PREFACE
THE Editor of the following Letters takes Leave to observe that he has now in this Publication completed the Plan that was the Object of his Wishes rather than of his Hopes to accomplish
How such remarkable Collections of private Letters fell into his Hands he hopes the Reader will not think it very necessary to enquire
The first Collection intitled PAMELA exhibited the Beauty and Superiority of Virtue in an Innocent and unpolished Mind with the Reward which often even in this Life a protecting Providence bestows on Goodness A young Woman of low Degree relating to
her honest Parents the severe Trials she met with from a Master who ought to have been the Protector not the Assailer of her Honour shews the Character of a Libertine in its truly contemptible Light This Libertine however from the Foundation of good Principles laid in his early Years by an excellent Mother by his Passion for a virtuous young Woman and by her amiable Example and unwearied Patience when she became his Wife is after a Length of Time perfectly reclaimed
The second Collection published under the Title of CLARISSA displayed a more melancholy Scene A young Lady of higher Fortune and born to happier Hopes is seen involved in such Variety of deep Distresses as lead her to an untimely Death affording a Warning to Parents against forcing the Inclinations of their Children in the most important Article of their Lives and to Children against hoping too far from the fairest Assurances of a Man void of Principle The Heroine however as a truly Christian Heroine proves superior to her Trials and her Heart always excellent refined and exalted by every one of them rejoices in the Approach of a happy Eternity Her cruel Destroyer appears wretched and disappointed even in the boasted Success
of his vile Machinations But still buoyed up with Selfconceit and vain Presumption he goes on after every short Fit of imperfect yet terrifying Conviction hardening himself more and more till unreclaimed by the most affecting Warnings and repeated Admonitions he perishes miserably in the Bloom of Life and sinks into the Grave oppressed with Guilt Remorse and Horror His Letters it is hoped afford many useful Lessons to the gay Part of Mankind against that Misuse of Wit and Youth of Rank and Fortune and of every outward Accomplishment which turns them into a Curse to the miserable Possessor as well as to all around them
Here the Editor apprehended he should be obliged to stop by reason of his precarious State of Health and a Variety of Avocations which claimed his first Attention But it was insisted on by several of his Friends who were well assured he had the Materials in his Power that he should produce into public View the Character and Actions of a Man of TRUE HONOUR
He has been enabled to obey these his Friends and to complete his first Design And now therefore presents to the Public in Sir
CHARLES GRANDISON the Example of a Man acting uniformly well thro a Variety of trying Scenes because all his Actions are regulated by one steady Principle A Man of Religion and Virtue of Liveliness and Spirit accomplished and agreeable happy in himself and a Blessing to others
From what has been premised it may be supposed that the present Collection is not published ultimately nor even principally any more than the other two for the Sake of Entertainment only A much nobler End is in View Yet it is hoped the Variety of Characters and Conversations necessarily introduced into so large a Correspondence as these Volumes contain will enliven as well as instruct The rather as the principal Correspondents are young Ladies of polite Education and of lively Spirits
The Nature of familiar Letters written as it were to the Moment while the Heart is agitated by Hopes and Fears on Events undecided must plead an Excuse for the Bulk of a Collection of this Kind Mere Facts and Characters might be comprised in a much smaller Compass But would they be equally interesting It happens fortunately that an Account
of the juvenile Years of the principal Person is narratively given in some of the Letters As many however as could be spared have been omitted There is not one Episode in the Whole nor after Sir CHARLES GRANDISON is introduced one Letter inserted but what tends to illustrate the principal Design Those which precede his Introduction will not it is hoped be judged unnecessary on the Whole as they tend to make the Reader acquainted with Persons the History of whom is closely interwoven with that of Sir Charles
N B This Edition is reprinted from Mr Richardsons Octavo Edition which has many Corrections not in his small Edition
Miss LUCY SELBY To Miss HARRIET BYRON
AshbyCanonsJanuary 10
YOUR resolution to accompany Mrs Reeves to London has greatly alarmed your three Lovers And two of them at least will let you know that it has Such a lovely girl as my Harriet must expect to be more accountable for her steps than one less excellent and less attractive
Mr Greville in his usual resolute way threatens to follow you to London and there he says he will watch the motions of every man who approaches you and if he find reason for it will early let such man know his pretensions and the danger he may run into if he pretend to be his competitor But let me not do him injustice though he talks of a rival thus harshly he speaks of you more highly than man ever spoke of woman Angel and Goddess are phrases you have been used to from him and tho spoken in
his humorous way yet I am sure he most sincerely admires you
Mr Fenwick in a less determined manner declares that he will follow you to town if you stay there above one fortnight
The gentle Orme sighs his apprehensions and wishes you would change your purpose Tho hopeless he says it is some pleasure to him that he can think himself in the same county with you and much more that he can tread in your footsteps to and from church every Sunday and behold you there He wonders how your grandmamma your aunt your uncle can spare you Your cousin Reevess surely he says are very happy in their influences over us all
Each of the gentlemen is afraid that by increasing the number of your admirers you will increase his difficulties But what is that to them I asked when they already know that you are not inclined to favour any of the three
If you hold your resolution and my cousin Reevess their time of setting out pray let me know and I will attend you at my uncle Selbys to wish you a good journey much pleasure in town and a return with a safe and sound heart My sister who poor dear girl continues extremely weak and low will spare me for a purpose so indispensable I will not have you come to us I know it would grieve you to see her in the way she is in You too much take to heart the infirmities of your friends which you cannot cure and as your grandmamma lives upon your smiles and you rejoice all your friends by your chearfulness it would be cruel to make you sad
MR GREVILLE has just left us He dropt in upon us as we were going to dinner My grandmother Selby you know is always pleased with his rattling She prevailed on him to alight and sit down with us All his talk was of you He repeated his
former threatenings as I called them to him on your going to town After dinner he read us a Letter from Lady Frampton relating to you He read us also some passages from the copy of his answer with design I believe that I should ask him to leave it behind him He is a vain creature you know and seemed fond of what he had written I did ask him He pretended to make a scruple of your seeing it but it was a faint one However he called for pen and ink and when it was brought him scratched over two passages and that with so many little flourishes as you will see that he thought they could not be read But the ink I furnished him with happening to be paler than his you will find he was not cunning enough I promised to return it
Send me a line by the bearer to tell me if your resolution holds as to the day
Adieu my dearest Harriet May angels protect and guide you whithersoever you go
LUCY SELBY
NorthamptonJanuary 6
YOUR Ladyship demands a description of the Person of the celebrated Miss Byron in our neighbourhood and to know whether as report tells you Love has listed me in the number of her particular admirers—Particular admirers you well distinguish since every one who beholds her admires her
Your Ladyship confines your enquiries to her Person you tell me and you own that women are much more solicitous about the beauties of that than of the Mind. Perhaps it may be so and that their envy is much sooner excited by the one than by the others
But who madam can describe the person of Miss Harriet Byron and her person only animated as every feature is by a mind that bespeaks all human excellence and dignifies her in every Air in every Look in every Motion
No man living has a greater passion for beauty than I have Till I knew Miss Byron I was one of those who regarded nothing else in the Sex Indeed I considered all intellectual attainments as either useless or impertinent in women Your Ladyship knows what were my free notions on this head and has rebuked me for them A wise and learned Lady I considered as a very unnatural character I wanted women to be all Love and nothing else A very little Prudence allowd I to enter into their composition just enough to distinguish the Man of Sense from the Fool and that for my own sake You know I have vanity madam But lovely as Miss Byrons person is I defy the greatest Sensualist on earth not to admire her mind more than her person What a triumph would the devil have as I have often thought when I have stood contemplating her perfections especially at church were he able to raise up a man that could lower this Angel into Woman—Pardon me—Your Ladyship knows my mad way of saying every thing that rises to my thoughts
Sweetness of temper must make plain featuresglow What an effect must it then have upon fine ones Never was there a sweetertemperd woman Indeed from Sixteen to Twenty all the Sex kept in humour by their hopes and by their attractions are said to be goodtemperd but she is remarkably so She is just turned of Twenty but looks not more than Seventeen Her beauty hardly yet in its full blow will last longer I imagine than in an earlier blossom Yet the prudence visible in her whole aspect gave her a distinction even at Twelve that promised what she would be at a riper age
Yet with all this reigning goodnature visible in her face and manner there is such a native dignity in all she says in all she does tho mingled with a frankness that shews her minds superiority to the minds of almost all other women that it damps and suppresses in the most audacious all imaginations of bold familiarity
I know not by my soul how she does this neither But so it is She jests she rallies But I cannot rally her again Love it is said dignifies the adored object Perhaps it is that which awes me
And now will your Ladyship doubt of an affirmative answer to your second question Whether Love has listed me in the number of her particular admirers
He has And the devil take me if I can help myself And yet I have no encouragement—Nor any body else thats my consolation Fenwick is deeper in if possible than I We had at our first acquaintance as you have heard a tiltingbout on the occasion But are sworn friends now each having agreed to try his fortune by patience and perseverance and being assured that the one has no more of her favour to boast of than the other a
We have indeed blustered away between us half a scorce more of her admirers Poor whining Orme however perseveres But of him we make no account He has a watry head and tho he finds a way by his sister who visits at Mr Selbys and is much esteemed there to let Miss Byron know his passion for her notwithstanding the negative he has received yet doubt we not that she is safe from a flame that he will quench with his tears before it can rise to an head to disturb us
You Ladies love men should whine after you But never yet did I find that where a blustering fellow was a competitor the Lady married the milksop
But let me in this particular do Miss Byron justice How she manages it I cant tell but she is courteous to all nor could ever any man charge her either with pride or cruelty All I fear is that she has such an equality in her temper that she can hardly find room in her heart for a particular Love Nor will till she meets with one whose mind is near as faultless as her own and the general tenor of whose life and actions calls upon her discretion to give her leave to love
This apprehension I owe to a conversation I had with her grandmother Shirley a Lady that is an ornament to old age and who hinted to me that her granddaughter had exceptions both to Fenwick and me on the score of a few indulgences that perhaps have been too public but which all men of fashion and spirit give themselves and all women but this allow of or hate not men the worse for But then what is her objection to Orme He is a sober dog
She was but eight years old when her mother died She also was an excellent woman Her death was brought on by grief for that of her husband which happened but six months before—A rare instance
The grandmother and aunt to whom the girl is dutiful to a proverb will not interfere with her choice If they are applied to for their interest the answer is constantly this The approbation of their Harriet must first be gained and then their consent is ready
There is a Mr Deane a man of an excellent character for a Lawyer but indeed he left off practice on coming into possession of an handsome estate He was the girls godfather He is allowed to have great influence over them all Harriet calls him papa
To him I have applied But his answer is the very same His daughter Harriet must choose for herself All motions of this kind must come first from her
And ought I to despair of succeeding with the girl herself I her Greville not contemptible in person in air—free and easy at least having a good estate in possession fine expectances besides dressing well singing well dancing well and blest with a moderate share of confidence which makes other women think me a clever fellow She a girl of twenty her fortune between ten and fifteen thousand pounds only for her fathers considerable estate on his demise for want of male heirs went with the name Her grandmothers jointure not more than 500l a year—And what though her uncle Selby has no children and loves her yet has he nephews and nieces of his own whom he also loves for this Harriet is his wifes niece
I will not despair If resolution if perseverance will do and if she be a woman she shall be mine—And so I have told her aunt Selby and her uncle too and so I have told Miss Lucy Selby her cousin as she calls her who is highly and deservedly in her favour and so indeed have I more than once told the girl herself
But now to the description of her person—Let me die if I know where to begin She is all over loveliness Does not every body else who has seen her tell you so Her Stature shall I begin with her stature She cannot be said to be tall but yet is something above the middling Her Shape—But what care I for her shape I who hope to love her still more tho possession may make me admire her less when she has not that to boast of We young fellows who have been abroad are above regarding English shapes and prefer to them the French negligence By the way I think the foreign Ladies in the right that they aim not at what they cannot attain Whether
we are so much in the right to come into their taste is another thing But be this as it will there is so much ease and dignity in the person in the dress and in every air and motion of Miss Harriet Byron that fine shapes will ever be in fashion where she is be either native or foreigner the judge
Her complexion is admirably fair and clear I have sat admiring her complexion till I have imagined I have seen the lifeblood slowing with equal course thro her translucent veins
Her Forehead so nobly free and open shews dignity and modesty and strikes into one a kind of awe singly contemplated that from the delight which accompanies the awe I know not how to describe Every single feature in short will bear the nicest examination and her whole Face and her Neck so admirably set on her finelyproportioned Shoulders—let me perish if taking all together I do not hold her to be the most unexceptionable beauty I ever beheld But what still is her particular Excellence and distinguishes her from all other English women for it must be acknowleged to be a characteristic of the French women of quality is the grace which that people call Physiognomy and we may call Expression Had not her seatures and her complexion been so fine as they are that grace alone that Soul shining out in her lovely aspect joined with the ease and gracefulness of her Motion would have made her as many admirers as beholders
After this shall I descend to a more particular description—I will
Her Cheek—I never saw a cheek so beautifully turnd illustrated as it is by a charming Carmine flush which denotes sound health A most bewitching dimple takes place in each when she smiles and she has so much reason to be pleased with herself and with all about her for she is the idol of her relations that I believe from infancy she never frowned
nor can a frown it is my opinion sit upon her face for a minute Would to heaven I were considerable enough with her to prove the contrary
Her Mouth—There never was so lovely a mouth But no wonder since such rosy Lips and such ivory and even Teeth must give beauty to a mouth less charming than hers
Her Nose adds dignity to her other features Her Chin is sweetly turned and almost imperceptibly dimpled
Her Eyes—Ay madam her Eyes—Good Heaven what a lustre yet not a fierce but a mild lustre How have I despised the romancing Poets for their unnatural descriptions of the Eyes of their heroines But I have thought those descriptions tho absurd enough in conscience less absurd allowing something for poetical licence ever since I beheld those of Miss Harriet Byron
Her Hair is a real and unlaboured ornament to her All natural its curls Art has no share in the lustre it gives to her other beauties
I mentioned her Neck—Here I dare not trust myself—Inimitable creature Allattracting loveliness
Her Arm—Your Ladyship knows my passion for a delicate Arm—By my Soul madam your own does not exceed it
Her Hands are extremely fine Such Fingers And they accustomed to the Pen to the Needle to the Harpsichord excelling in all—O madam women have Souls I am now convinced they have I dare own to your Ladyship that once I doubted it on a supposition that they were given us for temporary purposes only—And have I not seen her dance Have I not heard her sing—But indeed mind and person she is all harmony
Then for Reading for acquired knowledge what Lady so young—But you know the character of her grandfather Shirley He was a man of universal
learning and from his public employments abroad as polite as learned This Girl from Seven years of age when he came to settle in England to Fourteen when she lost him was his delight and her education and instruction the amusement of his vacant hours This is the Period he used to say in which the foundations of all female goodness are to be laid since so soon after Fourteen they leap into women
The dead languages he aimed not to teach her lest he should overload her young mind But in the Italian and French he made her an adept
Nor were the advantages common ones which she received from his Lady her grandmother and from her aunt Selby her fathers sister a woman of equal worthiness Her grandmother particularly is one of the most pious yet most chearful of women She will not permit her daughter Byron she says to live with her for both their sakes—For the Girls sake because there is a greater resort of company at Mr Selbys than at ShirleyManor and she is afraid as her grandchild has a serious turn that her own contemplative life may make her more grave than she wishes so young a woman to be Youth she says is the season for chearfulness—For her own sake Because she looks upon her Harriets company as a cordial too rich to be always at hand and when she has a mind to regale she will either send for her fetch her or visit her at Mrs Selbys One of her Letters to Mrs Selby I once saw It ran thus—
You must spare me my Harriet I am in pain My spirits are not high I would not have the undecayd mind yield for want of using the means to the decaying body One happy day with our child the true child of the united minds of her late excellent parents will I hope effect the cure If it do not you must spare her to me two
Did I not tell you madam that it was very difficult to describe the Person only of this admirable young
Lady—But I stop here An horrid apprehension comes across me How do I know but I am praising another mans future wife and not my own Here is a cousin of hers a Mrs Reeves a fine Lady from London come down under the cursed influence of my evil stars to carry this Harriet away with her into the gay world Woman Woman—I beg your Ladyships pardon but what Angel of Twenty is proof against vanity The first hour she appears she will be a Toast Stars and Titles will croud about her and who knows how far a paltry coronet may dazle her who deserves an imperial crown But woe to the man whoever he be whose pretensions dare to interfere and have any assurance of success with those of
Your Lady•hips Most obedient and faithful Servant JOHN GREVILLE
Selby HouseJan 16
I Return you inclosed my Lucy Mr Grevilles strange Letter As you asked him for it he will have no doubt but you shewed it to me It is better therefore if he make enquiry whether you did or not to own it In this case he will be curious to know my sentiments upon it He is sensible that my whole heart is open to you
Tell him if you think proper in so many words that I am far more displeased with him for his impetuosity than gratified by his flattery
Tell him that I think it very hard that when my nearest relations leave me so generously to my liberty a man to whom I never gave cause to treat me with disrespect should take upon himself to threaten and controul me
Ask him What are his pretences for following me to London or elsewhere
If I had not had reasons before to avoid a more than neighbourly civility to him he has now furnished me with very strong ones The threatening Lover must certainly make a tyrant Husband Dont you think so Lucy—But make not supposals of Lover or Husband to him These bold men will turn shadows into substance, in their own favour
A woman who is so much exalted above what she can deserve has reason to be terrified were she to marry the complimenter even could she suppose him so blinded by his passion as not to be absolutely insincere to think of the height she must fall from in his opinion when she has put it into his power to treat her but as what she is
Indeed I both despise and fear a very high complimenter—Despise him for his designing flattery supposing him not to believe himself or if he mean what he says for his injudiciousness I fear him lest he should as in the former case he must hope be able to raise a vanity in me that would sink me beneath his meanness and give him cause to triumph over my folly at the very time that I am full of my own wisdom
Highstraind compliments in short always pull me down always make me shrink into myself Have I not some vanity to guard against I have no doubt but Mr Greville wished I should see this Letter And this gives me some little indignation against myself for does it not look as if from some faults in my conduct Mr Greville had formed hopes of succeeding by treating me like a fool
I hope these gentlemen will not follow me to town as they threaten If they do I will not see them if I can any way avoid it Yet for me to appear to them solicitous on this head or to desire them not to go will be in some measure to lay myself under an obligation to
their acquiescence It is not therefore for me to hope to influence them in this matter since they expect too much in return for it from me and since they will be ready to found a merit in their passion even for disobliging me
I cannot bear however to think of their dangling after me whereever I go These men my dear were we to give them importance with us would be greater infringers of our natural freedom than the most severe Parents and for their own sakes Whereas Parents if ever so despotic if not unnatural ones indeed mean solely our good tho headstrong girls do not always think so Yet such even such can be teazed out of their wills at least out of their duty by the men who stile themselves Lovers when they are invincible to all the entreaties and commands of their Parents
O that the next eight or ten years of my life if I find not in the interim a man on whom my whole undivided heart can fix were happily over As happily as the last alike important four years To be able to look down from the elevation of thirty years my principles fixd and to have no capital folly to reproach myself with what an happiness would that be
My Cousin Reevess time of setting out holds the indulgence of my dearest Friends continues and my resolution holds But I will see my Nancy before I set out What shall I enter upon a party of pleasure and leave in my heart room to reflect in the midst of it that there is a dear suffering friend who had reason to think I was afraid of giving myself pain when I might by the balm of true love and friendly soothings administer comfort to her wounded heart—No my Lucy believe me if I have not generosity enough I have selfishness enough to make me avoid a sting so severe as this would be to
Your HARRIET BYRON
GrosvenorStreetTuesday Jan 24
WE are just arrived We had a very agreeable journey
I need not tell you that Mr Greville and Mr Fenwick attended us to our first baiting and had a genteel dinner ready provided for us The gentlemen will tell you this and all particulars
They both renewed their menaces of following me to London if I stayd above one month They were so good as to stretch their fortnight to a month
Mr Fenwick in very pathetic terms as he found an opportunity to engage me alone for a few minutes besought me to love him Mr Greville was as earnest with me to declare that I hated him Such a declaration he said was all he at present wished for It was strange he told me that he neither could prevail on me to encourage his Love nor to declare my Hatred He is a whimsical creature
I rallied him with my usual freedom and told him that if there was one person in the world that I was capable of hating I could make the less scruple to oblige him He thankd me for that
The two gentlemen would fain have proceeded farther But as they are never out of their way I dare say they would have gone to London and there have dangled on till we should not have got rid of them for my whole time of being in town
I was very gravely earnest with them to leave us when we stept into the coach in order to proceed Fenwick you dog said Mr Greville we must return Miss Byron looks grave Gravity and a rising colour in the finest face in the world indicates as much as the frowns of other Beauties And in the most respectful manner they both took leave of me
insisting however on my hand and that I would wish them well
I gave each my hand I wish you very well gentlemen said I And I am obliged to your civility in seeing me so far on my journey Especially as you are so kind as to leave me here
Why dear Madam did you not spare your Especially said Mr Greville—Come Fenwick let us retire and lay our two loggerheads together and live over again the past hour and then hang ourselves
Poor Mr Orme The coach at our first setting out passed by his Parkgate you know There was he—on the very ridge of the highway I saw him not till it was near him He bowed to the very ground with such an air of disconsolateness—Poor Mr Orme—I wishd to have said one word to him when we had passed him But the coach flew—Why did the coach fly—But I waved my hand and leaned out of the coach as far as I could and bowed to him
O Miss Byron said Mrs Reeves so said Mr Reeves Mr Orme is the happy man Did I think as you do said I I should not be so desirous to have spoken to him But methinks I should have been glad to have once said Adieu Mr Orme for Mr Orme is a good man
But Lucy my heart was softened at parting with my dear relations and friends and when the heart is softened light impressions will go deep
My cousins house is suitable to their fortune Very handsome and furnished in taste Mrs Reeves knowing well what a scribbler I am and am expected to be has provided me with pen ink and paper in abundance She readily allowed me to take early possession of my apartment that I might pay punctual obedience to the commands of all my friends on setting out These you know were to write in the
first hour of my arrival And it was allowed to be to you my dear But writing thus early what can have occurred
My apartment is extremely elegant A wellfurnishd bookcase is however to me the most attracting ornament in it—Pardon me dear Pen and Ink I must not prefer any thing to you by whose means I hope to spend some part of every day at SelbyHouse and even at this distance amuse with my prattle those friends that are always so partial to it
And now my dear my revered grandmamma I ask your blessing—Yours my everindulgent aunt Selby—And yours my honoured and equally beloved uncle Selby Who knows but you will now in absence take less delight in teazing your everdutiful Harriet But yet I unbespeak not my monitor
Continue to love me my Lucy as I shall endeavour to deserve your Love And let me know how our dear Nancy does
My heart bleeds for her I should have held myself utterly inexcusable had I accepted of your kindlyintended dispensation and come to town for three whole months without repeating to her by word of mouth my Love and my sympathising concern for her What merit does her patience add to her other merits How has her calamity endeared her to me If ever I shall be heavily afflicted God give me her amiable her almost meritorious patience in sufferings
To my cousin Holless and all my other Relations Friends Companions make the affectionate compliments of
Your HARRIET BYRON
Jan 25
YOU rejoice me my dear in the hopes which you tell me Dr Mitchell from London gives
you in relation to our Nancy May our incessant prayers for the restoration of her health be answered
Three things my aunt Selby and you in the name of every one of my friends enjoined me at parting The first To write often very often were your words This injunction was not needful My heart is with you and the good news you give me of my grandmammas health and of our Nancy enlarges that heart The second to give you a description of the persons and characters of the people I am likely to be conversant with in this great town And thirdly Besides the general account which you all expected from me of the visits I made and received you enjoined me to accquaint you with the very beginnings of every address and even of every silent and respectful distinction were your words that the girl whom you all so greatly favour might receive on this excursion to town
Dont you remember what my uncle Selby answerd to this—I do And will repeat it to shew that his correcting cautions shall not be forgotten
The vanity of the Sex said he will not suffer any thing of this sort to escape our Harriet Women continued he make themselves so cheap at the public places in and about town that new faces are more enquired after than even fine faces constantly seen Harriet has an honest artless bloom in her cheeks she may attract notice as a novice But wherefore do you fill her head with an expectation of conquests Women added he offer themselves at every public place in rows as at a market Because three or four silly fellows here in the country like people at an auction who raise the price upon each other above its value have bid for her you think she will not be able to set her foot out of doors without increasing the number of her followers
And then my uncle would have it that my head would be unable to bear the consequence which the partiality of my other friends gave me
It is true my Lucy that we young women are too apt to be pleased with the admiration pretended for us by the other Sex But I have always endeavourd to keep down any foolish pride of this sort by such considerations as these That flattery is the vice of men That they seek to raise us in order to lower us and in the end to exalt themselves on the ruins of the pride they either hope to find or inspire That humility as it shines brightest in an high condition best becomes a flattered woman of all women That she who is puffed up by the praises of men on the supposed advantages of person answers their end upon her and seems to own that she thinks it a principal part of hers to be admired by them And what can give more importance to them and less to herself than this For have not women souls as well as men and souls as capable of the noblest attainments as theirs Shall they not therefore be most solicitous to cultivate the beauties of the mind, and to make those of person but of inferior consideration The bloom of beauty holds but a very few years and shall not a woman aim to make herself mistress of those perfections that will dignify her advanced age And then may she be as wise as venerable—as my grandmamma She is an example for us my dear Who is so much respected who is so much beloved both by old and young as my grandmamma Shirley
In pursuance of the second injunction I will now describe some young ladies and gentlemen who paid my cousins their compliments on their arrival in town
Miss Allestree daughter of Sir John Allestree was one She is very pretty and very genteel easy and free I believe I shall love her
Miss Bramber was the second Not so pretty as Miss Allestree but agreeable in her person and air a little too talkative I think
It was one of my grandfathers rules to me Not impertinently to start subjects as if I would make an
ostentation of knowledge; or as if I were fond of indulging a talking humour But frankness and complaisance required he used to say that we women should unlock our bosoms when we were called upon and were expected to give our sentiments upon any subject
Miss Bramber was eager to talk She seemed even when silent to look as if she was studying for something to say altho she had exhausted two or three subjects This charge of volubility I am the rather inclined to fix upon her as neither Mr nor Mrs Reeves took notice to me of it as a thing extraordinary which probably they would have done if she had exceeded her usual way And yet perhaps the joy of seeing her newlyarrived friends might have opened her lips If so your pardon sweet Miss Bramber
Miss Sally her younger sister is very amiable and very modest a little kept down as it seems by the vivacity of her elder sister between whose ages there are about six or seven years So that Miss Bramber seems to regard her sister as one whom she is willing to remember as the girl she was two or three years ago for Miss Sally is not above seventeen
What confirmed me in this was that the younger Lady was a good deal more free when her sister was withdrawn than when she was present and again pursedup her really pretty mouth when she returned And her sister addressed her always by the word Child with an air of eldership while the other called her sister with a look of observance
These were the Ladies
The two gentlemen who came with them were Mr Barnet a nephew of Lady Allestree and Mr Somner
Mr Somner is a young gentleman lately married very affected and very opinionated I told Mrs Reeves after he was gone that I believed he was a dear Lover of his person and she owned he was
Yet had he no great reason for it It is far from extraordinary tho he was very gaily dressed His wife it seems was a young widow of great fortune and till she gave him consequence by falling in love with him he was thought to be a modest good sort of young man one that had not discovered any more perfections in himself than other people beheld in him and this gave her an excuse for liking him But now he is loquacious forward bold thinks meanly of the Sex and what is worse not the higher of the Lady for the preference she has given him
This gentleman took great notice of me and yet in such a way as to have me think that the approbation of so excellent a judge as himself did me no small honour
Mr Barnet is a young man that I imagine will be always young At first I thought him only a fop He affected to say some things that tho trite were sententious and carried with them the air of observation There is some degree of merit in having such a memory as will help a person to repeat and apply other mens wit with some tolerable propriety But when he attempted to walk alone he said things that it was impossible a man of common sense could say I pronounce therefore boldly about him Yet by his outward appearance he may pass for one of your pretty fellows for he dresses very gaily Indeed if he has any taste it is in dress and this he has found out for he talked of little else when he led the talk and boasted of several parts of his What finished him with me was that as often as the conversation seemed to take a serious turn he arose from his seat and hummed an Italian air of which however he knew nothing But the sound of his own voice seemed to please him
This fine gentleman recollected some highflown compliments and applying them to me looked as if he expected I should value myself upon them
No wonder that men in general think meanly of
us women if they believe we have ears to hear and folly to be pleased with the frothy things that pass under the name of compliments from such randomshooters as these
Miss Stevens paid us a visit this afternoon She is daughter of Colonel Stevens a very worthy man She appears sensible and unaffected has read my cousin says a good deal and yet takes no pride in shewing it
Miss Darlington came with her They are related
This young Lady has I find a pretty taste in poetry Mrs Reeves prevailed on her to shew us three of her performances And now as it was with some reluctance that she shewed them is it fair to say any thing about them I say it only to you my friend—One was on the parting of two Lovers very sensible and so tender that it shewed the fair writer knew how to describe the pangs that may be innocently allowed to arise on such an occasion—One on the Morningdawn and Sunrise a subject that gave credit to herself for she is it seems a very early riser I petitioned for a copy of this for the sake of two or three of my dear cousins as well as to confirm my own practice but I was modestly refused—The third was on the death of a favourite Linnet a little too pathetic for the occasion since were Miss Darlington to have lost her best and dearest friend I imagine that she had in this piece which is pretty long exhausted the subject and must borrow from it some of the images which she introduces to heighten her distress for the loss of the little songster It is a very difficult matter I believe for young persons of genius to reinin their imaginations A great flow of spirits and great store of images crouding in upon them carry them too frequently above their subject and they are apt rather to say all that may be said on their favourite topics than what is proper to be said But it is a pretty piece however
Thursday Morning
Lady Betty Williams supped with us the same evening She is an agreeable woman the widow of a very worthy man a near relation of Mr Reeves She has a great and just regard for my cousin and consults him in all affairs of importance She seems to be turned of Forty has a son and a daughter but they are both abroad for education
It hurt me to hear her declare that she cared not for the trouble of education and that she had this pleasure which girls brought up at home seldom give their mothers that she and Miss Williams always saw each other and always parted as Lovers
Surely there must be some fault either in the temper of the mother or in the behaviour of the daughter and if so I doubt it will not be amended by seeing each other but seldom Do not Lovers thus cheat and impose upon one another?
The young gentleman is about Seventeen his sister about Fifteen And as I understand she is a very lively and tis feared a forward girl shall we wonder if in a few years time she should make such a choice for her husband as Lady Betty would least of all choose for a soninlaw What influence can a mother expect to have over a daughter from whom she so voluntarily estranges herself and from whose example the daughter can receive only hearsay benefits
But after all methinks I hear my correcting uncle ask May not Lady Betty have better reasons for her conduct in this particular than she gave you—She may my uncle and I hope she has But I wish she had condescended to give those better reasons since she gave any and then you had not been troubled with the impertinent remarks of your saucy kinswoman
Lady Betty was so kind as to take great notice of me She desired to be one in every party of pleasure that I am to be engaged in Persons who were often
at publick places she observed took as much delight in accompanying strangers to them as if they were their own The apt comparisons she said the new remarks the pretty wonder the agreeable passions excited in such on the occasion always gave her high entertainment And she was sure from the observation of such a young Lady civilly bowing to me she should be equally delighted and improved I bowed in silence I love not to make disqualifying speeches by such we seem to intimate that we believe the complimenter to be in earnest or perhaps that we think the compliment our due and want to hear it either repeated or confirmed and yet possibly we have not that pretty confusion and those transient blushes ready which Mr Greville archly says are always to be at hand when we affect to disclaim the praises given us
Lady Betty was so good as to stop there tho the muscles of her agreeable face shewed a polite promptitude had I by disclaiming her compliments provoked them to perform their office
Am I not a saucy creature
I know I am But I dislike not Lady Betty for all that
I am to be carried by her to a Masquerade to a Ridotto when the season comes to Ranelagh and Vauxhall In the mean time to Balls Routes Drums and soforth and to qualify me for these latter I am to be taught all the fashionable games Did my dear grandmamma twenty or thirty years ago think she should live to be told That to the Dancingmaster the Singing or Musicmaster the high mode would require the Gamingmaster to be added for the completing of the female education
Lady Betty will kindly take the lead in all these diversions
And now Lucy will you not repeat your wishes that I return to you with a sound heart And are you not afraid that I shall become a modern fine Lady As
to the latter fear I will tell you when you shall suspect me—If you find that I prefer the highest of these entertainments or the Opera itself well as I love music to a good Play of our favourite Shakespeare then my Lucy let your heart ake for your Harriet Then be apprehensive that she is laid hold on by levity that she is captivated by the Eye and the Ear that her heart is infected by the modern taste and that she will carry down with her an appetite to pernicious gaming and in order to support her extravagance will think of punishing some honest man in marriage
James has signified to Sally his wishes to be allowed to return to Selbyhouse I have not therefore bought him the new liveries I designed for him on coming to town I cannot bear an unchearful brow in a servant and he owning to me on my talking with him his desire to return I have promised that he shall as soon as Mr Reeves has provided me with another servant—Silly fellow But I hope my aunt will not dismiss him upon it The servant I may hire may not care to go into the country perhaps or may not so behave as that I should choose to take him down with me And James is honest and his mother would break her heart if he should be dismissed our service
Several servants have already offered themselves but as I think people are answerable for the character of such as they choose for their domestics I find no small difficulty in fixing I am not of the mind of that great man whose goodnaturd reason for sometimes preferring men noways deserving was that he loved to be a friend to those whom no other person would befriend This was carrying his goodness very far if he made it not an excuse for himself for haveing promoted a man who proved bad afterwards rather than as supposing him to be so at the time since else he seemed not to consider that every bad man he promoted ran away with the reward due to a better
Mr and Mrs Reeves are so kind to me and their servants are so ready to oblige me that I shall not be very uneasy If I cannot soon get one to my mind Only if I could fix on such a one and if my grandmammas Oliver should leave her as she supposes he will now he has married Ellen as soon as a good Inn offers James may supply Olivers place and the new servant may continue mine instead of James
And now that I have gone so low dont you wish me to put an end to this Letter—I believe you do
Well then with Duty and Love ever remembred where so justly due believe me to be my dear Lucy
Your truly affectionate HARRIET BYRON
I will write separately to what you say of Mr Greville Mr Fenwick and Miss Orme yet hope to be time enough for the post
Sat Jan 28
AS to what you say of Mr Grevilles concern on my absence and I think with a little too much feeling for him and of his declaring himself unable to live without seeing me I have but one fear about it which is that he is forming a pretence from his Violent Love to come up after me And if he does I will not see him if I can help it
And do you indeed believe him to be so much in Love By your seriousness on the occasion you seem to think he is O my Lucy What a good heart you have And did he not weep when he told you so Did he not turn his head away and pull out his handkerchief—O these dissemblers The hyaena my dear was a male devourer The men in malice and to extenuate their own guilt made the creature
a female And yet there may be male and female of this species of monsters But as women have more to lose with regard to reputation than men the male hyaena must be infinitely the more dangerous creature of the two since he will come to us even into our very houses fawning cringing weeping licking our hands while the den of the female is by the highwayside and wretched youths must enter into it to put it in her power to devour them
Let me tell you my dear that if there be an artful man in England with regard to us women artful equally in his free speaking and in his sycophancies Mr Greville is the man And he intends to be so too and values himself upon his art Does he not as boldly as constantly insinuate That flattery is dearer to a woman than her food Yet who so gross a flatterer as himself when the humour is upon him And yet at times he wants to build up a merit for sincerity or plaindealing by saying free things
It is not difficult my dear to find out these men were we earnest to detect them Their chief strength lies in our weakness But however weak we are I think we should not add to the triumph of those who make our weakness the general subject of their satire We should not prove the justice of their ridicule by our own indiscretions But the traitor is within us If we guard against ourselves we may bid defiance to all the arts of man
You know that my great objection to Mr Greville is for his immoralities A man of free principles shewn by practices as free can hardly make a tender husband were a woman able to get over considerations that she ought not to get over Who shall trust for the performance of his second duties the man who avowedly despises his first Mr Greville had a good education He must have taken pains to render vain the pious precepts of his worthy father and still more to make a jest of them
Three of his women we have heard of besides her whom he brought with him from Wales You know he has only affected to appear decent since he has cast his eyes upon me The man my dear must be an abandoned man and must have a very hard heart who can pass from woman to woman without any remorse for a former whom as may be supposed he has by the most solemn vows seduced And whose leavings is it my dear that a virtuous woman takes who marries a profligate
Is it not reported that his Welshwoman to whom at parting he gave not sufficient for a twelvemonths scanty subsistence is now upon the town Vile man He thinks it to his credit I have heard to own it a seduction and that she was not a vicious creature till he made her so
One only merit has Mr Greville to plead in this black transaction It is That he has by his whole conduct in it added a warning to our Sex And shall I despising the warning marry a man who specious as he is in his temper and lively in his conversation has shewn so bad a nature
His fortune as you say is great The more inexcusable therefore is he for his niggardliness to his Welshwoman On his fortune he presumes It will procure him a too easy forgiveness from others of our Sex But fortune without merit will never do with me were the man a prince
You say that if a woman resolves not to marry till she finds herself addressed to by a man of strict virtue she must be for ever single If this be true what wicked creatures are men What a dreadful abuse of passions given them for the noblest purposes are they guilty of
I have a very high notion of the marriagestate I remember what my uncle once averred That a woman out of wedlock is half useless to the end of her being How indeed do the duties of a good Wife
of a good mother and a worthy matron well performed dignify a woman Let my aunt Selbys example in her enlarged sphere set against that of any single woman of like years moving in her narrow circle testify the truth of the observation My grandfather used to say that families are little communities that there are but few solid friendships out of them and that they help to make up worthily and to secure the great community of which they are so many miniatures
But yet it is my opinion and I hope that I never by my practice shall discredit it that a woman who with her eyes open marries a profligate man had generally much better remain single all her life since it is very likely that by such a step she defeats as to herself all the good ends of society What a dreadful what a presumptuous risque runs she who marries a wicked man even hoping to reclaim him when she cannot be sure of keeping her own principles—Be not deceived evil communication corrupts good manners is a caution truly apostolical
The text you mention of the unbelieving husband being converted by the believing wife respects as I take it the first ages of Christianity and is an instruction to the converted wife to let her unconverted husband see in her behaviour to him while he beheld her chaste conversation coupled with fear the efficacy upon her own heart of the excellent doctrines she had embraced It could not have in view the woman who being single chose a pagan husband in hopes of converting him Nor can it give encourgement for a woman of virtue and religion to marry a profligate in hopes of reclaiming him Who can touch pitch and not be defiled
As to Mr Fenwick I am far from having a better opinion of him than I have of Mr Greville You know what is whispered of him He has more decency however He avows not free principles as the
other does But you must have observed how much he seems to enjoy the mad talk and free sentiments of the other And that other always brightens up and rises in his freedoms and impiety on Mr Fenwicks sty applauses and encouraging countenance In a word Mr Fenwick not having the same lively things to say nor so lively an air to carry them off as Mr Greville has tho he would be thought not to want sense takes pains to shew that he has as corrupt an heart If I thought anger would not give him consequence I should hardly forbear to shew myself displeased when he points by a leering eye and by a broad smile the free jest of the other to the person present whom he thinks most apt to blush as if for fear it should be lost and still more when on the mantling cheeks shewing the sensibility of the person so insulted he breaks out into a loud laugh that she may not be able to recover herself
Surely these men must think us women egregious hypocrites They must believe that we only affect modesty and in our hearts approve of their freedom For can it be supposed that such as call themselves gentlemen and who have had the education and opportunities that these two have had would give themselves liberties of speech on purpose to affront us
I hope I shall find the London gentlemen more polite than these our neighbours of the Foxchace And yet hitherto I have seen no great cause to prefer them to the others But about the Court and at the fashionable public places I expect wonders Pray Heaven I may not be disappointed
Thank Miss Orme in my name for the kind wishes she sends me Tell her that her doubts of my affection for her are not just and that I do really and indeed love her Nor should she want the most explicit declarations of my Love were I not more afraid of her in the character of a Sister to a truly respectable man than doubtful of her in that of a friend to me
In which latter light I even joy to consider her But she is a little naughty tell her because she is always leading to one subject And yet how can I be angry with her for it if her good opinion of me induces her to think it in my power to make the brother happy whom she so dearly and deservedly loves I cannot but esteem her for the part she takes—And this it is that makes me afraid of the artleslyartful Miss Orme
It would look as if I thought my Duty and Love and Respects were questionable if in every Letter I repeated them to my equally honoured and beloved benefactors friends and favourers Suppose them therefore always included in my subscription to you my Lucy when I tell you that I am and will be
Your everaffectionate HARRIET BYRON
SelbyhouseJan 30
WELL and now there wants but a London Lover or two to enter upon the stage and VanityFair will be proclaimed and directly opened Greville everywhere magnifying you in order to justify his flame for you Fenwick exalting you above all women Orme adoring you and by his humble silence saying more than any of them Proposals besides from this man Letters from that What scenes of slattery and nonsense have I been witness to for these past three years and half that young Mr Elford began the dance Single Well may you have remained single till this your twentieth year when you have such choice of admirers that you dont know which to have So in a Mercers shop the tradesman has a fine time with you women when variety of his rich wares distract you and fifty to one at last but
as well in men as silks you choose the worst especially if the best is offered at first and refused For women know better how to be sorry than to amend
It is true say you that we young women are apt to be pleased with admiration—
Oho Are you so And so I have gained one point with you at last have I
But I have always endeavoured And I Harriet wish you had succeeded in your endeavours to keep down any foolish pride
—Then you own that pride you have—Another point gained Conscience honest conscience will nowandthen make you women speak out But now I think of it here is vanity in the very humility Well say you endeavoured when female pride like Love tho hid under a barrel will flame out at the bung
Well said I to your aunt Selby to your grandmamma and to your cousin Lucy when we all met to sit in judgment upon your Letters now I hope youll never dispute with me more on this flagrant love of admiration which I have so often observed swallows up the hearts and souls of you all since your Harriet is not exempt from it and since with all her speciousness with all her prudence with all her caution she taken with a qualm of conscience owns it
But no truly All is right that you say All is right that you do—Your very confessions are brought as so many demonstrations of your diffidence of your ingenuousness and I cannot tell what
Why I must own that no father ever loved his daughter as I love my niece But yet girl your faults your vanities I do not love It is my glory that I think myself able to judge of my friends as they deserve not as being my friends Why the best beloved of my heart your aunt herself—you know I value her now more now less as she deserves But with all those I have named and with all your relations
indeed their Harriet cannot be in fault And why Because you are related to them and because they attribute to themselves some merit from the relation they stand in to you Supererogatorians all of them I will make words whenever I please with their attributions to you and because you are of their Sex forsooth and because I accuse you in a point in which you are all concerned and so make a common cause of it
Here one exalts you for your good sense because you have a knack by help of an happy memory of making every thing you read and every thing that is told you that you like your own your grandfathers precepts particularly and because I think you pass upon us as your own what you have borrowed if not stolen
Another praises you for your goodnature—The duce is in it if a girl who has crouds of admirers after her and a new Lover whereever she shews her bewitching face who is blest with health and spirits and has everybody for her friend let her deserve it or not can be illnaturd Who can such a one have to quarrel with trow
Another extols you for your chearful wit even when displayed bold girl as you are upon your uncle in which indeed you are upheld by the wife of my bosom whenever I take upon me to tell you what ye all even the best of ye are
Yet sometimes they praise your modesty And why your modesty Because you have a skin in a manner transparent and because you can blush—I was going to say whenever you please
At other times they will find out that you have features equally delicate and regular when I think and I have examined them jointly and separately that all your takingness is owing to that open and chearful countenance which gives them a gloss or what shall I call it that we men are apt to be pleased with at first
sight A gloss that takes one as it were by surprize But give me the beauty that grows upon us every time we see it that leaves room for something to be found out to its advantage as we are more and more acquainted with it
Your correcting uncle you call me And so I will be But what hope have I of your amendment when every living soul man woman and child that knows you puffs you up There goes Mr Selby I have heard strangers say—And who is Mr Selby another stranger has askd Why Mr Selby is uncle to the celebrated Miss Byron—Yet I who have lived fifty years in this county should think I might be known on my own account and not as the uncle of a girl of twenty
Am I not a saucy creature in another place you ask And you answer I know I am I am glad you do Now may I call you so by your own authority I hope But with your aunt it is only the effect of your agreeable vivacity What abominable partiality Een do what you will Harriet youll never be in fault I could almost wish—But I wont tell you what I wish neither But something must betide you that you little think of depend upon that All your days cannot be halcyon ones I would give a thousand pounds with all my soul to see you heartily in love Ay up to the very ears and unable to help yourself You are not thirty yet child And indeed you seem to think the time of danger is not over I am glad of your consciousness my dear Shall I tell Greville of your doubts and of your difficulties Harriet As to the ten coming years I mean And shall I tell him of your prayer to pass them safely—But is not this wish of yours that ten years of bloom were overpast and that you were arrived at the thirtieth year of your age a very singular one—A flight A mere flight Ask ninetynine of your Sex out of an hundred if they would adopt it
In another Letter you ask Lucy
If Mr Greville has not said that flattery is dearer to a woman than her food
Well niece and what would you be at Is it not so—I do averr that Mr Greville is a sensible man and makes good observations
Mens chief strength you say lies in the weakness of women
Why so it does Where else should it lie And this from their immeasurable love of admiration and flattery as here you seem to acknowlege of your own accord tho it has been so often perversly disputed with me Give you women but rope enough youll do your own business
However in many places you have pleased me But nowhere more than when you recollect my averrment without contradicting it which is a rarity
that a woman out of wedlock is half useless to the end of her being
Good girl That was an assertion of mine and I will abide by it Lucy simperd when we came to this place and lookd at me She expected I saw my notice upon it so did your aunt But the confession was so frank that I was generous and only said True as the gospel
I have written a long Letter Yet have not said one quarter of what I intended to say when I began You will allow that you have given your correcting Uncle ample subject But you fare something the better for saying you unbespeak not your monitor
You own that you have some vanity Be more free in your acknowlegements of this nature you may for are you not a woman and youll fare something the better for your ingenuouiness and the rather as your acknowlegements will help me up with your aunt and Lucy and your grandmamma in an argument I will not give up
I have had fresh applications made to me—But I will not say from whom Since we have agreed long ago not to prescribe to so discreet a girl as in the main we all think you in the articles of Love and Marriage
With all your faults I must love you I am half ashamed to say how much I miss you already We are all naturally chearful folks Yet I dont know how it is your absence has made a strange chasm at our table Let us hear from you every post That will be something Your doting aunt tells the hours on the day she expects a Letter Your grandmother is at present with us and in heart I am sure regrets your absence But as your tenderness to her has kept you from going to London for so many years she thinks she ought to be easy Her example goes a great way with us all you know and particularly with
Your truly affectionate tho correcting Uncle GEO SELBY
Tuesday Jan 31
I AM already my dear Lucy quite contrary to my own expectation enabled to obey the third general injunction laid upon me at parting by you and all my dear friends since a gentleman not inconsiderable in his family or fortune has already beheld your Harriet with partiality
Not to heighten your impatience by unnecessary parade his name is Fowler He is a young gentleman of an handsome independent fortune and still larger expectations from a Welsh uncle now in town Sir Rowland Meredith knighted in his Sheriffalty on occasion of an address which he brought up to the King from his County
Sir Rowland it seems requires from his Nephew on pain of forfeiting his favour for ever that he marries not without his approbation Which he declares he never will give except the woman be of a good family has a gentlewomans fortune has had the benefit
of a religious education which he considers as the best security that can be given for her good behaviour as a wife and as a mother so forward does the good knight look Her character unsullied Acquainted with the theory of the domestic duties and not ashamed occasionally to enter into the direction of the practic Her fortune however as his nephew will have a good one he declares to be the least thing he stands upon only that he would have her possessed of from six to ten thousand pounds that it may not appear to be a match of mere Love and as if his nephew were taken in as he calls it rather by the eyes than by the understanding. Where a woman can have such a fortune given her by her family tho no greater it will be an earnest he says that the family she is of have worth as he calls it and want not to owe obligations to that of the man she marries
Something particular something that has the look of forecast and prudence youll say in the old knight
O but I had like to have forgot his future niece must also be handsome He values himself it seems upon the breed of his horses and dogs and makes polite comparisons between the more noble and the less noble animals
Sir Rowland himself as you will guess by his particularity is an old bachelor and one who wants to have a woman made on purpose for his nephew and who positively insists upon qualities before he knows her not one of which perhaps his future niece will have
Dont you remember Mr Tolson of Derbyshire He was determined never to marry a widow If he did it should be one who had a vast fortune and who never had a child And he had still a more particular exception and that was to a woman who had red hair He held these exceptions till he was forty and then being looked upon as a determind bachelor no family thought it worth their while to make proposals
to him No woman to throw out a net for him to express myself in the stile of the gay Mr Greville and he at last fell in with and married the laughing Mrs Turner A widow who had little or no fortune had one child a daughter living and that child an absolute idiot and to complete the perverseness of his fate her hair not only red but the most disagreeable of reds The honest man was grown splenetic disregarded by everybody he was become disregardful of himself He hoped for a cure of his gloominess from her chearful vein and seemed to think himself under obligation to one who had taken notice of him when nobody else would Bachelors wives Maids children These old saws always mean something
Mr Fowler saw me at my cousin Reevess the first time I cannot say he is disagreeable in his person But he seems to want the mind I would have a man blessd with to whom I am to vow love and honour I purpose whenever I marry to make a very good and even a dutiful wife Must I not vow obedience And shall I break my marriagevow I would not therefore on any consideration marry a man whose want of knowlege might make me stagger in the performance of my duty to him and who would perhaps command from caprice or want of understanding what I should think unreasonable to be complied with There is a pleasure and a credit in yielding up even ones judgment in things indifferent to a man who is older and wiser than ones self But we are apt to doubt in one of a contrary character what in the other we should have no doubt about And doubt you know of a persons merit is the first step to disrespect And what but disobedience which lets in every evil is the next
I saw instantly that Mr Fowler beheld me with a distinguished regard We women you know Let me for once be aforehand with my uncle are very quick in making discoveries of this nature But everybody
at table saw it He came again next day and besought Mr Reeves to give him his interest with me without asking any questions about my fortune tho he was even generously particular as to his own He might since he has an unexceptionable one Who is it in these cases that forgets to set foremost the advantages by which he is distinguished While fortune is the last thing talkd of by him who has little or none And then Love Love Love is all his cry
Mr Reeves who has a good opinion of Mr Fowler in answer to his enquiries told him that he believed I was disengaged in my affections Mr Fowler rejoiced at that That I had no questions to ask but those of duty which indeed he said was a stronger tie with me than interest He praised my temper and my frankness of heart the latter at the expence of my Sex for which I least thankd him when he told me what he had said In short he acquainted him with everything that was necessary and more than was necessary for him to know of the favour of my family and of my good Mr Deane in referring all proposals of this kind to myself mingling the detail with commendations which only could be excused by the goodness of his own heart and accounted for by his partiality to his cousin
Mr Fowler expressed great apprehensions on my cousins talking of these references of my grandmother aunt and Mr Deane to myself on occasions of this nature which he said he presumed had been too frequent for his hopes
If you have any hope Mr Fowler said Mr Reeves it must be in your good character and that much preferably to your clear estate and great expectations Altho she takes no pride in the number of her admirers yet is it natural to suppose that it has made her more difficult and her difficulties are enhanced in proportion to the generous confidence which all her friends have in her discretion And
when I told him proceeded Mr Reeves that your fortune exceeded greatly what Sir Rowland required in a wife for him and that you had as well from inclination as education a serious turn Too much too much in one person cried he out As to fortune he wishd you had not a shilling and if he could obtain your favour he should be the happiest man in the world
O my good Mr Reeves said I how have you overrated my merits Surely you have not given Mr Fowler your interest If you have should you not for his sake have known something of my mind before you had set me out thus had I even deserved your high opinion or Mr Fowler might have reason to repent the double wellmeant kindness of his friend if men in these days were used to break their hearts for Love
It is the language I do and must talk of you in to everybody returnd Mr Reeves Is it not the language that those most talk who know you best
Where the world is inclined to favour replied I it is apt to overrate as much as it will underrate where it disfavours In this case you should not have proceeded so far as to engage a gentlemans hopes What may be the end of all this but to make a compassionate nature as mine has been thought to be if Mr Fowler should be greatly in earnest uneasy to itself, in being obliged to shew Pity where she cannot return Love
What I have said I have said replied Mr Reeves Pity is but one remove from Love Mrs Reeves There she sits was first brought to pity me for never was man more madly in love than I and then I thought myself sure of her And so it proved I can tell you I am no enemy to Mr Fowler
And so my dear Mr Fowler seems to think he has met with a woman who would make a fit wife for him But your Harriet I doubt has not in Mr
Fowler met with a man whom she can think a fit Husband for her
The very next morning Sir Rowland himself—
But now my Lucy if I proceed to tell you all the fine things that are said of me and to me what will my uncle Selhy say Will he not attribute all I shall repeat of this sort to that pride to that vanity to that sondness of admiration which he as well as Mr Greville is continually charging upon all our Sex
Yet he expects that I shall give a minute account of every thing that passes and of every conversation in which I have any part How shall I do to please him And yet I know I shall best please him if I give him room to find fault with me But then should he for my faults blame the whole Sex Is that just
You will tell me I know that if I give speeches and conversations I ought to give them justly That the humours and characters of persons cannot be known unless I repeat what they say and their manner of saying That I must leave it to the speakers and complimenters to answer for the likeness of the pictures they draw That I know best my own heart and whether I am puffed up by the praises given me That if I am I shall discover it by my superciliousness and be enough punished on the discovery by incurring from those I love deserved blame if not contempt instead of preserving their wishedfor esteem—Let me add to all this that there is an author I forget who who says
It is lawful to repeat those things tho spoken in our praise that are necessary to be known and cannot otherwise be come at
And now let me ask Will this preamble do once for all
It will And so says my aunt Selby And so says every one but my uncle Well then I will proceed and repeat all that shall be said and that as well to my disadvantage as advantage only resolving not to be exalted with the one and to do my endeavour to
amend by the other And here pray tell my uncle that I do not desire he will spare me since the faults he shall find in his Harriet shall always put her upon her guard—Not however to conceal them from his discerning eye but to amend them
And now having as I said once for all prepared you to guard against a surfeit of self-praise tho delivered at second or third hand I will go on with my narrative—But hold—my paper reminds me that I have written a monstrous letter—I will therefore with a new sheet begin a new one Only adding to this that I am and ever will be
Your affectionate HARRIET BYRON
P S Well but what shall I do now—I have just received my uncles Letter And after his charge upon me of Vanity and Pride will my parade as above stand me in any stead—I must trust to it Only one word to my dear and everhonoured uncle—Dont you Sir impute to me a belief of the truth of those extravagant compliments made by men professing Love to me and I will not wish you to think me one bit the wiser the handsomer the better for them than I was before
Thursday Feb 2
THE very next morning Sir Rowland himself paid his respects to Mr Reeves
The knight before he would open himself very freely as to the business he came upon desired that he might have an opportunity to see me I knew nothing of him nor of his business We were just going to breakfast Miss Allestree Miss Bramber and Miss Dolyns a young Lady of merit were with us
Just as we had taken our seats Mr Reeves introduced Sir Rowland but let him not know which was Miss Byron He did nothing at first sitting down but peer in our faces by turns and fixing his eye upon Miss Allestree he jogged Mr Reeves with his elbow—Hay Sir—audibly whispered he
Mr Reeves was silent Sir Rowland who is shortsighted then lookd under his bent brows at Miss Bramber then at Miss Dolyns and then at me—Fay Sir whispered he again
He sat out the first dish of tea with an impatience equal as it seemed to his uncertainty And at last taking Mr Reeves by one of his buttons desired a word with him They withdrew together and the knight not quitting hold of Mr Reevess button Adsmylife Sir said he I hope I am right I love my Nephew as I love myself I live but for him He ever was dutiful to me his uncle If that be Miss Byron who sits on the righthand of your Lady with the countenance of an angel her eyes sparkling with good humour and blooming as a Maymorning the business is done I give my consent Altho I heard not a word pass from her lips I am sure she is all intelligence My boy shall have her The other young Ladies are agreeable But if this be the Lady my kinsman is in Love with he shall have her How will she outshine all our Caermarthen Ladies and yet we have charming girls in Caermarthen—Am I or am I not right Mr Reeves as to my nephews flame as they call it
The Lady you describe Sir Rowland is Miss Byron
And then Mr Reeves in his usual partial manner let his heart overflow at his lips in my favour
Thank God thank God said the knight Let us return Let us go in again I will say something to her to make her speak But not a word to dash her I expect her voice to be music if it be as harmonious
as the rest of her By the softness or harshness of the voice let me tell you Mr Reeves I form a judgment of the heart and soul and manners of a Lady Tis a criterion as they call it of my own and I am hardly ever mistaken Let us go in again I pray ye
They returned and took their seats the knight making an aukward apology for taking my cousin out
Sir Rowland his forehead smoothed and his face shining sat swelling as big with meaning yet not knowing how to begin Mrs Reeves and Miss Allestree were talking at the reentrance of the gentlemen Sir Rowland thought he must say something however distant from his main purpose Breaking silence therefore You Ladies seemed to be deep in discourse when we came in Whatever were your subject I beg you will resume it
They had finished they assured him what they had to say
Sir Rowland seemed still at a loss He hemmd three times and lookd at me with particular kindness Mr Reeves then in pity to his fulness asked him how long he proposed to stay in town
He had thought he said to have set out in a week but something had happened which he believed could not be completed under a fortnight Yet I want to be down said he for I had just finished as I came up the newbuilt house I design to present to my nephew when he marries I pretend plain man as I am to be a judge both of taste and elegance Sir Rowland was now set a going All I wish for is to see him happily settled Ah Ladies that I need not go further than this table for a wife for my boy
We all smiled and lookd upon each other
You young Ladies proceeded he have great advantages in certain cases over us men and this which I little thought of till it came to be my own case
whether we speak for our kindred or for ourselves But will you madam to Mrs Reeves will you Sir to Mr Reeves answer my questions—as to these Ladies—I must have a niece among them My nephew tho I say it is one whom any Lady may love And as for fortune let me alone to make him in addition to his own all clear as the sun worthy of any womans acceptance tho she were a Duchess
We were all silent and smiled upon one another.
What I would ask then is Which of the Ladies before me—Mercy I believe by their smiling and by their pretty looks they are none of them engaged I will begin with the young lady on your righthand She looks so lovely so goodnaturd and so condescending—Mercy what an open forehead—Hem—Forgive me madam but I believe you would not disdain to answer my question yourself—Are you madam are you absolutely and bona fide disengaged or are you not
As this Sir Rowland answerd I is a question I can best resolve I frankly own that I am disengaged
Charming charming—Mercy Why now what a noble frankness in that answer—No jesting matter You may smile Ladies—I hope madam you say true I hope I may rely upon it that your affections are not engaged
You may Sir Rowland I do not love even in jest to be guilty of an untruth
Admirable—But let me tell you madam that I hope you will not many days have this to say Adsmylife sweet soul how I rejoice to see that charming flush in the finest cheek in the world But heaven forbid that I should dash so sweet a creature—Well but now there is no going further Excuse me Ladies I mean not a slight to any of you But now you know there is no going further—And will you madam permit me to introduce to you as a Lover as an humble Servant a very proper and
agreeable young man Let me introduce him He is my nephew Your looks are all graciousness Perhaps you have seen him And if you are really disengaged you can have no objection to him of that I am confident And I am told that you have nobody that either can or will controul you
The more controulable for that very reason Sir Rowland
Adsmylife I like your answer Why madam you must be full as good as you look to be I wish I were a young man myself for your sake But tell me madam will you permit a visit from my nephew this afternoon—Come come dear young lady be as gracious as you look to be Fortune must do Had you not a shilling I should rejoice in such a niece And that is more than I ever said in my life before My nephew is a sober man a modest man He has a good estate of his own A clear 2000 l a year I will add to it in my lifetime as much more Be all this good company witnesses for me I am no flincher It is well known that the word of Sir Rowland Meredith is as good as his bond at all times I love these open doings I love to be aboveboard What signifies shillyshally What says the old proverb
Happys the wooing
That is not long a doing
But Sir Rowland said I there are proverbs that may be set against your proverb You hint that I have seen the gentleman Now I have never yet seen the man whose addresses I could encourage
O I like you the better for that None but the giddy love at first sight Adsmylife you would have been snapt up before now young as you are could you easily have returned love for love Why madam you cannot be above sixteen
O Sir Rowland you are mistaken Chearfulness and a contented mind make a difference to advantage
of half a dozen years at any time I am much nearer twentyone than nineteen I assure you
Nearer to twentyone than nineteen and yet so freely tell your age without asking
Miss Byron Sir Rowland said Mrs Reeves is young enough at twenty surely to own her age
True madam but at twenty if not before time always stands still with women A Ladys age once known will be always remembred and that more for Spite than Love At twentyeight or thirty I believe most Ladies are willing to strike off half a dozen years at least—And yet and yet smiling and looking arch I have always said pardon me Ladies that it is a sign when women are so desirous to conceal their age that they think they shall be good fornothing when in years Ah Ladies shaking his head and laughing women dont think of that But how I admire you madam for your frankness Would to the Lord you were twentyfour—I would have no woman marry under twentyfour And that let me tell you Ladies for the following reasons—standing up and putting the forefinger of his righthand extended with a flourish upon the thumb of his left
O Sir Rowland I doubt not but you can give very good reasons And I assure you I intend not to marry on the wrong side as I call it of twentyfour
Admirable by Mercy but that wont do neither The man lives not young Lady who will stay your time if he can have you at his I love your noble frankness Then such sweetness of countenance sitting down and audibly whispering and jogging my cousin with his elbow such dovelike eyes daring to tell all that is in the honest heart—I am a physiognomist madam raising his voice to me Adsmylife you are a perfect paragon Say you will encourage my boy or youll be worse off for standing up again I will come and court you myself A good estate gives
a man confidence and when I set about it—Hum—one hand stuck in his side flourishing with the other no woman yet I do assure you—ever won my heart as you have done
O Sir Rowland I thought you were too wise to be swayed by first impressions None but the giddy you know love at first sight
Admirable admirable indeed I knew you had wit at will and I am sure you have wisdom Know you Ladies that wit and wisdom are two different things and are very rarely seen together Plain man as I appear to be looking on himself first on one side then on the other and unbuttoning his coat two buttons to let a gold braid appear upon his waistcoat I can tell ye I have not lived all this time for nothing I am considered in Wales—Hem—But I will not praise myself—Adsmylife how do this young Ladys perfections run me all into tongue—But I see you all respect her as well as I so I need not make apology to the rest of you young Ladies for the distinction paid to her I wish I had as many nephews as there are Ladies of ye disengaged By Mercy we would be all of kin
Thank you Sir Rowland said each of the young Ladies smiling and diverted at his oddity
But as to my observation continued the knight that none but the giddy love at first sight There is no general rule without exception you know Every man must love you at first sight Do I not love you myself and yet never did I see you before nor any body like you
You know not what you do Sir Rowland to raise thus the vanity of a poor girl How may you make conceit and pride run away with her till she become contemptible for both in the eye of every person whose good opinion is worth cultivating
Adsmylife thats prettily said But let me tell you that the she who can give this caution in the
midst of her praisings can be in no danger of being run away with by her vanity Why madam you extort praises from me I never ran on so glibly in praise of mortal woman before You must cease to look to smile to speak I can toll you if you would have me cease to praise you
Tis well you are not a young man Sir Rowland said Miss Allestree You seem to have the art of engaging a womans attention You seem to know how to turn her own artillery against her and as your sex generally do exalt her in courtship that you may have it in your power to abase her afterwards
Why madam I must own that we men live to sixty before we know how to deal with you Ladies or with the world either and then we are not fit to engage with the one and are ready to quit the other An old head upon a young pair of shoulders would make rare work among ye But to the main point looking very kindly on me I ask no questions about you madam Fortune is not to be mentioned I want you not to have any Not that the Lady is the worse for having a fortune And a man may stand a chance for as good a wife among those who have fortunes as among those who have none I adore you for your frankness of heart Be all of a piece now I beseech you You are disengaged you say Will you admit of a visit from my nephew My boy may be bashful True Love is always modest and diffident You dont look as if you would dislike a man for being modest And I will come along with him myself
And then the old knight lookd important as one who if he lent his head to his nephews shoulders had no doubt of succeeding
What Sir Rowland admit of a visit from your nephew in order to engage him in a three years courtship I have told you that I intend not to marry till I am twentyfour
Twentyfour I must own is the age of marriage I should choose for a Lady and for the reasons aforesaid—But now I think of it I did not tell you my reasons—These be they—Down went his cup and sawcer up went his lefthand ready spread and his crooked finger of his righthand as ready to enumerate
No doubt Sir Rowland you have very good reasons
But madam you must hear them—And I shall prove—
I am convinced Sir Rowland that twentyfour is an age early enough
But I shall prove madam that you at twenty or at twentyone—
Enough enough Sir Rowland What need of proof when one is convincd
But you know not madam what I was driving at—
Well but Sir Rowland said Miss Bramber will not the reasons you could give for the proper age at twentyfour make against your wishes in this case
They will make against them madam in general cases But in this particular case they will make for me For the Lady before me is—
Not in my opinion perhaps Sir Rowland will your reasons make for you And then your exception in my favour will signify nothing And besides you must know that I never can accept of any compliment that is made me at the expence of my Sex
Well then madam I hope you forbid me in favour to my plea You are loth to hear any thing for twentyfour against twentyone I hope
That is another point Sir Rowland
Why madam you seem to be afraid of hearing my reasons No man living knows better than I how to behave in Ladies company I believe I should not be so little of a gentleman as to offend the nicest
ear No need indeed no need indeed looking archly Ladies on certain subjects are very quick
That is to say Sir Rowland interrupted Mrs Reeves that modesty is easily alarmed
If any thing is said or implied upon certain subjects that you would not be thought to understand Ladies know how to be ignorant And then he laughed
Undoubtedly Sir Rowland said I such company as this need not be apprehensive that a gentleman like you should say any thing unsuitable to it But do you really think affected ignorance can be ever graceful or a proof of true delicacy Let me rather say That a woman of virtue would be wanting to her character if she had not courage enough to express her resentment of any discourse that is meant as an insult upon modesty
Admirably said again But men will sometimes forget that there are Ladies in company
Very favourably put for the men Sir Rowland But pardon me if I own that I should have a mean opinion of a man who allowed himself to talk even to men what a woman might not hear A pure heart whether in man or woman will be always in every company on every occasion pure
Adsmylife you have excellent notions madam I wanted to hear you speak just now And now you make me and every one else silent—Twentyone why what you say would shame Sixtyone You must have kept excellent company all your life—Mercy if ever I heard the like from a Lady so young—What a glory do you reflect back upon all who had any hand in your education Why was I not born within the past thirty years I might then have had some hopes of you myself—And this brings me to my former subject of my nephew—But Mr Reeves one word with you Mr Reeves I beg your pardon Ladies But the importance of the matter will excuse
me And I must get out of town as soon as I can—One word with you Mr Reeves
The gentlemen withdrew together For breakfast by this time was over And then the knight opend all his heart to Mr Reeves and besought his interest He would afterwards have obtained an audience as he called it of me But the three young Ladies haveing taken leave of us and Mrs Reeves and I being retired to dress I desired to be excused
He then requested leave to attend me tomorrow evening But Mr Reeves pleading engagements till Monday evening he besought him to indulge him with his interest in that long gap of time as he called it and for my being then in the way
And thus Lucy have I given you an ample account of what has passed with regard to this new servant as gentlemen call themselves in order to become our masters
Tis now Friday morning We are just setting out to dine with Lady Betty If the day furnishes me with any amusing materials for my next pacquet its agreeableness will be doubled to
Your everaffectionate HARRIET BYRON
Friday Night
SOME amusement my Lucy the day has afforded Indeed more than I could have wished A large pacquet however for SelbyHouse
Lady Betty received us most politely She had company with her to whom she introduced us and presented me in a very advantageous character
Shall I tell you how their first appearance struck me and what I have since heard and observed of them
The first I shall mention was Miss Cantillon very pretty but visibly proud affected and conceited
The second Miss Clements plain but of a fine understanding improved by reading and who haveing no personal advantages to be vain of has by the cultivation of her mind obtained a preference in every ones opinion over the fair Cantillon
The third was Miss Barnevelt a Lady of masculine features and whose mind belied not those features for she has the character of being loud bold free even fierce when opposed and affects at all times such airs of contempt of her own Sex that one almost wonders at her condescending to wear petticoats
The gentlemens names were Walden and Singleton the first an Oxford scholar of family and fortune but quaint and opinionated despising every one who has not had the benefit of an University education
Mr Singleton is an harmless man who is it seems the object of more ridicule even down to his very name among all his acquaintance than I think he by any means ought considering the apparent inoffensiveness of the man who did not give himself his intellects and his constant good humour which might intitle him to better quarter the rather too as he has one point of knowlege which those who think themselves his superiors in understanding do not always attain the knowlege of himself for he is humble modest ready to confess an inferiority to every one And as laughing at a jest is by some taken for high applause he is ever the first to bestow that commendation on what others say tho it must be owned he nowandthen mistakes for a jest what is none Which however may be generally more the fault of the speakers than of Mr Singleton since he takes his cue from their smiles especially when those are seconded by the laugh of one of whom he has a good opinion
Mr Singleton is in possession of a good estate which makes amends for many defects He has a turn it is said to the wellmanaging of it and nobody understands his own interest better than he by which knowlege he has opportunities to lay obligations upon many of those who behind his back think themselves intitled by their supposed superior sense to deride him And he is ready enough to oblige in this way But it is always on such securities that he has never given cause for spendthrifts to laugh at him on that account
It is thought that the friends of the fair Cantillon would not be averse to an alliance with this gentleman While I were I his sister should rather wish that he had so much wisdom in his weakness as to devote himself to the worthier Pulcheria Clements Lady Bettys wish as well as mine whose fortune tho not despicable and whose humbler views would make her think herself repaid the obligation she would lay him under by her acceptance of him
Nobody it seems thinks of an husband for Miss Barnevelt She is sneeringly spoken of rather as a young fellow than as a woman and who will one day look out for a wife for herself One reason indeed she everywhere gives for being satisfied with being a woman which is that she cannot be married to a WOMAN
An odd creature my dear But see what women get by going out of character Like the Bats in the fable they are lookd upon as mortals of a doubtful species hardly owned by either and laughd at by both
This was the company and all the company besides us that Lady Betty expected But mutual civilities had hardly passed when Lady Betty having been called out returnd introducing as a gentleman who would be acceptable to every one Sir Hargrave Pollexfen He is whisperd she to me as he
saluted the rest of the company in a very gallant manner a young Baronet of a very large estate the greatest part of which has lately come to him by the death of a grandmother and two uncles all very rich
When he was presented to me by name and I to him I think myself very happy said he in being admitted to the presence of a young Lady so celebrated for her graces of person and mind Then addressing himself to Lady Betty Much did I hear when I was at the last Northampton races of Miss Byron But little did I expect to find report fall so short of what I see
Miss Cantillon bridled playd with her fan and lookd as if she thought herself slighted a little scorn intermingled with the airs she gave herself
Miss Clements smiled and lookd pleased as if she enjoyed goodnaturedly a compliment made to one of the Sex which she adorns by the goodness of her heart
Miss Barnevelt said she had from the moment I first entered beheld me with the eye of a Lover And freely taking my hand squeezed it—Charming creature said she as if addressing to a country innocent and perhaps expecting me to be coverd with blushes and confusion
The Baronet excusing himself to Lady Betty assured her that she must place this his bold intrusion to the account of Miss Byron he having been told that she was to be there
Whatever were his motive Lady Betty said he did her favour and she was sure the whole company would think themselves doubly obliged to Miss Byron
The Student lookd as if he thought himself eclipsed by Sir Hargrave and as if in revenge he was putting his fine speeches into Latin and trying them by the rules of grammar a broken sentence from a classic author bursting from his lips and at last standing up half on tiptoe as if he wanted to look down upon
the Baronet he stuck one hand in his side and passed by him casting a contemptuous eye on his gaudy dress
Mr Singleton smiled and lookd as if delighted with all he saw and heard Once indeed he tryd to speak His mouth actually opend to give passage to his words as sometimes seems to be his way before the words are quite ready But he sat down satisfied with the effort
It is true people who do not make themselves contemptible by affectation should not be despised Poor and rich wise and unwise we are all links of the same great chain And you must tell me my dear if I in endeavouring to give true descriptions of the persons I see incur the censure I bestow on others who despise anyone for defects they cannot help
Will you forgive me my dear if I make this Letter as long as my last
No say
Well then I thank you for a freedom so consistent with our friendship And I will conclude with assureances that I am and ever will be
Most affectionately Yours HARRIET BYRON
IT was convenient to me Lucy to break off just where I did in my last else I should not have been so very selfdenying as to suppose you had no curiosity to hear what undoubtedly I wanted to tell Two girls talking over a new set of company would my uncle Selby say are not apt to break off very abruptly not she especially of the two who has found out a fair excuse to repeat every compliment made to herself and when perhaps there may be a new admirer in the case
May there so my uncle And which of the gentlemen do you think the man The Baronet I warrant you guess—And so he is
Well then let me give you Lucy a sketch of him But consider I form my accounts from what I have since been told as well as from what I observed at the time
Sir Hargrave Pollexfen is handsome and genteel pretty tall about twentyeight or thirty His complexion is a little of the fairest for a man and a little of the palest He has remarkably bold eyes rather approaching to what we would call goggling and he gives himself airs with them as if he wishd to have them thought rakish Perhaps as a recommendation in his opinion to the Ladies Miss Cantillon on his back being turned Lady Betty praising his person said Sir Hargrave had the finest eyes she ever saw in a man They were manly meaning ones
He is very voluble in speech but seems to owe his volubility more to his want of doubt than to the extraordinary merit of what he says Yet he is thought to have sense and if he could prevail upon himself to hear more and speak less he would better deserve the good opinion he thinks himself sure of But as he can say any-thing without hesitation and excites a laugh by laughing himself at all he is going to say as well as at what he has just said he is thought infinitely agreeable by the gay and by those who wish to drown thought in merriment
Sir Hargrave it seems has travelled But he must have carried abroad with him a great number of follies and a great deal of affectation if he has left any of them behind him
But with all his foibles he is said to be a man of enterprize and courage and young Ladies it seems must take care how they laugh with him For he makes ungenerous constructions to the disadvantage of a woman whom he can bring to seem pleasd with
his jests I will tell you hereafter how I came to know this and even worse of him
The taste of the present age seems to be dress No wonder therefore that such a man as Sir Hargrave aims to excel in it What can be misbestowed by a man on his person who values it more than his mind But he would in my opinion better become his dress if the pains he undoubtedly takes before he ventures to come into public were less apparent This I judge from his solicitude to preserve all in exact order when in company for he forgets not to pay his respects to himself at every glass yet does it with a seeming consciousness, as if he would hide a vanity too apparent to be concealed breaking from it if he finds himself observed with an halfcareless yet seemingly dissatisfied air pretending to have discovered something amiss in himself This seldom fails to bring him a compliment Of which he shews himself very sensible by affectedly disclaiming the merit of it perhaps with this speech bowing with his spread hand on his breast waving his head to and fro—By my Soul Madam or Sir you do me too much honour
Such a man is Sir Hargrave Pollexfen He placed himself next to the country girl and laid himself out in fine speeches to her running on in such a manner that I had not for some time an opportunity to convince him that I had been in company of gay people before He would have it that I was a perfect beauty and he supposed me very young—Very silly of course And gave himself such airs as if he were sure of my admiration
I viewed him steadily several times and my eye once falling under his as I was looking at him I dare say he at that moment pitied the poor fond heart which he supposed was in tumults about him when at the very time I was considering whether if I were obliged to have the one or the other as a punishment for some great fault I had committed my choice would
fall on Mr Singleton or on him I mean supposing the former were not a remarkably obstinate man since obstinacy in a weak man I think must be worse than tyranny in a man of sense—If indeed a man of sense can be a tyrant
A summons to dinner relieved me from his more particular addresses and placed him at a distance from me
Sir Hargrave the whole time of dinner received advantage from the supercilious looks and behaviour of Mr Walden who seemed on everything the Baronet said and he was seldom silent half to despise him for he made at times so many different mouths of contempt that I thought it was impossible for the same features to express them I have been making mouths in the glass for several minutes to try to recover some of Mr Waldens in order to describe them to you Lucy but I cannot for my life so distort my face as to enable me to give you a notion of one of them
He might perhaps have been better justified in some of his contempts had it not been visible that the consequence which he took from the Baronet he gave to himself and yet was as censurable one way as Sir Hargrave was the other
Mirth however insipid will occasion smiles tho sometimes to the disadvantage of the mirthful But gloom severity moroseness will always disgust tho in a Solomon Mr Walden had not been taught that And indeed it might seem a little ungrateful Dont you think so Lucy if women failed to reward a man with their smiles who scrupled not to make himself a—monkey shall I say to please them
Never before did I see the difference between the man of the Town and the man of the College displayed in a light so striking as in these two gentlemen in the conversation after dinner The one
seemed resolved not to be pleased while the other laid himself out to please everybody and that in a manner so much at his own expence as frequently to bring into question his understanding By a second silly thing he banishd the remembrance of a first by a third the second and so on And by continually laughing at his own absurdities left us at liberty to suppose that his folly was his choice and that had it not been to divert the company he could have made a better figure
Mr Walden as was evident by his scornsul brow by the contemptuous motions of his lip and by his whole face affectedly turnd from the Baronet grudged him the smile that sat upon everyones countenance and for which without distinguishing whether it was a smile of approbation or not he lookd as if he pityd us all and as if he thought himself cast into unequal company Nay twice or thrice he addressed himself in preference to every one else to honest simpering Mr Singleton Who for his part as was evident much better relished the Baronets flippances than the dry significance of the Student For whenever Sir Hargrave spoke Mr Singletons mouth was open But it was quite otherwise with him when Mr Walden spoke even at the time that he paid him the distinction of addressing himself to him as if he were the principal person in the company
But one word by the bye Lucy—Dont you think it is very happy for us foolish women that the generality of the Lords of the creation are not much wiser than ourselves Or to express myself in other words, That overwisdom is as foolish a thing to the full as moderate solly—But hush I have done—I know that at this place my Uncle will be ready to rise against me
After dinner Mr Walden not chusing to be any longer so egregiously eclipsed by the man of the Town put forth the Scholar
By the way let me ask my uncle if the word scholar means not the learner rather than the learned If it originally means no more I would suppose that formerly the most learned men were the most modest contenting themselves with being thought but learners a modesty well becoming a learned man since vast is the field of science, as my revered first instructor used to say and the more a man knows the more he will find he has to know
Pray Sir Hargrave said Mr Walden may I ask you—You had a thought just now speaking of Love and Beauty which I know you must have from Tibullus And then he repeated the line in an heroic accent and pausing lookd round upon us women Which University had the honour of finishing your studies Sir Hargrave I presume you were brought up at one of them
Not I said the Baronet A man surely may read Tibullus and Virgil too without being indebted to either University for his learning
No man Sir Hargrave in my humble opinion With a decisive air he spoke the word humble can be wellgrounded in any branch of learning who has not been at one of our famous Universities
I never yet proposed Mr Walden to qualify myself for a degree My Chaplain is a very pretty fellow He understands Tibullus I believe Immoderately laughing and by his eyes cast in turn upon each person at table bespeaking a general smile—And of Oxford as you are And again he laughed But his laugh was then such a one as rather shewed ridicule than mirth a provoking laugh such a one as Mr Greville often affects when he is in a disputatious humour in order to dash an opponent out of countenance by getting the laugh instead of the argument on his side
My uncle you know will have it sometimes that his girl has a satirical vein I am afraid she has—
A bold hussy—But this I will say I mean no illnature I love everybody but not their faults as my uncle in his Letter tells me And wish not to be spared for my own Nor very probably am I if those who see me write of me to their chosen friends as I do to mine of them Shall I tell you what I imagine each person of the company I am writing about writing in character would say of me to their correspondents—It would be digressing too much or I would
Mr Walden in his heart I dare say was revenged on the Baronet He gave him such a look as would have grieved me the whole day had it been given me by one whom I valued
Sir Hargrave had too much business for his eyes with the Ladies in order to obtain their countenance to trouble himself about the looks of the men And indeed he seemed to have as great a contempt for Mr Walden as Mr Walden had for him
But here I shall be too late for the post Will this stuff go down with you at Selbyhouse in want of better subjects
Every thing from you my Harriet—
Thank you Thank you all my indulgent friends So it ever was Trifles from those we love are acceptable May I deserve your Love
Adieu my Lucy—But tell my Nancy that she has delighted me by her Letter
H B
WHAT is your opinion my charming Miss Byron said the Baronet May not a man of fortune who has not receivd his education and polish He pronounced the word polish with an emphasis and another laugh at an University make as good a figure in social life and as ardent a Lover as if he had
I would have been silent But staring in my face he repeated What say you to this Miss Byron
The World Sir Hargrave I have heard called an University But in my humble opinion neither a learned nor what is called a fine education has any other value than as each tends to improve the morals of men and to make them wise and good
The world an University repeated Mr Walden Why truly looking up to Sir Hargraves face and then down to his feet disdainfully as if he would measure him with his eye I cannot but say twisting his head on one side and with a drolling accent that the world produces very pretty scholars—for the Ladies—
The Baronet took fire at being so contemptuously measured by the eye of the Scholar and I thought it was not amiss for fear of high words between them to put myself forward
And are not women Mr Walden resumed I one half in number tho not perhaps in value of the human species—Would it not be pity Sir if the knowlege that is to be obtained in the lesser University should make a man despise what is to be acquired in the greater in which that knowlege was principally intended to make him useful
This diverted the Baronets anger Well Mr Walden said he exultingly rubbing his hands what say you to the young Ladys observation By my Soul it is worth your notice You may carry it down with you to your University and the best scholars there will not be the worse for attending to it
Mr Walden seemed to collect himself as if he were inclined to consider me with more attention than he had given me before and waving his hand as if he would put by the Baronet as an adversary he had done with I am to thank you madam said he it seems for your observation And so the lesser University—
I have great veneration Mr Walden interrupted I for learning and great honour for learned men—But this is a subject—
That you must not get off from young Lady
I am sorry to hear you say so Sir—But indeed I must
The company seemed pleased to see me so likely to be drawn in and this encouraged Mr Walden to push his weak adversary
Know you madam said he any-thing of the learned languages
No indeed Sir—Nor do I know which particularly you call so
The Greek the Latin madam
Who I a woman know any thing of Latin and Greek I know but one Lady who is mistress of both and she finds herself so much an owl among the birds that she wants of all things to be thought to have unlearned them
Why Ladies I cannot but say that I should rather choose to marry a woman whom I could teach something than one who would think herself qualified to teach me
Is it a necessary consequence Sir said Miss Clements that knowlege which makes a man shine should make a woman vain and pragmatical May not two persons having the same taste improve each other Was not this the case of Monsieur and Madame Dacier think you
Flint and steel to each other added Lady Betty
Turkish policy I doubt in you men proceeded Miss Clements—No second brother near the throne That empire some think the safest which is founded in ignorance
We know Miss Clements replied Mr Walden that you are a wellread Lady But I have nothing to say to observations that are in everybodys mouth—Pardon me Madam
Indeed Sir said Mr Reeves I think Miss Clements should not pardon you There is in my opinion great force in what she hinted
But I have a mind to talk with this fair Lady your cousin Mr Reeves She is the very Lady that I wish to hold an argument with on the hints she threw out
Pardon me Sir But I cannot return the compliment I cannot argue
And yet madam I will not let you go off so easily You seem to be very happy in your elocution and to have some pretty notions for so young a Lady
I cannot argue Sir—
Dear Miss Byron said the Baronet hear what Mr Walden has to say to you
Every one made the same request I was silent lookd down and playd with my fan
When Mr Walden had liberty to say what he pleased he seemed at a loss himself for words
At last I asked you madam I asked you hesitatingly began he whether you knew any thing of the learned languages It has been whispered to me that you have had great advantages from a grandfather of whose learning and politeness we have heard much He was a scholar He was of Christs in our University if I am not mistaken—To my question you answered That you knew not particularly which were the languages that I called the learned ones and you have been pleased to throw out hints in relation to the lesser and to the greater University by all which you certainly mean something—
Pray Mr Walden said I—
And pray Miss Byron—I am afraid of all smatterers in learning Those who know a little—and Ladies cannot know to the bottom—They have not the happiness of an University education—
Nor is every man at the University I presume Sir a Mr Walden
He took it for a compliment—Why as to that madam—bowing—But this is a misfortune to Ladies not a fault in them—But as I was going to say Those who know little are very seldom sound are very seldom orthodox as we call it whether respecting religion or learning And as it seems you lost your Grandfather too early to be wellgrounded in the latter in the former Lady Betty who is my informant says you are a very good young Lady I should be glad to put you right if you happen to be a little out of the way
I thank you Sir bowing and Simpleton still playing with my fan But tho Mr Reeves said nothing he did not think me very politely treated Yet he wanted he told me afterwards to have me drawn out He should not have served me so I told him especially among strangers and men
Now madam will you be pleased to inform me said Mr Walden Whether you had any particular meaning when you answered that you knew not which I called the learned languages You must know that the Latin and Greek are of those so called
I beg Mr Walden that I may not be thus singled out—Mr Reeves—Sir—you have had Universityeducation Pray relieve your cousin
Mr Reeves smiled bowed his head but said nothing
You were pleased madam proceeded Mr Walden to mention one learned Lady and said that she looked upon herself as an owl among the birds—
And you Sir said that you had rather and I believe most men are of your mind have a woman you could teach—
Than one who would suppose she could teach me I did so
Well Sir and would you have me be guilty of an ostentation that would bring me no credit if I had had some pains taken with me in my education But indeed Sir I know not any-thing of those you call
the learned languages Nor do I take all learning to consist in the knowlege of languages
All learning—Nor I madam—But if you place not learning in language be so good as to tell us what do you place it in
He nodded his head with an air as if he had said This pretty Miss is got out of her depth I believe I shall have her now
I would rather Sir said I be an hearer than a speaker and the one would better become me than the other I answered Sir Hargrave because he thought proper to apply to me
And I madam apply to you likewise
Then Sir I have been taught to think that a learned man and a linguist may very well be two persons In other words, That science or knowlege and not language merely is learning
Very well Be pleased to proceed madam
Languages I own Sir are of use to let us into the knowlege for which so many of the antients were famous—But—
Here I stopt Every ones eyes were upon me I was a little out of countenance
In what a situation Lucy are we women—If we have some little genius and have taken pains to cultivate it we must be thought guilty of affectation whether we appear desirous to conceal it or submit to have it called forth
But what madam Pray proceed eagerly said Mr Walden—But what madam
But have not the moderns Sir if I must speak if they have equal geniuss the same heavens the same earth the same works of God or of nature, as it is called to contemplate upon and improve by The first great geniuss of all had not human example had not human precepts—
Nor were the first geniuss of all with an emphasis replied Mr Walden so perfect as the observations
of the geniuss of aftertimes which were built upon their foundations made them and they others Learning or knowlege as you choose to call it was a progressive thing And it became necessary to understand the different languages in which the sages of antiquity wrote in order to avail ourselves of their learning
Very right Sir I believe You consider skill in languages then as a vehicle to knowlege—Not I presume as science itself
I was sorry the Baronet laughed because his laughing made it more difficult for me to get off as I wanted to do
Pray Sir Hargrave said Mr Walden let not every thing that is said be laughed at I am fond of talking to this young Lady And a conversation upon this topic may tend as much to edification perhaps as most of the subjects with which we have been hitherto entertained
Sir Hargrave took an empty glass and with it humourously rapped his own knuckles bowed smiled and was silent by that act of yielding which had gracefulness in it gaining more honour to himself than Mr Walden obtained by his rebuke of him however just
But this humourous acknowlegement hindered not Mr Walden from shewing by a nod given with an assuming air that he thought he had obtained a victory over the Baronet And then he again applied himself to me
Now madam if you please and he put himself into a disputing attitude a word or two with you on your vehicle and sosorth
Pray spare me Sir I am willing to sit down quietly I am unequal to this subject I have done
But said the Baronet you must not sit down quietly madam Mr Walden has promised us edification and we all attend the effect of his promise
No no madam said Mr Walden you must not come off so easily You have thrown out some extraordinary things for a Lady and especially for so young a Lady From you we expect the opinions of your worthy grandfather as well as your own notions He no doubt told you or you have read that the competition set on foot between the learning of the antients and moderns has been the subject of much debate among the learned in the latter end of the last century
Indeed Sir I know nothing of the matter I am not learned My grandfather was chiefly intent to make me an English and I may say a Bible scholar I was very young when I had the misfortune to lose him My whole endeavour has been since that the pains he took with me should not be cast away
I have discovered you madam to be a Parthian Lady You can fight flying I see You must not I tell you come off so easily for what you have thrown out Let me ask you Did you ever read The Tale of a Tub
The Baronet laughedout tho evidently in the wrong place
How apt are laughing spirits said Mr Walden looking solemnly to laugh when perhaps they ought—There he stopt—to be laughd at I suppose he had in his head But I will not however be laughd out of my question—Have you madam read Swifts Tale of a Tub—There is such a book Sir Hargrave looking with a leer of contempt at the Baronet
I know there is Mr Walden replied the Baronet and again laughed—Have you madam to me Pray let us know what Mr Walden drives at
I have Sir
Why then madam resumed Mr Walden you no doubt read bound up with it The Battle of the Books a very fine piece written in favour of the antients and against the moderns and thence must be
acquainted with the famous dispute I mentioned And this will shew you that the moderns are but pygmies in science compared to the antients And pray shall not the knowlege which enables us to understand and to digest the wisdom of these immortal antients be accounted learning—Pray madam nodding his head answer me that
O how these pedants whispered Sir Hargrave to Mr Reeves strut in the livery and brass buttons of the antients and call their servility learning
You are going beyond my learning or capacity Sir I must agree that the knowlege which enables us to comprehend the wisdom of the antients and to be improved by it deserves to be called learning Yet the antients may be read I suppose and not understood—But pray Sir let the Parthian fly the field I promise you that she will not return to the charge Escape not victory is all she contends for
All in good time madam—But who pray learns the language but with a view to understand the author
Nobody I believe Sir But yet some who read the antients may fail of understanding them or at least of improving by them for every scholar I presume is not necessarily a man of sense.
The Baronet was wicked here in pointing by a laugh as particular satire what I meant but as general observation
But supposing the knowlege of these antients continued I as great as you please is it not to be lamented is it not indeed strange that none of the modern learned notwithstanding the advantage of their works most of which they have taught to speak our language notwithstanding the later important discoveries in many branches of science; notwithstanding a Revelation from Heaven to which the religion of the Pagans was foolishness and on which foolishness however I am told most of the works of antiquity are founded
should have deserved a higher consideration in the comparison than as pygmies to giants
I was going to say something farther but the Baronet by his loud applauses disconcerted me and I was silent
Proceed madam—No triumph no cause of triumph here Sir Hargrave—Pray madam proceed—You have not done I perceive
I should be very glad Sir to have done Pray change either the subject or choose another disputant
Every one called upon me to proceed and Mr Walden urged me to say what I was going to say
But will you not my Lucy be glad of a little relief from this argument—Yes say
Here then I conclude this Letter to begin another But it must be after I return from the play this night or early in the morning before I go to church
URGED thus by every one What I had further in my thoughts to say resumed I was from what I read in my Bible The first man seems to have had an intuitive knowlege given him of almost all that concerned him to know And his early descendants while there was but one language and long before the Greek and Roman sages existed understood Husbandry and Music were Artificers in Brass and Iron built that surprising naval structure the Ark attempted a yet greater piece of architecture the Tower of Babel and therefore must have had skill in many other parts of science which are not particularly mentioned
And so madam you really seem to think that the knowlege we gather from the great antients is hardly worth the pains we take in acquiring the languages in which they wrote
Not so Sir I have great respect even for linguists Do we not owe to them the translation of the sacred Books—But methinks I could wish that such a distinction should be made between language and science as should convince me that That confusion of tongues which was intended for a punishment of presumption in the early ages of the world should not be thought to give us our greatest glory in these more enlightened times
Well madam Ladies must be treated as Ladies But I shall have great pleasure on my return to Oxford in being able to acquaint my learned friends that they must all turn fine gentlemen and laughers Mr Reeves had smiled as well as the Baronet and despise the great antients as men of straw or very shortly they will stand no chance in the Ladies favour
Good Mr Walden Good Mr Walden laughed the Baronet shaking his embroiderd sides let me let me beg your patience while I tell you that the young gentlemen at both Universities are already in more danger of becoming fine gentlemen than fine scholars—And then again he laughed and looking round him bespoke in his usual way a laugh from the rest of the company
Mr Reeves a little touchd at the scholars reference to him in the word laughers said It were to be wishd that in all nurseries of learning the manners of youth were proposed as the principal end It is too known a truth said he that the attention paid to languages has too generally swallowed up all other and more important considerations insomuch that sound morals and good breeding themselves are obliged to give way to that which is of little moment but as it promotes and inculcates those And learned men I am persuaded if they dared to speak out would not lay so much stress upon languages as you Mr Walden seem to do
Learning here replyd Mr Walden a little peevishly
has not a fair tribunal to be tryd at As it is said of the advantages of birth or degree so it may be said of learning No one despises it that has pretensions to it But proceed Miss Byron if you please
Very true I believe Sir said I But on the other hand may not those who have either or both value themselves too much on that account I knew once an excellent scholar who thought that too great a portion of life was bestowed in the learning of languages and that the works of many of the antients were more to be admired for the stamp which antiquity has fixed upon them and for the sake of their purity in languages that cannot alter and whose works are therefore become the standard of those languages than for the lights obtained from them by men of genius in ages that we have reason to think more enlightened as well by new discoveries as by revelation
And then I was going to ask whether the reputation of learning was not oftener acquird by skill in those branches of science which principally serve for amusement to inquisitive and curious minds than by that in the more useful sort But Mr Walden broke in upon me with an air that had severity in it
I could almost wish said he and but almost as you are a Lady that you knew the works of the great antients in their original languages
Something said Miss Clements should be left for men to excel in I cannot but approve of Mr Waldens word almost
She then whisperd me Pray Miss Byron proceed for she saw me a little out of countenance at Mr Waldens severe air—Strange added she still whispering that people who know least how to argue should be most disputatious Thank Heaven all scholars are not like this
A little encouraged Pray Sir said I let me ask one question—Whether you do not think that our Milton in his Paradise Lost shews himself to be a
very learned man—And yet that work is written wholly in the language of his own country as the works of Homer and Virgil were in the language of theirs—And they I presume will be allowed to be learned men
Milton madam let me tell you is infinitely obliged to the great antients and his very frequent allusions to them and his knowlege of their mythology shew that he is
His knowlege of their mythology Sir—His own subject so greatly so nobly so divinely above that mythology—I have been taught to think by a very learned man that it was a condescension in Milton to the taste of persons of more reading than genius in the age in which he wrote to introduce so often as he does his allusions to the pagan mythology And that he neither raised his sublime subject nor did credit to his vast genius by it
Mr Addision said Mr Walden is a writer admired by the Ladies Mr Addison madam as you will find in your Spectators Sneeringly he spoke this gives but the second place to Milton on comparing some passage of his with some of Homer
If Mr Addison Sir has not the honour of being admired by the gentlemen as well as the ladies I dare say Mr Walden will not allow that his authority should decide the point in question And yet as I remember he greatly extols Milton—But I am going out of my depth—Only permit me to say one thing more—If Homer is to be preferred to Milton he must be the sublimest of writers and Mr Pope admirable as his translation of the Iliad is said to be cannot have done him justice
You seem madam to be a very deep English scholar But say you this from your own observation or from that of any other
I readily own that my lights are borrowed replied I I owe the observation to my godfather Mr Deane
He is a scholar but a greater admirer of Milton than of any of the antients A gentleman his particular friend who was as great an admirer of Homer undertook from Mr Popes translation of the Iliad to produce passages that in sublimity exceeded any in the Paradise Lost The gentlemen met at Mr Deanes house where I then was They allowed me to be present and this was the issue The gentleman went away convinced that the English poet as much excelled the Grecian in the grandeur of his sentiments as his subject founded on the Christian system surpasses the pagan
The debate I have the vanity to think said Mr Walden had I been a party in it would have taken another turn
The baronet expressed himself highly delighted with me and was running over with the praises he had heard given me at last Northampton races when I endeavoured to stop him by saying Surely Sir it must be your too low opinion of the qualifications of our Sex that can induce you to think such obvious remarks as I have been drawn in to make at all considerable
But this hindered not Sir Hargrave from being even noisy in his applauses He would have it that I must know a vast deal because I happened to touch upon some things that had not taken his attention He drowned the voice of Mr Walden who two or three times was earnest to speak but not finding himself heard drew up his mouth as if to a contemptuous whistle shruggd his shoulders and sat collected in his own conscious worthiness His eyes however were often cast upon the pictures that hung round the room as much better objects than the living ones before him
But what extremely disconcerted me was a freedom of Miss Barnevelts taken upon what I last said and upon Mr Waldens hesitation and Sir Hargraves applauses She prosessed that I was able to bring her own
Sex into reputation with her Wisdom as I call it said she notwithstanding what you have modestly alleged to depreciate your own proceeding throteeth of ivory and lips of coral give a grace to every word And then clasping one of her mannish arms round me she kissed my cheek
I was surprised and offended and with the more reason as Sir Hargrave rising from his seat declared that since merit was to be approved in that manner he thought himself obliged to follow so good an example
I stood up and said Surely Sir my compliance with the request of the company too much I fear at my own expence calls rather for civility than freedom from a gentleman I beg Sir Hargrave—There I stopt and I am sure looked greatly in earnest
He stood suspended till I had speaking and then bowing sat down again but as Mr Reeves told me afterwards he whispered a great oath in his ear and declared that he beheld with transport his future wife and cursed himself if he would ever have another vowing in the same whisper that were a thousand men to stand in his way he would not scruple any means to remove them
Miss Barnevelt only laughed at the freedom she had taken with me She is a loud and fearless laugher She hardly knows how to smile For as soon as anything catches her fancy her voice immediately bursts her lips and widens her mouth to its full extent—Forgive me Lucy I believe I am spiteful
Lady Betty and Miss Clements in low voices praised me for my presence of mind as they called it in checking Sir Hargraves forwardness
Just here Lucy I laid down my pen and stept to the glass to see whether I could not please myself with a wise frown or two at least with a solemnity of countenance that occasionally I might dash with it my childishness of look which certainly encouraged
this freedom of Miss Barnevelt But I could not please myself My muscles have never been used to any-thing but smiling So favoured so beloved by every one of my dear friends an heart so grateful for all their favours—How can I learn now to frown or even long to look grave
All this time the scholar sat uneasilycareless Can you connect together my Lucy ideas so very different as these two words joined will give you
In the mean time Mr Reeves having sent for from his study Bishop Burnets History of his own Times said he would by way of moderatorship in the present debate read them a passage to which he believed all parties would subscribe And then read what I will transcribe for you from the conclusion to that performance
I have often thought it a great error to waste young gentlemens years so long in learning Latin by so tedious a grammar I know those who are bred to the profession in literature must have the Latin correctly and for that the rules of grammar are necessary But these rules are not at all requisite to those who need only so much Latin as thoroughly to understand and delight in the Roman authors and poets But suppose a youth had either for want of memory or of application an incurable a version to Latin his education is not for that to be despaired of There is much noble knowlege to be had in the English and French languages Geography History chiefly that of our own country the knowlege of Nature, and the more practical parts of the Mathematics if he has not a genius for the demonstrative may make a gentleman very knowing tho he has not a word of Latin And why I would fain know said Mr Reeves not a gentlewoman There is a fineness of thought and a nobleness of expression indeed in the Latin authors This makes for your argument Mr Walden that will make
them the entertainment of a mans whole life if he once understands and reads them with delight Very well said Mr Walden But if this cannot be attained to I would not have it reckoned that the education of an ill Latin scholar is to be given over
Thus far the Bishop We all know proceeded Mr Reeves how well Mr Locke has treated this subject And he is so far from discouraging the fair Sex from learning languages that he gives us a method in his Treatise of Education by which a mother may not only learn Latin herself but be able to teach it to her son Be not therefore Ladies ashamed either of your talents or acquirements Only take care you give not up any knowlege that is more laudable in your Sex and more useful for learning and then I am sure you will you must be the more agreeable the more suitable companions to men of sense. Nor let any man have so narrow a mind as to be apprehensive for his own prerogative from a learned woman A woman who does not behave the better the more she knows will make her husband uneasy and will think as well of herself were she utterly illiterate nor would any argument convince her of her duty Do not men marry with their eyes open And cannot they court whom they please A conceited a vain mind in a woman cannot be hid Upon the whole I think it may be fairly concluded that the more a woman knows as well as a man the wiser she will generally be and the more regard she will have for a man of sense and learning
Here ended Mr Reeves Mr Walden was silent yet shrugged his shoulders and seemed unsatisfied
The conversation then took a more general turn in which every one bore a part Plays Fashion Dress and the Public Entertainments were the subjects
Miss Cantillon who had till now sat a little uneasy seemed resolved to make up for her silence But did not
shine at all where she thought herself most intitled to make a figure
But Miss Clements really shone Yet in the eye of some people what advantages has folly in a pretty face over even wisdom in a plain one Sir Hargrave was much more struck with the pert things spoken without fear or wit by Miss Cantillon than with the just observations that fell from the lips of Miss Clements
Mr Walden made no great figure on these fashionable subjects no not on that of Plays For he would needs force into conversation with a preference to our Shakespeare his Sophocles his Euripides his Terence of the merits of whose performances except by translation no one present but Mr Reeves and himself could judge
Sir Hargrave spoke well on the subject of the reigning fashions and on modern dress so much the foible of the present age
Lady Betty and Mrs Reeves spoke very properly of the decency of dress and propriety of fashions as well as of public entertainments
Miss Clements put in here also with advantage to herself
Nor would Mr Walden be excluded this topic But as the observations he made on it went no deeper than what it was presumed he might have had at secondhand he made a worse figure here than he did on his more favourite subject He was however heard till he was for bringing in his Spartan jacket I forget what he called it descending only to the knees of the women in place of hoops and the Roman toga for the men
My uncle will be pleased to remember that Mr Walden has given my letters the learned jaundice Had not that gentleman been one of the company not a word of all this jargon would my uncle have had from his Harriet And yet all I have said is but
from common reading And let me ask why because we know but little we are to be supposed to know nothing
Miss Barnevelt broke in upon the Scholar but by way of approbation of what he said and went on with subjects of heroism without permitting him to rally and proceed as he seemed inclined to do After praising what he said of the Spartan and Roman dresses she fell to enumerating her heroes both antient and modern Achilles the savage Achilles charmed her Hector was a good clever man however Yet she could not bear to think of his being so mean as to beg for his life tho of her heroic Achilles He deserved for it she said to have his corpse dragged round the Trojan walls at the wheels of the victors chariot Alexander the Great was her dear creature and Julius Caesar was a very pretty fellow These were Miss Barnevelts antient heroes Among the moderns the great Scanderbeg our Henry V Henry IV of France Charles XII of Sweden and the great Czar Peter who my grandfather used to say was worth them all were her favourites
All this while honest Mr Singleton had a smile at the service of every speaker and a loud laugh always ready at the baronets
Sir Hargrave seemed not a little pleased with the honest mans complaisance and always directed himself to him when he was disposed to be merry Laughing you know my dear is almost as catching as gaping be the subject ever so silly And more than once he shewed by his eyes that he could have devoured Miss Cantillon for generally adding her affected Tehe twisting and bridling behind her fan to his louder Hah hah hah hah
What a length have I run How does this narrative Letterwriting if one is to enter into minute and characteristic descriptions and conversations draw one on I will leave off for the present Yet have not
quite dismissed the company tho I have done with the argument that I thought to have parted with before I concluded this Letter
But I know I shall please my uncle in the livelier parts of it by the handle they will give him against me My grandmother and aunt Selby will be pleased and so will you my Lucy with all I write for the writers sake Such is their and your partial Love to
Their evergrateful HARRIET
BY the time tea was ready Lady Betty whisperingly congratulated me on having made so considerable a conquest as she was sure I had by Sir Hargraves looks in which was mingled reverence with admiration as she expressed herself She took notice also of a gallant expression of his uttered as she would have it with an earnestness that gave it a meaning beyond a common compliment My cousin Reeves had asked Miss Clements if she could commend to me an honest modest manservant I said Sir Hargrave can I myself shall be proud to wear Miss Byrons livery and that for life
Miss Cantillon who was within hearing of this and had seemed to be highly taken with the baronet could hardly let her eyes be civil to me and yet her really pretty mouth occasionally worked itself into forced smiles and an affectation of complaisance
Sir Hargrave was extremely obsequious to me all the teatime and seemed in earnest a little uneasy in himself And after tea he took my cousin Reeves into the next room and there made your Harriet the subject of a serious conversation and desired his interest with me
He prefaced his declaration to Mr Reeves with
assuring him that he had sought for an opportunity more than once to be admitted into my company when he was last at Northampton and that he had not intruded himself then into this company had he not heard I was to be there He made protestations of his honourable views which lookd as if he thought they might be doubted if he had not given such assurances A tacit implication of an imagined superiority as well in consequence as fortune
Mr Reeves told him It was a rule which all my relations had set themselves not to interfere with my choice let it be placed on whom it would
Sir Hargrave called himself an happy man upon this intelligence He afterwards on his return to company found an opportunity as Mrs Reeves and I were talking at the furthest part of the room in very vehement terms to declare himself to me an admirer of perfections of his own creation for he volubly enumerated many and beggd my permission to pay his respects to me at Mr Reevess
Mr Reeves Sir Hargrave said I will receive what visits he pleases in his own house I have no permission to give
He bowed and made me a very high compliment taking what I said for a permission
What can a woman do with these selfflatterers
Mr Walden took his leave Sir Hargrave his He wanted I saw to speak to me at his departure but I gave him no opportunity
Mr Singleton seemed also inclined to go but knew not how and having lost the benefit of their example by his irresolution sat down
Lady Betty then repeated her congratulations How many Ladies said she and fine Ladies too have sighd in secret for Sir Hargrave You will have the glory Miss Byron of fixing the wavering heart of a man who has done and is capable of doing a great deal of mischief
The Ladies madam said I who can sigh in secret for such a man as Sir Hargrave must either deserve a great deal of pity or none at all
Sir Hargrave said Miss Cantillon is a very fine gentleman and so looked upon I assure you And he has a noble estate
It is very happy replyd I that we do not all of us like the same person I mean not to disparage Sir Hargrave but I have compassion for the Ladies who sigh for him in secret One woman only can be his wife and perhaps she will not be one of those who sigh for him especially were he to know that she does
Perhaps not replyd Miss Cantillon But I do assure you that I am not one of those who sigh for Sir Hargrave
The Ladies smiled
I am glad of it madam said I Every woman should have her heart in her own keeping till she can find a worthy man to bestow it upon
Miss Barnevelt took a tilt in heroics Well Ladies said she you may talk of Love and Love as much as you please but it is my glory that I never knew what Love was I for my part like a brave man a gallant man One in whose loud praise fame has crackd half a dozen trumpets But as to your milksops your doughbaked Lovers who stay at home and strut among the women when glory is to be gaind in the martial field I despise them with all my heart I have often wishd that the foolish heads of such fellows as these were all cut off in time of war and sent over to the heroes to fill their cannon with when they batter in breach by way of saving ball
I am afraid said Lady Betty humouring this romantic speech that if the heads of such persons were as soft as we are apt sometimes to think them they would be of as little service abroad as they are at home
O madam replied Miss Barnevelt there is a good deal of lead in the heads of these fellows But were their brains said the shocking creature if any they have made to fly about the ears of an enemy they would serve both to blind and terrify him
Even Mr Singleton was affected with this horrid speech for he clapt both his hands to his head as if he were afraid of his brains
Lady Betty was very urgent with us to pass the evening with her but we excused ourselves and when we were in the coach Mr Reeves told me that I should find the Baronet a very troublesome and resolute Lover if I did not give him countenance
And so Sir said I you would have me do as I have heard many a good woman has done marry a man in order to get rid of his importunity
And a certain cure too let me tell you cousin said he smiling
We sound at home waiting for Mr Reevess return Sir John Allestree A worthy sensible man of plain and unaffected manners upwards of fifty
Mr Reeves mentioning to him our past entertainment and company Sir John gave us such an account of Sir Hargrave as helped me not only in the character I have given of him but let me know that he is a very dangerous and enterprising man He says that laughing and light as he is in company he is malicious illnatured and designing and sticks at nothing to carry a point on which he has once set his heart He has ruined Sir John says three young creatures already under vows of marriage
Sir John spoke of him as a managing man as to his fortune He said That tho he would at times be lavish in the pursuit of his pleasures yet that he had some narrownesses which made him despised and that most by those for whose regard a good man would principally wish his neighbours and tenants
Could you have thought my Lucy that this laughing
finedressing man could have been a man of malice of resentment of enterprize a cruel man Yet Sir John told two very bad stories of him besides what I have mentioned which prove him to be all I have said
But I had no need of these stories to determine me against receiving his addresses What I saw of him was sufficient though Sir John made no manner of doubt on being told by Mr Reeves in confidence of his application to him for leave to visit me that he was quite in earnest and making me a compliment added that he knew Sir Hargrave was inclined to marry and the more as one half of his estate on failure of issue male would go at his death to a distant relation whom he hated but for no other reason than for admonishing him when a schoolboy on his low and mischievous pranks
His estate Sir John told my cousin is full as considerable as reported And Mr Reeves after Sir John went away said What a glory will it be to you cousin Byron to reform such a man and make his great fortune a blessing to multitudes as I am sure would be your endeavour to do were you Lady Pollexfen
But my Lucy were Sir Hargrave king of one half of the globe I would not go to the altar with him
But if he be a very troublesome man what shall I say to him I can deal pretty well with those who will be kept at arms length but I own I should be very much perplexd with resolute wretches The civility I think myself obliged to pay every one who prosesses a regard for me might subject me to inconveniencies with violent spirits which protected as I have been by my uncle Selby and my good Mr Deane I never yet have known O my Lucy to what evils but for that protection might I not as a sole an independent young woman have been exposed Since men many men are to be lookd upon as savages
as wild beasts of the desart and a single and independent woman they hunt after as their proper prey
To have done with Sir Hargrave for the present and I wish I may be able to say for ever early in the morning a billet was brought from him to Mr Reeves excusing himself from paying him a visit that morning as he had intended by reason of the sudden and desperate illness of a relation whose seat was near Reading with whom he had large concerns and who was desirous to see him before he died As it was impossible that he could return under three days which he said would appear as three years to him and he was obliged to set out that moment he could not dispense with himself for putting in his claim as he called it to Miss Byrons favour and confirming his declaration of yesterday In very high strains he professed himself her admirer and beggd Mr and Mrs Reevess interest with her One felicity he said he hoped for from his absence which was that as Miss Byron and Mr and Mrs Reeves would have time to consider of his offers he presumd to hope he should not be subjected to a repulse
And now my Lucy you have before you as good an account as I can give you of my two new Lovers How I shall manage with them I know not But I begin to think that those young women are happiest whose friends take all the trouble of this sort upon them only consulting their daughters inclinations as preliminaries are adjusting
My friends indeed pay an high compliment to my discretion when they so generously allow me to judge for myself And we young women are fond of being our own mistresses But I must say that to me this compliment has been and is a painful one for two reasons That I cannot but consider their goodness as a task upon me which requires my utmost circumspection as well as gratitude and that they have shewn more generosity in dispensing with their authority
than I have done whenever I have acted so as to appear tho but to appear to accept of the dispensation Let me add besides that now when I find myself likely to be addressed to by mere strangers by men who grew not into my knowlege insensibly as our neighbours Greville Fenwick and Orme did I cannot but think it has the appearance of confidence to stand out to receive as a creature uncontroulable the first motions to an address of this awful nature Awful indeed might it be called were ones heart to incline towards a particular person
Allow me then for the future my revered grandmamma and you my beloved and equally honoured uncle and aunt Selby allow me to refer myself to you if any person offers to whom I may happen to have no strong objections As to Mr Fowler and the Baronet I must now do as well as I can with them It is much easier for a young woman to say No than Yes But for the time to come I will not have the assurance to act for myself I know your partiality for your Harriet too well to doubt the merit of your recommendation
As Mr and Mrs Reeves require me to shew them what I write they are fond of indulging me in the employment You will therefore be the less surprisd that I write so much in so little a time Miss Byron is in her Closet Miss Byron is writing is an excuse sufficient they seem to think to everybody because they allow it to be one to them But besides I know they believe they oblige you all by the opportunity they so kindly give me of shewing my Duty and Love where so justly due
I am however surprisd at casting my eye back—Two sheets and such a quantity before Unconscionable say and let me Echolike repeat Unconscionable
HARRIET BYRON
Sunday Night
Monday February 6
AND so my uncle Selby you tell me is making observations in writing on my Letters and waits for nothing more to begin with me than my conclusion of the conversations that offered at Lady Bettys
And is it expected that I should go on furnishing weapons against myself—It is
Well with all my heart As long as I can contribute to his amusement as long as I know that he rather sometimes delights to say what may be said than what he really thinks as long as I have my good aunt Selby for my advocate as long as my grandmamma is pleased and diverted with what I write as well as with his pleasantries on her girl and as long as you my Lucy stand up for your Harriet I will proceed and when my measure is full and runs over in his opinion then let him ascribe vanity and what he pleases to me I am but a woman And he knows that I must love him the better for his stripes Only let him take care that when he lays at my door faults of which I think I can acquit myself he increases not in me the vanity he is so ready to attribute to me
Well but will you not my Harriet methinks you ask write with less openness with more reserve in apprehension of the rod which you know hangs over your head
Indeed I will not It is my glory that I have not a thought in my heart which I would conceal from any one whom it imported to know it and who would be gratified by the revealing of it And yet I am a little chagrind at the wager which you tell me my uncle has actually laid with my grandmamma that I shall not return from London with a sound heart
And does he teaze you my Lucy on this subject with reminding you of your young partiality for Captain Duncan in order to make good his assertion of the susceptibility of us all
Why so let him And why should you deny that you were susceptible of a natural passion You must not be prudish Lucy If you are not all his raillery will lose its force What better assurance can I give to my uncle and to all my friends that if I were caught I would own it than by advising you not to be ashamed to confess a sensibility which is no disgrace when duty and prudence are our guides and the object worthy
Your man indeed was not worthy as it proved but he was a very specious creature and you knew not his bad character when you suffered liking to grow into love But when the Lovefever was at the height did you make anybody uneasy with your passion Did you run to woods and groves to record it on the barks of trees—No—You sighed in silence indeed But it was but for a little while I got your secret from you not however till it betrayd itself in your pined countenance and then the mans discoverd unworthiness and your own discretion enabled you to conquer a passion to which you had given way supposing it unconquerable because you thought it would cost you pains to contend with it
As to myself you know I have hitherto been on my guard I have been careful ever to shut the door of my heart against the blind deity the moment I could
imagine him setting his incroaching foot on the threshhold which I think liking may be called Had he once gained entrance perhaps I might have come off but simply
But I hope I am in the less danger of falling in love with any man as I can be civil and courteous to all When a stream is sluiced off into several channels there is the less fear that it will overflow its banks I really think I never shall be in love with anybody till duty directs inclination
Excuse me Lucy I do nowandthen you know get into a boasting humour But then my punishment as in most other cases follows my fault My uncle pulls me down and shews me that I am not half so good as the rest of my friends think me
You tell me that Mr Greville will be in London in a very few days I cant help it He pretends business you say and since that calls him up intends to give himself a months pleasure in town and to take his share of the public entertainments Well so let him But I hope that I am not to be either his business or entertainment After a civil neighbourly visit or so I hope I shall not be tormented with him
What happened once betwixt Mr Fenwick and him gave me pain enough exposed me enough surely A young woman tho without her own fault made the occasion of a rencounter between two men of fortune must be talked of too much for her own liking or she must be a strange creature What numbers of people has the unhappy rashness of those two men brought to stare at me And with what difficulty did my uncle and Mr Deane bring them into so odd a compromise as they at last came into to torment me by joint consent notwithstanding all I could say to them which was the only probable way shocking creatures to prevent murder—And may I not be apprehensive of what may happen should Sir Hargrave
persist in his present way of thinking—Mr Greville is a rash creature and Sir John Allestree says Sir Hargrave wants no resolution
I suppose Mr Fenwick will come up if the other does But pray my Lucy let them know—Yet should you tell them that I am greatly averse to seeing them and that I will not see them if I can help it that will be giving them consequence in their own opinion and as the one pleads business it will be in the interpretation of so bold a man as Mr Greville making myself a part of it and denying his visit before it is offered They must in short do as they will if they are resoved to haunt me at the public places to which I am to go I am not so fond of shew and glitter but I can forbear going often to them
But to have done with these men—What an odd thing is it in my uncle to take hold of what I said in one of my Letters that I had a good mind to give you a sketch of what I might suppose the company at Lady Bettys would say of your Harriet were each to write her character to their confidents or correspondents as she has done theirs to you
I am apprehensive that his command on this occasion is owing to his hope to find room from what I write to charge me the heavier But be this as it may I will endeavour to obey him and the more readily as the task will be an exercise to my fancy—Which of you my dear friends was it that once called me a fanciful girl
To begin—Lady Betty who owns she thinks favourably of me I will suppose would write to her Lucy in such terms as these But shall I suppose every one to be so happy as to have her Lucy
Miss Byron of whom you have heard Mr Reeves talk so much discredits not in the main the character he has given her We must allow a little you know for the fondness of relationship
The girl has had a good education and owes all her advantages to it But it is a country and bookish one And that wont do every thing for one of our Sex if any thing. Poor thing She never was in town before—But she seems docile and for a country girl is tolerably geneteel I think therefore I shall receive no discredit by introducing her into the Beau Monde
Miss Clements perhaps agreeable to the goodness of her kind heart would have written thus
Miss Byron is an agreeable girl She has invited me to visit her and I hope I shall like her better and better She has one may see kept worthy persons company and I dare say will preserve the improvement she has gained by it She is lively and obliging She is young not more than twenty yet looks rather younger by reason of a country bloom which however misbecomes her not and gives a modesty to her first appearance that possesses one in her favour She is a great observer yet I think not censorious What a castaway would Miss Byron be if knowing so well as she seems to know what the duty of others is she should forget her own
Miss Cantillon would perhaps thus write
There was Miss Harriet Byron of Northamptonshire a young woman in whose favour report has been very lavish I cant say that I think her so very extraordinary Yet she is well enough for a country girl But tho I do not impute to her a very pert look yet if she had not been set up for something beyond what she is by all her friends who it seems are excessively fond of her she might have had a more humble opinion of herself than she seems to have when she is set a talking She may indeed make a figure in a country assembly but in the London world she must be not a little aukward having never been here before
I take her to have a great deal of art But to do her justice she has no bad complexion That you know is a striking advantage Nor are her features taking them either in whole or part much amiss But to me she has a babyish look especially when she smiles yet I suppose she has been told that her smiles become her for she is always smiling—So like a simpleton I was going to say
Upon the whole I see nothing so engaging in her as to have made her the idol she is with everybody—And what little beauty she has it cannot last For my part were I a man the clear Brunette—you will think I am praising myself
Miss Barnevelt would perhaps thus write to her Lucy—To her Lucy—Upon my word I will not let her have a Lucy—She shall have a brother man to write to not a woman and he shall have a fierce name We will suppose that she also had been describing the rest of the company
Well but my dear Bombardino I am now to give you a description of Miss Byron Tis the softest gentlest smiling rogue of a girl—I protest I could five or six times have kissed her for what she said and for the manner she spoke in—For she has been used to prate a favourd child in her own family one may easily see that Yet so prettily loth to speak till spoken to—Such a blushing little rogue—Tis a dear girl and I wishd twenty times as I sat by her that I had been a man for her sake Upon my honour Bombardino I believe if I had I should have caught her up popt her under one of my arms and run away with her
Something like this my Lucy did Miss Barnevelt once say
Having now dismissed the women I come to Mr Singleton Mr Walden and Sir Hargrave
Mr Walden himself a Pasquin would thus perhaps have written to his Marforio
The first Lady whom as the greatest stranger I shall take upon me to describe is Miss Harriet Byron of Northamptonshire In her person she is not disagreeable and most people think her pretty But what is prettiness Why nevertheless in a woman prettiness is—pretty what other word can I so fitly use of a person who tho a little sightly cannot be called a beauty I will allow that we men are not wrong in admiring modest women for the graces of their persons But let them be modest let them return the compliment and revere Us for our capaciousness of mind And so they will if they are brought up to know their own weakness and that they are but domestic animals of a superior order Even ignorance let me tell you my Marforio is pretty in a woman Humility is one of their principal graces Women hardly ever set themselves to acquire the knowlege that is proper to men but they neglect for it what more indispensably belongs to women To have them come to their husbands to their brothers and even to their lovers when they have a mind to know any-thing out of their way and beg to be instructed and informed inspireth them with the becoming humility which I have touched upon and giveth us importance with them
Indeed my Marforio there are very few topics that arise in conversation among men upon which women ought to open their lips Silence becomes them Let them therefore hear wonder and improve in silence They are naturally contentious and lovers of contradiction Something like this Mr Walden once threw out And you know who my Lucy has said as much and shall we qualify them to be disputants against ourselves
These reflections Marforio are not foreign to my subject This girl this Harriet Byron is applauded for a young woman of reading and observation
vation But there was another Lady present Miss Clements who if there be any merit to a woman in it appeareth to me to excel her in the compass of her reading and that upon the strength of her own diligence and abilities for this Miss Harriet hath had some pains taken with her by her late grandfather a man of erudition who had his education among us This old gentleman I am told took it into his head having no grandson to give this girl a bookish turn but he wisely stopt at her mothertongue only giving her a smattering in French and Italian
As I saw that the eyes of every one were upon her I was willing to hear what she had to say for herself Poor girl She will suffer I doubt for her speciousness Yet I cannot say all things considered that she was very malapert That quality is yet to come She is young
I therefore trifled a little with her And went farther than I generally choose to go with the reading species of women in order to divert an inundation of nonsense and foppery breaking in from one of the company Sir Hargrave Pollexfen Of whom more anon You know Marforio that a man when he is provokd to fight with an overgrown boy hath everybody against him So hath a scholar who engageth on learned topics with a woman The Sex must be flatterd at the expence of truth Many things are thought to be pretty from the mouth of a woman which would be egregiously weak and silly proceeding from that of a man His very eminence in learning on such a contention would tend only to exalt her and depreciate himself As the girl was everybodys favourite and as the Baronet seemed to eye her with particular regard I spared her A man would not you know spoil a girls fortune
But how shall I be able to tell you what I imagine Sir Hargrave would have written Can I do it if I place him in the light of a Lover and not either underdo his character as such or incur the censure of vanity and conceit
Well but are you sure Harriet methinks my uncle asks that the Baronet is really and truly so egregiously smitten with you as he pretended he was
Why ay Thats the thing Sir
You girls are so apt to take in earnest the compliments made you by men
And so we are But our credulity my dear Sir is a greater proof of our innocence than mens professions are of their sincerity So let losers speak and winners laugh
But let him be in jest if he will In jest or in earnest Sir Hargrave must be extravagant I ween in lovespeeches And that I may not be thought wholly to decline this part of my task I will suppose him professing with Hudibras after he has praised me beyond measure for graces of his own creation
The sun shall now no more dispense
His own but Harriets influence
Whereeer she treads her feet shall set
The primrose and the violet
All spices perfumes and sweet powders
Shall borrow from her breath their odours
Worlds shall depend upon her eye
And when she frowns upon them die
And what if I make him address me by way of apostrophe shall I say writing to his friend in the following strain
My faith my friend is adamantine
As chains of destiny Ill maintain
True as Apollo ever spoke
Or oracle from heart of oak
Then shine upon me but benignly
With that one and that other pigsnye
The sun and day shall sooner part
Than love or you shake off my heart
Well but what my Harriet would honest Mr Singleton have written methinks you ask had he written about you
Why thus perhaps my Lucy And to his grandmother for she is living
We had rare fun at dinner and after dinner my grandmother There was one Miss Barnevelt a fine tall portly young Lady There was Miss Clements not handsome but very learned and who as was easy to perceive could hold a good argument on occasion There was Miss Cantillon as pretty a young Lady as one should wish to behold in a summers day And there was one Miss Byron a Northamptonshire Lady whom I never saw before in my born days There was Mr Walden a famous scholar I thought him very entertaining for he talkd of learning and suchlike things which I know not so much of as I wish I did because my want of knowing a little Latin and Greek has made my understanding look less than other mens O my grandmother what a wise man would the being able to talk Latin and Greek have made me—And yet I thought that nowandthen Mr Walden made too great a fuss about his But there was a rich and noble Baronet richer than me as they say a great deal Sir Hargrove Pollexfun if I spell his name right A charming man and charmingly dressd And so many fine things he said and was so merry and so facetious that he did nothing but laugh as a man may say And I was as merry as him to the full Why not—O my grandmother What with the talk of the young country Lady that same Miss Byron for they put her upon talking a great deal what with the famous scholar who however being a learned
man could not be so merry as us what with Sir Hargrave I could live and die with Sir Hargrave You never knew my grandmother such a bright man as Sir Hargrave and what with one thing and what with another we boxed it about and had rare fun as I told you—So that when I got home and went to bed I did nothing but dream of being in the same company and three or four times waked myself with laughing
There Lucy—Will this do for Mr Singleton It is not much out of character I assure you
Monday Afternoon
THIS knight this Sir Rowland Meredith—He is below it seems his nephew in his hand Sir Rowland my Sally tells me in his gold button and buttonhole coat and fullbuckled wig Mr Fowler as spruce as a bridegroom What shall I do with Sir Rowland
What my Lucy can there be in the addresses of these men that even those who are indifferent to us can put ones spirits in an hurry But my dear it is painful to be obliged to deny the earnest suits of those who declare a Love for us
Expect another Letter next post And so you will if I did not bid you for have I missed one yet
Adieu my Lucy
H B
Monday Night Tuesday Morn Feb 6 7
SIR Rowland and his nephew tea being not quite ready sat down with my cousins and the knight leaving Mr Fowler little to say expatiated so handsomely
on his nephews good qualities and great passion for me and on what he himself proposed to do for him in addition to his own fortune that my cousins knowing I liked not the gentlemen in our own neighbourhood and thought very indifferently of SirHargrave were more than half inclined to promote the addresses of Mr Fowler and gave them both room to think so
This favourable disposition set the two gentlemen up They were impatient for tea that they might see me
By the time I had sealed up my Letters word was brought me that tea was ready and I went down
The knight it seems as soon as they heard me coming jogged Mr Fowler—Nephew said he pointing to the door see what you can say to the Primrose of your heart—This is now the Primroseseason with us in Caermarthen Mr Reeves
Mr Fowler by a stretch of complaisance came to meet and introduce me to the company tho at home The knight nodded his head after him smiling as if he had said Let my nephew alone to gallant the Lady to her seat
I was a little surprised at Mr Fowlers approaching me the moment I appeared and with his taking my hand and conducting me to my seat with an air not knowing how much he had been raised by the conversation that had passed before
He bowed I courtesied and looked a little sillier than ordinary I believe
Your servant young Lady said the knight Lovelier and lovelier by Mercy How these blushes become that sweet face—But forgive me madam it is not my intent to dash you
Writing Miss Byron all day said Mrs Reeves We have greatly missed you
My cousin seemed to say this on purpose to give me time to recover myself
I have blotted several sheets of paper said I and had just concluded
I hope madam said the knight leaning forward his whole body and peering in my face under his bent brows that we have not been the cause of hastening you down
I stared But as he seemed not to mean any-thing, I would not help him to a meaning by my own overquickness
Mr Fowler had done an extraordinary thing and sat down hemmed and said nothing looking however as if he was at a loss to know whether he or his uncle was expected to speak
The cold weather was then the subject and the two gentlemen rubbed their hands and drew nearer the fire as if they were the colder for talking of it Many hems passed between them now the uncle looking on the nephew now the nephew on the uncle At last they fell into talk of their newbuilt house at Caermarthen and the furnishing of it
They mentioned afterwards their very genteel neighbourhood and gave the characters of half a dozen people of whom none present but themselves ever heard but all tending to shew how much they were valued by the best gentry in Caermarthenshire
The knight then related a conversation that had once passed between himself and the late Lord Mansell in which that nobleman had complimented him on an estate of a clear 3000 l a year besides a good deal of ready cash and with supposing that he would set up his nephew when at age for it was some years ago as a representative for the county And he repeated the prudent answer he gave his Lordship disavowing such a design as no better than a gaming propensity as he called it which had ruined many a fair estate
This sort of talk in which his nephew could bear a part and indeed they had it all between them held the teatime and then having given themselves the
consequence they had seemed to intend the knight drawing his chair nearer me and winking to his nephew who withdrew began to set forth the young gentlemans good qualities to declare the passion he had for me and to beg my encouragement of so worthy so proper and so wellfavoured a young man who was to be his sole heir and for whom he would do such things on my account as during his life he would not do for any other woman breathing
There was no answering a discourse so serious with the air of levity which it was hardly possible to avoid assuming on the first visit of the knight
I was vexed that I found myself almost as bashful as silly and as silent as if I had thoughts of encourageing Mr Fowlers addresses My cousins seemed pleased with my bashfulness The knight I once thought by the tone of his voice and his hum would have struck up a Welsh tune and danced for joy
Shall I call in my kinsman madam to confirm all I have said and to pour out the whole soul at your feet My boy is bashful But a little favour from that sweet countenance will make a man of him Let me let me call in my boy I will go for him myself and was going
Let me say one word Sir Rowland—before Mr Fowler comes in—before you speak to him—You have explained yourself unexceptionably I am obliged to you and Mr Fowler for your good opinion But this can never be
How madam can never be—I will allow that you shall take time for half a dozen visits or so that you may be able to judge of my nephews qualities and understanding and be convinced from his own mouth and heart and soul as I may say of his Love for you No need of time for him He poor man is fixed immoveably fixed But say you will take a weeks time or so to consider what you can do what you will do—And thats all I at present crave or indeed madam can allow you
I cannot doubt now Sir Rowland of what my mind will be a week hence as to this matter
How madam—Why we are all in the suds then—Why Mr Reeves Mrs Reeves—Whew with an halfwhistle—Why madam we shall at this rate be all untwisted—But after a pause by Mercy I will not be thus answered—Why madam would you have the conscience to break my poor boys heart—Come be as gracious as you look to be—Give me your hand—He snatched my hand In respect to his years I withdrew it not And give my boy your heart—Sweet soul Such sensible such goodnatured mantlings—Why you cant be cruel if you would—Dear Lady Say you will take a little time to consider of this matter Dont repeat those cruel words It can never be—What have you to object to my boy
Mr Fowler both by character and appearance Sir Rowland is a worthy man He is a modest man and modesty—
Well and so he is—Mercy I was afraid that his modesty would be an objection—
It cannot Sir Rowland with a modest woman I love I revere a modest man But indeed I cannot give hope where I mean not to encourage any
Your objection madam to my nephew—You must have seen something in him you dislike
I do not easily dislike Sir but then I do not easily like And I never will marry any man to whom I cannot be more than indifferent
Why madam he adores you—He—
That Sir is an objection unless I could return his Love My gratitude would be endangered
Excellent notions—With these notions madam you could not be ungrateful
That Sir is a risque I will never run How many bad wives are there who would have been good ones had they not married either to their dislike or with
indifference Good beginnings Sir Rowland are necessary to good progresses and to happy conclusions
Why so they are But beginnings that are not bad with good people will make no bad progresses no bad conclusions
No bad is not good Sir Rowland and in such a world as this shall people lay themselves open to the danger of acting contrary to their duty Shall they suffer themselves to be bribed either by conveniencies or superfluities to give their hands and leave their hearts doubtful or indifferent It would not be honest to do so
You told me madam the first time I had the honour to see you that you were absolutely and bonâfide disengaged
I told you truth Sir
Then madam we will not take your denial We will persevere We will not be discouraged What a duce Have I not heard it said that faint heart never won fair Lady
I never would give an absolute denial Sir were I to have the least doubt of my mind If I could balance I would consult my friends and refer to them and their opinion should have due weight with me But for your nephews sake Sir Rowland while his esteem for me is young and conquerable urge not this matter farther I would not give pain to a worthy heart
As I hope for mercy madam so well do I like your notions that if you will be my niece and let me but converse with you once a day I will be contented with an hundred pounds a year and settle upon you all I have in the world
His eyes glistened his face glowed an honest earnestness appeared in his countenance
Generous man good Sir Rowland said I I was affected I was forced to withdraw
I soon returned and found Sir Rowland his handkerchief
in his hand applying very earnestly to my cousins And they were so much affected too that on his resuming the subject to me they could not help putting in a word or two on his s•de of the question
Sir Rowland then proposed to call in his nephew that he might speak for himself My boy may be overawed by Love madam True Love is always fearful Yet he is no milksop I do assure you To men he has courage How he will behave to you madam I know not for really notwithstanding that sweetness of aspect which I should have thought would have led one to say what one would to you in modesty I mean I have a kind of I cannottellwhat for you myself Reverence it is not neither I think—I only reverence my Maker—And yet I believe it is Why madam your face is one of God Almightys wonders in a little compass—Pardon me—You may blush—But be gracious now—Dont shew us that with a face so encouragingly tender you have an hard heart
O Sir Rowland you are an excellent advocate But pray tell Mr Fowler—
I will call him in—And was rising
No dont But tell Mr Fowler that I regard him on a double account for his own worths sake and for his uncles But subject me not I once more entreat you to the pain of repulsing a worthy man I repeat that I am under obligation to him for the value he has for me I shall be under more if he will accept of my thanks as all I have to return
My dear Miss Byron said Mr Reeves oblige Sir Rowland so far as to take a little time to consider—
God bless you on earth and in heaven Mr Reeves for this You are a good man—Why ay take a little time to consider—God bless you madam take a little time Say you will consider You know not what a man of understanding my nephew is Why
madam modest as he is and awed by his Love for you he cannot shew half the good sense he is master of
Modest men must have merit Sir But how can you Mr Reeves make a difficult task more difficult And yet all is from the goodness of your heart You see Sir Rowland thinks me cruel I have no cruelty in my nature I love to oblige I wish to match you in generosity Sir Rowland—Ask me for any-thing but myself and I will endeavour to oblige you
Admirable by mercy Why everything you say instead of making me desist induces me to persevere There is no yielding up such a prize if one can obtain it Tell me Mr Reeves where there is such another woman to be had and we may give up Miss Byron But I hope she will consider of it—Pray madam—But I will call in my nephew And out he went in haste as if he were afraid of being again forbidden
Mean time my cousins put it to me—But before I could answer them the knight followed by his nephew returned
Mr Fowler entered bowing in the most respectful manner He looked much more dejected than when he approached me at my first coming down His uncle had given him an hint of what had passed between us
Mr Fowler and I had but just sat down when the knight said to Mr Revees but took him not by the button as in his first visit One word with you Sir—Mr Reeves one word with you if you please
They withdrew together and presently after Mrs Reeves went out at the other door and I was left alone with Mr Fowler
We both sat silent for about three or four minutes I thought I ought not to begin Mr Fowler knew not how He drew his chair nearer to me then sat a little farther off then drew it nearer again stroked his ruffles and hemmed two or three times and at last You cannot madam but observe my confusion my
concern my my my confusion—It is all owing to my reverence my respect my reverence for you—hem—He gave two gentle hems and was silent
I could not enjoy the modest mans aukwardness—Every feature of his face working his hands and his knees trembling and his tongue faltering how barbarous had I been if I could—O Lucy what a disqualifier is Love if such agitations as these are natural effects of that passion
Sir Rowland has been acquainting me Sir said I with the good opinion you have of me I am very much obliged to you for it I have been telling Sir Rowland—
Ah madam Say not what you have been telling Sir Rowland He has hinted it to me I must indeed confess my unworthiness yet I cannot forbear aspireing to your favour Who that knows what will make him the happiest of men however unworthy he may be can forbear seeking his happiness I can only say I am the most miserable of men if—
Good Mr Fowler interrupted I indulge not an hope that cannot be answered I will not pretend to say that I should not merit your esteem if I could return it because to whomsoever I should give my hand I would make it a point of duty to deserve his affection But for that very reason and that I may have not temptation to do otherwise I must be convinced in my own mind that there is not a man in the world whom I could value more than him I chose
He sighed I was assured madam said he that your heart was absolutely disengaged On that assurance I founded my presumptuous hope
And so it is Mr Fowler I have never yet seen a man whom I could wish to marry
Then madam may I not hope that time that my assiduities that my profound reverence my unbounded Love—
O Mr Fowler think me not either insensible or
ungrateful But time I am sure can make no alteration in this case I can only esteem you and that from a motive which I think has selfishness in it because you have shewn a regard for me
No selfishness in this motive madam it is amiable gratitude And if all the services of my life if all the adoration—
I have a very indifferent notion of sudden impressions Mr Fowler But I will not question the sincerity of a man I think so worthy Sir Rowland has been very urgent with me He has wished me to take time to consider I have told him I would if I could doubt But that I cannot For your own sake therefore let me entreat you to place your affections elsewhere And may you place them happily
You have madam I am afraid seen men whom you could prefer to me—
Our acquaintance Mr Fowler is very short It would be no wonder if I had Yet I told you truly that I never yet saw a man whom I could wish to marry
He looked down and sighed
But Mr Fowler to be still more frank and explicit with you as I think you a very worthy man I will own that were any of the gentlemen I have hitherto known to be my lot it must be I think in compassion in gratitude I had almost said one who nevertheless it cannot be who has professed a love for me ever since I was a child A man of honour of virtue of modesty such a man as I believe Mr Fowler is His fortune indeed is not so considerable as Sir Rowland says yours will be But Sir as there is no other reason on the comparison why I should prefer Mr Fowler to him I should think the worse of myself as long as I lived if I gave a preference over such a tried affection to fortune only And now Sir I expect that you will make a generous use of my frankness lest the gentleman if you should know him
may hear of it And this I request for his sake as I think I can never be his as for yours I have been thus explicit
I can only say that I am the most miserable of men—But will you madam give me leave to visit Mr Reeves nowandthen
Not on my account Mr Fowler Understand it so and if you see me let it be with indifference and without expectation from me and I shall always behave myself to you as to a man who has obliged me by his good opinion
He bowed Sat in silence Pulled out his handkerchief—I pitied him
But let me ask all you my friends who Love Mr Orme Was I wrong I think I never could Love Mr Fowler as a wife ought to love her husband—May he meet with a worthy woman who can And surely so good so modest a man and of such an ample fortune easily▪ may While it may be my lot if ever I marry to be the wife of a man with whom I may not be so happy as either Mr Orme or Mr Fowler would probably make me could I prevail upon myself to be the wife of either O my uncle often do I reflect on your mercers shop
Mr Fowler arose and walked disconsolately about the room and often profoundly and I believe not Grevillelike sincerely sighed His motion soon brought in the knight and Mr Reeves at one door and Mrs Reeves at the other
Well What news What news—Good I hope said the knight with spread hands—Ah my poor boy Thus alamort Surely madam—
There he stopt and looked wistfully at me then at my cousins—Mr Reeves Mrs Reeves speak a good word for my boy The heart that belongs to that countenance cannot be adamant surely—Dear young Lady let your power be equalled by your mercy
Mr Fowler Sir Rowland has too much generosity
to upbraid me I dare say Nor will you think me either perverse or ungenerous when he tells you what has passed between us
Have you given him hope then God grant it tho but distant hope Have you said you will consider—Dear blessed Lady—
O Sir interrupted I how good you are to your nephew How worthily is your Love placed on him What a proof is it of his merit and of the goodness of your heart—I shall always have an esteem for you both—Your excuse Sir Rowland Yours Mr Fowler Be so good as to allow me to withdraw
I retired to my own apartment and throwing myself into a chair reflected on what had passed and after a while recollected myself to begin to write it down for you
As soon as I had withdrawn Mr Fowler with a sorrowful heart as my cousins told me related all that I had said to him
Mr Reeves was so good as to praise me for what he called my generosity to Mr Orme as well as for my frankness and civility to Mr Fowler
That was the duce of it Sir Rowland said that were they to have no remedy they could not find any fault in me to comfort themselves with
They put it over and over to my cousin Whether time and assiduity might not prevail with me to change my mind And whether an application to my friends in the country might not on settingevery thing fairly before them be of service But Mr Reeves told them that now I had opened so freely my mind and had spoken so unexpectedly yet so gratefully in favour of Mr Orme he feared there could be no hopes
However both gentlemen at taking leave recommended themselves to Mr and Mrs Reeves for their interests and the knight vowed that I should not come off so easily
So much and adieu my Lucy for the addresses of worthy Mr Fowler Pray however for your Harriet that she may not draw a worse lot
Tuesday Morning
AT a private concert last night with my cousins and Miss Clements and again to be at the play this night I shall be a racketer I doubt
Mr Fowler called here this morning Mrs Reeves and I were out on a visit But Mr Reeves was at home and they had a good deal of discourse about me The worthy man spoke so despairingly of his success with me that I hope for his own sake I shall hear no more of his addresses and with the more reason as Sir Rowland will in a few days set out for Caermarthen
Sir Rowland called afterwards But Mr Reeves was abroad and Mrs Reeves and I were gone to Ludgatehill to buy a gown which is to be made up in all haste that I may the more fashionably attend Lady Betty Williams to some of the public entertainments I have been very extravagant But it is partly my cousins fault I send you inclosed a pattern of my silk I thought we were high in the fashion in Northamptonshire but all my cloaths are altering that I may not look frightful as the phrase is
But shall I as easily get rid of the Baronet think you as I hope I have of Mr Fowler He is come to town and by his own invention in a card to Mr Reeves is to be here tomorrow afternoon What signifies my getting out of the way He will see me at another time and I shall increase my own difficulties and his consequence if he thinks I am afraid of him
Wednesday Night
SIR Hargrave came before six oclock He was richly dressed He asked for Mr Reeves I was in my closet writing He was not likely to be the better received for the character Sir John Allestree gave of him
He excused himself for coming so early on the score of his impatience and that he might have a little discourse with them if I should be engaged before teatime
Was I within—I was—Thank heaven—I was very good
So he seemed to imagine that I was at home in compliment to him
Shall I give you from my cousins an account of the conversation before I went down You know Mrs Reeves is a nice observer
He had had he told my cousins a most uneasy time of it ever since he saw me The devil fetch him if he had had one hours rest He never saw a woman before whom he could love as he loved me By his soul he had no view but what was strictly honourable
He sometimes sat down sometimes walked about the room strutting and nowandthen adjusting something in his dress that nobody else saw wanted it He gloried in the happy prospects before him Not but he knew I had a little army of admirers But as none of them had met with encouragement from me he hoped there was room for him to flatter himself that he might be the happy man
I told you Mr Reeves said he that I will give you carte blanche as to settlements What I do for
so prudent a woman will be doing for myself I am not used Mr Reeves to boast of my fortune Then it seems he went up to the glass as if his person could not fail of being an additional recommendation but I will lay before you or before any of Miss Byrons friends Mr Deane if she pleases— my rentrolls There never was a betterconditioned estate She shall live in town or in the country as she thinks fit and in the latter at which of my seats she pleases I know I shall have no will but hers I doubt not your friendship Mr Reeves I hope for yours madam I shall have great pleasure in the alliance I have in view with every individual of your family—As if he would satisfy them of his friendship in the near relation as the only matter that could bear a doubt
Then he ran on upon the part I bore in the conversation at Lady Betty Williamss—By his soul only the wisest the wittiest the most gracefully modest of women—that was all—Then Ha ha ha hah poor Walden What a silly fellow He had caught a Tartar—Ha ha ha hah—Shaking his head and his gay sides Devil take him if ever he saw a Prig so fairly taken in—But I was a sly little rogue—He saw that—By all thats good I must myself sing small in her company—I will never meet at hardedge with her—If I did—and yet I have been thought to carry a good one I should be confoundedly gapped I can see that alluding to two knives I suppose gapping each other and winking with one eye and as Mrs Reeves described him looking as wise as if he would make a compliment to his penetration at the expence of his understanding But continued he as a woman is more an husbands than a man is a wifes Have all the men this prerogativenotion Lucy You know it is a better mans I shall have a pride worth boasting of if I can call such a jewel mine Poor Walden—Rot the fellow—I warrant he would not have so
knowing a wife for the world—Ha ha ha hah He is right It is certainly right for such narrow pedants to be afraid of learned women—Methinks I see the fellow conjurerlike circumscribed in a narrow circle putting into Greek what was better expressed in English and forbidding every ones approach within the distance of his wand—Hah hah hah—Let me die if ever I saw a tragicomical fellow better handled—Then the faces he made—Saw you ever Mr Reeves saw you ever in your life such a parcel of disastrous faces made by one man
Thus did Sir Hargrave laughingly run on Nor left he hardly any-thing for my cousins to say or to do but to laugh with him and to smile at him
On a message that tea was near ready I went down On my entering the room he addressed me with an air of kindness and freedom Charming Miss Byron said he I hope you are all benignity and compassion You know not what I have suffered since I had the honour to see you last bowing very low then rearing himself up holding back his head and seemed the taller for having bowed
Handsome fop thought I to myself I took my seat and endeavoured to look easy and free as usual finding something to say to my cousins and to him He begged that tea might be postponed for half an hour and that before the servants were admitted I would hear him relate the substance of the conversation that had passed between him and Mr and Mrs Reeves
Had not Sir Hargrave intended me an honour and had he not a very high opinion of the efficacy of eight thousand pounds a year in an address of this kind I dare say he would have supposed a little more prefacing necessary But after he had told me in few words how much he was attracted by my character before he saw me he thought fit directly to refer himself to the declaration he had made at Lady Betty Williamss
both to Mr Reeves and myself and then talked of large settlements boasted of his violent passion and besought my favour with the utmost earnestness
I would have played a little female trifling upon him and affected to take his professions only for polite raillery which men call making love to young women who perhaps are frequently but too willing to take in earnest what the wretches mean but in jest but the fervour with which he renewed as he called it his declaration admitted not of sooling and yet his volubility might have made questionable the sincerity of his declarations As therefore I could not think of encouraging his addresses I thought it best to answer him with openness and unreserve
To seem to question the sincerity of such professions as you make Sir Hargrave might appear to you as if I wanted to be assured But be pleased to know that you are directing your discourse to one of the plainesthearted women in England and you may therefore expect from me nothing but the simplest truth I thank you Sir for your good opinion of me but I cannot encourage your addresses
You cannot madam encourage my addresses And express yourself so seriously Good heaven He stood silent a minute or two looking upon me and upon himself as if he had said foolish girl knows she whom she refuses I have been assured madam recovering a little from his surprize that your affections are not engaged But surely it must be a mistake Some happy man—
Is it interrupted I a necessary consequence that the woman who cannot receive the addresses of Sir Hargrave Pollexsen must be engaged
Why madam—As to that—I know not what to say—But a man of my fortune and I hope not absolutely disagreeable either in person or temper of some rank in life—He paused then resuming—What
madam if you are as much in earnest as you seem can be your objection Be so good as to name it that I may know whether I cannot be so happy as to get over it
We do not we cannot all like the same person Women I have heard say are very capricious Perhaps I am so But there is a something we cannot always say what that attracts or disgusts us
Disgusts madam—Disgusts Miss Byron
I spoke in general Sir I dare say nineteen women out of twenty would think themselves favoured in the addresses of Sir Hargrave Pollexfen
But you madam are the twentieth that I must love And be so good as to let me know—
Pray Sir ask me not a reason for a peculiarity Do you not yourself shew a peculiarity in making me the twentieth
Your merit madam—
It would be vanity in me Sir interrupted I to allow a force to that plea You Sir may have more merit than perhaps the man I may happen to approve of better but—shall I say Pardon me Sir You do not—You do not hesitated I—hit my fancy—Pardon me Sir
If pardon depends upon my breath let me die if I do—Not hit your fancy madam And then he lookd upon himself all round Not hit your fancy madam
I told you Sir that you must not expect any-thing from me but the simplest truth You do me an honour in your good opinion and if my own heart were not in this case a very determined one I would answer you with more politeness But Sir on such an occasion as this I think it would not be honourable it would not be just to keep a man in an hours suspense when I am in none myself
And are you then angrily so determined Miss Byron
I am Sir
Confound me—And yet I am enough confounded—But I will not take an answer so contrary to my hopes Tell me madam by the sincerity which you boast are you not engaged in your affections Is there not some one happy man whom you prefer to all men
I am a free person Sir Hargrave It is no impeachment of sincerity if a free person answers not every question that may be put to her by those to whom she is not accountable
Very true madam But as it is no impeachment of your freedom to answer this question either negatively or affirmatively and as you glory in your frankness let me be beseech you to answer it Are you madam or are you not disengaged in your affections
Excuse me Sir Hargrave I dont think you are intitled to an answer to this question Nor perhaps would you be determined by the answer I should make to it whether negative or affirmative
Give me leave to say madam that I have some little knowledge of Mr Fenwick and Mr Greville and of their addresses They have both owned that no hopes have you given them yet declare that they will hope Have you madam been as explicit to them as you are to me
I have Sir
Then they are not the men I have to fear—Mr Orme madam—
Is a good man Sir
Ah madam—But why then will you not say that you are engaged
If I own I am perhaps it will not avail me It will much less if I say I am not
Avail you dear Miss Byron I have pride madam If I had not I should not aspire to your favour But give me leave to say and he reddened with anger that my fortune my descent and my ardent affection
for you considered it may not disavail you Your relations will at least think so if I may have the honour of your consent for applying to them
May your fortune Sir Hargrave be a blessing to you It will as you do good with it But were it twice as much that alone would have no charms for me My duties would be increased with my power My fortune is an humble one but were it less it would satisfy my ambition while I am single and if I marry I shall not desire to live beyond the estate of the man I choose
Upon my soul madam you must be mine Every word you speak adds a rivet to my chains
Then Sir let us say no more upon this subject
He then laid a title to my gratitude from the passion he avowed for me
That is a very poor plea Sir said I as you yourself would think I believe were one of our sex whom you could not like to claim a return of love from you upon it
You are too refined surely madam
Refined what meant the man by the word in this place
I believe Sir we differ very widely in many of our sentiments
We will not differ in one madam when I know yours such is the opinion I have of your prudence that I will adopt them and make them my own
This may be said Sir but there is hardly a man in the world that saying it would keep his word Nor a woman who ought to expect he should
But you will allow of my visits to your cousins madam
Not on my account Sir
You will not withdraw if I come You will not refuse seeing me
As you will be no visitor of mine I must be allowed to act accordingly Had I the least thought of encouraging
your addresses I would deal with you as openly as is consistent with my notions of modesty and decorum
Perhaps madam from my gay behaviour at Lady Betty Williamss you think me too airy a man You have doubts of my sincerity You question my honour
That Sir would be to injure myself
Your objections then dear madam Give me I beseech you some one material objection
Why Sir should you urge me thus—When I have no doubt it is unnecessary to look into my own mind for the particular reasons that move me to disapprove of the addresses of a gentleman whose professions of regard for me notwithstanding intitle him to civility and acknowlegement
By my soul madam this is very comical
I do not like thee Dr Fell
The reason why I cannot tell—
But I dont like thee Dr Fell
Such madam seem to me to be your reasons
You are very pleasant Sir But let me say that if you are in earnest in your professions you could not have quoted any-thing more against you than these humorous lines since a dislike of such a nature as is implied by them must be a dislike arising from something resembling a natural aversion whether just or not is little to the purpose
I was not aware of that replied he But I hope yours to me is not such a one
Excuse me cousin said I turning to Mrs Reeves But I believe I have talked away the teatime
I think not of tea said she
Hang tea said Mr Reeves
The devil fly away with the teakettle said Sir Hargrave let it not have entrance here till I have said what I have further to say And let me tell you
Miss Byron that tho you may not have a dying lover you shall have a resolute one For I will not cease pursuing you till you are mine or till you are the wife of some other man
He spoke this fiercely and even rudely I was disgusted as much at his manner as with his words
I cannot replied I but congratulate myself on one felicity since I have been in your company Sir and that is That in this whole conversation and I think it much too long I have not one thing to reproach myself with or be sorry for
Your servant madam bowing—But I am of the contrary opinion By heaven madam with anger and an air of insolence I think you have pride madam—
Pride Sir
Cruelty—
Cruelty Sir—
Ingratitude madam
I thought it was staying to be insulted All that Sir John Allestree had said of him came into my head
Hold Sir for he seemed to be going on Pride Cruelty Ingratitude are crimes black enough If you think I am guilty of them excuse me that I retire for the benefit of recollection—And making a low courtesy I withdrew in haste He besought me to return and followed me to the stairs foot
He shewed his pride and his illnature too before my cousins when I was gone He bit his lip He walked about the room then sitting down he lamented defended accused and redefended himself and yet besought their interest with me
He was greatly disturbed he owned that with such honourable intetnions with so much POWER to make me happy and such a WILL to do so he should be refused and this without my assigning one reason for it
And my cousins to whom he again referred on that head answering him that they believed me disengaged in my affections—D—him he said if he could account then for my behaviour to him
He however threatned Mr Orme Who if any he said was the man I favoured I had acknowleged that neither Greville nor Fenwick were My proud repulse had stung him he owned He begged that they would send for me down in their names
They liked not the humour he seemed to be in well enough to comply with his request and he sent up in his own name
But I returned my compliments I was busy in writing And so I was—to you my Lucy I hoped Sir Hargrave and my cousins would excuse me I put them in to soften my refusal
This still more displeased him He besought their pardon▪ but he would haunt me like a ghost In spite of man and devil I should be his he had the presumption to repeat And went away with a flaming face
Dont you think my dear that my cousin Reeves was a little too mild in his own house as I am under his guardianship But perhaps he was the more patient for that very reason and he is one of the bestnatured men in England And then 8000l a year—Yet why should a man of my cousins independent fortune—But grandeur will have its charms
Thus did Sir Hargrave confirm all that Sir John Allestree had said of his bad qualities And I think I am more afraid of him than ever I was of any man before I remember that mischievous is one of the bad qualities Sir John attributed to him And revengeful another Should I ever see him again on the same errand I will be more explicit as to my being absolutely disengaged in my affections if I can be so without giving him hope lest he should do private mischief to some one on my account Upon my word I would not of all the men I have ever seen be the wife of Sir Hargrave Pollexfen
And so much for this first visit of his I wish his pride may be enough piqued to make it the last
But could you have thought he would have shewn
himself so soon—Yet he had paraded so much before I went down to my cousins and so little expected a direct and determined repulse that a man of his selfconsequence might perhaps be allowed to be the more easily piqued by it
Lady Betty has sent us notice that on Thursday next there will be a ball at the Operahouse in the Haymarket My cousins are to choose what they will be but she insists that my dress shall be left to her I am not to know what it is to be till the day before or the very day If I like it not she will not put me to any expence about it
You will easily imagine upon such an alternative I shall approve of it be it what it will I have only requested that I may not be so remarkably dressed as to attract the eyes of the company If I am I shall not behave with any tolerable presence of mind
Friday Feb 10
ONE of Mr Grevilles servants has just been here with his masters compliments So the wretch is come to town I believe I shall soon be able to oblige him He wishes you know to provoke me to say I hate him
Surely I draw inconveniencies upon myself by being so willing to pay civility for esteem Yet it is in my nature to do so and I cant help it without committing a kind of violence on my temper There is no merit therefore in my behaviour on such occasions Very pretty selfdeception—I study my own ease and before I consider am ready to call myself patient and goodhumoured and civil and to attribute to myself I know not how many kind and complaisant things when I ought in modesty to distinguish between the virtue and the necessity
I never was uncivil as I call it but to one young gentleman a man of quality you know who I mean and that was because he wanted me to keep secret his addresses to me for family considerations The young woman who engages to keep her lovers secrets in this particular is often brought into a plot against herself and oftener still against those to whom she owes unreserved honour and duty And is not such a conduct also an indirect confession that you know you are engaging in something wrong and unworthy
Mr Grevilles arrival vexes me I suppose it will not be long before Mr Fenwick comes too I have a good mind to try to like the modest Mr Orme the better in spite
Sat Morn Feb 11
I SHALL have nothing to trouble you with I think but scenes of courtship Sir Rowland Sir Hargrave and Mr Greville all met just now at our breakfasttime
Sir Rowland came first a little before breakfast was ready After enquiries of Mr Reeves whether I held in the same mind or not he desired to have the favour of one quarter of an hours conversation with me alone
Methinks I have a value for this honest knight Honesty my Lucy is good sense politeness amiableness all in one An honest man must appear in every light with such advantages as will make even singularity agreeable I went down directly
He met me and taking my notwithdrawn hand and peering in my face Mercy said he the same kind aspect The same sweet and obliging countenance How can this be But you must be gracious You will Say you will
You must not urge me Sir Rowland You will give me pain if you lay me under a necessity to repeal—
Repeat what Dont say a resusal Dear madam
dont say a resusal Will you not save a life Why madam my poor boy is absolutely and bona fide brokenhearted I would have had him come with me But no he could not bear to teaze the beloved of his soul Why theres an instance of love now Not for all his hopes not for his lifes sake could he bear to teaze you None of your sluttering Jacka dandys now would have said this And let not such succeed where modest merit fails—Mercy You are struck with my plea Dont dont God bless you now dont harden your heart on my observation I was resolved to set out in a day or two But I will stay in town were it a month to see my boy made happy And let me tell you I would not wish him to be happy unless he could make you so—Come come—
I was a little affected I was silent
Come come be gracious be merciful Dear lady be as good as you look to be One word of comfort for my poor boy I could kneel to you for one word of comfort—Nay I will kneel taking hold of my other hand as he still held one and down on his knees dropt the honest knight
I was surprised I knew not what to say what to do I had not the courage to attempt to lift him up Yet to see a man of his years and who had given himself a claim to my esteem kneel and with glistening eyes looking up to me for mercy as he called it on his boy how was I affected—But at last Rise dear Sir Rowland rise said I You call out for mercy to me yet have none upon me O how you distress me
I would have withdrawn my hands but he held them fast I stamped in tender passion I am sure it was in tender passion now with one foot now with the other Dear Sir Rowland rise I cannot bear this I beseech you rise And down I dropt involuntarily on one knee What can I say Rise dear Sir
on my knee I beg of you kneel not to me Indeed Sir you greatly distress me Pray let go my hands
Tears ran down his cheeks—And do I distress you madam And do you vouchsafe to kneel to me—I will not distress you For the world I will not distress you
He arose and let go my hands I arose too abashed He pulled out his handkerchief and hastening from me to the window wiped his eyes Then turning to me What a fool I am What a mere child I make of myself How can I blame my boy O madam have you not one word of comfort to send by me to my boy Say but you will see him Give him leave to wait on you Yet poor soul wiping his eyes again he would not be able to say a word in his own behalf—Bid me bring him to you Bid us come together
And so I could and so I would Sir Rowland if no other expectations were to be formed than those of civility But I will go farther to shew my regard for you Sir Let me be happy in your friendship and good opinion Let me look upon you as my Father Let me look upon Mr Fowler as my Brother I am not so happy as to have either father or brother And let Mr Fowler own me as his Sister and every visit you make me you will both in these characters be dearer to me than before—But O my father already will I call you father Urge not your daughter to an impossibility▪
Mercy Mercy What will become of me What will become of my boy rather
He turned from me with his handkerchief at his eyes again and even sobbed Where are all my purposes▪ Irresistible Lady—But must I give up my hopes Must my boy be told—And yet do you call me father and do you plead for my indulgence as if you were my daughter
Indeed I do indeed I must I have told Mr Fowler
with so much regard for him as an honest as a worthy man—
Why thats the weapon that wounds him that cuts him to the heart Your gentleness your openness—And are you determined Can there be no hope
Mr Fowler is my brother Sir and you are my father—Accept me in those characters
Accept you Mercy Accept you—Forgive me madam catching my hand and pressing it with his lips you do me honour in the appellation But if your mind should change on consideration and from motives of pity—
Indeed indeed Sir Rowland it cannot change
Why then I as well as my nephew must acquiesce with your pleasure But madam you dont know what a worthy creature he is I will not however teaze you—But how but how shall I see Mr Reeves I am ashamed to see him with this baby in my face
And I Sir Rowland must retire before I can appear Excuse me Sir withdrawing but I hope you will breakfast with us
I will drink tea with you madam if I can make myself fit to be seen were it but to claim you for my daughter But yet had much rather you would be a farther remove in relation: Would to God you would let it be neice
I courtisied as a daughter might do parting with her real father and withdrew
And now my Lucy will you not be convinced that one of the greatest pains the loss of dear friends excepted that a grateful mind can know is to be too much beloved by a worthy heart and not to be able to return his love
My sheet is ended With a new one I will begin another Letter—Yet a few words in the margin—I tell you not my dear of the public entertainments to which lady Betty is continually contriving to draw me out She intends by it to be very obliging and is
so But my present reluctance to go so very often must not be overcome as it possibly would be too easily done were I to give way to the temptation If it be your Harriet may turn gadfly and never be easy but when she is forming parties or giving way to them that may make the home that hitherto has been the chief scene of her pleasures undelightful to her Bad habits are sooner acquired than shaken off as my grandmamma has often told us
WHO would have thought that a man of Sir Rowlands time of life and a woman so young as I could have so much discomposed each other I obeyd the summons to breakfast and enterd the room at one door as he came in at the other In vain had I made use of the short retirement to conceal my emotion from my cousins They also saw Sir Rowlands by his eyes and looked at him at me and at each other
Mercy said Sir Rowland in an accent that seemd between crying and laughing You you you madam are a surprising lady I I I never was so affected in my life And he drew the back of his hand cross first one eye then the other
O Sir Rowland said I you are a good man How affecting are the visible emotions of a manly heart
My cousins still looked as if surprizd but said nothing
O my cousins said I I have found a father in Sir Rowland and I acknowlege a brother in Mr Fowler
Best of women Most excellent of creatures And do you own me He snatched my hand and kissd it What pride do you give me in this open acknowlegement If it must not be niece why then I will endeavour to rejoice in my daughter I think But yet
my boy my poor boy—But you are all goodness And with him I say I must not teaze you
What you have been saying to each other alone said Mrs Reeves I cannot tell But I long to know
Why madam I will tell you—if I know how—You must know that I that I came as an ambassadorextraordinary from my sorrowful boy Yet not desired not sent I came of my own accord in hopes of getting one word of comfort and to bring matters on before I set out for Caermarthen
The servant coming in and a loud rap rap rap on the footmans musical instrument the knocker of the door put a stop to Sir Rowlands narrative In apprehension of company I breathed on my hand and put it to either eye and Sir Rowland hemmed twice or thrice and rubbed his the better to conceal their redness tho it made them redder than before He got up lookd at the glass Would have sung Toll doll—Hem said he as if the muscles of his face were in the power of his voice Mercy All the infant still in my eye—Toll doll—Hem—I would sing it away if I could
Sir Hargrave enterd bowing scraping to me and with an air not ungraceful
Servant Sir said the knight to Sir Hargraves silent salute to him bowing and looking at the baronets genteel morning dress and then at his own—Who the duce is he whispering to Mr Reeves Who then presented each to the other by namé
The baronet approached me I have madam a thousand pardons to ask—
Not one Sir
Indeed I have—And most heartily do I beg—
You are forgiven Sir—
But I will not be so easily forgiven
Mercy whispered the knight to Mr Reeves I dont liken Ah my poor boy No wonder at this rate—
You have not much to fear Sir Rowland rewhisperd my cousin on this gentlemans account
Thank you thank you—And yet tis a fine figure of a man whisperd again Sir Rowland Nay if she can withstand him—But a word to the wise Mr Reeves—Hem—I am a little easier than I was
He turned from my cousin with such an air as if from contrasted pleasure and pain he would again have sung Toll doll
The servant came in with the breakfast And we had no sooner sat down as before than we were alarmed by another modern rapping Mr Reeves was called out and returnd introducing Mr Greville
Who the duce is he whisperd to me Sir Rowland as he sat next me before Mr Reeves could name him
Mr Greville profoundly bowed to me I asked after the health of all our friends in Northamptonshire
Have you seen Fenwick madam—No Sir
A dog I thought he had played me a trick I missed him for three days—But in a low voice if you have not seen him I have stolen a march upon him—Well I had rather ask his pardon than he should ask mine I rejoice to see you well madam raising his voice—But what—looking at my eyes
Colds are very rife in London Sir—
I am glad it is no worse for your grandmamma and all friends in the country are well
I have found a papa Mr Greville referring to Sir Rowland since I came to town This good gentleman gives me leave to call him father
No son—I hope Sir Rowland you have no son said Mr Greville The relation comes not about that way I hope And laughed as he used to do at his own smartness
The very question I was going to put by my soul said the baronet
No—said the knight But I have a nephew gentlemen—A very pretty young fellow And I have this to say before ye all I am downright Dunstable I had much rather call this Lady niece than daughter And then the knight forced a laugh and looked round upon us all
O Sir Rowland replied I I have uncles more than one—I am a niece But I have not had for many years till now the happiness of a father
And do you own me madam before all this gay company—The first time I beheld you I remember I called you a perfect paragon Why madam you are the most excellent of women
We are so much convinced of this Sir Rowland said the Baronet that I dont know but Miss Byrons choosing you for a father instead of an uncle may have saved two or three throats And then he laughd His laugh was the more seasonable as it softend the shockingness of his expression
Mr Greville and the Baronet had been in company twice before in Northamptonshire at the races But nowandthen lookd upon each other with envious eyes and once or twice were at crosspurposes But my particular notice of the knight made all pass lightly over
Sir Rowland went first away He claimed one word with his daughter in the character of a father
I withdrew with him to the farther end of the room
Not one word of comfort not one word madam—to my boy whisperd he
My compliments speaking low to my brother Sir▪ I wish him as well and as happy as I think he deserves to be
Well but—Well but—
Only remember Sir Rowland that you act in character I followed you hither on the strength of your authority as a father I beg Sir that you will preserve to me that character
Why God in heaven bless my daughter if only daughter you can be Too well do I understand you I will see how my poor nephew will take it If it can be no otherwise I will prevail upon him I think to go down with me to Caermarthen for a few months—But as to those two fine gentlemen madam—It would grieve me tis a folly to deny it to say I have seen the man that is to supplant my nephew
I will act in character Sir Rowland As your daughter you have a right to know my sentiments on this subject—You have not yet seen the man you seem to be afraid of
You are all goodness madam—my daughter—and I cannot bear it
He spoke this loud enough to be heard and Mr Greville and the baronet both with some emotion rose and turned about to us
Once more Sir Rowland said I my compliments to my brother—Adieu
God in heaven bless you madam thats all—Gentlemen your servant Mrs Reeves your most obedient humble servant Madam to me you will allow me and my nephew too one more visit I hope before I set out for Caermarthen
I courtesied and joined my cousins Away went the knight brushing the ground with his hat at his going out Mr Reeves waited on him to the outward door
Bye bye to you Mr Reeves—with some emotion as my cousin told me afterwards—A wonderful creature By mercy a wonderful creature—I go away with my heart full yet am pleased I know not why neither thats the jest of it—Bye Mrs Reeves I can stay no longer
An odd mortal said the man of the town—But he seems to know on which side his bread is buttered
A whimsical old fellow said the man of the country But I rejoice that he has not a son thats all
A good many frothy things passed not worth relateing
I wanted them both to be gone They seemed each to think it time but looked as if neither cared to leave the other behind him
At last Mr Greville who hinted to me that he knew I loved not too long an intrusion bowed and politely enough took his leave And then the Baronet began with apoligizing for his behaviour at taking leave on his last visit
Some gentlemen I said had one way some another of expressing themselves on particular occasions He had thought fit to shew me what was his
He seemed a little disconcerted But quickly recovering himself he could not indeed excuse himself he said for having then called me cruel—Cruel he hoped he should not find me—Proud—I knew not what pride was Ungrateful—I could not be guilty of ingratitude He begged me to forgive his peremptoriness—He had hoped as he had been assured that my affections were absolutely disengaged that the proposals he had to make would have been acceptable and so positive a resusal without any one reason assigned and on his first visit had indeed hurt his pride he owned he said that he had some pride and made him forget that he was addressing himself to a woman who deserved and met with the veneration of every one who approached her He next expressed himself with apprehensions on Mr Grevilles arrival in town He spoke slightly of him Mr Greville I doubt not will speak as slightly of Sir Hargrave And if I believe them both I fansy I shall not injure either
Mr Grevilles arrival I said ought not to concern me He was to do as he thought fit I was only desirous to be allowed the same free agency that I was ready to allow to others
That could not be he said Every man who saw me must wish me to be his and endeavour to obtain his wishes
And then making vehement professions of Love he
offered me large settlements and to put it in my power to do all the good that he knew it was in my heart to do—And that I should prescribe to him in every thing as to place of residence excursions even to the going abroad to France to Italy and whereever I pleased
To all which I answered as before and when he insisted upon my reasons for resusing him I frankly told him tho I owned it was with some reluctance that I had not the opinion of his morals that I must have of those of the man to whom I gave my hand in marriage
Of my morals madam starting and his colour went and came My morals madam—I thought he looked with malice But I was not intimidated And yet my cousins looked at me with some little surprize for my plain dealing tho not as blaming me
Be not displeased Sir with my freedom You call upon me to make objections I mean not to upbraid you that is not my business but thus called upon I must repeat—I stopt
Proceed madam angrily
Indeed Sir Hargrave you must pardon me on this occasion if I repeat that I have not that opinion of your morals—
Very well madam—
That I must have of those of the man on whose worthiness I must build my hopes of present happiness and to whose guidance intrust my future This Sir is a very material consideration with me tho I am not fond of talking upon it except on proper occasions and to proper persons But Sir let me add that I am determined to live longer single I think it too early to engage in a life of care And if I do not meet with a man to whom I can give my whole heart I never will marry at all O how maliciously looked the man—You are angry Sir Hargrave added I but you have no right to be so You address me as
one who is her own mistress And tho I would not be thought rude I value myself on my openness of heart
He arose from his seat He walked about the room muttering You have no opinion of my morals—By heaven madam—But I will bear it all—Yet No opinion of my morals—I cannot bear that—
He then clenched his fist and held it up to his head and snatching up his hat bowing to the ground to us all his face crimsoned over as the time before he withdrew
Mr Reeves attended him to the door—Not like my morals said he—I have enemies Mr Reeves—Not like my morals—Miss Byron treats politely every body but me Sir Her scorn may be repaid—Would to God I could say with scorn Mr Reeves—Adieu Excuse my warmth—Adieu
And into his chariot he stept pulling up the glasses with violence and as Mr Reeves told us rearing up his head to the top of it as he sat swelling And away it drove
His menacing airs and abrupt departure terrified me I did not recover myself in an hour
A fine husband for your Harriet would this half madman make—O Mr Fowler Sir Rowland Mr Orme what good men are you to Sir Hargrave Should I have known half so much as I do of his ill qualities had I not refused him Drawn in by his professions of Love and by 8000 l a year I might have married him and when too late found myself miserable yoked with a tyrant and madman for the remainder of a life begun with happy prospects and glorying in every ones Love
Monday February 13
I Have received my uncles long Letter And I thank him for the pains he has taken with me He is very good But my grandmamma and my aunt are equally so and in the main much kinder in acquitting me of some charges which he is pleased to make upon his poor Harriet But either for caution or reproof I hope to be the better for his Letter
James is set out for Northamptonshire Pray receive him kindly He is honest And Sally has given me an hint as if a sweetheart is in his head If so his impatience to leave London may be accounted for My grandmamma has observed that young people of small or no fortunes should not be discouraged from marrying Who that could be masters or mistresses would be servants The honest poor as she has often said are a very valuable part of the creation
Mr Reeves has seen several footmen but none that he gave me the trouble of speaking to till just now when a welllooking young man about twentysix years of age offered himself and whom I believe I shall like Mrs Reeves seems mightily taken with him He is wellbehaved has a very sensible look and seems to merit a better service
Mr Reeves has written for a character of him to the last master he lived with Mr Bagenhall a young gentleman in the neighbourhood of Reading Of whom he speaks well in the main but modestly objected to his hours and free way of life The young man came to town but yesterday and is with a widow sister who keeps an inn in Smithfield I have a mind to like him and this makes me more particular about him
His name is William Wilson He asks pretty high wages But wages to a good servant are not to be stood upon What signify forty or fifty shillings a year An honest servant should be enabled to lay up something for age and infirmity Hire him at once Mrs Reeves says She will be answerable for his honesty from his looks and from his answers to the questions asked him
Sir Hargrave has been here again Mrs Revees Miss Dolyns Miss Clements and I were in the back room together We had drank tea and I excused myself to his message as engaged
He talked a good deal to Mr Reeves Sometimes high sometimes humble He had not intended he said to have renewed his visits My disdain had stung him to the heart Yet he could not keep away He called himself names He was determined I should be his and swore to it A man of his fortune to be refused by a Lady who had not and whom he wished not to have an answerable fortune and no preserable liking to any other man There Sir Hargrave was mistaken for I like almost every man I know better than him his person not contemptible And then my cousin says he surveyed himself from head to foot in the glass was very very unaccountable
He asked if Mr Greville came up with any hopes
Mr Reeves told him that I was offended at his coming and he was sure he would not be the better for his journey
He was glad of that he said There were two or three free things proceeded he said to me in conversation by Mr Greville which I knew not well what to make of But they shall pass if he has no more to boast of than I I know Mr Grevilles blustering character but I wish the carrying of Miss Byron were to depend upon the swords point between us I would not come into so paltry a compromise with him as Fenwick has done But still the imputing
want of morals to me sticks with me Surely I am a better man in point of morals than either Greville or Fenwick What man on earth does not take liberties with the Sex Hay you know Mr Reeves Women were made for us And they like us not the worse for loving them Want of morals—And objected to me by a lady—Very extraordinary by my soul—Is it not better to sow all ones wild oats before matrimony than run riot afterwards—What say you Mr Reeves
Mr Reeves was too patient with him He is a mild man Yet wants not spirit my cousin says on occasion He gave Sir Hargrave the hearing who went away swearing that I should be his in spite of man or devil
Monday Night
MR Greville came in the Evening He begged to be allowed but ten words with me in the next room I desired to be excused You know Sir said I that I never complied with a request of this nature at Selbyhouse He looked hard at my cousins and first one then the other went out He then was solicitous to know what were Sir Hargraves expectations from me He expressed himself uneasy upon his account He hoped such a man as that would not be encouraged Yet his ample fortune—Woman woman—But he was neither a wiser nor a better man than himself And he hoped Miss Byron would not give a preference to fortune merely against a man who had been her admirer for so long a time and who wanted neither will nor power to make her happy
It was very irksome to me I answered to be obliged so often to repeat the same things to him I would not be thought assronting to anybody especially to a neighbour with whom my friends were upon good terms But I did not think myself answerable to him or to any one out of my own family
for my visitors or for whom my cousin Reevess thought fit to receive as theirs
Would I give him an assurance that Sir Hargrave should have no encouragement
No Sir I will not Would not that be to give you indirectly a kind of controul over me Would not that be to encourage an hope that I never will encourage
I love not my own soul madam as I love you I must and will persevere If I thought Sir Hargrave had the least hope by the great God of heaven I would pronounce his days numbered
I am but too well acquainted with your rashness Mr Greville What formerly passed between you and another gentleman gave me pain enough In such an enterprize your own days might be numbered as well as anothers But I enter not into this subject—Henceforth be so good as not to impute incivility to me if I deny myself to your visits
I would have withdrawn—
Dear Miss Byron stepping between me and the door leave me not in anger If matters must stand as they were I hope you can I hope you will assure me that this Sir Fopling—
What right have you Sir to any assurance of this nature from me
None madam—But from your goodness—Dear Miss Byron condescend to say that this Sir Hargrave shall not make any impression on your heart For his sake say it if not for mine I know you care not what becomes of me yet let not this milkfaced and tygerhearted fop for that is his character obtain favour from you Let your choice if it must fall on another man and not on me fall on one to whose superior merit and to whose good fortune I can subscribe For your own fames sake let a man of unquestionable honour be the happy man and vouchsafe as to a neighbour and as to a wellwishing friend
only I ask it not in the light of a Lover to tell me that Sir Hargrave Pollexfen shall not be the man
What Mr Greville let me ask you is your business in town
My chief business madam you may guess at I had an hint of this mans intentions given me and that he has the vanity to think he shall succeed But if I can be assured that you will not be prevailed upon in favour of a man whose fortune is so ample—
You will then return to Northamptonshire
Why madam I cant but say that now I am in town and that I have bespoke a new equipage and soforth—
Nay Sir it is nothing to me what you will or will not do Only be pleased to remember that as in Northamptonshire your visits were to my uncle Selby not to me they will be here in London to my cousin Reevess only
Too well do I know that you can be cruel if you will But is it your pleasure that I return to the country
My pleasure Sir Mr Greville is surely to do as he pleases I only wish to be allowed the same liberty
You are so very delicate Miss Byron So very much afraid of giving the least advantage—
And men are so ready to take advantage—But yet Mr Greville not so delicate as just I do assure you that if I were not determined—
Determined—Yes yes You can be steady as Mr Selby calls it I never knew so determined a woman in my life I own it was a little inconvenient for me to come to town just now And say that you would wish me to leave London and that neither this Sir Hargrave nor that other man your new fathers nephew What do you call him Foregad madam I am afraid of these new relations shall make any impression on your heart and that you will not
withdraw when I come here and I will set out next week and write this very night to let Fenwick know how matters stand and that I am coming down but little the better for my journey And this may save you seeing your other tormentor as your cousin Lucy says you once called that poor devil and the still poorer devil before you
You are so rash a man Mr Greville and other men may be as rash as you that I cannot say but it would save me some pain—
O take care take care Miss Byron that you express yourself so cautiously as to give no advantage to a poor dog who would be glad to take a journey to the farthest part of the globe to oblige you But what say you about this Sir Hargrave and about your new brother—Let me tell you madam I am so much afraid of those whining insinuating creeping dogs attacking you on the side of your compassion and be d—nd to them Orme for that that I must have a declaration And now madam cant you give it with your usual caution Cant you give it as I put it as to a neighbour as to a well wisher and soforth not as to a Lover
Well then Mr Greville as a neighbour as a wellwisher and since you own it was inconvenient to your affairs to come up—I advise you to go down again
The devil how you have hit it Your delicacy ought to thank me for the loopehole The condition madam The condition if I take your neighbourly advice
Why Mr Greville I do most sincerely declare to you as to a neighbour and wellwisher that I never yet have seen the man to whom I can think of giving my hand
Yes you have By heaven you have snatching my hand You shall give it to me—And the strange wretch pressed it so hard to his mouth that he made prints upon it with his teeth
Oh cried I withdrawing my hand surprized and my face as I could feel all in a glow
And Oh said he mimicking and snatching my other hand as I would have run from him and patting it speaking thro his closed teeth You may be glad you have an hand lest By my soul I could eat you
This was your disconsolate fallenspirited Greville Lucy
I rushed into the company in the next room He followed me with an air altogether unconcerned and begged to look at my hand whispering to Mrs Reeves By Jupiter said he I had like to have eaten up your lovely cousin I was beginning with her hand
I was more offended with this instance of his assureance and unconcern than with the freedom itself because that had the appearance of his usual gaiety with it I thought it best however not to be too serious upon it But the next time he gets me by himself he shall eat up both my hands
At taking leave he hoped his mad flight had not discomposed me See Miss Byron said he what you get by making an honest fellow desperate—But you insist upon my leaving the town As a neighbour as a wellwisher you advise it madam Come come dont be afraid of speaking after me when I endeavour to hit your cue
I do advise you—
Conditions remember You know what you have declared—Angel of a woman said he again thro his shut teeth
I left him and went up stairs glad I had got rid of him
He has since seen Mr Reeves and told him he will make me one visit more before he leaves London And pray tell her said he that I have actually written to my brothertormentor Fenwick that I am returning to Northamptonshire
I told you that Miss Clements was with me when Sir Hargrave came last I like her every time I see her better than before She has a sine understanding and if languages according to my grandfathers observation need not be deemed an indispensable part of learning she may be looked upon as learned
She has engaged me to breakfast with her tomorrow morning when she is to shew me her books needleworks and other curiosities Shall I not fansy myself in my Lucys closet How continually amid all this fluttering scene do I think of my dear friends in Northamptonshire Express for me love duty gratitude every sentiment that fills the heart of
Your HARRIET BYRON
Tuesday Morning Feb 14
I Have passed an agreeable two hours with Miss Clements and am just returned She is extremely ingenious and perfectly unaffected I am told that she writes finely and is a madame de Sevigne to her correspondents I hope to be one of them But she has not I find suffered her pen to run away with her needle nor her reading to interfere with that housewifry which the best judges hold so indispensable in the character of a good woman
I revere her for this as her example may be produced as one in answer to such as object I am afraid sometimes too justly but I hope too generally against learning in women Methinks however I would not have learning the principal distinction of the woman I love And yet where talents are given should we wish them to be either uncultivated or unacknowleged Surely Lucy we may pronounce that where no duty is neglected for the acquirement where modesty
delicacy and a teachable spirit are preserved as characteristics of the Sex it need not be thought a disgrace to be supposed to know something
Miss Clements is happy as well as your Harriet in an aunt that loves her She has a mother living who is too great a self-lover to regard anybody else as she ought She lives as far off as York and was so unnatural a parent to this good child that her aunt was not easy till she got her from her Mrs Wimburn looks upon her as her daughter and intends to leave her all she is worth
The old Lady was not very well but she obliged us with her agreeable company for half an hour
We agreed to fall in occasionally upon each other without ceremony
I should have told you that the last master of the young man William Wilson having given him in writing a very good character I have entertained him and his first service was attending on me to Miss Clements
Lady Betty called here in my absence She is it seems very full of the dresses and mine in particular But I must know nothing about it as yet We are to go to her house to dress and to proceed from thence in chairs She is to take care of everything You shall know my Lucy what figure I am to make when I know it myself
The baronet also called at my cousins while I was out He saw only Mr Reeves He staid about a quarter of an hour He was very moody and sullen it seems Quite another man Mr Reeves said than he had ever seen him before Not one laugh not one smile All that sell from his lips was Yes or No or by way of invective against the Sex It wasThe devil of a Sex It was a cursed thing he said that a man could be neither happy with them nor without them Devils baits was another of his compliments to us He hardly mentioned my name
Mr Reeves at last began to rally him on his moodiness and plainly saw that to avoid shewing more of his petulance when he had not a right to shew any to a man of Mr Reevess consideration and in his own house he went away the sooner His footmen and coachman he believed had an ill time of it for without reason he cursed them swore at them and threatened them
What does the man haunt us for—Why brings he such odious humours to Mr Reevess
But no more of such a man nor of any thing else till my next Only
Adieu my Lucy
Wednesday Morning Feb 15
MR Greville took leave of us yesterday evening in order to set out this morning on his return home He would fain have engaged me for half an hour alone But I would not oblige him
He left London he said with some regret because of the fluttering Sir Hargrave and the creeping Mr Fowler But depended upon my declaration that I had not in either of them seen the man I could encourage Either of them were the words he chose to use for in compliment to himself he would not repeat my very words that I had not yet seen any man to whom I could give my hand Shall I give you a few particulars of what passed between me and this very whimsical man I will
He had been enquiring he said into the character and pretensions of my bother Fowler and intended if he could bring Orme and him together to make a match between them who would outwhine the other
Heroes I told him ought not to make a jest of those who on comparison gave them all their advantages
He bowed and called himself my servant—And with an affected laugh Yet madam yet madam I am not afraid of those piping men Tho you have compassion for such watryheaded fellows yet you have only compassion
Respectful Love Mr Greville is not always the indication either of a weak head or a faint heart any more than the contrary is of a true spirit
Perhaps so madam But yet I am not afraid of these two men
You have no reason to be afraid of anybody on my account Mr Greville
I hope not
You will find Sir at last that you had better take my meaning It is obvious enough
But I have no mind to hang drown or pistol myself
Mr Greville still Yet it would be well if there were not many Mr Grevilles
I take your meaning madam You have explained it heretofore It is That I am a libertine that we have all one dialect and that I can say nothing new or that is worthy of your attention—There madam May I not be always sure of your meaning when I construe it against myself
I wish Sir that my neighbour would give me leave to behave to him as to my neighbour—
And could you madam supposing Love out of the question which it cannot be could you in that case regard me as your neighbour
Why not Sir
Because I believe you hate me and I only want you to tell me that you do
I hope Sir I shall never have reason given me to hate any man
But if you hate any one man more than another is it not me I was silent Strange Mrs Reeves turning to her that Miss Byron is not susceptible either of Love or Hatred
She is too good to hate anybody and as for Love her time seems not to be yet come
When it is come it will come with a vengeance I hope
Uncharitable man said I smiling
Dont smile I cant bear to see you smile Why dont you be angry at me—Angel of a creature with his teeth again closed dont smile I cannot bear your bewitching smiles
The man is out of his right mind Mrs Reeves I dont choose to stay in his company
I would have withdrawn He besought me to stay and stood between me and the door I was angry
He whimsically stamped—Obliging creature—I besought you to forbear smiling—You frown—Do God forever bless you my dear Miss Byron let me be favoured with another frown
Strange man and bold as strange—I would have pressed to the door but he set his back against it
These are the airs you know Lucy for which I used to shun him
Pish said I vexed to be hindred from withdrawing
Another another such frown said the confident man and I am happy—The last has left no trace upon your features It vanished before I could well behold it Another frown I beseech you another pish—
I was really angry—Bear witness looking around him Bear witness Once did Miss Byron endeavour to frown And to oblige whom Her Greville
Mr Greville you had better—I stopt I was vexed I knew not what I was going to say
How better madam Am I not desperate—But
had I better Say repeat that again—Had I better—•••ter what
The mans mad O my cousins let me never again be called to this man
Mad—And so I am Mad for you I care not who knows it Why dont you hate me He snatched at my hand but I started back You own that you never yet loved the man who loved you Such is your gratitude Say you hate me
I was silent and turned from him peevishly
Why then as if I had said I did not hate him say you love me and I will look down with contempt upon the greatest prince on earth
We should have had more of this—But the rap of consequence gave notice of the visit of a person of consideration It was the baronet
The devil pick his bones said the shocking Greville I shall not be civil to him
He is not your guest Mr Greville said I—afraid that something affronting might pass between two spirits so unmanageable the one in an humour so whimsical the other very likely to be moody
True true replied he I will be all silence and observation But I hope you will not now be for retiring
It would be too particular thought I if I am Yet I should have been glad to do so
The baronet paid his respects to every one in a very set and formal manner nor distinguished me
Silly as vain thought I Handsome fop to imagine thy displeasure of consequence to me
Mr Greville said Sir Hargrave the town I understand is going to lose you
The town Sir Hargrave cannot be said to have found me
How can a man of your gallantry and fortune find himself employment in the country in the winter I wonder—
Very easily when he has used himself to it Hargrave and has seen abroad in greater perfecti•• than you can have them here the kind of diversions you all run after with so keen an appetite
In greater perfection I question that Mr Greville And I have been abroad tho too early I own to make critical observations
You may question it Sir Hargrave but I dont
Have we not from Italy the most famous singers Mr Greville and from thence and from France for our money the most famous dancers in the world
No Sir They set too great a value in Italy let me tell you upon their finest voices and upon their finest composers too to let them turn strollers
Strollers do you call them Ha ha ha hah—Princely strollers as we reward them—and as to composers have we not Handel
There you say something Sir Hargrave But you have but one Handel in England They have several in Italy
Is it possible said every one
Let me die said the baronet with a forced laugh if I am not ready to think that Mr Greville has run into the fault of people of less genius than himself He has got such a taste for foreign diversions that he cannot think tolerably of those of his own country be they ever so excellent
Handel Sir Hargrave is not an Englishman But I must say that of every person present I least expected from Sir Hargrave Pollexfen this observation
He then returned the baronets laugh and not without an air of mingled anger and contempt
Nor I this taste for foreign performances and compositions from Mr Greville for so long time as thou hast been a downright country gentleman
Indeed thought I to myself you seem both to have changed characters But I know how it comes about Let one advance what he will in the present humour
of both the other will contradict it Mr Greville knows nothing of music What he said was from hearsay And Sir Hargrave is no better grounded in it
A downright country gentleman repeated Mr Greville measuring Sir Hargrave with his eye and putting up his lip
Why prythee now Greville thou WhatshallIcall thee thou art not offended I hope that we are not all of one mind Ha ha ha hah
I am offended at nothing you say Sir Hargrave
Nor I at any-thing you look my dear Ha ha ha hah
Yet his looks shewed as much contempt for Mr Greville as Mr Grevilles did for him How easily might these combustible spirits have blown each other up Mr Reeves was once a little apprehensive of consequences from the airs of both
Mr Greville turned from Sir Hargrave to me Well Miss Byron said he but as to what we were talking about
This he seemed to say on purpose as I thought by his air to alarm the baronet
I beg pardon said Sir Hargrave turning with a stiff air to me I beg pardon Miss Byron if I have intruded—
We were talking of indifferent things Sir Hargrave answered I—Mere matters of pleasantry
I was more in earnest than in jest Miss Byron replied Mr Greville
We all I believe thought you very whimsical Mr Greville returned I
What was sport to you madam is death to me
Poor Greville Ha ha ha hah affectedly laughed the baronet But I know you are a joker You are a man of wit This a little softened Mr Greville who had begun to look grave upon Sir Hargrave Come prythee man give thyself up to me for this night and I will carry thee to a private concert where none
but choice spirits are admitted and let us see if music will not divert these gloomy airs that sit so ill upon the face of one of the liveliest men in the kingdom
Music Ay if Miss Byron will give us a song and accompany it with the harpsichord I will despise all other harmony
Every one joined in his request And I was not backward to oblige them as I thought the conversation bore a little too rough a cast and was not likely to take a smoother turn
Mr Greville who always enjoys any jest that tends to reflect on our Sex begged me to sing that whimsical song set by Galliard which once my uncle made me sing at Selbyhouse in Mr Grevilles hearing You were not there Lucy that day and perhaps may not have the book as Galliard is not a favourite with you
CHLOE by all the powrs above
To Damon vowd eternal Love
A rose adornd her sweeter breast
She on a leaf the vow imprest
But Zephyr by her side at play
Love vow and leaf blew quite away
The gentlemen were very lively on the occasion and encored it But I told them That as they must be better pleased with the jest on our Sex contained in it than they could be with the music I would not for the sake of their own politeness oblige them
You will favour us however with your Discreet Lover Miss Byron said Mr Greville That is a song written entirely on your own principles
Well then I will give you said I set by the same hand
THE DISCREET LOVER
Ye fair that would be blest in Love
Take your pride a little lower
Let the swain whom you approve
Rather like you than adore
Love that rises into passion
Soon will end in hate or strife
But from tender inclination
Flow the lasting joys of life
These two light pieces put the gentlemen into good humour and a deal of silly stuff was said to me by way of compliment on the occasion by Sir Hargrave and Mr Greville not one word of which I believed
The baronet went away first to go to his concert He was very cold in his behaviour to me at taking leave as he had been all the time
Mr Greville soon after left us intending to set out this morning
He snatched my hand at going I was afraid of a second savage freedom and would have withdrawn it—Only one sigh over it but one sigh Oh— said he an Oh half a yard long—and pressed it with his lips—But remember madam you are watched I have half a dozen spies upon you and the moment you find the man you can favour up comes your Greville cuts a throat and flies his country
He stopt at the parlourdoor—One Letter Miss Byron—Receive but one Letter from me
No Mr Greville But I wish you well
Wishes that like the Bishops blessing cost you nothing I was going to say No for you But you were too quick It had been some pleasure to have denied myself and prevented the mortification of a denial from you
He went away every one wishing him a good journey and speaking favourably of the odd creature Mrs Reeves in particular thought fit to say that he was the most entertaining of all my Lovers But if so what is it they call entertaining And what are those others whom they call my Lovers
The man said I is an immoral man And had he not got above blushes and above being hurt by
Love he could not have been so gay and so entertaining as you call it
Miss Byron says true said Mr Reeves I never knew a man who could make a jesting matter of the passion in the presence of the object, so very deeply in Love as to be hurt by a disappointment There sits my saucebox Did I ever make a jest of my Love to you madam
No indeed Sir Had I not thought you most deplorably in earnest you had not had any of my pity
Why look you there now Thats a declaration in point Either Mr Orme or Mr Fowler must be the happy man Miss Byron
Indeed neither
But why They have both good estates They both adore you Sir Hargrave I see you cannot have Mr Greville dies not for you tho he would be glad to live with you Mr Fenwick is a still less eligible man I think Where can you be better than with one of the two I have named
You speak seriously cousin I will not answer lightly But neither of those gentlemen can be the man Yet I esteem them both because they are good men
Well but dont you pity them
I dont know what to say to that You hold that Pity is but one remove from Love And to say I pity a man who professes to love me because I cannot consent to be his carries with it I think an air of arrogance and looks as if I believed he must be unhappy without me when possibly there may be hundreds of women with any one of whom he might be more truly happy
Well this is in character from you Miss Byron But may I ask you now Which of the two gentlemen Mr Orme or Mr Fowler were you obliged to have one of them would you choose
Mr Orme I frankly answer Have I not told Mr Fowler so
Well then what are your objections may I ask to Mr Orme He is not a disagreeable man in his person You own that you think him a good man His sister loves you and you love her What is your objection to Mr Orme
I dont know what to say I hope I should perform my duty to the man to whom I shall give my vows be he who he will But I am not in haste to marry If a single woman knows her own happiness she will find that the time from eighteen to twentyfour is the happiest part of her life If she stay till she is twentyfour she has time to look about her and if she has more Lovers than one is enabled to choose without having reason on looking back to reproach herself for hastiness Her fluttering her romantic age we all know something of it I doubt is over by twentyfour or it will hold too long and she is then fit to take her resolutions and to settle I have more than once hinted that I should be afraid to engage with one who thinks too highly of me beforehand Nothing violent can be lasting and I could not bear when I had given a man my heart with my hand and they never shall be separated that he should behave to me with less affection than he shewed to me before I was his As I wish not now to be made an idol of I may the more reasonably expect the constancy due to friendship and not to be affronted with his indifference after I have given him my whole self In other words, I could not bear to have my Love slighted or to be despised for it instead of being encouraged to shew it And how shall extravagant passion warrant hopes of this nature—if the man be not a man of gratitude of principle and a man whose Love is founded in reason and whose object is mind rather than person
But Mr Orme replied Mr Reeves is all this Such I believe in his Love
Be it so But if I cannot love him so well as to wish to be his a man I have heard my uncle▪ as
well as Sir Hargrave say is his own a woman is a mans if I cannot take delight in the thought of bearing my part of the yoke with him in the belief that in case of a contrariety of sentiments I cannot give up my judgment in points indifferent from the good opinion I have of his what but a fondness for the state and an irksomeness in my present situation could byass me in favour of any man Indeed my cousin I must love the man to whom I could give my hand well enough to be able on cool deliberation to wish to be his wife and for his sake with my whole heart choose to quit the single state in which I am very happy
And you are sure that your indifference to Mr Orme is not either directly or indirectly owing to his obsequious Love of you and to the milkiness of his nature as Shakespeare calls it
Very sure All the leaning towards him that I have in preference as I think to every other man who has beheld me with partiality is on the contrary owing to the grateful sense I have of his respect to me and to the gentleness of his nature Does not my behaviour to Mr Greville to Mr Fenwick to Sir Hargrave compared with my treatment of Mr Orme and Mr Fowler confirm what I say
Then you are as indeed I have always thought you a nonsuch of a woman
Not so your own Lady whom you first brought to pity you as I have heard you say is an instance that I am not
Well thats true But is she not at the same time an example that pity melts the soul to Love
I have no doubt said Mrs Reeves but Miss Byron may be brought to love the man she can pity
But madam said I did you not let pity grow into Love before you married Mr Reeves
I believe I did smiling
Well then I promise you Mr Reeves when that
comes to be the case with me I will not give pain to a man I can like to marry
Very well replied Mr Reeves And I dare say that at last Mr Orme will be the man And yet how you will get off with Sir Hargrave I cannot tell For Lady Betty Williams this very day told me That he declared to her he was resolved you should be his And she has promised him all her interest with you and with us and is astonished that you can refuse a man of his fortune and address and who has many very many admirers among people of the first rank
The baronet is at the door I suppose he will expect to see me
Wednesday Afternoon
SIR Hargrave is just gone He desired to talk with me alone I thought I might very well decline obligeing him as he had never scrupled to say to me all he had a mind to say before my cousins and as he had thought himself of consequence enough to behave moodily and even made this request rather with an air of expectation than of respect and I accordingly desired to be excused He stalked about My cousins first one then the other withdrew His behaviour had not been so agreeable as to deserve this compliance I was vexed they did
He offered as soon as they were gone to take my hand
I withdrew it
Madam said he very impertinently angry you would not do thus to Mr Greville You would not do thus to any man but me
Indeed Sir I would were I left alone with him
You see madam that I cannot forbear visiting you My heart and soul are devoted to you I own I have pride Forgive me it is piqued I did not believe I should have been rejected by any Lady who had no dislike to a change of condition and was disengaged You declare that you are so and I am
willing I am desirous to believe you—And yet that Greville—
There he stopt as expecting me to speak
To what purpose Sir Hargrave do you expect an answer to what you hint about Mr Greville It is not my way to behave with incivility to any man who professes a regard for me—
Except to me madam—
Selfpartiality Sir and nothing else could cause you to make this exception
Well madam but as to Mr Greville—
Pray Sir Hargrave—
And pray Miss Byron—
I have never yet seen the man who is to be my husband
By G— said the wretch fiercely almost in the language of Mr Greville on the like occasion but you have—And if you are not engaged in your affections the man is before you
If this Sir Hargrave is all you wanted to say to me and would not be denied saying it it might have been said before my cousins I was for leaving him
You shall not go I beg madam putting himself between me and the door
What further would Sir Hargrave say Standing still and angry What further would Sir Hargrave say
Have you madam a dislike to matrimony
What right have you Sir to ask me this question
Do you ever intend to enter into the state
Perhaps I may if I meet with a man to whom I can give my whole heart
And cannot that man be I—Let me implore you madam I will kneel to you And down he dropt on his knees I cannot live without you For Gods sake madam Your pity your mercy your gratitude your Love I could not do this before anybody unless assured of favour I implore your favour
Foolish man It was plain that this kneeling supplication was premeditated
O Sir what undue humility—Could I have received your address none of this had been necessary
Your pity madam once more your gratitude your mercy your Love
Pray Sir rise—He swore by his God that he would not till I had given him hope—
No hope can I give you Sir It would be cheating it would be deluding you it would not be honest to give you hope
You objected to my morals madam Have you any other objection
Need there any other
But I can clear myself
To God and to your conscience then do it Sir I want you not to clear yourself to me
But madam the clearing myself to you would be clearing myself to God and my conscience
What language is this Sir But you can be nothing to me Indeed you can be nothing to me—Rise Sir rise or I leave you
I made an effort to go He caught my hand and arose—Then kissed it and held it between both his
For Gods sake madam—
Pray Sir Hargrave—
Your objections I insist upon knowing your objections My person madam—Forgive me I am not used to boast—My person madam—
Pray Sir Hargrave
—Is not contemptible My fortune—
God bless you Sir with your fortune
—Is not inconsiderable My morals—
Pray Sir Hargrave Why this enumeration to me
—Are as unexceptionable as those of most young men of fashion in the present age
I am sorry if this be true thought I to myself
You have reason I hope Sir to be glad of that
My descent—
Is honourable Sir no doubt
My temper is not bad I am thought to be a man of vivacity and of chearfulness—I have courage madam—And this should have been seen had I found reason to dread a competitor in your favour
I thought you were enumerating your good qualities Sir Hargrave
Courage madam magnanimity in a man madam—
Are great qualities Sir Courage in a right cause I mean Magnanimity you know Sir is greatness of mind
And so it is and I hope—
And I Sir Hargrave hope you have great reason to be satisfied with yourself But it would be very grievous to me if I had not the liberty so to act so to govern myself in essential points as should leave me as well satisfied with myself
This I hope may be the case madam if you encourage my passion And let me assure you that no man breathing ever loved a woman as I love you My person my fortune my morals my descent my temper a man in such a case as this may be allowed to do himself justice all unexceptionable let me die if I can account for your—your—your refusal of me in so peremptory in so unceremonious a manner slapdash as I may say and not one objection to make or which you will condescend to make
You say Sir that you love me above all women Would you can you be so little nice as to wish to marry a woman who does not prefer you to all men—If you are let me tell you Sir that you have assigned a reason against yourself which I think I ought to look upon as conclusive
I make no doubt madam that my behaviour to you after marriage will induce you in gratitude as well as justice to prefer me to all men
Your behaviour after marriage Sir—Never will I trust to that where—
Where what madam
No need of entering into particulars Sir You see that we cannot be of the same mind You Sir Hargrave have no doubt of your merit—
I know madam that I should make it the business as well as pleasure of my life to deserve you
You value yourself upon your fortune Sir—
Only as it gives me power to make you happy
Riches never yet of themselves made anybody happy I have already as great a fortune as I wish for You think yourself polite—
Polite madam—And I hope—
The whole of what I mean Sir Hargrave is this You have a very high opinion of yourself You may have reason for it since you must know yourself and your own heart better than I can pretend to do But would you let me ask you make choice of a woman for a wise who frankly owns that she cannot think so highly as you imagine she ought to think of you—In justice to yourself Sir—
By my Soul madam haughtily you are the only woman who could thus—
Well Sir perhaps I am But will not this singularity convince you that I can never make you happy nor you me You tell me that you think highly of me but if I cannot think so highly of you pray Sir let me be intitled to the same freedom in my refusal that governs you in your choice
He walked about the room and gave himself airs that shewed greater inward than even outward emotion
I had a mind to leave him yet was not willing to withdraw abruptly intending and hoping to put an end to all his expectations for the future I therefore in a manner asked for leave to withdraw
I presume Sir that nothing remains to be said but
what may be said before my cousins And courtesying was going
He told me with a passionate air that he was halfdistracted and complained of the use I made of the power I had over him And as I had near opened the door he threw himself on his knees to me against it and undesignedly hurt my finger with the lock
He was grieved I made light of it tho in pain that he might not have an opportunity to flourish upon it and to shew a tenderness which I doubt is not very natural to him
How little was I affected with his kneeling to what I was with the same posture in Sir Rowland Sir Hargrave supplicated me as before I was forced in answer to repeat some of the same things that I had said before
I would fain have parted civilly He would not permit me to do so Though he was on his knees he mingled passion and even indirect menaces with his supplications I was forced to declare that I never more would receive his visits
This declaration he vowed would make him desperate and he cared not what became of him
I often begged him to rise but to no purpose till I declared that I would stay no longer with him And then he arose rapt out an oath or two again called me proud and ungrateful and followed me into the other room to my cousins He could hardly be civil to them he walked two or three turns about the room At last Forgive me Mr Reeves Forgive me Mrs Reeves said he bowing to them more stiffly to me—And you forbid my future visits madam said he with a face of malice
I do Sir and that for both our sakes You have greatly discomposed me
Next time madam I have the honour of attending you it will be I hope—He stopt a moment but still looking fiercely to an happier purpose And away he went
Mr Reeves was offended with him and discouraged me not in my resolution to avoid receiving his future visits You will now therefore hear very little farther in my Letters of this Sir Hargrave Pollexfen
And yet I wish I do not see him very soon But it will be in company enough if I do At the Masquerade I mean tomorrow night for he never misses going to such entertainments
OUR dresses are ready Mr Reeves is to be an Hermit Mrs Reeves a Nun Lady Betty a Lady Abbess But I by no means like mine because of its gaudiness The very thing I was afraid of
They call it the dress of an Arcadian Princess But it falls not in with any of my notions of the Pastoral dress of Arcadia
A white Paris net sort of cap glittering with spangles and incircled by a chaplet of artificial flowers with a little white feather perking from the left ear is to be my headdress
My masque is Venetian
My hair is to be complimented with an appearance because of its natural ringlets as they call my curls and to shade my neck
Tucker and ruffles blond lace
My shape is also said to be consulted in this dress A kind of waistcoat of blue satten trimmed with silver Point dEspagne the skirts edged with silver fringe is made to sit close to my waist by double clasps a small silver tassel at the ends of each clasp all set off with bugles and spangles which make a mighty glitter
But I am to be allowed a kind of scarf of white Persian silk which gathered at the top is to be fastened to my shoulders and to fly loose behind me
Bracelets on my arms
They would have given me a crook but I would not submit to that It would give me I said an air
of confidence to aim to manage it with any tolerable freedom and I was apprehensive that I should not be thought to want that from the dress itself A large Indian fan was not improper for the expected warmth of the place and that contented me
My petticoat is of blue satten trimmed and fringed as my waistcoat I am not to have an hoop that is perceivable They wore not hoops in Arcadia
What a sparkling figure shall I make Had the Ball been what they call a Subscription Ball at which people dress with more glare than at a common one this dress would have been more tolerable
But they all say that I shall be kept in countenance by masques as extravagant and even more ridiculous
Be that as it may I wish the night were over I dare say it will be the last diversion of this kind I ever shall be at for I never had any notion of masquerades
Expect particulars of all in my next I reckon you will be impatient for them But pray my Lucy be fanciful as I sometimes am and let me know how you think everything will be beforehand and how many Prettyfellows you imagine in this dress will be slain by
Your HARRIET BYRON
Friday Feb 17
Dear Mr Selby
NO one at present but yourself must see the contents of what I am going to write
You must not be too much surprised
But how shall I tell you the news the dreadful news—My wife has been since three this morning in violent hysterics upon it
You must not—But how shall I say You must not
be too much affected when we are unable to support ourselves
O my cousin Selby—We know not what is become of our dearest Miss Byron
I will be as particular as my grief and surprize will allow There is a necessity for it as you will find
Mr Greville as I apprehend—But to particulars first
We were last night at the Ball in the Haymarket
The chairmen who carried the dear creature and who as well as our chairmen were engaged for the night were inveigled away to drink somewhere They promised Wilson my cousins servant to return in half an hour
It was then but little more than twelve
Wilson waited near two hours and they not returning he hired a chair to supply their place
Between two and three we all agreed to go home The dear creature was fatigued with the notice everybody took of her Everybody admired her She wanted to go before but Lady Betty prevailed on her to stay a little longer
I waited on her to her chair and saw her in it before I attended Lady Betty and my wife to theirs
I saw that neither the chair nor the chairmen were those who brought her I askd the meaning and receivd the above particulars after she was in the chair
She hurried into it because of her dress and being warm and no less than four gentlemen following her to the very chair
It was then near three
I orderd Wilson to bid the chairmen stop when they had got out of the croud till Lady Bettys chair and mine and my wifes joined them
I saw her chair move and Wilson with his lighted slambeaux before it and the four masques who followd her to the chair return into the house
When our servants could not find that her chair had stopt we supposed that in the hurry the fellow heard not my orders and directed our chairmen to proceed not doubting but we should find her got home before us
We had before agreed to be carried directly home declining Lady Bettys invitation to resume our own dresses at her house where we dressed for the Ball
We were very much surprised at finding her not arrived But concluding that by mistake she was carried to Lady Bettys and was there expecting us we sent thither immediately
But good God what was our consternation when the servants brought us word back that Lady Betty had not either seen or heard of her
Mr Greville as I apprehend—
But let me give you all the lights on which I ground my surmises
Last night Lady Betty Williams had an hint given her as she informed me at the Masquerade that Mr Greville who took leave of my cousin on Tuesday evening in order to set out for Northamptonshire the next morning was neither gone nor intended to go being on the contrary resolved to continue in town perdue in order to watch my cousins visitors
He had indeed told her that she would have half a dozen spies upon her and threw out some hints of jealousy of two of her visitors
Sir Hargrave Pollexfen in an Harlequin dress was at the Ball He soon discoverd our lovely cousin and notwithstanding his former illnature on being rejected by her addressed her with the politeness of a man accustomed to public places
He found me out at the sideboard a little before we went off and askd me if I had not seen Mr Greville there I said No
He askd me If I had not observed a mask distinguished by a broadbrimd halfslouched hat with a
high flat crown a short black cloak a dark lantern in his hand holding it up to every ones masque and who he said was saluted by everybody as Guido Vaux That person he said was Mr Greville
I did indeed observe this person but recollected not that he had the air of Mr Greville but thought him a much more bulky man But that as he intended to have it supposed he had left the town might be easily managed
Mr Greville you know is a man of enterprize
He came to town having professedly no other material business but to give obstruction to my cousins visitors He saw she had two new ones He talkd at first of staying in town and partaking of its diversions and even of bespeaking a new equipage
But all of a sudden tho expecting Mr Fenwick would come up he pretended to leave the town and to set out directly for Northamptonshire without having obtained any concession from my cousin in his favour
Laying all these circumstances together I think it is hardly to be doubted but Mr Greville is at the bottom of this black affair
You will therefore take such steps on these lights as your prudence will suggest to you If Mr Greville is not come down—If Mr Fenwick—What would I say
The less noise however the affair makes till we can come at certainty the better
How I dread what that certainty may be—Dear creature
But I am sure you will think it adviseable to keep this dreadful affair from her poor grandmother And I hope your good lady—Yet her prudent advice may be necessary
I have six people out at different parts of the town who are to make enquiries among chairmen coachmen c
Her new servant cannot be a villain—What can one say—What can one think
We have sent to his sister who keeps an inn in Smithfield She has heard nothing of him
I have sent after the chairmen who carried her to this cursed Masquerade Lady Bettys chairmen who had provided the chairs know them and their number They are traced with a fare from Whites to Berkeleysquare
Something may be discovered by means of those fellows if they were tamperd with They are afraid I suppose to come to demand their but halfearned money Woe be to them if they come out to be rascals
I had half a suspicion of Sir Hargrave as well from the character given us of him by a friend of mine as because of his unpolite behaviour to the dear creature on her rejecting him And sent to his house in Cavendishsquare to know if he were at home and if he were at what time he returned from the Ball
Answer was brought that he was in bed and they supposed would not be stirring till dinnertime when he expected company And that he returned not from the Ball till between four and five this morning
We sent to Mr Grevilles lodgings He has actually discharged them and the people think as he told them so that he is set out for the country But he is master of contrivances enough to manage this There can be no thought that he would give out otherwise to them than he did to us Happy had we sound him not gone
Mr Greville must be the man
You will be so good as to dispatch the bearer instantly with what information can be got about Mr Greville
Ever ever Yours ARCHIBALD REEVES
Saturday Feb 28
O Mr Reeves—Dear sweet child—Flower of the world—
But how could I keep such dreadful tidings within my own breast—
How could I conceal my consternation—My wife saw it She would know the cause of it
I could not tell her the fatal news—Fatal news indeed It will be immediate death to her poor grandmother—
We must keep it from her as long as we can—But keep it from her—And is the dearest creature spirited away—O Mr Reeves—
I gave my wife your letter She fainted away before she had read it thro
Masquerades I have generally heard said were more silly than wicked But they are now I am convinced the most profligate of all diversions
Almost distracted cousin—You may well be so We shall all be quite distracted—Dear dear creature What may she not have suffered by this time
Why parted we with such a Jewel out of your sight
You would not be denied You would have her to that cursed town
Some damnd villain to be sure—Greville it is not
Greville was seen late last night alighting at his own house from a postchaise He had nobody with him
In half an hour late as it was he sent his compliments to us to let us know that he had left the dear child well and in his usual stile happier than she would make him He knows that our lives are bound up in hers
Find out where she is And find her safe and well Or we will never forgive those who were the cause of her going to London
Dear soul She was overpersuaded—She was not fond of going
The sweetest obliging creature—What is now become of her—What by this time may she not have suffered—
Search everywhere—But you will no doubt—Suspect everybody—This Lady Betty Williams—Such a plot must have a woman in it Was she not Sir Hargraves friend—This Sir Hargrave—Greville it could not be Had we not the proof I mentiond Greville bad as he is could not be such a villain
The first moment you have any tidings bad or good spare no expence—
GREVILLE was this moment here
We could not see him We did not let him know the matter
He is gone away in great surprize on the servants telling him that we had received some bad news which made us unfit to see anybody The servants could not tell him what Yet they all guess by your livery and by our grief that something has befallen their beloved young lady They are all in tears—And they look at us when they attend us with such inquisitive yet silent grief—We are speechless before them and tell them our wills by motions and not by words
Good God—After so many happy years—Happy in ourselves to be at last in so short a time made the most miserable of wretches
But this had not been if—But no more—Good God of heaven what will become of my poor aunt Shirley—Lucy Nancy will go distracted—But no more—Hasten your next—And for give this distracted letter I know not what I have written But I am
Yours GEORGE SELBY
LADY Bettys chairmen have found out the first chairmen
The fellows were made almost dead drunk They are sure something was put into their liquor They have been hunting after the footmen who enticed them and drank them down They describe their livery to be brown trimmed and turned up with yellow and are in the service of a merchants relict who lives either in Marklane or Mincinglane they forgot which but have not yet been able to find them out Their lady they said was at the Masquerade They were very officious to scrape acquaintance with them We know not anybody who gives this livery So no lights can be obtained by this part of the information A cursed deeplaid villainy—The fellows are resolved they say to find out these footmen if aboveground and the chairmen who were hired on their failure
Every hour we have one messenger or other returning with something to say but hitherto with nothing to the purpose This has kept me within O Mr Selby I know not what to direct I know not what to do I send them out again as fast as they return Yet rather shew my despair than my hope
Surely this villainy must be Mr Grevilles Tho I have but just dispatched away my servant to you I am impatient for his return
I will write every hour as any-thing offers that I may have a letter ready to send you by another man the moment we hear any-thing. And yet I expect not to hear any thing material but from you
We begin to suspect the servant that Wilson whom my cousin so lately hired Were he clear of the matter either he or the chairmen he hired must have been heard of He would have returned They could not all three be either murdered or secreted
These cursed Masquerades—Never will I—
O Mr Selby Her servant is must be a villain Sarah my dear cousins servant My poor wife can think of nothing She is extremely ill Sarah took it into her head to have the specious rascals trunk broke open It felt light and he had talkd but the night before of his stock of cloaths and linen to the other servants There was nothing of value found in it not of sixpence value The most specious villain if a villain Everybody liked him The dear creature herself was pleased with him He knew everything and everybody—Cursed be he for his adroitness and knowlege We had made too many enquiries after a servant for her
Eleven oClock
I AM just returned from Smithfield From the villains sister He comes out to be a villain—This Wilson I mean—A practised villain
The woman shook her head at the enquiry which I made half out of breath after what was become of him She was afraid she said that all was not right But was sure her brother had not robbed
He had been guilty I said of a villainy that was a thousand times worse than robbery
She was inquisitive about it and I hinted to her what it was
Her brother she said was a young man of parts and understanding and would be glad she was sure of getting a livelihood by honest services It was a sad thing that there should be such masters in the world as would put servants upon bad practices
I askd after the character of that Bagenhall whose
service her brother last lived in and imprudently I threatened her brother
Ah Sir was all the answer she made shaking her head
I repeated my question Who was that Bagenhall—
Excuse me Sir said she I will give no other answer till I hear whether my brothers life may be in danger or not She abhorred she said all base practices as much as anybody could do and she was sorry for the Lady and for me
I then offerd to be the making of her brother were it possible to engage him before any violence was done to the Lady I askd If she knew where to send to him
Indeed she did not She dared to say she should not hear of him for one while Whenever he had been drawn in to assist in any outoftheway pranks See Mr Selby a practised villain he kept away from her till all was blown over Those who would take such steps she feared would by this time have done the mischief
How I raved
I offered her money a handsome sum if she would tell me what she knew of that Begenhall or of any of her brothers employers But she refused to say one word more till she knew whether her brothers life were likely to be affected or not
I left her and hastened home to enquire after what might have happened in my absence But will soon see her again in hopes she may be wrought upon to drop some hints by which something may be discoverd—But all this time What may be the fate of the dear sufferer—I cannot bear my own thoughts
Lady Betty is inexpressibly grieved—
I have dispatched a man and horse God knows to what purpose to a friend I have at Reading to get him to enquire after the character of this Bagenhall
There is such a man and he is a man of pleasure as Sir John Allestree informs me—Accursed villain this Wilson He could not bear with his masters constant bad hours and profligate course of life as he told our servants and Mrs Sarah—Spacious impostor
One oClock
LADY Bettys chairmen have sound out and they brought with them one of the fellows whom that vile Wilson hired The other was afraid to come I have secured this fellow Yet he seems to be ingenuous and I have promised that if he prove innocent he shall be rewarded instead of punishd and the two chairmen on this promise are gone to try to prevail upon his partner to come were it but to release the other as both insisted upon their innocence
And now will you be impatient to know what account this fellow gives
O Mr Selby The dear dear creature—But before I can proceed I must recover my eyes
Two oClock
THIS fellows name is Macpherson His partners Mc Dermot This is Macphersons account of the matter
Wilson hired them to carry this young Lady to Paddington—To Paddington A vile dog—
They objected distance and danger the latter as Macpherson owns to highten the value of the service
As to the danger Wilson told him they would be met by three others of his fellowservants armed at the first fields And as to the distance they would be richl• rewarded and he gave them a crown a piece earnest and treated them besides with brandy
To prevent their curiosity and entirely to remove their difficulties the villain told them that his young Lady was an heiress and had agreed to go off from the Masquerade with her lover But that the gentleman
would not appear to them till she came to the very house to which she was to be conveyed
She thinks said the hellish villain that she is to be carried to MayFair Chapel and to be married directly and that the minister unseasonable as the hour is will be there in readiness But the gentleman who is a man of the utmost honour intends first to try whether he cannot obtain her friends consent So when she finds her way lengthened proceeded the vile wretch she will perhaps be frightned and will ask me questions I would not for the world disoblige her but here she must be cheated for her own sake and when all is over will value me the more for the innocent imposture But whatever orders she may give you observe none but mine and follow me You shall be richly rewarded repeated the miscreant Should she even cry out mind it not She is full of fears and hardly holds in one mind for an hour together
He further cautioned them not to answer any questions which might possibly be askd of them by the person who should conduct his young Lady to her chair but refer to himself And in case any other chairs were to go in company with hers he bid them fall behind and follow his flambeaux
Macpherson says that she drew the curtains close because of her dress no doubt the moment I had lest her after seeing her in the chair
The fellows thus prepossessed and instructed speeded away without stopping for our chairs Yet the dear creature must have heard me give that direction
They had carried her a great way before she called out and then she called three times before they would hear her At the third time they stopt and her servant asked her commands Where am I William said she Just at home madam answered he Surely you have taken a strange roundabout way We are
come about said the rascal on purpose to avoid the croud of chairs and coaches
They proceeded onwards and were joined by three men as Wilson had told them they would but they fansied one of them to be a gentleman for he was muffled up in a cloak and had a silverhilted sword in his hand But he spoke not He gave no directions And all three kept aloof that they might not be seen by her
At Maribone she again called out William William said she with vehemence The Lord have mercy upon me Where are you going to carry me Chairmen stop Stop chairmen Set me down—William—Call my servant chairmen—
Dear soul Her servant Her devil
The chairmen called him They lifted up the head The sidecurtains were still undrawn and McDermot stood so close that she could not see far before her Did you not tell me said the villain to them that it was not far about—See how you have frighted my Lady—Madam we are now almost at home
They proceeded with her saying they had indeed mistaken their way but they were just there and hurried on
She then undrew the sidecurtains—Good God of heaven protect me they heard her say—I am in the midst of fields—They were then at LissomGreen
They heard her pray and Macpherson said He began then to conclude that the Lady was too much frightend and too pious to be in a loveplot
But nevertheless backoned by their villainous guide they hurried on And then she screamed out and happening to see one of the three men she beggd his help for Gods sake
The fellow blustered at the chairmen and bid them stop She asked for Grosvenorstreet She was to be carried she said to Grosvenorstreet
She was just there that fellow said—It cant be
Sir It cant be—Dont I see fields all about me—I am in the midst of fields Sir
GrosvenorSquare madam replyd that villain the trees and garden of GrosvenorSquare
What a strange way have you come about cryd her miscreant And then trod out his flambeaux while another fellow took the chairmens lantern from them and they had only a little glimmering starlight to guide them
She then poor dear soul screamed so dismally that Macpherson said it went to his heart to hear her But they followed Wilson who told them they were just landed that was his word he led them up a long gardenwalk by a backway One of the three men having got before opened the gardendoor and held it in his hand and by the time they got to the house to which the garden seemed to belong the dear creature ceased screaming
They too well saw the cause when they stopt with her She was in a fit
Two women by the assistance of the person in the cloak helped her out with great seeming tenderness They said something in praise of her beauty and expressed themselves concerned for her as if they were afraid she was past recovery Which apparently startled the man in the cloak
Wilson entered the house with those who carried in the dear creature but soon came out to the chairmen They say the man in the cloak who hung about the villain and huggd him as in joy give the rascal money who then put a guinea into each of their hands and conveyed them thro the garden again to the door at which they entered but refused them light even so much as that of their own candle and lantern However he sent another man with them who led them over rough and dirty byways into a path that pointed Londonward but plainly so much about with
design to make it difficult for them to find out the place again
THE other fellow is brought hither He tells exactly the same story
I askd of both what sort of man he in the cloak was But he so carefully muffled himself up and so little appeared to them either walking after them or at the house that I could gain no light from their description
On their promise to be forthcoming I have suffered them to go with Lady Bettys chairmen to try if they can trace out their own footsteps and find the place
How many hopeless things must a man do in an exigence who knows not what is right to be done
I HAVE enquired of Lady Betty Who it was that told her Mr Greville was not gone out of town but intended to lie perdue and she named her informant I askd how the discourse came in She ownd a little aukwardly I askd whether that Lady knew Mr Greville She could not say whether she did or not
I went to that Lady Mrs Preston in New Bondstreet She had her intelligence she told me from Sir Hargrave Pollexfen who had hinted to her that he should take such notice of Mr Greville as might be attended with consequences and she was the readier to intimate this to Lady Betty in order to prevent mischief
Now Mr Selby as the intimation that the darklantern figure at the Masquerade was Mr Greville came from Sir Hargrave and nobody else and we saw nothing of him ourselves how do we know—And yet Mr Greville intended that we should believe him to be out of town—Yet even that intimation came from Sir Hargrave—And furthermore was it
not likely that he would take as much care to conceal himself from Sir Hargrave as from us—But I will go instantly to Sir Hargraves house He was to dine at home and with company If I cannot see him If he should be absent—But no more till I return
O MR Selby I believe I have wrongd Mr Greville The dear soul I am afraid is fallen into even worse hands than his
I went to Sir Hargraves house He was not at home He was at home He had company with him He was not to be spoken with These were the different answers given me by his porter with as much confusion as I had impatience and yet it was evident to me that he had his lesson given him In short I have reason to think that Sir Hargrave came not home all night The man in the cloak I doubt was he Now does all that Sir John Allestree said of the malicious wickedness of this devilish man and his arrogant behaviour to our dear Miss Byron on her rejecting him come fresh into my memory And is she can she be fallen into the power of such a man—Rather much rather may my first surmises prove true Greville is surely exceptionable as he is a better man at least a betternatured man than this and he can have no thoughts less honourable than marriage But this villian if he be the villian—I cannot I dare not pursue the thought
THE four chairmen are just returned They think they have found the place but having gained some intelligence intelligence which distracts me they hurried back for directions
They had asked a neighbouring alehousekeeper if there were not a long garden belonging to the house they suspected and a backdoor out of it to a dirty lane and fields He answered in the affirmative The front of this house faces the road
They called for some hot liquors and asked the landlord after the owners He knew nothing of harm of them he said They had lived there near a twelvemonth in reputation The family consisted of a widow whose name is Awberry her son and two daughters The son a man of about thirty years of age has a place in the Customhouse and only came down on a Saturday and went up on Monday But an odd circumstance he said had alarmed him that very morning
He was at first a little shy of telling what it was He loved he said to mind his own business What other people did was nothing to him But at last he told them that about six oclock in the morning he was awakend by the trampling of horses and looking out of his window saw a chariotandsix and three or four men on horseback at the widow Awberrys door He got up The footmen and coachmen were very hush not calling for a drop of liquor tho his doors were open A rare instance he said where there were so many menservants together and a coachman one of them This he said could not but give a greater edge to his curiosity
About seven oclock one of the widows daughters came to the door with a lighted candle in her hand and directed the chariot to drive up close to the house The alehousekeeper then slipt into an arbourlike porch next door to the widows where he had not been three minutes before he saw two persons come to the door the one a tall gentleman in laced cloaths who had his arms about the other a person of middling stature wrapt up in a scarlet cloak and resisting as one in great distress the others violence and begging not to be put into the chariot in a voice and accent that evidently shewed it was a woman
The gentleman made vehement protestations of honour but lifted the Lady into the chariot She struggled and seemed to be in agonies of grief and
on being lifted in and the gentleman going in after her she screamed out for help and he observed in the struggling that she had on under her cloak a silverlaced habit The Masquerade habit no doubt Her screaming grew fainter and fainter and her voice sounded to him as if her mouth were stopped And the gentleman seemed to speak high as if he threatened her
Away drove the chariot The servants rode after it
In about half an hour a coach and four came to the widows door the widow and her two daughters went into it and it took the same road
The alehousekeeper had afterwards the curiosity to ask the maidservant an ignorant country wench whither her mistresses went so early in the morning She answered they were gone to Windsor or that way and would not return she believed in a week
O this damnd Sir Hargrave He has a house upon the forest I have no doubt but he is the villain Who knows what injuries the dear creature might have sustained before she was forced into the chariot—God give me patience Dear soul Her prayers Her struggling Her crying out for help Her mouth stopt—O the villain
I have ordered as many men and horses as two of my friends can furnish me with to be added to two of my own we shall be nine in all to get ready with all speed I will pursue the villain to the worlds end but I will find him
Our first course shall be to his house at Windsor If we find him not there we will proceed to that Bagenhalls near Reading
It would be but lesing time were I to go now to Paddington And when the vile widow and her daughters are gone from home and only an ignorant wench left what can we learn of her more than is already told to us
I have however accepted Lady Bettys offer of her
stewards going with the two chairmen to get what farther intelligence he can from Paddington against my return
I shall take what I have written with me to form from it a letter less hurrying less alarming for your perusal than this that I have written at such snatches of time and under such dreadful uncertainties would be to you were I to send it that is to say if I have time and if I am able to write with any certainty—O that dreaded certainty
At four in the morning the six men I borrow and myself and two of my servants well armed are to rendezvous at HydePark Corner It is grievous that another night must pass But so many people cannot be got together as two or three might
My poor wife has made me promise to take the assistance of peaceofficers whereever I find either the villain or the suffering angel
Where the road parts we shall divide and enquire at every turnpike and shall agree upon our places of meeting
I am harassed to death But my mind is the greatest sufferer
O MY dear Mr Selby We have tidings—God be praised we have tidings—Not so happy indeed as were to be wished Yet the dear creature is living and in honourable hands—God be praised
Read the inclosed Letter directed to me
SIR
MISS Byron is in safe and honourable hands
The first moment she could give any account of herself she besought me to quiet your heart and your I adys with this information
She has been cruelly treated
Particulars at present she cannot give
She was many hours speechless
But dont fright yourselves Her fits tho not less frequent are weaker and weaker
The bearer will acquaint you who my Brother is to whom you owe the preservation and safety of the loveliest woman in England and he will direct you to a house where you will be welcome with your Lady for Miss Byron cannot be removed to convince yourselves that all possible care is taken of her by Sir
Your humble Servant CHARLOTTE GRANDISON
Friday Feb 17
In fits—Has been cruelly treated—Many hours speechless—Cannot be removed—Her solicitude tho hardly herself for our ease—Dearest dear creature—But you will rejoice with me my cousins that she is in such honourable hands
What I have written must now go I have no time to transcribe
I have sent to my two friends to let them know that I shall not have occasion for their peoples assistance
She is at a noblemans house the Earl of L near Colnebrooke
My wife harassed and fatigued in mind as she has been on this occasion and poorly in health wanted to go with me But it is best first for me to see how the dear creature is
I shall set out before day on horseback My servant shall carry with him a portmanteau of things ordered by my wife My cousin must have made a strange appearance in her Masquerade dress to her deliverer
The honest man who brought the Letter He looks remarkably so but had he a less agreeable countenance he would have been received by us as an angel for his happy tidings was but just returned from Windsor whither he had been sent early in the morning to transact some business when he was dispatched
away to us with the welcome Letter He could not therefore be so particular as we wished him What he gathered was from the housekeeper the menservants who were in the fray A fray there was being gone to town with their master But what we learnt from him is briefly as follows
His master is Sir Charles Grandison a gentleman who has not been long in England I have often heard mention of his father Sir Thomas who died not long ago This honest man knew not when to stop in his masters praise He gives his young Lady also an excellent character
Sir Charles was going to town in his chariotandsix when he met most happily met our distressed cousin
Sir Hargrave is the villain
I am heartily sorry for suspecting Mr Greville
Sir Charles had earnest business in town and he proceeded thither after he had rescued the dear creature and committed her to the care of his sister—God for ever bless him
The vile Sir Hargrave as the servant understood was wounded Sir Charles it seems was also hurt Thank God it was so slightly as not to hinder him from pursuing his journey to town after the glorious act
I would have given the honest man a handsome gratuity But he so earnestly besought me to excuse him declaring that he was under an obligation to the most generous of masters to decline all gifts that I was obliged to withdraw my hand
I will speed this away by Richard Fennell I will soon send you farther particulars by the post Not unhappy ones I hope
Excuse mean time all that is amiss in a Letter the greatest part of which was written in such dreadful uncertainty and believe that I will be
Ever Yours AECHIBALD REEVES
Sat Feb 18
Dear Sir
I AM just returned from visiting my beloved cousin You will be glad of every minute particular as I can give it to you relating to this shocking affair and to her protector and his sister There are not such another brother and sister in England
I got to the hospitable mansion by nine this morning I enquired after Miss Byrons health and on giving in my name was shewn into a handsome parlour elegantly furnished
Immediately came down to me a very agreeable young Lady Miss Grandison I gave her a thousand thanks for the honour of her Letter and the joyful information it had given me of the safety of one so deservedly dear to us
She must be an excellent young Lady answered she I have just left her—You must not see her yet—
Ah madam said I and looked surprised and grieved I believe—
Dont affright yourself Sir Miss Byron will do very well But she must be kept quiet She has had a happy deliverance—She—
O madam interrupted I your generous your noble brother—
Is the best of men Mr Reeves His delight is in doing good—And as to this adventure it has made him I am sure a very happy man
But is my cousin madam so ill that I cannot be allowed to see her for one moment
She is but just come out of a fit She fell into it in the relation she would have made of her story on mentioning the villains name by whom she has suffered She could give only broken and imperfect accounts
of herself all day yesterday or you had heard from me sooner When you see her you must be very cautious of what you say to her We have a skilful physician by whose advice we proceed
God for ever bless you madam
He has not long left her He advises quiet She has had a very bad night Could she compose herself could she get a little natural rest the cure is performed Have you breakfasted Sir
Breakfasted madam My impatience to see my cousin allowed me not to think of breakfast
You must breakfast with me Sir And when that is over if she is tolerable we will acquaint her with your arrival and go up together I read your impatience Sir We will make but a very short breakfasting I was just going to breakfast
She rang It was brought in
I longed I said as we sat at tea to be acquainted with the particulars of the happy deliverance
We avoid asking any questions that may affect her I know very little of the particulars myself My brother was in haste to get to town The servants that were with him at the time hardly dismounted He doubted not but the Lady to whom he referred me for the gratifying my curiosity would be able to tell me everything But she fell into fits and as I told you was so ill on the recollection of what she had suffered—
Good God said I what must the dear creature have suffered
—That we thought fit to restrain our curiosity and so must you till we see Sir Charles I expect him before noon
I am told madam that there was a skirmish I hope Sir Charles—
I hope so too Mr Reeves interrupted she I long to see my brother as much as you can do to see your cousin—But on my apprehensions he assured me
upon his honour that he was but very slightly hurt Sir Charles is no qualifier Sir when he stakes his honour be the occasion either light or serious
I said I doubted not but she was very much surprised at a Ladys being brought in by Sir Charles and in a dress so fantastic
I was Sir I had not left my chamber But hastened down at the first word to receive and welcome the stranger My maid out of breath burst into my room—Sir Charles madam beseeches you this moment to come down He has saved a Lady from robbers that was her report a very fine Lady and is come back with her He begs that you will come down this instant
I was too much surprised at my brothers unexpected return and too much affected with the Ladys visible grief and terror to attend to her dress when I first went down She was sitting dreadfully trembling and Sir Charles next her in a very tender manner assuring her of his and of his sisters kindest protection I saluted her continued the Lady Welcome welcome thrice welcome to this house and to me—
She threw herself on one knee to me Distress had too much humbled her Sir Charles and I raised her to her seat You see before you madam said she a strange creature and looked at her dress But I hope you will believe I am an innocent one This vile appearance was not my choice Fie upon me I must be thus dressed out for a Masquerade Hated diversion I never had a notion of it Think not hardly Sir turning to Sir Charles her hands clasped and held up of her whom you have so generously delivered Think not hardly of me madam turning to me I am not a bad creature That vile vile man—She could say no more
Charlotte said my brother you will make it your first care to raise the spirits of this injured beauty Your next to take her directions and inform her
friends of her safety Such an admirable young Lady as this cannot be missed an hour without exciting the fears of all her friends for her I repeat madam that you are in honourable hands My sister will have pleasure in obliging you
She wished to be conveyed to town but looking at her dress I offered her cloaths of mine and my brother said if she were very earnest and thought herself able to go he would take horse and leave the chariot and he was sure that I would attend her thither
But before she could declare her acceptance of this offer as she seemed joyfully ready to do her spirits failed her and she sunk down at my feet
Sir Charles just staid to see her come to herself and then—Sister said he the Lady cannot be removed Let Dr Holmes be sent for instantly I know you will give her your best attendance I will be with you before noon tomorrow The Lady is too low and too weak to be troubled with questions now Johnson will be back from Windsor Let him take her commands to any of her friends Adieu dear madam—Your cousin Sir seemed likely to faint again Support yourself Repeating You are in safe and honourable hands bowing to her as she bowed in return but spoke not—Adieu Charlotte And away went the best of brothers
And God Almighty bless him said I whereever he goes
Miss Grandison then told me that the house I was in belonged to the Earl of L who had lately married her elder sister About three months ago they set out she said to pay a visit to my Lords estate and relations in Scotland for the first time and to settle some affairs there They were expected back in a week or fortnight She came down but last Tuesday and that in order to give directions for everything to be prepared for their reception It was happy for
your cousin said she that I obtained the favour of my brothers company and that he was obliged to be in town this morning He intended to come back to carry me to town this evening We are a family of love Mr Reeves We are true brothers and sisters—But why do I trouble you with these things now We shall be better acquainted I am charmed with Miss Byron
She was so good as to hurry the breakfast and when it was over conducted me up stairs She bid me stay at the door and stept gently to the bedside and opening the curtain I heard the voice of our cousin
Dear madam what trouble do I give were her words
Still talk of trouble Miss Byron answered Miss Grandison with an amiable familiarity you will not forbear—Will you promise me not to be surprised at the arrival of your cousin Reeves
I do promise—I shall rejoice to see him
Miss Grandison called to me I approached and catching my cousins heldout hand Thank God thank God best beloved of an hundred hearts said I that once more I behold you that once more I see you in safe and honourable hands—I will not tell you what we have all suffered
No dont said she—You need not—But O my cousin I have fallen into the company of angels
Forbear gently patting her hand forbear these high flights said the kind Lady or I shall beat my charming patient I shall not think you in a way to be quite well till you descend
She whispered me that the doctor had expressed fears for her head if she were not kept quiet Then raising her voice Your cousins gratitude Mr Revees is excessive You must allow me smiling to beat her When she is well she shall talk of angels and of what she pleases
But my dear Mr Selby we who know how her heart overflows with sentiments of gratitude on every common obligation and even on but intentional ones can easily account for the high sense she must have of those she lies under for such a deliverance from the brother and of such kind treatment from the sister both absolute strangers till her distresses threw her into their protection
I will only ask my dear Miss Byron one question said I forgetting the caution given me below by Miss Grandison Whether this villain by his violence—meant marriage I was going to say But interrupting me You shall not Mr Reeves said Miss Grandison smiling ask half a question that may revive disagreeable remembrances Is she not alive and here and in a way to be well Have patience till she is able to tell you all
My cousin was going to speak My dear said the Lady you shall not answer Mr Reevess question if it be a question that will induce you to look backward At present you must look only forward And are you not in my care and in Sir Charles Grandisons protection
I have done madam said I bowing—The desire of taking vengeance—
Hush Mr Revees—Surely—Smiling and holding her finger to her lip
It is a patients duty said my cousin to submit to the prescriptions of her kind physician But were I ever to forgive the author of my distresses it must be for his being the occasion of bringing me into the knowlege of such a Lady And yet to lie under the weight of obligations that I never can return—Here she stopt
I took this as a happy indication that the last violence was not offered If it had she would not have mentioned forgiving the author of her distress
As to what you say of obligation Miss Byron returned
Miss Grandison let your heart answer for mine had you and I changed situation And if on such a supposition you can think that your humanity would have been so extraordinary a matter then shall you be at liberty when you are recovered to say a thousand fine things Till when pray be silent on this subject
Then turning to me See how much afraid your cousin Byron is of lying under obligation I am afraid she has a proud heart Has she not a very proud heart Mr Reeves
She has a very grateful one madam replied I
She turned to my cousin Will you Miss Byron be easy under the obligations you talk of or will you not
I submit to your superiority madam in everything replied my cousin bowing her head
She then asked me if I had let her friends in the country know of this shocking affair
I had suspected Mr Greville I said and had written in confidence to her uncle Selby—
O my poor grandmamma—O my good aunt Selby and my Lucy—I hope—
Miss Grandison interposed humorously interrupting—I will have nothing said that begins with O Indeed Miss Byron Mr Reeves I will not trust you together—Cannot you have patience—
We both asked her pardon My cousin desired leave to rise—But these odious cloaths said she—
If you are well enough child replied Miss Grandison you shall rise and have no need to see those odious cloaths as you call them I told them Mrs Reeves had sent her some of her cloaths The portmanteau was ordered to be brought up
Then Miss Grandison sitting down on the bed by my cousin took her hand and feeling her pulse Are you sure my patient that you shall not suffer if you are permitted to rise Will you be calm serene easy
Will you banish curiosity Will you endeavour to avoid recollection
I will do my endeavour answered my cousin
Miss Grandison then rung and a maidservant coming up Jenny said she pray give your best assistance to my lovely patient But be sure dont let her hurry her spirits I will lead Mr Reeves into my dressingroom And when you are dressed my dear we will either return to you here or expect you to join us there at your pleasure
And then she obligingly conducted me into her dressingroom and excused herself for refusing to let us talk of interesting subjects I am rejoiced said she to find her more sedate and composed than hitherto she has been Her head has been greatly in danger Her talk for some hours when she did talk was so wild and incoherent and she was so full of terror on every ones coming in her sight that I would not suffer anybody to attend her but myself
I left her not continued Miss Grandison till eleven and the housekeeper and my maid sat up in her room all the rest of the night
I arose before my usual time to attend her I slept not well myself I did nothing but dream of robbers rescues and murders Such an impression had the distress of this young Lady made on my mind
They made me a poor report proceeded she of the night she had passed And as I told you she fainted away this morning a little before you came on her endeavouring to give me some account of her affecting story
Let me tell you Mr Reeves I am as curious as you can be to know the whole of what has befallen her But her heart is tender and delicate Her spirits are low and we must not pull down with one hand what we build up with the other My brother also will expect a good account of my charge
I blessed her for her goodness And finding her
desirous of knowing all that I could tell her of our cousins character family and Lovers I gave her a brief history which extremely pleased her Good God said she what a happiness is it that such a Lady in such a distress should meet with a man as excellent and as much admired as herself My brother Mr Reeves can never marry but he must break half a score hearts Forgive me that I bring him in whenever any good person or thing or action, is spoken of Everybody I believe who is strongly possessed of a subject makes everything seen heard or read of that bears the least resemblance turn into and illustrate that subject
But here I will conclude this Letter in order to send it by the post Besides I have been so much fatigued in body and mind and my wife has also been so much disturbed in her mind that I must give way to a call of rest
I will pursue the subject the now agreeable subject in the morning and perhaps shall dispatch what I shall farther write as you must be impatient for it by an especial messenger
Sir Rowland was here twice yesterday and once today My wife caused him to be told that Miss Byron by a sudden call has been obliged to go a little way out of town for two or three days
He proposes to set out for Caermarthen the beginning of next week He hoped he should not be denied taking his corporal leave of her
If our cousin has a good day tomorrow and no return of her fits she proposes to be in town on Monday I am to wait on her and Sir Charles and his sister at breakfast on Monday morning and to attend her home where there will be joy indeed on her arrival
Pray receive for yourself and make for me to your Lady and all friends my compliments of congratulation
I have not had either leisure or inclination to enquire after the villain who has given us all this disturbance
Ever ever yours ARCHIBALD REVEES
Saturday Night
MISS Grandison went to my cousin to see how she bore rising supposing her near dressed
She soon returned to me The most charming woman I think said she I ever saw But she trembles so that I have persuaded her to lie down I answered for you that you would stay dinner
I must beg excuse madam I have an excellent wife She loves Miss Byron as her life She will be impatient to know—
Well well well say no more Mr Reeves My brother has redeemed one prisoner and his sister has taken another And glad you may be that it is no worse
I bowed and looked silly I believe
You may look and beg and pray Mr Reeves When you know me better youll find me a very whimsical creature But you must stay to see Sir Charles Would you go home to your wife with half your errand She wont thank you for that I can tell you let her be as good a woman as the best But to comfort you we give not into every modern fashion We dine earlier than most people of our condition My brother tho in the main above singularity will nevertheless in things he thinks right be governd by his own rules which are the laws of reason and convenience You are on horseback and were I you such good news as I should have to carry considering
what might have happened would give me wings and make me fly thro the air with it
I was about to speak Come come I will have no denial interrupted she I shall have a double pleasure if you are present when Sir Charles comes on hearing his account of what happened You are a good man and have a reasonable quantity of wonder and gratitude to heighten a common case into the marvellous So sit down and be quiet
I was equally delighted and surprised at her humorous raillery but could not answer a single word If it be midnight before you will suffer me to depart thought I I will not make another objection
While this amiable Lady was thus entertaining me we heard the trampling of horses—My brother said she I hope—He comes pardon the fondness of a sister who speaks from sensible effects—A father and a brother in one
Sir Charles entered the room He addressed himself to me in a most polite manner Mr Reeves said he as I understand from below—Then turning to his sister Excuse me Charlotte I heard this worthy gentleman was with you And I was impatient to know how my fair guest—
Miss Byron is in a good way I hope interrupted she but very weak and lowspirited She arose and dressed but I have prevailed on her to lie down again
Then turning to me with a noble air he both welcomed and congratulated me
Sir Charles Grandison is indeed a fine figure He is in the bloom of youth I dont know that I have ever seen an handsomer or genteeler man Well might his sister say that if he married he would break half a score hearts O this vile Pollexfen thought I at the moment Could he draw upon has he hurt such a man as this
After pouring out my acknowlegements in the name
of several families as well as my own I could not but enquire into the nature of the hurt he had received
A very trifle—My coat only was hurt Mr Reeves The skin of my left shoulder raked a little putting his hand upon it
Thank God said I Thank God said Miss Grandison—But so near—O the villain what might it have been—
Sir Hargrave pent up in a chariot had great disadvantage My reflexions on the event of yesterday yield me the more pleasure as I have on enquiry understood that he will do well again if he will be ruled I would not on any account have had his instant death to answer for But no more of this just now Give me the particulars of the young Ladys state of health I left her in a very bad way—You had advice
Miss Grandison gave her brother an account of all that had been done and of everything that had passed since he went away as also of the character and excellencies of the Lady whom he had rescued
I confirmed what she said in my cousins favour and he very gratefully thanked his sister for her care as a man would do for one the nearest and dearest to him
We then besought him to give an account of the glorious action which had restored to all that knew her the darling of our hearts
I will relate all he said in the first person as nearly in his own words as possible and will try to hit the coolness with which he told the agreeable story
You know sister said he the call I had to town It was happy that I yielded to your importunity to attend you hither
About two miles on this side Hounslow I saw a chariotandsix driving at a great rate I also had ordered Jerry to drive pretty fast
The coachman seemed inclined to dispute the
way with mine This occasioned a few moments stop to both I ordered my coachman to break the way I dont love to stand upon trisles My horses were fresh I had not come far
The curtain of the chariot we met was pulled down I saw not who was in it But on turning out of the way I knew by the arms it was Sir Hargrave Pollexfens
There was in it a gentleman who immediately pulled up the canvas
I saw however before he drew it up another person wrapt up in a mans scarlet cloak
For Gods sake help help cried out the person For Gods sake help
I ordered my coachman to stop
Drive on said the gentleman cursing his coachman Drive on when I bid you
Help again cried she but with a voice as if her mouth was half stopt
I called to my servants on horseback to stop the postition of the other chariot And I bid Sir Hargraves coachman proceed at his peril
Sir Hargrave called out on the contrary side of the chariot his canvas being still up on that next me with vehement execrations to drive on
I alighted and went round to the other side of the chariot
Again the Lady endeavoured to cry out I saw Sir Hargrave struggle to pull over her mouth an handkerchief which was tied round her head He swore outrageously
The moment she beheld me she spread out both her hands For Gods sake—
Sir Hargrave Pollexfen said I by the arms—You are engaged I doubt in a very bad affair
I am Sir Hargrave Pollexfen and am carrying a fugitive wife—Your own wife Sir Hargrave—
Yes by G— said be and she was going to
elope from me at a damnd Masquerade—See drawing aside the cloak detected in the very dress
O no no no said the Lady—
Proceed coachman said he and cursed and swore—
Let me ask the Lady a question Sir Hargrave
You are impertinent Sir Who the devil are you
Are you madam Lady Pollexfen said I
O no no no—was all she could say—
Two of my servants came about me a third held the head of the horse on which the postilion sat
Three of Sir Hargraves approached on their horses but seemed as if afraid to come too near and parleyd together
Have an eye to those fellows said I Some base work is on foot Youll presently be aided by passengers Sirrah said I to the coachman forhelashd the horses on proceed at your peril
Sir Hargrave then with violent curses and threatenings ordered him to drive over every one that opposed him
Coachman proceed at your peril said I Madam will you—
O Sir Sir Sir relieve help me for Gods sake I am in a villains hands Trickd vilely trickd into a villains hands Help help for Gods sake
Do you said I to Frederick cut the traces if you cannot otherwise stop this chariot Bid Jerry cut the reins and then seize as many of those fellows as you can Leave Sir Hargrave to me
The lady continued screaming and crying out for help
Sir Hargrave drew his sword which he had held between his knees in the scabbard and then called upon his servants to fire at all that opposed his progress
My servants Sir Hargrave have firearms as well
as yours They will not dispute my orders Dont provoke me to give the word
Then addressing the Lady Will you madam put yourself into my protection
O yes yes yes with my whole heart—Dear good Sir protect me
I opened the chariotdoor Sir Hargrave made a pass at me Take that and be damnd to you for your insolence scoundrel said he
I was aware of his thurst and put it by but his sword a little raked my shoulder
My sword was in my hand but undrawn
The chariotdoor remaining open I was not so ceremonious as to let down the footstep to take the gentleman out I seized him by the collar before he could recover himself from the pass he had made at me and with a jerk and a kind of twist laid him under the hindwheel of his chariot
I wrenchd his sword from him and snappd it and flung the two pieces over my head
His coachman cried out for his master Mine threatened his if he stirred The postilion was a boy My servant had made him dismount before he joined the other two whom I had ordered aloud to endeavour to seize but my view was only to terrify wretches who knowing the badness of their cause were before terrified
Sir Hargraves mouth and face were very bloody I believe I might hurt him with the pommel of my sword
One of his legs in his sprawling had got between the spokes of his chariotwheel I thought that was a fortunate circumstance for preventing further mischief and charged his coachman not to stir with the chariot for his masters sake
He cried out cursed and swore I believe he was bruised with the fall The jerk was violent So little able to support an offence Sir Hargrave
upon his own principles should not have been so ready to give it
I had not drawn my sword I hope I never shall be provoked to do it in a private quarrel I should not however have scrupled to draw it on such an occasion as this had there been an absolute necessity for it
The Lady though greatly terrified had disengaged herself from the mans cloak I had not leisure to consider her dress but I was struck with her figure and more with her terror
I offered my hand I thought not now of the footstep any more than I did before She not of any-thing, as it seemed but her deliverance
Have you not read Mr Reeves Pliny I think gives the relation) of a frighted bird that pursued by an hawk flew for protection into the bosom of a man passing by
In like manner your lovely cousin the moment I returned to the chariotdoor instead of accepting of my offered hand threw herself into my arms—O save me save me—She was ready to faint She could not I believe have stood
I carried the lovely creature round Sir Hargraves horses and seated her in my chariot Be assured madam said I that you are in honourable hands I will convey you to my sister who is a young Lady of honour and virtue
She lookd out at one window then at the other in visible terror as if fearing still Sir Hargrave Fear nothing said I I will attend you in a moment I shut the chariotdoor
I then went backward a few paces keeping however the Lady in my eye to see what had become of my servants
It seems that at their first coming up pretty near with Sir Hargraves horsemen they presented their pistols
What shall we do Wilkins or Wilson or some such name said one of Sir Hargraves men to another all three of them on their defence Fly for it answered the fellow We may swing for this I see our master down There may be murder
Their consciences put them to slight
My servants pursued them a little way but were returning to support their master just as I had put the lady into my chariot
I saw Sir Hargrave at a distance on his legs supported by his coachman He limped leaned his whole weight upon his servant and seemed to be in agonies
I bid one of my servants tell him who I was
He cursed me and threatened vengeance He cursed my servants and still more outrageously his own scoundrels as he called them
I then stept back to my chariot
Miss Byron had thro terror sunk down at the bottom of it where she lay panting and could only say on my approach Save me Save me
I reassured her I listed her on the seat and brought her to my sister And what followed I suppose Charlotte bowing to her you have told Mr Reeves
We were both about to break out in grateful applauses but Sir Charles as if designing to hinder us proceeded
You see Mr Reeves what an easy conquest this was You see what a small degree of merit falls to my share The violators conscience was against him The consciences of his fellows were on my side My own servants are honest worthy men They love their master In a good cause I would set any three of them against six who were engagd in a bad one Vice is the greatest coward in the world when it knows it will be resolutely opposd
And what have good men engaged in a right cause to fear
What an admirable man is Sir Charles Grandison—Thus thinking Thus acting
I explained to Sir Charles who this Wilson was whom the others consulted and were directed by and what an implement in this black transaction
To what other mans protection in the world Mr Selby could our kinswoman have been obliged and so little mischief followed
Sir Hargrave it seems returned back to town What a recreant figure my dear Mr Selby must he make even to himself—A villain
Sir Charles says that the turnpikemen at Smallbury Green told his servants on their attending him to town after the happy rescue a formidable story of a robbery committed a little beyond Hounslow by half a dozen villains on horseback upon a gentleman in a chariot and six which had passed thro that turnpike but half an hour before he was a tacked and that the gentleman about an hour and half before Sir Charles went thro returned to town wounded for advice and they heard him groan as he passed through the turnpike
I should add one circumstance said Sir Charles Do you know Charlotte that you have a rake for your brother—A man on horseback it seems came to the turnpikegate whilst the turnpikemen were telling my servants this story Nothing in the world said he but two young rakes in their chariotsandsix one robbing the other of a lady I and two other passengers added the man stood aloof to see the issue of the affair We expected mischief And some there was One of the bystanders was the better for the fray for he took up a silverhilted sword broken in two pieces and rode off with it
Sir Hargrave said Sir Charles smiling might well give out that he was robbed to lose such a prize as Miss Byron and his sword besides
I asked Sir Charles If it were not advisable to take measures with the villain
He thought it best he said to take as little notice of the affair as possible unless the aggressor stirrd in it Masquerades added he are not creditable places for young ladies to be known to be insulted at them They are diversions that fall not in with the genius of the English commonalty Scandal will have something to say from that circumstance however causeless But miss Byrons story told by herself will enable you to resolve upon your future measures
So Sir Charles seems not to be a friend to Masquerades
I think were I to live an hundred years I never would go to another Had it not been for Lady Betty—She has indeed too gay a turn for a woman of forty and a mother of children Miss Byron I dare say will be afraid of giving the lead to her for the future But excepting my wife and self nobody in town has suffered more than Lady Betty on this occasion Indeed she is I must say an obliging wellmeaning woman And she also declares so much has she been affected with Miss Byrons danger of which she takes herself to be the innocent cause that she will never again go to a Masquerade
I long to have Miss Byrons account of this horrid affair—God grant that it may not be such a one as will lay us under a necessity—But as our cousin has a great notion of female delicacy—I know not what I would say—We must have patience a little while longer
Miss Grandisons eyes shone with pleasure all the time her brother was giving his relation
I can only say my brother said she when he had done that you have rescued an angel of a woman and you have made me as happy by it as yourself
I have a generous sister Mr Reeves said Sir Charles
Till I knew my brother Mr Reeves as I now
know him I was an inconsiderate unreflecting girl Good and evil which immediately affected not my self were almost alike indifferent to me But he has awakened in me a capacity to enjoy the true pleasure that arises from a benevolent action
Depreciate not my Charlotte your own worth Absence Mr Reeves endears I have been long abroad Not much above a year returned But when you know us better you will find I have a partial sister
Mr Reeves will not then think me so But I will go and see how my fair patient does
She went accordingly to my cousin
O Sir Charles said I what an admirable woman is Miss Grandison
My sister Charlotte Mr Reeves is indeed an excellent woman I think myself happy in her But I tell her sometimes that I have still a more excellent sister And it is no small instance of Charlottes greatness of mind that she herself will allow me to say so
Just then came in the ladies The two charming creatures entered together Miss Grandison supporting my trembling cousin But she had first acquainted her that she would find Sir Charles in her dressing room
She lookd indeed lovely tho wan at her first entrance But a fine glow overspread her cheeks at the sight of her deliverer
Sir Charles approached her with an air of calmness and serenity for fear of giving her emotion She cast her eyes upon him with a look of the most respectful gratitude
I will not oppress my fair guest with many words But permit me to congratulate you as I hope I may on your recovered spirits—Allow me madam—
And he took her almost motionless hand and conducted her to an easy chair that had been set for her She sat down and would have said something but
only bowed to Sir Charles to Miss Grandison and me and reclined her head against the check of the chair
Miss Grandison held her salts to her
She took them into her own hands and smelling to them raised her head a little Forgive me madam Pardon me Sir—O my cousin to me—How can I—So oppressed with obligations—Such goodness—No words—My gratitude—My full heart—
And then she again reclined her head as giving up hopelesly the effort she made to express her gratitude
You must not madam said Sir Charles sitting down by her overrate a common benefit—Dear Miss Byron Permit me to address myself to you as of long acquaintance by what Mr Reeves has told my sister and both have told me I must think yesterday one of the happiest days of my life I am sorry that our acquaintance has begun so much at your cost But you must let us turn this evil appearance into real good I have two sisters The world produces not more worthy women Let me henceforth boast that I have three And shall I not then have rea•on to rejoice in the event that has made so lovely an addition to my family
Then taking her passive hand with the tenderness of a truly affectionate brother consoling a sister in calamity and taking his sisters and joining both Shall I not madam present my Charlotte to a sister And will you not permit me to claim as a brother under that relation—Our Miss Byrons christian name Mr Reeves
Harriet Sir
My sister Harriet receive and acknowlege your Charlotte My Charlotte—
Miss Grandison arose and saluted my cousin who lookd at Sir Charles with reverence as well as gratitude at Miss Grandison with delight and at me with eyes lifted up And after a little struggle for
speech How shall I bear this goodness said she—This indeed is bringing good out of evil—Did I not say my cousin that I was fallen into the company of angels
I was afraid she would have fainted
We must endeavour Mr Reeves said Sir Chales to me to lessen the sense our Miss Byron has of her past danger in order to bring down to reasonable limits the notion she has of her obligation for a common relief
Miss Grandison ordered a few drops on Sugar—You must be orderly my sister Harriet said she Am I not your elder sister My elder sister makes me do what she pleases
Oh Madam said my cousin—
Call me not Madam call me your Charlotte My brother has given me and himself a sister—Will you not own me
How can an heart bowed down by obligation and goodness never to be returned rise to that lovely familiarity by which the obligers so generously distinguish themselves My lips and my heart I will be so bold as to say ever went together But how—And yet so sweetly invited My—My—My Charlotte withdrawing her hand from Sir Charles and clasping both her arms round Miss Grandisons neck the two worthi••• bosoms of the sex joining as one take your Harriet person and mind—May I be found worthy on proof of all this goodness
LADY Betty has just left us I read to her what I have written since my visit to Colnebrooke She shall not she says recover her eyes for a week to come
The women Mr Selby are ever looking forward on certain occasions Lady Betty and my wife extended their wishes so far as that they might be able to call Miss Grandison and our Miss Byron sisters but by a claim that should exclude Sir Charles as a brother to one of them
Should Sir Charles—But no more on this subject—Yet one word more When the ladies had mentiond it I could not help thinking that this graceful and truly fine gentleman seems to be the only man whom our cousin has yet seen that would meet with no great difficulty from her on such an application
But Sir Charles has a great estate and still greater expectations from my Lord W His sister says he would break half a score hearts were he to marry—So for that matter would our Miss Byron But once more—Not another word however on this subject
I stayed to dine with this amiable brother and sister My cousin exerted herself to go down and sat at table for one halfhour But changing countenance once or twice as she sat Miss Grandison would attend her up and make her lie down I took leave of her at her quitting the table
On Monday I hope to see her once more among us
If our dear Miss Byron cannot write you will perhaps have one letter more my dear Mr Selby from
Your everaffectionate ARCHIBALD REEVES
My servant is this moment returned with your letter Indeed my dear Mr Selby there are two or three passages in it that would have cut me to the heart a had not the dear creature been so happily restored to our hopes
Monday Night Feb 20
I WILL write one more letter my dear cousin Selby and then I will give up my pen to our beloved cousin
I got to Colnebrooke by nine this morning I had the pleasure to find our Miss Byron recovered beyond my hopes She had a very good night on Saturday and all Sunday she said was a cordial day to her from morning till night and her night was quiet and happy
Miss Grandison staid at home yesterday to keep my cousin company Sir Charles passed the greatest part of the day in the library The two ladies were hardly ever separated My cousin expresses herself in raptures whenever she speaks of this brother and sister Miss Grandison she says and indeed every one must see it is one of the frankest and most communicative of women Sir Charles appears to be one of the most unreserved of men as well as one of the most polite He makes not his guests uneasy with his civilities But you see freedom and ease in his whole deportment and the stranger cannot doubt but Sir Charles will be equally pleased with freedom and ease in return I had an encouraging proof of the justness of this observation this morning from him as we sat at breakfast I had expressed myself occasionally in such a manner as shewed more respect than freedom My dear Mr Reeves said he kindred minds will be intimate at first sight Receive me early into the list of your friends I have already numbered you among mine I should think amiss of myself if so good a man as I am assured Mr Reeves is should by his distance shew a diffidence of me that would not permit his mind to mingle with mine
Miss Grandison my cousin says put her on relateing to her her whole history and the histories of the several persons and families to whom she is related
Miss Byron concluding as well as I that Sir Charles would rather take his place in the coach than go on horseback to town and being so happily recovered as not to give us apprehension about her bearing tolerably the little journey I kept my horse in our return
and Sir Charles went in the coach This motion coming from Miss Byron I raillied her upon it when I got her home But she wont forgive me if she knows that I told you whose the motion was And yet the dear creatures eyes sparkled with pleasure when she had carried her point
I was at home near half an hour before the coach arrived and was a welcome guest
My dear Mrs Reeves told me she had expected our arrival before dinner and hoped Sir Charles and his sister would dine with us I hoped so too I told her
I found there Lady Betty and Miss Clements a favourite of us all both impatiently waiting to see my cousin
Dont be jealous Mr Reeves said my wife if after what I have heard of Sir Charles Grandison and what he has done for us I run to him with open arms
I give you leave my dear to love him replied I and to express your love in what manner you please
I have no doubt said Lady Betty that I shall break my heart if Sir Charles takes not very particular notice of me
He shall have my prayers as well as my praises said Miss Clements
She is acquainted with the whole shocking affair
When the coach stopt and the bell rung the servants contended who should first run to the door I welcomed them at the coach Sir Charles handed out Miss Byron I Miss Grandison Sally said my cousin to her raptured maid take care of Mrs Jenny
Sir Charles was received by Mrs Reeves as I expected She was almost speechless with joy He saluted her But I think as I tell her the first motion was hers He was then obliged to go round and my cousin I do assure you looked as if she would not wish to have been neglected
As soon as the ladies could speak they poured out
their blessings and thanks to him and to Miss Grandison whom with a most engaging air he presented to each lady and she as engagingly saluted her sister Harriet by that tender relation and congratulated them and Miss Byron and herself upon it kindly bespeaking a family relation for herself thro her dear Miss Byron were her words
When we were seated my wife and Lady Betty wanted to enter into the particulars of the happy deliverance in praise of the deliverer but Sir Charles interrupting them My dear Mrs Reeves said he you cannot be too careful of this jewel Everything may be trusted to her own discretion but how can we well blame the man who would turn thief for so rich a treasure I do assure you my sister Harriet Do you know Mrs Reeves that I have found my third sister Was she not stolen from us in her cradle that if Sir Hargrave will repent I will forgive him for the sake of the temptation
Mrs Reeves was pleased with this address and has talked of it since
I never can forgive him Sir said Miss Byron were it but—
That he has laid you under such an obligation said Miss Grandison patting her hand with her fan as she sat overagainst her But hush child You said that before—And then turning to Mrs Reeves Has not our newfound sister a very proud heart Mrs Reeves
And dearest Miss Grandison replyd my smiling delighted cousin did you not ask that question before
I did child I did but not of Mrs Reeves—A compromise however—Do you talk no more of obligation and Ill talk no more of pride
Charlotte justly chides her Harriet said Sir Charles What must the man have been that had declined his aid in a distress so alarming Not one word more therefore upon this subject
We were all disappointed that this amiable brother and sister excused themselves from dining with us All I mean of our own family for Lady Betty and Miss Clements not being able to stay were glad they did not
They took leave amidst a thousand grateful blessings and acknowlegements Miss Grandison promising to see her sister Harriet very soon again and kindly renewing her wishes of intimacy
When they went away There goes your heart Miss Byron said Mrs Reeves
True answered Miss Byron if my heart have no place in it for any-thing but gratitude as I believe it has not
Miss Grandison added she is the most agreeable of women—
And Sir Charles rejoined Mrs Reeves archly is the most disagreeable of men
Forbear cousin replyd Miss Byron and blushd
Well well said Lady Betty you need not my dear be ashamed if it be so
Indeed you need not joined in Miss Clements I never saw a finer man in my life Such a lover if one might have him—
If if—replied Miss Byron—But till if is out of the question should there not be such a thing as discretion Miss Clements
No doubt of it returned that young Lady and if it be to be shewn by any woman on earth where there is such a man as this in the question and in such circumstances it must be by Miss Byron
Miss Byron was not so thoroughly recovered but that her spirits began to stag We made her retire and at her request excused her coming down to dinner
I told you I had accepted of the offer made by Lady Betty when we were in dreadful uncertainty that her steward should make further enquiries about the
people at Paddington Nothing worth mentioning has occurred from those enquiries except confirming that the widow and her daughters are not people of bad characters In all likelihood they thought they should intitle themselves to the thanks of all Miss Byrons friends when the marriage was completed with a man of Sir Hargraves fortune
The messenger that I sent to enquire after that Bagenhalls character has informed us that it is a very profligate one and that he is an intimate of Sir Hargrave But no more is necessary now God be praised to be said of him
The vile wretch himself I hear keeps his room and it is whispered that he is more than halfcrazed insomuch that his very attendants are afraid to go near him We know not the nature of his hurt but hurt he is tho in a fair way of recovery He threatens it seems destruction to Sir Charles the moment he is able to go abroad God preserve one of the worthiest and best of men
Sir Hargrave has turned off all the servants we are told that attended him on his shocking but happilydisappointed enterprize
Miss Byron intends to write to her Lucy by tomorrows post if she continue mending an ample account of all that she suffered from the date of her last letter to the hour of her happy deliverance I am to give her minutes to the best of my recollection of what I have written to you that so the account may be as complete as possible and that she may write no more than is consistent with the series, which she is required to preserve She begins this evening she bids me tell you that you may be as little a while in suppense about her as possible But if she cannot finish by tomorrow night she will have an opportunity to dispatch her letter on Wednesday by a servant of Mr Grevilles whom he left in town with some commissions and who promises to call for any-thing we may have to send to Selbyhouse
Sir Rowland—But let my cousin write to you upon that and other matters She knows what to say on that subject better than I do
Mean time I heartily congratulate every one of the dear family upon the return and safety of the darling of so many hearts and remain dear Mr Selby
Your most faithful and obedient Servant ARCHIBALD REEVES
Monday Feb 20
IS it again given me to write to you my Lucy and in you to all my revered friends To write with chearfulness To call upon you all to rejoice with me—God be praised
What dangers have I escaped How have my head and my heart been affected I dare not as yet think of the anguish you all endured for me
With what wretched levity did I conclude my last Letter Giddy creature that I was vain and foolish
But let me begin my sad story Your impatience all this while must be too painful Only let me premise that gaily as I boasted when I wrote to you so conceitedly as it might seem of my dress and of conquests and I know not what nonsense I took no pleasure at the place in the shoals of fools that swam after me I despised myself and them Despised I was shocked at both
Two Lucisers were among them But the worst the very worst Lucifer of all appeared in a Harlequin dress He hopped and skipt and played the fool about me and at last told me He knew Miss Byron and that he was as he called himself the despised the rejected Sir Hargrave Pollexfen
He behaved however with complaisance and I had no apprehension of what I was to suffer from his villainy
Mr Reeves has told you that he saw me into the chair provided for me by my vile new servant O my Lucy One branch of my vanity is intirely lopt off I must pretend to some sort of skill in physiognomy Never more will I for this fellows sake presume to depend on my judgment of peoples hearts framed from their countenances
Mr Reeves has told you everything about the chair and the chairmen How can I describe the misgivings of my heart when I first began to suspect treachery But when I undrew the curtains and found myself further deluded by another false heart whose help I implored and in the midst of fields and soon after the lights put out I pierced the night air with my screams till I could scream no more I was taken out in fits And when I came a little to my senses I found myself on a bed three women about me one at my head holding a bottle to my nose my nostrils sore with hartshorn and a strong smell of burnt feathers but no man near me
Where am I Who are you madam And who are you Where am I Were the questions I first asked
The women were a mother and two daughters The mother answered You are not in bad hands
God grant you say truth said I
No harm is intended you only to make you one of the happiest of women We would not be concerned in a bad action
I hope not I hope not Let me engage your pity madam You seem to be a mother These young gentlewomen I presume are your daughters Save me from ruin I beseech you madam Save me from ruin as you would your daughters
These young women are my daughters They are sober and modest women No ruin is intended you
One of the richest and noblest men in England is your admirer He dies for you He assures me that he intends honourable marriage to you You are not engaged he says And you must and you shall be his You may save murder madam if you consent He resolves to be the death of any Lover whom you encourage
This must be the vile contrivance of Sir Hargrave Pollexsen immediately cried I out Is it not Is it not Tell me I beg of you to tell me
I arose and sat on the bedside and at that moment in came the vile vile Sir Hargrave
I screamed out He threw himself at my feet I reclined my head on the bosom of the elderly person and by hartshorn and water they had much ado to keep me out of a fit Had he not withdrawn had he kept in my sight I should certainly have fainted But holding up my head and seeing only the women I revived And began to pray to beg to offer rewards if they would facilitate my escape or procure my safety But then came in again the hated man
I beg of you Miss Byron said he with an air of greater haughtiness than before to make yourself easy and hear what I have to say It is in your own choice in your own power to be what you please and to make me what you please Do not therefore needlesly terrify yourself You see I am a determined man Ladies you may withdraw—
Not and leave me here—And as they went out I pushed by the mother and between the daughters and followed the foremost into the parlour and then sunk down on my knees wrapping my arms about her O save me save me said I
The vile wretch entered I left her and kneeled to him I knew not what I did I remember I said wringing my hands If you have mercy If you have compassion let me now now I beseech you Sir this moment experience your mercy
He gave them some motion I suppose to withdraw for by that time the widow and the other daughter were in the parlour and they all three retired
I have besought you madam and on my knees too to shew me mercy but none would you shew me inexorable Miss Byron Kneel if you will in your turn kneel supplicate pray you cannot be more in earnest than I was Now are the tables turned
Barbarous man said I rising from my knees My spirit was raised But it as instantly subsided I beseech you Sir Hargrave in a quite frantic way wringing my hands and coming near him and then running to the window and then to the door without meaning to go out at either had they been open for whither could I go and then again to him Be not I beseech you Sir Hargrave cruel to me I never was cruel to anybody You know I was civil to you I was very civil—
Yes yes and very determined You called me no names I call you none Miss Byron You were very civil Hitherto I have not been uncivil But remember madam—But sweet and everadorable creature and he clasped his arms about me your very terror is beautiful I can enjoy your terror madam—And the savage would have kissed me My averted head frustrated his intention and at his feet I besought him not to treat the poor creature whom he had so vilely betrayed with indignity
I dont hit your fancy madam
Can you be a malicious man Sir Hargrave
You dont like my morals madam
And is this the way Sir Hargrave are these the means you take to convince me that I ought to like them
Well madam you shall prove the mercy in me you would not shew You shall see that I cannot be a malicious man a revengeful man And yet you
have raised my pride You shall find me a moral man
Then Sir Hargrave will I bless you from the bottom of my heart
But you know what will justify me in every eye for the steps I have taken Be mine madam Be legally mine I offer you my honest hand Consent to be Lady Pollexfen—No punishment I hope—Or take the consequence
What Sir justify by so poor so very poor a compliance steps that you have so basely taken—Take my life Sir But my hand and my heart are my own They never shall be separated
I arose from my knees trembling and threw myself upon the windowseat and wept bitterly
He came to me I looked on this side and on that wishing to avoid him
You cannot fly madam You are securely mine And mine still more securely you shall be Dont provoke me Dont make me desperate By all thats Good and Holy—
He cast his eyes at my feet then at my face then threw himself at my feet and embraced my knees with his odious arms
I was terrified I screamed In ran one of the daughters—Good Sir Pray Sir—Did you not say you would be honourable
Her mother followed her in—Sir Sir In my house—
Thank God thought I the people here are better than I had reason to apprehend the were But O my Lucy they seemed to believe that marriage would make amends for every outrage
Here let me conclude this Letter I have a great deal more to say
WHAT a plague said the wretch to the women do you come in for I thought you knew your own Sex better than to mind a womans squalling They are always ready said the odious fellow to put us in mind of the occasion we ought to give them for crying out I have not offered the least rudeness—
I hope not Sir I hope my house—So sweet a creature—
Dear blessed blessed women frantic with terror and mingled joy to find myself in better hands than I expected—Standing up and then sitting down I believe at every sentence Protect me Save me Be my advocate Indeed I have not deserved this treacherous treatment Indeed I am a good sort of body I scarce knew what I said All my friends love me They will break their hearts if any mishap besal me They are all good people You would love them dearly if you knew them Sir Hargrave may have better and richer wives than I Pray prevail upon him to spare me to my friends for their sake I will forgive him for all he has done
Nay dear Lady if Sir Hargrave will make you his lawful and true wife there can be no harm done surely
I will I will Mrs Awberry said he I have promised and I will perform But if she stand in her own light—She expects nothing from my morals—If she stand in her own light and looked fiercely—
God protect me said I God protect me
The gentleman is without Sir said the woman O how my heart at that moment seemed to be at my throat What gentleman thought I Some one come to save me—O no—
And instantly entered the most horriblelooking clergyman that I ever beh•ld
This as near as I can recollect is his description—A vast tall bigboned splayfooted man A shabby gown as shabby a wig an huge red pimply face and a nose that hid half of it when he looked on one side and he seldom looked fore right when I saw him He had a dogseared commonprayer book in his hand which once had been gilt opened horrid sight at the page of matrimony
Yet I was so intent upon making a friend when a man a clergyman appeared that I heeded not at his entrance his frightful visage as I did afterwards I pushed by Sir Hargrave turning him half round with my vehemence and made Mrs Awberry totter and throwing myself at the clergymans feet Man of God said I my hands clasped and held up Man of God Gentleman Worthy man—A good clergyman must be all this—If ever you had children save a poor creature basely tricked away from all her friends innocent thinking no harm to anybody I would not hurt a worm I love everybody—Save me from violence Give not your aid to sanctify a base action
The man snuffled his answer through his nose When he opened his pouched mouth the tobacco hung about his great yellow teeth He squinted upon me and took my clasped hands▪ which were buried in his huge hand Rise madam Kneel not to me No harm is intended you One question only Who is that gentleman before me in the silverlaced cloaths What is his name—
He is Sir Hargrave Pollexsen Sir A wicked a very wicked man for all he looks so
The vile wretch stood smiling and enjoying my distress
O madam A very honourable man bowing like a sycophant to Sir Hargrave
And who pray madam are you What is your name
Harriet Byron Sir A poor innocent creature looking at my dress though I make such a vile appearance—Good Sir your pity And I sunk down again at his feet
Of Northamptonshire madam You are a single woman Your uncles name—
Is Selby Sir A very good man—I will reward you Sir as the most grateful heart—
All is fair All is aboveboard All is as it was represented I am above bribes madam You will be the happiest of women before day break—Good people—The three women advanced
Then I saw what an ugly wretch he was
Sir Hargrave advanced The Two horrid creatures raised me between them Sir Hargrave took my struggling hand And then I saw another illlooking man enter the room who I suppose was to give me to the hated man
Dearly beloved began to read the snuffling monster—
O my Lucy Does not your heart ake for your Harriet Mine has seemed to turn over and over round and round I dont know how at the recital—It was ready to choak me at the time
I must break off for a few minutes
I WAS again like one frantic Read no more said I and in my phrensy dashed the book out of the ministers hand if a minister he was I beg your pardon Sir said I but you must read no further I am basely betrayed hither I cannot I will not be his
Proceed proceed said Sir Hargrave taking my hand by force virago as she is I will own her for my wife—Are you the gentle the civil Miss Byron madam looking sneeringly in my face
Alas my Lucy I was no virago I was in a perfect phrensy But it was not an unhappy phrensy since in all probability it kept me from falling into fits and fits the villain had said should not save me
Dearly beloved again snuffled the wretch O my Lucy I shall never love these words How may odious circumstances invert the force of the kindest words Sir Hargrave still detained my struggling hand
I stamped and threw myself to the length of my arm as he held my hand No dearly beloveds said I I was just beside myself What to say what to do I knew not
The cruel wretch laughed at me No dearly beloveds repeated he Very comical faith and laughed again But proceed proceed doctor
We are gathered together here in the sight of God read he on
This affected me still more I adjure you Sir to the minister by that God in whose sight you read we are gathered together that you proceed no further I adjure you Sir Hargrave in the same tremendous Name that you stop further proceedings My life take With all my heart take my life But my hand never never will I join with yours
Proceed doctor Doctor pray proceed said the vile Sir Hargrave When the day dawns she will be glad to own her marriage
Proceed at your peril Sir said I If you are really and truly a minister of that God whose presence what you have read supposes do not proceed Do not make me desperate—Madam turning to the widow you are a mother and have given me room to hope you are a good woman look upon me as if I were one of those daughters whom I see before me Could
you see one of them thus treated Dear young women turning to each can you unconcernedly look on and see a poor creature tricked betrayed and thus violently basely treated and not make my case your own Speak for me Plead for me Be my advocate Each of you if ye are women plead for me as you would yourselves wish to be pleaded for in my circumstances and were thus barbarously used
The young women wept The mother was moved
I wonder I kept my head My brain was on fire
Still still the unmoved Sir Hargrave cried out Proceed proceed doctor Tomorrow before noon all will be as it should be
The man who stood aloof the sliest soddenfaced creature I ever saw came nearer—To the question doctor and to my part if you please—Am not I her father—To the question doctor if you please—The gentlewomen will prepare her for what is to follow
O thou man Of heart the most obdurate and vile And will ye looking at every person one hand held up for still the vile man griped the other quite benumbed hand in his iron paw and adjuring each Will ye see this violence done to a poor young creature—A soul gentlewomen you may have to answer for I can die Never never will I be his
Let us women talk to the Lady by ourselves Sir Hargrave Pray your honour let us talk to her by ourselves
Ay ay ay said the parson by all means Let the Ladies talk to one another, Sir She may be brought to consider
He let go my hand The widow took it And was leading me out of the room—Not up stairs I hope madam said I
You shant then said she Come Sally come Deb let us women go out together
They led me into a little room adjoining to the parlour
And then my spirits subsiding I thought I should have fainted away I had more hartshorn and water poured down my throat
When they had brought me a little to myself they pleaded with me Sir Hargraves great estate—What are riches to me Dirt dirt dirt▪ I hate them They cannot purchase peace of mind I want not riches
They pleaded his honourable Love—I my invincible Aversion
He was a handsome man—The most odious in my eyes of the human species Never never should my consent be had to sanctify such a baseness
My danger And that they should not be able to save me from worse treatment—
How—Not able—Ladies madam is not this your own house Cannot you raise a neighbourhood Have you no neighbours A thousand pounds will I order to be paid into your hands for a present before the week is out I pledge my honour for the payment▪ if you will but save me from a violence that no worthy woman can see offered to a distressed young creature—A thousand pounds—Dear Ladies Only to save me and see me safe to my friends
The wretches in the next room no doubt heard all that passed In at that moment came Sir Hargrave Mrs Awberry said he with a visage swelled with malice young Ladies we keep you up we disturb you Pray retire to your own rest Leave me to talk with this perverse woman She is mine
Pray Sir Hargrave said Mrs Awberry—
Leave her to me I say—Miss Byron you shall be mine Your Grevilles madam your Fenwicks your Ormes when they know the pains and the expence I have been at to secure you shall confess me their superior—Shall confess—
In wickedness in cruelty Sir you are every mans superior
You talk of cruelty Miss Byron triumphing over scores of prostrate Lovers madam You remember your treatment of me madam Kneeling like an abject wretch at your feet Kneeling for pity But no pity could touch your heart madam—Ungrateful proud girl—Yet am I not humbling you Take notice of that I am not humbling you I am proprosing to exalt you madam
Vile vile debasement said I
To exalt Miss Byron into Lady Pollexfen And yet if you hold not out your hand to me—
He would have snatched my hand I put it behind me He would have snatched the other I put that behind me too And the vile wretch would then have kissed my undefended neck But with both my hands I pushed his audacious forehead from me Charming creature he called me with passion in his look and accent Then cruel proud ungrateful And swore by his Maker that if I would not give my hand instantly instead of exalting me he would humble me Ladies pray withdraw said he Leave her to me Either Lady Pollexfen or what I please rearing himself proudly up She may be happy if she will Leave her to me
Pray Sir said the youngest of the two daughters and wept for me
Greatly hurt indeed to be the wife of a man of my fortune and consequence But leave her to me I say—I will soon bring down her pride What a devil am I to creep beg pray entreat and only for a wife But madam said the insolent wretch you will be mine upon easier terms perhaps
Madam pray madam said the widow to me consider what you are about and whom you refuse Can you have a handsomer man Can you have a man of a greater fortune Sir Hargrave means nothing but what is honourable You are in his power—
In his power madam returned I I am in yours
You are mistress of this house I claim the protection of it Have you not neighbours Your protection I put myself under Then clasping my arms about her Lock me up from him till you can have help to secure to you the privilege of your own house and deliver me safe to my friends and I will share my fortune with your two daughters
The wicked man took the mother and youngest daughter each by her hand after he had disengaged the former from my clasping arms and led them to the door The elder followed them of her own accord They none of them struggled against going I begged prayed besought them not to go and when they did would have thrust myself out with them But the wretch in shutting them out squeezed me dreadfully as I was half in half out and my nose gushed out with blood
I screamed He seemed frighted But instantly recovering myself—So so you have done your worst—You have killed me I hope I was out of breath my stomach was very much pressed and one of my arms was bruised I have the marks still for he clapt to the door with violence not knowing to do him justice that I was so forward in the doorway
I was in dreadful pain I talked half wildly I remember I threw myself in a chair—So so you have killed me I hope—Well now I hope now I hope you are satisfied Now may you moan over the poor creature you have destroyed For he expressed great tenderness and consternation and I for my part felt such pains in my bosom that having never felt such before I really thought I was bruised to death Repeating my foolish So so—But I forgive you said I—Only Sir call to the gentlewomen Sir—Retire Sir Let me have my own Sex only about me My head swam my eyes failed me and I fainted quite away
I Understood afterwards that he was in the most dreadful consternation He had fastened the door upon me and himself and for a few moments was not enough present to himself to open it Yet crying out upon his God to have mercy upon him and running about the room the women hastily rapped at the door Then he ran to it opened it cursed himself and besought them to recover me if possible
They said I had death in my face They lamented over me My nose had done bleeding But careful of his own safety in the midst of his terror he took my bloody handkerchief if I did not recover he said that should not appear against him and he hastend into the next room and thrust it into the fire by which were sitting it seems the minister and his helper over some burnt brandy
O gentlemen cried the wretch nothing can be done to night Take this and gave them money The Lady is in a sit I wish you well home
The younger daughter reported this to me afterwards and what follows They had desired the maid it seems to bring them more firing and a jug of ale and they would sit in the chimneycorner they said till peep of day But the same young woman who was taken off from her errand to assist me finding me as they all thought not likely to recover ran in to them and declared that the Lady was dead certainly dead and what said she will become of us all This terrified the two men They said It was then time for them to be gone Accordingly taking each of them another dram they snatched up their hats and sticks and away they hurried hoping the doctor said that as they were innocent and only
meant to serve the gentleman their names whatever happened would not be called in question
When I came a little to myself I found the three women only with me I was in a cold sweat all over shivering There was no fire in that room They led me into the parlour which the two men had quitted▪ and set me down in an elbow chair for I could hardly stand or support myself and chased my temples with Hungarywater
Wretched creatures men of this cast my Lucy thus to sport with the healths and happiness of poor creatures whom they pretend to love▪ I am afraid I never shall be what I was At times I am very sensible at my stomach of this violent squeeze
The mother and elder sister left me soon after and went to Sir Hargrave I can only guess at the result of their deliberations by what followed
The younger sister with compassionate frankness answered all my questions and let me know all the above particulars Yet she wonderd that I could refuse so handsome and so rich a man as Sir Hargrave
She boasted much of their reputation Her mother would not do an ill thing she said for the world And she had a brother who had a place in the Customhouse and was as honest a man tho she said it as any in it She owned that she knew my new vile servant and praised his fidelity to the masters he had served in such high terms as if she thought all duties were comprised in that one of obeying his principal right or wrong Mr William she said was a pretty man a genteel man and she believed he was worth money and she was sure would make an excellent husband I soon found that the simple girl was in love with this vile this specious fellow She could not bear to hear me hint any-thing in his disfavour as by way of warning to her I would have done But she was sure Mr William was a downright honest man and that if he were guilty of any
bad thing it was by command of those to whom he owed duty And they are to be answerable for that you know madam
We •ere broken in upon as I was intending to ask more questions for I find this Wilson was the prime agent in all this mischief when the elder sister called out the younger And instantly came in Sir Hargrave
He took a chair and sat down by me one leg thrown over the knee of the other his elbow upon that knee and his hand supporting his bowddown head biting his lips looking at me then from me then at me again five or six times as in malice
Illnatured spiteful moody wretch thought I trembling at his strange silence after such hurt as he had done me and what I had endurd and still felt in my stomach and arm what an odious creature thou art
At last I broke silence I thought I would be as mild as I could and not provoke him to do me further mischief Well have you done Sir Hargrave have you not to commit such a violence upon a poor young creature that never did nor thought you evil
I paused He was silent
What distraction have you given to my poor cousin Reevess How my heart bleeds for them
I stopt He was still silent
I hope Sir your are sorry for the mischief you have done me and for the pain you have given to my friends—I hope Sir—
Cursed said he
I stopt thinking he would go on But he said no more only changing his posture and then resumeing it
These people Sir seem to be honest people I hope you designed only to terrify me Your bringing me into no worse company is an assurance to me that you meant better than—
Devils all interrupted he—
I thought he was going on but he grinned shook his head and then again reclined it upon his hand
I forgive you Sir the pain you have given me—But my friends—As soon as day breaks and I hope that is not far off I will get the women to let my cousin Reeves—
Then up he started—Miss Byron said he you are a woman a true woman—And held up his hand clenched I knew not what to think of his intention
Miss Byron proceeded he after a pause you are the most consummate hypocrite that I ever knew in my life And yet I thought that the best of you all could fall into fits and swoonings whenever you pleased
I was now silent I trembled
Damned fool ass blockhead womans fool—I ought to be d—nd for my credulous folly—I tell you Miss Byron—Then he looked at me as if he were crazy and walked too or three times about the room
To be dying one halfhour and the next to look to provoking—
I was still silent
I could curse myself for sending away the parson I thought I had known something of womens tricks—But yet your arts your hypocrisy shall not serve you madam What I failed in here shall be done elsewhere By the great God of Heaven it shall
I wept I could not then speak
Cant you go into fits again Cant you said the barbarian with an air of a piece with his words and using other words of the lowest reproach
God deliver me prayed I to myself from the hands of this madman
I arose and as the candle stood near the glass▪ I saw in it my vile figure in this abominable habit
to which till then I had paid little attention O how I scorned myself
Pray Sir Hargrave said I let me beg that you will not terrify me further I will forgive you for all you have hitherto done and place it to my own account as a proper punishment for consenting to be thus marked for a vain and foolish creature Your abuse Sir give me leave to say is low and unmanly But in the light of a punishment I will own it to be all deserved And let here my punishment end and I will thank you and forgive you with my whole heart
Your fate is determined Miss Byron
Just then came in a servantmaid with a capuchin who whispered something to him To which he answered Thats well—
He took the capuchin the maid withdrew and approached me with it I started trembled and was ready to saint I caught hold of the back of the elbow chair
Your fate is determined madam repeated the savage—Here put this on—Now sall into fits again—Put this on
Pray Sir Hargrave—
And pray Miss Byron What has not been completed here shall be completed in a safer place and that in my own way—Put this on I tell you Your compliance may yet befriend you
Where are the gentlewomen—Where are—
Gene to rest madam—John Frank called he out
In came two menservants
Pray Sir Hargrave—Lord protect me—Pray Sir Hargrave—Where are the gentlewomen—Lord protect me
Then running to the door against which one of the men stood—Man stand out of the way said I But he did not He only bowed
I cried out Mrs—I forget your name Miss—
And tother Miss—I forget your names—If you a e good creatures as I hoped you were—
I called as loud as my fears would let me
At last came in the elder sister—O madam good young gentlewoman I am glad you are come said I
And so am I said the wicked man—Pray Miss Sally put on this Ladys capuchin
Lord bless me for why for what I have no capuchin
I would not permit her to put it on as she would have done
The savage then wrapt his arms about mine and made me so very sensible by his force of the pain I had had by the squeeze of the door that I could not help crying out The young woman put on the capuchin whether I would or not
Now Miss Byron said he make yourself easy▪ or command a fit it is all one My end will be better served by the latter—Miss Sally give orders
She ran out with the candle Frank give me the cloak said Sir Hargrave
The fellow had a red cloak on his arm His barbarous master took it from him To your posts said he
The two men withdrew in haste Now my dearest life said he with an air of insult as I thought you command your fate if you are easy
He threw the cloak about me
I begged prayed would have kneeled to him But all was in vain The tygerhearted man as Mr Greville had truly called him muffled me up in it and by force carried me thro a long entry to the foredoor There was ready a chariotandsix and that Sally was at the door with a lighted candle
I called out to her I called out for her mother for the other sister I besought him to let me say but six words to the widow
But no widow was to appear no younger sister She was perhaps more tenderhearted than the elder And in spite of all my struggles prayers resistance he lifted me into the chariot
Men on horseback were about it I thought that Wilson was one of them and so it proved Sir Hargrave said to that fellow You know what tale to tell if you meet with impertinents And in he came himself
I screamd Scream on my dear upbraidingly said he and barbarously mocked me imitating low wretch the bleating of a sheep Could you not have killed him for this my Lucy Then rearing himself up Now am I Lord of Miss Byron exulted he
Still I screamed for help and he put his hand before my mouth tho vowing honour and such sort of stuff and with his unmanly roughness made me bite my lip And away lashed the coachman with your poor Harriet
AS the chariot drove by houses I cried out for help once or twice at setting out But under pretence of preventing my taking cold he tied an handkechief over my face head and mouth having first muffled me up in the cloak pressing against my arm with his whole weight so that I had not my hands at liberty And when he had done he seized them and held them both in his left hand while his rightarm thrown round me kept me fast on the seat And except that nowandthen my struggling head gave me a little opening I was blinded
But at one place on the road just after I had screamed and made another effort to get my hands free I heard voices and immediately the chariot stopt Then
how my heart was filled with hope But alas it was but momentary I heard one of his men say that Wilson I believe The best of husbands I assure you Sir and she is the worst of wives
I screamed again Ay scream and be d—nd I heard said in a strangers voice if that be the case Poor gentleman I pity him with all my heart And immediately the coachman drove on again
The vile wretch laughed Thats you my dear and hugged me round You are the d—nd wife And again he laughed By my soul I am a charming contriver Greville Fenwick Orme where are you now—By my soul this will be a pretty story to tell when all your fears are over my Byron
I was ready to faint several times I begged for air And when we were in an open road and I suppose there was nobody in sight he vouchsafed to pull down the blinding handkerchief but kept it over my mou•h so that except nowandthen that I struggled it aside with my head and my neck is still my dear very stiff with my efforts to free my face I could only make a murmuring kind of noise
The curtain of the foreglass was pulled down and generally the canvas on both sides drawn up But I was sure to be made acquainted when we came near houses by his care again to blind and stifle me up
A little before we were met by my deliverer I had by getting one hand free unmuffled myself so far as to see as I had guessed once or twice before by the stone pavements that we were going thro a town and then I again vehemently screamed But he had the cruelty to thrust an handkerchief into my mouth so that I was almost stran•led and my mouth was hurt and is still sore with that and his former violence of the like nature
Indeed he nowandthen made apologies for the cruelty to which he said▪ he was compelled by my invincible obstinacy to have recourse I was sorely
hurt he said to be the wife of a man of his consideration But I should be that or worse He was in for it he said more than once and must proceed I might see that all my resistance was in vain He had me in his net And d—n him if he were not revenged for all the trouble I had given him You keep no terms with me my Byron said he once and d—n me if I keep any with you
I doubted not his malice His Love had no tenderness in it But how could I think of being consenting as I may say to such barbarous usage and by a man so truly odious to me What a slave had I been in spirit could I have qualified on such villainous treatment as I had met with or had I been able to desert myself
At one place the chariot drove out of the road over rough ways and little hillocks as I thought by its rocking and then it stopping he let go my hands and endeavoured to footh me He begged I would be pacified and offered if I would forbear crying out for help to leave my eyes unmuffled all the rest of the way But I would not I told him give such a sanction to his barbarous violence
On the chariots stopping one of his men came up and put an handkerchief into his masters hands in which were some cakes and sweetmeats and gave him also a bottle of sack with a glass Sir Hargrave was very urgent with me to take some of the sweetmeats and to drink a glass of the wine But I had neither stomach nor will to touch either
He eat himself very cordia•ly God forgive me I wished in my heart there were pins and needles in every bit he put in his mouth
He drank two glasses of the wine Again he urged me I said I hoped I had cat and drank my last
You have no dependence upon my honour madam said the villain so cannot be disappointed mach do what I will Ungrateful proud vain obstinate he called me
What signifies says he shewing politeness to a woman who has shewn none to me tho she was civil to every other man Ha ha ha hah What my sweet Byron I dont hit your fancy You don▪t like my morals Laughing again My lovely fly said the insulting wretch hugging me round in the cloak▪ how prettily have I wrapped you about in my web—
Such a provoking low wretch—I struggled to free myself and unhooked the curtain of the foreglass But he wrapt me about the closer and said he would give me his garter for my girdle if I would not sit still and be orderly Ah my charming Byron said he your opportunity is over—All your struggles will not avail you—Will not avail you Thats a word of your own you know I will however forgive you if you promise to love me now But if you stay till I get you to the allotted place then madam take what follows
I saw that I was upon a large wild heathlike place between two roads as it seemed I asked nothing about my journeys end All I had to hope for as to an escape tho then I began to despair of it was upon the road or in some town My journeys end I knew must be the beginning of new dials for I was resolved to suffer death rather than to marry him What I now was most apprehensi•e about was of failing into fits and I answered to his barbarous insults as little as possible that I might not be provoked beyond the little strength I had left me
Three or four times he offered to kiss me and cursed my pride for resisting him making him clasp a cloud was his speech aiming at wit instead of his Juno calling the cloak a cloud
And now my dear Byron said he if you will not come to a compromise with me I must dress you again for the journey We will stop at a town a little further beckoning to one of his men and on his approaching whispering to him his whole body out of
the chariot and there you shall alight and a very worthy woman to whom I shall introduce you will persuade you perhaps to take refreshment though I cannot
You are a very barbarous man Sir Hargrave I have the misfortune to be in your power You may dearly repent the usage I have already received from you You have made my life of no estimation with me I will not contend
And tears ran down my cheeks Indeed I thought my heart was broke
He wrapt me up close and tied the handkerchief about my mouth and head I was quite passive
The chariot had not many minutes got into the great road again over the like rough and sometimes plashy ground when it stopt on a dispute be•ween the coachman and the coachman of another chariotandsix as it proved
Sir Hargrave had but just drawn my handkerchief closer to my eyes when this happened Hinder not my tears from flowing said I struggling to keep my eyes free the cloak enough muffling me and the handkerchief being over my mouth so that my voice could be but just heard by him as I imagine
He looked out of his chariot to see the occasion of this stop and then I found means to disengage one hand
I heard a gentlemans voice directing his own coachman to give way
I then pushed up the handkerchief with my disengaged hand from my mouth and pulled it down from over my eyes and cried out for help Help for Gods sake
A man▪s voice it was my deliverers as it happily proved bid Sir Hargraves coachman proceed at his peril
Sir Hargrave with terrible oaths and curses ordered him to proceed and to drive thro all opposition
The gentleman called Sir Hargrave by his name and charged him with being upon a bad design
The vile wretch said he had only secur•d a runaway wife eloped to and intended to elope from a masquerade to her adultere••••or•d He put aside the cloak and appealed 〈◊◊〉 dress
I cried out No no no five or six times repeated but could say no more at that 〈◊〉 holding up then both my disengaged hands for protection
The wicked man endeavoured to mussle me up again and to force the handkerchief which I had then got under my chin over my mouth and brutally cursed me
The gentleman would not be satisfied with Sir Hargraves story He would speak to me Sir Hargrave called him impertinent and other names and asked Who the devil he was with rage and contempt—The gentleman however asked me and with an air that promised deliverance if I were Sir Hargraves wife
No no no no—I could only say
For my own part I could have no scruple distressed as I was and made desperate to throw myself into the protection and even into the arms of my deliverer tho a very fine young gentleman It would have been very hard had I fallen from bad to bad had the sacred name of protector been abused by another Sir Hargrave who would have had the additional crime of betraying a confidence to answer for But however this had proved an escape from the present evil was all I had in my head at the time
But you may better conceive than I can express the terror I was in when Sir Hargrave drew his sword and pushed at the gentleman with such words as denoted for I could not look that way he had done him mischief But when I found my oppressor my lowmeaning and soon after lowlaid oppressor pulled out of the chariot by the brave the gallant man which
was done with such force as made the chariot rock and my protector safe I was near fainting with joy as before I had been with terror I had shaken off the cloak and united the handkerchief
He carried me in his arms I could not walk to his own chariot
I heard Sir Hargrave curse swear and threaten I was glad however he was not dead
Mind him not madam fear him not said Sir Charles Grandison You know his noble name my Lucy▪ coachman drive not over your master Take care of your master or some such words he said as he lifted me into his own chariot He came not in but shut the chariotdoor as soon as he had seated me
He just surveyed as it were the spot and bid a servant let Sir Hargrave know who he was and then came back to me
Partly thro terror partly thro weakness I had sunk to the bottom of the chariot He opened the door entered and with all the tenderness of a brother soothed me and lifted me on the seat once more He ordered his coachman to drive back to Colnebrooke In accents of kindness he told me that he had there at present the most virtuous and prudent of sisters to whose care he would commit me and then proceed on his journey to town
How irresistably welcome to me was his supporting arm thrown round me as we flew back compared to that of the vile Sir Hargrave
Mr Reeves has given you an account from the angelic sister—O my Lucy they are a pair of angels
I have written a long long Letter or rather five Letters in one of my distresses of my deliverance And when my heart is stronger I will say more of the persons as well as minds of this excellent brother and his sister
But what shall I do with my gratitude O my dear
I am overwhelmed with my gratitude I can only express it in silence before them Every look if it be honest to my heart however tells it Reverence mingles with my gratitude—Yet there is so much ease so much sweetness in the behaviour of both—O my Lucy Did I not find that my veneration of both is equal did I not on examination find that the amiable sister is as dear to me from her experienced tenderness as her brother from his remembered bravery which must needs mingle awe with my esteem in short that I love the sister and revere the brother I should be afraid of my gratitude
I have overwritten myself I am tired O my grandmamma you have never yet while I have been in London sent me your overvalued blessing under your own hand Yet I am sure I had it and your blessings my dear uncle and aunt Selby and your prayers my Lucy my Nancy and all my Loves else my deliverance had not perhaps followed my presumptuous folly in going dressed out like the fantastic wretch I appeared to be at a vile a foolish masquerade—How often throughout the several stages of my distress and even in my deliverance did I turn my eye to myself and from myself with the disgust that made a part and that not a light one of my punishment
And so much my Lucy for masquerades and masqueradedresses for ever
Pray let not anybody unnecessarily be acquainted with this shocking affair particularly neither Mr Greville nor Mr Fenwick It is very probable that they especially Mr Greville would be for challenging Sir Hargrave were it only on a supposition that it would give him an interest in me in the eye of the world You know that Mr Greville watches for all opportunities to give himself consequence with me
Were any farther mischief to happen to anybody I should be grieved beyond measure Hitherto I have
reason to think that a transaction so shocking is not very unhappily concluded May the vile man sit himself down satisfied and I shall be willing to do so too provided I never more behold his face
MR Reeves will send you with the above paccuet a Letter from Sir Charles Grandison inclosing one from that vile Wilson I can write no more just now and they will sufficiently explain themselves
Adieu my dearest Lucy I need not say how much I am and will ever be
Your faithful and affectionate HARRIET BYRON
CanterburyFeb 22
Dear Sir
THE inclosed long Letter is just now brought to me I pretend not to judge of the writers penitence Yet his confessions seem ingenuous and he was not under any obligation to put them on paper
As I presume that you will not think it adviseable to make the ineffectual attempt upon Miss Byron public by a prosecution perhaps your condescending to let the mans sister know that her brother if in earnest may securely pursue the honest purposes he mentions may save the poor wretch from taking such courses as might be fatal not only to himself but to innocent persons who otherwise may suffer by his being made desperate
The man as you will see by his Letter if you had not a still stronger proof has abilities to do mischief He has been in bad hands as he tells us from his youth upwards or he might have been an useful member of society He is a young man and if yet he could be made so his reformation will take from the
number of the profligate and add to that of the hopeful and who knows how wide the circle of his acquaintance is and how many of them may be influenced by his example either way If he marry the notdishonest young woman to whom he seems to be contracted may not your lenity be a means of securing a whole future family on the side of moral honesty
His crime as the attempt was frustrated is not capital And not to metion the service of such an evidence as this should Sir Hargrave seek for a legal redress as he sometimes weakly threatens my hope makes me see a further good that may be brought about by this mans reformation Wicked masters cannot execute their base views upon the persons of the innocent without the assistance of wicked servants What a nest of vipers may be crushed at once or at least rendered unhurtful by depriving the three monsters he names of the aid of such an agent Men who want to save appearances and have estates to forfeit will sometimes be honost of necessity rather than put themselves into the power of untried villains
You will be so good as to make my compliments to your Lady and to our lovely ward You see Sir that I join myself with you in the honour of that agreeable relation
I hope the dear Lady has perfectly recovered her health and spirits I am good Mr Reeves
Your most faithful and obedient Servant CHARLES GRANDISON
Saturday Feb 18
IN what an odious light must that wretch appear before the worthiest of men who cannot but abhor himself
I am the unhappy man who was hired into the service of the best of young Ladies Whom I was the means of betraying into the power of Sir Hargrave Pollexfen from the Ball in the Haymarket on Thursday night last
Your honour has made yourself an interest in Miss Byrons fate as I may say by your powerful protection Pardon me if I give you some account of myself and of transactions which perhaps will otherwise never be known And this in justice to all round
My parentage was honest My education was above my parentage I set out with good principles But I fell into a bad service I was young and of a good natural disposition but had not virtue enough to resist a temptation I could not say No to an unlawful thing when my principles commanded my assent
I was at first setting out by favour of friends taken as clerk to a merchant In profess of time I transacted his business at the Customhouse He taught me to make light of oaths of office and this by degrees made me think light of all moral obligations and laid the foundation of my ruin
My masters name was Bagenhall He died and I was to seek His brother succeeded to his fortune which was very large He was brought up to no business He was a gentleman His seat is near Reading I was recommended by him to the service of a gentleman who was nominated to go abroad on a foreign embassy I will name his name lest your honour should imagine I have any design to evade the strictest truth Sir Christopher Lucas I was to be this gentlemans master of the horse abroad
The first service my new master employed me in was to try to get for him the pretty daughter of an honest farmer
I had been out of place for a twelvemonth Had I had twenty shillings aforehand in the world I would I think have said No Nevertheless I consulted in
confidence my late masters brother upon it The advice he gave me was not to boggle at it But if he said I could manage the matter so as to cheat Sir Christopher and get the girl for him and keep the secret he would give me 50 l I abhorred the double treachery of young Mr Bagenhall But undertook to serve Sir Christopher and carried on a treaty with the farmer for his daughter as if she were to be the wife of Sir Christopher but not to be owned till he returned from abroad no not even if she should prove with child
I found in the course of my visits at the farmers so much honesty both in father and mother and so much innocence in the daughter that my heart relented and I took an opportunity to reveal Sir Christophers base design to them for the girl was designed to be ruined the very first moment that Sir Christopher could be alone with her Your honour may belive that I injoined all three strict secrecy
Nevertheless this contriving devil of a master found a way to get the young woman by other means and in amorous dalliance she told him to whom he was obliged for not succeeding before
In rage he turned me out of his service in the most disgraceful manner but without giving any other reasons than that he knew me to be a villain and that I knew myself to be one Nor would he give me a character So I was quite reduced and but for the kindness of a sister who keeps an inn in Smithfield I should have starved or been obliged to do worse
I should have told your honour that the poor farmer and his wife both died of grief in half a year An honest young man who dearly loved the young woman was found drowned soon after It is feared he was his own executioner Sir Christopher went not on his embassy His preparations for it and his expensive way of life before and after reduced him And he has been long a beggar as I may say The poor
young woman is now if living on the town I saw her about half a year ago in St Martins Roundhouse taken up as a common prostitute and charged with picking a pocket She was a pretty creature and had a very pious turn when I knew her first Her father had gone beyond himself in her education And this was the fruit What has such a man as Sir Christopher to answer for—But it is come home to him I rejoice that this wickedness was not added to my score
But heavy scenes I had enough afterwards Being utterly destitute except what my sister did for me and not enduring to be a burden to her I threw myself on my master Bagenhall He employed me in mean offices till his pander died he is a very profligate man Sir and then he promoted me to a still meaner
In this way I grew a shameless contriver He introduced me to Sir Hargrave Pollexfen and to Mr Merceda a Portuguse Jew In the service of these three masters good heaven forgive me what villainies was I not the means of perpetrating Yet I never was so hardened but I had temporary remorses But these three gentlemen would never let me rest from wickedness Yet they kept me poor and necessitous as the only means to keep me what they called honest for they had often reason to think that had I had any other means of subsistence I would have been really honest
I was now Mr Bagenhalls constant servant Sir Hargrave and Mr Merceda used to borrow me But I must say Sir Hargrave is an innocent man to the other two They caressed me I speak it to my shame as a man fit for their turn I had contrivance temper I knew something of everybody But my sister knows my frequent compunctions and that I hated the vile course I was in She used to lecture me enough She is a good woman
Will your honour have patience with me a little longer
Sir Hargrave on the seventh of this month came to my master Bagenhall at Reading with whom he had double business One was to take a bond and judgment of him Sir Hargrave is no better than an usurer Mr Bagenhall has lived a most extravagant life The other was to borrow me Mr Merceda had a scheme on foot at the same time which he was earnest to engage me in but it was too shocking and Mr Bagenhall came into Sir Hargraves
Sir Hargrave told them he designed nothing more than a violation if he could get my assistance of the most beautiful woman in the world And Sir to see the villainy of the other two they both unknown to each other made proposals to me to trick Sir Hargrave and to get the Lady each for himself
But to me Sir Hargave swore that he was fully r•solved to leave this wicked course of life Bagenhall and Merceda he said were devils and he would marry and have no more to say to them All that was in his view was honest marriage He said he had never been in the Ladys company but once and that was the day before at Lady Betty Williamss He said he went thither knowing she was to be there for having for some time had it in his head to marry this was the Lady he had pitchd upon in his mind from the character he had of her from every mouth at the Northampton races
Now said he I shall have some difficulty to obtain her notwithstanding my fortune is so great for every one who sees her is in love with her And he named several gentlemen who laid close siege to her
She brought a servant up with her said he who hones after the country and is actually gone or soon will Her cousin enquires of every one after a proper servant for her You Wilson said he are handsome and genteel He was pleased to say so You have a modest humble look You know all the duties of a servant Get yourself entertaind and your fortune is
made for life if by your means I obtain the Lady I have already tenderd myself said he Perhaps she will have me in a few days I dont expect to be denied if she be disengaged as it is said she is If you can get into her service you will find out every thing This is all that is to be done But you must never mention my name nor ever know any-thing of me as I go and come
Sir Hargrave declared that his heart was burnt up with the Love of the Lady And if he succeeded as he had little doubt even without my help had I been actually in Mercedas service you will said he as my Ladys servant be mine of course you shall never wear a livery and you shall be my gentleman till I can get a place for you in the Customs This may it please your honour he knew I had long aimed at and it had been often promised by himself and my other two masters and was their first promise when they wanted to engage me in any of their schemes tho they never thought more of it when the service was over If I got but myself engaged I was on the day I entered into my Ladys service to have as an earnest ten guineas
Encouraged by such promises and the project being an honester one than ever Sir Hargrave or either of the other two had sought to engage me in I offered my service to my Lady and on Mr Bagenhalls writing a good character of me was accepted
I could have been happy in the service of this Lady all the days of my life She is all goodness All the servants everybody gentle and simple adored her But she unexpectedly refusing to have Sir Hargrave and he being afraid that one of her three or four Lovers would cut him out he resolved to take more violent measures than he had at first intended
If any man was ever mad in Love it was Sir Hargrave But then he was as mad with anger to be refused Sir Hargrave was ever thought to be one of the proudest
men in England And he complained that my lady used him worse than she did anybody else But it was not her way to use anybody ill I saw that
Nevertheless he was resolved to strike a bold stroke for a wife as were his words from the title of a play And between us we settled the matter in one night For I had found means to get out unknown to the family
It will be trespassing too much upon your honours patience to be very particular in our contrivances I will be as brief as possible
My Lady was to go to a Masquerade I got into the knowledge of every thing how and about it The maids were as full of the matter as their master and mistresses
It was agreed to make the chairmen fuddled Two of Mr Mercedas footmen were to undertake the task Brandy was put into their liquor to hasten them
They were soon overcome The weather was cold They drank briskly and were laid up safe I then hired two chance chairmen and gave them orders as had been contrived
I had twenty guineas given me in hand for my encouragement in which were included the promised ten
I had when I was my first master Bagenhalls clerk made acquaintance with several clerks of the Custumhouse particularly with one Awberry a sober modest man who has two sisters to one of whom I am contracted and always for two years past intended to make my wife as soon as I should be in any way to maintain her The mother is a widow All of them are very honest people
Mr Awberry the brother being assured by me and I was well assured of it myself and had no doubt about it that marriage was intended and knowing Sir Hargraves great estate and having indeed seen Sir Hargrave on the occasion and received his protestations
of honour engaged his mother and sister in it and the result as to them and me was that I was to receive as soon as the knot was tied an hundred guineas besides the twenty and moreover an absolute promise of a place and twenty pounds a year till I got it and then my marriage with young Mrs Awberry was to follow
The widow has an annuity of thirty pounds which with their sons salary keeps them above want
She lives at Paddington There is a backdoor and garden as it happens convenient to bring anybody in or carry anybody out secretly and hither it was resolved if possible that the lady should be brought and a Fleet parson and his clerk ready stationd to perform the ceremony and then all that the bridegroom wishd was to follow of course
Sir Hargrave doubted not tho he was fruitful in contrivances and put many others in practice but he should be detected if he carried the Lady to his own house And as he was afraid that the chairmen notwithstanding several other artful contrivances would be able to find out the place they carried her to he had ordered his chariotandsix to be at the widow Awberrys by six in the morning with three servants on horseback armed and a horse and pistols besides After marriage and consummation he was resolved to go to his house on the forest but not to stay there but to go to Mr Mercedas house near Newberry where he doubted not but he should be secret till he thought fit to produce the lady as Lady Pollexfen And often very often did he triumph on the victory he should obtain over her other Lovers and over her own proud heart as he would have it to be
The parson Sir came The clerk was there But what with fits prayers tears and one thing or other at one time the Lady being thought irrecoverable having received some unintended hurt in her struggling to get out of a door as I heard it was Sir
Hargrave in terror dismissed the parson and resolved to carry the lady who by that time was recovered in the chariot to his seat at Windsor and then staying there only to marry go to Newberry And from thence break out by degrees as the matter should be taken
My lady screamed resisted and did all that woman could do to get free And more than once people who heard her cry out for help were put on a wrong scent And had we not met with your honour who would see with your own eyes and hear with your own ears the affair had been all over in the way Sir Hargrave wished and was at so much pains and expence to effect For Sir the chariot generally drove so fast that before passengers could have resolved whether to interfere or not we should have been out of sight or reach
Sir Hargrave is in the greatest rage with us all because we stood not better by him He refuses any favour to me and threatens to pistol me the moment he sees me Thats to be my reward
We were four at setting out from Paddington but one of the servants was dispatchd to prepossess an old servant of Sir Hargraves mother at Colnebrooke who keeps there a kind of haberdashery shop and where he proposed to get some refreshment for the lady if he could make her take any For my part I wonder how she kept out of fits on the road She had enow of them at Paddington
The two servants who staid about Sir Hargrave are discharged with all the marks of indignation that a master incensed by such a disappointment could express and as I said before he is resolved to pistol me the moment he sees me Yet I too well served him for the peace of my conscience
A coachandfour was ordered to carry the widow and her two daughters to Reading to the NewInn there where they were to reside for a week or so till
all was blown over and that they might be out of the way of answering questions And my brother Awberry as I call him and hope to make him for he is a very honest man was to go to them there
And there in all probability had Sir Hargrave succeeded and been as good as his word should I have been the husband of as tenderhearted a young woman as any in the parish she lives in
Here is a very long letter may it please you Sir I have shortened it however as much as I could But in hatred to myself and the vile ways I have by excess of goodnature and by meeting with wicked masters been drawn into—For the clearing of my sisters character who lives in credit among her neighbours and of every other person who might otherwise have been suspected—In justice to Mrs Awberrys and her two daughters and her sons characters—And in justice so far to Sir Hargraves as that he intended marriage and had he not he would have found no friends in his designs at Paddington and so far as to clear him of having not offered the least incivility to my lady—Had he intended or been provoked so to do he was too well watchd by the widow and her daughters to have been permitted and that by my own request which was that they should be ready to run in whenever they heard her cry out and that they would not leave Sir Hargrave alone with my Lady for six minutes till their hands were joined in wedlock—In justice I say to all these persons I thought proper thus to give you Sir all that I knew relating to this wicked transaction And if may it please your honour I were to be taken up I could say no more before a magistrate except this which I had like to have forgot which is that had it not been for me some mischief might have been done between Sir Hargraves servants and yours if not to your honours person
All that I most humbly beg is the pardon of so
sweet a lady I have chosen evertobehonoured Sir to write to you whose goodness is so generally talkd of and who have so nobly redeemed and protected her Mr Reeves I know has suffered too much in his mind to forgive me He is a worthy gentleman I am sorry for the disturbance I have given him I have hopes given me that I shall get employment on the Keys or as a tidewaiter extraordinary
Please the Lord I will never never more be the tool of wicked masters All I wish for is to be able to do justice to the love of an honest young woman and I am resolved whether so enabled or not to starve rather than to go any more no not for a single hour into the service of the iniquitous gentlemen I have so often named in this long Letter
If I might be assured that I may pursue unmolested any honest calling so as that I may not be tempted or driven into unhappy courses my heart would be at rest
There might have been murder in this affair That shocks me to think of O Sir good excellent brave and the most worthy of gentlemen you have given to me as great a deliverance as you have to the lady Yea greater for mine may be a deliverance if I make a proper use of it of soul as well as body Which God grant as also your honours health and prosperity to the prayers of
Your Honours everdevoted Humble Servant WILLIAM WILSON
I thought I had something else to say Something it is of high importance Your life is threatened Sir God preserve your precious life Amen
Friday Feb 24
MY cousin Reeves has given assurance to the sister of that Wilson that he may unmolested by any of us pursue the best means he can fall upon for the obtaining of an honest livelihood
In everything it is determined to follow the advice of my deliverer
What a letter is that fellows What men are there in the world
Of such we have read But I hoped that I might have escaped suffering by any such
We are extremely disturbed at the fellows postscript and the more as we are told by several people that Sir Hargrave will not sit down quietly but threatens vengeance upon Sir Charles I wish I had not come to London
I hope my grandmammas spirits are not affected by what she knows of the matter It was very good of my aunt Selby to take the measures she did in softening every circumstance and not to let her know anything till the danger was over But indeed it was but the natural effect of that prudence which regulates all the actions of my honourd aunt
My grandmamma has such strength of mind that now she knows I am safe and not unhappy I dare say she will by degrees bear to hear my narrations read She will be more uneasy if she thinks any-thing is kept from her
Yet I know that her tenderness and her love for her Harriet will cost her some anguish some sighs some tears as she reads or hears read the cruelty her girl has been treated with Who so tenderly brought up so greatly indulgd never before knew what harshness
was and had only read of the words cruelty barbarity and suchlike words But then she will have more joy I hope in my deliverance than she will have pain in my sufferings And pray let her know that I am every day less and less sensible of the pain in my stomach of which I was so apprehensive as really at the time to think it a mortal blow My grandmamma has told us girls you know my Lucy twenty and twenty frightful stories of the vile enterprizes of men against innocent creatures and will therefore call to mind stories which have concluded much worse than blessed be God mine has done
JUST now I have received a congratulatory pacquet of Letters
One from my aunt Selby such a sweetly kind such a truly maternal Letter
One from my dearest grandmamma I will put it next my heart whenever I feel there any of that pain of which she is so kindly apprehensive
One from Nancy—Dear girl—She is very very generous to forget her own malady to condole and congratulate me Your brother James my Lucy has written me a very kind Letter He is a good young man God keep him so What a mischievous creature is a bad man
I have a charming Letter by the post from my godfather Deane He has heard nothing of what has happened and I am sure is too sollicitous for my welfare to take it well if I do not let him know something about it I will therefore soon write to him
But your Letter my Lucy—What I warrant you thought I had forgot your Letter in the enumeration of the contents of the precious pacquet If I had your goodness your love might have made you forgive me But I never would have forgiven myself
But you and I my dear write for all to see what we write And so I reserved yours to be lastmentiond
Only I slid in my godfather Deanes between not because I love him better than I do my Lucy—No that is impossible—But because I had a mind to shew you that I was hastening to be quite well and so assumed my little saucy tricks and surprizes as if it were possible for me to be heedless where my love to my Lucy was in the question
And so you expect the particular character and description of the persons of this more than amiable brother and sister Need you to have told me that you do And could you think that after having wasted so many quires of paper in giving you the characters of people many of whom deserved not to be drawn out from the common croud of mortals I would forbear to give you those of persons who adorn the age in which they live and even human nature
You dont question you say if I begin in their praises but my gratitude will make me write in a sublime stile so you phraise it and are ready you promise me to take with allowance all the fine things from me which Mr Reeves has already taught you to expect
You may be right in your expectations as far as I know for my grandfather so many years ago used to say that his little Byron was an enthusiast in her gratitude But however when I say any-thing of the exalted minds of the expanded hearts of the amiaable manners of this happy brother and sister which seems to exceed in my praises the bounds you will all be willing to set me then let the over flowings be carried to account of the grateful enthusiasm and only to that
Which shall I begin with You will have a sharp lookout upon me you say Ah my Lucy I know what you mean But I am safe from everything but my gratitude I will assure you
And so if I begin with the character of the Brother then will you join with my uncle shake your
head and cry Ah my Harriet If I begin with the sister will you not say that I save my choicest subject for the last How difficult is it to avoid censure when there is a resolution taken to be censorious
Well but keep a lookout if you please my Lucy Not the least shadow of reserve shall it give to my heart My pen shall be honest to that heart and I shall be benefited I am sure by the faithful wounds of such affectionate and equallybeloved as revered friends—And so Pen take thy course
Miss Grandison—Yes my volant my selfconducted quill begin with the sister say my Lucy what she pleases—
Miss Grandison is about twentyfour Of a fine stature She has dignity in her aspect and a very penetrating black eye with which she does what she pleases Her hair is black very fine and naturally curls She is not fair but her complexion is delicate and clear and promises a long duration to her loveliness Her features are generally regular Her nose is a little aquiline but that is so far from being a blemish that it gives a kind of majesty to her other features Her teeth are white and even Her mouth is perfectly lovely and a modest archness appears in her smiles that makes one both love and fear her when she begins to speak She is finely shaped and in her air and whole appearance perfectly genteel
She herself says That before her brother came to England she was thought to be proud pert and lofty But I hardly believe her for the man lives not it is my belief who in fourteen months time and Sir Charles has not been longer arrived could so totally eradicate those qualities in a mind of which they had taken▪possession as that they should not occasionally shew themselves
She has charming spirits I dare say she sings well from the air she nowandthen warbles in the gaiety of her heart as she goes up and down stairs She is
very polite yet has a vein of raillery that were she not polite would give one too much apprehension for ones ease But I am sure she is frank easy and goodhumoured And by turning over all the just and handsome things which are attributed to herself to her brothers credit she must be equally humble and generous
She says she has but lately taken a very great likeing to reading But I am ready to question what she says when she speaks any-thing that some would construe to her disadvantage She pretends that she was too volatile too gay too airy to be confined to sedentary amusements Her father however according to the genteelest and most laudable modern education for women had given her a master who taught her History and Geography in both which she acknowledges she made some progress In Music she owns she has skill But I am told by her maid who attended me by her young Ladys direction and who delights to praise her mistress that she reads and speaks French and Italian that she writes finely and is greatly admired for her wit prudence and obligingness Nobody said Jenny who is a sensible young woman a clergymans daughter well educated and very obligeing can stand against her goodnatured raillery Her brother she says is not spared But he takes delight in her vivacity and gives way to it when it is easy to see that he could take her down if he pleased And then added this good young woman she is an excellent manager in a family finely as she is educated I rejoiced to hear that for the honour of our reading Ladies as in Miss Clementss case She knows everything and how to direct what should be done from the private familydinner to a sumptuous entertainment And every day inspects and approves or alters the bill of fare By the way my Lucy she is an early riser—Do you mind that And so can do everything with ease pleasure and without hurry
and confusion For all her servants are early risers of course What servants can for shame be in bed at a reasonable hour to be up when they have a master or mistresss example for early rising
Yet this fine Lady loves to go to the public places and often goes and makes a brilliant figure there She has time for them and earns her pleasures by her early rising
Miss Grandison Jenny tells me has two humble servants I wonder she has not twoandtwenty One is Sir Walter Watkyns a man of a large estate in Somersetshire the other is Lord G son of the Earl of G but neither of them highly approved by her Yet Jenny says they are both of them handsome men and admired by the Ladies This makes me afraid that they are modern men and pay their court by the exterior appearance rather than by interior worth Who my Lucy that has heard what my late grandfather has said and my grandmamma still says of the men in their youthful days will not say that we have our lots cast in an age of Petits Maitres and Insignificants
Such an amiable woman is Miss Charlotte Grandison—May I be found on further acquaintance but half as lovely in her eyes as she is in mine—Dont be jealous Lucy I hope I have a large heart I hope there is room in it for half a dozen sweet female friends—Yes altho another Love were to intervene I could not bear that even the affection due to the man of my choice were I to marry should like Aarons rod swallow up all the rest
But now for her brother—My deliverer
But pray now Lucy dont you come with your sharp lookout I warrant you will expect on this occasion to read the tumults of the poor girls heart in her character and description of a man to whom she is so much obliged—But what if she disappoints you and yet do justice to his manifold excellencies
What if she find some faults in him that his sister has not
Parading Harriet methinks you say Teazing girl Go on go on leave it to us to find you out And take care that the very faults you pretend to discover do not pass for a colour only and lead to your detection
Thank you Lucy for your caution But I will not be obliged to it My pen shall follow the dictates of my heart and if it be as honest to me as I think it is to everybody else I hope I have nothing to fear either from your lookout or which is still a sharper my uncle Selbys
Sir Charles Grandison in his person is really a very fine man He is tall rather slender than full His face in shape is a fine oval He seems to have florid health health confirmed by exercise
His complexion seems to have been naturally too fine for a man But as if he were above being regardful of it his face is overspread with a manly sunniness I want a word that shews he has been in warmer climates than England And so it seems he has since the Tour of Europe has not contented him He has visited some parts of Asia and even of Afric Egypt particularly
I wonder what business a man has for such fine teeth and so fine a mouth as Sir Charles Grandison might boast of were he vain
In his aspect there is something great and noble that shews him to be of rank Were kings to be chosen for beauty and majesty of person Sir Charles Grandison would have few competitors His eye—Indeed my Lucy his eye shews if possible more of sparkling intelligence than that of his sister—
Now pray be quiet my dear uncle Selby What is beauty in a man to me You all know that I never thought beauty a qualification in a man
And yet this grandeur in his person and air is accompanied
companied with so much ease and freedom of manners as engages ones love with ones reverence His good breeding renders him very accessible His sister says he is always the first to break thro the restraints and to banish the diffidences that will generally attend persons on a quite new acquaintance He may for he is sure of being acceptable in whatever he does or says
Very true Lucy Shake your head if you please
In a word he has such an easy yet manly politeness as well in his dress as in his address no singularity appearing in either that were he not a fine figure of a man but were even plain and hardfeatured he would be thought what is far more eligible in a man than mere beauty very agreeable
Sir Charles Grandison my dear has travelled we may say to some purpose
Well might his sister tell Mr Reeves that whenever he married he would break half a score hearts
Upon my word Lucy he has too many personal advantages for a woman who loved him with peculiarity to be easy with whatever may be his virtue from the foible our sex in general love to indulge for handsome men For O my dear womens eyes are sad giddy things and will run away with their sense with their understandings beyond the power of being overtaken either by stop theif or hueandcry
I know that here you will bid me take care not to increase the number of the giddy And so I will my Lucy
The good sense of this real fine gentleman is not as I can find rusted over by sourness by moroseness He is above quarreling with the world for trifles But he is still more above making such compliances with it as would impeach either his honour or conscience Once Miss Grandison speaking of her brother said My brother is valued by those who know him best not so much for being an handsome man not so
much for his birth and fortune nor for this or that single worthiness as for being in the great and yet comprehensive sense of the word a good man And at another time she said that he lived to himself and to his own heart and that tho he had the happiness to please everybody yet he made the judgement or approbation of the world matter but of second consideration In a word added she Sir Charles Grandison my Brother and when she looks proud it is when she says my Brother is not to be misled either by false glory or false shame which he calls The great snares of virtue
What a man is this so to act—What a woman is this so to distinguish her brothers excellencies
What a poor creature am I compared to either of them And yet I have had my admirers So perhaps may still more faulty creatures among their inferiors If my Lucy we have so much good sense as to make fair comparisons what have we to do but to look forward rather than backward in order to obtain the grace of humility
But let me tell you my dear that Sir Charles does not look to be so great a self-denier as his sister seems to think him when she says he lives to himself and to his own heart rather than to the opinion of the world
He dresses to the fashion rather richly tis true than gaudily but still richly So that he gives his fine person its full consideration He has a great deal of vivacity in his whole aspect as well as in his eye Mrs Jenny says that he is a great admirer of handsome women His equipage is perfectly in taste tho not so much to the glare of taste as if he aimed either to inspire or shew emulation He seldom travels without a set and suitable attendants and what I think seems a little to favour of singularity his horses are not docked Their tails are only tied up when they are on the road This I took notice of when we came
to town I want methinks my dear to find some fault in his outward appearance were it but to make you think me impartial my gratitude to him and my veneration for him notwithstanding
But if he be of opinion that the tails of these noble animals are not only a natural ornament but are of real use to defend them from the vexatious insects that in summer are so apt to annoy them as Jenny just now told me was thought to be his reason for not depriving his cattle of a defence which nature gave them how far from a dispraise is this humane consideration And how in the more minute as well as we may suppose in the greater instances does he deserve the character of the man of mercy who will be merciful to his beast
I have met with persons who call those men good that yet allow themselves in liberties which no good man can take But I dare say that Miss Grandison means by good when she calls her brother with so much pride a good man what I and what you my Lucy would understand by the word
With so much spirit life and gallantry in the first appearance of Sir Charles Grandison you may suppose that had I not been so dreadfully terrified and illused and so justly apprehensive of worse treatment and had I been offered another protection I should hardly have acted the frighted bird flying from the hawk to which as Mr Reeves tells me Sir Charles tho politely and kindly enough yet too sensibly for my recollection compared me
Do you wonder Lucy that I cannot hold up my head when I recollect the figure I must make in that odious Masqueradehabit hanging by my clasping arms about the neck of such a young gentleman Can I be more effectually humbled than by such a recollection And yet is not this an instance of that false shame in me to which Sir Charles Grandison is so greatly superior
Surely surely I have had my punishment for my compliances with this foolish world False glory and false shame the poor Harriet has never been totally above Why was I so much indulged Why was I allowed to stop so many miles short of my journey▪s end and then complimented as if I had no farther to go—but surely I was past all shame when I gave my consent to make such an appearance as I made among a thousand strangers at a Masquerade
But now I think something offers of blame in the character of this almost faultless man as his sister and her Jenny represent him to be
I cannot think from a hint given by Miss Grandison that he is quite so frank and so unreserved as his sister is Nay it was more than a hint I will repeat her very words She had been mentioning her own openness of heart and yet confessing that she would have kept one or two things from him that affected him not
But as for my brother said she he winds one about and about yet seems not to have more curiosity than one would wish him to have Led on by his smiling benignity and fond of his attention to my prattle I have caught myself in the midst of a tale of which I intended not to tell him one syllable
O Sir Charles where am I got have I said and suddenly stopt
Proceed my Charlotte No reserves to your nearest friend
Yet he has his and I have winded and winded about him as he had done about me but all to no purpose
Nevertheless he has found means insensibly to set me on again with my own story till I had told him all I knew of the matter and all the time I was intending only that my frankness should be an example to him when he instead of answering my wishes doublelocked the door of his heart and left
not so much as the keyhole uncovered by which I might have peeped into it and this in one or two points that I thought it imported me to know And then have I been ready to scold
Now this reserve to such a sister and in points that she thinks it imports her to know is what I do not like in Sir Charles A friend as well as sister ought there to be a secret on on• side when there is none on the other Very likely he would be as reserved to a wife And is not marriage the highest state of friendship that mortals can know And can friendship and reserve be compatible Surely No
His sister who cannot think he has one fault excuses him and says that her brother has no other view in drawing her on to reveal her own heart but the better to know how to serve and oblige her
But then might not the same thing be said in behalf of the curiosity of so generous a sister Or is Sir Charles so conscious of his own superiority as to think he can give advice to her but wants not hers to him Or thinks he meanly of our Sex and highly of his own Yet there are but two years difference in their age And from sixteen to twentyfour I believe women are generally more than two years aforehand with the men in ripeness of understanding tho after that time the men may ripen into a superiority
This observation is not my own for I heard a very wise man once say That the intellects of women usually ripen sooner than those of men but that those of men when ripened like trees of slow growth generally hold longer are capable of higher perfection and serve to nobler purposes
Sir Charles has seen more of the world it may be said than his sister has He has travelled But is not human nature the same in every country allowing only for different customs—Do not Love hatred anger malice all the passions in short good or bad shew themselves by like effects in the faces hearts
and actions of the people of every country And let men make ever such strong pretensions to knowledge from their farfetchd and dearbought experience cannot a penetrating spirit learn as much from the passions of a Sir Hargrave Pollexfen in England as it could from a man of the same or the like ill qualities in Spain in France or in Italy And why is the Grecian Homer to this day so much admired as he is in all these nations and in every other nation where he has been read and will be to the worlds end but because he writes to nature And is not the language of nature one language throughout the world tho there are different modes of speech to express it by
But I shall go out of my depth All I mean and from the frankness of my own heart you will expect from me such a declaration is that I do not love that a man so nearly perfect be his motives what they will should have reserves to such a sister Dont you think Lucy that this seems to be a kind of fault in Sir Charles Grandison Dont you think that it would mingle some fear in a sisters Love of him And should ones Love of so amiable a brother be dashed or allayed with fear He is said to be a good man And a good man I dare say he is What secrets can a good man have that such a sister living with him in the same house and disdaining not but on the contrary priding herself in the title of her brothers housekeeper should not be made acquainted with Will a man so generous look upon her as he would upon a mere housekeeper—Does not confidence engage confidence—And are they not by nature as well as inclination friends
But I fancy I am acting the world in its malevolence as well as impertinence That world which thinks itself affronted by great and superior merit and takes delight to bring down exalted worth to its own level But at least you will collect from what I have written an instance of my impartiality and
see that tho bound to Sir Charles by a tie of gratitude which never can be dissolved I cannot excuse him if he be guilty of a diffidence and reserve to his generous sister which she is above shewing to him
If I am allowed to be so happy as to cultivate this desirable acquaintance And I hope it is not their way to leave those whom they have relieved and raised in order to shine upon and bless only new objects of compassion then will I closely watch every step of this excellent man in hope however to find him as perfect as report declares him that I may fearlesly make him my theme as I shall delight to make his sister my example And if I were to find any considerable faults in him never fear my dear but my gratitude will enlarge my charity in his favour But I shall at the same time arm my heart with those remembred failings lest my gratitude should endanger it and make me a hopeless fool
Now my uncle do not be very hard on your niece I am sure very sure that I am not in danger as yet And indeed I will tell you by my Lucy whenever I find out that I am Spare therefore my dear uncle Selby all your conjectural constructions
And indeed you should in pity spare me my dear Sir at present for my spirits are still weak I have not yet forgiven myself for the masquerade affair especially since Mr Reeves has hinted to me that Sir Charles Grandison as he judges from what he dropt about that foolish amusement approves not of masquerades And yet selfpartiality has suggested several strong pleas in my favour indeed by way of extenuation only How my judge CONSCIENCE will determine upon those pleas when counsel has been heard on both sides I cannot say Yet I think that an acquittal from this brother and sister would go a great way to make my conscience easy
I have not said one half of what I intended to say of this extraordinary man But having imagined from
the equal Love I have to his admirable sister that I had found something to blame him for my impartiality has carried me out of my path and I know not how to recover it without going a great way back Let therefore what I have further to say mingle in with my future narratives as new occasions call it forth
But yet I will not suffer any other subject to interfere with that which fills my heart with the praises the due praises of this worthy brother and sister to which I intended to consecrate this rambling and very imperfect Letter And which here I will conclude with assurances however needless I hope they are of duty Love and gratitude where so much due from
Your HARRIET BYRON
Feb 24 25
NOW have I near a week to go back my Lucy with my current narrative having been thrown behindhand by the long Letters I have been obliged to write to give you an account of my distress of my deliverance of the characters of this noble brother and sister and a multitude of coincidences and reflexions which all my dear friends expect as they fall in from the pen of their Harriet And this Letter shall therefore be a kind of diary of that week only that I will not repeat what my cousin Revees has told me he has written
On Monday I was conducted home in safety by my kind protector and his amiable sister
Mrs Reeves Lady Betty and Miss Clements are in Love with them both
My cousin has told you how much they disappointed us in declining to stay dinner What shall we
do if they are not as fond of our company as we are of theirs We are not used to be slighted you know And to be slighted by those we love there can be no •earing of that But I hope this will not be the case
At tea the name of Sir Rowland Meredith carried me instantly down
Mr Reeves had old the good Knight on his calling on the Friday Saturday Sunday and on this day b•f•re we returned from Colnebrooke▪ that I had been overfatigued at the Masquerade on Thursday night And so I was and was gone a little way out of town Ca•ried he should have said I was carried with a w•tness
Sir Rowland took notice that I must have had a smart illness for the time by my alterd countenance You are and must be ever lovely Miss Byron But I think you look not quite so serene you dont look so composed as you used to do But I was afraid you were denied to my longing sight I was afraid you would let your papa go down to Caermarthen without giving him an opportunity to bless his cross girl It is in vain I fear to urge you—He stopt and lookd full in my face—Pray Sir Rowland said I how does my brother Fowler
Why ay thats the duce of it Your brother Fowler But as the honest man says so say I I will not teaze you But never never will you have—But no more of that—I come to take my leave of you I should have set out this very morning could I have seen you on Saturday or Yesterday But I shall go tomorrow morning early You are glad of that madam I am sure
Indeed Sir Rowland I shall always respect and value you And I hope I shall have your good wishes Sir—
Yes yes madam you need not doubt it And I will humble all the proud women in Wales by telling them of Miss Byron
You tell me my Lucy that you were all moved at one of the conversations I gave you between the Knight Mr Fowler and myself
Were I to be as particular in my account of what passed on Sir Rowlands taking leave of me as I was on that other occasion and were you to judge by the effect his honest tenderness had on me as I craved his blessing and as he blessed me the big tears unheeded by himself straying down his reverend cheeks I think you would have been in like manner affected
Mr Fowler is to go down after him—If—if—if said the Knight looking fervently in my face—
I should be glad I said to see and to wish my brother a good journey
Tuesday morning early I had a kind enquiry after my rest from Miss Grandison in her brothers name as well as in her own And about eleven oclock came the dear Lady herself She would run up stairs to me following Sally—In her dressingroom say you—She shall not come down
She entered with the maid—Writing my dear said she I one day hope my Harriet you will shew me all you write—There there sitting down by me no bustle And how does my fair friend—Well—I see very well—To a Lover—or of a Lover—thats the same thing—
Thus sweetly familiar ran she on
Mrs Reeves entered Excuse me madam said Miss Grandison This is but one of my flying visits▪ as I call them My next shall be to you But perhaps I may not make it in form neither We are relations you know How does Mr Reeves He is a good man At home—
He is madam and will be rejoiced—
I know he will—Why madam this our Byron our Harriet I should say looks charmingly—You had best lock her up There are many more Sir Hargraves in the world than there are Miss Byrons
She told me that Sir Charles had set out that morning early for Canterbury He will be absent two or three days said she He charged me with his compliments He did nothing but talk of his newfound sister from the time he parted with you I shall promote your interest with him in order to strengthen my own I want to find him out
Some loveengagements I suppose madam said Mrs Reeves—It is impossible but the Ladies—
The Ladies Ay thats the thing▪ The duce is in them They will not stay to be asked These men the best of them love nothing but what is attended with difficulty But all his Lovematters he keeps to himself yet knows all mine—Except one little entanglement—Mr Reeves hears not what we say looking about her But you my dear shall reveal to me your sneaking passion if you have one and I will discover mine—But not to you Mrs Reeves No married women shall I trust with what lies in the innermost fold of my heart Your husbands are always the wiser for what you know tho they can keep their own counsel and then Harriet Satanlike the ungenerous wretches becoming both tempters and accusers laugh at us and make it wonderful for a woman to keep a secret
The Ladies will not stay to be asked Lucy—An odd hint—These men the best of them love nothing but what comes to them with difficulty—He keeps all his Love matters to himself ALL my Lucy—But indeed she had said before that if Sir Charles married half a dozen hearts would be broken
This is nothing to me indeed But once more I wonder why a man of a turn so laudable should have any secrets The more a good man permits any one to know of his heart the more good he might do by way of example—And has he can he have so many Lovesecrets and yet will he not let them transpire to such a sister—Whom and so she once hinted
it imported to know something of them But he knows best I am very impertinent to be more concerned for his sister than she is for herself But I do love her And one can no more bear to have those slighted whom we love than ones self.
It is very difficult Lucy to know ones self I am afraid I have a little spice of censoriousness in my temper which I knew nothing of till now But no it is not censoriousness neither I cannot be so mean as to be censorious And yet I can now methinks for the first time a little account for those dark spirits who may be too much obliged and who despairing to be able ever to return the obligation are ready to quarrel with the obliger
Spiteful men say that we women know not ourselves know not our own hearts I believe there is something of truth in the aspersion But as men and women are brothers and sisters as I may say are not the men equally censurable And should not we women say so were we to be as spiteful as they Must it needs be that a daughter of the same father and mother must be more silly more unsteady more absurd more impertinent than her brother—I hope not
Mrs Reeves not knowing as she said afterwards but Miss Grandison might have something to say to me withdrew
I believe I told you last Sunday said Miss Grandison of a cousin that we have A goodnatured young fellow He supped with us last night Sir Charles was so full of your praises yet not letting him into your history that he is halfwild to see you
God forbid thought I when she had gone only thus far that this cousin should be proposed—What an easy thing is it my Lucy to alarm a woman on the side of her vanity
He breakfasted with me this morning continued she after Sir Charles had set out and knowing that I intended to make you a flying visit he besought me
to take him with me But I would not my dear bring an inundation of new admirers upon you He has a great acquaintance and is very hold tho not indecent He is thought to be a modern wit you must know and to speak after an admirable writer a minute philosopher and thinks he has something to say for himself when his cousin is not present Before Sir Charles arrived and when we were in expectation of his coming being apprisd that Sir Charles had a serious turn he threatened to play upon him and as he phrased it to bamboozle him for these wits and witlings have a language peculiar to themselves But on Sir Charless arrival in two conversations he drew in his horns as we say; and now reverences those good qualities which however he has not the grace to imitate Now I will not answer but you may have a visit from him to see the loveliest woman in England If he comes see him or not as you please and think not yourself under any civil obligation to my brother or me to go out of your own way But I hope he will not be so impertinent I dont wish you to see him out of my brothers company because you will see him then to his own advantage And yet he has such a notion that we women love to be admired and to have handsome things said to us that he imagines the visit of a man made for that purpose will give him as free a welcome to the finest woman in the world as painters give to those who come to see their pictures and for the like reason But no more of Mr Grandison Yet I thought proper to prepare you if he should take so confident a liberty
I thanked her
Well but my dear you seem to have a long parcel of writing before you One two three four—Eight leaves—Upon my word—But Mr Reeves told me you are a writer and that you gave an account of all that befel you to our grandmother Shirley to our
uncle and aunt Selby to our cousins Lucy and Nancy—You see I remember every name And will you one day let me see what you write
Most willingly madam—
Madam interrupted she So formal Charlotte say With all my heart my everamiable my everkind Charlotte
So so—Well may the men say we love flattery when rather than want it we will flatter one another.
I was going to disclaim flattery Hush hush hush my dear I doubt not your sincerity You are a grateful and good girl But dare you will you shew me all and everything about that Greville that Orme that Fowler that Fenwick—You see I forget none of the names that your cousin Reeves told me of on Saturday last and which I made you talk of last Sunday
All and everything Miss Grandison But will you tell me of your gentleman
Will I No doubt of it How can young women be together one quarter of an hour and not lead one another into talk of their Lovers Lord my dear those secrets Sir Charles once said are the cement of young womens friendships
And could Sir Charles—
Could Sir Charles—Yes yes yes Do you think a man can be a judge of human nature and leave women out of the question Why my dear he finds us out in a minute Take care of yourself Harriet—If—
I shall be afraid of him—
What if you have a good conscience my dear—She then looked very archly She made me blush She lookd more archly I blushd I believe a deeper dye
Did I not tell you Lucy that she could do what she pleased with her eyes—But what did she mean by this
In my conscience my Harriet little or much I believe we women are all rogues in our hearts
And does Miss Grandison say that from her own conscience
I believe I do But I must fly I have ten more visits to pay before I go home to dress You will tell me all about your fellows you say
And you will tell me about your entanglement as you called it
Why thats a difficulty upon me But you must encourage me by your freedom and we will take up our wretches and lay them down again one by one as we run them over and bid them lie still and be quiet till we recal them to our memory
But I have not one Lover my Charlotte to tell you of I always gave them their dismission—
And I have but two that at present I care to own and they wont be dismissed But then I have half a dozen I believe that have said extravagant things to me and we must look upon them as Lovers elect you know who only want to be coquetted with
Miss Grandison I hope cannot think of coquetting
Not much only a little nowandthen to pay the men in their own coin
Charming vivacity said I I shall be undone if you dont love me
No fear no fear of that—I am a whimsical creature but the sun is not more constant in his course than I am steady in my friendships And these communications on both sides will rivet us to each other if you treat me not with reserve
She arose to go in a hurry Abate my bear Charlotte of half your other visits and favour me with your company a little longer
Give me some chocolate then and let me see your cousin Reevess I like them Of the ten visits six of the ladies will be gone to sales or to plague tradesmen
and buy nothing Anywhere rather than at home The devils at home is a phrase And our modern ladies live as if they thought so Two of the other four called upon me and hardly alighted I shall do so by them The other two I shall have paid my compliments to in one quarter of an hour
I rang for chocolate and to beg my cousins company
They wanted but the word In they came My apartment which the was pleased to admire then became the subject of a few moments conversation And then a much better took place Sir Charles I mean
I asked if her brother had any relations at Canterbury
I protest I dont know said she But this I know That I have none there Did I not hint to you that Sir Charles has his secrets—But he sometimes loves to play with my curiosity He knows I have a reasonable quantity of that
Were I his sister—
Then you must do as he would have you Harriet I know him to be steady in his purposes But he is besides so good that I give up any-thing to oblige him—
Your entanglement Charlotte asked I smiling Mr Reeves knows nothing from that word
Why yes my entanglement and yet I hate to think of it So no more of that It is the only secret I have kept from him and that is because he has no suspicion of the matter if he had tho my life were to be the forfeit I believe he would have it
She told us that she expected us soon to dine with her in St Jamess Square But that she must fix Sir Charles I hope said she you will often drop in upon me as I will upon you From this time we will have nothing but conversationvisits between us and we will leave the modern world to themselves and be Queen Elizabeths women I am sorry to tell you—Let me whisper it—
And she did but loud enough for every one to hear Altho I follow the fashion and make one fool the more for it I despise above one half of the women I know
Miss Grandison affectedly whispered I again should not do so because her example is of weight enough to mend them
Ill be hangd if Miss Byron thinks so rewhisperd she The age is too far gone Nothing but a national calamity can do it But let me tell you that at the same time I despise more than one half of the men But speaking out you and I will try to think ourselves wiser than anybody else and we shall have this comfort we shall not easily find any of our sex who by their superior wisdom will give us reason to think ourselves mistaken
But adieu adieu and adieu my agreeable friends Let me see you and you and you turning to each of the three as often as is convenient without ceremony And remember we have been acquainted these hundred years
Away she hurried forbidding me to go out of my apartment Mrs Reeves could not overtake her Mr Reeves had much ado to be in time to make his compliments She was in her chariot before he could offer his hand
How pretty it was my Lucy in Miss Grandison to remember the names of all my dear friends She told me indeed on Sunday that she should
If travelling into foreign countries gives ease and politeness would not one think that Miss Grandison has visited every European court as well as her brother If she has not was it necessary for Sir Charles to go abroad to acquire that freedom and ease which his sister has so happily attained without stirring out of the kingdom
These men had not best despise us Lucy There is not I hope so much difference in the geniuss of
the two sexes as the proud ones among theirs are apt to imagine especially when you draw comparisons from equal degrees in both
O Mr Walden take care of yourself if ever again you and I meet at Lady Bettys—But this abominable Sir Hargrave Not one word more of meeting at Lady Bettys There saw I first the wretch that still on recollection strikes terror into my heart
Wednesday a visit from Miss Clements and Lady Betty took me off my writing about two hours yet I overwrit myself and was obliged to lie down for about two more At night we had Sir John Allestree and his nephew and Miss Allestree and Miss Clements and Lady Betty at supper and cards But my stomach paining me about eleven I was permitted to retire to bed
On Thursday I finished my Letters relating my distresses and deliverance It was a dreadful subject I rejoiced when I had concluded it
The same day Mr Reeves received Sir Charless Letter inclosing that of the wretched Wilson I have often heard my grandfather observe that men of truly great and brave spirits are most tender and merciful and that on the contrary men of base and low minds are cruel tyrannical insolent whereever they have power What this short Letter so full of lenity of mercy of generous and humane care for the future good of a criminal and extended to unborn families as well as to all his acquaintance and friends in being enables one to judge of the truly heroic Sir Charles Grandison and what I have experienced of the low groveling unmanly insults of Sir Hargrave Pollexfen I a poor defenceless silly girl trickd into his power are flagrant proofs of the justice of the observation
I wish with all my heart that the best woman in the world were queen of a great nation and that it were in my power for the sake of enlarging Sir Charless ability to do good to make him her consort Then
am I morally sure that I should be the humble means of making a whole people happy
But as we had all been informed from other hands of Sir Hargraves threatnings of Sir Charless life Wilsons postscript has fastened a weight on my heart that will not be removed till the danger is overblown
This day I had Miss Grandisons compliments with tender enquiries brought me and a desire that as she supposed my first visit would be one of thankful duty meaning to Church for so I had told her it should my next might be to her
Yesterday I received the welcome packet from so many kind friends And I prosecuted with the more vigour for it my writingtask How easily do we glide into subjects that please us—How swiftly flies the pen—The characters of Sir Charles and of Miss Grandison were the subjects and I was amazed to find how much I had written in so short a time
Miss Grandison sent me in the evening of this day her compliments joined with those of her brother who was but just returned from Canterbury
I wonder what Sir Charles could do at Canterbury so many days and to have nobody there whom his sister knows
She would have made me a visit she sent me word but that as she expected her brother in the morning she had intended to have brought him with her She added that this morning Saturday they should both set out for Colnebrooke in hopes of the Earl and Countess of L arriving there as this night from Scotland
Do you think Lucy it would not have been generous in Sir Charles to have made one visit before he set out for so many days to that Canterbury to the creature on whom he had laid such an obligation I can only mean as to the civility of the thing you must think since he was so good to join in nay to propose the farther intimacy as a brother and friend and soforth—I wish that Sir Charles be as sincere in
his professions as his sister He may in his travels possibly he may have mistaken some gay weeds for fine flowers and pickd them up and brought them with him to England And yet if he has done so he will even then be superior to thousands who travel and bring home nothing but the weeds of foreign climates
He once said as Miss Grandison told me that the Countess of L is still a more excellent woman than my Charlotte Ah Sir Charles You can tell fibs I believe I will not forgive in you those slighter deviations which we are too apt to pass by in other even tolerable men
I wish you may be in earnest my good Sir in proposing to cultivate an intimate friendship with me as that of a brother to a sister Shake your head my Lucy if you will I mean no more that I may be intitled to tell you your faults as I see them In your sister Harriet you shall find tho a respectful yet an openeyed monitor Our Charlotte thinks you cannot be wrong in any-thing.
All I fear is that Sir Charless tenderness was designed to be excited only while my spirits were weak Yet he bespoke a brotherly relation to me before Mr Reeves when he brought me home and supposed me stolen from his family in my infancy That was going farther than was necessary if he thought to drop the fraternal character soon
But might not my own behaviour alarm him The kind the considerate man is perhaps compassionate in his intention Not distinguishing aright my bashful gratitude and downcast eye he might be afraid lest I should add one to the halfscore that his sister says will die if he marry
If this be so what my dear will your Harriet deserve if his caution does not teach her some
After all I believe these men in general think our hearts are made of strange combustible materials A
spark struck a match thrown in—But the best of men this admirable man will I hope find himself mistaken if he think so of your Harriet
What ails me that I am grown such a boaster Surely this horrid attempt of Sir Hargrave has not affected my brain Methinks I am not some how or other as I used to be in my head or heart I know not which
Do you Lucy bring me back again by your reminding Love if you think there is any alteration in your Harriet for the worse And the rather as it may prevent my uncle—
But what makes me so much more afraid of my uncle than I used to be—Yet men▪ in their raillery Dont however read this paragraph to him are so—I dont know how—so untender—But let me fall into the hands of my indulgent grandmamma and aunt Selby and into your gentle hands and all will be as it should be
But what was my subject before this last seized and ran away with my pen I did not use to wander thus when I had a beaten path before me O this vile vile Sir Hargrave if I have a fault in my head that did not use to be there it is entirely owing to him I am sure my heart is not wrong
But I can write nothing now but of Miss Grandison and her brother What entirely new scenes are opened to me by my distress—May I have cause as Sir Charles wished to reap good from the evil
I will endeavour to bring Miss Clements into an acquaintance with these worthie• that is to say if I have myself the interest to preserve my footing in their favour
Lady Betty resolves to recommend herself She will be acquainted with them she says whether they will or not And yet I could not bear for Lady Betty that she should be slighted by those whom she dotes upon▪ That surely is one of the heaviest of evils▪
And yet selflove where it is evidently inherent will enable one to get over it I believe pretty soon tho nothing but that and pride can in such Of some use therefore youll be apt to say are pride and selflove Why yes and so they are where they are a part of a persons habit But O my Lucy will not a native humility render this pride whose genuine offspring are resentment and illwill absolutely unnecessary and procure for us unmingled with mortification the esteem we wish for in the hearts of the worthy
As to the rest of my new acquaintance in town who till I knew this admirable sister and brother took up so much of my paper tho some of them are doubtless very worthy Adieu—That is to say as chosen subjects—Adieu says
Your HARRIET BYRON
Saturday Night
LORD have mercy upon me my dear—What shall I do—The vile Sir Hargrave has sent a challenge to Sir Charles—What may be the event—O that I had not come to London—This is a copy of the letter that communicates it It is from that Bagenhall But this is the copy of the Letter—I will endeavour to transcribe it—But no I cannot—My Sally shall write it over Lord bless me What shall I do
To Miss BYRON
CavendishSquareFeb 25
Madam
YOU might easily believe that the affair betwixt Sir Hargrave Pollexfen and Sir Charles Grandison could not after so violent an insult as the former received from the latter end without consequences
By all thats sacred Sir Hargrave knows not that I write
There is but one way that I can think of to prevent bloodshed and that madam seems to be in your own power
Sir Hargrave insists upon it that he meant you nothing but honour You know the use or abuse of the power he had obtained over you If he behaved with indecency he tells me not the truth
To make a young Lady whatever were her merit the wife of a man of near 10000 l a year and who had declared himself absolutely disengaged in her affections was not doing dishonour to her so much as to himself in the violent measures his Love obliged him to take to make her so
Now madam as Sir Charles Grandison was utterly a stranger to you as Sir Hargrave intended so honourably by you and as you are not engaged in your affections if you will consent to be Lady Pollexfen and if Sir Charles Grandison will ask pardon for his unprovoked knighterrantry I will not be Sir Hargraves second in the affair if he refuse to accept of such satisfaction in full for the violence he sustained
I solemnly repeat that Sir Hargrave knows nothing of my writing to you You may but I insist upon it as in confidence to everybody else consult your cousin Reeves on the subject Your honour given that you will in a months time be Sir Hargraves will make me exert all my power with him and I have reason to think that is not small to induce him to compromise on those terms
I went to Sir Charless house yesterday afternoon with a Letter from Sir Hargrave Sir Charles was just stepping into his chariot to his sister He opened it and with a civility that became his character told me he was just going with his sister to Colnebrooke to meet dear friends on their return from Scotland That he should return on Monday that the pleasure he
should have with his longabsent friends would not permit him to think of the contents till then But that the writer should not fail of such an answer as a gentleman ought to give
Now madam I was so much charmd with Sir Charles Grandisons sine person and politeness and his character is so extraordinary that I thought this interval between this night and Monday morning an happy one And I took it into my head to make the above proposal to you and I hope you will think it behoves you as much as it does me to prevent the fatal mischief that may otherwise happen to men of their consideration
I have not the honour of being personally known to you madam but my character is too generally established for any one to impute to me any other motives for this my application to you than those above given A line left for me at Sir Hargraves in Cavendishsquare will come to the hands of madam
Your most obedient humble Servant JAMES BAGENHALL
O MY dear What a Letter—Mr Reeves Mrs Reeves are grieved to the heart Mr Reeves says that if Sir Hardgrave insists upon it Sir Charles is obliged in honour to meet him—Murderous vile word honour What at this rate is honour The very opposite to duty goodness piety religion and to every thing that is or ought to be sacred among men
How shall I look Miss Grandison in the face Miss Grandison will hate me To be again the occasion of endangering the life of such a brother
But what do you think—Lady Betty is of opinion—Mr Reeves has consulted Lady Betty Williams in confidence—Lady Betty says that if the matter can be prevented—Lord bless me she says I ought to prevent it—What by becoming the wife of such a
man as Sir Hargrave so unmanly so malicious so low a wretch—What does Lady Betty mean—Yet were it in my power to save the life of Sir Charles Grandison and I refused to do it for selfish reasons refused for the sake of my worldly happiness when there are thousands of good wives who are miserable with bad husbands—But will not the sacrifice of my life be accepted by this sanguinary man That with all my heart would I make no scruple to lay down If the wretch will plunge a dagger in my bosom and take that for satisfaction I will not hesitate one moment
But my cousin said that he was of opinion that Sir Charles would hardly be brought to ask pardon How can I doubt said I that the vile man if he may be induced by this Bagenhall to compromise on my being his wife will dispense with that punctilio and wreak on me were I to be his unhappy property his whole unmanly vengeance Is he not spiteful mean malicious—But abhorred be the thought of my yeilding to be the wife of such a man—Yet what is the alternative Were I to die that wretched alternative would still take place His malice to the best of men would rather be whetted than blunted by my irrevocable destiny O my Lucy violent as my grief was dreadful as my apprehensions were and unmanly as the treatment I met with from the base man I never was distressd till now
But should Miss Grandison advise should she insist upon my compliance with the abhorred condition and has she not a right to insist upon it for the sake of the safety of her innocent brother can I then refuse my compliance with it—Are we not taught that this world is a state of trial and of mortification And is not calamity necessary to wean our vain hearts from it And if my motive be a motive of justice and gratitude and to save a life much more valuable to the world than my own and which but for me
had not been in danger—Ought I—And yet—Ah my Lucy what can I say—How unhappy that I cannot consult this dear lady who has such an interest in a life so precious as I might have done had she been in town
O Lucy What an answer as this unwelcome this wicked mediator gives it was that which the excellent man returned to the delivered challenge—
I am going to meet dear friends on their return from Scotland
What a meeting of joy will be here saddened over if they know of this shocking challenge And how can his noble heart overflow with pleasure on the joyful occasion as it would otherwise have done with such an important event in suspense that may make it the last meeting which this affectionate and most worthy of families will ever know How near may be the life of this dear brother to a period when he congratulates the safe arrival of his brother and sister And who can bear to think of seeing ere one week is overpast the now rejoicing and harmonious family clad in mourning for the first of brothers and first of men And I my Lucy I the wretched Harriet Byron to be the cause of all
And could the true hero say
That the pleasure he should have on meeting his long absent friends would not permit him to think of the contents of such a Letter till Monday but that then the writer should not fail of such an answer—as a gentleman ought to give
—O my dear Sir Charles on this occasion he is and ought to be very dear to me How I dread the answer which vile custom and false honour will oblige you as a gentleman to give And is there no way with honour to avoid giving such an answer as distracts me to be told as Mr Reeves tells me must be given if I your Harriet interpose not to the sacrifice of all my happiness in this life
But Mr Reeves asks May not this Bagenhall tho he says Sir Hargrave knows nothing of his writing
have written in concert with him—What if he has does not the condition remain And will not the resentment on the refusal take place—And is not the challenge delivered into Sir Charless hands And has he not declared that he will send an answer to it on Monday This is carrying the matter beyond contrivance or stratagem Sir Charles so challenged will not let the challenger come off so easily He cannot in real honour now make proposals for qualifying or accepting of them if made to him And is not Monday the next day but one—Only that day between for which I had been preparing my grateful heart to return my silent praises to the Almighty in the place dedicated to his honour for so signal a deliverance And now is my safety to be owing as it may happen to a much better persons destruction
I was obliged to lay down my pen—See how the blisterd paper—It is too late to send away this Letter If it were not it would be barbarous to torment you with it while the dreadful suspense holds
Sunday Morning
I AM unable to write on in the manner I used to do Not a moment all the past night did I close my eyes How they are swelled with weeping I am preparing however to go to church There will I renew my fervent prayers that my grateful thanksgiving for the past deliverance may be blessed to me in the future event
Mr Reeves thinks that no step ought to be or can be taken in this shocking affair till Sir Charles returns or Miss Grandison can be consulted He has taken measures to know every motion of the vile Sir Hargrave
Lord bless me my dear the man has lost three of his foreteeth A man so vain of his person O how must he be exasperated
Mr Reeves also will be informed of Sir Charless arrival the moment he comes to town He has private information that the furious Sir Hargrave has with him a m•n skilled in the science of offence with whom he is pra••ising—O my dear how this distracts me
For Mr Reeves or me to answer this Bagenhall Mr Reeves says is not to be thought of as he is a wicked man and was not likely to have written the 〈…〉 from good principles I once indeed proposed to w••te—I know not what to do what to propose—Can you write said Mr Reeves and promise or give hope to Sir Hargrave
O no no answered I
If you could it is my opinion that Sir Charles and his sister would both despise you however selfdenying and laudable your motive might be
Monday Morning Feb 27
WHAT a dreadful day was yesterday to me and what a still worse night had I if possible than the former! My prayers I doubt cannot be heard since they have not that affiance with them that they used to be attended with How happy was I before I came to London I cannot write I cannot do anything Mr Reeves is just informed that Sir Charles and Lord L and the two sisters arrived in town late last night O my Lucy to return such an answer I doubt as Sir Charles thinks a gentleman ought to send Good heaven how will this day end
Eight oClock
I HAVE received this moment the following billet
My dear Harriet
PREPARE yourself for a new admirer My sister L and I are resolved to breakfast with you unless you forbid us by the bearer If we find you to
have made an attempt to alter your usual morning appearance we shall suspect you of a desire to triumph over us in the consciou•ness of your sup•rior graces It is a sudden resolution You should have had otherwise notice last night and yet it was late ••fore we came to town—Have you been good Are you quite recovered But in half an hour I hope to ask you an hundred thousand questions
Compliments to our cousins
CH GR
HERE is a sweet sprightly billet Miss Grandison cannot know the Countess cannot know any-thing of the dreadful affair that has given to my countenance and I am sure will continue on it an appearance that did I not always dress when I arose for the morning would make me regardless of that Miss Grandison hints at
What joy at another time would the honour of this visit have given us But even now we have a melancholy pleasure in it Just such a one as the sorrowing friends of the desperatesick experience on the comingin of a longexpected physician altho they are in a manner hopless of his success But a coach stops—
I ran to the diningroom window O my dear It is a coach but only the two Ladies Good God—Sir Charles at this moment at this moment my boding heart tells me—
Twelve oClock
My heart is a little lighter Yet not unapprehensive—Take my narrative in course as I shall endeavour to give you the particulars of everything that passed in the last more than agreeable three hours
I had just got down into the great parlour before the Ladies entered Mr Reeves waited on them at their coach He handed in the Countess Miss Grandison in a charming humour entered with them
There Lady L first know our cousin Reeves said she—
The Countess after saluting Mrs Reeves turned to me—There Lady L said Miss Grandison Thats the girl Thats our Harriet—Her ladyship saluted me—But how now said Miss Grandison looking earnestly in my face How now Harriet—Excuse me Lady L taking my hand I must reckon with this girl leading me to the window—How now Harriet—Those eyes—Mr Reeves cousin Mrs Reeves Whats to do here—
Lively and everamiable Miss Grandison thought I how will byandby all this sweet sunshine in your countenance be shut in
Come come I will know proceeded she making me sit down and taking my hand as she sat by me her fan in the other hand I will know the whole of this matter—Thats my dear for I tryd to smile—An April eye—Would to heaven the month was come which my Harriets eye anticipates
I sighed Well but why that heavy sigh said she—Our grandmother Shirley—
I hope madam is very well
Our aunt Selby Our uncle Selby Our Lucy
All well I hope
What a duce ails the girl then Take care I dont have cause to beat you—Have any of your fellows hanged themselves—And are you concerned they did not sooner find the rope—But come we will know all byandby
Charlotte said the Countess approaching me I stood up you oppress our new sister I wish my dear you would borrow a few of our younger sisters blushes Let me take you out of this lively girls hands I have much ado to keep her down tho I am her elder sister Nobody but my brother can manage her
Miss Grandison madam is all goodness
We have been all disturbed said Mrs Reeves I was glad to be helpd out in the fear that Sir Hargrave Pollexfen—
O madam He dare not he will not—Hell be glad to be quiet if youll let him said the Countess
It was plain they knew nothing of the challenge
You have not heard any-thing particular asked Miss Grandison of Sir Hargrave
I hope your brother madam has not answered I
Not a word I dare say
You must believe ladies said I that I must be greatly affected were any-thing likely to happen to my deliverer as all must have been laid at my door Such a family harmony to be interrupted—
Come said Miss Grandison this is very good of you This is like a sister But I hope my Brother will be here byandby
And Lord L added the obliging Countess wants to see you my dear Come my love if Charlotte is naught we will make a party against her and she shall be but my secondbest sister I hope my Lord and Sir Charles will come together if they can but shake off wicked Everard as we call a kinsman whom Sir Charles has no mind to introduce to you without your leave
But well not stay breakfast for them said Miss Grandison They were not certain and desired we would not—Come come get us some breakfast Lady L has been up before her hour and I have told you Harriet that I am an early riser I dont choose to eat my gloves—But I must do something to divert my hunger And stepping to the harpsichord she touchd the keys in such a manner as shewd she could make them speak what language she pleased
I attended to her charming finger So did every one But breakfast coming in—No but I wont said she anticipating our requests and continuing the air by her voice ran to the table Hang ceremony said she
sitting down first let slower souls compliment And taking some muffing Ill have breakfasted before these Pray madams and Pray my dears are seated
Mad girl Lady L called her These Mrs Reeves are always her airs with us But I thought she would have been restrained by the example of her sister Harriet We have utterly spoiled the girl by our fond indulgence But Charlotte is a good heart to be everywhere pleaded for a whimsical head
Who sees not the elder sister in that speech replyd Miss Grandison But I am the most generous creature breathing yet nobody sinds it out For why do I assume these silly airs but to make you Lady L shine at my expence
Still Lucy the contents of that Bagenhalls letter hung heavy at my heart But as I could not be sure but Sir Charles had his reasons for concealing the matter from his sisters I knew not how to enter directly into the subject But thought I cannot I fish something out for the quiet of my own heart and leave to Sir Charless discretion the manner of his revealing the matter to his sisters or otherwise
Did your Ladyship said I to Lady L arrive on Saturday I knew not how to begin at the hospitable house at Colnebrooke my asylum
I did And shall have a greater value for that house than ever I had before for its having afforded a shelter to so valued a lady
You have been told Ladies I suppose of that Wilsons letter to Sir Charles
We have And rejoice to find that so deep a plot was so happily frustrated
His postscript gives me concern
What were the contents of it
That Sir Hargrave breathed nothing but revenge
Sir Charles told us nothing of that But it is not unlikely that a man so greatly disappointed should rave and threaten I am told that he is still either by shame or illness confined to his chamber
At that moment a chariot stopt at the door And instantly It is Lord L and Sir Charles with him said Miss Grandison
I dared not to trust myself with my joy I hurried out at one of the doors as if I had forgot something as they entered at the other I rushd into the back parlour—Thank God Thank God said I—My gratitude was too strong for my heart I thought I should have fainted
Do you wonder Lucy at my being so much affected when I had been in such a dreadful suspense and had formed such terrible ideas of the danger of one of the best of men all owing to his serving and saveing me
Surprizes from joy I fancy and where gratitude is the principal spring are sooner recovered from than surprizes which raise the more stormy passions Mrs Reeves came in to me My dear Your withdrawing will be noticed I was just coming in said I And so I was I went in
Sir Charles bowed low to me So did my Lord Permit me madam said Sir Charles to present Lord L to you He is our brother—Our latefound sister Harriet my Lord
Yes but Sir Charles said Miss Grandison Miss Byron and Mr and Mrs Reeves have been tormenting themselves about a postscript to that footmans letter You told not us of that postscript
Who minds postscripts Charlotte Except indeed to a Ladys Letter One word wi•h you good Miss Byron taking my hand and leading me to the window
How the fool colourd I could feel my face glow
O Lucy What a consciousness of inferiority fills a mind not ungenerous when it labours under the sense of obligations it cannot return
My sister Charlotte madam was impatient to present to you her beloved sister Lady L was as impatient to
attend you My Lord L was equally desirous to claim the honour of your acquaintance They insisted upon my introducing my Lord I thought it was too precipitant a visit and might hurt your delicacy and make Charlotte and me appear as if we had been ostentatiously boasting of the opportunities that had been thrown into our hands to do a very common service I think I see that you are hurt Forgive me madam I will follow my own judgment another time Only be assured of this that your merits and not the service have drawn this visit upon you
I could not be displeased at this polite address as it helped me to an excuse for behaving so like a fool as he might think since he knew not the cause
You are very obliging Sir My Lord and Lady L do me great honour Miss Grandison cannot do anything but what is agreeable to me In such company I am but a common person But my gratitude will never let me look upon your seasonable protection as a common service I am only anxious for the consequences to yourself I should have no pretence to the gratitude I speak of if I did not own that the reported threatnings and what Wilson writes by way of postscript have given me disturbance lest your safety should on my account be brought into hazard
Miss Byron speaks like herself But whatever were to be the consequences can you think madam that a man of any spirit could have acted otherwise than I did Would I not have been glad that any man would have done just the same thing in favour of my sister Charlotte Could I behave with greater moderation I am pleased with myself on looking back and that I am not always There shall no consequences follow that I am not forced upon in my own necessary defence
We spoke loud enough to be heard And Miss Grandison joining us said But pray brother tell us
if there be grounds to apprehend any-thing from what the footman writes
You cannot imagine but Sir Hargrave would bluster and threaten To lose such a prize so near as he thought himself to carrying his point must affect a man of his cast But are Ladies to be troubled with words Men of true courage do not threaten
Shall I beg one word with you Sir Charles said my cousin Reeves
They withdrew to the back parlour and there Mr Reeves who had the Letter of that Bagenhall shewed it to him
He read it—A very extraordinary Letter said he and gave it back to him—But pray what says Miss Byron to it—Is she willing to take this step in consideration of my safety
You may believe Sir Charles she is greatly distressed
As a tenderhearted woman and as one who thinks already much too highly of what was done she may be distressed But does she hesitate a moment upon the part she ought to take Does she not despise the writer and the writing—I thought Miss Byron—
He stopt it seems and spoke and looked warm the first time said Mr Reeves that I thought Sir Charles on occasion passionate
I wish Lucy that he had not stopt I wish he had said what he thought Miss Byron I own to you that it would go to my heart if I knew that Sir Charles Grandison thought me a mean creature
You must think Sir Charles that Miss Byron—
Pray Mr Reeves forgive me for interrupting you what steps have been taken upon this Letter
None Sir
It has not been honoured with notice not with the least notice
It has not
And could it be supposed by these mean men All
men are mean Mr Reeves who can be premeditatedly guilty of a baseness that I would be brought to ask pardon for my part in this affair No man Mr Reeves would be more ready than myself to ask pardon even of my inferior had I done a wrong thing But never should a prince make me stoop to disavow a right one
But Sir Charles let me ask you Has Sir Hargrave challenged you Did this Bagenhall bring you a Letter
Sir Hargrave has Bagenhall did But what of that Mr Reeves I promised an answer on Monday I would not so much as think of setting pen to paper on such an account to interrupt for a moment the happiness I had hoped to receive in the meeting of a Sister and her Lord so dear to me An answer I have accordingly sent him this day
You have sent him an answer Sir—I am in great apprehensions—
You have no reason Mr Reeves I do assure you But let not my sisters nor Lord L know of this matter Why should I who cannot have a moments uneasiness upon it for my own sake have the needless fears and apprehensions of persons to whom I wish to give nothing but pleasure to contend with An imaginary distress to those who think it more than imaginary is a real one And I cannot bear to see my freinds unhappy
Have you accepted Sir—Have you—
I have been two much engaged Mr Reeves in such causes as this I never drew my sword but in my own defence and when no other means could defend me I never could bear a designed insult I am naturally passionate You know not the pains it has cost me to keep my passion under But I have suffered too much in my afterregret when I have been hurried away by it not to endeavour to restrain its first sallies
I hope Sir you will not meet—
I will not meet any man Mr Reeves as a duellist I am not so much a coward as to be afraid of being branded for one I hope my spirit is in general too well known for any one to insult me on such an imputation Forgive the seeming vanity Mr Reeves but I live not to the world I live to myself to the monitor within me
Mr Reeves applauded him with his hands and eyes but could not in words The heart spoke these last words said my good cousin How did his face seem to shine in my eyes
There are many bad customs Mr Reeves that I grieve for But for none so much as this of premeditated duelling Where is the magnanimity of the man that cannot get above the vulgar breath How many fatherless brotherless sonless families have mourned all their lives the unhappy resort to this dreadful practice A man who defies his fellowcreature into the field in a private quarrel must first desy his God and what are his hopes but to be a murderer to do an irreparable injury to the innocent family and dependents of the murdered—But since you have been let into the matter so far by the unaccountable Letter you let me see I will shew you Sir Hargraves to me—This is it pulling it out of his pocketbook
YOU did well Sir Charles Grandison to leave your name My scoundrels were too far off their master to inform themselves by the common symbols who the person was that insulted an innocent man as to him innocent however on the highway You expected to hear from me it is evident; and you should have heard before now had I been able from the effects of the unmanly surprize you took advantage of to leave my chamber I demand from you the satisfaction due to a gentleman The Time your own provided it exceed not next Wednesday
which will give you opportunity I suppose to settle your affairs but the sooner the better The Place if you have no objection Kensington Gravelpits I will bring pistols for your choice or you may for mine which you will The rest may be left to my worthy friend Mr Bagenhall who is so kind as to carry you this on my part and to some one whom you shall pitch upon on yours Till when I am
Your humble Servant HARGRAVE POLLEXFEN
Saturday
I have a copy of my answer somewhere—Here it is You will wonder perhaps Mr Reeves on such a subject as this to sind it a long one Had Sir Hargrave known me better than he does six lines might have been sufficient
SIR
MR Bagenhall gave me yours on Saturday last just as I was stepping into my chariot to go out of town Neither the general contents nor the time mentioned in it made it necessary for me to alter my measures My sister was already in the chariot I had not done well to make a woman uneasy I have many friends and I have great pleasure in promoting theirs I promised an answer on Monday
My answer is this—I have ever refused and the occasion has happened too often to draw my sword upon a set and formal challenge Yet I have reason to think from the skill I pretend to have in the weapons that in declining to do so I consult my conscience rather than my safety
Have you any friends Sir Hargrave Do they love you Do you love them Are you desirous of life for their sakes for your own—Have you enemies to whom your untimely end would give pleasure—Let these considerations weigh with you They do and always did with me I am cool You cannot be so The cool person on such an occasion as this should
put the warm one on thinking This however as you please
But one more question let me ask you—If you think I have injured you is it prudent to give me a chance were it but a chance to do you a still greater injury
You were engaged in an unlawful enterprize If you would not have done by me in the same situation▪ what I did by you you are not let me tell you Sir Hargrave the man of honour that a man of honour should be sollicituous to put upon a foot with himself
I took not an unmanly advantage of you Sir Hargrave You drew upon me I drew not in return You had a disadvantage in not quitting your chariot after the lunge you made at me you may be thankful that I made no use of it
I should not have been sorry had I been able to give the Lady the protection she claimed with less hurt to yourself For I could have no malice in what I did Altho I had and have still a just abhorrence of the voilence you were guilty of to an helpless woman and who I have found since merited better treatment from you and indeed merits the best from all the world and whose life was endangered by the violence
I write a long Letter because I propose only to write Pardon me for repeating that the men who have acted as you and I have acted as well with regard to the Lady as to each other cannot were their principles such as would permit them to meet meet upon a foot
Let any man insult me upon my refusal and put me upon my defence and he shall find that numbers to my single arm shall not intimidate me Yet even in that case I would much rather choose to clear myself of them as a man of honour should wish to do than either to kill or maim any man My life is not my own Much less is another mans mine Him who thinks differently from me I can despise as heartily as he can despise me And if such a one imagines
that he has a title to my life let him take it But it must be in my own way not in his
In a word If any man has aught against me and will not be concluded by the Laws of his country my goings out and comings in are always known and I am any hour of the day to be found or met with whereever I have a natural call My sword is a sword of defence not of offence A pistol I only carry on the road to terrify robbers And I have found a less dangerous weapon sometimes sufficient to repel a sudden insult And now if Sir Hargrave Pollexfen be wise he will think himself obliged for this not unfriendly expostulation or whatever he pleases to call it to
His most humble Servant CHARLES GRANDISON
Monday
Mr Reeves besought Sir Charles to let him shew me these Letters
You may Mr Reeves said he since I intend not to meet Sir Charles in the way he prescribes
As I asked not leave Lucy to take copies of them I beg they may not be seen out of the venerable circle
I know I need not say how much I am pleased with the contents of the latter I doubt not but you all will be equally so Yet as Sir Charles himself expects not that Sir Hargrave will rest the matter here and indeed says he cannot consistently with the vulgar notions of honour do you think I can be easy as all this is to be placed to my account
But it is evident, that Sir Charles is He is governed by another set of principles than those of false honour and shews what his sister says to be true that he regards first his duty and then what is called honour How does the knowlege of these his excellencies raise him in my mind Indeed Lucy I seem sometimes to feel as if my gratitude had raised a throne or him in my heart but yet as for a dear friend as
a beloved brother only My reverence for him is too great—Assure yourself my dear that this reverence will always keep me right
Sir Charles and Mr Reeves returning into company the conversation took a general turn But oppressed with obligations as I am I could not be lively My heart as Miss Grandison says is I believe a proud one And when I thought of what might still happen who knows but from assassination in resentment of some very spirited strokes in Sir Charless Letter as well as from the disgrace the wretch must carry in his face to the grave I could not but look upon this fine man who seemed to possess his own soul in peace sometimes with concern and even with tender grief on supposing that now lively and happy as he seemed to be and the joy of all his friends he might possibly and perhaps in a few hours—How can I put down my horrid thoughts
At other times indeed I cast an eye of some pleasure on him when he looked another way on thinking him the only man on earth to whom in such distress I could have wished to owe the obligations I am under to him His modest merit thought I will not make one uneasy He thinks the protection afforded but a common protection He is accustomed to do great and generous things I might have been obliged to a man whose fortune might have made it convenient for him to hope such advantages from the risque he run for me as prudence would have made objections to comply with not a little embarrassing to my gratitude
But here my heart is left free And O thought I nowandthen as I looked upon him Sir Charles Grandison is a man with whom I would not wish to be in Love I to have so many rivals He to be so much admired Women not to stay till they are asked as Miss Grandison once said his heart must be proof against those tender sensations which grow into ardour
and glow in the bosom of a man pursuing a first and only Love
I warrant my Lucy if the truth were known altho Sir Charles has at Canterbury or at one place or other his halfscore Ladies who would break their hearts if he were to marry yet he knows not any one of them whom he loves better than another And all but right All but justice if they will not stay till they are asked
Miss Grandison invited Mr and Mrs Reeves and me to dinner on Wednesday and for the rest of the day and evening It was a welcome invitation
The Countess expressed herself pleased with me Poor and spiritless as was the figure which I made in this whole visit her prepossession in my favour from Miss Grandison must have been very great and generous
And will you not before now have expected that I should have brought you acquainted with the persons of Lord and Lady L as I am accustomed to give you descriptions of every one to whom I am introduced
To be sure we have say you
Well but my mind has not always been in tune to gratify you And upon my word I am so much humbled with one thing and another that I have lost all that pertness I think which used to give such a liveliness to my heart and alertness to my pen as made the writing task pleasant to me because I knew that you all condescended to like the flippant airs of your Harriet
Lady L is a year older than Sir Charles But has that true female softness and delicacy in her features which make her perfectly lovely and she looks to be two or three years younger than she is She is tall and slender and enjoys the blessing of health and spirits in an high degree There is something of more dignity and sprightliness in the air and features of Miss Grandison than in those of Lady L But there is in
those of the latter so much sweetness and complacency that you are not so much afraid of her as you are of her sister The one you are sure to love at first sight The other you will be ready to ask leave to let you love her and to be ready to promise that you will if she will spare you And yet whether she will or not you cannot help it
Lady L is such a wife I imagine as a good woman should wish to be thought The behaviour of my Lord to her and of her to my Lord is free yet respectful affectionate but not apishly fond One sees their Love for each other in their eyes All Lovematches are not happy This was a match of Love and does honour to it Everybody speaks of Lady L with equal affection and respect as a discreet and prudent woman Miss Grandison by her livelier manner is not so well understood in those lights as she ought to be and satisfied with the worthiness of her own heart is above giving herself concern about what the world thinks of it
Lord L is not handsome but he is very agreeable He has the look of an honest good man and of a man of understanding And he is what he looks to be He is genteel and has the air of a true British nobleman one of those I imagine that would have been respected by his appearence and manners in the purest times an hundred or two years or how long ago
I am to have the familyhistory of this Lord and Lady on both sides and of their Loves their difficulties and of the obligations they talk of being under to their brother to whom both my Lord and Lady behave with Love that carries the heart in every word in every look
What my dear shall we say to this brother Does he lay everybody that knows him under obligation And is there no way to be even with him in any one thing I long to have some intimate conversation with
Miss Grandison by which I shall perhaps find out the art he has of making everybody proud of acknowledging an inferiority to him
I almost wish I could while I stay in town devote half my time to this amiable family without breaking in upon them so much as to be thought impertinent The other half ought to be with my kind cousin Reevess I never shall make them amends for the trouble I have given them
How I long for Wednesday to see all the family of the Grandisons—They are all to be there—On several accounts I long for that day Yet this Sir Hargrave—
I have written my dear as usual very unreservedly I know that I lie more open than ever to my uncles observations But if he will not allow for weakness of heart of head and for having been frighted out of my wits and cruelly used and for further apprehensions and for the sense I have of obligations that never can be returned why then I must lie wholly at his mercy—But if he should find me to be ever so silly a creature I hope he will not make his particular conclusions general in disfavour of the Sex
Adieu my dear Lucy—And in you adieu all the dear and revered friends benefactors lovers of
Your HARRIET BYRON
SelbyhouseFeb 25
My dearest Harriet
ALTHO we have long ago taken a resolution never to dictate to your choice yet we could not excuse ourselves if we did not acquaint you with any proposal that is made to us on your account that you might encourage it or otherwise as you thought fit
The dowager Lady D wrote me a Letter some time ago as you will see by the date But insisted that I
should keep the contents a secret in my own bosom till she gave me leave to reveal it She has now given me that leave and requested that I will propose the matter to you I have since shewn what has passed between her Ladyship and me to your grandmamma Mr Selby and Lucy They are all silent upon it for the same reasons that I give you not my opinion that is to say till you ask it
But do we not see my dearest child that something has happened within a very few days past that must distance the hope of every one of your admirers as they come to be acquainted with the circumstances and situation you are now in My dear love you will never be able to resist the impulses of that gratitude which always opened and expanded your worthy heart
Your uncles tenderness for you on such a prospect has made him suppress his inclination to railly you He professes to pity you my dear While says he the sweet girl was vaunting herself and refusing this man and dismissing that and imagining herself out of the reach of the deity to which sooner or later all women bow I spared her not But now that I see she is likely to be over head and ears in the passion and has so much to be said for her excuse if she is caught and as our side must perhaps be the hoping side the gentlemans the triumphant I pitty her too much for what may be the ease to teaze her with my animadversions especially after what she has suffered from the vile Sir Hargrave
By several hints in your Letters it is impossible my dear that we can be beforehand with your inclinations Young women in a beginning Love are always willing to conceal themselves from themselves they are desirous to smother the fire before they will call out for help till it blazes and frequently becomes too powerful to be extinguished by any help They will call the passion by another name as gratitude suppose But my Harriet gratitude so properly sounded as yours
is can be but another name for Love The object so worthy your own heart so worthy consent of minds must bring it to Love on one side perhaps on both if the half score of Ladies you have heard of are all of them but mere moderns But that my dear is not to be supposed since worthy hearts find out and assimilate with each other Indeed those Ladies may be such as are captivated with outward figure An handsome man need not to have the great qualities of a Sir Charles Grandison to engage the hearts of the generality of our Sex But a good man and an handsome man if he has the vivacity that distinguishes Sir Charles may marry whom he pleases If we women love an handsome man for the sake of our eye we must be poor creatures indeed if we love not good men for the sake of our hearts
What makes us apprehensive for you my Harriet is this That we every one of us are in Love ourselves with this fine young gentleman Your uncle has fallen in with Mr Dawson an attorney of Nottingham who acts for Sir Charles in some of his affairs and gives him such a character respecting his goodness to his tenants and dependents only as will render credible all that even the fondest Love and warmest gratitude can say in his praise
We can hardly sometimes tell how to regret tho your accounts of your sufferings and danger cut us to the heart as we read them the base attempt of Sir Hargrave Were all to end as we wish we should not regret it But that my Harriet is our fear What will become of me said your grandmamma if at last the darling of my heart should be entangled in an hopeless passion
If this is likely to be the case while the fire I spoke of is but smothering and while but here and there a spark escapes your strugging efforts to keep it down resolve my dear to throw cold water on it and quench it quite And how is this to be done but
by changing your personal friendship with the amiable family into a correspondence by pen and ink and returning to our longing arms before the flame gets a head
When you are with us you may either give hope to the worthy Orme or encourage the proposal I inclose as you please
As you are not capable of the mean pride of seeing a number of men in your train and have always been uneasy at the perseverance of Mr Fenwick and Mr Greville—As you have suffered so much from the natural goodness of your heart on the urgency of that honest man Sir Rowland Meredith in his nephews favour and still more from the baseness of that wicked Sir Hargrave—As your good character and lovely person engage you more and more admirers—And lastly As it would be the highest comfort that your grandmamma and your uncle and I and all your friends and wellwishers could know to see you happily married—We cannot but wish for this pleasure and satisfaction The sooner you give it to us the better
But could there be any hope—You know what I mean—A royal diadem my dear would be a despicable thing in the comparison
Adieu my best Love You are called upon in my opinion to a greater trial than ever yet you knew of that prudence for which you have hitherto been so much applauded by every one and particularly by
Your truly maternal MARIANNA SELBY
Jan 23
GIVE me leave madam to address myself to you tho personally unknown on a very particular
occasion and at the same time to beg of you to keep secret even from Mr Selby and the party to be named as still more immediately concerned in the subject till I give my consent as no one creature of my family not even the Earl of D my son does or shall from me till you approve of it
My Lord has just entered into his twentyfifth year There are not many better young men among the nobility His minority gave an opportunity to me and his other Trustees to put him in possession when he came of age of a very noble and clear estate which he has not impaired His person is not to be found fault with He has learning and is allowed to have good sense which every learned man has not His conduct his discretion in his travels procured him respect and reputation abroad You may make enquiry privately of all these matters
We are you must believe very sollicitous to have him happily married He is far from being an undutiful son Indeed he was always dutiful A dutiful son gives very promising hopes of making a good husband He assures me that his affections are disengaged and that he will pay the most particular regard to my recommendation
I have cast about for a suitable wife for him I look farther than to the person of a woman tho my Lord will by no means have Beauty left out in the qualifications of a wife I look to the family to whom a Lady owes her education and trainingup Quality however I stand not upon A man of quality you know confers quality on his wife An antient and good gentlemans family is all I am sollicitous about in this respect In this light yours madam on all sides and for many descents is unexceptionable I have a desire if all things shall be found to be mutually agreeable to be related to it And your character as the young Lady has been brought up under your eye is a great inducement with me
Your niece Byrons beauty and merits as well as sweetness of temper are talked of by everybody Not a Day passes but we hear of her to her great advantage Now madam will you be pleased to answer me one qustion with that explicitness which the importance of the case and my own intended explicitness to you may require from woman to woman Especially as I ask it of you in confidence
Are then Miss Byrons affections absolutely disengaged We are very nice and must not doubt in this matter
This is the only question I will ask at present If this can be answered as I wish others in a treaty of this important nature will come into consideration on both sides
The favour of a line as soon as it will suit your convenience will oblige madam
Your most faithful and obedient Servant M D
Jan 27
Madam
I AM greatly obliged to your Ladyship for your good opinion of me and for the honour you do me and all our family in the proposed alliance
I will answer your Ladyships question with the requisite explicitness
Mr Greville Mr Orme and Mr Fenwick all of this county have respectively made application to us for our interest and to Miss Byron for her favour But hitherto without effect tho the terms each proposes might entitle him to consideration
Miss Byron professes to honour the married state and one day proposes to make some man happy in it if it be not his own fault But declares that she has
not yet seen the man to whom with her hand she can give her heart
In truth madam we are all neutrals on this occasion We have the highest opinion of her discretion She has read she has conversed and yet there is not in the county a better housewife or one who would make a more prudent manager in a family We are all fond of her even to doting Were she not our child we should love her for her good qualities and sweetness of manners and a frankness that has few examples among young women
Permit me madam to add one thing about which Miss Byron in her turn will be very nice Your Ladyship is pleased to say that my Lords affections are disengaged Were his Lordship a prince and hoped to succeed with her they must not be so after he had seen and conversed with her Yet the future happiness and not pride would be the consideration with her for she has that diffidence in her own merits from which the worthy of both Sexes cannot be totally free This diffidence would increase too much for her happiness were she to be thought of with indifference by any man on earth who hoped to be more than indifferent to her
As to other questions which as this is answered your Ladyship thinks may come to be asked I choose unasked having no reserves to acquaint your Ladyship that Miss Byron has not in her own power quite 15000l She has tis true reversionary expectations But we none of us wish that they should for many years take place since that must be by the death of Mrs Shirley her grandmother who is equally revered and beloved by all that know her and whose life is bound up in the happiness of her granddaughter
I will strictly obey your Ladyship in the secrecy enjoined and am madam
Your Ladyships obliged and faithful humble Servant MARIANNA SELBY
Feb 23
I SHOULD sooner have answered yours had I not waited for the return of my son who had taken a little journey into Wales to look into the condition of a small estate he has there which he finds capable of great improvement and about which he has given proper orders
I took the first opportunity to question him in relation to his inclinations to marriage and whether he had a regard to any particular woman And having received an answer to my wishes I mentioned Miss Byron to him as a young Lady that I should think from the general good character she bore would make him an excellent wife
He said he had heard her much talked of and always to her advantage I then shewed him as in confidence my Letter and your Answer There can be said I on purpose to try him but one objection on your part and that is fortune 15000l to a nobleman who is possessed of 12000l a year and has been offered four times the portion may be thought very inadequate The less to be stood upon replied he where the fortune on my side is so considerable The very answer my dear Mrs Selby that I wished him to make
I asked him if I should begin a formal treaty with you upon what he said He answered that he had heard from every mouth so much said in praise of Miss Byrons mind as well as person that he desired I would and that I would directly endeavour to obtain leave for him to visit the young Lady
I propose it accordingly I understand that she is at present in London I leave it to your choice madam
and Mrs Shirleys and Mr Selbys to whom now as also to Miss Byron you will be so good as to communicate the affair whether you will send for her down to receive my Lords visit and mine or whether we shall wait on her in town
I propose very high satisfaction to myself if the young people approve of each other in an alliance so much to my wishes in every respect I shall love the Countess of D as well as any of you can do Miss Byron And as she has not at present a mother I shall with pleasure supply that tender relation to her for the sake of so many engaging qualities as common fame as well as good Mrs Selby says she is mistress of
You will dispatch an answer as to the interview I am impatient for it I depend much upon the frankness of the young Lady which you make a part of her agreeable character And am madam
Your affectionate and faithful humble Servant M D
LondonFeb 28
INDEED my dear and everindulgent aunt Selby you have given me pain and yet I am very ungrateful I believe to say so But if I feel the pain tho perhaps I ought not should I not own it
What circumstances what situation am I in madam that I cannot be mistress of myself That shall turn my uncles halffeared tho always agreeable raillery into pity for me
Over head and ears in the passion—I to be on the hoping side the gentleman on the triumphant—It is impossible for you my friends to be aforehand with my inclinations—A beginning Love to be mentioned in which one is willing to
conceal ones self from ones self Fires Flames Blazes to follow—Gratitude and Love to be spoken of as synonymous terms—Ah my dear aunt how could you let my uncle write such a Letter and then copy it and send it to me as yours
And yet some very tender strokes are in it that no man that hardly anybody but you among women could write
But what do you do madam when you tell your Harriet of your own prepossessions in favour of a man who as you thought had before in my eye too many advantages Indeed you should have taken care not to let me know that his great qualities had impressed you all so deeply And my grandmamma to be so very apprehensive too for the entangled girl
Hopeless passion said she Entangled in an hopeless passion O let me die before this shall be deserved to be said of your Harriet
Then again rises to your pen smothering and escaped sparks and I am desired to hurry myself to get cold water to quench the flame—Dear dear madam what images are here And applied—To whom—And by whom—Have I written any thing so very blazing—Surely I have not But you should not say you will all forgive me if this be my sad situation You should not say How much you are yourselves all of you in love with this excellent man and talk of Mr Dawson and of what he says of him But you should have told me that if I suffer my gratitude to grow into Love you will never forgive me then should I have had a call of duty to check or controul a passion that you were afraid could not be gratified
Well and there is no way left me it seems but to fly for it To hurry away to Northamptonshire and either to begin a new treaty with Lord D or to give hope to an old Lover Poor Harriet Byron And is it indeed so bad with thee And does thy aunt Selby think it is
But is there no hope that the man will take pity of thee When he sees thee so sadly entangled will he not vouchsafe to lend an extricating hand
Oh no—Too much obliged as thou already art how canst thou expect to be further obliged Obliged in the highest degree
But let me try if I cannot play round this bright this beamy taper without singeing my wings I fancy it is not yet quite so bad with me At least let me stand this one visit of tomorrow And then if I find reason to think I cannot stand it I may take the kind advice and fly for it rather than add another hopeless girl to the halfscore that perhaps have been long sighing for this best of men
But even then my aunt that is to say were I to fly and take shelter under your protecting wings I shall not I hope think it absolutely necessary to light up one flame in order to extinguish another I shall always value Mr Orme as a friend but indeed I am less than ever inclined to think of him in a nearer light
As to Lady Ds proposal it admits not with me of half a thought You know my dearest aunt that I am not yet rejected by one with whom you are all in love—But this seriously I will own and yet I hope nothing but my gratitude is engaged and that indeed is a very powerful tie that since I have seen and known Sir Charles Grandison I have not only as before an indifference but a dislike to all other men And I think if I know my own heart I had rather converse but an hour in a week with him and with Miss Grandison than be the wife of any man I have ever seen or known
If this should end at last in Love and if I should be entangled in an hopeless passion the object of it would be Sir Charles Grandison He could not insult me and mean as the word pity in some cases founds I had rather have his pity than the love of any other man
You will upon the strength of what I have said be so good dear madam as to let the Countess of D know that I think myself highly obliged to her for her favourable opinion of me That she has by it interested all my good wishes in her sons happiness and that I was always of opinion that equality of fortune and degree tho not absolutely necessary to matrimonial felicity was however a circumstance not to be slighted But you madam can put my meaning in better in fitter words when you are assured that it is my meaning to give an absolute tho grateful negative to this proposal And I do assure you that such is my meaning and that I should despise myself were I capable of keeping one man in suspense even had I hope of your hope while I was balancing in favour of another
I believe madam I have been a little petulant and very saucy in what I have written But my heart is not at ease And I am vexed with these men one after another when Sir Hargrave has given me a surfeit of them and only that the bad has brought me into the knowledge of the best or I could resolve never more to hear a man talk to me no not for one moment upon a subject that is become so justly painful to one who never took pleasure in their any adulation
I know you will with your usual goodness and so will my grandmamma and so will my uncle Selby pardon all the imperfections of dearest madam
Your and Their ever dutiful HARRIET BYRON
Tuesday Evening Feb 28
MR Reeves my dear is just returned from a visit he made to St JamessSquare I transcribe a paper giving an account of what passed between Mr
Bagenhall and Sir Charles in relation to the shocking affair which has filled me with so much apprehension and which Sir Charles at my cousins request allowed him to put in his pocket
Mr Bagenhall came to Sir Charles yesterday evening with a message from Sir Hargrave demanding a meeting with him the next morning at a particular hour at Kensington Gravelpits Sir Charles took Mr Bagenhall with him into his Study and asking him to sit down Mr Bagenhall said That he was once concerned in an affair of this nature which had been very much misrepresented afterwards and that he had been advised to take a step which Sir Charles might think extraordinary which was that he had brought with him a young gentleman whom he hoped for Sir Hargraves satisfaction as well as to do justice to what should pass between them Sir Charles would permit to take minutes of their conversation And that he was in the Hall
Let not a gentleman be left in the Hall said Sir Charles and ringing directed him to be shewn into the Study to them Yet Mr Bagenhall said he I see no occasion for this Our conversation on the subject you come to talk of can be but short
Were it to hold but two minutes Sir Charles
What you please Mr Bagenhall
The young gentleman entered and pen and ink were set before him He wrote in shorthand And read it to the gentlemen and Sir Charles as it was to be transcribed for Sir Hargrave desiring a copy of it it was sent him the same night
A Conference between Sir Charles Grandison Bart and James Bagenhall Esq
Sir Ch
You have told me Mr Bagenhall Sir Hargravs demand Have you seen Sir the Answer I returned to his Letter
Mr Bagenhall
I have Sir
Sir Ch
And do you think there needs any other or further
Mr B
It is not Sir Charles such an answer as a gentleman can sit down with
Sir Ch
Do you give that as your own opinion Mr Bagenhall Or as Sir Ha graves
Mr B
As Sir Hargraves Sir And I believe it would be the opinion of every man of honour
Sir Ch
Man of honour Mr Bagenhall A man of honour would not have given the occasion which has brought you and me Sir▪ into a personal knowledge of each other I asked the question supposing there could be but one principal in this •ebate
Mr B
I beg pardon I meant not that there should be two
Sir Ch
Pray Sir let me ask you Do you know the particulars of Sir Hargraves attempt and of his violence to the Lady
Mr B
Sir Hargrave I believe has given me a very exact account of everything He meant not dishonour to the Lady
Sir Ch
He must have a very high opinion of himself if he thought the best he could do for her would be to do her honour—Sir pray put that down—Repeating what he said to the writer that he might not mistake
Sir Ch
But do you Mr Bagenhall think Sir Hargrave was justifiable was a man of honour in what he did
Mr B
I mean not as I told you Sir Charles to make myself a principal in this affair I pretend not to justify what Sir Hargrave did to the Lady
Sir Ch
I hope then you will allow me to refer to my Answer to Sir Hargraves Letter I shall send him no other I beg your pardon Mr Bagenhall I mean not a disrespect to you
Mr B
No other Sir Charles
Sir Ch
Since he is to see what this gentleman writes
pray put down Sir that I say The answer I have written is such a one as he ought to be satisfied with Such a one as becomes a man of honour to send if he thought fit to send any And such a one as a man who has acted as Sir Hargrave acted by a woman of virtue and honour ought to be thankful for—Have you written that Sir
Writer
I have Sir
Sir Ch
Write further if you please That I say Sir Hargrave may be very glad if he hear no more of this affair from the Ladys natural friends That however I shall rid him of all apprehensions of that nature for that I still consider the Lady as under my protection with regard to any consequences that may naturally follow what happened on Hounslowheath That I say I shall neglect no proper call to protect her further but that his call upon me to meet him must be such a one as my own heart can justify and that it is not my way to obey the insolent summons of any man breathing—And yet what is this Mr Bagenhall but repeating what I wrote
Mr B
You are warm Sir Charles
Sir Ch
Indeed I am not I am only earnest As Sir Hargrave is to be shewn what passes I say more than otherwise I should chuse to say
Mr B
Will you name your own Time and Place Sir Charles
Sir Ch
To do what
Mr B
To meet Sir Hargrave
Sir Ch
To do him good—To do good to my bitterest enemy I would meet him Let him know that I wrote a very long Letter because I would discharge my mind of all that I thought necessary to say on the occasion
Mr B
And you have no other answer to return
Sir Ch
Only this Let Sir Hargrave engage himself in a like unworthy enterprize and let the Lady as this did claim my protection and I will endeavour
to give it to her altho Sir Hargrave were surrounded by as many men armed as he has in his service that is to say if a legal redress were not at hand If it were I hold it not to be a point of bravery to insult magistracy and to take upon myself to be my own judge and as it might happen another mans executioner
Mr B
This is nobly said Sir Charles But still Sir Hargrave had not injured you he says And as I had heard you were a man of an excellent character and as I know that Sir Hargrave is a man of courage I took it into my head for the prevention of mischief to make a proposal in writing to the Lady whom Sir Hargrave loves as his own soul and if she had come into it—
Sir Ch
A strange proposal Mr Bagenhall Could you expect any-thing from it
Mr B
Why not Sir Charles She is disengaged it seems I presume Sir you do not intend to make court to her yourself
Sir Ch
We are insensibly got into a parley upon a subject that will not bear it Mr Bagenhall Tell Sir Hargrave—or write it down from my lips Sir speaking to the writer That I wish him to take time to enquire after my character and after my motives in refusing to meet him on the terms he expects me to see him Tell him That I have before now shewn an insolent man that I may be provoked But that when I have been so I have had the happiness to chastise such a one without murdering him and without giving any advantage over my own life to his single arm
Mr B
This is great talking Sir Charles
Sir Ch
It is Mr Bagenhall And I should be sorry to have been put upon it were I not in hope that it may lead Sir Hargrave to such enquiries as may be for his service as much as for mine
Mr B
I wish that two such spirits were better acquainted with each other or that Sir Hargrave had not
suffered so much as he has done both in person and mind
Sir Ch
What does all this tend to Mr Bagenhall I look upon you as a gentleman and the more for having said You were sollicitous to prevent further mischief or I should not have said so much to so little purpose And once more I must refer to my Letter
Mr B
I own I admire you for your spirit Sir But it is amazing to me that a man of your spirit can refuse to a gentleman the satisfaction which is demanded of him
Sir Ch
It is owing to my having some spirit that I can fearless of consequences refuse what you call satisfaction to Sir Hargrave and yet be fearless of insult upon my refusal I consider myself as a mortal man I can die but once Once I must die And if the cause be such as will justify me to my own heart I for my own sake care not whether my life be demanded of me tomorrow or forty years hence But Sir speaking to the writer Let not this that I have now said be transcribed from your notes It may to Sir Hargrave found ostentatiously I want not that anything should be read or shewn to him that would appear like giving consequence to myself except for Sir Hargraves own sake
Mr B
I beg that it may not be spared If you are capable of acting as you speak by what I have heard of you in the affair on HounslowHeath and by what I have heard from you in this conversation and see of you I think you a wonder of a man and should be glad it were in my power to reconcile you to each other
Sir Cha
I could not hold friendship Mr Bagenhall with a man that has been capable of acting as Sir Hargrave has acted by an innocent and helpless young Lady But I will name the terms on which I can take by the hand whereever I meet him a man to whom I can have no malice These are they That he lay at
the door of mad and violent passion the illegal attempt he made on the best of women That he express his sorrow for it and on his knees if he pleases it is no disgrace for the bravest man to kneel to an injured lady beg her pardon and confess her clemency to be greater than he deserves if she give it
Mr B
Good God Shall that be transcribed Sir Charles
Sir Ch
By all means And if Sir Hargrave is a man that has in his heart the least spark of magnanimity he will gladly embrace the opportunity of acting accordingly And put down Sir That sorrow that cont rition is all the atonement that can be made for a perpetrated evil
A faithful Narrative
Henry Cotes
February 27
DOES not your heart glow my Lucy now you have read as I suppose you have this paper And do not the countenances of every one of my revered friends round you Pray look shine with admiration of this excellent man And yet you all loved him before And so you all think I did Well I cant help your thoughts—But I hope I shall not be undone by a good man
You will imagine that my heart was a little agitated when I came to read Mr Bagenhalls question Whether Sir Charles intended to make court to me himself I am sorry to tell you Lucy that I was a little more affected than I wished to be Indeed I shall keep a lookout as you call it upon myself To say truth I laid down the paper at that place and was afraid to read the answer made to it When I took it up and read what followed I might have spared I saw my foolish little tremors See how frank I continue to be But if you come not to this paragraph
before you are aware you need not read it to my uncle
Mr Bagenhall went away so much pleased with Sir Charles as he owned that Mr Reeves encourages me to hope some way may be found to prevent further mischief Yet the condition which Sir Charles has proposed for my forgiving the wretch—Upon my word my dear I desire not to see Sir Hargrave either upon his knees or upon his feet I am sure I could not see him without very violent emotions His barbarity his malice his cruelty have impressed me strongly Nor can I be glad to see the wretch with his disfigured mouth and lip His lip it seems has been sewed up and he wears a great blacksilk patch or plaister upon the place
I cant find that Sir Charles has heard from the exasperated man since Mr Bagenhall left him yesterday
I hope nothing will happen to overcloud tomorrow I propose to myself as happy a day as in the present situation of things can be given to
Your HARRIET BYRON
END of VOL I
THE HISTORY OF Sir CHARLES GRANDISON IN A SERIES of LETTERS Published from the ORIGINALS By the Editor of PAMELA and CLARISSA
In SEVEN VOLUMES
VOL II
LONDON Printed by S RICHARDSON AND DUBLIN Reprinted and sold by the Booksellers M DCC LIII
THE HISTORY OF Sir CHARLES GRANDISON Bart
Wedn Night March 1
_MR Fowler set out yesterday for Gloucestershire where he has an estate He proposes to go from thence to Caermarthen to the worthy Sir Rowland He paid a visit to Mr Reeves and desird him to present to me his best wishes and respects He declard that he could not possibly take leave of me though he doubted not but I would receive him with goodness as he called it But it was that which cut him to the heart So kind and so cruel he said he could not bear it
I hope poor Mr Fowler will be more happy than I could make him Methinks I could have been
halfglad to have seen him before he went and yet but halfglad for had he shewn much concern I should have been pained
Take now my dear an account of what passed this day at St Jamess Square
There were at Sir Charles Grandisons besides Lord and Lady L the young Lord G one of Miss Grandisons humble Servants Mr Everard Grandison Miss Emily Jervois a young Lady of about fourteen a ward of Sir Charles and Dr Bartlett a Divine of whom more byandby
Sir Charles conducted us into the drawingroom adjoining to the diningroom where only were his two sisters They received my cousins and me with looks of Love
I will tell you said Sir Charles your company before I present them to you Lord L is a good man I honour him as such and love him as my sisters Husband
Lady L bowed and looked round her as if she took pride in her brothers approbation of her Lord
Mr Everard Grandison proceeded he is a sprightly man He is prepared to admire you Miss Byron You will not believe perhaps half the handsome things he will say to you but yet will be the only person who hears them that will not
Lord G is a modest young man He is genteel wellbred but is so much in Love with a certain young Lady that he does not appear with that dignity in her eye Why blushes my Charlotte that otherwise perhaps he might
Are not you Sir Charles a modest man
No comparisons Charlotte Where there is a double prepossession no comparisons—But Lord G Miss Byron is a good kind of young man Youll not dislike him though my sister is pleased to think—
No comparisons Sir Charles
Thats fair Charlotte I will leave Lord G to the
judgment of Miss Byron Ladies can better account for the approbation and dislikes of Ladies than we Men can
Dr Bartlett youll also see He is learned prudent humble Youll read his heart in his countenance the moment he smiles upon you Your grandpapa madam had fine curling silver hair had he not The moment I heard that you owed obligation to your grandfathers care and delight in you I figured to myself that he was just such a man habit excepted Your grandfather was not a Clergyman I think When I have friends whom I have a strong desire to please I always endeavour to treat them with Dr Bartletts company He has but one fault he speaks too little But were he to speak much every one else would wish to be silent
My ward Emily Jervois is an amiable girl Her father was a good man but not happy in his nuptials He bequeathed to my care on his deathbed at Florence this his only child My sister loves her I love her for her own sake as well as for her fathers She has a great fortune And I have had the happiness to recover large sums which her father gave over for lost He was an Italian merchant and driven out of England by the unhappy temper of his wife I have had some trouble with her and if she be living expect more
Unhappy temper of his wife Sir Charles You are very mild in your account of one of the most abandoned of women
Well but Charlotte I am only giving brief hints of Emilys story to procure for her an interest in Miss Byrons favour and to make their first acquaintance easy to each other Emily wants no prepossession in Miss Byrons favour She will be very ready herself to tell her whole story to Miss Byron Meantime let us not say all that is just to say of the Mother when we are speaking of the Daughter
I stand corrected Sir Charles
Emily madam turning to me is not constantly resident with us in town She is fond of being everywhere with my Charlotte
And where you are Sir Charles said Miss Grandison
Mr Reeves whispered a question to Sir Charles which was seconded by my eyes for I guessed what it was Whether he had heard any thing further of Sir Hargrave
Dont be anxious said Sir Charles All must be well People long used to error dont without reluctance submit to new methods of proceeding All must be well
Sir Charles stepping out brought in with him Miss Jervois The Gentlemen seem engaged in conversation said he But I know the impatience of this young Lady to pay her respects to Miss Byron
He presented her to us This dear girl is my Emily Allow me madam whenever Miss Grandison shall be absent to claim for her the benefit of your instruction and your general countenance as she shall appear worthy of it
There are not many men my Lucy who can make a compliment to one Lady without robbing or at least depreciating another How often have you and I observed that a polite brother is a black swan
I saluted the young Lady and told her I should be fond of embracing every opportunity that should offer to commend myself to her favour
Miss Emily Jervois is a lovely girl She is tall genteel and has a fine complexion and tho pitted with the smallpox is pretty The sweetness of her manners as expressed in her aspect gives her great advantage I was sure the moment I saw her that her greatest delight is to please
She made me two or three pretty compliments
and had not Sir Charles commended her to me I should have been highly taken with her
Mr Grandison entered Upon my honour Sir Charles I can stay no longer said he To know that the finest woman in England is under the same •oof with me yet to be so long detained from paying my respects to her—I cant bear it And in a very gallant manner as he seemed to intend he paid his compliments first to me and then to my two cousins—And whispering yet loud enough to be heard to Miss Grandison swore by his soul that report fell short of my perfections—and I cant tell what
Did I not tell you that you would say so Sir said Miss Grandison
I did not like the gentleman the better for what I had heard of him But perhaps should have been less indifferent to his compliment had I not before been acquainted with Mr Greville Mr Fenwick and Sir Hargrave Pollexfen The men of this cast I think seem all alike Poor creatures how from my heart—But indeed now that I have the honour to know these two sisters I despise myself
Sir Charles addressing himself to my cousins and me Now said he that my cousin Grandison has found an opportunity to introduce himself and that I have presented my ward to you we will if you please see how Lord L Lord G and Dr Bartlett are engaged
He led my cousin Reeves into the diningroom
Lord L addressed us with great politeness
After Sir Charles had presented the Doctor to my cousins he respectfully took my hand Were there fifty Ladies here my good Dr Bartlett whom you had never seen before you would I am sure from the character you have had of Miss Byron be under no difficulty of reading that character in this young Ladys Face Miss Byron behold in Dr Bartlett another grandfather
I reverence said I good Dr Bartlett I borrow Sir Charless thought The character he has given you Sir is stamped in your countenance I should have venerated you whereever I had seen you
The gentleman has such a truly venerable aspect my Lucy I could not help saying this
Sir Charless goodness madam said he as it ever did prevents my wishes I rejoice to see and to congratulate a new sister restored as I will call it in the language of Miss Grandison to the best of families
Just then came in a servant and whispered to Sir Charles Shew the gentleman said Sir Charles into the drawingroom next the study
Mr Grandison came up to me and said many silly things I thought them so at that time
Mr Reeves soon after was sent for out by Sir Charles I did not like his looks on his return
Dinner being ready to be served and Sir Charles who was still with the gentleman summoned to it he desird we would walk down and he would wait upon us by the time we were seated
Some new trouble thought I of which I am the cause I doubt
Presently came in Sir Charles unaffectedly smiling and serene—God bless you Sir thought I—His looks pleased me better than my cousins
But my dear there is something going forward that I cannot get out of my cousin I hoped I should when I got home The Gentleman to whom Sir Charles was called out was certainly that Bagenhall Mr Reeves cannot deny that I guessed it was by Sir Charless sending in for Mr Reeves It must be about me
We had several charming conversations Sir Charles was extremely entertaining So unassuming so lively so modest it was delightful to see the attention paid to him by the servants as they waited at table
They watched every look of his I never saw love and reverence so agreeably mingled in servants faces in my life And his commands were delivered to them with so much gentleness of voice and aspect that one could not but conclude in favour of both that they were the best of Servants to the best of Masters
Mr Grandison was very gallant in his speeches to me but very uncivil with his eyes
Lord L said but little but what he did say deservedly gained attention
Everybody reverenced Dr Bartlett and was attentive when he spoke and would I dare say on his own account had not the Master of the house by the regard he paid him engaged every ones veneration for him Many of the questions which Sir Charles put to him as if to inform himself it was evident he could himself have answered Yet he put them with an air of teachableness if I may so express myself and received the Doctors answers to them with as much satisfaction as if he were then newly enlightened by them—Ah my Lucy you imagine I dare say that this admirable man lost nothing in my eyes by this his polite condescension Reserve and a politeness that had dignity in it shewed that the fine Gentleman and the Clergyman were not separated in Dr Bartlett—Pity they should be in any of the function
Sir Charles gave Lord G an opportunity to shine by leading the discourse into circumstances and details which Lord G could best recount My Lord has been a traveller He is a connoisseur in Antiquities and in those parts of nice Knowlege as I a woman call it with which the Royal Society here and the learned and polite of other nations entertain themselves
Lord G appeared to advantage as Sir Charles managed it under the awful eye of Miss Grandison Upon my word Lucy she makes very free with him I whisperd her that she did—A very Miss How said I
To a very Mr Hickman rewhispered she—But heres the difference I am not determined to have Lord G Miss How yielded to her mothers recommendation and intended to marry Mr Hickman even when she used him worst One time or other archly continued she the whisper holding up her spread Hand and with a countenance of admiration my Lord G is to shew us his collection of Butterflies and other gaudy insects Will you make one—
Of the gaudy insects whispered I—
Fie Harriet—One of the party you know I must mean Let me tell you I never saw a collection of these various insects that I did not the more admire the Maker of them and of all us insects whatever I thought of the collectors of the minute ones—Another word with you Harriet—These little playful studies may do well enough with persons who do not want to be more than indifferent to us But do you think a Lover ought to take high delight in the painted wings of a Butterfly when a fine Lady has made herself all over Butterfly to attract him—Eyes off Sir Charles—for he looked tho smilingly yet earnestly at us as we whisperd behind the Countesss chair who heard what was said and was pleased with it
Thursday Morning Mar 2
I Should have told you that Miss Grandison did the honours of the table and I will go round it for I know you expect I should But I have not yet done with Lord G—Poor man he is excessively in Love I see that Well he may What man would not with Miss Grandison Yet is she too superior I think
What can a woman do who is addressed by a man of talents inferior to her own Must she throw away her talents Must she hide her light under a bushel purely to do credit to the man She cannot pick and choose as men can She has only her negative and if she is desirous to oblige her friends not always that Yet it is said Women must not encourage Fops and Fools They must encourage Men of Sense only And it is well said But what will they do if their lot be cast only among Foplings If the Men of Sense do not offer themselves And pray may I not ask if the taste of the age among the men is not Dress Equipage and Foppery Is the cultivation of the mind any part of their study The men in short are sunk my dear and the women but barely swim
Lord G seems a little too finical in his dress And yet I am told that Sir Walter Watkyns outdoes him in Foppery What can they mean by it when Sir Charles Grandison is before them He scruples not to modernize a little but then you see that it is in compliance with the fashion and to avoid singularity a sault to which great minds are perhaps too often subject tho he is so much above it
I want to know methinks whether Sir Charles is very much in earnest in his favour to Lord G with regard to Miss Grandison I doubt not if he be but he has good reasons for it
Were this vile Sir Hargrave out of my head I could satisfy myself about twenty and twenty things that nowandthen I want to know
Miss Jervois behaved very discreetly With what pleasure did she hang on every word that fell from the lips of her guardian I thought more than once of Swifts Cadenus and Vanessa Poor girl how I should pity her were she insensibly to suffer her gratitude to lead her to be in Love with her benefactor Indeed I pity everybody who is hopelesly in Love
Now dont you shake your head my uncle Did I not
always pity Mr Orme and Mr Fowler—You know I did Lucy
Miss Jervois had a smile ready for every one but it was not an implicit a childish smile It had distinction in it and shewed intelligence Upon the whole she said little and heard all that was said with attention And hence I pronounce her a very discreet young Lady
But I thought to have done with the Men first and here is Mr Grandison hardly mentioned who yet in his own opinion was not the last of the men at table
Mr Grandison is a man of middling stature not handsome in my eyes but so near being handsome that he may be excused when one knows him for thinking himself so because he is liable to make greater mistakes than that
He dresses very gaily too He is at the head of the fashion as it seems he thinks but however, is one of the first in it be it what it will He is a great frequenter of the drawingroom of all manner of publick spectacles a leader of the taste at a new Play or Opera He dances he sings he laughs and values himself on all three qualifications And yet certainly has sense but is not likely to improve it much since he seems to be so much afraid of suffering in the consequence he thinks himself of that whenever Sir Charles applies himself to him upon any of his levities tho but by the eye his consciousness however mild the look makes him shew an uneasiness at the instant He reddens sits in pain calls for favour by his eyes and his quivering lips and has notwithstanding a smile ready to turn into a laugh in order to lessen his own sensibilty should he be likely to suffer in the opinion of the company But every motion shews his consciousness of inferiority to the man of whose smiles or animadversions he is so very apprehensive
What a captious what a supercilious husband to a woman who should happen to have a stronger mind than his would Mr Grandison make But he values himself upon his having preserved his liberty
I believe there are more bachelors now in England by many thousands than were a few years ago And probably the numbers of them and of single women of course will every year increase The luxury of the age will account a good deal for this and the turn our Sex take in undomesticating themselves for a good deal more But let not these worthy young women who may think themselves destined to a single life repine overmuch at their lot since possibly if they have had no Lovers or having had one two or three have not found an husband they have had rather a miss than a loss as men go And let me here add that I think as matters stand in this age or indeed ever did stand that those women who have joined with the men in their insolent ridicule of Old Maids ought never to be forgiven No tho Miss Grandison should be one of the ridiculers An Old Maid may be an odious character if they will tell us that the bad qualities of the persons not the maiden State are what they mean to expose But then they must allow that there are Old Maids of Twenty and even that there are Widows and Wives of all ages and complexions who in the abusive sense of the words are as much Old Maids as the most particular of that class of females
But a word or two more concerning Mr Grandison
He is about Thirtytwo He has had the glory of ruining two or three women Sir Charles has restored him to a sense of shame All men I hope are born with it which a sew months ago he had got above And he does not now entertain ladies with instances of the frailty of individuals of their Sex which many are too apt encouragingly to
smile at when I am very much mistaken if every woman would not find her account if she wishes herself to be thought well of in discouraging every reflection that may have a tendency to debase or expose the Sex in general How can a man be suffered to boast of his vileness to one woman in the presence of another without a rebuke that should put it to the proof whether the boaster was or was not past blushing
Mr Grandison is thought to have hurt his fortune which was very considerable by his free living and an itch of gaming to cure him of which Sir Charles encourages him to give him his company at all opportunities He certainly has understanding enough to know how to value the favour for he owns to Miss Grandison that he both loves and fears him and nowandthen tells her that he would give the world if he had it to be able to be just what Sir Charles is Good God at other times he has broke out What an odious creature is a Rake How I hate myself when I contemplate the excellencies of this divine Brother of yours
I shall say nothing of Sir Charles in this place You I know my Lucy will admire me for my forbearance
Lady L and Miss Grandison were the Graces of the Table So lively so sensible so frank so polite so goodhumourd what honour do they and their Brother reflect back on the memory of their mother Lady Grandison it seems was an excellent woman Sir Thomas was not I have heard quite unexceptionable How useful if so are the women in the greater as well as in the lesser parts of domestic duty where they perform their duty And what have those who do not to answer for to GOD to their Children and even to their whole Sex for the contempts they bring upon it by their uselesness and
perhaps extravagance since if the human mind is not actively good it will generally be actively evil
Dr Bartlett I have already spoken of How did he enliven the conversation whenever he bore a part in it So happy an elocution so clear so just so solid his reasoning I wish I could remember every word he said
Sir Charles observed to us before we saw him that he was not forward to speak But as I hinted he threw the occasions in his way on purpose to draw him out And at such times what he said was easy free and unaffected And whenever a subject was concluded he had done with it His modesty in short made him always follow rather than lead a subject as he very well might do be it what it would
I was charmed with the Brachmans prayer which he occasionally gave us on the antient Persians being talked of
Looking up to the rising Sun which it was supposed they worshipped these were the words of the Brachman
O THOU meaning the ALMIGHTY by whom Thou meaning the Sun art enlightened illuminate my mind that my actions may be agreeable to THY Will
And this I will think of my Lucy as often as my early hour for the future shall be irradiated by that glorious orb
Everybody was pleased with Mr and Mrs Reeves Their modesty good sense and amiable tempers and the kind yet not ostentatious regard which they express to each other a regard so creditable to the married state cause them to be always treated and spoken of with distinction
But I believe as I am in a scribling vein I must give you the particulars of one conversation in which farther honour was done to Dr Bartlett
After dinner the Countess drawing me on one side by both my hands said well our other sister our newfound sister let me know how you like us I am in pain lest you should not love us as well as you do our Northamptonshire relations
You overcome me madam with your goodness
Miss Grandison then coming towards us Dear Miss Grandison said I help me to words—
No indeed Ill help you to nothing I am jealous Lady L dont think to rob me of my Harriets preferable Love as you have of Sir Charless I will be best sister here But what was your subject—Yet I will answer my own question Some pretty compliment I suppose Women to women Women hunger and thirst aster compliments Rather than be without them if no men are at hand to flatter us we love to say handsome things to one another; and so teach the men to find us out
You need not be jealous Charlotte said the Countess You may be sure This saucy girl Miss Byron is ever frustrating her own pretensions Can flattery Charlotte say what we will have place here—But tell me Miss Byron how you like Dr Bartlett
Ay tell us Harriet said Miss Grandison how you like Dr Bartlett Pray Lady L dont anticipate me I propose to give our new sister the history of us all And is not Dr Bartlett one of us She has already given me the history of all her friends and of herself And I have communicated to you like a good sister all she has told me
I considered Dr Bartlett I said as a Saint and at the same time as a man of true politeness
He is indeed said the Countess all that is worthy and amiable in man Dont you see how Sir Charles admires him
Pray Lady L keep clear of my province Here is Sir Charles He will not let us break into parties
Sir Charles heard this last sentence—Yet I wonder
not said he joining us that three such women get together Goodness to goodness is a natural attraction We men however will not be excluded—Dr Bartlett if you please—
The Doctor approached in a most graceful manner—Let me again Miss Byron present Dr Bartlett to you as a man that is an honour to his cloth and that is the same thing as if I said to human nature The good man bowed in silence and Miss Byron to you my good Doctor taking my hand as a Lady most worthy your distinguished regard
You do me too much honour Sir said I I shall hope good Doctor Bartlett by your instructions to be enabled to deserve such a recommendation
My dear Harriet said the Countess snatching my other hand you are a good girl and that is more to your honour than Beauty
Be quiet Lady L said Miss Grandison
Mr Grandison came up—What Is there not another hand for me
I was vexed at his interruption It prevented Dr Bartlett from saying something that his lips were opening to speak with a smile of benignity
How the World said Sir Charles smiling will push itself in Heart not Hand my dear Mr Grandison was the subject
Whenever You Sir Charles and the Doctor and these Ladies are got together I know I must be unseasonable But if you exclude me such company how shall I ever be what you and the Doctor would have me to be
Lord L and Lord G were coming up to us See your attraction Miss Byron said the Countess
But joined in Miss Grandison we will not leave our little Jervois by herself expecting and longing—Our Cousins Reeves—only that when they are together they cannot want company—should not be thus
left Is there more than one heart among us—This Mans excepted humourously pushing Mr Grandison as if from the company—Let us be orderly and take our seats
How cruel is this said Mr Grandison appealing to Sir Charles
Indeed I think it is a little cruel Charlotte
Not so Let him be good then—Till when may all our Sex say to such men as my cousin has been—
Thus let it be done by the man whom if he were good good persons would delight to honour
Shame if not principle said Lord L smiling would effect the cure if all Ladies were to act thus Dont you think so cousin Everard
Well well said Mr Grandison I will be good as fast as I can But Doctor what say you—Rome was not built in a day
I have great hopes of Mr Grandison said the Doctor But Ladies you must not as Mr Grandison observed exclude from the benefit of your conversation the man whom you wish to be good
What not till he is good said Miss Grandison Did I not say We should delight to honour him when he was
But what Sir Charles come I had rather take my cue from you than anybody what are the signs which I am to give to be allowed—
Only these my cousin—When you can be serious on serious subjects yet so chearful in your seriousness as if it sat easy upon you when you can at times prefer the company and conversation of Dr Bartlett who is not a solemn or severe man to any other and in general had rather stand well in his opinion than in that of the gayest man or woman in the world
Provided yours Sir Charles may be added to the Doctors—
Command me Mr Grandison whenever you two are together We will not oppress you with our subjects
Our conversation shall be that of Men of chearful Men You shall lead them and change them at pleasure The first moment and I will watch for it that I shall imagine you to be tired or uneasy I will break off the conversation and you shall leave us and pursue your own diversions without a question
You were always indulgent to me Sir Charles said Mr Grandison and I have retired and blushed to myself sometimes for wanting your indulgence
Tea was preparing Sir Charles took his own seat next Lord L whom he set in to talk of Scotland He enjoyed the account my Lord gave of the pleasure which the Countess on that her first journey into those parts gave to all his family and friends as Lady L on her part acknowleged she had a grateful sense of their goodness to her
I rejoice said Sir Charles that the sea divides us not from such worthy people as you my Lord have given us a relation to. Next visit you make Charlotte I hope will accompany me I intend to make one in your train as I have told your Lordship before
You will add to our pleasure Sir Charles All my relations are prepared to do you honour
But my Lord did not the Ladies think a little hardly of your Lordships engagement that a man of your merit should go from Scotland for a wife I do assure you my Lord that in all the countries I have been in I never saw finer women than I have seen in Scotland and in very few nations tho six times as large greater numbers of them
I was to be the happiest of men Sir Charles in a Grandison—I thank you bowing
It is one of my felicities my Lord that my sister calls herself yours
Lady L whispering me as I sat between her and Miss Grand son The two worthiest hearts in the world Miss Byron my Lord Ls and my brothers
With joy I congratulate your Ladyship on both rewhispered I May God long continue to you two such blessings
I thought of the vile Sir Hargrave at the time
I can tell you how said Mr Grandison to repay that nation—You Sir Charles shall go down and bring up with a you Scotish Lady
I was vexed with myself for starting I could not help it
Dont you think Lucy that Sir Charles made a very fine compliment to the Scotish Ladies—I own that I have heard the women of our Northern counties praised also But are there not think you as pretty women in England
My Sister Harriet applied Sir Charles to me you need not I hope be told that I am a great admirer of fine women
I had like to have bowed—I should not have been able to recover myself had I so seemed to apply his compliment
I the less wonder that you are Sir Charles because in the word fine you include mind as well as person
Thats my good girl said Miss Grandison as she poured out the tea and so he does
My dear Charlotte whisperd I—pray say something encouraging to Lord G He is pleased with everybody but nobody says any-thing to him and he I see both loves and fears you
Hush child whispered she again The mans best when he is silent If it be his day to love it is his day to fear What a duce shall a womans time be Never
Thats good news for my Lord Shall I hint to him that his time will come
Do if you dare I want you to provoke me She spoke aloud
I have done said I
My Lord what do you think Miss Byron says
For Heavens sake dear Miss Grandison
Nay I will speak it
Pray madam let me know said my Lord
You will know Miss Grandison in time said Sir Charles I trust her not with any of my secrets Miss Byron
The more ungenerous you Sir Charles for you get out of me all mine I complained of you Sir to Miss Byron for your reserves at Colnbrooke
Be so good madam said my Lord—
Nay nothing but the Mountain and the Mouse Miss Byron only wanted to see your collection of insects
Miss Byron will do me great honour—
If Charlotte wont attend you madam said the Countess to my Lord Gs I will
Have I not brought you off Harriet whispered Miss Grandison—Trust me another time—She will let you know the day before my Lord
Miss Grandison my Lord said I loves to alarm But I will with pleasure wait on her and on the Countess whenever they please
You will see many things worth your notice madam in Lord Gs collection said Sir Charles to me But Charlotte thinks nothing less than men and women worthy of her notice her parrot and squirrel the one for its prattle the other for its vivacity excepted
Thank you Sir Charles—But pray do you be quiet I fear nobody else
Miss Byron said the Countess pray spare her not I see you can make Charlotte afraid of two
Then it must be of three Lady L—You know my reverence for my elder sister
No no but I dont I know only that nobody can better tell what she should do than my Charlotte
But I have always taken too much delight in your vivacity either to wish or expect you to rein it in
You acted by me like an indolent parent Lady L who miscalls herself indulgent You gave me my head for your own pleasure and when I had got it tho you found the inconvenience you chose rather to bear it than to take the pains to restrain me—But Sir Charles whatever faults he might have had when he was from us came over to us finished He grew not up with us from year to year His blaze dazled me and I have tried over and over but cannot yet get the better of my reverence for him
If I have not my sisters love rather than what she pleasantly calls her reverence I shall have a much worse opinion of my own outward behaviour than of her merit
Your outward behaviour Sir Charles cannot be in fault said Lord L But I join with my sister Charlotte in her opinion of what is
And I too said the Countess—for I am a party—This is it Sir Charles—Who that lies under obligations which they cannot return can view the obliger but with the most delicate sensibilities
Give me leave said Miss Emily her face crimsoned over with modest gratitude to say that I am one that shall ever have a reverence superior to my love for the best of guardians
Blushes overspread my face and gave a tacit acknowledgment on my part of the same sensibility from the same motives
Who is it joined in Dr Bartlett that knows my patron but must acknowlege—
My dear Dr Bartlett interrupted Sir Charles from you and from my good Lord L these fine things are not to be borne From my three sisters looking at me for one and from my dear ward I cannot be so uneasy when they will not be restrained from acknowledging
that I have succeeded in my endeavours to perform my duty to them
I long to know as I said once before the particulars of what Sir Charles has done to oblige everybody in so high a manner Dont you Lucy Bless me what a deal of time have I wasted since I came to town I feel as if I had wings and had soared to so great an height that every thing and person that I before behold without dissatisfaction in this great town looks diminutive and little under my aking eye Thus my dear it must be in a better world if we are permitted to look back upon the highest of our satisfactions in this
I was asked to give them a lesson on the harpsichord after tea Miss Grandison said Come come to prevent all excuses I will shew you the way
Let it then be said Mr Grandison Shakespears Cuckow You have made me enter with so much comparative shame into myself that I must have something lively to raise my spirits
Well so it shall replied Miss Grandison Our poor cousin does not know what to do with himself when you are got a little out of his reach
That is not fair Charlotte said Sir Charles It is not that graceful manner of obliging in which you generally excel Compliance and Reflection are not to be coupled
Well well but I will give the good man his Cuckow to make him amends
Accordingly she sung that ballad from Shakespear and with so much spirit and humour as delighted everybody
Sir Charles being a judge of musick I looked a little sillier than common when I was again called upon
Come my dear said the kind Countess I will prepare you a little further When you see your two elder sisters go before you you will have more courage
She sat down and playd one of Scarlattis lessons which you know are made to shew a fine hand And surely for the swiftness of her fingers and the elegance of her manner she could not be equalled
It is referred to you my third Sister said Sir Charles who had been taken aside by Mr Reeves some whispering talk having passed between them to favour us with some of Handels musick Mrs Reeves says she has heard you sing several songs out of the Pastoral and out of some of his finest Oratorios
Come hither come hither my sweet Harriet—Heres his Alexanders Feast My brother admires that I know and says it is the noblest composition that ever was produced by man and is as finely set as written
She made me sit down to the instrument
As you know said I that great part of the beauty of this performance arises from the proper transitions from one different strain to another any one song must lose greatly by being taken out of its place and I fear—
Fear nothing Miss Byron said Sir Charles Your obligingness as well as your observation intitle you to all allowances
I then turned to that fine piece of accompanied recitative
Softly sweet in Lydian measures
Soon he soothd his soul to pleasures
Which not being set so full with accompanying symphonies as most of Mr Handels are I performed with the more ease to myself tho I had never but once before playd it over
They all with more compliments than I dare repeat requested me to play and sing it once more
Dare repeat methinks I hear my uncle Selby say The girl that does nothing else but repeat her own praises comes with her If I dare repeat
Yes Sir I answer for compliments that do not elevate that do not touch me run glibly off my pen But such as indeed raise ones vanity how can one avow that vanity by writing them down—But they were resolved to be pleased before I began
One compliment however from Sir Charles I cannot I find pass over in silence He whispered Miss Grandison as he leaned upon my chair How could Sir Hargrave Pollexfen have the heart to endeavour to stop such a mouth as that
AND now having last night and this morning written so many sides it is time to break off Yet I could give you many more particulars of agreeable conversation that passed were I sure you would not think me insufferably tedious and did not the unkind reserve of my cousin Reeves as to the business of that Bagenhall rush upon my memory with fresh force and help to tire my fingers I am the more concerned as my cousin himself seems not easy but is in expectation of hearing something that will either give him relief or add to his pain
Why Lucy should our friends take upon themselves to keep us in the dark as to those matters which it concerns us more to know than perhaps anybody else There is a tenderness sometimes shewn on arduous occasions in this respect that gives as much pain as we could receive from the most explicit communication And then all the while there is so much strength of mind and discretion supposed in the person that knows an event and such weakness in her that is to be kept in ignorance that—But I grow as saucy as impatient Let me conclude before I expose my self to reproof for a petulance that I hope is not natural to
Your HARRIET BYRON
Thursday Night Mar 2
AND what do you think was the reason of Mr Reevess reserves A most alarming one I am obliged to him that he kept it from me tho the uncertainty did not a little affect me Take the account of it as it comes out
I told you in my former that the person to whom Sir Charles was sent for out was Mr Bagenhall and that Sir Charles had sent in for Mr Reeves who returned to the company with a countenance that I did not like so well as I did Sir Charless I now proceed to give you from Minutes of Mr Reeves what passed on the occasion
Sir Charles took Mr Reeves aside—This unhappy man Sir Hargrave I mean said he seems to me to want an excuse to himself for putting up with a treatment which he thinks disgraceful When we have to deal with children humours must be a little allowed for But youll hear what the proposal is now Let not the Ladies however nor the Gentlemen within know any thing of the matter till all is over This is a day devoted to pleasure But you Mr Reeves know something of the matter and can answer for your fair cousin
He then led Mr Reeves in to Mr Bagenhall
This Sir is Mr Reeves—Sir Hargrave in short Mr Reeves among other demands that I cannot comply with but which relate only to myself and therefore need not be mentioned insists upon an introduction to Miss Byron He says she is absolutely disengaged—Is she Sir
I dare say she is answered my cousin
This gentleman has been naming to me Mr Greville Mr Orme and others
No one of them has ever met with the shadow of encouragement from my cousin She is above keeping any man in suspense when she is not in any herself Nothing has given her more uneasiness than the number of her Admirers
Miss Byron said Sir Charles must be admired by every one that beholds her but still more by those who are admitted to the honour of conversing with her But Sir Hargrave is willing to build upon her disengagement something in his own favour Is there any room for Sir Hargrave who pleads his sufferings for her who vows his honourable intentions even at the time that he was hoping to gain her by so unmanly a violence and appeals to her for the purity as he calls it of his behaviour to her all the time she was in his hands—who makes very large offers of settlements—is there any room to hope that Miss Byron—
No none at all Sir Charles—
What not to save a life Mr Reeves—said Mr Bagenhall
If you mean mine Mr Bagenhall replied Sir Charles I beg that that may not be considered If Sir Hargrave means his own I will pronounce that safe from any premeditated resentment of mine Do you think Miss Byron will bear to see Sir Hargrave Mr Reeves I presume he intends to beg pardon of her Will she consent to receive a visit from him—But is not this wretched trisling Mr Bagenhall
You will remember Sir Charles this is a proposal of mine what I hoped might be agreed to by Sir Hargrave but that I was willing to consult you before I mentioned it to him
I beg your pardon Mr Bagenhall I now remember it
If ever man doated upon a woman said Mr Bagenhall
it is Sir Hargrave on Miss Byron The very methods he took to obtain her for a wife shew that most convincingly—You will promise not to stand in his way Sir
I repeat Mr Bagenhall what I have heretofore told you That Miss Byron Youll excuse me Mr Reeves is still under my protection If Sir Hargrave as he ought is inclind to ask her pardon and if he can obtain it and even upon his own terms I shall think Miss Byron and he may be happier together than at present I can imagine it possible I am not desirous to be anyway considered but as her protector from violence and insult and that I will be if she claim it in defiance of an hundred such men as Sir Hargrave But then Sir the occasion must be sudden No legal relief must be at hand I will not either for an adversarys sake or my own be defied into a cool and premeditated vengeance
But Sir Charles Sir Hargrave has some hardships in this case You will not give him the satisfaction of a Gentleman And according to the Laws of Honour a man is not intitled to be treated as a Gentleman who denies to one—
Of whose making Mr Bagenhall are the Laws of Honour you mention I own no Laws but the Laws of GOD and my Country But to cut this matter short tell Sir Hargrave that little as is the dependence a Man of Honour can have upon that of a man who has acted by an helpless woman as he has acted by Miss Byron I will breakfast with him in his own house tomorrow morning if he contradicts it not I will attribute to the violence of his passion for the Lady the unmanly outrage he was guilty of I will suppose him mistaken enough to imagine that he should make her amends by marriage if he could compel her hand and will trust my person to his honour one servant only to walk before his door not to enter the house to attend my commands after our
conversation is over My sword and my sword only shall be my companion But this rather that I would not be thought to owe my safety to the want of it than in expectation after such confidence placed in him to have occasion to draw it in my own defence And pray Mr Bagenhall do you his friend be present and any other friends and to what number he pleases
When I came to this place in my cousins Minutes I was astonished I was out of breath upon it
Mr Bagenhall was surprised and asked Sir Charles if he were in earnest
I would not be thought a rash man Mr Bagenhall Sir Hargrave threatens me I never avoid a threatener You seem to hint Sir that I am not intitled to fair play if I consent not to meet him with a murderous intention With such an intention I never will meet any man though I have as much reason to rely on the skill of my arm as on the justice of my cause If foul play is hinted at I am no more safe from an assassin in my bedchamber than in Sir Hargraves house Something must be done by a man who refuses a challenge to let a challenger see such is the world such is the custom that he has better motives than fear for his refusal I will put Sir Hargraves Honour to the fullest test Tell him Sir that I will bear a great deal but that I will not be insulted were he a Prince
And you really would have me—
I would Mr Bagenhall Sir Hargrave I see will not be satisfied unless something extraordinary be done And if I hear not from you or from him I will attend him by ten tomorrow morning in an amicable manner to breakfast at his own house in Cavendish Square
I am in terror Lucy even in transcribing only
Mr Reeves said Sir Charles you undo me if one word of this matter escape you even to your wife
Mr Reeves begged that he might attend him to Sir Hargraves
By no means Mr Reeves
Then Sir Charles you apprehend danger
I do not Something as I said must be done This is the shortest and best method to make all parties easy Sir Hargrave thinks himself slighted He may infer if he pleases in his own favour that I do not despise a man in whom I can place such a confidence Do you Mr Reeves return to company and let no one know the occasion of your absence or of mine from it
I have told you my dear what a difference there was in the countenances of both when each separately entered the diningroom And could this great man surely I may call him great could he in such circumstances on his return give joy pleasure entertainment to all the company without the least cause of suspicion of what had passed
Mr Reeves as I told you singled out Sir Charles in the evening to know what had passed after he left him and Mr Bagenhall Sir Charles acquainted him that Mr Bagenhall had proposed to let him know that night or in the morning how Sir Hargrave approved of his intended visit He has accordingly signified to me already said Sir Charles that Sir Hargrave expects me
And will you go Sir
Dont give yourself concern about the matter Mr Reeves All must end well My intention is not to run into mischief but to prevent it My principles are better known abroad than they are in England I have been challenged more than once by men who knew them and thought to find their safety from them I have been obliged to take some extraordinary steps to save myself from insult and those steps have answered my end in more licentious countries
than this I hope this step will preserve me from calls of this nature in my own country
For Gods sake Sir Charles—
Be not uneasy on my account Mr Reeves Does not Sir Hargrave value himself upon his fortune He would be loth to forfeit it His fortune is my security And am I not a man of some consequence myself Is not the affair between us known will not therefore the cause justify me and condemn him The man is turbulent he is uneasy with himself he knows himself to be in the wrong And shall a man who resolves to pay a sacred regard to laws divine and human fear this Goth Tis time enough to fear when I can be unjust If you value my friendship as I do yours my good Mr Reeves proceeded he I shall be sure of your absolute silence I will attend Sir Hargrave by ten tomorrow morning You will hear from me or see me at your own house by twelve
And then it was as Mr Reeves tells me that Sir Charles turned from him to encourage me to give the company a lesson from Drydens Alexanders Feast as set by Handel which I chose to be in the lines Softly sweet c
Mr Reeves went out in the morning My cousin says he had been excessively uneasy all night He now owns he called at St Jamess Square and there breakfasted with Lord and Lady L Miss Grandison Miss Emily and Dr Bartlett Sir Charles went out at nine in a chair one servant only attending him The family knew not whither And his two sisters were fomenting a rebellion against him as they humourously called it for his keeping from them who kept nothing from him his motions when they and my Lord were together and at his house But my Lord and Miss Emily pleasantly refused to join in it Mr Reeves told us on his return that his heart was so sunk that they took great notice of his dejection
About three oclock just as Mr Reeves was determined
to go to St Jamess Square again and if Sir Charles had not been heard of to CavendishSquare tho irresolute what to do when there the following billet was brought him from Sir Charles After what I have written does not your heart leap for joy my Lucy
Half an hour after two
Dear Sir
I Will do myself the honour of visiting Mr Reeves Miss Byron and you at your usual teatime if you are not engaged I tell the Ladies here that those who have least to do are generally the most busy people in the world I can therefore be only answerable on this visit for Sir
Your most humble Servant CHARLES GRANDISON
Then it was that vehemently urged both by my cousin and me Mr Reeves gave us briefly the cause of his uneasiness
About six o clock Sir Charles came in a chair He was charmingly dressed I thought him the moment he enterd the handsomest man I ever saw in my life What a transporting thing must it be my Lucy to an affectionate wife without restraint without check and performing nothing but her duty to run with open arms to receive a worthy husband returning to her after a long absence or from an escaped danger How cold how joyless—But no I was neither cold nor joyless for my face as I felt it was in a glow and my heart was ready to burst with congratulatory meaning at the visible safety and unhurt person of the man who had laid me before under such obligations to him as were too much for my gratitude O do not do not tell me my dear friends that you love him that you wish me to be his I shall be ready if you do to wish—I dont know what I would say But your wishes were always the leaders of mine
Mrs Reeves having the same cause for apprehension could hardly restrain herself when he entered the room She met him at the door her hand held out and with so much emotion that Sir Charles said How well Mr Reeves you have kept my secret—Mr Reeves told him what an uneasiness he had laboured under from the preceding evening and how silent he had been till his welcome billet came
Then it was that both my cousins with equal freedom congratulated him
And Ill tell you how the Fool the maiden Fool looked and acted Her feet insensibly moved to meet him while he was receiving the freer compliments of my cousins I courtesied bashfully it was hardly noticeable and because unnoticed I paid my compliments in a deeper courtesy And then finding my hand in his when I knew not whether I had an hand or not—I am grieved Sir sad I to be the occasion to be the cause—And I sighed for one reason perhaps you can guess what that was and blushed for two because I knew not what to say nor how to look and because I was under obligations which I could not return
He kindly saved my further confusion by making light of what had passed And leading me to a seat took his place by me
May I ask Sir Charles—said my cousin Reeves and stopt
The conversation was too tedious and too various to be minutely related Mr Reeves But Sir Hargrave had by Mr Bagenhalls desire got his shorthand writer in a closet and that unknown to me till all was over I am to have a copy of what passed You shall see it if you please when it is sent me Mean time what think you of a compromise at your expence Miss Byron
I dare abide by every thing that Sir Charles Grandison has stipulated for me
It would be cruelty to keep a Lady in suspence where doubt will give her pain and cannot end in pleasure Sir Hargrave is resolvd to wait upon you Are you willing to see him
If Sir you would advise me to see him
I advise nothing Madam Pursue your inclinations Mr Reeves is at liberty to admit whom he pleases into his House Miss Byron to see in it or wheresoever she is whom she pleases I told him my mind very freely But I left him determined to wait on you I have reason to believe he will behave very well I should be surprised if he does not in the humblest manner ask your pardon and yours Mr Reeves and your Ladys But if you have any apprehensions Madam to me I will be ready to attend you at five minutes notice before he shall be admitted to your presence
It is very good Sir said Mr Reeves to be ready to favour Miss Byron with your countenance on such an occasion But I hope we need not give you that trouble in this house
Sir Charles went away soon after and Mr Reeves has been accusing himself ever since with answering him too abruptly tho he meant nothing but the truest respect And yet as I have written it on reperusal I dont above half like Mr Reevess answer But where high respect is entertained grateful hearts will always I believe be accusing themselves of imperfections which none other see or can charge them with
As Sir Charles is safe and I have now nothing to apprehend but Sir Hargraves visit I will dispatch this Letter with assurances that I am my dear Lucy
Your everaffectionate HARRIET BYRON
Friday One oClock Mar 3
SIR Charles had just sent the impatiently expected Paper transcribed by the shorthand writer from his minutes of the conversation that passed on Sir Charless intrepid visit at Sir Hargraves Intrepid I call it But had I known of it as Mr Reeves did before the event in some measure justified the rashness I should have called it rash and been for proposing to send Peaceofficers to CavendishSquare or taking some method to know whether he were safe in his person especially when three oclock approached and his dinnertime is earlier than that of most other people of fashion
Mr Reeves has been so good as to undertake to transcribe this long paper for me that I may have time to give you an account of three particular visits which I have received I asked Mr Reeves If it were not a strange way of proceeding in this Bagenhall to have his shorthand writer and now turned listener always with him He answered It was not a usual way but in cases of this nature where murder and a tryal were expected to follow the rashness in a court of justice he thought it carried with it tho a face of premeditation yet a look of fairness and there was no doubt but the man had been in bad scrapes before now and was willing to use every precaution for the future
The PAPER
On Thursday morning March the 2d 17 I Henry Cotes according to notice given me the preceding evening went to the house of Sir Hargrave Pollexfen Baronet in Cavendish Square about half an hour after eight in the morning in order to take
minutes in shorthand of a conversation that was expected to be held between the said Sir Hargrave Pollexfen and Sir Charles Grandison Baronet upon a debate between the said Gentlemen on which I had once before attended James Bagenhall Esquire at the House of the said Sir Charles Grandison in St James Square and from which consequences were apprehended that might make an exact account of what passed of great importance
I was admitted about nine oclock into the withdrawingroom where were present the said Sir Hargrave the said James Bagenhall Solomon Merceda Esquire and John Jordan Esquire And they were in full conversation about the reception that was to be given to the said Sir Charles Grandison which not being a part of my orders or business I had no command to take down but the contrary
And that I might with the less interruption take minutes of the expected conversation I was ordered to place myself in a large closet adjoining to the said withdrawingroom from which it was separated by a thin wainscotpartition But lest the said Sir Charles should object to the taking of the said minutes I was directed to conceal myself there till called forth but to take the said minutes fairly and truly as upon occasion I would make oath to the truth thereof
About half an hour after nine oclock I heard Mr Bagenhall with an oath that denoted by the voice eagerness and surprize say Sir Charles was come And immediately a footman enterd and said
Sir Charles Grandison
Then three or four of the Gentlemen spoke together pretty loud and high But what they said I thought not in my orders to note down But this is not improper to note Sir Hargrave said Give me that pair of pistols and let him follow me into the garden By G—he shall take one
No no I heard Mr Merceda say who being a foreigner I knew his voice from the rest—No no That must not be
And another voice I believe by the lisp it was Mr Jordans say Let us Sir Hargrave hear what a man so gallant has to say for himself Occasions may arise afterwards
Mr Bagenhall whose voice I well knew said D—n his blood if an hair of Sir Charles Grandisons head should be hurt on this visit
Do I d—n ye all said Sir Hargrave offer any thing unfair when I would give him the choice of the pistols
What in your own garden A pretty story whichsoever drops said Mr Merceda The devils in it if he may not be forced now to give you the satisfaction of a gentleman elsewhere
Desire Sir Charles D—n his blood said Sir Hargrave to come in And then as I saw through a knothole that I just then hunting for a crack in the wainscotpartition discovered Sir Charles entered and I saw that he looked very sedate and chearful and he had his sword by his side though in a morning dress And then the conversation began as follows
Sir Charles YOUR Servant Sir Hargrave Mr Bagenhall yours Your Servant Gentlemen
Mr Bagenhall Yours Sir Charles You are a man of your word This gentleman is Mr Jordan Sir Charles This gentleman is Mr Merceda
Sir Ch Mr Merceda—I have heard of Mr Merceda—I have been very free Sir Hargrave to invite myself to breakfast with you
Sir Hargrave Yes by G— And so you have before now Have you anybody with you Sir—If you have let them walk in
Sir Ch Nobody Sir
Sir Har These are gentlemen Sir They are men of honour They are my friends
Sir Ch They look like gentlemen I suppose every man a man of honour till I find him otherwise
Sir Har But dont think I have them here to intimidate—
Sir Ch Intimidate Sir Hargrave I know not what it is to be intimidated You say the gentlemen are your friends I come with a view to increase and not diminish the number of your friends
Sir Har Increase the number of my friends—What with one who robbed me of the only woman on earth that is worth having And who but for the unmanly advantage taken of me had been my wife before the day was over Sir And yet to resuse me the satisfaction of a gentleman Sir—But I hope you are now come—
Sir Ch To breakfast with you Sir Hargrave—Dont be warm I am determined if possible not to be provoked—But I must not be illtreated
Sir Har Why then Sir take one of those two pistols My chariot shall carry us—
Sir Ch Nowhere Sir Hargrave What has hitherto passed between us was owing to accident It is not my way to recriminate To your own heart however I appeal That must convince you that the method you took to gain the Lady rendered you unworthy of her I took no unmanly advantage of you That I refused to meet you in the way you have demanded gives me a title to call myself your best friend—
Sir Har My best friend Sir—
Sir Ch Yes Sir If either the preservation of your own life or the saving you a long regret for takeing that of another as the chance might have been deserves your consideration In short it depends upon yourself Sir Hargrave to let me know whether
you were guilty of a bad action from mad and violent passion or from design and a natural byass if I may so call it to violence which alone can lead you to think of justifying one bad action by another
Sir Har Then Sir account me a man of natural violence if you please Who shall value the opinion of a man that has disgracefully—G—dd—you Sir—Do you see—what marks I shall carry to my grave—
Sir Ch Were I as violent as you Sir Hargrave you might carry those marks to your grave and not wear them long—Let us breakfast Sir That will give you time to cool Were I even to do as you would have me you will best find your account in being cool You cannot think I would take such an advantage of you as your passion would give me
Mr Bag Nobly said by Heaven—Let us breakfast Sir Hargrave Then you will be cooler Then will you be fitter to discuss this point or any other
Mr Merceda Very right You have a noble enemy Sir Hargrave
Sir Ch I am no mans enemy Mr Merceda Sir Hargrave should consider that in the occasion for all this he was to blame and that all my part in the affair was owing to accident not malice
Mr Jordan I doubt not Sir Charles but you are ready to ask pardon of Sir Hargrave for your part—
Sir Ch Ask pardon Sir—No—I think I ought to have done just as I did Were it to do again I should do it whoever were the man
Sir Har See there See there—Mr Bagenhall Mr Merceda Mr Jordan See there Hear that—Who can have patience
Sir Ch I can tell you who ought to have patience Sir Hargrave I should have a very mean opinion of any man here called upon as I was if he had not done just as I did And a still meaner than I have of you Sir Hargrave had you in the like case refused
the same assistance to a woman in distress But I will not repeat what I have written
Sir Har If you are a man Sir Charles Grandison take your choice of one of those pistols G—d—n you I insist upon it
And I saw thro the knothole that Sir Hargrave arose in passion
Sir Ch As I AM a man Sir Hargrave I will not It might look to an angry man like an insult which I am above intending were I to say that I have given on our first interview proofs that I want not courage I give you now as I think the highest I can give in refusing your challenge A personal insult I know how to repel I know how to defend myself—But as I said I will not repeat any thing I have written
Mr Mer But Sir Charles you have threatened a man of honour in what you have written if we take you right with a weapon that ought to be used only to a scoundrel yet refuse—
Sir Ch The man Sir that shall take it into his head to insult me may do it with the greater safety tho perhaps not with impunity as he may be assured I will not kill him for it if I can help it I can play with my weapons Sir it may look like boasting but will not play with any mans life nor consent to make a sport of my own
Sir Har D—n your coolness Sir—I cannot bear—
Sir Ch Curse not your safety Sir Hargrave
Mr Jor Indeed Sir Charles I could not bear such an air of superiority—
Sir Ch It is more than an air Mr Jordan The man who can think of justifying one violent action by another must give a real superiority against himself Let Sir Hargrave confess his fault—I have put him in the way of doing it with all the credit to himself that a man can have who has committed a fault—and I offer him my hand
Sir Har Damnable insult—What own a fault to a man who without any provocation has dashed my teeth down my throat and as you see—Gentlemen—say Can I ought I now to have patience
Sir Ch I intended not to do you any of this mischief Sir Hargrave I drew not my sword to return a pass made by yours—Actually received a raking on my shoulder from a sword that was aimed at my heart I sought nothing but to hinder you from doing that mischief to me which I was resolved not to do to you This Sir Hargrave This gentlemen was the state of the case and the cause such as no man of honour could refuse engaging in—And now Sir I meet you upon my own invitation in your own house unattended and alone to shew you that I have the same disposition as I had from the first to avoid doing you injury And this it is gentlemen that gives me a superiority to Sir Hargrave which he may lessen by behaving as I in his case would behave to him
Mr Bag By G—this is nobly said
Mr Jor I own Sir Hargrave that I would sooner veil to such a Man as this than to a King on his throne
Sir Har D—n me if I forgive him with these marks about me—I insist upon your taking one of these pistols Sir—Gentlemen my friends he boasts of his advantages He may have some from his cursed coolness He can have none any other way Bear witness I forgive him if he lodges a brace of bullets in my heart—Take one of those pistols Sir They are equally loaded—Bear witness if I die that I have provoked my fate But I will die like a man of honour
Sir Ch To die like a man of honour Sir Hargrave you must have lived like one You should be sure of your cause But these pistols are too ready a mischief Were I to meet you in your own way Sir Hargrave I should not expect that a man so enraged would fire his over my head as I should be willing to
do mine over his Life I would not put upon the perhaps involuntary twitch of a finger
Sir Har Well then The sword You came tho undressed with your sword on
Sir Ch I did and for the reason I gave to Mr Bagenhall I draw it not however but in my own defence
Sir Har rising from his seat Will you favour me with your company into my own garden Only you and I Sir Charles Let the gentlemen my friends stay here They shall only look out of the windows if they please—Only to that grassplot Sir pointing as I saw—If you fall I shall have the worst of it from the looks of the matter killing a man in my own garden If I fall you will have the evidence of my friends to bring you off
Sir Ch I need not look at the place Sir Hargrave And since gentlemen it is allowed that the pistols may be dismissed and since by their being loaded on the table they seem but to stimulate to mischief you will all excuse me and you Sir Hargrave will forgive me—
And so saying he arose with great tranquillity as I saw and taking the pistols listed up the sash that was next to that at which Sir Hargrave stood and discharged them both out of the window
By the report the writer is sure they were well loaded
In ran a croud of servants men and women in dismay The writer sat still in the closet knowing the matter to be no worse One of the men cried out This is the murderer And they all not seeing their master as I suppose at the window beyond Sir Charles and who afterwards owned himself too much surprised to stir or speak were for making up to Sir Charles
Sir Charles then retiring put his hand upon his
sword But mildly said My friends your master is safe Take care I hurt not any of you
Sir Har I am safe—Begone scoundrels
Mr Bag Begone Quit the room Sir Hargrave is safe
Mr Mer Begone Begone
Mr Jor Begone Begone
The servants as I saw crouded out as fast as they came in
Sir Charles then stepping towards Sir Hargrave said You will some time hence Sir think the discharge of those pistols much happier than if they had been put to the use designed when they were loaded I offer you my hand It is an offer that is not to be twice refused If you have malice to me I have none to you I invited myself to breakfast with you You and your friends shall be welcome to dine with me My time is near expired looking at his watch—for Sir Hargrave seemed too irresolute either to accept or refuse his hand
Mr Jor I am astonished—Why Sir Charles what a tranquility must you have within you The devil take me Sir Hargrave if you shall not make up matters with such a noble adversary
Mr Mer He has won me to his side By the great God of Heaven I had rather have Sir Charles Grandison for my friend than the greatest Prince on earth
Mr Bag Did I not tell you gentlemen—D—n me if I have not hitherto lived to nothing but to my shame I had rather be Sir Charles Grandison in this one past hour than the Great Mogul all my life
Sir Hargrave even sobbed as I could hear by his voice like a child—D—n my heart said he in broken sentences—And must I thus put up—And must I be thus overcome By G— By G— Grandison you must you must walk down with me into the
garden I have something to propose to you and it will be in your own choice either to compromise or to give me the satisfaction of a gentleman But you must retire with me into the garden
Sir Ch With all my heart Sir Hargrave
And taking oft his Sword he laid it on the table
Sir Har And must I do so too—D—n me if I do—Take up your sword Sir
Sir Ch I will to oblige you Sir Hargrave It will be always in my choice to draw it or not
Sir Har D—n me if I can live to be thus treated—Where the devil have you been till now—But you must go lown with me into the garden
Sir Ch Shew me the way Sir Hargrave
They all interposed But Sir Charles said Pray gentlemen let Sir Hargrave have his way We will attend you presently
The writer then came out by the gentlemens leave who staid behind at the windows They expressed their admiration of Sir Charles And Mr Merceda and Mr Bagenhall the writer mentions it to their honour reproached each other as if they had no notion of what was great and noble in man till now
Sir Charles and Sir Hargrave soon appeared in sight walking and as conversing earnestly The subject it seems was some proposals made by Sir Hargrave about the Lady which Sir Charles would not comply with And when they came to the grassplot Sir Hargrave threw open his coat and waistcoat and drew and seemed by his motions to insist upon Sir Charless drawing likewise Sir Charles had his sword in one hand but it was undrawn the other was stuck in his side his frock was open Sir Hargrave seemed still to insist upon his drawing and put himself into a fencing attitude Sir Charles then calmly stepping towards him put down Sir Hargraves sword with his hand and put his leftarm under Sir
Hargraves swordarm Sir Hargrave lifted up the other arm passionately But Sir Charles who was on his guard immediately laid hold of the other arm and seemed to say something mildly to him and letting go his lefthand led him towards the house his drawn sword still in his hand Sir Hargrave seemed to expostulate and to resist being led tho but faintly and as a man overcome with Sir Charless behaviour and they both came up together Sir Charless arm still within his swordarm—The writer retired to his first place D—n me said Sir Hargrave as he enterd the room this man this Sir Charles is the devil—He has made a mere infant of me Yet he tells me he will not be my friend neither in the point my heart is set upon He threw his sword upon the floor This only I will say as I said below Be my friend in that one point and I will forgive you with all my soul
Sir Ch The Lady is must be her own mistress Sir Hargrave I have acquired no title to any influence over her She is an excellent woman She would be a jewel in the crown of a prince But you must allow me to say She must not be terrified I do assure you that her life has been once in danger already all the care and kindness of my sister and a physician could hardly restore her
Sir Har The most inflexible man devil I should say I ever saw in my life But you have no objection to my seeing her She shall see yet how can I forgive you that what I have suffered in my person for her sake If she will not be mine these marks shall be hers not yours And tho I will not terrify her I will see if she has no pardon no pity for me She knows she very well knows that I was the most honourable of men to her when she was in my power By all thats sacred I intended only to make her Lady Pollexfen I saw she had as many Lovers as visitors and I could not bear it—You Sir Charles
will stand my friend and if money and love will purchase her she shall yet be mine
Sir Ch I promise you no friendship in this case Sir Hargrave All her relations leave her it seems to her own discretion and who shall offer to lead her choice What I said below when you would have made that a condition I repeat—I think she ought not to be yours nor ought you either for your own sake or hers to desire it Come come Sir Hargrave consider the matter better Think of some other woman if you are disposed to marry Your figure—
Sir Har Yes by G—I make a pretty figure now dont I
Sir Ch Your fortune will make you happier in marriage with any other woman after what has happend than this can make you For my own part let me tell you Sir Hargrave I would not marry the greatest princess on earth if I thought she did not love me above all other men whether I deserved her love or not
Sir Har And you have no view to yourself in the advice you give—Tell me that—I insist upon your telling me that
Sir Ch Whenever I pretend to give advice I should abhor my self if I did not wholly consider the good of the person who consulted me and if I had any retrospection to myself which might in the least affect that person
The breakfast was then brought in This that follows was the conversation that passed at and after breakfast
Mr Bag See what a Christian can do Merceda After this will you remain a Jew
Mr Mer Let me see such another Christian and I will give you an answer You Bagenhall I hope will not think yourself intitled to boast of your Christianity
Mr Bag Too true We have been both of us sad dogs
Sir Har And I have been the most innocent man of the three and yet thats the devil of it am the greatest sufferer Curse me if I can bear to look at myself in the glass
Mr Jor You shall be above all that Sir Hargrave And let me tell you you need not be ashamed to be overcome as you are overcome You really appear to me a greater and not a less man than you did before by your compromising with such a noble adversary
Sir Har Thats some comfort Jordan But d—n me Sir Charles I will see the lady And you shall introduce me to her too
Sir Ch That cannot be—What Shall I introduce a gentleman to a lady whom I think he ought no more to see than she should see him If I thought you would go I might if she requested it be there lest from what she has sufferd already she should be too much terrified
Sir Har What Sir You would not turn Quixote again
Sir Ch No need Sir Hargrave You would not again be the giant who should run away with the lady
The gentlemen laughed
Sir Har By G— Sir you have carried your matters very triumphantly
Sir Ch I mean not triumph Sir Hargrave But where either truth or justice is concerned I hope I shall never palliate
Mr Bag Curse me if I believe there is such another man in the world
Sir Ch I am sorry to hear you say that Mr Bagenhall Occasion calls not out every man equally
Sir Har Why did I not strike him D—n me that must have provoked you to fight
Sir Ch Provokd in that case I should have been Sir Hargrave I told you that I would not bear to be insulted But so warranted to take other methods I should not have used my sword The case has happened to me before now But I would be upon friendly terms with you Sir Hargrave
Sir Har Curse me if I can bear my own littleness
Sir Ch When you give this matter your cool attention you will find reason to rejoice that an enterprize begun in violence and carried on so far as you carried it concluded not worse Every opportunity you will have for exerting your good qualities or for repenting of your bad will contribute to your satisfaction to the end of your natural life You could not have been happy had you prevailed over me Think you that a murderer ever was an happy man I am the more serious because I would have you think of this affair It might have been a very serious one
Sir Har You know Sir Charles that I would have compromised with you below But not one point—
Sir Ch Compromise Sir Hargrave—As I told you I had no quarrel with you You proposed conditions which I thought should not be complied with I aimed not to carry any point Selfdefence I told you was the whole of my system
Mr Bag You have given some hints Sir Charles that you have not been unused to affairs of this kind
Sir Ch I have before now met a challenger but it was when I could not avoid it and with the resolution of standing only on my own defence and in the hope of making an enemy a friend Had I—
Mr Bag What poor toads Merceda are we
Mr Mer Be silent Bagenhall Sir Charles had not done speaking Pray Sir Charles—
Sir Ch I was going to say that had I ever premeditatedly
〈…〉•way to a challenge that I could have 〈…〉 should have considered the acceptance of it as the greatest blot of my life I am naturally choleri• yet in this article I hope I have pretty much sn••ned myself In the affair between Sir Hargrave and me I have the pleasure to reflect that passion which I hold to be my most dangerous enemy has not had in any one moment an ascendancy over me
Sir Har No by my soul And how should it You came off too triumphantly You were not hurt You have no mark to shew May I be cursed if in forgiving you which yet I know not how to do I do not think my self the greater hero
Sir Ch I will not contest that point with you Sir Hargrave There is no doubt but the man who can subdue his passion and forgive a real injury is an hero Only remember Sir that it was not owing to your virtue that I was not hurt and that it was not my intention to hurt you
Mr Jor I am charmed with your sentiments Sir Charles You must allow me the honour of your acquaintance We all acknowledge duelling to be criminal But no one has the courage to break through a bad custom
Sir Ch The empty the false glory that men have to be thought brave and the apprehension of being deemed cowards among men and among women too very few men aim to get above
Mr Jor But you Sir Charles have shewn that reputation and conscience are entirely reconcileable
Mr Bag You have by Heaven And I beg of you Sir to allow me to claim your further acquaintance You may save a soul by it—Merceda what say you
Mr Mer Say What a devil can I say But the doctrine would have been nothing without the example
Sir Har And all this at my expence—But Sir Charles I must I will have Miss Byron
Mr Jor I think every thing impertinent that hinders me from asking questions for my information and instruction of a man so capable of giving both on a subject of this importance Allow me Sir Charles to ask a few questions in order to confirm me quite your proselyte
Sir Ch taking out his watch as I saw Time wears Let my servant be called in The weather is cold I directed him to atend before the door
It was immediately orderd with apologies
Sir Ch Ask me Mr Jordan what questions you please
Mr Jor You have been challenged more than once I presume
Sir Ch I am not a quarrelsome man But as it was early known that I made it a principle not to engage in a duel I was the more subjected I have reason to think for that to inconveniencies of this nature
Mr Jor Had you always Sir Charles that magnanimity that intrepidity that steadiness I know not what to call it which we have seen and admire in you
Sir Ch I have always considered Spirit as the distinction of a man My father was a man of spirit I never feard man since I could write man As I never sought danger or went out of my way to meet it I looked upon it when it came as an unavoidable evil and as a call upon me for fortitude And hence I hardly ever wanted that presence of mind in it which a man ought to shew and which sometimes indeed was the means of extricating me from it
Sir Har An instance of which this morning I suppose you think has produced
Sir Ch I had not that in my head In Italy indeed I should hardly have acted as in the instance you
hint at But in England and Sir Hargrave I was willing to think in Cavendish Square I could not but conclude myself safe I know my own heart I wishd you no Evil Sir I was calm I expected to meet you full of fire full of resentment But it is hard thought I as some extraordinary step seems necessary to be taken if I cannot content myself with that superiority excuse me Sir Hargrave which my calmness and Sir Hargraves passion must give me over him or any man My sword was in my power Had I even apprehended assassination the house of an English gentleman could not have been the place for it And where a confidence was reposed But one particular instance I own I had in my thought when I said what I did
All the gentlemen besought him to give it
Sir Charles In the raging of the war now so seasonably for all the powers at variance concluded I was passing through a wood in Germany in my way to Manheim My servant at some distance before me was endeavouring to find out the right road there being more than one He rode back affrighted and told me he had heard a loud cry of murder succeeded by groans which grew fainter and fainter as those of a dying person and besought me to make the best of my way back As I was thinking to do so tho my way lay through the wood and I had got more than halfway in it I beheld six Pandours issue from that inner part of the wood into which in all probability they had dragged some unhappy passenger for I saw an horse bridled and saddled without a rider grazing by the roadside They were well armed I saw no way to escape They probably knew everyavenue in and out of the wood I did not They stopped when they came within two musquetshots of me as if they had waited to see which way I took Two of them had dead poultry slung across their shoulders which shewed them to be common plunderers
I took a resolution to ride up to them I bid my servant if he saw me attacked make the best of his way for his own security while they were employed either in rifling or murdering me but if they suffered me to pass to follow me He had no portmanteau to tempt them That and my other baggage I had caused to be sent by water to Manheim—I am an Englishman gentlemen said I judging if Austrians as I supposed they were that plea would not disavail me I am doubtful of my way Here is a purse holding it out As soldiers you must be gentlemen It is at your service if one or two of you will be so kind as to escort and guide me through this wood They looked upon one another: I was loth they should have time to deliberate—I am upon business of great consequence Pray direct me the nearest way to Manheim Take these florins
At last one that seemed of authority among them held out his hand and taking the purse said something in Sclavonian and two of them with their pieces slung on their shoulders and their sabres drawn led me out of the wood in safety but hoped at parting my farther generosity I found a few more florins for them and they rode back into the wood I suppose to their fellows and glad I was to come off so well Had I either seemed afraid of them or endeavoured to escape probably I had been lost Two persons were afterwards found murdered in the wood one of them perhaps the unhappy man whom my servant had heard cry out and groan
Mr Jor I feel now very sensibly Sir Charles your danger and escape Your fortitude indeed was then of service to you
Sir Har But Sir Charles methinks I shall be easier in myself if you give me one instance of your making before now an enemy a friend Have you one in point
Sir Ch Stories of this nature come very ill from a mans own mouth
Sir Har I must have it Sir Charles A brothersufferer will better reconcile me to myself
Sir Char If you will not excuse me then I will tell you the story
Mr Jor Pray Sir—
Sir Ch I had a misunderstanding at Venice with a young gentleman of the place He was about twentytwo I was a year younger—
Mr Bag At the Carnival I suppose—About a Lady Sir Charles
Sir Ch He was the only son of a noble Venetian family who had great expectations from him He was a youth of genius Another noble family at Urbino to which he was to be allied in marriage had also an interest in his welfare We had made a friendship together at Padua I was at Venice by his Invitation and stood well with all his family He took offence against me at the instigation of a designing relation of his to own the truth a Lady as you suppose Mr Bagenhall his Sister He would not allow me to defend my innocence to the face of the accuser nor yet to appeal to his father who was a person of temper as well as sense On the contrary he upbraided me in a manner that I could hardly bear I was resolved to quit Venice and took leave of his whole family the Lady excepted who would not be seen by me The father and mother parted with me with regret The young gentleman had so managed that I could not with honour appeal to them and at taking leave of him in their presence under pretence of a recommendatory Letter he gave into my hand a written challenge The answer I returned after protesting my innocence was to this effect
I am setting out for Verona in a few hours You know my principles and I hope will better consider of the matter I never while I am master of my temper
will give myself so much cause of repentance to the last hour of my life as I should have were I to draw my Sword to the irreparable injury of any mans family or to run the same risque of injuring my own and of incurring the final perdition of us both
Mr Mer This answer rather provoked than satisfied I suppose
Sir Ch Provocation was not my intention I designed only to remind him of the obligations we were both under to our respective families and to throw in an hint of a still superior consideration It was likely to have more force in that Roman Catholic country than I am sorry to say it it would in this Protestant one
Sir Har How how Sir Charles did it end
Sir Ch I went to Verona He followed me thither and endeavoured to provoke me to draw Why should I draw said I Will the decision by the sword be certainly that of Justice You are in a passion You have no reason to doubt either my skill or my courage On such an occasion Gentlemen and with such a view a man may perhaps be allowed to give himself a little consequence And solemnly once more do I avow my innocence and desire to be brought face to face with my accusers
He raved the more for my calmness I turned from him with intent to leave him He thought fit to offer me a personal insult—I now methinks blush to tell it—He gave me a box on the ear to provoke me to draw—
Mr Mer And did you draw Sir
Mr Bag To be sure you then drew
Mr Jord Pray Sir Charles let us know You could not then help drawing This was a provocation that would justify a Saint
Sir Ch He had forgot in that passionate moment
that he was a gentleman I did not remember that I was one but I had no occasion to draw
Sir Har What a plague—You did not cane him
Sir Ch He got well after a fortnights lyingby
Sir Har Damnation
Sir Ch I put him into possession of the lodgings I had taken for myself and into proper and safe hands He was indeed unable for a day or two to direct for himself I sent for his friends His servant did me justice as to the provocation Then it was that I was obliged in a Letter to acquaint the father of a discovery I had made which the son had refused to hear which with the Ladys confession convinced them all of my innocence His father acknowleged my moderation as the young gentleman himself did desiring a renewal of friendship But as I thought the affair had gone too far for a cordial reconciliation and knew that he would not want instigators to urge him to resent an indignity which he had however brought upon himself by a greater offered to me I took leave of him and his friends and revisited some of the German courts that of Vienna in particular where I resided some time
In the mean while the young Gentleman married His Lady of the Altieri family is an excellent woman He had a great fortune with her Soon after his nuptials he let me know that as he doubted not if I had drawn my sword I should from his violence at the time have had his life in my power he could not but acknowlege that he owed all his acquisitions and the best of wives as well as the happiness of both families with that life to me
I apply not this instance But Sir Hargrave as I hope to see you married and happy though it can never be I think to Miss Byron such generous acknowlegements as misbecome not an Italian I shall then hope from an Englishman
Sir Har And had your Italian any marks left him Sir—Depend upon it I shall never look into a glass but I shall curse you to the very pit
Sir Ch Well Sir Hargrave This only I will add That be as sensible as you will and as I am of the happy issue of this untoward affair I will never expect a compliment from you that shall tend to your abasement
Mr Jord Your hand Sir Hardgrave to Sir Charles
Sir Har What without terms—Curse me if I do—But let him bring Miss Byron in his hand to me that is the least he can do Then may I thank him for my wife
Sir Charles made some smiling answer But the writer heard it not
Sir Charles would then have taken leave But all the Gentlemen Sir Hargrave among the rest were earnest with him to stay a little longer
Mr Jor My conversion must be perfected Sir Charles This is a subject that concerns us all We shall remember every tittle of the conversation and think of it when we do not see you—Let me beg of you to acquaint me how you came to differ from all other men of honour in your practice as well as in your notions upon this subject
Sir Ch I will answer your question Mr Jordan as briefly as I can
My Father Sir was a man of spirit He had high notions of honour and he inspired me early with the same I had not passed my twelfth year when he gave me a master to teach me what is called the science of defence I was fond of the practice and soon obtained such a skill in the weapons as pleased both my Father and Master I had strength of body beyond my years The exercise added to it I had agility it added to my agility And the praises given me by
my Father and Master so heightend my courage that I was almost inclined to wish for a subject to exercise it upon My Mother was an excellent woman She had instilled into my earliest youth almost from infancy notions of moral rectitude and the first principles of Christianity now rather ridiculed than inculcated in our youth of condition She was ready sometimes to tremble at the consequences which she thought might follow from the attention which I paid thus encouraged and applauded to this practice and was continually reading lectures to me upon true magnanimity and upon the law of kindness benevolence and forgiveness of injuries Had I not lost her so soon as I did I should have been a more perfect scholar than I am in these noble doctrines As she knew me to be naturally hasty and very sensible of affronts and as she had observed as she told me that even in the delight she had brought me to take in doing good I shewed an over readiness even to rashness which she thought might lead me into errors that would more than overbalance the good I aimed to do she redoubled her efforts to keep me right And on this particular acquirement of a skill in the management of the weapons she frequently enforced upon me an observation of Mr Locks
That young men in their warm blood are often forward to think they have in vain learned to fence if they never shew their skill in a duel
This observation insisted upon and inculcated as she knew how was very seasonable at that time of danger And she never forgot to urge upon me that the science I was learning was a science properly called of defence and not of offence at the same time endeavouring to caution me against the low company into which a dexterity at my weapons might lead me as well as against the diversions themselves exhibited at the infamous places where those brutal people resorted
Infamous even by namea as well as in the nature of them
From her instructions I had an early notion that it was much more noble to forgive an injury than to resent it and to give a life than to take it My Father I honour his memory was a man of gaiety of munificence He had great qualities But my Mother was my oracle And he was always so just to her merit as to command me to consider her as such and the rather he used to say as she distinguished well between the false glory and the true and would not have her boy a coward
Mr Mer A good beginning by my life
Mr Jord Pray proceed Sir Charles I am all attention
Sir Har Ay ay we all listen
Mr Bag Curse him that speaks next to interrupt you
Sir Ch But what indelibly impressed upon my heart my Mothers lessons was an occurrence which and the consequences of it I shall ever deplore My Father having taken leave of my Mother on a proposed absence of a few days was in an hour after brought home as it was thought mortally wounded in a duel My Mothers surprise on this occasion threw her into fits from which she never after was wholly free And these and the dangerous way he continued in for some time brought her into an ill state of health broke in short her constitution so that in less than a twelvemonth my Father to his inexpressible anguish of mind continually reproaching himself on the occasion lost the best of Wives and my Sisters and I the best of Mothers and Instructors
My concern for my Father on whom I was an hourly attendant throughout the whole time of his confinement and my being by that means a witness of what both he and my mother suffered completed
my abhorrence of the vile practice of duelling I went on however in endeavouring to make myself a master of the science, as it is called and among the other weapons of the staff the better to enable me to avoid drawing my sword and to impower me if called to the occasion to give and not take a life and the rather as the custom was so general that a young man of spirit and fortune at one time or other could hardly expect to escape a provocation of this sort
My Father once had a view at the persuasion of my Mothers Brother who was a general of note and interest in the Imperial service and who was very fond of a military life and of me to make a soldier of me tho an only son and I wanted not when a boy a turn that way But the disgust I had conceived on the above occasion against duelling and the consideration of the absurd alternative which the gentlemen of our army are under either to accept a challenge contrary to laws divine and human or to be broke if they do not though a soldier is the least master of himself or of his own life of any man in the community made me think the English service tho that of my country the least eligible of all services And for a man who was born to so considerable a stake in it to devote himself to another as my Uncle had done from principles which I approved not I could not but hesitate on the proposal young as I was As it soon became a maxim with me not to engage even in a national cause without examining the justice of it it will be the less wonderd at that I could not think of any foreign service
Mr Bag Then you have never seen service Sir Charles
Sir Ch Yes I made one campaign as a volunteer notwithstanding what I have said I was then in the midst of marching armies and could not tell how to abate the ardor those martial movements had
raised in my breast But unless my country were to be unjustly invaded by a foreign enemy I think I would not on any consideration be drawn into the field again
Mr Jord But you lead from the point Mr Bagenhall Sir Charles was going to say somewhat more on the subject of duelling
Sir Ch When I was thus unhappily deprived of my Mother my Father in order to abate my grief I was very much grieved was pleased to consent to my going abroad in order to make the Grand Tour as it is called having first visited all the British dominions in Europe Gibraltar and Minorca excepted I then supposing I might fall into circumstances that might affect the principles my mother had been so careful to instil into me and to which my fathers danger and her death had added force it was natural for me to look into history for the rise and progress of a custom so much and so justly my aversion and which was so contrary to all laws divine and human and particularly to that true heroism which Christianity enjoins when it recommends meekness moderation and humility as the glory of the human nature But I am running into length
Again Sir Charles took out his watch They were clamorous for him to proceed
When I found continued he that this unchristian custom owed its rise to the barbarous northern nations who had however some plea to make in excuse which we have not as they were governed by particular lords and were not united under one head or government to which as to a last resort persons supposing themselves aggrieved might appeal for legal redress and that these barbarous nations were truly barbarous and enemies to all politeness my reasoning on this occasion added new force to prejudices so well founded
The gentlemen seemed afraid that Sir Charles had done speaking They begged he would go on
I then had recourse proceeded he to the histories of nations famous for their courage That of the Romans who by that quality obtained the empire of the world was my first subject I found not any traces in their history which could countenance the sa age custom When a dispute happend the challenge from both parties generally was
That each should appear at the head of the army the next engagement and give proofs of his intrepidity against the common foe
The instance of the Horatii and Curiatii which was a publick a national combat as I may call it affords not an exception to my observation And yet even that in the early ages of Rome stands condemned by a better example For we read that Tullus challenged Albanus general of the Albans to put the cause of the two nations upon the valour of each captains arm for the sake of sparing a greater essusion of blood But what was the answer of Albanus tho the inducement to the challenge was so plausible
That the cause was a publick not a private one and the decision lay upon the two cities of Alba and Rome
Many ages afterwards Augustus received a challenge from Mark Antony Who gentlemen thought of branding as a coward that prince on his answering
That if Antony were weary of his life he night find many other ways to end it than by his sword
Metellus before that challenged by Sertorius answerd with his pen not his sword
That it was not for a captain to die the death of a common soldier
The very Turks know nothing of this savage custom And they are a nation that raised themselves by their bravery from the most obscure beginnings into one of the greatest empires on the globe at this day They take occasion to exalt themselves above
Christians in this very instance and think it a scandal upon Mussulmans to quarrel and endeavour to wreak their private vengeance on one another.
All the Christian doctrines as I have hinted are in point against it But it is dreadful to reflect that the man who would endeavour to support his arguments against this infamous practice of duelling by the Laws of Christianity tho the most excellent of all Laws Excuse me Mr Merceda your own are included in them would subject himself to the ridicule of persons who call themselves Christians I have mentioned therefore Heathens and Mahometans tho in this company perhaps—But I hope I need not however remind anybody here That that one doctrine of returning good for evil is a nobler and more heroic doctrine than either of those people or your own Mr Merceda ever knew
Mr Jord You have shewn it Sir Charles by example by practice to be so I never saw an hero till now
Sir Ch One modern instance however of a challenge refused I recollect and which may be given by way of inference at least to the advantage of my argument The army of the famous Mareschal Turenne in revenge for injuries more than hostile as was pretended had committed terrible depredations in the Palatinate The Elector incensed at the unsoldierly destruction challenged the Mareschal to a single combat The Mareschals answer was to this effect
That if the trust which the King his master had reposed in him would permit him to accept of his challenge he would not refuse it but on the contrary would deem it an honour to measure his arms with those of so illustrious a Prince But that for the sake of his masters service he must be excused
Now tho I think the Mareschal might have returned a still better answer tho this was not a bad
one for a military man yet where we can as Christians and as Men plead the Divine Laws and have not when we meet as private subjects the Mareschals nor even the Goths excuse I think the example worthy consideration
And if gentlemen I have argued before now or should I hereafter argue as follows to a challenger shall I deserve either to branded or insulted
Of what use are the Laws of society if magistracy may be thus defied Were I to accept of your challenge and were you to prevail against me who is to challenge you and if you fall who him by whose sword you perish Where in short is the evil to stop But I will not meet you My system is selfdefence and selfdefence only Put me upon that and I question not but you will have cause to repent it A premeditated revenge is that which I will not meet you to gratify I will not dare to risque the rushing into my Makers presence from the consequences of an act which cannot in the man that falls admit of repentance and leaves for the survivors portion nothing but bitter remorse I fear not any more the reproaches of men than your insults on this occasion Be the latter offered to me at your peril It is perhaps as happy for you as for myself that I have a fear of an higher nature Be the event what it will the test you would provoke me to can decide nothing as to the justice of the cause on either side Already you will find me disposed to do you the justice you pretend to seek For your own sake therefore consider better of the matter since it is not impossible but were we to meet and both survive you may exchange what you will think a real disgrace for an imaginary one
And thus gentlemen have I almost syllogistically argued with myself on this subject
Courage is a virtue
Passion is a vice
Passion therefore cannot be Courage
Does it not then behove every man of true honour to shew that reason has a greater share than resentment in the boldness of his resolves
And what by any degree is so reasonable as a regard to our duty
You called upon me gentlemen to communicate my notions on this important subject I have the more willingly obeyed you as I hope Sir Hargrave on the occasion that brought us to this not unhappy breakfasting will be the better satisfied that it has so ended and as if you are so good as to adopt them they may be of service to others of your friends in case of debates among them Indeed for my own sake I have always been ready to communicate my notions on this head in hopes sometimes to be spared provocation for as I have owned I am passionate I have pride And am often afraid of myself and the more because I am not naturally I will presume to say a timid man
Mr Bag Fore God Sir Hargrave somebody has escaped a scouring as the saying is
Mr Mer Aye by my life Sir Hargrave you had like to have caught a Tartar
Sir Ch The race is not always to the swift gentlemen Sir Hargraves passion would doubtless have laid him under disadvantage Defence is guarded Offence exposes itself
Mr Bag But Sir Charles you despise no man I am sure for differing from you in opinion I am a Catholic—
Sir Ch A Roman Catholic—No religion teaches a man evil I honour every man who lives up to what he professes
Mr Bag But that is not the case with me I doubt
Mr Mer That is out of doubt Bagenhall
Mr Jord The truth is Mr Bagenhall has found his conveniencies in changing He was brought up a Protestant These dispensations Mr Bagenhall—
Mr Mer Ay and they were often an argument in Bagenhalls mouth for making me his proselyte
Sir Ch Mr Bagenhall I perceive is rather of the religion of the ourt than of that of the Church of Rome
Mr Bag But what I mean by telling you I am a Catholic is this I have read the opinion of some of our famous Casuists that in some cases a private man may become his own avenger and challenge an enemy into the field
Sir Ch Bannes and Cajetan you mean one a Spaniard the other an Italian But the highest authority of your Church is full against them in this point The Council of Trent treats the combatants who fall as selfmurderers and denies them Christian burial It brands them and all those who by their presence countenance and abet this shocking and unchristian practice with perpetual infamy and condemns them to the loss of goods and estates And furthermore it deprives ipso jure all those sovereign princes who suffer such acts of violence to be perpetrated with impunity in the lands and cities which they hold of the Church of all the territories so held I need not add to this that Lewis the XIVths edict against duelling was the greatest glory of his reign And permit me to conclude with observing that the base arts of poisoning by the means of treacherous agents and the cowardly practice of assassination by bravoes hired on purpose to wreak a private revenge so frequent in Italy are natural branches of this old Gothic tree And yet as I have before hinted the barbarous northern nations had pleas to make in behalf of duelling from their polity which we have not from ours Christianity out of the question
The gentlemen said they would very seriously reflect upon all that had passed in this uncommon conversation
Sir Har Well but Sir Charles I must recur to my old note—Miss Byron—She must be mine And I hope you will not stand in my way
Sir Ch The Lady is her own mistress I shall be glad to see any and all of you gentlemen at St Jamess Square
Mr Bag One thing I believe it is proper to mention to Sir Charles Grandison You know Sir that I brought a young man to your house to take minutes of the conversation that passed between you and me there in apprehension of consequences In like apprehensions I prevailed upon Sir Hargrave—
Sir Har And now Bagenhall I could curse you for it The affair—confound it—that I meant to be recorded for my own justification has turned out to his honour Now am I down in black and white for a tame—fool—Is it not so
Mr Jord By no means If you think so Sir Hargrave you have but ill profited by Sir Charless noble sentiments
Sir Cha How is this Mr Bagenhall
Mr Bag I prevailed upon Sir Hargrave to have the same young man who is honest discreet and one of the swiftest shorthand writers of the age to take a faithful account of everthing that has passed and he is in that closet
Sir Ch I must say this is very extraordinary—But as I always speak what I think if I am not afraid of my own recollection I need not of any mans minutes
Mr Bag You need not in this case Sir Charles Nothing has passed as Sir Hargrave observes but what makes for your honour We that set him to work have more need to be afraid than you We
bid him be honest and not spare any of us We little thought matters would have ended so amicably
Mr Jord Thank God they have
Mr Mer A very happy ending I think
Sir Har Not except Miss Byron consents to wipe out these marks
Mr Bag Mr Cotes your task is over Pray step in with what you have done
The writer obeyed Mr Bagenhall asked If the minutes should be read Sir Hargrave swore No except as he said he had made a better figure in the debate Sir Charles told them he could not stay to hear them But that as they were written and as he had been allowed before a copy of what passed between him and Mr Bagenhall he should be glad to have one now and the rather as Sir Hargrave should have an instance after he had perused it of his readiness to condemn himself if he found he had been wanting either to his own character or to that of any man present
They consented that I should send Sir Charles the first fair copy Sir Charles then took his leave
The gentlemen all stood silent for several minutes when they returned from attending him to the door looking upon ane another as if each expected the other to speak But when they spoke it was all in praise of Sir Charles as the most modest the most polite the bravest and noblest of men Yet his maxims they said were confoundedly strange impracticable for such sorry dogs as them that was their phrase to practise
But Sir Hargrave seemed greatly disturbed and dejected He could not he said support himself under the consciousness of his own inferiority But what could I do said he The devil could not have made him fight Plague take him he beat me out of my play
And yet said Mr Merceda a tiltingbout seems no more to him than a game at pushpin
You would have thought so said Sir Hargrave had you observed with what a sleight and with what unconcernedness he pushed down my drawn sword with his hand tho he would grant me nothing and took me under the arm and led me in to you as tho he had taken me prisoner The devil has long continued he owed me a shame But who would have thought he had so much power over Sir Charles Grandison as to get him to pay it me But however I never will be easy till Miss Byron is Lady Pollexfen
I take leave honoured Sir to observe that a few things are noted in this copy which to avoid giving offence will not be in that I shall write for the gentlemen I was ordered to shew it to Mr Bagenhall before you had it but for this reason I shall excuse myself as having not remembered that command
This therefore, is a true copy of all that passed taken to the best of the ability of Sir give me leave to subscribe
Your very great admirer and most humble servant HENRY COTES
Continuation of Miss BYRONS Letter
WHAT a pacquet including the shorthand writers paper transcribed by my cousin Reeves shall I send you this time I will not swell it by reflections on that paper that would be endless but hasten to give you some account of the visits I mentioned
Sir Hargrave Pollexfen came without any notice about nine o clock
My heart sunk whan his chair stopt at the door and I was told who was in it
He was shewn into the great parlour My cousin Reevess soon attended him He made great apologies to them and so Mr Reeves said he ought for the disturbance he had given them
He laid all to Love—Prostituted name made to cover all acts of violence indiscretion folly in both sexes
I was in my own apartment Mrs Reeves came up to me She found me in terror and went down and told him so and begged that he would not insist upon seeing me
The whole intent of this visit he said was to beg me to forgive him It was probable that I should have the same emotion upon his first visit at any other time and he entreated the favour of seeing me He had a right he said to see me He was a sufferer for my sake They saw he told them that he was not the man he had been and as he had been denied and been brought to deny himself the satisfaction due to a gentleman from a man whom he had never offended he insisted on having the opportunity given him of seeing me and receiving my forgiveness as what would consolidate his reconciliation with Sir Charles Grandison
There was no resisting this plea
And down I trembled I can hardly say walked
Notwithstanding all my little reasoning with myself to behave with the dignity of an injured person yet the moment I saw him approach me at my entrance into the parlour I ran to Mr Reeves and caught hold of his arm with looks I doubt not of terror Had Sir Charles Grandison been there I suppose I should have run to him in the same manner
Everdear and adorable goodness were his words coming to me how sweet is this terror and how just
I have forgiven worse injuries pointing to his mouth I meant nothing but honour to you
Honour Sir Cruelty Sir Barbarity Sir How can you wish to see the creature whom you so wickedly treated
I appeal to yourself Madam if I offered the least indecency—For all I have suffered by my mad enterprize what but disgrace—
Disgrace Sir was your portion Sir half out of breath—What would you Sir—Why this visit What am I to do
I hardly knew what I said and still I held Mr Reevess arm
Forgive me Madam That is what you are to do Pardon me On my knee I beg your pardon And he dropt down on one knee
Kneel not to me Sir—Pray do not kneel—You bruised you hurt you terrified me Sir—And Lord bless me I was in danger of being your wife Sir
Was not this last part of my answer a very odd one But the memory of what I suffered at the time and of the narrow escape I had left me not the least presence of mind on his address to me kneeling
He arose In danger of being my wife Madam Only that the method I took was wrong Madam
Miss Byron you see is in terror Sir Hargrave—Sit down my love taking my hand and leading me to the fireside How you tremble my dear—You see Sir Hargrave the terror my cousin is in—You see—
I do—I do and am sorry for the occasion—We will all sit down Compose yourself dear Miss Byron—And holding up his clasped hands to me I beseech you forgive me
Well Sir I forgive you—I forgive you Sir
Were you not in so much disorder Madam—Were it to be seasonable now—I would tell you what I have further to beg I would—
Speak Sir now and never let me—
Suffer an interruption Madam—I am too apprehensive of that word never You must allow of my address I ask you not any favour but as I shall behave myself in future
Yes yes Sir your behaviour—But Sir were you to become the best man in the world this this is the last time that I ever—
Dear Miss Byron And then he pleaded his passion his fortune his sufferings—A wretch Yet I had nowandthen a little pity for his disfigured mouth and lip—His resolutions to be governed by me in every act of his life—The settlement of one half of his estate upon me—The odious wretch mentioned children my dear—younger children He ran on in such a manner as if he had been drawing up marriagearticles all the way hither
Upon my absolutely renouncing him he asked me If Sir Charles Grandison had not made an impression on my heart
What Lucy could make me inwardly fret at this question I could hardly have patience to reply I now see my dear that I have indeed a great deal of pride
Surely Sir Hargrave I am not accountable to you—
You are not Madam But I must insist upon an answer to this question If Sir Charles Grandison has made an application to you for favour I can have no hope
Sir Charles Grandison Sir is absolutely disinterested Sir Charles Grandison has made—There I stopt I could not help it
No application to my cousin I assure you Sir Hargrave said Mr Reeves He is the noblest of men Had he any such thoughts I dare say he would be under difficulties to break his mind lest such a
declaration should be thought to lessen the merit of his protection
A good thought of Mr Reeves And who knows my Lucy but there may be some foundation for it
Protection D—n it—But I am the easier upon this assurance Let me tell you Mr Reeves that had I not sound him to be a wonder of a man matters should not have ended as they seem at present to have done
But Sir Hargrave said Mrs Reeves permit me to say as I know Miss Byrons mind that there cannot be the least room to imagine that Miss Byron—
Dear Mrs Reeves forgive me But I cannot receive a denial from any other mouth than hers Is there no room for a sincere penitent to hope for mercy from a sweetness so angelic and who is absolutely disengaged
You have had mine already Sir Hargrave said I I am amazd that knowing my mind before your wicked insult upon me you should have any expectation of this kind after it
He again vowed his passion and such stuff
I think Lucy I never shall be able for the future to hear with patience any man talk of love of passion and such nonsense
Let me summarily add for I am tired of the subject that he said an hundred impertinent things sillier than any of those said by Mr Grandison in my praise indeed everything of this nature now appears silly to me—He insisted upon a preference to Mr Greville Mr Fenwick Mr Orme—He resolved not to despair as his sufferings for my sake had given him as he said he presumed to hope some merit in his own opinion if not in mine and as his forgiveness of the man who had injured him ought he thought to have some weight in his favour
He took leave of my cousins and me in a very respectful
manner I wish him no harm But I hope I shall never see him again
And now Lucy with the end of this very disagreeable visit I will conclude my letter and shall have another long one ready for the next post
March 3
I Had not recovered myself after Sir Hargraves visit when Lady L and Miss Grandison called as they said for a moment however this agreeable moment lasted two hours Miss Grandison the instant she saw me challenged me—Hey day Whats the matter with our Harriet Mrs Reeves And patting my neck Why these flutters child—Perturbations delightful or undelightful Harriet whether
I told her who had been here and but just left me and by the help of my cousins gave them the particulars of what had passed
They were greatly pleased and the more they said as their brother on seeing them uneasy had acquainted them that all matters between him and Sir Hargrave were accommodated but had not had opportunity to tell them more
Let me reckon with you Harriet said Miss Grandison taking my hand with a schooling air I am halfjealous of you Lady L has got the start of me in my brothers affections But she is my elder sister first come first served I can bear that but I will not be cut out by a younger sister
What is now to follow thought I and flutterd like a fool the more for her arch look as if she would read my heart in my eyes
Increased palpitation O the fool made it look as
if I took her jest for earnest What a situation am I in
Dear Charlotte said Lady L smiling you shall not thus perplex our sweet sister—My dear dont mind her Youll know her better in time
Be quiet Lady L I shall have it all out
All what out said I O Miss Grandison how you love to alarm
Well well Ill examine farther into these perturbations another time I have beat the bush before now for one hare and out have popt two But all I mean is a paper a letter my brother called it a paper was brought to him sealed up He rewarded the bringer but sent it directly away unopened that we found out to you Harriet Now child if I allow of his reserves I will not allow of yours Pray answer me fairly and truly What are the contents of that paper
They give the particulars of the conversation that passed in the alarming interview between Sir Charles—
And Sir Hargrave Thats my good girl You see Lady L how this young thief will steal away the affections of our brother from us both He has shewed us nothing of this But if you would not have me jealous Harriet be sure keep no one secret of your heart from me—
That relates merely to myself I think I will not
Then youll be a good girl And Ill give my love for you the reins without a pull back
Just then a servant came in with a card
Lady Ds compliments to Mrs Reeves and Miss Byron and if it would be agreeable she will wait on them presently for one quarter of an hour She is obliged to go out of town early in the morning
What shall I do now said I I was in a flutter not being fully recovered from that into which Sir Hargraves visit had thrown me
What now—What now said Miss Grandison Ah Harriet we shall find you out by degrees
By the way Lucy you are fond of plays and it is come into my head that to avoid all saysIs and saysshes I will henceforth in all Dialogues write names in the margin So fansy my dear that you are reading in one of your favourite volumes
Harriet Do you know Lady D
Miss Gr Very well But I did not know that you did Harriet
Lady L And I know she has a son and I know she wants him to marry
Harriet That I may keep no secrets from my two sisters my aunt Selby has written to me—
Miss Gr Lately
Harriet Very lately
Miss Gr O because you had not told me of that
Mrs Reeves And pray Ladies what is Lady Ds character
Lady L She is a very good woman She is a sensible and prudent woman
Miss Gr I am not very intimate with her But have seen her in two or three of my visits I have always thought her so—And pray Harriet dont you want to know what character my Lord bears
Harriet My Lord is nothing to me I have answered I have given my negative
Miss Gr The duce you have—Why the man has a good 12000 l a year
Harriet I dont care
Miss Gr What a duce ails the girl
Then humourously telling on her fingers—ORME one FENWICK two GREVILLE three FOWLER four—I want another finger but Ill take in my thumb—SIR HARGRAVE five—And now putting the forefinger of one hand on the thumb of the other
LORD D six—And none of them the man—Depend upon it girl pride will have a fall
What could she mean by that—Sir Charles Grandisons sisters I hope will not—But I believe she meant nothing
Have I pride Miss Grandison coldly and gravely as my cousin observed to me afterwards asked I
Miss Gr Have you pride—Yes that you have or you have worse
What could this mad Lady mean by this—And what could I mean For I had tears in my eyes I was very lowspirited at that moment
Lady L Well but Miss Byron shall we be impertinent if we stay to see the Lady—I have a great value for her She has been an admirable executrix and trustee for her son and was as good a wife I was just going but will stay to pay my compliments to her as she goes out of town tomorrow We can withdraw till you have had your talk
Miss Gr Does she come to persuade you Harriet to retract your refusal
Harriet I know not her business I wrote my mind to my aunt Selby But I believe my aunt could not have written and the countess received what she wrote by this time But do not go We can have no private talk
Miss Gr Well but now I will tell you without punishing your curiosity farther what Lord Ds character is He is as sober a man as most of the young n•bility His fortune is great In sense he neither abounds nor is wanting and that class of men take my •ord 〈◊〉 are the best qualified of all others to make good husbands 〈◊〉 women of superior talents They know j•st enough to induce th•m to admire in her what they have not in th•mse•ves If a woman has pru••nce enough to give •onseque•ce to such a one ••••ore 〈◊〉 and will beha••〈…〉
thought him her superior in understanding she will be able to make her own will a law to him by the way of I will Shall I—Or If you please my dear I will do—what I think fit But a fool and a wit are the extreme points and equally unmanageable And now tell me Harriet what can be your motive for refusing such a man as this
Harriet I wish my dear you would not talk to me of these men I am sick of them all—Sir Hargrave has cured me—
Miss Gr You fib my dear—But did you ever see Lord D
Harriet No indeed
Miss Gr No indeed—Why then you are a simpleton child What refuse a man an Earl too in the bloom of his years 12000 good pounds a year yet never have seen him—Your motives child Your motives—I wish you are not already—There she stopt
Harriet And I wish Miss Grandison with all my heart if that would tame you that you were in love over head and ears and could not help it
Miss Gr And wish you me that for spite or to please me—I am in love my dear and nothing keeps me in countenance but having company among the grave ones Dearly do I love to find girls out Why I found out Lady L before she would own a tittle of the matter So prim—
And how can you think so Charlotte Who I in love No indeed No man has a place in my heart—
Then I was resolvd to have her secret out I began with my roundabouts and my supposes—A leer—as thus—I was both vexd and pleased with her archness And then a suppose—Then came a blush—
Why Charlotte I cannot but say that if I were obliged to have the one man or the other—
Then came a sigh endeavoured in haste to be returned to the heart whence it came and when it could not find its way
back to be cut into threehalves as the Irishman said that is into two halfsighs and a hem and a Get you gone for an impertinent—As much as to say You have it—And when I found I had and she ownd it why then I put my mad head to her grave one and we had but one heart betwixt us
Lady L laughing—Out of breath Charlotte I hope
Miss Gr Not yet—How often have I kept watch and ward for her sometimes have I lent her my dressingroom for their lovemeetings Yet for the world she would not marry without her papas consent No but like the rest of us she would suffer her affections to be engaged without letting him know a syllable of the matter—Very true Lady L what signifies looking serious
Lady L Strange creature
Miss Gr Once or twice did I change dresses with her In short I was a perfect Abigail to her in the affair And let me tell you two sisters agreed to manage a loveaffair have advantages over even a Lady and her woman
Lady L Mad creature
Miss Gr All this I did for her without fee or reward only from the dear delight of promoting the good work and upon the christian principle of Do as you would be done by—Is not all this true Lady L Deny it if you can
Lady L And have you done Charlotte Ah my dear Miss Byron youll never do any thing with this girl except you hear all she has to say And if you have a secret tis better to let her know it at first Charlotte is a generous girl after all But sometimes as now a very impertinent one—
What could these ladies mean by this I wonder If they suspect me to love somebody surely this is not the way that two such Ladies in generosity should take when they think I have no engagement and
know that the doubt must lie on their brothers side whom with all their roundabouts as they call them they cannot fathom
I would give any-thing, methinks to know if Sir Charles was ever in love
Just then a rapping at the door made us suppose it was the Countess It was After compliments to Mrs Reeves and me she embraced Lady L very affectionately and Miss Grandison kindly asking the first after Lord Ls health and the other after her Brother He is the man of all men Miss Grandison said she that I want to see We shall be in town soon for a month or two and then you must make me known to one whom every body calls the best of men As here said she coming up again to me I have longed to be acquainted with one of the best of women
Lady L Miss Byron is indeed an excellent young woman We do ourselves the honour of calling her sister
Lady D What an encouragement is that to be good Even in this age bad as it is true merit will never want admirers And let me say that where beauty and goodness meet as here they adorn each other
Agreeable Lady D thought I My heart will not suggest a thought in favour of your son but I shall easily be in love with you The heart hardly deserves praise my Lucy that is not fond of it from the worthy
Her Ladyship took Lady L aside and said something to her Lady L answered with a No as I suppose To which Lady D replied I am glad of that adding I am not afraid of saying any-thing to a person of Lady Ls known prudence
Ah my Lucy She asked Lady L I dare say whether the acknowleged sisterhood extended to the brother as a brother or as—something else—And
by her chearful and condescending court to me afterwards and to Mrs Reeves was satisfied by Lady Ls answer I make no doubt that there is room for Lord Ds address for any thing on Sir Charless part
I will not be mean Lucy Greatly as I admire somebody these excellent sisters shall not find me entangled in an hopeless passion
Her Ladyship took my hand and led me to the window I was brought to town said she on an extraordinary occasion two days ago and must set out on my return in the morning I thought I would not miss the opportunity of paying my compliments to a young Lady of whom I had heard everybody speak with great commendation I make no doubt but your good aunt Selby has—There she stopt
My aunt has sent me up two of your Ladyships letters and copies of her answers
I am pleased with your frankness my dear It was that part of your character that engaged me Young women in these cases are generally either so affected so starched as if they thought there were something shameful in a treaty of this kind or they are so aukward that I have not patience with them You have all the modesty—Indeed my dear your goodness of heart shines out in every feature of your face
Your Ladyship does me high honour
I am pleased even with that acknowlegement The discretion of a person is often most seen in minutenesses Another would have made disqualifying speeches—But compliments made to the heart by one who is not accustomed to flatter such compliments I mean as it would be culpable for a person not to be able to verify should not be disclaimed To say truth my dear I did not intend to mention one word of the matter to you on this first visit I only wanted to see you and to converse with you a little that I might make report accordingly to my son who however knows not that I should pay my compliments
to you But the moment I saw you your aspect confirmed all that I had heard said in your favour and seeing you also so much caressed by two ladies of characters so establishd and no less pleased with what I observed of Mr and Mrs Reeves You are a family of good people I was resolved to be as frank as you are and as your aunt Selby has been—She is a good woman—
Indeed madam she is—
Accordingly I have singled you out in the face of everybody present—You will have the discretion to caution them on this subject till you have seen my son I am sure there can be no doubt on his side—and till you know whether you shall approve of our proposals or not And without hesitation I bespeak your good opinion of me till then I am sure my dear we shall be very happy in each other If you and my Lord are happy you and I must be so—But when the knot is tied I will be only your visitor and that at your own invitation I am thought to be a managing woman Managing women are not generally the best to live with You I understand are an excellent oeconomist A glorious character in this age for a young woman—Persons of the highest quality ought not to think themselves above it One persons methods may differ from anothers yet both may be equally good and reach the same end My son has found the benefit of my oeconomy Nevertheless his wife shall not have cause to think that where she means well I will prefer my methods to hers If ever I give advice it shall be only when you ask it And then if you do not take it I will not be angry but allow that having weighed the matter well you prefer your own judgment on the best convictions People who are to act for themselves should be always left to judge for themselves because they only are answerable for their own actions You blush my dear
I hope I dont oppress you I would not oppress a modesty so happily blended with frankness
I was affected with her goodness What an amiable frankness O that all husbands mothers were like your Ladyship said I—What numbers of happy daughtersinlaw would there then be that now are not so
Charming creature said she Proceed I am glad I dont oppress you with my prate
Oppress me madam—You delight me Talk of a bad world—I ought I am sure to think it a good one—In every matronly Lady I have met with a mother In many young Ladies as those before us sisters In their brother a protector If your Ladyship has not heard on what occasion I shall be ready to acquaint you with it
Sweet child Charming frankness I have seen I have heard enough of you for my present purpose—We will return to company—Such company as I find you in is not to be had at all times I will restore you to them
But madam declining her leading hand—
But what my dear
Have you not madam—But your Ladyship could not have received any letter from my aunt Selby—I wrote—
I have not my dear I could not as you say But I shall find a letter from her perhaps on my return You approve I hope of the proposal if you shall have no objection to my son
My aunt madam will let you know—
I will not have it otherwise than I wish it to be—Remember that I value you for the frankness you are praised for—A little female trifling to my son if you will in order to be assured of his value for you and men love not all halcyon courtships but none to me my love Ill assist you and keep your counsel in the first case if it be necessary He shall love you
above all the women on earth and convince you that he does or he shall not call you his—But no female trifling to his mother child We women should always understand one another.
Because I would not be thought to be an insincere creature a trifler I think I ought to mention to your Ladyship that it would be a great a very great part of my happiness to be deemed worthy of your friendship—without—
Without what—You do well perhaps to blush Without what
Without the relation—if you please
I was confounded with her goodness Lucy Here my dear is another superior character—I fancy her maidenname was Grandison
But I dont please So no more of this Let us join company And taking my hand with the goodness of a real mother yet her brow a little overclouded she made apologies to them for taking me aside and said she could trust to their prudence she was sure as they must needs guess at her view and therefore she offered not to put a limit to their conjectures since denial or evasion would but in this case as it generally did defeat its own end and strengthen what it aimed to weaken
Is there no obtaining such a mother thought I without marrying Lord D—And should I refuse to see him if an interview is desired especially when Lady L has seemed to encourage the countess to think that somebody has no thoughts—Indeed I dont desire that that somebody should—If—I dont know what I was going to add to that if But pray tell my grandmamma that I hope her Harriet will never give her cause to lament her being entangled in an hopeless passion No indeed
But my Lucy one silly question to you who have been a little entangled and more happily disentangled—I catch my self of late in saying him and he and
writing to you somebody and suchlike words instead of saying and writing boldly as I used to do Sir Charles and Sir Charles Grandison which would sound more respectfully and yet am sure I want not respect What is the meaning of this—Is it a sign—Ah my Lucy you said you would keep a sharp lookout and did I not say I would upon myself Surely I said truth Surely you will think so when you see such little silly things as these do not escape me But when you think me too trifling my dear dont expose me Dont read it out in the venerable circle That to some may appear very weak and silly which by others will be thought excusable because natural It would be wrong as I yet never did it to write separately to you And what have I in my heart were it to be laid open to all the world that I should be—afraid—I was going to write that I should be ashamed of But I think I am a little ashamed at times for all that—Ah Lucy dont add and so I ought
Lady D repeated her desire of being acquainted with Sir Charles She has no daughter So it was purely for the sake of his great character She heard she said that he was the politest of brothers That was always a good sign with her He gives you Miss Grandison I am told a great deal of his company
Miss Grandison said that their brother she believed was one of the busiest men in the kingdom who was not engaged in public affairs and yet the most of a familyman I endeavour said she to make home delightful to him I never break in upon him when he is in his study without leave Indeed I seldom ask it for when he is inclind to give me his company he sends his compliments to me and requests as a favour from me what I am always ready to consider as one done to me And I see he loves me He is not uneasy in my company He comes
for half an hour and stays an hour—But dont set me into talking of him for my heart always dilates when I enter into the agreeable subject and I know not where to stop
Lady L Charlotte is a happy girl
Miss Gr And Lady L is a happy woman for he loves her as well as he loves me Indeed he is so good as to say but I know it is to keep us from pulling caps that he knows not which he loves best We have different qualities he says and he admires in each what the other has not
Lady D But what are his employments What can he be so much busied in
M ss Gr A continual round of good offices He has a ward She has a large fortune The attention he pays to her affairs takes up a good deal of his time He is his own steward and then he has a variety of other engagements of which we ask him not one word yet long to know something about them—But this we are sure of that if he thinks any-thing will give us pleasure we shall hear of it if the contrary he is as secret as the night
Will nobody say one bad or one indifferent thing of this man Lucy There is no bearing these things O my dear what a Nobody is your poor Harriet
Lady D He is one of the handsomest men in England they tell me
Miss Gr Sisters are not judges They may be partial His benignity of heart makes his face shine Had I a lover but half as handsome as I think my brother I should make no objection to him on the account of person
Lady L But he is the genteelest of men—What think you sister Harriet
Harriet Sisters are not judges They may be partial
What meant Lady L to apply to me But I had been some time silent She could not mean any-thing:
And both sisters complimented me on recognizing the relation.
Lady D asked me how long I should stay in town
I said I believed not long I had leave for three months Those would be soon elapsed and as my friends were so good as to be pleased with my company I should rather choose to walk within than step out of my limits
The Countess with a nod of approbation said With good young people it will be always so And this is more praiseworthy in Miss Byron as she may do what she pleases
Then taking me a little aside—I hope my dear you meant nothing contrary to my wishes when you referred in so doubtful a manner to what you had written to your aunt You dont answer me This is a call upon your frankness Women when anything is depending on which they have set their hearts are impatient—Dont you know that—They love not suspense
It is painful to me Madam to decline a proposal that would give me a relation to so excellent a woman—But—
But what my dear—Let not maidenly affectation step in with its cold water You are above it Woman to woman daughter to mother—You are above it
Then turning to the Ladies and to my cousins—You dont know any of you We are by ourselves that Miss Byrons heart is engaged Miss Grandison let me apply to you Maiden Ladies open their hearts to one another. Know you whether Miss Byron has yet seen the man to whom she wishes to give her hand Her aunt Selby writes to me that she has not
Miss Gr We young women madam often know least of our own hearts We are almost as unwilling
to find out ourselves in certain cases as to be found out by others Speak sister Harriet answer for yourself
Was not this grievous Lucy And yet what ailed me that I could not speak without hesitation But this Ladys condescending goodness—Yet this wicked Sir Hargrave His attempt his cruel treatment of me has made me quite another creature than I was
My aunt Selby madam wrote the truth To say I wish not to marry for some time to come may sound like an affectation because I have ever honoured the state—But something has happend that has put me out of conceit with myself and with men too
Lady D With all men child—I will allow for a great many things in a weak mind that I will not in yours I have had an hint or two about an insult or I know not what from Sir Hargrave Pollexfen since I came to town for I have askd after you my dear But what is that but a confirmation of your merits What a disagreeable woman must she be whom but one man in the world could like
But excuse me Miss Byron I have said abundance of impertinent things I have gone further on this first visit than I intended You must thank for this that ingenuous and open countenance which confirms at first sight the character I had heard given by everybody who spoke of you I shall see perhaps what your aunt Selby to whom you refer writes when I get down I shall soon be in town as I said for the rest of the winter and then I will make myself mistress of your whole history from these ladies and from yourself And there shall end all my enquiries and I hope all my solicitudes on an article that is next my heart—Mean time adieu my dear—Adieu
She then courtesying to all round gave her hand to Mr Reeves who led her to her chair leaving us all full of her praises
Miss Gr looking archly I say nothing as to her
particular errand because I would not be too curious and because you ask me no questions Harriet
Lady L This must do Miss Byron Who would not▪ wish for such a mother
Harriet Is the mother to be the principal inducement in such an article as this
Miss Gr Why my dear do you pretend in such an age of petitsmaitres as this to live single till you meet with a man who deserves you—But Harriet you must voluntarily open your heart to me I have a good deal of curiosity and whenever you are disposed to gratify it will not withdraw my attention
Harriet I will read to you this moment if you please Ladies as to my sisters what Lady D wrote to my aunt Selby and what my aunt answered on the occasion
Miss Gr Thats my best Harriet I love to hear how and every thing about these sort of matters
Lady L These girls Mrs Reeves delight in lovesubjects There is a kind of enthusiasm in these matters that runs away with them
Miss Gr Say you so Lady L And pray had you ever any of this enthusiasm And if you had did matrimony cure you of it—See Harriet my sister has not been married many months yet how quietly she now talks of the enthusiasm of love to us maidens—Ah my dear Lady L women I see have their freemasonry as well as men Dont you think so Mrs Reeves A poor secret after all I believe on both sides whisperd the lively Lady but loud enough for everyone to hear what she said
Lady L called her a mad girl But let us be favourd said she to me with your communications
I pulled out the letters I read the two first paragraphs in my aunts letter to me entire for they propose the matter and nothing else
What follows said I is full of love and care and so forth But here is one paragraph more I can read to you
Miss Gr As much reserve as you please sister Harriet I am learning how to deal with you
Lady L Why that Charlotte No fear that you will tell us more than you have a mind we should know Regard not therefore this threatening Miss Byron
Harriet To own the truth I cannot read everything my aunt writes But the Countess of Ds proposals and what relates to that I will read if you please
Miss Gr What you will—Read what you will I find we are not at present so well acquainted as we shall be hereafter
What could Miss Grandison mean by that
I read the last paragraph but one in which my aunt proposes my coming down and that I will either encourage the countesss proposal or accept of Mr Orme ending with the earnest desire of my friends to have me married
I then gave into Miss Grandisons hand the countesss first Letter and she read it out
She gave it me back and thanked me Were all women said she capable of acting thus frankly the sex would leave affectation to the menmonkeys Remember Harriet that your openness of heart is one of the graces for which I principally admire you
Lady L O the rogue take care of her Miss Byron She tells you this to get out of you all your secrets
Miss Grandison may easily obtain her end madam She need only tell me what she best likes I should be and I must try to be that
Miss Gr Good girl And take this along with you that when you convince me that you will not hide I will convince you that I will not seek But what is next
I then gave into her hand the copy of my aunt Selbys answer
Miss Gr May I read it all
Harriet If you please The fondness of my aunt and the partiality of—
Miss Gr Away away—No affectation child
She read it out Both sisters praised the heart of the dear and thriceindulgent writer and called her their aunt Selby
I then gave Miss Grandison the Countesss second letter They were no less pleased with that than with the first
Miss Gr But now your opinion of the proposal child Will you trust us with that Have you a copy of what you wrote
Harriet I kept a copy only of what immediately respected the proposal and that because it was possible I might want to have recourse to it as my aunt might or might not write farther about it
I took it out of my pocketbook and gave it to her to read
Thank you child said she I should have no curiosity if I did not love you
She read it out It was the paragraph that begins with
You will upon the strength of what I have said c ending with Such is my meaning
—Luckily I had not transcribed the concluding sentence of that paragraph having been ashamed of the odd words Hope of your hope
Lady L But why should that be your meaning my dear
Harriet I added I remember that I was pained by the teazings of these men one after another that I never took delight in their airy adulation and was now the more pained because of the vile attempt of Sir Hargrave which had given me a surfeit of the sex
Miss Gr A temporary surfeit It is over I hope by this time But my dear—And yet as I owe to
your generosity the communication I would not take occasion from it to teaze you—
Harriet Miss Grandison will oblige me say what she pleases
Miss Gr As you intend to marry—As your friends are very desirous that you should—As Lady D is an excellent woman—As her son is as men go a tolerable man—As he is a peer of the realm which is something in the scale tho it is not of weight singly considerd—As his estate is very considerable—As you may have your own terms—As you like not any one of your numerous admirers—All these Ass considered why why in the name of goodness should you give so flat a denial Yet have not seen the gentleman and therefore can have no dislikes either to his sense or person I wish my dear you would give such a reason for your denial a denial so strongly expressed as one would imagine such a woman as the countess of D would be satisfied with from such a one as Miss Byron
Lady L Perhaps now that Miss Byron has seen what a lady the countess of D is—
Miss Gr And now that she has overcome the temporary surfeit
Lady L She will change her mind
Are you not my dear aunt Selby are you not my Lucy distressed for me at this place I was at the time greatly so for myself
Harriet My mind has been greatly disturbed by Sir Hargraves violence and by apprehensions of fatal mischiefs that might too probably have followed the generous protection given me I was teazed before by good men—Mr Orme and Sir Rowland Meredith in behalf of his nephew and by men not so good Mr Greville and Mr Fenwick And when I had hoped to have a little respite a little leisure to look about me and to collect my almost dissipated spirits to have this new proposal made to my friends and to me and by a lady so worthy wonder not Ladies if I am unable on a
sudden to give such reasons for having refused to listen to it as you require altho at the same time I find not in my heart the least inclination to encourage it
Miss Gr You have had your difficulties of late my Harriet to contend with And those you must look upon as a tax to be paid by a merit so conspicuous Even in this slighter case as you love to oblige I can pity you for the situation you are likely to be in betwixt the refused son and the deserving mother But when you consider that the plagues of the discreet proceed from other people those of the indiscreet from themselves you will sit down with a just compliment to yourself and be content You see I can be grave now and then child
Harriet May I deserve to be called prudent and discreet On that condition I am willing to incur the penalty
Lady L Come come that is out of the question my dear So you are contented of course or in the way to be so
The Ladies took their leave and seemed pleased with their visit
It is now my dear friends somehow or other become necessary I think to let you minutely into my situation that you may advise caution instruct me—For I protest I am in a sort of wilderness—Pray my Lucy tell me—But it cannot be from Love So I dont care—Yet to lie under such a weight of obligation and to find myself so much surpassed by these ladies—Yet it is not from Envy surely That is a very bad passion I hope my bosom has not a place in it for such a mean selftormentor Can it be from Pride Pride is a vice that always produces mortification And proud you all made me of your favour—Yet I thought it was grateful to be proud of it
I wish I were with you Lucy I should ask you abundance of questions and repose my anxious heart on your faithful bosom and at the same time from
your answers arm it against too great a sensibility before it was too late But pray dont I remember that you said you found sighing a relief to you on a certain occasion I am serious my dear That there was a sort of youknownotwhat of pleasure in sighing Yet that it was involuntary—Did you not say that you were ready to quarrel with yourself you knew not why—And pray had you not a fretting▪ gnawing pain in your stomach that made you I cant tell how to describe it yet were humble meek as if looking out for pity from every body and ready to pity everybody—Were you not attentive to stories of people young women especially labouring under doubts and difficulties—Was not your humanity raised your selfconsequence lowerd But did you not think suspense the greatest of all torments—I think my dear you lived without eating or drinking yet lookd not pining but fresh—Pure Love is perhaps to lovers as the manna of heaven was to the Israelites But yet Israelitelike we may be uneasy and murmur at the toomuch of it—Your rest—I remember it was broken In your sleep you seemed to be disturbed You were continually rollingdown mountains or tumbling from precipices—or were borne down by tempests carried away with sudden inundations or sinking in deep waters or flying from fires thieves robbers—
How apt are we to recollect or to try to recollect when we are apprehensive that a case may possibly be our own all those circumstances of which while anothers however dear that other might be to us we had not any clear or adequate ideas—But I know that such of these as I recollect not from you must be owing to the danger to the terror I was in from the violence of Sir Hargrave Pollexfen Often and often do I dream over again what I suffered from him I am now imploring mercy from him and meet with nothing but upbraidings and menaces He is
now stopping my mouth with his handkerchief His horrible clergyman if a clergyman he was is reading the service quite through And I am contending against the legality of the asserted marriage At other times I have escaped and he is pursuing me He gains upon my flying feet and I wake myself with endeavouring in vain to cry out for help
But when fancy is more propitious to me then comes my rescuer my deliverer And he is sometimes a mighty prince dreams then make me a perfect romancer and I am a damsel in distress The milkwhite palfrey once came in All the Marvellous takes place; and lyons and tygers are slain and armies routed by the puissance of his single arm
Now do not these resveries convince you that I owe all my uneasiness to what I suffered from Sir Hargraves barbarity I think I must take my aunts advice leave London and then I shall better find out whether as all my friends suspect and as to be ingenuous I myself now begin sometimes to fear a passion stronger than gratitude has not taken hold of my heart Of this I am sure My reasoning faculties are weakend Miss Grandison says that in my illness at Colnebrooke I was dilirious and that the doctor they called in was afraid of my head And should I suffer myself to be entangled in an hopeless passion there will want no further proof that my intellects have sufferd
Adieu my Lucy What a letter have I written The conclusion of it I doubt will of itself, be a sufficient evidence of the weakness I have mentioned both of head and heart of
Your HARRIET
Sat Mar 4
THIS morning Sir Hargrave Pollexfen made Mr Reeves a visit He said it was to him but I was unluckily below and forced to hear all he had to say or to appear unpolite
He proposed visiting my grandmamma and aunt Selby in order to implore their forgiveness But Mr Reeves diverted him from thinking of that
He had not sought me he said at Lady Betty Williamss but from his desire on the character he had heard of me to pay his addresses to me in preference to every other woman He had laid out for several opportunities to get into my company before he heard I was to dine there Particularly he once had resolved to pay a visit in form to my uncle Selby in Northamptonshire and had got all his equipage in readiness to set out but heard that I was come to town with Mr and Mrs Reeves He actually then set out he said for Peterborough with intent to propose the affair to my godfather Deane But found that he was gone to Cambridge And then being resolved to try his fate with me he came to town and hardly questioned succeeding when he understood that my friends left me to my own choice and knowing that he could offer such proposals as none of the gentlemen who had made pretensions to be were able to make His intentions therefore were not sudden and such as arose upon what he saw of me at Lady Betty Williamss tho the part I supported in the conversation there precipitated his declaration
He was very unhappy he said to have so mortally disobliged me and repeated all his former pleas his
love Rough love I am sure compassion sufferings and I cannot tell what insisting that he had forgiven much greater injuries as was but too apparent
I told him that I had sufferd more than he could have done tho his hurt was more visible than mine That nevertheless I forgave him as no bad consequences had followed between him and my protector—Protector mutterd he—But that he knew my mind before he made that barbarous attempt And I besought him never more to think of me and he must excuse me to say that this must be the very last time I ever would see him
A great deal was said on both sides my cousins remaining attentively silent all the time And at last he insisted that I would declare that I never would be the wife either of Mr Greville or Mr Fenwick Assuring me that the rash step he had taken to make me his was owing principally to his apprehension that Mr Greville was more likely to succeed with me than any other man
I owed him I told him no such declaration But Mr Reeves to get rid of his importunity gave it as his opinion that there was no ground for his apprehensions that I would give my hand to either and I did not contradict him
Mr Bagenhall and Mr Jordan before I could get away from this importunate man came to enquire for him He then owned that they came in hope of seeing me and besought me to favour him and them for one quarter of an hour only I was resolved to withdraw But at Sir Hargraves command as impertinently given as officiously obeyed Mr Reevess servant led them his master indeed not contradicting into the parlour where we were
The two strangers behaved with great respect They came with a resolution to be pleased with me and would not suffer themselves to be disappointed But never did men run praises higher than both these
gentlemen gave to Sir Charles Grandison And indeed the subject made me easier in their company than I should otherwise have been
It is not possible I believe for the vainest mind to hear itself prosusely praised without some pain But it is surely one of the sweetest pleasures in the world to hear a whole company join in applauding the absent person who stands high in our opinion and especially if he be one to whose unexceptionable goodness we owe and are not ashamed to own obligation
What further pleased me was to hear Mr Bagenhall declare which he did in a very serious manner that Sir Charles Grandisons great behaviour as he justly called it had made such impressions not only upon him but upon Mr Merceda that they were both determined to turn over a new leaf was his phrase and to live very different lives from what they had lived tho they were far they blessed God from being before the worst of men
These gentlemen with Mr Merceda and Sir Hargrave are to dine with Sir Charles to day They both mentioned it with great pleasure But Sir Hargrave did not seem so well pleased and doubted of his being able to persuade himself to go The invitation was given at Mr Jordans motion who took hold of an indirect invitation of Sir Charless Mr Jordan declaring that he was resolved not to let slip any opportunity of improving an acquaintance with so extraordinary a man
The gentlemen took a very respectful leave Sir Hargrave shewed so much dejection and is so really mortified with the damage done to a face that he used to take pleasure to see reflected in the glass never once looking into either of th•se in the parlour he was in all the time he staid that I could once or twice have been concerned for him had I not struggled to withheld my pity
He talkd of soon leaving town and retiring to one
of his countryseats or of going abroad for a year or two if he must have no hopes—Hopes a wretch
When I seriously reflect I dont know whether his mortification is not the happiest thing that could have befallen him It wants only to be attended with patience—He is not now an ugly man in his person His estate will always give him consequence He will now think the better of others and the worse of himself He may much worse and not want as much vanity as comes to his share
But say you my uncle as I fansy you do that I also may spare some of my vanity and not be the worse girl—Ah no—I am now very sensible of my own defects I am poor low silly weak—Was I ever insolent Was I ever saucy Was I ever—O my uncle hide my faults I am mortified Let me not reproach myself with having deserved mortification If I did I knew it not I intended not to be saucy vain insolent—And if I was so lay it to a flow of health and good spirits to time of life young gay and priding myself in everyones love yet most in the love in the fond indulgence of all you my good friends And then you will have some of my faults to lay at your own doors nor will you even you my uncle be clear of reproach because your correction was always mingled with so much praise that I thought you were but at play with your niece and that you levelled your blame more at the Sex than at your Harriet
BUT what have I written against myself I believe I am not such a low silly weak creature as I had thought myself For just as I had laid down my pen with a pensive air and to look into the state of my own heart in order either to lighten or to confirm the self-blame I had so glibly written down Lady L in her chair made us a visit She came up directly to me I am come to dine with your cousins and you
Miss Byron said she Shall I be welcome But dont answer me I know I shall
Mrs Reeves enterd and acknowledged the favour
Sir Hargrave Pollexfen and some of his brethren are to dine with my brother said my Lady and I not being obliged to do the honours of the table with my Lords consent made my escape I cannot endure the wretch who could make such a vile attempt upon you and who might have murderd my brother—Come will you let me see what you are writeing You can forgive Charlottes freedom Will you excuse her sisters
I cannot shew your Ladyship all I have written but I will read you some passages of the long letter before me
I told her my subject and read to her such as I thought I could read She raved at Sir Hargrave Wonderd he had the confidence to approach me especially with hope She praisd me Yet said to my cousin Reeves that he ought to have been denied the house and the rather as I was myself very unwilling to see him
I own I thought so too Both my cousins are too goodnaturd
We had a great deal of talk about the duel that was to happily prevented Lady L gave us an account of the unhappy one which her father fought and to the issue of which they owed the loss of the best of mothers And at and after dinner she piously expatiated on the excellencies of that mother and demonstrated what I have often thought of great consequence my grandmammas and aunt Selbys examples before me affording the noblest proofs that the conduct of women in their families is of high importance and that they need not to look out of them so often as they do to employ themselves and that not only in the most useful but in the most delightful manner
My Lord L having broke from the company at Sir Charless did us the honour to drink tea with us Everything he said passed very agreeably among the gentlemen he had left and it was his opinion that his brothers noble behaviour and the conversation that passed at table and in which he left him and them engaged would make more than one convert among them
He told Lady L that Sir Charles was to set out on Monday for Canterbury For Canterbury Lucy and that he should take it for a favour if she would give him her company for a few days to Colnebrooke Their house in Brookstreet he said would be ready to receive them in a weeks time It wanted nothing but a thorough airing And if said he you could prevail upon Miss Grandison to be with us till her brother returns and both sisters could induce Miss Byron to make a fourth we shall be said he the happiest party in the world and perhaps may get Sir Charles among us on his return for a day or two I bowed
I must tell you my Lord that Charlotte and I thought to offer our attendance on Miss Byron to some of the public entertainments But your Lordships pleasure shall determine me and if we could be so happy as to have Miss Byron for our guest I am sure of my sister and it would be my preferable wish Mr Reeves Mrs Reeves will you spare Miss Byron to me
I looked as if for their leave They gave a smiling assent
My Lord and Lady both expressed themselves overjoyd
This Canterbury ran in my head It was brought in naturally enough and Mrs Reeves wonderd that Sir Charles kept secret the motive of his journeying thither backward and forward The godlike man said Mr Reeves in the words of a great poet has nothing to conceal For my part replied my Lord I conclude
the motive is rather a painful than a pleasurable one Charlotte accuses her brother of reserves I never found him reserved But he loves to play with her curiosity and amuse her For she is very curious yet has her secret—Has she not Lady L
Indeed she has replied my Lady—Perhaps you my dear will be intrusted with it when you are at Colnebrooke together
Pray madam said I to Lady L may I ask—Does Sir Charles give Lord G his interest in his addresses to Miss Grandison
Lady L My brother wishes Charlotte married He is a great friend to the married state especially with regard to our sex
Mr Reeves could not miss this opportunity It is a wonder said he that Sir Charles himself does not think of marriage
Lady L That is a string that we but just touch sometimes and away There is a Lady—
There she stopt Had she looked with earnestness at me I had been undone I believe
☞ Let me ask you Lucy You have passed the fiery ordeal—Did you ever find in yourself a kind of impatience next to petulance and in your heart only for fear of exposing yourself that you were ready to quarrel or to be short with anybody that came upon you of a sudden yet have no business of consequence to engage either your fingers or your thoughts—Of late my dear I have been very often troubled with this odd sensation But my whole temper is altering I believe I shall grow peevish perverse and gloomy I doubt O this wicked Sir Hargrave☜
Pray my dear attend for the future to those indexes or hands and forbear to read out the passages inclosed by them if you can—But if you come upon them before you are aware why then read on—with all my heart
But to return to Lady Ls alarming hint—
There is a Lady
—
Mrs Reeves That Sir Charles loves I suppose
Lady L That loves Sir Charles and she has—But for the Ladys sake—Yet if it be allowable for any woman to be in love with any man upon an uncertainty of return it is for one that is in love with my brother
Harriet And cannot Sir Charles make a return—Poor Lady
My cousin afterwards told me that my upperlip then quiverd like an aspen leaf I did not know that it did I felt not a trembling at my heart and when the lip trembles the heart I think should be affected There used to be a close connexion between mine
Mr Reeves Miss Grandison told me that if her brother married half a score women would break their hearts
Lady L The words half a score run as glibly off the tongue as half a dozen But I believe let the envious the censorious malign our sex and charge us with the love of rakes and libertines as they will if all men were like my brother there would not be a single woman and hardly a bad one in the kingdom What say you my Lord
Lord L My dear life you know I am all attention whenever you or my sister Charlotte make our brother the subject of your panegyric If Miss Byron you do not choose to hear so much said of this best of men you will I doubt have an ill time of it in the favour you will do us at Colnebrooke
Harriet My Lord I should be very ungrateful if I did not hear with pleasure everything that shall be said in praise of Sir Charles Grandison
Lord L When I am out of conceit with men as too often they give me cause to be I think of my brother and forgive them
I wonder Lucy what everybody means by praising
Sir Charles Grandison so much in my hearing—Shall I fly from town to avoid hearing his praises—Yes say you—But whither It must not be to Selbyhouse Well then I may as well go to Colnebrooke I shall there be informed of the reasons for all those general applauses for hitherto I know nothing of his history to what they tell me I am to know
These general praises carried us away from a subject that I thought we should once have made more of—That one Lady—And I wanted to know but had no opportunity to inform myself whether that Ladys relations or herself live at Canterbury On Monday it seems Sir Charles sets out for that Canterbury
Our noble guests would not stay supper They had not been gone two hours before I had an humourous letter from Miss Grandison I inclose it
Sat night 10 oclock
LORD and Lady L rejoice me by telling me you will accompany them to Colnebrooke on Monday—Thats my good girl—I will go with them for the sake of your company Yet I had halfdenied them And why Because if you must know—But hush—and catch a mouse—Because a certain Impertinent proposes a visit there and I had thoughts to take the opportunity of being alone in town to rid my hands for ever if possible of another silly fellow of whom for one month a great while ago I thought tolerably
You and I Harriet will open to each other all our hearts There is one chamber that has two beds in it We will have that Our dressingroom shall be common to both Lady L is a morningkiller She always loved her bed So we shall have charming opportunities for tête à tête conversation
I will drink tea with you tomorrow—No but I wont You and your cousins shall drink tea with us—Do you hear I wont be denied And then well settle how it shall be Ill tell you what my dear—
If on my brothers return from Canterbury he comes to us at Colnebrooke we will call him to account for all his reserves Here is this affair of Pollexfens How might it have ended I tremble to think of it—Youll stand by me Wont you I cannot make Lord and Lady L of my party or I would have rebelled before now—But you and I my dear I warrant you—Yet you are so grave Were you always such a grave such a wise such a very wise girl Harriet Was your grandfather a very sententious man Was his name Solomon Shirley
I love wisdom as well as anybody But wisdom out of its place is a prude my dear How I ramble—Youll come tomorrow—I designed but two lines Adieu Believe me
Ever Yours C G
I hope Lucy I was not wrong in so readily consenting to go to Colnebrooke My own inclination indeed was in my compliance and I begin to mistrust myself whereever that strongly leads Yet why should I undervalue myself I know my heart to be good In that I will not yield to anybody I have no littleness in my mind Naturally I have not Guard me O my friends by your prayers that no littleness that is not natural to my heart may depreciate it and make me unworthy of the love you have ever shewn to
Your HARRIET BYRON
Sunday Mar 5
MY cousins will have it that I am far gone in a certain passion They speak quite out and with a man that has given no encouragement—Encouragement
how meanly sounds that word But I hope they are mistaken I cannot say but one may prefer if one were to have ones choice—one man to another—But that is a different thing from being run away with by so vehement a folly as they are ready to ascribe to me
Well but under this notion they are solicitous that I should not neglect any opportunity What a poor creature do they think me of ingratiating myself with the sisters And therefore I must by all means accept of Miss Grandisons invitation to tea
I insisted however that they should accompany me as they likewise were invited And they obliged me—I may say themselves too for they admire the brother and sisters as much as I do
We found together Lord and Lady L Miss Grandison Miss Jervois Dr Bartlett and Mr Grandison Sir Charles was in his drawingroom adjoining to the study a lady with him they said What business had I to wish to know whether it was an elderly or a young lady But I must tell you all my follies When we alighted a very genteel chair made way for our coach
Mr Grandison made up to me and as heretofore said very silly things but with an air as if he were accustomed to say such and to have them received as gallant things by those to whom he addressed them How painful is it to a mind not quite at ease to be obliged to be civil when the ear is invaded by contemptible speeches from a man who must think as highly of himself for uttering them as meanly of the understanding of the person he is speaking to
Miss Grandison saw me a little uneasy and came up to us Mr Grandison said she I thought you had known Miss Byrons character by this time She is something more than a pretty woman She has a soul Sir The man who makes a compliment to her on her beauty depreciates her understanding
She then led me to her seat and sat down next me
Mr Grandison was in the midst of a fine speech and was not well pleased He sat down threw one leg over the knee of the other hemmd three or four times took out his snuffbox tapped it let the snuff drop thro his singers then broke the lumps then shut it and twirled it round with the forefinger of his righthand as he held it between the thumb and forefinger of the other and was quite like a sullen boy Yet after a while tried to recover himself by forcing a laugh at a slight thing or two said in company that was not intended to raise one
I think my dear I could have allowed a little more for him had not his name been Grandison
We soon adjusted everything for the little journey Mr Grandison told Miss Grandison that if she would make him amends for her treatment of him just now she should put Lord L upon inviting him Lord and Lady L joined to do so But Miss Grandison would not admit of his going and I was glad of it
But not to affront you cousin said she Miss Byron and I want to have a good deal of particular conversation So shall not be able to spare you an hour of our company at Colnebrooke But one thing Sir My brother sets out for Canterbury tomorrow Tell him that we wont be troubled with your company Ask him if he will
Not in those words neither cousin Charlotte But I will offer my attendance and if he accepts of it I shall be half as happy as if I went to Colnebrooke and only half bowing to me
Why now you are a good docible kind of man I want to hear what will be my brothers answer For we know not one syllable nor can guess at his business at Canterbury
The teaequipage being brought in we heard Sir Charless voice complimenting a lady to her chair and who pleaded engagement for declining to drink
tea with his sister And then he enterd the parlour to us He addressed my cousins who were next him with his usual politeness He then came to me How does my good Miss Byron Not discomposed I hope by your yesterdays visitors They are all of them in love with you But you must have been pained—I was pained for you when I heard they had visited you But extraordinary merit has some forfeitures to pay
I am sure then thought I you must have a great many Everytime I see him I think he rises upon me in the gracefulness of his behaviour
I have one agreeable piece of news to tell you madam Sir Hargrave will go abroad for a twelvemonth He says he cannot be in the same kingdom with you and not see you He hopes therefore to lessen the torment by flying from the temptation Mr Bagenhall and Mr Merceda will go with him
Then whispering me he said from an hint in the letter of the penitent Wilson that Mr Bagenhalls circumstances are not happy and that he is too much in the power of Sir Hargrave I have prevailed on the latter in consideration of the others accompanying him abroad to make him easy And would you believe it and can you forgive me—I have brought Sir Hargrave to give Wilson the promised 100 l To induce him to do this Merceda influenced by the arguments I urged founded on the unhappy fellows confessions in that letter offerd 50 l more for his past services to himself And both as a proof of the sincerity of their promised reformation Wilson shall not have the money but upon his marrying the girl to whom he is contracted And on my return from a little excursion I am making to Canterbury I shall put all in a train And now let me ask you once more can you forgive me for rewarding as you may think it a base servant
O Sir how can I answer you—You told me at
Colnebrooke that we were to endeavour to bring good out of the evil from which you had deliverd me This indeed is making your words true in a very extensive sense To make your enemies your friends to put wicked men into a way of reformation and to make it a bad mans interest to be good—Forgive you Sir—From what I remember of that poor wretchs letter I was obliged to him myself Tho vile he was less vile than he might have been The young woman behaved with tenderness to me at Paddington Let me therefore add 50 l to Mr Mercedas 50 l as an earnest that I can follow a noble example
You charm me madam said he I am not disappointed in my opinion of you—The fellow if he give hope of real penitence shall not want the fourth 50 l—It would be too good in you so great a sufferer as you were by his wickedness to give it But it will become a man to do it who has not been injured by him and who was the occasion of his losing the favour of his employer and the rather as he was an adviser to his fellowagents to fly and not to fire at my servants who might have sufferd from a sturdier villain He has promised repentance and reformation This small sum will give me a kind of right to enforce the performance—But no more of this just now
Miss Jervois just then looking as if she would be glad to speak with her guardian he arose and taking her hand led her to the window She was in a supplicating attitude as if asking a favour He seemed to be all kindness and affection to her—Happy girl—Miss Grandison who had heard enough of what he said of Wilson to be affected whisperd me Did I not tell you Harriet that my brother was continually employed in doing good He has invention forecast and contrivance But you see how those qualities are all employed
O Miss Grandison said I I am such a nothing
—I cannot as Sir Hargrave says bear my own littleness
Be quiet said she—You are an exceeding good girl But you have a monstrous deal of pride Early I saw that You are not half so good as the famous Greek who losing an election for which he stood to be one of 300 only thankd the gods that there were in Athens I think it was 300 better men than himself Will you not have honour enough if it can be said that next to Sir Charles Grandison you are the best creature in the world
Sir Charles led his ward to a seat and sat down by us
Cousin Charlotte said Mr Grandison you remember your treatment of me for addressing Miss Byron in an open and I thought a very polite manner Pray wheres your impartiality Sir Charles has been shut up in his study with a Lady who would not be seen by anybody else—But Sir Charles may do anything
I am afraid it is too late cousin said Miss Grandison Else it would be worth your while to try for a reputation
Has Charlotte Mr Grandison said Sir Charles used you ill Ladies will do as they please with you gallant men They look upon you as their own and you wish them to do so You must bear the inconvenience for the sake of the convenience
Well but Sir Charles I am refused to be of the Colnebrooke party—Absolutely refused Will you accept of my company Shall I attend you to Canterbury
Are you in earnest cousin Grandison Will you oblige me with your company
With all my heart and soul Sir Charles
With all mine I accept your kind offer
This agreeably surprised his sisters as well as me But why then so secret so reserved to them
Mr Grandison immediately went out to give orders to his servant for the journey
A goodnaturd man said Sir Charles—Charlotte you are sometimes too quick upon him—Are you not
Too quick upon him—No no I have hopes of him for he can be ashamd That was not always the case with him Between your gentleness and my quickness we shall make something of him in time
Mr Grandison immediately returnd and we lost something that Sir Charles was going to reply But by some words he dropt the purport was to blame his sister for not sparing Mr Grandison before company
I imagine Sir Charles that if you take Mr Grandison with you one may venture to ask a question Whether you go to any family at Canterbury that we have heard of—It is to do good I am sure
Your eyes have askd me that question several times Charlotte I aim not at making secrets of any thing I do I need not on this occasion Yet you Charlotte have your secrets
He lookd grave
Have I my secrets Sir Charles—Pray what do you mean
She colourd and seemd sensibly touchd
Too much emotion Charlotte is a kind of confession Take care Then turning it off with a smile—See Mr Grandison I am revenging your cause Alarming spirits love not to be alarmed
So Harriet whispering to me I am silenced Had I told you all my heart I should half have suspected you How he has flutterd me—Lady L this is owing to you whispering her behind my chair
I know nothing therefore could tell nothing Conscience conscience Charlotte rewhisperd Lady L
She sat still and was silent for a little while Lord and Lady L smiling and seeming to enjoy her agreeable confusion At last—But Sir Charles you always
had secrets You got out of me two or three of mine without exchange—You—
Dont be uneasy my Charlotte I expected a prompt not a deliberate reply My life is a various life Some things I had better not have known myself See Charlotte if you are serious you will make me so I have not any motives of action I hope that are either capricious or conceited Surely Lucy he cannot have seen what I wrote to you about his reserves I thought he lookd at me—Only this one hint my sister Whenever you condescend to consult me let me have everything before me that shall be necessary to enable me to form a judgment—But why so grave Charlotte Impute all I have said as a revenge of Mr Grandisons cause in gratitude for his obliging offer of accompanying me to Canterbury
Cannot you reward him Sir Charles but by punishing me
A good question Charlotte But do you take what I have said in that light
I have done for the present Sir But I hope when you return we shall come to an eclaircissement
Needs it one—Will not better and more interesting subjects have taken place by that time—And he lookd at her with an eye of particular meaning
Now is he beginning to wind about me whisperd she to me as I told you at Colnebrooke Were he and I alone hed have me before I knew where I was Had he been a wicked man he would have been a very wicked one
She was visibly uneasy but was afraid to say any more on the subject
Lady L whisperd—Ah Charlotte you are taken in your own toils You had better let me into your secret I would bring you off if I could
Be quiet Lady L
We then talkd of the time in the morning of our setting out for Colnebrooke I thought I read Miss
Emilys mind in her eyes—Shall we not have the pleasure of Miss Jervoiss company said I
She bowed to me and smiled
The very thing that Emily was petitioning to me for said Sir Charles And I wishd ladies to have the motion come from one of you
Emily shall go with us I think said Miss Grandison
Thank you madam said she I will take care not to break in upon you impertinently
What dost thou too think we have secrets child
Consent with your usual grace Charlotte Are you not too easily affected Sir Charles spoke this smiling Every thing you say Sir Charles affects me
I ought then to be very careful of what I say If I have given my sister pain I beg her to forgive me
I am afraid to go on whisperd she to me Were he and I only together my heart would be in his hand in a moment
I have only this to observe Miss Grandison whisperd I—When you are too hard upon me I know to whom to apply for revenge
Such another word Harriet and Ill blow you up
What could she mean by that—Blow me up I have lockd up my aunts last lettets where so much is said about entangling and Inclination and soforth When any-thing occurs that we care not to own I see by Miss Grandison that it is easy for the slightest hint to alarm us
But Sir Charles to say so seriously as he did
That his life was a various life and that he had better not have known some things himself
affects me not a litte What can a man of his prudence have had to disturb him But my favourite author says
Yet with a sigh oer all mankind I grant
In this our day of proof our land of hope
The good man has his clouds that intervene
Clouds that obscure his sublunary day
But never conquer Evn the best must own
Patience and resignation are the pillars
Of human peace on earth—
Nightthoughts
But so young a man so prudent as I said and so generally beloved But that he is so may be the occasion—Some lady I doubt—What sad people are we women at this rate Yet some women may have the worst of it What are your thoughts on all these appearances Lucy
Miss Grandison as I said is uneasy These are the words that disturb her
Only this one hint my sister Whenever you condescend to consult me let me have everything before me that shall be necessary to enable me to form a judgment
—And so they would me in her case
But it seems plain from Sir Charless hint that he keeps to himself as Miss Grandison once indeed said in his favour those intelligences which would disturb her and his other friends to know The secret which he would have made of the wicked challenge his selfinvited breakfasting with Sir Hargrave are proofs among others of this And if this be his considerate motive what a forward what a censorious creature have I been on so many occasions to blame him for his reserves and particularly for his Canterbury excursions I think I will be cautious for the future how I take upon me to censure those actions which in such a man I cannot account for
Miss Grandison on her brothers withdrawing with Dr Bartlett said Well now that my cousin Grandison will accompany my brother to Canterbury we shall have that secret out in course
Lady L It seems to be your fault Charlotte that we have not had it before
Miss Gr Be quiet Lady L
Mr Gr Perhaps not Youll find I can keep a secret cousin especially if I am desired to do so
Miss Gr I shall wonder at that
Mr Gr Why so
Miss Gr Shall I give it you in plain english
Mr Gr You dont use to mince it
Miss Gr It would be strange cousin if a man should make a secret of an innocent piece of intelligence who has told stories of himself and gloried in them that he ought if true to have been hanged for—You would have it
Mr Gr I knew I must have the plain english whether I askd for it or not But give me leave to say cousin Charlotte that you made not so superior a figure just now
Miss Gr True Mr Grandison There is but one man in the world of whom I stand in awe
Mr Gr I believe it and hope you never design to marry for that reason
Miss Gr What a wretch is my cousin Must a woman stand in awe of her husband Whether Sir is marriage a state of servitude or of freedom to a woman
Mr Gr Of freedom as women generally make it—Of servitude if they know their duty—Pardon me Ladies
Miss Gr Dont pardon him I suppose Sir it is owing to your consciousness that you have only the will and not the spirit to awe a woman of sense, that you are a single man at this day
Lady L Pray my Lord what have I done that you treat me with so much contempt
Lord L Contempt my best life—How is that
Lady L You seem not to think it worth your while to overawe me
Miss Gr Lord my dear how you are mistaken in applying thus to Lord L Lord L is a good man a virtuous man None but rakes hold these overawing
doctrines They know what they deserve and live in continal fear of meeting with their deserts and so if they marry having the hearts of slaves they become tyrants Miss Byron—
Mr Gr The devils in it if you two Ladies want help I fly the pit
Lord L And I think Mr Grandison you have fought a hard battle
Mr Gr By my soul I think so too I have held it out better than I used to do
Miss Gr I protest I think you have We shall brighten you up among us I am mistaken if there were not two or three smart things said by my cousin Pray did anybody mind them I should be glad to hear them again Do you recollect them yourself cousin
Mr Gr You want to draw me on again cousin Charlotte But the d—l fetch me if you do Ill leave off while I am well
Miss Gr Would you have thought it Lady L My cousin has discretion as well as smartness I congratulate you Sir A new discovery—But hush Tis time for both to have done
Sir Charles enterd Mr Grandison a sufferer again said he
Mr Gr No no Pretty well off this bout—Miss Byron I have had the better end of the staff I believe
Harriet I cant say that Sir But you got off I believe in very good time
Mr Gr And thats a victory to what it used to be I can assure you Nobody ever could awe Miss Grandison
Miss Gr Coward—You would now begin again would you—Sir Charles loves to take me down
Mr Gr Never madam but when you are up And laughd heartily
Miss Gr Witty too—A man of repartee A
verbal wit And thats half as good as a punster at any time
Sir Ch Fight it out cousin Grandison You can laugh on tho the laugh of every other person should be against you
Mr Gr And thou Brutus—It is time to have done
As I think these conversations characteristic I hope the recital of them will be excused Yet I am sensible those things that go off well in conversation do not always read to equal advantage
They would fain have engaged us to stay to supper But we excused ourselves I promised to breakfast with them
I chose not to take my maid with me Jenny is to be made over to me occasionally for the time of my stay Dr Bartlett had desired to be excused So our party is only the two Sisters Lord L Miss Jervois and I
Sir Charles and Mr Grandison are to set out for their journey early in the morning
Adieu my Lucy It is late And sleepiness promises to befriend
Your HARRIET
SelbyhouseSunday Mar 5
My dearest Child
WE are all extremely affected with your present situation Such apparent struggles betwixt your natural openness of heart and the confessions of a young
of a new passion and that so laudably founded and so visibly increasing—O my Love you must not affect reserves They will sit very aukwardly upon a young woman who never knew what affectation and concealment were
You have laid me under a difficulty with respect to Lady D She is to be with me on Saturday next I I have not written to her tho you desired I would since in truth we all think that her proposals deserve consideration and because we are afraid that a greater happiness will never be yours and ours It is impossible my dear to imagine that such a man as Sir Charles Grandison should not have seen the woman whom he could love before he saw you or whom he had not been engaged to love by his gratitude as I may call it for her Love Has not his sister talkd of half a score Ladies who would break their hearts for him were he to marry—And may not this be the reason why he does not
You see what an amiable openness of heart there is in the countess of D You see that your own frankness is a particular recommendation of you to her I had told her that you were disengaged in your affections By your own disclaiming to her the proposed relation you have given reason to so wise a Lady to think it otherwise or that you are not so much above affectation as she had hoped you were And tho we were grieved to read how much you were pushed by Miss Grandison a yet Lady D will undoubtedly make the same observations and inferences that Miss Grandison did And what would you have me do since you cannot give a stronger instance of your affections being engaged than by declining such a proposal as Lady D made before you have conversed with or even seen Lord D And it becomes not your character nor mine either to equivocate or to say the thing that is not
Lady L you think and indeed so it appears hinted to Lady D that Sir Charles stands not in the way of Lord Ds application I see not therefore that there can be any room to hope from that quarter Nor will your fortune I doubt be thought considerable enough And as Sir Charles is not engaged by affection and is generous and munificent there is hardly room to imagine but that in prudence fortune will have some weight with him At least on our side that ought to be supposed and to make a part of our first proposals were a treaty to be begun
Your grandmamma will write to you with her own hand I refer myself wholly to her Her wisdom and her tenderness for you we all know She and I have talked of everything Your uncle will not railly you as he has done We still continue resolved not to prescribe to your inclinations We are afraid therefore of advising you as to this new proposal But your grandmamma is very much pleased that I have not written as you would have had me a letter of absolute refusal to the countess
Your uncle has been enquiring into the state of Sir Charles Grandisons affairs We have heard so many good things of him that I have desired Mr Selby to make no further enquiries unless we could have some hopes of calling him ours But do you my dear nevertheless omit nothing that comes to your knowledge that may let us know in him what a good man is and should be
His magnanimity in refusing to engage in a duel yet acquitting himself so honourably as to leave no doubt about his courage is an example of itself, of a more than human rectitude of thinking and acting How would your grandfather have cherished such a young man We every one of us admire and revere him at the same time and congratulate you my dear and his sisters on the happy issue of the affair between him and that vile Sir Hargrave
You will let me know your mind as to the affair of Lord D and that by the next post Be not rash Be not hasty▪ I am afraid I pushd your delicacy too much in my former Your uncle says that you are at times not so frank in directly owning your passion as from your natural openess of heart he expected you would be when a worthy object had attracted you And he triumphs over us in the imagination that he has at last detected you of affectation in some little degree We all see and own your struggle between virginmodesty and openess of heart as apparent in many passages of your letters and we lay part of your reserve to the apprehensions you must have of his raillery But after you have declared
That you had rather converse but one hour in a week with Sir Charles Grandison
and his sister you put in And sisters are good convenient people sometimes to a bashful or beginning lover of our sex
than be the wife of any man you have ever seen or known and that mean as the word pity sounds you would rather have his pity than the love of any other man
—Upon my word my dear you need not be backward to speak quite out Excuse me my child
I have just now read the inclosed Had I known your grandmamma could have written so long a letter I might have spared much of mine Hers is worthy of her We all subscribe to it but yet will be determined by your next as to the steps to be taken in relation to the proposal of Lady D But if you love be not ashamed to own it to us The man is Sir Charles Grandison
With all our blessings and prayers for you I bid you my dear Love Adieu
MARIANNA SELBY
Sunday March 5
DONT be afraid dont be ashamed my dearest Life to open your whole heart to your aunt Selby and me You know how we all dote upon you It is no disgrace for a young woman of virtue to be in love with a worthy man Love is a natural passion You have shewn I am sure if ever young creature did shew that you are no giddy no indiscreet person Not Greville with all his gaiety not Fenwick with all his adulation not the more respectable Orme with all his obsequiousness nor yet the imploring Fowler nor the terrifying the shocking Sir Hargrave Pollexfen have seen the least shadow of vanity or weakness in you How happily have you steerd thro difficulties in which the love of being admired often involves meaner minds And how have you with mingled dignity and courteousness entitled yourself to the esteem and even veneration of those whom you refused And why refused Not from pride but principle and because you could not love any one of them as you thought you ought to love the man to whom you gave your hand
And at last when the man appeared to you who was worthy of your love who had so powerfully protected you from the lawless attempt of a fierce and cruel pretender a man who proved to be the best of brothers friends landlords masters and the bravest and best of men is it to be wonderd at that an heart which never before was won should discover sensibility and acknowledge its fellowheart—What reason then can you have for shame And why seeks my Harriet to draw a curtain between herself and her sympathizing friends You see my dear that we are
above speaking slightly because of our uncertainty of a man that all the world praises Nor are you child so weak as to be treated with such poor policy
You were not educated my dear in artifice Disguises never sat so ill upon any woman as they do in most of your late letters upon you Every child in lovematters would find you out But be it your glory whether our wishes are or are not answered that your affection is laudable that the object of it is not a man mean in understanding profligate in morals nor sordid in degree but such an one as all we your friends are as much in love with as you can be Only my dear Love my Harriet the support of my life and comfort of my evil days endeavour for my sake and for the sake of us all to restrain so far your laudable inclination as that if it be not your happy lot to give us as well as yourself so desirable a blessing you may not suffer in your health an health so precious to me and put yourself on a soot with vulgar girls run away with by their headstrong passions The more desirable the object, the nobler the conquest of your passion if it is to be overcome Nevertheless speak out my dear your whole heart to us in order to intitle yourself to our best advice And as to your uncle Selby dont let his raillery pain you He diverts us as well as himself by it He gains nothing over us in the arguments he affects to hold with us And you must know that his whole honest heart is wrapt up in his and our Harriet Worthy man He would not any more than I be able to support his spirits were any misfortune to befal his niece
Your aunt Selby has just now shewn me her letter to you She repeats in it as a very strong expression in yours
That you had rather converse wish this excellent man but one hour in a week than be the wife of any man you have ever seen or known
It is a strong expression but to me is an expression greatly to your honour since it shews that the mind,
and not the person is the principal object of your love
I knew that if ever you did love it would be a love of the purest kind As therefore it has not so much person in it as most loves suffer it not to triumph over your reason nor because you cannot have the man you could prefer resolve against having any other Have I not taught you that marriage is a duty whenever it can be enterd into with prudence What a mean what a selfish mind must that person have whether man or woman who can resolve against entering into the state because it has its cares its fatigues its inconveniencies Try Sir Charles Grandison my dear by this rule If he forbears to marry on such narrow motives this must be one of his great imperfections Nor be afraid to try No man is absolutely perfect
But Sir Charles may have engagements from which he cannot free himself My Harriet I hope will not give way to a passion which is not likely to be returned if she find that to be the case You hope you prettily said in one of your letters
that you shall not be undone by a good man
After such an escape as you had from Sir Hargrave I have no fear from a bad one But my child if you are undone by a good one it must be by your own fault while neither he nor his sisters give you encouragement
I know my dear how these suppositions will hurt your delicacy But then you must doubly guard yourself for the reality will be worse wounding to that delicacy than the supposition ought to be If there be but one man in the world that can undo you will you not guard against him
I long to fold my dearest Harriet to my fond heart But yet this that follows is the advice I give as to the situation you are now in Lose no opportunity of cultivating the friendship of his amiable sisters By the way if Miss Grandison guesses at your mind she is
not so generous in her raillery as is consistent with the rest of her amiable character Never deny them your company when they request it Miss Grandison has promised you the history of their family Exact the performance of that promise from her You will thus come at further lights by which you may be guided in your future steps—In particular you will find out whether the sisters espouse the interest of any other woman tho Sir Charless reservedness even to them may not let them know the secrets of his heart in this particular And if they do not espouse any other persons interest why may they not be made your friends my dear—As to fortune could we have any hint what would be expected we would do every thing in our power to make that matter easy and must be content with moderate settlements in your favour
But as I approve of your aunts having forborn to write as you would have had her to Lady D What shall we do in that affair It will be askd
What Why thus Lady D has made it a point that you are disengaged in your affections Your aunt has signified to her that your are You have given that Lady an hint which you say overclouded her brow She will be here on Saturday next Then will she no doubt expect the openest dealing—And she ought to have it Her own frankness demands it and the character we have hitherto supported and I hope always shall support requires it I would therefore let Lady D know the whole of Sir Hargrave Pollexfens attempt You my dear was so laudably frank as to hint it to her and of the generous protection given you by Sir Charles Grandison Truth never leaves room for selfreproach Let your aunt Selby then own that you had written to her declining with the most respectful gratitude the honour intended you Which she could no otherwise account for than by supposing and indeed believing that you would prefer Sir Charles
Grandison from motives of gratitude to any other man But that you knew nothing of his engagements nor had reason to look upon any part of his behaviour to you but as the effect of his general politeness nor that his sisters meant more by calling you sister than their brothers sister as well as theirs
All this shall be mentioned to Lady D in strict confidence Then will Lady D know the whole truth She will be enabled as she ought to judge for herself You will not appear in her eye as guilty of affectation We shall all act in character If Lady L and Miss Grandison did as you suppose acquaint Lady D that you were not addressed by their brother they will be found to have said the truth and you know my dear that we should be as ready to do justice to others veracity as to our own She will see that your regard for Sir Charles if a regard you have that may be an obstacle to her views is owing to a laudable gratitude for his protection given to a young woman whose heart was before absolutely disengaged
And what will be the consequence—Why either that her Ladyship will think no more of the matter and then you will be just where you were or that she will interest herself in finding out Sir Charless engagements And as you have communicated to Lady L and Miss Grandison the letters that have passed between Lady D and your aunt together with the contents of yours so far as relates to the proposal and as Lady D is acquainted with those two ladies she will probably inform herself of their sentiments in relation to the one affair and the other and the matter on every side by this means will sooner come to a decision than probably it can any other way
I dont know whether I express myself clearly I am not what I was But blessed be God that I am what I am I did not think that in so little a time I could have written so much as I have But my dear Harriet is my subject and her happiness is and has
ever been my only care since I lost the husband of my youth the dear man who divided with me that and all my cares who had a love for you equal to my own and who I think would have given just such advice What would Mr Shirley have thought How would he in the like case have acted are the questions I always ask myself before I give my opinion in any material cases especially in those which relate to you
And here let me commend a sentiment of yours that is worthy of your dear grandfathers pupil
I should despise myself say you were I capable of keeping one man in suspense while I was balancing in favour of another
Good young creature hold fast your principles whatever befalls you Look upon this world as you have been taught to look upon it I have lived to a great age Yet to look backward to the time of my youth when I was not a stranger to the hopes and fears that now agitate you what a short space does it seem to be Nothing withholds my wishes to be released but my desire of seeing the darling of my heart my sweet orphangirl happy in a worthy mans protection O that it could be in—But shall we my dear prescribe to Providence How know we what that has designed for Sir Charles Grandison His welfare is the concern of hundreds perhaps He compared to us is as the public to the private I hope we are good people Comparatively I am sure we are good That however, is not the way by which we shall be judged hereafter But yet to him we are but as that private
Dont think however my best Love that I have lived too long to be sensible of what most affects you Of your pleasures your pains I can and do partake Your late harassings so tender so lovely a blossom cost me many a pang and still my eyes bear witness to my sensibility as the cruel scenes are at times read to
me again or as I recall them to memory But all I mean is to arm you against feeling too sensibly when it is known the event which is now hidden in the bosom of Providence should it as is but too likely prove unfavourable
You have a great deal of writing upon your hands We cannot dispense with any of that But if you write to your aunt Selby as the time till next Saturday is short that will be writing to us both
God preserve direct and bless my sweet orphanchild—This is the hourly prayer of
Your everaffectionate Grandmother HENRIETTA SHIRLEY
ColnebrookeTuesday March 7
I HAVE the favour of yours and of my dear grandmammas just brought me The contents are so affecting that tho in full assembly as I may say in this delightful family I begged to be permitted to withdraw to write to them Miss Grandison saw my confusion my puzzle what shall I call it To be charged so home my dear aunt—Such apparent struggles—And were they madam so very apparent—A young a new passion—And so visibly increasing—Pray madam if it be so it is not at its height—And is it not while but in its progress conquerable—But have I been guilty of affectation of reserves—If I have my uncle has been very merciful to the aukward girl
And you think it impossible madam but he has seen women whom he could love before he saw me Very likely But was it kind to turn the word gratitude upon me in such a manner
I do see what an amiable openness of heart there is
in Lady D I admire her for it and for her other matronly qualities What can you do madam What can I do That is the question called upon as I am by my grandmamma as well as by you to speak still plainer plain as in your opinion I had spoken and indeed in my own now I read the free sentence drawn out and separated from the rest of the letter My grandmamma forgives and even praises me for this sentence She encourages me to speak still plainer It is no disgrace she says for a woman of virtue to be in Love with a worthy man Love is a natural passion she tells me Yet cautions me against suffering it to triumph over my reason; in short not to love till there shall be a certainty of return—And so I can love as I will when I will nay whom I will for if he wont have me I am desired not to resolve against marrying some other Lord D for example, if he will be so good as to have me
Well but upon a full examination of my heart how do I find it now I am called upon by my two most venerable friends to undraw the curtain and to put off the disguises through which every child in lovematters finds me out Shall I speak my whole heart—To such sympathizing friends surely I ought Well then I own to you my honourd grandmamma and aunt that I cannot think of encouraging any other address Yet have I no hope I look upon myself as presumptuous Upon him as too excellent and too considerable for he has a great estate and still greater expectations And as to personal and intellectual merit what woman can deserve him—Even in the article of fortune only you think that in prudence a man so munificent should look higher
Be pleased therefore madam in conformity to my grandmammas advice to tell Lady D from me
That I think her laudable openness deserves like openness That your Harriet was disengaged in her affections absolutely disengaged when you told her
that she was Tell her what afterwards happened Tell her how my gratitude engaged me That at first it was no more but that now being called upon on this occasion I have owned my gratitude exalted
It may not I hope be said debased the object so worthy into—Love—Yes say Love—since I act too aukwardly in the disguises I have assumed
That therefore I can no more in justice than by inclination think of any other man And own to her that her Ladyship has however engaged my respectful Love even to reverence by her goodness to me in the visit she honourd me with and that for her sake I could have given ear to this proposal preferably to any other that had yet been made me had I seen nothing objectable in Lord D upon an interview and further acquaintance
And yet I own to you my venerable friends that I always think of Mr Orme with grateful pity for his humble for his modest perseverance What would I give to see Mr Orme married to some very worthy woman in whom he could be happy
Finally bespeak for me her Ladyships favour and friendship but not to be renewed till my Lord is married—And may his nuptials be as happy as wished to be by a mother so worthy But tell her at the same time that I would not for twelve times my Lords 12000 l a year give my hand to him or to any man while another had a place in my heart however unlikely it is that I may be called by the name of the man I prefer
But tell Lady D all this in confidence in the strictest confidence among more general reasons regarding the delicacy of our sex for fear the family I am with who now love should hate and what would be still worse despise your Harriet for her presumption—I think I could not bear that—Dont mind this great blot—Forgive it—It would fall—My pen found it before I saw it
As to myself whatever be my lot I will endeavour to reap consolation from these and other passages in the two precious letters before me
If you love be not ashamed to own it to us—The man is Sir Charles Grandison
Love is a natural passion
Mine is laudable The object of it is a man not mean in understanding nor profligate in morals nor sordid in degree All my friends are in Love with him as well as I
My Love is a Love of the purest kind
And I ought to acquiesce because our Love of him is but as as the Love of private compared to the Love of public
Noble instructions my dearest two mammas to which I will endeavour to give their full weight
And now let me take it a little unkindly that you call me your orphangirl You two and my honoured uncle have supplied all wanting relations to me My father then my grandmamma and my other mamma continue to pray for and to bless not your orphan but your real daughter in all love and reverence
HARRIET BYRONSHIRLEYSELBY
ColnebrookeTuesday March 7
HERE I am my dear Lucy returned to this happy asylum But with what different emotions from the first time I enterd it How did my heart flutter when one of Sir Charless servants who attended us on horseback pointed out to us at the command of the Ladies the very spot where the two chariots met and the contest began The recollection pained me Yet
do I not owe to that terrifying incident the friendship I am admitted into with so amiable a family
Miss Grandison ever obliging has indulged me in my choice of having a room to myself I shall have the more leisure for writing to you my dear friends
Both she and Lady L are very urgent with me to shew them some of the letters in our correspondence and Miss Grandison says if that will encourage me to oblige them they will shew me some of their brothers—Who would not be tempted by such an exchange I am more than halfafraid—But surely in such an heap of stuff as I have written there is something that I can read to them Shall I be permitted do you think to have my letters returned me for this purpose The remarks of these Ladies on what I shall think fit to shew them will be of great use in helping to settle my judgment I know I have thrown out many things at random and being a young creature and not passed the age of fancy have in all those sentiments which are not borrowed been very superficial How can it be otherwise
The conversation in the coach turned upon their own family for I put in my claim to Miss Grandisons former promise on that head from which I gatherd the following particulars
Sir Thomas Grandison was one of the handsomest men of his time He had a great notion of magnificence in living and went deep into all the fashionable diversions except gaming with cards and dice tho he ran into one as expensive but which he called a nobler vice valuing himself upon his breed of racehorses and hunters and upon his kennel in both which articles he was extravagant to profusion
His father Sir Charles was as frugal as Sir Thomas was profuse He was a purchaser all his life and left his son besides an estate of 6000 l a year in England and near 2000 l a year in Ireland rich in money
His Lady was of a noble family sister to Lord W
She was as you have already been told the most excellent of women I was delighted to see her two daughters bear testimony to her goodness and to their own worth by their tears It was impossible in the character of so good a woman not to think of my own mamma and I could not help on the remembrance joining my tears with theirs
Miss Jervois also wept not only from tenderness of nature, and sympathy but as she owned from regret that she had not the same reason to rejoice in a living mother as we had to remember affectionately the departed
What I have written and shall farther write to the disadvantage of Sir Thomas Grandison I gatherd from what was dropt by one Lady and by the other at different times for it was beautiful to observe with what hesitation and reluctancy they mentioned any of his failings with what pleasure his good qualities heightening the one and extenuating the other O my Lucy how would their hearts have overflowed in his praises had they had such a faultless father and excellent man as was my father Sweet is the remembrance of good parents to good children
Lady Grandison brought a great fortune to Sir Thomas He had a fine poetical vein which he was fond of cultivating Tho his fortune was so ample it was his person and his verses that won the Lady from several competitors He had not however her judgment He was a poet and I have heard my grandfather say that to be a poet requires an heated imagination which often runs away with the judgment
This Lady took the consent of all her friends in her choice but here seemed an hint to drop from Lady L that they consented because it was her choice for Sir Thomas from the day he enterd upon his estate set out in a way that everybody concluded would diminish it
He made however a kind husband as it is called
His goodsense and his politeness and the pride he took to be thought one of the bestbred men in England secured her complaisant treatment But Lady Grandison had qualities that deserved one of the best and tenderest of men Her eye and her ear had certainly misled her I believe a woman who chooses a man whom everybody admires if the man be not good must expect that he will have calls and inclinations that will make him think the character of a domestic man beneath him
She endeavoured at setting out to engage his companionableness—shall I call it She was fond of her husband He had reason to be and was proud of his wife But when he had shewd her everywhere and she began to find herself in circumstances which ought to domesticate a wife of a much gayer turn than Lady Grandison pretended to have he gave way to his predominant byass and after a while leaving the whole familycare to her for her excellence in every branch of which he was continually praising her He did her that justice he was but little at home in the summer and in the winter was generally engaged four months in the diversions of this great town and was the common patron of all the performers whether at plays operas or concerts
At first setting out in this way he was solicitous to carry his Lady with him to town She always chearfully accepted of his invitation when she saw he was urgent with her to go She would not give a pretence for so gay a man to throw off that regard to appearances which pride made him willing to keep up But afterwards his invitations growing fainter and fainter and she finding that her presence lengthened the time of his stay in town and added greatly to his expences for he never would abate when they were together of that magnificence in which he delighted to live in the country she declined going up And having by this time her three children she found it was
as agreeable to Sir Thomas as to herself that she should turn her thoughts wholly to the domestic duties Lady Grandison when she found that she could not bring Sir Thomas to lessen his great expences supposed it to be wisdom to endeavour to the utmost of her power to enable him to support them without discredit to himself or visible hurt to his family The children were young and were not likely to make demands upon him for many years to come
Here was a mother my dear Who will say that mothers may not be the most useful persons in the family when they do their duty and their husbands are defective in theirs Sir Thomas Grandisons delights centred in himself Lady Grandisons in her husband and children What a superiority what an inferiority
Yet had this Lady with the best oeconomy no narrowness in her heart She was beloved for her generosity and benevolence Her poor neighbours adored her Her table was plenteous She was hospitable as well from the largeness of her own heart as to give credit to her busband and so far to accommodate herself to his taste as that too great a difference might not be seen between his absence and presence As occasions offerd she would confer benefits in the name of an husband whom perhaps she had not seen of months and knew not whether she might see for months to come She was satisfied tho hers was the first merit with the second merit reflected from that she gave him
I am but Sir Thomass almoner I know I shall please Sir Thomas by doing this Sir Thomas would have done thus Perhaps he would have been more bountiful had he been present
He had been once absent from this admirable wife six whole months when he left her but for one He designed only an excursion to Paris when he set out but when in company as gay as himself while he was there he extended his tour and what was still more
inexcusable he let his Lady hear from him by secondhand only He never wrote one line to her with his own yet on his return affected to surprise her by a sudden appearance when she knew not that he was in England
Was not this intollerably vain in him The moment he appeared so secure was he of his Ladys unmerited Love that he supposed the joy she would break out into would banish from her thoughts all memory of his past unkindness
He askd her however after the first emotions for she received him with real joy If she could easily forgive him—Forgive you Sir—Yes if you can forgive yourself
This he called severe Well he might for it was just Lady Grandisons goodness was founded in principle not in tameness or servility
Be not serious Sir Thomas said my Lady and flung her arms about him You know by your question you were unkind Not one line from your own hand neither—But the seeing you now safe and well compensates me for all the anxieties you have given me in the past six tedious months—Can I say they were not anxious ones But I pity you Sir for the pleasure you have lost by so long an absence Let me lead you to the nursery or let the dear prattlers come down to receive their fathers blessing How delightful is their dawning reason Their improvements exceed my hopes Of what pleasure do you deprive yourself by these long absences
My dear Miss Grandison let me write on I am upon a sweet subject Why will you tear me from it Who Lucy would not almost wish to be the wife the halfslighted wife of a gay Sir Thomas to be a Lady Grandison
One reflexion my dear Miss Grandison let me make before I attend you left I should lose it What man who now at one view takes in the whole gay
fluttering life of Sir Thomas Grandison tho young gay and flutterring himself can propose to be more happy than Sir Thomas thought himself What woman who in like manner can take in the whole useful prudent serene benevolent life of Lady Grandison whatever turn to pleasure less solid and more airy she may have sees not from this imperfect sketch all that they should wish to be and the transitory vanity of the one and the solid happiness that must attend the other as well here as hereafter
Dear Lady—had you not hurried me so how much better should I have expressed myself
I come I come
MISS Grandison has been making me read aloud some part of the letter I had just writ to you Lucy We know said she it is about us but we shall think what you have written greatly to our disadvantage if we cannot hear some of it Then she insisted she is an arbitrary dear creature on my giving the company It was at tea and Lord L present such histories as she should call for of my own family On this condition only said she will we consent to be made fully known as I find we shall if I do not steal away your pen and ink to our grandmother Shirley our aunt Selby and even to our Lucy
Do not you think Lucy I ran on with pleasure in describing the persons and tempers of my father and mother and relating their fortunes loves difficulties as my grandmamma and aunt had enabled me to do from what they used to recount in many a long summerday and in many a winterevening as we girls sat at work—Happy memorials—Ay but do
you believe she did not question me about later events She did indeed call upon me for two other histories
And of whom methinks you ask
I wont tell you Lucy But if my aunt should be solicitous to know and should guess that my uncles and hers so entertaining and instructive was one of them and if you Lucy should guess that the history of a young lady whose discretion got the better of her Love and who cannot be dearer to herself than she is to me is the other—Why perhaps neither my aunt nor you my dear may be much mistaken
Methinks I would fain rise nowandthen to my former serenepertness Allow you of the words so connected But my heart is heavy
They were delighted with a certain gentlemans humourous character and courtship with his ladys prudence and goodness in the one story and in the other with the young Ladys victorious discretion They wish to be personally acquainted with each and with my grandmamma All the worthies in the world my dear are not in the Grandisonfamily
BEFORE I resume the continuation of the Ladies familyhistory let me ask Dont you think my dear that God has blessed these happy children for the sake of their excellent mother And who knows but for their duty to their lessdeserving father It is my notion that one persons remissness in duty where there is a reciprocal one does not absolve the other party from the performance of his It is difficult indeed to love so well a faulty or remiss parent as a kind and good one But our duty is indispensable and where it is paid a blessing may the rather be expected as the parent has not done his If when you do well and suffer for it says the Apostle ye take it patiently this is acceptable with God—Not to mention one consideration which however ought not to be left out of the account that a good child will be no
less benefitted by the warning as Sir Charles no doubt is from his fathers unhappy turn than by the example as he is from that of his excellent mother
Lady L referred to the paper given in by the shorthand writer for the occasion as mentioned by Sir Charles to which these three worthy Children owed the loss of such a mother a: And this drew her into a melancholy relation of some very affecting particulars Among other things she said her mother regretted in her last hours that she had no opportunity that she could think just and honourable to lay by any thing considerable for her daughters Her jewels and some valuable trinkets she hoped would be theirs But that would be at their fathers pleasure I wish said she that my dear girls were to have between them the tenth part of what I have saved—But I have done but my duty
I have told you Charlotte said the Countess what my mother said to me a few hours before she died and I will repeat it to Miss Byron After having upon general principles recommended filial duty and brotherly and sisterly love to us all and after my brother and sister had withdrawn My dear Careline said she let me add to the general arguments of the duty I have been enforcing upon you all one respecting your interest and let your sister know it I am afraid there will be but a slender provision made for my dear girls Your papa has the notion rivesed in him which is common to men of antient families that daughters are but incumbrances and that the son is to be everything He loves his girls He loves you dearly But he has often declared that were he to have entire all the fortune that descended to him from his father be would not give to his daughters marry whom they would more than 5000 l apiece Your brother loves you He loves me It will be in his power should he
survive your father to be a good friend to you—Love your brother
To my brother afterwards she said something I believe recommending his sisters to him for we coming in boy as he was in years but man in behaviour and understanding he took each of our hands—You remember it Charlotte Both sisters wept and kneeling down and putting them in my mothers heldout dying hands and bowing his face upon all three—All madam—All my dearest best of mammas that you have enjoind—
He could say no more and our arms were wet with with his tears—Enough enough my son I distress you—And she kissed her own arm—These are precious tears— You embalm me my son with your tears—O how precious the balm—And she lifted up her head to kiss his cheek and to repeat her blessings to the darling of her heart
Who could refrain tears my Lucy on the representation of such a scene—Miss Jervois and I wept as if we had been present on the solemn occasion
But my Charlotte give Miss Byron some brief account of the parting scene between my father and mother She is affected as a sister should be—Tears when time has matured a pungent grief into a sweet melancholy are not hurtful They are as the dew of the morning to the green herbage
I cannot said Miss Grandison—Do you Lady L
Lady L proceeded—My father had long kept his chamber from the unhappy adventure which cost him and us all so dear My mother till she was forced to take to her bed was constantly his attendant And then was grieved she could not attend him still
At last the moment happy to her long dreaded by us the releasing moment approached One last long farewel she wishd to take of the man who had been ever dear to her and who had cost her so dear He was told of her desire to be lifted to his bedside in
her bed for one of his wounds too soon skinned over was broken out and he was confined to his bed—He ordered himself to be carried in a great chair to hers But then followed such a scene—
All we three children were in the room kneeling by the bedside—praying—weeping—O how ineffectually—Not even hope remaining—Best beloved of my soul in faltering accents said my mother her head raised by pillows so as that she sat upright—Forgive the desire of my heart once more to see you—They would not bring me to you—O how I distress you—For my father sobbed every feature of his face seemd swelled almost to bursting and working as if in mortal agonies—Charlotte relieve me—
The sweet Ladys eyes were drowned in tears—
I cannot said Miss Grandison her handkerchief spread over her face
Miss Emily sobbed She held her hand before her eyes Her tears trickled through her fingers
I was affected beyond measure—Yet besought her Ladyship to proceed—She went on
I have endeavourd said my mother in broken sentences—It was my wish—It was my pride Indeed my chiefest pride to be a good wise—
O my dear—You have been—My father could not say what
Forgive my imperfections Sir—
O my dearest life You had no imperfections I I was all imper—He could not speak out the word for his tears
Bless your children in my sight God hitherto has blessed them God will continue to bless them if they continue to deserve their fathers blessing Dear Sir Thomas as you love them bless them in my sight I doubt not your goodness to them—But the blessing of a dying mother joined with that of a surviving father—must have efficary
My father looked earnestly to us all—He could not speak
By brother following my mothers dying eye which was cast upon my father arose from his knees and approaching my fathers chair cast himself at his feet My father threw his arms about his neck—God bless—God bless my son said he—and make him a better man than his father My mother demanding the cheek of her beloved son said God bless my dearest child and make you an honour to your fathers family and to your mothers memory
We girls followed my brothers example
God bless my daughters—God bless you sweet Loves said my father first kissing one then the other as we kneeled—God make you as good women as your mother Then then will you deserve to be happy
God bless you my dear girls God bless you both said my mother kissing each as you are dutiful to your father and as you love one another—I hope I have given you no bad example
My father began to accuse himself My brother with the piety of the patriarchs two best sons retired that he might not hear his fathers confession We followed him to the farther end of the room The manly youth sat down between us and held an hand of each between his His noble heart was softend He two or three times listed the hand of each to his lips But he could only once speak his heart seeming ready to burst and that was as I remember O my sisters—Comfort yourselves—But who can say comfort—These tears are equally our duty and our relief
My mother retained to the last that generosity of mind which had ever distinguished her She would not permit my father to proceed with his self▪accusation Let us look forward my dearest my only Love said she I have a blessed hope before me I pity as well
as pray for survivors You are a man of sense, Sir and of enlarged sentiments God direct you according to them and comfort you All my fear was and that more particularly for some of the last past months that I should have been the mournful survivor In a very few moments all my sufferings will be over and God give you when you come to this unavoidable period of all human vanity the same happy prospects that are now opening to me O Sir believe me all worldly joys are now nothing less than nothing Even my love of you and of the dear piedges of our mutual Love withholds not now my wishes after an happier state There may we meet and never be separated—Forgive me only my beloved husband if I have ever made you for one hour unhappy or uneasy—Forgive the petulancies of my Love
Who can bear this goodness said my father I have not deserved—
Dear Sir no more—Were you not the husband of my choice—And now your grief affects me—Leave me Sir You bring me back again to earth—God preserve you watch over you heal you support you Your hand Sir Thomas Grandison the name that was ever so pleasant in my ears Your hand Sir Your heart was my treasure I have now and only now a better treasure a diviner Love in view▪ Adieu and in this world for ever adieu my husband my friend my Grandison
She turned her head from him sunk upon her pillows and fainted and so saw not had not the grief to see the stronger heart of my father overcome for he fainted away and was carried out in his chair by the servants who brought him in He was in a strong convulsionfit between his not halfcured wounds and his grief and recoverd not till all was over with my blessed mother
After my father was carried out she came to herself Her chaplain was once more admitted The
fatal moment approached She was asked if she would see her children again No she said but bid her last blessing be repeated to them and her charge of loving one another, in the words of our Saviour as she had loved us And when the chaplain came to read a text which she had imperfectly pointed to but so as to be understood she repeated in faltering accents but with more strength of voice than she had had for an hour before I have fought a good fight I have finished my course I have kept the faith—There is laid up for me a crown of righteousness And then her voice failing she gave signs of satisfaction in the hope of being entitled to that crown and expired in an ejaculation that her ebbing life could not support
O my Lucy may my latter end and the latter end of all I love be like hers The two Ladies were in speechless tears so was Miss Jervois so was I for some minutes And for an hour or two all the joys of life were as nothing to me Even the regard I had entertained for the excellent son of a Lady so excellent my protector my deliverer had for some hours subsided and was as nothing to me Even now that I have concluded this moving recapitulation it seems as nothing and the whole world my dear is as a bit of dirt under my feet
THE son was inconsolable upon his mothers death He loved his father but next to adored his mother His father tho he had given so little attention to his education was excessively fond of him And no doubt but he the more easily satisfied himself on this head as he knew his remissness was so well supplied by his ladys care which mingled with the cares of the masters of the several sciences who came home to him at her desire
A deep melancholy having seized the young gentleman on a loss so irreparable his father who himself was greatly grieved and the more as he could not but reproach himself as having at least hastend that loss was alarmed for his son and yielded to the entreaties of General W brother of Lord W to permit him to travel The General recommended for a governor to the young gentleman an officer under him who had been wounded and obliged to quit the military service Sir Thomas allowed his son 800 l a year from the day of his setting out on his travels which he augmented afterwards to 1000 l Sir Charles was about seventeen when his mother died
The two daughters were taken by Lady W But she dying in about twelvemonths after Lady Grandison they returned to their father who by that time had pretty well got over his grief for the loss of his Lady and was quite recovered of the wounds which he received in the duel that cost her her life
He placd over his daughters as governess though they both took exceptions at that title supposing themselves of age to manage for themselves the widow of one of his gay friends Oldham by name whose fortune had not held out as Sir Thomass had done Men of strong health I have heard my grandfather say and of a riotous turn should not in mere compassion keep company with men of feebler constitutions and make them the companions of their riots So may one say I believe that extravagant men of great and small fortunes are equally illsuited since the expences which will but shake the one will quite demolish the other
Mrs Oldham had fine qualities and was an oeconomist She deserved a better husband than had fallen to her lot and the young Ladies having had a foundation laid by a still more excellent manager received no small advantage from her skill in family affairs But it was related to me with reluctance and
as what I must know on a further acquaintance with their family if they did not tell it to me that Sir Thomas was grateful to this Lady in a way that cost her her reputation She was obliged in short in little more than a twelvemonth to quit the country and to come up to town She had an indisposition which kept her from going abroad for a month or two
Lady L being then about nineteen and Miss Grandison about sixteen they had spirit enough to oppose the return of this Lady to her charge They undertook themselves to manage everything at the capital seat in Hampshire
Sir Thomas had another seat in Essey Thither on the reluctance of the young Ladies to receive again Mrs Oldham he carried her and they as well as everybody else for some time apprehended they were actually married She was handsome well descended and tho she became so unhappily sensible of the favours and presents by which Sir Thomas made way to her heart she had an untainted character when he took her as a governess to the young Ladies
Was not Sir Thomas very very faulty with regard to this poor woman—She had already suffered enough from a bad husband to whom she remarkably well performd her duty—Poor woman—The example to his own daughters was an abominable one She was the relict of his friend She was under his protection Thrown into it by her unhappy circumstances—Were not these great aggravations to his crime Happy for those parents who live not to see such catastrophes as attended this child This darling it seems Not undeservedly so and whom they thought they had not unhappily married to Mr Oldham—And he poor man thought himself not unhappy in Sir Thomas Grandisons acquaintance tho it ended in his emulating him in his expences with a
much less estate in the ruin of his fortune which indeed was his own fault and in the ruin of his wifes virtue which was more Sir Thomass than hers—May I say so—If I may not since women whose glory is their chastity must not yield to temptation had not the husband however something to answer for who with his eyes open lived at such a rate against his wifes dutiful remonstrances and better example as reduced her after his death to the necessity of dependence on anothers favour and such another
Sir Thomas was greatly displeased with his daughters for resisting him in the return of their governess He had thought the reason of her withdrawing a secret because he wishd it to be one And yet her disgrace was at the time everywhere talked of but in his presence
This woman is still living She has two children by Sir Thomas who are also living and one by Mr Oldham I shall be told more of her history when the Ladies come to give me some account of their brothers
Sir Thomas went on in the same gay fluttering way that he had done all his life The Love of pleasure as it is called was wrought into his habit He was a sl•ve to it and to what he called freedom He was deemed one of the best companions among men and one of the gallantest men among women His advantages of person and mind were snares to him Mrs Oldham was not the only one of her sex with whom he was intimate He had another mistress in town who had a taste for all its gaieties and who even assumed his name
He would rowand then by way of excursion and to surprise the young Ladies visit Grandisonhall but tho it was once the seat he most delighted in neither gave nor seamed to receive much pleasure there hurrying away on a sudden as if he had escaped from
it tho never father had more reason to be pleased with the conduct and duty of daughters And this he often declared boasting of them in their absence but snubbing chiding and studying to find fault with them when present
But what equally surprised and affected them was that his son had not been a year abroad when he prohibited them to write to or correspond with him and by their brothers discontinuing to write to them from about the same time they supposed that he was under the same prohibition And so it seems he was
They presumed their fathers reason for this unkind prohibition was his fear that his gaieties would have been one of the subjects of the correspondence and the rather as those gaieties were so likely to affect all three in their fortunes
The young Ladies however for some time continued writing to their brother Miss Grandison in mentioning this said in her ususal sprightly manner that she never had any notion of obeying unreasonable commands commands so evidently unreasonable as to be unnatural And she called upon me to justify her in her notion The Countess also desired me to speak my mind on this subject
I am apprehensive said I of childrens partiality in this respect If they make themselves their own judges in the performance or nonperformance of a duty inclination I am afraid will too often be their guide rather than right reason They will be too apt perhaps to call those commands unnatural which are not so unnatural as this seems to be
But Harriet asked Miss Grandison would not you have written on in the like circumstances
I believe not replied I and partly for this reason because I should have had no doubt but my brother would have the same prohibition and I should only have shewn my brother as well as my father were
my father to know it an instance of my refractorines• without obtaining the desired end or if my br•••er had written I should have made him a part•er in my fault
Your •ower regards the policy of the thing Harriet said Miss Grandison But ought an unnatural command—
There she stopt Yet by her looks expected me to speak
I should have thought it hard but that it was more meritorious to submit than the contrary I believe I should have supposed that my father might have reasons which might not appear to me But pray Ladies how did your brother—
O he was implicit—
Will you forgive me ladies—I should have been concerned I think that my brother in a point of duty tho it were one that might be disputable should be more nice more delicate than I his sister
Miss Emily looked as if she were pleased with me
Well you are a good girl a very good girl said Miss Grandison That whether your doctrine be just or not is out of dispute
This prohibition gave the sisters the more sensible concern as they were afraid it would lay a foundation for distance and indifference in their brother to them on whom as their mother had presaged they were likely if he survived their father to have a too great dependence but more particularly at that time as their brother had promised at his taking leave of them to write a regular account of all that befel him and of all that was curious and worthy notice in the courts and places he visited and had actually begun to do so and as he had asked their advice in relation to his governor who proved not so proper a person for that employment as was expected and to which they had answered without knowing for some time what was the resolution he took
They asked their father from time to time after the welfare of their brother He would answer them with pleasure and sometimes with tears in his eyes He is all that is dutiful brave pious worthy And would sometimes add God reward him I cannot But when he mentioned the word dutiful he would look at them as if he had in his thoughts their resisting him in his intention of reinstating their governess the only time they could recollect that they had given him the shadow of displeasure
The Ladies went on and said that Sir Thomas in all companies gloried in his son And once Lord W who himself on his Ladys death openly indulged himself in liberties which before he was only suspected to take O my Lucy how rare a character in this age is that of a virtuous man told some gentlemen who wonderd that Sir Thomas Grandison could permit a son so beloved to be absent from him so many years that the reason Sir Thomas gave was that his sons morals and his own were so different that he should not be able to bear his own consciousness if he consented to his return to England The unhappy man was so habituated to vice that he could talk familiarly of his gaieties to his intimates seeming to think them too well known for him to endeavour to conceal them but however would add sometimes I intend to set about altering my course of life and then will I send for my son But alas Sir Thomas went on from year to year only intending He lived not to begin the promised alteration nor to see his son
Yet one awakener he had that made him talk of beginning the alteration of his way of living out of hand and of sending for his son which last act was to be the forerunner of his reformation
It happend that Mrs Farnborough the woman he lived with when in town was struck with the smallpox in the height of her gaiety and pleasure for she
was taken ill at the opera on seeing a Lady of her acquaintance there whose face bore too strongly the marks of the distemper and who it seems had made her first visit to that place rather than to a better The malady aided by her terror proved mortal and Sir Thomas was so much affected with the warning that he left town and in pursuance of his temporary good resolutions went down to his daughters talked of sending for his son and for some few months lived like the man of sense and understanding he was known to be
LORD L returned from his travels about the time that Mrs Farnborough was taken ill He had brought some presents to Sir Thomas from his son who took all opportunities to send him over curiosities some of considerable value which served at the same time to shew his oeconomy and his duty He forgot not in this way his sisters tho his accompanying letters were short and merely polite and such as required no other answer than thanks Only they could discover by them that he had warm wishes to be allowed to return to England but such a submission to his fathers pleasure as entirely to give up his own
Sir Thomas seemed fond of Lord L And setting out on Mrs Farnboroughs death for Grandisonhall gave him an invitation to visit him there for he would listen with pleasure an hour together to him or to any one who would talk and give him some account of his son How predominant must those passions those habits be in his heart which could take place of a Love so laudably paternal
In pursuance of this invitation Lord L attended
him at the Hall and there fell in Love with the eldest of the young Ladies He revealed his passion to her She referred herself wholly to her father Sir Thomas could not be blind to their mutual affection Everybody saw it Lord Ls passion was of the ardent kind and he was too honest to wish to conceal it But yet Sir Thomas would not see it He behaved however with great freedom and civility to my Lord so that the heart of the young Lady was insensibly engaged but he avoided several opportunities which the Lover had lain in wait for to open his mind and make proposals
At last my Lord desired an audience of Sir Thomas as upon a subject of the last importance The Baronet after some little delays and not without some inauspicious reluctance granted it And then my Lord revealed his passion to him
Sir Thomas asked him if he had made it known to his daughter And yet must have seen on an hundred occasions at breakfast at dinner at tea at supper how matters stood with both the Lovers if Miss Grandisons pleasant account of the matter may be depended upon
Lord L owned he had and that he had asked her leave to make proposals to her father to whom she wholly referred herself
Sir Thomas seemed uneasy and oddly answerd he was sorry for it He wishd his Lordship had not put such notions in the girls head Both his daughters would now be set a romancing he supposed They were till now modest young creatures he said Young women should not too soon be set to look out of themselves for happiness—He had known many quiet and orderly girls set a madding by the notice of men He did not know what business young fellows had to find out qualifications in other mens daughters that the parents of those daughters had not given themselves leisure to discover A daughter of
his he hoped had not encouraged such discoveries It was to him but as yesterday when they were crowing in the arms of their nurses and now he supposed they would be set a crowing after wedlock
What an odd father was Sir Thomas my Lucy—His own life it is evident, had passed away very pleasantly
Indeed he could hardly bear to think he added of either of his daughters as marriagaeble yet They have not been nursed in the town hotbeds my Lord They are sober countrygirls and good housewives I love not that girls should marry before they have done growing A young wife makes a vapourish mother I forget their age—But twentysix or twentyeight is time enough for a woman either for the sake of modesty or discretion to marry
We may like gay men for husbands my dear Some of us do But at this rate those daughters must be very good girls who can make their best courtesies to their mothers and thank them for their fancies or the fathers must be more attentive to their growth than Sir Thomas was to that of his daughters—What have I said—I am here afraid of my uncle
My Lord was surprised and well he might Sir Thomas had forgot as Lady L observed that he himself thought Miss W was not too young at seventeen to be Lady Grandison
My Lord was a modest Man He was begging as it may be called the young woman whom of all the women in the world he loved best of her father who was a man that knew the world and had long made a considerable figure in it and who for reasons which would have held with him had he lived to see her forty had no mind to part with her Yet my Lord pleaded his passion her great and good qualities as acknowledged by himself and modestly hinted at the unexceptionableness of his own character and the favour he stood in with his son not saying the least
word of his birth and alliances which some Lovers of his rank would not have forgot And it seems he was right in forbearing to make these accidents a plea for Sir Thomas valued himself upon his ancestry and used to say that his progenitor in James the Firsts time disgraced it by accepting the title of Baronet
Sir Thomas allowed something to the plea of his standing well with his son Let me tell you my Lord said he that I shall take no step in a familyaffair of this consequence without consulting with my son and the rather as he is far from expecting so much of my consideration for him He is the pride of my life
My Lord desired that his suit might be put upon the issue of his sons approbation
But pray my Lord what fortune do you expect with my girl Well as you love her I suppose the return of her Love for yours which you seem not to doubt will not be enough Can the poor girl be a Countess without a confounded parcel of dross fastend to her petticoat to make her weight in the other scale
My circumstances said my honest Lord L permit me not in discretion to make that compliment to my Love which my heart would with transport make were they better But I will lay them faithfully before you and be determined by your generosity
I could not but expect from a young man of your Lordships goodsense such an answer as this And yet I must tell you that we fathers who know the world expect to make some advantage of a knowledge that has cost us so much I should not dislike a little more romancing in Love from a man that asks for my daughter tho I care not how little of it is shewn by my son to another mans Every father thinks thus my Lord but is not so honest as to own it
I am sure Sir Thomas that you would not think a man worthy of your daughter who had no regard to
any-thing, but the gratification of his own wishes who could think for the sake of that of involving a young Lady in difficulties which she never knew in her fathers house
Why this my Lord is well said You and I may afford to make handsome compliments to one another, while compliments only are expected I have a good share of health I have not quitted the world so entirely nor think I ought as to look upon myself as the necessary tool of my children to promote their happiness at the expence of my own My Lord I have still a strong relish for the pleasures of this world My daughters may be women grown Your Lordship seems to have found out that they are and has persuaded one of them that she is and the other will be ready to think she is not three years behind her This is an inconvenience which you have brought upon me And as I would be glad to live a little longer for myself I wish you to withdraw your suit and leave me to do as well as I can with my daughters I propose to carry them to town next winter They shall there look about them and see whom they could like and who could like them that they may not be liable to afterrepentance for having taken the first man that offerd
My Lord told Sir Thomas that he hoped there could not be reason to imagine that any-thing could possibly arise from his address that should be incompatible with the happiness of a father—And was going on in the same reasonable strain but Sir Thomas interrupted him—
You must not my Lord suppose I can be a stranger to whatever may be urged by a young man on this subject You say you are in Love Caroline is a girl that anybody may love But I have not a mind she should marry so soon I know the inconvenience of early marriages A mans children treading upon his heels and shouldering him with their shoulders In
short my Lord I have an aversion to be called a grandfather before I am a grey father Sir Thomas was not put to it to try to overcome this aversion Girls will start up and look up and parents cannot help it But what father in the vigour of his days would not wish to help it I am not fond of their partnership in my substance Why should I divide my fortune with novices when making the handsome allowances to them that I do make it is not too much for myself My son should be their example He is within a year as old as my eldest girl On his future alliances I build and hope to add by them to the consequence of all my family Ah Lucy Girls are said to be women sooner than boys are men Let us see that they are so by their discretion as well as by stature—Let them stay—
And here Sir Thomas abruptly broke off the conversation for that time to the great distress of Lord L who had reason to regret that he had a man of wit rather than a man of reason, to contend with
Sir Thomas went directly into his closet and sent for his two daughters and tho not illnaturedly rallied t em both so much on their own discoveries as he wickedly phrased it and on admitting Lord L into the secret that neither of them could hold up their heads for two or three days in his presence But out of it Miss Caroline Grandison found that she was in Love and the more for Lord Ls generous attachment and Sir Thomass not so generous discouragement
My Lord wrote over to young Mr Grandison to favour his address Lady L permitted me to copy the following answer to his Application
My Lord
I HAVE the honour of your Lordships letter of the 17th Never brother loved his sisters better than I do mine As the natural effects of that Love
I receive with pleasure the notification of your great regard for my elder sister As to myself I cannot have one objection But what am I in this case She is wholly my fathers I also am his The consideration he gives me in this instance confounds me It binds me to him in double duty It would look like taking advantage of it were I so much as to offer my humble opinion unless he were pleased to command it from me If he does assure yourself my Lord that my sisters inclination in your Lordships favour presupposed my voice shall be warmly given as you wish I am my Lord with equal affection and esteem
Your Lordships faithful and obedient Servant
Both sisters rejoiced at the perusal of this affectionate letter for they were afraid that the unnatural prohibition of correspondence between them and their brother had estranged his affections from them
The particulars of one more conversation I will give you between my Lord and Sir Thomas on this important subject for you must believe Lord L could not permit a matter of such consequence to his own happiness to go easily off especially as neither of the two daughters were able to stand their fathers continual raillery which had banished from the cautious eyes and apprehensive countenances of both Ladies all indications of Love tho it reigned with the more absolute power in the heart of Miss Caroline for that concealment
In this conversation my Lord began with a little more spirit than he finished the former. The Countess lent me my Lords minutes of it which he took for her to see and to judge of all that passed at the time
On my Lords lively but respectful address to Sir Thomas on the occasion the Baronet went directly into the circumstances of my Lord and his expectations
Lord L told him frankly that he paid interest for 15000 l for sisters fortunes three of whom were living and single That he believed two of them would soon be advantageously married and he should wish to pay them their portions on the day and was contriving to do so by increasing the incumbrance that his father had left upon the finest part of his estate to the amount of 5000 l which and his sisters fortunes were all that lay upon a clear estate of 5000 l a year After he had thus opened himself he referred the whole to Sir Thomass consideration
My advice my Lord is this said the Baronet That you should by no means think of marriage till you are clear of the world You will have 10000 l to pay directly You will have the interest of 10000 l more to pay And you men of title on your marriages whather you like ostentation or not must be ostentatious Your equipages your houses your furniture—A certain increase of expence—By no means my Lord L think of marriage till you are quite clear of the world unless you could meet with some rich widow or heiress who could do the business at once
Lord L could only at first urge his passion He durst not his daughters affection and the happiness of both which were at stake Sir Thomas opposed discretion to that plea Poor passion Lucy would be ashamed to see the sun if discretion were always to be attended to in treaties of this kind
Afterwards he told Sir Thomas that he would accept the Lady upon his own terms He besought his consent to their nuptials He would wait his own time and pleasure He would be content if he gave not Miss Caroline a single shilling
Sir Thomas was fretful—And so Loverlike you would involve the girl you profess to love in difficulties I will ask her if she wants for any-thing with me that a modest girl can wish for But to be serious it is a plaguy thing for a man to be obliged by the officious
Love as it is called of a pretender to his daughters to open his affairs and expose his circumstances to strangers I wish my Lord that you had let my girls alone I wish you had not found them out in their countryretirement I should have carried them to town as I told you in a few months Women so brought up so qualified and handsome girls are such rarities in this age and men worth having are so affrighted at the luxury and expensiveness of the modern women that I doubted not but the characters of my girls would have made their fortunes with very little of my help They have family my Lord to value themselves upon tho but spinsters And let me tell you since I shall be thought a more unnatural man than I am if I do not obey the present demand upon me to open my circumstances I owe my son a great deal more than 30000 l
I dont understand you Sir Thomas
Why thus my Lord I explain myself My father left me what is called rich I lessend the ready money which he had got together for a purchase he lived not to complete a great deal That I looked upon as a deodand So was not answerable for it And as I was not married my son had no right in it When I was married and he was given me—
Forgive me Sir Thomas Your son a right—And had not your other children—
No my Lord They were girls—And as to them had I increased my fortune by penuriousness instead of living like a man I was determined as to their fortunes—
But as I was saying when Lady Grandison died I think tho every father does not nor should I were he not the best of sons and did he expect it the produce of her jointure which is very considerable should have been my sons As to what I annually allowed him that it was my duty to allow him as my son and
for my own credit had his mother not brought me a shilling—Then my Lord I have been obliged to take up money upon my Irish estate which being a familyestate my son ought to have had come clear to him You see my Lord how I expose myself
You have a generous way of thinking Sir Thomas as to your son But a man of your spirit would despise me if I did not say that—
I have not so generous a way of thinking for my daughters—I will save your Lordship the trouble of speaking out because it is more agreeable from myself than it would be for any other man to do it But to this I answer that the late Earl of L your Lordships father had one son and three daughters—I have one son and two He was an Earl—I am but a simple Baronet—If 5000 l apiece is enough for an Earls daughters half the sum ought to do for a Baronets
Your fortune Sir Thomas—And in England where estates—
And where living my Lord will be five times more expensive to you than it need to be if you can content yourself to live where your estate lies—As for me I have lived nobly But had I been as rich as my father left me 5000 l should have done with a daughter I assure you You my Lord have your notions I have mine Money and a girl you expect from me I ask nothing of you As matters stand if my girls will keep and I hope they will I intend to make as good a bargain for them and with them as I can Not near 5000l apiece must they expect from me I will not rob my son more than I have done—See here is a Letter from him It is in answer to one I had written on the refusal of a wretch to lend me upon my Irish estate a sum that I wanted to answer a debt of honour which I had contracted at Newmarket unless my son tho it is an estate in see would join in the security Does not such a son as this deserve everything
I obtained a sight of this letter and here is a copy
Honoured Sir
I COULD almost say I am sorry that so superior a spirit as yours should vouchsafe to comply with Mr Os disagreeable and unnecessary demand But at least let me ask Why Sir did you condescend to write to me on the occasion as if for my consent Why did you not send me the deeds ready to sign Let me beg of you everdear and everhonourd Sir that you will not suffer any difficulties that I can join to remove to oppress your heart with doubts for one moment Are you not my father—And did you not give me a mother whose memory is my glory That I am under God is owing to you That I am what I am to your indulgence Leave me not any-thing! You have given me an education and I derive from you a spirit that by Gods blessing on my duty to you will enable me to make my own fortune And in that case the foundation of it will be yours and you will be entitled for that foundation to my warmest gratitude Permit me Sir to add that be my income ever so small I am resolved to live within it And let me beseech you to remit me but one half of your present bounty My reputation is established and I will engage not to discredit my father All I have ever aimed at is to be in condition rather to lay than to receive an obligation That your goodness has always enabled me to do And I am rich thro your munificence richer in your favour
Have you any thought Sir of commanding me to attend you at Paris or at the Hague according to the hopes you gave me in your last—I will not if you do me this honour press for a return with you to my native country But I long to throw myself at your feet and whereever the opportunity of that happiness shall be given me to assure you personally of the inviolable duty of
Your CHARLES GRANDISON
Must not such a letter as this Lucy have stung to the heart a man of Sir Thomas Grandisons pride If not what was his pride—Sir Thomas had as good an education as his son Yet could not live within the compass of an income of upwards of 7000 l a year His son called himself rich with 800 l or 1000 l a year and tho abroad in foreign countries desired but half that allowance that he might contribute by the other half to lessen the difficulties in which his father had involved himself by his extravagance
His father Lady L says was affected with it He wept He blessed his son and resolved for his sake to be more cautious in his wagerings than he had hitherto been Policy therefore would have justified the young gentlemans chearful compliance had he not been guided by superior motives O my dear the Christian Religion is a blessed religion How does honest policy as well as true greatness of mind recommend that noble doctrine of returning good for evil
MY Lord repeated his request that he might have Sir Thomass consent to his nuptials upon his own terms and promised never to expect a single shilling in dowry but to leave the whole of that to time and to his own convenience and pleasure
We know said Sir Thomas what all this means You talk my Lord like a young man You ought not to think You once said it yourself of involving a young woman you love as well as yourself in difficulties I know the world and what is best to be done if you will think no more of my daughter I hope she has discretion First Love is generally first Folly It is seldom fit to be encouraged Your quality my Lord to say nothing of your merit will procure you a rich
wife from the city And the city now is as genteel as polite as the court was formerly The wives and daughters of citizens poor fellows are apes of us gentry and succeed pretty well as to outward appearance in the mimickry You will by this means shake off all your fathers sins I speak in the language of young fellows who expect a father to live solely for them and not for himself Some sober young men of quality and fortune affrighted at the gaiety and extravagance of the modern women will find out my girls Who I hope will have patience If they have not let them pursue their inclinations Let them take their fill of Love as Solomon says and if they run their heads into an hedge let them stick there by the horns with all heart
See my dear what a man a rakish father is—O my good Lady Grandison how might your choice have punished your children
I pray to God Sir Thomas said my Lord bowing but angry I pray to God to continue me in a different way of thinking from yours if this be yours Give me leave to say you are too young a gentleman to be a father of grownup children But I must love Miss Grandison and still if possible poor young Lady more than ever for what has passed in this conversation And saying this he withdrew
Sir Thomas was very angry at this spirited speech He sent for his daughter and forbad her to receive my Lords addresses He orderd her never to think of him And directing Miss Charlotte to be calld in repeated his commands before her and threatened to turn them both out of his house if they presumed to encourage any address but with his knowledge And dont think said he of going on to engage your affections as a sensual forwardness is called and then hope to take advantage of my weakness to countenance your own I know the world I know your sex—Your sister I see Charlotte is a whining fool See how
she whimpers Begone from my presence Caroline And remember Charlotte for I suppose this impertinent Lords address to your sister will go near to set you agog that I expect whether absent or present to know of any application that may be made to you before your liking has taken root in Love as it is called and while my advice may have the weight that the permission or dissent of a father ought to have
They both wept courtesied and withdrew
At dinner Miss Caroline begged to be excused attending her gay and arbitrary father being excessively grieved and unfit as she desired her sister to say to be seen But he commanded her attendance
Miss Charlotte Grandison told me what this wicked man Shall I call Sir Charles Grandisons father so said on the occasion
Womens tears are but as the Poet says the sweat of eyes Carolines eyes will not misbecome them The more she is ashamed of herself the less reason will she give me to be ashamed of her—Let me see how the fool looks now she is conscious of her folly Her bashful behaviour will be an halfconfession and this is the first step to amendment Tell her that a womans grief for not having been able to carry her point has always been a pleasure to me I will not be robbed of my pleasure She owes it me for the pain she has given me
Lord L and she had parted He had on his knees implored her hand He would not he said either ask or expect a shilling of her father His estate would and should work itself clear without injury to his sisters or postponing their marriage Her prudence and generosity he built upon They would enable him to be just to every one and to preserve his own credit He would not he generously said for the beloved daughters sake utter one reflecting word upon her father after he had laid naked facts before her Those however would too well justify him if he did And
he again urged for her hand and for a private marriage Can I bear to think with patience my dearest Miss Grandison added he that you and your sister according to Sir Thomass scheme shall be carried to town with minds nobler than the minds of any women in it as adventurers or female fortunehunters to take the chance of attracting the eyes and hearts of men whether worthy or unworthy purely to save your fathers pocket No madam Believe me I love you not for my own sake merely tho heaven knows you are dearer to me than my life but for yours as well And my whole future conduct shall convince you that I do My Love madam has friendship for its basis and your worthy brother once in an argument convinced me that Love might be selfish that friendship could not and that in a pure flame they could not be disunited and when they were that Love was a cover only to a baseness of heart which taught the pretender to it to seek to gratify his own passion at the expence of the happiness or duty of the object pretended to be beloved
See my Lucy—Did we Girls ever think of this nice but just distinction before And is not friendship a nobler band than Love—But is not Lord L a good man Dont you love him Lucy—Why have I not met with these notions before in the men I have known
But Miss Caroline was not less generous than my Lord L No scheme of my fathers shall make me forget said she the merits of Lord L Your Lordships affairs will be made easier by time I will not embarrass you Think not yourself under any obligation to me Whenever any opportunity offers to make you easy all at once for a mind so generous ought not to be laid under difficulties embrace it Only let me look upon you as my friend till envy to an happier woman or other unworthiness in Caroline Grandison make me forfeit your good opinion
Generous creature said my Lord Never will I think of any other wife while you are single Yet will I not fetter her who would leave me free—May I madam hope if you will not bless me with your hand now that my letters will be received—Your father in forbidding my address to you has forbidden me his house He is and ought to be master in it—May I hope madam a correspondence—
I am unhappy said she that having such a brother as sister never had I cannot consult him The dear Charlotte is too partial to me and too apt to think of what may be her own case But my Lord I depend upon your honour which you have never given me reason to doubt that you will not put me upon doing a wrong thing either with regard to my duty to my father or to my own character Try me not with a view to see the power you have over me That would be ungenerous I own you have some Indeed a great deal
Tuesday Night
YOU may guess what were my Lords assurances on this generous confidence in him They agreed upon a private correspondence by letters—Ah Lady L was this quite right tho it came out happily in the event Does not concealment always imply somewhat wrong Ought you not to have done your duty whether your father did his or not Were you not called upon as I may say to a tryal of yours And is not virtue to be proved by tryal Remember you not who says
For what glory is it if when ye be buffeted for your faults ye shall take it patiently But if when ye do well and suffer for it ye take it patiently this is acceptable with God
—
But you Lady L had lost your excellent mother very early
The worthy young Lady would not however be prevailed upon to consent to a private marriage and my Lord took leave of her Their parting was extremely tender and the amiable Caroline in the softness of her heart overcome by my Lords protestations of everlasting Love to her in preference to all the women on earth voluntarily assured him that she never would receive any other proposal while he was living and single
Sir Thomas shewd himself so much displeased with Lord L for the freedom of his last speech that my Lord chose not to desire another audience of him and yet being unwilling to widen the difference he took polite leave of the angry Baronet in a letter which was put into his hands just before he had commanded Miss Caroline to attend him at dinner which she had begged to be excused doing
Dont you pity the young Lady Lucy in this situation Lord L having but a little before taken leave of her and set out for London
Miss Charlotte told her sister that were it she she should hardly have sufferd Lord L to go away by himself—Were it but to avoid an interview with a father who seemd to have been too much used to womens tears to be moved by them and who had such a satyrical vein and such odd notions of Love
I was very earnest to know what passed at this dinnertime
Miss Grandison said It is best for me to answer Miss Byrons curiosity I believe as I was a standerby and only my father and sister were the players
Players repeated Lady L—It was a cruel scene And I believe Miss Byron it will make you not wonder that I liked Lord L much the better for being rather a man of understanding than a man of wit
Miss Grandison began as follows
I went up with my fathers peremptory as I may call it to my sister
O my dear mamma said Caroline when she found she must go down on what a new occasion do I want your sweet mediation But Charlotte I can neither walk nor stand—
You must then lean upon me my dear and creep Love will creep they say where it cannot go
Wicked girl interrupted Lady L I remember that was what she said
I said it to make you smile if I could and take courage But you know I was in tears for you notwithstanding
You thought of what might befal yourself Charlotte
So I did We never I believe properly feel for others what does not touch ourselves
A compassionate heart said I is a blessing though a painful one And yet there would be no supporting life if we felt quite as poignantly for others as we do for ourselves How happy was it for my Charlotte that she could smile when the fathers apprehended lecture was intended for the use of both
I thank you for this Harriet You will not be long my creditor—But I will proceed
Caroline took my advice She leaned upon me and creep creep creep down she crept A fresh stream of tears fell from her eyes when she came to the diningroom door Her tremblings were increased And down she dropt upon a windowseat in the passage I can go no further said she
Instantly a voice that we knew must be observed alarmed our ears—Where are you Caroline Charlotte Girls where are you The housekeeper was in hearing and ran to us Ladies Ladies Your papa calls—And we in spite of the weakness of the one and the unwillingness of the other recovered our feet and after half a dozen creeping motions more
found ourselves within the door and in our fathers sight my sister leaning upon my arm
What devils in the wind now What tragedymovements are here—What measured steps—In some cases all women are natural actresses But come Caroline the play is over and you mistake your cue
Good Sir—Her hands held up—I wept for her and for my own remoter case if you will Miss Byron
The prologue is yours Caroline Charlotte I doubt not is ready with her epilogue But come come it is time to close this farce—Take your places girls and dont be fools—A pretty caution thought I said Miss Charlotte when you make us both such
However the servants entering with dinner we hemmd handkerchiefd twinkled took up our knives and forks laid them down and took them up again when our fathers eye was upon us piddled sipped but were more busy with our elbows than with our teeth As for poor sister Caroline love stuck in her throat She tried to swallow as one in a quinsey a wry face and a straind neck denoting her difficulty to get down but a larks morsel—And what made her more aukward I am sure it did me was a pair of the sharpest eyes that ever were seen in a mans head and the man a father the poor things having no mother no aunt to support their spirits cast first on the one then on the other and nowandthen an overclouded brow adding to our aukwardness Yet still more apprehensive of dinnertime being over and the withdrawing of the servants
The servants loved their young Ladies They attended with very serious faces and seemed glad when they were dismissed
Then it was that Caroline arose from her seat made her courtesy aukwardly enough with the air of a boardingschool Miss her hands before her
My father let her make her honours and go to the door I rising to attend her but then called her back I dare say on purpose to enjoy her aukwardness and to punish her
Who bid you go Whither are you going Caroline Come back Charlotte—But it will be always thus A fathers company is despised when a girl gets a Lover into her head Fine encouragement for a father to countenance a passion that shall give himself but a second or third place who once had a first in his childrens affections But I shall have reason to think myself fortunate perhaps if my children do not look upon me as their enemy—Come back when I bid you
We crept back more aukwardly than we went from table
Sit down—We crossd our hands and stood like a couple of fools
Sit down when I bid you You are confoundedly humble I want to talk with you
Down sat the two simpletons their faces and necks all awry and on the edge of their chairs
Miss Grandison then gave the following dialogue She humourously by her voice an humble one for her sister a less meek one for herself an imperious one for Sir Thomas marked the speakers I will prefix their names
Sir Thomas What sort of leave has Lord L taken of you Caroline He has sent me a Letter Has he sent you one I hope he did not think a personal leave due to the daughter and not to the father
Charlotte He thought you were angry with him Sir said I Poor Carolines answer was not ready
Sir Tho And supposed that your sister was not Very well What leave did he take of you girl woman What do you call yourself
Charlotte Sir my Lord L I dare say intended no disrespect to—
I might as well have been silent Harriet
Sir Tho I like not your preface girl interrupted he—Tell me not what you dare say I spoke to your sister—Come sit upright None of your averted faces and wry necks A little more innocence in your hearts and youll have less shame in your countenances I see what a league there is between you A promising prospect before me with you both But tell me Caroline do you love Lord L Have you given him hope that you will be his when you can get the cross father to change his mind or what is still better out of your way for ever All fathers are plaguy illnaturd when they do not think of their girls fellows as their foolish girls think of them Answer me Caroline
Caroline weeping at his severe speech Whan can I say Sir and not displease you
Sir Tho What—Why that you are all obedience to your father Cannot you say that Sure you can say that
Car I hope Sir—
ir Tho And I hope too But it becomes you to be certain Cant you answer for your own heart
Car I believe you think Sir that Lord L is not an unworthy man
Sir Tho A man is not more worthy for making my daughter forget herself and behave like a fool to her father
Car I may behave like a fool Sir but not undutifully You frighten me Sir I am unable to hold up my head before you when you are angry with me
Sir Tho Tell me that you have broken with Lord L as I have commanded you Tell me that you will never see him more if you can avoid it Tell me that you will not write to him—
Car Pardon me Sir for saying that Lord Ls behaviour to me has been ever uniformly respectful He reveres my papa too How can I treat him with disrespect—
Sir Tho So I shall have it all out presently—Go on girl—And do you Charlotte attend to the lesson set you by your elder sister
Char Indeed Sir I can answer for the goodness of my sisters heart and for her duty to you
Sir Tho Well said Now Caroline do you speak up for Charlottes Heart One good turn deserves another But say what you will for each other I will be my own judge of both your hearts and facts shall be the test Do you know Caroline whether Charlotte has any Lover that is to keep you in countenance with yours
Car I dare say Sir that my sister Charlotte will not disoblige you
Sir Tho I hope Caroline you can say as much for Charlottes sister
Car I hope I can Sir
Sir Tho Then you know my will
Car I presume Sir it is your pleasure that I should always remain single
Sir Tho Heyday—But why pray does your ladyship suppose so—Speak out
Car Because I think forgive me to say it that my Lord Ls character and his quality are such that a more creditable proposal cannot be expected—Pray Sir forgive me And she held up her hands prayfashion thus—
Well said Caroline thought I—Pull up a courage my dear—What a duce—
Sir Tho His quality—Gewgaw—What is a Scotish peerage—And does your silly heart beat after a coronet—You want to be a Countess do you—But let me tell you that if you have a true value for Lord L you will not incumbred as he is with sisters fortunes wish him to marry you
Car As to title Sir that is of very little account with me without the good character—As to prudence
my Lord L cannot see any-thing in me to forfeit his prudence for
Well answered Caroline thought I In such a laudable choice all should not be left upon the poor Lovyer
Sir Tho So the difficulty lies not with you I find You have no objection to Lord L if he has none to you You are an humbled and mortified girl then The woman must be indeed in Love who once thinking well of herself can give a preference against herself to her Lover
What business had Sir Thomas to say this my Lucy
Sir Tho Let me know Caroline what hopes you have given to Lord L—Or rather perhaps what hopes he has given you—Why are you silent Answer me girl
Car I hope Sir I shall not disgrace my father in thinking well of Lord L
Sir Tho Nor will he disgrace himself proud as are the Scotish beggars of their ancestry in thinking well of a daughter of mine
Car Lord L tho not a beggar Sir would think it an honour Sir—
Sir Tho Well said Go on Go on Why stops the girl—And so he ought But if Lord L is not a beggar for my daughter let not my daughter be a beggar for Lord L But Lord L would think it an honour you say—To be what—Your husband I suppose Answer my question How stand matters between you and Lord L
Car I cannot such is my unhappiness say anything that will please my father
Sir Tho How the girl evades my question—Dont let me repeat it
Car It is not disgraceful I hope to own that I had rather be—
There she stopt and halfhid her face in her bosom
And I thought said Miss Grandison that she never lookd prettier in her life
Sir Tho Rather be Lord Ls wife than my daughter—Well Charlotte tell me when are you to begin to estrange me from your affections When are you to begin to think your father stands in the way of your happiness When do you cast your purveying eyes upon a mere stranger and prefer him to your father—I have done my part I suppose I have nothing to do but to allot you the fortunes that your Lovers as they are called will tell you are necessary to their affairs and then to lie me down and die Your fellows then with you will dance over my grave and I shall be no more remembred than if I had never been—except by your brother
I could not help speaking here said Miss Grandison O Sir how you wound me—Do all fathers—Forgive me Sir—
I saw his brow begin to lour
Sir Tho I bear not impertinence I bear not—There he stopt in wrath—But why Caroline do you evade my question You know it Answer it
Car I should be unworthy of the affection of such a man as Lord L is if I disowned my esteem for him Indeed Sir I have an esteem for Lord L above any man I ever saw You Sir did not always disesteem him—My brother—
Sir Tho So Now all is out—You have the forwardness—What shall I call it—But I did and I do esteem Lord L—But as what—Not as a soninlaw He came to me as my sons friend I invited him down in that character He at that time knew nothing of you But no sooner came a single man into a single womans company but you both wanted to make a match of it You were dutiful And he was prudent Prudent for himself I think you talkd of his prudence a while ago He made his application to you or you to him I know not which—Then
how poor Caroline wept And I said Miss Charlotte could hardly forbear saying Barbarous And when he found himself sure of you then was the fool the father to be consulted And for what Only to know what he would do for two people who had left him no option in the case And this is the trick of you all And the poor father is to be passive or else to be accounted a tyrant
Car Sir I admitted not Lord Ls address but conditionally as you should approve of it Lord L desired not my approbation upon other terms
Sir Tho What nonsense is this—Have you left me any way to help myself—Come Caroline let me try you I intend to carry you up to town A young man of quality has made overtures to me I believe I shall approve of his proposals I am sure you will if you are not prepossessed Tell me are you have you left yourself at liberty to give way to my recommendation—Why dont you answer me—You know that you received Lord Ls addresses but conditionally as I should approve of them And your spark desired not your approbation upon other terms Come what say you to this—What are you confounded—Well you may if you cannot answer me as I wish If you can why dont you—You see I put you but to your own test
Car Sir it is not for me to argue with my father Surely I have not intended to be undutiful Surely I have not disgraced my family by admitting Lord Ls conditional—
Sir Tho Conditional—Fool—How conditional—Is it not absolute as to the exclusion of me or of my option But I have ever found that the man who condescends to argue with a woman especially on certain points in which nature and not reason, is concerned must follow her through a thousand windings and find himself farthest off when he imagines himself nearest and at last must content himself panting for
breath to sit down where he set out while she gambols about and is ready to lead him a new course
Car I hope—
Sir Tho None of your hopes—I will have certainty May I—Come Ill bring you to a point if I can woman as you are—May I receive proposals for you from any other man Answer me Yes or No Dont deal with me as girls do with common fathers—Dont be disobedient and then depend upon my weakness to forgive you I am no common father I know the world I know your Sex I have found more fools in it than I have made—Indeed no man makes or needs to make you fools You have folly deeprooted within you That weed is a native of the soil A very little watering will make it sprout and choak the noble flowers that education has planted I never knew a woman in my life that was wise by the experience of other people But answer me Say—Can you receive a new proposal or can you not
Caroline answerd only by her tears
Sir Tho Damnably constant I suppose—So you give up real virtue give up duty to a father for fidelity for constancy for a fictitious virtue to a Lover Come hither to me girl—Why dont you come to me when I bid you—
MISS Caroline arose Four creeping steps her handkerchief at her eyes brought her within her fathers reach He snatched her hand quickend her pace and brought her close to his knees Poor sister Caroline thought I O the ty—And I had like at the time to have added the syllable rant to myself—He pulled the other hand from her eye The handkerchief dropt He might see that it was wet and
heavy with her tears Fain would she have turnd her blubberd eye from him He held both her hands and burst out into a laugh—
And what cries the girl for Why Caroline you shall have a husband I tell you I will hasten with you to the London market Will you be offerd at Ranelagh market first the concert or breakfasting—Or shall I shew you at the opera or at the play Ha ha hah—Hold up your head my amorous girl You shall stick some of your mothers jewels in your hair and in your bosom to draw the eyes of fellows You must strike at once while your face is new or you will be mingled with the herd of women who prostitute their faces at every polite place Sweet impatient soul—Look at me Caroline Then he laughed again
Car Indeed Sir if you were not my father—
Well said Caroline thought I and trod on her toe
Sir Tho Heyday But what then
Car I would say you are very cruel
Sir Tho And is that all you would say poor soft thing in such circumstances to any other man Well but all this time you dont tell me still holding her hands whether any other man will not do as well as your Scotsman
Car I am not kindly used Indeed Sir you dont use me kindly I hope I am not an amorous creature as you call me I am not in haste to be married I am willing to wait your time your pleasure But as I presume that there can be no objection to Lord L I wish not to be carried to any London market
Sir Tho gravely If I am disposed to railly you Caroline if I am willing to pass off in a pleasant manner a forwardness that I did not expect in my daughter and for which in my heart I have despised the daughters of other men tho I have not told the wenches so I will
not be answered pertly I will not have you forget yourself
Car courtesying Good Sir permit me to withdraw I will recollect myself and be sorry—
Sir Tho And is it necessary for you to withdraw to recollect your duty—But you shall answer my question—How stand you and Lord L Are you resolved to have him and none other—Will you wait for him will he wait for you till death has numbered me with my ancestors
Car O Sir And she lookd down after her dropt handkerchief She wanted it and would have withdrawn one of her hands to reach it and when she could not the big tears running down her cheeks Yet she lookd pretty down she dropt on her knees—Forgive me Sir—I dread your displeasure—But must say that I am not an amorous girl And to convince you that I am not I will never marry any man living if it be not Lord L
I all this time was in agitations for my poor sister I tired three chairs and now lookd at her now from her then at my fingers ends wishing them claws and the man an husband instead of a father Indeed Miss Byron I could not but make Carolines treatment my own and in fancy not so very remote as you imagind Lady L Once I said to myself If some Lord L tenders himself to me and I like him I will not stand all this The first moonlight night if he urge me heartily and I am sure the parson is ready I will be under another protection despicably as I have always thought of runaway daughters—Should I have done right Miss Byron
The example Miss Grandison replied I—Such a mamma as you were blessed with The world that would have sat in judgment upon the flight of the daughter would not have known the cruel treatment of the father I believe my dear you are glad you
had not the trial And you see how Lady L is rewarded for her patient duty
Thats my good Harriet said Lady L I love you for your answer But Sister you leave me in too much distress You must release me from my knees and send me up to my chamber as fast as you can
A little patience Lady L—But what say my minutes—Miss Byron seems all attention This is a new subject to her She never had anybody to controul her
I think I could have borne any-thing from a father or mother said I had it pleased God to continue to me so dear a blessing
Fine talking Harriet said Miss Grandison But let me say that a witty father is not a desirable character—By the way ours was as cruel Shall I say it Lady L You are upon your knees you know to two very worthy sisters of his own One of them ran away from him to a relation in Yorkshire where she lives still and as worthy an old maid she is as any in the county The other died before she could get her fortune paid or she would have been married to a man she loved and who loved her But she left every shilling of her fortune to her maiden sister and nothing to my father
It is well my brother is not in hearing said Lady L He would not have borne the hundredth part of what we have said But sufferers will complain Remember however Charlotte that I am still upon my knees
See my Lucy Rakish men make not either good husbands or good fathers nor yet good brothers—But no wonder The narrowhearted creatures centre all their delight in themselves.—Finely do women choose who taken in by their specious airs vows protestations become the abject properties of such wretches Yet a reformed rake they say makes the best husband—Against general experience this is said—
But by whom By the vulgar and the inconsiderate only surely
Miss Grandison proceeded
Sir Tho You will never marry any other man living—And this is declared in order to convince me that you are not amorous—Quibbling nonsense—Had you not been amorous you had not put yourself into a situation that should give you courage to say this to me Bold fool Begone
She arose
Yet you shall not go holding both her hands And dare you thus declare yourself—What option I again ask you is left me—And yet Lord L and you as you pretended just now were determined only on a conditional courtship as I should or should not approve of it Consound your Sex This ever was and ever will be the case The blind god sets you out where you mean the best on a pacing beast you amble prance parade till your giddy heads turn round and then you gallop over hedge and ditch leap fences and duty decency and discretion are trodden under foot
Poor Miss Caroline said I Lucy to them both—I expected this cruel retort
I foresaw it replied Lady L And this kept me off so long from declaring my preference of Lord L to all the men in the world as in justice to his merit my heart several times bid me do without scruple
Begone from my presence said Sir Thomas proceeded Miss Grandison—Yet he still held her hands—That little witch I have been watching her eyes and every working muscle of her saucy face meaning poor me said Miss Grandison She takes part with you in all your distresses—You are forely distressed are you not—Am I not a tyrant with you both—You want to be gone both of you Then shall I be the subject of your free discourses All the resentment that now you endeavour to confine will then burst
out I shall be intitled to no more of your duty than is consistent with your narrow interest Lord L will be consulted in preference to me and have the whole confidence of my daughters against me I am now from this hour to be looked upon as your enemy and not your father But I will renounce you both and permit your brother the joy of my life and the hope of my better days to come over And he shall renounce you as I do or I will renounce him And in that case I shall be a father without a child yet three living by the best of women How would she—
I broke out here said Miss Grandison with an emotion that I could not suppress O my dear mamma How much do we miss you—Were you to have become angel when we were infants should we have missed you as we do now—O my dear mamma This this is the time that girls most want a mother—
I was about to sly for it I trembled at the sternness of my fathers looks on this apostrophe to my mother He arose Caroline dont stir said he I have something more to say to you Comehither Charlotte and held out both his hands—You have burst out at last I saw your assurance swelling to your throat—
I threw myself at his feet and besought him to forgive me
But taking both my hands in one of his as I held them up folded—Curse me if I do said he I was willing you should be present in hopes to make you take warning by your sisters folly and inconsistency Lord L has been a thief in my house He has stolen my elder daughters affections from me Yet has drawn her in as pretending that he desired not her favour but as I approved of his addresses I do not approve of them I hope I may be allowed to be my own judge in this case She however declares she will have nobody else And have I brought up my
children till the years that they should be of use and comfort to me and continued a widower myself for their sakes So my father was pleased to say said Miss Grandison and all for a man I approve not—And do you Charlotte call your blessed mother from her peaceful tomb to relieve you and your sister against a tyrantfather—What comfort have I in prospect before me from such daughters—But leave me Leave my house Seek your fortunes where you will Take your cloaths Take all that belongs to you But nothing that was your mothers I will give you each a draught on my banker for 500 l When that is gone according to what I shall hear of your behaviour you shall or shall not have more
Dear Sir said Caroline flinging herself on her knees by me forgive my sister—Dear good Sir whatever becomes of me forgive your Charlotte
Sir Tho You are fearless of your destiny Caroline You will throw yourself into the arms of Lord L I doubt not—I will send for your brother But you shall both leave this house I will shut it up the moment you are gone It shall never again be opend while I live When my ashes are mingled with those of your mother then may you keep open house in it and trample under foot the ashes of both
I sobbed out Dear Sir forgive me I meant not to reflect upon my father when I wishd for my mother I wishd for her for your sake Sir as well as for ours She would have mediated—She would have softend—
Sir Tho My hard heart—I know what you mean Charlotte
And flung from us a few paces walking about in wrath leaving us kneeling at his vacant chair
He then ringing the bell the door in his hand ordered in the housekeeper She enterd A very good woman she was She trembled for her kneeling Ladies
Sir Th Beckford do you assist these girls in getting up every thing that belongs to them Give me an inventory of what they take Their fathers authority is grievous to them They want to shake it off They find themselves womengrown They want husbands—
Indeed indeed Beckford we dont said Caroline interrupted by my father—
Do you give me the lye boldface—
Pray your honour—Good your honour—intreated honest Beckford never were modester young Ladies They are noted all over the county for their modesty and goodness—
Woman woman argue not with me Modesty never forgets duty Caroline loves not her father Lord L has stolen away her affections from me Charlotte is of her party And so are you I find But take my commands in silence—A week longer they stay not in this house—
Beckford throwing herself on her knees repeated—Good your honour—
We both arose and threw ourselves at his feet—
Forgive us I beseech you forgive us—For my mammas sake forgive us—said Caroline—
For my mammas sake for my brothers sake dear Sir forgive your daughters cried I in as rueful an accent
And we each of us took hold of his opend coat both in tears and Beckford keeping us company
Unmoved he went on—I intend you a pleasure girls I know you want to be freed from my authority You are womengrown The man who has daughters knows not discomfort with them till busy fellows bid them look out of their fathers house for that happiness which they hardly ever find but in it
We are yours my papa said I—We are nobodys else—Do not do not expose your children to the
censures of the world Hitherto our reputations are unsullied—
Dear Sir cried Caroline throw us not upon the world the wide world Dear Sir continue us in your protection We want not to be in any other
You shall try the experiment girls—I am not fit to be your counsellor Lord L has distanced me with the one The other calls upon her departed mother to appear to shield her from the cruelty of an unnatural father And Lord L has the insolence to tell me to my face that I am too young a father to take upon me the management of womengrown daughters And so I find it Blubber not Beckford assist your young Ladies for their departure A week is the longest time they have to stay in this house I want to shut it up Never more to enter its gates
We continued our pleadings
O Sir said Caroline turn not your children out of doors We are daughters We never more wanted a fathers protection than now
What have we done Sir cried I to deserve being turned out of your doors—For every offensive word we beg your pardon You shall always have dutiful children of us Permit me to write to my brother—
So so You mend the matter You want to interest your brother in your favour—You want to appeal to him do you and to make a son sit in judgment upon his father—Prate not girls Intreat not—Get ready to be gone I will shut up this house—
Whereever you are Sir intreated I there let us be—Renounce not your children your penitent children
He proceeded I suppose Lord L will as soon find out your person Caroline as he has your inclinations so contrary to my liking As to you Charlotte you may go down to your old aunt Prue in
Yorkshire He calls their aunt Eleanor so from the word Prude—Yet we have seen Lucy it was owing to him that this Lady did not marry She will be able to instruct you that patience is a virtue and that you ought not to be in haste to take a first offer for fear you should not have a second
Poor sister Caroline He lookd disdainfully at her
You are my father Sir said she All is welcome from you But you shall have no cause to reproach me I will not be in haste And here on my knees I promise that I will never be Lord Ls without your consent I only beg of you Sir not to propose to me any other man
My father partly relented partly Harriet I take you at your word And I insist that you shall not correspond with him nor see him—You answer not to that But you know my will And once more answer or not I require your obedience Beckford you may go Rise Caroline
And am I forgiven Sir said I—Dear Sir forgive your Charlotte—Yet Miss Byron what was my crime
Make the best use of the example before you Charlotte Not to imitate Caroline in engaging your affections unknown to me—Remember that She has her plagues in giving me plague It is fit she should Where you cannot in duty follow the example take the warning
Beckford was withdrawn He graciously saluted each girl And thus triumphantly made them express sorrow for—Do you know for what Harriet
I wish thought I to myself Lucy that these boisterous spirits either fathers or husbands were not generally most observed
But was Miss Grandisons spirit so easily subdued thought I
You smile Harriet What do you smile at
Will you forgive me if I tell you
I dont know
I depend on your goodnature I smiled to think Lady L how finely Miss Grandison has got up since that time
Miss Gr O the sly girl—Remember you not that I was before your debtor
A good hit I protest said Lady L Yet Charlotte was always a pert girl out of her fathers presence But I will add a word or two to my sisters narrative
My father kept us with him till he read Lord Ls Letter which he opend not till then and plainly as I saw to find some new fault with him and me on the occasion But I came off better than I apprehended I should at the time for I had not seen it Here is a copy of it
Lady L allowd me Lucy to take it up with me when we parted for the night
PERMIT me Sir by pen and ink rather than in person as I think it will be most acceptable to you to thank you as I most cordially do for the kind and generous treatment I have received at your hands during a whole months residence at Grandisonhall whither I came with intent to stay but three days
I am afraid I sufferd myself to be surprised into an undue warmth of expression when I last went from your presence I ask your pardon if so You have a right in your own child God forbid that I should ever attempt to invade it But what a happy man should I be if my Love for Miss Grandison and that right could be made to coincide I may have appeared to have acted wrong in your apprehension in applying myself first to Miss Grandison I beg Sir your pardon for that also
But perhaps I have a still greater fault to atone for I need not indeed acquaint you with it but had rather
intitle myself by my ingenuousness to your forgivness than wish to conceal any thing from you in any article of this high importance whether you grant it me or not I own then that when I last departed from your angry presence I directly went to Miss Grandison and on my knees implored her hand I presumed that an alliance with me was not a disgraceful one and assured her that my estate should work itself clear without any expectation from you as it will I hope in a few years by good management to which I was sure she would contribute But she refused me and resolved to await the good pleasure of her father yet giving me I must honestly add condescending hopes of her favour could your consent be obtained
Thus is the important affair circumstanced
I never will marry any other woman while there is the least shadow of hope that she can be mine The conversation of the best of young men your son for two months in Italy and one before that in some of the German courts has made me ambitious of following such an example in every duty of life And if I might obtain by your favour so dear a wife and so worthy a brother as well as so amiable a sister as Miss Charlotte the happiest man in the world would then be
Sir Your obliged and faithful servant L
Yet my father said Lady L called it an artful Letter and observed that Lord L was very sure of me or he had not offerd to make a proposal to me that deserved not to be excused You were aiming at prudence girl in your refusal I see that said my father You had no reason to doubt but Lord L would hereafter like you the better for declining marriage in that clandestine manner because the refusal would
give him an opportunity to make things more convenient to himself One half of a womans virtue is pride continued he I hope not truly said Lady L the other half policy If they were sure the man would not think the worse of them for it they would not wait a second question Had you had an independent fortune Caroline what woud you have done—But go you are a weak and yet a cunning girl Cunning is the wisdom of women Womens weakness is mans strength I am sorry that my daughters are not compounded of less brittle materials I wonder that any man who knows the sex marries
Thus spoke the rakish the keeping father Lucy endeavouring to justify his private vices by general reflexions on the sex And thus are wickedness and libertinism called a knowledge of the world a knowledge of human nature Swift for often painting a dunghil and for his abominable Yahoe story was complimented with this knowledge But I hope that the character of human nature the character of creatures made in the image of the deity is not to be taken from the overflowings of such dirty imaginations
What company my dear must those men be supposed to have generally kept How are we authorised to wish only that good is often produced out of evil as is instanced in two such daughters and such a son that a man of this cast had never had the honour to call a Lady Grandison by his name And yet Sir Thomass vices called forth if they did not establish her virtues What shall we say?
Whatever is is in its causes just
—But purblind man
Sees but a part oth chain the nearest link
His eyes not carrying to that equal beam
That poises all above
DRYD
I thought my Lucy that the conversation I have attempted to give would not tho long appear tedious to you being upon a new subject the behaviour of a freeliver of a father to his grownup daughters when they came to have expectations upon him which he was not disposed to answer and the rather as it might serve to strengthen us who have had in our family none but good men tho we have neighbours of a different character who have wanted to be acquainted with us in our resolution to reject the suits of libertine men by a stronger motive even than for our own sakes And I therefore was glad of the opportunity of procuring it for you and for our Nancy now her recoverd health will allow her to look abroad more than she had of late been used to do I am sure my grandmamma and my aunt Selby will be pleased with it because it will be a good supplement to the lessons they have constantly inculcated upon us against that narrowhearted race of men who live only for the gratification of their own lawless appetites and consider all the rest of the world as made for themselves the worst and most noxious reptiles in it
THUS far had the Ladies proceeded in their interesting story when the Letters of my grandmamma and aunt were brought me by a man and horse from London By my answer you will see how much I was affected by the contents The Ladies saw my uneasiness and were curious to know the cause I told them from whence the Letters came and what the subject was and that my aunt was to give for me next Saturday an answer to Lady D in person
I then retired to write When I had dispatched the messenger the Ladies wished to know the resolution I had come to I told them I had confirmed my negative
Miss Grandison with archness held up her hands and eyes I was vexed she did Then Charlotte said I spitefully you would not have declined accepting this proposal
She looked earnestly at me and shook her head Ah Harriet said she you are an unaccountable girl You will tell the truth but not the whole truth
I blushed as I felt and believe looked silly
Ah Harriet repeated she looking as if she would look me through
Dear Miss Grandison said I
There is some Northamptonshire gentleman of whom we have not yet heard
I was a little easier then But can this Lady mean any-thing particular She cannot be so ungenerous surely as to play upon a poor girl if she thought her entangled All I am afraid of is that my temper will be utterly ruined I am not so happy in myself as I used to be Dont you think Lucy that taking one thing with another I am in a situation that is very teazing—But let me find a better subject
THE Ladies at my request pursued their FAMILYHISTORY
Lord L and Miss Caroline went on hoping for a change in Sir Thomass mind He would no doubt they said have been overcome by the young Ladys duty and my Lord Ls generosity had he not made it inconvenient to himself to part with money
He went to town and carried his daughters with him and it is thought would not have been sorry had the Lovers married without his consent for he prohibited anew on their coming to town my Lords visits so that they were obliged to their sister as she
pleasantly had told Lady L for contriving to forward their interviews
Mean time my Lords affairs growing urgent by reason of his two sisters marrying he gave way to the offers of a common friend of his and Lord Ws to engage that nobleman who approved of the match to talk to Sir Thomas on the subject
Lord W and the Baronet met My Lord was earnest in the cause of the lovers Sir Thomas was not pleased with his interfering in his family affairs And indeed a more improper man could hardly have been applied to on the occasion For Lord W who is immensely rich was always despised by Sir Thomas for his avarice and he as much disliked Sir Thomas for what he called his profusion
High words passed between them They parted in passion and Sir Thomas resenting Lord Ls appeal to Lord W the sisters were in a worse situation than before for now besides having incurred the indignation of their father their uncle who was always afraid that Sir Thomass extravagance would reduce the children to the necessity of hoping for his assistance made a pretence of their fathers ill treatment of him to disclaim all acts of kindness and relation to them
What concernd the sisters still more was my Lords declared antipathy to their brother and that for no other reason but because his father who he was sure he said could neither love nor hate in a right place doated on him
In this sad situation were these Lovers when overtures were made to Sir Thomas for his younger daughter But tho Miss Charlotte gave him no pretence to accuse her of beginning a Loveaffair unknown to him yet those overtures never came to her knowledge from him tho they did from others And would you have wondered Harriet said she with
such treatment before my eyes as Caroline met with if I had been provoked to take some rash step
No provocation replyd I from a father can justify a rash step in a child I am glad and so I dare say are you that your prudence was your safeguard when you were deprived of that which so good a child might have expected from a fathers indulgence especially when a mother was not in being
Miss Grandison coloured and bit her lip Why did she colour
At last Sir Thomas took a resolution to look into and regulate his affairs preparative to the leave he intended to give to his beloved son to come over From his duty discretion and good management he was sure he said he should be the happiest of men But he was at a loss what to do with Mrs Oldham and her two children He doubted not but his son had heard of his guilty commerce with her Yet he cared not that the young gentleman should find her living in a kind of wifelike state in one of the familyseats And yet she had made too great a sacrifice to him to be unhandsomely used and he thought he ought to provide for his children by her
While he was meditating this change of measures that he might stand well with a son whose character for virtue and prudence made his father half afraid of him a proposal of marriage was made to him for his son by one of the first men in the kingdom whose daughter accompanying her brother and his wife in a tour to France and Italy saw and fell in Love with the young Gentleman at Florence And her brother gave way to his sisters regard for him for the sake of the character he bore among the people of prime consideration in Italy
Sir Thomas had several meetings on this subject both with the brother and the Earl his father and was so fond of bringing it to bear that he had thoughts of reserving to himself an annuity and
making over the whole of his estate to his son in favour of this match And once he said He should by this means do as Victor Amadeus of Savoy did rid himself of many incumbrances and being not a king was sure of his sons duty to him
The Ladies found a Letter of their brothers among Sir Thomass loose papers which shewed that this offer had been actually made him This is a copy of it
Dear and everhonoured Sir
I AM astonished at the contents of your last favour If the proposal made in it arose from the natural greatness of your mind and an indulgence which I have so often experienced what shall I say to it I cannot bear it If it proceed from proposals made to you God forbid that I should give your name to a woman how illustrious soever in her descent and how high soever the circumstances of her family whose friends could propose such conditions to my father
I receive with inexpressible joy so near an hope of the long wishedfor leave to throw myself at your feet in my native country When I have this happiness granted me I will unbosom my whole heart to my father The credit of your name and the knowledge every one has of your goodness to me will be my recommendation whenever you shall wish me to enlarge the family connexions
Till I have this honour I beseech you Sir to discontinue the treaty already begun
You are pleased to ask my opinion of the Lady and whether I have any objection to her person I remember I thought her a very agreeable woman
You mention Sir the high sense the Lady as well as Lord and Lady N have of the civilities they received from me My long residence abroad gave me the power of doing little offices for those of my country who visited France and Italy Those services
are too gratefully rememberd by my Lord and the Ladies
I am extremely concernd that you have reason to be displeased with any part of the conduct of my sisters Can the daughters of such a mother as you had the happiness to give them forget themselves Their want of consideration shall receive no countenance from me I shall let them know that my Love my esteem if it be of consequence with them is not founded on relation but merit And that where duty to a parent is wanting all other good qualities are to be suspected
You ask my opinion of my Lord L and whether he has sought to engage me to favour his address to your Caroline He wrote to me on that subject I inclose his Letter and a copy of my answer As to my opinion of him I must say that I have not met with any British man abroad of whose discretion sobriety and goodnature I think more highly than I do of Lord Ls Justice requires of me this testimony But as to the affair between him and my sister I shall be extremely sorry if Lord Ls first impropriety of behaviour were to you and if my sister has sufferd her heart to be engaged against her duty
You have the goodness to say that my return will be a strengthening of your hands May my own be weakend May I ever want the power to do good to myself or to those I love when I forget or depart from the duty owing to the most indulgent of fathers by
His CHARLES GRANDISON
WHAT an excellent young man is this—But observe Lucy he says he will on his return to England unbosom his whole heart to his father and till then he desires him to discontinue the begun treaty with Lord N—Ah my dear—What has any new acquaintance to expect were she to be intangled in a hopeless
passion But let us consider—Had Sir Charles been actually married would his being so have enabled a womans reason to triumph over her passion—If so passion is surely conquerable And did I know anybody that woud allow it to be so in the one case and not in the other I would bid her take shame to herself and with deep humiliation mourn her ungovernable folly
The above Letter came not to the hands of the young Ladies till after their fathers death which happend within a month of his receiving it and before he had actually given permission for the young gentlemans return You may suppose they were excessively affected with the bad impressions their father had sought to make in their brothers heart of their conduct and when he died were the more apprehensive of their force
He had suspended the treaty of marriage for his son till the young gentleman should arrive He had perplexed himself about his private affairs which by long neglect became very intricate and of consequence must be very irksome for such a man to look into He was resolved therefore to leave it to each steward having persuaded himself against appearances to have a good opinion of both to examine the accounts of the other not only as this would give the least trouble to himself but as they had several items to charge which he had no mind should be explained to his son Nor were those gentlemen less solicitous to obtain discharges from him for being apprised of his reason for looking into his affairs they were afraid of the inspection of so good a manager as their young master was known to be
Mr Filmer the steward for the Irish estate came over on this occasion with his accounts The two stewards acted in concert and on the report of each Sir Thomas examined totals only and orderd releases to be drawn for his signing
What a degrader even of high spirits is vice What meanness was there in Sir Thomass pride To be afraid of the eye of a son of whose duty he was always boasting
But who shall answer for the resormation of an habitual libertine when a temptation offers Observe what followed
Mr Filmer knowing Sir Thomass frailty had brought over with him and with a view to ensnare the unhappy man a fine young creature not more than sixteen on pretence of visiting her aunt who lived in Pallmall and who was a relation of his wife She was innocent of actual crime But her parents had no virtue and had not made it a part of the young womans education but had on the contrar• brought her up with a notion that her beauty would make her fortune and she knew it was all the fortune they had to give her
Mr Filmer in his attendances on Sir Thomas was always praising the beauty of Miss Obrian her genteel descent as well as figure her innocence Innocence the Attractive equally to the attempts of Rakes and Devils But the Baronet intent upon pursuing his better schemes for some time only gave the artful man the hearing At last however for curiositysake he was prevailed upon to make the aunt a visit The niece was not absent She more than answered all that Filmer had said in her praise as to the beauty of her person Sir Thomas repeated his visits The girl was well tutored behaved with prudence with reserve rather and in short made such an impression on his heart that he declared to Filmer that he could not live without her
Advantage was endeavoured to be taken of his insatuation He offered high terms But for some time the aunt insisted upon his marrying her niece
Sir Thomas had been too long a leader in the free world to be so takenin as it is called But at last a
proposal was made him from no part of which the aunt declared she would recede tho the poor girl who it was pretended loved him above all the men she had ever seen were to break her heart for him A fine piece of flattery Lucy to a man who numbered near three times her years and who was still fond of making conquests
The terms were That he should settle upon the young woman 500 l a year for her life and on her father and mother if they could be brought to consent to the infamous bargain 200 l a year for their joint and separate lives That Miss Obrien should live at one of Sir Thomass seats in England be allowed genteel equipages his livery and even for her creditsake in the eye of her own relations who were of figure to be connived at in taking his name The aunt left it to his generosity to reward her for the part she had taken and was to take to bring all this about with the parents and girl
Sir Thomas thought these demands much too high He stood out for some time but artifice being used on all sides to draw him on Love as it is called prostituted word obliged him to comply
His whole concern was now how to provide for this new expence without robbing as he called it his son daughters were but daughters and no part of the question with him and to find excuses for continuing the young gentleman abroad
Mrs Oldham had for some time past been uneasy herself and made him so by her compunction on their guilty commerce and now lately on Sir Thomass communicating his intention to recal his son had hinted her wishes to be allowed to quit the house in Essex and to retire both from that and him for fear of making the young gentleman as much her enemy as the two sisters avowedly were
Mrs Oldhams proposal now that he was acquainted with Miss Obrian was better relished by Sir Thomas than when it was first made And before he actually signed and sealed with the aunt for her niece he thought it was best to sound that unhappy woman whether she in earnest desired to retire and if so what were her expectations from him Resolving in order to provide for both expences to cut down timber that he said groaned for the ax but which hitherto he had let stand as a resource for his son and to enable him to clear incumbrances that he had himself laid upon a part of his estate
Accordingly he set out for his seat in Essex
THERE while he was planning future schemes of living and reckoning upon his savings in several articles in order the better to support an expence so guiltily to be incurred and had actually begun to treat with Mrs Oldham who agreed at the first word to retire not knowing but his motive poor man as well as hers was reformation There was he attacked by a violent fever which in three days deprived him of the use of that reason which he had so much abused
Mr Bever his English steward posted down on the first news he had of his being taken ill hoping to get him to sign the readydrawn up releases But the eagerness he shewed to have this done giving cause of suspicion to Mrs Oldham she would not let him see his master tho he arrived on the second day of Sir Thomass illness which was before the fever had seized his brain
Mr Filmer had been to meet and conduct to London Mrs Obrian the mother of the girl who came over to see the sale of the poor victims honour completed Could you have thought Lucy there was such a mother in the world and it was not till the fifth day of the unhappy mans illness that he got to him with his releases also ready drawn up as well
as the articles between him and the Obrians in hopes to find him well enough to sign both He was in a visible consternation when he found his master so ill He would have staid in the house to watch the event but Mrs Oldham not permitting him to do so he put up at the next village in hopes of a favourable turn of the distemper
On the sixth day the physicians giving no hopes of Sir Thomass recovery Mrs Oldham sent to acquaint the two young Ladies with his danger and they instantly set out to attend their father
They could not be supposed to love Mrs Oldham and taking Mr Grandisons advice who accompanied them they let the unhappy gentlewoman know that there was no farther occasion for her attendance on their father She had prudently before that she might give the less offence to the two Ladies removed her son by her former husband and her two children by Sir Thomas but insisted on continuing about him and in the house as well from motives of tenderness as for her own security lest she should be charged with embezlements for she expected not mercy from the family if Sir Thomas died
Poor woman what a tenure was that by which she held
Miss Caroline consented and brought her sister to consent that she should stay absolutely against Mr Grandisons advice who libertine as he was himself was very zealous to punish a poor Magdalen who tho faulty was not so faulty as himself Wicked people I believe my dear are the severest punishers of those wicked people who administer not to their own particular gratifications Can mercy be expected from such Mercy is a virtue
It was shocking to the last degree to the worthy daughters to hear their raving father call upon nobody so often as upon Miss Obrian tho they then knew nothing of the girl nor of the treaty on foot for her
nor could Mrs Oldham inform them who or what she was Sometimes when the unhappy man was quietest he would call upon his son in words generally of kindness and Love Once in particular crying out—O save me save me my Grandison by thy presence I shall be consumed by the fire that is already lighted up in my boiling blood
On the ninth day no hope being left and the physicians declaring him to be a dying man they dispatched a Letter by a messenger to hasten over their brother who having left his ward Miss Emily Jervois at Florence in the protection of the worthy Dr Bartlett was come to Paris as he had written in expectation of receiving there his fathers permission to return to England
On the eleventh day of his illness Sir Thomas came a little to himself He knew his daughters He wept over them He wishd he had been kinder to them He was sensible of his danger Several times he lifted up his feeble hands and dying eyes repeating God is just I am I have been very wicked Repentance Repentance how hard a task said he once to the minister who attended him and whose prayers he desired—And Mrs Oldham once coming in his sight—O Mrs Oldham said he what is this world now What woud I give—But repent repent—Put your good resolutions in practice lest I have more souls than my own to answer for
Soon after this his delirium returnd and he expired about eleven at night in dreadful agonies Unhappy man—Join a tear with mine my Lucy on the awful exit of Sir Thomas Grandison tho we knew him not
Poor man in the pursuit—Poor man—He lived not to see his beloved son—
The two daughters and Mr Grandison and Mrs Oldham for her own security put their respective seals on every place at that house where papers or
any-thing of value were supposed to be reposited And Mr Grandison assuming that part of the management dismissed Mrs Oldham from the house and would not permit her to take with her more than one suit of cloaths besides those she had on She wept bitterly and complained of harsh treatment But was not pitied and was referred by Mr Grandison to his absent cousin for still more rigorous justice
She appealed to the ladies but they reproachd her with having lived a life of shame against better knowledge and said That now she must take the consequence Her punishment was but beginning Their brother would do her strict justice they doubted not But a man of his virtue they were sure would abhor her She had misled their father they said It was not in his temper to be cruel to his children She had lived upon their fortunes and now they had nothing but their brothers favour to depend upon
Daughters so dutiful my Lucy did right to excuse their father all they could But Mrs Oldham sufferd for all
I AM so much interested in this important history▪ that I have not the heart to break into it to tell you how very agreeably I pass my time with these ladies and Lord L in those parts of the day when we are all assembled Miss Emily has a fine mind gentle delicate innocently childish beyond her stature and womanly appearance but not her years The two Ladies are very good to her Lord L is an excellent man
This is Friday morning And no Sir Charles Canterbury is surely a charming place Was you ever at Canterbury Lucy
Tomorrow Lady D is to visit my aunt My letter to my aunt will be in time I hope I long to
know—Yet why should I—But Lady D is so good a woman I hope she will take kindly my denial and look upon it as an absolute one
I have a great deal more of the familyhistory to give you I wish I could write as fast as we can talk But Lucy concerning the Lady with whose father Sir Thomas was in treaty for his son Dont you want to know something more about her—But ah my dear be this as it may there is a Lady in whose favour both sisters interest themselves I have found that out Nor will it be long I suppose before I shall be informed who she is and whether or not Sir Charles encourages the proposal
Adieu my Lucy You will soon have another Letter from
Your HARRIET BYRON
YOU see my dear how many important matters depended on the conduct and determination of the young Baronet
Lord I was at this time in Scotland where he had seen married two of his three sisters and was busying himself in putting his affairs in such a way as should enable him to depend the less either on the justice or generosity of Sir Thomas Grandison whose beloved daughter he was impatient to call his
Miss Charlotte was absolutely dependent upon her brothers generosity and both sisters had reason to be the more uneasy as it was now in the worldlywise way of thinking become his interest to keep up the distance which their unhappy father had been sollicitous to create between them from a policy low and entirely unworthy of him
The unhappy Mrs Oldham had already received a severe instance of the change of her fortune and
had no reason to doubt but that the sisters who had always from the time she was set over them as their governess lookd upon her with an evil eye and afterwards had but too just a pretence for their aversion would incense against her a brother whose fortune had been lessend by his fathers profusion The few relations she had living were people of honour who renounced all correspondence with her from the time she had thrown herself so absolutely into the power of Sir Thomas Grandison And she had three sons to take care of
Bever and Filmer the English and Irish stewards were attending Sir Charless arrival with great impatience in hopes he would sign those accounts of theirs to which they had no reason to question but his father would have set his hand had he not been taken so suddenly ill and remained delirious almost to the end of his life
Miss Obrian her mother and aunt I shall mention in another place
Lord W had a great dislike to his nephew for no other reason as I have said than because he was his fathers favourite Yet were not his nieces likely to find their uncle more their friend for that He was indeed almost entirely under the management of a woman who had not either the birth the education the sense or moderation of Mrs Oldham to put in the contrary scale against her lost virtue but abounded it seems in a low selfish cunning by which she never failed to carry every point she set her heart upon For as is usual they say with these keeping men Lord W would yield up to avoid her teazing what he would not have done to a wife of fortune and family who might have been a credit to his own But the real slave imagined himself master of his liberty and sat down satisfied with the sound of word
The suspended treaty of marriage with Lord Ns sister was also to be taken into consideration either
to be proceeded with or broken off as should be concluded by both parties
This was the situation of affairs in the family when Sir Charles arrived
He returnd not an answer to his sisters notification of his fathers danger but immediately set out for Calais and the same day arrived at the house of his late father in St Jamess Square His sisters concluded that he would be in town nearly as soon as a Letter could come They therefore every hour for two days together expected him
Judge my dear from the foregoing circumstances sisterly Love out of the question which yet it could not be how awful must be to them after eight or nine years absence the first appearance of a brother on whom the whole of their fortunes depended and to whom they had been accused by a father now so lately departed of want of duty their brothers duty unquestionable
In the same moment he alighted from his postchaise the door was opend he enterd and his two sisters met him in the hall
The graceful youth of seventeen with fine curling auburn locks waving upon his shoulders delicate in complexion intelligence sparkling in his fine free eyes and good humour sweetening his lively features they remembred And forgetting the womanly beauties into which their own features were ripend in the same space of time they seemed not to expect that manly stature and air and that equal vivacity and intrepidity which every one who sees this brother admires in his noble aspect An aspect then appearing more solemn than usual an unburied and beloved father in his thoughts
O my brother said Caroline with open arms But shrinking from his embrace May I say my brother—and was just fainting He clasped her in his arms to support her—
Charlotte surprised at her sisters emotion and affected with his presence ran back into the room they had both quitted and threw herself upon a settee
Her brother followed her into the room his arm round Miss Carolines waist soothing her and with eyes of expectation my Charlotte said he his inviting hand held out and hastening towards the settee She then found her feet and throwing her arms about his neck he folded both sisters to his bosom Receive my dearest sisters receive your brother your friend assure yourselves of my unabated Love
That assurance they said was balm to their hearts and when each was seated he sitting over against them lookd first on one then on the other and taking each by the hand Charming women said he How I admire my sisters You must have minds answerable to your persons What pleasure what pride shall I take in my sisters
My dear Charlotte said Miss Caroline taking her sisters other hand has not our brother now we see him near all the brother in his aspect His goodness only looks stronger and more perfect What was I afraid of
My heart also sunk said Charlotte I know not why But we feared—Indeed Sir we both feared—O my brother—Tears trickling down the cheeks of each—we meant not to be undutiful—
Love your brother my sisters as he will endeavour to deserve your Love My mothers daughters could not be undutiful Mistake only Unhappy misapprehension We have all something—Shades as well as lights there must be—A kind a dutiful veil—
He pressed the hand of each with his lips arose went to the window and drew out his handkerchief
What must he have in his thoughts No doubt but his fathers unhappy turn and recent departure No wonder that such a son could not without pious
emotion bear the reflexions that must croud into his mind at that instant
Then turning towards them permit me my dear sisters said he to retire for a few moments He turnd his face from them My father said he demands this tribute I will not ask your excuse my sisters
They joined in the payment of it and waited on him to his apartment with silent respect No ceremony I hope my Caroline my Charlotte We were true sisters and brother a few years ago See your Charles as you saw him then Let not absence which has increased my Love lessen yours
Each sister took a hand and would have kissed it He clasped his arms about them both and saluted them
He cast his eye on his fathers and mothers pictures with some emotion then on them and again saluted each
They withdrew He waited on them to the stairhead Sweet obligingness Amiable sisters In a quarter of an hour I seek your presence
Tears of joy trickled down their cheeks In half an hour he joined them in another dress and resaluted his sisters with an air of tenderness that banished fear and left room for nothing but sisterly love
Mr Grandison came in soon after That gentleman who as I believe I once before mentioned had affected in support of his own free way of life to talk how he would laugh at his cousin Charles when he came to England on his pious turn as he called it and even to boast that he would enter him into the towndiversions and make a man of him was struck with the dignity of his person and yet charmed with the freedom of his behaviour Good God said he to the Ladies afterwards what a fine young man is your brother—What a self-denier was your father—
The Ladies retiring Mr Grandison enterd upon the circumstances of Sir Thomass illness and death which he told the sisters he touchd tenderly As tenderly I suppose as a man of his unfeeling heart could touch such a subject He inveighed against Mrs Oldham and with some exultation over her told his cousin what they had done as to her and exclaimd against her for the state she had lived in and the difficulty she made to resign Sir Thomas to his daughters care in his illness and particularly for presuming to insist upon putting her seal with theirs to the cabinets and closets where they supposed were any valuables
Sir Charles heard all this without saying one word either of approbation or otherwise
Are you not pleased with what we have done as to this vile woman Sir Charles
I have no doubt cousin replied Sir Charles that every thing was designd for the best
And then Mr Grandison as he told the sisters ridiculed the unhappy woman on her grief and mortified behaviour when she was obliged to quit the house where he said she had reigned so long Lady Paramount
Sir Charles askd If they had searchd for or found a will
Mr Grandison said They had lookd in every probable place but found none
What I think to do cousin said Sir Charles is to interr the venerable remains I must always speak in this dialect Sir with those of my mother This I know was his desire I will have an elegant but not sumptuous monument erected to the memory of both with a modest inscription that shall rather be matter of instruction to the living than a panegyric on the departed The funeral shall be decent but not ostentatious The difference in the expence shall be privately applied to relieve or assist distressed
housekeepers or some of my fathers poor tenants who have large families and have not been wanting in their honest endeavours to maintain them My sisters I hope will not think themselves neglected if I spare them the pain of conferring with them on a subject that must afflict them
These sentiments were new to Mr Grandison He told the sisters what Sir Charles had said I did not contradict him said he But as Sir Thomas had so magnificent a mind and always lived up to it I should have thought he ought to have been honoured with a magnificent funeral But I cannot but own however that what your brother said had something great and noble in it
The two Ladies on their brothers hinting his intentions to them acquiesced with all he proposed and all was performed according to directions which he himself wrote down He allowed of his sisters compliance with the fashion But he in person saw performed with equal piety and decorum the last offices
Sir Charles is noted for his great dexterity in business Were I to express myself in the language of Miss Grandison I should say that a sunbeam is not more penetrating He goes to the bottom of an affair at once and wants but to hear both sides of a question to determine; and when he determines his execution can only be staid by perverse accidents that lie out of the reach of human foresight And when he finds that to be the case yet the thing right to be done he changes his methods of proceeding as a man would do who finding himself unable to pursue his journey by one road because of a sudden inundation takes another which thoa little about carries him home in safety
As soon as the solemnity was over Sir Charles leaving every thing at Grandisorhall as he found it and the seals unbroken came to town and in the
presence of his sisters broke the seals that had been affixed to the cabinets and escrutoires in the house there
The Ladies told him that their bills were ready for his inspection and that they had a balance in their hands His answer was I hope my dear sisters we shall have but one interest It is for you to make the demands upon me and for me to answer them as I shall be able
He made memorandums of the contents of many papers with surprising expedition and then locked them up He found a bank note of 350l in the private drawer of one of the bureaus in the apartment that was his fathers Be pleased my sisters said he presenting it to Miss Caroline to add that to the money in your hands to answer family calls
He then went with his sisters to the house in Essex When there he told them it was necessary for Mrs Oldham who had lodgings at a neighbouring farmhouse to be present at the breaking of the seals as she had hers affixed and accordingly sent for her
They desired to be excused seeing her
It will be a concern to me said he to see her But what ought to be done must be done
The poor woman came with fear and trembling
You will not Lucy be displeased with an account of what passed on the occasion I was very attentive to it as given by Miss Grandison whose memory was aided by the recollection of her sister And as I am used to aim at giving affecting scenes in the very words of the persons as near as I can to make them appear lively and natural you will expect that I should attempt to do so in this case
Sir Charles not expecting Mrs Oldham would be there so soon was in his stud with his groom and coachman looking upon his horses For there were most of the hunters and racers some of the finest beasts in the kingdom
By mistake of Miss Carolines maid the poor woman was shewn into the room where the two Ladies were She was in great confusion courtesied wept and stood as well as she could stand but leaned against the tapestryhung wall
How came this said Miss Caroline to her maid She was not to be shewn in to us
I beg pardon courtesying and was for withdrawing but stopt on Charlottes speech to her—My brother sent for you madam—Not we I assure you—He says it is necessary as you thought fit to put your seal with ours to the lockedup places that you should be present at the breaking them Yet he will see you with as much pain as you give us Prepare yourself to see him You seem mighty unfit—No wonder
You have heard Lucy that Charlotte attributes a great deal of alteration for the better in her temper and even in her heart to the example of her brother
Indeed I am unfit very unfit said the poor woman Let me Ladies bespeak your generosity A little of your pity A little of your countenance I am indeed an unhappy woman
And so you deserve to be
I am sure we are the sufferers said Caroline
Lord L as she owned was then in her head as well as heart
If I may withdraw without seeing Sir Charles I should take it for a favour I find I cannot bear to see him I insist not upon being present at the breaking the seals I throw myself upon your mercy Ladies and upon his
Cruel girls shall I call them Lucy I think I will—Cruel girls They askd her not to sit down tho they saw the terror she was in And that she had the modesty to forbear sitting in their presence
What an humbling thing is the consciousness of having lived faultily when calamity seizes upon the
heart—But shall not virtue be appeased when the hand of God is acknowledged in the words countenance and behaviour of the offender Yet perhaps it is hard for sufferers—Let me consider—Have I from my heart forgiven Sir Hargrave Polvexfen I will examine into that another time
And so you have put yourself into mourning madam
Shall I say that Caroline said this and what follows Yet I am glad it was not Charlotte methinks for Caroline thought herself a sufferer by her in an especial manner—However I am sorry it was either
Pretty deep too Your weeds I suppose are at your lodgings—
You have been told Lucy that Mrs Oldham by many was called Lady Grandison▪ and that her birth her education good sense tho all was not sufficient to support her virtue against necessity and temptation poor woman might have given her a claim to the title
Indeed Ladies I am a real mourner▪ But I never myself assumed a character to which it was never in my thought to solicit a right
Then madam the world does you injustice madam said Charlotte
Here Ladies are the keys of the stores of the confectionary of the winevaults You demanded them not when you dismissed me from this house I thought to send them▪ But by the time I could provide myself with a lodging you were gone and left only two common servants besides the groom and helpers And I thought it was best to keep the keys till I could deliver them to your order or Sir Charless I have not been a bad manager Ladies considerd as an housekeeper All I have in the world is under the seals I am at yours and your brothers mercy
The sisters orderd their woman to take the keys
and bring them to the foot of their thrones Dear Ladies forgive me if you should by surprize see this I know that you think and act in a different manner now
Here comes my brother said Caroline
Youll soon know Madam what you have to 〈◊〉 to from him said Charlotte
The poor woman trembled and turned pale O how her heart must throb I warrant
SIR Charles enterd She was near the door His sisters were at the other end of the room
He bowed to her—Mrs Oldham I presume said he—Pray Madam be seated I sent to you that you might see the seals—Pray Madam sit down
He took her hand and led her to a chair not far distant from them and sat down in one between them and her
His sisters owned they were startled at his complaisance to her Dear Ladies they forgot at that moment that mercy and justice are sistergraces and cannot be separated in a virtuous bosom
Pray madam compose your self looking upon her with eyes of anguish and pity mingled as the Ladies said they afterwards recollected with more approbation than at the time What my Lucy must be the reflexions of this humane man respecting his father and her at that moment
He turnd to his sisters as if to give Mrs Oldham time to recover herself A flood of tears relieved her She tried to suppress her audible sobs and most considerately he would not hear them Her emotions attracting the eyes of the Ladies he took them off by asking them something about a picture that hung on the other side of the room
He then drew his chair nearer to her and again taking her trembling hand—I am not a stranger to your melancholy story Mrs Oldham—Be not discomposed—
He stopt to give her a few moments time to recover herself—Resuming See in me a friend ready to thank you for all your past good offices and to forget all mistaken ones
She could not bear this She threw herself at his feet He raised her to her chair
Poor Mr Oldham said he was unhappily careless Yet I have been told he loved you and that you merited his Love—Your misfortunes threw you into the knowledge of our family You have been a faithful manager of the affairs of this house—By written evidences I can justify you evidences that no one here will I am sure dispute
It was plain that his father had written in her praise as an oeconomist the only light in which this pious son was then willing to consider her
Indeed I have—And I would still have been—
No more of that madam Mr Grandison who is a goodnatured man but a little hasty has told me that he treated you with unkindness He owns you were patient under it Patience never yet was a solitary virtue He thought you wrong for insisting to put your seal But he was mistaken You did right as to the thing and I dare say a woman of your prudence did not wrong in the manner No one can judge of another that cannot be that very other in imagination when he takes the judgmentseat
O my brother O my brother—said both Ladies at one time—half in admiration tho halfconcernd at a goodness so eclipsing
Bear with me my sisters We have all something to be forgiven for
They knew not how far they were concernd in his opinion in the admonition from what their
father had written of them They owned that they were mortified Yet knew not how to be angry with a brother who tho more than an equal sufferer with them could preserve his charity
He then made a motion dinnertime as he said not being near for chocolate and referred to Mrs Oldham to direct it as knowing best where everything was She referred to the deliverdup keys Caroline called in her servant and gave them to her Sir Charles desired Mrs Oldham to be so good as to direct the maid
The Ladies easily saw that he intended by this to relieve the poor woman by some little employment and to take the opportunity of her absence to endeavour to reconcile them to his intentions as well as manner of behaving to her
The moment she was gone out of the room he thus addressed himself to the Ladies
My dear sisters let me beg of you to think favourably of me on this occasion I would not disoblige you for the world I consider not the case of this poor woman on the foot of her own merits with regard to us Our fathers memory is concernd Was he accountable to us was she for what each did—Neither of them was She is intitled to justice for its own sake To generosity for ours To kindness for my fathers Mr Grandison accused her of living in too much state as he called it Can that be said to be her fault With regard to us was it anybodys My fathers magnificent spirit is well known He was often at this house Whereever he was he lived in the same taste He praises to me Mrs Oldhams oeconomy in several of his Letters He had a right to do what he would with his own fortune It was not ours till now Whatever he has left us he might have still lessend it That oeconomy is all that concerns us in interest and that is in her favour If any act of kindness to my sisters was wanting from
the parent they will rejoice that they deserved what they hoped to meet with from him And where the parent had an option they will be glad that they acquiesced under it He could have given Mrs Oldham a title to a name that would have commanded our respect if not our reverence My sisters have enlarged minds They are daughters of the most charitable the most forgiving of women Mr Grandison it could not be you has carried too severe an hand towards her Yet he meant service to us all I was willing before I commended this poor woman to your mercy since it was necessary to see her to judge of her behaviour Is she not humbled enough From my soul I pity her She loved my father and I have no doubt but mourns for him in secret yet dares not own dares not plead her love I am willing to consider her only as one who has executed a principal office in this house It becomes us so to behave to her as that the world should think we consider her in that light only As to the living proofs unhappy innocents I am concernd that what are the delight of other parents are the disgrace of this But let us not by resentments publish faults that could not be hers only—Need I say more—It would pain me to be obliged to it With pain have I said thus much—The circumstances of the cafe are such that I cannot give it its full force I ask it of you as a favour not as a right I should hate myself were I capable of exerting to the utmost any power that may be devolved upon me that you will be so good as to leave the conduct of this affair to me You will greatly oblige me if you can give me your chearful acquiescence
They answerd by tears They could not speak
By this time Mrs Oldham returned and in an humble manner offerd chocolate to each young lady They bent their necks not their bodies with cold civility as they owned each extending her stately hand
as if she knew not whether she should put it out or not
Methinks I see them How could such gracious girls be so ungracious after what Sir Charles had said
Their brother they saw seemed displeased He took the salver from Mrs Oldham Pray madam sit down said he offering her a dish which she declined and held the toasted bread to his sisters who then were ready enough to take each some—And when they had drank their chocolate Now Mrs Oldham said he I will attend you—Sisters you will give me your company
They arose to follow him The poor woman courtesied I warrant and stood by while they passed And methinks I see the dear girls bridle and walk as stately and as upright as dutchesses may be supposed to do in a coronationprocession
Miss Grandison acknowledged that she grudged her brothers extraordinary complaisance to Mrs Oldham and said to her sister as arm in arm they went out Politeness is a charming thing Caroline
I dont quite understand it replied the other
They did not intend their brother should hear what they said But he did and turned back to them Mrs Oldham being at a distance and on his speaking low dropping still further behind them Dont you my sisters do too little and I will not do too much She is a gentlewoman She is unhappy from within Thank God you are not And she is not now nor ever was your servant
They reddened and looked upon each other in some confusion
He pressed each of their hands as in Love Dont let me give you concern said he only permit me to remind you while it is yet in time that you have an opportunity given you to shew yourselves Grandisons
When they came to the chamber in which Sir Thomas died and which was his usual apartment Mrs Oldham turned pale and begged to be excused attending them in it She wept You will find everything there Sir said she to be as it ought I am ready to answer all questions Permit me to wait in the adjoining drawingroom
Sir Charles allowd her request
Poor woman said he How unhappily circumstanced is she that she dares not in this company shew the tenderness which is the glory not only of the female but of the human nature
In one of the cabinets in that chamber they found a beautiful little casket and a paper waferd upon the back of it with these words written in Sir Thomass hand My wifes jewels c
The key was tied to one of the silver handles
Had you not my mothers jewels divided between you askd he
My father once shewd us this casket at Grandisonhall answerd Caroline We thought it was still there
My dear sisters let me ask you Did my father forbear presenting these to you from any declared misapprehension of your want of duty to him
No replied Miss Caroline But he told us they should be ours when we married You have heard I dare say that he was not fond of seeing us dressed
It must have been misapprehension only had it been so You could not be undutiful to a father
He would not permit it to be opend before him But presenting it to them Receive your right my sisters It is heavy I hope there is more than jewels in it I know that my mother used to deposit in it her little hoard I am sure there can be no dispute between such affectionate sisters on the partition of the contents of this casket
While their brother was taking minutes of papers c the ladies retired to open the casket
They found three purses in it in one of which was an India bond of 500 l inclosed in a paper thus inscribed by Lady Grandison—From my maiden money 120 Caroluses were also in this purse in two papers the one inscribed From my aunt Molly the other From my aunt Kitty
In the second purse were 115 Jacobuses in a paper thus inscribed by the same Lady Presents made at different times by my honoured mamma Lady W three bank notes and an India bond to the amount of 300 l
The third purse was thus labelled as Lady L shewed me by a copy she had of it in her memorandum book
For my beloved son In acknowledgement of his duty to his father and me from infancy to this hour Jan 1 17—Of his love to his sisters—Of the generosity of his temper never once having taken advantage of the indulgence shewn him by parents so fond of him that as the only son of an antient family he might have done what he pleased with them—Of his love of truth And of his modesty courage benevolence steadiness of mind docility and other great and amiable qualities by which he gives a moral assurance of making A GOOD MAN—GOD grant it Amen
The Ladies immediately carried this purse thus labelled to their brother He took it read the label turning his face from his sisters as he read—Excellent woman said he when he had read it Being dead she speaks May her pious prayer be answerd looking up Then opening the purse he found five coronationmedals of different princes in it and several others of value a gold snuffbox in
which wrapt in cotton were three diamond rings one fignified to be his grandfathers the two others an uncles and brothers of Lady Grandison But what was more valuable to him than all the rest the Ladies said was a miniature picture of his mother set in gold an admirable likeness they told me and they would get their brother to let me see it
Neglecting all the rest he eagerly took it out of the shagreen case gazed at it in silence kissed it a tear falling from his eye He then put it to his heart Withdrew for a few moments and returnd with a chearful aspect
The Ladies told him what was in the other two purses They said they made no scruple of accepting the jewels but the bonds the notes and the money they offerd to him
He askd If there were no particular direction upon either They answerd No
He took them and emptying them upon the table mingled the contents of both together There may be a difference in the value of each Thus mingled you my sisters will equally divide them between you This picture putting his hand on his bosom where it yet was is of infinite more value than all the three purses contained besides
You will excuse these particularities my dear friends But if you do not I cant help it We are all apt I believe to pursue the subjects that most delight us Dont grudge me my pleasure Perhaps I shall pay for it I admire this man more than I can express
Saturday Night—And no Sir Charles Grandison With all my heart
WHEN Sir Charles and his sisters had lookd over every other place in his fathers apartment they followed Mrs Oldham to hers
A very handsome apartment upon my word
How could Miss Grandison—She knew the situation the unhappy woman had been in Mistress of that house
Her brother lookd at her
Mrs Oldham shewed them which of the furniture and pictures some of the latter valuable ones she had brought into the house saved as she said from the wreck of her husbands fortune—But said she with the consent of creditors I for my part did not wrong anybody
In that closet Sir continued she pointing to it is all that I account myself worth in the world Mr Grandison was pleased to put his seal upon the door I besought him to let me take 50l out of it having but very little money about me But he would not His refusal besides the disgrace has put me to some shifts But weeping I throw myself upon your mercy Sir
The sisters frankly owned that they hardend each other by faultfinding They whisperd that she expected no mercy from them it was plain O what a glory belongs to goodness as well in its influences as in itself! Not even these two amiable sisters as Miss Charlotte once acknowleged were so noble in themselves before their brothers arrival as they are now
Assure yourself of justice madam said Sir Charles Mr Grandison is hasty But he would have done you justice I dare say He thought he was acting for a trust—You may have letters you may have things
here in this closet that we have no business with—Then breaking the seal I leave it to you to shew us any-thing proper for us to take account of The rest I wish not to see
My Ladies Sir—They will be pleased to—
YES Mrs Oldham said Caroline And was putting herself before her brother and so was her sister while Sir Charles was withdrawing from the closet But he took each by her hand interrupting Caroline—
No Mrs Oldham—Do you lay out things as you please We will step into the next apartment
He accordingly led them both out
You are very generous Sir said Miss Grandison
I would be so Charlotte Ought not the private drawers of women to be sacred
But such a creature Sir—said Miss Caroline—
Every creature is intitled to justice—Can Ladies forget decorum You see she was surprised by Mr Grandison She has sufferd disgrace Has been put to shifts
Well Sir if she will do justice—
Remember with looks of meaning whose housekeeper she was
They owned they were daunted And so dear Ladies you ought to have been but not convinced at that instant It is generous to own this because the acknowledgment makes not for your glory Ladies
Mrs Oldham with tears in her eyes came courtesying to the Ladies and their brother offering to conduct them into her closet They found that she had spread on her table in it and in the two windows and in the chairs letters papers laces fine linen c
These papers Sir said she belong to you I was bid to keep them safe Poor woman she knew not how to say by whom bid You will see Sir the seals are whole
Perhaps a will said he
No Sir I believe not I was told they belonged to the Irish estate Alas and she wiped her eyes I have reason to think there was not time for a will—
I suppose Mrs Oldham you urged for a will—said Miss Charlotte
Indeed Ladies I often did I own it
I dont doubt it said Miss Caroline
And very prudently said Sir Charles I myself have always had a will by me I should think it a kind of presumption to be a week without one
In this drawer Sir are the money and notes and securities that I have been getting together I do assure you Sir very honestly—pulling out a drawer in the cabinet
To what amount Mrs Oldham if I may be so bold askd Caroline
No matter sister Caroline to what amount said Sir Charles You hear Mrs Oldham say they are honestly got together I dare say that my fathers bounty enabled even his meanest servants to save money I would not keep one that I thought did not I make no comparisons Mrs Oldham You are a gentlewoman
The two Ladies only whisperd to each other as they owned So we think—Were there ever such perverse girls I am afraid my uncle will think himself justified by them on this occasion when he asserts that it is one of the most difficult things in the world to put a woman right when she sets out wrong If it be generally so with us I am sure we ought to be very careful of prepossession—And has he not said Lucy that the best women when wrong are most tenacious It may be so But then I hope he will allow that at the time they think themselves right
I believe there is near 1200 l said Mrs Oldham and lookd the Ladies observed as if she was afraid of their censures
Near 1200 l Mrs Oldham said Miss Charlotte
—Lord sister how glad would we have been sometimes of as many shillings between us
And what Caroline what Charlotte young Ladies as you were but growing up into women and in your fathers house would you have done with more than current money Now you have a claim to independency I hope that 1200 l will not be the sum of either of your stores
They courtesied they said but yet thought 1200 l a great saving—Dear Ladies how could you forget and what a pain would it have been for your brother to have reminded you that Mrs Oldham had two children to say nothing of a third
Trembling as they owned Here said she in this private drawer are some presents—I disclaim them If you believe me Ladies I never wishd for them I never was seen in them but once I never shall wear them—offering to pull out the drawer
Forbear Mrs Oldham Presents are yours The money in that drawer is yours Never will I either disparage or diminish my fathers bounty He had a right to do as he pleased Have not we to do as we please Had he made a will would they not have been yours—If you Mrs Oldham if you my sisters can tell me of any-thing he but intended or inclined to do by any one of his people that intention will I execute with as much exactness as if he had made a will and it was part of it Shall we do nothing but legal justice—The law was not made for a man of conscience
Lord bless me my Lucy what shall I do about this man
HERE would you believe it I laid down my pen ponderd and wept for joy I think it was joy that there is such a young man in the world for what else could it be—And now with a watry eye twinkle twinkle do I resume it
His sisters owned they were confounded but that still the time was to come when they were to approve from their hearts of what he said and did
Mrs Oldham wept at his goodness She wept I make no doubt also as a penitent—If my Ladies said she will be pleased to—And seemed to be about making an offer to them—of the jewels as I suppose
My sisters Mrs Oldham said Sir Charles interrupting her are Grandisons Pray madam—holding in her hand which was extended to the drawer—
She took out of another drawer 40 l and some silver This Sir is money that belongs to you I received it in Sir Thomass illness I have some other moneys and my accounts wanted but a few hours of being perfected when I was dismissed They shall be completed and laid before you
Let this money Mrs Oldham be a part of those accounts declining then to take it
There are Letters Sir said she I would withhold nothing from you I know not if among some things that I wish not anybody to see there are not concerns that you ought to be made acquainted with relating to persons and things particularly to Mr Bever and Mr Filmer and their accounts I hope they are good men—You must see these Letters I believe
Let me desire you Mrs Oldham to make such extracts from those Letters or any others as you think will concern me and as soon as you can For those gentlemen have written to me to sign their accounts which they hint had my fathers approbation
She then told Sir Charles as I have already related how earnest Mr Bever was to get to the speech of Sir Thomas and how mortified Mr Filmer was to find him incapable of writing his name which both said was all that was wanted
An honest man said Sir Charles fears not inspection
They shall want no favour from me I hope nothing but justice from them
She then shewed him some other papers and while he was turning them over the Ladies and she withdrew to another apartment in which in two mahogany chests was her wardrobe They owned they were curious to inspect it as she had always made a great figure She was intending to oblige them and had actually opend one of the chests and tho reluctantly taken out a gown when Sir Charles enterd
He seemed displeased and taking his sisters aside Tell me said he can what this poor woman seems to be about proceed from her own motion I beg of you to say you put her upon it I would not have reason to imagine that any woman in such circumstances could make a display of her apparel
Why the motion is partly mine I must needs say answerd Charlotte
Wholly I hope and the compliance owing to the poor womans mortified situation You are young women You may not have considerd this matter Do you imagine that your curiosity will yield you pleasure Dont you know what to expect from the magnificent and bountiful spirit of him to whose memory you owe duty
They recollected themselves blushed and desired Mrs Oldham to lock up the chest She did and seemed pleased to be excused from the mortifying task
Ah my Lucy one thing I am afraid of and that is that Sir Charles Grandison politely as he behaves to us all thinks us women in general very pitiable creatures I wish I knew that he did and that for two reasons That I might have something to think him blameable for And to have the pride of assuring myself that he would be convinced of that fault were he to be acquainted with my grandmamma and aunt
But do you wonder that the sisters whose minds were thus opend and enlarged by the example of such a brother blazing upon them all at once as I may say in manly goodness on his return from abroad whither he set out a stripling should on all occasions break out into raptures whenever they mention THEIR brother—Well may Miss Grandison despise her Lovers when she thinks of him and of them at the same time
Sunday Sir Charles is in town we hear Came thither but last night—Nay for that matter his sisters are more vexed at him than I am—But what pretence have I to be disturbed But I say of him as I do of Lady D He is so good that one would be willing to stand well with him—Then he is my Brother you know
AFTER Sir Charles had inspected into everything in this house and taken minutes of papers letters writings c and lockd up the plate and other valuables in one room he orderd his servants to carry into Mrs Oldhams apartment all that belonged to her and gave her the key of that and directed the housekeeper to be assisting to her in the removal of them at her own time and pleasure and to suffer her to come and go at all times with freedom and civility as if she had never left the house were his words
How the poor woman courtesied and wept I warrant The dear girls I am afraid then envied her—and perhaps expressed a grudging spirit for they said This was their brothers address to them at that time
You may look upon the justice I aim at doing to
persons who can claim only justice from me as an earnest that I will do more than justice to my beloved sisters And you should have been the first to have found the fruits of the love I bear you had I not been afraid that prudence would have narrowed my intentions The moment I know what I can do I will do it and I request you to hope largely If I have ability I will exceed your hopes
My dear sisters continued he and took one hand of each I am sorry for your spirits sake that you are left in my power The best of women was always afraid it would be so But the moment I can I will give you an absolute independence on your brother that your actions and conduct may be all your own
Surely Sir said Caroline and they both wept we must think it the highest felicity that we are in the power of such a brother As to our spirits Sir—
She would have said more but could not and Charlotte took it up where her sister left off Best of brothers said she—Our spirits shall as much as possible I can answer for both be guided hereafter by yours Forgive what you have seen amiss in us—But we desire to depend upon our good behaviour We cannot we will not be independent of you
We will talk of these matters replied he when we can do more than talk I will ask you Caroline after your inclinations and you Charlotte after yours in the same hour that I know what I can do for you both in the way of promoting them Enter mean time upon your measures Reckon upon my best assistance Banish suspense One of my first pleasures will be to see you both happily married
They did not say when they related this to me that they threw themselves at his feet as to their better father as well as brother But I fancy they did
He afterwards at parting with Mrs Oldham said
I would be glad to know madam how you dispose of yourself Every unhappy person has a right to the good offices of those who are less embarrassd When you are settled pray let me know the manner And if you acquaint me with the state of your affairs and what you propose to do for and with those who are intitled to your first care your confidence in me will not be misplaced
And pray and pray askd I of the Ladies what said Mrs Oldham How did she behave upon this—
Our Harriet is strangely taken with Mrs Oldhams story said Miss Grandison—Why she wept plentifully you may be sure She clasped her hands and kneeled to pray to God to bless him and all that—She could not do otherwise
See Lucy—But am I my grandmamma am I my aunt to blame Is it inconsistent with the strictest virtue to be charmed with such a story—May not virtue itself pity the lapsed—O yes it may I am sure you and Sir Charles Grandison will say it may A while ago I thought my self a poor creature compared to these two Ladies But now I believe I am as good as they in some things—But they had not such a grandmamma and aunt as I am blessd with They lost their excellent mother while they were young and their brother is but lately come over And his superior excellence like sunshine breaking out on a sudden finds out and brings to sight those spots and freckles that were hardly before discoverable
Sir Charles desired Mrs Oldham would give in writing what she proposed to do for herself and for those who were under her care She did at her first opportunity It was That she purposed going to London for the sake of the young peoples education Of turning into money what jewels cloaths and plate she should think above her then situation in life
Of living retired in a little genteel house And she gave in an estimate of her worth To what amount the Ladies know not but this they know that their brother allows her an annuity for the sake of her sons by his father And they doubt not but he will be still kinder to them when they are old enough to be put into the world
This the Ladies think an encouragement to a guilty life I will not dare to pronounce upon it because I may be thought partial to the generous man But should be glad of my uncles opinion This however may be said That Sir Charles Grandison has no vices of his own to cover by the extensiveness of his charity and beneficence and if it be not goodness in him to do thus it is greatness and this if it be not praiseworthy is the first instance that I have known goodness and greatness of soul separable
The brother and sisters went down after this to Grandisonhall and Sir Charles had reason to be pleased with the good order in which he found everything there
THE next thing the Ladies mentioned was Sir Charless management with the two stewards
I will not aim at being very particular in this part of the familyhistory
When Sir Charles found that his father had left the inspection of each stewards account to the other he enterd into the examination of the whole himself and tho he allowed them several disputable and unproved charges he brought them to acknowledge a much greater ballance in his favour than they had made themselves debtors for This was the use he made of detecting them to his sisters—You see
sisters that my father was not so profuse as some people thought him He had partners in his estate and I have reason to think that he often paid interest for his own money
On his settling with Filmer the treaty with Miss Obrien came out Mr Filmer had by surprize brought that beautiful girl into Sir Charless presence and he owned to his sisters that she was a very lovely creature
But when the mother and aunt found that he only admired her as a man would a fine picture they insisted that Sir Thomas had promised to marry Miss Obrien privately and produced two of his Letters to her that seemed to give ground for such an expectation Sir Charles was grieved for the sake of his fathers memory at this transaction and much more on finding that the unhappy man went down to his seat in Essex his head and heart full of this scheme when he was struck with his last fatal illness
A meeting was proposed by Filmer between Sir Charles the mother the aunt and himself at the aunts house in Pallmall Sir Charles was very desirous to conceal his fathers frailty from the world He met them But before he enterd into discourse made it his request to be allowed half an hours conversation with Miss Obrien by herself at the same time praising as it deserved her beauty
They were in hopes that she would be able to make an impression on the heart of so young and so lively a man and complied Under pretence of preparing her for so unexpected a visit her aunt gave her cue But instead of her captivating him he brought her to such confessions as sufficiently let him into the baseness of their views
He returned to company the young woman in his hand He represented to the mother the wickedness of the part she had come over to act in such strong terms that she fell into a fit The aunt was terrified
The young creature wept and vowed that she would be honest
Sir Charles told them That if they would give him up his fathers two Letters and make a solemn promise never to open their lips on the affair and would procure for her an honest husband he would give her 1000l on the day of marriage and if the made a good wise would be further kind to her
Filmer was very desirous to clear himself of having any hand in the blacker part of this plot Sir Charles did not seem solicitous to detect and expose him But left the whole upon his conscience And having made before several objections to his account which could not be so well obviated in England he went over to Ireland with Filmer and there very speedily settled every thing to his own satisfaction and dismissing him more genteelly than he deserved took upon himself the management of that estate directing several obvious improvements to be made which are likely to turn to great account
On his return he heard that Miss Obrien was ill of the smallpox He was not for her own sake sorry for it She sufferd in her face but still was pretty and genteel And she is now the honest and happy wife of a tradesman near Goldensquare who is very fond of her Sir Charles gave with her the promised sum and another 100 l for weddingcloaths
One part of her happiness and her husbands is that her aunt supposing she had disgraced herself by this match never comes near her And her mother is returnd to Ireland to her husband greatly dissatisfied with her daughter on the same account
While these matters were agitating Sir Charles forgot not to enquire what steps had been taken with regard to the alliance proposed between himself and Lady Frances N
He paid his first visit to the father and brother of that Lady
All that the sisters know of this matter is that the treaty was on this first visit entirely broken off Their brother however speaks of the Lady and of the whole family with great respect The Lady is known to esteem him highly Her father her brother speak of him everywhere with great regard Lord N calls him the finest young gentleman in England And so Lucy I believe he is Sir Charles Grandison Lord N once said knows better by noncompliance how to create friendships than most men do by compliance
Lady L and Miss Grandison who as I have before intimated have another Lady whom they favour once said to him that the Earl and his son Lord N were so constantly speaking in his praise that they could not but think that it would at last be a match between him and Lady Frances His answer was The Lady is infinitely deserving But it cannot be
I am ready to wish he would say what can be that we need not—Ah Lucy—I know not what I would say But so it will always be with silly girls that distinguish not between the would and the should One of which is
Your HARRIET BYRON
I WILL proceed with the familyhistory
Sir Charles forgot not on his arrival in England to pay an early visit to Lord W his mothers brother who was then at his house near Windsor
I have told you that my Lord had conceived a dislike to him and that for no other reason but because his father loved him Lord W was laid up with the gout when he came But he was instantly admitted to his stately presence The first salutations
on one side were respectful on the other coldly civil My Lord often surveyd his kinsman from head to foot as he sat as if he were loth to like him I suppose yet knew not how to help it He found fault with Sir Thomas Sir Charles told him That it was a very ingrateful thing to him to hear his father spoken slightly of He desired his Lordship to forbear reflections of that sort My father said he is no more I desire not to be made a party in any disputes that may have happend between him and your Lordship I come to attend you as a duty which I owe to my mothers memory and I hope this may be done without wounding that of my father
You say well said my Lord but I am afraid kinsman by your air and manner and speech too that you want not your fathers proud spirit
I revere my father for his spirit my Lord It might not always be exerted as your Lordship and his other relations might wish But he had a manly one As to myself I will help your Lordship to my character at once I am indeed a very proud man I cannot stoop to slatter and least of all men the great and rich Finding it difficult to restrain this fault it is my whole study to direct it to laudable ends and I hope that I am too proud to do anything unworthy of my fathers name or of my mothers virtue
Why Sir and lookd at him again from head to foot your father never in his whole life said so good a thing
Your Lordship knew not my father as he deserved to be known Where there are misunderstandings between two persons tho relations the character of either is not to be taken from the other But my Lord this is as I said before a visit of duty I have nothing to ask of your Lordship but your good opinion and that no longer than I deserve it
My Lord was displeased
You have nothing to ask
of me
—repeated he Let me tell you independent Sir that I like not your speech You may leave me if you please And when I want to see you again I will send for you
Your servant my Lord and let me say that I will not again attend you till you do But when you do the summons of my mothers brother shall be chearfully obeyed when perhaps this unkind treatment of Lord W might be remembred
The very next day my Lord hearing he was still at Windsor viewing the curiosities of the place sent to him He directly went My Lord expressed himself highly pleased with his readiness to come and apologized to him for his behaviour of the day before He called him nephew and swore that he was just such a young man as he had wishd to see Your mother used to say proceeded he that you could do what you would with her should you even be unreasonable And I beg of you to ask me no favour but what is fit for me to grant for fear I should grudge it after I had granted it and call in question what no man is willing to do my own discretion
He then askd him about the methods he intended to take with regard to his way of life Sir Charles answered That he was resolved to dispose of his racers hunters and dogs as soon as he could That he would take a survey of the timber upon his estate and fell that which would be the worse for standing and doubted not but that a part of it in Hampshire would turn to good account But that he would plant an oakling for every oak he cut down for the sake of posterity He was determined he said to let the house in Essex and even to sell the estate there if it were necessary to clear incumbrances and to pay off the mortgage upon the Irish estate which he had a notion was very improvable
What did he propose to do for his sisters who were left he found absolutely in his power
Marry them my Lord as soon as I can I have a good opinion of Lord L My elder sister loves him I will enquire what will make him easy And easy I will make him on his marriage with her if it be in my power I will endeavour to make the younger happy too And when these two points are settled but not before because I will not deceive the family with which I may engage I will think of myself
Bravo bravo said my Lord and his eyes that were brimful some moments before then ran over As I hope to be saved I had a good mind to—to—to—And there he stopt
I ask only for your approbation my Lord or correction if wrong My father has been very regardful of my interests He knew my heart or he would perhaps have been more solicitous for his daughters I dont find that my circumstances will be very narrow And if they are I will live within compass and even lay up I endeavour to make a virtue of my pride in this respect I cannot live under obligation I will endeavour to be just and then if I can I will be generous That is another species of my pride I told your Lordship that if I could not conquer it I would endeavour to make it innocent at least
Bravo bravo again cried my Lord—And threw his arms about his neck and kissed his cheek tho he screamed out at the same time having hurt his gouty knee with the effort
And then and then—said my Lord you will marry yourself And if you marry with discretion good Lord what a great man you will be—And how I shall love you—Have you any thoughts of marriage kinsman—Let me be consulted in your match—and—and—and—you will vastly oblige me Now I believe I shall begin to think the name of Grandison has a very agreeable sound with it What a fine thing it is for a young man to be able to clear
up his mothers prudence so many years after she is gone and lessen his fathers follies Your father did not use me well and I must be allowed sometimes to speak my mind of him
That my Lord is the only point on which your Lordship and I can differ
Well well we wont differ—Only one thing my dear kinsman If you sell give me the preference Your father told me that he would mortgage to any man upon Gods earth sooner than to me I took that very heinously
There was a misunderstanding between you my Lord My father had a noble spirit He might think that there would be a selfishness in the appearance had he askd of your Lordship a favour Little spirited men sometimes choose to be obliged to relations in hopes that payment will be less rigorously exacted than by a stranger—
Ah kinsman kinsman—Thats the white side of the business
Indeed my Lord that would be a motive with me to avoid troubling your Lordship in an exigence were it to happen For mistrusts will arise from possibilities of being ungrateful when perhaps there is no room were the heart to be known for the suspicion
Well said however You are a young man that one need not be afraid to be acquainted with But what would you do as a lender Would you think hardly of a man that wanted to be obliged to you
O no—But in this case I would be determined by prudence If my friend regarded himself as the first person in the friendship me but as the second in cases that might hurt my fortune and disable me from acting up to my spirit to other friends I would then let him know that he thought as meanly of my understanding as of my justice
Lord W was delighted with his nephews notions He over and over prophesied That he would be a great man
Sir Charles with wonderful dispatch executed those designs which he had told Lord W he would carry into effect And the sale of the timber he cut down in Hampshire and which lay convenient for watercarriage for the use of the government furnished him with a very considerable sum
I have mentioned that Sir Charles on his setting out from Florence to Paris to attend his fathers leave for his coming to England had left his ward Miss Jervois at the former place in the protection of good Dr Bartlet He soon sent for them both over and placed the young Lady with a discreet widowgentlewoman who had three prudent daughters sometimes indulging her with leave to visit his sisters who are very fond of her as you have heard And now let me add That she is an humble petitioner to me to procure her the felicity as she calls it to be constantly resident with Miss Grandison She will be she says the best girl in the world if she may be allowed this favour And not one word of advice either of her guardian or of Miss Grandison or of Lady L shall be lost upon her—And besides as good women said she as Mrs Lane and her daughters are what protection can women give me were my unhappy mother to be troublesome and resolve to have me as she is continually threatening
What a new world opens to me my Lucy from the acquaintance I am permitted to hold with this family God grant that your poor Harriet pay not too dearly for her knowledge—She would I believe you think were she to be entangled in an hopeless Love
LORD L came to town from Scotland within two or three months of Sir Charless arrival in England His first visit was to the young Baronet who on my Lords avowing his passion for his sister and her acknowledging her esteem for him introduced him to her and put their hands together holding them between both his With pleasure said he I join hands where hearts so worthy are united Do me my Lord the honour from this moment to look upon me as your brother My father I find was a little embarrassed in his affairs He loved his daughters and perhaps was loth that they should too early claim another protection But had he lived to make himself easy I have no doubt but he would have made them happy He has left that duty upon me—And I will perform it
His sister was unable to speak for joy My Lords tears were ready to start
My father proceeded Sir Charles in one of his Letters to me acquainted me with the state of your Lordships affairs Reckon upon my best services Promise engage undertake The brother my Lord hopes to make you easy The sister will make you happy
Miss Charlotte was affected with this seene and she prayd with her hands and eyes lifted up that God would make his power as large as his heart The whole world would then she said be benefited either by his bounty or his example
Do you wonder now my dear Mr Reeves that Miss Grandison Lady L and Lord L know not how to contain their gratitude when this beneficentminded brother is spoken of
And has not my Charlotte said he turning towards her and looking at Miss Caroline some happy man that she can distinguish by her Love You are equally dear to me my sisters Make me your confident Charlotte Your inclinations shall be my choice
Dear Miss Grandison why did you mislead me by your boasts of unreservedness What room was there for reserve to such a brother—And yet it is plain you have not let him know all your heart and he seems to think so too And now you are uneasy at an hint he has thrown out of that nature
Two months before the marriage Sir Charles put into his sisters hands a paper sealed up Receive these my Caroline said he as from your fathers bounty in compliance with what your mother would have wishd had we been blessd with her life When you oblige Lord L with one hand make him with the other this present And intitle yourself to all the gratitude with which I know his worthy heart will overflow on both occasions I have done but my duty I have performed only an article of the will which I have made in my mind for my father as time was not lent him to make one for himself
He saluted her and withdrew before she broke the seal And when she did she found in it bank notes for 10000 l
She threw herself into a chair and was unable for some time to stir but recovering herself hurried out to find her brother She was told he was in her sisters apartment She found him not there but Charlotte in tears Sir Charles had just left her What ails my Charlotte
O this brother my Caroline—There is no bearing his generous goodness See that deed See that paper that lies upon it She took it up and these were the contents of the paper
I have just now paid my sister Caroline the sum that I think she would have been intitled to expect from my fathers bounty and the family circumstances had life been lent him to settle his affairs and make a will I have an entire confidence in the discretion of my Charlotte And have by the inclosed deed establishd for her beyond the power of revocation that independency as to fortune to which from my fathers death I think her intitled And for this having acted but as an executor I claim no merit but that of having fulfilled the supposed will of either of our parents as either had survived the other Cherish therefore in your grateful heart their memory Remember that when you marry you change the name of Grandison Yet with all my pride what is name—Let the man be worthy of you And be he who he will that you intitle to your vows I will embrace him as the brother of
Your affectionate CHARLES GRANDISON
The deed was for the same sum as he had given her sister and to carry interest
The two sisters congratulated and wept over each other as if distressed—To be sure they were distressed
Caroline found out her brother But when she approached him could not utter one word of what she had meditated to say But dropping down on one knee blessed him as she owned in her heart both for Lord L and herself but could only express her gratitude by her lifted up hands and eyes
Just as he had raised and seated her enterd to them the equally grateful Charlotte He placed her next her sister and drawing a chair for himself taking an hand of each he thus addressed himself to them
My dear sisters you are too sensible of these but due instances of my brotherly love It has pleased God to take from us our father and mother We are more than brothers and sisters and must supply to each other the wanting relations Look upon me only as an executor of a will that ought to have been made and perhaps would had time been given My circumstances are greater than I expected greater I dare say than my father thought they would be Less than I have done could not be done by a brother who had power to do this You dont know how much you will oblige me if you never say one word more on this subject You will act with less dignity than becomes my sisters if you look upon what I have done in any other light than as your due
O my aunt Be so good as to let the servants prepare my apartment at Selbyhouse There is no living within the blazing glory of this man But for ones comfort he seems to have one fault and he owns it—And yet does not acknowledgment annihilate that fault—O no for he thinks not of correcting it This fault is pride Do you mind what a stress he lays nowandthen on the Familyname and as above Dignity says he that becomes my sisters—Proud mortal—O my Lucy he is proud too proud I doubt as well as too considerable in his fortunes—What would I say—Yet I know who would study to make him the happiest of men—Spare me spare me here my uncle or rather skip over this passage Lucy
Sir Charles at the end of eight months from his fathers death gave Caroline with his own hand to Lord L
Charlotte had two humble servants Lord G and Sir Walter Watkyns as you have seen in my former Letters but likes not either of them
Lord L carried his Lady down to Scotland where
she was greatly admired and caressed by all his relations How happy for your Harriet was their criticallyproposed return which carried down Sir Charles and Miss Charlotte to prepare everything at Colnebrooke for their reception
Sir Charles accompanied my Lord and Lady L as far on their way to Scotland as York where he made a visit to Mrs Eleanor Grandison his fathers maidensister who resides there She having heard of his goodness to his sisters and to everybody else with whom he had concerns longed to see him and on this occasion rejoiced in the opportunity he gave her to congratulate to bless and applaud her nephew
What multitudes of things have I farther to tell you relating to this strange man Let me call him names
I enquired after the history of the good Dr Bartlett But the Ladies said As they knew not the whole of it they would refer me to the Doctor himself They knew however enough they said to reverence him as one of the most worthy and most pious of men They believed that he knew all the secrets of their brothers heart
Strange methinks that these secrets lie so deep
Yet there does not seem any thing so very forbidding either in Sir Charles or the Doctor but that one might ask them a few innocent questions And yet I did not use to be so very curious neither Why should I be more so than his sisters—Yet persons coming strangers into a family of extraordinary merit are apt I believe to be more inquisitive about the affairs and particularities of that family than those who make a part of it And when they have no other motive for their curiosity than a desire to applaud and imitate I see not any great harm in it
I was also very anxious to know what at so early an age for Sir Charles was not then eighteen were the faults he found with the governor appointed for
him It seems the man was not only profligate himself but in order to keep himself in countenance laid snares for the young gentlemans virtue which however he had the happiness to escape tho at an age in which youth is generally unguarded This man was also contentious quarrelsome and a drinker and yet as Sir Charles at the time acknowledged to his sisters it had so very indifferent an appearance for a young man to find fault with his governor that as well for the appearancesake as for the mans he was very loth to complain till he became insupportable It was mentioned as it ought greatly to the honour of the young gentlemans frankness and magnanimity that when at last he found himself obliged to complain of this wicked man to his father he gave him a copy of the letter he wrote as soon as he sent it away You may make Sir said he what use you please of the slep I have taken You see my charge I have not aggravated it Only let me caution you that as I have not given you by my own misconduct any advantage over me you do not make a still worse figure in my reply if you give me occasion to justify my charge My father loves his son I must be his son An altercation cannot end in your favour
But on enquiry into the behaviour of this bad man who might have tainted the morals of one of the finest youths on earth which the son besought the father to make before he paid any regard to his complaints Sir Thomas dismissed him and made a compliment to his son that he should have no other governor for the future than his own discretion
Miss Jervoiss history is briefly this
She had one of the best of fathers Her mother is one of the worst of women A termagant a swearer a drinker unchaste—Poor Mr Jervois—I have told you that he a meek man was obliged to abandon his country to avoid her Yet she wants to have her
daughter under her own tuition—Terrible—Sir Charles has had trouble with her He expects to have more—Poor Miss Jervois
Miss Emilys fortune is very great The Ladies say Not less than 50000 l Her father was an Italian and Turky merchant and Sir Charles by his management has augmented it to that sum by the recovery of some thousands of pounds which Mr Jervois had thought desperate
AND thus have I brought down as briefly as I was able tho writing almost night and day and greatly indulged in the latter by the Ladies who saw my heart was in the task the history of this family to the time when I had the happiness by means, however most shockingly undesirable to be first acquainted with it
And now a word or two to present situations
Sir Charles is not yet come down Lucy And this is Monday—Very well—He has made excuses by his cousin Grandison who came down with my cousin Reeves on Sunday morning and both went up together yesterday—Vastly busy no doubt—He will be here tomorrow I think he says His excuses were to his sisters and Lord L I am glad he did not give himself the importance with your Harriet to make any to her on his absence
Miss Grandison complains that I open not my heart to her She wants she says to open hers to me but as she has intricacies that I cannot have I must begin She knows not how she pretends What her secrets may be I presume not to guess But surely I cannot tell a sister who with her sister favours another woman that I have a regard for her brother and that before I can be sure he has any for me
She will play me a trick she just now told me if I will not let her know who the happy man in Northamptonshire
is whom I prefer to all others That there is such a one somewhere she says she has no doubt And if she find it out before I tell her she will give me no quarter speaking in the military phrase which sometimes she is apt to do Lady L smiles and eyes me with great attention when her sister is raillying me as if she also wanted to find out some reason for my refusing Lord D I told them an hour ago that I am beset with their eyes and Lord Ls for Lady L keeps no one secret of her heart nor I believe any bodys else that she is mistress of from her Lord Him I think of all the men I know my uncle not excepted I could soonest intrust with a secret But have I Lucy any to reveal It is I hope a secret to myself that never will be unfolded even to myself that I love a man who has not made professions of Love to me As to Sir Charles Grandison—But have done Harriet Thou hast named a name that will lead thee—Whither will it lead me—More than I am at present my own I am and will be ever my dear Lucy
Your affectionate HARRIET BYRON
Monday Mar 13
I WILL now tell you who the Lady is to whom the two sisters have given their interest
It is Lady Anne S the only daughter of the Earl of S A vast fortune it seems independent of her father and yet certain of a very great one from him She is to be here this very afternoon on a visit to the two Ladies With all my heart I hope she is a very agreeable Lady I hope she has a capacious mind I
hope—I dont know what to hope—And why Because I find myself out to be a selfish wretch and dont wish her to be so fine and so good a woman as I say I do Is Love if I must own Love a narrower of the Heart—I dont know whether while it is in suspense and is only on one side it be not the parent of jealousy envy dissimulation making the person pretend generosity disinterestedness and I cannot tell what but secretly wishing that her rival may not be so worthy so lovely as she pretends to wish her to be—Ah Lucy were one sure one could afford to be generous One might then look down with pity upon a rival instead of being mortified with apprehensions of being looked down upon
But I will be just to the education given me and the examples set me Whatever I shall be able to do or to wish while I am in suspense when any happy woman becomes the wife of Sir Charles Grandison I will revere her and wish her for his sake as well as her own all the felicities that this world can afford and if I cannot do this from my heart I will disown that heart
The two Ladies set upon Mr Grandison on Sunday to get out of him the business that carried Sir Charles so often of late to Canterbury But tho he owned that he was not injoined secrecy he affected to amuse them and strangely to romance hinting to them a story of a fine woman in love with him and he with her yet neither of them thinking of marriage Mr Grandison valued not truth nor scrupled solemn words tho ludicrously uttered to make the most improbable stuff perplexing and teazing and then the wretch laughed immoderately at the suspense he supposed he had caused
What witless creatures what mere nothings are these beaux fine fellows and laughers of men—how silly must they think us women—And how
silly indeed are such of us as can keep in countenance at our own expence their folly
He was left alone with me for half an hour last night and in a very serious manner besought me to receive his addresses I was greatly displeased with the two sisters for I thought they intended to give him this opportunity by their manner of withdrawing Surely thought I I am not sunk so low in the eyes of the Ladies of such a family as this as to be thought by them a fit wise to the only worthless person in it because I have not the fortune of Lady Anne S I will hear thought I what Miss Grandison says to this and altho I had made excuses to my cousin Reevess at their request for staying here longer than I had intended I will get away to town as fast as I can Proud as they are of the name of Grandison thought I the name only wont do with Harriet Byron I am as proud as they
I said nothing of my resentment But told both Ladies the moment I saw them of Mr Grandisons declaration They expressed themselves highly displeased with him for it and said they would talk to him Miss Grandison said She wondered at his presumption His fortune was indeed very considerable she said notwithstanding the extravagance of his youth But it was an high degree of confidence in a man of such free principles to think himself intitled to countenance from—in short from such a Lady as your Harriet Lucy whatever you may think of her in these days of her humiliation
She added the goodness of my heart to her compliment I hope it is not a bad one Then it was that I told them of my thoughts of going to town on the occasion And the two Ladies instantly went to their cousin and talked to him in such a manner that he promised if no more notice were taken of the matter never again to give occasion for them to reprimand him on this subject He had indeed he
owned no very strong aspirations after matrimony and had balanced about it a good while before he could allow himself to declare his passion so seriously But only as it was probable that he might at one time or other enter the pale he thought he never in his life saw a woman with whom he could be so happy as with me
But you see Lucy by this address of Mr Grandison that nothing is thought of in the family of another nature What makes me a little more affected than otherwise I believe I should be is That all you my dear friends are so much in love with this really great because good man It is a very happy circumstance for a young woman to look forward to a change of condition with a man of whom every one of her relations highly approves But what cant be cant I shall see what merit Lady Anne has byandby But if fortune—Indeed my dear were I the first princess on earth I would have no other man if I might have him And so I say▪ that am but poor Harriet Byron By this time Lady D will have taken such measures I hope as will not disturb me in my resolution It is fixed my dear I cannot help it I must not I ought not I therefore will not give my hand whatever has passed between that Lady and my aunt to any man living and leave a preserence in my heart against that man Gratitude Justice Virtue Decency all forbid it
And yet as I see no hope nor trace for hope I have begun to attempt the conquest of my hopeless—What shall I call it—Passion—Well if I must call it so I must A child in lovematters if I did not would find me out you know Nor will I however hopeless be ashamed of owning it if I can help it Is not reason, is not purity is not delicacy with me Is it person that I am in love with if I am in love No It is virtue it is goodness it is generosity it is true politeness that I am captivated by all
centred in this one good man What then have I to be ashamed of—And yet I am a little ashamed nowandthen for all that
After all that Love which is founded on fancy or exterior advantages is a Love I should think that may and oftentimes ought to be overcome But that which is founded on interior worth that blazes out when charity beneficence piety fortitude are signally exerted by the object beloved how can such a Love as that be restrained damped suppressd How can it without damping every spark of generous goodness in what my partial grandmamma calls a fellowheart admiring and longing to promote and share in such glorious philantropy
Philantropy—Yes my uncle Why should women in compliance with the petulance of narrowminded men forbear to use words that some seem to think above them when no other single word will equally express their sense It will be said They need not write Well then dont let them read And carry it a little farther and they may be forbidden to speak And every lordly man will then be a Grand Signor and have his mute attendant
But wont you think my heart a little at ease that I can thus trifle I would sain have it be at ease and that makes me give way to any chearful idea that rises to my mind
The Ladies here have made me read to them several passages out of my Letters to you before I send them They are more generous than I think I wish them to be in allowing me to skip and pass over sentences and paragraphs as I please For is not this allowing that I have something to write or have written something that they think I ought to keep from their knowledge and which they do not desire to know With all my heart I will not be mean Lucy
WELL Lucy Lady Anne has been here and is
gone She is an agreeable woman I cant say but she is very agreeable And were she actually Lady Grandison I think I could respect her I think I could—But O my dear friends what an happy creature was I before I came to London
There was a good deal of discourse about Sir Charles She owned that she thought him the handsomest man she ever saw in her life She was in love with his great character she said She could go nowhere but he was the subject She had heard of the affair between him and Sir Hargrave and made me an hundred compliments on the occasion and said That her having heard that I was at Clonebrooke was one inducement to her to make this visit
It seems she told Miss Grandison That she thought me the prettiest creature she ever beheld—Creature was her word—We are all creatures tis true But I think I never was more displeased with the sound of the word Creature than I was from Lady Anne
MY aunts Letter relating to what passed between her and Lady D is just brought me
And so Lady D was greatly chagrined—I am sorry for it But my dear aunt you say that she is not displeased with me in the main and commends my sincerity That I hope is but doing me justice I am very glad to find that she knew not how to get over my prepossession in favour of another man It was worthy of herself and of my Lord Ds character I shall always respect her I hope this affair is quite over
My grandmamma regrets the uncertainty I am in But did she not say herself that Sir Charles Grandison was too considerable in his fortune in his merit That we were but as the private he the public in this particular What room is there then for regret
Why is the word uncertainty used We may be certain—And theres an end of it His sisters can railly me
Some happy man in Northamptonshire—As much as to say You must not think of our brother Lady Anne S has a vast fortune
Is not that saying
What hope can you have Harriet Byron
—Well I dont care This life is but a passage a short passage to a better And let one jostle and another elbow another push me because they know the weakest must give way yet I will endeavour steadily to pursue my course till I get thro it and into broad and open day
One word only more on this subject—There is but one man in the world whom I can honestly marry my mind continuing what it is His I cannot expect to be I must then of necessity be a single woman as long as I live Well And where is the great evil of that Shall I not have less cares less anxieties—I shall And let me beg of my dear friends that none of you will ever again mention marriage to
Your HARRIET BYRON
Tuesday March 14
SIR Charles is come at last He came time enough to breakfast and with him the good Dr Bartlett My philosophy I doubt is gone again quite gone for one while at least I must take sanctuary and that very soon at Selbyhouse
Every word that passes now seems to me worth repeating There is no describing how the presence of this man animates every one in company But take only part of what passed
We were in hopes Sir Charles said Lord L that we should have had the pleasure of seeing you before now
My heart was with you my Lord And taking my hand for he sat next me and bowing the more ardently I must own for the pleasure I should have shared with you all in the company of this your lovely guest
What business had he to take my hand But indeed the character of brother might warrant the freedom
I was engaged most part of last week in a very melancholy attendance as Mr Grandison could have informed you
But not a word of the matter said Mr Grandison did I tell the Ladies looking at his two cousins I amused them as they love to do all mankind when they have power
The Ladies I hope cousin will punish you for this reflexion
I came not to town till Saturday proceeded Sir Charles and found a billet from Sir Hargrave Pollexfen inviting himself Mr Merceda Mr Bagenhall and Mr Jordan to pass the Sunday evening with me at St Jamesssquare The company was not suitable to the day nor the day to the purposed meeting I made my excuses and desired them to favour me at breakfast on monday morning They came And when we were all in good humour with one another, I proposed and was seconded by Mr Jordan that we would make a visit—You will hardly guess to whom Miss Byron—It was to the widow Awberry at Paddington
I started and even trembled What I suffered there was all in my mind
He proceeded then to tell me that he had tho not without some difficulty on Sir Hargraves part engaged him to draw upon his banker for the 100l he had promised Wilson on Mr Merceda on his banker
for 50 l and he himself generously added 50 l more and giving as he said the air of a frolick to the performance of a promise they all of them went to Paddington There satisfying themselves of the girls love for Wilson and of the widows opinion of Wilsons good intentions by the girl they let them know that the sum of 200 l was deposited in Sir Charless hands to be paid on the day of marriage as a portion for the young woman and bid them demand it as soon as they thought fit Neither Wilson nor the widows son was there The widow and her daughters were overjoyd at this unexpected good news
They afterwards shewd Sir Charles it seems every scene of my distress and told him and the gentlemen all but Sir Hargrave who had not patience to hear it and went into another room my whole sad story Sir Charles was pleased to say That he was so much affected with it that he had some little difficulty on joining Sir Hargrave to be as civil to him as he was before he heard the relation.
To one condition it seems the gentlemen insisted Sir Charles should consent as an inducement for them to comply with his proposal It was that Sir Charles should dine with Sir Hargrave and the company at his house on the forest some one day in the next week of which they would give him notice They all insisted upon it and Sir Charles said he came the more readily into the proposal as they declared it would be the last time they should see him for at least a twelvemonth to come they being determined to prosecute their intended tour
Wilson and young Awberry waited on Sir Charles the same evening The marriage is to be celebrated in a few days Wilson says that his widowsister in Smithfield will he is sure admit him into a partnership with her now that he shall have something to carry into the stock for she loves his wiseelect and
the saving both of body and soul will be owing he declared with transport that left him speechless to Sir Charles Grandison
Everybody was delighted with the relation he gave Dear Sir Charles said Mr Grandison let me be allowed to believe the Roman Catholic doctrine of Supererogation and let me express my hope that I your kinsman may be the better for your good works If all you do is but necessary the Lord have mercy upon me
Miss Grandison said if I had written to my friends the account of what I suffered from the vile attempt of Sir Hargrave as she doubted not but I had Lady L as well as herself would take it for a particular mark of my confidence if they might be allowed to peruse it
When I am favoured replyd I with the return of my Letters I will very chearfully communicate to you my dear Ladies my relation of this shocking affair
They all expressed a pleasure in my frankness Sir Charles said he admired me beyond expression for that noble criterion of Innocence and goodness
There Lucy
I think there is nothing in that part but what they may see
THE two sisters and Lord L were then solicitous to know what was the occasion which he called melancholy that had engaged his attendance so many days at Canterbury
It is really a melancholy occasion replyd he You must not be surprised my Lord nor you my sisters if you see me in mourning in a few days His sisters
started And so truly must I But I am his third sister you know He seemed in haste to explain himself left he should keep us in painful suspense My journeyings to Canterbury have been occasioned by the melancholy necessity of visiting a sick friend who is now no more
You had all such an opinion said Mr Grandison that I could keep no secret that—
You were resolved interrupted Miss Grandison to say any-thing but the truth Indeed cousin you had better have been silent at this time—Is there a necessity brother for us to go into mourning
There is not I had a true value for the departed But custom will oblige me to mourn outwardly as an executor only And I have given orders about that and other necessary matters
Did we know the deceased gentleman brother said Lady L
No His name was Danby He was an eminent merchant an Englishman but from his youth settled in France He had for months been in a languishing state of health and at last finding his recovery desperate was desirous to die in his native country He landed at Dover about two months ago But his malady so greatly increased that he was obliged to stop at Canterbury in his way to town and there at last he yielded to the common destiny The body was to be brought to town as this night I have orderd it to an undertakers I must lock myself up for a day or two when I go to town His concerns are large but he told me not intricate He desired that his will might not be opened till after his interrment and that that might be private He has two nephews and a niece I would have had him join them in the trust with me But he refused to do so An attempt once had been made upon his life by villains set at work by a wicked brother father of those nephews and that niece of which they were innocent They
are worthy young people I had the happiness to save his life But had no merit in it for my own safety was involved in his I am afraid he has been too grateful
But my good brother said Miss Grandison were you not a little reserved on this occasion You went and returned and went and returned to Canterbury and never said one word to us of the call you had to go thither For my part I thought there was a Lady in the case I do assure you
My reserve as you call it Charlotte was rather accidental than designed and yet I do nowandthen treat your agreeable curiosity as mariners are said to do a whale I throw out a tub But this was too melancholy an occasion to be sported with I was affected by it Had the gentleman lived to come to town you would all have been acquainted with him I love to communicate pleasure but not pain when especially no good end can be answered by the communication I go to different places and return and hardly think it worth troubling my sisters with every movement Had I thought you had any curiosity about my little journeyings to Canterbury you should have had it answered And yet I know my sister Charlotte loves to puzzle and find out secrets where none are intended
She blushd and so did I Your servant Sir was all she said
But Charlotte proceeded he you thought it was a Lady that I visited You know not your brother I never will keep a secret of that nature from you my good Lord nor from you my sisters when I find myself either encouraged or inclined to make a second visit It is for your Sex Charlotte to be very chary of such secrets and reason good if you have any doubt either of the mans worthiness or of your own consequence with him
He looked very earnestly at her but smiled
So my brother I thank you humourously rubbing one side of her face tho she needed not to do so to make both cheeks glow this is another box on the same car I have been uneasy I can tell you Sir at an hint you threw out before you last went to Canterbury as if I kept you from something that it behoved you to know Now pray Sir will you be pleased to explain yourself
And since you put it so strongly to me Charlotte let me ask you Have you not
And let me ask you Sir—Do you think I have
Perhaps Charlotte your solicitude on this subject now and the alarm you took at the time on a very slight hint might warrant—
No warrants brother—Pray be so good as to speak all that lies on your mind
Ah Charlotte and looked tho smilingly with meaning
I will not bear this Ah Charlotte and that meaning look
And are you willing my dear to try this cause
I demand my tryal
Charming innocence thought I at the time—Now shall I find some fault I hope in this almost perfect brother I triumphed in my mind for my Charlotte
Who shall be your judge
Yourself Sir
God grant you may be found guilty cousin said Mr Grandison for your plaguing of me
Has that wretch looking at Mr Grandison insinuated any-thing?—She stopt
Are you afraid my sister
I would not give that creature any advantage over me
Sir Ch I think I would if there were fair room—You have too often all the game in your own hands You should allow Mr Grandison his chance
Miss Gr Not to arise from such an observing bystander as my brother
Sir Ch Conscious Charlotte
Miss Gr May be not—
Sir Ch May be is doubtful May be No implies May be Yes
Lady L You have made Charlotte uneasy Indeed brother you have The poor girl has been harping upon this string ever since you have been gone
Sir Ch I am sorry what I said pressed so hard—Do you Lady L if this delinquency comes to tryal offer yourself as an advocate for Charlotte
Lady L I know not an act of delinquency she has committed
Sir Ch The act of delinquency is this—Shall I Charlotte explain myself—
Miss Gr Teazing man How can you—
Mr Grandison rubbed his hands and rejoiced Miss Grandison was nettled She gave Mr Grandison such a look—I never saw such a contemptuous one—Pray Sir do you withdraw if you please
Mr Gr Not I by the Mass Are you afraid of a tryal in open Court Oho cousin Charlotte—
Miss Gr Have I not a cruel brother Miss Byron
Lord L Our sister Charlotte really suffers Sir Charles
Sir Ch I am sorry for it The innocent should not suffer We will drop the cause
Lady L Worse and worse brother
Sir Ch How so Lady L Is not Charlotte innocent
Dr Bartlett If an advocate be required and you Sir Charles are judge and not a pleader in this cause I offer myself to Miss Grandison
Sir Ch A very powerful one she will then have You think her cause a just one Doctor by your offer
Will you Charlotte give Dr Bartlett a brief Or have you given him one▪
Dr Bart I have no doubt of the justice of the cause
Sir Ch Nor of the justice of the accuser I hope I cannot be a judge in it
Lady L Nay then▪—Poor Charlotte
Miss Gr I wish cousin Grandison you would withdraw
Mr Gr I wish cousin Charlotte you would not wish it
Miss Gr But are you serious brother
Sir Ch Let us call another cause sister if you please Pray my Lord what visitors have you had since I had the honour to attend you
Miss Gr Nay brother—Dont think—
Sir Ch BE QUIET Charlotte
Lady L Your own words sister—But we had a visit from Lady Anne S yesterday
I was glad to hear Lady L say this But nothing came of it
Sir Ch You have seen Lady Anne more than once my Emily How do you like Lady Anne
Miss Emily Very well Sir She is a very agreeable Lady Dont you think so Sir
Sir Ch I do—But Charlotte and looked tenderly upon her I must not have you uneasy
She sat vexed—her complexion raised and playing with a lump of sugar and sometimes twirling round and round a teacup for the teathings thro earnestness of talking were not taken away tho the servants were withdrawn
Mr Gr Well I will leave you together I think Poor cousin Charlotte—Rising he tapped her shoulder Poor cousin Charlotte Ha ha ha hah
Miss Gr Impertinence with a look the fellow to that she gave him before
Miss Emily I will withdraw if you please madam rising and courtesying
Miss Grandison nodded her assent And Emily withdrew likewise
Dr Bartlett offerd to do so Miss Grandison seemd not to disapprove of his motion But Sir Charles said▪ The Doctor is retained on your part Charlotte He must hear the charge Shall Miss Byron be judge
I begged to be excused The matter began to look like earnest
Miss Gr whispering me I wish Harriet I had opened my whole heart to you Your nasty scribbling Eternally at your pen or I had
Then I began to be afraid for her Dear Miss Grandison rewhisperd I it was not for me to obtrude—Dear Miss Grandison my pen should never have interfered if—
Miss Gr still whispering One should be courted out of some sort of secrets One is not very forward to begin some sort of discourses—Yet the subjects most in our hearts perhaps But dont despise me You see what an accuser I have And so generous a one too that one must half condemn ones self at setting out
Harriet whispering Fear nothing my Charlotte You are in brothers hands
Miss Gr Well Sir Charles and now if you please for the charge But you say you cannot be judge and accuser Who shall be judge
Sir Ch Your own heart Charlotte I desire all present to be your advocates if their judgment be with you And if it be not that they will pity you in silence
He looked smilingly serious Good Heaven thought I
Miss Gr Pity me—Nay then—But pray Sir your charge
Sir Ch The matter is too serious to be spoken of in metaphor
Miss Gr Good God—Hem—and twice more she hemmd—Pray Sir begin Begin while I have breath
Lord and Lady L and Dr Bartlett and I lookd very grave and Miss Grandison lookd in general fretfully humble if I may so express myself And everything being removed but the table she playd with her diamond ring sometimes pulling it off and putting it on sometimes putting the tip of her finger in it as it lay upon the table and turning it round and round swister or slower and stopping thro downcast vexation or earnest attention as she found herself more or less affected—What a sweet confusion
Sir Ch You know my dear Charlotte that I very early after my arrival enquired after the state of your heart You told me it was absolutely free
Miss Gr Well Sir
Sir Ch Not satisfied with your own acknowledgement as I knew that young Ladies I know not why when proper persons make enquiries and for motives not ungenerous are too apt to make secrets of a passion that is not in itself illaudable I asked your elder sister who scrupled not to own hers whether there was any one man whom you preferred to another—She assured me that she knew not of any one
Lady L My sister knows that I said truth
Miss Gr Well well Lady L nobody doubts your veracity
Sir Ch Dear Charlotte keep your temper
Miss Gr Pray Sir proceed—And the ring turnd round very fast
Sir Ch On several occasions I put the same question and had the same assurances My reason for repeating my question was owing to an early intelligence—Of which more byandby
Miss Gr Sir
Sir Ch And that I might either provide the money that I thought due to her as my sister or take time to pay it according to the circumstances of her engagement and take from her all apprehensions of controul in a case that might affect the happiness of her life—These and brotherly Love were the motives of my enquiry
Miss Gr Your generosity Sir was without example
Sir Ch Not so I hope My sisters had an equitable if not a legal right to what has been done I found on looking into my affairs that by a moderate calculation of the familycircumstances no man should think of addressing a daughter of Sir Thomas Grandison without supposing himself intitled either by his merits or fortune to expect 10000 l with her—And this even allowing to the Son the customary preferences given to men as men tho given for the sake of pride perhaps rather than natural justice For does not tyrant custom make a daughter change her name in marriage and give to a son for the sake of name only the estate of the common ancestor of both
This generous hint affected me It was nearly my own case you know I might otherwise have been a rich heiress and might have had as strong pretensions to be distinguished by the Grandisons for my fortune as any Lady S in the kingdom But worthless as those are to whom for the sake of the name my fathers estate is passed I never grudged it to them till I came acquainted with these Grandisons
Lord L But who Sir Charles but you—
Sir Ch Pray my Lord let not your generosity mislead you to think that a favour which is but a due We shall not be judged by comparison The Laws of Truth and Justice are always the same What others would not have done in the like situation that let
them look to But what is the mortal man who should make an unjust advantage of mortality
Miss Grandison pulled out her handkerchief put it to her eyes and then in her lap and putting half on and half off by turns her ring looked nowandthen at me as if she wished me to pity her
Indeed Lucy I did pity her Every one did and so did her judge I dare say in his heart But justice my Lucy is a severe thing Who can bear a tryal if the integrity and greatness of this mans heart is to be the rule by which their actions are to be examined Yet you shall hear how generous he was
Sir Ch Allow me for Miss Byrons sake who has been but lately restored to our family to be a little more particular than otherwise I need to be I had not been long in England before Sir Walter Watkyns desired my interest with my sister I told him That she was entirely her own mistress and that I should not offer to lead her choice Lord G made his court to her likewise and applying to me received the same answer
I enterd however into serious talk with my sister upon this subject She askd me what I thought of each gentleman I told her frankly
Miss Gr And pray brother be so good as to repeat what you said of them Let Miss Byron be judge whether either of the portraits was very inviting
Sir Ch I told her Miss Byron that Sir Walter would I presumed be thought the handsomer man of the two He was gay lively genteel and had that courage in his air and manner that Ladies were seldom displeased with I had not however discovered any great depth in him My sister I imagined if she married him would have the superiority in good sense But I questiond whether Sir Walter would easily find that out or allow it if he did He
was a brisk man for an hour and might have wit and sense too but indeed I hardly ever saw him out of Ladies company and he seemed to be of opinion that flash rather than fire was what would recommend him to them Sometimes I have thought I told her that women of sense should punish such men with their contempt and not reward them with their approbation for thus indirectly affronting their understandings But that I had known women of sense approve a man of that character and each woman must determine for herself what appeared most agreeable to her
Miss Gr whispering Well Harriet—
Har whispering Don t interrupt him
Sir Ch You remember my dear Charlotte that it was in this kind of way I spoke about Sir Walter Watkyns and added That he was independent in possession of the familyestate which I believed was a good one and that he talked handsomely to me of settlements
I do remember this said Miss Grandison and whispering me I am afraid said she he knows too much but the person he cannot know—Well Sir and pray be pleased to repeat what you said of Lord G
Sir Ch Lord G told you was a gaydressing man but of a graver cast than the other The fashion rather than his inclination seemed to govern his outward appearance He was a modest man and I feared had too much doubt of himself to appear with that dignity in the eye of a lively woman which should give him a first consequence with her
Miss Gr Your servant Sir
Sir Ch I believed he would make a good husband So perhaps might Sir Walter But the one would bear and the other perhaps must be borne with Ladies as well as men I presumed had some soibles that they would not care to part with As to fortune I added
that Lord G was dependent on his fathers pleasure He had indeed his fathers entire approbation I found in his address And I hoped that a sister of mine would not wish for any mans death for the sake of either title or fortune You have seen Lord G Miss Byron
Har What Sir Charles was Miss Grandisons answer
I did not care to give any opinion that might either hurt or humour my Charlotte
Sir Ch Charlotte told me in so many words That she did not approve of either Each gentleman said I has besought me to be his advocate A task that I have not undertaken I only told them That I would talk to my sister upon the subject But did not think a brother ought to expect an influence over a sister where the gentlemen suspected their own You will remember said I to my sister that women cannot choose where they will and that the same man cannot be everything—She desired me to tell her which of the two I would prefer—First said I▪ let me repeat the question I have more than once put to you—Have you any the least shadow of a preference in your heart to any third person—What was my sisters answer She said She had not And yet had I not had the private intelligence I hinted at I should have been apt to imagine that I had some reason to repeat the question from the warmth both of manner and accent with which she declared that she approved of neither Women I believe do not with earnestness reject a man who is not quite disagreeable and to whose quality and fortune there can be no objection if they are absolutely unprejudiced in anothers favour
We women lookd upon one another. I have no doubt thought I but Sir Charles came honestly by his knowlege of us The dear Charlotte sat uneasy He proceeded
However I now made no question but my sisters affections were absolutely disengaged My dear Charlotte said I I would rather be excused telling you which gentlemans suit I should incline to favour lest my opinion should not have your inclination with it and your mind by that means should suffer any embarrasment She desired to know it
Miss Gr You were very generous Sir I owned you were in this point as well as in all others
Sir Ch I then declared in savour of Lord G as the man who would be most likely to make her happy who would think himself most obliged to her for her favour And I took the liberty to hint that tho I admired her for her vivacity and even when her wit carried its keenest edge loved to be awakened by it and wished it never to lose that edge yet I imagined that it would hurt such a man as Sir Walter Lord G it would enliven And I hoped if she took pleasure in her innocent fallies that she would think it something so to choose as that she should not be under a necessity of repressing those sprightly powers that very seldom were to be wished to be reined in
Miss Gr True Sir You said very seldom I remember
Sir Ch I never will flatter either a prince or a Lady yet should be sorry to treat either of them rudely She then asked me after my own inclinations I took this for a desire to avoid the subject we were upon and would have withdrawn but not in illhumour There was no reason for it My sister was not obliged to follow me in a subject that was not agreeable to her But I took care to let her know that her question was not a disagreeable one to me But would be more properly answered on some other occasion She would have had me to stay—For the sake of the former subject do you ask me to stay Charlotte No said she
Well then my dear take time to consider of it and at some other opportunity we will resume it Thus tender did I intend to be with regard to my sisters inclinations
Miss Grandison wiped her eyes—And said but with an accent that had a little peevishness in it You wanted not Sir all this preparation Nobody has the shadow of belief, that you could be wrong
Sir Ch If this Charlotte be well said if in that accent it be generously said I have done—And from my heart acquit you and as cordially condemn myself if I have appeared in your eye to intend to raise my own character at the expence of yours Believe me Charlotte I had much rather in a point of delicacy that the brother should be found faulty than the sister And let it pass that I am so—And only tell me in what way you would with me to serve you
Miss Gr Pardon me brother You can add forgiveness to the other obligations under which I labour I was petulent
Sir Ch I do most cordially I do
Miss Gr wiping her eyes But wont you proceed Sir
Sir Ch At another opportunity madam
Miss Gr MADAM▪—Nay now you are indeed angry with me Pray proceed
Cir Ch I am not But you shall allow me an hours conversation with you in your dressingroom when you please
Miss Gr No—Pray proceed Every one here is dear to me Every one present must hear either my acquittal or condemnation Pray Sir proceed—Miss Byron pray sit still—Pray for we were all rising to go out keep your seats I believe I have been wrong My brother said you must pity me in silence if you found me faulty Perhaps I shall be obliged to you for your pity—Pray Sir be pleased to acquaint me with what you know of my faults
Sir Ch My dear Charlotte I have said enough to point your fault to your own heart If you know it that I hope is sufficient—Do not imagine my dear that I want to controul you—But—He stopt
Miss Gr BUT what Sir—Pray Sir—And she trembled with eagerness
Sir Ch But it was not right to—And yet O that I were mistaken in this point and my sister not wrong
Miss Gr Well Sir you have reason I suppose to think—there she stopt—
Sir Ch That there is a man whom you can approve of—notwithstanding—
Miss Gr All I have said to the contrary Well Sir if there be it is a great fault to have denied it
Sir Ch That is all I mean—It is no fault in you to prefer one man to another It is no fault in you to give this preference to any man without consulting your brother I proposed that you should be entirely mistress of your own conduct and actions It would have been ungenerous in me to have supposed you accountable to me who had done no more than my duty by you Dear Charlotte do not imagine 〈◊〉 capable of laying such a load on your free will But I should not have been made to pronounce to Lord G and even to the Earl his father on their enquirie• whether your affections were or were not engaged▪ in such a manner as gave them hopes of succeeding
Miss Gr Are you sure Sir
Sir Ch O my sister how hard fought now must I say is this battle—I can urge it no farther For your sake I can urge it no farther
Miss Gr Name your man Sir—
Sir Ch Not my man Charlotte—Captain Anderson is not my man
He arose and taking her motionless hand pressed it with his lips—Be not too much disturbed said he I am distressd my sister for your distress—I think
more than I am for the error And saying this bowing to her he withdrew
He saw and pitied her confusion She was quite confounded It was very good of him to withdraw to give her time to recover herself Lady L gave her her salts Miss Grandison hardly ever wanted salts before
O what a poor creature am I said she even in my own eyes Dont despise me Harriet—Dr Bartlett can you excuse me for so sturdy a perseverance—My Lord forgive me—Lady L be indulgent to a sisters fault But my brother will always see me in this depreciating light A battle hard fought indeed How one error persisted in produces another
When Sir Charles heard her voice as talking every one soothing and pitying her he returned She would have risen with a disposition seemingly as if she would have humbled herself at his feet But he took her folded hands in one of his and with the other drew a chair close to her and sat down With what sweet majesty and mingled compassion in his countenance Miss Grandisons consciousness made it terrible only to her—Forgive me Sir were her words
Dear Charlotte I do We have all something to be forgiven for We pity others then most cordially when we want pity ourselves Remember only in the cases of other persons to soften the severity of your virtue
He had Mrs Oldham in his thoughts as we all afterwards concluded
We know not said he to what inconveniencies a small departure from principle will lead And now let us look forward But first Had you rather shew me into your dressingroom
Miss Gr I have now no wish to conceal anything from the persons present I will only withdraw for a few moments
She went out I followed her And then wanting somebody to divide her fault with the dear Charlotte blamed my nasty scribbling again But for that said she I should have told you all
And what my dear would that have done returned I—That would not have prevented—
No But yet you might have given me your advice I should have had the benefit of that and my confessions would have been then perhaps aforehand with hi• accusations—But forgive me Harriet—
O my Charlotte thought I to myself could you but reinin your charming spirit a little a very little you would not have had two forgivenesses to ask instead of one
MISS Grandison desired me to return to the company I did She soon followed me took her seat and with an air of mingled dignity and concern deliverd herself after this manner
If it be not too late after a perseverance in error so obstinate to reinstate myself in my brothers good opinion dearer to me than that of the whole world besides my ingenuousness shall make atonement for that error
Sir Ch I would spare my sister the—
Miss Gr I will not be spared Sir—Pray hear me—I would not in order to extenuate my own faults I hope I have not many seek to throw blame upon the absent much less upon the everlastingly absent And yet my brothers piety must not be offended if I am obliged to say something that may seem to cast a shade on a memory—Be not hurt Sir—I will be favourable to that memory and just to my own fault You
Harriet would no more excuse me than my brother if I failed in either
I bowed and blushed Sir Charles lookd at me with a benign aspect
My father proceeded she thought fit to be or to seem to be displeased with something that passed between him and Lord L on the application made by my Lord to him for my sister
Sir Ch He was not willing perhaps that a treaty of marriage should be begun but at his own first motion however unexceptionable the man or the proposal
Miss Gr Every one knows that my father had great abilities and they were adorned with vivacity and spirit that whereever pointed there was no resisting He took his two daughters to task upon this occasion and being desirous to discourage in them at that time any thoughts of marriage he exerted besides his authority on this occasion which I can truly say had due weight with us both that vein of humour and raillery for which he was noted insomuch that his poor girls were confounded and unable to hold up their heads My sister in particular was made to be ashamed of a passion that surely no young woman the object so worthy ought to be ashamed of My father also thought sit perhaps for wise reason to acquaint us that he designed for us but small fortunes And this depreciated me with myself My sister had a stronger mind and had better prospects I could not but apprehend from what my sister sufferd what must be my sufferings in turn and I thought I could be induced to take any step however rash where virtue was not to be wounded rather than undergo what she underwent from the raillery of a man so lively and so humorous and who stood in so venerable a degree of relation to me While these impressions were strong in my mind Captain Anderson who was quarterd near us had an opportunity to fall
into my company at an assembly He is a sprightly man and was well received by everybody and particularly a favourite of three young ladies who could hardly be civil to each other on his account And this I own when he made assiduous court to me in preference to them and to every other woman gave him some consequence with me And then being the principal officer in that part of the country he was caressed as if he were a general A daughter of Sir Thomas Grandison was deemed a prize worthy of his ambition by everybody as well as by himself While this poor daughter dreading the difficulties that her sister had met with and being led to think by what her father declared to both sisters that two or three thousand pounds would be the height of her fortune had only to apprehend that a captain either of horse or foot who had been perhaps for years a frequenter of public places both in town and country in hopes of raising his fortune would think himself but poorly paid for his pains were she even to obtain her fathers pardon should she engage without waiting for his consent as she was urged to do by letter which he found ways unsuspectedly to send her—I hope Sir I hope my Lord and you my two sisters that you will now from what I have said acquit me of insincerity tho you cannot of past indiscretion
Nevertheless my pride at times was piqued Sometimes I declared off at other times was prevailed upon by arts which men are masters of to go on again till I found myself entangled and at a loss to know how to go either backward or forward The gentleman was indeed of a genteel family But the object of my sisters regard had so much to be said for him stood so well with my brother and even with my father was so much the man of quality in every respect that a rash step in me would be lookd upon as the more disgraceful on that account And I could
not but apprehend that if I married Captain Anderson I must be pitied rejected scorned for one while if not for ever
And what title often thought I when I permitted myself seriously to think have I to give my father a son my brother my sister my Lord L should he and my sister marry a brother whom they would not have chosen nor will probably own—Have they not a right to reject him as their relation And shall Charlotte Grandison the daughter of the most prudent of mothers take a step that shall make her be looked upon as the disgrace of her family Shall she be obliged to follow a soldiers fortune into different quarters and perhaps to distant regions
Such as these were at times my reasonings and perhaps they wouldhave had the less force with me had I in giving myself an husband had none of these relations living on whom to obtrude a new one to their dislike by my marriage
Hence I could not bear to reveal the matter to my sister who in her choice had so much advantage over me I thought within these few weeks past I could reveal it to my newfound sister and it was one of my motives to come hither at your invitation Lord and Lady L when you told me she was so obliging as to accompany you down But she was everlastingly writing and I was shy of forcing an opportunity as none agreeably offerd
Sir Ch I would not interrupt you Charlotte—But may I ask if this whole affair was carried on by letter Did you not sometimes see each other
Miss Gr We did But our meetings were not frequent because he was at one time quarterd in Scotland at another was sent to Ireland where he staid six or seven months at others in distant parts of the kingdom
Sir Ch In what part of the kings dominions is the Captain now
Miss Gr Dear Sir could not the person who acquainted you with the affair inform you of that
Sir Ch smiling The person could madam and did He is in London
Miss Gr I hope my brother after the freedom of my confession and an ingenuousness that is not often found in such cases as this will not be so unkind as to imagine that I ought to have traps laid for me as if I were not now at last frank and unreserved
Sir Ch Exceedingly just Charlotte exceedingly just—I beg your pardon I said we had all something to be forgiven for I am not however questioning you with intent to cast a stone but to lend you a hand
Miss Gr O that we had had liberty granted to us having such a brother to correspond with him—Happy shall I be if I can atone—
There she stopt
Sir Ch Proceed with your story my dear Charlotte—Greatly does the atonement overbalance the fault
Miss Gr bowing to her brother Captain Anderson is in town I have seen him twice I was to have seen him at the play had I not come down to Colnebrooke Not a tittle of the truth will I hide from you Now I have recoverd the right path not one wry step will I again willingly take I have sufferd enough by those I had taken tho I endeavourd to carry it off as well as I could even sometimes by a spirit of bravery when it lay heavy here—putting her hand to her heart
Sir Charles rose from his seat and taking one of his sisters hands between both his Worthy sister Amiable Charlotte After this noble frankness I must not permit you to accuse yourself An error gracefully acknowledged is a victory won If you think Captain Anderson worthy of your heart he
shall have a place in mine and I will use my interest with Lord and Lady L to allow of his relation to them Miss Byron and Dr Bartlett will look upon him as their friend
He sat down again his countenance shining with brotherly love
Miss Gr O Sir what shall I say You add to my difficulties by your goodness I have told you how I had entangled myself Captain Andersons address began with hopes of a great fortune▪ which he imagined a daughter of Sir Thomas Grandison could not sail first or last to have That this was his principal motive has been on many occasions on too many for his advantage visible to me My allowance of his address as I have hinted was owing to my apprehensions that I should not be a fortune worthy of a more generous man At that time our life was a confined one and I girlishly wished for Liberty—MATRIMONY and LIBERTY—Girlish connexion as I have since thought
We could none of us help smiling at this lively fally But she went on more seriously
I thought at first that I could break with him when I would But he holds me to it and the more since he has heard of your goodness to me and builds great hopes of future preferment on the alliance
Sir Ch But do you not love Captain Anderson my sister
Miss Gr I believe I love him as well as he loves me His principal view as I have said has come out avowedly to be my fortune If I regulate my esteem for him by his for me I ought not for the very reason that he likes me to approve of him
Sir Ch I do not wonder that the Captain is serious to hold you to it to use your words But my dear Charlotte answer me Have you had less liking to Captain Anderson since your fortune is ascertained and absolutely in your own power than you had before
Miss Gr Not on that account if I know my heart But he has been a much more earnest suiter since your goodness to me was generally known than before When public report had made me absolutely dependent on my brother and diminished beyond the truth as it has proved the circumstances of the family and when my sister and I were unhappy between our fears and our hopes I then heard but little from Captain Anderson and that little was so prudent and so cold—But I had found out the man before
Lord and Lady L with warmth of voice called him unworthy man I thought him so and so by his looks did Dr Bartlett
Sir Ch Poor man—He seems to have been too prudent to trust even to providence But what my sister are now your difficulties
Miss Gr They proceed from my folly Captain Anderson appeared to me at first a man of sense, as well as an agreeable man in his person and air He had a lively and easy elocution He spoke without doubt and I had therefore the less doubt of his understanding The man who knows how to say agreeable things to a woman in an agreeable manner has her vanity on his side since to doubt his veracity would be to question her own merit When he came to write my judgment was even still more engaged in his favour than before But when he thought himself on a safe footing with me he then lost his handwriting and his stile and even his orthography I blush to say it and I then blushed to see it
Sir Ch Men will be men It is natural for us when we find out our imperfections to endeavour to supply them or to gloss them over to those whose good opinion of us we wish to engage I have known men who are not so ready as the Captain seems to have been to find out their own defects Captain Anderson perhaps lost his letterwriter by
the shifting of quarters But it is strange that a man of family as the Captain is should be so very illiterate
Miss Gr His early wildnesses as I afterwards heard made him run from school before he had acquired common schoollearning His friends bought him a pair of colours That was all they would ever do for him And his father marrying a second wife by whom he had children considered not him as one This came out to be his story But he displayed himself to me in very different lights He pretended to have a pretty estate which tho not large was wellconditioned and capable of improvement besides very considerable expectations A mind that would not impose on another must least bear to be imposed upon himself But I could not help despising him when I found myself so grosly imposed upon by the letters he had procured to be written for him and that he was not either the man of sense, or learning that he would have had me think him
Sir Ch But what was the safe footing my sister that he thought he was upon with you
Miss Gr O Sir while all these good appearances held in his favour he had teazed me into a promise And when he had gained that point▪ then it was or soon after that he wrote to me with his own hand And yet tho he convinced me by doing so that he had before employed another it was a point agreed upon that our intercourse was to be an absolute secret and I trembled to find myself exposed to his scribe a man I knew not and who must certainly despise the lover whom he helped to all his agreeable flourishes and in despising him must probably despise me Yet I will say that my letter were such as I can submit to the severest eye It was indeed giving him encouragement enough that I answered him by pen and ink and he presumed enough upon it or he
had never dared to teaze me for a promise as he did for months before I made him one
Sir Ch Women should never be drawnin to fetter themselves by promises On the contrary they ought always to despise and directly to break with the man who offers to exact a promise from them To what end is a promise of this kind endeavoured to be obtained if the urger suspects not the fitness of his addresses in the eyes of those who have a right to be consulted and if he did not doubt either his own merit or the ladys honour and discretion—Therefore wanted to put it out of her own power to be dutiful or if she had begun to swerve by listening to a clandestine address to recover herself Your father my dear but you might not know that could have absolved you from this promise a You have not now however anybody to controul you You are absolutely your own mistress And I see not but a promise—But pray of what nature was this promise
Miss Gr O my folly—I declared that I never would marry any other man without his consent while he was single By this means to my confusion I own that I made him my father my guardian my brother at least I made the influences over me of such of them as had been living of no avail in the most material article of my life teazed as I told you into it and against my judgment
Soon after he let me know as I said in his own handwriting what an illiterate what a mere supersicial man I had entered into treaty with And ever since I have been endeavouring by pen as well as in person to get him to absolve me from my rash promise And this was my view and endeavour before I had a title to the independence in which Sir you was so good as to establish me
I once thought proceeded she that he would
easily have complied and have lookd out elsewhere for a wife for I sought not to fetter him as you justly call it He was not of so much consequence with me and this renders me perhaps the less excuseable—But you held me not long enough in suspense as to the great things you intended to do for me to enable me to obtain that release from Captain Anderson which I was meditating to procure before he knew what those were
All this time I kept my own secret I had not confidence enough in the steps I had so rashly taken indeed had not humility enough to make any living creature acquainted with my situation And this was the reason I suppose that I never was guessed at or found out The proverb says▪ Two can keep a secret when one is away But my Harriet knows I bowed that I very early in my knowledge of her dropt hints of an entanglement as I ludicrously called it for I could not with justice say Love
Sir Ch Charming frankness How do your virtues shine thro your very mistakes—But there are many women who have sufferd themselves to be worse entangled even beyond recovery when they have not had to plead the apprehensions which you had at entering into this affair
Miss Gr You are Sir Charles Grandison Sir I need no• say more We often dread in rash encounter• to make those communications which only can be means to •••ricate us from the difficulties into which we have plunged ourselves Had I for the last six or seven years of my life known my brother as I now know him had I been indulged in a correspondence with him in his absence not a step would I have taken but with his approbation
Sir Ch Perhaps I was too implicit on this occasion But I always thought it more safe in a disputable case to check than to give way to an inclination My father knew the world He was not an illnatured man
He loved his daughters I had not the vanity to imagine that my sisters the youngest near as old as myself would want my advice in material articles And to break thro a fathers commands for the sake merely of gratifying myself—I dont know how—But I could not do it And as a considerate person when he has lost a dear friend and more particularly a parent is apt to recollect with pleasure those instances in which he has given joy to the departed and with pain the contrary methinks I am the more satisfied with myself for having obeyed a command that however at the time I knew not how to account for
Miss Gr You are happy brother in this recollection I should be more unhappy than I am on your principles had I vexed my father in this affair Thank God he knew nothing of it But now Sir I have told you the whole truth I have not aggravated the failings of Captain Anderson nor wish to do so for the man that once I had but the shadow of a thought to make one day my nearest relation is intitled I think to my good wishes tho he prove not quite so worthy as I once believed him
Permit me however to add that Captain Anderson is passionate overbearing I have never of late met him but with great reluctance Had I not come to Colnebrooke I should have seen him as I confessed but it was with the resolution that I had for a considerable time past avowed to him Never to be his and to be a single woman all my life if he would not disengage me of my rash my foolish promise And now be pleased looking round her to every one present to advise me what to do
Lord L I think the man utterly unworthy of you sister Charlotte I think you are right to resolve never to have him
Lady L Without waiting for my brothers opinion I must say That he acts most ungenerously and unworthily to hold you to an unequal promise A promise
the like of which you offered not to bind him by I cannot Charlotte think you bound by such a promise And the poor trick of getting another person to write his letters for him and exposing my sister to a stranger and against stipulation—How I should hate him—What say you sister Harriet
Harriet I should be unworthy of this kind confidence if thus called upon I did not say something tho it came out to be next to nothing—There seems not to have been any strong affection any sympathy of soul if I may so express myself at any time Miss Grandison between you and Captain Anderson I think
Sir Ch A very proper question
Miss Gr There was not on either side I believe I have hinted at my motives and at his In every letter of his he gave me cause to confirm what I have said of his selfinterestedness And now his principal plea to hold me to my promise is his interest I would not to him I never did plead mine tho his example would excuse me if I did
Lord L Was the promise given in writing sister
Miss Gr Indeed it was She looked down
Harriet May I be pardond madam—The substance of your promise was That you would never marry any other man without his consent while he remained unmarried—Did you promise that if ever you did marry at all it should be to him
Miss Gr No He wanted me to promise that but I refused And now my Harriet what is your advice
Harriet I beg to hear Dr Bartletts opinion and yours Sir to Sir Charles before I presume to give mine
Sir Charles looked at the Doctor The Doctor referred himself to him
Sir Ch Then Doctor you must set me right if I am wrong You are a Casuist
As to what Lord L has said I think with his Lordship that Captain Anderson appears not in any of his conduct to be worthy of Miss Grandison And in truth I dont know many who are If I am partial excuse the brother
She bowed Every one was pleased that Miss Grandison was enabled to hold up her head as she did on this compliment from her brother
Sir Ch I think also if my sister esteems him not she is in the right to resolve never to be his But what shall we say, as to her promise Never to be the wife of any other man without his consent▪ while he remains unmarried It was made I apprehend while her father was living who might I believe Doctor you will allow have absolved her from it But then her very treating with him since to dispense with it shews that in her own conscience she thinks herself bound by it
Every one being silent he proceeded
Lady L is of opinion that he acts ungenerously and unworthily to endeavour to hold her to an unequal promise But what man except a very generous one indeed having obtained an advantage over such a woman as Charlotte She reddend would not try to hold it Must he not by giving up this advantage vote against himself Women should be sure of the men in whom they place a confidence that concerns them highly Can you think that the man who engages a woman to make a promise does not intend to hold her to it When he teazes her to make it he as good as tells her he does let what will happen to make her wish she had not
Miss Gr O my brother The repetition of that word teazes—Are you not raillying me—Indeed I deserve it
Sir Ch Men gain all their advantages by teazing by promises by importunities—Be not concerned my Charlotte that I use your word
Miss Gr O my brother what shall I do if you railly me on my folly
Sir Ch I mean not to railly you But I know something of my own sex and must have been very negligent of my opportunities if I know not something of the world I thought Lucy he would here have used the word other instead of the word world We have heard her reason for not binding the Captain by a like promise which was That she did not value him enough to exact it And was not that his misfortune
She is apprehensive of blame on this head But her situation will be considerd I must not repeat the circumstances I was grieved to hear that my sisters had been in such circumstances What pity that those who believe they best know the Sex think themselves intitled to treat it with least respect How we women looked upon one another!] I should hope in charity In charity Lucy and for the true value I bear it as I think a good woman one of the greatest glories of the creation that the fault is not generally in the Sex
As to the Captains artifice to obtain a footing by letters of another mans writing that was enough indeed to make a woman who herself writes finely despise him when she knew it But to what will not persons stoop to gain a point on which their hearts are fixed—This is no new method One signal instance I will mention Madam Maintenon it is reported was employed in this way by a favourite mistress of Louis XIV And this was said to be the means of introducing her to the monarchs favour on the ruins of her employer Let me repeat that women should be sure of their men before they embark with them in the voyage of Love Hate the man says Lady L for exposing her to the letter writer—Exposing—Let me say That women who would not be exposed should not put themselves out of their
own power O Miss Byron turning to my confusion to me who was too ready to apply the first part of the caution be so good as to tell my Emily that she never love a man of whose Love she is not well assured That she never permit a man to know his consequence with her till she is sure he is grateful just and generous And that she despise him as a mean and interested man the first moment he seeks to engage her in a promise Forgive me Charlotte You so generously blame yourself that youwill not scruple to have your experience pleaded for an example to a young creature who may not be able if entangled▪ to behave with your magnanimity
Seasonably did he say this last part so immediatley after his reference to me for I made Miss Grandisons confusion a halfcover for my own and I fear but a halfcover
I find I must not allow myself to be long from you my dear friends at least in this company Miss Cantillon Miss Barnevelt and half a dozen more Misses and Masters with whose characters and descriptions I first paraded Where are you Where can I find you My heart when I saw you at Lady Betty Williamss was easy and unapprehensive I could then throw my little squibs about me at pleasure and not fear by their return upon me the singeing of my own cloaths
BUT now what remains to be done for our sister askd Lady L Charlotte looked round her as seconding the question Every one referrd to Sir Charles
In the first place let me assure you my dear Charlotte resumed he that if you have but the shadow of a
preference for Captain Anderson and if you believe from what has passed between you and from the suspense you have kept him in which may have been a hindrance to his fortune or preferment that you ought to be his whether in justice or by inclination I will amicably meet him in order to make and to receive proposals If we do not find him grateful or generous we will make him so by our example and I will begin to set it
Every one was affected Dr Bartlett as much as anybody Miss Grandison could hardly sit still Her chair was uneasy to her While her brother looked like one who was too much accustomed to acts of beneficence to suppose he had said any-thing extraordinary
Miss Grandison after some hesitation replied Indeed Sir Captain Anderson is not worthy of being called your brother I will not enter into the particulars of his unworthiness because I am determined not to have him He knows I am Nor does my promise engage me to be his Had he virtue had he generosity—But indeed he has not either in the degree that would make me respect him as a woman should respect her husband
Sir Ch Well then Charlotte I would have you excuse yourself if you have given him hope of meeting him let him know that you have acquainted me with all that has passed between you and that you refer yourself wholly to me but with a resolution if such be your resolution never to be his
Miss Gr I shall dread his violent temper
Sir Ch Dread nothing Men who are violent to a woman when they have a point to carry by being so are not always violent to men But I shall treat him civilly If the man ever hoped to call you his he will be unhappy enough in losing such a prize You may tell him that I will give him a meeting whereever he pleases Mean time it may not be amiss if
you have no objection to shew me some of the letters that have passed between you of those particularly in which you have declared your resolution not to be his the farther backward the better if from the date of such you have always been of the same mind
Miss Gr You shall see the copies of all my letters and all his if you please And you will gather from both Sir that it was owing to the unhappy situation I thought myself in from the unkind treatment my sister met with and to the being forbidden to expect a fortune that would intitle me to look up to a man of figure in the world that I was ever approachable by Captain Anderson
Sir Ch Unhappy But let us look forward I will meet Captain Anderson If there are any letters in which he has treated my sister undhandsomely you must not let me see them My motive for looking into any of them is service to you Charlotte and not curiosity But let me nevertheless see all that is necessary to the question that I may not when I meet him hear any-thing from him that I have not heard from you and which may make for him and against you I do assure you that I will allow in his favour all that shall appear favourable to him tho against my sister I may meet him prejudiced but not determined And I hope you see by my behaviour to you Charlotte that were you and he to have been fond Lovers in your letters you need not be afraid of my eye I never am severe on Lovers foibles Our passions may be made subservient to excellent purposes Dont think you have a supercilious brother A susceptibility of the passion called Love I condemn not as a fault but the contrary Your brother Ladies looking upon all three is no Stoic
And have you been in love Sir Charles Grandison thought I to myself—Shall I Lucy be sorry or shall I be glad if he has—But after all is it not strange that in all this time one knows so little of his history
while he was abroad—And yet he said That he was not angry at his sister for questioning him on the subject Had I been his sister questions of that sort would not have been to be now asked
But here is a new task for her brother I shall long to know how this affair will end
The tryal of Miss Grandison as she called it being thus happily over and Miss Emily and Mr Grandison desired to walk in Sir Charles took notice with some severity on our sex on the general liking which he said women have for military men He did not know he said whether the army were not beholden to this approbation and to the gay appearance officers were expected to make rather than to a true martial spirit for many a gallant man
What say you Emily said he Do not a cockade and a scarlet coat become a fine gentleman and help to make him so in your eyes
Be pleased Sir to tell me how such a one should look in my eyes and I will endeavour to make them conform to your lessons
He bowed to the happy girl For my part said he I cannot but say that I dislike the life of a soldier in general whose trade is in blood who must be as much a slave to the will of his superiors in command as he is almost obliged to be a tyrant to those under him
But as to the Sex if it were not that Ladies where Love and their own happiness interfere are the most incompetent judges of all others for themselves—Pardon me—
Your servant Sir said Lady L—And we all bowed to him
How can a woman proceeded he who really loves her husband subject herself of choice to the necessary absences to the continual apprehensions which she must be under for his safety when he is in the height of what is emphatically called his DUTY He stopt
No answer being made Perhaps resumed he i may be thus accounted for Women are the most delicate part of the creation Conscious of the weakness of their sex and that they stand in need of protection for apprehensiveness the child of prudence▪ is as characteristic in them as courage in a man they naturally love brave men—And are not all military men supposed to be brave
But how are they mistaken in their main end supposing this to be it
I honour a good a generous a brave and humane soldier But were such an one to be the bravest of men how can his wife expect constant protection from the husband who is less his own and consequently less hers than almost any other man can be a sailor excepted and who must therefore oftener than any other man leave her exposed to those insults from which she seems to think he can best defend her
Lady L smiling But may it not be said Sir that those women who make soldiers their choice deserve in some degree a rank with heroes when they can part with their husbands for the sake of their countrys glory
Sir Ch Change your word glory for safety Lady L and your question will be strengthend The word and thing called Glory what mischief has it not occasioned—As to the question itself were you serious let every one I answer who can plead the motive be intitled to the praise that is due to it
Miss Gr There is so much weight in what my brother has said that I thank Heaven I am not in danger of being the wife of a soldier
We who knew what she alluded to smiled at it and Mr Grandison looked about him as if he wanted to find more in the words than they could import to him And then was very earnest to know how his cousin had come off
Sir Ch Triumphantly cousin Charlottes supposed fault h•s brought to light additional excellencies
Mr Gr I am sorry for that with all my soul—There was no bearing her before—And now what will become of me
Miss Gr You have nothing new to fear Mr Grandison I assure you I have been detected in real faults I have been generously treated and repent of my fault Let me have an instance of like ingenuousness in you and I will say there are hopes of us both
Mr Gr Your servant cousin Either way I must have it But were you to follow the example by which you own yourself amended I might have the better chance perhaps of coming up to you in ingenuousness
Lord L Upon my word sister Charlotte Mr Grandison has said a good thing
Miss Gr I think so too my Lord I will put it down And if you are wise Sir to him ask me to sew up your lips till tomorrow dinnertime
Mr Grandison looked offended
Sir Ch Fie Charlotte
I am glad thought I my good Miss Grandison that you have not lost much spirit by your tryal
MISS Grandison has shewed me some of the letters that passed between Captain Anderson and her How must she have despised him had she been drawn in to give him her hand And the more for the poor figure he would have made as a brother to her brother How must she have blushed at every civility paid him in such a family Yet from passages in his letters I dare say he would have had the higher opinion of himself first for his success with her and for every civility paid him afterwards by her relations
And thus had Sir Thomas Grandison with all his pride like to have thrown his daughter a woman of
high character fine understanding and an exalted mind into the arms of a man who had neither fortune nor education nor yet good sense nor generosity of heart to countenance his pretensions to such a Lady or her for marrying beneath herself
This is a copy of what Miss Grandison has written to send to Captain Anderson
Sir
HAD I had a generous man to deal with I needed not to have exposed myself to the apprehended censures of a brother whose virtues made a sister less perfect than himself afraid that he would think her unworthy of that tender relation to him from the occasion But he is the noblest of brothers He pities me and undertakes to talk with you in the most friendly manner at your own appointment upon a subject that has long greatly distressed me as well you know I will not recriminate as I might But this assurance I must for the hundredth time repeat That I never can never will be to you any other than
CHARLOTTE GRANDISON
She is dissatisfied with what she has written But I tell her I think it will do very well
Thursday Mar 16
SIR Charles has already left us He went to town this morning on the affairs of his executorship He breakfasted with us first
Dr Bartlett with whom already I have made myself very intimate and who I find knows his whole heart tells me he is always fully employed That we knew before—No wonder then that he is not in love He
has not had leisure I suppose to attend to the calls of such an idle passion
You will do me the justice to own that in the round of employments I was engaged in at Selbyhouse I never knew any-thing of the matter But indeed there was no Sir Charles Grandison first to engage my gratitude and then my heart So it is I must not it seems deny it If I did
a child in Lovematters would detect me
O MY Lucy I have been hard set by these sisters They have found me out or rather let me know that they long ago found me out I will tell you all as it passed
I had been so busy with my pen that tho accustomed to be first dressed wherever I was I was now the last They entered my dressingroom arm in arm and I have since recollected that they looked as if they had mischief in their hearts Miss Grandison especially She had said She would play me a trick
I was in some little hurry to be so much behindhand when I saw them dressed
Miss Grandison would do me the honour of assisting me and dismissed Jenny who had but just come in to offer her service
She called me charming creature twice as she was obligingly busy about me and the second time said Well may my brother Lady L say what he did of this girl
With too great eagerness What what said I—I was going to add—did he say—But catching myself up in a tone of less surprize—designing to turn it off—WHAT honour you do me madam in this your kind assistance
Miss Grandison leered archly at me then turning to Lady L This Harriet of ours said she is more than half a rogue
Punish her then Charlotte said Lady L You have tho with much ado been brought to speak out yourself and so have acquired a kind of right to punish those who affect disguises to their best friends
Lord bless me Ladies And down I sat—What what—I was going to say do you mean But stopt and I felt my face glow
What what repeated Miss Grandison—My sweet girl can say nothing but What what—One of my fellows Sir Walter Watkyns is in her head I suppose—Did you ever see Wat—Watkyns Harriett
My handkerchief was in my hand as I was going to put it on I was unable to throw it round my neck O how the fool throbbed and trembled
Miss Gr Confirmation Lady L Confirmation
Lady L I think so truly—But it wanted none to me
Har I am surprised Pray Ladies what can you mean by this sudden attack
Miss Gr And what Harriet can you mean by these What whats and this sudden emotion—Give me your handkerchief—What doings are here
She snatchd it out of my trembling hand and put it round my neck—Why this sudden palpitation—Ah Harriet Why wont you make confidents of your two sisters Do you think we have not found you out before this
Har Found me out How found me out—Dear Miss Grandison you are the most alarming Lady that ever lived—
I stood up trembling
Miss Gr Am I so But to cut the matter short—Sit down Harriet You can hardly stand Is it such a disgraceful thing for a fine girl to be in Love
Har Who I I in Love
Miss Gr laughing So Lady L you see that Harriet has found herself out to be a fine girl—
Disqualify now cant you my dear Tell fibs▪ Be affected Say you are not a sine girl andsoforth
Har Dear Miss Grandison—It was your turn the day before yesterday How can you forget—
Miss Gr Spiteful too My life to a farthing you pay for this Harriet—But child I was not in Love—Ah Harriet That gentleman in Northhamptonshire—Did you think we should not find you out
This heartend me a little
Har O Madam do you think to come at anything by such methods as this I ought to have been aware of Miss Grandisons alarming ways
Miss Gr You pay for this also Harriet Did you not say that I should take the reins Lady L I will have no mercy on our younger sister for this abominable affectation and reserve
Har And so Ladies you think I warrant that Mr Orme—
Lord L Take the reins Charlotte making a motion with a sweet pretty air with her handkerchief as if she tossed her something—I myself Harriet am against you now I wanted a trial of that frankness of heart for which I have heard you so much commended And surely you might have shewed it if to any persons living to your two sisters
Miss Gr No more▪ no more Lady L Have you not left her to me I will punish her You will have too much lenity—And now tell me Harriet—Dont you love Mr Orme better than any Man you ever yet saw
Har Indeed I do not
Miss Gr Whom do you love better Harriet
Har Pray Miss Grandison
Miss Gr And pray Miss Byron▪
Har Resume the reins Lady L—Pray do—
Miss Grandison has no mercy Yet met with a great deal the day before yester—
Miss Gr The day before yesterday—Very well—But then I was ingenuous—
Har And am not I—Pray Lady L
Lady L I think not—
And she seemed a little too cruelly to enjoy the flutter I was in
Miss Gr And you say that there is no one gentleman in Northamptonshire—
Har What is the meaning of this Ladies But I do assure you there is not—
Miss Gr See Lady L there are some questions that the girl can answer readily enough
I believe I looked serious I was silent Indeed my very soul was vexed
Miss Gr Ay Harriet be sullen Dont answer any questions at all Thats your only way now—And then we go no further you know But tell me—Dont you repent that you have given a denial to Lady D
Har I wont be sullen Ladies Yet I am not pleased to be thus—
Miss Gr Then own yourself a woman Harriet and that in some certain instances you have both affectation and reserve There are some cases my dear in which it is impossible but a woman must be guilty of affectation
Har Well then suppose I am I never pretended to be clear of the foibles which you impute to the Sex I am a weak a very weak creature You see I am—
And I put my hand in my pocket for my handkerchief
Miss Gr Ay weep love My sister has heard me say that I never in my life saw a girl so lovely in tears
Har What have I done to deserve—
Miss Gr Such a compliment—Hay—But you shant weep neither—Why why is this subject so •ffecting Harriet
Har You surprise me—Parted with you but an hour or two ago—And nothing of these reproaches And now all at once both Ladies—
Miss Gr Reproaches Harriet—
Har I believe so I dont know what else to call them
Miss Gr What Is it a reproach to be taxed with Love—
Har But the manner madam—
Miss Gr The manner you are taxed with it is the thing then—Well putting on a grave look and assuming a softer accent—You are in Love however But with whom is the question—Are we your sisters intitled to know with whom
Surely Ladies thought I you have something to say that will make me amends for all this intolerable teazing And yet my proud heart whatever it were to be swelled a little that they should think that would be such high amends which however I by myself communing only with my own heart would have thought so
Lady L coming to me and taking my hand Let me tell you our dearest Harriet that you are the most insensible girl in the world if you are not in Love—And now what say you
Har Perhaps I do know Ladies enough of the Passion to wish to be less alarmingly treated
They then sitting down one on either side of me each took a hand of the trembling fool
I think I will resume the reins Charlotte said the Countess We are both cruel But tell us my lovely sister in one word tell your Caroline tell your Charlotte if you have any confidence in our love and indeed we love you or we would not have teazed you as we have done if there be not one man in the world whom you love above all men in it
I was silent I looked down I had in the same moment an ague in its cold and in its hot fit They
vouchsafed each to press with her lips the passive hand each held
Be not afraid to speak out my dear said Miss Grandison Assure yourself of my love my true sisterly love I once intended to lay the way to the opening of your heart by the discovery of my own before my brother as I hoped could have found me out—But nothing can be hid—
Madam Ladies said I and stood up in a hurry and in as great a discomposure sat down again—Your brother has not could not—I would die before—
Miss Gr Amiable delicacy—He has not—But say you Harriet he could not—If you would not be teazed dont aim at reserves—But think you that we could not see on an hundred occasions your heart at your eyes—That we could not affix a proper meaning to those sudden throbs just here patting my neck those halfsuppressed but always involuntary sighs—I sighed—Ay just such as that—I was confounded—But to be serious we do assure you Harriet that had we not thought ourselves under some little obligation to Lady Anne S we should have talked to you before on this subject The friends of that Lady have heen very solicitous with us—And Lady Anne is not averse—
Har Dear Ladies withdrawing the hand that Miss Grandison held and taking out my handkerchief you say you love me—Wont you despise whom you love—I do own—
There I stopt and dried my eyes
Lady L What does my Harriet own—
Har O madam had I a greater opinion of my own merit than I have reason to have and I never had so little an one as since I have known you two I could open to you without reserve my whole heart—But one request I have to make you—You must grant it
They both in a breath asked what that was
Har It is That you will permit your chariot to carry me to town this very afternoon—And long shall not that town hold your Harriet—Indeed indeed Ladies I cannot now ever look your brother in the face—And you will also both despise me I know you will
Sweet and as seasonable as sweet for I was very much affected were the assurances they gave m of their continued love
Miss Gr We have talked with our brother this morning—
Har About me I hope he has not a notion that—There I stopt
Lady L You were mentioned But we intend not to alarm you farther We will tell you what passed Lady Anne was our subject
I was all attention
Miss Gr We asked him if he had any thoughts of marriage The question came in properly enough from the subject that preceded it He was silent But sighed and looked grave Why did Sir Charles Grandison sigh Lucy We repeated the question You told us brother said I that you do not intend to resume the treaty begun by my father for Lady Frances N What think you of Lady Anne S We need not mention to you how considerable her fortune is what an enlargement it would give to your power of doing good nor what her disposition and qualities are Her person is far from being disagreeable And she has a great esteem for you
I think Lady Anne a very agreeable woman replied he But if she honours me with a preferable esteem she gives me regret because it is not in my power to return it
Not in your power brother
It is not in my power to return it
O Lucy how my heart slutterd The aguesir
came on again and I was hot and cold as before almost in the same Moment
They told me they would not teaze me further But there are subjects that cannot be touchd upon without raising emotion in the bosom of a person who hopes and is uncertain O the cruelty of suspense How every new instance of it tears in pieces my before almost bursting heart
Miss Gr My brother went on—You have often hinted to me at a distance this subject I will not as I might answer your question now so directly put by saying that it is my wish to see you Charlotte happily married before I engage myself But perhaps I shall be better enabled some time hence than I am at present to return such an answer as you may expect from a brother
Now my Harriet we are afraid by the words Not in his power and by the hint that he cannot at present answer our question as he may be enabled to do some time hence we are afraid that some foreign Lady—
They had raised my hopes and now exciting my fears by so wellgrounded an apprehension they were obliged for their pains to hold Lady Ls salts to my nose I could not help exposing myself my heart having been weakend too by their teazings before My head dropt on the shoulder of Miss Grandison Tears relieved me
I desired their pity They assured me of their love and called upon me as I valued their friendship to open my whole heart to them
I paused I hesitated For words did not immediately offer themselves But at last I said Could I have thought myself intitled to your▪ excuse Ladies your Harriet honoured as she was from the first with the appellation of sister would have had no reserve to her sisters But a just consciousness of my wn unworthiness overcame a temper that I will
say is naturally frank and unreserved Now however—
There I stopt and held down my head
Lady L Speak out my dear—What Now—
Miss Gr What Now however—
Harriet Thus called upon thus encouraged—And I lifted up my head as boldly as I could but it was not I believe very boldly I will own that the man who by so signal an instance of his bravery and goodness engaged my gratitude has possession of my whole heart
And then almost unknowing what I did I threw one of my arms as I sat between them round Lady Ls neck the other round Miss Grandisons my glowing face seeking to hide itself in Lady Ls bosom
They both embraced me and assured me of their united interest They said They knew I had also Dr Bartletts high regard But that they had in vain sought to procure new lights from him he constantly in everything that related to their brother referring himself to him And they assured me that I had likewise the best wishes and Interest of Lord L to the fullest extent
This Lucy is some—consolation—must I say—some ease to my pride as to what the family think of me But yet how is that pride mortified to be thus obliged to rejoice at this strengthening of hope to obtain an interest in the heart of a man of whose engagements none of us know any-thing! But if at last it shall prove that that worthiest of hearts is disengaged and if I can obtain an interest in it be pride out of the question The man as my aunt wrote is Sir Charles Grandison
I was very earnest to know since my eyes had been such telltales if their brother had any suspicion of my regard for him
They could not they said either from his words or behaviour gather that he had He had not been so
much with me as they had been Nor would they wish that he should suspect me The best of men they said loved to have difficulties to conquer Their brother generous as he was was a man
Yet Lucy I thought at the time of what he said at Sir Hargrave Pollexfens as recited by the shorthand writer—That he would not marry the greatest princess on earth if he were not assured that she loved him above all the men in it
I fancy my dear that we women when we love and are doubtful suffer a great deal in the apprehension at one time of disgusting the object of our passion by too forward a Love and at another of disobliging him by too great a reserve Dont you think so
The Ladies said They were extremely solicitous to see their brother married They wished it were to me rather than to any other woman and kindly added That I had their hearts even at the time when Lady Anne by a kind of previous engagement had their voices
And then they told me what their brother said of me with the hint of which they began this alarming conversation
When my brother had let us know said Miss Grandison that it was not in his power to return a preferable esteem for a like esteem if Lady Anne honoured him with it I said—Had Lady Anne as many advantages to boast of as Miss Byron has could you then brother like Lady Anne
Miss Byron replied he is a charming woman
Lady L slily enough continued Miss Grandison said Miss Byron is one of the prettiest women I ever beheld I never saw in any face youth and dignity and sweetness of aspect so happily blended
On this occasion Lucy my vanity may I hope revive so long as I repeat only and repeat justly
Forgive me Lady L replied my brother—But
as Alexander would be drawn only by Apelles so would I say to all those who leave mind out of the description of Miss Byron That they are not to describe her This young Lady You may look proud Harriet has united in her face feature complexion grace and expression which very few women even of those who are most celebrated for beauty have singly in equal degree But what is infinitely more valuable she has an heart that is equally pure and open She has a fine mind And it is legible in her face Have you not observed Charlotte added he what intelligence her very silence promises And yet when she speaks she never disappoints the most raised expectations
I was speechless Lucy
Well brother continued Miss Grandison—If there is not everything you say in Miss Byrons face and mind there seems to me little less than the warmth of Love in the description—You are another Apelles Sir if his colours were the most glowing of those of all painters
My eyes had the assurance to ask Miss Grandison What answer he returned to this She saw they had
Ah Harriet smilling—Thats a meaning look with all its bashfulness This was my brothers answer—
Everybody must love Miss Byron—You know Charlotte that I presented her to you and you to her as a third sister And what man better loves his sisters than your brother
We both looked down Harriet but not quite so silly and so dissappointed a you now look—
Dear Miss Grandison—
Well then another time dont let your eyes ask questions instead of your lips
Third sister my Lucy Indeed I believe I looked silly enough To say the truth I was dissappointed
Har And this was all that passed You hear by my question Ladies that my lips will keep my eyes in countenance
Miss Gr It was for he retired as soon as he had said this
Har How retired madam—Any discompo—You laugh at my folly at my presumption perhaps—
They both smiled No I cant say that there seemed to be either in his word or manner any distinguishing emotion any great discompo—He was about to retire before
Well Ladies I will only say That the best thing I can do is to borrow a chariotandsix and drive away to Northamptonshire
But wh yo Harriet
Because it is impossible but I must suffer in your brothers opinion every time he sees me and that whether I am silent or speaking
They made me fine compliments But they would indeed have been fine ones could they have made them from their brother
Well but Lucy dont you think that had Sir Charles Grandison meant any-thing, he would have expressed himself to his sisters in such high terms before he had said one very distinguishing thing to me Let me judge by myself—Men and women I believe are so much alike that put custom tyrantcustom out of the question the meaning of the one may be generally guessed at by that of the other in cases where the heart is concerned What civil what polite things could I allow myself to say to and of Mr Orme and Mr Fowler How could I praise the honesty and goodness of their hearts and declare my pity for them And why Because I meant nothing more by it all than a warmer kind of civility that I was not afraid to let go as their merits pulled—And now methinks I can better guess than I could till now at what Mr Greville meant when he wished me to declare that I hated him Sly wretch—since the woman who uses a man insolently in courtship certainly makes that man of more importance to her than she would wish him to think himself—
But why am I studious to torment myself What will be must
Who knows what Providence has designed for Sir Charles Grandison
—May he be happy But indeed my Lucy your Harriet is much otherwise at this time
Wednesday March 15
I WILL not let you lose the substance of a very agreeable conversation which we had last night after supper You may be sure I thought it the more agreeable as Sir Charles was drawn in to bear a considerable part in it It would be impossible to give you more than passages because the subjects were various and the transitions so quick by one person asking this question another that that I could not were I to try connect them as I endeavour generally to do
Of one subject Lucy I particularly owe you some account Miss Grandison in her lively way and lively she was notwithstanding her trial so lately over led me into talking of the detested masquerade She put me upon recollecting the giddy scene which those dreadfully interesting ones that followed it had made me wish to blot out of my memory
I spared you at the time Harriet said she I asked you no questions about the masquerade when you flew to us first poor frighted bird with all your gay plumage about you
I coloured a deep crimson I believe What were Sir Charless first thoughts of me Lucy in that fantastic that hated dress The simile of the bird too was his you know and Charlotte looked very archly
My dear Miss Grandison spare me still Let me
forget that ever I presumptuously ventured into such a scene of folly
Do not call it by harsh names Miss Byron said Sir Charles We are too much obliged to it
Can I Sir Charles call it by too harsh a name when I think how fatal in numberless ways the event might have proved But I do not speak only with reference to that Dont think my dear Miss Grandison that my dislike to myself and to this foolish diversion springs altogether from what befel me The same shocking villainy might have been attempted by the same vile man from a more laudable and reasonable diversion I had on the spot the same contempts the same disdain of myself the dislike of all those who seemed capable of joy on the light the foolish occasion
My good Charlotte said Sir Charles smiling is less timorous than her younger sister She might be persuaded I fancy to venture—
Under your conduct Sir Charles You know Lady L and I who have not yet had an opportunity of this sort were trying to engage you against the next subscriptionball
Indeed said Lady L our Harriets distress has led me into reflexions I never made before on this kind of diversion and I fancy her account of it will perfectly satisfy my curiosity
Sir Ch Proceed good Miss Byron I am as curious as your sisters to hear what you say of it The scene was quite new to you You probably expected entertainment from it Forget for a while the accidental consequences and tell us how you were at the time amused
Amused Sir Charles—Indeed I had no opinion of the diversion even before I went I knew I should despise it I knew I should often wish myself at home before the evening were over And so indeed I did I whispered my cousin Reeves more than once O madam
this is sad This is intolerable stuff This place is one great bedlam Good Heaven▪ Could there be in this one town so many creatures devoid of reason, as are here got together I hope we are all here
Yet you see said Miss Grandison however Lady L is or seems to be instantaneously informed there were two who would gladly have been there The more you may be sure for its having been a diversion prohibited to us at our first coming to town Sir Charles lived long in the land of masquerades—Oh my dear we used to please ourselves with hopes that when he was permitted to come over to England we should see golden days under his auspices
Sir Ch smiling Will you accompany us to the next subscriptionball Miss Byron
I Sir Charles should be inexcusable if I thought—
Miss Gr interrupting and looking archly Not under our brothers conduct Harriet
Indeed my dear Miss Grandison had the diversion not been prohibited had you once seen the wild the senseless confusion you would think just as I do And you would have one stronger reason against countenancing it by your presence for who at this rate shall make the stand of virtue and decorum if such Ladies as Miss Grandison and Lady L do not—But I speak of the common masquerades which I believe are more disorderly I was disgusted at the freedoms taken with me tho but the common freedoms of the place by persons who singled me from the throng hurried me round the rooms and engaged me in fifty idle conversations and to whom by the privilege of the place I was obliged to be bold pert saucy and to aim at repartee and smartness the current wit of that witless place They once got me into a countrydance No prude could come or if she came could be a prude there
Sir Ch Were you not pleased Miss Byron with the first coup doeil of that gay apartment
A momentary pleasure but when I came to reflect the bright light striking on my tinsel dress made me seem to myself the more conspicuous fool Let me be kept in countenance as I might by scores of still more ridiculous figures what thought I are other peoples follies to me Am I to make an appearance that shall want the countenance of the vainest if not the silliest part of the creation What would my good grandfather have thought could he have seen his Harriet the girl whose mind he took pains to form and enlarge mingling in a habit so preposterously rich and gaudy with a croud of Satyrs Harlequins Scaramouches Fauns and Dryads nay of Witches and Devils the graver habits striving which should most disgrace the characters they assumed and every one endeavouring to be thought the direct contrary of what they appeared to be
Miss Gr Well then the Devils at least must have been charming creatures
Lady L But Sir Charles might not a masquerade if decorum were observed and every one would support with wit and spirit the assumed character—
Mr Gr Devils and all Lady L
Lady L It is contrary to decorum for such shocking characters to be assumed at all But might it not Sir Charles so regulated be a rational and an almost instructive entertainment
Sir Ch You would scarcely be able my dear sister to collect eight or nine hundred people all wits and all observant of decorum And if you could does not the example reach down to those who are capable of taking only the bad and dangerous part of a diversion which you may see by every common newspaper is become dreadfully general
Mr Gr Well Sir Charles and why should not the poor devils in low life divert themselves as well as their betters For my part I rejoice when I see advertised
an eighteenpenny masquerade for all the pretty prentice souls who will that evening be Arcadian Shepherdesses Goddesses and Queens
I blushed at the word Arcadian yet Mr Grandison did not seem to have my masquerade dress in his thoughts
Miss Gr What low profligate scenes couldst thou expatiate upon good man if thou wert in proper company I warrant those Goddesses have not wanted an adorer in our cousin Everard
Mr Gr Dear Miss Charlotte take care I protest you begin to talk with the spite of an old maid
Miss Gr There brother Do you hear the wretch Will not you knighterrand like defend the cause of a whole class of distressed damsels with our good Yorkshire aunt at the head of them
Sir Ch Those general prejudices and aspersions Charlotte are indeed unjust and cruel Yet I am for having everybody marry Bachelors cousin Everard and maids when long single are looked upon as houses long empty which nobody cares to take As the houses in time by long disuse will be thought by the vulgar haunted by evil spirits so will the other by the many be thought possessed by no good ones
The transition was somehow made from hence to the equitableness that ought to be in our judgements of one another. We must in these cases said Sir Charles throw merit in one scale demerit in the other and if the former weigh down the latter we must in charity pronounce to the persons advantage So it is humbly hoped we shall finally be judged ourselves For who is faultless
Yet said he for my own part that I may not be wanting to prudence I have sometimes where the merit is not very striking allowed persons at first acquaintance a short lease only in my good opinion some for three some for six some for nine others for twelve months renewable or not as they answer
expectation And by this meane I leave it to every one to make his own character with me I preserve my charity and my complacency and enter directly with frankness into conversation with him and generally continue that freedom to the end of the respective persons lease
Miss Gr I wonder how many of your leases brother have been granted to Ladies
Sir Ch Many Charlotte of the friendly sort But the kind you archly mean are out of the question at present We were talking of esteem
They insensibly led the conversation to Love and Courtship and he said What do you think he said Lucy That he should not perhaps were he in Love be overforward to declare his passion by words but rather shew it by his assiduities and veneration unless he saw that the suspense was painful to the object; and in this case it would be equally mean and insolent not to break silence and put himself in the power of her whose honour and delicacy ought to be dearer to him than his own
What say you to this Lucy
Some think proceeded he that the days of courtship are the happiest days of life But the man who as a Lover thinks so is not to be forgiven Yet it must be confessed that hope gives an ardour which subsides in certainty
Being called upon by Lord L to be more explicit
I am not endeavouring said he to set up my particular humour for a general rule For my own sake I would not by a too early declaration drive a Lady into reserves since that would be to rob myself of those innocent freedoms and of that complacency to which an honourable Lover might think himself entitled and which might help him Dont be affrighted Ladies to develop the plaits and folds of the female heart
This developement stuck with us women a little We talked of it afterwards And Miss Grandison then said It was well her cousin Everard said not that And he answered Sir Charles may with more safety steal an horse than I look over the hedge
Miss Gr Ay cousin Grandison that is because you are a Rake A name believe me of at least as much reproach as that of an Old Maid
Mr Gr Aspersing a whole class at once Miss Charlotte Tis contrary to your own maxim And a class too this of the Rakes that many a generousspirited girl chooses out of when she would dispose of herself and her fortune
Miss Gr How malapert this Everard
What Sir Charles next said made him own the character more decently by his blushes
The woman who chooses a Rake said he does not consider that all the sprightly airs for which she preferred him to a better man either vanish in matrimony or are shewn to others to her mortal disquiet The agreeable will be carried abroad The disagreeable will be brought home If he reform and yet bad habits are very difficult to shake off he will probably from the reflexions on his past guilty life be an unsociable companion should deep and true contrition have laid hold on him If not what has she chosen He married not from honest principles A Rake despises matrimony If still a Rake what hold will she have of him A Rake in Passion is not a Rake in Love Such a one can seldom be in Love From a laudable passion he cannot He has no delicacy His Love deserves a vile name And if so it will be strange if in his eyes a common woman excel not his modest wife
What he said was openly approved by the Gentlemen tacitly by the Ladies
The subject changing to marriages of persons of unequal years I knew said Lord L a woman of character
and not reckoned to 〈…〉 who married at twenty a man of more than fif•y in hopes of burying him but who lived with her •eward of twenty years and then dying she is now in treaty with a young Rake of twentytwo She is rich and poor woman hopes to be happy Pity Sir Charles she could not see the picture you have been dra••ng
Retribution said Sir Charles will frequently take its course The Lady keeping in view one steady purpose which was That she would marry a young man whenever death removed the old one forgot when she lost her husband that she had been growing older for the last twenty years and will now very probably be the despised mate to the young husband that her late husband was to her Thirty years hence the now young man will perhaps fall into the error of his predecessor if he outlive the wife he is going to take and be punished in the same way These are what may be called punishments in kind The violators of the social duties are frequently punished by the success of their own wishes Dont you think my Lord that it is suitable to the divine benignity as well as justice to lend its sanctions and punishments in aid of those duties which bind man to man
Lord L said some very good things Your Harriet was not a mute But you know that my point is to let you into the character and sentiments of Sir Charles Grandison And whenever I can do them tolerable justice I shall keep to that point You will promise for me you say Lucy—I know you will
But one might have expected that Dr Bartlett would have said more than he did on some of the subjects Yet Mr Grandison and he and Miss Emily were almost equally and attentively silent till the last scene And then the Doctor said I must shew you a little translation of Miss Emilys from the Italian She blushed and looked as if she knew not whether she should stay or go I shall be glad to see
any-thing of my Emilys said Sir Charles I know she is a mistress of that language and elegant in her own Pray my dear to her let us be obliged if it will not pain you
She blushed and bowed
I must first tell you said the Doctor that I was the occasion of her choosing so grave a subject as you will find that of the sonnet from which hers is taken
A sonnet said Miss Grandison My dear little POETESS you must set it and sing it to us
No indeed madam said Miss Jervois blushing still more Dr Bartlett would by no means have me a Poetess I am sure And did you not dear madam speak that word as if you meant to call me a name
I think she did my dear said Sir Charles Nor would I have had my Emily distinguished by any name but that of a discreet an ingenious and an amiable young woman The title of Wit and Poetess has been disgraced too often by Sapphos and Corrinnas ancient and modern Was not this in your head sister But do not be disturbed my Emily the poor girls eyes glistened I mean no check to liveliness and modest ingenuity The easy productions of a fine fancy not made the business of life or its boast confer no denomination that is disgraceful but very much the contrary
I am very glad for all that said Miss Jervois that my little translation is in plain prose Had it not I should have been very much afraid to have it seen
Even in that case you need not to have been afraid my dear Miss Jervois said the good Dr Bartlett Sir Charles is an admirer of good poetry And Miss Grandison would have recollected the Philomelas the Orinadas and other excellent names among her own sex whose fine genius does it honour
Your diffidence and sweet humility my dear Emily said Lady L would in you make the most envied accomplishments amiable
I am sure said the lovely girl hanging down her head tears ready to start I have reason to be affected with the subject—The indulgent mother is described with so much sweet tenderness—O what pleasures do mothers lose who want tenderness
We all either by eyes or voices called for the Sonnet and her translation Dr Bartlett shewed them to us and I sent copies of both
SONNET of Nicanvo da Filicaja
Qua madreì figlli con pietoso affetto
Mira e damor si strugge a lor davante
E un bacia in fronte ed un si stringe al petto
Uno tien su i ginnocchi un sulle piante
E mentre agli atti a i gemiti all aspetto
Lor voglie intende si diverse e tante
A questi un guardo a quei dispensa un detto
E se ride o sadira è sempre amante
Tal per noi Provvidenza alta infinita
Veglia e questi conforta e quei provvede
E tutti ascolta e porge a tutti aita
E se niega talor grazia a mercede
O niega fol perchè a pregar ne invita
O negar singe e nel negar concede
See a fond mother incircled by her children With pious tenderness she looks around and her soul even melts with maternal Love One she kisses on the forehead and clasps another to her bosom One she sets upon her knees and finds a seat upon her foot for another And while by their actions their lisping words and asking eyes she understands their various numberless little wishes to these she dispenses a look a word to those and whether she smiles or frowns tis all in tender Love
Such to us tho infinitely high and awful is PROVIDENCE So it watches over us comforting these providing for those listening to all assisting
every one And if sometimes it denies the favour we implore it denies but to invite our more earnest prayers or seeming to deny a blessing grants one in that refusal
When the translation was read aloud the tears that before were starting trickled down the sweet girls cheeks But the commendations every one joined in and especially the praises given her by her guardian drove away every cloud from her face
Friday March 17
My dear Charlotte
I HAVE already seen Captain Anderson Richard Saunder whom I sent with your Letter▪ as soon as I came to town found him at his lodgings near Whitehall He expressed himself on re•ding it before the servant with indiferent warmth I would not make minute enquiries after his words because I intended an amicable meeting with him
We met at four yesterday afternoon at the Cocoatree in Pallmall Lieut Col Mackenzie and Major Dillon two of his frienda with whom I had no acquaintance were with him Ths Captain and I withdrew to a private room The two gentlemen enterd it with us
You will on this occasion I know expect me to be particular Yet must allow that I had no good cause to manage since those points that had most weight and which were the ground of your objections to him when you saw him in a near light could not be pleaded without affronting him and if they were would hardly meet with his allowance and could therefore have no force in the argument
On the two gentlemen entering the room with us without apology or objection I askd the Captain If they were acquainted with the affair we met upon He said They were his dear and inseparable friends and knew every secret of his heart Perhaps in this case Captain Anderson returned I it were as well they did not
We are men of honour Sir Charles Grandison said the Major briskly
I dont doubt it Sir But where the delicacy of a Lady is concernd the hearts of the principals should be the whole world to each other But what is done is done I am ready to enter upon the affair before these gentlemen if you choose it Captain
You will find us to be gentlemen Sir Charles said the Colonel
The Captain then began with warmth his own story Indeed he told it very well I was pleased for my sisters sake pardon me Charlotte that he did He is not contemptible either in person or understanding He may be said perhaps to be an illiterate but he is not an ignorant man tho not the person whom the friends of Charlotte Grandison would think worthy of the first place in her heart
After he had told his story which I need not repeat to you he insisted upon your promise And his two friends declared in his favour with airs each man a little too peremptory I told them so and that they must do me the justice to consider me as a man of some spirit as well as themselves I came hither with a friendly intention gentlemen said I I do not love to follow the lead of hasty spirits But if you expect to carry any point with me it must not be either by raised voices or heightened complexions
Their features were all at once changed And they said they meant not to be warm
I told the Captain That I would not enter into a minute defence of the Lady tho my sister I owned
that there had appeared a precipitation in her conduct Her treatment at home as she aprehended was not answerable to her merits She was young and knew nothing of the world Young Ladies were often struck by appearances You Captain Anderson said I have advantages in person and manner that might obtain for you a young Ladys attention And as she believed herself circumstanced in her family I wonder not that she lent an air to the address of a gallant man whose command in that neighbourhood and I doubt not whose behaviour in that command added to his consequence But I take it for granted Sir that you met with difficulties from her when she came to reflect upon the disreputation of a young womans carrying on clandestinely a correspondence with a man of whose address her father then living was not likely to approve There was none of that violent passion on either side that precludes reason discretion duty It is no wonder then that a woman of Charlotte Grandisons known good sense should reflect should consider And perhaps the less that you should therefore seek to engage her by promise But what was the promise It was not the promise that it seems you sought to engage her to make To be absolutely yours and no other mans But it was That she would not marry any other man without your consent while you remained single An unreasonable promise however I will presume to say either to be proposed or submitted to
Sir said the Captain and looked the Soldier
I repeated what I last said
Sir again said the Captain and looked upon his friends who pointed each his head at the other and at him by turns—as if they had said Very free language
For Sir proceeded I did it not give room to think that you had either some doubts of your own merit with the Lady or of her affection and steadiness
And in either case ought it to have been proposed ought it to have been made For my part I should disdain to think of any woman for a wife who gave me reason to imagine that she was likely to balance a moment as to her choice of me or any other man
Something in that said the Colonel
As you explain yourself Sir Charles said the Major—
The Captain however sat swelling He was not so easily satisfied
Your motive we are not to question Captain was Love Miss Grandison is a young woman whom any man may love By the way where a man is assured of a return in Love there is no occasion for a promise But a promise was made My sister is a woman of honour She thinks herself bound by it and she is content to lead a single life to the end of it if you will not acquit her of this promise Yet she leaves and at the time did leave you free You will have the justice Sir to allow that there is generosity in her conduct to you which remains for you to shew to her since a promise should not be made but on equal terms Would you hold her to it and be not held yourself She desires not to hold you Let me tell you Captain that if I had been in your situation and had been able to prevail upon myself to endeavour to bring a Lady to make me such a promise I should have doubted her love of me had she not sought to bind me to her by an equal tie What should I have said to myself Is this Lady dearer to me than all the women upon earth Do I seek to bind her to me by a solemn promise which shall give me a power over her And has she so little regard for me as not to value whether I marry any other woman
The Gentlemen looked upon one another; but were silent I proceeded
Le us set this matter in its true light Here is a
young woman who had suffered herself to be embarrassed in a treaty that her whole heart she assures me was never in This was her fault But know we not how inextricable are the entanglements of Love as it is called when young women are brought to enter into correspondence with men Our Sex have opportunities of knowing the world which the other have not Experience gentlemen engaging with inexperience and perhaps to the difference of twice the number of years Sir said the Captain the combat must be too unequal How artfully do men endeavour to draw in the women whom they think it worth their while to pursue—But would any man here wish to marry a woman who declares that she was insensibly drawn in beyond her purpose Who shewed when she refused to promise that she would be his in preference to all other men that she did not love him above all other men Who when she was prevailed on to fetter herself made him not of consequence enough to herself to bind him And in a word who has long ago declared to him and steadily persists in the declaration That she never will be his—You seem gentlemen to be men of spirit Would you wish to marry the first woman on earth on these terms if you could obtain her—which however, is not the case since Miss Grandisons promise extends not so far as to oblige her to marry Captain Anderson
The Captain did not he told me like some part of what I had said and still less some of the words I had used—And seemed to be disposing his features to take a livelier turn than became the occasion I interrupted him therefore I meet you not Captain said I either to hear or to obviate cavils upon words When I have told you that I came with an amicable intention I expect to be believed I intend not offence But let us be men I am perhaps a younger man by ten years than any one present but I have seen the
world as much as any man of my age and know what is due to the character of a Gentleman whether it be captain Andersons or my own And expect not wilful misconstructions
All I mean is Sir said the Captain that I will not be treated contemptuously no not even by the brother of Miss Grandison
The brother of Miss Grandison Sir is not accustomed to treat any man contemptuously Dont treat yourself so and you are safe from unworthy treatment from me Let me add Sir that I permit every man to six his character with me as he pleases I will venture to say I have a large charity but I extend it not to tameness But yet will always allow a third person to decide upon the justice of my intentions and actions
The Captain said That he ascribed a great deal of my sisters positiveness in her denial of him those were his words to the time of my arrival in England and he doubted not that I had encouraged the proposals either of Sir Walter Watkyns or of Lord G because of their quality and fortunes And hence his difficulties were encreased
And then up he rose slapt one hand upon the table put the other on his sword and was going to say some very fierce things prefacing them with damning his blood when I stood up Hold Captain be calm if possible—Hear from me the naked truth I willmake you a fair representation and when I have done do you resume if you think it necessary that angry air you got up with and see what youll make of it
His friends interposed He sat down half out of breath with anger His swelled features went down by degrees
The truth of the matter is strictly and briefly this
All my sisters difficulties which perhaps were greater in apprehension than in fact ended with my
fathers life I made it my business on my arrival as soon as possible to ascertain my sisters fortunes Lord L married▪ the elder The two gentlemen you have mentioned made their addresses to the younger I knew nothing of you Captain Anderson My sister had wholly kept the affair between you and her in her own breast She had not revealed it even to her sister The reason she gives and to which you Sir could be no stranger was That she was determined never to be yours The subject requires explicitness Captain Anderson And I am not accustomed to palliate whenever it does She hoped to prevail upon you to leave her as generously free as she had left you I do assure you upon my honour that she favours not either of the gentlemen I know not the man she does favour It is I her brother not herself that am solicitous for her marrying And upon the indifference she expressed to change her condition on terms to which no objection could be made I supposed she must have a secret preference to some other man I was afterwards informed that letters had passed between her and you by a Lady who had it from a Gentleman of your acquaintance You have shewn me Sir by the presence of these Gentlemen that you were not so careful of the secret as my sister had been
I charged my sister upon this discovery with reserve to me But offered her my service in her own way assuring her that if her heart were engaged the want of quality title and fortune should not be of weight with me and that whomsoever she accepted for her husband him would I receive for my brother
The colonel and the Major extravagantly applauded a behaviour on this occasion which deserved no more than a common approbation▪
She solemnly assured me proceeded I that altho she held herself bound by the promise which youth
inexperience and solicitation had drawn her in to make she resolved to perform it by a perpetual single life if it were insisted upon And thus Sir you see that it depends upon you to keep Charlotte Grandison a single woman till you marry some other Lady A power let me tell you that no man ought to seek to obtain over any young woman or generously to acquit her of it and leave her as free as she has left you—And now gentlemen to the Major and Colonel if you come hither not so much parties as judges I leave this matter upon your consideration and will withdraw for a few moments
I left every mouth ready to burst into words and walked into the public room There I met with Colonel Martin whom I had seen abroad and who had just asked after Major Dillon He to my great surprize took notice to me of the business that brought me thither
You see my sister the consequences you were of to Captain Anderson He had not been able to forbear boasting of the honour which a daughter of Sir Thomas Grandison had done him and of his enlarged prospects by her interest Dear Charlotte—How unhappy was the man that your pride should make you think yourself concernd to keep secret an affair that he thought a glory to him to make known to many For we see shall I not say to the advantage of this gentlemans character that he has many dear and inseparable friends from whom he concealed not any secret of his heart
Colonel Mackenzie came out soon after and we withdrew to the corner of the room He talked a great deal of the strength of the captains passion of the hopes he had conceived of making his fortune thro the interest of a family to which he imputed consideration He made me a great many compliments He talkd of the great detriment this longsuspended affair had been to his friend and told me
with a grave countenance that the Captain was grown as many years older as it had been in hand and was ready to rate very highly so much time lost in the prime of life In short he ascribed to the Captain the views and the disappointments of a military fortunehunter too plainly for his honour in my eye had I been disposed to take proper notice of the meaning of what he said
After having heard him out I desired the Colonel to let me know what all this meant and what were the Captains expectations
He paraded on again a long time and asked me at last If there were no hopes that the Lady—
None at all interrupted I She ha steadily declared as much Charlotte Grandison is a woman of fine sense She had great qualities She has insuperable objections to the Captain which are founded on a more perfect knowledge of the man and of her own heart than she could have at first It is not my intention to depreciate him with his friend I shall not therefore enter into particulars Let me know Colonel what the gentleman pretends to He is passionate I see I am not a tame man But God forbid that Captain Anderson who hoped to be benefited by an alliance with the daughter of Sir Thomas Grandison should receive hurt or hard treatment from her brother
Here Colonel Martin who had heard something of what was said desired to speak with Colonel Mackenzie They were not so distant but my ear unavoidably caught part of their subject Colonel Martin expatiated in a very high manner on my character when I was abroad He imputed bravery to me a great article among military men and with you Ladies and I know not how many good qualities—And Colonel Mackenzie took him in with him to the other two gentlemen Where I suppose everything that had passed was repeated
After a while I was desired by Colonel Martin in the name of the gentlemen to walk in he himself sitting down in the public room
They received me with respect I was obliged to hear and say a great many things that I had said and heard before But at last two proposals were made me either of which they said if complied with would be taken as laying the Captain under very high obligation
Poor man I had compassion for him and closed with one of them declining the other for a reason which I did not give to them To say truth Charlotte I did not choose to promise my interest in behalf of a man of whose merit I was not assured had I been able to challenge any as perhaps I might by Lord Ws means who stands well with proper persons A man ought to think himself in some measure accountable for warm recommendations especially where the public is concerned And could I give my promise and be cool as to the performance And I should think myself also answerable to a worthy man and to every one connected with him if I were a means of lifting one less worthy over his head I chose therefore to do that service to him for which I am responsible only to myself After I have said this my sister must ask me no questions
I gave a rough draught at the Captains request of the manner in which I would have releases drawn Colonel Martin was desired to walk in And all the gentlemen promised to bury in silence and all that had ever come to their knowlege of what had passed between Charlotte Grandison and Captain Anderson
Let not the mentioning to you these measures hurt you my sister Many young Ladies of sense and family have been drawn into still greater inconveniencies than you have suffered Persons of eminent abilities I have a very high opinion of my Charlottes seldom err in small points Most young women who
begin a correspondence with our designing Sex think they can stop when they will But it is not so We and the dark spirit that sets us at work which we sometimes miscall Love will not permit you to do so Men and Women are Devils to one another. They need no other tempter
All will be completed to morrow and your written promise of consequence given up I congratulate my sister on the happy conclusion of this affair You are now your own mistress and free to choose for yourself I should never forgive myself were I who have been the means of freeing you from one controul to endeavour to lay you under another Think not either of Sir Walter or of Lord G if your heart declare not in favour of either You have sometimes thought me carnest in behalf of Lord G But I have never spoken in his favour but when you have put me upon answering objections to him which I have thought insufficient And indeed Charlotte some of your objections have been so slight that I was ready to believe you put them for the pleasure of having them answered
My Charlotte need not doubt of admirers where—ever she sets her foot And I repeat that whoever be the man she inclines to favour she may depend upon the approbation and good offices of
Her everaffectionate brother CHARLES GRANDISON
Friday Mar 17
I SEND you inclosed to be returned by the first opportunity Sir Charless Letter to his sister acquainting her with the happy conclusion of the affair between Captain Anderson and her Her brother as
you will see▪ acquits her not of precipitation If he did it would have been an impeachment of this justice O the dear Charlotte how her pride is piqued at the meanness of the man But no more of this subject as the Letter is before you
And now my dear and honoured friends let me return you a thousand thanks for the great pacquet of my Letters just sent me with a most indulgent one from my aunt and another from my uncle
I have already put into the two Ladies and my Lords without reserve all the Letters that reach to the masquerade affair from the time of my setting out for London and when they have heard those I have promised them more This confidence has greatly obliged them and they are employed with no small earnestness in perusing them
This gives me an opportunity of pursuing my own devices—And what besides scribling do you think one of them is—A kind of persecution of Dr Bartlett by which however I suspect that I myself am the greatest sufferer He is an excellent man and I make no difficulty of going to him in his closet encouraged by his assurances of welcome
Let me stop to say my Lucy that when I approach this good man in his retirement surrounded by his books his table generally covered with those on pious subjects I in my heart congratulate the saint and inheritor of future glory and in that great view am the more desirous to cultivate his friendship
And what do you think is our subject Sir Charles I suppose you guess—And so it is either in the middle or latter end of the few conversations we have yet had time to hold But I do assure you we begin with the sublimest tho I must say to my shame that it has not so much of my heart at present as once it had and I hope again it will one day have—The great and glorious truths of Christianity are this subject which yet from this good Dr Bartlett
warms my heart as often as he enters into it But this very subject sublime as it is brings on the other as of consequence For Sir Charles Grandison without making an ostentatious pretension to religion is the very Christian in practice that these doctrines teach a man to be Must not then the doctrines introduce the mention of a man who endeavours humbly to imitate the Divine example It was upon good grounds he once said That as he must one day die it was matter of no moment to him whether it were tomorrow or forty years hence
The Ladies had referred me to the Doctor himself for a more satisfactory account than they had given me how Sir Charles and he first came acquainted I told him so and asked his indulgence to me in this enquiry
He took it kindly He had he said the history of it written down His nephew whom he often employs as his amanuensis should make me out from that little history an account of it which I might shew he was pleased to say to such of my select friends as I entrusted with the knowlege of my own heart
I shall impatiently expect the abstract of this little history and the more as the Doctor tells me there will be included some particulars of Sir Charless behaviour abroad in his younger life and of Mr Beauchamp whom the Doctor speaks of with love as his patrons dearest friend and whom he calls a second Sir Charles Grandison
SEE my Lucy the reward of frankness of heart My communicativeness has been already encouraged with the perusal of two Letters from the same excellent man to Doctor Bartlett to whom from early days as I shall be soon more particularly informed he has given an account of all his conduct and movements
The Doctor drew himself in however by reading to Lord L and the Ladies and me a paragraph or two out of one of them And he has even allowed me to give my grandmamma and aunt a sight of them Return them Lucy with the other Letter by the very next post He says he can deny me nothing I wish I may not be too bold with him—As for Miss Grandison she vows that she will not let the good man rest till she gets him to communicate what he shall not absolutely declare to be a secret to as three sisters and my Lord L If the first man she says could not resist one woman how will the Doctor deal with three not one of them behindhand with the first in curiosity And all loving him and whom he prosesses to esteem You see Lucy that Miss Grandison has pretty well got up her spirits again
JUST now Miss Grandison has related to me a conversation that passed between my Lord and Lady L herself and Doctor Bartlett In which the subject was their brother and me The Ladies and my Lord are entirely in my interests and regardful of my punctilio They roundly told the Doctor That being extremely earnest to have their brother marry they knew not the person living whom they wished to call his wife preferably to Miss Byron could they be sure that I was absolutely disengaged Now Doctor said Miss Grandison tell us frankly What is your opinion of our choice for a more than nominal sister
I will make no apologies Lucy for repeating all that was repeated to me of this conversation
Lord L Ay my good Doctor Bartlett let us have your free opinion
Dr B Miss Byron I pronounce upon knowledge for she has more than once since I have been down done me the honour of entering into very free and serious conversations with me is one of the most excellent of women
And then he went on praising me for ingenuousness seriousness chearfulness and for other good qualities which his partiality found out in me And added Would to heaven that she were neither more nor less than Lady Grandison
God bless him thought I—Dont you join my Lucy to say at this place you who love me so dearly God bless you Doctor Bartlett
Lady L Well but Doctor you say that Miss Byron talks freely with you cannot you gather from her whether she is inclined to marriage Whether she is absolutely disengaged Lady D made a proposal to her for Lord D and insisted on an answer to this very question That matter is gone off As our guest we would not have Miss Byron think us impertinent She is very delicate And as she is so amiably frankhearted those things she chooses not to mention of her own accord one would not you know officiously put to her
This was a little too much affected Dont you think so Lucy The Doctor it is evident by his answer did
Dr B It is not likely that such a subject can arise between Miss Byron and me And it is strange methinks that Ladies calling each other sisters should not be absolutely mistresses of this question
Lord L Very right Doctor Bartlett But Ladies will in these points take a compass before they explain themselves A man of Doctor Bartletts penetration and uprightness Ladies should not be treated with distance We are of opinion Doctor that Miss Byron supposing that she is absolutely disengaged could make no difficulty to prefer my brother to all the men in the world What think you
Dr B I have no doubt of it She thinks herself under obligations to him She is goodness itself She must love goodness Sir Charless person his vivacity his address his understanding—What woman would
not prefer him to all the men she ever saw He has met with admirers among the Sex in every nation in which he has set his foot Ah Lucy You Ladies must have seen forgive me bowing to each that Miss Byron has a more than grateful respect for your brother
Miss Gr We think so Doctor and wanted to know if you did And so as my Lord says fetched a little compass about which we should not have done to you But you say That my brother has had numbers of admirers—Pray Doctor is there any one Lady We imagine there is that he has preferred to another in the different nations he has travelled through
Lord L Ay Doctor we want to know this and if you thought there were not we should make no scruple to explain ourselves as well to Miss Byron as to my brother
Dont you long to know what answer the Doctor returned to this Lucy I was out of breath with impatience when Miss Grandison repeated it to me
The Doctor hesitated—And at last said I wish with all my heart Miss Byron could be Lady Grandison
Miss Gr COUD be—Could be said each
And COULD be said the fool to Miss Grandison when she repeated it her heart quite sunk
Dr B smiling You hinted Ladies that you are not sure that Miss Byron is absolutely disengaged But to be open and aboveboard I have reason to believe that your brother would be concerned if he knew it that you should think of putting such a question as this to anybody but himself Why dont you He once complained to me that he was afraid his sisters looked upon him as a reserved man and condescended to call upon me to put him right if I thought his appearance such as would give you grounds for the surmise There are two or three
affairs of intricacy that he engaged in and particularly one that hangs in suspence and he would not be fond I believe of mentioning it till he can do it with certainty But else Ladies there is not a more frankhearted man in the world than your brother
See Lucy how cautious we ought to be in passing judgment on the actions of others especially on those of good men when we want to fasten blame upon them perhaps with a low view envying their superior worth to bring them down to our own level—For are we not all apt to measure the merits of others by our own standard to give praise or dispraise to actions or sentiments as they square with their own
Lord L Perhaps Doctor Bartlett you dont think yourself at liberty to answer whether these particular affairs are of such a nature as will interfere with the hopes we have of bringing to effect a marriage between my brother and Miss Byron
Dr B I had rather refer to Sir Charles himself on this subject If any man in the world deserves from prudence and integrity of heart to be happy in this life that man is Sir Charles Grandison But he is not quite happy
Ah Lucy—The Doctor proceeded Your brother Ladies has often said to me That there was hardly a man living who had a more sincere value for the Sex than he had who had been more distinguished by the favour of worthy women yet who had paid dearer for that distinction than he had done
Lady L Paid dearer Good Heaven
Miss Gr How could that be
Lord L I always abroad heard the Ladies reckon upon Sir Charles as their own man His vivacity his personal accomplishments his politeness his generosity his bravery—Every woman who spoke of him put him down for a man of gallantry And is he not a truly gallant man—I never mentioned it
before—But a Lady Olivia of Florence was much talked of when I was in that city as being in love with the handsome Englishman as our brother was commonly called there—
Lady Olivia Lady Olivia repeated each sister and why did not your Lordship—
Why Because tho she was in love with him he had no thoughts of her And as the Doctor says she is but one of those who admired him whereever he set his foot
Bless me thought I what a black swan is a good man—Why as I have often thought to the credit of our Sex will not all the men be good
Lady L My Lord you must tell us more of this Lady Olivia
Lord L I know very little more of her She was reputed to be a woman of high quality and fortune and great spirit I once saw her She is a fine figure of a woman Dr Bartlett can no doubt give you an account of her
Miss Gr Ah Doctor What an history could you give us of our brother if you pleased—But as there is no likelihood that this Lady will be anything to my brother let us return to our first subject
Lady L By all means Pray Dr Bartlett do you know what my brothers opinion is of Miss Byron
Dr B The highest that man can have of woman
Lady L As we are so very desirous to see my brother happily married and think he never could have a woman so likely to make him happy would you advise us to propose the alliance to him We would not to her unless we thought there were room to hope for his approbation and that in a very high degree
Dr B I am under some concern my dear Ladies to be thought to know more of your brothers heart than sisters do whom he loves so dearly and who equally love him I beseech you give me not so
much more consequence with him than you imagine you have yourselves I shall be afraid if you do that the favour I wish to stand in with you is owing more to your brothers distinction of me than to your own hearts
Lord L I see not why we may not talk to my brother directly on this head Whence is it that we are all three insensibly drawn in by each others example to this distance between him and us—It is not his fault Did we ever ask him a question that he did not directly answer and that without shewing the least affectation or reserve
Miss Gr He came over to us all at once so perfect after an eight or nine years absence with so much power and such a will to do us good that we were awed into a kind of reverence for him
Lady L Too great obligations from one side will indeed create distance on the other Grateful hearts will always retain a sense of favours heaped upon them
Dr B You would give pain to his noble heart did he think that you put such a value upon what he has done I do assure you▪ that he thinks he has hardly performed his duty by his sisters And as occasions may still offer you will find he thinks so But let me beg of you to treat him without reserve or diffidence and that you would put to him all those questions which you would wish to be answered You will find him I dare say very candid and very explicit
Miss Gr That shall be my task when I next see him But dear Doctor Bartlett if you love us communicate to us all that is proper for us to see of the correspondence that passes between him and you
The Doctor it seems bowed but answered not
So you see Lucy upon the whole that I have no great reason to build so much as my uncle in his last Letter imagines I do on the interest of these Ladies and my Lord L with their brother Two or three
intricate affairs on his hands One of them still in suspense of which for that reason he makes a secret He is not quite happy Greatly distinguished by the favour of worthy women Who would wonder at that—But has paid dear for the distinction!—What can one say What can one think He once said himself That his life was a various life and that some unhappy things had befallen him If the prudence of such a man could not shield him from misfortune who can be exempted from it—And from worthy women too—Thats the wonder—But is this Olivia one of the worthy women—I fancy he must despise us all I fancy he will never think of incumbering himself with one of a Sex that has made him pay so dear for the general distinction he has met with from it As to his politeness to us a man may afford to shew politeness to those he has resolved to keep at distance
But ah Lucy—There must be one happy woman whom he wishes not to keep at distance This is the affair that hangs in suspence and of which therefore he chooses to say nothing
I HAVE had the pleasure of a visit from my godfather Deane He dined with us this day in his way to town The Ladies Doctor Bartlett and my Lord L are charmed with him Yet I had pain mingled with my pleasure He took me aside and charged me so home—He was too inquisitive I never knew him to be so very urgent to know my heart But I was frank Very frank I should hardly have been excuseable if I had not to so good a man and so dear a friend Yet he scarce knew how to be satisfied with my frankness
He will have it that I look thinner and paler than I used to do That may very well be My very soul at times—I know not how I am—Sir Charles is in suspense too from somebody abroad From my heart I
pity him Had he but some faults some great blemishes I fancy I should be easier about him But to hear nothing of him but what is so greatly praiseworthy and my heart so delighted with acts of beneficence—And now my godfather Deane at this visit running on in his praises and commending instead of blaming me for my presumptuous thoughts nay exalting me and telling me That I deserve him—that I deserve Sir Charles Grandison—Why did he not chide me Why did he not dissuade me—Neither fortune nor merit answerable—A man who knows so well what to do with fortune—The Indies my dear ought to be his What a king would he make Power could not corrupt such a mind as his Caesar said Dr Bartlett speaking of him before Mr Deane and all of us was not quicker to destroy than Sir Charles Grandison is to relieve Emilys eye at the time ran over with joy at the expression and drying them she looked proudly round on us all as if she had said This is my guardian
But what do you think Lucy My godfather will have it that he sees a young passion in Miss Jervois for her guardian—God forbid—A young Love may be conquered I believe but who shall caution the innocent girl She must have a sweet pleasure in it creeping stealing upon her How can so unexperienced an heart the object so meritorious resist or reject the indulgence But O my Emily sweet girl do not let your Love get the better of your gratitude lest it make you unhappy and what would be still more affecting to a worthy heart make the generous object of a passion that cannot be gratified unhappy and for that very reason because he cannot reward it See you not already that with all his goodness he is not quite happy He is a sufferer from worthy women—O my Emily do not you add to the infelicity of a man who can make but one
woman happy yet wishes to befriend all the world—But hush selfish adviser Should not Harriet Byron have thought of this in time—Yet she knew not that he had any preivous engagements And may death lay his cold hand upon her heart before she become an additional disturbance to his He knows not I hope he guesses not tho Dr Bartlett has found me out as well as the sisters that I am captivated heart and soul by his merits May he never know it if the knowledge of it would give him the shadow of uneasiness
I owned to Mr Deane that my Lord L and the Ladies were warmly interested in my favour Thank God for that he said All must happen to his wish Nay he would have it that Sir Charless goodness would be rewarded in having such a wife But what wife can do more than her duty to any husband who is not absolutely a savage How then can all I could do reward such a man as this
But Lucy dont you blush for me on reading this last page of my writing You may since I blush myself on reperusing it For shame Harriet Byron put a period to this Letter—I will nor subscribe to it so much as the initials of my name
Friday Mar 17
LAST night I saw interred the remains of my worthy friend Dr Danby I had caused his two nephews and his niece to be invited But they did not attend
As the will was not to be opened till the funeral
was over about which the good man had given me verbal directions apprehending I believe expostulations from me had I known the contents I sent to them this morning to be present at the opening
Their Attorney Mr Sylvester a man of character and good behaviour brought me a Letter signed by all three excusing themselves on very slight pretences and desiring that he might be present for them I took notice to him that the behaviour of his principals overnight and now was neither respectful to the memory of their uncle nor civil with regard to me He honestly owned that Mr Danby having acquainted his two nephews a little before he died that he had made his will and that they had very little to expect from him they who had been educated by his direction and made merchants at his expence with hopes given them that he would at his death do very handsomely for them and had never disobliged him could not be present at the opening of a will the contents of which they expected to be so mortifying to them
I opened it in presence of this gentleman The preamble was an angry one giving reasons for his resentment against the father of these young persons who tho his brother had once as I hinted to you at Colnebrooke made a very shocking attempt upon his life I was hurt however to find a resentment carried so far as against the innocent children of the offender and into the last will of so good a man that will so lately made as within three weeks of his death and he given over for three months before
Will the tenderness due to the memory of a friend permit me to ask where would that resentment have stopt had the private man been a monarch which he could carry into his last will
But see we not on the other hand that these
children had they power would have punished their uncle for disposing as he thought fit of his own fortune no part of which came to him by inheritance
They had been educated as I have said at his expence and in the phrase of business well put out Expences their careless father would not have been at He is in every light a bad man How much better had these childrens title been to a more considerable part of their uncles estate than he has bequeathed to them had they been thankful for the benefits they had actually received Benefits which are of such a nature that they cannot be taken from them
Mr Danby has bequeathed to each of the three one thousand pounds but on express condition that they signify to his executor within two months after his demise their acceptance of it in full of all demands upon his estate If they do not tender being duly made the three thousand pounds are to be carried to the uses of the will
He then appoints his executor and makes him residuary legatee giving for reason that he had been the principal instrument in the hand of Providence of saving his life
He bequeaths some generous remembrances to three of his friends in France and requests his executor to dispose of three thousand pounds to charitable uses either in France or England as he thinks fit and to what particular objects he pleases
And by an inventory annexed to the will his effects in money bills actions and jewels are made to amount to upwards of thirty thousand pounds sterling
Mr Sylvester complimented me on this great windfall as he called it and assured me that it should be his advice to his clients that each take his and
her legacy and sit down contented with it And he believed that they the rather would as from what their uncle had hinted they apprehended that the sum of an hundred pounds each was all they had to hope for
I enquired into the inclinations and views of the three and received a very good general account of them with an hint that the girl was engaged in a Loveaffair
Their father after his vile attempt upon his brothers life was detested by all his friends and relations and went abroad and the last news they heard of him was that he was in a very ill state of health and in unhappy circumstances in Barbadoes And very probably by this time is no more
I desired Mr Sylvester to advise the young people to recollect themselves and said That I had a disposition to be kind to them And as he could give me only general accounts of their views prospects and engagements I wishd they would with marks of confidence in me give me particular ones But that whether they complimented me as I wished or not I was determined for the sake of their uncles memory to do all reasonable services to them Tell them in a word Mr Sylvester and do you forgive the seeming vanity That I am not accustomed to suffer the narrowness of other peoples hearts to contract mine
The man went away very much pleased with what I had said and in about two hours sent me a note in the names of all his clients expressing gratitude and obligation and requesting me to allow him to introduce them all three to me this afternoon
I have some necessary things to do and persons to see in relation to my deceased friend which will be dispatched over a dish of tea And therefore I have invited the honest attorney and his three clients to sup with me
I will not send this to Colnebrooke where I hope you are all happy All must for are they not all good And are not you with them till I accompany it with the result of this evenings conversation Yet I am too fond of every occasion that offers to tell you what however you cannot doubt how much I am yours not to sign to that truth the name of
CHARLES GRANDISON
Friday night March 17
MR Sylvester an honest pleasure shining in his countenance presented to me first Miss Danby then each of her brothers who all received my welcome with a little consciousness, as if they had something to reproach themselves with and were generously ashamed to be overcome The sister had the least of it And I saw by that that she was the least blameable not the least modest since I dare say she had but followed her brothers lead while they looked down and bashful as having all that was done amiss to answer for
Miss Danby is a very pretty and very genteel young woman Mr Thomas and Mr Edward Danby are agreeable in their persons and manners and want not sense
In the first moment I dissipated all their uneasiness and we sat down together with confidence in each other The honest attorney had prepared them to be easy after the first introduction
I offer not to read to you said I the will of your uncle It is sufficient to repeat what Mr Sylvester has no doubt told you That you are each of you entitled by it to a thousand pounds
They all bowed and the elder brother signified their united consent to accept it upon the terms of the will
Three thousand pounds more are to be disposed of to charitable uses at the discretion of the executor Three other legacies are left to three different gentlemen in France And the large remainder which will not be less than fourandtwenty thousand pounds falls to the executor as residuary legatee equally unexpected and undesired
The elder brother said God bless you with it Sir The second said It could not have fallen to a worthier man The young Ladys lips moved But words proceeded not from them Yet her eyes shewed that her lips made me a compliment
It is ungenerous Dr Bartlett to keep expecting minds in suspence tho with a view of obliging in the end The surprize intended to be raised on such an occasion carries in its appearance an air of insult I have said I a great desire to do you service Now let me know gentlemen I will talk to the young Lady singly perhaps what your expectations were upon your uncle what will do for each of you to enable you to enter the world with advantage in the way you have been brought up and as I told your worthy friend Mr Sylvester I will be ready to do you all reasonable service—But hold Sir for Mr Thomas Danby was going to speak you shall consider before you answer me The matter is of importance Be explicit I love openness and sincerity I will withdraw till you have consulted together Command me in when you have determined
I withdrew to my study And in about a quarter of an hour they let me know that they were ready to attend me I went in to them They looked upon one another. Come gentlemen dont fear to speak Consider me for your uncles sake as your brother
The elder brother was going to speak but hesitating Come said I let me lead you into the matter—Pray Sir what is your present situation What are your present circumstances
My father Sir was unhappy—My father—
Well Sir no more of your father—He could do nothing for you Your whole dependence I presume was upon your uncle
My uncle Sir gave us all our education—My uncle gave each brother a thousand guineas for putting out each to a merchant five hundred only of which sums were so employed and the other five hundred guineas are in safe hands
Your uncle Sir all reverence to his memory was an excellent man
Indeed Sir he was
And what Sir is the business you were brought up to
My master is a WestIndia merchant
And what Mr Danby are your prospects in that way
Exceeding hopeful Sir they would have been—My master intended to propose to my uncle had he lived to come to town to take me in a quarterpartner with him directly and in a twelvemonths time an halfpartner
A very good sign in your favour Sir You must have behaved yourself well And will he now do it
Ah Sir—And was silent
Upon what terms Mr Danby would he have proposed to your uncle to take you in a quarterpartner
Sir—he talked of—
Of what
Four thousand pounds Sir But my uncle never gave us hopes of more than three thousand guineas each besides the thousand he had given And when he had so much reason to resent the unhappy steps of
my father he let us know that he would not do mything for us And to say truth the thousand pounds left us in the will is more than we expected
Very ingenuous I love you for your sincerity But pray tell me Will four thousand pounds be well laid out in a quarterpartnership
To say truth Sir my master had a view at the years end if nothing unexpected happened to prevent it to give me his niece in marriage and then to admit me into a half of the business which would be equivalent to a fortune of as much more
And do you love the young woman
Indeed I do
And does she countenance your address
If her uncle—I dont doubt if her uncle could have prevailed upon my uncle—
Well Sir I am your uncles executor Now Sir to Mr Edward Danby let me know your Situation your prospects
Sir I was put to a French winemerchant My master is in years I am the sole manager of his business and he would leave off to me I believe and to his nephew who knows not so much of it as I do nor has the acquaintance either in France or England that I have could I raise money to purchase half the stock
And what Sir is necessary for that purpose
O Sir at least six thousand pounds But had my uncle left me the three thousand we once hoped for I could have got the other half at an easy interest for I am well beloved and have always borne a good character
What did you suppose your uncle would do with the bulk of his fortune you judged it I suppose to be large if you expected no more than three thousand guineas each at the most besides what he had given you
We all thought Sir said Mr Edward Danby it
would be yours from the time that he owed his life to your courage and conduct We never entertained hopes of being his heirs general And he several times told me when I was in France that you should be his heir
He never hinted that to me What I did was as necessary to be done for my own Safety as for his He much overrated my services But what are your prospects Mr Edward Danby in the French winetrade
O Sir very great
And will your master leave off to you and his nephew think you
I dare say he would and be glad of retiring to Enfield where he has a house he is so fond of that he would be continually there by his goodwill
And have you Sir any prospect of adding to your circumstances by marriage
Women are a drug Sir I have no doubt of offers if once I were my own master
I started His sister looked angry His brother was not pleased Mr Sylvester who it seems is an old bachelor laughed—
A true merchant this already thought I
Well now shall I have your consents gentlemen to take your sister aside—Will you trust yourself with me Miss Danby Or had you rather answer my question in company
Sir your character your goodness is so well known I scruple not to attend you
I took her hand and led her to my study leaving the door open to the drawingroom in which they were I seated her Then sat down but still held her hand
Now my dear Miss Danby you are to suppose me as the executor of your uncle his representative If you had that good uncle before you and he was urging you to tell him what would make you happy with
an assurance that he would do all in his power towards it and if you would open your mind freely to him with equal freedom open it to me There was only this difference between us He had resentments against your father which he carried too far when he extended them to his innocent children But it was an atrocious attempt that embitterd his otherwise benevolent spirit I have no resentment and am armed with his power and have all the will he ever could have to serve you Aud now let me know what will effectually do it
The worthy girl wept She looked down She seemed as if she were pulling threads out of her handkerchief But was unable to return any other answer than what her eyes once cast up as if to Heaven made for her
Give me my good Miss Danby I would not distress you give me as your brothers did of their Situation some account of yours Do you live with either of your brothers
No Sir I live with an aunt My mothers sister
Is she good to you
Yes Sir very good But she has children and cannot be so good as she would be to me Yet she has always been kind and has made the best of my uncles allowance for my education And my fortune which is unbroken is the same sum that he gave my brothers And it is in good hands And the interest of it with my aunts additional goodness and management enables me to make a genteel figure And with my own housewifry I never have wanted some little matters for my pocket
Good girl thought I—Mercantile carle thy brother Edward pretty one How dared he to say that women are drugs—Who in their oeconomy short as their power is are generally superior to men
Your uncle was very good to put you upon a foot with your brothers in his bounty to them as now he
has also done in his will And assure yourself that his representative will be equally kind to you as to your brothers But shall I ask you as your uncle would have done—Is there any one man in the world whom you prefer to another
She was silent looked down and again picked her handkerchief
I called in her elder brother not the drugmerchant and asked him What he knew of his sisters affections
Why my good Dr Bartlett are these women ashamed of owning a laudable passion Surely there is nothing shameful in discreet Love
Her brother acquainted me with the story of her Love the good girl blushing and looking down all the while with the consciousness of a sweet thief who had stolen a heart and being required to restore it had been guilty of a new cheat and given her own instead of it
The son of Mr Galliard an eminent Turkey merchant is the man with whom she has made this exchange His father who lives in the neighbourhood of her aunt had sent him abroad in the way of his traffick partly with a view to prevent his marrying Miss Danby till it should be seen whether her uncle would do any-thing considerable for her And he was but just returned and in order to be allowed to stay at home had promised his father never to marry without his consent But nevertheless loved his sister Mr Danby said above all women and declared that he never would be the husband of any other
I asked whether the father had any objections but those of fortune to his sons choice and was answered No He could have no other the young man like a brother said There was not a more virtuous and discreet young woman in the kingdom than his sister tho he said it that should not say it
Tho you say it that should say it Is not our
relation intitled to the same justice that we would do to another
We must not blame indiscriminately continued I all fathers who expect a fortune to be brought into their family in some measure equivalent to the benefit the newcomer hopes to receive from it especially in mercantile families if the young man is to be admitted into a share with his father who by the way may have other children—
He has—
Something by way of equivalent for the part he gives up should be done Love is a selfish Deity He puts two persons upon preferring their own interests nay a gratification of their passion often against their interests to those of everybody else and reason discretion duty are frequently given up in a competition with it But Love nevertheless will not do everything for the ardent pair Parents know this And ought not to pay for the rashness they wish to prevent but cannot
They were attentive I proceeded addressing myself to both in the mercantile style
Is a father who by his prudence has weathered many a storm and got safe into port obliged to reembark in the voyage of Life with the young folks who perhaps in a little while will consider him as an incumbrance and grudge him his cabin Parents tho a young man I have always thought in this manner should be indulgent but children when they put themselves into one scale should allow the parent his due weight in the other You are angry at this father are you not my dear Miss Danby
I said this to hear what answer she would return
Indeed I am not Mr Galliard knows best his own affairs and what they require I have said so twenty and twenty times And young Mr Galliard is convinced that his father is not to be blamed having other children And to own the truth looking
on the floor we both sit down and wish together nowandthen But what signifies wishing
My sister will now have two thousand pounds Perhaps when old Mr Galliard sees that his sons affections—
Old Mr Galliard interrupted I shall be asked to do nothing inconvenient to himself or that is not strictly right by his other children Nor shall the niece of my late worthy friend enter into his family with discredit to herself
Notice being given that supper was ready I took the brother and sister each by the hand and entering the drawingroom with them Enjoy said I the little repast that will be set before you If it be in my power to make you all three happy happy you shall be
It must give great pleasure my dear Dr Bartlett you will believe to a man of my lively sensations to see three very different faces in the same persons from those they had entered with I imagined more than once as the grateful eyes of the sister and tongues of the brothers expressed their joy that I saw my late worthy friend looking down upon us delighted and not with disapprobation upon his choice of an executor who was determined to supply the defects which the frailty of human nature by an everstrong resentment on one hand and an overflowing gratitude on the other had occasioned
I told Mr Thomas Danby that besides his legacy he might reckon upon five thousand pounds and enter accordingly into treaty for and with his masters niece
Mr Edward Danby I commissioned on the strength of the like additional sum to treat with the gentleman he had served
And you my good Miss Danby said I shall acquaint your favoured Mr Galliard That besides the two thousand pounds already yours you will have five
thousand pounds more at his service And if these sums answer not your full purposes I expect you will let me know since whether they do or not my respect to the memory of your worthy uncle shall be shewn to the value of more than these three sums to his relations I never will be a richer man than I ought to be And you must inform me what other relations you have and of their different situations in life that I may be enabled to amend a will made in a long and painful sickness which might four a disposition that was naturally all benevolence
They wept looked at one another; dried their eyes and wept again Mr Sylvester also wept for joy I thought my presence painful to them and withdrew to my Study and shut the door that I might not add to their pain
At my return—Do you—Do you referred each brother to the other And Mr Thomas Danby getting up to speak I see my friends said I your grateful hearts in your countenances Do you think my pleasure is not at least equal to yours I am more than rewarded in the consciousness of having endeavoured to make a right use of the power entrusted to me You will each of you I hope thus set forward be eminent in his particular business The merchants of Great Britain are the most useful members of the community If I have obliged you let me recommend to you each in his several way according to his ability and as opportunity may offer to raise those worthy hearts that inevitable calamities shall make spiritless Look upon what is done for you not as the reward of any particular merits in yourselves but as your debt to that Providence which makes it a principal part of your religion To do good to your fellowcreatures In a word let me enjoin you in all your transactions to remember mercy as well as justice
The brothers with folded hands declared that
their hearts were opened by the example set them and they hoped would never be shut The sister looked the same declaration
Mr Sylvester raised with this scene of gratitude tears in his honest eyes said That he should be impatient till he had looked into his affairs and thro his acquaintance in order to qualify himself to do some little good after such a self-rewarding example
If a private man my dear Dr Bartlett could be a means of expanding thus the hearts of four persons none of them unworthy what good might not princes and those who have princely fortunes do—Yet you see I have done nothing but mere justice I have not given up any-thing that was my own before this Will gave me a power that perhaps was put into my hands as a new trial of the integrity of my heart
But what poor creatures are we my dear friend that the very avoiding the occasion of a wrong action should gladden our hearts as with the consciousness of something meritorious
At parting I told the nephews That I expected to hear from them the moment any-thing should be brought to effect and let their masters and them agree or not I would take the speediest methods that could be fallen upon to transfer to them and to their sister such actions and stocks as would put them in full possession of what they were intitled to as well by my promise as by their uncles will
I was obliged to injoin them silence
Their sister wept and when I pressed her hand at taking leave of her gratefully returned the pressure but in a manner so modest recollecting herself into some little confusion that shewed gratitude had possession of her whole heart and set her above the forms of her sex
The good attorney as much raised as if he were one of the persons benefited joined with the two brothers in invoking blessings upon me
So much my dear Dr Bartlett for this night The past day is a day that I am not displeased with
March 18
I Present to you madam the account you desired to see as extracted by my kinsman from my papers You seemed to wish it to be hastened for you It is not what it might have been but more facts I presume will answer your intention Be pleased therefore to accept it with your usual goodness
DR Bartlett went abroad as governor of a young man of quality Mr Lorimer I am to call him to conceal his real name He was the very reverse of young Mr Grandison He was not only rude and ungovernable but proud illnatured malicious even base
The Doctor was exceedingly averse to take upon him the charge of the wicked youth abroad having had too many instances of the badness of his nature while in England But he was prevailed upon by the solicitations of his father who represented it as an act of the greatest charity to him and his family as well as by the solemn promises of good behaviour from the young man for he was known to regard the advice of Dr Bartlett more than that of any other person
The Doctor and Mr Lorimer were at Turin when young Mr Grandison who had been some months in France for the first time arrived in that city then in the eighteenth year of his age
Dr Bartlett had not a more profligate pupil than Mr Grandison had a governor tho recommended by General W his uncle by the mothers side It
used to be observed in places where they made but a few days residence that the young gentleman ought to have been the governor Monsieur Creutzer the governed Mr Grandison had in short the happiness by his prudence to escape several snares laid for his virtue by a wretch who hoped if he could betray him into them to silence the remonstrances of the young man upon his evil conduct and to hinder him from complaining of him to his father
Mr Grandison became acquainted with Dr Bartlett at Turin Monsieur Creutzer at the same time commenced an intimacy with Mr Lorimer and the two former were not more united from good qualities than the two latter were from bad
Several riotous things were done by Creutzer and Lorimer who whatever the Doctor could do to separate them were hardly ever asunder One of their enormities fell under the cognizance of the civil magistrate and was not made easy to Lorimer without great interest and expence While Creutzer fled to Rome to avoid condign punishment and wrote to Mr Grandison to join him there
Then it was that Mr Grandison wrote as he had often ineffectually threatened to do to represent to his father the profligacy of the man and to request him to appoint him another governor or to permit him to return to England till he had made choice of one for him begging of Dr Bartlett that he would allow him till he had an answer from his father to apply to him for advice and instruction
The answer of his father was That he heard of his prudence from every mouth That he was at liberty to chuse what companion he pleased But that he gave him no governor but his own discretion
Mr Grandison then more earnestly than before and with an humility and diffidence suited to his natural generosity of temper that never grew upon indulgence besought the Doctors direction
And when they were obliged to separate they established a correspondence which never will end but with the life of one of them
Mr Grandison laid before the Doctor all his plans submitting his conduct to him as well with regard to the prosecution of his studies as to his travels But they had not long corresponded in this manner when the Doctor let him know that it was needless to consult him aforehand and the more so as it often occasioned a suspension of excellent resolutions But he besought him to continue to him an account of all he undertook of all he performed and of every material incident of his life not only as his narrations would be matter of the highest entertainment to him but as they would furnish him with lessons from example that might be of greater force upon the unhappy Lorimer than his own precepts
While the Doctor was passing thro but a few of the cities in Lombardy Mr Grandison made almost the tour of Europe and yet gave himself time to make such remarks upon persons places and things as could hardly be believed to be the observations of so young a man Lorimer mean time was engaged in shews fpectacles and in the diversions of the places in which he lived as it might be said rather than thro which he passed
The Doctor at one time was the more patient with these delays as he was willing that the carnival at Venice should be over before he suffered his pupil to go to that city But Lorimer suspecting his intention slipt thither unknown to his governor at the very beginning of it and the Doctor was forced to follow him And when there had the mortification of hearing of him for the young man avoided his governor as much as possible as one of the most riotous persons there
In vain did the Doctor when he saw his pupil set before him the example of Mr Grandison a
younger man All the effect the Letters he used to read to him had upon him was to make him hate the more both his Governor and Mr Grandison By one Letter only did he do himself temporary credit It was written some months before it was shewn him in which Mr Grandison described some places of note thro which he had passed and thro which the Doctor and his charge had also more lately passed The mean creature contrived to steal it and his father having often urged for a specimen of his sons observations on his travels he copied it almost verbatim and transmitted it as his own to his father only letting the Doctor know after he had sent it away that he had written
The Doctor doubted not but Lorimer had exposed himself but was very much surprised when he received a congratulatory Letter from the father on his sons improvements mingled with some little asperity on the Doctor for having set out his son to his disadvantage I could not doubt said the fond father that a son of mine had genius He wanted nothing but to apply—And then he gave orders for doubling the value of his next remittance
The Doctor took the young gentleman to task about it He owned what he had done and gloried in his contrivance But his governor thought it incumbent upon him to undeceive the father and to save him the extraordinary part of his remittance
The young man was enraged at the Doctor for exposing him as he called it to his father and for the check he was continually giving to his lawless appetites and falling into acquaintance with a courtezan who was infamous for ruining many young travellers by her subtle and dangerous contrivances they joined in a resolution to revenge themselves on the Doctor whom they considered as their greatest enemy
Several projects they fell upon One in particular
was to accuse him by a third hand as concerning himself with affairs of state in Venice A crime which in that jealous republic is never overlooked and generally ends fatally for the accused who if seized is hardly ever heard of afterwards From this danger he narrowly escaped by means of his general good character and remarkable inoffensiveness and the profligateness of his accusers Nor knew he his danger till many months afterwards The Doctor believes that he fared the better for being an Englishman and a governor to the son of a British nobleman who made so considerable a figure in England because the Italians in general reap so much advantage from the travellers of this nation that they are ready to favour and encourage them above those of any other
The Doctor had been very solicitous to be acquitted of his ungracious charge In every Letter he wrote to England this was one of his prayers But still the father who knew not what to do with his son at home had besought his patience and wrote to his son in the strongest terms after reproaching him for his ungraciousness to pay an implicit obedience to the Doctor
The father was a learned man Great pains had been taken with Lorimer to make him know something of the antient Greek and Roman histories The father was very desirous that his son should see the famous places of old Greece of which he himself had read so much And with great difficulty the Doctor got the young man to leave Venice where the vile woman and the diversions of the place had taken scandalous hold of him
Athens was the city at which the father had desired they would make some stay and from thence visit other parts of the Morea And there the young man found his woman got before him according to private agreement between them
It was some time before the Doctor found out that the very woman who had acted so abandoned a part with Lorimer at Venice was his mistress at Athens And when he did he applied on some fresh enormities committed by Lorimer to the tribunal which the Christians have there consisting of eight venerable men chosen out of the eight quarters of the city to determine causes among Christians and they taking cognizance of the facts the wicked woman suborned wretches to accuse the Doctor to the Cadi who is the Turkish judge of the place as a dangerous and disaffected person and the Cadi being as it was supposed corrupted by presents got the Vayvode or Governor to interfere and the Doctor was seized and thrown into prison His Christian friends in the place were forbidden to interpose in his favour and pen and ink and all access to him were prohibited
The vile woman having concerted measures with the persons she had suborned for continuing the Doctor in his severe confinement set out with her paramour for Venice and there they rioted as before
Mr Beauchamp a young man of learning and fine parts happened to make an acquaintance with Mr Grandison in the island of Candia where they met as countrymen which from a sympathy of minds grew immediately into an intimacy that will hardly ever end This young gentleman in the course of his travels visiting Athens about this time was informed of the Doctors misfortune by one of the eight Christians who constituted the tribunal abovementioned and who was an affectionate friend of the Doctor tho forbidden to busy himself in his cause And Mr Beauchamp who had heard Mr Grandison speak of the Doctor with an uncommon affection knowing that Mr Grandison was then at Constantinople dispatched a man on purpose to acquaint him with the affair and with all the particulars he could get of the case authenticated as much as the nature of the thing would admit
Mr Grandison was equally grieved and astonished at the information He instantly applied to the English embassador at the Porte as also to the French minister there with whom he had made an acquaintance They to the Grand Vizir And an order was issued for setting the Doctor at liberty Mr Grandison in order to urge the dispatch of the Chiaux who carried it accompanied him and arrived at Athens just as the Vayvode had determined to get rid of the whole affair in a private manner the Doctors finances being exhausted by the bowstring The danger endeared the Doctor to Mr Grandison a relief so seasonable endeared Mr Grandison to the Doctor to them both Mr Beauchamp who would not stir from Athens till he had seen him delivered having busied himself in the interim in the best manner he could tho he was obliged to use caution and secrecy to do him service and to suspend the fatal blow
Here was a cement to a friendship that had been begun between the young gentlemen from likeness of manners between them and the Doctor whom they have had the goodness ever since to regard as their father And to this day it is one of the Doctors delights to write to his worthy son Beauchamp all that he can come at relating to the life and actions of a man whom the one regards as an example the other as an honour to the human race
It was some time before the Doctor knew for certain that the ungracious Lorimer had been consenting to the shocking treatment he had met with for the wretches whom the vile woman had suborned had made their escape from Athens before the arrival of Mr Grandison and the Chiaux the flagitious youth had written to his father in terms of the deepest sorrow an account of what had befallen his governor and his father had taken the best measures that could be fallen upon at so great a distance for
the Doctors succour and liberty But in all probability he would have been lost before those measures could have taken effect
Lorimers father little thinking that his son had connived at the plot formed against his governor besought him when he had obtained his liberty not to leave his son to his own devices The Doctor as little thinking then that Lorimer had been capable of a baseness so very villainous in compassion both to father and son went to Venice and got him out of the hands of the vile women and then to Rome But there the unhappy wretch continuing his profligate courses became at last a sacrifice to his dissoluteness and his death was a deliverance to his Family to the Doctor and to the Earth
On his deathbed he confessed the plot which the infamous courtezan had meditated against the Doctor at Venice as well as his connivance at that which she had carried into execution at Athens He died in horror not to be described begging for longer life and promising reformation on that condition The manner of his death and the crimes he confessed himself guilty of by the instigation of the most abandoned of women beside those committed against his governor so shocked and grieved the Doctor that he fell ill and his Recovery was long doubted of
Mean time Mr Grandison visited some parts of Asia and Afric Egypt particularly corresponding all the time with Dr Bartlett and allowing the correspondence to pass into the hands of Mr Beauchamp as he did that which he held with Mr Beauchamp to be communicated to the Doctor
When Mr Grandison returned to Italy finding there his two friends he engaged the Doctor to accompany Mr Beauchamp in that part of his tour into some of the Eastern regions which he himself had been particularly pleased with and as he said wanted to be more particularly informed of And
therefore insisted that it should be taken at his own expence He knew that Mr Beauchamp had a stepmother who had prevailed on his father to take off twothirds of the allowance he made him on his travels
Mr Beauchamp very reluctantly complied with the condition so generously imposed on him by his beloved friend another of whose arguments was That such a tour would be the most likely means to establish the health of a Man equally dear to both
Mr Grandison never was at a loss for arguments to keep in countenance the persons whom he benefited and to make their acceptance of his favours appear not only to be their duty but an obligation laid on himself
Mr Grandison himself when the two gentlemen set out on their tour was engaged in some affairs at Bologna and Florence which gave him great embarrasment
Dr Barlett and Mr Beauchamp visited the principal islands of the Archipelago After which the Doctor left the young gentleman pursuing his course to Constantinople with intention to visit some parts of Asia and took the opportunity of a vessel that was bound for Leghorn to return thither
His health was happily established And knowing that Mr Grandison expected the longdesired call from his father to return to England and that it was likely that he could be of use to his ward Miss Jervois and her affairs in her guardians absence he was the more desirous to return to Italy
Mr Grandison rejoiced at his arrival And soon after set out for Paris in order to attend there the expected call leaving Emily in the interim to his care
Lorimers father did not long survive his son He expressed himself in his last hours highly sensible of the Doctors care of his unhappy boy and earnestly
desired his Lady to see him handsomely rewarded for his trouble But not making a will and the Lady having by her early overindulgence ruined the morals of her child never suffering him to be either corrected or chidden were his enormities ever so flagrant she bore a sacred grudge to the Doctor for his honest representations to her Lord of the young mans immoralities And not even the interposition of a Sir Charles Grandison has hitherto been able to procure the least acknowledgment to the Doctor though the loss as well of his reputation as life might have been the consequence of the faithful services he had endeavoured to render to the profligate youth and in him to the whole family
THUS far dear Miss Byron delight of every one who is so happy as to know you reach my kinsmans extracts from my papers I will add some particulars in answer to your enquiries about Mr Beauchamp if writing of a man I so greatly love I can write but a few
Mr Beauchamp is a fine young man in his person When I call him a second Sir Charles Grandison you and the Ladies and my Lord L will conceive a very high idea of his understanding politeness and other amiable qualities He is of an ancient family His father Sir Harry Beauchamp tenderly loves him and keeps him abroad equally against both their wills especially against Mr Beauchamps now his beloved friend is in England This is done to humour an imperious vindictive woman who when a widow had cast her eyes upon the young gentleman for a
husband imagining that her great wealth her person not disagreeable would have been a temptation to him This however was unknown to the father who made his addresses to her much about the time that Mr Beauchamp had given an absolute denial perhaps with too little ceremony to an overture made to him by a friend of hers This enraged her She was resolved to be revenged on him and knowing him to be absolutely in his fathers power as to fortune gave way to Sir Harrys addresses and on her obtaining such terms as in a great measure put both father and son in her power she married Sir Harry
She soon gained an absolute ascendant over her husband The son when his father first made his addresses to her was allowed to set out on his travels with an appointment of 600 l a year She never rested till she had got 400 l a year to be struck off and the remaining 200 were so ill remitted that the young gentleman would have been put to the greatest difficulties had it not been for the truly friendly assistance of Mr Grandison
Yet it is said that this Lady is not destitute of some good qualities and in cases where the son is not the subject behaves very commendably to Sir Harry But being a managing woman and Sir Harry loving his ease she has made herself his receiver and treasurer and by that means has put it out of his power to act as paternally by his son as he is inclined to do without her knowing it
The Lady and Sir Harry both however profess to admire the character of Sir Charles Grandison from the Letters Mr Beauchamp has written from time to time to his father and from the general report in his favour And on th•s as well I as Mr Beauchamp found our hope that if Sir Charles by some unsuspected way can make himself personally acquainted
with the Lady he will be able to induce her to consent to her soninlaws recall and to be reconciled to him the rather as there is no issue by this marriage whose interests might strengthen the Ladys animosity
Mr Beauchamp in this hope writes to Sir Charles that he can and will pay all the due respect to his fathers wife and as such treat her as his mother if she will consent to his return to his native country But declares that he would stay abroad all his life rather than his father should be made unhappy by allowing of his coming over against the consent of so highspirited a woman In the mean time he proposes to set out from Vienna where he now is for Paris to be near if Sir Charles who he thinks can manage any point he undertakes and who in this will be seconded by his fathers love can prevail with his motherinlaw
I long Ladies to have you all acquainted with this other excellent young man You Miss Byron I am sure in particular will admire Sir Charles Grandisons and my Beauchamp Of spirit so manly yet of manners so delicate—I end as I began He is a second Sir Charles Grandison
I shall think myself Ladies very happy if I can find it in my power to oblige you by any communications you would wish to be made you But let me once more recommend it to you Lady L Lord L and Miss Grandison to throw off all reserves to the most affectionate of brothers He will have none to you in cases which he knows will give you pleasure And if he forbears of his own accord to acquaint you withs ome certain affairs it is because the issue of them is yet hidden from himself
As to Lady Olivia mentioned to you by good Lord L she never can be more to my patron than she now is
Allow me to be my good Miss Byron with a true paternal affection
Your admirer and humble servant AMBROSE BARTLETT
Subjoined in a separate paper by Miss BYRON to her LUCY
HOW is this Lucy Let me collect some of the contents of these Letters If Sir Charles forbear of his own accord to acquaint his sisters with some certain affairs—Issue hidden from himself Engaged in some affairs at Bologna and Florence that embarrass him—Is or was so engaged means the Doctor Sir Charles not reserved yet reserved—How is all this Lucy
But does the Doctor say That I shall particularly admire Mr Beauchamp—What means the Doctor by that—But he cannot affront me so much as to mean any-thing but to shew his own love to the worthy young man The Doctor longs for us to see him If I do see him he must come quickly For shall I not soon return to my last my best refuge the arms of my indulgent grandmamma and aunt—I shall
But dear Lucy have you any spite in you Are you capable of malice—deadly malice—If you are sit down and wish the person you hate to be in Love with a man I must it seems speak out whom she think and everybody knows to be superior to herself in every quality in every endowment both of mind and fortune and be doubtful far far worse is doubtful than sure among some faint glimmerings of hope whether his affections are engaged and if they are not whether he can return—Ah Lucy you know what I mean—Dont let me speak out
But one word more—Dont you think the Doctors compliment at the beginning of his Letter a little
particular
〈◊〉•light of EVERYONE 〈◊〉 is so happy 〈…〉 you
Charming words—But are they or •re they •ot officiously inserted 〈…〉 the deligh•〈◊〉 Sir Charles Grandisons heart Does he not 〈◊〉 me—Weak silly vain humble low yet proud Harriet Byron—Begone paper—mean confession of my conjecturing folly—Ah Lucy I tore the paper half thro as youll see in anger at myself but I will stitch it to the Doctors Letter to be taken off by you and to be seen by no body else
END of VOL II
THE HISTORY OF Sir CHARLES GRANDISON IN A SERIES of LETTERS Published from the ORIGINALS By the Editor of PAMELA and CLARISSA
In SEVEN VOLUMES
VOL III
LONDON Printed by S RICHARDSON AND DUBLIN Reprinted and sold by the Booksellers M DCC LIII
THE HISTORY OF Sir CHARLES GRANDISON Bart
Saturday March 18
SELF my dear Lucy is a very wicked thing a sanctifier if one would give way to its partialities of actions which in others we should have no doubt to condemn DELICACY too is often a misleader an idol at whose shrine we sometimes offer up oar Sincerity but in that case it should be called Indelicacy
Nothing surely can be delicate that is not true or that gives birth to equivocation Yet how was I pleased with Lord and Lady L and Miss Crandison for endeavouring to pass me off to good Dr Bartlett in the light I had no title to appear in—As if my mind in a certain point remained to be known
and would so remain till the gentleman had discovered his
And are there some situations in which a woman must conceal her true sentiments In which it would be thought immodesty to speak out—Why was I born with an heart so open and sincere But why indeed as Sir Charles has said in his Letter relating to the Danbys should women be blamed for owning modestly a passion for a worthy and suitable object? Is it that they will not speak out lest if their wishes should not be crowned with success by one man they should deprive themselves of a chance to succeed with another Do they not propose to make the man they love happy—And is it a crime to acknowlege that they are so well disposed to a worthy object A worthy object I repeat for that is what will warrant the open heart What a littleness is there in the custom that compels us to be insincere And suppose we do not succeed with a first object shall we cheat a future Lover with the notion that he was the first
Hitherto I had acted with some selfapprobation I told Mr Greville Mr Fenwick Mr Orme Mr Fowler that I had not seen the man to whom I could wish to give my hand at the altar But when I found my heart engaged I was desirous Lady D should know that it was But yet misled by this same notion of delicacy I could think myself obliged to the two sisters and my Lord that they endeavoured to throw a blind over the eyes of good Dr Bartlett When the right measure I now think would have been not to have endeavoured to obtain lights from him that we all thought he was not commissioned to give or if we had to have related to him the whole truth and not have put on disguises to him but to have lest him wholly a judge of the fit and the unfit
And this is LOVE is it that puts an honest girl upon approving of such tricks—Begone Love I
banish thee if thou wouldst corrupt the simplicity of that heart which was taught to glory in truth
And yet I had like to have been drawn into a greater fault For What do you think—Miss Grandison had by some means or other she would not tell me how in Dr Bartletts absence on a visit to one of the Canons of Windsor got at a letter brought early this morning from her brother to that good man and which he had left opened on his desk
Here Harriet said she is the letter so lately brought not perhaps quite honestly come at from my brother to Dr Bartlett holding it out to me You are warmly mentioned in it Shall I put it where I had it Or will you so far partake of my fault as to read it first
O Miss Grandison said I And am I warmly mentioned in it Pray oblige me with the perusal of it And I held out my more than half guilty hand and took it But immediately recollecting myself did you not hint that you came at it by means not honest—Take it again I will not partake of your fault—But cruel Charlotte how could you tempt me so And I laid it on a chair
Read the first paragraph Harriet She took it up unfolded it and pointed to the first paragraph
Tempter said I how can you wish me to imitate our first pattern And down I sat and put both my hands before my eyes Take it away take it away while yet I am innocent Dear Miss Grandison dont give me cause for selfreproach I will not partake of your acknowledged fault
She read a line or two and then said Shall I read farther Harriet The very next word is your name I will—
No no no said I putting my fingers in my ears—Yet had you come honestly by it I should have longed to read it—By what means—
Why if people will leave their closetdoors open let them take the consequence
If people will do so—But was it so—And yet if it was would you be willing to have your letters looked into
Well then I will carry it back—Shall I holding it out to me Shall I Harriet—I will put it where I had it—Shall I And twice or thrice went from me and came back to me with a provoking archness in her looks
Only tell me Miss Grandison is there any-thing in it that you think your brother would not have us see—But I am sure there is or the obliging Dr Bartlett who has shewn us others would have favoured us with communicating the contents of this
I would not but have seen this letter for half I am worth O Harriet there are such things in it—Bologna Paris Grandisonhall
Be gone Siren Letters are sacred things Replace it—Dont you own that you came not honestly by it—And yet—
Ah Lucy I was ready to yield to the curiosity she had raised But recollecting myself Be gone said I Carry back the letter I am afraid of myself
Why Harriet here is one passage the contents of which you must be acquainted with in a very little while—
I will not be tempted Miss Grandison I will stay till it is communicated to me be it what it will
But you may be surprised Harriet at the time and know not what answer to give to it—You had as good read it—Here take it—Was there ever such a scrupulous creature—It is about you and Emily—
About me and Emily O Miss Grandison What can there be about me and Emily
And wheres the difference Harriet between asking me a out the contents and reading them—But I ll tell you—
No you shall not I will not hear the contents I never will ask you Can nobody act greatly but your brother Let you and I Charlotte be the better for his example You shall neither read them nor tell me of them I would not be so used myself
Such praises did I never hear of woman—Oh Harriet—Such praises—
Praises Charlotte—From your brother—O this curiosity the first fault of our first parent But I will not be tempted If you provoke me to ask questions laugh at me and welcome But I beseech you answer me not Dear creature if you love me replace the letter and do not seek to make me mean in my own eyes
How you reflect upon me Harriet—But let me ask you Are you willing as a third sister to take Emily into your guardianship and carry her down with you into Northamptonshire—Answer me that
Ah Miss Grandison And is there such a proposal as that mentioned—But answer me not I beseech you Whatever proposal is intended to be made me let it be made It will be too soon whenever that is if it be a disagreeable one
But let me say madam and tears were in my eyes that I will not be treated with indignity by the best man on earth And while I can refuse to yield to a thing that I think unworthy of myself you are a sister madam and have nothing either to hope or fear I have a title to act with spirit when occasions call for it
My dear you are serious—Twice madam in one breath I will not forgive you You ought now to hear that passage read which relates to you and Emily if you will not read it yourself
And she was looking for it I suppose intending to read it to me
No Miss Grandison said I laying my spread hand upon the letter I will neither read it nor hear it
read I begin to apprehend that there will be occasion for me to exert all my fortitude and while it is yet in my power to do a right or wrong thing I will not deprive myself of the consciousness of having merited well whatever may be my lot—Excuse me madam
I went to the door and was opening it—when she ran to me—Dear creature you are angry with me But how that pride becomes you There is a dignity in it that awes me O Harriet how infinitely does it become the only woman in the world that is worthy of the best man in it Only say you are not angry with me Say that you can and do forgive me
Forgive you my Charlotte I—I do But can you say that you came not honestly by that letter and yet forgive yourself But my dear Miss Grandison instantly replace it and do you watch over me like a true friend if in a future hour of weakness you should find me desirous to know any of the contents of a paper so naughtily come at I own that I had like to have been overcome And if I had all the information it would have given me could never have recompensed me for what I should have suffered in my own opinion when I reflected on the means by which I had obtained it
Superior creature how you shame me I will replace the letter And I promise you that if I cannot forget the contents of it myself and yet they are glorious to my brother I will never mention any of them to you unless the letter be fairly communicated to you and to us all
I threw my arms about her neck She fervently returned the sisterly embrace We separated she retiring at one door in order to go up to replace the letter I at the other to reconsider all that had passed on the occasion And I hope I shall love her the better for taking so kindly a behaviour so contrary to what her own had been
Well but dont you congratulate me my dear on my escape from my curiosity I am sure my grandmamma and my aunt will be pleased with their girl Yet it was an hard struggle I own In the suspense I am in a very hard struggle But tho wishes will play about my heart that I knew such of the contents as it might concern me to know yet I am infinitely better pleased that I yielded not to the temptation than I should have been if I had And then methinks my pride is gratified in the superiority this lady ascribes to me over herself whom so lately I thought greatly my superior
Yet what merit have I in this Since if I had considered only rules of policy I should have been utterly wrong had I yielded to the temptation For what use could I have made of any knowlege I might have obtained by this means If any proposal is to be made me of what nature soever it must in that case have appeared to be quite new to me And what an affectation must that have occasioned what dissimulation in your Harriet—And how would a creature educated as I have been have behaved under such trials as might have arisen from a knowledge so faultily obtained
And had I been discovered had I given cause of suspicion either to Dr Bartlett or Sir Charles I should have appeared as the principal in the fact It would have been mean to accuse Miss Grandison as the tempter in a temptation yielded to with my eyes open And should I not have cast a slur upon that curiosity which Dr Barlett before had not refused to gratify as well as shut myself out from all future communications and confidence
It is very possible besides that unused as I have been to artifice and disguise I should have betrayed myself especially had I found any of the contents of the letter very affecting
Thus you see Lucy that policy as well as rectitude
of manners justify me And in this particular I am an happy girl
Miss Grandison has just now told her sister what passed between us Lady L says she would not have been Miss Grandison in taking the letter by what means soever come at for how said she did I know what secrets there might be in it before I read it But I think verily when it had been got at and offered me I could not have been Miss Byron
And she threw her arms about me and hugged me to her Dear creature said she you must be Lady Grandison—Must said Miss Grandison She shall
Who Lucy whether that may ever come to pass or not would not on reflection thus approved by both sisters rejoice that she conquered her curiosity and acted as she did
Miss Grandison talked to Lady L of its being likely that her brother would go to Bologna Of a visit he is soon to make to Grandisonhall and she to go with him Of his going to Paris in order to settle some matters relating to the Will of his late friend Mr Danby—
Well Lucy my time in town is hastening to its period Why am I not reminded that my three allotted months are near expired Will you receive the poor girl who perhaps will not be able to carry down with her the heart she brought up And yet to go down to such dear friends without it what an ungrateful sound has that
Miss Grandison began to talk of other subjects relating to her brother and those greatly to his praise I could have heard all she had to say with infinite pleasure I do love to hear him praised But as I doubted not but these subjects arose from the letter so surreptitiously obtained I restrained myself and withdrew
OF what an happy temper is Miss Grandison She was much affected with the scene that passed between
us but all is over with her already One lesson upon her harpsichord sets everything right with her She has been raillying Lord L with as much life and spirit as if she had done nothing to be vexed at Had I been induced by her to read the letter which she got at dishonestly as she owned what a poor figure should I have made in my own eyes for a month to come
But did she not as soon overcome the mortification given her by her brother on the detection of captain Andersons affair How unmercifully did she railly me within a few hours after—Yet she has fine qualities One cannot help loving her I do love her But is it not a weakness to look without abatement of affection on those faults in one person which we should hold utterly inexcusable in another In Miss Grandisons case however dont say it is Lucy O what a partiality Yet she has within these few minutes owned that she thought the step she had taken a faulty one before she came to me with the letter and hoped to induce me to countenance her in what she had done
I called her a little Satan on this occasion But after all what if the dear Charlottes curiosity was more for my sake than her own No motive of friendship you will say can justify a wrong action—Why no Lucy that is very true but if you knew Miss Grandison you would love her dearly
The Letter which Miss Byron refused to read or hear read
Friday Night Mar 17
I HOPE my Lord L and my sisters will be able to make Colnebrooke so agreeable to Miss Byron
that I may have the pleasure of finding her there in the beginning of the week
My lord W is in town He has invited me to dine with him tomorrow and must not be denied was a part of his message brought me by Halden his steward who says That his lordship has something of consequence to consult me upon
When my dear friend shall I find time for myself Pray make my compliments to my Lord L and to my three sisters and tell them from me that when I have the happiness of being in their company then it is that I think I give time to myself
I have a letter from Bologna From the faithful Camilla The contents of it give me great concern She urges me to make one more visit there She tells me that the Bishop said in her hearing it would be kind if I would Were such a visit to be requested generally and it were likely to be of service you may believe that I would chearfully make it
I should go for a fortnight at least to Grandisonhall Burgess has let me know that the workmen have gone almost as far as they can go without my further orders And the churchwardens have signified to me that the church is completely beautified according to my directions so that it will be ready to be opened on the Sunday after next at farthest and intreat my presence both as patron and benefactor I will now hasten my designed alterations at the Hall
I had rather not be present at the opening Yet the propriety of my being there will probably prevail upon me to comply with the intreaties of the churchwardens who in their letter signify the expectations of Sir Samuel Clarke Sir William Turner and Mr Barnham of seeing me and my sister Charlotte You will be pleased to mention this to her
I wish without putting a slight upon good Mr Dobson that you my dear friend could oblige us with the first sermon All then would be decent and
worthy of the occasion and the praise would be given properly and not to the agent But as it would be a little mortifying to Mr Dobson of whose praise only I am apprehensive so much as to hint such a wish I will write to him that he will oblige me if he say not one word that shall carry the eyes of the audience to my seat
The execution of the orders I gave that five other pews should be equally distinguished and ornamented with mine carries not with it the appearance of affectation does it my good Dr Bartlett especially as so many considerable families have seats there I would not seem guilty of a false modesty which breaking out into singularity would give the suspicion of a wrong direction in cases where it may be of use to suppose a right one
What can I do in relation to my Emily She is of the stature of woman She ought according to the present taste to be introduced into public life I am not fond of that life And what knowlege she will gain by the introduction she had better be without Yet I think we should conform something to the tas e of the times in which we live Womens minds have generally a lighter turn than those of men They should be innocently indulged And on this principle it was that last winter I attended her and my sisters very often to the places of public entertainment that she having seen everything that was the general subject of polite conversation might judge of such entertainments as they deserve and not add expectation which runs very high in young minds and is seldom answered to the ideal seenes This indulgence answered as I wish Emily can now hear talk of the emulation of actors and managers and of the other public diversions with tranquillity and be satisfied as she reads with representing over again to herself the parts in which the particular actors excelled And thus a boundary is set to her imagination and
that by her own choice for she thinks lightly of them when she can be obliged by the company of my two sisters and Lord L
But new scenes will arise in an age so studious as this to gratify the eye and the ear From these a young woman of fortune must not be totally excluded I am a young man and as Emily is so well grown for her years I think I cannot so properly be her introducer to them as I might were I fifteen or twenty years older
I live to my own heart and I know I think I do that it is not a bad one But as I cannot intend anything with regard to my Emily I must for her sake be more observant of the worlds opinion than I hope I need to be for my own You have taught me that it is not good manners to despise the worlds opinion tho we should regard it only in the second place
Emily has too large a fortune I have an high opinion of her discretion But she is but a girl Womens eyes are wanderers And too often bring home guests that are very troublesome to them and whom once introduced they cannot get out of the house
I wish she had only ten thousand pounds She would then stand a better chance for happiness than she can do I doubt with five times ten and would have five persons to one that she has now to choose out of For how few are there who can make proposals to the father or guardian of a girl who has 50 000 l
Indeed there are not wanting in our sex forward spirits who will think that sum not too much for their merits tho they may not deserve 5000 l nor even one And hence arises the danger of a woman of great fortune from those who will not dare to make proposals to a guardian After an introduction and how easy is that now made at public places a woman of the greatest fortune is but a woman and is to be attacked and prevailed upon by the same methods
which succeed with a person of the slenderest and perhaps is won with equal if not with greater ease since if the lady has a little romance in her head and her Lover a great deal of art and flattery she will call that romantic turn generosity and thinking she can lay the man who has obtained her attention under obligation she will meet him her full halfway
Emily is desirous to be constantly with us My sister is very obliging I know she will comply with whatever I shall request of her in relation to Emily But where the reputation of a lady is concerned a man should not depend too much upon his own character especially a young man be it ever so unexceptionable Her mother has already given out foolish hints She demands her daughter The unhappy woman has no regard to truth Her own character lost and so deservedly will she have any tenderness for that of Emily Who will scruple to believe what a mother tho ever so wicked will report of her daughter under twenty and her guardian under thirty if they live constantly together Her guardian at the same time carrying his heart in his countenance and loving the girl though with as much innocence as if she were his sister Once I had thoughts of craving the assistance of the Court of Chancery for the protection of her person and fortune But an hint of this nature distressed her for many days unknown to me Had I been acquainted that she took it so heavily I would not have made her unhappy for one day
I have looked out among the quality for a future husband for her But where can I find one with whom I think she will be happy There are many who would be glad of her fortune As I said her fortune is too large It is enough to render every mans address to her suspected and to make a guardian apprehensive that her person agreeable as it is and every day improving and her mind opening to a•vantage
every hour of her life would be but the second if the second view of a man professing to love her And were she to marry what a damp would the slights of an husband give to the genius of a young lady whose native modesty would always make her want encouragement
I have also cast an eye over the gentry within my knowledge But have not met with one whom I could wish to be the husband of my Emily So tender so gentle so ductile as she is a fierce a rash an indelicate even a careless or indifferent man would either harden her heart or shorten her life And as the latter would be much more easy to be effected than the former, what must she suffer before she could return indifference for disrespect and reach the quiet end of it
See what a man Sir Walter Warkyns is My sister only could deal with such an one A superiority in her so visible he must fear her Yet a generosity so great and a dignity so conspicuous in her whole behaviour as well as countenance he must love her Everybodys respect to her would oblige love and reverence from him But my weakhearted diffident Emily what would she do with such a man
What would she do with a Sir Hargrave Pollexfen What with such a man as Mr Greville as Sir Hargrave describes him I mention these men for are not there many such
I am not apt to run into grave declamations against the times And yet by what I have seen abroad and now lately since my arrival at home and have heard from men of greater observation and who have lived longer in the world than I have I cannot but think that Englishmen are not what they were A wretched effeminacy seems to prevail among them Marriage itself is every day more and more out of fashion and even virtuous women give not the institution so much of their countenance as to discourage by their contempt
the freelivers A good woman as such has therefore but few chances for happiness in marriage Yet shall I not endeavour the more endeavour to save and serve my Emily
I have one encouragement since my happy acquaintance with Miss Byron to think that the age is not entirely lost to a sense of virtue and goodness See we not how everybody reveres her Even a Sir Hargrave Pollexfen a Greville a Fenwick men of free lives adore her And at the same time she meets with the love of all good men and the respect of women whether gay or serious But I am afraid that the first attraction with men is her beauty I am afraid that few see in that admirable young lady what I see in her A mind great and noble A sincerity beyond that of women A goodness unaffected and which shews itself in action and not merely in words and outward appearance A wit lively and inossensive And an understanding solid and useful All which render her a fit companion either in the social or contemplative hour And yet she thinks herself not above the knowlege of those duties the performance of which makes an essential of the female character
But I am not giving a character of Miss Byron to you my good Dr Bartlett who admire her as much as I do
Do you think it impossible for me to procure for my Emily such a guardian and companion as Miss Byron on her return to Northamptonshire would make her—Such worthy relations as she would introduce her to would be a further happiness to my ward
I am far from undervaluing my sisters good qualities But if Emily lives with her she must live also with me Indeed the affairs in which I am engaged for other people if I may call those who have a claim upon me for every instance of my friendship other people will occasion me to be often absent
But still while Grandisonhall and St Jamess Square are the visible places of residence equally of the guardian and ward Emilys mother will tell the world that we live together
Miss Jervois does not choose to return to Mrs Lane and indeed I dont think she would be safe there in a family of women tho very worthy ones from the attempts of one of the sex who having brought her into the world calls herself her mother and especially now that the unhappy woman has begun to be troublesome there I beg of you therefore my dear Dr Bartlett who know more of my heart and situation than any one living my dear Beauchamp excepted to consider what I have written and give me your opinion of that part of it which relates to Miss Byron and Emily
I was insensibly drawing myself in to enumerate the engagements which at present press most upon me Let me add to the subject—I must soon go to Paris in order finally to settle such of the affairs of my late worthy friend as cannot be so well done by any other hand The three thousand pounds which he has directed to be disposed of to charitable uses in France as well as in England at the discretion of his executor is one of them
Perhaps equity will allow me to add to this limited sum from what will remain in my hands after the establishment of the nephews and niece As they are young and brought up with a hope that they will make a figure in the world by their diligence I would not by any means make them independent on that The whole estate divided among them would not be sufficient to answer that purpose happily tho it might be enough to abate the edge of their industry
The charity that I am most intent upon promoting in France and in England too is that of giving little fortunes to young maidens in marriage with honest men of their own degree who might from such an
outsetting begin the world as it is called with some hope of success
By this time my dear Dr Bartlett you will guess that I have a design upon you It is that you will assist me in executing the Will of my late friend Make enquiries after and reccommend to me objects worthy of relief You was very desirous some time ago to retire to the Hall But I knew not how to spare you and I hoped to attend you thither You shall now set out for that place as soon as you please And that neither may be or as little as possible losers by the separation everything that we would say to each other were we together that as we used to do we will say by pen and ink We will be joint executors in the first place for this sum of 3000 l
Make enquiries then as soon as you get down for worthy objects—The industrious poor of all persuasions reduced either by age infirmity or accident Those who labour under incurable maladies Youth of either sex capable of beginning the world to advantage but destitute of the means These in particular are the objects we both think worthy of assistance You shall take 500 l down with you for a beginning
It is my pride it is my glory that I can say Dr Bartlett and Charles Grandison on all benevolent occasions are actuated by one soul My dear friend adieu
Sat Night March 18
I HAVE furnished the Ladies and my Lord with more letters And so they have all my heart before them—I dont care The man is Sir Charles Grandison and they railly me not so much as before
while they thought I affected reserves to them Indeed it would be cruel if they did and I should have run away from them
I am glad you all think that the two sisters used me severely They really did But I have this gratification of my pride in reflecting upon their treatment of me—I would not have done so by them had situations been exchanged And I think myself nearer an equality with them than I had thought myself before—But they are good ladies and my sincere friends and wellwishers and I forgive them And so must my dear grandmamma
I am sorry m•thinks that her delicacy has been offended on the occasion And did she weep at the hearing read my account of that attack made upon her girl by the overlively Charlotte—O the dear the indulgent parent How tender was it of my aunt too to be concerned for the poor Harriets delicacy so hard put to it as she was It did indeed as she distinguishes in her usual charming manner look as if they put a great price upon their intended friendship to me with regard to my interest in their brothers heart As if the favour done to the humbled girl if they could jointly procure for her their brothers countenance might well allow of their raillery —Dont pray dont my dear grandmamma call it by a severer name They did not I am sure they did not mean to hurt me so much as I really was hurt So let it pass Humour and raillery are very difficult things to rein in They are ever curveting like a prancing horse and they will often throw the rider who depends more upon his skill in managing them than he has reason to do
My uncle was charmed with the scene and thinks the two ladies did just as he would have done He means it a compliment to their delicacy I presume But I am of my aunt Selbys opinion that their generous
brother would not have given them thanks for their raillery to the poor frighted Harriet I am very happy however that my behaviour and frankness on the occasion are not disapproved at Selbyhouse and Shirleymanor and by you my Lucy And here let that matter rest
Should I not begin to think of going back to you all my Lucy I believe I blush ten times a day when alone to find myself waiting and waiting as if for the gracious motion yet apprehending that it never will never can be made and all you my friends indulging an absence that your goodness makes painful to you in the same hope It looks—Dont it Lucy—so like a design upon—I dont know how it looks—But at times I cant endure myself And yet while the love of virtue a little too personal perhaps is the foundation of these designs these waitings these emotions I think I am not wholly inexcusable
I am sure I should not esteem him were he not the good man he is—Pray let me ask you—Do you think he could not be put upon saying something affronting to me upon doing something unworthy of his character—O then I am sure I should hate him All the other instances of his goodness would then be as nothing I will be captious I think and study to be affronted whether he intends to affront me or not—But what a multitude of foolish notions comes into the head of a silly girl who little as she knows knows more of any-thing, or of anybody than she knows of herself
I WISH my godfather had not put it in my head that Emily is cherishing perhaps unknown to herself a flame that will devour her peace For to be sure this young creature can have no hope that—Yet 50000l is a vast fortune But it can never buy her
guardian Do you think such a man as Sir Charles Grandison has a price—I am sure he has not
I watch the countenance the words the air of the girl when he is spoken of And with pity I see that he cannot be named but her eyes sparkle Her eye is taken off her work or book as she happens to be engaged in either and she seems as if she would look the person through who is praising her guardian For the life of her she cannot work and hear And then she sighs—Upon my word Lucy there is no such thing as proceeding with his praises before her—the girl so sighs—So young a creature—Yet how can one caution the poor thing
But what makes me a little more observant of her than I should otherwise perhaps have been additional to my godfathers observation is an hint given me by Lady L which perhaps she has from Miss Grandison and she not unlikely from the stolen letter For Miss Grandison hinted at it but I thought it was only to excite my curiosity When one is not in good humour how ones very stile is encumbred The hint is this That it is more than probable it will be actually proposed to me to take down with me to Northamptonshire this young lady—I who want a governess myself to be—But let it be proposed
In a conversation that passed just now between us women on the subject of Love a favourite topic with all girls this poor thing gave her opinion unasked and for a young girl was quite alert I thought She used to be more attentive than talkative
I whispered Miss Grandison once Dont you think Miss Jervois talks more than she used to do madam
I think she does madam rewhispered the arch lady
I beg your pardon—Charlotte then
You have it Harriet then—But let her prate She is not often in the humour
Nay with all my heart I love Miss Jervois But I cant but watch when habits begin to change And I am always afraid of young creatures exposing themselves when they are between girls and women
I dont love whispering said Miss Jervois more pertly than ever But my guardian loves me and you ladies love me and so my heart is easy
Her heart easy—Who thought of her heart Her guardian loves her—Emily shant go down with me Lucy
Sunday Monday March 10
O BUT Lucy we are alarmed here on Miss Jervoiss account by a letter which Dr Bartlett received a little late last night from Sir Charles so shewed it us not till this morning as we were at breakfast The unhappy woman her mother has made him a visit Poor Emily Dear child what a mother she has
I have so much obliged the doctor by delivering into his hands the papers that our other friends have just perused and let me say with high approbation that he made no scruple of allowing me to send this letter to you I asked the favour as I know you will all now be very attentive to whatever relates to Emily Return everything the doctor shall intrust me with by the first opportunity
By the latter part of this letter you will find that the doctor has acquainted Sir Charles with his sisters wishes of a correspondence with him by letter He consents to it you will all see but upon terms that are not likely to be complied with by any of his three sisters for he puts me in Three sisters His third sister—The repetition has such an officiousness in it He is a good man but he can be severe upon our sex—It is not in woman to be unreserved —Youll find that one of the reflections upon us He adds And to be impartial perhaps th•y should not Why so—But is not this a piece of advice given to myself to make me more reserved than I am But he gives not
himself opportunity to see whether I am or am not reserved I wont be mean Lucy I repeat for the twentieth time I wont deserve to be despised by him—No tho he were the sovereign of the greatest empire on earth In this believe
Your HARRIET BYRON
Inclosed in the preceding
March 18
I HAVE had a visit my dear and reverend friend from Emilys mother She will very probably make one also at Colnebrooke before I can be so happy as to get thither I dispatch this therefore to apprise you and Lord L of such a probability which is the greater as she knows Emily to be there thro the inadvertence of Saunders and finds me to be in town I will give you the particulars of what passed between us for your better information if she goes to Colnebrooke
I was preparing to attend Lord W as by appointment when she sent in her name to me
I received her civilly She had the assurance to make up to me with a full expectation that I would salute her but I took or rather received her ready hand and led her to a chair by the fireside You have never seen her She thinks herself still handsome and did not her vices make her odious and her whole aspect shew her heart she would not be much mistaken
How does Emily Sir gallanting her fan Is the girl here Bid her come to me I will see her
She is not here madam
Where is she then She has not been at Mrs Lanes for some time
She is in the best protection She is with my two sisters
And pray Sir Charles Grandison What do you intend to do with her The girl begins to be womanly
She laughed and her heart spoke out at her eyes
Tell me what you propose to do with her You know added she affecting a serious air that she is my child
If madam you deserve to be thought her mother you will be satisfied with the hands she is in
Pish—I never loved you good men Where a fine girl comes in their way I know what I know—
She looked wantonly and laughed again
I am not to talk seriously with you Mrs Jervois But what have you to say to my ward
Say —Why you know Sir I am her mother And I have a mind to have the care of her person myself You must so her father directed have the care of her fortune But I have a mind for her reputationsake to take the girl out of the hands of so young a guardian I hope you will not oppose me
If this be all your business madam I must be excused I am preparing as you see to dress
Where is Emily I will see the girl
If your motive be motherly love little madam as you have acted the mother by her you shall see her when she is in town But her person and reputation as well as fortune must be my care
I am married Sir And my husband is a man of honour
Your marriage madam gives a new reason why Emily must not be in your care
Let me tell you Sir that my husband is a man of honour and as brave a man as yourself and he will see me righted
Be he who he will he can have no business with Emily Did you come to tell me you are married mama
I did Sir Dont you wish me joy—
Joy madam I wish you to deserve joy and you will then perhaps have it Youll excuse me—I shall make my friends wait
I could not restrain my indignation This woman marries as she calls it twice or thrice a year
Well Sir then you will find time perhaps to talk with Major O Hara He is of one of the best families in Ireland And he will not let me be robbed of my daughter
Major OHara madam has nothing to do with the daughter of my late unhappy friend Nor have I any-thing to say to him Emily is in my protection and I am sorry to say that she never had been so were not the woman who calls herself her mother the person least fit to be intrusted with her daughter Permit me the favour of leading you to your chair
She then broke out into the language in which she always concludes these visits She threatened me with the resentments of Major OHara and told me He had been a conqueror in half a dozen duels
I offered my hand She refused it not I led her to her chair
I will call again tomorrow afternoon said she threatning with her head perhaps with the major Sir And I expect you will produce the little harlotry—
I withdrew in silent contempt Vile woman
But let nothing of this escape you to my Emily I think she should not see her but in my presence The poor girl will be terrified into fits as she was the last time she saw her if she comes and I am not there But possibly I may hear no more of this wicked woman for a month or two Having a power to make her annuity either one or two hundred pounds according to her behaviour at my own discretion the man she has married who could have no inducement but the annuity if he has married her will not suffer her to
incur such a reduction of it for you know I have always hitherto paid her two hundred pounds a year Her threatening to see me tomorrow may be to amuss me while she goes The woman is a foolish woman but being accustomed to intrigue she aims at cunning and contrivance
I am now hastening to Lord W I hope his woman will not be admitted to his table as the generally is let who will be present yet it seems knows not how to be silent whatever be the subject I have never chosen either to dine or sup with my Lord that I might not be under a necessity of objecting to her company And were I not to object to it as I am a near kinsman to my Lord and know the situation she is in with him my complaisance might be imputed to motives altogether unworthy of a man of spirit
Yours of this morning was brought me just as I was concluding There is one paragraph in it that greatly interests me
You hint to me that my sisters tho my absences are short would be glad to receive nowandthen a letter from me You my dear friend have engaged me into a kind of habit which makes me write to you with ease and pleasure—To you and to our Beauchamp methinks I can write any-thing. Use it is true would make it equally agreeable to me to write to my sisters I would not have them think that there is a brother in the world that better loves his sisters than I do mine And now you know I have three But why have they not signified as much to me Could I give pleasure to any whom I love without giving great pain to myself it would be unpardonable not to do it
I could easily carry on a correspondence with my sisters were they to be very earnest about it But then it must be a correspondence The writing mu•t not be all of one side Do they think I should not be equally pleased to hear what they are about from time
to time and what occasionally their sentiments are upon persons and things If it fall in your way and you think it not a mere temporary wish for young Ladies often wish and think no more of the matter then propose the condition—But caution them that the moment I discover that they are less frank and more reserved than I am there will be an end of the correspondence My three sisters are most amiably frank for women—But thus challenged dare they enter the lists upon honour with a man a brother upon equal terms—O no They dare not It is not in woman to be unreserved in some points and to be impartial perhaps they should not Yet surely there is nowandthen a man a brother to be met with who would be the more grateful for the confidence reposed in him
Were this proposal to be accepted I could write to them many of the things that I communicate to you I have but few secrets I only wish to keep from relations so dear to me things that could not possibly yield them pleasure I am sure I could trust to your judgment the passages that might be read to them from my letters to you
Sometimes indeed I love to divert myself with Charlottes humorous curiosity for she seems as I told her lately to love to suppose secrets where there are none for a compliment to her own sagacity when she thinks she has found them out and I love at such times to see her puzzled and at a fault as a punishment for her declining to speak out
You have told me heretofore in excuse for the distance which my two elder sisters observe to their brother when I have complained of it to you that it proceeded from awe from reverence for him But why should there be that awe that reverence Surely my dear friend if this is spontaneous and invincible in them there must be some fault in my behaviour some seeming want of freedom in my
manner with which you will not acquaint me It is otherwise impossible that between brothers and sisters where the love is not doubted on either side such a distance should subsist You must consult them upon it and get them to explain themselves on this subject to you and when they have done so tell me of my fault and I will endeavour to render myself more agreeable more familiar shall I say to them But I will not by any means excuse them if they give me cause to think that the distance is owing to the will and the power I have been blessed with to do my duty by them What would this be but indirectly to declare that once they expected not justice from their brother But no more of this subject at present I am impatient to be with you all at Colnebrooke you cannot think how impatient Selfdenial is a very hard doctrine to be learned my good Dr Bartlett So in some cases is it found to be by
Your CHARLES GRANDISON
Colnebrooke Sunday Evening
POOR Emily her heart is almost broken This ignoble passion what a meanspirited creature had it like to have made me—Be quiet be quiet Lucy—I will call it ignoble Did you ever know me before so little—And had it not like to have put me upon being hardhearted envious and I cant tell what to a poor fatherless girl just starting into woman and therefore into more danger than she ever was in before wanting to be protected—from whom From a mother —Dreadful circumstance—Yet I am ready to grudge the poor girl her guardian and her innocent prattle—But let me be despised by the man I love if I do not conquer this newdiscovered envy
jealousy littleness at least with regard to this unhappy girl whose calamity endears her to me
Dear child sweet Emily You shall go down with me if it be proposed My grandmamma and uncle and aunt will permit me to carry you with me They are generous They have no little passion to mislead their beneficence They are what I hope to be now I have found myself out—And what if her gratitude shall make her heart overflow into Love has she not excuse for it if Harriet has any
Well but to the occasion of the poor Emilys distress—About twelve this day soon after Lord L and the two sisters and I came from church for Emily happened not to go a coach and four stopped at the gate and a servant in a sorry livery alighting from behind it enquired for Lord L Two gentlemen who by their dress and appearance were military men and one Lady were in it
My Lord ordered them to be invited to alight and received them with his usual politeness
Dont let me call this unhappy woman Emilys mother O Hara is the name she owns
She addressed herself to my Lord I am the mother of Emily Jervois my Lord This gentleman Major O Hara is my husband
The Major bowed strutted and acknowleged her for his wife And this gentleman my Lord said he is Captain Salmeret a very brave man He is in foreign service His Lady is my own sister
My Lord took notice of each
I understand my Lord that my daughter is here I desire to see her
One of my Lords servants at that time passing by the door which was open Pray Sir said she to him let Miss Jervois know that her mamma is come to see her Desire her to come to me
Major I long to see my new daughter I hear she is a charming young Lady She may depend upon the •nd e•s of a f••her from me
Capt De man of honour and good nature be my broders general charact er I do assure your Lordship
He spoke English as a Frenchman my Lord says but pronounced the word character as an Irishman
Major bowing No need of this my dear friend My Lord has the charact er of a fine gentleman himself and knows how to receive a gentleman who waits upon him with due respect
Lord L I hope I do But madam you know whose protection the Lady is in
Mrs OHara I do my Lord Sir Charles Grandison is a very fine gentleman
Capt De vinest charact er in de vorld By my salvation everybody say so
Mrs OHara But Sir Charles my Lord is a very young gentleman to be guardian to so young a creature especially now that she is growing into woman I have had some few faults I own Who lives that has not But I have been basely scandalized My first husband had his and much greater than I had He was set against me by some of his own relations Vile creatures—He left me and went abroad but he has answered for all by this time and for the scanty allowance he made me his great fortune considered But as long as my child will be the better for it that I can forgive—Emily my dear—
She stepped to the door on hearing the rustling of silks supposing her at hand but it was Miss Grandison followed by a servant with chocolate to afford her pretence to see the visitors and at the same time having a mind to hint to them that they were not to expect to be asked to stay to dinner
It is to Miss Grandison that I owe the description of each the account of what passed and the broken dialect
Mrs OHara has been an handsome woman but
well might Sir Charles be disgusted with her aspect She has a leering fly yet confident eye and a very bold countenance She is not ungenteel yet her very dress denotes her turn of mind Her complexion sallowish streaked with red makes her face which is not so plump as it once has been look like a withering Johnapple that never ripened kindly
Miss Grandison has a way of saying illnatured things in such a goodnatured manner that one cannot forbear smiling tho one should not altogether approve of them and yet sometimes one would be ready to wonder how she came by her images
The Major is pert bold vain and seemed particularly sond of his new scarlet coat and laced waistcoat He is certainly Miss Grandison says a low man tho a soldier Anderson added she is worth fifty of him His face fiery and highly pimpled is set off to advantage by an enormous solitaire His bad and straggling teeth are shewn continually by an affected laugh and his empty discourse is interlarded with eaths which with my uncles leave I shall omit
Captain Salmonet she says appeared to her in a middle way between a beau and a Dutch boor aiming at gentility with a person and shape uncommonly clumsy
They both assumed military airs which not sitting naturally gave them what Miss Grandison called The swagger of soldierly importance
Emily was in her own apartment almost fainting with terror For the servant to whom Mrs OHara had spoken to bid her daughter come to her had officiously carried up the message
To what Mrs OHara had said in defence of her own character my Lord answered Mr Jervois had a right madam to do what he pleased with a fortune acquired by his own industry A disagreement in marriage is very unhappy but in this case as in a duel the survivor is hardly ever in fault I have
nothing to do in this matter Miss Jervois is very happy in Sir Charles Grandisons protection She thinks so and so does everybody that knows her It is your misfortune if you do not
Mrs O Hara My Lord I make no dispute of Sir Charless being the guardian of her fortune but no father can give away the authority a mother has as well as himself over her child
Major That child a daughter too my Lord
Lord L To all this I have nothing to say You will not be able I believe to persuade my brother Grandison to give up his wards person to you madam
Mrs OHara Chancery may my Lord—
Lord L I have nothing to say to this madam No man in England knows better what is to be done in this case than Sir Charles Grandison and no man will be readier to do what is just and fitting without law But I enter not into the case you must not talk to me on this subject
Miss Gr Do you think madam that your marriage intitles you the rather to have the care of Miss Jervois
Major with great quickness I hope madam that my honour and my charact er—
Miss Gr Be they ever so unquestionable will not intitle you Sir to the guardianship of Miss Jervoiss person
Major I do not pretend to it madam But I hope that no fathers will no guardians power is to set aside the natural authority which a mother has over her child
Lord L This is not my affair I am not inclined to enter into a dispute with you madam on this subject
Mrs OHara Let Emily be called down to her mother I hope I may see my child She is in this house my Lord I hope I may see my child
Major Your Lordship and you madam will allow that it would be the greatest hardship in the world to deny to a mother the sight of her child
Capt De very greatest hardship of all hardships Your Lordship will not refuse to let de daughter come to her moder
Lord L Her guardian perhaps will not deny it You must apply to him He is in town Miss Jervois is here but as a guest She will be soon in town I must not have her alarmed She has very weak spirits
Mrs OHara Weak spirits my Lord—A child to have spirits too weak to see her mother—And she felt for her handkerchief
Miss Gr It sounds a little harshly I own to deny to a mother the sight of her daughter But unless my brother were present I think my Lord it cannot be allowed
Major Not allowed madam
Capt A moder to be denied to see her daughter Jesu And he crossed himself
Mrs OHara putting her handkerchief to hide her eyes for it seems she wept not I am a very unhappy mother indeed—
Major embracing her My dearest life My best love I must not bear these tears—Would to God Sir Charles were here and thought fit—But I came not here to threaten—You my Lord are a man of the greatest honour so is Sir Charles—But whatever were the misunderstandings between husband and wife they should not be kept up and propagated between mother and child My wife at present desires only to see her child Thats all my Lord Were your brother present madam he would not deny her this Then again embracing his wise my dear soul be comforted You will be allowed to see your daughter no doubt of it I am able to protect and right you My dear soul be comforted
She sobbed Miss Grandison says and the goodnatured Lord L was moved—Let Miss Jervois be asked said he If she chooses to come down
I will go to her myself said Miss Grandison
She came down presently again—
Miss Byron and Miss Jervois said she are gone out together in the chariot
Major Nay madam—
Capt Upon my salvation this must not pass—And he swaggered about the room
Mrs OHara looked with an air of incredulity
It was true however For the poor girl being ready to saint I was called in to her Lady L had been making a visit in the chariot and it had just brought her back O save me save me dear madam said Miss Emily to me wringing her hands I cannot I cannot see my mother out of my guardians presence And the will make me own her new husband I beseech you save me hide me
I saw the chariot from the window and without asking any questions I hurried Miss Emily down stairs and conducted the trembling dear into it and whipping in after her ordered the coachman to drive anywhere except towards London And then the poor girl threw her arms about my neck smothering me with her kisses and calling me by all the tender names that terror and mingled gratitude could suggest to her
Miss Grandison told the circumstances pretty near as above adding I think my Lord that Miss Emily wants not apology for her terror on this occasion That Lady in her own heart knows that the poor girl has reason for it
Madam said the Major my wife is cruelly used Your brother—But I shall talk to him upon the subect He is said to be a man of conscience and honour I hope I shall find him so I know how to protect and right my wife
And I will stand by my broder and his lady said the Captain to de very last drop of my blood—He looked fierce and put his hand on his sword
Lord L You dont by these airs mean to insult me gentlemen—If you do—
Major No no my Lord But we must seek our remedy elsewhere Surprising that a mother is denied the sight of her daughter Very surprising
Capt Very surprising indeed—Ver dis to be done in my country—In France—English liberty Begar ver pretty liberty—A daughter to be supported against her moder—Whew Ver pretty liberty by my salvation—
Mrs O Hara And is indeed my vile child run away to avoid seeing her mother—Strange Does she always intend to do thus—She must see me—And dearly shall she repent it
And she looked fierce and particularly spiteful and then declared that she would stay there till Emily came back were it midnight
Lord L You will have my leave for that madam
Major Had we not best go into our coach and let that drive in quest of her—She cannot be far off It will be easy to trace a chariot
Lord L Since this matter is carried so far let me tell you that in the absence of her guardian I will protect her Since Miss Jervois is thus averse she shall be indulged in it If you see her madam it must be by the consent and in the presence of her guardian
Major Well my dear since the matter stands thus since your child is taught to shun you thus let us see what Sir Charles Grandison will say to it He is the principal in this affair and is not privileged If he thinks fit—And there he stopped and blustered and offered his hand to his bride—I am able both to protect and right you madam and I will But you have a letter for the girl written on a supposition that
she was not here—Little did you think or I think that she was in the house when we came and that she should be spirited away to avoid paying her duty to her mother
Very true Very true And Very true said each and Mrs OHara pulled out the letter laying it on one of the chairs and desired it might be given to her daughter And then they all went away very much dissatisfied the two men muttering and threatning and resolving as they said to make a visit to Sir Charles
I hope we shall see him here very soon I hope these wretches will not insult him or endanger a life so precious Poor Emily I pity her from my heart She is as much grieved on this occasion as I was in dread of the resentment of Sir Hargrave Pollexfen
Let me give you some account of what passed between Emily and me You will be charmed with her beautiful simplicity
When we were in the chariot she told me that the last time she saw her mother it was at Mrs Lanes The bad woman made a pretence of private business with her daughter and withdrew with her into another room and then insisted that she should go off with her unknown to anybody And because I desired to be excused said she my mother laid her hands upon me and said she would trample me under her foot It is true unhappy woman she was—Then the dear girl whispered me tho nobody was near us—sweet modest creature loth to reveal this part of her mothers shame even to me aloud and blushed as she spoke— she was in her cups—My mamma is as naughty as some men in that respect And I believe she would have been as good as her word but on my screaming for I was very much frighted Mrs Lane who had an eye upon us ran in with two servants and one of her daughters and rescued me She had torn my cap—Yet it was a sad
thing you know madam to see ones mother put out of the house against her will And then she raised the neighbourhood Lord bless me I thought I should have d•ed I did fall into fits Then was Mrs Lane forced to tell every one what a sad woman my mother was It was such a disgrace to me—It was a month before I eould go to church or look anybody in the face But Mrs Lanes character was of her side and my guardians goodness was a help—Shall I say a help against my mother—Poor woman we heard afterwards she was dead but my guardian would not believe it If it would please God to take me I should rejoice Many a tear does my poor mother and the trouble I give to the best of men cost me when nobody sees me and many a time do I cry myself to sleep when I think it impossible I should get such a kind relief
I was moved at the dear girls melancholy tale I clasped my arms about her and wept on her gentle bosom Her calamity which was the greatest that could happen to a good child I told her had endeared her to me I would love her as my sister
And so I will Dear child I will for ever love her And I am ready to hate myself for some passages in my last letter O how deceitful is the heart I could not have thought it possible that mine could have been so narrow
The dear girl rejoiced in my assurances and prom•sed grateful love to the latest hour of her life
Indeed madam I have a grateful heart said she for all I am so unhappy in a certain relation I have none of those sort of faults that give me a resemblance in any way to my poor mother But how shall I make out what I say You will mistrust me I fear You will be apt to doubt my principles But will you promise to take my heart in your hand and guide it as you please—Indeed it is an honest one I wish you •aw it thro and thro—If ever I do a wrong
thing mistrust my head if you please but not my heart But in everything I will be directed by you and then my head will be as right as my heart
I told her that good often resulted from evil It was an happy thing perhaps for both that her mothers visit had been made Look upon me my dear Emily as your entire friend We will have but one heart between us
Let me add Lucy that if you find me capable of drawing this sweet girl into consessions of her insant love and of making ungenerous advantage of them tho the event were to be fatal to my peace if I did not I now call upon all you my dear friends to despise and renounce the treacherous friend in Harriet Byron
She besought me to let her write to me to let her come to me for advice as often as she wanted it whether here in my dressingroom or chamber or at Mr Reevess when I went from Colnebrooke
I consented very chearfully and at her request for indeed said she I would not be an intruder for the world promised by a nod at her entrance to let her know if she came when I was busy that she must retire and come another time
You are too young a Lady added she to be called my mamma—Alas I have never a mamma you know But I will love you and obey you on the holding up of your finger as I would my mother were she as good as you
Does not the beautiful simplicity of this charming girl affect you Lucy But her eyes swimming in tears her earnest looks her throbbing bosom her hands now clasped about me now in one another, added such graces to what she said that it is impossible to do justice to it And yet I am affected as I write but not so much you may believe as at the time she told her tender tale
Indeed her calamity has given her an absolute possession
of my heart I who had such good parents and have had my loss of them so happily alleviated and even supplied by a grandmamma and an aunt so truly maternal as well as by the love of every one to whom I have the happiness to be related how unworthy of such blessings should I be if I did not know how to pity a poor girl who must reckon a living mother as her heaviest misfortune
Sir Charles from the time of the disturbance which this unhappy woman made in Mrs Lanes neighbourhood and of her violence to his Emily not only threatned to take from her that moiety of the annuity which he is at liberty to withdraw but gave orders that she should never again be allowed to see his ward but in his presence And she has been quiet till of late only threatening and demanding But now she seems on this her marriage with Major OHara to have meditated new schemes or is aiming perhaps at new methods to bring to bear an old one of which Sir Charles had private intimation given him by one of the persons to whom in her cups she once boasted of it Which was that as soon as Miss Emily was marriageable she would endeavour either by fair means or foul to get her into her hands And if she did but for one week she should the next come out the wife of a man she had in view who would think half the fortune more than sufficient for himself and make over the other half to her and then she should come into her right which she deems to be half of the fortune of which her husband died possessed
This that follows is a copy of the letter left for Emily by this mother which tho not well spelled might have been written by a better woman who had hardships to complain of which might have intitled her to pity
My dear Emily
IF you have any love any duty left for an unhappy mother whose faults have been barbarously aggravated to justify the ill usage of a husband who was not faultless I conjure you to insist upon making me a visit either at my new lodgings in Deanstreet Soho or that you will send me word where I can see you supposing I am not permitted to see you as this day or that you should not be at Colnebrooke where it seems you have been some days I cannot believe that your guardian for his own reputationsake as well as for justicesake as he is supposed to be a good man will deny you if you insist upon it as you ought to do if you have half the love for me that I have for you
Can I doubt that you will insist upon it I cannot I long to see you I long to lay you in my bosom And I have given hopes to Major OHara a man of one of the best families in Ireland and a very worthy man and a brave man too who knows how to right an injured wife if he is put to it but who wishes to proceed amicably that you will not scruple as my husband to call him father
I hear a very good account of your improvements Emily and I am told that you are grown very tall and pretty O my Emily—What a grievous thing is it to say that I am told these things and not to have been allowed to see you and to behold your growth and those improvements which must rejoice my heart and do tho I am so basely belied as I have been Do not you Emily despise her that bore you It is a dreadful thing with such fortunes as your father left that I must be made poor and dependent and then be despised for being so
But if you my child are taught to be and will be one of those what tho I have such happy prospects in my present marriage will be my fate but a
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bitter death which your want of duty will hasten For what mother can bear the contempts of her child And in that case your great fortune will not set you above Gods judgments But better things are hoped of my Emily by her
Indulgent tho heretofore unhappy Mother HELEN OHARA
Saturday March 18
My Lord thought fit to open this letter He is sorry that he did because the poor girl is so lowspirited that he does not choose to let her see it but will leave it to her guardian to give it to her or not as he pleases
Miss Grandison lifted up her hands and eyes as she read it Such a wretch as this said she to remind Emily of Gods judgments and that line written as even as the rest How was it possible if her wicked heart could suggest such words that her fingers could steadily write them But indeed she verifies the words of the wise man There is no wickedness like the wickedness of a woman
We all long to see Sir Charles Poor Emily in particular will be unhappy till he comes
While we expect a favoured person tho rich in the company of the friends we are with what a diminution does it give to enjoyments that would be complete were it not for that expectation The mind is uneasy not content with itself, and always looking out for the person wanted
Emily was told that her mother left a letter for her but is advised not to be solicitous to see it till her guardian comes My Lord owned to her that he had opened it and pleased tenderness as he justly might in excuse of having taken that liberty She thanked his Lordship and said It was for such girls as she to be directed by such good and kind friends
She has just now left me I was writing and
wanted to close I gave her a nod with a smile as agreed upon a little before Thank you thank you dear madam said she for this freedom She stopped at the door and with it in her hand in a whispering accent bending forwards Only tell me that you love me as well as you did in the chariot
Indeed my dear I do and better I think if possible Because I have been putting part of our conversation upon paper and so have fastened your merits on my memory
God bless you madam I am gone And away she tript
But I will make her amends before I go to rest and confirm all that I said to her in the chariot for most cordially I can
I am my dear Lucy and will be
Ever Yours HARRIET BYRON
London Friday Night Mar 17
YOU wished me my dear Mrs Selby as I was obliged to go to London on my own affairs to call at Colnebrooke and to give you my observations on the state of matters there and whether there were any likelihood of the event we are all so desirous should be brought about and particularly if an opportunity offered that I would at distance sound Sir Charles himself on the subject I told you that you need not be afraid of my regard to our dear childs delicacy and that she herself should not have reason to mistrust me on this nice subject
It seems his great engagements in town and some he has had in Kent have hindered him from giving Lord L and his sisters much of his company tho
our Harriet is there which they all extremely regret
I dined at Colnebroke Lord L is a very worthy and agreeable man Lady L and Miss Grandison are charming women Miss Jervois is a pretty young Lady—But more of her byandby—The cousin Grandison you spoke of is gone down to Grandisonhall whither Sir Charles himself thinks shortly of going—But this and other distant matters I refer to our Harriets own account
My visit to Sir Charles is most in my head and I will mention that and give place to other observations afterwards
After dinner I pursued my journey to London As my own business was likely to engage me for the whole time I had to stay in town I alighted at his house in St Jamess Square and was immediately on sending in my name introduced to him
Let me stop to say He is indeed a very fine gentleman Majesty and sweetness are mingled in every feature of his face and the latter rather than the former, predominates in his whole behaviour Well may Harriet love him
I told him that I hoped on my coming to town on particular affairs he would excuse the intrusion of a man who was personally a stranger to him but who had long wished for an opportunity to thank him for the relief he had given to a young lady in whom I claimed an interest that was truly paternal At the same time I congratulated him on the noble manner in which he had extricated himself to the confusion of men whom he had taught to find out and to be ashamed that they were savages
He received my compliments as a man might be supposed to do to whom praise is not a new thing and made me very handsome ones declaring himself acquainted with my character with my connections with your family and with one of the most excellent of
young Ladies This naturally introduced the praises of our Harriet in which he joined in so high and so just a strain that I saw his heart was touched I am sure it is So set yours at rest It must do Everything is moving and that not slowly to the event so desireable I led to the graces of her person he to those of her mind▪ He allowed her to be for both one of the most perfect beauties he had ever seen In short Mrs Selby I am convinced that the important affair will ripen of itself. His sisters Lord L Dr Bartlett all avowedly in our lovely girls favour and her merit so extraordinary it must do Dont you remember what the old song says
When Phoebus does his beams display
To tell men gravely that tis day
Is to suppose them blind
All I want methinks is to have them oftener together Idleness I believe is a great friend to Love I wish his affairs would let him be a little idle They must be dispatched soon be they what they will for Lord L said that when he is master of a subject his execution is as swift as thought Sir Charles hinted that he should soon be obliged to go to France Seas are nothing to him Dr Bartlett said that he considers all nations as joined on the same continent and doubted not but if he had a call he would undertake a journey to Constantinople or Pekin with as little difficulty as some others would he might have named me for one to the Landsend Indeed he appears to be just that kind of man Yet he seems not to have any of that sort of fire in his constitution that goes off with a bounce and leaves nothing but vapour aod smoke behind it
You are in doubt about our girls fortune It is not a despicable one He may no question have a woman with a much greater and so may she a man—What say you to Lady Ds proposal rejected for his sake
at haphazard too as the saying is But let it once come to that question and leave it to me to answer it
You bid me remark how Harriet looks She is as lovely as ever but I think not quite so lively and somewhat paler but it is a clear and healthy not a sickly paleness And there is a languor in her fine eyes that I never saw in them before She never was a pert girl but she has more meekness and humility in her countenance than methinks I would wish her to have because it gives to Miss Grandison who has fine spirits some advantages in conversation over Harriet that if she had methinks she should not take But they perfectly understand one another.
But now for a word or two about Miss Jervois I could not but take notice to our Miss Byron of the greediness with which she eats and drinks the praises given her guardian of the glow that overspreads her cheeks and of a sigh that nowandthen seems to escape even her own observation when he is spoken of so like a neice of mine that drew herself in and was afterwards unhappy and by these symptoms I conclude that this young creature is certainly giving way to Love She has a very great fortune is a pretty girl and an improving beauty She is tall and womanly I thought her sixteen or seventeen but it seems she is hardly fourteen There is as much difference in girls as in fruits as to their maturing as I may say My mother I remember once said of an early bloom in a neice of hers that such were born to woe I hope it wont be so with this for she certainly is a good young creature but has not had great opportunities of knowing either the world or herself Brought up in a confined manner in her fathers house at Leghorn till twelve or thirteen whatopportunities could she have No mothers wings to be sheltered under Her mothers wickedness giving occasion the more to streighten her education and at a time of life so young and in so restraining a country as Italy for girls and
young maidens and since brought over put to board with a retired country gentlewoman—What can she know poor thing She has been but a little while with Miss Grandison and that but as a guest So that the world before her is all new to her And indeed there seems to be in her pretty wonder and honest declarations of her whole heart a simplicity that sometimes borders upon childishness tho at other times a kind of womanly prudence I am not afraid of her on our Harriets account and yet Harriet Loverlike perhaps was alarmed at my hinting it to her But I am on her own I wish as I said before Sir Charles were more among them He would soon discover whose Love is fit to be discountenanced and whose to be encouraged and by that means give ease to twenty hearts For I cannot believe that such a man as this would be guilty I will call it of reserve to such a young Lady as ours were he but to have the shadow of a thought that he has an interest in her heart
My affairs are more untoward than I expected But on my return to Peterborough I will call at Shirleyhouse and Selbymanor—and then as I hope to see Sir Charles again either in London or at Colnebrooke I will talk to you of all these matters Mean time believe me to be
Your affectionate and faithful humble Servant THOMAS DEANE
Monday March 20
AFTER we had taken leave of one another for the night I tapt at Fmilys chamberdoor which being immediately opened by her maid Is it you my dear Miss Byron said she running to me How good this is
I am come my dear late as it is to pass an agreeable halfhour with you if it will not be unseasonable
That it can never be
You must then let your Anne go to bed said I Else as her time is not her own I shall shorten my visit I will assit you in any little services myself I have dismissed Jenny
God bless you madam said she You consider everybody Anne tells me that the servants throughout the house adore you And I am sure their principals do—Anne you may go to your rest
Jenny who attends me here has more than once hinted to me that Miss Jervois loves to sit up late either reading or being read to by Anne who tho she reads well is not fond of the task
Servants said I are as sensible as their masters and mistresses They speak to their feelings I question not but they love Miss Jervois as well as they do me I should as soon choose to take my measures of the goodness of principals by their servants love of them as by any other rule Dont you see by the silent veneration and assiduities of the servants of Sir Charles Grandison how much they adore their master
I am very fond of being esteemed by servants said she from that very observation of my guardians goodness and his servants worthiness as well as from what my maid tells me all of them say of you But you and my guardian are so much alike in every thing that you seem to be born for one another.
And then she sighed involuntarily yet seemed not to endeavour to restrain or recal her sigh
Why sighs my dear young friend Why sighs my Emily
Thats good of you to call me you▪ Emily My guardian calls me his Emily I am always proud when he calls me so—I dont know why I sigh But I have lately got a trick of sighing I think Will
it do me harm Anne tells me it will and says I must break myself of it She says is is not pretty in a young Lady to sigh But where is the unprettiness of it
Sighing is said to be a sign of being in Love and young Ladies—
Ah madam And yet you sigh very often—
I felt myself blush
I often catch myself sighing my dear said I It is a trick as you call it which I would not have you learn
But I have reason for sighing madam which you have not—Such a mother A mother that I wanted to be good not so much to me as to herself A mother so unhappy that one must be glad to run away from her My poor papa so good as he was to every body and even to her yet had his heart broken—O madam—flinging her arms about me and hiding her face in my bosom Have I not cause to sigh
I wept on her neck I could not help it So dutifully sensible of her calamity and for such a calamity who could forbear
Such a disgrace too said she raising her head Poor woman—Yet she has the worst of it Do you think that that is not enough to make one sigh
Amiable goodness kissing her cheek I shall love you too well
You are too good to me You must not be so good to me That even that will make me sigh My guardians goodness to me gives me pain and I think verily I sigh more since last I left Mrs Lane and have seen more of his goodness and how everybody admires and owns obligation to him than I did before—To have a stranger as one may say and so very fine a gentleman to be so good to one and to have such an unhappy mother—who gives him so much trouble—how can one help sighing for both reasons
Dear girl said I my heart overflowing with compassion for her you and I are bound equally by the tie of gratitude to esteem him
Ah madam you will one day be the happiest of all women—And so you deserve to be
What means my Emily
Dont I see dont I hear what is designed to be brought about by Lord and Lady L and Miss Grandison And dont I hear from my Anne what every body expects and wishes for
And does everybody expect and wish my Emily—
I stopped She went on—And dont I see that my guardian himself loves you
Do you think so Emily
O how he dwells upon your words when you speak
You fansy so my dear
You have not observed his eyes so much as I have done when he is in your company I have watched your eyes too but have not seen that you mind him quite so much as he does you—Indeed he loves you dearly—And then she sighed again
But why that sigh my Emily—Were I so happy as you think in the esteem of this good man would you envy me my dear
Envy you—I such a simple girl as I envy you No indeed Why should I envy you—But tell me now dear madam tell me Dont you love my guardian
Every body does You my Emily love him
And so I do But you love him madam with a hope that no one else will have reason to entertain—Dear now place a little confidence in your Emily My guardian shall never know it from me by the least hint I beg you will own it You cant think how you will oblige me Your confidence in me will give me importance with myself
Will you Emily be as frankhearted with me as you would have me be with you
Indeed I will
I do my dear greatly esteem your guardian
Esteem Is that the word Is that the Ladies word for Love And is not the word Love a pretty word for women I mean no harm by it I am sure
And I am sure you cannot mean harm I will be sincere with my Emily But you must not let any one living know what I say to you of this nature I would prefer your guardian my dear to a king in all his glory
And so madam would I if I were you I should be glad to be thought like you in everything
Amiable innocence But tell me Miss Jervois Would you not have me esteem your guardian You know he was my guardian too and that at an exigence when I most wanted one
Indeed I would Would you have me wish such a good young Lady as Miss Byron to be ungrateful No indeed—And again she sighed
Why then sighed my Emily You said you would be frankhearted
So I will madam But I really cant tell why I sighed then I wish my guardian to be the happiest man in the world I wish you madam to be the happiest woman And how can either be so but in one another?—But I am grieved I believe that there seems to be something in the way of your mutual happiness—I dont know whether that is all neither—I dont know what it is—If I did I would tell you—But I have such throbs sometimes at my heart as make me fetch my breath hard—I dont know what it is—Such a weight here as makes me sigh and I have a pleasure I think because I have an ease in sighing—What can it be—
Go on my dear You are a pretty describer
Why now if anybody as Anne did last time my
guardian came hither was to run up stairs in an hurry and to say Miss Miss Miss your guardian is come I should be in such a flutter my heart would seem to be too big for my bosom I should sit down as much out of breath as if I had ran down an high hill—And for half an hour may be so tremble that I should not be able to see the dear guardian that perhaps I had wanted to see And to hear him with a voice of gentleness as if he pitied me for having so unhappy a mother call me his Emily—Dont you think he has a sweet voice—And your voice too madam is also so sweet—Everybody says that even in your common speech your voice is melody—Now Anne says—
O my agreeable little flatterer
I dont flatter madam Dont call me a flatterer I am a very sincere girl Indeed I am
I dare say you are But you raise my vanity my dear It is not your fault to tell me what people say of me but it is mine to be proud of their commendations—But you were going to tell me what Anne says on your being so much affected when she tolls you in an hurry that your guardian is come
Why Anne says That all those are signs of Love Foolish creature—And yet so they may But not of such Love as she means—Such a Love as she as good as owns she had in her days of slutteration as she whimsically calls them which as she explains it were when she was two or three years older than I am In the first place I am very young you know madam a mere girl And such a simple thing—I never had a mother nor sister neither nor a companion of my own sex—Mrs Lanes daughters what were they—They looked upon me as a child as I was In the next place I do love my guardian thats true but with as much reverence as if he were my father I never had a thought that had not that deep that profound reverence for him as I remember I had for my father
But you had not my dear any of those flutters those throbs that you spoke of on any returns of your father after little absences
Why no I cant say I had Nor tho I always rejoiced when my guardian came to see me at Mrs Lanes had I as I remember any such violent emotions as I have had now of late I dont know how it is—Can you tell me
Do you not Lucy both love and pity this sweet girl
My dear Emily—These are symptoms I doubt—
Symptoms of what madam—Pray tell me sincerely I will not hide a thought of my heart from you
If encouraged my dear—
What then madam—
It would be Love I doubt—That sort of Love that would make you uneasy—
No that cannot be surely Why madam at that rate I should never dare to stand in your presence Upon my word I wish no one in the world but you to be lady Grandison I have but one fear—
And what is that
That my guardian wont love me so well when he marries as he does now
Are you afraid that the woman he marries will endeavour to narrow so large an heart as his
No not if that woman were you—But forgive my folly and she looked down he would not take my hand so kindly as now he does He would not look in my face with pleasure and with pity on my mothers account as he does now He would not call me his Emily He would not bespeak ever ones regard for his ward
My dear you are now almost a woman He will if he remain a single man soon draw back into his heart that kindness and love for you which while you
are a girl he suffers to dwell upon his lips You must expect this change of behaviour soon from his prudence You yourself my love will set him the example You will grow more reserved in your outward behaviour than hitherto there was reason to be—
O madam never tell me that I should break my heart were I twenty and he did not treat me with the tenderness that he has always treated me with If indeed he find me an incroacher if he find me forward and indiscreet and troublesome then let him call me any bodys Emily rather than his
You will have different notions my dear before that time—
Then I think I shant desire to live to see the time Why madam all the comfort I have to set against my unhappiness from my mother is that so good so virtuous and so prudent a man as Sir Charles Grandison calls me his Emily and loves me as his child Would you madam were you Lady Grandison now tell me would you grudge me these instances of his favour and affection
Indeed my dear I would not If I know my own heart I would not
And would you permit me to live with you—Now it is out—Will you permit me to live with my guardian and you—This is a question I wanted to put to you but was both ashamed and afraid till you thus kindly emboldened me
Indeed I would if your guardian had no objection
That dont satisfy me madam Would you be my earnest my sincere advocate and plead for me He would not deny you any-thing. And would you come madam I will put you to it—Would you say
Look you here Sir Charles Grandison This girl this Emily is a good sort of girl She has a great fortune Snares may be laid for her She has no papa but you She has poor thing I hope you would call me by names of pity to move him no
mamma or is more unhappy than if she had none Where can you dispose of her so properly as to let her be with us I will be her protectress her friend her mamma
Yes do madam let me choose a mamma Dont let the poor girl be without a mamma if you can give her one I am sure I will study to give you pleasure and not pain—
I insist upon it Sir Charles It will make the poor girls heart easy She is told of the arts and tricks of men where girls have great fortunes and she is always in dread about them and about her unhappy mother Who will form plots against her if she is with us
—Dear dear madam you are moved in my favour—Who could have forborn being affected by her tender prattle and she threw her arms about me I see you are moved in my favour—And I will be your attendant I will be your waitingmaid I will help to adorn you and to make you more and more lovely in the eyes of my guardian
I could not bear this
No more no more my lovely girl my innocent my generous my irresistible girl—Were it come to that It became me to be unreserved for more reasons than one to this sweet child—Not one request should my Emily make that heart and mind I would not comply with Not one wish that I would not endeavour to promote and accomplish for her
I folded her to my heart as she hung about my neck
I grieve you—I would not for the world grieve my young mamma said she—Henceforth let me call you my mamma—Mamma as I have heard the word explained is a more tender name even than mother —The unhappy Mrs Jervois shall be Mrs OHara if she pleases and only mother A child must not renounce her mother tho the mother should renounce or worse than renounce her child
I must leave you Emily
Say then my Emily
I must leave you my and more than my Emily—You have cured me of sleepiness for this night
O then I am sorry—
No dont be sorry You have given me pain tis true but I think it is the sweetest pain that ever entered into an human heart Such goodness such innocence such generosity—I thank God my love that there is in my knowledge so worthy a young heart as yours
Now how good this is and again she wrapped her arms about me And will you go
I must I must my dear—I can stay no longer—But take this assurance that my Emily shall have a first place in my heart for ever I will study to promote your happiness and your wishes shall be the leaders of mine
Then I am sure I shall live with my guardian and you for ever as I may say And God grant and down on her knees she dropped with her arms wrapped about mine that you may be the happiest of women and that scon for my sake as well as your own in marriage with the best of men—my guardian exultingly said she And say Amen—Do God bless you madam say Amen to my prayer
I struggled from her—O my sweet girl I cannot bear you—I hastened out at the door to go to my chamber
You are not angry madam following me and taking my hand and kissing it with eagerness Say you are not displeased with me I will not leave you till you do
Angry my love Who can be angry How you have distressed me by your sweet goodness of heart
Thank God I have not offended you And now say once more my Emily—Say Good rest to you my Emily—my love—and all those tender names—and say God bless you my child as if you were my
mamma and I will leave you and I shall in fancy go to sleep with Angels
Angels only are fit company for my Emily—God bless my Emily Good night Be your slumbers happy
And I kissed her once twice thrice with fervor and away she tript but stopt at the door courtesying low as I delighted yet painfully delighted looked after her
Ruminating in my retirement on all the dear girl had said and on what might be my fate so many different thoughts came into my head that I could not close my eyes I therefore arose before day and while my thoughts were agitated with the affecting subject had recourse to my pen
Do my Lucy and do you my grandmamma my aunt my uncle more than give me leave bid me command me if it shall be proposed to bring down with me my Emily And yet she shall not come if you dont all promise to love her as well as you do
Your for ever obliged HARRIET BYRON
Monday Mar 20
THE active the restless goodness of this Sir Charles Grandison absolutely dazles me Lucy
The good Dr Bartlett has obliged us all with the sight of two letters which give an account of what he has done for Lord W his uncle He has been more than a father to his uncle Does not that sound strange But he is to be the obliger of everybody
The Doctor said that since Miss Grandison had claimed the benefit of her brothers permission for him to use his own discretion in communicating to us
such of the letters as he was favoured with by Sir Charles he believed he could not more unexceptionably oblige Lord L and the sisters than by reading to them those two letters as they were a kind of family subject
After the Doctor had done reading he withdrew to his closet I stole up after him and obtained his leave to transmit them to you
Lucy be chary of them and return them when perused
There is no such thing as pointing out particular passages of generosity justice prudence disinterestedness beneficence that strike one in those letters without transcribing every paragraph in them And ah Lucy there are other observations to be made mortifying ones I fear
Only let me say That I think if Sir Charles Grandison could and would tender himself to my acceptance I ought to decline his hand Do you think if I were his I should not live in continual dread of a separation from him even by that inevitable stroke which alone could be the means of completing his existence
This is the man ye modest ye tenderhearted fair ones whom ye should seek to entitle to your vows Not the lewd the obscene libertine soul Harpy son of Riot and of Erebus glorying in his wickedness triumphing in your weakness and seeking by storm to win an heart that ought to shrink at his approach Shall not Like cleave to Like —Henceforth may it be so wishes
Your HARRIET BYRON
Sat Night Mar 18
AS soon as I had seen Mrs Jervois to her chair I went to attend Lord W
He received me with great expressions of esteem and affection
He commanded his attendants to withdraw and told me taking my hand that my character rose upon him from every mouth He was in love with me he said I was my mothers son
He commended me for my oeconomy and complimented into generosity the justice I had done to some of my friends
I frankly own said he that at your first arrival and even till now that I am determined to be the man you cousin would wish me to be I had thought it but prudent to hold back For I imagined that your father had lived at such a rate that you would have applied to me to extricate you from difficulties and particularly for money to marry your elder sister at least I took notice young man proceeded he and I heard others observe that you had not eyes to see any of your fathers faults either when he was living or departed and this gave me reason to apprehend that you had your fathers extravagant turn And I was resolved if I were applied to to wrap myself close about in a general denial Else all I had been gathering together for so many years past might soon have been dissipated and I should only have taken a thorn out of the foot of another and put it into my own
And then he threw out some disagreeable reflexions on my fathers spirit
To those I answered That every man had a right to judge for himself in those articles for which he himself only is accountable My father and your Lordship continued I had very different ways of thinking Magnificence was his taste Prudence so your Lordship must account it is yours There are people in the world who would give different names to both tastes But would not your Lordship think it very presumptuous in any man to arraign you at the
bar of his judgment as mistaken in the measures of your prudence
Look you ne hew I dont well know what to make of your speech but I judge that you mean not to affront me
I do not my Lord While you was apprehensive that you might be a sufferer by me you acted with your usual prudence to discourage an application My father had in your Lordships judgment but one fault and he was the principal sufferer by it himself Had he looked into his affairs he would have avoided the necessity of doing several things that were disagreeable to him and must ever be to a man of spirit His very timber that required as I may say the ax would have furnished him with all he wanted And he paid interest for a less sum of money than actually was in the hands of his stewards unaccounted for
But what a glory to you cousin—
No compliment to me my Lord I pray you to the discredit of my fathers memory He had a right to do what he did Your Lordship does what you think fit I too now I am my own master do as I please My taste is different from both I pursue mine as he did his If I should happen to be more right than my father in some things he might have the advantage of me in others and in those I happen to do that are generally thought laudable what merit have I Since all this time directed by a natural bias I am pursuing my own predominant passion and that perhaps with as much ardour and as little power to resist it as my father had to restrain his
Bravo bravo said my Lord—Let me ask you nephew—May all young men if they will improve by travelling as you have done—If they may by my troth nine parts in ten of those who go abroad ought to be hanged up at their fathers doors on their return
Very severe my Lord But thinking minds will be thoughtful whether abroad or at home Unthinking ones call for our pity
Well Sir I do assure you that I am proud of my nephew whatever you are of your uncle And there are two or three things that I want to talk to you about and one or two that I would consult you upon
He rang and asked What time dinner would be ready
In half an hour was the answer
Mrs Gissard came in Her face glowed with passion My Lord seemed affected at her entrance It was easy to see that they were upon ill terms with each other and that my Lord was more afraid of her than she was of him
She endeavoured to assume a complaisant air to me but it was so visibly struggled for that it sat very aukwardly on her countenance and her lips trembled when she broke silence to ask officiously as she did after the health of my sister Charlotte
I would be alone with my nephew said my Lord in a passionate tone
You shall be alone my Lord impertinently replied she with an air that looked as if they had quarrelled more then once before and that she had made it up on her own terms She pulled the door after her with a rudeness that he only could take and deserve who was conscious of having degraded himself
Foolish woman Why came she in when I was there except to shew her supposed consequence at the expence of his honour She knew what my opinion was of her She would by a third hand once have made overtures to me of her interest with my Lord but I should have thought meanly of myself had I not with disdain rejected the tender of her services
A damned woman said my lord but looked fist as if he would be sure she was out of hearing
This woman nephew and her behaviour is one of the subjects I wanted to consult you upon
Defer this subject my Lord till you have recovered your temper You did not design to begin with it You are discomposed
And so I am And he puffed and panted as if out of breath
I asked him some indifferent questions To have followed him upon the subject at that time whatever resolutions he had taken they would probably have gone off when the passion to which they would have owed their vigour had subsided
When he had answered them his colour and his wrath went down together
He then ran out into my praises again and particularly for my behaviour to Mrs Oldham who he said lived now very happily and very exemplarily and never opened her lips when she was led to mention me but with blessings heaped upon me
That woman my Lord said I was once good A recovery where a person is not totally abandoned is more to be hoped for than the reformation of one who never was wellprincipled All that is wished for in the latter is that she may be made unhurtful Her highest good was never more then harmlessness She that was once good cannot be easy when she is in a true state of penitence till she is restored to that from which she was induced to depart
You understand these matters cousin I dont But if you will favour me with more of your company I shall I believe be the better for your notions But I must talk about this woman nephew I am calm now I must talk of this woman now—I am resolved to part with her I can bear her no longer Did you n•• mind how she pulled the door after her tho you were present
I did my Lord But it was plain that something disagreeable had passed before or she could not so intirely have forgot herself But my Lord we will postpone this subject if you please If you yourself
lead to it after dinner I will attend to it with all my heart
Well then be it so But now tell me Have you nephew any thoughts of marriage
I have great honour for the state an hope to be one day happy in it
Well said—And are you at liberty kinsman to receive a proposal of that nature
And then without waiting for my answer he proposed Lady Frances N and said he had been spoken to on that subject
I answered that the Lady was very deserving but that I should think myself under too great obligations to a wife for my own ease if there were a woman in the world whom I could prefer to her
Well what think you of Lady Anne S I am told that she is likely to be the Lady She has a noble fortune Your sisters I hear are friends to Lady Anne
My sisters wish me happily married I have such an opinion of both those Ladies that it would give me some little pain to imagine each would not in her turn refuse me were I offered to her as I cannot myself make the offer I cannot bear my Lord to think of returning slight for respect to my own sex But as to Ladies how can we expect that delicacy and dignity from them which are the bulwarks of their virtue if we do not treat them with dignity
Charming notions If you had them not abroad you had them from your mother She was all that was excellent in woman
Indeed she was Excellent woman She was always before my eyes
And excellent kinsman too Now I know your reverence for your mother I will allow of all you say of your father because I see it is all from principle I have known some men who have spoken with reverence of their mothers to give themselves dignity
That is to say for bringing creatures so important as themselves into the world and who have exacted respect to the good old women who were merely good old women as we call them in order to take the incense offered the parent into their own nostrils This was duty in parade
The observation my good Dr Barlett I thought above my Lord W I think I have heard one like it made by my father who saw very far into men but was sometimes led by his wit into saying a severe thing And yet whenever I hear a man praised highly for the performance of common duties as for being a good husband a good son or a kind father tho each is comparatively praiseworthy I conclude that there is nothing extraordinary to be said of him To call a man a good FRIEND is indeed comprizing all the duties in one word For friendship is the balm as well as seasoning of life And a man cannot be defective in any of the social duties who is capable of it when the term is rightly understood
Well cousin since you cannot think of either of those Ladies how should you like the rich and beautiful Countess of R You know what an excellent character she bears
I do But my Lord I should not choose to marry a widow And yet generally I do not disrespect widows nor imagine those men to blame who marry them But as my circumstances are not unhappy and as riches will never be my principal inducement in the choice of a wife I may be allowed to indulge my peculiarities especially as I shall hope and I should not deserve a good wife if I did not that when once married I shall be married for my whole life
The Countess once declared said my Lord before half a score in company two of them her particular admirers That she never would marry any man in the world except he were just such another in mind and manners as Sir Charles Grandison
Ladies my Lord who in absence speak favourably of a man that forms not pretensions upon them nor is likely to be troublesome to them would soon convince that man of his mistake were his presumption to rise upon their declared good opinions
I wonder proceeded my Lord that every young man is not good I have heard you cousin praised in all the circles where you have been mentioned It was certainly an advantage to you to come back to us a stranger as I may say Many youthful follies may perhaps be overpassed that we shall never know any-thing of But be that as it will I can tell you Sir that I have heard such praises of you as have made my eyes glisten because of my relation to you I was told within this month past that no fewer than Five Ladies out of one circle declared that they would stand out by consent and let you pick and choose a wife from among them
What your Lordship has heard of this nature let me say without affecting to disclaim a compliment apparently too high for my merits is much more to the honour of the one sex than of the other I should be glad that policy if not principle principle might take root and grow from it would mend us men
So should I nephew But I Poor man he hung down his head have not been a better man than I ought to be Do you not despise me in your heart cousin—You must have heard—That cursed woman—But I begin to repent And the truly good I believe cannot be either censorious or uncharitable Tell me however Do you not despise me
Despise my mothers brother No my Lord Yet were a sovereign to warrant my freedom and there was a likelihood that he would be the better for it I would with decency tell him my whole mind I am sorry to say it but your Lordship if you have not had virtue to make you worthy of being imitated
has too many examples among the great as well as among the middling to cause you to be censured for singularity But your Lordship adds to a confession that is not an ungenerous one that you begin to repent
Indeed I do And your character cousin has made me halfashamed of myself
I am not accustomed my Lord to harangue on these subjects to men who know their duty But let me say That your Lordships good resolutions to be efficacious must be built upon a better foundation than occasional disgust or disobligation But here again we are verging to a subject that we are both agreed to defer till after dinner
I am charmed with your treatment of me cousin I shall for my own sake adore my sisters son Had I consulted my chaplain who is a good man too he would have too roughly treated me
Divines my Lord must do their duty
He then introduced the affair between Sir Hargrave Pollexfen and me of which I found he was more particularly informed than I could have imagined And after he had launched out upon that and upon my refusal of a duel he by a transition that was very natural mentioned the rescued Lady as he called her I have heard cousin said he that she is the most beautiful woman in England
I think her so my Lord replied I And she has one excellence that I never before met with in a Beauty She is not proud of it
I then gave my opinion of Miss Byron in such terms as made my Lord challenge me as my sisters once did on the warmth of my description and praises of her
And does your Lordship think that I cannot do justice to the merits of such a Lady as Miss Byron but with an interested view I do assure you that what I have said is short of what I think of her
But I can praise a Lady without meaning a compliment to myself I look upon it however as one of the most fortunate accidents of my life that I have been able to serve her and save her from a forced marriage with a man whom she disliked and who could not deserve her There is hardly any-thing gives me more pain than when I see a worthy woman very unequally yoked if her own choice has not been at first consulted and who yet tho deeply sensible of her misfortune irreproachably supports her part of the yoke
You are a great friend to the sex kinsman
I am I think the man who is not must have fallen into bad company and deserves not to have been favoured with better Yet to unwomanly faults to want of morals and even to want of delicacy no man is more quicksighted
I dont know how it is but I have not at this rate fallen into the best company But perhaps it is for want of that delicacy in my own mind which you are speaking of
Were we men my Lord to value women and to let it be known that we do for those qualities which are principally valuable in the sex the less estimable if they would not be reformed would shrink out of our company into company more suitable to their taste and we should never want objects worthy of our knowledge, and even of our admiration to associate with There is a kind of magnetism in goodness Bad people will indeed find out bad people and confederate with them in order to keep one another in countenance but they are bound together by a rope of sand while trust confidence love sympathy and a reciprocation of beneficent actions twist a cord which ties good men to good men and cannot be easily broken
I have never had these notions cousin and yet they are good ones I took people as I found them and
to own the truth meaning to serve myself rather than anybody else I never took pains to look out for worthy attachments The people I had to do with had the same views upon me as I had upon them and thus I went on in a state of hostility with all men mistrusting and guarding as well as I could and not doubting that every man I had to do with would impose upon me if I placed a confidence in him But as to this Miss Byron nephew I shall never rest till I see her—Pray what is her fortune They tell me it is not above 15000l —What is that to the offers you have had made you
Just then we were told dinner was on the table
I am wishing for an inclination to rest but it flies me The last Letter from Beauchamp dated from Bologna as well as those from the Bishop afflict me Why have I such a feeling heart Were the unhappy situation of affairs there owing to my own enterprizing spirit I should deserve the pain it gives me But I should be too happy had I not these withoutdoor perplexities as I may call them to torment me Thank God that they arise not from within tho they make themselves too easy a passage to my heart
My paper is written out If I am likely to find a drowsy moment I shall welcome its approach If not I will rise and continue my subject
Sunday Mar 19
I HAVE had two happy hours of forgetfulness I could not tho I tried for it prevail for more And I will continue my subject
After dinner every attendant being dismissed my Lord making me first see that nobody was listening n the passages began as follows
I am determined nephew to part with this Giffard She is the plague of my life I would have done it half a year ago on an occasion that I will not mention to you because you would despise me if I did for my weakness And now she wants to bring in upon me a sister of hers and her husband and to part with two other worthy folks that I know love me but of whom for that reason she is jealous and then they would divide me among them For this man and his wife have six children all of whom of late make an appearance that cannot be honestly supported
And have you any difficulty my Lord in parting with her but what arises from your own want of resolution
The most insolent devil that ever was about a man at one time and the most whining at another Dont despise me nephew you know I have taken her as—You know what I mean—
I understand you my Lord
But say you dont despise me Sir Charles Grandison As I hope to live I am half afraid of you
My pity my Lord where I see compunction is stronger than my censure
That is well said—Now I agreed with this woman in a weak moment and she has held me to it to give her an annuity of 150l for life which was to be made up 250l if I parted with her without her consent and here we have been for several months plaguing one another, whether I shall turn her out of the house or she will leave me For she has told me that she will not stay unless I take in her sister and brother yet will not go because she will then have no more than the 150l a year And that is too much for her deserts for these two years past
Your Lordship sees the inconveniencies of this way of life and I need not mention to you how
much happier that state is which binds a man and woman together by interest as well as by affection if discretion be not forgotten in the choice But let me express my surprize that your Lordship who has so ample an estate and no child should seem to value your peace of mind at so low a rate as 100l a year
I will not let her go away with such a triumph She has not deserved from me—
Pray my Lord was she of reputation when you took her
She was a widow—
But was her character tolerable in the eye of the world She might be a greater object of pity for being a widow
My gouty disorders made me want a woman about me I hated menfellows—
Well my Lord this regards your motive But have you any previous or later incontinence to charge her with
I cant say I have Her cursed temper would frighten rather than invite Lovers I heard it was no good one but it broke not out to me till within these two years
Your Lordship surely must not dispute the matter with her If you are determined to part with her give her the 250l a year and let her go
To reward a cursed woman for misbehaviour—I cannot do it
Give me leave to say that your Lordship has deserved some punishment Give her the annuity not as a reward to her but as a punishment to yourself
You hurt my sore place nephew
Consider my Lord that 250l a year for life or even for ever is a poor price for the reputation of a woman with whom a man of your quality and fortune condescended to enter into treaty Every quarterly payment must strike her to the heart if she live to have compunction seize her when she thinks that she
is receiving for subsistence the wages of her shame Be that her punishment You intimate that she has so behaved herself that she has but few friends Part with her without giving her cause of complaint that may engage pity for her if not friends at your expence A woman who has lost her reputation will not be regardful of yours Suppose she sue you for nonperformance of covenants Would your Lordship appear to such a prosecution You cannot be capable of pleading your privilege on such a prosecution as would otherwise go against you You cannot be in earnest to part with this woman she cannot have offended you beyond forgiveness if you scruple 100l a year to get rid of her
He servently swore that he was in earnest and added I am resolved nephew to marry and live honest
He looked at me as if he expected that I should be surprised
I believe I could not change countenance on such an hint as this You have come to a good resolution my Lord and if you marry a prudent woman your Lordship will find the difference in your own reflexions as well as in your reputation and interest And shall the difference of 100l a year—Dont let me say that I am ashamed for my Lord W
I knew that you would despise me Sir Charles
I know my Lord that I should despise myself were I not to deal freely with you in this respect Indeed my Lord you have not had so good reason forgive me to think hardly of my fathers spirit as you had to correct your own
I cannot bear this nephew He looked displeased
You must not be angry my Lord I will not bear anger from any man breathing and keep him company who consulting me shall be displeased with me for speaking my mind with freedom and sincerity
What a man am I talking to—Well rid me of this torment You have spirit nephew and nobody can reproach you with acting contrary to your own principles and I will for ever love you But talk to her I hardly dare She whimpers and sobs and threatens by turns and I cannot bear it—Once she was going to tie herself up—Would to God I had not prevented her—And then O my folly we went on again
My good Dr Bartlett I was ashamed of my uncle But you see what an artful as well as insolent woman this is What solly is there in wickedness Folly encounters with folly or how could it succeed so often as it does—Yet my mothers brother to wish he had suffered a creature with whom he had been familiar to destroy herself—I could hardly bear him Only that I thought it would be serving both wretches and giving both a chance for repentance or I should not have kept my seat—But we see in my mother and in her brother how habitual wickedness debases and how habitual goodness exalts the human mind In their youth they were supposed nearer an equality in their understandings and attainments than in their maturity when occasion called out into action their respective talents But perhaps the brother was not the better man for the uninterrupted prosperity that attended him and for having never met with check or controul whereas the most happily married woman in the world must have a will to which she must sometimes resign her own What a glory to a good woman must it be who can not only resign her will but make so happy an use of her resignation as my mother did
My Lord repeated his request that I would talk with the woman and that directly
I withdrew and sent for her accordingly
She came to me out of breath with passion and as I thought partly with apprehension for what her own behaviour might be before me
I see Mrs Giffard said I that you are in great emotion I am desired to talk with you a task I am not very fond of But you will find nothing but civility such as is due to you for your sexs sake from me Calm therefore your mind I will see you again in a few moments
I took a turn and soon came back Her face looked not quite so bloated and she burst into tears She began to make a merit of her services her care her honesty and then inveighed against my Lord for the narrowness of his spirit She paid some compliments to me and talked of being ashamed to appear before me as a guilty creature introductory to what she was prepared to say of her sacrifices the loss of her good name and the like on which with respect to my Lord and his ingratitude to her as she called it she laid great stress
I am never displeased my dear friend with the testimony which the most profligate women bear to the honour of virtue when they come to set a value upon their departure from it
You have it not to say Mrs Giffard that my Lord betrayed seduced or deceived you I say not this so much for reproach as for justicesake and not to suffer you to deceive yourself and to load him with greater faults than he has been guilty of You were your own mistress You had no father mother husband to question you or to be offended with you You knew your duty You were treated with as a sole and independent person One hundred and fifty pounds a year Mrs Giffard tho a small price for the virtue of a good woman which is indeed above all price is nevertheless greatly above the price of common service I never seek to palliate faults of a flagrant nature tho it is not my meaning to assront a woman especially and one who supposes herself in distress You must know madam the frail tenure by which you are likely to hold You stipulated
therefore for a provision accordingly The woman who never hoped to be a wife can have no hardships to take the stipulation and once more give herself the opportunity to recover her lost fame This independence my Lord is desirous to give you—
What independence Sir
One hundred and fifty—
Two hundred and fifty Sir if you please—If my Lord thinks fit to dismiss me
My Lord has told me that that was indeed the stipulation but he pleads misbehaviour
I was willing to make a little difficulty of the 100 l a year tho I thought my Lord ought not—And as to misbehaviour Dr Bartlett I hardly know how to punish a woman for that to her keeper Does she not first misbehave to herself and to the laws of God and man And ought a man that brings her to violate her first duties to expect from her a regard to a mere discretionary obligation I would have all these moralists as they affect to call themselves suffer by such libertine principles as cannot be pursued but in violation of the very first laws of morality
Misbehaviour Sir He makes this plea to cover his own baseness of heart I never misbehaved as he calls it till I saw—
Well madam this may lead to a debate that can answer no end I presume you are as willing to leave my Lord as he is to part with you It must be a wretchedness beyond what I can well imagine to live a life of guilt I must not palliate in this case and yet of hatred and animosity with the person who is a partaker in that guilt
I am put upon a very unequal task Sir to talk with you on this subject My Lord will not refuse to see me I hope I know what to say to him
He has requested me to talk with you madam As I told you I am not fond of the task We have all our faults God knows what he will pardon and
what he will punish His pardon however in a great measure depends upon yourself You have health and time to all appearance before you Your future life may be a life of penitence I am no divine madam I would not be thought to preach to you But you have now a prospect opened of future happiness thro your mutual misunderstandings that you never otherwise might have had And let me make an observation to you That where hate or dislike have once taken place of liking the first separation in such a case as this is always the best Affection or esteem between man and woman once forfeited hardly ever is recovered Tell me truth—Dont you as heartily dislike my Lord as he does you
I do Sir—He is—
I will not hear what he is from the mouth of declared prejudice He has his faults One great fault is that which you have been joint partakers in—But if you might would you choose to live together to be torments to each other
I can torment him more than he can me—
Diabolical temper—Woman and I stood up and looked sternly Can you forget to whom you say this—and of whom—Is not Lord W my uncle
This as I intended it should startled her▪She asked my pardon
What a fine hand proceeded I has a Peer of the realm made of it to have this said of him and perhaps had you been in his presence to him by a woman whose courage is founded in his weakness—Let me tell you madam—
She held up her clasped hands—For Gods sake forgive me Sir and stand my friend
An hundred and fifty pounds a year madam is rich payment for any consideration that a woman could give who has more spirit than virtue Had you kept that madam you would tho the daughter of cottagers
have been superior to the greatestman on earth who wanted to corrupt you—But thus far and as a punishment to my Lord for his wilful weakness I will be your friend—Retire from my Lord You shall have 250l a year And as you were not brought up to the expectation of one half of the fortune bestow the hundred a year that was in debate upon young creatures of your sex as an encouragement to them to preserve that chastity which you with your eyes open gave up and with the rest live a life suitable to that disposition and then as my fellowcreature I will wish you happy
She begged leave to withdraw She could not she said stand in my presence I had indeed spoken with warmth She withdrew trembling courtesying mortified and I returned to my Lord
He was very earnest to hear my report I again put it to him Whether he adhered to his resolution of parting with his woman He declared in the affirmative with greater earnestness than before and begged to know if I could manage it that she should go and that without seeing him I cannot bear to see her said he
Bravoes of the Law cowards and cullies to their paramours are these keepers generally I have ever suspected the courage to magnanimity they must be strangers of men who can desy the laws of society I pitied him And believing that it would not be difficult to manage this heroine who had made her weak Lord afraid of her I said Have you a mind my Lord that she shall quit the house this night and before I leave it If you have I think I can undertake that she shall
And can you do this for me If you can you shall be my great Apollo That will indeed make me happy For the moment you are gone she will force herself into my presence and will throw the gout perhaps into my stomach She reproaches me as if she
had been an innocent woman and I the most ungrateful of men For Gods sake nephew release me from her and I shall be happy I would have left her behind me in the country proceeded he but she would come with me She was afraid that I would appeal to you She stands in awe of nobody else You will be my guardian Angel if you will rid me of this plague
Well then my Lord you will leave it to me to do the best I can with her But it cannot be the best on your side for your honours sake if we do her not that justice that the law would or ought to do her In a word my Lord you must forgive me for saying that you shall not resume that dignity to distress this woman which you laid aside when you entered into treaty with her
Well well I refer myself to your management Only this 100l a year—Once again I say it would hurt me to reward a woman for plaguing me And 150l a year is twothirds more than ever she or any of her family were intitled to
The worst and meanest are intitled to justice my Lord and I hope your Lordship will not refuse to perform engagements that you entered into with your eyes open You must not if I take any concern in this affair
Just then the woman sent in to beg the favour of an audience as she called it of me
She addressed me in terms above her education There is something said she in your countenance Sir so terrible and yet so sweet that one must fear your anger and yet hope for your forgiveness when one has offended I was too free in speaking of my Lord to his nephew—And then she made a compliment to my character and told me She would be determined by my pleasure be it what it would
How seldom are violent spirits true spirits When overawed how tame are they generally in their
submission Yet this woman was not without art in hers She saw that displeased as she apprehended I was with her I had given her hopes of the payment of the hundred pounds a year penalty and this made her so acquiescent
I was indeed displeased with you Mrs Giffard and could not from what you said but conclude in your disfavour in justification of my Lords complaints against you
Will you give me leave Sir to lay before you the true state of everything between my Lord and me Indeed Sir you dont know—
When two persons who have lived in familiarity differ the fault is seldom wholly on one side But thus far I judge between you and desire not to hear particulars The man who dispenses with a known duty in such a case as this before us must render himself despicable in the eyes of the very person whom he raises into consequence by sinking his own Chastity is the crown and glory of a woman The most profligate of men love modesty in the sex at the very time they are forming plots to destroy it in a particular object When a woman has submitted to put a price upon her honour she must appear at times despicable in the eyes even of her seducer and when these two break out into animosity ought either to wish to live with the other
Indeed indeed Sir I am struck with remorse I see my error And she put her handkerchief to her eyes and seemed to weep
I proceeded You Mrs Giffard doubted the continuance of my Lords passion You made your terms therefore and proposed a penalty besides My Lord submitted to the terms and by that means secured his right of dismissing you at his pleasure the only conveniency that a man dishonouring himself by despising marriage can think he has Between him and you what remains to be said tho you are both
answerable at a tribunal higher than your own but that you should have separated long ago Yet you would not consent to it You would not leave him at liberty to assert the right he had reserved to himself Strange weakness in him that he would suffer that to depend upon you But one weakness is the parent of another
She then visibly wept
You found it out that you could torment your Lord in an higher degree than he could torment you and how acting upon such principles you have lived together for some time past you have let every one see
She on her knees besought my pardon for the freedom of that expression not from motives of contrition as I apprehend but from those of policy
She was strong enough to raise herself without my assistance She did unbidden on seeing me step backward a pace or two to give her an opportunity to do so and looked very silly and the more for having missed my assisting hand By which I supposed that she had usually better success with my Lord whenever she had prevailed on herself to kneel to him
It is easy my good Dr Bartlett from small crevices to discover day in an artful womans heart Nothing can be weaker in the eye of an observer who himself disdains artifice than a woman who makes artifice her study In such a departure from honest nature there will be such curvings that the eyes the countenance must ever betray the heart while the lips either breaking out into apologies or aiming at reserve confirm the suspicion that all is not right in the mind.
I excuse you Mrs Giffard said I my Lord has deservedly brought much of what has distressed him upon himself But now it is best for you to part My Lord chooses not to see you I would advise you to remove this very afternoon
What Sir and not have my 250l a year
Will you leave the house this night if I give you my word—
For the whole sum Sir—Two hundred and fifty pounds a year Sir
Yes for the whole sum
I will Sir with all my heart and soul Most of my things are in the conntry My Lord came up in a passion to talk with you Sir Two or three bandboxes are all I have here Mr Halden he is my Lords favourite shall go down and see I take nothing but my own—I will trust to your word of honour Sir—and leave for ever the most ungrateful—
Hush Mrs Giffard these tears are tears of passion There is not a female feature at this instant in your face—What a command of countenance It cleared up in a moment I expected it from her A penitent spirit is an humble a broken spirit You shew at present no sign of it
She dropt me a courtesy with such an air tho not designed I believe as shewed that the benefit she was to reap from the advice would not be sudden if ever and immediately repeated her question If she had my honour for the payment of the entire sum—And you dont insist Sir I have poor relations that I shall pay out the hundred a year as you mentioned
You are to do with the whole annuity as you please If your relations are worthy you cannot do better than to relieve their necessities But remember Mrs Giffard that every quarter brings you the wages of iniquity and endeavour at some atonement
The woman could too well bear this severity
Had a finger been sufficient to have made her feel I would not have laid upon her the weight of my whole hand
She assured me that she would leave the house in two hours time and I returned to my Lord and told him so
He got up and embraced me and called me his good Angel I advised him to give his orders to Halden or to whom he thought sit to do her and himself justice as to what belonged to her in the country
But the terms the terms cried my Lord If you have brought me off for 150 l I will adore you
These are the terms You promised to leave them to me You pay no more than 150 l a year for her life till you assure me upon your honour that you chearfully and on mature consideration make it up 250 l
How is that How is that nephew—Then I never shall pay more depend upon it
Nor will I ever ask you
He rubbed his hands forgetting the gout but was remembered by the pain and cried Oh—
But how did you manage it kinsman—I never should have brought her to any-thing. How did you manage it
Your Lordship does not repent her going
He swore that it was the happiest event that could have befallen him I hope said he she will go without wishing to see me Whether she would whine or curse it would be impossible for me to see her and be myself
I believe she will go without desiring to see you perhaps while I am here
Thank God a fair riddance Thank God
But is it possible kinsman that you could bring me off for 150 l a year Tell me truly
It is And I tell your Lordship that it shall cost you no more till you shall know how to value the comfort and happiness of your future life at more than 100 l a year Till then the respect I pay to my mothers brother and the regard I have for his honour will make me chearfully pay the 100 l a year in dispute out of my own pocket
He looked around him his head turning as if on a pivot and at last bursting out into tears and speech together—And is it thus Is it thus you subdue me Is it thus you convince me of my shameful littleness I cannot bear it All that this woman has done to me is nothing to this I can neither leave you nor stay in your presence Leave me leave me for six minutes only—Jesus how shall I bear my own littleness
I arose One word only my Lord When I reenter say not a syllable more on this subject Let it pass as I put it I would part with a greater sum than an hundred a year for the satisfaction of giving to my uncle the tranquillity he has so long wanted in his own house rather than that a person who has had a dependence upon him should think herself intitled to complain of injustice from him
He caught my hand and would have met it with his lips I withdrew it hastily and retired leaving him to recollect himself
When I returned he thrust into my hand a paper and held it there and swore that I should take it If the wretch live ten years nephew said she that will reimburse you if she die sooner the difference is yours And for Gods sake for the sake of your mothers memory dont despise me that is all the favour I ask you No man on earth was ever so nobly overcome By all thats good you shall chalk me out my path Blessed be my sisters memory for giving me such a kinsman The name of Grandison that I ever disliked till now is the first of names And may it be perpetuated to the end of time
He held the paper in my hand till he had done speaking I then opened it and found it to be a bank note of 1000 l I was earnest to return it but he swore so vehemently that he would have it so that I at last acquiesced but declared that I would pay the whole annuity as far as the sum went and this
as well in justice to him as to save him the pain of attending to an affair that must be grievous to him And I insisted upon giving him an acknowlegement under my hand for that sum and to be accountable to him for it as his banker would in the like case
And thus ended this affair The woman went away before me She begged the favour at the door of one word with me My Lord started up at her voice His complexion varied He whipt as nimbly behind the door as if he had no gout in his foot I will not see her said he
I stepped out She complimented thanked me and wept but in the height of her concern would have uttered bitter things against my Lord But I stopped her mouth by telling her that I was to be her paymaster quarterly of the 250 l a year She turned her execrations against her Lord into blessings on me But after all departed with reluctance
Pride and not tenderness was visibly the occasion Could she have secured her whole annuity she would have gratified that pride by leaving her Lord in triumph while she thought her departure would have given him regret But to be dismissed was a disgrace that affected her and gave bitterness to her insolent spirit
MY Lord tho he had acquitted himself on the occasion in such a manner as darted into my mind a little ray of my beloved mothers spirit could not forbear giving way to his habitual littleness when he was assured Giffard was out of the house He called Halden to him who entered with joy in his countenance arising as it came out from the same occasion
and ordered him to make all his domestics happy for what he meanly called his deliverance Asking If there were anybody in the house who loved her Not a single soul said Halden and I am sure that I may venture to congratulate your Lordship in the names of all your servants For she was proud imperious and indeed a tyranness to all beneath her
I then for the first time pitied the woman and should have pitied her still more true as this might in some measure be had she not gone away so amply rewarded For in this little family I looked forward to the family of the State the Sovereign and his ministers How often has a minister who has made a tyrannical use of his power and even some who have not experienced on his dismission the like treatment from those who had they had his power would perhaps have made as bad use of it who in its plenitude were sawning creeping slaves as these servants might be to this mistress of their Lord We read but of one grateful Cromwell in all the superb train of Wolsey when he had fallen into disgrace and yet he had in it hundreds some not ignobly born and all of them less meanly descended than their magnificent master
Halden addressed himself to me as having been the means of making his Lord and his whole houshold happy Let the joy be moderate Halden said I The poor woman might possibly have numbered among her wellwishers she could not have disobliged every body some of those who now will be most forward to load her with obloquy You must not make her too considerable It is best for my Lord as well as for those who loved her not to forget there ever was such a woman except to avoid her faults and to imitate her in what was commendable She boasts of her honesty and management My Lord charges her not with infidelity of any kind
Halden bowed and withdrew
My Lord swore by his soul that I had not my good name for nothing Blessed said he be the name of the Grandisons This last plaudit gratified my pride I need not tell my Dr Bartlett that I have pride the more gratified it as Lord Ws animosity to my father made him out of love with his name
I did not think when my Lord began his story to me that I should so soon have brought about a separation of guilt from guilt But their matual disgusts had prepared the way resentment and pride mingled with avarice on one side and selfinterestedness founded reasonably on a stipulation made and not complied with on the other were all that hindred it from taking place as from themselves A mediator had nothing then to do but to advise an act of justice and so to gild it by a precedent of disinterestedness in himself as should inspire an emulation in a proud spirit that if not then must when passion had subsided have arisen to make all end as it ought
When I found my Lords joy a little moderated I drew my chair near him Well my Lord and now as to your hints of marriage—
Blessed God—Why nephew you overturn me with your generosity Are you not my next of kin And can you give your consent were I to ask it that I should marry
I give you not only my consent as you condescendingly phrase it but my advice to marry
Good God I could not in the like case do thus But nephew I am not a young man
The more need of a prudent a discreet a tender assistant Your Lordship hinted that you liked not menservants about your person in your illness You are often indisposed with the gout Servants will not always be servants when they find themselves of use Infirmity requires indulgence In the very nature of the word and thing indulgence cannot exist with servility between man and wife it may The same interest
unites them Mutual confidence who can enough value the joy the tranquillity at least that results from mutual confidence A man gives his own consequence to the woman he marries and he sees himself respected in the respect paid her She extends his dignity and confirms it There is such a tenderness such an helpfulness such a sympathy in suffering in a good woman that I am always for excusing men in years who marry prudently while I censure for the same reason women in years Male nurses are unnatural creatures There is not such a character that can be respectable Womens sphere is the house and their shiningplace the sick chamber in which they can exert all their amiable and shall I say lenient qualities Marry myLord by all means You are hardly Fifty but were you Seventy and so often indisposed so wealthy no children to repine at a motherinlaw and to render your life or hers uncomfortable by their little jealousies I would advise you to marry The man or woman deserves not to be benefited in the disposition of your affairs that would wish you to continue in the hands of mean people and to rob you of the joys of confidence and the comfort of tender help •rom an equal or from one who deserves to be made your equal in degree Only my Lord marry so as not to defeat your own end Marry not a gay creature who will be sluttering about in public while you are groaning in your chamber and wishing for her presence
Blessings on your heart my nephew Best of men I can bold no longer There was no bearing before your generosity What can I say now—But you must be in earnest
Have you my Lord asked I any Lady in your eye
No said he indeed I have not
I was the better pleased with him that he had not because I was afraid that like our VIIIth Henry he
had some other woman in view which might have made him more uneasy than he would otherwise have been with Giffard For tho it was better that he should marry than live in scandal and a woman of untainted character rather than one who had let the world see that she could take a price for her honour yet I thought him better justified in his complaints of that womans misbehaviour than in the other case he would have been And that it was an happiness to both if a right use were made of the event that they had been unable to live on as they had set out
He told me that he should think himself the happiest of men if I could find out and recommend to him a woman that I thought worthy of his addresses and even would court her for him
Your Lordship ought not to expect fortune
I do not
She should be a gentlewoman by birth and education a woman of a serious turn Such an one is not likely in affluence to run into those scenes of life from which perhaps only want of fortune has restrained the gayer creature I would not have your Lordship fix an age tho I think you should not marry a girl Some women at Thirty are more discreet than others at Forty And if your Lordship should be blessed with a child or two to inherit your great estate that happy event would domesticate the Lady and make your latter years more happy than your former
My Lord held up his hands and eyes and tears seemed to make themselves surrows on his cheeks
He made me look at him by what he said on this occasion and with anger till he explained himself
By my soul said he and clapped his two liftedup hands together I have your father I never heartily loved him but now I hate him more than ever I did in my life
My Lord—
Dont be surprised I hate him for keeping so long abroad a son who would have converted us both Lessons of morality given in so noble a manner by regular practice rather than by preaching theory those were his words not only where there is no interest proposed to be served but against interest must have subdued us both and that by our own consents O my sister and he clasped his hands and lifted up his eyes as if he had the dear object of his brotherly address before him how have you blessed me in your son—
This apostrophe to my mother affected me What a mixture is there in the character of Lord W What a good man might he have made had he been later his own master—His father died before he was of age
He declared that I had described the very wife he wished to have Find out such an one for me my dear kinsman said he and I give you charte blanche But let her not be younger than Fifty Make the settlements for me I am very rich I will sign them blindsold If the Lady be such an one as you say I ought to love I will love her Only let her say she can be grateful for my love and for the provision you shall direct me to make for her and my first interview with her shall be at the altar
I think my friend I have in my eye such a woman as my Lord ought to do very handsome things for if she condescend to have him I will not tell you not even you whom I mean till I know she will encourage such a proposal and for her own fortunes sake I think she should But I had her not in my thoughts when I proposed to my Lord the character of the woman he should wish for
Adieu my dear friend
Tuesday Mar 21
DR Bartlett went to town yesterday He returned early enough to breakfast with us He found at dinner with his patron the whole Danby family and Mr Sylvester as also the two masters of the young gentlemen with Mr Galliard whose son is in love with Miss Danby and she with him There all the parties had confirmed to them the generous goodness of Sir Charless of which he had assured Mr Sylvester and the two brothers and sister before
I am sorry methinks the doctor went to town We should otherwise perhaps have had the particulars of all from the pen of the benevolent man Such joy such admiration such gratitude the doctor says were expressed from every mouth that his own eyes as well as Mr Sylvesters and most of those present more than once were ready to overflow
Every thing was there settled and even a match proposed by Sir Charles and the proposal received with approbation on both sides between the elder Miss Galliard and that audacious young man the drugmerchant who recovered by his behaviour in this meeting his reputation with Sir Charles and everybody
The doctor says that Mr Hervey and Mr Poussin the two masters of the young gentlemen are very worthy men so is Mr Galliard And they behaved so handsomely on the occasion that Sir Charles expressed himself highly pleased with them all For Mr Hervey and Mr Galliard offered to accept of less money than Sir Charles made the young people worth the one for a portion with Miss Danby the other for
admitting the elder Danby into a partnership with him on his marriage with his niece But Sir Charles had no notion he said of putting young men of good characters and abilities to difficulties at their entrance into the world The greatest expences he observed were then incurred In slight or scanty beginnings scanty plans must be laid and pursued Mr Galliard then declared that the younger Danby should have the handsomer fortune with his daughter if she approved of him for the very handsome one Miss Danby would carry to his son
Sir Charless example in short fired every one with emulation and three marriages with the happiest prospects are likely very soon to follow these noble instances of generosity Mr Sylvester proposed the celebration on one day In that case the gentlemen joined to hope Sir Charles would honour them with his presence He assentingly bowed How many families are here at once made happy
Dr Bartlett after he had given us this relation, said on our joining in one general blessing of his patron You know not Ladies you know not my Lord what a general Philanthropist your brother is His whole delight is in doing good It has always been so And to mend the hearts as well as fortunes of men is his glory
We could not but congratulate the doctor on his having so considerable a hand as Sir Charles always Lord L said delighted to own in cultivating his innate good principles at so critical a time of life as that was in which they became acquainted
The doctor very modesty received the compliment and to wave our praises gave us another instance of the great manner in which Sir Charles conferred benefits as follows
He once said the doctor when his fortune was not what it now is lent a very honest man a merchant of Leghorn when he resided there as he did sometimes
for a month or two together for the conveniency of the English chapel a considerable sum and took his bond for it After a while things not answering to the poor mans expectation Mr Grandison took notice to me said the doctor that he appeared greatly depressed and dejected and occasionally came into his company with such a sense of obligation in his countenance and behaviour that he could not bear it And why said he should I keep it in my power to distress a man whose modesty and diffidence shew that he deserves to be made easy—I may die suddenly My executors may think it but justice to exact payment And that exaction may involve him in as great difficulties as those were from which the loan delivered him—I will make his heart light Instead of suffering him to sigh over his uncertain prospects at his board or in his bed I will make both his board and his bed easy to him His wife and his five children shall rejoice with him they shall see the good mans countenance as it used to do shine upon them and occasionally meet mine with grateful comfort
He then cancelled the bond And at the same time fearing the mans distress might be deeper than he owned offered him the loan of a further sum But by his behaviour upon it I found said Mr Grandison that the sum he owed and the doubt he had of being able to pay it in time were the whole of the honest mans grievance He declined with gratitude the additional offer and walked ever after erect
He is now living and happy proceeded the doctor and just before Mr Grandison left Italy would have made him some part of payment from the happier turn in his affairs which probably was owing to his revived spirits But Mr Grandison asked What he thought he meant when he cancelled the obligation—Yet he told him that it was not wrong in him to make the tender For free minds he said loved not to be ungenerously dealt with
What a man is this Lucy
No wonder thus gloriously employed with my Lord W and the Danbys said Lord L and perhaps in other acts of goodness that we know nothing of besides the duties of his executorship that we are deprived of his company But some of these as he has so good a friend as Dr Bartlett he might transfer to him—and oblige us more with his presence and the rather as he declares it would be obliging himself
Ah my Lord said the doctor and looked round him his eyes dwelling longest on me—You dont know—He stopped We all were silent He proceeded—Sir Charles Grandison does nothing without reason A good man must have difficulties to encounter with that a meer man of the world would not be embarrassed by—But how I engage your attention Ladies—
The doctor arose for breakfast was over—Dear doctor said Miss Grandison dont leave us—As to that Bologna that Camilla that Bishop—Tell us more of them dear doctor
Excuse me Ladies excuse me my Lord He bowed and withdrew
How we looked at one another! How the fool in particular blushed How her heart throbbed—At what—
But Lucy give me your opinion—Dr Bartlett guesses that I am far from being indifferent to Sir Charles Grandison He must be assured that my own heart must be absolutely void of benevolence if I did not more and more esteem Sir Charles for his And would Dr Bartlett be so cruel as to contribute to a flame that perhaps is with difficulty kept from blazing out as one hears new instances of his generous goodness if he knew that Sir Charles Grandison was so engaged as to render it impossible—What shall I say—O this cruel cruel suspense—What hopes what fears what contradictory conjectures
—But all will too soon perhaps—Here he is come—Sir Charles Grandison is come—
O no—A false alarm—He is not come It is only my Lord L returned from an airing
I could beat this girl this Emily—It was owing to her—A chit—How we have fluttered each other—But send for me down to Northamptonshire my dear friends before I am quite a fool
PRAY—Do you know Lucy What is the business that calls Mr Deane to town at this season of the year He has made a visit to Sir Charles Grandison For Dr Bartlett told me as a grateful compliment that Sir Charles was much pleased with him yet Mr Deane did not tell me that he designed it I beseech you my dear friends—Do not—But you would not you could not—I would be torn in pieces I would not accept of—I dont know what I would say Only add not disgrace to distress—But I am safe if nothing be done but at the motion of my grandmamma and aunt Selby They would not permit Mr Deane or anybody to make improper visits—But dont you think that it must look particular to Sir Charles to have a visit paid him by a man expressing for me so much undeserved tenderness and affection so long after the affair was over which afforded him a motive for it—I dread as much for Mr Deans sake as my own everything that may be construed into officiousness or particularity by so nice a discerner Does he not say that no man is more quicksighted than himself to those saults in women which are owing to want of delicacy
I have been very earnest with Lord and Lady L and Miss Grandison that they do not suffer their friendship for me to lay me under any difficulties with their brother They all took my meaning and promised to consult my punctilio as well as my inclination Miss Grandison was more kindly in earnest
in her assurances of this nature than I was afraid she would be And my Lord said It was fit that I should find even niceness gratified in this particular
I absolutely confide in you Lucy to place hooks where I forget to put them and where in your delicate mind you think I ought to put them that they may direct your eye when you come to read out before my uncle to omit those passages which very few men have delicacy or seriousness enough to be trusted with Yet a mighty piece of sagacity to find out a girl of little more than Twenty in Love as it is called and to make a jest of her for it—But I am peevish as well as saucy—This also goes between hooks
Adieu my Dear
Monday Night Mar 20
I AM very much dissatisfied with myself my dear Dr Bartlett What pains have I taken to conquer those sudden gusts of passion to which from my early youth I have been subject as you have often heard me confess yet to find at times that I am unequal—to myself shall I say—To myself I will say since I have been so much amended by your precepts and example But I will give you the occasion
My guests and you had but just left me when the wretched Jervois and her O Hara and another bullying man desired to speak with me
I bid the servant shew the woman into the drawingroom next my study and the men into the adjoining parlour but they both followed her into the drawing room I went to her and after a little stiff civility I could not help it asked If these gentlemen had business with me
That gentleman is Major OHara Sir He is my husband That gentleman is Captain Salmonet He is the Majors brotherinlaw He is an officer of equal worth and bravery
They gave themselves airs of importance and familiarity and the Major motioned as if he would have taken my hand
I encouraged not the motion Will you gentlemen walk this way
I led the way to my study The woman arose and would have come with them
If you please to stay where you are madam I will attend you presently
They entered and as if they would have me think them connoisseurs began to admire the globes the orrery the pictures and busts
I took off that sort of attention—Pray gentlemen what are your commands with me
I am called Major OHara Sir I am the husband of the Lady in the next room as she told you
And what pray Sir have I to do either with you or your marriage I pay that Lady as the widow of Mr Jervois 200l a year I am not obliged to pay her more then one She has no demands upon me much less has her husband
The men had so much the air of bullies and the woman is so very wicked that my departed friend and the name by which she so lately called the poor Emily were in my head and I had too little command of my temper
Look ye Sir Charles Grandison I would have you to know—
And he put his left hand upon his swordhandle pressing it down which tilted up the point with an air extremely insolent
What am I to understand by that motion Sir
Nothing at all Sir Charles—Dn me if I mean any thing by it—
You are called Major you say Sir—Do you bear the kings commission Sir
I have borne it Sir if I do not now
That and the house you are in give you a title to civility But Sir I cannot allow that your marriage with the Lady in the next room gives you pretence to business with me If you have on any other account pray let me know what it is
The man seemed at a loss what to say but not from bashfulness He looked about him as if for his woman set his teeth bit his lip and took snuff with an air so like defiance that for fear I should not be able to forbear taking notice of it I turned to the other Pray Captain Salmonet said I what are your commands with me
He spoke in broken English and said He had the honour to be Major OHaras brother He had married the Majors sister
And why Sir might you not have favoured me with the company of all your relations—Have you any business with me Sir on your own account
I come I come said he to see my brother righted Sir—
Who has wronged him—Take care gentlemen how—But Mr OHara what are your pretensions
Why lookye Sir Charles Grandison throwing open his coat and sticking one hand in his side the other thrown out with a flourish Lookye Sir repeated he—
I found my choler rising I was afraid of my self
When I treat you familiarly Sir then treat me so Till when please to withdraw—
I rang Frederick came in
Shew these gentleman into the little parlour—You will excuse me Sirs I attend the Lady
They muttered and gave themselves brisk and angry airs nodding their heads at each other but followed the servant into that parlour
I went to Mrs OHara as she calls herself
Well madam what is your business with me now
Where are the gentlemen Sir Where is my husband
They are both in the next room and within hearing of all that shall pass between you and me
And do you hold them unworthy of your presence Sir
Not madam while you are before me and if they had any business with me or I with them
Has not an husband business where his wife is
Neither wife nor husband has business with me
Yes Sir I am come to demand my daughter I come to demand a mothers right
I answer not to such a demand You know you have no right to make it
I have been at Colnebrooke She was kept from me My child was carried out of the house that I might not see her
And have you then terrified the poor girl
I have left a Letter for her and I expect to see her upon it—Her new father as worthy and as brave a man as yourself Sir longs to see her—
Her new father madam—You expect to see her madam—What was your behaviour to her unnatural woman the last time you saw her But if you do see her it must be in my presence and without your man if he form pretensions on your account that may give either her or me disturbance
You are only Sir to take care of her fortune so I am advised I as her mother have the natural right over her person The Chancery will give it to me
Then seek your remedy in Chancery Let me never hear of you again but by the officers of that cour•
I opened the door leading into the room where the two men were
They are not officers I dare say Common men of the town I doubt not newdressed for the occasion OHara as she calls him is probably one of her temporary husbands only
Pray walk in gentlemen said I This Lady intimates to me that she will apply to Chancery against me The Chancery if she have any grievance will be a proper recourse She can have no business with me after such a declaration—Much less can either of you
And opening the drawingroom door that led to the hall Frederick said I attend the lady and the gentlemen to their coach
And I turned from them to go into my study
The Major as he was called asked me with a fierce air his hand on his sword If this were treatment due to gentlemen
This house in which however you are an intruder Sir is your protection or that motion and that air if you mean any-thing by either would cost you dear
I am Sir the protector of my wife You have insulted her Sir—
Have I insulted your wife Sir—And I stepped up to him but just in time recovered myself remembering where I was—Take care Sir—But you are safe here—Frederick wait upon the gentlemen to the door—
Frederick was not in hearing The wellmeaning man apprehending consequences went it seems into the offices to get together some of his fellowsersants
Salmonet putting himself into violent motion▪ swore that he would stand by his friend his brother▪ to the last drop of his blood and in a posture of offence drew his sword half way
I wish friend said I but could hardly contain myself that I were in your house instead of your
being in mine —But if you would have your sword broken over your head draw it quite
He did with a vapour D—n him he said if he bore that My own house on such an insult as this should not be my protection and retreating he put himself into a posture of defence
Now Major Now Major said the wi•ked woman
Her Major also drew making wretched grimaces
I was dressed I knew not but the men were assassins I drew put by Salmonets sword closed with him disarmed him and by the same effort laid him on the floor
OHara skipping about as if he watched for an opportunity to make a push with safety to himself lost his sword by the usual trick whereby a man anything skilled in his weapons knows how sometimes to disarm a less skilful adversary
The woman screamed and ran into the hall
I turned the two men first one then the other out of the room with a contempt that they deserved and Frederick Richard and Jerry who by that time were got together in the hall a little too roughly perhaps turned them into the Square
They limped into the coach they came in The woman in terror was already in it When they were also in it they cursed swore and threatened
The pretended Captain putting his body halfway out of the coach bid my servants tell me That I was—That I was—And avoiding a worse name as it seemed No Gentleman and that he would find an opportunity to make me repent the treatment I had given to men of honour and to a Lady
The Major in eagerness to say something by way of resentment and menace likewise—beginning with damning his blood—had his intended threatening cut short by meeting the Captains head with his as •he other in a rage withdrew it after his sp•ech to the
servant And each cursing the other one rubbing his forehead the other putting his hand to his head away drove the coach
They forgot to ask for their swords and one of them left his hat behind him
You cannot imagine my dear Dr Bartlett how much this idle affair has disturbed me I cannot forgive myself—To suffer myself to be provoked by two such men to violate the sanction of my own house Yet they came no doubt to bully and provoke me or to lay a foundation for a demand that they knew if personally made must do it
My only excuse to myself is That there were two of them and that tho I drew yet I had the command of myself so far as only to defend myself when I might have done any thing with them I have generally found that those who are the readiest to give offence are the unfittest when brought to the test to support their own insolence
But my Emily my poor Emily How must she be terrified—I will be with you very soon Let not her know any-thing of this idle affair nor anybody but Lord L
Tuesday Morning
I HAVE just parted with one Blagrave an attorney who already had been ordered to proceed against me But out of regand to my character and having as he owned▪ no great opinion of his clients he thought fit to come to me in person to acquaint me of it and to inform himself from me of the whole affair
The gentlemans civility intitled him to expect an account of it I gave it him
He told me That if I pleased to restore the swords and the hat by him▪ and would promise not to stop the future quarterly payments of the 200 l a year about which they were very apprehensive he dared to say that after such an exertion of spirit as he called a choleric excess I should not hear any more
of them for one while since he believed they had only been trying an experiment which had been carried farther he dared to say than they had designed it should
He hinted his opinion that the men were common men of the town and that they had never been honoured with commissions in any service
The woman I know not by what name to call her since it is very probable that she has not a real title to that of OHara was taken out of the coach in violent hysterics as OHara told him who in consulting Mr Blagrave may be supposed to aggravate matters in order to lay a foundation for an action of damages
She accused the men of cowardice before Mr Blagrave and that in very opprobrious terms
They excused themselves as being loth to hurt me which they said they easily could have done especially before I drew
They both pretended to Mr Blagrave personal damages but I hope their hurts are magnified
I am however that be most hurt for I am not at all pleased with myself They possibly tho they have no cause to be satisfied with their parts in the sray have been more accustomed to such scuf•les than I and are above or rather beneath all punctilio
Mr Blagrave took the swords and the hat with him in the coach that waited for him
If I thought it would not have looked like a compromise and encouraged their insolence I co ld freely have sent them more than what belonged to hem I am really greatly hurt by the part I acted to such men
As to the annuity I bid Mr Blagrave tell the woman that the payment of that depended upon her future good behaviour and yet that I was not •ure that she was intitled to it but as the widow of my friend
However I told this gentleman That no provocation
should hinder me from doing strict justice tho I were sure that they would go to law with the money I should cause to be paid to them quarterly You will therefore know Sir added I that the fund which they have to depend upon to support a law-suit should they commence one and think fit to employ in it so honest a man as you seem to be is 100 l a year It would be madness if not injustice to pay the other 100 l for such a purpose when it was left to my discretion to pay it or not with a view to discourage that litigious spirit which is one of an hundred of this poor womans bad qualities
And thus for the present stands this affair I look upon my trouble from this woman as over till some new scheme arises either among these people or from others whom she may consult or employ You and I when I have the happiness to attend you and my other friends will not renew the subject
I am c CHARLES GRANDISON
Colnebrooke Wedn Mar 22
SIR Charles arrived this morning just as we had assembled to breakfast for Lady L is not an early riser The moment he entered sunshine broke out in the countenance of every one
He apologized to all but me for his long absence especially when they had such a guest were his words bowing to me and I thought he sighed and looked with tender regard upon me but I dared not ask Miss Grandison whether she saw any thing particular in his devoirs to me
It was owing to his politeness I presume that he did not include me in his apologies because that
would have been to suppose that I had expected him Indeed I was not displeased in the main that he did not compliment me as a third sister See Lucy what little circumstances a doubtful mind will sometimes dwell upon
I was not pleased that he had been so long absent and had my thoughts to myself upon it inclining once to have gone back to London and perhaps should could I have sansied myself of importance enough to make him uneasy by it The sex the sex Lucy will my uncle say but I pretend not to be above its little foibles But the moment I saw him all my disgusts were over After the Anderson the Danby the Lord W affairs he appeared to me in a much more shining light than an hero would have done returning in a triumphal car covered with laurels and dragging captive princes at its wheels How much more glorious a character is that of The Friend of Mankind than that of The Conqueror of Nations
He told me that he paid his compliments yesterday to Mr and Mrs Reeves He mentioned Mr Deanes visit to him and said very kind but just things in his praise I read not any thing in his eyes or manner that gave me uneasiness on the visit that other good man made him
My dear Emily sat generously uneasy I saw for the trouble she had been the cause of giving to her best friend tho she knew not of a visit that her mother and OHara and Salmonet made her guardian on Monday as the doctor had hinted to us without giving us particulars
Sir Charles thanked me for my goodness as he called it in getting the good girl so happily out of her mothers way as his Emily would have been too much terrified to see her And he thanked Lord L for his tenderness to his ward on that occasion
My Lord gave him the Letter which Mrs Jervois had left for her daughter Sir Charles presented it to
the young Lady without looking into it She instantly returned it to him in a very graceful manner We will read it together byandby my Emily said he Dr Bartlett tells me there is tenderness in it
The doctor made apologies to him for having communicated to us some of his Letters—Whatever Dr Bartlett does said Sir Charles must be right But what say my sisters to my proposal of correspondence with them
We should be glad replied Lady L to see all you write to Dr Bartlett but could not undertake to write you Letter for Letter
Why so
Miss Byron said Miss Grandison has put us quite out of heart as to the talent of narrative Letterwriting
I should be greatly honoured with a sight of such Letters of Miss Byron as you my Lord have seen Will Miss Byron applying to me favour one brother and exclude another
Brother Lucy I thought he was not at that time quite so handsome a man as when he first entered the room
I was silent and blushed I knew not what answer to make yet thought I should say something
May we Sir Charles said Miss Grandison hope for a peru•al of your Letters to Dr Bartlett for the same number of weeks past Letter for Letter if we could prevail on Miss Byron to consent to the proposal
Would Miss Byron consent upon that condition
What say you Miss Byron said my Lord
I answered that I could not presume to think that the little chitchat which I wrote to please my partial friends in the country could appear tolerable in the eye of Sir Charles Grandison
They all answered with high encomiums on my pen and Sir Charles in the most respectful manner
insisting upon not being denied to see what Lord L had perused and Miss Grandison having said that I had to oblige them been favoured with the return of my Letters from the country I thought it would look like a too meaning particularity if I refused to oblige him in the light tho not a very agreeable one I own to you Lucy of another brother I told him that I would shew him very willingly and without condition all the Letters I had written of the narrative kind from my first coming to London down to the dreadful masquerade affair and even Sir Hargraves barbarous treatment of me down to the deliverance he had so generously given me
How did he extol me for what he called my noble frankness of heart In that grace he said I excelled all the women he had ever conversed with He assured me that he would not wish to see a line that I was not willing he should see and that if he came to a word or passage that he could suppose would be of that nature it should have no place in his memory
Miss Grandison called out—But the condition Sir Charles—
Is only this replied I I am sure of your candor Sir that you will correct me where I am wrong in any of my notions or sentiments I have been very pert and forward in some of my Letters particularly in a dispute that was carried on in relation to Learning and Languages If I could not for improvement sake more heartily bespeak your correction than your approbation I should be afraid of your eye there
Excellent Miss Byron Beauty shall not bribe me on your side if I think you wrong in any point that you submit to my judgment And if I am Beautyproof I am sure nothing on earth can biass me
Miss Grandison said she would number the Letters according to their dates and then would give them to me that I might make such conditions with
her brother on the loan as every one might be the b•tter for
BREAKFAST being over Miss Grandison renewed the talk of the visit made here by Mrs OHara on Sunday last Miss Jervois very prettily expressed her grief for the trouble given her guardian by her unhappy mother He drew her to him as he fat with looks of tenderness and called her his dear Emily and told her she was the Child of his compassion You are called upon my dear said he young as you are to a glorious trial and hitherto you have shone in it I wish the poor woman would be but half as much the mother as you would be the child But let us read her Letter
His goodness overwhelmed her He took her mothers Letter out of his pocket She stood before him drying her eyes and endeavouring to suppress her emotion And when he had unfolded the Letter he put his arm round her waist Surely Lucy he is the tenderest as well as bravest of men What would I give for a picture drawn but with half the life and love which shone out in his looks as he cast his eyes now on the Letter and now up to his Emily—Poor woman said he two or three times as he read And when he had done You must read it my dear said he there is the mother in it We will acknowlege the mother whereever we can find her
Why did not the dear girl throw her arms about his neck just then—She was ready to do so O my best of guardians said she and it was plain was but just restrained by virgin modesty from doing so her hands caught back as it were and resting for a moment on his shoulder And she looked as much abashed as if she had not checked herself
I took more notice of this her grateful motion than anybody else I was affected with the beautiful check and admired her for it
And must I Sir would you have me read it I will retire to my chamber with it
He arose took her hand and coming with her to me put it into mine Be so good madam to fortify this worthy childs heart by your prudence and judgment while she reads the mother in the only instance that I have ever known it visible in this unhappy woman
He bowed and gave me the Letter I was proud of his compliment and Emily and I withdrew into the next room and there the good girl read the Letter but it was long in reading her tears often interrupting her And more than once as wanting a refuge she threw her arms about my neck in silent grief
I called her twenty tender names but I could not say much What could I The Letter in some places affected me It was the Letter of a mother who seemed extremely sensible of hardships Her guardian had promised observations upon it I knew not then all the unhappy womans wickedness I knew not but the husband might be in some fault—What could I say I could not think of giving comfort to a daughter at the expence of even a bad mother
Miss Grandison came to us She kissed the sobbing girl and with tenderness calling us her two loves led us into the next room
Sir Charles it seems had owned in our absence that Mr and Mrs OHara and Captain Salmonet had made him a visit in town on their return from Colnebrooke and expressed himself to be vexed at his own behaviour to them
Miss Jervois gave the Letter to her guardian and went behind his chair on the back of which she leaned while he looked into the Letter and made observations upon what he read as nearly in the following words as I can remember
An unhappy mother whose fau ts have been barbarously
aggravated —My Emilys father was an indulgent husband He forgave this unhappy woman crimes which very few men would have forgiven She was the wife of his choice He doted on her His first forgiveness of an atrocious crime hardened her
When he could not live with her he removed from place to place to avoid her At last afraid of her private machinations which were of the blackest nature he went abroad in order to pursue that traffick in person which he managed to great advantage by his agents and factors having first however made an handsome provision for his wife
Thither after some time passed in riot and extravagance she followed him
I became acquainted with him at Florence I found him to be a sensible and honest man and every one whom he could serve or assist experienced his benevolence Not a single soul who knew him but loved him this wife excepted
She at that time insisted upon his giving up to her management his beloved Emily and solemnly promised reformation on his compliance She knew that the child would be a great fortune
I was with Mr Jervois on her first visit to him at Leghorn and tho I had heard her character to be very bad was inclined to befriend her She was specious I hoped that a mother whatever wife she made could not out be a mother and poor Mr Jervois had not been forward to say the worst of her But she did not long save appearances The whole English factory at Leghorn were witnesses to her flagrant enormities She was addicted to an excess that left her no guard and made her a stranger to that grace which is the glory of a woman
I am told that she is less frequently intoxicated than heretofore I should be glad of the least shadow of reformation in her That odias vice led her int
every other and hardened her to a sense of shame Other vices perhaps at first wanted that to introduce them but the most flagitious have been long habitual to her
Nothing but the justice due to the character of my departed friend could have induced me to say what I have said of this unhappy woman Forgive me my Emily But shall I not defend your father—I have not said the worst I could say of his wise
Yet she writes That her faults have been barbarously aggravated in order to justify the ill usage of an husband who she says was not saultless Ill usage of an husband Wretched woman She knew I must see this Letter How could she write thus She knows that I have authentic proofs in my custody of his unexceptionable goodness to her and confessions under her own hand of her guilt and ingratitude to him
But my Emily—and he arose and took her hand her face over whelmed with tears You may rejoice in your fathers character He was a good man in every sense of the word With regard to her he had but one fault and that was his indulgence—Shall I say That after repeated elopements after other men had cast her off he took her back When she had forfeited his love his pity operated in her favour and she was hardened enough to despise the man who could much more easily forgive than punish her I am grieved to be obliged to say this but repeat that the memory of my friend must not be unjustly loaded Would to heaven that I could suggest the shadow of a plea that would extenuate any part of her vileness either respecting him or herself let whosesoever character suffer by it I would suggest it How often has this worthy husband wept to me for those faults of his wife for which she could not be sorry
I discourage not these tears my Emily on what you have heard me say but let me now dry them up
He took her own handkerchief and tenderly wiped her cheeks It is unnecessary proceeded he to say any-thing farther at this time in defence of your fathers character we come now to other parts of the Letter that will not I hope be so affecting to the heart of a good child
She insists upon your making her a visit or receiving one from her She longs she says to see you to lay you in her bosom She congratulates you on your improvements She very pathetically calls upon you not to despise her—
My dear girl You shall receive her visit She shall name her place for it provided I am present I shall think it a sign of her amendment if she is really capable of rejoicing in your improvements I have always told you that you must distinguish between the crime and the mother The one is intitled to your pity the other calls for your abhorrence—Do you choose my dear to see your mother—I hope you do Let not even the faulty have cause to complain of unkindness from us There are faults that must be left to heaven to punish and against the consequences of which it behoves us only to guard for our own sakes I hope you are in a safe protection and have nothing to fear from her You are guarded therefore Can my Emily forget the terrors of the last interview and calmly in my presence kneel to her mother
Whatever you command me to do I will do
I would have you answer this Letter Invite her to the house of your guardian—I think you should not go to her lodgings Yet if you incline to see her there and she insists upon it I will attend you
But Sir must I own her husband for my father
Leave that to me my dear Little things punctilios are not to be stood upon Pride shall have no concern with us But I must first be satisfied that the man and she are actually married Who knows if they are but his dependence on her annuity and the
protection she may hope for from him may make it convenient to both to live in a more creditable manner than hitherto she has aimed to do If she save but appearances for the future it will be a point gained
I will in everything Sir do as you would have me
One thing my dear I think I will advise If they are really married if there be any prospect of their living tolerably together you shall if you please your fortune is very large make them an handsome present and give hope that it will be an annual one if the man behave with civility to your mother She complains that she is made poor and dependent Poor if she be it is her own fault She brought not 200l to your father Ungrateful woman he married her as I hinted for Love With 200l a year well paid she ought not to be poor but dependent she must be Your father would have given her a larger annuity had he not known by experience that it was but strengthening her hands to do mischief and to enable her to be more riotous I found a declaration of this kind among his papers after his death This his intention if there could have been any hope of a good use to be made of it justifies my advice to you to inlarge her stipend I will put it in such a way that you my dear shall have the credit of it and I will take upon myself the advice of restraining it to good behaviour for their own sakes and for yours
O Sir how good you are You now give me courage to wish to see my poor mother in hopes that it will be in my power to do her good Continue to your Emily the blessing of your direction and I shall be an happy girl indeed O that my mother may be married that so she may be entitled to the best you shall advise me to do for her
I doubt her man is a man of the town added he
but he may have lived long enough to see his follies She may be tired of the life she has led I have made several efforts to do her service but had no hope to reclaim her I wish she may now be a wife in earnest But this I think shall be my last effort—Write my dear but nothing of your intention If she is not married things must remain as they are
She hastened upstairs and very soon returned with the following lines
Madam
I Beseech you to believe that I am not wanting in duty to my mother You rejoice my heart when you tell me that you love me My guardian was so good before I could have time to ask him as to bid me write to you and to let you know that he will himself present me to you whenever you please to favour me with an opportunity to pay my duty to you at his house in St Jamess Square
Let me hope my dear mamma that you will not be so angry with your poor girl as you was last time I saw you at Mrs Lanes and then I will see you with all the duty that a child owes to her mother For I am and will ever be
Your dutiful Daughter EMILIA JERVOIS
Sir Charles generously scrupled the last paragraph We will not I think Emily said he remind a mother who has written such a Letter as that before us of a behaviour that she should be glad to forget
Miss Grandison desired it might stand Who knows says she but it may make her ashamed of her outrageous behaviour at that time
She deserves not generous usage said Lady L she cannot feel it
Perhaps not replied Sir Charles but we should do proper things for our own sakes whether the persons
are capable of feeling them as they ought or not What say you Miss Byron to this last paragraph
I was entirely in his way of thinking and for the reason he gave but the two Ladies having given their opinion in a pretty earnest manner and my Lord saying he thought it might pass I was afraid it would look like bespeaking his favour at their expence if I adopted his sentiments I therefore declined giving my opinion But being willing to keep Emily in countenance who sat suspended in her judgment as one who feared she had done a wrong thing I said it was a very natural paragraph I thought from Miss Jervoiss pen as it was written I dared to say rather in apprehension of hard treatment from what she remembered of the last than in a spirit of recrimination or resentment
The good girl declared it was Both Ladies and my Lord said I had distinguished well But Sir Charles tho he said no more upon the subject looked upon each sister with meaning which I wondered they did not observe Dr Bartlett was withdrawn or I believe he would have had the honesty to speak out which I had not But the point was a point of delicacy and generosity and I thought I should not seem to imagine that I understood it better than they Nor did I think that Sir Charles would have acquiesced with their opinion
Miss Jervois retired to transcribe her letter We all separated to dress and I having soon made an alteration in mine dropt in upon Dr Bartlett in his closet
I am stealing from this good man a little improvement in my geography I am delighted with my tutor and he professes to be pleased with his scholar but sometimes more interesting articles slide in But now he had just began to talk of Miss Jervois as if he would have led I thought to the proposal hinted at by Miss Grandison from the letter she had so clandestinely
seen of my taking her under my care when Sir Charles entered the doctors apartment He would have withdrawn when he saw me but the doctor rising from his chair besought him to oblige us with his company
I was silly I did not expect to be caught there But why was I silly on being found with Dr Bartlett—But let me tell you that I thought Sir Charles himself at first addressing me seemed a little unprepared You invited me in doctor Here I am But if you were upon a subject that you do not pursue I shall look upon myself as an intruder and will withdraw
We had just concluded one subject and were beginning another—I had just mentioned Miss Jervois
Is not Emily a good child Miss Byron said Sir Charles
Indeed Sir she is
We then had some general talk of the unhappy situation she is in from such a mother and I thought some hints would have been given of his desire that she should accompany me down to Northamptonshire and my heart throbbed to think how it would be brought in and how I should behave upon it And the more as I was not to be supposed to have so much as heard of such a designed proposal What would it have done had I been prevailed upon to read the letter But not one word passed leading to that subject
I now begin to fear that he has changed his mind if that was his mind Methinks I am more fond of having the good girl with us than I imagined it was possible I ever could have been What a different appearance have things to us when they are out of our power to what they had when we believed they were in it
But I see not that there is the least likelihood that any-thing, on which you had all set your hearts can happen—I cant help it
Emily flattering girl told me she saw great signs of attachment to me in his eyes and behaviour but I see no grounds for such a surmise His affections are certainly engaged God bless him whatever his engagements are—When he was absent encouraged by his sisters and Lord L I thought pretty well of myself but now he is present, I see so many excellencies shining out in his mind in his air and address that my humility gets the better of my ambition
Ambition did I say Yes ambition Lucy Is it not the nature of the passion we are so foolishly apt to call noble to exalt the object, and to lower if not to debase ones self—You see how Lord W depreciates me on the score of fortune I was loth to take notice of that before because I knew that were slenderness of fortune the only difficulty the partiality of all my friends for their Harriet would put them upon making efforts that I would sooner die than suffer to be made
I forgot the manner in which Lord Ws objection was permitted to go off—But I remember Sir Charles made no attempt to answer it And yet he tells my Lord that fortune is not a principal article with him and that he has an ample estate of his own No question but a mans duties will rise with his opportunities A man therefore may be as good with a less estate as with a larger And is not goodness the essential part of happiness Be our station what it will have we any concern but humbly to acquiesce in it and fulfil our duties
But who for selfish considerations can wish to circumscribe the power of this good man The greater opportunities he has of doing good the higher must be his enjoyment—No Lucy do not let us flatter ourselves
Sir Charles rejoices on Sir Hargraves having just now by letter suspended the appointment till next week of his dining with him at his house on the forest
I Left Sir Charles with Dr Bartlett They would both have engaged me to stay longer but I thought the Ladies would miss me and think it particular to find me with him in the doctors closet
My Lord and the two sisters were together in the drawingroom adjoining to the library On my entrance Well Harriet said Miss Grandison we will now endeavour to find out my brother You must be present to yourself and put in a word nowandthen We shall see if Dr Bartlett is right when he says that my brother is the most unreserved of men
Just then came in Dr Bartlett—I think doctor said Lady L we will take your advice and ask my brother all the questions in relation to his engagements abroad that come into our heads
She had not done speaking when Sir Charles entered and drew his chair next me and just then I thought myself he looked upon me with equal benignity and respect
Miss Grandison began with taking notice of the letter from which Dr Bartlett she said had read some passages of the happiness he had procured to Lord W in ridding him of his woman She wished she told him that she knew who was the Lady he had in his thoughts to commend to my Lord for a wife
I will have a little talk with her before I name her even to you my Lord and my sisters I am sure my sisters will approve of their aunt if she accept of my Lord for a husband I shall pay my compliments to her in my return from Grandisonhall—Do you Charlotte choose to accompany me thither I must I think be present at the opening of the church I
dont ask you my Lord nor you Lady L so short as my stay will be there I purpose to go down on Friday next and return the Tuesday following
Miss Gr I think brother I should wish to be excused If indeed you would stay there a week or fortnight I could like to attend you and so I dare say would Lord and Lady L
Sir Cha I must be in town on Wednesday next week but you must stay the time you mention You cannot pass it disagreeably in the neighbourhood of the Hall and there you will find your cousin Grandison He will gallant you from one neighbour to another And if I judge by your freedoms with him you have a greater regard for him than perhaps you know you have
Miss Gr Your servant Sir bowing—But I will take my revenge—Pray Sir Charles may I ask we are all brothers and sisters—
Sir Ch Stop Charlotte pleasantly If you are going to ask any questions by way of revenge I answer them not
Miss Gr Revenge—Not revenge neither—But when the Lord W as by the passages Dr Bartlett was so good as to read to us proposed to you this Lady for a wife and that Lady your answers gave us apprehension that you are not inclined to marry—
Lady L You are very unceremonious Charlotte—
Indeed Lucy she made me tremble Sure he can have no notion that I have seen the whole Letter—seen myself named in it
Miss Gr What signifies ceremony among relations
Sir Ch Let Charlotte have her way
Miss Gr Why then Sir I would ask—Dont you intend one day to marry
Sir Ch I do Charlotte I shall not think myself happy till I can obtain the hand of a worthy woman
I was I am afraid Lucy visibly affected I knew
not how to stay yet it would have looked worse to go
Miss Gr Very well Sir—And pray Have you not either abroad or at home seen the woman you could wish to call yours—Dont think me impertinent brother
Sir Ch You cannot be impertinent Charlotte If you want to know any-thing of me it please me best when you come directly to the point
Miss Gr Well then if I cannot be impertinent if you are best pleased when you are most freely treated and if you are inclined to marry pray why did you decline the prposals mentioned by Lord W in behalf of Lady Francis N of Lady Anne S and I cannot tell how many more
Sir Ch The friends of the firstnamed Lady proceeded not generously with my father in that affair The whole family builds too much on the interest and title of her father I wanted not to depend upon any public man I chose as much as possible to fix my happiness within my own little circle I have strong passions I am not without ambition Had I loosened the reins to the latter young man as I am my tranquillity would have been pinned to the feather in another mans cap Does this satisfy you Charlotte as to Lady Frances
Miss Gr Why yes And the easier because there is a Lady whom I could have preferred to Lady Frances
I should not thought I have been present at this conversation Lord L looked at me Lord L should not have looked at me The Ladies did not
Sir Ch Who is she
Miss Gr Lady Anne S you know Sir—Pray may I ask why that could not be
Sir Ch Lady Anne is I believe a deserving woman but her fortune must have been my principal inducement had I made my addresses to her I never
yet went so low as to that alone for an inducement to see a Lady three times
Miss Gr Then Sir you have made your addresses to Ladies—Abroad I suppose
Sir Ch I thought Charlotte your curiosity extended only to the Ladies in England
Miss Gr Yes Sir it extends to Ladies in England and out of England if any there be that have kept my brother a single man when such offers have been made him as we think would have been unexceptionable But you hint then Sir that there are Ladies abroad—
Sir Ch Take care Charlotte that you make as free a respondent when it comes to your turn as you are a questioner
Miss Gr By your answers to my questions Sir teach me how I am to answer yours if you have any to make
Sir Ch Very well Charlotte Have I not answered satisfactorily your questions about the Ladies you named
Miss Gr Pretty well But Sir have you not seen Ladies abroad whom you like better than either of those I have named—Answer me to that
Sir Ch I have Charlotte and at home too
Miss Gr I dont know what to say to you—But pray Sir Have you not seen Ladies abroad whom you have liked better than any you ever saw at home
Sir Ch No But tell me Charlotte to what does all this tend
Miss Gr Only brother that we long to have you happily married and we are afraid that your declining this proposal and that is owing to some previous attachment—And now all is out
Lord L And now my dear brother all is out—
Lady L If our brother will gratify our curiosity—
Had I ever before Lucy so great a call upon me as now for presence of mind
Sir Charles sighed He paused And at last said—You are very generous very kind in your wishes to see me married I have seen the Lady with whom of all the women in the world I think I could be happy
A fine blush overspread his face and he looked down Why Sir Charles did you blush Why did you look down The happy thrice happy woman was not present was she—Ah No no no—
Sir Ch And now Charlotte what other questions have you to ask before it comes to your turn to answer some that I have to put to you
Miss Gr Only one—Is the Lady a foreign Lady
How everybody but I looked at him expecting his answer—He really hesitated At last I think Charlotte you will excuse me if I say that this question gives me some pain—Because it leads to another that if made I cannot at present myself answer But why so Sir thought I And if not made it cannot be of any signification to speak to this
Lord L We would not give you pain Sir Charles And yet—
Sir Ch What yet my dear Lord L
Lord L When I was at Florence there was much talk—
Sir Ch Of a Lady of that city—Olivia my Lord—There was—She has fine qualities but unhappily blended with others less approveable—But I have nothing to wish for from Olivia She has done me too much honour I should not so readily have named her now had she been more sollicitous to conceal the distinction she honoured me with But your Lordship I dare hope never heard even illwill open its mouth to her disreputation only that she descended too much in her regard for one object
Lord L Your character Sir Charles was as much to her reputation as—
Sir Ch interrupting O my Lord how brotherly
partial But this Lady out of the question my peace has been broken in pieces by a tender fault in my constitution—And yet I would not be without it
The sweet Emily arose and in tears went to the window A sob endeavoured to be suppressed called our attention to her
Sir Charles went and took her hand Why weeps my Emily
Because you who so well deserve to be happy seem not to be so
Tender examples Lucy are catching I had much ado to restrain my tears
He kindly consoled her My unhappiness my dear said he arises chiefly from that of other people I should but for that be happy in myself because I endeavour to accommodate my mind to bear inevitable evils and to make if possible a virtue of necessity But Charlotte see how grave you have made us all and yet I must enter with you upon a subject that possibly may be thought as serious by you as that which at present I wish to quit
Wish to quit The question gave him some pain because it led to another which he cannot himself at present answer—
What Lucy let me ask you before I follow him to his next subject can you gather from what passed in that already recited If he is himself at an uncertainty he may deserve to be pitied and not blamed But dont you think he might have answered whether the Lady is a foreigner or not—How could he know what the next question would have been
I had the assurance to ask Miss Grandison afterwards aside Whether any-thing could be made out or guessed at by his eyes when he spoke of having seen the woman he could prefer to all others For he sat next me she overagainst him
I know not what to make of him said she But be the Lady native or foreigner it is my humble opinion
that my brother is in love He has all the symptoms of it that I can guess by
I am of Charlottes opinion Lucy Such tender sentiments such sweetness of manners such gentleness of voice—Love has certainly done all this for him And the Lady to be sure is a foreigner It would be strange if such a man should not have engaged his heart in the seven or eight years past and those from Eighteen to Twentysix or seven the most susceptible of a mans life
But what means he by saying
His peace has been broken to pieces by a tender fault in his constitution
—Compassion I suppose for some unhappy object—I will soon return to town and there prepare to throw myself into the arms of my dearest relations in Northamptonshire I shall otherwise perhaps add to the number of those who have broken his peace
But it is strange methinks that he could not have answered Whether the Lady is a foreigner or not
Dr Bartlett you are mistaken Sir Charles Grandison is not so very un reserved a man as you said he was
But Oh my dear little flattering Emily how could you tell me that you watched his eyes and saw them always kindly bent on me—Yes perhaps when you thought so he was drawing comparisons to the advantage of his fair foreigner from my less agreeable features—
But this Olivia Lucy I want to know something more of her
Nothing he says to wish for from Olivia
Poor Lady Methinks I am very much inclined to pity her
Well but I will proceed now to his next subject I wish I could find some faults in him It is a cruel thing to be under a kind of necessity to be angry with a man whom we cannot blame And yet in the next conversation you will see him angry Dont you long Lucy to see how Sir Charles Grandison will behave when he is angry
NOW Charlotte said he as if he had fully answered the questions put to him—O these men let me ask you a question or two—I had a visit made me yesterday by Lord G What my dear do you intend to do with regard to him—But perhaps you would choose to withdraw with me on this question
Miss Gr I wish I had made to you the same overture of withdrawing Sir Charles on the questions I put to you I should have had more satisfaction given me I fansy than I can boast of if I had
Sir Ch I will withdraw with you if you please and hear any other questions you have to put to me
Miss Gr You can put no questions to me Sir that I shall have any objection to answer before this company
Sir Ch You know my question Charlotte
Miss Gr What would you advise me to do in that affair brother
Sir Ch I have only one piece of advice to give you—It is That you will either encourage or discourage his address if you know your own mind
Miss Gr I believe brother you want to get rid of me
Sir Ch Then you intend to encourage Lord G
Miss Gr Does that follow Sir
Sir Ch Or you could not have supp•sed that I wanted to part with you But come Charlotte let us retire It is very difficult to get a direct answer to such questions as these from Ladies before company tho the company be ever so nearly related to them
Miss Gr I can answer before this company any questions that relate to Lord G
Sir Ch Then you dont intend to encourage him
Miss Gr I dont see how that follows neither from what I said
Sir Ch It does very clearly I am not an absolute stranger to the language of women Charlotte
Miss Gr I thought my brother too polite to reflect upon the sex
Sir Ch Is it to reflect upon the sex to say that I am not an absolute stranger to their language
Miss Gr I protest I think so in the way you spoke it
Sir Ch Well then try if you cannot find a language to speak in that may not be capable of such an interpretation
Miss Gr I am afraid you are displeased with me brother I will answer more directly
Sir Ch Do my Charlotte I have promised Lord G to procure him an answer—
Miss Gr Is the question he puts Sir a brief one—On or off
Sir Ch Trust me Charlotte You may even with your punctilio
Miss Gr Will you not advise me Sir
Sir Ch I will—To pursue your inclination
Miss Gr Suppose if I knew yours that that would turn the scale
Sir Ch Is the balance even
Miss Gr I cant say that neither
Sir Ch Then dismiss my Lord G
Miss Gr Indeed brother you are angry with me
Sir Ch addressing himself to me I am sure Miss Byron that I shall find in such points as this a very different sister in you when I come to be favoured with the perusal of your Letters Your cousin Reeves once said That when you knew your own mind you never kept any one in suspense
Miss Gr But I cant say that I know my mind absolutely
Sir Ch That is another thing I am silent Only when you do I shall take it for a favour if you will communicate it to me for your service
Miss Gr I am among my best friends—Lord L what is your advice Sir Charles does not incline to give me his
Sir Ch It is owing to my regard to your own inclinations and not to displeasure or petulance that I do not
Lord L I have a very good opinion of Lord G What is yours my dear to Lady L
Lady L I really think very well of my Lord G What is yours Miss Byron
Harriet I believe Miss Grandson must be the sole determiner on this occasion If she has no objection I presume to think that no one else can have any
Miss Gr Explain explain Harriet—
Sir Ch Miss Byron answers as she always does Penetration and prudence with her never quit company If I have the honour to explain her sentiments in giving mine take both as follow My Lord G is a good natured mild man He will make a woman happy who has some share of prudence tho she has a still greater share of will Charlotte is very lively She loves her jest almost as well as she loves her friend—
Miss Gr How brother
Sir Ch And Lord G will not stand in competition with her in that respect There should not be a rivalry in particular qualities in marriage I have known a poet commence an hatred to his wife on her being complimented with making better verses than he Let Charlotte agree upon those qualities in which she will a low her husband to excel and he allow in her those she has a desire to monopolize and all may do well
Miss Gr Then Lord G must not be disputed
with I presume were I to be his wife on the subject of moths and butterflies
Sir Ch Yet Lord G may give them up when he has a more considerable trifle to amuse himself with Pardon me Charlotte—Are you not as far as we have gone in this conversation a pretty trifler
Miss Gr bowing Thank you brother The epithets pretty and young and little are great qualifiers of harsh words
Sir Ch But do you like Sir Walter Watkyns better than Lord G
Miss Gr I think not He is not I believe so goodnatured a man as the other
Sir Ch I am glad you make that distinction Charlotte
Miss Gr You think it a necessary one in my case I suppose Sir
Sir Ch I have a Letter of his to answer He is very urgent with me for my interest with you I am to answer it Will you tell me my sister giving her the Letter what shall I say
Miss Gr after perusing it Why ay poor man he is very much in love But I should have some trouble to teach him to spell And yet they say he has both French and Italian at his singers ends
She then began to pull in pieces the Letter
Sir Ch I will not permit that Charlotte Pray return me the Letter No woman is intitled to ridicule a Lover whom she does not intend to encourage If she has a good opinion of herself she will pity him Whether she has or not if she wounds she should heal Sir Walter may address himself to an hundred women who for the sake of his gay appearance and good estate will forgive him his indifferent spelling
Miss Gr The sluttering season is approaching One wants now and▪then a dangling fellow or two after one in public Perhaps I have not seen enough of either of these to determine which to choose Will
you not allow one since neither of them have very striking merits to behold them in different lights in order to enable ones self to judge which is the most tolerable of the two Or whether a still more tolerable wretch may not offer
She spoke this in her very archest manner serious as the subject was and seriously as her brother wished to know her inclinations
Sir Charles turned to Lord L and gravely said I wonder how our cousin Everard is amusing himself at this instant at the Hall
She was sensible of the intended rebuke and asked him to forgive her
Wit my Lord continued he inattentive to the pardon she asked is a dangerous weapon But that species of it which cannot shine without a foil is not a wit to be proud of The Lady before me what is her name and I have been both under a mistake I took her for my sister Charlotte She took me for our cousin Everard
Every one felt the severity It seemed to pierce me as if directed to me So unusually severe from Sir Charles Grandison and delivered with such serious unconcern in the manner I would not at that moment have been Miss Grandison for the world
She did not know which way to look Lady L amiable woman felt it for her sister Tears were in the eyes of both
At last▪ Miss Grandison arose I will take away the impostor Sir and when I can rectify my mistake and bring you back your sister I hope you will receive her with your usual goodness
My Charlotte my Sister taking her hand you must not be very angry with me I love to feel the finer edge of your wit But when I was bespeaking your attention upon a very serious subject a subject that concerned the happiness of your future life and if yours mine and you could be able to say something
that became only the mouth of an unprincipled woman to say how could I forbear to wish that some other woman and not my sister had said it—Times and occasions my dear Charlotte
No more I beseech you Sir I am sensible of my folly Let me retire
I Charlotte will retire dont you but take the comfort your friends are disposed to give you Emily one word with you my dear She flew to him and they went out together
There said Miss Grandison has he taken the girl with him to warn her against falling into my folly
Dr Bartlett retired in silence
Lady L expressed her concern for her sister but said Indeed Charlotte I was afraid you would carry the matter too far
Lord L blamed her Indeed sister he bore with you a great while and the affair was a serious one He had engaged very seriously and even from principle in it O Miss Byron he will be delighted with you when he comes to read your papers and fees your treatment of the humble servants you resolved not to encourage
Yes yes Harriet will shine at my expence but may she—Since I have lost my brothers favour I pray to heaven that she may gain it But he shall ne•er again have reason to say I take him for my cousin Everard But was I very wicked Harriet—Deal fairly with me Was I very wicked
I thought you wrong all the way I was afraid for you But for what you last said about encouraging men to dangle after you and seeming to aim at makeing new conquests I could have chidden you had you not had your brother to hear it Will you forgive me whispering her They were the words of a very coquet and the air was so arch—Indeed my Charlotte you were very much out of the way
So Everybody against me—I must have been wrong indeed—
The time the occasion was wrong sister Charlotte said Lord L Had the subject been of less weight your brother would have passed it off as pleasantly as he has always before done your vivacities
Very happy replied she to have such a character that everybody must be in fault who differs from him or offends him
In the midst of his displeasure Charlotte said Lady L he forgot not the brother The subject he told you concerned the happiness of your future life and if yours his
One remark resumed Lord L I must make to Sir Charless honour take it not amiss sister Charlotte Not the least hint did he give of your error relating to a certain affair and yet he must think of it so lately as he has extricated you from it His aim evidently is to amend not to wound
I think my Lord retorted Miss Grandison with a glow in her cheeks you might have spared your remark If the one brother did not recriminate the other needed not to remind My Lord you have not my thanks for your remark
This affected good Lady L Pray sister blame not my Lord You will lose my pity if you do Are not we four united in one cause Surely Charlotte we are to speak our whole hearts to each other
So I have brought man and wife upon me now Please the Lord I will be married in hopes to have somebody on my side But Harriet say Am I wrong again
I hope my dear Miss Grandison replied I that what you said to my Lord was in pleasantry And if so the fault was that you spoke it with too grave an air
Well well let me take hold of your hand my dear to help me out of this new difficulty I am dreadfully out of luck today I am sorry I spoke not my pleasantry with a pleasant air—Yet were not you
likewise guilty of the same fault Lady L Did not you correct me with too grave an air
I am very willing returned Lady L it should pass so But my dear you must not by your petulance rob yourself of the sincerity of one of the best hearts in the world looking with complacency at her Lord
He bowed to her with an affectionate air—Happy couple
As I hope to live said Miss Grandison I thought you all pitied me when Sir Charles laid so heavy an hand upon me And so he seemed to think by what he said at going out How did you deceive me all of you by your eyes
I do assure you said my Lord I did pity you But had I not thought my sister in fault I should not
Your servant my Lord You are a nice distinguisher
And a just one Charlotte rejoined Lady L
No doubt of it Lady L and that was your motive too I beseech you let me not be deprived of your pity I have yours also Harriet upon the same kind consideration
Why now this archness becomes you Charlotte said I I was willing it should pass so Lucy This is pretty pleasantry
It is a pretty specimen of Charlottes penitence said Lady L
I was glad Lady L spoke this with an air of good humour but Miss Grandison withdrew upon it not well pleased
We heard her at her harpsichord and we all joined her Emily also was drawn to us by the music Tell me my dear said Miss Grandison to her stopping Have you not had all my faults laid before you for your caution
Indeed madam my guardian said but one word about you and this was it I love my sister She has amiable qualities We are none of us right at all
times You see Emily that I in chiding her spoke with a little too much petulance
God for ever bless my brother said Miss Grandison in a kind of rapture But now his goodness makes my flippancy odious to myself—Sit down my child and play your Italian air
This brought in Sir Charles He entered with a look of serenity as if nothing had passed to disturb him
When Emily had done playing and singing Miss Grandison began to make apologies But he said Let us forget each others failings Charlotte
Notice being given of dinner Lord L took my hand and Sir Charles complaisantly led his sister Charlotte to her seat at the table Lady L being gone into the dining parlour before
A most intolerable superiority—I wish he would do something wrong something cruel If he would but bear malice would but stiffen his air by resentment it would be something As a MAN cannot he be lordly and assuming and where he is so much regarded I may say feared nod his imperial significance to his vassals about him—Cannot he be imperious to servants to shew his displeasure with principals—No it is natural to him to be good and just His whole aim as my Lord observed is
to convince and amend and not to wound or hurt
After dinner Miss Grandison put into my hands the parcel of my Letters which I had consented Sir Charles should see Miss Byron Sir said she will oblige you with the perusal of some of her Letters You will in them see another sort of woman than your Charlotte May I amend and be but half as good—When you have read them you will say Amen and if your prayer take place will be satisfied with your sister
He received them from me standing up bowing and kissed the papers with an air of gallantry that I
thought greatly became him O the vanity of the girl methinks my uncle says at this place He put them in his pocket
Without conditions Harriet said Miss Grandison Except those of candour yet correction answered I Again he bowed to me
I dont know what to say to it Lucy but I think Sir Charles looks highly pleased to hear me praised and the Ladies and my Lord miss no opportunity to say kind things of me But could he not have answered Miss Grandisons question Whether his favourite was a foreigner or not—Had any other question arisen afterwards that he had not cared to answer he could but have declined answering it as he did that
What a great deal of writing does the reciting of half an hour or an hours conversation make when there are three or four speakers in company and one attempts to write what each says in the first person I am amazed at the quantity on looking back But it will be so in narrative Letterwriting Did not you Lucy write as long Letters when you went with your brother to Paris—I forget Only this I remember that I always was sorry when I came to the end of them I am afraid it is quite otherwise with mine
By the way I am concerned that Lady D is angry with me Yet methinks she shews by her anger that she had a value for me As to what you tell me of Lord Ds setting his heart on the proposed alliance I am not so much concerned at that because he never saw me And had the affair been in his own power tis likely he would not have been very solicitous about his success Many a one Lucy I believe has found an ardor when repulsed which they would never have known had they succeded
Lady Betty and Miss Clements were so good as to make me a visit this afternoon in their way to
Windsor where they are to pass two or three days They lamented my long absence from town and Lady Betty kindly regretted for me the many fine entertainments I had lost both public and private by my country excursion at this unpropitious season of the year as she called it shrugging her shoulders as it in compassion for my rustic taste
Good Lady she knew not that I am in company that want not entertainments out of themselves They have no time to kill or to delude On the contrary our constant complaint is that time flies too fast And I am sure for my part I am forced to be a manager of it since between conversation and writing I have not a moment to spare And I never in my life devoted so sew hours to rest
I have often wished for Miss Clements to be with us and so I told her Sir Charles spoke very handsomely of her on occasion of Miss Grandisons saying she was a plain but good young woman She is not a beauty said he but she has qualities that are more admired than mere beauty
Would she not asked Lady L make a good wife for Lord W There is said Sir Charles too great a disparity in years She has and must have too many hopes My Lord Ws wife will probably be confined six months out of twelve to a gouty mans chamber She must therefore be one who has outlived half her hopes She must have been acquainted with affliction and known disappointment She must consider her marriage with him tho as an act of condescension yet partly as a preferment Her tenderness will by this means be engaged yet her dignity supported and if she is not too much in years to bring my Lord an heir he will then be the most grateful of men to her
My dear Brother said Miss Grandison forgive me all my faults Your actions your sentiments shall
be the rule of mine—But who can come up to you The Danbys—Lord W—
Anybody may Charlotte interrupted Sir Charles who will be guided by the wellknown rule of Doing to others as you would they should do unto you Were you in the situation of the Danbys of Lord W would you not wish to be done by as I have done and intend to do by them What must be those who with hungry eyes wait and wish for the death of a relation May they not be compared to savages on the seashore who look out impatiently for a wreck in order to plunder and prey upon the spoils of the miserable Lord W has been long an unhappy man from want of principles I shall rojoice if I can be a means of convincing him by his own experience that he was in a wrong course and of making his latter days happy Would I not in my decline wish for a nephew that had the same notions And can I expect such an one if I set not the example
Pretty soon after supper Sir Charles left us and Miss Grandison seeing me in a resverie said I will lay my life Harriet you fansy my brother is gone up to read your Letters—Nay you are in the right for he whispered as much to me before he withdrew But do not be apprehensive Harriet for she saw me concerned you have nothing to fear I am sure
Lady L said That her brothers notions and mine were exactly alike on every subject But yet Lucy when one knows ones cause to be under actual examination one cannot but have some heartakes—Yet why—If his favourite woman is a foreigner what signifies his opinion of my Letters—And yet it does One would be willing to be well thought of by the worthy
Thursday Mar 23
WE sat down early to breakfast this morning Miss Grandison dismissed the attendants as soon as Sir Charles entered the room
He addressed himself to me the moment he saw me Admirable Miss Byron said he what an entertainment have your Letters given me down to a certain period—How at and after that have they distressed me for your sufferings from a Savage—It is well for him and perhaps for me that I saw not sooner this latter part of your affecting story I have read thro the whole parcel
He took it from his bosom and with a respectful air presented it to me—Ten thousand thanks for the favour—I dare not hope for farther indulgence—Yet not to say how desirous I am—But forgive me—Think me not too great an incroacher—
I took them
Surely brother said Miss Grandison you cannot already have read the whole
I have—I could not leave them—I sat up late—
And so thought I did your sister Harriet Sir
Well brother said Miss Grandison and what are the faults
Faults Charlotte—Such a noble heart such an amiable frankness No prudery No coquetry Yet so much and so justly admired by as many as have had the happiness to approach her—Then turning to me I adore madam the goodness the greatness of your heart Woman is the glory of all created existence—But you madam are more than woman
How I blushed how I trembled How tho so greatly flattered was I delighted
Is Miss Byron in those Letters all perfect all faultless all excellence Sir Charles asked Miss Grandison Is there no—But I am sensible tho you have raised my envy I assure you that Miss Byrons si another sort of heart than your poor Charlottes
But I hope Sir said I that you will correct—
You called upon me yesterday interrupted he to attend to the debate between you and Mr Walden I think I have something to observe upon that subject I told you that beauty should not bribe me I have very few observations to make upon it
Lady L Will you give us brother your opinion in writing of what you have read a
Sir Ch That would fill a volume And it would be almost all panegyric
How flattering—But this foreign Lady Lucy—
Lady L began another subject—
Pray brother said she let me revive one of the topics of yesterday—Concerning Lord G and Sir Walter Watkyns—And I hope you Charlotte will excuse me
Miss Gr If it can be revived without reviving the memory of my flippant folly—Not else will I excuse you Lady L And casting her eye bashfully round her Dr Bartlett withdrew but as if he had business to do
Lady L Then let me manage this article for my sister You said brother that you have engaged to give Lord G either hope or otherwise—
Sir Ch Lord G was very earnest with me for my interest with my sister I supposing that she is now absolutely disengaged did undertake to let him know what room he had for hope or if any but told him That I would not by any means endeavour to influence her
Lady L Charlotte is afraid that you would not of yourself from displeasure have revived the subject—Not that she values—
There she stopt
Sir Ch I might at the time be a little petulant But I should have revived the subject because I had engaged myself to procure an answer for an absent person to a question that was of the highest importance to him But perhaps I should have entered into the subject with Charlotte when we were alone
Lady L She can have no objection I believe to let all of us who are present know her mind on this occasion
Miss Gr To be sure I have not
Lady L What signifies mincing the matter I undertook at her desire to recal the subject because you had seemed to interest yourself in it
Sir Ch I think I know as much of Charlottes mind already from what you have hinted Lady L as I ought to be inquisitive about
Lady L How so brother What have I said
Sir Ch What meant the words you stopt at—Not that she values —Now tho I will not endeavour to lead her choice in behalf of a prince yet would I be earnest to oppose her marriage with a man for whom she declaredly has no value
Lady L You are a little sudden upon me Sir Charles
Sir Ch You must not think the words you stopt at Lady L slight words Principle and Charlottes future happiness and that of a worthy man are concerned here But perhaps you mean no more than to give a little specimen of Ladylike pride in those words It is a very hard matter for women on such occasions as these to be absolutely right—Dear Miss Byron bowing to me excuse me—There is one Lady in the world that ought not from what I have had the honour to see on her own account to take amiss my freedom with her sex tho she perhaps will on that of those she loves But have I not some reason for what I say when even Lady L speaking
for her sister on this concerning subject cannot help throwing in a salvo for the pride of her sex
Harriet I doubt not Sir but Lady L and Miss Grandison will explain themselves to your satisfaction
Lady L then called upon her sister
Miss Gr Why as to value—and all that—To be sure—Lord G—is not a man that—and she looked round her on each person—that a woman—Hem—that a woman—But brother I think you are a little too ready—to—to—A word and a blow as the saying is are two things—Not that—And there she stopt
Sir Ch smiling O my dear Lord L What shall we say to these Not thats Were I my cousin Everard I am not sure but I should suppose when Ladies were suspending unnecessarily or with affectation the happiness of the man they resolve to marry that they were reflecting on themselves by an indirect acknowlegement of self-denial —
Miss Gr Good God brother
I was angry at him in my mind How came this good man thought I by such thoughts as these of our sex What Lucy could a woman do with such a man were he to apply to her in courtship whether she denied or accepted of him
Sir Ch You will consider Lady L that you and Charlotte have brought this upon yourselves That I call female pride which distinguishes not either time company or occasion You will remember that Lord G is not here we are all brothers and sisters And why Charlotte do you approve of entering upon the subject in this company yet come with your exceptions as if Lord G had his father present or pleading for him These Not that she values and soforth are so like the dealings between petty chapmen and common buyers and sellers that I love properly observe that I say properly to discourage them among persons of sense and honour But come Charlotte enter into your own cause You are an excellent
pleader on occasion You know or at least you ought t• know your own mind I never am for encouraging agency Lady L excuse me—Will you give up yours where principals can be present
Lady L With all my heart I stumbled at the very threshold Een Charlotte be your own advocate The cause is on
Miss Gr Why I dont know what to say—My brother will be so peremptory perhaps—
Sir Ch A good sign for somebody—Dont you think so madam to me—But the snail will draw in its horns if the finger hastily touch it—Come no good sign perhaps Charlotte—I will not be peremptory You shall be indulged if you have not already been indulged enough in all the pretty circummabages customary on these occasions
Miss Gr This is charming—But pray Sir What is your advice on this subject
Sir Ch In our former conversation upon it I told you what I thought of my Lords goodhumour what of your vivacity—Can you Charlotte were you the wife of Lord G content yourself nowandthen to make him start by the lancetlike delicacy of your wit without going deeper than the skin Without exposing him and yourself for doing so to the ridicule of others Can you bear with his soibles if he can bear with yours And if the forbearance is greater on his side than on yours can you value him for it and for his goodhumour
Miss Gr Finely run off upon my word
Sir Ch I am afraid only that you will be able Charlotte to do what you will with him I am sorry to have cause to say that I have seen very good women who have not known how to bear indulgence—Waller was not absolutely wrong as to such when he said that women were born to be controuled If controul is likely to be necessary it will be with women of such charming spirits as you know whose
Charlotte who will not confine to time and place their otherwise agreeable vivacities
Miss Gr Well but Sir if it should chance to be so and I were Lord Gs upper servant for controul implies dominion what a fine advantage would he have in a brother who could direct him so well tho he might still perhaps be a bechelor how to manage a wife so flippant
Sir Ch Bachelors Charlotte are close observers It is not every married couple if they were sollicitous to have a bachelor marry that should admit him into a very close intimacy with themselves
Miss Gr archly Pray Lord L Did we not once hear our cousin Everard make an observation of this nature
Sir Ch Fairly retorted Charlotte—But how came your cousin Everard to make this observation I once heard you say that he was but a common observer Every married pair is not Lord and Lady L
Miss Gr Well well I believe married people must do as well as they can But may I ask you brother Is it owing to such observations as those you have been making that you are now a single man
Sir Ch A fair question from you Charlotte I answer It is not
Miss Gr I should be glad with all my heart to know what is
Sir Ch When the subject comes fairly on the carpet your curiosity may perhaps be gratified But tell me Do you intend that the subject you had engaged Lady L to introduce in relation to Lord G and Sir Walter Watkyns should be dismissed at present I mean not to be peremptory Charlotte Be not afraid to answer
Miss Gr Why thats kind No I cant say that I do And yet I frankly consess that I had much rather ask than answer questions You know Sir that I have a wicked curiosity
Sir Ch Well Charlotte you will find me wicked as you call it very ready at a proper time to gratify it To some things that you may want to know in relation to my situation you needed not now to have been a stranger had I had the pleasure of being more with you and had you yourself been as explicit as I would have wished you to be But the crisis is at hand When I am certain myself you shall not be in doubt I would not suppose that my happiness is a matter of indifference to my sisters and if it be not I should be ungrateful not to let them know everything I know that is likely to affect it
See Lucy What can be gathered from all this But yet this speech has a noble sound with it Dont you think it has It is I think worthy of Sir Charles Grandison But by what clouds does this sun seem to be obscured He says however that the crisis is at hand —Solemn words as they strike me Ah Lucy—But this is my prayer—May the crisis produce happiness to him let who will be unhappy
Miss Gr You are always good noble uniform—Curiosity get thee behind me and lie still—And yet brother like a favoured squirrel repulsed I am afraid it will be soon upon my shoulder if the crisis be suspended
Crisis is at hand
Lucy—I cannot get over these words and yet they make my heart ake
Sir Ch But now Charlotte as to your two admirers—
Miss Gr Why Sir methinks I would not be a petty〈◊〉 if I could help it And yet What can I say—I dont think highly of either of the men—But pray now what—Lady L affecting an audible wh••per Will you ask a question for me—
Lady L What is it Charlotte
Miss Gr whispering but still loud enough for every one to hear What sort of a man is Beauchamp
Lady L Mad girl—You heard the question brother
Miss Gr No—You did not hear it Sir if it will displease you The whispers in conversation are no more to be heard than the asides in a play
Sir Ch Both the one and the other are wrong Charlotte Whisperings in conversation are censurable to a proverb The asides as you call them and the soliloquies in a play however frequent are very poor because unnatural shifts of bungling authors to make their performances intelligible to the audience But am I to have heard your whisper Charlotte or not
Miss Gr I think the man my brother so much esteems must be worth an hundred of such as those we have just now heard named
Sir Ch Well then I am supposed to be answered I presume as to the two gentlemen I will shew you the Letter when written that I shall send to Sir Walter Watkyns I shall see Lord G I suppose the moment he knows I am in town—
Miss Gr The Lord bless me brother—Did you not say you would not be peremptory
Lord L Very right Pray Sir Charles dont let my sister part with the two without being sure of a third
Miss Gr Pray Lord L do you be quiet Your sister is in no hurry I do assure you
Sir Ch The female drawback again Lady L—Not that she values
Harriet Well but Sir Charles may I without offence repeat Miss Grandisons question in relation to Mr Beauchamp
Miss Gr Thats my dear creature
Sir Ch It is impossible that Miss Byron can give offence—Mr Beauchamp is an excellent young man about Fiveandtwenty not more He is brave learned sincere chearful gentle in his manners agreeable in his person Has my good Miss Byron any farther questions to ask Your frankness of heart
madam intitles you to equal frankness Not a question you can ask but the answer shall be ready upon my lips
Is the Lady Sir whom you could prefer to all others a foreign or an English Lady—Ah Lucy And do you think I asked him this question—O no but I had a mind to startle you I could have asked it I can tell you And if it had been proper it would have been the first of questions with me Yet had not the answer been such as I had liked perhaps I should not have been able to stay in company
I only bowed and I believe blushed with complacency at the kind manner in which he spoke to me Every one by their eyes took notice of it with pleasure
Lady L Well brother and what think you of the purport of Charlottes question Charlotte says That she does not think highly of either of the other men
Sir Ch That at present is all that concerns me to know I will write to Sir Walter I will let Lord G know that there is a man in the clouds that Charlotte waits for That Ladies must not be easily won Milton justifies you in his account of the behaviour of your common grandmother on the first interview between her and the man for whom she was created Charming copiers You Miss Byron are an exception You know nothing of affectation You—
Miss Gr unseasonably interrupting him Pray Sir be pleased since we are such fine copiers of the old lady you mentioned to repeat the lines I have no remembrance of them
Sir Ch
She heard me thus and tho divinely brought
He virtue and the conscience of her worth
That woud he wood▪ and not unsought be won
Wrough• in her so that seeing me she turnd
I f••lowd her She what was honour knew
And with obsequious majesty approvd
My pleaded reason—
I have looked for the passage since Lucy He missed several lines
Now Charlotte said Sir Charles tho these lines are a palpable accommodation to the future practice of daughters of the old lady as you call her and perhaps intended for an instruction to them since it could not be a natural behaviour in Eve who was divinely brought to be the wife of Adam and it being in the state of innocence could not be conscious of dishonour in receiving his address yet if you know what is meant by obsequious majesty you had as good try for it And as you are followed and should not follow approve of the pleaded reason of one or other of your admirers
Miss Gr After hearing the pleaded reason of both should you not say I have the choice of two that had not Eve But hold I had like to have been drawn in to be flippant again and then you would have enquired after my cousin Everard andsoforth and been angry
Sir Ch Not now Charlotte We are now at play together I see there is constitution in your fault The subjects we are upon courtship and marriage cannot I find be talked seriously of by a Lady before company Shall I retire with you to solitude Make a Lovers Camera Obscura for you Or could I place you upon the mosly bank of a purling stream gliding thro an enamelled mead in such a scene a now despised Lord G or a Sir Walter might find his account sighing at your feet No witnesses but the grazing herd lowing love around you the feathered songsters from an adjacent grove contributing to harmonize and fan the lambent flame—
Miss Gr interrupting Upon my word brother I knew you had travelled thro Greece but dreamt not that you had dwelt long in the fields of Arcady —But one question let me ask you concerning your friend Beauchamp—We women dont love to be
slighted—Whether do you think him too good or not good enough for your sister
Sir Ch The friendship Charlotte that has for some years subsisted and I hope will for ever subsist between Mr Beauchamp and me wants not the tie of relation to strengthen it
Lord L Happy Beauchamp
Sir Ch Lord L himself is not dearer to me brother as I have the honour to call him than my Beauchamp It is one of my pleasures my Lord that I am assured you will love him and he you
Lord L bowed delighted and if he did his good Lady you may be sure partook of her Lords delight They are an happy pair They want not sense they have both fine understandings But O my Lucy they are not the striking dazling qualities in men and women that make happy Good sense and solid judgment a natural complacency of temper a desire of obliging and an easiness to be obliged procure the silent the serene happiness to which the fluttering tumultuous impetuous fervors of passion can never contribute Nothing violent can be lasting
Miss Gr Not that I value —There brother—You see I am a borrower of Lady L—
Lady L Upon m• honour Charlotte I believe you led me into those words so dont say you borrowed them
Sir Ch Far be it from me to endeavour to cure women of affectation on such subjects as that which lately was before us—I dont know what is become of it looking humourously round as if he had lost something which he wanted to recover but that permit me Ladies to say may be an affectation in one company that is but a necessary reserve in another—Charlotte has genius enough I am sure to vary her humour to the occasion and i• she would give herself time for reflexion to know when to be grave when to be airy
Miss Gr I dont know that brother But let me say for Charlotte that I believe you sometimes think better of her as in the present case sometimes worse than she deserves Charlotte has not much reflexion she is apt to speak as the humour comes upon her without considering much about the fit or the unfit It is constitution you know brother and she cannot easily cure it But she will try—Only Sir be so good as to let me have an answer to my last question Whether you think your friend too good or not good enough Because the answer will let me know what my brother thinks of me and that let me tell you is of very high importance with me
Sir Ch You have no reason Charlotte to endeavour to come at this your end by indirect or comparative means Your brother loves you—
Miss Gr With all my faults Sir—
Sir Ch With all your faults my dear and I had almost said for some of them I love you for the pretty playfulness on serious subjects with which you puzzle yourself and bewilder me You see I follow your lead As to the other part of your question for I would always answer directly when I can my friend Beauchamp deserves the best of women You are excellent in my eyes but I have known two very worthy persons who taken separately have been admired by every one who knew them and who admired each other before marriage yet not happy in it
Miss Gr Is it possible To what could their unhappiness be owing—Both I suppose continuing good
Sir Ch To an hundred almost nameless reasons—Too little consideration on one side too much on the other Diversions different Too much abroad the man—Too much at home will sometimes have the same effect Acquaintance approved by the one—Disapproved by the other One liking the town
the other the country Or either preferring town or country in different humours or at different times of the year Human nature Charlotte—
Miss Gr No more no more I beseech you brother—Why this human nature I believe is a very vile thing I think Lady L I wont marry at all
Sir Ch Some such trifles as these I have enumerated will be likely to make you Charlotte with all your excellencies not so happy as I wish you to be If you cannot have a man of whose understanding you have an higher opinion than of your own you should think of one who is likely to allow to yours a superiority If—
Miss Grandison interrupted him again I wished she would not so often interrupt him I wanted to find out his notions of our sex I am afraid with all his politeness he thinks us poor creatures But why should not the character of a good a prudent woman be as great as that of a good a prudent man
Miss Gr Well but Sir I suppose the gentleman abroad has more understanding than I have
Sir Ch A good deal will depend upon what youll think of that Not what I or the world will judge
Miss Gr But the judgment of us women generally goes with the world
Sir Ch Not generally in matrimonial instances A wife in general may allow of a husbands superior judgment but in particular cases and as they fall out one by one the man may find it difficult to have at allowed in any one instance
Miss Gr I think you said Sir that batchelors were close observers
Sir Ch We may in the sister sometimes see the wife I admire you myself for your vivacity but I am not sure that a husband would not think himself hurt by it especially if it be true as you say
that Charlotte has not much reflexion and is apt to
speak as the humour comes upon her without troubling herself about the fit or the unfit
Miss Gr O Sir what a memory you have I hope that the man who is to call me his thats the dialect int it will not have half your memory
Sir Ch For his sake or your own do you hope this Charlotte
Miss Gr Let me see—Why for both our sakes I believe
Sir Ch Youll tell the man in courtship I hope that all this liveliness is
constitution
and
that you know not how to cure it
Miss Gr No by no means Sir Let him in the mistress as somebody else in the sister guess at the wife and take warning
Sir Ch Very well answered Charlotte in the play we are at but I am willing to think highly of my sisters prudence and that she will be happy and make the man so to whom she may think fit to give her hand at the altar And now the question recurs What shall I say to Lord G What to Sir Walter
Miss Gr Why I think you must make my compliments to Sir Walter if you will be so good and after the example of my sister Harriet to the men she sends a grazing very civilly tell him he may break his heart as soon as he pleases for that I cannot be his
Sir Ch Strange girl But I wish not to lower this lively spirit—You will put your determination into English
Miss Gr In plain English then I can by no means think of encouraging the address of Sir Walter Watkyns
Sir Ch Well And what shall I say to Lord G
Miss Gr Why thats the thing—I was afraid it would come to this—Why Sir you must tell him I think—I profess I cant tell what—But Sir will
you let me know what you would have me tell him
Sir Ch I will follow your lead as far as I can—Can you do you think love Lord G
Miss Gr Love him love Lord G What a question is that—Why no I verily believe that I cant say that
Sir Ch Can you esteem him
Miss Gr Esteem—Why thats a quaint word tho a female one I believe if I were to marry the honest man I could be civil to him if he would be very complaisant very observant and all that—Pray brother dont however be angry with me
Sir Ch I will not Charlotte smiling It is constitution you say—But if y•u cannot be more than civil and if he is to be very observant youll make it your agreement with him before you meet him at the altar that he shall subscribe to the womans part of the vow and that you shall answer to the mans
Miss Gr A good thought I believe Ill consider of it If I find in courtship the man will bear it I may make the proposal—Yet I dont know but it will be as well to suppose the vow changed without conditioning for it as other good women do and act accordingly One would not begin with a singularity for fear of putting the parson out I heard an excellent Lady once advise a good wise who however very little wanted it to give the man a hearing and never do any thing that he would wish to be done except she chose to do it If the man loves quiet hell be glad to compound
Harriet Nay now Miss Grandison you are much more severe upon your sex and upon matrimony than Sir Charles
Sir Ch Have I been severe upon either my dear Miss Byron
Harriet Indeed I think so
Sir Ch I am sorry for it I only intended to be
just See Charlotte what a censure from goodness itself you draw upon me—But I am to give encouragement am I to Lord G
Miss Gr Do as you please Sir
Sir Ch That is saying nothing Is there a man in the world you prefer to Lord G
Miss Gr In the world Sir—A very wide place I profess
Sir Ch You know what I mean by it
Miss Gr Why no—Yes—No—What can I say to such a question
Sir Ch Help me Lady L You know better than I Charlottes language Help me to understand it
Lady L I believe brother you may let Lord G know that he will not be denied an audience if he come—
Sir Ch Will not be denied an audience if he come And this to Charlottes brother Women Women Women—You Miss Byron I repeat with pleasure are an exception—In your Letters and behaviour we see what a woman is and what she ought to be—But I know as you once told Sir Rowland Meredith that you have too much greatness of mind to accept of a compliment made you at the expence of your sex—But my heart does you justice
Lord L See however brother Grandison this excellence in the two sisters You say indeed but just things in praise of Miss Byron but they are more than women For they enjoy that praise and the acknowleged superiority of the only woman in Britain to whom they can be inferior
Do you think I did not thank them both for compliments so high I did
You DID Harriet
Ah Lucy I had a mind to surprise you again I did thank them but it was in downcast silence and by a glow in my cheeks that was even painful to me to feel
The sisters have since observed to me flattering Ladies that their brothers eyes—But is it not strange Lucy that they did not ask him in this long conversation Whether his favourite of our sex is a foreigner or not If she be what signifies the eye of pleasure cast upon your Harriet
But be this as it may you see Lucy that the communicating of my Letters to Lord L and the two Ladies and of some of them to their brother has rivetted the three first in my favour and done me honour with Sir Charles Grandison
But what do you think was Miss Grandisons address to me on this agreeable occasion You my grandmamma will love her again I am sure tho she so lately incurred your displeasure
Sweet and everamiable Harriet said she Sister Friend enjoy the just praises of two of the best of men—You can enjoy them with equal modesty and dignity and we can What say you Lady L find our praise in the honour you do our sex and in being allowed to be seconds to you
And what do you think was the answer of Lady L generous woman to this call of her sister
I can chearfully said she subscribe to the visible superiority of my Harriet as shewn in all her Letters as well as in her whole conduct But then you my Lord and you my brother who in my eye are the first of men must not let me have cause to dread that your Caroline is sunk in yours
I had hardly power to sit yet had less to retire as I had for a moment a thought to do I am glad I did not attempt it My return to company must have been aukward and made me look particular But Lucy what is in my Letters to deserve all these fine speeches—But my Lord and his sisters are my true friends and zealous wellwishers No fear that I shall be too proud on this occasion It is humbling enough to reflect that the worthy three thought
it all no more than necessary to establish me with somebody and yet after all if there be a foreign Lady—What signify all these fine things
But how you will ask did the brother acknowlege these generous speeches of his sisters and Lord L—How Why as he ought to do He gave them for their generous goodness to their Harriet in preference to themselves such due praises as more than restored them in my eye to the superiority they had so nobly given up
Sir Charles afterwards addressed himself to me jointly with his sisters I see with great pleasure said he the happy understanding that there is between you three Ladies It is a demonstration to me of surpassing goodness in you all To express myself in the words of an ingenious man to whose works your sex and if yours ours are more obliged than to those of any single man in the British world
Great souls by instinct to each other turn
Demand alliance and in friendship burn
The two sisters and your Harriet bowed as they sat
Encouraged by this happy understanding among you let me hope proceeded he that you Miss Byron will be so good as to inform yourself and let me know what I may certainly depend upon to be our Charlottes inclinations with respect to the two gentlemen who court her favour and whether there is any man that the can or does prefer to the most favoured of either of them From you I shall not meet with the Not that she values—The depreciating indifferences the affected slights the female circumambages if I may be allowed the words the coldlyexpressed consent to visits not deserving to be discouraged and perhaps not intended to be so that I have had to encounter with in the past conversation I have been exceedingly diverted with my sisters vivacity But as the affair is of a very serious nature as I would
be extremely tender in my interposition having really no choice but hers and wanting only to know on whom that choice will fall or whether on any man at present on your noble frankness I can rely and Charlotte will open her mind to you If not she has very little profited by the example you have set her in the Letters you have permitted her to read
He arose bowed and withdrew Miss Grandison called after him Brother brother brother—One word—Dont leave us—But he only kissed his hand to us at the door and bowing with a smiling air left us looking at each other in a silence that held a few moments
LOrd L broke the silence You are a delightful girl Charlotte but your brother has had a great deal of patience with you
O my Lord said she if we women play our cards right we shall be able to manage the best and wisest of you all as we please It is but persevering and you men if not outargued may be outteazed —But Harriet—upon my word—The game seems to be all in your own hands
We want but my brother to be among us said Lady L Beauty would soon find its power And such a mind—And then they complimented me that their brother and I were born for each other
Miss Grandison told us all three her thoughts in relation to the alliance with Lord G She said she was glad that her brother had proposed to know her mind from me Something Harriet said she may arise in the têteàtête conversation that may let us into a little of his own
But shall I trust myself with him alone Lucy
Indeed I am afraid of him of my self rather My own concerns so much in my head I wish I dont confound them with Miss Grandisons A fine piece of work shall I make of it if I do If I get it so happily over as not to be dissatisfied with my self for my part in it I shall think I have had a deliverance
But Lucy if all these distinctions paid me in this conversation and all this confidence placed in me produce nothing—If—Why what if In one word Should this if be more than if —Why then it will go the harder thats all with your Harriet than if she had not been so much distinguished
At afternoontea the Danbys being mentioned Lord L asked Sir Charles What was the danger from which he relieved their uncle And we all joining in requesting particulars he gave the following which I will endeavour to repeat as near as possible in his own words My heart interested itself in the relation.
Mr Danby said he was a merchant of equal eminence and integrity He was settled at Cambray He had great dealings in the manufactures of cambricks and lace His brother John a very profligate man had demanded of him and took it ill that he denied him a thousand guineas for no better reason but because he had generously given that sum to each of the wicked mans children Surely he pleaded he was as nearly related to his brother as were those his children No plea is too weak for folly and selfinterest to insist upon Yet my Mr Danby had often given this brother large sums which he squandered away almost as soon as he received them
My father used to make remittances to Mr Danby for my use for his dealings in other branches of commerce extended to the south of France and Italy This brought me acquainted with him
He took a great liking to me I saw him first at
Lyons and he engaged me to visit him at Cambray whenever I should go to Paris or Flanders
Accompanying a friend soon after to Paris I performed my promise
He had a villa in the Cambresis at a small distance from the city which he sometimes called his cottage at others his dormitory It was a little lone house He valued it for its elegance Thither after I had passed two days with him at his house in the city he carried me
His brother enraged at being refused the sum he had so unreasonably demanded formed a plot to get possession of his whole fortune My Mr Danby was a bachelor and it was known had to that time an aversion to the thought of making his will
The wretch in short hired three ruffians to murder him The attempt was to be made in this little house that the fact might have the appearance of being perpetrated by robbers and the cabinets in the bedchamber if there were time for it after the horrid fact was perpetrated were to be broken open and rifled in order to give credit to that appearance The villains were each to be rewarded with a thousand crowns payable on the wicked mans getting possession of his brothers fortune and they had fifty crowns apiece paid them in hand Their unnatural employer waited the event at Calais tho he told them he should be at Dunkirk
I had one servant with me who lay with a manservant of Mr Danby in a little room over the stable about an hundred yards from the house There were only conveniences in the house for Mr Danby and a friend besides two women servants in the upper part of it
About midnight I was alarmed by a noise as of violence used at the window of Mr Danbys room Mine communicated with his The fastening of the
door was a springlock the key of which was on my side
I slipt on my cloaths in an instant and drawing my sword rushed into the next room just as one villain with a large knife in his hand had seized the throat of Mr Danby who till then was in a sound sleep The skin of his neck and one hand listed up to defend himself were slightly wounded before I ran the ruffian into the shoulder as I did with my sword and in the same moment disarmed him and threw him with violence from the bed against the door He roared out that he was a dead man
A second fellow had got up to the window and was half in He called out to a third below to hasten up after him on a ladder which was generally left in an outhouse near the little garden
I hastened to this second fellow who then fired a pistol but happily missed me and who feeling my swords point in his arm threw himself with a little of my help out of the window upon the third fellow who was mounting the ladder and knocked him off And then both made their escape by the way they came
The fellow within had fainted and lay weltering in his blood
By this time the two womenservants had let in our men who had been alarmed by the report of the pistol and by the report of the pistol and by the screams of the women from their window for they ventured not out of their chamber till they were called upon for entrance by their fellowservant from below
The two footmen by my direction bound up the ruffians shoulder They dragged him down into the hall He soon came to himself and offered to make an ample confession
Poor Mr Danby had crept into my room and in
a corner of it had fainted away We recovered him with difficulty
The fellow confessed before a magistrate the whole villainy and who set him at work The other two being disabled by their bruises from flying far were apprehended next day The vile brother was sent after to Dunkirk according to the intelligence given of him by the fellows but he having informed himself of what had happened got over from Calais to Dover
The wounded man having lost much blood recovered not They were all three ordered to be executed but being interceded for the surviving villains were sent to the gallies
It seems they knew nothing of Mr Danbys having a guest with him If they had they owned they would have made their attempt another night
We were about to deliver our sentiments on this extraordinary event when Sir Charles turning to Lady L Let me ask you said he the servant being withdrawn Has Charlotte found out her own mind
Yes yes Sir I believe she has opened all her heart to Miss Byron
Then I shall know more of it in ten minutes than Charlotte would let me know in as many hours
Stand by everybody said the humorous Lady—Let me get up and make my brother one of my best courtesies
Sir Charles was just then called out to a messenger who brought him Letters from town He returned to us his complexion heightened and a little discomposed
I intended madam said he to me to have craved the honour of your company for half an hour in my Lords library on the subject we were talking of But these Letters require my immediate attention The messenger must return with my answer to two of
them early in the morning You will have the goodness looking round him to dispense with my attendance on you at supper But perhaps madam to me you will be so good as in one word to say No or Yes for Charlotte
Miss Gr What Sir to be given up without a preface—I beg your pardon Less than ten words shall not do I assure you tho from my sister Harriet
Sir Ch Who given up Charlotte yourself If so I have my answer
Miss Gr Or Lord G—I have not said which Would you have my poor Lord rejected by a slighting monosyllable only
Lady L Mad girl
Miss Gr Why Lady L dont you see that Sir Charles wants to take me by implication But my Lord G is neither so soon lost nor Charlotte so easily won Harriet if you would give up yourself at a first question then I will excuse you if you give up me as easily but not else
Harriet If Sir Charles thinks a conference upon the subject unnecessary—Pray dont let us give him the trouble of holding one His time you see is very precious
Can you guess Lucy at the humour I was in when I said this—If you think it was a very good one you are mistaken yet I was sorry for it afterwards Foolish selfbetrayer Why should I seem to wish for a conference with him But that was not all—To be petulant with such a one when his heart was distressed for so it proved But he was too polite too great shall I say to take notice of my petulance How little does it make me in my own eyes
Had I said he ever so easily obtained a knowlege of my sisters mind I should not have known how to depend upon it were it not strengthened madam
from your lips The conference therefore which you gave me hopes you would favour me with would have been absolutely necessary I hope Miss Byron will allow me to invite her to it tomorrow morning The intended subject of it is a very serious one with me My sisters happiness and that of a man not unworthy are concerned in it lightly as Charlotte has hitherto treated it He bowed and was going
Miss Gr Nay pray brother—You must not leave me in anger
Sir Ch I do not Charlotte I had rather bear with you than you should with me I see you cannot help it A lively heart is a great blessing Indulge it Now is your time
Dear doctor said Miss Grandison when Sir Charles was gone out What can be the meaning of my brothers gravity It alarms me
Dr B If goodness madam would make an heart lively Sir Charless would be as lively as your own but you might have perceived by his air when he entered that the letters brought him affected him too much to permit him to laugh off a light answer to a serious question
Miss Gr Dear doctor—But I do now recollect that he entered with some little discomposure on his countenance How could I be so inattentive
Harriet And I too I doubt was a little captious
Dr B. A very little Pardon me madam
Just then came in the excellent man
Dr Bartlett I could wish to ask you one question said he
Miss Gr You are angry with me brother
Sir Ch No my dear—But I am afraid I withdrew with too grave an air I have been a thousand times pleased with you Charlotte to one time displeased and when I have been the latter you have always known it I had something in my hand that ruffled me a little But how could patience be patience
if it were not tried I wanted to say a few words to my good Dr Bartlett And to say truth being conscious that I had departed a little abruptly I could not be easy till I apologized in person for it therefore came to ask the favour of the doctors advice rather than request it by message
The doctor and he withdrew together
In these small instances said my Lord are the characters of the heart displayed far more than in greater What excellence shines out in full lustre on this unaffected and seemingly little occasion Fear of offending of giving uneasiness sollicitude to remove doubts patience recommended in one short sentence more forcibly than some would have done it in a long discourse as well as by example censuring himself not from a consciousness of being wrong but of being taken wrong Ah my dear sister Charlotte we should all edify by such an example—But I say no more
Miss Gr And have you nothing to say Harriet
Harriet Very little since I have been much to blame myself Yet let me remind my Charlotte that her brother was displeased with her yesterday for treating too lightly a subject he had engaged in seriously and that he has been forced to refer to her friend rather than to herself to help him to the knowlege of her mind O Charlotte regret you not the occasion given for the expedient And do you not Yes I see you do blush for giving it Yet to see him come voluntarily back when he had left us in a grave humour for fear the babies should think him angry with them O how great is he and how little are we
Miss Gr Your servant sister Harriet—You have made a dainty speech I think But great and good as my brother is we know how it comes to pass that your pretty imagination is always at work to aggrandize the man and to lower the babies
Harriet I will not say another word on the subject You are not generous Charlotte
She took my hand Forgive me my dear—I touchd too tender a string Then turning to Miss Jervois and with the other hand taking hers Why twinkles thus my girl—I charge you Emily tell me all you think
I am thinking said she that my guardian is not happy To see him bear with everybody to have him keep all his troubles to himself because he would not afflict anybody and yet study to lighten and remove the troubles of everybody else—Did he not say that he should be happy but for the unhappiness of other people
Excellent young creature said Miss Grandison I love you every day better and better For the future my dear do not retire whatever subjects we talk of I see that we may confide in your discretion But well as you love your guardian say nothing to him of what women talk to women My Lord L is an exception in this case He is one of us
Harriet O Miss Grandison what a mixd character is yours How good you can be when you please and how naughty
Miss Gr Well and you like me just now—Thats the beauty of it to offend and make up at pleasure Old Terence was a shrewd man The falling out of Lovers says he as Lord L once quoted him is the renewal of Love Are we not now better friends than if we had never differed And do you think that I will not if I marry exercise my husbands patience nowandthen for this very purpose—Let me alone Harriet Now a quarrel now a reconciliation I warrant I shall be happier than any of the yawning seesaws in the kingdom Everlasting summers would be a grievance
Harriet You may be right if you are exceeding discreet in your perversenesses Charlotte and yet if
you are you will not lay out for a quarrel I fansy The world or you will have better luck than your brother seems to have had will find you opportunities enow for exercising the tempers of both without your needing to study for occasions
Miss Gr Study for them Harriet I shant study for them neither They will come of course
Harriet I was about to ask a question—But tis better let alone
Miss Gr I will have it What was your question Dont you see what a goodnatured fool I am You may say any-thing to me I wont be angry
Harriet I was going to ask you If you were ever concernd two hours together for any fault you ever committed in your life
Miss Gr Yes yes yes and for twoandtwenty hours For sometimes the inconveniencies that followed my errors were not presently over as in a certain case which Ill be hangd if you have not in your head with that fly leer that shews the rogue in your heart But when I got rid of consequences no bird in spring was ever more blyth I carolled away every care at my harpsichord—But Emily will think me mad—Remember child that Miss Byron is the woman by whose mind you are to form yours Never regard me when she is in company—But now and she whimsically arose and opened the door and saying Begone shut it and coming to her place I have turned my folly out of door
Friday morn seven oclock
I HAVE written for these two days passed at every opportunity and for the two nights hardly knowing what sleepiness was two hours each night have contetned me I wonder whether I shall be summoned byandby to the proposed conference but I am equally sorry and apprehensive on occasion of the Letters which have given Sir Charles Grandison so
much anxiety Foreign Letters I doubt not—I wish this ugly word foreign were blotted out of my vocabulary out of my memory rather I never till of late was so narrowhearted—But that I have said before twenty times
I have written—How many sheets of paper—A monstrous Letter—Pacquet rather I will begin a new one with what shall offer this day Adieu till by and by my Lucy
Friday March 24
THE conference the impatiently expected conference my Lucy is over And what is the result—Take the account of it as it was brought on proceeded with and concluded Miss Grandison and her Lovers were not our only subjects I will soon be with you my dear—But Ill try to be as minute as I used to be notwithstanding
Notwithstanding what—
You shall hear Lucy
Sir Charles gave us his company at breakfast He entered with a kind of benign solemnity in his countenance but the benignity increased and the solemnity went off after a little while
My Lord said he was very sorry that he had met with any-thing to disturb him in the Letters that were brought him yesterday Emily joined by her eyes tho not in speech her concern with his Lordships Miss Grandison was sedately serious Lady L had expectation in her fine face and Dr Bartlett sat like a man that was determined to be silent I had apprehension and hope I suppose struggling in mine as I knew not whether to wish for the expected conference or not my cheeks as I felt in a glow
Let us think of nothing my Lord in this company said he but what is agreeable
He enquired kindly of my health and last nights rest because of a slight cold that had affected my voice Of Emily Why she was so sad Of Lady L and my Lord When they went to town Of Miss Grandison Why she looked so meditatingly that was his word—Dont you see Miss Byron said he that Charlotte looks as if she had not quite settled the humour she intends to be in for the next halfhour
Charlotte looks I believe Sir replied she as if she were determined to take her humour for the next halfhour from yours whether grave or airy
Then returned he I will not be grave because I will not have you so—May I hope madam byandby addressing himself to me for the honour of your hand to my Lords library
Sir I will—I will—attend you—hesitated the simpleton but she cant tell how she looked
Thus Lucy was the matter brought on
He conducted me to my Lords library—How did I struggle with myself for presence of mind What a mixture was there of tenderness and respect in his countenance and air
He seated me then took his place overagainst me▪ I believe I looked down and conscious and silly but there was such a respectful modesty in his looks that one could not be uneasy at being now and then with an air of languor as I thought contemplated by him Especially as whenever I reared my eyelids to cast a momentary look at him as he spoke I was always sure to see his eye withdrawn This gave more freedom to mine than it possibly otherwise could have had What a bold creature Lucy ought she to be who prefers a bold man If she be not bold how silly must she look under his staring confident eye How must her want of courage add to his and of course to his selfconsequence
Thus he began the subject we were to talk of
I will make no apology for requesting the favour of this conference with one of the most frank and openhearted young Ladies in the world I shall have the honour perhaps of detaining your ear on more than one subject How my heart throbbed But that which I shall begin with relates to my Lord G and our sister Charlotte I observe from hints thrown out by herself as well as from what Lady L said that she intends to encourage his addresses but it is easy to see that she thinks but slightly of him I am indeed apprehensive that she is rather induced to favour my Lord from an opinion that he has my interest and good wishes than from her own inclination I have told her more than once that hers are and shall be mine But such is her vivacity that it is very difficult for me to know her real mind I take it for granted that she prefers my Lord to Sir Walter
I believe Sir—But why should I say believe when Miss Grandison has commissioned me to own that Lord G is a man whom she greatly prefers to Sir Walter Watkyns
Does she can she do you think madam prefer Lord G not only to Sir Walter but to all the men whom she at present knows In other words, Is there any man that you think she would prefer to Lord G I am extremely sollicitous for my sisters happiness and the more because of her vivacity which I am afraid will be thought less to become the wife than the single woman
I dare say Sir that if Miss Grandison thought of any other man in preference to Lord G she would not encourage his addresses upon any account
I dont expect madam that a woman of Charlottes spirit and vivacity who has been disappointed by a sailure of supposed merit in her first Love if we may so call it should be deeply in love with a man that has not very striking qualities She can play
with a flame now and not burn her fingers Lord G is a worthy tho not a very brilliant man Ladies have eyes and the eye expects to be gratified Hence men of appearance succeed often where men of intrinsic merit fail Were Charlotte to consult her happiness possibly she would have no objection to Lord G She cannot in the same man have everything But if Lord G consulted his I dont know whether he would wish for Charlotte Excuse me madam you have heard as well as she my opinion of both men Sir Walter you say has no part in the question Lord G wants not understanding He is a man of probity he is a virtuous man a quality not to be despised in a young nobleman He is also a mild man He will bear a great deal But contempt or such a behaviour as should look like contempt in a wife what husband can bear I should much more dread for her sake the exasperated spirit of a meek man than the sudden gusts of anger of a passionate one
Miss Grandison Sir has authorized me to say That if you approve of Lord Gs addresses and will be so good as to take upon yourself the direction of everything relating to settlements she will be entirely governd by you Miss Grandison Sir has known Lord G some time His good character is well known And I dare answer that she will acquit herself with honour and prudence in every engagement but more especially in that which is the highest of all worldly ones
Pray madam may I ask If you know what she could mean by the questions she put in relation to Mr Beauchamp I think she has never seen him Does she suppose from his character that she could prefer him to Lord G
I believe Sir what she said in relation to that gentleman was purely the effect of her vivacity and which she never thought of before and probably
never will again Had she meant any-thing by it I dare say she would not have put the questions about him in the manner she did
I believe so I love my sister and I love my friend Mr Beauchamp has delicacy I could not bear for her sake that were she to behold him in the light hinted at he should imagine he had reason to think slightly of my sister for the correspondence she carried on in so private a manner with a man absolutely unworthy of her But I hope she meant nothing but to give way to that vein of raillery which when opened she knows not always how to stop
My spirits were not high I was forced to take out my handkerchief—O my dear Miss Grandison said I I was afraid she had forfeited partly at least what she holds most dear the good opinion of her brother
Forgive me madam tis a generous pain that I have made you suffer I adore you for it But I think I can reveal all the secrets of my heart to you Your noble frankness calls for equal frankness You would inspire it where it is not My sister as I told her more than once in your hearing has not lost any of my love I love her with all her faults but must not be blind to them Shall not praise and dispraise be justly given I have faults great faults myself What should I think of the man who called them virtues How dangerous would it be to me in that case were my opinion of his judgment joined to selfpartiality to lead me to believe him and acquit my self
This Sir is a manner of thinking worthy of Sir Charles Grandison
It is worthy of every man my good Miss Byron
But Sir it would be very hard that an indiscretion I must own it to be such should fasten reproach upon a woman who recovered herself so soon and whose virtue was never sullied or in danger
Indeed it would And therefore it was in tenderness
to her that I intimated that I never could think of promoting an alliance with a man of his nice notions were both to incline to it
I hope Sir that my dear Miss Grandison will run no risque of being slighted by any other man▪ from a step which has cost her so dear in her peace of mind—I hesitated and looked down
I know madam what you mean Altho I love my friend Beauchamp above all men yet would I do Lord G or any other man as much justice as I would do him I was so apprehensive of my sisters indifference to Lord G and of the difference in their tempers tho both good that I did my utmost to dissuade him from thinking of her And when I found that his love was fixed beyond the power of dissuasion I told him of the affair between her and Captain Anderson and how lately I had put an end to it He flattered himself that the indifference with which she had hitherto received his addresses was principally owing to the difficulty of her situation which being now so happily removed he had hopes of meeting with encouragement and doubted not if he did of making a merit with her by his affection and gratitude And now madam give me your opinion—Do you think Charlotte can be won I hope she can by indulgence by Love Let me caution her by you madam that it is fit she should still more restrain herself if she marry a man to whom she thinks she has superior talents than she need do if the difference were in his favour
Permit me to add That if she should shew herself capable of returning slight for tenderness of taking such liberties with a man who loves her after she had given him her vows as should depreciate him and of consequence herself in the eye of the world I should be apt to forget that I had more than one sister For in cases of right and wrong we ought not to know either relation or friend
Does not this man Lucy shew us that goodness and greatness are synonymous words
I think Sir replied I that if Lord G prove the goodnatured man he seems to be if he dislike not that brilliancy of temper in his Lady which he seems not to value himself upon tho he may have qualities at least equally valuable I have no doubt but Miss Grandison will make him very happy For has she not great and good qualities Is she not generous and perfectly good natured You know Sir that she is And can it be supposed that her charming vivacity will ever carry her so far beyond the bounds of prudence and discretion as to make her forget what the nature of the obligation she will have entered into requires of her
Well madam then I may rejoice the heart of Lord G by telling him that he is at liberty to visit my sister at her coming to town or if she come not soon for he will be impatient to wait on her at Colnebrooke
I dare say you may Sir
As to articles and settlements I will undertake for all those things But be pleased to tell her that she is absolutely at her own liberty for me If she shall think when she sees farther of Lord Gs temper and behaviour that she cannot esteem him as a wife ought to esteem her husband I shall not be concerned if she dismiss him provided that she keeps him not on in suspence after she knows her own mind but behaves to him according to the example set her by the best of women
I could not but know to whom he designed this compliment and had like to have bowed but was glad I did not
Well madam and now I think this subject is concluded I have already written a Letter to Sir Walter as at the request of my sister to put an end in the civillest terms to his hopes My Lord G will be
impatient for my return to town I shall go with the more pleasure because of the joy I shall be able to give him
You must be very happy Sir since besides the pleasure you take in doing good for its own sake you are intitled to partake in a very high manner of the pleasures of every one you know
He was so nobly modest Lucy that I could talk to him with more confidence than I believed at my entrance into my Lords study would fall to my share And I had besides been led into a presence of mind by being made a person of some consequence in the Lovecase of another But I was soon to have my whole attention engaged in a subject still nearer to my heart as you shall hear
Indeed madam said he I am not very happy in myself Is it not right then to endeavour by promoting the happiness of others to intitle myself to a share of theirs
If you are not happy Sir—and I stopt I believe sighed I looked down I took out my handkerchief for fear I should want it
There seems said he to be a mixture of generous concern and kind curiosity in one of the loveliest and most intelligent faces in the world My sisters have in your presence expressed a great deal of the latter Had I not been myself in a manner uncertain as to the event that must in some measure govern my future destiny I would have gratified it especially as my Lord L has of late joined in it The crisis I told them however as perhaps you remember was at hand
I do remember you said so Sir And indeed Lucy it was more than perhaps I had not thought of any words half so often since he spoke them
The crisis madam is at hand And I had not intended to open my lips upon the subject till it was over except to Dr Bartlett who knows the whole
affair and indeed every affair of my life But as I hinted before my heart is opened by the frankness of yours If you will be sogood as to indulge me I will briefly lay before you a few of the difficulties of my situation and leave it to you to communicate or not at your pleasure what I shall relate to my two sisters and Lord L You four seem to be animated by one soul
I am extremely concerned Sir—I am very much concerned—repeated the trembling simpl•ton one cheek feeling to myself very cold the other glowingly warm by turns and now pale now crimson perhaps to the eye that any-thing should make you unhappy But Sir I shall think myself favoured by your confidence
I am interrupted in my recital of his affecting narration Dont be impatient Lucy I almost wi•h I had not myself heard it
I DO not intend madam to trouble you with an history of all that part of my life which I was obliged to pass abroad from about the Seventeenth to near the Twentyfifth year of my age tho perhaps it has been as busy a period as could well be in the life of a man so young and who never sought to trea• in oblique or crooked paths After this en•rance into it Dr Bartlett shall be at liberty to satisfy your curiosity in a more particular manner for he and I have corresponded for years with an intim cy that has few examples between a youth and a man in advanced life And here let me own the advantage▪ I have received from his condescension for I found the following questions often occur to me and to be of the highest service in the conduct of my life—
What
account shall I give of this to Dr Bartlett
How were I to give way to this temptation shall I report it to Dr Bartlett—Or Shall I be an hypocrite and only inform him of the best and meanly conceal from him the worst
Thus madam was Dr Bartlett in the place of a second conscience to me And many a good thing did I do many a bad one avoid for having set up such a monitor over my conduct And it was the more necessary that I should as I am naturally passionate proud ambitious and as I had the honour of being early distinguished Pardon madam the seeming vanity by a sex of which no man was ever a greater admirer and possibly the more distinguished as for my safetysake I was as studious to decline intimacy with the gay ones of it however dignified by rank or celebrated for beauty as most young men are to cultivate their favour
Nor is it so much to be wondered at that I had advantages which everyone who travels has not Residing for some time at the principal courts and often visiting the same places in the length of time I was abroad I was considered in a manner as a native at the same time that I was treated with the respect that is generally paid to travellers of figure as well in France as Italy I was very genteelly supported I stood in high credit with my countrymen to whom I had many ways of being serviceable They made known to everybody my fathers affection for me his magnificent spirit the antient families on both sides from which I was descended I kept the best company avoided intrigues made not myself obnoxious to serious or pious people tho I scrupled not to avow when called upon my own principles From all these advantages I was respected beyond my degree
I should not madam have been thus lavish in my own praise but to account to you for the favour I
stood in with several families of the first rank and to suggest an excuse for more than one of them which thought it no disgrace to wish me to be allied with them
Lord L mentioned to you madam and my sisters a Florentine Lady by the name of OLIVIA She is indeed a woman of high qualities nobly born gonerous amiable in her features genteel in her person and mistress of a great fortune in possession which is entirely at her own disposal having not father mother brother or other near relations The first time I saw her was at the opera An opportunity offered in her sight where a Lady insulted by a Lover made desperate by her just refusal of him claimed and received my protection What I did on the occasion was generally applauded Olivia in particular spoke highly of it Twice afterwards I saw her in company where I was a visiter I had not the presumption to look up to her with hope but my countryman Mr Jervois gave me to understand that I might be master of my own fortune with Lady Olivia I pleaded difference of religion He believed he said that matter might be made easy—But could I be pleased with the change would she have made it when passion not conviction was likely to be the motive—There could be no objection to her person Nobody questioned her virtue but she was violent and imperious in her temper I had never left MIND out of my notions of love I could not have been happy with her had she been queen of the globe I had the mortification of being obliged to declare myself to the Ladys face It was a mortification to me as much for her sake as my own I was obliged to leave Florence upon it for some time having been apprized that the spirit of revenge had taken place of a gentler passion and that I was in danger fromit
How often did I lament the want of that refuge in a
fathers arms and in my native country which subjected me to evils that were more than a match for my tender years and to all the inconveniencies that can attend a banished man Indeed I often considered myself in this light and as the inconveniencies happened was ready to repine and the more ready as I could not afflict myself with the thought of having forfeited my fathers love on the contrary as the constant instances which I received of his paternal goodness made me still more earnest to acknowlege it at his feet
Ought I to have forborn Lucy shewing a sensibility at my eyes on this affecting instance of filial gratitude If I ought I wish I had had more command of myself But consider my dear the affecting subject we were upon I was going to apologize for the trickling tear and to have said as I truly might Your filial goodness Sir affects me But with the consciousness that must have accompanied the words would not that to so nice a discerner have been to own that I thought the tender emotion wanted an apology These little tricks of ours Lucy may satisfy our own punctilio and serve to keep us in countenance with ourselves and that indeed is doing something but to a penetrating eye they tend only to shew that we imagined a cover a veil wanting and what is that veil but a veil of gauze
What makes me so much afraid of this mans discernment Am I not an honest girl Lucy
He proceeded
From this violent Lady I had great trouble and to this day—But this part of my story I leave to Dr Bartlett to acquaint you with I mention it as a matter that yet gives me concern for her sake and as what I find has given some amusement to my sister Charlottes curiosity
Bu• I hasten to the affair which of all others has most embarrassed me and which engaging my compassion
tho my honour is free gives torture to my very soul
I found myself not well—I thought I should have fainted—The apprehension of his taking it as I wished him not to take it for indeed Lucy I dont think it was that made me worse Had I been myself this faintishness might have come over my heart I am sure it was not that But it seized me at a very unlucky moment youll say
With a countenance full of tender concern he caught my hand and rang In ran his Emily My dear Miss Jervois said I leaning upon her—Excuse me Sir—And I withdrew to the door And when there finding my faintishness going off I turned to him who attended me thither I am better Sir already I will return instantly I must beg of you to proceed with your interesting story
I was well the moment I was out of the Study It was kept too warm I believe and I sat too near the fire That was it to be sure and I said so on my return which was the moment I had drank a glass of cold water
How tender was his regard for me He did not abash me by causlesly laying my disorder on his story and by offering to discontinue or postpone it Indeed Lucy it was not owing to that I should easily have distinguished it if it had On the contrary as I am not generally so much affected at the moment when any-thing unhappy befals me as I am upon reflexion when I extend compare and weigh consequences I was quite brave in my heart Any-thing, thought I is better than suspense Now will my fortitude have a call to exert itself; and I warrant I bear as well as he an evil that is inevitable At this instant this trying instant however I found myself thus brave So my dear it was nothing but the too great warmth of the room which overcame me
I endeavoured to assume all my courage and desired
him to proceed but held by the arm of my chair to steady me lest my little tremblings should increase The faintness had left some little tremblings upon me Lucy and one would not care you know to be thought affected by any-thing in his story He proceeded
AT Bologna and in the neighbourhood of Urbino are seated two branches of a noble family marquises and counts of Porretta which boasts its pedigree from Roman princes and has given to the church two cardinals one in the latter age the other in the beginning of this
The Marchese della Poretta who resides in Bologna is a nobleman of great merit His Lady is illustrious by descent and still more so for her goodness of heart sweetness of temper and prudence They have three sons and a daughter—
Ah that daughter thought I
The eldest of the sons is a general officers in the service of the king of the two Sicilies a man of equal honour and bravery but passionate and haughty valuing himself on his descent The second is devoted to the church and is already a Bishop The interest of his family and his own merits it is not doubted will one day if he lives give him a place in the sacred college The third Signor Jeronymo or as he is sometimes called the Barone della Porretta has a regiment in the service of the king of Sardinia The sister is the favourite of them all She is lovely in her person gentle in her manners and has high but just notions of the nobility of her descent of the honour of her sex and of what is due to her own character She is pious charitable beneficent Her three brothers preferred her interests to their own Her father used to call her The pride of his life her mother Her other self her own Clementina
CLEMENTINA—Ah Lucy what a pretty name is Clementina
I became intimate with Signor Jeronymo at Rome near two years before I had the honour to be known to the rest of his family except by his report which he made run very high in my favour He was master of many fine qualities but had contracted friendship with a set of dissolute young men of rank with whom he was very earnest to make me acquainted I allowed myself to be often in their company but as they were totally abandoned in their morals it was in hopes by degrees to draw him from them But a love of pleasure had got fast hold of him and his other companions prevailed over his goodnature He had courage but not enough to resist their libertine attacks upon his morals
Such a friendship could not hold while each stood his ground and neither would advance to meet the other In short we parted nor held a correspondence in absence But afterwards meeting by accident at Padua and Jeronymo having in the interim been led into inconveniencies he avowed a change of principles and the friendship was renewed
It however held not many months A Lady less celebrated for virtue than beauty obtained an influence over him against warning against promise
On being expostulated with and his promise claimed he resented the friendly freedom He was passionate and on this occasion less polite than it was natural for him to be He even defied his friend My dear Jeronymo how generously has he acknowleged since the part his friend at that time acted But the result was they parted resolving never more to see each other
Jeronymo pursued the adventure which had occasioned the difference and one of the Ladys admirers envying him his supposed success hired Brescian bravoes to assassinate him
The attempt was made in the Cremonese They had got him into their toils in a little thicket at some
distance from the road I attended by two servants happened to be passing when a frighted horse ran across the way his bridle broken and his saddle bloody This making me apprehend some mischief to the rider I drove down the opening he came from and soon beheld a man struggling on the ground with two ruff•ans one of whom was just stopping his mouth the other stabbing him I leapt out of the postchaise and drew my sword running towards them as fast as I could and calling to my servants to follow me indeed calling as if I had a number with me in order to alarm them On this they fled and I heard them say Let us make off we have done his business Incensed at the villainy I pursued and came up with one of them who turned upon me I beat down his trombone a kind of blunderbuss just as he presented it at me and had wounded and thrown him on the ground but seeing the other russian turning back to help his fellow and on a sudden two others appearing with their horses I thought it best to retreat tho I would sain have secured one of them My servants then seeing my danger hastened shouting towards me The bravoes perhaps apprehending there were more than two seemed as glad to get off with their rescued companion as I was to retire I hastened then to the unhappy man But how much was I surprised whe• I found him to be the Barone della Porretta who in disguise had been actually pursuing his amour
He gave signs of life I instantly dispatched one of my servants to Cremona for a surgeon I bound up mean time as well as I could two of his wounds one in his shoulder the other in his breast He had one in his hipjoint that disabled him from helping himself and which I found beyond my skill to do anything with only endeavouring with my handkerchief to stop its bleeding I helped him into my chaise stept in with him and held him up in it till one of my men told me they had in another part of
the thicket found his servant bound and wounded his horse lying dead by his side I then alighted and put the poor fellow into the chaise he being stiff with his hurts and unable to stand
I walked by the side of it and in this manner moved towards Cremona in order to shorten the way of the expected surgeon
My servant soon returned with one Jeronymo had sainted away The surgeon dressed him and proceeded with him to Cremona Then it was that opening his eyes he beheld and knew me and being told by the sugeon that he owed his preservation to me O Grandison said he that I had followed your advice that I had kept my promise with you—How did I insult you—Can my deliverer forgive me You shall be the director of my future life if it please God to restore me
His wounds proved not mortal but he never will be the man he was Partly from his having been unskilfully treated by this his first surgeon and partly from his own impatience and the difficulty of curing the wound in his hipjoint Excuse this particularity madam The subject requires it and Signor Jeronymo now deserves it and all your pity
I attended him at Cremona till he was fit to remove He was visited there by his whole family from Bologna There never was a family more affectionate to one another: The suffering of one is the suffering of every one The Barone was exceedingly beloved by his father mother sister for the sweetness of his manners his affectionate heart and a wit so delightfully gay and lively that his company was sought by everybody
You will easily believe madam from what I have said how acceptable to the whole family the service was which I had been so happy as to render their Jeronymo They all joined to bless me and the more when they came to know that I was the person
whom their Jeronymo in the days of our intimacy had highly extolled in his Letters to his sister and to both brothers and who now related to them by word of mouth the occasion of the coldness that had passed between us with circumstances as honourable for me as the contrary for himself Such were his penitential confessions in the desperate condition to which he found himself reduced
He now as I attended by his bed or his couchside frequently called for a repetition of those arguments which he had till now derided He besought me to forgive him for treating them before with levity and me with disrespect next as he said to insult And he begged his family to consider me not only as the preserver of his life but as the restorer of his morals This gave the whole family the highest opinion of mine and still more to strengthen it the generous youth produced to them tho as I may say at his own expence for his reformation was sincere a Letter which I wrote to lie by him in hopes to enforce his temporary convictions for he had a noble nature and a lively sense of what was due to his character and to the love and piety of his parents the Bishop and his sister tho he was loth to think he could be wrong in those pursuits in which he was willing to indulge himself
Never was there a more grateful family The noble father was uneasy because he know not how to acknowlege according to the largeness of his heart to a man in genteel circumstances the obligation laid upon them all The mother with a freedom more amiably great than the Italian Ladies are accustomed to express bid her Clementina regard as her fourth brother the preserver of the third The Barone declared that he should never rest nor recover till he had got me rewarded in such manner as all the world should think I had honour done me in it
When the Barone was removed to Bologna the
whole family were studious to make occasions to get me among them The General made me promise when my relations as he was pleased to express himself at Bologna could part with me to give him my company at Naples The Bishop who passed all the time he had to spare from his diocese at Bologna and who is a learned man in compliment to his fourth brother would have me initiate him into the knowlege of the English tongue
Our Milton has deservedly a name among them The friendship that there was between him and a learned nobleman of their country endeared his memory to them Milton therefore was a principal author with us Our lectures were usually held in the chamber of the wounded brother in order to divert him He also became my scholar The father and mother were often present and at such times their Clementina was seldom absent She also called me her tutor and tho she was not half so often present at the lectures as they were made a greater proficiency than either of her brothers
Do you doubt it Lucy
The father as well as the Bishop is learned the mother well read She had had the benefit of a French education being brought up by her uncle who resided many years at Paris in a public character And her daughter had under her own eye advantages in her education which are hardly ever allowed or sought after by the Italian Ladies In such company you may believe madam that I who was kept abroad against my wishes passed my time very agreeably I was particularly honoured with the confidence of the Marchioness who opened her heart to me and consulted me on every material occurrence Her Lord who is one of the politest of men was never better pleased than when he found us together and not seldom tho we were not engaged in lectures the fair
Clementina claimed a right to be where her mother was
About this time the young Count of Belvedere returned to Parma in order to settle in his native country His father was a favourite in the court of the princess of Parma and attended that Lady to Madrid on her marriage with the late king of Spain where he held a very considerable post and lately died there immensely rich On a visit to this noble family the young Lord saw and loved Clementina
The Count of Belvedere is a handsome a gallant a sensible man his fortune is very great Such an alliance was not to be slighted The Marquis gave his countenance to it The Marchioness favoured me with several conversations upon the subject She was of opinion perhaps that it was necessary to know my thoughts on this occasion for the younger brother unknown to me declared that he thought there was no way of rewarding my merits to the family but by giving me a relation to it Dr Bartlett madam can shew you from my Letters to him some conversations which will convince you that in Italy as well as in other countries there are persons of honour of goodness of generosity and who are above reserve vindictiveness jealousy and those other bad passions by which some persons mark indiscriminately a whole nation
For my own part it was impossible distinguished as I was by every individual of this noble family and lovely as is this daughter of it mistress of a thousand good qualities and myself absolutely disengaged in my affections that my vanity should not sometimes be awakened and a wish arise that there might be a possibility of obtaining such a prize But I checked the vanity the moment I could find it begin to play about and warm my heart To have attempted to recommend myself to the young Ladys favour tho
but by looks by assiduities I should have thought an infamous breach of the trust and confidence they all reposed in me
The pride of a family so illustrious in its descent their fortunes unusually high for the country which by the goodness of their hearts they adorned the relation they bore to the church my foreign extraction and interest the Ladys exalted merits which made her of consequence to the hearts of several illustrious youths before the Count of Belvedere made known his passion for her none of which the fond family thought worthy of their Clementina nor any of whom could engage her heart but above all the difference in religion the young Lady so remarkably stedfast in hers that it was with the utmost difficulty they could restrain her from assuming the veil and who once declared in anger on hearing me when called upon avow my principles that she grudged to an heretic the glory of having saved the Barone della Poretta all these considerations outweighed any hopes that might otherwise have arisen in a bosom so sensible of the favours they were continually heaping upon me
About the same time the troubles now so happily appeased broke out in Scotland Hardly any thing else was talked of in Italy but the progress and supposed certainty of success of the young invader I was often obliged to stand the triumphs and exultations of persons of rank and figure being known to be warm in the interest of my country I had a good deal of this kind of spirit to contend with even in this more moderate Italian family and this frequently brought on debates which I would gladly have avoided holding But it was impossible Every new advice from England revived the disagreeable subject for the success of the rebels it was not doubted would be attended with the restoration of what they called the Catholic religion And Clementina particularly
pleased herself that then her heretic tutor would take refuge in the bosom of his holy mother the church And she delighted to say things of this nature in the language I was teaching her and which by this time she spoke very intelligibly
I took a resolution hereupon to leave Italy for a while and to retire to Vienna or to some one of the German courts that was less interested than they were in Italy in the success of the Chevaliers undertaking and I was the more desirous to do so as the displeasure of Olivia against me began to grow serious and to be talked of even by herself with less discretion than was consistent with her high spirit her noble birth and ample fortune
I communicated my intention to the Marchioness first The noble Lady expressed her concern at the thoughts of my quitting Italy and engaged me to put off my departure for some weeks but at the same time hinted to me with an explicitness that is peculiar to her her apprehensions and her Lords that I was in Love with her Clementina I convinced her of my honour in this particular and she so well satisfied the Marquis in this respect that on their daughters absolute refusal of the Count of Belvedere they confided in me to talk to her in favour of that gentleman The young Lady and I had a conference upon the subject Dr Bartlett can give you the particulars The father and mother unknown to us both had placed themselves in a closet adjoining to the room we were in and which communicated to another as well as to that They had no reason to be dissatisfied with what they heard me say to their daughter
The time of my departure from Italy drawing near and the young Lady repeatedly refusing the Count of Belvidere the younger brother still unknown to me for he doubted not but I should rejoice at the honour he hoped to prevail upon them to do me declared in
my favour They objected the more obvious difficulties in relation to religion and my country He desired to be commissioned to talk to me on those subjects and to his sister on her motives for refusing the Count of Belvedere but they would not hear of his speaking to me on this subject the Marchioness giving generous reasons on my behalf for her joining in the refusal and undertaking herself to talk to her daughter and to demand of her her reasons for rejecting every proposal that had been made her
She accordingly closetted her Clementina She could get nothing from her but tears A silence without the least appearance of sullenness had for some days before shewn that a deep melancholy had begun to lay hold of her heart She was however offended when Love was attributed to her yet her mother told me that she could not but suspect that she was under the dominion of that passion without knowing it and the rather as she was never chearful but when she was taking lessons for learning a tongue that never as the Marchioness said was likely to be of use to her
As the Marchioness said—Ah my Lucy
The melancholy increased Her tutor as he was called was desired to talk to her He did It was a task put upon him that had its difficulties It was observed that she generally assumed a chearful air while she was with him but said little yet seemed pleased with everything he said to her and the little she did answer tho he spoke in Italian or French was in her newlyacquired language But the moment he was gone her countenance fell and she was studious to find opportunities to get from company
What think you of my sortitude Lucy Was I not a good girl But my curiosity kept up my spirits When I come to reflect thought I I shall have it all upon my pillow
Her parents were in the deepest affliction They consulted physicians who all pronounced her malady to be Love She was taxed with it and all the indulgence promised her that her heart could wish as to the object; but still she could not with patience bear the imputation Once she asked her woman who told her that she was certainly in Love Would you have me hate myself—Her mother talked to her of the passion in favourable terms and as laudable She heard her with attention but made no answer
The evening before the day I was to set out for Germany the family made a sumptuous entertainment in honour of a guest on whom they had conferred so many favours They had brought themselves to approve of his departure the more readily as they were willing to see whether his absence would affect their Clementina and if it did in what manner
They left it to her choice Whether she would appear at table or not She chose to be there They all rejoiced at her recovered spirits She was exceeding chearful She supported her part of the conversation during the whole evening with her usual vivacity and good sense insomuch that I wished to myself I had departed sooner Yet it is surprising thought I that this young Lady who seemed always to be pleased and even since these resveries have had power over her to be most chearful in my company should rejoice in my departure should seem to owe her recovery to it a departure which every one else kindly regrets And yet there was nothing in her behaviour or looks that appeared in the least affected When acknowlegements were made to me of the pleasure I had given to the whole family she joined in them When my health and happiness were wished she added her wishes by chearful bows as she sat When they wished to see me again before I went to England she did the same So that my heart was
dilated I was overjoyed to see such an happy alteration When I took leave of them she stood forward to receive my compliments with a polite French freedom I offered to pres• her hand with my lips My brothers deliverer said she must not affect this distance and in manner offered her cheek adding God preserve my tutor whereever he set his foot and in English God convert you too Chevalier May you never want such an agreeable friend as you have been to us
Signor Jeronymo was not able to be with us I went up to take leave of him O my Grandison said he and flung his arms about my neck and will you go—Blessings attend you—But what will become of a brother and sister when they have lost you
You will rejoice me replied I if you will favour me with a few lines by a servant whom I shall leave behind me for a few days and who will find me at Inspruck to let me know how you all do and whether your sisters health continues
She must she shall be yours said he if I can manage it Why why will you leave us
I was surprised to hear him say this He had never before been so particular
That cannot cannot be said I There are a thousand obstacles—
All of which rejoined he that depend upon us I doubt not to overcome Your heart is not with Olivia
They all knew from that Ladys indiscretion of the proposals that had been made me relating to her and of my declining them I assured him that my heart was free
We agreed upon a correspondence and I took leave of one of the most grateful of men
But how much was I afflicted when I received at Inspruck the expected Letter which acquainted me that this sunshine lasted no longer than the next day
The young Ladys malady returned with redoubled force Shall I madam briefly relate to you the manner in which as her brother wrote it operated upon her
She shut herself up in her chamber not seeming to regard or know that her woman was in it nor did she answer to two or three questions that her woman asked her but setting her chair with its back towards her overagainst a closet in the room after a profound silence she bent forwards and in a low voice seemed to be communing with a person in the closet—
And you say he is actually gone Gone for ever No not for ever
Who gone madam said her woman To whom do you direct your discourse
We were all obliged to him no doubt So bravely to rescue my brother and to pursue the bravoes and as my brother says to put him in his own chaise and walk on foot by the side of it—Why as you say assassins might have murdered him The horses might have trampled him under their feet
Still looking as if she was speaking to somebody in the closet
Her woman stept to the closet and opened the door and left it open to take off her attention to the place and to turn the course of her ideas but still she bent forwards towards and talked calmly as if to somebody in it Then breaking into a faint laugh
In Love—that is such a silly notion: And yet I love everybody better than I love myself
Her mother came into the room just then The young Lady arose in haste and shut the closetdoor as if she had somebody hid there and throwing herself at her mothers feet My dear my everhonoured mama said she forgive me for all the trouble I have caused you—But I will I must you cant deny me I will be Gods child as well as yours I will go into a nunnery
It came out afterwards that her confessor taking advantage of confessions extorted from her of regard for her tutor tho only such as a sister might bear to a brother but which he had suspected might come to be of consequence had filled her tender mind with terrors that had thus affected her head She is as I have told you madam a young Lady of exemplary piety
I will not dwell on a scene so melancholy How I afflict your tender heart my good Miss Byron
Do you think Lucy I did not weep—Indeed I did—Poor young Lady—But my mind was fitted for the indulging of scenes so melancholy Pray Sir proceed said I What a heart must that be which bleeds not for such a distress Pray Sir proceed
Be it Dr Bartletts task to give you further particulars I will be briefer—I will not indulge my own grief
All that medicine could do was tried But her confessor who however, is an honest a worthy man kept up her fears and terrors He saw the favour her tutor was in with the whole family He knew that the younger brother had declared for rewarding him in a very high manner He had more than once put this favoured man upon an avowal of his principles and betwixt her piety and her gratitude had raised such a conflict as her tender nature could not bear
At Florence lives a family of high rank and honour the Ladies of which have with them a friend noted for the excellency of her heart and her genius and who having been robbed of her fortune early in life by an uncle to whose care she was committed by her dying father was received both as a companion and a blessing by the Ladies of the family she has now for many years lived with She is an English woman and a Protestant but so very discreet that her being so tho at first they hoped to proselyte her gives
them not a less value for her and yet they are all zealous Roman Catholics These two Ladies and this their companion were visiting one day at the Marchese della Porrettas and there the distressed mother told them the mournful tale The Ladies who think nothing that is within the compass of human prudence impossible to their dear Mrs BEAUMONT wished that the young Lady might be entrusted for a week to her care at their own house at Florence
It was consented to as soon as proposed and Lady Clementina was as willing to go there having always been an intimacy between the families and she as everybody else having an high opinion of Mrs Beaumont They took her with them on the day they set out for Florence
Here again for shortening my story I will refer to Dr Bartlett Mrs Beaumont went to the bottom of the malady She gave her advice to the family upon it They were resolved Signor Jeronymo supporting her advice to be governed by it The young Lady was told that she should be indulged in all her wishes She then acknowleged what those were and was the easier for the acknowlegement and for the advice of such a prudent friend and returned to Bologna Mrs Beaumont accompanying her much more composed than when she left it The tutor was sent for by common consent for there had been a convention of the whole family the Urbino branch as well as the General being present There the terms to be proposed to the supposed happy man were settled but they were not to be mentioned to him till after he had seen the Lady A wrong policy surely
He was then at Vienna Signor Jeronymo in his Letter congratulated him in high terms as a man whom he had it now at last in his power to reward And he hinted in general that the conditions would be such as it was impossible but he must find his very
great advantage in them As to fortune to be sure he meant
The friend so highly valued could not but be affected with the news Yet knowing the Lady and the family he was afraid that the articles of Residence and Religion would not be easily compromised between them He therefore summoned up all his prudence to keep his fears alive and his hope in suspense
He arrived at Bologna He was permitted to pay his compliments to Lady Clementina in her mothers presence How agreeable how nobly frank was the reception from both mother and daughter How high ran the congratulations of Jeronymo He called the supposed happy man brother The Marquis was ready to recognize the fourth son in him A great fortune additional to an estate bequeathed her by her twograndfathers was proposed My father was to be invited over to grace the nuptials by his presence
But let me cut short the rest The terms could not be complied with For I was to make a formal renunciation of my religion and to settle in Italy only once in two or three years was allowed if I pleased for two or three months to go to England and as a visit of curiosity once in her life if their daughter desired it to carry her thither for a time to be limited by them
What must be my grief to be obliged to disappoint such expectations as were raised by persons who had so sincere a value for me You cannot madam imagine my distress So little as could be expected to be allowed by them to the principles of a man whom they supposed to be in an error that would inevitably cast him into perdition But when the friendly brothe implored my compliance when the excellent mother in effect besought me to have pity on her heart and on her childs head and when the tender the amiable Clementina putting herself out of the question urged me for my souls sake to embrace the doctrines of her holy mother the church—What madam—But how I grieve you
He stopt His handkerchief was of use to him as mine was to me—What a distress was here
And what and what Sir sobbing was the result Could you could you resist
Satisfied in my own faith Entirely satisfied Having insuperable objections to that I was wished to embrace—A lover of my native country too—Were not my God and my Country to be the sacrifice if I complied But I laboured I studied for a compromise I must have been unjust to Clementinas merit and to my own Character had she not been dear to me And indeed I beheld graces in her then that I had before resolved to shut my eyes against her Rank next to princely her Fortune high as her rank Religion Country all so many obstacles that had appeared to me insuperable removed by themselves and no apprehension left of a breach of the laws of hospitality which had ti l now made me struggle to behold one of the most amiable and nobleminded of women with indifference—I offered to live one year in Italy one in England by turns if their dear Clementina would live with me there if not I would content myself with passing only three months in every year in my native country I proposed to leave her entirely at her liberty in the article of religion and in case of children by the marriage the daughters to be educated by her the sons by me a condition to which his Holiness himself it was presumed would not refuse his sanction as there were precedents for it This madam was a great sacrifice to Compassion to Love—What could I more
And would not Sir would not Clementina consent to this compromise
Ah the unhappy Lady It is this reflexion that strengthens my grief She would have consented She was earnest to procure the consent of her friends upon these terms This her earnestness in my favour devoted as she was to her religion excites my compassion and calls for my gratitude
What scenes what distressful scenes followed—
The noble father forgot his promised indulgence the mother indeed seemed in a manner neutral the youngest brother was still however firm in my cause but the Marquis the General the Bishop and the whole Urbino branch of the family were not to be moved and the less as they considered the alliance as highly honourable to me a private an obscure man as now they began to call me as derogatory to their own honour In short I was allowed I was desired to depart from Bologna and not suffered to take my leave of the unhappy Clementina tho on her knees she begged to be allowed a parting interview—And what was the consequence—Dr Bartlett must tell the rest—Unhappy Clementina—Now they wish me to make them one more visit at Bologna—Unhappy Clementina—To what purpose
I saw his noble heart was too much affected to answer questions had I had voice to ask any
But O my friends you see how it is Can I be so unhappy as he is As his Clementina is Well might Dr Bartlett say that this excellent man is not happy Well might he himself say that he has suffered greatly even from good women Well might he complain of sleepless nights Unhappy Clementina let me repeat after him and not happy Sir Charles Grandison—and who my dear is happy Not I am sure
Your HARRIET BYRON
I WAS forced to lay down my pen I will begin a new Letter I did not think of concluding my former where I did
Sir Charles saw me in grief and forgot his own to applaud my humanity as he called it and sooth me
I have often said he referred you in my narrative to Dr Bartlett I will beg of him to let you see anything you shall wish to see in the free and unreserved correspondence we have held You that love to entertain your friends with your narrations will find something perhaps in a story like this to engage their curiosity On their honour and candor I am sure I may depend Are they not your frien•• Would to heaven it were in my power to contribu•• to their pleasure and yours
I only bowed I could only bow
I told you madam that my Compassion was engaged but that any Honour was free I think it 〈◊〉 But when you have seen all that Dr Bartlett will shew you you will be the better able to judge of me and for me I had rather be thought favourably of by Miss Byron than by any woman in the world
Who Sir said I knowing only so far as I know of the unhappy Clementina but must wish her to be—
Ah Lucy there I stopt—I had like to have been a false girl—And yet ought I not from my heart to have been able to say what I was going to say—I do aver Lucy upon repeated experience that Love is a narrower of the heart Did I not use to be thought generous and benevolent and to be above all selfishness But am I so now
And now madam said he and he was going to take my hand but with an air as if he thought the freedmo would be too great—A tenderness so speaking in his eyes a respectfulness so solemn in his countenance he just touched it and withdrew his hand What shall I say—I cannot tell what I should say—But you I see can pity me—You can pity the noble Clementina—Honour forbids me—Yet honour bids me—Yet I cannot be unjust ungenerous—selfish—
He arose from his seat—Allow me madam to thank you for the favour of your ear—Pardon me for
the trouble I see I have given to an heart that is capable of a sympathy so tender—
And bowing low he withdrew with precipitation as if he would not let me see his emotion He left me looking here looking there as if for my heart and then as giving it up for irrecoverable I became for a few moments motionless and a statue
A violent burst of tears recovered me to sense and motion and just then Miss Grandison who having heard her brother withdraw forbore for a few minutes to enter supposing he would return hearing me sob rushed in—O my Harriet said she clasping her arms about me What is done—Do I or do I not embrace my sister my real sister my sister Grandison
Ah my Charlotte No slattering hope is now left me—No sister It must not it cannot be The Lady is—But lead me lead me out of this room—I dont love it spreading one hand before my eyes my tears trickling between my fingers—Tears that flowed not only for myself but for Sir Charles Grandison and the unhappy Clementina For gather you not from what he said that something disastrous has befallen the poor Lady And then supporting myself with her arm I hurried out of Lord Ls Study and up stairs into my own chamber she following me—Leave me leave me here dear creature said I for six minutes I will attend you then in your own dressingroom
She kindly retired I threw myself into a chair indulged my tears for a few moments and was the fitter to receive the two sisters who handinhand came into my room to comfort me
But I could not relate what had passed immediately with any connexion I told them only that all was over that their brother was to be pitied not blamed And that if they would allow me to recollect some things that were most affecting I would attend them
and they should have my narrative the more exact for the indulgence
They stayed no longer with me than to see me a little composed
Sir Charles and Dr Bartlett went out together in his chariot He enquired more than once of my health saying to his sister Charlotte That he was afraid he had affected me too much by the melancholy tale he had been telling me
He excused himself from dining with us Poor man What must be his distress—Not able to see to sit with us
I would have excused myself also being not very fit to appear but was not permitted
I sat however but a very little while at table after dinner and how tedious did the dinnertime appear The servants eyes were irksome to me so were Emilys dear girl glistening as they did tho she knew not for what but sympathetically as I may say she supposing that all was not as she would have it
She came up soon after to me—One word my dearest madam the door in her hand and her head only within it Tell me only that there is no misunderstanding between my guardian and you—Tell me only that—
None my dear—None none at all my Emily
Thank God clasping her hands together thank God—If there were I should not have known whose part to take—But I wont disturb you—And was going
Stay stay my precious young friend Stay my Emily—I arose took her hand My sweet girl say Will you live with me
God for ever bless you dearest madam—Will I It is the wish next my heart
Will you go down with me to Northamptonshire my love
To the worlds end I will attend you madam I
will be your handmaid and I will love you better than I love my guardian if possible
Ah my dear but how will you live without seeing your guardian nowandthen
Why he will live with us wont he
No no my dear—And you would choose then to live with him not with me would you not—
Indeed but I wont—Indeed I will live and die with you if you will let me and I warrant his kind heart will often lead him to us But tell me Why these tears madam Why this grief—Why do you speak so quick and short and why do you seem to be in such a hurry
Do I speak quick and short Do I seem to be in a hurry—Thank you my love for your observation And now leave me I will profit by it
The amiable girl withdrew on tiptoe and I sat about composing myself
I was obliged to her for her observation It was really of use to me But you must think Lucy that I must be fluttered—His manner of leaving me—Was it not particular—To break from me so abruptly as I may say—And what he said with looks so earnest Looks that seemed to carry more meaning than his words And withdrawing without conducting me out as he had led me in—and as if—I dont know how as if—But you will give me your opinion of all these things I cant say but I think my suspense is over and in a way not very desireable—Yet—But why should I puzzle myself What must be must
At afternoontea the gentlemen not being returned and Emily undertaking the walters office I gave my Lord and the two Ladies tho she was present some account of what had passed but briefly and I had just finished and was quitting the room as the two gentlemen entered the door
Sir Charles Instantly addressed me with apologies for
the concern he had given me His emotion was visible as he spoke to me He hesitated He trembled Why did he hesitate Why did he tremble
I told him I was not ashamed to own that I was very much affected by the melancholy story The poor Lady said I is greatly to be pitied—But remember Sir what you promised Dr Bartlett should do for me
I have been requesting the doctor to fulfil my engagements
And I am ready to obey said the good man My agreeable task shall soon be performed
As I was at the door going up stairs to my closet I courtesied and pursed my intention
He bowed said nothing and looked I thought as if he were disappointed that I did not return to company—No indeed
Yet I pity him at my heart How odd is it then to be angry with him—So much goodness so much sensibility so much compassion whence all his woes I believe never met together in a heart so manly
Tell me tell me my dear Lucy—Yet tell me nothing till I am favoured with and you have read the account that will be given me by Dr Bartlett Then I hope we shall have everything before us
Saturday March 25
HE Yet why that disrespectful word—Fie upon me for my narrowness of heart Sir Charles is setting out for town He cannot be happy himself He is therefore giving himself the pleasure of endeavouring to make his friend happy He can enjoy the happiness of his friends O the blessing of a benevolent heart Let the world frown as it will upon such a one it cannot possibly bereave it of all happiness—Fortune do thy worst If Sir Charles Grandison canot be happy with his Clementina he will make himself a partaker of Lord Gs happiness and as that
will secure if not her own fault the happiness of his sister he will not be destitute of selicity And let me after his example—Ah Lucy that I could—But in time I hope I shall deserve as well as be esteemed to be the girl of my grandmamma and aunt and then of course be worthy to be called my dear Lucy
YOUR HARRIET BYRON
Saturday Noon
SIR CHARLES is gone and I have talked over the matter again with the Ladies and Lord L
What do you think—They all will have it—and it is a faithful account to the very best of my recollection—They all will have it That Sir Charless great struggle his great grief is owing—His great struggle I dont know what I write I think—But let it go is between his Compassion for the unhappy Clementina and his Love —for—Somebody else
But who my dear large as his heart is can be contented with half an heart Compassion Lucy—The compassion of such an heart—It must be Love —And ought it not to be so to such a woman—Tell me—Dont you Lucy with all yours pity the unhappy Clementina who loves against the principles of her religion and in that respect against her inclination a man who cannot be hers but by a violation of his honour and conscience What a fatality in a Love so circumstanced—To love against inclination What a sound has that But what an absurdity is this passion called Love Or rather of what absurd things does it make its votaries guilty Let mine be evermore circumscribed by the laws of reason, of duty and then my recollections my reflexions will never give me lasting disturbance
Dr Bartlett has desired me to let him know what the particular passages are of which I more immediately
wish to be informed for our better understanding the unhappy Clementinas story and has promised to transcribe them I have given him a list in writing I have been half guilty of affectation I have asked for some particulars that Sir Charles referred to which are not so immediately interesting The history of Olivia of Mr Beaumont the debates Sir Charles mentioned between himself and Signor Jeronymo But Lucy the particulars I am most impatient for are these
His first conference with Lady Clementina on the subject of the Count of Belvedere which her father and mother overheard
The conference he was desired to hold with her on her being seized with melancholy
Whether her particularly chearful behaviour on his departure from Bologna is any where accounted for
By what means Mrs Beaumont prevailed on her to acknowlege a passion so studiously concealed from the tenderest of parents
Sir Charless reception on his return from Vienra
What reception his proposals of compromise as to reli••• and residence met with as well from the family as from Clementina
The most important of all Lucy—The last distres•••〈◊〉 What made it necessary what happened at Bologna afterwards and what the poor Clementinas situation now is
If the doctor is explicit with regard to this article we shall be able to account for their desiring him to revisit them at Bologna after so long an absence and for his seeming to think it will be to no purpose to oblige them O Lucy what a great deal depends upon the answer to this article as it may happen—But no more suspense I beseech you Sir Charles Grandison No more suspense I pray you Dr Bartlett My heart sickens at the thought of farther suspense I cannot bear it
Adieu Lucy Lengthening my Letter would be only dwelling longer for I know not how to change my subject on weaknesses and follies that have already given you too much pain for
Your HARRIET BYRON
Colnebrooke Monday Mar 27
DR Bartlett seeing our impatience asked leave to take the assistance of his nephew in transcribing from Sir Charless Letters the passages that will enable him to perform the task he had so kindly undertaken By this means he has already presented us with the following transcripts We have eagerly perused them When you have done so be pleased to hasten them up that my cousin Reevess may have the same opportunity They are so good as to give chearfully the preference to the venerable circle as my cousin who dined with us yesterday bid me tell you O my Lucy what a glorious young man is Sir Charles Grandison But he had the happiness of a Dr Bartlett as he is fond of owning to improve upon a foundation that was so nobly laid by the best and wisest of mothers
Dr Bartletts first Letter
MY task my good Miss Byron will be easy by the assistance you have allowed me For what is it but to transcribe parts of Sir Charless Letters adding a few lines here and there by way of connexion And I am delighted with it as it will make known the heart of my beloved patron in all the lights which the most interesting circumstances can throw upon it to so many worthy persons as are permitted a share in this confidence
The first of your commands runs thus—
I should imagine say you that the debates Sir Charles mentions between himself and Signor Jeronymo and his companions at their first acquaintance must be not only curious but edifying
They are my good Miss Byron But as I presume that you Ladies are more intent upon being obeyed in the other articles See Lucy I had better not have dissembled I will only at present transcribe for you with some short connexions two Letters by which you will see how generously Mr Grandison sought to recover his friend to the paths of virtue and honour when he had formed schemes in conjunction with and by the instigation of other gay young men of rank to draw him in to be a partaker in their guilt and an abettor of their enterprizes
You will judge from these Letters madam without shocking you by the recital what were the commonplace pleas of those libertines despisers of marriage of the laws of society and of WOMEN but as they were subservient to their pleasures
To the Barone della Porretta
WILL my Jeronymo allow his friend his Grandison the liberty he is going to take with him If the friendship he professes for him be such a one as a great mind can on reflexion glory in he will And what is this liberty but such as constitutes the essence of true friendship Allow me on this occasion to say that your Grandison has seen more of the world than most men who have lived no longer in it have had an opportunity to see I was sent abroad for improvement under the care of a man who proved to be the most intriguing and profligate of those to whom a youth was ever entrusted I saw in him the inconvenience the odiousness of libertinism and by the assistance of an excellent monitor with whom
I happily became acquainted and would it not be false shame and cowardice if I did not say by the Divine assistance I escaped snares that were laid to corrupt my morals Hence my dearest friend will the more readily allow me to impart to him some of the lessons that were of so much use to myself
I am the rather encouraged to take this liberty as I have often flattered myself that I have seen my Jeronymo affected by the arguments urged in the course of the conversations that have been held in our select meetings at Padua and at Rome in which the cause of virtue and true honour has been discussed and pleaded
I have now no hopes of influencing any one of the noble youths whom at your request I have of late so often met But of you I still have hopes because you continue to declare that you prefer my friendship to theirs You think that I was disgusted at the ridicule with which they generally treated the arguments they could not answer But as far as I innocently could I followed them in their levity I returned raillery for ridicule and not always as you know unsuccessfully but still they renewed the charge and we had the same arguments one day to refute that the preceding were given up They could not convince me nor I them
I quit therefore yet not without regret the society I cannot meet with pleasure But let not my Jeronymo renounce me In his opinion I had the honour to stand high before I was prevailed upon to be introduced to them we cultivated with mutual pleasure each others acquaintance independent of this association Let us be to each other what we were for the first month of our intimacy You have noble qualities but are diffident and too often suffer yourself to be influenced by men of talents inferior to your own
The ridicule they have aimed at has weakened perhaps the force of the arguments that I wished to
have a more than temporary effect on your heart Permit me to remind you on paper of some of them and urge to you others The end I have in view is your good in hopes to confirm by the efficacy they may have on you my own principles Nor think me too serious The occasion the call that true friendship makes upon you is weighty
You have shewed me Letters from your noble father from your mother from the pious prelate your brother and others from your uncle and still if possible more admirable ones from your sister—All filled with concern for your present and future welfare How dearly is my Jeronymo beloved by his whole family and by such a family And how tenderly does he love them all—What ought to be the result Jeronymo cannot be ungrateful He knows so well what belongs to the character of a dutiful son an affectionate brother that I will not attempt to enforce their arguments upon him
By the endeavours of my friend to find excuses for some of the liberties in which he allows himself I infer that if he thought them criminal he has too much honour to be guilty of them He cannot say with the mad Medea
—Video meliora proboque
Deteriora sequor—
No His judgment must be misled before he can allow himself in a deviation But let him beware for has not every saulty inclination something to plead in its own behalf—Excuses my dear friend are more than tacit confessions And the health of the mind, as of the body is impaired by almost imperceptible degrees
My Jeronymo has pleaded and justly may he boast of a disposition to benevolence charity generosity—What pity that he cannot be still more perfect—that he resolves not against meditated injuries
to others of his fellowcreatures But remember my Lord that true goodness is an uniform thing and will alike influence every part of a mans conduct and that true generosity will not be confined to obligations either written or verbal
Besides who tho in the least guilty instance and where some false virtue may offer colours to palliate an excess can promise himself to stop when once he has thrown the reins on the neck of lawless appetite And may I not add that my Jeronymo is not in his own power He suffers himself to be a led man—O that he would choose his company anew and be a leader Every virtue then that warms his heart would have a sistervirtue to encourage the noble flame instead of a vice to damp it
Justly do you boast of the nobility of your descent of the excellence of every branch of your family Bear with my question my Lord Are you determined to sit down satisfied with the honour of your ancestors Your progenitors and every one of your family have given you reason to applaud their worthiness Will you not give them cause to boast of yours
In answer to the earnest entreaties of all your friends that you will marry you have said that were women angels you would with joy enter into the state—But what ought the men to be who form upon women such expectations
Can you my dear Lord despise matrimony yet hold it to be a sacrament Can you defying the maxims of your family and wishing to have the Sister I have heard you mention with such high delight and admiration strengthen your familyinterest in the female line determine against adding to its strength in the male
You have suffered yourself to speak with contempt of the generality of the Italian women for their illiterateness Let not their misfortune be imputed to them my noble friend as their fault They have the
same natural geniuss that used to distinguish the men and women of your happy climate Let not the want of cultivation induce you a learned man to hold them cheap The cause of virtue and of the sex can hardly be separated
But O my friend my Jeronymo have I not too much reason to fear that guilty attachments have been the cause of your slighting a legal one That you are studying pretences to justify the way of life into which you have fallen
Let us consider the objects of your pursuit—Alas there have been more than one Are they women seduced from the path of virtue by yourself—Who otherwise perhaps would have married and made useful members of society—Consider my friend what a capital crime is a seduction of this kind—Can you glory in the virtue of a sister of your own and allow yourself in attempts upon the daughter the sister of another And let me ask How can that crime be thought pardonable in a man which renders a woman infamous
A good heart a delicate mind cannot associate with a corrupt one What tie can bind a woman who has parted with her honour What in such a guilty attachment must be a mans alternative but either to be the tyrant of a wretch who has given him reason to despise her or the dupe of one who despises him
It is the important lesson of life allow me to be serious on a subject so serious in this union of soul and body to restrain the unruly appetites of the latter and to improve the faculties of the former—Can this end be attained by licentious indulgences and profligate associations
Men in the pride of their hearts are apt to suppose that nature has designed them to be superior to women The highest proof that can be given of such superiority is in the protection afforded by the
stronger to the weaker What can that man say for himself or for his proud pretension who employs all his arts to seduce betray and ruin the creature whom he should guide and protect—Sedulous to save her perhaps from every soe but the devil and himself
It is unworthy of a man of spirit to be sollicitous to keep himself within the boundaries of human laws on no other motive than to avoid the temporal inconveniencies attending the breach of them The laws were not made so much for the direction of good men as to circumscribe the bad Would a man of honour wish to be considered as one of the latter rather than as one of those who would have distinguished the fit from the unfit had they not been discriminated by human sanctions Men are to approve themselves at an higher tribunal than at that of men
Shall not public spirit virtue and a sense of duty have as much influence on a manly heart as a new face How contemptibly low is that commerce in which mind has no share
Virtuous love my dear Jeronymo looks beyond this temporary scene while guilty attachments usually find a much earlier period than that of human life Inconstancy on one side or the other seldom fails to put a disgraceful end to them But were they to endure for life what can the reflexions upon them do towards softening the agonies of the inevitable hour
Remember my Jeronymo that you are a MAN a rational and immortal agent and act up to the dignity of your nature Can sensual pleasure be the great end of an immortal spirit in this life
That pleasure cannot be lasting and it must be followed by remorse which is obtained either by doing injustice to or degrading a fellowcreature And does not a woman when she forfeits her honour degrade herself not only in the sight of the world but in the secret thoughts of even a profligate lover destroying her own consequence with him
Build not my noble friend upon penances and absolutions I enter not into those subjects on which we differ as Catholics and Protestants But if we would be thought men of true greatness of mind let us endeavour so to act as not in essential articles and with our eyes open either to want absolution or incur penances Surely my Lord it is nobler not to offend than to be obliged to atone
Are there not let me ask innocent delights enow to fill with joy every vacant hour Believe me Jeronymo there are Let you and me seek for such and make them the cement of our friendship
Religion out of the question consider what morals and good policy will oblige you to do as a man born to act a part in public life What were the examples set by you and your acquaintance to be generally followed would become of public order and decorum What of national honours How will a regular succession in families be kept up You my Lord boast of your descent both by fathers and mothers side Why will you deprive your children of a distinction in which you glory
Good children what a blessing to their parents But what comfort can the parent have in children born into the world heirs of disgrace and who owing their very being to profligate principles have no family honour to support no fair example to imitate but must be warned by their father when bitter experience as convinced him of his errors to avoid the paths in which he has trod
How delightful the domestic connexion To bring to the paternal and fraternal dwellings a sister a daughter that shall be received there with tender love to strengthen your own interest in the world by alliance with some noble and worthy family who shall rejoice to trust to the Barone della Porretta the darling of their hopes—This would to a generous heart like yours be the source of infinite delights
But could you now think of introducing to the friends you revere the unhappy objects of a vagrant affection Must not my Jeronymo even estrange himself from his home to conceal from his father from his mother from his sister persons shut out by all the laws of honour from their society The persons so shut out must hate the family to whose interests theirs are so contrary What sincere union then what sameness of affection between Jeronymo and the objects of his passion
But the present hour dances delightfully away and my friend will not look beyond it His gay companions applaud and compliment him on his triumphs In general perhaps he allows
that the welfare and order of society ought to be maintained by submission to Divine and human laws but his single exception for himself can be of no importance
Of what then is general practice made up If every one excepts himself and offends in the instance that best suits his inclination what a scene of horror will this world become Affluence and a gay disposition tempt to licencious pleasures penury and a gloomy one to robbery revenge and murder Not one enormity will be without its plea if once the boundaries of duty are thrown down But even in this universal depravity would not his crime be much worse who robbed me of my child from riot and licentiousness and under a guise of love and trust than his who despoiled me of my substance, and had necessity to plead in extenuation of his guilt
I cannot doubt my dear friend but you will take at l•ast kindly these expostulations tho some of them are upon subjects on which our conversations have been hitherto ineffectual I submit them to your consideration I can have no interest in making them nor motive but what proceeds from that true friendship with which I desire to be thought
Most affectionately Yours
You have heard my good Miss Byron that the friendship between Mr Grandison and Signor Jeronymo was twice broken off Once it was by the unkindlytaken freedom of the expostulatory Letter Jeronymo at that time of his life ill brooked opposition in any pursuit his heart was engaged in When pushed he was vehement and Mr Grandison could not be oversolicitous to keep up a friendship with a young man who was under the dominion of his dissolute companions and who would not allow of remonstrances in cases that concerned his morals
Jeronymo having afterwards been drawn into great inconveniencies by his libertine friends broke with them and Mr Grandison and he meeting by accident at Padua their friendship at the pressing instances of Jeronymo was again renewed
Jeronymo thought himself reformed Mr Grandison hoped he was But soon after a temptation fell in his way which he could not resist It was from a Lady who was more noted for her birth beauty and fortune than for her virtue She had spread her snares for Mr Grandison before Jeronymo became acquainted with her and revenge for her slighted advances taking possession of her heart she hoped an opportunity would be afforded her of wreaking it upon him
The occasion was given by the following Letter which Mr Grandison thought himself obliged in honour to write to his friend on his attachment the one being then at Padua the other at Cremona
I AM extremely concerned my dear Jeronymo at your new engagement with a Lady who tho of family and fortune has shewn but little regard to her character How frail are the resolutions of men How much in the power of women But I will not recriminate—Yet I cannot but regret that I must lose your company in our projected visits to the German
courts This however more for your sake than my own since to the principal of them I am no stranger You have excused yourself to me I wish you had a better motive But I write rather to warn than to upbraid you This Lady is mistress of all the arts of woman She may glory in her conquest you ought not to be proud of yours You will not when you know her better I have had a singular opportunity of being acquainted with her character I never judged of characters of womens especially by report Had the Barone dellaPorretta been the first for whom this Lady spread her blandishments a man so amiable as he is might the more assuredly have depended on the love she professes for him She has two admirers men of violence who unknown to each other have equal reason to look upon her as their own You propose not to marry her I am silent on this subject Would to heaven you were married to a woman of virtue Why will you not oblige all your friends Thus liable as you are—But neither do I expostulate Well do I know the vehemence with which you are wont to pursue a new adventure Yet I had hoped—But again I restrain myself Only let me add that the man who shall boast of his success with this Lady may have more to apprehend from the competition in which he will find himself engaged than he can be aware of Be prudent my Jeronymo in this pursuit for your own sake The heart that dictates this advice is wholly yours But alas it boasts no further interest in that of its Jeronymo With infinite regret I subscribe to the latter part of the sentence the once betterregarded name of
GRANDISON
And what was the consequence The unhappy youth by the instigation of the revengeful woman defied his friend in her behalf Mr Grandison with a noble disdain appealed to Jeronymos cooler deliberation
and told him that he never would meet as a foe the man he had ever been desirous to consider as his friend You know my Lord said he that I am under a disadvantage in having once been obliged to assert myself in a country where I have no natural connexions and where you Jeronymo have many If we meet again I do assure you it must be by accid•nt—and if that happens we shall then find it time e•ough to discuss the occasion of our present misunderstanding
Their next meeting was indeed by accident It was in the Cremonese when Mr Grandison saved his life
AND now madam let me give you in obedience to your second command
The particulars of the conference which Sir Charles was put upon holding with Clementina in savour of the Count of Belvedere and which her father and mother unknown to either of them overheard
You must suppose them seated a Miltons Paradise Lost before them And that at this time Mr Grandison did not presume that the young Lady had any particular regard for him
Clementina You have taught the prelate and you have taught the soldier to be in love with your Milton Sir But I shall never admire him I doubt Dont you reckon the language hard and crabbed
Grandison I did not propose him to you madam Your brother chose him We should not have made the proficiency we have had I not begun with you by easier authors But you have often heard me call him a sublime poet and your ambition it is a laudable one leads you to make him your own too soon Has not your tutor taken the liberty to chide you for your impatience for your desire of being everything at once
Clem You have and I own my fault—But to have done for the present with Milton What shall I do to acquit myself of the addresses of this Count of Belvedere
Gr Why would you acquit yourself of the Counts addresses
Clem He is not the man I can like I have told my papa as much and he is angry with me
Gr I think madam your papa may be a little displeased with you tho he loves you too tenderly to be angry with you You reject the Count without assigning a reason
Clem Is it not reason enough that I dont like him
Gr Give me leave to say that the Count is an handsome man He is young gallant sensible of a family antient and noble a grace to it He is learned goodnatured He adores you—
Clem And so let him if he will I never can like him
Gr Dear Lady You must not be capricious You will give the most indulgent parents in the world apprehension that you have cast your thoughts on some other object Young Ladies except in a case of prepossession do not often reject a person who has so many great and good qualities as thine in this gentleman and where equality of degree and a fathers and mothers high approbation add to his merit
Clem I suppose you have been spoken to to talk with me on this subject—It is a subject I dont like
Gr You began it Madam
Clem I did so because it is uppermost with me I am grieved at my heart that I cannot see the Count with my fathers eyes My father deserves from me every instance of duty and love and veneration but I cannot think of the Count of Belvedere for an husband
Gr One reason madam One objection
Clem He is a man that is not to my mind A
fawning cringing man I think—And a spirit that can fawn and cringe and kneel will be a tyrant in power
Gr Dear madam To whom is he this obsequious man but to you—Is there a man in the world that behaves with a more proper dignity to every one else Nay to you the Lover shines out in him but the Man is not forgot Is the tenderness of wellplaced Love the veneration paid to a deservedly beloved object any derogation to the manly character Far from it and shall you think the less of your Lover for being the most ardent and I have no knowlege in man if he is not the most sincere of men
Clem An excellent advocate—I am sure you have been spoken to—Have you not Tell me truly Perhaps by the Count of Belvedere
Gr I should not think and of consequence not speak so highly as I do of the Count if he were capable of asking any man your father and brothers excepted to plead his cause with you
Clem I cant bear to be chidden Chevalier Now you are going to be angry with me too But has not my mamma spoken to you Tell me
Gr Dear Lady consider if she had what you owe to a mamma who deserving for her tenderness to her child the utmost observance and duty would condescend to put her authority into a mediation And yet let me declare that no person breathing should make me say what I do not think whether in favour or disfavour of any man
Clem That is no answer I owe implicit yes I will say implicit duty to my mamma for her indulgence to me But what you have said is no direct answer
Gr For the honour of that indulgence madam I own to you that your mamma and my Lord too have wished that their Clementina could or would give one substantial reason why she cannot like the
Count of Belvedere that they might prepare themselves to acquiesce with it and the Count be induced to submit to his evil destiny
Clem And they have wished this to you Sir And you have taken upon you to answer their wishes—I protest you are a man of prodigious consequence with us all and by your readiness to take up the cause of a man you have so lately known you seem to know it too well
Gr I am sorry I have incurred your displeasure madam
Clem You have I never was more angry with you than I now am
Gr I hope you never was angry with me before I never gave you reason And if I have now I beg your pardon
I arose to go
Clem Very humble Sir—And are for going before you have it Now call me capricious again
Gr I did not know that you could be so easily displeased madam
She wept
Clem I am a very weak creature I believe I am wrong But I never knew what it was to give offence to anybody till within these few months I love my father I love my mother beyond my own life and to think that now when I wish most for the continuance of their goodness to me I am in danger of forfeiting it—I cant bear it—Do you forgive me however I believe I have been too petulant to you Your behaviour is noble frank disinterested It has been a happiness that we have known you You are everybodys friend But yet I think it is a little officious in you to plead so very warmly for a man of whom you know so little and when I told you more than once I could not like him
Gr Honoured as I am by your whole family with the appellation of a fourth son a fourth brother
dear madam was I to blame to act up to the character I know my own heart and if I have consequence given me I will act so as to deserve it at least my own heart shall give it to me
Clem Well Sir you may be right I am sure you mean to be right But as it would be a diminution of the Counts dignity to apply to you for a supposed interest in you which he cannot have it would be much more so to have you interfere where a father mother and other brothers You see Sir I allow your claim of fourth brotherhood are supposed to have less weight So no more of the Count of Belvedere I beseech you from your mouth
Gr One word more only—Dont let the goodness of your father and mother be construed to the disadvantage of the parental character in them They have not been positive They have given their wishes rather then their commands Their tenderness for you in a point so very tender has made them unable to tell their own wishes to you for fear they should not meet with yours yet would be perhaps glad to hear one solid objection to their proposal—And why That they might admit of it—impute therefore to my officiousness what you please and yet I would not wish to disoblige or offend you but let their indulgence they never will use their authority have its full merit with you
Clem Your servant Sir I never yet had a slight notion of their indulgence and I hope I never shall If you will go go But Sir next time I am favoured with your lectures it shall be upon Languages if you please and not upon Lovers
I withdrew profoundly bowing But suel•y thought I the lovely Clementina is capricious
Thus far my patron
Let me add That the Marchioness having acquainted Mr Grandison that her Lord and she had heard every word that had passed expressed her displeasure
at her daughters petulance and thanking him in her Lords name as well as for herself for the generous part he had taken told him that Clementina should ask his pard on
He begged that for the sake of their own weight with her on the same subject she might not know that they had heard what had passed
I believe thats best Chevalier answered the Marchioness and I am apt to think that the poor girl will be more ready than perhaps one would wish to make up with you were she to find you offended with her in earnest as you have reason to be as a disinterested man
You see Chevalier I know to whom I am speaking but both my Lord and self hope to see her of another mind and that she will soon be Countess of Belvedere My Lords heart is in this alliance so is that of my son Giacomo
I come now madam to your third command which is To give you
The conference which Sir Charles was put upon holding with the unhappy Clementina on her being seized with melancholy
Mr Grandison still not presuming on any particular favour from Clementina
The young Lady was walking in one alley of the garden Mr Grandison and the Marquis and Marchioness in another She was attended by her woman who walked behind her and with whom she was displeased for endeavouring to divert her but who however seemed to be talking on tho without being answered
The dear creature said the Marquis tears in his eyes—See her there now walking slow now with quicker steps as if she would shake off her Camilla She hates the poor woman for her love to her But who is it that she sees with pleasure Did I think that I should ever behold the pride of my heart with the
pain that I now feel for her Yet she is lovely in my eye in all she does in all she says—But O my dear Grandison we cannot now make her speak more than Yes or No We cannot engage her in a conversation no not on the subject of her newlyacquired language See if you can on any subject
Ay Chevalier said the Marchioness do you try to engage her We have told her that we will not talk of marriage to her at all till she is herself inclined to receive proposals Her weeping eyes thank us for our indulgence She prays for us with liftedup hand She courtesies her thanks if she stands before us She bows in acknowleged gratitude for our goodness to her if she sits but she cares not to speak She is not easy while we are talking to her See she is stepping into the Greek temple her poor woman unanswered talking to her She has not seen us By that winding walk we can unseen place ourselves in the myrtilgrove and hear what passes
The Marchioness as we walked hinted that in their last visit to the General at Naples there was a Count Marulli a young nobleman of merit but a soldier of fortune who would have clandestinely obtained the attention of their Clementina They knew nothing of it till last night she said when herself and Camilla puzzling to what to attribute the sudden melancholy turn of her daughter and Camilla mentioning what was unlikely as well as likely told her that the Count would have bribed her to deliver a Letter to the young Lady but that she repulsed him with indignation He besought her then to take no notice of his offer to the General on whom all his fortunes depended She did not for that reason to anybody but a few days since she heard her young Lady talking of the gentleman she had seen at Naples mention the young Count favourably—Now it is impossible there can be any-thing in it said the Marchioness But do you however Chevalier lead to the subject of
Love but at distance nor name Marulli because she will think you have been talking with Camilla The dear girl has pride She would not endure you if she thought you imagined her to be in Love especially with a man of inferior degree or dependent fortunes But on your prudence we wholly rely mention it or not as matters fall in
There can be no room for this surmise my dear said the Marquis and yet Marulli was lately in Bologna But Clementinas spirit will not permit her to encourage a clandestine address
By this time we had got to the myrtlegrove behind the temple and overheard them talk as follows
Camilla And why why must I leave you madam—From infancy you know how I have loved you You used to love to hold converse with your Camilla How have I offended you I will not enter this temple till you give leave but indeed indeed I must not I cannot leave you
Clem Officious Love—Can there be a greater torment than an officious prating Love—If you loved me you would wish to oblige me
Cam I will oblige you my dear young Lady in every thing I can—
Clem Then leave me Camilla I am best when I am alone I am chearfullest when I am alone You haunt me Camilla like a ghost you haunt me Camilla Indeed you are but the ghost of my once obliging Camilla
Cam My dearest young Lady let me beseech you—
Clem Ay now you come with your beseeches again But if you love me Camilla leave me Am I not to be trusted with myself Were I a vile young creature that was suspected to be running away with some baseborn man you could not be more watchful of my steps
Camilla would have entered into farther talk with her but she absolutely forbad her
Talk till dcomsday I will not say one word more to you Camilla I will be silent I will stop my ears
They were both silent Camilla seemed to weep
Now my dear Chevalier whispered the Marquis put yourself in her sight engage her into talk about England or any-thing: You will have an hour good before dinner I hope she will be chearful at table She must be present our guests will enquire after her Reports have gone out as if her head is hurt
I am afraid my Lord that this is an unseasonable moment She seems to be out of humour and pardon me if I say that Camilla good woman as she is and wellmeaning had better give way to her young Ladys humour at such times
Then said the Marchioness will her malady get head then will it become habit But my Lord and I will remain where we are for a few minutes and do you try to engage her in conversation I would have her be chearful before the Patriarch however he will expect to see her She is as much his delight as she is ours
I took a little turn and entering the walk which led to the temple appeared in her sight but bowed on seeing her sitting in it Her woman stood silent with her handkerchief at her eyes at the entrance I quickned my steps as if I would not break into her retirement and passed by but by means of the winding walk could hear what she said
She arose and stepping forward looking after me He iS gone said she Learn Camilla of the Chevalier Grandison—
Shall I call him back madam
No Yes No Let him go I will walk You may now leave me Camilla There is somebody in the garden who will watch me Or you may stay
Camilla I dont care which Only dont talk to me when I wish you to be silent
She went into an alley that crossed the alley in which I was but took the walk that led from me When we came to the center of both and were very near each other I bowed she courtesied but not seeming to encourage my nearer approach I made a motion as if I would take another walk She stopt Learn of the Chevalier Grandison Camilla repeated she
May I presume madam Do I not invade—
Camilla is a little officious today Camilla has teazed me Are the poets of your country as severe upon womens tongues as the poets of ours
Poets madam of all countries boast the same inspiration Poets write as other men speak to their feeling
So Sir—You make a pretty compliment to us poor women
Poets have finer imaginations madam than other men they therefore seel quicker But as they are not often intitled to boast of Judgment for imagination and judgment seldom go together they may perhaps give the cause and then break out into satire upon the effects
Dont I see before me in the Orangegrove my father and mother I do I have not kneeled to them today Dont go Chevalier
She hastened towards them They stopt She bent her knee to each and received their tender blessings They led her towards me You seemed engaged in talk with the Chevalier my dear said the Marquis Your mamma and I were walking in We leave you—They did
The best of parents said she O that I were a more worthy child—Have you not seen them Sir before to day
I have madam They think you the worthiest of daughters but they lament your thoughtful turn
They are very good I am grieved to give them trouble Have they expressed their concern to you Sir—I will not be so petulant as I was once before provided you keep clear of the same subject You are the confident of us all and your noble and disinterested behaviour deservedly endears you to everybody
They have been this very morning lamenting the melancholy turn you seem to have taken With tears they have been lamenting it
Camilla you may draw near You will hear your own cause supported The rather draw near and hear all the Chevalier seems to be going to say because it may save you and me too a great deal of trouble
Madam I have done said I
But you must not have done If you are commissioned Sir by my father and mother I am I ought to be prepared to hear all you have to say
Camilla came up
My dearest young Lady said I What can I say My wishes for your happiness may make me appear importunate But what hope have I of obtaining your confidence when your mother fails
What Sir is aimed at What is sought to be obtained I am not very well I used to be a very sprightly creature I used to talk to sing to dance to play to visit to receive visits And I dont like to do any of these things now I love to be alone I am contented with my own company Other company is at times irksome to me and I cant help it
But whence this sudden turn madam in a Lady so young so blooming Your father mother brothers cannot account for it and this disturbs them
I see it does and am sorry for it
No other favourite diversion takes place in your
mind You are a young Lady of exemplary piety You cannot pay a greater observance than you always paid to the duties of religion
You Sir an Englishman an heretic give me leave to call you for are you not so—Do you talk of piety of religion
We will not enter into this subject madam What I meant—
Yes Sir I know what you meant—And I will own that I am at times a very melancholy strange creature I know not whence the alteration but to it is and I am a greater trouble to myself than I can be to anybody else
But madam there must be some cause—And for you to answer the best and most indulgent of mothers with sighs and tears only yet no obstinacy no fullenness no petulance appearing All the same sweetness gentleness observance that she ever rejoiced to find in her Clementina still shining out in her mind She cannot urge her silent daughter her tenderness will not permit her to urge her And how can you my Sister Allow of my claim madam How can you still silently withdraw from such a mother How can you at other times suffer her to withdraw her heart full her eyes running over unable to stay yet hardly knowing how to go because of the ineffectual report she must make to your sorrowing father yet the cause of this very great alteration which they dread is growing into an habit at a time of life when you were to crown all their hopes a Secret fast locked up in your own heart
She wept and turned from me and leaned upon the arm of her Camilla and then quitting her arm and joining me How you paint my obstinacy and my mammas goodness I only wish—With all my soul I wish—that I was added to the dust of my ancestors I who was their comfort I see now must be their torment
Fie fie my sister
Blame me not I am by no means satisfied with myself What a miserable thing must she be who is at variance with herself
I do not hope madam that you should place so much confidence in your fourth brother as to open your mind to him All I beg is that you will relieve the anxious the apprehensive heart of the best of mothers and by so doing enable her to relieve the equallyanxious heart of the best of fathers
She paused stood still turned away her face and wept as if half overcome
Let your faithful Camilla madam be commissioned to acquaint your mamma—
But hold Sir seeming to recollect herself not so fast—Open my mind —What whether I have anything to reveal or not—Insinuating man You had almost persuaded me to think I had a secret that lay heavy at my heart And when I began to look for it to oblige you I could not find it Pray Sir—She stopt
And pray madam taking her hand Do not think of receding thus—
You are too free Sir Yet she withdrew not her hand
For a brother madam Too free for a brother And I quitted it
Well and what farther would my brother
Only to implore to beseech you to reveal to your mamma to your excellent your indulgent—
Stop Sir I beseech you—What Whether I have any-thing to reveal or not—Pray Sir tell me invent for me a Secret that is fit for me to own and then perhaps if it will save the trouble of enquiries I may make at least my four brothers easy
I am pleased however madam with your agreeable raillery Continue but in this temper and the Secret is revealed Enquiry will be at an end
Camilla here is continually teazing me with her persuasions to be in Love as she calls it That is the silly thing in our sex which gives importance to yours A young creature cannot be grave cannot indulge a contemplative humour but she must be in Love I should hate myself were I to put it in the power of any man breathing to give me uneasiness I hope Sir I hope that you my brother have not so poor so low so mean a thought of me
It is neither poor nor low it is not mean to be in Love madam
What not with an improper object
Madam
What have I said You want to—But what I have now said was to introduce what I am going to tell you that I saw your insinuation and what it tended to when you read to me those lines of your Shakespeare which in your heart I suppose you had the goodness or what shall I call it to apply to me Let me see if I can repeat them to you in their original English
With the accent of her country she very prettily repeated those lines
—She never told her love
But let concealment like a worm i th bud
Feed on her damask cheek She pind in thought
And with a green and yellow melancholy
She sat like Patience on a monument
Smiling at grief—
Now Chevalier if you had any design in your pointing to these very pretty lines I will only say you are mistaken and so are all those who affront and afflict me with attributing my malady to so great a weakness
I meant not at the time madam—
Nor now I hope Sir—
Any such application of the lines How could I
Your refusal of many Lovers your declining the proposals of a man of the Count of Belvederes consequence and merit tho approved of by every one of your friends are convictions—
See Camilla interrupting me with quickness the Chevalier is convinced—Pray let me have no more of your affronting questions and conjectures on this subject I tell you Camilla I would not be in Love for the world and all its glory
But madam if you will be pleased to assign one cause to your mamma for the melancholy turn your lively temper has taken you will free yourself from a suspicion that gives you pain as well as displeasure Perhaps you are grieved that you cannot comply with your fathers views—Perhaps—
Assign one cause again interrupted she—Assign one cause —Why Sir—I am not well—I am not pleased with myself—as I told you
If it were any-thing that lay upon your mind your conscience madam your confessor—
Would not make me easy He is a good but turning aside and speaking low a severe man Camilla hears not what I say Camilla dropt behind He is more afraid of me in some cases than he need to be And why Because you have almost persuaded me to think charitably of people of different persuasions by your noble charity of all mankind Which I think heretic as you are forgive me Sir carries an appearance of true Christian goodness in it Tho Protestants it seems will persecute one another; but you would not be one of those except you are one man in Italy another in England
Your mother madam will ask If you have honoured me with any part of your confidence Her communicative goodness makes her think everybody should be as unreserved as herself Your father is so good as to allow you to explain yourself to me when he wishes that I could prevail upon you to open your
mind to me in the character of a fourth brother My Lord the Bishop—
Yes yes Sir interrupted she all our family worships you almost I have myself a very great regard for you as the fourth brother who has been the deliverer and preserver of my third But Sir who can prevail upon you in any thing you are determined upon—Had I any thing upon my heart I would not tell it to one who brought up in error shuts his eyes against conviction in an article in which his everlasting good is concerned Let me call you a Catholic Sir and I will not keep a thought of my heart from you You shall indeed be my brother and I shall free one of the holiest of men from his apprehensions on my conversing with so determined an heretic as he thinks you Then shall you as my brother command those Secrets if any I have from that heart in which you think them locked up
Why then madam will you not declare them to your mamma to your confessor to my Lord Bishop
Did I not say If any I have
And is your reverend confessor uneasy at the favour of the family to me—How causeless—Have I ever madam talked with you on the subject of religion
Well but Sir are you so obstinately determined in your errors that there is no hope of convincing you I really look upon you as my papa and mamma first bid me do as my fourth brother I should be glad that all my brothers were of one religion Will you allow Father Marescotti and Father Geraldino to enter into a conference with you on this subject And if they answer all your objections will you act according to your convictions
I will not by any means madam enter upon this subject
I have long intended Sir to propose this matter to you
You have often intimated as much madam tho
not so directly as now but the religion of my country is the religion of my choice I have a great deal to say for it It will not be heard with patience by such strict professors as either of those you have named Were I to be questioned on this subject before the Pope and the whole Sacred College I would not prevaricate But good manners will make me shew respect to the religion of the country I happen to be in were it the Mahometan or even the Pagan and to venerate the good men of it But I never will enter into debate upon the subject as a traveller a sojourner that is a rule with me
Well Sir you are an obstinate man thats all I will say I pity you with all my soul I pity you You have great and good qualities As I have sat at table with you and heard you converse on subjects that every one has in silence admired you for I have often thought to myself Surely this man was not designed for perdition—But begone Chevalier leave me You are an obstinate man Yours is the worst of obstinacy for you will not give yourself a chance for conviction
We have so far departed from the subject we began upon that it is proper to obey you madam I only beg that my Sister—
Not so far departed from it perhaps as you imagine interrupted she and turned a blushing cheek from me—But what do you beg of your Sister
That she will rejoice the most indulgent of parents and the most affectionate of brothers with a chearful aspect at table especially before the Patriarch Do not madam in silence—
You find Sir I have been talkative enough with you —Shall we go thro your Shakespeares Hamlet tonight—Farewel Chevalier I will try to be chearful at table But let not your eye if I am not reproach me—She took another walk
I was loth my dear Dr Bartlett to impute to myself
the consequence with this amiable Lady that might but naturally be inferred from the turn which the conversation took but I thought it no more than justice to the whole family to hasten my departure And when I hinted to Clementina that I should soon take leave of them I was rejoiced to find her unconcerned
This my good Miss Byron is what I find in my patrons Letters relating to this conference He takes notice that the young Lady behaved herself at table as she was wished to do
Mr Grandison was prevailed upon by the intreaties of the whole family to suspend his departure for a few days
The young Ladys melancholy to the inexpressible affliction of her friends increased yet she behaved with so much greatness of mind that neither her mother nor her Camilla could persuade themselves that Love was the cause They sometimes imagined that the earnestness with which they solicited the interest of the Count of Belvedere with her had hurried and affected her delicate spirits and therefore they were resolved to say little more on that subject till they should see her disposed to lend a more favourable ear to it And the Count retired to his own palace in Parma expecting and hoping for such a turn in his favour For he declared That it was impossible for him to think of any other woman for a wife
But Signor Jeronymo doubted not all this time of the cause and without letting anybody into his opinion not even Mr Grandison for fear a disappointment would affect him resolved to make use of every opportunity that should offer in favour of the man he loved from a principle of gratitude that reigned with exemplary force in the breast of every one of this noble family a principle which took the firmer root in their hearts as the prudence generosity
magnanimity and other great and equallyamiable qualities of Mr Grandison appeared every day more and more conspicuous to them all
I will soon madam present you with farther extracts from the Letters in my possession in pursuance of the articles you have given me in writing I am not a little proud of my task
Continuation of Miss Byrons Letter
Begun p 199
CAN you not Lucy gather from the settingout of this story and the short account of it given by Sir Charles in the Libraryconference that I shall soon pay my duty to you all in Northamptonshire I shall indeed
Is it not strange my dear that a father and mother and brothers so jealous as Italians in general are said to be of their women and so proud as this Bologna family is represented to be of their rank should all agree to give so fine a man as this is in mind person and address such free access to their daughter a young Lady of Eighteen
Teach her English—Very discreet in the father and mother surely And to commission him to talk with the poor girl in favour of a man whom they wished her to marry—Indeed you will say perhaps that by the honourable expedient they fell upon unknown to either tutor or pupil of listening to all that was to pass in the conference they found a method to prove his integrity and that finding it proof they were justified to prudence in their future confidence
With all my heart Lucy If you will excuse these parents you may But I say that any body tho not of Italy might have thought such a tutor as this was dangerous to a young Lady and the more for being a man of honour and family In every case the teacher is the obliger He is called master you know And where there is a master a servant is implied
Who is it that seeks not out for a married man among the common tribe of tutors whether professing music dancing languages science of any kind But a tutor such a one as this —
Well but I will leave them to pay the price of their indiscretion
I AM this moment come from the doctor I insinuated to him as artfully as I could some of the above observations He reminded me that the Marchioness herself had her education at Paris and says that the manners of the Italians are very much altered of late years and that the French freedom begins to take place among the people of condition in a very visible manner of the Italian reserve The women of the family of Porretta particularly he says because of their learning freedom and conversableness have been called by their enemies Frenchwomen
But you will see that honour and the laws of hospitality were Mr Grandisons guard And I believe a young flame may be easily kept under But it is a grateful thing Lucy to all women to have a man in Love whether with ourselves or not and the more grateful perhaps the less prudent Yet ought it to be so Sir Charles Grandison is used to do only what he ought Dr Bartlett once said that the life of a good man was a continual warfare with his passions
You will see in the second conference between Mr Grandison and the Lady upon the melancholy way she was in how artfully yet I must own honourably he reminds her of the brotherly character which he passes under to her How officiously he sisters her
Ah Lucy your Harriet is his sister too you know He has been used to this dialect and to check the passions of us forward girls and yet I have gone on confessing mine to the whole venerable circle and have almost gloried in it to them Have not also his
sisters detected me While the noble Clementina as in that admirable passage cited by her
—Never told her love
But let concealment like a worm i th bud
Feed on her damask cheek—
How do I admire her for her silence But yet had she been circumstanced as your Harriet was would Clementina have been so very reserved
Shall I run a parallel between our two cases
Clementinas relations were all solicitous for her marrying the Count of Belvedere a man of unexceptionable character of family of fortune and who is said to be a gallant and an handsome man and who adores her and is of her own faith and country Harriets relations were all solicitous from the first for an alliance with their childs deliverer They never had encouraged any mans address nor had she And all his nearest and dearest friends were partial to her and soon grew ardent in her favour
What difficulties had Clementina to contend with It was great in her to endeavour to conquer a Love that she could not either in duty or with her judgment and conscience acknowlege Harriet not knowing of any engagement he had could have no difficulties to contend with except inferiority of fortune were one She had therefore no reason to endeavour to conquer a passion not ignobly founded and of which duty judgment and conscience approved
No wonder then that so excellent a young Lady suffered Concealment like a worm in the bud to feed on her damask cheek Suspense therefore only and not concealment since every one called upon Harriet to acknowlege her Love could feed on her cheek
And is not suspense enough to make it pale tho it has not yet given it a green and yellow cast O what tortures has suspense given me But certainty is now taking place
What a right method Lucy did Clementina so much in earnest in her own persuasion take in this second conference could she have succeeded in her solicitude for his change of religion—Could that have been effected I dare say she would have been less reserved as to the cause of her melancholy especially as her friends were all as indulgent to her as mine are to me
But my pity for the noble Clementina begins to take great hold of my heart I long to have the whole before me
Adieu Lucy If I write more it will be all a recapitulation of the doctors Letter I can think of nothing else
Tuesday Mar 28
LET me now give you a brief account of what we are doing here Sir Charles so much rejoiced the heart of Lord G who waited on him the moment he knew he was in town that he could not defer his attendance on Miss Grandison till she left Colnebrooke and got hither by our breakfasttime this morning
He met with a very kind reception from Lord and Lady L and a civil one from Miss Grandison but she is already beginning to play her tricks with him
O Lucy where is the sense of parading it with a worthy man of whose affection we have no reason to doubt and whose visits we allow
Silly men in Love or pretending to be in Love generally say hyperbolical things all in short that could be said to a creature of superior order to an angel because they know not how to say polite proper or sensible things In like manner from the same defects in understanding some of us women act as if we thought coyness and modesty the same thing and others as if they were sensible that if they were not insolent they must drop into the arms of a Lover upon his first question
But Miss Grandison in her behaviour to Lord G is governed by motives of archness and I may say downright roguery of temper Courtship is play to her She has a talent for raillery and in no instance is so successful yet so improper as on that subject She could not spare her brother upon it tho she suffered by it
Yet had she a respect for Lord G she could not treat him ludicrously Cannot a witty woman find her own consequence but by putting a fools coat on the back of a friend—Sterling wit I imagine requires not a foil to set it off
She is indeed goodnatured and this is all Lord G has to depend upon—Saving a little reliance that he may make upon the influence her brother has over her I told her just now that were I Lord G I would not wish to have her mine on any consideration She called me silly creature and asked me If it were not one of the truest signs of Love when men were most fond of the women who were least fit for them and used them worst These men my dear said she are very sorry creatures and know no medium They will either spaniellike fawn at your feet or be ready to leap into your lap
She has charming spirits I wish I could borrow
some of them But I tell her that I would not have a single drachm of those overlively ones which I see she will play off upon Lord G Yet he will be pleased at present with any treatment from her tho he wants not feeling as I can see already—Dont Charlotte said I to her within this halfhour let him find his own weight in your levity He admires your wit but dont let it wound him
But perhaps she is the sprightlier in order to give me and Lord and Lady L spirits They are very good to me and greatly apprehensive of the story which takes up in a manner my whole attention So is Miss Grandison And my sweet Emily as often as she may comes up to me when I am alone and hangs upon my arm my shoulder and watches with looks of Love every turn of my eyes
I have opened my whole heart to her for the better guarding of hers and this history of Clementina affords an excellent lesson for the good girl She blesses me for the lectures I read her on this subject and says that she sees Love is a very subtile thing and like water will work its way into the banks that are set up to confine it if it be not watched and damned out in time
She pities Clementina and prettily asked my leave to do so I think said she my heart loves her but not so well as it does you I long to know what my guardian will do about her How good is it in her father and mother to love her so dearly Her two elder brothers one cannot dislike but Jeronymo is my favourite He is a man worth saving int he madam But I pity her father and mother as well as Clementina
Charming young creature What an excellent heart she has
Sir Charles is to dine with Sir Hargrave and his friends tomorrow on the forest in his way to Grandisonhall The doctor says he expects to hear from him when there What will he go by this house
and not call in—With all my heart—We are only sisters Miss Grandison says shell be hanged that is her word if he is not afraid of me Afraid of me A sign if he is he knows not what a poor forward creature I am But as he seems to be preengagged—Well but I shall soon know every thing as to that But sure he might call in as he went by
The doctor says he longs to know how he approves of the decorations of his church and of the alterations that are made and making by his direction at the Hall It is a wonder methinks that he takes not Dr Bartlett with him Upon my word I think he is a little unaccountable such sisters as he has Should you like it Lucy were he your brother I really think his sisters are too acquiescent
He has a great taste the doctor tells us yet not an expensive one for he studies situation and convenience and pretends not to level hills or to force and distort nature but to help it as he finds it without letting art be seen in his works where he can possibly avoid it For he says He would rather let a stranger be pleased with what he sees as if it were always so than to obtain comparative praise by informing him what it was in its former situation
As he is to be a suitor for Lord W before he returns he will not perhaps be with us while I am here He may court for others He has had very little trouble of that sort for himself I find
A very disturbing thought is just come into my head Sir Charles being himself in suspense as to the catastrophe of this knotty affair did not intend to let us know it till all was over—As sure as you are alive Lucy he had seen my regard for him thro the thin veil that covered it and began to be apprehensive generously apprehensive for the heart of the poor fool and so has suffered Dr Bartlett to transcribe the particulars of the story that they may serve for a check to the overforward passion of your Harriet
This thought excites my pride and that my contempt of myself Near borderers Lucy What a little creature does it make me in my own eyes—O Dr Bartlett your kindlyintended transcripts shall cure me Indeed they shall
But now this subject is got uppermost again What Lucy can I do with it
Miss Grandison says that I shall be with her every day when I go to town I can have no exception she says when her brother is absent —Nor when he is present, I begin now to think
Lord help me my dear I must be so very careful of my ponctilio—No thought I in the true spirit of prudery I will not go to Sir Charless house for the world And why Because he is a single man and because I think of something—that he perhaps has no notion of. But now I may go and visit his sister without scruple may I not For he perhaps thinks only of his Clementina—And is not this a charming difficulty got over Lucy—But as I said I will soon be with you
I told Miss Grandison that I would just now—Lovers said she are the weakest people in the world and people of punctilio the most un punctilious—You have not talked till now of going in such an hurry Would you have it thought that you stayed in town for a particular reason and when that ceased valued nobody else She held up her finger—Consider said she
There is something in this Lucy Yet what can I do
But Dr Bartlett says he shall soon give me another Letter
Farewel my Dear
Wednesday Mar 29
SIR Charles came hither this morning time enough to breakfast with us
Lady L is not an early riser I am sure this brother of hers is So is Miss Grandison If I say I am my Lucy I will not allow you to call it boasting because you will by so calling it acknowlege Early rising to be a virtue and if you thought it such I am sure you would distinguish it by your practice Forgive me my dear This is the only point in which you and I have differed—And why have I in the main so patiently suffered this difference and not tried to teaze you out of it Because my Lucy always so well employs her time when she is alive But would not one the more wish that wellemployed life to be made as long as possible
I endeavoured to be very chearful at breakfast but I believe my behaviour was aukward and affected After Sir Charles was gone on my putting the question to the two sisters Whether it was not so they acquitted me—Yet my heart when in his company laboured with a sense of constraint
My pride made me want to find out pity for me in his looks and behaviour on purpose to quarrel with him in my mind for I could not get out of my head that degrading surmise that he had permitted Dr Bartlett to hasten to me the history of Clementina in order generously to check any hopes that I might entertain before they had too strongly taken hold of my foolish heart
But nothing of this was discoverable Respect tender respect appeared as the Ladies afterwards took
notice in every word when he addressed himself to me in every look that he cast upon me
He studiously avoided speaking of the Bologna family We were not indeed any of us fond of leading to the subject
I am sure I pitied him
Pity my dear is a softer passion I dare say in the bosom of a woman than in that of a man There is there must be I should fancy more generosity more tenderness in the pity of the one than in that of the other In a mans pity I write in the first case from my own sensibilities in the other from my apprehensions there is too probably a mixture of insult or contempt Unhappy indeed must the woman be who has drawn upon her the helpless pity of the man she loves
The Ladies and Lord L will have it that Sir Charless Love however, is not so much engaged for Clementina as his Compassion They are my sincere friends They see that I am pretty delicate in my notions of a first Love and they generously endeavour to inculcate this distinction upon me But to what purpose when we evidently see from what we already know of this story that his engagements be the motive what it will are of such a nature that they cannot be dispensed with while this Ladys destiny is undetermined
Poor Lady Clementina From my heart I pity her And tenderness I am sure is the sole motive of my compassion for this fair Unfortunate
Sir Charles set out immediately after breakfast for Sir Hargraves He will dine with him and intends to pass the evening with Lord W We shall all go to town tomorrow
WITH this I send the doctors second pacquet O my dear What a noble young Lady is Clementina What a purity is there in her passion A Letter of
Mrs Beaumout Mrs Beaumont herself an excellent woman will shew you that Clementina deserves every good wish Such a noble struggle did I never hear of between Religion and Love O Lucy you will be delighted with Clementina You will even for a while forget your Harriet or if you are just will think of her but next after Clementina Never did a young Lady do more honour to her sex than is done it by Clementina A flame the most vehement suppressed from motives of piety till poor Lady it has devoured her intellects
Read the Letter and be lost as I was for half an hour after I had read it in silent admiration of her fortitude O my dear she must be rewarded with a Sir Charles Grandison My reason my justice compels from me my vote in her favour
My Lord L and the two Ladies admire her as much as I do They look at me with eyes of tender concern They say little What can they say—But they kindly applaud me for unfeigned admiration of this extraordinary young Lady But where is my merit Who can forbear admiring her
Dr Bartletts second Letter
YOUR forth enquiry madam is
Whether the particularly chearful behaviour of the young Lady on the departure of Mr Grandison from Bologna after a course of melancholy is anywhere accounted for
And your fifth is What were the particulars of Mrs Beaumonts management of the Lady at Florence by which she brought her to own her Love after she had so long kept it a secret from her mother and all her family
What I shall transcribe in order to satisfy you madam with regard to the fifth article will include all that you can wish to be informed of respecting the fourth
But let me premise That Mrs Beaumont at the request of the Marchioness undertook to give an account of the health of the young Lady and what effect the change of air of place and her advice had upon her mind after she had been at Florence for two or three days She on the fourth day of their being together wrote to that Lady the desired particulars The following is a translation of her Letter
YOUR Ladyship will excuse me for not writing till now when you are acquainted that it was not before last night that I could give you any tolerable satisfaction on the subject upon which I had engaged to do myself that honour
I have made myself mistress of the dear young Ladys Secret Your Ladyship guessed it perhaps too well Love but a pure and laudable Love is the malady that has robbed her of her tranquillity for so long a space, and your splendid family of all comfort But such a magnanimity shewn or endeavoured at that she deserves to be equally pitied and admired What is it that the dear young Lady has not suffered in a conflict between her duty her Religion and her Love
The discovery I am afraid will not give pleasure to your family yet certainty in what must be is better than suspense You will think me a managing person perhaps from the relation I have to give you But it was the task prescribed me and you commanded me to be very minute in the account of all my dealings with her that you might know how to conduct yourselves to her for the cure of the unhappy malady I obey
The first and second days after our return to Florence were passed in endeavouring to divert her as our guest in all the ways we could think of But finding that company was irksome to her and that she only bore with it for politeness sake I told the Ladies
that I would take her entirely into my own care and devote my whole time to her service They acquiesced And when I told Lady Clementina of my intention she rejoiced at it and did me the honour to assure me that my conversation would be balm to her heart if she could enjoy it without mixt company
Your Ladyship will see however from what I have mentioned of her regard for me that I had made use of my time in the two pasts days to ingratiate myself into the favour of your Clementina She will have me call her nothing but Clementina Excuse therefore madam the freedom of my stile
She engaged me last night to give her a lesson as she called it in an English author I was surprised at her proficiency in my native tongue Ah my dear said I what an admirable manner of teaching must your tutor have had if I am to judge by the great progress you have made in so short a time in the acquiring of a tongue that has not the sweetness of your own tho it has a force and expressiveness that is more than equal I think to any of the modern languages
She blushed—Do you think so said she—And I saw by the turn of her eye and her consciousness that I had no need to hint to her Count Marulli nor any other man
I took upon me without pushing her just then upon the supposed light dropt in from this little incident to mention the Count of Belvedere with distinction as the Marquis had desired I would
She said She could not by any means think of him
I told her that as all her family approved highly of the Count I thought they were intitled to know her objections and to judge of the reasonableness or unreasonableness of them Indeed my dear said I you do not in this point treat your father and mother with the dutifulness that their indulgence deserves
She started That is severely said is it not madam
Consider of it my dear and if you pronounce it so after an hours reflection I will call it so and ask your pardon
I am afraid said she I am in fault I have the best and most indulgent of parents There are some things some secrets that one cannot be forward to divulge One should perhaps be commanded out of them with a high hand
Your acknowlegement my dear said I is more generous than the occasion given for it But if you will not think me impertinent—
Dont dont ask me too close questions madam interrupted she I am afraid I can deny nothing
I am persuaded my dear Clementina that the mutual unbosoming of secrets is the cement of faithful Friendship and true Love Whenever any new turn in ones affairs happens whenever any new lights open the friendly heart rests not till it has communicated to its fellowheart the new lights the interesting events and this communicativeness knits the true Lovers knot still closer But what a solitariness what a gloom what a darkness must possess that mind that can trust no friend with its inmost thoughts The big secret when it is of an interesting nature will swell the heart till it is ready to burst Deep melancholy must follow—I would not for the world have it so much as thought that I had not a soul large enough for friendship And is not the essence of friendship communication mingling of hearts and emptying our very soul into that of a true friend
Why thats true But madam a young creature may be so circumstanced as not to have a true friend or if she has near her a person to whom she might communicate her whole mind without doubt of her fidelity yet there may be a forbiddingness in the
person a difference in years in degree as in my Camilla who is however a very good woman—We people of condition madam have more courtiers about us than friends But Camillas fault is teazing and always harping upon one string and that by my friends commands It would be therefore more laudable to open my mind to my mother than to her as it would be the same thing
Very true my dear And as you have a mother who is less of the mother than she would be of the sister the friend it is amazing to me that you have kept such a mother in the dark so long
What can I say—Ah madam—There she stopt At last said But my mother is in the interest of the man I cannot love
The question recurs—Are not your parents intitled to know your objections to the man whose interest they so warmly espouse
I have no particular objections The Count of Belvedere deserves a better wife than I can make him I should respect him very much had I a sister and he made his addresses to her
Well then my dear Clementina if I guess the reason why you cannot approve of the Count of Belvedere will you tell me with that candor with that friendship of the requisites of which we have been speaking whether I am right or not
She hesitated I was silent in expectation
She then spoke I am afraid of you madam
You have reason to be so if you think me unworthy of your friendship
What is your guess
That you are prejudiced in favour of some other man or you could not if you had a sister wish her an husband that you thought unworthy of yourself
I dont think the Count of Belvedere unworthy neither madam
Then my conjecture has received additional strength
O Mrs Beaumont How you press upon me
If impertinently say so and I have done
No no not impertinently neither yet you distress me
That could not be if I were not right and if the person were not too unworthy of you to be acknowleged
O Mrs Beaumont how closely you urge me What can I say
If you have any confidence in me—If you think me capable of advising you—
I have confidence Your known prudence—And then she made me compliments that I could not deserve
Come my dear Clementina I will guess again—Shall I
What would you guess
That there is a man of low degree—Of low fortunes—Of inferior sense—
Hold hold hold—And do you think that the Clementina before you is sunk so low—If you do Why dont you cast the abject creature from you
Well then I will guess again—That there is a man of a royal house of superior understanding of whom you can have no hope
O Mrs Beaumont And cannot you guess that this prince is a Mahometan when your hand is in
Then madam and from the hints your Ladyship had given I had little doubt that Clementina was in Love and that religion was the apprehended difficulty Zealous Catholics think not better of Protestants than of Mahometans Nor indeed are zealous Protestants without their prejudices Zeal will be zeal in persons of whatever denomination
I would not however madam like a sudden frost nip the opening bud
There is said I a young soldier of fortune who has breathed forth passionate wishes for Clementina
A soldier of fortune madam with an air of disdain There cannot be such a man living that can have his wishes answered
Well then to say nothing of him there is a Roman nobleman—a younger brother—of the Borghese house—Permit me to suppose him the man
With all my heart madam
She was easy while I was at a distance
But if the Chevalier Grandison She coloured at his name has done him ill offices—
The Chevalier Grandison madam is incapable of doing any man ill offices
Are you sure madam that the Chevalier has not art—He has great abilities Men of great abilities are not always to be trusted They dont strike till they are sure
He has no art madam He is above art He wants it not He is beloved whereever he goes He is equally noted for his prudence and freedom of heart He is above art repeated she with warmth
I own that he deserves everything from your family I dont wonder that he is caressed by you all But it is amazing to me that in contradiction to all the prudent maxims and cautions of your country such a young gentleman should have been admitted—I slopt
Why now you dont imagine that I—that I—She stopt and hesitated
A prudent woman would not put it in any mans power to give her a prejudice to persons of unexceptionable honour and to manage—
Nay madam now has somebody prejudiced you against your countryman—He is the most disinterested of men
I have heard young Ladies when he was here speak of him as an handsome man
An handsome man And is not Mr Grandison an handsome man Where will you see a man so handsome
And do you think he is so very extraordinary a man as to sense as I have heard him reported to be I was twice in his company—I thought indeed he looked upon himself as a man of consequence
Nay madam dont say he is not a modest man It is true he knows when to speak and when to be silent But he is not a confident man nor is he in the least conceited
Was there so much bravery in his relieving your brother as some people attribute to him in that happy event Two servants and himself well armed the chance of passengers on the same road The assassins that appeared but two their own guilt to encounter with—
Dear dear Mrs Beaumont with what prejudiced people have you conversed The Scripture says A prophet has no honour in his own country but Mr Grandison has not much from his own countrywoman
Well but did Mr Grandison ever speak to you of any one man as a man worthy of your favour
Did he—Yes of the Count of Belvedere He was more earnest in his favour—
Really
Yes really—than I thought he ought to be
Why so
Why so—Why because—because—Why what was it to him—you know
I suppose he was put upon it—
I believe so
Or he would not—
I believe if the truth were known you Mrs Beaumont hate Mr Grandison You are the only person that I ever in my life heard speak of him even with indifference
Tell me my dear Clementina What are you sincere thoughts of Mr Grandison person and mind
You may gather them from what I have said
That he is an handsome man a generous a prudent a brave a polite man
Indeed I think him to be all you have said And I am not singular
But he is a Mahometan —
A Mahometan madam—Ah Mrs Beaumont
And ah my dear Clementina—And do you think I have not found you out—Had you never known Mr Grandison you would not have scrupled to have been Countess of Belvedere
And can you think madam—
Yes yes my dear young Lady I can
My good Mrs Beaumont you dont know what I was going to say
Be sincere my dear young Lady Cannot a Lover talking to a second person be sincere
What madam a man of another religion A man obstinate in his errors a man who has never professed Love to me a man of inferior degree A man who owns himself absolutely dependent upon his fathers bounty His father living to the height of his estate—Forbid it pride dignity of birth duty religion—
Well then I may safely take up the praises of Mr Grandison You have imputed to me slight injustice prejudice against him Let me now shew you that the Prophet HAS honour with his countrywoman Let me collect his character from the mouth of every man who has spoken of him in my hearing or knowlege—His country has not in this age sent abroad a private man who has done it more credit He is a man of honour in every sense of the word If moral rectitude if practical religion your brother the Barone testifies this on his own experience were lost in the rest of the world it would without glare
or osentation be found in him He is courted by the best the wisest the most eminent men whereever he goes and he does good without distinction of religion sects or nation His own countrymen boast of him and apply to him for credentials to the best and most considerable men in their travels thro more countries than one In France particularly he is as much respected as in Italy He is descended from the best families in England both by father and mother and can be a Senator of it whenever he pleases He is heir to a very considerable estate and is as I am informed courted to ally with some of the greatest families in it Were he not born to a fortune he would make one You own him to be generous brave handsome—
O my dear dear Mrs Beaumont All this is too much too much—Yet all this I think him to be I can no longer resist you I own I own that I have no heart but for Mr Grandison And now as I dont doubt but my friends set you to find out the lovesick girl how shall I who cannot disown a secret you have so fairly and without condition come at ever look them in the face Yet let them know I will enable you to tell them how all this came about and how much I have struggled against a passion so evidently improper to be encouraged by a daughter of their house
He was in the first place as well you know the preserver of a beloved brothers life and that brother afterwards owned that had he followed his friendly advice he never would have fallen into the danger from which he rescued him
My father and mother presented him to me and bid me regard him as a fourth brother and it was not immediately that I found out that I could have but three brothers
My brothers deliverer proved to be the most amiable and humane and yet bravest of men
All my friends caressed him Neither family forms nor national forms were stood upon He had free access to us all as one of us
My younger brother was continually hinting to me his wishes that I were his Mr Grandison was above all other reward and my brother considered me in a kind light as able to reward him
My confessor by his fears and invectives rather confirmed than lessened my esteem for a man whom I thought injured by them
His own respectful and disinterested behaviour to me contributed to my attachment He always addressed me as his sister when he put on the familiar friend in the guise of a tutor I could not therefore arm against a man I had no reason to suspect
But still I knew not the strength of my passion for him till the Count of Belvedere was proposed to me with an earnestness that alarmed me Then I considered the Count as the interrupter of my hopes and yet I could not give the reason why I rejected him How could I when I had none to give but my prepossession in favour of another man A prepossession entirely hidden in my own heart
But still I thought I would sooner die than be the wife of a man of a religion contrary to my own I am a zealous Catholic myself All my relations are zealous Catholics How angry have I been at this obstinate Heretic as I have often called him the first heretic my dear Mrs Beaumont for once I did not love you that my soul detested not For he is as tenacious a Protestant as ever came out of England What had he to do in Italy Why did he not stay at home Or why if he must come abroad did he stay so long among us yet hold his obstinacy as if in defiance of the people he was so well received by
These were the reproaches that my heart in silence often cast upon him
I was at first concerned only for his souls sake
But afterwards finding him essential to my earthly happiness and yet resolving never to think of him if he became not a Catholic I was earnest for his conversion for my own sake hoping that my friends indulgence to me would make my wishes practicable for on his part I doubted not if that point were got over he would think an alliance with our family an honour to him
But when I found him invincible on this article I was resolved either to conquer my passion or die What did I not undergo in my endeavours to gain this victory over myself My confessor hurt me by terrors my woman teazed me my parents and two elder brothers and all my more distant relations urged me to determine in favour of the Count of Belvedere The Count was importunate The Chevalier was importunate in the Counts behalf—Good heaven What could I do—I was hurried as I may say I had not time given me to weigh ponder recollect How could I make my mother how could I make anybody my confident My judgment was at war with my passion and I hoped it would overcome I struggled yet every day the object appearing more worthy the struggle was too hard for me O that I had had a Mrs Beaumont to consult—Well might melancholy seize me—Silent melancholy
At last the Chevalier was resolved to leave us What pain yet what pleasure did this his resolution give me Most sincerely I hoped that his absence would restore my tranquillity
What a secret triumph did I gave myself on my behaviour to him before all my friends on the parting evening—My whole deportment was uniform I was chearful serene happy in myself and I made all my friends so I wished him happy whereever he set his foot and whatsoever he engaged in I thanked him with the rest of my friends for the benefits we had received from him▪ and the pleasure he had given
us in the time he had bestowed upon us and I wished that he might never want a friend so agreeand entertaining as he had been to us all
I was the more pleased with myself as I was not under a necessity of putting on stiffness or reserve to hide a heart too much affected I thought myself secure and stood out forwarder than he seemed to hope for and with more than my offered hand at the moment of his departure I thought I read in his eyes a concern for the first time that called for a pity which I imagined I myself wanted not Yet I had a pang at parting—When the door shut out the agreeable man never again thought I to be opened to give him entrance I sighed at the reflexion But who perceived it—I never could be insensible in a parting scene with less agreeable friends It was the easier for me to attribute to the gentleness of my heart the instant sensibility My father clasped me to his bosom My mother embraced me without mortifying me by saying for what My brother the bishop called me twenty fond names all my friends complimented me but only on my chearfulness and said I was once more their own Clementina I went to rest pleased that I had so happily acquitted myself and that possibly I contributed to the repose of dear friends whose repose I had been the cause of disturbing
But alas this conduct was too great for the poor Clementina to maintain My soul was too high set—You know the rest and I am lost to the joys of this life For I never never will be the wife of a man if I might who by his religion is an enemy to the faith I never wavered in nor would ever change were an earthly crown on the head of the man I love to be the reward and a painful death in the prime of my life the contrary
A flood of tears prevented farther speech She hid her face in my bosom She sighed—Dear Lady How she sighed
This madam is the account I have to give of what has passed between your beloved Clementina and me Never was there a more noble struggle between duty and affection tho her heart was too tender and in short the mans merits too dazling to allow it to be effectual She is unwilling that I should send you the particulars She shall be ashamed she says to look her father her mother in the face and she dreads still more if possible her confessors being made acquainted with the state of her heart and the cause of her disorder But I tell her it is absolutely necessary for her mother to know everything that I know in order to attempt a cure
This cure madam I am afraid will never be effected but by giving her in marriage to the happy man I must think him so who will be intitled by general consent to so great a blessing
You madam will act in this affair as you judge proper But if you can at Bologna at Urbino and Naples get over your family objections you will perhaps find yourselves obliged such are the young Ladys own scruples on the score of religion to take pains to persuade her to pursue her inclination and accept Mr Grandison for an husband
Be this as it may I would humbly recommend a gentle and soothing treatment of her She never knew yet what the contrary was and were she to experience that contrary now upon an occasion so very delicate and in which her Judgment and her Love are as she hints at variance I verily think she would not be able to bear it—That God direct you for the best whom you and yours have always served with signal devotion
I will only add That since the secret which had so long preyed upon her fine spirits is revealed she appears to be much more easy than before but yet she dreads the reception she shall meet with on her return to Bologna She begs of me when that return
shall be ordered to accompany her in order to enable her as she says to support her spirits She is very desirous to enter into a nunnery She says She never can be the wife of any other man and she thinks she ought not to be his on whom her heart is fixed
A word of comfort on paper from your honoured hand I know madam would do a great deal towards healing her wounded heart
I am madam with the greatest veneration and respect
Your Ladyships Most faithful humble servant HORTENSIA BEAUMONT
LET me add my good Miss Byron that the Marchioness sent an answer to this Letter expressing the highest obligation and gratitude to Mrs Beaumont and inclosed a Letter to her daughter filled with tender and trulymotherly consolation inviting her back to Bologna out of hand and her amiable friend with her Promising in the name of her father and brothers a most indulgent welcome and assuring her that everything should be done that could be done to make her happy in her own way
Wedn Night Mar 29
I Inclose my Lucy the doctors third pacquet From its contents you will pity Sir Charles as well as Clementina and if you enter impartially into the situation of the family and allow as much to their zeal for a religion they are satisfied with as you will do for Sir Charless steadiness in his you will also pity them They are all good they are all considerate A great deal is to be said for them tho much more
for Sir Charles who insisted not upon that change of religion in the Lady which they demanded from him
How great does he appear in my eyes A confessor tho not a martyr one may call him for his religion and country—How deep was his distress A mind so delicate as his and wishing for the sake of the Sex and the Lady and Family as he did rather to be repulsed by them than to be obliged himself to decline their intended favour
You will admire the Lady in her sweetlymodest behaviour on his first visit before her mother but more for the noble spirit she endeavoured to resume in her conversation with him in the garden
But how great will he appear in your eyes in the eyes of my grandmother and aunt Selby for that noble apostrophe—
But O my Religion and my Country I cannot cannot renounce you What can this short life promise what can it give to warrant such a sacrifice
Yet her conduct you will find is not inferior to his firmly persuaded as she is of the truth of her religion and loving him with an ardor that he had from the first restrained in himself from hopelessness
But to admire her as she deserves I should transcribe all she says and his account of her whole behaviour
O my dear Who could have acted as Clementina acted—Not I fear
Your HARRIET BYRON
Dr Bartletts third Letter
YOUR sixth command madam is
To give you the particulars of Mr Grandisons reception from the Marchioness and her Clementina on his return to Bologna from Vienna at the invitation of Signor Jeronymo
Mr Grandison was received at his arrival with
great tokens of esteem and friendship by the Marquis himself and by the Bishop
Signor Jeronymo who still kept his chamber the introducer being withdrawn embraced him And now said he is the affair that I have had so long in view determined upon O Chevalier you will be a happy man Clementina will be yours You will be Clementinas And now indeed do I embrace my brother—But I detain you not Go to the happy girl She is with her mother and both are ready to receive and welcome you Allow for the gentle spirit She will not be able to say half she thinks
Camilla then appeared to conduct me says Mr Grandison to her Ladies in the Marchionesss drawingroom She whispered me in the passage Welcome thrice welcome best of men Now will you be rewarded for all your goodness
I found the Marchioness sitting at her toilette richly dressed as in ceremony but without attendants even Camilla retired as soon as she had opened the door for me
The lovely Clementina stood at the back of her mothers chair She was elegantly dressed But her natural modesty heightened by a glowing consciousness that seemed to arise from the occasion gave her advantages that her richest jewels could not have given her
The Marchioness stood up I kissed her hand—You are welcome Chevalier said she The only man on earth that I could thus welcome or is fit to be so welcomed—Clementina my dear—turning round and taking her hand
The young Lady had shrunk back her complexion varying now glowing now pale—Excuse her voice said the condescending mother her heart bids you welcome
Judge for me my dear Dr Bartlett how I must be affected at this gracious reception I who knew
not the terms that were to be prescribed to me
Spare me dear Lady thought I spare me my Conscience and take all the worlds wealth and glory to yourselves I shall be rich enough with Clementina
The Marchioness seated her in her own chair I approached her But how could I with that grateful ardor that but for my doubts would have sprung to my lips Modest Love however was attributed to me and I had the praise wholly for that which was but partly due to it
I drew a chair for the Marchioness and at her command another for myself The mother took one hand of her bashful daughter I presumed to take the other The amiable Lady held down her blushing face and reproved me not as she did once before on the like freedom for being too free Her mother asked me questions of an indifferent nature as of my journey of the courts I had visited since I left them when I heard from England after my father my sisters The latter questions in a kind way as if she were asking after relations that were to be her own
What a mixture of pain had I with the favour shewn me and for the favour shewn me For I questioned not but a change of religion would be proposed and insisted on and I had no doubt in my mind about my own
After a short conversation the amiable daughter arose courtesied low to her mother with dignity to me and withdrew
Ah Chevalier said the Marchioness as soon as she was gone little did I think when you le•t us that we should so soon see you again and on the account we see you But you know how to receive your good fortune with gratitude Your modesty keeps in countenance our forwardness
I bowed—What could I say
I shall leave so will my Lord particular subjects to be talked of between the Bishop and you You
will if it be not your own fault have a treasure in Clementina and a treasure with her We shall do the same things for her as if she had married the man we wished her to have when we thought her affections disengaged You may believe we love our daughter—Else—
I applauded their indulgent goodness
I can have no doubt Mr Grandison that you love Clementina above all women
I had never seen the woman Dr Bartlett that I could have loved so well had I not restrained myself at first from the high notion I knew they had of their quality and rank from considerations of the difference in religion of the trust and confidence the family placed in me and by the resolution I had made as a guard to myself from the time of my entering upon my travels of never aiming to marry a foreigner
I assured the Marchioness that I was absolutely disengaged in my affections That not having presumed to encourage hopes of the good fortune that seemed to await me I could hardly yet flatter myself that so great an happiness was reserved for me
She answered That I deserved it all That I knew the value they had for me That Clementinas regard was founded in virtue That my character was my happiness That however what the world would say had been no small point with them but that was as good as got over and she doubted not but all that depended upon me would as well from generosity as gratitude be complied with
Here thought I is couched the expectation And if so would to heaven I had never seen Italy
The Marquis joined his Lady and me soon after His features had a melancholy cast This dear girl said he has fastened upon me part of her malady Parents Chevalier who are blessed with even hopeful children are not always happy This girl—But no
more She is a good child In the general oeconomy of Providence none of the sons of men are unhappy but some others are the happier for it Our son the Bishop will talk to you upon terms
I have hinted to the Chevalier my Lord said the Marchioness the happiness that waits him
How does the poor girl—Bashful enough I suppose
Indeed my Lord she cannot look up answered the Lady
Poor thing I supposed it would be so
Why why thought I was I suffered to see this mother this daughter before their conditions were proposed to me
But what indulgent parents are these Dr Bartlett What an excellent daughter Yet not to be happy But how much more unhappily circumstanced did I think myself—I who had rather have been rejected with disdain by twenty women in turn than to be obliged to decline the honour intended me by a family I reverenced
Thus far Mr Grandison This madam will answer your question as to the VIth article but I believe a few more particulars will be acceptable
The Marquis led me proceeds Mr Grandison into the chamber of Signor Jeronymo Your good fortune Chevalier said he as we entered it is owing to Jeronymo who owes his life to you I bless God we are a family that know not what ingratitude means
I made my acknowlegements both to father and son
The Marquis then went into public affairs and soon after left us together
I was considering whether I had best tell that sincere friend my apprehensions in relation to the articles of religion and residence for he had with an air of humour congratulated me on the philosophical manner
in which I bore my good fortune when Camilla entered and whispered me of her own head as she said That her young Lady was just gone into the garden
I dare say it was of her own head For Camilla has a great deal of goodnature and is constantly desirous of obliging where she thinks she shall not offend anybody
Follow her then said Jeronymo who heard what Camilla said Clementina perhaps expects you
Camilla waited for me at the entrance into the garden One word Sir if you please I am afraid of the return of my young Ladys thoughtfulness She says she is ashamed of the poor figure she made before her mother She is sure she must look mean in your eyes A man to be sent for Camilla said she in compliment to my weakness Why did not my too indulgent father bid me conquer my folly or die O that I had not owned my attachment
Naughty Mrs Beaumont said she Had it not been for you my own bosom had contained the secret till shame and indignation against myself had burst my heart
She is resolved she says to resume a spirit becoming her birth and quality and I am afraid of her elevations Her great apprehensions are that with all this condescension of her parents obstacles will arise on your part If so she says she shall not be able to beat her own reflexions nor look her friends in the face
My dear Dr Bartlett how have I who have hitherto so happily escaped the snares by which the feet of unreflectiong youth are often entangled by women of light same been embarrassed by perverse accidents that have arisen from my friendships with the worthy of the Sex Was there ever a more excellent family than this—Every individual of it is excellent And is not then worthiness and even their piety the cause to which our mutual difficulties are owing
But O my Religion and my Country I cannot canno• renounce you What can this short life give what can it promise to warrant such a sacrifice
I said nothing to Camilla you may believe of what I could or could not do yet she saw my distress She took notice of it Being firmly persuaded of the excellency of her own religion she wondered that a man of reflexion and reading could be of a contrary one Her heart she said as well as the heart of her young Lady boded an unhappy issue to ou• Loves Heaven avert it said the honest woman But what m y we not fear by way of judgment where a young Lady—Forgive me Sir—presers a man she thinks she ought not to prefer and where a gentleman will not be convinced of errors which the Church condemns
She again begged I would forgive her I praised her good intention and sincere dealing and leaving her▪ went into the garden
I sound the young Lady in the Orangegrove You have been in that ga den Dr Bartlett
She turned her face towards me as I drew near her and seeing who it was stopt
Clementina armed with conscious worthiness as if she had resumed the same spirit which had animated her on the eve of my departure from Bologna condescended to advance two or three paces towards me
Lovely woman thought I encourage the true dignity that shines in that noble aspect—Who knows what may be our destiny
I bowed Veneration esteem and concern from the thought of what that might be all joined to make my obeisance profound
I was going to speak She prevented me Her air and manner were great
You are welcome Sir said▪ she My mamma bid me say welcome I could not then speak And she
was so good to you as to answer for my heart My voice is now found But tell me—Do I see the same generous the same noble Grandison that I have heretofore seen—Or do I see a man inclined to slight the creature whom her indulgent parents are determined to oblige even to the sacrifice of all their views
You see madam the same Grandison his heart only oppressed with the honour done him and with the fear that the happiness designed for him may yet be frustrated If it should how shall I be able to support myself
What a difficult situation my dear Dr Bartlett was mine—Equally afraid to urge my suit with ardor or to be imagined capable of being indifferent to her favour
What do you fear Sir—You have grounds in your own heart perhaps for your fear If you have let me know them I am not afraid to know them Let me tell you that I opposed the step taken I doclared that I would sooner die than it should be taken It was to YOU they said and you would know how to receive as you ought the distinction paid you I have a soul Sir not unworthy of the spirit of my ancestors Tell me what you fear—I only fear one thing and that is that I should be thought to be more in your power than in my own
Noble Lady And think you that while my happiness is not yet absolutely resolved upon I have not reason to fear—You will always madam be in your own power You will be most so when in mine My gratitude will ever prompt me to acknowlege your goodness to me as a condescension
But say tell me Sir Did you not at first receiving the invitation despise in absence the Clementina that now perhaps in presence you have the goodness to pity
O that the highsould Clementina would not think
so contemptibly of the man before her as she must think when she puts a question that would intitle him to infamy could he presume to think an answer to it necessary
Well Sir I shall see how far the advances made an the wrong side will be justified or rather countenanced by the advances or shall I say I will if you please condescensions to be made on yours
What a petulance thought I But can the generous the noble Clementina knowing that terms will be proposed with which in honour and conscience I cannot comply put my regard for her on such a test as this—I will not suppose that she is capable of mingling art with her magnanimity
Is this madam said I a generous anticipation Forgive me But when your friends are so good as to think me incapable of returning ingratitude for obligation I hope I shall not be classed by their beloved daughter among the lowest of mankind
Excuse me Sir the woman who has been once wrong has reason to be always afraid of herself if you do not think meanly of me I will endeavour to think well of myself and then Sir I shall think better of you if better I can think For after all did I not more mistrust myself than I do you I should not perhaps be so capricious as I am afraid I sometimes am
The Marquis has hinted to me madam That your brother the Bishop is to discourse with me on the subject now the nearest to my heart of all others May I presume to address myself to their beloved daughter upon it without being thought capable of endeavouring to prepossess her in my favour before my Lord and I meet
I will answer you frankly Sir There are preliminaries to be settled and till they are I that know there are do not think myself at liberty to hear you upon any subject that may tend to prepossession
I acquiesce madam I would not for the world be thought to wish for the honour of your attention while it is improper for you to favour me with it
I did not know Dr Bartlett but upon a supposition of a mutual interest between us as I had hoped she would allow Clementina might wish that I would lead to some particular discourse Tho modesty becomes ours as well as the other sex yet it would be an indelicacy not to prevent a Lady in some certain cases But thus discouraged Perhaps madam said I the attendance I do myself the honour to pay you here may not be agreeable to the Marquis
Then Sir you will choose perhaps to withdraw But dont—Yes do
I respectfully withdrew but she taking a winding alley which led into that in which I slowly walked we met again I am afraid said she I have been a little petulant Indeed Sir I am not satisfied with myself I wish —And there she stopt
What madam do you wish Favour me with your wishes If it be in my power—
It is not interrupted she I wish I had not been at Florence The Lady I was with is a good woman but she was too hard for me Perhaps and she sighed had I not been with her I had been at rest and happy before now but if I had not there is a pleasure as well as pain in melancholy But now I am so fretful—If I hated the bitterest enemy I have as much as at times I hate myself I should be a very bad creature
This was spoken with an air so melancholy as greatly disturbed me God grant thought I that the articles of Religion and residence may be agreed upon between the Bishop and me
Here my good Miss Byron I close this Letter Sir Charles has told you briefly the event of the conference between the Bishop and him and I hasten to obey you in your next article
Thursday Morn Mar 30
I Send you now inclosed the doctors fourth Letter I believe I must desire my grandmamma and my aunt Selby to send for me down
We shall all be in London this evening
Would to heaven I had never come to it—What of pleasure have I had in it—This abominable Sir Hargrave Pollexfen—But for him I had been easy and happy since but for him I had never wanted the relief of Sir Charles Grandison never had known him Fame might perhaps have brought to my ears in general conversation as other persons of distinction are talked of some of his benevolent actions and he would have attracted my admiration without costing me one sigh And yet had it been so I should then have known none of those lively sensibilities that have mingled pleasure with my pain on the pride I have had in being distinguished as a sister to the sisters of so extraordinary a man O that I had kept my foolish heart free I should then have had enough to boast of for my whole life enough to talk of to every one And when I had been asked by my companions and intimates What diversions what entertainments I had been at I should have said
I have been in company and conversed with SIR CHARLES GRANDISON and been favoured and distinguished by all his family
And I should have passed many a happy winter evening when my companions came to work and read with me at Selbyhouse in answering their questions about all these and Sir Charles would have been known among us principally by the name of The fine Gentleman and my young friends would have come about me and asked me to tell them something more of The Excellent man
But now my ambition has overthrown me Aiming wishing to be everything I am nothing If I am asked about him or his sisters I shall seek to evade the subject and yet what other subject can I talk of For what have I seen what have I known since I left Northamptonshire but Him and Them and what must lead to Him and Them And what indeed but Him and Them since I have known this family have I wished to see and to know
On reviewing the above how have I as I see suffered my childish fancies to delude me into a short forgetfulness of his of every bodys distresses—But O my Lucy my heart is torn in pieces and I verily think more for the unhappy Clementinas sake than for my own How severely do I pay for my curiosity Yet it was necessary that I should know the worst So Sir Charles seems to have thought by the permission he has given to Dr Bartlett to oblige me and through me his sisters and all you my own friends
Your pity will be more raised on reading the Letter I inclose not only for Clementina and Sir Charles but for the whole family none of whom tho all unhappy are to be blamed You will dearly love the noble Jeronymo and be pleased with the young Ladys faithful Camilla But my dear there is so much tenderness in Sir Charless woe—It must be Love—But he ought to love Clementina She is a glorious thounhappy young creature I must not have one spark of generosity left in my heart I must be lost wholly in Self if I did not equally admire and love her
Dr Bartletts fourth Letter
AS I remember madam Sir Charles mentions to you in a very pathetic manner the distress he was in when the terms and conditions on which he was to be allowed to call the noble Clementina his
were proposed to him as they were by the Bishop He has briefly told you the terms and his grief to be obliged to disappoint the expectation of persons so deservedly dear to him But you will not I believe be displeased if I dwell a little more on these particulars tho they are not commanded from me
The Bishop when he had acquainted Mr Grandison with the terms said You are silent my dear Grandison You hesitate What Sir Is a proposal of a daughter of one of the noblest families in I•aly that daughter a Clementina to be slighted by a •an of a private family a foreigner of dependent fortunes her dowry not unworthy of a Princes acceptance Do you hesitate upon such a proposal as this Sir
My Lord I am grieved rather than surprised at the proposal I was apprehensive it would be made My joy at receiving the condescending invitation and at the honours done me on my arrival otherwise would have been immoderate
A debate then followed upon some articles in which the Church of Rome and the Protestant Churches differ Mr Grandison would fain have avoided it but the Bishop supposing he should have some advantages in the argument which he met not with would not permit him He was very warm with Mr Grandison more than once which did not help his cause
The particulars of this debate I will not at this time give you They would carry me into great length and I have much to transcribe that I believe from what Sir Charles has let me see of your manner of writing to your friends you would prefer To that I will proceed after a passage or two which will shew you how that debate about the difference in Religion went off
You will call to mind Chevalier said the Bishop
that your church allows of a possibility of salvation out of its pale—Ours does not
My Lord our church allows not of its members indulging themselves in capital errors against conviction But I hope that no more need to be said on this subject
I think replied the Bishop we will quit it I did not expect that you were so firmly rooted in error as I find you But to the point on which we began I should think it an extraordinary misfortune were we to find ourselves reduced to the necessity of reasoning a private man into the acceptance of our sister Clementina Let me tell you Sir that were she to know that you but hesitate —He spoke with earnestness and reddened
Pardon an interruption my Lord You are disposed to be warm I will not so much as offer to defend myself from any imputations that may in displeasure be cast upon me as if I were capable of slighting the honour intended me of a Lady who is worthy of a Prince I am persuaded that your Lordship cannot think such a desence necessary I am indeed a private man but not inconsiderable if the being able to enumerate a long race of ancestors whom hitherto I have not disgraced will give me consideration But what my Lord is ancestry I live to my own heart My principles were known before I had the condescending invitation Your Lordship would not persuade me to change them when I cannot think them wrong and since as you have heard I have something to offer when called upon in support of them
You will consider this matter my dear Chevalier It is you I think that are disposed to be warm but you are a valuable man We as well as our sister wish to have you among us Our church would wish it Such a proselyte will justify us to every other consideration and to all our friends Consider of it Grandison but let it not be known to the principals
of our family that you think consideration necessary The dear Clementina particularly must not know it Your person Chevalier is not so dear to the excellent creature as your soul Hence it is that we are all willing to encourage in her a flame so pure and so bright
My distress my Lord is beyond the power of words to describe I revere I honour and will to my last hour the Marquis and Marchioness of Porretta and on better motives than for their grandeur or nobility Their sons—You know not my Lord the pride I have always had to be distinguished even by a nominal relation to them And give me your Clementina without the hard conditions you prescribe and I shall be happy beyond my highest wish I desire not dowry with her I have a father on whose generosity and affection I can rely But I must repeat my Lord that my principles are so well known that I hoped a compromise would be accepted—I would not for the world compel your sister The same liberty that I crave I would allow
And will you not take time Sir to consider Are you absolutely determined
If your Lordship know the pain it gives me to say that I am you would pity me
Well Sir I am sorry for it Let us go in to Signor Jeronymo He has been your advocate ever since he knew you Jeronymo has gratitude but you Chevalier have no affections
I thank God said I that your Lordship does not do me justice
He led me into his brothers apartment
There what did I not suffer from the Friendship from the Love of that brother▪ and from the urgency of the Bishop But what was the result
The Bishop asked me If he were to conduct me to his father to his mother to his sister Or to allow me to depart without seeing them—This was the alternative My compliance or noncompliance was to
be thus indicated I respectfully bowed I recommended myself to the favour of the two brothers and thro them to that of the three trulyrespectable persons they had named and withdrew to my lodgings with a heart sorely distressed
I was unable to stir out for the remainder of the day The same chair into which I threw myself upon my first coming in held me for hours
In the evening Camilla in disguise made me a visit On my servants withdrawing revealing herself O Sir said she what a distracted family have I left They know not of my coming hither but I could not forbear this officiousness I cannot stay But let me just tell you how unhappy we are and your own generosity will suggest to you what is best to be done
As soon as you were gone my Lord Bishop acquainted my Lady Marchioness with what had passed between you O Sir you have an affectionate friend in Signor Jeronymo He endeavoured to soften every thing My Lady Marchioness acquainted my Lord with the Bishops report I never saw that good nobleman in such a passion It is not necessary to tell you what he said—
In a passion with me Camilla
Yes He thought the whole family dishonoured Sir
The Marquis della Porretta is the worthiest of men Camilla said I I honour him—But proceed
The Marchioness in the tenderest manner broke the matter to my young Lady I was present She apprehended that there might be occasion for my attendance and commanded me to stay
Before she could speak all she had to say my young Lady threw herself on her knees to her mamma and blessing her for her goodness to her begged her to spare the rest I see said she that I a daughter of the Porretta family your daughter madam am refused
Palliate not I beseech you the indignity You need not It is enough that I am refused Surely madam your Clementina is not so base in spirit as to need your maternal consolation on such a contempt as this I feel for my papa for you madam and for my brothers I feel the indignity Blessings follow the man whereever he goes It would be mean to be angry with him He is his own master and now he has made me my own mistress Never fear madam but this affair now will sit as light upon me as it ought His humility will allow him to be satisfied with a meaner wife You madam my papa my brothers shall not find me mean
The Marchioness embraced with tears of joy her beloved daughter She brought my Lord to her and reported what her daughter had said He also tenderly embraced the dear young Lady and rejoyced in her assurances that now the cure was effected
But unseasonably as the event shewed Father Marescotti being talked with was earnest to be allowed to visit her Then he said was the proper time the very crisis to urge her to accept of the Count of Belvedere
I was bid to tell her that his Reverence desired to attend her
O let me go said she to Florence to my dear Mrs Beaumont—Tomorrow morning let me go and not see Father Marescotti till I can see him as I wish to see him
But the good Father prevailed He meant the best
He was with her half an hour He left her in a melancholy way When her mamma went to her she sound her spiritless her eyes fixed and as gloomy as ever She was silent to two or three of her mothers questions and when she did speak it was with wildness but declaring without being solicited in the Count of Belvederes favour against marrying him or any man in the world
Her mother told her she should go to Florence as soon as she pleased But then the humour was off Would to Heaven she had gone before she saw his Reverence So they all now wish
Camilla said she to me when we were alone Was it necessary to load the Chevalier Grandison Was it necessary to inveigh against him It was ungenerous to do so Was the man obliged to have the creature whose forwardness had rendered her contemptible in his eyes I could not bear to hear him inveighed against But never never let me hear his named mentioned But Camilla I cannot bear being despised neither
She arose from her seat and from that moment her humour took a different turn She now talks She raves She starts She neither sits nor stands with quietness—She walks up and down her room at other times with passion and hurry yet weeps not tho she makes everybody else weep She speaks to herself and answers herself and as I guess repeats part of the talk that passed between Father Marescotti and her But still To be despised are the words she oftenest repeats—Jesu once said she—To be despised —And by an English Protestant Who can bear that
In this way Sir is Lady Clementina The sweetest creature I see I see you have compassion Sir You never wanted humanity Generosity is a part of your nature I am sure you love her—I see you love her—I pain your noble heart Indeed indeed Sir Lady Clementinas Love extended beyond the limits of this world She hoped to be yours to all eternity
Well might Camilla the sensible the faithful the affectionate Camilla the attendant from insant years of her beloved Clementina thus run on without interruption I could not speak And had I been able to what purpose should I have pleaded to Camilla the superior attachement which occasioned an anguish that words cannot describe
What can I say but thank you my good Camilla for your intention I hope you have eased your own heart but you have loaded mine—Nevertheless I thank you Would to Heaven that your Ladys own wishes had been complied with that she had been encouraged to go to the excellent Mrs Beaumont The first natural impulses of the distressed heart often point out the best alleviation Would to Heaven they had been pursued I have great dependence on the generous friendship of Signor Jeronymo All that is in my power to do I will do I honour I venerate every one of the trulynoble family I never can deserve their favour On all occasions Camilla let them know my devotion to them
I beg of God said me to put it into your hear••o restore the tranquillity of a family that was till lately the happiest in Bologna It may not be yet too late I beg you to excuse my officiousness Pray take no notice that I have waited on you I shall be wanted
She was hastening away Good Camilia said I taking a ring of some value from my finger and forcing it upon hers she is above accepting of pecuniary presents and struggled against this Accept this as a remembrance not acknowlegement I may be forbid the palace of the Marquis della Porretta and so have no opportunity again to see the equally faithful and obliging Camilla
What other conditions could have been prescribed Dr Bartlett that I should have refused to comply with How was I anew distressed at the account Camilla gave me But my great consolation in the whole transaction is that my own heart on the maturest deliberation acquits me And the rather as it is impossible for me to practise a greater piece of self-denial For can there be on earth a nobler Lady than Clementina
The next morning early Mr Grandison received the following Letter from his friend Signor Jeronymo
I translated it my good Miss Byron at the time I received it I will send you the translation only
My dear Chevalier
SHALL I blame you—I cannot Shall I blame my father my mother—They blame themselves for the free access you were allowed to have to their Clementina yet they own that you acted nobly But they had forgot that Clementina had eyes Yet who knew not her discernment Who knew not her regard for merit whereever she found it Can I therefore blame my sister—Indeed no Has she a brother whom I can blame—No But ought I not to blame myself The dear creature owned it seems to Mrs Beaumont that my declaration in your favour which was made long before you knew it was one of her influences Must I therefore accuse myself—If I regard my intention gratitude for a life preserved by you and for a sense of my social duties soul as well as body indebted to you tho a Protestant yourself will not suffer it Is there then nobody whom we can blame for the calamity befallen us—How strangely is that calamity circumstanced
But is there so irreconcileable a difference between the two religious—There is The Bishop says there is Clementina thinks there is My father my mother think there is
But does your father think so Will you put the whole matter on that issue Chevalier
O no you will not You are as determined as we are Yet surely with less reason
But I debate not the matter with you I know you are a master of the question
But what is to be done Shall Clementina perish Will not the gallant youth who ventured his life so successfully to save a brother exert himself to preserve a sister
Come and see the way she is in—Yet they will not admit you into her presence while she is in that way
The sense she has of her dignity debased and the perpetual expostulations and apprehensions of her zealous confessor—Can the good man think it his duty to wound and tear in pieces a mind tenacious of its honour and of that of the Sex At last you see I have found somebody to accuse—But I come to my motive of giving you this trouble
It is to request you to make me a visit Breakfast with me my dear Chevalier this morning You will perhaps see nobody else
Camilla has told me and only me that she attended you last night She tells me how greatly you are grieved I should renounce your friendship were you not At my soul I pity you because I knew long since your firm attachment to your religion and because you love Clementina
I wish I were able to attend you I would save you the pain of this visit for I know it must pain you But come nevertheless
You hinted to my brother that you thought as your principles were so well known a compromise would be accepted—Explain yourself to me upon this compromise If I can smooth the way between you—Yet I despair that any-thing will do but your conversion They love your soul they think they love it better than you do yourself Is there not a merit in them which you cannot boast in return
The General I hear came to town last night We have not seen him yet He had business with the Gonfalionere I think you must not meet He is warm He adores Clementina He knew not till last night that the Bishop broke it to him at that magistrates our unhappy situation What a disappointment One of the principal views he had in coming was to do you honour and and to give his sister pleasure Ah
Sir he came to be present at two solemn acts The one your Nuptials in consequence of the other—You must not meet It would go to my heart to have offence given you by any of my family especially in our own hou e
Come however I long to see you and to comfort you whether your hard heart I did not use to think it a hard one will allow you or not to give comfort to
Your everaffectionate and faithful friend JERONYMO della PORRETTA
I accepted of the invitation My heart was in this family I longed before this Letter came to see and to hear from it The face of the meanest servant belonging to it would have been more than welcome to me What however were my hopes Yet do you think Dr Bartlett that I had not pain in going a pain that took more than its turn with the desire I had once more to enter doors that used to be opened to me with so much pleasure on both sides
Dr Bartletts fifth Letter
MR Grandison thus proceeds I was introduced to Signor Jeronymo He sat expecting me He bowed more stiffly than usual in return to my freer compliment
I see said I that I have lost my friend
Impossible said he It cannot be
Then speaking of his sister Dear creature said he A very bad night My poor mother has been up with her ever since Three oclock Nobody else has any influence with her These talking fits are worse than her silent ones
What could I say My soul was vexed My friend saw it and was grieved for me He talked of indifferent things I could not follow him in them
He then entered upon the subject that would not long allow of any other I expect the General said he I will not I think have you see each other I have ordered notice to be given me before any one of the family is admitted while you are with me If you choose not to see the General or my father or mother should they step in to make their morning compliments you can walk down the backstairs into the garden or into the next chamber
I am not the least sufferer in this distress replied I You have invited me If on your own account you would have me withdraw I will but else I cannot conceal myself
This is like you It is you yourself O Grandison that we could be real brothers—In soul we are so But what is the compromise you hinted at
I then told him That I would reside one year in Italy another in England by turns if the dear Clementina would accompany me if not but three months in England in every year As to religion she should keep her own her confessor only to be a man of known discretion
He shook his head Ill propose it as from yourself if you would have me do so Chevalier It would do with me but will not with anybody else I have undertaken for more than that already but it will not be heard of Would to God Chevalier that you for my sake for all our sakes—But I know you have a great deal to say on this subject as you told my brother New converts added he may be zealous but you old Protestants Protestants by descent as I may say tis strange you should be so very stedfast You have not many young gentlemen I believe who would be so very tenacious such offers such advantages—And surely you must love my sister All our family you surely love I will presume to say they deserve your love and they give the strongest proofs that can be given of their regard for you
Signor Jeronymo expected not an argumentative answer to what he said My stedfastness was best expressed and surely it was sufficiently expressed the circumstances of the case so interesting by silence
Just then came in Camilla The Marchioness Sir knows you are here She desires you will not go till she sees you She will attend you here I believe
She is persuading Lady Clementina to be blooded She has an aversion to that operation She begs it may not be done She has been hitherto on that account bled by leaches The Marquis and the Bishop are both gone out They could not bear her solicitations to them to save her as she called it
The Marchioness soon after entered Care melancholy yet trenderness was in her aspect Grief for her daughters malady seemed fixed in the lines of her fine face Keep your seat Chevalier She sat down sighed wept but would not have had her tears seen
Had I not been so deeply concerned in the cause of her grief I could have endeavoured to comfort her But what could I say I turned my head aside I would also have concealed my emotion but Signor Jeronymo took notice of it
The poor Chevalier kindly said he with an accent of compassion—
I dont doubt it answered she as kindly tho he spoke not out what he had to say He may be obdurate but not ungrateful
Excellent woman How was I affected by her generosity This was taking the direct road to my heart You know that heart Dr Bartlett and what a task it had
Jeronymo enquired after his sisters health I was afraid to enquire
Not worse I hope but so talkative poor thing She burst into tears
I presumed to take her hand—O Madam Will no compromise Will no—
It ought not Chevalier I cannot urge it We know your power too well we know your power over the dear creature She will not be long a Catholic if she be yours and you know what we then should think of her precious soul—Better to part with her for ever—Yet how can a mother—Her tears spoke what her lips could not utter
Recovering her voice I have left her said she contending with the doctors against being let blood She was so earnest with me to prevent it that I could no stay It is over by this time—She rang
At that moment to the astonishment of all three in ran the dear Clementina herself—A happy escape Thank God said she—Her arm bound up
She had felt the lancet but did not bleed more than two or three drops
O my mamma And you would have run away from me too would you—You dont use to be cruel and to leave me with these doctors—See see and she held out her lovely arm a little boody regarding nobody but her mother who as well as w was speechless with surprize—They did attempt to wound but they could not obtain their cruel ends—And I ran for shelter to my mammas arms throwing hers about her neck Dearest dearest madam dont let me be sacrificed What has your poor child done to be thus treated—
O my Clementina
And O my mamma too Have I not suffered enough—
The door opened She cast her fearful eye to it clinging faster to her mother—They are come to take me Begone Camilla It was she begone when I bid you They shant take me—My mamma will save me from them—Wont you my mamma clasping more servently her arms about her neck and hiding her face in her bosom Then lifting up her face Begone I tell you Camilla They shant have me▪Camilla withdrew
Brother my dear brother you will protect me wont you
I arose I was unable to bear this affecting scene—She saw me
Good God said she—Then in English breaking out into that line of Hamlet which she had taken great notice of when we read that play together—
Angels and ministers of grace defend us
She left her mother and stept gently towards me looking earnestly with her face held out as if she were doubtful whether it were I or not
I snatched her hand and pressed it with my lips—O madam—Dearest Lady—I could say no more
It is he It is he indeed madam turning her head to her mother one hand held up as in surprize as I detained the other
The sons arms supported the almost fainting mother his tears mingling with hers
For Gods sake for my sake dear Grandison said he and stopt
I quitted Clementinas hand Jeronymos unhealed wounds had weakened him and I hastened to support the Marchioness
O Chevalier spare your concern for me said she My childs head is of more consequence to me than my own heart
What was it of distress that I did not at that moment feel
The young Lady turning to us—Well Sir said she Here is sad work Sad work to be sure Somebody is wrong I wont say who—But you will not let these doctors use me ill—Will you—See here shewing her bound up arm to me—what they would have done—See They did get a drop or two but no more And I sprung from them and ran for it
Her mother then taking her attention My dearest mamma How do you—
O my child and she clasped her arms about her Clementina
Camilla came in She added by her grief to the distressful scene She threw her arms kneeling about the Marchioness O my dearest Lady said she—The Marchioness feeling for her salts and taking them out of her pocket and smelling to them Unclasp me Camilla said she I am better Are the doctors gone
No madam whispered Camilla But they say It is highly proper and they talk of blistering—
Not her head I hope—The dear creature when she used to value herself upon any-thing, took pride as well she might in her hair
Now you are whispering my mamma—And this impertinent Camilla is come—Camilla they shall not have me I tell you—See barbarous wretches what they have done to me already—again holding up her arm and then with indignation tearing off the fillet
Her brother begged of her to submit to the operation Her mother joined her gentle command—Well I wont love you brother said she You are in the plot against me—But here is one who will protect me laying her hand upon my arm and looking earnestly in my face with such a mixture of woe and tenderness in her eye as pierced my very soul
Persuade her Chevalier said the Marchioness
My good young Lady Will you not obey your mamma You are not well Will you not be well See how you distress your noble brother
She stroked her brothers cheek It was wet with his tears with a motion inimitably tender her voice as inimitably soothing—Poor Jeronymo My dearest brother And have you not suffered enough from vile assassins Poor dear brother—and again stroked his cheek—How was I affected
A fresh gush of tears broke from his eyes—Ah Grandison said he
O why why said I did I accept of your kind invitation This distress could not have been so deep had not I been present
See see Chevalier holding out her spread hand to me Jeronymo weeps—He weeps for his sister I believe—These—Look my hand is wet with them are the tears of my dear Jeronymo My hand—See is wet with a brothers tears—And you madam are affected too turning to her mother It is a grievous thing to see men weep What ail they—Yet I cannot weep—Have they softer hearts than mine—Dont weep Chevalier—See Jeronymo has done—I would stroke your cheek too if it would stop your tears—But what is all this for—It is because of these doctors I believe—But Camilla bid them begone They shant have me
Dearest madam said I submit to your mammas advice Your mamma wishes you to suffer them to breathe a vein▪It is no more—Your Jeronymo also beseeches you to permit them
And do you wish it too Chevalier—Do you wish to see me wounded—To see my heart bleeding at my arm I warrant Say can you be so hardhearted
Let me join with your mamma with your brother to entreat it For your fathers sake For—
For your sake Chevalier—Well will it do you good to see me bleed
I withdrew to the window I could not stand this question put with an air of tenderness for me and in an accent equally tender
The irresistable Lady O what eloquence in her disorder followed me and laying her hand on my arm looking earnestly after my averted face as if she would not suffer me to hide it from her—Will it will it comfort you to see me bleed—Come then be comforted I will bleed But you shall not leave me You shall see that these doctors shall not kill me quite
O Dr Bartlett How did this address to me torture my very soul
Camilla proceeded she I will bleed Madam to her mother Will it please you to have me bleed Will it please you my Jeronymo turning to him—And Sir Sir stepping to me with quickness Will it please you —Why then Camilla bid the doctors come in—What would I not do to please such kind friends You grudge not your tears And as I cannot give you tears for tears from my eyes Shall not my arm weep—But do you stand by me Chevalier while it is done You will Wont you—seeking again with her eye my averted face
O that my life thought I would be an effectual offering for the restoring the peace of mind of this dear Lady and her family and that it might be taken by any hand but my own—But my Conscience—Prepossessed as I am in favour of my own religion and in disfavour of that I am wished to embrace How thought I can I make a sacrifice of my Conscience
The dear Lady was then as earnest for the operation as before she had been averse to it But she did and said everything in an hurry
The Marchioness and my friend were comforted in hopes that some relief would follow it The doctors were invited in
Do you stand by me Sir said she to me—Come make haste But it shant be the same arm—Camilla see I can bare my own arm—It will bleed at this arm I warrant—I will bid it flow—Come make haste—Are you always so tedious—The preparation in all these things I believe is worse than the act—Pray pray make haste
They did tho she thought they did not
Turn your face another way madam said the doctor
Now methinks I am Iphigenia Chevalier going
to be offered—looking at me and from the doctors
And is this all—The puncture being made and she bleeding freely
The doctors were not satisfied with a small quantity She fainted however before they had taken quite so much as they intended and her women carried her out of her brothers apartment into her own in the chair she sat in
Dear Clementina—My compassion and my best wishes followed her
You see your power over the dear girl Grandison said her brother
The Marchioness sighed and looking at me with kind and earnest meaning withdrew to attend her daughters recovery
REceive my Lucy the doctors sixth Letter The fifth has almost broken the hearts of us all
Dr Bartletts sixth Letter
A Scene of another nature took place of this proceeds Mr Grandison
Camilla stept in and said The General was come and was at that moment lamenting with the Marchioness the disordered state of mind of his beloved sister who had again fainted away but was quiet when Camilla came in
The General will be here presently said Jeronymo Do you choose to see him
As perhaps he has been told I am here it would look too particular to depart instantly If he comes not in soon I will take my leave of you
I had hardly done speaking when the General entered drying his eyes
Your servant Mr Grandison said he Brother
How do you Not the better I dare say for the present affliction Who the devil would have thought the girl had been so deeply affected—Well Sir you have a glorious triumph—Clementinas heart is not a vulgar one Her family—
My Lord I hope I do not deserve this address—Triumph my Lord—Not a heart in this family can be more distressed than mine
And is religion is conscience really of such force Chevalier
Let me ask that question my Lord of your own heart Let me ask it of your brother the Bishop of the other principles of your noble family And the answer given will be an answer for me
He seemed displeased Explain yourself Chevalier
If my Lord said I you think there is so great so essential a difference in the two religions that you cannot consent that I should keep my own What must I be who think as highly of my own as you can of yours to give it up tho on the highest temporal consideration Make the case your own my Lord
I can And were I in your situation such a woman as my sister such a family as ours such a splendid fortune as she will have I believe I should not make the scruples you do My brother the Bishop indeed might not have given the same answer He might be more tenacious
The Bishop cannot be better satisfied with his religion than I am with mine But I hope my Lord from what you have said that I may claim the honour of your friendship in this great article It is proposed to me that I renounce my religion I make no such proposal to your family On the contrary I consent that Lady Clementina should keep hers and I am ready to allow a very handsome provision for a discreet man her confessor to attend her in order to secure her in it As to residence I will consent to reside
one year in Italy one in England and even if she choose not to go to England at all I will acquiesce and visit England myself but for three months in every year
As to the children Mr Grandison said Signor Jeronymo desirous of promoting the compromise
I will consent that daughters shall be the mothers care the education of sons must be left to me
What will the poor daughters have done Chevalier sneeringly spoke the General that they should be left to perdition
Your Lordship without my entering into the opinion of the professors of both religions on this subject will consider my proposal as a compromise I would not have began an address upon these terms with a princess I do assure you that mere fortune has no bias with me Prescribe not to me in the article of religion and I will with all my soul give up every ducat of your sisters fortune
Then what will you have to support—
My Lord leave that to your sister and me I will deal honourably with her If she renounce me on that article you will have reason to congratulate yourselves
Your fortune Sir by marriage will be much more considerable than it can be by patrimony if Clementina be yours Why then should you not look forward to your posterity as Italians And in that case—
He stopt there—It was easy to guess at his inference
I would no more renounce my Country than my Religion I would leave posterity free but would not deprive them of an attachment that I value myself upon Nor yet my country of a family that never gave it cause to be ashamed of it
The General took snuff and looked on me and off me with an air too supercilious I could not but be sensible of it
I have no small difficulty my Lord said I to bear
the hardships of my situation added to the distress which that situation gives me to be looked upon in this family as a delinquent without having done anything to reproach myself with either in thought word or deed—My Lord it is extremely hard
It is my Lord said Signor Jeronymo The great misfortune in the case before us is that the Chevalier Grandison has merit superior to that of most men and that our sister who was not to be attached by common merit could not be insensible to his
Whatever were my sisters attachments Signor Jeronymo we know yours and generous ones they are But we all know how handsome men may attach young Ladies without needing to say a single word The poison once taken in at the eye it will soon diffuse itself through the whole mass
My honour yet my Lord was never called in question either by man or woman
Your character is well known Chevalier—Had it not been unexceptionable we should not have entered into treaty with you on this subject I do assure you and it piques us not a little to have a daughter of our house refused You dont know the consequence I can tell you of such an indignity offered in this country
Refused my Lord—To endeavour to obviate this charge would be to put an affront upon your Lordships justice as well as an indignity offered to your truly noble house
He arose in anger and swore that he would not be treated with contempt
I stood up too And if I am my Lord with indiguity it is not what I have been used to bear
Signor Jeronymo was disturbed He said He was against our seeing each other He knew his brothers warmth and I he said from the scenes that had before passed ought perhaps to have shewn more pity than resentment
It was owing to my regard for the delicacy of you sister Signor Jeronymo said I for whom I have the tenderest sentiments as well as to do Justice to my own conduct towards her that I could not help showing myself affected by the word refused
Affected by the word refused Sir said the General—Yes you have soft words for hard meanings But I who have not your choice of words make use of those that are explained by actions
I was in hopes my Lord that I might rather have been favoured with your weight in the proposed compromise than to have met with your displeasure
Consider Chevalier coolly consider this matter How shall we answer it to our country We are public people Sir to the church to which we stand related to our own character to marry a daughter of our house to a Protestant You say you are concerned for her honour What must we what can we say in her behalf when she is reflected upon as a Lovesick girl who tho stedfast in her religion could refuse men of the first consideration all of her own religion and country and let a foreigner an Englishman carry her off—
Preserving nevertheless by stipulation you will remember my Lord her religion—If you shall have so much to answer for to the world with such a stipulation in the Ladys favour What shall I be thought of who tho I am not nor wish to be a public man am not of a low or inconsiderable family if I against my conscience renounce my religion and my country for a consideration that tho the highest in private life is a partial and selfish consideration
No more no more Sir—If you can despise worldly grandeur if you can set light by Riches Honours Love my sister has this to be said in her praise that she is the first woman that ever I heard of who f•ll in love with a philosopher And she must I think take the consequence of such a peculiarity Her example will not have many followers
Yes my Lord it will said Jeronymo if Mr Grandison be the philosopher If women were to be regimented he would carry an army into the field without beat of drum
I was vexed to find an affair that had penetrated my heart go off so lightly but the levity shewn by the General was followed by Jeronymo in order to make the past warmth between us forgotten
I left the brothers together As I passed through the salon I had the pleasure of hearing by a whisper from Camilla that her young Lady was somewhat more composed for the operation she had yielded to
In the afternoon the General made me a visit at my lodgings He told me he had taken amiss some things that had fallen from my mouth
I owned that I was at one time warm but excused myself by his example
I urged him to promote my interest as to the proposed compromise He gave me no encouragement but took down my proposals in writing
He asked me If my father were as tenacious in the article of religion as I was
I told him That I had forborn to write any-thing of the affair to my father
That he said was surprising He had always apprehended that a man who pretended to be strict in religion be it what religion it would should be uniform He who could dispense with one duty might with another
I answered That having no view to address Lady Clementina I had only given my father general accounts of the favour I had met with from a family so considerable That it was but very lately that I had entertained any hopes at all as he must know That those hopes were allayed by my fears that the articles of religion and residence would be an insuperable obstacle But that it was my resolution in the same hour that I could have any prospect of succeeding to
lay all before him and I was sure of his approbation and consent to an alliance so answerable to the magnisicence of his own spirit
The General at parting with an haughty air said I take my leave Chevalier I suppose you will not be in haste to leave Bologna I am extremely sensible of the indignity you have cast upon us all I am and swore—We shall not disgrace our sister and ourselves by courting your acceptance of her I understand that Olivia is in Love with you too These contentions for you may give you consequence with yourself But Olivia is not a Clementina You are in a country jealous of familyhonour Ours is a first family in it You know not what you have done Sir
What you have said my Lord I have not deserved of you It cannot be answered at least by me I shall not leave Bologna till I apprize you of it and till I have the misfortune to be assured that I cannot have any hope of the honour once designed me I will only add That my principles were well known before I was written to at Vienna
And do you reproach us with that step It was a base one It had not my concurrence He went from me in a passion
I had enough at my heart Dr Bartlett had I been spared this insult from a brother of Clementina It went very hard with me to be threatened But I thank God I do not deserve the treatment
London Friday Morning Mar 31
HERE my Lucy once more I am We arrived yesterday in the afternoon
Lady Betty Williams and Miss Clements have been already to welcome me on my return My cousin
says they are inseparable I am glad of it for Lady Bettys sake
Dr Bartlett is extremely obliging One would think that he and his kinsman give up all their time in transcribing for us I send you now his seventh eight and ninth Letters In reading the two latter we were struck for the two sisters and my Lord were with us with the nobleness of Clementina Her motive thro her whole dilirium is so apparently owing to her concern for the Soul of the man she loved entirely regardless of any interest of her own that we all forgot what had been so long our wishes and joined in giving a preference to her
Dr Bartletts seventh Letter
I Had another visit paid me proceeds Mr Grandison two hours after the general left me by the kindhearted Camilla disguised as before
I come now Chevalier said she with the Marchionesss connivance and I may say by her command and at the same time by the command of Signor Jeronymo who knows of my last attendance upon you tho no one else does not even the Marchioness He gave me this Letter for you
But how does the noblest young Lady in Italy Camilla How does Lady Clementina
More composed than we could have hoped for from the height of her dilirum It was high for she has but a very faint idea of having seen you this morning
The Marchioness had bid her say that altho I had now given her despair instead of hope yet that she owed it to my merit and to the sense she had of the benefits they had actually received at my hands to let me know that it was but too likely that resentments might be carried to an unhappy length and that therefore she wished I would leave Bologna for the present If happier prospects presented she would be the first to congratulate me upon them
I opened the Letter of my kind Jeronymo These were the contents
I Am infinitely concerned my dear Grandison to find a man equally generous and brave as my brothor is hurried away by passion You may have acted with your usual magnaminity in preferring your Religion to your Love and to your Glory I for my part think you to be a distressed man If you are not you must be very insensible to the merits of an excellent woman and very ungrateful to the distinction she honours you with I must write in this stile and think she does honour by it even to my Grandison But should the consequences of this affair be unhappy for either of you if in particular for my brother What cause of regret would our family have that a younger brother was saved by the hand which deprived them of a more worthy elder If for you how deplorable would be the reflexion that you saved one brother and perished by the hand of another Would to God that his passion and your spirit were more moderate But let me request this favour of you That you retire to Florence for a few days at least
How unhappy am I that I am disabled from taking part in a more active mediation—Yet the General admires you But how can we blame in him a zeal for the honour of this family in which he would be glad at his soul to include a zeal for yours
For Gods sake quit Bologna for a few days only Clementina is more sedate I have carried it that her confessor shall not at present visit her yet he is an honest and a pious man
What a fatality Every one to mean well yet every one to be miserable and can Religion be the cause of so much unhappiness I cannot act I can only reflect My dear friend let me know by a line that you will depart from Bologna tomorrow
and you will then a little lighten the heart of your
JERONYMO
I sent my grateful compliments to the Marchioness by Camilla I besought her to believe that my conduct on this occasion should be such as should merit her approbation I expressed my grief for the apprehended resentments I was sure that a man so noble so generous so brave as was the man from whom the resentments might be supposed to arise would better consider of every thing But it was impossible for me I bid Camilla say to be far distant from Bologna because I still presumed to hope for a happy turn in my favour
I wrote to Signor Jeronymo to the same effect I assured him of my high regard for his gallant brother I deplored the occasion which had subjected me to the Generals displeasure bid him depend upon my moderation I referred to my known resolution of long standing to avoid a meditated rencounter with any man urging that he might for that reason the more securely rely upon my care to shun any acts of offence either to or from a son of the Marquis della Porretta a brother of my dear friend Jeronymo and of the most excellent and beloved of sisters
Neither the Marchioness nor Jeronymo were satisfied with the answers I returned But what could I do I had promised the General that I would not leave Bologna till I had apprized him of my intention to do so and I still was willing as I bid Camilla tell the Marchioness to indulge my hopes of some happy turn
The Marquis the Bishop and General went to Urbino and there as I learnt from my Jeronymo it was determined in full assembly that Grandison as well from difference in Religion as from inferiority in degree and fortune was unworthy of their alliance And it was
hinted to the General that he was equally unworthy of his resentment
While the father and two brothers were at Urbino Lady Clementina gave hopes of a sedate mind She desired her mother to allow her to see me But the Marchioness believing there were no hopes of my complying with their terms and being afraid of the consequences and of incurring blame from the rest of her family now especially that they were absent and consulting together on what was proper to be done desired she would not think of it
This refusal made Clementina the more earnest for an interview Signor Jeronymo gave his advice in favour of it The misfortune he had met with had added to his weight with the family It is a family of harmony and love They were hardly more particularly fond of Clementina than they were of one another, throughout the several branches of it This harmony among them added greatly to the familyconsequence as well in public as private Till the attempt that was made upon their Jeronymo they had not known calamity
But the confessor strengthening the Marchionesss apprehensions of what the consequence of indulging the young Lady might be all Jeronymos weight would have failed to carry this point had it not been for an enterprize of Clementina which extremely alarmed them and made them give into her wishes
Camilla has enabled me to give the following melancholy account of it to the only man on earth to whom I could communicate particulars the very recollection of which tears my heart in pieces
The young Ladys malady after some favourable symptoms which went off returned in another shape her talkativeness continued but the hurry with which she spoke and acted gave place to a sedateness that she seemed very fond of They did not suffer her to go
out of her chamber which she took not well But Camilla being absent about an hour on her return missed her and alarmed the whole house upon it Every part of it and of the garden was searched From an apprehension that they dared not so much as whisper to one another, they dreaded to find her whom they so carefully sought after
At last Camilla seeing as she supposed one of the maidservants coming downstairs with remarkable tranquillity as she thought in her air and manner Wretch said she how composed do you seem to be in a storm that agitates everybody else
Dont be angry with me Camilla returned the supposed servant
O my Lady my very Lady Clementina in Lauras cloaths Whither are you going madam—But let the Marchioness know said she to one of the womenservants who then appeared in sight that we have found my young Lady—What dear madam is the meaning of this—Go Martina to another womanservant go this instant to my Lady—Dear Lady Clementina what concern have you given us
And thus she went on asking questions of her young Lady and giving orders almost in the same breath till the Marchioness came to them in a joyful hurry from one of the pavilions in the garden into which she had thrown herself tortured by her fears and dreading the approach of every servant with fatal tidings
The young Lady stood still but with great composure I will go Camilla said she indeed I will You disturb me by your frantic ways Camilla I wish you would be as sedate and calm as I am Whats the matter with the woman
Her mother folding her arms about her—O my sweet girl said she How could you terrify us thus Whats the meaning of this disguise Whither were you going
Why madam I was going on Gods errand not on my own—What is come to Camilla The poor creature is beside herself
O my dear said her mother taking her hand and leading her into her own apartment Camilla following weeping with joy for having found her Tell me said she tell me has Laura furnished you with this dress
Why no madam Ill tell you the whole truth I went and hid myself in Lauras room while she changed her cloaths I saw where she put those she took off and when she had left her room I put them on
And for what For what my dear Tell me what you designed
I am neither afraid nor ashamed to tell It was Gods errand I was going upon
What was the errand
Dont weep them my dear mamma and Ill tell you Do let me kiss away these tears—And she tenderly embraced her mother
Why I have a great mind to talk to the Chevalier Grandison I had many fine thoughts upon my pillow and I believed I could say a great deal to the purpose to him and you told me I must not see him So I thought I would not But then I had other notions came into my head and I believed if I could talk freely to him I should convince him of his errors Now thought I I know he will mind what I say to him more than perhaps he will my brother the Bishop or Father Marescotti I am a simple girl and can have no interest in his conversion for he has refused me you know So there is an end of all matters between him and me I never was refused before Was I my mamma I never will be twice refused Yet I owe him no illwill And if one can save a soul you know madam there is no harm in that So it is Gods errand I go upon and not my
own And shall I not go Yes I shall I know you will give me leave—She courtesied Silence is permission Thank you madam—And seemed to be going
Well might her mother be silent She could not speak but rising went after her to the door and taking her hand sobbed over it her denial as Camilla described it and brought her back and motioned to her to sit down—
She whispered Camilla What ails my mamma Can you tell—But see how calm how composed I am This world Camilla what a vain thing is this world and she looked up And so I shall tell the Chevalier I shall tell him not to refuse heaven tho he has refused a simple girl that was no enemy to him and might have been a faithful guide to him thither for what he knew Now all these things I wanted to say to him and a vast deal more and when I have told him my mind I shall be easy
Will my precious girl be easy broke out into speech her weeping mother when you have told the Chevalier your mind You shall tell him your mind my dear and God restore my child to peace and to me
Well now my mamma this is a good sign—For if I have moved you to oblige me Why may I not move him to oblige himself—Thats all I have in view He has been my tutor and I want methinks to return the favour and be his tutress and so you will let me go—Wont you
No my dear we will send for him
Well that may do as well provided you will let us be alone together For these proud men may be ashamed before company to own themselves convinced by a simple girl
But my dearest Love Whither would you have gone Do you know where the Chevaliers lodgings are
She paused—She does not surely Camilla
Camilla repeated the question that the young Lady might herself answer it
She looked as if considering—Then Why no truly said she I did not think of that But everybody in Bologna knows where the Chevalier Grandison lives—Dont you think so—But when shall he come That will be better much better
You shall go Camilla disguised as before Probably he has not quitted Bologna yet And let him know to a tittle all that has passed on this attempt of the dear soul—If he can bring his mind to comply with our terms it may not yet be too late Tho it will be so after my Lord and my two sons return from Urbino But small are my hopes from him If the interview makes my poor child easy that will be a blessed event We shall all rejoice in that Mean time come with me my dear—But first resume your own dress—And then we will tell Jeronymo what we have determined upon He will be pleased with it I know
You tell me my good Miss Byron that I cannot be two particular yet the melancholy tale I see affects you too sersibly As it also does my Lord and Lady L and Miss Grandison No wonder when the transcribing of them has the same effect upon me as the▪reading had at my first being favoured with the Letters that give the moving particulars
Dr Bartletts eighth Letter
I Proceed now to give an account of Mr Grandisons interview with Lady Clementina
He had no sooner heard the preceding particulars than he hastened to her tho with a tortured heart
He was introduced to▪ the Marchioness and Signor Jeronymo in the apartment of the latter
I suppose said the Marchioness after first civilities
Camilla has told you the way we are now in The dear creature has a great desire to talk with you Who knows but she may he easier after she has been humoured—She is more composed than she was since she knows she may expect to see you Poor thing she has hopes of converting you
Would to heaven said Jeronymo that compassion for her disordered mind may have that effect upon my Grandison which argument has not had—Poor Grandison I can pity you at my heart These are hard trials to your humanity Your destress is written in your countenance
It is deeper written in my heart said I
Indeed Dr Bartlett it was
The Marchioness rang Camilla came in See said she if Clementina is disposed now to admit of the Chevaliers visit and ask her If she will have her mamma introduce him to her
By all means was the answer returned
Clementina at our entrance was sitting at the window a book in her hand She stood up A great but solemn composure appeared in her air and aspect
The Marchioness went to the window holding her handkerchief at her eyes I approached with profound respect her Clementina but my heart was too full to speak first—She could speak She did without hesitation—
You are nothing to me now Chevalier You have refused me you know and I thank you You are in the right I believe I am a very proud creature And you saw what trouble I gave to the best of parents and friends You are certainly in the right She that can give so much concern to them must make any man afraid of her But Religion it seems is your pretence Now I am sorry that you are an obstinate m•n You know better Chevalier I think you should know better But you have been my tutor Shall I be yours
I shall attend to every instruction that you will honour me with
But let me Sir comfort my mamma
She went to her and kneeled Why weeps my mamma taking a hand in each of hers and kissing first one then the other Be comforted my mamma You see I am quite well You see I am sedate—Bless your Clementina
God bless my child
She arose from her knees and stepping towards me—You are very silent Sir and very sad—But I dont want you to be sad—Silent I will allow you to be because the tutored should be all ear So I used to be to you
She then turned her face from me putting her hand to her forehead—I had a great deal to say to you but I have forgot it all—Why do you look so melancholy Chevalier You know your own mind and you did what you thought just and fit—Did you not Tell me Sir
Then turning to her weeping mother—The poor Chevalier cannot speak madam—Yet had nobody to bid him do this or bid him do that—He is sorry to be sure—Well but Sir turning to me Dont be sorry—And yet the man who once refused me—Ah Chevalier I thought that was very cruel of you But I soon got over it You see how sedate I am now Cannot you be as sedate as I am
What could I say I could not sooth her she boasted of her sedateness I could not argue with her Could I have been hers could my compromise have been allowed of I could have been unreserved in my declarations Was ever man so unhappily circumstanced—Why did not the family forbid me to come near them Why did not my Jeronymo renounce friendship with me Why did this excellent mother bind me to her by the sweet ties of kindness and esteem engaging all my reverence and gratitude
But let me ask you Chevalier How could you be so unreasonable as to expect that I should change my religion when you were so very tenacious of yours Were you not very unreasonable to expect this—Upon my word I believe you men think it is no matter for us women to have any consciences so as we do but study your wills and do our duty by you Men look upon themselves as gods of the earth and on us women but as their ministring servants—But I did not expect that you would be so unreasonable You used to speak highly of our Sex Good women You used to say were angels And many a time have you made me proud that I was a woman How could you Chevalier be so unreasonable
May I madam to her mother acquaint her with the proposals I made—She seems to think that I insisted upon her change of religion
It was not designed she should think so But I remember now that she would not let me tell all I had to say when I was making my report to her of what had passed between the Bishop and you It was enough she said that she had been refused she besought me to spare the rest And since that she has not been in such a way that we could talk to her on that part of the subject We took it for granted that she knew it all because we did Could we have yielded to your proposals we should have enforced them upon her—If you acquaint her with what you had proposed it may make her think she has not been dispised as she calls it the notion of which changed her temper from overthoughtful to overlively
No need of speaking low to each other said the young Lady After your slight Sir you may let me hear any-thing. —Madam you see how sedate I am I have quite overcome myself Dont be afraid of saying any-thing before me
Slight my dearest Lady Clementina Heaven is my witness your honoured mamma is my witness
that I have not slighted you—The conditions I had proposed could they have been complied with would have made me the happiest of men
Yes and me the unhappiest of women Why you refused me did you not And putting both her hands spread before her face Dont let it be told abroad that a daughter of that best of mothers was refused by any man less than a Prince—Fie upon that daughter To be able to stand before the proud refuser She walked from me I am ashamed of myself—O Mrs Beaumont But for you —My secret had been buried here putting one hand on her bosom holding still the other before her face—But Sir Sir coming towards me dont speak Let me have all my talk out—And then—everlasting silence be my portion
How her mother wept How was I affected
I had a great deal to say to you I thought I wanted to convince you of your errors I wanted no favour of you Sir Mine was a pure disinterested esteem A voice from heaven I thought bid me convert you I was setting out to convert you I should have been enabled to do it I doubt not Out of the mouth of babes and sucklings Do you remember that text Sir—Could I have gone when I would have gone—I had it all in my head then—But now I have lost it—O that impertinent Camilla—She must question me—The woman addressed me in a quite frantic way She was vexed to see me so sedate
I was going to speak—Hush hush when I bid you and she put her hand before my mouth With both my hands I held it there for a moment and kissed it
Ah Chevalier said she not withdrawing it I believe you are a flattering man How can you to a poor despised girl—
Let me now speak madam—Use not a word that I cannot repeat after you Let me beg of you to hear the proposals I made—
I mentioned them and added Heaven only knows the anguish of my soul—Hush said she interrupting and turning to her mother—I know nothing of these men madam Do you think my mamma I may believe him—He looks as if one might—Do you think I may believe him
Her mother was silent through grief
Ah Sir My mamma tho she is not your enemy cannot vouch for you—But I will have you bound by your own hand She stept to her closet in a hurry and brought out pen ink and paper—Come Sir you must not play tricks with me Give me under your hand what you have now said—But I will write it and you shall sign it
She wrote in an instant as follows
The Chevalier Grandison solemnly declares That he did in the most earnest manner of his own accord propose that he would allow a certain young creature if she might be allowed to be his wife the free use of her religion and to have a discreet man at her choice for her confessor And that he would never oblige her to go to England with him And that he would live in Italy with her every other year
Will you sign this Sir—Most willingly—Do then—I did
And you did propose this—Did he madam
My dear he did And I would have told you so but that you were affected at his supposed refusal
Why to be sure madam interrupted she it was a shocking thing to be refused
Would you have wished us my dear to comply with these terms Would you have chosen to marry a Protestant A daughter of the house of Porretta and of the house I sprung from to marry an English Protestant
Clementina took her mother aside but spoke loud enough to be heard
To be sure madam that would have been wrong But I am glad I was not refused with contempt That my tutor and the preserver of my Jeronymo did not despise me To say truth I was afraid he liked Olivia and so made a pretence
Dont you think my dear that you would have run too great a hazard of your own saith had you complied with the Chevaliers proposals
Why no surely madam—Might I not have had as great a chance of converting him as he could have had of perverting me I glory in my Religion madam
So does he my love in his
That is his fault madam Chevalier stepping towards me I think you a very obstinate man I hope you have not heard our discourse
Yes my dear he has And I desire not but he should
Would to God madam said I to the Marchioness that I had yours and my Lords interest From what the dear Lady Clementina has hinted I might presume—
But Sir you are mistaken perhaps said the young Lady Tho I answer for answerings sake and to shew that I have no doubt of my stedfastness in an article in which my soul is concerned yet that is no proof of my attachment to an obstinate—I know what—Heretic was no doubt in her head
I took her mother aside For Gods sake madam encourage my presumptuous hopes Do you not observe already an alteration in the dear Ladys mind Is she not more unaffectedly sedate than she was before Is not her mind quieter now she knows that every thing was yielded up that honour and conscience would permit to be yielded up See that sweet serenity almost restored to those eyes that within these few moments had a wilder turn
Ah Chevalier this depends not on me And if it
did I cannot allow of my daughters marrying a man so bigotted to his errors Excuse me Sir But if you were more indifferent in your religion I should have more hopes of you and less objection
If madam I could be indifferent in my religion the temptation would have been too great to be resisted Lady Clementina and an alliance with such a family—
Ah Chevalier I can give you no hope
Look at the sweet Lady madam Behold her as now perhaps balancing in my favour Think of what she was the joy of every heart and what she may be Which whatever becomes of me Heaven avert—And shall not the noble Clementina have her mother for her advocate God is my witness that your Clementinas happiness is more than my own the object of my vows Once more for your Clementinas sake What alas is my sake to that on my knee let me request your interest That joined to my Jeronymos and if the dear Lady recede not if she blast not these budding hopes will I doubt not succeed
The young Lady ran to me and offering to help me up with both her hands Rise Chevalier Shall I raise the Chevalier madam—I dont love to see him kneel Poor Chevalier—See his tears—What is the matter with everybody Why do you weep—My mamma weeps too—What ails everybody
Rise Chevalier said the Marchioness O this sweet prattler She will burst my heart asunder—You cannot Sir prevail I cannot wish that you should but upon our own terms And will not this sweet soul move you—Hardhearted Grandison
What a fate is mine rising With a soul penetrated by the disorder of this most excellent of women and by the distress given by it to a family every single person of which I both love and reverence to be called hardhearted What is it I desire▪
but that I may not renounce a religion in which my conscience is satisfied and be obliged to embrace for it one that tho I can love and honour every worthy member of it I have scruples more than scruples about that my heart can justify and my reason defend You have not madam yourself with a heart all mother and friend a deeper affliction than mine
Clementina all this time looked with great earnestness now on me now on her weeping mother—And at last breaking silence Her mother could not speak and taking her hand and kissing it I dont said she comprehend the reason of all this This house is not the house it was Who but I is the same person in it My father is not the s•me My brothers neither My mamma never has a dry eye I think But I dont weep I am to be the comforter of you all And I will —Dont weep Why now you weep the more for my comfortings—O my mamma What would you say to your girl if she refused comfort Then kneeling down and kissing her hand with eagerness I beseech you my dear mamma I beseech you be comforted or lend me some of your tears—What ails me that I cannot weep for you—But turning to me See the Chevalier weeps too—Then rising and coming to me her hand pressing my arm—Dont weep Chevalier my tutor my friend my brothers preserver What ails you—Be comforted—Then taking her handkerchief out of her pocket with one hand still pressing my arm with the other and putting it to her eyes and looking upon it—No—I thought I could have wept for you—But why is all this—You see what an example I a silly girl can set you—Affecting a still sedater countenance
O Chevalier said the weeping mother and do you say your heart is penetrated—Sweet creature wrapping her arms about her my own •••mentina would to Heaven it were given me to restore
my child—O Chevalier if complying with your terms would do it—But you are immoveable
How can that be said madam when I have made concessions that a princely family should not on a beginning address have brought me to make May I repeat before Lady Clementina—
What would he repeat to me interrupted she Do madam let him say all he has a mind to say If it will make his poor heart easy why let him say all he would say—Chevalier speak Can I be any comfort to you I would make you all happy if I could
This madam said I to her mother is too much Excellent young Lady—Who can bear such trans•endent goodness of heart shining through intellects so disturbed And think you madam that on earth there can be a man more unhappily circumstanced than I am
O my Clementian said her mother dear child of my heart And could you consent to be the wife of a man of a contrary religion to your own A man of another country You see Chevalier I will put your questions to her A man that is an enemy to the faith of his own ancestors as well as to your faith
Why no madam—I hope he does not expect that I would
May I presume madam to put the question in my own way—But yet I think it may distress the dear Lady and not answer the desirable end if I may not have hope of your interest in my favour and of the acquiescence of the Marquis and your sons with my proposals
They will never comply
Let me then be made to appear insolent unreasonable and even ungrateful in the eyes of your Clementina if her mind can be made the easier by such a representation If I have no hopes of your favour madam I must indeed despair
Had I any hope of carrying your cause I know not what might be done But I must not separate myself from my family in this great article—My dear to Clementina you said you should be easier in your mind if you were to talk to the Chevalier alone This is the only time you can have for it Your father and brothers will be here tomorrow—And then Chevalier all will be over
Why madam I did think I had a great deal to say to him And as I thought I had no interest in what I had to say—
Would you wish my dear to be left alone with the Chevalier Can you recollect any thing that you had intended to say to him had you made him the visit you had designed to make him
I dont know
Then I will withdraw Shall I my dear
Ought I Sir You have been my tutor and many excellent lessons have you taught me—tho I dont know what is become of them—Ought I to wish my mamma to withdraw Ought I to have any-thing to say to you that I could not say before her—I think not
The Marchioness was retiring I beg of you madam said I to slip unobserved into that closet You must hear all that passes The occasion may be critical Let me have the opportunity of being either approved or censured as I shall appear to deserve in the conversation that may pass between the dear Lady and me if you do withdraw
O Chevalier you are equally prudent and generous Why wont you be one of us Why wont you be a Catholic
She went out at the door Clementina courtesied to her I led her eye from the door and the Marchioness reentered and slipt into the closet
I conducted the young Lady to a chair which I placed with its back to the closetdoor that her mother
might hear all that passed—She sat down and bid me sit by her
I was wiling she should lead the subject that the Marchioness might observe I intended not to prepossess her
We were silent for a few moments She seemed perplexed looked up looked down then on one side then on the other—At last O Chevalier said she they were happy times when I was your pupil and you were teaching me English
They were indeed happy times madam
Mrs Beaumont was too hard for me Chevalier—Do you know Mrs Beaumont
I do She is one of the best of women
Why so I think But she turned and winded me about most strangely I think I was in a great fault
How so madam—How so Why to let her get out of me a secret that I had kept from my mother And yet there never was a more indulgent mother—Now you look Chevalier But I shant tell you what the secret was
I do not ask you madam
If you did I would not tell you—Well but I had a great deal to say to you I thought I wish that frantic Camilla had not stopt me when I was going to you I had a great deal to say to you
Cannot you recollect madam any part of it
Let me consider—Why in the first place I thought you despised me I was not sorry for that I do assure you That did me good At first it vexed me—You cant think how much I have a great deal of pride Sir—But well I got over that and I grew sedate—You see how sedate I am Yet this poor man thought I whether he thinks so or not I will tell you all my thoughts Sir But dont be grieved—You see how sedate I am Yet I am a silly girl you are thought to be a wise man Dont disgrace your wisdom Fie a wise man to be weaker than a simple girl—Dont let it be said—What was I saying
Yet this poor man whether he thinks so or not you said madam
True—has a Soul to be saved He has taken great pains with me to teach me the language of England Shall I not take some with him to teach him the language of Heaven—No heretic can learn that Sir—And I had collected abundance of fine thoughts in my mind and many pertinent things from the Fathers and they were all in my head—But that impertinent Camilla—And so they are all gone—But this one thing I have to say—I designed to say something like it at the conclusion of my discourse with you—So it is premeditated you will say and so it is But let me whisper it—No I wont neither—But t•rn your face another way—I find my blushes come already—But and she put her spread hand before her face as if to hide her blushes Dont look at me I tell you—Look at the window I did Why Chevalier I did intend to say—But stay—I have wrote it down somewhere She pulled out her pocketbook Here it is Look another way when I bid you—She read—
Let me beseech you Sir I was very earnest you see to hate to despise to detest Now dont look this way the unhappy Clementina with all my heart but for the sake of your immortal Soul let me conjure you to be reconciled to our Holy Mother Church—
Will you Sir—following my indeed averted face with her sweet face for I could not look towards her Say you will I heard you once called an Angel of a man And is it not better to be an Angel in Heaven—Tenderhearted man I always thought you had sensibility—Say you will—Not for my sake—I told you that I would content myself to be still despised It shall not be said that you did this for a wife—No Sir your conscience shall have all the merit of it—And Ill tell you what I will lay me down in peace—She stood up with a dignity that was augmented by her
piety And I will say
Now do thou O beckoning Angel for an Angel will be on the other side of the river—The river shall be death Sir—Now do thou reach out thy Divine hand O Minister of Peace I will wade through these separating waters and I will bespeak a place for the man who many many years hence may fill it—And I will sit next you for ever and ever
—And this Sir shall satisfy the poor Clementina who will then be richer than the richest So you see Sir as I told my mother I was setting out on Gods errand not on my own
For hours might the dear Lady have talked on without interruption from me—My dear Dr Bartlett What did I not suffer
The Marchioness was too near for herself She could not bear this speech of her pious generous noble daughter She sobbed she groaned
Clementina started—She looked at me She looked round her Whence came these groans Did you groan Sir—You are not a hardhearted man tho they say you are But will you be a Catholic Sir Say you will I wont be denied And I will tell you what—If I dont resign to my destiny in a few a very few weeks why then I will go into a nunnery and then I shall be Gods child you know even in this life
What could I say to the dear Lady Her mind was raised above an earthly Love Circumstanced as we were how could I express the tenderness for her which overflowed my heart Compassion is a motive that a woman of spirit will reject And how could Love be here pleaded when the parties believed it to be in my own power to exert it Could I endeavour to replace myself in her affection when I refused to comply with their terms and they with mine To have argued against her religion and in defence of my own her mind so disturbed could not be done And ought I in generosity in justice to
her family to have attempted to unsettle her in a faith in which she and all her family were so well satisfied
I could only when I could speak applaud her piety and pronounce her an Angel of a woman an ornament of her sex and an honour to her religion and endeavour to wave the subject
Ah Chevalier said she after a silence of some minutes—You are an obstinate man Indeed you are—Yet I think you do not despise me—But what says your paper
She took it out of her bosom and read it She seemed affected by it as if she had not before considered it And you really proposed these terms Sir And would you have allowed me the full exercise of my religion And should I have had my confessor And would you have allowed me to convert you if I could And would you have treated my confessor kindly And would you have been dutiful to my papa and mamma And would you have loved my two other brothers as well as you do Jeronymo—And would you have let me live at Bologna You dont say Yes—But do you say No
To these terms madam most willingly would I have subscribed And if my dearest Lady they could have had the wishedfor effect how happy had I been
Well—She then paused and resuming What shall we say to all these things
I thought her mother would take it well to have an opportunity given her to quit the closet now her Clementina had changed her subject to one so concerning to the whole family I favoured her doing so She slipt out her face bathed in tears and soon after came in at the drawingroom door
Ah madam said Clementina paying obeisance to her I have been arguing and pleading with the Chevalier
Then speaking low I believe he may in time be convinced He has a tender heart But hush putting her finger to her mouth and then speaking louder I have been reading this paper again—
She was going on too favourably for me as it was evident the Marchioness apprehended the first time that I had reason to think she was disinclined to the alliance For she stopt her My Love said she you and I will talk of this matter by ourselves
She rang Camilla came in She made a motion for Camilla to attend her daughter and withdrew inviting me out with her
When we were in another room Ah Chevalier said she How was it possible that you could withstand such an heavenly pleader You cannot love her as she deserves to be loved You cannot but act nobly generously but indeed you are an invincible man
Not love her madam Your Ladyship adds distress to my very great distress—Am I in your opinion an ungrateful man—But must I lose your fayour your interest On that and on my dear Jeronymos did I build my hopes and all my hopes
I know your terms can never be accepted Chevalier And I have now no hopes of you After this last conversation between you and the dear girl I can have no hopes of you Poor soul She began to waver O how she loves you I see you are not to be united It is impossiple And I did not care to permit a daughter of mine •arther to expose herself as it must have been to no manner of purpose—You are concerned—I should pity you Sir if you had it not in your power to make yourself happy and us and ours too
Little did I expect such a turn in my disfavour from the Marchioness
May I mada• be permitted to take leave of the dear Lady •o whose piety and admirable heart I am so much indebted
I believe it may as well be deferred Chevalier
Deferred madam—The Marquis and the General come and my heart tells me that I may never be allowed to see her again
At this time it had better be deferred Sir
If it must I submit—God for ever bless you madam for all your goodness God restore to you your Clementina May you all be happy—Time may do much for me Time and my own not disapproving conscience may—But a more unhappy man never passed your gates
I took the liberty to kiss her hand and withdrew with great emotion
Camilla hastened after me Chevalier says she my Lady asks If you will not visit Signor Jeronymo
Blessings attend my evervalued friend I cannot see him I shall complain to him My heart will burst before him Commend me to that true friend Blessings attend every one of this excellent family Camilla obliging Camilla adieu
O Dr Bartlett—But the mother was right She was to account for her conduct in the absence of her Lord She knew the determination of the family and her Clementina was on the point of shewing more favour to me than as things were circumstanced it was proper she should shew me Yet they hand found out that Clementina in the way she was in was not easily diverted from any thing she took strongly into her head and they never had accustomed her to contradiction
Well Lucy now you have read this Letter do you not own that this man and this woman can only deserve each other—Your Harriet my dear is not worthy to be the handmaid of either This is not an affectation of humility You will be all of the same opinion I am sure And this Letter will
convince you that more than his Compassion that his Love for Clementina was engaged And so it ought And what is the inference but this—That your Harriet were this great difficulty to be vincible could pretend to hope but for half a heart There cannot be that fervor my dear in a second Love that was in a first Do you think there can
Dr Bartletts ninth Letter
THE young Lady proceeds Mr Grandison after I had left her went to her brother Jeronymo There I should have found her and I as her mother motioned by Camilla visited my friend But when I found he was likely to stand alone in his favour to me when the Marchioness had so unexpectedly declared herself against the compromise I was afraid of disturbing his worthy heart by the grief which at the instant overwhelmed mine
The following particulars Jeronymo sent me within three hours after I left their palace
His sister making Camilla retire shewed him the paper which she had written and made me sign and asked him what he knew of the contents
He knew not what had passed between his mother and me nor did Clementina
He told her that I had actually made those proposals He assured her that I loved her above all women He acquainted her with my mistress
She pitied me She thought she said that I had not made any overtures any concessions that I despised her and sensibly asked Why the Chevalier was sent for from Vienna We all knew his mind as to religion said she
Then after a pause He never could have perverted me proceeded she He would have allowed me a confestor would he not
He would answered Jeronymo—And he would have left me among my friends in Italy—He would
replied he—Well brother and I should have been glad perhaps to have seen England once and he would perhaps have brought over his sisters and his father to visit us And he praises them highly you know And if I were their sister I could have gone over with them you know Do you think if I had loved them they would not have loved me I am not an illnatured creature you know and they must be courteous Are they not his sisters And dont you think his father would love me I should have brought no dishonour into his family you know —Well but Ill tell you what Jeronymo He is really a tenderhearted man I talked to him of his Soul and upon my honour I believe I could have prevailed in time Father Marescotti is a severe man you know and he has been always so much consulted and dont love the Chevalier I believe So that I fancy if I were to have a venerable sweettempered man for my confessor between my Love and my confessors Prudence we should gain a Soul—Dont you think so Jeronymo—And that should cover a great many sins And all his family might be converted too you know
He encouraged her in this way of thinking She believed she said that I was not yet gone He is so tenderhearted brother that is my dependence And you say he loves me Are you sure of that—But I have reason to think he does He shed tears as I talked to him more than once while my eyes were as dry as they are now I did not shed one tear Well Ill go to him and talk with him
She went to the door but came back on tiptoe and in a whispering accent—My mamma is coming Hush Jeronymo let Hush be the word—
The door opened—Here madam is your girl—But it is not my mamma The impertinent Camilla She follows me as my shadow
My Lady desires to see you Lady Clementina in her dressingroom
I obey But where is the Chevalier
Gone madam Gone some time
Ah brother said she and her countenance fell
What gone said Jeronymo without seeing me Unkind Grandison He did not use to be so unkind
This was the substance of the advices sent me by my friend Jeronymo
I acquainted him in return by pen and ink with all that had passed between the Marchioness and me that he might not by his friendship for me involve himself in difficulties
In the morning I had a visit from Camilla by her Ladys command with excuses for refusing to allow me to take leave of Clementina She hoped I was not displeased with her on that account It was the effect of prudence and not disrespect She should ever regard me even in a tender manner as if the desired relation could have taken place Her Lord and his brother the Conte della Porretta as he is called with the General and the Bishop arrived the night before accompanied by the Counts eldest son Signor Sebastiano She had been much blamed for permitting the interview but regretted it the less as her beloved daughter was more composed than before and gave sedate answers to all the questions put to her But nevertheless she wished that I would retire from Bologna for Clementinas sake as well as for my own
Camilla added from Signor Jeronymo that he wished to hear from me from the Trentine or Venice And as from herself and in confidence that her young Lady was greatly concerned that I did not wait on her again before I went away That she fell into a silent fit upon it and that her mamma on her not answering to her questions for the first time chid her That this gave her great distress but produced what they had so much wished for a flood of
tears and that now she frequently wept and lamented to her What should she do Her mamma did not love her and her mamma talked against the Chevalier She wished to be allowed to see him Nobody now would love her but the Chevalier and Jeronymo It would be better for her to be in England or anywhere that to be in the sweetest country in the world and hated
Camilla told me that the Marquis the Count his brother and the General had indeed blamed the Marchioness for permitting the interview but were pleased that I was refused taking leave of the young Lady when she seemed disposed to dwell on the contents of the note she had made me sign They seemed now all of a mind she said That were I to comply with their terms the alliance would not by any means be a proper one Their rank their degree their alliances were dwelt upon I found that their advantages in all these respects were heightened my degree my consequence lowered in order to make the difference greater and the difficulties insuperable
Clementinas uncle and his eldest son both men of sense and honour who used to be high in her esteem had talked to her but could get nothing from her but No and Yes Her father had talked to her alone but they melted each other and nothing resulted of comfort to either Her mother joined him but she threw herself at her mothers feet besought her to forgive her and not to chide her again They had intended to discourage her from thinking of me upon any terms The General and the Bishop were to talk to her that morning They had expressed displeasure at Signor Jeronymo for his continued warmth in my favour Father Marescotti was now consulted as an oracle And I found that by an indelicacy of thinking he imagined that the husband would set all right and was for encouraging the Count of Belvedere and getting me at distance
Camilla obligingly offered to acquaint me from time to time with what occurred but I thought it was not right to accept of a servants intelligence out of the family she belonged to unless some one of it authorized her to give it me Yet you must believe I wanted not anxious curiosity on a subject so interesting I thanked her but said that it might if discovered lay her under inconveniencies which would grieve me for her sake She had the good sense to approve of my declining her offer
In the morning of the same day I had a visit made me which I little expected It was from Father Marescotti It is a common thing to load an enemy especially if he be in Holy Orders and comes to us in the guise of friendship with the charge of hypocrisy But partiality may be at the bottom of the accusation Father Marescotti is a zealous Roman Catholic I could not hope either for his interest or affection He could not but wish to frustrate my hopes As a man in earnest in his own principles and who knew how stedfast I was in mine it was his duty to oppose this alliance He is perhaps the honest man for knowing but little of human nature and of the tender passions As to that of Love he seemed to have drawn his conclusions from general observations He knew not how to allow for particular constitutions nor to account for the delicacy of such a heart as Clementinas He thought that Love was always a poor blind boy led in a string either by Folly or Fancy and that once the impetus got over and the Lady settled into the common offices of life she would domesticate herself and be as happy with a Count of Belvedere especially as he is a very worthy man as if she had married the man once most favoured On this presumption it was a condescension in such a man to come to me and to declare himself my friend and advise me what to do for promoting the peace of a family which I professed to venerate and
hear that his condescension was owing to a real greatness of mind
I was from the moment of his entrance very open very frank more so than he expected as he owned He told me that he was afraid I had conceived prejudices against him The kinder then in him I said that he condescended to make me so friendly a visit I assured him that I regarded him as a good man I had indeed sometimes thought him severe but that convinced me that he was very much in earnest in his religion I was sensible I said that we ought always to look to the intention To put ourselves in the situation of the persons of whose actions we presumed to judge and even to think well of austerities which had their foundation in virtue in whatever manner they affected us
He applauded me and said That I wanted so little to be a Catholic that it was a thousand pities I was not one And he was persuaded that I should one day be a proselyte
This Fathers business was to convince me of the unfitness of an alliance between families so very opposite in their religious sentiments He went into history upon it You may believe that the unhappy consequences which follow the marriage between our Charles I and the Princess Henrietta of France were not forgotten He expatiated upon them but I observed to him That the Monarch was the sufferer by the zeal of the Queen for her religion and not the Queen any otherwise than as she was involved in the consequences of those sufferings which she had brought upon him In short Father said I We Protestants some of us have zeal but let us alone and it is not a persecuting one Your doctrine of merits makes the zeal of your devotees altogether active and perhaps the more flaming in proportion as the person is more honest and worthy
I lamented that I was sent for from Vienna upon
hopes tho my principles were well known that otherwise I had never presumed to entertain
He owned that that was a wrong step and valued himself that he had not been consulted upon it And that when he knew it had been taken he inveighed against it
And I am afraid Father said I—
He interrupted me—Why I believe so—You have made such generous distinctions in favour of the duty of a man acting in my function that I must own I have not been an idle observer on this occasion
He advised me to quit Bologna He was profuse in his offers of service in any other affair and I dare say was in earnest
I told him That I chose not to leave it precipitately and as if I had done something blameworthy I had some hopes of being recalled to my fathers arms I should set out when I left Bologna directly for Paris to be in the way of such a longwished for call and then said I Adieu to travelling Adieu to Italy for ever I should have been happy had I never seen it but in the way for which I have been accustomed to censure the generality of my countrymen
His behaviour at parting was such as will make me for ever revere him and will enlarge a charity for all good men of his religion which yet before was not a narrow one For begging my excuse he kneeled down at the door of my antechamber and offered up in a very servent manner a prayer for my conversion He could not have given me any other way so high an opinion of him No not had he offered me his interest with Clementina and her family I embraced him as he did me Tears were in his eyes I thanked him for the favour of this visit and recommending myself to his frequent prayers told him That he might be assured of all the respectful services he should put it in my power to render
him I longed Dr Bartlett to make him a present worthy of his acceptance had I known what would have been acceptable and had I not been afraid of affronting him I accompanied him to the outward door I never said he saw a Protestant that I loved before Your mind is still more amiable than your person Lady Clementina I see might have been happy with you But it was not fit on our side He snatched my hand before I was aware and honoured it with his lips and hastened from me leaving me at a loss and looking after him and for him when he was out of sight my mind labouring as under a high sense of obligation to his goodness
Religion and Love Dr Bartlett which heighten our relish for the things of both worlds What pity is it that they should ever run the human heart either into enthusiasm or superstition and thereby debase the minds they are both so well fitted to exalt
I am equally surprised and affected by the contents of the following Letter directed to me It was put within the door nobody saw by whom The daughter of the Lady at whose house I lodge found it and gave it to one of my servants for me
DONT be surprised Chevalier dont think amiss of me for my forwardness I heard some words drop so did Camilla but she cant go out to tell you of them as if somebodys life was in danger This distracts me I am not treated as I was accustomed to be treated They dont love me now—They dont love their poor Clementina Very true Chevalier You who were always telling me how dearly they all loved me will hardly believe it I suppose Nothing now is said but You shall Clementina —from those who used to call me Sister and dear Sister at every word
They said I was well and quite well and ought to be treated with a high hand—I know from whom
they have that From myself I said so to Mrs Beaumont but she need not to have told them I wont go to her again for that They say I shall God help me I dont know where to go for a quiet mind A high hand wont do Chevalier I wish I knew what would I would tell it to them I once thought it would else I had not said it to Mrs Beaumont But let them go on with their high hand• with all my heart That heart will not hold always It had been gone before now had not Mrs Beaumont got out of me—Something—I wont tell you what—And then they sent for Somebody—And Somebody came—And what then—They need not threaten me so—Somebody is not so much to blame as they will have it he is And that Somebody did make proposals—Did you not Chevalier—I had like to have betrayed myself—I stopt just in time
But Chevalier Ill tell you a secret—Dont speak of it to anybody—May I depend upon you—I know I may Why Camilla tells me that the Count of Belvedere is to come again—Are you not sorry for your poor pupil But Ill tell you another secret—And that is what I intend to say to him—
Look you here my Lord you are a very good sort of a man and you have great estates You are very rich You are in short a very good sort of man but there is however a man in the world with whom I had rather live in the poorest hermitage in a wilderness than with you in the richest palace in the world
After this if he be not the creeping mean man you said he was not he will be answered—Everything you said to me in former happy times I rememher You always said things to me that were sit to be remembered Yet I dont tell you who my hermit is that I had rather live with Perhaps there is no such man But this you know will be a sufficient answer to the Count of Belvedere Dont you think so
Here I have been tormented again—Would you think it I have been pleading for somebody boldly confidently I said I could depend upon his honour Ah Chevalier Dont you think I might—I am to be locked up and I cant tell what—They wont let me see somebody—They wont let me see my poor Jeronymo—You and I and Jeronymo are all put together—I dont care as I tell Camilla I dont care They will quite harden me
But just now my mamma O she is the best of mothers—My mamma tells me She will not persuade me if I will be patient if I will be good My dear mamma as I told her I will be patient and good But dont let them inveigh against the Chevalier then What harm has he done—Was he not—Ah Sir now I blush—Was he not sent for—And did he not weep over me—Yet none of your bold men who look as proudly as if they were sure of your approbation—Well but what do you think my mamma said—Ah Clementina said she would to God the Chevalier for his own sake yes she said for his own sake and that made a great impression upon me it was so good you know of my mamma that the Chevalier was in England or a thousand miles off So Sir this is my advice—Pray take it for I and Camilla heard some words and Camilla as well as I is much troubled about them—Get away to England as soon as you can—Be sure do—And some months hence bring your two sisters over with you and by that time all our feuds will be over you know And you shall take a house and then I can go and visit your sisters you know and your sisters will visit us You will come sometimes with them Wont you Well and Ill tell you how we will pass part of our time They shall perfect me in my English I will perfect them in Italian They know as much of that I suppose at least as I do of English And we will visit every court and every city
So God bless you Sir and get away as soon as you can I put no name for fear this should miscarry and I should be found out—Ah Sir they are very severe with me Pity me But I know you will for you have a tender heart It is all for you
These last five words were intended to be scratched out and are but just legible
How the contents of this Letter afflict me Words cannot express what I feel I see evidently that they are taking wrong measures with the tenderest heart in the world a heart that never once has swerved from its duty and which is filled with reverence and love for all that boast a relation to it Harsh treatment and which is besides new to it is not the method to be taken with such a heart Shall I thought I when I had perused it ask for an audience of a mother so indulgent and give her my disinterested advice upon it Once I could have done so and even in confidence have shewn her this very Letter But now she is one with the angry part of her family and I dare not do it▪ for Clementinas sake Talk of locking her up Talk of bringing a Lover to her—Threatening her with going to Mrs Beaumont when they should court her to go thither Not suffer her to see her beloved Jeronymo—He in disgrace too—How hard how wrong is all this conduct I could have written to Jeronymo thought I and advised gentle measures were he not out of their con ultations—As to the threatened resentments they are as nothing to me Clementinas sufferings are everything My soul disdains the thought of fastening myself upon a proud family that now looks upon me in a mean light A proud heart undervalued will swell It will be put upon over valuing itself You know Dr Bartlett that I have a very proud heart But when I am trampled upon or despised then is it most proud I would call myself a Man to a Prince who
should unjustly hold me in contempt and let him know that I looked upon him to be no more My pride is raised Yet against whom Not Clementina She has all my pity She has seen and I have found that her unhappy delirium tho not caused by me I bless God for that has made me tender as a chidden infant And can I think of quitting Bologna and not see if it be possible for me to gratify myself and serve them in her restoration Setting quite out of the question the Generals causeless resentments and the engagement I have laid myself under not to leave it without apprizing him of my intention
Upon the whole I resolved to wait the issue of the new measures they have fallen upon The dear Lady has declared herself in my favour Such a frank declaration must soon be followed by important consequences
THE third day after the arrival of her father and brothers from Urbino I received the following Billet from the Marquis himself
Chevalier Grandison
WE are in the utmost distress We cannot take upon us to forbid your stay at Bologna but shall be obliged to you if you will enable us to acquaint our daughter that you are gone to England or some far distant part Wishing you happy I am Sir
Your most obedient humble servant
To this I wrote as follows
My Lord
I Am excessively grieved for your distress I make no hesitation to obey you But as I am not conscious of having in word or deed offended you or any one of a family to whom I owe infinite obligations
let me hope that I may be allowed a farewel visit to your Lordship to your Lady and to your three sons that my departure may not appear like that of a criminal instead of the parting that from the knowledge I have of my own heart as well as of your experienced goodness may be claimed by your Lordships
Ever obliged and affectionate humble Servant GRANDISON
This request I understood occasioned warm debates It was said to be a very bold one But my dear Jeronymo insisted that it was worthy of his Friend his Deliverer as he called me and of an innocent man
The result was that I should be invited in form to visit and take leave of the family And two days were taken that some others of the Urbino family might be present to see a man for the last time and some of them for the first who was thought by his request to have shewn a very extraordinary degree of intrepidity and who tho a Protestant was honoured with so great an interest in the heart of their Clementina
The day before I was to make this formal visit for such it was to be I received the following Letter from my friend Jeronymo
My dearest Grandison
TAKE the particulars of the situation we are in here that you may know what to expect▪ and how to act and comport yourself tomorrow evening
Your reception will be I am afraid cold but civil
You will be looked upon by the Urbino family who have heard more of you than they have seen as a curiosity but with more wonder than affection
Of them will be present the Count my fathers brother and his sons Sebastiano and Juliano my aunt Signora Juliana de Storza a widow Lady as you know and her daughter Signora Laurana a young woman of my sisters age between whom and my sister used to be as you have heard the strictest friendship and correspondence and who insisted on being present on this occasion They are all goodnatured people but love not either your country or religion
Father Marescotti will be present He is become your very great admirer
My father thinks to make you his compliments but if he withdraws the moment he has made them you must not be surprised
My mother says that as it is the last time that she may ever see you and as she really greatly respects you she shall not be able to leave you while you stay
The General I hope will behave with politeness
The Bishop loves you but will not however perhaps be in high good humour with you
Your Jeronymo will be wheeled into the same room If he be more silent than usual on the solemn occasion you will not do him injustice perhaps if you attribute it to his prudence but much more to his grief
And now let me tell you as briefly as I can the situation of the dear creature who must not appear but who is more interested in the occasion of the congress than any person who will be present at it
What passed between you and her at the last interview has greatly impressed her in your favour The Bishop the General and my Father soon after their return from Urbino made her a visit in her dressingroom They talked to her of the excellency of her own Religion and of the errors of the pretended Reformed which they called and I suppose are damnable They found her steady in her abhorrence of
the one and adherence to the other They were delighted with her rational answers and composed behaviour They all three retired in raptures to congratulate each other upon it and returned with pleasure to enter into farther talk with her But when they mentioned you to her she led by their affectionate behaviour to her on their return said It had given her great pleasure and ease of mind to find that she was not despised by a man whom every one of the family regarded for his merit and great qualities The General had hardly patience he walked to the farther end of the room My Father was in tears The Bishop soothed her in order to induce her to speak her whole mind
He praised you She seemed pleased He led her to believe that the whole family were willing to oblige her if she would declare herself and asked her questions the answers to which must either be an avowal or a denial of her Love and then she owned That she preferred the Chevalier Grandison to all the men in the world she would not against the opinion of her friends wish to be his but never would be the wife of any other man
What said the General tho he continue an Heretic
He might be converted she said And he was a sweettempered and compassionate man And a man of sense, as he was▪ must see his errors
Would she run the risque of her own salvation
She was sure she should never give up her faith
It was tempting God to abandon her to her own perverseness
Her reliance on his goodness to enable her to be stedfast was humble and not presumptuous and with a pious view to gain a proselyte and God would not forsake a person so well intending Was she not to be allowed her confessor Her confessor should be appointed by themselves She did not doubt but the Chevalier would consent to that
The Bishop you know can he cool when he pleases He bore to talk farther with her
My father was still in tears
The General had no farther patience He withdrew and came to me and vented on me his displeasure It is true Grandison when it was proposed to send for you from Vienna I sanguine in my hopes had expressed myself as void of all doubt but you would become a Catholic—Your love your compassion your honour as I thought engaged by such a step taken on our side—I had no notion that on such a surprize with such motives to urge your compliance a young man like myself and with a heart so sensible could have been so firm But these thoughts are all over—This however exposes me to the more reproaches
We were high and my mother and uncle came in to mediate between us
I would not I could not renounce my friend the friend of my soul as in our first acquaintance and the preserver of my life—Miserable as that has been the preserver of it at a time when I was engaged in an unlawful pursuit in which I had perished what might I have now been and where
I ventured to give my opinion in favour of my sisters marriage with you as the only method that could be taken to restore her who I said loved you because you were a virtuous man and that her Love was not only founded in virtue but was Virtue itself
My brother told me that I was as much beside myself with my notions of gratitude as my sister was with a passion less excusable
I bid him forbear wounding a wounded man
Thus high ran words between u•
The Bishop mean time went on with a true Church subtlety to get out of the innocent girl her whole mind
He boasted afterwards of his art But what was
there in it to boast of A mind so pure and so simple as Clementinas ever was and which only the pride of her Sex and motives of Religion had perhaps hindered her from declaring to all the world
He asked her If she was willing to leave her father mother brothers and country to go to a strange land to live among a hated People
No she said you would not wish her to go out of Italy You would live nine months out of twelve in Italy
He told her That she must when married do as her husband would have her
She could trust to your honour
Would she consent that her children should be trained up Heretics
She was silent to this question He repeated it
Well my Lord if I must not be allowed to choose for myself only let me not hear the Chevalier spoken of disrespectfully He does not deserve it He has acted by me with as much honour as he did by my brother He is an uniformly good man and as generous as good—And dont let me have other proposals made me and I will be contented I had never so much distinguished him if everybody had not as well as I
He was pleased to find her answers so rational He pronounced her quite well and gave it as his opinion that you should be desired to quit Bologna And your absence and a little time he was sure would secure her health of mind
But when her aunt Sforza and her cousin Laurana talked with her next morning they found her on putting questions about you absolutely determined in your favour
She answered the objections they made against you with equal warmth and clearness She seemed sensible of the unhappy way she had been in and would have it that the last interview she had with you had
helped to calm and restore her And she hoped that she should be better every day She praised your behaviour to her She expatiated upon and pitied your distress of mind
They let her run on till they too had obtained from her a confirmation of all that the Bishop had reported and upon repeating the conversation would have it upon experience that soothing such a passion was not the way to be taken but that a high hand was to be used and that she was to be shamed out of a Love so improper so irreligious so scandalous to be encouraged in a daughter of their house with an Heretic and who had shewn himself to be a determined one
They accordingly entered upon their new measures They forbad her to think of you They told her That she should not upon any terms be yours not now even if you would change your religion for her They depreciated your family your fortune and even your understanding and brought to prove what they said against the latter▪ your obstinate adherence to your mushroom religion so they called it a religion that was founded in the wickedness of your VIIIth Henry in the superstition of a child his successor and in the arts of a vile woman who had martyred a Sister Queen a better woman than herself They insisted upon her encouraging the Count of Belvederes addresses as a mark of her obedience
They condemned in terms wounding to her modesty her passion for a foreigner an enemy to her saith and on her earnest request to see her father he was prevailed upon to refuse her that favour
Lady Juliana Sforza and her daughter Laurana the companion of her better hours never see her but they inveigh against you as an artful an interested man
Her uncle treats her with authority Signor Sebastiano with a pity bordering on contempt
My mother shuns her and indeed avoids me But
as she has been blamed for permitting the interview which they suppose the wrongest step that could have been taken she declares herself neutral and resigns to whatever will be done by her Lord by his brother her two sons and Ludy Juliana de Sforza But I am sure in her heart that she approves not of the new measures and which also as I have reminded the Bishop so contrary to the advice of the worthy Mrs Beaumont to whom they began to think of once more sending my sister or of prevailing on her to come hither But Clementina seems not to be desirous of going again to her we know not why since she used to speak of her with the highest respect
The dear soul rusned in to me yesterday Ah my Jeronymo said she they will drive me into despair They hate me Jeronymo But I have written to Somebody—Hush for your life hush
She was immediately followed in by her aunt Sforza and her cousin Laurana and the General who however heard not what she said but insisted on her returning to her own apartment
What said she Must I not speak to Jeronymo Ah Jeronymo—I had a great deal to say to you
I raved but they hurried her out and have forbid her to visit me They however have had the civility to desire my excuse They are sure they say they are in the right way And if I will have patience with them for a week they will change their measures if they find their new ones ineffectual But my sister will be lost irrecoverably lost I foresee that
Ah Grandison And can you still—But now they will not accept of your change of religion Poor Clementina Unhappy Jeronymo Unhappy Grandison I will say If you are not so you cannot deserve the affection of a Clementina
But are you the Somebody to whom she has written Has she written to you Perhaps you will
find some opportunity to morrow to let me know whether she has or not Camilla is forbidden to stir out of the house or to write
The General told me just now that my gratitude to you shewed neither more or less then the high value I put upon my own life
I answered That his observation convinced me that he put a much less upon mine than I in the same case should have upon his
He reconciled himself to me by an endearment He embraced me Dont say convinced Jeronymo I love not myself better than I love my Jeronymo
What can one do with such a man He does love me
My mother as I said is resolved to be neutral But it seems she is always in tears
MY mother stept in just now—To my question after my sisters health Ah Jeronymo said she All is wrong The dear creature has been bad ever since yesterday They are all wrong—But patience and silence child You and I have nothing to answer for—Yet my Clementina said she—Oh and left me
I have not heart to write on You will see from the above the way we are in O my Grandison What will you do among us—I wish you would not come Yet what hope if you do not shall I ever have of seeing again my beloved friend who has behaved so unexceptionably in a case so critical
You must not think of the dear creature Her head is ruined For your own sake you must not We are all unworthy of you Yet not all All however but Clementina and if true friendship will justify my claim to another exception
Your afflicted JERONYMO
O My Lucy What think you—But it is easy to guess what you must think I will without saying one word more inclose
Dr Bartletts tenth Letter
THE next day proceeds my patron I went to make my visit to the family I had nothing to reproach myself with and therefore had no other concern upon me but what arose from the unhappiness of the noble Clementina That indeed was enough I thought I should have some difficulty to manage my own spirit if I were to find myself insulted especially by the General Soldiers are so apt to value themselves on their knowlege of what after all one may call but their trade that a private gentleman is often thought too slightly of by them Insolence in a great man a rich man or a soldier is a call upon a man of spirit to exert himself But I hope thought I I shall not have this call from any one of a family I so greatly respect
I was received by the Bishop who politely after I had paid my compliments to the Marquis and his Lady presented me to those of the Urbino family to whom I was a stranger Every one of those named by Signor Jeronymo in his last Letter was present
The Marquis after he had returned my compliment looked another way to hide his emetion The Marchioness put her handkerchief to her eyes and looked upon me with tenderness and I read in them her concern for her Clementina
I paid my respects to the General with an air of freedom yet of regard to my Jeronymo with the tenderness due to our friendship and congratulated
him on seeing him out of his chamber His kind eyes glistened with pleasure yet it was easy to read a mixture of pain in them which grew stronger as the first emotions at seeing me enter gave way to reflection
The Conte della Porretta seemed to measure me with his eye
I addressed myself to Father Marescotti and made my particular acknowlegements to him for the favour of his visit and what had passed in it He looked upon me with pleasure probably with the more as this was a farewel visit
The two Ladies whispered and looked upon me and seemed to bespeak each others attention to what passed
Signor Sebastiano placed himself next to Jeronymo and often whispered him and as often cast his eye upon me He was partial to me I believe because my generous friend seemed pleased with what he said
His brother Signor Juliano sat on the other hand of me They are agreeable and polite young gentlemen
A profound silence succeeded the general compliments
I addressed myself to the Marquis Your Lordship and you madam turning to the Marchioness I hope will excuse me for having requested of you the honour of being once more admitted to your presence and to that of three brothers for whom I shall ever retain the highest veneration and respect I could not think of leaving a city where one of the first families in it has done me the highest honour without taking such a leave as might shew my gratitude—Accept my Lords bowing to each Accept madam more profoundly bowing to the Marchioness my respectful thanks for all your goodness to me I shall to the end of my life number most of the days that I have passed at Bologna among its happiest even
were the remainder to be as happy as man ever knew
The Marquis said We wish you Chevalier very happy happier than—He sighed and was silent
His Lady only bowed Her face spoke distress Her voice was lost in sighs tho she struggled to suppress them
Chevalier said the Bishop with an air of solemnity you have given us many happy hours For them we thank you Jeronymo for himself will say more He is the most grateful of men We thank you also for what you have done for him
I cannot said Jeronymo express suitably my gratitude My prayers▪ my vows shall follow you whithersoever you go best of friends and best of men
The general with an air and a smile that might have been dispensed with oddly said High pleasure and high pain are very near neighbours They are often guilty of excesses and then are apt to mistake each others house I am one of those who think our whole house obliged to the Chevalier for the seasonable assistance he gave to our Jeronymo▪ But—
Dear General said Juliana bear with an interruption The intent of this meeting is amicable The Chevalier is a man of honour Things may have fallen out unhappily yet nobody to blame
As to blame or otherwise said the Conte della Porretta that is not now to be talked of else I know where it lies In short among ourselves The Chevalier acted greatly by Signor Jeronymo We were all obliged to him But to let such a man as this have free admission to our daughter—She ought to have had no eyes
Pray my Lord Pray brother said the Marquis Are we not enough sufferers
The Chevalier said the General cannot but be gratified by so high a compliment and smiled indignantly
My Lord replied I to the General you know very little of the man before you if you dont believe him to be the most afflicted man present
Impossible said the Marquis with a sigh
The Marchioness arose from her seat motioning to go and turning round to the two Ladies and the Count I have resigned my will to the will of you all my dearest friends and shall be permitted to withdraw This testimony however before I go I cannot but bear Whereever the fault lay it lay not with the Chevalier He has from the first to the last acted with the nicest honour He is intitled to our respect The unhappiness lies nowhere but in the difference of religion
Well and that now is absolutely out of the question said the General It is indeed Chevalier
I hope my Lord from a descendant of a family so illustrious to find an equal exemption from wounding words and wounding looks and that Sir as well from your generosity as from your justice
My looks give you offence Chevalier—Do they
I attended to the Marchioness She came towards me I arose and respectfully took her hand—Chevalier said she I could not withdraw without bearing the testimony I have borne to your merits I wish you happy—God protect you whithersoever you go Adieu
She wept I bowed on her hand with profound respect She retired with precipitation It was with difficulty that I suppressed the rising tear I took my seat
I made no answer to the Generals last question tho it was spoken in such a way I saw by their eyes as took every other persons notice
Lady Sforza when her sister was retired hinted that the last interview between the young Lady and me was an unadvised permission tho intended for the best
I then took upon me to defend that step Lady Clementina said I had declared That if she were allowed to speak her whole mind to me she should be easy I had for some time given myself up to absolute despair The Marchioness intended not favour to me in allowing of the interview It was the most affecting one to me I had ever known But let me say That far from having bad effects on the young Ladys mind it had good ones I hardly knew how to talk upon a subject so very interesting to every one present but not more so to any one than to myself I thought of avoiding it and have been led into it but did not lead And since it is before us let me recommend as the most effectual way to restore every one to peace and happiness gentle treatment The most generous of human minds the most meek the most dutiful requires not harsh methods—
How do you know Sir said the General and looked at Jeronymo the methods now taken—
And are they then harsh my Lord said I
He was offended
I had heard proceeded I that a change of measures was resolved on I knew thatthe treatment before had been all gentle condescending indulgent I received but yesterday Letters from my father signifying his intention of speedily recalling me to my native country I shall set out very soon for Paris where I hope to meet with his more direct commands for this longdesired end What may be my destiny I know not but I shall carry with me a heart burdened with the woes of this family and distressed for the beloved daughter of it But let me bespeak you all for your own sakes Mine is out of the question I presume not upon any hope on my own account that you will treat this Angelicminded Lady with tenderness I pretend to say that I know that harsh or severe methods will not do
The General arose from his seat and with a countenance
of fervor next to fierceness—Let me tell you Grandison said he—
I arose from mine and going to Lady Sforza who sat next him he stopt supposing me going to him and seemed surprised and attentive to my motions But disregarding him I addressed myself to that Lady You madam are the aunt of Lady Clementina The tender the indulgent mother is absent and has declared that she resigns her will to the will of her friends present—Allow me to supplicate that former measures may not be changed with her Great dawnings of returning reason did I discover in our last interview Her delicacy Never was there a more delicate mind wanted but to be satisfied It was satisfied and she began to be easy Were her mind but once composed the sense she has of her duty and what she owes to her religion would restore her to your wishes But if she should be treated harshly tho I am sure if she should it would be with the best intention Clementina will be lost
The General sat down They all looked upon one another. The two Ladies dried their eyes The starting tear would accompany my fervor And then stepping to Jeronymo who was extremely affected My dear Jeronymo said I my friend my beloved friend cherish in your noble heart the memory of your Grandison Would to God I could attend you to England We have baths there of sovereign efficacy The balm of a friendly and grateful heart would promote the cure I have urged it before Consider of it
My Grandison my dear Grandison my friend my preserver You are not going—
I am my Jeronymo and embraced him Love me in absence as I shall you
Chevalier said the Bishop you dont go We hope for your company at a small collation—We must not part with you yet
I cannot my Lord accept the favour Altho I had given myself up to despair of obtaining the happiness to which I once aspired yet I was not willing to quit a city that this family had made dear to me with the precipitation of a man conscious of misbehaviour I thank you for the permission I had to attend you all in full assembly May God prosper you my Lord and may you be invested with the first honours of that church which must be adorned by so worthy a heart It will be my glory when I am in my native place or whereever I am to remember that I was once thought not unworthy of a rank in a family so respectable Let me my Lord be intitled to your kind remembrance
He pulled out his handkerchief My Lord said he to his father My Lord to the General Grandison must not go—and sat down with emotion
Lady Sforza wept Laurana seemed moved The two young Lords Sebastino and Juliano were greatly affected
I then addressed myself to the Marquis who sat undetermined as to speech My venerable Lord forgive me that my address was not first paid here My heart overflows with gratitude for your goodness in permitting me to throw myself at your feet before I took a last farewel of a city favoured with your residence Best of fathers of friends of men let me entreat the continuance of your paternal indulgence to the child nearest and deserving to be nearest▪ to your heart She is all you and her mother Restore her to yourself and to her by your indulgence That alone and a blessing on your prayers can restore her Adieu my good Lord Repeated thanks for all your hospitable goodness to a man that will ever retain a grateful sense of your favour
You will not yet go was all he said—He seemed in agitation He could not say more
I then turning to the Count his brother who sat
next him said I have had not the honour to be fully known to your Lordship Some prejudices from differences in opinion may have been conceived But if you ever hear any-thing of the man befoore you unworthy of his name and of the favour once designed him then my Lord blame as well as wonder at the condescension of your noble brother and sister in my favour
Who I Who I said that Lord in some hurry—I think very well of you I never saw a man in my life that I liked so well
Your Lordship does me honour I say this the rather as I may on this solemn occasion taking leave of such honourable friends charge my future life with resolutions to behave worthy of the favour I have met with in this family
I passed from him to the General—Forgive my Lord said I the seeming formality of my behaviour in this parting scene It is a very solemn one to me You have expressed yourself of me and to me my Lord with more passion Forgive me I mean not to offend you than perhaps you will approve in yourself when I am far removed from Italy For have you not a noble mind And are you not a son of the Marquis della Porretta Permit me to observe that passion will make a man exalt himself and degrade another and the just medium will be then forgot I am afraid I have been thought more lightly of than I ought to be either in justice or for the honour of a person who is dear to every one present My country was once mentioned with disdain Think not my vanity so much concerned in what I am going to say as my honour I am proud to be thought an Englishman Yet I think as highly of every worthy man of every nation under the sun as I do of the worthy men of my own I am not of a contemptible race in my own country My father lives in it with the magnificence of a prince
He loves his son yet I presume to add that that son deems his good name his riches his integrity his grandeur Princes tho they are intitled by their rank to respect are princes to him only as they act
A few words more my Lord
I have been of the hearing not of the speaking side of the question in the two last conferences I had the honour to hold with your Lordship Once you unkindly mentioned the word triumph The word at the time went to my heart When I can subdue the natural warmth of my temper then and then only I have a triumph I should not have remembered this had I not now my Lord on this solemn occasion been received by you with an indignant eye I respect your Lordship too m••h not to take notice of this angry reception 〈…〉 silence upon it perhaps would look like sub••ribing before this illustrious company to the justice of your contempt Yet I mean no other notic• than this and this to demonstrate that I was not in my own opinion at least▪ absolutely unworth▪ of the favour I met with from the father the mother the b••thers you so justly honour and which I wished to stand in with you
And now my Lord allow me the honour of your hand and as I have given no cause for displeasure say that you will remember me with kindness as I shall honour you and your whole family to the last day of my life
The General heard me out but it was with great emotion He accepted not my hand he returned not any answer The Bishop arose and taking him aside endeavoured to calm him
I addressed myself to the two young Lords and said That if ever their curiosity led them to visit England where I hoped to be in a few months I should be extremely glad of cultivating their esteem and favour by the best offices I could do them
They received my civility with politeness
I addressed myself next to Lady Laurana—May you madam the friend the intimate the chosen companion of Lady Clementina never know the hundredth part of the woe that fills the breast of the man before you for the calamity that has befallen your admirable cousin and because of that a whole excellent family Let me recommend to you that tender and soothing treatment to her which her tender heart would shew to you in any calamity that should befal you I am not a bad man madam tho of a different communion from yours Think but half so charitably of me as I do of every one of your religion who lives up to his professions and I shall be happy in your favourable thoughts when you hear me spoken of
It is easy to imagine Dr Bartlett that I addressed myself in this manner to this Lady whom I had never before seen that she might not think the harder of her cousins prepossessions in favour of a Protestant
I recommended myself to the favour of Father Marescotti He assured me of his esteem in very warm terms
And just as I was again applying to my Jeronymo the General came to me You cannot think Sir said he nor did you design it I suppose that I should be pleased with your address to me I have only this question to ask When do you quit Bologna
Let me ask your Lordship said I When do you return to Naples
Why that question Sir haughtily
I will answer you frankly Your Lordship at the first of my acquaintance with you invited me to Napes I promised to pay my respects to you there If you think of being there in a week I will attend you at your own palace in that city and there my Lord I hope no cause to the contrary having arisen from me to be received by you with the same kindness and favour that you shewed when you gave me the invitation I think to leave Bologna tomorrow
O brother said the Bishop Are you not now overcome
And are you in earnest said the General
I am my Lord I have many valuable friends at different courts and cities in Italy to take leave of I never intend to see it again I would look upon your Lordship as one of those friends But you seem still displeased with me You accepted not my offered hand before Once more I tender it A man of spirit cannot be offended at a man of spirit without lessening himself I call upon your dignity my Lord
He held out his hand just as I was withdrawing mine I have pride you know Dr Bartlett and I was conscious of a superiority in this instance I took his hand however at his offer yet pitied him that his motion was made at all as it wanted that grace which generally accompanies all he does and says
The Bishop embraced me—Your moderation thus exerted said he must ever make you triumph O Grandison you are a Prince of the Almightys creation
The noble Jeronymo dried his eyes and held out his arms to embrace me
The General said I shall certainly be at Naples in a week I am too much affected by the woes of my family to behave as perhaps I ought on this occasion Indeed Grandison it is difficult for sufferers to act with spirit and temper at the same time
It is my Lord I have found it so My hopes raised as once they were now sunk and absolute despair having taken place of them—Would to God I had never returned to Italy—But I reproach not anybody
Yet said Jeronymo you have some reason—To be sent for as you were—He was going on—Pray brother said the General—And turning to me I may expect you Sir at Naples
You may my Lord But one favour I have to beg of you mean time It is That you will not treat harshly your dear Clementina Would to Heaven I might have had the honour to say my Clementina And permit me to make one other request on my own account And that is That you will tell her that I took my leave of your whole family by their kind permission and that at my departure I wished her from my soul all the happiness that the best and tenderest of her friends can wish her I make this request to you my Lord rather than to Signor Jeronymo because the tenderness which he has for me might induce him to mention me to her in a manner which might at this time affect her too sensibly for her peace
Be pleased my dear Signor Jeronymo to make my devotion known to the Marchioness Wou•• to Heaven—But Adieu and once more Adieu my Jeronymo I shall hear from you when I get to Naples if not before—God restore your sister and heal you
I bowed to the Marquis to the Ladies to the General to the Bishop particularly to the rest in general and was obliged in order to conceal my emotion to hurry out of the door The servants had planted themselves in a row not for selfish motives as in England They bowed to the ground and blessed me as I went through them I had ready a purse of ducats One hand and another declined it I dropt it in their sight God be with you my honest friends said I and departed—O Dr Bartlett with a heart how much distressed
And now my good Miss Byron Have I not reason from the deep concern which you take in the woes of Lady Clementina to regret the task you have put me upon And do you my good Lord and Lady L and Miss Grandison now wonder that your brother
has not been forward to give you the particulars of this melancholy tale Yet you all say I must proceed
See Lucy the greatness of this mans behaviour What a presumption was it in your Harriet ever to aspire to call such a one hers
THIS Lady Olivia Lucy what can she pretend to—But I will not puzzle myself about her Yet she pretend to give disturbance to such a man You will find her mentioned in Dr Bartletts next Letter or she would not have been named by me
Dr Bartletts eleventh Letter
MR Grandison on hi• return to his lodgings found there in disguise Lady Olivia He wanted not any new disturbance But I will not mix the stories
The next morning he received a Letter from Signor Jeronymo The following is a translation of it
My dearest Grandison
HOW do you—Everamiable friend▪ What triumphs did your behaviour of last night obtain for you Not a soul here bu• admires you
Even Laurana declared That were you a Catholic it would be a merit to love you Yet she reluctantly praised you and once said▪ What but splendid sins are the virtues of an Here•ic
Our two cousins with the goodnature of youth lamented that you c•u•d not be ours in the way you wisn My father wept like a child when you were gone and seemed to enjoy the praises given you by
every one The Count said He never saw a nobler behaviour in man Your free your manly your polite air and address and your calmness and intrepidity were applauded by every one
What joy did this give to your Jeronymo I thought I wanted neither crutches helps nor wheeled chair and several times forgot that I ailed anything
I begin to love Father Marescotti He was with the foremost in praising you
The General owned that he was resolved once to quarrel with you But will he do you think Jeronymo said he make me a visit at Naples—You may depend upon it he will answered I—I will be be there to receive him replied he
They admired you particularly for your address to my sister by the General rather than by me And Lady Sforza said It was a thousand pities that you and Clementina could not be one They applauded all of them what they had not any of them the power to imitate that largeness of heart which makes you think so well and speak so tenderly of those of communions different from your own So much steadiness in your own Religion yet so much prudence in a man so young they said was astonishing No wonder that your character ran so high in every court you had visited
My mother came in soon after you had left us She was equally surprised and grieved to find you gone She thought she was sure of your staying supper and not satisfied with the slight leave she had taken she had been strengthening her mind to pass an hour in your company in order to take a more solemn one
My father asked her after her daughter
Poor soul said she she has heard that the Chevalier was to be here to take leave of us
By whom By whom said my father
I cannot tell But the poor creature is halfraving to be admitted among us She has dressed herself in one of her best suits and I found her sitting in a kind of form expecting to be called down Indeed Lady Sforza the method we are in does not do
So the Chevalier said replied that Lady Well let us change it with all my heart It is no pleasure to treat the dear Girl harshly—O sister this is a most extraordinary man
That moment in bolted Camilla—Lady Clementina is just at the door I could not prevail upon her—
We all looked upon one another.
Three soft taps at the door and a hem let us know she was there
Let her come in dear girl let her come in said the Count The Chevalier is not here
Laurana arose and ran to the door and led her in by the hand
Dear creature How wild she looked—Tears ran down my cheeks I had not seen her for two days before O how earnestly did she look round her withdrawing her hand from her cousin who would have led her to a chair and standing quite still
Come and sit by me my sweet love said her weeping mother—She stept towards her
Sit down my dear girl
No You beat me remember
Who beat you my dear—Sure nobody would beat my child—Who beat you Clementina
I dont know—Still looking round her as wanting somebody
Again her mother courted her to sit down
No madam you dont love me
Indeed my dear I do
So you say
Her father held out his open arms to her Tears ran down his cheeks He could not speak—Ah my father said she stepping towards him
He caught her in his arms—Dont dont Sir faintly struggling with averted face—You love me not—You refused to see your child when she wanted to claim your protection—I was used cruelly
By whom my dear by whom
By everybody I complained to one and to another but all were in a tone And so I thought I would be contented My mamma too—But it is no matter I saw it was to be so and I did not care
By my soul said I this is not the way with her Lady Sforza The Chevalier is in the right You see how sensible she is of harsh treatment
Well well said the General let us change our measures
Still the dear girl looked out earnestly as for Somebody
She loosed herself from the arms of her sorrowing father
Let us in silence said the Count observe her motions
She went to him on tiptoe and looking in his face over his shoulder as he sat with his back towards her passed him then to the General then to Signor Sebastiano and to every one round till she came to me looking at each over his shoulder in the same manner Then folding her fingers her hands open and her arm hanging down to their full extent she held up her face meditating with such a significant woe that I thought my heart would have burst—Not a soul in the company had a dry eye
Lady Sforza arose took her two bands the fingers still clasped and would have spoken to her but could not and hastily retired to her seat
Tears at last began to trickle down her cheeks as she stood fixedly looking up She started looked about her and hastening to her mother threw her arms about her neck and hiding her face in her bosom broke out into a stood of tears mingled with sobs that penetrated every heart
The first words she said were Love me my mamma Love your child your poor child your Clementina Then raising her head and again laying it in her mothers bosom—If ever you loved me love me now my mamma—I have need of your love
My father was forced to withdraw He was led out by his two sons
Your poor Jeronymo was unable to help himself He wanted as much comfort as his father What were the wounds of his body at that time to those of his mind
My two brothers returned This dear girl said the Bishop will break all our hearts
Her tears had seemed to relieve her She held up her head My mothers bosom seemed wet with her childs tears and her own Still she looked round her
Suppose said I somebody were to name the man she seems to look for It may divert this wildness
Did she come down said Laurana to Camilla with the expectation of seeing him
She did
Let me said the Bishop speak to her He arose and taking her hand walked with her about the room You look pretty my Clementina Your ornaments are charmingly fansied What made you dress yourself so prettily
She looked earnestly at him in silence He repeated his question—I speak said she all my heart and then I suffer for it Everybody is against me
You shall not suffer for it Everybody is for you
I confessed to Mrs Beaumont I confessed to you brother But what did I get by it—Let go my hand I dont love you I believe
I am sorry for it I love you Clementina as I love my own soul
Yet you never chide your own soul
He turned his sace from her to us She must not be treated harshly said he He soothed her in a truly brotherly manner
Tell me added he to his foothings Did you expect anybody here that you find not
Did I Yes I did—Camilla come hither—Let go my hand brother
He did She took Camilla under the arm—Dont you know Camilla said she what you heard said of Somebodys threatening Somebody—Dont let anybody hear us drawing her to one end of the room—I want to take a walk with you into the garden Camilla
It is dark night madam
No matter If you are afraid I will go by myself
Seem to humour her in talk Camilla said the Count but dont go out of the room with her
Be pleased to tell me madam what we are to walk in the garden for
Why Camilla I had a horrid dream last night and I cannot be easy till I go into the garden
What madam was your dream
In the Orangegrove I thought I stumbled over the body of a deadman
And who was it madam
Dont you know who was threatned And was not Somebody here to night And was not Somebody to sup here And is he here
The General then went to her My dearest Clementina my beloved sister set your heart at rest Somebody is safe Shall be safe
She took first one of his hands then the other and looking in the palms of them They are not bloody said she—What have you done with him then Where is he
Where is who—
You know whom I ask after but you want something against me
Then stepping quick up to me My Jeronymo—Did I see you before and stroaked my cheek—Now tell me Jeronymo—Dont come near me Camilla
Pray Sir to the General do you sit down She leaned her arm upon my shoulder I dont hurt you Jeronymo Do I
No my dearest Clementina
Thats my best brother—Cruel assassins—But the brave man came just in time to save you—But do you know what is become of him
He is safe my dear He could not stay
Did anybody affront him
No my love
Are you sure nobody did—Very sure Father Marescotti said she turning to him who wept from the time she entered You dont love him But you are a good man and will tell me truth Where is he Did nobody affront him
No madam
Because said she he never did any thing but good to any one
Father Marescotti said I admires him as much as anybody
Admire him Father Marescotti admire him—But he does not love him And I never heard him say one word against Father Marescotti in my life—Well but Jeronymo What made him go away then Was he not to stay supper
He was desired to stay but would not
Jeronymo let me whisper you—Did he toll you that I wrote him a Letter
I guessed you did whispered I
You are a strange guesser But you cant guess how I sent it to him—But hush Jeronymo—Well but Jeronymo Did he say nothing of me when he went away
He left his compliments for you with the General
With the General The General wont tell me
Yes he will—Brother pray tell my sister what the Chevalier said to you at parting
He repeated exactly what you had desired him to say to her
Why would they not let me see him said she Am I never to see him more
I hope you will replied the Bishop
If resumed she we could have done any-thing that might have looked like a return to his goodness to us and to you my Jeronymo in particular I believe I should have been easy—And so you say he is gone—And gone for ever lifting up her hand from her wrist as it lay over my shoulder Poor Chevalier—But hush hush pray hush Jeronymo
She went from me to her aunt and cousin Laurana Love me again madam said she to the former. You loved me once
I never loved you better than now my dear
Did you Laurana see the Chevalier Grandison
I did
And did he go away safe and unhurt
Indeed he did
A man who had preserved the life of our dear Jeronymo said she to have been hurt by us would have been dreadful you know I wanted to say a few words to him I was astonished to find him not here And then my dream came into my head It was a sad dream indeed But cousin be good to me Pray do You did not use to be cruel You used to say you loved me I am in calamity my dear I know I am miserable At times I know I am and then I am grieved at my heart and think how happy every one is but me But then again I ail nothing and am well But do love me Laurana I am in calamity my dear I would love you if you were in calamity Indeed I would—Ah Laurana What is become of all your fine promises But then everybody loved me and I was happy—Yet you tell me It is all for my good Naughty Laurana—To wound my heart by your crossness and then say It is for my good—Do you think I should have served you so
Laurana blushed and wept Her aunt promised her that everybody would love her and comfort her and not be angry with her if she would make her heart easy
I am very particular my dear Grandison I know you love I should be so From this minuteness you will judge of the workings of her mind They are resolved to take your advice It was very seasonable and treat her with indulgence The Count is earnest to have it so
CAMILLA has just left me She says That her young Lady had a tolerable night She thinks it owing in a great measure to her being indulged in asking the servants who saw you depart how you looked and being satisfied that you went away unhurt and unaffronted
Adieu my dearest my best friend Let me hear from you as often as you can
I JUST now understand from Camilla that the dear girl has made an earnest request to my father mother and aunt and been refused She came back from them deeply afflicted and as Camilla fears is going into one of her gloomy fits again I hope to write again if you depart not from Bologna before tomorrow But I must for my own sake write shorter Letters Yet how can I Since however melancholy the subject when I am writing to you I am conversing with you My dear Grandison once more
Adieu
O Lucy my dear Whence come all the tears this melancholy story has cost me I cannot dwell upon the scenes—Begone all those wishes that would interfere with the interest of that sweet distressed Saint at Bologna
How impolitic Lucy was it in them not to gratify her impatience to see him She would most probably have been quieted in her mind if she had been obliged by one other interview
What a delicacy my dear what a generosity is there in her Love
Sir Charles in Lord Ls Study said to me that his compassion was engaged but his honour was free And so it seems to be But a generosity in return for her generosity must bind such a mind as his
IN the doctors next Letter inclosed you will find mention made of Sir Charless Literary Journal I fancy my dear it must be a charming thing I wish we could have before us every line he wrote while he was in Italy Once the presumptuous Harriet had hopes that she might have been intitled—But no more of these hopes—It cant be helped Lucy
Dr Bartletts twelfth Letter
MR Grandison proceeds thus
The next morning I employed myself in visiting and taking leave of several worthy members of the University with whom I had passed many very agreeable and improving hours during my residence in this noble city In my Literary Journal you have an account of those worthy persons and of some of our conversations I paid my duty to the Cardinal Legate and the Gonfaloniere and to three of his counsellors by whom you know I had been likewise greatly honoured My mind was not free enough to enjoy their conversation Such a weight upon my heart how could it But the debt of gratitude and civility was not to be left unpaid
On my return to my lodgings which was not till the evening I found the General had been there to enquire after me
I sent one of my servants to the palace of Porretta with my compliments to the General to the Bishop and Jeronymo and with particular enquiries after the health of the Ladies and the Marquis but had only a general answer That they were much as I left them
The two young Lords Sebastiano and Juliano made me a visit of ceremony They talked of visiting England in a year or two I assured them of my best services and urged them to go thither I asked them after the healths of the Marquis the Marchioness and their beloved cousin Clementina Signor Sebastiano shook his head Very very indifferent were his words We parted with great civilities
I will now turn my thoughts to Florence and to the affairs there that have lain upon me from the death of my good friend Mr Jervois and from my wardship I told you in their course the steps I took in those affairs and how happy I had been in some parts of management There I hope soon to see you my dear Dr Bartlett from the Levant to whose care I can so safely consign my precious trust while I go to Paris and attend the wishedfor call of my father to my native country from which I have been for so many years an exile
There also I hope to have some opportunities of conversing with my good Mrs Beaumont resolving to make another effort to get so valuable a person to restore herself to her beloved England
Thus my dear Dr Bartlett do I endeavour to console myself in order to lighten that load of grief which I labour under on the distresses of the dear Clementina If I can leave her happy I shall be sooner so than I could have been in the same circumstances had I from the first of my acquaintance with
the family to the breach of all the laws of hospitality indulged a passion for her
Yet is the unhappy Olivia a damp upon my endeavours after consolation When she made her unseasonable visit to me at Bologna she refused to return to Florence without me till I assured her that as my affairs would soon call me thither I would visit her at her own palace as often as those affairs would permit Her pretence for coming to Bologna was to induce me to place Emily with her till I had settled everything for my carrying the child to England she had wrought so with Emily as to induce her to be an earnest petitioner to me to permit her to live with Lady Olivia whose equipages and the glare in which she lives had dazled the eyes of the young Lady
I was impatient to hear again from Jeronymo and just as I was setting out for Florence in despair of that savour it being the second day after my farewel visit I had the following Letter from him
I Have not been well my dear Grandison I am afraid the wound in my shoulder must be laid open again God give me patience But my life is a burden to me
We are driving here at a strange rate They promised to keep measures with the dear creature but she has heard that you are leaving Bologna and raves to see you
Poor soul She endeavoured to prevail upon her father mother aunt to permit her to see you but for five minutes That was the petition which was denied her as I mentioned in my last
Camilla was afraid that she would go into a gloomy fit upon it as I told you—She did but it lasted not long For she made an effort soon after to go out of
the house by way of the garden The gardener refused his key and brought Camilla to her whom she had by an innocent piece of art but just before sent to bring her something from her toilette
The General went with Camilla to her They found her just setting a ladder against the wall She heard them and screamed and leaving the ladder ran to avoid them till she came in sight of the great cascade into which had she not by a cross alley been intercepted by the General it is feared she would have thrown herself
This has terrified us all She begs but for one interview one parting interview and she promises to make herself easy But it is not thought adviseable Yet Father Marescotti himself thought it best to indulge her Had my mother been earnest I believe it had been granted But she is so much concerned at the blame she met with on permitting the last interview that she will not contend tho she has let them know that she did not oppose the request
The unhappy girl ran into my chamber this morning—Jeronymo He will be gone said she I know he will All I want is but to see him To wish him happy And to know If he will remember me when he is gone as I shall him—Have you no interest Jeronymo Cannot I once see him Not once
The Bishop before I could answer came in quest of her followed by Laurana from whom she had forcibly disengaged herself to come to me
Let me have but one parting interview my Lord said she looking to him and clinging about my neck He will be gone Gone for ever Is there so in being allowed to say Farewel and be happy Grandison and excuse all the trouble I have given you—What has my brothers preserver done what have I done that I must not see him nor he me for one quarter of an hour only
Indeed my Lord said I she should be complied with Indeed she should
My Father thinks otherwise said the Bishop The Count thinks otherwise I think otherwise Were the Chevalier a common man she might But she dwells upon what passed in the last interview and his behaviour to her That it is plain did her harm
The next may drive the thoughts of that out of her head returned I
Dear Jeronymo replied he a little peevishly you will always think differently from everybody else Mrs Beaumont comes tomorrow
What do I care for Mrs Beaumont said she—I dont love her She tells everything I say
Come my dear love said Laurana you afflict your brother Jeronymo Let us go up to your own chamber
I afflict everybody and everybody afflicts me and you are all cruel Why he will be gone I tell you That makes me so impatient and I have something to say to him My father wont see me My mother renounces me I have been looking for her and she hides herself from me—And I am a prisoner and watched and used ill
Here comes my mother said Laurana You now must go up to your chamber cousin Clementina
So she does said she Now I must go indeed—Ah Jeronymo Now there is no saying nay—But it is hard Very hard—And she burst into tears I wont speak tho said she to my aunt Remember I will be silent madam—Then whispering me My aunt brother is not the aunt she used to be to me—But hush I dont complain you know
By this I saw that Lady Sforza was severe with her
She addressed herself to her aunt You are not my mamma are you madam
No child
No child indeed I know that too well But my brother Giacomo is as cruel to me as anybody But hush Jeronymo—Dont you betray me—Now my
aunt is come I must go—I wish I could run away from you all
She was yesterday detected writing a Letter to you My mother was shewn what she had written and wept over it My aunt took it out of my sisters bosom where she had trust it on her coming in This she resented highly
When she was led into her own chamber she refused to speak but in great hurry went to her closet and taking down her bible turned over one leaf and another very quick Lady Sforza had a book in her hand and sat overagainst the closetdoor to observe her motions She came to a place—Pretty said she
The Bishop had formerly given her a smattering of Latin—She took pen and ink and wrote Youll see Chevalier the very great purity of her thoughts by what she omitted and what she chose from the Canticles Velut unguentum diffunditur nomen tuum c
In the English translation thus
Thy name is as ointment poured forth therefore do the virgins love thee Draw me we will run after thee The upright love thee
Look not upon me because I am black because the sun hath looked upon me My mothers children were angry with me They made me the keeper of the vineyards but mine own vineyard have I not kept
Tell me O thou whom my soul loveth where thou feedest where thou makest thy flock to rest at noon For why should I be as one that turneth aside by the flocks of thy companions
She laid down her pen and was thoughtful her elbow resting on the escritoire she wrote upon her hand supporting her head
May I look over you my dear said her aunt stepping to her and taking up the paper read it and took it out of the closet with her unopposed her gentle bosom only heaving with sighs
I will write no more so minutely on this affecting subject my Grandison
They are all of opinion that she will be easy when she knows that you have actually left Bologna and they strengthen their opinion by these words of hers above recited
Why he will be gone I tell you and this makes me so impatient
—At least they are resolved to try the experiment And so my dear Grandison you must be permitted to leave us
God be your director and comforter as well as ours prays
Your ever affectionate JERONYMO
Mr Grandison having no hopes of being allowed to see the unhappy Lady set out with a heavy heart for Florence He gave orders there and at Leghorn that the clerks and agents of his late friend Mr Jervois should prepare every thing for his inspection against his return from Naples and then he set out for that city to attend the General
He had other friends to whom he had endeared himself at Sienna Ancona and particularly at Rome as he had also some at Naples of whom he intended to take leave before he set out for Paris And therefore went to attend the General with the greater pleasure
Within the appointed time he arrived at Naples
The General received me says Mr Grandison with greater tokens of politeness than affection You are the happiest man in the world Chevalier said he after the first compliments in escaping dangers by braving them I do assure you that I had great difficulties to deny myself the favour of paying you a visit in my own way at Bologna I had indeed resolved to do it till you proposed this visit to me here
I should have been very sorry replied I to have seen a brother of Lady Clementina in any way that
should not have made me consider him as her brother But before I say another word let me ask after her health How does the most excellent of women
You have not heard then
I have not my Lord But it is not for want of solicitude I have sent three several messengers but can hear nothing to my satisfaction
Nor can you hear any thing from me that will give you any
I am grieved at my soul that I cannot How my Lord do the Marquis and Marchioness
Dont ask They are extremely unhappy
I hear that my dear friend Signor Jeronymo has undergone—
A dreadful operation innterrupted the General—He has Poor Jeronymo He could not write to you God preserve my brother But Chevalier you did not save half a life tho we thank you for that when you restored him to our arms
I had no reason to boast my Lord of the accident I never made a merit of it It was a mere accident and cost me nothing The service was greatly overrated
Would to God Chevalier it had been rendered by any other man in the world
As it has proved I am sure my Lord I have reason to join in the wish
He shewed me his pictures statues and cabinet of curiosities while dinner was preparing but rather for the ostentation of his magnificence and taste than to do me pleasure I even observed an increasing coldness in his behaviour and his eye was too often cast upon me with a fierceness that shewed resentment and not with the hospitable frankness that became him to a visiter and guest who had undertaken a journey of above two hundred miles principally to attend him and to shew him the confidence he had in his honour This as it was more to his dishonour
than mine I pitied him for But what most of all disturbed me was that I could not obtain from him any particular intelligence relating to the health of one person whose distresses lay heavy upon my heart
There were several persons of distinction at dinner the discourse could therefore be only general He paid me great respect at his table but it was a solemn one I was the more uneasy at it as I apprehended that the situation of the Bologna family was more unhappy than when I left that city
He retired with me into his garden You stay with me at least the week out Chevalier
No my Lord I have affairs of a deceased friend at Florence and at Leghorn to settle Tomorrow as early as I can I shall set out for Rome in my way to Tuscany
I am surprised Chevalier You take something amiss in my behaviour
I cannot say that your Lordships countenance I am a very free speaker has that benignity in it that complacency which I have had the pleasure to see in it
By G Chevalier I could have loved you better than any man in the world next to the men of my own family but I own I see you not here with so much love as admiration
The word admiration my Lord may require explanation You may admire at my confidence But I thank you for the manly freedom of your acknowlegement in general
By admiration I mean all that may do you honour Your bravery in coming hither particularly and your greatness of mind on your taking leave of us all But did you not then mean to insult me
I meant to observe to you then as I now do in your own palace that you had not treated me as my heart told me I deserved to be treated But when I thought your warmth was rising to the uneasiness of
your assembled friends instead of answering your question about my stay at Bologna as you seemed to mean it I invited myself to an attendance upon you here at Naples in such a manner as surely could not be construed an insult
I own Grandison you disconcerted me I had intended to save you that journey
Was that your Lordships meaning when in my absence you called at my lodgings the day after the farewelvisit
Not absolutely I was uneasy with myself I intended to talk to you What that talk might have produced I know not But had I invited you out if I had found you at home would you have answered my demands
According as you had put them
Will you answer them now if I attend you as far as Rome on your return to Florence
If they are demands fit to be answered
Do you expect I will make any that are not fit to be answered
My Lord I will explain myself You had conceived causeless prejudices against me You seemed inclined to impute to me a misfortune that was not could not be greater to you than it was to me I knew my own innocence I knew that I was rather an injured man in having hopes given me in which I was disappointed not by my own fault Whom shall an innocent and an injured man fear—Had I feared my fear might have been my destruction For was I not in the midst of your friends A foreigner If I would have avoided you could I had you been determined to seek me—I would choose to meet even an enemy as a man of honour rather than to avoid him as a malefactor In my country the law supposes flight a confession of guilt Had you made demands upon me that I had not chosen to answer I would have expostulated with you I could
Perhaps have done so as calmly as I now speak If you would not have been expostulated with I would have stood upon my defence But for the world I would not have hurt a brother of Clementina and Jeronymo a son of the Marquis and Marchioness of Porretta could I have avoided it Had your passion given me any advantage over you and I had obtained your sword a pistol had the choice been left to me I had refused for both our sakes I would have presented both swords to you and bared my breast It was before penetrated by the distresses of the dear Clementina and of all your family—Perhaps I should only have said
If your Lordship thinks I have injured you take your revenge
And now that I am at Naples let me say that if you are determined contrary to all my hopes to accompany me to Rome or elsewhere on my return with an unfriendly purpose such and no other shall be my behaviour to you if the power be given me to shew it I will rely on my own innocence and hope by generosity to overcome a generous man Let the guilty secure themselves by violence and murder
Superlative pride angrily said he and stood still measuring me with his eye And could you hope for such an advantage
While I my Lord was calm and determined only upon selfdefence while you were passionate and perhaps rash as aggressors generally are I did not doubt it But could I have avoided drawing and preserved your good opinion I would not have drawn Your Lordship cannot but know my principles
Grandison I do know them and also the general report in your favour for skill and courage Do you think I would have heard with patience of the once proposed alliance had not your character—And then he was pleased to say many things in my favour
from the report of persons who had weight with him some of whom he named
But still Grandison said he this poor girl—She could not have been so deeply affected had not some Loverlike arts—
Let me my Lord interrupt you—I cannot bear an imputation of this kind Had such arts been used the Lady could not have been so much affected Cannot you think of your noble sister as a daughter of the two houses from which you sprang▪ Cannot you see her as by Mrs Beaumonts means we now so lately have been able to see her struggling nobly with her own heart Why am I put upon this tender subject because of her duty and her religion and resolved to die rather than encourage a wish that was not warranted by both—I cannot my Lord urge this subject But there never was a passion so nobly contended with There never was a man more disinterested and so circumstanced Remember only my voluntary departure from Bologna against persuasion and the great behaviour of your sister on that occasion great as it came out to be when Mrs Beaumont brought her to acknowlege what would have been my glory to have kown could it have been encouraged but is now made my heaviest concern
Indeed Grandison she ever was a noble girl We are too apt perhaps to govern ourselves by events without looking into causes But the access you had to her such a man and who became known to us from circumstances so much in his favour both as a man of principle and bravery—
This my Lord interrupted I is still judging from events You have seen Mrs Beaumonts Letter Surely you cannot have a nobler monument of magnanimity in woman And to that I refer for a proof of my own integrity
I have that Letter Jeronymo gave it me at my
taking leave of him and with these words
Grandison will certainly visit you at Naples I am afraid of your warmth His spirit is well known All my dependance is upon his principles He will not draw but in his own defence Cherish the noble visiter Surely brother I may depend upon your hospitable temper Read over again this Letter before you see him
—I have not yet read it proceeded the General but I will and that if you will allow me now
He took it out of his pocket walked from me and read it and then came to me and took my hand—I am half ashamed of myself my dear Grandison I own I wanted magnanimity All the distresses of our family on this unhappy grirls account were before my eyes and I received you I behaved to you as the author of them I was contriving to be dissatisfied with you Forgive me and command my best services I will let our Jeronymo know how greatly you subdued me before I had recourse to the Letter but that I have since read that part of it which accounts for my sisters passion and wish I had read it with equal attention before I acquit you I am proud of my sister Yet I observe from this very Letter that Jeronymos gratitude has contributed to the evil we deplore But—Let us not say one word more of the unhappy girl It is painful to me to talk of her
Not ask a question my Lord—
Dont Grandison dont—Jeronymo and Clementina are my souls woe—But they are not worse than might be apprehended You go to court with me tomorrow I will present you to the king
I have had that honour formerly I must depart tomorrow morning early I have already taken leave of several of my friends here I have some to make my compliments to at Rome which I reserved for my return
You stay with me tonight
I intend it my Lord
Well we will return to company Imust make my excuses to my friends Your departure tomorrow must be one They all admire you They are acquainted with your character They will join with me to engage you if possible to stay longer
We returned to the company
REceive now my dear the doctors thirteenth Letter and the last he intends to favour us with till he entertains us with the histories of Mrs Beaumont and Lady Olivia
Dr Bartletts thirteenth Letter
MR Grandison set out next morning The Generals behaviour to him at his departure was much more open and free than it was at receiving him
Mr Grandison on his return to Florence entered into the affairs of his late friend Mr Jervois with the spirit and yet with the temper for which he is noted when he engages in any business He put every thing in a happy train in fewer days than it would have cost some other persons months for he was present himself on every occasion and in every business where his presence would accelerate it Yet he had embarrassments from Olivia
He found before he set out for Naples that Mrs Beaumont at the earnest request of the Marchioness was gone to Bologna At his return not hearing any-thing from Signor Jeronymo he wrote to Mrs Beaumont requesting her to inform him of the state of things in that family as far as she thought proper
and particularly of the health of that dear friend on whose silence to three Letters he had written he had the most melancholy apprehensions He let that Lady know that he should set out in a very few days for Paris if he had no probability of being of service to the family she favoured with her company
To this Letter Mrs Beaumont returned the following answer
SIR
I Have the favour of yours We are very miserable here The servants are forbidden to answer any enquiries but generally and that not truly
Your friend Signor Jeronymo has gone through a severe operation He has been given over but hopes are now entertained not of his absolute recovery but that he will be no worse than he was before the necessity for the operation arose Poor man He forgot not however his sister and you when he was out of the power of the opiates that were adminstred to him
On my coming hither I found Lady Clementina in a deplorable way Sometimes raving sometimes gloomy and in bonds—Twice had she given them apprehensions of fatal attempts They therefore confined her hands
They have been excessively wrong in their management of her Now soothing now severe observing no method
She was extremely earnest to see you before you lest Bologna On her knees repeatedly she besought this favour and promised to be easy if they would comply but they imagined that their compliance would aggravate the symptoms
I very freely blamed them for not complying at the time when she was so desirous of seeing you I told them that soothing her would probably then have done good
When they knew you were actually gone from Bologna they told her so Camilla shocked me with the description of her rage and despair on the communication This was followed by fits of silence and the deepest melancholy
They had hopes on my arrival that my company would have been of service to her But for two days together she regarded me not nor any-thing I could say to her On the third of my arrival finding her confinement extremely uneasy to her I prevailed but with great difficulty to have her restored to the use of her hands and to be allowed to walk with me in the garden They had hinted to me their apprehensions about a piece of water
Her woman being near us if there had been occasion for assistance I insensibly led that way She sat down on a seat overagainst the great cascade but she made no motion that gave me apprehensions From this time she has been fonder of me than before The day I obtained this liberty for her she often clasped her arms about me and laid her face in my bosom and I could plainly see it was in gratitude for restoring to her the use of her arms But she cared not to speak
Indeed she generally affects deep silence Yet at times I see her very soul is fretted She moves to one place is tired of that shifts to another and another all round the room
I am grieved at my heart for her I never knew a more excellent young creature
She is very attentive at her devotions and as constant in them as she used to be Every good habit she preserves yet at other times rambles much
She is often for writing Letters to you but when what she writes is privately taken from her she makes no enquiry about it but takes a new sheet and begins again
Sometimes she draws But her subjects are generally
Angels and Saints She often meditates in a map of the British dominions and nowandthen wishes she were in England
Lady Juliana de Sforza is earnest to have her with her at Urbino or at Milan where she has also a noble palace but I hope it will not be granted That Lady professes to love her but she cannot be persuaded out of her notion of harch methods which will never do with Clementina
I shall not be able to stay long with her The discomposure of so excellent a young creature affects me deeply Could I do her either good her pleasure I should be willing to deny myself the society of my dear friends at Florence But I am persuaded and have hinted as much that one interview with you would do more to settle her mind than all the methods they have taken
I hope Sir to see you before you leave Italy It must be at Florence not at Bologna I believe It is generous of you to propose the latter
I have now been here a week without hope The doctors they have consulted are all for severe methods and low diet The first I think is in compliment to some of the family She is so loth to take nourishment and when she does is so very abstemious that the regimen is hardly necessary She never or but very seldom used to drink any-thing but water
She took it into her poor head several times this day and perhaps it will hold to sit in particular places to put on attentive looks as if she were listening to somebody She sometimes smiled and seemed pleased looked up as if to somebody and spoke English I have no doubt though I was not present when she assumed these airs and talked English but her disordered imagination brought before her her tutor instructing her in that tongue
You desired me Sir to be very particular I have been so but at the expence of my eyes And I shall
not wonder if your humane heart should be affected by my sad tale
God preserve you and prosper you in whatsoever you undertake
HORTENSIA BEAUMONT
Mrs Beaumont staid at Bologna twelve days and then left the unhappy young Lady
At taking leave she asked her What commands she had for her—Love me said she and pitty me that is one. Another is whispering her you will see the Chevalier perhaps tho I must not—Tell him that his poor friend Clementina is sometimes very unhappy—Tell him that she shall rejoice to sit next him in Heaven—Tell him that I say he cannot go thither good man as he is while he shuts his eyes to the truth—Tell him that I shall take it very kindly of him if he will not think of marrying till he acquaints me with it and can give me assurance that the Lady will love him as well as Somebody else would have done—O Mrs Beaumont should the Chevalier Grandison marry a woman unworthy of him what a disgrace would that be to me
Mr Grandison by this time had prepared everything for his journey to Paris The friend he honoured with his Love was arrived from the Levant and the Archipelago Thither at his patrons request he had accompanied Mr Beauchamp the amiable friend of both and at parting engaged to continue by Letter what had been the subject of their daily conversations and transmit to him as many particulars as he could obtain of Mr Grandisons sentiments and behaviour on every occasion Mr Beauchamp proposing him as a pattern to himself that he might be worthy of the Credential Letters he had furnished him with to every one whom he had thought deserving of his own acquaintance when he was in the parts which Mr Beauchamp intended to visit
To the care of the person so much honoured by his confidence Mr Grandison left his agreeable ward Miss Jervois requesting the assistance of Mrs Beaumont who kindly promised her inspection and with the goodness for which she is so eminently noted performed her promise in his absence
He then made an offer to the Bishop to visit Bologna once more but that not being accepted he set out for Paris
It was not long before his fathers death called him to England and when he had been there a few weeks he sent for his ward and his friend
But my good Miss Byron you will say That I have not yet fully answered your last enquiry relating to the present situation of the unhappy Clementina
I will briefly inform you of it
When it was known for certain that Mr Grandison had actually left Italy the family at Bologna began to wish that they had permitted the interview so much desired by the poor Lady And when they afterwards understood that he was sent for to England to take possession of his paternal estate that farther distance the notion likewise of the seas between them appearing formidable added to their regrets
The poor Lady was kept in travelling motion to quiet her mind For still an interview with Mr Grandison having never been granted it was her first wish
They carried her to Urbino to Rome to Naples then back to Florence then to Milan to Turin
Whether they made her hope that it was to meet with Mr Grandison I know not but it is certain she herself expected to see him at the end of every journey and while she was moving was easier and more composed perhaps in that hope
The Marchioness was sometimes of the party The air and exercise were thought proper for her health as well as for that of her daughter Her
cousin Laurana was always with her in these excursions and sometimes Lady Sforza and their escorte was generally Signors Sebastiano and Juliano
But within these four months past these journeyings have been discontinued The young Lady accuses them of deluding her with vain hopes She is impatient and has made two attempts to escape from them
She is for this reason closely confined and watched
They put her once into a nunnery at the motion of Lady Sforza as for a trial only She was not uneasy in it But this being done unknown to the General when he was apprised of it he for reasons I cannot comprehend was displeased and had her taken out directly
Her head runs more than ever upon seeing her tutor her friend her Chevalier once more They have certainly been to blame if they have let her travel with such hopes because they have thereby kept up her ardor for an interview Could she but once more see him she says and let him know the cruelty she has been treated with she should be satisfied He would pity her she is sure tho nobody else will
The Bishop has written to beg that Sir Charles would pay them one more visit at Bologna
I will refer to my patron himself the communicating to you Ladies his resolution on this subject I had but a moments sight of the Letters which so greatly affected him
It is but within these few days past that this new request has been made to him in a direct manner The question was before put If such a request should be made would he comply And once Camilla wrote as having heard Sir Charless presence wished for
Meantime the poor Lady is hastening they are afraid into a consumptive malady The Count of Belvedere however still adores her The disorder
in her mind being imputed chiefly to religious melancholy and some of her particular flights not being generally known he who is a pious man himself pities her and declares that he would run all risques of her recovery would the family give her to him And yet he knows that she would choose to be the wife of the Chevalier Grandison rather than that of any other man were the article of religion to be got over and generously applauds her for preferring her Faith to her Love
Signor Jeronymo is in a very bad way Sir Charles often writes to him and with an affection worthy of the merits of that dear friend He was to undergo another severe operation on the next day after the Letters came from Bologna the success of which was very doubtful
How nobly does Sir Charles appear to support himself under such heavy distresses For those of his friends were ever his But his heart bleeds in secret for them A feeling heart is a blessing that no one who has it would be without and it is a moral security of innocence since the heart that is able to partake of the distress of another cannot wilfully give it
I think my good Miss Byron that I have now as far as I am present able obeyed all your commands that concern the unhappy Clementina and her family I will defer if you please those which relate to Olivia and Mrs Beaumont Ladies of very different characters from each other having several Letters to write
Permit me my good Ladies and my Lord after contributing so much to afflict your worthy hearts to refer you for relief under all the destresses of life whether they affect ourselves or others to those motives that can alone give true support to a rational mind This mortal scene however perplexing is a very short one and the hour is hastening when all
the intricacies of human affairs shall be cleared up and all the sorrows that have had their foundation in virtue be changed into the highest joy When all worthy minds shall be united in the same interests the same happiness
Allow me to be my good Miss Byron and you my Lord and Lady L and Miss Grandison
Your most faithful and obedient Servant AMBROSE BARTLETT
Excellent Dr Bartlett How worthy of himself is this advice But think you not my Lucy that the doctor has in it a particular view to your poor Harriet A generous one meaning consolation and instruction to her I will endeavour to profit by it Let me have your prayers my dear friends that I may be enabled to succeed in my humble endeavours
It will be no wonder to us now that Sir Charles was not solicitous to make known a situation so embarrassing to himself and so much involved in clouds and uncertainty But whatever may be the event of this affair you Lucy and all my friends will hardly over know me by any other name than that of
HARRIET BYRON
END of the THIRD VOLUME
THE HISTORY OF Sir CHARLES GRANDISON IN A SERIES of LETTERS Published from the ORIGINALS By the Editor of PAMELA and CLARISSA
In SEVEN VOLUMES
VOL IV
LONDON Printed by S RICHARDSON AND DUBLIN Reprinted and sold by the Booksellers M DCC LIII
THE HISTORY OF Sir CHARLES GRANDISON Bart
Friday March 31
_YOU now my dear friends have before you this affecting story as far as Dr Bartlett can give it My cousins express a good deal of concern for your Harriet So does Miss Grandison So do my Lord and Lady L And the more as I seem to carry off the matter with assumed bravery This their kind concern for me looks however as if they thought me an hypocrite and I suppose therefore that I act my part very aukwardly
But my dear as this case is one of those few in which a woman can shew a bravery of spirit I think an endeavour after it is laudable and the rather as in my conduct I aim at giving a tacit example to Miss Jervois
The doctor has whisperd to me that Lady Olivia is actually on her way to England and that the intelligence Sir Charles received of her intention was one of the things that disturbed him as the news of his beloved Signor Jeronymos dangerous condition was another
Lady Anne S it seems has not yet given up her hopes of Sir Charles The two sisters who once favoured her above all the women they knew have not been able to bring themselves to acquaint a Lady of her rank merit and fortune that there can be no hopes and they are still more loth to say that their brother thinks themselves under some obligation to a foreign lady Yet you know that this was always what we were afraid of But who now will say afraid that knows the merit of Clementina
I wish methinks that this man were proud vain arrogant and a boaster How easily then might one throw off ones shackles
Lord G is very diligent in his court to Miss Grandison His father and aunt are to visit her this afternoon She behaves whimsically to my Lord Yet I cannot think that she greatly dislikes him
The Earl of D and the Countess Dowager are both in town The Countess made a visit to my cousin Reeves last Tuesday She spoke of me very kindly She says that my Lord has heard so much of me that he is very desirous of seeing me But she was pleased to say that since my heart was not disengaged she should be afraid of the consequences of his visit to himself
My grandmamma tho she was so kindly fond of me would not suffer me to live with her because she thought that her contemplative temper might influence mine and make me grave at a time of life when she is always saying that chearfulness is most becoming She would therefore turn over her girl to the best of aunts But now I fancy she will allow
me to be more than two days in a week her attendant My uncle Selby will be glad to spare me I shall not be able to bear a jest And then what shall I be good for
I have made a fine hand of coming to town he says And so I have But if my heart is not quite so easy as it was it is I hope a better at least not a worse heart than I brought up with me Could I only have admired this man my excursion would not have been unhappy But this gratitude this entangling with all its painful consequences—But let me say with my grandmamma the man is Sir Charles Grandison The very man by whose virtues a Clementina was attracted Upon my word my dear unhappy as she is I rank her with the first of women
I have not had a great deal of Sir Charles Grandisons company but yet more I am afraid than I shall ever have again Very true—O heart the most way ward of hearts sigh if thou wilt
You have seen how little he was with us when we were absolutely in his reach and when he as we thought was in ours But such a man cannot ought not to be engrossed by one family Bless me Lucy when he comes into public life for has not his Country a superior claim to him beyond every private one what moment can he have at liberty Let me enumerate some of his present engagements that we know of
The Danby family must have some farther portion of his time
The executorship in the disposal of the 3000l in charity in France as well as in England will take up a good deal more
My Lord W may be said to be under his tutelage as to the future happiness of his life
Miss Jervoiss affairs and the care he has for her person engage much of his attention
He is his own steward
He is making alterations at Grandisonhall and has a large genteel neighbourhood there who long to
have him reside among them and he himself is fond of that seat
His estate in Ireland is in a prosperous way from the works he set on foot there when he was on the spot and he talks as Dr Bartlett has hinted to us of making another visit to it
His sisters match with Lord G is one of his cares
He has services to perform for his friend Beauchamp with his father and motherinlaw for the facilitating his coming over
The apprehended visit of Olivia gives him disturbance
And the Bologna family in its various branches and more especially Signor Jeronymos dangerous state of health and Signora Clementinas disorderd mind—O Lucy—What leisure has this man to be in love—Yet how can I say so when he is in love already And with Clementina—And dont you think that when he goes to France on the executorship account he will make a visit to Bologna—Ah my dear to be sure he will
After he has left England therefore which I suppose he will quickly do and when I am in Northamptonshire what opportunities will your Harriet have to see him except she can obtain as a favour the power of obliging his Emily in her request to be with her Then Lucy he may on his return to England once a year or so on his visiting his ward see and thank for her care and love of his Emily his halfestranged Harriet—Perhaps Lady Clementina Grandison will be with him God restore her Surely I shall be capable if she be Lady Grandison of rejoicing in her recovery—
Fie upon it—Why this involuntary tear You will see it by the large blot it has made if I did not mention it
Excellent man Dr Bartlett has just been telling
me of a morning visit he received before he went out of town from the two sons of Mrs Oldham
One of them is about seven years old the other about five very fine children He embraced them the doctor says with as much tenderness as if they were children of his own mother He enquired into their inclinations behaviour diversions and engaged equally their love and reverence
He told them that if they were good he would love them and said he had a dear friend whom he reverenced as his father a man with white curling locks he told the children that they might know him at first sight who would nowandthen as he happened to be in town make enquiries after their good behaviour and reward them as they gave him cause Accordingly he had desired Dr Bartlett to give them occasionally his countenance as also to let their mother know that she should be glad of a visit from her and her three children on his return to town
The doctor had been to see her when he came to me He found all three with her The two younger impressed by the venerable description Sir Charles had given of him voluntarily the younger by the elders example fell down on their knees before him and begged his blessing
Mr Oldham is about eighteen years of age a wellinclined well educated youth He was full of acknowlegements of the favour done him in his invitatation
The grateful mother could not contain herself Blessings without number she invoked on her benefactor for his goodness in taking such kind notice of her two sons as he had done and said he had been ever since his gracious behaviour to her in Essex the first and last in her prayers to heaven But the invitation to herself she declared was too great an honour for her to accept of She should not be able to stand in his
presence Alas Sir said she can the severest truest penitence recall the guilty past
The doctor said That Sir Charles Grandison ever made it a rule with him to raise the dejected and humbled spirit Your birth and education madam intitle you to a place in the first company And where there are two lights in which the behaviour of any person may be set tho there has been unhappiness he always remembers the most favourable and forgets the other I would advise you madam as he has invited you by all means to come He speaks with pleasure of your humility and good sense
The doctor told me that Sir Charles had made enquiries after the marriage of Major OHara with Mrs Jervois and had satisfied himself that they were actually man and wife Methinks I am glad for Miss Jervoiss sake that her mother has changed her name They lived not happily together since their last enterprize For the man who had long been a sufferer from poverty was in fear of losing one half at least of his wifes annuity by what passed on that occasion and accused her of putting them upon the misbehaviour he was guilty of which had brought upon him he said the resentments of a man admired by all the world
The attorney who visited Sir Charles from these people at their request waited on him again in their names with hopes that they should not suffer in their annuity and expressing their concern for having offended him
Mrs OHara also requested it as a favour to see her daughter
Sir Charles commissioned the attorney who is a man of repute to tell them that if Mrs OHara would come to St Jamess Square next Wednesday about five oclock Miss Jervois should be introduced to her and she should be welcome to bring with her her husband and Captain Salmonet that they might be convinced he bore no illwill to either of them
Adieu till byandby Miss Grandison is come in one of her usual hurries to oblige me to be present at the visit to be made her this afternoon by the Earl of G and Lady Gertrude his sister a maiden lady advanced in years who is exceedingly fond of her nephew and intends to make him heir of her large fortune
Friday Night
THE Earl is an agreeable man Lady Gertrude is a very agreeable woman They saw Miss Grandison with the young Lords eyes and were better pleased with her as I told her afterwards than I should have been or then they would had they known her as well as I do She doubted not she answered me but I should find fault with her and yet she was as good as for her life she could be
Such an archness in every motion Such a turn of the eye to me on my Lord Gs assiduities Such a fear in him of her correcting glance Such an halftimid halffree parade when he had done any-thing that he intended to be obliging and nowandthen an aiming at raillery as if he was not very much afraid of her and dared to speak his mind even to her On her part on those occasions such an air as if she had a learner before her and was ready to rap his knuckles had nobody been present to mediate for him that tho I could not but love her for her very archness yet in my mind I could for their sakes but more for her own have severely chidden her
She is a charming woman and everything she says and does becomes her But I am so much afraid of what may be the case when the lover is changed into the husband that I wish to myself nowandthen when I see her so lively that she would remember that there was once such a man as Captain Anderson But she makes it a rule she says to remember nothing that will vex her
Is not my memory said she once given me for my
benefit and shall I make it my torment No Harriet I will leave that to be done by you wise ones and see what you will get by it
Why this Charlotte replied I the wife ones may have a chance to get by it—They will very probably by remembring past mistakes avoid many inconveniencies into which forgetfulness will run you lively ones
Well well returned she we are not all of us born to equal honour Some of us are to be set up for warnings some for examples And the first are generally of greater use to the world than the other
Now Charlotte said I do you destroy the force of your own argument Can the person who is singled out for the warning be near so happy as she that is set up for the example
You are right as far as I know Harriet But I obey the present impulse and try to find an excuse afterwards for what that puts me upon And all the difference in this as to the reward I have a joy You a comfort But comfort is a poor word and I cant bear it
So Biddy in the Tender Husband would have said Charlotte But poor as the word is with you and her give me comfort rather than joy if they must be separated But I see not but that a woman of my Charlottes happy turn may have both
She tapped my cheek—Take that Harriet for making a Biddy of me I believe if you have not joy you have comfort in your severity
My heart as well as my cheek glowed at the praises the Earl and the Lady both joined in with a fervor that was creditable to their own hearts of Sir Charles Grandison while they told us what this man and hat woman of quality or consideration said of him Who would not be good What is life without reputation Do we not wish to be remembered with honour after death And what a share of it has this excellent man in his life—May nothing for the honoursake
of human nature to which he is so great an ornament ever happen to tarnish it
They made me an hundred fine compliments I could not but be pleased at standing well in their opinion But believe me my dear I did not enjoy their praises of me as I did those they gave him Indeed I had the presumption from the approbation given to what they said of him by my own heart to imagine myself a sharer in them tho not in his merits Oh Lucy ought there not to have been a relation between us since what I have said from what I found in myself on hearing him praised is a demonstration of a regard for him superior to the love of self?
Adieu my Lucy I know I have all your prayers
Adieu my Dear
Sat April 1
DR Bartlett is one of the kindest as well as best of men I believe he loves me as if I were his own child But good men must be affectionate men He received but this morning a letter from Sir Charles and hastened to communicate some of its contents to me tho I could pretend to no other motive but curiosity for wishing to be acquainted with the proceedings of his patron
Sir Charles dined as he had intended with Sir Hargrave and his friends He complains in his letter of a riotous day
Yet I think adds he it has led me into some useful reflexions It is not indeed agreeable to be the spectator of riot but how easy to ••un being a partaker in it How easy to avoid the too freely circling glass if a man is known to have established a rule to himself from which he will not depart and if it be not refused sullenly but mirth and good humour
the more studiously kept up by the person who would else indeed be looked upon as a spy on unguarded folly I heartily pitied a young man who I dare say has a good heart but from false shame durst not assert the freedom that every Englishman would claim a right to in almost every other instance He had once put by the glass and excused himself on account of his health but on being laughed at for a sober dog as they phrased it and asked if his spouse had not lectured him before he came out he gave way to the wretched raillery Nor could I interfere at such a noisy moment with effect They had laughed him out of his caution before I could be heard and I left him there at nine oclock trying with Bagenhall which should drink the deepest
I wish my good Dr Bartlett you would throw together some serious considerations on this subject You could touch it delicately and such a discourse would not be unuseful to some few of our neighbours even at Grandisonhall What is it that in this single article men sacrifice to false shame and false glory Reason health fortune personal elegance the peace and order of their families and all the comfort and honour of their afteryears How peevish how wretched is the decline of a man worn out with intemperance In a cool hour resolutions might be formed that should stand the attack of a boisterous jest
I obtained leave from Dr Bartlett to transcribe this part of the letter I thought my uncle would be pleased with it
It was near ten at night before Sir Charles got to Lord Ws tho but three miles from Sir Hargraves My Lord rejoiced to see him and after first compliments asked him if he had thought of what he had undertaken for him Sir Charles told him that he was the more desirous of seeing him in his way to
the Hall because he wanted to know if his Lordship held his mind as to marriage He assured him he did and would sign and seal to whatever he should stipulate for him
I wished for a copy of this part of Sir Charless letter for the sake of my aunt whose delicacy would I thought be charmed with it He has been so good as to say he would transcribe it for me I will inlose it Lucy and you will read it here
I cannot my Lord said Sir Charles engage that the Lady will comply with the proposal I shall take the liberty to make to her mother and her She is not more than three or four and thirty She is handsome She has a fine understanding She is brought up an oeconomist She is a woman of good family She has not however tho born to happier prospects a fortune worthy of your Lordships acceptance Whatever that is your Lordship will perhaps choose to give it to her family
With all my heart and soul nephew But do you say she is handsome Do you say she is of family And has she so many good qualities—Ah nephew She wont have me I doubt—And is she not too young Sir Charles to think of such a poor decrepit soul as I am
All I can say to this my Lord is that the proposals on your part must be the more generous—
I will leave all those matters to you kinsman—
This my Lord I will take upon me to answer for That she is a woman of principle She will not give your Lordship her hand if she thinks she cannot make you a wife worthy of your utmost kindness And now my Lord I will tell you who she is that you may make what other enquiries you think proper
And then I named her to him and gave him pretty near the account of the family and the circumstances
and affairs of it that I shall byandby give you tho you are not quite a stranger to the unhappy case
My Lord was in raptures He knew something be said of the Ladys father and enough of the family by hearsay to confirm all I had said of them and besought me to do my utmost to bring the affair to a speedy conclusion
Sir Thomas Mansfield was a very good man and much respected in his neighbourhood He was once possessed of a large estate but his father left him involved in a law-suit to support his title to more than one half of it
After it had been depending several years it was at last to the deep regret of all who knew him by the ehicanery of the lawyers of the opposite side and the remissness of his own carried against him and his expences having been very great in supporting for years his possession he found himself reduced from an estate of near three thousand pounds a year to little more than five hundred He had six children Four sons and two daughters His eldest son died of grief in two months after the loss of the cause The second now the eldest is a melancholy man The third is a cornet of horse The fourth is unprovided for but all three are men of worthy minds and deserve better fortune
The daughters are remarkable for their piety patience good oeconomy and prudence They are the most dutiful of children and most affectionate of sisters They were for three years the support of their fathers spirits and have always been the consolation of their mother They lost their father about four years ago And it is even edifying to observe▪ how elegantly they support the family reputation in their fine old mansion house by the prudent management of their little income for the matter leaves every houshold care to them and they make it a rule to conclude the year with discharging every demand that
can be made upon them and to commence the new year absolutely clear of the world and with some cash in hand yet were brought up in affluence and to the expectation of handsome fortunes for besides that they could have no thought of losing their cause they had very great and reasonable prospects from Mr Calvert an uncle by their mothers side who was rich in money and had besides an estate in land of 1500 l a year He always declared that for the sake of his sisters children he would continue a single man and kept his word till he was upwards of seventy when being very infirm in health and defective even to dotage in his understanding Bolton his steward who had always stood in the way of his inclination to have his eldest niece for his companion and manager at lest contrived to get him married to a young creature under twenty one of the servants in the house who brought him a child in seven months and was with child again at the old mans death which happened in eighteen months after his marriage And then a will was provided in which he gave all he had to his wife and her children born and to be born within a year after his demise This steward and woman now live together as man and wife
A worthy clergyman who hoped it might be in my power to procure them redress either in the one case or in the other gave me the above particulars and upon enquiry finding everything to be as represented I made myself acquainted with the widow Lady and her sons And it was impossible to see them at their own house and not respect the daughters for their amiable qualities
I desired them when I was last down to put into my hands their titles deeds and papers which they have done and they have been laid before counsel who gi•e a very hopeful account of them
Being fully authorizd by my Lord I took leave of him overnight and set out early in the morning directly
for Mansfieldhouse I arrived there soon after their breakfast was over and was received by Lady Mansfield her sons who happened to be all at home and her two daughters with politeness
After some general conversation I took Lady Mansfield aside and making an apology for my freedom asked her If Miss Mansfield were to her knowlege engaged in her affections
She answered she was sure she was not Ah Sir said she a man of your observation must know that the daughters of a decayed family of some note in the world do not easily get husbands Men of great fortunes look higher Men of small must look out for wives to enlarge them and men of genteel businesses are afraid of young women better born than portioned Everybody knows not that my girls can bend to their condition and they must be contented to live single all their lives and so they will choose to do rather than not marry creditably and with some prospect
I then opened my mind fully to her She was agreeably surprised But who Sir said she would expect such a proposal from the next heir to Lord W
I made known to her how much in earnest I was in this proposal as well for my Lords sake as for the young Ladys I will take care madam said I that Miss Mansfield if she will consent to make Lord W happy shall have very handsome settlements and such an allowance for pinmoney as shall enable her to gratify every moderate every reasonable wish of her heart
Was it possible she asked for such an affair to be brought about Would my Lord—There she stopt
I said I would be answerable for him And desired her to break the matter to her daughter directly
I left Lady Mansfield and joined the brothers who were with their two sisters and soon after Miss Mansfield was sent for by her mother
After they had been a little while together my Lady Mansfield sent to speak with me They were both silent when I came in The mother was at a loss what to say The daughter was in still greater confusion
I addressed myself to the mother You have I perceive madam acquainted Miss Mansfield with the proposal I made to you I am fully authorized to make it Propitious be your silence There never was proceeded I a treaty of marriage set on foot that had not its conveniencies and inconveniencies My Lord is greatly afflicted with the gout There is too great a disparity in years These are the inconveniencies which are to be considered of for the lady
On the other hand if Miss Mansfield can give into the proposal she will be received by my Lord as a blessing as one whose acceptance of him will lay him under an obligation to her If this proposal could not have been made with dignity and honour to the lady it had not come from me
The conveniencies to yourselves will more properly fall under the consideration of yourselves and family One thing only I will suggest that an alliance with so rich a man as Lord W will make perhaps some people tremble who now think themselves secure
But madam to the still silent daughter let not a regard for me byass you Your family may be sure of my best services whether my proposal be received or rejected
My Lord I must deal sincerely with you has lived a life of error He thinks so himself I am earnest to have him see the difference and to have an opportunity to rejoice with him upon it
I stopt But both being still silent the mother looking on the daughter the dau hter glancing nowandthen her conscious eye on the mother If madam said I you can give your hand to Lord W I will take care that settlements shall exceed your expectation
What I have observed as well as heard of Miss Mansfields temper and goodness is the principal motive of my application to her in preference to all the women I know
But permit me to say that were your affections engaged to the lowest honest man on earth I would not wish for your favour to my Lord W And farther if madam you think you should have but the shadow of a hope to induce your compliance that my Lords death would be more agreeable to you than his life then would I not for your moralitys sake wish you to engage In a word I address myself to you Miss Mansfield as to a woman of honour and conscience If your conscience bids you doubt reject the proposal and this not only for my Lords sake but for your own
Consider if without too great a force upon your inclinations you can behave with that condescension and indulgence to a man who has hastened advancd age upon himself which I have thought from your temper I might hope
I have said a great deal because you ladies were silent and because explicitness in every case becomes the proposer Give me leave to withdraw for a few moments
I withdrew accordingly to the brothers and sister I did not think I ought to mention to them the proposal I had made It might perhaps have engaged them all in its favour as it was of such evident advantage to the whole family and that might have imposed a difficulty on the Lady that neither for her own sake nor my Lords it would have been just to lay upon her
Lady Mansfield came out to me and said I presume Sir as we are a family which misfortune as well as love has closely bound together you will allow it to be mentioned—
To the whole family madam—By all means
I wanted only first to know whether Miss Mansfields affections were disengaged And now you shall give me leave to attend Miss Mansfield I am a party for my Lord W Miss Mansfield is a party Your debates will be the more free in our absence If I find her averse believe me madam I will not endeavour to persuade her On the contrary if she declare against accepting the proposal I will be her advocate tho every one else would vote in its favour
The brothers and sister looked upon one another: I left the mother to propose it to them and stept into the inner parlour to Miss Mansfield
She was sitting with her back to the door in a meditating posture She started at my entrance
I talked of indifferent subjects in order to divert her from the important one that had taken up her whole attention
It would have been a degree of oppression to her to have entered with her upon a subject of so much consequence to her while we were alone and when her not having given a negative was to be taken as a modest affirmative
Lady Mansfield soon joined us—My dear daughter said she we are all unanimous We have agreed to leave every thing to Sir Charles Grandison And we hope you will
She was silent I will only ask you madam said I to her If you have any wish to take time to consider of the matter Do you think you sh ll be easier in your mind if you take time—She was silent
I will not at this time my good Miss Mansfield urge you farther I will make my report to Lord W and you shall be sure of his joyful approbation of the steps I have taken before your final consent shall be asked for But that I may not be employed in a doubtful cause let me be commissioned to tell my Lord that you are disengaged and that you wholly resign yourself to your mothers advice
She bowed her head
And that you madam to Lady Mansfield are not averse to enter into treaty upon this important subject
Averse Sir said the mother bowing and gratefully smiling
I will write the particulars of our conversation to Lord W and my opinion of settlements and advise him if I am not forbid to make a visit at Mansfieldhouse I stopt they were both silent If possible I will attend my Lord in his first visit I hope madam to Miss Mansfield you will not dislike him I am sure he will be charmed with you He is far from being disagreeable in his person His temper is not bad Your goodness will make him good I dare say that he will engage your gratitude and I defy a good mind to separate love from gratitude
We returned to company I had all their blessings pronounced at once as from one mouth The melancholy brother was enlivened Who knows but the consequence of this alliance may illuminate his mind I could see by the pleasure they all had in beholding him capable of joy on the occasion that they hoped it would The unhappy situation of the family affairs as it broke the heart of the eldest brother fixed a gloom on the temper of this gentleman
I was prevailed upon to dine with them In the conversation we had at and after dinner their minds opened and their characters rose upon me Lord W will be charmed with Miss Mansfield I am delighted to think that my mothers brother will be happy in the latter part of his life with a wife of so much prudence and goodness as I am sure this Lady will make him On one instance of her very obliging behaviour to me I whispered her sister Pray Miss Fanny tell Miss Mansfield but not till I am gone that she knows not the inconveniencies she is bringing upon herself I may perhaps hereafter have the boldness to look for
the same favour from my aunt that I meet with from Miss Mansfield
If my sister returned she should ever misbehave to her benefactor I will deny my relation to her
I promised to write to Lady Mansfield as soon as I heard from my Lord and parted with them followed by the blessings of them all
You will soon have another letter from me with an account of the success of my visit to Sir Harry Beauchamp and his Lady We must have our Beauchamp among us my dear friend I should rather say you must among you for I shall not be long in England He will supply to you my dear Dr Bartlett the absence it will not I hope be a long one of
Your CHARLES GRANDISON
SIR Charles I remember as the Doctor read mentions getting leave for his Beauchamp to come over who he says will supply his absence to him—But ah Lucy Who let me have the boldness to ask shall supply it to your Harriet Time my dear will do nothing for me except I could hear something very much amiss of this man
I have a great suspicion that the first part of the letter inclosed was about me The doctor looked so earnestly at me when he skipt two sides of it and as I thought with so much compassion—To be sure it was about me What would I give to know as much of his mind as Dr Bartlett knows If I thought he pitied the poor Harriet—I should scorn myself I am I will be above his pity Lucy In this believe
Your HARRIET BYRON
Sunday Night April 2
DR Bartlett has received from Sir Charles an account of what passed last Friday between him and Sir Harry and Lady Beauchamp By the doctors allowance I inclose it to you
In this Letter Lucy you will see him in a new light and as a man whom there is no resisting when he resolves to carry a point But it absolutely convinces me of what indeed I before suspected that he has not an high opinion of our Sex in general And this I will put down as a blot in his character He treats us in Lady Beauchamp as perverse humoursome babies loving power yet not knowing how to use it See him so delicate in his behaviour and address to Miss Mansfield and carry in your thoughts his gaiety and adroit management to Lady Beauchamp as in this letter and you will hardly think him the same man Could he be any-thing to me I should be more than half afraid of him Yet this may be said in his behalf—He but accommodates himself to the persons he has to deal with—He can be a man of gay wit when he pleases to descend as indeed his sister Charlotte has as often found as she has given occasion for the exercise of that talent in him—and that virtue for its own sake is his choice since had he been a freeliver he would have been a dangerous man But I will not anticipate too much Read it here if you please
Inclosed in the preceding
GrandisonHall Friday Night March 31
I Arrived at Sir Harry Beauchamps about twelve this day He and his Lady expected me from the letter which I wrote and shewed you before I left the town in which you know I acquainted Sir Harry with his sons earnest desire to throw himself at his feet and to pay his duty to his mother in England and engaged to call myself either this day or tomorrow for an answer
Sir Harry received me with great civility and even affection Lady Beauchamp said he will be with us in a moment I am afraid you will not meet with all the civility from her on the errand you are come upon that a man of Sir Charles Grandisons character deserves to meet with from all the world We have been unhappy together ever since we had your Letter I long to see my son Your friendship for him establishes him in my heart But—And then he cursed the apronstring tenure by which he said he held his peace
You will allow me Sir Harry said I to address myself in my own way to my lady You give me pleasure in letting me know that the difficulty is not with you You have indeed Sir one of the most prudent young men in the world for your son His heart is in your hand you may form it as you please
She is coming She is coming interrupted he We are all in pieces We were in the midst of a feud when you arrived If she is not civil to 〈◊〉—
In swam the lady her complexion raised displeasure in her looks to me and indignation in her air to Sir
Harry as if they had not had their contention out and she was ready to renew it
With as obliging an air as I could assume I paid my compliments to her She received them with great stiffness swelling at Sir Harry Who sidled to the door in a moody and sullen manner and then slipt out
You are Sir Charles Grandison I suppose Sir said she I never saw you before I have heard much talk of you—But pray Sir are good men always officious men Cannot they perform the obligations of friendship without discomposing families
You see me now madam in an evil moment if you are displeased with me But I am not used to the displeasure of ladies I do my utmost not to deserve it and let me tell you madam that I will not suffer you to be displeased with me
I took her halfreluctant hand and led her to a chair and seated myself in another near her
I see Sir you have your arts
She took the firescreen that hung by the side of the chimney and held it before her face now glancing at me now turning away her eye as resolved to be displeased
You come upon a hateful errand Sir I have been unhappy ever since your officious Letter came
I am sorry for it madam While you are warm with the remembrance of a past misunderstanding I will not offer to reason with you But let me madam see less discomposure in your looks I want to take my impressions of you from more placid features I am a painter madam I love to draw ladys pictures Will you have this pass for a first sitting
She knew not what to do with her anger She was loth to part with it
You are impertinent Sir Charles—Excuse me—You are impertinent—
I do excuse you Lady Beauchamp And the rather
as I am sure you do not think me so Your freedom is a mark of your favour and I thank you for it
You treat me as a child Sir—
I treat all angry people as children I love to humour them Indeed Lady Beauchamp you must not be angry with me Can I be mistaken Dont I see in your aspect the woman of sense and reason—I never blame a lady for her humoursomeness so much as in my mind I blame her mother
Sir said she I smiled She bit her lip to avoid returning a smile
Her character my dear friend is not you know that of an illtemperd woman tho haughty and a lover of power
I have heard much of you Sir Charles Grandison But I am quite mistaken in you I expected to see a grave formal young man his prim mouth set in plaits But you are a joker and a free man a very free man I do assure you
I would be thought decently free madam but not impertinent I see with pleasure a returning smile O that ladies knew how much smiles become their features—Very few causes can justify a womans anger—Your sex madam was given to delight not to torment us
Torment you Sir Pray has Sir Harry—
Sir Harry cannot look pleased when his Lady is displeased I saw that you were madam the moment I beheld you I hope I am not an un welcome visitor to Sir Harry for one hour I intend to stay no longer that he received me with so disturbed a countenance and has now withdrawn himself as if to avoid me
To tell you the truth Sir Harry and I have had a dispute But he always speaks of Sir Charles Grandison with pleasure
Is he not offended with me madam for the contents of the Letter—
No Sir and I suppose you hardly think he is—But I am—
Dear madam let me beg your interest in favour of the contents of it
She took fire—rose up—
I besought her patience—Why should you wish to keep abroad a young man who is a credit to his family and who ought to be if he is not the joy of his father Let him owe to your generosity madam that recall which he sollicits It will become your character He cannot be always kept abroad Be it your own generous work—
What Sir—Pray Sir—With an angry brow—
You must not be angry with me madam—I took her hand—You cant be angry in earnest—
Sir Charles Grandison—You are—She withdrew her hand you are repeated she—and seemed ready to call names—
I am the Grandison you call me and I honour the maternal character You must permit me to honour you madam
I wonder Sir—
I will not be denied The world reports misunderstandings between you and Mr Beauchamp That busy world that will be meddling knows your power and his dependence You must not let it charge you with an ill use of that power If you do you will have its blame when you might have its praise He will have its pity
What Sir do you think your fine Letters and smooth words will avail in favour of a young fellow who has treated me with disrespect
You are misinformed madam—I am willing to have a greater dependence upon your Justice upon your good nature than upon any-thing I can urge either by letter or speech Dont let it be said that you are not to be prevailed on—A woman not to be
prevailed on to join in an act of justice of kindness for the honour of the sex let it not be said
Honour of the sex Sir—Fine talking—Dont I know that were I to consent to h•s comi g over the first thing would be to have his annuity augmented out of my fortune He and his father would be in a party against me Am I not already a sufferer thro him in his fathers love—You dont know Sir what has passed between Sir Harry and me within this halfhour—But dont talk to me I wont hear of it The young man hates me I hate him And ever will
She made a motion to go
With a respectful air I told her she must not leave me My motive deservd not I said that both she and Sir Harry should leave me in displeasure
You know but too well resumed she how acceptable your officiousness I must call it so is to Sir Harry
And does Sir Harry madam favour his sons suit You rejoice me Let not Mr Beauchamp know that he does And do you my dear Lady Beauchamp take the whole merit of it to yourself How will he revere you for your Goodness to him And what an obligation if as you say Sir Harry is inclined to favour him will you by your generous first motion lay upon Sir Harry
Obligation upon Sir Harry Yes Sir Charles Grandison I have laid too many obligations already upon him for his gratitude
Lay this one more You own you have had a misunderstanding this morning Sir Harry is withdrawn I suppose with his heart full Let me I beseech you make up the misunderstanding I have been happy in this way—Thus we will order it—We will desire him to walk in I will beg your interest with him in favour of the contents of the letter I sent His compliance will follow as an act of obligingness to you The grace of the action will be yours I will
be answerable for Mr Beauchamps gratitude—Dear madam hesitate not The young gentleman must come over one day Let the favour of its being an early one be owing entirely to you
You are a strange man Sir I dont like you at all You would persuade me out of my reason
Let us madam as Mr Beauchamp and I are already the dearest of friends begin a family understanding Let St Jamess Square and Berkley Square when you come to town be a nextdoor neighbourhood Give me the consideration of being the bondsman for the duty of Mr Beauchamp to you as well as to his father
She was silent But looked vexed and irresolute
My sisters madam are amiable women You will be pleased with them Lord L is a man worthy of Sir Harrys acquaintance We shall want nothing if you would think so but Mr Beauchamps presence among us
What I suppose you design your maiden sister for the young fellow—But if you do Sir you must ask me for—There she stopt
Indeed I do not He is not at present disposed to marry He never will without his fathers approbation and let me say—yours My sister is addressed to by Lord G and I hope will soon be married to him
And do you say so Sir Charles Grandison—Why then you are a more disinterested man than I thought you in this application to Sir Harry I had no doubt but the young fellow was to be brought over to marry Miss Grandison and that he was to be made worthy of her at my expence
She enjoyed as it seemed by her manner of pronouncing the words young fellow that designed contempt which was a tacit confession of the consequence he once was of to her
I do assure you madam that I know not his heart if he has at present any thoughts of marriage
She seemed pleased at this assurance
I repeated my wishes that she would take to herself the merit of allowing Mr Beauchamp to return to his native country And that she would let me see her hand in Sir Harrys before I left them
And pray Sir as to his place of residence were he to come Do you think he should live under the same roof with me
You shall govern that point madam as you approve or disapprove of his behaviour to you
His behaviour to me Sir—One house cannot shall not hold him and me
I think madam that you should direct in this article I hope after a little while so to order my affairs as constantly to reside in England I should think myself very happy if I could prevail upon Mr Beauchamp to live with me
But I must see him I suppose
Not madam unless you shall think it right for the sake of the worlds opinion that you should
I cant consent—
You can madam You do—I cannot allow Lady Beauchamp to be one of those women who having insisted upon a wrong point can be convinced yet not know how to recede with a grace—Be so kind to yourself as to let Sir Harry know that you think it right for Mr Beauchamp to return but that it must be upon your own conditions Then madam make those conditions generous ones and how will Sir Harry adore you How will Mr Beauchamp revere you How shall I esteem you
What a strange impertinent have I before me
I love to be called names by a lady If undeservedly she lays herself by them under obligation to me which she cannot be generous if she resolves not to repay Shall I endeavour to find out Sir Harry Or will you madam
Was you ever Sir Charles Grandison denied by any Woman to whom you sued for favour
I think madam I hardly ever was But it was because I never sued for a favour that it was not for a ladys honour to grant This is the case now and this makes me determine that I will not be denied the grant of my present request Come come madam How can a woman of your ladyships good sense taking her hand and leading her to the door seem to want to be persuaded to do a thing she knows in her heart to be right Let us find Sir Harry
Strange man—Unhand me—He has usd me unkindly—
Overcome him then by your generosity But dear Lady Beauchamp taking both her hands and smiling confidently in her face I could my dear Dr Bartlett do so to Lady Beauchamp will you make me believe that a woman of your spirit you have a charming spirit Lady Beacuhamp did not give Sir Harry as much reason to complain as he gave you—I am sure by his disturbed countenance—
Now Sir Charles Grandison you are downright affronting Unhand me—
This misunderstanding is owing to my officious letter I should have waited on you in person I should from the first have put it in your power to do a graceful and obliging thing I ask your pardon I am not used to make differences between man and wife
I touched first one hand then the other of the perverse baby with my lips—Now am I forgiven Now is my friend Beauchamp permitted to return to his native country Now are Sir Harry and his Lady reconciled—Come come madam it must be so—What foolish things are the quarrels of married people—They must come to an agreement again and the sooner the better before hard blows are struck that will leave marks—Let us dear madam find out Sir Harry—
And then with an air of vivacity that women whether in courtship or out of it dislike not I was leading her once more to the door and as I intended to Sir Harry where ever he could be found
Hold hold Sir resisting but with features far more placid than she had suffered to be before visible—If I must be compelled—You are a strange man Sir Charles Grandison—If I must be compelled to see Sir Harry—But you are a strange man—And she rang the bell
Lady Beauchamp Dr Bartlett is one of those who would be more ready to forgive an innocent freedom than to be gratified by a profound respect otherwise I had not treated her with so little ceremony Such women are formidable only to those who are afraid of their anger or who make it a serious thing
But when the servant appeared she not knowing how to condescend I said Go to your Master Sir and tell him that your Lady requests the favour—Requests the favour repeated she but in a low voice Which was no bad sign
The servant went with a message worded with more civility than perhaps he was used to carry to his master from his lady
Now dear Lady Beauchamp for your own sake for Sir Harrys sake make happy and be happy Are there not dear madam unhappinesses enow in life that we must wilfully add to them
Sir Harry came in fight He stalked towards us with a parade like that of a young officer wanting to look martial at the head of his company
Could I have seen him before he enterd my work would have been easier But his hostile air disposed my Lady to renew hostilities
She turned her face aside then her person and the cloudy indignation with which she entered at first again overspread her features Ought wrath Dr
Bartlett to be so ready to attend a female will—Surely thought I my Ladys present airs after what has passed between her and me can be only owing to the fear of making a precedent and being thought too easily persuaded
Sir Harry said I addressing myself to him I have obtained Lady Beauchamps pardon for the officious Letter—
Pardon Sir Charles Grandison You are a good man and it was kindly intended—
He was going on Anger from his eyes flashed upon his cheekbones and made them shine My Ladys eyes struck fire at Sir Harry and shewed that she was not afraid of him
Better intended than done interrupted I since my Lady tells me that it was the occasion of a misunderstanding—But Sir all will be right My Lady assures me that you are not disinclined to comply with the contents and she has the goodness—
Pray Sir Charles interrupted the Lady—
To give me hopes that she—
Pray Sir Charles—
Will use her interest to confirm you in your favourable Sentiments—
Sir Harry cleared up at once—May I hope madam—And offered to take her hand
She withdrew it with an air O Dr Bartlett I must have been thought an unpolite husband had she been my wife
I took her hand Excuse this freedom Sir Harry—For heavens sake madam whispering Do what I know you will do with a grace—Shall there be a misunderstanding and the husband court a refused hand—I then forcd her half unwillig hand into his with an air that I intended should have both freedom and respect in it
What a man have we got here Sir Harry This cannot be the modest man that you have praised to
me—I thought a good man must of necessity be bashful if not sheepish And here your visitor is the boldest man in England
The righteous Lady Beauchamp said Sir Harry with an aspect but half conceding is hold as a lion
And must I be compelled thus and by such a man to forgive you Sir Harry—Indeed you were very unkind
And you Lady Beauchamp were very cruel
I did not think Sir when I laid my fortune at your feet—
O Lady Beauchamp You said cutting things▪ Very cutting things
And did not you Sir Harry say It should be so—so very peremptorily
Not madam till you as peremptorily—
A little recrimination thought I there must be to keep each in countenance on their past folly
Ah Sir Charles—You may rejoice that you are not married said Sir Harry
Dear Sir Harry said I we must bear with Ladies They are meek good creatures—They—
Meek Sir Charles repeated Sir Harry with an halfangry smile and shrugging as if his shoulder had been hurt with his wifes meekness—I say meek
Now Sir Charles Grandison said my Lady with an air of threatening—
I was desirous either of turning the Ladys displeasure into a jest or of diverting it from the first object in order to make her play with it till she had lost it
Women are of gentle natures pursued I and being accustomed to be humoured opposition sits not easy upon them Are they not kind to us Sir Harry when they allow of our superiority by expecting us to bear with their pretty perversenesses
O Sir Charles Grandison said my Lady both her hands lifted up
Let us be contented proceeded I with such their kind acknowlegements and in pity to them and in compliment to ourselves bear with their foibles—See n adam I ever was an advocate for the Ladies
Sir Charles I have no patience with you—
What can a poor Woman do continued I when opposed She can only be a little violent in words and when she has said as much as she chuses to say be perhaps a little sullen For my part were I so happy as to call a woman mine and she happened to be in the wrong I would endeavour to be in the right and trust to her good sense to recover her temper Arguments only beget arguments—Those reconciliations are the most durable in which the Lady makes the advances
What doctrine is this Sir Charles You are not the man I took you for—I believe in my conscience that you are not near so good a man as the world reports you
What madam because I pretend to know a little of the sex Surely Lady Beauchamp a man of common penetration may see to the bottom of a womans heart A cunning woman cannot hide it A good woman will not You are not madam such Mysteries as some of us think you Whenever you know your own minds we need not be long doubtful That is all the difficulty And I will vindicate you as to that—
As how pray Sir—
Women madam were designed to be dependent as well as gentle creatures and of consequence when left to their own wills they know not what to resolve upon
I was hoping Sir Charles just now that you would stay to dinner But if you talk at this rate I believe I shall be ready to wish you out of the house
Sir Harry looked as if he were halfwilling to be diverted at what passed between his lady and me
It was better for me to say what he could not but subscribe to by his feeling than for him to say it Tho reproof seldom amends a determined spirit such a one as this ladys yet a man who suffers by it cannot but have some joy when he hears his sentiments spoken by a bystander This freedom of mine seemed to save the married pair a good deal of recrimination
You remind me madam that I must be gone rising and looking at my watch
You must not leave us Sir Charles said Sir Harry
I beg excuse Sir Harry—Yours also madam smiling—Lady Beauchamp must not twice wish me out of the house
I will not excuse you Sir replyd she—If you have a desire to see the matter compleated—She stopt—You must stay to dinner be that as it will
Be that as it will madam—You shall not recede
Recede I have not yet complied—
O these women They are so used to courtship that they know not how to do right things without it—And pardon me madam not always with it
Bold man—Have I consented—
Have you not madam given a Ladys consent That we men expect not to be very explicit very gracious—It is from such non negative consents that we men make silence answer all we wish
I leave Sir Charles Grandison to manage this point said Sir Harry In my conscience I think the common observation just A standerby sees more of the game than he that plays
It ever will be so Sir Harry—But I will tell you My Lady and I have as good as agreed the matter—
I have agreed to nothing Sir Harry—
Hush madam—I am doing you credit—Lady Beauchamp speaks aside sometimes Sir Harry You are not to hear any-thing she says that you dont like
Then I am afraid I must stop my ears for eight hours out of twelve
That was aside Lady Beauchamp—You are not to hear that
To sit like a fool and hear myself abused—A pretty figure I make Sir Charles Grandison let me tell you that you are the first man that ever treated me like a fool
Excuse madam a little innocent raillery—I met you both with a discomposure on your countenances I was the occasion of it by the letter I sent to Sir Harry I will not leave you discomposed I think you a woman of sense; and my request is of such a nature that the granting of it will confirm to me that you are so—But you have granted it—
I have not
Thats charmingly said—My Lady will not undervalue the compliment she is inclined to make you Sir Harry The moment you ask for her compliance she will not refuse to your affection what she makes a difficulty to grant to the entreaty of an almost stanger
Let it let it be so Lady Beauchamp said Sir Harry And he clasped his arms about her as she sat—
There never was such a man as this Sir Charles Grandison in the World—It is a contrivance between you Sir Harry—
Dear Lady Beauchamp resumed I depreciate not your compliment to Sir Harry There wanted not contrivance I dare to hope if there did it had it not to induce Lady Beauchamp to do a right a kind an obliging thing
Let me my dearest Lady Beauchamp said Sir Harry—Let me request—
At your request Sir Harry—But not at Sir Charless
This is noble said I I thank you madam for the absent youth Both Husband and son will think themselves favoured by you and the more as I am
sure that you will by the chearful welcome which you will give the young man shew that it is a sincere compliment that you have made to Sir Harry
This man has a strange way of flattering one into acts of—of—what shall I call them—But Sir Harry Mr Beauchamp must not I believe live with us—
Sir Harry hesitated
I was afraid of opening the wound I have a request to make to you both said I It is this That Mr Beauchamp may be permitted to live with me and attend you madam and his father as a visitor at your own command My sister I believe will be very soon married to Lord G
That is to be certainly so interrupted the Lady
It is madam
But what shall we say, my dear resumd Sir Harry—Dont fly out again—As to the provision for my son—Two hundred a year—What is two hundred a year—
Why then let it be three▪ answered she
I have an handsome and improveable estate▪ said I I have no demands but those of reason upon me I would not offer a plea for his coming to England and I am sure he would not have come if I had without his fathers consent In which madam he hoped for yours You shall not Sir allow him either the two or three hundred a year See him with love with indulgence he will deserve both and think not of any thing else for my Beauchamp
There is no bearing this my dear said Sir Harry leaning upon his Ladys shoulder as be sat tears in his eyes—My son is already as I have heard greatly obliged to this his true friend—Do you do you madam answer for me and for yourself
She was overcome Yet pride had its share with generosity You are said she the Grandison I have heard of But I will not be under obligations to you—not pecuniary ones however No Sir Harry Recal
your son I will trust to your love Do for him what you please Let him be independent on this insolent man She said this with a smile that made it obligeing and if we are to be visitors friends neighbours let it be on an equal foot and let him have nothing to reproach us with
I was agreeably surprised at this emanation shall I call it of goodness She is really not a bad woman but a perverse one In short one of those whose passions when rightly touched are liable to sudden and surprising turn—
Generous charming Lady Beauchamp said I Now are you the woman whom I have so often heard praised for many good qualities Now will the portrait be a just one
Sir Harry was in raptures but had like to have spoiled all by making me a compliment on the force of example
Be this said I the result—Mr Beauchamp comes over He will be pleased with whatever you do At your feet madam he shall acknowlege your favour My home shall be his if you permit it On me he shall confer obligations from you he shall receive them If any considerations of family prudence there are such and very just ones restrain you from allowing him at present what your generosity would wish to do—
Lady Beauchamps colour was heightened She interrupted me—We are not Sir Charles so scanty in our fortune—
Well my dear Lady Beauchamp be all that as you will Not one retrospect of the past—
Yes Sir Charles but there shall His allowance has been lessened for some years not from considerations of family prudence—But—Well tis all at an end proceeded she—When the young man returns you Sir Harry for my sake and for the sake of this strange anaccountable creature shall pay him the whole arrear
Now my dear Lady Beauchamp said I lifting her hand to my lips permit me to give you joy All doubts and misgivings so triumphantly got over so solid a foundation laid for family harmony—What was the moment of your nuptials to this Sir Harry I congratulate you You may and I believe you have been as happy as most men but now you will be still happier
Indeed Sir Harry said she you provoked me in the morning I should not else—
Sir Harry ownd himself to blame and thus the Ladys pride was set down softly
She desired Sir Harry to write before the Day concluded the invitation of return to Mr Beauchamp and to do her all the credit in it that she might claim from the last part of the conversation but not to mention any-thing of the first
She afterwards abated a little of this right spirit by saying I think Sir Harry you need not mention anything of the arrears as I may call them—But only the future 600 l a year One would surprize him a little you know and be twice thanked—
Surprizes of such a nature as this my dear Dr Bartlett pecuniary surprizes—I dont love them—They are double taxes upon the gratitude of a worthy heart Is it not enough for a generous mind to labour under a sense of obligation—Pride vainglory must be the motive of such narrowminded benefactors A truly beneficent spirit cannot take delight in beholding the quivering lip indicating the palpitating heart in seeing the downcast countenance the uplifted hands and working muscles of a fellowcreature who but for unfortunate accidents would perhaps himself have had the will with the power of shewing a more graceful benevolence
I was so much afraid of hearing farther abatements of Lady Beauchamps goodness so willing to depart with favourable impressions of her for her own sake
and at the same time so desirous to reach the Hall that night that I got myself excused though with difficulty staying to dine and accepting of a dish of chocolate I parted with Sir Harry and my Lady both in equal good humour with themselves and me
Could you have thought my dear friend that I should have succeeded so very happily as I have done in this affair and at one meeting
I think that the father and stepmother should have the full merit with our Beauchamp of a turn so unexpected Let him not therefore ever see this letter that he may take his impression of the favour done him from that which Sir Harry will write to him
My cousin Grandison whom I hoped to find here left the Hall on Tuesday last tho he knew of my intention to be down I am sorry for it Poor Everard He has been a great while pretty good I am afraid he will get among his old acquaintance and then we shall not hear of him for some months perhaps If you see him in town try to engage him till I return I should be glad of his company to Paris if his going with me will keep him out of harms way as it is called
Saturday April 1
I HAVE had compliments sent me by many of my neighbours who had hoped I was come to reside among them They professed themselves disappointed on my acquainting them that I must go up early on Monday morning I have invited myself to their Saturday Assembly at the Bowling greenhouse
Our reverend friend Mr Dobson has been so good as to leave with me the Sermon he is to preach tomorrow on the opening of the church It is a very good discourse I have only exceptions to three or four compliments he makes to the patron in as many different places of it I doubt not but he will have the goodness to omit them
I have already looked into all that has been done in
the church and all that is doing in the house and gardens When both have had the direction and inspection of my dear Dr Bartlett need I say that nothing could have been better
HALDEN is just arrived from my Lord with a Letter which has enabled me to write to Lady Mansfield his Lordships high approbation of all our proceedings and that he intends some one early day in next week to pay to her and Miss Mansfield his personal compliments
He has left to me the article of Settlements declaring that his regard for my future interest is all that he wishes may be attended to
I have therefore written as from himself that he proposes a jointure of 1200 l a year penyrents and 400 guineas a year for her private purse and that his Lordship desires that Miss Mansfield will make a present to her sister of whatever she may be intitled to in her own right Something was mentioned to me at Mansfieldhouse of a thousand pounds left to her by a godmother
Halden being very desirous to see his future Lady I shall at his request send the Letter I have written to Lady Mansfield by him early in the morning with a line recommending him to the notice of that Lady as Lord Ws principal steward
Adieu my dear Dr Bartlett I have joy in the joy of all these good people If Providence graciously makes me instrumental to it I look upon myself but as its instrument I hope ostentation has no share in what draws on me more thanks and praises than I love to hear
Lord W has a right to be made happy by his next relation if his next relation can make him so Is he not my mothers brother Would not her enlarged soul have rejoiced on the occasion and blessed her son for an instance of duty to her paid by his disinterested
regard for her brother Who my dear Dr Bartlett is so happy yet who in some cases so unhappy as
Your CHARLES GRANDISON
Monday April 3
THE Countess of D and the Earl her son have but just left us The Countess sent last night to let my cousin Reeves know of their intended morning visit and they came together As the visit was made to my cousin I did not think myself obliged to be in waiting for them below I was therefore in my closet comforting myself with my own agreeable reflexions They were there a quarter of an hour before I was sent to
Their talk was of me I am used to recite my own praises you know and what signifies making a parade of apologies for continuing the use I dont value myself so much as I once did on peoples favourable opinions If I had a heart in my own keeping I should be glad it was thought a good one thats all Yet tho it has littlenesses in it that I knew nothing of formerly I hope it is not a bad one
My Lord D by the whole turn of the partial conversation was led to expect a very extraordinary young woman The Lady declared that she would have her talk out and hear all my two cousins were inclined to say of me before I was sent up to as I was not below when they came
I was therefore to be seen only as a subject of curiosity My Lord had declared it seems that he would not be denied an introduction to me by his mother But there were no thoughts of making any application to a girl whose heart was acknowleged
not to be her own My Lords honour would not allow of such an intention Nor ought it
His impatience however hastened the message to me The Countess met me halfway and embraced me My lovely girl how do you—My Lord said she turning to the Earl I need not say This is Miss Byron
He bowed low and made me a very high compliment but it had sense in it tho high and above my merits Girls writing of themselves on these occasions must be disclaimers you know But my dear uncle what care I now for compliments The man from whose mouth only they could be acceptable is not at liberty to make me any
The Countess engaged me in an easy general conversat on part of which turned upon Lord and Lady L Miss Grandison and Miss Jervois and how I had passed my time at Colnebrooke in this wintry season when there were so many diversions in town But said she you had a man with you who is the admiration of every man and woman where ever he goes
Is there no making an acquaintance said my Lord with Sir Charles Grandison What I hear said of him every time he is mentioned in company is enough to fire a young man with emulation I should be happy did I deserve to be thought of as a second or third man to Sir Charles Grandison
I dare say returned I your Lordships acquaintance would be highly acceptable to him He is easy of access Men of rank if men of merit must be of kindred and recognize one another the moment they meet But Sir Charles will soon leave England
The fool sighed It was you may believe involuntarily I felt myself blush and was the more silly for that
The Countess took my hand—One word with you my dear—and led me out into the next room and sitting down made me sit on the same settee with her
O that I could call you daughter began she at once and turning half round to me put one arm about me with her other hand taking one of mine and earnestly looking in my downcast face
I was silent—Ah Lucy had Lady D been the mother of Sir Charles Grandison with what pleasure could I have listened to her
You said my dear that Sir Charles Grandison will soon leave England And then you sighed—Will you be quite openhearted—May I ask you a question in hope that you will
I was silent Yet the word Yes was on my lips
You have caused it to be told me that your affections are engaged This has been a cruel blow upon us My Lord nevertheless has heard so much of you He is reall a good young man my dear that against my advice▪ I own he would have me introduce him into your company I see by his looks that he could admire you above all women He never was in love I should be sorry if he were disappointed in his first love I hope his promised prudence will be his guard if there be no prospect of his succeeding with you—She paused—I was still silent—
It will be a mark of your frankness of heart my dear if when you take my full meaning you prevent me speaking more than I need I would not oppress you my sweet love—Such a delicacy and such a frankness mingled have I never seen in young woman—But tell me my dear has Sir Charles Grandison made his addresses to you
It was a grievous question for me to answer—But why was it so my Lucy when all the hopes I ever had proceeded from my own presumption confirmed thats true, of late by his sisters partiality in my favour and when his unhappy Clementina has such a a preferable claim
What says Miss Byron
She says madam that she reveres Lady D and
will answer any questions that she puts to her however affecting—Sir Charles Grandison has not
Once I thought proceeded she that I never would make a second motion were the woman a princess who had confessed a prior love or even liking But the man is Sir Charles Grandison whom all women must esteem and the woman is Miss Byron whom all men must love Let me ask you my dear—Have you any expectation that the first of men I will call him so and the loveliest and most amiableminded of women can come together—You sighed you know when you mentioned that Sir Charles was soon to leave England and you own that he has not made addresses to you—Dont be uneasy my love—We women in these tender cases see into each others hearts from small openings—Look upon me as your mother—What say you love
Your Ladyship compliments me with delicacy and frankness—It is too hard a question if I have any of the first to answer without blushes A young woman to be supposed to have an esteem for a man who has made no declarations and whose behaviour to her is such only as shews a politeness to which he is accustomed and only the same kind of tenderness as he shews to his sister—and whom sometimes he calls sister—as if—Ah madam how can one answer
You have answered my dear and with that delicacy and frankness too▪ which make a principal part of your character If my son and he shall not be encouraged in his hopes if he sees you not mind as well as person with his mothers eyes should not be able to check himself by the apprehensions he has had reason for of being but a second man in the favour of the object of his wishes We my dear have our delicacies could you not allow him a second place in your favour that might in time as he should merit and as you should subdue your prepossessions give him a first—Hush—my dear for one moment—
Your honour your piety are my just dependence and will be his—And now speak It is to me my dear Speak your whole heart Let not any apprehended difficulty—I am a woman as well as you And prepared to indulge—
Your goodness madam and nothing else interrupted I gives me difficulty—My Lord D seems to me to be a man of merit and not a disagreeable man in his person and manners What he said of Sir Charles Grandison and of his emulation being fired by his example gave him additional merit with me He must have a good mind I wish him acquainted with Sir Charles for his own sake and for the sake of the world which might be benefited by his large power so happily directed—But as to myself I should forfeit the character of frankness of heart which your Ladyships goodness ascribes to me if I did not declare that altho I cannot and I think ought not to entertain an hope with regard to Sir Charles Grandison since there is a Lady who deserved him by severe sufferings before I knew him yet is my heart so wholly attached that I cannot think it just to give the least encouragement to any other proposal
You are an excellent young woman But my dear if Charles Grandison is engaged—your mind will it must change Few women marry their first loves Your heart—
O madam it is already a wedded heart It is wedded to his merits his merits will be always the object of my esteem I can never think of any other as I ought to think of the man to whom I give my hand
Like merits my dear as person is not the principal motive may produce like attachments My Lord D will be in your hands another Sir Charles Grandison
How good you are my dear Lady D But allow me to repeat as the strongest expression I can use because
I mean it to carry in it all the force that can be given it That my heart is already a wedded heart
You have spoken with great force God bless you my dear as I love you The matter shall take its course If my Lord should happen to be a single man some time hence and I can tell you that your excellencies will make our choice difficult and if your mind from any accident or from persuasion of friends should then have received alteration you may still be happy in each other I will therefore only thank you for that openness of heart▪ which must set free the heart of my son—Had you had the least lurking inclination to coquetry and could have taken pride in conquests he might have been an undone man—We will return to the company—But spare him my dear You must not talk much He will love you if you do too fervently for his own peace Try to be a little aukward—I am afraid for him Indeed I am O that you had never seen Sir Charles Grandison
I could not answer one word She took my hand and led me into the company
Had I been silent when my Lord directed his discourse to me or answerd only No or Yes the Countess would have thought me very vain and that I ascribed to myself the consequence she so generously gave me with respect to my Lord I therefore behaved and answered unaffectedly but avoided such a promptness of speech as would have looked like making pretensions to knowlege and opinion though some of my Lords questions were apparently designd to engage me into freedom of discourse The Countess observed me narrowly She whispered to me that she did and made me a very high compliment on my behaviour How much Lucy do I love and reverence her
My Lord was spoken too slightly of by Miss Grandison in a former conversation He is really a fine gentleman Any woman who is not engaged in her
affections may think herself very happy with him His conversation was easy and polite and he said nothing that was low or trifling Indeed Lucy I think Mr Greville and Mr Fenwick are as greatly inferior to Lord D as Lord D is to Sir Charles Grandison
At parting he requested of me to be allowed to repeat his visits
My Lord said the Countess before I could answer you must not expect a mere stiff maiden answer from Miss Byron She is above all vulgar forms She and her cousins have too much politeness and I will venture to say discernment not to be glad of your acquaintance as an acquaintance—But for the rest you must look to your heart
I shall be afraid▪ said he▪ turning to the Countess to ask your Lordship for an explanation Miss Byron I hope Sir addressing himself to Mr Reeves will not refuse me her company when I pay you my compliments Then turning to me I hope madam I shall not be punished for admiring you
My Lord D replied I will be intitled to every civility I had said more had he not snatched my hand a little too eagerly and kissed it
And thus much for the visit of the Countess of D and the Earl
DID I tell you in my former letter that Emily is with me half her time She is a most engaging young creature Her manners are so pure Her heart is so sincere and open—O Lucy you would dearly love her I wish I may be asked to carry her down with me Yet she adores her guardian But her reverence for him will not allow of the innocent familiarity in thinking of him that—I dont know what I would say But to love with an ardor that would be dangerous to ones peace one must have more tenderness than reverence for the object: Dont you think so Lucy
Miss Grandison made me one of her flying visits as she calls them soon after the Countess and my Lord went away
Mr and Mrs Reeves told her all that had been said before them by the Earl and Countess as well before I went down to them as after They could not tell her what passed between that Lady and me when she took me aside I had not had time to tell them They referred to me for that But besides that I was not in spirits and cared not to say much I was not willing to be thought by my refusal of so great an offer to seem to fasten myself upon her brother
She pitied Who but must Lady Clementina She pitied her brother also And seeing me dejected she clasped her arms about me and wet my cheek with a sisterly tear
Is it not very strange Lucy that his father should keep him so long abroad These freeliving men What absurdities are they not guilty of What misfortunes to others do they not occasion One might with the excellent Clementina ask What had Mr Grandison to do in Italy Or why if he must go abroad did he stay so long
Travelling Young men travelling I cannot my dear but think it a very nonsensical thing What can they see but the ruins of the gay once busy world of which they have read
To see a parcel of giddy boys under the direction of tutors or governors hunting after—What—Nothing or at best but ruins of ruins for the imagination aided by reflection must be lest after all to make out the greater glories which the gravedigger Time has buried too deep for discovery
And when this grand tour is completed the travelld youth returns And what is his boast Why to be able to tell perhaps his bettertaught friend who has never been out of his native country that he has seen in ruins what the other has a juster idea of from reading
And of which it is more than probable he can give a much better account than the traveiler
And are these petulant Harriet methinks Lucy you demand all the benefits that you will suppose Sir CHARLES GRANDISON has reaped from his travelling
Why no But then in turn I ask Is every traveller a Sir Charles Grandison—And does not even he confess to Dr Bartlett that he wished he had never seen Italy And may not the poor Clementina and all her family▪ for her sake▪ wish he never had
If an opportunity offers I dont know but I may ask Sir Charles Whether in his conscience he thinks that taking in every consideration relating to time expence risques of life health morals▪ this part of the fashionable education of youth of condition is such an indispensable one as some seem to suppose it If Sir Charles Grandison give it not in favour of travelling I believe it will be concluded that six parts out of eight of the little masters who are sent abroad for improvement might as well be kept at home if especially they would be orderly and let their fathers and mothers know what to do with them
O my uncle I am afraid of you But spare the poor girl She acknowleges her petulance her presumption The occasion you know and will pity her for it However neither petulance nor presumption shall make her declare as her sentiments what really are not so in her unprejudiced hours and she hopes to have her heart always open to conviction
For the present Adieu my Lucy
P S Dr Bartlett tells me that Mr Beauchamp is at Calais waiting the pleasure of his father and that Sir Harry has sent express for him as at his Ladys motion
Tuesday April 4
SIR Charles Grandison came to town last night He was so polite as to send to enquire after my health and to let Mr Reeves know that he would do himself the honour as he called it of breakfasting with him this morning Very ceremonious either for his own sake or for mine—Perhaps for both
So I am in expectation of seeing within this halfhour the noble Clementinas future—Ah Lucy
The compliment you see is to Mr Reeves—Shall I stay above and see if he will ask for me He owes me something for the emotion he gave me in Lord Ls library Very little of him since have I seen
Honour forbids me said he then Yet honour bids me—But I cannot be ungenerous selfish
—These words are still in my ear—What could he mean by them—Honour forbids me—What to explain himself He had been telling me a tender tale He had ended it What did honour forbid him to do—Yet honour bids me Why then did he not follow the dictates of honour
But I cannot be unjust—To Clementina he means Who wished him to be so—Unjust I hope not It is a diminution to your glory Sir Charles Grandison to have the word unjust in this way of speaking in your thoughts As if a good man had lain under a temptation to be unjust and had but just recollected himself
I cannot be ungenerous
To the noble Lady I suppose He must take compassion on her And did he think himself under an obligation to my forwardness to make this declaration to me as to one who wished him to be ungenerous to such a lady for my
sake—I cannot bear the thought of this Is it not as if he had said
Fond Harriet I see what you expect from me—But I must have compassion for I cannot be ungenerous to Clementina
—But what a poor word is compassion Noble Clementina I grieve for you tho the man be indeed a generous man—O defend me my better genius from wanting the compassion even of a Sir Charles Grandison
But what means he by the word selfish He cannot be selfish—I comprehend not the meaning of this word—Clementina has a very high fortune—Harriet but a very middling one He cannot be unjust ungenerous to Clementina—Nor yet selfish—This word confounds me from a man that says nothing at random
Well but breakfasttime is come while I am busy in selfdebatings I will go down that I may not seem to affect parade I will endeavour to see with indifference him that we have all been admiring and studying for this last fortnight in such a variety of lights The Christian The Hero The Friend—Ah Lucy The Lover of Clementina The generous Kinsman of Lord W The modest and delicate Benefactor of the Mansfields The free gay Raillier of Lady Beauchamp and in her of all our Sexs Foibles
But he is come While I am prating to you with my pen he is come—Why Lucy would you detain me Now must the fool go down in a kind of hurry Yet stay till she is sent for—And that is now
O LUCY I have such a conversation to relate to you—But let me lead to it
Sir Charles met me at the opening of the door He was all himself Such an unaffected modesty and politeness yet such an ease and freedom
I thought by his address that he would have taken my hand and both hands were so emulatively passive—How does he manage it to be so free in a first address yet so respectful that a princess could not blame him
After breakfast my cousins being sent for out to attend Sir John Allestree and his Niece Sir Charles and I were left alone And then with an air equally solemn and free he addressed himself to me
The last time I had the honour of being alone with my good Miss Byron I told her a very tender tale I was sure it would raise in such a heart as hers generous compassion for the noblest lady on the Continent and I presumed as my difficulties were not owing either to rashness or indiscretion that she would also pity the relator
The story did indeed affect you yet for my own sake as well as yours I referred you to Dr Bartlett for the particulars of some parts of it upon which I could not expatiate
The doctor madam has let me know the particulars which he communicated to you I remember with pain the pain I gave to your generous heart in Lord Ls study I am sure you must have suffered still more from the same compassionate goodness on the communications he made you May I madam however add a few particulars to the same subject which he then could not give you Now you have been let into so considerable a part of my story I am desirous to acquaint you and that rather than any woman in the world with all that I know myself of this arduous affair
He ceased speaking I was in tremors Sir Sir—The story I must own is a most affecting one How much is the unhappy lady to be pitied You will do me honour in acquainting me with farther particulars of it
Dr Bartlett has told you madam that the Bishop of Nocera second brother to Lady Clementina his
very lately written to me requesting that I will make one more visit to Bologna—I have the Letter You read Italian madam Shall I—Or will you—He held it to me
I took it These Lucy are the contents
The bishop acquaints him with the very melancholy way they are in The father and mother declining in their healths Signor Jeronymo worse than when Sir Charles lest them His Sister also declining in her health Yet earnest still to see him
He says That she is at present at Urbino but is soon to go to Naples to the Generals He urges him to make them one visit more yet owns that his family are not unanimous in the request But that he and Father Marescotti and the Marchioness are extremely earnest that this indulgence should be granted to the wishes of his dear Sister
He offers to meet him at his own appointment and conduct him to Bologna where he tells him his presence will rejoice every heart and procure an unanimous consent to the enterview so much desired And says that if this measure which he is sorry he has so long withstood answers not his hopes he will advise the shutting up of their Clementina in a Nunnery or to consign her to private hands where she shall be treated kindly but as persons in her unhappy circumstances are accustomed to be treated
Sir Charles then shewed me a Letter from Signor Jeronymo in which he acquaints him with the dangerous way he is in He tells him
That his life is a burden to him He wishes it was brought to its period He does not think himself in skilful hands He complains most of the wound which is in his hipjoint and which has hitherto bassled the art both of the Italian and French surgeons who have been consulted He wishes that himself and Sir Charles had been of one country he says since
the greatest felicity he now has to wish for is to yield up his life to the Giver of it in the arms of his Grandison
He mentions not one word in this melancholy Letter of his unhappy sister Which Sir Charles accounted for by supposing that she not being at Bologna they kept from him in his deplorable way everything relating to her that was likely to disturb him
He then read part of a Letter written in English by the admired Mrs Beaumont some of the contents of which were as you shall hear extremely affecting
Mrs Beaumont gives him in it an account of the situation of the unhappy young lady and excuses herself for not having done it before in answer to his request by reason of an indisposition under which she had for some time laboured which had hindered her from making the necessary enquiries
She mentions that the Lady had received no benefit from her journeyings from place to place and from her voyage from Leghorn to Naples and back again and blames her attendants who to quiet her unknown to their principals for some time kept her in expectation of seeing her Chevalier at the end of each for her more prudent Camilla she says had been hinderd by illness from attending her in several of the excursions
They had a second time at her own request put her into a Nunnery She at first was so sedate in it as gave them hopes But the novelty going off and one of the sisters to try her having officiously asked her to go with her into the parlour where she said she would be allowed to converse through the grate with a certain English gentleman her impatience on her disappointment made her more ungovernable than they had ever known her for she had been for two hours before meditating what she would say to him
For a week together she was vehemently intent upon being allowed to visit England and had engaged her cousins Sebastiano and Juliano to promise to escort her thither if she could obtain leave
Her mother brought her off this when nobody else could only by intreating her for her sake never to think of it more
The Marchioness then encouraged by this instance of her obedience took her under her own care But the young Lady going on from flight to flight and the way she was in visibly affecting the health of her indulgent mother a doctor was found who was absolutely of opinion that nothing but harsh methods would avail And in this advice Lady Sforza and her daughter Laurana and the General concurring she was told that she must prepare to go to Milan She was so earnest to be excused from going thither and to be permitted to go to Florence to Mrs Beaumont that they gave way to her entreaties and the Marquis himself accompanying her to Florence prevailed on Mrs Beaumont to take her under her care
With her she staid three weeks She was tolerably sedate in that space of time but most so when she was talking of England and of the Chevalier Grandison and his sisters with whom she wished to be acquainted She delighted to speak English and to talk of the tenderness and goodness of her tutor and of what he had said to her upon such and such a subject
At the three weeks end the General made her a visit in company of Lady Sforza and her talk being all on this subject they were both highly displeased and hinted that she was too much indulged in it and unhappily she repeating some tender passages that passed in the interview her mother had permitted her to hold with the Chevalier
the General would have it that Mr Grandison had designedly from the first sought to give himself consequence with her and expressed himself on the occasion with great violence against him
He carried his displeasure to extremity and obliged her to go away with his aunt and him that very day to her great regret and as much to the regret of Mrs Beaumont and of the Ladies her friends who tenderly loved the innocent visionary as sometimes they called her And Mrs Beaumont is sure that the gentle treatment she met with from them would in time tho perhaps slowly have greatly helped her
Mrs Beaumont then gives an account of the harsh treatment the poor young Lady met with
Sir Charles Grandison would have stopt reading here He said he could not read it to me without such a change of voice as would add to my pain as well as to his own
Tears often stole down my cheeks when I read the Letters of the Bishop and Signor Jeronymo and as Sir Charles read a part of Mrs Beaumonts Letter And I doubted not but what was to follow would make them flow Yet I said Be pleased Sir to let me read on I am not a stranger to distress I can pity others or I should not deserve pity myself
He pointed to the place and withdrew to the window
Mrs Beaumont says
That the poor mother was prevailed upon to resign her child wholly to the management of Lady Sforza and her daughter Laurana who took her with them to their Palace in Milan
The tender parent however besought them to spare all unnecessary severity which they promised But Laurana objected to Camillas attendance She was thought too indulgent and her servant Laura as a more manageable person was taken in her place
And O how cruelly as you shall hear did they treat her
Father Marescotti being obliged to visit a dying relation at Milan was desired by the Marchioness to inform himself of the way her beloved daughter was in and of the methods taken with her Lady Laurana having in her Letters boasted of both The good Father acquainted Mrs Beaumont with the following particulars
He was surprised to find a difficulty made of his seeing the Lady But insisting on it he found her to be wholly spiritless and in terror afraid to speak afraid to look before her cousin Laurana yet seeming to want to complain to him He took notice of this to Laurana—O Father said she we are in the right way I assure you When we had her first her Chevalier and an interview with him were ever in her mouth but now she is in such order that she never speaks a word of him But what asked the compassionate Father must she have suffered to be brought to this Dont you Father trouble yourself about that replied the cruel Laurana The doctors have given their opinion that some severity was necessary It is all for her good
The poor Lady expressed herself to him with earnestness after the veil a subject on which it seems they indulged her urging that the only way to secure her health of mind if it could be restored was to yield to her wishes Lady Sforza said that it was not a point that she herself would press but it was her opinion that her family sinned in opposing a divine dedication and perhaps their daughters malady might be a judgment upon them for it
The Father in his Letter to Mrs Beaumont
ascribes to Lady Sforza selfinterested motives for her conduct to Laurana envy on account of Lady
Clementinas superior qualities But nobody he says till now doubted Lauranas love of her
Father Marescotti then gives a shocking instance of the barbarous Lauranas treatment of the noble sufferer—All for her good—Wretch how my heart rises against her Her servant Laura under pretence of consessing to her Bologna Father in tears acquainted him with it It was perpetrated but the day before
When any severity was to be exercised upon the unhappy Lady Laura was always shut out of her apartment Her Lady had said something that she was to be chidden for Lady Sforza who was not altogether so severe as her daughter was not at home Laura listned in tears She heard Laurana in great wrath with Lady Clementina and threaten her—and her young Lady break out to this effect—What have I done to you Laurana to be so used—You are not the cousin Laurana you used to be You know I am not able to help myself Why do you call me crazy and frantic Laurana Vile upbraider Lucy If the Almighty has laid his upon me should I not be pitied—
It is all for your good It is all for your good Clementina You could not always have spoken so sensibly cousin
Cruel Laurana You loved me once I have no Mother as you have My Mother was a good Mother But she is gone Or I am gone I know not which
She threatned her then with the Strait Waistcoat a punishment which the unhappy Lady was always greatly terrified at Laura heard her beg and pray but Laurana coming out she was forced to retire
The poor young Lady apprehending her cruel cousins return with the threatned waistcoat and with the woman that used to be brought in when they were disposed to terrify her went down and
hid herself uuder a staircase where she was soon discovered by her cloaths which she had not been careful to draw in after her
O Lucy how I wept How insupportable to me said Sir Charles would have been my reflexions had my conscience told me that I had been the wilful cause of the noble Clementinas calamity
After I had a little recovered I read to myself the next paragraph which related
That the cruel Laurana dragged the sweet sufferer by her gown from her hiding place inveighing against her threatning her She all patient resigned her hands crossed on her bosom praying for mercy not by speech but by her eyes which however wept not And causing her to be carried up to her chamber there punished her with the Strait Waistcoat as she had threatned
Father Marescotti was greatly affected with Lauras relation as well as with what he had himself observed But on his return to Bologna dreading to acquaint her Mother for her own sake with the treatment her Clementina met with he only said he did not quite approve of it and advised her not to oppose the young Ladys being brought home if the Bishop and the General came into it But he laid the whole matter before the Bishop who wrote to the General to join with him out of hand to release their sister from her present bondage And the General meeting the Bishop on a set day at Milan for that purpose the Lady was accordingly released
A breach ensued upon it with Lady Sforza and her daughter who would have it that Clementina was much better for their management They had by terror broke her spirit and her passiveness was reckoned upon as an indication of amendment
The Marchioness being much indisposed the young Lady attended by her Camilla was carried to Naples where it is supposed she now is Poor young Lady how has she been hurried about—
But who can think of her cousin Laurana without extreme indignation
Mrs Beaumont writes that the Bishop would fain have prevailed upon his brother the General to join with him in an invitation to Sir Charles Grandison to come over as a last expedient before they locked her up either in a Nunnery or in some private house but the General would by no means come into it
He asked What was proposed to be the end of Sir Charless visit were all that was wished from it to follow in his sisters restored mind—He never he said would give his consent that she should be the wife of an English protestant
The Bishop declared that he was far from wishing her to be so But he was for leaving that to afterconsideration Could they but restore his sister to her reason that reason cooperating with her principles might answer all their hopes
He might try his expedient the General said with all his heart But he looked upon the Chevalier Grandison to be a man of art and he was sure he must have entangled his sister by methods imperceptible to her and to them but yet more efficacious to his ends than an open declaration Had he not he asked found means to fascinate Olivia and as many women as he came into company with—For his part he loved not the Chevalier He had forced him by his intrepidity to be civil to him But forced civility was but a temporary one It was his way to judge of causes by the effects And this he knew that he had lost a sister who would have been a jewel in the Crown of a prince And would not be answerable for consequences if he and Sir Charles Grandison were once more to meet be it where it would
Father Marescotti however joining as the Bishop writes with him and the Marchioness in a desire to try this expedient and being sure that the Marquis
quis and Signor Jeronymo would not be averse to it he took a resolution to write over to him as has been related
This Lucy is the state of the unhappy case as briefly and as clearly as my memory will serve to give it And what a rememberer if I may make a word is the heart—Not a circumstance escapes it
And now it remained for me to know of Sir Charles what answer he had returned
Was not my situation critical my dear Had Sir Charles asked my opinion before he had taken his resolutions I should have given it with my whole heart that he should fly to the comfort of the poor Lady But then he would have shewn a suspense unworthy of Clementina and a compliment to me which a good man so circumstanced ought not to make
My regard for him yet what a poor affected word is regard was nevertheless as strong as ever Generosity or rather justice to Clementina and that so often avowed regard to him pulled my heart two ways—I wanted to consider with myself for a few moments I was desirous to clear the conduct that I was to shew on this trying occasion as well of precipitance as of affectation and my cousin Reeves just then coming in for something she wanted I took the opportunity while he made a compliment to her to say as to both I will return immediately And withdrew
I went up to my own apartment I traversed my antechamber three or four times Harriet Byron said I to myself be not mean Hast thou not the example of a Clementina before thee Her religion and her love combating together have overturned the noble creatures reason Thou canst not be called to such a tryal But canst thou not shew that if thou wert thou couldst have acted greatly if not so greatly—Sir Charles Grandison is just He ought to prefer
to thee the excellent Clementina Priority of claim compassion for the noble sufferer merits so superior—I love him for his merits Shall I not love merits nearly as great in one of my own sex The struggle will cost thee something But go down and try to be above thyself
Down I went not displeased with myself for haveing been able to resolve upon such an effort Banishd to thy retirement to thy pillow thought I be all the girl Often have I contended for the dignity of my sex let me now be an example to myself and not unworthy in my own eyes when I come to reflect of an union could it have been effected with a man whom a Clementina looked up to with hope
My cousin withdrew when I came in Sir Charles met me at the door I hope he saw dignity in my aspect without pride
I spoke while spirit was high in me and to keep myself up to it—My heart bleeds Sir for the distresses of your Clementina Yes Lucy I said your Clementina I could not but withdraw for a few moments to contemplate her great behaviour and I most sincerely lament her distresses What that is in the power of man cannot Sir Charles Grandison do You have honoured me Sir with the title of Sister In the tenderness of that relation permit me to say that I dread the effects of the Generals petulance I feel next for you the pain that it must give to your humane heart to be once more personally present to the woes of the inimitable Clementina But I am sure you did not hesitate a moment about leaving all your friends here in England and resolving to hasten over to try at least what can be done for the noble sufferer
Had he praised me highly for this my address to him it would have looked such was the situation on both sides as if he had thought this disinterested behaviour in me an extraordinary piece of magnanimity and
selfdenial and of consequence as if he had supposed I had views upon him which he wonderd I could give up His is the most delicate of human minds
He led me to my seat and taking his by me still holding my passive hand—Ever since I have had the honour of Miss Byrons acquaintance I have considered her as one of the most excellent of women My heart demands alliance with hers and hopes to be allowed its claim tho such are the delicacies of situation that I scarcely dare to trust myself to speak upon the subject From the first I called Miss Byron my sister but she is more to me than the dearest sister and there is a more tender friendship that I aspire to hold with her whatever may be the accidents on either side to bar a farther wish And this I must hope that she will not deny me so long as it shall be consistent with her other attachments
He paused I made an effort to speak But speech was denied me My face as I felt glowed like the fire before me
My heart resumed he is ever on my lips It is tortured when I cannot speak all that is in it Professions I am not accustomed to make As I am not conscious of being unworthy of your friendship I will suppose it and farther talk to you of my affairs and engagements as that tender friendship may warrant
Sir you do me honour was all I could say
I had a letter from the faithful Camilla I hold not a correspondence with her But the treatment that her young Lady met with of which she had got some general intimations and some words that the Bishop said to her which expressed his wishes that I would make them one more visit at Bologna urged her to write begging of me for Heavens sake to go over But unless one of the family had written to me and by consent of others of it what hope had I of a welcome after I had been as often refused as I had requested while I was in Italy to be admitted to the
presence of the Lady who was so desirous of one interview more—Especially as Mrs Beaumont gave me no encouragement to go but the contrary from what she observed of the inclinations of the family
Mrs Beaumont is still of opinion as in the conclusion of the Letter before you that I should not go unless the General and the Marquis join their requests to those of the Marchioness the Bishop and Father Marescotti But I had no sooner perused the Bishops Letter than I wrote that I would most chearfully comply with his wishes But that I should be glad that I might not be under any obligation to go farther than Bologna where I might have the happiness to attend my Jeronymo as well as well as his sister
I had a little twitch at my heart Lucy I was sorry for it But my judgment was entirely with him
And now madam you will wonder that you see not any preparations for my departure All is prepared I only wait for the company of one gentleman who is settling his affairs with all expedition to go with me He is an able a skilful surgeon who has had great practice abroad and in the armies And having acquired an casy fortune is come to settle in his native country My Jeronymo expresses himself dissatisfied with his surgeons If Mr Lowther can be of service to him how happy shall I think myself And if my presence can be a means to restore the noble Clementina—But how dare I hope it—And yet I am persuaded that in her case and with such a temper of mind unused to hardship and opposition as she had been the only way to recover her would have been by complying with her in everything that her heart or head was earnestly set upon For what controul was necessary to a young Lady who never even in the height of her malady uttered a wish or thought that was contrary to her duty either to God or her parents nor yet to the honour of her name and allow me madam to say the pride of her sex
I am under an obligation to go to Paris proceeded he from the will of my late friend Mr Danby I shall stop there for a day or two only in order to put things in a way for my last hand on my return from Italy
When I am in Italy I shall perhaps be enabled to adjust two or three accounts that stand out in relation to the affairs of my Ward
This day at dinner I shall see Mrs Oldham and her sons and in the afternoon at tea Mrs OHara and her Husband and Captain Salmonet
Tomorrow I hope for the honour of your company Madam and Mr and Mrs Reeves at dinner and be so good as to engage them for the rest of the day You must not deny me because I shall want your influence upon Charlotte to make her fix Lord Gs happy day that I may be able to see their hands united before I set out As my return will be uncertain—
Ah Lucy more twitches just then—
Thursday next is the day fixed for the triple marriage of the Danbys I have promised to give Miss Danby to Mr Galliard and to dine with them and their friends at Enfield
If I can see my Lord W and Charlotte happy before I go I shall be highly gratified
It is another of my wishes to see my friend Beauchamp in England first and to leave him in possession of his fathers love and of his motherinlaws civility Dr Bartlet and he will be happy in each other I shall correspond with the doctor He greatly admires you madam and will communicate to you all you shall think worthy of your notice relating to the proceedings of a man who will always think himself honoured by your enquiries after him
Ah Lucy Sir Charles Grandison then sighed He seemed to look more than he spoke I will not promise for my heart if he treats me with more than
the tenderness of friendship If he gives me room to think that he wishes—But what can he wish He ought to be he must be Clementinas And I will endeavour to make myself happy if I can maintain the second place in his friendship And when he offers me this shall I Lucy be so little as to be displeased with the man who cannot be to me all that I had once hoped he could be—No—He shall be the same glorious creature in my eyes I will admire his goodness of heart and greatness of mind and I will think him intitled to my utmost gratitude for the protection he gave me from a man of violence and for the kindness he has already shewn me Is not friendship the basis of my Love And does he not tender me that
Nevertheless at the time do what I could I found a tear ready to start My heart was very untoward Lucy and I was guilty of a little female turn When I found the twinkling of my eyes would not disperse the too ready drop and felt it stealing down my cheek I wiped it off—The poor Emily said I—She will be grieved at parting with you Emily loves her guardian
And I love my ward I once had a thought madam of begging your protection of Emily But as I have two sisters I think she will be happy under their wings and in the protection of my good Lord L and the rather as I have no doubt of overcoming her unhappy mother by making her husbands interest a guaranty for her tolerable if not good behaviour to her child
I was glad to carry my thoughts out of myself as I may say and from my own concerns We all Sir said I look upon Mr Beauchamp as a future—
Husband for Emily madam interrupted he—It must not be at my motion My friend shall be intitled to share with me my whole estate but I will never seck to lead the choice of my WARD Let Emily some time hence find out the husband she
can be happy with Beauchamp the wife he can love Emily if I can help it shall not be the wife of any mans convenience Beauchamp is nice and I will be as nice for my WARD And the more so as I hope she herself wants not delicacy There is a cruelty in perswasion where the heart rejects the person proposed whether the urger be parent or guardian
Lord bless me thought I what a man is this
Do you expect Mr Beauchamp soon Sir
Every day madam
And is it possible Sir that you can bring all these things to bear before you leave England and go so soon
I fear nothing but Charlottes whimsies Have you madam any reason to apprehend that she is averse to an alliance with Lord G His father and aunt are very importunate for an early celebration
None at all Sir
Then I shall depend much upon yours and Lord and Lady Ls influence over her
He besought my excuse for detaining my attention so long Upon his motion to go my two cousins came in He took even a solemn leave of me and a very respectful one of them
I had kept up my spirits to their utmost stretch I besought my cousins to excuse me for a few minutes His departure from me was too solemn and I hurried up to my closet and after a few involuntary sobs a flood of tears relieved me I besought on my knees peace to the disturbed mind of the excellent Clementina calmness and resignation to my own and safety to Sir Charles And then drying my eyes at the glass I went down stairs to my cousins and on their enquiries with looks of deep concern after the occasion of my red eyes I said All is over All is over my dear cousins I cannot blame him he is all that is noble and good—I can say no more just now The particulars you shall have from my pen
I went up stairs to write And except for one half hour at dinner and another at tea I stopt not till I had done
And here quite tired uneasy vexed with myself yet hardly knowing why I lay down my pen—Take what I have written cousin Reeves If you can read it do and then dispatch it to my Lucy
But on second thoughts I will shew it to the two Ladies and Lord L before it is sent away They will be curious to know what passed in a conversation where the critical circumstances both of us were in required a delicacy which I am not sure was so well observed on my side as on his
I shall I know have their pity But let nobody who pities not the noble Clementina shew any for
HARRIET BYRON
Tuesday Night April 4
MISS Grandison came to me just as we had supped She longed she said to see me but was prevented coming before and desired to know what had passed between her brother and me this morning I gave her the Letter which I had but a little while before concluded He had owned she said that he had breakfasted with me and spoke of me to her and Lord and Lady L with an ardor that gave them pleasure She put my Letter into her bosom I may I hope Harriet—if you please madam said I
If you please madam repeated she and with that dolorous accent too my Hariet—My sister and I have been in tears this Morning Lord L had much ado to forbear Sir Charles will soon leave us
It cant be helped Charlotte Did you dine to day in St Jamess Square
No indeed—My brother had a certain tribe with him and the woman also It is very difficult I believe Harriet for good people to forbear doing sometimes more than goodness requires of them
Could you not Charlotte have sat at table with them for one hour or two
My brother did not ask me He did not expect it He gives everybody their choice you know He told me last night who were to dine with him today and supposed I would choose to dine with Lady L or with you he was so free as to say
He did us an honour which you thought too great a one But if he had asked you Charlotte—
Then I should have bridled Indeed I asked him If he did not overdo it
What was his answer
Perhaps he might—But I said he may never see Mrs Oldham again I want to inform myself of her future intentions with a view overdo it again Charlotte to make her easy and happy for life Her children are in the world I want to give her a credit that will make her remembred by them as they grow up with duty I hope I am superior to forms She is conscious I can pity her She is a gentlewoman and intitled to a place at any mans table to whom she never was a servant She never was mine
And what Miss Grandison could you say in answer asked I
What—Why I put up my lip
Ungracious girl
I cant help it That may become a man to do in such cases as this that would not a woman
Sir Charles wants not delicacy my dear said I
He must suppose that I should have sat swelling and been reserved He was right not to ask me—So be quiet Harriet—And yet perhaps you would be as tame to a husbands mistress as you seem favourable to a fathers
She then put on one of her arch looks—
The cases differ Charlotte—But do you know what passed between the generous man and the mortified woman and her children mortified as they must be by his goodness
Yes yes I had curiosity enough to ask Dr Bartlett about it all
Pray Charlotte—
Dr Bartlett is favourable to everybody sinners as well as saints—He began with praising the modesty of her dress the humility of her behaviour He said that she trembled and looked down till she was reassured by Sir Charles Such creatures have all their tricks Harriet
You Charlotte are not favourable to sinners and hardly to saints But pray proceed
Why he reassured the woman as I told you And then proceeded to ask many questions of the elder Oldham—I pitied that young fellow—to have a mother in his eye whose very tenderness to the young ones kept alive the sense of her guilt And yet what would she have been had she not been doubly tender to the innocents who were born to shame from her fault The young man acknowleged a military genius and Sir Charles told him that he would on his return from a journey he was going to take consider whether he could not do him service in the way he chose He gave him it seems a brief lecture on what he should aim to be and what avoid to qualify himself for a man of true honour and spoke very handsomely of such gentlemen of the army as are real gentlemen The young fellow continued Miss Granddison may look upon himself to be as good as provided for since my brother never gives the most distant hope that is not followed by absolute certainty the first opportunity not that offers but which he can make
He took great notice of the little boys He dilated
their hearts and set them a prating and was pleased with their prate The doctor who had never seen him before in the company of children applauded him for his vivacity and condescending talk to them The tenderest father in the world he said could not have behaved more tenderly or shewed himself more delighted with his own children than he did with those brats of Mrs Oldham
Ah Charlotte And is it out of doubt that you are the Daughter of Lady Grandison and sister of Sir Charles Grandison—Well but I believe you are—Some children take after the father some after the mother—Forgive me my dear
But I wont I have a great mind to quarrel with you Harriet
Pray dont because I could neither help nor can be sorry for what I said But pray proceed
Why he made presents to the children I dont know what they were nor could the doctor tell me I suppose very handsome ones for he has the spirit of a prince He enquired very particularly after the circumstances of the mother and was more kind to her than many people would be to their own mothers—He can account for this I suppose—tho I cannot The woman it is true is of a good family and so forth But that enhances her crime Natural children abound in the present age Keeping is fashionable Good men should not countenance such wretches—But my brother and you are charitable creatures—With all my heart child Virtue however has at least as much to say on one side of the question as on the other
When the poor children are in the world as your brother said—When the poor women are penitents true penitents—Your brothers treatment of Mrs Giffard was different He is in both instances an imitator of the Almighty an humbler of the impenitent and an encourager of those who repent
Well well He is undoubtedly a good sort of young man and Harriet you are a good sort of young woman Where much is given, much is required But I have not given me such a large quantity of charity as either of you may bo•st And how can I help it—But however the woman went away blessing and praising him and that the doctor says more with her eyes than she was able to do in words The elder youth departed in rapturous reverence The children hung about his knees on theirs The doctor will have it that it was without bidding—Perhaps so—He raised them by turns to his arms and kissed them—Why Harriet Your eyes glisten child They would ha•e run over I suppose had you been there Is it that your heart is weakened with your present situation I hope not No you are a good creature And I see that the mention of a behaviour greatly generous however slightly made will have its force upon a heart so truly benevolent as yours You must be Lady Grandison my dear Indeed you must—Well but I must be gone You dine with us tomorrow my brother says
He did ask me and desired me to engage my cousins But he repeated not the invitation when he went away
He depends upon your coming And so do we He is to t•lk to me before you it seems I cant tell about what But by his hurrying on everything it is plain he is preparing to leave us
He is madam
He is madam
And with that dejected air and mendicant voice—Speak up like a woman—The sooner he sets out if he must go the sooner he will return Come come Harriet you shall be Lady Grandison still—Ay and that sigh too These lovesick folks have a language that no body else can talk to them in And then she affectedly sighed—Is that right Harriet—She sighed again—No it is not I
never knew what a sigh was but when my father vexed my sister and that wa more for fear he should one day be as cruel to me than for her sake We can be very generous for others Harriet when we apprehend that one day we may want the same pity ourselves Our best passion my dear have their mixtures of self-love
You have drawn a picture of human nature Charlotte that I dont like
It is a likeness for all that
She arose snatched my hand hurried to the door—Be with us Harriet and cousin Reeves and cousin Reeves as soon as you can tomorrow I want to talk to you my dear to me of an hundred thousand things before dinner Remember we dine early
Away she fluttered—Happy Miss Grandison What charming spirits she has
Wednesday April 5
MISS Jervois came to me this morning by six impatient as she said to communicate good news to me I was in my closet writing I could not sleep
I have seen my mother said she and we are good friends Was she ever unkind to me madam
Dear creature said I and clasped her to my bosom you are a sweet girl Oblige me with the particulars
Let me Lucy give you as near as I can recollect the amiable young creatures words and actions on this occasion
Sit down my love said I—What When I am talking of a reconciled mother And to dear Miss Byron—No indeed
She often held out one open hand while the forefinger of the other in full action patted it as at other times both were spread with pretty wonder and delight and thus she began
Why you must know it was about six oclock yesterday afternoon that my mother and her husband and Captain Salmonet came I was told of their visit but two hours before And when the coach stopped and I at the window saw them alight I thought I should have fainted away I would have given half I was worth in the world to have been an hundred miles off
Dr Bartlett was there and received them My guardian was unexpectedly engaged in answering a Letter sent him by Lord W for which a gentleman waited But they had not been there a quarter of an hour when he entered and made apologie to them in his usual gracious manner Never the Doctor says did any body look so respectful as the Major and the Captain and they would have made apologies to my guardian for their last behaviour to him but he would not let them And my mother the doctor says from the very first behaved prettily
The moment she asked for me my guardian himself condescended to come up to me and took my hand—Was not that very good of him—My dear said he as he led me down stairs and spoke so kindly dont tremble so Am I not with you—Your mother is very calm and composed You must ask her blessing I shall ease your tender heart of every pang I shall hint to you what to do and how to behave to the gentlemen as occasions arise
He had no sooner said the words but the drawingroomdoor gave way to his hand and I was in the room with him
Down on my knees dropt I—as I now do to you But I could not speak Thus I did and she kissed my hand and bowed her face upon it And my mother raised me—You must raise me madam—Yes
just so—And she kissed me too and wept on my neck and called me pretty names and encouraged me and said she loved me as she loved her own soul—And I was encouraged
My guardian then with the air and manner of a gracious prince took my hand and presented it first to the Major then to the Captain and they each kissed my hand and spoke in my praise I cant tell how many fine things
Major said my guardian when he presented me to him you must excuse the dear childs weakness of spirits she wishes you all happiness on your nuptials She has let me know that she is very desirous to do you service for her mothers sake
The Major swore by his Soul I was an angel—Captain Salmonet said that by his Salvation I was a charming young Lady
My Mother wept—O Sir said she to my guardian And dropping down in a chair by the window not a word more could she speak
I ran to her and clasped my arms about her She wept the more I wiped her eyes with her own handkerchief I told her it went to my heart to see her cry I begged she would spare me this grief
She clasped her arms then about me and kissed my cheek and my forehead O thought I it is very good of you my dear mother
Then came my guardian to us and he kindly took my mothers hand and conducted her to the fireside and he led me and placed me by her at the teatable and he made the Major and the Captain sit down by him So much graciousness in his countenance O madam I shall be an Idolater I am afraid And he said Emily my dear you will make tea for us My sister dined abroad madam to my Mother—Yes Sir I will said I And I was as lively as a bird
But before the servants came in Let me tell you madam said he what Miss Jervois has proposed to me—They were in silent expectation
She has desired that you Major will accept from her for your mutual ease of an additional 100l a year which I shall order to be paid you quarterly during Mrs OHaras life not doubting but you will make her as happy as it is in your power to make her
My mother bowed coloured with gratitude and looked obliged
And she begs of you madam turning to my mother that you will accept as from the Major another 100l a year for pinmoney which he or which you madam will draw upon me for also quarterly if you choose not to trouble him to do it For this 100l a year must be appropriated to your sole and separate use madam and not be subject to your controul Major OHara
Good God Sir said the Major—What a wretch was I the last time I was here—There is no bearing of this
He got up and went to the window And the Captain said blessed Jesu and something else which I could not mind for I was weeping like a baby
What Sir said my mother 400l a year Do you mean so—I do madam—And Sir to be so generously paid me my 100l of it as if I received it not from my child but from my husband—Good God How you overpower me Sir What shame what remorse do you strike into my heart
And my poor mothers tears ran down as fast as mine
O madam said the dear girl to me clasping her arms about me how your tender heart is touched—It is well you were not there
Dr Bartlett came in to tea My guardian would not permit Antony who offered himself to wait Antony had been my own papas servant when my mother was not so good
Nothing but blessings nothing but looks and words of admiration and gratitude passed all the teatime
How their hearts rejoiced I warrant—Is it not a charming thing madam to make peoples hearts glad—To be sure it is How many hearts has my guardian rejoiced You must bid him be cross to me or I shall not know what to do with myself—But then if he was I should only get by myself and cry and be angry with myself and think he could not be to blame
O my love my Emily said I take care of your gratitude That drew in your true Friend
Well but how can it be helped madam Can a right heart be ungrateful Dr Bartlett says There is no such thing as true happiness in this life And is it not better to be unhappy from good men and women than from bad—Dear madam why you have often made me unhappy because of your goodness to me and because I knew that I neither could deserve nor return it
The dear prater went on—My guardian called me aside when tea was over My Emily said he—I do love he should call me his Emily—But all the world is his Emily I think Let me see what you will do with these two notes giving me two Banknotes of 25l each—Present pinmoney and cash may be wanted We will suppose that your mother has been married a quarter of a year Her pinmoney and the additional annuity may commence from the 25th of December last Let me Emily when they go away see the graceful mannner in which you will dispose of the notes And from Mr OHaras behaviour upon it we shall observe whether he is a man with whom your mother if it be not her own fault now you have made it their interest to be kind to each other may live well But the motion be all your own
How good this was I could have kissed the hand that gave me the notes if I thought it would not have looked too free
I understand you Sir said I
And when they went away pouring out their very hearts in grateful joy I addressed myself to Mr OHara Sir said I it is proper that the payment of the additional annuity should have a commencement Let it be from Christmas last Accept of the first payment from my own hands—And I gave him one 25l note And looking at my mother with a look of duty for fear he should mistake and discredit himself in the eyes of the deepest discerner in the world gave him the other
He looked upon first one then upon the other note with surprize—And then bowing to the ground to me and to my guardian he stept to my mother and presented them both to her You madam said he must speak I cannot as I ought God send me with a whole heart out of this house He hurried out and when he was in the hall wiped his eyes and sobbed like a child as one of the servants told my Anne
My mother looked upon one note as her husband had done and upon the other and lifting up her eyes embraced me—And would have said something to my guardian but he prevented her by saying—Emily will be always dutiful to you madam and respectful to Mr OHara May you be happy together
And he led her out—Was ever such a condescension He led her out to her husband who being a little recovered was just about to give some money to the servant who was retiring from the offer—Nobody said my guardian graciously smiling pays my servants but myself Mr OHara They are good people and merit my favour
And he went to the very door with my mother I could not I ran back crying for joy into the drawingroom when they went out of it I could not bear myself How could I you know madam—Captain Salmonet all the time wiped his eyes shrugged his shoulders lifted up his hands and cried out upon Jesu and once or twice he crossed himself But all
the time my guardian looked and acted as if those actions and praises were nothing to be proud of
When he came in to me I arose and threw myself at his feet but could only say Thank you Sir for your goodness to my mother He raised me He sat down by me See child said he and he took my hand My heart was sensible of the favour and throbbed with joy what it is in the power of people of fortune to do You have a great one Now your mother is married I have hopes of her They will at least keep up appearances to each other and to the world They neither of them want sense You have done an act of duty and benevolence both in one The man who would grudge them this additional 200l a year out of your fortune to make your parent happy shall not have my Emily—Shall he
Your Emily your happy Emily Sir has not cannot have a heart that is worth notice if it be not implicitly guided by you—This I said madam and it is true
And did he not said I clasp his Emily to his generous bosom when you said so
No madam that would have been too great an honour But he called me Good child And said you shall never be put to pay me an implicit regard Your own reason and he called me child again shall always be the judge of my conduct to you and direct your observances of my advice Something like this he said but in a better manner than I can say it
He calls me oftner child madam than any-thing else when we are alone together and is not quite so free I think at such times in his behaviour to me yet is vastly gracious I dont know how as when we are in company—Why is that I am sure I equally respect him at one time as at another—Do you think madam there is any-thing in the observation Is there any reason for it—I do love to study him and to find out the meaning of his very looks as well as words
Sir Charles Grandisons heart is the book of heaven—May I not study it
Study it my love while you have an opportunity But he will soon leave us He will soon leave Engalnd
So I fear And I will love and pity the poor Clementina whose heart is so much wounded and oppressed But my guardian shall be no bodys but yours I have prayed night and day the first thing and the last thing ever since I have heard of Lady Clementina that you and nobody but you may be Lady Grandison And I will continue my prayers—But will you forgive me I always conclude them with praying that you will both consent to let the poor Emily live with you
Sweet girl The poor Emily said she—I embraced her and we mingled tears both our hearts full each for the other and each perhaps for herself
She hurried away I resumed my pen—Run off what had passed almost as swift as thought I quit it to prepare to attend my cousins to St Jamess Square
Wednesday Night April 5
MISS Grandison as I told you took with her my Letter of yesterday As soon as my cousin Reeves and I entered Sir Charless house the two sisters conducted us into the drawingroom adjoining to the diningparlour and congratulated me on the high compliment their brother had made me tho in preference to themselves and his communicativeness and tender behaviour to me Lord L joined us and he having read the Letter congratulated me also—On what Lucy—Why on the possibility that if the unhappy Clementina should die or if she should be
buried for life in a nunnery or if she should be otherwise disposed of why then that your Harriet may have room given her to hope for a civil husband in Sir Charles Grandison and half a heart Is not this the sum of these humbling congratulations
Sir Charles when we came was in his Study with Mr Lowther the surgeon whom he had engaged to go abroad with him But he just came out to welcome us and then returned—He had also with him two physicians eminent for their knowlege in disorders of the head to whom he had before communicated the case of the unhappy Clementina and who brought to him in writing their opinions of the manner in which she ought to be treated according to the various symptoms of her disorder
When he joined us he told us this and said very high things at the same time in praise of the English surgeons and particularly of this gentleman And added that as nervous disorders were more frequent in England than in any country in the world he was willing to hope that the English physicians were more skilful than those of any other country in the management of persons afflicted with such maladies And as he was now invited over he was determined to furnish himself with all the means he could think of that were likely to be useful in restoring and healing friends so dear to him
Miss Grandison told him that we were all in some apprehensions on his going to Italy of that fierce and wrongheaded man the General Miss Byron said she has told us that Mrs Beaumont advises not your going over
The young Marquis della Porretta said he is hasty but he is a gallant man and loves his sister His grief on the unhappy situation they are in demands allowance It is natural in an heavy calamity to look out of ourselves for the occasion I have not any apprehensions from him or from any body else The
call upon me is a proper one The issue must be left where it ought to be left If my visit will give comfort to any one of the family I shall be rewarded If to more than one happy—And whatever be the event shall be easier in myself than I could be were I not to comply with the request of the Bishop were he only to have made it
Lord L asked Sir Charles whether he had fixed the day of his setting out
I have said he within this half hour Mr Lowther has told me that he should be ready by the beginning of next week and on Saturday sevennight I hope to be at Dover on my way
We looked upon one another. Miss Grandison told me afterwards that my colour went and came several times and that she was afraid for me My heart was indeed a little affected I believe I must not think of taking leave of him when he sets out Ah Lucy Nine days hence—Yet in less than nine days after that I shall be embraced by the tenderest relations that ever creature had to boast of
Sir Charles taking his sister aside I want said he to say a few words to you Charlotte They were about half an hour together and then returning I am encouraged to think said he that Charlotte will give her hand to Lord G She is a woman of honour and her heart must therefore go with it—I have a request to make to her before all you our common friends—The Earl of G Lady Gertrude Lord G all join in one suit It is that I may be allowed to give my sister to Lord G before I leave England
I have told you brother that it is impossible if you go away in nine or ten days time
Sir Charles particularly requested my influence I could have no doubt I said but Miss Grandison would oblige her brother
She vehemently opposed so early a day
In a most affectionate manner yet with an air of
seriousness he urged his request He said that it was very proper for him to make some dispositions of his affairs before he went abroad He should leave England with much more pleasure if he saw his Charlotte the wife of a man so worthy as Lord G Lord G said he adores you You intend to be his Resolve to oblige your brother who tho he cannot be happy himself wishes to see you so
O Sir Charles—You ruin me by your solemnity and by your goodness
The subject is not a light one I am greatly in earnest Charlotte I have many affairs on my hands My heart is in this company yet my engagements will permit me but few opportunities to enjoy it between this and Tuesday next If you deny me now I must acquiesce If you have more than punctilio to plead say you have and I will not urge you farther
And so this is the last time of asking Sir A little archly—
Not the last time of my Lord Gs—But of mine—But I will not allow you now to answer me lightly—If you can name a day before Tuesday you will greatly oblige me I will leave you to consider of it And he withdrew
Everyone then urged her to oblige her brother Lady L very particularly She told her that he was intitled to her compliance and that he had spoken to her on this subject in a still more earnest manner She should hardly be able to excuse her she said if the serious hint he had given about settling his affairs before he went abroad had not weight with her You know Charlotte continued she that he can have no motive but your good and you have told me that you intend to have Lord G and that you esteem his father his aunt and every one of his family whom you have seen and they are highly pleased with you Settlements are ready drawn That my brother told you last night Nothing is wanting but your day
I wish he was in half the hurry to be married himself
So he would be I dare say if marriage were as much in his power as it is in yours
What a duce to be married to a man in a weeks time with whom I have quarrelld every day for a fortnight past—Pride and petulance must go down by degrees sister A month at least is necessary to bring my features to such a placidness with him as to allow him to smile in my face
Your brother has hinted Charlotte said I that he loves you for your vivacity and should still more if you consulted time and occasion
He has withdrawn sister said Lord L with a resolution if you deny him to urge you no farther
I hate his peremptoriness
Has he not told you Charlotte said I and that in a manner so serious as to affect every body that there is a kind of necessity for it
I dont love this Clementina Harriet All this is owing to her
Just then a rapping at the door signified visitors and Emily ran in—Lord G the Earl and Lady Gertrude believe me
Miss Grandison changed colour A contrivance of my brothers—Ah Lord Now shall I be beset—I will be sullen that I may not be saucy
Sullen you cant be Charlotte said Lady L Bnt saucy you can Remember however my Brothers earnestness and spare Lord G before his father and aunt or you will give me and everybody pain
How can I Our last quarrel is not made up But advise him not to be either impertinent or secure
Immediately enterd Sir Charles introducing the Earl and Lady Gertrude After the first compliments Pray Sir Charles said Miss Grandison drawing him aside towards me and whispering tell me truly Did you not know of this visit
I invited them Charlotte whispered he I meant not however to surprise you If you comply you will give me great pleasure If you do not I will not be displeased with my sister
What can I do Either be less good to me Sir or less hurrying
You have sacrificed enough to female punctilio Charlotte Lord G has been a zealous courtier You have no doubt of the ardor of his passion nor of your own power Leave the day to me Let it be Tuesday next
Good heaven I cant bear you after such a—And she gasped as if for breath and he turning from her to me she went to Lady Gertrude who rising took her hand and withdrew with her into the next room
They staid out till they were told dinner was served And when they returned I thought I never saw Miss Grandison look so lovely A charming flush had overspread her cheeks a sweet consciousness in her eyes gave a female grace to her whole aspect and softened as I may say the natural Majesty of her fine features
Lord G looked delighted as if his heart were filled with happy presages The Earl seemed no less pleased
Miss Grandison was unusually thoughtful all dinnertime She gave me great joy to see her so in the hope that when the lover becomes the husband the overlively mistress will be sunk in the obliging wife—And yet now and then as the joy in my Lords heart overflowed at his lips I could observe that archness rising to her eye that makes one both love and fear her
After dinner the Earl of G and Lady Gertrude desired a conference with Sir Charles and Lady L They were not long absent when Sir Charles came in and carried out Miss Grandison to them Lord Gs complexion varied often
Sir Charles left them together and joined us We were standing and he singled me out—I hope madam said he that Charlotte may be prevailed upon for Tuesday next But I will not urge it farther
I thought that he was framing himself to say something particular to me when Lady L came in and desired him and me to step to her sister who had retired from the Earl and Lady Gertrude by consent
Ah my Harriet said she pity me my dear—Debasement is the child of pride—Then turning to Sir Charles I acknowlege myself overcome said she by your earnestness as you are so soon to leave us and by the importunities of the Earl of G Lady Gertrude and by Sister—Unprepared in mind in cloaths I am resolved to oblige the best of brothers Do you Sir dispose of me as you think fit
My sister consents Sir said Lady L for next Tuesday
Chearfully I hope If Charlotte balances whether if she took more time she should have Lord G at all let her take it Lord L in my absence will be to her all that I wish to be when she shall determine
I balance not Sir But I thought to have had a months time at least to look about me and having treated Lord G too slippantly to give him by degrees some fairer prospects of happiness with me than hitherto he has had
Sir Charles embraced her She was all his Sister he said Let the alteration now begin Lord G would rejoice in it and consider all that had passed as trials only of his love for her The obliging wife would banish from his remembrance the petulant mistress And now allow me my dear sister to present you to the Earl and Lady Gertrude
He led her in to them Lady L took my hand and led me in also—Charlotte my Lord yields to yours and Lady Gertrudes importunities Next Tuesday
will give the two families a near and tender relation to each other
The Earl saluted her in a very affectionate manner So did Lady Gertrude who afterwards run out for her nephew▪and leading him in presented him to Miss Grandison
She had just time to whisper me as he approachd her Ah Harriet now comes the worst part of the shew—He kneeled on one knee kissed her hand but was too much overjoyed to speak for Lady Gertrude had told him as she led him in that Tuesday was to be his happy day
It is impossible Lucy but Sir Charles Grandison must carry every point he sets his heart upon When he shall appear before the family of Porretta in Italy who will be able to withstand him—Is not his consequence doubled more than doubled since he was with them The man whose absence they requested they now invite to come among them They have tried every experiment to restore their Clementina He has a noble estate now in possession The fame of his goodness is gone out to distant countries O my dear All opposition must fly before him And if it be the will of heaven to restore Clementina all her friends must concur in giving her to him upon the terms he has proposed and from which having himself proposed them Sir Charles Grandison cannot recede
His heart it is evident, is at Bologna Well and so it ought to be And yet I could not forbear being sensibly touched by the following words which I overheard him say to Lord L in answer to something my Lord said to him
I am impatient to be abroad Had I not waited for Mr Lowther th• last Letters I received from Italy should have been 〈◊〉 in person
But as honour compasion love friendship still nobler than love have demands upon him let him
obey the call He has set me high in his esteem Let me be worthy of his friendship Pangs I shall occasionally feel but who that values one person above the rest of the world does not
Sir Charles as we sat at tea mentioned his cousin Grandison to Lord L It is strange my Lord said he that we hear nothing of our cousin Everard since he was seen at Whites But whenever he emerges Charlotte if I am absent receive him without reproaches Yet I should be glad that he could have rejoiced with us Must I leave England and not see him
It has been it seems the way of this unhappy man to shut himself up with some woman in private lodgings for fear his cousin should find him out and in two or three months when he has been tired of his wicked companion emerge as Sir Charles called it to notice and then seek for his cousins favour and company and live for as many more months in a state of contrition And Sir Charles in his great charity believes that till some new temptation arises he is in earnest in his penitence and hopes that in time he will see his errors
Oh Lucy What a poor creeping mean wretch is a libertine when one looks down upon him and up to such a glorious creature as Sir Charles Grandison
Sir Charles was led to talk of his engagement for tomorrow on the triple marriage in the Danby family We all gave him joy of the happy success that had rewarded his beneficient spirit with regard to that family He gave us the characters of the three couples greatly to their advantage and praised the families on both sides which were to be so closely united on the morrow not forgetting to mention k ndly honest Mr Sylvester the attorney
He told us that he should set out on Friday early for Windsor in order to attend Lord W in his first
visit to Mansfieldhouse You Lady L will have the trouble given you said he of procuring to be newset the jewels of the late Lady W for a present to the future bride My Lord shewed them to me among a great number of other valuable trinkets of his late wifes in my last return from the Hall They are rich and will do credit to his quality You my Lord L you my sisters will be charmed with your new aunt and her whole family I have joy on the happiness in prospect that will gild the latter days of my mothers brother and at the same time be a means of freeing from oppression an ancient and worthy family
Our eyes all round offered as I may say to keep in countenance each others sensibility for they all glistened There now thought I sits this princely man rejoicing every one who sees him and hears him speak But where will he be nine days hence And whose this daytwelve month
He talked with particular pleasure of the expected arrival of his Beauchamp He pleased himself that he should leave behind him a man who would delight everybody and supply to his friends his absence—What a character did he give and Dr Bartlett confirm of that amiable friend of his
How did the Earl and Lady Gertrude dwell upon all he said They prided themselves on the relation they were likely so soon to stand in to so valuable a man
In your last Letter you tell me Lucy that Mr Greville has the confidence to throw out menaces against this excellent man—Sorry wretch—How my heart rises against him—He—But no more of such an earthborn creature
Thursday Morning April 6
MISS Grandison accompanied by Miss Jervois has just left us Lady L has undertaken she says to set all hands at work to have things in tolerable order early as the day is for Tuesday next Miss Grandison would you believe it owns that she wants spirits to order any-thing. What must be the solemnity of that circumstance when near that shall make Charlotte Grandison want spirits
She withdrew with me to my apartment She threw herself into a chair Tis a folly to deny it Harriet but I am very low and very silly I dont like next Tuesday by any means
Is your objection only to the day my dear
I do not like the man
Is there any man whom you like better
I cant say that neither But this brother of mine makes me think contemptibly of all other men I would compound for a man but half so good tender kind humane polite and even chearful in affliction—O Harriet where is there such another man
Nowhere—But you dont by marriage lose on the contrary you farther engage and secure the affection of this brother You will have a goodnatured worthy man for your husband a man who loves you and you will have your brother besides
Do you think I can be happy with Lord G
I am sure you may if it be not your own fault
Thats the thing I may perhaps bear with the man but I cannot honour him
Then dont vow to honour him Dont meet him at the altar
Yet I must But I believe I think too much And
consideration is no friend to wedlock—Would to heaven that the same hour that my hand and Lord Gs were joined yours and my brothers were also united
Ah Miss Grandison If you love me try to wean me and not to encourage hopes of what never never can be
Dear creature You will be greater than Clementina and that is greater than the greatest if you can conquer a passion that overturned her reason
Do not my Charlotte make comparisons in which the conscience of your Harriet tells her she must be a sufferer There is no occasion for me to despise myself in order to hold myself inferior to Clementina
Well you are a noble creature—But the approaching Tuesday—I cannot bear to think of it
Dear Charlotte
And dear Harriet too—But the officiousness the assiduities of this trifling man are disgustful to me
You dont hate him—
Hate him—True—I dont hate him—But I have been so much accustomed to treat him like a fool that I cant help thinking him one He should not have been so tame to such a spirit as mine He should have been angry when I played upon him I have got a knack of it and shall never leave it off thats certain
Then I hope he will be angry with you I hope that he will resent your ill treatment of him
Too late too late to begin Harriet I wont take it of him now He has never let me see that his face can become two sorts of features The poor man can look sorrowful that I know full well But I shall always laugh when he attempts to look angry
You know better Charlotte You may give him so much cause for anger that you may make it habitual to him and then would be glad to see him pleased Men have an hundred ways that women
have not to divert themselves abroad when they cannot be happy at home This I have heard observed by—
By your grandmother Harriet Good old Lady In her reign it might be so but you will find that women now have as many ways to divert themselves abroad as the men Have you not observed this yourself in one of your Letters to Lucy Ah my dear We can every hour of the twentyfour be up with our monarchs if they are undutiful
But Charlotte Grandison will not cannot—
Why thats true my dear—But I shall not then be a Grandison Yet the man will have some security from my brothers goodness He is not only good himself but he makes every one related to him either from fear or shame good likewise But I think that when one week or fortnight is happily over and my spirits are got up again from the depression into which this abominable hurry puts them I could fall upon some inventions that would make everyone laugh except the person who might take it into his head that he may be a sufferer by them And who can laugh and be angry in the same moment
You should not marry Charlotte till this wicked vein of humour and raillery is stopt
I hope it will hold me till fifty
Dont say so Charlotte—Say rather that you hope it will hold you so long only as it may be thought innocent or inossensive by the man whom it will be your duty to oblige and so long as it will bring no discredit to yourself
Your servant Goody Gravity—But what must be must The man is bound to see it It will be all his own seeking He will sin with his eyes open I think he has seen enough of me to take warning All that I am concerned about is for the next week or fortnight He will be king all that time—Yet perhaps not quite all neither And I shall be his sovereign
ever after or I am mistaken What a duce shall a woman marry a man of talents not superior to her own and forget to reward herself for her condescension—But highho—Theres a sigh Harriet Were I at home I would either sing you a song or play you a tune in order to raise my own heart
She besought me then with great earnestness to give her my company till the day arrived and on the day You see said she that my brother has engagements till Monday Dear creature support comfort me—Dont you see my heart beat thro my stays—If you love me come to me tomorrow to breakfast and leave me not for the whole time—Are you not my sister and the friend of my heart I will give you a month for it upon demand Come let us go down I will ask the consent of both your cousins
She did And they with their usual goodness to me chearfully complied
Sir Charles set out this morning to attend the triple marriages drest charmingly his sister says I have made Miss Grandison promise to give me an account of such particulars as by the help of Saunders and Sir Charless own relation she can pick up All we single girls I believe are pretty attentive to such subjects as these as what one day may be our own concern
Thursday Night
UNreasonable wicked cruel Byron To expect a poor creature so near her execution to write an account of other peoples behaviour in the same tremendous circumstances The matrimonial noose has hung over my head for some time past and now it is actually fitted to my devoted neck—Almost
choaked my dear—This moment done hearing read the firsts seconds thirds fourths to near a dozen of them—Lord be merciful to us—And the villainous lawyer rearing up to me his spectaclednose as if to see how I bore it Lord G insulting me as I thought by his odious leers Lady Gertrude simpering little Emily ready to bless herself—How will the dear Harriet bear these abominable recitatives—But I am now up stairs from them all in order to recover my breath and obey my Byron
Well but what am I now to say about the Danbys Richard has made his report Sir Charles has told us some things Yet I will only give you heads Make out the rest
In the first place my Brother went to Mrs Harringtons Miss Danbys aunt She did everything but worship him She had with her two young ladies relations of her late husband dainty damsels of the city who had procured themselves to be invited that they might see the man whom they called A wonder of generosity and goodness Richard heard one of them say to the other Ah sister This is a king of a man What pity there are not many such But Harriet if there were an hundred of them we would not let one of them go into the city for a wife would we my dear
Sir Charles praised Miss Danby She was full of gratitude and of humility I suppose Meek modest and humble are qualities of which men are mighty fond in women But matrimony and a sense of obligation are equally great humblers even of spirits prouder than that of Miss Danby as your poor Charlotte can testify
The young gentlemen with the rest were to meet Sir Charles the Bride and these Ladies at St Helens I think the church is called
As if wedlock were an honour the Danby girl in respect to Sir Charles was to be first yoked He gave
her away to the son Galliard The father Galliard gave his daughter to Edward Danby But first Mr Hervey gave his niece to the elder
One of the brides I forget which fainted away another halffainted—Savd by timely salts The third poor soul wept heartily—as I suppose I shall do on Tuesday
Never surely was there such a matrimonypromoter as my brother God give me soon my revenge upon him in the same way
The procession afterwards was triumphant—Six coaches four silly souls in each and to Mr Poussins at Enfield they all drove There they found another large company My brother was all chearfulness and both men and women seemed to contend for his notice But they were much disappointed at finding he meant to leave them early in the evening
One married Lady the wife of Sir—Somebody I am very bad at remembring the names of cityknights was resolved she said since they could not have Sir Charles to open the Ball to have one dance before dinner with the handsomest man in England The music was accordingly called in and he made no scruple to oblige the company on a day so happy
Do you know Harriet that Sir Charles is supposed to be one of the finest dancers in England Remember my dear that on Tuesday—Lord help me I shall be then stupid and remember nothing you take him out yourself And then you will judge for yourself of his excellence in this science—May we not call dancing a science? If we judge by the few who perform gracefully in it I am sure we may and a difficult one too
Sir Charles it seems so much delighted everybody that they would not be denied his dancing with the bride that was so lately Galliard who was known to be a fine dancer And when he had so done he took out the other two brides in turn
O—And remember Harriet that you get somebody to call upon him to sing—You shall play—I believe I shall f•rget in that only agreeable moment of the day for you have a sweet finger my love that I am the principal fool in the play of the evening
O Harriet I—how can I in the circumstances I am in write any more about these soft souls and silly Come to me my love by day dawn and leave me not till—I dont know when Come and take my part my dear I shall hate this man He does nothing but hop skip and dance about me grin and make mouths and everybody upholds him in it Must this I hope not be the last time that I write myself to you
CHARLOTTE GRANDISON
St JamessSquare Friday Morn April 7
SIR Charles Grandison set out early this morning for Lord Ws in his way to Lady Mansfields I am here with this whimsical Charlotte
Lady L Miss Jervois myself and every female of the family or who do business for both sisters out of it are busy in some way or other preparatory to the approaching Tuesday
Miss Grandison is the only idle person I tell her she is affectedly so
The Earl has presented her in his sons name with some very rich trinkets Very valuable jewels are also bespoke by Lord G who takes Lady Ls advice in everything as one well read in the fashions New equipages are bespoke and gay ones they will be
Miss Grandison confounded me this morning by an instance of her generosity She was extremely urgent with me to accept as her third sister of her share of
her mothers jewels You may believe that I absolutely refused such a present I was angry with her and told her she had but one way of making up with me and that was that since she would be so completely set out from her Lord she would unite the two halves by presenting hers to Lady L who had refused jewels from her Lord on her marriage and who then would make an appearance occasionally as brilliant as her own
She was pleased with the hint and has actually given them unknown to anybody but me to her jeweller who is to dispose them in such figures as shall answer those she herself is to have which Lady L has not And by this contrivance which will make them in a manner useless to herself she thinks she shall oblige her sister however reluctant to accept of them
Lady Gertrude is also preparing some fine presents for her niece elect But neither the delighted approbation of the family she is entering into nor the satisfaction expressed by her own friends give the perverse Charlotte any visible joy nor procure for Lord G the distinction which she ought to think of beginning to pay him But for his part never was man so happy He would however perhaps fare better from her if he could be more moderate in the outward expression of his joy which she has taken it into her head to call an insult upon her
She does not however give the scope she did before the day was fixd to her playful captiousness She is not quite so arch as she was Thoughtfulness and a seeming carelessness of what we are all about for her appear in her countenance She saunters about and affects to be diverted by her harpsichord only What a whimsical thing is Charlotte Grandison But still she keeps Lord G at distance I told her an hour ago that she knows not how to condescend to him with that grace which is so natural to her in her whole behaviour to every body else
I have been talking to Dr Bartlett about Sir Charless journey to Italy Nobody knows he says what a bleeding heart is coverd by a countenance so benign and chearful Sir Charles Grandison said he has a prudence beyond that of most young men but he has great sensiblities
I take it for granted Sir that he will for the future be more an Italian than Englishman
Impossible madam A prudent youth by travelling reaps this advantage—From what he sees of other countries he learns to prefer his own An imprudent one the contrary Sir Charless country is endeared to him by his long absence from it Italy in particular is called The Garden of Europe but it is rather to be valued for what it was and might he than what it is I need not tell a Lady who has read and conversed as you have done to what that incomparable difference is owing Sir Charles Grandison is greatly sensible of it He loves his country with the judgment of a wise man and wants not the partiality of a patriot
But doctor he has offered you know to reside—There I stopt
True madam—And he will not recede from his offers if they are claimed But this uncertainty it is that disturbs him
I pity my patron I have often told you he is not happy What has indiscretion to expect when discretion has so much to suffer His only consolation is that he has nothing to reproach himself with Inevitable evils he bears as a man should He makes no ostentation of his piety But madam Sir Charles Grandison is a CHRISTIAN
You need not Sir say more to me to exalt him And let me add that I have no small pleasure in knowing that Clementina is a Lady of strict piety tho a Roman Catholic
And let me assure you madam that Sir Charless
regard for Miss Byron his more than regard for her why should I not say since everybody sees it is founded upon her piety and upon the amiable qualities of her mind Beauty madam is an accidental and transient good No man better knows how to distinguish between admiration and love than my patron His virtue is virtue upon full proof and against sensibilities that it is heroic to overcome Lady Olivia knows this And here I must acknowledge myself a debtor to you for three articles out of your ten I hope soon to discharge the obligation
Your own time doctor But I must say that whenever you give me Lady Olivias story I shall be pained if I find that a Clementina is considered by a beauty of an unhappier turn as her rival in the love of Sir Charles Grandison
Lady Olivia madam admires him for his virtue but she cannot as he has made it his study to do divide admiration from love What offers has she not refused—But she declares that she had rather be the friend of Sir Charles Grandison than the wife of the greatest prince on earth
This struck me Have not I said something like it But surely with innocence of heart But here the doctor suggests that Olivia has put his virtue to the proof Yet I hope not
The FRIEND Dr Bartlett—I hope that no woman who is not quite given up to dishonour will pollute the sacred word by affixing ideas to it that cannot be connected with it A Friend is one of the highest characters that one human creature can shine in to another There may be Love that tho it has no view but to honour yet even in wedlock ripens not into friendship How poor are all such attachments How much beneath the exalted notion I have of that noblest that most delicate union of souls You wonder at me Dr Bartlett Let me repeat to you Sir I have it by heart Sir Charles Grandisonss
tender of friendship to the poor Harriet Byron which has given me such exalted ideas of this disinterested passion but you must not take notice that I have I repeated those words beginning
My heart demands alliance with hers
—and ending with these—
So long as it shall be consistent with her other attachments a
The doctor was silent for a few moments At last What a delicacy is there in the mind of this excellent man Yet how consistent with the exactest truth The friendship he offers you madam is indeed friendship What you have repeated can want no explanation Yet it is expressive of his uncertain situation It is—
He stopt of a sudden
Pray doctor proceed I love to hear you talk
My good young ladymdashI may say too much Sir Charles in these nice points must be lest to himself It is impossible for anybody to express his thoughts as he can express them But let me say that he justly as well as greatly admires Miss Byron
My heart rose against myself Bold Harriet thought I how darest thou thus urge a good man to say more than he has a mind to say of the secrets of a friend which are committed to his keeping Content thyself with the hopes that the worthiest man in the world would wish to call thee his were it not for an invincible obstacle And noble thrice noble Clementina be thine the preference even in the heart of Harriet Byron because justice gives it to thee for Harriet hast thou not been taught to prefer right and justice to every other consideration And wouldst thou abhor the thought of a common theft yet steal an heart that is the property and that by the dearest purchase of another
Friday Evening
WE have had a great debate about the place in which the nuptial ceremony is to be performed Charlotte the perverse Charlotte insisted upon not going to church Lord G dared not to give his opinion tho his father and Lady Gertrude as well as every other person were against her
Lord L said that if fine ladies thought so slightly of the office as that it might be performed anywhere it would be no wonder if fine gentlemen thought still more slightly of the obligation it laid them under
Being appealed to I said that I thought of marriage as one of the most solemn acts of a womans life
And if of a womans of a mans surely interrupted Lady L If your whimsey Charlotte added she arises from modesty you reflect upon your sister and what is worse upon your mother
Charlotte put up her pretty lip and was uncomvinced
Lady Gertrude laid an heavy hand upon the affectatation yet admires her niece elect She distinguished between chambervows and churchvows She mentioned the word decency She spoke plainer on Charlottes unfeeling perverseness If a bride meant a compliment by it to the bridegroom O dear O dear said Mrs Eleanor Grandison and looked as if she thought she blushed that was another thing but then let her declare as much and that she was in an hurry to oblige him
Charlotte attempted to kill her by a look—She gave a worse to Lord G—And why whispered she
to him as he sat next her must thou shew all thy teeth man—As Lady Gertrude meant to shame her I thought I could as soon forgive that Lady as her who was the occasion of the freedom of speech
But still the was perverse She would not be married at all she said if she were not complyd with
I whispered her as I sat on the other side of her I wish Charlotte the knot were tyd Till then you will not do even right things but in a wrong manner
Dr Bartlett was not persent He was making a kind visit to my cousin Reevess When he came in the debate was referred to him He entered into it with her with so much modesty good sense propriety and steadiness that at last the perverse creature gave way But hardly would neither had he not assured her that her brother would be entirely against her and that he himself must be excused performing the sacred office but in a sacred place She has set her heart on the doctors marrying her
The Earl of G and Lady Gertrude as also Lord and Lady L went away not dissatisfied with Charlottes compliance She is the most ungraciously graceful young woman I ever knew in her compliances But Lord G was to pay for all She and I had got together in the Study In bolted Lord G perhaps with too little ceremony She coloured—Heyday Sir Who expected you His countenance immediately fell He withdrew precipitately Fie Charlotte said I recollect yourself—and rising stept to the door My Lord—calling after him
He came back but in a little ferment—I hoped I hoped madam as you were not in your own apartment that I might that I might have been—
Where ever Ladies are by themselves it is a Ladys apartment my Lord said she with an haughtiness that sat better on her features than they would upon almost any other womans
He looked as if he knew not whether he should stay or go Sit down my Lord said I we are not particularly engaged He came nearer his hat under his arm bowing to her who sat as stately as a princess on her throne But yet looked disobliged You gave yourself pretty airs my Lord—dont you
Pretty airs madam—Pretty airs—By my Soul I think madam—And with such a glow in your face madam—Taking his laced hat from under his arm and with an earnest motion swinging it backwards and forwards as unknowing what he did—
What Sir am I to be buffetted Sir—
He put his hat under his arm again—Buffeted madam—Would to heaven—
What has heaven to do with your odd ways Lord G
I beg pardon for intruding madam—But I thought—
That you had a privilege Sir—But marriage itself Sir shall not give you a privilege to break into my retirements You thought Sir—You could not think—So much the worse if you did—
If I have really offended—I will be more circumspect for the future—I beg pardon madam—Miss Byron I hope will forgive me too
He was going in great discomposure and with an air of angry humility
Charlotte whispered I—Dont be silly—
Come come now you have broke in upon us you may stay—But another time when you know me to be retired with a friend so dear to me let it enter into your head that no third person unsent for can be welcome
Poor man—How he loves her—His countenance changed at once to the humble placid He looked as if he had rather be in fault than she
Oh how little did she make him look
But he has often as well as in this instance let her see her power over him I am afraid she will use it I now see it is and will be his misfortune that she can
vex him without being vexed herself And what may he expect who can be treated with feigned displeasure which while it seems to be in earnest to him will be a jest to his wife
I was very angry with her when we were alone and told her that she would be an enemy I was afraid of her own happiness But she only laughed at me Happiness my dear said she That only is happiness which we think so If I can be as happy in my way as you can be in yours shall I not pursue it Your happiness child is in the still life I love not a dead calm Now a tempest now a refreshing breeze I shall know how to enjoy the difference—My brother will not be here to turn jest into earnest as might perhaps be the effect of his mediation—But highho Harriet that the first week were over and I had got into my throne
She ended with an Italian air contrasted with another Highho and left me for a few moments
Poor Lord G said I looking after her
She returned soon Poor Lord G repeated she Those were the piteous words you threw after me—But if I should provoke him do you think he would not give me a cuff or so—You know he cant return joke for joke and he must revenge himself some way—If that should be the case Poor Charlotte I hope you would say—
Not if you deserved it
Deserve a cuff Harriet—Well but I am afraid I shall
Remember next Tuesday Charlotte—You must vow obedience—Will you break your vow—This is not a jesting matter
True Harriet And that it is not was perhaps one of the reasons that made me disinclined to go to so solemn a place as the church with Lord G—Dont you think it one with those who insist upon being married in their own chamber
I believe great people said I think they must not do right things in the common way That seems to me to be one of their fantastic reasons But the vow is the vow Charlotte God is everywhere
Now you are so serious Harriet it is time to have done with the subject
I HAVE no sleep in my eyes and must go on What keeps me more wakeful is my real concern for this naughty Miss Grandison and my pity for Lord G for the instance I have given you of her petulance is nothing to what I have seen But I thought so near the day she would have changed her behaviour to him Surely the situation her brother is in without any fault of his own might convince her that she need not go out of her path to pick up subjects for unhappiness
Such a kittenish disposition in her I called it for it is not so much the love of power that predominates in her mind as the love of playfulness And when the fit is upon her she regards not whether it is a China cup or a cork that she pats and tosses about But her sport will certainly be the death of Lord Gs happiness Pity that Sir Charles who only has power over her is obliged to go abroad so soon But she has principles Lady Grandisons daughter Sir Charles Grandisons sister must have principles The solemnity of the occasion the office the church the altar—must strike her The vow—Will she not regard the vow she makes in circumstances so awful Could but my Lord G assume dignity and mingle raillery with it and be able to laugh with her and sometimes at her she would not make him her sport She would find somebody else A butt she must have to shoot at But I am afraid he will be too sensible of her smartness And she will have her jest let who will suffer by it
Some of the contents of your last are very agreeable to me Lucy I will begin in earnest to think
of leaving London Dont let me look silly in your eyes my dear when I come It was not so very presumptuous in me was it to hope—When all his relations—When he himself—Yet what room for hope did he could he give me He was honest and I cheated myself But then all you my dearest friends encouraged the cheat Nay pointed my wishes▪ and my hopes by yours before I had dared shall I say o• condescended to own them to myself
You may let that Greville know if your please that there is no room for his Ifs nor of consequence any for his menaces You may own that I shall soon be in Northamptonshire This may prevent his and Fenwicks threatened journey to town
But Lucy tho my heart has been ever dutifully as I may say open to the venerable domestic circle tho it would not have been an honest heart could it circumstanced as I was have concealed itself from Lady D and must have been an impenetrable one indeed if it could have been disguised to the two sisters here—yet I beseech you my dear almost on my knees I beseech you let not the audacious the insulting Greville have ground given him to suspect a weakness in your Harriet which indelicate minds know not how to judge of delicately For sexsake for examplesake Lucy let it not be known to any but the partial friendly few that our grandmamma Shirleys child and aunt Selbys niece has been a volunteer in her affections How many still more forward girls would plead Mrs Shirleys approbation of the hasty affection without considering the circumstances and the object! So the next girl that run away to a dancingmaster or an ensign would reckon herself one of Harriets school
Poor Mr Orme I am sorry he is not well It is cruel in you Lucy at this time to say so undoubtingly that his illness is owing to his love of me
You knew that such a suggestion would pain me Heaven restore Mr Orme
But I am vexd as it cannot be to purpose that Sir Charles Grandison and I have been named together and talked of in your neighbourhood—He will be gone abroad I shall return to Northamptonshire And shall look so silly So like a refused girl
Everybody gives me to him you say—So much the worse I wonder what business this everybody has to trouble itself about me
One consolation however I shall have in my return and that is in my Nancys recoverd health which was so precarious when I set out for London
But I shall have nothing to entertain you with when I am with you Sir Charles Grandison Lord and Lady L Lady G as now in three or four days she will be my dear Miss Jervois Dr Bartlett will be all my subject And have I not exhausted that by pen and ink O no The doctor promises to correspond with me and he makes no doubt but Sir Charles will correspond with him as usual
What can the unusually tender friendship be called which he professed for me and as I may say claimed in return from me I know that he has no notion of the Love called Platonic Nor have I I think it in general a dangerous allowance and with regard to our sex a very unequal one since while the man has nothing to fear the woman has everything from the privileges that may be claimed in an acknowleged confidence especially in presence Miss Grandison thus interprets what he said and strengthens her opinion by some of Dr Bartletts late intimations that he really loves me but not being at liberty to avow his love he knew not what to say and so went as near to a declaration as was possible to do in his circumstances
But might I not expect from such a profession of friendship in Sir Charles an offer of correspondence
in absence And if he made the offer ought I to decline it Would it not indicate too much on my side were I to do so—And does it not on his if he make not the offer He corresponds with Mrs Beaumont Nobody thinks that any-thing can be meant by that correspondence on either side because Mrs Beaumount must be at least forty Sir Charles but six or seven and twenty But if he makes not the request to Harriet who is but little more than twenty what after such professions of a friendship so tender will be inferred from his forbearance
But I shall puzzle myself and you too Lucy if I go on with this sort of reasoning; because I shall not know how to put all I mean into words Have I not already puzzled you I think my expression is weak and perplexed—But this offered and accepted friendship between two persons not indelicate must be perplexing since he is the only young man in the world from whom a woman has no dishonour to fear—Ah Lucy—It would be vanity in me would it not to suppose that he had more to fear from Harriet than she has from him—As the virtue of either I hope is not questionable But the event of his Italian visit will explain and reconcile everthing
I will encourage a drowsy fit that seems to be stealing upon me If I have not written with the perspicuity I always aim at allow Lucy for the time of night for spirits not high and for the subject that having its delicacies as well as uncertainties I am not able to write clearly upon it
Saturday Night April 9
SIR Charles is already returned He arrived at Windsor on Friday morning but found that Lord
W had fet out the afternoon of the day before for the house of his friend Sir Joseph Lawrance which is but fifteen miles from Mansfieldhouse
Upon this intelligence Sir Charles wanting to return to town as soon as he could followed him to the Knights And having time enough himself to reach Mansfieldhouse that night he by his uncles consent pursued his journey thither to the great joy of the family who wished for his personal introduction of my Lord to Miss Mansfield
My Lord arrived by breakfasttime unfatigued and in high spirits Staid at Mansfieldhouse all day and promised so to manage as to be in town tomorrow in order to be present at his nieces nuptials on Tuesday
As for Sir Charles he made the Mansfield family happy in his company the whole Friday evening enquiring into their affairs relating to the oppression they lay under pointing out measures for redress encouraging Miss Mansfield and informing the brothers that the Lawyers he had consulted on their deeds told him that a new trial might be hoped for the result of which probably would be a means to do them justice so powerfully protected and assisted as they would now be for new lights had broke in upon them and they wanted but to recover a deed which they understood was in the hands of two gentlemen named Hartley who were but lately returned from the Indies Thus prepared the Mansfields also were in high spirits the next morning and looked Sir Charles said on each other when they met as if they wanted to tell each other their agreeable dreams
Sir Charles in his way to Sir Joseph Lawrances had looked in upon Sir Harry Beauchamp and his Lady He found Sir Harry in high spirits expecting the arrival of his son who was actually landed from Calais having met there his Fathers letter allowing
him to return to England and wishing in his own and in Lady Beauchamps name his speedy arrival
Sir Charless impatience to see his friend permitted him only to breakfast with my Lord and the Mansfields and to know the opinion each party formed of the other on this first interview and then he set out to Sir Harry Beauchamps What an activity—Heaven reward him with the grant of his own wishes whatever they be and make him the happiest of men
My Lord is greatly taken with the Lady▪ and her whole family Well be may Sir Charles says He blessed him and called himself blessed in his sisters son for his recommendation of each to the other The Lady thinks better of him as her mother owned to Sir Charles than she thought she should from report
I begin to think Lucy that those who set out for happiness are most likely to find it when they live single till the age of fancy is over Those who marry while it lasts are often disappointed of that which they propose so largely to themselves While those who wed for convenience and deal with tolerable honesty by each other are at a greater certainty Tolerable I repeat since it seems we are not to expect that both parties will turn the best side of the old garment outward Hence arises consolation to old maidens and cautions against precipitation—Expatiate my dear on this fruitful subject I would were I at leisure
Sir Charles says that he doubts not but Lord W will be as happy a man as he wishes to be in less than a month
The duce is in this brother of mine whispered Miss Grandison to me for huddling up of marriages He dont consider that ther••ay be two chances for one 〈◊◊〉 honest 〈◊〉•n half a years time bles•••〈◊◊〉 conti•••••
Sir Charles told us that he had desired Lord W
to give out everywhere that the adversaries of the Mansfield family might know it his intended alliance and that he and his nephew were both determined to procure a retrospection of all former proceedings
Sir Charles got to Sir Harry Beauchamps a little before his friend arrived Sir Harry took him aside at his alighting and told him that Lady Beauchamp had had clouds on her brow all the day and he was afraid would not receive his son with the graciousness that once he hoped for from her But that he left him to manage with her She never said he had so high an opinion either of man or woman as she has of you
Sir Charles addressed himself to her as not doubting her goodness upon the foot of their former conversation and praised her for the graces that however appeared but faintly in her countenance till his compliments lighted them up and made them shine full out in it He told her that his sister and Lord G were to be married on the following Tuesday He himself he said should set out for Paris on Friday after but hoped to see a family intimacy begun between his sisters and Lady Beauchamp and between their Lords and Sir Harry and Mr Beauchamp He applauded her on the generosity of her intentions as declared to him in their former conference and congratulated her on the power she had of which she made so noble an use of laying at the same time an obligation on the tenderest of husbands and the most deserving of sons Whose duty to her he engaged for
All this set her in high good humour and she took to herself and bridled upon it to express myself in Charlottes manner the praises and graces this adroit manager gave her as if they were her unquestionable due
This agreeable way they were all in Sir Harry
transported with his Ladys goodness when Mr Beauchamp arrived
The young gentleman bent his knee to his stepmother as well as to his father and thanked her for the high favours his father had signified to him by Letter that he owed to her goodness She confirmed them but Sir Charles observed with an ostentation that shewed she thought very highly of her own generosity
They had a very chearful evening Not one could would hang on Lady Beauchamps brow tho once or twice it seemed a little overshadowed as Mr Beauchamp displayed qualities for which his father was too ready to admire him Sir Charles thought it necessary to caution Sir Harry on this subject putting it in this light that Lady Beauchamp loved her husband so well that she would be too likely to dread a rivalry in his affections from a son so very accomplished Sir Harry took the hint kindly
Mr Beauchamp was under a good deal of concern at Sir Charless engagements to leave England so soon after his arrival and asked his fathers leave to attend him Sir Harry declared that he could not part with him Sir Charles chid his friend and said It was not quite so handsome a return to the joyful reception he had met with from Lady Beauchamp and his father as might have been expected from his Beauchamp bowing to the Lady But she excused the young gentleman and said she wondered not that anybody who was favoured with his friendship should be unwilling to be separated from him
Sir Charles expresses great satisfaction in Mr Beauchamps being arrived before his departure that he may present to us himself a man with whom he is sure we shall all be delighted and leave him happy in that beloved society which he himself is obliged to quit
A repining temper Lucy would consider only the
hardship of meeting a longabsent friend just to feel the uneasiness of a second parting But this man views everything in a right light When his own happiness is not to be attained he lays it out of his thoughts and as I have heretofore observed rejoices in that of others It is a pleasure to see how Sir Charles seems to enjoy the love which Dr Bartlett expresses for his friend of them both
Sir Charles addressed himself to him on several occasions in so polite in so tender a manner that every One told me afterwards they are sure he loves me Dr Bartlett at the time as he sat next me whispered on the regret expressed by all on losing him so soon—Ah madam—I know and pity my patrons struggles—Struggles Lucy What could the doctor mean by this whisper to me But I hope he guesses not at mine If he does would he have whispered his pity of Sir Charles to me—Come Lucy this is some comfort however and I will endeavour to be brave upon it that I may not by my weakness lessen myself in the doctors good opinion
It was agreed for Charlotte whose assent was given in these words—
Do as you will—or rather as my brother will—What signifies opposing him
that the nuptials shall be solemnized as privately as possible at St Georges church The company is to drop in at different doors and with as few attendants as may be Lord W the Earl of G and Lady Gertrude Lord and Lady L Miss Jervois and your Harriet are to be present at the ceremony I was very earnest to be excused till Miss Grandison when we were alone dropt down on one knee and held up her hands to beg me to accompany her Mr Everard Grandison if he can be found is to be also there at Sir Charless desire
Dr Bartlett as I before hinted at her earnest request is to perform the ceremony Sir Charles wished it to be at his own Parish church But Miss
Grandison thought it too near to be private He was indifferent as to the place▪ he said—So it was at church for he had been told of the difficulty we had to get Charlotte to desist from having it performed in her chamber and seemed surprised—Fie Charlotte said be—An office so solemn—Vows to re•eive and •ay as in the Divine Presence—
She was glad she told me that she had not left that battle to be fought with him
Monday April 10
LORD W is come Lord and Lady L are here They and Miss Grandison received him with great respect He embraced his nieces in a very affectionate manner Sir Charles was absent Lord W is in person and behaviour a much more agreeable man than I expected him to be Nor is he so decrepit with the gout as I had supposed He is very careful of himself it seems This world has been kind to him and I fancy he makes a great deal of a little pain for want of stronger exercises to his patience and so is a sufferer by selfindulgence Had I not been made acquainted with his free living and with the insults he bore from Mrs Giffard with a spirit so poor and so low I should have believed I saw not only the man of quality but the man of sense, in his countenance I endeavoured however as much as I could to look upon him as the brother of the late Lady Grandison Had he been worthy of that relation how should I have reverenced him
But whatever I thought of him he was highly taken with me He particularly praised me for the modesty which he said was visible in my countenance Free livers Lucy taken with that grace in a woman which they make it their pride to destroy But all men good and bad admire modesty in a woman And I am sometimes out of humour with our sex that they do not as generally like modesty in men I am sure that this grace in Sir Charles Grandison is one of his principal glories
with me It emboldens ones heart and permits one to behave before him with ease and as I may say with security in the consciousness of a right intention
But what were Lord Ws praises of his nephew He called him The glory of his sex and of human nature How the cheeks of the dear Emily glowed at the praises given to her guardian—She was the taller for them When she moved it was on tiptoe stealing as it were cross the floor lest she should lose any-thing that was said on a subject to delightful to her
My Lord was greatly pleased with her too He complimented her as the beloved ward of the best of guardians He lamented with us the occasion that called his nephew abroad He was full of his own engagements with Miss Mansfield and declared that his nephew should guide and govern him as he pleased in every material case respecting either the conduct of his future life or the management and disposition of his estate declaring that he had made his will and reserving only his Ladys jointure and a few legacies had left everything to him—How right a thing even in policy is it my dear to be a good and a generous man
I must not forget that my Lord wished with all his soul that was his expression that he might have the honour of giving to his nephew my hand in marriage
I could feel myself blush I halfsuppressed a sigh I would have wholly suppressed it if I could I recovered the little confusion his too plainly expressed wish gave me by repeating to myself the word Clementina
This Charlotte is a great coward But I dare not tell her so for fear of a retort I believe I should be as great a one in her circumstances so few hours to one of the greatest events of ones life But I pretend not to bravery Yet hope that in the cause of virtue or honour I should be found to have a Soul
I write now at my cousins I came hither to make an alteration in my dress I have promised to be with the sweet Bully early in the morning of her important day
Tuesday Night Wednesday Morning April 11 12
MISS Grandison is no longer to be called by that name She is Lady G May she make Lord G as happy as I dare say he will make her if it be not her own fault
I was early with her according to promise I found her more affected than she was even last night with her approaching change of condition Her brother had been talking to her she said and had laid down the duties of the state she was about to enter into in such a serious manner and made the performance of them of so much importance to her happiness both here and hereafter that she was terrified at the thoughts of what she was about to undertake She had never considered matrimony in that formidable light before He had told her that he was afraid of her vivacity yet was loth to discourage her chearfulness or to say any-thing that should lower her spirits All he besought of her was to regard times tempers and occasions and then it would be impossible but her lively humour must give delight not only to the man whom she favoured with her hand but to every one who had the pleasure of approaching her If Charlotte said he you would have the world around you respect your husband you must set the example While the wife gives the least room to suspect that she despises her husband she will find that she subjects him to double contempt if he resents it not and if he does can
you be happy Aggressors lay themselves open to severe reprisals If you differ you will be apt to make bystanders judges over you They will remember when you are willing to forget and your fame will be the sport of those beneath you as well in understanding as degree
She believed she told me that Lord G had been making some complaints of her If he had—
Hush my dear said I—Not one word of threatening Are you more solicitous to conceal your fault than to mend it
No—But you know Harriet for a man before he has experienced what sort of a wife I shall make to complain against me for foibles in courtship when he can help himself if he will has something so very little—
Your conscience Charlotte tells you that he had reason for complaint and therefore you think he has complained Think the best of Lord G for your own reputations sake since you thought fit to go thus far with him You have borne nothing from him He has borne a great deal from you
I am fretful Harriet I wont be chidden I will be comforted by you You shall sooth me Are you not my sister She threw her arms round me and kissed my check
I ventured to railly her tho I was afraid of her retort and met with it But I thought it would divert her I am glad my dear said I that you are capable of this tenderness of temper You blustering girls▪—But Fear I believe will make cowards loving
Harriet said she and flung from me to the window remember this May I soon see you in the same situation I will then have no mercy upon you
THE subject which Sir Charles led to at breakfast was the three weddings of Thursday last He spoke
honourably of marriage and made some just compliments to Lord and Lady L concluding them with wishes that his sister Charlotte and Lord G might be neither more nor less happy than they were Then turning to Lord W he said He questioned not his Lordships happiness with the lady he had so lately seen for I cannot doubt said he of your Lordships affectionate gratitude to her if she behaves as I am sure she will
My Lord had tears in his eyes Never man had such a nephew as I have said he said he All the joy of my present prospects all the comforts of my future life are and will be owing to you
Here had he stopt it would have been well But turning to me he unexpectedly said Would to God madam that YOU could reward him I cannot and nobody else can
All were alarmed for me every eye was upon me A sickishness came came over my heart—I know not how to describe it My head sunk upon my bosom I could hardly sit yet was less able to rise
Sir Charless face was overspread with blushes He bowed to my Lord May the man said he who shall have the honour to call Miss Byron his be if possible as deserving as she is Then will they live together the life of angels
He gracefully looked down not at me and I got a little courage to look up Yet Lady L was concerned for me So was Lord L Emilys eye dropt a tear upon her blushing cheek
Was it not Lucy a severe trial—Indeed it was
My Lord to mend the matter lamented very pathetically that Sir Charles was under an obligation to go abroad and still more that he could not stay to be present at the celebration of his nuptials with Miss Mansfield
The Earl Lord G Lady Gertrude and the Doctor were to meet the Bride and us at church Lord and
Lady L Sir Charles and Emily went in one coach Miss Grandison and I in another
As we went I dont like this affair at all Harriet said she My brother has long made all other men indifferent to me Such an infinite difference
Can anybody be happier than Lord and Lady L Charlotte Yet Lady L admires her brother as much as you can do
They happy—And so they are But Lady L soft soul fell in love with Lord L before my brother came over So the foundation was laid And it being a first flame with her she in compliment to herself could not but persevere But the sorry creature Anderson proving a sorry creature made me despise the sex And my brothers perfections contributed to my contempt of all other men
Indeed my dear you are wrong Lord G loves you But were Sir Charles not your brother it is not very certain that he would have returned your Love
Why thats true I believe he would not in that case have chosen me I am sure he would not if he had known you But for the man one loves one can do any-thing, be everything that he would wish one to be
Do you think you cannot love Lord G—For Heavens sake Charlotte tho you are now almost within sight of the church do not think of giving your hand if you cannot resolve to make Lord G as happy as I have no doubt he will make you if it be not your own fault
What will my brother say What will—
Leave that to me I will engage Sir Charles and Dr Bartlett to lend me their ear in the vestry and I am sure your brother if he knows that you have an antipathy to Lord G or that you think you caonot be happy with him will undertake your cause and bring you off
Antipathy Thats a strong word Harriet The man is a good natured silly man—
Silly Charlotte—Silly then he must be for loving you so well who really have never yet given him an opportunity to shew his importance with you
I do pity him sometimes
The coach stopt—Ah Lord Harriet The church The church
Say Charlotte before you step out—Shall I speak to your brother and Dr Bartlett in the vestry
I shall look like a fool either way
Dont act like one Charlotte on this solemn occasion Say you will deserve that you will try to deserve Lord Gs love
Lord help me—My brother—Ill try Ill try what can be done
Sir Charles appeared He gave each his hand in turn In we flew The people began to gather about us Lord G all rapture received her at the entrance Sir Charles led me And the Earl and Lady Gertrude received us with joy in their countenances I overheard the naughty one say as Lord G led her up to the altar You dont know what you are about man I expect to have all my way Remember thats one of my articles before marriage
He returned her an answer of fond assent to her condition I am afraid thought I poor Lord G you will be more than once reminded of this previous article
When she was led to the altar and Lord G and she stood together she trembled Leave me not Harriet said the—Brother Lady L
I am sure she looked silier than Lord G at that instant
The good doctor began the office No dearly belaveds Harriet whispered she as I had said on a really terrible occasion I was offended with her in my heart Again she whispered something against the
office as the doctor proceeded to give the reasons for the institution Her levity did not forsake her even at that solemn moment
When the Service was over every one Sir Charles in a solemn and most affectionate manner wished her happy My Lord G kissed her hand with a bent knee
She took my hand Ah Lord what have I done—And am I married whispered she—And can it never be undone—And is that the man to whom I am to be obedient—Is he to be my Lord and Master
Ah Lady G said I it is a solemn office You have vowed He has vowed—It is a solemn office
Lord G led her to the first coach Sir Charles led me into the same The people to my great confusion whispered Thats the Bride What a charming couple Sir Charles handed Miss Emily next Lord G came in As he was entering Harkee friend said Charlotte and put out her hand You mistake the coach You are not of our company
The whole world replyd my Lord shall not now divide us And took his seat on the same side with Emily
The mans a rogue Harriet whispered she See He gives himself airs already
This said Lord G as the coach drove on taking one hand and eagerly kissing it is the hand that blessed me
And that said she pushing him from her with the other is the hand that repulses your forwardness What came you in here for—Dont be silly
He was in raptures all the way
When he came home everyone embraced and wished joy to the Bride The Earl and Lady Gertrude were in high spirits The Lady resaluted her niece as her dear niece The Earl recognized his beloved daughter
But prepare to hear a noble action of Lord W
When he came up to compliment her—My dearest niece said he I wish you joy with all my soul I have not been a kind uncle There is no fastening any-thing on your brother Accept of this and he put a little paper into her hand—It was a Banknote of 1000 l My sisters daughter and your brothers sister merits more than this
Was not this handsomely presented Lucy
He then in a manner becoming Lady Grandisons brother stept to Lady L My niece Charlotte is not my only niece I wish you my dear as if this was your day of marriage all happiness accept these two papers The one Lucy was a note for 1000 l and the other for 100 l And he said The lesser note is due to you for interest on the greater
When the Ladies opened their notes and saw what they were they were at first at a loss what to say
It was most gracefully done But see Lucy the example of a good and generous man can sometimes alter natures and covetous men I have heard it observed when their hearts are opend often act nobly
As soon as Lady G So now I must call her recovered herself from the surprize into which my Lords present and address had put her she went to him Allow me my Lord said she and bent one knee to him to crave your blessing and at the same time to thank you for your paternal present to your ever obliged Charlotte
God bless you my dear saluting her—But thank your noble brother You delight me with your graceful acceptance
Lady L came up My Lord you overcome me by your bounty—How shall I—
Your brothers princely spirit Lady L said he makes this present look mean Forgive me only that it was not done before And he saluted her
Lord L came up Lady L shewd him the opend
notes—See here my Lord said she what Lord W has done And he calls this the interest due on that
Your Lordship oppresses me with your goodness to your niece said Lord L May health longlife and happiness attend you in your own nuptials
There there said Lord W pointing to Sir Charles who had withdrawn and then entered make your acknowlegement His noble spirit has awakened mine It was only asleep My late sisters brother wanted but the force of such an example That son is all his mother
Sir Charles joining them having heard only the last words—If I am thought a son not unworthy of the most excellent of mothers said he and by her brother I am happy
Then you are happy replyd my Lord
Her memory resumed Sir Charles I cherish and when I have been tempted to forget myself that memory has been a means of keeping me steady in my duty Her precepts my Lord were the guide of my early youth Had I not kept them in mind how much more blameable than most young men had I been—My Charlotte Have that mother in your memory on this great change of your condition You will not be called to her tryals—His eyes glistend Tender be our remembrance of my father—Charlotte be worthy of your mother
He withdrew with an air so noble—But soon returning with a chearful look he was told what Lord W had done—Your Lordship was before said he intitled to our duty by the ties of blood But what is the relation of body to that of mind You have bound me for my sisters and that still more by the manner than by the act in a bond of gratitude that never can be broken
Thank yourself thank yourself my noble nephew
Encourage my Lord a family intimacy between your Lady and her nieces and nephews You will be delighted my sisters with Miss Mansfield but when she obliges my Lord with her hand you will reverence your aunt I shall have a pleasure when I am far distant in contemplating the family union Your Lordship must let me know your Day in time and I will be joyful upon it whatever of a contrary nature I may have to struggle with on my own account
My Lord wept—My Lord wept did I say—Not one of us had a dry eye—This was a solemn scene you will say for a weddingday But how delightfully do such scenes dilate the heart
The day however was not forgotten as a day of festivity Sir Charles himself by his vivacity and openness of countenance made every one joyful And except that nowandthen a sigh which could not be checkd stole from some of us to think that he would so soon be in another country far distant from the friends he now made happy and engaged in difficulties perhaps in dangers every heart was present to the occasion of the day
O Charlotte Dear Lady G Hitherto it is in your power to make every future day worthy of this—
Have your mother your noble mother in your memory my dear
And give credit to the approtion of such a brother
I should have told you that my cousin Reevess came about two and were received with the utmost politeness by everybody
Sir Charles was called out just before dinner and returned introducing a young gentleman dressed as if for the day—This is an earlier favour than I had hoped for said Sir Charles and leading him to Lady G This Sir is the Queen of the Day My dear Lady G welcome The house is yours—Welcome the man I love Welcome my Beauchamp
Every one except Emily and me crouded about Mr Beauchamp as Sir Charless avowedly beloved friend and bid him cordially welcome Sir Charles presented him to each by name
Then leading him to me—I am half ashamed Lucy to repeat—But take it as he spoke it—Revere said he my dear friend that excellent young Lady But let not your admiration stop at her Face and Person She has a Mind as exalted my Beauchamp as your own Miss Byron in honour to my sister and of us all has gilded this day by her presence
Mr Beauchamp respectfully took my hand Forgive me madam bowing upon it—I do revere you The Lady whom Sir Charles Grandison admires as he does you must be the first of women
I might have said that he who was so eminently distinguished as the friend of Sir Charles Grandison must be a most valuable man But my spirits were not high I courtesied to his compliment and was silent
Sir Charles presented Emily to him—My Emily Beauchamp I hope to live to see her happily married The man whose heart is but half so worthy as hers must be an excellent man
Modesty might look up and be sensible to compliments from the lips of such a man Emily looked at me with pleasure as if she had said Do you hear madam what a fine thing my guardian has said of me
Sir Charles asked Mr Beauchamp how he stood with my Lady Beauchamp
Very well answered he After such an introduction as you had given me to her I must have been to blame had I not She is my fathers wife I must respect her were she ever so unkind to me She is not without good qualities Were every family so happy as to have Sir Charles Grandison for a mediator when misunderstandings happened there would be very few
lasting differences among relations My father and mother tell me that they never sit down to table together but they bless you And to me they have talked of nobody else But Lady Beauchamp depends upon your promise of making her acquainted with the Ladies of your family
My sisters and their Lords will do honour to my promise in my absence Lady L Lady G let me recommend to you Lady Beauchamp as more than a common visiting acquaintance Do you Sir to Mr Beauchamp see it cultivated
Mr Beauchamp is an agreeable and when Sir Charles Grandison is not in company handsome and genteel man I think my dear that I do but the same justice that every body would do in this exception He is chearful lively yet modest and not too full of words One sees both love and respect in every look he casts upon his friend and that he is delighted when he hears him speak be the subject what it will He once said to Lord W who praised his nephew to him as he does to everybody near him The universal voice my Lord is in his favour whereever he goes Every one joins almost in the same words in different countries allowing for the different languages that for sweetness of manners and manly dignity he hardly ever had his equal
Sir Charles was then engaged in talk with his Emily she before him he standing in an easy genteel attitude leaning against the wainscot listening smiling to her prattle with looks of indulgent love as a father might do to a child he was fond of while she looked back every nowandthen towards me so proud poor dear of being singled out by her guardian
She tript to me afterwards and leaning over my shoulder as I sat whispered—I have been begging of my guardian to use his interest with you madam to take me down with you to Northamptonshire
And what is the result—She paused—Has he denied your request—No madam—Has he allowed you to go my dear if I comply turning half round to her with pleasure
She paused and seemed at a loss I repeated my question
Why no he has not consented neither—But he said such charming things so obliging so kind both of you and of me that I forgot my question tho it was so near my heart But I will ask him again
And thus Lucy can he decline complying and yet send away a requester so much delighted with him as to forget what her request was
Miss Grandison—Lady G I would say—singled me out soon after—This Beauchamp is really a very pretty fellow Harriet
He is an agreeable man answered I
So I think She said no more of him at that time
Between dinner and tea at Lady Ls motion they made me play on the harpsichord and after one lesson they besought Sir Charles to sing to my playing He would not he said deny any request that was made him on that day
He sung He has a mellow manly voice and great command of it
This introduced a little concert Mr Beauchamp took the violin Lord L the bassviol Lord G the Germanflute Lord W sung base Lady L Lady G and the Earl joined in the chorus The song was from Alexanders Feast The words
Happy happy happy pair
None but the good deserves the fair
Sir Charles tho himself equally brave and good preserring the latter word to the former.
Lady L had always insisted upon dancing at her sisters wedding We were not company enough for country dances But music having been orderd and
the performers come it was insisted upon that we should have a dance tho we were engaged in a conversation that I thought infinitely more agreeable
Lord G began with dancing a minuet with his bride She danced charmingly But on my telling her so afterwards she whispered me that she should have performed better had she danced with her brother Lord G danced extremely well
Lord L and Lady Gertrude Mr Beauchamp and Mrs Reeves Mr Reeves and Lady L danced all of them very agreeably
The Earl took me out But we had hardly done when asking pardon for disgracing me as he too modestly expressed himself he and all but my cousins and Emily called out for Sir Charles to dance with me
I was abashed at the general voice calling upon us both But it was obeyed
He deserved all the praises that Miss Gran—Lady G I would say gave him in her Letter to me and had every ones silent applause while we danced so silent that a whisper must have been heard And when he lead me to my seat every one clapt their hands as at some wellperformed part or fine sentiment in a play—Lord bless me my dear this man is everything But his conversation has ever been among the politest people of different nations
Lord W wished himself able from his gout to take out Miss Jervois The Bridegroom was called upon by Sir Charles and he took out the good girl who danced very prettily I fansied that he chose to call out Lord G rather than Mr Beauchamp He is the most delicate and considerate of men
Sir Charles was afterwards called upon by the Bride herself And she danced then with a grace indeed I was pleased that she could perform so well at her own wedding
Once more he and I were called upon He whisperingly
as if all the approbation so loudly given before when we danced together was due to me and none to himself conditiond for me with every one that no notice should be taken of my performance For he saw that I could hardly stand the applauses given on our dancing before
Sir Charles when we had done called me inimitable The word was caught by every mouth and I sat down with reason enough for pride if their praises could have elevated me But I was not proud My spirits were not high—I fansy Lucy that Lady Clementina is a fine dancer
Supper was not ready till twelve Mr Reevess coach came about that hour but we got not away till two Perhaps the company would not have broke up so soon had not the Bride been perverse and refused to retire Was she not at home she asked Lady L who was put upon urging her And should she leave her company
She would make me retire with her She took a very affectionate leave of me
Marriage Lucy is an awful rite It is supposed to be a joyful solemnity But on the womans side it can be only so when she is given to the man she loves above all the men in the world and even to her the anniversary day when doubt is turned into certainty must be much happier than the day itself What a victim must that woman look upon herself to be who is compelled or even overpersuaded to give her hand to a man who has no share in her heart Ought not a parent or guardian in such a circumstance especially if the child has a delicate an honest mind to be chargeable with all the unhappy consequences that may follow from such a cruel compulsion
But this is not the case with Miss Grandison Early she cast her eye on an improper object Her pride convinced her in time of the impropriety And this as she owns gave her an difference to all men She
hates not Lord G There is no man whom she prefers to him And in this respect may perhaps be upon a par with eight women out of twelve who marry and yet make not bad wives As she played with her passion till she lost it she may be happy if she will And since she intended to be some time or other Lady G her brother was kind in persuading her to shorten her days of coquetting and teazing and allow him to give her to Lord G before he went abroad
Wednesday April 12
DR Bardett was so good as to breakfast with my cousins and me this morning He talks of setting out for Grandisonhall on Saturday or Monday next We have settled a correspondence and he gives me hope that he will make me a visit in Northamptonshire I know you will all rejoice to see him
Emily came in before the Doctor went She brought me the compliments of the Bride and Lord W with their earnest request that I would dine with them Sir Charles was gone she said to make a farewel visit to the Danby set but would be at home at dinner
It would be better for me I think Lucy to avoid all opportunities of seeing him Dont you think so—There is no such thing as seeing him with indifference▪ But so earnestly invited how could I deny
My cousins were also invited But having engaged to be at home in the afternoon they excused themselves
Miss Jervois whispered me at parting I never before said she had an opportunity to observe the behaviour of a newmarried couple to each other But is it customary madam for the Bride to be more snappish as the Bridegroom is more obliging
Lady G is very naughty my dear if she so behaves as to give you reason to ask this question
She does And upon my word I see more obedience where it was not promised than where it was Dear madam is not what is said at church to be thought of afterwards But why did not the doctor make her speak out What signified bowing except a woman was so bashful that she could not speak
The bowing my dear is an assent It is as efficacious as words Lord G only bowed you know Could you like to be called upon Emily to speak out
Why no But then I would be very civil and goodnatured to my husband if it were but for fear he should be cross to me But I should think it my duty as well—Sweet innocent
She went away and left the doctor with me
When our hearts are set upon a particular subject how impertinent how much beside the purpose do we think every other I wanted the doctor to talk of Sir Charles Grandison But as he fell not into the subject and as I was afraid he would think me to be always leading him into it if I began it I suffered him to go away at his first motion I never knew him so shy upon it however
Sir Charles returned to dinner He has told Lady L who afterwards told us that he had a hint from Mr Galhard senior that if he were not engaged in his affections he was commissioned to make him a very great proposal in behalf of one of the young ladies he had seen the Thursday before and that from her father
Surely Lucy we may pronounce without doubt that we live in an age in which there is a great dearth of good men that so many offers sall to the lot of one But I am thinking tis no small advantage to Sir Charles that his time is so taken up that he cannot stay long enough in any company to suffer them
to cast their eyes on other objects with distinction He left the numerous assembly at Enfield while they were in the height of their admiration of him Attention love admiration cannot be always kept at the stretch You will observe Lucy that on the return of a longabsent dear friend the rapture lasts not more than an hour Gladdened as the heart is the friend received and the friend receiving perhaps in less than that time can sit down quietly together to hear and to tell stories of what has happened to either in the ongregretted absence It will be so with us Lucy when I return to the arms of my kind friends And now does not Sir Charless proposed journey to Italy endear his company to us
The Earl of G Lady Gertrude and two agreeable nieces of that Noblemans were here at dinner Lady G behaved pretty well to her Lord before them But I who understood the language of her eyes saw them talk very saucily to him on several occasions My Lord is a little officious in his obligingness which takes off from that graceful and polite frankess which so charmingly on all occasions distinguishes one happy man who was then present Lord G will perhaps appear more to advantage in that persons absence
Mr Beauchamp was also present He is indeed an agreeable a modest young man He appeared to great advantage as well in his conversation as by his behaviour And not the less for subscribing in both to the superiority of his friend who nevertheless endeavoured to dr•• him out as the first man
After dinner Lady L Lady G and I found an opportunity to be by ourselves for one halfhour Lady G asked Lady L what she intended to do with the thousand poun•• with which Lord W had so generously presented her—Do with it my dear—What do you think I inend to do with it—It is already disposed of
Ill be hanged said Lady G if this good creature has not given it to her husband
Indeed Charlotte I have I gave it to him before I slept
I thought so She laughed—And Lord L took it Did he
To be sure he did I should otherwise have been displeased with him
Dear good soul—And so you gave him a thousand pounds to take part of it back from him by four or five paltry guineas at a time at his pleasure
Lord L and I Charlotte have but one purse You may perhaps know how we manage it
Pray good meek dependent creature how do you manage it
Thus Charlotte My Lord knows that his wife and he have but one interest and from the first of our happy marriage he would make me take one key as he has another of the private drawer where his money and moneybills lie There is a little memorandumbook in the drawer in which he enters on one page the money he receives on the opposite the money he takes out And when I want money I have recourse to my key If I see but little in the drawer I am the more moderate or perhaps if my want is not urgent defer the supplying of it till my Lord is richer But little or much I minute down the sum as he himself does and so we know what we are about and I never put it out of my Lords power by my unseasonable expences to preserve that custom of his for which he is as much respected as well served not to suffer a demand to be twice made upon him where he is a debtor
Good soul—And pray dont you minute down too the use to which you put the money you take out
Indeed I often do Always indeed when I take out more than five guineas at one time I found my Lord did so and I followed the example of my own accord
Happy pair said I—O Lady G what a charming example is this—I hope youll follow it
Thank you Harriet for your advice Why I cant but say that this is one pretty way of coaxing each other into frugality But dont you think▪ that where an honest pair are so tender of disobliging and so studious of obliging each other that they seem to confess that the matrimonial good understanding hangs by very slender threads
And do not the tenderest friendships said I hang by as slender Can delicate minds be united to each other but by delicate observances
Why thou art a good soul too Harriet—And so you would both have me make a present to Lord G of my thousand pounds before we have chosen our private drawer before he has got two keys made to it
Let him know Charlotte what Lord L and I do if you think the example worth following—And then—
Ay and then give him my thousand pounds for a beginning Lady L—But see you not that this proposal should come from him not from me—And should we not let each other see a little of each others merits first
See first the merits of the man you have married Charlotte
Yes Lady L—But yesterday married you know Can there be a greater difference between any two men in the world than there often is between the same man a lover and an hustand—And now my generous advisers be pleased to continue silent You cannot answer me fairly And besides wot ye not the indelicacy of an early present which you are not obliged to make
We were both silent each expecting the other to answer the strange creature
She laughed at us both Soft souls and tender
said she let me tell you that there is more in delicacy than you very delicate people are aware of
You Charlotte said Lady L have odder notions than any body else Had you been a man you would have been a sad rake
A rake perhaps I might have been but not a sad one Lady L
Lady G cant help being witty said I It is sometimes her misfortune sometimes ours that she cannot However I highly approve of the example set by Lord L and followed by Lady L
And so do I Harriet And when Lord G sets the example I shall—consider of it I am not a bad oeconomist Had I ten thousand pounds in my hands I would not be extravagant Had I but one hundred I would not be mean I value not money but as it enables me to lay an obligation instead of being under the necessity of receiving one I am my mothers daughter and brothers sister and yours Lady L in this particular and yours too Harriet Different means may be taken to arrive at the same end Lord G will have no reason to be dissatisfied with my prudence in moneymatters altho I should not make him one of my best courtesies as if—as if—and she laughed but checking herself I were conscious—again she laughed—that I had signed and sealed to my absolute dependence on his bounty
What a mad creature said Lady L But my Harriet dont you think that she behaved pretty well to Lord G at table
Yes answered I as those would think who observe not her arch looks But she gave me pain for her several times and I believe her brother was not without his apprehensions
He had his eyes upon you Harriet replyd Lady G more earnestly than he had upon me or anybody else
Thats true said Lady L I looked upon both him and you my dear with pity My tears were ready to start more than once▪ to reflect how happy you two might be in each other and how greatly you would love each other were it not—
Not one word more on this subject dear Lady L I cannot bear it I thought myself that he often cast an eye of tenderness upon me I cannot bear it I am afraid of myself of my justice—
His tender looks did not escape me said Lady G Nor yet did my dear Harriets But we will not touch this string It is too tender a one I for my part was forced in order to divert myself to turn my eyes on Lord G He got nothing by that The most officious—
Nay Lady G interupted I you shall not change the discourse at the expence of the man you have vowed to honour I will be pained myself by the continuation of the former subject rather than that shall be
Charming Harriet said Lady L I hope your generosity will be rewarded Yet tell me my dear can you wish Lady Clementina may be his I have no doubt but you wish her recovery but can you wish her to be his
I have debated the matter my dear Lady L with myself I am sorry it has admitted of debate So excellent a creature Such an honour to her Sex So nobly sincere So pious—But I will confess the truth I have called upon justice to support me in my determination I have supposed myself in her situation her unhappy malady excepted I have supposed her in mine And ought I then to have hesitated to which to give the preference—Yet—
What yet most frank and most generous of women said Lady L clasping her arms about me what yet—
Why yet—Ah Ladies—Why yet I have many a
pang many a twitch as I may call it—Why is your brother so tenderhearted so modest so faultless—Why did he not insult me with his pity Why does he on every occasion shew a tenderness for me that is more affecting than pity and why does he give me a consequence that exalts while it depresses me
I turned my head aside to hide my emotion—Lady G snatched my handkerchief from me and wiped away a starting tear and called me by very tender names
Am I dear continued I to the heart of such a man You think I am Allow me to say that he is indeed dear to mine Yet I have not a wish but for his happiness whatever becomes of me
Emily appeared at the door—May I come in Ladies—I will come in—My dear Miss Byron affected My dear Miss Byron in tears
Her pity without knowing the cause sprung to her eyes She took my hand in both hers and repeatedly kissed it—My guardian asks for you O with what tenderness of voice—Where is your Miss Byron Love He calls every one by gentle names when he speaks of you—His voice then is the voice of Love—Love said he to me Thro you madam he will love his ward—And on your love will I build all my merit But you sigh dear Miss Byron you sigh—Forgive your prating girl—You must not be grieved
I embraced her Grief my dear reaches not my heart at this time It is the merit of your guardian that affects me
God bless you madam for your gratitude to my guardian
A Clementina and an Harriet said Lady L two women so excellent What a sate is his How must his heart be divided
Divided say you Lady L resumed Lady G The man who loves virtue for virtues sake loves it whereever he finds it Such a man may distinguish
more virtuous women than one And if he be of a gentle and beneficent nature there will be tenderness in his distinction to every one varying only according to the difference of her circumstances
Let me embrace you my Charlotte resumed Lady L for that thought Dont let me hear for a month to come one word from the same lips that may be unworthy of it
You have Lord G in your head Lady L But never mind us He must nowandthen be made to look about him Ill take care to keep up my consequence with him never fear Nor shall he have reason to doubt the virtue of his wife
Virtue my dear said I What is virtue only She who will not be virtuous for virtues sake is not worthy to be called a woman But she must be something more than virtuous for her husbands nay for her vows sake Complacency obligingness—
Obedience too I warrant—Hush hush my sweet Harriet putting her hand before my mouth we will behave as well as we can And that will be very well if nobody minds us And now let ns go down together
Thursday April 13
WE played at cards last night till suppertime When that was over every one sought to engage Sir Charles in discourse I will give you some particulars of our conversation as I did of one before
Lord W began it with a complaint of the insolence and profligateness of servants What he said was only answered by Sir Charles with the word example example my good Lord repeated
You Sir Charles replied my Lord may indeed
insist upon the force of example for I cannot but observe that all those of yours whom I have seen are intitled to regard They have the looks of men at ease and of men grateful for that ease They know their duty and need not a reminding look A servant of yours Sir Charles looks as if he would one day make a figure as a master How do you manage it
Perhaps I have been peculiarly fortunate in worthy servants There is nothing in my management deserving the attention of this company
I am going to begin the world anew nephew Hitherto servants have been a continual plague to me I must know how you treat them
I treat them my Lord as necessary parts of my family I have no secrets the keeping or disclosing of which might give them selfimportance I endeavour to set them no bad example I am never angry with them but for wilful faults If there are not habitual I shame them into amendment by gentle expostulation and forgiveness If they are not capable of a generous shame and the faults grow habitual I part with them but with such kindness as makes their fellowservants blame them and take warning I am fond of seeking occasions to praise them And even when they mistake if it be with a good intention they have my approbation of the intention and my endeavours to set them right as to the act Sobriety is an indispensable qualification for my service and for the rest if we receive them not quite good we make them better than they were before Generally speaking a master may make a servant what he pleases Servants judge by example rather than precept and almost always by their seelings One thing more permit me to add I always insist upon my servants being kind and compassionate to one another. A compassionate heart cannot habitually be an unjust one And thus do I make their goodnature contribute to my security as well as quiet
My Lord was greatly pleased with what his nephew said
Upon some occasion Lady G reflected upon a Lady for prudery and was going on when Sir Charles interrupting her said Take care Lady G—You Ladies take care for I am afraid that MODESTY under this name will become ignominious and be banished the hearts at least the behaviour and conversation of all those whose fortunes or inclinations carry them often to places of public resort
Talk of places of public resort said Lord L It is vexatious to observe at such how men of real merit are neglected by the fine Ladies of the age while every distinction is shewn to fops and foplings
But who my Lord said Sir Charles are those women Are they not generally of a class with those men Flippant women love empty men because they cannot reproach them with a superiority of understanding but keep their solly in countenance They are afraid of a wise man But I would by no means have such a one turn sool to please them For they will despise the wise mans folly more than the silly mans and with reason because being uncharacteristic it must sit more aukwardly upon him than the others can do
Yet wisdom itself, and the truest wisdom goodness said Mrs Reeves is sometimes thought to sit ungracefully when it is uncharacteristic not to the man but to the times She then named a person who was branded as an hypocrite for performing all his duties publicly
He will be worse spoken of if he declines doing so said Dr Bartlett His enemies will add the charge of cowardice and not acquit him of the other
Lady Gertrude being withdrawn it was mentioned as a wonder that so agreeable a woman as she must have been in her youth and still was for her years should remain single Lord G said that she
had had many offers And once before she was twenty had like to have stolen a wedding but her fears he said since that had kept her single
The longer said Sir Charles a woman remains unmarried the more apprehensive she will be of entering into the state At seventeen or eighteen a girl will plunge into it sometimes without either fear or wit at twenty she will begin to think at twentyfour will weigh and discriminate at twentyeight will be afraid of venturing at thirty will turn about and look down the hill she has ascended and as occasions offer and instances are given will sometimes repent sometimes rejoice that she has gained that summit sola
Indeed said Mrs Reeves I believe in England many a poor girl goes up the hill with a companion she would little care for if the state of a single woman were not here so peculiarly unprovided and helpless For girls of slender fortunes if they have been genteelly brought up how can they when familyconnexions are dissolved support themselves A man can rise in a profession and if he acquires wealth in a trade can get above it and be respected A woman is looked upon as demeaning herself if she gains a maintenance by her needle or by domestic attendance on a superior and without them where has she a retreat
You speak good Mrs Reeves said Sir Charles as if you would join with Dr Bartlett and me in wishing the establishment of a scheme we have often talked over tho the name of it would make many a Lady start We want to see estabilished in every county Protestant Nunneries in which single women of small or no fortunes might live with all manner of freedom under such regulations as it would be a disgrace for a modest or good woman not to comply with were she absolutely on her own hands and to be allowed to quit it whenever they pleased
Well brother said Lady G and why could you not have got all this settled a fortnight ago you that can carry every point and have made poor me a Lady Abbess
You are still better provided for my sister But let the Doctor and me proceed with our scheme The governesses or matrons of the society I would have to be women of family of unblameable characters from infancy and noted equally for their prudence goodnature and gentleness of manners The attendants for the slighter services should be the hopeful female children of the honest industrious poor
Do you not Ladies imagine said Dr Bartlett that such a society as this all women of unblemishd reputation employing themselves as each consulting her own genius at her admission shall undertake to employ herself and supported genteelly some at more some at less expence to the foundation according to their circumstances might become a national good and particularly a seminary for good wives and the institution a stand for virtue in an age given up to luxury extravagance and amusements little less than riotous
How could it be supported said Lord W
Many of the persons of which each community would consist would be I imagine replied Sir Charles no expence to it at all as numbers of young women joining their small fortunes might be able in such a society to maintain themselves genteelly on their own income tho each singly in the world would be distressed Besides liberty might be given for wives in the absence of their husbands in this maritime country and for widows who on the deaths of theirs might wish to retire from the noise and hurry of the world for three six or twelve months more or less to reside in this wellregulated society And such persons we may suppose would be glad according to their respective abilities to be benesactresses to it
No doubt but it would have besides the countenance of the welldisposed of both sexes since every family in Britain in their connexions and relations near or distant might be benefited by so reputable and useful an institution To say nothing of the works of the Ladies in it the profits of which perhaps will be thought proper to be carried towards the support of a foundation that so genteelly supports them Yet I would have a number of hours in each day for the encouragement of industry that should be called their own and what was produced in them to be solely appropriated to their own use
A truly worthy divine at the appointment of the Bishop of the diocese to direct and animate the devotion of such a society and to guard it from that superstition and enthusiasm which soars to wild heights in almost all Nunneries would confirm it a blessing to the kingdom
I have another scheme my Lord proceeded Sir Charles—An Hospital for female Penitents for such unhappy women as having been once drawn in and betrayed by the perfidy of men find themselves by the cruelty of the world and principally by that of their own Sex unable to recover the path of virtue when perhaps convinced of the wickedness of the men in whose honour they confided they would willingly make their first departure from it the last
These continued he are the poor creatures who are eminently intitled to our pity tho they seldom meet with it Goodnature and Credulity the child of good nature are generally as I have the charity to believe rather than viciousness the foundation of their crime Those men who pretend they would not be the first destroyers of a womans innocence look upon these as fair prize But what a wretch is he who seeing a poor creature exposed on the summit of a dangerous precipice and unable without an assisting hand to find her way down would rather push
her into the gulph below than convey her down in safety
Speaking of the force put upon a daughters inclinations in wedlock Tyranny and ingratitude said Sir Charles from a man beloved will be more supportable to a woman of strong passions than even kindness from a man she loves not Shall not parents then who hope to see their children happy avoid compelling them to give their hands to a man who has no share in their hearts
But would you allow young Ladies to be their own choosers Sir Charles said Mr Reeves
Daughters replied he who are earnest to choose for themselves should be doubly careful that prudence justifies their choice Every widow who marries imprudently and very many there are who do furnishes a strong argument in favour of a parents authority over a maiden daughter A designing man looks out for a woman who has an independent fortune and has no questions to ask He seems assured of findin indiscretion and rashness in such a one to befriend him But ought not she to think herself affronted and resolve to disappoint him
But how said Lady G shall a young creature be able to judge—
By his application to her rather than to her natural friends and relations by his endeavouring to alienate her affections from them by wishing her to favour private and clandestine meetings conscious that his petensions will not stand discussion by the inequality of his fortune to hers And has not our excellent Miss Byron in the Letters to her Lucy bowing to me which she has had the goodness to allow us to read helped us to a criterion
Men in their addresses to young women she very happily observes forget not to set forward the advantages by which they are distinguished whether hereditary or acquired while Love Love is all the cry of him who has no other to boast of
And by that means said Lady Gertrude setting the silly creature at variance with all her friends he makes her fight his battles for him and become herself the cats paw to help him to the readyroasted chesnuts
But dear brother said Lady G do you think Love is such a stayd deliberate passion as to allow a young creature to take time to ponder and weigh all the merits of the cause
Love at first sight answered Sir Charles must indicate a mind prepared for impression and a sudden gust of passion and that of the least noble kind since there could be no opportunity of knowing the merit of the object. What woman would have herself supposed capable of such a tinderyfit In a man it is an indelicate paroxysm But in a woman who expects protection and instruction from a man much more so Love at first may be only fancy Such a young Love may be easily given up and ought to a parents judgment Nor is the conquest so difficult as some young creatures think it One thing my good Emily let me say to you as a rule of some consequence in the world you are just entering into—Young persons on arduous occasions especially in Lovecases should not presume to advise young persons because they seldom can divest themselves of passion partiality or prejudice that is indeed of youth and forbear to mix their own concerns and byasses with the question referred to them It should not be put from young friend to young friend What would you do in such a case but What ought to be done
How the dear girl blushd and how pleased she looked to be particularly addressed by her guardian
Lady Gertrude spoke of a certain father who for interested views obliged his daughter to marry at fifteen when she was not only indifferent to the man but had formed no right notions of the state
And are they not unhappy askd Sir Charles
They are replyd she
I knew such an instance returned he The Lady was handsome and had her full share of vanity She believed every man who said civil things to her was in love with her and had she been single that he would have made his addresses to her She supposed that she might have had this great man or that had she not been precipitated And this brought her to slight the man who had as she concluded deprived her of better offers They were unhappy to the end of their lives Had the Lady lived single long enough to find out the difference between compliment and sincerity and that the man who flattered her vanity meant no more than to take advantage of her folly she would have thought herself not unhappy with the very man with whom she was so dissatisfied
Lady L speaking afterwards of a certain nobleman who is continually railing against matrimony and who makes a very indifferent husband to an obliging wife I have known more men than one said Sir Charles inveigh against matrimony when the invective would have proceeded with a much better grace from their wives lips than from theirs But let us enquire would this complainer have been or deserved to be happier in any state than he now is
A state of suffering said Lady L had probably humbled the spirits of the poor wives into perfect meekness and patience
You observe rightly replied Sir Charles And surely a most kind disposition of Providence it is that adversity so painful in itself, should conduce so peculiarly to the improvement of the human mind It teaches modesty humility and compassion
You speak feelingly brother said Lady L with a sigh Do you think Lucy nobody sighed but she
I do said he I speak with a sense of gratitude I am naturally of an imperious spirit But I have reaped advantages from the early stroke of a mothers
death Being for years against my wishes obliged to submit to a kind of exile from my native country which I considered as a heavy evil tho I thought it my duty to acquiesce I was determined as much as my capacity would allow to make my advantage of the compulsion by qualifying myself to do credit rather than discredit to my father my friends and my country And let me add that if I have in any tolerable manner succeeded I owe much to the example and precepts of my dear Dr Bartlett
The doctor blushed and bowed and was going to disclaim the merit which his patron had ascribed to him but Sir Charles confirmed it in still stronger terms You my dear Dr Bartlett said he as I have told Miss Byron was a second conscience to me in my earlier youth Your precepts your excellent life your pure manners your sweetness of temper could not but open and enlarge my mind The soil I hope I may say was not barren but you my dear paternal friend was the cultivator I shall ever acknowlege it—And he bowed to the good man who was covered with modest confusion and could not look up
And think you Lucy that this acknowlegement lessened the excellent man with any one present No It raised him in every eye And I was the more pleased with it as it helped me to account for that deep observation which otherwise one should have been at a loss to account for in so young a man And yet I am convinced that there is hardly a greater difference in intellect between angel and man than there is between man and man
Thursday April 13
FOR Heavens sake my dearest Harriet dine with us today for two reasons One relates to myself the other you shall hear by andby To myself first as is most fit—This silly creature has offended me and presumed to be sullen upon my resentment Married but two days and shew his airs—Were I in fault my dear which upon my honour I am not for the man to lose his patience with me to forget his obligations to me in two days—What an ungrateful wretch is he What a poor powerless creature your Charlotte
Nobody knows of the matter except he has complained to my brother—If he has—But what if he has—Alas my dear I am married and cannot help myself
We seem however to be drawing up our forces on both sides—One struggle for my dying liberty my dear—The success of one pitched battle will determine which is to be the general which the subaltern for the rest of the campaign To dare to be sullen already—As I hope to live my dear I was in high good humour within myself and when he was foolish only intended a little play with him and he takes it in earnest He worships you So I shall railly him before you But I charge you as the man by his sullenness has taken upon him to fight his own battle either to be on my side or be silent I shall take it very ill of my Harriet if she strengthen his hands
Well but enough of this husband—HUSBAND What a word—Who do you think is arrived from abroad—You cannot guess for your life—Lady
OLIVIA—True as you are alive accompanied it seems by an aunt of hers a widow whose years and character are to keep the niece in countenance in this excursion The pretence is making the tour of Europe and England was not to be left out of the scheme My brother is excessively disturbed at her arrival She came to town but last night He had notice of it but this morning He took Emily with him to visit her Emily was known to her at Florence She and her aunt are to be here at dinner As she is come Sir Charles says he must bring her acquainted with his Sisters and their Lords in order to be at liberty to pursue the measures he has unalterably resolved upon And this Harriet is my second reason for urging you to dine with us
Now do I wish we had known her history at large Dr Bartlett shall tell it us Unwelcome as she is to my brother I long to see her I hope I shall not hear something in her story that will make me pity her
Will you come
I wonder whether she speaks English or not I dont think I can converse in Italian
I wont forgive you if you refuse to come
Lady L and her good man will be here We shall therefore if you come be our whole family together
My brother has presented this house to me till his return He calls himself Lord Gs guest and mine So you can have no punctilio about it Besides Lord W will set out tomorrow morning for Windsor He dotes upon you And perhaps it is in your power to make a newmarried man penitent and polite
So you must come
Hang me if I sign by any other name while this man is in fits than that of
CHARLOTTE GRANDISON
Thursday April 13
I SEND you inclosed a Letter I received this morning from Lady G I will suppose you have read it
Emily says that the meeting between Sir Charles and the Lady mentioned in it was very polite on both sides But more cold on his than on hers She made some difficulty however of dining at his house and her aunt Lady Massei more But on Sir Charless telling them that he would bring his eldest sister to attend them thither they complied
When I went to St Jamess Square Sir Charles and Lady L were gone in his coach to bring the two Ladies
Lady G met me on the stairshead leading into her dressingroom Not a word said she of the mans sullens He repents A fine figure as I told him of a bridegroom would he make in the eyes of foreign Ladies at dinner were he to retain his gloomy airs He has begged my pardon as good as promised amendment and I have forgiven him
Poor Lord G said I
Hush hush He is within He will hear you And then perhaps repent of his repentance
She led me in My Lord had a glow in his cheeks and looked as if he had been nettled and was but just recovering a smile to help to carry off the petulance O how saucily did her eyes look Well my Lord said she I hope—But you say I misunderstood—
No more madam no more I beseech you—
Well Sir not a word more since you are—
Pray madam—
Well well give me your hand—You must leave Harrier and me together
She humorously courtesied to him as he bowed to me taking the compliment as to herself She nodded her head to him as he turned back his when he was at the door and when he was gone If I can but make this man orderly said she I shall not quarrel with my brother for hurrving me as he has done
You are wrong excessively wrong Charlotte You call my Lord a silly man but can have no proof that he is so but by his bearing this treatment from you
None of your grave airs my dear The man is a good sort of man and will be so▪ if you and Lady L dont spoil him I have a vast deal of roguery but no illnature in my heart There is luxury in jesting with a solemn man who wants to assume airs of privilege and thinks he has a right to be impertinent Ill tell you how I will manage—I believe I shall often try his patience and when I am conscious that I have gone too far I will be patient if he is angry with me so we shall be quits Then Ill begin again He will resent And if I find his aspect very solemn—Come come no glouting friend I will say and perhaps smile in his face Ill play you a tune or sing you a song—Which which Speak in a moment or the humour will be off
If he was ready to cry before he will laugh then tho against his will And as he admires my finger and my voice shall we not be instantly friends
It signified nothing to rave at her She will have her way Poor Lord G—At my first knowlege of her I thought her very lively but imagined not that she was indiscreetly so
Lord Gs fondness for his saucy bride was as I have reason to believe his fault I dare not to ask for particulars of their quarrel And if I had and found it so could not with such a raillying creature have entered into his defence or censured her
I went down a few moments before her Lord G whispered me that he should be the happiest man in the world if I who had such an influence over her would stand his friend
I hope my Lord said I that you will not want any influence but your own She has a thousand good qualities She has charming spirits You will have nothing to bear with but from them They will not last always Think only that she can mean nothing by the exertion of them but innocent gaiety and she will every day love your Lordship the better for bearing with her You know she is generous and noble
I see madam said she she has let you into—
She has not acquainted me with the particulars of the little misunderstanding only has said that there had been a slight one which was quite made up
I am ashamed replied he to have it thought by Miss Byron that there could have been a misunderstanding between us especially so early She knows her power over me I am afraid she despises me
Impossible my Lord Have you not observed that she spares nobody when she is in a lively humour
True—But here she comes—Not a word madam—I bowed assenting silence Lord G said she approaching him in a low voice I shall be jealous of your conversations with Miss Byron
Would to heaven my dearest life snatching at her withdrawn hand that—
I were half as good as Miss Byron I understand you—But time and patience Sir nodding to him and passing him
Admirable creature said he how I adore her
I hinted to her afterwards his fear of her despising him Harriet answered she with a serious air I will do my duty by him I will abhor my own heart if I ever find in it the shadow of a regard for any man in the World inconsistent with that which he has a right to expect from me
I was pleased with her And found an opportunity to communicate what she said in confidence to my Lord and had his blessings for it
But now for some account of Lady Olivia With which I will begin a new Letter
SIR Charles returned with the Ladies He presented to Lady Olivia and her Aunt Lady G Lord L and Lord W I was in another apartment talking with Dr Bartlett Lady Olivia asked for the doctor He left me to pay his respects to her Sir Charles being informed that I was in the house told Lady Olivia that he hoped he should have the honour of presenting to her one of our English beauties desiring Lady G to request my company
Lady G came to me—A lovely woman I assure you Harriet let me lead you to her Sir Charles met me at the entrance of the drawingroom Excuse me madam said he taking my hand with profound respect and allow me to introduce to a very amiable Italian Lady one of the loveliest women in Britain leading me up to her she advancing towards me Miss Byron madam addressing himself to her salutes you Her beauty engages every eye but that is her least perfection
Her face glowed Miss Byron said she in French is all loveliness A relation Sir in Italian He bowed but answered not her question
Her aunt saluting me expressed herself in my favour
I would sooner forgive you here whispered Lady Olivia to Sir Charles in Italian looking at me than at Bologna
I heard her and by my confusion shewed that I understood her She was in confusion too
Mademoiselle said she in French understands Italian—I am ashamed Monsieur
Miss Byron does answered Sir Charles and French too
I must have the honour said she in French to be better known to you Mademoiselle
I answered her as politely as I could in the same language
Lady OLIVIA is really a lovely woman Her complexion is fine Her face oval Every feature of it is delicate Her hair is black and I think I never saw brighter black eyes in my life If possible they are brighter and shine with a more piercing lustre than even Sir Charles Grandisons But yet I give his the preference for we see in them a benignity that hers tho a womans have not and a thoughtfulness as if something lay upon his mind which nothing but patience could overcome yet mingled with an air that shews him to be equal to any-thing, that can be undertaken by man While Olivias eves shew more fire and impetuosity than sweetness Had I not been toll it I should have been sure that she has a violent spirit But on the whole she is a very fine figure of a woman
She talkd of taking a house and staying in England a year at least and was determined she said to perfect herself in the language and to become an Englishwoman But when Sir Charles in the way of discourse mentioned his obligation to leave England as on next Saturday morning how did she and her aunt look upon each other And how was the 〈◊〉 that gilded her fine countenance sh••i• Surely Sir said her aunt you are not in earnest▪
After dinner the two Ladies retired with Sir Charles at his motion Dr Bartlett at Lady Gs request then gave us this short sketch of her history He said
She had a vast fortune She had had indiscretions but none that had affected her character as to virtue But her spirit could not bear controul She had shewn herself to be vindictive even to a criminal degree Lord bless me my dear the doctor has mentioned to me in confidence that she always carries a poniard about her and that once she used it Had the person died she would have been called to public account for it The man it seems was of rank and offered some slight affront to her She now comes over the doctor said as he had reason to believe with a resolution to sacrifice even her religion if it were insisted upon to the passion she had so long in vain endeavoured to conquer
She has he says an utter hatred to Lady Clementina and will not be able to govern her passion he is sure when Sir Charles shall acquaint her that he is going to attend that Lady and her family For he has only mentioned his obligation to go abroad but not said whither
Lord W praised the person of the Lady and her majestic air Lord L and Lord G wishd to be within hearing of the conference between her and Sir Charles So did Lady G And while they were thus wishing in came Sir Charles his face all in a glow Lady L said he be so good as to attend Lady Olivia
She went to her Sir Charles staid not with us Yet went not to the Lady but into his Study Dr Bartlett attended him there The doctor returned soon after to us His noble heart is vexed said he Lady Olivia has greatly disturbed him He chooses to be alone
Lady L afterwards told us that she found the Lady in violent anguish of spirit her aunt endeavouring to calm her She however politely addressed herself to Lady L and begging her aunt to withdraw for a few moments she owned to her in French her passion for her brother She was not she said ashamed
to own it to his sister who must know that his merit would dignify the passion of the noblest woman She had endeavoured she said to conquer hers She had been willing to give way to the prior attachments that he had pleaded for a Lady of her own country Signora Clementina della Porretta whom she allowed to have had great merit but who having irrecoverably been put out of her right mind was shut up at Naples by a brother who vowed eternal enmity to Sir Charles and from whom his life would be in the utmost hazard if he went over She owned that her chief motive for coming to England was to cast her fortune at her brothers feet and as she knew him to be a man of honour to comply with any terms he should propose to her He had offered to the family della Porretta to allow their daughter her religion and her confessor and to live with her every other year in Italy She herself not inferior in birth in person in mind▪ as she said she presumed▪ and superior in fortune the riches of three branches of her family all rich having centred in her insisted not now upon such conditions Her aunt she said knew not that she proposed on conviction a change of her religion but she was resolved not to conceal any-thing from Lady L She left her to judge how much she must be affected when he declared his obligation to leave England and especiall when he owned that it was to go to Bologna and that so suddenly as if as she apprehended at first it was to avoid her She had been in tears she said and even would have kneeled to him to induce him to 〈◊〉 end his journey for one month and then to have taken her over with him and seen her safe in her own palace if he would go upon so hated and so fruitless as well as so hazardous an errand But he had denied her this poor favour
This refusal she owned had put her out of all patience She was unhappily passionate but was the
most placable of her Sex What madam said she can affect a woman if slight indignity and repulse from a favoured person is not able to do it A woman of my condition to come over to England to sollicit—how can I support the thought—and to be refused the protection of the man she prefers to all men and her request to see her safe back again tho but as the fool she came over—You may blame me madam—but you must pity me even were you to have a heart the sisterheart of your inflexible brothers
In vain did Lady L plead to her Lady Clementinas deplorable situation the reluctance of his own relations to part with him and the magnanimity of his selfdenial in an hundred instances on the bare possibility of being an instrument to restore her She could not bear to hear her speak highly of the unhappy Lady She charged Clementina with the pride of her family to which she attributed their deserved calamity Deserved Cruel Lady How could her pitiless heart allow her lips to utter such a word and imputed meanness to the noblest of human minds for yielding to the entreaties of a family some of the principals of which she said had treated him with an arrogance that a man of his spirit ought not to bear
Lady Maffei came in She seems dependent upon her niece She is her aunt by marriage only And Lady L speaks very favourably of her from the advice she 〈◊〉 and her remonstrances to her kinswoman Lady Maffei besought her to compose herself and return to the company
She could not bear she said to return to the company the slighted the contemned object she must appear to be to every one in it I am an intruder said she haughtily a beggar with a fortune that would purchase a Sovereignty in some countries Make my excuses to your sister to the rest of the
company—and to that fine young Lady—whose eyes by their officious withdrawing from his and by the consciousness that glowed in her face whenever he addressed her betrayed at least to a jealous eye more than she would wish to have seen—But tell her that all lovely and blooming as she is she must have no hope while Clementina lives
I hope Lucy it is only to a jealous eye that my heart is so discoverable—I thank her for her caution But I can say what she cannot that from my heart cost me what it may I do subscribe to a preference in favour of a Lady who has acted in the most arduous trials in a greater manner than I fear either Olivia or I could have acted in the same circumstances We see that her reason but not her piety deserted her in the noble struggle between her Love and her Religion In the most affecting absences of her reason the Soul of the man she loved was the object of her passion However hard it is to prefer another to ones self in such a case as this yet if my judgment is convinced my acknowlegement shall follow it Heaven will enable me to be reconciled to the event because I pursue the dictates of that judgment against the biasses of my more partial heart Let that Heaven which only can restore Clementina and dispose as it pleases of Olivia and Harriet We cannot either of us I humbly hope be so unhappy as the Lady has been whom I rank among the first of women and whose whole family deserves almost equal compassion
Lady Olivia ask Lady L If her brother had not a very tender regard for me He had Lady L answered and told her that he had rescued me from a very great distress and that mine was the most grateful of human hearts
She called me sweet young creature supposing me I doubt not youger than I am but said that the graces of my person and mind alarmed her not as they would have done had not his attachment to Clementina
mentina been what now she saw but never could have believed it was having supposed that compassion only was the tie that bound him to her
But compassion Lucy from such a heart as his the merit so great in the Lady must be Love a Love of the nobler kind—And if it were not it would be unworthy of Clementinas
Lady Maffei called upon her dignity her birth to carry her above a passion that met not with a grateful return She advised her to dispose herself to stay in England some months now she was here And as her friends in Italy would suppose what her view was in coming to England their censures would be obviated by here continuing here for some time while Sir Charles was abroad and in Italy And that she should divert herself with visiting the court the public places and in seeing the principal curiosities of this kingdom as she had done those of others in order to give credit to an excursion that might otherwise be freely spoken of in her own country
She seemed to listen to this advice She bespoke and was promised the friendship of the two sisters and included in her request through their interests mine and Lady G was called in by her sister to join in the promise
She desired that Sir Charles might be requested to walk in but would not suffer the sisters to withdraw as they would have done when he returned He could not but be polite but it seems looked still disturbed I beg you to excuse Sir said she my behaviour to you It was passionate it was unbecoming But in compliment to your own consequence you ought to excuse it I have only to request one favour of you That you will suspend for one week in regard to me your proposed journey but for one week and I will now I am in England stay some months perhaps till your return
Excuse me madam
I will not excuse you—But one week Sir Give me so much importance with myself as for one weeks suspension You will You must
Indeed I cannot My Soul I own to you is in the distrestes of the family of Porretta Why should I repeat what I said to you before
I have bespoken Sir the civilities of your sisters of your family You forbid them not
You expect not an answer madam to that question My sisters will be glad and so will their Lords to attend you whereever you please with a hope to make England agreeable to you
How long do you propose to stay in Italy Sir
It is not possible for me to determine.
Are you not apprehensive of danger to your person
I am not
You ought to be
No danger shall deter me from doing what I think to be right If my motives justify me I cannot fear
Do you wish me Sir to stay in England till your return
A question so home put disturbed him Was it a prudent one in the Lady It must either subject her to a repulse or him by a polite answer to give her hope that her stay in England might not be fruitless as to the view she had in coming He reddened It is fit answered he that your own pleasure should determine you It did pardon me madam in your journey hither
She reddened to her very ears Your brother Ladies has the reputation of being a polite man Bear witness to this instance of it I am ashamed of myself
If I am unpolite madam my sincerity will be my excuse at least to my own heart
O that inflexible heart But Ladies if the inhospitable Englishman refuse his protection in his own
country to a foreign woman of no mean quality Do not you his sisters despise her
They madam and their Lords will render you every chearful service Let me request you my sisters to make England as agreeable as possible to this Lady She is of the first consideration in her own country She will be of such whereever she goes My Lady Maffei deserves likewise your utmost respect Then addressing himself to them Ladies said he encourage my sisters They will think themselves honoured by your commands
The two sisters confirmed in an obliging manner what their brother had said and both Ladies acknowleged themselves indebted to them for their offered friendship But Lady Olivia seemed not at all satisfied with her brother And it was with some difficulty he prevailed on her to return to the company and drink coffee
I could not help reflecting on occasion of this Ladys conduct that fathers and mothers are great blessings to daughters in particular even when women grown It is not every woman that will shine in a state of independency Great fortunes are snares If independent women escape the machinations of men which they have often a difficulty to do they will frequently be hurried by their own imaginations which are said to be livelier than those of men tho their judgments are supposed less into inconveniencies Had Lady Olivias parents or uncles lived she hardly would have been permitted to make the tour of Europe And not having so great a fortune to support vagaries would have shone as she is well qualified to do in a dependent state in Italy and made some worthy man and herself haappy
Had she a mind great enough to induce her to pity Clementina I should have been apt to pity her for I saw her soul was disturbed I saw that the man she loved was not able to return her Love A pitiable
case I saw a starting tear nowandthen with difficulty disperted Once she rubbed her eye and being conscious of observation said something had got into it So it had The something was a tear Yet she looked with haughtiness and her besom swelled with indignation ill concealed
Sir Charles repeated his recommendation of her to Lord L and Lord G They offered their best services Lord W invited her and all of us to Windsor Different parties of pleasure were talked of But still the Enlivener of every party was not to be in any one of them She tried to look pleased but did not always succeed in the trial An eye of Love and Anger mingled was often cast upon the man whom everybody loved Her bosom heaved as it seemed sometimes with indignation against herself That was the construction which I made of some of her looks
Lady Maffei however seemed pleased with the parties of pleasure talked of She often directed herself to me in Italian I answered her in it as well as I could I do not talk it well But as I am not an Italian and little more than booklearned in it for it is a long time ago since I lost my grandpappa who used to converse with me in it and in French I was not scrupulous to answer in it To have forborne because I did not excel in what I had no opportunity to excel in would have been false modesty nearly bordering upon pride Were any Lady to laugh at me for not speaking well her native tongue I would not return the smile were she to be less perfect in mine than I am in hers But Lady Olivia made me a compliment on my faulty accent when I acknowleged it to be so Signora said she you shew us that a pretty mouth can give beauty to a defect A master teaching you added she would perhaps find some fault but a friend conversing with you must be in love with you for the very imperfection
Sir Charles was generously pleased with the compliment and made her a fine one on her observation
He attended the two Ladies to their lodgings in his coach He owned to Dr Bartlett that Lady Olivia was in tears all the way lamenting her disgrace in coming to England just as he was quitting it and wishing she had stayd at Florence She would have engaged him to correspond with her He excused himself It was a very afflicting thing to him he told the doctor to deny any request that was made to him especially by a Lady But he thought he ought in conscience and honour to forbear giving the shadow of an expectation that might be improved into hope where none was intended to be given Heaven he said had for laudable ends implanted such a regard in the Sexes towards each other that both man and woman who hoped to be innocent could not be too circumspect in relation to the friendships they were so ready to contract with each other He thought he had gone a great way in recommending an intimacy between her and his sisters considering her views her spirit her preservance and the free avowal of her regard for him and her menaces on his supposed neglect of her And yet as she had come over and he was obliged to leave England so soon after her arrival he thought he could not do less And he hoped his sisters from whose examples she might be benefited would while she behaved prudently cultivate her acquaintance
The doctor tells me that now Lady Olivia is so unexpectedly come hither in person he thinks it best to decline giving me as he had once intended her history at large but will leave so much of it as may satisfy my curiosity to be gathered from my own observation and not only from the violence and haughtiness of her temper but from the freedom of her declarations He is sure he said that his patron will be best pleased that a veil should be thrown over the weaker part of her conduct which were it known would indeed be glorious to Sir Charles but not so to
the Lady who however never was suspected even by her enemies of giving any other man reason to tax her with a thought that was not strictly virtuous And she had engaged his Piety and Esteem for the sake of her other fine qualities tho she could not his Love Before she saw him which it seems was at the opera at Florence for the first time when he had an opportunity to pay her some slight civilities she set all men at defiance
Tomorrow morning Sir Charles is to breakfast with me My cousins and I are to dine at Lord Ls The Earl and Lady Gertrude are also to be there Lord W has been prevailed upon to stay and be there also as it is his nephews last day in England—
Last day in England
O my Lucy What words are those—Lady L has invited Lady Olivia and her aunt at her own motion Sir Charles his time being so short not disapproving
I thank my grandmamma and aunt for their kind summons I will soon set may day I will my dear soon set my day
Friday Noon Apr 14
NOT five hours in bed not one hours rest for many uneasy nights before I was stupid till Sir Charles came I then was better He enquired with tender looks and voice after my health as if he thought I did not look well
We had some talk about Lord and Lady G He was anxious for their happiness He complimented me with hopes from my advice to her Lord G he said was a goodnatured honest man If he thought his sister would make him unhappy he should himself be so
I told him that I dared to answer for her heart My Lord must bear with some innocent foibles and all would be well
We then talked of Lady Olivia He began the subject by asking me my opinion of her I said she was a very fine woman in her person and that she had an air of grandeur in her mien
And she has good qualities said he but she is violent in her passions I am frequently grieved for her She is a fine creature in danger of being lost by being made too soon her own mistress
He said not one word of his departure tomorrow morning I could nor begin it my heart would not let me my spirits were not high And I am afraid if that key had been touched I should have been too visibly affected My cousins forbore upon the same apprehension
He was excessively tender and soothing to me in his air his voice his manner I thought of what Emily said that his voice when he spoke of me was the voice of Love Dear flattering girl—But why did she flatter me
We talked of her next He spoke of her with the tenderness of a father He besought me to love her He praised her heart
Emily said I venerates her guardian She never will do any-thing contrary to his advice
She is very young replied he She will be happy madam in yours She both loves and reverences you
I greatly love the dear Emily Sir She and I shall be always sisters
How happy am I in your goodness to her Permit me madam to enumerate to you my own felicities in that of my dearest friends
Mr Beauchamp is now in the agreeable situation I have long wished him to be in His prudence and obliging behaviour to his motherinlaw have won
her His father grants him everything thro•gh her and she by this means finds that power enlarged which she was afraid would be lessened it the s n were allowed to come over How just is this reward of his filial duty
Thus Lucy did he give up the merit to his Beauchamp which was solely due to himself
Lord W he hoped would be soon one of the happiest men in England And the whole Mansfield family had now fair prospects opening before them
Emily Not be you see had made it the interest of her mother to be quiet
Lord and Lady L gave him pleasure whenever he saw them or thought of them
Dr Bartlett was in Heaven while on earth He would retire to his beloved Grandisonhall and employ himself in distributing as objects offered at least a thousand pounds of the three thousand bequeathed to charitable uses by his late friend Mr Danby His sisters fortune was paid His estates in both kingdoms were improving—See madam said he how like the friend of my Soul I claim your attention to affairs that are of consequence to myself and in some of which your generosity of heart has interested you
I bowed Had I spoken I had burst into tears I had something arose in my throat I know not what Still thought I excellent man you are not yourself happy—O pity pity Yet Lucy he plainly had been enumerating all these things to take off from my mind that impression which I am afraid he too well knows it is affected with from his difficult situation
And now madam resumed he how are all my dear and good friends whom you more particularly call yours—I hope to have the honour of a personal knowlege of them When heard you from our good Mr Deane He is well I hope
Very well Sir
Your grandmamma Shirley that ornament of advanced years
I bowed I dared not trust to my voice
Your excellent aunt Selby
I bowed again
Your uncle your Lucy your Nancy Happy family All harmony all love—How do they
I wiped my eyes
Is there any service in my power to do them or any of them Command me good Miss Byron if there be My Lord W and I are one Our Influence is not small—Make me still more happy in the power of serving any one favoured by you
You oppress me Sir by your goodness—I cannot speak my grateful sensibilities
Will you my dear Mr Reeves Will you madam to my cousin employ me in any way that I can be of use to you either abroad or at home Your acquaintance has given me great pleasure To what a family of worthies has this excellent young Lady introduced me
O Sir said Mrs Reeves tears running down her cheeks that you were not to leave people whom you have made so happy in the knowlege of the best of men
Indispensable calls must be obeyed my dear Mrs Reeves If we cannot be as happy as we wish we will rejoice in the happiness we can have We must not be our own carvers—But I make you all serious I was enumerating as I told you my present felicities I was rejoicing in your friendships I have joy and I presume to say I will have joy There is a bright side in every event I will not lose sight of it And there is a dark one but I will endeavour to see it only with the eye of prudence that I may not be involved by it at unawares Who that is not reproached by his own heart and is blessed with health can grieve for inevitable evils evils that can be only evils as we
make them so Forgive my seriousness My dear friends you make me grave Favour me I beseech you my good Miss Byron with one lesson We shall be too much engaged perhaps byandby
He led me I thought it was with a chearful air but my cousins both say his eyes glistened to the harpsichord He sung unasked but with a low voice and my mind was calmed O Lucy How can I part with such a man How can I take my leave of him—But perhaps he has taken his leave of me already as to the solemnity of it in the manner I have recited
Saturday Morning Apr 15
O Lucy Sir Charles Grandison is gone Gone indeed He sat out at three this morning on purpose no doubt to spare his sisters and the two brothersinlaw and Lord W as well as himself concern We broke not up till after two Were I in the writing humour which I have never known to fail me till now I could dwell upon an hundred things some of which I can now only briefly mention
Dinnertime yesterday passed with tolerable chearfulness Every one tried to be chearful O what pain attends loving too well and being too well beloved He must have pain as well as we
Lady Olivia was the most thoughtful at dinnertime yet p••r Emily Ah the poor Emily she went out four or five times to weep tho only I perceived it
Nobody was chearful after dinner but Sir Charles He seemed to exert himself to be so He prevailed on me to give them a lesson on the harpsichord Lady L played Lady G played We tried to play I should rather say He himself took the violin and
afterwards sat down to the harpsichord for one short lesson He was not known to be such a master But he was long in Italy Lady Olivia indeed knew him to be so She was induced to play upon the harpsichord She surpassed everybody Italy is the land of harmony
About seven at night he singled me out and surprised me greatly by what he said He told me that Lady D had made him a visit I was before low I was then ready to sink She has asked me questions madam
Sir Sir was all I could say
He himself trembled as he spoke—Alas my dear he surely loves me Hear how solemnly he spoke—God Almighty be your director my dear Miss Byron I wish not more happiness to my own Soul than I do to you—In discharge of a promise made I mention this visit to you I might otherwise have spared you and myself—
He stopt there—Then resumed for I was silent—I could not speak—Your friends will be entreated for a man that loves you a very worthy young nobleman—I give you emotion madam—Forgive me—I have performed my promise He turned from me with a seeming chearful air How could he appear to be chearful
We made parties at cards I knew not what I played Emily sighed and tears stole down her cheeks as she played O how she loves her guardian Emily I say—I dont know what I write
At supper we were all very melancholy Mr Beauchamp was urgent to go abroad with him He changed the subject and gave him an indirect denial as I may call it by recommending the two Italian Ladies to his best services
Sir Charles kind good excellent wished to Lord L to have seen Mr Grandison—Unworthy as that man has made himself of his attention
He was a few moments in private with Lady Olivia She returned to company with red eyes
Poor Emily watched an opportunity to be spoken to by him alone—So diligently He led her to the window—About one o clock it was—He held both her hands He called her she says his Emily He charged her to write to him
She could not speak she could only sob yet thought she had a thousand things to say to him
He contradicted not the hope his sisters and their Lords had of his breakfasting with them They invited me they invited the Italian Ladies Lady L Lord L did go in expectation But Lady G when she found him gone sent me and the Italian Ladies word that he was It would have been cruel if she had not How could he steal away so I find that he intended that his morning visit to me as indeed I half suspected should be a taking leave of my cousins and your Harriet How many things did he say then—How many questions ask—In tender woe—He wanted to do us all service—He seemed not to know what to say—Surely he hates not your poor Harriet—What struggles in his noble bosom—But a man cannot complain A man cannot ask for compassion as a woman can But surely his is the gentlest of manly minds
When we broke up he handed my cousin Reeves into her coach He handed me Mr Reeves said We see you again Sir Charles in the morning He bowed At handing me in he sighed—He pressed my hand—I think he did—That was all—He saluted nobody—He will not meet his Clementina as he parted with us
But I doubt not Dr Bartlet was in the secret
He was He has just been here He found my eyes swelled I had had no rest yet knew not till seven oclock that he was gone
It was very good of the doctor to come His visit soothed me Yet he took no notice of my red eyes Nay for that matter Mrs Reevess eyes were swelled as well as mine Angel of a man How is he beloved
The doctor says that his Sisters their Lords Lord W are in as much grief as if he were departed for ever—And who knows—But I will not torment my self with supposing the worst I will endeavour to bear in mind what he said yesterday morning to us no doubt for an instruction that he would have joy
And did he then think that I should be so much grieved as to want such an instruction—And therefore did he vouchsafe to give it—But vanity be quiet—Lie down hope—Hopelesness take place—Clementina shall be his He shall be hers
Yet his emotion Lucy at mentioning Lady Ds visit—O but that was only owing to his humanity He saw my emotion and acknowleged the tenderest friendship for me Ought I not to be satisfied with that I am I will be satisfied Does he not love me with the love of mind The poor Olivia has not this to comfort herself with The poor Olivia If I see her sad and afflicted how I shall pity her All her expectations frustrated the expectations that engaged her to combat difficulties to travel to cross many waters and to come to England—to come just time enough to take leave of him he hastening on the wings of Love and Compassion to a dearer a deservedly dearer object in the country she had quitted on purpose to visit him in his—Is not hers a more grievous situation than mine—It is Why then do I lament
But here Lucy let me in confidence hint what I have gathered from several intimations from Dr Bartlett tho as tenderly made by him as possible that had Sir Charles Grandison been a man capable of taking advantage of the violence of a Ladys passion
for him the unhappy Olivia would not have scrupled great haughty and noble as she is by birth and fortune to have been his without conditions if she could not have been so with The Italian world is of this opinion at least Had Sir Charles been a Rinaldo Olivia had been an Armida
O that I could hope for the honour of the Sex and of the Lady who is so fine a woman that the Italian world is mistaken—I will presume that it is
My good Dr Bartlett will you allow me to accuse you of a virtue too rigorous That is sometimes the fault of very good people You own that Sir Charles has not even to you revealed a secret so disgraceful to her You own that he has only blamed her for having too little regard for her reputation and for the violence of her temper Yet how patiently for one of such a temper has she taken his departure almost on the day of her arrival He could not have given her an opportunity to indicate to him a concession so criminal She could not if he had have made the overture Wicked wicked world I will not believe you And the less credit shall you have with me Italian world as I have seen the Lady The innocent heart will be a charitable one Lady Olivia is only too intrepid Prosperity as Sir Charles observed has been a snare to her and set her above a proper regard to her reputation—Merciless world I do not love you Dear Dr Bartlett you are not yet absolutely perfect These hints of yours against Olivia gathered from the malevolence of the envious are proofs the first indeed that I have ever met with of your imperfection
Excuse me Lucy How have I run on Disappointment has mortified me and made me goodnatured—I will welcome adversity if it enlarge my charity
The doctor tells me that Emily with her halfbroken heart will be here presently If I can be of
comfort to her—But I want it myself from the same cause We shall only weep over each other
As I told you the doctor and the doctor only knew of his setting out so early He took leave of him Happy Dr Bartlett—Yet I see by his eyes that this parting cost him some paternal tears
Never father better loved a son than this good man loves Sir Charles Grandison
Sir Charles it seems had settled all his affairs three days before His servants were appointed Richard Saunders is one of the three he has taken with him Happy servants to be every day in the presence of such a master
The doctor tells me that he had last week presented the elder Mr Oldham with a pair of Colours which he had purchased for him Nobody had heard of this
Lord W he says is preparing for Windsor Mr Beauchamp for Hampshire for a few days and then he returns to attend the commands of the noble Italians Lady Olivia will soon have her equipage ready She will make a great appearance But Sir CHARLES GRANDISON will not be with her What is grandeur to a disturbed heart The Earl of G and Lady Gertrude are setting out for Hertfordshire Lord and Lady L talk of retiring for a few weeks to Colnebrooke The Doctor is preparing for Grandisonhall your poor Harriet for Northamptonshire—Bless me my dear what a dispersion—But Lord Ws nuptials will collect some of them together at Windsor
EMILY the dear weeping girl is just come She is with my cousins She expects my permission for coming up to me Imagine us weeping over each other praying for blessing the guardian of us both Your imagination cannot form a scene too tender Adieu my Lucy
Sunday April 16
O What a blank my dear—But I need not say what I was going to say Poor Emily—But to mention her grief is to paint my own
Lord W went to Windsor Yesterday
A very odd behaviour of Lady Olivia Mr Beauchamp went yesterday and offered to attend her to any of the publick places at her pleasure in pursuance of Sir Charless reference to him to do all in his power to make England agreeable to her And she thought fit to tell him before her aunt that she thanked him for his civility but she should not trouble him during her stay in England She had gentlemen in her train and one of them had been in England before—He left her in disgust
Lady L making her a visit in the evening she told her of Mr Beauchamps offer and of her answer The gentleman said she is a polite and very agreeable man and this made me treat his kind offer with abruptness For I can hardly doubt your brothers view in it I scorn his view And if I were sure of it perhaps I should find a way to make him repent of the Indignity Lady L was sure she said that neither her brother nor Mr Beauchamp had any other views than to make England as agreeable to her as possible
Be this as it may madam said she I have no service for Mr Beauchamp But if your Ladyship your sister and your two Lords will allow me to cultivate your friendship you will do me honour Dr Bartletts company will be very agreeable to me likewise as often as he will give it me To Miss Jervois I lay some little claim I would have had her for my
companion in Italy but your cruel brother—No more however of him Your English beauty too I admire her But poor young creature I admire her the more because I can pity her I should think myself very happy to be better acquainted with her
Lady L made her a very polite answer for herself and her sister and their Lords But told her that I was very soon to set out for my own abode in Northamptonshire and that Dr Bartlett had some commissions which would oblige him in a day or two to go to Sir Charless seat in the country She herself offered to attend her to Windsor and to every other place at her command
LADY L took notice of her wrist being bound round with a broad black ribband and asked If it were hurt A kind of sprain said she But you little imagine how it came and must not ask
This made Lady L curious And Olivia requesting that Emily might be allowed to breakfast with her as this morning she has bid the dear girl endeavour to know how it came if it fell in her way For Olivia reddened and looked up with a kind of consciousness, to Lady L when she told her that she must not ask questions about it
Lady G is very earnest with me to give into the towndiversions for a month to come But I have now no desire in my heart so strong as to throw myself at the feet of my grandmamma and aunt and to be embraced by my Lucy and Nancy and all my Northamptonshire Loves I am only afraid of my uncle He will railly his Harriet yet only I know in hopes to divert her and us all But my jesting days are over My situation will not bear it Yet if it will divert himself let him railly
I shall be so much importuned to stay longer than I ought or will stay that I may as well fix a peremptory day at once Will you my ever indulgent
friends allow me to set out for Selbyhouse on Friday next Not on a Sunday as Lady Betty Williams advises for fear of the odious waggons But I have been in a different school Sir Charles Grandison I find makes it a tacit rule with him Never to begin a journey on a Sunday nor except when in pursuit of works of mercy or necessity to travel in time of Divine Service And this rule he observed last Sunday tho he reached us here in the evening O my grandmamma How much is he what you all are and ever have been—But he is now pursuing a work of mercy God succeed to him the end of his pursuit
But why tacit you will ask Is Sir Charles Grandison ashamed to make an open appearance in behalf of his Christian duties He is not For instance I have never seen him sit down at his own table in the absence of Dr Bartlett or some other clergyman but he himself says grace and that with such an easy dignity as commands every ones reverence and which is succeeded by a chearfulness that looks as if he were the better pleased for having shewn a thankful heart
Dr Bartlett has also told me that he begins and ends every day either in his Chamber or in his Study in a manner worthy of one who is in earnest in his Christian profession But he never frights gay company with grave maxims I remember one day Mr Grandison asked him in his absurd way Why he did not preach to his Company nowandthen Faith Sir Charles said he if you did you would reform many a poor ignorant sinner of us since you could do it with more weight and more certainty of attention than any parson in Christendom
It would be an affront said Sir Charles to the understanding, as well as education of a man who took rank above a peasant in such a country as this to seem to question whether he knew his general duties or not and the necessity of practising what he knew
of them If he should be at a loss he may once a week be reminded and his heart kept warm Let you and me cousin Everard shew our conviction by our practice and not invade the clergymans province
I remember that Mr Grandison shewed his conviction by his blushes and by repeating the three little words You and me Sir Charles
Sunday Evening
O MY dear friends I have a strange a shocking piece of intelligence to give you Emily has just been with me in tears She begged to speak with me in private When we were alone she threw her arms about my neck Ah madam said she I am come to tell you that there is a person in the world that I hate and must and will hate as long as I live It is Lady Olivia—Take me down with you into Northamptonshire and never let me see her more
I was surprised
O madam I have found out that she would on Thursday last have killed my guardian
I was astonished Lucy
They retired together you know madam My guardian came from her his face in a glow and he sent in his sister to her and went not in himself till afterwards She would have had him put off his journey She was enraged because he would not and they were high together and at last she pulled out of her stays in fury a poniard and vowed to plunge it into his heart He should never she said see his Clementina more He went to her Her heart failed her Well it might you know madam He seized her hand He took it from her She struggled and in struggling her wrist was hurt thats the meaning of the broad black ribband—Wicked creature to have such a thought in her heart—He only said when he had got it from her Unhappy violent woman I return not this instrument
of mischief You will have no use for it in England—And would not let her have it again
I shuddered O my dear said I he has been a sufferer we are told by good women but this is not a good woman But can it be true Who informed you of it
Lady Maffei herself She thought that Sir Charles must have spoken of it And when she found he had not she was sorry she had and begged I would not tell anybody But I could not keep it from you And she says that Lady Olivia is grieved on the remembrance of it and arraigns herself and her wicked passion and the more for his noble forgiveness of her on the spot and recommending her afterwards to the civilities of his sisters and their Lords But I hate her for all that
Poor unhappy Olivia said I But what my Emily are we women who should be the meekest and tenderest of the whole animal creation when we give way to passion But if she is so penitent let not the shocking attempt be known to his sisters or their Lords I may take the liberty of mentioning it in strict confidence Observe that Lucy to those from whom I keep not any secret But let it not be divulged to any of the relations of Sir Charles Their detestation of her which must follow would not be concealed and the unhappy creature made desperate might—Who knows what she might do
The dear girl ran on upon what might have been the consequence and what a loss the world would have had if the horrid fact had been perpetrated Lady Maffci told her however that had not her heart relented she might have done him mischief for he was too rash in approaching her She fell down on her knees to him as soon as he had wrested the poniard from her I forgive and pity you madam said he with an air that had as Olivia and he• aunt have recollected since both majesty and company a
in it But he would withdraw Yet at her request sent in Lady L to her and going into his Study told not even Dr Bartlett of it tho he went to him there immediately
From the consciousness of this violence perhaps the Lady was more temperate afterwards even to the very time of his departure
LORD bless me What shall I do Lady D has sent a card to let me know that she will wait upon Mrs Reeves and me tomorrow to breakfast She comes no doubt to tell me that Sir Charles having no thoughts of Harriet Byron Lord D may have hopes of succeeding with her And perhaps her Ladyship will plead Sir Charless recommendation and interest in Lord Ds favour But should this plea be made good Heaven give me patience I am afraid I shall be uncivil to this excellent woman
Monday April 17
THE Countess is just gone
Mr Reeves was engaged before to breakfast with Lady Betty Williams and we were only Mrs Reeves Lady D and I
My heart aked at her entrance and every moment still more as we were at breakfast Her looks I thought had such particular kindness and meaning in them as seemed to express
You have no hopes Miss Byron anywhere else and I will have you to be mine
But my suspence was over the moment the teatable was removed I see your confusion my dear said the Countess Mrs Reeves you must not leave us and I have sat in pain for you as I saw it increase
By this I know that Sir Charles Grandison has been as good as his word Indeed I doubted not but he would I dont wonder my dear that you love him He is the finest man in his manners as well as person that I ever saw A woman of virtue and honour cannot but love him But I need not praise him to you nor to you neither Mrs Reeves I see that
Now you must know proceeded she that there is an alliance proposed for my son of which I think very well but still should have thought better had I never seen you my dear I have talked to my Lord about it You know I am very desirous to have him married His answer was I never can think of any proposal of this nature while I have any hope that I can make myself acceptable to Miss Byron
What think you my Lord said I if I should directly apply to Sir Charles Grandison to know his intentions and whether he has any hopes of obtaining her favour He is said to be the most unreserved of men He knows our characters to be as unexceptionable as his own and that our alliance cannot be thought a discredit to the first family in the kingdom It is a free question I own as I am unacquainted with him by person But he is such a man that methinks I can take pleasure in addressing myself to him on any subject
My Lord smiled at the freedom of my motion but not disapproving it I directly went to Sir Charles and after due compliments told him my business
The Countess stopt She is very penctrating She looked at us both
Well madam said my cousin with an air of curiosity—Pray your Ladyship—
I could not speak for very impatience—
I never heard in my life said the Countess such a fine character of any mortal as he gave you He told me of his engagements to go abroad as the very next day He highly extolled the Lady for whose
sake principally he was obliged to go abroad and he spoke as highly of a brother of hers whom he loved as if he were his own brother and mentioned very affectionately the young Ladys whole family
God only knows said he what may be my destiny—As generosity as justice or rather as Providence leads I will follow
After he had generously opened his heart proceeded the Countess I asked him if he had any hope should the foreign Lady recover her health of her being his
I can promise myself nothing said he I go over without one selfish hope If the Lady recover her health and her brother can be amended in his by the assistance I shall carry over with me I shall have joy inexpressible To Providence I leave the rest The result cannot be in my own power
Then Sir proceeded the Countess you cannot in honour be under any engagements to Miss Byron
I arose from my seat Whither my dear—I have done if I oppress you I moved my chair behind hers but so close to hers that I leaned on the back of it my face hid and my eyes running over She stood up Sit down again madam said I and proceed—Pray proceed You have excited my curiosity Only let me sit here unheeded behind you
Pray madam said Mrs Reeves burning also with curiosity as she has since owned go on and indulge my cousin in her present seat What answer did Sir Charles return
My dear Love said the Countess sitting down as I had requested let me first be answered one question I would not do mischief
You cannot do mischief madam replied I What is your Ladyships question
Has Sir Charles Grandison ever directly made his addresses to you my dear
Never madam
It is not for want of love I dare aver that he has not But thus he answered my question
I should have thought myself the unworthiest of men knowing the difficulties of my own situation how great soever were the temptation from Miss Byrons merit if I had sought to engage her affections
O Lucy How nobly is his whole conduct towards me justified
She has madam proceeded the Countess in his words a prudence that I never knew equalled in a woman so young With a frankness of mind to which hardly ever young Lady before her had pretensions she has such a command of her affections that no man I dare say will ever have a share in them till he has courted her favour by assiduities which shall convince her that he has no heart but for her
O my Lucy What an honour to me would these sentiments be if I deserved them And can Sir Charles Grandison think I do I hope so But if he does how much am I indebted to his favourable his generous opinion I Who knows but I have reason to rejoice rather than to regret as I used to do his frequent absences from Colnebrooke
The Countess proceeded
Then Sir you will not take it amiss if my son by his assiduities can prevail upon Miss Byron to think that he has merit and that his heart is wholly devoted to her
Amiss madam—No—In justice in honour I cannot May Miss Byron be as she deserves to be one of the happiest women on earth in her nuptials I have heard a great character of Lord D He has a very large estate He may boast of his mother—God forbid that I a man divided in myself not knowing what I can do hardly sometimes what I ought to do should seek to involve in my own uncertainties the friend I revere the woman I
so greatly admire Her beauty so attracting so proper therefore for her to engage a generous protector in the married state
Generous man thought I O how my tears ran down my cheeks as I hid my face behind the Countesss chair
But will you allow me Sir proceeded the Countess to ask you Were you freed from all your uncertainties—
Permit me madam interrupted he to spare you the question you were going to put Miss Byron may come to hear the substance of a conversation that is of a very delicate nature—As I know not what will be the result of my journey abroad I should think myself a very selfish man and a very dishonourable one to two Ladies of equal delicacy and worthiness if I sought to involve as I hinted before in my own uncertainties a young Lady whose prudence and great qualities must make herself and any man happy whom she shall favour with her hand
To be still more explicit proceeded he With what face could I look up to a woman of honour and delicacy such a one as the Lady before whom I now stand if I could own a wish that while my honour has laid me under obligation to one Lady if she shall be permitted to accept of me I should presume to hope that another no less worthy would hold her favour for me suspended till she saw what would be the issue of the first obligation No madam I could sooner die than offer such indignity to BOTH I am fettered added he but Miss Byron is free And so is the Lady abroad My attendance on her at this time is indispensable but I make not any conditions for myself—My reward will be in the consciousness of having discharged the obligations that I think myself under as a man of honour
The countesss voice changed in repeating this speech of his And she stopt to praise him and then went on
You are THE man indeed Sir—But then give me leave to ask you As I think it very likely that you will be married before you return to England Whether now that you have been so good as to speak favourably of my son and that you call Miss Byron Sister you will oblige him with a recommendation to that sister
The Countess of D shews by this request her value for a young Lady who deserves it and the more for its being I think Excuse me madam a pretty extraordinary one But what a presumption would it be in me to suppose that I had SUCH an interest with Miss Byron when she has relations as worthy of her as she is of them
You may guess my dear said the Countess that I should not have put this question but as a trial of his heart However I asked his pardon and told him that I would not believe he gave it me except he would promise to mention to Miss Byron that I had made him a visit on this subject Methinks Lucy I should have been glad that he had not let me know that he was so forgiving
And now my dear said the Lady let me turn about—She did and put one arm round my neck and with my own handkerchief wiped my eyes and kissed my cheek and when she saw me a little recovered she addressed me as follows
Now my good young creature O that you would let me call you daughter in my own way for I think I must always call you so whether you do or not let me ask you as if I were your real mother
Have you any expectation that Sir Charles Grandison will be yours
Dear madam Is not this as hard a question to be put to me as that which you put to him
Yes my dear—full as hard And I am as ready to ask your pardon as I was his if you are really displeased with me for putting it Are you Miss Byron Excuse me Mrs Reeves for thus urging your lovely cousin I am at least entitled to the excuse Sir Charles Grandison made for me that it is a demonstration of my value for her
I have declared madam returned I and it is from my heart that I think he ought to be the husband of the Lady abroad And tho I prefer him to all the men I ever saw yet I have resolved if possible to conquer the particular regard I have for him He has in a very noble manner offered me his friendship so long as it may be accepted without interfering with any other attachments on my part And I will be satisfied with that
A friendship so pure replied the Countess as that of such a man is consistent with any other attachments My Lord D will with his whole Soul contribute all in his power to strengthen it He admires Sir Charles Grandison He would think it a double honour to be acquainted with him through you Dearest Miss Byron take another worthy young man into your friendship but with a tenderer name I shall then claim a fourth place in it for myself O my dear What a quadruple knot will you tie
Your Ladyship does me too much honour was all I could just then reply
I must have an answer my dear I will not take up with a compliment
This then madam is my answer—I hope I am an honest creature I have not a heart to give
Then you have expectations my dear—Well I will call you mine if I can Never did I think that I could have made the proposal that I am going to make you But in my eyes as well as in my Lords you are an incomparable young woman—This is it—We will not think of the alliance proposed to us It
is yet but a proposal and to which we have not returned any answer till we see what turn the affair Sir Charles is gone upon takes You once said you could prefer my son to any of the men that had hitherto applied to you for your favour Your affections to Sir Charles were engaged before you knew us Will you allow my son this preference which will be the first preference if Sir Charles engages himself abroad
Your Ladyship surprises me Shall I not improve by the example you have just now set before me Who was it that said and a man too
With what face could I look up to a woman of honour and delicacy such a one as the Lady before whom I now stand if I could own a wish that whil
my heart leaned to one person I should think of keeping another in suspence till I saw whether I could or could not be the others
No madam I would sooner die as Sir Charles said than offer such an indignity to both
But I know madam that you only made this proposal as you did another to Sir Charles Grandison as a trial of my heart
Upon my word my dear I should I think be glad to be entitled to such an excuse But I was really in earnest and now take a little shame to myself
What charming ingenuousness in this Lady
She claspd her arms about me and kissed my cheek again I have but one plea to make for myself I could not have fallen into such an error the example so recently given to the contrary had I not wished you to be before any woman in the world Countess of D—Noble Creature No title can give you dignity May your own wishes be granted
My cousins eyes ran over with pleasure
The Countess asked When I returned to Northhamptonshire I told her my intention She charged me to see her first But I can tell you said she my Lord shall not be present when you come Not once
more will I trust him in your company and if he should steal a visit unknown to me let not your cousin see him Mrs Reeves He does indeed admire you Love looking at me
I acknowleged with a grateful heart her goodness to me She engaged me to correspond with her when I got home Her commands were an honour done me that I could not refuse myself Her son she smilingly told me should no more see my Letters than my Person
At her going away—I will tell you one thing said she I never before in a business which my heart was set upon was so effectually silenced by a precedent produced by myself in the same conversation I came with an assurance of success When our hearts are engaged in a hope we are apt to think every step we take for the promoting it reasonable Our passions my dear will evermore run away with our judgment But now I think of it I must when I say our make two exceptions one for you and one for Sir Charles Grandison
But Lucy tell me—May I do you think explain the meaning of the word SELFISH used by Sir Charles in the conclusion of the Libraryconference at Colnebrooke and which puzzled me then to make out by his disclaiming of selfishness in the conversation with the Countess above recited If I may what an opening of his heart does that word give in my favour were he at liberty Does it not look my dear as if hs Honour checked him when his Love would have prompted him to wish me to preserve my heart disengaged till his return from abroad Nor let it be said that it was dishonourable in him to have such a thought as it was checked and overcome and as it was succeeded by such an emotion that he was obliged to depart abruptly from me—Let me repeat the words—You may not have my Letter at hand which relates that affecting address to me and it is impossible for
me while I have memory to forget them He had just concluded his brief history of Clementina—
And now madam what can I say—Honour forbids me—Yet honour bids me—Yet I cannot be unjust ungenerous selfish
—If I may flatter myself Lucy that he did love me when he said this and that he had a conflict in his noble heart between the Love on one side so hopeless for I could not forgive him if he did not love as well as pity Clementina and on the other not so hopeless were there to have been no bar between—Shall we not pity him for the arduous struggle Shall we not see that honour carried it even in favour of the hopeless against the hopeful and applaud him the more for being able to overcome How shall we call virtue by its name if it be not tried and if it hath no contest with inclination
If I am a vain selfflatterer tell me chide me Lucy but allow me however at the same time this praise if I can make good my claim to it that my conquest of my passion is at least as glorious for me as his is for him were he to love me ever so well since I can most sincerely however painfully subscribe to the preference which Honour Love Compassion unitedly give to CLEMENTINA
Monday Night
MY cousins and I by invitation suppd with Lady G this afternoon Lord and Lady L were there Lady Olivia also and Lady Maffei
I have s•t them all into a consternation as they expressed themselves by my declaration of leaving London on my return home early on Friday morning next I knew that were I to pass the whole summer here I must be peremptory at last The two sisters vow
that I shall not go so soon They say that I have seen so few of the towndiversions—Towndiversions Lucy—I have had diversion enough of one sort—But in your arms my dear friends I shall have consolation—And I want it
I have great regrets and shall have hourly more as the day approaches on the leaving of such dear and obliging friends But I am determined
My cousins coach will convey me to Dunstable and there I know I shall meet with my indulgent uncle or your brother I would not have it publicly known because of the officious gentlemen in the neighbourhood
Dr Bartlett intended to set out for Grandisonhall tomorrow But from the natural kindness of his heart he has suspended his journey to Thursday next No consideration therefore shall detain me if I am well
My cousins are grieved They did not expect that I would be a word and a blow as they phrase it
Lady Olivia expressed herself concerned that she in particular was to lose me She had proposed great pleasure she said in the parties she should make in my company But after what Emily told me she appears to me as a Medusa and were I to be thought by her a formidable rival I might have as much reason to be afraid of the potion as the man she loves of the poniard Emily has kept the secret from everybody but me And I rely on the inviolable secrecy of all you▪ my friends
Lord and Lady L had designed to go to Colnebrooke tomorrow or at my day having hopes of getting me with them But now they say they will stay in town till they can see whether I am to be prevailed upon or will be obdurate
Lady Olivia enquired after the distance of North hamptonshire She will make the tour of England she says and visit me there I was obliged to say I should take her visit as an honour
Wicked Politeness Of how many falshoods dost thou make the people who are called polite guilty
But there is one man in the world who is remarkable for his truth yet is unquestionably polite He censures not others for complying with fashions established by custom but he gives not in to them He never perverts the meaning of words He never for instance suffers his servants to deny him when he is at home If he is busy he just finds time to say he is to unexpected visiters and if they will stay he turns them over to his Sisters to Dr Bartlett to Emily till he can attend them But then he has always done so Every one knows that he lives to his own heart and they expect it of him and when they can have his company they have double joy in the ease and chearfulness that attend his leisure They then have him wholly And he can be the more polite as the company then is all his business
Sir Charles might the better do so as he came over so few months ago after so long an absence and his reputation for politeness was so well established that people rather looked for rules from him than a conformity to theirs
His denials of complimenting Lady Olivia tho she was but just arrived in his native country where she never was before with the suspending of his departure for one week or but for one day—Who but he could have given them But he was convinced that it was right to hasten away for the sake of Clementina and his Jeronymo and that it would have been wrong to shew Olivia even for her own sake that in such a compeition she had consequence with him and all her entreaties all her menaces the detested poniard in her hand could not shake his steady soul and make him delay his wellsettled purpose
Tuesday Morning April 18
THIS naughty Lady G—She is excessively to blame Lord L is out of patience with her So is Lady L Emily says she loves her dearly but she does not love her ways Lord G as Emily tells me talks of coming to me the cause of quarrel supposed to be not great But trifles insisted upon make frequently the widest breaches Whatever it be it is between themselves and neither cares to tell But Lord and Lady L are angry with her for the ludicrous manner in which she treats him
The misunderstanding happened after my cousin and I left them last night I was not in spirits and declined staying to cards Lady Olivia and her aunt went away at the same time Whist was the game Lord and Lady L Dr Bartlett and Emily were cast in In the midst of their play Lady G came hurrying down stairs to them warbling an air Lord G followed her much disturbed Madam I must tell you said he—Why MUST my Lord I dont bid you
Sit still child said she to Emily and took her seat behind her—Who wins Who loses
Lord G walked about the room—Lord and Lady L were unwilling to take notice hoping it would go off for there had been a few livelinesses on her side at dinnertime tho all was serene at supper
Dr Bartlett offered her his cards She refused them—No doctor said she I will play my own cards I shall have enough to do to play them well
As you manage it so you will madam said Lord G
Dont expose yourself my Lord We are before company Lady L you have nothing but trumps in your hand
Let me saw a word or two to you madam said Lord G to her
I am all obedience my Lord
She arose He would have taken her hand She put it behind her
Not your hand madam
I cant spare it
He slung from her and went out of the room
Lord bless me said she returning to the cardtable with a gay unconcern What strange passionate creatures are these men
Charlotte said Lady L I wonder at you
Then I give you joy—
What do you mean sister—
We women love wonder and the wonderful
Surely Lady G said Lord L you are wrong
I give your Lordship joy too
On what
That my sister is always right
Indeed madam were I Lord G I should have no patience
A good hint for you Lady L I hope you will take this for a warning and be good
When I behave as you do Charlotte—
I understand you Lady L you need not speak out—Every one in their way
You would not behave thus were my brother—
Perhaps not
Dear Charlotte you are excessively wrong
So I think returned she
Why then do you not—
Mend Lady L All in good time
Her woman came in with a message expressing her Lords desire to see her—The duce is in these men They will neither be satisfied with us nor without us But I am all obedience No vow will I break—And out she went
Lord G not returning presently and Lord and
Lady Ls chariot being come they both took this opportunity in order to shew their displeasure to go away without taking leave of their sister Dr Bartlett retired to his apartment And when Lady G came down she was surprised and a little vexed to find only Emily there Lord G came in at another door—Upon my word my Lord this is strange behaviour in you You fright away with your husband like airs all ones company
Good God—I am astonished at you madam
What signifies your astonishment—When you have scared everybody out of the house
I madam
You Sir Yes You—Did you not lord it over me in my dressingroom—To be easy and quiet Did I not fly to our company in the drawingroom Did you not follow me there—with looks—Very pretty looks for a newmarried man I assure you Then did you not want to take me aside—Would not anybody have supposed it was to express your sorrow for your odd behaviour Was I not all obedience—Did you not with very mannish airs slight me for my compliance and fly out of the room All the company could witness the calmness with which I returned to them that they might not be grieved for me nor think our misunderstanding a deep one Well then when your stomach came down as I supposed you sent for me out No doubt thought I to express his concern now—I was all obedience again
And did I not beseech you madam—
Beseech me my Lord—Yes—But with such looks—I married Sir let me tell you a man with another face—See see Emily—He is gone again—
My Lord flew out of the room in a rage—O these men my dear said she to Emily
I know said Emily what I could have answered if I dared But it is ill meddling as I have heard say between man and wife
Emily says the quarrel was not made up but was carried higher still in the morning
She had but just finished her tale when the following billet was brought me from Lady G
Tuesday Morning
Harriet
IF you love me if you pity me come hither this instant I have great need of your counsel I am resolved to be unmarried and therefore subscribe myself by the beloved name of
CHARLOTTE GRANDISON
I instantly dispatched the following
I Know no such person as Charlotte Grandison I love Lady G but can pity only her Lord I will not come near you I have no counsel to give you but that you will not jest away your own happiness
HARRIET BYRON
In half an hour after came a servant from Lady G with the following Letter
SO then I have made a blessed hand of wedlock My brother gone My man excessive unruly Lord and Lady L on his side without enquiring into merits or demerits Lectured by Dr Bartletts grave face Emily standing aloof her finger in her eye And now my Harriet renouncing me And all in one week
What can I do—War seems to be declared And will you not turn mediatrix—You wont you say Let it alone Nevertheless I will lay the whole matter before you
It was last night the week from the weddingday not completed that Lord G thought fit to break into my retirement without my leave—By the way he was
a little impertinent at dinnertime but that I passed over—
What boldness is this said I—Pray Sir begone—Why leave you your company below
I come my dearest life to make a request to you
The man began with civility enough had he had a little less of his odious rapture for he flung his arms about me Jenny in presence A husbands fondness is enough to ruin these girls Dont you think Harriet that there is an immorality in it before them
I refuse your request be it what it will How dare you invade me in my retirement—You may believe that I intended not to stay long above my sister below Does the ceremony so lately past authorize want of breeding
Want of breeding madam—And he did so stare
Leave me this instant—I looked goodnatured I suppose in my anger for he declared he would not and again throwing his arms about me as I sat joined his sharp face to mine and presumed to kiss me Jenny still in the room
Now Harriet you never will desert me in a point of delicacy I am sure You cannot defend these odious freedoms in a matrimony so young unless you would be willing to be served so yourself
You may suppose that then I let loose my indignation upon him And he stole out daring to mutter and be displeased The word devil was in his mouth
Did he call me devil Jenny
No indeed madam said the wench—And Harriet see the ill example of such a free behaviour before her She presumed to prate in favour of the mans fit of fondness yet at other times is a prude of a girl
Before my anger was gone down in again It is truth Harriet came the bold wretch I will not
said he as you are not particularly employed leave you—Upon my soul madam you dont use me well But if you will oblige me with your company tomorrow morning—
Nowhere Sir—
Only to breakfast with Miss Byron my dear—As a mark of your obligingness I request it
His dear—Now I hate a hypocrite of all things I knew that he had a design to make a shew of his bride as his property at another place and seeing me angry thought he would name a visit agreeable to me and which at the same time would give him a merit with you and preserve to himself the consequence of being obliged by his obedient wife at the word of authority
From this foolish beginning arose our mighty quarrel What vexed me was the art of the man and the evident design he had to get you of his side He in the course of it threatened me with appealing to you—To intend to ruin me in the Love of my dearest friend Who that valued that friend could forgive it You may believe that if he had not proposed it and after such accumulated offences it was the very visit that I should have been delighted with
Indeed Sir—Upon my word my Lord—I do assure you Sir—with a moderate degree of haughtiness—was what the quarrel arose to on my side—And at last to a declaration of rebellion—I wont
On his side Upon my soul madam—Let me perish if—and then hesitating—You use me ill madam I have not deserved—And give me leave to say—I insist upon being obliged madam
There was no bearing of this Harriet—It was a cool evening but I took up my fan—Heyday said I what language is this—You insist upon it my Lord—I think I am married Am I not—And I took my watch Half an hour after ten on Monday night—the—What day of the month is this—Please
the Lord I will note down this beginning moment of your authoritative demeanour
My dear Lady G The wretch called me by his own name perhaps farther to insult me if I could bear this treatment it is impossible for me to love you as I do
So it is in Love to me that you are to put on already all the husband—Jenny Do you see my Lord affecting a whisper how you dash the poor wench How like a fool she looks at our folly Remember Jenny that tomorrow morning you carry my weddingsuits to Mrs Arnold and tell her she has forgot the hangingsleeves to the gowns Let her put them on out of hand
I was proceeding—But he rudely gravely and even with an air of scorn There was no bearing that you know admonished me A little less wit madam and a little more discretion would perhaps better become you
This was too true to be forgiven Youll say it Harriet if I dont And to come from a man that was not overburdened with either—But I had too great a command of myself to say so My dependence my Lord This I did say is upon your judgment That will always be a balance to my wit and with the assistance of your reproving Love will in time teach me discretion
Now my dear was not this a high compliment to him Ought he not to have taken it as such Especially as I looked grave and dropt him a very fine courtesy But either his conscience or his illnature perhaps youll say both made him take it as a reflexion True as you are alive Harriet He bit his lip Jenny begone said he—Jenny dont go said I—Jenny knew not which to obey Upon my word Harriet I began to think the man would have cuffd me—And while he was in his ails of mockmajesty I stept to the door and whipt down to my company
As married people are not to expose themselves to their friends who I once heard you sagely remark would remember disagreeable things when the honest pair had forgot them I was determined to be prudent You would have been charmed with me my dear for my discretion I will cheat bystanders thought I I will make my Lord and Lady L Dr Bartlett and Emily whom I had before set in at cards think we are egregiously happy—And down I sat intending with a lamblike peaceableness to make observations on the play But soon after in whipt my indiscreet Lord his colour heightened his features working And tho I cautioned him not to expose himself yet he assumed airs that were the occasion as you shall hear of frighting away my company He withdrew in consequence of those airs and after a little while repenting as I hoped he sent for me out Some wives would have played the queen Vashti on their tyrant and refused to go But I all obedience my vow so recently made in my head obeyed at the very first word Yet you must think that I meek as I am naturally could not help recriminating He was too lordly to be expostulated with—There was
I tell you madam and I wont be told Sir
and when I broke from the passionate creature and hoped to find my company behold they were all gone None but Emily left And thus might poor Lady L be sent home weeping perhaps for such an early marriagetyranny exerted on her meek sister
Well and dont you think that we looked like a couple of fools at each other when we saw ourselves left alone as I may say to fight it out I did expostulate with him as mildly as I could He would have made it up with me afterwards but no there was no doing that as a girl of your nice notions may believe after he had by his violent airs exposed us both before so many witnesses In decency therefore I was obliged to keep it up And now our misunderstanding
blazes and is at such a comfortable height that if we meet by accident we run away from each other by design We have already made two breakfasttables Yet I am meek he is fullen I make courtesies he returns not bows—Sullen creature and a rustic—I go to my harpsichord melody enrages him He is worse than Saul for Saul could be gloomily pleased with the music even of the man he hated
I would have got you to come to us That I thought was tending to a compliance for it would have been condescending too much as he is so very perverse if I had accompanied him to you He has a great mind to appeal to you but I have half raillied him out of his purpose I sent to you What an answer did you return me—Cruel Harriet to deny your requested mediation in a difference that has arisen between man and wife—But let the fire glow If it spares the house and only blazes in the chimney I can bear it
Cross creature adieu If you know not such a woman as Grandison Heaven grant that I may and that my wishes may be answered as to the person and then I will not know a Byron
See Lucy how high this dear flighty creature bribes But I will not be influenced by her bribery to take her part
Tuesday Night
I AM just returned from St Jamess Square
But first I should tell you that I had a visit from Lady Olivia and Lady Maffei Our conversation was in Italian and French Lady Olivia and I had a quarter of an hours discourse in private You may
guess at our subject She is not without that tenderness of heart which is the indispensable characteristic of a woman She lamented the violence of her temper in a manner so affecting that I cannot help pitying her tho at the instant I had in my head a certain attempt that makes me shudder whenever I think of it She regrets my going to Northamptonshire so soon I have promised to return her visit tomorrow in the afternoon
She sets out on Friday next for Oxford She wished I could accompany her She resolves to see all that is worth seeing in the western circuit as I may call it She observes she says that Sir Charles Grandisons sisters and their Lords are very particularly engaged at present and are in expectation of a call to Windsor to attend Lord Ws nuptials She will therefore having attendants enough and two men of consideration in her train one of whom is not unacquainted with England take cursory tours over the kingdom having a taste for travelling and finding it a great relief to her spirits And when Lady L and Lady G are more disengaged will review the seats and places which she shall think worthy of a second visit in their company
She professed to like the people here and the face of the country and talked favourably of the rel gion of it But poor woman she likes all those the better I doubt not for the sake of one Englishman Love Lucy gilds every object which bears a relation to the person beloved
Lady Maffei was very free in blaming her niece for this excursion She took her chiding patiently but yet like a person that thought it too much in her power to gratify the person blaming her to pay much regard to what she said
I took a chair to Lady Gs Emily ran to meet me in the hall She threw her arms about me I rejoice you are come said she Did you not meet
the house in the square—What means my Emily—Why it has been flung out of the windows as the saying is Ah madam we are all to pieces One so careless the other so passionate—But hush—Here comes Lady G—
Take Lucy in the dialogueway particulars
Lady G
Then you are come at last Harriet You wrote that you would not come near me
Harriet
I did but I could not stay away Ah
Lady G
you will destroy your own happiness
Lady G
So you wrote Not one word on the subject you hint at that you have ever said or written before I hate repetitions child
Harriet
Then I must be silent upon it
Lady G
Not of necessity You can say new things upon old subjects—But hush Here comes the man—She ran to her harpsichord—Is this it Harriet and touched the keys—repeating
Softly sweet in Lydian measures
Soon she soothd—
Enter Lord G
Lord G
Miss Byron I am your most obedient servant The sight of you rejoices my soul—Madam to his Lady you have not been long enough together to begin a tune I know what this is for—
Lady G
Harmony harmony is a charming thing But I poor I know not any but what this simple instrument affords me
Lord G
lifting up his hands Harmony madam God is my witness—But I will lay everything before Miss Byron
Lady G
You need not my Lord She knows as much as she can know already except the fine colourings be added to the woeful tale that your unbridled spirit can give it—Have you my long Letter about you Harriet
Lord G
And could you madam have the heart to write—
Lady G
Why my Lord do you mince the matter For Heart read Courage You may speak as plain in Miss Byrons presence as you did before she came I know what you mean
Lord G
Let it be Courage then
Harriet
Fie fie Lord G Fie fie Lady G What Lengths do you run If I understand the matter right you have both like children been at play till you have fallen out
Lord G
If Miss Byron you know the truth and can blame me—
Harriet
I blame you only my Lord for being in a passion You see my Lady is serene She keeps her temper She looks as if she wanted to be friends with you
Lord G
O that cursed Serenity—When a soul is torn by a whirlwind—
Lady G
A good tragedy rant—But Harriet you are mistaken My Lord G is a very passionate man So humble so—what shall I call it before marriage—Did not the man see what a creature I was—To bear with me when he had no obligation to me and not now when he has the highest—A miserable sinking—O Harriet Harriet Never never marry
Harriet
Dear Lady G you know in your own heart you are wrong—Indeed you are wrong—
Lord G
God for ever reward you madam—I will tell you how it began—
Lady G
Began She knows that already I tell you my Lord But what has passed within these four hours she knows not You may entertain her with that if you pleose—It was just about the time this day is a week that we were all together mighty comfortably at St Georges HanoverSquare—
Lord G
Every tittle of what you promised there madam—
Lady G
And I my Lord could be your echo in
this were I not resolved to keep my temper as you cannot but say I have done all along
Lord G
You could not madam if you did not despise me
Lady G
You are wrong my Lord to think so But you dont believe yourself If you did the pride of your heart ought not to permit you to own it
Lord G
Miss Byron give me leave—
Lady G
Lord bless me that people are so fond of exposing themselves Had you taken my advice when you pursued me out of my dressingroom into company—My Lord said I as mildly as I now speak Dont expose your self But he was not at all the wiser for my advice
Lord G
Miss Byron you see—But I had not come down but to make my compliments to you He bowed and was about to withdraw
I took him by the sleeve—My Lord you must not go Lady G if your own heart justifies you for your part in this misunderstanding say so I challenge you to say so—She was silent
Harriet
If otherwise own your fault promise amendment—Ask excuse
Lady G
Heyday
Harriet
And my Lord will ask yours for mistakeing you—For being too easily provoked—
Lord G
Too easily madam—
Harriet
What generous man would not smile at the foibles of a woman whose heart is only gay with prosperity and lively youth but has not the least malice in it Has not she made choice of your Lordship in preference of any other man She raillies every one she cant help it She is to blame—Indeed Lady G you are Your brother felt your edge he once smarted by it and was angry with you—But afterwards observing that it was her way my Lord that it was a kind of constitutional gaiety of heart and exercised on those she loved best he forgave
railled her again and turned her own weapons upon her and every one in company was delighted with the spirit of both—You love her my Lord—
Lord G
Never man more loved a woman I am not an illnatured man—
Lady G
But a captious a passionate one Lord G—Whod have thought it
Lord G
Never was there my dear Miss Byron such a strangelyaggravating creature She could not be so if she did not despise me
Lady G
Fiddlefaddle silly man and so you said before If you thought so you take the way dont you to mend the matter by dancing and capering about and putting yourself into all manner of disagreeable attitudes and even sometimes being ready to foam at the mouth—I told him Miss Byron There he stands let him deny it if he can that I married a man with another face Would not any other man have taken this for a compliment to his natural undistorted face and instantly have pulled off the ugly Mask of passion and shewn his own—
Lord G
You see you see the air Miss Byron—How ludicrously does she now even now—
Lady G
See Miss Byron—How captious—Lord G ought to have a termagant wife One who could return rage for rage Meekness is my crime—I cannot be put out of temper—Meekness was never before attributed to woman as a fault
Lord G
Good God—Meekness—Good God
Lady G
But Harriet do you judge on which side the grievance lies—Lord G presents me with a face for his that I never saw him wear before marriage He has cheated me therefore I shew him the same face that I ever wore and treat him pretty much in the same manner or I am mistaken that I ever did And what reason can he give that will not demonstrate him to be the most ungrateful of men for the airs he gives himself Airs that he would not have
presumed to put on eight days ago Who then Harriet has reason to complain of grievance my Lord or I
Lord G
You see Miss Byron—Can there be any arguing with a woman who knows herself to be in jest in all she says
Harriet
Why then my Lord make a jest of it What will not bear an Argument will not be worth ones anger
Lord G
I leave it to Miss Byron Lady G to decide between us as she pleases
Lady G
Youd better leave it to me Sir
Harriet
Do my Lord
Lord G
Well madam—And what is your decree
Lady G
You Miss Byron had best be Lady Chancellor after all I should not bear to have my decree disputed after it is pronounced
Harriet
If I must my decree is this—You Lady G shall own yourself in fault and promise amendment My Lord shall forgive you and promise that he will for the future endeavour to distinguish between your good and your illnature That he will sit down to jest with your jest and never be disturbed at what you say when he sees it accompanied with that archness of eye and lip which you put on to your brother and to every one whom you best love when you are disposed to be teizingly facetious
Lady G
Why Harriet you have given Lord G a clue to find me out and spoil all my sport
Harriet
What say you my Lord
Lord G
Will Lady G own herself in fault as you propose
Lady G
Odious recrimination—I leave you together I never was in fault in my life Am I not a woman If my Lord will ask pardon for his froppishness as we say of children—
She stopt and pretended to be going—
Harriet
That my Lord shall not do Charlotte You have carried the jest too far already My Lord shall preserve his dignity for his wifes sake My Lord you will not permit Lady G to leave us however
He took her hand and pressed it with his lips For Gods sake madam let us be happy It is in your power to make us both so It ever shall be in your power If I have been in fault impute it to my Love I cannot bear your contempt and I never will deserve it
Lady G
Why could not this have been said some hours ago—Why slighting my early caution would you expose yourself
I took her aside Be generous Lady G Let not your husband be the only person to whom you are not so
Lady G
whispering
Our quarrel has not run half its length If we make up here we shall make up clumsily One of the silliest things in the world is a quarrel that ends not as a coachman after a journey comes in with spirit We shall certainly renew it
Harriet
Take the caution you gave to my Lord Dont expose yourself And another That you cannot more effectually do so than by exposing your husband I am more than halfashamed of you You are not the Charlotte I once thought you were Let me see if you have any regard to my good opinion of you that you can own an error with some grace
Lady G
I am a meek humble docible creature She turned to me and made me a rustic courtesy her hands before her Ill try for it tell me if I am right Then stepping towards my Lord who was with his back to us looking out at the window—and he turning about to her bowing—My Lord said she Miss Byron has been telling me more than I knew before of my duty She proposes herself one day to
make a wonderful obedient wife It would have been well for you perhaps had I had her example to walk by She seems to say that now I am married I must be grave sage and passive That smiles will hardly become me That I must be prim and formal and reverence my husband—If you think this behaviour will become a married woman and expect it from me pray my Lord put me right by your frowns whenever I shall be wrong For the future if I ever find myself disposed to be very lighthearted I will ask your leave before I give way to it And now what is next to be done humorously courtesying her hands before her
He clasped her in his arms Dear provoking creature This this is next to be done—I ask you but to love me half as much as I love you and I shall be the happiest man on earth
My Lord said I you ruin all by this condescension on a speech and air so ungracious If this is all you get by it never never my Lord fall out again O Charlotte If you are not generous you come off much much too easily
Well now my Lord said she holding out her hand as if threatening me let you and me man and wife like join against the interposer in our quarrels—Harriet I will not forgive you for this last part of your lecture
And thus was this idle quarrel made up All that vexes me on the occasion is that it was not made up with dignity on my Lords part His honest heart so overflowed with joy at his lips that the naughty creature by her arch leers every nowandthen shewed that she was sensible of her consequence to his happiness But Lucy dont let her sink too low in your esteem She has many fine qualities
They prevailed on me to stay supper Emily rejoiced in the reconciliation▪ Her heart was as I may say visible in her joy Can I love her better than I
do If I could she would every time I see her give me reason forit
Wedn Noon Apr 19
IT would puzzle you to guess at a visiter I had this morning—Honest Mr Fowler I was very glad to see him He brought me a Letter from his worthy uncle Good Sir Rowland I had a joy that I thought I should not have had while I stayd in London on its being put in my hand tho the contents gave me sensible pain I inclose it It is dated from Caermarthen Be pleased to read it here
Caermarthen April 11
HOW shall I in fit manner inscribe my Letter to the loveliest of women I dont mean because of your loveliness but whether as daughter or not as you did me the honour to call yourself Really and truly I must say that I had rather call you by another name tho a little more remote as to consanguinity Lord have mercy upon me how have I talked of you How many of our fine Caermarthen girls have I filled with envy of your peerless perfections
Here am I settled to my hearts content could I but obtain—You know whom I mean—A town of gentry A fine country round us—A fine estate of our own Esteemed nay for that matter beloved by all our neighbours and tenants Who so happy as Rowland Meredith if his poor boy could be happy—Ah madam—And cant it be so I am afraid of asking Yet I understand that notwithstandig all the Jackadandies that have been fluttering about you you are what you were when I left town Some whispers have
gone out of a fine gentleman indeed who had a great kindness for you but yet that something was in the way between you The Lord bless and prosper my dear daughter as I must then call you and not niece if you have any kindness for him And if as now you have it would be wonderfully gracious if you would but give half a hint of it to my nephew or if so be you will not to him to me your father you know under your own precious hand The Lord be good unto me But I shall never see the She that will strike my fancy as you have done But what a dreadful thing would it be if you who are so much courted and admired by many fine gallants should at last be taken with a man who could not be yours God forbid that such a disastrous thing should happen I profess to you madam that a tear or two have strayed down my cheeks at the thoughts of it For why Because you playd no tricks with any man You never were a coquet as they call em You dealt plainly sincerely and tenderly too to all men of which my nephew and I can bear witness
Well but what now is the end of my writing—Lord love you cannot cannot you at last give comfort to two honest hearts Honester you never knew And yet if you could I dare say you would Well then and if you cant we must sit down as contented as we can thats all we have for it—But poor young man Look at him if you read this before him Strangely altered Poor young man—And if as how you cannot why then God bless my daughter thats all And I do assure you that you have our prayers every Lords day from the bottom of our hearts
And now if you will keep a secret I will tell it you and yet when I began I did not intend it The poor youth must not know it It is done in the singleness of our hearts and if you think we mean to gain your Love for us by it I do assure you that you wrong us My nephew declares that he never will
marry if it be not Somebody And he has made his will and so have I his uncle and let me tell you that if as how I cannot have a niece my daughter shall be the better for having known and treated as kindly as power was lent her
Her true Friend loving Father and obedient Servant ROWLAND MEREDITH
Love and Service to Mr and Mrs Reeves and all friends who enquire after me Farewel God bless you Amen
Have you could you Lucy read this Letter with dry eyes Generous worthy honest men I read but half way before Mr Fowler—Glad I was that I read no further I should not have been able to have kept his uncles secret if I had had it been but to disclaim the acceptance of the generous purpose The carrying it into effect would exceedingly distress me besides the pain the demise of the honest man would give me and the more as I bespoke the fatherly relation from him myself If such a thing were to be Sir Charles Grandisons generosity to the Danbys should be my example
Do you know Mr Fowler said I the contents of the Letter you have put into my hand
No farther than that my uncle told me it contained professions of fatherly love and with wishes only—But without so much as expressing his hopes
Sir Rowland is a good man said I I have not read above half his Letter There seems to be too much of the father in it for me to read further before my brother God bless my brother Fowler and reward the fatherly love of Sir Rowland to his daughter Byron I must write to him
Mr Fowler poor man profoundly sighed bowed with such a look of respectful acquiescence—Bless
me my dear how am I to be distressed on all sides by good men too as Sir Charles could say by good women
Is there nothing less than giving myself to either that I can do to shew Mr Orme and Mr Fowler my true value for them
Poor Mr Fowler—Indeed he looks to be as Sir Rowland hints not well—Such a modest such an humble such a silent Lover—He cost me tears at parting I could not hide them He heaped praises and blessings upon me and hurried away at last to hide his emotion with a sentence unfinished—God preserve you dear and worthy Sir was all I could try to say The last words stuck in my throat till he was out of hearing and then I prayed for blessings upon him and his uncle And repeated them with fresh tears on reading the rest of the affecting Letter
Mr Fowler told Mr Reeves before I saw him that he is to go to Caermarthen for the benefit of his native air in a week He let him know where he lodged in town He had been riding for his health and diversion about the country ever since his uncle went and has not been yet at Caermarthen
I wish Mr Fowler had once if but once called me sister It would have been such a kind acquiescence as would have given me some little pleasure on recollection Methinks I dont know how to have done writing of Sir Rowland and Mr Fowler
I sat down however while the uncle and nephew filled my thoughts and wrote to the former, I have enclosed the copy of my Letter Adieu my Lucy
Wednesday April 19
IT was with great pleasure that I received this day the kindest Letter that ever was written by a real Father to his dearest Child I was resolved that I would not go to rest till I had acknowleged the favour
How sweet is the name of father to a young person who out of near oneandtwenty years of life has for more than half the time been bereaved of hers and who was also one of the best of men
You gave me an additional pleasure in causing this remembrance of your promised paternal goodness to be given me by Mr Fowler in person Till I knew you and him I had no father no brother
How good you are in your apprehensions that there may be a man on whom your daughter has cast her eye and who cannot look upon her with the same distinction—O that I had been near you when you wrote that sweetly compassionating that indulgent passage I would have wiped the tears from your eyes myself and reverenced you as my true father
You demand of me as my father a hint or half a hint as you call it to be given to my brother Fowler or if not to him to you To him whom I call father I mean all the duty of a child I call him not father nominally only I will irksome as the subject is own without reserve the truth to you In tenderness to my brother how could I to him—There is a man whom and whom only I could love as a good wife ought to love her husband He is the best of men O my good Sir Rowland Meredith if you knew him you would love him yourself and own him for your son I will not conceal his name from
my father Sir Charles Grandison is the man Enquire about him His character will rise upon you from every mouth He engaged first all your daughters gratitude by rescuing her from a great danger and oppression for he is as brave as he is good And how could she help suffering a tenderness to spring up from her gratitude of which she was never before sensible to any man in the world There is something in the way my good Sir but not that proceeds from his slights or contempts Your daughter could not live if it were so A glorious creature is in the way who has suffered for him who does suffer for him He ought to be hers and only hers and if she can be recovered from a fearful malady that has seized her mind he probably will My daily prayers are that God will restore her
But yet my dear Sir my Friend my Father my esteem for this noblest of men is of such a nature that I cannot give my hand to any other My Father Meredith would not wish me to give a hand without a heart
This Sir is the case Let it I beseech you rest within your own breast and my brother Fowlers How few minds are there delicate and candid enough to see circumstances of this kind in the light they ought to appear in And pray for me my good Sir Rowland not that the way may be smoothed to what once would have crowned my wishes as to this life but that Sir Charles Grandison may be happy with the Lady that is and ought to be dearest to his heart and that your daughter may be enabled to rejoice in their felicity What my good Sir is this span of life that a passenger through it should seek to overturn the interests of others to establish her own And can the single life be a grievance Can it be destitute of the noblest tendernesses No Sir You that have lived to an advanced age in a fair same surrounded with comforts and as tender to a worthy nephew as
the most indulgent father could be to the worthiest of sons can testify for me that it is not
But now Sir one word—I disclaim but yet in all thankfulnes• the acceptance of the favour signified to be intended me in the latter part of the paternal Letter before me Our acquaintance began with a hope on your side that I could not encourage As I could not Shall I accept of the benefit from you to which I could only have been entitled and that as I had behaved had I been able to oblige you—No Sir I will not in this case be benefited when I cannot benefit Put me not therefore I beseech you Sir if such an event deplored by me as it would be should happen upon the necessity of enquiring after your other relations and friends Sir Rowland Meredith my father and Mr Fowler my brother▪ are all to me of the family they distinguish by their relation that I know at present Let me not be made known to the rest by a distinction that would be unjust to them and to yourself as it must deprive you of the grace of obliging those who have more than a strangers claim and must in the event lay them under the appearance of an obligation to that stranger for doing them common justice
I use the word stranger with reference to those of your family and friends to whom I must really appear in that light But laying these considerations aside in which I am determined not to interfere with them I am with the tenderest regard dear and good Sir
Your everdutiful and affectionate Daughter HARRIET BYRON
Wedn April 19
I Shall dispatch this by your Gibson early in the morning It was kind in you to bid him call in his way down for now I shall be almost sure of meeting if not my uncle your brother and who knows but my Lucy herself at Dunstable Where barring accidents I shall be on Friday night
You will see some of the worthiest people in the world my dear if you come all prepared to love you but let not anybody be put to inconvenience to meet me at Dunstable My noble friends here will proceed with me to Stratford or even to Northampton they say but they will see me safe in the protection of Somebody I love and whom they must love for my sake
I dont wonder that Sir Charles Grandison loves Mr Beauchamp He is a very worthy and sensible man He as every body else idolizes Sir Charles It is some pleasure to me Lucy that I stand high in his esteem To be respected by the worthy is one of the greatest felicities in this life for it is to be ranked as one of them Sir Harry and his Lady are come to town All it seems is harmony in that family They cannot bear Mr Beauchamps absence from them for three days together All the neighbouring gentlemen are in love with him His manners are so gentle his temper so even so desirous to oblige so genteel in his person so pleasing in his address he must undoubtedly make a good woman very happy
But Emily poor girl sees only Sir Charles Grandison with eyes of Love Mr Beauchamp is however greatly pleased with Emily He told Lady G
that he thought her a fine young creature and that her mind was still more amiable than her person But his behaviour to her is extremely prudent He says finer things of her than to her Yet surely I am mistaken if he meditates not in her his future wife Mr Beauchamp will be one of my escorte
Emily at her own request is to go to Colnebrooke with Lady L after I am gone
Mr Reeves will ride Lord L and Lord G will also oblige me with their company on horseback
In my cousins coach will be Lady L Lady G Emily and I My cousin Reeves is forbidden to venture
I shall take leave of Lady Olivia and Lady Maffei tomorrow morning when they will set out for their projected tour Tomorrow we and the whole Grandison family are to dine together at Lord Ls for the last time It will be a mournful diningtime on that account
Lady Betty Williams her daughter and Miss Clements suppd with us this night and took leave of me in the tenderest manner They greatly regret my going down so soon as they call it
As to the public diversions which they wish me to stay and give into to be sure I should have been glad to have been better qualified to have entertained you with the performances of this or that actor this or that musician and the like But frighted by the vile plot upon me at a masquerade I was thrown out of that course of diversion and indeed into more affecting more interesting engagements into the knowlege of a family that had no need to look out of itself for entertainments And besides Are not all the company we see as visiters or guests full of these things I have seen the principal performers in every way often enough to give me a notion of their performances tho I have not troubled you with such common things as revolve every season
You know I am far from slighting the innocent pleasures in which others delight—It would have been happier for me perhaps had I had more leisure to attend those amusements▪ than I have found Yet I am not sure neither For methinks with all the pangs that my suspenses have cost me I would not but have known Sir Charles Grandison his sisters his Emily and Dr Bartlett
I could only have wished to have been spared Sir Hargrave Pollexfens vile attempt Then if I had come acquainted with this family it would have been as I come acquainted with others My gratitude had not been engaged so deeply
Well—But what signify all these Ifs—What has been has what must be must Only love me my dear friends as you used to love me If I was a good girl when I left you I hope I am not a bad one now that I am returning to you My morals I bless God are unhurt My heart is not corrupted by the vanities of the great town I have a little more experience than I had And if I have severely paid for it it is not at the price of my reputation And I hope if nobody has benefited by me since I have been in town that no one has suffered by me Poor Mr Fowler—I could not help it you know Had I by little snares follies coquetries sought to draw him on and entangle him his future welfare would with reason be more the subject of my solicitude than it is now necessary it should be tho indeed I cannot help making it a good deal so
Thursday Morning
DR Bartlett has just now taken leave of me in my own dressingroom The parting scene between us was tender
I have not given you my opinion of Miss Williams Had I seen her at my first coming to town I should have taken as much notice of her in my Letters to you as I did of the two Miss Brambers
Miss Darlington Miss Cantillon Miss Allestree and others of my own Sex and of Mr Somner▪ Mr Allestree Mr Walden of the other who took my first notice as they fell early in my way and with whom it is possible as well as with the town▪diversions I had been more intimate had not Sir Hargraves vile attempt carried me out of their acquaintance into a much higher which of necessity as well as choice entirely engrossed my attention But now how insipid would any new characters appear to you if they were but of a like cast with those I have mentioned were I to make such the subjects of my pen and had I time before me which I cannot have to write again before I embrace you all my dear my everdear and indulgent friends
I will only say that Miss Williams is a genteel girl but will hardly be more than one of the better sort of modern women of condition and that she is to be classed so high will be owing more to Miss Clementss lessons than I am afraid to her mothers example
Is it Lucy that I have more experience and discernment now or less charity and goodnature than when I first came town for then I thought well in the main of Lady Betty Williams But tho she is a goodnaturd obliging woman she is so immersed in the love of public diversions so fond of routs drums hurricanes—Bless me my dear how learned should I have been in all the gaieties of the modern life what a fine Lady possibly had I not been carried into more rational however to me they have been more painful scenes and had I followed the lead of this Lady as she kindly as to her intention had designed I should
In the afternoon Mr Beauchamp is to introduce Sir Harry and Lady Beauchamp on their first visit to the two sisters
I had almost forgot to tell you that my cousins and
I are to attend the good Countess of D for one half hour after we have taken leave of Lady Olivia and her aunt
And now my Lucy do I shut up my correspondence with you from London My heart beats high with the hope of being as indulgently received by all you my dearest friends as I used to be after a shorter absence For I am and ever will be
The grateful dutiful and affectionate HARRIET BYRON
Selbyhouse Monday April 24
THO the kind friends with whom I parted at Dunstable were pleased one and all to allow that the correspondence which is to pass between my dear Lady G and their Harriet should answer the just expectations of each upon her in the writing way and tho at your motion remember not at mine they promised to be contented with hearing read to them such parts of my Letters as you should think proper to communicate yet cannot I dispense with my duty to Lady L my Emily my cousin Reeves and Dr Bartlett Accordingly I write to them by this post and I charge you my dear with my sincere and thankful compliments to your Lord and to Mr Beauchamp for their favours
What an agreeable night in the main was Friday night Had we not been to separate next morning it would have been an agreeable one indeed
Is not my aunt Selby an excellent woman But you all admired her She admires you all I will tell you another time what she said of you my dear in particular
My cousin Lucy too—is she not an amiable creature
—Indeed you all were delighted with her But I take pleasure in recollecting your approbations of one I so dearly love She is as prudent as Lady L and now our Nancy is so well recovered as chearful as Lady G You said you would provide a good husband for her Dont forget The man whoever he be cannot be too good for my Lucy Nancy is such another good girl But so I told you
Well and pray Did you ever meet with so pleasant a man as my uncle Selby What should we have done when we talked of your brother when we talked of our parting had it not been for him You looked upon me every nowandthen when he returned your smartness upon him as if you thought I had let him know some of your perversnesses to Lord G—And do you think I did not Indeed I did Can you imagine that your frankhearted Harriet who hides not from her friends her own faults should conceal yours—But what a particular character is yours Everybody blames you that knows of your overlivelinesses yet everybody loves you—I think for your very faults Had it not been so do you imagine I could ever have loved you after you had led Lady L to join with you on a certain teazing occasion—My uncle dotes upon you
But dont tell Emily that my cousin James Selby is in Love with her That he may not on the score of the dear girls fortune be thought presumptuous let me tell you that he is almost of age and when he is comes into possession of an handsome estate He has many good qualities I have in short a very great value for him but not enough tho he is my relation, to wish him my still more beloved Emily Dear creature methinks I still feel her parting tears on my cheek
You charge me to be as minute in the Letters I write to you as I used to be to my friends here And
you promised to be as circumstantial in yours I will set you the example Do you be sure to follow it
We baited at StonyStratford I was afraid how it would be There were the two bold creatures Mr Greville and Mr Fenwick ready to receive us A handsome collation as at our setting out so now bespoke by them was set on the table How they came by their intelligence nobody knows We were all concerned to see them They seemed halfmad for joy My cousin James had alighted to hand us out but Mr Greville was so earnest to offer his hand that tho my cousin was equally ready I thought I could not deny to his solicitude for the poor favour such a mark of civility Besides if I had it would have been distinguishing him for more than a common neighbour you know Mr Fenwick took the other hand when I had stept out of the coach and then with so much pride as made me ashamed of myself they hurried me between them thro the innyard and into the room they had engaged for us blessing themselves all the way for my coming down Harriet Byron
I looked about as if for the dear friends I had parted with at Dunstable This is not thought I so delightful an inn as they made that—Now they thought I are just got to Barnet in their way to London as we are here in ours to Northampton—But ah where where is Sir Charles Grandison at this time And I sighed But dont read this and such strokes as this to any body but Lord and Lady L—You wont you say—Thank you Charlotte—I will call you Charlotte when I think of it as you commanded me
The joy we had at Dunstable was easy serene deep full as I may say it was the joy of sensible people But the joy here was made by the two gentlemen mad loud and even noisy They hardly were able to contain themselves and my uncle and cousin James were forced to be loud to be heard
Mr Orme good Mr Orme when we came near his park was on the highwayside perhaps near the very spot where he stood to see me pass to London so many weeks ago—Poor man—When I first saw him which was before the coach came near for I looked out only as thinking I would mark the place where I last beheld him he looked with so disconsolate an air and so fixed that I compassionately said to myself Surely the worthy man has not been there ever since
I twitched the string just in time The coach stopt Mr Orme said I How do you Well I hope—How does Miss Orme
I had my hand on the coachdoor He snatched it It was not an unwilling hand He pressed it with his lips God be praised said he with a countenance O how altered for the better for permitting me once more to behold that face—that angelic face he said
God bless you Mr Orme said I I am glad to see you Adieu
The coach drove on Poor Mr Orme said my aunt
Mr Orme Lucy said I dont look so ill as you wrote he was
His joy to see you said she—But Mr Orme is in a declining way
Mr Greville on the coach stopping rode back just as it was going on again—And with a loud laugh—How the d—l came Orme to know of your coming madam—Poor fellow It was very kind of you to stop your coach to speak to the statue And he laughed again—Nonsensical At what
My grandmamma Shirley dearest of parents her youth as she was pleased to say renewed by the expectation of so soon seeing her darling child came as my aunt told us you know on Thursday night to Selbyhouse to charge her and Lucy with her blessing to me and resolving to stay there to receive me Our beloved Nancy was also to be there so were
two other cousins Kitty and Patty Holles good young creatures who in my absence had attended my grandmamma at every convenient opportunity and whom I also found here
When we came within sight of this house Now Harriet said Lucy I see the same kind of emotions beginning to arise in your face and bosom as Lady G told us you shewed when you first saw your aunt at Dunstable My grandmamma said I I am in sight of the dear house that holds her I hope she is here But I will not surprise her with my joy to see her Lie still throbbing impatience speaking to my heart
But when the coach attended by many neighbours and friends who like a gathering snowball had got together within a few miles of Selbyhouse set us down at the innergate there in the outwardhall sat my blessed grandmamma The moment I beheld her my intended caution forsook me I sprang by my aunt and before the foot step could be put down flew as it were out of the coach and threw myself at her feet wrapping my arms about her Bless bless said I your Harriet I could not at the moment say another word
Great God said the pious parent her hands and eyes lifted up Great God I thank thee Then folding her arms about my neck she kissed my forehead my check my lips—God bless my Love Pride of my life the most precious of a hundred daughters How does my Child—My Harriet—O my Love—After such dangers such trials such harassings—Once more God be praised that I clasp to my 〈◊〉 heart my Harriet
Separate them separate them said my facetious uncle yet he had tears in his eyes before they grow together—Madam to my grandmamma she is our Harriet as well as yours Let us welcome the saucy girl on her reentrance into these doors—Saucy I suppose I shall soon find her
My grandmamma withdrew her fond arms Take her take her said she each in turn But I think I never can part with her again
My uncle saluted me and bid me very kindly welcome home So did my aunt So did Lucy—My equallybeloved Nancy—So did every one
How can I return the obligations which the love of all my friends lays upon me To be good to be grateful is not enough▪ ••uce that one ought to be for ones own sake Wh•t a sweet thing is it to be beloved by worthy neighbours I had several visiters last night and compliments without number on my arrival—Compliments for what For having lost the better half of my heart Dont you think I look silly to myself You bid me be free in my confessions You promise to look my Letters over before you read them to anybody and to mark passages proper to be kept to yourself—Pray do
Mr Greville and Mr Fenwick were here separately an hour ago I thanked them for their civility on the road and not ungraciously as Mr Greville told my uncle as to him He was not he said without hopes yet since I knew not how to be ungrateful Mr Greville builds as he always did a merit on his civility and by that means sinks in the narrower Lover the claim he might otherwise make to the title of the generous neighbour
MISS ORME has just been here She could not help throwing in a word for her brother
You will guess my dear Lady G at the subject of our conversations here and what they will be morning noon and night for a week to come My grandmamma is better in health than I have known her for a year or two past The health of people in years can mend but slowly and they are slow to acknowlege it in their own favour My grandmamma however allows that she is better within these few
days past but attributes the amendment to her Harriets return
How do they all bless revere extol your noble brother—How do they wish—And how do they regret—You know what—Yet how ready are they to applaud your Harriet if she can hold her magnanimity in preferring the happiness of Clementina to her own—My grandmamma and aunt are of opinion that I should and they praise me for the generosity of my effort whether the superior merits of the man will or will not allow me to succeed in it But my uncle my Lucy and my Nancy from their unbounded love of me think a little and but a little narrower and believing it will go hard with me say It is hard My uncle in particular says the very pretension is slight and nonsense But however if the girl added he can parade away her passion for an object so worthy with all my heart It will be but just that the romancing evelations which so often drive headstrong girls into difficulties should nowandthen help a more discreet one out of them
Adieu my beloved Lady G Repeated compliments love thanks to my Lord and Lady L to my Emily to Dr Bartlett to Mr Beauchamp and particularly to my Lord G Dear dear Charlotte be good Let me beseech you be good If you are not you will have every one of my friends who met you at Dunstable and from their report my grandmamma and Nancy against you for they find but one fault in my Lord It is that he seems too fond of a Lady who by her archness of looks and halfsaucy turns upon him even before them evidently shewed—Shall I say what But I stand up for you my dear Your gratitude your generosity your honour I say and why should I not add your duty will certainly make you one of the most obliging of wives to the most affectionate of husbands
My uncle says He hopes so But tho he adores
you for a friend and the companion of a lively hour yet he does not know but his Dame Selby is still the woman whom a man should prefer for a wife And she said he is full as saucy as a wife need to be tho I think Harriet that she has not been the less dutiful of late for your absence
Once more adieu my dear Lady G and continue to love
Your HARRIET BYRON
Thursday April 27
EVERY one of the Dunstable party say that you are a grateful and good girl Beauchamp can talk of nobody else of our Sex I believe in my conscience he is in Love with you I think all the unprovided for young women whereever you come must hate you Was you never by surprize carried into the chamber of a friend labouring with the Smallpox in the infectious stage of it—O but I think you once said you had had that distemper But your mind Harriet were your face to be ruined would make you admirers The fellows who could think of preferring even such a face to such a heart may be turned over to the class of insignificants
Is not your aunt Selby you ask an excellent woman—She is I admire her But I am very angry with you for deferring to another time acquainting me with what she said of me When we are taken with anybody we love they should be taken with us Teazing Harriet You know what an immoderate quantity of curiosity I have Never serve me so again
I am in Love with your cousin Lucy Were either Fenwick or Greville good enough—But they are not
I think she shall have Mr Orme Nancy you say is such another good girl I dont doubt it Is she not your cousin and Lucys sister But I cannot undertake for every good girl who wants a husband I wish I had seen Lucy a fortnight ago Then Nancy might have had Mr Orme and Lucy should have had Lord G He admires her greatly And do you think that a man who at that time professed for me so much Love and Service and all that would have scrupled to oblige me had I as I easily should proved to him that he would have been a much happier man than he could hope to be with Somebody else
Your uncle is a pleasant man But tell him I say that the man would be out of his wits that did not make the preference he does in favour of his Dame Selby as he calls her Tell him also if you please in return for his plain dealing that I say he studies too much for his pleasantries He is continually hunting for occasions to be smart I have heard my father say that this was the fault of some wits of his acquaintance whom he ranked among the witlings for it If you think it will mortify him more you may tell him for I am very revengeful when I think myself affronted that were I at liberty which God help me I am not I would sooner choose for a husband the man I have poor soul as I now and then think him than such a teazing creature as himself were both in my power and both of an age And I should have this good reason for my preference Your uncle and I should have been too much alike and so been jealous of each others wit whereas I can make my honest Lord G look about him and admire me strangely whenever I please
But I am it seems a person of a particular character Every one you say loves me yet blames me Odd characters my dear are needful to make even characters shine You good girls would not be valued as you are if there were not bad ones Have
you not heard it said That all human excellence is but comparative Pray allow of the contrast You I am sure ought You are an ungrateful creature if whenever you think of my overlivelinesses as you call em you dont drop a courtesy and say You are obliged to me
But still the attack made upon you in your dressingroom at Colnebrooke by my sister and me sticks in your stomach—And why so We were willing to shew you that we were not the silly people you must have thought us had we not been able to distinguish light from darkness You who ever were I believe▪ one of the frankesthearted girls in Britain and admired for the ease and dignity given you by that frankness were growing aukward nay dishonest Your gratitude your gratitude was the dust you wanted to throw into our eyes that we might not see that you were governed by a stronger motive You called us your friends your sisters but treated us not as either and this man and that and tother you could refuse and why No reason given for it and we were to be popt off with your gratitude truly—We were to believe just what you said and no more nay not so much as you said But we were not so implicit Nor would you in our case have been so
But
you perhaps would not have violently broken in upon a poor thing who thought we were blind because she was not willing we should see
—May be not But then in that case we were honester than you would have been thats all Here said I Lady L is this poor girl aukwardly struggling to conceal what every body sees and seeing applauds her for the men considered Yes Harriet the man considered be pleased to take that in Let us in pity relieve her She is though to be frank openhearted communicative nay she passes herself upon ••in those characters She sees we keep nothing from her
She has been acquainted with your Love before wedlock with my folly in relation to Anderson She has carried her head above a score or two of men not contemptible She sits enthroned among us while we make but common figures at her footstool She calls us sisters friends and twenty pretty names Let us acquaint her that we see into her heart and why Lord D and others are so indifferent with her If she is ingenuous let us spare her if not leave me to punish her—Yet we will keep up her punctilio as to our brother we will leave him to make his own discoveries She may confide in his politeness and the result will be happier for her because she will then be under no restraint to us and her native freedom of heart may again take its course
Agreed agreed said Lady L—And arm in arm we entered your dressingroom dismissed the maid and began the attack—And O Harriet how you hesitated paraded fooled on with us before you came to confession Indeed you deserved not the mercy we shewed you—So child you had better to have let this part of your story sleep in peace
You bid me not tell Emily that your cousin is in Love with her But I think I will Girls begin very early to look out for admirers It is better in order to stay her stomach to find out one for her than that she should find out one for herself especially when the man is among ourselves as I may say and both are in our own management and at distance from eath other Emily is a good girl but she has susceptibilities already And tho I would not encourage her as yet to look out of herself for happiness yet I would give her consequence with herself and at the same time let her see that there could be no mention made of any thing that related to her but what she should be acquainted with Dear girl I love her as well as you and I pity her too I or she as well as Somebody else will have difficulties to contend
with which she will not know easily how to get over tho she can in a flame so young generously prefer the interest of a more excellent woman to her own—There Harriet is a grave paragraph Youll like me for it
You are a very reflecting girl in mentioning to me so particularly your behaviour to your Grevilles Fenwicks and Ormes What is that but saying See Charlotte I am a much more complaisant creature to the men no one of which I intend to have than you are to your husband
What a pious woman indeed must be your grandmamma that she could suspend her joy her longabsent darling at her feet till she had first thankd God for restoring her to her arms But in this instance we see the force of habitual piety Tho not so good as I should be myself I revere those who are so and that I hope you will own is no bad sign
Well but now for ourselves and those about us
Lady Olivia has written Lady L a Letter from Windsor It is in French extremely polite She promises to write to me from Oxford
Lady Anne S made me a visit this morning She was more concerned than I wished to see her on my confirming the report she had heard of my brothers being gone abroad I railled her a little too freely as it was before Lord G and Lord L I never was better rebuked than by her for she took out her pencil and on the cover of a letter wrote these lines from Shakespeare and slid them into my hand
And will you rend our ancient Love asunder
To join with Men in scorning your poor friend
It is not friendly tis not maidenly
Our Sex as well as I may chide you for it
Tho I alone do feel the injury
I never my dear told you how freely this Lady and I had talked of Love But freely as we had talked
I was not aware that the matter lay so deep in her heart I knew not how to tell her that my brother had said It could not be I could have wept over her when I read this paper and I owned myself by a whisper justly rebuked She charged me not to let any man see this particularly not either of those present And do you Harriet keep what I have written of Lady Anne to yourself
My aunt Eleanor has written a congratulatory Letter to me from York Sir Charles it seems had acquainted her with Lord Gs day Not my day Harriet that is not the phrase I hope as soon as he knew it himself and she writes supposing that I was actually offered on it Women are victims on these occasions I hope youll allow me that My brother has made it a point of duty to acquaint his fathers sister with every matter of consequence to the family and now she says that both her nieces are so well disposed of she will come to town very quickly to see her new relations and us and desires we will make room for her And yet she owns that my brother has informed her of his being obliged to go abroad and she supposes him gone As he is the beloved of her heart I wonder she thinks of making this visit now he is absent But we shall all be glad to see my aunt Nell She is a good creature tho an old maid I hope the old Lady has not utterly lost either her invention or memory and then between both I shall be entertained with a great number of Lovestories of the last age and perhaps of some dangers and escapes which may serve for warnings for Emily Alas alas they will come too late for your Charlotte
I have written already the longest Letter that I ever wrote in my life Yet it is prating and to you to whom I love to prate I have not near done
You bid me be good and you threaten me if I am not with the ill opinion of all your friends But I have such an unaccountable biass for roguery or what
shall I call it that I believe it is impossible for me to take your advice I have been examining myself What a duce is the matter with me that I cannot see my honest man in the same advantageous light in which he appears to every body else Yet I do not in my heart dislike him On the contrary I know not were I to look about me far and wide the man I would have wished to have called mine rather than him But he is so important about trifles so nimble yet so slow He is so sensible of his own intention to please and has so many antic motions in his obligingness that I cannot forbear laughing at the very time that I ought perhaps to reward him with a gracious approbation
I must fool on a little while longer I believe Permit me Harriet so to do as occasions arise
AN instance an instance in point Harriet Let me laugh as I write I did it at the time—What do you laugh at Charlotte—Why this poor man or as I should rather say this Lord and Master of mine has just left me He has been making me both a compliment and a present And what do you think the compliment is Why▪ if I please he will give away to a virtuoso friend his collection of Moths and Butterflies I once he rememberd raillied him upon them And by what study thought I wilt thou honest man supply their place If thou hast a talent this way pursue it since perhaps thou wilt not shine in any other And the best any-thing, you know Harriet carries with it the appearance of excellence Nay he would also part with his collection of Shells if I had no objection
To whom my Lord—He had not resolved—Why then only as Emily is too little of a child or you might give them to her
Too little of a child madam
and a great deal of bustle and importance took possession of his features—Let me tell you madam—I wont let you my Lord and I laughed
Well madam I hope here is something coming up that you will not disdain to accept of yourself
Up came groaning under the weight or rather under the care two servants with baskets A fine set of old Japan China with brown edges believe me They sat down their baskets and withdrew
Would you not have been delighted Harriet to see my Lord busying himself with taking out and putting in the windows one at a time the cups plates jars and saucers rejoicing and parading over them and shewing his connoisseurship to his motionless admiring wife in commending this and the other piece as a beauty And when he had done taking the liberty as he phrased it half fearful half resolute to salute his bride for his reward and then pacing backwards several steps with such a strut and a crow—I see him yet—Indulge me Harriet—I burst into a hearty laugh I could not help it And he reddening looked round himself and round himself to see if any thing was amiss in his garb The man the man honest friend I could have said but had too much reverence for my husband is the oddity Nothing amiss in the garb
O Harriet Why did you beseech me to be good I think in my heart I have the stronger inclination to be bad for it You call me perverse if you think me so bid me be saucy bid me be bad and I may then like other good wives take the contrary course for the sake of dear contradiction
Shew not however I in turn beseech you to your grandmamma and aunt such parts of this Letter as would make them despise me You say you stand up for me I have need of your advocateship Never let me want it And do I not after all do a greater credit to my good man when I can so heartily laugh in the wedded state than if I were to sit down with my finger in my eye
I have taken your advice and presented my sister
with my half of the jewels I desired her to accept them as they were my mothers and for her sake This gave them a value with her more than equal with their worth But Lord L is uneasy and declares he will not suffer Lady L long to lie under the obligation Were every one of family in South Britain and North Britain to be as generous and disinterested as Lord L and our family the union of the two parts of the island would be complete
LORD help this poor obliging man I wish I dont love him at last He has taken my hint and has presented his collection of Shells a very sine one he says it is to Emily and they two are actually busied and will be for an hour or two I doubt not in admiring them the one strutting over the beauties in order to enhance the value of the present the other courtesying ten times in a minute to shew her gratitude Poor man When his virtuoso friend has got his Butterflies and Moths I am afraid he must set up a turners shop for employment If he loved reading I could when our visiting hours are over set him to read to me the new things that come out while I knot or work and is he loved writing to copy the Letters which pass between you and me and those for you which I expect with so much impatience from my brother by means of Dr Bartlett I think he spells pretty well for a Lord
I have no more to say at present but compliments without number or measure to all you so deservedly love and honour as well those I have not seen as those I have
One thing Reveal to me all the secrets of your heart and how that heart is from time to time affected that I may know whether you are capable of that greatness of mind in a lovecase that you shew in all others We will all allow you to love Sir Charles Grandison Those who do give honour to themselves
if their eyes stop not at person his having so many advantages For the same reason I make no apologies and never did for praising my brother as any other lover of him might do
Let me know every thing how and about your fellows too Ah Harriet you make not the use of power that I would have done in your situation I was halfsorry when my hurrying brother made me dismiss Sir Walter and yet to have but two danglers after one are poor doings for a fine Lady Poorer still to have but one
Heres a Letter as long as my arm Adieu I was loth to come to the name But difer it ever so long I must subscribe at last
CHARLOTTE G
Monday May 1
O MY dearest my honoured Miss Byron how you have shamed your Emily by sending a Letter to her such a sweet Letter too before I have paid my duty to you in a Letter of thanks for all your love to me and for all your kind instructions But I began once twice and thrice and wrote a great deal each time but could not please myself You madam are such a writer and I am such a poor thing at my pen—But I know you will accept the heart And so my very dissidence shews pride since it cannot be expected from me to be a fine writer And yet this very Letter I foresee will be the worse for my diffidence and not the better For I dont like this beginning neither—But come it shall go Am I not used to
your goodness And do you not bid me prattle to you in my Letters as I used to do in your dressingroom O what sweet advice have you and do you return for my silly prate And so I will begin
And was you grieved at parting with your Emily on Saturday morning I am sure I was very much concerned at parting with you I could not help crying all the way to town and Lady G shed tears as well as I and so did Lady L several times and said You were the loveliest best young Lady in the world And we all praised likewise your aunt your cousin Lucy and young Mr Selby How good are all your relations They must be good And Lord L and Lord G for men were as much concerned as we at parting with you Mr Reeves was so dull all the way poor Mr Reeves he was very dull And Mr Beauchamp he praised you to the very skies and in such a pretty manner too Next to my guardian I think Mr Beauchamp is a very agreeable man I fansy these noble sisters if the truth were known dont like him so well as their brother does Perhaps that may be the reason out of jealousy as I may say if there be any thing in my observation But they are vastly civil to him nevertheless▪ yet they never praise him when his back is turned as they do others who cant say half the good things that he says
Well but enough of Mr Beauchamp My guardian my gracious my 〈◊〉 my indulgent guardian who that thinks of him can praise any body else
O madam Where is he now God protect and guide my guardian whereever he goes This is my prayer first and last and I cant tell how often in the day I look for him in every place I have seen him in And pray tell me madam Did not you do so when he had left us and when I cant find him I do so sigh—What a pleasure yet what a pain is there in sighing when I think of him Yet I know I
am an innocent girl And this I am sure of that I wish him to be the husband of but one woman in the whole world and that is you But then my next wish is—You know what—Ah my Miss Byron you must let me live with you and my guardian if you should ever be Lady Grandison
But here madam are sad doings sometimes between Lord and Lady G I am very angry at her often in my heart yet I cannot help laughing nowand then at her outoftheway sayings Is not her character a very new one Or are there more such young wives I could not do as she does were I to be queen of the globe Everybody blames her She will make my Lord not love her at last Dont you think so And then what will she get by her wit
JUST this moment she came into my closet—Writing Emily said she To whom—I told her—Dont tell tales out of school Emily—I was so afraid that she would have asked to see what I had written But she did not To be sure she is very polite and knows what belongs to herself and everybody else To be ungenerous as you once said to her husband only that is a very sad thing to think of
Well and I would give any-thing to know if you think what I have written tolerable before I go any farther But I will go on in this way since I cannot do better Bad is my best but you shall have quantity I warrant since you bid me write long Letters
But I have seen my mother It was but yesterday She was in a mercers shop in CoventGarden I was in Lord Ls chariot only Anne was with me Anne saw her first I alighted and asked her blessing in the shop I am sure I did right She blessed me and called me dear love I stayd till she had bought what she wanted and then I slid down the money as
if it were her own doing and glad I was I had so much about me It came but to four guineas I begged her speaking low to forgive me for so doing And finding she was to go home as far as Soho and had thoughts of having a hackneycoach called I gave Anne money for a coach for herself and waited on my mother to her own lodgings and it being Lord Ls chariot she was so good as to dispense with my alighting
She blessed my guardian all the way and blessed me She said she would not ask me to come to see her because it might not be thought proper as my guardian was abroad But she hoped she might be allowed to come and see me sometimes—Was she not very good madam But my guardians goodness makes everybody good—O that my mamma had been always the same I should have been but too happy
God bless my guardian for putting me on enlarging her power to live handsomely Only as a coach brings on other charges and people must live accordingly or be discredited instead of credited by it or I should hope the additional Two hundred a year might afford them one Yet one does not know but Mr O Hara may have been in debt before he married her and I fansy he has people who hang upon him But if it pleases God I will not when I am at age and have a coach of my own suffer my mother to walk on foot What a blessing is it to have a guardian that will second every good purpose of ones heart
Lady Olivia is rambling about and I suppose she will wait here in England till Sir Charless return But I am sure he never will have her A wicked wretch with her poniards Yet it is pity She is a fine woman But I hate her for her expectation as well as for her poniard And a woman to leave her own country to seek for a husband I could die before I could do so tho to such a man as my guardian
Yet once I thought I could have liked to have lived with her at Florence She has some good qualities and is very generous and in the main well esteemed in her own country everybody knew she loved my guardian But I dont know how it is nobody blamed her for it vast as the difference in fortune then was But that is the glory of being a virtuous man to love him is a credit instead of a shame O madam Who would not be virtuous And that not only for their own but for their friends sakes if they loved their friends and wished them to be well thought of
Lord W is very desirous to hasten his wedding
Mr Beauchamp says that all the Mansfields He knows them bless my guardian every day of their lives and their enemies tremble He has commissions from my guardian to enquire and act in their cause that no time may be lost to do them service against his return
We have had another visit from Lady Beauchamp and have returned it She is very much pleased with us You see I say us Indeed my two dear Ladies are very good to me but I have no merit It is all for their brothers sake
Mr Beauchamp tells us just now that his motherinlaw has joined with his father at her own motion to settle 1000 l a year upon him I am glad of it with all my heart Are not you He is all gratitude upon it He says that he will redouble his endeavours to oblige her and that his gratitude to her as well as his duty to his father will engage his utmost regard for her
Mr Beauchamp Sir Harry himself and my Lady are continually blessing my guardian Everybody in short blesses him—But ah madam Where is he at this moment O that I were a bird that I might hover over his head and sometimes bring tidings to his friends of his motions and good deeds I would
often flap my wings dear Miss Byron at your chamberwindow as a signal of his welfare and then fly back again and perch as near him as I could
I am very happy as I said before in the favour of Lady and Lord L and Lady and Lord G but I never shall be so happy as when I had the addition of your charming company I miss you and my guardian O how I miss you both But dearest Miss Byron love me not the less tho now I have put pen to paper and you see what a poor creature I am in my writing Many a one I believe may be thought tolerable in conversation but when they are so silly as to put pen to paper they expose themselves as I have done in this long piece of scribble But accept it nevertheless for the true love I bear you and truer love never flamed in any bosom to any one the most dearly beloved than does in mine for you
I am afraid I have written arrant nonsense because I knew not how to express half the love that is in the heart of
Your everobliged and affectionate EMILY JERVOIS
Tuesday May 2
I Have no patience with you Lady G You are ungenerously playful Thank Heaven if this be wit that I have none of it But what signifies expostulating with one who knows herself to be faulty and will not amend How many stripes Charlotte do you deserve—But you never spared anybody not even your brother when the humour was upon you So make haste and since you will lay in stores for repentance fill up your measure as fast as you can
Reveal to you the state of my heart—Ah my dear it is an unmanageable one Greatness of mind
—I dont know what it is—All his excellencies his greatness his goodness his modesty his chearfulness under such afflictions as would weigh down every other heart that had but half the compassion in it with which his overflows—Must not all other men appear little and less than little nothing in my eyes—It is an instance of patience in me that I can endure any of them who pretend to regard me out of my own family
I thought that when I got down to my dear friends here I should be better enabled by their prudent counsels to attain the desireable frame of mind which I had promised myself But I find myself mistaken My grandmamma and aunt are such admirers of him take such a share in the disappointment that their advice has not the effect I had hoped it would have Lucy Nancy are perpetually calling upon me to tell them something of Sir Charles Grandison and when I begin I know not how to leave off My uncle raillies me laughs at me sometimes reminds me of what he calls my former brags I did not brag my dear I only hoped that respecting as I did every man according to his merit I should never be greatly taken with any one before duty added force to the inclination Methinks the company of the friends I am with does not satisfy me yet they never were dearer to me than they now are I want to have Lord and Lady L Lord and Lady G Dr Bartlett my Emily with me To lose you all at once—is hard There seems to be a stranger void in my heart—And so much at present for the state of that heart
I always had reason to think myself greatly obliged to my friends and neighbours all around us but never till my return after these few months absence knew how much So many kind visiters such unaffected expressions of joy on my return that had I
not a very great counterbalance on my heart would be enough to make me proud
My grandmamma went to Shirley manor on Saturday on Monday I was with her all day But she would have it that I should be melancholy if I staid with her And she is so selfdenyingly careful of her Harriet There never was a more noble heart in woman But her solitary moments as my uncle calls them are her Moments of joy And why Because she then divests herself of all that is either painful or pleasurable to her in this life For she says that her cares for her Harriet and especially now are at least a balance for the delights she takes in her
You command me to acquaint you with what passes between me and the gentlemen in my neighbourhood in your stile m• fellows
Mr Fenwick invited himself to breakfast with my aunt Selby yesterday morning I would not avoid him
I will not trouble you with the particulars You know well enough what men will say on the subject upon which you will suppose he wanted to talk to me He was extremely earnest I besought him to accept my thanks for his good opinion of me as all the return I could make him for it and this in so very serious a manner that my heart was fretted when he declared with warmth his determined perseverance
Mr Greville made us a teavisit in the afternoon My uncle and he joined to railly us poor women as usual I left the defence of the Sex to my aunt and Lucy How poor appears to me every conversation now with these men—But hold saucy Harriet▪ was not your Uncle Selby one of the railliers—But he does not believe all he says and therefore cannot wish to be so much regarded on this topic as he ought to be by me on others
After the run of raillery was over in which Mr Greville made exceptions favourable to the women
present he applied to every one for their interest with me and to me to countenance his address He set forth his pretensions very pompously and mentioned a very considerable increase of his fortune which before was a very handsome one He offered our own terms He declared his love for me above all women and made his happiness in the next world as well as in this depend upon my favour to him
It was easy to answer all he said and is equally so for you to guess in what manner I answered him And he finding me determined began to grow vehement and even affrontive He hinted to me that he knew what had made me so very resolute He threw out threatnings against the man be he whom he would that should stand in the way of his success with me at the same time intimating saucily as I may say for his manner had insult in it that it was impossible a certain event could ever take place
My uncle was angry with him so was my aunt Lucy was still more angry than they But I standing up said Pray my dear friends take nothing amiss that Mr Greville has said—He once told me that he would set spies upon my conduct in town If Sir your spies have been just I fear nothing they can say But the hints you have thrown out shew such a total want of all delicacy of mind that you must not wonder if my heart rejects you Yet I am not angry I reproach you not every one has his peculiar way All that is left me to say or to do is to thank you for your favourable opinion of me as I have thanked Mr Fenwick and to desire that you will allow me to look upon you as my neighbour and only as my neighbour
I courtesied to him and withdrew
But my great difficulty had been before with Mr Orme His sister had desired that I would see her brother He and she were invited by my aunt to dinner on Tuesday They came Poor man He is
not well I am sorry for it Poor Mr Orme is not well He made me such honest compliments▪ as I may say His heart was too much in his civilities to raise them above the civilities that justice and truth might warrant in favour of a person highly esteemed Mine was filled with compassion for him and that compassion would have shewn itself in tokens of tenderness more than once had I not restrained myself for his sake How you my dear Lady G can delight in giving pain to an honest heart I cannot imagine I would make all God Almightys creatures happy if I could and so would your noble brother Is he not crossing dangerous seas and ascending through almost perpetual snows those dreadful Alps which I have heard described with such terror for the generous end of relieving distress
I made Mr Orme sit next me I was assiduous to help him and to do him all the little offices which I thought would light up pleasure in his modest countenance and he was quite another man It gave delight to his sister and to all my friends to see him smile and look happy I think my dear Lady G that when Mr Orme looks pleasant and at ease he resembles a little the goodnatured Lord G—O that you would take half the pains to oblige him that I do to relieve Mr Orme—Half the pains did I say That you would not take pains to disoblige him and he would be of course obliged Dont be afraid my dear that in such a world as this things will not happen to make you uneasy without your studying for them Excuse my seriousness I am indeed too serious at times
But when Mr Orme requested a few minutes audience of me as he called it and I walked with him into the cedar parlour which you have heard me mention and with which I hope you will be one day acquainted he paid poor man for his too transient
pleasure Why would he urge a denial that he could not but know I must give
His sister and I had afterwards a conference She pleaded too strongly her brothers health and even his life both which she would have it depended on my favour to him I was greatly affected and at last besought her if she valued my friendship as I did hers never more to mention to me a subject which gave me a pain too sensible for my peace
She requested me to assure her that neither Mr Greville nor Mr Fenwick might be the man They both took upon them she said to ridicule her brother for the profound respect even to reverence that he bore me which if he knew might be attended with consequences For that her brother mild and gentle as was his passion for me had courage to resent any indignities that might be cast upon him by spirits boisterous as were those of the two gentlemen she had named She never therefore told her brother of their scoffs But it would go to her heart if either of them should succeed or have reason but for a distant hope
I made her heart easy on that score
I have just now heard that Sir Hargrave Pollexfen is come from abroad already What can be the meaning of it He is so lowminded so malicious a man and I have suffered so much from him—What can be the meaning of his sudden return I am told that he is actually in London Pray my dear Lady G inform yourself about him and whether he thinks of coming into these parts
Mr Greville when he met us at StonyStratford threw out menaces against Sir Hargrave on my account and said It was well he was gone abroad I told him then that he had no business even were Sir Hargrave present to engage himself in my quarrels
Mr Greville is an impetuous man a man of rough manners and makes many people afraid of him He has I believe indeed had his spies about me for he seems to know everything that has befallen me in my absence from Selbyhouse
He has dared also to threaten Somebody else Insolent wretch But he hinted to me yesterday that he was exceedingly pleased with the news that a certain gentleman was gone abroad in order to prosecute a former amour was the light wretchs as light expression If my indignant eyes could have killed him he would have fallen dead at my feet
Let the constant and true respects of all my friends to you and yours and to my beloved Emily be always for the future considered as very affectionately expressed whether the variety of other subjects leaves room for a particular expression of them or not by my dearest Lady G
Your faithful and everobliged HARRIET BYRON
Saturday May 6
I Thank you Harriet for yours What must your fellows think of you In this gross age your delicacy must astonish them There used to be more of it formerly But how should men know any-thing of it when women have forgot it Lord be thanked we females since we have been admitted into so constant a share of the public diversions want not courage We can give the men stare for stare whereever we meet them The next age nay the rising generation must surely be all heroes and heroines But whither has this word delicacy carried me Me who it seems have faults to be corrected for of another
sort and who want not the courage for which I congratulate others
But to other subjects▪ I could write a vast deal of stuff about my Lord and Self and Lord and Lady L who assume parts which I know not how to allow them And sometimes they threaten me with my brothers resentments sometimes with my Harriets so that I must really have leadingstrings fastened to my shoulders O my dear a fond husband is a surfeiting thing and yet I believe most women love to be made monkeys of
BUT all other subjects must now give way We have heard of tho not from my brother A particular friend of Mr Lowther was here with a Letter from that gentleman acquainting us that Sir Charles and he were arrived at Paris
Mr Beauchamp was with us when Mr Lowthers friend came He borrowed the Letter on account of the extraordinary adventure mentioned in it
Make your heart easy in the first place about Sir Hargrave He is indeed in town but very ill He was frighted into England and intends not ever again to quit it In all probability he owes it to my brother that he exists
Mr Beauchamp went directly to Cavendish Square and informed himself there of other particulars relating to the affair from the very servant who was present and acting in it and from those particulars and Mr Lowthers Letter wrote one for Dr Bartlett Mr Beauchamp obliged me with the perusal of what he wrote whence I have extracted the following account For his Letter is long and circumstantial and I did not ask his leave to take a copy as he seemed desirous to hasten it to the doctor
On Wednesday the 1930 of April in the evening as my brother was pursuing his journey to Paris and was
within two miles of that capital a servantman rode up in visible terror to his postchaise in which were Mr Lowther and himself and besought them to hear his dreadful tale The gentlemen stopt and he told them that his master who was an Englishman and his friend of the same nation had been but a little while before attacked and forced out of the road in their postchaise as he doubted not to be murdered by no less than seven armed horsemen and he pointed to a hill at distance called Mont Martre behind which they were at that moment perpetrating their bloody purpose He had just before he said addressed himself to two other gentlemen and their retinue who drove on the faster for it
The servants great coat was open and Sir Charles observing his livery asked him If he were not a servant of Sir Hargrave Pollexfen and was answered in the affirmative
There are it seems trees planted on each side the road from St Denis to Paris but which as France is an open and uninclosed country would not but for the hill have hindered the seeing a great way off the scuffling of so many men on horseback There is also a ditch on either hand but places left for owners to come at their grounds with their carts and other carriages Sir Charles ordered the postboy to drive to one of those pass ges saying He could not forgive himself if he did not endeavour to save Sir Hargrave and his friend whose name the man told him was Merceda
His own servants were three in number besides one of Mr Lowther My brother made Mr Lowthers servant dismount and getting himself on his horse ordered the others to follow him He begged Mr Lowther to continue in the chaise bidding the dismounted servant stay and attend his master and galloped a way towards the hill His ears were soon pierced with the cries of the poor wretches and
presently he saw two men on horseback holding the horses of four others who had under them the two gentlemen struggling groaning and crying out for mercy
On the approach of Sir Charles who was a good way ahead of his servants he calling out to spare the gentlemen and bending his course to relieve the prostrate sufferers two of the four quitted their prey and mounting joined the other two horsemen and advanced to meet Sir Charles with a shew of supporting the two men on foot in their violence who continued laying on the wretches with the butends of their whips unmercifully
As the assailants offered not to fly and as they had more than time enough to execute their purpose had it been •obbery and murder Sir Charles concluded it was likely that these men were actuated by a private revenge He was confirmed in this surmise when the •our men on horseback tho each had his pistol ready drawn as Sir Charles also had his demanded a conference warning Sir Charles how he provoked his fate by his rashness and declaring that he was a dead man if he fired
Forbear then said Sir Charles all further violences to the gentlemen and I will hear what you have to say
He then put his pistol into his holster and one of his servants being come up and the two others at hand to whom he called out not to fire till they had his orders he gave him his horses reins bidding him have an eye to the holsters of both and leapt down and drawing his sword made towards the two men who were so cruelly exercising their whips and who on his approach retired to some little distance drawing their hangers
The four men on horseback joined the two on foot just as they were quitting the objects of their fury and one of them said Forbear for the present further
violence brother the gentleman shall be told the cause of all this—Murder Sir said he is not intended nor are we robbers The men whom you are solicitous to save from our vengeance are villains
Be the cause what it will answered Sir Charles you are in a country noted for doing spee•• justice upon proper application to the magistrates In the same instant he raised first one groaning man then the other Their heads were all over bloody and they were so much bruised that they could not extend their arms to reach their wigs and hats which l•y near them nor put them on without Sir Charless help
The men on foot by this time had mounted their horses and all fix stood upon their defence but one of them was so furious crying out that his vengeance should be yet more complete that two of the others could hardly restrain him
Sir Charles asked Sir Hargrave and Mr Merceda Whether they had reason to look upon themselves as injured men or injurers One of the assailants answered That they both knew themselves to be villains
Either from consciousness or terror perhaps from both they could not speak for themselves but by groans nor could either of them stand or sit upright
Just then came up in the chaise Mr Lowther and his servant each a pistol in his hand He quitted the chaise when he came near the suffering men and Sir Charles desired him instantly to examine whether the gentlemen were dangerously hurt or not
The most enraged of the assailants having slipt by the two who were earnest to restrain him would again have attacked Mr Merceda offering a stroke at him with his hanger But Sir Charles his drawn sword still in his hand caug•t hold of his hand and turning his horses head aside diverted a 〈◊〉
which in all probability would otherwise have been a finishing one
They all came about Sir Charles bidding him at his peril use his sword upon their friend And Sir Charless servants were coming up to their masters support had there b en occasion At that instant Mr Lowther assisted by his own servant was examining the wounds and bruises of the two terrified men who had yet no reason to think themselves safe from further violence
Sir Charles repeatedly commanded his servants not to fire nor approach nearer without his orders The persons said he to the assailants whom you have so cruelly used are Englishmen of condition I will protect them Be the provocation what it will you must know that your attempt upon them is a criminal one and if my friend last come up who is a very skilful surgeon shall pronounce them in danger you shall find it so Still he held the horse of the furious one and three of them who seemed to be principals were beginning to express some resentment at this cavalier treatment when Mr Lowther gave his opinion that there was no apparent danger of death And then Sir Charles quitting the mans bridle and putting himself between the assailants and sufferers said That as they had not either offered to fly or to be guilty of violence to himself his friend or servants he was afraid they had some reason to think themselves ill used by the gentlemen But however as they could not suppose they were at liberty in a civilized country to take their revenge on the persons of those who were intitled to the protection of that country he should expect that they would hold themselves to be personally answerable for their conduct at a proper tribunal
The villains one of the men said knew who they were and what the provocation was which had merited a worse treatment than they had hitherto met
with You Sir proceeded he seem to be a man of honour and temper We are men of honour as well as you Our design as we told you was not to kill the miscreants but to give them reason to remember their villainy as long as they lived and to put it out of their power ever to be guilty of the like They have made a vile attempt continued he on a Ladys honour at Abbeville and finding themselves detected and in danger had taken roundabout ways and shifted from one vehicle to another to escape the vengeance of her friends The gentleman whose horse you held and who has reason to be in a passion is the husband of the Lady A Spanish husband surely Harriet not a French one according to our notions That gentleman and that are her brothers We have been in pursuit of them two days for they gave out in order no doubt to put us on a wrong scent that they were to go to Antwerp
And it seems my dear that Sir Hargrave and his collegue had actually sent some of their servants that way which was the reason that they were themselves attended but by one
The gentleman told Sir Charles that there was a third villain in their plot They had hopes he said that he would not escape the close pursuit of a manufacturer at Abbeville whose daughter a lovely young creature he had seduced under promises of marriage Their government he observed were great countenancers of the manufacturers at Abbeville and he would have reason if he were laid hold of to think himself happy if he came off with being obliged to perform his promises
This third wretch must be Mr Bagenhall The Lord grant say I that he may be laid hold of and obliged to make a ruined girl an honest woman as they phrase it in LANCASHIRE Dont you wish so my dear and let me add that had the relations of the injured Lady compleated their intended vengeance on
those two Libertines A very proper punishment I ween for all Libertines it might have helped them to pass the rest of their lives with great tranquillity and honest girls might for any contrivances of theirs have passed to and from masquerades without molestation
Sir Hargrave and his companion intended it seems at first to make some resistance four only of the seven stopping the chaise But when the other three came up and they saw who they were and knew their own guilt their courage failed them
The seventh man was set over the postboy whom he had led about half a mile from the spot they had chosen as a convenient one for their purpose
Sir Hargraves servant was secured by them at their first attack but after they had disarmed him and his masters he found an opportunity to slip from them and made the best of his way to the road in hopes of procuring assistance for them
While Sir Charles was busy in helping the bruised wretches on their feet the seventh man came up to the others followed by Sir Hargraves chaise The assailants had retired to some distance and after a consultation together they all advanced towards Sir Charles who binding his servants be on their guard leapt on his horse with that agility and presence of mind for which Mr Beauchamp says he excels most men and leading towards them Do you advance gentlemen said he as friends or otherwise—Mr Lowther took a pistol in each hand and held himself ready to support him and the servants disposed themselves to obey their masters orders
Our enmity answered one of them is only to these two inhospitable villains Murder as we told you was not our design They know where we are to be found and that they are the vilest of men and have not been punished equal to their demerits Let them on their knees asks this gentlemans pardon
pointing to the husband of the insulted Lady We insist upon this satisfaction and upon their promise that they never more will come within two leagues of Abbeville and we will leave them to your protection
I fancy Harriet that these womenfrightening heroes needed not to have been urged to make this promise
Sir Charles turning towards them said If you have done wrong gentlemen you ought not to scruple asking pardon If you know yourselves to be innocent tho I should be loth to risque the lives of my friend and servants yet shall not my countrymen make so undue a submission
The wretches kneeled and the seven men civilly saluting Sir Charles and Mr Lowther rode off to the joy of the two delinquents who kneeled again to their deliverer and poured forth blessings upon the man whose life so lately one of them sought and whose preservation he had now so much reason to rejoice in for the sake of his own safety
My brother himself could not but be well pleased that he was not obliged to come to extremities which might have ended fatally on both sides
By this time Sir Hargraves postchaise was come up He and his collegue were with difficulty lifted into it My brother and Mr Lowther went into theirs and being but a small distance from Paris they proceeded thither in company the poor wretches blessing them all the way and at Paris found their other servants waiting for them
Sir Charles and Mr Lowther saw them in bed in the lodgings that had been taken for them They were so stiff with the bastinado they had met with that they were unable to help themselves Mr Merceda had been more severely I cannot call it more cruelly treated than the other for he it seems was the greatest malefactor in the attempt made upon
the Lady And he had besides two or three gashes which but for his struggles would have been but one
As you my dear always turn pale when the word Masquerade is mentioned so I warrant will ABBEVILLE be a word of terror to these wretches as long as they live
Their enemies it seems carried off their arms perhaps in the true spirit of French chivalry with a view to lay them as so many trophies at the feet of the insulted Lady
Mr Lowther writes that my brother and he are lodged in the Hôtel of a man of quality a dear friend of the late Mr Danby and one of the three whom he has remembered in his will and that Sir Charles is extremely busy in relation to the executorship and having not a moment to spare desired Mr Lowther to engage his friend to whom he wrote to let us know as much and that he was hastening everything for his journey onwards
Mr Beauchamps narrative of this affair is as I told you very circumstantial I thought to have shortened it more than I have done I wish I have not made my abstract confused in several material places But I have not time to clear it up Adieu my dear
CHARLOTTE G
Sunday May 7
I Believe I shall become as arrant a scribbler as Somebody else I begin to like writing A great compliment to you I assure you I see one may bring ones mind to anything—I thought I must have
had recourse when you and my brother left us and when I was married to the publick amusements to fill up my leisure And as I have seen everything worth seeing of those many times over masquerades excepted and them I despise time you know in that case would have passed a little heavily after having shown myself and by seeing Who and Who were together laid in a little store of the right sort of conversation for the teatable For you know Harriet that among us modern fine people the company and not the entertainment is the principal part of the Rareeshow Pretty enough to make the entertainment and pay for it too to the honest fellows who have nothing to do but to project schemes to get us together
I dont know what to do with this man I little thought that I was to be considered as such a Doll such a Toy as he would make me I want to drive him out of the house without me were it but to purvey for me news and scandal What are your fine gentlemen sit for else You know that with all my faults I have a domestic and managing turn A man should encourage that in a wife and not be perpetually teazing her for her company abroad unless he did it with a view to keep her at home Our Sex dont love to be prescribed to even in the things to which they are not naturally averse And for this very reason perhaps because it becomes us to submit to prescription Human nature Harriet is a perverse thing I believe if my good man wished me to stay at home I should torture my brain as other good wives do for inventions to go abroad
It was but yesterday that in order to give him a hint I pinned my apron to his coat without considering who was likely to be a sufferer by it and be getting up in his usual nimble way gave it a rent and then looked behind him with so much apprehension—Hands folded eyes goggling bag in motion
from shoulder to shoulder I was vexed too much to make the use of the trick which I had designed and huffed him He made excuses and looked pitifully bringing in his Soul to testify that he knew not how it could be—How it could be Wretch When you are always squatting upon ones cloaths in defiance of hoop or distance
He went out directly and brought me in two aprons either of which was worth twenty of that he so carelesly rent Who could be angry with him—I was indeed thinking to chide him for this—As if I were not to be trusted to buy my own cloaths And it was just at my tongues end to ask him What the milaner could think of a man buying linen for a woman but he looked at me with so goodnatured an eye that I relented and accepted with a bow of graciousness his present only calling him an odd creature—And that he is you know my dear
We live very whimsically in the mean Not above four quarrels however and as many more chidings in a day What does the man stay at home for then so much when I am at home Married people by frequent absences may have a chance for a little happiness How many debatings if not direct quarrels are saved by the good mans and his meek wifes seeing each other but once or twice a week In what can men and women who are much together employ themselves but in proving and defending quarrelling and making▪up Especially if they both chance to marry for Love which thank Heaven is not altogether my case for then both honest souls having promised more happiness to each other than they can possibly meet with have nothing to do but reproach each other at least tacitly for their disappointment—A great deal of Freemasonry in Love my dear believe me The secret like that when found out is hardly worth the knowing
Well but what silly rattle is this Charlotte
methinks you say and put on one of your wisest looks
No matter Harriet There may be some wisdom in much folly Every one speaks not out so plainly as I do But when the novelty of an accuisition or change of condition is over be the change or the acquisition what it will the principal pleasure is over and other novelties are hunted after to keep the pool of life from stagnating
This is a serious truth my dear and I expect you to praise me for it You are very sparing of your praise to poor me and yet I had rather have your good word than any womans in the world Or mans either I was going to say but I should then have forgot my brother As for Lord G were I to accustom him to obligingness I should destroy my own consequence for then it would be no novelty and he would be hunting after a new folly—Very true Harriet
Well but we have had a good serious fallingout and it still subsists It began on Friday night present Lord and Lady L and Emily I was very angry with him for bringing it on before them The man has no discretion my dear none at all And what about Why we have not made our appearance at court forsooth
A very confident thing this same appearance I think A compliment made to fine cloaths and jewels at the expence of modesty Lord G pleads decorum—Decorum against modesty my dear—But if by decorum is meant fashion I have in a hundred instances found decorum beat modesty out of the house And as my brother who would have been our principal honour on such an occasion is gone abroad and as ours is an elderly novelty as I may say our fineries were not ready you know before my brother went I was servent against it
I was the only woman of condition in England who would be against it
I told my Lord that was a reflexion on my Sex But Lord and Lady L who had been spoken to I believe by Lady Gertrude were both on his side I shall have this man utterly ruined for a husband among you—When there were three to one it would have looked cowardly to yield you know I was brave But it being proposed for Sunday and that being at a little distance it was not doubted but I would comply So the night past off with prayings hopings and a little mutteration Allow me that word or find me a better The entreaty was renewed in the morning but no—
I was ashamed of him he said I asked him If he really thought so—He should think so if I refused him
Heaven forbid my Lord that I who contend for the liberty of acting should hinder you from the liberty of thinking Only one piece of advice honest friend said I Dont imagine the worst against yourself And another If you have a mind to carry a point with me dont bring on the cause before anybody else For that would be to doubt either my duty or your own reasonableness
As sure as you are alive Harriet the man made an exception against being called honest friend as if as I told him either of the words were incompatible with quality So once he was as froppish as a child on my calling him the man a higher distinction I think than if I had called him a king or a prince THE MAN—Strange creature To except to a distinction that implies that he is the Man of Men—You see what a captious mortal I have been forced to call My Lord But Lord and Master do not always go together tho they do too often for the happiness of many a meek soul of our Sex
Well this debate seemed suspended by my telling him that if I were presented at court I would not have either the Earl or Lady Gertrude go with us the very people who were most desirous to be there—
But I might not think of that at the time you know—I would not be thought very perverse only a little whimsical or so And I wanted not an excellent reason for excluding them—
Are their consents to our past affair doubted my Lord said I that you think it necessary for them to appear to justify us
He could say nothing to this you know And I should never forgive the husband as I told him on another occasion who would pretend to argue when he had nothing to say
Then for the baby will be always craving something he wanted me to go abroad with him—I forget whither—But to some place that he supposed poor man I should like to visit I told him I dared to say he wished to be thought a modern husband and a fashionable man and he would get a bad name if he could never stir out without his wife Neither could he answer that you I now
Well we went on mutter mutter grumble grumble the thunder rolling at a distance a little impatience nowandthen however portending that it would come nearer But as yet it was only Pray my dear oblige me and Pray my Lord excuse me till this morning when he had the assurance to be pretty peremptory hinting that the Lord in waiting had been spoke to A fine time of it would a wife have if she were not at liberty to dress herself as she pleases Were I to choose again I do assure you my dear it should not be a man who by his taste for Moths and Butterflies Shells China and such like trifles would give me warning that he would presume to dress his baby and when he had done would perhaps admire his own fancy more than her person I believe my Harriet I shall make you afraid of Matrimony But I will pursue my subject for all that—
When the Insolent saw that I did not dress as he would have had me he drew out his face glouting to half the length of my arm but was silent Soon
after Lady L sending to know whether her Lord and she were to attend as to the Drawingroom and I returning for answer that I should be glad of their company at dinner he was in violent wrath True as you are alive and dressing himself in a great hurry left the house without saying By your leave with your leave or Whether he would return to dinner or not Very pretty doings Harriet
Lord and Lady L came to dinner however I thought they were very kind and till they opened their lips was going to thank them For then it was all elder Sister and insolent Brotherinlaw I do assure you Upon my word Harriet they took upon them
Lady L told me I might be the happiest creature in the world if—and there was so good as to stop
One of the happiest only Lady L▪ Who can be happier than you
But I said she should neither be so nor deserve to be so if—Good of her again to stop at if
We cant be all of one mind replied I I shall be wiser in time
Where was poor Lord G gone
Poor Lord G is gone to seek his fortune I believe
What did I mean
I told them the airs he had given himself and that he was gone without leave or notice of return
He had served me right absolutely right Lord L said
I believed so myself Lord G was a very good sort of man and ought not to bear with me so much as he had done But it would be kind in them not to tell him what I had owned
The Earl lifted up one hand the Countess both They had not come to dine with me they said after the answer I had returned but as they were afraid something was wrong between us
Mediators are not to be of one side only I said And as they had been so kindly free in blaming me I hoped they would be as free with him when they saw him
And then it was For Gods sake Charlotte and Let me entreat you Lady G And let me too beseech you madam said Emily with tears stealing down her cheeks
You are both very good You are a sweet girl Emily I have a tooplayful heart It will give me some pain and some pleasure but if I had not more pleasure than pain from my play I should not be so silly
My Lord not coming in and the dinner being ready I ordered it to be served—Wont you wait a little longer for Lord G—No I hope he is safe and well He is his own master as well as mine I sighed I believe and no doubt has a paramount pleasure in pursuing his own choice
They raved I begged that they would let us eat our dinner with comfort My Lord I hoped would come in with a keen appetite and Nelthorpe should get a supper for him that he liked
When we had dined and retired into the adjoining drawingroom I had another schoolingbout Emily was even saucy But I took it all Yet in my heart was vexed at Lord Gs perverseness
At last in came the honest man He does not read this and so cannot take exceptions and I hope you will not at the word honest
So lordly so stiff so solemn—Upon my word—Had it not been Sunday I would have gone to my harpsichord directly He bowed to Lord and Lady L and to Emily very obligingly to me he nodded—I nodded again but like a goodnatured fool smiled He stalked to the chimney turned his back towards it buttoned up his mouth held up his glowing face as if he were disposed to crow yet had not won the
battle—One hand in his bosom the other under the skirt of his waistcoat and his posture firmer than his mind—Yet was my heart so devoid of malice that I thought his attitude very genteel and had we not been man and wife agreeable
We hoped to have found your Lordship at home said Lord L or we should not have dined here
If Lord G is as polite a husband as a man said I he will not thank your Lordship for this compliment to his wife
Lord G swelled and reared himself up His complexion which was before in a glow was heightened
Poor man thought I—But why should my tender heart pity obstinate people—Yet I could not help being dutiful—Have you dined my Lord said I with a sweet smile and very courteous
He stalked to the window and never a word answered he
Pray Lady L be so good as to ask my Lord G If he has dined Was not this very condescending on such a behaviour
Lady L asked him and as gentlyvoiced as if she were asking the same question of her own Lord Lady L is a kindhearted soul Harriet She is my Sister
I have not madam to Lady L turning rudely from me and not very civilly from her Ah thought I these men The more they are courted—Wretches to find their consequence in a womans meekness—Yet I could not forbear shewing mine—Nature Harriet Who can resist constitution
What stiff airs are these approaching him—I do assure you my Lord I shall not take this behaviour well and put my hand on his arm
I was served right Would you believe it The man shook off my condescending hand by raising his elbow scornfully He really did
Nay then—I left him and retired to my former
seat I was vexed that it was Sunday I wanted a little harmony
Lord and Lady L both blamed me by their looks and my Lady took my hand and was leading me towards him I shewed a little reluctance And would you have thought it out of the drawingroom whipt my nimble Lord as if on purpose to avoid being moved by my concession
I took my place again
I beg of you Charlotte said Lady L go to my Lord You have used him ill
When I think so I will follow your advice Lady L
And dont you think so Lady G said Lord L
What for taking my own option how I would be dressed today—What for deferring—That moment in came my bluff Lord—H•ve I not proceeded I been forced to dine without him t•••y Did he let me know what account I could give of his absence Or when he would return And see now how angry he looks
He traversed the room—I went on—Did he not shake off my hand when I laid it smiling on his arm Would he answer me a question which I kindly put to him fearing he had not dined and might be sick for want of eating Was I not forced to apply to Lady L for an answer to my careful question on his scornfully turning from me in silence—Might we not if he had not gone out so abruptly nobody knows where have made the appearance his heart is so set upon—But now indeed it is too late
Oons madam said he and he kemboed his arms and strutted up to me Now for a cuff thought I I was half afraid of it But out of the room again capered he
Lord bless me said I What a passionate creature is this
Lord and Lady L both turned from me with indignation
But no wonder if one that they both did They are a silly pair and I believe have agreed to keep each other in countenance in all they do
But Emily affected me She sat before in one corner of the room weeping and just then ran to me and wrapping her arms about me Dear dear Lady G said she for Heavens sake think of what our Miss Byron said
Dont jest away your own happiness
I dont say who is in fault But my de•r Lady do you condescend It looks pretty in a 〈◊〉 man to condescend Forgive me I will run to my Lord and I will beg of him—
Away she ran without waiting for an answer—and bringing in the passionate wret•h hanging on his arm—You must not my Lord indeed you must not be so passionate Why my Lord you highted me indeed you did Such a word I never heard from your Lordships mouth—
Why my Lord said I you give yourself pretty airs▪ Dont you and use pretty words that a ch•ld shall be terrified at them But come come ask my pardon for leaving me to dine without you
Was not that tender—Yet out went Lord and Lady L To be sure they did right if they withdrew in hopes these kind words would have been received as reconciliatory ones and not in displeasure with me as I am half afraid they did For their goodnature worthy souls does sometimes lead them into misapprehensions I kindly laid my hand on his arm again—He was ungracious—Nay my Lord dont once more reject me with disdain—If you do—I then smiled most courteously Carry not your absurdities my Lord too far And I took his hand There Harriet was condescension I protest Sir if you give yourself any more of these airs you will not find me so condescending—Come come tell me you are sorry and I will forgive you
Sorry madam sorry—I am indeed sorry for our provoking airs
Why thats not ill said—But kemboed arms my Lord are you not sorry for such an air And Oons are you not sorry for such a word and for such looks too and for quarrelling with your dinner—I protest my Lord you make one of us look like a child who flings away his bread and butter because it has not glass windows upon it—
Not for one moment forbear madam—
Prythee prythee—I profess I had like to have said honest friend No more of these airs and I tell you I will forgive you
But madam I cannot I will not—
Hush hush▪ no more in that strain and so loud as if we had le•t each other in a wood—If you will let us be frien•• say so—In an instant—If not I am gone—gone this moment—casting off from him as I may say intending to mount up stairs
Angel or Demon shall I call you said he—Yet I receive your hand as offered But for Gods sake madam let us be happy And he kissed my hand but not so cordially as it became him to do and in came Lord and Lady L with countenances a little ungracious
I took my seat next my own man with an air of officiousness hoping to oblige him by it and he was obliged And another day not yet quite agreed upon this parade is to be made
And thus began proceeded and ended this doughty quarrel And who knows but before the day is absolutely resolved upon we may have half a score more Four five six days as it may happen is a great space of time for people to agree who are so much together and one of whom is playful and the other will not be played with But these kembo and oons airs Harriet stick a little in my stomach and the man seems not to be quite come to neither He is fullen and gloomy and dont prate away as he used to do when we have made up before
But I will sing him a song tomorrow I will please the honest man if I can But he really should not have had for a wife a woman of so sweet a temper as
Your CHARLOTTE G
Monday May 8
MY Lord and I have had another little—Tiff shall I call it It came not up to a quarrel Married people would have enough to do if they were to trouble their friends every time they misunderstood one another. And now a word or two of other people Not always scribbling of ourselves
We have just heard that our cousin Everard has added another fool of our Sex to the number of the weak ones who disgrace it A sorry fellow He has been seen with her by one whom he would not know at Cupers Gardens dressed like a Sea▪officer and skulking like a thief into the privatest walks of the place When he is tired of the poor wretch he will want to accommodate with us by promises of penitence and reformation as once or twice before Rakes are not only odious but they are despicable fellows You will the more clearly see this when I assure you from those who know that this silly creature our cousin is looked upon among his brother Libertines and Smarts as a man of first consideration
He has also been seen in a gayer habit at a certain Gamingtable near CoventGarden where he did not content himself with being an idle spectator Colonel Winwood our informant shook his head but made no other answer to some of our enquiries May he suffer say I—A sorry fellow—
Preparations are going on all sofast at Windsor
We are all invited God grant that Miss Mansfield may be as happy a Lady W as we all conclude she will be But I never was fond of matches between sober young women and battered old rakes Much good may do the adventurers drawn in by gewgaw and title—Poor things—But convenience when thats the motive whatever foolish girls think will hold out its comforts while a gratified Love quickly evaporates
Beauchamp who is acquainted with the Mansfields is intrusted by my brother in his absence with the management of the Lawaffairs He hopes he says to give a good account of them The base steward of the uncle Calvert who lived as a husband with the woman who had been forced upon his superannuated master in a doting fit has been brought by the death of one of the children born in Mr Calverts lifetime and by the precarious health of the posthumous one to make overtures of accommodation A new hearing of the cause between them and the Keelings is granted and great things are expected from it in their favour from some new lights thrown in upon that suit The Keelings are frighted out of their wits it seems and are applying to Sir John Lambton a disinterested neighbour to offer himself as a mediator between them The Mansfields will so soon be related to us that I make no apology for interesting you in their affairs
Be sure you chide me for my whimsical behaviour to Lord G I know you will But dont blame my heart My head only is wrong
A little more from fresh informations of this sorry varlet Everard I wished him to suffer but I wished him not to be so very great a sufferer as it seems he is Sharpers have bit his head off quite close to his shoulders They have not left it him to carry under his arm as the honest patron of France did his
They lend it him however nowandthen to repent with and curse himself The creature he attended to Cupers Gardens instead of a country Innocent as he expected her to be comes out to be a cast mistress experienced in all the arts of such and acting under the secret influences of a man of quality who wanting to get rid of her supports her in a prosecution commenced against him poor devil for performance of covenants He was extremely mortified on finding my brother gone abroad He intends to apply to him for his pity and help Sorry fellow He boasted to us on our expectation of our brothers arrival from abroad that he would enter his cousin Charles into the ways of the town Now he wants to avail himself against the practices of the sons of that town by his cousins character and consequence
A combination of sharpers it seems had long set him as a man of fortune But on his taking refuge with my brother gave over for a time their designs upon him till he threw himself again in their way
The worthless fellow had been often liberal of his promises of marriage to young creatures of more innocence than this and thinks it very hard that he should be prosecuted for a crime which he had so frequently committed with impunity Can you pity him I cannot I assure you The man who can betray and ruin an innocent woman who loves him ought to be abhorred by men Would he scruple to betray and ruin them if he were not afraid of the Law—Yet there are women who can forgive such wretches and herd with them—
My aunt Eleanor is arrived A good plump bonnyfaced old virgin She has chosen her apartment At present we are most prodigiously civil to each other But already I suspect she likes Lord G better than I would have her She will perhaps if a party should be formed against your poor Charlotte make one of it
Will you think it time thrown away to read a further account of what is come to hand about the wretches who lately in the double sense of the word were overtaken between St Denis and Paris
Sir Hargrave Pollexfen it seems still keeps his chamber He is thought not to be out of danger from some inward hurt which often makes him bring up blood in quantities He is miserably oppressed by lowness of spirits and when he is a little better in that respect his impatience makes his friends apprehensive for his head But has he intellects strong enough to give apprehensions of that nature Fool and madman we often join as terms of reproach but I believe fools seldom run really mad
Merceda is in a still more dangerous way Besides his bruises and a fractured skull he has it seems a wound in his thigh which in the delirium he was thrown into by the fracture was not duly attended to and which but for his valiant struggles against the knife which gave the wound was designed for a still greater mischief His recovery is despaired of and the poor wretch is continually offering up vows of penitence and reformation if his life may be spared
Bagenhall was the person who had seduced by promises of marriage and fled for it the manufacturers daughter of Abbeville He was overtaken by his pursuers at Douay The incensed father and friends of the young woman would not be otherwise pacified than by his performing his promise which with infinite reluctance he complied with principally thro the threats of the brother who is noted for his fierceness and resolution and who once made the sorry creature feel an Argument which greatly terrified him Bagenhall is at present at Abbeville living as well as he can with his new wife cursing his fate no doubt in secret He is obliged to appear fond of her before her brother and father the latter being also a four man a Gascon always boasting of his family and
valuing himself upon a de affixed by himself to his name and jealous of indignity offered to it The fierce brother is resolved to accompany his sister to England when Bagenhall goes thither in order as he declares to secure to her good usage and see her owned and visited by all Bagenhalls friends and relations And thus much of these fine gentlemen
How different a man is Beauchamp But it is injuring him to think of those wretches and him at the same time He certainly has an eye to Emily but behaves with great prudence towards her Yet everybody but she sees his regard for her Nobody but her guardian runs in her head and the more as the really thinks it is a glory to love him because of his goodness Everybody she says has the same admiration of him that she has
Mrs Reeves desires me to acquaint you that Miss Clements having by the death of her mother and aunt come into a prety fortune is addressed to by a Yorkshire gentleman of easy circumstances and is preparing to go down thither to reside but that she intends to write to you before she goes and to beg you to favour her with nowandthen a Letter
I think Miss Clements is a good sort of young woman But I imagined she would have been one of those Nuns at large who need not make vows of living and dying Aunt Eleanors or Lady Gertrudes all three of them good honest souls chaste pious and plain It is a charming situation when a woman is arrived at such a height of perfection as to be above giving or receiving temptation Sweet innocents They have my reverence if not my love How would they be affronted if I were to say pity—I think only of my two good Aunts at the present writing Miss Clements you know is a youngish woman and I respect her much One would not jest upon the unsightliness of person or plainness of feature but think you she will not be one of those
who twenty years hence may put in a boast of her quondam beauty
How I run on I think I ought to be ashamed of myself
Very true Charlotte
And so it is Harriet I have done—Adieu—Lord G will be silly again I doubt but I am prepared I wish he had half my patience
Be quiet Lord G What a fool you are
—The man my dear under pretence of being friends run his sharp nose in my eye No bearing his fondness It is worse than insolence How my eye waters—I can tell him—But I will tell him and not you—Adieu once more
CHARLOTTE G
Bologna May 5—16
I Will now my dear Brother give you a circumstantial account of our short but flying journey The 20th of April O S early in the morning we left Paris and reached Lyons the 24th at night
Resting but a few hours we set out for Pont Beauvoisin where we arrived the following evening There we bid adieu to France and found ourselves in Savoy equally noted for its poverty and rocky mountains Indeed it was a total change of the scene We had left behind us a blooming spring which enlivened with its verdure the trees and hedges on the road we passed and the meadows already smiled with flowers The chearful inhabitants were busy in adjusting their limits lopping their trees pruning their vines tilling their fields But when we entered Savoy nature wore a very different face
and I must own that my spirits were great sufferers by the change Here we began to view on the nearer mountains covered with ice and snow notwithstanding the advanced season the rigid winter in frozen majesty still preserving its domains And arriving at St Jean de Maurienne the night of the 26th the snow seemed as if it would dispute with us our passage and horrible was the force of the boistrous winds which sat full in our faces
Overpowered by the fatigues I had undergone in •he expedition we had made the unseasonable coldness of the weather and the sight of one of the worst countries under heaven still cloathed in snow and deformed by continual hurricanes I was here taken ill Sir Charles was greatly concerned for my indisposition which was increased by a great lowness of spirits He attended upon me in person and never had man a more kind and indulgent friend Here we stayed two days and then my illness being principally owing to fatigue I found myself enabled to proceed At two of the clock in the morning of the 28th we prosecuted our journey in palpable darkness and dismal weather tho the winds were somewhat laid and reaching the foot of Mount Cenis by break of day arrived at Lanebourg a poor little village so environed by high mountains that for three months in the twelve it is hardly visited by the chearing rays of the sun Every object which here presents itself is excessively miserable The people are generally of an olive complexion with wens under their chins some so monstrous especially women as quite disfigure them
Here it is usual to unscrew and take in pieces the chaises in order to carry them on mules over the mountain and to put them together on the other side For the Savoy side of the mountain is much more difficult to pass than the other But Sir Charles chose not to lose time and therefore left the chaise
to the care of the innkeeper proceeding with all expedition to gain the top of the hill
The way we were carried was as follows A kind of horse as it is called with you with two poles like those of chairmen was the vehicle on which is secured a sort of elbow chair in which the traveller sits A man before another behind carry this open machine with so much swiftness that they are continually running and skipping like wild goats from rock to rock the four miles of that ascent If a traveller were not prepossessed that these mountaineers are the surestfooted carriers in the universe he would be in continual apprehensions of being overturned I who never undertook this journey before must own that I could not be so fearless on this occasion as Sir Charles was tho he had very exactly described to me how everything would be Then tho the sky was clear when we passed this mountain yet the cold wind blew quantities of frozen snow in our faces insomuch that it seemed to me just as if people were employed all the time we were passing to wound us with the sharpest needles They indeed call the wind that brings this sharppointed snow The Tormenta
An adventure which anywhere else might have appeared ridiculous I was afraid would have proved fatal to one of our chairmen as I will call them I had slapt down my hat to screen my eyes from the fury of that deluge of sharppointed frozen snow and it was blown off my head by a sudden gust down the precipices I gave it for lost and was about to bind a handkerchief over the woollen cap which those people provide to tie under the chin when one of the assistant carriers for they are always six in number to every chair in order to relieve one another) undertook to recover it I thought it impossible to be done the passage being as I imagined only practicable for birds However I promised him a
crown reward if he did Never could the leaps of the most dextrous of ropedancers be compared to those of this daring fellow I saw him sometimes jumping from rock to rock sometimes rolling down a declivity of snow like a ninepin sometimes running sometimes hopping skipping in short he descended like lightning to the verge of a torrent where he sound the hat He came up almost as quick and appeared as little fatigued as if he had never left us
We arrived as the top in two hours from Lanebourg and the sun was pretty high above the horizon Out of a hut halfburied in snow came some mountaineers with two poor sledges drawn by mules to carry as through the Plain of Mount Cenis as it is called which is about four Italian miles in length to the descent of the Italian side of the mountain These sledges are not much different from the chairs or sedans or horse we then quitted only the two underpoles are flat and not so long as the others and turning up a little at the end to hinder them from sticking fast in the snow To the foreends of the poles are fixed two round sticks about two feet and a half long which serve for a support and help to the man who guides the mule who running on the snow between the mule and the sledge holds the sticks with eaeh hand
It was diverting to see the two sledgemen striving to outrun each other Encouraged by Sir Charless generosity we arrived at the other end of the plain in less than two hours The man who walked or rather run between the sledge and the mule made a continual noise halloowing and beating the stubborn beast with his fists which otherwise would be very slow in its motion
At the énd of this plain we found such another hut as that on the Lanebourg side Here they took off the smoaking mules from the sledges to give them rest
And now began the most extraordinary way of travelling that can be imagined The descent of the mountain from the top of this side to a small village called Novalesa is four Italian miles When the show has filled up all the inequalities of the mountain it looks in many parts as smooth and equal as a sugarloaf It is on the brink of this rapid descent that they put the sledge The man who is to guide it sits between the seet of the traveller who is seated in the elbow chair with his legs at the outside of the sticks fixed at the foreends of the flat poles and holds the two sticks with his hands and when the sledge has gained the declivity its own weight carries it down with surprising celerity But as the immense irregular rocks under the snow make nowandthen some edges in the declivity which if not avoided would overturn the sledge the guide who foresees the danger by putting his foot strongly and dextrously in the snow next to the precipice turns the machine by help of the abovementioned sticks the contrary way and by way of zigzag goes to the bottom Such was the velocity of this motion that we dispatched these four miles in less than five minutes and when we arrived at Novalesa hearing that the snow was very deep most of the way to Susa and being pleased with our way of travelling we had some mules put again to the sledges and ran all the way to the very gates of that city which is seven miles distant from Mount Cenis
In our way we had a cursory view of the impregnable fortress of Brunetta the greatest part of which is cut out of the solid rock and commands that important pass
We rested all night at Susa and having bought a very commodious postchaise we proceeded to Turin where we dined and from thence the evening of May 2 O S got to Parma by way of Alexandria and Placentia having purposely avoided the high road
through Milan as it would have cost us a few hours more time
Sir Charles observed to me when we were on the plain or flat top of Mount Cenis that had not the winter been particularly long and severe we should have had instead of this terrible appearance of snow there flowers starting up as it were under our feet of various kinds which are hardly to be met with anywhere else One of the greatest dangers he told me in passing this mount in winter arises from a ball of snow which is blown down from the top by the wind or falls down by some other accident which gathering all the way in its descent becomes instantly of such a prodigious bigness that there is hardly any avoiding being carried away with it man and beast and smothered in it One of these balls we saw rolling down but as it took another course than ours we had no apprehensions of danger from it
At Parma we found expecting us the Bishop of Nocera and a very Reverend Father Marescotti by name who expressed the utmost joy at the arrival of Sir Charles Grandison and received me at his recommendation with a politeness which seems natural to them I will not repeat what I have written before of this excellent young gentleman Intrepidity bravery discretion as well as generosity are conspicuous parts of his character He is studious to avoid danger but is unappalled in it For humanity benevolence providence for others to his very servants I never met with his equal
My reception from the noble family to which he has introduced me the patients case a very unhappy one and a description of this noble city and the fine country about it shall be the subject of my next Assure all my friends of my health and good wishes for them and my dear Arnold believe me to be
Ever Yours c
Bologna Wednesday May 1021
I Told you my dear and reverend friend that I should hardly write to you till I arrived in this city
The affair of my executorship obliged me to stay a day longer at Paris than I intended but I have put every thing relating to that trust in such a way as to answer all my wishes
Mr Lowther wrote to Mr Arnold a friend of his in London the particulars of the extraordinary affair we were engaged in between St Denis and Paris with desire that he would inform my friends of our arrival at that capital
We were obliged to stop two days at St Jean de Maurienne The expedition we travelled with was too much for Mr Lowther and I expected and was not disappointed from the unusual backwardness of the season to find the passage over Mount Cenis less agreeable than it usually is in the beginning of May
The Bishop of Nocera had offered to meet me any where on his side of the mountains I wrote to him from Lyons that I hoped to see him at Parma on or about the very day that I was so fortunate as to reach the palace of the Count of Belvedere in that city where I found that he and Father Marescotti had arrived the evening before They as well as the Count expressed great joy to see me and when I presented Mr Lowther to them with the praises due to his skill and let them know the consultations I had had with eminent physicians of my own country on Lady Clementinas case they invoked blessings upon us both and would not be interrupted in them by my eager questions after the health and state of mind
of the two dearest persons of their family—Unhappy very unhappy said the Bishop Let us give you some refreshment before we come to particulars
To my repeated enquiries Jeronymo poor Jeronymo said the Bishop is living and that is all we can say—The sight of you will be a cordial to his heart Clementina is on her journey to Bologna from Naples You desired to find her with us and not at Naples She is weak is obliged to travel slowly She will rest at Urbino two or three days Dear creature What has she not suffered from the cruelty of her cousin Laurana as well as from her malady The General has been and is indulgent to her He is married to a Lady of great merit quality and fortune He has at length consented that we shall try this last experiment as the hearts of my mother and now lately of my father as well as mine are in it His Lady would not be denied accompanying my sister and as my brother could not bear being absent from her he travels with them I wish he had stayd at Naples I hope however he will be as ready as you will find us all to acknowlege the favour of this visit and the fatigue and trouble you have given yourself on our account
As to my sisters bodily health proceeded he it is greatly impaired We are almost hopeless with regard to the state of her mind She speaks not she answers not any questions Camilla is with her She seems regardless of anybody else She has been told that the General is married His Lady makes great court to her but she heeds her not We are in hopes that my mother on her return to Bologna will engage her attention She never yet was so bad as to forget her duty either to God or her Parents Sometimes Camilla thinks she pays some little attention to your name but then she instantly starts as in terror looks round her with fear puts her finger to her lips as if she dreaded her cruel cousin Laurana
should be told of her having heard it mentioned
The Bishop and Father both regretted that she had been denied the requested interview They were now they said convinced that if that had been granted and she had been left to Mrs Beaumonts friendly care a happy issue might have been hoped for But now said the Bishop—Then sighed and was silent
I dispatched Saunders early the next morning to Bologna to procure convenient lodgings for me and Mr Lowther
In the afternoon we set out for that city The Count of Belvedere found an opportunity to let me know his unabated passion for Clementina and that he had lately made overtures to marry her notwithstanding her malady having been advised he said by proper persons that as it was not an hereditary but an accidental disorder it might be in time cureable He accompanied us about half way in our journey and at parting Remember Chevalier whispered he that Clementina is the Soul of my hope I cannot forego that hope No other woman will I ever call mine
I heard him in silence I admired him for his attachment I pitied him He said he would tell me more of his mind at Bologna
We reached Bologna on the 15th N S Saunders had engaged for me the lodgings I had before
Our conversation on the road turned chiefly on the case of Signor Jeronymo The Bishop and Father were highly pleased with the skill founded on practice which evidently appeared in all that Mr Lowther said on the subject And the Bishop once intimated that be the event what it would his journey to Italy should be made the most beneficial affair to him he had ever engaged in Mr Lowther replied that as he was neither a necessitous nor a meanspirited man and
had reason to be entirely satisfied with the terms I had already secured to him he should take it unkindly if any other reward were offered him
Think my dear Dr Bartlett what emotions I must have on entering once more the gates of the Porretta palace tho Clementina was not there
I hastened up to my Jeronymo who had been apprized of my arrival The moment he saw me Do I once more said he behold my friend my Grandison Let me embrace the dearest of men Now now have I lived long enough He bowed his head upon his pillow and meditated me his countenance shining with pleasure in defiance of pain
The Bishop entered he could not be present at our first interview
My Lord said Jeronymo make it your care that my dear friend be treated by every soul of our family with the gratitude and respect which are due to his goodness Methinks I am easier and happier this moment than I have been for the tedious space of time since I last saw him He named that space of time to the day and to the very hour of the day
The Marquis and Marchioness signifying their pleasure to see me the Bishop led me to them My reception from the Marquis was kind from his Lady it was as that of a mother to a longabsent son I had ever been she was pleased to say a fourth son in her eye and now that she had been informed that I had brought over with me a surgeon of experience, and the advice in writing of eminent physicians of my country the obligations I had laid on their whole family whatever were the success were unreturnable
I asked leave to introduce Mr Lowther to them They received him with great politeness and recommended their Jeronymo to his best skill Mr Lowthers honest heart was engaged by a reception so kind He never he told me afterwards beheld so
much pleasure and pain struggling in the same countenance as in that of the Lady so fixed a melancholy as in that of the Marquis Mr Lowther is a man of spirit tho a modest man He is as on every proper occasion I found a man of piety and has a heart tender as manly Such a man heart and hand is qualified for a profession which is the most useful and certain in the art of healing He is a man of sense and learning out of his profession and happy in his address
The two surgeons who now attend Signor Jeronymo▪ are both of this country They were sent for With the approbation and at the request of the family I presented Mr Lowther to them but first gave them his character as a modest man as a man of skill and experience; and told them that he had quitted business and wanted not either fame or fortune
They acquainted him with the case and their methods of proceeding Mr Lowther assisted in the dressings that very evening Jeronymo would have me to be present Mr Lowther suggested an alteration in their method but in so easy and gentle a manner as if he doubted not but such was their intention when the state of the wounds would admit of that method of treatment that the gentlemen came readily into it A great deal of matter had been collected by means of the wrong methods pursued and he proposed if the patients strength would bear it to make an aperture below the principal wound in order to discharge the matter downward and he suggested the dressing with hollow tents and bandage and to dismiss the large tents with which they had been accustomed to distend the wound to the extreme anguish of the patient on pretence of keeping it open to assist the discharge
Let me now give you my dear friend a brief history of my Jeronymos case and of the circumstances
which have attended it by which you will be able to account for the difficulties of it and how it has happened that in such a space of time either the cure was not effected or that the patient yielded not to the common destiny
In lingering cases patients or their friends are sometimes too apt to blame their physicians and to listen to new recommendations The surgeons attending this unhappy case had been more than once changed Signor Jeronymo it seems was unskilfully treated by the young surgeon of Cremona who was first engaged He neglected the most dangerous wound and when he attended to it managed it wrong for want of experience. He was therefore very properly dismissed
The unhappy man had at first three wounds One in his breast which had been for some time healed one in his shoulder which through his own impatience having been too suddenly healed up was obliged to be laid open again the other which is the most dangerous in the hipjoint
A surgeon of this place and another of Padua were next employed The cure not advancing a surgeon of eminence from Paris was sent for
Mr Lowther tells me that this mans method was by far the most eligible but that he undertook too much since from the first there could not be any hope from the nature of the wound in the hipjoint that the patient could ever walk without sticks or crutches And of this opinion were the other two surgeons But the French gentleman was so very pragmatical that he would neither draw with them nor give reasons for what he did regarding them only as his assistants They could not long bear this usage and gave up to him in disgust
How cruel is punctilio among men of this science in cases of difficulty and danger
The present operators when the two others had
given up were not but by leave of the French gentleman called in He valuing himself on his practice in the Royal Hospital of Invalids at Paris looked upon them as Theorists only and treated them with as little ceremony as he had shewn the others So that at last from their frequent differences it became necessary to part with either him or them His pride when he knew that this question was a subject of debate would not allow him to leave the family an option He made his demand It was complied with and he returned to Paris
From what this gentleman threw out at parting to the disparagement of the two others Signor Jeronymo suspected their skill and from a hint of this suspicion as soon as I knew I should be welcome myself I procured the favour of Mr Lowthers attendance
All Mr Lowthers fear is that Signor Jeronymo has been kept too long in hand by the different managements of the several operators and that he will sink under the necessary process through weakness of habit But however he is of opinion that it is requisite to confine him to a strict dict and to deny him wine and fermented liquors in which he has hitherto been indulged against the opinion of his own operators who have been too complaisant to his appetite
An operation somewhat severe was performed on his shoulder yesterday morning The Italian surgeons complimented Mr Lowther with the lancet They both praised his dexterity and Signor Jeronymo who will be consulted on everything that he is to suffer blessed his gentle hand
At Mr Lowthers request a physician was yesterday consulted who advised some gentle aperitives as his strength will bear it and some balsamics to sweeten the blood and juices
Mr Lowther told me just now that the fault of
the gentlemen who have now the care of him has not been want of skill but of critical courage and a too great solicitude to oblige their patient which by their own account had made them forego several opportunities which had offered to assist nature In short Sir said he your friend knows too much of his own case to be ruled and too little to qualify him to direct what is to be done especially as symptoms must have been frequently changing
Mr Lowther doubts not he says but he shall soon convince Jeronymo that he merits his confidence and then he will exact it from him and in so doing shall not only give weight to his own endeavours to serve him but rid the other two gentlemen of embarrasments which have often given them diffidencies when resolution was necessary
Mean time the Marquis his Lady the Bishop and Father Marescotti are delighted with Mr Lowther They will flatter themselves they say with hopes of their Jeronymos recovery which however Mr Lowther for fear of disappointment does not encourage Jeronymo himself owns that his spirits are much revived and we all know the power that the mind has over the body
Thus have I given you my reverend friend a general notion of Jeronymos case as I understand it from Mr Lowthers as general representation of it
The family have prevailed upon him to accept of an apartment adjoining to that of his patient Jeronymo said that when he knows he has so skilful a friend near him he shall go to rest with confidence and good rest is of the highest consequence to him
What a happiness my dear Dr Bartlett will fall to my share if I may be an humble instrument in the hand of Providence to heal this brother and if his recovery shall lead the way to the restoration of his sister each so known a lover of the other that the world is more ready to attribute her malady to his
misfortune and danger than to any other cause But how early days are these on which my love and my compassion for persons so meritorious embolden me to build hopes so forward
Lady Clementina is now impatiently expected by every one She is at Urbino The General and his Lady are with her His haughty spirit cannot bear to think she should see me or that my attendance on her should be thought of so much importance to her
The Marchioness in a conversation that I have just now had with her hinted this to me and besought me to keep my temper if his high notion of family and female honour should carry him out of his usual politeness
I will give you my dear friend the particulars of this conversation
She began with saying that she did not for her part now think that her beloved daughter whom once she believed hardly any private man could deserve was worthy of me even were she to recover her reason
I could not but guess the meaning of so high a compliment What answer could I return that would not on one hand be capable of being thought cool on the other of being supposed interested and as if I were looking forward to a reward that some of the family still think too high But while I knew my own motives I could not be displeased with a Lady who was not at liberty to act in this point according to her own will
I only said and it was with truth That the calamity of the •••le Lady had endeared her to me more than it was possible the most prosperous fortune could have done
I my good Chevalier may say any-thing to you We are undetermined about every▪thing We know not what to propose what to consent to Your
journey on the first motion tho but from some of us the dear creature continuing ill you in possession of a considerable estate exercising yourself in doing good in your native country You must think we took all opportunities of enquiring aster the man once so likely to be one of us the first fortune in Italy Olivia tho she is not a Clementina pursuing you in hopes of calling herself yours for to England we hear she went and there you own she is What obligations have you laid upon us—What can we determine upon What can we wish
Providence and you madam shall direct my steps▪ I am in yours and your Lords power The same uncertainty from the same unhappy cause leaves me not the thought because not the power of determination The recovery of Lady Clementina and her brother without a view to my own interest fills up at present all the wishes of my heart
Let me ask said the Lady it is for my own private satisfaction Were such a happy event as to Clementina to take place could you would you think yourself bound by your former offers
When I made those offers madam the situation on your side was the same that it is now Lady Clementina was unhappy in her mind My fortune it is true is higher It is indeed as high as I wish it to be I then declared That if you would give me your Clementina without insisting on one hard on one indispensable article I would renounce her fortune and trust to my fathers goodness to me for a provision Shall my accession to the estate of my ancestors alter me—No madam I never yet made an offer that I receded from the circumstances •ontinuing the same If in the article of residence the Marquis and you and Clementina would relax I would acknowlege myself indebted to your goodness but without conditioning for it
I told you said she that I put this question only
for my own private satisfaction And I told you truth I never will deceive or mislead you Whenever I speak to you it shall be as if even in your own concerns I spoke to a third person and I shall not doubt but you will have the generosity to advise as such tho against yourself
May I be enabled to act worthy of your good opinion I madam look upon myself as bound You and yours are free
What a pleasure is it my dear Dr Bartlett to the proud heart of your friend that I could say this—Had I sought in pursuance of my own ••••inations to engage the affections of the admirable Miss Byron as I might with honour have endeavoured to do had not the woes of this noble family and the unhappy state of mind of their Clementina so deeply affected me I might have involved myself and that loveliest of women in difficulties which would have made such a heart as mine still more unhappy than it is
Let me know my dear Dr Bartlett that Miss Byron is happy I rejoice whatever be my own destiny that I have not involved her in my uncertainties The Countess of D is a worthy woman The Earl her son is a good young man Miss Byron merits such a mother the Countess such a daughter How dear how important is her welfare to me—You know your Grandison my good Dr Bartlett Her friendship I presumed to ask I dared not to wish to correspond with her I rejoice for her sake that I trusted not my heart with such a proposal What difficulties my dear friend have I had to encounter with—God be praised that I have nothing with regard to these two incomparable women to reproach myself with I am persuaded that our prudence if rashly we throw not ourselves into difficulties and if we will exert it and make a reliance on the proper assistance is generally proportioned to our trials
I asked the Marchioness after Lady Sforza and her daughter Laurana and whether they were at Milan
You have heard no doubt answered she the cruel treatment that my poor child met with from her cousin Laurana Lady Sforza justifies her in it We are upon extrame bad terms on that account They are both at Milan The General has vowed that he never will see them more if he can avoid it The Bishop only as a Christian can forgive them You Chevalier know the reason why we cannot allow our Clementina to take the veil
The particular reasons I have not madam been inquisitive about but have always understood them to be family ones grounded on the dying request of one of her grandfathers
Our daughter Sir is intitled to a considerable estate which joins to our own domains It was purchased for her by her two grandfathers who vied with each other in demonstrating their love of her by solid effects One of them my father was in his youth deeply in Love with a young Lady of great merit and she was thought to love him But in a fit of pious bravery as he used to call it when everything between themselves and between the friends on both sides was concluded on she threw herself into a Convent and passing steadily through the probationary forms took the veil but afterwards repented and took pains to let it be known that she was unhappy This gave him a disgust against the sequestred life tho he was in other respects a zealous Catholic And Clementina having always a serious turn in order to deter her from embracing it both grandfathers being desirous of strengthening their house as well in the female as male line they inserted a clause in each of their wills by which they gave the estate designed for her in case she took the veil to Laurana and her descendants Laurana to enter into possession of it on the day that Clementina should be professed But if Clementina married Laurana was then to be intitled only to a handsome legacy that
she might not be entirely disppointed For the reversion in case Clementina had no children was to go to our eldest son who however has been always generously folicitous to have his sister marry
Both grandfathers were rich Our son Giacomo on my fathers death as he had willed entered upon a considerable estate in the kingdom of Naples which had for ages been in my family He is therefore, and will be greatly provided for Our second son has great prospects before him in the church But you know he cannot marry Poor Jeronymo We had not before his misfortune any great hopes of strengthening the family by his means He alas as you well know who took such laudable pains to reclaim him before we knew you with great qualities imbibed free notions from bad company and declared himself a despiser of marriage This the two grandfathers knew and often deplored for Jeronymo and Clementina were equally their favourites To him and the Bishop they bequeathed great legacies
We suspected not till very lately that Laurana was deeply in Love with the Count of Belvedere and that her mother and she had views to drive our sweet child into a convent that Laurana might enjoy the estate which they hoped would be an inducement to the Count to marry her Cruel Laurana Cruel Lady Sforza So much love as they both pretended to our child and I believe had till the temptation strengthened by power became too strong for them Unhappy the day that we put her into their hands
Besides the estate so bequeathed to Clementina we can do great things for her Few Italian families are so rich as ours Her brothers forget their own interest when it comes into competition with hers She is as generous as they Our four children never knew what a contention was but who should give up
an advantage to the other This child this sweet child was ever the delight of us all and likewise of our brother the Conte della Porretta What joy would her recovery and nuptials give us—dear creature We have sometimes thought that she is the fonder of the sequestred life as it is that which we wish her not to embrace—But can Clementina be perverse She cannot Yet that was the life of her choice when she had a choice her grandfathers wishes notwithstanding
Will you now wonder Chevalier that neither our sons nor we can allow Clementina to take the veil Can we so reward Laurana for her cruelty Especially now that we suspect the motives for her barbarity Could I have thought that my sister Sforza—But what will not Love and Avarice do their powers united to compass the same end the one reigning in the bosom of the mother the other in that of the daughter Alas alas they have between them broken the spirit of my Clementina The very name of Laurana gives her terror—So far is she sensible But O Sir her sensibility appears only when she is harshly treated To tenderness she had been too much accustomed to make her think an indulgent treatment now ••r unusual
I dread my dear Dr Bartlet yet am impatient to see the unhappy Lady I wish the general were not to accompany her I am afraid I shall want temper if he forget his My own heart when it tells me that I have not deserved ill usage from my equals and superiors in rank especially bids me not bear it I am ashamed to own to you my reverend friend that pride of spirit which knowing it to be my fault I ought long ago to have subdued
Make my compliments to every one I love Mr and Mrs Reeves are of the number
Charlotte I hope is happy If she is not it must be her own fault Let her know that I will not
allow when my love to both sisters is equal that she shall give me cause to say that Lady L is my best sister
Lady Olivin gives me uneasiness I am ashamed my dear Dr Bartlett that a woman 〈◊〉 a r•nk so considerable and who his some great qualities should lay herself under obligation to the comp••lion of a man who can only pity her When a woman gets over that delicacy which is the test or bulwark as I may say of modesty—Modesty itself may soon lie at the mercy of an enemy
Tell my Emily that she is never out of my mind and that among the other excellent examples she has before her Miss Byrons must never be out of hers
Lord L and Lord G are in full possession of my brotherly love
I shall not at present write to my Beauchamp In writing to you I write to him
You know all my heart If in this or my future Letters any-thing should sall from my pen that would possibly in your opinion affect or give uneasiness to any one I love and honour were it to be communicated I depend upon your known and unquestionable discretion to keep it to yourself
I shall be glad you will enable yourself to inform me of the way Sir Hargrave and his friends are in They were very ill at Paris and it was thought too weak and too much bruised to be soon carried over to England Men Englishmen thus to disgrace themselves and their country—I am concerne d for them
I expect large pacquets by the next mails from my friends England which was always dear to me never was half so dear as now to
Your everaffectionate GRANDISON
Bologna May 1122
THE Bishop set out yesterday for Urbino in order to inform himself of his sisters state of health and perhaps to qualify the General to meet me with temper and politeness Were I sure the good prelate thought this necessary my pride would be excited
The Count of Belvedere arrived here yesterday He made it his first business to see me He acquainted me but in confidence▪ that proposals of marriage with Lady Laurana had actually been made him To which he had returned answer that his heart however hopelesly was engaged and that he never could think of any other woman than Lady Clementina
He made no scruple he said of returning so short an answer because he had been apprised of the cruelty with which one of the noblest young women in Italy had been treated by the proposers and with their motives for it
You see Chevalier said he that I am open and unreserved to you You will oblige me if you will let me know what it is you propose to yourself in the present situation—But first I should be glad to hear from your own mouth what passed between you and Clementina and the family before you quitted Italy the last time I have had their account
I gave him a very faithful relation of it He was pleased with it Exactly as it has been represented to me said he Were Clementina and you of one reigion there could have been no hope for any other man I adore her for her piety and for her attachment to hers and am not so narrowminded a man but I can admire you for yours As her malady is accidental I never w ould think of any other woman
could I flatter myself that she would not if restored be unhappy with me—But now tell me I am earnest to know Are you come over to us I know you are invited with an expectation to call her yours in case of her recovery
I answered him as I had done the Marchioness
He seemed as much pleased with me as I am with him He is gone back to Parma
Friday May 1223
THE Bishop is returned Lady Clementina has been very ill A fever How has she been hurried about He tells me that the General and his Lady and also the Conte della Porretta acknowlege themselves and their whole family obliged to me for the trouble I have been at to serve their Jeronymo
The fever having left Lady Clementina the will set out in a day or two The Count and Signor Sebastiano as well as the General and his Lady will attend her I am impatient to see her Yet how greatly will the sight of her afflict me The Bishop says she is the picture of silent woe Yet tho greatly emaciated looks herself were his words They told her that Jeronymo was better than he had been Your dear Jeronymo said the General to her The sweet echo repeated—Jeronymo—and was again silent
They afterwars proposed to name me to her They did She looked quick about her as if for Somebody Laura her maid was occasionally called upon She started and threw her arms about Camilla as terrified looking wildly Camilla doubts not but by the name Laura she apprehended the savage Laurana to be at hand
How must she have suffered from her barbarity▪—Sweet Innocent she who even in her ••sveries thought not but of good to the Soul of the man whom she honoured with her regard—She who bore offence
without resentment and by meekness only sought to calm the violence for which she had not given the least cause
But when Camilla and she had retired she spoke to her The Bishop gave me the following dialogue between them as he had it from Camilla
Did they not name to me the Chevalier Grandison said she
They did madam
See see said she before I name him again if my cruel cousin hearken not at the door
Your cruel cousin madam is at many miles distance
She may hear what I say for all that
My dear Lady Clementina she cannot hear She shall never more come near you
So you say
Did I ever deceive you madam
I cant remember My memory is gone quite gone Camilla
She then looked earnestly at Camilla and screamed
What ails you my dearest young Lady
Recovering herself—Ah my own Camilla It is you I thought by the cast of your eye you were become Laurana—Do not do not give me such another look
Camilla was not sensible of any particularity in her looks
Here you have me again upon a journey Camilla But how do I know that I am not to be carried to my cruel cousin
You are really going to your fathers palace at Bologna madam
Is my mother there
She is
Who else
The Chevalier madam
What Chevalier
Grandison
Impossible Is he not in proud England
He is come over madam
What for
With a skilful English surgeon in hopes to cure Signor Jeronymo—
Poor Jeronymo
And to pay his compliments to you madam
Flatterer How many hundred times have I been told so
Should you wish to see him madam
See whom
The Chevalier Grandison
Once I should and sighed
And not now madam
No I have lost all I had to say to him Yet I wish I were allowed to go to that England We poor women are not suffered to go anywhither while men—
There she stopt and Camilla could not make her say any more
The Bishop was fond of repeating these particulars as she had not for some time talked so much and so sensibly
Friday Evening
I PASS more than half my time with Signor Jeronymo but that I may not fatigue his spirits at different hours of the day The Italian surgeons and Mr Lowther happily agree in all their measures They applaud him when his back is turned and he speaks well of them in their absence This mutual return of good offices which they hear of unites them The patient declares that he had not for months been so easy as now Everybody attributes a great deal to his hearts being revived by my frequent visits Tomorrow it is proposed to make an opening below the most difficult wound Mr Lowther says he will not flatter us till he sees the success of this operation
The Marquis and his Lady are inexpressibly obliging to me I had yesterday a visit from both on an indisposition that confined me to my chamber occasioned I believe by a hurry of spirits by fatigue by my apprehensions for Jeronymo my concern for Clementina and by my too great anxiety for the dear friends I had so lately left in England
You know Dr Bartlett that I have a heart too susceptible for my own peace tho I endeavour to conceal from others those painful sensibilities which they cannot relieve The poor Olivia was ever to be my disturbance Miss Byron must be happy in the rectitude of her own heart I am ready to think that she will not be able to resist the warm instances of the Countess of D in favour of her son who is certainly one of the best young men among the nobility She will be the happiest woman in the world as she is one of the most deserving if she be as happy as I wish her
Emily takes up a large portion of my thoughts
Our Beauchamp I know must be happy So must my Lord W my Sisters and their Lords—Why then shall I not think myself so God restore Jeronymo and his Sister and I must I will for you my dear Dr Bartlett are so And then I will subscribe myself a partaker of the happiness of all my friends and particularly
Your everaffectionate GRANDISON
Bologna Monday May 1526
LAST night arrived Lady Clementina the General his Lady the Count and Signor Sebastiano
I had left Jeronymo about an hour He had had in the morning the intended opening made by Mr Lowther He would have me present
The operation was happily performed But thro weakness of body he was several times in the day troubled with faintings
I left him tolerably chearful in the evening and rejoicing in expectation of his sisters arrival and▪ as the Bishop had assured him of the Generals grateful disposition he longed he said to see that affectionate brother and his Lady once more He had never but once seen her before and then was so ill that he could hardly compliment her on the honour she had done their family
The bishop sent to tell me that his sister was arrived but that being fatigued and unhappy Camilla should acquaint me in the morning with the way in which she should then be
I slept not half an hour the whole night You my dear friend will easily account for my restlesness
I sent as usual early in the morning to know how Jeronymo rested The answer was favourable returned by Mr Lowther who sat up with him that night at his own motion He knew not but something critical might happen
Camilla came The good woman was so full of her own joy to see me once more in Italy that I could not presently get a word from her of what my heart throbbed with impatience to know
At last You will said she have the General and the Bishop with you Ah Sir my poor young Lady What has she suffered since you left us You will not know her We are not sure she will know you Who shall be able to bear the first interview She has now but few intervals It is all one gloomy confusion with her She cares not to speak to anybody Every stranger she sees terrifies her O the vile thrice vile Lady Laurana—
In this manner ran on Camilla Nor would she enter into any other particulars than the unhappy ones she left me to collect from the broken hints and exclamations thus thrown out Alas thought I the calamities of Clementina have affected the head of the poor Camilla She hurried away lest she should be wanted and lest the General should find her with me
The two brothers came soon after The General took my hand with a kind of forced politeness We are all obliged to you Sir said he for your Mr Lowther Are the surgeons of England so famous But the people of your nation have been accustomed to give wounds They should therefore furnish operators to heal them We are obliged to you also for the trouble you have given yourself in coming over to us in person Jeronymo has found a revival of spirits upon it God grant they may not subside But alas our sister—Poor Clementina—She is lost
Would to God said the Bishop we had left her to the care of Mrs Beaumont
The General himself having taken her from Florence would not join in this wish There was a middle course he said that ought to have been taken But Laurana is a daughter of the devil said he and Lady Sforza ought to be detested for upholding her
The General expressed himself with coldness on my coming over but said that now I was on the spot and as his sister had been formerly desirous of seeing me an interview might be permitted in order to satisfy those of the family who had given me the invitation which it was very good of me to accept especially as I had the Lady Olivia in England attending my motions But otherwise he had no opinion—There he stopt
I looked upon him with indignation mingled with contempt And directing myself to the Bishop You
remember my Lord said I the story of Naaman the Syrian a
What is that my Lord said he to the Bishop
Far be it from me continued I still directing myself to the Bishop to presume upon my own consequence in the application of the story But your Lordship will judge how far the comparison will hold Would to God it might throughout
A happy allusion said the Bishop I say Amen
I know not who this Naaman is said the General nor what is meant by your allusion Chevalier But by your looks I should imagine that you mean me contempt
My looks my Lord generally indicate my heart You may make light of my intention and so will I of the trouble I have been at if your Lordship make not light of me But were I my Lord in your own palace at Naples I would tell you that you seem not to know in my case what graciousness is Yet I ask not for favour from you but as much for your own sake as mine
Dear Grandison said the Bishop—My Lord to his brother—Did you not promise me—Why did you mention Olivia to the Chevalier
Does that disturb you Sir said the General to me I cannot make light of a man of your consequence especially with Ladies Sir—in a scornful manner
The General you see my Lord▪ said I turning to the Bishop has an insuperable illwill to me I found when I attended him at Naples that he had harboured surmises that were as injurious to his sister as to me I was in hopes that I had obviated them but a rooted malevolence will recur However satisfied as I am with my own 〈◊〉 he shall for many sakes find it very difficult to provoke me
For my own sake among the rest Chevalier with an air of drollery
You are at liberty returned I to make your own constructions Allow me my Lords to attend you to Signor Jeronymo
Not till you are cordial friends said the Bishop—Brother give me your hand offering to take it—Chevalier yours—
Dispose of mine as you please my Lord said I holding it out
He took it and the Generals at the same time and would have joined them
Come my Lord said I to the General and snatched his reluctant hand accept of a friendly offer from a heart as friendly Let me honour you from my own knowlege for those great qualities which the world gives you I demand your favour from a consciousness that I deserve it and that I could not were I to submit to be treated with indignity by any man I should be sorry to look little in your eyes but I will not in my own
Who can bear the superiority this man assumes brother
You oblige me my Lord to assert myself
The Chevalier speaks nobly my Lord His character is well known Let me lead you both friends to our Jeronymo But say Brother—Say Chevalier that you are so
I cannot bear said the General that the Chevalier Grandison should imagine himself of so much consequence to my sister as some of you seem to think him
You know me not my Lord I have at present no wish but for the recovery of your sister and Signor Jeronymo Were I able to be of service to them that service would be my reward But my Lord if it will make you easy and induce you to treat me as my own heart tells me I ought to be treated I will give you my honour and let me say that it never yet was forfeited that whatever turn your sisters
malady may take I will not accept of the heighest favour that can be done me but with the joint consent of the three brothers as well as of your father and mother Permit me to add that I will not enter into any family that shall think meanly of me nor subject the woman I love to the contempt of her own relations
This indeed is nobly said replied the General Give me your hand upon it and I am your friend for ever
Proud man He could not bear to think that a sumple English gentleman as he looks upon me to be should ally with their family improbable as it is in his own opinion that the unhappy Lady should ever recover her reason But he greatly loves the Count of Belvedere and all the family was fond of an alliance with that deserving nobleman
The Bishop rejoiced to find us at last in a better way of understanding each other than we had hitherto been in and it was easier for me to allow for this haughty man as Mrs Beaumont had let me know what the behaviour was that I had to expect from him And indeed his father mother and two brothers were very apprehensive of it It will therefore be a pleasure to them that I have so easily overcome his prejudices
They both advised me to suspend my visit to their brother till the afternoon that they might have the more time to consult with one another, and to prepare and dispose their sister to see me
At taking leave the General snatched my hand and with an air of pleasantry said I have a wife Grandison I wished him joy You need not said he for I have it One of the best of women She longs to see you I think I need not be apprehensive because she is generous and I ever must be grateful But take care take care Grandison I shall watch every turn of your eye Admire her if you will
You will not be able to help it But I am glad she saw you not before she was mine
I rejoice said the Bishop that a meeting which notwithstanding your promises brother gave me apprehensions as we came is followed by so pleasant a parting Henceforth we are four Brothers again
Ay and remember Chevalier that my Sister has also four Brothers
May the number Four not be lessened by the death of my Jeronymo and may Clementina be restored and Providence dispose as it pleases of me I am now going to the palace of Porretta with what agitations of mind you Dr Bartlett can better imagine than I describe
END of the FOURTH VOLUME
THE HISTORY OF Sir CHARLES GRANDISON IN A SERIES of LETTERS Published from the ORIGINALS By the Editor of PAMELA and CLARISSA
In SEVEN VOLUMES
VOL V
LONDON Printed by S RICHARDSON AND DUBLIN Reprinted and sold by the Booksellers M DCC LIII
THE HISTORY OF Sir CHARLES GRANDISON Bart
Bologna Monday Night May 1526
_I Am just returned You will expect me to be particular
I went the earlier in the afternoon that I might pass half an hour with my Jeronymo He complains of the aperture so lately made But Mr Lowther gives us hopes from it
When we were alone They will not let me see my sister said he I am sure she must be very bad But I understand that you are to be allowed that favour byandby O my Grandison how I pity that tender that generous heart of yours—But what have you done to the General He assures me that
he admires and loves you and the Bishop has been congratulating me upon it He knew it would give me pleasure My dear Grandison you subdue everybody yet in your own way for they both admire your spirit
Just then came in the General He saluted me in so kind a manner that Jeronymos eyes overflowed and he said Blessed be God that I have lived to see you two dearest of men to me so friendly together
This sweet girl said the General—How Grandison will you bear to see her
The Bishop entered O Chevalier my sister is insensible to everything and everybody Camilla is nobody with her today
They had forgot Jeronymo tho in his chamber and their attention being taken by his audible sensibilities they comforted him and withdrew with me into Mr Lowthers apartment while Mr Lowther went to his patient
The Marchioness joined us in tears This dear child knows me not heeds me not She never was unmindful of her mother before I have talked to her of the Chevalier Grandison She regards not your name O this affecting silence—Camilla has told her that she is to see you My daughterinlaw has told her so O Chevalier she has quite quite lost her understanding Nay we were barbarous enough to try the name of Laurana She was not terrified as she used to be with that
Camilla came in with a face of joy Lady Clementina has just spoken I told her she must prepare to see the Chevalier Grandison in all his glory and that everybody the General in particular admired him Go naughty Camilla said she tapping my hand you are a wicked deceiver I have been told this story too often to credit it This was all I could get her to say
Hence it was concluded that she would take some notice of me when she saw me and I was led
by the General followed by the rest into the Marchionesss drawingroom
Father Marescotti had given me an advantageous character of the Generals Lady whom I had not yet seen The Bishop had told me that she was such another excellent woman as his mother and like her had the Italian reserve softened by a polite French education The Marquis the Count Father Marescotti and this real fine Lady were in the drawingroom The General presented me to her I do not madam bid you admire the Chevalier Grandison But I forgive you if you do because you will not be able to do otherwise
My Lord said she you told me an hour ago that I must And now that I see the Chevalier you will have no cause to reproach me with disobedience
I bowed on her hand Father Marescotti madam said I bid me expect from the Lady of the young Marchese della Porretta everything that was condescending and good Your compassionate Love for an unhappy new sister who deserves everyones Love exalts your character
Father Marescotti came in We took our places It was designed I found to try to revive the young Ladys attention by introducing her in full assembly I one of it But I could not forbear asking the Marchioness if Lady Clementina would not be too much startled at so much company
I wish said the Marquis sighing that she may be startled
We meet as only on a conversationvisit said the Marchioness We have tried every other way to awaken her attention
We are all near relations said the Bishop
And want to make our observations said the General
She has been bid to expect you among us resumed the Marchioness We shall only be attended by Laura and Camilla
Just then entered the sweet Lady leaning upon Camilla Laura attending Her movement was slow and solemn Her eyes were cast on the ground Her robes were black and flowing A veil of black gause half covered her face What woe was there in it
What at that moment was my emotion I arose from my seat sat down and arose again irresolute not knowing what I did or what to do
She stopt in the middle of the floor and made some motion in silence to Camilla who adjusted her veil But she looked not before her lifted not up her eyes observed nobody
On her stopping I was advancing towards her but the General took my hand Sit still sit still dear Grandison said he Yet I am charmed with your sensibility She comes She moves towards us
She approached the table round which we sat her eyes more than half closed and cast down She turned to go towards the window Here here madam said Camilla leading her to an elbowchair that had been placed for her between the two Marchionesses She implicitly took her womans directions and sat down Her mother wept The young Marchioness wept Her father sobbed and looked from her Her mother took her hand My love said she look around you
Pray sister said the Count her uncle leave her to her own observation
She was regardless of what either said her eyes were cast down and half closed Camilla stood at the back of her chair
The General grieved and impatient arose and stepping to her My dearest sister said he hanging over her shoulder look upon us all Do not scorn us do not despise us See your father your mother your sister and everybody in tears If you love us smile upon us He took the hand which her mother had quitted to attend her own emotions
She reared up her eyes to him and sweetly condescending tried to smile but such a solemnity had taken possession of her features that she only could shew her obligingness by the effort Her smile was a smile of woe And still further to shew her compliance withdrawing her hand from her brother she looked on either side of her and seeing which was her mother she with both hands took hers and bowed her head upon upon it
The Marquis arose from his seat his handkerchief at his eyes Sweet creature said he never never let me again see such a smile as that It is here putting his hand to his breast
Camilla offered her a glass of limonade she accepted it not nor held up her head for a few moments
Obliging sister you do not scorn us said the General See Father Marescotti is in tears The reverend man sat next me Pity his grey hairs See my Lord your own father too—Comfort your father His grief for your silence—
She cast her eyes that way She saw me Saw me greatly affected She started She looked again again started and quitting her mothers hand now changing pale now reddening she arose and threw her arms about her Camilla—O Camilla was all she said a violent burst of tears wounding yet giving some ease to every heart I was springing to her and should have clasped her in my arms before them all but the General taking my hand as I reached her chair Dear Grandison said he pronouncing in her ear my name keep your seat If Clementina remembers her English tutor she will bid you welcome once more to Bologna—O Camilla said she faithful good Camilla Now at last have you told me truth It is it is he—And her tears would flow as she hid her face in Camillas bosom
The Generals native pride again shewed itself He
took me aside I see Grandison the consequence you are of to this unhappy girl Every one sees it But I depend upon your honour You remember what you said this morning—
Good God said I with some emotion I stopt—And resuming with pride equal to his own Know Sir that the man whom you thus remind calls himself a man of honour and you as well as the rest of the world shall find him so
He seemed a little abashed I was flinging from him not too angrily for him but for the rest of the company had they not been attentive to the motions of their Clementina
We however took the Bishops eye He came to us
I left the General and the Bishop led him out in order to enquire into the occasion of my warmth
When I turned to the company I found the dear Clementina supported by the two Marchionesses and attended by Camilla just by me passing towards the door in order it seems at her motion to withdraw She stopt Ah Chevalier said she and reclining her head on her mothers bosom seemed ready to faint I took one hand as it hung down lifelessly extended her mother held the other and kneeling pressed it with my lips—Forgive me Ladies forgive me Lady Clementina—My soul overflowed with tenderness tho the moment before it was in a tumult of another kind for she cast down her eyes upon me with a benignity that for a long time they all afterwards owned they had not beheld I could not say more I arose She moved on to the door and when there turned her head straining her neck to look after me till she was out of the room I was a statue for a few moments till the Count snatching my hand and Father Marescottis who stood nearest him We see to what the malady is owing—Father you must join their hands—Chevalier you will be
a Catholic—Will you not—O that you would said the Father—Why why joined in the Count did we refuse the soearnestly requested interview a year and half ago
The young Marchioness returned weeping—They will not permit me to stay My sister my dear sister is in fits—O Sir turning graciously to me you are—I will not say what you are—But I shall not be is danger of disobeying my Lord on your account
Just then entered the General led in by the Bishop Now brother said the latter if you will not be generous be however just—Chevalier Were you not a little hasty
I was my Lord But surely the General was unseasonable
Perhaps I was
There is as great a triumph my Lord said I in a due acknowlegement as in a victory Know me my Lords as a man incapable of meanness who will assert himself but who from the knowlege he has of his own heart wishes at his soul to be received as the unquestionably disinterested friend of this whole family Excuse me my Lords I am obliged to talk greatly because I would not wish to act petulantly But my soul is wounded by those distresses which had not I am sorry to say it a little while ago a first place in your heart
Do you reproach me Grandison
I need not my Lord if you feel it as such But indeed you either know not me or forget yourself And now having spoken all my mind I am ready to ask your pardon for any-thing that may have offended you in the manner I snatched his hand so suddenly I hope not rudely but rather fervently that he started—Receive me my Lord as a Friend I will deserve your friendship
Tell me brother said he to the Bishop what I shall say to this strange man Shall I be angry or pleased
Be pleased my Lord replied the Prelate
The General embraced me—Well Grandison you have overcome I was unseasonable You were passionate Let us forgive each other
His Lady stood suspended not being able to guess at the occasion of this behaviour and renewed friendship The Count was equally surprised Father Marescotti seemed also at a loss The Marquis had withdrawn
We sat down and reasoned variously on what had passed with regard to the unhappy Lady according to the hopes and fears which actuated the bosoms of each But I cannot help thinking that had this interview been allowed to pass with less surprize to her she might have been spared those fits with the affecting description of which the young Marchioness alarmed us till Camilla came in with the happy news that she was recovering from them and that her mother was promising her another visit from me in hopes it would oblige her tho it was not what she required
I took this opportunity to put into the hands of the young Marchioness sealed up the opinions of the physicians I had consulted in England on the case of Clementina requesting that she would give it to her mother in order to have it considered
The Bishop withdrew to acquaint Jeronymo in the way he thought best with what had passed in this first interview with his sister resolving not to take any notice of the little sally of warmth between the General and me
I hope to make the pride and passion of this young nobleman of use to myself by way of caution For am I not naturally too much inclined to the same fault O Dr Bartlett how have I regretted the passion I suffered myself to be betrayd into by the foolish violence of OHara and Salmonet in my own house when it would have better become me to have had them shewed out of it by my servants
And yet were I to receive affronts with tameness from those haughty spirits who think themselves of a rank superior to me and from men of the sword I who make it a principle not to draw mine but in my own defence should be subjected to insults that would be continually involving me in the difficulties I am solicitous to avoid
I attended the General and his Lady to Jeronymo The generous youth forgot his own weak state in the hopes he flatterd himself with of a happy result to his sisters malady from the change of symptoms which had already taken place tho violent hysterics disorderd and shook her beforewounded frame
The General said that if she could overcome this first shock perhaps it was the best method that could have been taken to rouse her out of that stupidity and inattention which had been for some weeks so disturbing to them all
There were no hopes of seeing the unhappy Lady again that evening The General would have accompanied me to the Casino a saying that we might both be diverted by an hour passed there But I excused myself My heart was full of anxiety for the welfare of a brother and sister both so much endeared to me by their calamities And I retired to my lodgings
Bologna Tuesday May 1627
I Had a very restless night and found myself so much indisposed in the morning with a feverish disorder that I thought of contenting myself with sending to know how the brother and sister rested and of staying within at least till the afternoon to give my hurried spirits some little repose But my messenger returned with a request from the Marchioness to see me presently
I obeyed Clementina had asked Whether she had really seen me or had only dreamed so They took this for a favourable indication and therefore sent the above request
I met the General in Jeronymos apartment He took notice that I was not very well Mr Lowther proposed to bleed me I consented I afterwards saw my friends wounds dressed The three surgeons pronounced appearances not to be unfavourable
We all then retired into Mr Lowthers apartment The Bishop introduced to us two of the faculty. The prescriptions of the English physicians were considered and some of the methods approved and agreed to be pursued
Clementina when I came was retired to her own apartment with Camilla Her terrors on Lauranas cruelty had again got possession of her imagination and they thought it not adviseable that I should be admitted into her presence till the hurries she was in on that account had subsided
But by this time being a little more composed her mother led her into her dressingroom The Geneneral and his Lady were both present and by their desire I was asked to walk in
Clementina when I entered was sitting close to Camilla her head leaning on her bosom silent and seemingly thoughtful I bowed to her to the two Marchionesses to the General She raised her head and looked towards me and clasping her arms about Camillas neck hid her face in her bosom for a few moments then looking as bashful towards me she loosed her hands stood up and looked steadily at me and at Camilla by turns several times as irresolute At last quitting Camilla she moved towards me with a stealing pace but when near me turning short hurried to her mother and putting one arm about her neck the other held up she looked at me as if she were doubtful whom she saw She seemed to whisper to her mother but not to be understood She went then by her sisterinlaw who took her hand as she passed her with both hers and kissed it and coming to the General who sat still nearer me and who had desired me to attend to her motions she stood by him and looked at me with a sweet irresolution
As she had stolen such advances towards me I could no longer restrain myself I arose and taking her hand Behold the man said I with a bent knee whom once you honourd with the name of tutor your English tutor—Know you not the grateful Grandison whom all your family have honoured with their regard
O yes—Yes—I think I do—They rejoiced to hear her speak—But where have you been all this time
In England madam—But returned lately returned to visit you and your Jeronymo
Jeronymo one hand held up the other not withdrawn Poor Jeronymo
God be praised said the General Some faint hopes The two Marchionesses wept for joy
Your Jeronymo madam and my Jeronymo is we hope in a happy way Do you love Jeronymo
Do I—But what of Jeronymo I dont understand you
Jeronymo now you are well will be happy
Am I well Ah Sir—But save me save me Chevalier—faintly screaming and looking about her with a countenance of woe and terror
I will save you madam The General will also protect you Of whom are you afraid
O the cruel cruel Laurana—She withdrew her hand in a hurry and lifted up the sleeve of the other arm—You shall see—O I have been cruelly used—But you will protect me Forbearing to shew her arm as she seemed to intend
Laurana shall never more come near you
But dont hurt her—Come sit down by me and I will tell you all I have suffered
She hurried to her former seat and sat down by her weeping Camilla I followed her She motioned to me to sit down by her
Why you must know Chevalier—She paused—Ah my head putting her hand to it—Well but now you must leave me Something is wrong—Leave me—I dont know myself—
Then looking with a face of averted terror at me—You are not the same man I talked to just now—Who are you Sir—She again faintly shrieked and threw her arms about Camillas neck once more hideing her face in her bosom
I could not bear this Not very well before it was too much for me I withdrew
Dont withdraw Chevalier said the General drying his eyes
I withdrew however to Mr Lowthers chamber He not being there I shut the door upon myself—So oppressed my dear Dr Bartlett I was greatly oppressed
Recovering myself in a few moments I went to Jeronymo I had but just entered his chamber when the General who seemed unable to speak took my hand and in silence led me to his mothers dressingroom As we entered it She enquires after you
Chevalier said he and laments your departure She thinks she has offended you Thank God she has recollection
When I went in she was in her mothers arms her mother soothing her and weeping over her
See see my child the Chevalier you have not offended him
She quitted her mothers arms I approached her I thought it was not you that sat by me a while ago But when you went away from me I saw it could be nobody but you Why did you go away Was you angry
I could not be angry madam You bid me leave you And I obeyed
Well but now what shall I say to him madam I dont know what I would say You madam stepping with a hasty motion towards her sisterinlaw will not tell Laurana any-thing against me
Unhappy hour said her mother speaking to the General that I ever yielded to her going to the cruel Laurana
The Marchioness took her hand I hate Laurana my dear I love nobody but you
Dont hate her however—Chevalier whisperingly Who is this Lady
The General rejoiced at the question for this was the first time she had ever taken any particular notice of his Lady or enquired who she was notwithstanding her generous tenderness to her
That Lady is your sister your brother Signor Giacomos wife—
My sister how can that be—Where has she been all this time
Your sister by marriage Your elder brothers wife
I dont understand it But why madam did you not tell me so before I wish you happy Laurana would not let me be her cousin Will you own me
The young Marchioness claspd her arms about her My sister my friend my dear Clementina Call me your sister and I shall be happy
What strange things have come to pass
How did these dawnings of reason rejoice every one
Sir turning to the General let me speak with you
She led him by the hand to the other end of the room—Let nobody hear us said she Yet spoke not low What had I to say—I had something to say to you very earnestly I dont know what—
Well dont puzzle yourself my dear to recollect it said the General Your new sister loves you She is the best of women She is the joy of my life Love your new sister my Clementina
So I will Dont I love everybody
But you must love her better than any other woman the best of mothers excepted She is my wife and your sister and she loves both you and our dear Jeronymo
And nobody else Does she love nobody else
Whom else would you have her love
I dont know But everybody I think for I do
Whomever you love she will love She is all goodness
Why thats well I will love her now I know who she is But Sir I have some notion—
Of what my dear
I dont know But pray Sir What brings the Chevalier over hither again
To comfort you your father mother Jeronymo To comfort us all To make us all well and happy in each other
Why thats very good Dont you think so But he was always good Are you brother happy
I am and should be more so if you and Jeronymo were
But that can never never be
God forbid my sister The Chevalier has brought over with him a skilful man who hopes to cure our Jeronymo—
Has the Chevalier done this Why did he not do so before
The General was a little disconcerted but generously said We were wrong we took not right methods I for my part wish we had followed his advice in everything
Bless me—holding up one hand How came all these things about Sir Sir with quickness—I will come again presently—And was making to the door
Camilla stept to her—Whither whither my dear young Lady—O Camilla will do as well—Camilla laying her hand upon her shoulder go to Father Marescotti—Tell him—There she stopt Then proceeding Tell him I have seen a vision—He shall pray for us all
Then stepping to her mother and taking her passive hand she kissed it and stroked her own forehead and cheek with it—Love me madam love your child You dont know neither do I what ails my poor head Heal it Heal it with your gentle hand Again stroking her forehead with it then putting it to her heart
The Marchioness kissing her forehead made her face wet with her tears
Shall I said Camilla go to Father Marescotti
No said the General except she repeats her commands Perhaps she has forgot him already—She said no more of Father Marescotti
The Marchioness thinks that she had some confused notions of the former enmity of the General and Father to me and finding the former reconciled wanted the Father to be so too and to pray for us all
I was willing my dear Dr Bartlett to give you minutely the workings of the poor Ladys mind on our two first interviews Everybody is rejoiced at so hopeful an alteration already
We all thought it best now that she had so surprisingly taken a turn from observing a profound
silence to free talking and shewn herself able with very little incoherence to pursue a discourse that she should not exhaust herself and Camilla was directed to court her into her own dressingroom and endeavour to engage her on some indifferent subjects I asked her leave to withdraw She gave it me readily with these words I shall see you again I hope before you go to England
Often I hope very often answered the General for me
That is very good said she and courtesying to me went up with Camilla
We all went into Jeronymos apartment and the young Marchioness rejoiced him with the relation of what had passed That generous friend was for ascribing to my presence the hopedfor happy alteration while the General declared that he never would have her contradicted for the future in any reasonable request she should make
The Count her uncle and Signor Sebastiano his eldest Son are set out for Urbino They took leave of me at my lodgings He hoped he said that all would be happy and that I would be a Catholic
I HAVE received a large pacquet of Letters from England
I approve of all you propose my dear Dr Bartlett You shall not you say be easy except I will inspect your accounts Dont refuse to give your own worthy heart any satisfaction that it can receive by consulting your true friend But otherwise you need not ask my consent to any-thing you shall think sit to do Of one thing methinks I could be glad that only such children of the poor as shew a peculiar ingenuity have any great pains taken with them in their books Husbandry and labour are what are most wanting to be encouraged among the lower class of people Providence has given to men different geniuss and
capacities for different ends and that all might become useful links of the same great chain Let us apply those talents to Labour those to Learning those to Trade to Mechanics in their different branches which point out the different pursuits and then no person will be unuseful on the contrary every one may be eminent in some way or other Learning of itself, never made any man happy The ploughman makes fewer mistakes in the conduct of life than the scholar because the sphere in which he moves is a more contracted one But if a genius arises let us encourage it There will be rustics enough to do the common services for the finer spirits and to carry on the business of the world if we do not by our own indiscriminate good offices contribute to their misapplication
I will write to congratulate Lord W and his Lady I rejoice exceedingly in their happiness
I will also write to my Beauchamp and to Lady Beauchamp to give her joy on her enlarged heart Surely Dr Bartlett human nature is not so bad a thing as some disgracers of their own species have imagined I have on many occasions found that it is but applying properly to the passions of persons who tho they have not been very remarkable for benevolence may yet be induced to do right things in some manner if not always in the most graceful But as it is an observation that the misers feast is often the most splendid so may we say, as in the cases of Lord W and Lady Beauchamp the one to her soninlaw the other to his Lady and nieces that when such persons are brought to taste the sweets of a generous and beneficent action they are able to behave greatly We should not too soon and without makeing proper applications give up persons of ability or power upon conceptions of their general characters and then with the herd set our faces against them as if we knew them to be invincible How many
ways are there to overcome persons who may not however be naturally beneficent Policy a regard for outward appearances ostentation love of praise will sometimes have great influences and not seldom is the requester of a favour himself in fault who perhaps shews as much self in the application as the refuser does in the denial
Let Charlotte know that I will write to her when she gives me a subject
I will write to Lord and Lady L by the next mail To write to either is to write to both
I have already answered Emilys favour I am very glad that her mother and her mothers husband are so wife as to pursue their own interests in their behaviour to that good girl and their happiness in their conduct to each other
My poor cousin Grandison—I am concerned for him I have a very affecting Letter from him But I see the proud man in it valuing himself on his knowlege of the world and rather vexed to be overreached by the common artifices of some of the worst people in it than from right principles I know not what I can do for him except I were on the spot I am grieved that he has not profited by other mens wisdom I wish he may by his own experience I will write to him yet neither to reproach him nor to extenuate his folly tho I wish to free him from the consequences of it
I write to my aunt Eleanor to congratulate and welcome her to London I hope to find her there on my return from Italy
The unhappy Sir Hargrave The still unhappier Merceda What sport have they made of their health in the prime of their days and with their reputation How poor would have been their triumph had they escaped by a flight so ignominious the due reward of their iniquitous contrivances But to meet with such a disgraceful punishment and so narrowly to escape
a still more disgraceful one—Tell me Can the poor men look out into open day
But poor Bagenhall sunk as he is almost beneath pity what can be said of him
We see Dr Bartlett in the behaviour and sordid acquiescence with insults of these three men that offensive spirits cannot be true ones
If you have any call or inclination to go to London I am sure you will look in upon the little Oldhams and their mother
My compliments to the young officer I am glad he is pleased with what has been done for him
I have Letters from Paris I am greatly pleased with what is done and doing there in pursuance of my directions relating to the moiety of 3000l left by the good Mr Danby to be disposed of at the discretion of his executor either in France or England As he gained a great part of his considerable fortune in France I think it would have been agreeable to him to find out there half of the objects of his benevolence Why else named he France in his Will
The intention of the bequeather in doubtful cases ought always to be considered And another case has offered which I think as there is a large surplus in my hands after having done by his relations more than they expected and full as much as is necessary to put them in a flourishing way I ought to consider in that light
Mr Danby at his setting out in life owed great obligations to a particular family then in affluent circumstances This family fell by unavoidable accidents into decay Its descendents were numerous Mr Danby used to confer on no less than six granddaughters and four grandsons of this family an annual bounty which kept them just above want And he had put them in hopes that he would cause it to be continued to them as long as they were unprovided for The elder girls were in services the
younger were brought up to be qualified for the same useful way of life The sons were neither idle nor vicious I cannot but think that it was his intention to continue his bounty to them by his last will had he not forgot them when he gave orders for drawing it up which was not till he thought himself in a dying way
Proper enquiries have been made and this affair is settled The numerous family think themselves happy And the supposed intention of my deceased friend is fully answered and no Legatee a sufferer
You kindly my dear Dr Bartlett regret the distance we are at from each other I am the loser by it and not you since I give you by pen and ink almost as minute an account of my proceedings as I could do were we conversing together Such are your expectations upon and such is the obedience of
Your everaffectionate and filial Friend CHARLES GRANDISON
June 1223
WE have now thank God some hopes of our Jeronymo The opening made below the great wound answers happily its intention and that in the shoulder is once more in a fine way
Lady Clementina has been made to understand that he is better and this good news and the method she is treated with partly in pursuance of the advice of the English physicians leave us not without hopes of her recovery
The General and his Lady are gone to Naples in much higher spirits than when they left that city
His Lady seconding his earnest invitation I was not able to deny them the promise of a visit there
Every one endeavours to sooth and humour Lady Clementina and the whole Family is now satisfied that this was the method which always ought to have been taken with her and lay to the charge of Lady Sforza and Laurana perhaps much deeper views than they had at first tho they might enlarge them afterwards and certainly did extend them when the poor Lady was deemed irrecoverable
Let me account to you my dear friend for my silence of near a month since the date of my last
For a fortnight together I was every day once with Lady Clementina She took no small pleasure in seeing me She was very various all that time in her absences sometimes she had sensible intervals but they were not durable She generally rambled much and was very incoherent Sometimes she fell into her silent fits But they seldom lasted long when I came Sometimes she aimed to speak to me in English But her ideas were too much unfixed and her memory too much shattered to make herself understood for a sentence together in the tongue she had so lately learned and for some time disused Yet on the whole her reason seemed to gather strength It was a heavy fortnight to me and the heavier as I was not very well myself—Yet I was loth to forbear my daily visits
Mrs Beaumont at the fortnights end made the family and me a visit of three days In that space Lady Clementinas absences were stronger but less frequent than before
I had by Letter been all this time preparing the persons who had the management of Mr Jervoiss affairs to adjust finally the account relating to his estate which remained unsettled and they let me know that they were quite ready to put the last hand to them It was necessary for me to attend those gentlemen
in person And as Mrs Beaumont could not conveniently stay any longer than the three days I acquainted the Marchioness that I should do myself the honour of attending her to Florence
As well Mrs Beaumont as the Marchioness and the Bishop thought I should communicate my intention and the necessity of pursuing it to Lady Clementina lest on her missing me she should be impatient and we should lose the ground we had gained
I laid before the young Lady in presence of her mother and Mrs Beaumont in a plain and simple manner my obligation to leave her for a few days and the reason for it To Florence said she Does not Lady Olivia live at Florence—She does usually answered Mrs Beaumont But she is abroad on her travels
Well Sir it is not for me to detain you if you have business But what will become of my poor Jeronymo in the mean time—But before I could answer What a silly question is that I will be his comforter
Father Marescotti just then entered—O Father rambled the poor Lady you have not prayed with me for a long time O Sir I am an undone creature I am a lost soul—She fell on her knees and with tears bemoaned herself
She endeavoured after this to recollect what she had been talking of before We make it a rule not to suffer her if we can help it to puzzle and perplex herself by aiming at recollection and therefore I told her what was our subject She fell into it again with chearfulness—Well Sir and when may Jeronymo expect you again—In about ten days I told her And taking her hint I added that I doubted not but she would comfort Signor Jeronymo in my absence She promised she would and wished me happy
I attended Mrs Beaumont accordingly I concluded
to my satisfaction all that remained unadjusted of my Emilys affairs in two days after my arrival at Florence I had a happy two days more with Mrs Beaumont and the Ladies her friends and I stole a visit out of the ten days to the Count of Belvedere at Parma
This excursion was of benefit to my health and having had a Letter from Mr Lowther as I had desired at Modena in my way to Parma with very favourable news in relation both to the sister and brother I returned to Bologna and met with a joyful reception from the Marquis his Lady the Bishop and Jeronymo who all joined to give me a share in the merit that was principally due to Mr Lowther and his assistants with regard to the brothers amendment and to their own soothing methods of treating the beloved sister who followed strictly the prescriptions of her physicians
I was introduced to Lady Clementina by her mother attended only by Camilla The young Lady met me at the entrance of her antechamber with a dignity like that which used to distinguish her in her happier days You are welcome Chevalier said she But you kept not your time I have set it down pulling out her pocketbook—Ten days madam I told you ten days I am exactly to my time—You shall see that I cannot be mistaken smiling But her smiles were not quite her own
She referred me to her book You have reckoned two days twice over madam See here—
Is it possible—I once Sir was a better accomptant Well but we will not stand upon two days in so many I have taken great care of Jeronymo in your absence I have attended him several times and would have seen him oftener but they told me there was no need
I thanked her for her care of my friend—
Thats good enough said she to thank me for the care of myself Jeronymo is myself
Signor Jeronymo replied I cannot be dearer to his sister than he is to me
You are a good man returned she and laid her hand upon my arm I always said so But Chevalier I have quite forgot my English I shall never recover it What happy times were those when I was innocent and was learning English
My beloved young Lady said Camilla was always innocent
No Camilla—No—And then she began to ramble—And taking Camilla under the arm whispering Let us go together to that corner of the room and pray to God to forgive us You Camilla have been wicked as well as I
She went and kneeled down and held up her hands in silence Then rising she came to her mother and kneeled to her her hands lifted up—Forgive me forgive your poor child my mamma
God bless my child Rise my Love—I do forgive you—But do you forgive me tears trickling down her cheeks for ever suffering you to go out of my own sight for delivering you into the management of less kind and less indulgent relations
And God forgive them too rising Some of them made me crazy and then upbraided me with being so God forgive them I do
She then came to me and to my great surprize dropt down on one knee I could not for a few moments tell what to do or what to say to her Her hands held up her fine eyes supplicating—Pray Sir forgive me
Humour humour the dear creature Chevalier said her mother sobbing
Forgive you madam—Forgive you dear Lady for what—You have not offended You could not offend
I raised her and taking her hand pressed it with my lips Now madam forgive me—For this freedom forgive me
O Sir I have given you I have given everybody trouble—I am an unhappy creature and God and you are angry with me—And you will not say you forgive me
Humour her Chevalier
I do I do forgive you most excellent of women
She hesitated a little then turned round to Camilla who stood at a distance weeping and running to her cast herself into her arms hiding her face in her bosom—Hide me hide me Camilla What have I done—I have kneeled to a man—She put her arm under Camillas and hurried out of the room with her
Her mother seeing me in some consusion Rejoice with me Chevalier said she yet weeping that we see tho her reason is imperfect such happy symptoms Our child will I trust in God he once more our own And you will be the happy instrument of restoring her to us
The Marquis and the Bishop were informed of what had passed They also rejoiced in these further daybreaks as I may call them of their Clementinas reason accompanied with that delicacy that never in so innocent a mind can be separated from it
You will observe my dear Dr Bartlett that I only aim to give you an account of the greater and more visible changes that happen in the mind of this unhappy Lady omitting those conversations between her and her friends in which her situation varied but little from those before described By this means you will be able to trace the steps to that recovery of her reason which we presume to hope will be the return to our fervent prayers and humble endeavours
Bologna June 1324
THE Conte della Porretta and the two young Lords Sebastiano and Juliano came hither yesterday to rejoice on the hopeful prospects before us
I thought I saw a little shiness and reserve sit upon the brow of the Marchioness which I had not observed till the arrival of the Count A complaisance that was too civil for friendship for our friendship I never permit a cloud to hang for one hour upon the brow of a friend without examining into the reason of it in hopes it may be in my power to dispel it An abatement in the freedom of one I love is a charge of unworthiness upon me that I must endeavour to obviate the moment I suspect it I desired a private audience of the good Lady
She favoured me with it at the first word But as soon as I had opened my heart to her she asked If Father Marescotti who loved me she said as if I were his own son might be allowed to be present at our conversation I was a little startled at the question but answered By all means
The Father was sent to and came Tender concern and reserve were both apparent in his countenance This shewed that he was apprised of the occasion of the Marchionesss reserve and expected to be called upon or employed in the explanation had I not demanded it
I repeated before him what I had said to the Marchioness of the reserve that I had thought I saw since yesterday in one of the most benign countenances in the world
Chevalier said she if you think that every one of our family as well those of Urbino and Naples as
those of this place do not love you as one of their own family you do not do us justice
She then enumerated and exaggerated their obligations to me I truly told her that I could not do less than I had done and answer it to my own heart
Leave us replied she to judge for ourselves on this subject And for Gods sake do not think us capable of ingratitude We begin with pleasure to see the poor child after a course of sufferings and distresses that few young creatures have gone thro reviving to our hopes She must in gratitude in honour in justice be yours if you require her of us and upon the terms you have formerly proposed
I think so said the Father
What can I say proceeded she We are all distressed I am put upon a task that grieves me Ease my heart Chevalier by sparing my speech
Explain yourself no further madam I fully understand you I will not impute ingratitude to any heart in this family Tell me Father Marescotti if you can allow for me as I could for you were you in my circumstances and you cannot be better satisfied in your religion than I am in mine tell me by what you could do what I ought
There is no answering a case so strongly put replied the Father But can a false religion an heresy persuade an ingenuous mind as strongly as the true
Dear Father Marescotti you know you have said nothing It would sound harshly to repeat your own question to you yet that is all I need to do But let us continue our prayers that the desirable work may be perfected That Lady Clementina may be quite recovered You have seen madam that I have not offered to give myself consequence with her You see the distance I have observed to her You see nothing in her not even in her most afflicting resveries that can induce you to think she has marriage in view
As I told your Ladyship at first I have but one wish at present and that is her perfect recovery
What Father can we say? resumed the Marchioness Advise us Chevalier You know our situation But do not do not impute ingratitude to us Our childs salvation in our own opinion is at stake—If she be yours she will not be long a Catholic—Once more advise us
You generously I know madam think you speak in time both for the young Ladys sake and mine You say she shall be mine upon the terms I formerly offered if I insist upon it I have told the General that I will have the consent of all three brothers as well as yours madam and your good Lords or I will not hope for the honour of your alliance And I have declared to you that I look upon myself as bound upon you all as free If you think that the sense of supposed obligation as Lady Clementina advances in her health may engage her further than you wish let me decline my visits by degrees in order to leave her as disengaged as possible in her own mind and that I may not be thought of consequence to her recovery In the first place I will make my promised visit to the General You see she was not the worse but perhaps the better for my absence of ten days I will pass twenty if you please at Rome and at Naples holding myself in readiness to return post at the first call Let us determine nothing in the interim Depend upon the honour of a man who once more assures you that he looks upon himself as bound and the Lady free and who will act accordingly by her and all your family
They were both silent and looked upon each other
What say you madam to this proposal What say you Father Marescotti Could I think of a more disinterested one I would make it
I say you are a wonderful man
I have not words resumed the Lady—She wept Hard hard fate The man that of all men—
There she stopt The Father was present or perhaps she had said more
Shall we said she acquaint Jeronymo with this conversation
It may disturb him replied I You know madam his generous attachment to me I have promised the General a visit Signor Jeronymo was as much pleased with the promise as with the invitation The performance will add to his pleasure He may get more strength Lady Clementina may be still better And you will from events so happy be able to resolve Still he pleased to remember that I hold myself bound yourselves to be free
Yet I thought at the time with a concern that perheps was too visible When when shall I meet with the returns which my proud heart challenges as its due But then my pride shall I call it came in to my relief—Great God I thank thee thought I that thou enablest me to do what my conscience what humanity tells me is fit and right to be done without taking my measures of right and wrong from any other standard
Father Marescotti saw me affected Tears stood in his eyes He withdrew to conceal his emotion The Marchioness was still more concerned She called me the most generous of men I took a respectful leave and withdrew to Jeronymo
As I was intending to return to my lodgings in order to try to calm there my disturbed mind the Marquis and his Brother and the Bishop sent for me into the Marchionesss drawingroom where were she and Father Marescotti who had acquainted them with what had passed between her himself and me
The Bishop arose and embraced me—Dear Grandison said he how I admire you—Why why will
you not let me call you brother—Were a prince your competitor and you would be a Catholic—
O that you would said the Marchioness her hands and eyes lifted up
And will you not Can you not said the Count
That my Lord is a question kindly put as it shews your regard for me—But it is not to be answered now
The Marquis took my hand He applauded the disinterestedness of my behaviour to his family He approved of my proposal of absence but said that I must myself undertake to manage that part not only with their Clementina but with Jeronymo whose grateful heart would otherwise be uneasy on a surmise that the motion came not from myself but them
We will not rosolve upon any measures said he God continue and improve our prospects and the result we will leave to his providence
I went from them directly to Jeronymo and told him my intention of setting out for Rome and Naples in discharge of my promise to the General and his Lady
He asked me What would become of Clementina in the mean time Was there not too great a danger that she would go back again
I told him I would not go but with her approbation I pleaded my last absence of ten days in favour of my intention Her recovery said I must be a work of time If I am of the consequence your friendship for me supposes her attention will probably be more engaged by short absences and the expectations raised by them than by daily visits I remember not my dear Jeronymo continued I a single instance that could induce any one to imagine that your Clementinas regard for the man you favour was a personal one Friendship never lighted up a purer flame in a human heart than in that of your sister Was not the future happiness of the man she esteemed
the constant I may say the only object of her cares In the height of her malady Did she not declare that were that great article but probably secured she would resign her life with pleasure
True very true Clementina is an excellent creature She ever was And you only can deserve her O that she could be now worthy of you But are my father mother brother willing to part with you Do they not for Clementinas sake make Objections
The last absence fitting so easy on her mind they doubt not but frequent absences may excite her attention
Well well I acquiesce The General and his Lady will rejoice to see you I must not be too selfish God preserve you whereever you go—Only let not the gentle heart of Clementina be wounded by your absence Dont let her miss you
Tomorrow replied I I will consult her She shall determine for me
June 1425
HAVING the honour of an invitation to a conversationvisit to the Cardinal Legate and to meet there the Gonfalonier I went to the palace of Porretta in the morning
After sitting about half an hour with my friend Jeronymo I was admitted to the presence of Lady Clementina Her father mother and the Bishop were with her Clementina Chevalier said her mother was enquiring for you She is desirous to recover her English Are you willing Sir to undertake your pupil again
Ay Chevalier said the young Lady those were
happy times and I want to recover them I want to be as happy as I was then
You have not been very well madam And is it not better to defer our lectures for some days till you are quite established in your health
Why that is the thing I know I have been very ill I know that I am not yet quite well and I want to be so And that is the reason that I would recover my English
You will soon recover it madam when you begin But at present the thought the memory it would require you to exert would perplex you I am afraid the study would rather retard than forward your recovery
Why now I did not expect this from you Sir My mamma has consented
I did my dear because I would deny you nothing that your heart was set upon But the Chevalier has given you such good reasons to suspend his lectures that I wish you would not be earnest in your request
But I cant help it madam I want to be happy
Well madam let us begin now What English book have you at hand
I dont know But I will fetch one
She stept out Camilla after her and poor Lady forgetting her purpose brought down some of her own work the first thing that came to hand out of a drawer that she pulled out in her dressingroom instead of looking into her bookcase It is an unfinished piece of Noahs ark and the rising deluge the execution admirable And coming to me I wonder where it has lain all this time Are you a judge of womens works Chevalier
She went to the table—Come hither and sit down by me I did Madam to her mother my Lord to her brother for the Marquis withdrew in grief upon this Instance of her wandering come and sit down by the Chevalier and me They did She
spread it on the table and in an attentive posture her elbow on the table her head on one hand pointing with the finger of the other—Now tell me your opinion of this work
I praised as it deserved the admirable finger of the workwoman Do you know thats mine Sir said she But tell me everybody can praise Do you see no fault—I think that is one said I and pointed to a disproportion that was pretty obvious—Why so it is I never knew you to be a flatterer
Men who can find faults more gracefully said the Bishop than others praise need not flatter Why thats true said she She sighed I was happy when I was about this work And the drawing was my own too after—after—I forget the painter—But you think it tolerable—Do you
I think it upon the whole very fine If you could rectify that one fault it would be a masterpiece
Well I think Ill try since you like it She rolled it up—Camilla let it be put on my toilette I am glad the Chevalier likes it But Sir if I am not at a loss for my head is not as it should be—
Poor Lady She lost what she was going to say—She paused as if she would recollect it—Do you know at last said she what is the matter with my head putting her hand to her sorehead—Such a strange confusion just here And so stupid She shut her eyes She laid her head on her mothers shoulder who dropt an involuntary tear on her forehead
The Bishop was affected Can you can you Chevalier whispered he suppose this dear creatures reason in your power and yet withhold it from her
Ah my Lord said I how cruel
She raised her head and taking her mothers and Camillas offered salts smelt to them in turn—I think I am a little better Were you Chevalier ever in such a strange way—I hope not—God preserve all people from being as I have been—Why now you
are all affected Why do you all weep What have I said God forbid that I should afflict anybody—Ah Chevalier and laid her hand upon my arm God will bless you I always said you were a tenderhearted man God will pity him that can pity another—But brother my Lord I have not been at church of a long time Have I How long is it—Where is the General Where is my Uncle—Laurana poor Laurana God forgive her She is gone to answer for all her unkindness—And she said she was sorry Did she
Thus rambled the poor Lady What my dear Dr Bartlett can be more affecting than these absences these resveries of a mind once so sound and sensible
She withdrew at her own motion with Camilla and we had no thoughts of communicating to her at that time my intentional absence But as I was about taking my leave for the day Camilla came into Jeronymos chamber where I was and told me that her young Lady was very sedate and desired to see me if I were not gone
She led me into Clementinas dressingroom where was present her mother only who said she thought I might apprise her daughter of my proposed Journey to Naples and she herself began the subject
My dear said she the Chevalier has been acquainting my Lord and me with an engagement he is under to visit your brother Giacomo and his Lady at Naples
That is a vast journey said she
Not for the Chevalier my dear He is used to travel
Only for a visit—Is it not better Sir for you to stay here where everybody loves you
The General my dear and his Lady love the Chevalier
May be so But did you promise them Sir
I did madam
Why then you must perform your promise But it was not kind in them to engage you
Why so my dear asked her mother
Why so Why what will poor Jeronymo do for his friend
Jeronymo has confented my dear He thinks the journey will do the Chevalier good
Nay then—Will the journey do you good Sir If it will I am sure Jeronymo would not for the world detain you
Are you willing my dear that the Chevalier should go
Yes surely madam if it will do him good I would lay down my life to do him good Can we ever requite him for his goodness towards us
Grateful heart said her mother tears in her eyes
Gratitude piety sincerity and every duty of the social life are constitutional virtues in this Lady No disturbance of mind can weaken much less efface them
Shall you not want to see him in his absence
Perhaps I may But what then If it be for his good you know—
Suppose my dear we could obtain the favour of Mrs Beaumonts company while the Chevalier is gone
I should be glad
Mrs Beaumont is all goodness said I I will endeavour to engage her I can go by sea to Naples and then Florence will be in my way
Florence Ay and then you may see Olivia too you know
Olivia is not in Italy madam She is on her travels
Nay I am not against your seeing Olivia if it will do you good to see her
You dont love Olivia my dear said her mother
Why not much—But will you send Mrs Beaumont to keep me company
I hope madam I may be able to engage her
And how long shall you be gone
If I go by sea I shall return by the way of Rome And shall make my absence longer or shorter as I shall hear how my Jeronymo does or as he will or will not dispense with it
That is very good of you—But but—Suppose—a sweet blush overspread her face—I dont know what I would say—But for Jeronymos sake dont stay longer than will do you good No need of that you know
Sweet creature said the mother
Did you call me so madam wrapping her arms about her and hiding her faintlyblushing face in her bosom Then raising it up her arms still folded about her mother As long as I have my mamma with me I am happy Dont let me be sent away from you again my mamma I will do everything you bid me do I never was disobedient—Was I Fie upon me if I was
No never never my dearest Life
So I hoped For when I knew nothing this I used to say over my beads Gracious Father let me never forget my duty to thee and to my parents I was afraid I might as I remembered nothing—But that was partly owing to Laurana Poor Laurana She has now answered for it I would pray her out of her pains if I could Yet she did torment me
She has entertained a notion that Laurana is dead And as it has removed that terror which she used to have at her very name they intend not to undeceive her But Dr Bartlett well or ill did you ever know a more excellent creature
Well Sir and so you must go—She quitted her mother and with a dignity like that which used to distinguish her she turned to me and gracefully waveing one hand while she held up the other—God preserve you whereever you go You must go from friend to friend were it all the world over You will
let Jeronymo hear often from you—Wont you—Pray do And I will in every visit I make to him enquire when he heard from his friend Adieu Sir Adieu
I had not intended then to take my leave of her but as she anticipated me I thought it right to do so and respectively bowing on her hand withdrew followed by her eyes and her blessings
I went to Jeronymo The Marchioness came to me there and was of opinion with me that I should take this as a farewel visit to her Clementina and tomorrow sooner by two days than I intended I propose to set out for Florence in hopes to engage for them Mrs Beaumonts company of which they are all extremely desirous
I took my leave of the whole family and Mr Lowther who will write to me at all opportunities And perhaps you will not for some weeks hear further from
Your everoffectionate CHARLES GRANDISON
Thursday May 11
I Write on purpose to acquaint you that I have had a visit from Lady Olivia She dined with me and is just set out for Northampton We all joined in the most cordial manner to entreat her to favour us with her company till morning But she was not to be prevailed upon Every one of us equally admires and pities her Indeed she is a finer woman than you Lady G would allow her to be in the debate between us in town on that subject
After dinner she desired a quarter of an hours discourse with me alone We retired into the cedar parlour
She opened as she said her whole heart to me What an hatred has she to the noble Lady Clementina She sometimes frighted me by her threatnings—Poor unwomanly Lady
I took the liberty to blame her I told her she must excuse me it was ever my way with those I respected
She would fain have got me to own that I loved Sir Charles Grandison I acknowledged gratitude and esteem—But as there are no prospects hopes I had like to have said I would go no further But she was sure it was so I did say and I am in earnest that I never could be satisfied with a divided heart She clasped me in her arms upon this and put her cheek to my forehead
She told me that she admired him for his virtue She knew he had resisted the greatest temptations that ever man was tried with I hope poor woman that none of them were from her—For her own sake notwithstanding what Dr Bartlett once whispered and good man as he is I hope so—The Chevalier she said was superior to all attempts that were not grounded on honour and conscience She had heard of women who had spread their snares for him in his early youth But women in her country of slight fame she said had no way to come at him And women of virtue were secure from his attempts Yet would you not have thought asked she that beauty might have marked him for its own? Such an air such an address so much personal bravery accustomed to shine in the upper life all that a woman can value in a man is the Chevalier Grandison
She at last declared that she wished him to be mine rather than any womans on earth
I was very frank very unreserved She seemed delighted with me and w•nt away professing to every one as well as to me that she admired me for my behaviour my sincerity my prudence she was
pleased to say and my artlessness above all the women she had ever conversed with
May her future conduct be such as may do credit to her birth to her high fortune to her sex and I shall then forgive her for an attempt as it was frustrated that I thought she ought never to be forgiven for and which made me as we sat often look upon her with terror and deprecation may I say
In answer to your kind enquiries about my health—I only say What must be will—Sometimes better than at others If I could hear you were good I should be better I believe Adieu my dear Lady G Adieu
Or Sir Charless first Letter from Bologna Vol IV Letter XL p 277
Wednesday May 31
I Am greatly obliged to you my dear Lady G for dispatching to me in so extraordinary a way the first Letter of your brother to Dr Bartlett I thank God for his safe arrival at the destined place and for the faint hopes given in it of his friends life The Almighty will do his own work and in his own way And that must be best
You ask me for my opinion of the contents of this Letter at large—What can I say—Thus much I must say—
I admire more and more your brother I pity the family he is gone to comfort and relieve And I pray for Clementina and Jeronymo and this as well for your brothers sake as theirs
He generously rejoices that he did not pursue his own INCLINATIONS—I am very happy in what he says of your Harriet Indeed my dear I am Tho we may be conscious of not deserving the praises bestowed upon us yet are we fond of standing high in the opinion of those we love Two paragraphs I have got by heart I need not tell you which they are But alas his greatly favoured friend is not so free as he hoped she was It is a pleasure to me however because it is such to him that it is not his fault but her own that she is not
The Countess whom he so justly praises writes to me and I answer—But to what purpose I am afraid that a very important observation of his comes not in time to do me service since if my prudence is proportiond to my trials I ought to have endeavourd to exert it sooner
But it seems there is an insuperable objection against the poor Ladys going into a Nunnery I never heard of that before It seems right to the Marchioness that the young Lady who is intituled to a great share of this worlds goods should not be dedicated to heaven This may be so in the family eye for aught I know But I am persuaded that if there is any one of it who would not have pleaded this obstacle to a divine dedication it would be Clementina herself And yet I own I can allow of their regret that the cruel Laurana should be a gainer by Clementinas being lost as I may say to the world
Your brothers kind remembrance of Mr and Mrs Reeves is an honour done to me as well as to them I must take it so Lady G And what he says of me in the paragraph in which he mentions Emily adds to the pride he had raised in me before
Dr Bartlett is extremely obliging in not offering to with hold any passage in your brothers Letters from us I have let him know that I think him so and have begged him not to spare any-thing out of tenderness
to me on a supposition that I may be affected or made uneasy by what your brother shall write to him This is speaking very plainly my dear But it is to Dr Battlett and he signified to us more than once that he could not be a stranger to the heart of your Harriet
And now my dear Lady G let me ask you in my turn What you think of one passage in your brothers Letter of which you have not taken the least notice in yours to me
Charlotte I hope is happy if she be not it must be her own fault
You have honestly owned in your last yet too roguishly for a true penitent that it was evidently so in the debate about being presented Miss Grandison used to like the drawingroom well enough Her brother has owned in my hearing as well as in yours that had he not been so long out of England and since his return to it so seldom in town he would have made it a part of his duty to pay his attendance there at proper times But Lady G forsooth disdained to appear as the property Reflect but my dear how absurd of a worthy man to whom she had vowed love honour and obedience
I should not remind you thus of past flippancies did not new ones seem to spring up every day
For heavens sake my dear Lady G let it not be carried from England to Italy that Lord G is not so happy with a sister of Sir Charles Grandison as might be expected left it be asked Whether that sister and this brother had the same mother I have written before all that I could possibly say on this subject You know yourself to be wrong It would be impertinence to expostulate further on a duty so known and acknowleged No more therefore on this head authorize me to say for ever
As to my health—I would fain be well I am more sorry that I am not for the sake of my friends who are incessantly grieving for me than for my own I
have not I think I have not any-thing to reproach myself with nor yet anybody to reproach me To whom have I given cause of triumph over me by my ill usage or insolence to him I yield to an event to which I ought to submit And to a woman not less but more worthy than myself and who has a prior claim
I long to hear of the meeting of this noble pair May it be propitious May Sir Charles Grandison have the satisfaction and the merit with the family of being the means of restoring to reason a greater restoration than to health the woman every faculty of whose soul ought in that case to be devoted to GOD and to him Methinks I have at present but one wish it is that I may live to see this Lady if she is to be the happy woman Could I do you think Lady G if I were to have this honour cordially congratulate her as Lady Grandison Heaven only knows But it would be my glory if I could for then I should not scruple to put myself in a rank with Clementina and to demand her hand as that of my sister
But poor Olivia—Shall I not pity the unhappy woman who I am afraid is too shortsighted to look forward to that only consolation which can weaken the force of worldly disappointments
My cousin Reeves in a joyful Letter just now received acquaints me with the birth of the fine boy his wife has presented to him An event that exceedingly rejoices us all He tells me in it how good you are Continue to them my dear Lady G your affectionate regards They ever loved you Even for your very faults so bewitchingly lively are you But I have told Mr Reeves that his partiality for you shews that he feels not for Lord G as he would for himself were his wife a Lady G
I will write to my other friends Dear creature Dont let me say that I love Lord G better than I do Lady G Yet were the aggressor in a quarrel my own sister endeared to me by a thousand generous
offices I would I must love the sufferer best at least while he is a sufferer Witness
HARRIET BYRON
Thursday June 1
THanks an hundred times repeated to you my dear Lady G and to good Dr Bartlett for the favour of Sir Charless Letters of May 22 23 26 and 27 N S all following so quick that which you favourd me with of the 10th21st upon which I wrote to you yesterday I dispatch them to you for the Doctor all together
I cannot my dear have much to say to the contents of these
The have met Had more interviews than one
Why cannot the Count of Belvedere—But no more of that I dont like this General The whole family the two noble sufferers Jeronymo and Clementina excepted seem to me to have more pride than gratitude—Ay mother and all my dear
But you see Sir Charles has been indisposed No wonder Visited by the Marquis and Marchioness you see Not a slight illness therefore you may believe God preserve him and restore Lady Clementina and the worthy Jeronymo
His kind remembrance of me—But my dear I think the Doctor and you must forbear obliging me with any more of his Letters—His goodness his tenderness his delicacy his strict honour but adds—Yet can any new instances add to a character so uniformly good—But the chief reason of my selfdenial if you were to take me at my word as to these communications is that his affecting descriptions and narratives
of Lady Clementinas resveries poor poor Lady will break my heart Yet you must send them to
Your ever obliged HARRIET BYRON
Monday June 5
My dear Creature
YOU must not you shall not be ill What signify your Heroics child if they only give you placid looks and make an hypocrite of the sincerest girl in England In other words, if they are only a cover for a despairing heart Be better Be less affected or I can tell you the Doctor and I and Lady L shall all think it but s••ght to take you at your first word and send you no more of my brothers Letters Yet we are all of us as greatly affected by the contents of them as our dear Harriet can be I am sure you will allow us to be so for the poor Lady But to subjects less interesting
The Doctor is with us Aunt Nell is in love with him He ordered his matters and came to town at Lady Ls request and mine and Beauchamps that we might the sooner come at my brothers Letters—Very obliging—Beauchamp worships the good man He would have been with him at Grandison Hall but that Sir Harry and Lady Beauchamp knew not how to part with him And I fancy another flier reason withheld him half unknown to himself Love is certainly creeping into his heart This Emily a little rogue has already yet suspects it not made a conquest He deserves her better than any man I know She him had she not already a great hole in her heart thro which one may run ones head But does not Beauchamp love the same person as much
as she can do And does he not know that the girl is innocent and the man virtuous even as I believe to chastity—Dear Harriet Dont let the Ladies around you nor the Gentlemen neither hear this grace supposed to be my brothers Nobody about us shall for me I would not have my brother made the jest of one Sex and the aversion of the other and be thought so singular a young man
Beauchamp says nothing to anybody of his regard to Emily But he lays himself out in so many unaffected assiduities to her that one cannot but see it She likes his company and his conversation But why because he is always launching out in the praises of his and her beloved friend He says there is not he believes such another innocent and undesigning heart in the world except one in Northamptonshire—Theres for you Harriet—So he praises not mine That is the wickedest thing of these felons of men Poverty compels them tho—Poverty of genius—They cannot praise one woman but by robbing the rest Different however from all men is my brother I will engage he could find attributes for fifty different women yet do justice to them all Because tho he sees every one with favour he is above flattering any
Well but Harriet I expected Letters six times as long as these you sent me Upon my word if you are so very heavenlyminded as you appear to be in the first for the second is hardly a Letter I will have you to town and nun you up with aunt Nell The Doctor is one of the most pious men in England But she will tire him with praying and expounding as she calls it Do you know that the good creature was a Methodist in Yorkshire These overdoers my dear are wicked wretches What do they but make religion look unlovely and put underdoers out of heart My brother is The man You know I must always bring in my brother tho I am
a little out of humour with him at present And am I not justified by the many Since it is always the way of those who intend not to mend to set their hearts against their correctors—My brother professes not the one half of what he practises He uses the fashion without abusing it or himself by following it Some such words in a sacred book rumble in my mad head but I know I have not them right
It is impossible say what you will Harriet to be long upon terms with this man—Lord G I mean He was once half in the right to be sure but you should not have reproached me with that The bride was shewn the jewels were shewn the whole family paraded it together and Emily wrote you all howandabout it But never fear for your poor friend The honest man will put himself in the wrong next to save her credit He has been long careless and now he is at times imperious as well as careless Very true Nay it was but yesterday that he attempted to hum a tune of contempt upon my warbling an Italian air An opera couple we Is it not charming to sing at I cannot say to each other when we have a mind to be spiteful But he has a miserable voice He cannot sing so fine a song as I can He should not attempt it Besides I can play to my song that cannot be Such a foe to melody that he hates the very fight of my harpsichord He flies out of the room if I but move towards it
He has everybody of his side Lord and Lady L Emily nay Dr Bartlett and aunt Nell This sets him up No such thing as managing ones own husband when so many wise heads join together to uphold him Utterly ruined for a husband is Lord G I once bad some hopes of him But now every goodnaturd jest is turned into earnest by these mediators and mediatrices
A few days ago in a fond fit I would have stroked his cheek tho he was not in a very good humour
neither—So then So then said I as I had seen Beauchamp do an hour before by his prancing nag and it was construed as a contempt and his bristles got up upon it Bless me thought I this man is not so sensible of a favour as Beauchamps horse and yet I have known the time when he has thought it an honour to be admitted to press the same fair hand with his lips on one knee
Hark He is now at this very instant complaining to aunt Nell Little do they think that I am in her closet She hears all he has to say with greedy ears—These antiquated souls are happy when they can find reasons from the disagreement of honest people in matrimony to make a virtue of necossity
Thank the Lord I am not married if these be the fruits of matrimony
—Ah Lord my dear Now these last words have slipt me—The man—between you and me has been a villain to me Can I forgive him could you in my circumstances Yet I hope it is not so If it should and Lady Gertrude and aunt Nell spiteful old souls should find their perpetual curiosity answered as they wish I will have my own will in everything
And how came I you will wonder in aunt Nells closet I will tell you She had got my pen and ink And I went to fetch it myself The scribbling fit was strong upon me so I sat down in her closet to write And they both came into her chamber together to have their own talk—Hark I say—They are really talking of me—Complaining—Abominable—This wicked aunt of mine
I tell you nephew that you are too ready to make up with her
—Could you have believed this of ones own aunt No wonder that he is so refractory at times But hush—Why dont he speak louder He cant be in earnest hurt if he does not raise his voice Creeping soul and whiner—I cant hear a word he says I have enough against her—But I want something against him—
Duce take them both I cant hear more than the sound of her brokentoothed voice mumbling and his plaintive humdrum whimpering I will go out in full majesty I will lighten upon them with airs imperial How the poor souls will start at my appearance How will their consciences fly in their faces The complainer and adviser both detected in the very fact as I may say And yet perhaps you Harriet will think them less blameable than their consciencestriker
Hem—Three hems in anger—And now I burst upon them
O HARRIET what a triumph was mine
Aunt Neil who has naturally a good blowzing northcountry complexion turned as pale as ashes Her chin nose and lips were all in motion My nimble Lord gave a jump and three leaps to the other side of the room He had not the courage to look directly at me His face as sharp as a new moon in a frosty night and his sides so gaunt—As if he wanted to shrink into himself They could not in their hearts but accuse themselves of all they had said as if I had heard every word of it
While I what a charming thing is innocence half a foot tailer than usual stalked along between them casting a look of indignation upon aunt Nell of haughtiness on Lord G My withheld breath raised my complexion and swelled my features and when I got to the door I pulled it after me with an air that I hope made them both tremble
WELL my dear—Aunt Nell and I have made up I have been pacified by her apologies and promises never again to interfere between man and
wife As I told the forlorn soul You maiden Ladies tho you have lived a great while in the world cannot know what strange creatures these husbands are and how many causes that cannot be mentioned by the poor wife to her friends a woman may have to be displeased with her man in order to keep the creature in some little decorum—Indeed madam—There I stop—This excited her prudery and she made out the rest and perhaps a great deal more than the rest She looked down to shew she was sensible tried for a blush and I verily believe had she been a young woman would have succeeded
Why truly niece I believe you are right These men are odious creatures
—And then she shuddered as if she had said Lord defend me from them—a prayer that being a good creature she need not doubt will be answered
But for Lord G there lies no forgiveness To complain of his wife to her aunt A married man to submit matrimonial squabbles and every honest pair has some to others to an old maid especially and to authorize her to fit in judgment on his wifes little whimsies when the good woman wants to make herself important to him and thereby endeavour to destroy the wifes significance theres no bearing of that He had made Lord L and Lady L judges over me before Nay this infant Emily has taken her seat on the same bench and in her pretty manner has by beseeching me to be good supposed me bad And to some one of them who knows but to the telltale himself tho he denies it my brothers hint is owing on which you so sagely expostulate My reputation therefore as an obedient wife with all those whose good opinion was worth courting is gone And is not this enough to make one careless
BLESS me my dear This man of errors has committed if possible a still worse fault He regards me not as anybody The Earl and he have been long
uneasy it seems that we live at the expence of my brother to whom there is no making returns and a house offering in Grosvenorsquare he has actually contracted for it without consulting me I must own that I cannot in my heart disapprove either of the motive or the house as I have the latter described to me But his doing it of his own head is an insolent act of prerogative Dont you in conscience think so Does he not by this step make me his chattles a piece of furniture only to be removed as any other piece of furniture or picture or cabinet at his pleasure
He came to me—I hope madam in a reproaching accent I have done something now that will please you Ought his stiff air and the reflecting word NOW to have gone unpunishd Hast thou found out any other old maid to fit in judgment on the behaviour of thy wife But what hast thou done—I was astonished when the man told me
And who is to be thy housekeeper Is this done in hope Ill follow thee Or dost thou intend to exclude from thy habitation the poor woman who met thee at church a few weeks ago
Just then came in Lady L I asked her what she thought of this step
Had she vindicated him I never would have regarded a word she said between us But she owned that she thought I should have been consulted And then he began to see that he had done a wrong thing I acquainted her with his former sault unatoned for as it was—Why as to that she did not know what to say only that it became my character and good sense so to behave as that Lord G should have no reason to complain of me to anybody A hard thing Harriet to be reflected upon by an own sister
LADY L prevailed upon me unknown to Lord G to go with her to see this house Tis a handsome
house I have but the one aforesaid objection to it—But let me ask you again Is not the slight he has put upon me in taking it without consulting me an inexcusable thing —I know you will say it is But Ill tell you how I think to do—I will make him give up the contract and when he has done so unknown to him take the same house myself This will be returning the compliment His excuse is He was sure I should like the house and the terms If he is sure of my liking it and has chosen it himself the duce is in it if I may not be sure of his—Would he dislike it because I liked it—Say so if you dare Harriet and suppose me blameable
O my dear What shall I do with this passionate man I could not you know forgive him for the two unatonedfor steps which he had taken without some contrition And do you think he would shew any—Not he—I said something that set him up something bordering upon the whimsical—No matter what He pranced upon it I with my usual meekness calmly rebuked him and then went to my harpsichord And what do you think How shall I tell it Yet to you I may—Why then he whisked his hat from under his arm he was going out and silenced broke demolished my poor harpsichord
I was surprized But instantly recovering myself You are a violent wretch Lord G said I quite calmly How could you do so—Suppose and I took the wicked hat I should throw it into the fire But I gave it to him and made him a fine courtesy There was command of temper I thought at the instant of Epictetus and his snapt leg Was I not as great a Philosopher
HE is gone out Dinner is ready and no Lord G Aunt Nell is upon the fret But she remembers
her late act of delinquency so is obliged to be silent I have her under my thumb
THE man came in after we had dined I went to him as if nothing had been the matter between us You look vexed my Lord—It was a very violent action It vexed me at first But you see how soon I recovered my temper I wish you would learn patience of me But come I forgive you I will not be angry with you for an evil that a little money will repair I see you are vexed
So I am madam at my very soul But it is not—
Now to be helped—True my Lord and I forgive you—
But curse me if I forgive you madam—
O fie thats wickedly said But I know you will when I ask you
Aunt Nell sat by the window her eyes half shut her mouth as firmly closed as if her lips were glewed together
Madam addressing himself to her I shall set out tomorrow for Windsor
Windsor my Lord said I—He answered me not
Ask my good Lord G madam said I in a sweet humble voice how long he shall stay at Windsor
How long my Lord mumbled out aunt Nell—
From Windsor I shall go to Oxford
Ask him madam how long he shall be before he returns
How long my Lord shall you be absent from us
When I find I can return and not be the jest of my own wife—I may perhaps—There he stopt and looked stately
Tell my Lord that he is too serious madam Tell him that hardly any other man but would see I was at play with him and would play again
You hear what my niece says my Lord
I regard nothing she says
Ask him madam who is to be of his party
Who my Lord is to be of your party
Nobody turning himself half round that he might not be thought to answer me but her
Ask him madam whether it be business or pleasure that engages him to take this solitary tour
She looked the question to him
Neither madam to her I left my pleasure some weeks ago at St Georges Church I have never found it since
A strange forgetful man and as ungrateful as forgetful And I stept to him and looked in his face so courteously and with such a sweet smile
He sullenly turned from me and to aunt Nell
Ask my Lord If he takes this journey thinking to oblige me
Ask him your own questions niece
My Lord wont answer me
He strutted and bit his lip with vexation
Come Ill try once more if you think me worth answering—I think my Lord if you shall be gone a month or two I may take a little trip to Northamptonshire Emily shall go with me The girl is very uneasy to see Miss Byron And Miss Byron will rejoice to see us both a visit from us will do her good
He took it that I was not desirous of a short absence And he pouched his mouth and reared himself up and swelled but answered me not
See madam my Lord is sullen he wont answer me I must get you to ask my questions I think it my duty to ask leave to go My Lord may go where he pleases without my leave—Very fit he should He is a man I once could have done so highho but I have vowed obedience and vassalage I will not break my vow Ask him If I have his consent for a visit to Miss Byron of a month or two Ask him madam If he can make himself happy in my absence I should otherwise be loth to go for so long a time
I should be as welcome said he to Miss Byron as her—
As her As she you should say I believe if you wont say As you madam and bow to me—I believe so my Lord Miss Byron would rejoice to see any of my friends Miss Byron is very good
Would to God—
That somebody were half as good interrupted I Somebody understands you my Lord and wishes so too—Pray madam ask my Lord If I may go—His new house will be putting in order mean time—
I will ask none of your questions for you—New house niece You harp too much on one string
I mean not offence I have done with that subject My Lord to be sure has dominion over his bird He can choose her cage She has nothing to do but sit and sing in it—when her instrument is mended and in tune—He has but one fault He is too goodnatured to his bird But would he take your advice madam—
Now tho this may sound to you Harriet a little recriminating yet I do assure you I spoke it in a very sweet accent Yet up got aunt Nell in a passion My Lord too was all alive I put myself between her and the door and throwing my arms about her You shant go madam—Smiling sweetly in her glowing face Upon my honour you shant
Wicked trifler She called me as I led her to a chair Perverse girl and two or three other names—apropos enough My character is not difficult to hit thats the beauty of it
My Lord withdrew in wrath and then the old Lady said she would now tell me a piece of her mind And she made me sit down by her and thus she addressed me
Niece it is my opinion that you might be if you would one of the happiest women in the world
You dont hear me complain madam
Well if Lord G did complain to me it was to me And you should be sorry for the occasion and not for the complaint
I may be sorry for both madam
Well but Lord G is one of the bestnatured men in the world—
The mans well enough Passionate men they say are goodnatured
Why wont you be happy niece
I will I am not now unhappy
More shame for you then that you will not make Lord G happy
He is captious I am playful Thats all
What do you think your brother would say—
He would blame me as you do
Dear creature be good Dear creature make Lord G happy
I am like a builder madam I am digging for a foundation There is a good deal of rubbishy humours to remove a little swampiness of soil And I am only removing it and digging deeper to make my foundation sure
Take care take care niece You may dig too deep There may be springs You may open and never be able to stop them till they have sapped your foundation Take care niece
Thank you madam for your caution Pity you had not been a builder yourself
Had such a fellowlabourer as Lord G offered I should not have refused a partnership with him I do assure you
Fairly answered aunt Nell thought I I was pleased with her
Dont you think Lord G loves you dearly
As to dearly I cant say But I believe he loves me as well as most husbands love their wives
Are you not ungrateful then
No I am only at play with him I dont hate him
Hate him Dreadful if you did But he thinks you despise him
That is one of the rubbishy notions I want to remove He would have it that I did when he could have helped himself But he injures me now if he thinks so I cant say I have a very profound reverence for him He and my brother should not have been allied But had I despised him in my heart I should have thought myself a very bad creature for going to church with him
Thats well said I love you now Your brother is indeed enough to put all other men down with one But may I tell Lord G that you love him
No madam
No I am sorry for that
Let him find it out But he ought to know so much of human nature and of my sincerity as to gather from my behaviour to him that had I either hated or despised him I would not have been his and it would have been impossible for me to be so playful with him to be so domestic and he so much at home with me Am I fond of seeking occasions to carry myself from him What delights what diversions what public entertainments do I hunt after—None Is not he are not all my friends sure of finding me at home whenever they visit me
So far so good said aunt Eleanor
I will open my heart to you madam You are my fathers sister You have a right to my sincerity But you must keep my secret
Proceed my dear
I know my own heart madam If I thought I could not trust it and I wish Lord G had a good opinion of it I would not dance thus as you suppose on the edge of danger
Good creature—I shall call you good creature byandby Let me call Lord G to us
I was silent I contradicted her not She rang
She bid the servant tell Lord G that she desired his company Lord G was pranced out She regretted I was not glad that he was
I will tell you what my dear said she I have heard it suggested by a friend of yours that you would much rather have had Mr Beauchamp—
Not a word more of such a suggestion madam I should hate myself were I capable of treating Lord G meanly or contemptibly with a thought of preference to any man breathing now I am his I have a great opinion of Mr Beauchamp He deserves it But I never had the shadow of a wish that I had been his I never should have spoken of my brothers excellencies as outshining those of Lord G had he not been my brother and therefore could not be more to me and had they not been so conspicuous that no other man could be disgraced by giving place to him No madam let me assure you once for all that I am so far from despising my Lord G that were any misfortune to befal him I should be a miserable woman
She embraced me Why then—
I know your inference madam It is a just one I am afraid I think as well of my own understanding as I do of Lord Gs I love to jest to play to make him look about him I dislike not even his petulance You see I bear all the flings and throws and peevishness which he returns to my sauciness I think I ought His complaints of me to you to Lord and Lady L which bring upon me their and your grave lecturings and even anger I can forgive him for and this I shew by making those complaints matter of pleasantry rather than resentment I know he intended well in taking the house tho he consulted me not first It was surely wrong in him yet I am not mortally offended with him for it His violence to my poor harpsichord startled me but I recollected myself and had he buffetted me instead of that as I was afraid he would
I should have thought I ought to have borne it whether I could or not and to have returned him his hat with a courtesy Believe me madam I am not a bad I am only a whimsical creature I tried my brother once I set him up I was afraid of him indeed But I tried him again Then he called it constitution and laughed at me and run me out of breath in my own way So I let him alone Lord L Lady L had it in turn Lord G has a little more than his turn perhaps And why because he is for ever fitting the cap to his head and because I dont love him less than those I am less free with Come madam let me demand your kind thoughts I will deserve them Contradiction and opposition mediators and mediatrices have carried my playfulness further than it would otherwise have gone But henceforth your precepts my brothers and Miss Byrons shall not want their weight with me whether I may shew it or not at this Instant My reign I am afraid will be but short Let the man bear with me a little nowandthen I am not absolutely ungenerous If he can but shew his love by his forbearance I will endeavour to reward his forbearance with my love
She embraced me and said That now she attributed to the gaiety of my spirits and not to perverseness my tillnow unaccountable behaviour I was sure said she that you were more your mothers than your fathers daughter Let me when my Lord comes in see an instance of the behaviour you bid me hope for
I will try said I what can be done—We parted I went up to my pen and scribbled down to this place
This moment my Lord is come in Into my brothers study is he directly gone Not a question asked about me Sullen I warrant He used to pay his duty to me and ask blessing the moment he came in if admissible Is that a word Harriet But times are altered Ah Harriet when I know I am saucy I
can bear negligence and slight But when I intend to be good knowing my own heart to be right I shall be quite saucy if he is sullen Is not the duty of wedded people reciprocal—Aunt Eleanor and he are talking together She is endeavouring I suppose to make a Philosopher of him
Promise nothing for me aunt Nell I will have the whole merit of my own reformation
PRepare Harriet to hear strange and wonderful things
My Lord sent up his compliments and desired to know if he might attend me I was in my dressingroom He was not always so polite I wish thought I since displeasure produces respect that familiarity does not spoil this man But Ill try him
I shall be glad to see my Lord was the answer I returned
Up he came one leg draggd after the other Not alert as he used to be on admission to his Charlotte The last eight stairs his steps founded I go up with an heavy heart He entered bowed Were the words yours You should be glad to see me madam
They were my Lord
Would to God you said truth
I did I am glad to see you I wanted to talk with you—About this Northamptonshire visit
Are you in earnest madam to make that visit
I am Miss Byron is not well Emily pines to see her as much as I You have no objection
He was silent
Do you set out tomorrow Sir for Windsor and Oxford
He sighed I think so madam
Shall you visit Lord W
I shall
And complain to him of me my Lord—He shook his grave head as if there were wisdom in it—Be quiet Harriet—Not good all at once—That would not be to hold it
No madam I have done complaining to anybody You will one day see you have not acted generously by the man who loves you as his own soul
This and his eyes glistening moved me—Have we not been both wrong my Lord
Perhaps we have madam But here is the difference—I have been wrong with a right intention You have been wrong and studied to be so
Prettily said—Repeat it my Lord—How was it And I took his hand and looked very graciously
I cannot bear these airs of contempt
If you call them so you are wrong my Lord tho perhaps intending to be right
He did not see how good I was disposed to be As I said a change all at once would have been unnatural
Very well madam and turned from me with an air halfgrieved halfangry
Only answer me my Lord are you willing I should go to Northamptonshire
If you choose to go I have no objection Miss Byron is an angel
Now dont be perverse Lord G Dont praise Miss Byron at the expence of somebody else
Would to heaven madam—
I wish so too—And I put my hand before his mouth—So kindly
He held it there with both his and kissed it I was not offended But do you actually set out for Windsor and Oxford tomorrow my Lord
Not madam if you have any commands for me
Why now thats well said Has your Lordship any-thing to propose to me
I could not be so welcome as your escorte as I am sure I should be to Miss Byron and her friends as her guest
You could not How can you say so my Lord You would do me both honour and pleasure
What would I give that you mean what you say
I do mean it my Lord—My hand upon it—I held out my hand for his He snatched it and I thought would have devoured it
We will take the coach my Lord that I may have your company all the way
You equally astonish and delight me madam Is it possible that you are—
Yes yes dont in policy make it such a wonder that I am disposed to be what I ought to be
I shall be too too too happy sobbed the man
No no Ill take care of that Married folks brought up differently of different humours inclinations and soforth never can be too happy Now I intend to put up all our little quarrels in my workbag You know I am a worker Not quite so bad at worst as some modern wives There they shall lie till we get to Miss Byrons—I revere the character of Mrs Shirley my Harriets grandmother Mrs Selby you have seen Harriet and you and I and the two sages I have named will get together in some happy hour Then I will open my workbag and take out our quarrels one by one and lay them on the table before us and we will be determined by their judgments
My dear Lady G if you think there is any-thing amiss in your behaviour to me or in mine to you let us spread the faults on your toilette now and we shall go down to Northamptonshire all love and harmony and delight those excellent—
Always prescribing my Lord—O these men—Why will you not let me have my own way—Have not all these good folks heard of our folly And shall
they not be witnesses of our wisdom If they are not at the agreement they will wonder how it came about—I tell you Sir that they shall have an opportunity to laugh at us both at me for my flippancy at you for your petulance I will be sorry you shall be ashamed that quarrels so easily made up and where the heart of either is not bad should subsist a quarter of an hour and be perpetually renewing I will have my own way I tell you
Dont make me look like a fool madam before such Ladies as those if we do visit them
I must have my jest my Lord You know for have you not tryd it that I can have patience—Let me see—Is that the hat that you pulled off with an air so lately—Pish How your countenance falls I am not angry with you But dont do so again if you can help it—I must have my jest I say But assure yourself of the first place in my heart—What more would the man have
O madam nothing nothing more And he kissed my hand on one knee with a rapture that he never could have known had we always been quiet easy and drowsy like some married folks whom the world calls happy
But then the man came out with his gewgaw japanchina taste Why why is it the privilege of people of quality now to be educated in such a way that their time can hardly ever be worthily filled up and as if it were a disgrace to be either manly or useful He began to talk of equipage and such nonsense but I cut him short by telling him that I must have my whole way on this occasion—Our visit is to be a private one said I We will have only the coach Jenny shall attend on Emily and me No other female servant Two men We will have no more I will not have so much as your Frenchhorn We go to the land of harmony Kings sometimes travel incog We will ape kings when they put off royalty
Will not this thought gratify your pride—You my Lord have some foibles to be cured of as well as I—We shall be wonderfully amended both of us by this excursion
Poor man His heart was as light as a feather Upon my word my dear I begin to think that if my Lord and master had been a wise man I should not have known what to do with him Yet I will not forgive any one but myself who finds him out to be otherwise
He told me in raptures of joy that I should direct everything as I pleased God grant that I might not change my mind as to the visit He hoped I was in earnest and looked nowandthen at me as if he questioned it
But what do you think the man did He retired came back presently called me his dearest life and said That it was possible I might want to have an opportunity given me to make some presents or to furnish myself with trinkets of one nature or other against I set out and he should be very sorry if by his inattention I were obliged to ask him for the means to shew the natural liberality of my spirit in the way I thought best to exert it and then he begged me to accept of that note putting into my hand a bank note of 500 l
I stept to my closet and as instantly returned This my Lord said I is a most cruel reflexion upon me It looks as if I were to be bribed to do my duty—There my Lord Take back your present I will endeavour to be good without it—And as a proof that I will you must not only receive back your favour tho I look upon it as such and from my heart thank you for it but take as your right this note which Lord W presented to me on the day you received me as yours
He held back both hands gratefully reluctant
You must you shall take both notes my Lord I
only wanted a fit opportunity to put Lord Ws note into your hands before It was owing to my flippant folly and not to your want of affection that I had not that opportunity sooner Bear with me nowandthen if I should be silly again Complain of me only to myself My heart I reassure you is yours and yours only I was not willing that you should owe to any other persons interposition my declarations of affection and regard to you not even to Miss Byron tho I talked of my workbag whom I love as my own sister
The worthy man was in ecstacies He could not express in words the joy of his heart He kneeled and wrapt his arms about my waist and sobbed his request to me to forgive his petulance and the offences he had ever given me by any acts of passion or words of anger
You have not offended me my Lord Forgive my past follies and my future failures When you were most angry I wondered at your patience Had I been you I should not have borne what you bore with me
For Gods sake madam take back both notes We can have but one interest You will make me easier when I know that you have power in your hands to gratify every wish of your heart
You must you shall my Lord take these notes I will apply to you whenever I have occasion and receive your favours as such I wish not to be independent of you I have a handsome sum by me the moiety of the money that was my mothers which my brother divided between my sister and me when he first came over Is not the settlement made upon me more than my brother asked or thought I should expect Did he not oppose so large an annuity for pinmoney as your father Lady Gertrude and you would have me accept of because he thought that such a large allowance might make a wife independent of her husband and put it out of his power with discretion
to oblige her My brother in an instance glorious to him said That he would not be a richer man than he ought to be In such instances I will be his sister
Aunt Nell joined us My Lord in transports told her what had passed The good old soul took the merit of the reformation to herself She wept over us She rejoiced to hear of our intended journey to Northamptonshire My Lord proposed to have the house he had taken fitted up to my liking while we were away At his desire I promised to see it in his company and give my opinion of his designed alterations But as I know he has judgment in nickknackatories and even as much as I wish him in what is called taste I intend to compliment him with leaving all to him and resolve to be satisfied with whatever he does
And now is the good man so busy so pleased so important Bless me my dear Who would rob the honest man of any part of his merit or even divide it with him
And what Harriet do you say to me now—In a weeks time I shall be with you Be sure be chearful and well or I shall be ready to question my welcome
This moment having let Dr Bartlett into our intended visit he has offered to accompany us Now shall we I know be doubly welcome The Doctor Emily my Lord G and your Charlotte will be happy in one coach The Doctor is prodigiously pleased with me What is the text More joy in heaven over one sinner that repenteth than over ninetyandnine just persons who need it not
I long to see you and every one of the family so deservedly dear to you God give you health and us no worse news from Italy than we have yet had and how happy shall we be—Lord and Lady L wish they could be of the party They are in love with me now Emily says she dotes upon me I begin
to think that there is almost as much pleasure in being good as in teazing Yet a little roguery rises nowandthen in the heart of
Your CHARLOTTE G
June 8
The Doctor has been so good I believe because I am good as to allow me to take a copy of a Letter of my brothers to that wretch Everard but for your perusal only I inclose it therefore under that restriction Let it speak its own praises
We are actually preparing to be your guests You will only have time to forbid us if we shall not be welcome
Merciful what a pacquet
Bologna June 4 N S
WHAT can I do for my cousin Why would he oppress me with so circumstantial an account of the heavy evil that has befallen him and not point out a way by which I could comfort or relieve him Dont be afraid of what you call the severity of my virtue I should be ready to question the rectitude of my own heart if on examination I had not reason to hope that charity is the principal of those virtues which you attribute to me You recriminate enough upon yourself In what way I can extricate or assist you is now my only question
You ask my advice in relation to the payment of the debts which the world call debts of honour and for which you have asked and are granted three months time Have you not Sir strengthened your engagement by your request And have not they intitled themselves to the performance by their compliance with it
The obligation which rashness and perhaps surprize laid you under your deliberation has confirmed
You say that your new creditors are men of the town sharpers and gamesters But my cousin how came you among such They came not to you I say not this to upbraid you But I must not have you deceive yourself Who but a mans self is to suffer by his rashness or inconsideration They are reputed to have been possessed of fortunes however they came by them which would have enabled them to answer the stakes they played for had they been the losers And would you not have exacted payment from them had you been the winner Did you at the time suspect loaded dice or foul play You are not Sir a novice in the ways of the town If you had good proof of what from the ill success you seem only to suspect I should not account the debts incurred debts of honour and should hardly scruple had I not indirectly promised payment by asking time for it or had they refused to give it to call in to my aid the laws of my country and the rather as the appeal to those laws would be a security to me against ever again being seen in such company
Adversity is the trial of principle Without it a man hardly knows whether he is an honest man Two things my cousin in his present difficulties must guard against the one that he do not suffer himself to be prevailed upon in hopes to retrieve his losses to frequent the tables by which he has suffered and so become one of the very men he has so much reason to wish he had avoided Who would not rather be the sufferer than the defrauder What must be the nature of that man who having himself been ruined will endeavour to draw in other innocent men to their ruin
The other that he do not permit prior and worthier creditors creditors from valuable considerations to suffer by the distresses in which he has involved himself
It is a hard decision But were I my cousin I would divest myself of my whole estate were it necessary for the satisfaction of my creditors and leave it to their generosity to allow me what pittance they pleased for subsistence and within that pittance would I live not only for justice sake but were my difficulties owing to my own inconsideration as a just punishment for not being satisfied with my own ampler fortune and for putting to hazard a certainty in hopes of obtaining a share in the property of others Excuse me my dear Everard I mean not particular reflexion but only to give you my notion of general justice in cases of this nature
Acquit yourself worthily of these difficulties I consider you as my brother And you shall be welcome to take with me a brothers part of my estate till you can be restored to a competency
But with regard to the woman whom the infamous Lord B would impose upon you as a wife that is an imposition to which you must not submit Had she been the poorest honest girl in Britain and you had seduced her by promises of marriage I must have made it the condition of our continued friendship that you had married her But a keptwoman—Let not HER Let not the bad man have such a triumph I know his character well I know his dependance on the skill of his arm And I know his litigious spirit and the use he is capable of making of his privilege But regard not these Let me advise you Sir after you have secured to your creditors the payment of their just debts to come over to me The sooner the better By this means you will be out of the way of being disturbed by the menaces of this Lord and the machinations of this woman We will return together I will make your case my own Both the courage and the quality of the man who can be unjust are to be despised Is not Lord B an unjust man in every article of his dealings with men Do not
you my dear cousin be so in anyone and you will ever command the true fraternal love of
Your CHARLES GRANDISON
Selbyhouse Friday June 16
HERE we are my Caroline And the happiest people in the world should we be if Harriet were but well my brother in England and you and Lord L with us
Mrs Selby Lucy Nancy Harriet met us at StonyStratford escorted by uncle Selby and his kinsman James
My Lord and I were Dear Love and Life all the journey I was the sweetesttempered creature—Joyful people are not always wise ones When the heart is open silly things will be said any-thing, in short that comes uppermost I kindly allowed for my Lords joy on twenty occasions I smiled when he smiled laughedout when he laughed out did not talk to anybody else when he directed his discourse to me so that the honest man crowed all the way It is a charming thing thought I several times to be on a foot of good understanding with each other for now I can call him honest man or any names that lately would have made him prance and caper and he takes everything kindly Nay two or three times he called me honest woman but laughed and looked round him at the time as if he were conscious that he had made a bold as well as witty retort
Let me tell you Lady L that I intend to give him signs when he exceeds and other signs when he is right and clever and I will accept of signs from him that he may not be affronted I am confident that we shall be in time an amazing happy couple
Emily was rejoiced to see her equally beloved and revered Miss Byron Miss Byron embraced Emily with the affection of a sister My honest man kissed Miss Byrons hand on one knee in the fervour of his love and gratitude for I had let him know that he owed much of his present happiness to her She congratulated him whisperingly in my hearing on my being good
James Selby almost wept for love over Emilys hand while Emily looked as sleek and as shy as a bird newcaught for fear of being thought to give him encouragement after what you may remember passed between them at Dunstable
Aunt Selby Lucy Nancy were all rapture to see us We to see them We were mother and sisters the moment we were seated Uncle Selby began to crack his jokes upon me in the first halfhour I spared him not And Lord G will fare the better for him since I must have somebody to play the rogue with Dr Bartlett was the revered of every heart By the way I am in high credit with that good man for my behaviour to my Lord
Miss Byron received him with open arms and even as her father with an offered cheek And the modest man was so much affected by her filial regard for him that I was obliged for our own sakes to whisper her to reinin her joy to see him that we might have the pleasure of hearing him talk
When we arrived at Selbyhouse our joy was renewed as if we had not seen each other at Stratford
O I should have told you that in our journey from Stratford hither aunt Selby Harriet Emily and I were in one coach And I had as we went on a great deal of good instruction insinuated to me by way of felicitation on my being so very kind and obliging to Lord G And as if I had been a child corrected for being untoward they endeavoured to coax me into a perseverance in what they called my duty Aunt
Selby on this occasion performed the maternal part with so much good sense and her praise and her cautions were so delicately insinuated that I began to think it was almost as pretty to be good as to be saucy
Upon the whole I really believe Lord G will have reason to rejoice as long as he lives that he was ruled by his wife in changing his Windsor and Oxford journey for this of Northamptonshire So right a thing is it for men to be governable and perhaps youll add for women to keep good company
Lord L thinks you my sage sister so good already that you need not be better or I would wish him to send you down to Selbyhouse
Well may Harriet revere her grandmother That venerable woman is good in every sense of the word She is pious charitable benevolent affectionate condescending to the very foibles of youth chearful wise patient under the infirmities of age having outlived all her wishes but one which is to see her Harriet happily married And then she says she hopes to be soon released Never could she be so much admired in her blooming youth tho she was then it seems deservedly celebrated both for her mind and person as she is now in her declining age
You have seen and admire Mrs Selby She rises upon me every hour It gives ones heart joy Lady L to look forward beyond the age of youth and flutter when we see by these Ladies that women in their advanced years may to express myself in the stile of Sir Rowland Meredith be good for something or still better that the matronly time of female life is by far the most estimable of all the stages of it if they make good wives good mistresses and good mothers And let me say good aunts were it but to keep in countenance aunt Gertrude and aunt Nell who good souls will now hardly ever be mothers
Lucy is an excellent young creature Nancy when Lucy is not present is as excellent Her cousins Kitty and Patty Holles are agreeable young women
James Selby is a good sort of blundering wellmeaning great boy who when he has lived a few years longer may make much such a good sort of man as my Lord G Theres for you my once catechizing sister Pray be as ready to praise as you used to be to blame me I find duty and love growing fast upon me I shall get into a custom of bringing in Lord G on every occasion that will do him credit And then I shall be like Lady Betty Clemson who is so perpetually dinning the ears of her guests with her domestic superlatives that we are apt to suspect the truth of all she says
But Harriet our dear Harriet is not at all well She visibly falls away and her fine complexion fades Mr Deane was here a week ago and Lucy tells me was so much startled at the alteration in her lovely countenance that he broke from her and shed tears to Lucy This good girl and Nancy lament to each other the toovisible change But when they are with the rest of the family they all seem afraid to take notice of it to one another. She herself takes generous pains to be lively chearful and unapprehensive for fear of giving concern to her grandmother and aunt who will sometimes sit and contemplate the alteration sigh and nowandthen drop a silent tear which however they endeavour to smile off to avoid notice I have already observed that as these good Ladies sit in her company they watch in silent love every turn of her mild and patient eye every change of her charming countenance for they too well know to what to impute the inward malady which has approached the best of hearts and they know that the cure cannot be within the art of the physician They as we do admire her voice and her playing They ask her for a song for a lesson on her harpsichord
She plays she sings at the very first word In no one act of chearfulness does she refuse to join Her grandmother and her aunt Selby frequently give a private ball The old Lady delights to see young people chearful and happy She is always present and directs the diversion for she has a fine taste We are often to have these Balls for our entertainment Miss Byron her cousins say knowing the delight her grandmother takes in these amusements for the sake of the young people to whom she considers it as a healthful exercise as well as diversion is one of the alertest in them She excuses not herself nor encourages that supeinness that creeps on and invades a heart ill at ease Yet everyone sees that solitude and retirement are her choice tho she is very careful to have it supposed otherwise and on the first summons hastens into company and joins in the conversation O she is a lovely and beloved young creature I think verily that tho she was the admiration of everybody when she was with us yet she is if possible more amiable at home and among her own relations Her uncle Selby raillies her sometimes But respect as well as love are visible in his countenance when he does In her returns sweetness and reverence are mingled She never forgets that the raillier is her uncle yet her delicacy is not more apparent than that she is mistress of fine talents in that way but often restrains them because she has far more superior ones to value herself upon And is not this the case with my brother also—Not so I am afraid with your Charlotte
All her friends however rejoice in our visit to them for her sake They compliment me on my lively turn and hope for a happy effect on Miss Byron from it
I cannot accuse her of reserve to me She owns her Love for our brother as frankly as she used to do after we had torn the secret from her bosom at Colnebrooke
She acknowleges to me that she glories in it and will not try to conquer it because she is sure the trial will be to no purpose an excuse by the way that if the conquest be necessary would better become the mouth of your Charlotte than that of our Harriet And so I have told her
She prays for the restoration of Lady Clementina and recovery of Signor Jeronymo She loves to talk of the whole Italian family and yet seems fully assured that Clementina will be the happy woman But surely Harriet must be our sister She values herself upon my brothers so solemnly requesting and claiming her friendship True Friendship she but this morning argued with me being disinterested and more intellectual than personal is nobler than Love Love she said does not always ripen into Friendship as is too frequently seen in wedlock
But does not the dear creature refine too much when she argues thus A calm and easy kind of esteem is all I have to judge from in my matrimony I know not what Love is At the very highest and when I was most a fool my motive was supposed convenience in order to be freed from the apprehended tyranny of a father and that never carried me beyond liking But you Lady L were an adept in the passion Pray tell me if there be a difference between Love and Friendship which is the noblest Upon my opposing you and Lord L so truly one mind to her argument she said That yours is Love mellowed into Friendship upon full proof of the merit of each But that there was a time that the flame was Love only founded in hope of the merit and the proof might have been wanting as it often is when the hope has been as strong and seemingly as well founded as in your courtship
Harriet possibly may argue from her own situation in order to make her heart easy and my brother is so unquestionably worthy that Love and Friendship
my be one thing in the bosom of a woman admiring him since he will not enter into any obligation that he cannot that he will not religiously perform And if this refinement will make her heart easier and enable her to allow his Love to be placed elsewhere because of a prior claim and of circumstances that call for generous compassion while she can content herself with the offered Friendship I think we ought to indulge her in her delicate notions
Selbyhouse is a large convenient wellfurnishd habitation Tomorrow we are to make a visit with Lucy and Nancy to their branch of the Selby Family James is gone before Those two girls are orphans But their grandmother by their mothers side a good old Lady motherinlaw to Mr Selby lives with them or rather they with her and loves them
On our return we are to have our first private Ball at Shirleymanor a fine old seat which already the benevolent owner calls her Harriets with an estate of about 500 l a year round it
Adieu my dear Lady L—My Lord and you I hope will own me now Yet are you not sometimes surprised at the suddenness of my reformation Shall I tell you how it came about To own the truth I began to find the man could be stout
Charlotte thought I what are you about You mean not to continue for ever your playful folly You have no malice no wickedness in your sauciness only a little levity It may grow into habit—Make your retreat while you can with honour before you harden the mans heart and find your reformation a matter of indifference to him You have a few good qualities are not a modern woman have neither wings to your shoulders nor gadfly in your cap You love home At present the honest man loves you He has no vices Every one loves you but all your friends are busy upon your conduct You will estrange them from you The
man will not be a King Log—Be you a prudent Frog lest you turn him into a Stork A weak man if you suppose him weak made a tyrant will be an insupportable thing I shall make him appear weak in the eyes of everybody else when I have so much grace left as would make me rise against any one who should let me know they thought him so My brother will be reflected upon for his solicitude to carry me to church with a man whom I shall make the world think I despise Harriet will renounce me My wit will be thought folly Does not the suckling Emily does not the stale virgin aunt Eleanor think they have a right to blame entreat instruct me I will be good of choice and make my duty received as a favour I have travelled a great way in the road of perverseness I see briars thorns and a pathless track before me I may be benighted The day is far gone Serpents may be in the brakes I will get home as fast as I can and rejoice every one who now only wonder what is become of me
These Lady L were some of my reasonings Make your advantage of them against me if you can You see that your grave wisdom had some weight with my light folly Allow a little for constitution nowandthen and you shall not have cause to be ashamed of your sister
Let me conclude this subject half one way half tother—that is to say half serious half roguish If my Lord would but be cured of his taste for trifles and nickknacks I should possibly be induced to consider him as a man of better understanding than I once thought him But who can forbear sometimes to think slightly of a man who by effeminacies and a Shell and China taste undervalues himself I hope I shall cure him of these foibles and if I can I shall consider him as a work of my own hands and be proud of him in compliment to myself
Let my aunt Eleanor no more Nell if I can help it know how good I continue to be And now I will relieve you and myself with the assurance that I am and ever will be notwithstanding yours and Lord Ls past severity to me
Your truly affectionate Sister CH G
Selbyhouse Monday July 24
LORD bless me my dear what shall we do My brother in all probability may by this time—But I cannot cannot tell how to suppose it—Ah the poor Harriet The three Letters from my brother which by the permission of Dr Bartlett I inclose will shew you that the Italian affair is now at a crisis
Read them in this place and return them sealed up and directed for the Doctor
Florence Wednesday July 516
THREE weeks have now past since the date of my last Letter to my paternal friend Nor has it in the main been a disagreeable space of time since within it I have had the pleasure of hearing from you and other of my friends in England from those
at Paris and good news from Bologna whereever I moved as well from the Bishop and Father Marescotti as from Mr Lowther
The Bishop particularly tells me that they ascribe to the amendment of the brother the hopes they now have of the sisters recovery
I passed near a fortnight of this time at Naples and Portici The General and his Lady who is one of the best of women made it equally their study to oblige and amuse me
The General on my first arrival at Naples entered into talk with me on my expectations with regard to his sister I answered him as I had done his mother and he was satisfied with what I said
When we parted he embraced me as his brother and friend and apologized for the animosity he once had to me If it pleased God to restore his sister no more from him he said should her mind be endangered But her choice should determine him His Lady declared her esteem for me without reserve and said That next to the recovery of Clementina and Jeronymo her wish was to be intitled to call me Brother
What my dear Dr Bartlett is at last to be my destiny The greatest opposer of the alliance once in view is overcome But the Bishop you will observe by what I have told you ascribes to another cause the merit which the General gives me with a view possibly to abate my expectation Be the event as it may I will go on in the course I am in and leave to Providence the issue
Mrs Beaumont returned from Bologna but yesterday
She confirms the favourable account I had before received of the great alteration for the better that there is in the health both of brother and sister and because of that in the whole family Mr Lowther she says is as highly as deservedly caressed by every
one Jeronymo is able to sit up two hours in a day He has tried his pen and finds it will be again in his power to give his friends pleasure with it
Mrs Beaumont tells me that Clementina generally twice a day visits her beloved Jeronymo She has taken once more to her needleworks and often fits and works in her brothers room This amuses her and delights him
She converses generally without much rambling and seems to be very soon sensible of her misfortune when she begins to talk incoherently For at such times she immediately stops not seldom sheds a tear and either withdraws to her own closet or is silent
She several times directed her discourse to Mr Lowther when she met him in her brothers chamber She observed great delicacy when she spoke of me to him and dwelt not on the subject But was very inquisitive about England and the customs and manners of the people particularly of the women
Everybody has made it a rule Jeronymo among the rest and to which also Camilla strictly conforms never to lead her to talk of me She however asks often after me and numbers the days of my absence
At one time seeking Mrs Beaumont in her dressingroom she thus accosted her I come madam to ask you Why everybody forbears to mention the Chevalier Grandison and when I do talks of somebody or something else Camilla is as perverse in this way as any body Nay Jeronymo I have tried him several times does the very same Can Jeronymo be ungrateful Can Jeronymo be indifferent to his friend who had done so much for him I hope I am not looked upon as a silly or as a forward creature that am not to be trusted with hearing the name of the man mentioned for whom I profess an high esteem and gratitude Tell me madam have I at any time in my unhappy hours behaved or spoken aught unworthy of my character of my family of the modesty
of woman—If I have my heart renounces the guilt I must indeed have been unhappy I could not be Clementina della Porretta
Mrs Beaumont set her heart at ease on this subject
Well said she it shall be seen I hope so that true modesty and high gratitude may properly have a place together in this heart putting her hand to her bosom Let me but own that I esteem him for I really do and I hope my sincerity shall never mislead or betray me into indecorum And now madam let us talk of him for one quarter of an hour and no more Here is my watch it is an English watch nobody knows that I bought it for that very reason Dont you tell She then suspecting her head dropt a tear and withdrew in silence
Mrs Beaumont my dear friend knows the true state of my heart and she pities me She wishes that the Ladys reason may be established she is afraid it should be risqued by opposition But there is a man whom she wishes to be Clementinas There is a woman—But—do thou Providence direct us both All that thou orderest must be best
Mrs Beaumont thinks Lady Clementina is at times too solemn And is the more apprehensive when she is so as there is a greatness in her solemnity which she is afraid will be too much for her She has often her silent fits in which she is regardless of what anybody but her mother says to her
As she grows better the fervor of her devotion which in her highest delirium never went quite off increases Nor do they discourage but indulge her in it because in her it seems by the chearfulness with which her ardent zeal is attended to be owing to true piety which they justly observe never makes a good mind sour morose or melancholy
Mrs Beaumont says That for two days before she came away she had shewn on several occasions that she began to expect my return—She brok silence in
one of her dumb fits—
Twenty days did he say Camilla
and was silent again
The day before Mrs Beaumont set out as she the young Lady and Marchioness were sitting at work together Camilla entered with unusual precipitation with a message from the Bishop desiring leave to attend them—And the Marchioness saying By all means pray let him come in the young Lady on hearing him approach laid down her work changed colour and stood up with an air of dignity But on the Bishops entrance sat down with a look of dissatisfaction as if disappointed
Adieu my dear friend I shall reach Bologna I hope tomorrow night you will soon have another Letter from
Your trulyaffectionate GRANDISON
Bologna July 718
IT was late last night before I arrived at this place I sent my compliments to the family In the morning I went to their palace and was immediately conducted to the chamber of Signor Jeronymo He was disposing himself to rise that he might receive me up in order to rejoice me on his ability to do so I sat down by him and received the overflowings of his grateful heart Everybody he told me was amended both in health and spirits
Camilla came in soon after congratulating me on my arrival in the name of her young Lady She let me know that in less than a quarter of an hour she would be ready to receive my visit
O Sir said the good woman miracles miracles—We are all joy and hope
At going out she whispered as she passed I was then at the window My young Lady is dressing in colours to receive you She will no more appear to you she says in black—Now Sir will you soon reap the reward of all your goodness for the General has signified to my Lord his entire acquiescence with his sisters choice and their determination
The Bishop came in Chevalier said he you are welcome thrice welcome to Bologna You have subdued us all Clementina commands her own destiny The man whom she chooses to call hers be he who he will will have a treasure in her in every sense of the word The Marquis the Count Father Marescotti all severally made me the highest compliments The Count particularly taking my hand said From us Chevalier nothing will be wanting to make you happy From you there can be but one thing wanting to make us so
The Marchioness entering saved me any other return than by bowing to each Before I could speak to her Welcome Chevalier said she But you are not come before you were wished for You will find we have kept a more exact account of the days of your absence than we did before I hope her joy to see you will not be too much for her Clementina ever had a grateful heart
The Chevaliers prudence said Father Marescotti may be confided in He knows how to moderate his own joy on his first address to her on seeing her so greatly amended And then Lady Clementinas natural delicacy will not not have an example to carry her joy above her reason
The Chevalier madam said the Bishop smiling will at this rate be too secure We leave him not room for professions But he cannot be ungenerous
The Chevalier Grandison said the kind Jeronymo speaks by action It is his way His head his heart his lips his hands are governed by one motion and
directed by one spring When he leaves no room for doubt professions would depreciate his service
He then ascribed an extraordinary merit to me on my leaving my native country and friends to attend them in person
We may perhaps my reverend friend be allowed to repeat the commendations given us by grateful and benevolent friends when we cannot otherwise so well do justice to the generous warmth of such exalted spirits The noble Jeronymo I am confident were he in my place and I in his would put a more moderate value on the like services done by himself What is friendship if on the like calls and blessed with power it is not ready to exert itself in action
Grandison replied the Bishop were he one of us might expect canonization In a better religion we have but few young men of quality and fortune so good as he tho I think none so bad as many of the pretended REformed who travel as if to copy our vices and not to imitate our virtues
I was overwhelmed with gratitude on a reception so very generous and unreserved Camilla came in seasonably with a message from the young Lady inviting my attendance on her in her dressingroom
The Marchioness withdrew just before I followed Camilla She told me as we went that she thought her not quite so sedate as she had been for some days past which she supposed owing to her hurrying in dressing and to her expectation of me
The mother and daughter were together They were talking when I entered—Dear fanciful girl I heard the mother say disposing otherwise some flowers that she had in her bosom
Clementina when her mind was sound used to be all unaffected elegance I never saw but one woman who equalled her in that respect Miss Byron seems conscious that she may trust to her native charms yet betrays no pride in her consciousness
Who ever spoke of her jewels that beheld her face For mingled dignity and freedom of air and manner these two Ladies excel amongst women
Clementina appeared exceedingly lovely But her fancifulness in the disposition of her ornaments and the unusual lustre of her eyes which every one was wont to admire for their serene brightness shewed an imagination more disordered than I hoped to see and gave me pain at my entrance
The Chevalier my Love said the Marchioness turning round to me Clementina receive your friend
She stood up dignity and sweetness in her air I approached her She refused not her hand The General madam and his Lady salute you by me
They received you I am sure as the friend of our family But tell me Sir smiling have you not exceeded your promised time
Two or three days only
Only Sir—Well I upbraid you not No wonder that a man so greatly valued cannot always keep his time
She hesitated looked at her mother at me and on the floor visibly at a loss Then as sensible of her wandering turned aside her head and took out her handkerchief
Mrs Beaumont madam said I to divert her chagrin sends you her compliments
Were you at Florence—Mrs Beaumont said you—Were you at Florence Then running to her mother she threw her arms about her neck hiding her face in her bosom—O madam conceal me conceal me from myself I am not well
Be comforted my best Love wrapping her maternal arms about her and kissing her forehead you will be better presently
I made a motion to withdraw The Marchioness by her head approving I went into the next apartment
She soon enquired for me and on notice from Camilla I returned
She sat with her head leaning on her mothers shoulder She raised it—Excuse me Sir said she I cannot be well I see—But no matter I am better and I am worse than I was Worse because I am sensible of my calamity
Her eyes had then lost all that lustre which had shewn a too raised imagination But they were as much in the other extreme overclouded with mistiness dimness vapours swimming in tears
I took her hand Be not disheartend madam You will be soon well These are usual turns of the malady you seem to be so sensible of when it is changing to perfect health
God grant it—O Chevalier what trouble have I given my friends—my mamma here—You Sir—Everybody O that naughty Laurana But for her—But tell me—Is she dead—Poor cruel creature Is she no more
Would you have her to be no more my Love said her mother
O no no I would have had her to live and to repent Was she not the companion of my childhood She loved me once I always loved her Say Chevalier is she living
I looked at the Marchioness as asking if I should tell her she was and receiving her approving nod She is living madam answered I—and I hope will repent—
Is she is she indeed my mamma interrupted she
She is my dear
Thank God rising from her seat clasping her hands and standing more erect than usual then have I a triumph to come said the noble creature Excuse my pride I will shew her that I can forgive her—But I will talk of her when I am better You say
Sir I shall be better You say that my malady is changing—What comfort you give me
Then dropping down against her mothers chair on her knees her eyes and hands lifted up Great and good God Almighty heal heal I beseech thee my wounded mind that I may be enabled to restore to the most indulgent of parents the happiness I have robbed them of Join your prayers with mine Sir You are a good man—But you madam are a Catholic The Chevalier is not—Do you pray for me I shall be restored to your prayers And may I be restored as I shall never more do any-thing, wilfully to offend or disturb your tenderheart
God restore my child sobbed the indulgent parent raising her
Camilla had not withdrawn She stood weeping in a corner of the room Camilla said the young Lady advancing towards her lend me your arm I will return to you again Sir—Dont go—Excuse me madam for a few moments I find putting her hand to her forehead I am not quite well—I will return presently
The Marchioness and I were extremely affected by her great behaviour But tho we were grieved for the pain her sensibility gave her yet we could not but console and congratulate ourselves upon it as affording hopes of her perfect recovery
She returned soon attended by Camilla who having been soothing her appealed to me whether I did not think she would soon be quite well
I answered That I had no question of it
Look you there now my dear Lady
I thought you said so Chevalier but I was not sure God grant it My affliction is great my mamma I must have been a wicked creature—Pray for me
Her mother comforted her praised her and raised her dejected heart And then Clementina looking down a blush overspreading her face and standing
motionless as if considering of something—What is in my childs thoughts said the Marchioness taking her hand What is my Love thinking of
Why madam in a low but audible voice I should be glad to talk with the Chevalier alone methinks He is a good man But if you think I ought not I will not desire it In everything I will be governed by you Yet I am ashamed What can I have to say that my mother may not hear—Nothing nothing Your Clementinas heart madam is a part of yours
My Love shall be indulged in every thing You and I Camilla will retire—Clementina was silent and both withdrew
She commanded me to sit down by her I obeyed It was not in the situation I was in for me to speak first I attended her pleasure in silence
She seemed at a loss She looked round her then at me then on the floor I could not then forbear speaking
The mind of Lady Clementina said I seems to have something upon it that she wishes to communicate You have not madam a more sincere a more faithful friend than the man before you Your happiness and that of my Jeronymo engross all my cares Honour me with your confidence
I had something to say I had many questions to ask—But pity me Sir my memory is gone I have lost it all—But this I know that we are all under obligations to you which we never can return And I am uneasy under the sense of them
What madam have I done but answered to the call of friendship which in the like situation not any one of your family but would have obeyed—
This generous way of thinking adds to the obligation Say but Sir in what way we can express our gratitude in what way I in particular can and I shall be easy Till we have done it I never shall
And can you madam think that I am not highly rewarded in the prospect of that success which opens to all our wishes
It may be so in your opinion But this leaves the debt still heavier upon us
How could I avoid construing the hint in my favour And yet I did not think the Lady even had she not had parents in being had she been absolutely independent well enough to determine for herself in a situation so delicate How then could I in honour all her friends expecting that I should be entirely governed by her motions as they were resolved to be take direct advantage of the gratitude which at that instant possessed her noble mind
If madam answered I you will suppose yourselves under obligations to me and will not be easy till you have acknowleged them the return must be a family act Let me refer myself to your father mother brothers and to yourself What you and they determine upon must be right
After a short silence—Well Sir I believe you have put the matter upon a right footing But here is my difficulty—You cannot be rewarded I cannot reward you But Sir the subject begins to be too much for me I have high notions—My duty to God and to my parents my gratitude to you—But I have begun to write down all that has occurred to me on this important subject I wish to act greatly You Sir have set me the example I will continue to write down my thoughts I cannot trust to my memory—No nor yet to my heart—But no more on a subject that is at present too affecting to me I will talk to my mother upon it first but not just now tho I will ask for the honour of her presence
She then went from me into the next room and instantly returned leading in the Marchioness Dont dear madam be angry with me I had many things to say to the Chevalier which I thought I could best
say when I was alone with him but I forget what they were Indeed I ought not to remember them if they were such as I could not say before my mother
My child cannot do any-thing that can make me displeased with her The Chevaliers generosity and my Clementinas goodness of heart can neither of them be doubted
O madam What a deep sense have I of yours and of my Fathers indulgence to me How shall I requite it—How unworthy should I be of that returning reason which sometimes seems to enliven my hope if I were not to resolve that it shall be wholly employed in my duty to God and to you both But even then my gratitude to that generous man will leave a burden upon my heart that never can be removed
She withdrew with precipitation leaving the Marchioness and me in silence looking upon each other and admiring her Camilla followed her and instantly returning—My dear young Lady—Dont be frightened madam—is not well She seems to have exhausted her spirits by talking
Tbe Marchioness hastened in with Camilla And while I was hesitating whether to withdraw to Jeronymo or to quit the palace Camilla came to me—My young Lady asks for you Sir
I followed her to her closet She was in her mothers arms on a couch just come out of a fit but not a strong one She held out her hand to me I pressed it with my lips I was affected with her nobleness of mind and weakness of spirit—O Chevalier said she how unworthy am I of that tenderness which you express for me O that I could be grateful—But God will reward you He only can
She desired her mother and me to leave her to her Camilla We both withdrew
What can be done with this dear creature Chevalier
She is going to be bad again—O Sir Her behaviour is now different from what it ever was
She seems madam to have something on her mind that she has a difficulty to reveal When she has revealed it she will be easier You will prevail upon her madam by your condescending goodness to communicate it to you Allow me to withdraw to Signor Jeronymo Lady Clementina when she is a little recovered will acquaint you with what passed between her and me
I heard it all replied she and you are the most honourable of men What man would what man could have acted as you acted with regard to her with regard to us yet not slight the dear creatures manifest meaning but refer it to us and to her to make it a family act A family act it must ir shall be Only Sir let me be assured that my childs malady will not lessen your Love for her And permit her to be a Catholic—These are all the terms I for my part have to make with you The rest of us still wish that you would be so tho but in appearance for the sake of our alliances But I will not expect an answer to the last As to the first you cannot be ungenerous to one who has suffered so much for her Love of you
The Marquis and the Bishop entering the room I leave it to you madam said I to acquaint their Lordships with what has passed I will attend Signor Jeronymo for a few moments
I went accordingly to his chamber but being told that he was disposed to rest I withdrew with Mr Lowther into his And there Camilla coming to me Mr Lowther retiring she told me that her young Lady was pretty well recovered It was evident to her she said that she never would be well till the marriage was solemnized They are all said she in close conference together I believe upon that subject My young Lady is endeavouring to compose
herself in her closet The Marchioness hopes you will stay and dine here
I excused myself from dining and desired her to tell her Lady that I would attend them in the evening
I am now preparing to do so
Bologna June 718
NOW my dear friend are matters here drawing to a crisis I was conducted as soon as I entered this palace to the presence of the Marquis and Marchioness The Marquis arose and took my hand with great but solemn kindness and led me to a chair placed between theirs The Bishop the Count and Father Marescotti enterd and took their places
My dear said the Marquis referring to his Lady—
After some little hesitation—We have no hope Sir said she of our childs perfect restoration but from—She stopt—
Our compliance with every wish of her heart said the Bishop
Ay do you proceed said the Marchioness to the Prelate
It would be to no purpose Chevalier questioned the Bishop to urge to you the topic so near to all our hearts
I bowed my assent to what he said
I am sorry for it replied the Bishop
I am very sorry for it said the Count
What security can we ask of you Sir said the Marquis that our child shall not be perverted—O Chevalier It is a hard hard trial
Father Marescotti answered I shall prescribe the terms
I cannot in conscience said the Father consent to this marriage Yet the merits of the Chevalier Grandison have taken from me the power of opposing it Permit me to be silent
Father Marescotti and I said the Bishop are in one situation as to scruples of conscience But I will forget the Prelate for the Brother Dear Grandison will you permit us to say to enquirers that we look upon you as one of our church and that prudential reasons with regard to your country and friends in it deter you at present from declaring yourself
Let not terms be proposed my good Lord that would lessen your opinion of me should I comply with them If I am to be honoured with an admission into this noble family let me not in my own eyes appear unworthy of the honour Were I to find myself capable of prevaricating in an article so important as religion no one could hate me so much as I should hate myself were even an imperial diadem with your Clementina the noblest of women to be the consideration
You have the example of great princes Chevalier said Father Marescotti Henry the Fourth of France Augustus of Poland—
True Father—But great Princes are not always and in every action of their lives great men They might make the less scruple of changing their religion as they were neither of them strict in the practice of it They who can allow themselves in some deviations may in others I boast not of my own virtue but it has been my aim to be uniform I am too well satisfied with my own religion to doubt If I were not it would be impossible but I must be influenced by the wishes of friends so dear to me whose motives are the result of their own piety and of the regard they have for my everlasting welfare
The Chevalier and I rejoined the Bishop have carried this argument to its full extent before My honoured Lords question recurs What security can we have that my sister shall not be perverted The Chevalier refers to Father Marescotti to propose it The Father excuses himself I as the brother of Clementina ask you Chevalier Will you promise never by yourself or your English divines to attempt to pervert her—A confessor you have allowed her Shall Father Marescotti be the man
And will Father Marescotti—
I will for the sake of preserving to Lady Clementina her faith that faith by which only she can be saved and perhaps in hope of converting the man who then will be dear to the whole family
I not only comply with the proposal but shall think Father Marescotti will do me a favour in putting it into my power to shew him the regard I have for him One request I have only to make That Father Marescotti will prescribe his own conditions to me And I assure you all that they shall be exceeded as to the consideration be they ever so high
You and I Chevalier replied the Father shall have no difficulty as to the terms
None you can have said the Marquis as to those Father Marescotti will be still our spiritual director
Only one condition I will beg leave to make with Father Marescotti that he will confine his pious cares to those only who are already of his own persuasion and that no disputable points may ever be touched upon to servants tenants or neighbours in a country where a different religion from that to which he is a credit is established I might perhaps have safely left this to his own moderation and honour yet without such a previous engagement his conscience might have been embarrassed and had I not insisted on it I should have behaved towards my country in a manner for which I could not answer to my own heart
Your countrymen Chevalier said the Count complain loudly of persecution from our church Yet what disqualifications do Catholics lie under in England
A great deal my Lord may be said on this subject I think it sufficient to answer for myself and my own conduct
As to our childs servants said the Marchioness methinks I should hope that Father Marescotti might have a small congregation about him to keep their Lady in countenance in a country where her religion will subject her to inconveniencies perhaps to more than inconveniencies
Her woman and those servants replied I who will immediately attend her person shall always be chosen by herself If they behave well I will consider them as my servants for their benefit If they misbehave I must be allowed to consider them also as my servants as well as their Ladys I must not be subject to the dominion of servants the most intolerable of all dominion Were they to know that they are independent of me I should be disobeyed perhaps insulted and my resentment of their insolence would be thought a persecution on account of their religion
This article bore some canvassing If Camilla at last I said were the woman on her discretion I should have great dependence
—And on Father Marescottis you also may Chevalier said the Bishop I should hope that when my sister and you are in England together you would not scruple to consult him on the misbehaviour of any of my sisters Catholic servants
Indeed my Lord I would I will myself be judge in my own house of the conduct and behaviour of all my servants From the independence of such people upon me disputes or uneasinesses might arise that otherwise would never happen between their Lady and me The power of dismission on any flagrant misbehaviour
must be in me My temper is not capricious My charity is not confined My consideration for people in a foreign country and wholly in my power will I hope be even generous I perhaps may bear with them the more for having them in my power But my wifes servants were she a sovereign must be mine
Unhappy said Father Marescotti that you can not be of one faith But Sir you will allow I hope if the case will bear it of expostulation from me
Yes Father And should generally I believe be determined by your advice and mediation But I would not condition to make the greatest saint and the wisest man on earth a judge in my own family over me
There is reason in this rejoined the Bishop You perhaps would not scruple Sir to consult the Marchioness before you dimissed such a considerable servant as a woman if my sister did not agree to it
The Marquis and Marchioness will be judges of my conduct when I am in Italy I should despise myself were it not to be the same in England as at Bologna I have in my travels been attended by Catholic Servants They never had reason to complain of want of kindness even to indulgence from me We Protestants confine not salvation within the pale of our own church Catholics do and have therefore an argument for their zeal in endeavouring to make proselvtes that we have not Hence generally speaking may a Catholic servant live more happily with a Protestant master than a Protestant servant with a Catholic master Let my servants live but up to their own professions and they shall be indulged with all reasonable opportunities of pursuing the dictates of their own consciences A truly religious servant of whatever persuasion cannot be a bad one
Well as to this article we must leave it acquiesced the Bishop to occasions as they may arise Nine
months in the year I think you propose to reside in Italy—
That my Lord was on a supposition that Lady Clementina would not oblige me with her company to my native country any part of the year in that case I proposed to pass but three months in every year in my native country Otherwise I hoped that year and year in turn would be allowed me
We can have no wish to separate man and wife said the Marquis Clementina will no doubt accompany her husband We will stipulate only for year and year But let ours be the first year And we cannot doubt but the dear child will meet with all reasonable indulgence for the sake of her tender health
Not one request that you my Lord and you madam shall think reasonable shall be denied to the dear Lady
Let me propose one thing Chevalier said the Marchioness that in the first year which is to be ours you endeavour to prevail upon your sisters amiable women as we have heard they are to come over and be of our acquaintance Your Ward also who may be looked upon as a little Italian You love your sisters and I should be glad so would Clementina I make no doubt to be familiarized to the Ladies of your family before she goes to England
My sisters madam are the most obliging of women as their Lords are of men I have no doubt of prevailing upon them to attend you and Lady Clementina here And as it will give them time to prepare for the visit I believe if it be made in the latter part of the first year it will be most acceptable to them and to you since then they will not only have commenced a friendship with Lady Clementina and obtained the honour of your good opinion but will attend the dear Lady in her voyage to England
They all approved of this I added that I hoped when the second year arrived I should have the honour of finding in the party some of this noble family looking round me which could not fail of giveing delight as well as affiance to the tender heart of their beloved Clementina
My Lord and I said the Marchioness will probably if well be of the party We shall not know how to part with a child so dear to us—But these seas—
Well well said the Bishop this is a contingence and must be left to time and to the Chevalier and my sister when they are one As his is the strongest mind it will in all reasonable matters yield to the weaker—Now as to my sisters fortune—
It is a large one said the Count We shall all take pleasure in adding to it
Should there be more sons than one by the marriage rejoined the Bishop as the estate of her two grandfathers will be an ample provision for one of them and your English estate for another I hope we may expect that the education of one of them may be left to us
Every one said this was a very reasonable expectation
I cannot condition for this my Lord The education of the sons was to be left to me that of the daughters to the mother I will consent that the Italian estate shall be tied up for daughters portions and that they shall be brought up under your own eyes Italians The sons shall have no benefit by the Italian estate—
Except they become Catholics Chevalier added the Bishop
No my Lord replied I That might be a temptation—Tho I would leave posterity as free as I myself am left in the article of religion yet would I not lay any snares for them I am for having them
absolutely secluded from any possibility of enjoying that estate as they will be Englishmen Cannot this be done by the laws of your country and the tenure by which these estates are held
If Clementina marry said the Marquis whether there be issue or not Lauranas claim ceases But Chevalier can you think it just to deprive children unborn of their natural right
I have a very good estate It is improving I have considerable expectations besides That is not mine which I do not possess and shall have no right to but by marriage and which therefore must and ought to be subject to marriagearticles Riches never made men happy If my descendants will not be so with a competence they will not with a redundance I hope Signor Jeronymo may recover and marry Let the estate here from the hour that I shall be honoured with the hand of your dear Clementina be Jeronymos and his posteritys for ever If it shall be thought proper for him on taking possession to make his sister any brotherly acknowlegement it shall be to her sole and separate use and not subject to any controul of mine If Signor Jeronymo marry not or if he do and die without issue let the estate in question be the Generals He and his Lady deserve everything The estate shall not by my consent go out of the name
They looked upon each other—Brother said the Count I see not but we may leave everything to the generosity of such a young man as this He quite overcomes me
A disinterested and generous man rejoined the Bishop is born a ruler and he is at the same time the greatest of politicians were policy only to be considered
The most equitable medium I think resumed the Marchioness is what the Chevalier hinted at—and most answerable to the intention of the dear childs
grandfathers It is that the estate in question be secured to the daughters of the marriage Our sons will be greatly provided for And it will be rewarding in some measure the Chevalier for his generosity that the sons of the marriage shall not have their patrimony lessened by the provision to be made for daughters
They all generously applauded the Marchioness and proposing this expedient to me I bowed my grateful assent—See Chevalier said Father Marescotti what a generous family you are likely to be allied with O that you could be subdued by a goodness so much like your own and declare yourself a Catholic His Holiness himself my Lord the Bishop could engage would receive you with blessings at the footstool of his throne You allow Sir that salvation may be obtained in our church Out of it we think it cannot Rejoice us all Rejoice Lady Clementina—and let us know no bound in our joy
What opinion my dear Father Marescotti would you all have of the man who could give up his conscience tho for the highest consideration on earth—Did you could you think the better of the two princes mentioned to me for the change of their religion One of them was assassinated in the streets of his metropolis by an ecclesiastic who questioned the sincerity of his change Could the matter be of indifference to me—But my dear Father Marescotti let us leave this to be debated hereafter between you and me as father and son Your piety shall command my reverence But pain not my heart by putting me on denial of any-thing that shall be asked of me by such respectable and generous persons as those I am before and when we are talking on a subject so delicate and so important
Father Marescotti we must give up this point said the Bishop The Chevalier and I have discussed it heretofore He is a determined man If you hereafter
can gain upon him you will make us all happy But now my Lord to the Marquiss let the Chevalier know what he will have with my sister besides the bequests of her Grandfathers from your bounty and from yours madam to his mother as a daughter of your house
I beg my Lord one word said I to the Marquis before you speak Let not a syllable of this be mentioned to me now Whatever you shall be pleased to do of this nature let it be done annually as my behaviour to your daughter may deserve Do I not know the generosity of every one of this noble family Let me be in your power I have enough for her and for me or I do not know the noble Clementina Whatever you do for the sake of your own magnificence that do But let us leave particulars unmentioned
What would Lady Sforza say were she present rejoined the Count Averse as she is to the alliance she would admire the man
Are you earnest in your request Chevalier asked the Bishop that particulars shall not be mentioned
I beg they may not I earnestly beg it
Pray let the Chevalier be obliged returned the Prelate—Sir said he and snatched my hand brother friend what shall I call you—We will oblige you but not in doubt of your kind treatment of Clementina She must she will deserve it but that we may have it in our power to be revenged of you Sir we will take great revenge of you And let us now rejoice Jeronymos heart with an account of all that has passed We might have held this conference before him All that is further necessary to be said may be said in his presence
Who said Father Marescotti can hold out against the Chevalier Grandison I will tell every one who shall question me on this alliance zealous Catholics with a Protestant so determined what a man he is and then they will allow of this one particular exception to a general rule
All we have now to do said the Marquis is to gain his Holinesss permission That has not been refused in such cases where either the sons or daughters of the marriage are to be brought up Catholics
The Count then took the Marchionesss hand the Marquis that of the Father They whispered together as they walked as I could hear not to my disadvantage The Bishop took mine and we entered Jeronymos chamber together I stept into Mr Lowthers apartment while they related to him all that had passed He was impatient to see me The Bishop led me in to him He embraced me as his brother Now now my dear Grandison said he I am indeed happy This is the point to which I have long directed all my wishes God grant that our dear Clementinas malady may be no drawback upon your felicities and you must both then be happy
I was sensible of a little abatement on the Bishops saying to his mother not knowing I heard him Ah madam the poor Count of Belvedere—How will he be affected—But he will go to Madrid and I hope make himself happy there with some Spanish Lady The poor Count of Belvedere returned the Marchioness with a sigh—But he will not know how to blame us—
Tomorrow morning I am to drink chocolate with Lady Clementina We shall be left together perhaps or only with her mother or Camilla
What my dear Dr Bartlett would I give to be assured that the most excellent of Englishwomen could think herself happy with the Earl of D the only man of all her admirers who is in any manner worthy of calling so bright a jewel his Should Miss Byron be unhappy and through my means the remembrance of my own caution and selfrestraint could not appease the grief of my heart
But so prudent a woman as she is and as the
Countess of D is—What are these suggestions of tenderness—Are they not suggestions of vanity and presumption They are They must be so I will banish them from my thoughts as such Ever amiable Miss Byron friend of my soul forgive me for them—Yet if the noble Clementina is to be mine my heart would be greatly gratified if before she receive my vows I could know that Miss Byron had given her hand in compliance with the entreaties of all her friends to the deserving Earl of D
Having an opportunity I dispatch this and my two former In you I include remembrances to all my beloved friends—Adieu my dear Dr Bartlett
In the highest of our pleasures the sighing heart will remind us of imperfection
It is fit it should be so—Adieu my dear friend
CHARLES GRANDISON
Continuation of Lady Gs Letter to Lady L No XIV
Begun page 77 and dated July 24
WELL my dear sister—And what say you to the contents of the three inclosed Letters I wish I had been with you and Lord L at the time you read them that I might have mingled my tears with yours for the sweet Harriet Why would my brother dispatch these Letters without staying till at least he could have informed us of the result of the next days meeting with Clementina What was the opportunity that he had to send away these Letters which he must be assured would keep us in strange suspense Lang the opportunity that so officiously offered—But perhaps in the tenderness of his nature he thought that this dispatch was necessary to prepare us for what was to follow lest were he to acquaint us with the event as decided our emotion would be too great to be
supported—We sisters to go over to attend Lady CLEMENTINA GRANDISON a twelvemonth hence—Ah the poor Harriet And will she give us leave But it surely must not cannot be—And yet—Hush hush hush Charlotte—And proceed to facts
Dr Bartlett when these Letters were brought him post from London was with us at table We had but just dined He arose and retired to his own apartment with them We were all impatient to know the contents When I thought he had withdrawn long enough to read dispatches of a mile long and yet found that he returned not my impatience was heightened and the dear Harriet said Bad news I fear I hope Sir Charles is well I hope Lady Clementina is not relapsed The good Jeronymo I sear for him
I then stept up to the Doctors room He was sitting with his back towards the door in a pensive mood and when hearing somebody enter he turned about I saw he had been deeply affected—
My dear Dr Bartlett—For Gods sake—How is my brother—
Dont be affrighted madam All are well in Italy—In a way to be well—But alas—Tears started afresh—I am grieved for Miss Byron
How how Doctor Is my brother married—It cannot it shall not be—Is my brother married
O no not married by these Letters But all is concluded upon Sweet sweet Miss Byron Now indeed will her magnanimity be put to the test—Yet Lady Clementina is a most excellent woman—You madam may read these Letters Miss Byron I believe must not You will see by the concludeing part of the last how greatly embarrassed my Patron must be between his honour to one Lady and his tenderness for the other Whichsoever shall be his how much will the other be to be pitied
I ran over with a weeping eye as the paragraphs struck me the passages most affecting O Dr Bartlett
said I when I had done how shall we break this news to Mrs Selby to Mrs Shirley to my Harriet—A trial indeed of her magnanimity—Yet to have received Letters from my brother and to delay going down will be as alarming as to tell it Let us go down
Do you madam take the Letters You have tenderness Your prudence cannot be doubted—I will attend you byandby His eyes were ready to run over
I went down I met my Lord at the stairs foot How how madam does Sir Charles—O my Lord we are all undone My brother by this time is the husband of Lady Clementina
He was struck as with a thunderbolt God forbid were all the words he could speak and turned as pale as death
I love him for his sincere Love to my Harriet I wrung his hand—The Letters do not say it But everybody is consenting and if it be not already so it soon will—Step my Lord to Mrs Selby and tell her that I wish to see her in the flowergarden
Miss Byron and Nancy said he are gone to walk in the garden She was so apprehensive on your staying above and the Doctor not coming down that she was forced to walk into the air I left Mr Selby his Lady Emily and Lucy in the diningparlour to find you and let you know how everybody was affected Tears dropt on his cheeks
I gave him my hand in love I was pleased with him I called him my dear Lord
I think our sweet friend once said that fear made us loving Illnews will oblige us to look about us for consolation
I found the persons named just rising from their seats to walk in the garden—O my dear Mrs Selby said I all is agreed upon in Italy
They were all dumb but Emily Her sorrow was
audible She wrung her hands she was ready to faint her Anne was called to take care of her and she retired
I then told Mr and Mrs Selby what were the contents of the last Letter of the three Mr Selby broke out into passionate grief—I know not what the honour is said he that could oblige Sir Charles treated as he had been by the proud Italians to go over at the first invitation One might have guessed that it would have come to this—Oh the poor Harriet flower of the world She deserved not to be made a second woman to the stateliest minx in Italy But this is my comfort she is superior to them both Upon my soul madam she is The man were he a king that could prefer another woman to our Harriet does not deserve her
He then rose from his seat and walked up and down the room in anger and afterwards sitting down My dear Mrs Selby said he we shall now see what the so often pleaded for dignity of your Sex in the noblestminded will enable you to do But O the dear soul She will find a difference between theory and practice
Lucy wept Her grief was silent Mrs Selby dried her eyes several times My dear Lady G said she at last how shall we break this to Harriet You must do it and she will apply to me for comfort—Pray Mr Selby be patient You must not reflect upon Sir Charles Grandison
Indeed you should not Sir said I He is to be pitied I will read you the concluding part of his last Letter
I did
But Mr Selby would not be pacified He tried to blame my brother
After all my dear these Lords of the creation are more violent more unreasonable and of consequence more silly and perverse more babies if you please
than we women when they are disappointed in anything they set their hearts upon But in every case I believe one extreme borders on another What a fool has Otway made of Castalio raving against the whole sex by a commonplace invective on a mere temporary disappointment when the fault and all the dreadful consequences that attended it were owing to his own baseness of heart in being ashamed to acquaint his brother that he meant honourable Love to the unhappy orphan who was intitled to inviolable protection Whenever I saw this play I pitied the impetuous Polydore more than I did the blubbering great boy Castalio tho I thought both brothers deserved to be hanged
As we were meditating how to break this matter to our lovely friend Mrs Shirley came to Selbyhouse in her chariot We immediately acquainted her with it No surprizes affect her steady soul This cant be helped said she Our dear girl herself expects it May I read the Letter that contains the affecting tidings She took it She run it over slightly to enable herself to speak to the contents—Excellent man—How happy should we have been blessed with the enjoyment of our wishes But you Mrs Selby and I have always pitied Lady Clementina His generous regard for our child is too apparent for his own tranquillity God comfort him and our Harriet O the dear creature Her fading cheeks have shewn the struggles of her heart in such an expectation—Where is my child
I was running out to see for her and met her just ascending the steps that lead from the garden into the house Your grandmamma my love said I—
I hear she is come answered she I am hastening to pay my duty to her
But how do you Harriet
A little better for the air I sent up to Dr Bartlett and he has let me know that Sir Charles is well and everybody better And I am easy
She hurried in to her grandmother rejoicing as she always does to see h•r She kneeled received her tender blessing And what brings my grandmamma to her girl
The day is fine the air and the sight of my Harriet I thought would do me good—You have Letters I find from Italy my Love
I madam have not Dr Bartlett has But I am notto know the contents I suppose Something I doubt not that will be thought unwelcome to me by their not being communicated But as long as everybody there is well I can have patience Time will reveal all things
Dr Bartlett who admires the old Lady and is as much admired by her came down and paid his respects to her Mrs Shirley had returned me the Letters I slid them into the Doctors hand unperceived by Miss Byron
I am told said she that my Emily is not well I will just ask how she does—And was going from us—No dont my love said her aunt taking her hand Emily shall come down to us
I see said she by the compassionate looks of everyone that something is the matter If it be any-thing that most concerns me to know dont through a mistaken tenderness let me be the last to whom it is communicated But I guess—with a forced smile
What does my Harriet guess said her aunt
Dr Bartlett replied she has acquainted me that Sir Charles Grandison is well and that his friends are on the recovery Is it not then easy to guess by everyones silence on the contents of the Letters brought to Dr Bartlett that Sir Charles is either married or near being so What say you my good Dr Bartlett
He was silent but tears were in his eyes She turned round and saw us with our handkerchiefs at ours Her uncle rising from his seat stood with his back to us at one of the windows
Well my dear friends and you are all grieved for me It is kind and I can thank you for your concern for me because the man is Sir Charles Grandison—And so Doctor laying her hand upon his he is actually married God Almighty piously bending one knee make him and his Clementina happy—Well my dearest dear friends and what is there in this more than I expected
Her aunt embraced her
Her uncle ran to her and clasped his arms about her Now now said he have you overcome me my niece For the future I never will dispute with you on some of the arguments I have heretofore held against your Sex Were all women like you—
Her grandmother as she sat held out her open arms My own Harriet child of my heart let me fold you to it—She ran to her and clasped her knees as the old Lady threw her arms about her neck—Pray for me however my grandmamma—that I may act up to my judgment and as your child and my aunt Selbys—It is a trial—I own it—But permit me to withdraw for a few moments
She arose and was hastening out of the room but her aunt took her hand My dearest love said she Sir Charles Grandison is not married—But—
Why why interrupted she if it must be so is it not so
At that moment in came Emily She had been trying to suppress her concern and fansied it seems that she had recovered her presence of Mind But the moment she saw her beloved Miss Byron her fortitude forsook her She gushed into tears and sobbing would have quitted the room but Miss Byron stepping after her caught her arm My Emily my Love my Friend my Sister fly me not Let me give you an example my dear—I am not ashamed to own myself affected But I have fortitude I hope—Sir Charles Grandison when he could not be happy from
his own affairs made himself a partaker in the happiness of others and shall not you and I after so great an example rejoice in his
I am I am—grieved replied the sobbing girl for my Miss Byron I dont love Italian Ladies Were you madam turning to her Lady Grandison I should be the happiest creature in the world
But Dr Bartlett said I may we not now that Miss Byron knows the worst communicate to her the contents of these Letters
I hope you will Sir said Mrs Shirley You see that my Harriet is a noble girl
I rely upon your judgments Ladies answered the Doctor and put the Letters into Mrs Shirleys hands
I have read them said I We will leave Mrs Shirley Mrs Selby and Miss Byron together We Lucy Nancy Emily will take a walk in the garden Shall we have your company Dr Bartlett I saw he was desirous to withdraw Lucy desired to stay behind Harriet looked as if she wished Lucy to stay and I led the other two into the garden Dr Bartlett leaving us at the entrance into it and I told them the contents of the Letters as we walked
They were greatly affected as I thought they would be which made me lead them out Lord G joined us in our walk as well as in our concern so that the dear Harriet had none but comforters left about her who enabled her to support her spirits for Mrs Shirley and Mrs Selby had always applauded the preference their beloved child was so ready to give to Clementina because of her malady tho it is evident, against their wishes There never were three nobler women related to each other than Mrs Shirley Mrs Selby and Miss Byron But Mr Selby is by no means satisfied that my brother loving Harriet as he evidently does should be so ready to leave her and go to Italy His censure arises from his Love to my brother and to his niece But I need not tell you that tho a man
he has not a soul half so capacious as that of either of the three Ladies I have named
At our return from our little walk it was lovely to see Harriet take her Emily aside to comfort her and to plead with her in favour of my brothers obligations as afterwards she did against her uncle How the generous creature shone in my eyes and in those of everyone present
When she and I were alone she took grateful notice of the concluding part of the third Letter where she is mentioned with so much tenderness and in a manner so truly worthy of the character of the politest of men as well respecting herself as her Sex charging himself with vanity and presumption but to suppose to himself that Miss Byron wanted his compassion or had the tender regard for him that he avows for her She pleased herself that he had not seen the very great esteem she had for him as you and I had done And how could he you know said she for he and I were not often together and I was under obligation enough to him to make him attribute my regard to gratitude But it is plain proceeded she that he loves the poor Harriet—Dont you think so and perhaps would have given her a preference to all other women had he not been circumstanced as he was Well God bless him added she he was my first Love and I never will have any other—Dont blame me for this declaration my dear Lady G My Grandmamma as well as you once chid me for saying so and called me romancer—But is not the man Sir Charles Grandison
But alas with all these appearances it is easy to see that this amiable creatures solitary hours are heavy ones She has got a habit of sighing She rises with swelled eyes Sleep forsakes her Her appetite fails And she is very sensible of all this as she shews by the pains she takes to conceal the alteration
And must Harriet Byron blessed with beauty so
unequalled health so blooming a temper so even passions so governable generous and grateful even to heroism—Superior to every woman in frankness of heart in true delicacy and in an understanding and judgment beyond her years—Must she be offered up as a victim on the altar of hopeless Love—I deprecate such a fate—I cannot allow the other Sex such a triumph tho the man be my brother It is however none on the contrary it is apparently a grief to his noble and truly manly heart that so excellent a creature cannot be the sole mistress of it
Mr Deane came hither this morning He is a valuable man He opened his heart to me about an hour ago He always he says designed Miss Byron for the heiress of the principal part of his possessions and he let me know his circumstances which are great It is I am convinced true policy to be good Young and old rich and poor dote upon Miss Byron You remember what her uncle says in his ludicrous Letter to her covertly praising her by pretending to find fault with her that he is more noted for being the uncle of Miss Byron than she is for being his niece tho of so long standing in the county And I assure you he is much respected too But such beauty such affability a character so benevolent so frank so pious yet so chearful and unaffected as hers is must command the veneration and love of every one
Mr Deane is extremely apprehensive of her declineing health He believes her in a consumption and has brought a physician of his intimate acquaintance to visit her But she and we all are convinced that medicine will not reach her case And she affected to be startled at his supposing she was in so bad a way on purpose as she owned to avoid his kind importunity to take advice in a malady that nothing but time and patience can cure
A charming correspondence is carried on between Harriet and the Countess of D Harriet is all frankness
in it so is Lady D One day I hope to procure you a sight of their Letters I am allowed to inclose a copy of the Countesss last You will see the force of the reasoning on Harriets declaration that she will never think of a second Lover Her grandmother is entirely with the Countess So am I—Tho the first was Sir Charles Grandison
What will become of Lady Olivia if the alliance between my brother and the Bologna family take effect—She has her emissaries who I suppose will soon apprise her of it How will she flame out I suppose you who correspond with her will soon be troubled with her invectives on this subject
All here wish for you and Lord L For my part I long to see you both and to be seen by you You never could see me more to my advantage than now We have nothing between us But—
What your Lordship pleases
My dearest life you have no choice
You prevent me my Lord in all my wishes
I have told him in Love of some of his foibles And he thanks me for my instruction and is resolved to be all I wish him to be
I have made discoveries in his favour—More wit more humour more good sense more learning than I had ever till now that I was willing to enquire after those qualities in him imagined he had He allows me to have a vast share of good understanding and so he ought when I have made such discoveries to his advantage
In short we so monstrously improve upon each other that if we go on thus we shall hardly know ourselves to be the same man and woman that made such aukward figures in the eyes of all beholders a few months ago at St Georges church and must be married over again to be sure of each other for you must believe that we would not be the same odd souls we then were on any account
What raises him with me is the good opinion everybody here has of him They also have found him out to be a man of sense, a goodnaturd man nay would you believe it a handsome man and all these people having deservedly the reputation of good sense penetration and soforth I cannot contradict them with credit to myself When we married folks have made a silly choice we should in policy you know for the credit of our judgment try to make the best of it I could name you half a score people who are continually praising the man his wife the woman her husband who were they at liberty to choose again would be hanged before they would renew their bargain
Let me tell you that Emily will make an excellent wife and mistress of a family Miss Byron is one of the best oeconomists and yet one of the finest Ladies in the county As soon as she came down she resumed the family direction in ease of her aunt which was her province before she came to London I thought myself a tolerable manager But she has for ever stopt my mouth on this subject Such a succession of orderliness if I may so call it One right thing is an introduction to another and all is in such a method that it seems impossible for the meanest servants to mistake their duty Such harmony such observance yet such pleasure in every countenance—But she is mistress of so much ease so much dignity and so much condescension that she is worshiped by all the servants and it is observable hardly ever was heard to direct twice the same thing to be done or remembred
The servants have generally time for themselves an hour or two in a day Her orders are given over night and as the family live in a genteel manner they are never surprised or put out of course by company The poor only have the less of the remnants if visiters or guests come in unexpectedly and in
such case she says they shall fare better another day Emily is taking minutes of all her management She is resolved to imitate her in everything Hence it is that I say the girl will make one of the best wives in England Yet how the dear Harriet manages it I cannot tell for we hardly ever miss her But early hours and method and ease without hurry will do everything
POSTSCRIPT
LORD bless me my dear Lady L I have been frightened out of my wits This Lord G—What do we do by marriage but double our cares—He was taken very ill two hours ago a kind of fit The first reflexion that crossed me when he was at worst was this—What a wretch was I to vex this poor man as I have done—Happy happy is the wife in the depth of her affliction on the loss of a worthy husband happy the husband if he must be separated from a good wife who has no material cause for selfreproach to imbitter reflexion as to his or her conduct to the departed Ah Caroline how little do we know of ourselves till the hour of trial comes I find I find I have more Love for Lord G than I thought I had or could have for any man
How have I exposed myself—But they none of them upbraid me with my apprehensions for the honest man He did fright me—A wretch—In his childhood he was troubled with these oddities it seems—He is so well that I had a good mind to quarrel with him for terrifying me as he did For better and for worse—A cheat—He should have told me that he had been subject to such an infirmity—And then from his apprehended fits tho involuntary I should have claimed allowance for my real tho wilful ones In which however I cheated not him He saw me in them many and many a good time before marriage
I have this moment yours I thought what would be the case with Olivia She has certainly heard of the happy turn at Bologna or she would not think of leaving England so soon when she had resolved to stay here till my brothers return Unhappy woman Harriet pities her—But she has pity for every one that wants it
Repeatedly all here are earnest to get you and your Lord with us Do come if you can—Were it but for one week and perhaps we will go up together If you dont come soon your folks will not suffer you to come one while After all my dear these men are as aunt Nell would say odious creatures You are a good forgiving soul but that am not I In a few months time I shall be as grave as a cat I suppose But the sorry fellow knows nothing of the matter as yet
Adieu Lady L
Inclosed in the preceding
July 1
MY dear Harriet has allowed me to write to her with the affectionate freedom of a mother As such I may go on to urge a subject disagreeable to her when not only the welfare of both my children is concerned in it but when her own honour her own delicacy of sentiment is peculiarly interested
Pure and noble as your heart is it is misleading you my Love Oh my Harriet into what a labyrinth—Have you kept a copy my dear of your last Letter to me It is all amiable all yourself—But it is Harriet Byron again in need of a rescuer—Shall I my child save you from being run away with by these tyrannous overrefinements Yes you will say could I do it
disinterestedly Well I will if I can imagine myself quite disinterested suppose my son out of the case And since I have told you more than once that I cannot allow the sacredness young people are apt to imagine in a first Love I must you know take it for granted that even his to you is not absolutely unconquerable
Let us then consider a little the bright fairy schemes for so I must call them which you have formed in the Letter that lies before me a Do not your excellent grandmamma and aunt see them in the same light I dare say they do But to one I love so dearly how can I omit to offer my hand to extricate her out of a maze of bewildering fancy in which she may else tread many a weary step that ought to be advancing forward in the paths of happiness and duty
Think but my dear child what fortitude of soul what strength even of constitution you answer for when you talk of living happy in friendship with two persons when they are united by indissoluble ties the very thought of whose union makes your cheek fade and your health languish Ah my beloved Harriet is not this a fairyscheme
Mistake me not my love I suspect not that your sentiments would want any-thing of the purity the generosity the true heroism required in the idea of a friendship like that you talk of I suspect not in the noble pair Does that phrase hurt you my Miss Byron Think then how your heart would suffer in the lasting conflict that must accompany the situation which you have proposed to yourself I suspect not in either of them sentiments or behaviour unsuitable to your excellence Yet let me ask you one thing Would not the example of such an attachment subsisting between persons known to have once had different views and tenderer affections mislead less delicate and less guarded minds into allowances dangerous
to them and subject souls less great than Clementina to jealousies whether warrantable or not of friendships that should plead yours for a president
Do not be impatient my dear I have a great deal more to say This friendship what is it to be Not more than friendship disguised under the name of it For how can that consist with your peace of mind your submission to the dictates of reason, your resignation to the will of Providence If then it be only friendship how is it inconsistent with your forming an attachment of a nearer kind with a person of merit who approves of and will join in it What think you my dear is that Love which we vow at the altar Surely not adoration Not a preference of that object absolutely as in excellence superior to every other imaginable being No more surely in most cases than such a preferable choice all circumstances considered) as shall make us with satisfaction of mind and with an affectionate and faithful heart unite ourselves for life with a man whom we esteem who we think is no disagreeable companion but deserves our grateful regard that his interest from henceforth should be our own and his happiness our study And is not this very consistent my dear with admiring and loving the excellence of angels and even with seeing and pitying in this partner of our lives such imperfections as make him evidently their inferior Inferior even to such human angels as you and I have in our heads at this moment
Observe my dear I say only that such friendship is very consistent with being more nearly united to one who knows and approves it For concealment of any thought that much affects the heart is I think in such a case with very few exceptions from very particular circumstances utterly unallowable and blameably indelicate
You are my dear I will not offend you by saying to what degree a reasonable and prudent young woman
pious dutiful and benevolent Consider then how much better you would account for the talents committed to you how much more joy you would give to the best of friends how much more good you would do to your fellowcreatures by permitting yourself to be called out into active life with all its variety of relations than you can while you continue obstinately in a single state on purpose to indulge a remediless sorrow The domestic connexions would engage you in a thousand not unpleasing new cares and attentions that must inevitably wear out in time impressions which you would feel it unfit to indulge All that is generous grateful reasonable in your very just attachment would remain everything that passion and imagination have added every unreasonable every painful emotion would be banished and the friendship between the two families become a source of lasting happiness to both
Adieu my Harriet I am afraid of being tedious on an unpleasing subject If I have omitted anything material in this argument the excellent parents you are with can abundantly supply it from their own reason and experience of the world Assure them of my unfeigned regard and believe me my dear child with a degree of esteem that no young creature ever merited half so well
Your trulyaffectionate M D
Pinned on by Lady G
DONT you think Lady L that the contents of this Letter ought to have the more weight with Harriet as were she to be Lady Grandison they would suit her own case and Emilys were Emily to make the same pretensions to a perpetual single life on the improbability of marrying her first Love I shall freely speak my mind upon this subject when Harriet can better bear the argument
My dear Daughter
Tuesday Aug 1
LET me be excused for asking you a question by pen and ink When do you think of returning from Northamptonshire Lady Gertrude and I are out of all patience with you not with Lord G We know that whereever you are there will he wish to be His treasure and his heart must be together But to me who always loved my son to Lady Gertrude who always loved her nephew and who equally rejoiced in the happy event that gave me a daughter and her a niece what can you say in excuse for robbing us of both It is true Miss Byron is a Lady that ought to be half the world to you But must the other half have no manner of regard paid to it I have enquired of Lord and Lady L but they say you are so far from setting your time for return that you are pressing them to go down to you What can my daughter mean by this Have you taken a house in Northamptonshire Have you forgot that you have taken one in Grosvenor Square Everything is done there that you had ordered to be done and all are at a stand for further directions Let me tell you Lady G that my sister and I love you both too well to bear to be thus slighted Love us but half as well and you will tell us the day of your return You dont consider that we are both in years and that in all probability you may often rejoice in the company you are with when you cannot have ours Excuse this serious conclusion I am serious upon the subject—And why Because I love you with a tenderness truly paternal Pray make mine and my sisters compliments acceptable to the loveliest woman in England and to every one whom she loves who
are now in Northamptonshire I am my dearest daughter
Your everaffectionate G
Selbyhouse Aug 4
O My dear Lord what do you mean Are you and Lady Gertrude really angry with me I cannot bear the serious conclusion of your Letter May you both live long and be happy If my affectionate duty to you both will contribute to your felicity it shall not be wanting I was so happy here that I knew not when I should have returned to town had you not so kindly as to your intention yet so severely in your expressions admonished me I will soon throw myself at your feet and by the next post will fix the day on which I hope to be forgiven by you both Let Lord G answer for himself Upon my word he is as much to blame as I am nay more for he dotes upon Miss Byron
Duty I avow Pardon I beg Never more my dear and honoured Lord shall you have like reason to chide
Your everdutiful Daughter Nor you my dear Lady Gertrude Your most obedient Kinswoman CHARLOTTE G
London Sat Aug 5
THANK you my reverend and dear Mrs Shirley Mrs Selby and Harriet the lovely and beloved
Thank you my dear Lucy and Nancy Selby and Kitty and Patty Holles and good Miss Orme and you my dear disputatious uncle Selby and honest cousin James and all the rest of you for your particular graces favours civilities and goodness superabundant to my bustling Lord and his lively Dame Let the good Doctor and Emily thank you for themselves
And who do you think met us at St Albans—Why Beauchamp Sir Harry and my Lady and Mr and Mrs Reeves
Poor Sir Harry He is in a very bad way and Lady Beauchamp and his son who peradventure had a reason he gave not prevailed upon him to make this little excursion in hopes it would divert him They had not for some weeks past seen him so chearful as we made him
Aunt Nell met us at Barnet with Cicely Badger her still older woman whom she keeps about her to make herself look young on comparison—But a piece of bad news Harriet Our aunt Nell has lost two more of her upper foreteeth A vile bit of bone O how she execrates it which lurked in a fricasee did the irreparable mischief And the good old soul is teaching her upperlip when she speaks to resign all motion to the under one that it may as little as possible make the defect visible What poor wretches are we Harriet men as well as women We pray for long life and what is the issue of our prayers but leave to outlive our teeth and our friends to stand in the way of our elbowing relations and to change our swanskins for skins of buff which nevertheless will keep out neither cold nor infirmity But I shall be serious byandby And what is the design of my penprattle but to make my sweet Harriet smile
The Earl and Lady Gertrude made up differences with me at first sight The Lady is a little upon the fallal a little aunt Nellish but I protest I love her and reverence her brother
Beauchamp is certainly in Love with Emily When he first addressed her at St Albans his hands trembled his cheeks glowed his tongue faltered—So young a gipsey to make a conquest of such importance We women are powerful creatures Harriet As they say of horses If we knew our own strength and could have a little more patience than we generally have we might do what we would with the powerless Lords of the creation In my conscience Harriet look all my acquaintance through of both Sexes I think there are three silly fellows to one silly woman Dont you think so in yours—Are your Grevilles your Fenwicks your Ormes your Fowlers your Pollexfens your Bagenhalls and half a score more I could name to be put in competition with Mrs Shirley Mrs Selby Lady D our Lucy Nancy Miss Orme the two Miss Holless—Let uncle Selby and cousin James determine on the question
I am half in hopes that the little rogue Emily will draw herself in Beauchamp is modest yet not sheepish he is prudent manly lively has address He will certainly draw her in before she knows where she is And how Why by praising sincerely and loving cordially the man at present most dear to her When he first addressed her at St Albans O Mr Beauchamp said she with an innocent freedom not regarding his tremblings his glow and his falterings I am glad to see you I long to have you entertain me with stories of my guardian But ah Sir speaking lower and with a fallen countenance tears ready to start Whose whose is he by this time Yet if you know it dont tell me It must not must not be
The praises given to those we really love I believe are more grateful to us than those conferred on ourselves I will tell you how I account for this in general cases my brother out of the question—We doubt not our own merits but may be afraid that
the favoured object will not be considered by others as we are willing to consider him But if he is we take the praise given him as a compliment to our own judgment Selflove selflove at the bottom of all we say and do I am convinced it is notwithstanding all you have urged to the contrary Generally you know I said Do you think I will allow you to judge of the generality of the world by what you find in one of the best hearts in it
An instance in point—I remember a Miss Hurste a sweet pretty creature and very sensible She had from her chamberwindow been shot through the heart by the blind archer who took his stand on the feather of a military man marching at the head of his company through the markettown in which she lived Yet was her susceptibility her only inducement for the man was neither handsome in his person nor genteel in his appearance Nor could she be in Love with the sense of a man had he been a Solomon whose mouth she never saw opened and to whose character she was as much a stranger as he was to hers or her person till she contrived to have him made acquainted with his good fortune Constant however to her first foolish impression she in opposition to all advice and the expostulations of a tender and indulgent mother married him A Solomon he was not And when he at any time by virtue of his relation to her was introduced into her family how would she blush whenever he opened his mouth And how did her eyes sparkle with gratitude upon any one who took the least respectful notice of him Compliments to herself were unheeded but she seemed ready to throw herself at the feet of those who smiled upon and directed themselves to her Captain Poor girl she wanted to give credit to the motive by which she had been acted
Now Harriet I charge you that you think not that this mans name was Anderson Somebody met
with an escape Yet nowandthen I blush for Somebody Yet between this Somebody and Miss Hurstes cases there was this difference—A fathers apprehended—Tyranny—shall I call it impressing the one a tindery fit the other In the one a timely recovery in the other the first folly deliberately confirmed
Dear dear Harriet let me make you smile—I protest if you wont I will talk of Lord D and then I know you will frown
The excellent Lady of that name has already been to welcome us to town She absolutely dotes upon you so she says does the young Earl She prays day and night she tells me that my brother may soon come to England his Italian bride in his hand She expects every post to hear from Sir Arthur Brandon who has carried a Letter from her and another from the Earl of N recommending that promising young gentleman to my brothers favour on his visiting Italy She hopes my brother will not take amiss her freedom at so short an acquaintance If Sir Arthur sends her such news as she wishes and we dread to hear away drives she to Northamptonshire—And should she I dont know who will scruple to wish her success for her young man rises every day in his character My dear creature you must you shall be in our row and Lady Ds last Letter to you is unanswerable Forgive me for touching upon this subject But we have no hopes You have nothing to fear since you expect what the next mails will bring And who of us after all have our first Love Aunt Nell would not have descended sola into her greys nor Cicely Badger neither if they might have obtained the men of their choice—Poor aunt Nell she has been telling me her taken off spectacles in her fingers of a disappointment of this kind in her youth with such woeful earnestness that it made me ready to cry for her She lays it at the door of her brother
my poor father and now will you wonder that to this hour she cannot speak of him with patience—Poor aunt Nell
Well but how do you my Love For Heavens sake be well Could I make you speak out could I make you complain I should have some hope of you But so sorrowful when alone as we plainly see yet aiming to be so chearful in company—O my dear you must be gluttonous of grief in your solitary hours But what tho the man be Sir Charles Grandison Is not the woman Harriet Byron
Lady L tells me that Olivia behaved like a distracted woman when she took leave of her on her setting out to return to Italy She sometimes wept sometimes raved and threatned Wretched woman Surely she will not attempt the life of the man she so ungovernably loves Our case Harriet is not so hard as hers But she will sooner get over her talkative than you will your silent Love When a person can rave the passion is not dangerous If the head be safe pride and supposed slight will in time harden the heart of such a one and her Love will be swallowed up by resentment
You complimented me on my civility to my good man all the time we were with you Indeed I was very civil to him It is now become a habit and I verily think that it looks well in man and wife to behave prettily to each other before company I nowandthen however sit down with a full design to make him look about him but he is so obliging that I am constrained against my intention to let the fit go off without making him very serious
Am I conceited Harriet Which of the two silly folks do you think has most Not wit—Wit is a foolish thing but understanding I think the woman has it all to nothing—Now dont mortify me If you pretend to doubt I will be sure Upon my word my dear I am an excellent creature so thinking so
assured to behave so obligingly as I do to Lord G Never never unless a woman has as much prudence as your Charlette let her wed a man who has less understanding than herself But women marry not so much nowadays for Love or fitness of tempers as for the liberty of gadding abroad with less censure and less controul—And yet now I think of it we need only to take a survey of the flocks of single women which croud to Ranelagh and Vauxhall markets dressed out to be cheapened not purchased to be convinced that the maids are as much above either shame or controul as the wives But were not fathers desirous to get the drugs off their hands to express myself in young Danbys saucy stile these freedoms would not be permitted As for mothers many of them are for escorting their daughters to public places because they themselves like racketing
But how Charlotte methinks you ask do these reflexions on your own Sex square with what you said above of the preference of women to men—How Ill tell you The men who frequent those places are still more silly than we Is it their interest to join in this almost universal dissipation And would the women croud to market if there were not men
We are entered into our new house It is furnished in taste Lord G has wanted but very little of my correction I do assure you in the disposition of everything He begins to want employment Have you Harriet any-thing to busy him in—I am not willing to teach him to knot Poor man He has already knit one that he cannot unty
God bless the honest Soul He came to me just now so prim and so pleased—A Parrot and Paroquet—The Parrot is the finest talker He had great difficulty he said in getting them He had observed that I was much taken with Lady Finlays Parrot Lady Finlay had a Marmouset too I wonder the poor man did not bring me a Monkey O but
youll say That was needless—You are very smart Harriet upon my man I wont allow anybody but myself to abuse him
Intolerable levity Charlotte—And so it is But to whom Only to you I love the man better every day than the former. When I write of him thus saucily it is in the gaiety of my heart But if instead of a smile I have drawn upon myself your contempt what a mortification however deserved will that be to
Your CHARLOTTE G
Selbyhouse Friday June 24
YOU write my dear Lady G with intent to make me smile I thank you for your intention It is not wholly lost My friends and I are one and my uncle and cousin James laughed out at several places in your lively Letter Lucy Nancy smiled My cousins Kitty and Patty Holles said You were a charming Lady But shall I tell you what my grandmamma and aunt said—I will not—Now will your curiosity be excited—To say the truth they spoke not they only shook their heads I saw my dear greatly as they love and admire you that if they had smiled it would have been at not with the poor Charlotte Let me pity you my dear who in some places of her Letter could sport with the infirmities of age to which we are all advancing and even wish to arrive at and in others treat lightly a man to whom she owes respect and has vowed duty and who almost adores her
You ask my dear which of a certain pair has most understanding And you bid me not mortify you with giving it on the mans side I will not
Lord G is far from being wanting in understanding but Lady G has undoubtedly more than thousands even of sensible women But in her treatment of certain subjects she by no means shews it Theres for you my dear I hope you will be angry with your Harriet You ought to take one of us to task Methinks I would not have you be angry with yourself
But my dear I am not well This therefore may make me the less capable of relishing your raillery These men vex me Grevilles obstinate perseverance and so near a neighbour that I cannot avoid seeing him often Poor Mr Ormes ill health Another Letter from Sir Rowland Meredith its contents so extremely kind and generous that they afflict me—Lady D urging me I am afraid I must say with such strength of reason, and with an affection so truly maternal that I know not how to answer her And just now I have received a Letter unknown to that good Lady from the Earl of D—laying in a claim on a certain supposition that—O my dear how cruel is all this to your Harriet My grandmamma by her eyes I see wishes me to think of marriage and with Lord D—as all thoughts—I need not say of what are over—My aunt Selbys eyes are ready to second my grandmammas—My uncle speaks out on the same side of the question So do you So does Lucy Nancy is silent She sees my disturbance when I am looked at and talked to on this subject So ought Lucy I think Sir Rowland says Mr Fowler has almost pined himself to death—My Soul my dear is fretted I have begged leave to pass a fortnight or three weeks with my good Mr Deane who rejoiced at the motion but my grandmother heard my request with tears She could not spare her Harriet she told me My aunt also dried her eyes—How my Charlotte could I think of leaving them—Yet could they have parted with me I should surely have been more composed with Mr Deane than at present
I can be anywhere else He is more delicate Shall I be excused to say than my uncle
Were but the news come that the solemnity is over—I am greatly mistaken in myself if I should not be more easy than I am at present—But then I should be more teazed more importuned than before You tell me the Countess of D would come down The very thought of that visit hurts me
I have no doubt but by this time the knot is tied God Almighty shower on the heads of both the choicest of his blessings I should be quite out of humour with myself if I were not able to offer up this prayer as often as I pray for myself
I beg of you my dear to speed to me the next Letters from Italy be the contents what they will You know I am armed Shall the event I wish to be over either surprise or grieve me I hope not
I will not pity Lady Olivia because she threatned and raved True Love rages not threatens not Yet a disappointment in Love is a dreadful thing and may operate in different minds different ways as I have read somewhere
I shall write to all my friends in town and at Colnebrooke I trouble you not therefore with particular compliments to them
How could you mention the names of Mr and Mrs Reeves and say no more of them I thought you loved them both They are deserving of your love and love you
Never I believe did any young creature suffer in her mind by suspense as I have done for some months past In the present situation of things I know not what further to write What can I my Charlotte—Conjectural topics are reserved for my closet and pillow
Adieu and adieu my beloved friend my dear Lady G Be good and he happy What a blessing that both are in your power May they ever be
so And may you make a good use of that power prays
Your HARRIET BYRON
Bologna June 819
MY heart is unusually sad How imperfect is that happiness which we cannot enjoy without giving pain to another The Count of Belvedere has been made acquainted with the hopeful turn in the mind of Clementina and that in all probability she will be given as a reward to the man to whose friendly cares for her and her brother the whole family attribute the happy alteration and late last night he gave me notice of his arrival in this city and of his intention to pay me an early visit this morning
I have just now had a message from Clementina by Camilla with a request that I will suspend my intended visit till the afternoon
I asked Camilla If she knew the reason of this and of her being so early dispatched with it She said It was her young Ladys own order without consulting anybody The Marchioness said she yesterday in the afternoon told her that everything was now absolutely determined upon between them and me and she would be mistress of her own wishes and that I should be allowed to attend her in the morning at breakfast to know what those were Her young Lady on this happy communication so Camilla called it threw herself at her mothers feet and in a very graceful manner acknowleged her fathers and her indulgence to her and from that hour her temper took a turn different from what it had been before For ever since said Camilla she has been silent solemn and reserved yet busy at her pen transcribing
fair from her pocketbook what she had written in it Tomorrow Camilla—Tomorrow said she breaking once her solemn silence her complexion varying will be a day indeed O that it were come and yet I dread it How shall I face to face converse with this exalted man What shall I do to appear as great as He His goodness fires me with emulation—O that tomorrow were come and gone
This was over night I believe proceeded Camilla that the dear Lady is drawing up some conditions of her own for you to sign But Sir I dare say by the hint she has thrown out they will be generous ones and what will have more of fancy than hardship in them
I had much ado to prevail upon her continued her faithful woman to go to rest at midnight Yet at four in the morning she arose and went to her pen and ink and about Six commanded me to call Laura to attend her while I went to you with the message I have brought I expostulated with her and begged she would delay it till the Marchioness arose but she began to be impatient I have reason in my request Camilla said she I must not be contradicted or expostulated with My head will not bear opposition at this time Is it a slight thing for such a poor creature as I have been and am to be put out of her course Am I not to have a meeting with the Chevalier Grandison on the most important act of my life My mamma tells me that I am to be now mistress of my own will Dont you Camilla seek to controul me I shall not be prepared enough for the subject he will possibly talk to me upon till the afternoon And if I know he is in the house with an expectation of seeing me I shall want the presence of mind I am struggling to obtain
So Sir concluded Camilla I have performed my duty The dear Lady I see will be in too much confusion if the important subject be not begun with
precaution But who shall instruct you in such delicate points as these One thing however permit me Sir to observe I have often known young Ladies go on courageously with a Lover while the end in view has been distant or there have been difficulties to encounter with but when these difficulties are overcome and they have ascended the hill they toiled up they have turned round and looked about them with fear as strong as their hopes
What the conditions may be—
But the Count of Belvedere is come
Ten oclock
THE Count accosted me in return for the kindest reception I could give him with an air of coldness and displeasure I was surprised at a behaviour so different from his usual politeness and the kindness he had ever shewn me I took notice to him of it He asked me If I would tell him faithfully what my present situation was with Lady Clementina
I will my Lord if I tell you any-thing of it But the temper of mind you seem to be in may not perhaps for your own sake any more than mine make it prudent for me to comply with your expectations
You need not give me any other answer replied he You seem to be sure of the Lady But she must not she shall not be yours while I am living
It is not for me my Lord who have met with many amazing turns and incidents which I have not either invited or provoked to be surprised at any-thing: But if your Lordship has any expectations any demands to make on this subject it must be from the family of the Marchese della Porretta and not from me
Do you think Sir that I feel not the sting of this reference And yet all the family but one are in my interest in their hearts every consideration is on my side not one but the plausibility of your generosity
and the speciousness of your person and manners on yours
A man my Lord should not be reproached for qualities upon which whether he has them or not he values not himself But let me ask you Were my pretensions out of the question has your Lordship any hope of an interest in the affections of Lady Clementina
While she is unmarried I may hope Had you not come over to us I make no doubt but I might in time have called her mine You cannot but know that her absence of mind was no obstacle with me
I am wholly satisfied in my own conduct replied I That my Lord is a great point with me I am not accountable for it to any man on earth Yet if you have any doubts about it propose them I have a high opinion of the Count of Belvedere and wish to have him think well of me
Tell me Chevalier what your present situation is with Lady Clementina What is concluded upon between the family and you And whether Clementina herself has declared for you
She has not yet declared herself to me I repeat that I have a value for the Count of Belvedere and will therefore acquaint him with more than he has reason to expect from the humour which seems to have governed him in this visit—I am to attend her this afternoon by appointment Her family and I understand one another. I have been willing to consider the natural impulses of a spirit so pure tho disturbed as the finger of Providence I have hitherto been absolutely passive In honour I cannot now be so This afternoon my Lord—
This afternoon
trembling What this afternoon—
Will my destiny as to Lady Clementina be determined.
I am distracted If her friends are determined in
your favour it is from necessity rather than choice But if the Lady is left to her own determination I am a lost man
You have given a reason my Lord for your acquiescence should Lady Clementina determine in my favour—But it cannot be a happy circumstance for me if as you hint I am to enter into the family of Porretta as an unwelcome relation to any of them and still less if my good fortune shall make a man justly valued by all who know him unhappy
And are you this afternoon Chevalier to see Clementina for the purpose you intimate This very afternoon—And are you then to change your passive conduct towards her And will you court will you urge her to consent to be yours Religion Country—Let me tell you Sir—I must take resolutions With infinite regret I tell you that I must You will not refuse to meet me The consent is not yet given You shall not rob Italy of such a prize Favour me Sir this moment without the citygates
Unhappy man How much I pity you You know my principles It is hard acting as I have done to be thus invited Acquaint yourself with my whole conduct in this affair from the Bishop from Father Marescotti from the General himself so much always your friend and once so little mine What has influenced them so much as you seem to think against their inclinations cannot want its influence upon a mind so noble as that of the Count of Belvedere But whatever be your resolutions upon the enquiries I wish you to make I tell you beforehand that I never will meet you but as my friend
He turned from me with emotion He walked about the room as a man irresolute and at last with a wildness in his air approached me—I will go this instant said he to the family I will see Father Marescotti and the Bishop and I will let them know my despair And if I cannot have hope given me—O Chevalier
once more I say that Lady Clementina shall not be yours while I live
He looked round him as if he would not have anybody hear what he was going to say but me tho no one was near and whispering It is better said he to die by your hand than—He stopt and in disorder hurried from me and was out of sight when I got down to the door
The Count when he came up to me left his valet below who told Saunders that Lady Sforza had made his Lord a visit at Parma and by something she related to him had stimulated him to make this to me He added that he was very apprehensive of the humour he came in and which he had held ever since he saw Lady Sforza
How my dear Dr Bartlett do the rash escape as they do when I who endeavour to avoid embarrassments and am not ready either to give or take offence am hardly able to extricate myself from one difficulty but I find myself involved in another What cannot a woman do when she resolves to make mischief among friends Lady Sforza is a highspirited and contriving woman It is not for her interest that Clementina should marry at all But yet as the Count of Belvedere is a cool a dispassionate man and knows the views of that Lady I cannot but wonder what those arts must be by which she has been able to excite in so calm a breast a flame so vehement
I am now hastening to the palace of Porretta my heart not a little affected with the apprehensions given me by Camillas account of her young Ladys solemn yet active turn on the expected visit For does it not indicate an imagination too much raised for the occasion important as that is and that her disorder is far from subsiding
Bologna Sat Evening
I Sit down now my dear and reverend friend to write to you particulars which will surprise you Clementina is the noblest woman on earth What at last—But I find I must have a quieter heart and fingers too before I can proceed
I THINK I am a little less agitated than I was The above few lines shall go for they will express to you the emotions of my mind when I attempted to write an account of what had then so newly passed
As soon as I entered the palace Camilla met me and conducted me to the Marchioness The Marquis and the Bishop were with her O Chevalier said she we have been greatly disturbed by a visit from the Count of Belvedere Poor man—He says he waited on you at your lodgings
He did I then at the Bishops request told them all that had passed between us except his last words which implied that it was better to die by the hand of another man than by his own
They expressed their concern for him and their apprehensions for me but I found that his unexpected visit had not altered their purpose in my favour They were convinced they told him that the restoration of their daughters tranquillity of mind depended upon giving her entirely her own way and not one word more of opposition or contradiction should she meet with from them
I have been hindered said the Marchioness by this unhappy mans visit and his vehemence which moved me to pity him for I am afraid that he will be in our daughters unhappy way from watching in
person the humour of my child which two hours ago Camilla told me was very particular I was going to her when you came but I will send for Camilla—She did
As soon as she saw me in the morning continued the Marchioness she apologized to me for sending Camilla to you to suspend your visit till the afternoon She was not she said prepared to see you—I asked her continued she What preparation was wanted to see a man esteemed by us all and who had given such instances of his regard to her
Madam answered she and seemed as if gasping for breath Am I not now to see him in a light in which hitherto I never beheld him I have a thousand things to say to him none of which perhaps I shall be able to say except he draws them from me He hinted once very lately that he could only be rewarded by a family act We cannot reward him that is my grief I must see him with a heart overwhelmed with obligation He will appear as a prince to me I must to myself as his vassal I have been putting down in writing what I should say to him but I cannot please myself O madam he is great in my eyes because I am unable to reward him as he deserves I told her that her fortune her quality the sacrifice she would make of her Country tho never I hoped of her Religion ought to give her a higher opinion of herself tho all these were far from cancelling the obligation we all were under to him on our Jeronymos account as well as on hers
Well madam replied she Heaven only knows how I shall be able to behave to him now you have left every thing to myself and how he will talk to me by permission on a subject so new yet so very interesting O that this day were over
I asked her proceeded the Marchioness if she would yet take further time—A week or more
O no said she That must not be I shall be
prepared to see him I hope by the afternoon Pray let him come then I am very clear now putting her hand to her forehead I may not be so a week nor a day hence
Camilla then entered the room Camilla said the Marchioness In what way is the dear creature now
Ever since your Ladyship left her she has been more reserved and thoughtful yet her spirits are high Her mind seems full of the Chevaliers next visit and twice within this halfhour she asked if he were come She reads over and over something she has written lays it down takes it up walks about the room sometimes with an air of dignity at others hanging down her head I dont like her frequent startings Within this hour she has several times shed tears She sighs often She was not to be pleased with her dress Once she would be in black then in colours then her white and silver was taken out But that she said would give her a bridal appearance She at last chose her plain white satten She looks like an Angel But O that her eyes and her motions shewed greater composure
You have a task before you Chevalier said the Bishop What tokens are these of a disordered yet a raised mind We may see from these extraordinary agitations on the expectation of a conversation that is to end in her consent to crown your wishes how much her heart has been in that event May it be happy to you both
I fear nothing said the Marchioness as to the happiness of my child that lies within the power of the Chevalier I am sure of his tenderness to her
I think said the Marquis we will allow the Chevalier to carry his bride over to England for the first six months and return with her to us in the second It may give a new turn to the course of her ideas The same places the same persons always in view may sadden her reflecting heart And besides the
mind of the poor Count of Belvedere may be strengthened by this absence
The Bishop applauded this thought The Marchioness said Reason may approve the motion but can the mother so soon part with her child—Yet for her happiness I must submit
Let us said the Marquis leave this to her choice as the rest Camilla let my daughter know that the Chevalier attends her pleasure You would have it so Chevalier
I bowed my assent
Camilla returned not presently When she did I could not come sooner said she My young Lady is strangely fluttered I have been reasoning with her—Madam turning to the Marchioness Will you be pleased to walk up to her
Had this been the first interview said the Bishop I should not have wondered at her discomposure But this disorder shews itself in a strange variety of shapes
The Marchioness attended by Camilla went up I was soon sent for The Marchioness met me at the entrance of the young Ladys dressingroom—and retiring whispered—I believe she had rather be alone with you Dear creature I dont know what to make of her She has I fansy something to propose to you Camilla come with me We will be but in the next room Chevalier
When I entered the room the young Lady was sitting in a pensive mood at her toilette her hand supporting her head A fine glow overspread her cheeks as soon as she saw me She arose and courtesying low advanced a few steps towards me but trembled and looked now down now aside and now consciously glancing towards me
I approached her and with profound respect took her hand with both mine and pressed it with my lips I address not myself now to Lady Clementina as my
pupil I have leave given me to look upon her in a nearer light and she will have the goodness to pardon the freedom of this address
Ah Chevalier said she turning her face from me but not withdrawing her hand—And hesitating as if not knowing how to speak her mind sighed and was silent
I led her to her chair She sat down still trembling God be praised said I bowing my face on both her hands as I held them in mine for the amended health of the Lady so dear to all who have the happiness of knowing her May her recovery and that of our dear Jeronymo be perfected
Happy man said she happy in the power given you to oblige as you have done—But how how shall I—O Sir you know not the conflict that has rent my heart in pieces ever since—I forget when—O Chevalier I have not power—She stopt wept and remained silent
It is in your power madam to make happy the man to whom you own obligations which are already overpaid
I took my seat by her at her silent motion to a chair
Speak on Sir My Soul is labouring with great purposes Tell me tell me all you have to say to me My heart is too big for its prison putting her hand to it It wants room methinks yet utterance is denied me—Speak and let me be silent
Your Father Mother Brothers Uncle are all of one mind I am permitted to open my heart to their Clementina and I promise myself a gracious audience Father Marescotti befriends me—The terms madam are those I offered when I was last in Italy
She hung down her head in listening silence—
Every other year I am to be happy with my Clementina in England—
Your Clementina Sir—Ah Chevalier—She
blushed and turned away her face—Your Clementina Sir repeated she—and looked pleased yet a tear stole down on her glowing cheek
Yes madam I am encouraged to hope you will be mine—You are to have your confessor madam Father Marescotti will do me the honour of attending you in that function His piety his zeal my own charity for all those who differ from me in opinion my honour so solemnly engaged to the family who condescend to entrust me with their dearest pledge will be your security
Ah Sir interrupted she And are not you then to be a Catholic
You consented madam when I was last in Italy that I should pursue the dictates of my conscience
Did I said she and sighed—Well Sir—
Your father or mother madam will acquaint you with every other particular in which you shall want to be satisfied
Tears stood in her eyes she seemed in great perplexity She would twice or thrice have spoken but speech was denied her At last she gave me her hand and directed her steps trembling to her closet She entered it Leave me leave me said she and putting a paper in my hand and shutting to the door instantly as I saw fell on her knees and I to avoid hearing sobs which pierced my heart went into the next apartment where were her mother and Camilla who had heard part of what had passed between us The Marchioness went to her but presently returning The dear creature said she is quite sensible thank God tho in grief She besought me to leave her to her own struggles If she could but be assured that you Chevalier would forgive her she should be better She had given you a paper Let him read it said she and let me stay here till he sends for me if he can bear in his sight after he has read it a creature unworthy of his goodness—What said the Marchioness can be the meaning of all this
I was as much surprised as she I had not opened the paper and offered to read it in her presence but she desired to hear it read in her Lords if it were proper and precipitately withdrew leaving me in the young Ladys dressingroom Camilla attending in the next apartment to wait her commands I was astonished at the contents These are they a
O Thou whom my heart best loveth forgive me—Forgive me said I for what—For acting if I am enabled to act greatly The example is from thee who in my eyes art the greatest of human creatures My duty calls upon me one way My heart resists my duty and tempts me not to perform it Do thou O God support me in the arduous struggle Let it not as once before overthrow my reason my but justreturning reason—O God do thou support me and strengthen my reason My effort is great It is worthy of the creature which thou Clementina didst always aspire to be
My Tutor my Brother my Friend O most beloved and best of men seek me not in marriage I am unworthy of Thee Thy SOUL was ever most dear to Clementina Whenever I meditated the gracefulness of thy person I restrained my eye I checked my fancy And how Why by meditating the superior graces of thy mind And is not that SOUL thought I to be saved Dear obstinate and perverse And shall I bind my Soul to a Soul allied to perdition That so dearly loves that Soul as hardly to wish to be separated from it in its future lot—O thou most amiable of men How can I be sure that were I thine thou wouldst not draw me after thee by Love by sweetness of Manners by condescending Goodness I who once thought a Heretic the worst of beings have been already led by the amiableness of thy piety by the universality of thy charity to all thy
fellowcreatures to think more favourably of all Heretics for thy sake Of what force would be the admonitions of the most pious Confessor were thy condescending goodness and sweet persuasion to be exerted to melt a heart wholly thine I know that I should not forbear arguing with thee in hopes to convince thee Yet sensible of thy superior powers and of my duty might I not be entangled My Confessor would in that case grow uneasy with me Women love not to be suspected Opposition arises from suspicion and contradiction thy Love thy Gentleness thrown in the other scale should I not be lost
And what have my Father my Mother my Brothers done that I should shew myself willing to leave them and a beloved Country for a Country but lately hated too as well as the Religion But now that that hatred is gone off and so soon gives another instance of my weakness and thy strength O most amiable of men—O thou whom my Soul loveth seek not to entangle me by thy Love Were I to be thine my duty to thee would mislead me from that I owe to my God and make me more than temporarily unhappy Since wert thou to convince me at the time my doubts would return and whenever thou wert absent I should be doubly miserable For canst Thou can I be indifferent in these high matters Hast thou not shewn me that thou canst not And shall I not be benefited by thy example Shall a wrong Religion have a force an efficacy upon thee which a right one cannot have upon me—O thou most amiable of men seek not to entangle me by thy Love
But dost thou indeed love me Or is it owing to thy generosity thy compassion thy nobleness for a creature who aiming to be great like thee could not sustain the effort I call upon thee blessed Virgin to witness how I formerly struggled with myself How much I endeavoured to subdue that affection which I
ever must bear to him—Permit me most generous of men to subdue it It is in thy p wer to hold me fast or to set me free I know thou lovest Clementina It is her pride to think that thou dost But she is not worthy of thee Yet let thy heart own that thou lovest her Soul her immortal Soul and her future peace In that wilt thou shew thy Love as she has endeavoured to shew hers Thou art all magnanimity Thou canst sustain the effort which she was unequal to Make some other woman happy—But I cannot bear that it shall be an Italian If it must be an Italian not Florence but Bologna shall give an Italian to thee
But can I shew thee this paper which has cost me so many tears so much study so much blottingout and revising and transcribing and which yet I drew up with an intent to shew thee I verily think I cannot Nor will I till I can see by conversing with thee face to face what I shall be enabled to do in answer to prayers to Heaven that it would enable me—O how faint at times have been those prayers
You my Father my Mother my Brothers and you my spiritual Father pious and good man have helped to subdue me by your generous goodness You have all yielded up your own judgments to mine You have told me that if the choice of my heart can make me happy happy I shall be But do I not know that you have complied with me for my sake only—Shall I not if it please God to restore my memory be continually recollecting the arguments which you Father Marescotti in particular formerly urged against an alliance with this noblest of men because he was of a religion so contrary to my own and so pertinacious in it And will those recollections make me happy O permit permit me my dearest friends still to be Gods child the spouse of my Redeemer only Let me let me yet take the veil—
And let me in a place consecrated to his glory pass the remainder of my life It may not be a long one in prayers for you all and in prayers for the conversion and happiness of the man whose soul my soul loveth and ever must love What is the portion of this world which my grandfathers have bequeathed to me weighed against this motive and my souls everlasting welfare Let me take a great revenge of my cruel cousin Laurana Let hers be the estate so truly despised and so voluntarily forfeited by the happier Clementina—Are we not all of us rich and noble Shall I not have a great revenge if I can be enabled to take it in this way
O thou whom my soul loveth let me try the greatness of thy love and the greatness of thy soul by thy endeavours to strengthen and not impair a resolution which after all it will be in thy power to make me break or keep For God only knoweth what this struggle from the first hath cost me and what it will still further cost me But my brain wounded my health impaired can I expect a long life And shall I not endeavour to make the close of it happy Let me be great my Chevalier how fondly can I nevertheless call thee my Chevalier Thou cast make the unhappy Clemantina what thou pleasest
But O my friends what can we do for this great and good man in return for the obligations he hath heaped upon us all In return for his goodness to two of your children These obligations lie heavy upon my heart Yet who knows not his magnanimity Who that knows him knows not that he can enjoy the reward in the action Divine almost divine Philanthropist canst thou forgive me—But I know thou canst Thou hast the same notions that I have of the brevity and vanity of this worlds glory and of the duration of that to come And can I have the presumption to imagine that the giving thee in marriage
so wounded a frame would be making thee happy Once more if I have the courage the resolution to shew thee this paper do thou enable me by thy great example to complete the conquest of myself and do not put me upon taking advantage of my honoured friends generosity But do God and thou enable me to say Not my will but his and theirs be done—Yet after all it must be let me own in thy choice for I cannot bear to be thought ungrateful to such exalted merit to add what name thou pleasest to that of
CLEMENTINA—
Never was man more astonished perplexed confounded For a few moments I forgot that the angel was in her closet expecting the issue of my contemplations and walking out of her dressingroom I threw myself on a soffa in the next room not heeding Camilla who sat in the window My mind tortured how greatly tortured Yet filled with admiration of the angelic qualities of Clementina I tried to look again into the paper but the contents were all in my mind and filled it
She rang Camilla hastened to her I started as she passed me I arose yet trembled And for a moment sat down to reassure my feet But Camilla coming to me roused me out of the stupidity that had seized me Never was I so little present to myself as on this occasion—A woman so superior to all her own Sex and to all that I had read of of ours—O Sir said Camilla my Lady dreads your anger She dreads to see you Yet hopes it—Hasten hasten and save her from fainting—O how she loves you How she fears your displeasure—Hers indeed is true Love
She said this as she conducted me in as I now recollect for then all my faculties were too much engaged to attend to her
I hastened in The admirable Lady met me halfway and throwing herself at my feet—Forgive me forgive the creature who must be miserable if you are offended with her
I would have raised her but she would not be raised she said till I had forgiven her
I kneeled to her as she kneeled and clasping her in my arms Forgive you madam Inimitable woman More than woman—Can you forgive me for having presumed or for still persuming to hope such an angel mine
She was ready to faint and cast her arms about me to support herself Camilla held to her her salts—I myself for the first time was sensible of benefit from them as my cheek was joined to hers and bathed with her tears
Am I am I forgiven—Say that I am—
Forgive madam You have done nothing that requires forgiveness I adore your greatness of mind—What you wish bid me be and that I will be Rise most excellent of human creatures
I raised her and leading her to a chair involuntarily kneeled on one knee to her holding both her hands in mine as she sat and looking up to her with eyes that spoke not my heart if they were not full of love and reverence
Camilla had run down to the Marchioness—O madam it seems she said—Such a scene Hasten hasten up They will faint in each others arms Virtuous Love how great is thy glory
The Marquis his Lady the Bishop the Count and Father Marescotti were together waiting the event of my visit They were surprised at Camillas address—But little imagined to what the intellectual scene she spoke of was owing
The Marchioness hastened after Camilla and found me in this kneeling posture her daughters hands both in mine—Dear Chevalier said she restrain your grateful
rapture For the sake of the sweet childs head grateful as I see by her eyes it must be to her—restrain it
O madam quitting Clementinas hands and rising and taking one of hers—Glory in your daughter You always loved and admired her but you will now glory in her She is an angle—Give me leave madam to Clementina to present this paper to the Marchioness I give it to her—Read it madam—Let your Lord let the Bishop let Father Marescotti read it—But read it with compassion for me and then direct me what to say what to do I resign myself wholly to your direction and theirs and to yours my dear Lady Clementina
You say you forgive me Chevalier—Now shall I forgive myself Gods goodness and yours will I hope perfectly restore me This is my direction Chevalier—Love my MIND as yours ever was the principal object of my love
What what my dear can be in this paper said the Marchioness holding it in her hand trembling and afraid to open it Pardon me madam answered Clementina—I could not shew it to you first I could not reveal my purpose to Camilla neither How could I when I knew not whether I could or could not maintain it or even mention it—But now best of men and rising laid her hand on my arm leave me for a few moments My heart is disturbed Be so good as to excuse me madam
She again retired to her closet We heard her sob And Camilla hastening to her—O these hysterical disorders said she—They tear her tender constitution in pieces
The Marchioness left her to Camilla and offered me her hand Surprising said she as we went Where will all this end What can be in this paper
I was unable to answer And coming to the passage that led to her drawingroom where she had left
the gentlemen I bowed on her hand and the same passage leading to the backstairs took that way into the garden in order to try to recover and compose my spirits—Who my dear friend could have expected such a turn as this
I had not walked long before Mr Lowther came to me—Signor Jeronymo Sir said he is greatly disturbed on reading a paper that has been put into his hands He begs to see you instantly
Mr Lowther left me at Jeronymos chamberdoor He was on his couch O my Grandison said he as I approached him with a thoughtful air how much am I concerned for you I cannot bear that such a spirit as yours should be subjected to the petulance of a brainsick girl
Hush my Jeronymo Let not the friend forget the brother Clementina is the noblest of women It is true I was not prepared for this blow But I reverence her for her greatness of mind—You have read her paper
I have and am astonished at its contents
The Marquis the Count the Bishop and Father Marescotti entered The Bishop embraced me He disclaimed in the name of every one the knowlege of her intentions He expected he said that she would have received my address with raptures of joy But she must she will be yours Chevalier We are all engaged in honour to you This is only a start of female delicacy operating on a raised imagination She leaves it to you after all to call her by what name you please
May it be so But ah my Lords you see not the force of her arguments With a Lady so zealous in her religion and so justly fond of her relations and country they must have weight—Instruct me tell me however my Lords Be pleased madam The Marchioness joined us just before to advise me what
to do—I am yours—I will withdraw Consult together and let me know what I am to be
I withdrew and walked again into the garden
Camilla came to me O Chevalier What strange things are these My Lady has taken a resolution she never will be able to support She commanded me to find you out and to watch your looks your behaviour your temper She cannot live she says if you are displeased with her—I see that your mind is greatly disturbed Must I report it so
Tell her Camilla that I am all resignation to her will Disturbed as she has been tell her that her peace of mind is dear to me as my own life That I can have no anger no resentment and that I admire her more than I can express
Camilla left me Father Marescotti came to me presently after with a request that I would attend the family in Jeronymos chamber
We went up together All that the good Father said as we walked in was that God knew what was best for us For his part he could only wonder and adore in silence
When we were all seated the Bishop said My dear Chevalier you have intitled yourself to our utmost gratitude It is confirmed that Clementina shall be yours Jeronymo will have it so We are all of his mind Her mother will enter into conversation with her in your favour
I am equally obliged and honoured by this goodness But should she persist what can I say when she calls upon me in the most solemn manner to support her in her resolution and not to put her upon taking advantage of the generosity of her friends
She will be easily persuaded no doubt Chevalier answered the Bishop She loves you Does she not say in this very paper
that it is in your power to
make her break or keep her resolution and to add what name you please to her Christian name
Nor can I said the Marquis bear that flight in Lauranas favour If her mind were found her duty would not permit her to think of it
It is our unanimous opinion resumed the Bishop that she will not be able to support her resolution You see she is obliged to court your assistance to enable her to keep it Father Marescotti it is true has laid a stress upon some passages in which she shews a doubt of her own strength and dreads yours in a certain article nearest our hearts But she must be cautioned to leave all arguments of that kind to her confessor and you and to content herself to be an auditor not an arguer and we doubt not your honour The marriagearticles will bind you as they shall us—And now allow me to be beforehand with your Jeronymo and ours in saluting you our Brother
He took my hand and embracing me as such You deal nobly with me my Lord said I I resign myself to your direction
Jeronymo affectionately held out his arms and joyfully saluted me as his Brother The Marquis the Count each took my hand And the Marchioness offering hers I pressed it with my lips and withdrawing hastened to my lodgings with a heart O Dr Bartlett how penetrated by a suspense so strange and unexpected
But when they attribute to flight and unsoundness of mind that glorious passage in which she proposes to take a revenge so noble on the cruel Laurana they seem unable to comprehend as I can easily do the greatness of mind of this admirable woman
Bologna Monday July 10—21
I Had no call for rest last night I only reposed myself in a chair for about an hour I sent early in the morning a note to enquire with the tenderest solicitude after all their healths and particularly Clementinas and Jeronymos A written answer was returned by Jeronymo that his sister had rested so very ill that it was thought adviseable to keep her quiet all day unless she should be particularly earnest to see me and in that case they would send me word
I was myself very much indisposed yet had a difficulty to deny myself tho uninvited to attend them at dinner My own disorder however determined me not to go unless sent for It would I thought be too visible to them all and might raise a suspicion that I wanted to move compassion A meanness of which I am not capable Yet indisposed as I was still more in the afternoon I hoped to have an invitation for half an hour But not being sent to I repeated my enquiries in another billet No invitation followed On the contrary Jeronymo wrote one line wishing to see me in the morning
I had as little rest last night as the night before My impatience carried me to the palace of Porretta sooner than usual this morning
Signor Jeronymo rejoiced to see me He hoped I did not take amiss that they invited me not the day before To say the truth said he the days rest was judged entirely necessary for you both For my sister particularly And she was so uneasy and displeased at your going away on Saturday without takeing leave of her that she was the more easily persuaded not to see you yesterday But already this
morning I understand she asks after you with impatience You are angry at her she supposes and will never see her more You had but just left us on Saturday night when Camilla came down with her request to see you For my part proceeded he my thoughts are so much carried out of myself by the extraordinary turn she has taken that at times I forget I ail any-thing.
He then asked if I could forgive his sister and reflected on the Sex on her account as never knowing their own minds but when they meet with obstacles to their wills But she must she will be yours my Grandison said he and if it please God to restore her she will make you rich amends
The Bishop and Father Marescotti came in to make their morning compliments to Jeronymo The Marquis and Count entered soon after to salute me
The Marchioness followed them Clementina was so uneasy on Saturday night said she to me on finding you gone without taking leave of her and so much discomposed all day yesterday that I chose not to say any-thing to her on the great article I am glad you are come
Somebody just then tapping at the door Come in Camilla said the Marchioness
It is not Camilla it is I said Lady Clementina entering I am told the Chevalier—O there he is—Favour me Sir with a few words—walking to a window at the other end of the room
I followed her Tears were in her eyes She looked earnestly at me Then turning her face from me—Why madam said I taking her hand why this emotion I have not I hope offended you
O Chevalier I cannot bear to be slighted and least of all by you though I must own that I deserve it most from you A slight from you is a charge of ingratitude upon me that my heart cannot bear
Slight you madam—I revere you as the most
excellent of women You have indeed filled my heart with anguish But I admire you more for the cause of that anguish than it is possible for me to express
Dont dont say so You will ruin me by your generosity I think you must be angry with me I think you must treat me ill or how shall I keep my purpose
Your purpose dearest madam—Your purpose
My purpose Yes Sir Will it afflict you if I do
Is it possible madam but it must What would you think—
Hush hush my good Chevalier I am afraid it will But dont tell me it will I cannot bear to afflict you
When I had the honour of every ones consent madam—
That was in compassion to me Sir
My dearest Love said the Marquis coming to us that was at first our motive But now an alliance with the Chevalier Grandison in justice to his merits is become our choice
I bowed to the generous nobleman She kneeled Best and most indulgent of fathers taking his hand and kissing it let me thank you for bearing with me as you have done What trouble have I given you—All the business of my future life shall be to shew my gratitude and my obedience to your will The Marchioness then tenderly raising her took her to the farther end of the room They talked low but we heard all they said You were so very indifferent all day yesterday and last night said the Marchioness that I would not disturb you Love for fear of breaking your rest else I would have told you how desirous now we all are of an alliance with the Chevalier Grandison No other way can he be rewarded for his goodness to us all
Permit me madam answered Clementina to give
you the motives of my present conduct of my selfdenial such is my value for the Chevalier I will call it so If I thought I could make the generous man happy if I thought I should not rather punish than reward him if I thought I could be happy in myself and my soul would not be endangered if I thought I could make you and my papa happy by giving my hand to him God knows that my heart would not make the least scruple But madam the Almighty has laid his hand upon me My head is not yet as it should be and before I took my resolution I considered everything as much as my poor shattered reason would permit me to consider it This was the way I took—I prayed that God would direct me I put myself in the situation of another person who circumstanced as I was I supposed came to me for advice I saw plainly that I could not deserve the Chevalier because I could not think as he thought in the most important of all articles and there was no likelihood of his thinking as I thought I prayed for fortitude I doubted myself I altered and altered what I had written But still all my alterations ran one way It was against my own wishes So this I took for an answer to my prayers I transcribed it fair but still I doubted myself I would not consult you madam You had declared for the Chevalier That would not have been to do justice to the question before me and to the divine impulse by which I was determined to be governed if my prayers for it should be answered I let not Camilla know my struggles I besought the assistance of the Blessed Virgin to favour an unhappy maid whose heart was in her duty but whose head was disturbed It was suggested to me what to do Yet I would not send to the Chevalier what I had written I still doubted my heart And thought I never should be able to give him the paper At last I resolved But when he came my heart recoiled He could not but see the
distress I was in I am sure I met with his pity Could I but give him the paper thought I my difficulty would be over for then I am sure almost sure that seeing my scruples and the rectitude of my purpose he will himself generously support me in my resolution At last I gave the paper to him And now let me say that I verily think I shall be easier in my mind if I can be allowed to adhere to the contents yet not be thought ungrateful Dear blessed Grandison turning to me read once more that paper And then if you will not if you cannot set me free I will obey my friends and make you as happy as I can
She turned from every one and fell upon her knees Great God I thank thee said she for this serene moment
Serene as the noble enthusiast thought her mind I saw it was too high set From the turn of her eyes I feared a relapse It was owing to her greatness of mind her reason and her love combating with each other that she ever was disordered I approached her—Admirable Lady said I be you free Whatever be my destiny be you for me what you wish to be If you are well and happy I will if possible make myself so
Dear Grandison said the Bishop coming up to me and taking my hand how do I admire you But can you be thus great
Shall I not emulate my Lord such an example set by a woman I came over without any interested views I considered myself indeed as bound by the conditions to which I had formerly yielded but Lady Clementina and your family as free When I was encouraged to hope I did hope I will now though with deep regret go back to my former situation If Lady Clementina persists in her present resolution I will endeavour to acquiesce with it If she should change her mind I will hold myself in readiness to
receive her hand as the greatest blessing that can be conferred upon me Only let me add that in the first case the difficulty upon me will be greatly increased by the exalted contents of the paper she put into my hands on Saturday
The Marchioness taking her daughters hand and mine—Why why said she should minds thus paird be sunderd—And will you Chevalier wait with patience the result of my sweet childs—Caprice—shall I call it
Detain not my hand my dear mamma withdrawing it a little wildly—Let me go up and pray that my fortitude of mind after the pain it has cost me to obtain it may not forsake me Adieu Adieu Chevalier I will pray for you as well as for myself Never never in my devotions will we be separated
Away flew the angel
She met Camilla in the passage—Dear Camilla I have had an escape as far as I know My hand and the Chevaliers hand each in one of my mammas—My resolution was in danger My mamma might have joined them you know and then I must have been his
Jeronymo in silence but tears in his eyes attended to the scene between his sister and she He embraced me—Dearest of men let me repeat my mothers question Can you with patience wait the result of this dear girls caprice
I can I will
But I will talk to her myself said he
So said the Marquis will we all
It will be right to do so added the Count least she should repent when it is too late
But I believe said Father Marescotti the Chevalier himself would not wish that Lady Clementina should be too vehemently urged She pleads her Soul A strong plea A plea that should not be overruled I myself doubt very much whether she will be able
to adhere to her resolution If she be she will merit Beatification But let her not be overpersuaded Once more I should be glad to read the paper the contents of which have so much surprised us all
I had it in my pocket and he asked permission to read it aloud Jeronymo opposed his motion But the Bishop approving it he read it He laid great emphasis upon particular words and repeated several of the passages in it You will easily guess which my dear friend and all were as much affected they owned as when they heard it first read Yet they joined in one doubt notwithstanding what she had so lately said of the deliberation she had given her purpose that she would not be able to adhere to her resolution and made me many compliments on the occasion
But my dear friend if she can continue to interest her glory in the adherence and they are not very urgent with her in my favour I am inclined to believe that she has greatness of mind sufficient to enable her to carry her resolution into effect Where piety my dear friend engages the heart to give up its first fervors to its superior duties is it not probable that all temporal impulses should receive abatement and become but secondary ones And now will not Father Marescotti once more try to revive his influences over her mind—Is it not his duty to do so zealous Catholic as he is Can the Bishop refuse good man as he is and as steady in his principles to second the Father
But what trials are these my dear Dr Bartlett to an expecting heart—Will they not serve to convince us of the vanity of all human reliance for happiness I am in a very serious humour But what can I say to you on such subjects that you knew not much better before than I
Let us I remember you once said when we are called upon to act a great or manly part preach by action Words then will
be needless
God only knows whether the ardent heart would be punished or rewarded by the completion of its wishes But this I know that were Clementina to give me both her hand and her heart and could not by reason of religious doubts be happy with me I should myself be extremely miserable especially if I had been earnest to prevail upon her to favour me against her judgment
I Was obliged to lay down my pen My mind was too much disturbed to write on
We had a great deal of discourse before we quitted Jeronymos chamber on this extraordinary subject They all as I told you expressed their doubts that the Lady would be able to persist in her new resolution The Marquis and Marchioness gave their opinion that she should be left entirely to the workings of her own will And the Count proposed by way of enforcing their opinions that neither the Bishop and Father Marescotti on one hand tho religion was in the question nor Jeronymo and myself on the other should endeavour to prevail upon her either to alter or persevere in her way of thinking Jeronymo said he desired only one conversation with his sister alone before he complied with this proposal
They put it to me I said That several passages in her paper were of too solemn a nature for me to refuse my consent to their proposal But however if I should observe in future conversations between her and me that she was inclined to alter her mind and seemed to wish to be encouraged to declare the alteration they must allow me for the sake of my own honour as a man and of her delicacy as a woman to shew the ardour of my attachment to her by my preventing declaration and even entreaty
The Marchioness bowed to me with a grateful smile of approbation
Father Marescotti hesitated as if he had something of an objection to make but he was silenced by the Marquiss saying On your honour on your delicacy I am sure Chevalier we may rely
I am absolutely of opinion that we may said the Count The Chevalier can put himself in every ones situation and can forget his own interest when a right and just measure is to be taken
This is true said Jeronymo—But let it be our part to shew the Chevalier that he is not the only man in the world who can do so
You must remember my dear Jeronymo said the Bishop that Religion is a consideration superior to all others Shall our sister who follows the example set her by the Chevalier he discouraged in an effort so noble But I am willing to subscribe to the proposal as an equal one
Father Marescotti said I you must return me the paper I must often have recourse to it to strengthen my own mind in order to enable myself to answer your expectations
The Father desired leave to take a copy of it in shorthand and retired for that purpose
I have no doubt but he will make great use of it with the family and perhaps with the Lady should there be occasion hereafter For my own part if the noble Enthusiast when the heat of her imagination is gone off shall persist in believing that she has a divine impulse in favour of her resolution and that given in answer to her prayers I will endeavour to shew her that her call upon me to support her in it tho against myself shall be answered whatever it cost me
They prevailed on me to stay dinner She excused herself from being present but desired to see me when it was over
Camilla then led me to her I found her in tears She was afraid she said that I would not forgive her Yet I would she was sure if I knew the conflicts with which her soul laboured
I soothed her disturbed mind I told her that I desired her direction and was resolved to pursue it Her paper should be one of my constant lessons and her conscience the rule of my conduct with regard to my expectations of her favour
O Sir said she how good you are It is from your generosity next to the divine assistance that I expect support in my resolution I but imperfectly remember what I would have done and what I consented to when you were last among us—But when I best knew myself I was more inclined to support my parents and brothers in their expectations with regard to the two great articles of religion and residence than to comply with yours My fortune my rank merited your consideration and my pride was sometimes piqued
But it was the regard that I had to the welfare of your immortal soul that weighed most with me O Sir could you have been a Catholic
—
She then wrung her clasped hands and tears trickled down her cheeks God Almighty convert you Chevalier—But you must leave me I am beginning to be again unhappy—Leave me Sir But let me see you tomorrow I will pray for a composure of mind in the mean time Do you pray for me too
And pray for yourself Chevalier The welfare of your soul your immortal soul was ever my principal concern
She began to ramble Her looks were a little wild I took leave of her and going hastily from her in order to hide my own emotion I surprised Father Marescotti who as it was at first sight evident to me from the confusion I found him in and the attempts he hesitatingly made to excuse himself had
been listening to what passed between the Lady and me Pity that a wellintended zeal should make a good man do mean things
No apologies my dear Father said I If you doubted my honour I can think myself in some measure obliged to your condescension for taking this method to prove me Allow me my dear Sir to say It is to Father Marescotti that the man who in the greater actions of his life thinks himself under the Allseeing Eye will not be afraid of a fellowcreatures ear
I beg a thousand pardons said he hesitating and in confusion But I will confess the truth I believed it was next to impossible that a young man whose Love to one of the most excellent of women is not to be questioned should be able to keep the conditions prescribed to him and forbear to make use of the power she acknowleges he has over her affections—But forgive me Chevalier
Forgive yourself my dear Father I do most heartily forgive you
I led him down to Jeronymos chamber begging of him not to say a syllable more of this matter and not to let me suffer in his esteem by this accident
I have more than once Dr Bartlett experienced the irreconcileable enmity of a man whom I have forgiven for a meanness and who was less able to forgive me my forgiveness than I was him his fault But Father Marescotti cannot be such a man He is capable of generous shame He could hardly hold up his head all the time I staid
I related to the family in the presence of the Father the substance of what passed between the Lady and me They seemed surprised at her stedfastness The Bishop told me that he had dispatched a messenger post to the General with a Letter in which he had written a faithful account of their present situation He would shew me a copy of it if I pleased
I was sure I said I could depend upon his generosity and honour and should be glad to know the sentiments of the General and his Lady upon it when they returned an answer
I promised to attend them in the morning And going to my lodgings found there waiting for me the Count of Belvedere Saunders and his gentleman were both together belowstairs waiting for yet dreading as they said my return Saunders had told the Count it was uncertain But he declared that he would wait for me were it ever so late They both besought me to take care of my own safety His gentleman told me that his master had been very much disturbed in his mind ever since he was with me last declaring often that his life was a burden to him He believed he said he had a brace of pistols with him And then again expressed his care for my safety as well as his Lords Fear not said I The Count is a man of honour I would not for the world hurt him And I dare say he will not hurt me
I hastened up Why my Lord said I taking his unwilling hands each in mine for a double reason did you not let me know you intended me this honour Or why did not your Lordship send for me as soon as you came
Send for you with a melancholy air What from your Clementina No—But tell me what is concluded upon My soul is impatient to know Answer me like a man Answer me like a man of honour
Nothing my Lord is concluded upon Nothing can be concluded upon till Lady Clementinas mind be fully known
If that be all the obstacle—
Not a slight one I assure you that Clementina knows her own worth She will put a just value upon herself In her unhappy delirium she always preserved a high sense of that delicacy which distinguishes the woman of true honour It shines forth now in all her
words and actions with redoubled lustre She will make the more difficulties as her friends make less Nothing can be done soon And if it will make your Lordship easier for I see you are disturbed I will acquaint you when any-thing is likely to be carried into effect
And is nothing yet concluded on And will you give me such notice
I will my Lord
Upon your honour
Upon my honour
Well then I have some days longer to crawl upon this earth
What means my Lord
This I mean withdrawing his hands from mine and taking out of his pockets two pistols I came resolved that you should take one of these at your choice had the affair been concluded upon as I dreaded it would I am no assass•n Sir nor ever employed one Nor would I have deprived Clementina of her elected husband All I intended was that the hand to which she is to give hers should have first taken my life I will not I cannot live to see her the wife of any man on earth tho she has refused to be mine—You should have found I would not
What a rashness—But I see your mind is disturbed The Count of Belvedere could not otherwise talk in this manner
It is not impossible surely my dear Dr Bartlett however improbable as I begin to apprehend that Clementina may change her mind I could not therefore acquaint the Count with our present situation because the hope he would have conceived from it would in case of a change have added strength to his despair I contented myself therefore to reason with him on his rash intention And having renewed my assurances as above he took leave of me so much recovered as to thank me for the advice I had given him and to
promise that he would make it the foundation of his prayers to heaven for a calmer mind than he had known for some days past
Saunders and his valet seemed overjoyed at seeing us come down together in an amicable manner and in the high civility each paid the other
I should have mentioned that the Count of his own accord in passing thro my antechamber to the stairs laid in one of the windows the two pistols My dear Grandison said he let these remain in your keeping They are pieces of curious workmanship Whither might one of them by this time have sent me—And in what difficulties might you the survivor a foreigner have been involved which then I considered not for all my malice was levelled against my unhappy self I will not trust myself with them—
Here I conclude for this night I will not dispatch these lastwritten Letters till I see what tomorrow will produce My dear friend How grievous is suspense—Perhaps I should have thought myself more obliged to bear it had I been thus entangled fettered suspended by my own fault
I Went according to promise in the morning to the palace of Porretta I found all the family the Marchioness and Lady Clementina excepted in Jeronymos chamber My entrance I suppose was solemn for Jeronymo as I approached him snatching my hand said This girl this capricious this uncommon girl How can I forgive her for vexing the heart of my Grandison
Father Marescotti looked so conscious that I pitied him I took his hand and with an air of kindness asked him—Are there any hopes my good Father
that I shall have the honour of calling you one of my dearest houshold friends in England
I gave him no time to answer lest he should not be assured enough And addressing myself to the Bishop My Lord I ask you the like question Is there a likelihood that I shall have an interest in Father Marescottis more intimate friendship We already I answer for myself and from my vanity love each other
Dear Grandison said the Marquis and taking my hand he called me by the kindest name—Saving that it was not Son Jeronymo dried his eyes The Count saluted me in a tender accent The Bishop was silent
I see thought I that the admirable Clementina perseveres—Religion that can do so much for her will not I hope leave me unbenefited by its allchearing influence If I cannot be so happy as I wish I am in the hands of Providence and will not give myself up to unmanly despair—Yet the greatness of this womans mind thought I—Why did they not fall upon indulgent methods with her before Then probabl• had there not been a supposed reason for an invitati•n to me to quit my native country to which I had been so long a stranger and to come over to Italy—Then had she in all likelihood recovered her reason and I had not known how great she could be and her filial duty would have disengaged me equally from all obligations of honour and expectations of favour
The Marchioness came in soon after Her address to me confirmed me in my apprehensions—Dear Grandison said she condescendingly laying her hand on mine how do you See our dear Jeronymo—How much better he is—What return can we make to you for your goodness to him I went up to the dear girl last night after you were gone She was then indeed a little hysterical But the disorder went off in prayers for you and for herself I am just come from
her She has had a quiet night She is calm and I may say serene All her cares are in what manner to shew her gratitude to you
It is impossible madam but I must have joy in your joy Lady Clementina I apprehend perseveres in her resolution—
I have talked to her Chevalier in your favour If you love her she says as we all think you do she will yet be yours
Dear madam overjoyed tell me—
Let me interrupt you Chevalier I must not mislead you nor keep you in suspense—She will she says beg your acceptance of her vows—if—
If what madam—
Hear me with patience Chevalier—If you will comply with the conditions, on which we would have permited her to be yours when you were last in Italy—This is her own proposal—Made at her own motion—She is afraid it will be to no purpose she says afraid Sir But as you have not denied her to herself she begs I will put the question to you in her name for the sake if you should refuse her of her own future tranquillity of mind The Chevalier Grandison is generous he is just he is polite He cannot but receive this motion of my child by her mother as the greatest condescension from both
I bowed I was going to speak but they all severally broke in upon me
On my knees Chevalier said Father Marescotti I will entreat you
O Chevalier said the Bishop how happy is it in your power to make us all
Surely you can you will you must Chevalier said the Count if you love the dear creature as we all suppose you do
You will not I hope dear Grandison said the Marquis refuse my daughter Ask any conditions of us—She shall be with you in England in a months
time We will accompany her thither and stay till you shall choose to return with us
Jeronymo with sobs caught my hand as I sat next him—For Gods sake for my sake for all our sakes for your souls sake my Grandison be ours Let your Jeronymo call you Brother
If my tears if my prayers have weight said the Marchioness let me call down my child and she shall give you her hand in our presence She thinks besides the regard she has for your soul that she ought to insist upon the terms on which we would have consented to make her yours in gratitude for our compliance with her wishes
Dearest Grandison rejoined the Bishop Refuse not my sister Refuse not the daughter of the Marchese and Marchesa della Porretta Refuse not the assenting Clementina
They were all silent their eyes were upon me It is answered I too too condescendingly generous to put this task upon me But Refuse Lady Clementina said you How you wound my soul by the supposition I see your compassion for me in the light you cannot but mean I should Lady Clementinas generously and condescendingly meant proposal when I am willing to allow terms to her that she will not to me shews me how important she thinks the difference between the two religions Need I repeat my Lord to the Bishop what my own thoughts are upon this subject Would to heaven the terms were no other than those before agreed to or were such as I could comply with I have only to console myself that the power of Refusal lies where it ought to lie Clementina is an angel I am not worthy of her Yet let me add this company bowing round me cannot think me too solemn—Were I to live always here were I convinced that there is no life after this your commands and Clementinas would be Laws to me But has she not the goodness to say in her paper
That
I have the same notion she has of the brevity and vanity of this worlds glory and of the duration of that to come
They looked upon one another. It is hard very hard said the Bishop for a man convinced of the truth of his religion to allow to another of a different persuasion what he expects should be allowed for himself You Chevalier however can allow it and have greatness of mind enough to judge favourably of those who cannot I do love you but fain would I love you more
The Marchioness wept My dear Love said the Marquis taking her hand with the tenderness of a Lover but speaking a little too severely of me for his usual generosity—How many tears has this affair cost you My heart bleeds to see you weep Comfort yourself Let us comfort each other The Chevalier Grandison is indeed unworthy of our child unworthy of the terms we offered to him unworthy of our joint entreaties—He is an invincible man
I was greatly affected After a little hesitation I ask leave my Lords said I to retire for one moment I will return as soon as I have recovered myself from the concern given me by the—misapprehension shall I call it of the best of men whom from my heart I reverence
I arose as I spoke withdrew and took two or three turns in the salon
I staid not till I was sent for But assuming as chearful an air as I could returned and found them earnest in talk They all arose at my return seemingly pleased with it and the Marquis coming to me Chevalier said he I am sorry—
Not one word of apology my Lord interrupted I I withdrew not from disrespect or in resentment but purely from concern that in your opinion I deserved not the honour done me by one so dear to you Think me unhappy my Lord and pitty me
Principle not perverseness influences me It does every one present It does the dear Lady above And shall we not allow for one another, when we are all actuated by the same motive
O that I could embrace my fourth son said the Marchioness The Bishop threw his arms about me Generous expansion of heart were the words that fell from his lips Jeronymo shewed his friendly Love in what he said And must not said the Count this young man be one of us
After chocolate the Marchioness withdrew to the window making a motion to me to attend her I hastened to her She complimented me speaking low as a fit person to be consulted in a case where female delicacy was concerned and then asked me what I would have her say to Clementina who had offered her hand to me on conditions with which she had hopes I would comply Must I tell the dear child she is rejected
Lady Clementina rejected—Dear madam how can I bear that she should but suppose it—Be pleased to tell her that I have been again sounded on the subject of a change of religion if her favour for me could be procured But that I was so steady in my faith that there were no hopes of my conversion as you will call it And be so good as to remind her it may look like a breach of conditions if I do that I require not a change in her and that therefore the terms proposed are unequal
Fain very fain Chevalier would I—She stopt there—But no more on this subject I will see in what way the dear creature is now
She left me and went to her daughter The subject was changed
In about half an hour she returned She told me that she had followed my advice but that Clementina seemed dissatisfied and perplexed And as she had not asked to see me advised me to suspend my attendance
on her till the afternoon as she would by that means have more time to compose her spirits and herself further opportunities of talking with her
Declining their invitation to dinner I went to my lodgings and to amuse myself had recourse to my pen
Having written thus far I lay it down till my return from them
AT my entrance into the palace of Porretta I was desired to walk into the garden to the Bishop I found with him Father Marescotti
Dear Grandison said the Bishop meeting me and taking my hand you must decide a point between the Father and me that we are afraid has made us a little accountable to you
I was silent He proceeded
Clementina is very sedate She sent for me and the Father soon after you left us She asked us several questions in relation to you and insisted on our advice as religious men and as we would answer for it to our own consciences Her first was Whether we thought there were any hopes of your conversion—I answered negatively
I dont expect said she that he would be induced to change his religion for a wife nor even for a crown were he not convinced of the falshood of his own and the truth of ours But again I ask Cannot you and Father Marescotti convince his judgment I should think it would not be so hard a task learned and good men as you both are Good man and modest and patient and unpresuming as he is who has been so long among Catholics who came from England so young has been left so much to his own direction
and who must see the difference of the two religions to the advantage of ours were he but to judge by the efficacy of each on the lives and manners of the people professing each for surely the men of name and family who are sent among us by their parents from the heretic countries in order to observe our manners and to improve their own are not the worst of the people of those countries
I told her proceeded the Bishop that to be impartial there were bad and good of all nations that she was not likely to be approached by any of her own but who were good that you Chevalier and Mrs Beaumont might convince us that there were good people among the Protestants and that nowand then a young man of that profession did actually appear among us who was not a discredit to his country But continued I I have heretofore debated the subject with the Chevalier Grandison You know I was in a manner called upon to do it And have found him a Protestant upon principle and that he has a great deal to say for himself You Father would not allow me this but you never entered into close argument with him on the subject as I have done
My sister then asked proceeded the Bishop if I thought that her own religious principles would be endangered if she became yours and went with you to England
We both referred her to certain passages in the paper she gave you
My heart said she could never be proof against a generous and kind treatment The condescending compliances with my weakness which my father mother brothers and uncle have made have effected what opposition and cruelty as you see could not So compassionate so humane a man as I think the Chevalier Grandison and so steady as he is in his principles so much as you own as he has to say for himself joined with the sense I always had from my
mothers example of the duties of a good wife will too probably stagger me in my faith And if so I shall be unhappy I shall make my confessor so I am determined added she as you brother have seen in my own mind But I ask your opinion and yours Father Marescotti The Chevalier now is a favourite with you both Religion only can now be the question—Is it not too probable that I shall be staggered in my own faith were I to be his
We gave her continued the Bishop our opinions freely as religious men Could we Chevalier do otherwise And yet we are both ready to accuse ourselves of infringing conditions with you Tell us if n your opinion we have
I cannot my Lord judge from this general account If you did more than answer her questions if you expatiated argumentatively on the subject I must think you have And your own doubts help to convince me that you have tho I cannot but respect you greatly for the frankness of your application to me on this subject
We were earnest Chevalier we were warm in what we said—
Well my Lord called upon as you both were it would not have become your characters to be cool—For my own part I have been recollecting the behaviour of your admirable sister throughout every stage of her delirium respecting myself And I have not been able to call to mind one instance in it of an attachment merely personal I need not tell you Father nor you my Lord what a zealous Catholic she is She early wished me to be one And had I not thought myself obliged in honour because of the confidence placed in me by the whole family to decline the subject our particular conversations when she favoured me with the name of tutor would have generally taken that turn Her unhappy illness was owing to her zeal for religion and to her concealing her struggles
on that account She never hinted at marriage in her resveries She was still solicitous for the SOUL of the man she wished to proselyte and declared herself ready to lay down her life could she have effected that favourite wish of her heart At other times she supposed my marriage with some other woman and was only generously solicitous that it should not be with one who might discredit the regard she herself professed for me At another time she wished to be acquainted with my sisters and hoped they would come to Italy She proposed to perfect them in the Italian tongue as they should her in the English But as to me only bespoke a visit from me nowandthen when they came I have the vanity to think that I stand high in her favour But religion it is evident, as it ought stands higher From all these recollections and observations I have endeavoured to account for the noble behaviour of your sister and am the less surprised at it now she is come to her memory It is all great all uniform and most probably we should have been in a very different situation than what we have been long in had she had her way given her at the time she was so earnest—For what Only to be allowed a second interview a farewel visit when she had shewn a little before on a first that marriage seemed not to be in her thoughts
And had she not been entrusted to the management of the cruel Laurana said the Bishop—
From which thank God said the Father I was the instrument of freeing her
By all this proceeded I I mean not recrimination but only to observe the consistency of the noble Ladys mind when she was able to reflect And what now remains for me to do but to reconcile myself if possible to a conduct that I must ever admire however I may in its consequences as to my own particular regret it—Your Lordship I am afraid thinks that she adheres to the contents of the paper she put into my hands
Unless you Chevalier—
That my Lord is out of the question Let it however be remembred that I have not prescribed to her that hard condition which is made an indispensable one to me Yet is Lady Clementina the only woman on earth that I would have wished to call mine on the terms on which I should have been proud to receive her hand For it is easy to foresee that generally great inconveniencies must attend a marriage between persons of a different religion one of them zealous the other not indifferent
But Chevalier you acquit Father Marescotti and me
I do my Lord Be you your own judges The condition was not proposed by me I consented to it for the sake of those who prescribed it and for your sisters sake I could not wish to prosecute my humble suit notwithstanding her declared favour for me against the pleas of conscience which she so earnestly urged How could I while religion and the generosity of her friends to her required as she thought that she should get above all regards for me I was therefore willing to comply with the proposal and to wait the issue of her spontaneous determination and to be governed by it But now that your Lordship and Father Marescotti have dispensed with the condition I presume that I am not bound by it
What means my Grandison
Only this I could not be thought to bear a Love so fervent to the admirable Clementina as the man ought to bear who aspires to the honour of calling her his if I made not one effort to convince her that she may be happy with me as to the article she is so solicitous about—From female delicacy she may perhaps expect to be argued with and to be persuaded Allow me to give her assurances of my inviolable honour in that point It becomes me as a man and as her
admirer to remove her scruples if I can before I yield up my Love to the force of them
Would you argue with her on the merits of the two persuasions
I would not I never did I would only assure her of my firm resolution never to attempt to bring her over to mine nor to traverse the endeavours of her confessor to keep her steady in hers But were we to consider only her future ease of mind You see my Lord that she herself has a view to that in the proposal made me as from herself in which the happiness of all your family is included it is right to see if she builds on a foundation that cannot be shaken that she may not hereafter regret the steps she has taken which might possibly—
I understand you Chevalier—It is prudently it is kindly put as well for her sake as ours
I shall be glad my Lord that you should be within hearing of every word that shall pass between us on this occasion One effort I ought to make If she is determined I will not urge her further For all the world and the dear Clementina in it I would not have her act against her conscience Nor will I take advantage of the declaration she has repeatedly made that it is in my power to hold her fast or to set her free I will not so much as urge it to her left if she should alter her purpose it should be from the conscience of a kind of promise implied in that declaration and not from her heart No my Lord she shall be wholly free I will not excellent as she is accept of her hand against her conscience Neither my conscience nor let me say my pride will permit me to do so But the world as well as my own heart would blame me if I made not one effort If it fail I shall be easier in my own mind and so will she in hers Be you my Lord within hearing of our next conversation
I would not Dr Bartlett propose to Father Marescotti
that he should for fear of making him uneasy on his listening to what passed between the Lady and me
I can absolutely depend upon your honour Chevalier replied the Bishop We have brought ourselves to be sincere favourers of this alliance with you But I own to you that both Father Marescotti and myself on the unexpected turn my sister has voluntarily taken are of opinion that you will both be happier if it take not place The difference in religion her malady—
No more my Lord of this subject If I cannot succeed I must endeavour to draw consolation to myself from reason and reflexion Mean time all I ask is that you will both acquit me of any supposed breach of condition as well in your own minds as to the rest of the family if I make this one effort After which if it succeed not I will whatever I suffer divest myself of Self, and join with you and Father Marescotti to secure the ground gained in the restoration of the noblest of female minds
They looked upon each other as if they were afraid of the event The Father whispered the Bishop I believe by a word or two that I could not but hear it was to induce him to place himself so as to hear as I had proposed the conversation that was next to pass between the Lady and me
Turning round on their whispering Dont I see Camilla my Lord said I at distance watching our motions as if she wanted an opportunity to speak to one of us
She has been walking for some time within sight said Father Marescotti
The Bishop made signs to her to advance She did And told me that her young Lady was desirous to see me
I followed her Clementina was alone Camilla introduced me to her and withdrew
She was in great confusion on my approach Her complexion frequently varied She looked at me often and as often turned away her eyes and sighed Two or three times she hemmd as if she would have cleared her voice but could not find words to express her labouring mind It was easy to see that her perplexity was not favourable to me I thought it would be cruel not to break the way for her to speak
Let not my dear Clementina forbear to say all that is in her heart to the man who greatly prefers her peace of mind to his own
I had I had said she a great deal to say before I saw you But now you are present—She stopt
Take time to recollect yourself madam—I have been talking in the garden to my Lord the Bishop and to Father Marescotti I greatly revere them both You have consulted them on the contents of the paper you are pleased to put into my hands I have hopes from thence that you may be made easy in your mind I will never dearest madam urge you on the article of Religion You shall be absolute mistress of your own will You shall prescribe to me what conditions you please with regard to your way of life your pleasures your gratuities to your servants and others Father Marescotti and your Camilla with you you will be as safe from innovation as you can be in your fathers house
Ah Chevalier
We may perhaps prevail upon your father and mother to honour us with their company in your first journey to England They have not been of late so well as it were to be wished We have baths there of sovereign efficacy in many disorders By using them and change of climate they will very probably receive benefit in their healths Jeronymo—
Ah Chevalier—She arose from her seat and reseated herself several times with great emotion I proceeded
Jeronymo our dear Jeronymo I hope will accompany us and his skilful Lowther Those baths are restorative
O Chevalier what a man you are—
She stopt with an air of attention as if she wished me to proceed
—And when your honoured and beloved friends shall see their Clementina happy as I am determined she shall be if all the tenderness of affection I am able to shew can make her so how happy will they all be—Your chapel madam Your confessor Your own servants—
Ah Sir Sir—Ought I to listen to such temptations after what I have given you upon deliberation in writing Good Heaven and the whole heavenly host direct me—
She had recourse to her beads and her lips as a word nowandthen halfpronounced informed me moved to a Paternoster Again she assumed an attentive air
My sisters madam will revere you You will have pleasure in calling them yours Their Lords are men of the first figure in their country I ask not for fortune I ask only for you and you I ask of yourself My estate is considerable and improving The pride I take in being independent and in the power of obliging suffers me not to be imprudent with regard to oeconomy My capital mansion I value it for not being a house of yesterday tho not so magnificent as your palace in Bologna is genteel spacious convenient The paper you gave me shews me that the grandeur of your soul is equal to that of your birth I revere you for the pious and noble sentiments contained in it What obligations will you lay me under to your goodness if you can prevail upon yourself to rely upon my assurances that I will never seek to make you unhappy on a religious account and if you can be satisfied with the enjoyment of your own religion
and leave to me the exercise of mine Dear madam why may not this be Why will you not leave me as free as I am ready to leave you Justice generosity are my pleas to a Lady who surely cannot but be just and generous Think madam dear Lady Clementina think if you cannot by making me happy be yourself so
I took her unresisting hand and kissed it She sighed She wept She was silent
With what pleasure proceeded I will you every other year visit and revisit England and your native country How dear will you be to your old friends and to your new in turn Never revisiting England without some of your relations to accompany you now one now another and who will be of our family Your Grandison madam allow me to say your Grandison has not he presumes to aver a narrow heart You see how well he can live with the most zealous of your religion yet not be an hypocrite but when called upon sears not to avow his own—My dearest Clementina Again I pressed her hand with my lips say you think you can be happy and yet bless me with your Love
O Sir God is my witness—But leave me leave me for a few moments I dare not trust myself with myself
Command me not to leave you madam till you resolve in my favour—Say cannot you be happy in the free exercise of your own religion—Father Marescotti Camilla with you—In England but one year at a time—In Italy under the reassuring eye of your father mother brothers the next
Ah Sir you must retire—Indeed you must You leave me not at liberty—You must let me consider—On this crisis of time as far as I know depends an eternity of happiness or misery
Command me not from you Bid me not leave you Obey the tender impulse that I flatter myself
I discover in my favour I seek your happiness in pursuing my own Your eternal welfare cannot be endangered My conscience will oblige me to strengthen yours when I see it is yours—Bid me not leave you—Excellent Clementina bid me not leave you—
You must you must—How can I trust myself against a voice that is the voice of Love and claims my kindness my justice my generosity—Was I ever ungenerous unjust unkind—And if thus staggered now what were I to be yours would the superadded sense of my duty do—O leave me Sir a few moments leave me
Be propitious madam be propitious to my humble hope that is all I will at present say and now I obey you—Profoundly bowing I withdrew into the next apartment She to her closet
I went out slowly and heard the hasty motion of somebody going out of the apartment as I entered it It was it seems the Bishop who had placed himself within hearing of what passed between his sister and me as I had desired he would
It was a full quarter of an hour before I heard her move and then it was to seek for me
I was sitting in a pensive mood revolving the embarrasments I had met with from some of the best of women and as you my dear Dr Bartlett know in different countries and particularly the unexpected turn which the excellent creature had taken She approached me with an air of majesty yet mixed with tenderness I met her and with a bent knee taking her hand—My fate hangs upon those lips said I and was proceeding when interrupting me—O Sir I hear not it is not safe for me to hear that voice accompanying this manner—Let me bend to you—I have been craving the divine direction An irresistible impulse surely it is that direction bids me say—Yet what can I say—If I attempt to argue I am lost—Does not this shew me that were I to be yours I
must be all you wish me to be And then my everlasting peace my everlasting happiness—O Sir I doubt not your justice your generosity—But I fear myself—Seek not let me repeat and looked a little wildly seek not kindest of men to entangle me with your Love
She bent her knee and I was afraid would have fainted I clasped my supporting arms about her
Let me let me cut short all I intended to say said she by referring to my paper The contents of that are not cannot be answered to my satisfaction Be my advocate to yourself to your own heart and seek not to entangle me with your Love
Whatever it cost me taking both her hands in mine and bowing upon them I will yield to your pleasure I never will urge you again on this subject unless your brother the Bishop give me hope of your welcome change of mind
Best of men said she withdrawing her hands and clasping them together—But this is not enough—You must promise me your future friendship You must let me call you Brother You must be my Tutor I your Pupil once more—Happy days were those The happiest of my life And encourage and confirm in me the resolution I have taken or I shall not be happy
Look upon me madam as your brother as your friend But this latter task requires more magnanimity than I am master of To your brother the Bishop and to Father Marescotti I must leave that task They will be in earnest in it I cannot because I am convinced in my own mind that we might have been happy—Could you—But I forbear tho with difficulty—I have promised not to urge you further
Indeed I have cousulted them both resumed she but not before I had given you my written determination Had they given their opinions different from what they did I never could have got over the apprehensions I have of your strength and my own
weakness I only consulted them in hopes they would as they could or thy had not been good Catholics confirm and strengthen my mind And why why should I punish the man I must for ever esteem as my best friend with a wife that her unhappy malady has made unworthy of him Dear Chevalier I find myself at times not recovered I may never be quite well You and yours deserve not to be punished but rewarded Believe me Sir this has been a second consideration with me God enable me to adhere to my resolution for his sake for your sake and for the sake of my own peace of mind
Must it not be difficult my dear Dr Bartlett more difficult than when I came over to Bologna to give up all hopes of so exalted a woman
But say Chevalier you are not angry with me Say that you do not that you will not think me ungrateful To obviate such a charge as that of ingratitude to a man who has laid us all under such obligations—What is it that I would not do
I cannot be displeased with you madam You cannot be ungrateful I must not speak Yet hardly know how to be silent I will take a walk in the garden I have a new lesson to learn
With profound reverence I withdrew She rang Camilla came in—
I hastened into the garden greatly dissatisfied with myself yet hardly knowing why I thought I wanted somebody to accuse somebody to blame—Yet how could it be Clementina But the words Narrow zeal—Sweet Enthusiast—as if I would find fault with her religion involuntarily slipt from me to myself
It is difficult my dear Dr Bartlett at the instant in which the heart finds itself disappointed of some darling hope to avoid reflexions that however can only be justified by selfpartiality What must I be if led as I have been by all her friends to hope I had not been earnest in my hope
The Bishop joined me in the garden—Excuse me Grandison said he for breaking in upon your contemplations But I was desirous to apologize to you for taking the liberty tho you allowed it to me of attending to what passed between you and my sister
I should my Lord have said everything I did say to your sister the occasion the same before your whole assembled family Your Lordship has therefore no apologies to make to me Heard you all that passed
I believe I did Those apartments were always the womens Camilla placed me in a closet that I knew not of where I heard every word you both said of the last part of your conversation I must ask you Chevalier—Is not Clementina—
Clementina my Lord is all that is great and good in woman You will imagine that it would have been much more easy for me to support myself under the resolution she has taken had I not had such testimonies of her magnanimity Permit me my Lord to say that I have one good quality I can admire goodness or greatness whereever I meet with it and whether it makes for me or against me Clementina has all my reverence
He made me compliments and withdrew
The Marquis the Count and the Marchioness afterwards joined me in the garden The Bishop and Father Marescotti not coming with them or presently after them I doubted not but they went to Clementina in order to applaud her for and confirm her in a resolution which must be agreeable to them I was right in my conjecture
The Marquis and Count each took my hand and first expressed their surprize at the young Ladys adherence to her resolution and next their high value of me The Marchioness observed
that her daughter with all her excellencies was ever difficult of persuasion when she had deliberately resolved upon any point
It was easy I said to see that they all now were of one opinion which was that Lady Clementina was not to be moved from her present purpose
They owned they were But said that if it were not mine they thought themselves bound in honour to consent that I should try by generous means and they were sure I would not think of any other to prevail upon her in my favour
I presume said I that the Bishop has already acquainted you with the substance of what passed just now between Lady Clementina and me
They were silent
Has not your Ladyship seen Lady Clementina since
I have And she is extremely uneasy She wishes you could be of our religion Could it have been so I for my part should rather have called the Chevalier Grandison my son than any man in the world Clementina told me added she I cannot but say with more composure than I could have expected tho not without tears that you promised to urge her no more on this subject She owns that more than once as you talked to her she could hardly forbear giving you her hand on your own terms But she says that you were the most generous of men when you saw she made a point of conscience of her adherence to her newlytaken resolution And now Chevalier having made my Lord and the Count acquainted with all these things we are come to advise with you what is to be done
Dear Grandison said the Marquis advise us We want an opportunity to shew you in more than words our gratitude for all your goodness to us We want to appease our Jeronymo who is ready to suspect that his Brother and Father Marescotti have contributed to this turn in our daughters mind And we want you to declare freely your own sentiments with regard to Clementina and whether you would advise us as well for her own sake as for yours to endeavour
to prevail on her to change her mind Dear creature a relapse would now be fatal to her and to her mother and me
I have no difficulty my Lord to answer to these points As to the first I am greatly rewarded by the pleasure I have in the more than could be hopedfor happy effects of Mr Lowthers skill and in the prospects that open to us of Lady Clementinas restored health of mind On this subject I have but one request to make It is that you will not mortify me so much as to suppose that I am not sufficiently rewarded
As to appeasing the generous mind of Signor Jeronymo let that task be Lady Clementinas She can plead conscience with more force for herself than any second person can do for her and if she does it will be a demonstration to us all of her being likely to be happy in her perseverance—More happy than I shall be The admirable Lady who has silenced on this head a man so deeply interested to contest this point with her will certainly be able to appease a brother by the same pleas and the sooner as being of the same religion with the lovely pleader her arguments will have greater force with him than they could be supposed to have on me For let me say my Lord that I could not so much as seem to give way to them had I not been accustomed when I was to judge of anothers actions to suppose myself that very person Hence have I often thought myself obliged to give judgement against my own wishes though on resumeing MYSELF I have not found reason to disapprove of my first expectation
As to the third point what can I say—And yet as your Lordship has put it does it not call upon me as I may say to give a proof of the disinterestedness I have mentioned I answer then as supposing myself in your situation—I cannot expect that you will urge an interest which I by having put myself into that
of Lady Clementina have promised not to urge unless she change her mind What plea can a parent make use of but that of filial duty And where the child can plead conscience in answer ought it to be insisted on
And now resuming MYSELF let me presume to advise you to give the dear Lady full time to consider and reconsider the case Her imagination may be heated In other words, her malady may have a share in the heroism she has so nobly exerted And yet I am afraid she will persevere Permit me my Lords to say afraid I cannot wholly divest myself of Self, in this very affecting case We will not therefore take her at her word I will absent myself for some time from Bologna but as she has the goodness to acknowlege an esteem for me with her leave I will return at my time I will repeat my absences if we have the least shadow of doubt But if she hold her purpose and shall not be visibly worse in her health or mind we may conclude her resolution unalterable In this case I shall have one or two requests to make you and if granted will endeavour to make myself as happy as a man in such a situation can be
They applauded my advice They declared themselves unwilling to think of giving up the pleasure they had brought themselves to have in considering me as one of their family and assured me that it would have been impossible that any the least difficulty should have arisen from them after they had brought themselves to dispense with the most material one
They were earnest with me to pass the evening with them But I excused myself I wanted to be at my own lodgings in order to revolve all that had passed But having not taken leave of Lady Clementina I imagined she might think I went away in ill humour if I forbore it My whole study I told them should be to make Lady Clementina easy And if the Marchioness
would be so good as to permit me to take leave of her for the evening in her presence I would depart only making my compliment to Signor Jeronymo by Mr Lowther knowing that he would be grieved for my disappointment and my mind not being at present easy enough to contend with his concern for me
The Michioness said she would see the way her Clementina was then in and acquaint me by Camilla with her wishes and then withdrew leaving the Marquis the Count and me together
Before we could renew our discourse the Bishop and Father Marescotti joined us both in high spirits They were excessively complaisant to me It was easy to guess at the occasion of their good humour I could not be greatly delighted with it But when the Count told them what had passed before they joined us the Bishop embraced me the Father unawares snatched my hand and kissed it
I was glad to be relieved from their compliments by the expected message from the Marchioness and Clementina
The young Lady met me as I entered at the door of her apartment She held out her hand to me I respectfully took it I saw she had been in tears But she looked with a serenity that I was glad to see tho I doubted not but it was partly owing to the conversation she had had since I left her with her brother and her confessor as well as to what might have passed between her mother and her
She led me to a chair between them both She withdrew not her hand and aimed at a more chearful countenance than I had a heart I congratulated her on her serenity It is in your power Sir said she to make me still more serene—Can you of a truth and from your heart approve of my present way of thinking Can you Chevalier—
I can admire you for it madam You have exalted yourself in my opinion But I must regret it—
Because—But I have promised not to urge you Your conscience madam is concerned—To endeavour but to persuade against conscience if you have no doubt of your motive is not warranted even in a parent
I am I think I am returned she absolutely sure of my motive But my dear mamma be pleased to put the questions I wished you to put to the Chevalier
She still suffered me to withhold her hand and with the other took out her handkerchief not to wipe away her tears but to hide her blushes She wept not Her bosom heaved with the grandeur of her sentiments
The question my dear Grandison said the Marchioness is this—We have all of us told my Clementina that you are invincible on the article of religion She believes us She doubts it not from your behaviour and words But as she would not omit any means to convince you of her high regard for you she is desirous to hear from your own lips that you are not to be convinced She is not afraid the article so important to hear you declare that you will not be a Catholic It will make her more easy upon reflexion to be told by you yourself that you cannot comply even were she to consent to be yours at a very short day if you could—
The exalted Lady stood up still not withdrawing her hand—False shame I despise thee said she Yet covered with blushes she turned her face from me—That hand as this heart putting her other hand to her throbbing bosom is yours on that one condition—I am convinced of your affection for me—But fear not to tell me it is for my own future peace of mind that I ask it that you cannot accept it on the terms She then withdrew her hand and would have gone from me But again I snatched it with both mine
Do you most excellent of human beings let me
ask you do you consider the inequality in the case between us as you are pleased to put it I presume not to require a change of principles in you You are only afraid of your perseverance tho you are to be left to your freedom and your confessor to strengthen and confirm you Of me is not an actual change required against conviction—Dearest Lady Clementina Can you can you your mind great and generous in every other case insist upon a condition so unequal—Be great throughout and I kneeled to her—Be uniformly noble—Withdraw not your hand—She struggled it however from me and hastening to her closet—Once more Chevalier said she read my paper
I left her and approaching the Marchioness who was in tears Judge me madam said I as I in your opinion deserve—What shall I say—I can urge my hopes no farther My promise is against me Clementina is despotic—Forgive me—But indeed Clementina is not impartial—
Dear Chevalier said the Marchioness giving me her hand what can I say—I admire you I glory in my child I could not myself in her place have withstood your plea When her imagination is cool I still question if she will hold her purpose—Propose to her if you can engage her to descend from these heights your intended absences—You must calm her You only can Her soul is wrought up to too high a pitch
O madam But I must first try to quiet my own
I withdrew into the room adjoining and in two or three minutes returning found the lovely daughter incircled by the arms of the indulgent mother both in tears Clementina was speaking These were the words I heard her say
Indeed my dearest mamma I am not angry with the Chevalier Why should I But he can allow for
me I cannot be so great as he Dont I say that I should be undone by his goodness
She turned her head and seeing me disengaged herself from her mothers arms and met me Allow for me Sir I beseech you said she I may be partial I believe I am But you can forgive me I will hope you can—Read my paper said I and went from you But it was not in anger Read it I again say I can give no other answer I never can be happy with a man whom I think a heretick and the moment I should in tenderness in duty think him not one I shall cease myself to be a Catholic A husband Sir allied to perdition what wife can bear the reflection
The Chevalier my dear urges you not He adheres to his promise You were willing to put a question to him yourself I consented that he should answer it in your presence for the sake of your future peace of mind He has spoken to it like himself He has shewn you how much he admires you at the same time that he signifies his inviolable adherence to his own religion My dearest Love he has conceded to terms in our favour that we have not conceded to in his Glorious and unexceptionable is his adherence were it to a right religion He believes it is He might urge much to his own advantage from your adherence to yours But he has only hinted at that to us not to you He is willing to wait the event of your own will He will leave us as he did more than once before and return and if you persevere he will endeavour to make himself easy—
And leave us and return to England I suppose
No doubt of it my dear—
While the Florentine is there—
I never madam can be any-thing but a wellwisher to the Florentine—
God give you Sir and me too ease of mind But I find my head overstrained It is bound round as with a cord I think putting her hands to each side
of it for a moment—You must leave me Sir But if you will see me tomorrow morning and tell me whither you intend to go and what you intend to do I shall be obliged to you Cannot we talk together Sir as brother and sister Or as tutor and pupil—Those were happy days Let us try to recover them
She put her hand to her forehead as apprehensive of disorder and looked discomposed I bowed to both Ladies in silence retired and without endeavouring to see anybody else went to my lodgings
Bologna Thursday July 1324
I Had a visit early this morning from the Count of Belvedere Be found me very much indisposed He had heard that I had met with some difficulties and attributed my indisposition to them
I owned that it might be so My life my Lord said I has not been so happy as might have been hoped for by a man who has made it his study to avoid giving offence either to man or woman and has endeavoured to restrain passions that otherwise might have been as unruly as those of other young men in my circumstances But I bless God I have resolution I may bend beneath a weight when it is first laid upon me But if I find I cannot shake it off I will endeavour to collect my strength and make myself easy under it Pardon me my Lord I do not often allow my mind to break out thus into words But I hold the Count of Belvedere for my friend
You do me honour said he And I came with a heart disposed to cultivate your friendship I thank you for your last goodness to me Your advice and gentle behaviour when I was not fit to be trusted with myself have saved me as far as I know from
final destruction To the last day of my life I shall confess obligation to you But dear Chevalier if some account of the difficulties you meet with will not be a renewal of grief now you are not very well—
It will not be so my Lord interrupted I since at present I can think of nothing else Yet putting myself in the place of every one of the family of Porretta I have nobody to blame but the contrary And I must admire Lady Clementina as one of the noblest of women
He was all impatience for further particulars
What may yet be the event I cannot tell proceeded I Therefore will only say that difference in religion is the difficulty with the Lady I am willing to allow her the full and free exercise of hers She insists upon a change of mine For the rest you my Lord want not friends among the principals of the family let them give you what account they think fit I would not scruple to gratify your curiosity could I give you a conclusive one
I am curious Chevalier said he I loved Clementina above all women before her illness I loved her not the less for her illness for then my Pity joined with my Love and added a tenderness to it of which I had not in equal degree been before sensible The treatment she met with and the self-interested cruelty of Lady Laurana heightened her illness and that I did not think it possible my Love In order to free her from that treatment and in hopes that a different one my hopes you see were not ill founded would restore her reason and that the happy result might be the defeating of the cruel Lauranas expectations I tenderd myself in marriage to her notwithstanding her illness But I must say that I never knew how much I loved her till I was apprehensive that not only I but Italy and her Religion were likely to lose her for ever And will you not allow of my curiosity now God give you Chevalier health
and happiness here and hereafter But may you never be the husband of Clementina but of some woman of your own country if there be one in it that can deserve you
The Count left me with this wish pronounced with earnestness And I suppose will visit the Bishop and Father Marescotti in order to gratify his curiosity
My indisposition requiring indulgence I sent a billet to the Marchioness excusing my attendance till the afternoon on the score of an unexpected engagement I was loth to mention that I was not very well lest it should be thought a loverlike artifice to move compassion I will not owe my success even with a Clementina to mean contrivances You know I have pride my dear friend—Pride which your example has not been able to subdue tho it has sometimes made me ashamed of it
One oClock
CAMILLA by direction of her two Ladies made me a visit about two hours ago They were alarmed at my postponing my attendance on Lady Clementina till the afternoon suspecting that the Count of Belvedere had unwelcomely engaged me and therefore sent the worthy woman to know the true cause Camilla observing that I looked ill I desired her to take no notice of it to anybody But she could not help acquainting the Marchioness with it who ordering her to forbear mentioning it to Clementina and Jeronymo was so good attended by Father Marescotti to make me a visit in person
Never was mother more tender to her own son than she was to me The Father expressed a paternal affection for me I made light of the illness being resolved if possible to attend them in the afternoon My mind my dear friend is disturbed I want to be at a certainty Yet from what the Marchioness hinted I believe I have no reason to doubt The
Father and the Bishop have spared no pains I dare say to strengthen the Ladys scruples Their whole study the Marchioness intimated is now in what menner to acknowlege their obligations to me
They owe me none
My dear Chevalier said she at parting take care of your health She put her hand on mine—Your precious health Dont think of coming out We will in turn attend you here
NOTWITHSTANDING the advice of the Marchioness I went to the palace of Porretta as soon as I thought their dinnertime was over Signor Jeronymo desired to be alone with me for a few minutes and when he was began upon the subject of the unexpected turn which his sister had taken I found that he had been acquainted with the truth of everything Not a single circumstance was omitted that might enable him to judge fairly of the whole
And will you Grandison can you my dear friend said he have the goodness to attend with patience the event of this dear girls heroism or what shall I call it
I assured him that the restoration of his sisters health of mind was the dearest to me of all considerations and that I came over at first with no other hopes than his recovery and hers resolved to leave to Providence all the rest
The Marchioness came in soon after and taking me aside chid me with tenderness even maternal for coming abroad The Marquis the Count the Bishop and Father Marescotti joined us and then they all as with one voice offered to use their interests with Clementina in my favour if either my peace of mind or my health were likely to be affected by her present resolution
While there was conscience in it I answered I would not for the world that she should be urged to change
it Nothing now as I believed remained to be done but to try the firmness of her resolution by first short and then longer absences And those I would propose to herself if they thought fit when I was next admitted to her presence
Jeronymo and all the family I saw were of one mind Tell me say my dear Dr Bartlett is it excusable in a man who has been so long favoured by your conversation and should have been benefited by your example who have behaved so greatly in disappointments and even persecutions to find in himself a pride that at the instant had almost carried him into petulance when he saw every one of this family appear to be more pleased than displeased that he was not likely to be allied to them—Who yet when he coolly considers and puts himself in the case of each individual of it must acknowlege that they might well be allowed to rejoice the great article of religion out of the question in the hope of keeping her among them in her native country and the more because of the unhappy disorder of her mind and out of a distant one obnoxious to them all as England is Would not my own father and mother would not I myself have equally rejoiced in such a turn in the affections of a sister of my own especially if we had complied with her principally from motives of compassion and contrary to the interests of our family
The Marchioness conducted me to the young Lady She received me with a blush as a person would do another whom she was sensible she had causelesly disappointed She took notice after the first emotion that I seemed not to be well and cast an eye of compassion on me A slight indisposition I said that might perhaps be owing to my late inactivity and want of exercise I had thoughts of once more making the tour of Italy in order to visit the many kind friends at different Courts who had honoured me with their notice during my former abode in Italy
How long do you propose to be absent Sir
Perhaps a month madam
A month Sir—She sighed and looked down
Signor Jeronymo I hope said I will correspond with me
I could almost wish said she—Pardon me madam to her mother—and looked bashfully down
What would my child wish
That I might correspond with the Chevalier in his absence—As his sister as his pupil I think I might—
You will do me madam the highest honour—Dear madam to the Marchioness may I not have your interest with Lady Clementina to engage her to pursue her kind hint
By all means My dearest Love it will not misbecome you in any character whether as pupil as sister or friend to write to such a man as the Chevalier Grandison
Perhaps then I may said she You madam shall see all that passes in this correspondence
That shall be as you please my Love I can absolutely depend upon the Chevaliers generosity and your prudence
I should choose madam said I that you should see all that passes As amusement is principally my view in this tour I can be punctual to place and time
But shall you be gone a month Sir
As much less madam as you shall command
Nay as things are circumstanced it is not for me—She stopt sighed and looked down
You madam are above unnecessary reserve I never yet abused a confidence I am proud of your good opinion I never will do any-thing to forfeit it Whatever shall be your pleasure that signify to me in the Letters you will favour me with I will be all grateful obedience
Whither Sir do you intend to go first
To Florence madam—
To Florence Sir—But Lady Olivia I think is not there—To Mrs Beaumont I suppose
I will send you madam from Florence the beginning Letter of the hopedfor correspondence I will be careful to be within distance of receiving your favour in a very short space by means of a servant whom I will leave at Florence to attend to our correspondence
And when Sir do you leave Bologna
I will now take leave of my new correspondent and my dear friends here and dispose myself for my little route
She looked at her mother then at me—again sighed blushed and looked down—Well Sir was all she said
Will you not drink chocolate with us tomorrow said the Marchioness
I excused myself As I was not well I thought I might be obliged to keep my chamber for two or three days and that therefore it was better to take leave of her then that I might not give them anxiety for their own sakes on a supposal that I owed my indisposition to my disappointment And yet Dr Bartlett—But you know my heart and all its imperfections And will you not on this extraordinary occasion allow me to give way to my native pride for my own sake Who but must admire the exalted mind of this young Lady What man would not wish her to be his—But to covet a relation to a family however illustrious however worthy every one of which wishes and with reason on his side that it may not take place—I must if possible—But a few weeks will now determine my fate—I will not leave them or myself if I can help it any cause of regret
I took a solemn leave of Clementina She wept at parting and dropping down on one knee prayed for a blessing to attend me whereever I went
Even had not my indisposition lowered my spirits
I should have been affected at the solemnity and grace of her manner The Marchioness was
I went from her to Jeronymo I left it to his mother to tell him all that had passed and took almost as ardent a leave of him I desired a visit from Mr Lowther And left my compliments for the rest of a family that I ever must highly respect
Thursday July 1324
I TOOK by advice a medicine overnight that composed me I had wanted rest I am much better and preparing for my journey to Florence I have returned answer that I am to enquiries made after my health by the whole family The Bishop excused his personal attendance on the Counts sudden resolution to set out for Urbino and insisting on his and Father Marescottis accompanying him thither for a few days
Camilla came to me from her two Ladies and the Marquis All three she told me were indisposed Their enquiries after my health were very tender The Marquis bid her tell me that he hoped to be well enough to make me a visit before I set out Jeronymo wished to see me first if I had opportunity But as I probably must if I go see Lady Clementina and another solemn parting will follow I think it will be best for both our sakes as well as for Jeronymos not to obey him and so I hinted by Camilla
The Count of Belvedere has made me a visit He is setting out for Parma Not one word passed his lips about Lady Clementina or her family He was very earnest with me to promise him a visit at his palace I gave him room to expect me By his silence on a subject so near his heart as well as by the very great respect he paid me I have no reason to doubt but he knows the situation I am in with Clementina She will have his prayers I dare say for perseverance in her present way of thinking Indeed now everybodys of her family—for who can doubt the Generals
She would have had mine to the same purpose the more sincerely had not they all joined to indulge my hopes and had she not given such instances of the noblest of female minds
But how great soever may be the occasion given me for fortitude by a resolution so unexpected by everybody from Lady Clementina I cannot be deprived of all pleasure since the contents of my last pacquets as well those from Paris as from England afford me a great deal
Everything is done at Paris that I could have wished in relation to Mr Danbys legacy
Lord W lets me know that he thinks himself every day happier than in the past with his Lady who also subscribes to the same acknowledgment
Our Beauchamp tells me that he wants only my company to make him the happiest of men He requests me to write a Letter of thanks in my own name to Lady Beauchamp on his dutiful acknowledgment to me of her kindness to him I will with pleasure comply and the sooner as I am sure that gratitude for past benefits and not expectation of new ones is his motive
He laments in postscript that his father is taken with a threatening disorder I am sorry for it Methinks I am interested in the life and health of Sir Harry Beauchamp I hope he will long enjoy the happiness of which his son says he is extremely sensible Should he die the Lady will be a great deal in my Beauchamps power large as her jointure is If he be not on such an event as obliging to her as he now is and forget not all past disobligations I shall not have the opinion of his heart that I now have Our Beauchamp wants but the trial of prosperity a much more arduous one than that of adversity to be upon full proof an excellent man
Lady Mansfield with equal joy and gratitude acquaints me that my presence in England is only
wanting to bring to a decision every point that now remains in debate with her adversaries the Keelings they having shewn themselves inclinable by the mediation of Sir John Lambton to compromise on the terms I had advised she should get proposed as from me and the wicked Bolton having also made proposals that perhaps ought to be accepted if he cannot be brought to amend them
Two of Emilys Letters of distant date are come together I will write to the dear girl by the next mail and let her know how much absence endears to me my friends
You give me joy my dear Dr Bartlett in acquainting me with the happiness of Lord and Lady G I will write to my Charlotte upon it and thank her for the credit she does me by her affectionate behaviour to that honest and obliging man
How happy are you my dear friend and Lord and Lady G and Emily at Miss Byrons I am charmed with the characters you give me of her family
But I have Letters brought by the same mail that are not so agreeable as those I have taken notice of They are from Lady Olivia and my poor cousin Grandison
That unhappy woman is to be my disturbance She is preparing she says to come back to Italy She execrates She threatens Poor woman But no more of her at present
My cousin is by this time I suppose at Paris He writes that he was on the point of setting out in pursuance of my advice and will wait there for my direction to proceed to Italy or not I shall write to him to continue there till he hears further from me and at the same time to some of my friends there to make France agreeable to him
I shall not perhaps write again very soon Letters from England will however find an easy access directed to me under cover to Mrs Beaumont at Florence as you know how
I shall be pretty much in motion if health permit I shall take a view of the works projecting by the duke of Modena in order to render his little Signory considerable I shall visit the Count of Belvedere at Parma Mrs Beaumont and her friends will have more of my company than any other persons Perhaps I may make a longrequested visit to the Altieri family at Urbino If I do I must not put a slight on the Conte della Porretta who pressingly invited me thither I think to pass a few days at Rome If I go from thence to Naples I shall perhaps once more in the Generals company visit Portici in order to make more accurate observations than I have hitherto done on those treasures of antiquity which have been discovered in the antient Herculaneum
I have a private intimation from Milan that a visit there would be a welcome one to Lady Sforza I may possibly take that city in my way when I quit Italy But how can I without indignation see the cruel Laurana
Thus my dear and reverend friend have I given you an imperfect sketch of my present intentions as to passing the month that I think of absenting myself from Bologna
It is a long time since I have been able to tell you aforehand with regard to some of the most material articles of my life what I will or will not do Yet knowing my own motives I cannot say that were the last three or four years of it to come over again I should have acted otherwise than I have done Do you my reverend friend with that freedom which has been of inexpressible use to me remind me if I am too ready to acquit myself You know I repeat all the secrets of my heart Be not partial to your sincere friend I write not to be praised but corrected Dont flatter my vanity I am yet but a young man You have not blamed me a great while I am for this reason a little diffident of the ground I stand upon
But if you have no material fault to recollect spare yourself the trouble of telling me so Having thus renewed my call upon you for your friendly admonition I will look upon your silence as an acquittal so far as I have gone And we will begin from the date of your next a new account In the mean time he not concerned for my health I am much better than I was My mind was weakened by suspense I long since thought the crisis near If it be not already overpast a few weeks must surely determine it I am not in haste to send this pacquet A week hence Sir Alexander Nesbit will set out directly for England He has a great desire of being acquainted with my dear Dr Bartlett and requests me to give him a commission that may introduce him to you Were my future destiny in this country absolutely determined I would not however have delayed sending you these Letters by a speedier conveyance
Sir Alexander is a worthy man As such wants not a recommendation to my dear and reverend friend from his
CHARLES GRANDISON
With the preceding seven Letters of Sir CHARLES
GrosuenorSquare Tuesday Aug 8
GOOD God my dear—I dispatch a pacquet to you received a few hours ago from Dr Bartlett with desire of forwarding it to you My sister was with me We read the Letters together I dispatch them by an express messenger—What shall we say? Tell me Harriet More suspense still Dear creature tell me tell me all you think of the contents
of this pacquet If I enter into the particulars I shall never have done scribbling Adieu my Love
CHARLOTTE G
Return the Letters when perused I want to study them before the Doctor has them back
Selbyhouse Friday Aug 11
TELL you my dear Lady G all I think of the contents of the pacquet you so kindly sent me by an express messenger—What will you say to me if I do I can much better tell you what all my friends here say of them They are for congratulating me upon those contents But can I congratulate myself Can I receive their congratulations A woman an angel—So much more worthy of Sir Charles Grandison than the poor Harriet Byron can be—O how great is Clementina how little am I in my own eyes The Lady will still be his She must She shall She will change her mind So earnest he So fervently in love with him she Who will presume to hope a place in his affections after her My pride my dear is all up Can I How mean will any one now appear in his eyes when he thinks of his Clementina And who can be contented with half a heart Nay not half a one if he does justice to this wonder of a woman It was always my consolation when I looked upon him as lost to myself that it was to a person of superior merit
But who can forbear pitying the glorious man O my dear I am lost in the subject I know not what to say Were I to tell you what I thought what were my emotions as I read now his generous pity for the Count of Belvedere—Now his affectionate and
respectful address to the noble Lady—Her agitations of mind previous to the delivery of her paper to him—That paper the contents so greatly surpassing all that I had read of woman Yet so much of a piece with the conduct she shewed when the struggle between her Religion and her Love cost her her reason His delicacy yet equal steadiness in his religion—In short the whole of his conduct and hers in the various lights in which they appeared in the different conversations with her with her family—Were I to tell you I say what I thought and what were my emotions as I read a volume would not be sufficient nor know I what measure would contain my tears Suffice it to say that I was not able to rise in two days and nights and it has been with the greatest difficulty that I obtained pen and ink and leave to write and the physician talks of confining me to my chamber for a week to come
Sir Charles cries out upon suspence Indeed it is a grievous thing
You will observe that in these last Letters he mentions me but once and that is in making me a compliment on the favour which the beloved Four conferred upon me and all of us in the visit you were so good as to make us And why do you think I take notice of this—Not from petulance I assure you But for the praise of his justice as well as delicacy For could Sir Charles Grandison excusably if on other occasions he remembred the poor girl whom he rescued could he excusably I say while his soul was agitated by his own suspence occasioned by the uncommon greatness of Clementinas behaviour think of any other woman in the world
But you see my Charlotta that the excellent man has been perhaps is greatly indisposed Can we wonder at it Such a prize in view so many difficulties overcome as he had to struggle with yet at last a seemingly insuperable one arising from the Lady herself
and from motives that increased his admiration of her But a woman may be eloquent from grief and disappointment when a man though his nobler heart is torn in pieces must hardly complain—How do I pity the distresses of a manly heart
But should this noble Lady on his return to Bologna after a months absence hold her purpose unless he changes his religion I will tell you my thoughts of what will probably be the result He will not marry at all If he cannot love another woman as well as he does Clementina ought he And who can equally deserve his Love Have we not heard from himself as well as from Dr Bartlett that all the troubles he has had have proceeded from our Sex It is true that men and women can hardly ever have any great troubles but what must arise from each other And his have arisen from good women too I hope Lady Olivia is not deliberately bad And why should so good a man continue to make himself subject to the petulance to the foibles of us wayward women who hardly know our own minds as Signor Jeronymo told his friend when our wishes are in our power
But sick or well you see Sir Charles Grandison loses not his spirit His enlarged heart can rejoice in the happiness of his friends I will have joy said he once to me And must he not have it in the hopes of the recovery of his friend Jeronymo In the restoration of the admirable Clementina And in the happiness those recoveries must give to a worthy and illustrious family Let me enumerate from him the pleasure he enjoys in the felicity he has given to many tho he cannot be in himself the happy person he makes others Is he not delighted with the happiness of Lord and Lady W Of his Beauchamp and his Beauchamps father and mother—Of Lady Mansfield and her family With yours and Lord Gs happiness Does it not rejoice you my dear to have it in your power to contribute to the pleasure
of such a brother And how great how honourable how considerate how delicate is his behaviour to the noble Clementina how patient how disinterested with her family How ready to enter into their sentiments and to allow for them tho against himself But he is prudent He sees before him at a great distance He is resolved to have nothing to reproach himself with in future that he can obviate at present But is not his conduct such as would make a considerate person who has any connections with him tremble Since if there be a fault between them it must be all that persons and he will not if it be possible for him to avoid it be a sharer in it Do you think my dear that had he been the first man he would have been so complaisant to his Eve as Milton makes Adam So contrary to that part of his character which made him accuse the woman to the Almighty a—To taste the forbidden fruit because he would not be separated from her in her punishment tho all posterity were to suffer by it—No it is my opinion that your brother would have had gallantry enough to his fallen spouse to have made him extremely regret her lapse but that he would have done his own duty were it but for the sake of posterity and left it to the Almighty if such had been his pleasure to have annihilated his first Eve and given him a second—But my dear do I not write strangely I would be chearful if I could because you are so kind as to take pains to make me so But on reperusing what I have written I am afraid that you have taught me to think oddly Tell me truth Charlotte Is not what has last slipt from my pen more in Lady Gs manner than in that of
Her HARRIET BYRON
One line more and no more my dear my indulgent aunt Selby—They wont let me write
on Charlotte when I had a thousand things further to say on the contents of this important pacquet or I should not have concluded so uncharacteristically
Florence July 1829
I Begin dear and admirable Lady Clementina the permitted correspondence with a due sense of the favour done me in it Yet can I say that it is not a painful favour Was ever man before circumstanced as I am—Permitted to admire the noblest and most amiable of women and even generously allowed to look upon himself as a man esteemed perhaps more than esteemed by her and her illustrious family yet in honour forbidden to solicit for a blessing that once was designed for him and which he is not accused of demeriting by misbehaviour or by assuming an appearance that he made not good—Excellent Lady Am I other than you ever had reason to think me in my manners in my principles Did I ever endeavour to unsettle you in your attachments to the religion of your country No madam Invincibly attached as I knew you were to that religion I contented myself with avowing my own and indeed should have thought it an ill requital for the protection I enjoyed from the civil and ecclesiastical powers and a breach of the Laws of hospitality had I attempted to unsettle the beloved daughter of a house so firmly likewise attached as they always were to their principles From such a conduct could this beloved daughter doubt the free exercise of her religion had she—
But hushed be the complainings that my expostulating
heart will hardly be denied to dictate to my pen Have I not said that I will be all you wish me to be—All hope or all acquiescence—Forgive me madam forgive me dear and evertobe respected family that yet I use the word hope Such a prize almost in possession—can I forbear to say hope—Yet do I not at the same time promise acquiescence—Painful as it is to me and impossible as it would be were not allcommanding conscience pleaded most excellent of women I will I do acquiesce If you persevere dear to my soul as you ever must be I resign to your will
The disappointed heart not given up to unmanly despair in a world so subject to disappointments will catch at the next good to that it has lost—Shall I not hope madam that a correspondence so allowably begun whatever be the issue in the greater event will for ever last That a friendship so pure will ever be allowed That the disappointed man may be considered as the Son the Brother of a family which must in all the branches of it be ever dear to him—I will hope it I will even demand the continuance of its esteem why should I not say of its affection But so long only as my own impartial heart and my zeal for the glory and happiness of your whole house shall tell me I deserve this and so long as I can make out my pretensions to the satisfaction of every one of it It cannot be on my side nor will I allow it on yours that the man who once by the favour of your whole family was likely to be happy in a near alliance to it should and perhaps for that reason as it often happens in like instances be looked upon as the most remote from its friendly Love
Never madam could the heart of man boast a more disinterested passion for an object, whose mind was dearer to it than even her person or a more sincere affection to every one of her family than mine does I am unhappily called upon to the proof The
proof is unquestionable And—To the last hour of my life you and they madam will be dear to me
Adieu most excellent of women—Circumstanced as I am what more can I say—Adieu most excellent of women—May every good temporal and eternal be yours and every ones of your beloved family prays
Your and their most grateful most affectionate and most obedient GRANDISON
Bologna Tuesday Aug 5 N S
I Was the more willing Sir to become your correspondent as I thought I could write to you with greater freedom than I could speak And indeed I will be very free and very sincere in all I shall write I will suppose that I am writing when I write to you to my Brother and best friend And indeed to which of my other brothers can I write with equal freedom—You in imitation of the God of us all require only the heart My heart shall be as open to you as if like Him you could look into every secret recess of it
I thank you Sir for the kind and generous contents of the Letter by which you have opened this desirable correspondence Such a regard have you paid in it to the weakness of my mind and to its late unhappy state without mentioning that unhappy state—O Sir you are the most delicate of men—What tenderness have you always shewn me for my attachment to the religion of my fathers—Surely you are the most pious of Protestants—Protestants can be pious
you and Mrs Beaumont have convinced me that they can Little did I think I should ever be brought to acknowlege so much in favour of the people of your religion as you and she by your goodness have brought me to acknowlege O Sir What might you not have brought me to by your Love by your kind treatment of me and by your irresistable address were I to have been yours and residing in a Protestant nation every one of your friends of that religion and all amiable and perhaps exemplarily good I was afraid of you Chevalier But no more of this subject You are invincible and I hope I should not have been overcome had I been yours—But do we not pray against running into temptation—Again I say no more of this subject at present yet hardly know how to forbear—
Nothing but the due consideration of the brevity as well as vanity of this life in which we are but probationers and of the eternity of the next could have influenced me to act against my heart Dear Chevalier how happy should I have been could I have given my hand as that heart would have directed and on such terms as I could have thought my Soul secure—How shall I quit this entangling subject I am in the midst of briars and thorns—Lend me lend me your extricating hand and conduct me into the smooth and pleasant path in which you at first found me walking with undoubting feet Never never for my sake let an unexperienced virgin trust herself with her own imagination when she begins to meditate with pleasure the great qualities of an object, with whom she has frequent opportunities of conversing
Again am I recurring to a subject I wish to quit But since I cannot I will give my pen its course—Pen take thy course Mind equally perverse and disturbed I will give way to thee I see there is no withstanding thee—
Tell me then my brother my friend my faithful
my disinterested friend what I shall do what method take to be indifferent to you in another character What I shall do to be able to look upon you only as my brother and friend—Can you not tell me Will you not Will not your Love of Clementina permit you to tell her—I will help you to words—Say
you are the friend of her Soul
If you cannot be a Catholic always be a Catholic when you advise her And then from your Love of her Soul you will be able to say
Persevere Clementina and I will not account you ungrateful
—
O Chevalier I fear nothing so much as being thought capable of ingratitude by those I Love And am I not can you think that I am not ungrateful Once you told me so Why if you mean me more than a compliment do you not tell me how to be grateful Are you the only man on earth who have it in your will and in your power to confer obligations yet can be above receiving returns What services did you endeavour to do to the Soul of a misguided youth at your first acquaintance with him—Unhappy youth And how did he at the time requite you for them He has let us know generous selfaccuser what heroic patience you had with him and how bravely you disdained his ungrateful defiance Well may he love you as he does After many many months discontinuance of friendship you were called upon to snatch him from the jaws of death by your bravery You were not requited as you might have expected from some of our family—What regret has the recollection cost us all—You were obliged to quit our Italy yet called upon as I may say by your wounded friend incurably wounded as it was apprehended you hastened to him You hastened to his sister wounded in her head in her heart You hastened to her father mother brothers wounded in their minds by the sufferings of that son and daughter And whence did you hasten to us From your
native country Quitting your relations all proud of your Love and proud of loving you on the wings of friendly zeal did you hasten to us in a distant region You encountered with you overcame a thousand obstacles The genius of healing in the form of a skilful operator accompanying you all the art of the physicians of your country did you collect to assist your noble purpose Success attended your generous wishes We see one another, a whole family see one another, with that delight which was wont to irradiate our countenances before disaster overclouded them
And now what return shall we make for your goodness to us You say you are already rewarded in the success with which God has blessed your generous endeavours to serve us Hence it is that I call you proud and at the same time happy Well do I know that it is not in the power of a wife to reward you For what could a wife do by such a man more than her duty And were it possible for Clementina to be yours would you that your kindness your Love to her should be rewarded at the price of her everlasting happiness—No you answer—You would leave to her the full and free exercise of her religion—And can you promise can you the Chevalier Grandison undertake if you think your wife in an error that you never will endeavour to cure her of that error You who as the husband ought to be the regulator of her conscience the strengthener of her mind—Can you believing your own religion a right one hers a wrong one be contented that she shall persevere in it Or can she avoid on the same and even still stricter principles entering into debate with you and will not then her faith from your superior understanding be endangered—Of what force will be my Confessors arguments against yours strengthened by your Love your kindness your sweetness of manners And how will all my family grieve
were Clementina to become indifferent to them to her country and more than indifferent to her religion
Say Grandison my tutor my friend my brother can you be indifferent on these weighty matters—O no you cannot My brother the Bishop has told me But be not angry with my brother for telling me that you did declare to my elder brother and him that you would not in a beginning address have granted to a princess the terms you were willing to grant me and that you offered them to me as a compromise—Compassion and Love were equally perhaps your inducements Poor Clementina—Yet were there not a greater obstacle in the way I would have accepted of your compassion because you are great and good and there can be no insult but true godlike pity in your compassion—Well Sir and do not my father my mother the best and most indulgent of fathers and mothers and do not my uncle and brothers and my other kindred comply with their Clementina upon the same affectionate the same pitying motive otherwise religion country the one so different the other so remote would they have consented—They would not Will you not then my dear Chevalier think that I do but right knowing your motive knowing theirs knowing that to rely upon my own strength is presumption and a tempting of the Almighty to act as I act to resolve as I have resolved—O do you my tutor be again my tutor—You never taught me a lesson that either of us might be ashamed to own—Do you as I have begged of you in my paper strengthen my mind I own to you that I have struggled much with myself And now I am got—above myself or beneath myself I know not whether—For my Letter is not such as I designed it You are too much the subject I designed only a few lines and those to express the grateful sense I have of your goodness to me and our Jeronymo indeed to everybody and to beg of you
for the sake of my peace of mind to point out some way by which I and all of us may demonstrate our attachment to our superior duties and our gratitude to you—
What have I said What a quantity have I written—Excuse my wandering head and believe me to be as much the well wisher of your glory as of my own
CLEMENTINA DELLA PORRETTA
Rome Aug 11 N S
NOTHING says the most generous and pious of her Sex but the due consideration of the brevity as well as vanity of this life and of the duration of the next could have influenced me to act against my heart
—Condescending goodness What acknowlegements do you make in my favour—But favour—can I say—No not in my favour but on the contrary to the extinction of all my hopes for what pleas remain to be urged when you doubt not my affection my gratitude my tenderness my good faith and think from them will arise your danger
My
extricating hand
at your command
is held out
and it shall not be my fault if you recover not the
smooth and pleasant path in which you were accustomed to walk with undoubting feet
You bid me
tell you what you shall do to be indifferent to me
—What pain does the gracious manner of your rejection give me Exalted goodness—
Your brother your friend your faithful your disinterested friend
will
tell you
against himself to the forfeiture of all his hopes
he will tell you
that you ought not
to give your hand as
your heart
condescending excellence
would have directed
if you cannot do it
and think your Soul secure
You
will help me to words
you say—I repeat them after you
Persevere Clementina—I will not I cannot account you ungrateful
How much does the dear the generous Clementina overrate the services which Heaven for my consolation so I will flatter myself in a very heavy disappointment that was to follow made me an humble instrument of rendering to the worthiest of families To that Heaven be all the glory By ascribing so much to the agent fear you not that you depreciate the First Cause Give to the Supreme His due and what will be left for me to claim What but a common service which any one of your family would in the like circumstances have done for me
It is generous it is noble in you madam to declare your regard for the man you refuse But what a restraint must I act under who value and must for ever value the fair refuser yet think myself bound in honour to acqiesce with the refusal and to prefer your peace of mind to my own To lay open my heart before you would give you pain I will not give you pain Yet let me say that the honour once designed me had it been conferred would have laid me under unreturnable obligations to as many persons as are of your family It was at one time an honour too great even for my ambition and that is one of the constitutional faults that I have found it most difficult to restrain But I will glory in their intended goodness and that I lost not their or your favour from any act of unworthiness—Continue to me most excellent Clementina continue to me Lords and Ladies of your illustrious house your friendship and I will endeavour to be satisfied
Your
tutor
as you are pleased to call him your friend your
BROTHER
too clearly do I see
the exclusive force of that last recognition owns that
he cannot be indifferent to those motives that have so great weight with you
He sees your stedfastness and that your conscience is engaged He submits therefore whatever the submission may cost him to your reasoning and repeats your words—
Persevere Clementina
I did tell your elder brother and I am ready to tell all the world
that I would not in a beginning address tho to a princess have signed to the articles I yielded to by way of compromise
Allow me madam to repeat his question to which my declaration was an answer—
What would the daughters have done that they should have been consigned to perdition a
—I had in my thoughts this further plea that our church admits of a possibility of salvation out of its own pale God forbid but it should The church of God we hold will be collected from the sincerely pious of all communions Yet I own that had the intended honour been done me I should have rejoiced that none but sons had blessed our nuptials
But how do your next words affect me—
Compassion and Love say you were equally perhaps your inducements—Poor Clementina
add you Inimitably great as what follows this is I should have thought myself concerned as well for my own honour as for your delicacy to have expatiated on the self-pitying reflexion conveyed in these words had we been otherwise circumstanced than we are But to write but one half of what in happier circumstances I would have written must as I have hinted give pain to your noble heart The excellent Clementina I am sure would not wish me to say much on this subject If she would I must not I cannot
The best of fathers mothers brothers and of spiritual directors in your own way are yours They
madam will strengthen your mind Their advices and their indulgent love will be your support in the resolution you have taken You call upon me again to approve of that resolution I do I must approve of it
The Lover of your soul
concludes with the repetition of the words you prescribe to his pen—If cooler reflexion if reconsideration of those arguments which persuaded me to hope that you would have been in no way unhappy or unsafe had you condescended to be mine—If mature and dispassionate thought cannot alter your present persuasion on this head—
Persevere Clementina
in the rejection of a man as steady in his own faith as you are in yours If your conscience is concerned—If your peace of mind is engaged—you ought to refuse
You cannot be thought ungrateful
—So against himself decides your calledupon and generously acknowleged
Tutor Friend Brother GRANDISON
Bologna Aug 19 N S
AND do you best of men consent to be governed by my wishes But are you convinced You do not say you are by my reasonings—Alas my reasoning powers are weakened My head has received an incurable wound My memory indeed seems returned but its return only serves to make me more sensible of my past unhappiness and to dread a relapse
But what is it I hear Olivia is come back to Florence and you are at Florence Fly from Florence and from Olivia—But whither will you go to avoid a woman who could follow you to England—Whither but to England—We are all of us apprehensive for the safety of your person if you refuse to be the
hushand of that violent woman Yet cannot I bear the thoughts of her being yours But that you have told me she never can be—Yet if you could be happy with her why should I be an enemy to her happiness—But to your own magnanimity I will leave this subject
Let me advise with my tutor my friend my brother on a point that is now much more my concern than Olivia and her hopes—Fain very fain would I take the viel My heart is in it My friends my dearest friends urge against my plea the dying request as well as the wishes while living of my grandfathers on both sides I am distressed I am greatly distressed for well do I know what were the views of the two good men now with God in wishing me not to assume the viel But could they foresee the calamity that was to befal their Clementina They could not I need not dwell upon the subject and upon the force of their pleas and mine to a man whose mind is capacious enough to take in the whole strength of both at once But you will add an obligation to the many you have already conferred upon me if you can join your weight to my pleas and make it your request that I may be obliged in this momentous article Let me expect that you can that you will They all languish for opportunities to oblige the man who has laid them under obligations not to be returned Need I to suggest a plea to you the force of which must be allowed from you if you ever with fervor loved Clementina
If I know my own heart and I have given it a strict examination two things granted me would make me as happy as I now can be in this life The one that my request to be allowed to sequester myself from the world and to dedicate myself to God be complied with The other to be assured of your happiness in marriage with an English at least not to an Italian woman I am obliged to own tho I am sensible
that I expose to you my weakness by the acknowlegement that the last is but too necessary to the tranquillity of my mind in the situation in which the grant of my first wish will please me Let me know Chevalier when I have set my hand to the plough that there is no looking back and that the only man I ever thought of with tenderness is anothers and were I not professed never could be mine Answer as I wish and I shall be able to follow you Sir with my prayers to the country that has the honour of producing such an ornament to human nature
It must not be known you will readily suppose that I have sought to interest you in my plea For this reason I have not shewn this Letter to anybody Father Marescotti I have hopes as a Religious will declare himself in my favour if you do My brother the Bishop surely will strengthen your hand and his tho he appears as the Brother not as the Prelate in support of the family reasons
I am not ashamed to say I long to see you Sir I can the more readily allow myself to tell you so as I can declare that I am unalterably determined in my adherence to my written resolution never to trust to my own strength in an article in which my everlasting welfare is concerned O Sir what struggles what conflicts did this resolution cost me before I could make it—But once made and upon such deliberation and after I had begged of God his direction which I imagine he has graciously given me I have never wished to alter it Forgive me Sir You will you are a good man—My God only have I preferred to you
CLEMENTINA DELLA PORRETTA
Florence Aug 23 N S
MY dear correspondent asks If I am convinced by her reasonings—I repeat That I resign to your will every hope every wish respecting myself In a case where conscience can be pleaded no other reasonings are necessary
But what can I say most excellent of women to the request you make that I will support you in your solicitude to take the veil I hope you only propose this to me by way of asking my advice—
Let me say you advise with my tutor my friend my brother
—I have given the highest instance that man could give of my disinterestedness and I will now as you require suppose myself a Catholic in the humble advice I shall offer to my sisterly friend and this will the rather appear as I should as a Protestant argue against any ones binding him or herself by vows of perpetual celibacy
Need I asks my dear correspondent suggest a plea for you to make the force of which must be allowed if ever you fervently loved Clementina
At what plea does the excellent Clementina hint Is it not at an Herodian one Why if ever she honoured her Grandison with her esteem does she not enforce the same plea with regard to him Can she avowing the esteem be so generous as to wish him to enter into the married state and even to insist upon it as a
step that would contribute to her future peace of mind yet hope to prevail upon him to make it his request that she may be secluded from a possibility of ever enjoying the same liberty Were I married and capable of wishing to fetter and restrain thus my wife in case of her surviving me I should think she ought to despise me for the narrowness of my heart What then is the plea that a young Lady in the bloom of beauty would put me upon making—And to whom—To her own relations who all languish as she expresses herself for opportunities to oblige him and who are extremely earnest to dissuade her from entering upon the measure she wishes him to promote Can he madam to use your own words in the solemn paper you give me think of taking such advantage of their generosity to him
But can Clementina della Porretta who is blest with the tenderest and most indulgent of parents and who has always gloried in her duty to them whose brothers love her with a disinterestedness that hardly any brothers before them have been able to shew can she in opposition to the will of her grandfathers wish to enter into a measure that must frustrate all their hopes from her for ever—Dear Lady consider
You my beloved correspondent who hold marriage as a sacrament surely cannot doubt but you may serve God in it with much greater efficacy than were you to sequester yourself from a world that wants such an example as you are able to give it But madam your parents propose not marriage to you They only at present beseech not command you they know the generosity of your heart not to take a step that must entirely frustrate all their hopes and put an option out of your own power should you change your mind Let me advise you madam disclaiming all interested views and from motives of a Love merely fraternal for such is your expectation from the man
you honour with your correspondence to set the hearts of relations so justly dear to you at ease and to leave to Providence the issue They never madam will compel you And give me leave to say that piety requires this of you Does not the Almighty everywhere in his word sanctify the reasonable commands of parents Does he not interest himself if I may so express myself in the performance of the silial duty May it not be justly said that to obey your parents is serve God Would the generous the nobleminded Clementina della Porretta narrow as I may say her piety by limiting it I speak now as if I were a Catholic and as if I thought there were some merit in secluding ones self from the world when she could at least equally serve God and benefit her own soul by obeying her parents by fulfilling the will of her deceased grandfathers and by obliging all her other near and dear relations Lady Clementina cannot resolve all the world into herself Shall I say there is often cowardice there is selfishness and perhaps in the worlds eye a too strong consession of disappointment in such seclusions
There are about you persons who can give this argument its full force—I cannot do it O my Clementina my sister my friend I cannot be so great so undivested in this instance as you can be—But I can be just I presume to say I cannot be ungenerous I tell you not what I hope to be enabled by your noble example in time to do because of the present tenderness of your health But you must not madam expect from me a conduct that you think it would become you to disavow Delicate as the female mind is and as is most particularly my dear correspondents that of the man on such an occasion as this should shew at least an equal delicacy For has he not her honour as a woman to protect as well as his own as a man to regard
Distress me not my dear Clementina add not I
should rather say to my distress by the declaration of yours I repeat that your parents will not compel you Put it not out of your power to be prevailed upon to do an act of duty God requires not that you should be dead to your friends in order to live to Him Their hope is laudable Will Lady Clementina della Porretta put it out even of the Almightys power to bless their hope Will she think herself unhappy if she cannot punish them instead of rewarding them for all their tender and indulgent goodness to her—It cannot be God Almighty perfect his own work so happily begun in the full restoration of your health This blessing I have no doubt will attend your filial obedience But can you my dear correspondent expect it if you make yourself uneasy and keep your mind in suspense as to your duty and indulge yourself in supposing that the will of God and the will of your parents are opposite when theirs is solely designed for your good spiritual and temporal A great deal now depends upon yourself O madam will you not in a smaller instance were your heart ever so much engaged to the cloistered life practise that selfdenial which in the highest you enforce upon me All your temporal duties against you and your spiritual not favouring much less impelling you
But once more I quit a subject that may and no doubt will be enforced in a much stronger manner than I can enforce it I will soon very soon pay my duty to you and all yours You own your wishes to see me because you are fortified by your invincible adherence to your resolution I will acknowlege anguish of heart I cannot as I told you above be so great as you But if you will permit your sisterly Love to have its full operation and if you wish me peace of mind and a cordial resignation to your will let me see you madam on the next visit I shall have the honour to make you chearful serene and determined to resign your will to the reasonable
will of parents who I am confident I again repeat it will never compel you to marry—Have they not already given you a very strong instance that they will not—In a word let me hear you declare that you will resign yourself to their will in this article of the veil and I shall then with the more chearfulness endeavour to resign to yours so strongly and repeatedly declared in the Letter before me to dear Lady
Your fraternal Friend and everobliged Servant GRANDISON
Lady Olivia madam arrived this day at her own palace It is impossible that any-thing but civility can pass between her and your greatlyfavoured correspondent
Bologna Thursday Aug 1728
I SHALL hereafter have a pretty large supplement to give you to my literary journal having found it necessary as much as possible in the past month to amuse myself with subjects without myself And I shall send you now the copies of three Letters of mine written in Italian to Lady Clementina and two of hers in answer to the first and second of them
I arrived here yesterday But before I proceed to acquaint you with my reception I should mention that Lady Olivia arrived at her own place at Florence on Friday last I was then in that city but newly returned from Naples and Rome She sent one of her gentlemen to me the night of her arrival to acquaint me with it and to desire me to attend her next morning I went
Her first reception of me was polite and agreeable But the moment her aunt Maffei withdrew and we
were alone her eyes darting a fiercer ray Wretch said she what disturbance what anxieties hast thou given me—But it is well that thy ingratitude to the creature who has risqued so much for thee has been rewarded as it ought to be by a repulse from a still prouder heart if possible than thy own
You Lady Olivia answered I have reason to impute pride to me You have given me many opportunities to shew you that I a man can keep my temper when you a woman have not been able to keep yours yet in me never met with an aggressor
Not an aggressor Sir—To say nothing of the contempts you cast upon me here in my own Italy what was your treatment of me in your England—Paltry island I despise it—To resolve to leave me there To refuse to compliment me with a day an hour O my detested weakness What a figure did I make among your friends And declaredly to attend the motions of the haughtiest woman in Europe Thank God for your own sake yes Sir I have the charity to say for your own sake that you are disappointed
I pity you Lady Olivia From my soul I pity you And should abhor myself were I capable of mingling insult with my pity But I leave you
Forgive me Chevalier catching my arm as I was going I am more displeased with myself than with you A creature that has rendered herself so cheap to you but Sir it is only to you cannot but be uneasy to herself and when she is she must misbehave to everybody else Say you forgive me—
She held out her hand to me But immediately on Lady Maffeis coming in followed by servants withdrew it
Her behaviour afterwards was that of the true passionate woman now ready to rave now in tears I cannot Dr Bartlett descend to particulars A man who loves the Sex who has more compassion than
vanity in his nature who can value even generally faulty persons for the qualities that are laudable in them must be desirous to draw a veil over the weaknesses of such I left her distressed There may be cases in which sincerity cannot be separated from unpoliteness I was obliged to be unpolite or I could not have been sincere and must have given such answers as would perhaps in some measure have intitled the Lady to think herself amused Poor woman She threatened to have me overtaken by her vengeance But now on the disappointment I had met with at Bologna it became absolutely necessary for me to encourage or to discourage this unhappy Lady—I could not have been just to her had I not been just to myself
A very extraordinary attempt was made next day on my person I am apt to believe from this quarter It succeeded not And as I was on the Tuesday to set out for Bologna I let it pass off without complaint or enquiry
I paid the Count of Belvedere a visit as I had promised The General at Naples and the Count at Parma received me with the highest civilities and both from the same motive The Count will hope The General accompanied me with his Lady part of my way to Florence The motive of his journey is to rejoice personally with his friends at Urbino and Bologna on the resolution his sister has taken and to congratulate her upon it as he has already done by Letter the copy of which he shewed me There were high compliments made me in it We may speak handsomely of the man whom we neither envy nor fear He would have loaded me with presents but I declined accepting any in such a manner however as he could not be dissatisfied with me for my refusal
I paid also my respects at Urbino to the Altieri family and the Conte della Porretta in my way to
Rome and Naples and met with a very polite reception from both For the rest of the time of my absence from Bologna my literary journal will account
On Wednesday afternoon I went to the palace of Porretta I hastened up to my Jeronymo with whom as also with Mr Lowther I had held a correspondence in my absence and received favourable intelligences from them
Jeronymo rejoiced to see me I was inexpressibly delighted to find him so much recovered His appetite he told me was restored His rest was balmy and refreshing He sat up several hours in the day and his sister and he gave joy to each other and to all their friends But he hinted to me his wishes still to call me brother and begged of God in a very earnest manner snatching my hand and wetting it with his tears that it still might be so
The Marquis the Marchioness the Bishop and Father Marescotti joined to thank and applaud me for my part of the correspondence with their beloved daughter for on my declining to support her in her wishes to be allowed to take the veil she had shewed them the copy of her second Letter as well as my reply to it The blessings which they poured out upon me were mingled with their tears and Father Marescotti and the Bishop declared that they would in every prayer they put up to Heaven for themselves and the Family remember me and beg of God to supply to me by another and even they said a better Clementina the disappointment I had so unexpectedly met with from theirs The General and his Lady and the Count arrived the day before But they were not present
While they were all complimenting and applauding the almost silent man for in so critical a situation what could I say Camilla came in and whispering the Marchioness Clementina said the Marchioness is impatient to see her friend Chevalier I will introduce you I followed her
The young Lady the moment she beheld me flew to me with open arms as to her brother her fourth brother as she called me and thanked me she said a thousand thousand times for my Letters to her My mamma said she has seen them all But ah Sir your third—I did not think you would have refused me your interest with my friends I cannot cannot give up that point It was always my wish madam turning to her mother to be Gods child that does not make me less yours and my papas O Chevalier you have not quieted you have not convinced my heart
I promise myself that I could have left you without a plea my dear correspondent returned I had my heart been at ease and the argument less affecting to myself And surely if Lady Clementina had been convinced she would have acted up to her conviction
O Sir you are a dangerous man I see if a certain event had taken place I should have been a lost creature—Are not you Sir convinced that I should in my notions of a lost creature If you are I hope you will act up to your conviction
Was this necessary to be said to me I think on recollection she halfsmiled when she said it
My dear Dr Bartlett you see Clementina could be pleasant on an occasion so solemn—But perhaps she saw me only affectedly chearful Little at present as she imagines it I think it not impossible that she may in time be brought to yield to the sense of her duty laid down by such powerful advocates as she has in her own family Whatever happens may it be happy to her and this family and then I cannot be wholly joyless What is there in this Life worth—But let me not be too abstracted This world if we can enjoy it with innocent chearfulness and be serviceable to our fellowcreatures is not to be despised even by a Philosopher
I hope madam said I to her that at least you suspend your wishes after the sequestred life She allowed the force of one or two of my arguments but I could perceive that she gave not up her hope of being complied with in her wishes to assume the veil
The General and his Lady and the Count being come in hastened up to pay their compliments to me How profuse were the two Gentlemen in theirs
At the Marchionesss motion we went to Jeronymo and found the Marquis the Bishop and Father Marescotti coming to us And then every one joining in their acknowlegements of obligation to me and wishing it in their power to make me as happy as they declared I had made them I said It was in their power I hoped to do me an unspeakable pleasure
They called upon me as with one voice It is answered I that my dear friend Jeronymo may be prevailed upon to accompany me to England Mr Lowther would think himself very happy in his attendance on him there rather than to stay here and yet if my request should not be granted he is determined not to leave him till he is supposed to be out of danger
They looked upon one another with eyes of pleasure and surprize Jeronymo wept I cannot cannot bear said he such a weight of obligation Grandison we can do nothing for you And you have brought me your Lowther to heal me that you might have the killing of me yourself
Clementinas eyes were filled with tears She went from us with some little precipitation
O Chevalier said the Marchioness my Clementinas heart is too susceptible for its own ease to impressions of gratitude You will quite kill the poor child—or make her repent her resolution
What is there but favour to me replied I if my
request can be complied with I hope my dear Jeronymo will not be unattended by others of his friends I have had the promises of the two young Lords Our baths are restorative I will attend you to them my dear Jeronymo The difference of air of climate may probably be tried with advantage Let me have the honour of entertaining you in England looking all round me and that I will consider as a full return of the obligations you think so highly of and are so solicitous to discharge
They looked upon one another, in silence
Would to God proceeded I that you my Lord and you madam directing myself to the father and mother would honour me as my guests for one season—You once had thoughts of it had a certain happy event taken place—I dare promise you both after the fatigues you have undergone a renewal of health from our salutary springs I should be but too happy if in such company a sister might be allowed to visit a brother—But if this be thought too great a favour that sister in your absence cannot but give and receive pleasure sometimes in visiting Mrs Beaumont at Florence sometimes her Brother and his Lady at Naples And I will engage my two Sisters and their Lords to accompany me in my attendance on you back to Bologna My Sisters will be delighted with the opportunity of visiting Italy and of paying their respects to a young Lady whose character they revere and to whom once their brother had hoped to give them the honour of a relation
They still continuing silent but none of them seeming displeased You will by such a favour my dear Lords and you madam to the Marchioness do me credit with myself as I may say I shall return to my native country if I go alone after the hopes you had all given me like a disappointed and rejected man My pride as well as my pleasure is concerned on this occasion My house in the country my house
in London shall be yours I will be either inmate or visiter at your pleasure No man loves his country better than I do But you will induce me to love it still better if by your compliance with my earnest request you shall be able to obtain either health or pleasure from a twelvemonths residence in it Oblige me my dear Lords oblige me madam were it but to give yourselves a new relish to your own country and palace on your return Our summers have not your fervid sun Our commerce gives us in the highest perfection all your justly boasted autumnal fruits Nor are our winters so cold as yours Oblige me for the approaching winter only and stay longer as you shall find inclination
Dearest Grandison said Jeronymo I will accept of your invitation the moment I am told that I may undertake the journey—
The journey my Lord interrupted I—Your cabin shall be made near as convenient to you as your chamber You shall be set ashore within half a league of my house in London God give us a pleasant voyage and in a few days time you will not know except by amended health and spirits that you are not in this your own chamber
Surely said the General my sister was right in her apprehensions that she should not be able to continue a Catholic had she been this mans I wish you my Lord you madam and Jeronymo would go You have had a long course of fatigues and troubles You love the Chevalier Winter with him however I have heard much of the efficacy of the English baths Clementina must not go My wife and I will make her as happy as possible in your absence And take Grandison at his word Bring him and his sisters back with you Their Lords I understand have been among us They will not be sorry to visit Italy a second time as no doubt they are men of taste—But when Chevalier do you think of going
The sooner the better were it but to take advantage of the fine season It will be but what mariners call a trip to England You will make me very happy You can have no other way of discharging the obligations you are so sollicitous about I will return with you The health of Lady Clementina I flatter myself will be quite confirmed by that time Signor Jeronymo I hope will be restored likewise What joy shall we be enabled to give one another:—
They took only till the morning to consult and give me an answer
MR Lowther and his collegues having been consulted gave it as their opinion that Jeronymo might be removed by litter to the nearest seaport and there embark for England but that it is most eligible to stay till the next spring by which time they hope the two old wounds may be safely cicatrized and the new one only kept open
But they all engaged that then not only Jeronymo and the two young Lords but some others of the family will be my guests in England and in the mean time that the Bishop and Father Marescotti will in turn correspond with me and acquaint me with all that passes here
Clementina drank chocolate with us She had been made acquainted with their determination and approved of the promises of a visit to be made me next year by some of the principals of the family What a hard circumstance is it whispered she as she sat next me that the person who would be most willing to go and I flatter myself would not be the least welcome must not be of the company I should have been glad to have made one visit to the country where the Chevalier Grandison was born
And what a perverseness thought I is there in custom that would not permit this kind explicitness in Lady Clementina were she not determined to consider the brother in the man before her rather than a still nearer relation By how many ways my dear Dr Bartlett may delicate minds express a denial—Negatives need not to be frowningly given nor affirmatives blushingly pronounced
Jeronymo and I being left alone he challenged me on the visible concern which he and every one as he said saw in my countenance on the turn his sister had taken Had it not been in my heart he was sure it would not have been there
Can you wonder at it my dear friend said I When I came over greatly as I thought of your sister I did not think she had been so great as she has shewn herself I admired her ever but I now more than admire her Taught to hope as I was and so unexpectedly disappointed as I have been I must have been more than man were I not very much affected
No doubt but you must and I am cordially concerned for your concern But my dear Grandison it is only God that she prefers to you She suffers more than you can do She has no other way she assures me to comfort herself but by indulging her hopes that she shall not live long—Dear creature She flatters herself that her reason is restored in answer to her fervent supplications which she says she put up to Heaven in all her lucid intervals that for the sake of her parents and brothers it might be restored and that then she might be taken to the arms of mercy But if your heart be deeply affected my Grandison—
It is Jeronymo I am not an insensible man But should now our dear Clementina be prevailed upon to descend from the height to which she has soared however my wishes might be gratified by the condescension yet while she believed her conscience would be wounded by it I could not but think it would be some
diminution to her glory And how as she has hinted in one of her letters to me would it be possible were I to see my beloved wife unhappy with her scruples to forbear endeavouring to quiet her mind by removing them And could this be effected without giving her an opinion of the religion I profess in opposition to hers And would not that subject me to a breach of articles O my dear Jeronymo Matters must stand just as they do except she could think more favourably of my religion and less favourably of her own
He began to talk of their obligations to me I declared that they could no other way give me pain Do not said I let this subject ever be again mentioned by you or any of the family Every one my dear Jeronymo is not called upon by the occasion as I have had the happiness to be Would my friend envy me this happiness
I wish Dr Bartlett with all my heart that I could think of any thing that I could accept of to make such grateful spirits easy It pains me to be placed by them in such a superior light as must give them pain What my dear Dr Bartlett can I do consistent with my notions of friendship to make their hearts easy
He was afraid he said that I should now soon think of leaving them
I told him that having no doubt of Lady Clementinas perseverance in her resolution and of her leave to return to my native country I should be glad for my own sake as well as the Ladys to be allowed to depart in a few days Mr Lowther as it would make Jeronymo as he had declared more easy would stay behind me But dismiss him my friend said I as soon as you can He had obtained abroad a happy competency and was returned to England when I first knew him with intent to enjoy it He is as rich as he wants to be and can gratisy only the natural benevolence of his heart by attending my dear friend
I hope to get him to accept of apartments with me in my London house and to fix his retirement if not with me in my paternal seat in its neighbourhood at least He has merit that is not confined to his profession But for what he has done for my Jeronymo he will always hold a prime place in my heart
It is true Dr Bartlett and I please myself that he will be found as worthy of your friendly love and my Beauchamps as of mine If I can at last be indulged in my long long hopedfor wish of settling in my native country with some tolerable tranquillity of mind I shall endeavour to draw around me such a ollection of worthies as shall make my neighbourhood one of the happiest spots in Britain
The Marchioness came up to us Clementina said she is apprehensive that you soon will leave us Her father and brothers are walking with her in the garden They will I dare say be glad of your company
I left Jeronymo and his mother together and joined the Marquis the General the Bishop and Clementina The Generals Lady and Father Marescotti were in another ally in earnest conversation
The Marquis made me a high compliment and after a few turns the Prelate led off his father and brother and left Clementina and me alone together
Were you not cruel Chevalier said she in your last Lettet to me not only to deny me your weight in the request my heart was and is still set upon but to strengthen their arguments against me Great use have some of my friends made of what you wrote O Sir you have won the heart of Giacomo but you have contributed to oppress that of his sister Indeed indeed I cannot be easy if I am denied the veil
Dear Lady Clementina remember that the full establishment of your health depends under God upon the quiet of your own mind Give not way I beseech you to uneasy apprehensions What daughter may rely upon the indulgence of a father and mother
what sister upon the affection of brothers if you may not upon yours You have seen how much their happiness depends upon your health Would you doubt the efficacy of that piety while you are in the world of which you have already Shall I say to my cost given an instance so glorious to yourself that the sufferer by it cannot help applauding you for it
O Chevalier Say not at your cost if you wish me to be easy
With the utmost difficulty have I restrained and do I restrain myself on these occasions I must however add on this a few words You have obliged me madam to give one of the greatest instances of self-denial that ever was given by man Let me beseech you dearest Lady Clementina for your own sake for the sake of your duty as well to the departed as to the living and may I add for my sake that you would decline this now favourite wish of your heart
She paused and at last said Well Sir I see I must not expect any favour from you on this subject Let us turn into that shaded ally And now Sir as to the other part of my request to you in my last Letter—It was not a request made on undeliberate motives
What is that madam
How shall I say it—Yet I will—If Chevalier you would banish from my heart—Again she stopt I thought not at that moment of what she meant
If you would make me easy—
Madam—
You must marry—Then Sir shall I not doubt of my adhering to my resolution But say not a word till I have told you that the Lady must be an English woman She must not be an Italian Olivia would not scruple to change her religion for you But Olivia must not be yours You could not be happy Ipersuade myself with Olivia Do you think you could
I bowed in confirmation of her opinion
I thought you could not Let not Clementina be disgraced in your choice of a wife I have a proud heart Let it not be said that the man of whom Clementina della Porretta thought with distinction undervalued himself in marriage
This Dr Bartlett was a request of the same generous import that she mentioned in her resverie before I left Italy How consistently delicate She had tears in her eyes as she spoke I was too much affected with her generosity to interrupt her
If you marry Sir I shall perhaps be allowed to be one in the party that will make you a visit in England My sisterinlaw has within this hour wished to be one She will endeavour to prevail upon her Lord He can deny her nothing to accompany her You will be able to induce Mrs Beaumont once more to visit her native country You and your Lady and perhaps your Sisters and their Lords will return with us Thus shall we be as one family If I am not to be obliged in another wish I must in this And this must be in your power And will you not make me easy
Admirable Clementina Who can be so great as you Such tenderness as I read in your eyes such magnanimity never before met in woman You can do everything that is noble—But that very greatness of soul attaches me to you and makes it at least while I am an admiring witness of your excellence—
Hush Chevalier Not a word more on this subject It affects me more than I wish it did I am aftaid I am chargeable with affectation—But you must however marry I shall not be easy while you are unmarried—When I know it is not possible to be—But no more of this subject now—How long is it that we are to have you among us
If I have no hopes madam—
Dear Chevalier speak not in this strain—She turned her face from me
The sooner the better—But your pleasure madam—
I thank you Sir—But did I not tell you that I have pride Chevalier—Ah Sir you have long ago found it out Pride will do greater things for women than Reason can—Let us walk to that seat and I will tell you more of my pride
She sat down and making me sit by her—I will talk to these myrtles fancifully said she turning her head from me
Shall the Chevalier Grandison be acquainted with the weakness of thy heart Clementina—Shall he in compassion to thy weakness leave his native country and come over to thee—Shall the success that has attended his generous effort shew his power to the confirmation of thy weakness—Shalt thou enabled by the divine goodness to take a resolution becoming they character be doubtful whether thou canst adhere to it and give him room to think thee doubtful—Shall he in consequence of this doubtfulness make officious absences to try thy strength of mind—And shalt thou fail in the trial his compassionate generosity puts thee to
—No Clementina
Then turning to me with a downcast eye—I thank you Sir for all the instances of generous compassion you have shewn me My unhappy disorder had intitled me in some measure to it It was the hand of God Perhaps a punishment for my pride and I submit to it Nor am I ashamed to acknowlege the kindness of your compassion to me I will retain a grateful sense of it to the last hour of my life I wish to be remembred by you with tenderness to the last hour of yours I may not live long I will therefore yield to your request so earnestly made and to the wishes of my dearest friends in suspending at least my own I will hope to see you in the happy state I have hinted at in England and afterwards in Italy I will suppose you of my family I will suppose myself of
yours On these suppositions in these hopes I can part with you as if I live it will be a temporary parting only an absence of a few months And have I not behaved well for the whole last month and several days over tho I reckoned to myself the time as it passed more than once every day as so much elapsed and nearer to the time of your return—I own it blushing—And now Sir I return to you the option you offered me Be the day the solemn day at your nomination—Your Sister Clementina will surrender you up to her Sisters and yours—O Sir listing up her eyes to me and beholding an emotion in me which I tried to conceal but could not how good how compassionate how affectionate you are—But name to me now your day This seat when you are far far distant from me shall be a seat consecrated to the remembrance of your tenderness I will visit it every day nor shall the summers sun nor the winters frost keep me from it
It will be best taking her hand admirable Lady it will be best for us both for me I am sure it will that the solemn day be early Next Monday morning let me set out—Sunday evening—The day on my part shall be a day passed in imploring health happiness and every blessing on my dearest Clementina on our Jeronymo and their whole family and for a happy meeting to us all in England—SUNDAY EVENING if you please I will—I could not speak out the sentence
She burst into tears reclined her face on my shoulder—her bosom heaved—and she sobbed out—Oh Chevalier—Must must—But be it—Be it so—And God Almighty strengthen the minds of both
The Marchioness who was coming towards us saw at distance the emotion of her beloved daughter and fearing she was sainting hastened to her and clasping her arms about her—My child my Clementina said she—Why these streaming eyes Look upon me Love
Ah madam The day the day is set—Next Monday—The Chevalier will leave Bologna
God forbid—Chevalier you will not so soon leave us My dear we will prevail upon the Chevalier—
I arose and walked into a cross alley from them I was greatly affected—O Dr Bartlett These good women—Why have I a heart so susceptible yet such demands upon it for fortitude
The General the Bishop and Father Marescotti came to me I briefly recounted to them the substance of the conversation that had passed between Lady Clementina and me The Marquis joined his Lady and daughter and Clementina in her tender way gave her father and mother an account of the same
The Marquis and his Lady leaving her to her Camilla joined us O Chevalier said the Marquis how can we think of parting with you—And so soon—You will not so suddenly leave us
Not if Lady Clementina commands the contrary If she do not the sooner the better it will be for me I cannot bear her generous excellence She is the most exalted of women—See the dear Lady before us leaning on her Camilla as if she wanted support
My sister and you Chevalier said the General will no doubt correspond We shall none of us deny her that liberty As she has already expressed to you her wishes that you would marry may we not hope that you will try your influence over her upon the same subject in your future Letters The marriage of either will answer the end she proposes to herself by urging yours
Good Heaven thought I—Do they believe me absolutely divested of human passions—I have been at continual war as you know Dr Bartlett with the most ungovernable of mine but without wishing to overcome the tender susceptibilities which properly directed are the glory of the human nature
This is too much to be asked said the young Marchioness How can this be expected
You know not madam said the Bishop supporting his brothers wishes what the Chevalier Grandison can do to make a whole family happy tho against himself
Lady Clementina said the equally unfeeling tho good Father Marescotti thinks she is under the divine direction in the resolution she has taken This world and all its glories are but of second consideration with her Were it to cost her her life I am confident she would not alter it As therefore the Chevalier can have no hopes—
I cannot ask this said the Marquis You see how hard a task referring to me—O that the great obstacle could be removed My dear Grandison taking my hand cannot cannot—But I dare not ask—If it could my own sons would not be more dear to me than you
My Lord you honour me You engage my utmost gratitude It is with difficulty that I am able to adhere to my engagement not to press her to be mine when I have the honour to be with her I have wished her to resign her will to that of her father and mother as you have seen knowing the consequence I am persuaded that if either were to marry the other would be more easy in mind and I had much rather follow her example than set her one—You will see what my return to my native country will do for us both But she must not be precipitated If she is her wishes to take the veil may be resumed Punctilio will join with her piety and if not complied with she may then again be unhappy
They agreed to follow my advice to have patience and leave the issue to time
I left them and went to Jeronymo I communicated to him what had passed and the early day I
had named for setting out on my return to England This I did with as much tenderness as possible Yet his concern was so great upon it that it added much to mine and I was forced with some precipitation to quit his chamber and the house and to retire to my lodgings in order to compose myself
And thus my dear Dr Bartlett is the day of my setting out fixed I hope I shall not be induced to alter it Mrs Beaumont I know will excuse me going back to Florence Olivia must I hope she will I shall write to both
I shall take my route thro Modena Parma Placentia Lady Sforza has desired an interview with me I hope she will meet me at Pavia or Turin If not I will attend her at Milan I promised to pay her a visit before I quitted Italy But as her request to see me was made while it was thought there might have been a relation between us I suppose the interview now can mean nothing but civility I hope if I see her her cruel daughter will not be present
Parma Monday Night Aug 21 Monday Night Sept 1
HERE I am my dear Dr Bartlett Just arrived
The Count of Belvedere allows me to be alone I am not fit for company
The whole family Jeronymo and Clementina excepted dined with me on Saturday Clementina was not well enough to leave her chamber She would endeavour she said on Sunday right when I was to take my leave of them all to behave with as much presence of mind as she did on a former occasion All the intervenient time she said was necessary to fortify her heart But alas the circumstances between
us then and now were not the same We had for some time past been allowedly too dear to each other to appear either of us so politely distant as we did then
She never once asked me to suspend the day of my departure Every one else repeatedly did We both thought it best as the separation was necessary that it should not be suspended
I had many things to do many Letters to write much to say to Mr Lowther and he to me I declined therefore their invitation to attend them home in the evening as well as to dine with them next day The solemn visit was to be made yesterday in the evening and every visit near the time would have been as so many farewels My own heart at least told me so and forbad me more than one parting scene The time so near they themselves wished it past
The Count had come from Urbino on purpose with the two young Lords to take leave of me What blessings did that nobleman and the Marquis and Marchioness invoke upon me The General had more than once tears in his eyes He besought me to forgive him for everything in his behaviour that had been disagreeable to me His Lady permitted me to take leave of her in the most affectionate manner and said that she hoped to prevail on her Lord to visit me himself and to allow her to bear him company in my own country The Bishop supplicated Heaven to reward me for what he called my goodness to their family Father Marescotti joined in his supplications with a bent knee The Marquis and Marchioness both wept and called me by very endearing names vowing everlasting love and gratitude to me Jeronymo my dear Jeronymo one of the most amiable of men how precious to my soul will ever be the remembrance of his friendly Love His only consolation was and it is mine that in a few
months we shall meet in England They wanted to load me with presents They pained me with their importunities that I would accept of some very valuable ones They saw my pain and in pity to me declined their generous solicitations
Clementina was not present at this parting scene She had shut herself up for the greatest part of the day Her mother and her sisterinlaw had been her only visiters And she having declared that she was afraid of seeing me it was proposed to me whether it were not best for me to depart without seeing her I can well spare to myself said I the emotions which already so great will on taking leave of her be too powerful for my heart if you think that when I am gone she will not wish as once she was so earnest even to discomposure for a farewel visit that she had allowed herself to see me
They all were then of opinion that she should be prevailed upon Camilla at that instant came down with her Ladys desire that I would attend her In what way Camilla is my Clementina asked the Marchioness Everyone attending the answer In great grief madam Almost in agonies She was sending me down with her warmest wishes to the Chevalier and with her excuses but called me back saying she would subdue herself She would see him And bid me hasten for fear he should be gone
The two Marchionesses went up directly I was in tremors Surely thought I I am the weakest of men—The Bishop and General took notice of my emotion and pitied me They all joined in the wish so often repeated that I could yet be theirs
I followed Camilla Lady Clementina when I entered sat between the mother and sister an arm round each of their necks Her face was reclined as if she were ready to faint on the bosom of her mother who held her salts to her I was halfway in the room before either mother or daughter saw me
The Chevalier Grandison my best sister said the young Marchioness Look up my Love
She reaised her head Then stood up courtesied and gushing into tears turned her face from me
I approached her Her mother gave me the hand of her Clementina—Comfort her comfort my Clementina good Chevalier—You only can—Sit down my Love Take my seat Sir
The young Lady trembled She sat down Her mother seated herself tears in her eyes I sat down by Clementina The dear Lady sobbed and the more as she endeavoured to suppress her emotion
I addressed myself to her sisterinlaw who had kept her seat—Your Ladyship said I gives me a very high pleasure in the hope of seeing you and your Lord a few months hence in company with my Jeronymo What a blessing is it to us all that that dear friend is so well recovered I have no doubt but change of climate and our salutary springs will do wonders for him Let us by our patience and resignation intitle ourselves to greater blessings the consequence as I hope of those we have already received
Please God I will see you in England Chevalier said the young Marchioness if my Lord is in the least favourable to my wishes And I hope my beloved sister may be of the party You madam and the Marquis I hope—looking at her motherinlaw
I hope you will not go without us my dear replied the Marchionss If our dear Clementina shall be well we will not leave her behind us
Ah madam—Ah Sir—said Clementina how you flatter me But this this night if the Chevalier goes early in the morning is the last time I shall ever see him
God forbid replied I—I hope that we may many many years rejoice in each others friendship Let us look forward with what pleasure we may My heart madam wants your comfortings I have a greater
opinion of your magnanimity than I have reason to have of my own I depart not but in consequence of your will—Enable me by your example to sustain that consequence In everything you must be an example to me I could not have done as you have done Bid me support my spirits in the hope of seeing you again and seeing you happy Tell me that your endeavours shall not be wanting to be so And I shall then be so too Dear Lady Clementina my happiness is bound up with yours
Ah Sir I am not greater than you And I am less than myself I was afraid when I came to the trial—But is your happiness bound up with mine O that I may be happy for your sake I will endeavour to make myself so You have given me a motive Best of men How much am I obliged to you Will you cherish my remembrance Will you forgive all my foibles—The trouble I have given you—I know you depart in consequence of my—Perverseness—perhaps you think it tho you will not call so—What shall I do if you think me either perverse or ungrateful
I do not I cannot think you either May I be assured of your correspondence madam Your Ladyship turning to her mother will give it your countenance—
By all means answered the Marchioness We shall all correspond with you We shall pray for you and bless you every day that we live You will be to me as you have always been a fourth son—My dearest Clementina say if your mind is changed if it be likely to change if you think that you shall not be happy if the Chevalier—
O madam permit me to withdraw for one moment
She hurried to her closet She shut the door and poured out her soul in prayer and soon returning—It must be so—with an air of as•amed greatness Let
thy steadiness O Grandison excuse and keep mine in countenance—Bear witness my sister forgive me my mamma But never did one mortal love another as I do the man before us But you both and you my dear Chevalier know the competition and shall not the UNSEEN casting up her eyes surcharged with tears be greater with me than the seen Be you my brother my friend and the lover of my soul This person is unworthy of you The mind that animates it is broken disturbed—Pray for me as I will for you—
Then dropping down on one knee God preserve and convert thee best of Protestants and worthiest of men Guide thy footsteps and bless thee in thy future and better lot But if the woman whom thou shalt distinguish by thy choice loves thee not person and mind as well as she before thee she deserves thee not
I would have raised her but she would not be raised—seeming full of some other great sentiments I kneeled to her clasping my arms about her May you madam be ever ever happy—I resign to your will—And equally admire and reverence you for it though a sufferer by it Lasting as fervent be our friendship—And may we know each other hereafter in a place where all is harmony and love where no difference in opinion can sunder as now persons otherwise formed to promote each others happiness
I raised her and arose and kissing first one hand then the other and bowing to the two Marchionesses was hastening from her
She clapt her hands together—He is gone—O stay stay Chevalier—And will you go—
I was in too much emotion to wish to be seen—She hastened after me to the stairs—O stay stay I have not said half I had to say—
I returned and taking her hand bowed upon it to conceal my sensibility—What further commands
with a faltering voice has Lady Clementina for her Grandison
I dont know—But will you must you will you go
I go I stay I have no will but yours madam
The two Marchionesses stood together rapt in silent attention leaning on each other
Clementina sighed sobbed wept then turning from me then towards me but not withdrawing her hand I thought said she I had a thousand things to say—But I have lost them all—Go thou in peace and be happy And God Almighty make me so Adieu dearest of men
She condescendingly inclined her cheek to me I saluted her but could not utter to her what yet was upon my lips to speak
She withdrew her hand She seemed to want support Her mother and sister hastened to her I stopt at the door Her eyes pursued my motions By her uplifted hands she seemed praying for me I was apprehensive of her fainting I hastened towards her but restraining myself just as I had reached her again hurried to the door And on my knees with clasped hands audibly there besought God to sustain support preserve the noble Clementina And seeing her seated in the arms of both Ladies I withdrew to Mr Lowthers apartment and shut myself in for a few moments When a little recovered I could not but step in to my Jeronyme He was alone drying his eyes as he sat But seeing me enter he burst out into fresh tears Once more my Jeronymo—I would have comforted him but wanted comfort myself
O my Grandison embracing me as I did him—
CLEMENTINA The angel CLEMENTINA Ah my Jeronymo—Grief again denied me further speech for a moment I saw that my emotion increased his—Love love said I the dear—I would have added CLEMENTINA
but my trembling lips refused distinct utterance to the word—I tore myself from his embrace and with precipitation left the tenderest of friends
About eleven according to the English numbering of the hours I sent to know how the whole family did Father Marescotti returned with my servant He told me that the Lady fainted away after I was gone But went to rest as soon as recovered They all were in grief he said He was charged with the best wishes and with the blessings of every one with those of the two Marchionesses in particular Signor Jeronymo was so ill that one of his Italian surgeons proposed to fit up with him all night for Mr Lowther had desired to accompany me as far as Modena And him I charged with my compliments to each person of the family and with my remembrances to servants who well deserved kindness from me and who Father Marescotti told me were all in tears on my departure I prevailed on the Father himself to make my acknowlegements to the good Camilla He offered and I thankfully accepted of his prayers for my health and happiness which he put up in the most servent manner on his knees and then embracing me with a tenderness truly paternal we parted blessing each other
This morning early I set out The Count of Belvedere rejoiced to see me and called me kind for being his guest though but for one night for I shall pursue my journey in the morning He assures me that he will make me a visit in England
You will hardly till I arrive at Paris have another Letter my dear Dr Bartlett from
Your everaffectionate CHARLES GRANDISON
Paris Aug 31 Paris Sept 11
I Set out from Parma early on Tuesday morning as I intended The Count of Belvedere was so obliging as to accompany me to Pavia where we parted with mutual civilities
I paid my respects to Lady Sforza at Milan as I had promised She received me with great politeness Our conversation chiefly turned on the differences between the other branches of her family on one part and herself and Lady Laurana on the other She owned that when she sent to desire a visit from me she had supposed that the alliance between them and me was a thing concluded upon and that she intended by my mediation to reconcile herself to the family if they would meet her halfway
She was so indiscreet as they lay general blame on her noble niece as a person given up to a zeal that wanted government She threw out hints injurious to the sincerity of the three brothers as well as to that of the father and mother with regard to me All which I discountenanced
I have hardly ever conversed with a woman so artful as Lady Sforza I wonder not that she had the address to fire the Count of Belvedere with impatience and to set him on seeking to provoke me to an act of rashness which after what had happened between me and the young Count Altieri some years ago at Verona might have been fatal to one if not to both and by that means rid Italy if not the world of me and at the same time revenged herself on the Count for rejecting her daughter who as I have told you before has a passion for him in a
manner that she called too contemptuous to be passed over
She told me that she doubted not now that I had been circumvented by what even she an Italian called Italian finesse but her niece would be prevailed upon to marry the Count and bid me mind her words Ah my poor Laurana added she—But I will renounce her if she can be so mean as to retain Love for a man who despises her
A convent she said after such a malady as Clementina had been afflicted with would be the fittest place for her She ascribed to hers and Lauranas treatment of her with great vehemence on my disallowing her assertion the foundation of her cure She wished that were Clementina to marry it might have been me preferably to any other man since the Love she bore me was most likely to complete her recovery which was not to be expected were she to marry a man to whom she was indifferent—But added she they must take their own way
Lady Laurana was on a visit at the Borromean palace Her mother sent for her unknown to me I could very well have excused the compliment I was civil however I could be no more than civil And after a stay of two hours pursued my route
Nothing remarkable happened in my journey I wrote to Jeronymo and his beloved Sister from Lyons
At the posthouse there I found a servant of Lady Olivia with a Letter He was ordered to overtake and give it into my own hands were he to travel with it to Paris or even to England Lady Olivia will be obeyed The man missed me by my going to visit Lady Sforza at Milan I inclosed the Letter as also a copy of mine to which it is an answer When you read them you will be of opinion that they ought not to pass your own hands Perhaps you will choose to read them in this place
Bologna Saturday Aug 1930
NOW at last is the day approaching that the writer of this will be allowed to consider himself wholly as an Englishman He is preparing to take perhaps an everlasting leave of Italy But could he do this and not first bid adieu to two Ladies at Florence whose welfare will be ever dear to him—Lady Olivia and Mrs Beaumont It must be to both by Letter
I told you madam when I last attended you that possibly I should never see you more If I told you so in anger pardon me Now in a farewel Letter I would not upbraid you I will be all in fault if you please I never incurred the displeasure of Olivia but I was more concerned for her than for what I suffered from it and yet her displeasure was not a matter of indifference to me
I wish not madam for my own happiness with more sincerity than I do for yours Would to Heaven it were in my power to promote it I will flatter myself that my true regard for your honour daughter as you are of a house next to princely and of fortune more than princely will give me an influence which will awaken you to your glory Allow madam the friendly the brotherly expostulation—Let me think let me speak of Olivia in absence as a fond brother would of a sister most dear to him I will so speak so think of you madam when far distant from you When I remember my Italian friends it will always be with tender blessings and the most affectionate gratitude Allow me Olivia to number you with the dearest of those friends Your honour your welfare present and future is and ever will be the object of my vows
God and nature have done their parts by you Let not your own be wanting To what purpose live we if not to grow wiser and to subdue our passions Dear Lady Illustrious woman How often have you been subdued by the violence of yours and to what submissions has your generous repentance subjected you even to your inferiors Let me not be thought a boaster—But I will presume to say that I am the rather intitled to advise as I have made it my endeavour and I bless God have not been always unsuccessful to curb my passions They are naturally violent What do I owe to the advice of an excellent man whom I early set up as my monitor Let me in this Letter be yours
Your situation in life your high birth your illustrious line of ancestors are so many calls upon you in whom the riches and the consequence of so many noble progenitors centre to act worthy of their names of their dignities of your own and of the dignity of your Sex The world looks up to you your education too so greatly beyond that of most Italian Ladies with the expectation of an example—Yet have not evil reports already gone out upon your last excursion The world will not see with our eyes nor judge as we would have it and as we sometimes know it ought to judge My visit to Italy when you were absent from it and in England was of service to your fame The malignant world at present holds itself suspended in its censures and expects from your suture conduct either a confutation or a confirmation of them It is, therefore, still in your power rejoice madam that it is for ever to establish or for ever to depreciate your character in the judgment both of friends and enemies
How often have I seen passion and evenrage deform features that are really lovely Shall it be said that your great fortune your abundance has been a snare to you That you would have been a happier nay
a better woman had not God so bountifully blessed you
Can your uatural generosity of temper allow you to bear such an imputation as that the want of power only can keep you within the limits Pardon Olivia the lover of your fame which the gentleness of your Sex which true honour prescribe
You are a young Lady Three fourths of your natural life Heaven permitting are yet to come You have noble qualities shining accomplishments You will probably in a very few years perhaps in a few months be able to establish yourself with the world So far only as you have gone the inconsideration of youth will be allowed an excuse for your conduct Blest with means as you are you still have it in your power let me repeat to be an honour to your Sex to your country to your splendid house and to the age to which you are given
The monitor I mentioned You know him by person by manners from my earlier youth born as he knew me to be the heir of a considerable fortune suggested to me an address to Heaven which my heart has had no repugnance to make a daily one
That the Almighty will in mercy withhold from me wealth and affluence and make my proud heart a dependant one even for my daily bread were riches to be a snare to me and if I found not my inclinations to do good as occasions offered enlarge with my power
—O that you Olivia were poor and low if the being so and nothing else would make you know yourself and act accordingly—And that it were given to me by acts of fraternal love to restore you as you could bear it to an independence large as your own wishes
Wha an uncontroulable MAN would Lady Olivia have made had she been a man with but the same passions that now diminish th• grand 〈◊◊〉 soul and so large a power to gratify them—What a Sovereign
—Look into the characters of absolute princes and see whose of all those who have sullied royalty by the violence of their wills you would have wished to copy or to have been compared with
How has the unhappy Olivia though but a subject dared—How often has that tender bosom whose glory it would have been to melt at anothers woe and to rejoice in acts of kindness and benevolence to her fellowcreatures been armed by herself not the mistress but the slave of her passions not with defensive but offensive steel a Hitherto Providence has averted any remediless mischief but Providence will not be tempted
Believe me still believe me madam I mean not to upbraid you My dear Olivia I will call you how often has my heart bled for you How paternally tho but of years to be your brother have I lamented for you in secret I will own to you that but for the withholding prudence and withholding honour that I owned to both our characters because of a situation which would not allow me to express my tenderness for you I had folded you in your contrite moments to my bosom and on my knees besought you to act up to your own knowlege and to render yourself worthy of your illustrious ancestry And what but your glory could have been what but that is now my motive
With what joy do I reflect that I took not God be praised for his restraining goodness advantage of the favour I stood in with a most lovely and princelyspirited woman an advantage that would have given me cause to charge myself with baseness to her in the hour wherein I should have wanted most consolation With what apprehension dreading for myself because of the great the sometimes almost irresistable temptation have I looked upon myself to be shall I say the sole guardian of Olivias honour More than once most
generous and confiding of women have I from your unmerited favour for me besought you to spare me my pride and as often to permit me to spare you yours—Not the odious vice generally known by that name the fault of fallen angels but that which may be called a prop a support to an imperfect goodness which properly directed may in time grow into virtue—That friendly pride let me add which has ever warmed my heart with wishes for your temporal and eternal welfare
I call upon you once more my FRIEND How unreproachingly may we call each other by that sacred name The Friend of your Fame the Friend of your Soul calls upon you once more to rejoice with him that you have it still in your power to tread the path of honour Again I glory and let us both that we have nothing to reproach each other with I leave Italy a country that ever will have a title to my grateful regard without one selfupbraiding sigh though not without many sighs I own it to Olivia Justice requires it Justice to a Lady Olivia loves not but who deserves not only hers but the love of every woman for she is an ornament to her Sex and to human nature Yet be it known to Olivia that I am a sufferer by that very magnanimity for which I revere her—A rejected man—Will Olivia rejoice that I am—She will What inequalities are there in the greatest minds But subdue them in yours For your own sake not for mine subdue them The conquest will be more glorious to you than the acquisition of an empire could be
Let me conclude with an humble but earnest wish that you will cultivate as once you promised me the friendship of one of the best of women Mrs Beaumont disposed as she your neighbour is to cultivate yours I shall then hear often from you by the pen of that excellent woman Your compliance with this humble advice will give me madam for
your own sake and for the pleasure I know Mrs Beaumont will have in it the greatest joy that is possible for you to give to a heart that overflows with sincere wishes for your happiness A heart that will rejoice in every opportunity that shall be granted to promote it For I am and ever will be
The Friend of your Fame of your true Glory and your devoted Servant GRANDISON
Florence Aug 22 Sept 2
I am to take it kindly that you have thought fit to write to the unhappy Olivia before you leave Italy I could not have expected even this poor savour after the parting it was your pleasure to call everlasting Cruel man—Can I still call you so—I did before I had this Letter and was determind that you should have reason to repent your cruelty But this Letter has almost reconciled me to you so far reconciled me however as to oblige me to lay aside the intended vengeance that was rolling towards you from slighted Love You have awakened me to my glory by your dispassionate your tender reasonings Your Letter for I have erased one officious passage in it is in my bosom all day It is on my pillow at night The last thing and the first thing do I read it The contents make my rest balmy my uprising serene But it was not till I had read it the seventh time and after I had erased that obnoxious passage that it began to have that happy effect upon me I was above advice for the first day I could not relish your reasonings Resolutions of vengeance had possessed me wholly
What a charm could there be in a Letter that should make a flighted woman lay aside her meditated vengeance A woman too that had fallen beneath herself in the object of that despised Love
Allow me Grandison to say so In the account of wordly reckoning it was so And when I thought I hated you it was so in my own account Yet could you have returned my Love I would have gloried in my choice and attributed to envy all the insolent censures of maligners
But even at the seventh perusal when my indignation began to give way would it have given way had you not in the same Letter hinted that the proud Bologna had given up all thoghts of a husband in the man to whom my heart had been so long attached—Allow me to call her by the name of her city I love not her nor her family I hate them by their own proud names It is an hereditary hatred augmented by rivalry a rivalry that had like to have been a successful one And is she not proud who whatever be her motive can refuse the man who has rejected a nobler woman Yet I think I ought to forgive her for has she not avenged me If you are grieved that she has refused you I am rejoiced Be the pangs she has so often given me if possible forgotten
What a miserable wretch however from my own reflexions did this intelligence make me Intelligence that I received before your Letter blessed m hands Let me so express myself the contents I hope will be the means of blessings by purifying my heart—And why a miserable wretch—O this man of sentiments the most delicate of life and manners the most unblameable yet of air and behaviour so truly gallant had it not been for thy forwardness Olivia had it not been for proposals shame to thyself shame to thy sex too plainly intimated to him proposals that owed their existence to inconsiderate Love
a Love mingled I will now confess with passions of the darkest hue—Envy malice—and those aggravated by despair—would on this disappointment from the Bologna have offered his hand to the Florentine—But now do I own that it cannot that it ought not to be For what Olivia is there in the glitter of thy fortune thy greatest dependence to attract a man whom worldly grandeur cannot influence Who has a fortune of his own so ample that hundreds are the better for it—A man whose oeconomy is regulated by prudence Who cannot be in such difficulties as would give some little merit to the person who was so happy as to extricate him from them—A man in short who takes pleasure in conferring obligations yet never lays himself under the necessity of receiving returns Prince of a man What Prince King Emperor is so truly great as this man And is he not likewise surrounded by his nobles—What a number of people of high interior worth make up the circle of his acquaintance
And is there not cannot there yet be hope the proud Bologna now as she is out of the question—The Florentine wants not pride but betrayed by the violence of her temper she has not had the caution to confine herself within the bounds of female shall I say hypocrisy What she could not hide from herself she revailed to the man she loved But never however was there any other man whom she loved Upon whom but one man the haughty object of her passion did she ever condescend to look down Who but he was ever encouraged to look up to her—And did not his gentle his humane his unreproaching heart seem to pity rather than despise her till she was too far engaged At the time that she first cast her eyes upon him his fortune was not high His father a man of expence was living and likely to live His sisters whom he loved as himself were hopeless of obtaining from their father fortunes
equal to their rank and education Olivia knew all this from unerring intelligence His friends his Bartlett his Beauchamp and others were not in circumstances that set them above owing obligations to him slender as were his own appointments—Then it was that thou Olivia valuedst thyself for being blest with means to make the power of the man thou lovedst as large as his heart Thou wouldest have vested it all in him Thou wouldest have conditioned with him that this he should do for one sister this for the other this for one friend this for another and still another to the extent of his wishes And with him and the remainder thou wouldest have been happy
Surely there was some merit in Olivias Love
But alas she was not prudent Her temper supposed to be naturally haughty and violent hurried her into measures too impetuous The soul of the man she loved too great to be attracted by riches by worldly glory and capable of being happy in a mere competence was how can I say it I blush while I write it disgusted by a violence that had not been used to be restrained by the accustomed reserve It was all open day no dark machinating night in the heart of the undissembling Olivia She persecuted the object of her passion with her Love because she thought she could lay him under obligation to it By hoping to prove herself more she made herself appear less than woman She despised that affectation that hypocrify in her Sex which unpenetrating eyes attribute to modesty and shame—Shame of what of a natural passion
But you Grandison were too delicate to be taken with her sincerity If you had penetration to distinguish between reserve and openness of heart you had not greatness of mind enough to break thro the low restraints of custom and to reward the latter in preference to the former. Yet who better than you
knows that women in Love are actuated by one view and differ only in outward appearance Will bars bolts walls rivers seas any more withhold the supercilious than the less reserved That passion which made the Florentine compass earth and seas in hopes of obtaining its end made perhaps the prouder Bologna and from pride a more pitiable object—Yet who ever imputed immodesty to Olivia Who ever dared to harbour a thought injurious to her virtue You only custom her judge have the power but not I hope the will to upbraid her You can The creature who conscious of having alarmed you by the violence of her temper would have lived with you on terms of probation and left it to your honour on full consideration and experience of that temper to reward her with the celebration or punish her with rejection her whole fortune devoted to you had subjected herself to your challenges But nobody else could harbour a thought inglorious to her
And must she yield to the consciousness of her own unworthiness from a proposal made by herself which tyrant custom only can condemn
O yes she must There is among your countrywomen one who seems born for you and you for her If she can abate of a digni y that a first and only Love alone can gratify and accept of a secondplaced Love a widowerbatchelor as I may call you she I know must will be the happywoman To her the slighted Florentine can resign which with patience she never could to the proud Bologna and the sooner because of the immortal hatred she bears to that woman of Bologna You Grandison have been accustomed to be distinguished by women who in degree and fortune might claim rank with princesses Degree and fortune captivate you not—This humbler fairone is more suitable to your own degree And in the beauties of person and mind at least in those beauties of the latter which you most admire
she is superior either to your Bolognese or Florentine Let my pen praise her tho malice to Clementina and despair of obtaining my own wishes mingle with my ink—She is mild tho sparkling She is humble yet has dignity She is reserved yet is frank and openhearted Nobody can impute to her either dissimulation or licence of behavour We read her heart in her countenance and have no thought of looking further for it Wisdom has its seat on her lips modesty on her brow Her eves avows the secrets of her soul and demonstrate that she has no one that she need to be ashamed of She can blush for others for the unhappy Olivia she did more than once But for herself she need not blush I loved yet feared her the moment I saw her I dared not to try myself by her judgment It was easy for me to see that she loved you yet such were your engagements your supposed engagements that I pitied her And can we be alarmed by or angry at her whom we pity—Unworthy Grandison Unworthy I will call you because you cannot merit the Love of such a spotless heart You who could leave her and under colour of honour when there was no preengagement and when the proud family had rejected you prefer to such a fine young creature a romantic Enthusiast—O may the sweet maiden who wants not due consciousness of interior worth assert herself and by refusing your secondplaed addresses vindicate the dignity of beauty and innocence unequalled
If you Grandison cannot forgive Olivia for loving you too well for rendering herself too cheap to you if you cannot repair in her own eyes the honour of one who in that ca•e must be sunk in yours beyond the power of restoration if you cannot forgive attempts of the hand in which the heart had no share but resisted in a word if you cannot forgive the fervor of a Love that at times combating my pride had nearly overturned my reason also—Then let this
virgin goodness be yours and Olivia will endeavour to forgive you—Yet—O that yet—Ah Grandison—But how can a woman bear that refusal which however superior she may be in rank in fortune gives her an inferiority to the man of her wishes in the very article in which it should be a womans glory to retain dignity even were the man superior to her in birth and in all other outward advantages I disdain thee Grandison in this light I will tear thy proud image from my heart or die
One request only let me make and permit your pride to comply with it Return not to me but accept accept as a token of Love the cabinets which perhaps will be in England before you They will be thought by you of too great value but they are not too great for the grandeur of my fortune and the magnificence of my spirit The medals alone make a collection that would do credit to the cabinet of a sovereign Prince These are in your taste They are nothing to Olivia but for your sake Accept of these cabinets as some atonement for the trouble I have given you for the attempts I have made upon your liberty and more than once but Oh with how feeble a hand upon your life How easy had it been to take the latter your soul so fearless braving menace and danger had I been resoved to take it How many ministers of vengeance in my country had I been determined to execute it would my fortune have procured me How easy would it have been for me to conceal my guilt from all but myself had the slowworking bowl or even the sharppointed poniard given thee up to my great revenge—Tis happy for us bo•h however that the proud Bigot rejected you Your death and my distraction had probably been the consequence of her acceptance of you—Yet how I rave—The moment I had seen you my vengeance would have been arrested as more than once it was O Grandison How dear are you were you now
I will endeavour to say to the soul of Olivia Dearer than same than glory and whatever the world deems valuable
All that I ask of you now that the Bologna in disappointing you has disappointed herself great revenge is within your own power to grant without detriment to yourself and I hope without regret It consists of two or three articles The first is to resolve within yourself that you will not now should that heat of the zealots imagination which has seemed to carry her above herself subside as I have no doubt but it will and should she even follow you to your native place as a still nobler woman ignobly did that you will not now receive her offered hand—O Grandison If you do—
Next that you will thus fairly tho foolishly dismissed and the whole family rejoicing in your dismission well as they pretend to love you put it out of your own power since the Florentine can have no hope to give the Bolognese any My soul thirsts to see her in a Nunnery I could myself assume the veil in the same convent I think I could for the pleasure of exulting over her for the pangs she has occasioned me But for her Olivia would have been mistress of her own wishes
Preach not to me Grandison against that spirit of revenge which ever did and ever must actuate my heart Slighted Love will warrant it or nothing can Have I not lost the man I loved by it Can I regain him if I conquer that not ignoble vehemence of a great mind—No—Forbear then the unavailing precept I am not of Bologna I am no zealot While the warm blood flows in my veins I pretend not to be above human nature When I can divest myself of that then perhaps I may follow your advice I may seek to cultivate the friendship of Mrs Beaumont But till then she would not accept of mine
O Grandison born to distinction princely in
your munificence amiable in your person great in your mind in your sentiments you have conquered your ambition—You may therefore unite yourself to the politest country maid and the loveliest that ever adorned your various climate Yet O that in the same hour the Bolognese might assume the veil and the lovely English maid refuse your offered hand
My third request is as before requested that you will not refuse the cabinets which will be soon embarked for you Be not afraid of me Grandison I form no pretensions upon you from this present valuable as you perhaps may think it Your simple acceptance is all the return I hope for Write only these words with your own hand—
Olivia I accept your present and thank you for it
Receive it only as a token of my past Love for a man whose virtues I admire and by degrees shall hope to imitate That Sir when a certain event was most my wish was not the least motive for that wish But now what will be the destiny of the bewildered creature who is left at large to her own will who can tell A will that only one man in the world could have subjugated His controul would have been freedom
I would not have you imagine that a correspondence by Letter is hoped for as a return for the Present of which I entreat your acceptance But when I can assure you that your advice will probably be of great service to me in the conduct of my future life as I have no doubt it will from the calm effects that the Letter which has now a place in my bosom has already produced there I am ready to flatter myself that a wish so ardent and so justifiable will be granted to the repeated request of
OLIVIA
Continuation of Sir CHARLES GRANDISONs Letter No XL Begun p 251
OLIVIA you see my dear Dr Bartlett concludes her Letter with a desire of corresponding with me As she has put it I cannot refuse her request How happy should I think myself if I could be a means effectually to serve her in the conduct of her future life
I have written to her that I shall think an intercourse by Letters an honour done me if she will allow me to treat her with the freedom and the singleness of heart of an affectionate brother
As to her particular recommendation of a third person I tell her that must be the subject of the future correspondence to which she is pleased to invite me
Olivia may be in earnest in her warm commendations of a Lady of whose excellencies nobody can write or speak with indifference But I have no doubt that she is very earnest to know my sentiments on the subject But what must be the mind of the bachelorwidower as she calls me if already I can enter into the subject with anybody with Lady Olivia especially The most sensible I will not say subtle creature on earth is certainly a woman in Love What can escape her penetration What can bound her curiosity
I tell her that I can neither decline nor accept of her present till I see the contents of the cabinets she is pleased to mention It will give me pain I say to refuse any favour from Lady Olivia by which she intends to shew her esteem of me But favours of so high a price will and ought to give scruples to one who would not be thought ungenerous
I had always admired I tell her her collection of medals But they are a family collection of two or three generations And I should not allow myself to accept of such a treasure unless I could have an opportunity
given me to shew if not my merit my gratitude and that I saw no possibility of being blessed with in any manner that could make the acceptance tolerably easy to myself I cannot my dear Dr Bartlett receive from this munificent Lady a present that is of such high intrinsic worth Had she offered me any-thing that would have had its value from the giver or to the receiver for its own sake and not equally to anybody else for instance had she desired me to accept of her picture since the original could not me mine I would not have refused it tho it had been incircled with jewels of price But circumstanced as this unhappy Lady and I are could I have asked her for a favour of that nature
I think I have broken thro one delicacy in consenting to correspond with this Lady She should not have asked it I never knew a pain of so particular a nature as this Lady a not ungenerous tho a rash one has given me My very heart recoils Dr Bartlett at the thought of a denial of marriage to a woman expecting the offer whom delicacy has not quite forsaken
But a word or two more on this subject of Presents When the whole family at Bologna were so earnestly solicitous to shew their gratitude to me by some permanent token I had once the thought of asking for their Clementinas picture in miniature But as I was never to think of her as mine and as probably my picture if but for politeness sake would have been asked for in exchange I was afraid of cherishing by that means in her mind the tender ideas of our past friendship and thereby of making the work of her parents difficult And do they not the more excusably hope to succeed in their views as they think their success will be a means to secure health of mind to their child But if they visit me in England I will then request the pictures of the whole family in one large piece for the principal ornament of Grandisonhall
By what Olivia says of designs on my liberty I believe she means to include the attempt made upon me at Florence which I hinted at in my last and supposed to come from that quarter What she would have done with me had the attempt succeeded I cannot imagine I should not have wished to have been the subject of so romantic an adventure—A prisoner to a Lady in her castle—She is certainly one of the most enterprising women in Italy and her temper is too well seconded by her power She would not however in that case have had recourse to fatal acts of violence Once you know she had thoughts of exciting against me the Holy Tribunal But I was upon such a foot as a traveller and as an English Protestant tho avowed not behaving indiscreetly that I had friends enow even in the Sacred College to have rendered ineffectual any steps of that sort And after all her machinations were but transitory ones and the moment she saw me given over
My first enquiry after my arrival here was after my poor cousin Grandison My poor cousin indeed What a spiritless figure does he make I remember you once said That it was more difficult for a man to behave well in prosperity than in adversity But the man who will prove the observation to be true must not be one who by his own extravagance and vice has reduced himself from an affluence to which he was born to penury at least to a state of obligation and dependence Good God that a man should be so infatuated as to put on the cast of a dye the estate of which he is in unquestioned possession from his ancestors Yet who will say that he who hopes to win what belongs to another does not deserve to lose his own
I soothed my cousin in the best manner I could consistently with justice Yet I told him that his repentance must arise from his judgment as well as from his sufferings and that he would have less reason for regretting
the unhappy situation to which he had reduced himself if the latter brought him to a right sense of his errors I was solicitous Dr Bartlett for the sake of his own peace of mind that he should fall into a proper train of thinking But I told him that preachment was no more my intention than recrimination
I have two hands to one tongue my cousin said I and the latter I use not but to tell you that both the former are cordially at your service You have considered this matter well no doubt added I Can you propose to me any means of retrieving your affairs
There is said he one way It would do everything for me But I am afraid of mentioning it to you
If it be a just way fear not If it be any-thing I can do for you out of my own single purse without asking any second or third person to contribute to it command me—He hesitated
If it be any-thing, my cousin said I that you think I ought not in justice in honour to comply with do not for your own sake mention it Let me see that your calamity has had a proper effect upon you Let not the just man be sunk in the man in adversity and then open your mind freely to me
He could not he said trust the mention of the expedient to me till he had given it a further consideration
Well Sir be pleased to remember that I will never ask you to mention it because I cannot doubt but you will if on consideration you think it a proper expedient
When some friends who came to visit me on my arrival were gone my cousin resumed the former subject But he offered not to mention his expedient I hope it was not that he had a view to my Emily I am very jealous for my Emily If I thought poor Everard had but an imagination of retrieving his affairs
by her fortune nothing but his present calamity should hinder me from reneuncing for ever my cousin
I enquired particularly into the situation he was in and if there were a likelihood of doing any-thing with the gamesters But he could not give me room for such an expectation I find he has lost all his estate to them Duntonfarm excepted which having been much out of repair is now fitting up for a new tenant and will not for three or four years to come bring him in a clear fifty pounds a year
I have known more men than one who could not live upon fifteen hundred a year bring themselves to be contented with fifty But Mr Grandison is so fallen in spirit that he never will be able to survive such a change of fortune if I do not befriend him Poor man he is but the shadow of what he was The first formerly in the fashion In body and face so erect his steps so firm gait so assured air so genteel eye so lively—But now in so few months gaunt sides his halfworn tarnishdlaced coat big enough to lap over him hollow cheeks puling voice sighing heart creeping feet—O my Dr Bartlett how much does it behove men so little able to bear distress to avoid falling into it by their own extravagance But for a man to fall into indigence thro avarice for what is a spirit of gaming but a spirit of avarice and that of the worst sort How can such a one support his own reflexions
I had supposed that he had no reason, in this shattered state of his affairs to apprehend any-thing from the prosecution set on foot by the woman who claimed him on promise of marriage but I was mistaken she has or pretends to have he told me witnesses of the promise Poor shameful man What witnesses needed she if he knows he made it and received the prostigate consideration
I am not happy my dear friend in my mind I hope to be tolerably so if my next Letters from Bologna
are favourable as to the state of health of the beloved brother and sister there
It would have been no disagreeable amusement to me at this time to have proceeded directly to Ireland the rather as I hope a visit to my estate there is become almost necessary by the forwardness the works are in which I set on foot when I was on that more than agreeable spot But the unhappy situation of Mr Grandisons affairs and my hopes of bringing those of Lady Mansfield to an issue together with the impatience I have to see my English friends determine me to the contrary Tomorrow will be the last day of my stay in this city and the day after my cousin and I shall set out for Calais—Very quickly therefore after the receipt of this Letter which shuts up the account of my foreign excursions will you by your paternal goodness if in London help to calm the disturbed heart of
Your CHARLES GRANDISON
London Tuesday Sept 5
COngratulate us my dearest Miss Byron on the arrival of my brother He came last night It was late And he sent to us this morning and to others of his friends My Lord and I hurried away to breakfast with him Ah my dear we see too plainly that he has been very much disturbed in mind He looks more wan and is thinner than he was But he is the same kind brother friend and good man
I expected a little hint or two from him on my past vivacities but not a word of that nature He felicitated my good man and me and when he spoke of Lord and Lady L and his joy in their happiness
he put two sisters and their good men together as two of the happiest pairs in England Politic enough for as we sat at breakfast two or three toysome things were said by my Lord no ape was ever so fond and I could hardly forbear him But the reputation my brother gave me was a restraint upon me I see one may be flattered by underserved compliments into good behaviour when we have a regard to the complimenter
Aunt Nell was all joy and gladness She was in raptures last night it seems at her nephews first arrival He rejoiced to see her and was so thankful to her for letting him find her in town and at his house that she resolves she will not leave him till he is married The good old soul imagines she is of importance to him in the direction of the family matters now I have left him—I Harriet theres selfimportance—But good creatures these old virgins they do so love to be thought useful—Well and is not that a good sign on aunt Nells part Does it not look as if she would have been an useful creature in the days of nightrail and notableness had she been a wife in good time I always think when I see those badgerly virgins fond of a parrot a squirrel a monkey or a lapdog that their imagination makes our husband and children in the animals—Poor things—But as to her care I dare say that will only serve to make bustle and confusion where else would be order and regularity for my brother has the best of servants
I wished her in in Berkshire fifty times as we sat at breakfast For when I wanted to ask my brother twenty thousand questions and to set him on talking we were entertained with her dreams of the night before his arrival and last night—Seas crossed rivers forded—Dangers escaped by the help of angels and saints for the resveries of the former night and for the last the music of the spheres heaven and joy and festivity—The plump creature loves good chear
Harriet—In short hardly a word could we say, but what put her upon recollecting a part of one of her dreams Yet some excuse lies good for an old soul whose whole life has been but one dream a little fallalishly varied—And would you think it yes I believe you would My odd creature was once or twice put upon endeavouring to recollect two or three dreams of his own of the week past and would have gone on if I had not silenced him by a frown as he looked upon me for his cue as a tender husband ought
Beauchamp came in and I thought would have relieved us But he put my aunt in mind of an almostforgotten part of her dream for just such a joyful meeting just such expressions of gladness did she dream of as she now beheld and heard between my brother and him felicitating each other Duce take these dreaming souls to remember their resveries when realities infinitely more affecting are before them But Reflexion and Prognostic are ever inspiriting parts of the pretension of people who have lived long dead to the Present the Past and the Future filling their minds And why should not they be indulged in the thought that they know something more than those who are less abstracted and who are contented with looking no further than the Present
Sir Charles enquired after Sir Harrys health Mr Beauchamp with a concern that did him credit lamented his declining way and he spoke so respectfully of Lady Beauchamp and of her tenderness to his father as made my brothers eyes glisten with pleasure
Lord and Lady L Dr Bartlett and Emily were at Colnebrook But as they had left orders to be sent for the moment my brother arrived for you need not doubt but his last Letter prepared us to expect him soon they came time enough to dine with us There was a renewal of joy among us
Emily the dear Emily fainted away embracing the knees of her guardian as she unawares to him threw herself at his feet with joy that laboured for expression but could not obtain it He was affected So was Beauchamp So were we all She was carried out just as she was recovering to a shame and confusion of face for which only her own modesty could reproach her
There are susceptibilities which will shew themselves in outward acts and there are others which cannot burst out into speech Lady Ls joy was of the former, mine of the latter sort But she is used to tenderness of heart Mine are ready to burst my heart but never hardly can rise to my lips—My eyes however are great talkers
The pleasure that Sir Charles Lord L and Dr Bartlett mutually expressed to see each other was great tender and manly My bustling nimble Lord enjoyed over again his joy at that of every other person and he was ready goodnaturedly to sing and dance—Thats his way poor man to shew his joy but he is honest for all that Dont despise him Harriet He was brought up as an only son and to know that he was a Lord or else he would have made a better figure in your eyes The man wants not sense I assure you You may think me partial but I believe the most foolish thing he ever did in his life was at church and that at St Georges Hanoversquare Poor soul He might have had a wife better suited to his taste and then his very foibles would have made him shine But Harriet it is not always given to us to know what is best for ourselves Black women I have heard remarked like fair men fair men black women and tempers suit best with contraries Were we all to like the same person or thing equally we should be forever engaged in bro•• As it is human nature vile rogue as I have heard it called is quarrelsome enough So my Lord being a lost man fell in love
if it please you with a saucy woman He ought to be meek and humble you know He would not let me be quiet till I was his We are often to be punished by our own choice But I am very good to him now I dont know Harriet whether it is best for me to break him of his trifling or not Unless one were sure that he could creditably support the alteration Now can I laugh at him and if the baby is froppish can coax him into good humour A sugarplumb and a courtesy will do at any time and by setting him into a broad grin I can laugh away his anger But should I endeavour to make him wise as the man has not been used to it and as his education has not given him a turn to significance dont you think he would he would be aukward and what is worse assuming Well Ill consider of this before I attempt to newcast him Mean time I repeat—Dont you my dear for my sake think meanly of Lord G—Ha ha ha hah—What do I laugh at do you ask me Harriet—Something so highly ridiculous—I have—I have—sent him away from me so much ashamed of himself—He bears any-thing from me now that he knows I am only in play with him and have so very right a heart—I must lay down my pen—Poor soul Hah hah hah hah—I do love him for his simplicity
WELL I wont tell you what I laughed at just now for fear you should laugh at us both My brothers arrival has tuned every string of my heart to joy The holding up of a straw will throw me into titteration—I can hardly forbear laughing again to think of the shame the poor soul shewed when he slunk away from me After all he ill brooks to be laughed at Does not that look as if he were conscious—But what Harriet will you ask mean I by thus trifling with you and at this time particularly—Why I would be glad to make you smile either with
me or at me I am indifferent which so that you do but smile—You do—I protest you do—Well now that I have obtained my wishes I will be serious
We congratulated my brother on the happy turn in the healths of his Italian friends without naming names or saying a word of the sister we had like to have had He looked earnestly at each of us bowed to our congratulations but was silent Dr Bartlett had told us that he never in his Letters to my brother mentioned your being not well because he knew it would disturb him He had many things to order and do so that except at breakfast when aunt Nell invaded us with her dreams and at dinner when the servants attendance made our discourse general we had hardly any opportunity of talking to him But in the space between teatime and supper he came and told us that he was devoted to us for the remainder of the day Persons present were Lord and Lady L myself and my good man Dr Bartlett Mr Beauchamp and Emily good girl quite recovered and blyth as a bird attentive to every word that passed the lips of her guardian—O but aunt Nell was also present—Poor soul I had like to have forgot her
In the first place you must take it for granted that we all owned we had seen most of what he had written to Dr Bartlett
What troubles what anguish of mind what a strange variety of conflicts has your heart had to contend with my dear Sir Charles began Mr Beauchamp and at last What a strange disappointment from one of the noblest of women
Very true my Beauchamp He then said great and glorious things of Lady Clementina We all joined in admiring her He seemed to have great pleasure in hearing us praise her—Very true Harriet—But you have generosity enough to be pleased with him for that
Aunt Eleanor I wont call her aunt Nell any more if I can help it asked him If he thought it were possible for the Lady to hold her resolution Now you have actually left Italy nephew and are at such a distance dont you think her love will return
Good soul She has substantial notions still left I find of ideal Love Those notions I fansy last a long time with those who have not had the opportunity of gratifying the silly passion—Be angry if you will Harriet I dont care
Well but thus gravely as became the question answered my brother—The favour which this incomparable Lady honoured me with was never disowned On the contrary it was always avowed and to the very last She had therefore no uncertainty to contend with She had no balancings in her mind Her contention as she supposed was altogether in favour of her duty to Heaven She is exemplarily pious While she remains a zealous Roman Catholic she must persevere and I dare say she will
I dont know what to make of these Papists said our old Protestant aunt Nell—Aunt Nell did I say Cry mercy—Thank God you are come home safe and sound and without a papistical wife—It is very hard if England cannot find a wife for you nephew
We all smiled at aunt Nell—The duce is in me I believe—Aunt Nell again—But let it go
When Lady G asked Lady L saw you or heard you from the dowager Countess of D
Is there any other Countess of D Lady L said Sir Charles A fine glow taking possession of his cheeks
Your servant brother thought I I am not sorry for your charming apprehensiveness
No Sir replied Lady L
Would you brother said Boldface You know who that is Harriet that there should be another Countess of D
I wish my Lord D happy Charlotte I hear him as well spoken of as any of our young nobility
You dont know what I mean I warrant Sir Charles resumed with an intentional archness your saucy friend
I believe I do Lady G I wish Miss Byron to be one of the happiest women in the world because she is one of the best—My dear to Emily I hope you have had nothing to disturb or vex you from your mothers husband—
Nor from my mother Sir—All is good and as it should be You have overcome—
Thats well my dear—Would not the Bathwaters be good for Sir Harry my dear Beauchamp
A second remove thought I But Ill catch you brother Ill warrant as rustics sometimes in their play do a ball on the rebound
Now you will be piqued I warrant Harriet Your delicacy will be offended because I urged the question I see a blush of disdain arising in your lovely cheek and conscious eye restoring the roses to the one and its natural brilliancy to the other Indeed we all began to be afraid of a little affectation in my brother But we needed not He would not suffer us to put him upon the subject again After a few other general questions and answers of who and who and how and how and what and when andsoforth he turned to Dr Bartlett
My dear friend said he you gave me pain a little while ago when I asked you after the health of Miss Byron and her friends You evaded my question I thought and your looks alarmed me I am afraid poor Mrs Shirley—Miss Byron spoke of her always as in an infirm state How Charlotte would our dear Miss Byron grieve were she to lose so good a relation
I intended not answered the Doctor that you should see I was concerned But I think it impossible
ble that a father can love a daughter better than I love Miss Byron
You would alarm me indeed my dear friend if Lady G had not by her usual liveliness just now put me out of all apprehensions for the health of Miss Byron I hope Miss Byron is well
Indeed she is not said I with a gravity becoming the occasion
God forbid said he with an emotion that pleased everybody—Not for your sake Harriet—Be not affectedly nice now but for our own—
His face was in a glow—What Lady L what Charlotte said he ails Miss Byron
She is not well brother replied I but the most charming sick woman that ever lived She is chearful that she may give no uneasiness to her friends She joins in all their conversations diversions amusements She would fain be well and likes not to be thought ill Were it not for her faded cheeks her pale lips and her changed complexion we should not know from herself that she ailed any-thing. Some people reach perfection sooner than others and are as swift in their decay—Poor Miss Byron seems not to be built for duration
But should I write these things to you my dear Yet I know that Lady Clementina and You are sisters in magnanimity
My brother was quite angry with me—Dear Dr Bartlett said he explain this speech of Charlotte She loves to amuse—Miss Byron is blessed with a good constitution She is hardly yet in the perfection of her bloom Set my heart at rest I love not either of my Sisters more than I do Miss Byron Dear Charlotte I am really angry with you
My goodnatured Lord reddened up to his naked ears at hearing my brother say he was angry with me Sir Charles said he I am sorry you are so soon
angry with your sister It is too true Miss Byron is ill She is I fear in a declining way—
Pardon me my dear Lord G—Yet I am ready to be angry with anybody that shall tell me Miss Byron is in a declining way—Dr Bartlett—Pray—
Indeed Sir Miss Byron is not well—Lady G has mingled her fears with her Love in the description Miss Byron cannot but be lovely Her complexion is still fine She is chearful serene resigned—
Resigned Dr Bartlett—Miss Byron is a saint She cannot but be resigned in the solemn sense of the word—Resignation implies hopelessness If she is so ill would not you my dear Dr Bartlett have informed me of it—Or was it from tenderness—You must be kind in all you do
I did not apprehend said Lady L that Miss Byron was so very much indisposed Did you my Lord to Lord L Upon my word Doctor Sister it was unkind if so that you made me not acquainted—
And then her goodnatured eye dropt a tear of Love for her Harriet
I was sorry this went so far My brother was very uneasy So was Mr Beauchamp for him and for you my dear
That she is and endeavours to be so chearful said Beauchamp shews that nothing lies upon her mind—My fathers illness only can more affect me than Miss Byrons
Emily wept for her Miss Byron She has always been afraid that her illness would be attended with ill consequences
My dear Love my Harriet you must be well See how everybody loves you I told my brother that I expected a Letter from Northamptonshire by the next post and I would inform him truly of the state of your health from the contents of it
I would not for the world have you think my Harriet that I meant to excite my brothers attention
to you by what I said Your honour is the honour of the Sex For are you not one of the most delicateminded as well as frankest of it It is no news to say that my brother dearly loves you I did not want to know his solicitude for your health Where he once loves he always loves Did you not observe that I supposed it a natural decline God grant that it may not be so And thus am I imprudently discouraging you in mentioning my apprehensions of your all health in order to shew my regard for your punctilio But you shall you will be well and the wife of—the best of men—God grant it may be so—But however that is to be we have all laid our heads together and are determined for your delicacysake to let this matter take its course since after an opening so undesignedly warm you might otherwise imagine our solicitude in the affair capable of being thought too urgent I tell you my dear that worthy as Sir Charles Grandison is of a princess he shall not call you by his name but with all his soul
As my brother laid it out to us this evening I find we shall lose him for some days The gamesters whom Mr Grandison permitted to ruin him are at Winchester dividing I suppose and rejoicing over their spoils of the last season Whether my brother intends to see them or not I cannot tell He expects not to do any-thing with them They no doubt will shew the foolish fellow that they can keep what he could not And Sir Charles aims only at practicable and legal not at romantic redresses
Sir Charles intends to pay his respects to Lord and Lady W at Windsor and to the Earl of G and Lady Gertrude who are at their Berkshire seat My honest Lord has obtained my leave at the first asking to attend him thither—My brother will wait on Sir Harry and Lady Beauchamp in his way to Lady Mansfields—Beauchamp will accompany him thither Poor Grandison
as humble as a mouse tho my brother does all he can to raise him desires to be in his train as he calls it all the way and never to be from under his wing My brother intends to make a short visit to Grandisonhall when he is so near as at Lady Mansfields Dr Bartlett will accompany him thither as all the way and hopes he will approve of everything he has done there and in that neighbourhood in his absence The good man has promised to write to me Emily is sometimes to be with me sometimes with aunt Eleanor at the Antients request tho Lord and Lady L mutter at it My brothers trusty Saunders is to be left behind in order to dispatch to his master by man and horse any Letters that may come from abroad and I have promised to send him an account of the healths andsoforth of our Northamptonshire friends I think it would be a right thing in him to take a turn to Selbyhouse I hope you think so too Dont fib Harriet
Adieu my dear For Gods sake be well prays your Sister your Friend and the Friend of all your Friends everaffectionate and obliged
CHARLOTTE G
Thursday Sept 7
I Will write to your Letter as it lies before me I do most heartily congratulate you my dear Lady G on the arrival of your brother I do not wonder that his fatigues and his disappointment have made an alteration in his person and countenance Sir Charles Grandison would not be the man he is if he had not sensibility
You could not know your brother my dear if you expected from him recriminations on your past odd
behaviour to Lord G I hope he does not yet know a tenth part of it But if he did as he hoped you saw your error and would be good for the future he was right surely to forget what you ought not but with contrition to remember You are very naughty in the Letter before me and I love you too well to spare you
What can you mean my dear by exulting so much over your aunt for living to an advanced age a single woman However ineffectual let me add to my former expostulatory chidings on this subject Would you have one think you are overjoyed that you have so soon put it out of any ones power to reproach you on the like account If so you ought to be more thankful than you seem to be to Lord G who has extended his generosity to you and kept you from the odium Upon my word my dear Lady G I think it looks like a want of decency in women to cast reflexions on others of their Sex possibly for their prudence and virtue Do you consider how you exalt by your ludicrous freedoms the men whom sometimes you affect to despise No wonder if they ridicule old maids It is their interest to do so Lords of the Creation sometimes you deridingly call the insulters Lords of the Creation indeed you make them—And pray do you think that the same weakness which made your aunt Grandison tell her dreams in the joy of her heart as an old maid might not have made her guilty of the same foible had she been an old wife Joy is the parent of many a silly thing Dont you own that the arrival of your brother which made your aunt break out into dreamtelling made you break into laughter even in a Letter of which you were ashamed to tell the cause—Wives my dear should not sall into the mistakes for which they would make maids the subject of their ridicule You know better and therefore should be above joining the foolish multitude in a general cry to hunt down as you reckon
them an unfortunate class of people of your own Sex Your aunt Grandisons dreams let me add were more innocent than your weaking mirth—You must excuse me—I could say a great deal more upon the subject but if I have not said enough to make you sorry for your fault a great deal more would be ineffectual—So much therefore for this subject
Poor dear Emily—I wonder not at the effect the arrival and first sight of her guardian had upon her tender heart
But how wickedly do you treat your Lord—Fie upon you Charlotte—And fie upon you again for writing what I cannot for your creditsake read out to my friends I wish my dear I could bring you to think that there cannot be wit without justice nor humour without decorum My Lord has some few foibles But shall a wife be the first to discover them and expose him for them Cannot you cure him of them without treating him with a ridicule which borders upon contempt—O my dear you shew us much greater foibles in yourself than my Lord ever yet had when you make so bad an use of talents that were given you for better purposes One word only more on this subject—You cannot make me smile my dear when you are thus unseasonable in your mirth Henceforth then remember that your excursiveness allow me the word I had a harsher in my head upon old maids and your Lord can only please yourself and I will not accept of your compliment Why Because I will not be a partaker in your fault as I should be if I could countenance your levity
Levity Harriet
Yes levity Charlotte—I will not spare you Whom do you spare
But do you really think me so ill as you represented me to be to your brother I dont think I am If I did I am sure I should endeavour to put my thoughts in an absolutely new train Nor would I quit the hold
which at proper times I do let go to reenter the world as an individual who imagines herself of some little use in it and who is therefore obliged to perform with chearfulness her allotted offices however generally insignificant I may comparatively be
You say you had no thoughts of exciting your brothers attention by your strong colouring when you described the effects of my indisposition to him Attention—Compassion you might as well have said—I hope not And I am obliged to Mr Beauchamp for his inference from the chearfulness that nothing lay upon my mind Now tho that inference seemed to imply that he thought if he had not made the observation something might have been supposed to lie upon my mind I am much better satisfied that he made it than if Sir Charles had
Upon the whole I cannot but be pleased at two things in your Letter The one that Sir Charles expressed so great a concern for my health The other that you have all promised and that voluntarily and from a sense of the fitness of the measure that everything be left to its natural course—For my sake and for goodnesssake pray let it be so I think the opening as you call it was much very much too warm Bless me my dear how I trembled as I read that part—I am not methinks quite satisfied with it tho I am with your intention
Consider my dear Half a heart—A preferred Lady—For quality fortune and every merit so greatly preferable—O my Charlotte I cannot were the best to happen that can now happen take such exceeding joy as I once could have done in the prospect of that best—I have pride—But let us hear what the next Letters from Italy say and it will be then time enough if the truly admirable Lady shall adhere to her resolution to come with my scruples and drawbacks Your aunt Grandison is of opinion that she will not adhere Who can tell what to say Imagination unnaturally
heightened may change into one altitude from another I myself sincerely think and have so often said it that an uncharitable mind would perhaps charge me with affectation for it that Lady Clementina and no other woman can deserve Sir Charles Grandison
Adieu my dear Pray tell your brother that I never thought myself so ill as your friendly love made you apprehend me to be And that I congratulate you with all my heart and him also it would be an affectation to forbear it which would imply too much on his safe arrival in England But be sure remember that I look upon you and your Lord upon my Lord and Lady L and upon my sweet Emily if she sees what I write as guardians of the honour of the punctilio if you please since no dishonour can be apprehended from Sir Charles Grandison of
Your and Their HARRIET BYRON
Monday Sept 11
IN obedience to your Ladyships commands I write but it must be briefly an account of our motions
Sir Charles would not go out of town till he had made a visit to Mr and Mrs Reeves and enquired after Miss Byrons health of which he received an account less alarming than we from our love and our fears had given him
We arrived at Windsor on Wednesday evening My Lord and Lady W expected him not till the next day
I cannot find words to express the joy with which they received him My Lord acknowleged before us all that he owed it to God and to him that he was the happiest man in the world My Lady called herself
with tears of joy a happy woman And Sir Charles told me that when he was led by her to her closet to talk about the affairs of her family she exceedingly abashed him by expressing her gratitude to him for his goodness to them all on her knees while he was almost ready on his he said to acknowlege the aunt that had done so much honour to his recommendation and made his uncle so happy
Sir Charles in order to have leave to depart next morning as soon as he had breakfasted promised to pass several days with them when he could think himself a settled Englishman
You madam and Lady L equally love and admire Lady W I will not therefore enlarge to you on her excellencies Everybody loves her Her servants as they attend look at their Lady with the same delight mingled with reverence as those of my patron look upon him
Poor Mr Grandison could not help taking notice to me with tears on the joint acknowlegements of my Lord and Lady made to my patron that goodness and beneficence brought with them their own rewards Saw you not my good Dr Bartlett said he how my cousins eyes glistened with modest joy as my Lord and Lady ran over with their gratitude I thought of him as an angel among men—What a wretch have I been How can I sit at table with him Yet how he overwhelms me with his goodness
My patron having heard that Sir Hargrave Pollexfen was at his house on the forest he rode to make him a visit tho some few miles out of his way I attended him
Sir Hargrave is one of the most miserable of men He is not yet fully recovered of the bruises and rough treatment he met with near Paris But he is so miserably sunk in his spirits that my patron could not but be concerned for him He received him with grateful acknowlegements and was thankful for his visit
But he told him that he was so miserable in himself that he could hardly thank him for saving a life so wretched
Mr Merceda it seems died about a sortnight ago
That poor man was thought to be pretty well recovered and rode out several times But was taken on his return from one of his rides with a vomiting of blood the consequence as imagined of some inward bruises and died miserably His death and the manner of it have greatly affected Sir Hargrave—And poor Bagenhall Sir Charles said he is as miserable a dog as I am
Sir Hargrave understanding as he said that I was a parson begged me to give him one prayer—
He was so importunate and for Sir Charles to join in it that we both kneeled with him
Sir Hargrave wept He called himself a hardened dog
Strange man—But I think I was still more affected Sir Hargrave shocked me by your noble brothers humanity than by Sir Hargraves wretchedness tears of compassion for the poor man stealing down his manly cheek—God comfort you Sir Hargrave said he wringing his hand—Dr Bartlett is a good man You shall have the prayers of us both
He left him He could stay no longer followed by the unhappy mans blessings interrupted by violent sobbings
We were both so moved that we broke not silence as we rode till we joined our company at my Lords
I recounted what passed at this interview to Mr Grandison Your Ladyship will not want me to be very particular in relating what were his applications
to and reflexions on himself when I tell you that he could not have been more concerned had he been present on the occasion
Mr Beauchamp was with us when I gave this relation to Mr Grandison He was affected at it and with Mr Grandisons sensibility But how happy for himself was it that his concern had in it no mixture of self reproach It was a generous and humane concern like that of his dear friend
Sir Charless next visit was to the good Earl of G And here we left my Lord G the best natured and one of the most virtuous and prudent young noblemen in the Kingdom Your Ladyship will not accuse me of flattery when you read this but you will perhaps of another view—Yet as long as I know that you love to have justice done to my Lord and in your heart are sensible of the truth of what I say and I am sure rejoice in it I give chearful way to the justice and the rather as you look upon my Lord as so much yourself that if you receive his praises with some little reluctance it is with such a modest reluctance as you would receive your own glad at the same time that you were so justly complimented
My Lord will acquaint your Ladyship with all that passed at the good Earls and how much overjoyed he and Lady Gertrude were at the favour they thought your brother did them in dining with them His Lordship will tell you also how much they wish for you for they propose to winter there and not in Hertfordshire as once they thought to do
Here Sir Charles enquired after their neighbour Mr Bagenhall
He is become a very melancholy man His wife is as obliging as he will let her be but he hates her and the less wonder for he hates himself
Poor woman she could not expect a better fate To yield up her chastity to be forced upon him afterwards by way of doing her poor justice what affiance can he have in her virtue were she to meet with a trial
But that is not all for though nobody questions her fidelity yet what weight with him can her arguments have were she to endeavour to enforce upon his mind those doctrines which were they to have proceeded from a pure heart might nowandthen have let in a ray of light on his benighted soul A gloomy mind must occasionally receive great consolation from the interposal and soothing of a companionable Love when we know it comes from an untainted heart
Poor Mr Grandison found in this case also great room for selfapplication and regret without my being so officious as to remind him of the similitude tho the woman who is endeavoured to be imposed on him for a wife is a more guilty creature than ever Mrs Bagenhall was
And here madam allow me to observe that there is such a Sameness in the lives the actions the pursuits of libertines and such a likeness in the accidents punishments and occasions for remorse which attend them that I wonder they will not be warned by the beacons that are lighted up by every brother libertine whom they know and that they will so generally be driven on the same rock overspread and surrounded as it is in their very sight by a thousand wrecks—Did such know your brother and learn from his example and history what a variety there is in goodness as he passes on from object to object exercising not officiously but as opportunity offers his noble talents to the benefit of his fellowcreatures surely they would like honest Mr Sylvester the attorney endeavour to give themselves solid joy by following what
that gentleman justly called so selfrewarding an example
Forgive me madam if sometimes I am ready to preach It is my province Who but your brother can make every province his and accommodate himself to every subject
We reached Sir Harry Beauchamps that night and there took up our lodgings
Sir Harry seems to be in a swift decay and he is very sensible of it He rejoiced to see your brother I was afraid Sir Charles Grandison said he that our next meeting would have been in another world May it be in the same world and I shall be happy
This was a wish a thought not to be discouraged in a dying man Sir Charles was affected with it You know madam that your brother has a heart the most tender and at the same time the most intrepid of human hearts I have learned much from him He preaches by action Till I knew him young man as he then was and still is my preaching was by words I was contented that my actions disgraced not my words
Lady Beauchamp as my patron afterwards told me confessed in tears that she should owe to him all the tranquillity of mind that she can hope for if she survive Sir Harry O Sir said she till I knew you I was a narrow selfish creature I was jealous of a fathers Love to a worthy son whose worthiness I knew not as a son and as a friend That was the happiest day of our Beauchamps life which introduced him to an intimacy with you
Here on Friday morning we left Mr Beauchamp sorrowing for his fathers illness and endeavouring by every tender act of duty to comfort his motherinlaw on a deprivation with which I am afraid she will soon be tried
My Beauchamp loves you Sir Charles said Sir Harry at parting in the morning after breakfast and so he ought Whereever you are he wants to be but spare him to his mother and me for a few days He is her comforter and mine Fain very fain would I have longer rejoiced if God had seen fit in the Love of both But I resign to the Divine Will Pray for me You also Dr Bartlett pray for me My son tells me what a good man you are—And may we meet in heaven I am afraid Sir Charles that I never shall see you again in this world—But why should I oppress your noble heart God be your Guide and Protector Take care of your precious health You have a great deal to do before you finish your glorious course and come to this last period of human vanity
My patron was both grieved and rejoiced—Rejoiced to see Sir Harry in a frame of mind so different from that to which he had been a witness in Sir Hargrave Pollexsen and grieved to find him past all hopes of recovery
Sir Charles pursued his journey cross the country to Lady Mansfields We found no convenient place for dining and arrived at Mansfieldhouse about five on Friday afternoon
My Lady Mansfield her daughter and sons were overjoyed to see my patron Mr Grandison told me that he never from infancy to this time shed so many tears as he has shed on this short tour sometimes from joy sometimes from grief I dont know madam whether one should wish him reestablished in his fortune if it could be done since calamity rightly supported is a blessing
Here I left my patron and proceeded on Saturday morning with Mr Grandison to the Hall If Sir Charles finds matters ripened for a treaty between the Mansfields
and their adversaries as he has been put in hopes he will go near to stay at Mansfieldhouse and only visit us at the Hall incognito to avoid neighbourly congratulations till he can bring things to bear
Mr Grandison just now told me that Sir Charles before he left town gave him a 400 l bank note to enable him to pay off his debts to tradesmen of which at his desire he had given him in a list amounting to 360 l
He owes he says 100 l more to the widow of a winemerchant but being resolved to pay it the moment money comes into his hands he would not acquaint Sir Charles with it
I have the honour to be
Your Ladyships Most faithful and obedient Servant AMBROSE BARTLETT
END of VOL V
THE HISTORY OF Sir CHARLES GRANDISON
IN A SERIES of LETTERS Published from the ORIGINALS By the Editor of PAMELA and CLARISSA
In SEVEN VOLUMES
VOL VI
LONDON Printed by S RICHARDSON AND DUBLIN Reprinted and sold by the Booksellers M DCC LIII
THE HISTORY OF Sir CHARLES GRANDISON Bart
Mansfieldhouse Thursday Sept 14
_YOU will be so good my dear friend as to let my neighbours particularly the gentlemen you mention know that the only reason I forbear paying my compliments to them now I am so near is because I cannot as yet enjoy their company with that freedom and ease which I hope in a little while to do Tell them that I purpose after some particular affairs are determined which will for a little while longer engross me to devote the greatest part of my time to my native place and that then I will endeavour to make myself as good a neighbour and as social a friend as they can wish me to be
On Sunday I had a visit from the two Hartleys
They gave me very satisfactory proofs of what they were able to do as well as willing in support of the right of the Mansfields to the estate of which they have been despoiled and shewed me a paper which nobody thought was in being of the utmost consequence in the cause
On Monday by appointment I attended Sir John Lambton Two lawyers of the Keelings were with him They produced their demands I had mine ready but theirs were so extravagant that I would not produce them But taking Sir John aside I love not said I to affront men of a profession but I am convinced that we never shall come to an understanding if we consider ourselves as Lawyers and Clients I am no lawyer but I know the strength of my friends cause and will risque half my estate upon the justice of it The Mansfields will commission me if the Keelings will you and we perhaps may do something If not let the Law take its course I am now come to reside in England I will do nothing for myself till I have done what can be done to make all my friends easy
Sir John owned that he thought the Mansfields had hardships done them Mr Keeling senior he said had heard of the paper in the Hartleys hands and praising his honesty told me in confidence that he had declared that if such a paper could have been produced in time he would not have prosecuted the suit which he had carried But Sir John said that the younger Keeling was a furious young man and would oppose a compromise on the terms he supposed the Mansfields would expect to be complied with But what are your proposals Sir
These Sir John The Law is expensive delays may be meditated appeals may be brought if we gain our point—What I think it may cost us to establish the right of the injured which cannot be a small sum that will I prevail upon the Mansfields to
give up to the Keelings I will trust you if you give me your honour with our proofs and if you and your friends are satisfied with them and will consent to establish our right by the form only of a new trial then may we be agreed Otherwise not And I leave you and them to consider of it I shall hear from you within two or three days Sir John promised I should but hoped to have some talk first with the Hartleys with whom as well as with me he declared he would be upon honour
Wednesday Evening
I HAD a message from Sir John last night requesting me to dine with him and the elder Mr Keeling this day and to bring with me the two Mr Hartleys and the proofs I had hinted at
Those gentlemen were so obliging as to go with me and took the important paper with them which had been deposited with their grandfather as a common friend and contained a recognition of the Mansfields right to the estates in question upon an amicable reference to persons long since departed An attested copy of which was once in the Mansfields possession as by a memorandum that came to hand but which never could be found The younger Keeling was not intended to be there but he forced himself upon us He behaved very rudely I had once like to have forgot myself This meeting produced nothing But as the father is a reasonable man as we have obtained a rehearing of the cause as he is much influenced by Sir John Lambton who seems convinced and to whose honour I have submitted an abstract of our proofs I am in hopes that we shall be able to accommodate
I have Boltons proposals before me The first child is dead the second cannot live many months He trembles at the proofs he knows we have of his villainy He offers on the death of this second child to give us possession of the estate and a large sum of
money but thought not to be half of what the superannuated Calvert left if we will give him general releases The wretch is not we believe married to the relict of Calvert
I am loth methinks to let him escape the justice which his crimes call for But such are the delays and chicaneries of the law when practisers are found who know how to perplex an honest pursuer and as we must have recourse to low and dirty people to establish our proofs the vile fellow shall take with him the proposed spoils They may not be much more than would be the lawyers part of the estate were we to push the litigation
As to our poor Everard nothing I fear can be done for him with the men who are revelling on his spoils I have seen one of them The unhappy man has signed and sealed to his own ruin He regrets that a part of the estate which has been so long in the family and name should go out of it What an empty pride is that of name The general tenor of his life was not a credit to it tho he felt not that till he felt distress The disgrace is actually incurred Does not all the world know his loss and the winners triumph And if the world did not can he conceal from himself those vices the consequences of which have reduced him to what he is But perhaps the unhappy man puts a value upon the name in compliment to me
Mention not to him what I write The poor man is sensible enough of his folly to engage pity Whether from a right sense or not must be left to his own heart
As to the womans claim What in honour can I do against a promise that he owns may be proved upon him He did not condition with her that she was to be a spotless woman If he thought she was so when he solicited her to yield to his desires he is the less to be excused Vile as she comes out to be
he had proposed to make her as vile if he had found her not so He promised her marriage Meant he only a promise She is punished in being what she is His punishment cannot be condign but by his being obliged to perform his promise Yet I cannot bear to think that my cousin Grandison should be made for life the dupe of a successful and premeditated villainy and the less as in all likelihood the profligate Lord B would continue to himself from the merit with her of having vindicated her claim an interest in the bad womans favour were she to be the wife of our poor Everard
But certainly this claim must be prosecuted with a view only to extort money from my cousin and they know him to be of a family jealous of its honour I think she must be treated with for releases I could not bear to appear in such a cause as this in open court in support of my cousin against a promise made by him He is of age and thought to be no novice in the ways of the town I am mistaken in Mr Grandisons spirit if it did not lead him to think himself very severely punished were he to have no other punishment for those vices which were to be expensive to me
But if I should be able to extricate the unhappy man from this difficulty what can next be done for him The poor remains of his fortune will not support one who has always lived more than genteelly Will he be able think you to endure the thoughts of living in a constant state of dependence however easy and genteel I should endeavour to make it to him There may be many ways in the public offices for example) of providing for a broken tradesman But for a man who calls himself and is a gentleman who will expect as such to rank with his employer who knows nothing of figures or business of any kind who has been brought up in idleness and hardly knows the meaning of the word diligence and never
could bear confinement what can be done for such a one in the public offices or by any other employment that requires punctual attendance
But to quit this subject for a more agreeable one
I have for some time had it in my thoughts to ask you my dear friend Whether your nephew is provided for to your liking and his own If not and he would put it in my power to serve him by serving myself I should be obliged to you for permitting him so to do and to him for his consent I would not affront him by the offer of a salary My presents to him shall be such as befit the services done—Sometimes as my amanuensis sometimes as a transcriber and methodizer of Papers and Letters sometimes in adjusting servants accounts and fitting them for my inspection You need not fear my regard to myself in my acknowlegements to be made to him that I know will be all your fear for I have always considered profusion and parsimony as two extremes equally to be avoided You my dear Dr Bartlett have often enforced this lesson on my mind Can it then ever be forgotten by
Your affectionate Friend and Servant CHARLES GRANDISON
Bologna Monday Sept 15 N S
YOUR kind Letters from Lyons my dearest friend rejoiced us extremely Clementina languished to hear from you How was it possible for you to write with so much warmth of affection to her yet with so much delicacy that a rival could not take exceptions at it
She writes to you It is not for me it is not for
any of us I think to say one word to the principal subject of her Letter She shewed it to me and to her mother only
Dear creature Could she be prevailed upon—But how can you be asked to support the familywishes Yet if you think them just I know you will You know not Self when justice and the service of your friend stand in opposition to it All that I am afraid of is that we shall be too precipitate for the dear creatures head
Would to God you could have been my Brother That was the first desire of my heart—But you will see by her Letter the least flighty that she has written of a long time that she has no thought of that And she declares to us that she wishes you happily married to an Englishwoman Would to Heaven we might plead your example to her
I will certainly attend you in your England—If one thing that we all wish could happen you would have the whole family as far as I know We think we talk of nobody but you We look out for Englishmen to do them honour for your sake
Mrs Beaumont is with us Surely she is your near relation She advises caution but thinks that our present measures are not wrong ones as we never can give into my sisters wishes to quit the world Dear Grandison love not Mrs Beaumont the less for her opinion in our favour
Mr Lowther writes to you I say nothing therefore of that worthy man
I am wished to write more enforcingly to you on a certain important subject But I say I cannot dare not will not
Dear Grandison love still your Jeronymo Your friendship makes life worthy of my wish It has been a consolation to me when every other failed and all around me was darkness and the shadow of death You will often be troubled with Letters from
me My beloved my dearest friend my Grandison adieu
JERONYMO della PORRETTA
Bologna Monday Sept 15 N S
HOW welcome to me was your Letter from Lyons My good Chevalier Grandison my heart thanks you for it Yet it was possible that heart could have been still more thankful had I not observed in your Letter an air of pensiveness tho it is endeavoured to be concealed What pain would it give me to know that you suffer on my account—But no more in this strain A complaining one must take place
O Chevalier I am persecuted And by whom By my dearest my nearest friends I was afraid it would be so Why why would you deny me your influence when I importuned you for it Why would you not stay among us till you saw me professed Then had I been happy—In time I should have been happy—Now am I beset with entreaties with supplications from those who ought to command—yet unlawfully if they did I presume to think so Since parents tho they ought to be consulted in the change of condition as to the person yet surely should not oblige the child to marry who chooses to be single all her life A more cogent reason may be pleaded and I do plead it to my relations as Catholics as I wish for nothing so much as to assume the veil—But you are a Protestant You favour not a Divine dedication and would not plead for me On the contrary you have strengthened their hands—O Chevalier how could you do so and ever love me Did you not know there was but one way to
escape the grievous consequences of the importunities of those who justly lay claim to my obedience—And they do claim it
And in what forcible manner claim it—Shall I tell you Thus then My father with tears in his eyes beseeches me My mother gently reminds me of what she has suffered for me in my illness and declares that it is in my power to make the rest of her days happy Nor shall she think my own tranquility of mind secured ▪till I oblige her—O Chevalier what pleas are these from a father whose eyes plead more strongly than words and from a mother on whose bright days I cast a cloud—The Bishop pleads How can a Catholic Bishop plead and not for me The General declares that he never wooed his beloved wife for her consent with more fervour than he does me for mine to oblige them all Nay Jeronymo Blush sisterly love to say it—Jeronymo your friend Jeronymo is solicitous on the same side—Even Father Marescotti is carried away by the example of the Bishop—Mrs Beaumont argues with me in their favour—And Camilla who was ever full of your praises teazes me continually
They name not the man They pretend to leave me free to choose through the world They plead that zealous as they are in the Catholic faith they were so earnest for me to enter into the state that they were desirous to see me the wife even of a Protestant rather than I should remain single And they remind me that it was owing to my scruple only that this was not effected—But why why will they weaken rather than strengthen my scruple Could I have got over three points—The sense of my own unworthiness after my mind had been disturbed The insuperable apprehension that drawn aside by your Love I should probably have ensnared my own Soul and that I should be perpetually lamenting the certainty of the loss of his whom it would be my
duty to love as my own their importunity would hardly have been wanted
Tell me advise me my good Chevalier my fourth brother You are not Now interested in the debate if I may not lawfully stand out Tell me as I know that I cannot answer their views except I marry and yet cannot consent to marry whether I may not as well sequester myself from the world and insist upon so doing
What what can I do—I am distressed—O thou my Brother my Friend whom my heart ever must hold dear advise me To you I have told them I will appeal They are so good as to promise to suspend their solicitations if I will hold suspended my thoughts of the veil till I have your advice—But give it not against me—If you ever valued Clementina
Give it not against her
London Monday Sept 18—29
WHAT can I say most excellent of women to the contents of the Lerter you have honoured me with What a task have you imposed upon me You take great and respecting your intentions I will call it kind care to let me know that I can have no interest in the decision of the case you refer to me I repeat my humble acquiescence but must again declare that it would have been next to impossible to do so had you not made a point of conscience of your scruples
But what weight is my advice likely to have with a young Lady who repeatedly in the close of her Letter desires me not to give it for her parents
I madam am far from being unprejudiced in this case For can the man who once himself hoped for
the honour of your hand advise you against Marriage—Are not your parents generously indulgent when they name not any particular person to you I applaud both their wisdom and their goodness on this occasion Possibly you guess the man whom they would recommend to your choice And I am sure Lady Clementina would not refuse their recommendation merely because it was theirs Nor indeed upon any less reason than an unconquerable aversion or a preference to some other Catholic A Protestant it seems it cannot be
But let me ask my Sister my Friend What answer can I return to the Lady who had shewn in one instance that she had not an insuperable aversion to Matrimony yet on conscientious reasons refusing one man and not particularly favouring any can scruple to oblige obey is not the word they use
a Father who with tears in his eyes beseeches her a Mother who gently reminds her of what she has suffered for her who declares that it is in her power to make the rest of her days happy and who urges a still stronger plea respecting them both and the whole family to engage the attention of the beloved daughter—O madam what pleas are those Let me still make use of your own pathetic words from a Father whose eyes plead more strongly than words and from a Mother over whose bright days you had tho involuntarily cast a cloud—Your Brother the Bishop a man of piety your Confssor a man of equal piety your two other Brothers your disinterested Friend Mrs Beaumont your faithful Camilla all wholly disinterested
—What an enumeration against yourself—Forbidden as I am to give the cause against you what can I say Dearest Lady Clementina can I on your own representation give it for you
You know madam the sacrifice I have made to the plea of your conscience not my own I make
no doubt but parents so indulgent as yours will yield to your reasons if you can plead conscience against the performance of the filial duty the more a duty as it is so gently urged Nay hardly urged but by tears and wishes which the eyes not the lips express and which if you will perform your parents will think themselves under an obligation to their child
Lady Clementina is one of the most generous of women But consider madam in this instance of prefering your own will to that of the most indulgent of parents whether there is not an apparent selfishness inconsistent with your general character even were you to be as happy in a convent as you propose Would you not in that case live to yourself and renounce your parents and family as parts of that world which you would vow to despise—Dear Lady I asked you once before Is there any thing sinful in a Sacrament Such all good Catholics deem Matrimony And shall I ask you Whether as selfdenial is held to be meritorious in your church there is not a merit in denying yourself in the case before us when you can by performing the filial duty oblige your whole family
Permit me to say that tho a Protestant I am not an enemy to such foundations in general I could wish under proper regulations that we had Nunneneries among us I would not indeed have the obligation upon Nuns be perpetual Let them have liberty at the end of every two or three years to renew their vows or otherwise by the consent of friends Celibacy in the Clergy is an indispensable law of your church Yet a Cardinal has been allowed to lay down the purple and marry You know madam I must mean Ferdinand of Medicis Familyreasons in that case preponderated as well at Rome as at Florence
Of all the women I know Lady Clementina della Porretta should be the last who should be earnest to take the veil There can be but two persons in the world besides herself who will not be grieved at her
choice We know their reasons The will of her grandfathers now with God is against her and her living parents and every other person of her family those two excepted would be made unhappy if she sequestered herself from the world and them Clementina has charity She wishes she once said to take a great revenge upon Laurana Laurana has something to repent of Let her take the veil The fondness she has for the world a fondness which could make her break through all the ties of relation and humanity requires a check But are any of those in convents more pious more exemplary pious than Clementina is out of them
Much more could I urge on the same side of the question but what I have urged has been a task upon me a task which I could not have performed had I not preferred to my own the happiness of you and your family
May both earthly and heavenly blessings attend your determination whatever it be prays dearest madam
Your everfaithful Friend Affectionate Brother and Humble Servant CH GRANDISON
London Sat Sept 1829
I Have written my beloved friend to Lady Clementina and shall inclose a copy of my Letter
I own that till I received hers I thought there was a possibility tho not a probability that she might change her mind in my favour I foresaw that you would all join for familyreasons to press her to
marry And when thought I she finds herself very earnestly urged it is possible that she will forego her scruples and proposing some conditions for herself will honour with her hand the man whom she has avowedly honoured with a place in her heart rather than any other The malady she has been afflicted with often leaves for some time an unsteadiness in the mind: My absence as I proposed to settle in my native country never more perhaps to return to Italy the high notions she has of obligation and gratitude her declared confidence in my honour and affection all cooperating she may thought I change her mind and if she does I cannot doubt the favour of her friends It was not my Jeronymo presumptuous to hope It was justice to Clementina to attend the event and to wait for the promised Letter But now that I see you are all of one mind and that the dear Lady tho vehemently urged by all her friends to marry some other man can appeal to me only as to her fourth Brother and a man not interested in the event—I give up all my hopes
I have written accordingly to your dear Clementina but it could not be expected that I should give the argument all the weight that might be given it Yet being of opinion that she was in duty obliged to yield to the entreaties of all her friends I have been honest But surely no man ever was involved in so many difficult situations as your Grandison who yet never by enterprize or rashness was led out of the plain path into difficulties so uncommon
You wish my dear friend that I would set an example to your excellent sister I will unbosom my heart to you
There is a Lady an English Lady beautiful as an Angel but whose beauty is her least perfection either in my eyes or her own Had I never known Clementina I could not have loved her and only her of all the women I ever beheld It would not be doing her
justice if I could not say I do love her but with a flame as pure as the heart of Clementina or as her own heart can boast Clementinas distressed mind affected me I imputed her sufferings to her esteem for me The farewel interview denied her she demonstrated I thought so firm an affection for me at the same time that she was to me what I may truly call a first Love that tho▪ the difficulties in my way seemed insuperable I thought it became me in honour in gratitude to hold myself in suspense and not offer to make my addresses to any other woman till the destiny of the dear Clementina was determined
It would look like vanity in me to tell my Jeronymo how many proposals from the partial friends of women of rank and merit superior to my own I thought myself obliged in honour to the Ladies themselves to decline But my heart never suffered uneasiness from the uncertainty I was in of ever succeeding with your beloved sister but on this Ladys account I presume not however to say I could have succeeded had I thought myself at liberty to make my addresses to her Yet when I suffered myself to balance because of my uncertainty with your Clementina I had hopes from the interest my two sisters had with her her affections disengaged that had I been at liberty to make my addresses to her I might
Shall I my dear Jeronymo own the truth—The two noblestminded women in the world when I went over to Italy on the invitation of my Lord the Bishop held almost an equal interest in my heart and I was thereby enabled justly and with the greater command of myself to declare to the Marchioness and the General at my last going over that I held myself bound to you but that your sister and you all were free But when the dear Clementina began to shew signs of recovery and seemed to confirm the hopes I had of her partiality to me and my gratitude and attachment seemed of importance to her complete
restoration then my Jeronymo did I content myself with wishing another husband to the English Lady more worthy of her than my embarassed situation could have made me And when I farther experienced the condescending goodness of your whole family all united in my favour I had not a wish but for your Clementina
What a disappointment my Jeronymo was her rejection of me obliged as I was to admire the noble Lady the more for her motives of rejecting me
And now my dear friend what is your wish—That I shall set your sister an example How can I Is marriage in my power There is but one woman in the world now your dear Clementina has refused me that I can think worthy of succeeding her in my affections tho there are thousands of whom I am not worthy And ought that Lady to accept of a man whose heart had been anothers and that other living and single and still honouring him with so much of her regard as may be thought sufficient to attach a grateful heart and occasion a divided Love Clementina herself is not more truly delicate than this Lady Indeed Jeronymo I am ready when I contemplate my situation on a supposition of making my addresses to her to give up myself as the unworthiest of her favour of all the men I know and she has for an admirer almost every man who sees her—Even Olivia admires her Can I do justice to the merits of both and yet not appear to be divided by a double Love—For I will own to all the world my affection for Clementina and as once it was encouraged by her whole family glory in it
You see my Jeronymo how I am circumstanced The example I fear must come from Italy not from England Yet say I not this for punctiliosake It is not in my power to set it as it is in your Clementinas It would be presumption to suppose it is Clementina has not an aversion to the state She
cannot to the man you have in view since prepossession in favour of another is over—This is a hard push upon me I presume not to say what Clementina will what she can do But she is naturally the most dutiful of children and has a high sense of the more than common obligations she owes to parents to brothers to whom she has as unhappily as involuntarily given great distress Difference in Religion the motive of her rejecting me is not in the question Filial duty is an article of Religion
I do myself the honour of writing to the Marchioness to the General to Father Marescotti and to Mr Lowther May the Almighty perfect your recovery my Jeronymo and preserve in health and spirits the dear Clementina—and may every other laudable wish of the hearts of a family so trulyexcellent be granted to them—prays my dearest Jeronymo the friend who expects to see you in England the friend who loves you as he loves his own heart and equally honours all of your name and will so long as he is
CHARLES GRANDISON
Tuesday Sept 5
O My dear cousin I am now sure you will be the happiest of women Sir Charles Grandison made us a visit this very day—How Mr Reeves and I rejoiced to see him We had but just before been called upon by a line from Lady G to rejoice with her on her brothers happy arrival He said he was under obligation to go to Windsor and Hampshire upon extraordinary occasions but he could not go till he had paid his respects to us as well for our own sakes as to enquire after your health He had received
he said some disagreeable inimitations in relation to it We told him you were not well but we hoped not dangerously ill He said so many kind tender yet respectful things of you—O my Harriet I am sure and so is Mr Reeves he loves you dearly Yet we both wondered that he did not talk of paying you a visit But he may have great matters in hand—But what matters can be so great as not to be postponed if he loves you—and that he certainly does I should not have known how to contain my joy before him had he declared himself your Lover
He condescendingly asked to see my little boy—Was not that very good of him He would have won my heart by this condescension had he not had a great share of it before—For your sake my cousin You know I cannot mean otherwise And you know that except Mr Reeves and my little boy I love my Harriet better than anybody in the world Nobody in Northamptonshire I am sure will take exceptions at this
I thought I would write to you of this kind visit Be well now my dear All things I am sure will come abou for good God grant they may—I dare say he will visit you in Northamptonshire And if he does what can be his motive Not mere friendship Sir Charles Grandison is no trisler
I know you will be sorry to hear that Lady Betty Williams is in great affliction Miss Williams has run away with ensign who is not worth a shilling He is on the contrary over head and cars as the saying is in debt Such a mere girl But what shall we say?
Miss Cantillon has made as foolish a step Lord bless me I think girls in these days are bewitched A nominal captain too Her mother vows they shall both starve for her And they have no other dependence She cant live without her pleasures Neither can he without his A Ranelagh sop Poor wretches
What will become of them For everything is in her mothers power as to fortune—She has been met by Miss Allestree and looked so shy so silly so slatternly Unhappy coquettish thing
Well but God bless you my dear—My nursery calls upon me The dear little soul is so fond of me Adieu Compliments to everybody I have so much reason to love Mr Reevess too Once more Adieu
ELIZA REEVES
Selbyhouse Friday Sept 8
YOUR kind Letter my dear cousin has at the same time delighted and pained me I rejoyce in the declared esteem of one of the best of men and I honour him for his friendly love expressed to you and my cousin in the visit he made you But I am pained at your calling upon me in pity to my weakness shall I call it a weakness so ill concealed to rejoice that the excellent man when he has dispatched all his affairs of consequence and has nothing elso to do may possibly for you cannot be certain make me a visit in Northamptonshire—O my cousin And were his absence and the apprehension of his being the husband of another woman think you the occasion of my indisposition that I must now that the other affair seems determined in a manner so unexpected be bid at once to be well
Sir Charles Grandison my dear cousin may honour us with the prognosticated visit or not as he pleases But were he to declare himself my Lover my heart would not be so joyful as you seem to expect if Lady Clementina is to be unhappy What tho the refusal of marriage was hers was not that refusal
the greatest sacrifice that ever woman made to her superior duty Does she not still avow her Love to him And must he not ought he not ever to love her And here my pride puts in its claim to attention—Shall your Harriet sit down and think herself happy in a secondplace Love Yet let me own to you my cousin that Sir Charles Grandison is dearer to me than all else that I hold most dear in this world And if Clementina could be not un happy Happy I have no notion she can be without him and he were to declare himself my Lover Affectation be gone I would say I will trust to my own heart and to my future conduct to make for myself an interest in his affections that should enrich my content in other words, that should make me more than contented
But time will soon determine my destiny I will have patience to wait its determination I make no doubt but he has sufficient reasons for all he does
I am as much delighted as you could be at the notice he took of your dear infant The brave must be humane And what greater instance of humanity can be shewn than for grown persons to look back upon the state they were once themselves in with tenderness and compassion
I am very sorry for the cause of Lady Bettys affliction Pity the good Lady took not—But I will not be severe after I have said that childrens faults are not always originally their own
Poor Miss Cantillon—But she was not under age and as her punishment was of her own choosing—I am sorry however for both I hope after they have smarted something will be done for the poor wretches Good parents will be placable bad ones or such as have not given good examples ought to be so
God continue to you my dear cousins both your present comforts and increase your pleasures for all your pleasures are innocent ones prays
Your ever obliged and affectionate▪ HARRIET BYRON
Selbyhouse Wedn Sept 20
My dearest Lady G
DO you know what is become of your brother My grandmamma Shirely has seen his Ghost and talked with it near an hour and then it vanished Be not surprized my dear creature I am still in amaze at the account my grandmamma gives us of its appearance discourse and vanishing Nor was the dear parent in a resverie It happened in the middle of the afternoon all in broad day Thus she tells it
I was sitting said she in my own drawingroom yesterday by myself when in came James to whom it first appeared and told me that a gentleman desired to be introduced to me I was reading Sherlock upon Death with that chearfulness with which I always meditate the subject I gave orders for his admittance and in came to appearance one of the handsomest men I ever saw in my life in a ridingdress It was a courteous Ghost It saluted me or at least I thought it did For it answering to the description that you my Harriet had given me of that amiable man I was surprised But contrary to the manner of ghosts it spoke first—Venerable Lady it called me and said its name was Grandison in a voice—so like what I had heard you spake of it that I had no doubt but it was Sir Charles Grandison himself and was ready to fall down to welcome him
It took its place by me You madam said it will forgive this intrusion And it made several fine speeches with an air so modest so manly—It had almost all the talk to itself. I could only bow and
be pleased for still I thought it was corporally and indeed Sir Charles Grandison It said that it had but a very little while to stay It must reach I dont know what place that night—What said I will you not go to Selbyhouse Will you not see my daughter Byron Will you not see her aunt Selby No it desired to be excused It talked of leaving a pacquet behind it and seemed to pull out of its pocket a parcel of Letters sealed up It broke the seal and laid the parcel on the table before me It refused refreshment It desired in a courtly manner an answer to what it had discoursed upon—Made a profound reverence—and—vanished
And now my dear Lady G let me repeat my question What is become of your brother
Forgive me this light this amusing manner My grandmamma speaks of this visit as an appearance so sudden and so short and nobody seeing him but she that it gave a kind of amusing levity to my pen and I could not resist the temptation I was under to surprise you as he has done us all How could he take such a journey see nobody but my grandmamma and fly the country Did he do it to spare us or to spare himself
The direct truth is this My grandmamma was sitting by herself as above James told her as above that a gentleman desired to be introduced to her He was introduced He called himself by his own name took her hand saluted her—Your character madam and mine said he are so well known to each other that tho I never before had the honour of approaching you I may presume upon your pardon for this intrusion
He then launched out in the praises of your happy friend With what delight did the dear the indulgent parent repeat them from his mouth I hope she mingled not her own partialities with them whether I deserved them or not for sweet is praise from
those we wish to love us And then he said You see before you madam a man glorying in his affection to one of the most excellent of your Sex an Italian Lady the pride of Italy And who from motives which cannot be withstood has rejected him at the very time that all her friends consenting and innumerable difficulties overcome he expected that she would yield her hand to his wishes—And they were his wishes My friendship for the dear Miss Byron You and she must authorize me to call it by a still dearer name before I dare to it is well known That also has been my pride I know too well what belongs to female delicacy in general and particularly to that of Miss Byron to address myself first to her on the subject which occasions you this trouble I am not accustomed to make professions not even to Ladies—Is it consistent with your notions of delicacy madam Will it be with Mr and Mrs Selbys to give your interest in favour of a man who is thus situated A rejected man A man who dares to own that the rejection was a disappointment to him and that he tenderly loved the fair rejecter If it will and Miss Byron can accept the tender of a heart that has been divided unaccountably so the circumstances I presume you know then will you then will she lay me under an obligation that I can only endeavour to repay by the utmost gratitude and affection—But if not I shall admire the delicacy of the second refuser as I do the piety of the first and at least suspend all thoughts of a change of condition
Noblest of men—And my grandmamma was proceeding in high strains but very sincere ones when interrupting her and pulling out of his pocket the pacquet I mentioned above I presume madam said he that I see favour and goodness to me in your benign countenance But I will not even be favoured but upon your full knowledge of all the facts I am master of myself I will be the guardian of the delicacy
of Miss Byron and all her friends in this important case rather than the discourager tho I were to suffer by it You will be so good as to read these Letters to your daughter Byron to her Lucy to Mr and Mrs Selby and to whom else you will think fit to call to the consultation They will be those I presume who already know something of the history of the excellent Clementina If on the perusal of them I may be admitted to pay my respects to Miss Byron consistently as I hinted with her notions and yours of that delicacy by which she was always directed and at the same time be received with that noble frankness which has distinguished her in my eye above all women but one Excuse me madam I must always put these sistersouls upon an equal foot of excellence then shall I be a happier man than the happiest Your answer madam by pen and ink will greatly oblige me and the more the sooner I can be favoured with it because being requested by my friends abroad to set an example to their beloved Clementina as you will see in more than one of these Letters I would avoid all punctilio and let them know that I had offered myself to Miss Byron and have not been mortified with absolute denial if I may be so happy as to be allowed to write so
Thus did this most generous of men prevent by this reference to the Letters my grandmammas heart overflowing to her lips He should directly he said proceed on his journey to London and was in such haste to be gone when he had said what he had to say that it precipitated a little my grandmammas spirits But the joy she was filled with on the occasion was so great that she only had a concern upon her when he was gone as if something was left by her undone or unsaid which she thought should have been said and done to oblige him
The Letters he left on the table were copies of what he wrote from Lyons to the Marquis and Marchioness
the Bishop the General and Father Marescotti as also to Lady Ciementina and her brother the good Jeronymo a That to the Lady cannot be enough admired for the tenderness yet for the acquiescence with her will expressed in it Surely they were born for each other however it happens that they are not likely to come together
A Letter from Signor Jeronymo in answer to his from Lyons I will mention next In this—Sir Charles is wished to use his supposed influence upon Lady Clementina What a hard task upon him to dissuade her from the thoughts of going into a nunnery and to resolve upon marriage b
Next is a Letter of Lady Clementina to Sir Charles complaining tenderly of persecution from her friends who press her to marry while she contends to be allowed to take the veil and applies to Sir Charles for his interest in her behalf
The next is Sir Charless reply to Lady Clementina
Then follows a Letter from Sir Charles to Signor Jeronymo I have copied these three last and inclose them in confidence c
By these you will see my dear that the affair between this excellent man and woman is entirely given up by both and also in his reply to Signor Jeronymo that your Harriet is referred to as his next choice And how can I ever enough value him for the dignity he has given me in putting it as it should seem in my power to lay an obligation upon him in making for me my own scruples and now lastly in the method he has taken in the application to my grandmamma instead of to me and leaving all to our determination But thus should the men give dignity even for their own saken to the women whom they wish to be theirs Were there more Sir Charles Grandisons would not even the Female world
much better as I hope it is than the Male be amended
My grandmamma the moment Sir Charles was gone sent to us that she had some very agreeable news to surprise us with and therefore desired the whole family of us her Byron particularly to attend her at Breakfast the next morning We looked upon one another, at the message and wondered I was not well and would have excused myself but my aunt insisted upon my going Little did I or anybody else think of your brother having visited my grandmamma in person When she acquainted us that he had my weakened spirits wanted support I was obliged to withdraw with Lucy
I thought I could not bear when I recovered myself that he should be so near and not once call in and enquire after the health of the creature for whom he professed so high an esteem and even affection But when on my return to company my grandmamma related what passed between them and the Letters were read then again were my failing spirits unable to support me They all gazed upon me as the Letters were reading as well as while my grandmamma was giving the relation of what he said and of the noble the manly air with which he delivered himself—With joy and silent congratulation they gazed upon me while I felt such a variety of sensibilities in my heart as I never felt before sensibilities mixed with wonder and I was sometimes ready to doubt whether I were not in a resverie whether indeed I was in this world or another whether I was Harriet Byron—I know not how to describe what I felt in my now fluttering now rejoicing now dejected heart—
Dejected—Yes my dear Lady G Dejection was a strong ingredient in my sensibilities I know not why Yet may there not be a fulness in joy that will mingle dissatisfaction with it If there may shall I
be excused for my solemnity if I deduce from thence an argument that the human soul is not to be fully satisfied by worldly enjoyments and that therefore the completion of its happiness must be in another a more perfect state You Lady G are a very good woman tho a lively one and I will not excuse you if on an occasion that bids me look forward to a very solemn event you will not forgive my seriousnes—That bids me look forward I repeat for Sir Charles Grandison cannot alter his mind The world has not wherewith to tempt him to alter it after he has made such advances except I misbehave
Well my dear and what was the result of our conference—My grandmamma my aunt and Lucy were of opinion that I ought no more to revolve the notions of a divided or secondplaced Love That every point of female delicacy was answered That he ought not only still to be allowed to love Lady Clementina but that I and all her Sex should revere her That my grandmamma being the person applied to should answer for me for us all in words of her own choosing
I was silent What think you my dear said my aunt with her accustomed tenderness
Think said my uncle with his usual facetiousness Do you think if Harriet had one objection she would have been silent I am for sending up for Sir Charles out of hand Let him come the first day of next week and let them be married before the end of it
Not quite so hasty neither Mr Selby said my grandmamma smiling Let us send to Mr Deane His love for my child and regard for deserve the most grateful returns
What a duce and defer an answer to Sir Charles who gives a generous reason for the sake of the Lady abroad and her family and I hope he thinks a little of his own sake for wishing a speedy answer—
No Mr Selby Not deser writing neither We
know enough of Mr Deanes mind already But for my part I dont know what terms what conditions what additions to my childs fortune to propose—
Additions madam—Why ay there must be some to be sure—And we are able and as willing as able let me tell you to make them—
I beseech you Sir said I—Pray madam—No more of this—Surely it is time enough to talk of these subjects
So it is niece Mr Deane is a lawyer God help me I never was brought up to any-thing but to live on the fat of the land as the saying is Mr Deane and Sir Charles shall talk this matter over by themselves Let us as you say send for Mr Deane But I will myself be the messenger of these joyful tidings
My uncle then tuned out in his gay manner a line of an old song and then said Ill go to Mr Deane I will set out this very day—Pull down the wall as one of our kings said the door is too far about—Ill bring Mr Deane with me tomorrow or it shall cost me a fall
You know my uncle my dear In this manner did he express his joy
My grandmother retired to her closet and this that follows is what she wrote to Sir Charles Everybody is pleased whenever she takes up the pen No one made objection to a single word in it
Dear Sir
REserve would be unpardonable on our side tho the womans to a man who is above reserve and whose offers are the result of deliberation and an affection that being founded in the merit of our dearest child cannot be doubted We all receive as an honour the offer you make us of an alliance which would do credit to families of the first rank It will perhaps be one day owned to you that it was the height of Mr Selbys wishes and mine that the man
who had rescued the dear createre from insult and distress might be at liberty to intitle himself to her grateful Love
The noble manner in which you have explained yourself on a subject which has greatly embarrassed you has abundantly satisfied Mrs Selby Lucy and myself We can have no scruples of delicacy Nor am I afraid of suffering from yours by my frankness But as to our Harriet—You may perhaps meet with some not affectation she is a ove it difficulty with her if you expect her whole heart to be yours She Sir experimentally knows how to allow for a double a divided Love—Dr Bartlett perhaps should not have favoured her with the character of a Lady whom she prefers to herself and Mrs Selby and I have sometimes as we read her melancholy story thought not unjustly If she can be induced to love to honour the man of her choice as much as she loves honours and admires Lady Clementina the happy Man will have reason to be satisfied You see Sir that we who were able to give a preference to the same Lady against ourselves Harriet Byron is ourself can have no scruples on your giving it to the same incomparable woman May that Lady be happy If she were not to be so and her unhappiness were to be owing to our happiness that dear Sir would be all that could pain the hearts of any of us on an occasion so very agreeable to
Your sincere Friend and Servant HENRIETTA SHIRLEY
But my dear Lady G does your brother tell you and Lady L nothing of his intentions Why if he does do not you—But I can have no doubt Is not the man Sir Charles Grandison And yet methinks I want to know what the contents of his next Letters from Italy will be
You will have no scruple my dear Lady G to
shew my whole Letter to Lady L and if you please to my Emily—But only mention the contents in your own way to the gentlemen I beg you will yourself shew it to Mrs Reeves She will rejoice in her prognostigations Use that word to her She will understand you Your brother must now less than ever see what I write I depend upon your discretion my dear Lady G
HARRIET BYRON
Wedn Sept 23
EXcellent Mrs Shirley Incomparable woman How I love her If I were such an excellent ancient I would no more wish to be young than she has so often told us she does What my brother once said and you once wrote to your Lucy is true in her case at least that the matronly and advanced time of life in a woman is far from being the least elegible part of it especially I may add when health and a good conscience accompany it What a spirit does she at her time of Life write with—But her heart is in her subject—I hope I may say that Harriet without offending you
Not a word did my brother speak of his intention till he received that Letter and then he invited Lady L and me and our two honest men to afternoon tea with him—O but I have not reckoned with you for your saucy rebukes in your last of the 7th I owe you a spite for it and Harriet depend on payment—What was I writing—I have it— And when tea was over he without a blush without looking down as a girl would do in this situation—But why so Harriet Is a woman on these occasions to act a part as if she supposed herself to be the greatest gainer by
matrimony and therefore was ashamed of consenting to accept of an honourable offer As if in other words, she was to be the self-denying receiver rather than conferrer of an obligation—Lord how we ramblingheaded creatures break in upon ourselves with a good grace he told us of his intention to marry of his apparition to Mrs Shirley of his sudden vanishing and all that—And then he produced Mrs Shirleys Letter but just received
And do you think we were not overjoyed—Indeed we were We congratulated him We congratulated each other Lord L looked as he did when Caroline gave him his happy day Lord G could not keep his seat He was tipsy poor man with his joy Aunt Nell prankd herself stroked her ribbands of pink and yellow and chuckled and mumped for joy that her nephew at last would not go out of Old England for a wife She was mightily pleased too with Mrs Shirleys Letter It was just such a one as she herself would have written upon the occasion
I posted afterward to Mrs Reeves to shew her as you requested your Letter And when we had read it there was Dear Madam and Dear Sir and now this and now that and Thank God—three times in a breath and we were cousins and cousins and cousins And O blessed And O be joyful And—Hail the day—And God grant it to be a short one—And How will Harriet answer to the question Will not her frankness be tryd He despises affectation So he thinks does she—Good Sirs and O dears—How things are brought about—O my Harriet you never heard or saw such congratulations between three gossips as were between our two cousin Reevess and me And not a little did the good woman pride herself in her prognostics for she explained that matter to me
Dr Bartlett is at Grandisonhall with our unhappy cousin How will the good man rejoice
Now you will ask What became of Emily—
By the way do you know that Mrs OHara is turned Methodist True as you are alive And she labours hard to convert her husband Thank God she is any-thing that is serious Those People have really great merit with me in her conversion—I am sorry that our own Clergy are not as zealously in earnest as they They have really my dear if we may believe aunt Eleanor given a face of religion to subterranean colliers tinners and the most profligate of men who hardly ever before heard either of the word or thing But I am not turning Methodist Harriet No you will not suspect me
Now Emily who is at present my visiter had asked leave before my brothers invitation and was gone my Jenny attending her to visit her mother who is not well My brother was engaged to sup abroad with some of the Danbys I believe I therefore made Lord and Lady L cousin Reeves and cousin Reeves and my aunt Grandison sup with me
Emily was at home before me—Ah the poor Emily—Ill tell you how it was between us—
My lovely girl my dear Emily said I I have good news to tell you about Miss Byron
O thank God—And is she well Pray madam tell me tell me I long to hear good news of my dear Miss Byron
Why she will shortly be married Emily—
Married madam—
Yes my love—And to your guardian child—
To my guardian madam—Well but I hope so—
I then gave her a few particulars
The dear girl tried to be joyful and burst into tears
Why weeps my girl—O fie Are you sorry that Miss Byron will have your guardian I thought you loved Miss Byron
So I do madam as my own self and more than myself if possible—But the surprize madam—Indeed I am glad What makes me such a fool—Indeed I am glad—What ails me to cry I wonder It is what I wished what I prayed for night and day Dear madam dont tell anybody I am ashamed of myself
The sweet Aprilfaced girl then smiled through her tears
I was charmed with her innocent sensibility and if you are not I shall think less of you than ever I did yet
Dear madam said she permit me to withdraw for a few minutes I must have my cry out—And I shall then be all joy and gladness
She tript away and in half an hour came down to me with quite another face
Lady L was then with me I had told her of the girls emotion We are equally lovers of you my dear said I you need not be afraid of Lady L
And have you told madam—Well but I am not a hypocrite What a strange thing I who have always been so much afraid of another Lady for Miss Byrons sake to be so oddly affected as if I were sorry—Indeed I rejoice—But if you tell Miss Byron she wont love me She wont let me live with her and my guardian when she is happy and has made him so And what shall I do then for I have set my heart upon it
Miss Byron my dear loves you so well that she will not be able to deny you any-thing your heart is set upon that is in her power to grant
God bless Miss Byron as I love her and she will be the happiest of women—But what was the matter with me—Yet I believe I know—My poor mother had been crying sadly to me for her past unhappy life She kissed me as she said for my Fathers
sake She had been the worst of wives to the best of husbands
Again the good girl wept at her mothers remembered remorse—My guar—my guardians goodness my mother said had awakened her to a sense of her wickedness My poor mother did not spare herself And I was all sorrow for what could I say to her on such a subject—And all the way that I came home in the coach I did nothing but cry I had but just dried my eyes and tried to look chearful when you came in And then when you told me the good news something struck me all at once struck my very heart I cannot account for it I know not what to liken it to—And had I not burst into tears I believe it would have been worse for me But now I am myself and if my poor mother could pacify her conscience I should be a happy creature—because of Miss Byrons happiness You look at each other Ladies But if you think I should not bid me be gone from your presence for a false girl and never see you more
Now Harriet this emotion of Emily appears to me as a sort of phaenomenon Do you account for it as you will but I am sure Emily is no hypocrite She has no art She believes what she says that her sudden burst of tears was owing to her heart being affected by her mothers contrition And I am also sure that she loves you above all the women in the world Yet it is possible that the subtle thief ycleped Love had got very near her heart and just at the moment threw a dart into one angle of it which was the something that struck her all at once as she phrased it and made her find tears a relief This I know my dear that we may be very differently affected by the same event when judged of at a distance and near If you dont already or if you soon will not experience the truth of this observation in the great event before you I am much mistaken
But you see Harriet what joy this happy declaration of my brother and the kind reception it has met with from Northamptonshire has given us all We will keep your secret never fear till all is over and when it is you shall let my brother know from the Letters we have had the favour of seeing as much as we do Till he does excellent as he thinks you he will not know one half of your excellencies nor the merit which your Love and your Suspenses have made you with him
But with you I long for the arrival of the next Letters from Italy God grant that Lady Clementina hold her resolution now that she sees it is almost impossible for her to avoid marrying If she should relent what would be the consequence to my brother to herself to you And how shall all we his friends and yours be affected You think the Lady is obliged in duty to her parents to marry Lady L and I are determined to be wise and not give our opinions till the events which are yet in the bosom of Fate disclosing themselves shall not leave us a possibility of being much mistaken And yet as to what the filial duty requires of her we think she ought to marry Mean time I repeat
God grant that Lady Clementina now hold her mind
LADY L sends up her name Formality in her surely I will chide her But here she comes—I love Harriet to write to the moment thats a knack I had from you and my brother And be sure continue it on every occasion No pathetic without it
Your servant Lady L
And your servant Lady G—Writing To whom
To our Harriet—
I will read your Letter—Shall I
Take it but read it out that I may know what I have written
Now give it me again Ill write down what you say to it Lady L
Lady L I say you are a whimsical creature But I dont like what you have last written
Charlotte Last written—Tis down—But why so Lady L
Lady L How can you thus teaze our beloved Byron with your conjectural evils
Ch Have I supposed an impossibility—But tis down—Conjectural evils
Lady L If you are so whimsical write—
My dear Miss Byron—
Ch My dear Miss Byron—Tis down
Lady L Looking over me
Do not let what this strange Charlotte has written grieve you—
Ch Very well Caroline—grieve you—
Lady L Sufficient to the day is the evil thereof
Ch Well observed—Words of Scripture I believe—Well—evil thereof—
Lady L Never surely was there such a creature as you Charlotte—
Ch Thats down too—
Lady L I that down laughing—That should not have been down—Yet tis true
Ch Yet tis true—Whats next
Lady L Pish—
Ch Pish—
Lady L Well now to Harriet—
Clementina cannot alter her resolution her objection still subsisting Her Love for my brother
—
Ch Hold Lady L Too much at one time—Her Love for my brother—
Lady L
On which her apprehensions that she shall not be able if she be his wife
—
Ch Not so much at once I tell you It is too much for my giddy head to remember—if she be his wife—
Lady L—
to adhere to her own religion are founded
—
Ch—founded
Lady L
Is a security for her adherence to a resolution so glorious to herself
Ch Well said Lady L—May it be so say and pray I—Any more Lady L
Lady L
Therefore
—
Ch Therefore—
Lady L
Regard not the perplexing Charlotte
—
Ch I thank you▪ Caroline—perplexing Charlotte—
Lady L
Is the advice of your everaffectionate Sister Friend and Servant
—
Ch So—Friend and Servant—
Lady L Give me the pen—
Ch Take another—She did—and subscribed her name C L
With all my heart Harriet And here after I have repeated my hearty wishes that nothing of this that I have so sagely apprehended may happen for I desire not to be dubbed a witch so much at my own as well as at your expence I will also subscribe that of
Your no less affectionate Sister Friend and Servant CHARLOTTE G
My brother says he has sent you a Letter and your grandmamma another—Full of grateful sensibilities both I make no question—But no Flight or Goddessmaking absurdity I dare say You will give us copies if you are as obliging as you used to be
Monday Sept 25
WHAT have I done to my Charlotte Is there not something cold and particular in your stile especially in that part of your Letter preceding the entrance of my good Lady L And in your Postscript—You will give us copies if you are as obliging as you used to be—Why should I when likely to be more obliged to you than ever be less obliging than before I cant bear this from Lady G Are you giving me a proof of the truth of your own observation
That we may be very differently affected by the same event when judged of at a distance and near
—I could not support my spirits if the sister of Sir Charles Grandison loved me the less for the distinction her brother pays me
And what my dear if Lady Clementina should RELENT as you phrase it My friends might be now grieved—Well and I might be affected too more than if the visit to my grandmamma had not been made I own it—But the high veneration I truly profess to have for Lady Clementina would be parade and pretension if whatever became of your Harriet I did not resolve in that case to try at least to make myself easy and give up to her prior and worthier claim And I should consider her effort tho unsuccessful as having intitled her to my highest esteem To what we know to be right we ought to submit the more difficult the more meritorious And in this case your Harriet would conquer or die If she conquered she would then in that instance be greater than even Clementina O my dear we know not till we have the trial what emulation will enable a warm and honest mind to do
I will send you inclosed copies of the two Letters transcribed by Lucy a I am very proud of them both perhaps too proud and it may be necessary that I should be pulled down tho I expected it not from my Charlotte
To be complimented in so noble and sincere a manner as you will see I am with the power of laying an obligation on him
instead of owing it to his compassionate consideration for a creature so long labouring in suspense and then despairing that her hopes could be answered is enough at the same time to flatter her vanity and gratify the most delicate sensibility
You will see
how gratefully he takes my grandmammas hint that I knew how by experience to account for a double a divided Love as she is pleased to call it—and the preference my aunt and herself and I have given to the claim of Lady Clementina
You my dear know our sincerity in this particular There is some merit in owning a truth when it makes against us To do justice in anothers case against ones self, is, methinks making at least a second merit for ones self
He asks my leave to attend me at Selbyhouse
—I should rejoice to see him—But I could wish methinks that he had first received Letters from abroad But how can I hint my wishes to him without implying either doubt or reserve—Reserve in the delay of his visit implied by such hint doubt of his being at liberty to pursue his intentions That would not become me to shew as it might make him think that I wanted protestations and assurances from him in order to bind him to me when if the situation be such as obliges him to balance but in thought and I could know it I would die before I would accept of his hand He has confirmed and established as I may say my pride I had always some by the distinction he has given
me Yet I should despise myself if I found it gave me either arrogance or affectation
He is so considerate as to despense with my answering his Letters
for he is pleased to say
That if I do not forbid him to come down by my aunt Selby or my grandmamma he will presume upon my leave
My uncle set out for Peterborough in order to bring Mr Deane with him to Selbyhouse Poor Mr Deane had kept his chamber for a week before yet had not let us know he was ill He was forbid to go abroad for two days more but was so overjoyed at what my uncle communicated to him that he said he was not sensible of alling any-thing; and he would have come with my uncle next day but neither he nor the doctor would permit it But on Tuesday he came—Such joy—Dear good man—Such congratulation—How considerable to their happiness do they all make that of their tootoo much obliged Harriet
They have been in consultation often but they have excluded me from some particular ones I guess the subject and beg of them that I may not be too much obliged What critical situations have I been in When will they be at an end
Mr Deane has written to Sir Charles I am not to know the contents of his Letter The hearts of us women when we are urged to give way to a clandestine and unequal address or when inclined to favour such a one are apt and are pleaded with to rise against the notions of bargain and sale Smithfield bargains you Londoners call them But unjust is the odium if preliminaries are necessary in all treaties of this nature And surely previous stipulations are indispensably so among us changeable mortals however promising the sunshine may be at our setting out on the journey of life a journey too that will not be ended but with the life of one of the travellers
If I ever were to be tempted to wish for great
wealth it would be for the sake of Sir Charles Grandison that I might be a means of enlarging his power Since I am convinced that the necessities of every worthy person within the large circle of his acquaintance would be relieved according to his ability
My dear Emily—Ah Lady G Was it possible for you to think that my pity for the amiable Innocent should not increase my love of her I will give you leave indeed to despise me if you ever find any-thing in my behaviour to Emily let me be circumstanced as I will that shall shew an abatement of that tender affection which ever must warm my heart in her favour Whenever I can promise any-thing for myself then shall Emily be a partaker of my felicity in the way her own heart shall direct I hope for her own sake that the dear girl puts the matter right when she attributes her sudden burst of tears to the weakness of her spirits occasioned by her mothers remorse But let me say one thing It would grieve me as much as it did Sir Charles in the Count of Belvederes case to stand in the way of anybodys happiness It is not you see your brothers fault that he is not the husband of Lady Clementina She wishes him to marry an Englishwoman—Nor is even the hope of Lady Olivia frustrated by me You know I always pitied her and that before I knew from Sir Charless Letter to Signor Jeronymo that she thought kindly of me—Lady Anne S Do you think my dear that worthy Lady could have hopes were it not for me—And could my Emily have any were I out of the world—No surely The very wardship which he executes with so much indulgent goodness to her would exclude all such hopes considerable enough as his estate is to answer a larger fortune than even Emilys Were hers not half so much as it is it would perhaps be more likely than now that his generous mind might be disposed in her favour some years hence
Let me however tell you that true sisterly pity overwhelmed my heart when I first read that part of your Letter which so pathetically describes her tender woe Be the occasion her Duty or her Love or owing to a mixture of both I am charmed with her beautiful simplicity I wept over that part of your Letter for half an hour for I was by myself and more than once I looked round and round me wishing for the dear creature to be near me and wanting to clasp her to my bosom
Love me still and that as well as ever my dear Lady G or I shall want a great ingredient of happiness in whatever situation I may be I have written to thank my dear Lady L for her goodness to me in dictating to your pen and I thank you my dear for being dictated to I cannot be well Send me but one line ease my overburdened heart of one of its anxieties by telling me that there has nothing passed of littleness in me that has abated your love to
Your evergrateful everaffectionate HARRIET BYRON
GrosvenorSquare Wedn Sept 27
FLY Script of one line on the wings of the wind fly to acquaint my Harriet that I love her above all women—and all men too my brother excepted Tell her that I now love her with an increased love because I love her for his sake as well as her own
Forgive my dear all the carelessness as you always did the flippancies of my pen The happy prospect that all our wishes would be succeeded to us had given a levity a wantonness to it Wicked pen—But I have burnt the whole parcel from which I took
it—Yet I should correct myself for I dont know whether I did not intend to teaze a little I dont know whether my compassion for Emily did not make me more silly If that were so for really I suffered my pen to take its course at the time therefore burnt it I know you will the more readily forgive me
Littleness Harriet You are all that is great and good in woman The littleness of others adds to your greatness Have not my foibles always proved this—No my dear you are as great as—Clementina herself And I love you better if possible than I love myself
A few lines more on other subjects for I cant write a short Letter to my Harriet—
The Countess of D has made my brother a visit I happened to be at his house They were alone together near an hour At going away he attending her to her chair she took my hand All all my hopes are over said she but I will love Miss Byron for all that Nor shall you Sir Charles in the day of your power deny me my correspondent Nor must you madam and Lady L a friendship with Sir Charles Grandisons two sisters
Lady W and my sister and I correspond I want you to know her that you may love her as well as we do Lovematches my dear are foolish things I know not how you will find it some time hence No general rule however without exceptions you know Violent Love on one side is enough in conscience if the other be not a fool or ungrateful The Lover and Lovée make generally the happiest couple Mild sedate convenience is better than a stark staringmad passion The wallclimbers the hedge and ditchleapers the riverforders the windowdroppers always find reason to think so Who ever hears of darts flames Cupids Venuss Adoniss and suchlike nonsense in matrimony—Passion is transitory but discretion which never bois over gives durable
happiness See Lord and Lady W Lord G and his good woman for instances
O my mad head And wh•• think you did I mention my corresponding with Lady W—Only to tell you and I had like to have forgot it that she felicitates me in her last on the like•ihood of a happy acquisition to our family from what my brother communicated of his intention to make his addresses to Somebody—I warrant you guess to whom
Lady Anne S—Poor Lady Anne S—I dare not tell my brothet how much she loves him I am sure it would make him uneasy
Beauchamp desires his compliments to you He is in great affliction Poor Sir Harry is thought irrecoverable Different physicians have gone their rounds with him But the new ones only ask what the old ones did that they may guess at something else to make trial of When a patient has money it is hard I believe for a physician to be honest and to say till the last extremity That the Parson and Sexton may take him
Adieu my love—Adieu all my grandmammas aunts cousins and kins kin of Northamptonshire—Adieu
CHARLOTTE G
Tuesday Oct 3
A Thousand thanks to you my dear Lady G for the favour of your last You have reassured me in it I think I could not have been happy even in the affection of Sir Charles Grandison were I to have found an abatement in the Love of his two sisters Who that knows you both and that had been favoured with your friendship could have been satisfied with the least diminution of it
I have a Letter from the Countess of D a She is a most generous woman
She even congratulates me on your brothers account from the conversation that passed between him and her She gives me the particulars of that conversation Exceedingly flattering are they to my vanity
I must my dear be happy if you continue to love me and if I can know that Lady Clementina is not unhappy This latter is a piece of Intelligence necessary I was going to say for my tranquility For can your brother be happy if that Lady be otherwise whose grievous malady could hold in suspence his generous heart when he had no prospects at the time of ever calling her his
I pity from my heart Lady Anne S What a dreadful thing is hopeless Love the object so worthy that every mouth is full of his praises How many women will your brothers preference of one be she who she will disappoint in their first Loves Yet out of a hundred women how few are there who for one reason or other have the man of their choice
I remember you once said It was well that Love is not a passion absolutely invincible But however I do not my dear agree with you in your notions of all Lovematches Love merely personal that sort of Love which commences between the year of fifteen and twenty and when the extraordinary merit of the object is not the foundation of it may I believe and perhaps generally ought to be subdued But Love that is founded on a merit that everybody acknowleges—I dont know what to say to the vincibility of such a Love For myself I think it impossible that I ever could have been the wife of any man on earth and given him my affection in so entire a manner as should on reflexion have acquitted my own heart—Tho I hope I should not have been wanting in my general duties—And why impossible Because I must
have been conscious that there was another man whom I would have preferred to him Let me add that when prospects were darkest with regard to my wishes I promised my grandmamma and aunt to make myself easy at least to endeavour to do so if they never would propose to me the Earl of D or any other man They did promise me
Lady D in her Letter to me
is so good as to claim the continuance of my correspondence
Most ungrateful and equally selfdenying must I be if I were to decline my part of it
I have a Letter from Sir Rowland Meredith aYou who have seen his former Letters to me need not be shewn this The same honest heart appears in them all the same kind professions of paternal love You love Sir Rowland and will be pleased to hear that his worthy nephew is likely to recover his health I cannot however be joyful that they are resolved to make me soon one more visit But you will see that Mr Fowler thinks if he could be allowed to visit me once more he should tho hoping nothing from the visit be easier for the rest of his life A strange way of thinking supposing Love to be his distemper Is it not
I have a Letter from Mr Fenwick He is arrived at his seat near Daventry He has made a very short excursion abroad He tells me in it that he designs me a visit on a particular subject If it be as I suspect to engage my interest with my Lucy he shall not have her He is not worthy of her
The friendship and favour of Lady W is one of the great felicities which seem to offer to bless my future lot
Mr Greville is the most persevering as well as most audacious of men As other men endeavour to gain a womans affections by politeness he makes pride illnature and impetuosity the proofs of his Love
and thinks himself ill used especially since his large acquisition of fortune that they are not accepted as such He has obliged Mr Deane to hear his pleas and presumed to hope for his favour Mr Deane frankly told him that his interest lay quite another way He then insolently threatened with destruction the man be he who he will that shall stand in his way He doubts not he says but Sir Charles Grandison is the man designed But if so cool a Lover is to be encouraged against so servent a one as himself he is mistaken in all his notions of womens conduct and judgments in Lovematters A discrect Lover he says is an unnatural character Women the odious wretch says love to be devoured Is he not an odious wretch and if Miss Byron can content herself with another womans leavings for that he says he is well informed is the case he knows what he shall think of her spirit And then he threw out as usual reflections on our Sex which had malice in them
This mans threats disturb me God grant that your brother may not meet with any more embarrasments from insolent men on my account
If these men this Greville in particular would let me be at peace I should be better I believe in my health But Lady Frampton is his advocate by Letter He watches my footsteps and in every visit I make throws himself in the way And on Sundays he is always ready with his officious hand as I alight to enter the church and to lead me back to my uncles coach My uncle cannot affront him because he will not be affronted by him He rallies off with an intrepidity that never was exceeded all that my aunt says to him I repulse him with anger everywhere but in a place so public and so sacred He disturbs my devotion with his staring eyes always fixed on our pew which draw every ones after them He has the assurance when he intrudes himself into my company to laugh off my anger telling me
that it is what he has long wished for and that now he is so much used to it that he can live on my frowns and cannot support life without them He plainly tells me that Mr Fenwicks arrival from abroad and another certain persons also are the occasion of his resumed sedulity
Everybody about us in short is interested for or against him He makes me appear coy and ridiculous He—But no more of this bold man Would to Heaven that some one of those who like such would relieve me from him
Visiters and the post oblige me sooner than I otherwise should to conclude myself my dear Lady G
Ever Yours HARRIET BYRON
Selbyhouse Tuesday Oct 3
AN alliance more acceptable were it with a prince could not be proposed than that which Sir Charles Grandison in a manner so worthy of himself has proposed with a family who have thought themselves under obligation to him ever since he delivered the darling of it from the lawless attempts of a savage Libertine I know to whom I write and will own that it has been my wish in a most particular manner
As to the surviving part of the family exclusive of Miss Byron for I will mention her parents byandby it is in all its branches worthy Indeed Sir your wish of a relation to them is not a discredit to your high character As to the young Lady—I say nothing of her—Yet how shall I forbear—O Sir believe me she will dignify your choice Her duty
and her inclination through every relation of life were never divided
Excuse me Sir—No parent was ever more fond of his child than I have been from her infancy of this my daughter by adoption Hence Sir being consulted on this occasion as my affection I will say for the whole family deserves I take upon me to acquaint you before any further steps are taken what our dear childs fortune will be For it has been always my notion that a young gentleman in such a case should the moment he offers himself if his own proposals are acceptable be spared the indelicacy of asking questions as to fortune We know Sir yours is great But as your spirit is princely you ought to have something worthy of your own fortune with a wife But here alas we must fail I doubt at least in hand
Mr Byron was one of the best of men his Lady a most excellent woman There never was a happier pair Both had reason to boast of their ancestry His estate was upwards of Four thousand pounds a year but it was entailed and in failure of male heirs was to descend to a second branch of the family which had made itself the more unworthy of it by settling in a foreign country renouncing as I may say its own Mr Byron died a young man and left his Lady ensient but grief for losing him occasioned first her miscarriage and then her death and the estate followed the name Hence be pleased to know that Miss Byrons fortune in her own right is no more than between Thirteen and Fourteen thousand pounds It is chiefly in the funds It has been called 15000l but it is not much more than thirteen Her grandmothers jointure is between 4 and 500l a year We none of us wish to see my goddaughter in possession of it She herself least of all Mrs Shirley is called by every one that knows her or speaks of her The ornament of old age Her husband an
excellent man desired her to live always in the mansionhouse and in the hospitable way he had ever kept up if what he left her would support her in it She has been longer spared to the prayers of her friends and to those of the poor than was apprehended for she is but infirm in health She therefore can do but little towards the increase of her childs fortune But Shirleymanor is a fine old seat Sir—And there is timber upon the estate which wants but ten years growth and will be felled to good account Mr Selby is well in the world He proposes as a token of his love to add 3000l in hand to his nieces fortune and by his will something very considerable farther expectant on his Ladys death who being Miss Byrons aunt by the fathers side intends by her will to do very handsomely for her—By the way my dear Sir be assured that what I write is absolutely unknown to Miss Byron
There is a man who loves her as he loves himself This man has laid by a sum of money every year for the advancing her in marriage beginning with the fifth year of her life when it was seen what a hopeful child she was This has been putout at accumulated interest and it amounts in sixteen years or thereabouts to very near 8000l This man Sir will make up the eight thousand ten to be paid on the day of marriage And I hope without promising for what this man will do further at his death that you will accept of this Five or Sixandtwenty thousand Pounds as the chearfullest given and bestbestowed money that ever was laid out
Let not these particulars pain you Sir They should not The subject is a necessary one You who ought to give way to the increase of that power which you so nobly use must not be pained at this mention once for all Princes Sir are not above asking money of their people as freegifts on the marriage of their children He that would be greater than a prince
may before he is aware be less than a gentleman Of this ten thousand pounds Eight is Miss Byrons due as she is likely to be so happy with all our consents else it would not For that was the mans reserved condition and the sum or the designation of it was till this day only known to himself
As to settlements in return I would have acted the lawyer but the honest lawyer with you Sir and made demands of you but Mr and Mrs Selby and Mrs Shirley unanimously declare that you shall not be prescribed to in this case Were you not Sir Charles Grandison was the question I was against leaving it to you for that very reason It will be said I to provoke such a man as Sir Charles to do too much Most other men ought to be spurred but this must be held in But however I acquiesced and the more easily because I expect that the deeds shall pass through my hands and I will take care that you shall not in order to give a proof of Love where it is not wanted exert an inadequate generosity
These matters I thought it was absolutely necessary to apprize you of You will have the goodness to excuse any imperfections in my manner of writing There are none in my heart when I assure you that no man breathing can more respect you than Sir
Your most faithful and obedient Servant THOMAS DEANE
Thursday Oct 5
YOU know not my dear Mr Deane upon what an unthankful man you would bestow your favours I pretend not to be above complying with the
laudable customs of the world Princes are examples to themselves I have always in things indifferent been willing to take the world as I find it and conform to it
To say Miss Byron is a treasure in herself is what every man would say who has the honour to know her Yet I would not in a vain ostentation as the interest of a man and his wife is one make a compliment to my affection by resigning or giving from her her natural right especially as there is no one of her family that wants to be benefited by such gifts or resignations But then I will not allow that any of her friends shall part with what is theirs to supply—What A supposed deficiency in her fortune And by whom as implied by you supposed a deficiency—By me and it is left to me to confirm the imputation by my acceptance of the addition so generously as to the intention offered Had I incumbrances on my estate which undischarged would involve in difficulties the woman I love I know not what for her sake I might be tempted to do But avarice only can induce a man who wants it not to accept of the bounty of a Ladys friends in their lifetime especially—When those friends are not either father or mother one of them not a relation by blood tho he is by a nearer tye that of Love And it is not the fortune which the Lady possesses in her own right an ample one
I am as rich as I wish to be my dear Mr Deane Were my income less I would live within it were it more it would increase my duties Permit me my good Sir to ask Has the MAN as you call him and a MAN indeed he appears to me to be who intends to make so noble a present to a stranger no relations no friends who would have reason to think themselves unkindly treated if he gave from them such a large portion of his fortune
I would not be thought romantic neither aim I at
ostentation I would be as glad to follow as to set a good example Can I have a nobler if Miss Byron honours me with her hand than she in that case will give in preferring me to the Earl of D a worthy man with a much more splendid fortune than mine Believe me my dear Mr Deane it would on an event so happy be a restraint to my own joy before friends so kindly contributing to the increase of her fortune lest they should imagine that their generosity on the occasion was one of the motives of my gratitude to her for her goodness to me
You tell me that Miss Byron knows nothing of your proposals I beseech you let her not know anything of them Abase not so much in her eye the man who presumes on her favour for the happiness of the rest of his life by supposing Your supposition Sir may have weight with her he could value her the more for such an addition to her fortune No Sir Let Miss Byron satisfied with the consciousness of a worth which all the world acknowleges in one of the most solemn events of her life look round among her congratulating friends with that modest confidence which the sense of laying a high obligation on a favoured object gives to diffident merit and which the receiving of favours from all her friends as if to supply a supposed defective worth must either abate or if it do not make her think less of the interested man who could submit to owe such obligations
If these friendly expostulations conclude against the offer of your generous friend they equally do so against that of Mr Selby Were that Gentleman and his Lady the parents of Miss Byron the case would be different But Miss Byrons fortune is an ascertained one and Mr Selby has relations who stand in an equal degree of consanguinity to him and who are all intitled by their worthiness to his favour My best respects and thanks are however due and I beg you
will make my acknowledgments accordingly as well to your worthy friend as to Mr Selby
I take the liberty to send you down the rentroll of my English estate Determine for me as you please my dearest Mr Deane Only take this caution—Affront me not a second time but let the settlements be such as may be fully answerable to my fortune altho in the common methods of calculation it may exceed that of the dear Lady That you may be the better judge of this you will find a brief particular of my Irish Estate subjoined to the other
I was intending when I received yours to do myself the honour of a visit to Selbyhouse I am impatient to throw myself at the feet of my dear Miss Byron and to commend myself to the favour of Mr and Mrs Selby and every one of a family I am prepared by their characters as well as by their relation to Miss Byron to revere and love But as you seem to choose that the requisite preliminaries should be first adjusted by pen and ink I submit tho with reluctance to that course but with the less as I may in the interim receive Letters from abroad which tho they can now make no alteration with regard to the treaty so happily begun may give me an opportunity of laying the whole state of my affairs before Miss Byron by which means she will be enabled to form a judgment of them and of the heart of dear Sir
Her and your most affectionate obliged and faithful humble Servant CH GRANDISON
With the two preceding Letters
Selbyhouse Sat Oct 7
WELL did you observe my dear that we may be very differently affected by the same event when judged of at a distance and near May I in the present situation presume to say near Mr Deane has entered into the particulars of my fortune with Sir Charles The Letter was not shewn me before it went and I was not permitted to see the copy of it till your brothers answer came and then they shewed me both
O my dear Mr Deane my everkind uncle and aunt Selby Was not your Harriet Byron too much obliged to you before—As to your brother What my love shall I do with my pride I did not know I had so much of that bad quality My poverty my dear has added to my pride Were my fortune superior to that of your brother I am sure I should not be so proud as I now on this occasion find I am How generously does he decline accepting the goodness that was offered to give me more consideration with him as kindly intended by them What can I say to him but that his heart still prouder than my own and more generous than that of any other person breathing will not permit me to owe uncommon obligations to any but himself
He desires that I may not know any-thing of this transaction But they thought the communication would give me pleasure However they wish me not to take notice to him when he visits Selbyhouse that they have communicated it to me If I did I should think myself obliged to manifest a gratitude that would embarrass me in my present situation and
seem to fetter the freedom of my will Millions of obligations should not bribe me to give up even a corner of my heart to a man to whom I could not give the whole Your brother my dear is in possession of the whole
You know that I hate affectation But must I not have great abatements in my prospects of happiness because of Lady Clementina And must they not be still greater should she be unhappy should she repent of the resolution she so nobly took for his saying that whatever be the contents of his next Letters from Italy they can make no alteration with regard to the treaty begun with us—Dear dear Clementina most excellent of women Can I bear to stand in the way of your happiness—I cannot—My life any more than yours may not be a long one and I will not fully the whiteness of it Pardon my vanity I presume to call it so on retrospecting it regarding my intentions only by giving way to an act of injustice tho it were to obtain for me the whole heart of the man I love
Yet think you my dear that I am not mortified
How can I look round upon my congratulating friends in one of the most solemn events of my life with that modest confidence which the sense of laying an obligation on a favoured object
You know in whose generous words I express myself
gives to diffident merit
O my Charlotte I am afraid of your brother How shall I look up to him when I next see him—But I will give way to this new guest my pride What other way have I—Will you forgive me if I try to look upon your brothers generosity to me and my friends in declining so greatly their offers as a bribe to make me sit down satisfied with half nay not half a heart—And now will you not say that I am proud indeed But his is the most delicate of human minds And shall not the woman pretend to some delicacy who has looked up to him
I thought of writing but a few lines in the cover of the two Letters I hope I should not incur displeasure from anybody here were they to know I send them to you for your perusal But let only Lord G your other Self and Lord and Lady L read them and return them by the next post I know you four will pity the poor and proud girl who is so inexpressibly obliged almost to every one she knows but who believe her proud as she is never will be ashamed to own her obligations to you and to Lady L
Witness
HARRIET BYRON
GrosvenorSquare Tuesday Oct 10
I Return your two Letters Very good ones both I like them Lord L and Lord G thank you for allowing them to peruse them We will know nothing of the matter My brother will soon be with you I believe I wish Dr Bartlet were in town One should then know something of the motions of my brother—Not that he is reserved neither But he is so much engaged that I go four times to St JamessSquare and perhaps do not see him once My Lord had the assurance to say but yesterday that I was there more than at home He is very impertinent I believe he has taken up my sauciness I laid it down and thought to resume it occasionally but when I came to look for it behold it was gone—But I hope if he has it not it is only mislaid I intend if it come not soon to hand to set the parishcrier to proclaim the loss with a reward for the finder It might be the ruin of some indiscreet woman should such a one meet with it and try to use it Aunt Eleanor There I remember myself No more aunt
Nell is as joyful to think her nephew will soon be married and to an English woman as if she were going to be married herself Were there to be a wedding in the family or among her acquaintance once a year what with preparation what with solemnization good old soul she would live for ever Chide again Harriet I value it not Yet in your last chiding you were excessively grave But I forgive you Be good and write me everything how and about it and write to the moment You cannot be too minute
I want you to see Lady Olivias presents They are princely I want to see a Letter she wrote to my brother He mentioned it as something extraordinary When you are his you must shew me all he writes that you are permitted to have in your power long enough to transcribe He and she correspond Do you like that Harriet—Lady L writes Emily writes So I have only to say I am
Your humble Servant and soforth CH G
Selbyhouse Thursday Oct 12
My dear Lady G
I Expect your brother every hour I hope he comes in pursuance of Letters from Italy—May it be so and such as will not abate his welcome
We heard by accident of his approach by a farmer tenant to my uncle who saw a fine gentleman very handsomely attended alight as he left Statford at the very inn where we baited on our return from London As a dinner was preparing for him perhaps my dear he will dine in the very room he dined in at that time The farmer had the curiosity to ask
who he was and was answered by the most courteous gentlemans servants he ever spoke to that they had the honour to serve Sir Charles Grandison And the farmer having said he was of Northampton one of them asked him How far Selbyhouse was from that town The farmer was obliged to hurry home on his own affairs and meeting my uncle with Mr Deane and my cousin James Selby taking an airing on horseback told him the visiter he was likely to have My uncle instantly dispatched his servant to us with the tidings and that he was gone to meet him in hopes of conducting him hither
This news gave me so much emotion being not well before that my aunt advised me to retire to my closet and endeavour to quiet my Spirits
Here then I am my dear Lady G and the writingimplements being alway• at hand in this place I took up my pen It is not possible for me to write at this time but to you and on this subject It is good for a busy mind to have something to be employed in and I think now I am amusing myself on paper my heart is a little more governable than it was
I am glad we heard of his coming before we saw him But surely Sir Charles Grandison should not have attempted to surprise us Should he my dear Does it not look like the pride of a man assured of a joyful welcome I have read of princes who acquianted with their Ladies by picture only and having been married by proxy have set out to their frontiers in•ognito and in disguise have affected to surprise the poor apprehensive bride—But here not only circumstances differ since there has been no betrothment but were he of princely rank I should have expected a more delicate treatment from him—
How will the consciousness of inferiority and obligation set a proud and punctilious mind upon hunting for occasions to justify its caprices—A servant of
Sir Charles is just arrived with a billet directed for my uncle Selby My aunt opened it It is dated from Stratford The contents are after compliments of enquiry of our healths to acquaint my uncle that he shall put up at the George at Northampton this night and hopes to be allowed to pay his compliments to us tomorrow morning at breakfast So he did not intend to give himself the consequence of which my capricious heart was so apprehensive Yet then as if resolved to find fault Is not this a little too parading for his natural freedom thought I Or does he think we should not be able to outlive our joyful surprize if he gave us not notice of his arrival in these parts before he saw us—O Clementina—Goodness Angel What a meremortal what a woman dost thou make the poor Harriet Byron appear in her own eyes How apprehensive of coming after thee The sense I have of my own littleness will make me little indeed
Well but I presume that if my uncle and Mr Deane meet him they will prevail on him to come hither this night Yet I suppose he must be allowed to go to the proposed inn afterwards—But here he is come—Come indeed—My uncle in the chariot with him My cousin and Mr Deane Sally tells me just alighted Sally adores Sir Charles Grandison—Begone Sally Thy emotions foolish wench add to those of thy mistress—
THAT I might avoid the appearance of affectation I was going down to welcome him when I met my uncle on the stairs Niece Byron said he you have not done justice to Sir Charles Grandison I thought your Lovesick heart What words were these my dear and at that moment too must have been partial to him He prevailed on me to go into his chariot You may think yourself very happy For fifteen miles together did he talk of nobody but you Let me go down with you Let me present you to him
I had before besought my spirits to befriend me but for one halfhour Surely there is nothing so unwelcome as an unseasonable jest Present me to him Lovesick heart O my uncle thought I I was unable to proceed I hastened back to my closet as much disconcerted as a child could be who having taken pains to get its lesson by heart dashed by a chiding countenance forgot every syllable of it when it came to say it You know my dear that I had not of some time been well My spirits were weak and joy was almost as painful to me as grief could have been
My aunt came up—My love why dont you come down—What now Why in tears—You will appear to the finest man I ever saw in my life very particular—Mr Deane is in love with him Your cousin James—
Dear madam I am already when I make comparisons between him and myself humbled enough with his excellencies I did intend to avoid particularity but my uncle has quite disconcerted me—Yet he always means well I ought not to complain I attend you madam
Can you Lady G forgive my pride my petulance
My aunt went down before me Sir Charles hastened to me the moment I appeared with an air of respectful love
He took my hand and bowing upon it I rejoice to see my dear Miss Byron and to see her so well How many sufferers must there be when you suffer
I bid him welcome to England I hope he heard me I could not help speaking low He must observe my discomposure He led me to a seat and sat down by me still holding my hand I withdrew it not presently left he should think me precise But as there were so many persons present I thought it was free in Sir Grandison Yet perhaps he could
not well quit it as I did not withdraw it so that the fault might be rather in my passiveness than in his forwardness
However I asked my aunt afterwards If his looks were not those of a man assured of success as indeed he might be from my grandmothers Letter and my silence to his She said there was a manly freedom in his address to me but that it had such a mixture of tenderness in it that never in her eyes was freedom so becoming While he was restrained by his situation added she no wonder that he treated you with respect only as a Friend but now he finds himself at liberty to address you his behaviour ought as a Lover to have just been what it was
Sir Charles led me into talk by mentioning you and Lady L your two Lords and my Emily
My uncle and aunt withdrew and had some little canvassings it seems All their canvassings are those of assured Lovers about the propriety of my uncles invitation to Sir Charles to take up his residence while he was in these parts at Selbyhouse My uncle at coming in had directed Sir Charless servants to put up their horses But they not having their masters orders to do so held themselves in readiness to attend him as they knew that Sir Charles had given directions to his gentleman Richard Saunders who brought the billet to my uncle to go back to Northhampton and provide apartments for him at the George inn there
My aunt who you know is a perfect judge of points of decorum pleaded to my uncle that it was too well known among our select friends by Mr Grevilles means that Sir Charles had never before made his addresses to me and that therefore tho he was to be treated as a man whose alliance is considered as an honour to us yet that some measures were to be kept as to the look of the thing and that the world might not conclude that I was to be won at his very
first appearance and the rather as Mr Grevilles violence as well as virulence was so well known
My uncle was petulant I said he am always in the wrong You women never He ran into all those peculiarities of words for which you have so often raillied him—His adsheart his female scrupulosities his What a pize his hatred of shillyshallys and fiddlefaddles and the rest of our female nonsenses as he calls them He hoped to salute his niece as Lady Grandison in a fortnight What a duce was the matter it could not be so both sides now of a mind—He warned my aunt and bid her warn me against affectation now the crisis was at hand Sir Charles he said would think meanly of us if we were silly And then came in another of his odd words Sir Charles he said had been so much already bamboozled that he would not have patience with us and therefore and for all these reasons as he called them he desired that Sir Charles might not be suffered to go out of the house and to an inn and this as well for the propriety of the thing as for the credit of his own invitation to him
My aunt replied that Sir Charles himself would expect delicacy from us It was evident that he expected not no doubt for the sake of the worlds eye to reside in the house with me on his first visit by his having ordered his servant who brought the billet to take apartments for him at Northampton even not designing to visit us overnight had he not been met by Mr Deane and himself and persuaded to come In short my dear said my aunt I am as much concerned about Sir Charless own opinion of our conduct as for that of the world Yet you know that every genteel family around us expected examples from us and Harriet If Sir Charles is not with us the oftener he visits us the more respectful it will be construed I hope he will live with us all day and every day But indeed it must be as a visiter not as an inmate
Why then bring me off somehow that I may not seem the blunderer you are always making me by your documents—Will you do that
When my uncle and aunt came in they found Sir Charles and Dr Deane and me talking Our subject was the happiness of Lord and Lady W and the whole Mansfield family with whom Mr Deane who began the discourse is well acquainted Sir Charles arose at their entrance The night draws on said he—I will do myself the honour of attending you madam and this happy family at tea in the morning—My good Mr Selby I had a design upon you and Mr Deane and upon you young gentleman to my cousin James as I told you on the road but it is now too late Adieu till tomorrow—He bowed to each to me profoundly kissing my hand and went to his chariot
My uncle whispered my aunt as we all attended him to that door of the hall which leads into the courtyard to invite him to stay Hang punctilio he said
My aunt wanted to speak to Sir Charles yet she owned she knew not what to say Such a conscious aukwardness had indeed possession of us both as made us uneasy We thought all was not right yet knew not that we were wrong But when Sir Charless chariot drove away with him and we took our seats and supper was talked of we all of us shewed dissatisfaction and my uncle was quite out of humour He would give a thousand pounds he said with all his heart and soul to find in the morning Sir Charles instead of coming hither to breakfast had set out on his return to London
For my part Lady G I could not bear these recriminations I begged to be excused sitting down to supper I was not well and this odd situation added uneasiness to my indisposition A dissatisfaction that I find will mingle with our highest enjoyments Nor
were the beloved company I left happier They canvassed the matter with so much goodnatured earnestness that the supper was taken away as it was brought at a late hour
What my dear Lady G in your opinion should we have done Were we right or were we wrong Overdelicacy as I have heard observed is underdelicacy You my dear your Lord our Emily and Dr Bartlett all standing in so wellknown a degree of relation to Sir Charles Grandison were our most welcome guests And was not the brother to be received with equal warmth of respect—O no Custom it seems tyrant custom and the apprehended opinion of the world obliged us especially as so much bustle had been made about me by men so bold so impetuous to shew him—Shew him what—In effect that we had expectations upon him which we could not have upon the brother and sister and therefore because we hoped he would be more near we were to keep him at the greater distance—What an indirect acknowledgment was this in his favour were there room for him to doubt Which however there could not be What would I give said my aunt to me this moment to know his thoughts of the matter
Lucy and Nancy will be here at dinner so will my grandmamma She has with her usual enquiries after my health congratulated me by this line sealed up
I long my best love to embrace you on the joyful occasion I need say no more than that I think myself at this instant one of the happiest of women I shall dine with you today Adieu till then joy of my heart my own Harriet
Lucy in a Billet just now brought written for herself and Nancy on the intelligence sent her of Sir Charless arrival expresses herself thus
Our joy is extreme Blessings on the man Blessings attend our Harriet They must Sir Charles Grandison brings them with himself Health now will return to our lovely cousin We long to see the man of whom we have heard so much We will dine with you Tell Sir Charles before we come that you love us dearly It shall make us redouble our endeavours to deserve your love Your declared friendship and love of us will give consequence to
LUCY SELBY
NANCY SELBY
We are now in expectation—My aunt and I tho early risers hurried ourselves to get everything that however is never out of order in higher order Both of us have a kind of consciousness of defect where yet we cannot find reason for it If we did we should supply it Yet we are careful that everything has a natural not an extraordinary appearance—Ease with propriety shall be our aim My aunt says that were the King to make us a visit she is sure she could not have a greater desire to please—I will go down that I may avoid the appearance of parade and reserve when he comes
Here in her closet again is your poor Harriet Surely the determined single state is the happiest of lives to young women who have the greatness of mind to be above valuing the admiration and flatteries of the other Sex What tumults what a contrariety of passions break the tranquility of the woman who yields up her heart to Love—No Sir Charles Grandison my dear—Yet ten oclock—He is a very prudent man—No expectations hurry or discompose him Charming steadiness of Soul A fine thing for himself but far otherwise for the woman when a man is secure He will possibly ask me and hold
again my passive hand in presence of half a score of my friends Whether I was greatly uneasy because of his absence
But let me try to excuse him May he not have forfot his engagement May he not have over slept himself—Some agreeable dream of the Bologna family—I am offended at him—Did he learn this tranquility in Italy—O no no Lady G
I now cannot help looking back for other faults in him with regard to me My memory is not however so malicious as I would have it But do you think every man in the like situation would have stopt at Stratford to dine by himself—Not but your brother can be very happy in his own company If he cannot who can But as to that his horses might require rest as well as baiting One knows not in how short a time he might have prosecuted his journey so far He who will not suffer the noblest of all animals to be deprived of an ornament would be merciful to them in greater instances He says that he cannot bear indignity from superiors Neither can we In that light he appears to us But why so—My heart Lady G begins to swell I assure you and it it twice as big as it was last night
My uncle before I came up sat with his watch in his hand from half an hour after nine till near ten telling the minutes as they crept Mr Deane often looked at me and at my aunt as if to see how we bore it I blushed looked silly as if your brothers faults were mine—Over in a fortnight cried my uncle adsheart I believe it will be half a year before we shall come to the question But Sir Charles to be sure is offended Your confounded female niceties
My heart rose—Let him if he dare thought the proud Harriet
God grant added my uncle that he may be gone up to town again▪
Perhaps said Mr Deane he is gone by mistake to Mrs Shirleys
We then endeavoured to recollect the words of his selfinvitation hither My cousin James proposed to take horse and go to Northampton to inform himself of the occasion of his not coming Some misfortune perhaps
Had he not servants my aunt asked one of whom he might have sent—Shall my cousin Jemmy go however Harriet said she
No indeed answered I with an air of anger—My teazing uncle broke out into a loud laugh which however had more of a vexedness than mirth in it—He is certainly gone to London Harriet Just as I said dame Selby—Certainly tearing up the road his very horses resenting for their master your scrupulosities Youll hear from him next at London my life for yours niece—Hah hah hah What will your grandmamma say byandby Lucy Nancy how will they stare Last nights supper and this days dinner will be alike served in and taken away
I could not stand all this I arose from my seat Are you not unkind Sir said I to my uncle courtesying to him however and desiring his and Mr Deanes excuse quitted the breakfasting parlour Teazing man said my aunt Mr Deane also blamed him gently however for everybody acknowledges his good heart and natural good temper
My aunt followed me to the door and taking my hand Harriet said she speaking low Not Sir Charles Grandison himself shall call you his if he is capable of treating you with the least indifference I understand not this added she He cannot surely be offended—I hope all will be cleared up before your grandmamma comes She will be very jealous of the honour of her girl
I answered not I could not answer But hastened up to my place of refuge and after wiping from my
cheeks a few tears of real vexation took up my pen You love to know my thoughts as occasions arise You bid me continue to write to the moment—Here comes my aunt
My aunt came in with a Billet in her hand—Come down to breakfast my dear Sir Charles comes not till dinnertime Read this It was brought by one of his servants He left it with Andrew The dunce let him go I wanted to have asked him a hundred questions
To Mrs SELBY
Dear Madam
I Am broke in upon by a most impertinent visiter Such at this time must have been the dearest friend I have in the world You will be so good as to excuse my attendance till dinnertime For the past two hours I thought every moment of disengaging myself or I should have sent sooner
Ever Yours c
What visiter said I can make a man stay against his mind—Who can get rid politely of an impertinent visiter if Sir Charles Grandison cannot on a previous engagement—But come madam I attend you—Down we went
My uncle was out of patience I was sorry for it I tried to make the best of it yet but to pacify him should perhaps have had petulance enough myself to make the worst of it—Oy oy with all my heart said he in answer to my excuses let us hear what Sir Charles has to say for himself But old as I am were my dame Selby to give me another chance no man on earth I can tell you should keep me from a previous engagement with my mistress It is kind of you Harriet to excuse him however Love hides a multitude of saults
My aunt said not one syllable in behalf of Sir Charles She is vexed and disappointed
We made a very short breakfasting and looked upon one another as people who would have helped themselves if they could Mr Deane however would engage he said that we should be fatisfied with Sir Charless excuses when we came to hear them
But my dear this man this visiter whoever he is must be of prodigious importance to detain him from an engagement that I had hoped might have been thought a first engagement—yet owned to be impertinent And must not the accident be very uncommon that should bring such a one a stranger as Sir Charles is in his way Yet this might very well happen my uncle observes at an inn whither we thought fit to send him
Now I think of it I was strangely disturbed last night in my imperfect slumbers Something I thought was to happen to prevent me ever being his But hence Recollection I chase thee from me Yet when realities disturb shadows will officiously obtrude on the busy imagination as realities
Friday 12 oClock
My grandmamma is come—Lucy Nancy are come—O how vexed at our disappointment and chagrin are my two cousins But my grandmamma joins with Mr Deane to think the best I have stolen up But here he is come How shall I do to keep my anger He shall find me below I will see how he looks at entrance among us—If he is careless—If he makes slight excuses—
Friday Two oClock
I Am stolen up again to tell you how it is I never will be petulant again—Dear Sir forgive me How wicked in us all but my grandmamma and Mr Deane to blame a man who cannot be guilty of a wilful fault The fault is all my aunts and mine—Was my aunt ever in fault before
We were all together when he entered He addressed himself to us in that noble manner which engages everybody in his favour at first sight How said he bowing to every one have I suffered in being hindered by an unhappy man from doing myself the honour of attending you sooner
You see my dear he made not apologies to me as if he supposed me disappointed by his absence I was afraid he would I know I looked very grave
He then particularly addressed himself to each to me first next to my grandmamma and taking one of her hands between both his and bowing upon it I rejoice to see you madam said he—Your last favours will ever be remembered by me with gratitude I see you well I hope Your Miss Byron will be well if you are and our joy looking round him will then be complete
She bowed her head pleased with his compliment so were my aunt and Lucy and Nancy I was still a little sullen otherwise I should have been pleased too that he made my health depend on that of my grandmamma
Madam said he turning to my aunt I am afraid I made you wait for me at breakfast A most impertinent visiter He put me out of humour I dared not to let you and yours looking at me see how
much I could be out of humour I am naturally passionate But passion is so ugly so deforming a thing that if I can help it I will never by those I love be seen in it
I am sorry Sir said my aunt you meet with anything to disturb you
My uncles spirit had not come down He too was sullen in behalf of the punctilio of the girl whom he honours with his jealous Love How how is that Sir Charles said he
My aunt presented Lucy and Nancy to him But before she could name either—Miss Selby said he Miss Byrons own Lucy I am sure Miss Nancy Selby—I know your characters Ladies saluting each and I know the interest you have in Miss Byron—Honour me with your approbation and that will be to give me hope of hers
He then turning to my uncle and Mr Deane and taking a hand of each—My dear Mr Deane smiles upon me said he—But Mr Selby looks grave—
Atten tive only Sir Charles to the cause of your being put out of humour thats all—
The cause Mr Selby—Know then I met with a man at my inn who would force himself upon me Do you know I am a qurrelsome man He was so hardy as to declare that he had pretensions to a Lady in this company which he was determined to assert
O that Greville said my aunt—
I was ready to sink Wretched Harriet thought I at the instant Am I to be for ever the occasion of embroiling this excellent man
My grandmamma Mr Deane my uncle my cousin James all spoke at once—Dear dear Sir Charles said one said another—How how was it
Both safe Both unhurt No more of the rash man at this time He is to be pitied He loves Miss Byron to distraction
This comes of nicety whispered my uncle to my aunt foolish nicety—To let such a man as this go to an inn—Inhospitable vile punctilio Then turning to Sir Charles—Dear Sir forgive me I was a little serious that I must own I pulled my uncle by the sleeve fearing he would say too much by way of atonement for his seriousness—I I I was a little serious I must own I I I was afraid something was the matter—turned he off what he was going to say—too freely shall I say—Hardly so had he said what he would tho habitual punctilio made me almost involuntarily twitch my uncle by the sleeve for my heart would have directed my lips to utter the kindest things but my concern was too great to allow them to obey it
I must go down Lady G—I am enquired after tis just dinnertime—Let me only add that Sir Charles waved further talk of the affair between him and that wretch while I staid—perhaps they have got it out of him since I came up
I SHALL be so proud my dear—a thousand fine things he has said of your Harriet in her little absence—Lucy Nancy call him THE man And every one looks upon him as if there were not one soul in company but he and themselves My grandmammas eyes are complained of as weak to colour her joyful emotion But thank God her eyes are not weak And he is so respectfully tender to her that had he not my heart before he would have won it now
He had again waved the relation of the insult he met with Mr Greville himself he supposed would give it He had a mind to see if the gentleman by his report of it was a gentleman Thank God said he I have not hurt a man who boasts of his passion for Miss Byron and of his neighbourhood to this family
OUR places were chosen for us at table Sir Charless next me Cannot I be too minute do you say—So easy so free so polite something so happily addressed occasionally to each person at table—O my dear I am abundantly kept in countenance for every one loves him as well as I You have been pleased to take very favourable notice of our servants—They are good and sensible What reverence for him and joy for their young mistresss sake shone in their countenances as they attended
My cousin James who has never been out of England was very curious to be informed of the manners customs diversions of the people in different countries—Italy in particular—Ah the dear Clementina What abatement from recollection
The sighing heart
I remember he says in one of his Letters to Dr Bartlett
will remind us of imperfection in the highest of our enjoyments
And he adds
It is fit it should be so
And on what occasion did he write this—O my Charlotte I was the occasion It was in kind remembrance of me He could not at that time have so written had he been indifferent even then to your Harriet
I am so apprehensive of my uncles after remarks that I am halfafraid to look at Sir Charles And he must byandby return to this wicked inn—They wonder at my frequent absences It is to oblige you Lady G and indeed myself There is vast pleasure in communicating ones pleasures to a friend who interests herself as you do in ones dearest concerns
YOU know and admire my grandmammas chearful compliances with the innocent diversions of youth She made Lucy give us a lesson on the harpsichord on purpose I saw to draw me in We both obeyed
I was once a little out in an Italian song In what a sweet manner did he put me in▪ touching the keys
himself for a minute or two Every one wished him to proceed but he gave up to me in so polite a manner that we all were satisfied with his excuses
My poor cousin Jemmy is on a sudden very earnest to go abroad as if silly youth travelling would make him a Sir Charles Grandison
I have just asked your brother If all is over between Mr Greville and him He says He hopes and believes so God send it may or I shall hate that Greville
MY uncle Mr Deane and my cousin James were too much taken with Sir Charles to think of withdrawing as it might have been expected they would and after some general conversation that succeeded our playing Sir Charles drew his chair between my grandmamma and aunt and taking my grandmammas hand May I not be allowed a quarter of an hours conversation with Miss Byron in your presence Ladies said he speaking low We have indeed only friends and relations present But it will be most agreeable I believe to the dear Lady that what I have to say to her and to you may be rather reported to the gentlemen than heard by them
By all means Sir Charles said my grandmamma Then whispering to my aunt No man in this company thinks but Sir Charles Excuse me my dear
The moment Sir Charles applied himself in this particular manner to them my heart without hearing what he said was at my mouth I arose and withdrew to the cedarparlour followed by Lucy and Nancy The gentlemen seeming to recollect themselves withdrew likewise to another apartment My aunt came to me—Love—But ah my dear how you tremble—You must come with me And then she told me what he had said to my grandmamma and her
I have no courage—None at all said I If apprehension
if timidy be signs of Love I have them all Sir Charles Grandison has not one
Nay my dear said Lucy impute not to him want of respect I beseech you—Respect my Lucy What a poor word—Had I only respect for him we should be nearer an equality—Has he said any-thing of Lady Clementina
Dont be silly Harriet said my aunt You used to be—
Used to be—Ah madam I Sir Charless heart at best a divided heart I never had a trial till now
I tell you all my foibles Lady G
My aunt led me in to Sir Charles and my grandmamma He met me at my entrance into the room and in the most engaging manner my aunt having taken her seat conducted me to a chair which happened to be vacant between her and my grandmother He took no notice of my emotion and I the sooner recovered myself and still the sooner as he himself seemed to be in some little confusion However he sat down and with a manly yet respectful air his voice gaining strength as he proceeded thus delivered himself
Never Ladies was man more particularly circumstanced than he before you You know my story You know what once were the difficulties of my situation with a family that I must ever respect with a Lady of it whom I must ever revere And you madam to my grandmamma have had the goodness to signify to me in a most engaging manner that Miss Byron has added to the innumerable instances which she has given me of her true greatness of mind a kind and even a friendly concern for a Lady who is the Miss Byron of Italy I ask not excuse for the comparison The heart of the man before you madam to me in sincerity and frankness emulates your own—
You want not excuse Sir said my grandmamma—
We all reverence Lady Clementina We admire her
He bowed to each of us as my aunt and I looked I believe assentingly to what my grandmamma said He proceeded
Yet in so particular a situation altho what I have to say may I presume be collected from what you know of my story and tho my humble application to Miss Byron for her favour and to you Ladies for your interest with her have not been discouraged something however may be necessary to be said in this audience of the state of my own heart for the sake of this dear Ladys delicacy and yours And I will deliver myself with all the truth and plainness which I think are required in treaties of this nature equally with those set on foot between nation and nation
I am not insensible to Beauty But the beauty of person only never yet had power over more than my eye to which it gave a pleasure like that which it receives from the flowers of a gay parterre Had not my heart been out of the reach of personal attractions if I may so express myself and had I been my own master Miss Byron in the first hour that I saw her for her beauty suffered not by her distress would have left me no other choice But when I had the honour of conversing with her I observed in her mind and behaviour that true dignity delicacy and noble frankness which I ever thought characteristic in the Sex but never met with in equal degree but in one Lady I soon found that my admiration of her fine qualities was likely to lead me into a gentler yet a more irresistable passion For of the Lady abroad I then could have no reasonable at least no probable hope Yet were there circumstances between her and me which I thought in strict justice obliged me to attend the issue of certain events
I called myself therefore to account and was
alarmed when I found that Miss Byrons graces had stolen so imperceptibly on my heart as already to have made an impression on it too deep for my tranquillity I determined therefore in honour in justice to both Ladies to endeavour to restrain a passion so new yet likely to be so servent
I had avocations in town while Miss Byron was with my sisters in the country Almost afraid of trusting myself in her presence I pursued the more willingly those avocations in person when I could have managed some of them perhaps near as well by other hands Compassion for the one Lady because of her calamity might at that time I found have been made to give way could those calamities have been overcome to Love for the other Nor was it difficult for me to observe that my sisters and Lord L who knew nothing of my situation would have chosen for a sister the young Lady present before every other woman
Sometimes I will own to you I was ready from that selfpartiality and vanity which is too natural to men of vivacity and strong hopes to flatter myself that I might by my sisters interest have made myself not unacceptable to a Lady who seemed to be wholly disengaged in her affections But I would not permit myself to dwell on such hopes Every look of complaisance every smile which used to beam over that lovely countenance I attributed to her natural goodness and frankness of heart and to that grateful spirit which made her overrate a common service that I had been so happy as to render her Had I even been free I should have been careful not to deprive myself of that animating sunshine by a too early declaration For well did I know by other mens experience that Miss Byron at the same time that her natural politeness and sweetness of manners engaged every heart was not however easily to be won
But notwithstanding all my efforts to prevent a
competition which had grown so fast upon me I still found my uneasiness increase with my affection for Miss Byron I had then but one way left—It was to strengthen my heart in Clementinas cause by Miss Byrons assistance In short to acquaint Miss Byron with my situation to engage her generosity for Clementina and thereby deprive myself of the encouragement my fond heart might have hoped for had I indulged my wishes of obtaining her favour My end was answered as to the latter Miss Byrons generosity was engaged for the Lady but was it possible that my obligations to her for that generosity should not add to my admiration of her
At the time I laid before her my situation it was in Lord Ls Study at Colnebrooke she saw my emotion I could not conceal it My abrupt departure from her must convince her that my heart was too much engaged for that situation a I desired Dr Bartlett to take an airing with me in hopes by his counsels to compose my disordered spirits b He knew the state of my heart He knew with regard to the proposals I had formerly made to the family at Bologna relating to Religion and Residence as I had also declared to the brothers of the Lady that no worldly grandeur should ever have induced me to allow in a beginning address the terms I was willing as a compromise to allow to that Lady for thoroughly had I weighed the inconveniencies which must attend such an alliance The Lady zealous in her Religion the Confelsor who was to be allowed her equally zealous the spirit of making proselytes so strong and held by Roman Catholics to be so meritorious and myself no less in earnest in my Religion I had no doubt to pronounce I told the good Doctor in confidence
that I should be much more happy in marriage with the Lady of Selbyhouse were she to be induced to
honour me with her hand than it was possible I could be with Lady Clementina even were they to comply with the conditions I had proposed as I doubted not but that Lady would also be were her health restored with a man of her own nation and Religion
And I owned to him besides
that I could have no hope of conquering the opposition given me by the friends of Clementina and that I could not at times but think hardly of the indignities cast upon me by some of them
The doctor I knew at the same time that he lamented the evil treatment Clementina met with from her mistaken friends and her unhappy malady and admired her for her manifold excellencies next to adored Miss Byron And he gave his voice accordingly
But here doctor is the case said I—Clementina is a woman with whom I had the honour of being acquainted before I knew Miss Byron Clementina has infinite merits She herself refused me not She consented to accept of the terms I offered She even besought her friends to comply with them She has an opinion of my honour and of my tenderness for her Till I had the happiness of knowing Miss Byron I was determined to await either her recovery or release and will Miss Byron herself if she knows that forgive me the circumstances not changed for the change of a resolution of which Clementina was so worthy The treatment the poor Lady has met with for my sake as once she wrote tho virgin modesty induced her to cross out those words has heightened her disorder She still to this moment wishes to see me While there is a possibility tho not a probability of my being made the humble instrument of restoring an excellent woman who in herself deserves from me every consideration of tenderness ought I to wish to engage the heart were I able to succeed in my wishes of the equally excellent Miss Byron—Could
I be happy in my own mind were I to try and to succeed And if not must I not be as ungrateful to her as ungenerous to the other—Miss Byrons happiness cannot depend on me She must be happy in the happiness she will give to the man of her choice whoever shall be the man
We were all silent My grandmamma and aunt seemed determined to be so and I could not speak He proceeded
You know not dear Miss Byron I wished you not to know the conflicts my mind laboured with when I parted with you on my going abroad My destiny was wrapt up in doubt and uncertainty I was invited over Signor Jeronymo was deemed irrecoverable He wished to see me and desired but to live to see me My presence was requested as a last effort to recover his noble sister You yourself madam applauded my resolution to go But that I might not be thought to wish to engage you in my favour so circumstanced as I was that to have done so would have been to have acted unworthily to both Ladies I insinuated my hopelessness of ever being nearer to you than I was
I was not able to take a formal leave of you I went over Success attended the kind the soothing treatment which Clementina met with from her friends Success also attended the means used for the recovery of the noble Jeronymo Conditions were again proposed Clementina on her restoration shone upon us all even with a brighter lustre than she did before her disorder All her friends consented to reward with the hand of their beloved daughter the man to whom they attributed secondarily the good they rejoiced in I own to you Ladies that what was before honour and compassion now became admiration and I should have been unjust to the merits of so excellent a woman if I could not say Love I concluded myself already the husband of Clementina yet it would have
been strange if the welfare and happiness of Miss Byron were not the next wish of my heart I rejoiced that despairing as I did of such an event before I went over because of the articles of Religion and Residence I had not sought to engage more than her friendship and I devoted myself wholly to Clementina—I own it Ladies—And had I thought Angel as she came out upon proof that I could not have given her my heart I had been equally unjust and ungrateful For dear Ladies if you know all her story you must know that occasion called her out to act gloriously and that gloriously she answered the call
He paused We were still silent My grandmamma and aunt looked at each other by turns But their eyes as well as mine at different parts of his speech shewed their sensibility He proceeded gracefully looking down and at first with some little hesitation
I am sensible it was with a very ill grace that refused as I must in justice call it tho on the noblest motives by Clementina I come to offer myself and so soon after her refusal to a Lady of Miss Byrons delicacy I should certainly have acted more laudably respecting my own character only had I taken at least the usual time of a WidowerLove But great minds such as Miss Byrons and yours Ladies are above common forms where decorum is not too much neglected As to myself what do I but declare a passion that would have been but for one obstacle which is now removed as servent as man ever knew Dr Bartlett has told me madam to me that you and my sisters have seen the Letters I wrote to him from Italy By the contents of some of those and of the Letters I left with you madam to my grandmamma you have seen Clementinas constant adherence to the step she so greatly took In this Letter received but last Wednesday taking one out of
his bosom you will see my last Letters to them unreceived as they must be that I am urged by all her family for the sake of setting her an example to address myself to a Lady of my own country This impels me as I may say to accelerate the humble tender of my vows to you madam However hasty the step may be thought in my situation Would not an inexcusable neglect or seeming indifference as if I were balancing as to the person have been attributable to me had I for dull and cold forms sake been capable of postponing the declaration of my affection to Miss Byron And if madam you can so far get over observances which perhaps on consideration will be found to be punctilious only as to give your heart with your hand to a man who himself has been perplexed by what some would call particular as it sounds a double Love an embarrasment however not of his own seeking or which he could possibly avoid you will lay him under obligation to your goodness to your magnanimity I will call it which all the affectionate tenderness of my life to come will never enable me to discharge
He then put the Letter a translation of it inclosed into my hand I have already answered it madam said he and acquainted my friend that I have actually tendered myself to the acceptance of a Lady worthy of a sisterly relation to their Clementina and have not been rejected Your goodness must enable me I humbly hope it will to give them still stronger assurances of your favour On my happiness they have the generosity to build a part of their own
Not well before I was more than once apprehensive of fainting as he talked agreeable as was his talk and engaging as was his manner My grandmamma and aunt saw my complexion change at his particular address to me in the last part of his speech Each put her kind hand on one of mine and held it on it as my other hand held my handkerchief now
to my eyes and now as a cover to my selffelt varying cheek
At the same moment that he ceased speaking he took our triplyunited hands in both his and in the most respectful yet graceful manner his Letter laid in my lap pressed each of the three with his lips mine twice I could not speak My grandmamma and aunt delighted yet tears standing in their eyes looked upon each other and upon me each as expecting the other to speak I have perhaps said he with some emotion taken up too much of Miss Byrons attention on this my first personal declaration I will now return to the company below Tomorrow I will do myself the honour to dine with you We will for this evening postpone the important subject Miss Byron I presume will be best pleased to have it so I shall tomorrow be favoured with the result of your deliberations Mean time may I meet with an interceding friend in every one I have had the pleasure to see this day I must flatter myself with the honour of Miss Byrons whole heart as well as with the approbation of all her friends I cannot be thought at present to deserve it but it shall be the endeavour of my life so to do
He withdrew with a grace which was all his own
The moment he was gone from us my grandmamma threw her arms about her Harriet then about my aunt and they congratulated me and each other
We were all pained at heart when we read the Letter It is from Signor Jeronymo urging your brother to set the example to his sister which they so much want her to follow I send you the translation Pray return it Poor Lady Clementina Without seeing the last Letters he wrote to them she seems to be tired into compliance I will not say one half that is upon my mind on this occasion as you will have the Letter before you His lastwritten Letters
will not favour her wishes Poor Lady Can I forbear to pity her And still the more is she to be pitied as your brothers excellencies rise upon us
I besought my aunt to excuse me to the company
Sir Charles joined his friends HIS friends indeed they are all with a vivacity in his air and manner which charmed everybody while the silly heart of your Harriet would not allow her to enter into company the whole night Indeed it wanted the inducement of his presence for to every ones regret he declined staying supper yet my uncle put it to him—What Sir do you choose to sup at your inn My uncle will have it that Sir Charles looked an answer of displeasure for suffering him to go to it atall My uncle is a goodnatured man He will sometimes concede when he is not convinced and on every appearance which makes for his opinion we are sure to hear of it
I shall have an opportunity tomorrow morning early This morning I might say to send this long Letter by a neighbour who is obliged to ride post to town on his own affairs
Had I not had this agreeable employment rest I am sure would not have come near me Your brother I hope has found it Remember I always mean to include my dear Lady L in this correspondence Anybody else but discretionally My dear Ladies both Adieu
HARRIET BYRON
Bologna Sunday Sept 24 Oct 5
WE have at last my Grandison some hopes given us that our dear Clementina will yield to our wishes
The General with his Lady made us a visit from Naples on purpose to make a decisive effort as he called it and vowed that he would not return till he left her in a disposition to oblige us The Bishop at one time brought the Patriarch to reason with her who told her that she ought not to think of the veil unless her father and mother consented to her assuming it
Mrs Beaumont was prevailed upon to favour us with her company She declared for us And on Thursday last Clementina was still harder set Her Father Mother the General and his Lady the Bishop all came into my chamber and sent for her She came Then did we all supplicate her to oblige us The General was at first tenderly urgent The Bishop besought her The young Marchioness pressed her Her Mother took her hand between both hers and in silent tears could only sigh over it And lastly my Father dropt down on one knee to her My daughter my child said he oblige me Your Jeronymo could not refrain from tears
She fell on her knee—O my Father said she rise or I shall die at your feet Rise my Father
Not my dear till you consent to oblige me
Grant me but a little time my Father my dear my indulgent Father
The General thought he saw a flexibility which we had never before seen in her on this subject and called upon her for her instant determination Shall a Father kneel in vain said he Shall a Mother in weeping silence in vain entreat—Now my sister comply—or—He sternly stopt
Have patience with me said she but till the Chevaliers next Letters come You expect them soon Let me receive his next Letter And putting her hand to her forehead—Rise my Father or I die at your feet
I thought the General pushed too hard I begged that the next Letters might be waited for
Be it so said my father rising and raising her But whatever be the contents remember my dearest child that I am your Father your indulgent Father and oblige me
My dear Clementina said the General will not this paternal goodness prevail upon you Your Father Mother Brothers are all ready to kneel to you Yet are we all to be slighted And is a foreigner an Englishman a Heretic great and noble as is the man a man too whom you have so gloriously refused to be preferred to us all Who can bear the thoughts of such a preference
And remember my Sister said the Bishop that you already know his opinion You have already had his advice in the Letters he wrote to you in the months correspondence which passed between you before he left Italy Think you that the Chevalier Grandison can recede from an opinion solemnly given the circumstances not having varied
I have not been well It is wicked to oppose my Father my Mother I cannot argue with my Brothers I have not been well Spare me spare me my Lords to the General and the Bishop My Father gives me time Dont you deny it me
My mother afraid of renewing her disorder said Withdraw my dear if you choose to do so and compose yourself The intention is not to compel but to persuade you
O madam said she persuasion so strongly urged by my parents is more than compulsion—I take the liberty you give me
She hurried to Mrs Beaumont and throwing her arms about her O madam I have been oppressed Oppressed by persuasion By a kneeling Father By a weeping Mother By entreating Brothers—And this is but persuasion—Cruel persuasion
Mrs Beaumont then entered into argument with her She represented to her the Generals inflexibility
Her Fathers and Mothers indulgence The wishes of her two other Brothers She pleaded your opinion given as an impartial man not merely as a Protestant She told her of an admirable young Lady of your own country who was qualified to make you happy of whom she had heard several of your countrymen speak with great distinction This last plea as the intimate friendship between you and Mrs Beaumont is so well known took her attention She would not for the world stand in the way of the Chevalier Grandison She wished you to be happy she said whatever became of her Father Marescotti strongly enforced this point and advised her to come to some resolution before your next Letters arrived as it was not to be doubted but the contents of them would support your former opinion The Patriarchs arguments were reurged with additional force A day was named when she was again to be brought before her assembled friends Mrs Beaumont applauded her for the magnanimity she had already shewn in the discharge of her first duty and called upon her to distinguish herself equally in the filial
Clementina took time to consider of these and other arguments and after three hours passed in her closet she gave the following written paper to Mrs Beaumont which she said she hoped when read in full assembly would excuse her from attending her friends in the proposed congress
I Am tired out my dear Mrs Beaumont with your kindlymeant importunities
With the importunities prayers and entreaties of my brothers
O my mamma how well do you deserve even implicit obedience from a daughter who has overclouded your happy days You never knew discomfort till your hapless Clementina gave it you The sacrifice of my life would be a poor atonement for what I have made you suffer
But who can withstand a kneeling Father Indeed my pappa ever good ever indulgent I dread to see you Let me not again behold you as on Thursday last
I have denied to my self and such the motive that I must not I do not repent it the man I esteemed I never can be his
Father Marescotti tho he now loves the man suggests that my late disorder might be a judgment upon me for suffering my heart to be engaged by the Heretic
I am absolutely forbidden to think of atoning for my fault by the only measure that in my opinion could have done it
You tell me Mrs Beamount and all my friends join with you that honour generosity and the esteem which I avow for the Chevalier Grandison as my friend as my fourth brother all join to oblige me to promote the happiness of a man I myself have disappointed And you are of opinion that there is one particular woman of his own country who is capable of making him happy—But do you say that I ought to give the example—Impossible Honour and the punctilio of woman will not permit me to do that—
But thus pressed thus dreading again to see a kneeling Father a weeping Mother and having reason to think I may not live long that a relapse into my former malady with the apprehensions of which Father Marescotti terrifies me may be the punishment of my disobedience Cruel Father Marescotti to terrify me with an affliction I so much dread and that it will be a consolation to me in my departing hour to reflect that I have obeyed my parents in an article on which their hearts are immoveably fixed and still further being assured that they will look upon my resignation as a compensation for all the troubles I have given them for many
many months passed—God enable me I pray to resign to their will But if I cannot shall I be still entreated still persuaded—I hope not—I will do my endeavour to prevail on myself to obey—But whatever be the event of my Selfcontendings Grandison must give the example
How did we congratulate ourselves when we read this paper faint as are the hopes it gives us
Our whole endeavour is now to treat her with tender observance that she may not think of receding Nor will we ask her to see the person she knows we favour till we can assure her that you will set her the example And if there be a Lady with whom you think you could be happy may not this my dear Grandison pleaded by you be a motive with her
The Count of Belvedere has made overtures to us which are too great for our acceptance were this alliance to take place We have been told but not by himself the danger to which his dispair had subjected him in more than one visit to you at Bologna had you not borne with his rashness You know him to be a man of probity of piety He is a zealous Catholic and you must allow that a religious zeal is a strengthener a confirmer of all the social sanctions He is learned and being a domestic man he contrary to the Italian custom admires in a wife those intellectual improvements which make a woman a fit companion for her husband You know how much the Marchioness excells almost all the women of quality in Italy in a taste for polite literature You know she has encouraged the same taste in her daughter and the Count considers her as the only woman in Italy with whom he can be happy
As you my Grandison cannot now be my brother by marriage the Count of Belvedere is the only man in the world I can wish to be so He is of Italy My sister always so dear to us and he will be ever
with us or we with them He knows the unhappy way she has been in and was so far from making that an objection that when her malady was at the height being ecouraged by physicians to hope that her recovery would be the probable consequence he would have thought himself the happiest of men could he have been honoured with her hand He knows her Love of you He adores her for her motive of refusing you He loves you and is confident of the inviolable honour of both Whose alliance on all these considerations can be so desirable to us as that with the Count of Belvedere
Surely my dear friend it must be in your power to set the example In yours who could subdue a whole family of zealous Catholics and keep your own religion and who could engage the virgin heart of one of the most delicate women in the world What woman who has a heart to bestow what family that has a daughter or sister to give can withstand you Religion and Country of both the same
Give us hope therefore my dear Grandison that you will make the effort Assure us that you will not scruple if you can succeed to set the example and on this assurance we will claim from Clementina the effects of the hope she has given us And if we can prevail will in England return you thanks for the numberless favours you have conferred upon us
Thus earnestly as well from inclination as in compliance with the pressing entreaties of every one of a family which I hope are still and ever will be dear to you do I your Jeronymo your Brother your Friend solicit you Mrs Beaumont joins with us She scruples not she bids me tell you to pronounce that you and Clementina will both be more happy she with the Count of Belvidere your respective Countries so distant your Religion so different you with an Englishwoman than you could have been with each other Mrs Beaumont has
owned to me in private that you often in conversation with her even while you had hope of calling Clementina yours lamented for her sake as well as your own the unhappy situation with respect to Religion you were both in and that you had declared more than once to her as indeed you did once to us that in a beginning address you would not have compromised thus with a Princess May we not expect everything my Grandison from your magnanimity We hope it is in your power and we doubt not your will to contribute to our happiness But whatever be the event I beseech you my dear friend continue to love
Your JERONYMO
GrosvenorSquare Sunday Oct 15
CAN I forgive your pride your petulance—No Harriet positively no I write to scold you and having ordered my Lord to sup abroad I shall perhaps oblige you with a long Letter We honest folks who have not abundance of Lovefooling upon our hands find ourselves happy in a good deal of quiet leisure and I love to chide and correct you wise ones—Thus then I begin—
Ridiculous parade among you I blame you all Could he not have been Mrs Shirleys guest if he was not to be permitted to repose under the same roof with his sovereign Lady and Mistress But must you let him go to an inn—What for Why to shew the world he was but on a foot at present with your other humble servants and be thought no more by the insolent Greville and affronted as an invader of his rights Our Sex is a foolish Sex Too little or too much parade Lord help us Were it not that
we must be afraid to appear overforward to the man himself the world is a contemptible thing and we should treat it as such
And yet after all what with Lady Clementina what with the world and what with our own punctilio and palpitating hearts andsoforth and all that and more than all that I own you are pretty nicely circumstanced But my life for yours you will behave like a simpleton on occasion of his next address to you And why Did you ever know that people did not who are full of apprehensions who aimed at being very delicate who were solicitous to take their measures from the judgment of those without them pragmatical souls perhaps who from their notions either on what they have read or by the addresses to them of their own silly fellows aukward and unmeaning and by no means to be compared for integrity understanding politeness to my brother Consider child that he having seen in different countries perhaps a hundred women equally specious with the present mistress of his destiny were form and outward grace to be the attractives is there—fore sitter to give than take the example
But Harriet I write to charge you not to increase your own difficulties by too much parade Your frankness of heart is a prime consideration with him He expects not to meet with the girl but the sensible woman in his address to you He is pursuing a laudable end—Dont teaze him with pugs tricks—
What signifies asking me now
Did you not lay your heads together And the wisest which ever were set on womens shoulders But indeed I never knew consultations of any kind turn to account It is only a parcel of people getting together proposing doubts and puzzling one another, and ending as they began if not worse Doctors differ So many persons so many minds
And O how our petulant heart throbbed with indignation because he came not to breakfast with you What benefit has a polite man over an unpolite one where the latter shall have his rusticity allowed for O that is his way and when the other has expectations drawn upon him which if not critically answered he is not to be forgiven—He is a prudent man He may have overslept himself—Might dream of Clementina Then it was a fault in him that he stayed to dine on the road—His horses might want rest truly▪—Upon my word Harriet a woman in Love is—a woman in Love Wise or foolish before we are all equally foolish then The same froward petulant captious babies—I protest we are very silly creatures all of us in these circumstances and did not Love make men as great fools as ourselves they would hardly think us worthy of their pursuit Yet I am so true to the Freemasonry myself that I would think the man who should dare to say half I have written of our Dollships ought not to go away with his life
My sister and I are troubled about this Greville Inform us the moment you can of the particulars of what passed between my brother and him pray do We long also to see the Letter he has put into your hands from Bologna It is on the road we hope
Caroline and I are as much concerned for your honour your punctilio as you or any of you can be But by the account you give me of my brothers address to you in presence of your grandmother and aunt as well as from our knowledge of his politeness neither you nor we need to trouble our heads about it It may be all left to him He knows so well what becomes the character of the woman whom he hopes to call his wife that you will be sure of your dignity being preserved if you place a confidence in him And yet no man is so much above mere formal regards as he is Let me enumerate instances from your Letter before me
His own intention in the first place not to surprise you by his visits as you apprehended he would which would have made him look like a man of selfimagined consequence to you—His providing himself with accommodations at an inn and not giving way to the invitation even of your sagacious uncle Selby I must raily him Does he spare me—His singling you out on Friday from your menfriends yet giving you the opportunity of your aunts and grandmothers company to make his personal application to you for your favour—His requesting the interest of your other friends with you as if he presumed not on your former acquaintance and this after an application not discouraged made to your friends and you
As to his equanimity in his first address to you his retaining your hand forsooth before all your friends and soforth never find fault with that Hariet Indeed you do make an excuse for the very freedom you blame—So Loverlike— He is the very man that a conscious young woman as you are should wish to be addressed by So much courage yet so much true modesty—What I warrant you would have had a man chalked out for you▪ who should have stood at distance bowed scraped trembled while you had nothing to do but bridle and make stiff courtesies to him with your hands before you—Plagued with his doubts and with your can dissidences afraid he would now and now and now pop out the question which he had not the courage to put and so running on simpering fretting fearing two parrallel lines side by side and never meeting till some interposing friends in pity to you both put ones head pointing to the others head and stroking and clapping the shoulder of each set you at each other as men do by other dunghilbred creatures
You own he took no notice of your emotion when he first addressed himself to you so gave you
an opportunity to look up which otherwise you would have wanted Now dont you think you know a man creature or two who would on such an occasion have grinned you quite out of countenance and insulted you with their pity for being modest—But you own that he had emotion too when he first opened his mind to you—What a duce would the girl have—Orme and Fowler in your head no doubt The tremblings of rejected men and the phantasies of romantic women were to be a rule to my brother I suppose with your mockmajesty—Ah Harriet Did I not say that we women are very silly creatures—But my brother is a good man—So we must have something to find fault with him for—Hah hah hah hah What do you laugh at Charlotte—What do I laugh at Harriet—Why at the idea of a couple of Loveyers taken each with a violent aguefit at their first approach to each other—Hands shaking—Knees trembling—Lips quivering—Tongue faultering—Teeth chattering—I had a good mind to present you with an aguedialogue between such a trembling couple—I I I I says the Lover—You you you you says the girl if able to speak at all But Harriet you shall have the whole on demand Rave at me if you will But Love as it is called by boys and girls shall ever be the subject of my ridicule Does it not lead us girls into all manner of absurdities inconveniencies undutifulness disgrace—Villainous Cupidity—It does
To be serious—Neither does my brother address you in a stile that impeaches either his own understanding or yours—Another fault Harriet is it not—But sure you are not so very a girl
The justice he does to Lady Clementina and her family Let me be very serious when I speak of Clementina is a glorious instance as well of his greatness of mind as of his sincerity He has no need to depreciate one Lady to help him to exalt or do justice
I should rather say to another By praising her he makes noble court to you in supposing you as you are one of the most generous of women How great is his compliment to both Ladies when he calls Clementina the Miss Byron of Italy Who my dear ever courted woman as my brother courts you Indeed there can be but very few men who have such a woman to court
He suffers you not to ask for an account of the state of his heart from the time he knew you first till now He gives it to you unasked And how glorious is that account both to you and himself
Let us look back upon his conduct when last in Italy and when every step seemed to lead to his being husband of another woman
The recovery of Clementina and of her noble brother seem to be the consequence of his friendly goodness The grateful family all join to reward him with their darlings hand her heart supposed to be already his He like the man of honour he is concludes himself bound by his former offers They accept him upon those terms The Ladys merits thine out with transcendent lustre in the eyes of every one even of us his sisters and of you Harriet and your best friends Must they not in his to whom Merit was ever the first Beauty but the second attractive He had no tie to any other woman on earth He had only the tenderness of his own heart with regard to Miss Byron to contend with Ought he not to have contended with it He did and so far conquered as to enable himself to be just to the Lady whose great qualities and the concurrence of her friends in his favour had converted Compassion for her into Love And who that hear her story can forbear to Love her But with what tenderness with what politeness does he in his Letter to his chosen correspondent express himself of Miss Byron He declares that if she were not to be happy it would be a great abatement
of his own felicity You however remember how politely he recals his apprehensions that you may not on his account be altogether so happy as he wishes as the suggestions of his own presumption and censures himself for barely supposing that he had been of consequence enough with you to give you pain
How much to your honour before he went over does he account for your smiles for yourfrankness of heart in his company He would not build upon them Nor indeed could he know the state of your heart as we did He had not the opportunity How silly was your punctilio that made you sometimes fansy it was out of mere compassion that he revealed to you the state of his engagement abroad You see he tells you that such was his opinion of your greatness of mind that he thought he had no other way but to put it in your power to check him if his Love for you should stimulate him to an act of neglect to the Lady to whom she having never refused him and not being then in a condition either to claim him or set him free he thought himself under obligation Dont you revere him for his honour to her the nature of her malady considered What must he have suffered in this conflict
Well and now by a strange turn in the Lady but glorious to herself as he observes the obstacle removed he applies to Miss Byron for her favour How sensible is he of what delicacy requires from her How justly respecting his Love for you does he account for not postponing for the sake of cold and dull form as he justly expresses it his address to you How greatly does the Letter he delivered to you favour his argument Ah the poor Clementina Cruel persuades her relations I hate and pity them in a breath Never before did hatred and pity meet in the same bosom as they do in mine on this occasion His difficulties my dear and the uncommon situation he is in as if he were offering you but a divided Love
enhance your glory You are reinstated on the Female throne to the lowermost footstep of which you once was afraid you had descended You are offered a man whose perplexities have not proceeded from the entanglements of intrigue inconstancy perfidy but from his own compassionate nature And could you by any other way in the world than by this supposed divided Love have had it in your power by accepting his humblyoffered hand to lay him under obligation to you which he thinks he never shall be able to discharge Lay him—Who—Sir CHARLES GRANDISON—For whom so many virgin hearts have sighed in vain—And what a triumph to our Sex is this as well as to my Harriet
And now Harriet let me tell you that my sister and I are both in great expectations of your next Letter It is it must be written before you will have this My brother is more than man You have only to shew yourself to be superior to the forms of woman If you play the fool with him now that you have the power you and we have so long wished you if you give pain to his noble because sincere heart by any the least shadow of Female affectation you who have hitherto been distinguished for so amiable a frankness of heart you who cannot doubt his honour—the honour of a man who solicits your favour in even a great manner a manner in which no man before him ever courted a woman because few men before him have ever been so particularly circumstanced a manner that gives you an opportunity to outshine in your acceptance of him even the noble Clementina in her refusal as bigotry must have been in part her motive if I say you act foolishly weakly now—Look to it—You will depreciate if not cast away your own glory Remember you have a man to deal with who from our behaviour to Mrs Oldham at his first return to England took measure of our minds, and without loving us the less for it looked
down upon us with pity and made us ever since look upon ourselves in a diminishing light and as sisters who have greater reason to glory in their brother than he has in them Would you not rather you who are to stand in a still nearer relation to him invite his admiration than his pity Till Friday night last you had it What Saturday has produced we shall soon guess
Not either Lord L or Lord G not Emily not aunt Eleanor now either see or hear read what you write except hereandthere a passage which you yourself would not scruple to hear read to them Are you not our third sister To each of us our next Self And what gives you still more dignity the elected wife of our brother
Adieu my love In longing expectation of your next we subscribe
Your affectionate
• CAROLINE L
• CHARLOTTE G
Saturday Oct 14
MR Fenwick has just now been telling us from the account given him by that Greville vile man how the affair was between him and Sir Charles Grandison Take it briefly as follows
About Eight yesterday morning that audacious wretch went to the George at Northampton and after making his enquiries demanded an audience of Sir Charles Grandison Sir Charles was near dressed and had ordered his chariot to be ready with intent to visit us early
He admitted of Mr Grevilles visit Mr Greville confesses that his own behaviour was peremptory his
word for insolent I suppose I hear Sir said he that y•u are come down into this country in order to carry off from u the richest jewel in it—I need not say whom My name is Greville I have long made my addresses to her and have bound myself under a vow that were a Prince to be my competitor I would dispute his title to her
You seem to be a princely man Sir said Sir Charles offended with his air and words no doubt You need not Mr Greville have told me your name I have heard of you What your pretensions are I know not your vow is nothing to me I am master of my own actions and shall not account to you or any man living for them
I presume Sir you came down with the intention I have hinted at I beg only your answer as to that I beg it a favour gentleman to gentleman
The manner of your address to me Sir is not such as will intitle you to an answer for your own sake I will tell you however that I am come down to pay my devoirs to Miss Byron I hope for acceptance and know not that I am to make allowance for the claim of any man on earth
Sir Charles Grandison I know your character I know your bravery It is from that knowlege that I consider you as a sit man for me to talk to I am not a Sir Hargrave Pollexfen Sir
I make no account of who or what you are Mr Greville Your visit is not at this time a welcome one I am going to breakfast with Miss Byron I shall be here in the evening and at leisure then to attend to any-thing you shall think yourself authorized to say to me on this or any other subject
We may be overheard Sir—Shall I beg you to walk with me into the garden below You are going to breakfast you say with Miss Byron Dear Sir Charles Grandison oblige me with an audience of five minutes only in the backyard or garden
In the evening Mr Greville command me anywhere But I will not be broken in upon now
I will not leave you at liberty Sir Charles to make your visit where you are going till I am gratified with one five minutes conference with you below
Excuse me then M Greville that I give orders as if you were not here Sir Charles ran Up came one of his servants—Is the chariot ready—Almost ready was the answer—Make haste Saunders may see his friends in this neighbourhood He may stay with them till Monday Frederick and you attend me
He took out a Letter and read in it as he walked about the room with great composure not regarding Mr Greville who stood swelling as he owned at one of the windows till the servant withdrew and then he addressed himself to Sir Charles in language of reproach on this contemptuous treatment—Mr Greville said Sir Charles you may be thankful perhaps that you are in my own apartment This intrusion is a very ungentlemanly one
Sir Charles was angry and expressed impatience to be gone Mr Greville owned that he knew not how to contain himself to see his rival with so many advantages in his person and air dressed avowedly to attend the woman he had so long—Shall I say been troublesome to For I am sure he had never the shadow of countenance from me
I repeat my demand Sir Charles of a conference of five minutes below
You have no right to make any demand upon me Mr Greville If you think you have the evening will be time enough But even then you must behave more like a gentleman than you have done hitherto to intitle youself to be considered as on a foot with me
Not on a foot with you Sir—And he put his hand upon his sword A gentleman is on a foot with a Prince Sir in a point of honour—
Go then and find out your prince Mr Greville I am no Prince And you have as much reason to address yourself to the man you never saw as to me
His servant just then shewing himself and withdrawing Mr Greville added he I leave you in possession of this apartment Your servant Sir In the evening I shall be at your command
One word with you Sir Charles—One word—
What would Mr Greville turning back
Have you made proposals Are your proposals accepted
I repeat that you ought to have behaved differently Mr Greville to be intitled to an answer to these questions
Answer me however Sir I beg it as a favour
Sir Charles took out his watch—After Nine I shall make them wait But thus I answer you I have made proposals and as I told you before I hope I shall he accepted
Were you any other man in the world Sir the man before you might question your success with a woman whose difficulties are augmented by the obsequiousness of her admirers But such a man as you would not have come down on a fools errand I love Miss Byron to distraction I could not shew my face in the county and suffer any man out of it to carry away such a prize
Out of the county Mr Greville What narrowness is this But I pity you for your Love of Miss Byron And—
You pity me Sir interrupted he—I bear not such haughty tokens of superiority Either give up your pretensions to Miss Byron or make me sensible of it in the way of a gentleman
Mr Greville your servant And he went down
The wretch followed him and when they came to the yard and Sir Charles was stepping into the chariot he took his hand several persons present—We
are observed Sir Charles whispered he Withdraw with me for a few moments By the great God of Heaven you must not refuse me I cannot bear that you should go thus triumphantly on the business you are going upon
Sir Charles suffered himself to be led hy the wretch And when they were come to a private spot Mr Greville drew and demanded Sir Charles to do the like putting himself in a posture of defence
Sir Charles put his hand on his sword but drew it not Mr Greville said he know your own safety and was turning from him when the wretch swore he would admit of no alternative but his giving up his pretensions to Miss Byron
His rage as Mr Fenwick describes it from himself making him dangerous Sir Charles drew—I only defend myself said he—Greville you keep no guard—He put by his pass with his sword and without making a push closed in with him twisted his sword out of his hand and pointing his own to his breast You see my power Sir—Take your life and your sword—But if you are either wise or would be thought a man of honour tempt not again your fate
And am I again master of my sword and unhurt Tis generous—The evening you say
Still I say I will be yours in the evening either at your own house or at my inn but not as a Duellist Sir You know my principles
How can this be and he swore—How was it done Expose me not at Selbyhouse How the devil could this be—I expect you in the evening here
And he went off a backway Sir Charles instead of going directly into his chariot went up to his apartment wrote his Billet to my aunt to excuse himself finding it full late to get hither in time and being somewhat discomposed in his temper as he owned to us And then he took an airing in his chariot till he came hither to dine
But how should we have been alarmed had we known that Sir Charles declined supping here in order to meet the violent man again at his inn And how did we again blame ourselves for taking amiss his not supping with us
Mr Fenwick says that Mr Greville got him to accompany him to the George
Sir Charles apologized with great civility to Mr Greville for making him wait for him Mr Greville had he been disposed for mischief had no use of his rightarm It was sprained by the twisting of his sword from it and in a sling
Sir Charles behaved to them both with great politeness and Mr Greville owned that he had acted nobly by him in returning his sword even before his passion was calmed and in not using his own But it was some time it seems before he was brought into this temper And what a good deal contributed to it was Sir Charless acquainting him that he had not given particulars at Selbyhouse or to anybody of the fray between them but referred it to himself to give them as he should think proper This forbearance he highly applauded and was even thankful for it Fenwick shall in confidence said he report this matter to your honour and my own mortification as the truth requires at Selbyhouse Let me not be hated by Miss Byron on this account My passion gave me disadvantage I will try to honour you Sir Charles But I must hate you if you succeed One condition however I make That you reconcile me to the Selbys and Miss Byron and if you are likely to be successful let me have the credit of reporting that it is by my consent
They parted with civility but not it seems till a late hour Sir Charles as Mr Beauchamp and Dr Bartlett have told us was always happy in making by his equanimity generosity and forgiveingness fast
friends of inveterate enemies Thank God the issue was not unhappy
Mr Fenwick says that the rencounter is very little guessed at or talked of Thank God for that too and to those few who have enquired of Mr Greville or Mr Fenwick about it it has been denied and now Greville as Mr Fenwick had done before declares he will give out that he yields up all his hopes of Miss Byron but says that Sir Charles Grandison of whose address everybody already talks is the only man in England to whom he could resign his pretensions
He insists upon Sir Charless dining with him tomorrow Mr Fenwicks also Sir Charles is so desirous that the neighbourhood should conclude that he and these gentlemen are on a foot of good understanding that he made the less scruple for everyones sake to accept of his invitation
I am very very thankful my dearest Lady G that the constant blusterings of this violent man for so many months past are so happily overblown
Mr Fenwick as I guessed he would made proposals to my aunt and me for my Lucy Lucy has a fine fortune But if she had not he shall not have her Indeed he is not worthy of Lucys mind He must be related to me he said But I answered No man must call Lucy Selby his who can have any other motive for his wishes but her merit
We hourly expect your brother The new danger he has been in on my account endears him still more to us all How how will you forbear said my uncle throwing yourself in his arms at once when he demands the result of our deliberations If I follow Mr Deanes advice I am to give him my hand at the first word If Lucys and Nancys he is not to ask me twice If my grandmammas and aunts They are always good I am to act as occasion requires and
as my own confidedin prudence will suggest at the time but to be sure not to be guilty of affectation But still my dear Ladies something sticks with me and ought it not in relation to the noble Clementina
Saturday Night Oct 14
NOW my dear Ladies L and G let me lay before you just as it happened for your approbation or censure all that has passed between the best of men and your Harriet Happy shall I be If I can be acquitted by his sisters
My grandmamma went home last night but was here before Sir Charles yet he came a little after Eleven We were all in the great parlour when he came He addressed us severally with his usual politeness and my grandmother particularly with such an air of reverence as did himself credit because of her years and wisdom
We all congratulated him on what we had heard from Mr Fenwick
Mr Greville and I said he are on every good terms When I have the presumption to think myself a welcome guest I am to introduce him as my friend Mr Greville tho so long your neighbour modestly doubts his own welcome
Well he may said my aunt Selby after—No afters dear madam if you mean any-thing that has passed between him and me
He again addressed himself to me I rejoice Sir said I that you have quieted so happily a spirit always thought uncontroulable
You must tell me madam replyed he when I can be allowed to introduce Mr Greville to you
Shall I answer for my cousin said Lucy—I did not Sir Charles think you such a designer—You were not you know to introduce Mr Greville till you were assured of being yourself a very welcome guest to my cousin
I own my plot replied he I had an intent to surprise Miss Byron into an implied favour to myself
You need not Sir Charles thought I take such a method
On his taking very kind notice of my cousin James Do you know Sir Charles said my uncle whose joy when it overflows seldom suffers the dear man to consult seasonableness that that boy is already in Love with your Emily—The youth blushed—
I am obliged to everybody who loves my Emily She is a favourite of Miss Byron—Must she not then be a good girl
She is indeed a favourite said I and so great a one that I know not who can deserve her
I said this lest Sir Charles should think on a supposition that my uncle meant something that my cousin had my countenance
Sir Charles then addressed himself to my grandmamma and aunt speaking low—I hope Ladies I may be allowed in your presence to resume the conversation of yesterday with Miss Byron
No Sir Charles answered my grandmamma affecting to look serious that must not be
Must not be madam and he seemed surprised and affected too My aunt was a little startled but not so much as she would have been had she not known the lively turns which that excellent parent sometimes gives to subjects of conversation
Must not be I repent Sir Charles But I will not suffer you to be long in suspense We have always when proposals of this kind have been made referred ourselves to our Harriet She has prudence She has gratitude We will leave her and you together when
she is inclined to hear you on the interesting subject I know I am right Harriet is above disguises She will be obliged to speak for herself when she has not either her aunt or me to refer to She and you are not acquaintance of yesterday You Sir I dare say will not he displeased with the opportunity—
Neither Miss Byron nor I madam could wish for the absence of two such parental relations But this reference I will presume to construe as a hopeful prognostic May I now through your mediation madam to my aunt hope for the opportunity of addressing myself to Miss Byron
My aunt taking me to the window told me what had passed I was a little surprised at my grandmammas reference to myself only I expostulated with my aunt It is plain▪ madam that Sir Charles expected not this compliment
Your grandmammas motion surprised me a little my dear It proceeded from the fulness of her joy She meant a compliment to you both There is now no receding Let us withdraw together
What madam at his proposal As if expecting to be followed—See how my uncle looks at me Every ones eyes are upon me—In the afternoon if it must be—as by accident But I had rather you and my grandmamma were to be present I mean not to be guilty of affeciation to him I know my own heart and will not disguise it I shall want to refer to you I shall be silly I dare not trust myself
I wish the compliment had not been made replied my aunt But my dear come along with me
She went out I followed her a little reluctantly however and Lucy tells me that I looked so silly as was enough of itself to inform everybody of the intent of my withdrawing and that I expected Sir Charles would follow me
She was very cruel I told her and in my case would have looked as silly as I while I should have pitied her
I led to my closet My aunt seating me there was going from me Well madam and so I am to stay here quietly I suppose till Sir Charles vouchsafes to come Would Clementina have done so
No hint to him of Clementina in this way I charge you It would look ungrateful and girlish I will introduce him to you—
And stay with me I hope madam when he is introduced I tell you Lady G all my foibles Away went my aunt but soon returned and with her the man of men
She but turned herself round and saw him take my hand which he did with a compliment that would have made me proud at another time and left us together
I was resolved then to assume all my courage and if possible to be present to myself He was to himself yet had a modesty and politeness in his manner which softened the dignity of his address
Some men I fancy would have begun with admiring or pretending to admire the pieces of my own workmanship which you have seen hang here But not he After another compliment made as I presume to reassure me on my restored complexion I did indeed feel my face glow he spoke directly to his subject
I need not I am sure said he repeat to my dear Miss Byron what I said yesterday as to the delicacy of my situation with regard to what some would deem a divided or double Love I need not repeat to you the very great regard I have and ever shall have for the Lady abroad Her merit and your greatness of mind render any apology for so just a regard needless But it may be necessary to say what I can with truth say that I love not my own Soul better than I love Miss Byron You see madam I am wholly free with regard to that Lady—free by her own choice by her own will—You see that the whole family build
a part of their happiness on the success of my address to a Lady of my own country Clementinas wish always was that I would marry and only be careful that my choice should not disgrace the regard she vouchsafed to own for me Clementina when she has the pleasure of knowing the dear Lady before me if that may be by the name of Grandison will confess that my choice has done the highest credit to the favour she honoured me with
And will you not my dear Lady G be ready to ask Could Sir Charles Grandison be really in earnest in this humble court as if he doubted her favour to a creature every wish of whose heart was devoted to him Did he not rather for his own sake in order to give her the consequence which a wife of his ought to have resolve to dignify the poor girl who had so long been mortified by cruel suspense and who had so often despaired of ever being happy with the Lord of her heart O no my dear your brother looked the humble the modest Lover yet the man of sense, of dignity in Love I could not but be assured of his affection notwithstanding all that had passed And what had passed that he could possibly have helped—His pleas of the day before the contents of Signor Jeronymos Letter were all in my mind
He seemed to expect my answer He only whose generouslydoubting eye kept down mine can tell how I looked how I behaved—But hesitatingly tremblingly both voice and knees as I sat thus brokenly as near as I remember I answered not withdrawing my hand tho as I spoke he more than once pressed it with his lips—The honour of Sir Charles Grandison—Sir Charles Grandisons honour—no one ever did or ever can doubt—I must own—I must confess—There I paused
What does my dear Miss Byron own—What confess—Assure yourself madam of my honour of my gratitude—Should you have doubts speak them I
desire your favour but as I clear up your doubts I would speak them for you—I have spoken them for you I own to you madam that there may be force in your doubts which nothing but your generosity and affiance in the honour of the man before you can induce you to get over And thus far I will own against myself that were the Lady in whose heart I should hope an interest to have been circumstanced as I was my own delicacy would have been hurt owing indeed to the high notion I have of the true Female delicacy—Now say now own now confess my dear Miss Byron—what you were going to confess
This Sir is my confession—and it is the confession of a heart which I hope is as sincere as your own—That I am dazled confounded shall I say at the superior merits of the Lady you so nobly so like yourself glory still in esteeming as she well deserves to be esteemed
Joy seemed to flash from his eyes—He bowed on my hand and pressed it with his lips but was either silent by choice or could not speak
I proceeded tho with a hesitating voice a glowing cheek and downcast eyes—I fear not Sir any more than she did your honour your Justice no nor your indulgent tenderness—Your character your principles Sir are full security to the woman who shall endeavour to deserve from you that indulgence—But so justly high do I think of Lady Clementina and her conduct that I fear—ah Sir I fear—that it is impossible—
I stopt—I am sure I was in earnest and must look to be so or my countenance and my heart were not allied
What impossible—What fears my dear Miss Byron is impossible
Why thus kindly urged and by a man of unquestionable honour shall I not speak all that is in my
mind The poor Harrier Byron fears she justly fears when she contemplates the magnanimity of that exalted Lady that with all her care with all her endeavours she never shall be able to make the figure to HERSELF which is necessary for her own tranquillity however you might generously endeavour to assure her doubting mind This Sir is my doubt—And—all my doubt
Generous kind noble Miss Byron in a rapturous accent—And is this all your doubt Then must yet the man before you be a happy man for he questions not if life be lent him to make you one of the happiest of women Clementina has acted gloriously in preferring to all other considerations her Religion and her Country I can allow this in her favour against myself And shall I not be doubly bound in gratitude to her sisterexcellence who having not those trials yet the most delicate of human minds shews in my favour a frankness of heart which sets her above little forms and affectation and at the same time a generosity with regard to the merits of another Lady which has few examples
He then on one knee taking my passive hand between both his and kissing it once twice thrice—Repeat dear and everdear Miss Byron that this is all your doubt I bowed assentingly I could not speak—A happy an easy task is mine Be assured dearest madam that I will disavow every action of my life every thought of my heart every word of my mouth which tends not to dissipate that doubt
I took out my handkerchief—
My dear Miss Byron proceeded he with an ardour that bespoke his heart you are goodness itself I approached you with diffidence with more than diffidence with apprehension because of your known delicacy which I was afraid on this occasion would descend into punctiliousness—My blessings attend my future life as my grateful heart shall acknowlege this goodness—
Again he kissed my hand rising with dignity I could have received his vows on my knees but I was motionless yet I had joy to be enabled to give him joy—Joy to your brother to Sir Charles Grandison
He saw me greatly affected and indeed my emotion increased on reflection He considerately said I will leave you my dear Miss Byron to intitle myself to the congratulations of all our friends below From this moment after a thousand suspences and strange events which unsought for have chequered my past life I date my happiness
He most respectfully left me
I was glad he did Yet my eyes followed him His very shadow was grateful to me as he went downstairs And there it seems he congratulated himself and called for the congratulations of every one present in so noble a manner that every eye run over with joy
Was I not right said my grandmamma to my aunt You halfblamed me my dear in leaving Sir Charles and my Harriet together Harriet ever was above disguise Sir Charles might have guessed at her heart but he would not have known it from her own lips had she had you and me to refer to
Whatever you do madam answered my aunt must be right
My aunt came up to me She found me in a very thoughtful mood I had sometimes been accusing myself of forwardness and at others was acquitting myself or endeavouring to do so—yet mingling tho thus early a hundred delightful circumstances with my accusations and acquittals which were likely to bless my future lot Such as his relations and friends being mine mine his and I run them over all by name But my Emily my dear Emily I considered as my ward as well as his In this way my aunt found me She embraced me applauded me and
cleared up all my selfdoubtings as to forwardness and told me of their mutual congratulations below and how happy I had made them all What selfconfidence did her approbation give me—And as she assured me that my uncle would not railly but extol me I went down with spirits much higher than I went up with
Sir Charles and my grandmamma were talking together sitting side by side when I entered the room All the company stood up at my entrance—O my dear what a Princess in every ones eye will the declared Love of such a man make me How will all the consequence I had before among my partial friends and favourers be augmented
My uncle said sideling by me kindly intending not to dash me My sweet sparkler That was the name he used to call me before Sir Charles Grandison taught me a lesson that made me thoughtful You are now again my delight and my joy I thank you for not being—a fool—thats all Egad I was afraid of your Femality when you came face to face
Sir Charles came to me and with an air of the most respectful love taking my hand led me to a seat between himself and my grandmamma
My everdear Harriet said she and condescended to lift up my hand to her lips I will not abash you but must just say that you have acquitted yourself as I wished you to do I knew I could trust to a heart that ever was above affectation or disguise
Sir Charles Grandison madam said I has the generosity to distinguish and encourage a doubting mind
Infinitely obliging Miss Byron replied he pressing one hand between both his as my grandmamma held the other your condescension attracts both my Love and Reverence Permit me to say That had not Heaven given a Miss Byron for the object of my hope I had hardly after what had befallen me abroad ever looked forward to a wedded Love
One favour I have to beg of you Sir resumed my grandmamma It is that you will never use the word abroad or express persons by their countries in fine that you will never speak with reserve when the admirable Clementina is in your thoughts Mention her name with freedom my dear Sir to my child to me and to my daughter Selby—you may—We always loved and reverenced her Still we do so She has given an example to all her Sex of a passion properly subdued—Of temporal considerations yielding to eternal
Sir said I bowing as I sat I join in this request
His eyes glistened with grateful joy He bowed low to each but spoke not
My aunt came to us and sat down by Sir Charles refusing his seat because it was next me Let me said she enjoy your conversation I have heard part of your subject and subscribe to it with all my heart Lady G can testify for us all three that we cannot be so mean as to intend you a compliment Sir by what has been said
Nor can I madam as to imagine it You exalt yourselves even more than you do Clementina I will let my Jeronymo know some of the particulars which have given joy to my heart They will make him happy and the excellent Clementina I will not forbear her name will rejoice in the happy prospects before me She wanted but to be assured that the friend she so greatly honoured with her regard was not likely either in the qualities of the Ladys mind or in her familyconnections to be a sufferer by her declining his address
May nothing now happen my dear Lady G to overcloud—But I will not be apprehensive I will thankfully enjoy the present moment and leave the future to the Allwise Diposer of events If Sir Charles Grandison be mine and reward by his kindness my Love what can befal• me that I ought not to bear with resignation
But my dear Ladies let me here ask you a question or two
Tell me Did I ever as you remember suffer by suspenses by any thing?—Was there ever really such a man as Sir Hargrave Pollexfen—Did I not tell you my dreams when I told you of what I believed I had undergone from his persecuting insults It is well for the sake of preserving to me the grace of humility and for the sake of warning for all my days preceding that insult had been happy that I wrote down at the time an account of those sufferings those sufferings or I should have been apt to forget now that I ever was unhappy
And pray let me ask Ladies Can you guess what is become of my illness I was very ill you know when you Lady G did us the honour of a visit so ill that I could not hide it from you and my other dear friends as fain I would have done I did not think it was an illness of such a nature as that its cure depended on an easy heart I wa so much convinced of the merits of Lady Clementina and that no other woman in the world ought to be Lady Grandison that I thought I had pretty tolerably quieted my heart in that expectation I hope I brag not too soon But my dear I now see so easy so light so happy—that I hardly know whats the matter with me—But I hope nobody will find the malady I have lost May no disappointed heart be invaded by it Let it not travel to Italy The dear Lady there has suffered enough from a worse malady Nor if it stay in the island let it come near the sighing heart of my Emily That dear girl shall be happy if it be in my power to make her so Pray Ladies tell her she shall—No but dont I will tell her so myself by the next post Nor let it I pray God attack Lady Anne S or any of the halfscore Ladies of whom once I was so unwilling to hear
Our discourse at table was on various subjects My cousin James was again very inquisitive after the principal courts and places of note in Italy
What pleasure do I hope one day to receive from the perusal if I shall be favoured with it of Sir Charless LITERARY JOURNAL mentioned to Dr Bartlett in some of his Letters from Italy For it includes I presume a description of palaces cities cabinets of the curious diversions amusements customs of different nations How attentive were we all to the answers he made to my cousin Jamess questions My memory serves but for a few generals and those I will not trouble you with Sir Charles told my cousin that if he were determined on an excursion abroad he would furnish him with recommendatory Letters
Mr Greville and his insult were one of our subjects after dinner when the servants were withdrawn Lucy expressed her wonder that he was so soon reconciled to Sir Charles after the menaces he had for years past thrown out against any man who should be likely to succeed with me
My uncle observed that Mr Greville had not for a long time had any hopes that he always was apprehensive that if Sir Charles Grandison were to make his addresses he would succeed That it had been his and Fenwicks custom to endeavour to bluster away their competitors a He possibly my uncle added might hope to intimidate Sir Charles or at least knowing his principles might suppose he ran no risque in the attempt
Mr Deane said Mr Greville had told him that the moment he knew Miss Byron had chosen her man he would give up his pretensions but that as long as she remained single he was determined to persecute her as he himself called it Perseverance he had
known do everything after an admired woman had run through her circle of humble servants and perhaps found herself disappointed in her own choice and for his part but with her he had no fondness for the married life he cared not who knew it
Sir Charles spoke of Mr Greville with candour He thought him a man of rough manners but not illnatured He affected to be a joker and often therefore might be taken for a worse man than he really was He believed him to be careless of his reputation and one who seemed to think there were wit and bravery in advancing free and uncommon things and gloried in bold surprizes For my part continued he I should hardly have consented to cultivate his acquaintance much less to dine with him tomorrow but as he insisted upon it as a token of my for giving in him a behaviour that wa• really what a gentleman should not have pardoned himself for I considered him proceed Sir Charles as a neighbour to this family with whom you had lived and perhaps chose to live upon good terms Bad neighbours are nuisances especially if they are people of fortune It is in the power of such to be very troublesome in their own persons and they will often let loose their servants to defy provoke insult and do mischief to those they love not Mr Greville I thought added he deserved to be the more indulged for the sake of his Love to Miss Byron He is a proud man and must be mortified enough in having it generally known that she had constantly rejected his suit
Why thats true said my uncle Sir Charles you consider everybody But I hope alls over between you
I have no doubt but it is Mr Selby Mr Grevilles whole aim now seems to be to come off with as little abatement of his pride as possible He thinks if he can pass to the world as one who having no hope himself is desirous to pronounce the cause of his friend
as he will acknowledge me to be it will give him consequence in the eye of the world and be a gentle method of letting his pride down easy
Very well said my uncle and a very good contrivance for a proud man I think
It is an expedient of his friend Fenwick replied Sir Charles and Mr Greville is not a little fond of it And what Ladies and Gentlemen will you say if you should see me come to church tomorrow with him sit with him in the same pew and go with him to dinner in his coach It is his request that I will He thinks this will put an end to the whispers which have passed in spite of all his precaution of a rencounter between him and me For he has given out that he strained his wrist and arm by a fall from his horse Tell me dear Ladies shall I or shall I not oblige him in this request He is to be with me tonight for an answer
My grandmamma said that Mr Greville was always a very odd a very particular man She thought Sir Charles very kind to us in being so willing to conciliate with him My uncle declared that he was very desirous to live on good terms with all his neighbours particularly with Mr Greville a part of whose estate being intermixed with his it might be in his power to be vexations at least to his tenants Mr Deane thought the compromise was a happy one and he supposed entirely agreeable to Sir Charless generous wishes to promote the good understanding of neighbours and to the compassion it was in his nature to shew to an unsuccessful rival
Sir Charles then turning to Lucy May I Miss Selby said he do you think without being too deep a designer ask leave of Miss Byron on the presumption of her goodness to me to bring Mr Greville to drink tea with her tomorrow in the afternoon
Your servant Sir Charles answered Lucy smiling But what say you cousin Byron to this question
This house is not mine replied I but I dare say I may be allowed the liberty in the names of my uncle and aunt to answer that any person will be welcome to Selbyhouse whom Sir Charles Grandison shall think proper to bring with him
Mr Greville said Sir Charles professes himself unable to see any of you Miss Byron in particular without an introductor He makes a high compliment to me when he supposes me to be a proper one If you give me leave bowing to my uncle and aunt I will answer him to his wishes and hope when he comes everything will be passed by in silence that happened between him and me
Two or three lively things passed between Lucy and Sir Charles on his repetition of her word designer She began with advantage but did not hold it yet he gave her consequence in the little debate at his own expence
My grandmamma will go to her own church but will be here at dinner and the rest of the day I have a thousand things more to say all agreeable but it is now late and a drowsy fit has come upon me I will welcome it Adieu adieu my dear Ladies Felicitate I am sure you will
Your everobliged everdevoted HARRIETT BYRON
Sunday Noon Oct 15
WE were told there would be a crouded church this morning in expectation of seeing the new humble servant of Miss Byron attending her thither For it is everywhere known that Sir Charles Grandison is come down to make his addresses to the young creature who is happy in every ones love and good
wishes and all is now said to have been settled between him and us by his noble sister and Lord G and Dr Bartlett when they were with us—And we are to be married—O my dear Lady G you cannot imagine how soon You see what credit you did us by your kind visit my dear
Many of the neighbourhood seemed disappointed when they saw me led in by my uncle as Mr Deane led my aunt and Nancy and Lucy only attended by their brother But it was not long before Mr Greville Mr Fenwick and Sir Charles entered and went into the pew of the former, which is overagainst ours Mr Greville and Mr Fenwick bowed low to us severally the moment they went into the pew and to several others of the gentry
Sir Charles had first other devoirs to pay To false shame you have said he was always superior I was delighted to see the example he set He paid us his second compliments with a grace peculiar to himself I felt my face glow on the whispering that went round I thought I read in every eye admiration of him even through the sticks of some of the Ladies fans
What a difference was there between the two men and him in their behaviour throughout both the service and sermon Yet who ever beheld two of the three so decent so atttentive so reverent I may say before Were all who call themselves gentlemen thought I more than once like this the world would yet be a good world
Mr Greville had his arm in a sling He seemed highly delighted with his guest so did Mr Fenwick When the sermon was ended Mr Greville held the pewdoor ready opened to attend our movements and when we were in motion to go he taking officiously Sir Charless hand bent towards us Sir Charles met us at our pewdoor He approached us with that easy grace peculiar to himself and offered with a profound respect his hand to me
This was equal to a public declaration It took everybodys attention He is not ashamed to avow in public what he thinks fit to own in private
I was humbled more than exalted by the general notice Mr Greville bold yet low man made a motion as if he gave the hand that Sir Charles took Mr Fenwick offered his hand to Lucy Mr Greville led my aunt and not speaking low subtle as a serpent My plaguy horse said he looking at his sling knew not his master I invite myself to tea with you madam in the afternoon You will supply my lame arm I hope yourself
There is no such thing as keeping private ones movements in a countrytown if one would One of our servants reported the general approbation It is a pleasure surely my dear Ladies to be addressed to by a man of whom every one approves What a poor figure must she make who gives way to a courtship from a man whom everybody blames her for encouraging Such women indeed generally confess indirectly the solly by carrying on the affair clandestinely
Sunday Evening
O MY dear I have been strangely disconcerted by means of Mr Greville He is a strange man But I will lead to it in course
We all went to church again in the afternoon Everybody who knew Mr Greville took it for a high pie•e of politeness in him to his guest that he came twice the same day to church Sir Charles edified everybody by his chearful piety Are you not of opinion my dear Lady G that wickedness may be always put out of countenance by a person who has an established character for goodness and who is not ashamed of doing his duty in the public eye Methinks I could wish that all the prosligates in the parish had their seats around that of a man who has fortitude enough to dare to be good The text was a happy
one to this purpose The words of our Saviour
Whosoever shall be ashamed of me and of my words in this adulterous and sinful generation of him also shall the Son of Man be ashamed when he cometh in the glory of his Father with the holy Angels
Sir Charles conducted my aunt to her coach as Mr Greville officiously but properly for hi views did me We found Mr Fenwick at Selbyhouse talking to my grandmamma on the new subject She dined with us but not being very well chose to retire to her devotions in my closet while we went to church she having been at her own in the morning
We all received Mr Greville with civility He affects to be thought a wit you know and a great joker Some men cannot appear to advantage without making their friend a butt to shoot at Fenwick and he tried to play upon each other as usual Sir Charles lent each his smile and whatever he thought of them shewed not a contempt of their greatboy snipsnap But at last my grandmamma and aunt engaged Sir Charles in a conversation which made the gentlemen so silent and so attentive that had they not flashed a good deal at each other before one might have thought them a little discreet
Nobody took the least notice of what had passed between Mr Greville and Sir Charles till Mr Greville touched upon the subject to me He desired an audience of ten minutes as he said and upon his declaration that it was the last he would ever ask of me on the subject and upon my grandmammas saying Oblige Mr Greville my dear I permitted him to draw me to the window
His address was nearly in the following words not speaking so low but every one might hear him tho he said aloud Nobody must but me
I must account myself very unhappy madam in having never been able to incline you to shew me
favour You may think me vain I believe I am so But I may take to myself the advantages and qualities which everybody allows me I have an estate that will warrant my addresses to a woman of the first rank and it it is free and unincumbered I am not an illnatured man I love my jest tis true but I love my friend You good women generally do not like a man the less for having something to mend in him I could say a great deal more in my own behalf but that Sir Charles Grandison looking at him quite eclipses me Devil fetch me if I can tell how to think myself any thing before him I was always afraid of him But when I heard he was gone abroad in pursuit of a former Love I thought I had another chance for it
Yet I was halfafraid of Lord D His mother would manage a Machiavel He has a great estate a title he has good qualities for a nobleman But when I found that you could so steadily refuse him as well as me There must be some man thought I who is lord of her heart Fenwick is as sad a dog as I it cannot be he Orme poor soul she will not have such a milksop as that neither—
Mr Orme Sir interrupted I and was going to praise him—But he said I will be heard out now This is my dying speech I will not be interrupted
Well then Sir smiling come to your last words as soon as you can
I have told you before now Miss Byron that I will not bear your smiles But now smiles or frowns I care not I have no hopes left and I am resolved to abuse you before I have done
Abuse me I hope not Sir
Hope not What signify your hopes who never gave me any But hear me out I shall say some thing that will displease you but more of another nature I went on guessing who could be the happy man That second Orme Fowler cannot be he
thought I Is it the newlyarrived Beauchamp He is a pretty fellow enough I had all your footsteps watched as I told you I would No answered I myself she refused Lord D and a whole tribe of us before Beauchamp came to England—Who the devil can he be—But when I heard that the dangerous man whom I hadt hought gone abroad to his matrimonial destiny was returned unmarried when I heard that he was actually coming northward I began to be again afraid of him
Last Thursday night I had intelligence that he was seen at Dunstable in the morning in his way towards us Then did my heart fail me I had my spies about Selbyhouse I own it What will not Love and Jealousy make a man do I understood that your uncle and Mr Deane and a tribe of servants for trainsake were set out to meet him How I raved How I cursed How I swore—They will not surely thought I allow my rival at his first visit to take up his residence under the same roof with this charming Witch
Witch Mr Greville—
Witch Yes Witch I called you ten thousand names in my rage all as bad as that Here Jack Will Tom George get ready instantly each a dozen firebrands I will light up Selbyhouse for a bonfire to welcome the arrival of the invader of my freehold And prongs and pitchforks shall be got ready to push every soul of the family back into the flames that not one of it may escape my vengeance—
Horrid man I will hear no more
You must You shall It is my dying speech I tell you—
A dying man should be penitent
To what purpose—I can have no hope What is to be expected for or from a despairing man—But then I had intelligence brought me that my rival was not admitted to take up his abode with you This
saved Selbyhouse All my malice then was against the George at Northampton The keeper of it owes said I to myself a hundred thousand obligations to me yet to afford a retirement to my deadliest foe—But tis more manly thought I m person to call this invader to account▪ if he pretends an interest at Selbyhouse and to force him to relinquish his pretensions to the Queen of it as I had made more than one gallant fellow do before by dint of bluster
I slept not all that night In the morning I made my visit at the inn I pretend to know as well as any man what belongs to civility and good manners but I knew the character of the man I had to deal with I knew he was cool yet resolute My rage would not let me be civil and if it would I knew I must be rude to provoke him I was rude I was peremptory
Never was there such cold such phlegmatlc contempts passed upon man as he passed upon me I came to a point with him I heard he would not fight I was resolved he should I followed him to his chariot I got him to a private place but I had the devil and no man to deal with He cautioned me by way of insult as I took it to keep a guard I took his hint I had better not for he knew all the tricks of the weapon He was in with me in a moment I had no sword left me and my life was at the mercy of his He gave me up my own sword—Cautioned me to regard my safety—Put up his withdrew—I found myself sensible of a damnable strain I had no rightarm I slunk away like a thief He mounted his triumphal car and pursued his course to to the Lady of Selbyhouse I went home cursed swore fell down and bit the earth
My uncle looked impatient Sir Charles seemed in suspense but attentive Mr Greville proceeded
I got Fenwick to go with me to attend him at night by appointment Cripple as I was I would
have provoked him He would not be provoked And when I found that he had not exposed me at Selbyhouse when I remembered that I owed my sword and my life to his moderation when I recollected his character what he had done by Sir Hargrave Pollexfen what Bagenhall had told me of him Why the plague thought I should I hopeless as I am of succeeding with my charming Byron whether he lives or dies set my face against such a man He is incapable either of insult or arrogance Let me Fenwick advised a scheme let me make him my friend to save my pride and the devil take the rest Harriet Byron and all—
Wicked man—You was dying a thousand words ago—I am sick of you—
You have not madam heard half my dying words yet—But I would not terrify you—Are you terrified—
Indeed I am
Sir Charles motioned as if he would approach us but kept his place on my grandmammas saying Let us hear his humour out Mr Greville was always particular
Terrified madam What is your being terrified to the sleepless nights to the tormenting days you have given me Cursing darkness cursing light and most myself—O madam with shut teeth What a torment of torments have you been to me—Well but now I will hasten to a conclusion in mercy to you who however never shewed me any—
I never was cruel Mr Greville—
But you was and most cruel when most sweettempered It was to that smiling obligingness that I owed my ruin That gave me hope that radiance of countenance and that frozen heart—O you are a dear deceiver—But I hasten to conclude my dying speech—Give me your hand—I will have it—I will not eat it as once I had like to have done—
And now madam hear my parting words—You will
have the glory of giving to the best of men the best of wives Let it not be long before you do for the sake of many who will hope on till then As your Lover I must hate him As your Husband I will love him He will he must be kind affectionate grateful to you and you will deserve all his tenderness May you live the ornaments of human nature as you are to see your childrens children all promising to be as good as worthy as happy as yourselves And full of years full of honour in one hour may you be translated to that Heaven where only you can be more happy than you will be if you are both as happy as I wish and expect you to be
Tears dropt on my cheek at this unexpected blessing so like that of the wicked prophet of old blessing where he was expected to curse a
He still held my hand—I will not without your leave madam—May I before I part with it—He looked at me as if for leave to kiss my hand bowing his head upon it
My heart was opened God bless you Mr Greville as you have blessed me—Be a good man and he will—I withdrew not my hand
He kneeled on one knee eagerly kissed my hand more than once Tears were in his own eyes He arose hurried me to Sir Charles and holding to him my then through surprise halfwithdrawn hand—Let me have the pride the glory Sir Charles Grandison to quit this dear hand to yours It is only to yours that I would quit it—Happy happy happy pair—None but the brave deserves the fair—
Sir Charles took my hand—Let this precious present be mine said he kissing it mine with the declared assent of every one here and presented me to my grandmamma and aunt I was frighted by the hurry the strange man had put me into—
May I but live to see her yours Sir said my grandmamma in a kind of rapture
The moment he had put my hand into Sir Charless he ran out of the room with the utmost precipitation He was gone quite gone when he came to be enquired after and everybody was uneasy for him till we were told by one of the servants that he took from the window of the outward parlour his hat and sword and by anotehr that he met him his servant after him hurrying away and even sobbing as he flew—Was there ever so strange a man
Dont you pity Mr Greville my dear
Sir Charles was generously uneasy for him
Mr Greville said Lucy who had always charity for him has frequently surprised us with his particularities but I hope from the last part of his behaviour that he is not the freethinking man he sometimes affects to be thought I flatter myself that Sir Charles had a righter notion of him than we in what he said of him yesterday
Sir Charles waited on my grandmamma home so we had him not to supper We are all to dine with her tomorrow Your brother you may suppose will be a principal guest
Monday Morning Oct 16
I HAVE a Letter from my Emily by which I find she is with you tho she has not dated it You was very kind in shewing the dear girl the overflowings of my heart in her favour She is all grateful love and goodness I will soon write to her to repeat my assurances that my whole power shall always be exerted to do her pleasure But you must tell her as from yourself that she must have patience I cannot ask her guardian such a question as she puts as to her living with me till I am likely to succeed Would the sweet girl have me make a request to him that shall shew him I am supposing myself to be his before I am so We are not come so far on our journey
by several stages And yet from what he intimated last night as he waited on my grandmamma to Shirleymanor I find that his expectations are forwarder than it will be possible for me to answer And I must without intending the least affectation for common decorumsake take the management of this point upon myself For my dear we are every one of us here so much in Love with him that the moment he should declare his wishes they would be as ready to urge me t oblige him were he even to limit me but to two or three days as if they were afraid he would not repeat his request
I have a Letter from Mr Beauchamp He writes that there are no hopes of Sir Harrys recovery I am very sorry for it He does me great honour to write to me to give him consolation His is a charming Letter—So full of silial piety—Excellent young man He breathes in it the true spirit of his friend
Sir Charles and his Beauchamp and Dr Bartlett correspond I presume as usual What would I give to see all Sir Charles writes that relates to us
Mr Fenwick just now tells us that Mr Greville is not well and keeps his chamber He has my cordial wishes for his health His last behaviour to me appears the more I think of it more strange from such a man I expected not that he would conclude with such generous wishes Nancy who does not love him says that it was such an overstrain of generosity from him that it might well overset him Did you think that our meek Nancy could have said so severe a thing But meekness offended as she once was by him has an excellent memory and can be bitter
We are preparing now to go to Shirleymanor Our cousins Patty and Kitty Holles will be there at dinner They have been for a few weeks past at their aunts near Daventry They are impatient to see
Sir Charles Adieu my dearest Ladies Continue to love
Your HARRIET BYRON
Monday Night October 16
WE have been very happy this day at my grandmammas Your brother makes himself more and more beloved by all my friends who yet declare that they thought they could not have loved him better than they did before My cousin Holless say they could sooner lay open their hearts to him than to any man they ever saw yet their freedom would never make them lose sight of their respect
He told me that he had breakfasted with Mr Greville How does he conciliate the mind of every one to him He said kind and compassionate things of Mr Greville and so unaffectedly—I was delighted with him For regardful as he would be and is of his own honour no low narrow jealousy I dare say will ever have entrance into his heart Charity thinketh no evil Of what a charming text is that a part a—What is there equal to it in any of the writings of the philosophers
My dear Miss Byron said he to me Mr Greville loves you more than you can possibly imagine Despairing of success with you he has assumed airs of bravery but your name is written in large letters in his heart He gave me continued he the importance of asking my leave to love you still—What ought I to have answered—
What did you answer Sir
That so far as I might presume to give it I gave it
Had I the honour added I of calling Miss Byron mine I would not barely allow your love of her I would demand it—Have I not assured you Mr Greville that I look upon you as my friend
You will quite subdue Mr Greville Sir said I You will by the generosity of your treatment of him do more than anybody else ever could—You will make him a good man
Mr Greville madam deserves pity on more accounts than one A wife such a one as his good Angel led him to wish for would have settled his principles He wants steadiness But he is not I hope a bad man I was not concerned for his cavalier treatment of you yesterday but on your own account lest his roughness should give you pain But his concluding wishes and his preference of a rival to himself together with the manner of his departure unable as he was to withstand his own emotions and the effect it had upon his spirits so as to confine him to his chamber had something great in it—And I shall value him for it as long as he will permit me
Sir Charles and my grandmamma had a good deal of talk together Dearly does she love to single him out What a pretty picture would they make could they be both drawn so as not to cause a profane jester to fall into mistakes as if it were an old Lady makeing Love to a handsome young man
Let me sketch it out—See then the dear Lady with a countenance full of benignity years written by venerableness rather than by wrinkles in her face dignity and familiarity in her manner one hand on his talking to him His sine countenance shining with modesty and reverence looking down delighted as admiring her wisdom and not a little regardful of her halfpointing finger Let that be for fear of mistakes to a creature young enough to be her granddaughter who to avoid shewing too much sensibility shall seem to be talking to two other young Ladies
Nancy and Lucy suppose but in order to distinguish the young creature let her with a blushing cheek cast a fly eye on the grandmamma and young gentleman while the other two shall not be afraid to look more free and unconcerned
See my dear how fanciful I am But I had a mind to tell you in a new manner how my grandmamma and Sir Charles seem to admire each other
Mr Deane and he had also some talk together my uncle joined them And I blushed in earnest at the subject I only guessed at from the following words of Mr Deane at Sir Charless rising to come from them to my aunt and me who both of us sat in the bowwindow My dear Sir Charles Grandison said Mr Deane you love to give pleasure I never was so happy in my life as I am in view of this longwishedfor event You must oblige me I insist upon it
My aunt took it as I did—A generous contention▪ said she O my dear we shall all be too happy God grant that nothing may fall out to disconcert us If there should how many broken hearts—
The first broken one madam interrupted I would be the happiest I in that case should have the advantage of everybody
Dear love you are too serious Tears were in my eyes Sir Charless unquestionable honour is our security—If Clementina be stedfast if life and health be spared you and him—If—
Dear dear madam no more Ifs Let there be but one If and that on Lady Clementinas resumption In that case I will submit and God only as indeed He always ought shall be my reliance for the rest of my life
Lucy Nancy and my two cousin Holless came and spread two and two the other seats of the bowwindow there are but three with their vast hoops undoubtedly because they saw Sir Charles coming to
us It is difficult whispered I to my aunt petulantly enough to get him one moment to ones self My cousin James Silly youth thought I stopt him in his way to me but Sir Charles would not long be stopt He led the interrupter towards us and a seat not being at hand while the young Ladies were making a bustle to give him a place between them tossing their hoops above their shoulders on one side and my cousin James was hastening to bring him a chair he threw himself at the seet of my aunt and me making the floor his feat
I dont know how it was but I thought I never saw him look to more advantage His attitude and behaviour had such a Loverlike appearance—Dont you see him my dear—His amiable countenance so artless yet so obliging cast up to my aunt and me His fine eyes meeting ours mine particularly in their own way for I could not help looking down with a kind of proud bashfulness as Lucy told me afterwards How affected must I have appeared had I either turned my head aside or looked stiffly up to avoid his
I believe my dear we women in courtshp dont love that men if ever so wise should keep up to us the dignity of wisdom much less that they should be solemn formal grave—Yet are we fond of respect and observance too—How is it—Sir Charles Grandison can tell—Did you think of your brother Lady G when you once said that the man who would commend himself to the general favour of us young women should be a Rake in his address and a Saint in his heart Yet might you not have chosen a better word than Rake Are there not more clumsy and foolish Rakes than polite ones except we can be so mistaken as to give to impudence the name of agreeable freedom
Sir Charles sell immediately into the easiest shall I say the gallantest the most agreeable conversation as
if he must be all of a piece with the freedom of his attitude and mingled in his talk two or three very pretty humourous stories so that nobody thought of helping him again to a chair or wishing him in one
How did this little incident familiarize the amiable man as a still more amiable man than before to my heart In one of the little tales which was of a gentleman in Spain serenading his mistress we asked him if he could not remember a sonnet he spoke of as a pretty one He without answering sung it in a most agreeable manner and at Lucys request gave us the English of it
It is a very pretty sonnet I will ask him for a copy and send it to you who understand the language
My grandmamma on Sir Charless singing beckoned to my cousin James who going to her she whispered him He stept out and presently returned with a violin and struck up as he entered a minuettune Harriet my love▪ called out my grandmama Without any other intimation the most agreeable of men in an instant was on his feet reached his hat and took me out
How were we applauded How was my grandmamma delighted The words charming couple were whispered round but loud enough to be heard And when we had done he led me to my seat with an air that had all the real fine gentleman in it But then he sat not down as before—
I wonder if Lady Clementina ever danced with him
My aunt at Lucys whispered request proposed a dance between Sir Charles and her You Lady G observed more than once that Lucy dances finely Insulter 〈…〉 her when she had done you know 〈…〉 me—Harriet replied she 〈…〉 when they speak against 〈…〉
My 〈…〉 called upon me for on•〈◊〉 on 〈…〉 they made me sing
An admirable conversation followed at tea in which my grandmother aunt my Lucy and Sir Charles bore the chief parts every other person delighting to be silent
Had we not Lady G a charming day
In my next I shall have an opportunity perhaps to tell you what kind of a travelling companion Sir Charles is For be pleased to know that for some time past a change of air and a little excursion from place to place have been prescribed for the establishment of my health by one of the honestest physicians in England The day before Sir Charles came into these parts it was fixed that tomorrow we should set out upon this tour On his arrival we had thoughts of postponing it but having understood our intention he insisted upon its being prosecuted and offering his company there was no declining the favour you know early days as they however are And altho every body abroad talks of the occasion of his visit to us he has been so far from directing his servants to make a secret of it that he has ordered his Saunders to answer to every curious questioner that Sir Charles and I were of longer acquaintance than yesterday But is not this my dear a cogent intimation that Sir Charles thinks some parade some delay necessary Yet dont he and we know how little a while ago it is that he made his first declaration What my dear should he be solicitous for an early day is the inference My uncle too so forward that I am afraid of him
We are to set out tomorrow morning Peterborough is to be our furthest stage one way Mr Deane insists that we shall pass two or three days with him All of us but my grandmamma are to be of his party
O MY dear Lady G what a Letter is just brought me by the hand that carried up mine on Saturday
Bless me what an answer—This wicked wish—But I have not time to enter into so large a field Let me only say That for some parts I most heartily thank you and dear Lady L for others I do not and imagine Lady L would not have subscribed her beloved name had she read the whole What charming spirits have you my dear dear Lady G—But Adieu my everamiable Ladies both
HARRIET BYRON
Thrapston Tuesday Even October 17
WE passed several hours at Boughton a), and arrived here in the afternoon Mr Deane had insisted that we should put up at a nephews of his in the neighbourhood of this town The young gentleman met us at Oundle and conducted us to the house I have got such a habit of scribbling that I cannot forbear applying to my pen at every opportunity The less wonder when I have your brother for my subject and the two beloved sisters of that brother to write to
It would be almost impertinent to praise a man for his horsemanship who in his early youth was so noted for the performance of all his exercises that his Father and General W thought of the military life for him Ease and unaffected dignity distinguish him in all his accomplishments Bless me madam said Lucy to my aunt on more occasions than one this man is everything
Shall I own that I am retired to my pen just now from a very bad motive Anger I am in my heart even peevish with all my friends for clustering so about Sir Charles that he can hardly obtain a moment
which he seems to seek for too to talk with me alone My uncle He does dote upon him always inconsiderately stands in his way and can I say to a man so very inclinable to raillery that he should allow me more and himself less of Sir Charless conversation I wonder my aunt does not give my uncle a hint But she loves Sir Charless company as well as my uncle
This however, is nothing to the distress my uncle gave me at dinner this day Sir Charles was observing upon the disposition of one part of the gardens at Boughton That Art was to be but the handmaid of Nature—I have heard Sir Charle said my uncle that you have made that a rule with you at Grandisonhall With what pleasure should I make a visit there to you and my niece—
He stopt He needed not He might have said anything after this Sir Charles looked as if concerned for me yet said that would be a joyful visit to him My aunt was vexed for my sake Lucy gave my uncle such a look—
My uncle afterwards indeed apologized to me—Adsheart I was a little blunt I believe But what a duce need there be these niceties observed when you are sure—I am sorry however—But it would out—Yet you Harriet made it worse by looking so silly
WHAT Lady G can I do with this dear man My uncle I mean He has been just making a proposal to me as he calls it and with such honest looks of forecast and wisdom—Lookye Harriet—I shall be always blundering about your scrupulosities I am come to propose something to you that will put it out of my power to make mistake—I beg of you and your aunt to allow me to enter with Sir Charles into a certain subject and this not for your sake—I know you wont allow of that—But for the ease of Sir Charless own heart Gratitude is my motive and
ought to be yours I am sure he loves the very ground you tread upon
I besought him for every sake dear to himself not to interfere in the matter but to leave these subjects to my aunt and me—Consider Sir said I consider how very lately the first personal declaration was made
I do I will consider everything—But there is danger between the cup and the lip
Dear Sir my hands and eyes lifted up was all the answer I could make He went from me hastily muttering goodnaturedly against Femalities
Deanes Grove Wedn 27
MR DEANES pretty box you have seen Sir Charles is pleased with it We looked in at Fotheringaycastle a Milton b), c. Mr Charles Deane a very obliging and sensible young gentleman attended his uncle all the way
What charming descriptions of fine houses and curiosities abroad did Sir Charles give us when we stopt to bait or to view the pictures furniture gardens of the houses we saw
In every place on every occasion on the road or when we alighted or put up he shewed himself so considerate so gallant so courteous to allow who approached him and so charitable—Yet not indiscriminately to everybody that asked him But he was bountiful indeed on representation of the misery of two honest families Beggars born or those who make begging a trade if in health and not lame or blind have seldom it seems any share in his munisicence But persons fallen from competence and such as struggle with some instant distress or have large families which they have not ability to maintain these and such as these are the objects of his bounty Richard Saunders who is sometimes his almoner
told my Sally that he never goes out but somebody is the better for him and that his manner of bestowing his charity is such as together with the poor peoples blessings and prayers for him often draws tears from his eyes
I HAVE overheard a dialogue that has just now passed between my uncle and aunt There is but a thin partition between the room they were in and mine and he spoke loud my aunt now low yet earnest only not angry He had been proposing to her as he had done to me to enter into a certain subject in pity to Sir Charles None had he for his poor niece No doubt but he thought he was obliging me and that my objection was only owing to Femality as he calls it a word I dont like I never heard it from Sir Charles
My aunt was not at all pleased with his motion She wished as I had done that he would not interfere in these nice matters He took offence at the exclusion because of the word nice She said He was too precipitating a great deal She did not doubt but Sir Charles would be full early in letting me know his expectations
She spoke more decisively than she is used to do He cannot bear her chidings tho ever so gentle I need not tell you that he both loves and reveres her but as one of the lords of the creation is apt to be jealous of his prerogatives You used to be diverted with his honest particularities
What an ignoramus you women and girls make of me Dame Selby said he I know nothing of the world nor of men and women thats certain I am always to be documented by you and your minxes But the duce take your niceties You dont you cant poor souls as you are distinguish men You must all of you go on in one rigmyroll way in one beaten track Who the duce would have thought it
needful when a girl and we all were wishing till our very hearts were bursting for this man when he was not in his own power would think you must now come with your hums and your haws and the whole circumroundabouts of female nonsense to stave off the point your hearts and souls are set upon I remember Dame Selby tho so long ago how you treated your future Lord and Master when you prankd it as Lady and Mistress You vexed my very Soul I can tell you that And often and often when I left you I swore bitterly that I never would come again as a Lover—tho I was a poor forsworn wretch—God forgive me
My dear Mr Selby you should not remember past things You had very odd ways—I was afraid for a good while of venturing with you at all—
Now Dame Selby I have you at a whynot or I never had tho by the way your un evenness increased my oddness—But what oddness is in Sir Charles Grandison If he is not even neither you nor I were ever odd What reason is there for him to run the Female gauntlope I pity the excellent man remembering how I was formerly vexed myself—I hate this shillyshally fooling the know yourmind and not knowyourmind nonsense As I hope to live and breathe Ill Ill Ill blow you all up without gunpowder or oatmeal if an honest gentleman is thus to be fooled with and after such a Letter too from his friend Jeronymo in the names of the whole family Lady G for my money Ah thought I Lady G gives better advice than she even wishes to know how to take▪ I like her notion of parallel lines—Sir Charles Grandison is none of your gewgawwhipjacks that you know not where to have But I tell you Dame Selby that neither you nor your niece know how with your fine souls and fine sense to go out of the common semalitypath when you get a man into your gin however superior he is to common
infanglements and low chicanery and dull and cold forms as Sir Charles properly called them in his address to the little pugsface I do love her with all her pretty apes tricks For what are you all but right or wrong apes of one another?] And do you think with all your wisdom he sees not through you He does and as a wise man must despise you all with your femalities and forsooths—
No femality Mr Selby is designed—No—
I am impatient Dame Selby light of my eye and dear to my heart and soul as you are I will take my own way in this I have no mind that the two dearest creatures in the world to me should render themselves despisable in the eyes of a man they want to think highly of them And here if I put in and say but a wry word as you think it—I am to be called to account—
My dear did you not begin the subject said my aunt
I am to be closetted and to be documentized proceeded he—Not another word of your documentations Dame Selby I am not in a humour to bear them I will take my own way—And thats enough
And then I suppose he stuck his hands in his sides as he does when he is goodhumouredly angry and my aunt at such times gives up till a more convenient opportunity and then she always carries her point And why Because she is always reasonable for which he calls her a Parthian woman
I heard her say as he stalked out royally repeating that he would take his own way I say no more Mr Selby—Only consider—
Oy and let Harriet consider and do you consider Dame Selby Sir Charles Grandison is not a common man
I did not let my aunt know that I heard this speech of my uncle She only said to me when she saw me I have had a little debate with your uncle We must
do as well as we can with him my dear He means well
Thursday Morning October 19
AFTER breakfast first one then another dropt away and left only Sir Charles and me together Lucy was the last that went and the moment she was withdrawn while I was thinking to retire to dress he placed himself by me Think me not abrupt my dear Miss Byron said he that I take almost the only opportunity which has offered of entering upon a subject that is next my heart
I found my face glow I was silent
You have given me hope madam All your friends encourage that hope I love I revere your friends What I have now to petition for is A confirmation of the hope I have presumed upon CAN you madam the Female delicacy is more delicate than that of man can be unequally as you may think yourself circumstanced with a man who owns that once he could have devoted himself to another Lady CAN you say that the man before you is the man whom you CAN whom you DO prefer to any other
He stopt expecting my answer
After some hesitations I have been accustomed▪ Sir said I by those friends whom you so deservedly value to speak nothing but the simplest truth In an article of this moment I should be inexcusable if—
I stopt His eyes were fixed upon my face For my life I could not speak yet wished to be able to speak—
If If what madam and he snatched my hand bowed his face upon it held it there not looking up to mine I could then speak—If thus urged and by SIR CHARLES GRANDISON—I did not speak my heart—I answer—Sir—I CAN—I DO I wanted I thought just then to shrink into myself
He kissed my hand with fervour dropt down on
one knee again kissed it—You have laid me madam under everlasting obligation And will you permit me before I rise—loveliest of women will you permit me to beg an early day—I have many affairs on my hands many more in design now I am come as I hope to settle in my native country for the rest of my life My chief glory will be to behave commendably in the private life I wish not to be a public man and it must be a very particular call for the Service of my King and Country united that shall draw me out into public notice Make me madam soon the happy husband I hope to be I prescribe not to you the time But you are above empty forms May I presume to hope it will be before the end of a month to come
He had forgot himself He said he would not prescribe to me
After some involuntary hesitations—I am afraid of nothing so much just now Sir said I as appearing to a man of your honour and penetration affected Rise Sir I beseech you I cannot bear—
I will madam and rise as well as kneel to thank you when you have answered a question so very important to my happiness
Before I could resume Only believe me madam said he that my urgency is not the insolent urgency of one who imagines a Lady will receive as a compliment his impatience And if you have no scruple that you think of high importance add I beseech you to the obligation you have laid him under to your condescending goodness and add with that frankness of heart which has distinguished you in my eyes above all women the very high one of an early day
I looked down—I could not look up—I was afraid of being thought affected—Yet how could I so soon think of obliging him
He proceeded—You are silent madam—Propitious be your silence Allow me to enquire of your
aunt for your kind your condescending acquiescence I will not now urge you further I will be all hope
Let me say Sir that I must not be precipitated These are very early days
Much more was in my mind to say but I hesitated—I could not speak Surely my dear Ladies it was tootoo eary an urgency And can a woman be wholly unobservant of custom and the laws of her Sex—Something is due to fashion in dress however absurd that dress might have appeared in the last age as theirs do to us or may in the next And shall not those customs which have their foundation in modesty and are characteristic of the gentler Sex be intitled to excuse and more than excuse
He saw my confusion Let me not my dearest life distress you said he Beautiful as your emotion is I cannot enjoy it if it give you pain Yet is the question so important to me so much is my heart concerned in the favourable answer I hope for from your goodness that I must not let this opportunity slip except it be your pleasure that I attend your determination from Mrs Selbys mouth—Yet that I choose not neither because I presume for more favour from your own than you will on cold deliberation allow your aunt to shew me Love will plead for its faithful votary in a single breast when consultation on the supposed fit and unfit the object absent will produce delay But I will retire for two moments You shall be my prisoner mean time Not a soul shall come in to interrupt us unless it be at your call I will return and receive your determination and if that be the fixing of my happy day how will you rejoice me
While I was debating within myself whether I should be angry or pleased he returned and found me walking about the room—Soul of my hope said he taking with reverence my hand I now presume that you can that you will oblige me
You have given me no time Sir But let me request that you will not expect an answer in relation to the early day you so early ask for till after the receipt of your next Letters from Italy You see how the admirable Lady is urged how reluctantly she has given them but distant hopes of complying with their wishes I should be glad to wait for the next Letters for those at least which will be an answer to yours acquainting them that there is a woman with whom you think you could be happy I am earnest in this request Sir Think it not owing to affectation
I acquiesce madam The answer to those Letters will soon be here It will indeed be some time before I can receive a reply to that I wrote in answer to Jeronymos last Letter I impute not affectation to my dearest Miss Byron I can easily comprehend your motive It is a generous one But it besits me to say that the next Letters from Italy whatever may be their contents can now make no alteration on my part Have I not declared myself to your friends to you and to the world
Indeed Sir they may make an alteration on mine highly as I think of the honour Sir Charles Grandison does me by his good opinion For pardon me should the most excellent of women think of resuming a place in your heart—
Let me interrupt you madam—It cannot be that Lady Clementina proceeding as she has done on motives of piety zealous in her religion and all her relations now earnest in another mans favour can alter her mind I should not have acted with justice with gratitude to her had I not tried her stedfastness by every way I could devise Nor in justice to both Ladies would I allow myself to apply for your favour till I had her resolution confirmed to me under her own hand after my arrival in England But were it now possible that she should vary and were you madam
to hold your determination in my favour suspended the consequence would be this I should never while that suspence lasted be the husband of any woman on earth
I hope Sir you will not be displeased I did not think you would so soon be so very earnest But this Sir I say Let me have reason to think that my happiness will not be the misfortune of a more excellent woman and it shall be my endeavour to make the man happy who only can make me so
He clasped me in his arms with an ardor—that displeased me not—on reflexion—But at the time startled me He then thanked me again on one knee I held out the hand he held not in his with intent to raise him for I could not speak He received it as a token of favour kissed it with ardor arose again pressed my cheek with his lips I was too much surprised to repulse him with anger But was he not too free Am I a prude my dear In the odious sense of the abused word I am sure I am not But in the best sense as derived from prudence and used in opposition to a word that denotes a worse character I own myself one of those who would wish to restore it to its natural respectable signification for the sake of virtue which as Sir Charles himself once hinted a), is in danger of suffering by the abuse of it as Religion once did by that of the word Puritan
Sir Charles on my making towards the door that led to the stairs withdrew with such a grace as shewed he was capable of recollection
Again I ask was he not too free I will tell you how I judge that he was When I came to conclude my narrative to my aunt and Lucy of all that passed between him and me I blushed and could not tell them how free he was Yet you see Ladies that I can write it to you two
Sir Charles my uncle and Mr Deane took a
little walk and returned just as dinner was ready My uncle took me aside and whispered to me I am glad at my heart and soul the ice is broken This is the man of true spirit—Adsheart Harriet you will be Lady Grandison in a fortnight at furthest I hope You have had a charming confabulation I doubt not I can guess you have by Sir Charless declaring himself more and more delighted with you And he owns that he put the question to you—Hay Harriet—Smiling in my face
Every ones eyes were upon me Sir Charles I believe saw me look as if I were apprehensive of my uncles raillery He came up to us My dear Miss Byron said he in my uncles hearing I have owned to Mr Selby the request I presumed to make you I am afraid that he as well as you think me too bold and forward If you do madam I ask your pardon My hopes shall always be controuled by your pleasure
This made my uncle complaisant to me I was reassured I was pleased to be so seasonably relieved
Friday Morning October 20
YOU must not my dear Ladies expect me to be so very minute if I am must I not lose a hundred charming conversations One however I will give you a little particularly
Your brother desired leave to attend me in my dressingroom—But how can I attempt to describe his air his manner or repeat the thousand agreeable things he said Insensibly he fell into talking of future schemes in a way that punctillo itself could not be displeased with
He had been telling me that our dear Mr Deane having been affected by his last indisposition had desired my uncle my aunt and him to permit him to lay before them the state of this affairs and the kind things he intended to do by his own relations who
however were all in happy circumstances After which he insisted upon Sir Charless being his sole executor which he scrupled unless some other person were joined with him in the trust But Mr Deane being very earnest on this head Sir Charles said I hope I know my own heart My dear Mr Deane you must do as you please
After some other discourse I suppose said I the good man will not part with us till the beginning of next week
Whenever you leave him answered he it will be to his regret it may therefore as well be soon But I am sorry methinks that he who has qualities which endear him to every one should be so much alone as he is here I have a great desire when I can be so happy as to find myself a settled man to draw into my neighbourhood friends who will dignify it Mr Deane will I hope be often our visiter at the Hall The love he bears to his dear goddaughter will be his inducement and the air and soil being more dry and wholsome than this so near the fens may be a means to prolong his valuable life
Dr Bartlett continued he has already carried into execution some schemes which relate to my indigent neighbours and the lower class of my tenants How does that excellent man revere Miss Byron—My Beauchamp with our two sisters and their Lords will be often with us Your worthy cousin Reevess Lord W and his deserving Lady will also be our visiters and we theirs in turn The Mansfield family are already within a few miles of me And our Northamptonshire friends—Visiters and visited—What happiness do I propose to myself and the beloved of my heart—And if as you have generously wished the dear Clementina may be happy at least not unhappy and her brother Jeronymo recover what in this world can be wanting to crown our felicity
Tears of joy strayed down my cheek unperceived
by me till they fell upon his hand as it had mine in it He kissed them away I was abashed If my dear Miss Byron permit me to go on I have her advice to ask—I bowed my assent My heart throbbed with painful joy I could not speak
Will it not be too early madam to ask you about some matters of domestic concern The lease of the house in St Jamess Square is expired Some difficulties are made to renew it unless on terms which I think unreasonable I do not easily submit to imposition Is there any-thing that you particularly like in the situation of that house
Houses Sir nay Countries will be alike to me in the company of those I value
You are all goodness madam I will leave it to my sisters to enquire after another house I hope you will allow them to consult you as any one may offer I will write to the owner of my present house who is solicitous to know my determination and says he has a tenant ready if I relinquish it that it will be at his command in three months time When my dear Miss Byron shall bless me with her hand and our Northamptonshire friends will part with her if she pleases we will go directly to the Hall
I bowed and intended to look as one who thought herself obliged
Restrain check me madam whenever I seem to trespass on your goodness Yet how shall I forbear to wish you to hasten the day that shall make you wholly mine—You will the rather allow me to wish it as you will then be more than ever your own mistress tho you have always been generously left to a discretion that never was more deservedly trusted to Your will madam will ever comprehend mine
You leave me Sir only room to say that if gratiude can make me a merit with you that began with the first knowlege I had of you and it has been increasing ever since—I hope I never shall be ungratefull
Tears again strayed down my check Why did I weep
Delicate sensibility said he He clasped his arms about me—But instantly withdrew them as if recollecting himself—Pardon me madam Admiration will sometimes mingle with reverence I must express my gratitude as a man—May my happy day be not far distant that I may have no bound to my joy—He took my hand and again pressed it with his lips My heart madam said he is in your hand You cannot but treat it graciously
Just then came in my Nancy Why came she in with the general expectation of us to breakfast—Breakfast—What thought I is breakfast—The world my Charlotte—But hush—Withdraw fond heart from my pen Can the dearest friend allow for the acknowlegement of impulses so fervent and which writing to the moment as I may say the moment only can justify revealing
He led me downstairs and to my very seat with an air so noble yet so tender—My aunt my Lucy everybody—looked at me My eyes betrayed my hardlyconquered emotion
Sir Charless looks and behaviour were so respectful that every one addressed me as a person of increased consequence Do you think Lady G that Lord Gs and Lord Ls respectful behaviour to their wives do not as much credit to their own hearts as to their Ladies How happy are you that you have recollected yourself and now encourage not others by your example to make a jest of a husbands Love—Will you forgive me the recollection for the sake of the joy I have in the reformation—
I HAVE read this Letter just now to my aunt and Lucy all except this last saucy hint to you They clasped me each in their arms and said They admired him and were pleased with me Instruct me my dear Ladies how to behave in such a manner as
may shew my gratitude I had almost said my Love yet not go so very far as to leave the day the hour everything to his determination
But on reading to my aunt and Lucy what I had written I was ashamed to find that when he was enumerating the friends he hoped to have near him or about him I had forgot to remind him of my Emily Ungrateful Harriet—But dont tell her that I was so absorbed in Self and that the conversation was so interesting that my heart was more of a passive than an active machine at the time I will soon find or make an occasion to be her solicitress You once thought that Emily for her own sake should not live with us but her heart is set upon it Dear creature I love her I will sooth her I will take her to my bosom—I will by my sisterly compassion intitle myself to all her confidence She shall have all mine Nor shall her guardian suspect her—I will be as faithful to her secret as you and Lady L were thankfully I remember it to mine Dont you think my dear that if Lady Clementina I how to her merit whenever I name her to myself had had such a true such a soothing friend to whom she could have revealed the secret that oppressed her noble heart while her passion was young it would have been attended with such a deprivation of her reason as made unhappy all who had the honour of being related to her
O MY dear Lady G I am undone Emily is undone We are all undone—I am afraid so—My intolerable carelessness—I will run away from him I cannot look him in the face—But I am most most of all concerned for my Emily
Walking in the garden with Lucy I dropt the last sheet marked 6 this Letter a
I missed it not till my aunt this minute told me that Sir Charles crossing the walk which I had just
before quitted stooped and took up a paper Immediately my heart misgave me I took out my Letter I thought I had it all—But the fatal fatal sixth sheet is wanting That must be what he stooped for and took up What shall I do—Sweet Emily now will he never suffer you to live with him All my own heart laid open too—Such prattling also—I cannot look him in the face—How shall I do to get away to Shirleymanor and hide myself in the indulgent bosom of my grandmamma—What affectation after this will it be to refuse him his day—But he demands audience of me Could any-thing O the dear Emily have happened more mortifying to
Your HARRIET BYRON
Friday afternoon October 20
I WAS all confusion when he looking as unconscious as he used to do entred my dressingroom I turned my face from him He seemed surprised at my concern Miss Byron I hope is well Has anything disturbed you madam
My paper my paper You took it up—For the world I would not—The poor Emily—Give it me Give it me and I burst into tears—
Was there ever such a fool What business had I to name Emily
He took it out of his pocket I came to give it to you putting it into my hand I saw it was your writing madam I folded it up immediately It has not been unfolded since Not a single sentence did I permit myself to read
Are you sure Sir you have not read it nor any
Part of it—
Upon my honour I have not
I cleared up at once A blessed reward thought I for denying my own curiosity when pressed by my Charlotte to read a Letter clandestinely obtained
A thousand thousand thanks to you Sir for not giving way to your curiosity I should have been miserable perhaps for months had you read that paper
You now indeed raise my curiosity madam Perhaps your generosity will permit you to gratify it tho I should not have forgiven myself had I taken advantage of such an accident
I will tell you the contents of some parts of it Sir
Those which relate to my Emily if you please madam The poor Emily you said—You have ••amed me Perhaps I am not to be quite happy—What of poor Emily Has the girl been imprudent—Has she already—What of the poor Emily
And his face glowed with impatience
No harm Sir of Emily—Only a request of the dear girl What letter use could I have made of my fright Lady G But the manner of my mentioning it I would not for the world you should have seen
No harm you say—I was afraid by your concern for her—But can you love her as well as ever If you can Emily must still be good
I can I do
What then dear madam of poor Emily Why poor Emily—
I will tell you The dear girl makes it her request that I will procure of you one favour for her Her heart is set upon it
If Emily continue good she shall only signify her wish and I will comply If I am not a Father to her is she not fatherless
Allow me Sir to call you kind good humane
What I want of those qualities Miss Byron will
teach me by her example—But what would my Emily—
She would live with her guardian Sir—
With me madam—And with you madam—Tell me own to me madam And with you
That is her wish—
And does my beloved Miss Byron think it a right wish to be granted Will she be the instructing friend the examplary sister now in that time of the dear girls life when the eye rather than the judgment is usually the director of a young womans affections
I love the sweet Innocent I could wish her to be always with me
Obliging goodness Then is one of my cares over A young woman from Fourteen to Twenty is often a troublesome charge upon a Friendly heart I could not have asked this favour of you You rejoice me by mentioning it Shall I write a Letter in your name to Emily
There Sir is pen ink and paper
In your name madam
I bowed assent mistrusting nothing
He wrote and doubling down shewed me only these words—
My dear Miss Jervois I have obtained for you the desired favour—Will you not continue to be as good as you have hitherto been—That is all which is required of my Emily by her ever affectionate
—
I instantly wrote Harriet Byron—But Sir what have you doubled down
Charming confidence—What must he be who could attempt to abuse it—Read madam what you have signed—
I did How my heart throbbed—And could Sir Charles Grandison said I thus intend to deceive Could Sir Charles Grandison be such a plotter Thank God you are not a bad man
After the words I have obtained for you the desired favour followed these
You must be very good You must resolve to give me nothing but joy joy equal to the love I have for you and to the sacrifice I have made to oblige you Go down my love as soon as you can to Grandisonhall I shall then have one of the sisters of my heart there to receive me If you are there in less than a fortnight I will endeavour to be with you in a fortnight after I sacrifice at least another fortnights punctilio to oblige you And will you not continue to be as good as you have hitherto been That is all which is required of my Emily by c
Give me the paper Sir holding out my hand for it
Have I forfeited my character with you madam—holding it back with an air of respectful gaiety
I must consider Sir before I give you an answer
If I have why should I not send it away and as Miss Byron cannot deny her handwriting hope to receive the benefit of the supposed deceit Especially as it will answer so many good ends For instance your own wishes in Emilys favour as it will increase your own power of obliging and be a means of accelerating the happiness of a man whose principal joy will be in making you happy
Was it not a pretty piece of deceit Lady G Shall I own that my heart was more inclined to reward than punish him for it And really for a moment I thought of the impracticableness of complying with the request as if I was seriously pondering upon it and was sorry it was not practicable To get away from my dear Mr Deane thought I who will not be in haste to part with us some female bustlings to be got over on our return to Selbyhouse proposal renewed and a little paraded with Why Lady G did you tell me that our Sex is a foolish Sex the preparation the ceremony the awful ceremony the parting with the dearest and most indulgent
friends that ever young creaure was blessed with and to be at Grandisonhall all within one month—Was there ever so precipitating a man
I believe verily that I appeared to him as if I were considering of it for he took advantage of my silence and urged me to permit him to send away to Emily what he had written and offered to give reasons for his urgency Written as it is said he by me and signed by you how will the dear girl rejoice at the consent of both under our hands And will she not take the caution given her in it from me as kindly as she will your mediation in her favour
Sure Sir said I you expect not a serious answer—Upon his honour he did—How Sir Ought you not rather to be thankful if I forgive you for letting me see that Sir Charles Grandison was capable of such an artifice tho but in jest and for his reflection upon me and perhaps meant on our Sex as if decorum were but punctilio I beg my Lucys pardon added I for being halfangry with her when she called you a designer
My dearest creature said he I am a designer Who to accelerate a happiness on which that of his whole life depends would not be innocently so I am in this instance selfish But I glory in my selfishness because I am determined if power be lent me that every one within the circle of our acquaintance shall have reason to congratulate you as one of the happiest of women
Till this artifice Sir shewed me what you could do were you not a man of the strictest honour I had nothing but affiance in you Give me the paper Sir and for your own sake I will destroy it that it may not furnish me with an argument that there is not one man in the world who is to be implicitly confided in by a woman
Take it madam presenting it to me with his usual gracefulness destroy it not however till you have
exposed me as such a breach of confidence deserves to your aunt your Lucy—To your uncle Selby and Mr Deane if you please
Ah Sir you know your advantages I will not in this case refer to them I could sooner rely dearly as they love their Harriet on Sir Charles Grandisons justice than on their favour in any debate that should happen between him and me
There never madam except in the case before us can be room for a reference Your prudence and my gratitude must secure us both Even now impatient as I am to call you mine which makes me willing to lay hold of every opportunity to urge you for an early day I will endeavour to subdue that impatience and submit to your will Yet let me say that if I did not think your heart one of the most laudably unreserved yet truly delicate that woman ever boasted and your prudence equal you would not have found me so acquiescent a Lover early as you suppose my urgency for the happy day
And is it not early Sir Can Sir Charles Grandison think me punctilious—But you will permit me to write to Miss Jervois myself and acquaint her with her granted wish if—
If No if madam—Whatever you think right to be done in this case that do Emily will be more particularly your ward than mine if you condescend to take the trust upon you
You will be pleased dear Lady G to acquaint Emily with the grant of her wish She will rejoice God give the dear creature reason for joy and then I shall have double pleasure in having contributed to her obtaining of it But on second thoughts I will write to her myself for I allow not that she shall see or hear read everything I write to you Shall I own to you that my grandmamma and aunt and Lucy are of your mind They all three wish—But who can deny the dear Innocent the grant of a request on which she
has so long set her heart And would it not be pity methinks I hear the world say some time hence especially if any mishap God forbid it should befal her that Sir Charles Grandison the most honourable of men should so marry as that a young Lady of innocence and merit and mistress of a fortune which it might be foreseen would encourage the attempts of designing men could not have lived with his wife—Poor child—Then would the world have shaken its wise head allow the expression and well for me if it had judged so mildly of me
Our dear Mr Deane tho reluctantly has consented that we shall leave him on Monday next We shall set out directly for Selbyhouse where we propose to be the same night My aunt and I have been urgent with him to go back with us but he is cross and will be excused
Just now Lucy tells me that Mr Deane declared to my uncle aunt and her that he will not visit us at Selbyhouse till we send for him and the settlements together which he will have ready in a week—Strange expedition Sure they are afraid your brother will change his mind and are willing to put it out of the poor mans power to recede Lucy smiles at me and is sure she says that she may in confidence reveal all these matters to me without endangering my life My next Letter will be from Selbyhouse
While that life continues my dear Ladies look upon me as assuredly
Yours HARRIET BYRON
Monday Oct 23
GO on go on with your narratives my dear Hitherto Caroline and I know not how either
much to blame you or totally to acquit you of parade the man and his situation considered and the state of your heart for so many months past every one of your friends—consenting shall I say—more than consenting—ardent to be related to him Hark ye Harriet let me whisper you—My brother whether he come honestly or not by his knowlege I dare say thinks not so highly of the Freemasonry part of marriage as you do—You start O Charlotte you cry—And O Harriet too—But my dear girl let my brother see that you think and no woman in the world does if you dont that the true modesty after hearts are united is to think little of parade and much of the social happiness that awaits two worthy minds united by Love and conformity of sentiment—After all we are silly creatures Harriet We are afraid of wise men No wonder that we seldom choose them when a fool offers I wish I knew the man however who dare to say this in my hearing
Your grandmother Shirley is more than woman My brother prodigiously admires her I think you may trust to her judgment if you suppose him too precipitating Your aunt is an excellent woman But I never knew a woman or man who valued themselves on delicacy and found themselves consulted upon it but was apt to overdo the matter Is not this a little a very little Mrs Selbys case Let her know that I bid you ask this question of herself She must be assured that I equally love and honour her so wont be angry
Your uncle is an odd but a very honest Dunstable soul Tell him I say so but withal that he should leave women to act as women in these matters What a duce what a pize would he expect perfection from them He whose arguments always run in the depreciating strain If he would ask him Where should they have it conversing as they are obliged to do with men Men for their fathers for their brothers
for their uncles—They must be a little silly had they not a fund of silliness in themselves.—But I would not have them be most out in matters where they should be most in
I think however so does Lady L that so far as you have proceeded you are tolerable tho not half so clever as he considering situations Upon my word Harriet allowing for everything neither of Sir Charles Grandisons sisters expected that their brother would have made so ardent so polite a Lover He is so prudent a man and that once had like to have been one of your even your objections—Yet so nobly sincere—so manly O that my ape—But come Harriet as men go in this age of monkeys and Sir Foplings Lord G for all you is not to be despised I as a good wise ought will take his part whoever runs him down Where much is not given much andsoforth—
I have told Emily the good news I could not help it tho you promise to write to her
Poor thing she is all ecstasy she is not the only one who seeks as her greatest good what may possibly prove her greatest misfortune But for her sake for your sake and my brothers I hope under your directing eye and by prudent management the flame so young a little cold water will do and that if it will blaze it may be directed towards Beauchamps house
Let me whisper you again Harriet—Young girls finding themselves vested with new powers and a set of new inclinations turn their staring eyes out of themselves and the first man they see they imagine if he be a single man and but simpers at them they must receive him as a Lover Then they return downcast for ogle that he may ogle on without interruption They are soon brought to write answers to Letters which confess flames the writers heart never felt The girl doubts not her own gifts her own
consequence she wonders that her father mother and other friends never told her of these newfound excellencies She is more and more beautiful in her own eyes as he more and more flatters her If her parents are a verse the girl is per verse and the more the less discretion there is in her passion She adopts the word constancy she declaims against persecution she calls her idle flame LOVE which only was a Something she knew not what to make of—and like a wandering bee had it not settled on this flower would on the next were it either bitter or sweet
And this generally with the thoughtless is the beginning and progress of that formidable invader miscalled Love a word very happily at hand to help giddy creatures to talk with and look without confusion of face on a man telling them a thousand lyes and hoping perhaps by illaudable means to attain an end not in itself illaudable when duty and discretion are the one the guide the other the gentle restraint
But as to Emily—I depend on her principles as well as on your affectionate discretion when you will be pleased among ye to permit my brother to be actually yours for restraining her imagination There never beat in Female bosom an honester heart Poor thing she is but a girl And who is the woman or child that looks on my brother without love and reverence
For Emilys sake you see you must not have too many of your honest uncles circumroundabouts He makes us laugh I love to have him angry with his Dame Selby Dear Harriet when your hearts quite at case give us the courtship of the odd soul to the light of his eyes his oddness and her delicay A charming contrast You did help us to a little of it once a you know Theirs on the womans side could not be a match of Love at first But who so happy as they I am convinced Harriet that Love
on one side and discretion on the other is enough in conscience and in short much better than Love on both For what room can there be for discretion in the latter case The man is guilty of an heterodoxy in Love you know who is prudent or but suspected of being so—Ah Harriet Harriet once more I say we women are foolish creatures in our Loveaffairs and know not whats best for ourselves—In your stile—
Dont you think so Lucy
—Yet I admire Lucy—She got over an improperlyplaced Love and now her mad fit over We have all little or much of it begun as I told you how she is so cool so quiet so sedate—Yet once I make no doubt looking forward to her present happy quiescence would have thought it a state of insipidity Dearly do we love racketing and another whisper some of us to be racketed—But not you you are an exception Yes to be sure—But I believe youll think me mad
We like my brothers little trick upon you in the Billet he wrote and which you signed as if to Emily You see how earnest he is my dear I long for his next Letters from Italy I think that is a lucky plea enough for you if you suppose parade necessary
We have got Everard among us again The sorry fellow—O Harriet had you seen him with his hat upon his two thumbs bowing cringing blushing confounded when first he came into my royal presence—But I from my throne extended the golden sceptre to him as I knew I should please my brother by it He sat down when I bid him twisted his lips curdled his chin hemmd stole a look of reverence at me looked down when his eyes met mine mine bold as innocence his conscious as guilt hemmd again turned his hat about then with one of his not quiteforgotten airs of pertness putting it under his arm shook his ears tried to look up then his eye sunk again under my broader eye—O my dear—What a paltry creature is a man vicebitten and sensible of detected folly and obligation
Sir Charles has made a man of him once more His dress is as gay as ever and I dare say he struts as much in it as ever in company that knows not how he came by it He reformed—Bad habits are of the Jerusalem artichokekind once planted there is no getting them out of the ground
Our good Dr Bartlett is also with us at present He is in hopes of seeing my brother in town—
In town
Harriet—and the great affair unsolemnized—Woe be to you if—But lets see how you act when left to yourself Prudent people in others matters are not always prudent in their own especially in their Loveaffairs A little overnicety at setting out will carry them into a road they never intended to amble in and then they are sometimes obliged to the less prudent to put them in the path they set out from Remember my dear I am at hand if you bewilder yourself
Dr Bartlett tells us that my brother has extricated this poor creature from his entanglements with his woman by his interposition only by Letter Some money I suppose The Doctor desires to be silent on the means but hints however that Everard will soon be in circumstances not unhappy
I HAVE got the Doctor to explain himself Every day produces some new instances of womens follies What would poor battered rakes and younger brothers do when on their last legs were it not for goodnatured widows—Ay and sometimes for forward maids This wretch it seems has acquitted himself so handsomely in the discharge of the 100l which he owed to his winemerchants relict and the Lady was so full of acknowlegements and obligations and all that for being paid but her due that he has ventured to make addresses to her Love as it is called and is well received He behaves with more spirit before her I suppose than he does before me
The widow had a plain diligent honest man before She has what is called taste forsooth or believes she has She thinks Mr Grandison a finer gentleman than him who left her in a condition to be thougbt worthy of the address of a gayer man She prides herself it seems in the relation that her marriage will give her to a man of Sir Charles Grandisons character Much worse reasons will have weight when a woman finds herself inclined to change her condition But Everard is very earnest that my brother should know nothing of the matter till all is over So you as I have this piece of news in confidence Lady L has not been told it His cousin he says who refused him his interest with Miss Mansfield Lady Ws sister because he thought a further time of probation with regard to his avowed good resolutions necessary would perhaps for the widows sake if applied to put a spoke in his wheel
Everard I can hardly allow myself to call him Grandison avows a vehement passion for the widow She is rich—When they are set out together in taste as she calls it trade or business her first rise quite forgot what a gay what a frolick dance will she and her new husband in a little while lead up on the grave of her poor plain despised one
Tis well tis well my dear Harriet that I have a multitude of faults myself Witness to go no further back this Letter or I should despise nine parts of the world out of ten
I find that Sir Charles and Beauchamp and Dr Bartlett correspond Light is hardly more active than my brother nor lightning more quick when he has any-thing to execute that must or ought to be done I believe I told you early that was a part of his character You must not then wonder or be offended Shall I use the word offended my dear that you in your turn now he has found himself at liberty to address you should be affected by his adroitness
and vivacity in your Femalities as uncle Selby calls them Aptly enough I think tho I do not love that men should be so impudent as either to find us out or abuse us You cannot always were you to think him too precipitating separate bad qualities from good in the same person since perhaps the one is the constitutional occasion of the other Could he for example, be half so useful a friend as he is if he were to dream over a Loveaffair as you would seem to have him in other words, gape over his ripened fruit till it dropt into his yawyawyawning mouth Hell certainly get you Harriet within or near his proposed time Look about you Hell have you before you know where you are By book as the saying is will he pull you to him struggle as you will he has already got hold of you or by crook inviting nay compelling you by his generosity gentle shepherdlike to nymph as gentle What you do therefore do with such a grace as may preserve to you the appearance of having it in your power to lay an obligation upon him It is the opinion of both his sisters that he values you more for your noble expansion of heart and not ignorant but generous frankness of manners yet mingled with dignity than for—even—your Beauty Harriet—Whether you who are in such full possession of every grace of person care as a woman to hear of that or not His gay parterre similitude you remember my dear It is my firm belief that those are the greatest admirers of fine flowers who love to see them in their borders and seldomest pluck the fading fragrance The other wretches crop put them in their bosoms and in an hour or two rose carnation or whatever after one parting smell throw them away
He is very busy whereever he is At his inn I suppose most But he boasts not to you or anybody of what he does
He writes nowandthen a Letter to aunt Nell and
she is so proud of the favour—Look you here niece Look you here—But I shant shew you all he writes—On go the spectacles—for she will not for the world part with the Letter out of her hands—She reads one paragraph one sentence then another—On and off go the spectacles while she conjectures explains animadverts applauds and so goes on till she leaves not a line unread Then folding it up carefully in its cover puts it in her Letter or Ribbandcase which shall I call it For having but few Letters to put in it the case is filled with bits and ends of ribbands patterns andsoforth of all manner of colours faded and fresh with intermingledoms of goldbeaters skin plaisters for a cut finger for a chopt lip a kibe perhaps for corns which she dispenses occasionally very bountifully and values herself as we see at such times by a double chin made triple for being not unuseful in her generation Chide me if you will the humours upon me hang me if I care You are only Harriet Byron as yet Change your name and increase your consequence
I have written a long Letter already and to what end Only to expose myself say you True enough But now Harriet to bribe you into passing a milder censure let me tell you all I can pick up from the Doctor relating to my brothers matters Bribe shall I call this or gratitude for your free communications
Matters between the Mansfields and the Keelings are brought very forward Hang particulars Nobodys affairs lie near my heart but yours The two families have already begun to visit When my brother returns all the gentry in the neighbourhood are to be invited to rejoice with the parties on the occasion
Be so kind my dear as to dismiss the good man as soon as your punctilio will admit We are contented that while he lays himself out so much in the
service of others he should do something for himself You my dear we look upon as a high reward for his many great and good actions But as he is a man who has a deep sense of favours granted and values not the blessing the more when it ought to be within his reach because it is dear as is the case of the sorry fellows in general I would have you consider of it—thats all
The Doctor tells me also that the wicked Boltons ward is dead and that everything is included to Sir Charless satisfaction with him and the Mansfields reinstated in all their rights are once more a happy family
Sir Hargrave is in a lamentable way Dr Bartlett has great compassion for him Would you have me pity him Harriet—You would you say—Well then Ill try for it As it was by his means you and we and my brother came acquainted I think I may He is to be brought to town
Poor Sir Harry Beauchamp He is past recovery Had the physicians given him over when they first undertook him he might they say have had a chance for it
I told you that Emilys mother was turned Methodist She has converted her husband A strange alteration But it is natural for such sort of people to pass from one extreme to another Emily every nowandthen visits them They are ready to worship her for her duty and goodness She is a lovely girl She every day improves in her person as well as in her mind She is sometimes with me sometimes with Lady L sometimes with aunt Eleanor sometimes with your Mrs Reeves—We are ready to fight for her But you will soon rob all of us She is preparing for her journey to you Poor girl I pity her Such a conflict in her mind between her love of you and tenderness for her guardian Her Anne has confessed to me that she weeps one half of the night
yet forces herself to be lively in company—After the example of Miss Byron she says when she visited you at Selby house I hope my dear all will be right But to go to live with a beloved object—I dont understand it You Harriet may I never was in Love God help me
I am afraid the dear girl does too much for her mother As they have so handsome an annuity 400 l a year so much beyond their expectation I think she should not give nor should they receive any-thing considerable of her without her guardians knowlege She is laying out a great deal of money in new cloaths to do you and her guardian credit—on your nuptials poor thing she says with tears in her eyes—but whether of joy or sensibility it is hard to decide but I believe of both
What makes me imagine she does more than she should is that a week ago she borrowed fifty guineas of me and but yesterday came to me—I should do a very wrong thing said she blushing up to the ears should I ask Lady L to lend me a sum of money till my next quarter comes due after I made myself your debtor so lately But if you could lend me thirty or forty guineas more you would do me a great favour
My dear said I and stared at her
Dont question dont chide me this one time I never will run in debt again I hate to be in debt But you have bid me tell you all my wants
I will not my love say another word I will fetch you fifty guineas more
More my dear Lady G that is a pretty rub But I will always for the future be within bounds And dont let my guardian know it—He would kill me by his generosity yet perhaps in his own heart wonder what I did with my money If he thought ill of me or that I was extravagant it would break my heart
Only my dear said I remember that 400 l a
year—Mrs OHara cannot want any-thing to be done for her now
Dont call her Mrs OHara She is very good Call her my mother
I kissed the sweet girl and fetched her the other fifty guineas
I thought it not amiss to give you this hint my dear against she goes down to you But do you think it right after all to have her with my brother and you
Lady L keeps close—She fasts cries prays is vastly apprehensive She makes me uneasy for her and myself These vile men I believe I shall hate them all Did they partake—But not half so grateful as the blackbirds They rather look big with insolence than perch near and sing a song to confort the poor souls they have so dreadfully mortified Other birds as I have observed sparrows in particular sit hour and hour hes and shes in turn and I have seen the hen when her rogue has staid too long rattle at him while he circles about her with sweeping wings and displayed plumage his head and breast of various dyes ardently shining peep peep peep as much as to say I beg your pardon love—I was forced to go a great way off for my dinner—Sirrah I have thought she has said in an unforgiving accent—Do your duty now—Sit close—Peep peep peep—I will I will I will—Away has she skimmed and returned to relieve him—when she thought fit
Dont Laugh at us Harriet in our mortified state Begone wretch—What have I done madam stareing What have you done—My sorry fellow came in wheedling courting just as I was pitying two meek sisters Was it not enough to vex one Dont laugh at us I say—If you do—May my brother all in good time avenge us on you prays in malice
CHARLOTTE G
Wedn Evening Oct 25
FIE upon you Lady G What a Letter have you written There is no separating the good from the bad in it With what dangerous talents are you entrusted and what use do you make of them I have written two long Letters continuing my narrative of our proceedings but I must take you to severe task for this before me and this and they shall go together
Wicked wit What a foe art thou to decent chearfulness—In a womans hand such a weapon What might we not expect from it were it in a mans How you justify the very creatures of that Sex whom you would be thought to despise
But you say you would not allow in a man the liberties you yourself take with your own Sex How can you my dear be so partial to your faults yet own them to be such Would you rank with the worst of sinners They do just so
I may be a fool I may be inconsistent I may not know how with a grace to give effect to my own wishes I may be able to advise better than act—Most pragmatical creatures think they can be counsellors in anothers case while their own affairs as my uncle would say lie at sixes and sevens But how does this excuse your freedoms with your whole Sex—With the Innocents of it more particularly
Let me say my dear that you take odious yes odious liberties I wont recal the word Liberties which I cannot tho to shame you repeat Fie upon you Charlotte
And yet you say that neither you nor Lady L know how to blame me much tho the man considered
you will not totally acquit me of parade and in another place that so far as we have proceeded we have behaved tolerably Why then all this riot—yes riot Charlotte against us and against our Sex What but for riots sake
The humour upon you
—The humour is upon you with a witness
Hang you if you care
—But my dear it would be more to your credit if you did care and if you checked the wicked humour—Do you think nobody but you has such talents Fain would I lower you since as it is evident, you take pride in your licence—Forgive me my dear—Yet I will not say all I think of your wicked wit Think you that there are not many who could be as smart as surprising as you were they to indulge a vein of what you call humour Do you think your brother is not one Would not he be too hard for you at your own weapons Has he not convinced you that he could But he a man can check the overflowing freedom
But if I have set out wrong with your brother I will do my endeavour to recover my path You greatly oblige me with your conducting hand But what necessity was there for you to lead me through briars and thorns and to plunge me into two or three dirty puddles in order to put me into the right path when it lay before you in a direct line without going a bowshot about
Be pleased however to consider situation on my side as well as on your brothers I might be a little excusable for my aukwardness perhaps were it considered that the notion of a double or divided Love on the mans part came often into my head indeed could not be long out the Lady so superlatively excellent his affection for her so allowably as well as avowedly strong Was it possible to avoid little jealousies little petulancies when slights were imaginable The more for the excellency of the man
the more for my past weakness of so many months I pretend not my dearest Charlotte to be got above nature I know I am a weak silly girl I am humbled in the sense I have of his and Clementinas superior merits True Love will ever make a person think manly of himself in proportion as she thinks highly of the object. Pride will be up sometimes but in the pull two ways between that and mortification a torn coat will be the consequence And must not the tatterdemallion What a new language will my uncle teach me then look simply
You bid me ask my aunt—You bid me tell my uncle—Naughty Charlotte I will ask I will tell them nothing Pray write me a Letter next that I can read to them I skipt this passage—Read that—um—um—um—Then skipt again—Heyday Whats come to the girl cried my uncle Can Lady G write what Harriet cannot read There was a rebuke for you Charlotte For the love of God let me read it—He bustled laughed shook his shoulders rubbed his hands at the imagination—Some pretty roguery I warrant Dearly do I love Lady G If you love me Harriet let me read and once he snatched one of the sheets I boldly struggled with him for it—For shame Mr Selby said my aunt My dear said my grandmother if your uncle is so impetuous you must shew him no more of your Letters
He then gave it up—Consider Charlotte what a fine piece of work we should have had with my uncle had he read it through
But let me see—What are the parts of this wicked Letter for which I can sincerely thank you—O my dear I cannot cannot without soiling my fingers pick them out—Your intelligences however are among those which I hold for favours
Poor Emily that is a subject which delights yet saddens me—We are laudably fond of distinguishing
merit But your brothers is so dazling—Every woman is ones rival But no more of my Emily Dear creature the subject pains me—Yet I cannot quit it—You ask If after all I think it right that she should live with me—What can I say For her sake perhaps it will not Yet how is her heart set upon it For my own sake as there is no perfect happiness to be expected in this life I could be content to bear a little pain were that dear girl to be either benefited or pleasured by it Indeed I love her at my heart—And what is more—I love myself for so sincerely loving her
In the wicked part of your Letter what you write of your aunt Eleanor—But I have no patience with you sinner as you are against light and better knowlege and derider of the infirmities not of old maids but of old age—Dont you hope to live long yourself That worthy Lady wears not spectacles Charlette because she never was so happy as to be married Wicked Charlotte to owe such obligation to the generosity of good Lord G for taking pity of you in time Were you Four or Fiveandtwenty when he honoured you with his hand at St Georges church and yet to treat him as you do in more places than one in this very Letter
But I will tell you what I will do with this same strange Letter—I will transcribe all the good things in it There are many which both delight and instruct and some morning before I dress for the day I will Sad task Charlotte But it shall be by way of penance for some of my faults and sollies transcribe the intolerable passages so make two Letters of it One I will keep to shew my friends here in order to increase if it be possible their admiration of my Charlotte the bad one I will present to you I know I shall transcribe it in a violent hurry—Not much matter whether it be legible or not—The hobbling it will cause in the reading will make it appear
worse to you than if you could read it as glibly as you write If half of it be illegible enough will be lest to make you blush for the whole and wonder what sort of a pen it was that somebody unknown to you put into your standish
After all spare me not my everdear my evercharming friend spare only your self Dont let Charlotte run away from both Gs You will then be always equally sure of my admiration and love For dearly do I love you with all your faults so dearly that when I consider your faults by themselves I am ready to arraign my heart and to think there is more of the roguery of my Charlotte in it than I will allow of
One punishment to you I intend my dear—In all my future Letters I will write as if I had never seen this your naughty one Indeed I am in a kind of way faulty or not that I cannot get out of all at once but as soon as I can I will that I may better justify my displeasure at some parts of your Letter by the observance I will pay to others That is a sweet sentence of my Charlottes
Change your name and increase your consequence
Reflect my dear—How naughty must you have been that such a charming instance of goodness could not bribe to spare you
Your everaffectionate and grateful HARRIET BYRON
Selbyhouse Tuesday Morning Oct 24
MR Deane would not go back with us He laid a strict charge upon me at parting not to be punctilious
I am not my dear Lady G Do you think I am The men are their own enemies if they wish us to
be openhearted and sincere and are not so themselves Let them enable us to depend on their candour as much as we may on that of Sir Charles Grandison and the women will be inexcusable who shall play either the prude or coquet with them You will say I am very cunning perhaps to form at the same time a rule from and an excuse for my own conduct to this excellent man But be that as it will it is truth
We sent our duty last night to Shirleymanor and expect every moment the dear parent there with us
She is come I will go down and if I get her by myself or only with my aunt and Lucy I will tell her a thousand thousand agreeable things which have passed since last I had her tender blessing
WE have had this Greville and this Fenwick here I could very well have spared them Miss Orme came hither also uninvited to breakfast a favour she often does us I knew not at first how to behave to Sir Charles before her She looked so jealous of him so cold Under her bent brow she looked at him Yes and No were all her answers with an air so stiff—But this reserve lasted not above a quarter of an hour Sir Charles addressed himself to me with so much respect to her with so polite a freedom that she could not hold her shyness
Her brow cleared up her eyes looked larger and more free Her buttonedup pretty mouth opened to a smile She answered she asked questions gave her required opinion on more topics than one and was again all Miss Orme
Everybody took great notice of Sir Charless fine address to her and were charmed with him for we all esteem Mr Orme and love his sister How pleasant it was to see the sunshine break out in her amiable countenance and the gloom vanishing by degrees
She took me out into the lesser parlour—What a strange variable creature am I said she How I hated this Sir Charles Grandison before I saw him I was vexed to find him at first sight answer what I had heard of him for I was resolved to dislike him tho he had been an angel But ah my poor brother—I am afraid I myself shall be ready to give up his interest—No wonder my dear Miss Byron that nobody else would do when you had seen this man—But still let me bespeak your pity for my brother—Would to Heaven you had not gone to London—What went you thither for
Sir Charles kindly enquired of her after Mr Ormes health praised him for his character wished his recovery and to be allowed to cultivate the friendship of so worthy a man And all this with an air so sincere—But good men must love one another.
SIR Charles has just now declared to my aunt that he thinks of going up to town or to Grandisonhall I forget if they told me which tomorrow or next day Perhaps he knows not to which himself I was surprised Perhaps he is tired with us Let me recollect—Thursday was Sennight Why indeed he has been down with us twelve days—No less
But he has no doubts no suspences frum us to keep Love awake His path is plain and smooth before him He has demanded his day We think we cannot immediately and after so short a time past since his declaring himself give it him—And why should he lose his precious time among us I suppose he will be so good as to hold himself in readiness to obey our summons—He expects a summons from us perhaps—
O my dear Lady G am I not perverse I believe I am Yet where there is room from past circumstances to dread a slight tho none may be intended and truly as I honour and revere Lady Clementina my mind is not always great enough perhaps from consciousness
of demerit to carry itself above apprehension and petulance noble as is the man
My uncle is a little down upon it and why Because truly my grandmamma has told him that it is really too early yet to fix the day and he reverences as every body does her judgment
But why he asks cannot there be preparation making Why may not something be seen going forward
What before the day is named my aunt asks—As Harriet had desired to have his next Letters arrive before she directly answered his question she could not recede
He went from them both greatly dissatisfied and exclaiming against womens love of power and never knowing how to make a right use of it
A message from Sir Charles He desires to attend me I believe I shall be a little sullen I know my heart It is all his own and I am loth to disoblige him—But he was far far more attendant on Lady Clementinas motions Dont you think so Lady G But she was all excellence—Well—But hush—I say no more—
I WILL give you an account of our conversation I verily believe that had he not touched the poor snail with too hasty a singer which made her shrink in again into her shell I might have been brought to name the week tho not the day
But I will not anticipate
He entered with a very polite and affectionate air He enquired after my health and said I looked not well—Only vexed thought I
It is impossible I believe to hold displeasure in the presence of a beloved object with whom we are not mortally offended My dearest Miss Byron said he taking my passive hand I am come to ask your advice on twenty subjects In the first place here is a Letter
from Lady G recommending to me a house near her own He gave it to me I read it Should you madam approve of Grosvenor Square
I was silent You will guess how my captious folly appeared to him by what he said to me He respectfully took my hand—Why so solemn dear madam Why so silent Has any-thing disturbed you Some little displeasure seems to hang upon that open countenance Not at me I hope
Yes it is thought I But I did not intend you should see it—I cleared up and without answering his question said It is in the neighbourhood of Lady L I hope
Thank you madam for that hope—It is Nor far from your cousin Reevess
I can have no objection Sir
I will refer myself on this sublect if you please to my sisters and Lord G He values himself on his taste in houses and furniture and will be delighted to be put into commission with my sisters on this occasion Or shall I stay till the happy day is over and leave the choice wholly to yourself
Lady G Sir seems pleased with the house She writes that there is somebody else about it It may not then be to be had
Shall I then commission her to take it directly
What you please Sir
He bowed to me and said Then that matter is settled And now madam let me own all my arts You would penetrate into them if I did not You see that the great question is never out of my view—I cannot but hope and believe that you are above regarding mere punctilio—Have you my dearest Miss Byron thought can you think of some early weak in which to fix my happy day—Some preparation on your part I presume will be thought necessary As to mine were you to bless me with your hand next week I should be aforehand in that particular
I was silent I was considering how to find some middle way that should make noncompliance appear neither disobliging nor affected
He looked up at me with Love and Tenderness in his aspect but having no answer proceeded
Your uncle madam and Mr Deane will inform you that the settlements are such as cannot be disapproved of I expect every day some slight tokens of my affection for my dear Miss Byron which will be adorned by the lovely wearer I have not been so extravagant in them as shall make her think I build on toys for her approbation She will allow me to give her my notions on this subject In the article of personal appearance I think that propriety and degree should be consulted as well as fortune Our degree our fortune madam is not mean but I who always wished for the revival of Sumptuary Laws have not sought in this article to emulate Princes In my own dress I am generally a conformist to the fashion Singularity is usually the indication of something wrong in judgment I rather perhaps dress too shewy tho a young man for one who builds nothing on outward appearance But my father loved to be dressed In matters which regard not morals I choose to appear to his friends and tenants as not doing discredit to his magnificent spirit a I could not think it becoming as those perhaps do who have the direction of the royal stamp on the coin to set my face the contrary way to that of my predecessor In a word all my fathers steps in which I could tread I did and have chosen rather to build upon than demolish his foundations—But how does my vanity mislead me I have vanity madam I have pride and some consequential failings which I cannot always get above But
anxious as I ever shall be for your approbation my whole heart shall be open to you and every motive every spring of action so far as I can trace it be it to my advantage or not shall be made known to you Happy the day that I became acquainted with Dr Bartlett He will tell you madam that I am corrigible You must perfect by your sweet conversation un coupled with fear what Dr Bartlett has so happily begun and I shall then be more worthy of you than at present I am
O Sir you do me too much honour You must be my monitor As to the ornaments you speak of I hope I shall always look upon simplicity of manners a grateful return to the man I shall vow to honour and a worthy behaviour to all around me as my principal ornaments
His eyes glistened He bowed his face upon my hand to hide as I thought his emotion Excellent Miss Byron said he Then after a pause Now let me say that I have the happiness to find my humble application to you acceptable to every one of your friends The only woman on earth whom besides yourself I ever could have wished to call mine and all her evertobe respected family pleading their own sakes join their wishes in my favour and were you to desire it would I am sure signify as much to you under their own hands I know not whether I could so far have overcome my own scruples in behalf of your delicay placing myself as persons always ought when they hope for favour in the granters place as to supplicate you so soon as I have done but at the earnest request of a family and for the sake of a Lady I must ever hold dear The world about you expects a speedy celebration I have not I own been backward to encourage the expectation It was impossible to conceal from it the motive of my coming down as my abode was at an inn I came with an equipage because my pride How great is my pride permitted
me not to own that I doubted Have you madam a material objection to an early day Be so good to inform me if you have I wish to remove every shadow of doubt from your heart
I was silent He proceeded
Let me not pain you madam—lifting my hand to his lips—I would not pain you for the world You have seen the unhappy Olivia You have perhaps heard her story from herself What must be the cause upon which self partiality cannot put a gloss Because I knew not how It was shocking to my nature to repulse a Lady she took my pity for encouragement Pity from a Lady of a man is noble—The declaration of pity from a man for a woman may be thought a vanity bordering upon insult Of such a nature is not mine—She has some noble qualities—from my heart for her characters sake I pity Olivia and the more for that violence of temper which she never was taught to restrain If madam you have any scruples on her account own them I will for I honestly can remove them
O Sir None None—Not the least on that unhappy Ladys account—
Let me say proceeded he that Olivia reveres you and wish•s you I hope cordially for she is afraid still of your sisterexcellence to be mine Give me leave to boast It is my boast that tho I have had pain from individuals of your Sex I can look back on my past life and bless God that I never from childhood to manhood WILFULLY gave pain either to the MOTHERLY or SISTERLY heart a nor from manhood to the present hour to any other woman
O Sir Sir—What is it you call pain if at this instant and I said it with tears that which your goodness makes me feel is not so—The dear the excellent Clementina What a perverseness is in her fate She and she only could have deserved you
He bent his knee to the greatlyhonoured Harriet—I acknowlege with transport said he the joy you give me by your magnanimity such a more than sisterly magnanimity to that of Clementina How nobly do you authorize my regard for her—In you madam shall I have all her excellencies without the abatements which must have been allowed had she been mine from considerations of Religion and Country Believe me madam that my Love of her if I know my heart is of such a nature as never can abate the fervor of that I vow to you To both of you my principal attachment was to MIND Yet let me say that the personal union to which you discourage me not to aspire and the duties of that most intimate of all connexions will preserve to you the due preference as allow me to say it would have done to her had she accepted of my vows
O Sir believe me incapable of affectation of petulance of disguise My heart Why should I not speak freely to Sir Charles Grandison is wholly yours—It never knew another Lord I will flatter myself that had you never known Lady Clementina and had she not been a prior Love you never would have had a divided heart—What pain must you have had in the conflict My regard for you bids me acknowlege my own vanity in my pity for you
I gushed into tears—You must leave me Sir—I cannot bear the exaltation you have given me
I turned away my face I thought I should have fainted
He clasped me to his bosom He put his cheek to mine For a moment we neither of us could speak
He broke the short silence I dread the effects on your tender health of the pain I or rather your own greatness of mind give you Beloved of my heart kissing my cheek wet at that moment with the tears of both forgive me—And be assured that Reverence will always accompany my Love Will it be too
much just now to reurge the day that shall answer the wishes of Clementina of her noble brothers of all our own friends and make you wholly mine
His air was so noble his eyes shewed so much awe yet such manly dignity that my heart gave way to its natural impulse—Why Sir should I not declare my reliance on your candour My honour in the worlds eye I entrust to you But bid men ot do an improper thing left my desire of obliging you should make me forget myself
Was not this a generous resignation Did it not deserve a generous return But he even Sir Charles Grandison endeavoured to make his advantage of it Letters from Italy unreceived as if he thought my reference to those a punctilio also
What a deposit—Your honour madam is safely entrusted Can punctilio be honour—It is but the shadow of it What but that stands against your grant of an early day—Do not think me misled by my impatience to call you mine to take an undue advantage of your condescension Is it not the happiness of both that I wish to confirm And shall I suffer false delicacy false gratitude to take place of the true—Allow me madam—But you seem uneasy—I will prolong the time I had intended to beg you would permit me to limit you to Let me request from you the choice of some one happy day before the expiration of the next fourteen—
Consider Sir—
Nothing madam happening in my behaviour to cause you to revoke the generous trust From abroad there cannot
He looked to be in earnest in his request Was it not almost an ungenerous return to my confidence in him Twelve days only had elasped since his personal declaration the Letters from Italy which he had allowed me to wait for unreceived Lady D one of the most delicateminded of women knowing too my
preferable regard for your brother And must not the hurry have the worse appearance for that No preparation yet thought of My aunt thinking his former urgency greatly as she honours him rather too precipitating—My spirits hurried before were really affected Do not call me a silly girl dearest Lady G I endeavoured to speak but at the instant could not distinctly
I am sorry madam that what I have said has so much disturbed you Surely some one day in the fourteen—
Indeed indeed Sir interrupted I you have surprised me I did not think you could have wished so to limit me—I did not expect—
What loveliest of women will you allow me to expect The day is still at your own choice Revoke not however the generous concession till Mrs Shirley Mrs Selby and our Lucy are consulted Will you dearest madam be determined by them
Say not Sir to any of them after such an instance of my confidence in you—for the honour of your accustomed generosity say it not—that you could so limit me and I will endeavour to forget it
Consider my dearest Miss Byron—
I believe my grandmamma is come said I—
They are all goodness They will indulge me I will tell you madam taking my hand and seating me what is my intention if you approve of it All the country suppose that my application for your favour meets with encouragement They expect as I have told you a speedy solemnization I took my lodgings at some little distance from you at a place of public entertainment perhaps pardon me madam for the sake of my ingenuousness with some view that the general talk See Lady G it is well he is a good man would help to accelerate my happy day But madam to continue my daily visits from thence when my happiness is supposed to be
near will not perhaps look so well We are to be studious of looks it seems—Indeed I would not be thought to despise the worlds opinion The world when it will have patience to stay till it is master of facts is not always wrong It can judge of others better than it can act itself—The change of my lodgings to others in this house or in Shirleymanor will not perhaps be allowed till I am blessed with the hand of the dearest relation of both I therefore think of going up to town declaredly Why not to prepare for our nuptials and to return near the time agreed upon for the happy celebration Then will either this house or Shirleymanor be allowed to receive the happiest of men
He stopt I was silent He proceeded looking tenderly yet smilingly in my downcast face still holding my hand—And now dearer to me than life let me ask you—Can you think it an unpardonable intrusion on your condescending goodness that I make the time of my return to my Miss Byron not overtedious—Fourteen days were you to go to the extent of them would be an age to me who have been for so many days past the happiest man that a person in expectation can be I do assure you madam that I had not the insolence to suppose I was making you a request that was rather expected to be forgiven than complied with I thought myself not ungenerous to the confidence you reposed in me that I gave you so much time I thought of a week and began apologizing lest you should think it too short but when I saw you disturbed I concluded with the mention of a fortnight My dearest creature think me not unreasonable in my expectations of your compliance—
What Sir in a fortnight—
As to preparations madam you know the pleasure my sisters will have in executing any commissions you will favour them with on so joyful an occasion Charlotte had not so much time for preparation But were
not everything to be in readiness by the chosen day there will be time enough for all you wish before you would perhaps choose to see company—Consider my dearest life that if you regard punctilio merely punctilio has no determinate end Punctilio begets punctilio You may not half a year hence imagine that to be sufficiently gratified Again I say Do you madam consider Let me adhere to the fourteen days and within them crown the hope you gave me
Within them—Sir I did not expect—
You tell me my beloved Miss Byron interrupted he what you did not expect—Tell me I beseech you mistress as you are of one of the noblest of female hearts what you did expect when you condescended to make me the compliment that were it to be carried into effect would engage my utmost gratitude
I had not thought of any particular time But I could not have made you that compliment had I thought of a day so very early
You have madam you ought to have the option Yet I own that your declared generous confidence in me had elated me The temptation was too great for me not to wish to make use of the power you had as I thought put into my hands And allow me to say that I cannot give up my hope till your grandmamma and aunt decide that I ought
How Sir—And can you thus adhere—But I will allow of your reference—
And be determined by their advice madam
But I will not trust you Sir with pleading your own cause
Are you not arbitrary madam
In this point if I am ought I not to be so
Yes if you will resume a power you had so generously resigned
May I not Sir when I think it overstrained in the hands of the person to whom in better hopes it was delegated
That dear Lady is the point to be tried You consent to refer the merits of it to your grandmamma and aunt
If I do Sir you ought not to call me arbitrary
It is gracious bowing in my sovereign Lady to submit her absolute will and pleasure to arbitration
Very well Sir—But will you not submit to my own award
Tell me dear Miss Byron tell me if I do how generous will you be
I was far from intending—
Was madam—I hope I may dwell upon that word and repeat my question
Am Sir I am far from intending—
No more dear madam I appeal to another tribunal
Well Sir I will endeavour to recollect the substance of this conversation and lay it in writing before the judges you have named Lucy shall be one
You will permit me madam to see your state of the case before you lay it before the judges
No Sir None but they must see it till it makes part of a Letter to Lady G who then shall shew it only to Lady L
It is the harder to be thus prescribed to my dear Miss Byron because—
What Sir in my day—
That was what I was going to urge because mine will never come Every day to the end of my life will be yours Dear man—Only Sir as I deserve your kindness I wish not for it on other terms And you shall be then sole judge of my deserts I will not appeal to any other tribunal
He gracefully bowed I think said he smiling I must withdraw my intended appeal I am halfafraid of my judges and perhaps ought to rely wholly on your goodness
No no Sir Your intention is your act In that sense you have appealed to Caesar a
I never before was in Love with despotism You mention writing to my sisters You correspond with them I presume as you formerly did with our Lucy Let me tell you madam that you had not been Miss Byron FOURTEEN days after I was favoured with the sight of those Letters had I been at liberty to offer you my heart and could I have prevailed on you to accept it Your distress your noble frankness of heart—
And let me own Sir as an instance of the frankness you are pleased to encourage that gratitude for the deliverance you so nobly gave me had as much power over my heart as the openness of mine and my distress could have over yours
Sweet excellence—Complete your generous goodness to a grateful heart it is a grateful one and shorten the days of your single power in order to enlarge it
Lucy appeared but seeing us engaged in conversation was about to retire But he stepping to her and taking both her hands—OUR Lucy obligingly said he you must come in—You are to be one judge of three in a certain cause that will come before you—And I hope—
No prejudgings Sir Charles said I—You are not to plead at all—
Yet deeply interested in the event Miss Selby said he
A bad sign cousin Byron said Lucy I begin already to doubt the justice of your cause
When you hear it Lucy make as you usually do the golden rule yours and I have nothing to fear
I tell you beforehand I am inclined to favour Sir Charles No three judges can be found but will believe from his character that he cannot be wrong
But from mine that I may O my Lucy I did not expect this from my cousin You must not I think be one of my judges
To this place I have shewn my three judges The following is their determination drawn up by the dear Lady president my grandmamma
Sir Charles Grandison against Harriet Byron Et é Contra
WE the underwritten do find upon the case laid before us by the said Harriet That in the whole conversation between the said Sir Charles and her she has behaved herself with that true virgin delicacy yet with that laudable unreservedness that might be expected from her character and his merits We think the gentleman has the advantage of the Lady in the arguments for the early day contended for and if she had defended herself by little artifices and disguises we should have had no scruple to decide against her But as she has shewn throughout the conversation noble instances of generosity trust reposed and even acknowleged affection we recommend to them both a compromise
We allow therefore Sir Charles Grandison to pursue his intentions of going up to town declaredly to prepare for the happy day and recommend it to Harriet in consideration of the merits of the requester who lays his whole heart open before her in a manner too generous not to meet with a like return to fix as early a day as in prudence she can
For the rest May the Almighty shower down his blessings on both May all their contentions like this be those of Love and true Delicacy May they live together many very many happy years an example of conjugal felicity And may their
exemplary virtues meet with an everlasting reward—So prays so subscribes
• HENRIETTA SHIRLEY
• MARIANNE SELBY
• LUCY SELBY
Tomorrow morning when Sir Charles comes to breakfast this paper will be presented to him by my grandmamma
I wonder whether Sir Charles writes to Dr Bartlett an account of what passes here If he does what would I give to see his Letters and particularly what he thinks of the little delays he meets with▪ But do dear Lady G acquit me of affectation and parade Indeed it is not that I hope he himself acquits me and censures himself for upon my word he is unreasonably hasty
I could not but express a little curiosity about his hint of Lady Olivias favourable opinion of me tho not at the time and he was so good as to shew me and my grandmamma and aunt a most extraordinary character which she gave me in a long Letter I saw it was a long Letter I was very Eveish my dear Lucy said afterwards that I did so leer at it An ugly word importing sliness and after I was angry at myself for giving her the idea that put her upon applying it I chid her for using it
Lady Olivia writes such high things my dear I blushed—I did not could not deserve them I always pitied her you know but now you cannot imagine how much more than ever I pitied her Do all of us indeed as the men say love flattery—I did not think I did—I shall find out all the obliquities of my heart in time I was supposed once to be so good a creature—as if none other were half so good—Ah my partial friends you studied your Harriet in the dark but here comes the sun darting into all the
crooked and obscure corners of my heart and I shrink from his dazling eye and compared to Him and Clementina let me add appear to myself such a Nothing—
Nay I have had the mortification once or twice to think myself less than the very Olivia upon whom but lately secure of my minds superiority to her mind I looked down with a kind of proud compassion And whence this exaltation of Olivia and selfhumiliation—Why from her magnifying beyond measure the poor Harriet and yielding up her own hopes entreating him as she does to address me and that with such honourable distinction as if my acceptance of him were doubtful and a condescension
I wish I could procure you a copy of what your brother read to me—Ah my dear it is very soothing to my pride—But what is the foundation of that pride Is it not my ambition to be thought worthily of by the best of men And does not praise stimulate me to resolve to deserve praise I will endeavour to deserve it But my dear this Olivia a fine figure herself and loving in spite of discouragement can praise to the object of her Love the person and still more the mind, of her rival—Is not that great in Olivia Could I be so great if I thought myself in danger from her
Selbyhouse Wedn Oct 25
SIR Charles came not this morning till we were all assembled for breakfast I had begun to think whether if I had been Sir Charles and he had been Miss Byron I would not have been here an hour before expecting the decision of the judges to whom a
certain cause was referred O my dear Lady G how narrow minded I am with all my quondam heroism The knowlege of his past engagements with the excellent Clementina and of his earnest wishes then to be hers makes me on every occasion that can be tortured into an appearance of neglect or coldness so silly—Indeed I am ashamed of myself But all my petulance was dispelled the instant he shone upon us
Well my dear Ladies said he the moment he took his place whisperingly to my grandmamma who sat between my aunt and Lucy Is sentence given
It is Sir Charles—He took my hand cross my Nancys lap as she sat between him and me—I have hopes my dear Miss Byron from the foolishness in my looks I suppose that you are cast
Have patience Sir said I—It is well that the best of us are not always to be our own carvers
He looked Lucy said afterwards with eyes of love upon me and of apprehension on his judges and the discourse turned upon different subjects
I retired as soon as breakfast was over and he demanded his sentence
My uncle was as he called it turned out of door before my grandmamma gave your brother the paper
Sir Charles read it—You are not serious upon it Sir Charles said my grandmamma—I am infinitely obliged to you Ladies replied he I love to argue with my dear Miss Byron I must attend her this moment
He sent up Sally before him and came up I was in my closet and scrupled not to admit him
Henceforth my dearest dear Miss Byron said he the moment he approached me as I stood up to receive him I salute you undoubtedly mine—And he saluted me with ardor—I knew not which way to look—So polite a Lover as I thought him—Yet never man was so gracefully free—It remains now
madam proceeded he still holding my hand to put to trial your goodness to me You have done that already thought I in the greater question by which I am to conduct myself for the next week or ten days
Week or ten days thought I Surely Sir you are an incroacher
You see Sir said I when a little recovered what judges who on such points as these cannot err have determined
Yes they can interrupted he As Ladies they are parties—But I submit Their judgment must be a law to me—I will go up to town as they advise I cannot however be long absent from you When I return I will not put up at a public place Either your uncle or your grandmother must allow me to be their guest This will oblige you I hope even for dear punctilio sake to honour me with your hand very soon after my return
He paused I was silent His first address had put me out Remember madam I said resumed he that I cannot be long absent You are above being governed by mere punctilio Add to the obligations your generous acceptance of me has laid me under—Why sighs my Angel It was my dear Lady G an involuntary sigh—For the world I would not give you either sensible or lasting pain But if the same circumstances would make your nomination of a day as painful to you some time hence as now then bless me with as early a day as you CAN give me to express myself in the words of my judges
This Sir said I but I hesitated and looked down is one of the solemn points which precede one of the most solemn circumstances of my life You seem more in earnest for an early day than I could have expected When I have declared that affectation has no part in the more distant compliance I may be allowed by the nicest of my own Sex to lay open to a man so generous tho so precipitating my whole heart Indeed
Sir it is wholly yours—I blushed as I felt and turned away my face It was a free declaration But I was resolved to banish affectation He bowed profoundly on my hand and kissed it Gratitude looked out in his eyes and appeared in his graceful manner tho attentively silent
You was my deliverer proceeded I An esteem founded on gratitude the object so meritorious ought to set me above mere forms—Our judges say that you have the advantage in the argument
I will lay no stress madam on this part of their judgment in my favour—To your goodness and to that so noblyacknowleged esteem I wholly refer myself
I myself think proceeded I that you have the advantage in the argument—All that is in my power I would wish to do to oblige you—
Condescending goodness—Again he bowed on my hand
Do you think Sir—
Why hesitates my Love
Do you think six weeks—
Six ages my dearest dearest creature—Six weeks For Heavens sake madam—He looked he spoke impatience
What can a woman who has owned your title to expect to be obliged say—let me at least ask and I unaffectedly hesitated a month Sir—from this day—And that you will acknowlege yourself not perversely or weakly treated
He dropt on one knee and kissing my hand once twice thrice with rapture Within the month then I hope—I cannot live a month from you—Allow me to return in the first fortnight of the month—
O Sir and take up your residence with us on your return
Undoubtedly madam—Consider Sir—Do you also dearest madam consider and banish me not from you for so very long a time
My heart wanted I thought to oblige him but to allow him to return sooner as he was to take up his abode with us what was that but in effect complying with his first proposal
Permit me Sir to retire Indeed you are too urgent
He asked my excuse but declared that he would not give up his humble plea humble he called it unless my grandmamma and aunt told him that he ought
On his leaving me to return to company below he presented me with four little boxes Accept my beloved Miss Byron said he of these trifles I received them not till this morning While I had the Day to hope from you my heart would not suffer me to offer them least you should suspect me mean enough to imagine an influence from them I oblige myself by the tender and I comply with custom which I am fond of doing whenever I can innocently do it But I know that you my dear Miss Byron value the heart more than a thousand times the value of these—Mine madam is yours and will be yours to the end of my life
What could I say—My heart on recollection reproaches me for my ungraceful acceptance I courtesied I was silly Sir Charles Grandison only can be present to every occasion
He looked as if my not refusing them was a favour more than equivalent to the value of the presents My dearest life said he on my putting them on my toilette how much you oblige me—Shall I conduct you to our friends below Will you acquaint your grandmamma and aunt with our debate and my bold expectation
I stood still He took my hand pressed it with his lips and with a reverence more than usually profound as if he had received instead of conferred a favour withdrew Never was a present so gracefully
made I cannot describe the grace with which he made it
My uncle it seems as soon as he went down asked him How we had settled the great affair My grandmamma and aunt in a breath as he paid his compliments to them asked him If their Harriet had been good—or as good as he expected
Miss Byron said he has taken more time than I could have wished she had A month she talks of
Has she complied so far said my grandmamma I am glad of it I was afraid she would have insisted upon more time—So was I said my aunt But who can withstand Sir Charles Grandison Has the dear girl given you the very day Sir
No madam If she had I should have hoped it would have been considerably within the month As yet Ladies I hope it will
Nay Sir Charles if you are not pleased with a month said my aunt—Hush dear Ladies—Here comes the Angel—Not a word I beseech you on that side of the question—She will think if you applaud her that she has consented to too short a term—You must not make her uneasy with herself
Does not this look as if he imagined there was room for me to be so—I almost wish—I dont know what I wish except I could think but half so well of myself as I do of him For then should I look forward with less pain in my joy than now too often mingles with it
Your brother excused himself from dining with us That Greville has engaged him Why would he permit himself to be engaged by him Greville cannot love him He can only admire him and that everybody does who has been but once in his company Miss Orme even Miss Orme is in Love with him I received a note from her while your brother was with us These are the contents
Dear Miss Byron
I AM in Love with your young Baronet It is well that your Beauty and your Merit secure you and make every other woman hopeless To see and know Miss Byron is half the cure unless a woman were presumption itself O my poor brother—But will you let me expect you and as many of the dear family as you can bring at breakfast tomorrow morning—Sir Charles Grandison of course Shew your own obligingness to me and your power over him at the same time Your cousin Holless will be with me and three sistertoasts of York besides that Miss Clarkson of whose Beauty and Agreeableness you have heard me talk They long to see you You may come Poor things how will they be mortified If any one of them can allow herself to be less lovely than the others she will be least affected by your superiority But let me tell you that Miss Clarkson had she the intelligence in her eyes that Somebody else has and the dignity with the ease would be as charming a young woman But we are all prepared I to love they to admire your gentleman Pray pray my dear bring him or the disappointment will kill
Your KITTY ORME
Lucy acquainting Sir Charles with the invitation asked him if he would oblige Miss Orme He was at our command he said—So we shall breakfast tomorrow at The Park
But I am vexed at his dining with us today So little time to stay with us I wish him to be complaisant to Mr Greville but need he be so very obliging There are plots laying for his company all over the county We are told there is to be a numerous assembly all of gentlemen at Mr Grevilles Mr
Greville humourously declares that he hates all women for the sake of one
WE have just opened the boxes O my dear Lady G your brother is either very proud or his fortune is very high Does he not say that he always consults fortune as well as degree in matters of outward appearance He has not in these presents I am sure consulted either the fortune or degree of your Harriet—Of your happy Harriet I had like to have written But the word happy in this place would have looked as if I thought these jewels an addition to my happiness How does his bounty insult me on my narrow fortune—Narrow unless he submit to accept of the offered contributions of my dear friends—Contributions—Proud Harriet how art thou even in thy exaltation humbled—Trifles he called them The very ornamenting ones self with such toys may in his eye be thought trifling tho he is not above complying with the fashion in things indifferent But the cost and beauty of these jewels considered they are not trifles The jewel of jewels however, is his heart How would the noble Clementina—Hah Pen Heart rather Why why just now this check of Clementina—I know why—Not from want of admiration of her but when I am allowing my heart to open then does—Something here in my inmost bosom Is it Conscience strike me as if it said Ah Harriet—Triumph not rejoice not Check the overflowings of thy grateful heart—Art thou not an invader of anothers right
Thursday Morning Oct 27
I Will hurry off a few lines I am always ready before these fiddling girls Lucy and Nancy I mean Never tedious but in dressing They will overdo the morning appearance I could beat them So well acquainted with propriety as they are and knowing the beauty of elegant negligence Were I not afraid of Lucys repartee and that she would say I was laying out for a compliment I would tell them they had a mind to try to eclipse Miss Clarkson and the Yorkshire Ladies Your brother supped as well as dined at that Grevilles Fie upon him I did not think he had so little command of himself—Vain Harriet Perhaps he chose to be rather there than here for novelty sake I shall be saucy byandby He is below strongly engaged in talk with my aunt—About me I suppose Ay to be sure methinks your Ladyship says He can talk of nobody else—Well and what if one would wish he could not What are these girls about No less than oneandtwenty gentlemen at Grevilles besides the Prince of them all They all were ready to worship him Fenwick looked in just now and tells us so He says that your brother was the liveliest man in the company He led the mirth he says and visibly exerted himself the more finding the turn of the conversation likely to be what might be expected from such a company of all men Wretches Can twenty of them when met be tolerable creatures not a woman among them to soften their manners and give politeness to their conversation—Fenwick says they engaged him at one time into talk of different regions customs usages He was master of every subject Half a score mouths
were open at once whenever he spoke as if distended with gags was his word and every ones eyes broader than ever they were observed to be before Fenwick has humour a little Not much only by accident So unlike himself at times that he may pass for a different man His aping Greville helps his oddness—How I ramble Youll think I am aping my dear Lady G Mockings catching—O these girls—I think time lost when I am not writing to you You cannot imagine what a thief I am to my company I steal away myself and get down before I am missed half a score times in a couple of hours Sir Charles sung to the wretches They all sung They encored him without mercy—He talks of setting out for town on Saturday early Lord bless me what shall I do when he is gone—Do you think I say this If I do I am kept in countenance Everybody says so as well as I—But ah Lady G—He has invited all the gentlemen the whole Twentyone and my cousin James and my uncle to dine with him at his inn tomorrow—Inn nasty inn Why did we let him go thither—I am afraid he is a reveller Can he be so very good a man O yes yes yes wicked Harriet What is in thy heart to doubt it A fine reflexion upon the age as if there could not be one good man in it and as if a good man could not be a man of vivacity and spirit From whom can spirits can chearfulness can debonnairness be expected if not from a good man—I will shew these girls by the quantity I have written how they have made me wait Prating I suppose to my Sally about Sir Charles They can talk of nobody else—Ready Yes you dear creatures So you ought to have been a leaf and half of my writing ago—Adieu Lady G till our return from Miss Ormes
Thursday Noon
JUST come back from Miss Ormes Sir Charles and my grandmamma are now got together in serious
talk I know I was the subject by the dear parents looking often smiling upon me as I sat at distance and by his eyes taking the reference as I may call it of hers turned as often towards me so I stole up to my pen
We were very politely treated by Miss Orme Miss Clarkson is a charming young Lady The three Yorkshire sisters are lovely women Sir Charles has told us that mere Beauty attracts only his eyes as fine flowers do in a gay parterre I dont know that my dear Thats the philosophical description of himself The same men and women are not always the same persons The Ladies one and all when his back was turned declared that he was the gallantest man they ever were in company with He said the easiest politest things they ever heard spoken—They never were in his company before They might else have heard as fine Such dignity they observed so does everybody yet so much ease in all he said as well as in his whole behaviour—Born to be a public man would his pride permit him to aim at being so—Not a syllable however but what might be said to each with the strictest truth Sir Charles Grandison It is Lucys observation as well as mine addresses himself to women as women not as goddesses yet does honour to the persons and to the sex Other men not knowing what better to say make Angels of them all at once The highest things are ever said by men of the lowest understandings and their bolts once shot the poor souls can go no further So silly—Has not your Ladyship some of these in your eye who make out the rest by grinning in our faces in order to convince us of their sincerity Complimental men dont consider that if the women they egregiously flatter were what they would have them believe they think them they would not be seen in such company
But what do you think the elder sister of the three
said of your brother—She was sure those eyes and that vivacity and politeness were not given him for nothing Given him for nothing What a phrase is that In short she said that practice had improved his natural advantages This I have a good mind to say of her—Either she had not charity or her heart has paid for enabling its mistress to make such an observation Practice What meant she by the word—Indeed your brother was not quite so abstractedly inattentive I thought to the Beauty of Miss Clarkson but he might give some little shadow of ground for observation to a censorious person
I sometimes think that free and open as his eyes are his character might suffer if one were to judge of his heart by them Lord L I remember once said that Ladies abroad used to look upon him as their own man the moment they beheld him—Innocently so no doubt and in their conversationassemblies Poor Lady Olivia I suppose was so caught at an unhappy moment perhaps when her caution was halfasleep and she was loth to have it too rudely awakened But ought I your Harriet to talk of this—Where was my caution when I suffered myself to be surprised—O but my gratitude was my excuse Who knows what Olivia might have to plead—We have not her whole story you know Poor Lady I pity her To cross the seas as she did—Ineffectually
But can you bear this penprattling the effects of a mind more at ease than it ever expected to be
I will go down Can I be so long spared I am just thinking that were I one of the creatures called Coquettes the best way to attract attention when it grew languid is to do as I do from zeal in writing to you—Be always going out and returning and not staying long enough in a place to tire ones company or suffer them to turn their eyes upon anybody else Did you ever try such an experiment Charlotte But
you never could tire your company Yet I think you have a spice of that character in yours Dont you think so yourself—But dont own it if you do—Heyday Whats the matter with me I believe by my flippancy I am growing quite well and as saucy as I used to be—Poor Lady Clementina I wish she were happy Then should I be so
MY dear Lady G we had a charming conversation this day My grandmamma and your brother bore the principal parts in it It began with dress and fashion and suchlike trifling subjects but ended in the noblest You know my grandmammas chearful piety Sir Charles seemed at first only designing to attend to her wisdom but she drew him in O my dear he seems to be yet not to know it as good a man as she is a woman Yet years so different—But austerity uncharitableness on one hand ostentation affectation on the other these are qualities which can have no place in his heart Such a glorious benevolence Such enlarged sentiments—What a happy thrice happy woman thought I several times must she be who shall be considered as a partaker of his goodness Who shall be blest not only in him but for him and be his and he hers to all eternity
My aunt once in the conclusion of this conversation said How happy would it be if he could reform certain gentlemen of this neighbourhood And as they were so fond of his company she hoped he would attempt it
Example he answered and a silent one would do more with such men than precept They have Moses and the prophets They know when they do wrong and what is right They would be afraid of and affronted at a man pretending to instruct them Decency from such men is as much as can be expected We live in such an age added he that I believe more
good may be done by seeming to relax a little than by strictness of behaviour Yet I admire those who from a full persuasion of their duty do not relax and the more if they have got above moroseness austerity and uncharitableness
After dinner Mr Milbourne a very good man minister of a Dissenting congregation in our neighbourhood accompanied by Dr Curtis called in upon us They are good friends made so by the mediation of my grandmamma some years ago when they did not so well understand each other Dr Curtis had been with us more than once since Sir Charles was our visiter He greatly admires him you need not doubt It was beautiful after compliments had passed between Sir Charles and the gentlemen to see the modest man shine out in your brothers behaviour Indeed he was free and easy but attentive as expecting entertainment and instruction from them and leading each of them to give it in his own way
They staid but a little while and when they were gone Sir Charles said He wanted no other proof of their being good men than they gave by their charity and friendship to each other My uncle who you know is a zealous man for the Church speaking a little severely of persons whom he called Scismatics O Mr Selby said Sir Charles let us be afraid of prescribing to tender consciences You and I who have been abroad in countries where they account us worse than Schismatics would have been loath to have been prescribed to or compelled in articles for which we ourselves are only answerable to the common Father of us all▪
I believe in my conscience Sir Charles replied my uncle if the truth were known you are of the mind of that King of Egypt who said He looked upon the diversity of religions in his kingdom with as much pleasure as he did on the diversity of flowers in his garden
I remember not the name of that King of Egypt Mr Selby but I am not of his mind I should not if I were a king take pleasure in such a diversity But as the examples of Kings are of great force I would by making my own as faultless as I could let my people see the excellence of my persuasion and my uniform practical adherence to it instead of discouraging erroneous ones by unjustifiable severity Religious zeal is generally a fiery thing I would as soon quarrel with a man for his Face as for his Religion A good man if not overhated by zeal will be a good man whatever be his faith and should always be intitled to our esteem as he is to our good offices as a fellowcreature
The Methodists Sir Charles What think you of the Methodists Say you love em and and and addsdines you shall not be my nephew
You now my dear Mr Selby make me afraid of you You throw out a menace the only one you could perhaps think of that would make me temporize
You need not you need not be afraid Sir Charles said my uncle laughing What say you Harriet Need he Hay looking in my downcast face Why speak you not lovely Love Need Sir Charles if he had disobliged me to have been afraid—Hay
Dear Sir you have not of a long time been so—
So what Harriet So what dearest looking me quite down
Fie Mr Selby said my grandmamma Sir Charles stepping to me very gallantly took my hand—O Mr Selby you are not kind said he But allow me to make my advantage of your unkindness My dear Miss Byron let you and I withdraw in compassion to Mr Selby let us withdraw We will not hear him chidden as I see the Ladies think he ought to be
And he hurried me off The surprize made me appear more reluctant than I was in my heart
Every one was pleased with his air and manner and by this means he relieved himself from subjects with which he seemed not delighted and obtained an opportunity to get me to himself
Here had he stopt he would have been welcome But hurrying me into the Cedarparlour I am jealous my Love said he putting his arm round me You seemed loth to retire with me Forgive me But thus I punish you whenever you give me cause And dear Lady G he downright kissed me—My lip and not my cheek—and in so fervent a way—I tell you everything my Charlotte—I could have been angry—had I known how from surprize Before I could recollect myself he withdrew his arm and resuming his usual respectful air it would have made me look affected had I then taken notice of it But I dont remember any instance of the like freedom used to Lady Clementina
My lovely Love said he to express myself in your uncles stile which is that of my heart tell me Can you have pity for a poor man when he is miserable who on a certain occasion shewed you none See what a Letter Sir Hargrave Pollexfen has written to Dr Bartlett who asks my advice about attending him
I obtained leave to communicate it to you my dear Ladies Be pleased to return it to me I presume you will read it here
Dear Dr Bartlett
CAN your company be dispensed with by the best of men for one two three days—I have not had a happy hour since I saw you and Sir Charles Grandison at my house on the Forest All is gloom and horror in my mind My despondency is must be of the blackest kind It is blacker than remorse It is all repining but no repentance I cannot cannot repent Lord God of Heaven and Earth what a
wretch am I with such a fortune such estates I am rich as Craesus yet more miserable than the wretch that begs his bread from door to door and who oftener meets repulses than relief What a glorious choice has your patron made Youth unbroken conscience his friend he cannot know an enemy O that I had lived the life of your patron I cannot see a creature who does not extol him My winemerchants name is Danby—Good God What stories does he tell of him Lord Jesus What a heart must he have that would permit him to do such things as Danby reports of him of his own knowlege While I—As young a man as himself for what I know—With power to do good as great perhaps greater than his own—Lord Lord Lord what a hand have I made of it for the last three or four years of my life who might have reached Threescoreandten with comfort whereas now at Twentyeight I am on the very brink of the grave It appears to me as ready dug It yawns for me I am neither fit to die nor to live My days are dreadful My nights are worse My bed is a bed of nettles and not of down Not one comfortable thought not one good action to revolve in which I had not some vile gratification to promote Wretched man It is come home to me with a vengeance
You prayed by me You prayed for me I have not been so happy since—Come and make me easy—happy I can never be in this world—For pity for charity sake come and teach me how to bear life or how to prepare for its cessation And if Sir Charles Grandison would make me one more visit would personally join in prayer with you and me a glimpse of comfort would once more dart in upon my mind
Try your interest with him my dear Sir in my behalf and come together Where is he—The great God of Heaven and Earth prosper to him all his wishes be he where he will and be they what they
will Everybody will find their account in his prosperity But I what use have I made of the prosperity given me—Merceda gone to his account Bagenhall undone Jordan shunning me Narrowsould Jordan He is reformed but not able to divide the man from the crime he thinks he cannot be in earnest but by hating both God help me I cannot now if I would give him a bad example He need not be afraid of my staggering him in his good purposes
One favour for Gods sake procure for me—It s that the man whose life once I sought and thought myself justified by the provocation who afterwards saved mine for a time saved it reserved as I was for pains for sufferings in mind and body worse than death—That this man will be the Executor of my last Will I have not a friend left My relations are hungering and watching for my death as birds of prey over a field of battle My next heirs are my worst enemies and most hated by me Dear Sir Charles Grandison my deliverer my preserver from those bloody Frenchmen if you are the good man I think you complete your kindness to him whom you have preserved and say you will be his Executor I will because I must do justice to the pretensions of those who will rejoice over my remains and I will leave you a discretionary power in articles wherein you may think I have shewn hatred For justicesake then be my Executor And do you good Bartlett put me in the way of repentance and I shall then be happy Draw me up dear Sir a Prayer that shall include Confusion You cannot suppose me too bad a man in a Christian sense Thank God I am a Christian in belief tho I have been a Devil in practice You are a heavenlyminded man give me words which may go to my heart and tell me what I shall say to my God
Tell Sir Charles Grandison that he owes to me the service I request of him For if he had not interposed
so hellishly as he did on Hounslowheath I had been the husband of Miss Byron in two hours and she would have thought it her duty to reform me And by the Great God of Heaven I swear it was my intention to be reformed and to make her if I could have had but her Civility tho not her Love the best of husbands Lord God of Heaven and Earth what a happy man had I then been—Then had I never undertaken that damned expedition to France which I have rued ever since Let your patron know how much I owe to him my unhappiness and he will not in justice deny any reasonable any honest request that I shall make him
Lord help me What a long Letter is here My Soul complains on paper I do nothing but complain It will be a relief if your patron and you will visit will pray for will pity
The most miserable of men HARGRAVE POLLEXFEN
Your brothers eye followed mine as I read I frequently wept In a soothing tender and respectful manner he put his arm round me and taking my own handkerchief unresisted wiped away the tears as they fell on my cheek These were his soothing words as my bosom heaved at the dreadful description of the poor mans misery and despair Sweet humanity—Charming sensibility—Check not the kindly gush—Dewdrops of Heaven wiping away my tears and kissing the handkerchief—Dewdrops of Heaven from a mind like that Heaven mild and gracious—Poor Sir Hargrave—I will attend him
You will Sir That is very good of you—Poor man What a hand as he says has he made of it
A hand indeed repeated Sir Charles his own benign eyes glistening
And will you be his Executor Sir—You will I hope
I will do any-thing that my dear Miss Byron wishes me to do any-thing that may comfort the poor man if indeed he has not a person in whom he ought to confide whether he is willing to do so or not My endeavour shall be to reconcile him to his relations Perhaps he hates them because they are likely to be his heirs I have known men capable of such narrowness
When we came to the place where the unhappy man mentions my having been likely to be his in two hours time a chilness came over my heart I shuddered Ah Sir said I how grateful ought I to be to my deliverer
Everamiable goodness resumed he How have I been how am I how shall I be rewarded—With tender awe he kissed my cheek—Forgive me Angel of a woman A man can shew his Love but as a man Your heart is the heart I wish it to be Love Humanity Graciousness Benevolence Forgiveness all the amiable qualities which can adorn the Female mind are in perfection yours Be your Sisterexcellence happy God grant it and I shall be the happiest man in the world You madam who can pity your oppressor when in misery can allow of my grateful remembrance of that admirable woman
Your tender remembrance of Lady Clementina Sir will ever be grateful to me—God Almighty make her happy—for your sake for the sake of your dear Jeronymo and for mine
There spoke Miss Byron and Clementina both in one Surely you two are informed by one mind What is distance of countries What obstacles can there be to dissever Souls so paired
But Sir—Must Clementina be compelled to marry Must the woman who has loved Sir Charles Grandison who stills avows her Love and only prefers her God to him be obliged to give her hand to another man
Would to Heaven that her friends tender indulgent as they have always been to her would not drive too fast But how can I of all men remonstrate to them in this case when they think nothing is wanting to obtain her compliance but the knowlege that she never can be mine
O Sir you shall still call her yours if the dear Lady changes her resolution and wishes to be so—Ought you not
And could Miss Byron—
She could she would interrupted I—Yet dear very dear I am not ashamed to own it would now the resignation cost me
Exalted loveliness
I never but by such a trial can be as great as Clementina—Then could I as she does take comfort in the brevity of human life Never never would I be the wife of any other man And shall the nobler Clementina be compelled
Good God lifting by his hands and eyes With what noble minds hast thou distinguished these two women—Is it for this madam that you wish to wait for the next Letters from Italy I have owned before that I presumed not to declare myself to you till I was sure of Clementinas adherence to a resolution so nobly taken We will however expect the next Letters My situation has not been happy Nothing but the consciousness of my own integrity excuse madam the seeming boast and a firm trust in Providence could at certain times have supported me
My mind my Charlotte seemed too high wrought Seeing me much disturbed he resumed the subject of Sir Hargraves Letter as a somewhat lessaffecting one You see my dearest Miss Byron said he a kind of necessity for my hastening up Another melancholy occasion offers Poor Sir Harry Beauchamp desires to see me before he dies—What a chequered life is this—I received Sir Hargraves Letter to Dr
Bartlett and this intimation from my Beauchamp by a particular dispatch just before I came hither I grudge the time I must lose tomorrow But we must make some sacrifices to good neighbourhood and civility Poor Greville had a view by inviting all his neighbours and me to let himself down with a grace in a certain case He made a merit of his resignation to me before all the company every one of which admired my dear Miss Byron Well received as I was by every gentleman then present I could not avoid inviting them in my turn but I will endeavour to recover the time Have I your approbation madam for setting out on Saturday morning early—I am afraid I must borrow of the Sunday some hours on my journey But visiting the sick is an act of mercy
You will be so engaged tomorrow Sir said I with your numerous guests and my uncle and cousin James will add to the number that I suppose we shall hardly see you before you set out early as you say that will be on Saturday morning
He said He had given orders already and for fear of mistakes should inforce them tonight for the entertainment of his guests and he would do himself the pleasure of breakfasting with us in the morning—Dear Lady Clementina forgive me—I shall not I am afraid know how to part with him tho but for a few weeks—How could you let him depart from you you knew not but it would be for ever—But you are a wonder of a woman—I am at least at this present writing a poor creature compared to you
I asked his leave to shew my grandmamma and aunt and my Lucy as well as his two sisters Sir Hargraves Letter He wished that they only should see it
The perusal cost the three dear friends just named some tears My grandmamma Lucy tells me for I was writing to you when they read it made some fine observations upon the different situations in which the two gentlemen find themselves at this time I myself
could not but recollect the gay fluttering figure that the poor Sir Hargrave made at Lady Betty Williams perpetually laughing and compare it with the dark scene he draws in the Letter before me all brought about in so short a space
There are I am told worse men than this Were those who are but as bad to be apprized of the circumstances of Sir Hargraves story as fully as we know them would they not reflect and tremble at his sate even tho that of Merceda whose exit I am told was all horror and despair and of the unhappy Bagenhall were not taken into the shocking account
This last wretch it seems his spirits and constitution both broken is gone nobody knows whither having narrowly escaped in person from an execution that was out against him body and goods the latter all seized upon his wife and an unhealthy child and she big with another turned out of doors a mortgagee in possession of his estate The poor woman wishing but for means to transport herself and child to her mean friends at Abbeville a collection set on foot in her neighbourhood for that purpose failing for the poor man was neither beloved nor pitied
These particulars your brothers trusty Richard Saunders told my Sally and in confidence that your brother a little before he came down being acquainted with her destitute condition sent her by him twenty guineas He never saw a deeper scene of distress he said
The poor woman on her knees received the bounty blessed the donor owned herself reduced to the last shilling and that she thought of applying to the parish for assistance to carry her over
Sir Charles staid not to supper My grandmamma being desirous to take leave of her favourite in the morning has been prevailed upon to repose here tonight
I must tell you my Charlotte all my fears my
feelings my follies You are now you know my Lucy Something arises in my heart that makes me uneasy I cannot account to myself for this great and sudden change of behaviour in Greville His extraordinary civilities even to fondness to your brother Are they consistent with his blustring character and constant threatnings of any man who was likely to succeed with me A turn of behaviour so sudden Sir Charles and he in a manner strangers but by character—And did he not so far prosecute his menaces as to try wicked wretch what bluster and a drawn sword would do and smart for it Must not that disgrace incense him—My uncle says he cannot be a true spirit witness his compromise with Fenwick after a rencounter which being reported to be on my account had like to have killed me at the time And if not a true spirit may he not be treacherous God preserve your Brother from all secret as well as open attacks And do you my dear Ladies forgive the tender folly of
Your HARRIET BYRON
Friday Morn Eight oClock October 27
THE apprehensions with which I was so weak as to trouble you in the conclusion of my last laid so fast hold of my mind that going immediately from my pen to my rest I had it broken and disturbed by dreadful shocking wandering dreams The terror they gave me several times awakened me but still as I closed my eyes I fell into them again Whence my dear proceed these ideal vagaries which for the time realize pain or pleasure to us according to their hue or complexion or rather according to our own
But such contradictory vagaries never did I know in my slumbers Incoherences of incoherence—For example—I was married to the best of men I was not married I was rejected with scorn as a presumptuous creature I sought to hide myself in holes and corners I was dragged out of a subterraneous cavern which the sea had made when it once broke bounds and seemed the dwelling of howling and conflicting winds and when I expected to be punished for my audaciousness and for repining at my lot I was turned into an Angel of light stars of diamonds like a glory encompassing my head A dear little baby was put into my arms Once it was Lucys another time it was Emilys and at another time Lady Clementinas—I was fond of it beyond expression
I again dreamed I was married Sir Charles again was the man He did not love me My grandmamma and aunt on their knees and with tears besought him to love their child and pleaded to him my love of him of long standing begun in gratitude and that he was the only man I ever loved O how I wept in my dream My face and bosom were wet with my real tears
My sobs and my distress and theirs awakenod me but I dropt asleep and fell into the very same resverie He upbraided me with being the cause that he had not Lady Clementina He said and so sternly I am sure he cannot look so sternly that he thought me a much better creature than I proved to be Yet methought in my own heart I was not altered I fell down at his feet I called it my misfortune that he could not love me I would not say it was his fault It might perhaps be his misfortune too—And then I said Love and Hatred are not always in ones power If you cannot love the poor creature who kneels before you that shall be a cause sufficient with me for a divorce I desire not to fasten myself on the man who cannot love me Let me be divorced from you Sir—
You shall be at liberty to assign any cause for the separation but crime I will bind myself never never to marry again but you shall be free—And God bless you and her you can love better than your poor Harriet—Fool I weep as I write—What a weak creature I am since I have not been well
In another part of my resverie he loved me dearly but when he nearly approached me or I him he always became a ghost and flitted from me Scenes once changed from England to Italy from Italy to England Italy I thought was a dreary wild covered with snow and pinched with frost England on the contrary was a country glorious to the eye gilded with a sun not too fervid the air perfumed with odours wafted by the most balmy Zephyrs from orangetrees citrons myrtles and jessamines In Italy at one time Jeronymos wounds were healed at another they were breaking out afresh Mr Lowther was obliged to fly the country Why did not appear There was a fourth brother I thought and he taking part with the cruel Laurana was killed by the General Father Marescotti was at one time a martyr for his Religion at another a Cardinal and talked of for Pope
But still what was more shocking and which so terrified me that I awoke in a horror which put an end to all my resveries for I slept no more that night—Sir Charles I thought was assassinated by Greville Greville fled his country for it and became a vagabond a Cain the Accursed I thought of God and Man—I your poor Harriet a widow left in the most calamitous circumstance that a woman can be in—Good Heaven—But avaunt recollection—Painful most painful recollection of ideas so terrible none of your intrusions—
No more of these horrid horrid incongruities will I trouble you with How have they run away with me I am hardly now recovered from the tremblings into which they threw me
What my dear is the reason that tho we know these dreams these fleeting shadows of the night to be no more than dreams illusions of the working mind fettered and debased as it is by the organs through which it conveys its confined powers to the grosser matter body then sleeping inactive as in the shades of death yet that we cannot help being strongly impressed by them and meditating interpretation of the flying vapours when reason is broad awake and tells us that it is weakness to be disturbed at them—But Superstition is more or less I believe in every mind a natural defect Happily poised is that mind which on the one hand is too strong to be affected by the slavish fears it brings with it and on the other runs not into the contrary extreme Scepticism the parent of infidelity
You cannot imagine my dear the pleasure I had the more for my various dream when your brother so amiably serene Love Condescension Affability shining in his manly countenance alighted as I saw him through my window at the same time I had the call to breakfast—Dear Sir I could have said Have not you been disturbed by cruel perplexing contradictory visions Souls may be near when Bodies are distant But are we not one Soul Could yours be unaffected when mine was so much disturbed—But thank God you are come Come safe unhurt pleased with me My fond arms were the ceremony passed should welcome you to your Harriet I would tell you all my disturbances from the absurd illusions of the past night and my mind should gather strength from the confession of its weakness
He talked of setting out early tomorrow morning His first visit he said should be to Sir Harry Beauchamp his next to Sir Hargrave Pollexfen Poor Sir Harry he said and sighed for him
Tenderhearted man as Clementina often called your brother he pitied Lady Beauchamp His poor
Beauchamp—The loss of a father he said where a great estate was to descend to the son was the test of a noble heart He could answer for the sincerity of his Beauchamps grief on this trying occasion Of what joy said he sitting between two of the best of women equally fond of him speaking low was I was my father deprived He had allowed me to think of returning to the arms of his paternal love I make no doubt but on looking into his affairs his son perhaps his steward he would have done for his daughters what I have done for my sisters We should both of us have had a new life to begin and pursue A happy one from my duty and his indulgence it must have been I had planned it out—With all humility I would by degrees have laid it before him first one part then another as his condescension would have countenanced me
Vile vile resveries—Must not this young man be the peculiar care of Heaven How could my disturbed imagination terrify me but in a dream that the machinations of the darkest mind as his must be Greville is not so bad a man who could meditate violence against virtue so sacredly guarded could be permitted to prevail against his life
My grandmamma once with tears in her eyes as he talked of taking leave laid her hand upon his and instantly withdrew it as if she thought the action too free He took her hand and with both his lifted it to his lips—Venerable goodness he called her She looked so proud and so comforted every one so pleased—It is a charming thing to see blooming youth fond of declining age
They dropt away one by one and I found myself left alone with him Sweetly tender was his address to me How shall I part with my Harriet said he My eyes were ready to overflow By a twinkling motion I thought to disperse over the whole eye the self-felt too ready tear My upperlip had the motion
in it throbbing like the pulsation which we call the lifeblood—I was afraid to speak for fear of bursting into a fit of tenderness yet was conscious that my very silence was more expressive of tenderness than speech could have been With what delight did his eager eye as mine nowandthen glancing upward discovered meditate my downcast face and silent concern Yet such was his delicacy that he took not that notice of it in words which if he had would have added to my confusion It was enough for him that he saw it As he was contented silently to enjoy the apparent affection I am not sorry he did see it He merited even open and unreserved assurances of Love But I the sooner recovered my spirits for his delicate nonobservance I could not circumstanced as we were say I wished for his speedy return yet my dear my purest wishes were that he would not be long absent My grandmamma pleases herself with having the dear man for her inmate on his return There is therefore no need for the sake of the worlds speech to abridge my month yet ought we to be shy of giving consequence to a man who through delicacy is afraid to let us see that he assumes consequence from our speechless tenderness for him—He restored me to speech by a change of subject—
Two melancholy offices shall I have to perform said he before I have the honour to attend again my dearest Miss Byron What must be the heart that melts not at anothers woe—As to Sir Hargrave I dont apprehend that he is near his end as is the case of poor Sir Harry Sir Hargrave labours under bodily pains from the attack made upon him in France and from a constitution ruined perhaps by riot And having nothing of consolation to give himself from reflexion on his past life as we see by his Letter his fears are too strong for his hopes But shall I tell him if I find it will give him comfort that you wish his recovery and are sorry for his indisposition Small
crevices let in light sometimes upon a benighted imagination He must consider his attempt upon your freewill tho not meant upon your honour as one of the enormities of his past life
I was overpowered with this instance of his generous goodness Teach me Sir to be good to be generous to be forgiving—like you—Bid me do what you think proper for me to do—Say to the poor man whose insults upon you in his challenge were then my terror O how much my terror in my name say all that you think will tend to give him consolation
Sweet excellence Did I ever hope to meet in woman with such an enlargement of heart—Clementina only of all the women I ever knew can be set in comparison with you And had she been granted to me the union of minds between us from difference of Religion could not have been so perfect as yours and mine must be
Greatly gratified as I was by the compliment I was sorry methought that it was made me at the expence of my Sex His words
Did I ever hope to meet in woman with such an enlargement of heart
piqued me a little Are not women as capable as men thought I of enlarged sentiments
The leave he took of me was extremely tender I endeavoured to check my sensibility He departed with the blessings of the whole family as well as mine I was forced to go up to my closet I came not down till near dinnertime I could not and yet my uncle accompanied my cousin James to Northhampton So that I had no apprehensions of his raillery One wants trials sometimes I believe to make one support ones self with some degree of outward fortitude at least Had my uncle been at home I should not have dared to have given so much way to my concern But soothing and indulgence sometimes I believe add to our imbecility of mind instead of strengthening our reason
MY uncle made it near eleven at night before he returned with my cousin James Not one of the company at his quitting it seemed inclinable to move He praised the elegance of the entertainment and the ease and chearfulness even to vivacity of Sir Charles How could he be so lively—How many ways have men to divert themselves when any-thing arduous attacks them—While we poor women—But your towndiversions—Your Ranelaghs Vauxhalls—bid fair to divert such of us as can carry ourselves out of ourselves—Yet are we likely to pay dear for the privilege since we thereby render our Sex cheap in the eyes of men harden our fronts and are in danger of losing that modesty at least of outward behaviour which is the characteristic of women
Saturday Morning
HE is gone Gone indeed Went early this morning Every mouth was last night it seems full of his praises The men admire him as much as the women I am glad of it methinks since that is an indirect confession that there are few among them like him Not so much superiority over our Sex therefore in the other in general with their enlarged hearts Have not we a Clementina a Mrs Shirley and a long c—I praise you not my dear Lady L and Lady G to your faces so I leave the c untranslated We do so look upon one another here Are so unsatisfied with ourselves We are not half so good company as we were before Sir Charles came among us How can that be But my Grandmamma has left us too—thats one thing She is retired to Shirleymanor to mortify after so rich a regale Those were her words
I hope your brother will write to us Should I not have asked him To be sure he will except his next Letters from Italy should be—But no doubt he will
write to us Mr Greville vows to my uncle he will not come near me He can less and less he says bear to think of my marrying tho he does what he can to comfort himself with reflecting on the extraordinary merit of the man who alone he says can deserve me He wishes the day were over and the D—ls in him he adds if the irrevocableness of the event does not cure him Mr Fenwick had yesterday his final answer from Lucy and he is to set out on Monday for Carlisle He declares that he will not return without a wife So thank Heaven his heart is whole notwithstanding his double disappointment
BUT my heart is set on hearing how the excellent Clementina takes the news of your brothers actual address and probability of succeeding I should not think it at all suprising if urged as she is to marry a man indifferent to her the Lord of her heart unmarried she should retract—O my Charlotte—What a variety of strange strange WhatshallIcall them would result from such a retractation and renewal of claim I never thought myself superstitious but the happiness before me is so much beyond my merit that I can hardly flatter myself at times that it will take place
WHAT think you my dear made me write so apprehensively—My aunt had just shewn me a Letter she had written to you—desiring you—to exercise for us your fancy your judgment I have no affectation on this subject—I long ago gave affectation to the winds—But so hasty—So undoubting—Are there not many possibilities and some probabilities against us—Something presumptuous—Lord bless me my dear should any-thing happen—Jewels bought and already presented—Appare—How would all these preparations aggravate My aunt says he shall be obliged Lucy Nancy the Miss Holless join with
her They long to be exercising their fancies upon the patterns which they suppose your Ladyship and Lady L will send down My uncle hurries my aunt So as something is going forward he says he shall be easy There is no resisting so strong a tide So let them take their course They are all in haste my dear to be considered as relations of your family and to regard all yours as kindred of ours Happy happy the band that shall tie both families together
HARRIET BYRON
London Monday Night Oct 30
YOUR humanity my dear and everdear Miss Byron was so much engaged by the melancholy Letter of Sir Hargrave to Dr Bartlett which I communicated to you and by the distress of my Beauchamp on the desperate state of his fathers health that I know you will be pleased to hear that I have been enabled to give some consolation to both
Sir Harry who is in town wanted to open his mind to me with regard to some affairs which made him extremely uneasy and which he said he could not reveal to anybody else He shewed some reluctance to entrust the secrets to my bosom There shall they ever rest He has found himself easier since He rejoiced to me on the good understanding subsisting and likely to subsist between his Lady and Son He desired me to excuse him for joining me with them without asking my leave in the trusts created by his Will And on this occasion sending for his Lady he put her hand in mine and recommended her and her interests as those of the most obliging of wives to my care
I found Sir Hargrave at his house in CavendishSquare
He is excessively lowspirited Dr Bartlett visited him at Windsor several times The Doctor prevailed on him to retain a worthy clergyman as his chaplain
The poor man asked after you madam He had heard he said that I was soon likely to be the happiest of men Was it so He wept at my answer lamented the wretched hand as he called it that he had made of it blessed as he was with such prosperous circumstances in the prime of youth and wished he had his days to come over again and his company to choose Unhappy man He was willing to remove from himself the load which lay upon him No doubt but this was the recourse of his companions likewise in extremity He blessed my dearest Miss Byron when I told him she pitied him He called himself by harsh and even shocking names for having been capable of offending so much goodness
What subjects are these to entertain my Angel with—But tho we should not seek yet we ought not perhaps to shun them when they naturally as I may say offer themselves to our knowlege
But another subject calls for the attention of my dearest loveliest of women A subject that will lay a still stronger claim to it than either of the solemn ones I have touched upon I inclose the Letter which contains it You will be so good as to read it in English to such of our friends as read not Italian
This Letter was left to Mrs Beaumont to dispatch to me whence its unwishedfor delay For she detained it to send with it an equallyobliging one of her own The contents of this welcome Letter my dearest Miss Byron will render it unnecessary to wait for an answer to my last to Signor Jeronymo in which I acquaint him with my actual address and the hopes I presume to flatter myself with I humbly hope you will think so
I am not afraid that one of the most generous of
women will be affected with the passage in which Signor Jeronymo expresses his pity for her because of the affection he says I must ever retain for his noble sister a He says right And it is my happiness that you the sisterexcellence of the admirable Clementina will allow me to glory in my gratitude to her You will still more readily allow me so to do when you have perused this Letter Shall not the man who hopes to be qualified for the Supreme Love of which the purest Earthly is but a type and who aims at an universal benevolence be able to admire in the mind of Clementina the same great qualities which shine out with such lustre in that of Miss Byron
With what pride do I look forward to the visit that several of this noble family intend to make us because of the unquestionable assurance that they will rejoice in my happiness and admire the Angel who is allowed to take place in my affections of the Angel who would not have scrupled to accept of my vows had it not been as she expresses herself b for the intervention of invincible obstacles
Mrs Beaumont in her Letter gives me the particulars of the conversation between her and Clementina almost in the same words with those of Jeronymo in the Letter inclosed She makes no doubt that Lady Clementina will in time yield to the entreaties of her friends in favour of a man against whom if she can be prevailed upon to forego her wishes to assume the veil she can have no one objection You will see madam by the inclosed what they hope for in Italy from us what Clementina what Jeronymo what a whole excellent family hope for You know how ardently my own family wish you to accelerate the happy day Yours refer themselves wholly to you—Pardon me my dearest Miss Byron I will tell you what are my hopes—They are
that when I am permitted to return to Northamptonshire the happy day shall not be postponed three
And now loveliest and dearest of women allow me to expect the honour of a line to let me know how much of the tedious month from last Thursday you will be so good as to abate Permit me to say that I can have nothing that needs to detain me from the beloved of my heart after Friday next
If madam you insist upon the whole month I beg to know out of what part of our nuptial life the LAST or the FIRST happy as I hope it will be you would be willing to deduct the week the fortnight that will be carried into the blank space of courtship by the delay I hope my dear Miss Byron that I shall be able to tell you years and years after we are ONE that there is not an hour of those past or of those to come that I would abate or wish to throw into that blank Permit me so to call it The days of courtship cannot be our happiest Who celebrates the day of their first acquaintance tho it may be remembred with pleasure—Do not the happy pair date their happiness from the day of marriage How justly then when hearts are assured when minds cannot alter are those which precede it to be deemed a blank
After all your chearful compliance with my wishes is the great desireable Whatever shall be your pleasure must determine me My utmost gratitude will be engaged by the condescension whenever you shall distinguish the day of the year distinguished as it will be to the end of my life that shall give me the greatest blessing of it and confirm me
For ever Yours CHARLES GRANDISON
Inclosed in the preceding
Bologna Oct 18 N S
I Gave you my dear Grandison in mine of the 5th the copy of a paper written by my sister which filled us with hopes of her compliance with the wishes of all her family She took time for deliberation time was given her but still she insisted on receiving your next Letters before she came to any resolution Mrs Beaumont herself was of opinion that the dear creature only meditated delay That also was ours What invincibly determined as she is to adhere to the resolution she has so greatly taken can she hope for said we among ourselves from the expected Letters For she had declared herself to be so determined to my brother Giacomo who actually assured her of all our consents to an alliance with you if she repented of that resolution
All this time we offered not to introduce nor even to name to her the Count of Belvedere Awed by her former calamity and by an excursiveness of imagination which at times shewed itself in her words and behaviour we avoided saying or doing any-thing that was likely to disturb her Giacomo himself tho he wanted to return to Naples had patience with her pretty trifling beyond our expectation At last arrived yours of the 29th of September a kindly inclosing a copy of yours to her of the same date b We question not but your reply to mine of the 5th current is on the road not that the contents will be such as we may hope for from considerations of our happiness and your own But these we thought
without waiting for that would answer the desired end I will tell you what was said by every one on the perusal of both
Is this the man said the General whom I sometimes so rudely treated I rejoice that we were reconciled before he left us I had formed a notion to his disadvantage that he was capable of art and hoped to keep his hold in my sisters affections in view of some turn in his favour But he is the most singlehearted of men These two Letters will strengthen our arguments Clementina who has more than once declared that she wishes him married to an English woman cannot now that she will see there is a woman with whom he thinks he can be happy wish to stand in his way These will furnish us with means to attack her in her strongest hold in her generosity her delicacy and will bring to the test her veracity The contents of these Letters will confirm her before halftaken resolution as in her paper to oblige us a Let Laurana as the Chevalier says go into a nunnery Clementina will marry or she is a false girl and the Sforza woman will be disappointed
My mother applauded you and rejoiced to hear that there is a woman of your own nation who is capable of making you more happy than her daughter could
What difficulties said the young Marchioness ever your friend must a situation so critical have laid him under A man so humane And what further difficulties must he have to surmunt in offering to a woman whom even Olivia as he says admires a hand that has been refused by another May this admired woman be propitious to his suit
She must she must said the Bishop If she has a heart disengaged she cannot refuse a man so accomplished Jeronymo hasten to be well If she favour him we will all go over and congratulate them both
I for my part said I would give up years of life to see my friend as happy in marriage as he deserves to be
We must tell Clementina said my father as our Giacomo has hinted that it will not become her generosity to stand in the way of the Chevaliers happiness
We sent up your Letter to our sister by Camilla She was busy Mrs Beaumont sitting by her at work in correcting the proportion which once you found fault with in a figure in her piece of Noahs Ark and the rising Deluge A Letter madam from the Chevalier—To me said she and overturned the table on which her materials lay in haste to take it
When we thought she had had time to consider of the contents we sent up to request the favour of speaking with Mrs Beaumont We owned to her that we had a copy of your Letter to Clementina and asked What the dear creature said to the contents of it
She read it answered Mrs Beaumont in her own closet I thought she was too long by herself I went to her She was in tears O Mrs Beaumont as soon as she saw me holding out the Letter—See here—The Chevalier is against me—Cruel I could almost say cruel Grandison—He turns my own words upon me I have furnished him with arguments against myself—What shall I do—I have for many days past repented that I gave under my hand reason to my friends to expect my compliance I cannot cannot confirm the hopes I gave—What shall I do
I took it read it continued Mrs Beaumont and told her that the Chevaliers arguments were unanswerable I dwelt upon some of them She wept and was silent
We then my dear Grandison shewed Mrs Beaumont your Letter to me She read it—How said
she has this excellent young man been embarassed I know from some of my countrymen the character of the Lady whom he mentions She is an excellent woman—May I take up this Letter and read it to Lady Clementina
By all means answered the General and support dear madam the contents of both with your weight It will be from perverseness now if she withstand us Bid her remember that she has had once at her feet a kneeling father Bid her remember the written hopes she has given us
Mrs Beaumont went up with it I will give you an account of what my sister said as she read it O Grandison read it but cursorily You will more and more admire and love the Clementina who before her malady was always considered as one of the first of women and the glory of our house
She desired to have it in her own hands Mrs Beaumont to whose pen we owe the account looked over her and followed her eye as she read a).
And did he still said she after he had got to England hope for a change in my resolution
—Heaven knows—She stopt sighed and read on
He foresaw that my friends would press me to marry
—I foresaw it too—I have indeed been pressed vehemently pressed
Rather than any other
—Ah Chevalier—Why why were the obstacles Religion and Country None less should have—She stopt—Then reading to herself proceeded
It was not presumptuous to hope
—No Grandison presumptuous it could not be
It was justice to Clementina to attend the event and to wait for the promised Letter
Kind considerate Grandison—You were all patience all goodness—O that—There she stopt Then proceeding
Fourth brother Nor interested in the event
—Indeed I did write so—
Give up all his hopes
—Dear Grandison
It could not be expected that he should give the argument all its weight
—He has given it too much
Duty to yield to the entreaties of all my friends
Ah Grandison
Difficult situations—Difficult indeed And here am I who have more than any other in the world enhanced his difficulties—Unhappy Clementina—Then reading on—
Good God Mrs Beaumont
There is an English Lady with whom he was actually—Does he not hint in Love
—Nay then—Take it take it Mrs Beaumont—I can read no further—Compassion only I suppose brought him over to me—I cannot bear that—Yet snatching it from her and reading
Beauty her least perfection
—Happy English Lady
Either in my eyes or her own
—Have I not wished him such a woman—
Had I never known Clementina
—How could I be so captious
Loves her with a flame as pure as the heart of Clementina
—Thank you Chevalier Indeed I have no impurity in my Love—My God only have I preferred to you And I bless God for enabling me to give so due a preference—
or as her own heart can boast
—Just such a wife did I wish him and shall I not rejoice if such a one will hold out her hand to make him happy
She sighed often as she read on but spoke not till she came to the words
That she was to you what you might truly call a first Love
A first Love repeated she He was indeed mine Permit me to say my dear friends a first and only one
It became him he says in honour in gratitude tho the difficulties in his way seemed insuperable And so they must seem to hold himself in suspense and not offer to make his addresses to any other
woman
—Generous noble Grandison—He did love me—Discouraged as he was nay insulted by some of us Giacomo hears me not looking round her He the generous Grandison did love me She wiped her eyes
Recovering herself and reading on—See here Mrs Beaumont—
He thought himself obliged in honour to me and to the persons themselves to decline proposals of advantage
Surely he must think me an ingrateful creature
But reading on did he
balance in his mind between this Lady and me
—He did But it was because of his uncertainty with me
Reading to herself to the words
Almost an equal interest
How is that said she repeating them—O it is explained—
But when his dear Clementina
Do I go too fast for your eye Mrs Beaumont
began to shew signs of recovery
She sighed
and seemed to confirm the hopes I had given him of my partiallty for him
Modest good man
then did I content myself
says he Look Mrs Beaumont
with wishing another husband to the English Lady more worthy of her than my unhappy situation could have made me
—Excellent English Lady If it were in my power I would make you amends for having shared a heart with you so it seems that ought my circumstances and your merit considered to have been all your own
What a disappointment was my rejection of him
—See these are his words—And these too that
he admires me however for my motives
Marriage he says is not in his power for there is but one woman in the world now I have refused him that he can think worthy of succeeding me
—What honour he does me Thank God she is an English woman O that I had any influence over her Sweet Lady amiable Englishwoman let not punctilio
deprive you of such a man as this—Shew her this Letter my good Grandison Let me transcribe from it rather for your perusal happy English Lady certain passages in it so delicate so worthy of himself and of you
Thousands of whom he is not worthy
he says How how can he say so
She has for an admirer every one who knows her
—She shall have me for an admirer Mrs Beaumont if she will accept of my fourth brother She will accept of him if she deserves the character he gives her Let me tell you Lady that your heart is narrower than that of Clementina if you think it a diminution to your honour that he has loved that Clementina Why cannot you and I be sisters My love shall be but a sisterly love You may depend upon the honour of the Chevalier Grandison He will do his duty in every relation of life What can be your doubts
Even Olivia he says admires you
—And will such a woman stand upon punctilious observances like women of ordinary consequence having to deal with common men—O that I knew this Lady I would convince her that he
can do justice to her greater and to my lesser merits and yet not appear to be divided by a double Love altho he should own to all the world as he says he will
See see Mrs Beaumont these are his very words
his affection for Clementina and glory in it
O Mrs Beaumont how my Soul putting her hand to her forehead then to her heart loves his Soul nor but for one obstacle that would have shaken my Faith and endangered my Salvation had I got over it should his Soul only have been the object of my Love
Let me but continue single my dear friends indulge me in the wish that has been so long next my heart and take not advantage of the hopes I have given
you in writing and I shall pass happily through this short life a life that deserves not the bustle which we make about it Ask me not either to
set or follow the example you propose to me
I cannot cannot do either Unkind Chevalier why why would you strengthen their hands and weaken mine—Yet if it became your justice what had I but justice to expect from a just man who has so eminently performed all his own duties and particularly the filial which he here calls an article of Religion
When she came to the concluding part of this Letter and your wishes for her perfect recovery health and welfare and for the happiness of us all May every blessing said she he wishes us be his
Then folding up the Letter and putting it in her bosom This Letter and that which accompanied it meaning yours to her I must read over and over
Shall I say my Grandison that I halfpity the lovely Harriet Byron tho her name should be changed to yours You must love Clementina Were a sovereign Princess her rival you must Clementina who so generously can give up a Love as fervent as ever glowed in a virgin heart on superior motives motives which regard Eternity and receive joy in the prospect of your happiness with another woman on a persuasion that that woman can make you happier than she herself could because of a difference in Religion
My sister choosing to retire to her closet to reperuse the two Letters Mrs Beaumont knowing our curiosity put down what had passed intending as she said to write a copy of it for you
How were we all on perusing it charmed with our Clementina—I insisted that nothing at present should be said to her of the Count of Belvedere and of our wishes in his favour My father gave into my opinion He said he thought the properest time to
mention the Count to her was when we had an answer to the Letter I wrote to you on the 5th current if that could give us assurances that you had made your addresses to the charming Byron and were encouraged The General was impatient but he acquiesced on finding every one come into my motion but said that if all this lenity did not do he must beg leave to have his own measures pursued
SOME little particularity has appeared in the dear creature since I have written the above She has been exceedingly earnest with her mother to use her interest with my father and us to be allowed to go to England But desires not the permission till you are actually married She pleads my health because of the salutary springs you mention to me
Several other pleas she offered but to say truth they carried with them such an air of flightiness that I am loth to mention them Yet all of them were innocent all of them were even laudable But shall I say that some of them appeared too romantic for a settled brain to be so earnest as she was in having them carried into execution
We have no doubt but all her view is to avoid marriage by such a strange excursion Dear creature said the Bishop speaking of her just now the veil denied her she must have some point to carry I wish we saw less rapidity in her manner
I Grandison for my part remember how much she and we all suffered by denying her the farewelvisit from you on your taking leave of Italy the time before the last
But we think an expedient has offered that will divert her from this wildness as I must call it Mrs Beaumont has requested that she may be allowed to take her with her to Florence for some weeks Clementina is pleased with our readiness to oblige them both and they will soon go
But all this time she is uniform and steady in her wishes for your marriage She delights to hear Mrs Beaumont talk of the perfections of the Lady to whom we are all desirous of hearing you are united You had written it seems to Mrs Beaumont a character given of this young Lady by Olivia upon a personal knowlege of her Mrs Beaumont shewed it to Clementina
How generously did the dear creature rejoice in it Just such a woman said she did I wish for the Chevalier Olivia has shewn greatness of mind in this instance Perhaps I have thought too hardly of Olivia Little did I think I should ever have requested a copy of any-thing written by Olivia Illwill disables us from seeing those beauties in the person who is the object of it which would otherwise strike us to her advantage You must oblige me added she with a copy of this Extract
Oct 20 N S
YOU will be pleased I know my Grandison with every particular that shall tend to demonstrate the pleasure the dear Clementina takes in hoping you will be soon the happy man we all wish you to be
This morning she came down with her work into my chamber I invite myself Jeronymo said she I will sit down by you till you are disposed to rise She then of her own motion began to talk of you and I putting it to her as her mother did yesterday whether she would be really glad to hear of your nuptials received the same answer she then made She sincerely should She hoped the next Letters would bring an account that it was so But then Jeronymo continued she I shall be teazed persecuted Let me not my brother be persecuted I dont know whether downright compulsion is not more tolerable than overearnest entreaty A child in the first instance, may contract herself as I may say within her own compass may be hardened But the entreaty of such
friends as undoubtedly mean ones good dilates and disarms ones heart and makes one wish to oblige them and so renders one miserable whether we do or do not comply Believe me Jeronymo there is great cruelty in persuasion and still more to a soft and gentle temper than to a stubborn one Persuaders know not what they make such a person suffer
My dearest Clementina said I you have shewn so glorious a magnanimity that it would be injuring you to suppose you are not equal to every branch of duty God forbid that you should be called to sustain an unreasonable trial—In a reasonable one you must be victorious
Ah Jeronymo How little do I deserve this fine compliment—Magnanimity my brother—You know not what I yet at times suffer—And have you not seen my reason vanquished in the unequal conflict She wept But let the Chevalier be married and to the Angel that is talked of and let me confort myself that he is not a sufferer by my withholding my hand—And then let me be indulged in the single life in a place consecrated to retirement from this vain world and we shall both be happy
Mrs Beaumont came to seek her I prevailed on her to sit down and on my sister to stay a little longer I extolled my sister to her She joined in the just praise But one act of magnanimity said Mrs Beaumont seems wanting to complete the greatness of your character my Love in this particular case of the expected marriage of the Chevalier Grandison
What is that Mrs Beaumont—All attention
You see his doubts his apprehensions of appearing worthy of the Lady so highly spoken of because of that delicacy of situation which as you observe Olivia also hints at from what may be called a divided Love Miss Byron may very well imagine as his
Love of you commenced before he knew her that she may injure you if she receive his addresses You had the generosity to wish when you were reading those his apprehensions that you knew the Lady and were able to influence her in his favour
Well Mrs Beaumont—
Can I doubt that Lady Clementina is able to set her name to the noble sentiments that so lately on reading his Letter flowed from her lips
What would Mrs Beaumont have me do
Let me lead you to your own closet Pen ink and paper are always before you there Assume your whole noble Self and we shall see what that assumption will produce
All that is in my power to do replied she for promoting the happiness of a man who has suffered so much through my means it is my duty to do
She gave her hand to Mrs Beaumont who led her to her closet and left her there The following is the result Generous noble creature—But does it not shew a raised imagination especially in the disposition of the lines
Best of Men Be ye ONE
Best of Women
CLEMENTINA wishes it
GRANDISON Lady will make you happy
Be it your study to make Him so—
Happy as CLEMENTINA would have made him
Had not obstacles invincible intervened
This will lessen her regrets
For
His Felicity Temporal and Eternal
Was ever the wish next her heart
GOD be merciful to you both
And lead you into his paths
Then will everlasting Happiness be your portion
Be it the portion of CLEMENTINA—
Pray for Her—
That after this transitory life is over
She may partake of Heavenly Bliss
And
Not a stranger to you Lady HERE
Rejoice with you both HEREAFTER
CLEMENTINA della PORRETTA
The admirable creature gave this to Mrs Beaumont Send this madam said she if you think proper to your friend and my friend the Chevalier Grandison Tell him that I shall think myself very happy if it may serve as a testimonial to the Lady whose merits intitle her to his Love of my sincere wishes for their mutual happiness Tell him that at present I wish for nothing more ardently than to hear of his Nuptials being celebrated
Dear Grandison let your next give us an opportunity to felicitate you on this desirable event In this wish joins every one of a family to whom you are and ever will be dear Witness for them all
• The Marquis and Marchioness della PORRETTA
• I T R Bishop of Nocera
• JERONYMO della PORRETTA
• J P M MARESCOTTI
• HORTENSIA BEAUMONT
Wednesday Nov 1
HOW Sir have the contents of your friend Jeronymos Letter affected me—I am more and more convinced that however distinguished my lot may be Clementina only can deserve you What a vain creature must I be if I did not think so And
what a disingenuous one so thinking if I did not acknowlege it
I cannot Sir misconstrue your delicate sensibilities My own teach me to allow for yours
Best of men I can I do with Clementina think you But Harriets ambition will be gratified in being accounted second to HER
And does Clementina
wish us ONE
—Most noble most generous of women
Grandison you say will make me happy
But ah my lovely pattern can Harriet he happy even with her Grandison if you are not so
Believe me LADY your happiness will be essential to hers
God give YOU happiness Harriet prays for it
My nextto Divine Monitress it shall be my study to make Him happy
But most excellent of women have you regrets Regrets which can only be lessened by the joy you will have in his happiness—And with another
Superlative goodness
Why why when he would allow to you the exercise of your Religion and only insists on the like liberty are the obstacles you hint at invincible
O Sir I can pursue this subject no further Thus far an irresistable impulse carried me
How should I be able to stand before this Lady were the visit she was so earnest to be allowed to make to England to take place yet in such a case with what pleasure should I pay my reverence to her mind in her person
And does SHE do her family do YOU Sir wish us speedily ONE—Are you not▪ satisfied with the given month—Is not a month Sir your declaration so lately made a short term And let me ask you but within parentheses Do you not on an occasion so very delicate in your limited three days after your return to us treat the notinsensible Harriet a little more
—Help me Sir to a word—than might have been expected from a man so very polite—And can you so generously yet so serously ask me From which parts of the Nuptial Life the LAST What a dreadful idea do you raise in that solemn word or the FIRST I would deduct the weeks or fortnights supposed delay—O Sir what a way of putting it is this—Thus I answer—
From neither
My honour is your honour Determine YOU most generous of men for
Your HARRIET BYRON
Tuesday Oct 31
Honoured Sir
YOU will think your ward very bold to address you by Letter especially as she is a very poor inditer and as you are in town But her heart is in trouble and she must write and must beg the favour of you the most indulgent guardian that ever poor Orphan had to answer her by pen and ink For whether you can forgive her or not she will be equally incapable of bearing your goodness or your displeasure▪ How weakly I express myself I find I shall write worse to you than to anybody else And why Because I wish to write best But I have great awe and no genius I am a poor girl in every sense as you shall hear byandby I hope you wont be very angry with me If you are I shall be worse than poor—I shall be miserable
But to come before my guardian as a delinquent when I have ambition enough to wish to shine in his eyes if so it could have been—It is a very great mortification indeed—If you were to acquit me I shall have had great punishment in that thought
But to open my troubled heart to you—Yet how shall I I thought to tell it you yesterday but for my
life I could not Did you not observe me once Sir hanging upon the back of your chair unable to stand in your sight O how I felt my face glow—Then it was I thought to have spoken my mind but you were so kind so good to me I could not might I have had the world You took my hand—I shall be very bold to repeat it but am always so proud of your kind notice that I cant help it And you said drawing me gently to you
Why keeps my Emily behind me What can I do for my Emily Tell me child Is there any-thing I can do for my ward
Yet tho the occasion was so fair I could not tell you But I shall tire you before I came to the point to the fault I should say that has emboldened me to write
This then is the truth of the matter
My poor mother Sir is very good now you know You have taken from her all her cares about this world She and her husband live together happily and elegantly They want for nothing and are grown quite religious So that they have leisure to think of their Souls good They make me cry for joy whenever I go to them They pray for you and heap blessings upon you and cry to think they ever offended you
But Sir I took it into my head knowing it was a vast way for them to go from Soho to somewhere in Moorfields to hear the preacher they admire so much and coachhire and charities and contributions of one kind or other for their minister has no establishment and old debts paying off that at present tho I believe they are frugal enough they cant be much aforehand—So thought I shall I ride in my guardians coach at one time in Lady Gs at another in Lady Ls at another tho so much better able to walk than my poor mother while she is growing into years and when infirmities are coming on and my guardians example before me so opening to ones heart—I ventured therefore unknown to my mother and
her husband unknown to anybody by way of surprize to bespeak a plain neat chariot and agreed for a coachman and a pair of horses for I had about 130 guineas by me when I bespoke it Out of this thought I which is my own money without account I shall be able to spare enough for the first halfyears expences after which they will be in circumstances to keep it on And as quarters come round thought I I will stint myself and throw in something towards it and then my poor mother and her husband can go to serve God and take sometimes an airing or so where they please and make an appearance in the world as the mother of the girl who is intitled to so large a fortune And I dont grudge Mr OHara for he is vastly tender of my mother now Which must be a great comfort to her you know Sir now she is come to be sorry for past things and apt to be very spiritless when she looks back—Poor dear woman
But here Sir was the thing Believing it became me as Lady L Lady G and Mrs Eleanor Grandison intended to shew their respect to you on a certain happy occasion by new cloaths to shew mine the same way I went to the mercers and was so tempted by two patterns that not knowing which to choose I bought of both not thinking at the time of the bespoken chariot To be sure I ought to have consulted Lady L or Lady G but foolish creature as I was I must be for surprising them too with my fine fancy
Then I laid out a good deal more than I intended in milanery matters Not but I had my pennyworths for my penny But the milaners are so very obliging they shew one this pretty thing and that fashionable one and are so apt to praise ones taste and one is so willing to believe them and to be thought mighty clever that there is no resisting the vanity they raise I own all my folly I ever will Sir when I am guilty
of any greater silliness than ordinary for I have no bad heart I hope tho I am one of the flowers I once heard you compare some of us to who are late before they blow into discretion
But now good Sir came on my distress For the bespoken chariot was ready ready sooner by a fortnight than I expected I thought my quarter would be nearer ended and I had made a vast hole in my money I pulled up a courage I had need of it and borrowed fifty guineas of Lady G but from this foolish love of surprizes cared not to tell her for what And having occasion to pay two or three bills I was a thoughtless creature to be sure which unluckily tho I had asked for them before were brought in just then I borrowed another sum but yet told not Lady G for what and the dear Lady I believe thought me an extravagant girl I saw she did by her looks
But however I caused the new chariot to be brought privately to me I went in it and it carried me to Soho and there on my knees made my present to my mother
But do you think Sir that she and Mr OHara when I confessed that I had not consulted you upon it and that neither Lady L nor Lady G nor yet Mrs Eleanor Grandison knew a syllable of the matter would accept of it They would not But yet they both cried over me for joy and blessed me
It is put up somewhere And there it lies till I have obtained your pardon first and your direction afterwards And what shall I do if you are angry at your por ward who has done so inconsiderate a thing and run herself into debt
Chide me honoured Sir if you please Indeed you never yet did chide me But yours will be chideings of Love of paternal Love Sir
But if you are angry with me more than a day if you give me reason to believe you think meanly of me
tho alas I may deserve it and that this rashness is but a prelude to other rash or conceited steps for that is the fear which most terrifies me and is therefore to be resented with severity then will I fly to my dear Miss Byron that now is—And if she cannot soften your displeasure and restore me to your good opinion—Mere pardon will not be enough for your trulypenitent ward then will I say Burst heart Ingrateful inconsiderate Emily Thou hast offended thy Guardian What is there left in this life that is worth thy cares
And now Sir I have laid my troubled heart open before you I know you will not so much blame the thing even should you not approve of it as the manner doing it after you had been so extremely generous and inconsiderate to my mother without consulting either you or your sisters O my vanity and conceit They they have misled me They never shall again whether you forgive me or not
But good indulgent honoured Sir my Guardian my Protector let not my punishment be the reversing of the gracious grant which my heart has been so long wishing to obtain and which you had consented to of being allowed to live immediately in your own eye and in the presence of my dear Miss Byron that now is This rash action should rather induce you to confirm than reverse it And I promise to be very good I ever loved her I shall add filial honour as I may say to my love of her I never will do any-thing without consulting her and but what you the kindest Guardian that ever poor Orphan had would wish me to do
And now Sir honour me with a few lines from your own hand were it but to shew me that this impertinence has not so far tired you as should you think it just to banish me from your presence for some time
to make you discourage applications to you by pen and ink from Sir
Your truly sorrowful Ward and everobliged and grateful EMILY JERVOIS
Wedn Nov 1
I Write to the dear child of my tenderest cares because she requests me to write Else I had hastened to her in person to comfort her doubting heart and to assure her that nothing but a fault premeditated and persisted in that might have affected her present or future reputation and consequently her happiness could make me for half an hour offended with her Your good intentions my dear child will ever be your security with me Men as well as women are often misled by their love of surprizes But the greatest surprize my Emily could give me would be if she could do any one thing that would shew a faulty heart
Once more my dear pay your duty to your mother in the chariot which has been the causless occasion of so much concern to you and tell her and Mr OHara that they have greatly obliged me in declining the acceptance of the chariot so dutifully presented till they knew my mind But that not so much in the compliment paid to me as your guardian as because it has given me an opinion of their own generosity and discretion Tell them that I greatly approve of this instance of your duty to your mother and of your regard for her sake to Mr OHara Tell them that I join with my everamiable ward in requesting their acceptance of it and do you
my dear tell Miss Jervois that I greatly honour her for this new instance of her goodness of heart
I inclose a note and will to make you easy carry it to its proper account that will enable you to pay the debt which you with so dutiful an intention have contracted—Forgive you my dear I love I admire you for it I will not have you stint yourself as you call it in order to contribute to the future expence of the chariot The present is but a handsome one respecting your fortune Be therefore for your mothers life the whole expence yours and it may possibly contribute not a little to the ease of mind of both as they now live together not unhappily if you have the goodness to assure Mr OHara that you are so well satisfied with his kind treatment of your mother that you will on supposition of the continuance of it before you enter into engagements which may limit your own power or make your will dependent on that of another person secure a handsome provision for him for his life in case he survive your mother
I thank you my dearest ward for the affection you express for my beloved Miss Byron She loves you so tenderly that it would have been a concern to me had she not engaged your love and confidence You highly oblige me by promising to consult her on all material occasions The benefit you will receive from her prudent advice and example and the delight she will receive from your company will be a happiness to all three My Emily may depend upon everything to make it completely so that shall be in the power of
Her faithful Friend and humble Servant CHARLES GRANDISON
Thursday Nov 2
A Few lines Sir a very few—Not to shew my vanity my pride in being allowed to write to my Guardian nor to presume to draw him into an intercourse of Letters No Sir I write only to thank you which I do a thousand thousand times for the ease the joy you have given to my heart O how I dreaded to open your Letter But I could not have expected it to be so very indulgent to a faulty girl Not one rebuke O Sir how very good you are And to send me the money to clear my debts To bid me make my present In so gracious a manner to bid me And to put me upon promising a provision for life for Mr OHara if he survive my mother which will not oblige them to live a narrower life while they are together in order to save in view of such an unhappy event—I flew to them with the good news—I read the whole Letter to them O how their hearts blessed you at their eyes for they could not presently speak and how my tears mingled with theirs O Sir you made us all infants—I for my part am still a baby—Did I ever cry so much for grief as you have made me cry for joy—It is well something nowandthen comes to check ones joy there would be no bearing it else But I shall encroach on your precious time Thank you thank you Sir a hundred thousand times My mother is happy Mr OHara is happy My Miss Byron will soon be the happiest of all human beings thank God—You my Guardian must be one of the happiest of men May everybody else be happy that you wish to be so And then how happy will be good Sir
Your dutiful Ward and obliged Servant ever to be commanded EMILY JERVOIS
They say you set out for Northamptonshire next Monday or Tuesday at furthest Lord bless me—Lord bless you I would say—And bless everybody you love—Amen—for ever and ever
Thursday Nov 2
I Have laid before you my dear Lady G your brothers and Signor Jeronymos Letters as also my answer to your brothers My spirits never were so unequal All joy at one time apprehension at another that something will still happen—Greville is reported to be so gloomy so silent He hates me he says—And here unexpectedly is poor Mr Orme returned Amended in his health a little those who have seen him say and he thinks so—I am glad of it And here are we sitting in judgment my aunt Ladypresident on the patterns you have sent My uncle too will have his opinion be taken—And Mr Deane who threatened he would not come to Selbyhouse till the Settlements were to be signed or read I cannot tell what—will be here on Saturday
MR Orme has desired leave to visit me tomorrow My uncle so hurries my spirit not with his raillery as he used to do—but with his joy He talks of nothing but the coming down of your brother and the limited three days after and numbers the days nay the hours as they fly For he supposes Sir Charles will be here on Monday at furthest and calls that a delay of particular grace and favour For has he not said says he that nothing after Friday can on his part detain him from us
But Lady G will he not write before he comes to my last Say my uncle what he pleases your
brother cant be down before Saturday sennight at soonest
Your fancy and Lady Ls determine us My aunt has undertaken this province She therefore will write to you what she thinks fit Is there not too much glare in the flowered silver as you describe it Dont my dear let me be a bride in a masquerade habit Humility becomes persons of some degree We want not glare We are known to be able to afford rich dresses need them not therefore to give us consequence Simplicity only can be elegance Let me not be gaudy Let not fancy or art or study be seen in my dresses Something must be done I grant on our appearance for an an appearance we must not dispense with here in the country whatever you women of quality may do in town But let me not I beseech you or as little as possible be marked out for a lustre and be so good as to throw in a hint to this purpose to the dear busy girls here as from yourselves for they are exercising their fancies as if I were to be a Queen of the May Your authorities will support me if they give me cause to differ in opinion from them
MISS Orme has just been with me She confirms her brothers amendment She is sorry that his impatience has brought him over when the climate was so favourable to him She says I shall find him sincerely disposed to congratulate me on my happy prospect of which she has given him ample particulars He could not she says but express himself pleased that neither Fenwick nor Greville but that one of so superior a character is to be the man
What greater felicity can a young creature propose to herself in the days of courtship than to find every one in her family and out of it applauding her choice Could I a few weeks ago have thought—But hushed be vanity Pride withdraw Meekeyed
Humility stand forth—Am I indeed to be the happiest of women Will nothing happen—O no no Heaven will protect your brother—Yet this Greville is a trouble to me Not because of my horrid dream I am not so superstitious as to let that disturb me But from a hint he gave Miss Orme
She met him this morning at a neighbouring Ladys He thus accosted her I understand madam that your brother is returned He is a happy man Just in time to see Miss Byron married Fenwick a dog is gone to howl at Carlisle on the occasion Your brother and I have nothing to do but howl in recitative to each other here
My brother Mr Greville said Miss Orme I am sure will behave like a man on the occasion Nor can you have reason to howl as you call it Sir Charles Grandison is your particular friend you know
True Miss Orme affecting to laugh off this hit I thought I could have braved it out but now the matter comes near it sticks here just here pointing to his throat I cannot get it through my gizzard Plaguy hard of digestion making faces in his light way
But will your brother proceeded he be contented to stay within the noise of the bells which will in a few days perhaps be set a ringing for ten m•les round Sir Charles drives on at a d—nable rate I hear
But he must let me die decently I can tell him We will not part for ever with the flower of our county without conditions
Shall you see the Siren madam If you do tell her that I have no chance for peace but in hating her heartily But whispering Miss Orme bid her NOT TO BE TOO SECURE
I was strangely struck with these words for my spirits were not high before I repeated them I dwelt upon them and wept—Fool that I was But
I soon recollected myself and desired Miss Orme not to take notice of my tender folly
Friday
I HAVE had a visit from Mr Orme He has given me some pleasure I added not to his melancholy He asked me several interesting questions which I would not have answered any other man as I told him I shall always value Mr Orme Your brother is the most generous of men But were he not so very generous he ought to allow for my civility to this worthy man since I can applaud him with my whole heart for loving the noble Clementina What a narrowhearted creature must I be if I did not But as a womans honour is of a more delicate nature I believe than a mans with regard to personal love so perhaps if this be allowed me a man may be as jealous of a womans civility in general cases I mean as a woman may be of a mans Love to another object This may sound strange at first hearing Lady G but I know what I mean Nobody else does Harriet perhaps you will say But they would I reply if I were to explain myself which at present if you apprehend me not I have no inclination to do
How did this worthy man praise Sir Charles Grandison He must see that my pride no not pride my gratitude was raised by it as well to the praiser as praised He concluded with a blessing on us both which he uttered in a different manner from what that BalaamGreville uttered his It was followed with tears good man and he left me almost unable to speak How grateful in our ears are the praises bestowed on those whom we fondly love
Lucy thinks I had best go to my grandmammas before he comes down and that he should visit me there from Selbyhouse Neither my aunt nor I am of this opinion but that he should himself go to Shirleymanor and visit us from thence For is not Selbyhouse my usual place of residence My grandmamma
will be delighted with his company and conversation But as he cannot think of coming down before the latter end of next week at the soonest it is time enough to consider of these things Yet can a young creature the awful solemnity so near and with a man whom she prefers to all others find room in her head for any other topic
I have a Letter from my good Mrs Reeves She and my cousin are so full of this happy subject that they invite themselves down to us and hope we will excuse them for their earnestness on this occasion They are prodigiously earnest I wonder my cousin can think of leaving her little boy My aunt says there is no denying them How so—Surely one may excuse ones self to friends one so dearly loves Your presence my Charlotte I own would be a high satisfaction to me Yet you would be a little unmanageable I doubt There can be no hope of Lady Ls But if there were neither she nor anybody else could keep you orderly—Poor dear Emily—My aunt wishes that we could have had her with us But for her own sake it must not be How often do I revolve that reflexion of your brothers that in our happiest prospects the sighing heart will confess imperfection But I will not add another word after I have assured you my dearest Ladies that I am and ever will be
Your grateful and most affectionate humble Servant HARRIET BYRON
Friday Nov 3
REceive dearest loveliest of women the thanks of a most grateful heart for your invaluable favour of Wednesday last Does my Harriet Already
methinks I have sunk the name of Byron into that of Grandison do Mrs Shirley Mrs Selby think that I have treated one of the most delicate of Female minds indelicately in the wish not the prescription I have presumed to signify to the beloved of my heart that within three days after my permitted return to Northamptonshire I may be allowed to receive at the Altar the greatest blessing of my life I would not be thought ungenerous I signified my wishes but I told you in the same Letter that your chearful compliance was to me the great desirable In everything from the date of the condescending Letter before me to the last of my life shall your wishes determine mine I will have your whole heart in the grant of every request I make to you or you shall have the chearful acquiescence of mine with your will Permit me to say that the family punctilio was not out of my thoughts when I expressed my own ardent wishes to you Does not the world about you expect on the return of the happy man a speedy solemnization I imagined that whether he be permitted to make the place of his abode Selbyhouse or Shirleymanor you would not that the happy day should be long deferred which should give him rank as one of the dear family
Our Equipages my dearest life are all in great forwardness In tenderness to you I have forborne to consult you upon some parts of them as my regard for your judgment would othewise have obliged me to do The Settlements are all ready Our good Mr Deane is ready to attend you with them Allow me then to do myself the honour of presenting myself before you at Selbyhouse on Tuesday next I will leave it to you to distinguish the happiest day of my life whether within the succeeding three four five or even six of my return
If I have not your commands to the contrary Tuesday morning then if not Monday night shall
present to you the most ardent and sincere of men pouring out on your hand his grateful vows for the invaluable favour of Wednesdays date which I consider in the sacred light of a plighted Love and as such have given it a place next my heart
My most respectful compliments to all whom we both so justly hold dear conclude me dearest madam
Your most grateful obliged and everaffectionate CHARLES GRANDISON
Monday Morning Nov 6
I Send you my dearest Lady G a copy of your brothers Letter of Friday la•t Lucy has transcribed it for you Lucy is very obliging She desires to be allowed to correspond with you and makes a merit of these transcriptions for an introduction That is her view I give you fair notice of it that you may either check or encourage her as you think fit
Have I not cause to think your brother a little out of the way in his resolution of so sudden a return—This night perhaps or tomorrow morning—I am vexed my dear because he is such an anticipater that he leaves not to me the merit of obliging him beyond his expectation However I shall rejoice to see him The moment he enters the room where I am he can have no faults
My aunt who thinks he is full hasty is gone to dine with my Grandmamma and intends to settle with that dear parent everything for his reception at Shirleymanor Nancy is gone with her My uncle at Mr Ormes invitation is gone to dine with that worthy man
Monday Afternoon
O MY dearest Lady G what shall we do All quarrels are at an end all petulance all folly—I may never never be his at all—I may before the expected time of his arrival be the most miserable of women—Your brother best of men—may be—Ah—my Charl—
TERRIFIED to death my pen fell from my fingers—I fainted away—Nobody came near me I know I was not along insensible—My terrors broke through even the fit I fell into—Nothing but death itself could make me long insensible on such an occasion—O how I shall terrify you—Dearest Lady G—But here here comes my Lucy—Let her give the occasion of my anguish
The following written by Miss Lucy Selby
AT my cousins request while she is lain down I proceed my good Lady G to account to you for her terrors and for mine also—Dear creature—But dont be too much terrified God we hope God we pray will protect your brother Mr Greville cannot be capable of the shocking mischief barbarity villainy which it is apprehended he has in view God will protect your brother
Here a note was brought from an anonymous hand—I dont know what I write from an unknown hand signifying that Mr Greville was heard to threaten the life your brother and we are told by more than one that he is moody and in a bad way as to his mind And he left his house the morning so the note says And that he certainly did and was seen to take the London road with several servants and others—And the dear Harriet has distracted herself and me with her apprehensions My aunt out my uncle out none but maidservants at home We
before he came up to her closet ran up and down directing and undirecting and she promised to go up and try to compose herself till my uncle came from The Park where he is to dine with Mr Orme He is sent for—Thank God my uncle is come—
By Miss Byron
And what my dear Lady G can his coming signify Lucy is gone down to shew him the anonymous writers note Dear dear Sir Lord of my wishes forgive me all my petulance Come safe—God grant it—Come safe And Hand and Heart I will be yours if you require it tomorrow morning
HERE follows the copy of the alarming note I broke the seal It was thus directed
To GEORGE SELBY Esq With speed speed speed
Honoured Sir
A Very great respecter of one of the most generous and noblest of men Sir Charles Grandison I mean informs you that his life is in great danger He over heard Mr Greville say in a rageful manner as by his voice
I never will allow such a prize to be carried from me He shall die the death
and swore to it He was a little in wine it is true and I should have disregarded it for that reason had I not informed myself that he is set out with armed men this morning Make what use you please of this You never will know the writer But love and reverence to the young Baronet is all my motive So help me God
Two of my uncles tenants severally saw the shocking creature on the London road with servants What will become of me before morning if he arrives not this night in safety
Monday Night Eleven
MY uncle dispatched two servants to proceed on the London road as far as they could go for daylight He himself rode to Mr Grevilles Mr Greville had been out all day and well attended—Expected however to return at night—To prepare for his escape who knows after the blackest of villainies My aunt is in tears my uncle recollects aggravating circumstances Our preparations your brothers preparations Mr Deanes expected arrival of tomorrow—Lucy weeps Nancy wrings her hands—Your Harriet is in silent anguish—She can weep no more—She can write no more
Tuesday Morning 8 oClock Nov 7
WHAT a dreadful night have I had Not a wink of sleep
And nobody stirring Afraid to come down I suppose for fear of seeing each other My eyes are swelled out of my head—I wonder my uncle is not down He might give orders about something—I know not what What dreadful visions had I ready as it seemed to continue my disturbance could I have closed my eyes to give seeming form to the flying shadows Waking dreams For I was broad awake Sally sat up with me Such startings such absences—I never was so before Such another night would I not have for the world I can only write Yet what do I write To what purpose—You must not see what I have written Now on my knees praying vowing Now—O my Lucy
LUCY entered just here—Nancy followed her—Nancy tormented me with her resveries of the past night My aunt is not well she has not slept My uncle fell into a dose about his usual risingtime He has had no rest My grandmamma must not know
the occasion of our grief till it cannot be kept from her—If—But no more—Dreadful If—
Tuesday 12 oClock Nov 7
In a small hand under the Superscription of the inner Cover
My dearest Lady G pray read the first page of this Letter before you open the other dreadful one sealed with five seals and stitched to the Cover that it may not slide officiously into your hands Lucy will have me send the whole of that shocking Letter Against my judgment I comply
WE met this morning soulless and forlorn all equally unable either to give or receive consolation The officious note was taken up laid down taken up again the hand endeavoured to be guessed at And at last it was concluded to dispatch a servant to Mr Grevilles to learn news of the supposed traitor
But behold before the servant could return in a ridingdress having alighted at the outward gate entered the hall your noble brother I was the first whom he saw the first who saw him I was just going out intending yet hardly knowing my intention to walk in the Elmrow fronting the house in order to shorten the way of the returning servant with news
He cast himself at my feet Something he said and more he intended to say excusing his early return and thanking me for my favour of the Wednesday before when my joyful surprize overpowered both my speech and senses—And what will you say to me when I tell you that on my recovery I found myself in his arms mine clasped about his neck
He was surprised at my emotion Well he might—Every one in a moment crouded about him—My
aunt also folded her arms around him—Welcome welcome welcome was all she could at the instant say
I utterly abasned trembling and doubting my feet motioned to quit the hall for the parlour—But nobody minded me all were busied in congratulating the joy of every heart till Sally presenting herself I leaned upon her and staggering to the parlour threw myself into an elbowchair
Your brother attended by all my friends followed me in My heart again bid him welcome tho my eye could not at that instant bear his He took my hand as I sat between both his and in the most respectful manner pressing it with his lips besought me to compose myself
They had hinted to him in the hall the cause of all our emotions—They had as much reason to blush as I had—Nancy it seems even Nancy snatched his hand and kissed it in raptures How dear is he to us all He sees it now There can be no reserves to him after this Punctilio Family Punctilio mentioned he in his Letter—We have now no pretensions to it—
His eyes shone with grateful sensibility Look down upon me loveliest of women said he with a bent knee Look down upon me and tell me you forgive me for my early return But tho returned I am entirely at your devotion
Lucy says she never saw me more to my advantage I looked down upon him as he bid me smiling through my tears He stole gently my handkerchief from my halfhid face with it he dried my unaverted cheek and put it she says in his bosom I have lost it
My uncle and aunt withdrew with him and acquainted him with all particulars To them he acknowleged in words of eloquent Love my uncle said the honour done him by me and by us all in the
demonstrations we had given of our tender regard for him
I was by the time of their return to us pretty well recovered Sir Charles approached me without takeing notice of the emotion I had been in Mr and Mrs Selby tell me said he to me that I am to be favoured with a residence at our venerable Mrs Shirleys This tho a high honour looks a little distant so would the next door if it were not under the same roof with my Miss Byron But smiling tenderly upon me I shall presume to hope that this very distance will turn to my account Mrs Shirleys Harriet cannot decline paying her accustomed duty to the best of grandmothers
Bowing I shall not Sir said I be the more backward to pay my duty to my grandmamma for your obliging her with your company
Thus resumed he snatching my hand and ardently pressing it with his lips do I honour to myself for the honour done me How poor is man that he cannot express his gratitude to the object of his vows for obligations conferred but by owning to her new obligation
Then turning round to my aunt—It is incumbent upon me madam said he to pay my early devoirs to Mrs Shirley the hospitable Mrs Shirley repeated he smiling which looked as if he expected to be here There besides looking pleasantly upon my aunt I may be asked—here I am not—to break my fast
This set us all into motion My uncle ran out to look after Sir Charless servants who it seems in our hurry were disregarded Their horses in the courtyard three of them walking about waiting their masters orders My uncle was ready in the true taste of old English hospitality to pull them in
Chocolate was instantly brought for their master and a dish for each of us We had made but a poor
breakfast any of us I could get nothing down before My aunt put a second dish into my hand I took her kind meaning and presented it to Sir Charles How gratefully did he receive it Wiil it always be so Lady G My love heightened by my duty shall not when the obligation is doubled make me less deserving of his politeness if I can help it
But still this dreadful note and Grevilles reported moodiness made us uneasy The servant we sent returned with information that Mr Greville came home late last night He was not stirring it seems tho Eleven oClock when the servant reached his house He is said to be not well and as one servant of his told ours so very fretful and illtempered that they none of them know how to speak to him God grant—But let me keep to myself such of my apprehensions as are founded on conjecture—Why should I not hope the best Is not your beloved brother at present safe And is he not the care of Providence—I humbly trust he is
Sir Charles took the note I think I have seen the hand said he If I have I shall find out the writer I dare say it is written with a good intention
My uncle and we all expressed some in words some by looks our apprehensions
There cannot possibly be room for any said Sir Charles always present to himself Mr Greville loves Miss Byron It is no wonder as his apprehensions of losing all hopes of her for ever grow stronger that he should be uneasy He would make but an ill compliment to her merit and his own sincerity if he were not But such a stake as he has in his country he cannot have desperate intentions I remember to his advantage his last behavour here I will make him a visit I must engage Mr Greville to rank me in the number of his friends
What he said gave us comfort No wonder if we women love courage in a man We ought if it be true
courage like that of your excellent brother After all my dear I think we must allow a natural superiority in the minds of men over women Do we not want protection And does not that want imply inferiority—Yet if there be two sorts of courage an acquired and a natural why may not the former be obtained by women as well as by men were they to have the same education NATURAL courage may belong to either Had Miss Barnevelt for example, had a boys education she would have probably challenged her man on provocation given and he might have come off but poorly
But we have more silly antipathies than men which help to keep us down Whether those may not sometimes be owing to affectation do you Lady G who however have as little affectation as ever woman had determine A frog a toad a spider a beetle an earwig will give us mighty pretty tender terror while the heroic men will trample the insect under foot and look the more brave for their barbarity and for our delicate screaming But for an adventure if a Lover get us into one we frequently leave him a great way behind us Dont you think so Lady G—Were not this Greville still in my head methinks I could be as pert as ever
Sir Charles told us that he should have been with us last night but for a visit he was obliged to pay to Sir Harry Beauchamp to make up for which hindrance he took horse and ordered his equipage to follow him
He is gone to pay his duty as he is pleased to call it to my grandmamma in my uncles coach my uncle with him If they cannot prevail on my grandmamma to come hither to dinner and if she is desirous Sir Charles should dine with her he will oblige her—by my aunts leave was his address to her But perhaps she will have the goodness to add her company to his as she knows that will give us all double pleasure
She loves to give pleasure Often does the dear Lady say
How can palsied age which is but a terrifying object to youth expect the indulgence the love of the young and gay if it does not study to promote those pleasures which itself was fond of in youth Enjoy innocently your season girls once said she setting half a score of us into country dances I watch for the failure of my memory and shall never give it over for quite lost till I forget what were my own innocent wishes and delights in the days of my youth
Tuesday Five oClock
MY uncle and Sir Charles came back to dinner my grandmamma with them She was so good as to give me her company at the first word Sir Charles as we sat at dinner and afterwards saw me weak in mind bashful and not quite recovered and he seemed to watch my uncles eyes and so much diverted him and all of us that my uncle had not opportunity to put forth as usual How did this kind protection assure me I thought myself quite well and was so chearfully silent when Sir Charles talked that my grandmamma and aunt who had placed me between them whispered me severally—You look charmingly easy love—You look like yourself my dear Yet still this mischievous Greville ran in my head
My uncle took notice that Sir Charles had said he guessed at the writer of the note He wished he would give him an item as he called it whom he thought of
You observe Sir answered Sir Charles that the writer says Mr Greville was in wine He professes to be an encourager of the people of the George in Northampton He often appoints company to meet him there I imagine the writer to be the head waiter of the house The bills delivered me in seem to have been writen in such a hand as the note as far as I can carry the hand writing in my eye
Adsheart said my uncle thats undoubtedly right Your names up Sir I can tell you among men women and children This man in his note calls you Look else the most generous and noble of men He says we shall never know the writer—Adsdines the man must deal in art magic that conceals himself from you if you have a mind to find him out
Well but said Lucy if this be so I am concerned for the reality of the information Such threatenings as Mr Greville throws out are not to be slighted Very true said my uncle Mr Deane and I Mr Deane will certainly be here byandby will go and discourse with Greville himself tomorrow please the Lord
Sir Charles begged that this matter might be left to his management Mr Greville and I said he are upon such a foot as whether he be so sincerely my friend as I am his or not will warrant a visit to him and he cannot but take it as a civility on my return into these parts
Should he be affronting Sir Charles Said my uncle—
I can have patience if he should He cannot be grosly so
I know not that replied my uncle Mr Greville is a roister
Well dear Mr Selby leave this matter to me Were there to be danger the way to avoid it is not to appear to be afraid of it One mans fear gives another courage I have no manner of doubt of being able to bring Mr Greville with me to an amicable dish of tea or to dinner which you please tomorrow
Adsheart Sir I wish not to see at either the wretch who could threaten the life of a man so dear to us all
Sir Charles bowed to my uncle for his sincere compliment I have nothing to do said he but to invite myself either to breakfast or dine with him His
former scheme of appearing to the world well with me in order to save his spirit will be resumed and all will be right
My aunt expressed her fears however and looked at me as I did at her with a countenance I suppose far from being unapprehensive But Sir Charles said You must leave me my dear friends to my own methods nor be anxious for my safty I am not a rash man I can pity Mr Greville and the man I pity cannot easily provoke me
We were all the easier for what the charminglycool because truely brave man said on a subject which has given us all so much terror
But was he not very good my dear not to say one word all this day of the important errand on which he came down And to lead the subjects of conversation with design as my aunt and grandmamma both thought as well as I that my uncle should not and to give me time to recover my spirits Yet when he did address himself to me never were tenderness and respect so engagingly mingled This my uncle observed as well as my aunt and Lucy How the duce said he does this Sir Charles manage it He has a way no man but him ever found out—He can court without speech He can take ones heart and say never a word Hay Harriet looking archly
MR Deane is come—In charming health and spirits—Thank God With what cordiality did Sir Charles and he embrace each other
Sir Charles attended my grandmamma home So we had not his company at supper Now convenience without its contrary He is her own son She is his own parent Such an unaffected love on both sides—Such a sweetlyeasy yet respectful familiarity between them What additional pleasures must a young woman in my situation have when she can consider herself as the bond of union between the family she
is of and that she is entering into How dreadful on the contrary must be her case who is the occasion of propagating dissention irreconcilable hatred and abhorrence between her own relations and those of the man to whom she for life engages herself
My grandmother and Sir Charles were no sooner gone than my uncle began to talk with Mr Deane on the subject that is nearest all our hearts I was afraid the conversation would not be managed to my liking and having too just an excuse to ask leave to withdraw from bad or rather no rest last night I made use of it and here in my closet preparing now however for it am I
Your everaffectionate HARRIET BYRON
Wednesday Morning Nov 8
SIR Charles let my grandmother come hither by herself He is gone to visit that Greville We are all in pain for him But Mr Deane comforts us
After breakfast thus began my uncle upon me
Here Dame Selby are we still at a fault Harriet knows not what she would be at and you uphold her in her nonsenses Delicacy Delicacy The duce take me if I have any notion of it—What a pize are you about
Dear Sir why am I blamed said I What would you have me do that I have not done
Do why I would have you give him his Day and keep to it that I would have you do And not shillyshally for ever—and subject the best of men to insults All your men will be easy and quiet when the ceremony is over and they know there is no remedy
My good Mr Selby said my grandmamma you
now blame without reason Sir Charles was full hasty Harriet was a little more nice perhaps her Lover considered than she needed to be Yet I dont know but I in her case should have done as she did and expected as much time as she was willing to take It was not a very long one Mr Selby from the declaration he made and he is a man himself of great delicacy Harriet very readily acknowleged to him the preference she gave him to all them and when she found him very earnest for a short day she by her last Letter threw herself generously into his power He is full of acknowlegements upon it and so he ought to be To me he has said all that a man should say of his gratitude upon the occasion and he declared to me last night that it was with difficulty he forbore taking advantage of her goodness to him But that he checked himself and led to other subjects seeing how much the dear creature was disordered and being apprehensive that if he had begun upon one so interesting or even wished to talk with her alone he should have increased her disorder
Oy Oy Sir Charles is considerate and Harriet should be grateful But indeed my Dame Selby is as silly to the full as Harriet She is for having Harriet keep her in countenance in the dance she led me so many years ago—Lady G for my money She finds you all out in your Masonry
Mr Selby said my aunt I only refer myself to what our venerable parent just said
And so dont think it worth while to hold an argument with me I suppose
I did not know my dear that you wanted to hold an argument
Your servant madam—with that sly leer—So like Harriet and Harriet so like you
But Mr Selby said my grandmamma will you be pleased to tell the dear child if you think her wrong what is the next step she should take
Think her wrong—Next step—Why the next step is as she has promised to oblige him and to be directed by him to keep her word and not hum nor haw about the matter
Mr Deane who had been shewn and told everything that had passed since we saw him last said You dont know that my daughter Byron will make unnecessary parade Mr Selby Sir Charles you find in tenderness to her asked no questions yesterday made no claim—She could not begin the subject
But said Lucy I cannot but say that my cousin is in some fault
Look you there now said my uncle
We all stared at Lucy for she spoke and looked very seriously
Might she not have said proceeded she when Sir Charles surprized her at his first arrival what tho her heart was divided between past terror and present joy Here I am Sir at your service Are you prepared for tomorrow—And then made him one of her best courtesies
Saucebox—Well well I believe I have been a little hasty in my judgment rapping under the table with his knuckles But I am so afraid that something will happen between the cup and the lip—Here last night I dreamt that Lady Clementina and he were going to be married—Give me your hand my dear Harriet and dont revoke the kindness in your last Letter to him but whatever be the day he proposes comply and you will win my heart for ever
As Sir Charles leads Harriet must follow resumed my grandmamma You men are sad prescribers in these delicate cases Mr Selby You will be put to it my dear love taking my hand before this day is over now you seem so purely recovered Sir Charles Grandison is not a dreaming Lover Prepare your mind my child Youll be put to it I do assure you
Why oy I cant but say Sir Charles is a man—Dont you my lovely Love be too much a woman—Too close a copier of your aunt Selby here—and as I said you will have my heart for ever—Oy and Sir Charless too for he is not one of your sorry fellows that cant distinguish between a favour and a folly
My uncle then went out with a flourish and took Mr Deane with him leaving only my grandmamma my aunt my Lucy and your Harriet together
We had a good deal of talk upon the important subject The conclusion was that I would refer Sir Charles to my grandmamma if he were urgent for the day and she was vested with a discretionary power to determine for her girl
Such of my cloaths then as were near finished were ordered to be produced with some of the nuptial ornaments They were all to sit in judgment upon them
Surely Lady G these are solemn circumstances lightly as my uncle thinks of them Must not every thoughtful young creature on so great a change and for life have conflicts in her mind be her prospects ever so happy as the day approaches Of what materials must the hearts of runaways and of fugitives to men halfstrangers to them be compounded
My aunt has just left with me the following Billet from Sir Charles directed to my uncle from Mr Grevilles
Dear Mr Selby
I Regret every moment that I pass out of Selbyhouse or Shirleymanor And as I have so few particular friends in these parts out of your family I think I ought to account to you for the hours I do Nor will I now our friendship is so unalterably fixed and acknowleged apologize for giving myself by this means the consequence with your family that every one of yours for their single sakes are of to me
superadded to the tenderest attachments to one dear person of it
I found the gentleman in a less happy disposition than I expected
It is with inexpressible reluctance that he thinks as my happy day draws near of giving up all hopes of an object so dear to him He seemed strangely balancing on this subject when I was introduced to him He instantly proposed to me and with some fierceness that I would suspend all thoughts of marriage for two months to come or at least for one I received his request with proper indignation He pretended to give reasons respecting himself I allowed not of them
After some canvassings he swore that he would be complied with in something His alternative was the dining with him and with some of his chosen friends whom he had invited
I have reason to think these friends are those to whom he expressed himself with violence at the George as overheard I suppose by the waiter there
He rode out he owned yesterday morning with intent to meet me for he boasts that he knows all my motions and those of a certain beloved young Lady Let him let everybody who think it their concern to watch our steps be made acquainted with them The honest heart aims not at secrets I should glory in receiving Miss Byrons hand from yours Sir before ten thousand witnesses
Mr Greville had rode out the night before he did not say to meet me but he knew I was expected at Selbyhouse either on Monday night or yesterday morning And on his return not meeting me he and his friends passed their night at the George as mentioned and rode out together in the morning—In hopes of meeting me he said and to engage me to suspend my happy day Poor man Had he been in his right mind he could not have hoped had he met
me on the road to have been heard on such a subject
An act of oblivion and thorough reconciliation he calls it is to pass in presence of his expected friends
You will not take notice of what I have hinted at out of the family whatever was designed
In the temper he would have found me in had he met me nothing unhappy could have happened for he is really to be pitied
We are now perfect friends He is full of good wishes He talks of a visit to Lady Frampton of a month I write thus particularly that I may not allow such a subject as this to interfere with that delightful one which engrosses my whole attention and which I hope in the evening will be honoured with the attention of the beloved and admired of every heart as well as of that of
Your everobliged and affectionate CH GRANDISON
Poor wicked Greville—May he go to Lady Framptons or whereever else so it be fifty miles distant from us I shall be afraid of him till I hear he has quitted for a time his seat in this neighbourhood
What a glorious quality is courage when it is divested of rashness When it is founded on integrity of heart and innocence of life and manners But otherwise founded Is it not rather to be called savageness and brutality
How much trouble have I given your brother What dangers have I involved him in It cannot be possible for me evre to reward him—But the proudest heart may deem it a glory to owe obligation to Sir Charles Grandison
Wednesday Night Nov 8
SIR Charles broke away and came hither by our teatime I was in my closet writing They all crouded about him He avoided particulars Only said that all was friendship between Mr Greville and himself and that Mr Greville came with him part of the way full of his resumed scheme of appearing to be upon a good understanding with him and a friend to the alliance between him and us
Sir Charles looked about him as if for somebody he saw not My aunt came up to me My dear do you know who is come She then told me the above particulars We had a summons to tea Down we hastened He met us both at the parlourdoor O madam said he what precious hours have I lost—I have been patience itself
I congratulated him on what my aunt had told me I found he intended as he says in his Billet that the particulars he gave in it should answer our curiosity and to have done with the subject What a charming possession of himself that he could be in such a brangle as I may call it and which might have had fatal consequences yet to be so wholly and so soon divested of the subject and so infinitely agreeable upon half a score others as they offered from one or other as we sat at tea
Tea was no sooner over but he singled me out—May I madam beg the favour of a halfhours audience
Sir Sir hesitated the simpleton and was going to betray my expectation by expressing some little reluctance but recollecting myself I suffered him to lead me into the Cedar parlour When there seating
me—Now madam let me again thank you a thousand and a thousand times for the honour of your last condescending Letter
He but just touched my hand and appeared so encouragingly respectful—I must have loved him then if I had not before
You have my dearest Miss Byron a man before you that never can be ungrateful Believe me my dearest Life tho I have urged you as I have you are absolutely your own mistress of the day and of every day of my life as far as it shall be in my power to make you so You part with power my lovely Miss Byron but to find it with an increase Only let me beseech you now I have given it you back again not to permit your heart to be swayed by mere motives of punctilio
A charming glow had overspread his cheek and he looked as when I beheld him in his sisters dressingroom after he had rescued me from the hands of the then cruel now mortified Sir Hargrave Pollexfen
Punctilio mere punctilio Sir shall not weigh with me What I wrote to you I intend to comply with My heart Sir is—Yours—I would have said—Why would not my tongue speak it—My my I stammered—Why did I stammer—Had I not owned it before to be so—My grandmamma Sir and aunt—I could not at that instant for my life say another word
Sweet confusion I urge you no more on this topic just now I joyfully take your reference Then drawing a chair next me he kissed his own hand and held it out as it were courting mine I yielded it to him as by an involuntary motion—yet my heart was forwarder than my hand He tenderly grasped it—retaining it—and instead of urging the approaching day talked to me as if it were past
I have a request to make to your grandmother your uncle and aunt your Lucy and our Mr Deane it
is a very bold one That when I have been blessed with your hand they will be so good as to accompany their beloved Harriet then no more Byron but Grandison to my familyseat and see the beloved of every heart happily fixed and in possession of it The house is venerable I will not call it old but large and convenient Compassion for your neighbouring admirers will induce you to support me in this request You cannot bear I imagine without a lessening of your own joy if I prove the just the grateful man to you that if I know myself I shall be either to see at church or in your visits those men who preferred you to all women or if they forbear the one or the other to account with a gentle sigh for their forbearance Other women might triumph secretly on such occasions but I even I the successful the distinguished man shall not forbear some inward pity for them Now madam an excursion of a month or two if no more made by those dear friends who otherwise will be loth so soon as I wish to part with you will wean as I may say these unhappy men from you Mr Orme Mr Greville will not then be obliged to quit their own houses and this neighbourhood I shall not whenever I step into company see dejected men whose dejection is owing as they will think to my happiness All your new relations will attend you in turn in the house that I always loved and wished to settle in your own relations with you and witnesses of our mutual happiness—Support me generously support me in this proposal when I shall be intitled by your goodness to make it—Silent my dearest Love—If I have been too early in thus opening my heart to you do me the justice to suppose that it is owing to my wishes to pass over another interesting subject which must take place before my proposal can and which however engages my whole heart
I might well be silent I could not find utterance
for the emotions of my heart I withdrew my hand to take my handkerchief You have often told me Lady G that I was born in an April morning but putting it into my other hand I gratefully I hope not too fondly laid it in his way to take it again He did with an air that had both veneration and gratitude in it—My dearest Life tenderly grasping it—how amiable this goodness—You are not I see displeased
Displeased—O Sir Charles—But alas while I am tootoo happy the exalted Lady abroad—She she only Your friend Jeronymos last Letter—
Thus brokenly did I express what my heart was full of her worthiness my inferiority
Exalted creature—Angelic goodness You are Clementina and Harriet both in one One mind certainly informs you both
Just then came in my aunt Selby I have madam said he to her been making a request to your beloved niece I am exceedingly earnest in it She will be so good as to break it to you and I hope—
O Sir interrupted my too eager aunt supposing it had been for the Day Mrs Shirley has the power—
My dear aunt Selby said I
What have I said Love—
He caught eagerly at it—Happy mistake said he My dear Mrs Selby I thank you
He bowed kissed my hand and left me to go to my grandmamma to inform himself of what he had to hope for as to the Day from her
I told my aunt what the request was and what a conversation we had had And what madam said I have you done
My aunt approved of his proposal It will be the pride of your uncles heart and mine to see you settled in Grandisonhall
What short work did my grandmamma make of it In less than a quarter of an hour Sir Charles returned overjoyed with an open Billet in his hand from the venerable parent This is it
TO me my Harriet you have referred the most important Day of your life May the Almighty shower down his blessings on it Thursday next week is the Day that God willing shall crown the happiness of us all Make no objections my dearest child Hasten to me and say you acquiesce chearfully in the determination of
Your everaffectionate HENRIETTA SHIRLEY
Had you seen my dear Charlotte with what tender respect your brother approached me and with what an inimitable grace he offered me the open Billet how would you have been charmed with him The excellent Mrs Shirley said he would not permit me to bring this inestimable paper folded I have contemplated the propitious lines all the way On my knee let me thank you my dear Miss Byron for your acquiescence with her determination He kissed my hand on one knee
He saw me disturbed Could I help it There is something awful in the fixing of the very Day Lady G but I tried to recover myself I would fain avoid appearing guilty of affection in his eyes I will not add a word more my Angel said he on the joyful subject Only tell me Shall we hasten to attend the condescending parent
My duty to her Sir said I but with more hesitation than I wished shall be an earnest of that which I am so soon so very soon to vow to you And I gave him my hand
There is no describing to you my dear Lady G the looks the manner with which it was received by the most ardent and yet most respectful of Lovers
I had scare approaced my grandmamma and begun to utter something of the much my heart was filled with when my Uncle and Mr Deane by mistake I believe were admitted
Well let us know everything about it said my uncle—I hope Sir Charles is pleased I hope—
The Day was named to him
Well well thank God And he spoke in an accent that expressed his joy
Your niece has pleased you now I hope Mr Selby said my grandmamma
Pretty well pretty well God grant that we meet with no Putoffs I hardly longed so much for my own Day with my Dame Selby there as I have done and do to see my Harriet Lady Grandison—God God bless you my dearest love and kissed my cheek—You have been very very good in the main—And but for Dame Selby would have been better as far as I know
You dont do me justice my dear replied my aunt
Dont I—Nor did I ever—taking kindly her hand—It was impossible my dear Sir Charles Grandison for such a man as I to do justice to this excellent woman You never Sir will be so froppish as I have been It was in my nature I could not help it But I was always sorry for it afterwards—But if Harriet make you no worse a wife than my Dame Selby has made me you will not be unhappy—And yet I was led a tedious dance after her before I knew what she would be at—I had like to have forgot that But one thing I have to request proceeded my uncle—Mr Deane and I have been talking of it—God bless your dear souls all of you oblige me—It is That we may have a joyful Day of it and that all our neighbours and tenants may rejoice with us I must make the village smoke No huggermugger doings—Let private weddings be for doubtful happiness—
O my uncle said I—
And O my niece too I must have it so Sir Charles what say you Are you for chambermarriages—I say that such are neither decent nor godly
But you would not allow Lady G to come off so—And in your own case—
Am for doing as in Lady Gs I must hope to pay my vows at the Altar to this excellent Lady What says my Miss Byron
I Sir hope to return mine in the same sacred place my face as I felt in a glow but yet I shall wish to have it as private as possible
Why oy to be sure—When a woman is to do anything she is ashamed of—I think she is right to be private for example sake Shall you be ashamed Sir Charles
Sir Charles has given it under his hand this very day said Lucy interrupting him as he was going to speak that he shall glory in receiving my cousins hand before ten thousand witnesses
Make but my dearest Miss Byron easy on this head said Sir Charles That task Ladies be yours and so the Church be the place I shall be happy in the manner
The ceremony said my grandmamma cannot be a private one with us Everybodys eyes are upon us It would be an affectation in us, that would rather raise than allay curiosity
And I have as good as promised the two pretty Nedhams said my uncle—and Miss Watson and her cousin are in expectation
O my uncle
Dear Harriet forgive me These are your companions from childhood You can treat them but once in your life in this way They would be glad at heart to return the favour
I withdrew Lucy followed me—You Lucy I see said I are for these public doings—But you would not if it were your own case
Your case is my case Harriet I should hardly bear being made a shew of with any other man But with such a man as yours if I did not hold up my head I
should give leer for stare to see how envy sat upon the womens faces You may leer at the men for the same reason It will be a wicked day after all Harriet for a general envy will possess the hearts of all beholders
Lucy you know my dear Lady G is a whimsical girl
So my dear the solemn Day is fixed If you could favour me with your supporting presence—I know if you come you will be very good now I have not as I hope you will think been guilty of much no not of any parade—Lucy will write Letters for me to Lady D to my cousin Reevess and will undertake all matters of ceremony for her Harriet May I but have the happiness to know that Lady Clementina—What can I wish for Lady Clementina—But should she be unhappy—that would be an abatement of my felicity indeed
There is no such thing as thinking of the dear Emily What a happiness could I have seen Lady L here—But that cannot be May the Day that will in its anniversary be the happiest of my life give to Lord and Lady L their most earnest wishes
Sir Charles dispatches Frederick tomorrow to town with Letters He will bring you mine I would not go to rest till I had finished it
What have I more to say—I seem to have a great deal My head and my heart are full Yet it is time to draw to a conclusion
Let me my dearest Lady G know if I am to have any hopes of your presence Will you be so good as to manage with Emily
My aunt bids me suppose to you that since we are to have all the world of our acquaintance you should bring down your aunt Grandison with you—We have at both houses a great deal of room
Sir Charles just now asked my grandmamma Whether Dr Curtis would be satisfied with a handsome
present if every ones dear Dr Bartlett were to perform the ceremony My grandmamma answered That Dr Curtis was one of my admiring friends He had for years even from my girlhood prided himself with the hopes of joining my hand in marriage especially if the office were performed in Northamptonshire She was afraid he would think himself slighted and he was a worthy man
Sir Charles acquiesced But greatly as I respect Dr Curtis I should have preferred the venerable Dr Bartlett to any man in the world A solemn solemn subject tho a joyful one
Adieu adieu my dear Lady G Be sure continue to love me I will if possible deserve your Love
Witness
HARRIET BYRON
Friday Morning Nov 10
EXpect a Letter of hurry in answer to one two three four five six I dont know how many of yours some filled with tenderness some with love some with nicety sense and nonsense I shall reckon with you soon for one of them in which you take intolerable liberties with me O Harriet tremble at my resentment You are downright scurrilous my dear
I imputed extravagance to Emily in my last The girls a good girl I was too hasty I will shew you two Letters of hers and one of my brother which clears up the imputation I love her more and more Poor girl Love peeps out in twenty places of hers In his he is the best of men But that you knew before
And so the honest man kissed you kissed your lip
O Lud O Lud how could you bear him afterwards in your sight—Forgiving creature—And so you were friends with him before you had time to shew your anger—Nothing like doing impudent things in a hurry—Sometimes respectful sometimes free Why this is the way of all the fellows Harriet—And so they go on till the respectfulness is drawn off and nothing but the lees are left and after two or three months are over the once squeamish palate will be glad of them
I like your uncle better than I like either your aunt or you—He likes me
What a miserable dog Take the word for shortness I am in haste is Sir Hargrave
Your plea against Clementina being compelled or over persuaded the same thing I much like You are a good girl
Betwixt her excellencies and yours how must my brothers soul be divided—I wonder he thinks of either of you Ass and two bundles of hay Harriet But my brother is a nobler animal He wont starve But I think in my conscience he should have you both There might be a law made that the case should not be brought into precedent till two such women should be found and such a man and all three in the like situation
Bagenhall a miserable devil Excellent warningpieces
Wicked Harriet You infected me with your horrible inferences from Grevilles temper threatenings andsoforth The conclusion of this Letter left me a wretch—If these megrims are the effect of Love thank Heaven I never knew what it was—Sufficient to the day andsoforth
Devilish girl to torment me with your dreams If you ever tell me of any more of them except they are of a different sort woe be to you
I like your parting seene and all that Your
realities thank Heaven are more delightful than your resveries I hope youll always find them so
And so you were full of apprehensions on the favour your aunt did me in employing me about your nuptial equipments Long ago
you gave affectation to the winds
Good But the winds would not accept of your present They puffed it you back again and your servants never told you it was brought home I repeat my dear that my brother is much more clever in these scenes of Love and Courtship than his mistress You are a pretty cow my Love You give good store of milk but you have a very careless heel Yet when you bethink you you are very good but not always the same Harriet Your nurse in your infancy seesawed you—Margerydawn—and you cant put the pretty play out of your practice tho it is out of your memory I can look back and sometimes by your frowardness sometimes by your crowing know how it was with you eighteen years ago
My brothers Letter to you after he has mentioned his visits to the two sick Baronets is that of a man who shews you genteelly and politely that he is sensible he has a pretty trifler to deal with I wish you would square your conduct by what you must imagine a man of his sense would think of you I should be too proud a minx in your case to owe obligation to my man for bearing with me—Spare me spare me Harriet I have hit myself a terrible box o the ear But we can find faults in others which we will not allow to be such in ourselves—But here is the difference between your conduct now and what mine was I knew I was wrong and resolved one day to amend You think yourself right and while you so think will hardly ever mend till your man ties you down to good behaviour
Jeronymos Letter O the next to divine Clementina Indeed Harriet I think she outsoars you I adore her But will she be prevailed upon to marry—
She will—If she does—Then—But dear Soul—Pressed as she is—Having refused instead of being refused the beloved of her heart she will still be greater than any of her Sex if she does the man proposed so unexceptionable so tenderly loving her in the height of her calamity as well as in her prosperity—Gratitude to him as well as Duty to her parents parents so indulgent as they have always been to her will incline her to marry May she be happy I am pleased with your solicitude for her happiness
I like your answer to my brother A good and welldeserved resignation Lets see how you keep to it
You do keep to it—as I expected—Ah Harriet you are quite a girl sometimes tho at others more than woman
Will he not ask leave to come down
Fine resignation—
Will he not write first
—Yes yes he will do everything he ought to do Look to your own behaviour child dont fear but his will be all as it should be As to your finery how now Harriet Are you to direct everything yet pretend to ask advice Be contented that everything is done for you of this sort and learn to be humble Sure we that have passed the Rubicon are not to be directed by you who never came in sight of the river But you maidens are poor proud pragmatical mortals You profess ignorance but in heart imagine you are at the tiptop of your wisdom
But here you come with your horrid fears again Would to the Lord the Day were over and you and my brother were—Upon my life—you are a—But I wont call you names
Lucy thinks you should go to Shirleymanor when my brother comes down Egregious folly I did not think Lucy could have been so silly
Concerning our cousin Reevess wanting to be present at your nuptials—your invitation to me—and what you say of Emily—more anon
Well and so my brother has sent you the expected
But you are not pleased with it it seems He is too hasty for you Wheres the boastedof resignation Harriet True Female resignation
Tell Lucy I am obliged to her for her transcriptions I shall be very proud of her correspondence
Your aunt thinks he is full hasty—Your aunts a simpleton as well as you My service to her
But is the D—I in the girl again What would have become of Lady L and me had you not sent both Letters together that relate to Grevilles supposed malignance I tremble nevertheless at the thought of what might have been But I will not forgive Lucy for advising you to send to us your horriblypainted terrors What could possess her to advise you to do so and you to follow her advice I forgive not either of you In revenge I will remind you that you are one of the good women to whom he owes all the embarrasments of his past life
But a caution Harriet—Never never let foolish dreams claim a moment of your attention—Imminent as seemed the danger your superstition made more dreadful to you than otherwise it would have been You have a mind superior to such foibles Act up to its native dignity and let not the follies of your nurses in your infantile state be carried into your maturer age to depreciate your womanly reason Do you think I dont dream as well as you
Well might ye all rejoice in his safety
Hang about his neck for joy
So you ought if you thought it would do him honour Hush hush proud girl dont scold me I think were a king your man he would have been honoured by the charming freedom
Cast himself at your feet
And you ought to have cast yourself at his
There can be no reserve to him after this
you say Nor ought there had it not been for this Did you not signify to him
by Letter that you would resign to his generosity Let me whisper you Harriet—Sure you proud maiden minxes think—But I did once—I wonder in my heart oftentimes—But men and women are chears to one another. But we may in a great measure thank the poetical tribe for the fascination I hate them all Are they not inflamers of the worst passions With regard to the Epics would Alexander madman as he was have been so much a madman had it not been for Homer Of what violences murders depredations have not the Epic poets been the occasion by propagating false honour false glory and false religion Those of the amorous class ought in all ages could their future geniuss for tinkling sound and measure have been known to have been strangled in their cradles Abusers of talents given them for better purposes for all this time I put Sacred poesy out of the question and avowedly claiming a right to be licentious and to overleap the bounds of decency truth and nature
What a rant How came these fellows into my rambling head O I remember—My whisper to you led me into all this stuff
Well and you at last recollected the trouble you have given my brother about you Good girl Had I remembered that I would have spared you my reflexions upon the poets and poetasters of all ages the truly inspired ones excepted And yet I think the others should have been banished our commonwealth as well as Platos
Well but to shorten my nonsense now you have shortened yours—The Day is at last fixed—Joy joy joy to you my lovely Harriet and to my Brother And it must be a public affair—Why—thats right since it would be impossible to make it a private one My honest man is mad for joy He fell down on his knees to beg of me to accept of your invitation and of his company I made a merit of obliging him
tho I would have been as humble to him rather than not be with you and yet by one saucy line I imagine you had rather be without me
Your cousin Reevess are ready to set out
God bless you invite aunt Nell She thinks herself neglected A nephew whom she so dearly loves Very hard she says—And she never was but at one wedding and has forgot how it was and may never be at another—Pink and yellow all is ready provided go down or not—O but if you choose not her company I will tell you how to come off—Give her your word and honour that she shall be a person of prime account at your first Christening Yet she would be glad to be present on both occasions
But ah the poor Emily—She has also been on her knees to me to take her down with me—What shall I do—Dear Soul she embarrasses me I have put her upon writing to her Guardian for his leave I believe she has written If she knew her own case I think she would not desire it
Poor Lady L—She is robbed she says of one of the greatest pleasures of her life Ah Charlotte said she to me wringing my hand these husbands owe us a great deal This is an humbling circumstance Were not my Lord and yours the best of husbands—
The best of husbands Wretches said I You may forgive yours Caroline—You are a good creature but not I mine And something else I said that made her laugh in the midst of her lacrymals But she begs and prays of me not to go down to you unless all should be over with her I can do her no good and only increase my own apprehensions if I am with her A blessed way two poor souls of sisters of us are in Sorry fellows
And yet Harriet with such prospects as these before them some girls leap windows swim rivers climb walls—Duce take their folly Their choice is
their punishment Who can pity such rash souls as those Thanks be praised you Harriet are going on to keep in countenance the two anxious sisters
Who having shot the gulph delight to see
Succeeding souls plunge in with like uncertainty
Says a good man on a still more serious occasion
Good news joyful news—I shall I shall go down to you Nothing to hinder me Lord L proud as a peacock is this moment come for me I am hurrying away with him A fine boy—Sister safe—Harriet Lucy Nancy for your own future encouragement Huzzah girls—I am gone
Thursday Nov 9
MY aunt is so much afraid that everything will not be ready that she puts me upon writting to you to hasten what remains—I am more than half a fool—But that I always was My spirits sink at the thoughts of so public a Day The mind, my grandmamma says can but be full and it would have been filled by the circumstance had not the publicness of the Day given me something more of grievance
I am afraid sometimes that I shall not support my spirits that I shall be ill—Then I think something will happen—Can it be that I shall be the wife of Sir Charles Grandison I can hardly believe it—Sir Charles is tenderly concered for me It would be impossible he says that the Day could be private unless I were to go to London and the very proposing of that would put my uncle out of all patience who prides himself in the thought of having his Harriet married from his own house Nor could I expect my
grandmammas presence He does all he can to assure my heart and divert me A thousand agreeable lively things he says So tender so considerate in his joy—surely I shall be too happy But will you come Can you And if you do will you be good Will you make my case your own
My uncle at times is prodigiously headstrong Every hour he does or says something wrong yet we dare not chide him Thursday next will be one of the greatest days of his life he says and it shall be all his own He either sings hums or whistles in every motion He resolves he says to get his best dancing legs in readiness He started up from table after dinner this day and caught hold of Lucys hand and whisked her round the room Dear toad he called her a comman address of his to Lucy I say because she has a jewel in her head and flourishing about with her in a very humorous manner put her quite out on purpose to laugh at her for she would have been in if he would have let her for the humoursake He was a fine dancer in his youth
Miss Orme breakfasted with us this morning She no doubt threw herself in our way on purpose to hear the news of the appointed Day confirmed My uncle officiously told her it would be one day next week She named the very day and turned pale on his owning she was not mistaken She hoped she said her brother would bear the shock as he had been long destitute of hope But said she he promised me before he went abroad to carry me to London on a visit to some relations there I will remind him and hope to prevail on him to set out next Monday or Tuesday
God bless you my dear Miss Byron said she at parting may your bustle be happily over I shall pity you You will pay for being so universally admired But your penance will be but for two days the very Day and that of your appearance and in both your man will bear you out His merit his person his
address Happy Miss Byron—The universal approbation is yours But I must have you contrive some how that my brother may see him before he is yours His heart will be the easier afterwards
—Sent for down by my grandmamma—Dear Lucy make up the Letter for me I know you will be glad of the opportunity
Continued by Lucy
Will Lady G admit me in this abrupt manner into her Imperial presence I know she will on this joyful occasion accept of any intelligence The poor Harriet My uncle Selby would invite all the country if they came in his way Four of my cousins old playfellows have already been to claim his promise He wished he said he had room for all the world it should be welcome
He will have the Great Barn as it is called cleared out a tight large building which is to be illuminated at night with a profusion of lights and there are all his tenants and those of Shirleymanor to be treated with their wives and such of their sons and daughters as are more than Twelve years old The treat is to be a cold one Hawkins his steward who is well respected by them all is to have the direction of it My uncles October is not to be spared It will cost two days at least to roast boil and bake for them The carpenters are already sent for Half a dozen bonfires are to be lighted up round the Great Barn and the stacks of wood are not to be spared to turn winter into summer as my uncle expresses himself
Neither the poor nor the populace are to be admitted that the confusion almost unavoidable from a promiscuous multitude may be avoided But notice will be given that two houses in the neighbouring village held by tenants of the family and one near Shirleymanor will be opened at Twelve on Thursday and be kept open for the rest of the day
till Ten at night for the sake of all who choose to go thither The Churchwardens are preparing a list of the poor people who on Friday morning were to receive Five shillings apiece which Sir Charles has desired to make Ten on condition that they shall not be troublesome on the day
Poor Sir Hargrave to whom all this joyful bustle is primarily owing—I tell Harriet that she has not with all her punctilio been half punctilious enough She should have had him after all on the motive of Prince Prettiman in the Rehearsal
Dear madam can your Ladyship allow of this idle rattle But I have not time to make up for it by a ceremonious conclusion tho I am with the truest respect Lady Gs
Most obedient humble Servant LUCY SELBY
Saturday Nov 11
I Write a few lines if writing to you I can write a few by the special messenger that carries down all the remaining apparatus which was committed to my care We women are sad creatures for delaying things to the last moment We hurry the men We hurry our workwomen milaners mantuamakers friends allies confederates and ourselves When once we have given the Day night and day we neither take rest nor give it When if we had the rare felicity of knowing our minds sooner all might go on fair and softly But then the gentle passion I doubt would glide into insipidity Well and I have heard my brother say
That things in general are best as they are
Why I believe so for all these honest souls as mantuamakers attirewomen workwomen
enjoy a hurry that is occasioned by a wedding and are half as well pleased with it as if it were their own They simper smirk gossip over Bridal finery spread this upon their arms or shoulders admire that—Look you here—Look you there And is not this—Is not that—And Did you ever—No never in my born days—And is the Bride do you say such a lovely creature—And is the Bridegroom as handsome a man as she a woman—O lud O dear—Would to Heaven Northamptonshire were nearer that one might see how charming how graceful how becoming and soforth
And why should not we women after all contrive to make hurryskurries You see how I correct myself as I go along and make the world think our affairs a great part of the business of it and that nothing can be done without us Since after a few months are over new novelties take place and we get into corners sigh groan look silly and meagre and at last are thrown into straw as it is called poor Carolines case who repines that she cant be present on this new bustle in the family But I am to write her word of everything—Look to your behaviour Harriet on the great occasion
But a word about Caroline—Were it not for her being deprived of this pleasure the good creature would be very happy Lord L and she are as fond as apes She has quite forgot all her sufferings for him He thanks her for his boy She follows with her eye the little stranger and is delighted with all that is done with him to him for him Is pleased with everybody even with the very servants who croud in by permission to see his little Lordship and already claim an interest in him Upon my word she makes a very pretty fond mother And aunt Nell who by the way was at the Cryingout and was then so frighted so thankful to God and so happy in her own situation No not for the world would she be other than she was now grudges the nurses half their cares
What good creatures are we women
Well but I dont know what to do about Emily The first vice of the first woman was curiosity and it runs through all her daughters She has written to her Guardian and nothing but an absolute prohibition will hinder her from making one in your train Did the dear girl know the state of her own heart she would choose to be a thousand miles off rather than go I have set her woman and mine to discourage her I have reasoned with her myself but there is no such thing as giving her ones true reasons nor would I willingly Because she herself having not found out her Love to be Love I hope the fire may be smothered in her own heart by the aid of time and discretion before discovery whereas if the doors of it were to be opened and the air let in it might set the whole tenement in a blaze Her Guardians denial or assent will come perhaps in time yet hardly neither for we shall set out on Monday Aunt Nell is so pleased with her nursery of the little Peer as she primly calls him that you are rid of even her wishes to be with you Being sure of this I complimented her that I knew your aunt Selby would have invited her but that Lady L would not be able to live without her company all the world and the worlds wise attentive and engrossed by your affair She good creature was pleased—So as she could but be thought of importance by somebody I knew she would be happy I told her that you invited nobody but left all to your friends—Ay poor dear Soul said she she has enough to think of well as she loves your brother—and sighed for you—Worthy Ancient The sigh a little deeper perhaps for some of her own Recollections
Mr and Mrs Reeves would not stay for us What will you do with us all—Croud you I sear But dispose of us at Shirleymanor or Selbyhouse as you please Yours and aunt Selbys and grandmamma
Shirleys concern for us is all we are solicitous about But servants rooms nay cocklofts haylofts will do We like to be put to our shifts nowandthen—Something to talk of—
But I can tell you if you dont know it already Lord W and his Lady are resolved to do you honour on this occasion but they will be but little trouble to you My Lords steward has a halfbrother a gentlemanfarmer in your neighbourhood—Sheldon—They will be there But perhaps you know of this a better way They will make a splendid part of your train Gratitude is their inducement
Lord L has just now told me that my sister in tenderness to him and in honour to you has besought him to be present O Harriet what will you do with yourself—Aunt Nell and I have the heartburn for you But Lord L must be welcome He is one of those who so faithfully kept your secret
So in our equipages will be Lord L my honest man Emily and your Charlotte Lord Ls equipages will be at the service of any of your guests as will our spare one—I wish Beauchamp could permit himself to be present I hope he will on the nuptials of the friend so dear to him with a Lady he so greatly admires
My woman and Emilys will be all our Female attendants One nook will serve them both
My poor man will be mad before the day comes He does love you Harriet My brother he says will be the happiest man in the world—himself excepted—A hypocrite He just popt this in to save himself—Why dost make this exception friend said I—Thou knowest it to be a mere compliment—Indeed indeed two indeeds which implied that one might have been doubted I am now A sarcasm in his word now as happy as mortal man can be—Ah flatterer and shook my head—A recognition of my sovereignty however in his being afraid to speak his conscience A little of
the old leaven Harriet I cant help it It is got out of my heart half out of my head but when I take the pen it will tingle nowandthen at my fingers end
Adieu my Love God bless you—I can enter into your joy A Love so pure and so fervent The man Sir Charles Grandison—And into your pain also in view of a solemnity so near and to you so awful With all my roguery I sympathize with you I have not either a wicked or unfeeling heart Such as yours however are the true spirits such as mine are only bully and flash
Lucy you are a good girl I like the whim of your concluding for Harriet I also like your tenants diningroom and other managements as the affair must unavoidably be a public one
Neither of you say a word of good Mr Deane I hope he is with you He cannot be a cypher whereever be comes except on the rightside of the figure to increase its consequence Dont be afraid of your uncle I I I will manage him never fear
There are other passages Harriet in your last Letter which I ought to have answered to—But forgive me my dear I had laid it by tho pleased with it in the main and having answered the most material part by dispatching your things forgot it as much as if I had not received it till the moment I came to conclude Once more Adieu my dearest Harriet
CH G
Friday Nov 10
NO sooner dear and honoured Sir is one boon granted me but I have another to beg yet I blush as I write for my troublesomeness I told you
Sir I had furnished myself with new cloaths on a very joyful occasion—Indeed it is on a very joyful occasion You would lay me under a new obligation to your goodness if you would be pleased to allow me to attend Lady G in her journey down I shall know by this fresh favour that you have quite forgiven your dutiful ward I presume not to add another word—But I dare say dear Miss Byron that now is will not be against it if you are not—God bless you my honoured good Sir—But God I hope I am sure will bless you and so shall I as surely I ought whether you grant this favour or not to
Your everobliged and grateful EMILY JERVOIS
Sunday Nov 12
IT would give me great pain to deny to my good Miss Jervois the grant of any request she shall think fit to make to me You shall know you say by the grant of this favour that I have quite forgiven my ward Was such a test wanted my dear I assure you that what you have lately done for your mother tho I was not consulted in it has heightened my opinion of the worthiness of your heart
As to your request I have pleasure in leaving everything relating to the happy event to my beloved Miss Byron and her friends I will entreat her to underwrite her mind on this subject She grieves that the solemnity cannot be private which beloved as she is in this neighbourhood would be vain to attempt
If her aunt has no objection from want of room there cannot my dear Emily be any from
Your affectionate and true Friend CH GRANDISON
Underwritten
My dearest Miss Jervois will excuse me that I gave her not a formal invitation when I intimated my wishes for Lady Gs presence on the approaching solemn occasion tho at so many miles distance It is a very solemn one Ones heart my dear cannot be so much disengaged as to attend to invitations for the very Day as it might on its anniversary We shall have too great a number of friends O my dear can you bear to make one in so large a company I shall not be able to attend to any of my friends on the Day No not to you my Love Can you bear with my inattention to everybody to every subject but one Can you desire to see your Harriet joyful as the occasion is and the chosen wish of her heart look and behave like a foolish creature If you can and Lady G will take charge of my lovely young friend all mine will rejoice in being able to contribute to your pleasure as well as
Your everaffectionate HARRIET BYRON
Selbyhouse Tuesday Nov 14
WELL my Sister my Friend my dear Lady L how do you As well as can be expected I hope The answer of a thousand years old to every enquirer careful or ceremonious And how does my dear little boy As well as can be expected too—I am glad of it
Here we are—Everybody well and happy
I was afraid my brother would have looked more polite upon us than familiar as he invited us not But no—He was all himself as Harriet says He
met us at our coachdoor He handed out his ward She could not speak Tears were in her eyes I could have beat her with my fan He kissed her cheek My dear child I thank you most sincerely for your goodness to your mother
I was afraid that her joy would then have been too much for her She expanded she collected her plumes Her spread arms soon however closed shewed me that she with difficulty restrained herself from falling at his feet He turned from her to me My best Charlotte how do you The journey I hope has not incommoded you He led me out and taking each of the honest men by the hand My dean Lords you do me honour He then congratulated Lord L on the present you had made him and the family he said
At the innergate met us our sweet Harriet with joy upon one brow half the cares of this mortal life on the other—She led us into the Cedarparlour my brother returning to welcome in the two honest men and threw her arms about my neck—My dearest Lady G how much does your presence rejoice me—I hope and looked at me your journey—Be quiet Harriet—You must not think so much of these matters my Love She was a little abashed—Dont be afraid of me I will be very good said I Then will I be very thankful replied she
My lovely Emily turning to her How does my sweet friend Welcome once more to Selbyhouse
The girls heart was full—She thanking her only by a deep courtesy abruptly withdrew to the window and trying for a third hem in hopes to stifle her emotion it broke into a halfsob and tears followed
Harriet and I looked she compassionately I vexedly I believe and both shook our heads at each other
Take no notice said I seeing Harriet move towards the window to her—It will go off of itself. Her joy to see Harriet thats all
But I must take notice for she found that Emily heard her My dear Emily my lovely young friend—why why—
I will tell you madam interrupted she and threw her arms about Harriets neck as Harriet sitting in the window clasped hers about her waist and I will tell you truth and nothing but the truth—You wrote so cool to me about my coming—And yet I to come But I could not help it—And I thought you now looked a little severely upon me—But Love and I will say Duty to you my dearest Miss Byron AND NOTHING ELSE made me so earnest to come Say you forgive me
Forgive you my dearest Emily—I had only your sake my dear in view If I wrote with less warmth than you expected forgive me Consider my situation my Love You are and ever will be welcome to me Your griefs your joys are mine—Give me which you please
The girl burst into fresh tears—I I I am now as unable sobbed she to bear your goodness as before I was your displeasure—But hide hide me Here comes my Guardian—What now when he sees me thus will become of me
She heard his voice at the door leading in the two Lords and they followed by Mr Selby Mrs Selby Lucy and Nancy
Sir Charles went to the two young Ladies Harriet kept her seat her arms folded about Emily Emilys glowing face in her bosom
Sweet emotion said he my Emily in tears of joy
—What a charming picture—O my Miss Byron how does your tenderness to this amiable child oblige me I sever you not clasping his generous arms about them both
I have afflicted my dear Emily Sir without intending it I wrote coldly my precious young friend thinks and her Love for me makes her sweetlysensible
of my supposed ingratitude But believe me my dear I love you with a true sisterly tenderness
I took the dear girl aside and gently expostulated with her upon the childishness of her behaviour and the uneasiness she would give to Miss Byron as well as to herself by repetitions of the like weakness of mind
She promised fair but Lady L I wish there were more of the child and less of the woman in this affair Poor thing she was very thankful for my advice and expressed how wrong she was because it might discourage her Guardian and Miss Byron that now was from letting her live with them But for my life said she whatever was the matter with me I could not help my foolishness
Miss Nancy Selby took Emily up with her and uncle Selby and I had a little lively hit at each other in the old stile We drew my brother in I had not tried his strength a good while But as Harriet said in one of the sauciest Letters she ever wrote I soon found he was the wrong person to meddle with Yet he is such a charming raillier that I wonder he can resist his talent No wonder Harriet would say because he has talents so superior to that which she says runs away with his poor sister
Emily came down to us very composed and behaved prettily enough But had my brother as much mannish vanity as some of the sorry fellows have who have no pretence for it he would discern the poor Emilys foible to have some little susceptibility in it I am glad he does not for it would grieve him I have already told him of the sufferings of poor Lady Anne S on her hearing he is near marriage and he expressed great concern upon it for that reallyworthy woman
Mr Reeves his wife and Mr Deane were abroad when we arrived They came in to tea Our mutual congratulations on the expected happy event cheared our own hearts and would have delighted
yours Charming charming is the behaviour of my brother to his Brideelect You can have no notion of it because at Colnebrook we always saw him acting under a restraint owing as since we have found to Honour Conscience and a prior Love
He diverts and turns the course of subjects that he thinks would be affecting to her yet in such a manner as it is hardly perceivable to be his intention to do so For he makes something of the begun ones contribute to the new ones so that before uncle Selby is aware of it he finds himself in one that he had not in his head when he sat out—And then he comes with his
What a pize was I going to say But this is not what I had in my head
And then as my brother knows he misses his scent only because it has not afforded the merry mortal something to laugh at he furnishes him with some lively and innocent occasion which produces that effect and then Mr Selby is satisfied Mrs Selby and Lucy see how my brother manages him yet find it so delicately done that something arises from it that keeps the honest man in credit with himself and everybody else for facetiousness goodhumour good heart and those qualities which really are his due and make him in his worst subjects tolerable and in his best valuable
Venerable Mrs Shirley is to be here all tomorrow and next day Mr Deane has chosen Shirleymanor for his abode for the time he stays so has James Selby in order to make more room at Selbyhouse for us women There too Mr and Mrs Reeves take up of choice their lodgings tho here all day
Poor Harriet She told me once that fear makes cowards loving She is so fond of me and Lucy and her aunt at times it would be a sin not to pity her Yet Lucy once tossed up her head upon my saying so—Pity her why yes I think I do now you have put me in the head of it But I dont know whether she is not more to be envied Lucy is a polite girl
She loves her Harriet But she knew I should be pleased with the compliment to my brother
Harriet has just now looked in upon me—Writing Lady G And of me—To Lady L I suppose
She clasped her arms about me Ah madam Thursday Thursday
What of Thursday
Is the day after tomorrow
Every child can tell that Harriet
Ah but I with such happiness before me am sillier than a child
Well but I can tell you something Harriet
What is that
That the next day to Thursday is Friday—The next to that is Saturday—The next—
Pish Ill stay no longer with you giving me a gentle tap—I would not have answered you so
Away she tript desiring her affectionate compliments to dear Lady L
Let me see Have I any more to write I think not But a call for supper makes me leave my paper unsubscribed
EMILY behaved very prettily at supper but it would have been as well if she had not thought so herself For she boasted of her behaviour afterwards to me That made it look like an extraordinary in her own account
Mr Selby sung us a song with a good Foxhunter air There is something very agreeable in his facetiousness But it would become nobody else I think you and I agreed at Dunstable that he is a fine jolly hearty handsomeish man—He looks shrewd arch open a true country gentleman aspect what he says is soso—What he means is better—He is very fond of your Lord—But I think rather fonder of mine—A criterion Lady L
As for Lord G he is in the situation of Harriets
Singleton—He is prepared to laugh the moment Mr Selby opens his mouth especially when he twists his neck about turns a glass upsidedown and looks under his bent brows at the company round yet the table always in his eye For then we know that something is collected and ready to burst forth
Well good night good night good night—Has my Godsonelect done crying yet What a duce has he to cry at Unswaddled unpinioned unswathed legs and arms at full liberty But they say crying does good to the brats—opens their pipes—andsoforth—But tell him that if he does not learn to laugh as well as cry he shall not be related to
CHARLOTTE G
Wedn Nov 15
WEdnesday is come and as Harriet says tomorrow is Thursday Ah Harriet rich as content poor as patience
I have been talking to her Halfcomforting her halflaughing at her She says I am but halfgood—All the world is come—Lord W and his everagreeable Lady Beauchamp as I am alive with them I wish I could see this rogue Emily in love with him He is certainly in love with her
I know it—I know it—Do you go down about your business
Only Lord G come to tell me what I knew before
Harriets gone down to be complimented She has hardly spirits to compliment
Well well Ill only tell Lady L who is come Does not the poor soul keep her bed And are we not to be as complaisant to our ill friends as our well—I am coming Child
Emily with her pretty impertinence Neither Lord G nor Emily can be any-thing, when strangers come and I stand not by them to shew their signification
Duce a third messenger—O Mrs Selby herself Ill tell you more byandby Lady L
Your servant Mrs Selby I attend you
THE two Miss Nedhams Miss Watson Miss Barclay the two Miss Holless Mr Deane—
So so so Harriet said I what is the meaning of this
—My uncles doings I have no spirits Sir Charles should not have been so passive He and nobody else could have prevailed upon my uncle My aunt has held him in till her arms aked O the dear restiff man She has now let go and you see how he prances over the whole meadow the reins upon his neck
Dear girl said I I am glad you are so fanciful
I would fain be lively if I could said she Never any creature had more reason Lady G—My heart is all Gratitude and I will say Love
Good girl hold up your head my dear and all will be as it should be
Sir Charles staid to attend hither the most venerable of women Mr and Mrs Revees are to come with them You must as you expect me to be minute be content with bits and scraps written by snatches of time I pity you for your stilllife my dear Lady L and think your request that I will so write as to make you suppose yourself on the spot a reasonable one
Here is come the man of men
WITH what respect all his Respect has Love in it did he attend Mrs Shirley to her seat And then hastening to Lord and Lady W he saluted them both and acknowleged the honour done him by their presence
an hour he said that he could not have expected nor therefore had the thought the distance so great of asking for it
He then paid his compliments in the most affectionate manner to his amiable friend Beauchamp who on his thanking him for his uninvited presence said He could not deny himself being present at a solemnity that was to complete the happiness of the best of men and best of friends
Sir Charles addressed himself to the young Ladies who were most strangers to him apologizing to them as they were engaged with Mr Selby Mr Deane and Lord G that he did not at first He sat a few minutes with them What he said I heard not but they smiled blushed and looked delighted upon each other Everybody followed him in his motions with their eye So much presence of mind never met with so much modesty of behaviour and so charming a vivacity
The young Ladies came only intendedly to breakfast and that at Mr Selbys odd invitation They had the good sense to apologize for their coming this day as they were to make part of the cavalcade as I may call it tomorrow But the odd soul had met the four at a neighbouring Ladys where he made a gossiping visit and would make them come with him
I observed that nobody cared to find fault with him so I began to rate him and a very whimsical dialogue passed between us at one end of the room while Sir Charles Mrs Shirley Mrs Selby Lady W and Harriet were in close talk at the other
I made the honest man ashamed of himself and everybody in our circle was pleased with us This misled me to go on and so by attending to his nonsense and pursuing my own I lost the opportunity of hearing a conversation which I dare say would have been worth repeating to you by pen and ink Harriet shall write and give it you
Mr Orme and his Sister we are told set out yesterday for London Mrs Selby and Harriet are yet afraid of Greville
The gentlemen and some of the Ladies myself but not Harriet among them have been to look at the preparations made in the lesser Park for the reception of the tenants Mr Selby prided himself not a little on his contrivances there When we returned we found Harriet at one end of the great parlour sitting with Emily her grandmother Mr Selby Lucy in conversation at the other the good girls hand in hers Emily blushing looking down but delighted as it seemed Harriet with sweetness love and compassion intermingled in her aspect talking to her and bending over her her fine neck I thought I never saw her look so lovely Elder sister like and younger one instructing in love the other listening with pleasure They unobserved by themselves took everybodys attention as the room filled with the company who all crouded about Mrs Shirley affecting not to heed the two friends What would I give said Lady W to Sir Charles and her Lord for a picture of those two young Ladies Emily just then kissed the hand of her lovely friend with emotion and Harriet lifted up Emilys to her lips if Love Dignity and such Expression could be drawn in the face of one Lady and that Reverence Gratitude and modest Attention in the other I congratulate you Sir Charles with all my heart I have observed with rapture from every look every word and from the whole behaviour of Miss Byron that your goodness to hundreds will be greatly recompensed O my good Lord W turning to him Miss Byron will pay all our debts
Every attitude every look of Miss Byrons said my Lord would furnish out a fine picture I cannot keep my eye from her whereever she is
My brother bowed delighted
How pleased was Mrs Shirley Mrs Selby—Everybody But what a different man is Lord W to what he once was lifted up from low keeping to a wife who by her behaviour good sense politeness gives him consequence Once I thought him one of the lowest of men I denied him in my heart a relation to my mother and thought him a savage
The two young Ladies finding themselves observed stood up in a parting posture but Emily seeming eager to detain her dear friends attention Harriet took a hand of Emilys in each of hers
I had fidled that way—Yes my dear said the lovely Harriet friendship unalterable by time or fate as you say Dearest Emily command me ever
Emily looked about her—O madam I want to kneel to you I will ever ever—My good Lady G said Harriet approaching me one of Emilys hands in hers we have promised a friendship that is to continue to the end of our lives We are to tell each the other all her faults How causelesly has my Emily been accusing herself—The most ingenuous of human hearts is hers
She left Emilys hand in mine and bent towards Mrs Shirley and the whole circle of friends surrounding her chair
O my dear Lady G said Emily whisperingly as we followed the meekeyed Goodness of Wisdom Such her air her manner her amiableness seemed in my thought at that time to make her never never was such graciousness I cannot hear her goodness What a happy creature shall I be if I follow her example and observe her precepts—You cannot my dear said I have a better guide But Love you must not be capricious as you were at first coming She professed she would not I have been excusing myself to her madam said the dear girl and am 〈…〉
My brother met the lovely creature He took her hand and leading her towards her grandm ther We have been attentive my dearest life to you and Emily You love her She adores you My Beauchamp you know not the hundredth part of the excellencies of this admirable woman
You were born for each other God preserve you both for an example to a world that wants it
Harriet courtesied to Beauchamp Her face was overspread with a fine crimson but she attempted not to speak She squeezed herself as it were between the chairs of her grandmamma and aunt then turned about and looked so charmingly Miss Jervois Sir said she to my brother has the best of hearts She deserves your kind care How happy is she in such protection
And how much happier will she be in yours madam replied he Of what a care my Emily turning to her has this admirable Lady already relieved my heart the care the greater as you deserve it all In everything take her direction It will be the direction of love and prudence What an amiable companion will you make her and how happy will your love of each other make me
Emily got behind me as it were Speak for me to my guardian promise for me madam—You never never shall break your word through my fault
Beauchamp was affected Graciousness said he looking at Harriet and Goodness looking at Emily how are they here united What a happy man will he be who can intitle himself to a Lady formed upon such an example
A sunbeam from my brothers eye seemed to play upon his face and dazle his eyes The fine youth withdrew behind Lady Ws chair Mr Selby who had been so good as to give us his silent attention then spoke with a twang through his nose Adad adad said he I dont know what to make of myself—But go on go on I love to hear you
Your good Lord my dear enjoyed the pleasure we all had Mine tossed up his head and seemed to snuff the wind And yet my dear Lady L there was nothing so very extraordinary said but the manner was the thing which shewed a meaning that left language behind it
My brother is absolutely passive as to the oeconomy of the approaching solemnity Mrs Shirley Mrs Selby Lady W your Charlotte and Lucy are the council appointed but uncle Selby will put in to marshal this happy proceeding What a pize he says is not Harriet his daughter Will it not be his Day
Mrs Selby tries to smile off his oddity but nowandthen we see her goodnaturedly redden at it as if for his sake Lucy looks at her uncle as if she could hardly away with his particularities but Mrs Shirley has always something to say for him She enters into his character She knows the honesty as well as generosity of his heart That it all proceeds from joy and love and always allows for him—As I would have my friends allow for me And to say truth I for my own part like him the better for wanting allowances because his case in that respect is mine Ah my dear it is the thoughtful halfasleep halfawake blinking cat that catches the mouse Such as your Charlotte with their kittenish tricks do but fright away the prey and if they could catch it had rather play with it than kill it
Harriet is with her virgins Her dress is left to her own choice I stept in just now—She met me at her dressingroom door and looked so lovely so silly and so full of unmeaning meaningness Do you understand me Lady L She sighed—What would my Harriet say to me said I taking her hand—I dont know again sighed—But love me Lady G—Can I help it said I and putting my arms about her kissed her cheek
Uncle Selby has provided seven gentlemen of the neighbourhood to match the number of the Ladies for there will be sixteen of us Mr Godsrey Mr Steele Mr Falconbridge three agreeable young men sons of gentlemen in the neighbourhood Mr Selbys chosen friends and companions in his fieldsports his cousin Holles brother to the Miss Holless an admirer of Miss Nedham young Mr Roberts an admirer of Miss Barclay Mr Allestree a nephew of Sir John a young man of sine qualities engaged to Miss Dolly Nedham and Lord Reresby of Ireland related to Mr Selbys favourite Sir Thomas Falconbridge a young nobleman of shining parts great modesty goodnature and what is worth them all Mrs Shirley says a man of virtue
Lord W was very desirous of giving so rich a jewel as Harriet to his nephew in return as he said for as rich a jewel which he had presented to him but Mr Selby would not admit of that I told him on his appeal to me that he was right once in his life
Mr Selby talks much of the music he has provided for tomorrow He speaks of it as a band I assure you
WE have had a most agreeable evening My brother was the Soul of the company His address to his Harriet was respectfullyaffectionate yet for her sake not very peculiar Everybody in turn had his kindest notice and were happy in it The next days solemnity was osten hinted at by Mr Selby and even by my flippant Lord—But Sir Charles always insensibly led to more general subjects and this supported the spirits of the too thoughtful Harriet and she behaved on the whole very prettily His joy visibly was joy but it seemed to be joy of so familiar and easy a nature as if it would last
He once occasionally told the happy commencement
of his acquaintance with Miss Byron on purpose I saw to remind her that he ought not to be thought of as a stranger to her and to engage her in an easy familiarity But there was a delicacy observed by him in the remembered commencement He put it not from the time that he rescued her from Sir Hargrave but from the first visit she made me in St Jamess Square tho she with great gratitude carried it back to its real commencement
Mrs Shirley retired soon as is her custom her Harriet attending her The old Lady is lame and infirm but as she sits is a very fine woman and everybody sees that she was once a beauty I thought I never saw beauty in full bloom so beautiful as when it supported beauty in ruins on the old Ladys retiring with a face so happy leaning one arm on her lovely grandchild a neat crutchstick in the other lightning her weight to the delicatelyformed supporter of her old age It was so striking a picture that every soul all standing up from reverence or her retreating observed it and no one knew which observed it first when the door shurt out the graceful figures
The old Ladys lameness is owing it seems to a sprained sinew got in leading up a dance not many years ago proposed by herself in order to crown the reconciliation which she had brought about between a couple that had till then been unhappy and which her goodnature and joy made her not sensible of till she sat down Pity pity that any-thing should have hurt so benign so chearful so benevolent a woman Why did not Harriet tell us this circumstance It would have heightened our value for her And the more if she had told us as is the truth that she never considers it as a hurt so honourably come by but when she thinks she is troublesome to those about her
Harriet returned to company more chearful than when she left it enriched with her grandmothers
blessings and prayers for her and my brother as she whispered me and in having been allowed to support the tottering parent
Harriet said I aloud you were a very naughty girl to accuse me as once you did of reflecting upon age You never in my eyes looked more lovely than you did half an hour ago supporting the best of old Ladies
We are of your Ladyships mind said Lady W A new grace believe me my dear shone out in every graceful feature
Your kind notice Ladies bowing to me and Lady W does me honour but more to your own hearts
Most gracefully does the dear girl receive and return a compliment but this Lady L I need not now say to you We have both admired her on these occasions How happy will she make a man who can be so sensible of his happiness And how happy will he make her He who has the most grateful and enlarged of human hearts
Mr Deane Sir Charles Lord and Lady W Mrs Shirley Mr and Mrs Selby Lucy Lord L and I withdrew to read and see signed the Marriagearticles soon after tea I tell you things out of course Lady L as they come into my head When they were ready to sign the dear Harriet was sent for in She would not come before She begged she prayed she might not The first line of each clause and the last for form sake were run over by Mr Deane as fast as he could read How the dear creature trembled when she came in and all the time of the shortened reading But when the pen was given her to write her name she dropt it twice on the parchment Sir Charles saw her emotion with great concern and held her up as she stood My dearest life said he take time take time—Do not hurry putting the pen each time with reverence in her fingers She tried to write but twice her pen would not touch the
parchment so as to mark it She sat down Take time take time my Love repeated he She soon made another effort his arm round her waist—She then signed them but Sir Charles held her hand and the parchments in them when she delivered them—
As your act and deed my dearest Love
said Sir Charles—Yes indeed said the dear creature and made him a courtesy hardly knowing what she did
She must hear of this when she can bear it You charged me to be very minute on the behaviour of our Harriet You was sure it would be a pattern But no you see she is too timid
She accompanied me to my chamber when we retired for the night She signed I took notice of it—O my Charlotte said she Tomorrow Tomorrow—
Will be the beginning of your happiness my Harriet—What virgin heart said I but must have had joy on her contemplating the man of sense and politeness had his behaviour of this night only been the test of her judgment of him
True And I have joy But the circumstance before me is a solemn one And does not the obligation lie all on his side
Does he behave to you my Love as if he thought any of it did
O no no But the fact is otherwise and as I know it the obligation is heightened by his polite goodness to me
Dearly does he love his Harriet Tomorrow will you be his Harriet for life Are you not convinced that he loves you
I am I am But—
But what my dear
I never can deserve him Hapless hapless Clementina she only could Let a sortnight after tomorrow be over and she be not un happy and what a thrice happy creature shall I be
I kissed her glowing cheek—Support yourself like a heroine tomorrow my dear You will have a task because of the crouds which will attend you but it is the tax you pay for being so excellent and so much beloved
Is it not strange Lady G that my grandmamma should join to support my uncle in his vehemence for a public day Had it been only his command I would have rebelled
The pride they take in the alliance with my brother not for his situation in life but for his transcendent merit is their motive your grandmothers particularly She considers the day as one of the happiest of her life She has begged of me to support you in undergoing it She says If there should be a thousand spectators she knows it will give pleasure to as many hearts and to hers the more for that reason And you will be continued I so lovely a Pair when joined that every beholder man and woman will give him to you you to him
You are very good my dear Lady G to encourage me thus But I told my grandmother this night that she knew not the hardship she had imposed on me by insisting on a public day but I would not begin so great a change whatever it cost me by an act of opposition or disobedience to the will of so dear a parent But your brother my dear Lady G continued she who would have thought he would have given into it
As your friends mean a compliment to my brother replied I so he by his acquiescence means one to you and to them He is not a consident man He looks upon Marriage in as awful a light as you do but he is not shy of making a public declaration of his Love to the woman he has chosen He has told me talking of this very subject that a public ceremony is not what for your delicacysake he would have proposed But being proposed he would not by any means decline it He had no concern but for you
and he took your acquiescence as a noble instance of your duty and obligingness to one of the most affectionate and worthy of parents
O my dear Lady G how good was you to come down Support me in the arduous task of Tomorrow—You will not want my support my love you will have Sir Charles Grandison bound both by Duty and Love to support you
She threw her arms about me I will endeavour to behave as I ought in a circumstance that shall intitle me to such protection and to such a Sister
My fidgeting Lord thrust in unsent for his sharp face and I chiding him for his intrusion she slipt away or I had designed to a tend her to her chamber and there perhaps should we have staid together most part of the night If I had I dont suppose that I should have deprived her of any rest What makes my foolish heart throb for her so happy as she is likely to be—But sincerely do I love her
I should have told you that Emily behaved very prettily Mr Beauchamp had a rich opportunity to engage her while the settlements were executing
On our return to them the poor girl was wiping her eyes How now Emily said I softly O madam Mr Beauchamp has been telling me how ill Sir Harry is His own eyes set mine the example How I pity him And how good he is—No wonder my Guardian loves him
Beauchamp may possibly catch her in a weeping fit The heart softened by grief will turn to a comforter Our own grief produces pity for another Pity Love They are next neighbours and will call in to ask kindly how a sufferer does And what a heart must that be that will not administer comfort when it makes a neigbourly call if comfort be in its power
Lord G you are very impertinent
I am in the scribbling vein my Caroline And here this man—
Say another word Lord G and Ill sit up all night—
Well well now you return not sauciness for threatening I will have done
Good night—Good morrow rather Lady L—O Lady L Good morrow may it be
CH G
THURSDAY Morning Nov 16
YOU shall find me my dear Sister as minute as you wish Lucy is a charming girl For the humours sake as well as to forward each other on the joyful occasion we shall write by turns
It would look as if we had determined upon a public day in the very face of it were we to appear in full dresses The contrary therefore was agreed upon yesterday But every one however intends to be dressed as elegantly as Morningdresses can make them Harriet as you shall hear is the least shewy All in Virgin white She looks she moves an Angel I must go to the dear girl
Lucy where are you
Here madam—But how can one write when ones thoughts—
Write as I bid you Have I not given you your cue
Lucy taking up the pen Dear Lady L I am in a vast hurry Lord W Lady W and Mr Beauchamp are come in my Lords coach Sir Charles Mr Deane Mr and Mrs Reeves have been here this halfhour Has Lady G dated No I protest We women are above such little exactnesses Dear Lady L the Gentlemen and Ladies are all come They say the Churchyard is crouded with more of the living than of the dead and there is hardly room
for a spade What an image on such a day We are all out of our Wits between joy and hurry My cousin is not well her heart misgives her Foolish girl—She is with her grandmamma and my grandmamma Selby One gives her hartshorn another salts
Lady G Lady G I must attend my dear Miss Byron In an hours time that will be her name no longer
Lady G Here here child—Our Harriets better Lady L and ashamed of herself Sir Charles was sent for up by her grandmother and aunt to sooth her Charming man Tenderness and Love are indeed Tenderness and Love in the brave and manly heart Emily will not be married on any consideration There is a terror and not joy she says in the attending circumstances Good Emily continue to harden thy heart against Love and thoughts of Wedlock for two years to come and then change thy mind for Beauchamps sake
Dear Lucy a line or two more Your uncle I hear his voice summoning—The mans mad mad indeed Lady L—In such a hurry
—Lucy They are not yet all ready
Nor I says the raptured saucyface to take up the pen—Not a line more can I will I write till the knot is tied
Nor I my dear Lady L till I can give you joy upon it
I fib For this hurrying soul him•elf in driving every body else has forgot to be quite ready—But we are in very good time Lucy has brought me up the Order of Procession as Earlmarshal Selby has directed it
Here I pin it on
• First Coach Mr Selbys
• THE BRIDE • Mr SELBY
• Mrs SHIRLEY • THE BRIDEGROOM
• BrideMen Maids
◦ Second Coach Mrs Shirleys
◦ Miss EMILY JERVOIS ◦ Lord RERESBY
◦ Miss NEDHAM ◦ Mr BEAUCHAMP
◦ Third Coach Sir Charless
◦ Miss BARCLAY ◦ Mr FALCONBRIDGE
◦ Miss WATSON ◦ Mr ALLESTREE
• Fourth Coach Lord Ws
• Mrs SELBY • Lord W
• Lady W • Lord L
• Fifth Coach old Mrs Selbys
• Old Mrs SELBY • Lord G
• Lady G • Mr DEANE
• Sixth Coach Mr Reevess
• Mrs REEVES • Mr JAMES SELBY
• Miss LUCY SELBY • Mr REEVES
• Seventh Coach Sir John Holless
• Miss NANCY SELBY • Mr HOLLES
• Miss KITTY HOLLES • Mr STEELE
• Eighth Coach Lord Gs
• Miss PATTY HOLLES • Mr GODFREY
• Miss DOLLY NEDHAM • Mr ROBERTS
Each coach four horses Sir Charless statecoach to be reserved for the day of public appearance
From Selbyhouse to the Church Half a mile in Coaches Footway not so much
Emily was very earnest to be Bridemaid tho advised to the contrary
Mr Beauchamp was a Brideman at his own request also
I will go back to the early part of the morning
We are each of us serenaded as I may say by direction of this joyful man uncle Selby awakened as he called it to music by James Selby playing at each persons door an air or two the words from an Epithalamium whose I know not
The Day is come you wished so long
Love picked it out among the throng
He destines to himself this Sun
And takes the reins and drives it on
It is indeed a fine day The sun seemed to reproach some of us but Harriet slept not a wink No wonder
I hastened up to salute her She was ready dressed Charming readiness my Love said I I took the opportunity while I was able answered she
Lucy Nancy were with her both dressed as she for the Day that they might have nothing to do but attend her What joy in their faces What sweet carefulness in the lovely Harriets—And will this Day said she once in a low voice to me give me to the Lord of my Heart—Let not grief come near it joy can be enough painful
Her grandmamma was soon ready Harriet hurried in to her grandmammaa apartment to crave her blessing
LucyMy cousin her spirits overhurried was ready to saint in her grandmothers arms but revived by the soothings the blessings of her venerable parent soon recovered Let nobody be frighted said
her grandmother Affright not by your hurryings my lovely child A little fatigued her spirits are hurried Her joy is too much for them
What a charming presence of mind has Mrs Shirley Lady G bids me write any-thing to your Ladyship so I will but write and forbids me apologizing either for manner or words
Sir Charles was admitted She stood up the moment she saw him Love and Reverence in her sweet aspect With a kind impatience he hastened to her and threw himself at her feet taking her hand and pressing it with his lips—Resume your magnanimity my dearest Life With the man before you by Gods blessing you will have more than a chance for happiness
Forgive me Sir said she sitting down She could hardly stand I can have no doubt of your goodness But it is a great Day The Solemnity is an awful one
It is a great a solemn Day to me my dearest creature But encourage my joy by your smiles It can suffer abatement only by giving you pain
Generous goodness But—
But what my Love—In compliment to the best of Parents to the kindest of Uncles resume your usual presence of mind I else who shall glory before a thousand witnesses in receiving the honour of your hand shall be ready to regret that I acquiesced so chearfully with the wishes of those parental friends for a public celebration
I have not been of late well Sir My mind is weakened But it would be ungrateful If I did not own to you that my joy is as strong as my fear It overcame me I hope I shall behave better You should not have been called to be a witness of my weakness—
This Day my dearest Love we call upon the world to witness to our mutual vows Let us shew that
world that our Hearts are one and that the Ceremony sacred as it is cannot make them more so The engagement is a holy one Let us shew the Multitude as well as our surrounding Friends that we think it a laudable one Once more I call upon you my dearest Life to justify my joy by your apparent approbation The world around you loveliest of women has been accustomed to see your Lovers shew them now the husband of your choice
O Sir you have given me a motive I will think of it throughout the whole Sacred Transaction She looked around her as if to see if everybody were ready that moment to attend her to Church
Lady G The Ceremony is happily over and I am retired to oblige my Caroline You have the form of the Procession When everthing was ready Mr Selby thought fit to call us down in order into the Great Hall according to it marshalling his Fours and great pride and pleasure did he take in his office At his first summons down came the Angel and the four young Ladies and each of the four had her partner assigned her
Emily seemed between the novelty and the parade to be wholly engaged
Harriet the moment she came down flew to her grandmamma and kneeled to her Sir Charles supporting her as she kneeled and as she arose A tender and sweet fight
The old Lady threw her arms about her and twice or thrice kissed her forehead her voice faltring—God bless bless sustain my child—Her aunt kissing her cheek Now now my dearest Love whispered she I call upon you for fortitude
She visibly struggled for resolution but seemed in all her motions to be in a hurry as if afraid she should not hold it She passed me with such a sweet confusion Charming girl said I taking her hand
as she passed and giving way to her quick motions for fear restraint should disconcert her
When her uncle gave the word for moving and approached to take her hand she in her hurry forgetting her cue put it into Sir Charless Hold hold said her uncle sweeping his bosom with his chin in his arch way that must not yet be My brother kissing her hand presented it in a very gallant manner to her uncle I yield it to you Sir said he as a precious trust in an hours time to be confimred mine by Divine as well as human Sanctions
Mr Selby led the lovely creature to the coach but stopt at the door with her for Mrs Shirleys going in first The servants at distance all admiring and blessing and praying for their beloved young Lady
Sir Charles took the good Mrs Shirleys hand in one of his and put the other arm round her waist to support her What honour you do me Sir said she I think I may throw away this meaning her ebony crutchstick Do I ail any-thing? Her feet however seconded not her spirits My brother lifted her into the coach It was so natural to him to be polite that he offered his hand to his beloved Harriet but was checked by her uncle in his usual pleasant manner Stay your time too ready Sir said he Thank God it will not be so long before both hands will be yours
We all followed very exactly the order that had been with so much proud parade prescribed by Earlmarshal Selby
The coachway was lined with spectators Mr Selby it seems bowed all the way in return to the salutes of his acquaintance Have you never Lady L called for the attention of your company in your coach to something that has passed in the streets or on the road and at the same time thrust your head through the windows so that nobody could see but yourself So it was with Mr Selby I doubt not
He wanted every one to look in at the Happy Pair but took care that hardly anybody but himself should be seen I asked him afterwards If it were not so He knew not he said but it might I told him he had a very jolly comely face to shew but no head He does not spare me But true jests are not always the most welcome Tell a Lady of Forty that she is Sixty or Seventy and she will not be so angry as if she were guessed to be Eight or Nineandthirty The one nobody will believe the other everybody My Lord G I can tell you fares well in Mr Selbys company
Lucy my dear girl take the pen—You dont know you say what I wrote last—Read it my girl—You have it—Take the pen I want to be among them
Lucy Lady G must have her jest whether in the right place or not Excuse me both Sisters How could she however in a part so interesting She says I must give an account of the Procession and she will conduct them into the Church I out of it I cannot she says after so many wishes so many suspenses so much expectation before it came to this be too minute Every womans heart leaps she says when a Wedding is described and wishes to know all how and about it Your Ladyship will know that these words are Lady Gs own But what can I say of the Procession
The poor Harriet—Fie upon me—The rich Harriet was not sorry I believe that her uncles head now on this side now on the other in a manner filled the Coach but when it stopt at the Churchyard an inclosed one whose walls keep off coaches near a stones throw from the Churchporch then was my lovely cousin put to it especially as her grandmother walked so slow We were all out of our Coaches before the Father and the Bride entered the
Porch I should tell your Ladyship that the passage from the entrance of the Churchyard to the Church is railed in Every Sunday the croud gathered to see the gentry go in and come out are accustomed to be bounded by these rails and were the more contentedly so now The whole Churchyard seemed one mass but for that separating passage of living matter distinguished only by separate heads not a hat on the mens pulled off perhaps by general consent for the convenience of seeing more than from designed regard in that particular But in the main never was there such silent respect shewn on the like occasion by mortal mob We all of us Lady L have the happiness of being beloved by high and low
But one pretty spectacle it is impossible to pass by Four girls tenants daughters the eldest not above Thirteen appeared with neat wickerbaskets in their hands filled with flowers of the season Chearful way was made for them As soon as the Bride and Father and Sir Charles and Mrs Shirley alighted these pretty little Floras all dressed in white chaplets of flowers for headdresses large nosegays in their bosoms white ribbands adorning their stays and their baskets some streaming down others tied round the handles in truelovers knots attended the company two going before two other here and there and everywhere all strewing flowers A pretty thought of the tenants among themselves Sir Charles seemed much pleased with them Pretty dears he called them to one of them
God bless you and God bless you was echoed from many mouths Your brothers attention was chiefly employed on Mrs Shirley because of her age and lameness Here my good Lady G perhaps would stop to remark upon the worthy nature of the English populace when good characters attract their admiration for even the populace took notice how right a thing it was for the finest young Gentleman their eyes
ever beheld to take such care of so good an old Lady He deserved to live to be old himself one said They would warrant others said that he was a sweettemperd man and others that he had a good heart In the Procession one of us picked up one praise another another Tho Lady G Lady W and the four Bridemaids as well as the Lords might have claimed high notice yet not any of them received more than commendation We were all considered but as Satellites to the Planetr that passed before us What indeed were more But let me say that Mrs Shirley had her share in Reverence as the lovely Couple had theirs in Admiration But O how my dear cousin was affected when she alighted from her uncles coach
The Churchwardens themselves were so complaisant as to stand at the Churchdoor and opened it on the approach of the Bride and her Nuptial Father But all the pews near the Altar were however filled one or two excepted which seemed to be left for the company with Ladies and welldressed women of the neighbourhood And tho they seemed to intend to shut the doors after we had all got in the Church was full of people Mr Selby was displeased for his Nieces sake who trembling could hardly walk up to the Altar Sir Charles seated his venerable charge on a covered bench on the leftside of the Altar and by her and on another covered bench on the rightside without the rails we all but the Bridemaids and their partners took our seats They stood the Men on the Bridegrooms side the Maids on Harriets—Never—
Lady G
Are you within the Church Lucy—You are I protest Let me read what you have done Come pretty well pretty well—You were going to praise my brother Leave that to me I have an excellent knack at it
Never was man so much and so deservedly admired He saw his Harriet wanted support and encouragement The Minister stood suspended a few moments as doubting whether she would not faint My dearest Love whispered Sir Charles remember you are doing honour to the happy thrice happy man of your Choice Shew he is your Choice in the face of this Congregation Pardon me Sir I will endeavour to be all you wish me
Sir Charles bowed to the Minister to begin the Sacred Office Mr Selby with all his bravery trembled and overcome by the Solemnity of the Preparation looked now pale now red The whole Congregation were hushed and silent as if nobody were in the Church but persons immediately concerned to be there Emily changed colour frequently She had her handkerchief in her hand and pretty enough her sister Bridemaids little thinking that Emily had a reason for her emotion which none of them had pulled out their handkerchiefs too and permitted a gentle tear or two to steal down their glowing cheeks I fixed my eye on Emily sitting outward to keep her in order The Doctor began—
Dearly Beloved
—Ah Harriet thought I thou art much quieter now than once thou wert at these words a
No impediments were confessed by either of the parties when they were referred to by the Minister on this head I suppose this reference would have been omitted by Sir Hargraves snuffling Parson To the question to my brother
Wilt thou have
c he chearfully answered
I will
Harriet did not say I will not
Who giveth this woman
c I I I said uncle Selby and he owns that he had much ado to refrain saying—
With all my heart and soul
Sir Charles seemed to have the office by heart Harriet in her heart For before the Minister could take the
Righthand of the good girl to put it into that of my brother his had knew its office nor did her trembling hand decline the favour Then followed the words of acceptance
I Charles take thee Harriet
c on his part which he audibly and with apparent joy and reverence in his countenance repeated after the Minister But not quite so alert was Harriet in her turn Her hand was rather taken than offered Her lips however moved after the Minister nor seemed to hesitate at the little piddling word obey which I remember gave a qualm to my poor heart on the like occasion The Ring was presented The Doctor gave it to Sir Charles who with his usual grace put it on the singer of the most charming woman in England repeating after the Minister audibly
With this Ring I thee wed
c She brightened up when the Minister joining their Righthands read
Those whom God hath joined together let no man put asunder
And the Ministers address to the company declaring the Marriage and pronouncing them Man and Wife in the name of the Holy Trinity and his blessing them swelled she owns her grateful heart ready to bursting In the Responses I could not but observe that the Congregation generally joined as if they were interested in the celebration
Sir Charles with a joy that lighted up a more charming flush than usual on his face his lively Soul looking out at his fine eyes yet with an air as modest as respectful did credit to our Sex before the applauding multitude by bending his knee to his sweet Bride on taking her Hand and saluting her on the conclusion of the ceremony—May God my dearest Life said he audibly be gracious to your Grandison as he will be good to his Harriet now no more Byron—She courtesied low and with so modest a grace that every soul blessed her and pronounced her the loveliest of women and him the most graceful and polite of men
He invited Dr Curtis to the Weddingdinner and led his Bride into the Vestry where already were her grandmother her aunt Lady W her Lord mine and Lord L She was followed by her Virgin train they by their partners She threw herself the moment she beheld her grandmother at her feet Bless bless madam your happy happy Child
God for ever bless the Darling of my heart
Sir Charles bent his knee to the venerable Lady with such a condescending dignity if I may so express myself Receive and bless also your Son my Harriets reverend parent and mine
The dear Lady was affected She slid off her seat on her knees and with uplifted hands and eyes tears trickling on her cheeks Thou Almighty bless the dear Son of my wishes
He raised her with pious tenderness and saluted her Excellent Lady—He would have said more but was affected—Everybody was—And having seated the old Lady he turned to Mrs Selby—Words are poor said he my actions my behaviour shall speak the grateful sense I have of your goodness saluting her of yours madam to Mrs Shirley and of yours my dearest Life addressing himself to his lovely Bride who seemed hardly able to sustain her joy on so respectful a recognition of relation to persons so dear to her Let me once more added he bless the Hand that has blessed me
She chearfully offered it I give you Sir my Hand said she courtesying and with it a poor Heart—A poor Heart indeed But it is a grateful one It is all your own
He bowed upon her Hand He spoke not He seemed as if he could not speak
Joy Joy Joy was wished the Happy Pair from every mouth See my dear young Ladies said the happy and instructing Mr Shirley addressing herself to them
the Reward of Duty Virtue and Obedience
How unhappy must those Parents and Relations be whose Daughters unlike our Harriet have disgraced themselves and their families by a a shameful Choice—As my Harriets is such looking around her be your Lot my amiable Daughters
They every one besought her Hand and kissed it and some by speech all by looks and courtesies promised to cherish the memory of this happy transaction for their benefit
Emily when she approached the venerable Lady sobbing said Bless me me also bless my dear grandmamma Shirley—Let me be your own Granddaughter—She embraced and blessed the dear girl—Ah my Love said she But will you supply the place of my Harriet to me Will you be my Harriet Will you live with me and Mrs Selby—as Harriet did—Emily started Ah madam you are all goodness Let me try to make myself in some little way agreeable to my dear Miss Byron that was and live a little while in the sunshine of my Guardians eye and then how proud shall I be to be thought in any the least degree like your Harriet
This I thought a good hint of Mrs Shirley Our Harriet my dear Caroline shall not be made unhappy by the chit nor shall the dear girl neither if I can help it be made so by her own foible We will watch over both for the good of both and for the tranquillity of the best of men
Beauchamps joy shone through a cloud because of his Fathers illness but it did shine
Mr Selby and my Lord were vastly alive Lord L was fervent in his joy and congratulations but he was wiser than both put together Nothing was wanting to shew that he was excessively pleased but I was afraid the other two would not have considered the Vestry as part of the Church and would have struck up a tune without music
How sincerely joyful also were Lord and Lady W▪
My Lords eyes burst into tears more than once Nephew and dear Nephew at every word whether speaking of or to my brother as if he thought the Relation he stood in to him a greater glory than his Peerage or aught else that he valued himself upon his excellent Lady excepted
Upon my Honour Caroline I think as I have often said that people may be very happy if not most happy who set out with a moderate stock of Love and supply what they want in that with Prudence I really think that my Brother and Harriet cannot be happier than are this now worthy Couple times of life considered on both sides and my Lords inferior capacity allowed for For certainly men of sense are most capable of joyful sensations and have their balances since it is as certain that they are also most susceptible of painful ones What then is the stuff the nonsense that romantic girls their romancing part of life not wholly elapsed prate about and din ones ears with of first Love first Flame but first Folly Do not most of such give indication of gunpowder constitutions that want but the match to be applied to set them into a blaze Souls of tinder discretions of flimsy gauze that conceal not their folly—One day they will think as I do and perhaps before they have daughters who will convince them of the truth of my assertion
But here comes Lucy—
My dear girl take the pen—I am too sentimental The French only are proud of sentiments at this day the English cannot bear them Story story story is what they hunt after whether sense or nonsense probable or improbable
Lucy
Bless me Lady G you have written a great deal in a little What am I to do
Lady G You brought the Happy Pair into Church I have told Lady L what was done there You are to carry them out
Lucy
And so I will
—My dearest Love said her charming man to my cousin who had a little panic on the thought of going back through so great a croud imagine as you walk that you see nobody but the happy man whom you have honoured with your Hand Everybody will praise and admire the loveliest of women Nobody I hope will blame your Choice Remember at whose request it was that you are put upon this difficulty Your Grandmammas and Uncles She one of the best of women was so married to one the best of men I was but acquiescent in it Shew my dearest Life all your numerous admirers and wellwishers that you are not ashamed of your Choice
O Sir how charmingly do you strengthen my mind I will shew the world that my Choice is my Glory
Everybody being ready she gave her Hand to the Beloved of her Heart
The Bells were set a ringing the moment the Solemnity was concluded and Sir Charles Grandison the Son of our venerable Mrs Shirley the Nephew of my uncle and aunt Selby Husband of my dear and everdear Harriet and the Esteemed of every heart led his graceful Bride through a lane of applauding and decent behaving spectators down through the Church—and still more thronging multitudes in the Churchyard the four little Floras again strewing flowers at their feet as they passed My sweet girls said he to two of them I charge you complete the honour you have done us by your presence at Selbyhouse You will bring your companions with you my Loves
My uncle looked around him as he led Mrs Shirley So proud and so stately By some undesigned change Mr Beauchamp led Miss Jervois She seemed pleased and happy for he whispered to her all the
way praises of her Guardian My Guardian twice or thrice occasionally reported she aloud as if she boasted of standing in some relation to him
The Bride and Bridegroom stopt for Mrs Shirley a little while at the Coachside A very grateful accident to the spectators He led them both in with a politeness that attends him in all he does The Coach wheeled off to give way to the next and we came back in the order we went
Now my dear Lady G you who never were from the side of your dear new sister for the rest of the day resume the pen
Lady G
I will my dear but in a new Letter This fourth sheet is written down to the very edge Caroline will be impatient I will send away this
Joy to my Sister Joy to my Aunt Joy to the Earl To Lady Gertrude To our dear Dr Bartlett To every one on an event so happy and so long wished for by us All
Sign Lucy sign
After your Ladyship
There then
CHARLOTTE G
And There then
LUCY SELBY
THIS happy event has been so long wisned for by us all were so much delighted with the Bride as well as the Bridegroom so many uncertainties so many suspenses have fallen in so little likelihood once that it ever would have been and you are so miserably tied by the leg poor Caroline and so little to divert you besides the once smiling to the ten times squalling of your little stranger that Compassion Love both incite me to be minute that so you may
be as much with us in idea as we all wished you could have been in person
Crouds of people lined the way in our return from Church as well as in our way to it and blessings were pronounced upon the Happy Pair by hundreds at their alighting at Selbyhouse
When we were all assembled in the Great Hall mutual congratulations flowed from every mouth Then did every man salute the happy happy Bride Then did the equallyhappy Bridegroom salute every Lady—There was among us the height of joy joy becoming the awful Solemnity and every one was full of the decency and delight which were given and shewn by the crouds of spectators of all ranks and both Sexes a delight and decency worthy of the characters of the admirable Pair And Miss Nedham declared and all the young Ladies joined with her that if she could be secure of the like good behaviour and encouragement she would never think of a Private Wedding for herself Mr Selby himself was overjoyed too much even to utter a jest Now now he said he had attained the height of his ambition
The dear Harriet could look up She could smile around her I led her with Lucy into the Cedarparlour—Now my dear Love said I the moment we entered it throwing my arms about her just as her lips were joyfully opening to speak to me do I salute my real Sister my Sister Grandison in my dear Lady Ls name as well as in my own God Almighty confirm and establish your happiness
My dearest dearest Lady G how grateful how encouraging to my heart is your kind Salutation Your continued Love and that of my dear Lady L will be essential to my happiness
May our Hearts be ever united replied I But they must For were not our Minds kindred Minds before
But you must love my Lucy said she presenting
her to me—You must love my Grand—Mamma said I catching the word from her your Aunt your Uncle your Cousins and your Cousins Cousins to the twentieth Generation—And so I will Ours yours Yours ours We are all of one Family and will be for ever
What a happy creature am I replied she—How many people can one good man make so—But where where is my Emily sweet girl Bring to me Lucy bring to me my Emily
Lucy went out and led in the sweet girl With hands and eyes uplifted My dear Miss Byron that was now Lady Grandison said she love me love your Emily I am now your Emily your Ward love me as well as you did when Miss Byron
Harriet threw her arms about her neck I do I will I must You shall be my Sister my Friend my Emily now indeed Love me as I will love you and you shall find your happiness in mine
Sir Charles entred his Beauchamp in his hand Quitting his and taking hers he kissed it Once more said he do I thank my dearest Life for the honour she has done me Then resuming with his other hand his Beauchamps he presented each to the other as Brother and Sister
Beauchamp in a graceful manner bowed on her hand She courtefied to him with an air of dignity and esteem
He then turning to Emily Acknowlege my dear said he your elder Sister My Harriet will love her Emily Receive my dearest Life your Ward Yet to Emily I acquit not myself of the power any more than of the will of obliging you at first hand
O Sir said the sobbing girl you are all goodness But I will make no request to you but through my dearest Lady Grandisons mediation If she approve of it first I shall not doubt of its fitness to be complied with
Was not that pretty in Emily—O how Beauchamps eyes loved her
But why Ladies said Sir Charles do you sequester yourselves from the company Are we not all of a Family today The four little Floras with their baskets in their hands were entering the gate as I came in Receive them my Love with your usual graciousness We will join the company and call them in My Beauchamp you are a Brideman restore my Bride to her friends and admirers within
He took Emilys hand She looked so proud—Harriet gave hers to Beauchamp We followed them into the Great Hall Mr Selby had archness in his look and seemed ready to blame us for withdrawing—Sir Charles was aware of him My dear Mr Selby said he Will you not allow us to see the pretty Floras—By all means said Mr Selby and hurried out and introduced them Sweet pretty girls We had more leisure to consider the elegant rusticity of their dresses and appearance They had their baskets in their hands and a courtesy and a blush ready for every one in company Sir Charles seemed to expect that his Bride would take notice of them first but observing that she wanted presence of mind he stept to them took each by the hand the youngest first called them pretty Loves I wish said he I could present you with as pretty flowers as you threw away in honour to this company putting into each basket wrapped up in paper five guineas Then presented them two in each hand to his Bride who by that time was better prepared to receive them with that sweet ease and familiarity which give grace to all she says and does
The children afterwards desiring to go to their parents the polite Beauchamp him elf accompanied by Lucy led them to them and returned with a request from all the tenants that they might have the honour some time in the day to see the Bride and Bridegroom
among them were it but for two minutes What says my Love said Sir Charles O Sir I cannot cannot—Well then I will attend them to make your excuse as well as I can She bowed her thanks
The time before dinner was devoted to conversation Sir Charles was nobodys no not very particularly his Brides He put every one upon speaking in turn For about half an hour he sat between the joyful Mrs Shirley and Mrs Selby but even then in talking to them talked to the whole company Yet in his air and manner to both shewed so much respect as needed not the aid of a particular address to them in words
This was observed to me by good Lord L For Harriet uneasy every eye continually upon her thoughtful bashful withdrawing a little before dinner with a cast of her eye to me I followed her to her dressingroom There with so much expressiveness of meaning tho not of language so much tenderness of love so much pious gratitude so much true virgin sensibility did she open her heart to me that I shall ever revolve what passed in that conversation as the true criterion of Virgin Delicacy unmingled with Affectation Nor was I displeased that in the height of her grateful Selfcongratulation she more than once acknowleged a sigh for the admirable Clementina We just began to express our pleasure and our hopes in the good behaviour of our Emily when we were called to dinner
It was a sumptuous one
Mr Selby was very orderly upon the whole But he remembred he said that when he was married and he called upon his Dame to confirm it he was obliged to wait on his Bride and the Company and he insisted upon it that Sir Charles should
No no no every one said and the Bride looked a little serious upon it But Sir Charles with an air
of gaiety that infinitely became him took a napkin from the butler and putting it under his arm I have only one request to make you my dear Mr Selby—When I am more aukward than I ought to be do you correct me and I shall have both pride and pleasure in the task
Adad said Mr Selby looking at him with pleasure—You may be any-thing, do any-thing; you cannot conceal the Gentleman Adsheart you must always be the first man in company—Pardon me my Lords
Sir Charles was the modestest servitor that ever waited at table while his napkin was under his arm But he laid it down While he addressed himself to the company finding something to say to each in his pithy agreeable manner as he went round the table He made every one happy With what delight did the elder Ladies look upon him when he addressed himself to each of them He stopt at the Brides chair and made her a compliment with an air of tenderness I heard not what it was sitting at distance but she looked grateful pleased smiled and blushed He passed from her to the Bridemaids and again complimented each of them They also seemed delighted with what he said Then going to Mr Selby Why dont you bid me resume the napkin Sir—No no we see what you can do Your conformity is enough for me You may now sit down when you please You make the waiters look aukward
He took his seat thanked Mr Selby for having reminded him of his duty as he called it and was all Himself the most graceful and obliging of men
You know my dear Lady L how much I love to praise my brother Neither I nor the young Ladies not even those who had humble servants present regarded anybody but him My poor Lord—I am glad however that he has a tolerable good set of
teeth—They were always visible A good honest sort of man tho Lady L whatever you may think of him
After dinner at Mr Selbys reminding motion Sir Charles and the men went to the tenants They all wished him joy and as they would not sit down while he stood Sir Charles took a seat among them and all the rest followed his example
One of the honest men it seems remembred the Nuptials of Mr and Mrs Byron and praised them as the best and happiest of the human race Others confirmed his character of both Another knew the late Mr Shirley and extolled him as much Another remembred the birth another the christening of the Bride and others talked of what an excellent creature she was from her infancy Let me tell you Sir said one greyheaded man you will have much ado to deserve her and yet you are said to be as good as you are handsome The women took up the cause They were sure by what they had heard if any man in the world could deserve the Bride it was Sir Charles Grandison and they would swear for him by his looks One of the honest men said they should all have taken it as an hugeous favour were they allowed to wish the Bride joy tho at ever so great a distance
Sir Charles said He was sure the women would excuse her this day and then the men would in complaisance to them We will hope said he looking all round him before we leave Northamptonshire for one happy dinner together
They all got up to bow and courtesy and looked upon each other and the men who are most of them freeholders wished to the Lord for a new election and that he would come among them They had no great matter of fault to find they said with their present representatives but anybody who would oppose Sir Charles Grandison would stand no chance The women joined in the declaration as if
they thought highly as Sir Charles pleasantly observed of their own influence over their husbands They all wondered that he was not in Parliament till they heard how little a while he had been in England
He took leave of the good people who by their behaviour and appearance did as much credit to their landlords as to themselves with his usual affability and politeness repeating his promise of a day of Jubilee as some of them called it
The Ball at the request of the whole company was opened by the Bride and Bridegroom She was very uneasy at the general Call Sir Charles saw she was and would have taken out Miss Nedham but it was not permitted the dear creature I believe did her best at the time but I have seen her perform better Yet she did exceedingly well But such a figure herself and such a partner How could she do amiss
Emily was taken out by Beauchamp He did his best I am sure and almost as much excelled his pretty partner as his beloved friend did his
Emily sitting down by me asked if she did not perform very ill Not very ill my dear said I but not so well as I have seen you dance I dont know said she what ails me My heart is very heavy madam What can be the meaning of it But dont tell Lady Grandison so—Highho—Lady Grandison What a sound is that A charming sound But how shall I bring my lips to be familiarized to it
You are glad she is married my love I dare say
Glad To be sure I am It is an event that I have long long wished for But new names and new titles one knows not how to frame ones mouth to presently It was some time before I could call you
Lady G But dont you pity poor Lady Clementina a little madam
A great deal I do But as she refused my brother—
Ah dear thats the thing I wonder she could—when he would have let her have the free exercise of her Religion
Had you rather your Guardian had had Lady Clementina Emily
O no How can you ask me such a question madam Of all the women in the world I wished him to have Miss Byron But she is too happy for pity you know madam—Bless me What does she look so thoughtful for Why does she sigh so Surely she cant be sorry
Sorry No my Love But a change of condition for life New attachments A new course of life Her name sunk and lost The property person and will of another excellent as the man is obliged to go to a new house to be ingrafted into a new family to leave her own who so dearly love her an irrevocable destiny—Do you think Emily new in her present circumstances every eye upon her it is not enough to make a considerate mind as hers is thoughtful
All these are mighty hardships madam putting up her lip—But Lady G can you suppose she thinks them so If she does—But she is a dear good Lady—I shall ever love her She is an ornament of our Sex See how lovely she looks Did your Ladyship ever see so sweet a creature I never did
Not for Beauty Dignity Ease Figure Modesty good Sense did I ever
She is my Guardianess may I say Is there such a word—I shall be as proud of her as I am of my Guardian Yet there is no cause of sighing I think—See my Guardian her Husband Unfashionable
as the word is it is a pretty word The Houseband that ties all together Is not that the meaning—Look round How does he surpass all men—His Ease talk of Ease His Dignity talk of Dignity As handsome a man as she is a woman See how every young Lady eyes him every young Gentleman endeavours to imitate him I wish he would take me out I would do better
This was the substance of the whispering Dialogue that passed between Emily and me—Poor girl
Mr Selby danced with Lucy and got great applause He was resolved he said to have one dance with the Bride She besought him not to think of it Her grandmamma her aunt intreated for her She desired Sir Charles to interpose—If my dearest Life you could oblige your uncle—I cannot cannot think of it said she
Lady G said Sir Charles be so good as to challenge Mr Selby I stood forth and offered my hand to him He could not refuse it He did not perform so well as he did with Lucy Go said I when we had d ne sit down by your Dame and be quiet You have lost all your credit You dance with a Bride—Some people know not how to bear applause nor to leave off when they are well Lord L took out Mrs Selby She dances very gracefully My Lord you know is above praise The young Lord Reresby and Miss Nedham distinguished themselves My odd creature was in his element He and Miss Barclay and another time he and Emily did very handsomely and the girl got up her reputation Lord W did hobble and not ungracefully with old Mrs Selby who had not danced she said for twenty years before but on so joyful an occasion would not refuse Lord Ws challenge And both were applauded the time of life of the Lady the limpingness of my Lord considered
There was a very plentiful sideboard of rich wines sweetmeats c We all disclaimed formal supper
We went afterwards into country dances Mrs Shirley retired about Ten Harriet took the opportunity of attending her and it was a seasonable relief to her I had an intimation to attend her I found her just dropt on her knees to her grandmamma who with her arms about her neck was folding to her fond heart the darling of it The sweet girl was so apprehensive I was called upon to give my opinion whether she should return to the company or not I gave it that she should and that she should only retire for the night about Eleven As to the Bridemaids I said I would manage that they should only attend her to her chamber and leave her there with her aunt Lucy and me Lord L undertook to make the gentlemen give up form which he said they would the more easily do as they were set into dancing
After all Lady L we women dressed out in ribbands and gaudy trappings and in Virginwhite on our Weddingdays seem but like milkwhite heifers led to sacrifice We ought to be indulged if we are not shameless things and very wrong indeed in our choice of the man we can love
We returned to company The Bridegroom was looking out for us My dearest Life said he Are you returned—I thought—There he stopt
Mr Selby broke from his partner Miss Barclay to whisk into the figure the Bride Sir Charles joined the deserted Lady who seemed much better pleased with her new partner than with her old one Lord W who was sitting down took Mrs Selby and led her into the dance
I drew Miss Nedham to the sideboard and gave her her cue She gave theirs to the three other Bridemaids
About Eleven Mrs Selby unobserved withdrew with the Bride The Bridemaids one by one waited on her to her chamber saluted her and returned to company
The dear creature wanted presence of mind She fell into my reflexion above O my dear Lady G said she was I not right when I declared that I never would marry were it not to the man I loved above all the men in the world
She complimented me twenty times with being very good She prayed for me but her prayers were meant for herself You remember that she told me on my apprehensiveness on the like occasion that fear made me loving to her On her blessing me Ah Harriet said I you now find that apprehension will make one pious as well as loving
My Sister my Friend my own my Carolines my Brothers dear Lady Grandison said I when I left her near undressed God bless you And God be praised that I can call you by these tender names My Brother is the happiest of men You of women May we never love each other less than we do now Look forward to the serene happiness of your future lot If you are the Joy of our Brother you must be our Joy and the Jewel of our Family
She answered me only by a fervent embrace her eyes lifted up surcharged as I may say with tears of joy as in thankfulness
I then rushed downstairs and into the company
My brother instantly addressed me—My Harriet whispered he with impatience returns not this night
You will see Mrs Selby I presume byandby returned I
He took his seat by old Mrs Selby and fell into talk with her to avoid joining in the dances His eye was continually turned to the door Mrs Selby
at last came in Her eyes shewed the tender leave she had taken of her Harriet
My brother approached her She went out He followed her In a quarter of an hour she returned
We saw my brother no more that night
We continued our dancings till between Three and Four
I have often observed that we women whether weakly or robust are hardly ever tired with dancing It was so with us The men poor souls looked silly and sleepy by two all but my ape He has a good many Femalities as uncle Selby calls them But he was brought up to be idle and useless as women generally are I must conclude my Letters whimsically my dear If I did not you would not know them to be written by
Your CHARLOTTE G
EMILY Lucy and I went to pay our morningcongratulations as soon as we arose which was not very early to my brother being told that he was in the Cedar parlour writing He received us like himself I am writing said he a few very short Letters They are to demand the felicitations one of our beloved Caroline one of our aunt Grandison one of the Earl of G and one of our dear Dr Bartlett There is another you may read it Charlotte
That also was a short one to signify according to promise as I found to Signor Jeronymo della Porretta the actual celebration of his Nuptials I returned it—
Like my brother
was all I said It concluded with a caution given in the most ardent
terms against precipitating the admirable Clementina
We went up to the Bride She was dressing Her aunt was with her and her two cousin Holless who went not home the preceding night
The moment we entered she ran to us and clasping her arms about my neck hid her blushing face in my bosom—My dearest dearest Lady G murmured she—Am I indeed your Sister your Sister Grandison And will you love me as well as ever
My dearest lovely Sister My own Sister Grandison My Brothers Wife Most sincerely do I repeat Joy Joy Joy to my Harriet
O Lady G How you raise me Your goodness is a seasonable goodness to me I never never but by yours and your sisters example shall be worthy of your brother
Then disengaging herself from my arms Yesterday Lucy said she was a happy happy Day I have but one one regret—There is a Lady in the world that deserves the best of men better than your Harriet—And lifting up her hands and eyes God preserve and protect her—She shall be the subject of my prayers as often as I pray for myself and for him who is dearer to me than myself
Then embracing Emily Wish me Joy my Love In my Joy shall you find your own
Emily wept and even sobbed—You must you must treat me less kindly madam I cannot cannot bear your good—your goodness On my knees I acknowlege my other Guardian God bless my dear dear Lady Grandison
At that moment as they were folded in each others arms entered my brother—He clasped his round his sweet Bride pardon this intrusion said he—Excellent creature continue to love my Emily—Continue my dear Emily to deserve the sisterly love of my Harriet
Then turning to me saluting me My Charlotte loves my Harriet so does our Caroline She fondly loves you both God continue your love to each other What Sisters has Yesterdays happy event given to each other—What a Wife to me—We will endeavour my Love to her to deserve our happiness and I humbly trust it will be continued to us
He saluted Mrs Selby—My own Aunt Selby What obligations am I under to you and to our venerable Mrs Shirley for giving to an Angel an Angels education and conferring on me the blessing
Congratulate me my dear Cousin Holless saluting each May you both be as happy whenever you alter your single state as I will endeavour to make your lovely Cousin
He withdrew bowing to us and with so much respectfulness to the happy Harriet as delighted us all
Lucy went down with him to pay her morning compliments to the two Grandmammas
Sister said Kitty Holles after he was gone—we never never can think of marrying after we have seen Sir Charles Grandison and his behaviour
Lucy came up with Nancy They embraced their cousin Your grandmamma and my grandmamma my dearest cousin are impatient to see you in your grandmammas chamber and the gentlemen are crying out for their breakfasts in the great parlour We hurried down The Bride threw herself at her grandmammas feet for her blessing It was given in such a tender and pious manner that we were all affected by it The best of Sons of Men said she afterwards has but just left me What a blessing to all around him is a good man Sir Charles Grandison is everything But my dear Loves to the younger Ladies Let a good man let life let manners be the principal motive of your choice In goodness will you have every sanction and your Fathers Mothers Relations
Friends every joy My dearest Love my Harriet taking her hand there was a time that I thought no man on earth could deserve you Now it is my prayer and will be that you may deserve this man But let us join the gentlemen Fear not my Harriet—Sir Charless character will preserve with every one its dignity and give a sanction to the solemnity that has united you to him My dearest Love be proud and look assured You may or who can Yesterdays transaction is your Glory glory in it my Harriet
We attended the two elder Ladies down Harriet as bashful people ever do increased her own difficulties by staying behind with her Lucy We were all seated at the breakfasttables and staid for them Mr Selby grew impatient every one having declared themselves ready for breakfast At last down came the blushing Bride with her Lucy Sir Charles seeing Mr Selbys countenance turning peevishly arch just as he had begun
Let me tell you Niece
and was coming out with something he arose and taking his Brides hand led her to her seat Hush my dear Mr Selby said he Nobody must call to account my Wise and I present—How Sir How Sir Already have I lost my Niece
Not so Mr Selby All her duties will have strength given them by the happy event of yesterday But you must not let a newmarried man see how much easier it is to find fault than to be faultless
Your servant Sir replied Mr Selby—Youll one day pay for your complaisance or my Niece is not a woman But I was ready primed You have robbed me of a jest and that let me tell you would have been more to me than my breakfast
After breakfast Lucy gave us a lesson on the harpsichord Sir Charles accompanied her finger at the desire of the company
Lord and Lady W excused themselves to breakfast
but came to dinner We entertained one another with reports of what passed yesterday what people said how the tenants feast was managed how the populace behaved at the houses which were kept open The Churchwardens List was produced of the Poor recommended by them It amounted to upwards of 140 divided into two classes one of the acknowleged poor the other of poor housekeepers and labouring people who were ashamed to apply but to whom the Churchwardens knew bounty would be acceptable There were above thirty of these to whom Sir Charles gave very handsomely but we knew not what The Churchwardens who are known to be good men went away blessing him with hearts running over at their lips as if they themselves were to find their account in his goodness
Saturday
WE have had a smart debate this morning on the natural independency of our Sex and the usurpation of the other Particulars byandby
My brother is an irresistable man Tomorrow he has carried it to make his appearance at Church against all their first intentions and that by their own consents He had considered everything They had not Mr Beauchamp has Letters which require him to go up to town Lord and Lady W are desirous to get thither my Lord having some gouty warnings I am obliged to go up having hated to set about anything preparatory to your case Caroline If the wretch were to come in my way just now I should throw my standish at him I believe The Earl and Lady Gertrude are in town and I am afraid of another reprimand The Earl never jests but he means the same as if he were serious I shall take Emily with me when I go Mrs Reeves wants to be with her little boy Yet all these people are desirous to credit the appearance—I had like to have forgot your good man—He longs to see his Caroline
and hopes to engage my brother to stand in person as his urchins sponsor So you see that there is a necessity to consent to make the appearance tomorrow or the Bride will lose the flower of her company
On Monday it stands determined that Mr and Mrs Reeves Mr Beauchamp Emily Lord L Lord and Lady W myself and Lord G will set out for London
God continue the happiness of this charming Pair Their behaviour to each other is just what I would wish it to be tender affectionate without fulsome fondness He cannot be more respectful to the dear creature now than he was before marriage But from his present behaviour I dare answer for him that he will not be less so And yet he is so lively that he has all the young man in his behaviour whenever occasions call for relaxation even when subjects require seriousness as they do sometimes in conversations between Mrs Shirley Mrs Selby Mr Deane and him his seriousness as Mrs Shirley herself finely observed in his absence is attended with such vivacity and intermingled with such entertaining illustrations all naturally arising from and falling into the subject that he is sure of every ones attention and admiration The features of his manly face and the turn of his fine eye observed she on another occasion are cast for pity and not for censure And let me add a speech of his when he was called upon to censure a person on a slight representation of facts
The whole matter is not before us said he We know not what motives he may have to plead by way of extenuation tho he may not be able entirely to excuse himself But as it appears to me I would not have done so
But what my dear am I about Are they not my brothers praises that I am expatiating upon Was I ever to be trusted with that subject Is there no man I have been asked that is like your brother—He I have answered is most likely to resemble him who
has an unbounded charity and universal benevolence to men of all professions and who imitating the Divinity regards the heart rather than the head and much more than either rank or fortune tho it were princely and yet is not a leveller but thinks that rank or degree intitles a man who is not utterly unworthy of both to respect
I will write one more Letter and then give way to other affairs I never thought I should have been such a scribbler But the correspondence between my Brother and Dr Bartlett into which we were all so eager to peep that of this dear creature with her Lucy which so much entertained us and which led us in her absence to wish to continue the series of it the story of Clementina so interesting all our suspenses so affecting and the state of this our lovely friends heart so peculiar and the task removed from you to me of promoting and contributing to the correspondence All these together led me on But now one Letter more shall conclude my task
Lord L has just now mentioned to my brother his wishes that he would stand Godfather to the little Lord My brother caught his hand and besought his pardon for not offering himself You do me my dear Lord said he both honour and pleasure Where was my thought But this dear creature turning to his Bride will be so good as to remind me of all my imperfections I am in a way to mend for the duties inseparable from my delightful new engagement will strengthen all my other duties
I have taken upon me Sir said she to request the favour of my Lord and Lady Ls acceptance of me for a Godmother
To which I have objections said I I have a prior claim Aunt Eleanor has put in hers Lady W hers and this before Miss Byron was Lady Grandison
Your circumstance my dear Lady G according to a general observation of our Sex is prohibitory
Will you my brother appealed I allow of superstitious observances prognostics omens dreams
O no My Harriet has been telling me how much she suffered lately from a dream which she permitted to give strength and terror to her apprehensions from Mr Greville Guard my dear Ladies against these imbecillities of tender minds In these instances if in no other will you give a superiority to our Sex which in the debate of this morning my Charlotte would not allow of
I will begin my next Letter with an account of this debate and if I cannot comprise it in the compass I intend to bring it into my one more Letter may perhaps stretch into two
THE debate I mentioned began on Friday morning at breakfasttime brought on by some of uncle Selbys goodnatured particularities for he will always have something to say against women I bespoke my brothers neutrality and declared I would enter the lists with Mr Selby and allow all the other men present to be of his side I had a flow of spirits Mans usurpation and womans natural independency was the topic I carried on my argument very triumphantly Nowandthen a sly hint popt out by my brother halfdisconcerted me but I called him to order and he was silent Yet once he had like to have put me out—Wrapping his arms about himself with inimitable humour—O my Charlotte said he how I love my country ENGLAND is the only spot in the world in which this argument can be properly debated—Very sly—Was it not
I made nothing of Mr Selby I called him the tyrant of the family And as little of Mr Deane
Lord L and still less of my own Lord who was as eager in the debate as if it concerned him more than anybody to resist me and this before my brother who by his eyes more than once seemed to challenge me because of the sorry creatures earnestness All those however were men of straw with me and I thought myself very near making Mr Selby ask pardon of his Dame for his thirty years usurpation In short I had halfestablished our Sexs superiority on the ruin of that of the sorry fellows when the debate was closed and referred to Mrs Shirley as moderatrix my brother still excluded any share in it—She indeed obliged me to lower my topsails a little
I think said the venerable Lady women are generally too much considered as a species apart To be sure in the duties and affairs of life where they have different or opposite shares allotted them by Providence they ought not to go out of their own sphere or invade the mens province any more than the men theirs Nay I am so much of this opinion that tho I think the confidence which some men place in their wives in committing all their affairs to their care very flattering to the opinion both of their integrity and capacity yet I should not choose and that not out of laziness to avoid the trouble to interfere with the management without doors which I think more properly the mans province unless in some particular cases
But in common intercourse and conversation why are we to be perpetually considering the Sex of the person we are talking to Why must women always be addressed in an appropriated language and not treated on the common footing of reasonable creatures And why must they from a false notion of modesty be afraid of shewing themselves to be suchand affect a childish ignorance
I do not mean that I would have women enter into learned disputes for which they are rarely qualified
But I think there is a degree of knowlege very compatible with their duties therefore not unbecoming them and necessary to make them fit companions for men of sense: A character in which they will always be found more useful than that of a plaything the amusement of an idle hour
No person of sense, man or woman will venture to launch out on a subject with which they are not well acquainted The lesser degree of knowlege will give place to the greater This will secure subordination enough For the advantages of education which men must necessarily have over women if they have made the proper use of them will have set them so forward on the race that we can never overtake them But then dont let them despise us for this as if their superiority were entirely founded on a natural difference of capacity Despise us as women and value themselves merely as men For it is not the hat or cap which covers the head that decides of the merit of it
In the general course of the things of this world women have not opportunities of sounding the depths of science, or of acquainting themselves perfectly with polite literature But this want of opportunity is not entirely confined to them There are professions among the men no more favourable to these studies than the common avocations of women For example; merchants whose attention is and perhaps more usefully as to public utility chained down to their accounts Officers both of land and sea are seldom much better instructed tho they may perhaps pass through a few more forms And as for knowlege of the world women of a certain rank have an equal title to it with some of them A learned man as he is called who should despise a sensible one of these professions and disdain to converse with him would pass for a pedant and why not for despising
or undervaluing a woman of sense, who may be put on the same footing Men in common conversation have laid it down for a rule of good breeding not to talk before women of things they dont understand by which means an opportunity of improvement is lost a very good one too one that has been approved by the ablest persons who have written on the education of children because it is a means of learning insensibly without the appearance of a task Common subjects afford only commonplace and are soon exhausted Why then should conversation be confined to such narrow limits and be liable to continual repetition when if people would start less beaten subjects many doubts and difficulties concerning them might be cleared up and they would acquire a more settled opinion of things which is what the generality much want from an indolence that hinders them from examining at the same time that they would be better entertained than with talking of the weather and such kind of insipidities
Lady W applauding Mrs Shirleys sentiments Apropos said she let me read you the speech taking it out of her Pocketbook of an EastIndia officer to a pedant who had been displaying his talents and running over with terms of art and scraps of Latin mingled with a profusion of hard words that hardly any of the company understood and which at the same time that it diverted all present cured the pretended scholar of his affectation for ever after My Lady read it as follows
I am charmed with this opportunity said the officer of discoursing with a gentleman of so much wit and learning and hope I shall have his decision in a point which is pretty nice and concerns some Eastern manufactures of antient and reverend etymology Modern critics are undetermined about them but for my part I have always maintained
that Chints Bullbulls Morees and Ponabaguzzys are of nobler and more generous uses than Doorguzzees or Nourfurmannys Not but I hold against Byrampauts in favour of Niccannees and Boralchauders Only I wish that so accurate 2 judge would instruct me why Tapzils and Sallampores have given place to Neganepauts And why Bejatapoutz should be more esteemed than the finer fabrick of Blue Chelloesa
A very good rebuke of affectation said Sir Charles and your Ladyship hints it was an efficacious one It serves to shew that men in their different attainments may be equally useful in other words, that the knowlege of polite literature leads not to every part of useful science I remember that my Harriet distinguishes very properly in some of her Letters to her Lucy between Language and Science and that poor Mr Walden that I think was his name was pretty much disconcerted as a pedant may sometimes be when and he bowed to his Harriet he has a natural genius to contend with She blushed and bowed as she sat—And I remember Sir said she you promised to give me your animadversions on the Letters I consented you should see Will you be pleased to correct me now
Correct you my dearest Life—What a word is that I remember that in the conversation in which you were obliged against your will to bear so considerable a part you demonstrated that genius without deep learning made a much more shining figure in conversation than learning without genius But upon the whole I was a little apprehensive that true learning might suffer if languages were too slightly treated Mr Walden made one good observation or rather remembred it for it was long ago made and will be always of weight that the knowlege of languages
any more than the advantage of birth was never thought lightly of by those who had pretensions to either The knowlege of the Latin language in particular let me say is of singular use in the mastery of every science
There are who aver that men of parts have no occasion for learning But surely our Shakespeare himself one of the greatest geniuss of any country or age who however, is an adept in the superior learning the knowlege of nature) would not have been a sufferer had he had that greater share of human learning which is denied him by some critics
But Sir Charles said Mr Deane dont you think that Shakespeare who lived before the great Milton has an easier pleasanter and more intelligible manner of writing than Milton If so may it not be owing to Miltons greater learning that Shakespeare has the advantage of that immortal poet in perspicuity
Is the fact certain my dear Mr Deane that Milton wants perspicuity I have been bold enough sometimes to think that he makes a greater display of his reading than was quite necessary to his unbounded subject But the age in which Shakespeare flourished might be called The age of English Learning as well as of English Bravery The Queen and her court the very Ladies of it were more learned than any court of our English Sovereigns was before or hath been since What a prodigy of learning in the short reign of Edward the VIth was the Lady Jane Grey—Greek as well as Latin was familiar to her So it was to Queen Elizabeth And can it be supposed that the natural geniuss of those Ladies were more confined or limited for their knowlege of Latin and Greek Milton tho a little nearer us lived in harsher and more tumultuous times
O Sir said Harriet then I find I was a very impertinent creature in the conversation to which you refer
Not so my dearest Love—Mr Walden I remember says that learning in that assembly was not brought before a fair tribunal He should have known that it had not a competent advocate in him
But Sir Charles said Mr Beachamp I cannot but observe that too much stress is laid upon Learning as it is called by those who have pretensions to it You will not always find that a scholar is a more happy man than an unlearned one He has not generally more prudence more wisdom in the management of his affairs
What my dear Beauchamp is this saying but that there is great difference between theory and practice This observation comes very generously and with regard to the Ladies very gallantly from you who are a learned man But as you are also a very prudent man let me ask you Do you think you have the less prudence for your learning If not Is not learning a valuable addition
But pray Sir Charles said Mrs Selby let me ask your opinion Do you think that if women had the same opportunities the same education as men they would not equal them in their attainments
Women my dear Mrs Selby are women sooner than men are men They have not therefore generally the learningtime that men have if they had equal geniuss
If they had equal geniuss brother Very well My dear Sister Harriet you see you have given your hand to one of the Lords of the creation—Vassal bow to your Sovereign
Sir Ch My dearest Love take not the advice without the example
Lady G Your servant Sir Well but let me ask you Do you think that there is a natural inferiority in the faculties of the one Sex A natural superiority in those of the other
Sir Ch Who will answer this question for me
Not I said Lord L Not I said Mr Deane Not I said Mr Beauchamp
Then I have fairly taken you in—You would if you could answer it in the Ladies favour This is the same as a confession I may therefore the more boldly pronounce that generally speaking I have no doubt but there is
Help me dear Ladies said I to fight this battle out You say Sr you have no doubt that there is a natural inferiority in the faculties of us poor women a natural superiority in you imperial men
Generally speaking Charlotte Not individually you Ladies and us men I believe all we who are present shall be ready to subscribe to your superiority Ladies
I believe brother you fib But let that pass
Thank you madam It is for my advantage that it should and perhaps for yours smiling—There is a difference pardon me Ladies we are speaking generally in the constitution in the temperament of the two Sexes that gives to the one advantages which it denies to the other But we may not too closely pursue this subject tho the result I am apt to believe would put the matter out of dispute Let us be more at large Why has nature made a difference in the beauty proportion and symmetry in the persons of the two Sexes Why gave it delicacy softness grace to that of the woman—as in the Ladies befor• me strength firmness to men a capacity to bear labour and fatigue and courage to protect the other Why gave it a distinction both in qualities and plumage to the different sexes of the feathered race Why in the courage of the male and female animals—The surly bull the meek the beneficent cow for one instance
We looked upon one another.
There are exceptions to general rules proceeded he
Mrs Shirley surpasses all the men I ever knew in wisdom—Mrs Selby and Lady G—
What of us brother What of us—to the advantage of your argument
Heroic Charlotte—You are both very happily married—The men the women the women the men you can mutually assist and improve each other But still—
Your servant brother interrupted I—Your servant Sir Charles said Mrs Selby—And I say Your servant too said Mr Selby
Who sees not that my sister Charlotte is ready to disclaim the competition in fact tho not in words Can there be characters more odious than those of a masculine woman and an effeminate man What are the distinguishing characteristics of the two Sexes And whence this odiousness There are indeed men whose minds if I may be allowed the expression seem to be cast in a Female mould whence the fops foplings and pretty fellows who buz about your Sex at public places women whose minds seem to be cast in a masculine one whence your Barnevelts my dear and most of the women who at such places give the men stare for stare swing their arms look jolly and those married women who are so kind as to take the reins out of their husbands hands in order to save the honest men trouble
Your servant Sir—Your servant Sir—And some of them looked as if they had said You cannot mean me I hope and those who spoke not bowed and smiled thanks for his compliment to one fourth of the Sex
My Lord insultingly rubbed his hands for joy Mr Selby crowed the other men slily smiled tho they were afraid of giving a more open approbation
O my Sister said I taking Harriets hand we women are mere Nothings—We are nothing at all
How my Charlotte Make you no difference between being Everything and Nothing
Were it not my dear Ladies proceeded he for male protectors to what insults to what outrages would not your Sex be subject Pardon me my dearest Love if I strengthen my argument by your excellencies bowing to his Harriet Is not the dear creature our good Mrs Shirleys own Daughter All the feminine graces are here She is in my notion what all women should be—But wants she not a protector Even a dream a resverie—
O Sir spare me spare me sweetly blushing said the lovely Harriet I own I should have made a very silly a very pusilanimous man It is not long since you know Lady G that I brought this very argument in favour of—
Hush Harriet You will give up the Female cause
That is not fair Charlotte rejoined my brother you should not intercept the convictions of an ingenuous mind—But I will spare my Harriet if she will endeavour for her own sake to let nothing disturb her for the future but realities and not any of these long if they are inevitable ones
But pray Sir said I proceed in your argument if you have any more to say
O Charlotte I have enough to say to silence all your opposition were I to give this subject its due weight But we are only for pleasantrysake skimming over the surface of the argument Weaker powers are given generally for weaker purposes in the oeconomy of Providence I for my part however disapprove not of our venerable Mrs Shirleys observation That we are apt to consider the Sex too much as a species apart Yet it is my opinion that both God and Nature have designed a very app•rent difference in the minds of both as well as in the peculiar
beauties of their persons Were it not so their offices would be confounded and the women would not perhaps so readily submit to those domestic ones in which it is their province to shine and the men would be allotted the distaff or the needle and you yourselves Ladies would be the first to despise such I for my part would only contend that we men should have power and right given us to protect and serve your Sex that we should purchase and build for them travel and toil for them run through at the call of Providence or of our King and Country dangers and difficulties and at last lay all our trophies all our acquirements at your feet enough rewarded in the conscience of duty done and your favourable acceptance
We were all of us again his humble servants It was in vain to argue the tyranny of some husbands when he could turn upon us the follies of some wives and that wives and daughters were never more faulty more undomestic than at present and when we were before a judge that tho he could not be absolutely unpolite would not flatter us nor spare our foibles
However if stuck a little with Harriet that she had given Cause to Sir Charles in the dispute which she formerly bore a part in relating to learning and languages to think her more lively than she ought to be and had spoken too lightly of languages She sweetly blushing like a young wife solicitous for the good opinion of the Beloved of her heart revived that cause
He spoke very highly in her praise upon the occasion owned that the Letters he had been favoured with the sight of had given him deeper impressions in her favour than even her Beauty Hoped for farther communications applauded her for her principles and her inoffensive vivacity—That sweet that innocent vivacity and noble frankness of heart said he
taking her hand which I hope you will never think of restraining
As to the conversation you speak of proceeded he I repeat that I was apprehensive when I read it that languages were spoken of in it slightly and yet perhaps I am mistaken You my Beauchamp I think if my dearest Life will oblige us both by the communication and chooses to do so for that must be the condition on which all her goodness to us must be expected shall be judge between us You know better than I what stories of unexhausted knowledge lie in the works of those great Antients which suffered in the hands of poor Mr Walden You know what the past and present ages have owed and what all future will owe to Homer Aristotle Virgil Cicero You can take in the necessity there is of restraining innovation and preserving old rules and institutions and of employing the youth of our Sex who would otherwise be much worse employed as we see in those who neglect their studies in the attainment of languages that can convey to them such lights in every science Tho it were to be wished that morals should take up more of the learners attention than they generally do You know that the truest parts of learning are to be found in the Roman and Greek writers and you know that translation were everything worthy our notice translated cannot convey those beauties which scholars only can relish and which learned foreigners if a man travels will expect should not have escaped his observation As to the Ladies Mrs Shirley has admirably observed that there is a degree of knowledge very compatible with their duties Condescending excellence bowing to Mrs Shirley and highly becoming them such as will make them rejoice and I will add improve a man of sense, sweeten his manners and render him a much more sociable a much more amiable creature
and of consequence greatly more happy in himself than otherwise he would be from books and solitude
Well but brother you said just now that we were only for pleasantrysake skimming over the surface of the argument and that you had enough to say to silence all my opposition were you to give the subject its due weight I do assure you that to silence all my opposition you must have a vast deal more to say than you have said hitherto and yet you have thrown in some hints which stick with me tho you have concluded with some magnificent intimations of superiority over us—Power and right to protect travel toil for us and lay your trophies at our feet andsoforth—Surely surely this is diminishing us and exalting yourselves by laying us under high obligations to your generosity Pray Sir let us have if you please one or two intimation▪ of those weightier arguments that could as you fancy silence your Charlottes opposition I say that we women were our education the same—You know what I would be at—Your weightier arguments if you please—or a specimen only on passant
Supposing my Charlotte that all human souls are in themselves, equal yet the very design of the different machines in which they are inclosed is to superinduce a temporary difference on their original equality a difference adapted to the different purposes for which they are designed by Providence in the present transitory state When those purposes are at an end this difference will be at an end too When Sex ceases inequality of Souls will cease and women will certainly be on a foot with men as to intellectuals in Heaven There indeed will you no longer have Lords over you neither will you have Admirers Which in your present estimate of things will perhaps balance the account In the mean time if you can see any occasions that may call for stronger
understandings in male life than in your own you at the same time fee an argument to acquiesce in a persuasion of a present inequality between the two Sexe You know I have allowed exceptions Will you Charlotte compliment yourself with being one
Now brother I feel methinks that you are a little hard upon Charlotte But Ladies you see how the matter stands—You are all silent—But Sir you graciously allow that there is a degree of knowledge which is very compatible with the DUTIES of us women and highly becoming us will you have the goodness to point out to us what this compatible learning is that we may not mistake—and so become excentric as I may say burst out orb and do more mischief than ever we could do good
Could I point out the boundaries Charlotte it might not to some spirits be so proper The limit might be treated as the one prohibited tree in the garden But let me say That genius whether in man or woman will push itself into light If it has a laudable tendency let it as a ray of the Divinity be encouraged as well in the one Sex as in the other I would not by any means have it limited A little knowledge leads to vanity and conceit I would only methinks have a Parent a Governor a Preceptor bend his strength to restrain its foibles but not throw so much cold water upon the sacred flame as should quench it since if he did stupidity at least dejection might take place of the emanation and the person might be miserable for life
Well then we must compromise I think said I But on recollection I thought I had injoined you Sir Charles to the observance of neutrality Harriet whispered I we are only after all to be allowed as far as I can find in this temporary state like tame doves to go about house andseforth as Biddy says in the play
Harriet could she have found time But by mutual consent they are hardly ever asunder would have given you a better account of this conversation than I have done so would Lucy But take it as it offers from
Your everaffectionate CHARLOTTE G
Sunday Nov 19
MY dear Lady G insists upon my writing to your Ladyship an account of the appearance which the loveliest Couple in England made this day at Church
We all thought nothing could have added to the charms of our Harriets person but yet her dress and jewels did I sighed from pride for the honour of Female Beauty to think they did Can my dear Harriet thought I exquisitely lovely as she is in any dress be ornamented by richer silks than common by costly laces by jewels Can dress add grace to that admirable proportion and th•se fine features to which no painter yet has ever done justice tho every family related to her has a picture of her drawn by a different hand of eminence
We admired the Bridegroom as much as we did her when before we could have thought he had been half ready he joined Mrs Shirley my Aunt Selby and me in the great Parlour completely dressed But what we most admired in him was that native dignity and ease and that inattentiveness to his own figure and appearance which demonstrate the trulyfine gentleman accustomed as he is to be always elegant
When his Lady presented herself to him and to us
in all her glory how did the dear creature dazle us We involuntarily arose as if to pay our homage to her Sir Charles approached her with rather an air of greater freedom than usual as if he considered not the dress as having added to the value he has for her Yet Loveliest of women he called her and taking her hand presented her to her grandmamma Receive and again bless my Angel said he best of Parents—How lovely But what is even all this amazing loveliness to the graces of her mind They rise upon me every hour She hardly opens her lips but I find reason to bless God and bless you both my dear Ladies For God and you have given her goodness—My dearest Life allow me to say that this sweet person which will be your first perfection in every strangers eye is but a second in mine
Instruct me Sir said she bashfully bowing her face upon his hand as he held hers to deserve your Love by improving the mind you have the goodness to prefer and no creature was ever on earth so happy as I shall be
My dear Daughter said her delighted grandmother you see▪ can hardly bare your goodness Sir You must blame her for something to keep down her pride
My Harriet replied he cannot be proud of what the silkworm can do for her or of the jewellers polish But now you call upon me madam I will tax her with a real fault I open all my heart to her as subjects occasionally offer I want her to have a will and to let me know it The frankest of all Female hearts will not treat me with that sweet familiarity which banishes distance You see my dearest Love that I chide you before your parental friends and your Lucy
It is your own fault Sir Indeed it is You prevent me in all my wishes Awe will mingle with the Love of persons who are under perpetual obligation
My dear two mammas you must not blame me you must blame Sir Charles He takes away by his goodness even the power of making suitable acknowlegements and then complains I do not speak
My uncle Selby came in He stood looking upon my cousin for a few moments in silence then broke out Sir Charles Grandison you may indeed boast that you have for a Wife the Flower of the British world as you once called her And let me tell you Niece you have for a Husband the noblest and gallantest of men Happy happy Pair say I My dear Mr Deane said he who just then entered if you will keep me in countenance I will venture to salute that charming creature
Sir Charles presented his Bride to them both With a bent knee she received their salutes At that moment came in the three Lords who followed the example Lord W called her Angel—Sir Charles looked delighted with the praises of his Bride
The rest of the company being come we proceeded to church
We were early but the Church was crouded How were the charming Couple admired on their alighting and as they walked to their pew Never did my Cousin herself look so lovely How charmingly looked the Bridegroom But he forgot not that humble deportment full of reverence for the place and the Divine Offices which seemed to make him absent for the time to that splendor and beauty which took every eye out of our own pew His example was enough to give a proper behaviour had it been needful to every one in it
I should have told your Ladyship that Mr Greville had sent evernight a sullenlycomplaisant request to my aunt in writing importing that as he heard the Bride would make her appearance on the morrow the Bridemen and maids if it broke not into our Ceremonial would accept of his pew which
is overagainst ours for the look of the thing he said tho he could not promise but he should all the day curse the occasion By this we found he was not gone to Lady Framptons as he had designed His offer was thankfully accepted
There was a great concourse of the genteelest people there Everybody men and women looked delighted on the occasion The humility of the Bride was tried by the respects paid her between the offices by all who had ever been in her company They should have reined in their own pride for it was to that as much as to respect to her I doubt not that their notice was owing She looked conscious bashful sly I told her afterwards She hates the word But as I said she should not have given the idea that made no other word so proper to express it and which must be more observable in her generally open free countenance than in that of any other She more than once saw devoirs paid her by a leer when her sweet face was so disposed that had she not returned the compliment it might have passed that she had not seen them But what an Insensible must have been my cousin had she not been proud of being Lady Grandison She is not quite an Angel yet She has a few Femalities as my uncle whimsically calls our little foibles So perhaps she should But nobody saw the least defect in your brother His dress most charmingly became him and when he looked upon his Bride his eyes were fixed on her eyes with such a sweet benignity and complaisance as if he saw her mind through them and could not spare a glance to her ornaments Yet by his own dress he shewed that he was not Stoical nonconformist to the fashion of the world But the politeness and respect with which he treated her did them both credit and credit as Lady G observed to the whole Sex Such unaffected tenderness in his respect and known to be so brave so good a man—O my dear Lady L what
an admirable man is your brother What a happy creature is my Harriet
When Divine Service was over I was afraid our Procession as I may call it would have been interrupted by the compliments of some of the gentry of our acquaintance whose opened pewdoors shewed their readiness to address them But all passed in silent respects from Gentlemen and Ladie My cousin when she came home rejoiced that one of her parading times was over But when my dearest Love said Sir Charles will the time be past that all who see you will admire you
The Church in the afternoon was still more crouded than before How were Sir Charles and my uncle blessed by the poor and people of low degree for their welldispensed bounty to them
My cousin has delighted Mrs Shirly by telling her that Sir Charles had said there would be a Rite wanting till he and she had communicated according to the order of the Church at the Altar on this particular occasion
Just now is everything settled that Sir Charles wished to be settled Lady G will acquaint you with particulars I doubt not
Permit me to commend myself to your Ladyships favours as one of the
Humblest and sincerest of your Servants LUCY SELBY
P S Lady G has half broke my heart
On perusal of what I have written she says I have not done my best I have not given half particulars enough—In short she finds a multitude of faults with me—Even calls me names Sorry girl lazy and I cant tell what
But do you madam acquit me and I shall be easy
I told her that I thought I had been very minute
What to a lyinginwoman she says who has no variety before her All one dull chamberscene hourly acted over again—The subject so rich
I answered It should then have had the richest pen—Why did she not write herself If it was not for lazinesssake it was for selfsake that she did not As I knew Lady L would have been a gainer by the change of pen I had much rather have been in the company for which she quitted the task than grubbing pens in my closet and all to get nothing but discommendation
I have shewn her this my Postcript She raves But I am hardened She will soon have an oppertunity to supply all my defects in person
END of VOL VI
THE HISTORY OF Sir CHARLES GRANDISON IN A SERIES of LETTERS Published from the ORIGINALS By the Editor of PAMELA and CLARISSA
In SEVEN VOLUMES
VOL VII and LAST
To which is added An Historical and Characteristical INDEX
LONDON Printed by S RICHARDSON AND DUBLIN Reprinted by and for H SAUNDERS at the Corner of ChristChurch Lane M DCC LIV
THE HISTORY OF Sir CHARLES GRANDISON Bart
Saturday Nov 25
_YOU enjoined me my dear Lady G at parting on Monday last to write to you and to be very particular in what I wrote I will because I love and fear you Otherwise I would not write at all first because I had not the good fortune to please you in mine to Lady L and next because I shall so soon have the honour to attend you in town Well then I begin
On Tuesday we women were employed in preparations for the tenants jubilee next day Sir Charles attended by my brother paid a morning visit to Mr Greville whom he found moody reserved and
indisposed My brother James says that he never saw such a manly yet tender treatment from one man to another as Sir Charles gave him and that he absolutely subdued him and left him acknowledgeing the favour of his visit and begging a repetition of it as often as he could while he staid in these parts and that he said as well for his credit as for his comfort But when Sir Charles said he do you carry from us the Syren I will call her names I hate her The sooner the better Curse me if I shall be able to creep out of the house while she is visible on Northamptonshire ground—Tho I was a friend to the match—Do you mind that young man to my brother James O Love Love added he of what contradictions art thou the cause Tho I hate her I almost long to see her Youll allow me to visit you both I hope when I have got over these plaguy megrims
The same day Sir Charles making a friendly visit as going by Sir John Holless seat to that family found Miss Orme there expecting her brother to call for her in his postchaise
Great civilities passed between Sir Charles and Miss Orme She was doubtful whether her brother had at that time best see Sir Charles as he was weak in health and Spirits But just as Sir Charles was at the gate going to his chariot attended by Sir John and the young Ladies poor Mr Orme came
The Liveries would not allow Mr Orme to doubt who it was He turned pale Sir Charles addressed himself to him with his usual polite freedom Knowing Sir said he that Mr Orme was expected by one of the best of Sisters I presume to salute you as the Mr Orme to whom I have been desirous ever since I have been in Northamptonshire to pay my compliments
Sir Charles Grandison Sir—
At your service Mr Orme taking his hand
The happiest man in the world replied Mr Orme with some emotion The best the loveliest woman on earth calls you hers
I am I think myself the happiest of men But it will add to my joy to have it wished me by so good a man as Mr Orme
Ah Sir—Could I wish joy to any man on this occasion it would be to you because of your character and in the reflection that the most excellent of women must be happier with you than any other man could have made her But Self Self Sir He is indeed a hero who with such a servent attachment as mine can divest himself of Self. I loved her Sir from her early infancy and never knew another Love
The man Mr Orme who loved Miss Byron gave distinction to himself Permit me to present her to you and you to her as dear friends and allow me a third place in your friendship You have a sister who justly claims a second I dare engage for the dear creature from what I know of her value for Mr Orme that she will allow of this friendship on the foot of his own merits were my recommendation out of the question
O Sir Charles you are you ought to be the man And will you allow me on these terms to visit you and visit her—But alas I fear I fear I cannot soon—
At your own time my dear Mr Orme—At Mr Selbys at her house in London in Hampshire whereever she is and whether I am present or absent Mr Orme will be received as her brother and my brother as her friend and my friend
Good God Good God—He gushed into tears He ran into the house to hide his emotion but in vain for when he went in he wept like a child—Forgive me forgive me Sir John who just then came in from taking leave of his noble guest but
there is no bearing this mans magnanimity—He is all I have heard of him Happy happy Miss Byron—No man but this could deserve her But where is he rising I will ask his pardon for my abrupt departure from him
He is gone answered Sir John I saw him in his chariot Good Mr Orme he called you and sighed for you Poor Mr Orme declared that he would wait upon Sir Charles and tell him how acceptable to his heart and what balm to his mind would be the tender he had the goodness to make him Sister said he you were at the gate as well as the young Ladies did he not hint did he not say that Miss Byron spoke of me with tenderness
Miss Kitty Holles supplied to us afterwards my brothers account of what passed in this accidental interview These dear girls know not how to keep from Selbyhouse They are good girls how then can they help admiring Sir Charles Grandison
I begin to fancy I am in a way to please you Lady G Of which▪ at taking up my pen I had little hopes and therefore intended not to take much pains about it But the subject must warm the coldest genius Is it not of your brother and my cousin
In the afternoon a Letter was brought from Sir Rowland Meredith My cousin intends to shew it to you in town Such a mix are in it of joy and sadness of condolement and congratulation I believe was never seen in one sheet of paper It is dated from Windsor The good man was there in his way to town resolving to pay a visit to the wonderful man as he calls •im of whom he had heard so great a character •nd who was probably to be the husband of his daug•••r Byron and there he heard from Lord Ws do••stics I suppose that Sir Charles was in Northamptonshire and that the marriage was actually solemnized He therefore intended
to set out directly for Bath where Mr Fowler was or at the Hotwell at Bristol pursuing measures for his health with a view to console his poor boy
This is a good old man Methinks I am half ready to wish that some of my cousins admirers would dry up their tears and come among us Yet we are nice and dainty girls some of us let me tell you—Tis foolish however to suggest leavings and such sort of stuff the Lady such as but one man could deserve his merit allowed universally
Sir Charles acquainted his Lady with all that had passed between him and Mr Orme She received his account with joy and thankfulness
You are enterd Sir said she into a numerous family I have called Sir Rowland Meredith my Father Mr Fowler my Brother Be pleased to read this Letter
I remember the relation, my dear returned Sir Charles and acknowledge it Mr Fowler is another Mr Orme Sir Rowland is a very worthy man
He read it—What an excellent heart has Sir Rowland My dearest Love cultivate their friendship▪ as I will Mr Ormes My pity for these worthy objects joining with yours and the frankness of our mutual behaviour to them will strengthen their hearts We owe it to them my dearest Life as much as it is in our power to soften their disappointment—Could they have a greater
O my Lady G Who can think of a man after this—Except one might hope from the personal knowledge of his charming behaviour that the men who addressed us might be improved by such an example
The Tenants Jubilee as they called it was on Wednesday It was a much more orderly day than we expected Sir Charles was all condescension and chearful goodness My cousin all graciousness was the word for her Mrs Shirley was of the company
How was she reverenced She ever was Once when the bride was withdrawn and Sir Charles was engaged in talk with Mr Deane she whispered two or three of her tenants to tell the rest that it was great joy to her to be assured that after her departure the tenants of her dear Mr Shirley would be treated with as much kindness perhaps with more as he and as she after his example had ever treated them Yet one caution I give said she My dear son will see with his own eyes He will dispense with his own hands He will not be imposed upon
Thursday and Friday the Bride saw company There was as little both days of the impertinence that attends form as I believe was ever known on the like occasion but more of sincere admiration We had a vast number of people Some of them persons of fashion with whom we had but slender acquaintance but who wished to see the happy pair
We shall be this day at Shirleymanor in a family way In that my dear Lady G after all the bustle and parade that we can make lies the true because the untumultuous joy
Tomorrow we shall serve God in our usual way
Adieu my dear Lady G—This is the sort of stuff you must be satisfied with from a poor untalented girl as is
Your everdevoted LUCY SELBY
No end of duty love compliments c I begin again to doubt I shant please you—So am allowably tired
Monday Nov 27
COME come Lucy you do pretty well Dont be disheartned child Yet you are not quite the clever girl I once thought you You that held
such a part in the correspondence of our Harriet—But you say you cant help it Poor girl I am sorry for it Your talents lie in speech not in writing—Your account of the interview between Orme and my brother shews you cant write at all No not you—Poor Lucy But write one Letter more before you come to town Do my dear You have charming subjects before you yet
I you see have a talent to make subjects out of nothing You poor soul cant follow them when made to your hand Ill tell you a story of my good man and his good woman A short one The poor man is very sensible of slight ailments Happy as he is in a wife no wonder he is afraid of dying He was complaining to me just now To whom but to a pitying wife should a man complain when he ails any-thing?] that he had a troublesome disorder in the inside of his mouth I looked very grave shook my careful head I am afraid my Lord something is breeding there that should not He started and looked concerned The man will never know me God sorbid said he—afraid of nothing less than a cancer Have I not told you a thousand times my Lord of your gaping As sure as you are alive your mouth is flyblown
Expecting compassion he found a jest and never was man so angry I was forced to take his hand and stroke his cheeks with mine to be friends
But Lucy let not any of these flippances meet my brothers eye or invade his ear I shall be undone if they do
Caroline is pure well Her Lord is never out either of her chamber or the nursery
Aunt Nell makes an admirable nurse Her parrot and her squirrel are now neglected for a little marmouset Everybody but the real nurse likes aunt Nell The good creature is so understanding so
directing I protest these old maids think they know everything The nurse I see cant endure her
I interfere not The boy is robust and they leave him the free exercise of his limbs and he has a fine pipe and makes the nursery ring whenever he pleases so will do well enough
But highho Lucy all these nursery mementos how do they sadden and mortify me The word mother what a solemn sound has it to me now Carolines situation before me—But come the evil day is at distance Whos afraid
Beauchamp sighs for Emily Emily for somebody else Sir Hargrave is still miserable Poor Sir Harry He still lives But can life be life when there is no hope
Write me one more Letter before you come up If it be ever so short a one Dont be proud and saucy You imagine I suppose that you cant write as well as Harriet and I Granted Attempt it not therefore But write as well as you can and that till Harriet can find herself at leisure to resume her pen shall content
Your true friend and humble servant CH G
No end of your compliments to us in town you say—No end of ours to you in the country were I to begin them Therefore will not say a word about them You know my meaning by my gaping
Thursday Night No 30
AND must I write your Ladyship one more Letter
And will a short one content you
Well then Ill try for it
On Sunday last we hoped to be quiet and good But the church was as much crouded as it was the Sunday before
Monday and Tuesday the Bride and Bridegroom returned the visits made them At one they met Miss▪ Orme and accompanied her to their seat called The Park at her request You did not seem to like my account of Sir Charless interview with Mr Orme in my last So I will not tell you what passed on accasion of this visit to that worthy man I will be as perverse as you are difficult I dont care Yet as your new sister described the meeting and parting to me you would have been pleased with what I could have told you
Yesterday we had a Ball given by Mrs Shirley Were I able to write to please you how I could expatiate on this occasion How did the Bridegroom shine Everybody was in raptures with him on his charming behaviour to his Bride The notice he took of her was neither too little nor too much for the most delicate observers Every young Lady envied her and how coldly did some of them look on their own humble servants They indeed were as regardful of him as their mistresses so bore the preference the better My uncle Selby was all and more than all he used to be How happy that he is a sober man His joy raised by wine would have made him mad
This day we have been all happy together A calm serene day at Shirleymanor And thus is the matter settled among us—Your brother and new sister my uncle and aunt Selby Mr Deane and your Ladyships humble servant are to set out early tomorrow morning for London My brother James would sain accompany us Sir Charles kindly inviting him But I withstood it so did my aunt the private reason because of Miss Jervois
Sir Charles thinks to stay in town till the Friday
following and then proposes to carry his Bride and all of us to Grandisonhall
A motion was made to Sir Charles by my grandmamma Selby whether he would not choose to be presented with his Lady to the King on their nuptials Sir Charles answered that he was ready to comply with every proposal that should shew his duty to his Sovereign and the grateful sense he had of the honour done him by his Harriet
We are to call on Lord and Lady W at Windsor and take them with us
My cousin and I are to write constantly to our two grandmammas My sister Nancy devotes herself to our grandmother Selby Miss Holless will constantly visit Mrs Shirley Sir Charles is to bring down his Lady twice a year or oftner if conveniency permit
He hoped he said after a while to induce his Harriet to take a trip with him to Ireland to inspect the improvements making in his estate there He will find no difficulty I believe to prevail upon her to accompany him thither nor even were he disposed to it to the worlds end
He hopes for a visit from the Italian family so deservedly dear to him by which he is to regulate many of his future motions
His newtaken house in Grosvenorsquare being as you know nearly ready he proposes to compliment with it those noble guests for the time of their residence in England for he will not it seems be so soon obliged to quit his present Londonhouse as he had thought he must
And thus my dear Lady G have I obeyed your commands I know you will not be satisfied with me Had I been able to follow a subject that was made to my hand I should have attempted the parting scene between my cousin and her grandmamma Could I have borrowed your pen I would have displayd the
tender yet magnanimous parent not once tho tottering with age and infirmities hinting that she might never again see the darling of her heart She saddened not hope but encouraged it All she said demonstrated Love of her Harriet divested of Self, and a soul above the weaker passions and well might she since she has already one foot among the stars and can look down with pity unmixed with envy on all those who by their youth are doomed to toil through the rugged road of life in search of a happiness that is not to be met with in it and at the highest can be compounded for only by the blessing of a contented mind With the same pen before I had resigned it would I have described the lovely grandchild embraceing the knees of the indulgent parent not satisfied with one two three blessings and less generously in the purport tho not in the intent judging from her own present happiness that there is still something worth wishing for to be met with in this world praying to God to preserve the overripened fruit still on the withered tree In which we all joined But O how much less generously as I hinted because it was altogether for our own sakes—But I know not whose pen I must have borrowed to have done justice to Sir Charles Grandisons behaviour on this occasion
Excuse this serious conclusion my dear Lady G My cousin shall not see it May she know nothing but felicity In hers is bound up that of Sir Charles Grandison and in his that of hundreds I long tho we parted so lately to throw myself at your feet and to assure you that whatever defects there are in my pen there are none in the Love borne you by
Your Ladyships Most sincere admirer and humble Servant LUCY SELBY
Thursday December 7
LUCY my ever honoured grandmamma has given you the particulars of the rapturous reception I met with on Saturday from my dear Lady L on the visit we made her in her chamber She as well as her Lord welcomed and congratulated us and herself with such a grace—They are a charming pair—We all rejoiced with her on the addition she had made to two families so worthy
Mrs Eleanor Grandison received us also in raptures
How did the tenderly kind notice which Sir Charles took of the lovely little infant It is a fine child delight the happy mother and everybody
Lord and Lady G met us at Lady Ls Emily and the Earl of G and Lady Gertrude with them How affectionately did the dear girl welcome us after a few tears which she endeavoured to hide and which we passed over as tears of joy But Lucy has given you all particulars a); and the noble manner also in which Sir Charles gave me possession of his house on our first arrival Everybody was charmed with it It cost my aunt some tears
The Christening was delayed till Monday because Sir Charles was desirous it should be performed at church He had some few difficulties to get over before he carried his point and this was the substance of his reasonings on the subject People of fashion he said should consider themselves as examples to the lower orders of people They should shew a conformity to the laws of their country both ecclesiastical and civil where they can do it with a good conscience In the present case Baptism said
he is one of our two sacraments and shall it not be performed when it can as the church directs the child in full health
I will give you my dear grandmamma journalwise I think an account of our proceedings still referring myself to my Lucy for such particulars as now I shall not have time to give For you know my dear grandmamma that my time is not now my own as it used to be tho I shall think myself very ungrateful and undutiful too if I permit my new duties so wholly to engross me as to furnish an excuse for the neglect of those which from my very birth I owe to you
I think Lucy has not mentioned to you the lively conversations that passed in the evening after the christening between Sir Charles and Lady G she choosing to single out her brother as she had threatned unknown to him to do in order to try once more her strength with him in vivacity and raillery She delighted everybody with her wit For it was not so rapid and so unguarded as sometimes it is He condescended was Lucys just observation to return wit for her wit in order to follow her lead as he saw the company was delighted with their conversation and was exceedingly brilliant She complimented herself on the merit of having drawn him out tho to her own disadvantage Finding herself overmatched she shifted her attacks and made one upon me but with so much decorum and complaisance as shewed she intended to do me honour rather than herself
Tuesday evening Sir Charles is just returned from visiting Sir Harry Beauchamp The poor man numbers his hours and owned that the three the best of men gave him as by his own watch tho Sir Charles intended to be back in one were more happy ones than he had promised himself in this life O madam How easy sits my Sir Charless piety upon
him He can pity a dying friend without saddening his own heart for he lives the life of duty as he goes along and fears not the inevitable lot
Wednesday He is just returned from a visit to Sir Hargrave Sir Hargrave it seems complimented him but with tears in his eyes on his marriage Great God said he how are you rewarded How am I punished Is there not hope that I have all my punishment in this life I am sure it is very very heavy
He visited the same day Mrs Oldham and her children
He drank tea this afternoon with the Danby family in full assembly at the house of the elder brother and came to my cousin Reevess to supper My uncle aunt Mr Deane and Lucy accompanied me thither to tea and supper where as by promise we were joined by Lord and Lady G Lord L Mrs Eleanor Grandison my Emily and Mr Beauchamp Mr Reeves had also invited Lady Betty Williams What felicitations did she pour on me She sighed poor Lady for the unhappy step her daughter had taken And I sighed for the mother who tho she had not given her daughter a bad example had not set her a good one
Lucy will tell you what a charming evening we had
On Thursday Mr Grandison presented his newmarried Lady to Sir Charles and me on account of our marriage and dined with us Sir Charles received the Lady as well as his cousin with the utmost politeness She is far from being a dis•greeable woman But at first the awe she had of the people of rank in company particularly of Lady G as she owned to me gave her an air of aukwardness But Sir Charless polite notice of her soon made her easy
Mr Grandison found an opportunity to praise to me her good sense and fine qualities but in such a way as if he were making apologies for having given
the honour of his name to a woman under his own rank ungrateful who yet had reestablished him He concluded his panegyric with letting me know that she had already presented him with 25000 pounds He looked as if he thought he deserved it all and actually called her a very discerning woman I questioned not I told him his gratitude to a Lady so deserving and he as good as promised to reward her by his Love whispering with an air of self-sufficiency sticking his hand in his side and surveying himself to the right and left Her former Husband madam was a very plain but an honest man But I do assure you she has taste—O dear O dear thought I to myself
Sir Charles invited them both to Grandisonhall and she seemed not a little proud on his calling her as he did several times Cousin
Lord L and Lord and Lady G dined with us as did Mrs Eleanor Grandison and Emily Lady G in the main behaved prettily enough to Mr Grandison and his Bride But once a little forgetting herself and putting on a supercilious air I whispered her Dear Lady G consider you can give pride to others by your condescension You must not yourself condescend to be proud
Be you my Harriet rewhispered she always my monitress It is the sorry fellow not his wife that I look down upon She a widow Cit might have done still worse
Cit Lady G And in a trading kingdom
Ay Cit child Have you not heard my brother say that even in the republic of Venice there are young nobility and old nobility Distinctions in blood everywhere but at Amsterdam
Who and what at first made the distinction, my dear asked I
Be quiet Harriet—I think I am very good—
And at the height of your goodness Charlotte
Be quiet when I bid you aloud
Sir Charles a little jealous of our whispering for the sake of his cousins turning to Mr Grandison Your cousin Charlotte you know Sir is always hard pressed when she calls out Be quiet
I was always rejoiced replied he when my cousin was brought to that
Sir Charles has been twice at the Drawingroom since we have been in town He admires the integrity of heart of his Sovereign as much as he reveres his royal dignity Once I remember he wished that his Majesty would take a summers progress thro his British another into his Irish dominions but expresly with this proviso That every gentleman and woman of condition should be welcome at his court who came not in new dresses to pay their duty to him and this lest the gentrys vying with each other in appearance should hurt their private circumstances and for the same reason that he would graciously treat but not be treated by any of the nobility at their houses
Tomorrow morning Sir Charles his grateful Harriet happy creature my uncle and aunt Selby Mr Deane and Emily are to set out by the way of Windsor for Grandisonhall We are to take an early dinner there with Lord and Lady W who on that condition have promised to attend their beloved nephew and his friends to the Hall
Lord G is allowed to stay a week with us and no more He is then to attend his now but halfsaucy Lady at one of the Earl of Gs seats in Hertfordshire where by promise of longstanding she is to keep her Christmas At which she mutters not a little because she would sain have been with us and because she imagines it will be proper for her to confine herself at home by the time they will part with her
My aunt Selby and even my uncle will write
He must he says the overflowings of his joy Lucy loves to describe houses furniture gardens and such like She says she will sometimes give conversations too at which I shall not be present but will leave to my pen persons characters and what passes of the more tender sort in conversations where I am by But as well Lucys Letters as mine are to be sent to Lady G unsealed and she after shewing them to her sister will hasten them to Northamptonshire Referring therefore to Lucy for more particular accounts I subscribe myself with all duty and grateful love to my grandmamma as well as with kindest remembrances to all my dear friends
Your happy thrice happy HARRIET GRANDISON
Grandisonhall Saturday 12 oclock Dec 9
O My dearest dearest grandmamma Here I am The declared mistress of this spacious house and the happiest of human creatures This is all at this instant I can write
LORD and Lady W honoured us as they had promised with their company but detained us so long that we were obliged to he one night on the road But by eleven this morning we arrived here
At our alighting Sir Charles clasping me in his arms I congratulate you my dearest life said he on your entrance into your own house The last Lady Grandison and the present might challenge the whole British nation to produce their equals Then turning to every one of his guests those of my family first as they were strangers to the place
he said the kindest the politest things that ever proceeded from the mouth of man I wept for joy I would have spoken but could not Everybody congratulated the happy Harriet
Dr Bartlett was approaching to welcome us but drew back till our mutual congratulations were over He then appeared I present to you my dear Dr Bartlett said the best of men the lovely friend whom you have so long wished to see mistress of this house He then offered my hand to the Doctor
God bless you madam tears in his eyes—God bless you both Then kissed instead of myhand which I withdrew my offered cheek He could say no more I could not speak distinctly
My dear Sir Charles led me followed by all our rejoicing friends thro a noble diningroom to the drawingroom called The Ladys The whole house my dear said he and every person and thing belonging to it is yours But this apartment is more particularly so Let what is amiss in it be altered as you would have it
O Sir grasping his presenting hand between both mine was all I could say
This room is elegantly furnished It is hung with a light green velvet delicately ornamented the chairs of the same the frames of them gilt as is the frame of a noble cabinet in it—My mothers my dearest life whispered he It will be always fashionable And you I know will value it on her account—Indeed I shall—He presented me with the keys Here perhaps will you deposit your letters and correspondences some of which the continuation of those I have had the honour to see you will allow me to peruse But of choice remember madam For your whole heart must be in the grant of the favours you will confer upon me of this kind
Dear Sir said I leave me power of speech my will shall be yours in everything But you will
find a strange strange heart laid open to you if you command from me a sight of the papers that probably will be reposited here when all my matters are brought from Northamptonshire
You shall have all the Letters you ever wrote to me and the venerable circle said Lucy a loan not a gift if you will shew them to Sir Charles
Courage Lucy not inclination will be only wanting
Thank you Lucy said he Thank you my Love to me You must make marks against the passages in the Letters you shall have the goodness to communicate which you would not have me read I will give you my honour that I will not pass the bounds you prescribe
I will snatch another opportunity to proceed—My dear Sir Charles indulges me I have told him that if he nowandthen misses he must conclude that I am doubling my joy by communicating it as I have opportunity to my dear Grandmamma
EVERYBODY admires the elegance of this drawingroom The finest japan china that I ever saw except that of Lady Gs which she so whimsically received at the hands of her Lord took particularly every female eye
Sir Charles led me into a closet adjoining—Your Oratory your Library my Love when you shall have furnished it as you desired you might by your chosen collection from Northamptonshire
It is a sweet little apartment my dear grandmamma elegant bookcases unfurnished Every other ornament complete How had he been at work to oblige me by Dr Bartletts good offices while my heart perhaps was torn part of the time with uncertainty
The housekeeper a middleaged woman who is noted as you have heard her master say for prudence integrity and obligingness a gentlewoman born
appearing Sir Charles presented her to me Receive my Love a faithful a discreet gentlewoman who will think herself honoured with your commands Mrs Curzon to her you will be happy in a mistress who is equally beloved and reverenced by all who have the honour of her countenance if she approve of your services and if you choose to continue with us
I took her hand I hope Mrs Curzon there is no doubt but you will You may depend upon everything that is in my power to make you easy and happy
She looked pleased but answered only with a respectful courtesy
Sir Charles led the gentleman out to shew them his Study We just looked into a fine suite of rooms on the same floor and joined them there
We found my uncle and Mr Deane admiring the disposition of everything as well as the furniture The glasscases are neat and as Dr Bartlett told us stored with wellchosen books in all sciences Mr Deane praised the globes the orrery and the instruments of all sorts for geographical astronomical and other scientifical observations It is ornamented with pictures some as Dr Bartlett told us of the best masters of the Italian and Flemish schools statues bustoes bronzes And there also placed in a distinguished manner were the two rich cabinets of medals gems and other curiosities presented to him by Lady Olivia He mentioned what they contained and by whom presented and said he would shew us at leisure the contents They are not mine added he I only give them a place till the generous owner shall make some worthy man happy His they must be It would be a kind of robbery to take them from a family that for near a century past have been collecting them
LUCY says she will be very particular in her Letters This will take up time especially as Lady G and Lady L must see them in their way to Northamptonshire tho they will not detain them I shall have an opportunity to send this to London on Monday This makes me intent to snatch every opportunity of writing It will otherwise be too long before you will hear from us by my hand
I do not intend to invade this slow girls province yet I will give you a slight sketch of the house and apartments as I go along
The situation is delightful The house is very spacious It is built in the form of an H both fronts pretty much alike The hall the diningparlour two drawingrooms one adjoining to the study the other to the diningparlour which with the study mentioned already and other rooms that I shall leave to Lucy to describe make the groundfloor are handsome and furnished in an elegant but not sumptuous taste the hangings of some them beautiful paper only There is adjoining to the study a room called The Musicparlour so called in Sir Thomass time and furnished with several fine musical instruments Sir Thomas was as great an admirer of music as his son and a performer
It is no news to you madam that Sir Charles shews a great regard to every thing place and disposition that was his fathers and not absolutely inconvenient and inconsistent with the alterations he has thought necessary to make And which Dr Bartlett praises highly and promises to particularize to me We are to be shewn this Musicparlour byandby
The diningroom is noble and well proportioned It goes over the hall and diningparlour It is hung with crimsondamask adorned with valuable pictures The furniture is rich but less ornamented than that of the Ladys drawingroom
The best bed chamber adjoining is hung with
fine tapestry The bed is of crimson velvet lined with white silk chairs and curtains of the same Two fine pictures drawn by Sir Godfrey one of Sir Thomas the other of Lady Grandson whole lengths took my eye O with what reverence that of my Lady—Lady L Lady G as girls and Sir Charles as a boy of about ten years of age made three other fine whole lengths I must contemplate them when I have more leisure
The suit of rooms on the first floor which we just stept into are each denominated from the colour of the hangings which are generally of damask
Mrs Curzon tells us that on occasion they make fifteen beds within the house in which the best Lord in the land need not disdain to repose—You remember madam that Sir Charles in his invitation to the Italian family tells them he has room to receive them The offices are said to be exceedingly convenient
The gardens and lawn seem from the windows of this spacious house to be as boundless as the mind of the owner and as free and open as his countenance
MISS Lucy Selby thus describes the situation of the house and the park gardens orchard c in one of her Letters which does not appear
THIS large and convenient house is situated in a spacious park which has several fine avenues leading to it
On the north side of the park flows a winding stream that may well be called a river abounding with trout and other fish the current quickened by a noble cascade which tumbles down its foaming waters from a rock which is continued to some extent in a kind of ledge of rockwork rudely disposed
The park itself is remarkable for its prospects
lawns and richappearing clumps of trees of large growth which must therefore have been planted by the ancestors of the excellent owner who contenting himself to open and enlarge many fine prospects delights to preserve as much as possible the plantations of his ancestors and particularly thinks it a kind of impiety to fell a tree that was planted by his father
On the south side of the river on a natural and easy ascent is a neat but plain villa in the rustic taste erected by Sir Thomas the flat roof of which presents a noble prospect This villa contains convenient lodgingrooms and one large room in which he used sometimes to entertain his friends
The gardeners house is a pretty little building The man is a sober diligent man he is in years Has a housewifely good creature of a wife Content is in the countenances of both How happy must they be
The gardens vineyard c are beautifully laid out The orangery is flourishing everything indeed is that belongs to Sir Charles Grandison alcoves little temples seats are erected at different points of view The orchard lawns and grasswalks have sheep for gardeners and the whole being bounded only by sunk fences the eye is carried to views that have no bounds
The orchard which takes up near three acres of ground is planted in a peculiar taste A neat stone bridge in the centre of it is thrown over the river It is planted in a natural stope the higher fruittrees as pears in a semicircular row first apples at further distances next cherries plumbs standard apricots c all which in the season of blossoming one row gradually lower than another must make a charming variety of blooming sweets to the eye from the top of the rustic villa which commands the whole
The outside of this orchard next the north is planted with three rows of trees at proper distances from each other one of pines one of cedars one of Scotch firs in the like semicircular order which at the same ti•e that they afford a perpetual verdure to the eye and shady walks in the summer defend the orchard from the cold and blighting winds
This plantation was made by direction of Sir Thomas in his 〈◊〉 of fancy We have heard that he had a poeti••l and consequently, a fanciful taste
Thus far from Miss Selby Lady Grandison thos proceeds
My uncle once took my aunt out from the company in a kind of hurry I saw his eyes glisten and was curious on her return to know the occasion This was his speech to her unable to check his emotion What a man is this dame Selby We were surely wanting in respect to him when he was among us To send such a one to an inn—Fie upon us—Lord be good unto me how are things come about—Who would have thought it—Sometimes I wonder the girl is not as proud as Lucifer at other times that she is able to look him in the face
To this convenient house belongs an elegant little chapel neatly decorated But Sir Charles when down generally goes to the parishchurch of which he is patron
The gallery I have not yet seen—Dr Bartlett tells me it is adorned with a long line of ancestors
AFTER dinner which was sumptuous and wellordered Sir Charles led us into the Musicparlour O madam you shall hear what honour was done me there—I will lead to it
Several of the neighbouring gentlemen he told us are performers and he hopes to engage them as opportunities
shall offer My dear Dr Bartlett said he your soal is harmony I doubt not but all these are in order—May I ask you my Harriet pointing to the harpsichord I instantly sat down to it It is a fine Instrument Lord G took up a violin Lord L a German flute Mr Deane a bassviol and we had a little concert of about half an hour
Here is a noble organ When the little concert was over he was so good himself on my aunts referring to him with asking eyes to shew us it was in tune
We all seated ourselves round him on his prepareing to oblige us I between my aunt and Lucy and he with a voice admirably suited to the instrument but the words if I may be allowed to say so still more admirably to the occasion at once delighted and surprized us all by the following Lines
I
Accept great SOURCE of evry bliss
The fulness of my heart
Pourd out in tuneful cestasies
By this celestial art
II
My soul with gratitude profound
Receive a Form so bright
And yet I boast a bliss beyond
This angel to the sight
III
When charms of mind and person meet
How rich our raptures rise
The Fair that renders earth so sweet
Prepares me for the skies
How did our friends look upon one another, as the excellent man proceeded—I was astonished It was happy I sat between my aunt and Lucy—They each took one of my hands Tears of joy ran down my cheeks Every ones eyes congratulated me
Every tongue but mine encored him I was speechless Again he obliged us I thought at the time I had a foretaste of the joys of heaven—How sweet the incense of praise from a husband That husband a good man—My surrounding friends enjoying it—How will you madam rejoice in such an instance of a Love so pure and so grateful Long long may it be for the sake of his Harriet his and her friends for the worlds sake before his native skies reclaim him
He approached me with tender modesty as if abashed by the applause he met with But seeing me affected he was concerned I withdrew with my aunt and Lucy He followed me I then threw myself at his feet embraced his knees and had speech been lent me would have offered him the fervent vows of a heart overflowing with Love and Gratitude
THE Musicparlour I can hardly mention it without breaking into raptures is adorned with a variety of fine carvings on subjects that do honour to poetry and music Be it Lucys task to describe them Let me mention other instances of his tender goodness to one of the happiest creatures on earth
You know madam Sir Charles when in Northamptonshire offered me my choice of servants of both sexes and when I told him that I chose not to take with me any one of either but my Sally he said that when I came to Grandisonhall where they would be all together I should choose which of the menservants I would more particularly call my own He gave me just now the names and qualities of each Frederic I had seen at Selbyhouse an observant sensiblelooking young man but are not all his servants
so I choose him He called him in my aunt Selby present All my servants Frederic said he are as much your Ladys as mine But you will devote yourself more particularly to her commands I mean not however any distinction in your favour where you all equally merit distinction The power madam of change or dismission thro the house is entirely yours
Tomorrow I am to go over all the bridal ostentation again at the parishchurch On Monday Lady Mansfield and her family are to be here—Your guests my dear said Sir Charles to me before all our friends I hope for a week at least This was the first notice he gave of it to Lord and Lady W What joy and gratitude appeared in her countenance upon it
Tuesday by general approbation Sir Charles submitting the choice of the day to his guests we are to have the neighbouring gentry here to dinner and for the rest of the day Sir Charles has been long wished by them all to reside among them He breaks thro the usual forms and chose this way at once to receive the visits of all his neighbours and in both our names gave the invitation He snewed us a list of the persons invited It is a very large one My dearest life said he we shall be all halffamiliarized to them they to us even tomorrow by the freedom of this invitation for the Tuesday following
Mrs Curzon came to me for directions about the bedchambers I took that opportunity to tell her that I should add to the number of female servants only my Sally of whose discretion I had no doubt You must introduce to me said I at a proper time the female servants If you Mrs Curzon approve of them I shall make no changes I am myself the happiest of women Every one who deserves it shall find her happiness in mine
You will rejoice all their hearts madam by this
early declaration of your good to them I can truly say that the best of masters has not the worst of servants But Dr Bartlett would make bad servants good
I shall want no other proof said I of their goodness than their love and respect to Dr Bartlett
In company of my aunt Lady W Lucy Miss Jervois attended by Mrs Curzon we went to choose our rooms and those for our expected guests of Monday We soon fixed on them My aunt with her usual goodness and Lady W with that condescension that is natural to her took great notice of Mrs Curzon who seemed delighted with us all and said that she should be the happier in the performance of her duty as she had been informed we were managing Ladies It was a pleasure she said to receive commands from persons who knew when things were properly done You my dearest grandmamma from my earliest youth have told me that to be respected even by servants it is necessary to be able to direct them and not be thought ignorant in those matters that it becomes a mistress of a family to be acquainted with They shall not find me pragmatical however in the little knowledge I have in familymatters
Will nothing happen my dear grandmamma—But no more of this kind—Shall I by my diffidences lessen the enjoyments of which I am in full possession My joy may not be sufficient to banish fear but I hope it will be a prudent one which will serve to increase my thankfulness to heaven and my gratitude to the man so justly dear to me
But do you my grandmamma whenever you pray for the continuance of your Harriets happiness pray also for that of Lady Clementina That only can be wanting in my present situation to complete the felicity of
Your evergrateful everdutiful HARRIET GRANDISON
Sunday noon
WHAT a crouded churchyard and church had I to pass thro to the handsome seat which belongs to the excellent patron of it—How much exalted was I to hear his whispered praises How did my Northamptonshire friends rejoice in the respectful approbation paid to the happy creature to whom they are more immediately related I am always a little mortified by praises of my figure What a transitory thing is outward form—May I make to myself a more solid and permanent foundation for that respect which is generally more pleasing to a female heart than it ought to be
Sir Charles was not unhappy in his invitation for next Tuesday It took off I imagine some particular addresses to him Yet several gentlemen at his coachside acknowledged the favour done them in it
My uncle who you know madam loves everything that promotes good neighbourhood is greatly delighted with the thoughts of the day How proud is he of his Harriet How much more proud of his relation to the best of men
I have looked upon what Lucy has written I see there will be but little room for me to say any-thing. She is delighted with the task It employs all her faculties displays her fine taste in architecture paintings needleworks shellworks She will give you a description of several charming performances in the two latter arts of the late Lady Grandison—How does the character of that admirable Lady rise upon us With what emulation does it fire me On twenty accounts it was a very bold thing my grandmamma for your Harriet to aspire to be Lady Grandison—Yet how does Sir Charless goodness his
kind acceptance of all my humble endeavours encourage me—O madam he said truth when in courtship he told me that I parted with power to have it returned me with augmentation I dont know how it is but his freedom of behaviour to me is increased yet his respectfulness is not diminished—And tender as he was before to me his tenderness is still greater than it was Yet so much unaffected dignity in it that my reverence for him is augmented but without any abatement of my Love Then his chearfulness his more than chearfulness his vivacity shews that he is at heart pleased with his Harriet Happy Harriet—Yet I cannot forbear nowandthen when my joy and my gratitude are at the highest a sigh to the merits of Lady Clementina—What I am now should she have been think I often—The general admination paid me as the wife of Sir Charles Grandison should have been paid to her—Lady L Lady G should have been her sisters She should have been the mistress of this house the coguardian of Emily the successor of the late excellent Lady Grandison—Hapless Clementina—What a strange thing that a love of religion in two persons so pious so good each in their way should sunder for ever sunder persons whose minds were so closely united
Sir Charles by Lucy invites me till dinner is ready to walk with them at her request in the gallery Lucy wants in describing that gallery to give you my dearest grandmamma in whom every other of my friends is included a brief history of the ancestors of Sir Charles whose pictures adorn it I come Lord of my heart I attend you—
How madam would you have been delighted could you have sat in this truly noble gallery and seen the dear man one arm round my waist holding my opposite hand in the hand of the same surrounding arm pointing sometimes with the other sometimes
putting that other arm round my Lucys and giving short histories of the persons whose pictures we saw
Some of the pictures are really fine One of Sir Charless which is drawn when he was about sixteen is on horseback The horse a managed curvetting proud beast—His seat spirit courage admirably expressed He must have been as his sisters say he was the loveliest and the most undaunted yet most modestlooking of youths He passed his own picture so slightly that I had not time to take in half the beauties of it You will not doubt madam but I shall be often in this gallery were only this one picture there
What pleasure had I in hearing the history of this antient family from this unbroken series of the pictures of it for so many generations past And will mine one day thought I be allowed a place among them near to that of the most amiable of them all both as to mind and figure How my heart exulted What were my meditations as I traced the imagined footsteps of dear Lady Grandison her picture and Sir Thomass in my eye as finely executed as those in the best bedchamber May I thought I with a happier lot be but half as deserving But madam did not Lady Grandison shine the more for the hardships she passed through—And is it necessary for virtue to be called forth by trials in order to be justified by its fortitude under them What trials can I be called to with Sir Charles Grandison But may I not take my place on the footstep of her throne yet make no contemptible figure in the family of her beloved son I will humbly endeavour to deserve my good fortune and leave the rest to Providence
There are in different apartments of this seat besides two in the house in the town no less than six pictures of Sir Thomas But then two of them were brought from his seat in Essex Sir Thomas was fond of his person They are drawn in different attitudes
He appears to be as I have always heard he was a fine figure of a man But neither Lucy nor I tho we made not the compliment to Sir Charles you may suppose who always speaks with reverence and unaffected Love of his father thought him comparable in figure dignity intelligence to his son
We were called to dinner before we had gone halfway thro the gallery
We had a crouded church again in the afternoon
Sunday night This excellent Dr Bartlett And this excellent Sir Charles Grandison I may say—Sir Charles having enquired of the Doctor when alone with him after the rules observed by him before we came down the Doctor told him that he had every morning and night the few servants attending him in his antechamber to prayers which he had selected out of the Church Service Sir Charles desired him by all means to continue so laudable a custom for he was sure master and servants would both find their account in it
Sir Charles sent for Richard Saunders and Mrs Curzon He applauded to them the Doctors goodness and desired they would signify the one to the menservants the other to the women that he should take it well of them if they chearfully attended the Doctor promising to give them opportunity as often as was possible Half an hour after ten Doctor I believe is a good time in the evening
That Sir is about my time and eight in the morning as an hour the least likely to interfere with their business Whenever it does they are in their duty and I do not then expect them
About a quarter after ten the Doctor slipt away Soon after Sir Charles withdrew unperceived by any of us The Doctor and his little church were assembled Sir Charles joined them and afterwards returned to company with that chearfulness that always
beams in his aspect The Doctor followed him with a countenance as serene I took the Doctor aside tho in the same apartment supposing the matter Sir Charles joining us—O Sir said I why was I not whispered to withdraw with you Think you that your Harriet—
The company my dearest Love interrupted he was not now to be broken up When we are settled we can make a custom for ourselves that will be allowed for by everybody when it is seen we persevere and are in every other respect unform Joshuas resolution Doctor was an excellent one a The chapel now our congregation is large will be the properest place and there perhaps the friends we may happen to have▪ with us will sometimes join us
Monday morning Sir Charles has just now presented to me in Doctor Bartletts presence Mr Daniel Bartlett the Doctors nephew and his only care in this world a young gentleman of about eighteen well educated and a fine accomptant a master of his pen and particularly of the art of shorthand writing The Doctor insisted on the specification of a salary which he named himself to be 40l a year and to be within the house that he might always be at hand He could not trust he said to his patrons assurances that his bountiful spirit would allow him to have a regard in the reward only to the merit of the service
Monday noon Lady Mansfield Miss Mansfield and the three Brothers are arrived What excellent women what agreeable young gentlemen what grateful hearts what joy to Lady W on their arrival what pleasure to Lord W who on every occasion shews his delight in his nephew—All these things with their compliments to your happy Harriet let Lucy tell I have not time
WHAT my dear grandmamma shall we do with Lord and Lady W—Such a rich service of gilt plate Just arrived A present to me—It is a noble present—And so gracefully presented And I so gracefully permitted to accept of it by my best my tenderest friend—Let Lucy describe this too
Tuesday morning A vast company we shall have Gentlemen and their Ladies are invited Your Harriet is to be dressed She is already dressed How kindly am I complimented by every one of my friends—Let Lucy let my aunt she promises to assist Lucy relate all that shall pass describe the persons and give the characters of our visiters our managements our entertainments the Ball that is to conclude the day and night I shall not be able I suppose to write a line
Wednesday noon Our company left us not till six this morning My uncle was transported with the day with the night
I will only say that all was happy and decency good order mirth and jollity went thro the whole space Sir Charles was everywhere and with everybody He was almost as much every Ladys as mine O how he charmed them all Sir William Turner said once behind his back Of what transports did my late friend Sir Thomas▪ who doted upon his son deprive himself by keeping him so long abroad
I could not but think of what my dear Lady G once wrote that women are not so soon tired as men with these diversions with dancing particularly By three all but Sir Charles and my uncle seemed quite fatigued But recovered themselves My Emily delighted everybody She was the whole night what I wished her to be—Dear madam be not uneasy We shall be very happy in each other
O that you were with us my dearest grandmamma But you from your chearful piety and joyful expectation of happiness supreme are already tho on earth in heaven—Yet it is my wish my aunts my uncles Lucys twenty times a day that you were present and saw him The Domestic man The chearful Friend The kind Master The enlivening Companion The polite Neighbour The tender Husband Let nobody who sees Sir Charles Grandison at home say that the private station is not that of true happiness
How charmingly respectful is he to my uncle aunt and good Mr Deane To Lucy he is an affectionate brother Emily dear girl how she enjoys his tenderness to her
My uncle is writing to you madam a Letter He says it will be as long as his arm My aunt will dispatch this day a very long one Theirs will supply my defects Lucy is not quite ready with her first Letter If there were not so much of your Harriet in it I would highly praise what she has hitherto written
Thursday morning I leave to my uncle the account of the gentlemens diversions in the gardens and fields They are all extremely happy But Lord G already pines after his Charlotte He will not be prevailed on to stay out his week I doubt sweettemperd man as I see him in a thousand little amiable instances If Lady G did not love him I would not love her Lord W is afraid of a gouty attack He is never quite free He and his admirable Lady will leave us tomorrow
I think my dear Lady G with you that discretion and gratitude are the cornerstones of the matrimonial fabric Lady W had no prepossessions in any other mans favour My Lord loves her What must be that womans heart that Gratitude and Love
cannot engage But she loves my Lord Surely she does Is not real and unaffected tenderness for the infirmities of another the very essence of Love What is wanting where there is that My Sir Charles is delighted with Lady Ws goodness to his uncle He tells her often how much he reveres her for it
In our retired hours we have sometimes the excellent Lady abroad for our Subject I always begin it
He never declines it He speaks of her with such manly tenderness He thanks me at such times for allowing him as he calls it to love her He regrets very much the precipitating of her Yet pities her parents and brothers How warmly does he speak of his Jeronymo He has a sigh for Olivia But of whom except Lady Sforza and her Laurana does he not speak kindly—And them he pities Never never was there a more expanded heart
Ah madam a cloud has just brushed by us Its skirts have affected us with sadness and carried us from our sunshine prospects home that is to say to thoughts of the general destiny—Poor Sir Harry Beauchamp is no more A Letter from his Beauchamp Sir Charles shewed it to me for the honour of the writer now Sir Edward We admired this excellent young man together over his Letter What fine things did Sir Charles say on this occasion both by way of self-consolation and on the inevitable destiny But he dwelt not on the subject He has written to Lady Beauchamp and to the young Baronet How charmingly consolatory—What admirable—But Sir Charles madam is a CHRISTIAN
THIS event has not at all influenced his temper He is the same chearful man to his guests to his Harriet to everybody I am afraid it will be the cause of his first absence from me How shall I part with him tho it were but for two days
Friday noon What a vacancy Lady Mansfield and her sons Lord G and Lord and Lady W have left us Miss Mansfield is allowed to stay with me some time longer Emily is very fond of her No wonder She is a good young woman
We are busied in returning the visits of our neighbours which Sir Charles promised to do as if they were individually made to us We have a very agreeable neighbourhood But I want these visitings to be over Sir Charles and his relations and mine are the world to me These obligations of ceremony tho unavoidable are drawbacks upon the true domestic felicity One happiness however results from the hurry and bustle they put us in Emilys mind tho she not always accompanies us seems to be engaged When we are not quite happy in our own thoughts it is a relief to carry them out of ourselves
SIR Charles and I have just now had a short conversation about this dear girl We both joined in praising her and then I said I thought that some time hence Mr Beauchamp and she would make a vary happy pair
I have said he a Love for both But as the one is my own very particular friend and as the other is my ward I would rather he found for himself and she for herself another Lover and that for obvious reasons
But suppose Sir they should like each the other
So as they made it not a compliment to me but gave me reason to believe that they would have preferred each the other to every one else were they strangers to me I would not stand in their way But the man who hopes for my consent for Emily must give me reason to think that he would have preferred her to any other woman tho she had a much less fortune than she is mistress of
I am much mistaken Sir if that may not be the case of your friend
Tell me my nobly frank and everamiable Harriet what you know of this subject Has Beauchamp any thoughts of Emily—
Ah Sir thought I I dare not tell you all my thoughts but what I do tell you shall be truth
I really Sir dont imagine Emily has a thought of your Beauchamp—
Nor of any other person Has she—
Lady G Lady L and myself are of opinion that Beauchamp loves Emily
I am glad my dear if any thing were to come of it that the man loved first
I was conscious A tear unawares dropt from my eye—He saw it He solded his arm about me and kissed it from my check Why my Love my dearest Love why this and seemed surprised
I must tell you Sir that you may not be surprised I fear I fear—
What fears m• Love
That the happiest of all women cannot say that her dear man loved her first—
He folded me in his kind arms How sweetly engaging said he I will presume to hope that my Harriet by the happiest of all women means herself—You say not no I will not insult your goodness so much as to ask you to say yes But this I say that the happiest of all men loved his Harriet before she could love him and but for the honour he owed to another admirable woman tho then he had no hopes of ever calling her his would have convinced her of it by a very early declaration Let me add that the moment I saw you first distressed and terrified as you were too much to think of favour to any man I loved you And you know not the struggle it cost me my destiny with our dear Clementina so uncertain to conceal my Love—Cost me who ever
was punctiliously studious to avoid engaging a young Ladys affections lest I should not be able to be just to her and always thought what is called Platonic Love an insidious pretension
O Sir And I flung my fond arms about his neck and hiding my glowing face in his bosom called him murmuringly the most just the most generous of men
He pressed me still to his heart and when I raised my conscious face tho my eye could not bear his Now Sir said I after this kind this encouraging acknowlegement I can consent I think I can that the Lord of my heart shall see as he has more than once wished to see long before he declared himself all that was in that forward that aspiring heart—
Lucy had furnished me with the opportunity before I instantly arose and took out of a drawer a parcel of my Letters which I had sorted ready on occasion to oblige h m which from what he had seen before down to the dreadful masquerade affair carried me to my setting out with his sisters to Colnebrook
I think not to show him farther by my own consent because of the recapitulation of his family story which immediately follows particularly includeing the affecting accounts of his mothers death his fathers unkindness to the two young Ladies Mrs Oldhams story the sisters conduct to her which might have revived disagreeable subjects
Be pleased Sir said I putting them into his hands to judge me favourably In these papers is my heart laid open
Precious trust said he and put the papers to his lips You will not find your generous confidence misplaced
An opportunity offering to send away what I have written here my dearest grandmamma concludes
Your everdutiful HARRIET GRANDISON
Saturdaymorning Dec 16
I Will not trouble you my dear grandmamma with an account of the preparations we are makeing to benefit and regale our poorer neighbours and Sir Charless tenants at this hospitable season Not even Sir Charles Grandison himself can exceed you either in bounty or management on this annual Solemnity Sir Charles has consulted with Dr Bartlett and everything will be left to the direction of that good man My uncle and aunt have dispatched their directions to Selbyhouse that their neighbours and tenants may not suffer by their absence
The gentlemen are all rid out together the Doctor with them to reconnoitre the country as my uncle calls it Emily and Lucy are gone with them on horseback My aunt and I declined accompanying them and took this opportunity attended by Mrs Curzon to go thro the Offices
In the housekeepers room I received the maidservants seven in number and after her called each by her name and spoke kindly to them all I told them how handsomely Mrs Curzon spoke of them and assured them of my favour I praised the chearfulness with which Dr Bartlett had told me they attended him every day in his antechamber They should have the opportunity given them I said as often as possible I hoped that my Sally behaved well among them
They praised her
Sally said I has a serious turn Piety is the best security in man and woman for good behaviour She will seldom fail of attending the Doctor with you We shall all be happy I hope I am acquainting myself with the methods of the house Nobody shall
be put out of their good way by me My aunt only said My niece proposes to form herself on the example of the late excellent Lady Grandison
They blessed me tears in their eyes
I made each of them a present for a pair of gloves
We went thro all the Offices the lowest not excepted The very servants live in paradise There is room for every thing to be in order Every thing is in order The Offices so distinct yet so conveniently communicating—Charmingly contrived—The low servants men and women have Laws, which at their own request were drawn up by Mrs Curzon for the observance of the minutest of their respective duties with little mulcts that at first only there was occasion to exact It is a house of harmony to my hand Dear madam What do good people leave to good people to do Nothing Every one knowing and doing his and her duty and having by means of their own diligence time for themselves
I was pleased with one piece of furniture in the housekeepers room which neither you madam nor my aunt have in yours My aunt says Selbyhouse shall not be long after her return without it It is a Servants Library in three classes One of books of divinity and morality Another for housewifry A third of history true adventures voyages and innocent amusement I II III are marked on the cases, and the same on the back of each book the more readily to place and replace them as a book is taken out for use They are bound in buff for strength A little sine is laid upon whoever puts not a book back in its place As new books come out the Doctor buys such as he thinks proper to range under these three classes
I asked if there were no books of gardening I was answered that the gardener had a little house in the garden in which he had his own books But her
master Mrs Curzon said was himself a Library of gardening ordering the greater articles by his own taste
Seeing a pretty glasscase in the housekeepers apartment filled with physical matters I asked If she dispensed any of those to the servants or the poor Here is said she a collection of all the useful drugs in medicine But does not your Ladyship know the noble method that my master has fallen into since his last arrival in England What is that He gives a salary madam to a skilful apothecary and pays him for his drugs besides and these are his tho I have a key to it and this gentleman dispenses physic to all his tenants who are not able to pay for advice nor are the poor who are not his tenants refused when recommended by Dr Bartlett
Blessings on his benevolence said I O my aunt What a happy creature am I God Almighty if I disgrace not my husbands beneficence will love me for his sake—Dear creature said my aunt—And for your own two I hope
There lives in an house madam continued Mrs Curzon within five miles of this almost in the middle of the estate and pays no rent a very worthy young man brought up under an eminent surgeon of one of the London hospitals who has orders likewise for attending his tenants in the way of his business—As also every casualty that happens within distance and where another surgeon is not to be met with And he I understand is paid on a cure actually performed very handsomely But if the patient die his trouble and attendance are only considered according to the time taken up except a particular case requires consideration
And this surgeon Mrs Curzon this apothecary—
Are noted madam for being good as well as skilful men My masters test is that they are men of seriousness and good livers Their consciences he says are his security
How must this excellent man be beloved how respected Mrs Curzon
Respected and beloved madam—Indeed he is—Mr Richard Saunders has often observed to me that if my master either rides or walks in company tho of great Lords people distinguish him by their respectful love To the Lord they will but seem to lift up their hats as I may say or if women just drop the knee and look grave as if they paid respect to their quality only But to my master they pull off their hats to the ground and bow their whole bodies They look smilingly and with pleasure and blessings as I may say in their faces The good women courtesy also to the ground turn about when he has passed them and look after him—God bless your sweet face and God bless your dear heart will they say—And the servants who hear them are so delighted—Dont your Ladyship see how all his servants love him as they attend him at table How they watch his eye in silent reverence—Indeed madam we all adore him and have prayed morning noon and night for his coming hither and settling among us And now is the happy time Forgive me madam I am no flatterer But we all say He has brought another angel to bless us
I was forced to lean upon my aunt—Tears of joy trickled down my cheeks O madam what a happy lot is mine—
My uncle wonders I am not proud—Proud madam—Proud of my inferiority
We visited Mr Bartlett in his new office He is a modest ingenious young man I asked him to give me at his leisure a catalogue of the Servants Library for my aunt
O my dear said my aunt had your grandpapa had your papa your mamma lived to this day—
I will imagine said I that I see them looking down from their heaven They bid me take care to deserve
the lot I have drawn and tell me that I can only be more happy when I am what and where they are
DR Bartlett attended by his servant is returned without the gentlemen I was afraid he was not very well I followed him up and told him my apprehensions
He owned afterwards that he was a little indisposed when he came in but said I had made him well
I told him what had passed between Mrs Curzon and me He confirmed all she said
He told me that Sir Charles was careful also in improving his estates The minutest things he said any more than the greatest escaped not his attention He has said he a bricklayer a carpenter by the year a sawyer three months constantly in every year Repairs are set about the moment they become necessary By this means he is not imposed upon by incroaching or craving tenants He will do any-thing that tends to improve the estate so that it is the best conditioned estate in the county His tenants grow into circumstance under him Tho absent he gives such orders as but few persons on the spot would think of He has a discernment that goes to the bottom of everything In a few years improving only what he has in both kingdoms he will be very rich yet answer the generous demands of his own heart upon his benevolence All the people he employs he takes upon character of seriousness and sobriety as Mrs Curzon told you and then he makes them the more firmly his by the confidence he reposes in them He continually in his written directions to his masterworkmen cautions them to do justice to the tenants as well as to him and even to throw the turn of the scale in their favour You are says he my friends my workmen You must not make me both judge
and party Only remember that I bear not imposition The man who imposes on me once I will forgive But he never shall have an opportunity to deceive me a second time For I cannot act the part of a suspicious man a watchman over people of doubtful honesty
The Doctor says he is a great planter both here and in Ireland And now he is come to settle here he will set on foot several projects which hitherto he had only talked of or written about
Sir Charles I am sure said he will be the friend of every worthy man and woman He will find out the sighing heart before it is overwhelmed with calamity
He proposes as soon as he is settled to take a personal Survey of his whole estate He will make himself acquainted with every tenant and even cottager and enquire into his circumstances number of children and prospects When occasions call for it he will forgive arrears of rent and if the poor men have no prospect of success he will buy his own farms of them as I may say by giving them money to quit He will transplant one to a less another to a larger farm if the tenants consent according as they have stock or probability of success in the one or the other and will set the poor tenants in a way of cultivating what they hold as well by advice as money for while he was abroad he studied Husbandry and Law in order as he used to say to be his fathers steward the one to qualify him to preserve the other to manage his estate He was always prepared for and aforehand with probable events
Dear dear Dr Bartlett said I we are on a charming subject tell me more of my Sir Charless management and intentions Tell me all you know that is proper for me to know
Proper madam Everything he has done does and intends to do is proper for you and for all the
world to know I wish all the world were to know him as I do not for his sake but for their own
That moment without anybodys letting me know the gentlemen were returned into the Doctors apartment came Sir Charles My back was to the door and he was in the room before I saw him I started Sir Sir said I as if I thought excuses necessary
He saw my confusion That and his sudden entrance abashed the Doctor Sir Charles reconciled us both to ourselves—He put one arm round my waist with the other he lifted up my hand to his lips and in the voice of Love I congratulate you both said he Such company my dearest Life such company my dearest friend you cannot have every hour May I as often as there is opportunity see you together I knew not that you were The Doctor and I madam stand not upon ceremony Pardon me Doctor I insist upon leaving you as I found you—
I caught his hand as he was going—Dear dear Sir I attend you You shall take me with you and if you please make my excuses to my aunt for leaving her so long alone before you came in
Doctor excuse us both my Harriet has found for the first time a will It is her own we know by its obligingness
He received my offered hand and led me into company Where my aunt called me to account for leaving her and begged Sir Charles would chide me
She was with Dr Bartlett madam said he Had she been with any other person man or woman and Mrs Selby alone I think we would have tried to chide her
What obligation what sweet politeness my dear grandmamma
Such madam is the happiness of your Harriet
Lucy has a charming Letter to send you—From that Letter you will have a still higher notion of my happiness of the dear mans unaffected tenderness to
me and of the approbation of a very genteel neighbourhood than I myself could give you
Lady G and Lady L have both made up for their supposed neglects I had written to each to charge them with having not congratulated me on my arrival here Two such charming Letters—I have already answered them The love as well as over Thank heaven they do
Your HARRIET GRANDISON
Monday Dec 18
THE dearest best of men has left me Just now left me—Did not everybody keep me in countenance I should be very angry with myself for wishing that such a man should be always confined to my company I must keep my fondness within equitable bounds But kind man he seemed and if he seemed he was as loth to part with me He is gone to London madam Poor Lady Beauchamp has besought his presence not at Sir Harrys funeral He was to be interred it seems last night but at the opening of the will And his Beauchamp joined in the request
He hopes to be down with us on Thursday Miss Mansfield took the opportunity to return to her mother who sent word that she knew not how to live without her
Sir Charles was pleased to give to me the keys of his Study and of Lady Olivias Cabinets Lucy gave you madam an account of the invaluable contents And now I will amuse myself there and sit in every chair where I have seen him sit and tread over his imagined footsteps
Tuesday My books are come and all my trinkets
with them We have all been busy in classing the books My closet will be now furnished as I wish it And I shall look at these my dear companions of Selbyhouse and recollect the many many happy hours they gave me there
Was I ever ever unhappy my dear Grandmamma If I was I have forgot the time I acquiesce chearfully with your wishes not to disfurnish your gallery by sending to me our family pictures Let those of my benevolent father and my excellent mother of happy happy memory still continue there to smile upon you as you are pleased to express yourself Nobody but you and my aunt Selby have a right to each of those of mine which are honoured with a place in your respective drawingrooms My dear Sir Charles thank heaven calls the original his But why would you load me with the precious gold box and its contents less precious those tho of inestimable value than my dear grandpapas picture in the lid—But I can tell you madam that Sir Charles is an ungrateful man He will not thank you for it A remembrance madam I know what he will say
Does the best of women think my Harriet wants any-thing to remind her of the obligations she is under to parents so dear
—He will be very jealous of the honour of his Harriet Forgive madam the freedom of my expostulation as if I were not your girl as well as his
What reasons have you found out but this was always your happy your instructive way to be better pleased with your absence from us than if you were present with us as we all often wish you
HERE Lady L Lady G sisters so dear to me since these Letters will pass under your eye let me account to you by the following extract from my grandmammas last Letters for the meaning of what I have written to that indulgent parent in the lines immediately preceding
You often my dearest Harriet wish me to be with you In the first place I am here enjoying myself in my own way my own servants about me a trouble a bar a constraint upon no one but those to whom I make it worth while to bear with me I should think I never could do enough to strangers No tho I were sure they thought I did too much In the next were I to be with you at Grandisonhall I could not be everywhere So that I should be deprived of half the delightful scenes and conversations that you your aunt and Lucy relate and describe to me by pen and ink Nor should I be able perhaps to bear those grateful ones to which I should be present My heart my dear you know is very susceptible of joy it has long been preparing itself for the sublimest Grief touches it not so much The Losses I sustained of your father your mother and my own dear Mr Shirley made all other sorrows light Nothing could have been heavy but the calamity of my gentle Harriet had she been afflicted with it Now I take up the kind the rapturous Letters from my table where I spread them When the contents are too much for me I lay them down and resume them as my subsided joy will allow Then lay them down again as I am affected by some new instance of your happiness bless God bless you your dearest of men bless everybody—In every Letter I find a cordial that makes my heart light and for the time insensible of infirmity—Can you my Harriet be happier than I
I am called upon by my aunt and Lucy I will here my dear grandmamma conclude myself
Your forever obliged and dutiful HARRIET GRANDISON
A Treasure an invaluable treasure my dear grandmamma—On the table in Sir Charless own closet I took up a commonprayerbook under which on removing it I saw a paper written in Sir Charless largest hand the three last Lines of which apppearing to be very serious the first side not containing them I had the curiosity to unfold it it contains Reflections mingled and concluded with solemn addresses to the Almighty I asked leave to transcribe them On promise that a copy as his should not pass into anybodys hands but yours I obtained it
What a comfort is it on reflection that at his own motion I joined with him in the Sacramental Office on occasion of our happy nuptials the first opportunity that offered A kind of renewal in the most solemn manner of our marriage vows at least a confirmation of them No wonder that the good man who could draw up such reflections should make such a motion
What credit did he do may not one say so To religion on that happy day A man of sense, of dignity in his person known to be no bigot no superstitious man yet not ashamed to join in the sacred office with the meanest It was a glorious confession of his Christian principles Whenever he attends on public worship his seriousness his modesty his humility all shew that he believes himself in the presence of that God whose blessing he silently joins to invoke And when all is over his chearfulness and vivacity demonstrate that his heart is at ease in the consciousness of a duty performed How does my mind sometimes exult in the prospects of happiness with the man of my choice extending through divine goodness beyond this 〈…〉
I will conclude this Letter with the copy of these reflexions What is sit to come after them that can be written by
Your HARRIET GRANDISON
The REFLEXIONS
WHAT O my heart overflowing with happiness are the sentiments that ought to spring up in thee when admitted either in the solemnities of public worship or the retiredness of private devotion into the more immediate presence of thy MAKER Who does not govern but to bless Whose divine commands are sent to succour human reason in search of happiness
Let thy Law ALMIGHTY be the rule and thy glory the constant end of all I do Let me not build virtue on any notions of honour but of honour to thy Name Let me not sink piety in the boast of benevolence my Love of God in the Love of my fellowcreatures Can good be of human growth No It is thy gift Almighty And Allgood Let not thy bounties remove the Donor from my thought nor the Love of pleasures make me forsake the Fountain from which they flow When joys entice let me ask their title to my heart When evils threaten let me see thy mercy shining thro the cloud and discern the great hazard of having all to my wish In an age of such licence let me not take comfort from an inauspicious omen the number of those who do amiss An omen rather of public ruin than of private safety Let the joys of the multitude less allure than alarm me and their danger not example determine my choice What weigh public example passion and the multitude in one seale against Reason and the Almighty in the other
In this day of domineering pleasure so lower my taste as to make me relish the comforts of Life And in this day of dissipation O give me thought sufficient
to preserve me from being so desperate as in this perpetual flux of things and as perpetual swarm of accidents to depend on Tomorrow A dependence that is the ruin of Today as that is of Eternity Let my whole existence be ever before me Nor let the terrors of the grave turn back my survey When temptations arise and virtue staggers let imagination sound the final trumpet and judgment lay hold on eternal Life In what is well begun grant me to persevere and to know that none are wise but they who determine to be wiser still
And since O Lord the Fear of thee is the beginning of wisdom and in its progress its surest shield turn the world entirely out of my heart and place that guardian angel thy blessed Fear in its stead Turn out a foolish world which gives its money for what is not bread which hews out broken cisterns that hold no water a world in which even they whose hands are mighty have found nothing There is nothing Lord God Almighty in heaven in earth but thee I will seek thy face bless thy name sing thy praises love thy Law do thy will enjoy thy peace hope thy glory till my final hour Thus shall I grasp all that can be grasped by man This will heighten good and soften evil in the present life And when death summons I shall sleep sweetly in the dust till his mighty CONQUEROR bids the trumpet sound and then shall I through his merits awake to eternal glory
Dec 21
SIR Charles God be praised arrived here in safety about two hours ago He has settled every thing between Lady Beauchamp and the now Sir Edward
to the satisfaction of both for they entirely referred themselves to him This was the method he took—As their interests were not naturally the same he enquired of each separately what were the wishes of each and finding the Ladys not unreasonable he referred it to Sir Edward of his own generosity to compliment her with more than she asked
Particularly she had wished to Sir Charles that she might not be obliged to remove under a twelvemonth from the house in Berkleysquare And when Sir Charles had brought them together and pronounced between them making that an article Sir Edward on one knee thus bespoke her
All that your Ladyship demands I most chearfully comply with Instead of the year you wish to remain in Berkleysquare let me beg of you still to consider both houses as your own and me your inmate only as in the lifetime of my father I never will engage in marriage but with your approbation Let us madam be as little as possible separated Be pleased only to distinguish that I wish not this but from pure and disinterested motives I will be your servant as well as son I will take all trouble from you that you shall think trouble but never will offer so much as my humble advice to you in the conduct of your own affairs unless you ask for it
She wept We will henceforth said she have but one interest You shall be dear to me for your fathers sake Let me for the same dear sake be regarded by you Receive me excellent pair of friends proceeded she as a third in your friendship Should any misunderstanding arise which after so happy a setting out I hope cannot be let Sir Charles Grandison determine between us Justice and He are one
Sir Charles invited down to us the Lady and his Beauchamp He hopes they will come The young Baronet I dare say will Emily says she wants to
see how he will become his new dignity Very well I dare say said I Why yes such an example before him I dont doubt but he will
Lucy was present Near 4000l a year and a title said she—I think you and I my dear were we nearer of an age would contend for him
Not I Miss Selby So that I have the Love of my Guardian and Lady Grandison you may be Lady Beauchamp for me—You will be of another mind perhaps some time hence said Miss Selby—When I am replied Emily tell me of it
Sir Charles when he was in town visited his two sisters He gave me the pleasure of acquainting me that we shall be favoured with the company of Lord and Lady L as soon as her Ladyships visits and visitings are over
Mind my dear Lady G what follows
Lady L said he is all joy that her great event is happily over she and my Lord rewarded with a dear pledge of their mutual Love But is not Lady G a little unaccountable my dear
As how Sir
She hardly seems to receive pleasure in her happy prospects She appears to me peevish even childishly so to her Lord I see it the more for her endeavours to check herself before me She submits but ungraciously to the requisites of the circumstances that lays him and me and our several united families under obligation to her I was unwilling to take notice of her particular behaviour for two reasons first because she wants not understanding and would see her own error before she went too far and next because she tacitly confessed herself to be wrong by being evidently desirous to hide her fault from me But is not our Charlotte a little unaccountable my dear
What my dear Lady G should I have answered I hope you will allow me to be just I should have been most sincerely glad to have spoken a good word
for you But to attempt to excuse or palliate an evident fault looks like a claim put in for allowances for ones own
Indeed Sir she is a very unaccountable creature She is afraid of you and of nobody but you You should as she could not conceal from you her odd behaviour to one of the best of husbands and sweetesttemperd of men who loves her more than he loves himself and who is but too solicitous to oblige so unthankful a thing have taken notice of it and chidden her severely I for my part take liberties of this kind with her in every Letter I write but to no purpose I wanted you Sir to find her out yourself she will get a habit of doing wrong things and make herself more unhappy than she will make anybody else since it is possible for her to tire out her Lord How insupportable to her of all women would it be were the tables to be turned and were the man she treats so ungraciously to be brought to slight her The more insupportable as she has a higher opinion of her own understanding than she has of his
Cant you form to yourself my dear Lady G the attitude of astonishment that your brother threw himself into—
But ah my dear grandmamma do you think I said this to Sir Charles—No indeed For the world I would not have said one syllable of it But let Lady G for a moment as she reads my Letter think I did She loves to surprize why should she not be surprized in turn Her displeasure would affect me greatly But if by incurring it I could do her good and put her in a right train of thinking I would incur it and on my knees afterwards beg her to forgive me
He did make the above observation A thousand excellent qualities has my Charlotte I particularized to her brother half a dozen and those are more than
fall to the share of most of our modern people of quality and he was willing to be satisfied with them—Why Because he loves her But as she nowandthen whispers her Harriet in her Letters let me whisper her that she is under great obligation to her brother and still greater to her Lord for passing over so lightly her petulances
Thursday afternoon
WHO madam do you think is arrived Arrived just as we sat down to dinner and will stay with us this one night but he says no more—Sir Rowland Meredith Good Man and Mr Fowler The latter attended his uncle reluctantly it seems but thank God he is in pretty good health How kindly how affectionately did Sir Charles receive them both How has he already won the heart of honest Sir Rowland
LET me madam acquaint you with something generously particular of this worthy man
He desired Sir Charles to let him have me by himself for one quarter of an hour So fine a young gentleman would not he hoped be jealous of such a poor old man as he
We were in the diningroom and he rising to attend me I led him to my drawingroom adjoining He looked round him and was struck with the elegance of the room and furniture disregarding me for a few moments—Why ay said he at last This is noble This is fine Stately by mercy And he bowed to me poor man the more respectfully as I thought for what he saw And will you madam bowing again and again allow me to call you daughter I cant part with my daughter▪ Nor would I were you a queen
You do me honour Sir Rowland Call me still your daughter
Why then you must allow me—Forgive me madam
—And he saluted me Joy joy tenfold joy attend my daughter I dont know what to make of the present fashions Would Sir Charles have been affronted had I taken this liberty before him The duce is in the present age they reserve themselves to holes and corners I suppose But I am sure no creature breathing could mean more respect than I do I think only of myself as of your father
You are a good man Sir Rowland Sir Charles Grandison was prepared to love you he was prepared to value Mr Fowler
Prepared by your own respect for us madam—God love you say yes
Yes indeed I ever shall respect you both Have I not claimed a father in you Have I not claimed a brother in your nephew I never forget my relations
Charming charming by mercy And he stalked to the other end of the room wiping his eyes The very same good young Lady that you ever were But but but putting his hand in his pocket and pulling out a little box if you are my daughter you shall wear these for your fathers sake—How now madam Refuse me I command you on your obedience to accept of this—I will not be a Jackstraw father—
Indeed indeed Sir Rowland you must excuse me I thought I might have trusted myself with you alone Your generosity Sir is painful to me
I courtesied and withdrew to the company in the diningroom The good man followed me te•rs upon his cheeks the box in his hand My face glowed
She calls me father Sir Charles and refuses her obedience Here I have brought a toy or two to shew my fatherly Love to my daughter Not a soul not my nephew there knows a syllable of the matter •t was that made me call her aside
Sir Charles rose from his seat My dearest Life is not used said he to make light of a duty taking my hand You will excuse her from accepting the present Sir Rowland that would look as if you thought it necessary to bribe her to do her duty She will always acknowledge her father So will I mine But you do us honour enough in the relation.
What Sir Charles not of a present from her father to his daughter on her nuptials and as a small token of his joy on the occasion when I know not the man living out of my own family—There he stopt
My dearest Love there is no resisting this plea Your duty yourgratitude is engaged
Look you there now Look you there now God love you both everlastingly Amen—And there is the blessing of a father
I took the box courtsying low but looked silly I believe
Forgive me Sir Charles said the Knight but I must—He took my hand and kissed it—and looked as if he wished to salute me—Fathers my dear must be reverenced said Sir Charles by their children
I bent my knee and in compliance with a motion of Sir Charles leaned forward my cheek He saluted me▪ and again he blessed us both—My dear nephew said he hastening to Mr Fowler if you envy such a man as this his good fortune by mercy I will renounce you
I may envy you Sir Charles said Mr Fowler addressing himself to him in an agreeable manner I dont know how it is possible to avoid it but at the same time I revere you for your character and accomplishments You are the only man in the world whom I could cordially congratulate as I do you on your happiness
True nephew true I any more than you should never have enjoyed myself had any of the featherheaded
creatures I saw formerly endeavouring to make an interest in my daughters favour succeeded with her But you madam have chosen a man that everybody must prefer to himself
The Knight after tea moved to have the box opened When Sir Charles saw the jewels he was a little uneasy because of the value of them A costly diamond necklace and earrings a ring of price a repeating watch finely chased the chain of which is richly ornamented one of the appendages is a picture of Sir Rowland in enamel adorned with brilliants an admirable Likeness This I told him was more valuable to me than all the rest I spoke truth for so rich a present has made me uneasy He saw I was He knew he said that I could not want any of these things But he could not think of any other way to shew his Love to his daughter It was nothing to what he had intended to do in his Will had I not intimated to him that what he left me should be given among his relations I am rich madam I can tell you And what on your nuptials could I do less for my daughter
Sir Charles said This must not end so Sir Rowland But I see you are an invincible man Mr Fowler I wish you as happily married as you deserve to be Your Lady will be intitled to a return of equal value
Sir Rowland begged that he might try on the ring himself He was allowed to do so and was pleased it was not much too big He said I should not pull it off this night I kept it on to humour the worthy man
SUPPER over and a chearful glass going round with my uncle Mr Deane and the Knight Sir Rowland made it his odd request that I would permit Sir Charles to put on the necklace for me By all means I said But the Knight being very earnest
and my uncle seconding him for there was particularity enough in the motion to engage the dear odd man and Sir Charles not discouraging it my aunt and Lucy smiling all the time I thought I had better comply lest the Knight should take it into his head to request the putting it on himself Yet I was the more reluctant on poor Mr Fowlers account for his smiles were but essays to smile Sir Charles in his own graceful manner put it on bowing low to me in the gallantest manner when he had done I courtesied to him to Sir Rowland and looked silly I am sure
Friday noon
SIR Rowland and Mr Fowler have lest us They would not stay to dinner They have business to dispatch in town that will take them up some days But they were so well pleased with their reception that they promise to see us before they set out for Caermarthen
At parting Sir Rowland drew me aside Your cousin Lucy as you call her is a fine young Lady They tell me that she has a great fortune But I matter not that of a straw—Would to God my boy knew how to submit to his destiny like a man—Hem You understand me madam—Mercy I want to be akin to you—You take me madam
We are akin Sir Rowland Meredith is my father
God bless you madam I love you dearly for that And so we are But you understand me A word to the wise She is not engaged is she—I love your uncle of all men—except the king of all men your Lord and master—God bless him With what good humour he eyes us—Sir Charles one word with you if you please
I thought the Knight had his fingers ready to take hold of Sir Charless button for his hand was extended but suddenly as from recollection withdrawn
He led Sir Charles to me—And put the same question to him as he had done to me
Let me ask you my dear Sir Rowland Was this in your thought before you came hither
No by mercy—It just now struck me My nephew knew not a syllable of the matter But why you know Sir Charles should a man pine and die because he cannot have the she that he loves—Suppose you know six men love one woman as has been the case here for aught I know what a duce are five of them to hang drown or pistol themselves Or are they to outstay their time as I have done till they are fit for nobody
Women must be treated with delicacy Sir Rowland Miss Selby is a young Lady of great merit When questions are properly asked you hardly need to doubt of a proper answer
But Sir Charles is Miss Selby bona fide engaged or is she not thats the question I ask If she be I shall not say a word of the matter
My dear said Sir Charles to me
I dont know that she is answered I But Lucy will never think of a man be his qualifications ever so great if he cannot give her proofs of loving her above all women
I understand you madam—Well well and I should be nice too I can tell you for my boy But Ill sound him I must have him married before I die if possible But no more of that for the present And now God Almighty bless preserve and keep you both—I will pray for the continuance of your happiness
He kissed my hand Wrung Sir Charless Wiped his eyes Made his bow And stept into the chariot to his nephew who had taken leave of us all before
Lucy with an air so like some of dear Lady Gs put up her saucy lip when I told her of this and bid me not write it to you But I thought were
nothing to come of it it would divert my grandmamma as I am sure it will Lady G
God preserve the most indulgent and pious of Parents and my two Sisters and their Lords including the honoured Lord and Lady you Lady G are with prays
Her everdutiful and their everaffectionate HARRIET GRANDISON
Tuesday Jan 9
I Have been obliged by the just demands made upon us by the equallysolemn and joyful season to be silent for many days You madam and you Ladies L and G have I doubt not been engaged in consequence of the same demand—so will excuse me especially as Lucy and my aunt have both written and that very minutely in the interim
Mr Deane to our great joy has signified to us his intention to live near us and to present his house at Peterborough to one of his two nephews
Sir Charles has besought him to consider Grandisonhall as his own house He promises that he will I hope by my care of him to be an humble means of prolonging his life at least of making his latter days chearful
What a happy season has this been to scores of people in our neighbourhood but most to ourselves as the giver is more blessed than the receiver Such admirable management Such good order—But I told you that all was left to Dr Bartletts direction What a blessing is he to us and all around him
Sir Charles has a Letter from Mr Lowther who is on his return from Bologna By the date it should have arrived a fortnight ago So that he may be every day expected
Mr Lowther lets him know that the family at Bologna are all in spirits on the prospect they have of carrying their point with Lady Clementina who however for the present declines the visits of the Count of Belvedere and they humour her in that particular
Mr Lowther is afraid he says that all is not quite right as to her mind Poor Lady He judges so from the very great earnestness she continues to express to make a visit to England
She received he says with great intrepidity the news of Sir Charless marriage She besought a blessing upon him and his bride but since has been thoughtful reserved and sometimes is found in tears When challenged she ascribed once her grief to her apprehensions that her malady may possibly return
The physicians have absolutely given their opinion that she should marry
The General is expected from Naples to urge the solemnity and vows that he will not return till she is actually Countess of Belvedere
She begs that she may be allowed again to pass the Apennines and visit Mrs Beaumont at Florence in order to settle her mind
She dreads to see the General
How I am grieved for her—Sir Charles must be afflicted too Why why will they not leave to time the pacifier of every woe the issue of the event upon which they have set their hearts
Mr Lowther writes that Signor Jeronymo is in a fine way
Mr Lowther in his Letter acquits Sir Charles of all obligation to himself He returns him bills for the sum he had advanced and declares that he never will enter into his presence if he refuses to accept of his acquittance The family he tells him have nobly rewarded him
Dr Bartlett applauds Mr Lowthers spirit on this
occasion As Sir Charles he says is not an ostentatious man but judges of every thing according to the rules of right and prudence he has no doubt tho he might not expect this handsome treatment but he will acquiesce with it This however lessens not the comparative merit of Mr Lowther There are men I believe who having succeeded so well would have accepted of a reward from both parties Yet on recollection Sir Charles stipulated with Mr Lowther that he should receive no fee but from himself And his present to the worthy man was the ampler on that account
I have two charming Letters from the Countess of D By her permission I have shewn to Sir Charles the correspondence between that good Lady and me He greatly admires her She desires that he will be acquainted with her son and declares she will always look upon me as her daughter and call me so Sir Charles bids me tell her that he cannot consent to her calling me so unless she will look upon him as her son and unless my Lord will allow him to call him brother He bid me express his wishes of a friendship with both answerable to that desirable relation
My uncle says he knows not such a place as Selbyhouse Shirleymanor indeed he loves for the sake of the dear mistress of it But as long as he has with him his Dame his Harriet Mr Deane and Sir Charles he is happy Yet my aunt nowandthen gets upon a rising ground in the park and asks pointing Does not Northamptonshire lie off there
Emily is very good in the main Dear girl I do pity her Her young heart so early to be tried and tormented by the stings of hopeless Love—Her eyes just now were fixed for several minutes so much Love in them on the face of her guardian that his modest eye sell under them
I will give you on this occasion the particulars
of a conversation that passed between us which at the conclusion let in a little dawn of hope that the dear girl may be happy in time
I had more than once been apprehensive that her eyes would betray her to her guardian who at present imputes all her reverence for him to gratitude and as soon as he was withdrawn with a true sisterly tenderness Come hither my Love said I I was busy with my needle—She came
My dearest Emily if you were to look with so much earnestness in the face of any other man as you sometimes do and just now did in that of your guardian and the man a single man he would have hope of a wife
Highho sighed she Did my guardian mind me—I hope he did not so much madam as you do
So much as I do my Love
Yes madam When my guardian is present, you do look very hard at me But I hope I am not a confident girl
You are serious my Emily
And so is my dear Lady Grandison
I was a little surprised The child abashed me Her Love thought I will make her hardy without intending to be so
She was too innocent even for consciousness of having disconcerted me She looked upon my work What would I give madam to be so fine a workwoman as you—But why that sigh madam
The poor Lady Clementina said I I was really thinking of her
Do you sigh for everybody madam that loves my guardian
There are different sorts of Love Emily
Why so I think Nobody loves my guardian better than I myself do But it is not the Love that Lady Clementina bears him I love his goodness
And does not Clemementina
Yes yes but still the Love is different
Explain my dear your kind of Love
Impossible
Why now sighs my Emily You asked me why I sighed I have answered it was from pity
Why madam I can pity Lady Clementina and I do But I sigh not for her because she might have had my guardian and would not
I sigh for her the more for that very reason Emily her motive so great
Pho pho her motive When he would have allowed her to be of her own religion
Then you sigh not now for Clementina Emily
I believe not
For whom then
I dont know You must not ask A habit and nothing else
Again sighs my Emily
You must not mind me madam A habit I tell you But believe me Lady Grandison hiding her blushing face in my bosom her arms about my neck I believe if the truth were known—
She stopt but continued there her glowing cheek—
What my dear if the truth were known
I dare not tell you You will be angry at me
Indeed my love I will not
O yes but you will
I thought we had been sisters my dear I thought we were to have no secrets Tell me what if the truth were known
Why madam for a trial of your forgivingness tell me Are you not apt to be a little jealous
Jealous my Emily You surprise me Why of whom of what jealous Jealousy is doubt of whom should I doubt
People have not always cause I suppose madam
Explain yourself my dear
Are you not angry with me madam
I am not But why do you think me jealous
You need not indeed My guardian adores you You deserve to be adored—But you should allow a poor girl to look upon her guardian nowandthen with eyes of gratitude Your charming eye is so ready to take mine to task—I am if I know myself a poor innocent girl I do love my guardian thats certain So I ever did you know madam And let me say before he knew there was such a Lady in the world as yourself madam
I threw aside my work and clasping my arms about her And love him still my Emily You cannot love him so well as he deserves You are indeed a dear innocent but not a poor girl You are rich in the return of his Love I will ever ever be a promoter of an affection so innocent so pure on both sides But jealousy my dear do you charge me with jealousy Impossible I should deserve it My only concern is lest as the heart is guessed at by the eyes the hearts of young creatures especially whose good minds are incapable of art or design you should give room for the censorious who know not as I do that your Love is reverence next to filial to attribute it to a beginning of the other sort of Love which yet in you were it kindled would be as bright and as pure a flame as ever warmed a virgin heart
O madam how you express yourself What words you have They go to my heart—I dont know how it is But every day I reverence more and more my guardian Reverence Yes that is the proper word I thank you for it Filial reverence Just the thing And let me say that I never reverenced him so much as now that I see what a polite what a kind what an affectionate husband he makes my dear Lady Grandison Yet let me tell you truth madam I should I am afraid be such a littleminded poor creature that if I were married and had not a husband that was very like him I should envy you I should be at least unhappy
If you could be envious my dear you would be unhappy But you must never encourage the addresses of a man who you think loves you not better than any other woman Who is not a good man upon principle Who is not a man of sense: and that has seen something of the world
And where madam can such a man be found
Leave it to your guardian my dear He if anybody will find you a man that you may be happy with if your eye be not aforehand with your judgment
That madam I hope it will not be First because the reverence I have for my guardian and his great qualities will make all other men look little in my eye and next as I have such a confidence in his judgment that if he points his finger and says Thats the man Emily I will endeavour to like him But I believe I never now shall like any man on earth
It is early days my Love but is there not some one man that were you of age to marry you would think better of than of any other
I dont know what to say to that It is early days as you say I am but a girl But girls have thoughts I will tell you madam that the man who has passed some years in the company of Sir Charles Grandison who is beloved by him on proof on experience as I may say of his good heart—She stopt
Beauchamp my dear
Why yes Him I mean He is the most to be liked of any man but my guardian But he now is a great man and I suppose may have seen the woman he could love
I fansy not my dear
Why do you fansy not madam
Because if I must speak as freely to you as I would have you do always to me I think he shews great and uncommon respect to you tho you are so young a creature
Thats for my guardians sake But be that as it will let me be secure of my guardians Love and yours and I shall have nothing to wish for
Her guardian my guardian my friend my Lover my HUSBAND every sweet word is one coming in put an end to the subject I leave this conversation to your own reflexions my dear grandmamma Lady L Lady G But I have hopes from it
Saturday Sunday Jan 20 21
ANOTHER long silence Lucy will supply all my defects She will tell you how much I have been engaged She has sent you a charming Letter filled with observations on the good order established here before our arrival by Dr Bartlett and Mrs Curzon with accounts of some particular charities both public and private that deserve to be imitated by all who have ability and of our visit made last Wednesday at Mansfieldhouse
The Lady of it would not part with us till Thursday the days being short and the weather unfavourable Mr Dobson and his Lady were guests there He is a credit to his cloath his wife to him They are greatly beloved by all who know them Lady Mansfield and Miss Mansfield are all that is polite and good The three brothers were there The eldest who was once a melancholy man is now one of the chearfullest With what pleasure did I meditate as I looked upon them the restoration of such a worthy and antient family to affluence They were born to it Yet when they were deprived of it how glorious was the resignation of mother and daughters And now how easy sits the prosperity upon them Never saw I eyes more expressive of gratitude to a benefactor
than those both of Ladies and Gentlemen as they were often cast upon my dear Sir Charles
I heartily wish Mr Orme may find his expectations answered in the second voyage Nancy tells me he is preparing for to Lisbon She will make known my best wishes for the restoration of his health How good is his sister to accompany him—I always loved her
I received yesterday yours madam acquainting me with Mr Grevilles visit and proposal and asking my opinion of the latter and whether I would choose to mention it to Lucy and my aunt What can I say You once told me madam that you believed Lucy would not have refused Mr Greville had he first applied to her Lucys grandmother you say is not averse to the match and you think my uncle would not refuse his consent because of the contiguity of their respective estates and in hopes that he might resume with success on such an event his favourite project of exchange of lands Yet I am sure this consideration would have no weight with him if he thought Lucy could not be happy with Mr Greville
I have mentioned it to my aunt She says Mr Greville is not a bashful man He knows how to apply to Lucy himself And she has no notion in such a case of that pride which withholds him till he thinks himself sure of the familyinterest
He will if possible he says be related to me Let that be mentioned to Lucy as one of his principal motives and his business with her is done for ever
Lady G would laugh at the notion of a difficulty from a first Love First Love she calls first nonsense Too frequently it is so Lucy is a noble girl She has overcome a first attachment the more laudably as it cost her some struggles to do it Mr Greville I doubt has had several first Loves This transition therefore, is nothing to him So neither of them
will be first Love to the other It may therefore be a match of discretion Yet his character The reformation he boasts of—I hope he is reformed But I have no notion of a good young woman as Lucy is trusting her person I may say her principles to the arbitrary will of an impetuous man who has been an a vowed Libertine and pretend not to have reformed from proper convictions A scoffer too How came he by his new Lights—You madam have told us young folks the difficulty of overcoming evil habits I own that Lucy alway spoke of him with more faviour than anybody else She was inclined to think him a goodnatured man and was pleased with what she called humour in him Humour I never could call it so Humour I used to tell her is a gentle a decent tho a lively thing Mr Greville is boisterous impetuous rude I had almost said His courtship to me was either rant or affront the one to shew his Plaindealing the other his Love He knows not what respectful Love is In short his mirth his goodnature as it is called has fierceness in it it always gave me apprehension
As to worldly matters there can be no exception to him But I cannot be of the opinion of Lucys grandmother that he is a generous man He has only qualities that look like generosity His start to me when he resigned his pretensions to me as they have been called for I know not any he had was only a start He could not hold it But be all these things as they may how can I who love Lucy as myself propose to the dear girl a man whom I could not think of for myself Lucy has a fine fortune and surely there are men enow in the world who have never made pretensions to Lucys cousin who would think themselves honoured by her acceptance otherwise I should after Sir Rowlands hint and earnest wishes in his nephews favour much sooner recommend Mr Fowler to her than Mr Greville
MY aunt had said that for her part she should choose to leave the above affair to its own workings Yet could not forbear to acquaint Lucy with it The dear girl came to me to demand a sight of your Letter and of what I had written upon it I could not tho I had some little reluctance to shew her the latter deny her I will give you madam the substance of a short dialogue that passed between us on the occasion and leave it to you to draw such conclusions from it as you shall judge proper with regard to my Lucys inclinations
She did not know what I meant she said by writeing to you that she had always spoken of Mr Greville with more favour than anybody else
It is ungenerous Lucy if you are angry at what you would oblige me to shew you against my will
I am not angry But—She stopt and would not explain her half sullen BUT O Lucy thought I you are a woman my dear
As to what you write said she of his desire of being related to you who would not—If that be not his principal motive—Very well Lucy thought I
I know said she that my grandmamma Selby has often wished Mr Greville would make his addresses to her granddaughter—So So So Lucy thought I
His Libertinism indeed is an objection—But I have not heard lately of any enormities—
Go on Lucy thought I Hitherto appears not any reason for Mr Greville to despair
He may have seen his folly
No doubt but he has thought I He saw it all the time he was committing it But perhaps he is the more determined bad man for that Is not purity of heart thought I as well as of manners an eligible thing
If a woman is not to marry till she meet with a strictly virtuous man—
You have too often pleaded that argument Lucy to me—I am sorry—I stopt willing to hear her quite out for she held before her what I had written
How came he you ask said she by his new lights I have nothing to do with how he came by them I should rather indeed he had them from proper convictions—But if he has them thats enough
Is it my dear let him have been what he will
I am for judging charitably—
Charming thought I—judging charitably So I have lost a virtue and you Lucy have found it▪
Mr Greville is nothing to me Nor ever will be
Not quite so sure of that thought I to myself
You say Harriet you have no notion of a good young woman trusting her principles to the arbitrary will of a man who has been a free Liver—Must the man be arbitrary—Were a husband a free Liver must a wifes own principles be endangered
These questions from my Lucy thought I
A scoffer you say Harriet—The mans a fool for that—But what a poor soul must she be that could not silence a scoffer
Silence a scoffer Ah Lucy said I And would you marry a man with a hope to be able to silence him Mr Greville is a conceited man My Lucy has six times his sense but he will not be convinced of that You will have the less influence upon him if he is jealous of the superiority of your understanding Mr Greville is obstinate as well as conceited Few men I believe will own conviction from a wifes arguments
To be sure the man is not a Sir Charles Grandison Who is—Let him as my aunt Selby says apply to me I shall give him his answer
You would wish he should Lucy
I dont say so
I fancy Lucy you would not be very cruel if he did
You fancy I would not—But I can as you always
did treat the man who professes to love me with civility yet not throw myself into his arms at the first word—
First word Lucy No The second or third or fourth is time enough so the man is not mean time rendered quite hopeless
Very well Lady Grandison But let me go on with what you have written—Goodnatured man—I do think he is not an illnatured man
So much the better for himself and his future wife Lucy
That will not be I Lady Grandison
Perhaps not Lucy
—Humour I do think he is a humorous goodnatured man A little too vehement perhaps in his mirth a little too frolic But who is faultless
Proceed my Lucy
—Generous
Not a generous man—Qualities that look like generous ones
—You are a nice distinguisher Harriet you always were—But here you tell your grandmamma that you had rather I should have Mr Fowler than Mr Greville—
Well my dear and what say you to that
Why I say I think you are not so nice for me in this case as you are in others
How so
How so Why is there not a difference between the actual proposals made by Mr Greville to Mrs Shirley and Sir Rowlands undertaking to try to prevail upon Mr Fowler to make his addresses to me
Granted my dear—I have not a word more to say in behalf of Mr Fowler Mr Greville Lucy—
Is a man I never will have—
No rash resolutions my dear And yet I believe a woman has seen the same man in a very different light when he has offered himself to her acceptance from what she did before
I believe so—But I had a mind to sound you Harriet and to come at your opinion—
You were intitled to it Lucy without attempting to sound me for it
True But we women sometimes choose to come at a point by the roundabouts rather than by the forerights
That is Lucy either when we think the foreright way as you call it would not answer our wishes or when we are not willing to open our own hearts
Your servant my dear But the cap fits not Whenever I speak to you my heart is upon my Lips
Let me try then in this one doubtful instance that I ever had from you of its being so Do you think of encouraging Mr Grevilles proposal
It is not a proposal till it comes in a direct way to myself
Very well my dear—I say no more till it does
SIR Charles has just now heard that Mr Lowther is arrived in London He longs so I am sure do I to know how affairs are situated in Italy O for good news from thence Then will my happiness in this Life be perfected
Grandisonhall Thursday Jan 25
MR Lowther arrived here last night Sir Charles gave him a most welcome reception He presented him to all our guests with expressions of the warmest friendship and then retired with him to his Study He soon led him back to company and seating him drew a chair between my aunt and me—You must have curiosity my dearest Love said he
Behold the sisterexcellence of Lady Clementina Mr Lowther Not a person of her family is more concerned for the happiness of that Lady than this dearest and most generous of women Every one of my friends present looking round him is an admirer of her—We cannot my dear applying to me know for certainty the destiny of that excellent Lady from Mr Lowther He passed a week at Lyons a fortnight at Paris on his return to England But my Jeronymo is in a fine way thank God and resolves to visit us in the spring
I hope Sir said my aunt to Mr Lowther you left Lady Clementina well and happy in her mind
She was at Florence answered he when I left Italy She has been pretty much indisposed there The General the Bishop and Father Marescotti had been with her She was expected at Bologna very soon By this time I have no doubt she is Countess of Belvedere
By her own consent I hope then Mr Lowther said I eagerly
He shook his head—As to that said he she has the most indulgent of parents—
They cannot be so Mr Lowther if they would compel her to marry any man to whom she has an indifference
They will not compel her madam—
Persuasion Sir in the circumstances this excellent Lady is in is compulsion
I think it may be justly called so said Sir Charles Mr Lowther they should not have been so precipitating
So you have always told them Sir Charles Signor Jeronymo is entirely of your opinion Yet is earnest in the Count of Belvederes favour The Count adores her
Adores her Sir said I Adores himself for so it should be said pardon me Sir of a man who prefers
not the happiness of the object beloved to his own I felt my face glow
Generous warmth said Sir Charles—laying his hand on mine
For my part replied Mr Lowther I am only afraid of the return of her malady If it do not return and she can be prevailed on her piety will reconcile her to a duty—
A duty Mr Lowther interrupted I—So imposed—A duty—
I knew not what I said I thought at that instant I did not like Mr Lowther
My uncle aunt and the rest of us thought Sir Charles and Mr Lowther would be glad to be left alone and retired early
My aunt my Lucy and I had a good deal of discourse upon this interesting subject Emily present
We all foresaw that the situation of this admirable Lady would overcloud a little we hoped but a little the happiest days that ever mortals knew The sincere value said my aunt that you have for so deserving a woman and your native generosity will be your security for happiness my dear and will six on a durable base your mutual Love But this Ladys trials will however be trials to you God give her peace of mind it is all we can hope for in her favour To you the continuance of your present happiness greater cannot fall to the lot of mortal
She left me I retired to my pen
THUS far have I written Tis late Sir Charles is coming up—And I am here at my pen I will compliment him with a place in my closet while I retire—Goodnight my dearest grandmamma Pray for your Harriet and pray for Clementina
Friday morning
SIR Charles would have withdrawn to his Study
when he found me at my pen I besought him to sit down in my closet
Remove your papers then my dear
No need Sir These putting what I had been just writing and those I had written the day before on one side of my desk I would not Sir except you have a curiosity wish you to see at present These Sir you may if you please amuse yourself with
I will take down one of your books my Love I will not look into any of your written papers
Dear generous Sir look into them all—Look into both parcels Something about Lucy something of what Mr Lowther has talked of in that parcel—Read any of the written papers before you
A generous mind my Love will not take all that is offered by a generous mind Hasten my Harriet It is late My mind is a little disturbed Yours I am afraid is generously uneasy In your faithful bosom will I repose all my cares
I pressed his hand between both mine and would have pressed it with my lips But kissing my hands first one then the other—Condescending goodness said he God continue to me my Harriets Love and make Clementina not unhappy and what can befal me that will not add thankfulness to thankfulness
With what soothing tenderness did he afterwards open his generous heart to his Harriet He was indeed disturbed For Mr Lowther had told him that the General I dont love him was quite cruel—At one time he threatened the excellent creature He called her ungenerous ungrateful undutiful—She fell down at his seet in a fainting fit He left her in anger—Staid not to recover or sooth her—Yet returned in about two hours his conscience stinging him and on his knees besought her pardon—Received it—The dear saint forgave the soldierly man—Yet he persisted and turned his threatenings into worse if possible than threatenings into persuasion
If I have an enemy said the dear creature to her brothers who has conceived a mortal antipathy to me let him insinuate himself into the favour of those most dear to me and prevail upon them to attack me with all the powers of persuading Love in order to induce me to do the thing whatever it be most contrary to my heart And then will the instigator wreak upon me his whole vengeance and make me think death itself an eligible refuge
Sir Charles sighed at repeating this I wept How happy thought I more than once are you best of men in your own reflections that a woman so excellent who cannot be happy with any other man herself refused you and persisted in her refusal though you sought all ways and used all arguments to bring her to a change of determination What otherwise would have been your regret And how unhappy should I have been in the consciousness of being in her place and of having dispossessed her of a heart to which she had so much better pretensions Now has he no room for remorse but for friendly pity only and for wishes to relieve her afflicted heart Of what a blessing is that man possessed who when calamity assails him can acquit himself his intentions at least and say
This I have not brought upon myself It is an inevitable evil A dispensation of Providence I will call it and submit to it as such
Methinks madam I could spare this excellent woman some of my happiness Have I not more than mortal ever knew before
Sir Charles mentioned to me that Lady Olivia in her last Letter to him intimated her desire to come over once more to England But he hoped what he had written to dissuade her from it would have weight with her I told him I wished that Lady the wife of some worthy man whose gratitude and affection she by her great fortune might engage
But Sir said I I cannot cannot wish be the Count of Belvedere ever so good a man that Lady Clementina were married
What would my Harriet wish for Lady Clementina circumstanced as she is
I dont know But the woman who has loved Sir Charles Grandison with a heart so pure can never be happy with any other man
You are ever obliging my Love You judge of Clementina as she deserves to be judged of as to the purity of her heart But—He stopt
But what my dear Sir—Alas she says that you have strengthened the hands of her friends Am I forgiven before I go any further
Not my Harriet if you think it necessary to ask such a question Blame me always when you think me wrong I shall doubt your Love if you give me reason to question your freedom
Dear Sir—But answer me Would you have Clementina circumstanced as she is marry
What answer can I return to my Harriets question when sometimes I am ready to favour the parents pleas at others the daughters I would not have her either compelled or overearnestly persuaded The family plead
That their happiness her health and peace depend on her marriage They cannot bear to think of rewarding Laurana for her cruelty with an estate that never was designed for her and to the cutting it off as it may happen from their Giacomo and his descendants for ever in case Clementina assumes the veil The health▪ of the father and mother are declining They wish but to live to see the alliance with the Count of Belvedere take place The noble Lady gave reasons that could be answered She had by her own magnanimity got over a greater difficulty if I may presume to say so than they had required her to struggle with how could I avoid advising her to yield to the supplications
of parents of brothers of an uncle who however mistaken in the means by which they seek to obtain their wishes love not their own souls better than they love their Clementina
It was besides a measure by which only at the time I could demonstrate and the General I know considered it as a test that I really gave up all hopes of her myself—And when I had owned that there was a woman with whom I had no doubt of being happy could I engage her to accept of me they all besought me for their sakes for Clementinas to court that acceptance having hopes that tho she could not set me an example she would follow mine
This my dearest Life was the occasion as I told your friends of accelerating my declaration to you I could not else either for the sake of your delicacy or my own so soon have made proposals not even to Mrs Shirley for situated as I was I could not think of applying to you till I had strengthened myself as I hoped to do by her interest Your generous acceptance signified to me by that good Lady has for ever obliged me I regarded it my Harriet circumstanced as I had been and shall ever regard it as a condescension which as I told that Lady at the time laid me under an obligation that I never by my utmost gratitude shall be able to repay
O Sir well have you shewn that you meant what you said How poor a return hiding my face in his generous bosom is my Love for so much goodness and kind consideration
He clasped me to the faithfullest of human hearts
But dear Sir I find I find on the whole that you think Lady Clementina has not so much reason on her side as her parents have on theirs
My tenderness for her my dear because of her unhappy malady and my apprehension of a return of it together with my admiration of her noble qualities
prejudice me strongly in her favour If she could be convinced by their motives I should be ready to own my convictions in favour of these But if she cannot neither can I so partial am I in the cause of a Lady I so sincerely admire and who has been so much afflicted But what in the situation they and she were in remain for me to do but to advise the family to proceed with tenderness and patience that their Clementina might have time to weigh to consider their reasons their indulgence You my dear shall see in the copies of the Letters I have written since I have been in England my remonstrances to them on their precipitating her But they were in a train They presumed on the characteristic duty of their Clementina They flattered themselves that sometimes she seemed to relent They conceived hopes from the expressions of compassion for the Count of Belvedere which sometimes she let fall The General who though a generous man can do nothing moderately would not be satisfied with cold measures as he called them and not doubting his sisters acquiescence with her duty if once she could be prevailed upon to think her compliance such they were resolved to pursue the train they were in But in order to avoid their importunities how has the dear Clementina shifted the scene from Bologna to Florence from Florence to Bologna and once for that purpose wanted to go to Urbino once to Naples and even as you have seen to come to England—But now by this time most probably they have succeeded God give happiness to the dear Clementina
Most cordially did I join in the prayer
The next Letters from Italy must acquaint us with the unwishedfor success of the family and the poor Ladys thraldom Can my dear grandmamma the Count of Belvedere really be a good a generous man to solicit the favour of a hand that he knows will not
be accompanied by a heart Can the man be said to know what true Love is who prefers not the happiness of the beloved object to his own who can in short think he can be happy tho the person he professes to love shall be unhappy
Thank God this dreadful Lot has not been drawn by
Your HARRIET GRANDISON
I am glad my dear Lady G that you are returned to Grosvenorsquare Be easy be patient my Charlotte We shall have I hope many happy days together at Grandisonhall at Grosvenorsquare at every place where we shall be You are a dear fretful creature—But not half so petulant I hope in behaviour as on paper to me Let us think of nothing grievous my Charlotte but of the unhappy situation of poor Lady Clementina And let us join to pray for her happiness
Saturday morning Feb 3
EMILY and I have had another conversation She had been more grave and solemn than usual from the time of the last of which I gave you an account
Her Anne had taken notice to Sally of a change in the temper of her young mistress She knew not how to please her she said From the bestnatured young Lady in the world she was grown one of the most peevish and she had taken the Liberty to tell her that she must quit her service if she found her so hard to be pleased
Do then was her answer I wont be threatened by you Anne You seem to have found out your
consequence with me Go Anne as soon as you will I wont be threatened Anne I have enough to vex me without being disturbed by you
The honest maid who dearly loves her and has been with her ever since she was seven years old and was much approved for her fidelity and good behaviour by her father burst out into tears and would in a mild and humble manner have expostulated with her Let me beseech you madam said she to permit me a word or two by way of dutiful expostulation But she hurried from her—I wont hear you Anne You have begun at the wrong end You should have expostulated and not threatened first And then going up to her closet She locked herself in
I pitied the dear girl Too well I thought I could account for this change of temper in her So exceeding good her guardian to her her gratitude augmented her Love Dont I know how that might easily be Yet thought I it would half break her heart if he were to assume reserve—I would not for her sake have him imagine there was a necessity for a change of his behaviour to her And indeed if he were to be more reserved what would that do So good a man so uniform his goodness the poor Emily must acquit him and condemn herself yet have no cure for her malady
Sally offered Anne to acquaint me with what had passed But the good young woman begged she would not Her young Lady was so tenacious she said young Lady like of her authority that she would never forgive her if she were known to make an appeal to me or to my aunt And to complain without a probability of redress the prudent creature observed except to her as one Ladys woman to another would expose her beloved young mistress when perhaps the present grievance might be cured by time assiduity and patience
This was necessary to premise
Sir Charles my Uncle and Mr Deane having rode out pretty early this morning to breakfast at Sir William Turners and my aunt and Lucy retiring after breakfast to write and I to my closet for the same purpose Emily came and tapped at my door I instantly opened it
I intrude madam—No my dear
I had observed at supper last night and at breakfast this morning that she had been in tears tho nobody else did for the above hints privately given me by Sally made me more observant of her motions
I took her hand and would have placed her by me—No madam said she let me stand I am not worthy of sitting down in your presence
Her eyes were brimful of tears but as she twinkled in hopes to disperse them I would not take such full notice of them as might make them run over if they could be dispersed Yet mine I believe glistened sympathetically
In my presence my Emily my friend Why why this
I stood up Your elder sister my Love sits not while her younger stands
She threw her arms about me and her tears ran over This goodness this goodness kills me—I am I am a most unhappy creature—Unhappy from the grant of my own wishes—O that you would treat me severely I cannot cannot support myself under the hourly instances which I receive of your goodness
Whence my dearest Emily these acknowlegements I do love my Emily And should be either ungrateful or insensible to the merits of my beloved Sister did I not do all in my power to make her happy What can I do for her that is not her due
She struggled herself out of my embracing arms withdrawing hers—Let me let me go madam—
She hurried into the adjoining apartment I followed her and taking her hand Leave me not in this perplexity my Emily I cannot part with you If you love your Harriet as she loves her Emily you will put me in the way of alleviating this anguish of the most innocent and most amiable of minds Open your heart to me my dear
O Lady Grandison the deserving wife of the best of men you ought to hate me
My dearest Emily said I
Indeed you ought
Let us sit down on this Sofa if you will not return to my closet
I sat down She sat by me leaning her glowing face on my shoulder I put one arm round her neck with the other hand I grasped one of hers Now my dear I conjure you by the friendship that is between us the more than sisterly friendship open your whole heart to me and renounce me if it be in my power to heal the wounds of your mind and I do not pour into them the balm of friendly Love
What can I say—Yesterday my dearest Lady Grandison I received an answer to a case I put to Dr Bartlett of a young creature who—I cant tell you—
She wept raised her head dried her eyes again leaned her face on my shoulder again I put my arm round her neck—Your case my Love
Ah madam My case—Did you say My case
I asked my dear not as for your case any other than as for the case you put to the Doctor
He has not told you▪ madam
Indeed he has not said a word of your consulting him
I had rather tell you myself I am afraid he guesses who the young woman is O the poor cunning—I am a weak silly creature—He certainly guesses—
May I my Love see the case—May I see the answer to it
I have burnt them both—In a fit of anger at myself that I should expose myself for he certainly guesses who the young woman is I threw them in the fire
But you can tell me the case You can give me the substance of the answer
How can I You of all women You madam whom I best love of all women but who ought to hate to despise me
Trust me Love with your secret It shall never without your Leave pass this faithful bosom if it be a secret that already I do not guess at
She started—Guess at madam
Dont start at what I say my Love
O you cannot cannot guess at it If you did—
What if I did
Then would you banish from your presence for ever the justly hated Emily Then would you make my guardian renounce me
Shall I my dear tell you what I guess
Whisper me then throwing about me the hand I held not But whisper me that I may not hear
You love your guardian my Emily—He loves you
O madam
He will always love you so will I
Banish the criminal from your presence for ever rising yet again laying her face on my shoulder—and clasping her arms about me Hide me hide me from myself
No need my dear Everybody loves your guardian You cannot love him but with innocence Your Love is founded in gratitude So was mine Dont I know how to allow for my Emily
You will banish fear from my heart madam by this your goodness to me I find I may own all my weakness my folly to you and the rather as I shall intitle myself by it to your advice I wanted to do
it but was afraid you would hate me In the same circumstances I doubt I should not be so generous as you are O that I had not put my case to the Doctor
The Doctor my dear is all goodness He will keep your secret—
And not tell my guardian madam▪ any thing about it It would be worse than death to me if my guardian should mistrust me He would hate the poor Emily if you did not
He never shall know it my dear You have already engaged the Doctor to secrecy I doubt not
I have
He will inviolably keep your secret no fear especially as your charming ingenuousness to me will be a means of putting you and me my Love on finding expedients that shall equally secure your honour and your guardians regard for you
That madam is the very thing
Open then to me your innocent heart my dear Regard me as your friend your sister and as if I were not the happy wife of your beloved guardian—
And so I will—I did not madam mistrust myself till the solemnity had passed that made you and my guardian one Then I began to be uneasy with myself and the more as I was for hiding myself from myself as I may say for I was afraid of looking into my heart Why so thought I Am I not an innocent girl What do I wish for What can I hope for Do I not love Lady Grandison I do Yet nowandthen—Dont hate me madam I will reveal to you all my heart and all my weakness
Proceed my Emily This is indeed a token of your love of your confidence in me What a compliment does my dearest younger sister make to her elder
Yet nowandthen something like Envy I thought arose in my heart And can your countenance forbear to change when I tell you of Envy
If it did it would be from compassionate Love to my Emily You dont know my dear how my heart dilates on this your most agreeable confidence in me
God bless that dear heart—There never was such a heart as yours Well but I will go on if you please
Do my dear
Here thought I once that I was resolved to call myself to account did I ask the favour of being allowed to live with my guardian and his Lady when they were married And what did I mean by it Nothing but innocence believe me Well and my request is granted This was all that I thought was wanting to make me happy But said I to myself am I happy No Do I love my guardian less No Do I love Lady Grandison more for granting me this favour I admire her more I think and I have a grateful sense of her goodness to me But I dont know how it is—I think tho I dearly love her yet I would be sometimes glad I did not quite so well Ungrateful Emily And severely I took myself to task Surely pity madam is near akin to Love for while your suspenses lasted I thought I loved you better than I loved my own heart But when you were happy and there was no room for pity wicked wretch that I was I wanted methought sometimes to lower you—Dont you hate me now
No no my Emily my Pity as you say increases my Love of you Proceed child your mind is the unsullied book of nature: Turn to another Leaf Depend upon my kindest allowances I knew before you knew it yourself that you loved your guardian
Before I knew it myself Why that might be So I went on reasoning with myself—
What Emily canst thou love thy guardian more and Lady Grandison with all her goodness to me not more—And canst thou mingle envy with admiration of
her—Ah silly and worse that silly girl where may this end—Lord bless me If I suffer myself to go on thus shall I not be the most ungrateful of creatures Shall I not instead of my guardians love incur his hatred Will not all the world despise me—And where may this stop
—Yet I went on excusing myself for I knew I had no vile meaning I knew I only wanted my guardian to love me and to be allowed to love him But what thought I at last can I allow myself inloving a married man the husband of my friend And sometimes I trembled at the thought for I looked back and said to myself
Wouldst thou Emily a year ago have allowed in thyself but the same lengths that thou hast now run
—No answered I my own question
Is not this a fair warning of what may be a year hence
—So I put a case to Dr Bartlett as of three persons of my Annes acquaintance two young women one young man living in one house The young man contracted to one of the young women the other knowing it and tho a person incapable of a criminal thought yet finding an increasing regard for the young man tho she dearly loved her friend began to be afraid her heart was not quite as it should be What I asked as for my Annes friend would he advise in the case
And what my dear was the Doctors advice
I was a silly creature to put it to him As I said he certainly must guess If you madam could without such a case put he certainly must We young girls think if we put our hands before our eyes nobody can see us In short the Doctor pronounced the increasing regard to be a beginning Love The consequence would be that the young woman would in time endeavour to supplant her friend tho at present she might probably shudder at the thought He bid me tell Anne to warn her acquaintance against the growing flame He said she might entangle her
own heart and without gaining her end render unhappy a couple who according to my representation from my Anne deserved to be happy And he advised by all means that she should leave the contracted couple to themselves and for her own honours her own hearts sake remove to as great distance from them as possible
Believe me madam I was shocked I was frighted at myself I threw the papers in the fire and have been ever since I read them more unhappy than usual My dear Lady Grandison then thought I I will if you give me encouragement open my heart to you You will hear of my folly my weakness one day or other—And now dear good madam forgive me Keep my secret and advise me what to do
What my dearest creature can I advise you I love you I ever will love you I will be as careful of your honour as of my own I will endeavour to cultivate your guardians affection to you
He never madam I hope guessed at the poor Emilys folly
He never mentioned you to me but with love and tenderness
Thank God—But say advise me madam my heart shall be in your hand guide it as you please
What my dear did you think of doing yourself
I must not think of living with you now madam
Why not You shall find me ever your true friend
But I am sure Dr Bartletts advice to Annes acquaintance is right I tell you madam that I must every day and every hour of the day that I see his tender behaviour to you that I behold him employed in acts of beneficence that I see every one adoring him admire him more I see that I am less my own mistress than I thought it was possible I could be And if such a girl as I have so little command of myself and his merit every hour spreading itself out before me with increasing lustre my weak eyes will
not be able to bear his glory—O madam I ought to fly I am resolved whatever it cost me to fly
How I admired how I pitied how I loved the dear creature I clasped both my arms about her and pressing her to my bosom—What can I say my Emily What can I say Tell me what would you wish me to say
You are wise madam You have a tender and generous heart O that I were half as good—Advise me something—I see the folly of my wishing to live with you and my guardian
And is it necessary my dear to a conquest of yourself that we should not live together
Absolutely so I am convinced of it
Suppose my dear you go to the London house and put yourself under Mrs Grandisons protection
What madam my guardians house still
I hope a few weeks absence by help of a discretion of which you have in the present conversation given shining proofs will answer all we wish since you never my dear could have thought but of admiring and that at distance the great qualities of your guardian
I have tis true but just found myself out I never could have hope of being looked upon in any other light than as his daughter and I hope I have made the discovery in time But I must not be with him in his own house I must not be in the way of his constant conversation
Admirable discretion Amiable innocence—Well then suppose you request Lady L Lady G—
Ah no no That would not do neither My guardianwould be the continual subject of our conversation and often very often his brotherly goodness would lead him to them them to him
Charming fortitude Heroic Emily How I admire you I see you have thought attentively of this matter What are your thoughts
Cant you guess
I know what I wish—But you must speak first
Dont you remember what the blessed Mrs Shirley I must call her blessed said to me on your weddingday in the vestry
I do my dearest Emily And are you inclined—
Shall I be received madam as a second Harriet in your family It would be my ambition to tread in your steps at Selbyhouse and Shirleymanor to hear from you to write to you to form myself by the model by which you were formed to be called by Mrs Shirley by Mrs Selby their Emily
How you would rejoice them all my Emily and if we must part me to have my Emily be to my dearest friends what their Harriet so happily was
But madam will you undertake to procure my guardians consent
I will endeavour it
Endeavour it Then it is done He will deny you nothing Will good Mrs Shirley consent
I have no doubt but she will if your guardian do
Will Mrs Selby will Mr Selby be my uncle and aunt
We will consult them They are happily with us you know
But madam there is one objection a very great one
What is that my Love
Your cousin James Selby I should respect him as your cousin and as the brother of the two Miss Selbys But that is all
I never my dear approved of any motion of that kind Not one of my friends think of it They wish it not He has met with discouragement from every one of my family and his own He submits to the discouragement
Then madam if you please to break the matter to Mr and Mrs Selby and to Mrs Shirley without
letting them know the poor girl flies to them as for refuge against herself and satisfy Lady L Lady G and Mrs Eleanor Grandison that I mean nothing of slight to them then will I attend Mr and Mrs Selby in their return home And I shall be in a while a very happy girl I doubt not But still remember madam I must love my guardian But it shall be with a Love that shall not exclude Lady Grandison from a large share of it the largest if I can And now clasping her arms about my neck let me beg your pardon for all the strange things I have said My heart will be the easier for having found a confident such a confident however as no girl ever found before—But in this instance of goodness you more than equal Lady Clementina herself and a thousand thousand thanks for your patience with me on such a subject—Yet say say my dear Lady Grandison you dont hate the poor girl who has the vanity to emulate you and Lady Clementina
I wept over her from joy pity tenderness
Will you not my dear grandmamma love my Emily more than ever Will you call her your Emily and think of her as your Harriet
Lady L Lady G will you excuse the preference she has given to quiet Northamptonshire against noisy London and its gay scenes at so young a time of Life—Excuse it I am sure you will think that the reason she has given for the preference lifts her up above woman
Monday Feb 5
I HAVE already obtained my uncles and aunts and Lucys high approbation of Emilys proposal They at her request asked Sir Charless consent as a favour He desired to see her upon it She came in bashful her steps unassured looking down He took her hand My good Emily said he I am told that you have a desire to restore to Mrs Shirley Mrs Selby and Mr Selby the grand▪daughter and
niece I have robbed them of They rejoice in your proposal You will be exceedingly happy in their protection My Harriet will be loth to part with you but for their sakes as well as yours she will chearfully acquiesce And though we wanted it not we shall have an additional pleasure in visiting Northamptonshire—It is your deliberate choice my dear
It is Sir And I hope I may be allowed to accompany Mrs Selby down
Settle the matter Ladies among yourselves I have but one thing to add on the subject You have a Mother my dear We must not absolutely resolve till we have her consent She is good now You must make a compliment to my sisters and their Lords also and to my aunt Grandison▪ They love my ward And she must preserve every worthy persons Love
The dear girl courtesied wept—You are all—all goodness Sir
If your mind should change my dear dont be afraid to signify the alteration It will be the business of us all to make each other happy You will be always dear to my Harriet Recollect mean time if there be any-thing further in my power to oblige you
O Sir You must not she ran to me and in my bosom weeping spoke out her sentence be too good to me
I kissed the dear girls forehead—Heroic Emily whispered I to confirm her in her heroism
And thus already my dearest grandmamma is this material article settled My aunt answers for your approbation and Lucy for the pleasure that this acquisition as I may call it will give to Nancy to Miss Holless and all our other kindred and acquaintance But how when the time comes shall I part with her
What I wonder will Sir Edward Beauchamp say
to this—He must get his dear friends leave to visit with us Shirleymanor and Selbyhouse which I hope we shall do twice a year at least
My Uncle and Aunt Lucy and Mr Deane are exceedingly rejoiced on this occasion How fond are they of Emily She of them This gives them a relation to each other that I hope will produce a friendship which will last for ever
My Aunt and Lucy have been asking my opinion whether Sir Charles did not discover something of the good girls growing affection for him so undisguisedly sincere as she always was and for some time not suspecting herself he so penetrating a man Of this said Lucy I am sure he would have seen it with half an eye had any other man been as much the object of her regard
If any thing would induce me said I to think he did it would be his ready acquiescence with her proposal and from his being so little inquisitive after her motives for leaving us The case continued I is of so nice a nature that he never will say even to me what his thoughts are upon it if such thoughts he has And as to myself it would be dealing with Emily less delicately than I was dealt with by the two noble sisters should I presume to sound him on so nice a subject
And indeed there never could be a man in the world that had a greater regard than he has to those real delicacies of our Sex which border not upon what is called Prudery
Mr Lowther is gone to London He has given into Sir Charless wishes to settle in this neighbourhood He said he liked the country He had no particular attachment to any place and made a fine compliment to Sir Charles on the occasion I need not say it was a just one
My uncle my aunt write Lucy has another long Letter almost ready I have only further to
say therefore at this time that I am and ever will be
Your most dutiful HARRIET GRANDISON
Sir Charles intends to write to you madam on Emilys proposal—My uncle and aunt begin to be weary of us as Sir Charles and I tell them But they call us both unreasonable God give us good news from Italy
Grandisonhall Tues Feb 13
I Write to my dearest sisters now
Nor will I ask you to send my Letters to my grandmamma for the present
Lucy shall be lest to entertain my Northamptonshire friends
The inclosed translation of a Letter written by Signor Jeronymo will give you the surprising news—surprising indeed—Poor poor Lady
I must tell you in my next how we were all affected on the receiving it No more at present can I add but that I am my dear Ladies
Your ever affectionate Sister HARRIET GRANDISON
My Grandison
YOU will be surprised—astonished—The dear Clementina How has she tarnished all her glory A young creature of her nice honour—Good
God—And must I her brother your Jeronymo expose his sister
We gave into almost every wish of her heart The dear Scripturist had requested a months time to travel from place to place on the other side of the Apennines partly in imitation of the daughter of the famous Israelitish General a); and partly on pretence of establishing her health implying that she considered the meditated marriage as a sacrifice And we had hopes at the end of it that she would be brought to give her hand not unchearfully to the Count of Belvedere for whom she owned pity and gratitude
We had consented to several trifling delays of her return to us before Yet besought her to excuse us from allowing her to visit Rome and Naples and she acquiesced with the reasons we gave her She desired leave to take into her service as a page an English youth the nephew of a gentleman of the English factory at Leghorn who was well recommended by his uncle on the enquiry Mrs Beaumont at our desire made into his character We supposing her motive to be merely an innocent and grateful regard to the country of a man whom we could allow her to respect consented She accordingly took him and he attended her in her excursions to Pistoia Prato Pratolina Pisa Sienna c to some of which places she was accompanied by Mrs Beaumont and the Ladies her friends But being desirous to see the seacoast from Piombino to Lucca according to a plan she shewed and talking of stretching to Genoa when at Lucca which was to conclude her excursions and complete her month she was left by those Ladies to be attended by her own servants These all but her page and Laura she contrived the highsould Clementina stooped to art to send different ways ordering them to meet her at Lucca but instead of going thither took a short way to
Leghorn and there embarked on board an English ship ready cleared out and bound for the port of London and it had sailed three days before it was known what was become of her But then the contents of the following Letter directed to Mrs Beaumont astonished that Lady and her friends as you will believe it did us when it was transmitted to us in a Letter written by Mrs Beaumont acquainting us with the particulars of her excursions and flight and the certainty upon proper enquiries at Leghorn that she was gone to England
Forgive me my dearest Ladies my dearest Mrs Beaumont particularly forgive me I am embarked in an enterprize that will be enough my punishment Pity me therefore as well as pardon me The impending evil is always the most terrible My heart is extremely averse to a married life A fortnight of the month is expired at the end of which I am expected to give my vows to a man not unworthy of them could I think it in my power to make him happy and could I be so myself in the prospects before me But how can that be Persuasion cruel persuasion A kneeling father a fighing mother generous but entreating brothers how how can I resist you if I go to dear once most dear Bologna All you my friends at Bologna at Urbino everywhere forgive me What have I not suffered before I came to the resolution that must be pursued tho repentance when I have attained the proposed asylum follow My good Lord of B forgive me also Change your attachment You deserve a better wife than conscience than honour than justice words that mean the same thing tell me can be made you by the unhappy Clementina She dare not add Della Porretta—Ah my mother
—
This Letter was left with a person at Leghorn
with orders not to send it till the vessel had sailed three days We are all distracted but most my mother
For the sake of her peace of mind we are come to a resolution to anticipate our summers visit to you and unpropitious as the season is for such a journey we shall set out next week accordingly God give my mother strength to bear the fatigue Courage she has on this occasion who never before could be brought to go by sea anywhere No not to Naples to visit her Giacomo and his Lady tho in a more propitious season
It was a longlaid scheme we imagine for she had dismissed her faithful Camilla on her urging her to a change of condition I am afraid the good woman was too sedulous in obeying the orders given her by my brother to make use of every opportunity to inspire her with tender sentiments in favour of the Count of Belvedere Laura has for some time been her only favourite servant
This youth by name Antony Dagley no doubt has managed this affair for her
Mrs Beaumont now recollects several circumstances which could she have suspected Clementina to be capable of such an enterprize might have given her suspicion
The vessel she is in is called The Scanderoon Alexander Henderson master
How can the dear creature on her arrival in England look You your Lady your Sisters in the face What may she suffer in such a voyage at such a season To what insults may she be exposed So little as she knows of the English tongue Laura not a syllable of it Depending on the fidelity of a strangerboy So few changes of apparel as she had the opportunity to take with her—Whether provided with any considerable sums of money we know not England in her opinion a nation of
heretics—Good Heaven could Clementina della Porretta be guilty of such a rashness
But what an averseness must she have to marriage We have certainly been too precipitating You cautioned us Yet I dare say could not have believed that our Clementina could have taken such a step But alas we conclude that it is owing more to the effects of her late unhappy malady than to any other cause When once the mind is disordered there is danger it seems of its shewing itself on extraordinary occasions even after the cure is supposed to be perfected capable of extravagance Again I say we have been too hasty—Our brother Giacomo—But he is the most disinterested of men He would not otherwise be so urgent as he is for her marriage
Dear dear creature How my heart bleeds for the distresses she may be thrown into—But they cannot be equal to those which her mother feels for her Clementina knows how much the lives of her father and mother are bound up in hers But I repeat she must be under the influences of her former malady or never never could she have done an act that she must know would wound our very souls
From the lights I have held out we hope you will be able to find her before she can have suffered more than the inconveniencies of the voyage before she can have wanted money or other conveniencies If you do your sisters will give the rash one countenance and protection till we can arrive
Our company will be my Father Mother the Bishop your Jeronymo Father Marescotti and our two cousins Sebastiano and Juliano Mrs Beaumont has the goodness purely from motives of charity to accompany my mother Poor Camilla almost as inconsolable as my mother attends her Lady
We must give you the trouble of hiring for us as large a house as you can procure The circumstances
we are in allow us not to think of any-thing more than common convenience and to be incognito
Our two cousins abovenamed may be in lodgings if room be wanted
We shall have no more than necessary attendants
A lesser house or handsome lodgings will content the Count of Belvedere
These cares for us my dear Grandison we must throw upon you Yet if my Lowther be in England he will be so kind as to ease you of part of them You will have concern enough in sharing ours for the occasion which carries us to you so much sooner than we intended and in an inconvenient season circumstances that will sufficiently demonstrate the distress we are in
The vessel we have hired is called The Leghorn Frigate The masters name is Arthur Gunning If we are favoured in our voyage the master hopes to be in your river Thames in about three weeks from our embarking
God give us my Grandison a meeting not unhappy May we find the dear fugitive safe in your protection or under the wings of one of your noble sisters
I hope this unhappy affair will produce no uneasiness between your Lady and you If it should what an additional evil would the dear rash one have to answer for
The General is too much incensed against the unhappy girl to think of accompanying us could he obtain permission of his sovereign
The least reparation the dear creature can make us the Bishop says is chearfully to give her vows to the good Count of Belvedere who looks forward to the issue of this affair as the crisis of his fate
I hardly know what I have written nor how to leave off It is to you our dear friend our consoler our brother and let me add our refuge next to
that Almighty who we hope will guide us in safety to you and give an issue not greatly derogatory to the glory of our sister and family Join my Grandison your prayers with ours to this purpose Noblest of friends Adieu
JERONYMO della PORRETTA
Wedn Febr 14
LET me now give you the promised particulars
As we and our beloved guests were at dinner on Monday all harmony all love the dear Emily laying out the happy days she hoped to see in Northhamptonshire Sir Charles using generous arguments to prevail on my uncle and aunt to stay a little longer with him the Letter the affecting Letter was given into Sir Charless hands From my Jeronymo said he looking at the superscription Asking excuse he broke it open and casting his eye upon the first lines he started and bowing to his guests and to me he arose from table and withdrew to his Study
We had not half dined I urged our friends but could not set them the example and we arose by consent and went into the adjoining drawingroom
Sir Charles soon joined us there His face was in a glow He seemed to have struggled for a composure for our sakes which however he had not obtained
I looked upon him with eyes I suppose that had speech in them by his taking my hand and saying Be not surprised my Love You will soon have guests
From Italy From Italy Sir—Yes my life—Who Who Sir
Dr Bartlett was with us He besought him to
give a translation of that Letter The Doctor retired to do it And Sir Charles said It is not impossible but Clementina may be soon in England Perhaps before the rest of her family Be not surprised for we all looked upon one another): Dr Bartlett will give you the contents of the Letter Oblige me my dearest Love with your hand
He led me into his Study and there in the most tender and affectionate manner acquainted me with the contents of the Letter
My dearest Harriet said he his arms encircling my waist will not cannot doubt the continuance of my tenderest Love I am equally surprised and disturbed at the step taken God preserve the dear Clementina Join your prayers with mine for her safety You can pity the unhappy Lady She is I am afraid desolate and unprotected You can pity her equally unhappy friends They are following her They are all good They mean well Yet overpersuasion as you lately observed in such a case a hers is a degree of persecution In the unhappy circumstances she had been in she should have had time given her Time subdues all things
Let me beseech you Sir said I to give the unhappy Lady your instant protection Consider me as a strengthener not a weakener of your hands in her service I have no concern but for her safety and honour and for your concern on the affecting occasion Dear Sir let me by participation lessen it
Soul of my Soul said he clasping me more ardently to his bosom I had no doubt of your generous goodness It would be doing injustice to the unhappy absent and to the knowledge I have of my own heart as well as to you the absolute mistress of it did I think it necessary to make professions of my unalterable my inviolable Love to you I will acquaint you with every step I take in this arduous affair You must advise me as I go along Minds so
delicate as your and Clementinas must be allied I shall be sure of my measures when I have the approbation of my Harriet All our friends They have discretion shall be made acquainted with my proceedings I will not leave a doubt upon the mind of any one of them that my Harriet is not as far as it is in my power to make her the happiest of women
What Sir is the date of the Letter—He looked It has no date my dear Jeronymos grief—The Lady Sir said I may be arrived Leave me here at Grandisonhall with my friends I will endeavour to engage their stay a little longer than they had designed and do you hasten up to town If you can do service to the unhappy Lady destitute as you apprehend she is at present of protection and exposed to difficulties and dangers your Letters shall be if possible more acceptable to me than even the presence of the man who is as dear to me as my own soul
I was raised It was making me great my dear Ladies to have it in my power as I may say to convince Sir Charles Grandison that my compassion my love my a lmiration of the noblest of women was a sincere admiration and love
How happy a man am I said he You have anticipated me by your goodness I will hasten up to town You will engage your friends The man whose Love is fixed on the mind, all loveliness as is the admirable person that thus I again press to my fond bosom must be as happy as a mortal man can be
He led me back to the expecting company Who all stood up as by an involuntary motion at our entrance each person looking eager to know our sentiments The Doctor had not finished the translation But Sir Charles sent up for the Letter and▪ begged of the Doctor who brought it down himself to read it in English to us all He did so
What my dear Ladies was there of Peculiarity in
my generosity as your brother was pleased to call it—My uncle my aunt my Lucy Mr Deane all before Sir Charles could well speak besought him not to suffer their being here to be one moments hindrance to his setting out for London
He generously applauded me to them for what had passed between us in his Study and told them he would set out early in the morning if they would promise to keep me company here
They said they would stay as long as their convenience would permit and the longer that he might be the easier on such a generous call to town
One thing dear Sir said I let me beg Let not the sweet fugitive be compelled if you can help it to marry Let not advantage be taken as they seem by a hint in this Letter inclined to take it of this seeming rash step to make her compliance the condition of their forgiveness and reconciliation
He called me his generous his noble Harriet repeated that he would be governed by my advice and that then he should be sure of his footing
Your brother set out early this morning for London Join your prayers my dear Ladies with his and mine and with those of all our friends here for a happy issue to the present afflictions of the dear Clementina How I long yet halffear to see her Shall I do you think be able to see her without being apprehensive that she will look upon me as the invader of her right She was undoubtedly his first Love
Your brother communicated to me his intention of completing the furnishing of the newtaken house in Grosvenorsquare which was before in great forwardness and to have it well aired for the reception of his noble friends He will acquaint his sisters with his further intentions as occasions arise God succeed to him his own wishes—He may be trusted with them
Adieu my dearest Sisters How proud am I that I can indeed call you so by the name of
HARRIET GRANDISON
St Jamess Square Thursday Feb 15
My dearest Life
ON my arrival here last Night I found a long Letter dated Sunday last from the unhappy Lady whom we both so much admire and pity The contents too well confirm her wandering state of mind and account for the steps she has taken I will send you the Letter itself as soon as I have seen her and can prevail upon her to put herself into my protection Till the hope of a happier state of mind shall dawn upon us the contents of it will afflict you
She has been ten days in England I wrote to her last night to beg her to admit me to her presence
She expresses in her Letter a generous joy in our happiness and in the excellent character which she has heard of the beloved of my heart of every heart In the midst of her affecting wanderings she preserves the greatness of mind that ever distinguished her She wishes to see you but unknown to us both
It would not be difficult perhaps to find out the place of her abode but she depends on my honour that I will not attempt it Clementina loves to be punctiliously observed In the way she is in she must be soothed and as little opposed as possible She thinks too highly of my character and apprehends that the step she has taken has lowered her own She has great sensibility and only sometimes wanders into minutenesses that her circumstances which I find are not happy oblige her to attend to I have great hopes that I shall be able to sooth conciliate and restore her her mind seems not to he deeply wounded God enable me to quiet the heart of the noblest of your Sisters Forgive me for my two beloved Sisters They will if you do
I hope our dear friends will make themselves and you happy at Grandisonhall This cloud passed away if God preserve us to each other and our friends to us all our future days must be serene At least as far as it is in my power they shall be so to my Harriet Professions would disgrace my Love and your merits All that your own heart can wish me to be that if I know it will I be for am I not the happy husband of the best and most generous of women and as such
Wholly Yours CHARLES GRANDISON
Mentioned in the preceding
Tuesday Febr 13 O S
BY this time it is very probable you have heard of the rashest step that the writer of these presents chequerd and unhappy as the last years of her life have been over took She knows it to be rash She condemns herself for taking it She doubts not but she shall be condemned by everybody for it Nor is she sure that she shall have the better opinion of your justice if you are not one of the severest of her censurers For you are a good man Your goodness I hear fills every mouth in this your own country and it is not one of your least praises that you did your duty in the strictest manner to a Father who was wanting in his to his whole family It is it seems your principle that where a duty is reciprocal the failure in it of the one acquits not the other for a failure in his How then can I appear before you I am coverd with blushes at the thoughts of it—I who am a runaway from the kindest the most indulgent of parents—God forgive me—Yet can I say I repent
—I think I can—But at best it is a conditional repentance only that I boast
I am here in your England I cannot cannot tell you where in a low condition my fortune scanty my lodgings not very convenient two servants only my attendants Laura you remember her one weeping every hour after her friends and our Italy My other you know not—My page he was called in the days of my state as I may comparatively call them but now my every thing Poor youth But he is honest he is faithful God reward him—I cannot
Yet in all this my depression of circumstances if I may so express myself and sometimes too often indeed of spirits I think I am happy in the thought that I am a single woman
Well Sir—And what can I say further A thousand things I have to say Too many to know which to say first I had better say no more I am not however sure I shall send you this or any other Letter
I have been ten days in this great and as it seems to me ugly city A vastly populous one People very busy I thought your London people were all rich—But what is this to write to you about
I have been out but once and that for a morning in one of your parks I cant say I like England nor its people much But I have seen nothing of the one or the other
I live a very melancholy life But that befits me best
They tell me that your churches are poor plain things You bestow more upon yourselves than you do upon your God But perhaps you trust more to the heart than to the eye in the plainness of your places of devotion But again what is all this stuff to you—Yet I am apt to ramble tootoo much
The truth is I am not very well So excuse me
But do you know how it comes about that having
the best of fathers the best of mothers the most affectionate of brothers I should yet think them persecutors How it comes about that I who love them who honour them as much as daughter ever honoured parents or sister ever loved brothers should run away from them all into a strange land a land of heretics yet once be thought a pious kind of creature Do you know how this comes about
Once there was a man—But him I renounced—But I had a good reason for it And do you think I repent it By my truth Chevalier I do not I never did Yet I think of nobody half so often nor with half the pleasure For tho a Heretic he is a good man
But hush Dare I in this country say he is a Heretic Perhaps we Catholics are looked upon as Heretics here Idolaters I know we are said to be—I grant that I had like to have been an idolater once—But let that pass I believe we Catholics think worse of you Protestants and you Protestants think worse of us Catholics than either deserve It may be so But to me you seem to be a strange people for all that
Of one thing my good Chevalier methinks I should be glad—Here I am told you are married That I knew before I left Italy Else let me tell you I never would have come hither Yet I should have got away rather than be married myself I believe But then perhaps it would have been to a Catholic country
What was I going to say—One thing I should be glad of It is to see your Lady but not if she were to see me I came with very few cloaths and they were not the best I had at Florence My best of all are at Bologna My father and mother loved to see me dressed I dressed many a time to please them more than to please myself For I am not a proud creature Do you think I am You knew me once
better than I knew myself But you know little of me now I am a runaway And I know you wont forgive me I cant help it However I should be glad to see your Lady She dresses richly I suppose Well she may
I am told she is one of the loveliest women in England And as to her goodness—there is nobody so good Thank God You know Chevalier I always prayed that the best of women might be called by your name
But Olivia it seems praises her and Olivia saw her when she was a rambler to England as God help me I am now
But Olivias motive and mine were very different Olivia went to England in hopes of a husband—Poor woman I pity her
But Chevalier cannot I see your Lady and she not see me I need not be in disguise to see her If you were with her handing her suppose to church I would not scruple to croud myself into some unobserved corner of your church on such an occasion you would be too proud of her to mind me And you would not know me if you saw me for I would stoop in my shoulders and look down and the cloaths I should have on would be only an English linen gown and petticoat unadorned by ribbands or gewgaw—Not half so well dressed as your Ladys woman▪
But yet I should thank God that you had not disgraced the regard I had once for you I had a great deal of pride you know in that hope Thank you Sir that you have married so lovely and so deserving a woman She is of a good family I hope
It wa a great disappointment to me when I came first to London to find that you were not there I thought some how or other to catch a sight of you and your Lady were it but as you stept into your coach and I to have been in a chair near or even on foot For when I heard what a character you bore
for every kind of goodness I a poor fagitive was afraid to see you So many good lessons as you taught me and all to come to this Unhappy Clementina
Where will your Ladyship but I have forbidden that stile choose to take up your residence said Anthony when we first landed My servants name is Anthony but you shall not know his other name We landed among a parcel of guns at the Tower they called it in a boat
Laura answered for me for he spoke in Italian Somewhere near the Chevalier Grandisons wont you madam I wont tell you what was my answer for perhaps I am near the Thames—I dont want you to find me out I beseech you Chevalier dont give yourself pain for me I am a fugitive Dont disgrace yourself in acknowleging any acquaintance with a creature who is poor and low and who deserves to be poor and low for is she not a runaway from the best of parents But it is to avoid not to get a husband youll be pleased to remember that Sir
But poor Laura—I am sorry for Laura more sorry than for myself—My brother Giacomo would kill the poor creature I believe if ever she were to come in his way But she is in no fault It was with great reluctance she obeyed her mistress She was several times as impertinent as Camilla Poor Camilla I used ever hardly She is a good creature I used her hardly against my own nature to make her the easier to part with me I love her I hope she is well It is not worth her while to pine after me I was an ungrateful creature to her
My Anthony is a good young man as I told you I think to save half his wages and give the other half to raise Lauras to keep her a little in heart The poor young man hoped preferment in my service and I can do nothing for him It will behove me to be a good manager But I will sell the few jewels I have left rather than part with him till he can get a better
service What little things do I trouble you with Little things to you but not quite so little to me now as I have managed it But so as I can do justice to this poor youth and poor Laura I matter not myself What I have done is my choice They had no option I overpersuaded Laura as my friends would have done me I feel that sting It was not doing as I would be done by Very very wicked in me I dare say you would tell me so were you to find me out
But Chevalier shall I send you yes or no this scrawl written to divert me in a pensive mood I would not if I thought it would trouble you God forbid that your pupil Clementina should give you discomposure now especially in the early part of your nuptials Yet if I could so manage as that you would permit your secretary I would not ask the favour of your own pen to send a few lines to some particular place where my servant could fetch them unknown to you or any body only to let me know If you have heard from Bologna or Naples or Florence I was very ungrateful to good Mrs Beaumont and the Ladies her friends and how they all do my father mother my heart at times bleeds for them my dear Jeronymo my two other brothers and good Father Marescotti and my sisterinlaw whom I have so much reason to love it will be a great ease to my heart provided the account be not a very melancholy one▪ If it should poor Clementinas days would be numberd upon twice five fingers
I am put in a way—This shall be sent to your palace in town You will order your secretary to direct his Letter to George Trumbull Esq to be left till called for at Whites Chocolatehouse in St Jamessstreet I depend upon your honour Chevalier that you will acquiesce with my desire to remain incognita till I shall consent to reveal to you the place of my abode or to see you elsewhere I sign only
CLEMENTINA
Saturday Feb 17
ALL day yesterday I was in pain that I heard not from Clementina But I made myself as easy as I could in visiting my sisters and their Lords and my aunt Grandison What blessings do they all pour forth on my Harriet What compassion do they express for the dear fugitive How do they long to see her
Yesterday I received a Letter from her
The copy of that to which hers is an answer of hers and of my reply and her return to that I inclose You will read them to our friends in English
You will find by the last of the four that I am to be admitted to her presence I would not miss a post or I should have delayed till the interview be over the sending this to my Harriet Hope the best my dearest Love The purity of your heart and of Clementinas and the integrity of my own if I know my heart bid us humbly hope for a happy dissipation of the present cloud which hanging over the heads of a family I revere engages our compassion and mingles a sigh with our joys
Adieu my best my dearest Love Answer for me to all my friends
CHARLES GRANDISON
Under Cover To GEORGE TRUMBULL Esq c
St Jamess Square Wedn night Febr 14
TEN days the noble Clementina in England the native place of her fourth brother her equally
admiring and faithful friend yet not honour him with the knowledge of her arival—Forgive me if I call you cruel—It is in your power madam to make one of the happiest men in the world a very unhappy one and you will effectually do it if you keep from him the opportunity of throwing himself at your feet and welcoming you to a country always dear to him but which will be made still dearer by your arrival in it
I have a Letter from your and my Jeronymo I have a great deal to say to you of its contents of your father mother brothers—But it must be said not written For Gods sake madam permit me to attend you in company of one of my sisters or otherwise as you shall think best You have in me a faithful an indulgent friend I am no severe man Need I tell you that I am not If you do not choose that anybody else shall know the place of your abode I will faithfully keep your secret You shall be as much the mistress of your own will of your own actions as if I knew not where to address myself to you If ever you had a kind thought of your fourth brother if you ever wished him happy grant him the favour of attending you for his happiness I repeat depends upon it
I received our Jeronymos Letter but yesterday Tender and affectionate are the contents
I have ridden post to get hither this night in hopes of being favoured with intelligence of you In the morning I should have made enquiries at the proper places But little did I think my Sister could have been so many days in town Let not an hour pass after this comes to your hand before you relieve the anxious heart of
Dearest Lady Clementina
Your most affectionate Brother and faithful humble Servant CHARLES GRANDISON
Friday morning Feb 16 O S
I Received yours but this moment What can I say to the contents I wish to see you but dare not Your happiness you say depends upon an interview with me Why do you tell me it does I wish you happy Yet if you wished me so you would have told me how my dear friends in Italy do This omission was designed It was not generous in the Chevalier Grandison It was made to extort from me a favour which you thought I should otherwise be unwilling to grant
But can you forgive the rash Clementina God is merciful as well as just You imitate him But how can Clementina humbled as she is be sunk so low as to appear a delinquent before the man she respects for a character which great as she thought it before has risen upon her since her arrival in England
But Sir can you will you engage that my friends will allow me to continue single Can you answer in particular for the discontinuance of the Count of Belvederes addresses Can you procure forgiveness not only for me but my poor Laura Will you take into your service or recommend him effectually to that of some one of your friends in some manner that is not altogether servile the honest youth who has behaved unexceptionably in mine For he wishes not to return to Italy
Answer me these few easy and plain questions and you shall hear further from
CLEMENTINA
Under Cover directed as before
Friday morn Febr 16
TO the questions of dear Lady Clementina I answer thus—I will endeavour to prevail upon your parents and other friends to leave you absolutely free to chuse your own state without using either compulsion or overearnest persuasion
Who madam can forbid the Count of Belvedere to hope Leave him hope if he has not the overearnest entreaties of your own relations to give weight to his addresses it will be in your power to give him either encouragement or despair
I will engage for the joyful reconciliation to her of all the dear Clementinas friends I am sure I can
Laura shall be forgiven and provided for by an annuity equal to her wages if the continuance of her service be not accepted
I will myself entertain your young man and place and reward him according to his merits
And now madam admit to the honour of your presence
Your Brother your Friend your evergrateful and affectionate humble Servant CHARLES GRANDISON
Sat morn Febr 17
I Depend upon your honour Sir for the performance of the prescribed conditions Yet on meditating my appearance before you I am more and more ashamed to see you It was a great disappointment
to me at my first arrival that you were at your countryseat At that time my heart was full I had much to say and I could have seen you then with more fortitude than now falls to my share However I will see you Tomorrow Sir about five in the evening you will find at one of the doors on the higher ground on the left hand going up St Jamess street from the Palace as it is called the expecting Laura who will conduct you to
CLEMENTINA
Monday Febr 19
YOU requested me my dearest Harriet to write minutely to you Now I have been admitted to the presence of Clementina and have hopes that she will soon recover her peace of mind I can the more chearfully obey you
I was exactly at the hour at the appointed place Laura guessed at my chair and my servants as they crossed the way and stood out on the pavement that I might see her When she found she had caught my eye she ran into the house wringing her clasped hands—God be praised God be praised were her words as I followed her in in her own language Laura can speak no other Shew me shew me to your Lady good Laura said I with emotion
She ran up one pair of stairs before me She entered the diningroom as it is called I stopt at the stairs head till I had Clementinas commands Laura soon came out She held open the door for me courtefying in silence
The drawn windowcurtains darkened the room But the dignity of Clementinas air and motion left me not in doubt She stood up supporting herself on the back of an elbow chair
On one knee taking her trembling hand Welcome thrice welcome to England dearest Lady Clementina I pressed her hand with my lips and rising seated her For she trembled she sobbed she endeavoured to speak but could not for some moments
I called to Laura fearing she was fainting
O that wellknown voice said she And do you can you bid me welcome—Me a fugitive an ingrate undutiful—O Chevalier lower not your unfullied character by approving so unnatural a step as that which I have taken
I do bid you welcome madam Your brother your friend from his soul welcomes you to England
Let me know Chevalier before another word passes Whether I have a Father whether I have a Mother
Blessed be God madam you have both
She lifted up her clasped hand Thank God God I thank thee Distraction would have been my portion if I had not I was afraid to ask after them I should have thought myself the most detestable of parricides if either of them had been no more
They are in the utmost distress for your safety They will think themselves happy when they know you are well and in the protection of your brother Grandison
Will they Sir O what a paradox They so indulgent yet so cruel—I so dutiful yet a fugitive But tell me Sir determined as I was against entering into a state I too much honour to enter into it with a reluctant heart could I take any other step than that I have taken to free myself from the cruelty of persuasion O that I might have been permitted to take the veil—But answer my question Chevalier
Surely madam they would not have compelled you They always declared to me they would not
Not compelled me Sir Did not my father kneel to me My mothers eyes spoke more than her lips
could have uttered The Bishop had influenced good Father Marescotti against the interests of Religion I had almost said to oppose the wish of my heart Jeronymo your Jeronymo gave into their measures What refuge had I—Our Glacomo was inexorable I was to be met on my return from Florence to Bologna by the Count of Belvedere and all those of his house the General was to be in his company I had secret intelligence of all this And I was to be received as an actual bride at Bologna or made to promise I would be so within a few days after my arrival My Sisterinlaw my only advocate among my Italian friends pitied me it is true But for that reason she was not to be allowed to come to Bologna I was at other times denied to go to Urbino to Rome to Naples—Could I do otherwise than I have done if I would avoid prosaning a Sacrament
My dearest sister Clementina sometimes accuses herself of rashness for taking a step so extraordinary At this moment does she not receive her brother in darkness Whence this sweet consciousness But what is done is done Your Conscience is a Law to you who shall condemn—Let us look forward madam I approve not of the vehemence of your friends persuasions Yet what parents ever meant a child more indulgence what brothers a sister more disinterested affection
I own sir that my heart at times misgives me But answer me this Are you of opinion that I ought at the instance of my parents and brothers however affectionate however indulgent in all other instances to marry against inclination against justice against conscience
Against any one of these you ought not
Well Sir then I will endeavour to make myself easy as to this article But will you undertake Sir A woman wants a protector to maintain this argument for me
I will madam and shall hope for the more success if you will promise to lay aside all thoughts of the veil
Ah Chevalier
Will my dearest Sister answer me one question Is it not your hope that by resisting their wishes you may tire out opposition and at last bring your friends to consent to a measure to which they have always been extremely averse
Ah Chevalier—But if I could get them to consent—
Dear madam is not their reasoning the same—If they could get you to consent
Ah Chevalier
May not this be a contention for months for years And—
I know Sir your inference You think that in a contention between parents and child the child should yield Is not that your inference
Not against reason against justice against conscience But there may be cases, in which neither ought to be their own judge
Well Sir you that have yielded to a plea of conscience God has blessed you and may God continue to bless you for it
Admirable Clementina
—Are fit to be a judge between us—You shall be mine if ever the debate be brought on
No consideration in that case shall bias me—But may I not hope that the dear Lady I stand before will permit me to behold a person whose mind I ever revered
Laura said she let the tea be got ready I have been taught to drink tea Sir since my arrival The gentlewoman of the house is very obliging Permit me Sir to withdraw for a few moments
She sighed as she went out leaning upon Laura
Laura returned soon after with lights She set them
on the table and giving way to a violent emotion O my lord Grandison said the poor girl falling down and embracing my knees For the blessed Virgins sake prevail on my Lady to return to dear dear Bologna
Have patience Laura All will be well
I the unhappy Laura shall be the sacrifice The General will kill me—O that I had never accompanied my Lady in this expedition
Have patience Laura If you have behaved well to your Lady I will take you into my protection Had you a good voyage Was the master of the vessel were his officers obliging
They were Sir or neither my Lady or I should have been now living O Sir we were in a dying way all the voyage except the three last days of it The master was the civillest of men
I asked after her fellowservant naming him from Jeronymos Letters Gone out was the answer to buy some necessaries O Sir we live a sad life Strangers to the language to the customs of the country all our dependence is upon this young man
I asked her after the behaviour and character of the people of the house a widow and her three daughters that if I heard but an indifferent account of them I might enforce by it my intended plea to get her to Lady Ls Laura spoke well of them The Captain of the vessel who brought them over is related to them and recommended them when he knew what part of the town her Lady chose
What risques did the poor Lady run Such different people as she had to deal with in the contrivance and prosecution of her wild scheme yet all to prove honest how happy Poor Lady how ready was she to fly from what she apprehended to be the nearest evil But she could not be in a capacity to weigh the dangers to which she exposed herself
Often and often said Laura have I on my knees
besought my Lady to write to you But she was not always well enough to resolve what to do and when she was sedate she would plead that she was afraid to see you You would be very angry with her You would condemn her as a rash creature And she could not bear your displeasure She was conscious that the act she had done bore a rash and even a romantic appearance Had you been in town Antony should have made enquiries at distance and she might have yielded to see you But for several days her thoughts were not enough composed to write to you At last being impatient to hear of the health of her father and mother she did write
Why stays she so long from me Laura Attend your Lady and tell her that I beg the honour of her presence
Laura went to her Her Lady presented herself with an air of bashful dignity I met her at her entrance—My Sister my Friend my dearest Lady Clementina kissing her hand welcome welcome I repeat to England Behold your fourth Brother your Protector Honour me with your confidence Acknowlege my protection Your honour your happiness is dear to me as my life
I led her trembling sighing but at the moment speechless to a seat and sat down by her holding both her hands in mine She struggled for speech Compose yourself madam Assure yourself of my tenderest regard of my truest brotherly affection
Generous Grandison Can you forgive me Can you from your heart bid me welcome I will endeavour to compose myself You told me I was conscious Conscious indeed I am The step I have taken has a disgraceful appearance But yet will I not condemn nor consent that you should my motive
I condemn not your motive madam All will all must be happy Rely on my brotherly advice and protection My Sisters and their lords every one I
love admires you You are come to families of Lovers who will think themselves honoured by your confidence
You pour balm into the wounds of my mind What is woman when difficulties surround her When it was too late and the ship that I embarked in was under sail then began my terror That took away from me all power of countermanding the orders I had given till the winds that favoured my voyage opposed my return Then was I afraid to trust myself with my own reflexions lest if I gave way to them my former malady should find me out But let me not make you unhappy Yet permit me to observe that when you mentioned the kind reception I might expect to meet with among your friends you forbore to mention the principal person—What will SHE think of the poor Clementina But be assured and assure her That I would not have set my foot on the English shore had you not been married O Chevalier if I make you and her unhappy no creature on earth can hate me so much as I shall hate myself
Generous noble Clementina—Your happiness is indeed essential to that of us both My Harriet is another Clementina You are another Harriet Sisterexcellencies I have called you to her to all her relations In the Letter you favoured me with you wished to know her You must know her and I am sure you will love her Your wishes that she would accept of my vows were motives with her to make me happy She knows our whole history She is prepared to receive you as the dearest of her sisters
Generous Lady Grandison I have heard her character I congratulate you Sir You have reason to think that I should have been grieved had you not met with a woman who deserved you To know you are happy in a wife and think yourself so that no blame lies upon me for declining your addresses
will contribute more than I can express to my peace of mind When I have more courage and my heart is eased of some part of its anguish you shall present me to her Tell her mean time that I will love her and that I shall hold myself everlastingly bound to her in gratitude for making happy the man whom once but for a superior motive I had the vanity to think I could have made so
She turned away her glowing face tears on her cheek My admiration of her greatness of mind so similar to that of my own Harriet would not allow me to pour out my heart in words I arose and takeing both her hands bowed upon them Tears more plentifully flowed from her averted eyes and we were both for one moment speechless
It would be injurious to a mind equally great and noble as that which informs the person of this your Sisterexcellence to offer to apologize for faithfully relating to you those tender emotions of hearts one of them not less pure than my Harriets the other all your own
I broke silence and urged her to accept of apartments at Lady Ls Let me acquaint the gentlewoman of the house I beseech you madam that tomorrow morning the sister I have named and I will attend you to her house We will thank her for you as you have almost forgotten your English for the civilities which she and her daughters have shewn you And I will make it my business to find out the honest Captain who Laura tells me has been very civil to you also and thank him too in the names of all our common friends for his care of you
I will think myself honoured now you have encouraged me to look up by a visit from either or both your sisters But let me advise with you Sir is the kind offer you make me a proper offer for me to accept of I shall be ready to take your advice—Little regard as I may seem by the step I have taken
to have had for my own honour I would avoid if possible suffering a first error to draw me into a second Do you Sir as my brother and friend take care of that honour in every step you shall advise me to take
Your honour madam shall be my first care I sincerely think this is the rightest measure you can now pursue
Now pursue—sighing
This argument admitted of a short debate She was scrupulous from motives too narrow for a Clementina to mention I made her blush for mentioning them and in short had the happiness to convince her that the protection of the sister of her fourth brother was the most proper she could choose
I went down and talked to the gentlewomen below They were pleased with what I said to them They prayed for the Lady and her family and for a happy reconciliation between them for Antony had given them briefly her story
I requested them to make my compliments to her relation Captain Henderson and desire him to give me an opportunity to thank him in person for his civility to a Lady beloved by all who have the honour of knowing her
I went up again to the Lady and sat with her most of the evening Laura only attending us
I talked to Clementina of Mrs Beaumont and the Ladies at Florence and intimated that her mother had prevailed on that Lady to come to England in hopes as she is an English woman that her company would be highly acceptable to her She blessed her mother What an instance of forgiving goodness was this she said with tears of gratitude and blessed Mrs Beaumont for her goodness to her and the Ladies at Florence for parting with one so dear to them
I was happy throughout this latter conversation in
her serenity not one instance of wandering did I observe
I chose not however so early to acquaint her with the intention of the dearest and nearest of her friends to come over with Mrs Beaumont tho I expressed my earnest hope that if we could make England agreeable to her I should have the honour of the promised visit from some of the principals of her family before she left it
This my dearest Life is a minute account of our interview One of the greatest Pleasures I can know is to obey the gentle the generous commands of my Harriet
This morning I attended Lady L to breakfast with the excellent Lady as proposed My Sister and her Lord are charmed with their guest Their guest she is And Lady Clementina is as much pleased with them She is every hour more and more sensible of the danger she has run and censures herself very freely for the rash step as she calls it herself
She longs yet is ashamed to see you my dearest life and listens with delight to the praises my Lord and Lady L so justly give to my Harriet
Monday afternoon
I HAVE introduced Lord and Lady G to Lady Clementina at her own request being assured she said that the place of her refuge would be kept secret by all my friends Both sister occasionally joining in praising my angel How happy said she are those marriages which give as much joy to the relations on both sides as to the parties themselves
Adieu my dearest Love With the tenderest affection I am and ever will be
Your most faithful and obliged CH GRANDISON
Thursday Feb 22
WE are as happy here as we can expect to be Lady Clementina in her state of suspense and apprehension I without my Harriet
You hinted to me once my Love something of our Beauchamps regard for Emily He just now after more hesitations than I expected from my friend opened his heart to me and asked me to countenance his addresses to her I chid him for his hesitation—and then said Is my Beauchamp in this proposition so right as he generally is—Emily tho tall and womanly is very young I am not a friend to very early marriages You know as well as any man my dear friend the reasons that may be urged against such Methinks I would give Emily an opportunity as well for her husbands sake whoever shall be the man as for her own to look round her and make her own choice The merit of Sir Edward Beauchamp his personal accomplishments and character to say nothing of his now ample fortune must make his addresses to any woman acceptable You would not I presume think of marrying her if you might till she is eighteen or twenty And would my Beauchamp fetter himself by engagements to a girl and leave her who at present can hardly give him the preference he deserves no chance of choosing for herself when at womans estate
He waved the discourse and left me without resuming it I am grieved on recollection for I am afraid he is not satisfied with me for what I said
My dearest Life you must advise me I will not take any important step whether relative to myself or friends but by your advice and if you please Dr Barletts Whenever heretofore I have had time to
take that good mans I have been sure of the ground I stood upon His has been of infinite service to me as you have heard me often acknowlege Yours and his will establish my judgment in every case But in this of Emilys yours my dear for obvious reasons I must prefer even to his In the mean time I will seek Beauchamp He shall not be angry with his Grandison—But good young man Can it be that he is really in love with such a girl as to years
This I dare say Beauchamps principal regard cannot be to her fortune His estate is unincumbered I should think myself as well as Emily happy and that I had performed all my duty by her were I to marry her to such a man But methinks I want him to be sooner married than I should wish my Emily to be a wife I think you told me that Emily at present has not thoughts of him—But you my dear must advise me
Thursday afternoon
SIR Edward has just left me He asked my excuse for having mentioned the above subject to me It is at present in your power Sir Charles said he to silence me upon it for ever It might not have been so some time hence I thought therefore on examining the state of my heart it was but honourable to open it to you Forbid me this moment to think of her and I will endeavour to obey her guardian
My dear friend You know Emilys Age—Would you willingly—I stopt that he might speak
Stay for her I would Sir Charles till you and she—He passed—Then resuming My Love for her is not an interested Love I would if I might have your permission to make my addresses to her and that should be 〈◊〉 honest assiduities before declaration be wholly 〈◊〉 by your advice for the good of both I would make your conduct to Lady Clementina
when you last went over my pattern I would be bound she should be free I never would be so mean as to endeavour to engage her by promises to me My pride will set her free whenever I perceive she balances in favour of another man
But what my excellent friend shall we do Can you condescend to court two women Emily so young for her distant consent
What means Sir Charles Grandison
I will read to you without reserve what I had just written to my Harriet on this topic reciting to her what passed in the conversation between you and me a little while ago
I read to him accordingly what I wrote to you my dearest Love He heard me with great attention not interrupting me once nor did I interrupt myself no not by apologies for the freedom of my thoughts on the subject And when I had done he wrung my hand and thanked me for my unreservedness in terms worthy of our mutual friendship
You see my dear Sir Edward said I how I am circumstanced What I have promised to my wife is a Law to me prudence and afterevents not controuling She loves Emily She has a high regard for you Women know women Go hand in hand with her I will save you the trouble of referring to me in the progress of your application to my wife and Emily My Harriet will acquaint me with what is necessary for me as Emilys guardian to know I build on your hint of assiduities in preference to an early declaration You my Beauchamp need not be afraid of giving time to a young creature to look round her Let me add that Emily shall give signs of preferring you to all men as I expect from you demonstrations of your preferring her to all women or I shall make a difficulty for both your sakes of giving a guardians consent And remember also that Emily has a mother who tho she has not greatly merited
consideration is her mother We must do our duty you know my Beauchamp in the common relations of life whether others do theirs or not But the address of a man of your credit and consequence cannot give you any difficulty there when that of Miss Jervoiss tender years is got over
He was pleased with what I said I asked him if he approved of her motion to go down with Mrs Selby and Lucy Highly he said and as it came from herself he thought it an instance of prudence in her that few young creatures would have been able to shew
Instance of prudence my Love How so When wise as our Northamptonshire relations are Emily would have wanted to benefit that her choice can give her were she to remain with us in the instructions and example of my Harriet—But my dear Life does Emily hold her mind to attend Mrs Selby and Lucy into Northamptonshire Let it be with her whole heart
My cousin Grandison believes himself to be very happy His wife he says thinks herself the happiest of women I am glad of it She has a greater opinion of his understanding than she has of her own This seems to be necessary to the happiness of common minds in wedlock He is gay fluttering debonnaire and she thinks those qualities appendages of family He has presented her with a genealogical table of his ancestors drawn up and blazoned by heraldry art It is framed glazed and hung up in her drawingroom She shews it to every one Perhaps she thinks it necessary to apologize by that means to all her visiters for bestowing her person and fortune on a ruined man But what in a nation the glory and strength of which are trade and commerce is gentility What even nobility where descendants depart from the virtue of the first enobling ancestor
Lord and Lady G have invited Lady Clementina to dinner tomorrow She has had the goodness to
accept of the Invitation Lord and Lady L and my aunt Grandison will attend her
What my dear makes Charlotte so impatient so petulant I had almost said under a circumstance which if attended with a happy issue will lay all us her friends under obligation to her I asked once my Harriet if Lord G were as happy in a wife as Charlotte is in a husband You returned me not a direct answer I was afraid of repeating my question because I knew you would have chearfully answered it could you have done it to my wishes I see in my Lords behaviour to her respect and affection even to fondness but not the polite familiarity that becomes a wedded Love Let her present circumstance be happily over and she will find her brothers eye a more observant one than hitherto she has found it But be not my dear oversolicitous for the friend you so greatly value True brotherly Love shall ever hold the principal seat in my heart when I sit in judgment upon a sisters conduct
My fond heart throbs in expectation of soon presenting a Sister to each of the two noblest women on earth Allow for the perplexity of Clementinas mind and for the impolitic urgency of her friends and you will not when you see her scruple to hold out to a Sisterexcellence not happily situated the hand that blessed
Your everfaithful CH GRANDISON
Sat Feb 24
THE arrival of the Leghornfrigate is every day expected The merchants have intelligence that it put in at Antibes If the journey by land from
thence to Paris and so to Calais could be made favourable to my dear friend Jeronymo I have no doubt but our expected guests landed there at this season of the year so unpropitious to tender passengers
The house in Grosvenorsquare is now thanks to good Lord G quite ready for their reception There will be room I believe as they propose to be here incognito and with only necessary attendants for the Marquis and his Lady for Mrs Beaumont who will be both their comforter and interpreter for the two Brothers and Father Marescotti Saunders has already procured handsome lodgings for the Count of Belvedere I wish with you my Love that the Count were not to accompany them The poor Lady must not know it if it can be avoided The two young Lords whom I invited when I was in Italy must be more immediately our own guests if my dearest Life has no objection
Assure yourself my generous Harriet that the Lady shall not be either compelled or too urgently persuaded if I have weight with the family when they arrive They shall not know where she is nor see her but by her own consent and as I see their disposition to receive her as I wish Excellent creature what a noble solicitude is yours for her tranquillity of mind
I have not yet been able to break to her the daily expectation I have of seeing in England her parents and brothers Yet am uneasy that she knows it not I want courage my Harriet to acquaint her with it I have more than once essayed to do it Dear creature she looks with so much innocence and so much reliance upon me and is at times so apprehensive—I know not how to break it to her
She depends upon my mediation She urges me to begin a treaty of reconciliation with them I defer writing I tell her till I have seen Mrs Beaumont
Little does she think they are upon their journey and that I know not where to direct to them She longs for Mrs Beaumonts arrival and hopes she says she will bring with her the poor Camilla that she may have an opportunity to obtain her excuse for the harsh treatment she gave her And yet Camilla said she was a teazing woman
Were you ever sensible my Harriet of the tender pain that an open heart yours is an open and an enlarged one feels longing yet for its friends sake afraid to reveal unwelcome tidings which however it imports the concerned to know How loth to disturb the tranquillity which is built upon ignorance of the event Yet that every tranquillity contemplated upon adding to the pain of the compassionating friend who reflects that when the unhappy news shall be revealed Time and Christian philosophy only will ever restore it to the heart of the sufferer
Lord and Lady L are endeavouring to divert their too thoughtful guest by carrying her to see what they think will either entertain or amuse her Tomorrow Lady L contributing to the dear Ladys proper appearance there they purpose to attend her to the drawingroom But hitherto she seems not to have a very high opinion of the country If her heart could be easy every thing would have a different appearance to her
I HAVE this moment the favour of yours of yesterday If our kind friends will stay no longer with you at the Hall do you my dearest Love as you propose accompany them up They are extremely obliging in proposing to give me here two or three days of their company before they return to Northhamptonshire
My consent my Harriet—Why if you have a choice of your own do you ask it I must approve of whatever you wish to do Could I have been certain
I would have met my Love But you will have many dear friends with you
Tell my Emily that I have had a visit from her Mother and Mr OHara and was so much pleased with them that I propose on Monday to return their visit at their own lodgings
Now I know I am to be soon blessed with the presence of my Harriet I have given way to all my wishes One of them is Never to be separated from the joy of my heart Such I trust will she ever be to
Her grateful everfaithful GRANDISON
London Friday March 2
AGAIN my everhonoured grandmamma does your Harriet resume the pen Lucy and my aunt between them have given you an account of everything that passed since my last
We arrived last night With what tenderness did the best of men and of husbands receive his Harriet and her friends
This afternoon at tea I am to be presented to Lady Clementina at Lord Ls Dont you believe my heart throbs with expectation Indeed it does Sir Charles says her emotions are as great on the occasion
What honour does my dear Sir Charles do to his Harriet He consults her as if he doubted his own judgment and wanted to have it confirmed by hers What happiness is hers who marries a good man Such a one will do obliging things for principles sake He will pity involuntary failings He will do justice to
good intentions and give importance to all his fellowcreatures because he knows they and he are equally creatures of the almighty What woman who thinks but will prefer a good man to all others however distinguished by rank fortune or person But my Sir Charles is a good man and distinguished by all those advantages What a creature should I be blessed with a husband of a heart so faithful and so wellprincipled if I were not able to let my Love and compassion flow to a Clementina tho once and indeed for that very reason the only beloved of his heart—Why are not real calls made upon me to convince such a man that I have a mind emulative of his own at least of Clementinas The woman who from motives of Religion having the heart of a Sir Charles Grandison in her hand loving him above all earthly creatures and all her friends consenting could refuse him her vows must be in that act the greatest the most magnanimous of women But could the noble Lady have thus acted my dear grandmamma had not she been stimulated by that glorious Enthusiasm of which her disturbed imagination had shewn some previous tokens and which rightly directed has heretofore given the palm of martyrdom to Saints
WE have just now been welcomed to town by Sir Edward Beauchamp Sir Charles on presenting him to me thus expressed himself You remember my dearest Life what I wrote to you of the last part of the conversation between Sir Edward and me in relation to my Emily Your prudence my Harriet and love of the good girl your discretion and generosity Sir Edward will join you together as counsellors and advisers of your Grandison My Wife and my Friend cannot err in this instance because you will both consider what belongs to the characters of a Guardian and a Ward so beloved by you both and if you doubt have Dr Bartlett at hand
My uncle and aunt Lucy are determined to set out next Wednesday for Northamptonshire Sir Edward desired to know of Sir Charles If he had any objection to his attending them down None at all surely was Sir Charless answer
Mr Deane accompanies them in order to adjust some matters at Peterborough preparative to the favour he does us of settling with us or near us for the remainder of his days May that remainder be long and happy
Sir Charles asked Emily just now If she held her mind as to going down Indeed she did she said Her heart was in it and she would go that instant to acquaint her mother with her intention and to buy some things preparatory to her journey She should take it for a great favour she told Lucy if she would go with her on both occasions
Lucy has made to herself a great interest in Emilys heart They are both sure they shall be happy in each other My aunt loves her So does my uncle Who does not I am sure you will my dear grandmamma and pity her too Dear pretty soul She costs me now and then a tear But had I not been in her way it would have been worse She could have no hope I am sure she knows she could not But what a sad gradation is there in that Love which tho begun in hopelesness of succeeding rises by selfflattery to a possibility then to probability to hope and sinking again to hopelesness ends in despair—But how coolly I write on for one who is byandby to see a Clementina
I AM waiting Sir Charless kind leisure to carry me to Lady Ls He has Mr Lowther with him just now who however finding us engaged will not stay
Sir Charles approved my dress as he passed by me to go to Mr Lowther in the study He snatched my hand and pressed it with his lips My everlovely
my everconsiderate Harriet▪ you want no ornaments But I was sure you would not give yourself any but those that flowed from a compassionate and generous heart when you were to visit a Lady who at present is not in happy circumstances yet is intitled by merit as well as rank to be in the happiest
My aunt and Lucy long for my return to have an account of the Lady▪ and what passes between us How my heart—What is the matter with my heart
Sat March 3
LADY Clementina my dearest grandmamma▪ must not shall not be compelled If I admired if I loved her before now that I have seen her that I have conversed with her I love I admire her if possible ten times more She is really in her person a lovely woman of middle stature extremely genteel An air of dignity even of grandeur appears in her aspect and in all she says and does Her complexion is fine without art Indeed she is a lovely woman She has the finest black eye hair eyebrows of the same colour I ever saw yet has sometimes a wildish cast with her eye sometimes a languor that when one knows her story reminds one that her head has been disturbed Why taking advantage of her Sex is such a person to be controuled and treated as if she were not to have a will when she has an understanding perhaps superior to that of either of her wilful brothers
When we alighted at Lady Ls I begged Sir Charles to conduct me into any apartment but that where she was I sat down on the first seat Lady L hastened to me—My dearest sister you seem disordered—Fie—Lady Grandison and want spirits
Sir Charles not observing my emotion had left me and went to attend Lady Clementina She it seems was in some disorder My Harriet said he to her as he told me afterwards attends the commands of her Sisterexcellence
Call me not Excellence Call me not her Sister Am I not a fugitive in her eye in everybodys eye—I think Chevalier I cannot see her She will look down upon me I think I am as much afraid to see her as I was at first to see you Is there severity in her virtue
She is all goodness all sweetness madam Did I not tell you that she is the Clementina of England
Well Sir you are very good Dont let me be unpolite I am but a guest in this hospitable house—Else I would have attended her at the first door Is she not Lady Grandison Happy happy woman
Tears were in her eyes She turned away to hide them Then stepping forward I am now prepared to receive her Pray Sir introduce me
She is not without her emotions madam—She is preparing herself to see you Love compassion for Lady Clementina fills her bosom—I will present her to you
Lady L went to her Sir Charles came to me—My dearest Love why this concern You will see a woman you cannot fear but must love She has been in the like agitations—Favour me with your hand
No Sir—That would be to insult her
My dearest Life forget not your own dignity I started nor give me too much consequence with a Lady who like yourself is all Soul I glory in my wife I cannot desert myself
I was a little awed at the time but the moment I got home and was alone with him I acknowledged his goodness and greatness both in one
He led me in Lady L only at Sir Charless request for both our sakes was present The noble
Lady approached me I hastened to meet her with trembling feet Sir Charles kissing a hand of each joined them together Sisterexcellencies I have often called you Dearest of women love each other as I admire you both
She threw her arms about my neck Receive O receive to your Love to your Friendship a poor desolate Till within these few days a desolate indeed a fugitive a rebellious an ingrate to the best of parents
I embraced her—Mistaken parents I have called them madam—I have pitied them but most I have pitied you—Honour me with your sisterly love This best of men had before given me two Sisters Let us be four
Be it so my dear Lady L said Sir Charles bringing her to us And clasping his arms about the three You answer for the absent Charlotte and yourself a fourfold cord that never shall be broken
Sir Charles led us to one settee again putting a hand of each together and sitting down overagainst us Lady L on the other hand of him We were both silent for a few moments each struggling with her tears
My Harriet madam said Sir Charles as I have told you knows your whole story You two are of long acquaintance Your minds are kindred minds Your griefs are hers Your pleasures she will rejoice in as her own—My Harriet you now see you now know by person the admirable Clementina whose magnanimity you so much admired whose character you have so often said is the first among women
We both wept But her tears seemed tears of kindness and esteem I put the hand which was not in hers on her arm I wanted courage my reverence for her would not allow me to be so free or it had again embraced the too conscious Lady Believe me madam excuse my broken Italian I have ever revered
you I have said often very often that your happiness happy as I am is necessary to complete mine as well as Sir Charles Grandisons
This goodness to me a fugitive an alien to your country not a lover of your religion O Lady Grandison you must be as much all I have heard of you in your mind as I see you are in your person Receive my thank for making happy the man I wished to be the happiest of men for well does he deserve to be made so We were Brother and Sister madam before he knew you Let me be his Sister still and let me be yours
Kindred minds Sir Charles Grandison calls ours madam He does me honour May I on further knowledge appear to as much advantage in your eye as you from what I know of you do in mine and I shall be a very happy creature
Then you will be happy I was prepared to love you I love you already methinks with a passion that wants not further knowlege of your goodness to augment it But can you madam look upon me with a true sisterly eye Can you pity me for the step I have taken so seemingly deregatory to my glory Can you believe me unhappy but not wicked for taking it O madam my reason has been disturbed—Do you know that—You must attribute to that some of my perversenesses
Heaven dearest Lady Clementina only knows how many tears your calamity has cost me In the most arduous cases I have preferred your happiness to my own You shall know all of me and of my heart Not a secret of it tho yet uncommunicated to this dearest of men▪ will I conceal from you I hope we shall be true Sisters and true Friends to the end of our lives
My noble Harriet said the generous man—Frankness of heart my dear Clementina is her characteristic She means all she says and will perform more
than she promises I need not tell you my Love what our Clementina is You know her to be the noblest of women Give her the promised proofs of your confidence in her and whatever they be they must draw close the knot which never will be untied
Already thus encouraged said the noble Lady let me apply to you madam to strengthen for me the interest I presume to have in the friendship of Sir Charles Grandison Let me not Sir let me not I intreat you all three be compelled to give my vows to any man in marriage All of you promise me and I shall with more delight look before me than for a long long time past I thought would fall to my Lot
You madam must concede a little perhaps Your parents must a little relax Their reason if you will not be too unconceding shall not if I am referred to be mine unless it is reason in every other impartial judgment Would to Heaven they were at hand to be consulted
What a wish Then you would give me up You are a good man Will a good man resist the authority of parents in favour of a runaway child Dear dear madam clasping her arms about me prevail upon your Chevalier Grandison to protect me to plead for me He can deny you nothing He will then protect me tho my father my mother my brothers should all join to demand me of him
My dear Lady Clementina said I you may depend on your own interest with Sir Charles Grandison He has your happiness at heart and will have as much as I wish him to have mine
Generous noble good Lady Grandison how I admire you May the Almighty shower upon you his choicest blessings If you allow me an interest in his services I demand it of you Chevalier
Demand it expect it be assured of it my dear Lady Clementina I want to talk with you upon your expectations
your wishes As much as is practicable whatever they are they shall be mine
Well Sir when then shall we talk—Tomorrow will be too soon for my spirits
Do my Harriet then the honour of passing the day on Monday with her The dear friends we have for our guests will choose to pass it with Lord and Lady G—Yourself Lady L my Harriet and I will be all the company You shall declare your pleasure and that shall be a Law to me At present this affecting interview has discomposed us all and we will retire
Kindly considered said she You are in England what you were in Italy—I am discomposed I have discomposed you madam to me I was born to give trouble to my friends Forgive me I once was happy—I may hope madam to Lady L your supporting presence at your brothers on Monday
Lady L bowed her assent She understands Italian but speaks it not
The Lady stood up yet trembling I will withdraw Ladies Sir if you please My head seems as if bound round by a tight cord putting her hand to her forehead Then clasping her arms round me thus in a high strain spoke she—Angel of a woman gracious as the blessed Virgin Mother benign▪ all that is good and great I attend you on Monday Adieu—She kissed my cheek I clasped my arms about her Revered Lady Clementina—I could say no more Tears and tenderness of accent interrupted my speech Lady L conducted her to her own apartment and left her to her Laura
We sat down admiring praising praying for her Dear dear Sir said I taking Sir Charless hand Lady Clementina must not be persuaded Perfuasion is Compulsion Why comes over the Count of Belvedere If she knows it I will not answer for her right mind
My Uncle and Aunt Lucy Emily were very curious after particulars when we came home as we did to supper
Sir Charles left it to Lady L to manage with Lady G who he knew expected a day of our beloved guests and he himself apologized to them for the freedom he had taken of so disposing of them They had the goodness to thank him for his freedom with them But yet they long to see the admirable Lady who could renounce the man of her choice from religious motives yet love him still fly to him for protection yet be able to congratulate him on his marriage and love his wife She is great indeed said my aunt—Lucy praised my generosity—But what is that which is called generosity in me who am in full possession of all my wishes to that of Clementina
Join my dear grandmamma in prayers for her happiness the rather as in it from true affection is concluded that of
Your HARRIET GRANDISON
Monday March 5
LADY L and Lady Clementina came just as we were preparing for breakfast
Lady L had given her such an account of my friends that she was desirous to see them and as she was pleased to say to bespeak their favour to the poor fugitive After the first salutations she addressed my aunt Selby in French being told that she spoke not Italian You are happy madam said she in a niece who may challenge the world to shew her equal and still more happy in her being blessed with such a husband Merit is not always so well rewarded—My aunt was struck with the manner as well as with the words
She made a very pretty compliment to my uncle who having forgot his French could only bow and seem pleased When Lucy was presented to her as my uncles niece and my favourite correspondent You must not mademoiselle said she be angry with me if I envy you
To Emily Happy happy young Lady said she I have heard of you in Italy Mrs Beaumont spoke honourably of you to me more than once We both called you happy in such a guardian
She made polite compliments to Mr Deane and bespoke all their favour to her How does everybody admire her
I hope my dear grandmamma you dont think I forget my cousin Reevess tho I mentioned them not before I have already called in upon them twice And they have with the kind freedom of relations dropt in upon us several times They are invited guests at Lord Gs I wont say Lady Gs tho everybody else does
This is what I stole time to write while Sir Charles is engaged in discourse with the Lady and our guests are preparing to be gone to Lord Gs Lady G requesting my aunts company early She is the veriest coward These brave spirits she has said are but flash Indeed the very delicate as well as very serious and even solemn circumstances which attend her case must make the liveliest woman when the time approaches think—The inclosed note of hers to my aunt brought late last night is however in her usual stile
YOU and Lucy must be here early Tomorrow morning
What wretched simpletons are we women Daughters of gewgaw solly ostentation trifle—First we shew our sorry fellow when not disapproved to our friends and relations and take all their judgments
upon him If he has their opinion in his favour everybody be he what he will will praise him and give him riches sense ancestry and I cannot tell what of qualities that perhaps we shall never find out Then we shew our presents our jewels our laces and a smile spreads the mouth and a sparkle gladdens the eye of every maiden that hangs admiring over them Ah filly maidens if you could look three yards from your noses you would pity instead of envying the milkwhite heifer dressed in ribbands and just ready to be led to sacrifice
Well then what comes next Why the poor soul in a few months by the time perhaps her gratulatory visits are half paid her begins to find apprehension take place of security Then are she and all her virgins employed in the wretchedest trifles—If I thought you had forgot them I would give you a list of them—And the poor fools wrapping up their jewels in cotton with sighs that perhaps they have worn them for the last time and doubtful whom they may next adorn cover the deckedout milkwhite bed with their babythings See here and See here and What is the use of this and of that asks the curious and perhaps too fearless maiden Why this is for— and That is for— answer the matrons who have passed the Rubicon
And to this is your Charlotte reduced—Aunt Selby Lucy come early that I may show you my babythings—O dear O dear O dear—and that you may be able to testify that I had no design to overlay the little Marmouset Adieu till ten tomorrow morning
C G
The moment our guests were gone Sir Charles came to me and leading me into my drawingroom where the Lady was Comfort my Love said he your Sister
I hastened to her poor Lady she was in tears and even sobbing and clasping my arms about her Be comforted be consoled my dearest Lady Clementina
O madam my Father my Mother my Jeronymo are every day expected who beside I know not How shall I look my Father my Mother in the face
Sir Charles withdrew He was troubled for her He sent in Lady L
Your dear friend madam said I and my dear friend will protect you Your father and mother would not have had the thoughts of taking so long and troublesome a voyage had they not resolved to do every thing in their power to restore you to peace and to them
So the Chevalier tells me
At this time of the year madam such a voyage your mamma so tender in her health Such a dislike to the sea Her whole motive is tenderness and love She prefers your health your tranquillity to her own
And is not this consideration enough to distress a grateful spirit—Unworthy Clementina To every relation in every action of late unworthy What trouble hast thou given thy parents I cannot cannot bear to see them—O my Lady Grandison I was ever a perverse creature Whatever I set my heart upon I was uneasy till I had compassed it My pride and my perverseness have cost me dear But of late I have been more perverse than ever My heart ran upon coming to England I could think of nothing till I came I have tried that experiment I am sick of it I do not like England now I see I cannot be unmolested here But my favourite for years was another project That filled my mind and helped me to make the sacrifice I did—and here I am come to almost the only country in Europe which could render my darling wish impracticable
Why went I not to France I had with me sufficient to have obtained my admission into any order of nuns And had I been once professed—I will get away still I think Befriend me my sister I cannot cannot see my mother
Sir Charles came in just then I heard what you last said madam said he Compose yourself I beseech you I dreaded to acquaint you with the expected arrival of your parents But are they not the most indulgent of parents You have nothing you shall have nothing to fear and you will have everything to hope from their presence
Will you engage for their allowing of a divine dedication Sir Will you plead that cause for me
I cannot say what will what can be done till I see them But confide in my zeal to serve you madam Lord Ls house I repeat shall be your asylum till you shall consent to see them I cannot be guilty of a prevarication I will own to them that I know where you are but till you give leave you shall be as much concealed from their knowledge as if you were still at your first lodgings and I myself ignorant of your abode
A man of honour said she her hands lifted up is more valuable to a woman in trouble than all the riches of the East But tell me now tell me upon your neverforfeited honour whom besides my Father Mother and your Jeronymo do you expect
My Lord the Bishop madam—
Oh Oh said she clapping her hands together with an inimitable grace and eagerness—I am afraid—But whom else
Father Marescotti—
The good man will he think it worth his while—But for my father and mothers sake he will—Whom else
Mrs Beaumont madam never intended to set her •oot on English ground again But she has broken thro her resolution to oblige your mother
Good Mrs Beaumont—But I am half afraid of her Well Sir
Camilla your poor Camilla madam
Poor Camilla I used her hardly But teazing never yet did good with me Remember Sir they are not to know were I am Your house madam to Lady L is to be my asylum—Then seeing me affected Gentlest of human hearts said she what right have I thus to pain you Well Sir drying her eyes with looks too earnest for her health of mind tell me is anybody else expected
Your cousins Sebastiano and Juliano madam but not the General
Thank Heaven for that—I love my brother Giacomo But he is so determined a man—His own Lady only can soften his heart
Sir Charles by his admirable address made her tolerably easy by dinnertime on the subject of her friends expected arrival And she once owned that she should be transported with joy to see her Father Mother and Jeronymo could she assure herself that she could see them with forgiveness in their countenances
Sir Charles would only be attended at table by Saunders whom she had seen in Italy She was much pleased to have it so but desired Laura might be permitted to attend at the back of her own chair
I addressed myself to Laura three of four times as she stood The Lady was pleased And Laura seemed proud of my notice
Nowandthen an involuntary tear filled the Ladys eye as she fat It was easy to enter into her thoughts p oor Lady on her situation She was grieved she said at the trouble she gave me and frequently sought to suppress a sigh Once after a resverie of few minutes And am I here said she In England At the house of the Chevalier Grandison Can it be a
After dinner Lady L and she and I retiring to
my drawingroom What a generous Lady said she are you I was afraid to see you before I saw you But the moment I beheld you I embraced a Sister You will allow of my esteem of your Grandison
Of your Love dear Lady Clementina and thank you for it A good man has an Interest in every good persons affections
Such generosity snatching my hand with both hers would confirm a doubtful goodness But indeed my esteem for him always soared above person You know I am a zealous Catholic You know our doctrine of merits I would have laid down my life to save his soul But surely God will be merciful to such a man and no less so to such a woman as putting her Arms about me I have now the honour to embrace
Mercy madam said I is the darling attribute of the Almighty He is the God of all men
True—But—And was going to say something surther but stopt on Sir Charless entrance
Sir Charles after sitting with us a little while asked leave of absence for an hour to look on his friends at Lord Gs We had a charming conversation in the mean time Our subjects were various The customs of Italian Ladies and their surprising illiterateness in general were parts of it A woman there it seems who knew more than her own tongue was a miracle till within these few years that the French customs seem prevailing there Why madam the Ladies of Italy with geniuss as fine as that classic climate ever produced are immersed in the pleasures of sense: Singing dancing and conversationgallantry take up their whole time One would imagine that their husbands and fathers thought them only children of this world and not heirs of a better hope by the little care taken in improving their understanding And were it not for the religion of the country which we call superstition half the Italian
world of women would be looked upon merely as temporary idols for men to worship for temporary gratifications only Yet in their conversationassemblies men see what they are capable of But their country it seems is in the same uncultivated state as the minds of their women The garden of the world as Italy is called is overrun with weeds And for want of cultivation the very richness of its soil becomes its disease But these reflexions I draw rather by deduction from what Lady Clementia said than from any direct confession of hers She is fond of her country in its present state But sensible English travellers speak of it as I have written
Sir Charles returned within his time He is kind to be everywhere for he is the life of every company and of every individual
We passed a sweet evening together and till near eleven oclock Were Lady Clementina happy how happy should we all be
Sir Charles waited on the Ladies home Lord L was by that time returned from Lord Gs but was the first of the friendly company that withdrew Lady G it seems was all alive in every part of the ontertainment My uncle Selby and she spared not each other Her Lord I sansy fared the better or the presence of the Earl and Lady Gertrude and for her having my Uncle to shoot at
God preserve my grandmamma and all my dear friends in her neighbourhood prays
Her ever dutiful HARRIET GRANDISON
Wednesday March 7
OUR grief will be your joy my dearest grandmamma My Uncle my Aunt Lucy Emily Mr Deane—They are just gone Just left me
What a parting—But Emily Dear creature what was her grief her noble struggle with herself to conceal her anguish from her guardian
She will now be yours and my aunt Selbys and when once settled will must be happy for she is good and you all love her and will love her the more for this great instance of her nobleness of mind
About half an hour before we parted she begged to speak a few words to me in my closet I led her thither When we entered it she shut the door and dropt down on her knees I would have raised her but she would not be raised I clasped my arms about her neck I have revealed all my folly to you said she Forgive the weakness of a poor girl A thousand thousand thanks to you madam for your indulgent goodness to me I longed to live with you and my guardian I placed my whole happiness in the grant You gave me an opportunity to try the experiment What I little expected happened I was more unhappy than before I revere your grandmamma She is a blessed Lady How good was she on your weddingday to wish me poor me to supply to her the loss of her Harriet Her goodness her condescension that of all your family overcame me It would not perhaps had I not tried the other experiment All that I have now to beg of you is to pardon me for the trouble I must have given to your noble heart It is a noble heart or it could not have borne with me as it has done But promise to write a
I do promise my Love my Emily The correspondence between us will delight me Nobody shall see any of our Letters but at your choice
Lady L Lady G may madam They love the poor Emily Nobody else may I believe I shall write so poorly—But I shall improve as I have more years and more sense But my present concern is more for Lady Clementina than for myself Poor Lady Pray write something of her friends behaviour to her and hers to them to me particularly besides what you write to your grandmamma I shall take it for such a favour And it will make me look so important You dont know how proud it will make me and it will induce your Lucy and everybody to shew me everything you write to them and I shall have it in my power to read out of your Letters to me something in return which will look like an acquittal of obligation
All that she wished me to do and still more as occasions offered I promised
She arose from her knees called me by many tender names kissed one cheek then the other then one hand then the other I folded her to my fond heart My Sister my Friend my Emily I called her We wetted each others Bosom with our tears and both went down with red eyes
Extremely tender but delicate was the leave she took of her guardian The Brother the affectionate Friend and Father I may say appeared in his unreserved tenderness to her She hurried into my uncles coach which stood ready when she parted with him that her emotion might not be too visible I hastening in after her lest she should be too much
affected while my Aunt Lucy and my Uncle were taking their leaves in the hall
My dearest Emily I admire you said I Do you do you—Best of wives of women of friends of sisters do you say so—I behaved not amiss then
Amiss No my dear Charmingly my Love You are great as ever woman was
How you comfort me
Adieu adieu my best Love said I—My best Lady Grandison said she Both in a breath as from one heart embracing and quitting each other with regret her arms folded about herself when I left her as if I were still within them
I gave my hand to Sir Edward Beauchamp on stepping out of the coach for he was ready to attend them and hurrying into the hall threw myself into the arms of my aunt My Love said she take care of yourself Emily shall not need to be your concern She will be our Harriet
Indeed she shall said Lucy Dear girl she shall be mine And thank God I now have two Harriets instead of one
My uncle wept like a child at parting with me He would have carried it off smiling in his tears What what sobbed he shall I do for my girl I shall miss I shall miss your sausausauciness sometimes—Was I ever angry with you in my Life
Mr Deane comforted himself that he should but settle his affairs at Peterborough and then would make our residence his whereever we should be
All of them departed blessing us and we them hoping for a speedy meeting in Northamptonshire Every one expressd their solicitude for the happiness of Lady Clementina as well for her own sake as for Sir Charless and mine
God give you and my dearest dearest friends now
on their journey to you a happy meeting with every felicity that on this earth can fall to the lot of persons so dear to the heart of
Your everdutiful HARRIET GRANDISON
Dover Monday night March 12 O S
HERE we are my Grandison my father and mother so indifferent in their healths that we shall have time to wait for your direction My mother was so incommoded that we put in at Antibes and by slow journeys stopping a few days at Paris proceeded to Calais where we hired a vessel to bring us hither My Brother and Father Marescotti are indisposed Camilla is not well Mrs Beaumont to whom we owe infinite obligations is the life of us all
Have you heard of the dear fugitive who has given us all so much disturbance and at this season of the year so much fatigue God grant that she may be safe in your protection and in her right mind Had she been so at the time▪ she had never meditated such a wild such a disgraceful flight The heart of the Count of Belvedere is torn in pieces by his impatience He will soon follow the man and horse whom we dispatch with this Signor Sebastiano will accompany him Juliano will stay with us The fatigue has been rather too much for your Jeronymo But he rejoices that he has his foot on English ground the country that gave birth to his Grandison and in his hopes of seeing his kind and skilful Lowther God grant us a happy meeting and that no interruption may have been given to your nuptial happiness by the extravagance of a young creature which can
only be accounted for in her by the unhappy disorder of her mind Adieu Adieu my Grandison
JERONYMO della PORRETTA
Tuesday morning Eleven March 13
ABOUT two hours ago Sir Charles received a Letter from Signor Jeronymo The man had rode all night They are all at Dover
Sir Charles is already set out gone with four coaches and six of our own and friends for them and their attendants Mr Lowther with him Richard Saunders is left to attend the Count of Belvedere to the lodgings taken for him
The house in Grosvenorsquare is ready for the reception of the illustrious guests
As soon as I can get quieter spirits I will attend Lady Clementina in order to reassure her if I find sue has presence of mind enough to hear the news Sir Charles has already induced her to wish the crisis over It is a crisis I am almost as much affected for her as she can be for herself Yet she has not cruel friends to meet May the dear Lady keep in her right mind
In what a hurry of spirits I write You will not wonder I have not my grandmammas steadiness of mind Never never shall I be like my grandmamma
Tuesday two oclock
In Lady Ls closet I have as gently as I could broken the news of their safe arrival at Dover to Lady Clementina She began the subject and said She had been praying for the safety of her friends What will become of me said she should mishap befal any one of them Should the fatigue be too
much for either my father or mother their healths so precarious or for my Jeronymo so lately ill
After proper prefacings I hoped I said her cares on that subject would soon be over Sir Charles had some intimation of the likelihood of their arrival at a particular port and was actually set out with coaches in hopes of accommodating them when they did arrive and to bring them to the house which had been as she knew before got ready for their reception
She looked by turns on me and on Lady L in speechless terror At last Then I am sure said she you know they are come Tell me tell me are they indeed arrived And are they all well
I owned they were and at Dover and waited there to refresh themselves and to be informed of her health and safety before they would proceed further
She wept even to sobbing inveighed against herself Her tears were tears of duty and tenderness She comforted herself that Sir Charles would be able to soften their resentments against her and she was sure he would make the best conditions for her that could be obtained
Lord L is all goodness all compassion to her He greatly admires her But we observe that there are some little traces of wildness nowandthen in her talk which carries her into high language and exclamation May her mind be quieted May her intellects be preserved entire in the affecting scenes before her—I am sent for home in haste
Tuesday night
METHINKS I am half afraid of telling even you my grandmamma at this distance to whom I was sent for It was to the Count of Belvedere Signor Sebastiano was with him Lord G happened to call in at St Jamess Square when they arrived and sending for me entertained them till I came
I asked Lord G half out of breath with fear at
my first alighting If he had said any-thing of the Lady Not a syllable said he I avoided answering questions The gentlemen were full of impatience to know something about her And this made me send for you For tho cautioned I was afraid of blundering—Honest modest worthy Lord G—I prevailed on them to stay supper with me Lord G was so obliging as to send home to excuse himself to his Lady at my request
They are both fine young gentlemen extremely polite We have been told that the Count is a handsome man Indeed he is Any Lady with such a character as he has if she were not prepossessed might like him He is certainly a gentledispositioned and goodnatured man He looks the man of quality He seems not to be above five or sixandtwenty Has a foreign aspect and a complexion a sallowish brown yet has a healthy look His eyes however as I knew his case appeared to me to have a cast like those of a man whose mind is disturbed
I behaved to them with the greatest frankness I could shew I told them that Sir Charles set out in the morning on the receipt of a letter from Dover for that port and with what equipages They gave but a poor account of the health of the Marchioness But if she could but hear good tidings he said and stopt—
Sir Charles I answered would do his utmost to set their hearts at ease
May I not ask a question madam said the Count I find your Ladyship knows everything of us and our affairs We heard in Italy that you were all goodness and find you to be an angel I make no compliment said he laying his spread hand on his heart
Lord G with kind officiousness said that was the universal voice
I answered in French the language in which he spoke to me—That I had the pleasure of informing him that Letters had passed between Lady Clementina and Sir Charles The account she gives of herself said I makes us not quite unhappy
Makes Us said the Count to Signor Sebastiano in Italian his hands lifted up Heavenly goodness
I imagined that he thought I understood not that tongue and that I might not mislead them into undue compliments I said in my brokenaccented Italian We all here Signors are as much interested in the health and happiness of Lady Clementina as any of her friends in Italy can be
They applauded all of us who were as they said so generously interested in the happiness of one of the most excellent of women
I told the Count that Sir Charles had as desired provided lodgings for him I hoped he would find them convenient tho Sir Charles thought them not befitting his quality He said before he set out this morning hearing that their Lordships were then probably on their journey from Dover to London ordered his gentleman to attend him to them You Signor said I are if you please with Signor Juliano to be Sir Charless own guests We have another house which will be honoured with the residence of the Marquis and Marchioness their Sons the good Father Marescotti and their other friends
Good Father Marescotti repeated the Count—Excellent Lady Grandison—But you say well Father Marescotti is indeed a good man
I have by heart my Lord said I the characters of all my dear Sir Charless good friends
Again the two Lords looked upon each other as admiring me
Pity my dear grandmamma that different nations of the world tho of different persuasions did not more than they do consider themselves as the
creatures of one God the Sovereign of a thousand worlds
The Count expressed great impatience to know some particulars of Lady Clementina I took this opportunity to say that as I had been informed of the transcendent piety of the Lady and of her great earnestness from her earliest youth to take the veil I presumed it would forward the good understanding hoped for if it were not at present known that his Lordship was arrived and the rather as several tender scenes might be expected to pass between her and her other friends which perhaps her present easily to be supposed weak spirits and turn of mind might with difficulty enable her to support
The Count sighed But bowing said He came with a very small retinue because he would be as private as possible He had been for many months determined to visit England The family della Porretta Signor Jeronymo in particular had promised to visit Sir Charles in it likewise They should indeed have chosen a better season for it had not their care and concern for one of the most excellent of women induced them to anticipate their intentions He was entirely of my opinion he added that his arrival in England should not at present be known by Lady Clementina
He then in a very gallant but modest manner owned to my Lord G and me his passion for her and said that on the issue of this adventure of the dear Lady hung his destiny
I told him I had been the more free in giving my humble advice as to the keeping secret his Lordships arrival as but for that reason I could assure him Sir Charles would not have permitted his Lordship or any of his train to go into his lodgings And I mentioned the high regard which I knew Sir Charles had for the Count of Belvedere
I ordered supper to be got early as I supposed the
two Lords would be glad to retire soon after the fatigue of their journey for they had set out early in the morning I sent a note begging the favour of my cousin Reevess company to supper apologizing by the occasion for the short notice They were so kind as to come They admire the two young noblemen for Signo r Sebastiano as well as the Count is a sensible modest young man Mr Reeves and they entered into free conversation in French which we all understood on their country voyage and journey by land Both gentlemen spoke of Sir Charles and his behaviour in Italy in raptures
My cousin Reeves attended by Saunders was so good as to conduct the Count to his lodgings in his coach Sir Charles having all our equipages with him
You will soon have another Letter my dearest grandmamma from
Your everdutiful HARRIET GRANDISON
Wedn morn March 14
MR and Mrs Reeves were so kind as to breakfast and intend to dine with me
They brought with them as agreed upon overnight the Count of Belvedere who has assumed the name of Signor Marfigli After breakfast Mr Reeves dropping my cousin at Lady Gs carried the two noblemen thro several of the greet streets and squares of this vast town To Westminsterhall the houses of parliament c
I went in my chair mean time to pay my sincerest compliments to Lady Clementina I assured her that she was and should be the subject of our choicest cares
Poor Lady She is full of apprehensions I owned to
her the arrival of Signor Sebastiano and his prayers for her safety and health and told her what I had answered to his enquiries after her
She was for removing to some distance from town where she thought she could be more private Lord and Lady L both assured her it was impossible she could be anywhere so private as in this great town nor so happily situated should she think fit on a reconciliation to own where she had been as in the protection and at the house of Sir Charles Grandisons brother and sister
God be praised for the happy meeting you all have had Lucy is very good to be so particular about my Emily a Dear girl She is an example to all young Ladies Let Clementina be made easy and who will be so happy as your Harriet
Thursday March 15
SIR Charles has been so good as to let me know that he and Mr Lowther arrived yesterday morning at Dover He found the Marchioness Signor Jeronymo and the good Camilla as he calls her very much indisposed from the fatigues they had undergone both in mind and body The whole noble family received him with inexpressible joy Jeronymo told him that his arrival and Mr Lowthers with him had given them all spirits and health must follow to those who were indisposed
Sir Charles supposes that they will be obliged to continue at Dover all this day Tomorrow if the Marchioness is able to bear the journey they propose to set out and proceed as far on their way to London as her health will permit and to get to town as early on Saturday as possible
The dear man thought his Harriet would be uneasy if he had not written to her as he shall be two days longer out than he had hoped To be sure she
should If he had not thought so justly of her as she knows no other method of valuing herself than by his value of her she must have been extremely sunk in her own opinion
He bids me assure Lady Clementina that she will find every one of her friends determined to do all in their power to make her happy Resentment he says has no place in their bosoms They breathe nothing but reconciliation and Love
I will not my dear grandmamma dispatch this Letter to you till I can inform you that this worthy family are settled with us and at GrosvenorSquare
Sat Evening March 17
I HAVE just received the following billet from Sir Charles
GrosvenorSquare Sat 4 oclock
MY dearest Love will rejoice to know by this that our friends are all arrived here in safety The Marchioness bore the journey better than we expected My Jeronymo is in fine spirits I thought it would give my Harriet as well as them less fatigue if I put them into immediate possession of this house than if I brought them to pay their compliments to her as they were very desirous to do at St Jamess Square Mrs Beaumont has allotted to them their respective apartment There is room enough and they are pleased to say handsome room Signor Juliano will attend my Love with me What an admirable forecast in my dearest life A repast so elegant prepared as your Murray informs me by your personal direction to attend their hour She tells me you have borrowed a female servant of each of our sisters and one of Mrs Reeves to join with two of your own in the service of this house In everything on every occasion you delight by your goodness and greatness of mind
Your everdevoted CH GRANDISON
I shall stay supper with them But shall break away as soon as I can to attend the joy of my heart
Am I not a happy creature my dear grandmamma By what little offices if done with tolerable grace may one make a great and noble spirit think itself under obligation to one—But had I known they would not have called first in St Jamess Square I would not have contented myself as I did with a visit to the other house in the middle of the day to see everything was in order against they came They should have found me there to receive and welcome them
Signor Sebastiano is flown to them I should have told you that the Count at my request dined and supped with me and Signor Sebastiano they choosing to comply with our English customs every day of this week from that of his arrival They are really good young men They improve upon me every hour How do they admire Lady Clementina The Count yesterday complimented me that for piety reading understanding sweetness of manners frankness of heart she could only be equally in England Italy knew not he said nor had known of modern times her mother excepted such another woman If I knew Lady Clementina he added I would not wonder at his perseverance he having besides the honour of all her familys good opinion
How I long to see every individual of this noble family—I know how sincerely I love them all by this one instance—I have not now for near a week that my dearest friend has been absent from me in their service wished once for his company tho had he not written to me on Thursday I should have been anxious for his health and theirs
May they be indulgently and not ungraciously forgiving—Then will I dearly love them—Poor Lady Clementina How full of apprehensions has she been
all this week She has not stirred out of her chamber since Wednesday morning nor designs it for a week or two to come
Sunday
MY dearest Friend my Lover my Husband every tender word in one left his noble guests for their sakes early last night and he was pleased to tell me for his own sake longing to see to thank to applaud his Harriet He brought with him the two young noblemen who are our own immediate guests
He gave me last night and this morning an account of what passed between the family and himself from his arrival at Dover to their coming to town last night
They confessed the highest obligations to him for attending them in person and for bringing Mr Lowther with him But when on their eager questions to him after their Clementina he told them that he had heard from her and that she had owned herself to be in honourable and tender hands the Marquis lifted up his eyes in thankful rapture The Marchioness with clasped hands seemed to praise God but her lips only moved All the rest expressed their joy in words dictated by truly affectionate hearts
Sir Charles found them all most cordially disposed to forgive the dear fugitive as the Bishop called her But depend upon it added the Prelate nothing will secure her head but our yielding to her in her long wishedfor hope of the convent or on prevailing on her to marry And if you Grandison join with us I question not but the latter may be effected
Sir Charles blamed them for having precipitated her as they had done
That said the Bishop was partly the fault of our well meaning Giacomo and partly her own for more than once she gave us hope that she would comply with our wishes
I besought Sir Charles that he would not be prevailed upon to take part with them if she continued averse to a change of condition
I waved the subject my dearest Life replied he at the time I have continued to do so ever since I want only to see them settled and Lady Clementina composed and then I shall know what can be done Till then arguments on either side will rather strengthen than remove difficulties
The Bishop with great concern told Sir Charles that when the first news of Clementinas flight was brought to Bologna her poor mother was for two days as unhappy in her mind as ever her daughter had been and when it was found likely that Clementina was gone to England she insisted so vehemently on following her that they had no other way to pacify her but by promising that they would out of hand pay to Sir Charles the visit they intended and some of them had engaged to make him Nor would she when she grew better on their promise acquit them of it This determined them to this winter excursion sorely against the will of some of them And it was in compassion to this unhappy state of the poor mothers mind that Mrs Beaumont consented to accompany her
Sir Charles is gone to attend Lady Clementina He then proposes to welcome the Count of Belvedere into England and afterwards to wait on the noble family and know when I shall be permitted to pay my devoirs to them
Sunday Two oclock
SIR Charles has found it very difficult to quiet the apprehensions of Lady Clementina He is grieved for her God grant he prays that she keep in her right mind Lady L thinks the poor Lady is already disturbed
Sir Charles was joyfully received by Signor Marsigli He owned to that Lord that he knew where to
send Letters to Lady Clementina He is to introduce me byandby to his guests at GrosvenorSquare
Sunday night
SIR Charles presented me to this expecting family I admire them all
The Marquis and Marchioness are a fine couple There is dignity in their aspects and behaviour A fixed kind of melancholy sits upon the features of each The Bishop has the man of quality in his appearance but he has something more solemn in his countenance than even Father Marescotti who at a glance is not unlike our Dr Bartlett The more like as goodness and humility both shine in his countenance
But Signor Jeronymo is an amiable young man I could almost at first sight and his winning grace confirmed me have called him Brother With signal kindness did my Sir Charles present me to this his dear friend and with equal kindness did Signor Jeronymo receive me and congratulate Sir Charles They all joined in the congratulation
The amiable Mrs Beaumont—She embraced me She felicitated me with such a grace as made her manner surpass even her words
The good Camilla was presented to me She has the look of a gentlewoman How many scenes did the sight of this good woman revive in my memory Some of them painful ones
Signior Marsigli as he is called and the two young Lords dined with them This being a first visit on my part we made it a short one We went from them to Lady Gs and drank tea with her and her Lord Sir Charles could not bear he said to go immediately from the sighing parents to the sorrowing daughter they not knowing nor being at present to know she was so near them
Lady G was so petulant so whimsical when her
brothers back was turned that I could not forbear blaming her But I let her go her own way She stopt my mouth—
So you think you shall behave more patiently more thankfully in the same circumstance—Look to it Harriet
Here my dearest grandmamma I will conclude this Letter Pray for the poor Clementina for a happy reconciliation and that the result may be tranquillity of mind restored to this whole noble family so necessary to that of your dear Sir Charles and
His and Your HARRIET GRANDISON
Thursday March 22
NOthing decisive yet my dear grandmamma
There have been some generous contentions between the family and Sir Charles He has besought them to make their hearts easy and he will comply with all their reasonable desires
They think not of dining with or visiting us till they can hear some tidings of their beloved daughter
Lord G Lord L and Lady L as also Mrs Eleanor Grandison have been presented to them
Sir Charles has begun to enter into a treaty as I may call it with the Lady on one part her Family on the second and the Count of Belvedere on the third Lady Clementina it seems insists upon being allowed to take the veil and that in a manner that sometimes carries wildness with it The Bishop Sir Charles thinks seems less fervent in his opposition to it than formerly Father Marescotti in his heart he believes favours her wishes But the Marquis and Marchioness and Signor Jeronymo plead their own inclinations their Son the Generals unabated fervor
in behalf of the marriage were it but to secure the performance of the grandfathers will and to be an effectual disappointment of the interested hopes of Lady Sforza and her daughter Laurana The Count of Belvederes passion for the Lady notwithstanding her unhappy malady past and apprehended makes a great merit for him with the family and the two young Lords think so highly of him for his perseverance that they are attached to his interest and declare that the Conte della Porretta their father is as strongly on the same side as the General himself
In the mean time the fond mother is so impatient to see her daughter that they are afraid of the consequences as to health both of mind and body if a speedy determination be not come to On the other hand the young Lady grieves to find herself as she says in such a situation as to be obliged to insist on conditions with her parents before she can throw herself at their feet which she longs to do tho she dreads to see them Sometimes and they are when she is calmest she blames herself for the step she has taken at others she endeavours to find excuses for it
Sunday morning Mar 25
SIR Charles has drawn up a paper at the request of all parties He last night gave a copy of it to the Lady another to the Count a third to the Bishop for them all to consider of the contents and he will attend them tomorrow for their answer He has been pleased to give me also a copy of it which is as follows
I That Lady Clementina in obedience to the will of her two deceased grandfathers in duty to her parents and uncle and in compliance with the earnest supplications of the most affectionate of brothers shall engage her honour to give up all thoughts of withdrawing from the world
not only for the present but for all future time so long as she shall remain in her maiden state
II She shall be at liberty to choose her way of Life and shall be allowed at her own pleasure to visit her Brother and his Lady at Naples her Uncle at Urbino Mrs Beaumont at Florence and be put into the immediate perception of the profits of the estate bequeathed to her if she chooses it that she may be enabled to do that extensive good with the produce that she could not do were she to renounce the world in which case that estate would devolve to one who it is but too probable would make a very different use of it
III She shall have the liberty of nominating her own attendants and in case of death or removal by promotion of Father Marescotti whose merits must at last render him conspicuous to choose her own confessor But that her Father and Mother shall have their negative preserved to them in either case while she continues in their palace Nor will the dear Lady think this a hardship for she wishes not to be independent on parents of whose indulgent goodness to her she is most dutifully sensible and it is reasonable that they should be judges of the conduct of every one who is to be a domestic in their family
IV As Lady Clementina from some late unhappy circumstances thinks she cannot marry any man and as a late extraordinary step taken by her has shewn that there is at present too much reason to attend to the weight of her plea it is hoped that the Count of Belvedere for his own sake for the sake of the composure of mind of the Lady so dear to all who have the honour of knowing her will resolve to discontinue his addresses to her and engage never to think of resuming them unless some hopes
should arise in course of time of his succeeding in her favour by her own consent
V Her everhonoured parents for themselves and for their absent brother the Count of Porretta her right reverend brother for himself and as far as he may for his elder brother Signor Jeronymo for himself will be so good as to promise that they will never with earnestness endeavour to persuade much less to compel Lady Clementina to marry any man whatever nor encourage her Camilla or any other friend or confident to endeavour to prevail upon her to change her condition Her parents however reserving to themselves the right of proposing as they shall think fit but not of urging because the young Lady who is by nature sweettempered gentle obliging dutiful thinks herself however determined by inclination less able to withstand the persuasions of indulgent friends than she should be to resist the most despotic commands
VI These terms conceded to on all sides it is humbly proposed that the young Lady shall throw herself as she is impatient to do at the feet of her indulgent parents and that all acts of disobligation shall be buried in everlasting oblivion
The proposer of the above six articles takes the liberty to add on the presumption that they may be carried into effect that his noble guests will allow him to rejoice with them on their mutual happiness restored for months to come in his native country
He hopes that they will accept of his endeavours to make England as agreeable to them as they heretofore made Italy to him
He begs that they will consider their family and his
as one family ever to be united by the indissoluble ties of true friendly Love
He hopes for their company at his country seat
He will seek for opportunities to oblige and accommodate them in every article whether devotional or domestic
And when they will be no longer prevailed upon to stay in England he will no accidents no events preventing of which themselves shall be judges attend them to Italy and if his beloved Wife and Sisters and their Lords shall have made to themselves as he hopes they will an interest in their affections he questions not to prevail on them to be of the party
CH GRANDISON
Monday morn ten oclock
SIR Charles is gone to attend the Count at his Lodgings in pursuance of his request signified by a note last night
Two oclock
THE following Billet is just now brought me
MY dearest Love will have the goodness to excuse my dining with her this day Signor Marsigli and her Everdevoted are hastening to GrosvenorSquare where we shall dine This worthy nobleman deserves pity Adieu my dearest Life
CH GRANDISON
I am all impatience for the issue of these conferences But I will not dine by myself when I can sit down at table with Lady L and Lady Clementina at Lord Ls—and with my Lord himself so much my brother and friend Here therefore will I close this Letter Forgive my everhonoured grandmamma the abruptness of
Your everdutiful HARRIET GRANDISON
Monday March 26
LADY L when I was set down at her house told me that Lady Clementina had been in great agitations on the contents of the proposals left with her She kept her chamber all day yesterday and this morning Lady L had then but just left her I sent up my compliments to her She desired me to walk up She met me on the stairhead in tears and led me into her dressingroom—Have you seen the Chevaliers proposals madam—I owned I had
—Give up for ever said she my scheme my darling scheme for the sake of which I—There she stopt
It was easy to guess what the poor Lady was going to say The subject was too delicate for me to help her out
Dearest Lady Clementina said I be pleased to consider the good it will be in your power to do to hundreds according to the second article if you can comply How much has our dear Friend consulted your beneficent spirit All my fear is that your parents will not subscribe to their part of it If they will what a favourite scheme of their own will they give up
She paused—Then breaking silence—And is it your opinion Lady Grandison Your opinion joined to the Chevaliers—Let me consider—
She took two or three turns about the room Then thinking of Sir Charless intimation of a tour to Italy—With what soothing what consoling hope said she does the nexttodivine man almost conciliate my mind to his measures—And could you would you madam think of going with us to Italy O how flattering are these hints
I should rejoice in such a tour replied I Love me but in your Italy if I should be allowed to go as I do you in our England and I shall be happy in so fine a country as I am told it is But dearest Lady what shall we do to obtain your friends compliance with these articles Shall I cast myself on my knees before your father and mother to beg theirs You in my hand I in yours
Ever good ever noble Lady Grandison—But how first shall I pacify my own heart on yielding to my part of them
Let it not stick there madam Will not Lady Clementina meet them one fourth of the way It is not more
Well I will consider of it I shall hear what they will do Your advice my dear Lady Grandison shall have all the weight with me that a Sisters ought
I attended the summon to dinner She excused herself I took leave of her for the day declaring my intention of going home as soon as I had dined
Monday night
SIR Charles returned with a benevolent joy brightening his countenance He hopes to bring this affair to an issue not unhappy
He was first with the Count of Belvedere who received him with great emotion I apprehended said he that I was to be the sacrifice O Grandison did you but know the hopes the assurances given me by the General by everybody
Sir Charles expatiated on every argument that could compose his mind
Will she promise will she engage that if ever she marry it will be the man before you Chevalier Why did you not make that a stipulation in my favour
I think such a stipulation would be of disadvantage
to your Lordship You would be kept by it in suspence whatever had offered whether in Italy or Spain in both which countries you have considerable connexions If Lady Clementina can be brought to give up the veil it may not be impracticable to induce her in time but time must be given her to favour with her hand a man of your Lordships merit and consequence If otherwise your Lordship unfettered either by hope or obligation will be free to make another choice
Another choice Sir—This to a man who has so long adored her and thro the various turns of her unhappy malady still preserved for her a Love that never any other woman shared in—But if you please we will hear what her father her mother and other friends say to the articles you have drawn up
They went to them After dinner the important subject had a full and solemn consideration
Signor Jeronymo and Mrs Beaumont only at first espoused the proposed plan in all its articles but everybody came into it at last God be praised Now surely the dear Lady must be happy But the poor Count of Belvedere He has not in giving up his inclination such a noble triumph of self-conquering duty as she had to support her in the same arduous trial But then he cherishes a hope that there remains a possibility the Lady still unmarried
Noblest of women Is Harriet a bar—No She is what you generously wished her to be
Tuesday Mar 27
SIR Charles excused himself to Lady Clementina by a few lines last night for not waiting on her yesterday and just as he was setting out to attend her this morning the following note was brought him from Signor Jeronymo the contents designed to strengthen his endeavours to prevail on the Lady to accept his plan
My dearest Grandison
Tuesday morn
YOU will make us all happy if you can prevail upon our beloved Clementina to accept and subscribe to your generous plan as we all most chearfully are ready to do
Restore yourself my dearest Sister this day or tomorrow at furthest to the arms of the most indulgent of parents and to those of the most affectionate of brothers two of us who will answer for our third How impatiently shall we number the hours till the happy one arrives that we all shall receive from the hand of the dearest of friends and best of men a Sister so much beloved
—Ever ever my dear Grandison
Your grateful JERONYMO
O my dearest Lady Clementina noblest of women let your Sister Harriet prevail upon you not to refuse the offered olive branch
Tuesday two oclock
SIR Charles has just now acquainted me that he has prevailed with Lady Clementina Tomorrow afternoon she will throw herself at the feet of her father and mother Rejoice with me my dear grandmamma All my friends rejoice with me congratulate me—Is it not I myself that am going to be restored to the most indulgent parents brothers friends
Let me gratefully add from the information of his aunt Grandison whom he brought home with him that he was so good as to resist entreaty to dine at Lord Ls And why Because as he was pleased to give the reason and was generously commended for it by Lady Clementina that I was alone Lord L proposed to send to request my company He was sure his Sister Grandison would oblige them And I my Lord said Sir Charles am sure she would too But the time is so short that it is not giving one of
the most obliging women in the world an option—Tenderest of husbands Kindest and most considerate of men—He will not subject a woman to the danger of being a refusing Vashti nor yet will give her reason to tremble with a toomeanly mortified Esther
Tuesday evening
As Sir Charles and I were sitting at supper sweetly alone the whole world as it seemed to each other for Mrs Grandison chooses to be at present at Lord Ls and was gone thither the following Billet was brought me written in Italian which thus I English
TOmorrow my dearest Lady Grandison as the Chevalier has no doubt told you the poor fugitive is to be introduced to her parents Pray for her But if I am to have the honour of being looked upon as indeed your Sister you must do more than pray for me Was you in earnest yesterday when you offered your comforting hand to sustain me if I consented to cast myself at the feet of my Father and Mother Lady L is so good as to consent in person to acknowlege the protection she has given me Will you my Sister be my Sister on this awful occasion—Will you lend me your supporting hand—If you as well as Lady L credit the runaway penitent with your appearance in her favour then will she with more courage than can otherwise fall to her share look up to those parents and to those brothers whose indulgent bosoms she has filled with so much anguish Till tomorrow is over she dare not sign the respectable addition to the name of
Tuesday evening
CLEMENTINA
Will I repeated I as soon as I had read it Was I in earnest yesterday—Indeed I was Indeed I will Read it my dearest Sir and give me leave to answer its contents as my amiable Sister wishes
He had looked benignly at his servants and at the door and they withdrew as soon as the billet was brought on my saying From my Lady
Scenes that may be expected to be tender said he will not I hope affect too much the spirits of my angel—But it is a request as kindly made by Clementina as generously complied with by you I will tell you my dear how if the Lady please we will order it After dinner you shall call upon your worthily adopted Sister and take her and Lady L to Grosvenorsquare I will be there to receive her and present her to her friends tho I doubt not but she will meet with a joyful welcome I will acquaint her with this tomorrow morning
Wednesday morn March 28
LADY Clementina approves of my calling upon her and Lady L and of Sir Charless being at GrosvenorSquare ready to receive her I am to attend her about five in the afternoon She is it seems full of apprehensions
Wednesday night Ten oclock
WE are just returned from GrosvenorSquare—Dear Sir I obey you Sir Charles in tenderness to me insists upon my deferring writing till tomorrow The first command he has laid upon me
Thursday morn March 29
NOW for particulars of what passed yesterday Sir Charles is gone to GrosvenorSquare to enquire after the health and composure of his noble guests there
When I called upon Lady Clementina yesterday five oclock I found her greatly distressed with her
own apprehensions I must said she to me be a guiltier creature than I had allowed myself to think I was Why else am I so ashamed so afraid to see parents whom I ever honoured brothers and friends whom I ever loved—O Lady Grandison What a dispiriting thing is the consciousness of having done amiss And to a proud heart too
Then looking upon the written plan Let me see said she what I am to sign These were the remarks she made upon them as she read
1 Hard hard article the first But your Grandison madam my fourth brother my friend my protector tells me that I shall discharge all the obligations he ever laid upon me if I will sign it—I submit
2 How flattering to my pride to my hopes of doing good to the indigent and unhappy
3 Nominating my attendants—my confessor—Kind considerate Grandison If I give up the first wish of my heart I shall not insist upon these stipulations in my favour My parents shall have in these cases affirmative and negative too Indeed I desire not in any article to be independent of them
4 A grateful article I acknowlege Chevalier your protection with gratitude in this stipulation
5 If my friends promise they will perform Ours is a family of untainted honour I hope my Brother Giacomo will be answered for by his Brothers in these articles But he will hate me I fear
Generous Grandison what tempting proposals do you conclude with And you Lady Grandison are so good as to say that my happiness is wanting to complete yours—That is a motive I assure you Lead me madam and do you my dear Lady L my hospitable other protectress oblige me with your countenance too A woman of your honour and goodness Sister of the Chevalier Grandison acknowleging me your guest and answering for my behaviour
will credit the abject Clementina in the eyes of her forgiving relations—Sir Charles Grandison there before me to prepare them to receive graciously the fugitive—Lead me on while I can be led I will attend you
She looked wild and disordered and giving each of us a hand we led her to the coach But at stepping in she trembled faltered and seemed greatly disturbed We consoled her all we could and the coach drove to GrosvenorSquare When it stopt she threw her arms about Lady L and hiding her face in her bosom called upon the Blessed Virgin to support her—How how said she can I look my Father my Mother in the face
Sir Charles on the coach stopping appeared He saw her emotion It is kind my Harriet It is kind Lady L to accompany Lady Clementina—Your goodness will be rewarded in being eyewitnesses of the most gracious reception that ever indulgent parents gave to a long absent daughter
Ah Chevalier was all she could say
Let me conduct you dearest Lady Clementina into a drawingroom where you will see no other person but whom you now see till your recovered spirits shall rejoice the dearest of friends
I was afraid she was too much discomposed to attend to this considerate expedient I repeated therefore what Sir Charles last said She was visibly encouraged by it She gave him her trembling hand and he led her into the prepared drawingroom Lady L and I followed and took our seats on each hand of her Sir Charles his overagainst her Our offered salts and soothing with difficulty kept her from fainting
When she was a little revived—Hush said she with her finger held up and wildness in her looks casting her eyes to the doors and windows in turn They will hear us—Further recovering herself—O
Chevalier said she what shall I say How shall I look What shall I do—And am I am I indeed in the same house with my Father Mother Jeronymo Who else Who else with quickness
It is so ordered my dearest Clementina said Sir Charles in love and tenderness to you that you shall only see your Mother first then your Father—At your own pleasure your Brothers Mrs Beaumont Father Marescotti
Sir Charles was sent for out—Dont dont leave me Sir Then looking to Lady L and then to me—You are all goodness Ladies—Dont leave me
Sir Charles instantly returned Your Mamma madam all indulgence is impatient to fold you to her heart What joy will you give her
He offered his hand She gave him hers motioning for out attendance Sir Charles led her we following into the room where was her expecting Mother The moment each saw the other they ran with open arms to each other O my Mamma—My Clementina—was all that either could say They sunk down on the floor the Mothers arms about the Daughters neck the Daughters about the Mothers waist
Sir Charles lifted them up and seated them close to each other—Pardon Pardon Pardon said the dear Lady hands and eyes lifted up sliding out of her Mothers arms on her knees—But at that moment could say no more
The Marquis not being able longer to contain himself rushed in—My Daughter my Child my Clementina Once more do I see my Child
Sir Charles had halflifted her up when her Father entered She sunk down again prostrate on the floor her arms extended O my Father Forgive—Forgive me O my Father
He raised her up by Sir Charless assistance and seating her between himself and his Lady both again
wrapt their arms about her She repeated prayers for forgiveness in broken accents Blessings in accents as broken flowed from their hearts to their lips
After the first emotions when they could speak and she nowandthen could look up which she did by snatches as it were her eyes presently falling under theirs Behold madam Behold my Lord said she the hospitable Lady to whom—Looking at Lady L Behold looking at me a more than woman an Angel—More she would have said but seemed at a loss for words
We have before seen and admired said the Marquis in Lady Grandison the noblest of all women
He arose to approach us Sir Charles led us both to them
Lady Clementina snatched first my hand and eagerly pressed it with her lips then Lady Ls Her heart was full She seemed to want to speak but could not And Lady L and I with overflowing eyes congratulated the Father Mother Daughter and were blessed in speech by the two former by hands and eyes lifted up by Lady Clementina
Sir Charles then withdrawing returned with the Bishop and Signor Jeronymo It is hard to say whether these two Lords shewed more joy than Clementina did shame and confusion She offered at begging pardon But the Bishop said Not one word of past afflictions Nobody is in fault We are all happy once more and happy on the conditions prescribed to both by this friend of mankind in general and of our family in particular
My ever noble my venerable brother said Jeronymo who had clasped his Sister to his fond heart his eyes running over how I love you for this uncalled for assurance to the dear Clementina Every article of my Grandisons plan shall be carried into execution We will rejoice with the Chevalier in his England—And he and all who are dear to him shall accompany us to Italy We will be all one family
Sir Charles then introduced to the Lady his greatly and justly esteemed Mrs Beaumont Clementina threw herself into her arms Forgive me my dear Mrs Beaumont If you forgive me Virtue will Pardon the poor creature who never never would have so much disgraced your lessons and her mammas example as she has done had not a heavy cloud darkened her unhappy mind Say you forgive me as the best and most indulgent of parents and the kindest of brothers have done
It was not your fault my dear Lady Clementina but your misfortune You never was so much to be blamed as pitied All here are of one sentiment We came over to heal your wounded mind Be it healed and every one will be happy yes more happy perhaps for now we all understand one another,) than if you had not left us to mourn your absence
Blessed be my Comforter my Friend my beloved Mrs Beaumont You always knew how to blunt the keen edge of calamity What a superior woman are you
Father Marescotti was introduced by the Marquis himself with a respect worthy of his piety and goodness I submit Father said Lady Clementina before he could speak to any penance you shall inflict
His voice would not befriend him His action however shewed him to be all joy and congratulation
I have been wicked very wicked continued she—But Mrs Beaumont says and she says justly that I merited pity rather than blame Yet if you think not so you who are the keeper of my conscience spare me not
Who who said the good man recovering speech shall condemn when father mother and brothers so zealous for the honour of their family acquit God forgive you my dearest Lady And God forgive us all
My dearest Chevalier Grandison said Jeronymo
what gratitude what obligations do we owe to you and your admirable Lady and Sisters Again I acknowlege the obligation for a whole family from this hour a happy one I hope
It had been agreed between the family and Sir Charles that not a word should be mentioned to Lady Clementina of the Count of Belvedere They requested Sir Charles to take upon himself the breaking to her that he was in England in his own manner as opportunity should offer
Every one having been greatly affected Sir Charles proposed to take leave and that Lady Clementina should return to Lady Ls for that night as preparation might not have been made for her stay in GrosvenorSquare But all the family with one voice declared they could not part with the restored daughter and sister of their hopes And she herself chearfully consented to stay gratefully however with a bent knee thanking Lady L for her sisterly treatment
Who in the general joy said Sir Charles has remembred the good Camilla Let Camilla congratulate her Lady and all of us on this happy occasion
Everyone called out for Camilla In ran the worthy creature On her knees she embraced her young Ladys and wept for joy Ah my Camilla my friend Camilla said Clementina clasping her arms about her neck I have been cruel to you But it was not I—Alas alas I was not always myself—I will endeavour to repair your wrongs
Thank God that I once more clasp my dear young Lady to my heart—I have no wrongs to complain of
Yes yes you have kind Camilla I wanted to elude your watchful duty and was too cunning to be just to my Camilla
Sir Charles forgot not to commend Laura to forgiveness and favour Laura said Lady Clementina is blameless She obeyed me with reluctance If I am myself forgiven forgive Laura
My dearest Love said the Marchioness we have agreed that you shall choose your own servants The Chevalier we have no doubt had Laura in his thoughts when he made that stipulation the English youth too You my Clementina must have it in your power to do with these as you please
May I be permitted my Lords said Sir Charles to make one request for myself to Lady Clementina a request which shall be consistent with the articles you will all sign
I will agree to a request of yours Chevalier said the Lady be it almost what it will
I will not madam make it today nor tomorrow After the hurry of spirits we have all sustained let tomorrow be a day of composure Permit me to expect you all at dinner with me on Friday The articles then may be signed And then but not before I will mention my request and hope it will be granted
Sir Charless invitation was politely accepted and tomorrow—
Lady Clementina and Mrs Beaumont below—Agreeable surprize
SIR Charles had been out and was just come in when the two Ladies alighted I was overjoyed to see them and to see Lady Clementina serene and seemingly not unhappy We are come said Mrs Beaumont to make our earliest acknowlegements for the happiness restored to a whole family Lady Clementina could not be easy till she had paid her personal thanks to Lady Grandison for the support her presence gave her yesterday
Gratitude said the Lady fills my her But how Chevalier shall I express it I beseech you let me know your request Tell me dear Lady Grandison wherein I can oblige my fourth brother
My dearest Lady Clementina said Sir Charles fortify your heart against a gentle I hope it will then be
but a gentle surprize You have not yet signed your Relations have not I presume the articles to which you have mutually agreed
Sir Chevalier Sir
Let me not alarm you madam
He put one of her hands in mine and took the other in a very tender manner in his
You intend to sign them—They do I am sure Tomorrow when we are all together they will be signed on both sides
I hope so—They will not Chevalier be receded from
They will not madam And hence you will be assured that the Count of Belvedere will never be proposed to you with any degree of urgency
I hope not I hope not said she with quickness
Should you madam on your return to Italy be unwilling to see the Count as a friend of your family as a respecter of your great qualities as a countryman
I shall always regard the Count of Belvedere as a man of honour as a friend of my Brother Giacomo of all our family—But I cannot place him in any other light What means the Chevalier Grandison Keep not my mind in suspense
I will not Your father your mother your brothers came over in hopes that you might be prevailed upon in the Counts favour They have given up that hope—
They have Sir
And will absolutely leave you to your own will to your own wishes on the condition to which you have agreed to sign—But shall I ask you—Were the Count to be in France would you allow him to come over and take leave of your family and you before he sets out for the court of Madrid
What Sir as a man who had hopes from me of more than my good wishes
No madam only as a friend to the whole family—not requesting any other favour now he sees you so determined than your good wishes your prayers for him as you will ever have his for you
I can consent in that view But were any other favour to be hoped from me were my generosity to be expected to be prevailed upon—O Chevalier Lady Grandison Mrs Beaumont Let me not be attempted in this way The articles would be broken This would be persuasion and that compulsion
Nothing madam of this kind is intended The articles will be inviolably observed on the part of your relations But here Mrs Beaumont who never intended to set her foot on the English shore to oblige and comfort your mother is come to England And in the general grief that was occasioned by your absenting yourself if the man who was always deservedly esteemed by your family had accompanied had attended your father your brothers—
Sir Charles stopt and looked at the apprehensive Lady with such a sweet benignity and on her eye meeting his with such tender and downcast modesty all the graces of gentle persuasion are his—
O Chevalier your request your request Tell me in what I can oblige the most obliging of friends of men
I will tell you madam—bowing on the hand he held—Consent if it be not with too much pain to yourself to see the Count of Belvedere
See him Sir How When Where As what
As a friend to your family—a wellwisher to your glory your happiness and as a man ready and desirous to promote the latter at the expence of his own He wishes but while he stays here—
Stays here Sir
To be allowed to visit your family and to see you once twice thrice as you please—but entirely under the conditions of the articles to be signed tomorrow
And is then the Count in England
He is madam He attended his and your friends over He has not once desired to appear in your presence He keeps himself close in private lodgings Hence judge of his resolution not to disturb or offend you He will depart the kingdom without an interview if you will have it so But I could not bear that so good a man should be obliged to depart disgracefully as I may say and as if he were undeserving of pity tho he could not obtain favour
O Chevalier
Secured madam by the articles tho his emotion may be apprehended to be great yours cannot—There is not the same reason for the one as for the other I make it my request that the Count of Belvedere may be allowed as one of the chosen friends of your house but as no more more the articles forbid a place at my table tomorrow
Tomorrow Sir and I at it—
He bowed affirmatively
O how the penetrating man looked into the heart of the Lady at her eyes—As sure us you are alive madam he thought of guessing by her then emotion whether any hopes could distantly lie for the Count by the consequence his presence or absence would give him with her
She paused—At last—And is this Chevalier the request you had to make me
It is madam and if my Harriet had not had the honour of this visit I should have made the same request for his admission in the evening tomorrow—as now I do to dinner
Well Sir I can suspect no doubledealing from Sir Charles Grandison
I ask for no favour for the Count more than I have mentioned madam I am bound by the articles I have drawn as if I were a party to them
Well Sir I consent to see the Count He will
be prudent I hope I shall be so In Italy more than once after you had left it I saw him And I always wished him happy
Now my dearest Sister said Sir Charles my evertoberespected friend I am easy in my mind I could not bear in my thoughts that any-thing I knew which it concerned you to know should be concealed from you
Tears stood in her eyes O madam said she to me God and you only can reward this excellent man for his goodness to me and all the world that know him—You see your influence Chevalier In every way do I wish to shew my gratitude But never never ask me to give my hand in marriage
Ah my dear Lady thought I a tear stealing involuntarily down my cheek the less the less I doubt must you be asked for having before you a man who having no equal you cannot think of any other
The two Ladies hurried away to Lady Ls How sincerely has the friendly heart of dear Lady L been affected in all these tender scenes
Thursday evening March 29
LADY G has sent for me in all haste She is taken ill God give her a happy hour
O my grandmamma there are solemn there are awful circumstances in the happiest marriages She begs to see her brother as well as me I wait for him The Count of Belvedere is with him—They have parted—I am gone
Thursday night
JUST returned All happily over A fine girl—Yet tho a fine one how are the Earl and Lady Gertrude
disappointed—Poor mortals how hard to be pleased
The brave are always humane Sir Charless tender and polite behaviour on this occasion—How does every occurrence endear him to everybody
How dearly does Lord G love his Charlotte Till all was over he was in agonies for her safety His prayers then his thankfulness now how ought they to endear them to his Charlotte And so they must when she is told of his anxiety and of his honest joy or I will not own her for my Sister But in her heart I am sure she loves him Her past idle behaviour to him was but play She will be matronized now The mother must make her a wife She will doubly disgrace herself if she loves her child and can make a jest of her husband
I have just now asked Sir Charles whether if he could prevail on Lady Clementina while they were all with us to give her hand to the Count of Belvedere he would By no means said he and that for both their sakes Lady Clementina has on many occasions shewn that she may be prevailed upon by generous and patient treatment Let the Count have patience If she recover her mind a train of chearful ideas may take place of those melancholy ones which make her desirous of quitting society She will find herself by the articles agreed to in a situation to do more good than it is possible she could do were her inclination to take the veil to be gratified The good she will do will open and enlarge a mind which is naturally noble and she will be grateful for the indulgence given her which will be the means of so happy a change But if the poor Ladys mind be not curable which God forbid who will pity the Count for not being able to obtain her hand—I think my dear I have made him tho not happy easy and I hope he will be able to see her without violent emotions
Friday morn
SIGNORS Sebastiano and Juliano are come back rejoicing that they have been introduced to and kindly received by Lady Clementina
Sir Edward Beauchamp has just left me How happy does the account he gives of my Emilys chearfulness make me I knew you would all love her
Sincerely do I rejoice in the news which my Nancy confirms that Lucy has absolutely rejected the addresses of Mr Greville She startled me once I can tell her A naughty girl what could she mean by it
Wont she give me the particulars under her own hand I shall be afraid of her till she does so much was I impressed by her warmth in the argument she once held with me in his favour as I thought Yet I cordially wish Mr Greville well but my Lucy better Pray madam let me privately know if the proposals from the young Irish peer a whom Nancy praises so much for his sobriety modesty learning and other good qualities were made before or after the rejecting of Mr Greville I halfmistrust the girls who have been disappointed of a first Love Yet Lucys victory over herself was a noble one She is in the way I hope to be rewarded for it God grant it—Think you my dear grandmamma I can be solicitous as I am from the bottom of my heart for the happiness of a newadopted Sister and not be inexpressibly anxious for that of my Lucy the faithful the affectionate friend of my earlier years
Our guests are entering—May the same gracious Providence which has more than answered every wish of your Harriets heart in her own situation shower down its blessings on Lucy on you and all the revered the beloved circle prays my dear grandmamma
Your and their ever dutiful and affectionate HARRIET GRANDISON
Sat March 31
NOW my dear grandmamma let me give you some account of what passed yesterday
The Articles signed and witnessed were put into Lady Clementinas hand and a pen given her that she might write her name in the presence of all her surrounding friends here
Never woman appeared with more dignity in her air and manner She was charmingly dressed and became her dress A truly lovely woman But every one by looks seemed concerned at her solemnity She signed her name but tore off deliberately their names and kissing the torn bit put it in her bosom Then throwing herself on her knees to her father and mother who stood together and presenting the paper to the former; Never let it be said that your child your Clementina has presumed to article in form with the dearest of parents My name stands It will be a witness against me if I break the articles which I have signed But in your forgiveness my Lord in yours madam and in a thousand acts of indulgence I have too much experienced your past to doubt your future goodness to me Your intention my ever honoured parents is your act I pray to God to enable your Clementina to be all you wish her to be In the single Life only indulge me Your word is all the assurance I wish for I will have no other
They embraced her They tenderly raised her between them and again embraced her
I would not methinks Sir said she turning to Sir Charles for the first time see the Count of Belvedere before all this company tho I revere every one in it Is the Count in the house
He is in my Study madam
Will my mamma said she turning to her honour me with her presence
She gave her hand to Sir Charles and took mine—Jeronymo followed her and Sir Charles led her into the next room Too great solemnity in all this whispered the Marquis to Father Marescotti She courtefied invitingly to Mrs Beaumont She also followed her
Sir Charles seating her and the Marchioness by the young Ladys silent permission went into his Study and having prepared the Count to expect a solemn and uncommon reception introduced him He approached her profoundly bowing A sweet blush overspread her cheeks▪ You my Lord of Belvedere said she are one of those my friends to whom I am in some measure accountable for the rash step which brought me into this kingdom because it has induced you to accompany my brothers whom you have always honoured with your friendship—Forgive me for any inconveniencies you have suffered on this occasion
What honour does Lady Clementina do me to rank me in the number of the friends to whom she thinks herself accountable—Believe me madam—
My Lord interrupted she I shall always regard you as the friend of my family and as my friend I shall wish your happiness I do wish your happiness as my own and I cannot give you a better proof that I do than by withholding from you the hand which you have sought to obtain with an unshaken and my friends think an obliging perseverance quite thro an unhappy malady which ought to have deterred you for many sakes and most for your own
My dear mamma throwing herself at her feet forgive me for my perseverance It is not altogether owing I hope it is not at all owing to perverseness and to a wilful resistance of the wills and wishes of all my friends that I have withstood you Two reasons
influenced me when I declined another hand Religion and Country a double reason was one the unhappy malady which had seized me was another Two reasons rising with dignity and turning from her weeping mother also influence me with regard to the Count of Belvedere tho neither of them are the important articles of Religion and Country I own to you before these my dearest friends and let it be told to every one concerned to know it that justice to the Count of Belvedere is one—What a wretch should I be if I gave my hand to a man who had not the preference in my heart which is a husbands due—And should I who had an unhappy reason to refuse one worthy man for his own sake perhaps for the sakes of the unborn I will speak out on this important occasion not be determined to do as much justice to another—In one word I refused to punish the Chevalier Grandison Madam to me you know my story What has the Count of Belvedere done that I should make no scruple to punish him My good Lord be satisfied with my wishes for your happiness I find myself at times very very wrong I have given proofs but too convincing to all my friends that I am not right—While I so think conscience honour justice as I told you once before my good Chevalier compel me to embrace the Single Life—I have in duty to my nearest friends given up the way I should have chosen to lead it in—Let me try to recover myself in their way My dearest dearest mamma again dropping on her knees to her I will endeavour to make all my friends happy in the way they have agreed to make me so Pray for me all my friends—looking round her tears in big drops trickling down her cheeks Then rising Pray for me my Lord of Belvedere I will for you and that you may do justice to the merit of some worthier woman who can do justice to yours
She hurried from us in a way which shewed she
was too much elevated for her corporal powers Sir Charles besought Mrs Beaumont to follow her Mrs Beaumont took my hand
We found the Lady in the Study She was on her knees and in tears She arose at our entrance Each of us hastening to give her a hand O my dear Lady Grandison said she forgive me—My dear Mrs Beaumont am I am I wrong Tell me Have I behaved amiss
We both applauded her Well we might If her greatness be owing to a raised imagination who shall call it a malady Who but for the dear Ladys own sake would regret the nexttodivine impulse by which on several occasions she has shewn herself actuated
She suffered herself to be led to her mother who embracing her Clementina again kneeling to her My dearest child my blessed daughter we all of us while such are your apprehensions must acquiesce with your reasons Be happy my Love in your own magnanimity I glory in my child
And I in my Sister said the noble Jeronymo—Saint Angel kneeling to her on one knee notwithstanding his lameness I next to adore my Sister
She called him her brother her true brother Then taking my hand And will you Lady Grandison said she be my Sister Shall Sir Charles Grandison be my Brother Will you return with us into Italy Shall we cultivate on both sides a familyfriendship to the end of our lives
I threw my arms about her neck tears mingling on the cheeks of both It will be my ambition my great ambition to deserve the distinction you give me—My Sister my Friend the Sister of my best Friend love him as he honours you and me for his sake as I will you for your own as well as his to the end of my life
Sir Charles clasped his arms about us both His
eyes spoke his admiration of her and his delight in each Angels he called us Then seating us he took the Counts hand and leading him to her Let me madam present to you the Count of Belvedere as a man equally to be pitied and esteemed He yields to your magnanimity with a greatness of mind like your own Receive then acknowlege the friend in him He will endeavour to forego a dearer hope
Then will I receive him as my friend I thank you my Lord for the honour you have so long done me May you be happy with a woman who can deserve you—See that happy pair before you May you be as happy as Sir Charles Grandison—What greater felicity can I wish you
He took her hand On one knee he lifted it to his lips I will tear from you madam a tormentor I must ask nothing of you but for myself I can only promise in the words of the Chevalier Grandison to endeavour to forego a dearer the dearest hope
The Count arose bowing to her with profound respect his eyes full as his heart seemed to be Signor Jeronymo motioned to return to the company Lady Clementina wished to retire with me till what had passed was related to the rest I led her to my closet There did we renew our vows of everlasting friendship
Sir Charles thinking the relation would be painful to the Count withdrew with him into his Study Mrs Beaumont and Signor Jeronymo told those who were not present at the affecting scenes what had passed
When we were summoned to dinner every one received Lady Clementina as an Angel They applauded her for her noble behaviour to the Count and blessed themselves for having taken the resolution of coming to England and most of all they blessed my dear Sir Charles to whom they ascribed all their opening
happy prospects and promised themselves that his family and theirs would be as much one as if the alliance once so near taking place had actually done so
Sir Charles at and after dinner urged the carrying into execution the latter part of his beneficent plan He offered to attend them to the Drawingroom to the Play to the Oratorios and took that opportunity to give the praises which everybody allows to be due to Mr Handel and to every place of Public Entertainment which was worthy the notice of Foreigners and left it to their choice whether they would go first to Grandisonhall or satisfy their curiosity in and about town
The Marquis said that as Sir Charles and I were brought out of the country by the arrival of their Clementina and our expectation of them he doubted not but it would be most agreeable to us to return to our own seat adding politely that the highest entertainment they could have would be the company and conversation of us and our friends and that rather at our own seats than anywhere else The public diversions he was pleased to say might take their attention afterwards Now they were here they would not be in haste to return provided Sir Charles and his friends would answer the hope he had given of accompanying them back to Italy
There is no repeating the polite and agreeable things that were said on all sides
Well then my dear grandmamma to cut short thus it was at last agreed upon
The Count of Belvedere who all the afternoon and evening received the highest marks of civility and politeness from the admirable Clementina which by the way I am afraid will not promote his cure proposes with Signors Sebastiano and Juliano to pass a month or six weeks in seeing everything which they shall think worthy of their notice in and about this great city and then after one farewelvisit to us
they intend to set out together for the Court of Madrid where the Count intends to stay some months
We shall all set out on Monday next for Grandisonhall
Lord and Lady L will follow us in a week or fortnight
How will the poor dear Charlotte mutter whispered Lady L to me But she and her Lord will join us as soon as possible
Mrs Eleanor Grandison loves not the Hall because of the hardships she received from the late owner of it Sir Thomas and thinks herself bound by a rash vow which she made the last time she was there Never again to enter its gates And she will be delighted Lady L says in attending in the absence of the fathers and mothers the dear little infants of her two nieces
Lady Clementina whispered me more than once how happy she should think herself in these excursions and hoped all their healths would be established by them She said the sweetest the most affectionate things to me Once she said bidding me call her nothing but my Clementina that she should be happy if she were sure I loved her as much as she loved me I assured her and that from my very heart that I dearly loved her
Surely it was a happy incident my dear grandmamma that Lady Clementina took a step which tho at first it had a rash appearance has been productive of so much joy to all round to the poor Count of Belvedere excepted and in particular to
Your everdutiful evergrateful HARRIET GRANDISON
Grandisonhall Monday April 9
HOW happy my dear Lady G are we all of us here in one another! How happy is your Harriet—And yet when you can come and partake of my felicity it will be still enlarged
I have just now received a Letter from Lucy The consents as you will see for I shall inclose it are a conversation that passed a few days ago at Shirleymanor upon a subject of which you are a better judge than your Harriet In short it is a call upon you as I interpret it to support your own doctrine by which in former Letters you have made some of the honestest girls in England halfashamed to own a first passion You know how much I am at present engaged I would not have the dear girls neglected Answer the Letter therefore for me and for yourself yet remember that I do not engage to abide implicitly by your determination Ever ever my Charlotte
Your most affectionate HARRIET GRANDISON
Inclosed in the preceding
Thursday April 3
EVERY hour in the day some circumstance or other makes me wish my dear Lady Grandison in Northamptonshire Emily charms us all—But still every object reminds us of our Harriet Not that Harriet alone would content us now Nor could Sir Charles and Lady Grandison be at this time spared by their noble guest After all therefore everything
is best as it is But indeed we all wished for you yesterday evening most particularly at Shirleymanor The conversation was an interesting one to all us girls and Emily Nancy and our cousin Holless have brought me to give you an account of it and to appeal to you upon it and through you to Lady G And yet we are all of us more than half afraid of a Lady who has already treated but lightly a subject that young women think of high importance
The conversation began with my cousin Kittys greatly pitying Lady Clementina describing in her pathetic way the struggles she had had between her first duties and her inclination the noble preference she had given to the former; and the persecution as she called it of all her friends to induce her to marry when she chose to live single all her life Every one of us young folks joined with my cousin Kitty
But your grandmamma Shirley could not she said perfectly agree with us in the hardship of Lady Clementinas situation who having from noble motives spontaneously rejected the man of her choice was from reasons of family convenience and even of personal happiness urged to marry a nobleman who by all accounts is highly deserving and agreeable and everyway suitable to her A man in short to whom she pretended not an aversion nor hoped nor wished to be the wife of any other man proposing to herself only the Single Life and having given up all thoughts of taking the veil
Personal happiness cried out Miss Kitty Holles Can the woman be happy in a second choice whose first was Sir Charles Grandison
And whom for noble motives she refused said my aunt Selby remember that Kitty and whom she wished to be and who actually is the husband of another woman
The girls looked at one another: But Mrs Shirley speaking they were all silent
The happiness of human Life my dears replied your grandmamma is at best but comparative The utmost we should hope for here is such a situation as with a self-approving mind will carry us best through this present scene of trial Such a situation as all circumstances considered is upon the whole most eligible for us tho some of its circumstances may be disagreeable
Young people set out with false notions of happiness gay fairyland imaginations and when these schemes prove unattainable sit down in disappointment and dejection Tell me now Kitty Holles and speak freely my Love She would not address herself to some of us for a reason I your Lucy for one need not give we are all friends the gravest of us have been young tell us Kitty your ideas of happiness for a young woman just setting out in Life
Poor Emily answered only with a sudden blush and a halfstifled sigh But all the rest as with one voice cried out Harriet our Harriet is the happy woman—To be married to the man of her choice The man chosen by her friends and applauded by all the world
And so said Mrs Selby as there is but one Sir Charles Grandison in the world were his scheme of Protestant Nunneries put in execution all the rest of womankind who had seen him with distinction might retire into cloisters
Were men to form themselves by his example said Emily No unfavourable hint for Sir Edward—There she stopt
Besides said I my own case in view when our eye has led our choice imagination can easily add all good qualities to the plausible appearance But to give our hand where we cannot give a preference is surely madam acting against conscience in the most important article of Life
A preference we ought to give my Lucy But need this be the preference of giddy inclination No
version presupposed will not reason and duty give this preference in a securer and nobler way to the man who upon the whole is most suitable to us It is well known that I was always for discouraging our Harriets declarations that she never would be the wife of any other man than him she is now so happy as to call hers If as we all at one time apprehended our hopes had been absolutely impracticable the noble Countess of D who gave such convincing reasons on her side of the question awould have had my good wishes for the Earl of D So before him had not ill health been an objection would Mr Orme You all know that I wished but to live to see my Harriet the wife of some worthy man A single woman is too generally an undefended unsupported creature Her early connexions year by year drop off no new ones arise and she remains solitary and unheeded in a busy bustling world perhaps soured to it by her unconnected state Is not some gratitude due to a worthy man who early offers himself for her guide and protector through Life Gratitude was the motive even of Harriets inclination at first
Nancy smiled Why smiles my Nancy asked your smiling grandmamma I am sure you think child▪ there is weight in what I said
Indeed madam there is—Great weight—But just as you gave us an idea of the dreary unconnected Life of a single woman in years I thought of poor Mrs Penelope Arby You all know her I saw her in imagination surrounded with parrots and lapdogs—So springlike at past fifty with her pale pink Lutestring and back head—Yet so peevish at girls—
And she resumed Mrs Shirley refused some good offers in her youth out of dread of the tyranny of a husband and the troublesomeness of a parcel of Brats—Yet now she is absolutely governed by a favourite maid and as full of the Bonmots of her parrots
as I used to be of yours my Loves when you were prattlers
Yet let us not said Mrs Selby with the insolence of Matrons or Bridesexpectant be too severe upon Old Maids Lady G▪ surely is faulty in this particular Many worthy and many happy persons in that class have I known Many amiable and useful in society even to their latest age—You madam to Mrs Shirley had a friend—Mrs Eggleton
I had my dear Mrs Selby—Never has any length of time any variety of scene at all effaced the dear idea tho she died many years ago She never married but that was not her own fault She was addressed when near twenty by a young gentleman of unexceptionable character She received his addresses on condition that both their friends approved of them She was a visiter in town The relations of both lived in the country The young couple loved each other But neither of their families when consulted approving the match to the great regret of both it was broken off The gentleman married and was not unhappy In three or four years another worthy man made his addresses to Mrs Eggleton All her friends approved She found him deserving of her affection and agreed to reward his merit He was to make one voyage to the Indies on prospects too great to be neglected and on his return they were to be married His voyage was prosperous to the extent of all his wishes He landed in his native country flew to his beloved mistress She received his visit with grateful joy It was his last visit He was taken ill of a violent fever died in a few days delirious but blessing her
She and I have talked over the subject we are upon a hundred times In those days I was young and had my romantic notions
Indeed madam said Patty Holles Indeed madam said Emily—Dear dear madam said Kitty
Holles if it be not too bold a request let us hear what they were
The reading in fashion when I was young was Romances You my children have in that respect fallen into happier days The present age is greatly obliged to the authors of the Spectators But till I became acquainted with my dear Mrs Eggleton which was about my sixteenth year I was overrun with the absurdities of that unnatural kind of writing
And how long madam did they hold
Not till I was quite twenty That good Lady cured me of so false a taste But till she did I had very high ideas of first impressions of eternal constancy of Love raised to a pitch of idolatry In these dispositions not more than nineteen was my dear Mr Shirley proposed to me as a person whose character was faultless his offers advantageous I had seen him in company two or three times and looked upon him merely as a good sort of man a sensible man—But what was a good sort of man to an Oroondates He had paid no addresses to me He applied to my friends on a foot of propriety and prudence They laid no constraint upon me I consulted my own heart—But my dear girls what a temptation have you thrown in the way of narrative old age
All of us most eagerly besought her to go on
The excellent Mrs Eggleton knew my heart better than I did myself Even now said she you dislike not this worthy man You can make no reasonable objection to his offer You are one of many Sisters We were then a numerous family—Alas how many dear friends have I out lived A match so advantageous for you will be of real benefit to your whole family Esteem heightened by Gratitude and enforced by Duty continued she will soon ripen into Love The only sort of Love that suits this imperfect state a tender a faithful affection There
is a superior ardor due only to Supreme perfection and only to be exercised by us mortal creatures in humble devotion My dear Henrietta concluded she condescend to be happy in such a way as suits this mortal state
I replied to her with distress of mind proceeded Mrs Shirley that I could not depend upon my own sentiments I had seen little of the world Suppose after I have vowed Love to a man quite indifferent to me I should meet with the very one the kindred soul who must irresistably claim my whole heart I will not suspect myself of any possibility of misconduct where the duty and the crime would be so glaring but must I not in such a case be for ever miserable
The mild Mrs Eggleton did not chide She only argued with me Often afterwards did I with delight repeat this conversation to the best of men my dear Mr Shirley when a length of happy years had verified all she said
Dear madam cried Kitty tell us how she argued or we shall all remain on your side of the question
O my children said the venerable parent in what talkativeness do you engage me
I fear Henrietta said Mrs Eggleton that tho you are a good christian your opinions in this point are a little heathenish You look upon Love as a blind irresistable Deity whose darts fly at random and admit neither defence nor cure Consider the matter my dear in a more reasonable light The passions are intended for our servants not our masters and we have within us a power of controuling them which it is the duty and the business of our lives to exert You will allow this readily in the case of any passion that poets and romance writers have not set off with their false colourings To instance in anger Will my Henrietta own that she thinks it probable anger should ever transport her beyond the bounds of duty
I pleaded that I was not naturally of an angry temper and was asked with a smile whether I meant by that distinction to own myself of a loving one
I could not be angry with my good Mrs Eggleton yet I remember I was vexed to the heart
But why then rejoined she should you think yourself more likely to fall in Love after you are married than before
At least said I a little peevishly let me stay till I am in Love as you are pleased to call it before I marry
I would not by any means replied she have you marry a man for whom you have not a preferable inclination but why may you not find on admitting Mr Shirleys addresses young agreeable worthy and every way suitable to you as he is that he is that man whom your inclination can approve
I never saw him yet said I with the least emotion I have no aversion to him I might esteem him But what is that to the Love one is so solemnly to vow a husband And should I after that vow behold an object whom I could indeed have loved—
A Duke de Nemours said she taking up the Princess of Cleves that unluckily lay on my table—Ah my Henrietta have I found you out—That princess my dear was a silly woman Her story is written with dangerous elegance but the whole foundation of her distresses was an idle one To fansy herself in Love with a mere stranger because he appeared agreeable at a Ball when she lived happily with a worthy husband was mistaking mere Liking for Love and combating all her Life after with a chimera of her own creating I do not tell you it is impossible for you to meet hereafter with persons in some external accomplishments superior to the deserving man whose wish is to make you happy But will you suffer your eye to lead you into misery then when
an additional tie of duty forbids its wandering If so I must suppose it would equally mislead you now Tell me Henrietta What think you of those girls who blast all the hopes of their fond parents by eloping with a welldrest captain a spruce dancingmaster or a handsome player
She struck me dumb with shame
You see then my dear the filial duty the duty of a reasonable and modest woman were she even without parents or friends forbids fancy to be her guide as much as the sacred engagement of marriage forbids it to be her tormenter
But have there not been instances said I do not you and I know one We did in this neighbourhood where a truly good woman was made miserable for years by having her heart and hand differently engaged
Mrs Eggleton reminded me that there were in that case such extremely particular circumstances as made it absurd to form from thence a general judgment In almost every thing said she we act but upon probabilities and one exception out of a thousand ought never to determine us Even this exception in the case you hint at is owing in some measure to a pitiable misguided imagination Let us take our rules my dear from plain common sense and not from poetical refinements
Say my children said the condescending parent did my friend argue well
I think madam answered Kitty she argued poor Love out of doors She did not seem to allow the possibility of any persons being in Love at all
I told her so replied my grandmamma
So far from it said she with a sigh and a look expressive of the softest tenderness that my own affections as you know were deeply engaged The amiable youth to whom I was to be united by marriage died His memory will ever be dear to my
heart Love authorized by reasonable prospects Love guided and heightened by duty is everything excellent that poets have said of it Yet even this Love must submit to the awful dispensations of Providence whether of death or other disappointment and such trials ought to be met with chearful resignation and not to be the means of embittering our lives or of rendering them useless And every thing we ought to do be assured my dear we shall be enabled to do if we set about it rightly and with equal humility and trust As for that kind of Love which in its very beginning is contrary to Duty to suppose that unconquerable is making ourselves wretched indeed And for firstsight impressions and beginning inclinations though always dangerous and often guilty to indulge they are absolutely trifles to overcome and suppress to a person of prudence and virtue
How we dwelt upon every sweet document that fell from the lips of the dear Mrs Shirley
But now Harriet for the appeals After all were you or were you not a romantic girl when you declared that you never would be the wife of any man living if you were not Sir Charles Gaandisons even at the time when neither you nor we thought there could be any hopes of such a happy event—
But had we not however better appeal to Lady G than to you You were always so wise—Yet you could not be contented with the worthy Orme You knew instinctively as I may say that your kindred mind dwelt in St Jamess Square And Lady G forty years hence will be looking back I suppose with wonder on the time when she gave her then fair hand of swanskin changed to buff Her own slighty idea with reluctance to her deserving Lord So perhaps we had best make no appeals at all If we did neither you nor she are at leisure now to answer them Yet we have one appeal more to make but
it must be to our Harriet not to Lady G—Was not even our venerable parent a little too severe upon Old Maids That wicked Nancy fell a laughing—Does she know what may be her own case Here is a great parcel of girls of us—Have not I her Elder been crossed in Love already But if no proper match ever offers must we take an improper one to avoid the ridicule of a mere name An unsupported state is better than an oppressed a miserable one however And how many rashlychosen husbands and repentant wives could I set against Nancys Mrs Arby—But the post is just going out so that far from entering on so copious a subject I have barely time to add that I am with the truest affection my dearest creature
Your faithful LUCY
Thursday April 12
I AM very well—Whats the matter with the woman—I will write—Fifteen days controul and candle—Why surely—
They are impertinent my dear and would take my pen and ink from me—
YOU do well Harriet to throw upon me your selfcondemning task
How conscious you are when you tell me before you know my opinion of the contents of Lucys Letter that you will not subscribe implicitly to my determination—But I will not spare you In my condemnation of them read your own I have written my answer and shall inclose it and no more at present trouble myself about them
But here I Charlotte G who married with indifference
the poor Lord G who made the honest man whenever I pleased foam fume fret and execrate the hour that he first beheld my face now stand forth an example of true conjugal felicity and an encouragement for girls who venture into the married state without that prodigious quantity of violent passion which some harebrained creatures think as essential of Love
You my dear left us tolerably happy But now we are almost intolerably so I had begun to recover my spirits depressed as they had been for near a month before on finding myself like any common woman confined to my chamber while every other mouth sang O be joyful and one was preparing another was set out and half a score more were actually got to dear Grandisonhall I bit my lip and raved at the wretch to whom I attributed my durance When yesterday after a series indeed of the most obliging and most grateful behaviour that a man ever expressed for a Present made him which he holds invaluable he entered my chamber and surprised me as I did him for I intended that he should know nothing of the matter nor that I would ever be so condescending surprised me as how Ah Harriet In an act that confessed the mother the whole mother—Little Harriet at my breast or at my neck I believe I should say—should I not
The nurse the nurserymaids knowing that I would not for the world have been so caught by my nimble Lord for he is in twenty places in a minute were more affrighted than Dianas nymphs when the goddess was surprised by Acteon and each instead of surrounding me in order to hide my blushes was for running a different way not so much as attempting to relieve me from the Brat
I was ready to let the little Leech drop from my arms—O wretch screamed I—Begone—begone Whence the boldness of this intrusion
Never was man in a greater rapture For Lady Gertrude had taught him to wish that a mother would be a mother He threw himself at my feet clasping me and the little varlet together in his arms Brute said I will you smother my Harriet—I was halfashamed of my tenderness—Dearest dearest dearest Lady G—Shaking his head between every dear and est every muscle of his face working how you transport me—Never never never saw I so delightful a sight Let me let me let me every emphatic word repeated three times at least behold again the dear sight Let me see you clasp the precious gift our Harriets Harriet too to that lovely bosom—The wretch trembling however pulled aside my handkerchief I tryd to scold but was forced to press the little thing to me to supply the place of the handkerchief—Do you think I could not have killed him—To be sure I was not half angry enough I knew not what I did you may well think—for I bowed my face on the smiling infant who crowed to the pressure of my lips
Begone Lord G said I—See see how shall I hold the little Marmouset if you devour first one of my hands then the other
He arose took the little thing from me kissed its forehead its cheeks its lips its little pudsey hands first one then the other gave it again to my arms took it again and again resigned it to me
Take away the pug said I to the attendants—Take it away while any of it is left—They rescued the still smiling babe and run away with it
My Lord then again threw himself at my feet—Pardon pardon me dearest creature said he that I took amiss any thing you ever said or did—You that could make me such rich amends—O let not those charming charming spirits ever subside which for a fortnight together till yesterday I missed I loved you too well proceeded he to take any usage that was
not quite what I wished it lightly But for some time past I have seen that it was all owing to a vivacity that now in every instants of it delights my soul You never never had malice or illnature in what I called your petulance You bore with mine You smiled at me Henceforth every thing you say every thing you do will I take for a favour O my Charlotte Never never more shall it be in your power to make me so far forget myself as to be angry
My dear Lord G—I had like to have said—I believe I did say—Then will you ruin absolutely ruin me What shall I do—for my Roguery—
Never never part with what you call so—
Impossible my Lord to retain it if it lose its wonted power over you I shall have a new lesson to learn O my Lord why began you not this course before Harriet and Caroline set out for Grandisonhall I might by a closer observation of their behaviour have made myself mistress of lessons that would have far more delightfully supplied the old ones than can be done without their examples But my Lord the time will soon come when we shall be allowed to fly to that benefit at Grandisonhall Our little Harriet shall go with us The infant is the cement between us and we will for the future be every day more worthy of that and of each other
My Lord hurried from me in speechless rapture His handkerchief at his eye—Nurse said I bring me again our precious charge I will be all the mother I clasped it to my bosom What shall I do my little Harriet Thy father sweet one has run away with my Roguery—
What a scene is here—I will not read it over If it requires a blush do you my dear blush for me I am hardened—And shall not perhaps were I to reperuse it my maternity so kindly acknowleged so generously accepted by my Lord G be able to blush for myself
But that I may seem only to have changed the object, not wholly to have parted with my levity read the inclosed here in answer to the appeal of the young people directed thus
Lady G To Miss LUCY SELBY And the rest of the Girls at Selbyhouse
Greeting
YOU appeal to Harriet and revoke your appeal You appeal to me and withdraw it in the same Letter—a parcel of chits You know not what you would have what you would be and hardly what you are You can have the sauciness in more places than one to reflect upon me your judge But are you not convinced by the solid arguments of Mrs Shirley and her Mrs Eggleton If you are not what strange creatures are girls from sixteen to twentytwo Dont boys read romances as well as girls Yet in these latter days do the glaring absurdities influence them so much in Lovematters or last so long Foolish things would you give a preference against yourselves to the other Sex
Harriet I think was a romantic girl when she made her declarations of one man only or no one for a husband I did let her know my mind at the time by hints But had my brother actually married Clementina not only I but her grandmother Shirley and aunt Selby and uncle too odd soul as he is in some things would have spoken out in favour of the young Earl of D And had it not been with success after a proper time had passed I for my part would have set her down as a very silly girl inferior in this respect to you Lucy and to twenty more I could name For how few of us are there who have their first Loves And indeed how few first Loves are fit to be encouraged You know my thoughts Lucy
of a beginning Love in a young bosom a—A very very silly and childish affair believe me
Let me enumerate a few chances that may render a first Love impracticable
A young woman may fix her affections on a man who may prove persidious—On a man who may be engaged to another woman as had like to have been my brothers case—On a man who may be superior to her in degree or fortune or who may be greatly inferior to her in both—If Love be not a voluntary passion why not upon an hostler a groom a coachman a footman—A grenadier a trooper a footsoldier—She may be in Mrs Eggletons case Her Lover may be taken from her by death In either or any of these cases what is to be done Must a woman sit down cry herself blind and become useless to the principal end of her being as to this life and to all family connexions when probably she has not lived one third of her time—Silly creatures—to maintain these nonsenses at their own expence in favour of a passion that is generally confined to the days of girlhood and which they themselves would laugh at in a woman after she was arrived at honest thirty or at years of discretion—Thus narrowing their own use and consequence—I for my part am and ever will be a friend of my Sex
But hark ye girls—Let me ask you—Do you find many of these constant nymphs when they have had their foolish way given them and they have buried the honest man of whom they were once so dotingly fond refuse to marry again—Do they wish like the wives of some Pagan wretches to be thrown into the funeral pile with the dead bodies of their Lords—No They have had their whimsey out Their Fit of constancy is over and quiet good souls as they are by that time become they go on without Rantipoling in the ordinary course of reasonable creatures
Not but Harriet was in earnest I am sure she was She believed she certainly believed HERSELF And were it given to us women always to be in one mind she would have made all her friends the good Mrs Shirley at the head of us despair of succeeding with her in our endeavours to induce her to change it But Harriet with all her wisdom could not know what Time would have done for her Time is the pacifier of every woe the qualifier of every disappointment—Pity for the man the Earl of D suppose—He would have thought it worth his while to feign dying for her the Entreaty of her friendsYou see what arguments her excellent grandmamma could have produced—Pho pho never fear but Harriet would have married before my Brother and Clementina had seen the face of their second boy—No girls shall he have for fear they should be Romancers
And do you think that Clementina and the Count of Belvedere a year or two hence—I have no fear of the matter if they do not teaze torment oppose her If they do—Why then I will not be answerable for their success For with excellences that none but she and Harriet among women ever boasted there is a glorious perverseness which they miscall constancy and perseverance in the mind of that noble Lady and indeed in the minds of most of us that will probably as it has already done carry her thro all opposition—In short no more teazing tormenting from Friends no more heroics from Girls—Is not opposition is not resistance the very soul and essence of all sorts of heroism—My life therefore for Clementinas admirable creature as she undoubtedly is—Leave her searoom leave her landroom and let her have time to consider and she will be a Bride
Did I ever mention to you a trick that an honest guardian put upon his ward Many a one have you heard of from dishonest ones This briefly was it
The girl was of the heroic stamp as good a girl
as an heroic girl could well be A match was proposed for her much more considerable than she could have expected as to fortune and as to the mans person and qualities of mind absolutely unexceptionable—Young handsome gallant and most ardently in Love with her But unpolitic he had let her know as much before he had made himself sure of the shadow of a return or acceptance Her guardian from pure Love of his ward and a sense of the advantageousness of the offer heartily espoused the interests of the young gentleman This was another unhappiness to him She gave him an absolute denial Nor vouchsafed she to assign a reason for it having indeed no other man either in her head or heart
Her guardian was a man who knew the world and a little of her Sex He saw that Miss was in the very meridian of her heroics and that the grievance most probably was that there was no likelihood of difficulty or opposition He took another course He acquainted the young Lady that he had altered his mind That he had objections to the address of Sir Arthur Poinings the young gentlemans name and declared that he never would give his consent He desired that she would by no means see him or receive Letters from him and he talked of carrying her down to his countryseat in a full townseason The girl had a taste for pleasure—What girl has not not doubting he said that the young Baronet would persecute her with his addresses while she remained in London He then actually forbid Sir Arthur his house and more than once read Miss a Lecture on the Authority of a guardian and the Duty of a ward Words that naturally incite young girls to rebellion
Sir Arthur sound means to write to the minx as if unknown to her guardian Darts flames and distresses were suggested in his Letter The girl began to relent the guardian to suspect He renewed
his prohibition cunning creature The affair now wore a face of difficulty She answered the young gentlemans Letters It became a regular Loveaffair of the heroic kind And at last—What at last—Why the young Lady attended only by her faithful DELIA who had been assistant to the Lovers in their correspondence ran away from an inexorable guardian to Sir Arthur married him and in a few days writing an humble Letter for her cloaths acknowleged rashness which she laid at the door of Love and soforth The guardian desired a meeting with the Loveyers now no more Loveyers but man and wife They met with trembling on her side with pretended apprehension on Sir Arthurs for having disobliged so good a guardian The guardian was in high goodhumour He forgave them both at the first word and surrendered up his trust with pleasure The girl was surprized at his unexpected goodness and had she not been actually nailed down by the Solemnity would very probably have again resumed her heroics
Well but I am charmed with Mrs Shirleys Eggleton as well as with her account of herself in her heroic days Little did I think that she ever was girl enough to be infected But as she says romances were the fashionable reading of her youthful years
Tell aunt Selby that I am not an enemy to old maids but only to those ill qualities which I should equally dislike in old or in young Anybodies I love Lady Gertrude and even aunt Eleanor for those qualities that are loveable in them But you see that your Nancy the mild goodnatured Nancy could not forbear laughing at the idea of the youngold Penelope Arby Yet knows she not says the malicious Lucy what may be her own case But I have appealed for you and to whom To Lady Gertrude I was writing to her on a particular occasion when your
pacquet was brought me and in order to enliven my subject transcribed three lines of Lucys query upon defending the single state She was but at Enfield and returned me the following by the same messenger the other part of my Letter requiring an immediate answer
Your question my dearest niece is whimsically asked You tell me that a whole roomfull of young country ladies wait only the success of an appeal you have referred to me to know whether they shall out of hand dispose of themselves to recruiting officers mountebanks and foxhunters or venture to live on with the melancholy title of old maids in an unsupported undesended state
One or two queries to be put proceeds the Sage are Whether the worthy matches you have mentioned or any unsuitable matches whatsoever would be a support and defence Whether the woman who makes a rash and improper choice does not throw herself out of that protection and defence which every one may depend upon in the state of life marked out to them by Providence And whether the single state is not thus marked out to the woman who never has it fitly in her choice to change it
I my dear who am an old maid must not write partially on that side of the question In general I will fairly own that I think a woman is most likely to find her proper happiness in the married state May you my dear niece experience it every day more and more—But there are surely many exceptions Women of large and independent fortunes who have the hearts and understanding to use them as they ought are often more beneficial to the world than they would have been had they bestowed them on such men as look for fortune only Women who have by their numerous relations many connexions in the world need not
seek out of their own alliances for protection and defence Ill health peculiarity of temper or sentiments unhappiness of situation of person afford often such reasons as make it a virtue to refuse what it would otherwise be right to accept
But why do I write seriously to such a lively creature Only my dear
—
But girls I will give you no more of Lady Gertrude I have not done with you myself yet
Much to the same purpose I remember as Mrs Shirleys were the expostulations of Lady D in one of her Letters to Harriet who only answered her I also remember like a girl What could she say
You my Harriet wrote that Lady are pious dutiful benevolent—Cannot you if you are unable to entertain for the man who now with so much ardour addresses you were you married to him the passion called Love regard him as Gratitude would oblige you to prefer any other man who is assiduous to do you service or pleasure Cannot you shew him as much goodwill as you could any other man whom it was in your power to make happy Would you esteem him less than a person absolutely a stranger to you The exertion of your native benevolence of your natural obligingness of your common gratitude of your pity is all that is asked of you You have no expectation of the only man who is dearer to you than he This exertion will make my Lord happy and if you retain that delight which you have hitherto taken in promoting the happiness of others who are not undeserving yourself not unhappy
You have now before you girls the opinion of Mrs Shirley and the Countess of D on the ease you put They both sit enthroned on the serene hill of wisdom which hardly one in fifty of their Sex attains From thence they look down with pity and with beckoning singer to the crowds below them who
with aching eyes and despairing hearts emulate their starry heights but in too faintly attempting to gain the ascent tumble down some shameful head over heels immersed in the miry puddles of sense; and others taking a supposed more easy tho visibly run roundabout way are misled by mazy paths into dreary desarts till they lose even the distant sight of the sacred hill
There chits I end romantically figuratively at least in compliment to your fanciful tastes And thus much as to you girls young Ladyexpectants whimsicals and so forth from
Your CHARLOTTE G
Friday Saturday April 13 14
My women are so impertinent and my Marmouset is so voracious that I have been forced to take two days for what once I could have performed in little more than two hours
Grandisonhall Monday April 16
AND must I my dear grandmamma be more particular in relation to ourselves our guests our amusements diversions conversations—Why then does not Lucy write as usual every tender every engaging every lively occurrence that happens at Selbyhouse and Shirelymanor Is she so much taken up with her agreeable Peer that she must leave the obliging task wholly to Nancy and Emily I dont care They shall be my best girls and I will put down my Lucy as a woman of mere quality before she has the title Yet let me tell her that could honest Mr Fowler have courted for himself have suffered
his heart to rise to his lips I should have wished by her means to have been related to him and Sir Rowland But that matter it seems is as good as over and I will proceed to do my duty whether she does hers or not
I have told you madam how much our guests are pleased with us and the place How much we are charmed with them I need not tell you Every praise you have heard of them is confirmed and heightened on a more intimate knowlege of them
Lord and Lady L are with us Lord and Lady G will come as soon as they can Lady L has her sweet infant with her And I hope Lady G will not come without my godchild
Sir Edward Beauchamp is at present our guest The good doctor you know is at home here and how beloved how revered by every one
Sir Charles The Soul of us all—O madam never surely was one spot blessed with so many persons of one mind as are now rejoicing together at Grandisonhall
And pray my dear grandmamma let me ask Would it not be affectation rather than modesty were I to leave myself unnamed in this noble circle I will not Every body for Sir Charless sake looks on me with the kindest partiality and my heart tells me that being his as much as my own it deserves that partiality
Except at certain devotional hours of retirement we know not but that we are all of one faith Nothing of religious subjects is ever mentioned among us but in those points in which all good Christians are agreed You madam who have a true catholic charity for the worthy of all persuasions would be delighted to see the affectionate behaviour of the two fathers I will call them to each other When they are not in the general company they are always together walking riding out or in the apartment of
each other reading conversing The dear Clementina cannot but see that charitable and great minds however differing in some even essential articles of religion might mingle hearts and love each other and from Sir Charless catholicism that she might have been happy with him and kept her own faith—But no it would in her notion now I recollect have been a dangerous trial She could not trust her own heart—Great and noble Lady how much is she to be revered
The gentlemen ride out almost every day—Our conversations It would be endless to give you an account of the conversations that yet I flatter myself would delight you all The least interesting ones of those we hold would have made a great figure in my former Letters Such the company you may suppose we know not what trifling subjects are
Every one avoids mentioning the name of the poor Count of Belvedere in the presence of Lady Clementina yet we all pity him We have reason to do so from the account Signor Jeronymo receives of his distress of mind while he endeavours to overcome his hopeless passion
Allow me madam to conclude this Letter here We are to have a little concert this evening and our company is beginning to assemble in the musicroom—I must go and attend the marchioness and Lady Clementina who herself will be a performer She is an admirable one I can only stay to add that I am
Your everdutiful HARRIET GRANDISON
Grandisonhall Saturday April 28
MY dearest grandmamma will not complain that my three last Letters awere not filled with particulars of our engagements and Conversations here What a scene of happiness What have I to pray for but the continuance of it Except that the admirable Lady Clementina were somehow settled to her own liking and that her indulgent relations could be satisfied with it Something seems to be wanting for her and therefore for them Yet can a lover of her of her fame of her family say what that something should be I for my part ought to be the last who should decide for her I who never I think say Lady G what she pleases of my romancings could have been happy with any man in the world but Sir Charles Grandison after I had known him and once was led to hope for so great a blessing and who have not that notion that she has or seems to have of the dreariness and disadvantages of a single state on the contrary who think the married life attended with so many cares and troubles that it is rather as it is a duty to enter into it when it can be done with prudence a kind of faulty indulgence and selfishness in order to avoid these cares and troubles to live single But to leave this subject to the decision of Lady G and Lady Gertrude the latter of whom has given some unanswerable hints on her Side of the Question I will proceed with my narrative
And here let me observe that had not Lady Clementina made her rejection of the best of men her sole and deliberate Act it is my humble opinion that her loss of him would have been insupportable to her That consideration and her noble motive for it enable
her to behave gloriously under the self-deprivation as I may call it Yet I can see at times by her studiously avoiding his company and frequently excusing herself from making one in little parties of Sir Charless proposing and by her chusing at all times my company that the noble Lady thinks selfdenial necessary to her peace
She was once for putting Jeronymo on proposing to leave England sooner than they had intended and take my promise to follow them I was present She had tears in her eyes when she proposed it We had been talking of Sir Charles in raptures on some of his noble charities which had but lately come to our knowlege and it was pretty evident to me that she at the time was of opinion that distance from him would be a means to quiet her heart—The dear Emily finds it so thank God
Lady Clementina has been however tolerably chearful since amusing herself with drawing up plans for her future life Very pretty ones some of them But a little too ideal if I may so express myself and she changes them too often to shew that steadiness which I want to see in her mind Poor Lady How I pity her as I contemplate her in her contrivances and proposals I am often forced to turn away my face that she may not see the starting Tear
Tuesday May 1
THE Count of Belvedere being returned to London from a country excursion and not very well the Marquiss was desirous of making a visit to him and at the same time to pass a few Days in London to see the Curiosities of the place and to be present at some of the publick entertainments The gentlemen at the first Motion made a party to attend him and Sir Charles you may suppose would not in complaisance be excused Dr Bartlett and Father Marescotti who are inseparable had formed a scheme of their own and the Ladies declared that not one of them would leave me
The gentlemen accordingly set out yesterday morning In the afternoon arrived here one of the most obliging of wives tenderest of mothers and amiable of nursesWho do you think madam—No other than Lady G and her Lord Ungovernable Charlotte Her month but just up We have all blamed her We blamed her Lord too for suffering her to come—But what could I do said he innocently—But they are both so much improved as husband and Wife—Upon my Word I am charmed with her in every one of the above characters My Lord appears even in her company now that his wife has given him his due consequence a manly sensible Man If he ever had any levities of behaviour they are all vanished and gone She is all vivacity as heretofore but no flippancy Her liveliness in the main is that of a sensible not a very saucy wife entirely satisfied with herself her situation and prospects Upon my Word I am brought over to her opinion that if the second man be worthy a woman may be happy who has not been indulged in her first Fancy And I am the rather induced to hope so for my Emilys sake
Tuesday Evening
MRS Beaumont has received a Letter from the Ladies her friends at Florence expressing their fear that the love of her Country now she is in it has taken place in her heart and weakened her Affection for them They beg of her to convince them of the contrary by hastening to them
This Letter it seems mentions some severe reflexions cast upon Lady Clementina by the unhappy Olivia Camilla who is very fond of me has hinted this to me and at the same time acquainted me with her young Ladys earnestness to see it Mrs Beaumont having expressed to her her indignation against Olivia on the occasion Unworthy Olivia What reflexions can you cast on the admirable Clementina
—Yet I wish Mrs Beaumont would let me see them—But dear Mrs Beaumont impart not to Clementina any thing that may affect her delicate and too scrupulous mind
This overlively Lady G has been acquainting Lady Clementina with Emilys story yet intending to set forth nothing by it she says but the fortitude of so young a creature
She owns that Lady Clementina often reddened as she proceeded in it yet that she went on—How could she—I chid her for poor Emilys sake for her own sake for Lady Clementinas for Sir Edward Beauchamps sake—How could she be so indelicate Is there a necessity dear Lady G thought I as she repeated what passed on the occasion now you are so right in the great articles of your duty that you must be wrong in something
Lady Clementina highly applauded Emily however A charming young creature she called her Absence added she is certainly a right measure Were the man a common man it would not signify Presence in that case might help her as he probably would every Day expose his Faults to her observation But absence from such a man as Sir Charles Grandison is certainly right Lady G says it was easy to see that Lady Clementina made some selfapplications upon it
Wednesday Morning May 2
LADY G has been communicating to me a conference which she says she could not but overhear between Lady Clementina and Mrs Beaumont held in the closet of the latter which joins to a closet in Lady Gs dressingroom separated only by a thin partition The rooms were once one—A little of your usual curiosity I doubt my dear Lady G thought I You were not confined to that closet You might have retired when their conversation begun But no Curiosity is a nail that will fasten to the ground the
foot of an inquisitive Person however painful what she hears may sometimes make her situation
Mrs Beamont had acquainted Lady Clementina with the contents of the Letter she had received from her Friends at Florence The poor Lady was in tears upon it She called Olivia cruel unjust wicked The very surmize said she is of such a nature that I cannot bear to look either Lady Grandison or any of her friends in the face For Heavens sake let it not be hinted to any one in the family nor even to my own relations that Olivia herself could be capable of making such a reflexion upon me
My dearest Lady Clementina said Mrs Beaumont I wish—
What wisheth my dear Mrs Beaumont—
That you would change your system
ARTICLES Mrs Beaumont ARTICLES—If they are broken with me I resume my solicitude to be allowed to take the veil That allowance and that only can set all right My heart is distressed by what you have let me see Olivia has dared to throw out against me
Allow me one observation only my dear Clementina What Olivia has hinted the world will hint It behoves you to consider that the Husband of Lady Grandison ought not to be so much the object of any womans attention as to be an obstacle to the address of another man really worthy
Cruel cruel Olivia There is no bearing the thought of her vile suggestion None but Olivia—Say not the world Olivia only Mrs Beaumont was capable of such a suggestion—
For my own part interrupted Mrs Beaumont I am confident that it is a base suggestion and that if Sir Charles Grandison had not been married you never would have been his You could not have receded from your former objections You see what a determined Protestant he is a Protestant upon principle
You are equally steady in your Faith Yet as matters stand so amiable as he is and the more his private Life and manners are seen the more to be admired must not your best friends lay it at the Door of a first Love that you cannot give way to the address of a man against whom no one other objection can lie
ARTICLES Mrs Beaumont ARTICLES—
One word more only my dear Lady Clementina as the subject was begun by yourself—May it not be expected now that no opposition is given you you will begin to feel that your happiness and peace and strength of mind will flow from turning your thoughts on principles of Duty so the world will call them to other objects and that the dwelling on those it will suppose you to dwell upon till your situation is visibly altered will serve only to disturb your mind and fill your friends on every instance that may affect it with apprehensions for you
You have said a great deal Mrs Beaumont But is not the veil the only possible expedient to make us all easy
ARTICLES ARTICLES my dear Clementina I have been drawn in by yourself insensibly to speak my mind on this subject But I have no view no design Your Parents your Brothers you see inviolably adhere to the Articles But consider my dear were you even allowed to assume the veil that all such recollections of your former inclination as would be faulty in a married state would have been equally contrary to your religious Vows Would then the assuming of the veil make you happy
Dont you hint Olivialike Mrs Beaumont at culpable inclinations Do you impute to me culpable inclinations
I do not neither do I think you are absolutely as yet an Angel Would you my dear refuse your vows to the Count of Belvedere or any other man
for a certain reason yet think yourself free enough to give them to your God
Will this Argument hold Mrs Beaumont in the present case
You will call upon ARTICLES my dear if I proceed Your silence however, is encouraging What were just now your observations upon the story of Miss Emily Jervois Is there not a resemblance between her case and yours
Surely madam I am not such a girl—O Mrs Beaumont how am I sunk in your opinion
You are not my dear Clementina you cannot in anybodys Miss Jervois is under obligations to her guardian that you are not
Is that Mrs Beaumont all the difference—That makes none I am under greater What are pecuniary obligations to the preservation of a brothers life To a hundred other instances of goodness—That girl my pattern Poor poor Clementina How art thou fallen Let me fly this country—Now I see in the strongest Light what a rashness I was guilty of when I fled to it How must the Chevalier Grandison himself despise me—But I tell you Mrs Beaumont that I am incapable of a wish of a thought contrary to those that determined me when I declined the hand of the best of men O that I were in my own Italy—What must young Creatures suffer from the love of an improper object in the opinion of their friends if after the sacrifices I have made I must lie under disgraceful imputations from my gratitude and esteem for the most worthy of human minds—O how I disdain myself
It is a generous disdain my dear lady Clementina I end as I began—I wish you would think of changing your system But I leave the whole upon your own consideration Your parents are passive God direct you I wish you happy At present you will not yourself say you are so Yet nobody controuls
you nor wishes to controul you Everybody loves you Your happiness is the subject of all our prayers
Lady G believes the conversation ended here
Lady L in Mrs Beaumonts presence has been just making me a compliment on my generous Love as she calls it of Lady Clementina and my security in Sir Charless affection Dear madam said I where is the merit A man of such established principles and a woman of such delicate honour They both of them move my pity and engage my love With regard to Lady Clementina this is my consolation that I stood not in her way That your Brother never made his addresses to me till she on the noblest motives left him free to choose the next eligible as I have reason to think he allowed me to be And let me tell you my dear Mrs Beaumont that in his address to me he did her justice and dealt so nobly with me that had I not before preferred him to all other men I should have done it then
Thursday May 3
I HAVE received a Letter from Sir Charles Lady Clementina and I were together when it was brought She seeing whom it came from and that I mediated the seal with Impatience begged me to read it then or she would withdraw I opened it There were in it I told her the politest remembrances of her and the other ladies and read what he wrote of that nature She looked with so desiring an eye at it that I said were you to read it madam you would find him the kindest of men Sir Charles and I have not a secret between us But there are in it a passage or two relating to a certain gentleman that were you to read it might affect you By the way she reads English extremely well And is that Lady Grandison your only objection I should be glad to
see were it not improper how the politest of men writes to the best of wives
I gave her the Letter
She had greatness of mind to be delighted with his affectionate stile—Tender delicacy said she as she read—Happy happy Lady Grandison Tears in her eyes and clasping her arms about me let me thus congratulate you I acted right in declining his address I must have thought well of the religion of the man who could speak who could write who could act who could live as he does
I bowed my face on her Shoulder To have expressed but half the admiration I had in my heart of her nobleness of mind would have been to hint to her the delicate situation she had been in and to wonder how she could overcome herself
What follows said she sitting down I presume I may read For my eye has caught the name of a man my heart can pity
She read to herself the passage which is to the following effect
The person of the poor Count of Belvedere Sir Charles writes in the Counts words is loitering in town endeavouring to divert itself there while his soul is at Grandisonhall He cannot think of quitting England till he has taken leave of Lady Clementina yet dreading the pangs he shall feel on that occasion he cannot bring himself to undergo them
The Marquiss the Bishop Signor Jeronymo all joined Sir Charles writes to console him yet wished him to pursue his better fortune at Madrid and the Count thinks of prevailing on himself to accompany them down in order to take this dreaded Farewel Sir Charles expresses his pity for him but applauds the whole family for their inviolable adherence to their agreement
When she read to that place tears stole down her cheeks—Agreement said she—Ah Lady Grandison
It is true they speak not But I can read their wishes in their eyes
She read on Sir Charless praises of the Count for his beneficent spirit The Count said she is certainly a good man—But is not his a strange perseverance Then giving me the Letter How few of us know said she what is best for ourselves There is a Lady in Spain of great honour and merit who would make him a much happier man than she can do on whom he has cast a partial eye And besides there is the poor Laurana—
She stopt I suffered the subject to end there
Sir Charles supposes it will be the latter end of next week before they return if the Marquis holds his purpose of being present at a Ball to which he is invited by the Venetian ambassador—Near a fortnights absence on the whole—O dear O dear
The following by Lady G
And O dear O dear say I This is Saturday and not a word more written So taken up with her walks and walkingmate—Selfishs creature both It was with difficulty I procured a fight of this Letter No wonder You see how freely she has treated me in it I told her it never would be finished if I did not finish it for her Her excuse is Sir Charless absence and that you madam charged her not to write by every post lest an accidental omission should make you uneasy—Ungrateful for indulgence given She must therefore let several posts pass—But get thee gone Paper now And carry with thee all manner of compliments from Charlotte G as well as from Here sign it my sweet Sister
HARRIET GRANDISON
Grandisonhall Sat May 5
YOUR complaining Letter areached me here Lucy but this day I arrived here on Monday afternoon Ungracious Harriet She chid me for coming But I went to Church first What would they have
My Lord and I are one now If therefore I say I arrived it is the same as saying he did My little Harriet with us you may be sure
But what does the girl complain for Maiden creatures should send us married women two Letters for one Establish for me this expectation You will soon yourself be the better for the doctrine.
You tell me that hardly any of your girls are satisfied with my imperial decision on the appeal laid before me tho supported by the opinions of Mrs Shirley Lady D and every wise woman I dont care whether you are or not Sorry chits you decide among yourselves and then ask for the opinions of others What for In hopes they will confirm your own if not to be saucy and reject them
You want me to tell you a hundred thousand things of whats doing whats done whats said here Not I Harriet is writing a long long Letter to her grandmamma she tells me and journalwise b—Let that when you have it content you She says I must not see it But I will Something saucy about me in it I suppose
My Brother and his principal Menguests are in town They went on Monday morning So I have not seen them—Will not come back till Friday
next week Harriet is impatient for his return O girls girls That a Church ceremony can so soon make such a difference in the same person—But he is so generously tender of her that the wonder in her case is the less
Lady Clementina is a noble creature We are obliged to call both her and Harriet to order or they would never be asunder The garden and park are the places in which they most delight to walk Make Harriet give you the particulars of their conversations—Then I shall have them I have demanded them but she only acquaints me in general that she is delighted with Lady Clementinas part in them The other expresses no less admiration of Harriets But besides that they rob us of their company too often which is ruder in the mistress of the house than in the guest Harriet does not enough consider her own circumstances Their walks are too long She comes in and throws herself sometimes into a chair—so tired—Yet chidden for her long walks such engaging conversations she cries out—Heroines both I suppose and they are mirrors to each other each admiring herself in the other No wonder they are engaged insensibly by a vanity which carries with it to each so generous an appearance for all the while Harriet thinks she is only admiring Clementina Clementina that shes applauding Harriet
Well Lucy—But I find you will not be Lucy long—Your day it seems will soon be fixed The day happy may it be which will set a coronet on your head A foolish kind of bawble after all but it looks not amiss on the outside of ones coach—if the inside contain not—Did I say a monkey Lucy But that will not be your case My Lord knows your Lord and esteems him Lord Gs esteem china and shells out of the question is not contemptible I can tell you His Love for his flippant
Charlotte made him play monkeytricks which lessened him in my eyes but now I see he is capable of forgetting his butterflies and esteeming me I remember my promise and honour him Obedience will come—when it can
Well but Lucy Dr Bartlett knew your Lord Reresby abroad and speaks well of him He has wished for this match ever since it was first mentioned nay before it was mentioned—Ever since he was a brideman on my brothers happy day and you are a good girl that you have not paraded as Harriet did and Clementina does
Have I any more to say I think not I will endeavour to get a sight of what Harriet has written Let her deny me if she dare If that suggests to me a subject which she has not touched upon well and good If not take it for a conclusion chits that I wish you all well and to our venerable Mrs Shirley and respectable aunt Selby and her honest man health happiness and soforth
CH G
Wednesday May 9
I AM afraid your brother James will terrify you all Surprising—I am very angry with him for however slight he might make of what I have to tell you I know that none of you besides will I therefore dispatch this by a man and horse on purpose to set your hearts at ease—The wretch left her in a fainting fit Had the dear creature ever any of these fits before But why do I ask this is easily accounted for She was oversatigued with a walk Against warning against threatenings she and Lady Clementina had taken a longer walk than ever they did
before quite to the end of the park to view some alterations which Sir Charles was making there They had forgotten that they had the same length to walk back again Halfway on their return tired and each accusing herself and apologizing to the other they were surprized by a sudden shower of rain a violent one a thundershower No shelter They were forced to run for it towards a distant tree which when they approached they found wet thro as they both were So they made the best of their way to the house were seen at a little distance making the appearance of frighted hares The servants ran to them with clokes which thrown over their wet cloaths helped to load them As Harriet entered the halldoor which leads into the garden she was surprised with the sight of Sir Charles entering at the other She expected him not till Friday or Saturday Her complexion changed She sighed sobbed Her cheeks her lips turned pale Down she was sinking My brother was terrified but he caught her in his arms and saved her fall
Lady L and I were together indulging ourselves with our little nurseries who were crowing at each other I singing to both by the way they are surprising infants when word was brought that my Brother was come and Lady Grandison was dying How were we both terrified We in our fright each popt her pug into the arms of the other by way of ridding our hands of our own and the women being not at hand threw the smiling brats into one cradle and down hurried we to our Harriet
In the midst of all this bustle this wise Brother of yours Lucy slipt away without taking leave of us What tho his hour was fixed and his postchaise waiting could he not have staid one halfhour O these inconsiderate harebraind—Dont be angry Lucy he has vexd us for you I should otherwise have left to herself the account of her indisposition
and recovery She has got cold So has her sisterexcellence as my Brother justly calls her Is it to be wondered at—She was feverish all day yesterday but made slight of it and would have come down to dinner but we would not permit her to leave her chamber
How was Lady Clementina affected She laid all at her own door And last night Harriet being still more feverish ▪we all talked ourselves into a thousand panies Lady Clementina was not to be pacified
Today she is in a manner quite well and we are all joy upon it But she shall never again do the honours of the Park to Lady Clementina Trust me for that grandmamma Shirley and expect a Letter from the dear creature herself by the post Adieu adieu Lucy every body in a violent hurry subscribes
Your CHARLOTTE G
P S My hurry is owing only to the demands of my Marmouset upon me To nothing else upon my honour For we are all safe serene and soforth
Grandisonhall Friday May 11
I AM sorry my dearest grandmamma you have all been so much alarmed by an indisposition which is already gone off My cousin James foolish youth I wish he had not called upon us on his return from Portsmouth or that he had staid at Grandisonhall till now Lady G has given you in her lively way an account of the girlish inconsideration which might have been attended with a fever had not Mr Lowther been at hand who thought it adviseable that I
should lose blood But it was the joy on seeing Sir Charles after an absence of eight days and several days sooner than I had expected that pleasure which overcame me
Never never was there so tender so affectionate so indulgent a husband—Lady G has told you that I fainted away—When recovered I found myself in his arms all our friends and guests assembled round me every one expressing such a tender concern
Harriet be grateful But canst thou be enough so How art thou beloved of hearts the most worthy—And what new proofs hast thou received of that Love of all other the dearest Every hour do I experience some new instance of his tender goodness He stirred not from my chamber for half an hour together for two whole days and nights All the rest he took was in a chair by my bedside and very little was his rest Yet blessed be God his health suffered not Every cordial every medicine did he administer to me with his own hands He regarded not anybody but his Harriet The world he told me was nothing to him without his Harriet So amiably has he appeared in this new light not in my fond eyes only but in those of all here who are continually congratulating me upon it and every one telling me little circumstances of his kind attention and anxious fondness as some happened to observe one some another that tho I wanted not proofs before of his affection for me I cannot account my indisposition an unhappiness especially as it has gone off without the consequences of which you were so very apprehensive—
Dear Sir I obey you But indeed Sir writing to my grandmamma does me good But I obey
Only let thus far as I have written be dispatched to my Northamptonshire friends
From their everdutiful HARRIET GRANDISON
Sat Night
I HAVE a constant attendant in Lady Clementina She was not to be consoled when I was at worst Wringing her hands O that she had never come to England was her frequent exclamation And they apprehended that her mind would be again disturbed She has not yet recovered her former sedateness She gets by herself when she is not with me She is often in tears and wishes herself in Italy Sir Charles is concerned for her She has something upon her mind he says and asked me if she had not disclosed it to me He wondered she had not expressing himself with pleasure on the confidence each has in the other
Sunday May 13
SIGNOR Jeronymo has been pitying to me the Count of Belvedere The poor man could not prevail upon himself to accompany Sir Charles and his noble guests down He owned to Jeronymo that he had twice set out for Grandisonhall but both times being unable to pursue his intention turned back
Jeronymo told me that the Count had made his will and left all that he could leave and his whole personal estate to their family in case he should die unmarried He would not leave it to Lady Clementina left if his bequests were to come to her knowledge she should think he was so mean as to expect that favour from his riches of which he had no hope from her esteem
The generous Belvedere declares said Jeronymo that should her malady be renewed by means of our interesting ourselves in his favour he should be the most miserable of men My dear Jeronymo said he at parting in town tell that Angel of a Woman that
I never will solicit her favour while I shall have reason to apprehend she has an aversion to me May Clementina be happy and Belvedere must have some consolation from knowing her to be so however wretched he may be on the whole But assure yourself Jeronymo that I will never be the husband of any other woman while she is unmarried
I joined with Signor Jeronymo in pitying the Count Yet I must own that my compassion is still more deeply engaged for Clementina But I was affected not a little however when Jeronymo read a passage from a Letter of the Count which at my request he lest with me and which I English as follows—After his supplicatious put up to Heaven for her happiness whatever became of him—
But can she be happy
says he
in her present situation may there not be always a struggle between her exalted notion of duty and her passion tho the noblest that ever warmed a human breast which may renew the disorders of her mind—Were she mine—Let me indulge for one moment the rapturous supposition I could hope to conduct to guide to compose that noble mind We would admire with an equal affection that best of men whose goodness is not more the object of her Love than of my veneration Jealous as I am of my honour I would satisfy the charmer of my soul that I approved of her sisterly Love of a man so excellent She would not then be left to the silent distress of her own heart
What say my Grandmamma my Aunt my Lucy Shall I wish the noble Clementina may be prevailed upon in favour of this really worthy man should I do you think be prevailed upon in her situation—A better question still—Ought I
Monday May 14
MY Cousin James has seen me and I have chid him too for having been so hasty to carry bad news
to Northamptonshire without staying a day or two when he might have carried better Tis true they will not permit me to quit my chamber yet But that is rather for precautionary than necessary reasons and they have given over chiding me for writing—Their indulgence to me of my pen will convince you that I am quite well
Lady Clementina most sincerely rejoices in my recovery Yet she is every day more and more thoughtful and solemn She is grieved she tells her mother who is troubled at her Solemnity for her brother Jeronymo who indeed is not well Mr Lowther tells us that he must not expect to be exampt from temporary pains and disorder But I am sure the worthy man would be easier in his own mind were his sister to give her hand to the Count of Belvedere
I talked to Sir Charles on this subject an hour ago Lady Clementina my dear Sir said I is not happy I question whether she ever will unless she is allowed her own way the veil
And that returned he has been so long a familyobjection that the compliance with her wishes would break the heart of her mother at least and greatly afilict all the rest It must not for their sakes be thought of
What then Sir can be done
We must have patience my dearest life Her malady has unsettled her noble mind She must try her own schemes and if she find not happiness in any of them she will think of new ones till at last she fixes Nor I hope is the time far off
Do you think so Sir
Dont you see my Love that the poor Lady is more and more uneasy with herself Something is working in her mind I have desired her mother to leave that disturbed mind to its own generous workings Her vehemence raised by the opposition she met with which she considered as a persecution has for some
time subsided and she will probably fall upon reflexions which she had not time to attend to before
Jeronymo thinks proceeded he that I might successfully plead in the Counts favour—But did I not draw the articles Did I not propose the terms Lady Clementina shall not be prevaricated with She shuns me of late—In apprehension perhaps that I will try my influence over her She never seems so easy as when she is with my dearest Love You must preserve that consequence with her which delicate minds will ever be of to one another. Some little appearances of her malady will perhaps nowandthen shew themselves and unsettle her But I have no doubt if it please God to preserve her reason that her present uneasinesses will be productive of some great change in her schemes which may end in a tranquillity of mind that will make all us who love her happy Meantime my dear let this be our rule if you please Let her lead let us only follow—Persuasion against avowed inclination you and I my Harriet have always condemned as a degree of compulsion Had the admirable Lady been entreated to take the noble measure she fell upon when she rejected me however great the motives she would not have been so happy as she was when she found herself absolute mistress of the question and could astonish and surprise us all by her magnanimity
Who could resist this reasoning How well does he seem to know this excellent woman when he considers her unhappy unfixedness occasioned by a malady which will nowandthen till she can be settled in some quiet and agreeable way shew itself in her conduct when she has any great part before her to act
Tuesday Afternoon May 15
LADY Clementina soon after dinner sent up to me her Camilia for I was not at table to desire a quarter of an hours discourse with me in my chamber
I gave direction that nobody should come to me till I rang She entered saw me seated took her seat by me and immediately with a noble frankness in her manner thus began
I could not my dear Lady Grandison ask the favour of your ear on the subject I wanted to open my heart upon to you till I saw you were perfectly recovered God be praised that you are What anxieties did your late indisposition give me I accused myself as the cause of it—I had engaged you thoughtlesly in too long a walk You know how Lady G how Lady L were terrified I overheard them once that evening talking over their fears to one another. Lady G looked with visible unkindness upon me My aid ineffectual my person in the way I hurried to my chamber Good God said I every object looking strange about me Where am I What am I Can I be the same Clementina della Porretta that I was a few months ago Can I have brought misery to the family which was my only resuge To the man who—She paused Then lifting up her eyes Blessed Virgin said she And is Clementina in the house of the man whom she has been known to regard above all men and whom she still does regard but not as Olivia supposes And then on my knees I offered up fervent prayers for your health and happiness and that it would please God to return me with reputation to my native country My eyes are now opened to the impropriety I have been guilty of in taking refuge in England and in remaining in it and in your house and with a man whom I am known to value The world had begun to talk Cruel Olivia She will lead and point the talk as she would have it believed I am under obligation to your goodness and to that of all your friends that they and you think kindly of me situated as I once was I am obliged Mortifying consideration to a spirit like mine to Sir Charles Grandisons generosity and compassion
that he does not despise me A girl forgive me for mentioning it it is to you only has been by my dear Mrs Beaumont proposed indirectly at least for a Pattern to me How am I sunk My pride cannot bear it Had I been allowed to take the veil all these improprieties in my conduct had been prevented all these mortifications would have been spared the unhappy Clementina—Tell me advise me May I not renew my entreaties to be allowed to take the veil Give me as to your sister no sister ever loved her sister better than I love you your advice Counsel me what to do what course to steer to recover myself in my own eyes At present I hate I despise myself
With how little reason my dearest sister my excellent friend All my family revere you Sir Charles his Sisters and I love you Lady G particularly admires you She could not possibly look unkindly upon you What has Olivia dared to report But did she ever forbear her rash censures—What can I advise you I see your delicate distress But suppose you open your mind to the Marchioness To Mrs Beaumont suppose She is the most prudent of women
I know their minds already Their judgments are not with me Mrs Beaumont indeed without intending it has terrified me My mamma thinks herself bound by the Articles and will not speak
Suppose my dearest Lady you advise with Sir Charles You know he is the most delicateminded of men
I shall ever honour him But your indisposition has made me look upon him with more reverence than familiarity I have avoided him An exquisite pain has seized my heart on being brought to meditate the impropriety of my situation A pain I cannot describe Here it used to be putting her hand to her forehead
but here now it is removing it to her heart and at times I cannot bear it
Let me beg of Lady Clementina to lay that noble heart open to Sir Charles You know his disinterested affection for you You know his regard for your glory You know that your own mother your own Mrs Beaumont are not more delicate than he is You may unbosom yourself to him But such is his fear of offending you that you must begin A small opening will do His nice regard for your honour for the honour of our sex will on a slight encouragement spare you all that would be irksome to you He has no prejudices in favour or disfavour of any body He loves it is true he reveres your whole family but you more than all the rest Shall I say that he made his court to me in your name and by your interest yet acknowledged himself refused by an Angel
Excellent man—I will consult him and in your presence
As to my presence madam—
It must be so interrupted she I shall want your support Do you be my advocate with him and if he will be an advocate for me I may yet be happy At present I see but one way to extricate myself with honour I dare not propose it He may The world and Olivia will not let me be in that world a single woman and happy—Why should I not be allowed to quit it by a divine dedication
I embraced her soothed her But thought of Sir Charless advice not to lead but follow as she led Not one word as I told her would I say to him of what had passed between us that she might have his own unprejudiced advice
I rang by her permission Sally came up I made my request by her to her master He found us together Sir Charles said I before he could speak
Lady Clementina has something on her mind I have besought her to consult you
I must consult you both said she Tomorrow morning Sir as early as will suit Lady Grandison we will meet for that purpose
May the issue of tomorrows conference be tranquillity of mind to this excellent Lady
Wednesday May 16
THE conference was held in Italian It was but just turned of seven in the morning when we met in my drawingroom
I had told Lady Clementina that she must lead the subject but Sir Charles seeing her in some confusion relieved her—You do me madam said he great honour and it is worthy of our brotherly and sisterly friendship in proposing to ask my opinion on any subject in which you are interested Our dear Harriets recovery God be praised for it has left no wish in my heart so ardent as for your happiness Permit me to say my dear Lady Clementina it is necessary for that of us both
Indeed madam it is said I taking her hand Tenderness love respect I am sure were in my countenance if it spoke my heart She condescendingly bowed upon mine Tears were in her eyes You pain me Chevalier you pain me madam by your goodness—How many of my friends have I made unhappy
For some days past said Sir Charles I have observed that you have seemed more uneasy than usual Would to Heaven it were in my power to remove the cause
Perhaps it may Ah Chevalier I thought when I came into the compromise that I might have made myself happier in it than I now find I can be
Dear Lady Clementina said Sir Charles and stopt
Be not displeased with me Chevalier I must hold myself bound by it if it be insisted on But tho my condescending friends urge me not by entreaties by persuasions see you not that their wishing eyes and sighing hearts break every hour the Articles agreed to
Dear Lady Clementina
I knew you would be angry with me
I am not It would be equally unfriendly and insolent if I were But my dear Clementina what an affecting picture have you drawn of the resignation of parents to the will of their child in an article which their hearts were fixed upon
Add not weight Sir to my uneasy reflexions I can hardly bear to see in them the generous suppression of their own wishes
She then addressed herself to me—Bear with me dear Lady Grandison if I cast an eye back to former situations You know my whole story—For a few moments bear with me—I never God is my witness envied you On the contrary I rejoiced to find those merits which I had not power to reward so amply rewarded by you and that the Chevalier was so great a gainer by my declining his vows—She stopt
Proceed dearest Lady Clementina said I—Are we not sisters And do I not know that yours is the noblest of female minds
I rejoice Sir from my heart that I was enabled to act as I did—
Again she stopt Sir Charles bowed in silence
But still I hoped that one day my parents would have been overcome in favour of the divine dedication
That was always my wish till you Sir induced me to come into a compromise And then I was resolved to make myself if possible happy in the single Life allowed me But what can I do My former wishes recur I cannot help it And it seems evident to me that there is but one measure and that is the convent which can make me happy
Dear Lady Clementino said Sir Charles will you be pleased to allow me—
Olivia Sir interrupted she you dont perhaps know that reflects upon me It was indeed a rash step which I took when I fled to England How has it countenanced the excursion she made hither Tho God knows our motives were widely different Hers was to obtain what mine was intended to avoid But your sudden indisposition madam pointed the sting and carried it into my heart That flashed full upon me the impropriety of my situation Can there be say Chevalier can there be any expedient which will free me from reflexion from slander except that of the veil
You lead the question madam replied Sir Charles I but follow you Surely there can
You are not angry with me Chevalier You do not upbraid me with breach of Articles
I do not madam while we only reason not resolve Assure yourself that your tranquillity of mind is one of the principal objects of my daily vows Say Lady Clementina all that is in your heart to say Your friend your brother hears his sister with all the tenderness of fraternal love
How soothing How kind—You say there is another expedient What excepting marriage is it
Were it that and that could be an acceptable expedient—We are only reasoning madam not resolving—
Do you Chevalier with a look of impatience propose that to me
I do not madam—I said we were reasoning only▪—But surely you may be very happy in the single Life You may have thought of plans which on consideration may not please you But it is yet early Lady Clementina has too much greatness of mind to permit any-thing that may be said by malevolent people to effect her She knows her heart and has reason to be satisfied with it Were your former wishes to take place will not illwill and slander follow you into the most sacred retirements There are several tender points to be considered in your past situation These are considered by your parents They have no view but to your happiness You and they indeed have different notions of the means They think marriage with a worthy man of your own faith would tend to establish it You think assuming the veil the only expedient This subject has been much canvassed They are determined not to urge you Yet their judgments are not changed Shall they not be allowed to wish Especially when they urge not speak not their wishes Your father was earnest with the count of Belvedere in my hearing when last in town to give up all expectations from you God preserve their lives till they see you happy You must be convinced that they are not so intent upon the means as to obtain the end
My father my mother are all goodness—God preserve their precious lives—Tears trickled down her cheeks
I am sure my dear Lady Clementina you cannot be happy in any state of life if your choice pursued would make your parent unhappy—Could Lady Clementina were she even professed divest herself of all filial of all family regards Would not that very contemplative life of which she is at present so fond make her when it was too late to retrieve the step and with the more regret perhaps because it was too late carry her thoughts her affections with
greater force back to parents if living so deservedly dear to brothers so disinterestedly kind to her and who have all shared so largely in her distresses
She sighed She wept O Chevalier was all she said
You cannot madam live only to yourself for yourself And you may live to your God in the world perhaps more efficaciously than in the convent with regard to your souls health as you have such large ability to do good For wants not the world as I have heretofore pleaded such an example as you can give it—The heart madam not the profession is the truly acceptable Your maternal grandfather tho a sound Catholic would have it that there were many sighing hearts in convents and on this supposition confirmed to him by a singular instance which affected him he inserted in his will the clauses which he thought would oblige you to marry Your other grandfather joined in the enforcement of them
And what Sir was the penalty Only the forfeiture of an estate which I wish not for which none of us want We are all rich It is a purchased not a paternal estate
And purchased with what view madam And for whom
I would have my family superior to such motives
Must they not my dear Clementina be judges for themselves
I do not believe proceeded she that there are many sighing hearts in convents But if there were and my friends would be satisfied for that I own is an essential point with me I should not I am sure add to the number of such As to what you say of the world wanting such an example as I could set it I have not vanity enough to be convinced by that argument Whether my souls peace could be best promoted in the world or in the convent must be
left to me to judge who know that in the turmoils and disturbances I have met with both of mind and body the retired the sequestered life is most likely to recompose my shattered spirits
Those turmoils those disturbances madam thank God are over
I pity I can forgive I do forgive the poor Laurana Ah Sir you know not perhaps that LOVE a passion which is often the cause of guilty meanness as sometimes indeed of laudable greatness was the secret cause of Lauranas cruelty to me She hated me not till that passion invaded her bosom Shall I remember the evil of her behaviour and not the good
Admirable Clementina said Sir Charles Admirable lady said his Harriet both in a breath
She was the companion of my childhood proceeded the exalted Lady We had our education together I was the sufferer thank God not the aggressor She has made me great by putting it in my power to forgive her Let all my revenge be in her compunction from my forgiveness and from my wishes to promote her welfare
And a revenge indeed would that be said Sir Charles were she who had acted by an excellent creature as she has done by you capable of generous compunction But noblest of women can it be expected if you can forgive her that your family should join by giving up their reversionary expectance to reward her for her cruelty to their child who was entrusted to her kindest care and protection Can you madam treat lightly those instances of your parents and brothers Love which have made them resent her barbarity to you—My dear Lady Clementina you must not aim at being above Nature Remember that your grandfather never designed this estate for Laurana It was only to be provisionally hers in order to secure it the more effectually
to you and on failure of descendants from you to your elder brother who however wishes not for it His heart is in your marriage He only wishes that it may not be the cruel Lauranas If you can defeat the design of your grandfathers with regard to your own interest ought you to do injustice to your brothers claim
O Chevalier
Ought you think of disposing of your brothers right Has not he much better reason to be considered by you for his affection than Laurana has for her cruelty—Abhorred be that sort of LOVE my dear Lady Clementina which is pleaded in excuse of barbarity or of any extravagant undutiful or unnatural action
She sighed Tears again stole down her cheeks After a short silence—O spare me Chevalier—Despise me not Lady Grandison—My enfeebled reason may lead me into error but when I know it is error I will not continue in it I see that with regard to my brothers interest in this estate I reasoned wrong I was guilty my dear Lady Grandison I doubt in your eye of a false piece of heroism I was for doing less than justice to a brother that I might do more than justice to an unnatural relation
All that Laurana can hope from you my dear Lady Clementina said Sir Charles is that you will intitle her to the receipt of the considerable legacy your grandfather bequeathed to her—
And how is that to be done interrupted she but by my marriage—Ah Chevalier
Such indeed is the state of the case Such was it designed to be I madam but state it I advise nothing
Still Sir the motive which may allowably have weight with my friends ought not to have principal weight with me Consider Sir Is it not setting an earthly estate against my immortal soul
Far otherwise madam Can you so far doubt of the divine grace can you so disparage your own virtues as to suppose they want the security of a convent Do justice my dear Lady Clementina to yourself You have virtues which cannot be exerted in a convent and you have means to display them for the good of hundreds I argue not as a protestant when I address myself to you The most zealous catholic if unprejudiced circumstanced as you are must allow of what I say
Ah Chevalier how you anticipate me I was going to charge you with arguing like a protestant
Did not your grandfathers madam in effect argue as I argue when they made their wills Did not your father mother uncle brothers thus argue when they wished you to relinquish all thoughts of the veil And are not the one were not the others all zealous catholics Does not your brother the bishop does not your truly pious confessor acquiesce in their reasonings and concur with at least not oppose the familyreasons
She looked down sweetly conscious Sir Charles proceeded
Has not your mother madam who gave you and your three brothers to the world a merit both with God and man one of you dedicated as he is to God you see madam I address myself to you in the catholic stile which the cloistered life could not have given her Are not the conjugal and maternal duties performed as she has performed them of higher account than any of those can be which may be exerted in the sequestred life Clementina would not wish to be a better woman in the convent than her mother has always been out of it
She hesitated sighed looked down At last What can I say said she I have signed to the waving of my wishes after the veil and must I see abide by my signing It is however generous in you Sir not
to plead against me that my act and to hear me with patience want to be absolved from it But I am not happy—She stopt and turned away her face to conceal her emotion
Sir Charles was affected▪ as well as I
She recovered her speech I am at times said she too sensible of running into flight and absurdity My late unhappy malady has weakened my reasoning powers You both can I see you both do pity me Let me say Chevalier that when I came into your proposed compromise which after so grievous a fault committed as the flying from my native country and indulgent parents I could the less refuse I promised myself happiness in a situation in which I now see it is not to be found Your friendship your united friendship for me happy pair I thought as I knew I deserved it by my disinterested affection for you both would contribute to it I was therefore desirous to cultivate it My wounded reason allowed me not to consider that there were improprieties in my scheme of which the world would judge otherwise than I did And when I heard of vile and undeserved reflexions cast upon me but most when that sudden indisposition seized you my dear Lady Grandison and seemed to my frighted imagination to threaten a life so precious—
She paused Then proceeded—I have told you madam my reflexions—Before you Chevalier I have said enough—And now advise me what to do—To say truth I almost as much long to quit England as I did to fly to it I am unhappy O my fluctuating heart When when shall I be settled
What madam can I say answered Sir Charles What can I advise You say you are not happy You think your parents are not so We all believe you can make them so But God forbid it should be to your own unhappiness who have already been so great a sufferer tho hardly a greater than every one
of your friends has been from your sufferings I plead not madam the cause of any one man I have told you that your father himself advises a certain nobleman to give over all hopes of you And that person himself says that he will endeavour to do so first because he promised you that he would and next because he is now too well assured that you have an aversion to him
An aversion Chevalier God forbid that I should have an aversion to any hum n creature I thought my behaviour to that Gentleman had been such—She stopt
It was great it was worthy of Clementina But this is his apprehension And if it be just God forbid that Lady Clementina should think of him
My dear Lady Grandison do you advise me upon all that has passed in this conference You assured me at the beginning of it that my peace of mind was necessary to your happiness
From my affection for you my dear Lady Clementina and from my affection only it is necessary You cannot have a distress which will not if I know it be a distress to me You know best what you can do God give you happiness and make yours the foundation of that of your indulgent parents They are of opinion that a settled life with some worthy man of your own country and faith will greatly contribute to it Your mamma is firmly of opinion it will So is Mrs Beaumont You see that you cannot in justice to your brother and to his children yet unborn as well as in duty to your deceased grandfathers assume the veil You see that the unnatural Laurana whom you still are so great as to love cannot enjoy a considerable legacy bequeathed her but on your marriage—If you have a dislike to the nobleman who has so large a share in the affections of all your family by no means think of him Rejoice madam in a single life if you think you can
be happy in it till some man offer whom you can favour with your esteem Let me be honoured mean time with the continuance of your Love as I shall be found to deserve it We are already sisters In presence we will be one in absence we will not be divided for we will mingle souls and sentiments on paper—
I was proceeding but she wrapt her arms about my neck She bathed my cheek with her tears—O how generously did she extol me how delighted how affected was the dearest of men how delicate was his behaviour to both the tender friend in her the beleved wife were with the nicest propriety distinguished by him
The dear Lady was too much disordered by her own grateful rapture to recover a train of reasoning. She told me however that she would ponder weigh consider every thing that had passed
God give her happiness prays with her whole heart
Your HARRIET GRANDISON
Thursday May 17
LADY Clementina is thoughtful solemn and shuns company Not one word will anybody say to her of the Count of Belvedere But as he is expected here everyday to take his leave Sir Charles thinks she ought not to be surprized by his coming at unawares She neither dined nor supped in company yesterday nor breakfasted with us this morning She loves as you have heard to walk in the garden She diverts herself often with feeding the deer which gather about her as soon as she enters
the park Sir Charles just now passed her in the garden He asked after her health—My mind is not well Chevalier—God Almighty heal it said he taking her hand and bowing upon it—Thank you Sir Continue your prayers for me That last conversation Chevalier—But adieu
She took a path that led to the park He looked after her She turned once to see if he did He bowed and motioned with his hand as for leave to follow her She understood his motion and by hers forbid him—Poor Lady
Thursday Evening Six oclock
MR LOWTHER returned from London about an hour ago He has always been of opinion with the physicians of Italy that a disorder of mind not hereditary but circumstanced as Lady Clementinas was will be in no danger of returning or of becoming hereditary unless on some new distress like the former. He expressed his wonder more than once at her relations acquiescence with her plea as she made that the principal against marriage tho he allowed it to be a noble and generous one in her And now in order to justify his opinion he has taken of his own accord the opinions of the most noted London physicians who entirely agree with him
Saturday May 19
LADY Clementina has been generously lamenting to me the unhappiness of the cruel Laurana What I hinted to Sir Charles said she of her Love for the Count of Belvedere is but too true I have been urged to have compassion as it is called on him He should have shewed some for her She was proposed to him He rejected the proposal with haughtiness But I believe knew not how much she loved him I have faint remembrances of her ravings as I may call them for him to her mother and woman Sometimes vowing revenge for slighted Love—Poor Laurana was another Olivia in the violence of her passion
In the few lucid intervals I had when I was under her management I always expected that these ravings would end in harder usage of me Yet even then when I had calmness enough to pity myself I pitied her O that the Count would make her happy and could think himself happy in her—
She asked me if Sir Charles were not indeed inclined to favour the Count
He wishes you madam to marry answered I because he thinks and physicians of Italy and England and Mr Lowther concur with your parents wishes if there were a man in the world whom you could consent to make happy the consequence would not only make your whole family so but yourself But the choice of the man he thinks should be entirely left to you He thinks that the count so often refused ought not to be insisted on and that time should be given you
Let me ask you Lady Grandison as one sister to another Could you in my situation have resolved to give your hand—She stopt blushed looked down I snatched her hand and lifted it to my lips—Speak your whole Heart my Clementina to your Harriet—But yet I will spare you when I understand your meaning Noblest of women I am not Clementina I could not situated as you once were all my friends consenting and the man—such as you knew him to be have refused him my hands as well as heart But what may not be expected from a Lady who from a regard to her superior duties could make the most laudable passion of inferior force—You have already overcome the greatest difficulty and when you can persuade yourself that it is your duty to enter into new▪ measures I am sure whatever they may be—
Dear Lady Grandison say no more—My duty—How delicate are your intimations—What a subject have we slid into—Believe me I am incapable—
Of any thought of any imagination interrupted I that an angel might not own It would be an injury to your Harriets emulative Love of you were you but to suppose any assurances of your greatness of mind necessary
But I am at times pained generous Lady Grandison for what your friends may think may wish—O that I were in my own country again
They wish for nothing but your happiness Lay down your own Plan dear Lady Chalk out your future steps Look about you one two three years in the single life Assure your indulgent parents—
Hush hush hush hush my dear Lady Grandison gently putting her hand on my Mouth I will I must leave you—O my fluctuating heart—But whatever I shall be enabled to do whosesoever displeasure I may incur do you continue to love me still call me Sister and through you let me call Sir Charles Grandison my Brother and then shall I have a felicity that will counter balance many infelicities
She hurried from me not staying to hear the affectionate assurances of my admiring Love that were bursting my lips from a heart fervently desiring to comply with every wish of hers
Sunday May 20
THE Marquis is slightly indisposed The Marchioness is not well Lady Clementina applying to Mrs Beaumont for consolation on the occasion owned that were their indispositions to gather strength she should be too ready for her peace of mind to charge them to her own account Mrs Beaumont generously consoled her without urging one syllable in favour of the man who has so large an interest in the hearts of all her family her own excepted She herself mentioned with Approbation to Mrs Beaumont some particulars of the Counts munificence and greatness of mind that had come to
her knowlege But wished he could think of her cousin Laurana Her Camilla came in She asked with anxious duty after her Mothers health and withdrew in Tears to attend her
Monday May 21
WELL but now I Charlotte G who have taken up Harriets pen say these tears will soon be dried up The Marquis and his Lady are both better The Count is arrived Signors Juliano and Sebastiano with him Did you not see the Count when he was in town Lucy A pretty man upon my life were he not quite so solemn But that very solemnity will make for him with the fair romancer Is he not come as Lee says in his Theodosius
—To take eternal leave
Not to vouchsafe to see him would be scorn
Which the fair soul of gentle CLEMENTINA
Could never harbour
Accordingly on his arrival not unsent to but almost unnexpected down she came to tea and with such a grace—Indeed my dear and venerable Mrs Shirley she will be a good Girl All will come right She was a little solemn indeed in her serenity But she plainly put herself forward to speak She seemed to pity the Counts confusion who poor soul knew not how to speak to her and relieved it by enquiring after his health as he had not been well She addressed herself to him once or twice on indifferent subjects and pleased everybody by her behaviour to him Nay they talked together a good while at the window he and she and Mrs Beaumont very freely about England and Italy comparing in a few instances these gardens with those of the Marquis at Bologna No very interesting conversation indeed but the good Count thought himself in paradise Yet he fears he shall tomorrow be allowed to take a long long leave of her He goes to France and Italy not
to Spain I like him for that it would only be distressing himself further he says were he to amuse a worthy family who have invited him thither with a view that can never be answered while Clementina remains unmarried
My brother continues to insist upon it that not one word shall be said in the Counts favour Searoom and Landroom Mrs Shirely as I said once before—Where did he learn so throughly to understand the perverseness of a female Heart
By Lady Grandison You see my grandmamma what Lady G has written Her sweetly playful pen may divert you Her heart feels not as mine does the perplexities of the de r Clementina But I yield with grateful pleasure to a pen so much more lively than that of
Your HARRIET GRANDISON
Tuesday May 22
AND so Lucy your day is fixed May next Thursday be a happy one and reward the heroic girl who so nobly conquered a first Love on the discovered unworthiness of the man And you own that your heart is far from being indifferent to Lord Reresby—Good girl—Confirmation of all my Doctrines We women prate and prate of what we can and what we cannot what we ought and what we oughtnot to do But none of us staytillweareasked mortals know what we shall or can do till we are tried by the power of determining being put into our hands Was it possible for me to have loved that sorry wretch Anderson so well as I really love my honest Lord G It was not But
tho I name that creature myself never do you presume to do it I blush even to this hour at looking back to certain giddinesses that debased my character—But let me quit a subject so disagreeable
Lady Clementina has had a bad night▪ it seems—Came not down to breakfast The poor Enamore to was in despair I tried to hearten him up a little But my brother will not let any body flatter him with a hope that too probably may end in disappointment
Yonder I am writing at my window you must know is the fair Inflexible musing in the garden I have a good mind to call to her for I see by her motions and downcast looks that Resverie is no favourable sign for the Count—No need of my calling to her my Prother has this minute joined her As soon as he came in sight she went to him—Now dear brother put in a word for the poor man
Well but Lucy this Lord of yours must come among us He snall not carry you to Ireland this year Let all who would be good husbands and good wives come to Grandisonhall and learn And pray let them come while I am here Yet I have something to say against our Harriet too—She is so taken up with her heroic friendship that Clementina is now almost the only subject of her pen What godlike instances of my brothers goodness does she leave untold tho she admires him for them as much as ever Every rising every setting fun are witnesses of his divine Philanthropy I suppose she looks upon his praises now to be her own Well she may Never were hearts so united so formed for one another. But Harriet used to praise herself formerly Did she not uncle Selby
Believe me I will praise my honest man whenever he gives me cause For instance Yesterday I was well enough pleased with what he said to my
brother—You Sir Charles ought not to give yourself up to a private life Your country has a claim upon such a character as yours
Without doubt said I—Shall we myLord make my brother an embassador or a justice of peace Lord G rubbed his forehead but seeing me smile his countenance brightened up Dont you know Charlotte said my brother that nothing but the engagements our noble guests have given me would have prevented me from acting in the useful character you have last named
O that you had brother What admirable causes would then have been brought before US en dernier ressort How delightfully would your time have been taken up with the appeals of scolding wives forsaken damsels and witches presumptive
L dy G most be herself whatever be the subject replied Sir Charles You and I love her my Lord for her charming vivacity But think you my sister that a day spent in doing good be the objects of it ever so low is not more pleasing to reflect upon▪ than a day of the most elegant indulgence Would persons of sense and distinction myself out of the question more frequently than they do undertake the task it would be lighter to every one and would keep the great power vested in this class of magistrates and which is every year increasing out of mean and mercenary hands And surely men of consideration in the world owe it to their tenants and neighbours and to those of their fellowcreatures to whose industry they are obliged for their affluence to employ in their service those advantages of rank and education which make it perhaps easy for them to clear up and adjust in half an hour matters that would be of endless perplexity and entanglement to the parties concerned
Mind this uncle Selby for I think you are too fond of your own ways and your own ho•rs to do your duty as an active justice tho of the quorum
But I should have told you Lucy how this conversation began I got the occasion for it out of Dr Bartlett af erwards You must know that I visit him now and then as Harriet used to do to learn some of my brothers good deeds that otherwise would not come to our knowledge; by which I understand that notwithstanding he gives his guests so much of his company and appears so easy and free among us yet that every beneficent scheme is going on Not one improvement stands still He knows not what it is to be one moment idle
Dr Bartlett tells me that some gentlemen of prime consideration in the county have been offering my brother their interest against the next election He modestly acknowleged the grateful sense he had of the honour done him but declined it for the present as having been too little a while returned into his own country after so long an absence to be as yet fit for a trust so important We young men said he are apt to be warm When we have not studied a point throughly we act upon hasty conclusions and sometimes support sometimes oppose on insufficient grounds I would not be under Engagements to any party Neither can I think of contributing to destroy the morals and health of all the country people round me to make myself what is called an Interest Forgive me gentlemen I mean not to slight your favours But on such an occasion I ought to be explicit
But after the gentlemen were gone There is a county Dr Bartlett said he of which I should be ambitious to be one of the representatives had I a natural interest in it because of the reverence I bear to the good man to whom in that case I should have the honour to call myself a collegue When I can think myself more worthy than at present I am of standing in such a civil relation to him I shall consider him as another Gamaliel at whose feet so
long absent as I have been from my native country I shall be proud to be initiated into the service of the public
It is not difficult to guess who my brother—But my Marmouset is squalling for me and I must fly to silence it
Now Lucy that I have pacified my Brat do I wish you with me at my window My Brother and his Harriet only at this instant walking almost under it engaged in earnest conversation Seemingly how pleasing a one admiration and tenderness mingled in his looks In her while he speaks the most delighted attention When she answers love affiance modest deference benevolence compassion an expression that no pen can describe—Knowing them both so well and acquainted with their usual behaviour to each other I can make it all out She is pleading I am sure for Clementina Charming pleader—Yet my dear Mrs Shirley I fear her reasonings are romantic ones Our Harriet you know was always a little tinctured with Heroism and she goes back in her mind to the time that she thought she could never be the wife of any other man than my brother tho then hopeless that he could be hers and supposes Clementina in the same situation
When I looked first I dare say he was giving her an account of the conversation that passed an hour ago between him and Clementina He had his arm round her waist sometimes pressing her to him as they walked sometimes standing still and on her replies raising her hand to his lips with such tender possion—But here she comes
Harriet if I am a witch let Lucy know it Here—read this last paragraph—Have I guessed right at your subject of discourse—You will tell me you say in a Letter by itself—Do so
In Continuation of Lady Gs Subject
YOU need not be told my dear Lucy that our charming Lady G is mistress of penetration Your happy Harriet had been engaged in the most pleasing conversation The best of husbands conceals not from her one emotion of his excellent heart He is greatly distressed for Clementina It would be unworthy of his character if he were not Yet he seems to think she may be happy with the Count of Belvedere That is the point we have been debating As Sir Charles would have been the man of her choice but for an invincible obstacle is it not owing partly to his delicate modesty that he thinks she may be so What think you Lucy
Lady G says I make Clementinas case my own Be it so because so it ought to be Could I have been happy with Lord D—Call it romantic if you please Lady G I think it impossible that I could even tho I could not form to myself that Sir Charles Grandison himself would make the tender the indulgent husband he makes to the happiest of women
Sir Charles gave me the particulars of the conversation that passed between him and Lady Clementina in the garden He observed that she is not a stranger to the Counts resolution never to marry while she remains unmarried and that it is the intention of that nobleman to return to Italy and not go to Spain at all Perhaps she had her information either from Camilla or Laura who both heard him declare as much If she has condescended to hear them talk on a subject which every body else has studiously avoided she may also have heard from them many other particulars greatly to the Counts honour for they are his admirers and wellwishers
Sir Charles believes she will take a gracious leave of the Count before he sets out
The solemn the parting interview was to have been in my drawingroom this afternoon But Lady Clementina has given the Count an unexpected and joyful reprieve
She dined in company We were all charmed with her free and easy deportment as well to the Count as to everybody else His was not so easy He intending to bespeak the favour of half an hours audience of her in order to take leave of her when she arose from table was in visible agitations How the poor man trembled with what awe with what reverence as he sat did he glance towards her How did everybody pity him and by their eyes beseech her pity for him yet in the same moment our eyes fell under hers as she looked upon each person we all seeming unwilling to have her think we entreated for him by them I thought I read in her lovely countenance more than once compassion for him yet the breath hardfetched as often shewed a sigh suppressed that indicated I imagined a wish also suppressed after a life more eligible to her than the nuptial
At last when we women arose from table he as a man who must address her in haste or be unable at all to do it slept towards her retreated when near her as irresolute and again advancing profoundly bowing Madam madam said he hesitatingly—putting out his hand as if he would have taken hers but withdrawing it hastily before he touched it—I hope—I beg—allow me—I beseech you—one parting moment
She pit•ed his confusion My Lord said she We see 〈◊〉 tomorrow in the afternoon Allow me madam 〈◊〉 me—She courtesied to him and withdrew
with some little precipitation but with a dignity that never forsakes her
Every man it seems congratulated the Count Every woman when withdrawn with her Clementina The Marchioness folded her to her maternal bosom—My daughter My beloved daughter My Clementina was all she said tears trickling down her cheeks—O my mamma kneeling affected by her mothers tears—O my mamma—was all the daughter could say And rising took Mrs Beaumonts hand and retired with her to her own apartment
We see her now in the garden with that excellent woman arm in arm in earnest talk as we sit by the window
Wednesday Night
And now my grandmamma a word or two of dear Northamptonshire
I have a Letter from Emily I inclose it with a copy of my answer I hope it is not a breach of confidence to communicate them both to you and thro you madam to my aunt Selby At present I wish the contents may be a secret to everybody else
Dont let Lucy repine at her distant residence if it must be in Ireland It is generally the privilege of husbands to draw their wives after them Sir Charles says it is but a trip to that kingdom And having an estate in it which he is intent upon improving he will be her visitor and so will his Harriet you need not question if he make her the offer of accompanying him To you my grandmamma I know every part of the British dominions where your friends have a natural call is Northamptonshire Lucys grandmother however will miss her But has not she a Lucy in her Nancy And has not her grandson James a chance if Patty Holles will favour him to carry to her another grandaughter Besides Lord Reresby who is so goodnatured a man
will not be in haste to quit the country where he has obtained so rich a prize Sir Charles expects them both with him for a month at least before they leave England
Happy happy as the sixteenth of November to me may be the twentyfourth of May to Lucy prays
Her Ever affectionate HARRIET GRANDISON
Sat May 19
I Have something to communicate to you my dear Lady Grandison and take your advice about yet so young a creature as I am I am quite ashamed But you must keep my secret from every living soul and from my guardian too for the present since in writing to you I think I write to him as you know all his heart and are so prudent a Lady It is true I was or I might have been I should rather say a forward girl with regard to him But then my whole heart was captivated by his perfections by his greatness of mind that was all May not a creature tho ever so young admire a good mans goodness May she not have a deep sense of gratitude for kindness conferred That gratitude may indeed as she grows up engage her too deeply and I found myself in danger but made my escape in time Thank God—and thank you who assisted me—what an excellent Lady are you that one can speak to you of these tender matters But you are the Queen of our Sex and sit inthroned holding out your scepter in pity to one poor girl and raising another and another for it is glory enough for you to call the man yours for whom so many hearts have sighed in secret
But this was always my way—I never sat myself down to write to my guardian or to you but my preambles were longer than my matter—To the point then—but be sure keep my secret
Here everybody is fond of Sir Edward Beauchamp He is indeed a very agreeable man Next to my guardian I think him the most agreeable of men He is always coming down to us I cannot but see that he is particularly obliging to me I really believe young as I am he loves me But every body is so silent about him yet they slide away and leave us together very osten It looks as if all favoured him yet would not interfere He has not made any declaration of love neither—I am so young a creature you know and to be sure he is a very prudent man
My guardian dearly loves him—who does not His address is so gentle His words are so soothing His voice—To be sure he is a very amiable man Now tell me freely—Do you think my guardian but pray only sound him—I am so young a creature you know would be displeased if matters were to come to something in time—Three or four years hence suppose if Sir Edward would think it worth while to stay for so silly a creature—I would not think of sooner—If not I would not allow myself to be so much in his company you know
He has a very good estate and tho he is ten or twelve years older than I yet he never will be more than that since every year that goes over his head will go over mine likewise—So you will be pleased to give me your opinion
And here all the world is for marrying I think Miss Selby is as good as gone you know Her brother courts Miss Patty Holles Miss Kitty is not without her humble servant Nay Miss Nancy Selby for that matter—But let these intelligences come from themselves
You my dear Lady Grandison have led up this dance—So happy as you are—I think it is a right thing for young women to marry when young men are so desirous to copy Sir Charles Grandison
Hasten to me your advice if but in six lines We expect Sir Edward down next week I must like his company because he is always telling us one charming thing or other of my guardian and because he so sincerely rejoices in your happiness and his
God continue it to you both This is our prayer night and morning for our own sakes as well as yours believe
Your everobliged and affectionate EMILY JERVOIS
Tuesday May 22
I HAVE a great opinion of your prudence my Love And I have as high a one of Sir Edward Beauchamps honour and discretion His fortune his merit are unexceptionable Your guardian loves him If you could certainly love Sir Edward above all men and he you above all women I am of opinion your guardian will think no alliance can be happier for both and for himself too For you know my dear that your welfare is near his heart Let me my sweet Emily refer you as to your conduct on this occasion to my own almostunerring counsellors my grandmamma and aunt Selby Dont be ashamed to open your heart to them Are you not under their wings I will so manage that they shall lead the way to your freedom with them Your difficulties by this means will be lessened Sir Charles will pay the greatest attention to their advice But yet I must
insist that the reference to them shall not deprive of my Emilys confidence
Her everaffectionate Sister and faithful Friend and Servant HARRIET GRANDISON
Thursday May 24
I Begin this Letter as I ended my last to Lucy—May this day be a happy one to her and then it will be so to us all—My dear aunt Selby will be so good as to favour me with a line to acquaint me with the actual celebration that I may ground upon in my earliest felicitations
I will proceed with an account of what so much engages the attention of every one here
I told you in one of my former that Lady G had shewn to Mrs Beaumont Lucys account of the conversation held at Shirleymanor on the subject of a first Love with Lady Gs sprightly decision upon it and upon the appeal made to me—I must now tell you that Mrs Beaumont prevailed upon Lady Clementina to desire me to read it to her She made her request and I obeyed Mrs Beaumont was present Not a word by way of application did either she or I suggest when I had done reading Lady Clementinas complexion often changed as I read She was not at all diverted with those lively parts of Lady Gs decision that I ventured to read tho she is an admirer of her sprightly vein She looked down most of the time in solemn silence And at last when I had ended she sighing started as if from a resverie arose courtesied and withdrew not having once opened her lips on the subject
THE Bishop Signor Jeronymo and the two young Lords just now joined to request Sir Charles to become avowedly an advocate for the Count to Lady Clementina They urged that she was ballancing in his favour and that Sir Charless weight would turn the scale But Sir Charles not only desired to be excused but begged that she might not be solicited by anybody on that subject—May she not asked he by reasoning with herself and considering what she can do with justice to the Count and herself Her future peace of mind is concerned that her determination now shall be all her own Leave her no room for afterregret for having been persuaded against her mind If persuasion only is wanting will she not wrap herself up in reserve to keep herself in countenance for not having been persuaded before
Pursuant to this advice the Marchioness in a conversation with her beloved daughter that might have led to the subject on which their hearts are fixed declined it saying Whatever my child shall determine upon with regard to any plan for her future life let her whole heart be in it her choice shall be ours
Thursday Afternoon
LADY Clementina excused herself from breakfasting with us but obliged us with her Company at dinner At and after dinner Sir Charles directed himself to all the company in turn in his usual agreeable manner How does his benign countenance always shine when he finds himself surrounded at table by his friends the larger the circle the more diffused is his chearfulness With what delight does his Jeronymo meditate his every graceful motion He dwells upon what he says and by his eyes cast with less complaceney on an interrupter seems to wish every one silent when Sir Charless lips begin to open
After he had gone round his ample table saying something obliging to all in a manner calling forth every one to say something in his or her own way he addressed himself more particularly to the Count and led him into subjects both learned and familiar in which he knew he could shine and in which he d d It was doubly kind in Sir Charles to do so for the poor mans reverence for the mistress of his fate had taken all courage from his love and he wanted to be drawn out Never can bashful merit appear to so much advantage as in Sir Charless address to it
How much soul did Lady Clementina shew in her eyes she was very attentive to every one that spoke She asked the Count questions more than once on some of the subjects he was led to talk of My eyes as I could feel glistened when she did to see how those of her father and mother rejoiced as I may say on the notice she took of him Lady Clementina could not but observe how delightfully her complaisance to the Count was received by all her family—Is it possible thought I more than once were I in the situation of this admirable Lady to avoid obliging such indulgent parents with the grant of all their wishes that depended on myself having given up voluntarily the man I preferred to all others
Signor Sebastiano dropt a hint once of his own and the Counts and Signor Julianos intention of setting out mentioning a care for their baggage which by this time he supposed had reached Dover But Clementina turning an attentive ear to what he said Sir Charles was afraid she would take this hint as a design to hasten her resolution and said We will not sadden our hearts with the thoughts of parting with any of our friends
Thursday Evening Eight oClock
A LETTER is this moment brought from town by an especial Messenger to Signor Jeronymo The
whole family Lady Clementina excepted are got together upon the contents
Ten oClock
THE Marchioness just now taking my hand tears starting in her eyes Ah madam said she the poor wretch Laurana—Just then the Bishop and Father Marescotti entering she put the Letter into my hand I shall inclose a translation of it
To Signor JERONYMO DELLA PORRETTA
May 6 N S
THE dear perverse Clementina may be now indulged if she has not from principles of gratitude already yielded to give her hand to our Belvedere I hope she has One of our motives for urging her is at an end Laurana is no more Her mother kept from her as long as she could the news of the Counts accompanying you all to England But when she was told that he was actually in that kingdom and that my sister was heard of she doubted not but the consequence would be the defeating of all her hopes with regard to him A deep melancholy first seized her that was succeeded by raving fits and it is suspected that the poor creature eluding the care of her attendants came to a miserable end Lady Sforza is inconsolable A malignant fever is given out—so let it pass—SHE whom the wretched creature most cruelly used will shed a tear for the companion of her childhood But who else besides her own mother will—Yet if the manner of her quitting life were as shocking as it is whispered to me it was—But I will not enquire further about it for fear I should be induced to shew compassion for a wretch who 〈◊〉 not any to shew to a near relation entrusted to her care and who had a right to her kindest treatment
What a glorious creature as you paint him as Fame as father Marescotti and you a l report him is
your Grandison Your Sisterinlaw must I believe be complied with Ever since you all left Italy she has been earnest to attend you in England She even threatens to steal from her husband if he consent not and now Clementina has shewn her the way procure a passage thither to try my Love in following her as that naughty girl has all yours in a season—But what is the inclemency of season what are winds mountains seas to a woman who has set her heart on an adventure This I must allow in her favour if she should fly from me it will be to the father mother brothers from whom her Sister fled—Naughty naughty Clementina Can I forgive her Yet if her parents do what have I to say
I do assure you Jeronymo that I unfeignedly join with you in your joy that so deserving a man is not a loser by a disappointment that we all know sat heavily upon him at the time I even long to see upon one spot two women who are capable of shewing as they have shewn a magnanimity so very rare in the Sex One of whom let me glory is my Sister But Clementina ever was one of the most generous however in some points unpersuadable of human creatures
Let Belvedere know how much I love him Whatever be his fate with one of the perversest yet noblestminded of women I will ever look upon him as my brother
Reverence duty love and the sincerest compliments distribute as due my dear Jeronymo from
Your GIACOMO
Friday May 25
UNHAPPY Laurana Sir Charles expressed great concern for the manner of her death How can you brother said Lady G when we three only were together be concerned for so execrable a wretch
Shall a human creature perish replied he and its fellowcreature not be moved Shall an immortal Being fix its eternal state by an act dreadful and irreversible by a crime that admits not of repentance and shall we not be concerned this indeed was owing to distraction But how ill was such a soul as Lauranas prepared to rush into Eternity—Unhappy Laurana
It is not thought fit for obvious reasons to acquaint Clementina with the contents of the generals Letter
AT last my dear grandmamma the great point seems to be decided Lady Clementina had for some time been employing herself in drawing up in two opposite columns the arguments for and against her entering into the marriagestate She shewed them to me and afterwards to Mrs Beaumont but would not allow either of us to take a copy She has stated them very fairly I could not but observe to her on which side the strength lay
This morning she gave us her company at breakfasttime for a few minutes only She was in visible emotions and seemed desirous of getting the better of them but was unable and therefore retired She shut herself up and about noon sent sealed up
a Letter which I will English as well as I can thus directed
To her everhonoured everindulgent Father and Mother CLEMENTINA DELLA PORRETTA
HOW did my whole Soul aspire after the veil—Insuperable obstacles having arisen against the union of your child with one exalted man how averse was I to enter into covenant with any other
It was your pleasure my Lord it was yours madam that I should not be indulged in the aspiration You had the goodness to oblige me in my averseness
The Chevalier Grandison has since convinced me▪ by generous and condescending reasonings that I could not in duty to the will of my two grandfathers and in justice to my elder brother and his descendants renew my wishes after the cloister I submit
But now what is to be done what can I do to make you my dearest parents and my brothers happy Olivia triumphs over me My situation is disagreeable I who ought to be a comfort to my friends have been I still am a trouble to them all—The Chevalier Grandison and his excellent Lady have signified to me more than once that they expect from me the completion of their earthly happiness And what is this life but a short a transitory passage to a better
Have I not declined accepting the vows of the first of men The only man I ever saw with a wish to be united to him Decline them on motives that all my friends think do me honour
Have I ever dear as the struggle cost me repented the glorious self denial And what precedents of selfdenial wholly yours by laws divine and human as I am have you my ever indulgent parents set me
Is there a man I would prefer to him whom my friends are solicitous to commend to my favour
Cannot I in performing my duty to my parents perform all those duties of life which performed may intitle me to a blessed hope
Shall I contend in and through life to carry a point that at the awful close of it will appear to me as nothing—
Let me make a proposal—On a supposition that you Sir that you Madam whose patient goodness to me has been unexampled and every one of my friends favour the Count of Belvedere as much as ever—I have always acknowledged his merits—
Permit me a years consideration from the present time to examine the state of my head and heart and at the end of that year allow me to determine; and I will endeavour my dear parents to make your wishes and my duty honour conscience divested of caprice fancy petulance my sole guides in the result as well as in the discussion The Chevalier Grandison his Lady Father Marescutti and Mrs Beaumont shall be judges between my relations and me if there be occasion
But as it would be unreasonable to expect that the Count of Belvedere should attend an issue so uncertain for I would rather die than give my vows to a man to whom I could not do justice both with regard to head and heart so I make it my earnest request to him that he will look upon himself to be absolutely free to make his own choice and to pursue his own measures as opportunities offer Rejoiced at my heart should I be to have reason to congratulate him on his nuptials with a woman of the soundness of whose mind he could have no doubt and whose heart never knew another attachment
I would humbly propose as a measure highly expedient that the everobliging Chevalier Grandison
and his truly admirable Lady will permit us as soon as possible to depart from England O my friends accuse me not of levity in your hearts I obeyed in the rash voyage hither an Impulse that appeared to me irresistable And let us leave it to his neverforfeited honour to bring over to us as soon as can be convenient his Lady his Sisters and their Lords as they have made us hope And that a family friendship may be cultivated among us as if a legal relation had taken place
But allow me to declare that if my cousin Laurana shall be found to have entertained the least reason to hope that she might one day be Countess of Belvedere that that expectation alone whatever turn my health may take shall be considered as finally determining the Counts expectations on me for I never will be looked upon as the rival of my cousin
And now blessed Virginmother of the God of my hope do thou enable me to be an humble instrument of restoring to the hearts of my honoured and indulgent parents and to those of my affectionate brothers and other friends the tranquility of which I have so unhappily and so long deprived them prays and will every hour pray my ever honoured and ever indulgent Father and Mother
Friday May 25
Your dutifully devoted CLEMENTINA
THE Marquis was alone with his Lady in her dressing room when Camilla carried them this Letter They opened it with impatience They could not contain their joy when they perused it They both declared that it was all that should all that ought to be exacted from het The Bishop Signor Jeronymo and her two cousins on the contents being communicated to them were in cestasies of joy
All that the Count of Belvedere had wished for was that Lady Clementina would give him hope
that if she ever married he might be the happy man and for the sake of this distant hope he was resolved to forego all other engagements Sir Charles was desired to acquaint him with the happy tidings He did with his usual prudence but his joy is extreme
The Marquis and Marchioness were impatient to embrace and thank their beloved Daughter The moment she saw them she threw herself at their feet as they sat together on one settee and were rising to embrace her—O my father O my mother Have I not been perverse in your eyes—It was not I—You can pity me—It was not always in my power to think as I now do My mind was disturbed I sought for tranquility and could no where find it My brother Guiacomo was too precipitating yet in his earnestness to have me marry shewed his disinterestedness He gave me not time as you both thro the advice of the common friend of us all have done The nearest evil was the heaviest to me I sought to avoid that and might have fallen into greater God reward you my father my mother and all my dear friends for the indulgence you have shewn me—To follow me too into foreign climates at an unpropitious season of the year—And for what—Not to chide not to punish me but to restore me to the arms of your parental love—And did you not vouchsafe to enter into conditions with your child—How greatly disordered in my mind must I be if I ever forget such instances of your graciousness
The tender parents pressed her to their bosoms How did her two brothers and Mrs Beaumont applaud her—
O how good said she are you all to me What a malady A malady of the darkest hue was mine that it could fill me with such apprehensions as were able to draw a cloud between your goodness and my gratitude
and make even your indulgence wear the face of hardship to me
The Bishop thought it not adviseable that the Count who hardly knew how to trust himself with his own joy should be presently introduced to her The rejoicing Lover therefore walked into the garden giving way to his agreeable contemplations
Clementina her mind filled with selfcomplacency on the joyful reception her proposal had met with went into the garden intending to take one of her usual walks Laura attending her The Count saw her enter and fearing to disoblige her if he broke in upon her in her retirements profoundly bowed and took a different path but she crossing another alley was near him before he was aware He started but recovering threw himself at her feet—Life of my hope Adorable Lady Clementina said he—But could not at the moment speak another word
She relieved him from his confusion—Rise my Lord said she I crossed to meet you on purpose to exchange a few words with you as you happened to be in the garden
I cannot connot rise till thus prostrate at your feet I have thanked you madam with my whole soul—
No thanks are due my Lord interrupting him God knows what may happen in the next twelve months Rise my Lord He arose As a friend of our house I will respect you So I have heretofore told you But for your own sake for honours for justice sake I think it necessary to tell you you must not make an absolute dependance on me from what I have written to my Parents tho I repent not of what I have written
I will not madam For one year for many years I will await your pleasure If at the end of any limited period after that you have named I cannot be so happy as to engage your favour I will
resign to my destiny—Only mean time permit me to hope
I mentioned my Lord that it was for your own sake that I wished you not to depend upon a contingency Be you free to pursue your own measures Who can say what one two or three years may produce Maladies that have once seized the head generally as I have heard say keep their hold or often returned Have I not very lately been guilty of a great rashness Believe me Sir if at the end of the allowed year I shall have reason to suspect myself I will suffer by myself I ever thought you a worthy man God forbid that I should make a worthy man unhappy That would be to double my own misery
Generous Lady exalted goodness—Permit me I once more beseech you but to hope I will resign to your pleasure whatever it shall finally be and bless you for your determination tho it should doom me to despair
Remember my Lord you are warned You depend upon the regard all our house have for you I owe it duty next to implicit for its unexampled indulgence to me Your reliance on its favour is not a w•ak one But O Count remember I caution you that your dependence on me is not a strong me Be prudent let me not be vexed My heart sickens at the thought of importunity Opposition has its root in importunity If you are as happy as I wish you will be very happy But at present I have no notion that I can ever contribute to make you so
He bent one knee and was going to reply—Adieu adieu said she—Not another word my Lord if you are wise Are not events in the hand of Providence
She hurried from him He was motionless for a few moments His heart however overflowed with hope love and reverence
On his reporting to the Marchioness Mrs Beaumont the two Brothers and me what passed between
the noble Lady and him as above we all congratulated him
The warning Lady Clementina has given you my Lord said Mrs Beaumont is of a piece with her usual greatness of mind since the event referred to is not cannot be in her own power
There is not said Signor Jeronymo there can be but one woman greater than my sister—It is she who can adopt as her dearest friend a young creature of her own Sex in calamity circumstances so delicate and for her sake occasionally forget that she is the wife of the best and most beloved of men
Clementina said the Bishop the Count being withdrawn will now complete her triumph She has upon religious motives refused the man of her inclination the man deservedly beloved and admired by all her friends and by the whole world And now will she from motives of duty accept of another worthy man and thereby lay her parents themselves as well as the most disinterested of brothers under obligation to her—What a pleasure madam to the Marchioness will it be to you to my honoured Lord to my Uncle and even to our Giacomo and still more to his excellent wife to reflect on the patience you have had with her since her last rash step and the indulgence shewn her Clementina now will be all our own
Every one praised Sir Charles and attributed to him the happy prospects before them
Monday May 28
THE Marchioness having been desired to break to Lady Clementina the news of Lauranas death as of a favour she did it with all imaginable tenderness
this morning But the generous lady was affected with it—
O my poor cousin said she—Once she loved me I ever loved her—Had she time given her—On what a sandy foundation do we build our schemes of worldly glory—Poor Laurana—God I hope has taken her to the arms of his mercy
The pious lady and her confessor have shut themselves up in the oratory appropriated for the devotions of this noble family to pray as I presume for the soul of Laurana
Every thing is settled according to a plan laid down by Lady Clementina at the request of all her family The Count and Signor Sebastiano are to set out for Dover on Thursday next In less than a month from their departure the rest of our noble guests are to embark for France in their way home—All but Jeronymo Sir Charles has prevailed that he shall be left behind to try what our English baths may contribute to the perfect reestablishment of his health
This tender point having been referred to his admirable sister she generously consented to his stay with us She has still more generously because unasked released Sir Charles from his promise of attending them back to Italy in consideration of his Harriet since at this time he would not know how to leave her nor she to spare him But the next summer if it be permitted me to look so forward or the succeeding autumn to that we hope to be all happy at Bologna Lady L Lady G and their Lords have promised to accompany us So has Dr Bartlett and we all hope that Sir Edward Beauchamp will not refuse to revisit Italy with his friends
Friday June 1
SIX happy days from the date of the Letter which Lady Clementina wrote to her father and mother
has the Count passed with us the happiest he often declared of his life for in every one of them he was admitted with a freedom that rejoiced his heart to converse with the mistress of his destiny She called upon him more than once in that space of time to behave to her as a Brother to his Sister for this she thinks the uncertainty of what her situation may be a twelvemonth hence requires for both their sakes
Sweetly composed sweetly easy was her whole behaviour to him and to everybody else during these six days The sisterly character was well supported by her to him But in the Count the most ardent the most respectful and even venerating Lover took place of the brotherly one Signor Jeronymo loves his Sister as he loves himself but the eyes of the Count compared with those of Jeronymo demonstrated that there are two sorts of Love yet both ardent and Soul in both
The parting scene between Clementina and the Count was on his side a very fervent on hers a kind one On his knees he pressed with his lips her not withdrawn hand He would have spoken but only could by his eyes which run over—Be happy my Lord of Belvedere said she You have my wishes for your health and safety—Adieu
She was for retiring But the Count and Signor Sebastiano of the latter of whom she had taken leave just before following her a few paces she turned and with a noble composure Adieu once more my two friends said she Take care my Lord of Signor Sebastiano Cousin take care of the Count of Belvedere courtesying to both The Count bowed to the ground speechless As she passed me Lady Grandison said she listing my hand to her lips Sister of my heart the day is fine shall I after you have blessed with your good wishes our parting friends invite you into the garden I
took a cordial leave of the two noble youths and followed her thither
We had a sweet conversation there And it was made still more delightful to us both by Sir Charless joining us in about half an hour for the two Lords would not permit him to attend them one step beyound the court yard though he had his horses in readiness to accompany them some miles on their way
When we saw Sir Charles enter the garden we stood still arm in arm expecting and inviting his approach Sweet sisters Lovely friends said he when come up to us taking a hand of each and joining them bowing on both Let me mark this blessed spot with my eye looking round him then on me—A tear on my Harriets cheek—He dryd it off with my own handkerchief—Friendship dearest creatures will make at pleasure a safe bridge over the narrow seas it will cut an easy passage thro rocks and mountains and make England and Italy one country Kindred souls are always near
In that hope my good Chevalier in that hope my dear Lady Grandison will Clementina be happy though the day of separation must not be far distant And will you here renew your promise that when it shall be convenient to you my dear Lady Grandison you will not fail to grace our Italy with your presence
We do—We do—
Promise me again said the noble Lady I too have marked the spot with my eye standing still and as Sir Charles had done looking round her The Orangery on the righthand that distant clump of Oaklings on the left the Villa the Rivulet before us the Cascade in view that Obelisk behind us—Be This the spot to be recollected as witness to the promise when we are far far distant from each other
We both repeatexd the promise and Sir Charles said and he is drawing a plan accordingly that a little temple should be erected on that very spot to be consecrated to our triple friendship and since she had so happily marked it to be called after her name
On Monday next we are to set out for London One fortnight passed we shall accompany our noble friends to Dover—And there—O my grandmamma how shall we do to part
It is agreed that Mr Lowther and Mr Deane tho the latter I bless God is in good health will next season accompany Signor Jeronymo to Bath Sir Charles proposes to be his visitor there And when I will give permission is the compliment made me Sir Charles proposes to shew him Ireland and his improvements on his estate in that kingdom Will not Lucy be rejoiced at that—I am happy that her Lord and she take so kindly the felicitations I made them both They are always my dear grandmamma my uncle and aunt and all my friends in Northamptonshire sure of the heart of
Their and Your HARRIET GRANDISON
Sat June 16
I GAVE you my dear grandmamma in my two last Letters a an account of our delightful engagements among ourselves principally and nowandthen at public places What a rich portion of time has passed And we have still the promise of a week to come And how let me take a survey of our present happy situation
Every thing that can be adjusted is The Count of Belvedere as by Letters to Signor Jeronymo is on his way to Italy and not unhappy Lady Clementina is mistress of every question and the more studious for that reason of obliging all her friends How joyfully do we all in prospect see a durable tranquillity taking possession of her noble heart The Marquis and Marchioness have not one care written on their heretofore visibly anxious brows Clementina sees as every one does their amended health in their fine countenances wonders at the power she had over them and regrets that she made not what she calls a more grateful and dutiful use of it
Father Marescotti the Bishop Signor Juliano compliment the English air as if that had contributed to the alteration and promise wonders from that and its salubrious baths for Jeronymo
The highest merit is given to the conduct of Sir Charles and to the advice he gave not to precipitate the noble Clementina
Lord and Lady L Lord and Lady G when we are by ourselves felicitate me more than any body else on these joyful changes for they rightly say that I could not but look upon the happiness of Lady Clementina as essential to my own
But your congratulations my dearest grandmamma I most particularly expect that in this whole critical event which brought to England a Lady so deserving of every ones Love not one shadow of doubt has arisen of the tender inviolable affection of the best of men to his grateful Harriet
So peculiarly circumstanced as he was how unaffectedly noble has been his behaviour to his WIFE and to his FRIEND in the presence of both How often tho causelesly because of the nobleness of the Ladys heart have I silently wished him to abate of his outward tenderness to me before her tho such as
became the purest mind—Nothing but the conscious integrity of his own heart above disguises or concealments as his ever was could thus gloriously have carried him thro situations so delicate
He had from the first avowed his friendly his compassionating Love as well as Admiration of this noble Lady That generous avowal prepared his Harriet to expect that he should behave with tenderness to her even had not her transcendent worthiness done honour to every one who paid her honour To her he applauded he exalted his Harriet She was prepared to expect that he would recognize in the face of the sun obligations that he had entered into at the altar And both knew that he was a good man and that a good man cannot allow himself either to palliate or temporize with a duty whether it regarded friendship or a still closer and more sacred union How many difficulties will the character and intervention of a man of undoubted virtue obviate What cannot he effect What force has his example Sir Charles Grandisons Love is a Love to be gloried in Magnanimity and tenderness are united in his noble heart Littleness of any kind has no place in it All that know him are studious to commend themselves to his favourable opinion solicitous about what he will think of them and suppressing common foibles before him find their hearts expand nor know how to be mean
O my God do thou make me thankful for such a Friend Protector Director Husband Increase with my gratitude to THEE my merits to him and my power of obliging him For HIS SAKE spare to him This my grandmamma he bids be my prayer—I know it is yours in the awful hour approaching his Harriet whose life and welfare he assures her are the dearest part of his own
St JamessSquare Monday June 18
NOW at last my dearest grandmamma is the day arrived that we are setting out for Dover We shall lodge at Canterbury this night and reach Dover tomorrow How sad our hearts
Canterbury Monday Night
HERE we are How we look upon one another! The parting of dear friends how grievous—How does Sir Charles endeavour—But Lady Clementina is to outward appearance an Heroine What a grandeur of soul She would not be thought to be concerned at leaving Sir Charles Grandison But I see she is inwardly a sufferer Jeronymo is silent I hope he repents not his stay to oblige his dear friend and us all The Marquis and Marchioness are continually comforting themselves and declare it to be needful with the hope of seeing us in a few months Thank God▪ they have a finer season to go back than they had to come hither And they have found the jewel they had lost
I should have told you that Lord and Lady L and Lord and Lady G took leave of us at Rochester thinking so large a train would be inconvenient to those to whom they wished to do honour How tender was the parting particularly between Lady Clementina and Lady L
Ten oClock Monday Night
I AM in my chamber here Know not what to do with myself—Yet cannot write Must again join company—Is not my Sir Charles in company
Dover Tuesday Night
HERE here we are How foolish to attempt the pen I know not what to do with myself The
vessel is ready every one is ready Tomorrow morning by daylight if the wind—O what company to one another! How does the dear Clementina now melt into tears and tenderness—Dear Lady What prayers has she put up for me What tender blessings has she poured out upon me How have we blessed soothed and endeavoured to console each other What vows of more than sisterly affection—Mrs Beaumont The excellent Mrs Beaumont She now is also affected—She never loved at so short an acquaintance she says any mortal as she loves me She blesses my dear Sir Charles for his tender yet manly Love to me—We have engaged to correspond with each other and in Italian chiefly as with Lady Clementina in order to perfect myself in that language and to make myself as the Marchioness fondly says an Italian woman and her other Daughter
Dover Wednesday Morning
CRUEL tenderness They would not let me see them embark Sir Charles laid his commands upon me I will call them so because I obeyed reluctantly not to quit my chamber OverNight we parted What a solemn parting Sir Charles and Mrs Beaumont only—But are they gone They are Indeed they are—Sir Charles to whom seas and mountains are nothing when either the service or pleasure of his friends call upon him is embarked with them He will see them landed and accommodated at Calais and then will return to Dover to his expecting Harriet His Jeronymo his Beauchamp and good Dr Bartlett are left to protect and comfort her What a tender farewel between the Doctor and Father Marescotti last night They also are to be constant correspondents The welfare of each family is to be one of their subjects
Lady Clementina was not afraid of passing a boistrous Sea and the Bay of Biscay in a wintry season when she pursued the flight that then was first
in her view Her noble Mother while she was in search of her daughter had no fears But now the pangs of uncertainty and ardor of impatience being over they both very thankfully embraced Sir Charless offer his resolution I should say for he would not have been refused to accompany them over The Marquis complimented him that every one would think themselves safe in the company of so good a man—How will they be able to part with him He with them—But in a twelvemonth we shall all God willing meet again and if the Almighty hear our prayers have cause to rejoice in Lady Clementinas confirmed state of mind
Friday Morning
THE best of Men of Friends of Husbands is returned from Calais chearful gay lively lovely fraught with a thousand blessings for his Harriet We shall set out and hope to reach Canterbury this night on our return to town
Sir Charles assures me that he left the dear Sister of my heart not unhappy She was all herself at parting His own words magnanimous yet condescendingly affectionate His words also as one who was not afraid or ashamed of her Sisterly Love for him He took leave of her with a tenderness worthy of his friendship for her a tenderness that the Brave and the Good ever shew to those who are deserving of their Love
He particularly recommended it to her Father Mother the Bishop and Father Marescotti the two latter to enforce it upon the General that they would not urge the noble Lady not even upon the expectation she had given them but leave her wholly to her own will and her own way They all promised they would and the poor Laurana being now no more undertook for the General
He tells me that he had engaged the Court of Belvedere on his departure from England to promise
to make his court to her only by silent assiduities and by those actions of beneficence and generosity which were so natural to him and so worthy of his splendid fortune
St Jamesssquare Sunday Morning
LAST night blessed be God we came hither in health and spirits We are preparing for church There shall we pray for the travellers and be thankful for ourselves
I expect Lord and Lady L Lord and Lady G and my cousin Reevess according to the following billet from the everlively Lady G
My Harriet thank God is arrived and in health and spirits Caroline and Mrs Reeves I know will long to congratulate you I have therefore sent to invite them to dinner with you Their good men and mine of course must be admitted I know my Brother will not be displeased He is indulgent to all the whimsies of his Charlotte that carry in the face of them as this does affectionate freedom Besides it is stealing time for him I know he will not long be in town and must see us all before he leaves it He will hasten to the Hall in order to pursue the glorious schemes of benevolence which he has formed and in which hundreds will find their account
But let the green damask bedchamber be got in a little sort of order for a kind of nursery Where we dine we sup My marmouset must be with me you know I have bespoke Lady Ls—Mrs Reeves is to bring hers They are to crow at one another; and we are to have a squalling concern As it is Sunday I will sing an anthem to them My pug will not crow if I dont sing Yet I am afraid the little pagans will be less alive to a Christian hymn than to the sprightlier Phillida Phillida of Tom Durfey I long
to see how my agreeable Italian poor thing bears the absence of his father and mother Bid him rub himself up and look chearful or I shall take him into our Nursery to compleate the chorus when our brats are in a squalling fit Adieu till tomorrow my dear and everdear Harriet—
Lady G is a charming nurse She must be extraordinary in whatever she does Signor Jeronymo admires her of all women But she sometimes makes him look about him He rejoices that he is with us and is in charming spirits He is extremely fond of children particulary so of Lady Gs—It is indeed one of the finest infants I ever saw And he calls it after her His Marmouset hugging it twenty times a day to his goodnatured bosom It would delight you to hear her sing to it and to see her toss it about Such a Settingout in matrimony who would have expected Charlotte to make such a wife mother nurse—Her brother is charmed with her He draws her into the pleasantry that she loves lays himself open to it and Lord G fares the better for their vivacity Sir Charles generally contrives to do him honour by appealing to him when Charlotte is as he complains overlively with himself But that is in truth when he himself takes her down and compliments her as if she were an overmatch for him She often at these times shakes her head at me as if she were sensible of his superiority in her own way
But how I trifle—I am ready quite ready my dear Sir Charles Lead your evergrateful Harriet to the house of the Allgood Allmerciful Allmighty There shall I as I always do edify by your chearful piety
Sunday Afternoon
A NEW engagement and of a melancholy kind calls Sir Charles away from me again In how
many ways may a good man be serviceable to his fellowcreatures
About two hours ago a near relation of Sir Hargrave Pollexfel came hither in Sir Hargraves chariatandsix the horses smoaking to beg he would set out with him if possible to the unhappy mans house on the forest where he has been for a fortnight past resigned to his last hope and usually the physicians last prescription The Air The gentlemans name is Pollexfen He will if the poor man die childless enjoy the greatest part of his large estate Mr Pollexfen is a worthy man I belive notwithstanding Sir Hargraves former disregard to him and jealousies a for after he had delivered his message from his cousin which was to beseech the comfott of Sir Charlees presence and to declare that he could not die in peace unless he saw him he seconded Sir Hargraves request with tears in his eyes and an earnestness that had both honesty and compassion in it Sir Charles wanted not this to induce him to go for he looks upon visiting the Sick in such urgent cases as an indispensable duty And waiting but till horses had baited he set out with Mr Pollexfen with the utmost chearfulness only saying to me—It is a wonder if the poor man be sensible that he thought not of Dr Bartlett rather than of me
Mr Merceda Mr Bagenhall and now Sir Hargrave Pollexfen in the prime of their Youth—So lately revelling in full health even to wantonness—Companions in iniquity—In so few months—Thou Almighty comfort the poor man in his last agonies and receive him From my very soul I forgive him those injuries which I—But well I may—Since great as they were they ptoved the means
of my being brought acquainted with the Lord of my wishes the best of men
Having filled my paper with the journal of near a week I will conclude here my dear grandmamma with every tender wish and servent prayer for the health and happiness of all my dear friends in Northamptonshire who so kindly partake in that of
Their and Your HARRIET GRANDISON
Wednesday July 4
AH my grandmamma—The poor Sir Hargrave—
Sir Charles returned but this morning He found him sensible He rejoiced to see him He instantly begged his prayers He wrung his hands wept lamented his past free life Fain said he would I have been trusted with a few years trial of my penitence I have wearied heaven with my prayers to this purpose I deserved not perhaps that they should be heard My conscience cruelly told me that I had neglected a multitude of opportunities slighted a multitude of warnings—O Sir Charles Grandison It is a hard hard thing to die In the prime of youth too—Such noble possessions—
And then he warned his surrounding friends and made comparisons between Sir Charless happiness and his own misery Sir Charles at his request sat up with him all night He endeavoured to administer comfort to him and called out for mercy for him when the poor man could only by expressive looks join in the solemn invocation Sir Hargrave had begged he would close his eyes He did He staid to the last painful moment Judge what
such a heart as Sir Charless must have felt on the awful occasion
Poor Sir Hargrave Pollexfen May he have met with mercy from the Allmerciful
He gave his will into Sir Charless hands soon after he came down He has made him his sole executor Have you not been told that Sir Charles had heretofore reconciled him to his relations and heirs at Law He had the pleasure of finding the reconciliation sincere The poor man spoke kindly to them all They were tenderly careful of him He acknowleged their care
I cannot write for tears—The poor man in the last solemn act of his life has been intendedly kind but really cruel to me—I should have been a sincere mourner for him A life so mispent without this act of regard for me—He has left me as a small atonement he calls it for the terrors he once gave me a very large Legacy in money Sir Charles has not yet told me what and his jewels and plate—And he has left Sir Charles a noble one besides He died immensely rich Sir Charles is grieved at both Legacies And the more as he cannot give them back to the heirs for they declare that he bound them under a solemn oath and by a curse if they broke it not to except back either from Sir Charles or me the large bequests he told them he had made us And they assured Sir Charles that they would be religiously bound by it
Many unhappy objects will be the better for these bequests Sir Charles tells me that he will not interfere no not so much as by his advice in the disposal of mine You madam and my aunt Selby must direct me when it comes into my hands Sir Charles intends that the poor mans memory shall receive true honour from the disposition of his Legacy to him He is pleased with his Harriet for the concern she expressed for this unhappy man
The most indulgent of husbands finds out some reason to praise her for every thing she says and does But could HE be otherwise than the best of HUSBANDS who was the most dutiful of SONS who is the most affectionate of BROTHERS the most faithful of FRIENDS Who is good upon principle in every relation of life
What my dear grandmamma is the boasted character of most of those who are called HEROES to the unostentatious merit of a TRULY GOOD MAN In what a variety of amiable lights does such a one appear In how many ways is he a blessing and a joy to his fellowcreatures
And this blessing this joy your Harriet can call more peculiarly her own
My single heart methinks is not big enough to contain the gratitude which such a Lot demands Let the overflowings of your pious joy my dearest grandmamma join with my thankfulness in paying part of the immense debt for
Your undeservedly Happy HARRIET GRANDISON