tender
Little Miss La Creevy on her part was in high spirits and rallied Tim on
having remained a bachelor all his life with so much success that Tim was
actually induced to declare that if he could get anybody to have him he didnt
know but what he might change his condition even yet Miss La Creevy earnestly
recommended a lady she knew who would exactly suit Mr Linkinwater and had a
very comfortable property of her own but this latter qualification had very
little effect upon Tim who manfully protested that fortune would be no object
with him but that true worth and cheerfulness of disposition were what a man
should look for in a wife and that if he had these he could find money enough
for the moderate wants of both This avowal was considered so honorable to Tim
that neither Mrs Nickleby nor Miss La Creevy could sufficiently extol it and
stimulated by their praises Tim launched out into several other declarations
also manifesting the disinterestedness of his heart and a great devotion to the
fair sex which were received with no less approbation This was done and said
with a comical mixture of jest and earnest and leading to a great amount of
laughter made them very merry indeed
Kate was commonly the life and soul of the conversation at home but she was
more silent than usual upon this occasion perhaps because Tim and Miss La
Creevy engrossed so much of it and keeping aloof from the talkers sat at the
window watching the shadows as the evening closed in and enjoying the quiet
beauty of the night which seemed to have scarcely less attractions for Frank
who first lingered near and then sat down beside her No doubt there are a
great many things to be said appropriate to a summer evening and no doubt they
are best said in a low voice as being most suitable to the peace and serenity
of the hour long pauses too at times and then an earnest word or so and
then another interval of silence which somehow does not seem like silence
either and perhaps now and then a hasty turning away of the head or drooping
of the eyes towards the ground all these minor circumstances with a
disinclination to have candles introduced and a tendency to confuse hours with
minutes are doubtless mere influences of the time as many lovely lips can
clearly testify Neither was there the slightest reason why Mrs Nickleby should
have expressed surprise when candles being at length brought in Kates bright
eyes were unable to bear the light which obliged her to avert her face and even
to leave the room for some short time because when one has sat in the dark so
long candles are dazzling and nothing can be more strictly natural than that
such results should be produced as all wellinformed young people know For
that matter old people know it too or did know it once but they forget these
things sometimes and mores the pity
The good ladys surprise however did not end here It was greatly
increased when it was discovered that Kate had not the least appetite for
supper a discovery so alarming that there is no knowing in what unaccountable
efforts of oratory Mrs Nicklebys apprehensions might have been vented if the
general attention had not been attracted at the moment by a very strange and
uncommon noise proceeding as the pale and trembling servantgirl affirmed and
as everybodys sense of hearing seemed to affirm also right down the chimney of
the adjoining room
It being quite plain to the comprehension of all present that however
extraordinary and improbable it might appear the noise did nevertheless proceed
from the chimney in question and the noise which was a strange compound of
various shuffling sliding rumbling and struggling sounds all muffled by the
chimney still continuing Frank Cheeryble caught up a candle and Tim
Linkinwater the tongs and they would have very quickly ascertained the cause of
this disturbance if Mrs Nickleby had not been taken very faint and declined
being left behind on any account This produced a short remonstrance which
terminated in their all proceeding to the troubled chamber in a body excepting
only Miss La Creevy who as the servantgirl volunteered a confession of having
been subject to fits in her infancy remained with her to give the alarm and
apply restoratives in case of extremity
Advancing to the door of the mysterious apartment they were not a little
surprised to hear a human voice chaunting with a highly elaborated expression
of melancholy and in tones of suffocation which a human voice might have
produced from under five or six featherbeds of the best quality the once
popular air of »Has she then failed in her truth the beautiful maid I adore«
Nor on bursting into the room without demanding a parley was their
astonishment lessened by the discovery that these romantic sounds certainly
proceeded from the throat of some man up the chimney of whom nothing was
visible but a pair of legs which were dangling above the grate apparently
feeling with extreme anxiety for the top bar whereon to effect a landing
A sight so unusual and unbusinesslike as this completely paralysed Tim
Linkinwater who after one or two gentle pinches at the strangers ankles
which were productive of no effect stood clapping the tongs together as if he
were sharpening them for another assault and did nothing else
»This must be some drunken fellow« said Frank »No thief would announce his
presence thus«
As he said this with great indignation he raised the candle to obtain a
better view of the legs and was darting forward to pull them down with very
little ceremony when Mrs Nickleby clasping her hands uttered a sharp sound
something between a scream and an exclamation and demanded to know whether the
mysterious limbs were not clad in smallclothes and grey worsted stockings or
whether her eyes had deceived her
»Yes« cried Frank looking a little closer »Smallclothes certainly and
and rough grey stockings too Do you know him maam«
»Kate my dear« said Mrs Nickleby deliberately sitting herself down in a
chair with that sort of desperate resignation which seemed to imply that now
matters had come to a crisis and all disguise was useless »you will have the
goodness my love to explain precisely how this matter stands I have given him
no encouragement none whatever not the least in the world You know that my
dear perfectly well He was very respectful exceedingly respectful when he
declared as you were a witness to still at the same time if I am to be
persecuted in this way if vegetable whatshisnames and all kinds of
gardenstuff are to strew my path out of doors and gentlemen are to come
choking up our chimneys at home I really dont know upon my word I do not
know what is to become of me Its a very hard case harder than anything I
was ever exposed to before I married your poor dear papa though I suffered a
good deal of annoyance then but that of course I expected and made up my
mind for When I was not nearly so old as you my dear there was a young
gentleman who sat next us at church who used almost every Sunday to cut my
name in large letters in the front of his pew while the sermon was going on It
was gratifying of course naturally so but still it was an annoyance because
the pew was in a very conspicuous place and he was several times publicly taken
out by the beadle for doing it But that was nothing to this This is a great
deal worse and a great deal more embarrassing I would rather Kate my dear«
said Mrs Nickleby with great solemnity and an effusion of tears »I would
rather I declare have been a pigfaced lady than be exposed to such a life as
this«
Frank Cheeryble and Tim Linkinwater looked in irrepressible astonishment
first at each other and then at Kate who felt that some explanation was
necessary but who between her terror at the apparition of the legs her fear
lest their owner should be smothered and her anxiety to give the least
ridiculous solution of the mystery that it was capable of bearing was quite
unable to utter a single word
»He gives me great pain« continued Mrs Nickleby drying her eyes »great
pain but dont hurt a hair of his head I beg On no account hurt a hair of his
head«
It would not under existing circumstances have been quite so easy to hurt
a hair of the gentlemans head as Mrs Nickleby seemed to imagine inasmuch as
that part of his person was some feet up the chimney which was by no means a
wide one But as all this time he had never left off singing about the
bankruptcy of the beautiful maid in respect of truth and now began not only to
croak very feebly but to kick with great violence as if respiration became a
task of difficulty Frank Cheeryble without further hesitation pulled at the
shorts and worsteds with such heartiness as to bring him floundering into the
room with greater precipitation than he had quite calculated upon
»Oh yes yes« said Kate directly the whole figure of this singular
visitor appeared in this abrupt manner »I know who it is Pray dont be rough
with him Is he hurt I hope not Oh pray see if he is hurt«
»He is not I assure you« replied Frank handling the object of his
surprise after this appeal with sudden tenderness and respect »He is not hurt
in the least«
»Dont let him come any nearer« said Kate retiring as far as she could
»No no he shall not« rejoined Frank »You see I have him secure here But
may I ask you what this means and whether you expected this old gentleman«
»Oh no« said Kate »of course not but he mama does not think so I
believe but he is a mad gentleman who has escaped from the next house and
must have found an opportunity of secreting himself here«
»Kate« interposed Mrs Nickleby with severe dignity »I am surprised at
you«
»Dear mama« Kate gently remonstrated
»I am surprised at you« repeated Mrs Nickleby »upon my word Kate I am
quite astonished that you should join the persecutors of this unfortunate
gentleman when you know very well that they have the basest designs upon his
property and that that is the whole secret of it It would be much kinder of
you Kate to ask Mr Linkinwater or Mr Cheeryble to interfere in his behalf
and see him righted You ought not to allow your feelings to influence you its
not right very far from it What should my feelings be do you suppose If
anybody ought to be indignant who is it I of course and very properly so
Still at the same time I wouldnt commit such an injustice for the world No«
continued Mrs Nickleby drawing herself up and looking another way with a kind
of bashful stateliness »this gentleman will understand me when I tell him that
I repeat the answer I gave him the other day that I always will repeat it
though I do believe him to be sincere when I find him placing himself in such
dreadful situations on my account and that I request him to have the goodness
to go away directly or it will be impossible to keep his behaviour a secret
from my son Nicholas I am obliged to him very much obliged to him but I
cannot listen to his addresses for a moment Its quite impossible«
While this address was in course of delivery the old gentleman with his
nose and cheeks embellished with large patches of soot sat upon the ground with
his arms folded eyeing the spectators in profound silence and with a very
majestic demeanour He did not appear to take the smallest notice of what Mrs
Nickleby said but when she ceased to speak he honored her with a long stare
and inquired if she had quite finished
»I have nothing more to say« replied that lady modestly »I really cannot
say anything more«
»Very good« said the old gentleman raising his voice »then bring in the
bottled lightning a clean tumbler and a corkscrew«
Nobody executing this order the old gentleman after a short pause raised
his voice again and demanded a thunder sandwich This article not being
forthcoming either he requested to be served with a fricassee of boottops and
goldfish sauce and then laughing heartily gratified his hearers with a very
long very loud and most melodious bellow
But still Mrs Nickleby in reply to the significant looks of all about her
shook her head as though to assure them that she saw nothing whatever in all
this unless indeed it were a slight degree of eccentricity She might have
remained impressed with these opinions down to the latest moment of her life
but for a slight train of circumstances which trivial as they were altered
the whole complexion of the case
It happened that Miss La Creevy finding her patient in no very threatening
condition and being strongly impelled by curiosity to see what was going
forward bustled into the room while the old gentleman was in the very act of
bellowing It happened too that the instant the old gentleman saw her he
stopped short skipped suddenly on his feet and fell to kissing his hand
violently a change of demeanour which almost terrified the little
portraitpainter out of her senses and caused her to retreat behind Tim
Linkinwater with the utmost expedition
»Aha« cried the old gentleman folding his hands and squeezing them with
great force against each other »I see her now I see her now My love my life
my bride my peerless beauty She is come at last at last and all is gas and
gaiters«
Mrs Nickleby looked rather disconcerted for a moment but immediately
recovering nodded to Miss La Creevy and the other spectators several times and
frowned and smiled gravely giving them to understand that she saw where the
mistake was and would set it all to rights in a minute or two
»She is come« said the old gentleman laying his hand upon his heart
»Cormoran and Blunderbore She is come All the wealth I have is hers if she
will take me for her slave Where are grace beauty and blandishments like
those In the Empress of Madagascar No In the Queen of Diamonds No In Mrs
Rowland who every morning bathes in Kalydor for nothing No Melt all these
down into one with the three graces the nine Muses and fourteen
biscuitbakers daughters from Oxfordstreet and make a woman half as lovely
Pho I defy you«
After uttering this rhapsody the old gentleman snapped his fingers twenty
or thirty times and then subsided into an ecstatic contemplation of Miss La
Creevys charms This affording Mrs Nickleby a favourable opportunity of
explanation she went about it straight
»I am sure« said the worthy lady with a prefatory cough »that its a
great relief under such trying circumstances as these to have anybody else
mistaken for me a very great relief and its a circumstance that never
occurred before although I have several times been mistaken for my daughter
Kate I have no doubt the people were very foolish and perhaps ought to have
known better but still they did take me for her and of course that was no
fault of mine and it would be very hard indeed if I was to be made responsible
for it However in this instance of course I must feel that I should do
exceedingly wrong if I suffered anybody especially anybody that I am under
great obligations to to be made uncomfortable on my account And therefore I
think it my duty to tell that gentleman that he is mistaken that I am the lady
who he was told by some impertinent person was niece to the Council of
Pavingstones and that I do beg and intreat of him to go quietly away if its
only for« here Mrs Nickleby simpered and hesitated »for my sake«
It might have been expected that the old gentleman would have been
penetrated to the heart by the delicacy and condescension of this appeal and
that he would at least have returned a courteous and suitable reply What then
was the shock which Mrs Nickleby received when accosting her in the most
unmistakeable manner he replied in a loud and sonorous voice »Avaunt Cat«
»Sir« cried Mrs Nickleby in a faint tone
»Cat« repeated the old gentleman »Puss Kit Tit Grimalkin Tabby
Brindle Whoosh« With which last sound uttered in a hissing manner between his
teeth the old gentleman swung his arms violently round and round and at the
same time alternately advanced on Mrs Nickleby and retreated from her in that
species of savage dance with which boys on marketdays may be seen to frighten
pigs sheep and other animals when they give out obstinate indications of
turning down a wrong street
Mrs Nickleby wasted no words but uttered an exclamation of horror and
surprise and immediately fainted away
»Ill attend to mama« said Kate hastily »I am not at all frightened But
pray take him away pray take him away«
Frank was not at all confident of his power of complying with this request
until he bethought himself of the stratagem of sending Miss La Creevy on a few
paces in advance and urging the old gentleman to follow her It succeeded to a
miracle and he went away in a rapture of admiration strongly guarded by Tim
Linkinwater on one side and Frank himself on the other
»Kate« murmured Mrs Nickleby reviving when the coast was clear »is he
gone«
She was assured that he was
»I shall never forgive myself Kate« said Mrs Nickleby »Never That
gentleman has lost his senses and I am the unhappy cause«
»You the cause« said Kate greatly astonished
»I my love« replied Mrs Nickleby with a desperate calmness »You saw
what he was the other day you see what he is now I told your brother weeks
and weeks ago Kate that I hoped a disappointment might not be too much for
him You see what a wreck he is Making allowance for his being a little
flighty you know how rationally and sensibly and honorably he talked when we
saw him in the garden You have heard the dreadful nonsense he has been guilty
of this night and the manner in which he has gone on with that poor
unfortunate little old maid Can anybody doubt how all this has been brought
about«
»I should scarcely think they could« said Kate mildly
»I should scarcely think so either« rejoined her mother »Well if I am
the unfortunate cause of this I have the satisfaction of knowing that I am not
to blame I told Nicholas I said to him Nicholas my dear we should be very
careful how we proceed He would scarcely hear me If the matter had only been
properly taken up at first as I wished it to be But you are both of you so
like your poor papa However I have my consolation and that should be enough
for me«
Washing her hands thus of all responsibility under this head past
present or to come Mrs Nickleby kindly added that she hoped her children
might never have greater cause to reproach themselves than she had and prepared
herself to receive the escort who soon returned with the intelligence that the
old gentleman was safely housed and that they found his custodians who had
been making merry with some friends wholly ignorant of his absence
Quiet being again restored a delicious half hour so Frank called it in
the course of subsequent conversation with Tim Linkinwater as they were walking
home was spent in conversation and Tims watch at length apprising him that
it was high time to depart the ladies were left alone though not without many
offers on the part of Frank to remain until Nicholas arrived no matter what
hour of the night it might be if after the late neighbourly irruption they
entertained the least fear of being left to themselves As their freedom from
all further apprehension however left no pretext for his insisting on mounting
guard he was obliged to abandon the citadel and to retire with the trusty Tim
Nearly three hours of silence passed away Kate blushed to find when
Nicholas returned how long she had been sitting alone occupied with her own
thoughts
»I really thought it had not been half an hour« she said
»They must have been pleasant thoughts Kate« rejoined Nicholas gaily »to
make time pass away like that What were they now«
Kate was confused she toyed with some trifle on the table looked up and
smiled looked down and dropped a tear
»Why Kate« said Nicholas drawing his sister towards him and kissing her
»let me see your face No Ah that was but a glimpse thats scarcely fair A
longer look than that Kate Come and Ill read your thoughts for you«
There was something in this proposition albeit it was said without the
slightest consciousness or application which so alarmed his sister that
Nicholas laughingly changed the subject to domestic matters and thus gathered
by degrees as they left the room and went up stairs together how lonely Smike
had been all night and by very slow degrees too for on this subject also
Kate seemed to speak with some reluctance
»Poor fellow« said Nicholas tapping gently at his door »what can be the
cause of all this«
Kate was hanging on her brothers arm The door being quickly opened she
had not time to disengage herself before Smike very pale and haggard and
completely dressed confronted them
»And have you not been to bed« said Nicholas
»Nnno« was the reply
Nicholas gently detained his sister who made an effort to retire and
asked »Why not«
»I could not sleep« said Smike grasping the hand which his friend extended
to him
»You are not well« rejoined Nicholas
»I am better indeed A great deal better« said Smike quickly
»Then why do you give way to these fits of melancholy« inquired Nicholas
in his kindest manner »or why not tell us the cause You grow a different
creature Smike«
»I do I know I do« he replied »I will tell you the reason one day but
not now I hate myself for this you are all so good and kind But I cannot help
it My heart is very full you do not know how full it is«
He wrung Nicholass hand before he released it and glancing for a moment
at the brother and sister as they stood together as if there were something in
their strong affection which touched him deeply withdrew into his chamber and
was soon the only watcher under that quiet roof
Chapter L
Involves a Serious Catastrophe
The little racecourse at Hampton was in the full tide and height of its gaiety
the day as dazzling as day could be the sun high in the cloudless sky and
shining in its fullest splendour Every gaudy colour that fluttered in the air
from carriage seat and garish tent top shone out in its gaudiest hues Old
dingy flags grew new again faded gilding was reburnished stained rotten
canvas looked a snowy white the very beggars rags were freshened up and
sentiment quite forgot its charity in its fervent admiration of poverty so
picturesque
It was one of those scenes of life and animation caught in its very
brightest and freshest moments which can scarcely fail to please for if the
eye be tired of show and glare or the ear be weary with a ceaseless round of
noise the one may repose turn almost where it will on eager happy and
expectant faces and the other deaden all consciousness of more annoying sounds
in those of mirth and exhilaration Even the sunburnt faces of gipsy children
half naked though they be suggest a drop of comfort It is a pleasant thing to
see that the sun has been there to know that the air and light are on them
every day to feel that they are children and lead childrens lives that if
their pillows be damp it is with the dews of Heaven and not with tears that
the limbs of their girls are free and that they are not crippled by
distortions imposing an unnatural and horrible penance upon their sex that
their lives are spent from day to day at least among the waving trees and not
in the midst of dreadful engines which make young children old before they know
what childhood is and give them the exhaustion and infirmity of age without
like age the privilege to die God send that old nursery tales were true and
that gipsies stole such children by the score
The great race of the day had just been run and the close lines of people
on either side of the course suddenly breaking up and pouring into it imparted
a new liveliness to the scene which was again all busy movement Some hurried
eagerly to catch a glimpse of the winning horse others darted to and fro
searching no less eagerly for the carriages they had left in quest of better
stations Here a little knot gathered round a pea and thimble table to watch
the plucking of some unhappy greenhorn and there another proprietor with his
confederates in various disguises one man in spectacles another with an
eyeglass and a stylish hat a third dressed as a farmer well to do in the
world with his topcoat over his arm and his flash notes in a large leathern
pocketbook and all with heavyhandled whips to represent most innocent country
fellows who had trotted there on horseback sought by loud and noisy talk and
pretended play to entrap some unwary customer while the gentlemen confederates
of more villanous aspect still in clean linen and good clothes betrayed
their close interest in the concern by the anxious furtive glance they cast on
all new comers These would be hanging on the outskirts of a wide circle of
people assembled round some itinerant juggler opposed in his turn by a noisy
band of music or the classic game of Ring the Bull while ventriloquists
holding dialogues with wooden dolls and fortunetelling women smothering the
cries of real babies divided with them and many more the general attention of
the company Drinkingtents were full glasses began to clink in carriages
hampers to be unpacked tempting provisions to be set forth knives and forks to
rattle champagne corks to fly eyes to brighten that were not dull before and
pickpockets to count their gains during the last heat The attention so recently
strained on one object of interest was now divided among a hundred and look
where you would there was a motley assemblage of feasting laughing talking
begging gambling and mummery
Of the gamblingbooths there was a plentiful show flourishing in all the
splendour of carpeted ground striped hangings crimson cloth pinnacled roofs
geranium pots and livery servants There were the Strangers clubhouse the
Athenæum clubhouse the Hampton clubhouse the Saint Jamess clubhouse
halfamile of clubhouses to play in and there were rougeetnoir French
hazard and other games to play at It is into one of these booths that our
story takes its way
Fitted up with three tables for the purposes of play and crowded with
players and lookers on it was although the largest place of the kind upon the
course intensely hot notwithstanding that a portion of the canvas roof was
rolled back to admit more air and there were two doors for a free passage in
and out Excepting one or two men who each with a long roll of halfcrowns
chequered with a few stray sovereigns in his left hand staked their money at
every roll of the ball with a businesslike sedateness which showed that they
were used to it and had been playing all day and most probably all the day
before there was no very distinctive character about the players They were
chiefly young men apparently attracted by curiosity or staking small sums as
part of the amusement of the day with no very great interest in winning or
losing There were two persons present however who as peculiarly good
specimens of a class deserve a passing notice
Of these one was a man of six or eight and fifty who sat on a chair near
one of the entrances of the booth with his hands folded on the top of his
stick and his chin appearing above them He was a tall fat longbodied man
buttoned up to the throat in a light green coat which made his body look still
longer than it was He wore besides drab breeches and gaiters a white
neckerchief and a broadbrimmed white hat Amid all the buzzing noise of the
games and the perpetual passing in and out of people he seemed perfectly calm
and abstracted without the smallest particle of excitement in his composition
He exhibited no indication of weariness nor to a casual observer of interest
either There he sat quite still and collected Sometimes but very rarely he
nodded to some passing face or beckoned to a waiter to obey a call from one of
the tables The next instant he subsided into his old state He might have been
some profoundly deaf old gentleman who had come in to take a rest or he might
have been patiently waiting for a friend without the least consciousness of
anybodys presence or he might have been fixed in a trance or under the
influence of opium People turned round and looked at him he made no gesture
caught nobodys eye let them pass away and others come on and be succeeded by
others and took no notice When he did move it seemed wonderful how he could
have seen anything to occasion it And so in truth it was But there was not a
face that passed in or out which this man failed to see not a gesture at any
one of the three tables that was lost upon him not a word spoken by the
bankers but reached his ear not a winner or loser he could not have marked
And he was the proprietor of the place
The other presided over the rougeetnoir table He was probably some ten
years younger and was a plump paunchy sturdylooking fellow with his
underlip a little pursed from a habit of counting money inwardly as he paid
it but with no decidedly bad expression in his face which was rather an honest
and jolly one than otherwise He wore no coat the weather being hot and stood
behind the table with a huge mound of crowns and halfcrowns before him and a
cashbox for notes This game was constantly playing Perhaps twenty people
would be staking at the same time This man had to roll the ball to watch the
stakes as they were laid down to gather them off the colour which lost to pay
those who won to do it all with the utmost despatch to roll the ball again
and to keep this game perpetually alive He did it all with a rapidity
absolutely marvellous never hesitating never making a mistake never stopping
and never ceasing to repeat such unconnected phrases as the following which
partly from habit and partly to have something appropriate and businesslike to
say he constantly poured out with the same monotonous emphasis and in nearly
the same order all day long
»Roogeanore from Paris Gentlemen make your game and back your own
opinions any time while the ball rolls roogeanore from Paris gentlemen
its a French game gentlemen I brought it over myself I did indeed
Roogeanore from Paris black wins black stop a minute sir and Ill pay
you directly two there half a pound there three there and one there
gentlemen the balls a rolling any time sir while the ball rolls The
beauty of this game is that you can double your stakes or put down your money
gentlemen any time while the ball rolls black again black wins I never
saw such a thing I never did in all my life upon my word I never did if any
gentleman had been backing the black in the last five minutes he must have won
five and forty pound in four rolls of the ball he must indeed Gentlemen weve
port sherry cigars and most excellent champagne Here waiter bring a
bottle of champagne and lets have a dozen or fifteen cigars here and lets
be comfortable gentlemen and bring some clean glasses any time while the
ball rolls I lost one hundred and thirtyseven pound yesterday gentlemen at
one roll of the ball I did indeed how do you do sir« recognising some
knowing gentleman without any halt or change of voice and giving a wink so
slight that it seems an accident »will you take a glass of sherry sir here
waiter bring a clean glass and hand the sherry to this gentleman and hand
it round will you waiter this is the roogeanore from Paris gentlemen
any time while the ball rolls gentlemen make your game and back your own
opinions its the roogeanore from Paris quite a new game I brought it
over myself I did indeed gentlemen the balls a rolling«
This officer was busily plying his vocation when halfadozen persons
sauntered through the booth to whom but without stopping either in his speech
or work he bowed respectfully at the same time directing by a look the
attention of a man beside him to the tallest figure in the group in recognition
of whom the proprietor pulled off his hat This was Sir Mulberry Hawk with whom
were his friend and pupil and a small train of gentlemanlydressed men of
characters more doubtful than obscure
The proprietor in a low voice bade Sir Mulberry good day Sir Mulberry in
the same tone bade the proprietor go to the devil and turned to speak with his
friends
There was evidently an irritable consciousness about him that he was an
object of curiosity on this first occasion of showing himself in public after
the accident that had befallen him and it was easy to perceive that he appeared
on the racecourse that day more in the hope of meeting with a great many
people who knew him and so getting over as much as possible of the annoyance at
once than with any purpose of enjoying the sport There yet remained a slight
scar on his face and whenever he was recognised as he was almost every minute
by people sauntering in and out he made a restless effort to conceal it with
his glove showing how keenly he felt the disgrace he had undergone
»Ah Hawk« said one very sprucely dressed personage in a Newmarket coat a
choice neckerchief and all other accessories of the most unexceptionable kind
»How dye do old fellow«
This was a rival trainer of young noblemen and gentlemen and the person of
all others whom Sir Mulberry most hated and dreaded to meet They shook hands
with excessive cordiality
»And how are you now old fellow hey«
»Quite well quite well« said Sir Mulberry
»Thats right« said the other »How dye do Lord Frederick Hes a little
pulled down our friend here Rather out of condition still hey«
It should be observed that the gentleman had very white teeth and that when
there was no excuse for laughing he generally finished with the same
monosyllable which he uttered so as to display them
»Hes in very good condition theres nothing the matter with him« said the
young man carelessly
»Upon my soul Im glad to hear it« rejoined the other »Have you just
returned from Brussels«
»We only reached town late last night« said Lord Frederick Sir Mulberry
turned away to speak to one of his own party and feigned not to hear
»Now upon my life« said the friend affecting to speak in a whisper »its
an uncommonly bold and game thing in Hawk to show himself so soon I say it
advisedly theres a vast deal of courage in it You see he has just rusticated
long enough to excite curiosity and not long enough for men to have forgotten
that deuced unpleasant by the bye you know the rights of the affair of
course Why did you never give those confounded papers the lie I seldom read
the papers but I looked in the papers for that and may I be «
»Look in the papers« interrupted Sir Mulberry turning suddenly round
»tomorrow no next day«
»Upon my life my dear fellow I seldom or never read the papers« said the
other shrugging his shoulders »but I will at your recommendation What shall
I look for«
»Good day« said Sir Mulberry turning abruptly on his heel and drawing his
pupil with him Falling again into the loitering careless pace at which they
had entered they lounged out arm in arm
»I wont give him a case of murder to read« muttered Sir Mulberry with an
oath »but it shall be something very near it if whipcord cuts and bludgeons
bruise«
His companion said nothing but there was something in his manner which
galled Sir Mulberry to add with nearly as much ferocity as if his friend had
been Nicholas himself
»I sent Jenkins to old Nickleby before eight oclock this morning Hes a
staunch one he was back with me before the messenger I had it all from him in
the first five minutes I know where this hound is to be met with time and
place both But theres no need to talk tomorrow will soon be here«
»And whaats to be done tomorrow« inquired Lord Frederick
Sir Mulberry Hawk honored him with an angry glance but condescended to
return no verbal answer to the inquiry Both walked sullenly on as though their
thoughts were busily occupied until they were quite clear of the crowd and
almost alone when Sir Mulberry wheeled round to return
»Stop« said his companion »I want to speak to you in earnest Dont turn
back Let us walk here a few minutes«
»What have you to say to me that you could not say yonder as well as here«
returned his Mentor disengaging his arm
»Hawk« rejoined the other »tell me I must know«
»Must know« interrupted the other disdainfully »Whew Go on If you must
know of course theres no escape for me Must know«
»Must ask then« returned Lord Frederick »and must press you for a plain
and straightforward answer Is what you have just said only a mere whim of the
moment occasioned by your being out of humour and irritated or is it your
serious intention and one that you have actually contemplated«
»Why dont you remember what passed on the subject one night when I was
laid up with a broken limb« said Sir Mulberry with a sneer
»Perfectly well«
»Then take that for an answer in the devils name« replied Sir Mulberry
»and ask me for no other«
Such was the ascendancy he had acquired over his dupe and such the latters
general habit of submission that for the moment the young man seemed
halfafraid to pursue the subject He soon overcame this feeling however if it
had restrained him at all and retorted angrily
»If I remember what passed at the time you speak of I expressed a strong
opinion on this subject and said that with my knowledge or consent you never
should do what you threaten now«
»Will you prevent me« asked Sir Mulberry with a laugh
»Yees if I can« returned the other promptly
»A very proper saving clause that last« said Sir Mulberry »and one you
stand in need of Look to your own business and leave me to look to mine«
»This is mine« retorted Lord Frederick »I make it mine I will make it
mine Its mine already I am more compromised than I should be as it is«
»Do as you please and what you please for yourself« said Sir Mulberry
affecting an easy good humour »Surely that must content you Do nothing for me
thats all I advise no man to interfere in proceedings that I choose to take I
am sure you know me better than to do so The fact is I see you mean to offer
me advice It is well meant I have no doubt but I reject it Now if you
please we will return to the carriage I find no entertainment here but quite
the reverse If we prolong this conversation we might quarrel which would be
no proof of wisdom in either you or me«
With this rejoinder and waiting for no further discussion Sir Mulberry
Hawk yawned and very leisurely turned back
There was not a little tact and knowledge of the young lords disposition in
this mode of treating him Sir Mulberry clearly saw that if his dominion were to
last it must be established now He knew that the moment he became violent the
young man would become violent too He had many times been enabled to
strengthen his influence when any circumstance had occurred to weaken it by
adopting this cool and laconic style and he trusted to it now with very little
doubt of its entire success
But while he did this and wore the most careless and indifferent deportment
that his practised arts enabled him to assume he inwardly resolved not only to
visit all the mortification of being compelled to suppress his feelings with
additional severity upon Nicholas but also to make the young lord pay dearly
for it one day in some shape or other So long as he had been a passive
instrument in his hands Sir Mulberry had regarded him with no other feeling
than contempt but now that he presumed to avow opinions in opposition to his
and even to turn upon him with a lofty tone and an air of superiority he began
to hate him Conscious that in the vilest and most worthless sense of the term,
he was dependent upon the weak young lord Sir Mulberry could the less brook
humiliation at his hands and when he began to dislike him he measured his
dislike as men often do by the extent of the injuries he had inflicted upon
its object. When it is remembered that Sir Mulberry Hawk had plundered duped
deceived and fooled his pupil in every possible way it will not be wondered
at that beginning to hate him he began to hate him cordially
On the other hand the young lord having thought which he very seldom did
about anything and seriously too upon the affair with Nicholas and the
circumstances which led to it had arrived at a manly and honest conclusion Sir
Mulberrys coarse and insulting behaviour on the occasion in question had
produced a deep impression on his mind a strong suspicion of his having led him
on to pursue Miss Nickleby for purposes of his own had been lurking there for
some time he was really ashamed of his share in the transaction and deeply
mortified by the misgiving that he had been gulled He had had sufficient
leisure to reflect upon these things during their late retirement and at
times when his careless and indolent nature would permit had availed himself
of the opportunity Slight circumstances too had occurred to increase his
suspicion It wanted but a very slight circumstance to kindle his wrath against
Sir Mulberry This his disdainful and insolent tone in their recent conversation
the only one they had held upon the subject since the period to which Sir
Mulberry referred effected
Thus they rejoined their friends each with causes of dislike against the
other rankling in his breast the young man haunted besides with thoughts of
the vindictive retaliation which was threatened against Nicholas and the
determination to prevent it by some strong step if possible But this was not
all Sir Mulberry conceiving that he had silenced him effectually could not
suppress his triumph or forbear from following up what he conceived to be his
advantage Mr Pyke was there and Mr Pluck was there and Colonel Chowser and
other gentlemen of the same caste were there and it was a great point for Sir
Mulberry to show them that he had not lost his influence At first the young
lord contented himself with a silent determination to take measures for
withdrawing himself from the connection immediately By degrees he grew more
angry and was exasperated by jests and familiarities which a few hours
before would have been a source of amusement to him This did not serve him
for at such bantering or retort as suited the company he was no match for Sir
Mulberry Still no violent rupture took place They returned to town Messrs
Pyke and Pluck and other gentlemen frequently protesting on the way thither
that Sir Mulberry had never been in such tiptop spirits in all his life
They dined together sumptuously The wine flowed freely as indeed it had
done all day Sir Mulberry drank to recompense himself for his recent
abstinence the young lord to drown his indignation the remainder of the
party because the wine was of the best and they had nothing to pay It was
nearly midnight when they rushed out wild burning with wine their blood
boiling and their brains on fire to the gamingtable
Here they encountered another party mad like themselves The excitement of
play hot rooms and glaring lights was not calculated to allay the fever of
the time In that giddy whirl of noise and confusion the men were delirious
Who thought of money ruin or the morrow in the savage intoxication of the
moment More wine was called for glass after glass was drained their parched
and scalding mouths were cracked with thirst Down poured the wine like oil on
blazing fire And still the riot went on The debauchery gained its height
glasses were dashed upon the floor by hands that could not carry them to lips
oaths were shouted out by lips which could scarcely form the words to vent them
in drunken losers cursed and roared some mounted on the tables waving bottles
above their heads and bidding defiance to the rest some danced some sang
some tore the cards and raved Tumult and frenzy reigned supreme when a noise
arose that drowned all others and two men seizing each other by the throat
struggled into the middle of the room
A dozen voices until now unheard called aloud to part them Those who had
kept themselves cool to win and who earned their living in such scenes threw
themselves upon the combatants and forcing them asunder dragged them some
space apart
»Let me go« cried Sir Mulberry in a thick hoarse voice »He struck me Do
you hear I say he struck me Have I a friend here Who is this Westwood Do
you hear me say he struck me«
»I hear I hear« replied one of those who held him »Come away for
tonight«
»I will not by G« he replied »A dozen men about us saw the blow«
»Tomorrow will be ample time« said the friend
»It will not be ample time« cried Sir Mulberry »Tonight at once here«
His passion was so great that he could not articulate but stood clenching his
fist tearing his hair and stamping on the ground
»What is this my lord« said one of those who surrounded him »Have blows
passed«
»One blow has« was the panting reply »I struck him I proclaim it to all
here I struck him and he knows why I say with him let this quarrel be
adjusted now Captain Adams« said the young lord looking hurriedly about him
and addressing one of those who had interposed »let me speak with you I beg«
The person addressed stepped forward and taking the young mans arm they
retired together followed shortly afterwards by Sir Mulberry and his friend
It was a profligate haunt of the worst repute and not a place in which such
an affair was likely to awaken any sympathy for either party or to call forth
any further remonstrance or interposition Elsewhere its further progress would
have been instantly prevented and time allowed for sober and cool reflection
but not there Disturbed in their orgies the party broke up some reeled away
with looks of tipsy gravity others withdrew noisily discussing what had just
occurred the gentlemen of honor who lived upon their winnings remarked to each
other as they went out that Hawk was a good shot those who had been most
noisy fell fast asleep upon the sofas and thought no more about it
Meanwhile the two seconds as they may be called now after a long
conference each with his principal met together in another room Both utterly
heartless both men upon town both thoroughly initiated in its worst vices
both deeply in debt both fallen from some higher estate both addicted to every
depravity for which society can find some genteel name and plead its most
depraving conventionalities as an excuse they were naturally gentlemen of
unblemished honor themselves and of great nicety concerning the honor of other
people
These two gentlemen were unusually cheerful just now for the affair was
pretty certain to make some noise and could scarcely fail to enhance their
reputations
»This is an awkward affair Adams« said Mr Westwood drawing himself up
»Very« returned the captain »a blow has been struck and there is but one
course of course«
»No apology I suppose« said Mr Westwood
»Not a syllable sir from my man if we talk till doomsday« returned the
captain »The original cause of dispute I understand was some girl or other
to whom your principal applied certain terms which Lord Frederick defending
the girl repelled But this led to a long recrimination upon a great many sore
subjects charges and countercharges Sir Mulberry was sarcastic Lord
Frederick was excited and struck him in the heat of provocation and under
circumstances of great aggravation That blow unless there is a full retraction
on the part of Sir Mulberry Lord Frederick is ready to justify«
»There is no more to be said« returned the other »but to settle the hour
and the place of meeting Its a responsibility but there is a strong feeling
to have it over Do you object to say at sunrise«
»Sharp work« replied the captain referring to his watch »however as this
seems to have been a long time breeding and negotiation is only a waste of
words no«
»Something may possibly be said out of doors after what passed in the
other room which renders it desirable that we should be off without delay and
quite clear of town« said Mr Westwood »What do you say to one of the meadows
opposite Twickenham by the riverside«
The captain saw no objection
»Shall we join company in the avenue of trees which leads from Petersham to
Ham House and settle the exact spot when we arrive there« said Mr Westwood
To this the captain also assented After a few other preliminaries equally
brief and having settled the road each party should take to avoid suspicion
they separated
»We shall just have comfortable time my lord« said the captain when he
had communicated the arrangements »to call at my rooms for a case of pistols
and then jog coolly down If you will allow me to dismiss your servant well
take my cab for yours perhaps might be recognised«
What a contrast when they reached the street to the scene they had just
left It was already daybreak For the flaring yellow light within was
substituted the clear bright glorious morning for a hot close atmosphere
tainted with the smell of expiring lamps and reeking with the steams of riot
and dissipation the free fresh wholesome air But to the fevered head on
which that cool air blew it seemed to come laden with remorse for time
misspent and countless opportunities neglected With throbbing veins and
burning skin eyes wild and heavy thoughts hurried and disordered he felt as
though the light were a reproach and shrank involuntarily from the day as if he
were some foul and hideous thing
»Shivering« said the captain »You are cold«
»Rather«
»It does strike cool coming out of those hot rooms Wrap that cloak about
you So so now were off«
They rattled through the quiet streets made their call at the captains
lodgings cleared the town and emerged upon the open road without hindrance or
molestation
Fields trees gardens hedges everything looked very beautiful the young
man scarcely seemed to have noticed them before though he had passed the same
objects a thousand times There was a peace and serenity upon them all
strangely at variance with the bewilderment and confusion of his own
halfsobered thoughts and yet impressive and welcome He had no fear upon his
mind but as he looked about him he had less anger and though all old
delusions relative to his worthless late companion were now cleared away he
rather wished he had never known him than thought of its having come to this
The past night the day before and many other days and nights beside all
mingled themselves up in one unintelligible and senseless whirl he could not
separate the transactions of one time from those of another Now the noise of
the wheels resolved itself into some wild tune in which he could recognise
scraps of airs he knew now there was nothing in his ears but a stunning and
bewildering sound like rushing water But his companion rallied him on being so
silent and they talked and laughed boisterously When they stopped he was a
little surprised to find himself in the act of smoking but on reflection he
remembered when and where he had taken the cigar
They stopped at the avenue gate and alighted leaving the carriage to the
care of the servant who was a smart fellow and nearly as well accustomed to
such proceedings as his master Sir Mulberry and his friend were already there
All four walked in profound silence up the aisle of stately elm trees which
meeting far above their heads formed a long green perspective of gothic arches
terminating like some old ruin in the open sky
After a pause and a brief conference between the seconds they at length
turned to the right and taking a track across a little meadow passed Ham House
and came into some fields beyond In one of these they stopped The ground was
measured some usual forms gone through the two principals were placed front to
front at the distance agreed upon and Sir Mulberry turned his face towards his
young adversary for the first time He was very pale his eyes were bloodshot
his dress disordered and his hair dishevelled For the face it expressed
nothing but violent and evil passions He shaded his eyes with his hand gazed
at his opponent stedfastly for a few moments and then taking the weapon
which was tendered to him bent his eyes upon that and looked up no more until
the word was given when he instantly fired
The two shots were fired as nearly as possible at the same instant In
that instant the young lord turned his head sharply round fixed upon his
adversary a ghastly stare and without a groan or stagger fell down dead
»Hes gone« cried Westwood who with the other second had run up to the
body and fallen on one knee beside it
»His blood on his own head« said Sir Mulberry »He brought this upon
himself and forced it upon me«
»Captain Adams« cried Westwood hastily »I call you to witness that this
was fairly done Hawk we have not a moment to lose We must leave this place
immediately push for Brighton and cross to France with all speed This has
been a bad business and may be worse if we delay a moment Adams consult your
own safety and dont remain here the living before the dead good bye«
With these words he seized Sir Mulberry by the arm and hurried him away
Captain Adams only pausing to convince himself beyond all question of the
fatal result sped off in the same direction to concert measures with his
servant for removing the body and securing his own safety likewise
So died Lord Frederick Verisopht by the hand which he had loaded with
gifts and clasped a thousand times by the act of him but for whom and others
like him he might have lived a happy man and died with childrens faces round
his bed
The sun came proudly up in all his majesty the noble river ran its winding
course the leaves quivered and rustled in the air the birds poured their
cheerful songs from every tree the shortlived butterfly fluttered its little
wings all the light and life of day came on and amidst it all and pressing
down the grass whose every blade bore twenty tiny lives lay the dead man with
his stark and rigid face turned upward to the sky
Chapter LI
The Project of Mr Ralph Nickleby and His Friend Approaching a Successful
Issue Becomes Unexpectedly Known to Another Party Not Admitted into Their
Confidence
In an old house dismal dark and dusty which seemed to have withered like
himself and to have grown yellow and shrivelled in hoarding him from the light
of day as he had in hoarding his money lived Arthur Gride Meagre old chairs
and tables of spare and bony make and hard and cold as misers hearts were
ranged in grim array against the gloomy walls attenuated presses grown lank
and lanternjawed in guarding the treasures they inclosed and tottering as
though from constant fear and dread of thieves shrunk up in dark corners
whence they cast no shadows on the ground and seemed to hide and cower from
observation A tall grim clock upon the stairs with long lean hands and
famished face ticked in cautious whispers and when it struck the time in thin
and piping sounds like an old mans voice it rattled as if it were pinched
with hunger
No fireside couch was there to invite repose and comfort Elbowchairs
there were but they looked uneasy in their minds cocked their arms
suspiciously and timidly and kept on their guard Others were fantastically
grim and gaunt as having drawn themselves up to their utmost height and put on
their fiercest looks to stare all comers out of countenance Others again
knocked up against their neighbours or leaned for support against the wall
somewhat ostentatiously as if to call all men to witness that they were not
worth the taking The dark square lumbering bedsteads seemed built for restless
dreams The musty hangings seemed to creep in scanty folds together whispering
among themselves when rustled by the wind their trembling knowledge of the
tempting wares that lurked within the dark and tightlocked closets
From out the most spare and hungry room in all this spare and hungry house
there came one morning the tremulous tones of old Grides voice as it feebly
chirruped forth the fag end of some forgotten song of which the burden ran
Ta ran tan too
Throw the old shoe
And may the wedding be lucky
which he repeated in the same shrill quavering tones again and again until a
violent fit of coughing obliged him to desist and to pursue in silence the
occupation upon which he was engaged
This occupation was to take down from the shelves of a wormeaten wardrobe
a quantity of frowsy garments one by one to subject each to a careful and
minute inspection by holding it up against the light and after folding it with
great exactness to lay it on one or other of two little heaps beside him He
never took two articles of clothing out together but always brought them forth
singly and never failed to shut the wardrobe door and turn the key between
each visit to its shelves
»The snuffcoloured suit« said Arthur Gride surveying a threadbare coat
»Did I look well in snuffcolour Let me think«
The result of his cogitations appeared to be unfavourable for he folded the
garment once more laid it aside and mounted on a chair to get down another
chirping while he did so
Young loving and fair
Oh what happiness there
The wedding is sure to be lucky
»They always put in young« said old Arthur »but songs are only written for the
sake of rhyme and this is a silly one that the poor country people sang when I
was a little boy Though stop young is quite right too it means the bride
yes He he he It means the bride Oh dear thats good Thats very good And
true besides quite true«
In the satisfaction of this discovery he went over the verse again with
increased expression and a shake or two here and there He then resumed his
employment
»The bottlegreen« said old Arthur »the bottlegreen was a famous suit to
wear and I bought it very cheap at a pawnbrokers and there was he he he
a tarnished shilling in the waistcoat pocket To think that the pawnbroker
shouldnt have known there was a shilling in it I knew it I felt it when I was
examining the quality Oh what a dull dog of a pawnbroker It was a lucky suit
too this bottlegreen The very day I put it on first old Lord Mallowford was
burnt to death in his bed and all the postobits fell in Ill be married in
the bottlegreen Peg Peg Sliderskew Ill wear the bottlegreen«
This call loudly repeated twice or thrice at the room door brought into
the apartment a short thin weasen bleareyed old woman palsystricken and
hideously ugly who wiping her shrivelled face upon her dirty apron inquired
in that subdued tone in which deaf people commonly speak
»Was that you a calling or only the clock a striking My hearing gets so
bad I never know which is which but when I hear a noise I know it must be one
of you because nothing else never stirs in the house«
»Me Peg me« said Arthur Gride tapping himself on the breast to render
the reply more intelligible
»You eh« returned Peg »And what do you want«
»Ill be married in the bottlegreen« cried Arthur Gride
»Its a deal too good to be married in master« rejoined Peg after a short
inspection of the suit »Havent you got anything worse than this«
»Nothing thatll do« replied old Arthur
»Why not do« retorted Peg »Why dont you wear your everyday clothes like
a man eh«
»They ant becoming enough Peg« returned her master
»Not what enough« said Peg
»Becoming«
»Becoming what« said Peg sharply »Not becoming too old to wear«
Arthur Gride muttered an imprecation on his housekeepers deafness as he
roared in her ear
»Not smart enough I want to look as well as I can«
»Look« cried Peg »If shes as handsome as you say she is she wont look
much at you master take your oath of that and as to how you look yourself
pepperandsalt bottlegreen skyblue or tartanplaid will make no difference
in you«
With which consolatory assurance Peg Sliderskew gathered up the chosen
suit and folding her skinny arms upon the bundle stood mouthing and
grinning and blinking her watery eyes like an uncouth figure in some monstrous
piece of carving
»Youre in a funny humour ant you Peg« said Arthur with not the best
possible grace
»Why isnt it enough to make me« rejoined the old woman »I shall soon
enough be put out though if anybody tries to domineer it over me and so I
give you notice master Nobody shall be put over Peg Sliderskews head after
so many years you know that and so I neednt tell you That wont do for me
no no nor for you Try that once and come to ruin ruin ruin«
»Oh dear dear I shall never try it« said Arthur Gride appalled by the
mention of the word »not for the world It would be very easy to ruin me we
must be very careful more saving than ever with another mouth to feed Only we
we mustnt let her lose her good looks Peg because I like to see em«
»Take care you dont find good looks come expensive« returned Peg shaking
her forefinger
»But she can earn money herself Peg« said Arthur Gride eagerly watching
what effect his communication produced upon the old womans countenance »she
can draw paint work all manner of pretty things for ornamenting stools and
chairs slippers Peg watchguards hairchains and a thousand little dainty
trifles that I couldnt give you half the names of Then she can play the piano
and whats more shes got one and sing like a little bird Shell be very
cheap to dress and keep Peg dont you think she will«
»If you dont let her make a fool of you she may« returned Peg
»A fool of me« exclaimed Arthur »Trust your old master not to be fooled by
pretty faces Peg no no no nor by ugly ones neither Mrs Sliderskew« he
softly added by way of soliloquy
»Youre a saying something you dont want me to hear« said Peg »I know you
are«
»Oh dear the devils in this woman« muttered Arthur adding with an ugly
leer »I said I trusted everything to you Peg That was all«
»You do that master and all your cares are over« said Peg approvingly
»When I do that Peg Sliderskew« thought Arthur Gride »they will be«
Although he thought this very distinctly he durst not move his lips lest
the old woman should detect him He even seemed half afraid that she might have
read his thoughts for he leered coaxingly upon her as he said aloud
»Take up all loose stitches in the bottlegreen with the best black silk
Have a skein of the best and some new buttons for the coat and this is a
good idea Peg and one youll like I know as I have never given her anything
yet and girls like such attentions you shall polish up a sparkling necklace
that I have got up stairs and Ill give it her upon the wedding morning clasp
it round her charming little neck myself and take it away again next day He
he he Ill lock it up for her Peg and lose it Wholl be made the fool of
there I wonder to begin with eh Peg«
Mrs Sliderskew appeared to approve highly of this ingenious scheme and
expressed her satisfaction by various rackings and twitchings of her head and
body which by no means enhanced her charms These she prolonged until she had
hobbled to the door when she exchanged them for a sour malignant look and
twisting her underjaw from side to side muttered hearty curses upon the future
Mrs Gride as she crept slowly down the stairs and paused for breath at nearly
every one
»Shes half a witch I think« said Arthur Gride when he found himself
again alone »But shes very frugal and shes very deaf Her living costs me
next to nothing and its no use her listening at keyholes for she cant hear
Shes a charming woman for the purpose a most discreet old housekeeper and
worth her weight in copper«
Having extolled the merits of his domestic in these high terms old Arthur
went back to the burden of his song The suit destined to grace his approaching
nuptials being now selected he replaced the others with no less care than he
had displayed in drawing them from the musty nooks where they had silently
reposed for many years
Startled by a ring at the door he hastily concluded this operation and
locked the press but there was no need for any particular hurry as the
discreet Peg seldom knew the bell was rung unless she happened to cast her dim
eyes upward and to see it shaking against the kitchen ceiling After a short
delay however Peg tottered in followed by Newman Noggs
»Ah Mr Noggs« cried Arthur Gride rubbing his hands »My good friend Mr
Noggs what news do you bring for me«
Newman with a stedfast and immovable aspect and his fixed eye very fixed
indeed replied suiting the action to the word »A letter From Mr Nickleby
Bearer waits«
»Wont you take a a «
Newman looked up and smacked his lips
» A chair«
»No« replied Newman »Thankee«
Arthur opened the letter with trembling hands and devoured its contents
with the utmost greediness chuckling rapturously over it and reading it
several times before he could take it from before his eyes So many times did
he peruse and reperuse it that Newman considered it expedient to remind him of
his presence
»Answer« said Newman »Bearer waits«
»True« replied old Arthur »Yes yes I almost forgot I do declare«
»I thought you were forgetting« said Newman
»Quite right to remind me Mr Noggs Oh very right indeed« said Arthur
»Yes Ill write a line Im Im rather flurried Mr Noggs The news is «
»Bad« interrupted Newman
»No Mr Noggs thank you good good The very best of news Sit down Ill
get the pen and ink and write a line in answer Ill not detain you long I
know youre a treasure to your master Mr Noggs He speaks of you in such
terms sometimes that oh dear youd be astonished I may say that I do too
and always did I always say the same of you«
»Thats Curse Mr Noggs with all my heart then if you do« thought Newman
as Gride hurried out
The letter had fallen on the ground Looking carefully about him for an
instant Newman impelled by curiosity to know the result of the design he had
overheard from his office closet caught it up and rapidly read as follows
»Gride
I saw Bray again this morning and proposed the day after tomorrow
as you suggested for the marriage There is no objection on his part
and all days are alike to his daughter We will go together and you
must be with me by seven in the morning I need not tell you to be
punctual
Make no further visits to the girl in the meantime You have been
there of late much oftener than you should She does not languish for
you and it might have been dangerous Restrain your youthful ardour for
eightandforty hours and leave her to the father You only undo what
he does and does well
Yours
RALPH NICKLEBY«
A footstep was heard without Newman dropped the letter on the same spot again
pressed it with his foot to prevent its fluttering away regained his seat in a
single stride and looked as vacant and unconscious as ever mortal looked
Arthur Gride after peering nervously about him spied it on the ground picked
it up and sitting down to write glanced at Newman Noggs who was staring at
the wall with an intensity so remarkable that Arthur was quite alarmed
»Do you see anything particular Mr Noggs« said Arthur trying to follow
the direction of Newmans eyes which was an impossibility and a thing no man
had ever done
»Only a cobweb« replied Newman
»Oh is that all«
»No« said Newman »Theres a fly in it«
»There are a good many cobwebs here« observed Arthur Gride
»So there are in our place« returned Newman »and flies too«
Newman appeared to derive great entertainment from this repartee and to the
great discomposure of Arthur Grides nerves produced a series of sharp cracks
from his fingerjoints resembling the noise of a distant discharge of small
artillery Arthur succeeded in finishing his reply to Ralphs note
nevertheless and at length handed it over to the eccentric messenger for
delivery
»Thats it Mr Noggs« said Gride
Newman gave a nod put it in his hat and was shuffling away when Gride
whose doting delight knew no bounds beckoned him back again and said in a
shrill whisper and with a grin which puckered up his whole face and almost
obscured his eyes
»Will you will you take a little drop of something just a taste«
In good fellowship if Arthur Gride had been capable of it Newman would not
have drunk with him one bubble of the richest wine that was ever made but to
see what he would be at and to punish him as much as he could he accepted the
offer immediately
Arthur Gride therefore again applied himself to the press and from a
shelf laden with tall Flemish drinkingglasses and quaint bottles some with
necks like so many storks and others with square Dutchbuilt bodies and short
fat apoplectic throats took down one dusty bottle of promising appearance and
two glasses of curiously small size
»You never tasted this« said Arthur »Its eaudor golden water I like
it on account of its name Its a delicious name Water of gold golden water O
dear me it seems quite a sin to drink it«
As his courage appeared to be fast failing him and he trifled with the
stopper in a manner which threatened the dismissal of the bottle to its old
place Newman took up one of the little glasses and clinked it twice or
thrice against the bottle as a gentle reminder that he had not been helped
yet With a deep sigh Arthur Gride slowly filled it though not to the brim
and then filled his own
»Stop stop dont drink it yet« he said laying his hand on Newmans »it
was given to me twenty years ago and when I take a little taste which is
very seldom I like to think of it beforehand and teaze myself Well drink a
toast Shall we drink a toast Mr Noggs«
»Ah« said Newman eyeing his little glass impatiently »Look sharp Bearer
waits«
»Why then Ill tell you what« tittered Arthur »well drink he he he
well drink a lady«
»The ladies« said Newman
»No no Mr Noggs« replied Gride arresting his hand »a lady You wonder
to hear me say a lady I know you do I know you do Heres little Madeline
Thats the toast Mr Noggs Little Madeline«
»Madeline« said Newman inwardly adding »and God help her«
The rapidity and unconcern with which Newman dismissed his portion of the
golden water had a great effect upon the old man who sat upright in his chair
and gazed at him openmouthed as if the sight had taken away his breath Quite
unmoved however Newman left him to sip his own at leisure or to pour it back
again into the bottle if he chose and departed after greatly outraging the
dignity of Peg Sliderskew by brushing past her in the passage without a word
of apology or recognition
Mr Gride and his housekeeper immediately on being left alone resolved
themselves into a committee of ways and means and discussed the arrangements
which should be made for the reception of the young bride As they were like
some other committees extremely dull and prolix in debate this history may
pursue the footsteps of Newman Noggs thereby combining advantage with
necessity for it would have been necessary to do so under any circumstances
and necessity has no law as all the world know
»Youve been a long time« said Ralph when Newman returned
»He was a long time« replied Newman
»Bah« cried Ralph impatiently »Give me his note if he gave you one his
message if he didnt And dont go away I want a word with you sir«
Newman handed in the note and looked very virtuous and innocent while his
employer broke the seal and glanced his eye over it
»Hell be sure to come« muttered Ralph as he tore it to pieces »why of
course I know hell be sure to come What need to say that Noggs Pray sir
what man was that with whom I saw you in the street last night«
»I dont know« replied Newman
»You had better refresh your memory sir« said Ralph with a threatening
look
»I tell you« returned Newman boldly »that I dont know He came here
twice and asked for you You were out He came again You packed him off
yourself He gave the name of Brooker«
»I know he did« said Ralph »what then«
»What then Why then he lurked about and dogged me in the street He
follows me night after night and urges me to bring him face to face with you
as he says he has been once and not long ago either He wants to see you face
to face he says and youll soon hear him out he warrants«
»And what say you to that« inquired Ralph looking keenly at his drudge
»That its no business of mine and I wont I told him he might catch you
in the street if that was all he wanted but no that wouldnt do You wouldnt
hear a word there he said He must have you alone in a room with the door
locked where he could speak without fear and youd soon change your tone and
hear him patiently«
»An audacious dog« Ralph muttered
»Thats all I know« said Newman »I say again I dont know what man he is
I dont believe he knows himself You have seen him perhaps you do«
»I think I do« replied Ralph
»Well« retorted Newman sulkily »dont expect me to know him too thats
all Youll ask me next why I never told you this before What would you say
if I was to tell you all that people say of you What do you call me when I
sometimes do Brute ass and snap at me like a dragon«
This was true enough though the question which Newman anticipated was in
fact upon Ralphs lips at the moment
»He is an idle ruffian« said Ralph »a vagabond from beyond the sea where
he travelled for his crimes a felon let loose to run his neck into the halter
a swindler who has the audacity to try his schemes on me who know him well The
next time he tampers with you hand him over to the police for attempting to
extort money by lies and threats dye hear and leave the rest to me He
shall cool his heels in jail a little time and Ill be bound he looks for
other folks to fleece when he comes out You mind what I say do you«
»I hear« said Newman
»Do it then« returned Ralph »and Ill reward you Now you may go«
Newman readily availed himself of the permission and shutting himself up
in his little office remained there in very serious cogitation all day When
he was released at night he proceeded with all the expedition he could use to
the City and took up his old position behind the pump to watch for Nicholas
For Newman Noggs was proud in his way and could not bear to appear as his
friend before the brothers Cheeryble in the shabby and degraded state to which
he was reduced
He had not occupied this position many minutes when he was rejoiced to see
Nicholas approaching and darted out from his ambuscade to meet him Nicholas
on his part was no less pleased to encounter his friend whom he had not seen
for some time so their greeting was a warm one
»I was thinking of you at that moment« said Nicholas
»Thats right« rejoined Newman »and I of you I couldnt help coming up
tonight I say I think Im going to find out something«
»And what may that be« returned Nicholas smiling at this odd
communication
»I dont know what it may be I dont know what it may not be« said Newman
»its some secret in which your uncle is concerned but what Ive not yet been
able to discover although I have my strong suspicions Ill not hint em now
in case you should be disappointed«
»I disappointed« cried Nicholas »am I interested«
»I think you are« replied Newman »I have a crotchet in my head that it
must be so I have found out a man who plainly knows more than he cares to tell
at once And he has already dropped such hints to me as puzzle me I say as
puzzle me« said Newman scratching his red nose into a state of violent
inflammation and staring at Nicholas with all his might and main meanwhile
Admiring what could have wound his friend up to such a pitch of mystery
Nicholas endeavoured by a series of questions to elucidate the cause but in
vain Newman could not be drawn into any more explicit statement than a
repetition of the perplexities he had already thrown out and a confused
oration showing How it was necessary to use the utmost caution how the
lynxeyed Ralph had already seen him in company with his unknown correspondent
and how he had baffled the said Ralph by extreme guardedness of manner and
ingenuity of speech having prepared himself for such a contingency from the
first
Remembering his companions propensity of which his nose indeed
perpetually warned all beholders like a beacon Nicholas had drawn him into a
sequestered tavern Here they fell to reviewing the origin and progress of
their acquaintance as men sometimes do and tracing out the little events by
which it was most strongly marked came at last to Miss Cecilia Bobster
»And that reminds me« said Newman »that you never told me the young ladys
real name«
»Madeline« said Nicholas
»Madeline« cried Newman »What Madeline Her other name Say her other
name«
»Bray« said Nicholas in great astonishment
»Its the same« cried Newman »Sad story Can you stand idly by and let
that unnatural marriage take place without one attempt to save her«
»What do you mean« exclaimed Nicholas starting up »marriage Are you
mad«
»Are you Is she Are you blind deaf senseless dead« said Newman »Do
you know that within one day by means of your uncle Ralph she will be married
to a man as bad as he and worse if worse there is Do you know that within
one day she will be sacrificed as sure as you stand there alive to a hoary
wretch a devil born and bred and grey in devils ways«
»Be careful what you say« replied Nicholas »For Heavens sake be careful
I am left here alone and those who could stretch out a hand to rescue her are
far away What is it that you mean«
»I never heard her name« said Newman choking with his energy »Why didnt
you tell me How was I to know We might at least have had some time to
think«
»What is it that you mean« cried Nicholas
It was not an easy task to arrive at this information but after a great
quantity of extraordinary pantomime which in no way assisted it Nicholas who
was almost as wild as Newman Noggs himself forced the latter down upon his seat
and held him down until he began his tale
Rage astonishment indignation and a storm of passions rushed through the
listeners heart as the plot was laid bare He no sooner understood it all
than with a face of ashy paleness and trembling in every limb he darted from
the house
»Stop him« cried Newman bolting out in pursuit »Hell be doing something
desperate hell murder somebody Hallo there stop him Stop thief stop
thief«
Chapter LII
Nicholas Despairs of Rescuing Madeline Bray but Plucks Up His Spirits Again
and Determines to Attempt It Domestic Intelligence of the Kenwigses and
Lillyvicks
Finding that Newman was determined to arrest his progress at any hazard and
apprehensive that some wellintentioned passenger attracted by the cry of stop
thief might lay violent hands upon his person and place him in a disagreeable
predicament from which he might have some difficulty in extricating himself
Nicholas soon slackened his pace and suffered Newman Noggs to come up with him
which he did in so breathless a condition that it seemed impossible he could
have held out for a minute longer
»I will go straight to Brays« said Nicholas »I will see this man If
there is a feeling of humanity lingering in his breast a spark of consideration
for his own child motherless and friendless as she is I will awaken it«
»You will not« replied Newman »You will not indeed«
»Then« said Nicholas pressing onward »I will act upon my first impulse
and go straight to Ralph Nickleby«
»By the time you reach his house he will be in bed« said Newman
»Ill drag him from it« cried Nicholas
»Tut tut« said Noggs »Be yourself«
»You are the best of friends to me Newman« rejoined Nicholas after a
pause and taking his hand as he spoke »I have made head against many trials
but the misery of another and such misery is involved in this one that I
declare to you I am rendered desperate and know not how to act«
In truth it did seem a hopeless case It was impossible to make any use of
such intelligence as Newman Noggs had gleaned when he lay concealed in the
closet The mere circumstance of the compact between Ralph Nickleby and Gride
would not invalidate the marriage or render Bray averse to it who if he did
not actually know of the existence of some such understanding doubtless
suspected it What had been hinted with reference to some fraud on Madeline had
been put with sufficient obscurity by Arthur Gride but coming from Newman
Noggs and obscured still further by the smoke of his pocketpistol it became
wholly unintelligible and involved in utter darkness
»There seems no ray of hope« said Nicholas
»The greater necessity for coolness for reason for consideration for
thought« said Newman pausing at every alternate word to look anxiously in his
friends face »Where are the brothers«
»Both absent on urgent business as they will be for a week to come«
»Is there no way of communicating with them No way of getting one of them
here by tomorrow night«
»Impossible« said Nicholas »the sea is between us and them With the
fairest winds that ever blew to go and return would take three days and
nights«
»Their nephew« said Newman »their old clerk«
»What could either do that I cannot« rejoined Nicholas »With reference to
them especially I am enjoined to the strictest silence on this subject What
right have I to betray the confidence reposed in me when nothing but a miracle
can prevent this sacrifice«
»Think« urged Newman »Is there no way«
»There is none« said Nicholas in utter dejection »Not one The father
urges the daughter consents These demons have her in their toils legal right
might power money and every influence are on their side How can I hope to
save her«
»Hope to the last« said Newman clapping him on the back »Always hope
thats a dear boy Never leave off hoping it dont answer Do you mind me
Nick It dont answer Dont leave a stone unturned Its always something to
know youve done the most you could But dont leave off hoping or its of no
use doing anything Hope hope to the last«
Nicholas needed encouragement The suddenness with which intelligence of the
two usurers plans had come upon him the little time which remained for
exertion the probability almost amounting to certainty itself that a few
hours would place Madeline Bray for ever beyond his reach consign her to
unspeakable misery and perhaps to an untimely death all this quite stunned and
overwhelmed him Every hope connected with her that he had suffered himself to
form or had entertained unconsciously seemed to fall at his feet withered and
dead Every charm with which his memory or imagination had surrounded her
presented itself before him only to heighten his anguish and add new bitterness
to his despair Every feeling of sympathy for her forlorn condition and of
admiration for her heroism and fortitude aggravated the indignation which shook
him in every limb and swelled his heart almost to bursting
But if Nicholass own heart embarrassed him Newmans came to his relief
There was so much earnestness in his remonstrance and such sincerity and
fervour in his manner odd and ludicrous as it always was that it imparted to
Nicholas new firmness and enabled him to say after he had walked on for some
little way in silence
»You read me a good lesson Newman and I will profit by it One step at
least I may take am bound to take indeed and to that I will apply myself
tomorrow«
»What is that« asked Noggs wistfully »Not to threaten Ralph Not to see
the father«
»To see the daughter Newman« replied Nicholas »To do what after all is
the utmost that the brothers could do if they were here as Heaven send they
were To reason with her upon this hideous union to point out to her all the
horrors to which she is hastening rashly it may be and without due
reflection To entreat her at least to pause She can have had no counsellor
for her good Perhaps even I may move her so far yet though it is the eleventh
hour and she upon the very brink of ruin«
»Bravely spoken« said Newman »Well done well done Yes Very good«
»And I do declare« cried Nicholas with honest enthusiasm »that in this
effort I am influenced by no selfish or personal considerations but by pity for
her and detestation and abhorrence of this scheme and that I would do the
same were there twenty rivals in the field and I the last and least favoured
of them all«
»You would I believe« said Newman »But where are you hurrying now«
»Homewards« answered Nicholas »Do you come with me or shall I say
goodnight«
»Ill come a little way if you will but walk not run« said Noggs
»I cannot walk tonight Newman« returned Nicholas hurriedly »I must move
rapidly or I could not draw my breath Ill tell you what Ive said and done
tomorrow«
Without waiting for a reply he darted off at a rapid pace and plunging
into the crowds which thronged the street was quickly lost to view
»Hes a violent youth at times« said Newman looking after him »and yet I
like him for it Theres cause enough now or the deuce is in it Hope I said
hope I think Ralph Nickleby and Gride with their heads together And hope for
the opposite party Ho ho«
It was with a very melancholy laugh that Newman Noggs concluded this
soliloquy and it was with a very melancholy shake of the head and a very
rueful countenance that he turned about and went plodding on his way
This under ordinary circumstances would have been to some small tavern or
dramshop that being his way in more senses than one But Newman was too much
interested and too anxious to betake himself even to this resource and so
with many desponding and dismal reflections went straight home
It had come to pass that afternoon that Miss Morleena Kenwigs had received
an invitation to repair next day per steamer from Westminster Bridge unto the
Eelpie Island at Twickenham there to make merry upon a cold collation
bottledbeer shrub and shrimps and to dance in the open air to the music of a
locomotive band conveyed thither for the purpose the steamer being specially
engaged by a dancingmaster of extensive connection for the accommodation of his
numerous pupils and the pupils displaying their appreciation of the
dancingmasters services by purchasing themselves and inducing their friends
to do the like divers lightblue tickets entitling them to join the
expedition Of these lightblue tickets one had been presented by an ambitious
neighbour to Miss Morleena Kenwigs with an invitation to join her daughters
and Mrs Kenwigs rightly deeming that the honor of the family was involved in
Miss Morleenas making the most splendid appearance possible on so short a
notice and testifying to the dancingmaster that there were other
dancingmasters besides him and to all fathers and mothers present that other
peoples children could learn to be genteel besides theirs had fainted away
twice under the magnitude of her preparations but upheld by a determination
to sustain the family name or perish in the attempt was still hard at work when
Newman Noggs came home
Now between the italianironing of frills the flouncing of trousers the
trimming of frocks the faintings and the comingto again incidental to the
occasion Mrs Kenwigs had been so entirely occupied that she had not observed
until within half an hour before that the flaxen tails of Miss Morleenas hair
were in a manner run to seed and that unless she were put under the hands of
a skilful hairdresser she never could achieve that signal triumph over the
daughters of all other people anything less than which would be tantamount to
defeat This discovery drove Mrs Kenwigs to despair for the hairdresser lived
three streets and eight dangerous crossings off Morleena could not be trusted
to go there alone even if such a proceeding were strictly proper of which Mrs
Kenwigs had her doubts Mr Kenwigs had not returned from business and there
was nobody to take her So Mrs Kenwigs first slapped Miss Kenwigs for being
the cause of her vexation and then shed tears
»You ungrateful child« said Mrs Kenwigs »After I have gone through what I
have this night for your good«
»I cant help it ma« replied Morleena also in tears »my hair will grow«
»Dont talk to me you naughty thing« said Mrs Kenwigs »dont Even if I
was to trust you by yourself and you were to escape being run over I know youd
run in to Laura Chopkins« who was the daughter of the ambitious neighbour »and
tell her what youre going to wear tomorrow I know you would Youve no proper
pride in yourself and are not to be trusted out of sight for an instant«
Deploring the evilmindedness of her eldest daughter in these terms Mrs
Kenwigs distilled fresh drops of vexation from her eyes and declared that she
did believe there never was anybody so tried as she was Thereupon Morleena
Kenwigs wept afresh and they bemoaned themselves together
Matters were at this point as Newman Noggs was heard to limp past the door
on his way up stairs when Mrs Kenwigs gaining new hope from the sound of his
footsteps hastily removed from her countenance as many traces of her late
emotion as were effaceable on so short a notice and presenting herself before
him and representing their dilemma entreated that he would escort Morleena to
the hairdressers shop
»I wouldnt ask you Mr Noggs« said Mrs Kenwigs »if I didnt know what a
good kindhearted creature you are no not for worlds I am a weak
constitution Mr Noggs but my spirit would no more let me ask a favour where I
thought there was a chance of its being refused than it would let me submit to
see my children trampled down and trod upon by envy and lowness«
Newman was too goodnatured not to have consented even without this avowal
of confidence on the part of Mrs Kenwigs Accordingly a very few minutes had
elapsed when he and Miss Morleena were on their way to the hairdressers
It was not exactly a hairdressers that is to say people of a coarse and
vulgar turn of mind might have called it a barbers for they not only cut and
curled ladies elegantly and children carefully but shaved gentlemen easily
Still it was a highly genteel establishment quite firstrate in fact and
there were displayed in the window besides other elegancies waxen busts of a
light lady and a dark gentleman which were the admiration of the whole
neighbourhood Indeed some ladies had gone so far as to assert that the dark
gentleman was actually a portrait of the spirited young proprietor and the
great similarity between their headdresses both wore very glossy hair with a
narrow walk straight down the middle and a profusion of flat circular curls on
both sides encouraged the idea The better informed among the sex however
made light of this assertion for however willing they were and they were very
willing to do full justice to the handsome face and figure of the proprietor
they held the countenance of the dark gentleman in the window to be an exquisite
and abstract idea of masculine beauty realised sometimes perhaps among angels
and military men but very rarely embodied to gladden the eyes of mortals
It was to this establishment that Newman Noggs led Miss Kenwigs in safety
The proprietor knowing that Miss Kenwigs had three sisters each with two
flaxen tails and all good for sixpence apiece once a month at least promptly
deserted an old gentleman whom he had just lathered for shaving and handing him
over to the journeyman who was not very popular among the ladies by reason of
his obesity and middle age waited on the young lady himself
Just as this change had been effected there presented himself for shaving
a big burly goodhumoured coalheaver with a pipe in his mouth who drawing
his hand across his chin requested to know when a shaver would be disengaged
The journeyman to whom this question was put looked doubtfully at the young
proprietor and the young proprietor looked scornfully at the coalheaver
observing at the same time
»You wont get shaved here my man«
»Why not« said the coalheaver
»We dont shave gentlemen in your line« remarked the young proprietor
»Why I see you a shaving of a baker when I was a looking through the
winder last week« said the coalheaver
»Its necessary to draw the line somewheres my fine feller« replied the
principal »We draw the line there We cant go beyond bakers If we was to get
any lower than bakers our customers would desert us and we might shut up shop
You must try some other establishment sir We couldnt do it here«
The applicant stared grinned at Newman Noggs who appeared highly
entertained looked slightly round the shop as if in depreciation of the
pomatum pots and other articles of stock took his pipe out of his mouth and
gave a very loud whistle and then put it in again and walked out
The old gentleman who had just been lathered and who was sitting in a
melancholy manner with his face turned towards the wall appeared quite
unconscious of this incident and to be insensible to everything around him in
the depth of a reverie a very mournful one to judge from the sighs he
occasionally vented in which he was absorbed Affected by this example the
proprietor began to clip Miss Kenwigs the journeyman to scrape the old
gentleman and Newman Noggs to read last Sundays paper all three in silence
when Miss Kenwigs uttered a shrill little scream and Newman raising his eyes
saw that it had been elicited by the circumstance of the old gentleman turning
his head and disclosing the features of Mr Lillyvick the collector
The features of Mr Lillyvick they were but strangely altered If ever an
old gentleman had made a point of appearing in public shaved close and clean
that old gentleman was Mr Lillyvick If ever a collector had borne himself like
a collector and assumed before all men a solemn and portentous dignity as if he
had the world on his books and it was all two quarters in arrear that collector
was Mr Lillyvick And now there he sat with the remains of a beard at least a
week old encumbering his chin a soiled and crumpled shirtfrill crouching as
it were upon his breast instead of standing boldly out a demeanour so abashed
and drooping so despondent and expressive of humiliation grief and shame
that if the souls of forty unsubstantial housekeepers all of whom had had their
water cut off for nonpayment of the rate could have been concentrated in one
body that one body could hardly have expressed such mortification and defeat as
were now expressed in the person of Mr Lillyvick the collector
Newman Noggs uttered his name and Mr Lillyvick groaned then coughed to
hide it But the groan was a fullsized groan and the cough was but a wheeze
»Is anything the matter« said Newman Noggs
»Matter sir« cried Mr Lillyvick »The plug of life is dry sir and but
the mud is left«
This speech the style of which Newman attributed to Mr Lillyvicks recent
association with theatrical characters not being quite explanatory Newman
looked as if he were about to ask another question when Mr Lillyvick prevented
him by shaking his hand mournfully and then waving his own
»Let me be shaved« said Mr Lillyvick »It shall be done before Morleena
it is Morleena isnt it«
»Yes« said Newman
»Kenwigses have got a boy havent they« inquired the collector
Again Newman said »Yes«
»Is it a nice boy« demanded the collector
»It aint a very nasty one« returned Newman rather embarrassed by the
question
»Susan Kenwigs used to say« observed the collector »that if ever she had
another boy she hoped it might be like me Is this one like me Mr Noggs«
This was a puzzling inquiry but Newman evaded it by replying to Mr
Lillyvick that he thought the baby might possibly come like him in time
»I should be glad to have somebody like me somehow« said Mr Lillyvick
»before I die«
»You dont mean to do that yet awhile« said Newman
Unto which Mr Lillyvick replied in a solemn voice »Let me be shaved« and
again consigning himself to the hands of the journeyman said no more
This was remarkable behaviour So remarkable did it seem to Miss Morleena
that that young lady at the imminent hazard of having her ear sliced off had
not been able to forbear looking round some score of times during the
foregoing colloquy Of her however Mr Lillyvick took no notice rather
striving so at least it seemed to Newman Noggs to evade her observation and
to shrink into himself whenever he attracted her regards Newman wondered very
much what could have occasioned this altered behaviour on the part of the
collector but philosophically reflecting that he would most likely know
sooner or later and that he could perfectly afford to wait he was very little
disturbed by the singularity of the old gentlemans deportment
The cutting and curling being at last concluded the old gentleman who had
been some time waiting rose to go and walking out with Newman and his charge
took Newmans arm and proceeded for some time without making any observation
Newman who in power of taciturnity was excelled by few people made no attempt
to break silence and so they went on until they had very nearly reached Miss
Morleenas home when Mr Lillyvick said
»Were the Kenwigses very much overpowered Mr Noggs by that news«
»What news« returned Newman
»That about my being «
»Married« suggested Newman
»Ah« replied Mr Lillyvick with another groan this time not even
disguised by a wheeze
»It made ma cry when she knew it« interposed Miss Morleena »but we kept it
from her for a long time and pa was very low in his spirits but he is better
now and I was very ill but I am better too«
»Would you give your greatuncle Lillyvick a kiss if he was to ask you
Morleena« said the collector with some hesitation
»Yes uncle Lillyvick I would« returned Miss Morleena with the energy of
both her parents combined »but not aunt Lillyvick Shes not an aunt of mine
and Ill never call her one«
Immediately upon the utterance of these words Mr Lillyvick caught Miss
Morleena up in his arms and kissed her and being by this time at the door of
the house where Mr Kenwigs lodged which as has been before mentioned usually
stood wide open he walked straight up into Mr Kenwigss sittingroom and put
Miss Morleena down in the midst Mr and Mrs Kenwigs were at supper At sight
of their perjured relative Mrs Kenwigs turned faint and pale and Mr Kenwigs
rose majestically
»Kenwigs« said the collector »shake hands«
»Sir« said Mr Kenwigs »the time has been when I was proud to shake hands
with such a man as that man as now surweys me The time has been sir« said Mr
Kenwigs »when a wisit from that man has excited in me and my familys boozums
sensations both nateral and awakening But now I look upon that man with
emotions totally surpassing everythink and I ask myself where is his honor
where is his straightforardness and where is his human natur«
»Susan Kenwigs« said Mr Lillyvick turning humbly to his niece »dont you
say anything to me«
»She is not equal to it sir« said Mr Kenwigs striking the table
emphatically »What with the nursing of a healthy babby and the reflections
upon your cruel conduct four pints of malt liquor a day is hardly able to
sustain her«
»I am glad« said the poor collector meekly »that the baby is a healthy
one I am very glad of that«
This was touching the Kenwigses on their tenderest point Mrs Kenwigs
instantly burst into tears and Mr Kenwigs evinced great emotion
»My pleasantest feeling all the time that child was expected« said Mr
Kenwigs mournfully »was a thinking if its a boy as I hope it may be for I
have heard its uncle Lillyvick say again and again he would prefer our having a
boy next if its a boy what will his uncle Lillyvick say What will he like
him to be called Will he be Peter or Alexander or Pompey or Diorgeenes or
what will he be And now when I look at him a precious unconscious helpless
infant with no use in his little arms but to tear his little cap and no use in
his little legs but to kick his little self when I see him alying on his
mothers lap cooing and cooing and in his innocent state almost a choking
hisself with his little fist when I see him such a infant as he is and think
that that uncle Lillyvick as was once a going to be so fond of him has
withdrawed himself away such a feeling of wengeance comes over me as no
language can depicter and I feel as if even that holy babe was a telling me to
hate him«
This affecting picture moved Mrs Kenwigs deeply After several imperfect
words which vainly attempted to struggle to the surface but were drowned and
washed away by the strong tide of her tears she spake
»Uncle« said Mrs Kenwigs »to think that you should have turned your back
upon me and my dear children and upon Kenwigs which is the author of their
being you who was once so kind and affectionate and who if anybody had told
us such a thing of we should have withered with scorn like lightning you that
little Lillyvick our first and earliest boy was named after at the very altar
Oh gracious«
»Was it money that we cared for« said Mr Kenwigs »Was it property that we
ever thought of«
»No« cried Mrs Kenwigs »I scorn it«
»So do I« said Mr Kenwigs »and always did«
»My feelings have been lancerated« said Mrs Kenwigs »my heart has been
torn asunder with anguish I have been thrown back in my confinement my
unoffending infant has been rendered uncomfortable and fractious Morleena has
pined herself away to nothing all this I forget and forgive and with you
uncle I never can quarrel But never ask me to receive her never do it uncle
For I will not I will not I wont I wont I wont«
»Susan my dear« said Mr Kenwigs »consider your child«
»Yes« shrieked Mrs Kenwigs »I will consider my child I will consider my
child My own child that no uncles can deprive me of my own hated despised
deserted cutoff little child« And here the emotions of Mrs Kenwigs became
so violent that Mr Kenwigs was fain to administer hartshorn internally and
vinegar externally and to destroy a staylace four petticoat strings and
several small buttons
Newman had been a silent spectator of this scene for Mr Lillyvick had
signed to him not to withdraw and Mr Kenwigs had further solicited his
presence by a nod of invitation When Mrs Kenwigs had been in some degree
restored and Newman as a person possessed of some influence with her had
remonstrated and begged her to compose herself Mr Lillyvick said in a
faltering voice
»I never shall ask anybody here to receive my I neednt mention the word
you know what I mean Kenwigs and Susan yesterday was a week she eloped with a
halfpay captain«
Mr and Mrs Kenwigs started together
»Eloped with a halfpay captain« repeated Mr Lillyvick »Basely and
falsely eloped with a halfpay captain With a bottlenosed captain that any man
might have considered himself safe from It was in this room« said Mr
Lillyvick looking sternly round »that I first see Henrietta Petowker It is in
this room that I turn her off for ever«
This declaration completely changed the whole posture of affairs Mrs
Kenwigs threw herself upon the old gentlemans neck bitterly reproaching
herself for her late harshness and exclaiming if she had suffered what must
his sufferings have been Mr Kenwigs grasped his hand and vowed eternal
friendship and remorse Mrs Kenwigs was horrorstricken to think that she
should ever have nourished in her bosom such a snake adder viper serpent and
base crocodile as Henrietta Petowker Mr Kenwigs argued that she must have
been bad indeed not to have improved by so long a contemplation of Mrs
Kenwigss virtues Mrs Kenwigs remembered that Mr Kenwigs had often said that
he was not quite satisfied of the propriety of Miss Petowkers conduct and
wondered how it was that she could have been blinded by such a wretch Mr
Kenwigs remembered that he had had his suspicions but did not wonder why Mrs
Kenwigs had not had hers as she was all chastity purity and truth and
Henrietta all baseness falsehood and deceit And Mr and Mrs Kenwigs both
said with strong feelings and tears of sympathy that everything happened for
the best and conjured the good collector not to give way to unavailing grief
but to seek consolation in the society of those affectionate relations whose
arms and hearts were ever open to him
»Out of affection and regard for you Susan and Kenwigs« said Mr
Lillyvick »and not out of revenge and spite against her for she is below it I
shall tomorrow morning settle upon your children and make payable to the
survivors of them when they come of age or marry that money which I once meant
to leave em in my will The deed shall be executed tomorrow and Mr Noggs
shall be one of the witnesses He hears me promise this and he shall see it
done«
Overpowered by this noble and generous offer Mr Kenwigs Mrs Kenwigs and
Miss Morleena Kenwigs all began to sob together and the noise of their
sobbing communicating itself to the next room where the children lay abed and
causing them to cry too Mr Kenwigs rushed wildly in and bringing them out in
his arms by two and two tumbled them down in their nightcaps and gowns at the
feet of Mr Lillyvick and called upon them to thank and bless him
»And now« said Mr Lillyvick when a heartrending scene had ensued and the
children were cleared away again »give me some supper This took place twenty
mile from town I came up this morning and have been lingering about all day
without being able to make up my mind to come and see you I humoured her in
everything she had her own way she did just as she pleased and now she has
done this There was twelve teaspoons and twentyfour pound in sovereigns I
missed them first its a trial I feel I shall never be able to knock a
double knock again when I go my rounds dont say anything more about it
please the spoons were worth never mind never mind«
With such muttered outpourings as these the old gentleman shed a few tears
but they got him into the elbowchair and prevailed upon him without much
pressing to make a hearty supper and by the time he had finished his first
pipe and disposed of half a dozen glasses out of a crown bowl of punch ordered
by Mr Kenwigs in celebration of his return to the bosom of his family he
seemed though still very humble quite resigned to his fate and rather
relieved than otherwise by the flight of his wife
»When I see that man« said Mr Kenwigs with one hand round Mrs Kenwigss
waist his other hand supporting his pipe which made him wink and cough very
much for he was no smoker and his eyes on Morleena who sat upon her uncles
knee »when I see that man a mingling once again in the spear which he adorns
and see his affections deweloping themselves in legitimate sitiwations I feel
that his nature is as elewated and expanded as his standing afore society as a
public character is unimpeached and the woices of my infant children purvided
for in life seem to whisper to me softly This is an ewent at which Evins
itself looks down«
Chapter LIII
Containing the Further Progress of the Plot Contrived by Mr Ralph Nickleby and
Mr Arthur Gride
With that settled resolution and steadiness of purpose to which extreme
circumstances so often give birth acting upon far less excitable and more
sluggish temperaments than that which was the lot of Madeline Brays admirer
Nicholas started at dawn of day from the restless couch which no sleep had
visited on the previous night and prepared to make that last appeal by whose
slight and fragile thread her only remaining hope of escape depended
Although to restless and ardent minds morning may be the fitting season for
exertion and activity it is not always at that time that hope is strongest or
the spirit most sanguine and buoyant In trying and doubtful positions youth
custom a steady contemplation of the difficulties which surround us and a
familiarity with them imperceptibly diminish our apprehensions and beget
comparative indifference if not a vague and reckless confidence in some relief
the means or nature of which we care not to foresee But when we come fresh
upon such things in the morning with that dark and silent gap between us and
yesterday with every link in the brittle chain of hope to rivet afresh our
hot enthusiasm subdued and cool calm reason substituted in its stead doubt and
misgiving revive As the traveller sees farthest by day and becomes aware of
rugged mountains and trackless plains which the friendly darkness had shrouded
from his sight and mind together so the wayfarer in the toilsome path of human
life sees with each returning sun some new obstacle to surmount some new
height to be attained Distances stretch out before him which last night were
scarcely taken into account and the light which gilds all nature with its
cheerful beams seems but to shine upon the weary obstacles that yet lie strewn
between him and the grave
So thought Nicholas when with the impatience natural to a situation like
his he softly left the house and feeling as though to remain in bed were to
lose most precious time and to be up and stirring were in some way to promote
the end he had in view wandered into London perfectly well knowing that for
hours to come he could not obtain speech with Madeline and could do nothing but
wish the intervening time away
And even now as he paced the streets and listlessly looked round on the
gradually increasing bustle and preparation for the day everything appeared to
yield him some new occasion for despondency Last night the sacrifice of a
young affectionate and beautiful creature to such a wretch and in such a
cause had seemed a thing too monstrous to succeed and the warmer he grew the
more confident he felt that some interposition must save her from his clutches
But now when he thought how regularly things went on from day to day in the
same unvarying round how youth and beauty died and ugly griping age lived
tottering on how crafty avarice grew rich and manly honest hearts were poor
and sad how few they were who tenanted the stately houses and how many those
who lay in noisome pens or rose each day and laid them down each night and
lived and died father and son mother and child race upon race generation
upon generation without a home to shelter them or the energies of one single
man directed to their aid how in seeking not a luxurious and splendid life
but the bare means of a most wretched and inadequate subsistence there were
women and children in that one town divided into classes numbered and
estimated as regularly as the noble families and folks of great degree and
reared from infancy to drive most criminal and dreadful trades how ignorance
was punished and never taught how jaildoors gaped and gallows loomed for
thousands urged towards them by circumstances darkly curtaining their very
cradles heads and but for which they might have earned their honest bread and
lived in peace how many died in soul and had no chance of life how many who
could scarcely go astray be they vicious as they would turned haughtily from
the crushed and stricken wretch who could scarce do otherwise and who would
have been a greater wonder had he or she done well than even they had they done
ill how much injustice misery and wrong there was and yet how the world
rolled on from year to year alike careless and indifferent and no man seeking
to remedy or redress it when he thought of all this and selected from the mass
the one slight case on which his thoughts were bent he felt indeed that there
was little ground for hope and little reason why it should not form an atom in
the huge aggregate of distress and sorrow and add one small and unimportant
unit to swell the great amount
But youth is not prone to contemplate the darkest side of a picture it can
shift at will By dint of reflecting on what he had to do and reviving the
train of thought which night had interrupted Nicholas gradually summoned up his
utmost energy and when the morning was sufficiently advanced for his purpose
had no thought but that of using it to the best advantage A hasty breakfast
taken and such affairs of business as required prompt attention disposed of he
directed his steps to the residence of Madeline Bray whither he lost no time in
arriving
It had occurred to him that very possibly the young lady might be denied
although to him she never had been and he was still pondering upon the surest
method of obtaining access to her in that case when coming to the door of the
house he found it had been left ajar probably by the last person who had gone
out The occasion was not one upon which to observe the nicest ceremony
therefore availing himself of this advantage Nicholas walked gently up stairs
and knocked at the door of the room into which he had been accustomed to be
shown Receiving permission to enter from some person on the other side he
opened the door and walked in
Bray and his daughter were sitting there alone It was nearly three weeks
since he had seen her last but there was a change in the lovely girl before him
which told Nicholas in startling terms how much mental suffering had been
compressed into that short time There are no words which can express nothing
with which can be compared the perfect pallor the clear transparent whiteness
of the beautiful face which turned towards him when he entered Her hair was a
rich deep brown but shading that face and straying upon a neck that rivalled
it in whiteness it seemed by the strong contrast raven black Something of
wildness and restlessness there was in the dark eye but there was the same
patient look the same expression of gentle mournfulness which he well
remembered and no trace of a single tear Most beautiful more beautiful
perhaps than ever there was something in her face which quite unmanned him
and appeared far more touching than the wildest agony of grief It was not
merely calm and composed but fixed and rigid as though the violent effort
which had summoned that composure beneath her fathers eye while it mastered
all other thoughts had prevented even the momentary expression they had
communicated to the features from subsiding and had fastened it there as an
evidence of its triumph
The father sat opposite to her not looking directly in her face but
glancing at her as he talked with a gay air which ill disguised the anxiety of
his thoughts The drawing materials were not on their accustomed table nor were
any of the other tokens of her usual occupations to be seen The little vases
which Nicholas had always seen filled with fresh flowers were empty or
supplied only with a few withered stalks and leaves The bird was silent The
cloth that covered his cage at night was not removed His mistress had
forgotten him
There are times when the mind, being painfully alive to receive impressions
a great deal may be noted at a glance This was one for Nicholas had but
glanced round him when he was recognised by Mr Bray who said impatiently
»Now sir what do you want Name your errand here quickly if you please
for my daughter and I are busily engaged with other and more important matters
than those you come about Come sir address yourself to your business at
once«
Nicholas could very well discern that the irritability and impatience of
this speech were assumed and that Bray in his heart was rejoiced at any
interruption which promised to engage the attention of his daughter He bent his
eyes involuntarily upon the father as he spoke and marked his uneasiness for
he coloured and turned his head away
The device however so far as it was a device for causing Madeline to
interfere was successful She rose and advancing towards Nicholas paused half
way and stretched out her hand as expecting a letter
»Madeline« said her father impatiently »my love what are you doing«
»Miss Bray expects an inclosure perhaps« said Nicholas speaking very
distinctly and with an emphasis she could scarcely misunderstand »My employer
is absent from England or I should have brought a letter with me I hope she
will give me time a little time I ask a very little time«
»If that is all you come about sir« said Mr Bray »you may make yourself
easy on that head Madeline my dear I didnt know this person was in your
debt«
»A a trifle I believe« returned Madeline faintly
»I suppose you think now« said Bray wheeling his chair round and
confronting Nicholas »that but for such pitiful sums as you bring here
because my daughter has chosen to employ her time as she has we should starve«
»I have not thought about it« returned Nicholas
»You have not thought about it« sneered the invalid »You know you have
thought about it and have thought that and think so every time you come here
Do you suppose young man that I dont know what little purseproud tradesmen
are when through some fortunate circumstances they get the upper hand for a
brief day or think they get the upper hand of a gentleman«
»My business« said Nicholas respectfully »is with a lady«
»With a gentlemans daughter sir« returned the sick man »and the
pettifogging spirit is the same But perhaps you bring orders eh Have you any
fresh orders for my daughter sir«
Nicholas understood the tone of triumph in which this interrogatory was put
but remembering the necessity of supporting his assumed character produced a
scrap of paper purporting to contain a list of some subjects for drawings which
his employer desired to have executed and with which he had prepared himself in
case of any such contingency
»Oh« said Mr Bray »These are the orders are they«
»Since you insist upon the term, sir yes« replied Nicholas
»Then you may tell your master« said Bray tossing the paper back again
with an exulting smile »that my daughter Miss Madeline Bray condescends to
employ herself no longer in such labours as these that she is not at his beck
and call as he supposes her to be that we dont live upon his money as he
flatters himself we do that he may give whatever he owes us to the first
beggar who passes his shop or add it to his own profits next time he calculates
them and that he may go to the devil for me Thats my acknowledgment of his
orders sir«
»And this is the independence of a man who sells his daughter as he has sold
that weeping girl« thought Nicholas
The father was too much absorbed with his own exultation to mark the look of
scorn which for an instant Nicholas could not have suppressed had he been upon
the rack »There« he continued after a short silence »you have your message
and can retire unless you have any further ha any further orders«
»I have none« said Nicholas »nor in consideration of the station you once
held have I used that or any other word which however harmless in itself,
could be supposed to imply authority on my part or dependence on yours I have
no orders but I have fears fears that I will express chafe as you may
fears that you may be consigning that young lady to something worse than
supporting you by the labour of her hands had she worked herself dead These
are my fears and these fears I found upon your own demeanour Your conscience
will tell you sir whether I construe it well or not«
»For Heavens sake« cried Madeline interposing in alarm between them
»Remember sir he is ill«
»Ill« cried the invalid gasping and catching for breath »Ill Ill I am
bearded and bullied by a shopboy and she beseeches him to pity me and remember
I am ill«
He fell into a paroxysm of his disorder so violent that for a few moments
Nicholas was alarmed for his life but finding that he began to recover he
withdrew after signifying by a gesture to the young lady that he had something
important to communicate and would wait for her outside the room He could hear
that the sick man came gradually but slowly to himself and that without any
reference to what had just occurred as though he had no distinct recollection
of it as yet he requested to be left alone
»Oh« thought Nicholas »that this slender chance might not be lost and
that I might prevail if it were but for one weeks time and reconsideration«
»You are charged with some commission to me sir« said Madeline presenting
herself in great agitation »Do not press it now I beg and pray you The day
after tomorrow come here then«
»It will be too late too late for what I have to say« rejoined Nicholas
»and you will not be here Oh madam if you have but one thought of him who
sent me here but one last lingering care for your own peace of mind and heart
I do for Gods sake urge you to give me a hearing«
She attempted to pass him but Nicholas gently detained her
»A hearing« said Nicholas »I ask you but to hear me not me alone but him
for whom I speak who is far away and does not know your danger In the name of
Heaven hear me«
The poor attendant with her eyes swollen and red with weeping stood by to
her Nicholas appealed in such passionate terms that she opened a sidedoor
and supporting her mistress into an adjoining room beckoned Nicholas to follow
them
»Leave me sir pray« said the young lady
»I cannot will not leave you thus« returned Nicholas »I have a duty to
discharge and either here or in the room from which we have just now come at
whatever risk or hazard to Mr Bray I must beseech you to contemplate again the
fearful course to which you have been impelled«
»What course is this you speak of and impelled by whom sir« demanded the
young lady with an effort to speak proudly
»I speak of this marriage« returned Nicholas »of this marriage fixed for
tomorrow by one who never faltered in a bad purpose or lent his aid to any
good design of this marriage the history of which is known to me better far
better than it is to you I know what web is wound about you I know what men
they are from whom these schemes have come You are betrayed and sold for
money for gold whose every coin is rusted with tears if not red with the
blood of ruined men who have fallen desperately by their own mad hands«
»You say you have a duty to discharge« said Madeline »and so have I And
with the help of Heaven I will perform mine«
»Say rather with the help of devils« replied Nicholas »with the help of
men one of them your destined husband who are «
»I must not hear this« cried the young lady striving to repress a shudder
occasioned as it seemed even by this slight allusion to Arthur Gride »This
evil if evil it be has been of my own seeking I am impelled to this course by
no one but follow it of my own free will You see I am not constrained or
forced Report this« said Madeline »to my dear friend and benefactor and
taking with you my prayers and thanks for him and for yourself leave me for
ever«
»Not until I have besought you with all the earnestness and fervour by
which I am animated« cried Nicholas »to postpone this marriage for one short
week Not until I have besought you to think more deeply than you can have
done influenced as you are upon the step you are about to take Although you
cannot be fully conscious of the villainy of this man to whom you are about to
give your hand some of his deeds you know You have heard him speak and have
looked upon his face Reflect reflect before it is too late on the mockery of
plighting to him at the altar faith in which your heart can have no share of
uttering solemn words against which nature and reason must rebel of the
degradation of yourself in your own esteem which must ensue and must be
aggravated every day as his detested character opens upon you more and more
Shrink from the loathsome companionship of this wretch as you would from
corruption and disease Suffer toil and labour if you will but shun him shun
him and be happy For believe me I speak the truth the most abject poverty
the most wretched condition of human life with a pure and upright mind would
be happiness to that which you must undergo as the wife of such a man as this«
Long before Nicholas ceased to speak the young lady buried her face in her
hands and gave her tears free way In a voice at first inarticulate with
emotion but gradually recovering strength as she proceeded she answered him
»I will not disguise from you sir though perhaps I ought that I have
undergone great pain of mind and have been nearly brokenhearted since I saw
you last I do not love this gentleman The difference between our ages tastes
and habits forbids it This he knows and knowing still offers me his hand By
accepting it and by that step alone I can release my father who is dying in
this place prolong his life perhaps for many years restore him to comfort
I may almost call it affluence and relieve a generous man from the burden of
assisting one by whom I grieve to say his noble heart is little understood
Do not think so poorly of me as to believe that I feign a love I do not feel Do
not report so ill of me for that I could not bear If I cannot in reason or in
nature, love the man who pays this price for my poor hand I can discharge the
duties of a wife I can be all he seeks in me and will He is content to take
me as I am I have passed my word and should rejoice not weep that it is so
I do The interest you take in one so friendless and forlorn as I the delicacy
with which you have discharged your trust the faith you have kept with me have
my warmest thanks and while I make this last feeble acknowledgment move me to
tears as you see But I do not repent nor am I unhappy I am happy in the
prospect of all I can achieve so easily I shall be more so when I look back
upon it and all is done I know«
»Your tears fall faster as you talk of happiness« said Nicholas »and you
shun the contemplation of that dark future which must be laden with so much
misery to you Defer this marriage for a week For but one week«
»He was talking when you came upon us just now with such smiles as I
remember to have seen of old and have not seen for many and many a day of the
freedom that was to come tomorrow« said Madeline with momentary firmness »of
the welcome change the fresh air all the new scenes and objects that would
bring fresh life to his exhausted frame His eye grew bright and his face
lightened at the thought I will not defer it for an hour«
»These are but tricks and wiles to urge you on« cried Nicholas
»Ill hear no more« said Madeline hurriedly »I have heard too much more
than I should already What I have said to you sir I have said as to that
dear friend to whom I trust in you honorably to repeat it Some time hence when
I am more composed and reconciled to my new mode of life if I should live so
long I will write to him Meantime all holy angels shower blessings on his
head and prosper and preserve him«
She was hurrying past Nicholas when he threw himself before her and
implored her to think but once again upon the fate to which she was
precipitately hastening
»There is no retreat« said Nicholas in an agony of supplication »no
withdrawing All regret will be unavailing and deep and bitter it must be What
can I say that will induce you to pause at this last moment What can I do to
save you«
»Nothing« she incoherently replied »This is the hardest trial I have had
Have mercy on me sir I beseech and do not pierce my heart with such appeals
as these I I hear him calling I I must not will not remain here for
another instant«
»If this were a plot« said Nicholas with the same violent rapidity with
which she spoke »a plot not yet laid bare by me but which with time I might
unravel if you were not knowing it entitled to fortune of your own which
being recovered would do all that this marriage can accomplish would you not
retract«
»No no no It is impossible it is a childs tale Time would bring his
death He is calling again«
»It may be the last time we shall ever meet on earth« said Nicholas »it
may be better for me that we should never meet more«
»For both for both« replied Madeline not heeding what she said »The time
will come when to recal the memory of this one interview might drive me mad Be
sure to tell them that you left me calm and happy And God be with you sir
and my grateful heart and blessing«
She was gone Nicholas staggering from the house thought of the hurried
scene which had just closed upon him as if it were the phantom of some wild
unquiet dream The day wore on at night having been enabled in some measure to
collect his thoughts he issued forth again
That night being the last of Arthur Grides bachelorship found him in
tiptop spirits and great glee The bottlegreen suit had been brushed ready
for the morrow Peg Sliderskew had rendered the accounts of her past
housekeeping the eighteenpence had been rigidly accounted for she was never
trusted with a larger sum at once and the accounts were not usually balanced
more than twice aday every preparation had been made for the coming festival
and Arthur might have sat down and contemplated his approaching happiness but
that he preferred sitting down and contemplating the entries in a dirty old
vellumbook with rusty clasps
»Welladay« he chuckled as sinking on his knees before a strong chest
screwed down to the floor he thrust in his arm nearly up to the shoulder and
slowly drew forth this greasy volume »Welladay now this is all my library
but its one of the most entertaining books that were ever written Its a
delightful book and all true and real thats the best of it true as the
Bank of England and real as its gold and silver Written by Arthur Gride He
he he None of your storybook writers will ever make as good a book as this I
warrant me Its composed for private circulation for my own particular
reading and nobody elses He he he«
Muttering this soliloquy Arthur carried his precious volume to the table
and adjusting it upon a dusty desk put on his spectacles and began to pore
among the leaves
»Its a large sum to Mr Nickleby« he said in a dolorous voice »Debt to
be paid in full nine hundred and seventyfive four three Additional sum as
per bond five hundred One thousand four hundred and seventyfive pounds four
shillings and threepence tomorrow at twelve oclock On the other side
though theres the per contra by means of this pretty chick But again
theres the question whether I mightnt have brought all this about myself
Faint heart never won fair lady Why was my heart so faint Why didnt I boldly
open it to Bray myself and save one thousand four hundred and seventyfive
four three«
These reflections depressed the old usurer so much as to wring a feeble
groan or two from his breast and cause him to declare with uplifted hands
that he would die in a workhouse Remembering on further cogitation however
that under any circumstances he must have paid or handsomely compounded for
Ralphs debt and being by no means confident that he would have succeeded had
he undertaken his enterprise alone he regained his equanimity and chattered
and mowed over more satisfactory items until the entrance of Peg Sliderskew
interrupted him
»Aha Peg« said Arthur »what is it What is it now Peg«
»Its the fowl« replied Peg holding up a plate containing a little a very
little one Quite a phenomenon of a fowl So very small and skinny
»A beautiful bird« said Arthur after inquiring the price and finding it
proportionate to the size »With a rasher of ham and an egg made into sauce
and potatoes and greens and an apple pudding Peg and a little bit of cheese
we shall have a dinner for an emperor Therell only be she and me and you
Peg when weve done«
»Dont you complain of the expense afterwards« said Mrs Sliderskew
sulkily
»Im afraid we must live expensively for the first week« returned Arthur
with a groan »and then we must make up for it I wont eat more than I can
help and I know you love your old master too much to eat more than you can
help dont you Peg«
»Dont I what« said Peg
»Love your old master too much «
»No not a bit too much« said Peg
»Oh dear I wish the devil had this woman« cried Arthur »love him too much
to eat more than you can help at his expense«
»At his what« said Peg
»Oh dear She can never hear the most important word and hears all the
others« whined Gride »At his expense you catamaran«
The lastmentioned tribute to the charms of Mrs Sliderskew being uttered
in a whisper that lady assented to the general proposition by a harsh growl
which was accompanied by a ring at the streetdoor
»Theres the bell« said Arthur
»Ay ay I know that« rejoined Peg
»Then why dont you go« bawled Arthur
»Go where« retorted Peg »I aint doing any harm here am I«
Arthur Gride in reply repeated the word bell as loud as he could roar and
his meaning being rendered further intelligible to Mrs Sliderskews dull sense
of hearing by pantomime expressive of ringing at a streetdoor Peg hobbled out
after sharply demanding why he hadnt said there was a ring before instead of
talking about all manner of things that had nothing to do with it and keeping
her halfpint of beer waiting on the steps
»Theres a change come over you Mrs Peg« said Arthur following her out
with his eyes »What it means I dont quite know but if it lasts we shant
agree together long I see You are turning crazy I think If you are you must
take yourself off Mrs Peg or be taken off Alls one to me« Turning over
the leaves of his book as he muttered this he soon lighted upon something which
attracted his attention and forgot Peg Sliderskew and everything else in the
engrossing interest of its pages
The room had no other light than that which it derived from a dim and
dirtclogged lamp whose lazy wick being still further obscured by a dark
shade cast its feeble rays over a very little space, and left all beyond in
heavy shadow This lamp the moneylender had drawn so close to him that there
was only room between it and himself for the book over which he bent and as he
sat with his elbows on the desk and his sharp cheekbones resting on his
hands it only served to bring out his ugly features in strong relief together
with the little table at which he sat and to shroud all the rest of the chamber
in a deep sullen gloom Raising his eyes and looking vacantly into this gloom
as he made some mental calculation Arthur Gride suddenly met the fixed gaze of
a man
»Thieves thieves« shrieked the usurer starting up and folding his book to
his breast »Robbers Murder«
»What is the matter« said the form, advancing
»Keep off« cried the trembling wretch »Is it a man or a a «
»For what do you take me if not for a man« was the inquiry
»Yes yes« cried Arthur Gride shading his eyes with his hand »it is a
man and not a spirit It is a man Robbers robbers«
»For what are these cries raised Unless indeed you know me and have some
purpose in your brain« said the stranger coming close up to him »I am no
thief«
»What then and how come you here« cried Gride somewhat reassured but
still retreating from his visitor »what is your name and what do you want«
»My name you need not know« was the reply »I came here because I was
shown the way by your servant I have addressed you twice or thrice but you
were too profoundly engaged with your book to hear me and I have been silently
waiting until you should be less abstracted What I want I will tell you when
you can summon up courage enough to hear and understand me«
Arthur Gride venturing to regard his visitor more attentively and
perceiving that he was a young man of good mien and bearing returned to his
seat and muttering that there were bad characters about and that this with
former attempts upon his house had made him nervous requested his visitor to
sit down However he declined
»Good God I dont stand up to have you at an advantage« said Nicholas for
Nicholas it was as he observed a gesture of alarm on the part of Gride
»Listen to me You are to be married tomorrow morning«
»Nnno« rejoined Gride »Who said I was How do you know that«
»No matter how« replied Nicholas »I know it The young lady who is to give
you her hand hates and despises you Her blood runs cold at the mention of your
name the vulture and the lamb the rat and the dove could not be worse matched
than you and she You see I know her«
Gride looked at him as if he were petrified with astonishment but did not
speak perhaps lacking the power
»You and another man Ralph Nickleby by name have hatched this plot between
you« pursued Nicholas »You pay him for his share in bringing about this sale
of Madeline Bray You do A lie is trembling on your lips I see«
He paused but Arthur making no reply resumed again
»You pay yourself by defrauding her How or by what means for I scorn to
sully her cause by falsehood or deceit I do not know at present I do not
know but I am not alone or singlehanded in this business If the energy of man
can compass the discovery of your fraud and treachery before your death if
wealth revenge and just hatred can hunt and track you through your windings
you will yet be called to a dear account for this We are on the scent already
judge you who know what we do not when we shall have you down«
He paused again and still Arthur Gride glared upon him in silence
»If you were a man to whom I could appeal with any hope of touching his
compassion or humanity« said Nicholas »I would urge upon you to remember the
helplessness the innocence the youth of this lady her worth and beauty her
filial excellence and last and more than all as concerning you more nearly
the appeal she has made to your mercy and your manly feeling But I take the
only ground that can be taken with men like you and ask what money will buy you
off Remember the danger to which you are exposed You see I know enough to
know much more with very little help Bate some expected gain for the risk you
save and say what is your price«
Old Arthur Gride moved his lips but they only formed an ugly smile and were
motionless again
»You think« said Nicholas »that the price would not be paid Miss Bray has
wealthy friends who would coin their very hearts to save her in such a strait as
this Name your price defer these nuptials for but a few days and see whether
those I speak of shrink from the payment Do you hear me«
When Nicholas began Arthur Grides impression was that Ralph Nickleby had
betrayed him but as he proceeded he felt convinced that however he had come
by the knowledge he possessed the part he acted was a genuine one and that
with Ralph he had no concern All he seemed to know for certain was that he
Gride paid Ralphs debt but that to anybody who knew the circumstances of
Brays detention even to Bray himself on Ralphs own statement must be
perfectly notorious As to the fraud on Madeline herself his visitor knew so
little about its nature or extent that it might be a lucky guess or a
haphazard accusation Whether or no he had clearly no key to the mystery and
could not hurt him who kept it close within his own breast The allusion to
friends and the offer of money Gride held to be mere empty vapouring for
purposes of delay »And even if money were to be had« thought Arthur Gride as
he glanced at Nicholas and trembled with passion at his boldness and audacity
»Id have that dainty chick for my wife and cheat you of her young
smoothface«
Long habit of weighing and noting well what clients said and nicely
balancing chances in his mind and calculating odds to their faces without the
least appearance of being so engaged had rendered Gride quick in forming
conclusions and arriving from puzzling intricate and often contradictory
premises at very cunning deductions Hence it was that as Nicholas went on
he followed him closely with his own constructions and when he ceased to
speak was as well prepared as if he had deliberated for a fortnight
»I hear you« he cried starting from his seat casting back the fastenings
of the windowshutters and throwing up the sash »Help here Help Help«
»What are you doing« said Nicholas seizing him by the arm
»Ill cry robbers thieves murder alarm the neighbourhood struggle with
you let loose some blood and swear you came to rob me if you dont quit my
house« replied Gride drawing in his head with a frightful grin »I will«
»Wretch« cried Nicholas
»Youll bring your threats here will you« said Gride whom jealousy of
Nicholas and a sense of his own triumph had converted into a perfect fiend
»You the disappointed lover Oh dear He he he But you shant have her nor
she you Shes my wife my doting little wife Do you think shell miss you Do
you think shell weep I shall like to see her weep I shant mind it She looks
prettier in tears«
»Villain« said Nicholas choking with his rage
»One minute more« cried Arthur Gride »and Ill rouse the street with such
screams as if they were raised by any body else should wake me even in the
arms of pretty Madeline«
»You hound« said Nicholas »If you were but a younger man «
»Oh yes« sneered Arthur Gride »if I was but a younger man it wouldnt be
so bad but for me so old and ugly To be jilted by little Madeline for me«
»Hear me« said Nicholas »and be thankful I have enough command over myself
not to fling you into the street which no aid could prevent my doing if I once
grappled with you I have been no lover of this ladys No contract or
engagement no word of love has ever passed between us She does not even know
my name«
»Ill ask it for all that Ill beg it of her with kisses« said Arthur
Gride »Yes and shell tell me and pay them back and well laugh together
and hug ourselves and be very merry when we think of the poor youth that
wanted to have her but couldnt because she was bespoke by me«
This taunt brought such an expression into the face of Nicholas that Arthur
Gride plainly apprehended it to be the forerunner of his putting his threat of
throwing him into the street in immediate execution for he thrust his head out
of the window and holding tight on with both hands raised a pretty brisk
alarm Not thinking it necessary to abide the issue of the noise Nicholas gave
vent to an indignant defiance and stalked from the room and from the house
Arthur Gride watched him across the street and then drawing in his head
fastened the window as before and sat down to take breath
»If she ever turns pettish or illhumoured Ill taunt her with that spark«
he said when he had recovered »Shell little think I know about him and if I
manage it well I can break her spirit by this means and have her under my
thumb Im glad nobody came I didnt call too loud The audacity to enter my
house and open upon me But I shall have a very good triumph tomorrow and
hell be gnawing his fingers off perhaps drown himself or cut his throat I
shouldnt wonder That would make it quite complete that would quite«
When he had become restored to his usual condition by these and other
comments on his approaching triumph Arthur Gride put away his book and having
locked the chest with great caution descended into the kitchen to warn Peg
Sliderskew to bed and scold her for having afforded such ready admission to a
stranger
The unconscious Peg however not being able to comprehend the offence of
which she had been guilty he summoned her to hold the light while he made a
tour of the fastenings and secured the streetdoor with his own hands
»Top bolt« muttered Arthur fastening as he spoke »bottom bolt chain
bar doublelock and key out to put under my pillow So if any more rejected
admirers come they may come through the keyhole And now Ill go to sleep till
halfpast five when I must get up to be married Peg«
With that he jocularly tapped Mrs Sliderskew under the chin and appeared
for the moment inclined to celebrate the close of his bachelor days by
imprinting a kiss on her shrivelled lips Thinking better of it however he
gave her chin another tap in lieu of that warmer familiarity and stole away to
bed
Chapter LIV
The Crisis of the Project and Its Result
There are not many men who lie abed too late or oversleep themselves on their
wedding morning A legend there is of somebody remarkable for absence of mind
who opened his eyes upon the day which was to give him a young wife and
forgetting all about the matter rated his servants for providing him with such
fine clothes as had been prepared for the festival There is also a legend of a
young gentleman who not having before his eyes the fear of the canons of the
church for such cases made and provided conceived a passion for his
grandmother Both cases are of a singular and special kind and it is very
doubtful whether either can be considered as a precedent likely to be
extensively followed by succeeding generations
Arthur Gride had enrobed himself in his marriage garments of bottlegreen a
full hour before Mrs Sliderskew shaking off her more heavy slumbers knocked
at his chamber door and he had hobbled down stairs in full array and smacked
his lips over a scanty taste of his favourite cordial ere that delicate piece
of antiquity enlightened the kitchen with her presence
»Faugh« said Peg grubbing in the discharge of her domestic functions
among a scanty heap of ashes in the rusty grate »Wedding indeed A precious
wedding He wants somebody better than his old Peg to take care of him does he
And what has he said to me many and many a time to keep me content with short
food small wages and little fire My will Peg my will says he Im a
bachelor no friends no relations Peg Lies And now hes to bring home a
new mistress a babyfaced chit of a girl If he wanted a wife the fool why
couldnt he have one suitable to his age and that knew his ways She wont come
in my way he says No that she wont but you little think why Arthur boy«
While Mrs Sliderskew influenced possibly by some lingering feelings of
disappointment and personal slight occasioned by her old masters preference
for another was giving loose to these grumblings below stairs Arthur Gride was
cogitating in the parlour upon what had taken place last night
»I cant think how he can have picked up what he knows« said Arthur
»unless I have committed myself let something drop at Brays for instance
which has been overheard Perhaps I may I shouldnt be surprised if that was
it Mr Nickleby was often angry at my talking to him before we got outside the
door I musnt tell him that part of the business or hell put me out of sorts
and make me nervous for the day«
Ralph was universally looked up to and recognised among his fellows as a
superior genius but upon Arthur Gride his stern unyielding character and
consummate art had made so deep an impression that he was actually afraid of
him Cringing and cowardly to the core by nature Arthur Gride humbled himself
in the dust before Ralph Nickleby and even when they had not this stake in
common would have licked his shoes and crawled upon the ground before him
rather than venture to return him word for word or retort upon him in any other
spirit than one of the most slavish and abject sycophancy
To Ralph Nicklebys Arthur Gride now betook himself according to
appointment and to Ralph Nickleby he related how last night some young
blustering blade whom he had never seen forced his way into his house and
tried to frighten him from the proposed nuptials Told in short what Nicholas
had said and done with the slight reservation upon which he had determined
»Well and what then« said Ralph
»Oh nothing more« rejoined Gride
»He tried to frighten you« said Ralph »and you were frightened I suppose
is that it«
»I frightened him by crying thieves and murder« replied Gride »Once I was
in earnest I tell you that for I had more than half a mind to swear he uttered
threats and demanded my life or my money«
»Oho« said Ralph eyeing him askew »Jealous too«
»Dear now see that« cried Arthur rubbing his hands and affecting to
laugh
»Why do you make those grimaces man« said Ralph »you are jealous and
with good cause I think«
»No no no not with good cause hey You dont think with good cause do
you« cried Arthur faltering »Do you though hey«
»Why how stands the fact« returned Ralph »Here is an old man about to be
forced in marriage upon a girl and to this old man there comes a handsome young
fellow you said he was handsome didnt you«
»No« snarled Arthur Gride
»Oh« rejoined Ralph »I thought you did Well Handsome or not handsome to
this old man there comes a young fellow who casts all manner of fierce defiances
in his teeth gums I should rather say and tells him in plain terms that his
mistress hates him What does he do that for Philanthropys sake«
»Not for love of the lady« replied Gride »for he said that no word of love
his very words had ever passed between em«
»He said« repeated Ralph contemptuously »But I like him for one thing
and that is his giving you this fair warning to keep your what is it
Tittit or dainty chick which under lock and key Be careful Gride be
careful Its a triumph too to tear her away from a gallant young rival a
great triumph for an old man It only remains to keep her safe when you have her
thats all«
»What a man it is« cried Arthur Gride affecting in the extremity of his
torture to be highly amused And then he added anxiously »Yes to keep her
safe thats all And that isnt much is it«
»Much« said Ralph with a sneer »Why everybody knows what easy things to
understand and to control women are But come its very nearly time for you to
be made happy Youll pay the bond now I suppose to save us trouble
afterwards«
»Oh what a man you are« croaked Arthur
»Why not« said Ralph »Nobody will pay you interest for the money I
suppose between this and twelve oclock will they«
»But nobody would pay you interest for it either you know« returned
Arthur leering at Ralph with all the cunning and slyness he could throw into
his face
»Besides which« said Ralph suffering his lip to curl into a smile »you
havent the money about you and you werent prepared for this or youd have
brought it with you and theres nobody youd so much like to accommodate as me
I see We trust each other in about an equal degree Are you ready«
Gride who had done nothing but grin and nod and chatter during this last
speech of Ralphs answered in the affirmative and producing from his hat a
couple of large white favours pinned one on his breast and with considerable
difficulty induced his friend to do the like Thus accoutred they got into a
hired coach which Ralph had in waiting and drove to the residence of the fair
and most wretched bride
Gride whose spirits and courage had gradually failed him more and more as
they approached nearer and nearer to the house was utterly dismayed and cowed
by the mournful silence which pervaded it The face of the poor servantgirl
the only person they saw was disfigured with tears and want of sleep There was
nobody to receive or welcome them and they stole up stairs into the usual
sittingroom more like two burglars than the bridegroom and his friend
»One would think« said Ralph speaking in spite of himself in a low and
subdued voice »that there was a funeral going on here and not a wedding«
»He he« tittered his friend »you are so so very funny«
»I need be« remarked Ralph drily »for this is rather dull and chilling
Look a little brisker man and not so hangdog like«
»Yes yes I will« said Gride »But but you dont think shes coming
just yet do you«
»Why I suppose shell not come till she is obliged« returned Ralph
looking at his watch »and she has a good halfhour to spare yet Curb your
impatience«
»I I am not impatient« stammered Arthur »I wouldnt be hard with her
for the world Oh dear dear not on any account Let her take her time her
own time Her time shall be ours by all means«
While Ralph bent upon his trembling friend a keen look which showed that he
perfectly understood the reason of this great consideration and regard a
footstep was heard upon the stairs and Bray himself came into the room on
tiptoe and holding up his hand with a cautious gesture as if there were some
sick person near who must not be disturbed
»Hush« he said in a low voice »She was very ill last night I thought
she would have broken her heart She is dressed and crying bitterly in her own
room but shes better and quite quiet Thats everything«
»She is ready is she« said Ralph
»Quite ready« returned the father
»And not likely to delay us by any younglady weaknesses fainting or so
forth« said Ralph
»She may be safely trusted now« returned Bray »I have been talking to her
this morning Here Come a little this way«
He drew Ralph Nickleby to the further end of the room and pointed towards
Gride who sat huddled together in a corner fumbling nervously with the buttons
of his coat and exhibiting a face of which every skulking and base expression
was sharpened and aggravated to the utmost by his anxiety and trepidation
»Look at that man« whispered Bray emphatically »This seems a cruel thing
after all«
»What seems a cruel thing« inquired Ralph with as much stolidity of face
as if he really were in utter ignorance of the others meaning
»This marriage« answered Bray »Dont ask me what You know as well as I
do«
Ralph shrugged his shoulders in silent deprecation of Brays impatience
and elevated his eyebrows and pursed his lips as men do when they are prepared
with a sufficient answer to some remark but wait for a more favourable
opportunity of advancing it or think it scarcely worth while to answer their
adversary at all
»Look at him Does it not seem cruel« said Bray
»No« replied Ralph boldly
»I say it does« retorted Bray with a show of much irritation »It is a
cruel thing by all thats bad and treacherous«
When men are about to commit or to sanction the commission of some
injustice it is not uncommon for them to express pity for the object either of
that or some parallel proceeding and to feel themselves at the time quite
virtuous and moral and immensely superior to those who express no pity at all
This is a kind of upholding of faith above works and is very comfortable To do
Ralph Nickleby justice he seldom practised this sort of dissimulation but he
understood those who did and therefore suffered Bray to say again and again
with great vehemence that they were jointly doing a very cruel thing before he
again offered to interpose a word
»You see what a dry shrivelled withered old chip it is« returned Ralph
when the other was at length silent »If he were younger it might be cruel but
as it is harkee Mr Bray hell die soon and leave her a rich young widow
Miss Madeline consults your taste this time let her consult her own next«
»True true« said Bray biting his nails and plainly very ill at ease »I
couldnt do anything better for her than advise her to accept these proposals
could I Now I ask you Nickleby as a man of the world could I«
»Surely not« answered Ralph »I tell you what sir there are a hundred
fathers within a circuit of five miles from this place well off good rich
substantial men who would gladly give their daughters and their own ears with
them to that very man yonder ape and mummy as he looks«
»So there are« exclaimed Bray eagerly catching at anything which seemed a
justification of himself »And so I told her both last night and today«
»You told her truth« said Ralph »and did well to do so though I must say
at the same time that if I had a daughter and my freedom pleasure nay my
very health and life depended on her taking a husband whom I pointed out I
should hope it would not be necessary to advance any other arguments to induce
her to consent to my wishes«
Bray looked at Ralph as if to see whether he spoke in earnest and having
nodded twice or thrice in unqualified assent to what had fallen from him said
»I must go up stairs for a few minutes to finish dressing When I come
down Ill bring Madeline with me Do you know I had a very strange dream last
night which I have not remembered till this instant I dreamt that it was this
morning and you and I had been talking as we have been this minute that I
went up stairs for the very purpose for which I am going now and that as I
stretched out my hand to take Madelines and lead her down the floor sank with
me and after falling from such an indescribable and tremendous height as the
imagination scarcely conceives except in dreams I alighted in a grave«
»And you awoke and found you were lying on your back or with your head
hanging over the bedside or suffering some pain from indigestion« said Ralph
»Pshaw Mr Bray Do as I do you will have the opportunity now that a constant
round of pleasure and enjoyment opens upon you and occupying yourself a
little more by day have no time to think of what you dream by night«
Ralph followed him with a steady look to the door turning to the
bridegroom when they were again alone he said
»Mark my words Gride you wont have to pay his annuity very long You have
the devils luck in bargains always If he is not booked to make the long
voyage before many months are past and gone I wear an orange for a head«
To this prophecy so agreeable to his ears Arthur returned no answer than a
cackle of great delight Ralph throwing himself into a chair they both sat
waiting in profound silence Ralph was thinking with a sneer upon his lips on
the altered manner of Bray that day and how soon their fellowship in a bad
design had lowered his pride and established a familiarity between them when
his attentive ear caught the rustling of a female dress upon the stairs and the
footstep of a man
»Wake up« he said stamping his foot impatiently upon the ground »and be
something like life man will you They are here Urge those dry old bones of
yours this way Quick man quick«
Gride shambled forward and stood leering and bowing close by Ralphs
side when the door opened and there entered in haste not Bray and his
daughter but Nicholas and his sister Kate
If some tremendous apparition from the world of shadows had suddenly
presented itself before him Ralph Nickleby could not have been more
thunderstricken than he was by this surprise His hands fell powerless by his
side he reeled back and with open mouth and a face of ashy paleness stood
gazing at them in speechless rage His eyes were so prominent and his face was
so convulsed and changed by the passions which raged within him that it would
have been difficult to recognise in him the same stern composed hardfeatured
man he had been not a minute ago
»The man that came to me last night« whispered Gride plucking at his
elbow »The man that came to me last night«
»I see« muttered Ralph »I know I might have guessed as much before
Across my every path at every turn go where I will do what I may he comes«
The absence of all colour from the face the dilated nostril the quivering
of the lips which though set firmly against each other would not be still
showed what emotions were struggling for the mastery with Nicholas But he kept
them down and gently pressing Kates arm to reassure her stood erect and
undaunted front to front with his unworthy relative
As the brother and sister stood side by side with a gallant bearing which
became them well a close likeness between them was apparent which many had
they only seen them apart might have failed to remark The air carriage and
very look and expression of the brother were all reflected in the sister but
softened and refined to the nicest limit of feminine delicacy and attraction
More striking still was some indefinable resemblance in the face of Ralph to
both While they had never looked more handsome nor he more ugly while they
had never held themselves more proudly nor he shrunk half so low there never
had been a time when this resemblance was so perceptible or when all the worst
characteristics of a face rendered coarse and harsh by evil thoughts were half
so manifest as now
»Away« was the first word he could utter as he literally gnashed his teeth
»Away What brings you here Liar scoundrel dastard thief«
»I come here« said Nicholas in a low deep voice »to save your victim if I
can Liar and scoundrel you are in every action of your life theft is your
trade and double dastard you must be or you were not here today Hard words
will not move me nor would hard blows Here I stand and will till I have done
my errand«
»Girl« said Ralph »retire We can use force to him but I would not hurt
you if I could help it Retire you weak and silly wench and leave this dog to
be dealt with as he deserves«
»I will not retire« cried Kate with flashing eyes and the red blood
mantling in her cheeks »You will do him no hurt that he will not repay You may
use force with me I think you will for I am a girl and that would well become
you But if I have a girls weakness I have a womans heart and it is not you
who in a cause like this can turn that from its purpose«
»And what may your purpose be most lofty lady« said Ralph
»To offer to the unhappy subject of your treachery at this last moment«
replied Nicholas »a refuge and a home If the near prospect of such a husband
as you have provided will not prevail upon her I hope she may be moved by the
prayers and entreaties of one of her own sex At all events they shall be tried
I myself avowing to her father from whom I come and by whom I am commissioned
will render it an act of greater baseness meanness and cruelty in him if he
still dares to force this marriage on Here I wait to see him and his daughter
For this I came and brought my sister even into your presence Our purpose is
not to see or speak with you therefore to you we stoop to say no more«
»Indeed« said Ralph »You persist in remaining here maam do you«
His nieces bosom heaved with the indignant excitement into which he had
lashed her but she gave him no reply
»Now Gride see here« said Ralph »This fellow I grieve to say my
brothers son a reprobate and profligate stained with every mean and selfish
crime this fellow coming here today to disturb a solemn ceremony and
knowing that the consequence of his presenting himself in another mans house at
such a time and persisting in remaining there must be his being kicked into
the streets and dragged through them like the vagabond he is this fellow mark
you brings with him his sister as a protection thinking we would not expose a
silly girl to the degradation and indignity which is no novelty to him And
even after I have warned her of what must ensue he still keeps her by him as
you see and clings to her apronstrings like a cowardly boy to his mothers Is
this a pretty fellow to talk as big as you have heard him now«
»And as I heard him last night« said Arthur Gride »as I heard him last
night when he sneaked into my house and he he he very soon sneaked out
again when I nearly frightened him to death And he wanting to marry Miss
Madeline too Oh dear Is there anything else hed like Anything else we can
do for him besides giving her up Would he like his debts paid and his house
furnished and a few bank notes for shaving paper if he shaves at all He he
he«
»You will remain girl will you« said Ralph turning upon Kate again »to
be hauled down stairs like a drunken drab as I swear you shall if you stop
here No answer Thank your brother for what follows Gride call down Bray
and not his daughter Let them keep her above«
»If you value your head« said Nicholas taking up a position before the
door and speaking in the same low voice in which he had spoken before and with
no more outward passion than he had before displayed »stay where you are«
»Mind me and not him and call down Bray« said Ralph
»Mind yourself rather than either of us and stay where you are« said
Nicholas
»Will you call down Bray« cried Ralph
»Remember that you come near me at your peril« said Nicholas
Gride hesitated Ralph being by this time as furious as a baffled tiger
made for the door and attempting to pass Kate clasped her arm roughly with
his hand Nicholas with his eyes darting fire seized him by the collar At
that moment a heavy body fell with great violence on the floor above and in
an instant afterwards was heard a most appalling and terrific scream
They all stood still and gazed upon each other Scream succeeded scream a
heavy pattering of feet succeeded many shrill voices clamouring together were
heard to cry »He is dead«
»Stand off« cried Nicholas letting loose all the passion he had restrained
till now »if this is what I scarcely dare to hope it is you are caught
villains in your own toils«
He burst from the room and darting up stairs to the quarter whence the
noise proceeded forced his way through a crowd of persons who quite filled a
small bedchamber and found Bray lying on the floor quite dead his daughter
clinging to the body
»How did this happen« he cried looking wildly about him
Several voices answered together that he had been observed through the
halfopened door reclining in a strange and uneasy position upon a chair that
he had been spoken to several times and not answering was supposed to be
asleep until some person going in and shaking him by the arm he fell heavily
to the ground and was discovered to be dead
»Who is the owner of this house« said Nicholas hastily
An elderly woman was pointed out to him and to her he said as he knelt
down and gently unwound Madelines arms from the lifeless mass round which they
were entwined »I represent this ladys nearest friends as her servant here
knows and must remove her from this dreadful scene This is my sister to whose
charge you confide her My name and address are upon that card and you shall
receive from me all necessary directions for the arrangements that must be made
Stand aside every one of you and give room and air for Gods sake«
The people fell back scarce wondering more at what had just occurred than
at the excitement and impetuosity of him who spoke Nicholas taking the
insensible girl in his arms bore her from the chamber and down stairs into the
room he had just quitted followed by his sister and the faithful servant whom
he charged to procure a coach directly while he and Kate bent over their
beautiful charge and endeavoured but in vain to restore her to animation The
girl performed her office with such expedition that in a very few minutes the
coach was ready
Ralph Nickleby and Gride stunned and paralysed by the awful event which
had so suddenly overthrown their schemes it would not otherwise perhaps have
made much impression on them and carried away by the extraordinary energy and
precipitation of Nicholas which bore down all before him looked on at these
proceedings like men in a dream or trance It was not until every preparation
was made for Madelines immediate removal that Ralph broke silence by declaring
she should not be taken away
»Who says so« cried Nicholas rising from his knee and confronting them
but still retaining Madelines lifeless hand in his
»I« answered Ralph hoarsely
»Hush hush« cried the terrified Gride catching him by the arm again
»Hear what he says«
»Aye« said Nicholas extending his disengaged hand in the air »hear what
he says That both your debts are paid in the one great debt of nature. That the
bond due today at twelve is now waste paper That your contemplated fraud
shall be discovered yet That your schemes are known to man and overthrown by
Heaven Wretches that he defies you both to do your worst«
»This man« said Ralph in a voice scarcely intelligible »this man claims
his wife and he shall have her«
»That man claims what is not his and he should not have her if he were
fifty men with fifty more to back him« said Nicholas
»Who shall prevent him«
»I will«
»By what right I should like to know« said Ralph »By what right I ask«
»By this right That knowing what I do you dare not tempt me further«
said Nicholas »and by this better right that those I serve and with whom you
would have done me base wrong and injury are her nearest and her dearest
friends In their name I bear her hence Give way«
»One word« cried Ralph foaming at the mouth
»Not one« replied Nicholas »I will not hear of one save this Look to
yourself and heed this warning that I give you Day is past in your case and
night is coming on«
»My curse my bitter deadly curse upon you boy«
»Whence will curses come at your command Or what avails a curse or blessing
from a man like you I tell you that misfortune and discovery are thickening
about your head that the structures you have raised through all your illspent
life are crumbling into dust that your path is beset with spies that this
very day ten thousand pounds of your hoarded wealth have gone in one great
crash«
»Tis false« cried Ralph shrinking back
»Tis true and you shall find it so I have no more words to waste Stand
from the door Kate do you go first Lay not a hand on her or on that woman
or on me or so much as brush their garments as they pass you by You let them
pass and he blocks the door again«
Arthur Gride happened to be in the doorway but whether intentionally or
from confusion was not quite apparent Nicholas swung him away with such
violence as to cause him to spin round the room until he was caught by a sharp
angle of the wall and there knocked down and then taking his beautiful burden
in his arms rushed out No one cared to stop him if any were so disposed
Making his way through a mob of people whom a report of the circumstances had
attracted round the house and carrying Madeline in his excitement as easily
as if she were an infant he reached the coach in which Kate and the girl were
already waiting and confiding his charge to them jumped up beside the
coachman and bade him drive away
Chapter LV
Of Family Matters Cares Hopes Disappointments and Sorrows
Although Mrs Nickleby had been made acquainted by her son and daughter with
every circumstance of Madeline Brays history which was known to them although
the responsible situation in which Nicholas stood had been carefully explained
to her and she had been prepared even for the possible contingency of having
to receive the young lady in her own house improbable as such a result had
appeared only a few minutes before it came about still Mrs Nickleby from the
moment when this confidence was first reposed in her late on the previous
evening had remained in an unsatisfactory and profoundly mystified state from
which no explanations or arguments could relieve her and which every fresh
soliloquy and reflection only aggravated more and more
»Bless my heart Kate« so the good lady argued »if the Mr Cheerybles
dont want this young lady to be married why dont they file a bill against the
Lord Chancellor make her a chancery ward and shut her up in the Fleet prison
for safety I have read of such things in the newspapers a hundred times Or
if they are so very fond of her as Nicholas says they are why dont they marry
her themselves one of them I mean And even supposing they dont want her to
be married and dont want to marry her themselves why in the name of wonder
should Nicholas go about the world forbidding peoples banns«
»I dont think you quite understand« said Kate gently
»Well I am sure Kate my dear youre very polite« replied Mrs Nickleby
»I have been married myself I hope and I have seen other people married Not
understand indeed«
»I know you have had great experience dear mama« said Kate »I mean that
perhaps you dont quite understand all the circumstances in this instance We
have stated them awkwardly I dare say«
»That I dare say you have« retorted her mother briskly »Thats very
likely I am not to be held accountable for that though at the same time as
the circumstances speak for themselves I shall take the liberty my love of
saying that I do understand them and perfectly well too whatever you and
Nicholas may choose to think to the contrary Why is such a great fuss made
because this Miss Magdalen is going to marry somebody who is older than herself
Your poor papa was older than I was four years and a half older Jane Dibabs
the Dibabses lived in the beautiful little thatched white house one story high
covered all over with ivy and creeping plants with an exquisite little porch
with twining honeysuckles and all sorts of things where the earwigs used to
fall into ones tea on a summer evening and always fell upon their backs and
kicked dreadfully and where the frogs used to get into the rushlight shades
when one stopped all night and sit up and look through the little holes like
Christians Jane Dibabs she married a man who was a great deal older than
herself and would marry him notwithstanding all that could be said to the
contrary and she was so fond of him that nothing was ever equal to it There
was no fuss made about Jane Dibabs and her husband was a most honorable and
excellent man and everybody spoke well of him Then why should there be any
fuss about this Magdalen«
»Her husband is much older he is not her own choice his character is the
very reverse of that which you have just described Dont you see a broad
distinction between the two cases« said Kate
To this Mrs Nickleby only replied that she durst say she was very stupid
indeed she had no doubt she was for her own children almost as much as told her
so every day of her life to be sure she was a little older than they and
perhaps some foolish people might think she ought reasonably to know best
However no doubt she was wrong of course she was she always was she couldnt
be right she couldnt be expected to be so she had better not expose herself
any more and to all Kates conciliations and concessions for an hour ensuing
the good lady gave no other replies than Oh certainly why did they ask her
her opinion was of no consequence it didnt matter what she said with many
other rejoinders of the same class
In this frame of mind expressed when she had become too resigned for
speech by nods of the head upliftings of the eyes and little beginnings of
groans converted as they attracted attention into short coughs Mrs Nickleby
remained until Nicholas and Kate returned with the object of their solicitude
when having by this time asserted her own importance and becoming besides
interested in the trials of one so young and beautiful she not only displayed
the utmost zeal and solicitude but took great credit to herself for
recommending the course of procedure which her son had adopted frequently
declaring with an expressive look that it was very fortunate things were as
they were and hinting that but for great encouragement and wisdom on her own
part they never could have been brought to that pass
Not to strain the question whether Mrs Nickleby had or had not any great
hand in bringing matters about it is unquestionable that she had strong ground
for exultation The brothers on their return bestowed such commendations on
Nicholas for the part he had taken and evinced so much joy at the altered state
of events and the recovery of their young friend from trials so great and
dangers so threatening that as she more than once informed her daughter she
now considered the fortunes of the family as good as made Mr Charles
Cheeryble indeed Mrs Nickleby positively asserted had in the first
transports of his surprise and delight as good as said so Without precisely
explaining what this qualification meant she subsided whenever she mentioned
the subject into such a mysterious and important state and had such visions of
wealth and dignity in perspective that vague and clouded though they were she
was at such times almost as happy as if she had really been permanently
provided for on a scale of great splendour
The sudden and terrible shock she had received combined with the great
affliction and anxiety of mind which she had for a long time endured proved too
much for Madelines strength Recovering from the state of stupefaction into
which the sudden death of her father happily plunged her she only exchanged
that condition for one of dangerous and active illness When the delicate
physical powers which have been sustained by an unnatural strain upon the mental
energies and a resolute determination not to yield at last give way their
degree of prostration is usually proportionate to the strength of the effort
which has previously upheld them Thus it was that the illness which fell on
Madeline was of no slight or temporary nature but one which for a time
threatened her reason and scarcely worse her life itself
Who slowly recovering from a disorder so severe and dangerous could be
insensible to the unremitting attentions of such a nurse as gentle tender
earnest Kate On whom could the sweet soft voice the light step the delicate
hand the quiet cheerful noiseless discharge of those thousand little offices of
kindness and relief which we feel so deeply when we are ill and forget so
lightly when we are well on whom could they make so deep an impression as on a
young heart stored with every pure and true affection that women cherish almost
a stranger to the endearments and devotion of its own sex save as it learnt
them from itself; rendered by calamity and suffering keenly susceptible of the
sympathy so long unknown and so long sought in vain What wonder that days
became as years in knitting them together What wonder if with every hour of
returning health there came some stronger and sweeter recognition of the
praises which Kate when they recalled old scenes they seemed old now and to
have been acted years ago would lavish on her brother Where would have been
the wonder even if those praises had found a quick response in the breast of
Madeline and if with the image of Nicholas so constantly recurring in the
features of his sister that she could scarcely separate the two she had
sometimes found it equally difficult to assign to each the feelings they had
first inspired and had imperceptibly mingled with her gratitude to Nicholas
some of that warmer feeling which she had assigned to Kate
»My dear« Mrs Nickleby would say coming into the room with an elaborate
caution calculated to discompose the nerves of an invalid rather more than the
entry of a horsesoldier at full gallop »how do you find yourself tonight I
hope you are better«
»Almost well mama« Kate would reply laying down her work and taking
Madelines hand in hers
»Kate« Mrs Nickleby would say reprovingly »dont talk so loud« the
worthy lady herself talking in a whisper that would have made the blood of the
stoutest man run cold in his veins
Kate would take this reproof very quietly and Mrs Nickleby making every
board creak and every thread rustle as she moved stealthily about would add
»My son Nicholas has just come home and I have come according to custom
my dear to know from your own lips exactly how you are for he wont take my
account and never will«
»He is later than usual tonight« perhaps Madeline would reply »Nearly
half an hour«
»Well I never saw such people in all my life as you are for time up
here« Mrs Nickleby would exclaim in great astonishment »I declare I never
did I had not the least idea that Nicholas was after his time not the
smallest Mr Nickleby used to say your poor papa I am speaking of Kate my
dear used to say that appetite was the best clock in the world but you have
no appetite my dear Miss Bray I wish you had and upon my word I really think
you ought to take something that would give you one I am sure I dont know but
I have heard that two or three dozen native lobsters give an appetite though
that comes to the same thing after all for I suppose you must have an appetite
before you can take em If I said lobsters I meant oysters its all the same
Though really how you came to know about Nicholas «
»We happened to be just talking about him mama that was it«
»You never seem to me to be talking about anything else Kate and upon my
word I am quite surprised at your being so very thoughtless You can find
subjects enough to talk about sometimes and when you know how important it is
to keep up Miss Brays spirits and interest her and all that it really is
quite extraordinary to me what can induce you to keep on prose prose prose
din din din everlastingly upon the same theme You are a very kind nurse
Kate and a very good one and I know you mean very well but I will say this
that if it wasnt for me I really dont know what would become of Miss Brays
spirits and so I tell the doctor every day He says he wonders how I sustain my
own and I am sure I very often wonder myself how I can contrive to keep up as I
do Of course its an exertion but still when I know how much depends upon me
in this house I am obliged to make it Theres nothing praiseworthy in that
but its necessary and I do it«
With that Mrs Nickleby would draw up a chair and for some three quarters
of an hour run through a great variety of distracting topics in the most
distracting manner possible tearing herself away at length on the plea that
she must now go and amuse Nicholas while he took his supper After a preliminary
raising of his spirits with the information that she considered the patient
decidedly worse she would further cheer him up by relating how dull listless
and lowspirited Miss Bray was because Kate foolishly talked about nothing else
but him and family matters When she had made Nicholas thoroughly comfortable
with these and other inspiriting remarks she would discourse at length on the
arduous duties she had performed that day and sometimes would be moved to
tears in wondering how if anything were to happen to herself the family would
ever get on without her
At other times when Nicholas came home at night he would be accompanied by
Mr Frank Cheeryble who was commissioned by the brothers to inquire how
Madeline was that evening On such occasions and they were of very frequent
occurrence Mrs Nickleby deemed it of particular importance that she should
have her wits about her for from certain signs and tokens which had attracted
her attention she shrewdly suspected that Mr Frank interested as his uncles
were in Madeline came quite as much to see Kate as to inquire after her the
more especially as the brothers were in constant communication with the medical
man came backwards and forwards very frequently themselves and received a full
report from Nicholas every morning These were proud times for Mrs Nickleby
never was anybody half so discreet and sage as she or half so mysterious
withal and never were there such cunning generalship and such unfathomable
designs as she brought to bear upon Mr Frank with a view of ascertaining
whether her suspicions were well founded and if so of tantalising him into
taking her into his confidence and throwing himself upon her merciful
consideration Extensive was the artillery heavy and light which Mrs Nickleby
brought into play for the furtherance of these great schemes various and
opposite were the means she employed to bring about the end she had in view At
one time she was all cordiality and ease at another all stiffness and
frigidity Now she would seem to open her whole heart to her unhappy victim
the next time they met she would receive him with the most distant and studious
reserve as if a new light had broken in upon her and guessing his intentions
she had resolved to check them in the bud as if she felt it her bounden duty to
act with Spartan firmness and at once and for ever to discourage hopes which
never could be realised At other times when Nicholas was not there to
overhear and Kate was up stairs busily tending her sick friend the worthy lady
would throw out dark hints of an intention to send her daughter to France for
three or four years or to Scotland for the improvement of her health impaired
by her late fatigues or to America on a visit or anywhere that threatened a
long and tedious separation Nay she even went so far as to hint obscurely at
an attachment entertained for her daughter by the son of an old neighbour of
theirs one Horatio Peltirogus a young gentleman who might have been at that
time four years old or thereabouts and to represent it indeed as almost a
settled thing between the families only waiting for her daughters final
decision to come off with the sanction of the church and to the unspeakable
happiness and content of all parties
It was in the full pride and glory of having sprung this last mine one
night with extraordinary success that Mrs Nickleby took the opportunity of
being left alone with her son before retiring to rest to sound him on the
subject which so occupied her thoughts not doubting that they could have but
one opinion respecting it To this end she approached the question with divers
laudatory and appropriate remarks touching the general amiability of Mr Frank
Cheeryble
»You are quite right mother« said Nicholas »quite right He is a fine
fellow«
»Goodlooking too« said Mrs Nickleby
»Decidedly goodlooking« answered Nicholas
»What may you call his nose now my dear« pursued Mrs Nickleby wishing
to interest Nicholas in the subject to the utmost
»Call it« repeated Nicholas
»Ah« returned his mother »what style of nose What order of architecture
if one may say so I am not very learned in noses Do you call it a Roman or a
Grecian«
»Upon my word mother« said Nicholas laughing »as well as I remember I
should call it a kind of Composite or mixed nose But I have no very strong
recollection on the subject If it will afford you any gratification Ill
observe it more closely and let you know«
»I wish you would my dear« said Mrs Nickleby with an earnest look
»Very well« returned Nicholas »I will«
Nicholas returned to the perusal of the book he had been reading when the
dialogue had gone thus far Mrs Nickleby after stopping a little for
consideration resumed
»He is very much attached to you Nicholas my dear«
Nicholas laughingly said as he closed his book that he was glad to hear
it and observed that his mother seemed deep in their new friends confidence
already
»Hem« said Mrs Nickleby »I dont know about that my dear but I think it
is very necessary that somebody should be in his confidence highly necessary«
Elated by a look of curiosity from her son and the consciousness of
possessing a great secret all to herself Mrs Nickleby went on with great
animation
»I am sure my dear Nicholas how you can have failed to notice it is to
me quite extraordinary though I dont know why I should say that either
because of course as far as it goes and to a certain extent there is a great
deal in this sort of thing especially in this early stage which however clear
it may be to females can scarcely be expected to be so evident to men I dont
say that I have any particular penetration in such matters I may have Those
about me should know best about that and perhaps do know Upon that point I
shall express no opinion it wouldnt become me to do so its quite out of the
question quite«
Nicholas snuffed the candles put his hands in his pockets and leaning
back in his chair assumed a look of patient suffering and melancholy
resignation
»I think it my duty Nicholas my dear« resumed his mother »to tell you
what I know not only because you have a right to know it too and to know
everything that happens in this family but because you have it in your power to
promote and assist the thing very much and there is no doubt that the sooner
one can come to a clear understanding on such subjects it is always better
every way There are a great many things you might do such as taking a walk in
the garden sometimes or sitting up stairs in your own room for a little while
or making believe to fall asleep occasionally or pretending that you
recollected some business and going out for an hour or so and taking Mr Smike
with you These seem very slight things and I dare say you will be amused at my
making them of so much importance at the same time my dear I can assure you
and youll find this out Nicholas for yourself one of these days if you ever
fall in love with anybody as I trust and hope you will provided she is
respectable and well conducted and of course youd never dream of falling in
love with anybody who was not I say I can assure you that a great deal more
depends upon these little things than you would suppose possible If your poor
papa was alive he would tell you how much depended on the parties being left
alone Of course you are not to go out of the room as if you meant it and did
it on purpose but as if it was quite an accident and to come back again in the
same way If you cough in the passage before you open the door or whistle
carelessly or hum a tune or something of that sort to let them know youre
coming its always better because of course though its not only natural but
perfectly correct and proper under the circumstances still it is very confusing
if you interrupt young people when they are when they are sitting on the sofa
and and all that sort of thing which is very nonsensical perhaps but still
they will do it«
The profound astonishment with which her son regarded her during this long
address gradually increasing as it approached its climax in no way discomposed
Mrs Nickleby but rather exalted her opinion of her own cleverness therefore
merely stopping to remark with much complacency that she had fully expected
him to be surprised she entered on a vast quantity of circumstantial evidence
of a particularly incoherent and perplexing kind the upshot of which was to
establish beyond the possibility of doubt that Mr Frank Cheeryble had fallen
desperately in love with Kate
»With whom« cried Nicholas
Mrs Nickleby repeated with Kate
»What Our Kate My sister«
»Lord Nicholas« returned Mrs Nickleby »whose Kate should it be if not
ours or what should I care about it or take any interest in it for if it was
anybody but your sister«
»Dear mother« said Nicholas »surely it cant be«
»Very good my dear« replied Mrs Nickleby with great confidence »Wait
and see«
Nicholas had never until that moment bestowed a thought on the remote
possibility of such an occurrence as that which was now communicated to him
for besides that he had been much from home of late and closely occupied with
other matters his own jealous fears had prompted the suspicion that some secret
interest in Madeline akin to that which he felt himself occasioned those
visits of Frank Cheeryble which had recently become so frequent Even now
although he knew that the observation of an anxious mother was much more likely
to be correct in such a case than his own and although she reminded him of many
little circumstances which taken together were certainly susceptible of the
construction she triumphantly put upon them he was not quite convinced but that
they arose from mere goodnatured thoughtless gallantry which would have
dictated the same conduct towards any other girl who was young and pleasing At
all events he hoped so and therefore tried to believe it
»I am very much disturbed by what you tell me« said Nicholas after a
little reflection »though I yet hope you may be mistaken«
»I dont understand why you should hope so« said Mrs Nickleby »I confess
but you may depend upon it I am not«
»What of Kate« inquired Nicholas
»Why that my dear« returned Mrs Nickleby »is just the point upon which I
am not yet satisfied During this sickness she has been constantly at
Madelines bedside never were two people so fond of each other as they have
grown and to tell you the truth Nicholas I have rather kept her away now and
then because I think its a good plan and urges a young man on He doesnt get
too sure you know«
She said this with such a mingling of high delight and selfcongratulation
that it was inexpressibly painful to Nicholas to dash her hopes but he felt
that there was only one honorable course before him and that he was bound to
take it
»Dear mother« he said kindly »dont you see that if there were really any
serious inclination on the part of Mr Frank towards Kate and we suffered
ourselves for a moment to encourage it we should be acting a most dishonorable
and ungrateful part I ask you if you dont see it but I need not say that I
know you dont or you would have been more strictly on your guard Let me
explain my meaning to you Remember how poor we are«
Mrs Nickleby shook her head and said through her tears that poverty was
not a crime
»No« said Nicholas »and for that reason poverty should engender an honest
pride that it may not lead and tempt us to unworthy actions and that we may
preserve the self-respect which a hewer of wood and drawer of water may
maintain and does better in maintaining than a monarch in preserving his Think
what we owe to these two brothers remember what they have done and what they
do every day for us with a generosity and delicacy for which the devotion of
our whole lives would be a most imperfect and inadequate return What kind of
return would that be which would be comprised in our permitting their nephew
their only relative whom they regard as a son and for whom it would be mere
childishness to suppose they have not formed plans suitably adapted to the
education he has had and the fortune he will inherit in our permitting him to
marry a portionless girl so closely connected with us that the irresistible
inference must be that he was entrapped by a plot that it was a deliberate
scheme and a speculation amongst us three Bring the matter clearly before
yourself mother Now how would you feel if they were married and the
brothers coming here on one of those kind errands which bring them here so
often you had to break out to them the truth Would you be at ease and feel
that you had played an open part«
Poor Mrs Nickleby crying more and more murmured that of course Mr Frank
would ask the consent of his uncles first
»Why to be sure that would place him in a better situation with them«
said Nicholas »but we should still be open to the same suspicions the distance
between us would still be as great the advantages to be gained would still be
as manifest as now We may be reckoning without our host in all this« he added
more cheerfully »and I trust and almost believe we are If it be otherwise I
have that confidence in Kate that I know she will feel as I do and in you
dear mother to be assured that after a little consideration you will do the
same«
After many more representations and entreaties Nicholas obtained a promise
from Mrs Nickleby that she would try all she could to think as he did and
that if Mr Frank persevered in his attentions she would endeavour to discourage
them or at the least would render him no countenance or assistance He
determined to forbear mentioning the subject to Kate until he was quite
convinced that there existed a real necessity for his doing so and he resolved
to assure himself as well as he could by close personal observation of the
exact position of affairs This was a very wise resolution but he was prevented
from putting it in practice by a new source of anxiety and uneasiness
Smike became alarmingly ill so reduced and exhausted that he could scarcely
move from room to room without assistance so worn and emaciated that it was
painful to look upon him Nicholas was warned by the same medical authority to
whom he had at first appealed that the last chance and hope of his life
depended on his being instantly removed from London That part of Devonshire in
which Nicholas had been himself bred was named as the most favourable spot but
this advice was cautiously coupled with the information that whoever accompanied
him thither must be prepared for the worst for every token of rapid
consumption had appeared and he might never return alive
The kind brothers who were acquainted with the poor creatures sad history
despatched old Tim to be present at this consultation That same morning
Nicholas was summoned by brother Charles into his private room and thus
addressed
»My dear sir no time must be lost This lad shall not die if such human
means as we can use can save his life neither shall he die alone and in a
strange place Remove him tomorrow morning see that he has every comfort that
his situation requires and dont leave him dont leave him my dear sir until
you know that there is no longer any immediate danger It would be hard indeed
to part you now No no no Tim shall wait upon you tonight sir Tim shall
wait upon you tonight with a parting word or two Brother Ned my dear fellow
Mr Nickleby waits to shake hands and say good bye Mr Nickleby wont be long
gone this poor chap will soon get better very soon get better and then hell
find out some nice homely country people to leave him with and will go
backwards and forwards sometimes backwards and forwards you know Ned And
theres no cause to be downhearted for hell very soon get better very soon
Wont he wont he Ned«
What Tim Linkinwater said or what he brought with him that night needs not
to be told Next morning Nicholas and his feeble companion began their journey
And who but one and that one he who but for those who crowded round him
then had never met a look of kindness or known a word of pity could tell
what agony of mind what blighted thoughts what unavailing sorrow were
involved in that sad parting
»See« cried Nicholas eagerly as he looked from the coach window »they are
at the corner of the lane still And now theres Kate poor Kate whom you said
you couldnt bear to say good bye to waving her handkerchief Dont go without
one gesture of farewell to Kate«
»I cannot make it« cried his trembling companion falling back in his seat
and covering his eyes »Do you see her now Is she there still«
»Yes yes« said Nicholas earnestly »There She waves her hand again I
have answered it for you and now they are out of sight Do not give way so
bitterly dear friend dont You will meet them all again«
He whom he thus encouraged raised his withered hands and clasped them
fervently together
»In heaven I humbly pray to God in heaven«
It sounded like the prayer of a broken heart
Chapter LVI
Ralph Nickleby Baffled by His Nephew in His Late Design Hatches a Scheme of
Retaliation which Accident Suggests to Him and Takes into His Counsels a Tried
Auxiliary
The course which these adventures shape out for themselves and imperatively
call upon the historian to observe now demands that they should revert to the
point they attained previous to the commencement of the last chapter when Ralph
Nickleby and Arthur Gride were left together in the house where death had so
suddenly reared his dark and heavy banner
With clenched hands and teeth ground together so firm and tight that no
locking of the jaws could have fixed and riveted them more securely Ralph
stood for some minutes in the attitude in which he had last addressed his
nephew breathing heavily but as rigid and motionless in other respects as if
he had been a brazen statue After a time he began by slow degrees as a man
rousing himself from heavy slumber to relax For a moment he shook his clasped
fist towards the door by which Nicholas had disappeared and then thrusting it
into his breast as if to repress by force even this show of passion turned
round and confronted the less hardy usurer who had not yet risen from the
ground
The cowering wretch who still shook in every limb and whose few grey hairs
trembled and quivered on his head with abject dismay tottered to his feet as he
met Ralphs eye and shielding his face with both hands protested while he
crept towards the door that it was no fault of his
»Who said it was man« returned Ralph in a suppressed voice »Who said it
was«
»You looked as if you thought I was to blame« said Gride timidly
»Pshaw« Ralph muttered forcing a laugh »I blame him for not living an
hour longer One hour longer would have been long enough I blame no one else«
»Nnno one else« said Gride
»Not for this mischance« replied Ralph »I have an old score to clear with
that young fellow who has carried off your mistress but that has nothing to do
with his blustering just now for we should soon have been quit of him but for
this cursed accident«
There was something so unnatural in the calmness with which Ralph Nickleby
spoke when coupled with his face there was something so unnatural and ghastly
in the contrast between his harsh slow steady voice only altered by a certain
halting of the breath which made him pause between almost every word like a
drunken man bent upon speaking plainly and his faces evidence of intense and
violent passion and the struggle he made to keep it under that if the dead
body which lay above had stood instead of him before the cowering Gride it
could scarcely have presented a spectacle which would have terrified him more
»The coach« said Ralph after a time during which he had struggled like
some strong man against a fit »We came in a coach Is it waiting«
Gride gladly availed himself of the pretext for going to the window to see
Ralph keeping his face steadily the other way tore at his shirt with the hand
he had thrust into his breast and muttered in a hoarse whisper
»Ten thousand pounds He said ten thousand The precise sum paid in but
yesterday for the two mortgages and which would have gone out again at heavy
interest tomorrow If that house has failed and he the first to bring the
news Is the coach there«
»Yes yes« said Gride startled by the fierce tone of the inquiry »Its
here Dear dear what a fiery man you are«
»Come here« said Ralph beckoning to him »We mustnt make a show of being
disturbed Well go down arm in arm«
»But you pinch me black and blue« urged Gride
Ralph let him go impatiently and descending the stairs with his usual firm
and heavy tread got into the coach Arthur Gride followed After looking
doubtfully at Ralph when the man asked where he was to drive and finding that
he remained silent and expressed no wish upon the subject Arthur mentioned his
own house and thither they proceeded
On their way Ralph sat in the furthest corner with folded arms and uttered
not a word With his chin sunk on his breast and his downcast eyes quite hidden
by the contraction of his knotted brows he might have been asleep for any sign
of consciousness he gave until the coach stopped when he raised his head and
glancing through the window inquired what place that was
»My house« answered the disconsolate Gride affected perhaps by its
loneliness »Oh dear My house«
»True« said Ralph »I have not observed the way we came I should like a
glass of water You have that in the house I suppose«
»You shall have a glass of of anything you like« answered Gride with a
groan »Its no use knocking coachman Ring the bell«
The man rang and rang and rang again then knocked until the street
reechoed with the sounds then listened at the keyhole of the door Nobody
came The house was silent as the grave
»Hows this« said Ralph impatiently
»Peg is so very deaf« answered Gride with a look of anxiety and alarm »Oh
dear Ring again coachman She sees the bell«
Again the man rang and knocked and knocked and rang Some of the neighbours
threw up their windows and called across the street to each other that old
Grides housekeeper must have dropped down dead Others collected round the
coach and gave vent to various surmises some held that she had fallen asleep
some that she had burnt herself to death some that she had got drunk one
very fat man that she had seen something to eat which had frightened her so
much not being used to it that she had fallen into a fit This last suggestion
particularly delighted the bystanders who cheered it uproariously and were
with some difficulty deterred from dropping down the area and breaking open the
kitchen door to ascertain the fact Nor was this all Rumours having gone
abroad that Arthur was to be married that morning very particular inquiries
were made after the bride who was held by the majority to be disguised in the
person of Mr Ralph Nickleby which gave rise to much jocose indignation at the
public appearance of a bride in boots and pantaloons and called forth a great
many hoots and groans At length the two moneylenders obtained shelter in a
house next door and being accommodated with a ladder clambered over the wall
of the back yard which was not a high one and descended in safety on the
other side
»I am almost afraid to go in I declare« said Arthur turning to Ralph when
they were alone »Suppose she should be murdered Lying with her brains knocked
out by a poker eh«
»Suppose she were« said Ralph »I tell you I wish such things were more
common than they are and more easily done You may stare and shiver I do«
He applied himself to a pump in the yard and having taken a deep draught
of water and flung a quantity on his head and face regained his accustomed
manner and led the way into the house Gride following close at his heels
It was the same dark place as ever every room dismal and silent as it was
wont to be and every ghostly article of furniture in its customary place The
iron heart of the grim old clock undisturbed by all the noise without still
beat heavily within its dusty case the tottering presses slunk from the sight
as usual in their melancholy corners the echoes of footsteps returned the same
dreary sound the longlegged spider paused in his nimble run and scared by
the sight of men in that his dull domain hung motionless on the wall
counterfeiting death until they should have passed him by
From cellar to garret went the two usurers opening every creaking door and
looking into every deserted room But no Peg was there At last they sat them
down in the apartment which Arthur Gride usually inhabited to rest after their
search
»The hag is out on some preparation for your wedding festivities I
suppose« said Ralph preparing to depart »See here I destroy the bond we
shall never need it now«
Gride who had been peering narrowly about the room fell at that moment
upon his knees before a large chest and uttered a terrible yell
»How now« said Ralph looking sternly round
»Robbed Robbed« screamed Arthur Gride
»Robbed Of money«
»No no no Worse far worse«
»Of what« demanded Ralph
»Worse than money worse than money« cried the old man casting the papers
out of the chest like some beast tearing up the earth »She had better have
stolen money all my money I havent much She had better have made me a
beggar than have done this«
»Done what« said Ralph »Done what you devils dotard«
Still Gride made no answer but tore and scratched among the papers and
yelled and screeched like a fiend in torment
»There is something missing you say« said Ralph shaking him furiously by
the collar »What is it«
»Papers deeds I am a ruined man Lost lost I am robbed I am ruined She
saw me reading it reading it of late I did very often She watched me saw
me put it in the box that fitted into this the box is gone she has stolen it
Damnation seize her she has robbed me«
»Of what« cried Ralph on whom a sudden light appeared to break for his
eyes flashed and his frame trembled with agitation as he clutched Gride by his
bony arm »Of what«
»She dont know what it is she cant read« shrieked Gride not heeding the
inquiry »Theres only one way in which money can be made of it and that is by
taking it to her Somebody will read it for her and tell her what to do She and
her accomplice will get money for it and be let off besides theyll make a
merit of it say they found it knew it and be evidence against me The only
person it will fall upon is me me me«
»Patience« said Ralph clutching him still tighter and eyeing him with a
sidelong look so fixed and eager as sufficiently to denote that he had some
hidden purpose in what he was about to say »Hear reason She cant have been
gone long Ill call the police Do you but give information of what she has
stolen and theyll lay hands upon her trust me Here Help«
»No no no« screamed the old man putting his hand on Ralphs mouth »I
cant I darent«
»Help help« cried Ralph
»No no no« shrieked the other stamping on the ground with the energy of
a madman »I tell you no I darent I darent«
»Darent make this robbery public« said Ralph
»No« rejoined Gride wringing his hands »Hush Hush Not a word of this
not a word must be said I am undone Whichever way I turn I am undone I am
betrayed I shall be given up I shall die in Newgate«
With frantic exclamations such as these and with many others in which fear
grief and rage were strangely blended the panicstricken wretch gradually
subdued his first loud outcry until it had softened down into a low despairing
moan chequered now and then by a howl as going over such papers as were left
in the chest he discovered some new loss With very little excuse for departing
so abruptly Ralph left him and greatly disappointing the loiterers outside
the house by telling them there was nothing the matter got into the coach and
was driven to his own home
A letter lay on his table He let it lie there for some time as if he had
not the courage to open it but at length did so and turned deadly pale
»The worst has happened« he said »the house has failed I see The rumour
was abroad in the City last night and reached the ears of those merchants
Well well«
He strode violently up and down the room and stopped again
»Ten thousand pounds And only lying there for a day for one day How many
anxious years how many pinching days and sleepless nights before I scraped
together that ten thousand pounds Ten thousand pounds How many proud painted
dames would have fawned and smiled and how many spendthrift blockheads done me
lipservice to my face and cursed me in their hearts while I turned that ten
thousand pounds into twenty While I ground and pinched and used these needy
borrowers for my pleasure and profit what smoothtongued speeches and
courteous looks and civil letters they would have given me The cant of the
lying world is that men like me compass our riches by dissimulation and
treachery by fawning cringing and stooping Why how many lies what mean
evasions what humbled behaviour from upstarts who but for my money would
spurn me aside as they do their betters every day would that ten thousand
pounds have brought me in Grant that I had doubled it made cent per cent
for every sovereign told another there would not be one piece of money in all
the heap which wouldnt represent ten thousand mean and paltry lies told not
by the moneylender oh no but by the moneyborrowers your liberal thoughtless
generous dashing folks who wouldnt be so mean as save a sixpence for the
world«
Striving as it would seem to lose part of the bitterness of his regrets in
the bitterness of these other thoughts Ralph continued to pace the room There
was less and less of resolution in his manner as his mind gradually reverted to
his loss at length dropping into his elbowchair and grasping its sides so
firmly that they creaked again he said
»The time has been when nothing could have moved me like the loss of this
great sum Nothing For births deaths marriages and all the events which are
of interest to most men have unless they are connected with gain or loss of
money no interest for me But now I swear I mix up with the loss his triumph
in telling it If he had brought it about I almost feel as if he had I
couldnt hate him more Let me but retaliate upon him by degrees however slow
let me but begin to get the better of him let me but turn the scale and I
can bear it«
His meditations were long and deep They terminated in his despatching a
letter by Newman addressed to Mr Squeers at the Saracens Head with
instructions to inquire whether he had arrived in town and if so to wait an
answer Newman brought back the information that Mr Squeers had come by mail
that morning and had received the letter in bed but that he sent his duty and
word that he would get up and wait upon Mr Nickleby directly
The interval between the delivery of this message and the arrival of Mr
Squeers was very short but before he came Ralph had suppressed every sign of
emotion and once more regained the hard immovable inflexible manner which was
habitual to him and to which perhaps was ascribable no small part of the
influence which over many men of no very strong prejudices on the score of
morality he could exert almost at will
»Well Mr Squeers« he said welcoming that worthy with his accustomed
smile of which a sharp look and a thoughtful frown were part and parcel »how
do you do«
»Why sir« said Mr Squeers »Im pretty well Sos the family and sos
the boys except for a sort of rash as is a running through the school and
rather puts em off their feed But its a ill wind as blows no good to nobody
thats what I always say when them lads has a wisitation A wisitation sir is
the lot of mortality Mortality itself sir is a wisitation The world is chock
full of wisitations and if a boy repines at a wisitation and makes you
uncomfortable with his noise he must have his head punched Thats going
according to the scripter that is«
»Mr Squeers« said Ralph drily
»Sir«
»Well avoid these precious morsels of morality if you please and talk of
business«
»With all my heart sir« rejoined Squeers »and first let me say «
»First let me say if you please Noggs«
Newman presented himself when the summons had been twice or thrice repeated
and asked if his master called
»I did Go to your dinner And go at once Do you hear«
»It ant time« said Newman doggedly
»My time is yours and I say it is« returned Ralph
»You alter it every day« said Newman »It isnt fair«
»You dont keep many cooks and can easily apologize to them for the
trouble« retorted Ralph »Begone sir«
Ralph not only issued this order in his most peremptory manner but under
pretence of fetching some papers from the little office saw it obeyed and
when Newman had left the house chained the door to prevent the possibility of
his returning secretly by means of his latch key
»I have reason to suspect that fellow« said Ralph when he returned to his
own office »Therefore until I have thought of the shortest and least
troublesome way of ruining him I hold it best to keep him at a distance«
»It wouldnt take much to ruin him I should think« said Squeers with a
grin
»Perhaps not« answered Ralph »Nor to ruin a great many people whom I know
You were going to say «
Ralphs summary and matterofcourse way of holding up this example and
throwing out the hint that followed it had evidently an effect as doubtless it
was designed to have upon Mr Squeers who said after a little hesitation and
in a much more subdued tone
»Why what I was a going to say sir is that this here business regarding
of that ungrateful and hardhearted chap Snawley senior puts me out of my way
and occasions a inconveniency quite unparalleled besides as I may say making
for whole weeks together Mrs Squeers a perfect widder Its a pleasure to me
to act with you of course«
»Of course« said Ralph drily
»Yes I say of course« resumed Mr Squeers rubbing his knees »but at the
same time when one comes as I do now better than two hundred and fifty mile
to take a afferdavid it does put a man out a good deal letting alone the
risk«
»And where may the risk be Mr Squeers« said Ralph
»I said letting alone the risk« replied Squeers evasively
»And I said where was the risk«
»I wasnt complaining you know Mr Nickleby« pleaded Squeers »Upon my
word I never see such a «
»I ask you where is the risk« repeated Ralph emphatically
»Where the risk« returned Squeers rubbing his knees still harder »Why it
ant necessary to mention Certain subjects is best awoided Oh you know what
risk I mean«
»How often have I told you« said Ralph »and how often am I to tell you
that you run no risk What have you sworn or what are you asked to swear but
that at such and such a time a boy was left with you by the name of Smike that
he was at your school for a given number of years was lost under such and such
circumstances is now found and has been identified by you in such and such
keeping This is all true is it not«
»Yes« replied Squeers »thats all true«
»Well then« said Ralph »what risk do you run Who swears to a lie but
Snawley a man whom I have paid much less than I have you«
»He certainly did it cheap did Snawley« observed Squeers
»He did it cheap« retorted Ralph testily »yes and he did it well and
carries it off with a hypocritical face and a sanctified air but you Risk
What do you mean by risk The certificates are all genuine Snawley had another
son he has been married twice his first wife is dead none but her ghost could
tell that she didnt write that letter none but Snawley himself can tell that
this is not his son and that his son is food for worms The only perjury is
Snawleys and I fancy he is pretty well used to it Wheres your risk«
»Why you know« said Squeers fidgeting in his chair »if you come to that
I might say wheres yours«
»You might say wheres mine« returned Ralph »you may say wheres mine I
dont appear in the business neither do you All Snawleys interest is to stick
well to the story he has told all his risk is to depart from it in the least
Talk of your risk in the conspiracy«
»I say« remonstrated Squeers looking uneasily round »dont call it that
Just as a favour dont«
»Call it what you like« said Ralph irritably »but attend to me This tale
was originally fabricated as a means of annoyance against one who hurt your
trade and half cudgelled you to death and to enable you to obtain repossession
of a halfdead drudge whom you wished to regain because while you wreaked your
vengeance on him for his share in the business you knew that the knowledge that
he was again in your power would be the best punishment you could inflict upon
your enemy Is that so Mr Squeers«
»Why sir« returned Squeers almost overpowered by the determination which
Ralph displayed to make everything tell against him and by his stern unyielding
manner »in a measure it was«
»What does that mean« said Ralph
»Why in a measure means« returned Squeers »as it may be that it wasnt
all on my account because you had some old grudge to satisfy too«
»If I had not had« said Ralph in no way abashed by the reminder »do you
think I should have helped you«
»Why no I dont suppose you would« Squeers replied »I only wanted that
point to be all square and straight between us«
»How can it ever be otherwise« retorted Ralph »Except that the account is
against me for I spend money to gratify my hatred and you pocket it and
gratify yours at the same time You are at least as avaricious as you are
revengeful So am I Which is best off You who win money and revenge at the
same time and by the same process and who are at all events sure of money if
not of revenge or I who am only sure of spending money in any case and can
but win bare revenge at last«
As Mr Squeers could only answer this proposition by shrugs and smiles
Ralph bade him be silent and thankful that he was so well off and then fixing
his eyes steadily upon him proceeded to say
First that Nicholas had thwarted him in a plan he had formed for the
disposal in marriage of a certain young lady and had in the confusion
attendant on her fathers sudden death secured that lady himself and borne her
off in triumph
Secondly that by some will or settlement certainly by some instrument in
writing which must contain the young ladys name and could be therefore
easily selected from others if access to the place where it was deposited were
once secured she was entitled to property which if the existence of this deed
ever became known to her would make her husband and Ralph represented that
Nicholas was certain to marry her a rich and prosperous man and a most
formidable enemy
Thirdly that this deed had been with others stolen from one who had
himself obtained or concealed it fraudulently and who feared to take any steps
for its recovery and that he Ralph knew the thief
To all this Mr Squeers listened with greedy ears that devoured every
syllable and with his one eye and his mouth wide open marvelling for what
special reason he was honored with so much of Ralphs confidence and to what it
all tended
»Now« said Ralph leaning forward and placing his hand on Squeerss arm
»hear the design which I have conceived and which I must I say must if I
can ripen it cause to be carried into execution No advantage can be reaped
from this deed whatever it is save by the girl herself or her husband and
the possession of this deed by one or other of them is indispensable to any
advantage being gained That I have discovered beyond the possibility of doubt
I want that deed brought here that I may give the man who brings it fifty
pounds in gold and burn it to ashes before his face«
Mr Squeers after following with his eye the action of Ralphs hand towards
the fireplace as if he were at that moment consuming the paper drew a long
breath and said
»Yes but whos to bring it«
»Nobody perhaps for much is to be done before it can be got at« said
Ralph »But if anybody you«
Mr Squeerss first tokens of consternation and his flat relinquishment of
the task would have staggered most men if they had not immediately occasioned
an utter abandonment of the proposition. On Ralph they produced not the
slightest effect Resuming when the schoolmaster had quite talked himself out
of breath as coolly as if he had never been interrupted Ralph proceeded to
expatiate on such features of the case as he deemed it most advisable to lay the
greatest stress on
These were the age decrepitude and weakness of Mrs Sliderskew the great
improbability of her having any accomplice or even acquaintance taking into
account her secluded habits and her long residence in such a house as Grides
the strong reason there was to suppose that the robbery was not the result of a
concerted plan otherwise she would have watched an opportunity of carrying off
a sum of money the difficulty she would be placed in when she began to think on
what she had done and found herself incumbered with documents of whose nature
she was utterly ignorant the comparative ease with which somebody with a full
knowledge of her position obtaining access to her and working on her fears if
necessary might worm himself into her confidence and obtain under one
pretence or another free possession of the deed To these were added such
considerations as the constant residence of Mr Squeers at a long distance from
London which rendered his association with Mrs Sliderskew a mere masquerading
frolic in which nobody was likely to recognise him either at the time or
afterwards the impossibility of Ralphs undertaking the task himself he being
already known to her by sight various comments on the uncommon tact and
experience of Mr Squeers which would make his overreaching one old woman a
mere matter of childs play and amusement In addition to these influences and
persuasions Ralph drew with his utmost skill and power a vivid picture of the
defeat which Nicholas would sustain should they succeed in linking himself to
a beggar where he expected to wed an heiress glanced at the immeasurable
importance it must be to a man situated as Squeers to preserve such a friend as
himself dwelt on a long train of benefits conferred since their first
acquaintance when he had reported favourably of his treatment of a sickly boy
who had died under his hands and whose death was very convenient to Ralph and
his clients but this he did not say and finally hinted that the fifty pounds
might be increased to seventyfive or in the event of very great success even
to a hundred
These arguments at length concluded Mr Squeers crossed his legs uncrossed
them scratched his head rubbed his eye examined the palms of his hands bit
his nails and after exhibiting many other signs of restlessness and indecision
asked »whether one hundred pound was the highest that Mr Nickleby could go«
Being answered in the affirmative he became restless again and after some
thought and an unsuccessful inquiry »whether he couldnt go another fifty« said
he supposed he must try and do the most he could for a friend which was always
his maxim and therefore he undertook the job
»But how are you to get at the woman« he said »thats what it is as
puzzles me«
»I may not get at her at all« replied Ralph »but Ill try I have hunted
people in this city before now who have been better hid than she and I know
quarters in which a guinea or two carefully spent will often solve darker
riddles than this Ay and keep them close too if need be I hear my man
ringing at the door We may as well part You had better not come to and fro
but wait till you hear from me«
»Good« returned Squeers »I say If you shouldnt find her out youll pay
expenses at the Saracen and something for loss of time«
»Well« said Ralph testily »yes You have nothing more to say«
Squeers shaking his head Ralph accompanied him to the streetdoor and
audibly wondering for the edification of Newman why it was fastened as if it
were night let him in and Squeers out and returned to his own room
»Now« he muttered »Come what come may for the present I am firm and
unshaken Let me but retrieve this one small portion of my loss and disgrace
let me but defeat him in this one hope dear to his heart as I know it must be
let me but do this and it shall be the first link in such a chain which I will
wind about him as never man forged yet«
Chapter LVII
How Ralph Nicklebys Auxiliary Went about His Work and How He Prospered with
It
It was a dark wet gloomy night in autumn when in an upper room of a mean
house situated in an obscure street or rather court near Lambeth there sat all
alone a oneeyed man grotesquely habited either for lack of better garments or
for purposes of disguise in a loose greatcoat with arms half as long again as
his own and a capacity of breadth and length which would have admitted of his
winding himself in it head and all with the utmost ease and without any risk
of straining the old and greasy material of which it was composed
So attired and in a place so far removed from his usual haunts and
occupations and so very poor and wretched in its character perhaps Mrs
Squeers herself would have had some difficulty in recognising her lord
quickened though her natural sagacity doubtless would have been by the
affectionate yearnings and impulses of a tender wife But Mrs Squeerss lord it
was And in a tolerably disconsolate mood Mrs Squeerss lord appeared to be
as helping himself from a black bottle which stood on the table beside him he
cast round the chamber a look in which very slight regard for the objects within
view was plainly mingled with some regretful and impatient recollection of
distant scenes and persons
There were no particular attractions either in the room over which the
glance of Mr Squeers so discontentedly wandered or in the narrow street into
which it might have penetrated if he had thought fit to approach the window
The atticchamber in which he sat was bare and mean the bedstead and such few
other articles of necessary furniture as it contained were of the commonest
description in a most crazy state and of a most uninviting appearance The
street was muddy dirty and deserted Having but one outlet it was traversed
by few save the inhabitants at any time and the night being one of those on
which most people are glad to be within doors it now presented no other signs
of life than the dull glimmering of poor candles from the dirty windows and few
sounds but the pattering of the rain and occasionally the heavy closing of some
creaking door
Mr Squeers continued to look disconsolately about him and to listen to
these noises in profound silence broken only by the rustling of his large coat
as he now and then moved his arm to raise his glass to his lips Mr Squeers
continued to do this for some time until the increasing gloom warned him to
snuff the candle Seeming to be slightly roused by this exertion he raised his
eyes to the ceiling and fixing them upon some uncouth and fantastic figures
traced upon it by the wet and damp which had penetrated through the roof broke
into the following soliloquy
»Well this is a pretty go is this here An uncommon pretty go Here have I
been a matter of how many weeks hard upon six afollering up this here
blessed old dowager petty larcenerer« Mr Squeers delivered himself of this
epithet with great difficulty and effort »and Dotheboys Hall arunning itself
regularly to seed the while Thats the worst of ever being in with a owdacious
chap like that old Nickleby You never know when hes done with you and if
youre in for a penny youre in for a pound«
This remark perhaps reminded Mr Squeers that he was in for a hundred
pound at any rate His countenance relaxed and he raised his glass to his mouth
with an air of greater enjoyment of its contents than he had before evinced
»I never see« soliloquised Mr Squeers in continuation »I never see nor
come across such a file as that old Nickleby Never Hes out of everybodys
depth he is Hes what you may call a rasper is Nickleby To see how sly and
cunning he grubbed on day after day aworming and plodding and tracing and
turning and twining of hisself about till he found out where this precious Mrs
Peg was hid and cleared the ground for me to work upon Creeping and crawling
and gliding like a ugly old brighteyed stagnationblooded adder Ah Hed have
made a good un in our line but it would have been too limited for him his
genius would have busted all bonds and coming over every obstacle broke down
all before it till it erected itself into a monneyment of Well Ill think
of the rest and say it when conwenient«
Making a halt in his reflections at this place Mr Squeers again put his
glass to his lips and drawing a dirty letter from his pocket proceeded to con
over its contents with the air of a man who had read it very often and who now
refreshed his memory rather in the absence of better amusement than for any
specific information
»The pigs is well« said Mr Squeers »the cows is well and the boys is
bobbish Young Sprouter has been awinking has he Ill wink him when I get
back Cobbey would persist in sniffing while he was aeating his dinner and
said that the beef was so strong it made him Very good Cobbey well see if
we cant make you sniff a little without beef Pitcher was took with another
fever of course he was and being fetched by his friends died the day after
he got home of course he did and out of aggravation its part of a
deeplaid system There ant another chap in the school but that boy as would
have died exactly at the end of the quarter taking it out of me to the very
last and then carrying his spite to the utmost extremity The juniorest Palmer
said he wished he was in Heaven I really dont know I do not know whats to be
done with that young fellow hes always awishing something horrid He said
once he wished he was a donkey because then he wouldnt have a father as
didnt love him Pretty wicious that for a child of six«
Mr Squeers was so much moved by the contemplation of this hardened nature
in one so young that he angrily put up the letter and sought in a new train
of ideas, a subject of consolation
»Its a long time to have been alingering in London« he said »and this is
a precious hole to come and live in even if it has been only for a week or so
Still one hundred pound is five boys and five boys takes a whole year to pay
one hundred pound and theres their keep to be substracted Theres nothing
lost neither by ones being here because the boys money comes in just the
same as if I was at home and Mrs Squeers she keeps them in order Therell be
some lost time to make up of course Therell be an arrear of flogging as ll
have to be gone through still a couple of days makes that all right and one
dont mind a little extra work for one hundred pound Its pretty nigh the time
to wait upon the old woman From what she said last night I suspect that if Im
to succeed at all I shall succeed tonight so Ill have half a glass more to
wish myself success and put myself in spirits Mrs Squeers my dear your
health«
Leering with his one eye as if the lady to whom he drank had been actually
present Mr Squeers in his enthusiasm no doubt poured out a full glass
and emptied it and as the liquor was raw spirits and he had applied himself to
the same bottle more than once already it is not surprising that he found
himself by this time in an extremely cheerful state and quite enough excited
for his purpose
What this purpose was soon appeared After a few turns about the room to
steady himself he took the bottle under his arm and the glass in his hand and
blowing out the candle as if he purposed being gone some time stole out upon
the staircase and creeping softly to a door opposite his own tapped gently at
it
»But whats the use of tapping« he said »Shell never hear I suppose she
isnt doing anything very particular and if she is it dont much matter that
I see«
With this brief preface Mr Squeers applied his hand to the latch of the
door and thrusting his head into a garret far more deplorable than that he had
just left and seeing that there was nobody there but an old woman who was
bending over a wretched fire for although the weather was still warm the
evening was chilly walked in and tapped her on the shoulder
»Well my Slider« said Mr Squeers jocularly
»Is that you« inquired Peg
»Ah Its me and mes the first person singular nominative case agreeing
with the verb its and governed by Squeers understood as a acorn a hour but
when the h is sounded the a only is to be used as a and, a art a ighway«
replied Mr Squeers quoting at random from the grammar »At least if it isnt
you dont know any better And if it is Ive done it accidentally«
Delivering this reply in his accustomed tone of voice in which of course it
was inaudible to Peg Mr Squeers drew a stool to the fire and placing himself
over against her and the bottle and glass on the floor between them roared out
again very loud
»Well my Slider«
»I hear you« said Peg receiving him very graciously
»Ive come according to promise« roared Squeers
»So they used to say in that part of the country I come from« observed Peg
complacently »but I think oils better«
»Better than what« roared Squeers adding some rather strong language in an
undertone
»No« said Peg »of course not«
»I never saw such a monster as you are« muttered Squeers looking as
amiable as he possibly could the while for Pegs eye was upon him and she was
chuckling fearfully as though in delight at having made a choice repartee »Do
you see this This is a bottle«
»I see it« answered Peg
»Well and do you see this« bawled Squeers »This is a glass« Peg saw that
too
»See here then« said Squeers accompanying his remarks with appropriate
action »I fill the glass from the bottle and I say your health Slider and I
empty it then I rinse it genteelly with a little drop which Im forced to
throw into the fire Hallo we shall have the chimbley alight next fill it
again and hand it over to you«
»Your health« said Peg
»She understands that anyways« muttered Squeers watching Mrs Sliderskew
as she dispatched her portion and choked and gasped in a most awful manner
after so doing »now then lets have a talk Hows the rheumatics«
Mrs Sliderskew with much blinking and chuckling and with looks expressive
of her strong admiration of Mr Squeers his person manners and conversation
replied that the rheumatics were better
»Whats the reason« said Mr Squeers deriving fresh facetiousness from the
bottle »whats the reason of rheumatics What do they mean What do people have
em for eh«
Mrs Sliderskew didnt know but suggested that it was possibly because they
couldnt help it
»Measles rheumatics hoopingcough fevers agers and lumbagers« said Mr
Squeers »is all philosophy together thats what it is The heavenly bodies is
philosophy and the earthly bodies is philosophy If theres a screw loose in a
heavenly body thats philosophy and if theres a screw loose in a earthly
body thats philosophy too or it may be that sometimes theres a little
metaphysics in it but thats not often Philosophys the chap for me If a
parent asks a question in the classical commercial or mathematical line says
I gravely Why sir in the first place are you a philosopher No Mr
Squeers he says I ant Then sir says I I am sorry for you for I shant be
able to explain it Naturally the parent goes away and wishes he was a
philosopher and equally naturally thinks Im one«
Saying this and a great deal more with tipsy profundity and a seriocomic
air and keeping his eye all the time on Mrs Sliderskew who was unable to hear
one word Mr Squeers concluded by helping himself and passing the bottle To
which Peg did becoming reverence
»Thats the time of day« said Mr Squeers »You look twenty pound ten
better than you did«
Again Mrs Sliderskew chuckled but modesty forbade her assenting verbally
to the compliment
»Twenty pound ten better« repeated Mr Squeers »than you did that day when
I first introduced myself Dont you know«
»Ah« said Peg shaking her head »but you frightened me that day«
»Did I« said Squeers »well it was rather a startling thing for a stranger
to come and recommend himself by saying that he knew all about you and what
your name was and why you were living so quiet here and what you had boned
and who you boned it from wasnt it«
Peg nodded her head in strong assent
»But I know everything that happens in that way you see« continued
Squeers »Nothing takes place, of that kind that I ant up to entirely Im a
sort of a lawyer Slider of firstrate standing and understanding Im the
intimate friend and confidential adwiser of pretty nigh every man woman and
child that gets themselves into difficulties by being too nimble with their
fingers Im «
Mr Squeerss catalogue of his own merits and accomplishments which was
partly the result of a concerted plan between himself and Ralph Nickleby and
flowed in part from the black bottle was here interrupted by Mrs Sliderskew
»Ha ha ha« she cried folding her arms and wagging her head »and so he
wasnt married after all wasnt he Not married after all«
»No« replied Squeers »that he wasnt«
»And a young lover come and carried off the bride eh« said Peg
»From under his very nose« replied Squeers »and Im told the young chap
cut up rough besides and broke the winders and forced him to swaller his
wedding favour Which nearly choked him«
»Tell me all about it again« cried Peg with a malicious relish of her old
masters defeat which made her natural hideousness something quite fearful
»lets hear it all again beginning at the beginning now as if youd never told
me Lets have it every word now now beginning at the very first you
know when he went to the house that morning«
Mr Squeers plying Mrs Sliderskew freely with the liquor and sustaining
himself under the exertion of speaking so loud by frequent applications to it
himself complied with this request by describing the discomfiture of Arthur
Gride with such improvements on the truth as happened to occur to him and the
ingenious invention and application of which had been very instrumental in
recommending him to her notice in the beginning of their acquaintance Mrs
Sliderskew was in an ecstasy of delight rolling her head about drawing up her
skinny shoulders and wrinkling her cadaverous face into so many and such
complicated forms of ugliness as awakened the unbounded astonishment and
disgust even of Mr Squeers
»Hes a treacherous old goat« said Peg »and cozened me with cunning tricks
and lying promises but never mind Im even with him Im even with him«
»More than even Slider« returned Squeers »youd have been even with him
if hed got married but with the disappointment besides youre a long way
ahead Out of sight Slider quite out of sight And that reminds me« he
added handing her the glass »if you want me to give you my opinion of them
deeds and tell you what youd better keep and what youd better burn why
nows your time Slider«
»There ant no hurry for that« said Peg with several knowing looks and
winks
»Oh very well« observed Squeers »it dont matter to me You asked me you
know I shouldnt charge you nothing being a friend Youre the best judge of
course But youre a bold woman Slider«
»How do you mean bold« said Peg
»Why I only mean that if it was me I wouldnt keep papers as might hang
me littering about when they might be turned into money them as wasnt useful
made away with and them as was laid by somewheres safe thats all« returned
Squeers »but everybodys the best judge of their own affairs All I say is
Slider I wouldnt do it«
»Come« said Peg »then you shall see em«
»I dont want to see em« replied Squeers affecting to be out of humour
»dont talk as if it was a treat Show em to somebody else and take their
advice«
Mr Squeers would very likely have carried on the farce of being offended
a little longer if Mrs Sliderskew in her anxiety to restore herself to her
former high position in his good graces had not become so extremely affectionate
that he stood at some risk of being smothered by her caresses Repressing with
as good a grace as possible these little familiarities for which there is
reason to believe the black bottle was at least as much to blame as any
constitutional infirmity on the part of Mrs Sliderskew he protested that he
had only been joking and in proof of his unimpaired good humour that he was
ready to examine the deeds at once if by so doing he could afford any
satisfaction or relief of mind to his fair friend
»And now youre up my Slider« bawled Squeers as she rose to fetch them
»bolt the door«
Peg trotted to the door and after fumbling at the bolt crept to the other
end of the room and from beneath the coals which filled the bottom of the
cupboard drew forth a small deal box Having placed this on the floor at
Squeerss feet she brought from under the pillow of her bed a small key with
which she signed to that gentleman to open it Mr Squeers who had eagerly
followed her every motion lost no time in obeying this hint and throwing back
the lid gazed with rapture on the documents within
»Now you see« said Peg kneeling down on the floor beside him and staying
his impatient hand »whats of no use well burn what we can get any money by
well keep and if theres any we could get him into trouble by and fret and
waste away his heart to shreds with those well take particular care of for
thats what I want to do and what I hoped to do when I left him«
»I thought« said Squeers »that you didnt bear him any particular
goodwill But I say Why didnt you take some money besides«
»Some what« asked Peg
»Some money« roared Squeers »I do believe the woman hears me and wants to
make me break a wessel so that she may have the pleasure of nursing me Some
money Slider money«
»Why what a man you are to ask« cried Peg with some contempt »If I had
taken money from Arthur Gride hed have scoured the whole earth to find me
aye and hed have smelt it out and raked it up somehow if I had buried it at
the bottom of the deepest well in England No no I knew better than that I
took what I thought his secrets were hid in Them he couldnt afford to make
public let em be worth ever so much money Hes an old dog a sly old cunning
thankless dog He first starved and then tricked me and if I could Id kill
him«
»All right and very laudable« said Squeers »But first and foremost
Slider burn the box You should never keep things as may lead to discovery
Always mind that So while you pull it to pieces which you can easily do for
its very old and rickety and burn it in little bits Ill look over the papers
and tell you what they are«
Peg expressing her acquiescence in this arrangement Mr Squeers turned the
box bottom upward and tumbling the contents upon the floor handed it to her
the destruction of the box being an extemporary device for engaging her
attention in case it should prove desirable to distract it from his own
proceedings
»There« said Squeers »you poke the pieces between the bars and make up a
good fire and Ill read the while Let me see let me see« And taking the
candle down beside him Mr Squeers with great eagerness and a cunning grin
overspreading his face entered upon his task of examination
If the old woman had not been very deaf she must have heard when she last
went to the door the breathing of two persons close behind it and if those two
persons had been unacquainted with her infirmity they must probably have chosen
that moment either for presenting themselves or taking to flight But knowing
with whom they had to deal they remained quite still and now not only
appeared unobserved at the door which was not bolted for the bolt had no hasp
but warily and with noiseless footsteps advanced into the room
As they stole farther and farther in by slight and scarcely perceptible
degrees and with such caution that they scarcely seemed to breathe the old hag
and Squeers little dreaming of any such invasion and utterly unconscious of
there being any soul near but themselves were busily occupied with their tasks
The old woman with her wrinkled face close to the bars of the stove puffing at
the dull embers which had not yet caught the wood Squeers stooping down to the
candle which brought out the full ugliness of his face as the light of the
fire did that of his companion both intently engaged and wearing faces of
exultation which contrasted strongly with the anxious looks of those behind who
took advantage of the slightest sound to cover their advance and almost before
they had moved an inch and all was silent stopped again This with the large
bare room damp walls and flickering doubtful light combined to form a scene
which the most careless and indifferent spectator could any such have been
present could scarcely have failed to derive some interest from and would not
readily have forgotten
Of the stealthy comers Frank Cheeryble was one and Newman Noggs the other
Newman had caught up by the rusty nozzle an old pair of bellows which were
just undergoing a flourish in the air preparatory to a descent upon the head of
Mr Squeers when Frank with an earnest gesture stayed his arm and taking
another step in advance came so close behind the schoolmaster that by leaning
slightly forward he could plainly distinguish the writing which he held up to
his eye
Mr Squeers not being remarkably erudite appeared to be considerably
puzzled by this first prize which was in an engrossing hand and not very
legible except to a practised eye Having tried it by reading from left to
right and from right to left and finding it equally clear both ways he turned
it upside down with no better success
»Ha ha ha« chuckled Peg who on her knees before the fire was feeding
it with fragments of the box and grinning in most devilish exultation »Whats
that writing about eh«
»Nothing particular« replied Squeers tossing it towards her »Its only an
old lease as well as I can make out Throw it in the fire«
Mrs Sliderskew complied and inquired what the next one was
»This« said Squeers »is a bundle of overdue acceptances and renewed bills
of six or eight young gentlemen but theyre all M Ps so its of no use to
anybody Throw it in the fire«
Peg did as she was bidden and waited for the next
»This« said Squeers »seems to be some deed of sale of the right of
presentation to the rectory of Purechurch in the valley of Cashup Take care of
that Slider literally for Gods sake Itll fetch its price at the Auction
Mart«
»Whats the next« inquired Peg
»Why this« said Squeers »seems from the two letters thats with it to
be a bond from a curate down in the country to pay halfayears wages of forty
pound for borrowing twenty Take care of that for if he dont pay it his
bishop will very soon be down upon him We know what the camel and the needles
eye means no man as cant live upon his income whatever it is must expect to
go to heaven at any price Its very odd I dont see anything like it yet«
»Whats the matter« said Peg
»Nothing« replied Squeers »only Im looking for «
Newman raised the bellows again Once again Frank by a rapid motion of his
arm unaccompanied by any noise checked him in his purpose
»Here you are« said Squeers »bonds take care of them Warrant of
attorney take care of that Two cognovits take care of them Lease and
release burn that Ah Madeline Bray come of age or marry the said
Madeline here burn that«
Eagerly throwing towards the old woman a parchment that he caught up for the
purpose Squeers as she turned her head thrust into the breast of his large
coat the deed in which these words had caught his eye and burst into a shout of
triumph
»Ive got it« said Squeers »Ive got it Hurrah The plan was a good one
though the chance was desperate and the days our own at last«
Peg demanded what he laughed at but no answer was returned Newmans arm
could no longer be restrained The bellows descending heavily and with unerring
aim on the very centre of Mr Squeerss head felled him to the floor and
stretched him on it flat and senseless
Chapter LVIII
In Which One Scene of This History Is Closed
Dividing the distance into two days journey in order that his charge might
sustain the less exhaustion and fatigue from travelling so far Nicholas at the
end of the second day from their leaving home found himself within a very few
miles of the spot where the happiest years of his life had been passed and
which while it filled his mind with pleasant and peaceful thoughts brought
back many painful and vivid recollections of the circumstances in which he and
his had wandered forth from their old home cast upon the rough world and the
mercy of strangers
It needed no such reflections as those which the memory of old days and
wanderings among scenes where our childhood has been passed usually awaken in
the most insensible minds to soften the heart of Nicholas and render him more
than usually mindful of his drooping friend By night and day at all times and
seasons always watchful attentive and solicitous and never varying in the
discharge of his selfimposed duty to one so friendless and helpless as he whose
sands of life were now fast running out and dwindling rapidly away he was ever
at his side He never left him To encourage and animate him administer to his
wants support and cheer him to the utmost of his power was now his constant
and unceasing occupation
They procured a humble lodging in a small farmhouse surrounded by meadows
where Nicholas had often revelled when a child with a troop of merry
schoolfellows and here they took up their rest
At first Smike was strong enough to walk about for short distances at a
time with no other support or aid than that which Nicholas could afford him At
this time nothing appeared to interest him so much as visiting those places
which had been most familiar to his friend in bygone days Yielding to this
fancy and pleased to find that its indulgence beguiled the sick boy of many
tedious hours and never failed to afford him matter for thought and
conversation afterwards Nicholas made such spots the scenes of their daily
rambles driving him from place to place in a little ponychair and supporting
him on his arm while they walked slowly among these old haunts or lingered in
the sunlight to take long parting looks of those which were most quiet and
beautiful
It was on such occasions as these that Nicholas yielding almost
unconsciously to the interest of old associations would point out some tree
that he had climbed a hundred times to peep at the young birds in their nest
and the branch from which he used to shout to little Kate who stood below
terrified at the height he had gained and yet urging him higher still by the
intensity of her admiration There was the old house too which they would pass
every day looking up at the tiny window through which the sun used to stream in
and wake him on the summer mornings they were all summer mornings then and
climbing up the gardenwall and looking over Nicholas could see the very
rosebush which had come a present to Kate from some little lover and she had
planted with her own hands There were the hedgerows where the brother and
sister had often gathered wild flowers together and the green fields and shady
paths where they had often strayed There was not a lane or brook or copse or
cottage near with which some childish event was not entwined and back it came
upon the mind as events of childhood do nothing in itself: perhaps a word a
laugh a look some slight distress a passing thought or fear and yet more
strongly and distinctly marked and better remembered than the hardest trials
or severest sorrows of a year ago
One of these expeditions led them through the churchyard where was his
fathers grave »Even here« said Nicholas softly »we used to loiter before we
knew what death was and when we little thought whose ashes would rest beneath
and wondering at the silence sit down to rest and speak below our breath
Once Kate was lost and after an hour of fruitless search they found her fast
asleep under that tree which shades my fathers grave He was very fond of her
and said when he took her up in his arms still sleeping that whenever he died
he would wish to be buried where his dear little child had laid her head You
see his wish was not forgotten«
Nothing more passed at the time but that night as Nicholas sat beside his
bed Smike started from what had seemed to be a slumber and laying his hand in
his prayed as the tears coursed down his face that he would make him one
solemn promise
»What is that« said Nicholas kindly »If I can redeem it or hope to do
so you know I will«
»I am sure you will« was the reply »Promise me that when I die I shall be
buried near as near as they can make my grave to the tree we saw today«
Nicholas gave the promise he had few words to give it in but they were
solemn and earnest His poor friend kept his hand in his and turned as if to
sleep But there were stifled sobs and the hand was pressed more than once or
twice or thrice before he sank to rest and slowly loosed his hold
In a fortnights time he became too ill to move about Once or twice
Nicholas drove him out propped up with pillows but the motion of the chaise
was painful to him and brought on fits of fainting which in his weakened
state were dangerous There was an old couch in the house which was his
favourite restingplace by day when the sun shone and the weather was warm
Nicholas had this wheeled into a little orchard which was close at hand and his
charge being well wrapped up and carried out to it they used to sit there
sometimes for hours together
It was on one of these occasions that a circumstance took place which
Nicholas at the time thoroughly believed to be the mere delusion of an
imagination affected by disease but which he had afterwards too good reason
to know was of real and actual occurrence
He had brought Smike out in his arms poor fellow a child might have
carried him then to see the sunset and having arranged his couch had taken
his seat beside it He had been watching the whole of the night before and
being greatly fatigued both in mind and body gradually fell asleep
He could not have closed his eyes five minutes when he was awakened by a
scream and starting up in that kind of terror which affects a person suddenly
roused saw to his great astonishment that his charge had struggled into a
sitting posture and with eyes almost starting from their sockets cold dew
standing on his forehead and in a fit of trembling which quite convulsed his
frame was calling to him for help
»Good Heaven what is this« said Nicholas bending over him »Be calm you
have been dreaming«
»No no no« cried Smike clinging to him »Hold me tight Dont let me go
There there Behind the tree«
Nicholas followed his eyes which were directed to some distance behind the
chair from which he himself had just risen But there was nothing there
»This is nothing but your fancy« he said as he strove to compose him
»nothing else indeed«
»I know better I saw as plain as I see now« was the answer »Oh say
youll keep me with you Swear you wont leave me for an instant«
»Do I ever leave you« returned Nicholas »Lie down again there You see
Im here Now tell me what was it«
»Do you remember« said Smike in a low voice and glancing fearfully round
»do you remember my telling you of the man who first took me to the school«
»Yes surely«
»I raised my eyes just now towards that tree that one with the thick
trunk and there with his eyes fixed on me he stood«
»Only reflect for one moment« said Nicholas »granting for an instant
that its likely he is alive and wandering about a lonely place like this so
far removed from the public road do you think that at this distance of time you
could possibly know that man again«
»Anywhere in any dress« returned Smike »but just now he stood leaning
upon his stick and looking at me exactly as I told you I remembered him He was
dusty with walking and poorly dressed I think his clothes were ragged but
directly I saw him the wet night his face when he left me the parlour I was
left in the people who were there all seemed to come back together When he
knew I saw him he looked frightened for he started and shrank away I have
thought of him by day and dreamt of him by night He looked in my sleep when I
was quite a little child and has looked in my sleep ever since as he did just
now«
Nicholas endeavoured by every persuasion and argument he could think of to
convince the terrified creature that his imagination had deceived him and that
this close resemblance between the creation of his dreams and the man he
supposed he had seen was but a proof of it but all in vain When he could
persuade him to remain for a few moments in the care of the people to whom the
house belonged he instituted a strict inquiry whether any stranger had been
seen and searched himself behind the tree and through the orchard and upon
the land immediately adjoining and in every place near where it was possible
for a man to lie concealed but all in vain Satisfied that he was right in his
original conjecture he applied himself to calming the fears of Smike which
after some time he partially succeeded in doing though not in removing the
impression upon his mind for he still declared again and again in the most
solemn and fervid manner that he had positively seen what he had described and
that nothing could ever remove his conviction of its reality.
And now Nicholas began to see that hope was gone and that upon the
partner of his poverty and the sharer of his better fortune the world was
closing fast There was little pain little uneasiness but there was no
rallying no effort no struggle for life He was worn and wasted to the last
degree his voice had sunk so low that he could scarce be heard to speak
Nature was thoroughly exhausted and he had lain him down to die
On a fine mild autumn day when all was tranquil and at peace when the soft
sweet air crept in at the open window of the quiet room and not a sound was
heard but the gentle rustling of the leaves Nicholas sat in his old place by
the bedside and knew that the time was nearly come So very still it was that
every now and then he bent down his ear to listen for the breathing of him who
lay asleep as if to assure himself that life was still there and that he had
not fallen into that deep slumber from which on earth there is no waking
While he was thus employed the closed eyes opened and on the pale face
there came a placid smile
»Thats well« said Nicholas »The sleep has done you good«
»I have had such pleasant dreams« was the answer »Such pleasant happy
dreams«
»Of what« said Nicholas
The dying boy turned towards him and putting his arm about his neck made
answer »I shall soon be there«
After a short silence he spoke again
»I am not afraid to die« he said »I am quite contented I almost think
that if I could rise from this bed quite well I would not wish to do so now
You have so often told me we shall meet again so very often lately and now I
feel the truth of that so strongly that I can even bear to part from you«
The trembling voice and tearful eye and the closer grasp of the arm which
accompanied these latter words showed how they filled the speakers heart nor
were there wanting indications of how deeply they had touched the heart of him
to whom they were addressed
»You say well« returned Nicholas at length »and comfort me very much dear
fellow Let me hear you say you are happy if you can«
»I must tell you something first I should not have a secret from you You
will not blame me at a time like this I know«
»I blame you« exclaimed Nicholas
»I am sure you will not You asked me why I was so changed and and sat so
much alone Shall I tell you why«
»Not if it pains you« said Nicholas »I only asked that I might make you
happier if I could«
»I know I felt that at the time« He drew his friend closer to him »You
will forgive me I could not help it but though I would have died to make her
happy it broke my heart to see I know he loves her dearly Oh who could
find that out so soon as I«
The words which followed were feebly and faintly uttered and broken by long
pauses but from them Nicholas learnt for the first time that the dying boy
with all the ardour of a nature concentrated on one absorbing hopeless secret
passion loved his sister Kate
He had procured a lock of her hair which hung at his breast folded in one
or two slight ribands she had worn He prayed that when he was dead Nicholas
would take it off so that no eyes but his might see it and that when he was
laid in his coffin and about to be placed in the earth he would hang it round
his neck again that it might rest with him in the grave
Upon his knees Nicholas gave him this pledge and promised again that he
should rest in the spot he had pointed out They embraced and kissed each other
on the cheek
»Now« he murmured »I am happy«
He fell into a light slumber and waking smiled as before then spoke of
beautiful gardens which he said stretched out before him and were filled with
figures of men women and many children all with light upon their faces then
whispered that it was Eden and so died
Chapter LIX
The Plots Begin to Fail and Doubts and Dangers to Disturb the Plotter
Ralph sat alone in the solitary room where he was accustomed to take his meals
and to sit of nights when no profitable occupation called him abroad Before him
was an untasted breakfast and near to where his fingers beat restlessly upon
the table lay his watch It was long past the time at which for many years he
had put it in his pocket and gone with measured steps down stairs to the
business of the day but he took as little heed of its monotonous warning as of
the meat and drink before him and remained with his head resting on one hand
and his eyes fixed moodily on the ground
This departure from his regular and constant habit in one so regular and
unvarying in all that appertained to the daily pursuit of riches would almost
of itself have told that the usurer was not well That he laboured under some
mental or bodily indisposition and that it was one of no slight kind so to
affect a man like him was sufficiently shown by his haggard face jaded air
and hollow languid eyes which he raised at last with a start and a hasty glance
around him as one who suddenly awakes from sleep and cannot immediately
recognise the place in which he finds himself
»What is this« he said »that hangs over me and I cannot shake off I have
never pampered myself and should not be ill I have never moped and pined and
yielded to fancies but what can a man do without rest«
He pressed his hand upon his forehead
»Night after night comes and goes and I have no rest If I sleep what rest
is that which is disturbed by constant dreams of the same detested faces
crowding round me of the same detested people in every variety of action
mingling with all I say and do and always to my defeat Waking what rest have
I constantly haunted by this heavy shadow of I know not what which is its
worst character I must have rest One nights unbroken rest and I should be a
man again«
Pushing the table from him while he spoke as though he loathed the sight of
food he encountered the watch the hands of which were almost upon noon
»This is strange« he said »noon and Noggs not here what drunken brawl
keeps him away I would give something now something in money even after that
dreadful loss if he had stabbed a man in a tavern scuffle or broken into a
house or picked a pocket or done anything that would send him abroad with an
iron ring upon his leg and rid me of him Better still if I could throw
temptation in his way and lure him on to rob me He should be welcome to what
he took so I brought the law upon him for he is a traitor I swear How or
when or where I dont know though I suspect«
After waiting for another halfhour he despatched the woman who kept his
house to Newmans lodging to inquire if he were ill and why he had not come or
sent She brought back answer that he had not been home all night and that no
one could tell her anything about him
»But there is a gentleman sir« she said »below who was standing at the
door when I came in and he says «
»What says he« demanded Ralph turning angrily upon her »I told you I
would see nobody«
»He says« replied the woman abashed by his harshness »that he comes on
very particular business which admits of no excuse and I thought perhaps it
might be about «
»About what in the devils name« said Ralph »You spy and speculate on
peoples business with me do you«
»Dear no sir I saw you were anxious and thought it might be about Mr
Noggs thats all«
»Saw I was anxious« muttered Ralph »they all watch me now Where is this
person You did not say I was not down yet I hope«
The woman replied that he was in the little office and that she had said
her master was engaged but she would take the message
»Well« said Ralph »Ill see him Go you to your kitchen and keep there
Do you mind me«
Glad to be released the woman quickly disappeared Collecting himself and
assuming as much of his accustomed manner as his utmost resolution could summon
Ralph descended the stairs After pausing for a few moments with his hand upon
the lock he entered Newmans room and confronted Mr Charles Cheeryble
Of all men alive this was one of the last he would have wished to meet at
any time but now that he recognised in him only the patron and protector of
Nicholas he would rather have seen a spectre One beneficial effect however
the encounter had upon him It instantly roused all his dormant energies
rekindled in his breast the passions that for many years had found an
improving home there called up all his wrath hatred and malice restored the
sneer to his lip and the scowl to his brow and made him again in all outward
appearance the same Ralph Nickleby whom so many had bitter cause to remember
»Humph« said Ralph pausing at the door »This is an unexpected favour
sir«
»And an unwelcome one« said brother Charles »an unwelcome one I know«
»Men say you are truth itself sir« replied Ralph »You speak truth now at
all events and Ill not contradict you The favour is at least as unwelcome
as it is unexpected I can scarcely say more«
»Plainly sir « began brother Charles
»Plainly sir« interrupted Ralph »I wish this conference to be a short
one and to end where it begins I guess the subject upon which you are about to
speak and Ill not hear you You like plainness I believe there it is Here
is the door as you see Our ways lie in very different directions Take yours I
beg of you and leave me to pursue mine in quiet«
»In quiet« repeated brother Charles mildly and looking at him with more of
pity than reproach »To pursue his way in quiet«
»You will scarcely remain in my house I presume sir against my will«
said Ralph »or you can scarcely hope to make an impression upon a man who
closes his ears to all that you can say and is firmly and resolutely determined
not to hear you«
»Mr Nickleby sir« returned brother Charles no less mildly than before
but firmly too »I come here against my will sorely and grievously against my
will I have never been in this house before and to speak my mind sir I
dont feel at home or easy in it and have no wish ever to be here again You do
not guess the subject on which I come to speak to you you do not indeed I am
sure of that or your manner would be a very different one«
Ralph glanced keenly at him but the clear eye and open countenance of the
honest old merchant underwent no change of expression and met his look without
reserve
»Shall I go on« said Mr Cheeryble
»Oh by all means if you please« returned Ralph drily »Here are walls to
speak to sir a desk and two stools most attentive auditors and certain not
to interrupt you Go on I beg make my house yours and perhaps by the time I
return from my walk you will have finished what you have to say and will yield
me up possession again«
So saying he buttoned his coat and turning into the passage took down his
hat The old gentleman followed and was about to speak when Ralph waved him
off impatiently and said
»Not a word I tell you sir not a word Virtuous as you are you are not
an angel yet to appear in mens houses whether they will or no and pour your
speech into unwilling ears Preach to the walls I tell you not to me«
»I am no angel Heaven knows« returned brother Charles shaking his head
»but an erring and imperfect man nevertheless there is one quality which all
men have in common with the angels blessed opportunities of exercising if
they will mercy It is an errand of mercy that brings me here Pray let me
discharge it«
»I show no mercy« retorted Ralph with a triumphant smile »and I ask none
Seek no mercy from me sir in behalf of the fellow who has imposed upon your
childish credulity but let him expect the worst that I can do«
»He ask mercy at your hands« exclaimed the old merchant warmly »ask it at
his sir ask it at his If you will not hear me now when you may hear me when
you must or anticipate what I would say and take measures to prevent our ever
meeting again Your nephew is a noble lad sir an honest noble lad What you
are Mr Nickleby I will not say but what you have done I know Now sir
when you go about the business in which you have been recently engaged and find
it difficult of pursuing come to me and my brother Ned and Tim Linkinwater
sir and well explain it for you and come soon or it may be too late and
you may have it explained with a little more roughness and a little less
delicacy and never forget sir that I came here this morning in mercy to
you and am still ready to talk to you in the same spirit«
With these words uttered with great emphasis and emotion brother Charles
put on his broadbrimmed hat and passing Ralph Nickleby without any other
remark trotted nimbly into the street Ralph looked after him but neither
moved nor spoke for some time when he broke what almost seemed the silence of
stupefaction by a scornful laugh
»This« he said »from its wildness should be another of those dreams that
have so broken my rest of late In mercy to me Pho The old simpleton has gone
mad«
Although he expressed himself in this derisive and contemptuous manner it
was plain that the more Ralph pondered the more ill at ease he became and the
more he laboured under some vague anxiety and alarm which increased as the time
passed on and no tidings of Newman Noggs arrived After waiting until late in
the afternoon tortured by various apprehensions and misgivings and the
recollection of the warning which his nephew had given him when they last met
the further confirmation of which now presented itself in one shape of
probability now in another and haunted him perpetually he left home and
scarcely knowing why save that he was in a suspicious and agitated mood betook
himself to Snawleys house His wife presented herself and of her Ralph
inquired whether her husband was at home
»No« she said sharply »he is not indeed and I dont think he will be at
home for a very long time thats more«
»Do you know who I am« asked Ralph
»Oh yes I know you very well too well perhaps and perhaps he does too
and sorry am I that I should have to say it«
»Tell him that I saw him through the windowblind above as I crossed the
road just now and that I would speak to him on business« said Ralph »Do you
hear«
»I hear« rejoined Mrs Snawley taking no further notice of the request
»I knew this woman was a hypocrite in the way of psalms and Scripture
phrases« said Ralph passing quietly by »but I never knew she drank before«
»Stop You dont come in here« said Mr Snawleys betterhalf interposing
her person which was a robust one in the doorway »You have said more than
enough to him on business before now I always told him what dealing with you
and working out your schemes would come to It was either you or the
schoolmaster one of you or the two between you that got the forged letter
done remember that That wasnt his doing so dont lay that at his door«
»Hold your tongue you Jezebel« said Ralph looking fearfully round
»Ah I know when to hold my tongue and when to speak Mr Nickleby«
retorted the dame »Take care that other people know when to hold their
tongues«
»You jade« said Ralph »if your husband has been idiot enough to trust you
with his secrets keep them keep them shedevil that you are«
»Not so much his secrets as other peoples secrets perhaps« retorted the
woman »not so much his secrets as yours None of your black looks at me Youll
want em all perhaps for another time You had better keep em«
»Will you« said Ralph suppressing his passion as well as he could and
clutching her tightly by the wrist »will you go to your husband and tell him
that I know he is at home and that I must see him And will you tell me what it
is that you and he mean by this new style of behaviour«
»No« replied the woman violently disengaging herself »Ill do neither«
»You set me at defiance do you« said Ralph
»Yes« was the answer »I do«
For an instant Ralph had his hand raised as though he were about to strike
her but checking himself and nodding his head and muttering as though to
assure her he would not forget this walked away
Thence he went straight to the inn which Mr Squeers frequented and
inquired when he had been there last in the vague hope that successful or
unsuccessful he might by this time have returned from his mission and be able
to assure him that all was safe But Mr Squeers had not been there for ten
days and all that the people could tell about him was that he had left his
luggage and his bill
Disturbed by a thousand fears and surmises and bent upon ascertaining
whether Squeers had any suspicion of Snawley or was in any way a party to
this altered behaviour Ralph determined to hazard the extreme step of inquiring
for him at the Lambeth lodging and having an interview with him even there
Bent upon this purpose and in that mood in which delay is insupportable he
repaired at once to the place and being by description perfectly acquainted
with the situation of his room crept up stairs and knocked gently at the door
Not one nor two nor three nor yet a dozen knocks served to convince
Ralph against his wish that there was nobody inside He reasoned that he might
be asleep and listening almost persuaded himself that he could hear him
breathe Even when he was satisfied that he could not be there he sat patiently
on a broken stair and waited arguing that he had gone out upon some slight
errand and must soon return
Many feet came up the creaking stairs and the step of some seemed to his
listening ear so like that of the man for whom he waited that Ralph often stood
up to be ready to address him when he reached the top but one by one each
person turned off into some room short of the place where he was stationed and
at every such disappointment he felt quite chilled and lonely
At length he felt it was hopeless to remain and going down stairs again
inquired of one of the lodgers if he knew anything of Mr Squeerss movements
mentioning that worthy by an assumed name which had been agreed upon between
them By this lodger he was referred to another and by him to some one else
from whom he learnt that late on the previous night he had gone out hastily
with two men who had shortly afterwards returned for the old woman who lived on
the same floor and that although the circumstance had attracted the attention
of the informant he had not spoken to them at the time nor made any inquiry
afterwards
This possessed him with the idea that perhaps Peg Sliderskew had been
apprehended for the robbery and that Mr Squeers being with her at the time
had been apprehended also on suspicion of being a confederate If this were so
the fact must be known to Gride and to Grides house he directed his steps now
thoroughly alarmed and fearful that there were indeed plots afoot tending to
his discomfiture and ruin
Arrived at the usurers house he found the windows close shut the dingy
blinds drawn down all silent melancholy and deserted But this was its usual
aspect He knocked gently at first then loud and vigorously Nobody came He
wrote a few words in pencil on a card and having thrust it under the door was
going away when a noise above as though a windowsash were stealthily raised
caught his ear and looking up he could just discern the face of Gride himself
cautiously peering over the house parapet from the window of the garret Seeing
who was below he drew it in again not so quickly however but that Ralph let
him know he was observed and called to him to come down
The call being repeated Gride looked out again so cautiously that no part
of the old mans body was visible The sharp features and white hair appearing
alone above the parapet looked like a severed head garnishing the wall
»Hush« he cried »Go away go away«
»Come down« said Ralph beckoning him
»Go away« squeaked Gride shaking his head in a sort of ecstasy of
impatience »Dont speak to me dont knock dont call attention to the house
but go away«
»Ill knock I swear till I have your neighbours up in arms« said Ralph
»if you dont tell me what you mean by lurking there you whining cur«
»I cant hear what you say dont talk to me it isnt safe go away go
away« returned Gride
»Come down I say Will you come down« said Ralph fiercely
»Noooo« snarled Gride He drew in his head and Ralph left standing in
the street could hear the sash closed as gently and carefully as it had been
opened
»How is this« said he »that they all fall from me and shun me like the
plague these men who have licked the dust from my feet Is my day past and is
this indeed the coming on of night Ill know what it means I will at any
cost I am firmer and more myself just now than I have been these many days«
Turning from the door which in the first transport of his rage he had
meditated battering upon until Grides very fears should impel him to open it
he turned his face towards the city and working his way steadily through the
crowd which was pouring from it it was by this time between five and six
oclock in the afternoon went straight to the house of business of the brothers
Cheeryble and putting his head into the glass case found Tim Linkinwater
alone
»My names Nickleby« said Ralph
»I know it« replied Tim surveying him through his spectacles
»Which of your firm was it who called on me this morning« demanded Ralph
»Mr Charles«
»Then tell Mr Charles I want to see him«
»You shall see« said Tim getting off his stool with great agility »you
shall see not only Mr Charles but Mr Ned likewise«
Tim stopped looked steadily and severely at Ralph nodded his head once in
a curt manner which seemed to say there was a little more behind and vanished
After a short interval he returned and ushering Ralph into the presence of
the two brothers remained in the room himself
»I want to speak to you who spoke to me this morning« said Ralph pointing
out with his finger the man whom he addressed
»I have no secrets from my brother Ned or from Tim Linkinwater« observed
brother Charles quietly
»I have« said Ralph
»Mr Nickleby sir« said brother Ned »the matter upon which my brother
Charles called upon you this morning is one which is already perfectly well
known to us three and to others besides and must unhappily soon become known
to a great many more He waited upon you sir this morning alone as a matter
of delicacy and consideration We feel now that further delicacy and
consideration would be misplaced and if we confer together it must be as we
are or not at all«
»Well gentlemen« said Ralph with a curl of the lip »talking in riddles
would seem to be the peculiar forte of you two and I suppose your clerk like a
prudent man has studied the art also with a view to your good graces Talk in
company gentlemen in Gods name Ill humour you«
»Humour« cried Tim Linkinwater suddenly growing very red in the face
»Hell humour us Hell humour Cheeryble Brothers Do you hear that Do you hear
him Do you hear him say hell humour Cheeryble Brothers«
»Tim« said Charles and Ned together »pray Tim pray now dont«
Tim taking the hint stifled his indignation as well as he could and
suffered it to escape through his spectacles with the additional safety valve
of a short hysterical laugh now and then which seemed to relieve him mightily
»As nobody bids me to a seat« said Ralph looking round »Ill take one
for I am fatigued with walking And now if you please gentlemen I wish to
know I demand to know I have the right what you have to say to me which
justifies such a tone as you have assumed and that underhand interference in my
affairs which I have reason to suppose you have been practising I tell you
plainly gentlemen that little as I care for the opinion of the world as the
slang goes I dont choose to submit quietly to slander and malice Whether you
suffer yourselves to be imposed upon too easily or wilfully make yourselves
parties to it the result to me is the same In either case you cant expect
from a plain man like myself much consideration or forbearance«
So coolly and deliberately was this said that nine men out of ten ignorant
of the circumstances would have supposed Ralph to be really an injured man
There he sat with folded arms paler than usual certainly and sufficiently
illfavoured but quite collected far more so than the brothers or the
exasperated Tim and ready to face out the worst
»Very well sir« said brother Charles »Very well Brother Ned will you
ring the bell«
»Charles my dear fellow stop one instant« returned the other »It will be
better for Mr Nickleby and for our object that he should remain silent if he
can till we have said what we have to say I wish him to understand that«
»Quite right quite right« said brother Charles
Ralph smiled but made no reply The bell was rung the roomdoor opened a
man came in with a halting walk and looking round Ralphs eyes met those of
Newman Noggs From that moment his heart began to fail him
»This is a good beginning« he said bitterly »Oh this is a good beginning
You are candid honest openhearted fairdealing men I always knew the real
worth of such characters as yours To tamper with a fellow like this who would
sell his soul if he had one for drink and whose every word is a lie What men
are safe if this is done Oh its a good beginning«
»I will speak« cried Newman standing on tiptoe to look over Tims head
who had interposed to prevent him »Hallo you sir old Nickleby what do you
mean when you talk of a fellow like this Who made me a fellow like this If I
would sell my soul for drink why wasnt I a thief swindler housebreaker area
sneak robber of pence out of the trays of blind mens dogs rather than your
drudge and packhorse If my every word was a lie why wasnt I a pet and
favourite of yours Lie When did I ever cringe and fawn to you Tell me that I
served you faithfully I did more work because I was poor and took more hard
words from you because I despised you and them than any man you could have got
from the parish workhouse I did I served you because I was proud because I
was a lonely man with you and there were no other drudges to see my
degradation because nobody knew better than you that I was a ruined man that
I hadnt always been what I am and that I might have been better off if I
hadnt been a fool and fallen into the hands of you and others who were knaves
Do you deny that«
»Gently« reasoned Tim »you said you wouldnt«
»I said I wouldnt« cried Newman thrusting him aside and moving his hand
as Tim moved so as to keep him at armslength »Dont tell me Here you
Nickleby Dont pretend not to mind me it wont do I know better You were
talking of tampering just now Who tampered with Yorkshire schoolmasters and
while they sent the drudge out that he shouldnt overhear forgot that such
great caution might render him suspicious and that he might watch his master
out at nights and might set other eyes to watch the schoolmaster Who tampered
with a selfish father urging him to sell his daughter to old Arthur Gride and
tampered with Gride too and did so in the little office with a closet in the
room«
Ralph had put a great command upon himself but he could not have suppressed
a slight start if he had been certain to be beheaded for it next moment
»Aha« cried Newman »You mind me now do you What first set this fag to be
jealous of his masters actions and to feel that if he hadnt crossed him when
he might he would have been as bad as he or worse That masters cruel
treatment of his own flesh and blood and vile designs upon a young girl who
interested even his brokendown drunken miserable hack and made him linger in
his service in the hope of doing her some good as thank God he had done
others once or twice before when he would otherwise have relieved his
feelings by pummelling his master soundly and then going to the Devil He would
mark that and mark this that Im here now because these gentlemen thought
it best When I sought them out as I did there was no tampering with me I
told them I wanted help to find you out to trace you down to go through with
what I had begun to help the right and that when I had done it Id burst into
your room and tell you all face to face man to man and like a man Now Ive
said my say and let anybody else say theirs and fire away«
With this concluding sentiment Newman Noggs who had been perpetually
sitting down and getting up again all through his speech which he had delivered
in a series of jerks and who was from the violent exercise and the excitement
combined in a state of most intense and fiery heat became without passing
through any intermediate stage stiff upright and motionless and so remained
staring at Ralph Nickleby with all his might and main
Ralph looked at him for an instant and for an instant only then waved
his hand and beating the ground with his foot said in a choking voice
»Go on gentlemen go on Im patient you see Theres law to be had
theres law I shall call you to an account for this Take care what you say I
shall make you prove it«
»The proof is ready« returned brother Charles »quite ready to our hands
The man Snawley last night made a confession«
»Who may the man Snawley be« returned Ralph »and what may his confession
have to do with my affairs«
To this inquiry put with a dogged inflexibility of manner the old
gentleman returned no answer but went on to say that to show him how much they
were in earnest it would be necessary to tell him not only what accusations
were made against him but what proof of them they had and how that proof had
been acquired This laying open of the whole question brought up brother Ned
Tim Linkinwater and Newman Noggs all three at once who after a vast deal of
talking together and a scene of great confusion laid before Ralph in distinct
terms the following statement
That Newman having been solemnly assured by one not then producible that
Smike was not the son of Snawley and this person having offered to make oath to
that effect if necessary they had by this communication been first led to
doubt the claim set up which they would otherwise have seen no reason to
dispute supported as it was by evidence which they had no power of disproving
That once suspecting the existence of a conspiracy they had no difficulty in
tracing back its origin to the malice of Ralph and the vindictiveness and
avarice of Squeers That suspicion and proof being two very different things
they had been advised by a lawyer eminent for his sagacity and acuteness in
such practice to resist the proceedings taken on the other side for the
recovery of the youth as slowly and artfully as possible and meanwhile to
beset Snawley with whom it was clear the main falsehood must rest to lead
him if possible into contradictory and conflicting statements to harass him
by all available means and so to practise on his fears and regard for his own
safety as to induce him to divulge the whole scheme and to give up his
employer and whomsoever else he could implicate That all this had been
skilfully done but that Snawley who was well practised in the arts of low
cunning and intrigue had successfully baffled all their attempts until an
unexpected circumstance had brought him last night upon his knees
It thus arose When Newman Noggs reported that Squeers was again in town
and that an interview of such secrecy had taken place between him and Ralph that
he had been sent out of the house plainly lest he should overhear a word a
watch was set upon the schoolmaster in the hope that something might be
discovered which would throw some light upon the suspected plot It being found
however that he held no further communication with Ralph nor any with Snawley
and lived quite alone they were completely at fault the watch was withdrawn
and they would have observed his motions no longer if it had not happened that
one night Newman stumbled unobserved on him and Ralph in the street together
Following them he discovered to his surprise that they repaired to various
low lodginghouses and taverns kept by broken gamblers to more than one of
whom Ralph was known and that they were in pursuit so he found by inquiries
when they had left of an old woman whose description exactly tallied with
that of deaf Mrs Sliderskew Affairs now appearing to assume a more serious
complexion the watch was renewed with increased vigilance an officer was
procured who took up his abode in the same tavern with Squeers and by him and
Frank Cheeryble the footsteps of the unconscious schoolmaster were dogged
until he was safely housed in the lodging at Lambeth Mr Squeers having shifted
his lodging the officer shifted his and lying concealed in the same street
and indeed in the opposite house soon found that Mr Squeers and Mrs
Sliderskew were in constant communication
In this state of things Arthur Gride was appealed to The robbery partly
owing to the inquisitiveness of the neighbours and partly to his own grief and
rage had long ago become known but he positively refused to give his
sanction or yield any assistance to the old womans capture and was seized with
such a panic at the idea of being called upon to give evidence against her that
he shut himself up close in his house and refused to hold communication with
anybody Upon this the pursuers took counsel together and coming so near the
truth as to arrive at the conclusion that Gride and Ralph with Squeers for
their instrument were negotiating for the recovery of some of the stolen papers
which would not bear the light and might possibly explain the hints relative to
Madeline which Newman had overheard resolved that Mrs Sliderskew should be
taken into custody before she had parted with them and Squeers too if anything
suspicious could be attached to him Accordingly a searchwarrant being
procured and all prepared Mr Squeerss window was watched until his light
was put out and the time arrived when as had been previously ascertained he
usually visited Mrs Sliderskew This done Frank Cheeryble and Newman stole up
stairs to listen to their discourse and to give the signal to the officer at
the most favourable time At what an opportune moment they arrived how they
listened and what they heard is already known to the reader Mr Squeers
still half stunned was hurried off with a stolen deed in his possession and
Mrs Sliderskew was apprehended likewise The information being promptly carried
to Snawley that Squeers was in custody he was not told for what that worthy
first extorting a promise that he should be kept harmless declared the whole
tale concerning Smike to be a fiction and forgery and implicated Ralph Nickleby
to the fullest extent As to Mr Squeers he had that morning undergone a
private examination before a magistrate and being unable to account
satisfactorily for his possession of the deed or his companionship with Mrs
Sliderskew had been with her remanded for a week
All these discoveries were now related to Ralph circumstantially and in
detail Whatever impression they secretly produced he suffered no sign of
emotion to escape him but sat perfectly still not raising his frowning eyes
from the ground and covering his mouth with his hand When the narrative was
concluded he raised his head hastily as if about to speak but on brother
Charles resuming fell into his old attitude again
»I told you this morning« said the old gentleman laying his hand upon his
brothers shoulder »that I came to you in mercy How far you may be implicated
in this last transaction or how far the person who is now in custody may
criminate you you best know But justice must take its course against the
parties implicated in the plot against this poor unoffending injured lad It
is not in my power or in the power of my brother Ned to save you from the
consequences The utmost we can do is to warn you in time and to give you an
opportunity of escaping them We would not have an old man like you disgraced
and punished by your near relation nor would we have him forget like you all
ties of blood and nature We entreat you brother Ned you join me I know in
this entreaty and so Tim Linkinwater do you although you pretend to be an
obstinate dog sir and sit there frowning as if you didnt we entreat you to
retire from London to take shelter in some place where you will be safe from
the consequences of these wicked designs and where you may have time sir to
atone for them and to become a better man«
»And do you think« returned Ralph rising »and do you think you will so
easily crush me Do you think that a hundred wellarranged plans or a hundred
suborned witnesses or a hundred false curs at my heels or a hundred canting
speeches full of oily words will move me I thank you for disclosing your
schemes which I am now prepared for You have not the man to deal with that you
think try me and remember that I spit upon your fair words and false dealings
and dare you provoke you taunt you to do to me the very worst you can«
Thus they parted for that time but the worst had not come yet
Chapter LX
The Dangers Thicken and the Worst Is Told
Instead of going home Ralph threw himself into the first street cabriolet he
could find and directing the driver towards the policeoffice of the district
in which Mr Squeerss misfortunes had occurred alighted at a short distance
from it and discharging the man went the rest of his way thither on foot
Inquiring for the object of his solicitude he learnt that he had timed his
visit well for Mr Squeers was in fact at that moment waiting for a
hackneycoach he had ordered and in which he purposed proceeding to his weeks
retirement like a gentleman
Demanding speech with the prisoner he was ushered into a kind of
waitingroom in which by reason of his scholastic profession and superior
respectability Mr Squeers had been permitted to pass the day Here by the
light of a guttering and blackened candle he could barely discern the
schoolmaster fast asleep on a bench in a remote corner An empty glass stood on
a table before him which with his somnolent condition and a very strong smell
of brandy and water forewarned the visitor that Mr Squeers had been seeking
in creature comforts a temporary forgetfulness of his unpleasant situation
It was not a very easy matter to rouse him so lethargic and heavy were his
slumbers Regaining his faculties by slow and faint glimmerings he at length
sat upright and displaying a very yellow face a very red nose and a very
bristly beard the joint effect of which was considerably heightened by a dirty
white handkerchief spotted with blood drawn over the crown of his head and
tied under his chin stared ruefully at Ralph in silence until his feelings
found a vent in this pithy sentence
»I say young fellow youve been and done it now you have«
»Whats the matter with your head« asked Ralph
»Why your man your informing kidnapping man has been and broke it«
rejoined Squeers sulkily »thats whats the matter with it Youve come at
last have you«
»Why have you not sent to me« said Ralph »How could I come till I knew
what had befallen you«
»My family« hiccupped Mr Squeers raising his eye to the ceiling »my
daughter as is at that age when all the sensibilities is a coming out strong in
blow my son as is the young Norval of private life and the pride and ornament
of a doting willage heres a shock for my family The coat of arms of the
Squeerses is tore and their sun is gone down into the ocean wave«
»You have been drinking« said Ralph »and have not yet slept yourself
sober«
»I havent been drinking your health my codger« replied Mr Squeers »so
you have nothing to do with that«
Ralph suppressed the indignation which the schoolmasters altered and
insolent manner awakened and asked again why he had not sent to him
»What should I get by sending to you« returned Squeers »To be known to be
in with you wouldnt do me a deal of good and they wont take bail till they
know something more of the case so here am I hard and fast and there are you
loose and comfortable«
»And so must you be in a few days« retorted Ralph with affected
goodhumour »They cant hurt you man«
»Why I suppose they cant do much to me if I explain how it was that I got
into the good company of that there cadaverous old Slider« replied Squeers
viciously »who I wish was dead and buried and resurrected and dissected and
hung upon wires in a anatomical museum before ever Id had anything to do with
her This is what him with the powdered head says this morning in so many
words Prisoner As you have been found in company with this woman as you were
detected in possession of this document as you were engaged with her in
fraudulently destroying others and can give no satisfactory account of
yourself I shall remand you for a week in order that inquiries may be made
and evidence got And meanwhile I cant take any bail for your appearance Well
then what I say now is that I can give a satisfactory account of myself I
can hand in the card of my establishment and say I am the Wackford Squeers as
is therein named sir I am the man as is guaranteed by unimpeachable
references to be a outandouter in morals and uprightness of principle
Whatever is wrong in this business is no fault of mine I had no evil design in
it sir I was not aware that anything was wrong I was merely employed by a
friend my friend Mr Ralph Nickleby of Golden Square Send for him sir and
ask him what he has to say hes the man not me«
»What document was it that you had« asked Ralph evading for the moment
the point just raised
»What document Why the document« replied Squeers »The Madeline
whatshername one It was a will thats what it was«
»Of what nature whose will when dated how benefiting her to what
extent« asked Ralph hurriedly
»A will in her favour thats all I know« rejoined Squeers »and thats
more than youd have known if youd had them bellows on your head Its all
owing to your precious caution that they got hold of it If you had let me burn
it and taken my word that it was gone it would have been a heap of ashes
behind the fire instead of being whole and sound inside of my greatcoat«
»Beaten at every point« muttered Ralph
»Ah« sighed Squeers who between the brandy and water and his broken head
wandered strangely »at the delightful village of Dotheboys near Greta Bridge in
Yorkshire youth are boarded clothed booked washed furnished with
pocketmoney provided with all necessaries instructed in all languages living
and dead mathematics orthography geometry astronomy trigonometry this is
a altered state of trigonomics this is A double l all everything a
cobblers weapon Upup adjective not down Squdouble ers Squeers noun
substantive a educator of youth Total all up with Squeers«
His running on in this way had afforded Ralph an opportunity of recovering
his presence of mind which at once suggested to him the necessity of removing
as far as possible the schoolmasters misgivings and leading him to believe
that his safety and best policy lay in the preservation of a rigid silence
»I tell you once again« he said »they cant hurt you You shall have an
action for false imprisonment and make a profit of this yet We will devise a
story for you that should carry you through twenty times such a trivial scrape
as this and if they want security in a thousand pounds for your reappearance in
case you should be called upon you shall have it All you have to do is to
keep back the truth Youre a little fuddled tonight and may not be able to
see this as clearly as you would at another time but this is what you must do
and youll need all your senses about you for a slip might be awkward«
»Oh« said Squeers who had looked cunningly at him with his head stuck on
one side like an old raven »Thats what Im to do is it Now then just you
hear a word or two from me I ant a going to have any stories made for me and
I ant a going to stick to any If I find matters going again me I shall expect
you to take your share and Ill take care you do You never said anything about
danger I never bargained for being brought into such a plight as this and I
dont mean to take it as quiet as you think I let you lead me on from one
thing to another because we had been mixed up together in a certain sort of a
way and if you had liked to be illnatured you might perhaps have hurt the
business and if you liked to be goodnatured you might throw a good deal in my
way Well if all goes right now thats quite correct and I dont mind it but
if anything goes wrong then times are altered and I shall just say and do
whatever I think may serve me most and take advice from nobody My moral
influence with them lads« added Mr Squeers with deeper gravity »is a
tottering to its basis The images of Mrs Squeers my daughter and my son
Wackford all short of vittles is perpetually before me every other
consideration melts away and vanishes in front of these the only number in all
arithmetic that I know of as a husband and a father is number one under this
here most fatal go«
How long Mr Squeers might have declaimed or how stormy a discussion his
declamation might have led to nobody knows Being interrupted at this point by
the arrival of the coach and an attendant who was to bear him company he
perched his hat with great dignity on the top of the handkerchief that bound his
head and thrusting one hand in his pocket and taking the attendants arm with
the other suffered himself to be led forth
»As I supposed from his not sending« thought Ralph »This fellow I plainly
see through all his tipsy fooling has made up his mind to turn upon me I am so
beset and hemmed in that they are not only all struck with fear but like the
beasts in the fable have their fling at me now though time was and no longer
ago than yesterday too when they were all civility and compliance But they
shall not move me Ill not give way I will not budge one inch«
He went home and was glad to find his housekeeper complaining of illness
that he might have an excuse for being alone and sending her away to where she
lived which was hard by Then he sat down by the light of a single candle and
began to think for the first time on all that had taken place that day
He had neither eaten nor drunk since last night and in addition to the
anxiety of mind he had undergone had been travelling about from place to place
almost incessantly for many hours He felt sick and exhausted but could taste
nothing save a glass of water and continued to sit with his head upon his hand
not resting or thinking but laboriously trying to do both and feeling that
every sense but one of weariness and desolation was for the time benumbed
It was nearly ten oclock when he heard a knocking at the door and still
sat quiet as before as if he could not even bring his thoughts to bear upon
that It had been often repeated and he had several times heard a voice
outside saying there was a light in the window meaning as he knew his own
candle before he could rouse himself and go down stairs
»Mr Nickleby there is terrible news for you and I am sent to beg you will
come with me directly« said a voice he seemed to recognise He held his hand
above his eyes and looking out saw Tim Linkinwater on the steps
»Come where« demanded Ralph
»To our house where you came this morning I have a coach here«
»Why should I come there« said Ralph
»Dont ask me why but pray come with me«
»Another edition of today« returned Ralph making as though he would shut
the door
»No no« cried Tim catching him by the arm and speaking most earnestly
»it is only that you may hear something that has occurred something very
dreadful Mr Nickleby which concerns you nearly Do you think I would tell you
so or come to you like this if it were not the case«
Ralph looked at him more closely Seeing that he was indeed greatly excited
he faltered and could not tell what to say or think
»You had better hear this now than at any other time« said Tim »it may
have some influence with you For Heavens sake come«
Perhaps at another time Ralphs obstinacy and dislike would have been
proof against any appeal from such a quarter however emphatically urged but
now after a moments hesitation he went into the hall for his hat and
returning got into the coach without speaking a word
Tim well remembered afterwards and often said that as Ralph Nickleby went
into the house for this purpose he saw him by the light of the candle which he
had set down upon a chair reel and stagger like a drunken man He well
remembered too that when he had placed his foot upon the coachsteps he
turned round and looked upon him with a face so ashy pale and so very wild and
vacant that it made him shudder and for the moment almost afraid to follow
People were fond of saying that he had some dark presentiment upon him then but
his emotion might perhaps with greater show of reason, be referred to what he
had undergone that day
A profound silence was observed during the ride Arrived at their place of
destination Ralph followed his conductor into the house and into a room where
the two brothers were He was so astounded not to say awed by something of a
mute compassion for himself which was visible in their manner and in that of the
old clerk that he could scarcely speak
Having taken a seat however he contrived to say though in broken words
»What what have you to say to me more than has been said already«
The room was old and large very imperfectly lighted and terminated in a
bay window about which hung some heavy drapery Casting his eyes in this
direction as he spoke he thought he made out the dusky figure of a man He was
confirmed in this impression by seeing that the object moved as if uneasy under
his scrutiny
»Whos that yonder« he said
»One who has conveyed to us within these two hours the intelligence which
caused our sending to you« replied brother Charles »Let him be sir let him
be for the present«
»More riddles« said Ralph faintly »Well sir«
In turning his face towards the brothers he was obliged to avert it from the
window but before either of them could speak he had looked round again It
was evident that he was rendered restless and uncomfortable by the presence of
the unseen person for he repeated this action several times and at length as
if in a nervous state which rendered him positively unable to turn away from the
place sat so as to have it opposite him muttering as an excuse that he could
not bear the light
The brothers conferred apart for a short time their manner showing that
they were agitated Ralph glanced at them twice or thrice and ultimately said
with a great effort to recover his selfpossession »Now what is this If I am
brought from home at this time of night let it be for something What have you
got to tell me« After a short pause he added »Is my niece dead«
He had struck upon a key which rendered the task of commencement an easier
one Brother Charles turned and said that it was a death of which they had to
tell him but that his niece was well
»You dont mean to tell me« said Ralph as his eyes brightened »that her
brothers dead No thats too good Id not believe it if you told me so It
would be too welcome news to be true«
»Shame on you you hardened and unnatural man« cried the other brother
warmly »prepare yourself for intelligence which if you have any human feeling
in your breast will make even you shrink and tremble What if we tell you that
a poor unfortunate boy a child in everything but never having known one of
those tender endearments or one of those lightsome hours which make our
childhood a time to be remembered like a happy dream through all our after life
a warmhearted harmless affectionate creature who never offended you or did
you wrong but on whom you have vented the malice and hatred you have conceived
for your nephew and whom you have made an instrument for wreaking your bad
passions upon him what if we tell you that sinking under your persecution
sir and the misery and illusage of a life short in years but long in
suffering this poor creature has gone to tell his sad tale where for your part
in it you must surely answer«
»If you tell me« said Ralph »if you tell me that he is dead I forgive you
all else If you tell me that he is dead I am in your debt and bound to you for
life He is I see it in your faces Who triumphs now Is this your dreadful
news this your terrible intelligence You see how it moves me You did well to
send I would have travelled a hundred miles afoot through mud mire and
darkness to hear this news just at this time«
Even then moved as he was by this savage joy Ralph could see in the faces
of the two brothers mingling with their look of disgust and horror something
of that indefinable compassion for himself which he had noticed before
»And he brought you the intelligence did he« said Ralph pointing with his
finger towards the recess already mentioned »and sat there no doubt to see me
prostrated and overwhelmed by it Ha ha ha But I tell him that Ill be a
sharp thorn in his side for many a long day to come and I tell you two again
that you dont know him yet and that youll rue the day you took compassion on
the vagabond«
»You take me for your nephew« said a hollow voice »it would be better for
you and for me too if I were he indeed«
The figure that he had seen so dimly rose and came slowly down He started
back for he found that he confronted not Nicholas as he had supposed but
Brooker
Ralph had no reason that he knew to fear this man he had never feared him
before but the pallor which had been observed in his face when he issued forth
that night came upon him again He was seen to tremble and his voice changed
as he said keeping his eyes upon him
»What does this fellow here Do you know he is a convict a felon a common
thief«
»Hear what he has to tell you Oh Mr Nickleby hear what he has to tell
you be he what he may« cried the brothers with such emphatic earnestness
that Ralph turned to them in wonder They pointed to Brooker Ralph again gazed
at him as it seemed mechanically
»That boy« said the man »that these gentlemen have been talking of «
»That boy« repeated Ralph looking vacantly at him
»Whom I saw stretched dead and cold upon his bed and who is now in his
grave «
»Who is now in his grave« echoed Ralph like one who talks in his sleep
The man raised his eyes and clasped his hands solemnly together
» Was your only son so help me God in heaven«
In the midst of a dead silence Ralph sat down pressing his two hands upon
his temples He removed them after a minute and never was there seen part of
a living man undisfigured by any wound such a ghastly face as he then
disclosed He looked at Brooker who was by this time standing at a short
distance from him but did not say one word or make the slightest sound or
gesture
»Gentlemen« said the man »I offer no excuses for myself I am long past
that If in telling you how this has happened I tell you that I was harshly
used and perhaps driven out of my real nature I do it only as a necessary part
of my story and not to shield myself I am a guilty man«
He stopped as if to recollect and looking away from Ralph and addressing
himself to the brothers proceeded in a subdued and humble tone
»Among those who once had dealings with this man gentlemen thats from
twenty to fiveandtwenty years ago there was one a rough foxhunting
harddrinking gentleman who had run through his own fortune and wanted to
squander away that of his sister they were both orphans and she lived with him
and managed his house I dont know whether it was originally to back his
influence and try to overpersuade the young woman or not but he« pointing to
Ralph »used to go down to the house in Leicestershire pretty often and stop
there many days at a time They had had a great many dealings together and he
may have gone on some of those or to patch up his clients affairs which were
in a ruinous state of course he went for profit The gentlewoman was not a
girl but she was I have heard say handsome and entitled to a pretty large
property In course of time he married her The same love of gain which led him
to contract this marriage led to its being kept strictly private for a clause
in her fathers will declared that if she married without her brothers consent
the property in which she had only some life interest while she remained
single should pass away altogether to another branch of the family The brother
would give no consent that the sister didnt buy and pay for handsomely Mr
Nickleby would consent to no such sacrifice and so they went on keeping their
marriage secret and waiting for the brother to break his neck or die of a
fever He did neither and meanwhile the result of this private marriage was a
son The child was put out to nurse a long way off his mother never saw him
but once or twice and then by stealth and his father so eagerly did he thirst
after the money which seemed to come almost within his grasp now for his
brotherinlaw was very ill and breaking more and more every day never went
near him to avoid raising suspicion The brother lingered on Mr Nicklebys
wife constantly urged him to avow their marriage he peremptorily refused She
remained alone in a dull country house seeing little or no company but riotous
drunken sportsmen He lived in London and clung to his business Angry quarrels
and recriminations took place and when they had been married nearly seven
years and were within a few weeks of the time when the brothers death would
have adjusted all she eloped with a younger man and left him«
Here he paused but Ralph did not stir and the brothers signed to him to
proceed
»It was then that I became acquainted with these circumstances from his own
lips They were no secrets then for the brother and others knew them but
they were communicated to me not on this account but because I was wanted He
followed the fugitives Some said to make money of his wifes shame but I
believe to take some violent revenge for that was as much his character as the
other perhaps more He didnt find them and she died not long after I dont
know whether he began to think he might like the child or whether he wished to
make sure that it should never fall into its mothers hands but before he went
he entrusted me with the charge of bringing it home And I did so«
He went on from this point in a still more humble tone and spoke in a
very low voice pointing to Ralph as he resumed
»He had used me ill cruelly I reminded him in what not long ago when I
met him in the street and I hated him I brought the child home to his own
house and lodged him in the front garret Neglect had made him very sickly and
I was obliged to call in a doctor who said he must be removed for change of
air or he would die I think that first put it in my head I did it then He
was gone six weeks and when he came back I told him with every circumstance
well planned and proved nobody could have suspected me that the child was
dead and buried He might have been disappointed in some intention he had
formed or he might have had some natural affection but he was grieved at that
and I was confirmed in my design of opening up the secret one day and making it
a means of getting money from him I had heard like most other men of
Yorkshire schools I took the child to one kept by a man named Squeers and left
it there I gave him the name of Smike Year by year I paid twenty pounds
ayear for him for six years never breathing the secret all the time for I had
left his fathers service after more hard usage and quarrelled with him again
I was sent away from this country I have been away nearly eight years
Directly I came home again I travelled down into Yorkshire and skulking in
the village of an evening time made inquiries about the boys at the school and
found that this one whom I had placed there had run away with a young man
bearing the name of his own father I sought his father out in London and
hinting at what I could tell him tried for a little money to support life but
he repulsed me with threats I then found out his clerk and going on from
little to little and showing him that there were good reasons for communicating
with me learnt what was going on and it was I who told him that the boy was no
son of the man who claimed to be his father All this time I had never seen the
boy At length I heard from this same source that he was very ill and where he
was I travelled down there that I might recal myself if possible to his
recollection and confirm my story I came upon him unexpectedly but before I
could speak he knew me he had good cause to remember me poor lad and I would
have sworn to him if I had met him in the Indies I knew the piteous face I had
seen in the little child After a few days indecision I applied to the young
gentleman in whose care he was and I found that he was dead He knows how
quickly he recognised me again how often he had described me and my leaving him
at the school and how he told him of a garret he recollected which is the one
I have spoken of and in his fathers house to this day This is my story I
demand to be brought face to face with the schoolmaster and put to any possible
proof of any part of it and I will show that its too true and that I have
this guilt upon my soul«
»Unhappy man« said the brothers »What reparation can you make for this«
»None gentlemen none I have none to make and nothing to hope now I am
old in years and older still in misery and care This confession can bring
nothing upon me but new suffering and punishment but I make it and will abide
by it whatever comes I have been made the instrument of working out this
dreadful retribution upon the head of a man who in the hot pursuit of his bad
ends has persecuted and hunted down his own child to death It must descend
upon me too I know it must fall My reparation comes too late and neither in
this world nor in the next can I have hope again«
He had hardly spoken when the lamp which stood upon the table close to
where Ralph was seated and which was the only one in the room was thrown to
the ground and left them in darkness There was some trifling confusion in
obtaining another light the interval was a mere nothing but when the light
appeared Ralph Nickleby was gone
The good brothers and Tim Linkinwater occupied some time in discussing the
probability of his return and when it became apparent that he would not come
back they hesitated whether or no to send after him At length remembering how
strangely and silently he had sat in one immoveable position during the
interview and thinking he might possibly be ill they determined although it
was now very late to send to his house on some pretence Finding an excuse in
the presence of Brooker whom they knew not how to dispose of without consulting
his wishes they concluded to act upon this resolution before going to bed
Chapter LXI
Wherein Nicholas and His Sister Forfeit the Good Opinion of All Worldly and
Prudent People
On the next morning after Brookers disclosure had been made Nicholas returned
home The meeting between him and those whom he had left there was not without
strong emotion on both sides for they had been informed by his letters of what
had occurred and besides that his griefs were theirs they mourned with him
the death of one whose forlorn and helpless state had first established a claim
upon their compassion and whose truth of heart and grateful earnest nature had
every day endeared him to them more and more
»I am sure« said Mrs Nickleby wiping her eyes and sobbing bitterly »I
have lost the best the most zealous and most attentive creature that has ever
been a companion to me in my life putting you my dear Nicholas and Kate and
your poor papa and that wellbehaved nurse who ran away with the linen and the
twelve small forks out of the question of course Of all the tractable
equaltempered attached and faithful beings that ever lived I believe he was
the most so To look round upon the garden now that he took so much pride in
or to go into his room and see it filled with so many of those little
contrivances for our comfort that he was so fond of making and made so well
and so little thought he would leave unfinished I cant bear it I cannot
really Ah This is a great trial to me a great trial It will be a comfort to
you my dear Nicholas to the end of your life to recollect how kind and good
you always were to him so it will be to me to think what excellent terms we
were always upon and how fond he always was of me poor fellow It was very
natural you should have been attached to him my dear very and of course you
were and are very much cut up by this I am sure its only necessary to look at
you and see how changed you are to see that but nobody knows what my feelings
are nobody can its quite impossible«
While Mrs Nickleby with the utmost sincerity gave vent to her sorrows
after her own peculiar fashion of considering herself foremost she was not the
only one who indulged such feelings Kate although well accustomed to forget
herself when others were to be considered could not repress her grief Madeline
was scarcely less moved than she and poor hearty honest little Miss La
Creevy who had come upon one of her visits while Nicholas was away and had
done nothing since the sad news arrived but console and cheer them all no
sooner beheld him coming in at the door than she sat herself down upon the
stairs and bursting into a flood of tears refused for a long time to be
comforted
»It hurts me so« cried the poor body »to see him come back alone I cant
help thinking what he must have suffered himself I wouldnt mind so much if he
gave way a little more but he bears it so manfully«
»Why so I should« said Nicholas »should I not«
»Yes yes« replied the little woman »and bless you for a good creature
but this does seem at first to a simple soul like me I know its wrong to say
so and I shall be sorry for it presently this does seem such a poor reward
for all you have done«
»Nay« said Nicholas gently »what better reward could I have than the
knowledge that his last days were peaceful and happy and the recollection that
I was his constant companion and was not prevented as I might have been by a
hundred circumstances from being beside him«
»To be sure« sobbed Miss La Creevy »its very true and Im an ungrateful
impious wicked little fool I know«
With that the good soul fell to crying afresh and endeavouring to recover
herself tried to laugh The laugh and the cry meeting each other thus abruptly
had a struggle for the mastery the result was that it was a drawn battle and
Miss La Creevy went into hysterics
Waiting until they were all tolerably quiet and composed again Nicholas
who stood in need of some rest after his long journey retired to his own room
and throwing himself dressed as he was upon the bed fell into a sound sleep
When he awoke he found Kate sitting by his bedside who seeing that he had
opened his eyes stooped down to kiss him
»I came to tell you how glad I am to see you home again«
»But I cant tell you how glad I am to see you Kate«
»We have been wearying so for your return« said Kate »mama and I and
and Madeline«
»You said in your last letter that she was quite well« said Nicholas
rather hastily and colouring as he spoke »Has nothing been said since I have
been away about any future arrangements that the brothers have in contemplation
for her«
»Oh not a word« replied Kate »I cant think of parting from her without
sorrow and surely Nicholas you dont wish it«
Nicholas coloured again and sitting down beside his sister on a little
couch near the window said
»No Kate no I do not I might strive to disguise my real feelings from
anybody but you but I will tell you that briefly and plainly Kate that I
love her«
Kates eyes brightened and she was going to make some reply when Nicholas
laid his hand upon her arm and went on
»Nobody must know this but you She last of all«
»Dear Nicholas«
»Last of all never though never is a long day Sometimes I try to think
that the time may come when I may honestly tell her this but it is so far off
in such distant perspective so many years must elapse before it comes and when
it does come if ever I shall be so unlike what I am now and shall have so
outlived my days of youth and romance though not I am sure of love for her
that even I feel how visionary all such hopes must be and try to crush them
rudely myself and have the pain over rather than suffer time to wither them
and keep the disappointment in store No Kate Since I have been absent I have
had in that poor fellow who is gone perpetually before my eyes another
instance of the munificent liberality of these noble brothers As far as in me
lies I will deserve it and if I have wavered in my bounden duty to them
before I am now determined to discharge it rigidly and to put further delays
and temptations beyond my reach«
»Before you say another word dear Nicholas« said Kate turning pale »you
must hear what I have to tell you I came on purpose but I had not the courage
What you say now gives me new heart« She faltered and burst into tears
There was that in her manner which prepared Nicholas for what was coming
Kate tried to speak but her tears prevented her
»Come you foolish girl« said Nicholas »why Kate Kate be a woman I
think I know what you would tell me It concerns Mr Frank does it not«
Kate sunk her head upon his shoulder and sobbed out »Yes«
»And he has offered you his hand perhaps since I have been away« said
Nicholas »is that it Yes Well well its not so difficult you see to tell
me after all He offered you his hand«
»Which I refused« said Kate
»Yes and why«
»I told him« she said in a trembling voice »all that I have since found
you told mama and while I could not conceal from him and cannot from you that
that it was a pang and a great trial I did so firmly and begged him not to
see me any more«
»Thats my own brave Kate« said Nicholas pressing her to his breast »I
knew you would«
»He tried to alter my resolution« said Kate »and declared that be my
decision what it might he would not only inform his uncles of the step he had
taken but would communicate it to you also directly you returned I am
afraid« she added her momentary composure forsaking her »I am afraid I may
not have said strongly enough how deeply I felt such disinterested love and
how earnestly I prayed for his future happiness If you do talk together I
should I should like him to know that«
»And did you suppose Kate when you had made this sacrifice to what you
knew was right and honorable that I should shrink from mine« said Nicholas
tenderly
»Oh no not if your position had been the same but «
»But it is the same« interrupted Nicholas »Madeline is not the near
relation of our benefactors but she is closely bound to them by ties as dear
and I was first entrusted with her history specially because they reposed
unbounded confidence in me and believed that I was as true as steel How base
would it be of me to take advantage of the circumstances which placed her here
or of the slight service I was happily able to render her and to seek to engage
her affections when the result must be if I succeeded that the brothers would
be disappointed in their darling wish of establishing her as their own child
and that I must seem to hope to build my fortunes on their compassion for the
young creature whom I had so meanly and unworthily entrapped turning her very
gratitude and warmth of heart to my own purpose and account and trading in her
misfortunes I too whose duty and pride and pleasure Kate it is to have
other claims upon me which I will never forget and who have the means of a
comfortable and happy life already and have no right to look beyond it I have
determined to remove this weight from my mind I doubt whether I have not done
wrong even now and today I will without reserve or equivocation disclose my
real reasons to Mr Cheeryble and implore him to take immediate measures for
removing this young lady to the shelter of some other roof«
»Today so very soon«
»I have thought of this for weeks and why should I postpone it If the
scene through which I have just passed has taught me to reflect and has
awakened me to a more anxious and careful sense of duty why should I wait until
the impression has cooled You would not dissuade me Kate now would you«
»You may grow rich you know« said Kate
»I may grow rich« repeated Nicholas with a mournful smile »ay and I may
grow old But rich or poor or old or young we shall ever be the same to each
other and in that our comfort lies What if we have but one home It can never
be a solitary one to you and me What if we were to remain so true to these
first impressions as to form no others It is but one more link to the strong
chain that binds us together It seems but yesterday that we were playfellows
Kate and it will seem but tomorrow when we are staid old people looking back
to these cares as we look back now to those of our childish days and
recollecting with a melancholy pleasure that the time was when they could move
us Perhaps then when we are quaint old folks and talk of the times when our
step was lighter and our hair not grey we may be even thankful for the trials
that so endeared us to each other and turned our lives into that current down
which we shall have glided so peacefully and calmly And having caught some
inkling of our story the young people about us as young as you and I are now
Kate may come to us for sympathy and pour distresses which hope and
inexperience could scarcely feel enough for into the compassionate ears of the
old bachelor brother and his maiden sister«
Kate smiled through her tears as Nicholas drew this picture but they were
not tears of sorrow although they continued to fall when he had ceased to
speak
»Am I not right Kate« he said after a short silence
»Quite quite dear brother and I cannot tell you how happy I am that I
have acted as you would have had me«
»You dont regret«
»Nnno« said Kate timidly tracing some pattern upon the ground with her
little foot »I dont regret having done what was honorable and right of
course but I do regret that this should have ever happened at least sometimes
I regret it and sometimes I I dont know what I say I am but a weak girl
Nicholas and it has agitated me very much«
It is no vaunt to affirm that if Nicholas had had ten thousand pounds at the
minute he would in his generous affection for the owner of the blushing cheek
and downcast eye have bestowed its utmost farthing in perfect forgetfulness of
himself to secure her happiness But all he could do was to comfort and console
her by kind words and words they were of such love and kindness and cheerful
encouragement that poor Kate threw her arms about his neck and declared she
would weep no more
»What man« thought Nicholas proudly while on his way soon afterwards to
the brothers house »would not be sufficiently rewarded for any sacrifice of
fortune by the possession of such a heart as Kates which but that hearts
weigh light and gold and silver heavy is beyond all praise Frank has money
and wants no more Where would it buy him such a treasure as Kate And yet in
unequal marriages the rich party is always supposed to make a great sacrifice
and the other to get a good bargain But I am thinking like a lover or like an
ass which I suppose is pretty nearly the same«
Checking thoughts so little adapted to the business on which he was bound
by such selfreproofs as this and many others no less sturdy he proceeded on
his way and presented himself before Tim Linkinwater
»Ah Mr Nickleby« cried Tim »God bless you How dye do Well Say youre
quite well and never better Do now«
»Quite« said Nicholas shaking him by both hands
»Ah« said Tim »you look tired though now I come to look at you Hark
there he is dye hear him That was Dick the blackbird He hasnt been
himself since youve been gone Hed never get on without you now he takes as
naturally to you as he does to me«
»Dick is a far less sagacious fellow than I supposed him if he thinks I am
half so well worthy of his notice as you« replied Nicholas
»Why Ill tell you what sir« said Tim standing in his favourite attitude
and pointing to the cage with the feather of his pen »its a very extraordinary
thing about that bird that the only people he ever takes the smallest notice
of are Mr Charles and Mr Ned and you and me«
Here Tim stopped and glanced anxiously at Nicholas then unexpectedly
catching his eye repeated »And you and me sir and you and me« And then he
glanced at Nicholas again and squeezing his hand said »I am a bad one at
putting off anything I am interested in I didnt mean to ask you but I should
like to hear a few particulars about that poor boy Did he mention Cheeryble
Brothers at all«
»Yes« said Nicholas »many and many a time«
»That was right of him« returned Tim wiping his eyes »that was very right
of him«
»And he mentioned your name a score of times« said Nicholas »and often
bade me carry back his love to Mr Linkinwater«
»No no did he though« rejoined Tim sobbing outright »Poor fellow I
wish we could have had him buried in town There isnt such a buryingground in
all London as that little one on the other side of the square there are
countinghouses all round it and if you go in there on a fine day you can see
the books and safes through the open windows And he sent his love to me did
he I didnt expect he would have thought of me Poor fellow poor fellow His
love too«
Tim was so completely overcome by this little mark of recollection that he
was quite unequal to any more conversation at the moment Nicholas therefore
slipped quietly out and went to brother Charless room
If he had previously sustained his firmness and fortitude it had been by an
effort which had cost him no little pain but the warm welcome the hearty
manner the homely unaffected commiseration of the good old man went to his
heart and no inward struggle could prevent his showing it
»Come come my dear sir« said the benevolent merchant »we must not be
cast down no no We must learn to bear misfortune and we must remember that
there are many sources of consolation even in death Every day that this poor
lad had lived he must have been less and less qualified for the world and more
and more unhappy in his own deficiencies It is better as it is my dear sir
Yes yes yes its better as it is«
»I have thought of all that sir« replied Nicholas clearing his throat »I
feel it I assure you«
»Yes thats well« replied Mr Cheeryble who in the midst of all his
comforting was quite as much taken aback as honest old Tim »thats well Where
is my brother Ned Tim Linkinwater sir where is my brother Ned«
»Gone out with Mr Trimmers about getting that unfortunate man into the
hospital and sending a nurse to his children« said Tim
»My brother Ned is a fine fellow a great fellow« exclaimed brother Charles
as he shut the door and returned to Nicholas »He will be overjoyed to see you
my dear sir We have been speaking of you every day«
»To tell you the truth sir I am glad to find you alone« said Nicholas
with some natural hesitation »for I am anxious to say something to you Can you
spare me a very few minutes«
»Surely surely« returned brother Charles looking at him with an anxious
countenance »Say on my dear sir say on«
»I scarcely know how or where to begin« said Nicholas »If ever one
mortal had reason to be penetrated with love and reverence for another with
such attachment as would make the hardest service in his behalf a pleasure and
delight with such grateful recollections as must rouse the utmost zeal and
fidelity of his nature those are the feelings which I should entertain for you
and do from my heart and soul believe me«
»I do believe you« replied the old gentleman »and I am happy in the
belief I have never doubted it I never shall I am sure I never shall«
»Your telling me that so kindly« said Nicholas »emboldens me to proceed
When you first took me into your confidence and despatched me on those missions
to Miss Bray I should have told you that I had seen her long before that her
beauty had made an impression upon me which I could not efface and that I had
fruitlessly endeavoured to trace her and become acquainted with her history I
did not tell you so because I vainly thought I could conquer my weaker
feelings and render every consideration subservient to my duty to you«
»Mr Nickleby« said brother Charles »you did not violate the confidence I
placed in you or take an unworthy advantage of it I am sure you did not«
»I did not« said Nicholas firmly »Although I found that the necessity for
selfcommand and restraint became every day more imperious and the difficulty
greater I never for one instant spoke or looked but as I would have done had
you been by I never for one moment deserted my trust nor have I to this time
But I find that constant association and companionship with this sweet girl is
fatal to my peace of mind and may prove destructive to the resolutions I made
in the beginning and up to this time have faithfully kept In short sir I
cannot trust myself and I implore and beseech you to remove this young lady
from under the charge of my mother and sister without delay I know that to any
one but myself to you who consider the immeasurable distance between me and
this young lady who is now your ward and the object of your peculiar care my
loving her even in thought must appear the height of rashness and presumption
I know it is so But who can see her as I have seen who can know what her life
has been and not love her I have no excuse but that and as I cannot fly from
this temptation and cannot repress this passion with its object constantly
before me what can I do but pray you to remove it and to leave me to forget
her«
»Mr Nickleby« said the old man after a short silence »you can do no
more I was wrong to expose a young man like you to this trial I might have
foreseen what would happen Thank you sir thank you Madeline shall be
removed«
»If you would grant me one favour dear sir and suffer her to remember me
with esteem by never revealing to her this confession «
»I will take care« said Mr Cheeryble »And now is this all you have to
tell me«
»No« returned Nicholas meeting his eye »it is not«
»I know the rest« said Mr Cheeryble apparently very much relieved by this
prompt reply »When did it come to your knowledge«
»When I reached home this morning«
»You felt it your duty immediately to come to me and tell me what your
sister no doubt acquainted you with«
»I did« said Nicholas »though I could have wished to have spoken to Mr
Frank first«
»Frank was with me last night« replied the old gentleman »You have done
well Mr Nickleby very well sir and I thank you again«
Upon this head Nicholas requested permission to add a few words He
ventured to hope that nothing he had said would lead to the estrangement of
Kate and Madeline who had formed an attachment for each other any interruption
of which would he knew be attended with great pain to them and most of all
with remorse and pain to him as its unhappy cause When these things were all
forgotten he hoped that Frank and he might still be warm friends and that no
word or thought of his humble home or of her who was well contented to remain
there and share his quiet fortunes would ever again disturb the harmony between
them He recounted as nearly as he could what had passed between himself and
Kate that morning speaking of her with such warmth of pride and affection and
dwelling so cheerfully upon the confidence they had of overcoming any selfish
regrets and living contented and happy in each others love that few could have
heard him unmoved More moved himself than he had been yet he expressed in a
few hurried words as expressive perhaps as the most eloquent phrases his
devotion to the brothers and his hope that he might live and die in their
service
To all this brother Charles listened in profound silence and with his
chair so turned from Nicholas that his face could not be seen He had not spoken
either in his accustomed manner but with a certain stiffness and embarrassment
very foreign to it Nicholas feared he had offended him He said »No no he
had done quite right« but that was all
»Frank is a heedless foolish fellow« he said after Nicholas had paused
for some time »a very heedless foolish fellow I will take care that this is
brought to a close without delay Let us say no more upon the subject its a
very painful one to me Come to me in half an hour I have strange things to
tell you my dear sir and your uncle has appointed this afternoon for your
waiting upon him with me«
»Waiting upon him With you sir« cried Nicholas
»Ay with me« replied the old gentleman »Return to me in half an hour and
Ill tell you more«
Nicholas waited upon him at the time mentioned and then learnt all that had
taken place on the previous day and all that was known of the appointment Ralph
had made with the brothers which was for that night and for the better
understanding of which it will be requisite to return and follow Ralphs own
footsteps from the house of the twin brothers Therefore we leave Nicholas
somewhat reassured by the restored kindness of their manner towards him and yet
sensible that it was different from what it had been though he scarcely knew in
what respect so he was full of uneasiness uncertainty and disquiet
Chapter LXII
Ralph Makes One Last Appointment and Keeps It
Creeping from the house and slinking off like a thief groping with his hands
when first he got into the street as if he were a blind man and looking often
over his shoulder while he hurried away as though he were followed in
imagination or reality by some one anxious to question or detain him Ralph
Nickleby left the city behind him and took the road to his own home
The night was dark and a cold wind blew driving the clouds furiously and
fast before it There was one black gloomy mass that seemed to follow him not
hurrying in the wild chase with the others but lingering sullenly behind and
gliding darkly and stealthily on He often looked back at this and more than
once stopped to let it pass over but somehow when he went forward again it
was still behind him coming mournfully and slowly up like a shadowy funeral
train
He had to pass a poor mean burial ground a dismal place raised a few
feet above the level of the street and parted from it by a low parapetwall and
an iron railing a rank unwholesome rotten spot where the very grass and
weeds seemed in their frowsy growth to tell that they had sprung from paupers
bodies and had struck their roots in the graves of men sodden while alive in
steaming courts and drunken hungry dens And here in truth they lay parted
from the living by a little earth and a board or two lay thick and close
corrupting in body as they had in mind a dense and squalid crowd Here they
lay cheek by jowl with life no deeper down than the feet of the throng that
passed there every day and piled high as their throats Here they lay a
grisly family all these dear departed brothers and sisters of the ruddy
clergyman who did his task so speedily when they were hidden in the ground
As he passed here Ralph called to mind that he had been one of a jury long
before on the body of a man who had cut his throat and that the man was buried
in this place He could not tell how he came to recollect it now when he had so
often passed and never thought about him or how it was that he felt an interest
in the circumstance but he did both and stopping and clasping the iron
railings with his hands looked eagerly in wondering which might be his grave
While he was thus engaged there came towards him with noise of shouts and
singing some fellows full of drink followed by others who were remonstrating
with them and urging them to go home in quiet They were in high goodhumour
and one of them a little weazen humpbacked man began to dance He was a
grotesque fantastic figure and the few bystanders laughed Ralph himself was
moved to mirth and echoed the laugh of one who stood near and who looked round
in his face When they had passed on and he was left alone again he resumed
his speculation with a new kind of interest for he recollected that the last
person who had seen the suicide alive had left him very merry and he
remembered how strange he and the other jurors had thought that at the time
He could not fix upon the spot among such a heap of graves but he conjured
up a strong and vivid idea of the man himself and how he looked and what had
led him to do it all of which he recalled with ease By dint of dwelling upon
this theme he carried the impression with him when he went away as he
remembered when a child to have had frequently before him the figure of some
goblin he had once seen chalked upon a door But as he drew nearer and nearer
home he forgot it again and began to think how very dull and solitary the house
would be inside
This feeling became so strong at last that when he reached his own door he
could hardly make up his mind to turn the key and open it When he had done
that and gone into the passage he felt as though to shut it again would be to
shut out the world But he let it go and it closed with a loud noise There was
no light How very dreary cold and still it was
Shivering from head to foot he made his way up stairs into the room where he
had been last disturbed He had made a kind of compact with himself that he
would not think of what had happened until he got home He was at home now and
suffered himself to consider it
His own child his own child He never doubted the tale he felt it was
true knew it as well now as if he had been privy to it all along His own
child And dead too Dying beside Nicholas loving him and looking upon him as
something like an angel That was the worst
They had all turned from him and deserted him in his very first need Even
money could not buy them now everything must come out and everybody must know
all Here was the young lord dead his companion abroad and beyond his reach
ten thousand pounds gone at one blow his plot with Gride overset at the moment
of triumph his after schemes discovered himself in danger the object of his
persecution and Nicholass love his own wretched boy everything crumbled and
fallen upon him and he beaten down beneath the ruins and grovelling in the
dust
If he had known his child to be alive if no deceit had been ever practised
and he had grown up beneath his eye he might have been a careless
indifferent rough harsh father like enough he felt that but the thought
would come that he might have been otherwise and that his son might have been a
comfort to him and they two happy together He began to think now that his
supposed death and his wifes flight had had some share in making him the
morose hard man he was He seemed to remember a time when he was not quite so
rough and obdurate and almost thought that he had first hated Nicholas because
he was young and gallant and perhaps like the stripling who had brought
dishonour and loss of fortune on his head
But one tender thought or one of natural regret in his whirlwind of
passion and remorse was as a drop of calm water in a stormy maddened sea His
hatred of Nicholas had been fed upon his own defeat nourished on his
interference with his schemes fattened upon his old defiance and success There
were reasons for its increase it had grown and strengthened gradually Now it
attained a height which was sheer wild lunacy That his of all others should
have been the hands to rescue his miserable child that he should have been his
protector and faithful friend that he should have shown him that love and
tenderness which from the wretched moment of his birth he had never known
that he should have taught him to hate his own parent and execrate his very
name that he should now know and feel all this and triumph in the
recollection was gall and madness to the usurers heart The dead boys love
for Nicholas and the attachment of Nicholas to him was insupportable agony
The picture of his deathbed with Nicholas at his side tending and supporting
him and he breathing out his thanks and expiring in his arms when he would
have had them mortal enemies and hating each other to the last drove him
frantic He gnashed his teeth and smote the air and looking wildly round with
eyes which gleamed through the darkness cried aloud
»I am trampled down and ruined The wretch told me true The night has come
Is there no way to rob them of further triumph and spurn their mercy and
compassion Is there no Devil to help me«
Swiftly there glided again into his brain the figure he had raised that
night It seemed to lie before him The head was covered now So it was when he
first saw it The rigid upturned marble feet too he remembered well Then came
before him the pale and trembling relatives who had told their tale upon the
inquest the shrieks of women the silent dread of men the consternation and
disquiet the victory achieved by that heap of clay which with one motion of
its hand had let out the life and made this stir among them
He spoke no more but after a pause softly groped his way out of the room
and up the echoing stairs up to the top to the front garret where he
closed the door behind him and remained
It was a mere lumberroom now but it yet contained an old dismantled
bedstead the one on which his son had slept for no other had ever been there
He avoided it hastily and sat down as far from it as he could
The weakened glare of the lights in the street below shining through the
window which had no blind or curtain to intercept it was enough to show the
character of the room though not sufficient fully to reveal the various
articles of lumber old corded trunks and broken furniture which were scattered
about It had a shelving roof high in one part and at another descending
almost to the floor It was towards the highest part that Ralph directed his
eyes and upon it he kept them fixed steadily for some minutes Then he rose
and dragging thither an old chest upon which he had been seated mounted on it
and felt along the wall above his head with both hands At length they touched
a large iron hook firmly driven into one of the beams
At that moment he was interrupted by a loud knocking at the door below
After a little hesitation he opened the window and demanded who it was
»I want Mr Nickleby« replied a voice
»What with him«
»Thats not Mr Nicklebys voice surely« was the rejoinder
It was not like it but it was Ralph who spoke and so he said
The voice made answer that the twin brothers wished to know whether the man
whom he had seen that night was to be detained and that although it was now
midnight they had sent in their anxiety to do right
»Yes« cried Ralph »detain him till tomorrow then let them bring him here
him and my nephew and come themselves and be sure that I will be ready to
receive them«
»At what hour« asked the voice
»At any hour« replied Ralph fiercely »In the afternoon tell them At any
hour at any minute All times will be alike to me«
He listened to the mans retreating footsteps until the sound had passed
and then gazing up into the sky saw or thought he saw the same black cloud
that had seemed to follow him home and which now appeared to hover directly
above the house
»I know its meaning now« he muttered »and the restless nights the dreams
and why I have quailed of late All pointed to this Oh if men by selling their
own souls could ride rampant for a term for how short a term would I barter
mine tonight«
The sound of a deep bell came along the wind One
»Lie on« cried the usurer »with your iron tongue Ring merrily for births
that make expectants writhe and for marriages that are made in hell and toll
ruefully for the dead whose shoes are worn already Call men to prayers who are
godly because not found out and ring chimes for the coming in of every year
that brings this cursed world nearer to its end No bell or book for me Throw
me on a dunghill and let me rot there to infect the air«
With a wild look around in which frenzy hatred and despair were horribly
mingled he shook his clenched hand at the sky above him which was still dark
and threatening and closed the window
The rain and hail pattered against the glass the chimneys quaked and
rocked the crazy casement rattled with the wind as though an impatient hand
inside were striving to burst it open But no hand was there and it opened no
more
»Hows this« cried one »The gentlemen say they cant make anybody hear and
have been trying these two hours«
»And yet he came home last night« said another »for he spoke to somebody
out of that window up stairs«
They were a little knot of men and the window being mentioned went out in
the road to look up at it This occasioned their observing that the house was
still close shut as the housekeeper had said she had left it on the previous
night and led to a great many suggestions which terminated in two or three of
the boldest getting round to the back and so entering by a window while the
others remained outside in impatient expectation
They looked into all the rooms below opening the shutters as they went to
admit the fading light and still finding nobody and everything quiet and in
its place doubted whether they should go further One man however remarking
that they had not yet been into the garret and that it was there he had been
last seen they agreed to look there too and went up softly for the mystery
and silence made them timid
After they had stood for an instant on the landing eyeing each other he
who had proposed their carrying the search so far turned the handle of the
door and pushing it open looked through the chink and fell back directly
»Its very odd« he whispered »hes hiding behind the door Look«
They pressed forward to see but one among them thrusting the others aside
with a loud exclamation drew a clasp knife from his pocket and dashing into the
room cut down the body
He had torn a rope from one of the old trunks and hanged himself on an iron
hook immediately below the trapdoor in the ceiling in the very place to which
the eyes of his son a lonely desolate little creature had so often been
directed in childish terror fourteen years before
Chapter LXIII
The Brothers Cheeryble Make Various Declarations for Themselves and Others Tim
Linkinwater Makes a Declaration for Himself
Some weeks had passed and the first shock of these events had subsided
Madeline had been removed Frank had been absent Nicholas and Kate had begun to
try in good earnest to stifle their own regrets and to live for each other and
for their mother who poor lady could in nowise be reconciled to this dull
and altered state of affairs when there came one evening per favour of Mr
Linkinwater an invitation from the Brothers to dinner on the next day but one
comprehending not only Mrs Nickleby Kate and Nicholas but little Miss La
Creevy who was most particularly mentioned
»Now my dears« said Mrs Nickleby when they had rendered becoming honor
to the bidding and Tim had taken his departure »what does this mean«
»What do you mean mother« asked Nicholas smiling
»I say my dear« rejoined that lady with a face of unfathomable mystery
»what does this invitation to dinner mean What is its intention and object«
»I conclude it means that on such a day we are to eat and drink in their
house and that its intent and object is to confer pleasure upon us« said
Nicholas
»And thats all you conclude it is my dear«
»I have not yet arrived at anything deeper mother«
»Then Ill just tell you one thing« said Mrs Nickleby »youll find
yourself a little surprised thats all You may depend upon it this means
something besides dinner«
»Tea and supper perhaps« suggested Nicholas
»I wouldnt be absurd my dear if I were you« replied Mrs Nickleby in a
lofty manner »because its not by any means becoming and doesnt suit you at
all What I mean to say is that the Mr Cheerybles dont ask us to dinner with
all this ceremony for nothing Never mind wait and see You wont believe
anything I say of course Its much better to wait a great deal better its
satisfactory to all parties and there can be no disputing All I say is
remember what I say now and when I say I said so dont say I didnt«
With this stipulation Mrs Nickleby who was troubled night and day with
a vision of a hot messenger tearing up to the door to announce that Nicholas had
been taken into partnership quitted that branch of the subject and entered
upon a new one
»Its a very extraordinary thing« she said »a most extraordinary thing
that they should have invited Miss La Creevy It quite astonishes me upon my
word it does Of course its very pleasant that she should be invited very
pleasant and I have no doubt that shell conduct herself extremely well she
always does Its very gratifying to think we should have been the means of
introducing her into such society and Im quite glad of it quite rejoiced
for she certainly is an exceedingly wellbehaved and goodnatured little person
I could wish that some friend would mention to her how very badly she has her
cap trimmed and what very preposterous bows those are but of course thats
impossible and if she likes to make a fright of herself no doubt she has a
perfect right to do so We never see ourselves never do and never did and I
suppose we never shall«
This moral reflection reminding her of the necessity of being peculiarly
smart on the occasion so as to counterbalance Miss La Creevy and be herself an
effectual setoff and atonement led Mrs Nickleby into a consultation with her
daughter relative to certain ribands gloves and trimmings which being a
complicated question and one of paramount importance soon routed the previous
one and put it to flight
The great day arriving the good lady put herself under Kates hands an hour
or so after breakfast and dressing by easy stages completed her toilet in
sufficient time to allow of her daughters making hers which was very simple
and not very long though so satisfactory that she had never appeared more
charming or looked more lovely Miss La Creevy too arrived with two bandboxes
whereof the bottoms fell out as they were handed from the coach and something
in a newspaper which a gentleman had sat upon coming down and which was
obliged to be ironed again before it was fit for service At last everybody
was dressed including Nicholas who had come home to fetch them and they went
away in a coach sent by the Brothers for the purpose Mrs Nickleby wondering
very much what they would have for dinner and crossexamining Nicholas as to
the extent of his discoveries in the morning whether he had smelt anything
cooking at all like turtle and if not what he had smelt and diversifying the
conversation with reminiscences of dinners to which she had gone some twenty
years ago concerning which she particularised not only the dishes but the
guests in whom her hearers did not feel a very absorbing interest as not one
of them had ever chanced to hear their names before
The old butler received them with profound respect and many smiles and
ushered them into the drawingroom where they were received by the Brothers
with so much cordiality and kindness that Mrs Nickleby was quite in a flutter
and had scarcely presence of mind enough even to patronise Miss La Creevy Kate
was still more affected by the reception for knowing that the Brothers were
acquainted with all that had passed between her and Frank she felt her position
a most delicate and trying one and was trembling on the arm of Nicholas when
Mr Charles took her in his and led her to another part of the room
»Have you seen Madeline my dear« he said »since she left your house«
»No sir« replied Kate »Not once«
»And not heard from her eh Not heard from her«
»I have only had one letter« rejoined Kate gently »I thought she would
not have forgotten me quite so soon«
»Ah« said the old man patting her on the head and speaking as
affectionately as if she had been his favourite child »Poor dear what do you
think of this brother Ned Madeline has only written to her once only once
Ned and she didnt think she would have forgotten her quite so soon Ned«
»Oh sad sad very sad« said Ned
The Brothers interchanged a glance and looking at Kate for a little time
without speaking shook hands and nodded as if they were congratulating each
other on something very delightful
»Well well« said brother Charles »go into that room my dear that door
yonder and see if theres not a letter for you from her I think theres one
upon the table You neednt hurry back my love if there is for we dont dine
just yet and theres plenty of time Plenty of time«
Kate retired as she was directed Brother Charles having followed her
graceful figure with his eyes turned to Mrs Nickleby and said
»We took the liberty of naming one hour before the real dinnertime maam
because we had a little business to speak about which would occupy the
interval Ned my dear fellow will you mention what we agreed upon Mr
Nickleby sir have the goodness to follow me«
Without any further explanation Mrs Nickleby Miss La Creevy and brother
Ned were left alone together and Nicholas followed brother Charles into his
private room where to his great astonishment he encountered Frank whom he
supposed to be abroad
»Young men« said Mr Cheeryble »shake hands«
»I need no bidding to do that« said Nicholas extending his
»Nor I« rejoined Frank as he clasped it heartily
The old gentleman thought that two handsomer or finer young fellows could
scarcely stand side by side than those to whom he looked with so much pleasure
Suffering his eyes to rest upon them for a short time in silence he said
while he seated himself at his desk
»I wish to see you friends close and firm friends and if I thought you
otherwise I should hesitate in what I am about to say Frank look here Mr
Nickleby will you come on the other side«
The young men stepped up on either hand of brother Charles who produced a
paper from his desk and unfolded it
»This« he said »is a copy of the will of Madelines maternal grandfather
bequeathing her the sum of twelve thousand pounds payable either upon her
coming of age or marrying It would appear that this gentleman angry with her
his only relation because she would not put herself under his protection and
detach herself from the society of her father in compliance with his repeated
overtures made a will leaving this property which was all he possessed to a
charitable institution He would seem to have repented this determination
however for three weeks afterwards and in the same month he executed this
By some fraud it was abstracted immediately after his decease and the other
the only will found was proved and administered Friendly negotiations which
have only just now terminated have been proceeding since this instrument came
into our hands and as there is no doubt of its authenticity and the witnesses
have been discovered after some trouble the money has been refunded Madeline
has therefore obtained her right and is or will be when either of the
contingencies which I have mentioned has arisen mistress of this fortune You
understand me«
Frank replied in the affirmative Nicholas who could not trust himself to
speak lest his voice should be heard to falter bowed his head
»Now Frank« said the old gentleman »you were the immediate means of
recovering this deed The fortune is but a small one but we love Madeline and
such as it is we would rather see you allied to her with that than to any
other girl we know who has three times the money Will you become a suitor to
her for her hand«
»No sir I interested myself in the recovery of that instrument believing
that her hand was already pledged to one who has a thousand times the claims
upon her gratitude and if I mistake not upon her heart that I or any other
man can ever urge In this it seems I judged hastily«
»As you always do sir« cried brother Charles utterly forgetting his
assumed dignity »as you always do How dare you think Frank that we would
have you marry for money when youth beauty and every amiable virtue and
excellence were to be had for love How dared you Frank go and make love to
Mr Nicklebys sister without telling us first what you meant to do and
letting us speak for you«
»I hardly dared to hope «
»You hardly dared to hope Then so much the greater reason for having our
assistance Mr Nickleby sir Frank although he judged hastily judged for
once correctly Madelines heart is occupied Give me your hand sir it is
occupied by you and worthily and naturally This fortune is destined to be
yours but you have a greater fortune in her sir than you would have in money
were it forty times told She chooses you Mr Nickleby She chooses as we her
dearest friends would have her choose Frank chooses as we would have him
choose He should have your sisters little hand sir if she had refused it a
score of times ay he should and he shall You acted nobly not knowing our
sentiments but now you know them sir you must do as you are bid What You
are the children of a worthy gentleman The time was sir when my dear brother
Ned and I were two poor simplehearted boys wandering almost barefoot to seek
our fortunes are we changed in anything but years and worldly circumstances
since that time No God forbid Oh Ned Ned Ned what a happy day this is for
you and me If our poor mother had only lived to see us now Ned how proud it
would have made her dear heart at last«
Thus apostrophised brother Ned who had entered with Mrs Nickleby and who
had been before unobserved by the young men darted forward and fairly hugged
brother Charles in his arms
»Bring in my little Kate« said the latter after a short silence »Bring
her in Ned Let me see Kate let me kiss her I have a right to do so now I
was very near it when she first came I have often been very near it Ah Did
you find the letter my bird Did you find Madeline herself waiting for you and
expecting you Did you find that she had not quite forgotten her friend and
nurse and sweet companion Why this is almost the best of all«
»Come come« said Ned »Frank will be jealous and we shall have some
cutting of throats before dinner«
»Then let him take her away Ned let him take her away Madelines in the
next room Let all the lovers get out of the way and talk among themselves if
theyve anything to say Turn em out Ned every one«
Brother Charles began the clearance by leading the blushing girl to the
door and dismissing her with a kiss Frank was not very slow to follow and
Nicholas had disappeared first of all So there only remained Mrs Nickleby and
Miss La Creevy who were both sobbing heartily the two brothers and Tim
Linkinwater who now came in to shake hands with everybody his round face all
radiant and beaming with smiles
»Well Tim Linkinwater sir« said brother Charles who was always
spokesman »now the young folks are happy sir«
»You didnt keep em in suspense as long as you said you would though«
returned Tim archly »Why Mr Nickleby and Mr Frank were to have been in your
room for I dont know how long and I dont know what you werent to have told
them before you came out with the truth«
»Now did you ever know such a villain as this Ned« said the old
gentleman »did you ever know such a villain as Tim Linkinwater He accusing me
of being impatient and he the very man who has been wearying us morning noon
and night and torturing us for leave to go and tell em what was in store
before our plans were half complete or we had arranged a single thing A
treacherous dog«
»So he is brother Charles« returned Ned »Tim is a treacherous dog Tim is
not to be trusted Tim is a wild young fellow He wants gravity and steadiness
he must sow his wild oats and then perhaps hell become in time a respectable
member of society«
This being one of the standing jokes between the old fellows and Tim they
all three laughed very heartily and might have laughed much longer but that
the Brothers seeing that Mrs Nickleby was labouring to express her feelings
and was really overwhelmed by the happiness of the time took her between them
and led her from the room under pretence of having to consult her on some most
important arrangements
Now Tim and Miss La Creevy had met very often and had always been very
chatty and pleasant together had always been great friends and consequently
it was the most natural thing in the world that Tim finding that she still
sobbed should endeavour to console her As Miss La Creevy sat on a large
oldfashioned windowseat where there was ample room for two it was also
natural that Tim should sit down beside her and as to Tims being unusually
spruce and particular in his attire that day why it was a high festival and a
great occasion and that was the most natural thing of all
Tim sat down beside Miss La Creevy and crossing one leg over the other so
that his foot he had very comely feet and happened to be wearing the neatest
shoes and black silk stockings possible should come easily within the range of
her eye said in a soothing way
»Dont cry«
»I must« rejoined Miss La Creevy
»No dont« said Tim »Please dont pray dont«
»I am so happy« sobbed the little woman
»Then laugh« said Tim »Do laugh«
What in the world Tim was doing with his arm it is impossible to
conjecture but he knocked his elbow against that part of the window which was
quite on the other side of Miss La Creevy and it is clear that it could have no
business there
»Do laugh« said Tim »or Ill cry«
»Why should you cry« asked Miss La Creevy smiling
»Because Im happy too« said Tim »We are both happy and I should like to
do as you do«
Surely there never was a man who fidgeted as Tim must have done then for
he knocked the window again almost in the same place and Miss La Creevy said
she was sure hed break it
»I knew« said Tim »that you would be pleased with this scene«
»It was very thoughtful and kind to remember me« returned Miss La Creevy
»Nothing could have delighted me half so much«
Why on earth should Miss La Creevy and Tim Linkinwater have said all this in
a whisper It was no secret And why should Tim Linkinwater have looked so hard
at Miss La Creevy and why should Miss La Creevy have looked so hard at the
ground
»Its a pleasant thing« said Tim »to people like us who have passed all
our lives in the world alone to see young folks that we are fond of brought
together with so many years of happiness before them«
»Ah« cried the little woman with all her heart »That it is«
»Although« pursued Tim »although it makes one feel quite solitary and cast
away Now dont it«
Miss La Creevy said she didnt know And why should she say she didnt know
Because she must have known whether it did or not
»Its almost enough to make us get married after all isnt it« said Tim
»Oh nonsense« replied Miss La Creevy laughing »We are too old«
»Not a bit« said Tim »we are too old to be single Why shouldnt we both
be married instead of sitting through the long winter evenings by our solitary
firesides Why shouldnt we make one fireside of it and marry each other«
»Oh Mr Linkinwater youre joking«
»No no Im not Im not indeed« said Tim »I will if you will Do my
dear«
»It would make people laugh so«
»Let em laugh« cried Tim stoutly »we have good tempers I know and well
laugh too Why what hearty laughs we have had since weve known each other«
»So we have« cried Miss La Creevy giving way a little as Tim thought
»It has been the happiest time in all my life at least away from the
countinghouse and Cheeryble Brothers« said Tim »Do my dear Now say you
will«
»No no we mustnt think of it« returned Miss La Creevy »What would the
Brothers say«
»Why God bless your soul« cried Tim innocently »you dont suppose I
should think of such a thing without their knowing it Why they left us here on
purpose«
»I can never look em in the face again« exclaimed Miss La Creevy faintly
»Come« said Tim »Lets be a comfortable couple We shall live in the old
house here where I have been for fourandforty year we shall go to the old
church where Ive been every Sunday morning all through that time we shall
have all my old friends about us Dick the archway the pump the flowerpots
and Mr Franks children and Mr Nicklebys children that we shall seem like
grandfather and grandmother to Lets be a comfortable couple and take care of
each other And if we should get deaf or lame or blind or bedridden how
glad we shall be that we have somebody we are fond of always to talk to and sit
with Lets be a comfortable couple Now do my dear«
Five minutes after this honest and straightforward speech little Miss La
Creevy and Tim were talking as pleasantly as if they had been married for a
score of years and had never once quarrelled all the time and five minutes
after that when Miss La Creevy had bustled out to see if her eyes were red and
to put her hair to rights Tim moved with a stately step towards the
drawingroom exclaiming as he went »There ant such another woman in all
London I know there ant«
By this time the apoplectic butler was nearly in fits in consequence of
the unheardof postponement of dinner Nicholas who had been engaged in a
manner in which every reader may imagine for himself or herself was hurrying
down stairs in obedience to his angry summons when he encountered a new
surprise
On his way down he overtook in one of the passages a stranger genteelly
dressed in black who was also moving towards the diningroom As he was rather
lame and walked slowly Nicholas lingered behind and was following him step by
step wondering who he was when he suddenly turned round and caught him by both
hands
»Newman Noggs« cried Nicholas joyfully
»Ah Newman your own Newman your own old faithful Newman My dear boy my
dear Nick I give you joy health happiness every blessing I cant bear it
its too much my dear boy it makes a child of me«
»Where have you been« said Nicholas »what have you been doing How often
have I inquired for you and been told that I should hear before long«
»I know I know« returned Newman »They wanted all the happiness to come
together Ive been helping em I I look at me Nick look at me«
»You would never let me do that« said Nicholas in a tone of gentle
reproach
»I didnt mind what I was then I shouldnt have had the heart to put on
gentlemans clothes They would have reminded me of old times and made me
miserable I am another man now Nick My dear boy I cant speak Dont say
anything to me Dont think the worse of me for these tears You dont know what
I feel today you cant and never will«
They walked in to dinner arminarm and sat down side by side
Never was such a dinner as that since the world began There was the
superannuated bank clerk Tim Linkinwaters friend and there was the chubby old
lady Tim Linkinwaters sister and there was so much attention from Tim
Linkinwaters sister to Miss La Creevy and there were so many jokes from the
superannuated bank clerk and Tim Linkinwater himself was in such tiptop
spirits and little Miss La Creevy was in such a comical state that of
themselves they would have composed the pleasantest party conceivable Then
there were Mrs Nickleby so grand and complacent Madeline and Kate so
blushing and beautiful Nicholas and Frank so devoted and proud and all four
so silently and tremblingly happy there was Newman so subdued yet so overjoyed
and there were the twin Brothers so delighted and interchanging such looks that
the old servant stood transfixed behind his masters chair and felt his eyes
grow dim as they wandered round the table
When the first novelty of the meeting had worn off and they began truly to
feel how happy they were the conversation became more general, and the harmony
and pleasure if possible increased The Brothers were in a perfect ecstasy and
their insisting on saluting the ladies all round before they would permit them
to retire gave occasion to the superannuated bank clerk to say so many good
things that he quite outshone himself and was looked upon as a prodigy of
humour
»Kate my dear« said Mrs Nickleby taking her daughter aside as soon as
they got up stairs »you dont really mean to tell me that this is actually true
about Miss La Creevy and Mr Linkinwater«
»Indeed it is mama«
»Why I never heard such a thing in my life« exclaimed Mrs Nickleby
»Mr Linkinwater is a most excellent creature« reasoned Kate »and for his
age quite young still«
»For his age my dear« returned Mrs Nickleby »Yes nobody says anything
against him except that I think he is the weakest and most foolish man I ever
knew Its her age I speak of That he should have gone and offered himself to a
woman who must be ah half as old again as I am and that she should have
dared to accept him It dont signify Kate Im disgusted with her«
Shaking her head very emphatically indeed Mrs Nickleby swept away and all
the evening in the midst of the merriment and enjoyment that ensued and in
which with that exception she freely participated conducted herself towards
Miss La Creevy in a stately and distant manner designed to mark her sense of
the impropriety of her conduct and to signify her extreme and cutting
disapprobation of the misdemeanour she had so flagrantly committed
Chapter LXIV
An Old Acquaintance Is Recognised Under Melancholy Circumstances and Dotheboys
Hall Breaks Up for Ever
Nicholas was one of those whose joy is incomplete unless it is shared by the
friends of adverse and less fortunate days Surrounded by every fascination of
love and hope his warm heart yearned towards plain John Browdie He remembered
their first meeting with a smile and their second with a tear saw poor Smike
once again with the bundle on his shoulder trudging patiently by his side and
heard the honest Yorkshiremans rough words of encouragement as he left them on
their road to London
Madeline and he sat down very many times jointly to produce a letter which
should acquaint John at full length with his altered fortunes and assure him of
his friendship and gratitude It so happened however that the letter could
never be written Although they applied themselves to it with the best
intentions in the world it chanced that they always fell to talking about
something else and when Nicholas tried it by himself he found it impossible to
write one half of what he wished to say or to pen anything indeed which on
reperusal did not appear cold and unsatisfactory compared with what he had in
his mind At last after going on thus from day to day and reproaching himself
more and more he resolved the more readily as Madeline strongly urged him to
make a hasty trip into Yorkshire and present himself before Mr and Mrs
Browdie without a word of notice
Thus it was that between seven and eight oclock one evening he and Kate
found themselves in the Saracens Head bookingoffice securing a place to Greta
Bridge by the next mornings coach They had to go westward to procure some
little necessaries for his journey and as it was a fine night they agreed to
walk there and ride home
The place they had just been in called up so many recollections and Kate
had so many anecdotes of Madeline and Nicholas so many anecdotes of Frank and
each was so interested in what the other said and both were so happy and
confiding and had so much to talk about that it was not until they had plunged
for a full half hour into that labyrinth of streets which lies between Seven
Dials and Soho without emerging into any large thoroughfare that Nicholas
began to think it just possible they might have lost their way
The possibility was soon converted into a certainty for on looking about
and walking first to one end of the street and then to the other he could find
no landmark he could recognise and was fain to turn back again in quest of some
place at which he could seek a direction
It was a bystreet and there was nobody about or in the few wretched shops
they passed Making towards a faint gleam of light which streamed across the
pavement from a cellar Nicholas was about to descend two or three steps so as
to render himself visible to those below and make his inquiry when he was
arrested by a loud noise of scolding in a womans voice
»Oh come away« said Kate »They are quarrelling Youll be hurt«
»Wait one instant Kate Let us hear if theres anything the matter«
returned her brother »Hush«
»You nasty idle vicious goodfornothing brute« cried the woman
stamping on the ground »why dont you turn the mangle«
»So I am my life and soul« replied a mans voice »I am always turning I
am perpetually turning like a demd old horse in a demnition mill My life is
one demd horrid grind«
»Then why dont you go and list for a soldier« retorted the woman »youre
welcome to«
»For a soldier« cried the man »For a soldier Would his joy and gladness
see him in a coarse red coat with a little tail Would she hear of his being
slapped and beat by drummers demnebly Would she have him fire off real guns
and have his hair cut and his whiskers shaved and his eyes turned right and
left and his trousers pipeclayed«
»Dear Nicholas« whispered Kate »you dont know who that is Its Mr
Mantalini I am confident«
»Do make sure Peep at him while I ask the way« said Nicholas »Come down a
step or two Come«
Drawing her after him Nicholas crept down the steps and looked into a small
boarded cellar There amidst clothesbaskets and clothes stripped to his
shirtsleeves but wearing still an old patched pair of pantaloons of
superlative make a once brilliant waistcoat and moustache and whiskers as of
yore but lacking their lustrous dye there endeavouring to mollify the wrath
of a buxom female not the lawful Madame Mantalini but the proprietress of the
concern and grinding meanwhile as if for very life at the mangle whose
creaking noise mingled with her shrill tones appeared almost to deafen him
there was the graceful elegant fascinating and once dashing Mantalini
»Oh you false traitor« cried the lady threatening personal violence on Mr
Mantalinis face
»False Oh dem Now my soul my gentle captivating bewitching and most
demnebly enslaving chickabiddy be calm« said Mr Mantalini humbly
»I wont« screamed the woman »Ill tear your eyes out«
»Oh What a demd savage lamb« cried Mr Mantalini
»Youre never to be trusted« screamed the woman »you were out all day
yesterday and gallivanting somewhere I know You know you were Isnt it enough
that I paid two pound fourteen for you and took you out of prison and let you
live here like a gentleman but must you go on like this breaking my heart
besides«
»I will never break its heart I will be a good boy and never do so any
more I will never be naughty again I beg its little pardon« said Mr
Mantalini dropping the handle of the mangle and folding his palms together
»it is all up with its handsome friend He has gone to the demnition bowwows
It will have pity It will not scratch and claw but pet and comfort Oh
demmit«
Very little affected to judge from her action by this tender appeal the
lady was on the point of returning some angry reply when Nicholas raising his
voice asked his way to Piccadilly
Mr Mantalini turned round caught sight of Kate and without another word
leapt at one bound into a bed which stood behind the door and drew the
counterpane over his face kicking meanwhile convulsively
»Demmit« he cried in a suffocating voice »its little Nickleby Shut the
door put out the candle turn me up in the bedstead Oh dem dem dem«
The woman looked first at Nicholas and then at Mr Mantalini as if
uncertain on whom to visit this extraordinary behaviour but Mr Mantalini
happening by ill luck to thrust his nose from under the bedclothes in his
anxiety to ascertain whether the visitors were gone she suddenly and with a
dexterity which could only have been acquired by long practice flung a pretty
heavy clothesbasket at him with so good an aim that he kicked more violently
than before though without venturing to make any effort to disengage his head
which was quite extinguished Thinking this a favourable opportunity for
departing before any of the torrent of her wrath discharged itself upon him
Nicholas hurried Kate off and left the unfortunate subject of this unexpected
recognition to explain his conduct as he best could
The next morning he began his journey It was now cold winter weather
forcibly recalling to his mind under what circumstances he had first travelled
that road and how many vicissitudes and changes he had since undergone He was
alone inside the greater part of the way and sometimes when he had fallen
into a doze and rousing himself looked out of the window and recognised some
place which he well remembered as having passed either on his journey down or
in the long walk back with poor Smike he could hardly believe but that all
which had since happened had been a dream and that they were still plodding
wearily on towards London with the world before them
To render these recollections the more vivid it came on to snow as night
set in and passing through Stamford and Grantham and by the little alehouse
where he had heard the story of the bold Baron of Grogzwig everything looked as
if he had seen it but yesterday and not even a flake of the white crust on the
roofs had melted away Encouraging the train of ideas which flocked upon him he
could almost persuade himself that he sat again outside the coach with Squeers
and the boys that he heard their voices in the air and that he felt again but
with a mingled sensation of pain and pleasure now the old sinking of the heart
and longing after home While he was yet yielding himself up to these fancies he
fell asleep and dreaming of Madeline forgot them
He slept at the inn at Greta Bridge on the night of his arrival and
rising at a very early hour next morning walked to the market town and
inquired for John Browdies house John lived in the outskirts now he was a
family man and as everybody knew him Nicholas had no difficulty in finding a
boy who undertook to guide him to his residence
Dismissing his guide at the gate and in his impatience not even stopping to
admire the thriving look of cottage or garden either Nicholas made his way to
the kitchen door and knocked lustily with his stick
»Halloa« cried a voice inside »Waat be the matther noo Be the toon
afire Ding but thou makst noise eneaf«
With these words John Browdie opened the door himself and opening his eyes
too to their utmost width cried as he clapped his hands together and burst
into a hearty roar
»Ecod it be the godfeyther it be the godfeyther Tilly here be Misther
Nickleby Gi us thee hond mun Coom awa coom awa In wi un doon beside
the fire tak a soop o thot Dinnot say a word till thoust droonk it a Oop
wi it mun Ding but Im reeght glod to see thee«
Adapting his action to his text John dragged Nicholas into the kitchen
forced him down upon a huge settle beside a blazing fire poured out from an
enormous bottle about a quarter of a pint of spirits thrust it into his hand
opened his mouth and threw back his head as a sign to him to drink it instantly
and stood with a broad grin of welcome overspreading his great red face like a
jolly giant
»I might ha knowad« said John »that nobody but thou would ha coom wi
sike a knock as yon Thot was the wa thou knocked at schoolmeasthers door eh
Ha ha ha But I say waat be a this aboot schoolmeasther«
»You know it then« said Nicholas
»They were talking aboot it doon toon last neeght« replied John »but
neane on em seemed quite to unerstan it loike«
»After various shiftings and delays« said Nicholas »he has been sentenced
to be transported for seven years for being in the unlawful possession of a
stolen will and after that he has to suffer the consequence of a conspiracy«
»Whew« cried John »a conspiracy Soomat in the pooder plot wa Eh Soomat
in the Guy Faux line«
»No no no a conspiracy connected with his school Ill explain it
presently«
»Thots reeght« said John »explain it arter breakfast not noo for thou
beest hoongry and so am I and Tilly she mun be at the bottom o a
explanations for she says thots the mutual confidence Ha ha ha Ecod its a
room start is the mutual confidence«
The entrance of Mrs Browdie with a smart cap on and very many apologies
for their having been detected in the act of breakfasting in the kitchen
stopped John in his discussion of this grave subject and hastened the
breakfast which being composed of vast mounds of toast newlaid eggs boiled
ham Yorkshire pie and other cold substantials of which heavy relays were
constantly appearing from another kitchen under the direction of a very plump
servant was admirably adapted to the cold bleak morning and received the
utmost justice from all parties At last it came to a close and the fire which
had been lighted in the best parlour having by this time burnt up they
adjourned thither to hear what Nicholas had to tell
Nicholas told them all and never was there a story which awakened so many
emotions in the breasts of two eager listeners At one time honest John groaned
in sympathy and at another roared with joy at one time he vowed to go up to
London on purpose to get a sight of the Brothers Cheeryble at another swore
that Tim Linkinwater should receive such a ham by coach and carriage free as
mortal knife had never carved When Nicholas began to describe Madeline he sat
with his mouth wide open nudging Mrs Browdie from time to time and exclaiming
under his breath that she must be raather a tidy sart and when he heard at
last that his young friend had come down purposely to communicate his good
fortune and to convey to him all those assurances of friendship which he could
not state with sufficient warmth in writing that the only object of his
journey was to share his happiness with them and to tell them that when he was
married they must come up to see him and that Madeline insisted on it as well
as he John could hold out no longer but after looking indignantly at his
wife and demanding to know what she was whimpering for drew his coatsleeve
over his eyes and blubbered outright
»Tellee waat though« said John seriously when a great deal had been said
on both sides »to return to schoolmeasther If this news aboot un has reached
school today the old ooman weant have a whole boan in her boddy nor Fanny
neither«
»Oh John« cried Mrs Browdie
»Ah and Oh John agean« replied the Yorkshireman »I dinnot know what they
lads mightnt do When it first got aboot that schoolmeasther was in trouble
some feythers and moothers sent and took their young chaps awa If them as is
left should know waats coom tivun therell be sike a revolution and rebel
Ding But I think theyll a gang daft and spill bluid like wather«
In fact John Browdies apprehensions were so strong that he determined to
ride over to the school without delay and invited Nicholas to accompany him
which however he declined pleading that his presence might perhaps aggravate
the bitterness of their adversity
»Thots true« said John »I should neer ha thought o thot«
»I must return tomorrow« said Nicholas »but I mean to dine with you
today and if Mrs Browdie can give me a bed «
»Bed« cried John »I wish thou couldst sleep in fower beds at once Ecod
thou shouldst have em a Bide till I coom back ony bide till I coom back
and ecod well make a day of it«
Giving his wife a hearty kiss and Nicholas a no less hearty shake of the
hand John mounted his horse and rode off leaving Mrs Browdie to apply herself
to hospitable preparations and his young friend to stroll about the
neighbourhood and revisit spots which were rendered familiar to him by many a
miserable association
John cantered away and arriving at Dotheboys Hall tied his horse to a gate
and made his way to the schoolroom door which he found locked on the inside A
tremendous noise and riot arose from within and applying his eye to a
convenient crevice in the wall he did not remain long in ignorance of its
meaning
The news of Mr Squeerss downfall had reached Dotheboys that was quite
clear To all appearance it had very recently become known to the young
gentlemen for rebellion had just broken out
It was one of the brimstoneandtreacle mornings and Mrs Squeers had
entered school according to custom with the large bowl and spoon followed by
Miss Squeers and the amiable Wackford who during his fathers absence had
taken upon himself such minor branches of the executive as kicking the pupils
with his nailed boots pulling the hair of some of the smaller boys pinching
the others in aggravating places and rendering himself in various similar ways
a great comfort and happiness to his mother Their entrance whether by
premeditation or a simultaneous impulse was the signal of revolt While one
detachment rushed to the door and locked it and another mounted the desks and
forms the stoutest and consequently the newest boy seized the cane and
confronting Mrs Squeers with a stern countenance snatched off her cap and
beaverbonnet put it on his own head armed himself with the wooden spoon and
bade her on pain of death go down upon her knees and take a dose directly
Before that estimable lady could recover herself or offer the slightest
retaliation she was forced into a kneeling posture by a crowd of shouting
tormentors and compelled to swallow a spoonful of the odious mixture rendered
more than usually savoury by the immersion in the bowl of Master Wackfords
head whose ducking was entrusted to another rebel The success of this first
achievement prompted the malicious crowd whose faces were clustered together in
every variety of lank and halfstarved ugliness to further acts of outrage The
leader was insisting upon Mrs Squeers repeating her dose Master Squeers was
undergoing another dip in the treacle and a violent assault had been commenced
on Miss Squeers when John Browdie bursting open the door with a vigorous kick
rushed to the rescue The shouts screams groans hoots and clapping of hands
suddenly ceased and a dead silence ensued
»Ye be noice chaps« said John looking steadily round »Waats to do here
thou yoong dogs«
»Squeers is in prison and we are going to run away« cried a score of
shrill voices »We wont stop we wont stop«
»Weel then dinnot stop« replied John »who waants thee to stop Roon awa
loike men but dinnot hurt the women«
»Hurrah« cried the shrill voices more shrilly still
»Hurrah« repeated John »Weel hurrah loike men too Noo then look out
Hip hip hip hurrah«
»Hurrah« cried the voices
»Hurrah Agean« said John »Looder still«
The boys obeyed
»Anoother« said John »Dinnot be afeared on it Lets have a good un«
»Hurrah«
»Noo then« said John »lets have yan more to end wi and then coot off as
quick as you loike Tak a good breath noo Squeers be in jail the schools
brokken oop its a ower past and gane think o thot and let it be a
hearty un Hurrah«
Such a cheer arose as the walls of Dotheboys Hall had never echoed before
and were destined never to respond to again When the sound had died away the
school was empty and of the busy noisy crowd which had peopled it but five
minutes before not one remained
»Very well Mr Browdie« said Miss Squeers hot and flushed from the recent
encounter but vixenish to the last »youve been and excited our boys to run
away Now see if we dont pay you out for that sir If my pa is unfortunate and
trod down by henemies were not going to be basely crowed and conquered over by
you and Tilda«
»Noa« replied John bluntly »thou beant Tak thy oath o thot Think
betther o us Fanny I tell ee both that Im glod the auld man has been
caught out at last domd glod but yell sooffer eneaf wiout any crowin
fra me and I be not the mun to crow nor be Tilly the lass so I tell ee
flat More than thot I tell ee noo that if thou needst friends to help thee
awa from this place dinnot turn up thy nose Fanny thou mayst thoult
foind Tilly and I wi a thout o old times aboot us ready to lend thee a hond
And when I say thot dinnot think I be asheamed of waat Ive deane for I say
agean Hurrah And dom the schoolmeasther There«
His parting words concluded John Browdie strode heavily out remounted his
nag put him once more into a smart canter and carolling lustily forth some
fragments of an old song to which the horses hoofs rang a merry accompaniment
sped back to his pretty wife and to Nicholas
For some days afterwards the neighbouring country was overrun with boys
who the report went had been secretly furnished by Mr and Mrs Browdie not
only with a hearty meal of bread and meat but with sundry shillings and
sixpences to help them on their way To this rumour John always returned a stout
denial which he accompanied however with a lurking grin that rendered the
suspicious doubtful and fully confirmed all previous believers
There were a few timid young children who miserable as they had been and
many as were the tears they had shed in the wretched school still knew no other
home and had formed for it a sort of attachment which made them weep when the
bolder spirits fled and cling to it as a refuge Of these some were found
crying under hedges and in such places frightened by the solitude One had a
dead bird in a little cage he had wandered nearly twenty miles and when his
poor favourite died lost courage and lay down beside him Another was
discovered in a yard hard by the school sleeping with a dog who bit at those
who came to remove him and licked the sleeping childs pale face
They were taken back and some other stragglers were recovered but by
degrees they were claimed or lost again and in course of time Dotheboys Hall
and its last breaking up began to be forgotten by the neighbours or to be only
spoken of as among the things that had been
Chapter LXV
Conclusion
When her term of mourning had expired Madeline gave her hand and fortune to
Nicholas and on the same day and at the same time Kate became Mrs Frank
Cheeryble It was expected that Tim Linkinwater and Miss La Creevy would have
made a third couple on the occasion but they declined Two or three weeks
afterwards they went out together one morning before breakfast and coming back
with merry faces were found to have been quietly married that day
The money which Nicholas acquired in right of his wife he invested in the
firm of Cheeryble Brothers in which Frank had become a partner Before many
years elapsed the business began to be carried on in the names of Cheeryble and
Nickleby so that Mrs Nicklebys prophetic anticipations were realised at last
The twin brothers retired Who needs to be told that they were happy They
were surrounded by happiness of their own creation and lived but to increase
it
Tim Linkinwater condescended after much entreaty and browbeating to
accept a share in the house but he could never be prevailed upon to suffer the
publication of his name as a partner and always persisted in the punctual and
regular discharge of his clerkly duties
He and his wife lived in the old house and occupied the very bedchamber in
which he had slept for fourandforty years As his wife grew older she became
even a more cheerful and lighthearted little creature and it was a common
saying among their friends that it was impossible to say which looked the
happier Tim as he sat calmly smiling in his elbowchair on one side of the
fire or his brisk little wife chatting and laughing and constantly bustling in
and out of hers on the other
Dick the blackbird was removed from the countinghouse and promoted to a
warm corner in the common sittingroom Beneath his cage hung two miniatures of
Mrs Linkinwaters execution one representing herself the other Tim and both
smiling very hard at all beholders Tims head being powdered like a twelfth
cake and his spectacles copied with great nicety strangers detected a close
resemblance to him at the first glance and this leading them to suspect that
the other must be his wife and emboldening them to say so without scruple Mrs
Linkinwater grew very proud of these achievements in time and considered them
among the most successful likenesses she had ever painted Tim had the
profoundest faith in them likewise for on this as on all other subjects they
held but one opinion and if ever there were a comfortable couple in the world
it was Mr and Mrs Linkinwater
Ralph having died intestate and having no relations but those with whom he
had lived in such enmity they would have become in legal course his heirs But
they could not bear the thought of growing rich on money so acquired and felt
as though they could never hope to prosper with it They made no claim to his
wealth And the riches for which he had toiled all his days and burdened his
soul with so many evil deeds were swept at last into the coffers of the state
and no man was the better or the happier for them
Arthur Gride was tried for the unlawful possession of the will which he had
either procured to be stolen or had dishonestly acquired and retained by other
means as bad By dint of an ingenious counsel and a legal flaw he escaped but
only to undergo a worse punishment for some years afterwards his house was
broken open in the night by robbers tempted by the rumours of his great wealth
and he was found murdered in his bed
Mrs Sliderskew went beyond the seas at nearly the same time as Mr Squeers
and in the course of nature never returned Brooker died penitent Sir Mulberry
Hawk lived abroad for some years courted and caressed and in high repute as a
fine dashing fellow Ultimately returning to this country he was thrown into
jail for debt and there perished miserably as such high spirits generally do
The first act of Nicholas when he became a rich and prosperous merchant
was to buy his fathers old house As time crept on and there came gradually
about him a group of lovely children it was altered and enlarged but none of
the old rooms were ever pulled down no old tree was ever rooted up nothing
with which there was any association of bygone times was ever removed or
changed
Within a stonesthrow was another retreat enlivened by childrens pleasant
voices too and here was Kate with many new cares and occupations and many new
faces courting her sweet smile and one so like her own that to her mother she
seemed a child again the same true gentle creature the same fond sister the
same in the love of all about her as in her girlish days
Mrs Nickleby lived sometimes with her daughter and sometimes with her
son accompanying one or other of them to London at those periods when the cares
of business obliged both families to reside there and always preserving a great
appearance of dignity and relating her experiences especially on points
connected with the management and bringingup of children with much solemnity
and importance It was a very long time before she could be induced to receive
Mrs Linkinwater into favour and it is even doubtful whether she ever
thoroughly forgave her
There was one greyhaired quiet harmless gentleman who winter and summer
lived in a little cottage hard by Nicholass house and when he was not there
assumed the superintendence of affairs His chief pleasure and delight was in
the children with whom he was a child himself and master of the revels The
little people could do nothing without dear Newman Noggs
The grass was green above the dead boys grave and trodden by feet so small
and light that not a daisy drooped its head beneath their pressure Through all
the spring and summertime garlands of fresh flowers wreathed by infant hands
rested on the stone and when the children came there to change them lest they
should wither and be pleasant to him no longer their eyes filled with tears
and they spoke low and softly of their poor dead cousin