Samuel Richardson
Pamela or
Virtue Rewarded
In a series of familiar letters from a beautiful young damsel to her parents
and afterwards in her exalted condition between her and persons of figure and
quality upon the most important and entertaining subjects in genteel life
Publishd in order to cultivate the principles of virtue and religion in the
minds of the youth of both sexes
Preface by the Editor
IF to Divert and Entertain and at the same time to Instruct and Improve the
Minds of the YOUTH of both Sexes
IF to inculcate Religion and Morality in so easy and agreeable a manner as
shall render them equally delightful and profitable to the younger Class of
Readers as well as worthy of the Attention of Persons of maturer Years and
Understandings
IF to set forth in the most exemplary Lights the Parental the Filial and
the Social Duties and that from low to high Life
IF to paint VICE in its proper Colours to make it deservedly Odious and to
set VIRTUE in its own amiable Light to make it truly Lovely
IF to draw Characters justly and to support them equally
IF to raise a Distress from natural Causes, and to excite Compassion from
proper Motives
IF to teach the Man of Fortune how to use it the Man of Passion how to
subdue it and the Man of Intrigue how gracefully and with Honour to himself
to reclaim
IF to give practical Examples worthy to be followed in the most critical
and affecting Cases by the modest Virgin the chaste Bride and the obliging
Wife
IF to effect all these good Ends in so probable so natural so lively a
manner as shall engage the Passions of every sensible Reader and strongly
interest them in the edifying Story
AND all without raising a single Idea throughout the Whole that shall shock
the exactest Purity even in those tender Instances where the exactest Purity
would be most apprehensive
IF these embellished with a great Variety of entertaining Incidents be
laudable or worthy Recommendations of any Work the Editor of the following
Letters which have their Foundation in Truth and Nature ventures to assert
that all these desirable Ends are obtained in these Sheets And as he is
therefore confident of the favourable Reception which he boldly bespeaks for
this little Work he thinks any further Preface or Apology for it unnecessary
And the rather for two Reasons 1st Because he can Appeal from his own
Passions which have been uncommonly moved in persuing these engaging Scenes
to the Passions of Every one who shall read them with the least Attention And
in the next place because an Editor may reasonably be supposed to judge with an
Impartiality which is rarely to be met with in an Author towards his own Works
The Editor
To the Editor of the Piece intitled Pamela or Virtue Rewarded
Dear Sir
I have had inexpressible Pleasure in the Perusal of your Pamela It intirely
answers the Character you give of it in your Preface nor have you said one Word
too much in Commendation of a Piece that has Advantages and Excellencies
peculiar to itself. For besides the beautiful Simplicity of the Style and a
happy Propriety and Clearness of Expression the Letters being written under the
immediate Impression of every Circumstance which occasioned them and that to
those who had a Right to know the fair Writers most secret Thoughts the
several Passions of the Mind must of course be more affectingly described and
Nature may be traced in her undisguised Inclinations with much more Propriety
and Exactness than can possibly be found in a Detail of Actions long past
which are never recollected with the same Affections Hopes and Dreads with
which they were felt when they occurred
This little Book will infallibly be looked upon as the hitherto muchwanted
Standard or Pattern for this Kind of Writing For it abounds with lively Images
and Pictures with Incidents natural surprising and perfectly adapted to the
Story with Circumstances interesting to Persons in common Life as well as to
those in exalted Stations The greatest Regard is every where paid in it to
Decency and to every Duty of Life There is a constant Fitness of the Style to
the Persons and Characters described Pleasure and Instruction here always go
hand in hand Vice and Virtue are set in constant Opposition and Religion
everywhere inculcated in its native Beauty and chearful Amiableness not
dressed up in stiff melancholy or gloomy Forms on one hand nor yet on the
other debased below its due Dignity and noble Requisites in Compliment to a
too fashionable but depraved Taste And this I will boldly say that if its
numerous Beauties are added to its excellent Tendency it will be found worthy a
Place not only in all Families especially such as have in them young Persons
of either Sex but in the Collections of the most curious and polite Readers
For as it borrows none of its Excellencies from the romantic Flights of
unnatural Fancy its being founded in Truth and Nature and built upon
Experience will be a lasting Recommendation to the Discerning and Judicious
while the agreeable Variety of Occurrences and Characters in which it abounds
will not fail to engage the Attention of the gay and more sprightly Readers
The moral Reflections and Uses to be drawn from the several Parts of this
admirable History are so happily deduced from a Croud of different Events and
Characters in the Conclusion of the Work that I shall say the less on that
Head But I think the Hints you have given me should also prefatorily be given
to the Publick viz. That it will appear from several Things mentioned in the
Letters that the Story must have happened within these Thirty Years past That
you have been obliged to vary some of the Names of Persons Places etc and to
disguise a few of the Circumstances in order to avoid giving Offence to some
Persons who would not chuse to be pointed out too plainly in it tho they
would be glad it may do the Good so laudably intended by the Publication And as
you have in Confidence submitted to my Opinion some of those Variations I am
much pleased that you have so managed the Matter as to make no Alteration in
the Facts and at the same time have avoided the digressive Prolixity too
frequently used on such Occasions
Little Book charming Pamela face the World and never doubt of finding
Friends and Admirers not only in thine own Country but far from Home where
thou mayst give an Example of Purity to the Writers of a neighbouring Nation
which now shall have an Opportunity to receive English Bullion in Exchange for
its own Dross which has so long passed current among us in Pieces abounding
with all the Levities of its volatile Inhabitants The reigning Depravity of the
Times has yet left Virtue many Votaries Of their Protection you need not
despair May every headstrong Libertine whose Hands you reach be reclaimed
and every tempted Virgin who reads you imitate the Virtue and meet the Reward
of the highmeriting tho lowdescended Pamela I am Sir
Your most Obedient
and Faithful Servant
J B D F
To my worthy Friend the Editor of Pamela etc
Sir
I return the Manuscript of Pamela by the Bearer which I have read with a
great deal of Pleasure It is written with that Spirit of Truth and agreeable
Simplicity which tho much wanted is seldom found in those Pieces which are
calculated for the Entertainment and Instruction of the Publick It carries
Conviction in every Part of it and the Incidents are so natural and
interesting that I have gone handinhand and sympathizd with the pretty
Heroine in all her Sufferings and been extremely anxious for her Safety under
the Apprehensions of the bad Consequences which I expected every Page would
ensue from the laudable Resistance she made I have interested myself in all her
Schemes of Escape been alternately pleasd and angry with her in her Restraint
pleasd with the little Machinations and Contrivances she set on foot for her
Release and angry for suffering her Fears to defeat them always lamenting
with a most sensible Concern the Miscarriages of her Hopes and Projects In
short the whole is so affecting that there is no reading it without uncommon
Concern and Emotion Thus far only as to the Entertainment it gives
As to Instruction and Morality the Piece is full of both It shews Virtue
in the strongest Light and renders the Practice of it amiable and lovely The
beautiful Sufferer keeps it ever in her View without the least Ostentation or
Pride she has it so strongly implanted in her that thro the whole Course of
her Sufferings she does not so much as hesitate once whether she shall
sacrifice it to Liberty and Ambition or not but as if there were no other way
to free and save herself carries on a determind Purpose to persevere in her
Innocence and wade with it throughout all Difficulties and Temptations or
perish under them It is an astonishing Matter and well worth our most serious
Consideration that a young beautiful Girl in the low Scene of Life and
Circumstance in which Fortune placed her without the Advantage of a Friend
capable to relieve and protect her or any other Education than what occurrd to
her from her own Observation and little Reading in the Course of her Attendance
on her excellent Mistress and Benefactress could after having a Taste of Ease
and Plenty in a higher Sphere of Life than what she was born and first brought
up in resolve to return to her primitive Poverty rather than give up her
Innocence I say it is surprizing that a young Person so circumstanced
could in Contempt of profferd Grandeur on the one side and in Defiance of
Penury on the other so happily and prudently conduct herself thro such a
Series of Perplexities and Troubles and withstand the alluring Baits and
almost irresistible Offers of a fine Gentleman so universally admired and
esteemed for the Agreeableness of his Person and good Qualities among all his
Acquaintance defeat all his Measures with so much Address and oblige him at
last to give over his vain Pursuit and sacrifice his Pride and Ambition to
Virtue and become the Protector of that Innocence which he so long and so
indefatigably labourd to supplant And all this without ever having entertaind
the least previous Design or Thought for that Purpose No Art used to inflame
him no Coquetry practised to tempt or intice him and no Prudery or Affectation
to tamper with his Passions but on the contrary artless and unpractised in
the Wiles of the World all her Endeavours and even all her Wishes tended only
to render herself as unamiable as she could in his Eyes Tho at the same time
she is so far from having any Aversion to his Person that she seems rather
prepossessd in his Favour and admires his Excellencies whilst she condemns
his Passion for her A glorious Instance of Self-denial Thus her very Repulses
became Attractions The more she resisted the more she charmd and the very
Means she used to guard her Virtue the more indangerd it by inflaming his
Passions Till at last by Perseverance and a brave and resolute Defence the
Besieged not only obtaind a glorious Victory over the Besieger but took him
Prisoner too
I am charmed with the beautiful Reflections she makes in the Course of her
Distresses her Soliloquies and little Reasonings with herself are exceeding
pretty and entertaining She pours out all her Soul in them before her Parents
without Disguise so that one may judge of nay almost see the inmost Recesses
of her Mind A pure clear Fountain of Truth and Innocence a Magazine of Virtue
and unblemishd Thoughts
I cant conceive why you should hesitate a Moment as to the Publication of
this very natural and uncommon Piece I could wish to see it out in its own
native Simplicity which will affect and please the Reader beyond all the
Strokes of Oratory in the World for those will but spoil it and should you
permit such a murdering Hand to be laid upon it to gloss and tinge it over with
superflous and needless Decorations which like too much Drapery in Sculpture
and Statuary will but incumber it it may disguise the Facts marr the
Reflections and unnaturalize the Incidents so as to be lost in a Multiplicity
of fine idle Words and Phrases and reduce our Sterling Substance into an empty
Shadow or rather frenchify our English Solidity into Froth and Whip No let us
have Pamela as Pamela wrote it in her own Words without Amputation or
Addition Produce her to us in her neat Country Apparel such as she appeard
in on her intended Departure to her Parents for such best becomes her
Innocence and beautiful Simplicity Such a Dress will best edify and entertain
The flowing Robes of Oratory may indeed amuse and amaze but will never strike
the Mind with solid Attention
In short Sir a Piece of this Kind is much wanted in the World which is
but too much as well as too early debauched by pernicious Novels I know
nothing Entertaining of that Kind that one might venture to recommend to the
Perusal much less the Imitation of the Youth of either Sex All that I have
hitherto read tends only to corrupt their Principles mislead their Judgments
and initiate them into Gallantry and loose Pleasures
Publish then this good this edifying and instructive little Piece for
their Sakes The Honour of Pamelas Sex demands Pamela at your Hands to shew
the World an Heroine almost beyond Example in an unusual Scene of Life whom
no Temptations or Sufferings could subdue It is a fine and glorious
Original for the Fair to copy out and imitate Our own Sex too require it of
you to free us in some measure from the Imputation of being incapable of the
Impressions of Virtue and Honour and to shew the Ladies that we are not
inflexible while they are so
In short the Cause of Virtue calls for the Publication of such a Piece as
this Oblige then Sir the concurrent Voices of both Sexes and give us Pamela
for the Benefit of Mankind And as I believe its Excellencies cannot be long
unknown to the World and that there will not be a Family without it so I make
no Doubt but every Family that has it will be much improvd and betterd by it
Twill form the tender Minds of Youth for the Reception and Practice of Virtue
and Honour confirm and establish those of maturer Years on good and steady
Principles reclaim the Vicious and mend the Age in general insomuch that as I
doubt not Pamela will become the bright Example and Imitation of all the
fashionable young Ladies of Great Britain so the truly generous Benefactor and
Rewarder of her exemplary Virtue will be no less admired and imitated among the
Beau Monde of our own Sex I am
Your affectionate Friend etc
Introduction to this Second Edition
The kind Reception which this Piece has met with from the Publick a large
Impression having been carried off in less than Three Months deserves not only
Acknowledgment but that some Notice should be taken of the Objections that have
hitherto come to hand against a few Passages in it that so the Work may be
rendered as unexceptionable as possible and of consequence the fitter to
answer the general Design of it which is to promote Virtue and cultivate the
Minds of the Youth of both Sexes
But Difficulties having arisen from the different Opinions of Gentlemen
some of whom applauded the very Things that others found Fault with it was
thought proper to submit the Whole to the Judgment of a Gentleman of the most
distinguishd Taste and Abilities the Result of which will be seen in the
subsequent Pages
We begin with the following Letter at the Desire of several Gentlemen to
whom on a very particular Occasion it was communicated and who wishd to see
it prefixed to the New Edition It was directed
To the Editor of Pamela
Dear Sir
You have agreeably deceivd me into a Surprize which it will be as hard to
express as the Beauties of Pamela Though I opend this powerful little Piece
with more Expectation than from common Designs of like Promise because it came
from your Hands for my Daughters yet who could have dreamt he should find
under the modest Disguise of a Novel all the Soul of Religion Goodbreeding
Discretion Goodnature Wit Fancy Fine Thought and Morality I have done
nothing but read it to others and hear others again read it to me ever since
it came into my Hands and I find I am likely to do nothing else for I know not
how long yet to come because if I lay the Book down it comes after me When
it has dwelt all Day long upon the Ear It takes Possession all Night of the
Fancy It has Witchcraft in every Page of it but it is the Witchcraft of
Passion and Meaning Who is there that will not despise the false empty Pomp of
the Poets when he observes in this little unpretending mild Triumph of
Nature, the whole Force of Invention and Genius creating new Powers of Emotion
and transplanting Ideas of Pleasure into that unweeded low Garden the Heart
from the dry and sharp Summit of Reason?
Yet I confess there is One in the World of whom I think with still
greater Respect than of Pamela and That is of the wonderful AUTHOR of Pamela
Pray Who is he Dear Sir and where and how has he been able to hide
hitherto such an encircling and allmastering Spirit He possesses every
Quality that Art could have charmd by yet has lent it to and conceald it
in, Nature. The Comprehensiveness of his Imagination must be truly prodigious
It has stretchd out this diminutive mere Grain of Mustardseed a poor
Girls little innocent Story into a Resemblance of That Heaven which the
Best of Good Books has compard it to All the Passions are His in their most
close and abstracted Recesses and by selecting the most delicate and yet at
the same time most powerful of their Springs thereby to act wind and
manage the Heart He moves us every where with the Force of a Tragedy
What is there throughout the Whole that I do not sincerely admire I
admire in it the strong distinguishd Variety and picturesque glowing
Likeness to Life of the Characters I know hear see and live among em All
and if I coud paint coud return you their Faces I admire in it the noble
Simplicity Force Aptness and Truth of so many modest oeconomical moral
prudential religious satirical and cautionary Lessons which are introducd
with such seasonable Dexterity and with so polishd and exquisite a Delicacy
of Expression and Sentiment that I am only apprehensive for the Interests of
Virtue lest some of the finest and most touching of those elegant Strokes of
Goodbreeding Generosity and Reflection shoud be lost under the too gross
Discernment of an unfeeling Majority of Readers for whose Coarseness however
they were kindly designd as the most useful and charitable Correctives
One of the bestjudgd Peculiars of the Plan is that These Instructions
being conveyd as in a Kind of Dramatical Representation by those beautiful
Scenes Her own Letters and Journals who acts the most moving and suffering
Part we feel the Force in a threefold Effect from the Motive the Act and
the Consequence
But what above All I am charmd with is the amiable Goodnature of the
Author who I am convincd has one of the best and most generous Hearts of
Mankind because mismeasuring other Minds by His Own he can draw Every
thing to Perfection but Wickedness I became inextricably in Love with this
delightful Defect of his Malice for I found it owing to an Excess in his
Honesty Only observe Sir with what virtuous Reluctance he complies with the
Demands of his Story when he stands in need of some blamable Characters Tho
his Judgment compels him to mark em with disagreeable Colourings so that they
make an odious Appearance at first He cant forbear by an unexpected and
gradual Decline from Themselves to soften and transmute all the Horror
conceivd for their Baseness till we are arrivd through insensible Stages at
an Inclination to forgive it intirely
I must venture to add without mincing the matter what I really believe of
this Book It will live on through Posterity with such unbounded Extent of
Good Consequences that Twenty Ages to come may be the Better and Wiser for its
Influence It will steal first imperceptibly into the Hearts of the Young and
the Tender where It will afterwards guide and moderate their Reflections and
Resolves when grown Older And so a gradual moral Sunshine of unaustere and
compassionate Virtue shall break out upon the World from this Trifle for
such I dare answer for the Author His Modesty misguides him to think it No
Applause therefore can be too high for such Merit And let me abominate the
contemptible Reserves of meanspirited Men who while they but hesitate their
Esteem with Restraint can be fluent and uncheckd in their Envy In an Age
so deficient in Goodness Every such Virtue as That of this Author is a
salutary Angel in Sodom And One who coud stoop to conceal a Delight he
receives from the Worthy woud be equally capable of submitting to an
Approbation of the Praise of the Wicked
I was thinking just now as I returnd from a Walk in the Snow on that Old
Roman Policy of Exemptions in Favour of Men who had given a few bodily
Children to the Republick What superior Distinction ought our Country to find
but that Policy and We are at Variance for Reward of this Father of Millions
of Minds which are to owe new Formation to the future Effect of his Influence
Upon the whole as I never met with so pleasing so honest and so truly
deserving a Book I shoud never have done if I explaind All my Reasons for
admiring its Author If it is not a Secret oblige me so far as to tell me his
Name for since I feel him the Friend of my Soul it would be a Kind of
Violation to retain him a Stranger I am not able to thank you enough for
this highly acceptable Present And as for my Daughters They have taken into
their Own Hands the Acknowledgment due from their Gratitude I am
Dear Sir
Your etc
Dec 17 1740
Abstract of a second Letter from the Same Gentleman
» No Sentiments which I have here or in my last expressd of the sweet
Pamela being more than the bare Truth which every Man must feel who lends his
Ear to the inchanting Prattler why does the Authors Modesty mislead his
Judgment to suspect the Style wants Polishing No Sir there is an Ease a
natural Air a dignifyd Simplicity and measured Fullness in it that
resembling Life outglows it He has reconciled the Pleasing to the Proper The
Thought is everywhere exactly cloathd by the Expression And becomes its Dress
as roundly and as close as Pamela her Countryhabit Remember tho she put it
on with humble Prospect of descending to the Level of her Purpose it adornd
her with such unpresumd Increase of Loveliness sat with such neat Propriety
of Elegant Neglect about her that it threw out All her Charms with tenfold
and resistless Influence And so dear Sir it will be always found When
modest Beauty seeks to hide itself by casting off the Pride of Ornament it but
displays itself without a Covering And so becoming more distinguished by its
Want of Drapery grows stronger from its purposd Weakness«
There were formed by an anonymous Gentleman the following Objections to some
Passages in the Work
1 That the Style ought to be a little raised at least so soon as Pamela knows
the Gentlemans Love is honourable and when her Diffidence is changed to Ease
And from about the fourth Day after Marriage it should be equal to the Rank she
is raisd to and charged to fill becomingly
2 That to avoid the Idea apt to be joind with the Word Squire the
Gentleman should be styled Sir James or Sir John etc and Lady Davers in a new
Edition might procure for him the Title of a Baronet
3 That if the sacred Name were seldomer repeated it would be better for
that the Wise Mans Advice is Be not righteous overmuch
4 That the Penance which Pamela suffers from Lady Davers might be
shortend That she is too timorous after owning her Marriage to that Lady and
ought to have a little more Spirit and get away sooner out at the Window or
call her own Servants to protect and carry her to her Husbands Appointment
5 That Females are too apt to be struck with Images of Beauty and that the
Passage where the Gentleman is said to span the Waist of Pamela with his Hands
is enough to ruin a Nation of Women by Tightlacing
6 That the Word naughty had better be changed to some other as Bad
Faulty Wicked Vile Abominable Scandalous Which in most Places would give an
Emphasis for which recourse must otherwise be had to the innocent Simplicity of
the Writer an Idea not necessary to the Moral of the Story nor of Advantage to
the Character of the Heroine
7 That the Words p 361 Foolish Thing that I am had better be Foolish
that I am The same Gentleman observes by way of Postscript that Jokes are
often more severe and do more Mischief than more solid Objections and would
have one or two Passages alterd to avoid giving Occasion for the Supposition
of a double Entendre particularly in two Places which he mentions viz p 289
and 292
He is pleased to take notice of several other Things of less Moment some of
which are merely typographical and very kindly expresses on the Whole a high
Opinion of the Performance and thinks it may do a great deal of Good For all
which as well as for his Objections the Editor gives him a very sincere
Thanks
Others are of Opinion That the Scenes in many Places in the Beginning
especially are too low and that the Passions of Lady Davers in particular
are carried too high and above Nature
And others have intimated That Pamela ought for Example sake to have
dischargd Mrs Jewkes from her Service
These are the most material Objections that have come to hand all which are
considered in the following Extracts from some of the most beautiful Letters
that have been written in any Language
»The Gentlemans Advice not to alter Pamela at all was both friendly and
solidly just I run in with full Sail to his Anchorage that the low Scenes
are no more out of Nature, than the high Passions of proud Lady Davers Out of
Nature, do they say Tis my Astonishment how Men of Letters can read with such
absent Attention They are so far from Out of Nature, They are absolute Nature
herself or if they must be confessd her Resemblance they are such a
Resemblance at least as our true Face gives our Face in the Lookingglass
I wonder indeed what it is that the Gentlemen who talk of Low Scenes
woud desire should be understood by the Epithet Nothing properly speaking
is low that suits well with the Place it is raisd to The Passions of
Nature are the same in the Lord and his Coachman All that makes them seem
different consists in the Degrees in the Means and the Air whereto or
wherewith they indulge em If in painting Distinctions like these which
arise but from the Forms of Mens Manners drawn from Birth Education and
Custom a Writer falls short of his Characters there his Scene is a low one
indeed whatever high Fortune it flatterd But to imagine that Persons of Rank
are above a Concern for what is thought felt or acted by others of their
Species between whom and themselves is no Difference except such as was owing
to Accident is to reduce Human Nature to a Lowness too low for the Truth of
her Frailty
In Pamela in particular we owe All to her Lowness It is to the docile
Effects of this Lowness of that amiable Girl in her Birth her Condition her
Hopes and her Vanities in every thing in short but her Virtue that her
Readers are indebted for the moral Reward of that Virtue And if we are to
look for the Low among the Rest of the Servants less lovely tho they are than
a Pamela there is something however so glowingly painted in the Lines whereby
the Author has markd their Distinctions Something so movingly forceful in
the Grief at their Parting and Joy at the happy Return Something so finely
at once and so strongly and feelingly varied even in the smallest and least
promising little Family Incidents that I need only appeal from the Heads to
the Hearts of the Objectors themselves whether these are low Scenes to be
censurd
And as for the opposite Extreme they woud quarrel with the highpassiond
and untamd Lady Davers I coud direct em to a Dozen or two of Quality
Originals from whom with Exception perhaps of her Wit one woud swear the
Author had taken her Copy What a Sum might these Objectors ensure to be
paid by the Husbands and Sons of such termagant hermaphrodite Minds upon
their making due Proof that they were no longer to be found in the Kingdom
I know you are too just to imagine me capable of giving any other Opinion
than my bestweighd and true one But because it is fit you should have
Reasons in Support of a Judgment that can neither deserve nor expect an
implicit Reception I will run over the Anonymous Letter I herewith return you
and note with what Lightness even Men of goodnaturd Intention fall into
Mistakes by Neglect in too hasty Perusals which their Benevolence woud take
Pleasure in blushing at when they discover their Weakness in a cooler Revisal
The Writer of this Letter is for having the Style raisd after Pamelas
Advance in her Fortune But surely This was hasty Advice because as the
Letters are writ to her Parents it woud have lookd like forgetting and in
some sort insulting the Lowliness of their inferior Condition to have assumd
a new Air in her Language in Place of retaining a steady Humility But here
it must not be passd unobservd that in her Reports of Conversations that
followd her Marriage she does aptly and beautifully heighten her Style and
her Phrases still returning however to her decent Simplicity in her Addresses
to her Father and Mother
I am against giving a Gentleman who has ennobled himself by reforming his
Vices and rewarding the Worth of the Friendless the unnecessary new Toy of a
Title It is all strong in Nature, as it stands in the Letters and I dont see
how Greatness from Titles can add Likeness or Power to the Passions So
complete a Resemblance of Truth stands in need of no borrowd Pretensions
The Only of this Writers Objections which I think carries Weight is
That which advises some little Contraction of the Prayers and Appeals to the
Deity I say little Contraction for they are nobly and sincerely pathetic And
I say it only in Fear lest if fansied too long by the fashionably Averse to
the Subject Minds which most want the purposd Impression might hazard the
Loss of its Benefit by passing over those pious Reflections which if shorter
would catch their Attention
Certainly the Gentlemans Objection against the Persecution that Pamela
suffers from Lady Davers in respect to the Relation this Madwoman bears to the
Brother is the rashest of All his Advices And when he thinks she ought rather
to have assumd the Protection of her Servants he seems unaware of the probable
Consequence where there was a Puppy of Quality in the Case who had even
without Provocation drawn his Sword on the poor passive PAMELA Far from
bearing a Thought of exciting an abler Resentment to the Danger of a Quarrel
with so worthless a Coxcomb how charmingly natural apprehensive and generous
is her Silence during the Recital she makes of her Sufferings with regard to
this masculine Part of the Insult as also her Prevention of Mrs Jewkess less
delicate Bluntness when she was beginning to complain of the whelp Lords
Impertinence
If I were not afraid of a Pun I shoud tell the anonymous Letterwriter
that he made a too tightlaced Objection where he quarrels with the spannd
Waist of Pamela What in the Name of Unshapliness coud he find to complain
of in a beautiful Girl of Sixteen who was born out of Germany and had not
yet reachd ungraspable Roundness These are wonderful Sinkings from
Purpose where a Man is considering such mental and passionate Beauties as
this Gentleman professd to be touchd by
But when he goes on to object against the Word naughty as applyd in the
Phrase naughty Master I grow mortified in Fear of our human Sufficiency
compard with our aptness to blunder For here tis plain this Director of
Anothers Discernment is quite blind Himself to an Elegance one woud have
thought it impossible not to be struck by Faulty wicked abominable
scandalous which are the angry Adjectives he prefers to that sweet one woud
have carried Marks of her Rage not Affliction whereas naughty contains in
One single significant Petulance twenty thousand inexpressible Delicacies It
insinuates at once all the beautiful Struggle between her Contempt of his
Purpose and tender Regard for his Person her Gratitude to Himself and his
Family her Recollection of his superior Condition There is in the elegant
Choice of this halfkind halfpeevish Word a neverenough to be praisd
speaking Picture of the Conflict betwixt her Disdain and her Reverence See
Sir the Reason I had for apprehending some Danger that the refind Generosity
in many of the most charming of the Sentiments woud be lost upon the too
coarse Conception of some for whose Use the Author intended them
It is the same Case again in foolish Thing that I am which this nice
unnice Gentleman woud advise you to change into foolish that I am He does
not seem to have tasted the pretty Contempt of Herself the submissive
Diminutive so distant from Vanity yet allayd by the gentle Reluctance in
Selfcondemnation and the other fine Touches of Nature: which woud All have
been lost in the grave sober Sound of his Dutch Emendation
As to his Paragraph in Postscript I shall say the less of it because the
Gentlemans own good Sense seems to confess by the Place he has chosen to rank
it in that it ought to be turnd out of Doors as too dirty for the rest of his
Letter In the Occasions he is pleasd to discover for Jokes I either find
not that he has any Signification at all or such vulgar coarsetasted
Allusions to loose lowlife Idioms that not to understand what he means is
both the cleanliest and prudentest Way of confuting him
And now Sir you will easily gather how far I am from thinking it needful
to change any thing in Pamela I would not scratch such a beautiful Face for
the Indies
You can hardly imagine how it charms me to hear of a Second Edition already
but the News of still new upon new ones will be found no Subject of Wonder As
tis sure that no Family is without Sisters or Brothers or Daughters or
Sons who can read or wants Fathers or Mothers or Friends who can think so
equally certain it is that the Train to a Parcel of Powder does not run on with
more natural Tendency till it sets the whole Heap in a Blaze than that Pamela
inchanting from Family to Family will overspread all the Hearts of the Kingdom
As to the Objection of those warm Friends to Honesty who are for having
Pamela dismiss Mrs Jewkes there is not One among All these benevolent
Complainers who woud not discern himself to have been laudably in the wrong
were he only to be askd this plain Question Whether a Step both illjudgd
and undutiful had not been the Reverse of a PAMELAS Character Two or three
times over Mr B had informd her that Mrs Jewkes and Himself having been
equally involvd in One Guilt she must forgive or condemn Both together
After this it grew manifest Duty not to treat her with Marks of Resentment
And as here was a visible Necessity to appear not desirous of turning her away
so in point of mere Moral Regard to the bad Woman Herself it was nobler to
retain her with a Prospect of correcting in Time her loose Habit of thinking
than by casting her off to the licentious Results of her Temper abandon her
to Temptations and Danger which a Virtue like PAMELAS coud not wish her
exposd to«
The Manner in which this admirable Gentleman gives his Opinion of the Piece and
runs thro the principal Characters is so masterly that the Readers of Pamela
will be charmd by it tho they should suppose that his inimitable Benevolence
has overvalud the piece itself
»Inspird without doubt by some Skill more than human and comprehending in
an humble and seemingly artless Narration a Force that can tear up the
Heartstrings this Author has prepard an enamouring Philtre for the Mind,
which will excite such a Passion for Virtue as scarce to leave it in the Power
of the Will to neglect her
Longinus I remember distinguishing by what Marks we may know the Sublime
says it is chiefly from an Effect that will follow the Reading it a
delightfullyadhering Idea that clings fast to the Memory and from which it is
difficult for a Man to disengage his Attention If this is a Proof of the
Sublime there was never Sublimity so lastingly felt as in PAMELA
Not the Charmers own prattling Idea stuck so close to the Heart of her
Master as the Incidents of her Story to the Thoughts of a Reader The Author
transports and transforms with a Power more extensive than Horace requires in
his POET
Mr B and the Turns of his Passions and the Softness yet Strength of
their amiable Object after having given us the most masterly Image of Nature,
that ever was painted take Possession of and dwell in the Memory
And there too broods the kind and the credulous Parson WILLIAMSS Dove
without serpentine Mixture hatching Pity and Affection for an Honesty so
sincere and so silly
There too take their Places All the lower Supports of this beautiful
Fabrick
I am sometimes transformd into plain Goodman ANDREWS and sometimes the
good Woman his Wife
As for old Mr LONGMAN and JONATHAN the Butler they are sure of me both
in their Turns
Now andthen I am COLBRAND the Swiss but as broad as I stride in that
Character I can never escape Mrs JEWKES who often keeps me awake in the Night
Till the Ghost of Lady DAVERS drawing open the Curtains scares the Scarer
of me and of PAMELA
And then I take Shelter with poor penitent JOHN and the rest of the Men
and the Maids of all whom I may say with compassionate Marcia
The Youths DIVIDE their Reader«
And this fine Writer adds
»I am glad I made War in my last upon the Notion of altering the Style
for having read it twice over since then and to Audiences where the Tears
were applausively eloquent I could hardly here and there find a Place where
one Word can be changd for a better There are some indeed where twere
possible to leave out a few without making a Breach in the Building But in
short the Author has put so bewitching a Mixture together of the Raisd with
the Natural and the Soft with the Strong and the Eloquent that never
Sentiments were finer and fuller of Life never any were utterd so sweetly
Even in what relates to the pious and frequent Addresses to God I now retract
on these two last Revisals the Consent I half gave on a former to the
anonymous Writers Proposal who advisd the Author to shorten those Beauties
Whoever considers his Pamela with a View to find Matter for Censure is in
the Condition of a passionate Lover who breaks in upon his Mistress without
Fear or Wit with Intent to accuse her and quarrel He came to her with Pique
in his Purpose but his Heart is too hard for his Malice and he goes away more
enslavd for complaining«
The following delightful Story so admirably related will give great Pleasure
to the Reader and we take the Liberty of inserting it for that very Reason
»What a nevertobe satisfied Length has this Subject always the Power of
attracting me into And yet before I have done I must by your means tell the
Author a Story which a Judge not so skillful in Nature as he is might be in
Danger perhaps of mistaking for a trifling and silly one I expect it shoud
give him the clearest Conviction in a Case he is subject to question
We have a lively little Boy in the Family about seven Years old but alas
for him poor Child quite unfriended and born to no Prospect He is the Son of
an honest poor Soldier by a Wife grave unmeaning and innocent Yet the Boy
see the Power of connubial Simplicity is so pretty so genteel and
gayspirited that we have made him and designd him our own ever since he
could totter and waddle The wanton Rogue is half Air and every Motion he acts
by has a Spring like Pamelas when she threw down the Cardtable All this
Quickness however, is temperd by a goodnaturd Modesty so that the wildest
of his Flights are thought rather diverting than troublesome He is an hourly
Foundation for Laughter from the Top of the House to the Parlours and to
borrow an Attribute from the Reverend Mr Peters tho without any Note of his
Musick plays a very good FIDDLE in the Family I have told you the History of
this Tomtit of a Prater because ever since my first reading of PAMELA he
puts in for a Right to be one of her Hearers and having got half her Sayings
by heart talks in no other Language but hers and what really surprises and
has charmd me into a certain Foretaste of her Influence he is at once
become fond of his Book which before he coud never be brought to attend to
that he may read PAMELA he says without stopping The first Discovery we made
of this Power over so unripe and unfixd an Attention was one Evening when I
was reading her Reflections at the Pond to some Company The little rampant
Intruder being kept out by the Extent of the Circle had crept under my Chair
and was sitting before me on the Carpet with his Head almost touching the
Book and his Face bowing down toward the Fire He had sat for some time in
this Posture with a Stillness that made us conclude him asleep when on a
sudden we heard a Succession of heartheaving Sobs which while he strove to
conceal from our Notice his little Sides swelld as if they woud burst with
the throbbing Restraint of his Sorrow I turnd his innocent Face to look
toward me but his Eyes were quite lost in his Tears which running down from
his Cheeks in free Currents had formd two sincere little Fountains on that
Part of the Carpet he hung over All the Ladies in Company were ready to devour
him with Kisses and he has since become doubly a Favourite and is perhaps
the youngest of Pamelas Converts
The same incomparable Writer has favourd us with an Objection that is more
material than any we have mentiond which cannot be better stated nor answerd
than in his own beautiful Words viz
An Objection is come into my Thoughts which I should be glad the Author would
think proper to obviate in the Front of the Second Edition
There are Mothers or Grandmothers in all Families of affluent Fortune
who tho they may have none of Lady Daverss Insolence will be apt to feel one
of her Fears that the Example of a Gentleman so amiable as Mr B may be
followd by the Jackies their Sons with too blind and unreflecting a
Readiness Nor does the Answer of that Gentleman to his Sisters Reproach come
quite up to the Point they will rest on For tho indeed it is true all the
World woud acquit the best Gentleman in it if he married such a Waitingmaid
as Pamela yet there is an illdiscerning Partiality in Passion that will
overthrow all the Force of that Argument because every belovd Maid will be
PAMELA in a Judgment obscurd by her Influence
And since the Ground of this Fear will seem solid I dont know how to be
easy till it is shewn nor ought it to be left to the Authors Modesty that
they who consider his Design in that Light will be found but shortsighted
Observers
Request it of him then to suffer to be told them that not a limited but
general Excitement to Virtue was the first and great End to his Story And that
this Excitement must have been deficient and very imperfectly offerd if he
had not lookd quite as low as he coud for his Example because if there had
been any Degree or Condition more remote from the Prospect than that which he
had chosen to work on that Degree might have seemd out of Reach of the Hope
which it was his generous Purpose to encourage And so he was under an
evident Necessity to find such a Jewel in a Cottage and exposd too as she
was to the severest Distresses of Fortune with Parents unable to support their
own Lives but from the daily hard Product of Labour
Nor woud it have been sufficient to have placd her thus low and
distressful if he had not also supposd her a Servant and that too in some
elegant Family for if she had always remaind a Fellowcottager with her
Father it must have carried an Air of Romantick Improbability to account for
her polite Education
If she had wanted those Improvements which she found means to acquire in
her Service it woud have been very unlikely that she shoud have succeeded so
well and had destroyd one great Use of the Story to have allowd such
uncommon Felicity to the Effect of mere personal Beauty And it had not been
judicious to have represented her as educated in a superior Condition of Life
with the proper Accomplishments before she became reducd by Misfortunes and
so not a Servant but rather an Orphan under hopeless Distresses because
Opportunities which had made it no Wonder how she came to be so winningly
qualified woud have lessend her Merit in being so And besides where had
then been the purposd Excitement of Persons in PAMELAS Condition of Life by
an Emulation of her Sweetness Humility Modesty Patience and Industry to
attain some faint Hope of arriving in time within View of her Happiness
And what a delightful Reformation shoud we see in all Families where the
Vanity of their Maids took no Turn toward Ambition to please but by such
innocent Measures as PAMELAS
As it is clear then the Author was under a Necessity to suppose her a
Servant he is not to be accountable for mistaken Impressions which the Charms
he has given her may happen to make on wrong Heads or weak Hearts tho in
Favour of Maids the Reverse of her Likeness
What is it then they may say that the Lowness and Distance of Pamelas
Condition from the Gentlemans who married her proposes to teach the Gay World
and the Fortunate It is this By Comparison with that infinite Remoteness of
her Condition from the Reward which her Virtue procurd her one great Proof is
derivd which is Part of the Moral of PAMELA that Advantages from Birth and
Distinction of Fortune have no Power at all when considerd against those from
Behaviour and Temper of Mind because where the Last are not added all the
First will be boasted in vain Whereas she who possesses the Last finds no Want
of the First in her Influence
In that Light alone let the Ladies of Rank look at PAMELA Such an
alarming Reflection as that will at the same time that it raises the Hope and
Ambition of the Humble correct and mortify the Disdain of the Proud For it
will compel them to observe and acknowledge that tis the Turn of their Mind
not the Claims of their Quality by which and which only Womens Charms can be
lasting And that while the haughty Expectations inseparable from an elevated
Rank serve but to multiply its Complaints and Afflictions the Condescensions
of accomplishd Humility attracting Pity Affection and Reverence secure an
hourly Increase of Felicity So that the moral Meaning of PAMELAS
Goodfortune far from tempting young Gentlemen to marry such Maids as are found
in their Families is by teaching Maids to deserve to be Mistresses to stir up
Mistresses to support their Distinction«
We shall only add That it was intended to prefix two neat Frontispieces to this
Edition and to present them to the Purchasers of the first and one was
actually finished for that Purpose but there not being Time for the other from
the Demand for the new Impression and the Engraving Part of that which was done
tho no Expence was spared having fallen very short of the Spirit of the
Passages they were intended to represent the Proprietors were advised to lay
them aside And were the rather induced to do so from the following Observation
of a most ingenious Gentleman in a Letter to the Editor »I am so jealous says
he in Behalf of our inward Idea of PAMELAS Person that I dread any figurd
Pretence to Resemblance For it will be pity to look at an Air and imagine it
Hers that does not carry some such elegant Perfection of Amiableness as will
be sure to find place in the Fancy«
Verses sent to the Bookseller for the Unknown Author of the beautiful new
Piece calld Pamela
Blest be thy powrful Pen whoeer thou art
Thou skilld great Moulder of the masterd Heart
Where hast thou lain conceald or why thought fit
At this dire Period to unveil thy Wit
O late befriended Isle had this broad Blaze
With earlier Beamings blessd our Fathers Days
The Pilot Radiance pointing out the Source
Whence public Health derives its vital Course
Each timely Draught some healing Power had shown
Ere genral Gangrene blackend to the Bone
But festring now beyond all Sense of Pain
Tis hopeless and the Helpers Hand is vain
Sweet Pamela foreverblooming Maid
Thou dear unliving yet immortal Shade
Why are thy Virtues scatterd to the Wind
Why are thy Beauties flashd upon the Blind
What tho thy fluttring Sex might learn from thee
That Merit forms a Rank above Degree
That Pride too conscious falls from evry Claim
While humble Sweetness climbs beyond its Aim
What tho Religion smiling from thy Eyes
Shews her plain Power and charms without Disguise
What tho thy warmlypleasing moral Scheme
Gives livelier Rapture than the Loose can dream
What tho thou buildst by thy persuasive Life
Maid Child Friend Mistress Mother Neighbour Wife
Tho Taste like thine each Void of Time can fill
Unsunk by Spleen unquickend by Quadrille
What tho tis thine to bless the lengthend Hour
Give Permanence to Joy and Use to Powr
Lend latefelt Blushes to the Vain and Smart
And squeeze crampd Pity from the Misers Heart
What tho tis thine to hush the Marriage Breeze
Teach Liberty to tire and Chains to please
Thine tho from Stiffness to divest Restraint
And to the Charmer reconcile the Saint
Tho Smiles and Tears obey thy moving Skill
And Passions ruffled Empire waits thy Will
Tho thine the fansyd Fields of flowry Wit
Thine Arts whole Powr in Nature's Language writ
Thine to convey strong Thought with modest Ease
And copying Converse teach its Style to please
Tho thine each Virtue that a God coud lend
Thine evry Help that evry Heart can mend
Tis Thine in vain Thou wakst a dying Land
And liftst departed Hope with fruitless Hand
Death has NO CURE Thou hast mistimd thy Aim
Rome had her GOTHS and all beyond was Shame
Letter I
In a Series of Familiar Letters etc
Dear Father and Mother
I have great Trouble and some Comfort to acquaint you with The Trouble
is that my good Lady died of the Illness I mentiond to you and left us all
much grievd for her Loss for she was a dear good Lady and kind to all us her
Servants Much I feard that as I was taken by her Goodness to wait upon her
Person I should be quite destitute again and forcd to return to you and my
poor Mother who have so much to do to maintain yourselves and as my Ladys
Goodness had put me to write and cast Accompts and made me a little expert at
my Needle and other Qualifications above my Degree it would have been no easy
Matter to find a Place that your poor Pamela was fit for But God whose
Graciousness to us we have so often experiencd at a Pinch put it into my good
Ladys Heart on her Deathbed just an Hour before she expird to recommend to
my young Master all her Servants one by one and when it came to my Turn to be
recommended for I was sobbing and crying at her Pillow she could only say My
dear Son and so broke off a little and then recovering Remember my poor
Pamela And these were some of her last Words O how my Eyes run Dont
wonder to see the Paper so blotted
Well but Gods Will must be done and so comes the Comfort that I shall
not be obligd to return back to be a Clog upon my dear Parents For my Master
said I will take care of you all my Lasses and for you Pamela and took me
by the Hand yes he took me by the Hand before them all for my dear Mothers
sake I will be a Friend to you and you shall take care of my Linen God bless
him and pray with me my dear Father and Mother for God to bless him For he
has given Mourning and a Years Wages to all my Ladys Servants and I having no
Wages as yet but what my Lady said she would do for me as I deservd orderd
the Housekeeper to give me Mourning with the rest and gave me with his own
Hand Four golden Guineas besides lesser Money which were in my old Ladys
Pocket when she dyd and said If I was a good Girl and faithful and diligent
he would be a Friend to me for his Mothers sake And so I send you these four
Guineas for your Comfort for God will not let me want And so you may pay some
old Debt with Part and keep the other Part to comfort you both If I get more
I am sure it is my Duty and it shall be my Care to love and cherish you both
for you have lovd me and cherishd me when I could do nothing for myself And
so you have for us all or what must have become of us I send it by John our
Footman who goes your way but he does not know what he carries because I seal
it up in one of the little Pillboxes which my Lady had wrapt close in Paper
that it maynt chink and be sure dont open it before him
I know dear Father and Mother I must give you both Grief and Pleasure and
so I will only say Pray for your Pamela who will ever be
Your most dutiful Daughter
I have been scared out of my Senses for just now as I was folding this Letter
in my late Ladys Dressingroom in comes my young Master Good Sirs how was I
frightned I went to hide the Letter in my Bosom and he seeing me frighted
said smiling Who have you been writing to Pamela I said in my Fright
Pray your Honour forgive me Only to my Father and Mother He said Well then
Let me see how you are come on in your Writing O how I was shamd He in my
Fright took it without saying more and read it quite thro and then gave it
me again and I said Pray your Honour forgive me yet I know not for what
For he was always dutiful to his Parents and why should he be angry that I was
so to mine And indeed he was not angry for he took me by the Hand and said
You are a good Girl Pamela to be kind to your aged Father and Mother I am not
angry with you Be faithful and diligent and do as you should do and I like
you the better for this And then he said Why Pamela you write a very pretty
Hand and spell tolerably too I see my good Mothers Care in your Learning has
not been thrown away upon you My Mother used to say you lovd reading you may
look into any of her Books to improve yourself so you take care of them To be
sure I did nothing but curchee and cry and was all in Confusion at his
Goodness Indeed he is the best of Gentlemen I think But I am making another
long Letter So will only say more I shall ever be
Your dutiful Daughter
PAMELA ANDREWS
Letter II
In Answer to the preceding
Dear Pamela
Your letter was indeed a great Trouble and some Comfort to me and your poor
Mother We are troubled to be sure for your good Ladys Death who took such
care of you and gave you Learning and for Three Years past has always been
giving you Cloaths and Linen and every thing that a Gentlewoman need not be
ashamd to appear in But our chief Trouble is and indeed a very great one for
fear you should be brought to any thing dishonest or wicked by being set so
above yourself Every body talks how you have come on and what a genteel Girl
you are and some say you are very pretty and indeed Six Months since when I
saw you last I should have thought so too if you was not our Child But what
avails all this if you are to be ruind and undone Indeed my dear Child we
begin to be in great Fear for you for what signifies all the Riches in the
World with a bad Conscience and to be disonest We are tis true very poor
and find it hard enough to live tho once as you know it was better with us
But we would sooner live upon the Water and Clay of the Ditches I am forcd to
dig than to live better at the Price of our dear Childs Ruin
I hope the good Squire has no Design but when he has given you so much
Money and speaks so kindly to you and praises your coming on and Oh that
fatal Word that he would be kind to you if you would do as you should do
almost kills us with Fears
I have spoken to good old Widow Mumford about it who you know has
formerly lived in good Families and she puts us in some Comfort for she says
it is not unusual when a Lady dies to give what she has about her to her
Waitingmaid and to such as sit up with her in her Illness But then why
should he smile so kindly upon you Why should he take such a poor Girl as you
by the Hand as your Letter says he has done twice Why should he stoop to read
your Letter to us and commend your Writing and Spelling And why should he
give you Leave to read his Mothers Books Indeed indeed my dearest Child
our Hearts ake for you and then you seem so full of Joy at his Goodness so
taken with his kind Expressions which truly are very great Favours if he means
well that we fear Yes my dear Child we fear you should be too grateful
and reward him with that Jewel your Virtue which no Riches nor Favour nor
any thing in this Life can make up to you
I too have written a long Letter but will say one Thing more and that
is That in the Midst of our Poverty and Misfortunes we have trusted in Gods
Goodness and been honest and doubt not to be happy hereafter if we continue
to be good tho our Lot is hard here but the Loss of our dear Childs Virtue
would be a Grief that we could not bear and would bring our grey Hairs to the
Grave at once
If you love us then if you value Gods Blessing and your own future
Happiness we both charge you to stand upon your Guard and if you find the
least Attempt made upon your Virtue be sure you leave every thing behind you
and come away to us for we had rather see you all coverd with Rags and even
follow you to the Churchyard than have it said a Child of ours preferrd
worldly Conveniencies to her Virtue
We accept kindly of your dutiful Present but till we are out of our Pain
cannot make use of it for fear we should partake of the Price of our poor
Daughters Shame So have laid it up in a Rag among the Thatch over the Window
for a while lest we should be robbd With our Blessings and our hearty Prayers
for you we remain
Your careful but loving Father and Mother
JOHN and ELIZABETH ANDREWS
Letter III
Dear Father
I must needs say that your Letter has filld me with much Trouble For it
has made my Heart which was overflowing with Gratitude for my young Masters
Goodness suspicious and fearful and yet I hope I never shall find him to act
unworthy of his Character for what could he get by ruining such a poor young
Creature as me But that which gives me most Trouble is that you seem to
mistrust the Honesty of your Child No my dear Father and Mother be assurd
that by Gods Grace I never will do any thing that shall bring your grey Hairs
with Sorrow to the Grave I will die a thousand Deaths rather than be dishonest
any way Of that be assurd and set your Hearts at rest for altho I have
livd above myself for some Time past yet I can be content with Rags and
Poverty and Bread and Water and will embrace them rather than forfeit my good
Name let who will be the Tempter And of this rest satisfyd and think better
of
Your dutiful Daughter till Death
My Master continues to be very affable to me As yet I see no Cause to fear any
thing. Mrs Jervis the Housekeeper too is very civil to me and I have the Love
of every body Sure they cant all have Designs against me because they are
civil I hope I shall always behave so as to be respected by every one and hope
nobody would do me more hurt than I am sure I would do them Our John so often
goes your way that I will always get him to call that you may hear from me
either by Writing for it brings my Hand in or by Word of Mouth
Letter IV
Dear Mother
For the last Letter was to my Father in Answer to his Letter and so I will
now write to you tho I have nothing to say but what will make me look more
like a vain Hussy than any thing else Yet I hope I shant be so proud as to
forget myself Yet there is a secret Pleasure one has to hear ones self
praisd You must know then that my Lady Davers who you know is my Masters
Sister has been a whole Month at our House and has taken great Notice of me
and given me good Advice to keep myself to myself she told me I was a very
pretty Wench and that every body gave me a very good Character and lovd me
and bid me take care to keep the Fellows at a Distance and said that I might
do and be more valud for it even by themselves But what pleasd me much
was that at Table as Mrs Jervis was telling me my Master and her Ladyship
were talking of me and she told him she thought me the prettiest Wench she
ever saw in her Life and that I was too pretty to live in a Batchelors House
and that no Lady he might marry would care to continue me with her He said I
was vastly improvd and had a good Share of Prudence and Sense above my Years
and it would be Pity that what was my Merit should be my Misfortune No
says my good Lady Pamela shall come and live with me I think He said With
all his Heart he should be glad to have me so well provided for Well said
she Ill consult my Lord about it She askd how old I was and Mrs Jervis
said I was Fifteen last February O says she if the Wench for so she calls
all us Maiden Servants takes care of herself shell improve yet more and more
as well in her Person as Mind
Now my dear Father and Mother tho this may look too vain to be repeated
by me yet are you not rejoicd as well as I to see my Master so willing to
part with me This shews that he has nothing bad in his Heart But John is
just going away and so I have only to say that I am and will always be
Your honest as well as dutiful Daughter
Pray make use of the Money you may now do it safely
Letter V
My dear Father and Mother
John being going your way I am willing to write because he is so willing
to carry any thing for me He says it does him good at his Heart to see you
both and to hear you talk He says you are both so good and so honest that he
always learns something from you to the Purpose It is a thousand Pities he
says that such honest Hearts should not have better Luck in the World But this
is more Pride to me that I am come of such honest Parents than if I had been
born a Lady
I hear nothing yet of going to Lady Davers And I am very easy at present
here For Mrs Jervis uses me as if I were her own Daughter and is a very good
Woman and makes my Masters Interest her own She is always giving me good
Counsel and I love her next to you two I think best of any body She keeps
so good Rule and Order she is mightily respected by us all and takes Delight
to hear me read to her and all she loves to hear read is good Books which we
read whenever we are alone so that I think I am at home with you She heard one
of our Men Harry who is no better than he should be speak freely to me I
think he calld me his pretty Pamela and took hold of me as if he would have
kissd me for which you may be sure I was very angry and she took him to Task
and was as angry at him as could be and told me she was very well pleasd to
see my Prudence and Modesty and that I kept all the Fellows at a Distance And
indeed I am sure I am not proud and carry it civil to every body but yet
methinks I cant bear to be lookd upon by these Menservants for they seem as
if they would look one thro and as I almost always breakfast dine and sup
with Mrs Jervis so good she is to me so I am very easy that I have so little
to say to them Not but they are very civil to me in the main for Mrs Jerviss
sake who they see loves me and they stand in Awe of her knowing her to be a
Gentlewoman born tho she has had Misfortunes I am going on again with a long
Letter for I love Writing and shall tire you But when I began I only
intended to say that I am quite fearless of any Danger now And indeed can but
wonder at myself tho your Caution to me was your watchful Love that I should
be so foolish as to be so uneasy as I have been For I am sure my Master would
not demean himself so as to think upon such a poor Girl as I for my Harm For
such a Thing would ruin his Credit as well as mine you know For to be sure
he may expect one of the best Ladies in the Land So no more at present but
that I am
Your ever dutiful Daughter
Letter VI
Dear Father and Mother
My Master has been very kind since my last for he has given me a Suit of my
old Ladys Cloaths and half a Dozen of her Shifts and Six fine Handkerchiefs
and Three of her Cambrick Aprons and Four Holland ones The Cloaths are fine
Silks and too rich and too good for me to be sure I wish it was no Affront to
him to make Money of them and send it to you it would do me more good
You will be full of Fears I warrant now of some Design upon me till I
tell you that he was with Mrs Jervis when he gave them me and he gave her a
Mort of good Things at the same Time and bid her wear them in Remembrance of
her good Friend my Lady his Mother And when he gave me these fine Things he
said These Pamela are for you have them made fit for you when your Mourning
is laid by and wear em for your good Mistresss sake Mrs Jervis gives you a
very good Word and I would have you continue to behave as prudently as you have
done hitherto and every body will be your Friend
I was so surprised at his Goodness that I could not tell what to say I
curcheed to him and to Mrs Jervis for her good Word and said I wishd I
might be deserving of his Favour and her Kindness And nothing should be
wanting in me to the best of my Knowledge
O how amiable a Thing is doing good It is all I envy great Folks for
I always thought my young Master a fine Gentleman as every body says he is
But he gave these good Things to us both with such a Graciousness as I thought
he lookd like an Angel
Mrs Jervis says he askd her If I kept the Men at a Distance for he
said I was very pretty and to be drawn in to have any of them might be my
Ruin and make me poor and miserable betimes She never is wanting to give me a
good Word and took Occasion to launch out in my Praise she says But I hope
she said no more than I shall try to deserve tho I maynt at present I am
sure I will always love her next to you and my dear Mother So I rest
Your ever dutiful Daughter
Letter VII
Dear Father
Since my last my Master gave me more fine Things He calld me up to my old
Ladys Closet and pulling out her Drawers he gave me Two Suits of fine
Flanders lacd Headcloths Three Pair of fine Silk Shoes two hardly the worse
and just fit for me for my old Lady had a very little Foot and several
Ribbands and Topknots of all Colours and Four Pair of fine white Cotton
Stockens and Three Pair of fine Silk ones and Two Pair of rich Stays and a
Pair of rich Silver Buckles in one Pair of the Shoes I was quite astonishd
and unable to speak for a while but yet I was inwardly ashamd to take the
Stockens for Mrs Jervis was not there If she had it would have been nothing
I believe I receivd them very awkwardly for he smild at my Awkwardness and
said Dont blush Pamela Dost think I dont know pretty Maids wear Shoes and
Stockens
I was so confounded at these Words you might have beat me down with a
Feather For you must think there was no Answer to be made to this So like a
Fool I was ready to cry and went away curcheeing and blushing I am sure up
to the Ears for tho there was no Harm in what he said yet I did not know how
to take it But I went and told all to Mrs Jervis who said God put it into
his Heart to be good to me and I must double my Diligence It lookd to her
she said as if he would fit me in Dress for a Waitingmaids Place on his
Sister Lady Daverss own Person
But still your kind fatherly Cautions came into my Head and made all these
Gifts nothing near to me what they would have been But yet I hope there is no
Reason for what Good could it do him to harm such a simple Maiden as me
Besides to be sure no Lady would look upon him if he should so disgrace
himself So I will make myself easy and indeed I should never have been
otherwise if you had not put it into my Head for my Good I know very well
But may be without these Uneasinesses to mingle with these Benefits I might
be too much puffd up So I will conclude All that happens is for our Good and
so God bless you my dear Father and Mother and I know you will pray to God to
bless me who am and shall always be
Your dutiful Daughter
Letter VIII
Dear Pamela
I cannot but renew my Cautions to you on your Masters Kindness to you and
his free Expression to you about the Stockens Yet there may not be and I hope
there is not any thing in it But when I reflect that there possibly may and
that if there should no less depends upon it than my Childs everlasting
Happiness in this World and the next it is enough to make one fearful of the
worst Arm yourself my dear Child for the worst and resolve to lose your Life
sooner than your Virtue What tho the Doubts I filld you with lessen the
Pleasure you would have had in your Masters Kindness yet what signify the
Delights that arise from a few paltry fine Cloaths in Comparison with a good
Conscience
These are indeed very great Favours that he heaps upon you but so much the
more to be suspected and when you say he lookd so amiable and like an Angel
how afraid I am that they should make too great an Impression upon you For
tho God has blessd you with Sense and Prudence above your Years yet I
tremble to think what a sad Hazard a poor Maiden of no more than Fifteen Years
of Age stands against the Temptations of this World and a designing young
Gentleman if he should prove so who has so much Power to oblige and has a
kind of Authority to command as your Master
I charge you my dear Child on both our Blessings poor as we are to be on
your Guard there can be no Harm in that and since Mrs Jervis is so good a
Gentlewoman and so kind to you I am the easier a great deal and so is your
Mother and we hope you will hide nothing from her and take her Counsel in
every thing So with our Blessings and assured Prayers for you more than for
ourselves we remain
Your loving Father and Mother
Besure dont let Peoples telling you you are pretty puff you up for you did
not make yourself and so can have no Praise due to you for it It is Virtue and
Goodness only that make the true Beauty Remember that Pamela
Letter IX
Dear Father and Mother
I Am sorry to write you word that the Hopes I had of going to wait on Lady
Davers are quite over My Lady would have had me but my Master as I hear by
the bye would not consent to it He said Her Nephew might be taken with me
and I might draw him in or be drawn in by him and he thought as his Mother
lovd me and committed me to his Care he ought to continue me with him and
Mrs Jervis would be a Mother to me Mrs Jervis tells me the Lady shook her
Head and said Ah Brother and that was all And as you have made me fearful
by your Cautions my Heart at times misgives me But I say nothing yet of your
Caution or my own Uneasiness to Mrs Jervis not that I mistrust her but for
fear she should think me presumptuous and vain and conceited to have any
Fears about the matter from the great Distance between so great a Man and so
poor a Girl But yet Mrs Jervis seemd to build something upon Lady Davers
shaking her Head and saying Ah Brother and no more God I hope will give
me his Grace and so I will not if I can help it make myself too uneasy for I
hope there is no Occasion But every little matter that happens I will acquaint
you with that you shall continue to me your good Advice and pray for
Your sadhearted PAMELA
Letter X
Dear Mother
You and my good Father may wonder that you have not had a Letter from me in
so many Weeks but a sad sad Scene has been the Occasion of it For to be
sure now it is too plain that all your Cautions were wellgrounded O my dear
Mother I am miserable truly miserable But yet dont be frighted I am
honest God of his Goodness keep me so
O this Angel of a Master this fine Gentleman this gracious Benefactor to
your poor Pamela who was to take care of me at the Prayer of his good dying
Mother who was so careful of me lest I should be drawn in by Lord Daverss
Nephew that he would not let me go to Lady Daverss This very Gentleman yes
I must call him Gentleman tho he has fallen from the Merit of that Title has
degraded himself to offer Freedoms to his poor Servant He has now shewd
himself in his true Colours and to me nothing appears so black and so
frightful
I have not been idle but have writ from time to time how he by sly mean
Degrees exposed his wicked Views But somebody stole my Letter and I know not
what is become of it It was a very long one I fear he that was mean enough to
do bad things in one respect did not stick at this but be it as it will all
the Use he can make of it will be that he may be ashamd of his Part I not of
mine For he will see I was resolvd to be honest and gloryd in the Honesty of
my poor Parents I will tell you all the next Opportunity for I am watchd
and suchlike very narrowly and he says to Mrs Jervis This Girl is always
scribbling I think she may be better employd And yet I work all Hours with my
Needle upon his Linen and the fine Linen of the Family and am besides about
flowering him a Waistcoat But Oh my Hearts broke almost for what am I
likely to have for my Reward but Shame and Disgrace or else ill Words and
hard Treatment Ill tell you all soon and hope I shall find my long Letter
Your most afflicted Daughter
I must he and him him now for he has lost his Dignity with me
Letter XI
Dear Mother
Well I cant find my Letter and so Ill tell you all as briefly as I can
All went well enough in the main for some time after my last Letter but one At
last I saw some Reason to suspect for he would look upon me whenever he saw
me in such a manner as shewd not well and at last he came to me as I was in
the Summerhouse in the little Garden at work with my Needle and Mrs Jervis
was just gone from me and I would have gone out but he said No dont go
Pamela I have something to say to you and you always fly me so whenever I
come near you as if you was afraid of me
I was all confounded and said at last It does not become your poor Servant
to stay in your Presence Sir without your Business requird it and I hope I
shall always know my Place
Well says he my Business does require it sometimes and I have a mind you
should stay to hear what I have to say to you
I stood all confounded and began to tremble and the more when he took me
by the Hand for now no Soul was near us
My Sister Davers said he and seemd I thought to be as much at a Loss
for Words as I would have had you live with her but she would not do for you
what I am resolvd to do if you continue faithful and obliging What sayst
thou my Girl said he with some Eagerness hadst thou not rather stay with me
than go to my Sister Davers He lookd so as filld me with Affrightment I
dont know how wildly I thought
I said when I could speak Your Honour will forgive your poor Servant but
as you have no Lady for me to wait upon and my good Lady has been now dead this
Twelvemonth I had rather if it would not displease you wait upon Lady
Davers because
I was proceeding and he said a little hastily Because youre a little
Fool and know not whats good for yourself I tell you I will make a
Gentlewoman of you if you be obliging and dont stand in your own Light and
so saying he put his Arm about me and kissd me
Now you will say all his Wickedness appeard plainly I struggled and
trembled and was so benumbd with Terror that I sunk down not in a Fit and
yet not myself and I found myself in his Arms quite void of Strength and he
kissed me two or three times as if he would have eaten me At last I burst
from him and was getting out of the Summerhouse but he held me back and shut
the Door
I would have given my Life for a Farthing And he said Ill do you no Harm
Pamela dont be afraid of me I said I wont stay You wont Hussy said he
Do you know who you speak to I lost all Fear and all Respect and said Yes I
do Sir too well Well may I forget that I am your Servant when you forget
what belongs to a Master
I sobbd and cryd most sadly What a foolish Hussy you are said he have I
done you any Harm Yes Sir said I the greatest Harm in the World You have
taught me to forget myself and what belongs to me and have lessend the
Distance that Fortune has made between us by demeaning yourself to be so free
to a poor Servant Yet Sir said I I will be so bold to say I am honest tho
poor And if you was a Prince I would not be otherwise
He was angry and said Who would have you otherwise you foolish Slut
Cease your blubbering I own I have demeand myself but it was only to try you
If you can keep this Matter secret youll give me the better Opinion of your
Prudence and heres something said he putting some Gold in my Hand to make
you Amends for the Fright I put you to Go take a Walk in the Garden and dont
go in till your blubbering is over And I charge you say nothing of what has
past and all shall be well and Ill forgive you
I wont take the Money indeed Sir said I poor as I am I wont take it
for to say Truth I thought it lookd like taking Earnest and so I put it upon
the Bench and as he seemd vexd and confusd at what he had done I took the
Opportunity to open the Door and went out of the Summerhouse
He called to me and said Be secret I charge you Pamela and dont go in
yet as I told you
O how poor and mean must these Actions be and how little must they make the
best of Gentlemen look when they offer such things as are unworthy of
themselves and put it into the Power of their Inferiors to be greater than
they
I took a Turn or two in the Garden but in Sight of the House for fear of
the worst and breathed upon my Hand to dry my Eyes because I would not be too
disobedient My next shall tell you more
Pray for me my dear Father and Mother and dont be angry I have not yet
run away from this House so late my Comfort and Delight but now my Anguish and
Terror I am forcd to break off hastily
Your dutiful and honest Daughter
Letter XII
Dear Mother
Well I will now proceed with my sad Story And so after I had dryd my
Eyes I went in and begun to ruminate with myself what I had best to do
Sometimes I thought I would leave the House and go to the next Town and wait
an Opportunity to get to you but then I was at a Loss to resolve whether to
take away the Things he had given me or no and how to take them away Sometimes
I thought to leave them behind me and only go with the Cloaths on my Back but
then I had two Miles and a half and a Byway to go to the Town and being
pretty well dressd I might come to some harm almost as bad as what I would
run away from and then maybe thought I it will be reported I have stolen
something and so was forcd to run away and to carry a bad Name back with me
to my dear poor Parents would be a sad thing indeed O how I wishd for my
grey Russet again and my poor honest Dress with which you fitted me out and
hard enough too you had to do it God knows for going to this Place when I was
but twelve Years old in my good Ladys Days Sometimes I thought of telling
Mrs Jervis and taking her Advice and only feared his Command to be secret
for thought I he may be ashamed of his Actions and never attempt the like
again And as poor Mrs Jervis depended upon him thro Misfortunes that had
attended her I thought it would be a sad thing to bring his Displeasure upon
her for my sake
In this Quandary now considering now crying and not knowing what to do I
passd the Time in my Chamber till Evening when desiring to be excused going to
Supper Mrs Jervis came up to me and said Why must I sup without you Pamela
Come I see you are troubled at something tell me what is the Matter
I beggd I might be permitted to lie with her on Nights for I was afraid of
Spirits and they would not hurt such a good Person as she That was a silly
Excuse she said for why was you not afraid of Spirits before Indeed I did not
think of that But you shall be my Bedfellow with all my Heart said she let
your Reason be what it will only come down to Supper I beggd to be excusd
for said I I have been crying so that it will be taken Notice of by my
Fellowservants and I will hide nothing from you Mrs Jervis when we are
abed
She was so good to indulge me and went down to Supper but made more haste
to come up tobed and told the Servants that I should lie with her because
she said she could not rest well and she would get me to read her to sleep
because she knew I lovd reading as she said
When we were alone I told her every bit and crumb of the Matter for I
thought tho he had bid me not yet if he should come to know I had told it
would be no worse for to keep a Secret of such a Nature I thought would be to
deprive myself of the good Advice which I never wanted more and might encourage
him to think I did not resent it as I ought and would keep worse Secrets and
so make him do worse by me Was I right my dear Mother
Mrs Jervis could not help mingling Tears with my Tears for I cryd all the
Time I told her the Story and beggd her to advise me what to do and I shewd
her my dear Fathers two Letters and she praised the Honesty and Inditing of
them and said pleasing things to me of you both But she beggd I would not
think of leaving my Service for says she in all Likelihood you behavd so
virtuously that he will be ashamd of what he has done and never offer the
like to you again Tho my dear Pamela said she I fear more for your
Prettiness than for any thing else because the best Man in the Land might love
you so she was pleased to say She said she wished it was in her Power to live
independent that then she would take a little private House and I should live
with her like her Daughter
And so as you orderd me to take her Advice I resolved to tarry to see how
things went without he was to turn me away altho in your first Letter you
orderd me to come away the Moment I had any Reason to be apprehensive So dear
Father and Mother it is not Disobedience I hope that I stay for I could not
expect a Blessing or the good Fruits of your Prayers for me if I was
disobedient
All the next Day I was very sad and began to write my long Letter He saw
me writing and said as I mentiond to Mrs Jervis That Girl is always
scribbling methinks she might find something else to do or to that purpose
And when I had finishd my Letter I put it under the Toilet in my late Ladys
Dressingroom where nobody comes but myself and Mrs Jervis besides my Master
but when I came up again to seal it up to my great Concern it was gone and
Mrs Jervis knew nothing of it and nobody knew of my Masters having been near
the Place in the time so I have been sadly troubled about it But Mrs Jervis
as well as I thinks he has it some how or other and he appears cross and
angry and seems to shun me as much as he said I did him It had better be so
than worse
But he has orderd Mrs Jervis to bid me not spend so much time in writing
which is a poor Matter for such a Gentleman as he to take notice of as I am not
idle otherways if he did not resent what he thought I wrote upon And this has
no very good Look
But I am a good deal easier since I lie with Mrs Jervis tho after all
the Fears I live in on one side and his Frowning and Displeasure at what I do
on the other makes me more miserable than enough
O that I had never left my Rags nor my Poverty to be thus exposd to
Temptations on one hand or Disgusts on the other How happy was I awhile ago
How miserable now Pity and pray for
Your afflicted PAMELA
Letter XIII
My dearest Child
Our Hearts bleed for your Distress and the Temptations you are tried with
You have our hourly Prayers and we would have you flee this evil Great House
and Man if you find he renews his Attempts You ought to have done it at first
had you not had Mrs Jervis to advise with We can find no Fault in your Conduct
hitherto But it makes our Hearts ake for fear of the worst O my Child
Temptations are sore things but yet without them we know not our selves nor
what we are able to do
Your Temptations are very great for you have Riches Youth and a fine
Gentleman as the World reckons him to withstand but how great will be your
Honour to withstand them And when we consider your past Conduct and your
virtuous Education and that you have been bred to be more ashamd of Dishonesty
than Poverty we trust in God that he will enable you to overcome Yet as we
cant see but your Life must be a Burden to you through the great Apprehensions
always upon you and that it may be presumptuous to trust too much to your own
Strength and that you are but very young and the Devil may put it into his
Head to use some Stratagem of which great Men are full to decoy you I think
you had best come home to share our Poverty with Safety than to live with so
much Discontent in a Plenty that itself may be dangerous God direct you for
the best While you have Mrs Jervis for an Adviser and Bedfellow and O my
dear Child that was prudently done of you we are easier than we should be and
so committing you to Gods blessed Protection remain
Your truly loving
but careful Father and Mother
Letter XIV
Dear Father and Mother
Mrs Jervis and I have livd very comfortably together for this Fortnight
past for my Master was all that time at his Lincolnshire Estate and at his
Sisters the Lady Davers But he came home Yesterday He had some Talk with Mrs
Jervis soon after he came home and mostly about me He said to her it seems
Well Mrs Jervis I know Pamela has your good Word but do you think her of any
Use in the Family She told me she was surprisd at the Question but said
That I was one of the most virtuous and industrious young Creatures that ever
she knew Why that Word virtuous said he I pray you Was there any Reason to
suppose her otherwise Or has any body taken it into their Heads to try her I
wonder Sir says she you ask me such a Question Who dare offer any thing to
her in such an orderly and wellgovernd House as yours and under a Master of
so good a Character for Virtue and Honour Your Servant Mrs Jervis says he
for your good Opinion but pray if any body did do you think Pamela would let
you know it Why Sir said she she is a poor innocent young Thing and I
believe has so much Confidence in me that she would take my Advice as soon as
she would her Mothers Innocent again and virtuous I warrant Well Mrs
Jervis you abound with your Epithets but tis my Opinion she is an artful
young Baggage and had I a young handsome Butler or Steward shed soon make her
Market of one of them if she thought it worth while to snap at him for a
Husband Alackaday Sir said she tis early Days with Pamela and she does
not yet think of a Husband I dare say And your Steward and Butler are both Men
in Years and think nothing of the Matter No said he if they were younger
theyd have more Wit than to think of such a Girl Ill tell you my Mind of her
Mrs Jervis I dont think this same Favourite of yours so very artless a Girl
as you imagine I am not to dispute with your Honour about her said Mrs
Jervis but I dare say if the Men will let her alone shell never trouble
herself about them Why Mrs Jervis said he are there any Men that will not
let her alone that you know of No indeed Sir said she she keeps herself so
much to herself and yet behaves so prudently that they all esteem her and
shew her as great Respect as if she was a Gentlewoman born
Ay says he thats her Art that I was speaking of But let me tell you
the Girl has Vanity and Conceit and Pride too or I am mistaken and I could
give you perhaps an Instance of it Sir said she you can see further than such
a poor silly Woman as me but I never saw any thing but Innocence in her And
Virtue too Ill warrant ye said he But suppose I could give you an Instance
where she has talkd a little too freely of the Kindnesses that have been shewd
her from a certain Quarter and has had the Vanity to impute a few kind Words
utterd in mere Compassion to her Youth and Circumstances into a Design upon
her and even dard to make free with Names that she ought never to mention but
with Reverence and Gratitude what would you say to that Say Sir said she
I cannot tell what to say But I hope Pamela incapable of such Ingratitude
Well no more of this silly Girl says he you may only advise her as you
are her Friend not to give herself too much Licence upon the Favours she meets
with and if she stays here that she will not write the Affairs of my Family
purely for an Exercise to her Pen and her Invention I tell you she is a subtle
artful Gypsey and time will shew it you
Was ever the like heard my dear Father and Mother It is plain he did not
expect to meet with such a Repulse and mistrusts that I have told Mrs Jervis
and has my long Letter too that I intended for you and so is vexd to the
Heart But however I cant help it So I had better be thought artful and
subtle than be so in his Sense and as light as he makes of the Words Virtue
and Innocence in me he would have made a less angry Construction had I less
deserved that he should do so for then may be my Crime would have been my
Virtue with him naughty Gentleman as he is I will soon write again but must
now end with saying That I am and shall always be
Your honest Daughter
Letter XV
Dear Mother
I Broke off abruptly my last Letter for I feard he was coming and so it
happend I thrust the Letter into my Bosom and took up my Work which lay by
me but I had so little of the Artful as he called it that I lookd as
confused as if I had been doing some great Harm
Sit still Pamela said he and mind your Work for all me You dont tell
me I am welcome home after my Journey to Lincolnshire It would be hard Sir
said I if you was not always welcome to your Honours own House
I would have gone but he said Dont run away I tell you I have a Word or
two to say to you Good Sirs how my Heart went pitapat When I was a little
kind said he to you in the Summerhouse and you carryd yourself so foolishly
upon it as if I had intended to do you great harm did I not tell you you
should take no Notice of what passd to any Creature And yet you have made a
common Talk of the Matter not considering either my Reputation or your own I
made a common Talk of it Sir said I I have nobody to talk to hardly
He interrupted me and said Hardly you little Equivocator what do you
mean by hardly Let me ask you Have you not told Mrs Jervis for one Pray your
Honour said I all in Agitation let me go down for tis not for me to hold an
Argument with your Honour Equivocator again said he and took my Hand what
do you talk of an Argument Is it holding an Argument with me to answer a plain
Question Answer me what I asked O good Sir said I let me beg you will not
urge me further for fear I forget myself again and be sawcy
Answer me then I bid you says he Have you told Mrs Jervis It will be
sawcy in you if you dont answer me directly to what I ask Sir said I and
fain would have pulled my Hand away may be I should be for answering you by
another Question and that would not become me What is it says he you would
say Speak out
Then Sir said I why should your Honour be so angry I should tell Mrs
Jervis or any body else what passed if you intended no harm
Well said pretty Innocent and Artless as Mrs Jervis calls you said he
and is it thus you taunt and retort upon me insolent as you are But still I
will be answered directly to my Question Why then Sir said I I will not tell
a Lye for the World I did tell Mrs Jervis for my Heart was almost broke but
I opend not my Mouth to any other Very well Boldface said he and
Equivocator again You did not open your Mouth to any other but did you not
write to some other Why now and please your Honour said I for I was quite
courageous just then you could not have asked me this Question if you had not
taken from me my Letter to my Father and Mother in which I own I had broke my
Mind freely to them and asked their Advice and poured forth my Griefs
And so I am to be exposed am I said he in my House and out of my House
to the whole World by such a Sawcebox as you No good Sir said I and I hope
your Honour wont be angry with me it is not me that expose you if I say
nothing but the Truth So taunting again Assurance as you are said he I will
not be thus talkd to
Pray Sir said I who can a poor Girl take Advice of if it must not be of
her Father and Mother and such a good Woman as Mrs Jervis who for her
Sexsake should give it me when asked Insolence said he and stampd with his
Foot Am I to be questiond thus by such a one as you I fell down on my Knees
and said For Gods sake your Honour pity a poor distressed Creature that
knows nothing of her Duty but how to cherish her Virtue and good Name I have
nothing else to trust to and tho poor and friendless here yet I have always
been taught to value Honesty above my Life Heres ado with your Honesty said
he foolish Girl Is it not one Part of Honesty to be dutiful and grateful to
your Master do you think Indeed Sir said I it is impossible I should be
ingrateful to your Honour or disobedient or deserve the Names of Boldface and
Insolent which you call me but when your Commands are contrary to that first
Duty which shall ever be the Principle of my Life
He seemd to be moved and rose up and walked into the great Chamber two or
three Turns leaving me on my Knees and I threw my Apron over my Face and laid
my Head on a Chair and cryd as if my Heart would break having no Power to
stir
At last he came in again but alas with Mischief in his Heart and raising
me up he said Rise Pamela rise you are your own Enemy Your perverse Folly
will be your Ruin I tell you this that I am very much displeased with the
Freedoms you have taken with my Name to my Housekeeper as also to your Father
and Mother and you may as well have real Cause to take these Freedoms with me
as to make my Name suffer for imaginary ones And saying so he offerd to take
me on his Knee with some Force O how I was terrifyd I said like as I had
read in a Book a Night or two before Angels and Saints and all the Host of
Heaven defend me And may I never survive one Moment that fatal one in which I
shall forfeit my Innocence Pretty Fool said he how will you forfeit your
Innocence if you are obligd to yield to a Force you cannot withstand Be easy
said he for let the worst happen that can youll have the Merit and I the
Blame and it will be a good Subject for Letters to your Father and Mother and
a Tale into the Bargain for Mrs Jervis
He by Force kissed my Neck and Lips and said Who ever blamed Lucretia but
the Ravisher only and I am content to take all the Blame upon me as I have
already borne too great a Share for what I have deservd May I said I
Lucretia like justify myself with my Death if I am used barbarously O my good
Girl said he tauntingly you are well read I see and we shall make out
between us before we have done a pretty Story in Romance I warrant ye
He then put his Hand in my Bosom and the Indignation gave me double
Strength and I got loose from him by a sudden Spring and ran out of the Room
and the next Chamber being open I made shift to get into it and threwto the
Door and the Key being on the Inside it locked but he followd me so close
he got hold of my Gown and tore a Piece off which hung without the Door
I just remember I got into the Room for I knew nothing further of the
Matter till afterwards for I fell into a Fit with my Fright and Terror and
there I lay till he as I suppose looking through the Keyhole spyd me lying
all along upon the Floor stretchd out at my Length and then he calld Mrs
Jervis to me who by his Assistance bursting open the Door he went away
seeing me coming to myself and bid her say nothing of the Matter if she was
wise
Poor Mrs Jervis thought it was worse and cryd over me like as if she was
my Mother and I was two Hours before I came to myself and just as I got a
little up on my Feet he coming in I went away again with the Terror and so he
withdrew again But he staid in the next Room to let nobody come near us that
his foul Proceedings might not be known
Mrs Jervis gave me her Smellingbottle and had cut my Laces and sat me in
a great Chair and he calld her to him How is the Girl said he I never saw
such a Fool in my Life I did nothing at all to her Mrs Jervis could not speak
for crying So he said she has told you it seems that I was kind to her in
the Summerhouse tho Ill assure you I was quite innocent then as well as
now and I desire you to keep this Matter to yourself and let me not be namd
in it
O Sir said she for your Honours sake and for Christs sake But he
would not hear her and said For your own sake I tell you Mrs Jervis say
not a Word more I have done her no harm And I wont have her stay in my House
prating perverse Fool as she is But since she is so apt to fall into Fits or
at least pretend to do so prepare her to see me Tomorrow after Dinner in my
Mothers Closet and do you be with her and you shall hear what passes between
us
And so he went out in a Pet and orderd his Chariot and Four to be got
ready and went away a Visiting somewhere
Mrs Jervis then came to me and I told her all that had happend and said
I was resolvd not to stay in the House and she saying He seemd to threaten
as much I said Thank God then I shall be easy So she told me all he had said
to her as I have said above
Mrs Jervis is very loth I should go and yet poor Woman she begins to be
afraid for herself but would not have me ruind for the World She says To be
sure he means no good but may be now he sees me so resolute he will give over
all Attempts And that I shall know what to do better after Tomorrow when I am
to appear before a very bad Judge I doubt
O how I dread this Tomorrows Appearance But be assured my dear Parents
of the Honesty of your poor Child As I am sure I am of your Prayers for
Your dutiful Daughter
Oh this frightful Tomorrow how I dread it
Letter XVI
My dear Parents
I Know you longed to hear from me soon I send as soon as I could
Well you may believe how uneasily I passed the Time till his appointed Hour
came Every Minute as it grew nearer my Terrors increased and sometimes I had
great Courage and sometimes none at all and I thought I should faint when it
came to the Time my Master had dined I could neither eat nor drink for my
part and do what I could my Eyes were swelld with crying
At last he went up to the Closet which was my good Ladys Dressingroom a
Room I once lovd but then as much hated
Dont your Heart ake for me I am sure mine flutterd about like a Bird in
a Cage new caught O Pamela said I to my self why art thou so foolish and
fearful Thou hast done no harm what if thou fearest an unjust Judge when
thou art innocent wouldst thou do before a just one if thou wert guilty Have
Courage Pamela thou knowest the worst And how easy a Choice Poverty and
Honesty is rather than Plenty and Wickedness
So I cheard myself but yet my poor Heart sunk and my Spirits were quite
broken Every thing that stirred I thought was to call me to my Account I
dreaded it and yet I wished it to come
Well at last he rung the Bell O thought I that it was my Passingbell
Mrs Jervis went up with a full Heart enough poor good Woman He said Wheres
Pamela let her come up and do you come with her She came to me I was ready
to come with my Feet but my Heart was with my dear Father and Mother wishing
to share your Poverty and Happiness But I went
O how can wicked Men look so steddy and untouchd with such black Hearts
while poor Innocents look like Malefactors before them
He looked so stern that my Heart failed me and I wishd myself anywhere
but there tho I had before been summoning up all my Courage Good God of
Heaven said I to myself give me Courage to stand before this naughty Master O
soften him or harden me
Come in Fool said he angrily as soon as he saw me and snatchd my Hand
with a Pull you may well be ashamd to see me after your Noise and Nonsense
and exposing me as you have done I ashamed to see you thought I Very pretty
indeed But I said nothing
Mrs Jervis said he here you are both together Do you sit down but let
her stand if she will Ay thought I if I can for my Knees beat one against
another Did you not think when you saw the Girl in the way you found her in
that I had given her the greatest Occasion that could possibly be given any
Woman And that I had actually ruind her as she calls it Tell me could you
think any thing less Indeed says she I feard so at first Has she told you
what I did to her and all I did to her to occasion all this Folly by which my
Reputation might have sufferd in your Opinion and in that of all the Family
Tell me what has she told you
She was a little too much frighted as she owned afterwards at his
Sternness and said Indeed she told me you only pulled her on your Knee and
kissed her
Then I plucked up my Spirit a little Only Mrs Jervis said I and was not
that enough to shew me what I had to fear When a Master of his Honours Degree
demeans himself to be so free as that to such a poor Servant as me what is the
next to be expected But your Honour went further so you did and threatend
what you would do and talkd of Lucretia and her hard Fate Your Honour
knows you went too far for a Master to a Servant or even to his Equal and I
cannot bear it So I fell a crying most sadly
Mrs Jervis began to excuse me and to beg he would pity a poor Maiden that
had such a Value for her Reputation He said I speak it to her Face I think
her very pretty and I thought her humble and one that would not grow upon my
Favours or the Notice I took of her but I abhor the Thought of forcing her to
any thing. I know myself better said he and what belongs to me And to be sure
I have enough demeand myself to take so much Notice of such a one as she but I
was bewitchd I think by her to be freer than became me tho I had no
Intention to carry the Jest farther
What poor Stuff was all this my dear Mother from a Man of his Sense But
see how a bad Cause and bad Actions confound the greatest Wits It gave me a
little more Courage then for Innocence I find in a weak Mind has many
Advantages over Guilt with all its Riches and Wisdom
So I said Your Honour may call this Jest or Sport or what you please but
indeed Sir it is not a Jest that becomes the Distance between a Master and a
Servant Do you hear Mrs Jervis said he Do you hear the Pertness of the
Creature I had a good deal of this Sort before in the Summerhouse and
Yesterday too which made me rougher to her than perhaps I had otherwise been
Says Mrs Jervis Pamela dont be pert to his Honour You should know your
Distance you see his Honour was only in jest O dear Mrs Jervis said I
dont you blame me too It is very difficult to keep ones Distance to the
greatest of Men when they wont keep it themselves to their meanest Servants
See again said he could you believe this of the young Baggage if you had
not heard it O good your Honour said the wellmeaning Gentlewoman pity and
forgive the poor Girl she is but a Girl and her Virtue is very dear to her
and I will pawn my Life for her she will never be pert to your Honour if
youll be so good as to molest her no more nor frighten her again Said she
You see how by her Fit she was in Terror she could not help it and tho your
Honour intended her no harm yet the Apprehension was almost Death to her And I
had much ado to bring her to herself again O the little Hypocrite said he she
has all the Arts of her Sex they are born with her and I told you awhile ago
you did not know her But said he this was not the Reason principally of my
calling you before me both together I find I am likely to suffer in my
Reputation by the Perverseness and Folly of this Girl She has told you all and
perhaps more than all nay I make no doubt of it and she has written Letters
for I find she is a mighty Letterwriter to her Father and Mother and others
as far as I know in which she makes herself an Angel of Light and me her kind
Master and Benefactor a Devil incarnate O how People will sometimes
thought I call themselves by the right Names And all this I wont bear and
so I am resolvd she shall return to the Distresses and Poverty she was taken
from and let her take care how she uses my Name with Freedom when she is gone
from me
I was brightend up at once upon these welcome Words And I threw myself
upon my Knees at his Feet with a most sincere glad Heart and I said God
Almighty bless your Honour for your Resolution Now I shall be happy and permit
me on my bended Knees to thank your Honour for all the Benefits and Favours
you have heaped upon me For the Opportunities I have had of Improvement and
Learning through my good Ladys Means and yours I will now forget all your
Honour has done to me And I promise you that I will never take your Name in my
Lips but with Reverence and Gratitude And so God Almighty bless your Honour
for ever and ever Amen And so I got up and went away with anotherguise
sort of Heart than I came into his Presence with And so I fell to writing this
Letter And thank God all is over
And now my dearest Father and Mother expect to see soon your poor Daughter
with an humble and dutiful Mind returnd to you And dont fear but I know how
to be happy with you as ever For I will lie in the Loft as I used to do and
pray let the little Bed be got ready and I have a little Money which will buy
me a Suit of Cloaths fitter for my Condition than what I have and I will get
Mrs Mumford to help me to some Needlework and fear not that I shall be a
Burden to you if my Health continues and I know God will bless me if not for
my own sake for both your sakes who have in all your Trials and Misfortunes
preserved so much Integrity as makes every body speak well of you both But I
hope he will let good Mrs Jervis give me a Character for fear it should be
thought I was turnd away for Dishonesty
And so God bless you both and may you be blest for me and I blest for you
And I will always bless my Master and Mrs Jervis And so good Night for it is
late and I shall be soon called tobed
I hope Mrs Jervis is not angry with me because she has not called me to
Supper with her tho I could eat nothing if she had But I make no doubt I
shall sleep purely to Night and dream that I am with you in my dear dear
happy Loft once more
So good Night again my dear Father and Mother says
Your honest poor Daughter
Mayhap I maynt come this Week because I must get up the Linen and leave
every thing belonging to my Place in Order So send me a Line if you can to let
me know if I shall be welcome by John wholl call for it as he returns But
say nothing of my coming away to him as yet For it will be said I blab every
thing
Letter XVII
My dearest Daughter
Welcome welcome ten times welcome shall you be to us for you come to us
innocent and happy and honest and you are the Staff of our Oldage and our
Comfort too And tho we cannot do for you as we would yet we doubt not we
shall live comfortably together and what with my diligent Labour and your poor
Mothers Spinning and your Needlework I make no doubt we shall live better
and better Only your poor Mothers Eyes begin to fail her tho I bless God I
am as strong and able and willing to labour as ever and Oh my dear Child
your Virtue has made me I think stronger and better than I was before What
blessed Things are Trials and Temptations to us when they be overcome
But I am thinking about those same four Guineas I think you should give
them back again to your Master and yet I have broke them Alas I have only
three left but I will borrow it if I can Part upon my Wages and Part of Mrs
Mumford and send it to you that you may return it against John comes next if
he comes again before you
I want to know how you come I fansy honest John will be glad to bear you
Company Part of the Way if your Master is not so cross as to forbid him And if
I know time enough your Mother will go one five Miles and I will go ten on the
Way or till I meet you as far as one Holiday will go For that I can get Leave
for and we shall receive you with more Pleasure than we had at your Birth when
all the worst was over or than we ever had in our Lives
And so God bless you till the happy Time comes say both your Mother and I
which is all at present from
Your truly loving Parents
Letter XVIII
Dear Father and Mother
I Thank you a thousand times for your Goodness to me expressd in your last
Letter I now long to get my Business done and come to my NewOld Lot again
as I may call it I have been quite another thing since my Master has turnd me
off and as I shall come to you an honest Daughter what Pleasure it is to what
I should have if I could not have seen you but as a guilty one Well my
writing Time will soon be over and so I will make Use of it now and tell you
all that has happend since my last Letter
I wonderd Mrs Jervis did not call me to sup with her and feard she was
angry and when I had finishd my Letter I longd for her coming to Bed At
last she came up but seemd shy and reservd and I said O my dear Mrs
Jervis I am glad to see you you are not angry with me I hope She said she
was sorry Things went so far and that she had a great deal of Talk with my
Master after I was gone She said he seemd movd at what I said and at my
falling on my Knees to him and my Prayer for him at my going away He said I
was a strange Girl he knew not what to make of me And is she gone said he I
intended to say something else to her but she behavd so oddly that I had not
Power to stop her She askd if she should call me again He said Yes and
then No let her go it is best for her and me too that she shall go now I
have given her Warning But where she had it I cant tell but I never met with
the Fellow of her in my Life at any Age She said he had orderd her not to
tell me all but she believd he never would offer any thing to me again and I
might stay she fansyd if I would beg it as a Favour tho she was not sure
neither
I stay dear Mrs Jervis said I why tis the best News that could have
come to me that he will let me go I do nothing but long to go back again to my
Poverty and Distress as he said I should for tho I am sure of the Poverty I
shall not have Half the Distress I have had for some Months past Ill assure
you
Mrs Jervis dear good Soul wept over me and said Well well Pamela I
did not think I had shewd so little Love to you as that you should express so
much Joy to leave me I am sure I never had a Child half so dear to me as you
I cryd to hear her so good to me as indeed she has always been and said
What would you have me to do dear Mrs Jervis I love you next to my own Father
and Mother and you are the chief Concern I have to leave this Place but I am
sure it is certain Ruin if I stay After such Offers and such Threatenings and
his comparing himself to a wicked Ravisher in the very Time of his last Offer
and making a Jest of me that we should make a pretty Story in Romances can I
stay and be safe Has he not demeand himself twice and it behoves me to
beware of the third Time for fear he should lay his Snares surer for mayhap
he did not expect a poor Servant would resist her Master so much And must it
not be lookd upon as a sort of Warrant for such Actions if I stay after this
for I think when one of our Sex finds she is attempted it is an Encouragement
to a Person to proceed if one puts ones self in the Way of it when one can
help it and it shews one can forgive what in short ought not to be forgiven
Which is no small Countenance to foul Actions Ill assure you
She huggd me to her and said Ill assure you Prettyface where gottest
thou all thy Knowledge and thy good Notions at these Years Thou art a Miracle
for thy Age and I shall always love thee But do you resolve to leave us
Pamela
Yes my dear Mrs Jervis said I for as Matters stand how can I do
otherwise But Ill do all the Duties of my Place first if I may And I hope
youll give me a Character as to my Honesty as it may not look as if I was
turnd away for any Harm Ay that I will said she I will give thee such a
Character as never Girl at thy Years deservd And I am sure said I I will
always love and honour you as my third best Friend whereever I go or
whatever becomes of me
And so we went to Bed and I never wakd till twas Time to rise which I
did as blyth as a Bird and went about my Business with great Pleasure
But I believe my Master is fearfully angry with me for he past by me two or
three times and would not speak to me and towards Evening he met me in the
Passage going into the Garden and said such a Word to me as I never heard in
my Life from him to Man Woman or Child for he first said This Creatures
always in my way I think I said standing up as close as I could and the
Entry was wide enough for a Coach too I hope I shant be long in your Honours
Way Dn you said he that was the hard Word for a little Witch I have no
Patience with you
I profess I trembled to hear him say so but I saw he was vexd and as I am
going away I minded it the less But I see my dear Parents that when a Person
will do wicked Things it is no Wonder he will speak wicked Words And so I rest
Your dutiful Daughter
Letter XIX
Dear Father and Mother
Our John having no Opportunity to go your Way I write again and send both
Letters at once I cant say yet when I can get away nor how I shall come
because Mrs Jervis shewd my Master the Waistcoat I am flowering for him and
he said It looks well enough I think the Creature had best stay till she has
finishd it
There is some private Talk carryd on betwixt him and Mrs Jervis that she
dont tell me of but yet she is very kind to me and I dont mistrust her at
all I should be very base if I did But to be sure she must oblige him and
keep all his lawful Commands and other I dare say she wont keep she is too
good and loves me too well but she must stay when I am gone and so must get
no Illwill
She has been at me again to ask to stay and humble myself as she says But
what have I done Mrs Jervis said I If I have been a Sawcebox and a
Boldface and Pert and a Creature as he calls me have I not had Reason Do
you think I should ever have forgot myself if he had not forgot to act as my
Master Tell me from your own Heart dear Mrs Jervis said I if you think I
could stay and be safe What would you think or how would you act in my Case
My dear Pamela said she and kissd me I dont know how I should act or
what I should think I hope I should act as you do But I know nobody else that
would My Master is a fine Gentleman he has a great deal of Wit and Sense and
is admird as I know by half a dozen Ladies who would think themselves happy
in his Addresses He has a noble Estate and yet I believe he loves my good
Maiden tho his Servant better than all the Ladies in the Land and he has
tryd to overcome it because he knows you are so much his Inferior and tis my
Opinion he finds he cant and that vexes his proud Heart and makes him resolve
you shant stay and so he speaks so cross to you when he sees you by Accident
Well but Mrs Jervis said I let me ask you if he can stoop to like such
a poor Girl as I as may be he may for I have read of Things almost as strange
from great Men to poor Damsels What can it be for He may condescend
mayhap to think I may be good enough for his Harlot and those Things dont
disgrace Men that ruin poor Women as the World goes And so if I was wicked
enough he would keep me till I was undone and till his Mind changed for even
wicked Men I have read soon grow weary of Wickedness of one Sort and love
Variety Well then poor Pamela must be turnd off and lookd upon as a vile
abandond Creature and every body would despise her ay and justly too Mrs
Jervis for she that cant keep her Virtue ought to live in Disgrace
But Mrs Jervis said I let me tell you that I hope if I was sure he
would always be kind to me and never turn me off at all that God will give me
his Grace so as to hate and withstand his Temptations were he not only my
Master but my King for the Sins sake and this my poor dear Parents have
always taught me and I should be a sad wicked Creature indeed if for the sake
of Riches or Favour I should forfeit my good Name yea and worse than any
other young body of my Sex because I can so contentedly return to my Poverty
again and think it less Disgrace to be obligd to wear Rags and live upon
Ryebread and Water as I use to do than to be a Harlot to the greatest Man in
the World
Good Mrs Jervis lifted up her Hands and had her Eyes full of Tears God
bless you my dear Love said she you are my Admiration and Delight How
shall I do to part with you
Well good Mrs Jervis said I let me ask you now You and he have had
some Talk and you maynt be sufferd to tell me all But do you think if I
was to ask to stay that he is sorry for what he has done ay and ashamd of it
too for I am sure he ought considering his high Degree and my low Degree and
how I have nothing in the World to trust to but my Honesty Do you think in your
own Conscience now pray answer me truly that he would never offer any thing to
me again and that I could be safe
Alas my dear Child said she dont put thy home Questions to me with that
pretty becoming Earnestness in thy Look I know this that he is vexd at what
he has done he was vexd the first Time more vexd the second Time
Yes said I and so he will be vexd I suppose the third and the fourth
Time too till he has quite ruind your poor Maiden and who will have Cause to
be vexd then
Nay Pamela said she dont imagine that I would be accessary to your Ruin
for the World I only can say that he has yet done you no Hurt and tis no
Wonder that he should love you you are so pretty tho so much beneath him But
I dare swear for him he never will offer you any Force
You say said I that he was sorry for his first Offer in the Summerhouse
well and how long did his Sorrow last Only till he found me by myself and
then he was worse than before and so became sorry again And if he has deignd
to love me and you say cant help it why he cant help it neither if he
should have an Opportunity a third time to distress me And I have read that
many a Man has been ashamd at a Repulse that never would had they succeeded
Besides Mrs Jervis if he really intends to offer no Force What does that
mean While you say he cant help liking me for Love it cannot be Does not
it imply that he hopes to ruin me by my own Consent I think said I and I
hope God would give me Grace to do so that I should not give way to his
Temptations on any Account but it would be very presumptuous in me to rely upon
my own Strength against a Gentleman of his Qualifications and Estate and who
is my Master and thinks himself intitled to call me Boldface and what not
only for standing on my necessary Defence And that where the Good of my Soul
and Body and my Duty to God and my Parents are all concerned How then Mrs
Jervis said I can I ask or wish to stay
Well well says she as he seems very desirous you should not stay I hope
it is from a good Motive for fear he should be tempted to disgrace himself as
well as you No no Mrs Jervis said I I have thought of that too for I
would be glad to think of him with that Duty that becomes me but then he would
have let me gone to Lady Davers and not have hinderd my Preferment And he
would not have said I should return to my Poverty and Distress when I had
been by his Mothers Goodness lifted out of it but that he intended to fright
me and punish me as he thought for not complying with his Wickedness And
this shews me enough what I have to expect from his future Goodness except I
will deserve it at his own dear dear Price
She was silent and I said Well theres no more to be said I must go
thats certain All my Concern will be how to part with you And indeed next to
you with every body for all my Fellowservants have lovd me and you and they
will cost me a Sigh and a Tear too nowandthen I am sure and so I fell
acrying I could not help it For it is a pleasant Thing to one to be in a
House among a great many Fellowservants and be belovd by them all
Nay I should have told you before now how kind and civil Mr Longman our
Steward is Vastly courteous indeed on all Occasions and he said once to Mrs
Jervis he wishd he was a young Man for my sake I should be his Wife and he
would settle all he had upon me on Marriage and you must know he is reckond
worth a Power of Money
I take no Pride in this but bless God and your good Example my dear
Parents that I have been enabled to have every bodys good Word Not but that
our Cook one Day who is a little snappish and cross sometimes said once to me
Why this Pamela of ours goes as fine as a Lady See what it is to have a fine
Face I wonder what the Girl will come to at last
She was hot with her Work and I sneakd away for I seldom went down in the
Kitchen and I heard the Butler say Why Jane nobody has your good Word What
has Mrs Pamela done to you I am sure she offends no body And what said the
peevish Wench have I said to her Foolatum but that she was pretty They
quarreld afterwards I heard but I was sorry for it and troubled myself no
more about it Forgive this silly Prattle from
Your dutiful Daughter
O I forgot to say that I would stay to finish the Waistcoat I never did a
prettier Piece of Work and I am up early and late to get it finishd for I
long to come to you
Letter XX
My dear Father and Mother
I did not send my last Letters so soon as I would because John whether my
Master mistrusts or no I cant say had been sent to Lady Daverss instead of
Isaac who used to go and I could not be so free with nor so well trust Isaac
tho he is very civil to me too So I was forced to stay till John returnd
As I may not have Opportunity to send again soon and yet as I know you keep
my Letters and read them over and over so John told me when you have done
Work so much does your Kindness make you love all that comes from your poor
Daughter and as it may be some little Pleasure to me mayhap to read them
myself when I am come to you to remind me what I have gone thro and how
great Gods Goodness has been to me which I hope will rather strengthen my
good Resolutions that I may not hereafter from my bad Conduct have Reason to
condemn myself from my own Hand as it were For all these Reasons I say I
will write as I have Time and as Matters happen and send the Scribble to you
as I have Opportunity and if I dont every time in Form subscribe as I ought
I am sure you will always believe that it is not for want of Duty So I will
begin where I left off about the Talk between Mrs Jervis and me for me to ask
to stay
Unknown to Mrs Jervis I put a Project as I may call it in Practice I
thought with myself some Days ago Here I shall go home to my poor Father and
Mother and have nothing on my Back that will be fit for my Condition for how
should your poor Daughter look with a Silk Nightgown Silken Petticoats
Cambrick Headcloaths fine Holland Linen lacd Shoes that were my Ladys and
fine Stockens And how in a little while must they have lookd like old
Castoffs indeed and I lookd so for wearing them And People would have said
for poor Folks are envious as well as rich See there Goody Andrewss
Daughter turnd home from her fine Place What a tawdry Figure she makes And
how well that Garb becomes her poor Parents Circumstances And how would they
look upon me thought I to myself when they come to be in Tatters and worn
out And how should I look even if I could get homespun Cloths to dwindle into
them one by one as I could get them Maybe an old Silk Gown and a new
Linseywoolsey Petticoat and so on So thinks I I had better get myself at
once quipt in the Dress that would become my Condition and tho it might look
but poor to what I was usd to wear of late Days yet it would serve me when I
came to you for a good Holiday and Sunday Suit and what by Gods Blessing on
my Industry I might maybe make shift to keep up to
So as I was saying unknown to any body I bought of Farmer Nicholss Wife
and Daughters a good sadcolourd Stuff of their own Spinning enough to make
me a Gown and two Petticoats and I made Robings and Facings of a pretty Bit of
printed Calicoe I had by me
I had a pretty good Camlet quilted Coat that I thought might do tolerably
well and I bought two Flannel Undercoats not so good as my Swanskin and fine
Linen ones but what would keep me warm if any Neighbour should get me to go
out to help em to milk nowandthen as sometimes I usd to do formerly for I
am resolvd to do all your good Neighbours what Kindness I can and hope to make
myself as much belovd about you as I am here
I got some pretty good Scots Cloth and made me at Mornings and Nights when
nobody saw me two Shifts and I have enough left for two Shirts and two
Shifts for you my dear Father and Mother When I come home Ill make em for
you and desire your Acceptance as my first Present
Then I bought of a Pedlar two pretty enough roundeard Caps a little
Straw Hat and a Pair of knit Mittens turnd up with white Calicoe and two
Pair of ordinary blue Worsted Hose that make a smartish Appearance with white
Clocks Ill assure you and two Yards of black Ribbon for my Shift Sleeves and
to serve as a Necklace and when I had em all come home I went and lookd upon
them once in two Hours for two Days together For you must know tho I lay
with Mrs Jervis I kept my own little Apartment still for my Cloaths and
nobody went thither but myself Youll say I was no bad Housewife to have savd
so much Money but my dear good Lady was always giving me something
I believd myself the more obligd to do this because as I was turnd away
for what my good Master thought Want of Duty and as he expected other Returns
for his Presents than I intended I bless God to make him so I thought it was
but just to leave his Presents behind me when I went away for you know if I
would not earn his Wages why should I have them
Dont trouble yourself now I think of it about the Four Guineas nor
borrow to make them up for they were given me with some Silver as I told you
as a Perquisite being what my Lady had about her when she dyd and as I hope
for no other Wages I am so vain as to think I have deservd them in the
fourteen Months since my Ladys Death For she good Soul overpaid me before
in Learning and other Kindnesses O had she livd none of these Things might
have happend But God be praisd tis no worse Every thing turns about for
the best thats my Confidence
So as I was saying I have provided a new and more suitable Dress and I
long to appear in my new Cloaths more than ever I did in any new Cloaths in my
Life for then I shall be soon after with you and at Ease in my Mind But mum
I am etc
Letter XXI
My dear Father and Mother
I Was forcd to break off for I feard my Master was coming but it provd
to be only Mrs Jervis She came to me and said I cant endure you should be
so much by yourself Pamela And I said I dread nothing so much as Company
for my Heart was up at my Mouth now for fear my Master was coming But I always
rejoice to see my dear Mrs Jervis
Said she I have had a world of Talk with my Master about you I am sorry
for it said I that I am made of so much Consequence as to be talkd of by him
O said she I must not tell you all but you are of more Consequence to him
than you think for
Or wish for said I for the Fruits of being of Consequence to him would
make me of none to myself or any body else
Said she thou art as witty as any Lady in the Land I wonder where thou
gottest it But they must be poor Ladies with such great Opportunities I am
sure if they have no more than I But let that pass
I suppose said I that I am of so much Consequence however as to vex him
if it be but to think he cant make a Fool of such a one as I and that is
nothing at all but a Rebuke to the Pride of his high Condition which he did
not expect and knows not how to put up with
There is something in that maybe says she but indeed Pamela he is very
angry at you too and calls you twenty perverse Things wonders at his own
Folly to have shewn you so much Favour as he calls it which he was first
inclind to he says for his Mothers sake and would have persisted to shew
you for your own if you was not your own Enemy
Nay now I shant love you Mrs Jervis said I you are going to persuade
me to ask to stay tho you know the Hazards I run No said she he says you
shall go for he thinks it wont be for his Reputation to keep you But he
wishd dont speak of it for the World Pamela that he knew a Lady of Birth
just such another as yourself in Person and Mind and he would marry her
Tomorrow
I colourd up to the Ears at this Word but said Yet if I was the Lady of
Birth and he would offer to be rude first as he has twice done to poor me I
dont know whether I would have him For she that can bear an Insult of that
kind I should think not worthy to be any Gentlemans Wife any more than he
would be a Gentleman that would offer it
Nay now Pamela said she thou carriest thy Notions a great way Well
dear Mrs Jervis said I very seriously for I could not help it I am more
full of Fears than ever I have only to beg of you as one of the best Friends I
have in the World to say nothing of my asking to stay To say my Master likes
me when I know what End he aims at is Abomination to my Ears and I shant
think myself safe till I am at my poor Fathers and Mothers
She was a little angry at me till I assurd her that I had not the least
Uneasiness on her Account but thought myself safe under her Protection and
Friendship And so we dropt the Discourse for that Time
I hope to have finishd this ugly Waistcoat in two Days after which I have
only some Linen to get up and do something to and shall then let you know how
I shall contrive as to my Passage for the heavy Rains will make it sad
travelling on Foot But maybe I may get a Place to which is ten Miles of
the Way in Farmer Nicholss close Cart for I cant sit a Horse well at all
And maybe nobody will be sufferd to see me on upon the Way But I hope to let
you know more
From etc
Letter XXII
My dear Father and Mother
All my Fellowservants have now some Notion that I am to go away but cant
imagine for what Mrs Jervis tells them that my Father and Mother growing in
Years cannot live without me and so I go to them to help to comfort their old
Age but they seem not to believe it
What they found it out by was the Butler heard him say to me as I passd
by him in the Entry leading to the Hall Whos that Pamela Sir said I
Pamela said he How long are you to stay here Only please your Honour said
I till I have done the Waistcoat and it is almost done You might says he
very roughly indeed have finishd that long enough ago I should have thought
Indeed and please your Honour said I I have workd early and late upon it
there is a great deal of Work in it Work in it said he yes you mind your Pen
more than your Needle I dont want such idle Sluts to stay in my House
He seemd startled when he saw the Butler As he enterd the Hall where
Mr Jonathan stood What do you here said he The Butler was as much
confounded as I for I never having been taxd so roughly could not help crying
sadly and got out of both their ways to Mrs Jervis and told my Complaint
This Love said she is the Dl in how many strange Shapes does it make People
shew themselves And in some the farthest from their Hearts
So one and then another has been since whispering Pray Mrs Jervis are
we to lose Mrs Pamela as they always call me What has she done And then she
tells them as above about going home to you
She said afterwards to me Well Pamela you have made our Master from the
sweetesttemperd Gentleman in the World one of the most peevish But you have
it in your Power to make him as sweettemperd as ever tho I hope in God
youll never do it on his Terms
This was very good in Mrs Jervis but it intimated that she thought as ill
of his Designs as I and as she knew his Mind more than I it convincd me that
I ought to get away as fast as I could
My Master came in just now to speak to Mrs Jervis about Houshold Matters
having some Company to dine with him Tomorrow and I stood up and having been
crying at his Roughness in the Entry I turnd away my Face
You may well said he turn away your cursed Face I wish I had never seen
it Mrs Jervis how long is she to be about this Waistcoat
Sir said I if your Honour had pleased I would have taken it with me and
tho it will be now finishd in a few Hours I will do so still and remove this
hateful poor Pamela out of your House and Sight for ever
Mrs Jervis said he not speaking to me I believe this little Slut has the
Power of Witchcraft if ever there was a Witch for she inchants all that come
near her She makes even you who should know better what the World is think
her an Angel of Light
I offerd to go away for I believd he wanted me to ask to stay in my
Place for all this his great Wrath and he said Stay here stay here when I
bid you and snatchd my Hand I trembled and said I will I will for he hurt
my Fingers he graspd me so hard
He seemd to have a mind to say something to me but broke off abruptly and
said Begone And away I trippd as fast as I could and he and Mrs Jervis had
a deal of Talk as she told me and among the rest he expressd himself vexd
to have spoke in Mr Jonathans Hearing
Now you must know that Mr Jonathan our Butler is a very grave good sort
of old Man with his Hair as white as Silver and an honest worthy Man he is I
was hurrying out with a Flea in my Ear as the Saying is and going down Stairs
into the Parlour met him He took hold of my Hands in a gentler manner tho
than my Master with both his and he said Ah sweet sweet Mrs Pamela what
is it I heard just now I am sorry at my Heart but I am sure I will sooner
believe any body in Fault than you Thank you Mr Jonathan said I but as you
value your Place dont be seen speaking to such a one as me I cryd too and
slipt away as fast as I could from him for his own sake lest he should be seen
to pity me
And now I will give you an Instance how much I am in Mr Longmans Esteem
also
I had lost my Pen some how and my Paper being wrote out I steppd to Mr
Longmans our Stewards Office to beg him to give me a Pen or two and a Sheet
or two of Paper He said Aye that I will my sweet Maiden And gave me three
Pens some Wafers a Stick of Wax and twelve Sheets of Paper and coming from
his Desk where he was writing he said Let me have a Word or two with you my
sweet little Mistress for so these two good old Gentlemen often call me for I
believe they love me dearly I hear bad News that we are going to lose you I
hope it is not true Yes it is Sir said I but I was in Hopes it would not be
known till I went away
What a Dl said he ails our Master of late I never saw such an
Alteration in any Man in my Life He is pleasd with nobody as I see and by
what Mr Jonathan tells me just now he was quite out of the way with you What
could you have done to him tro Only Mrs Jervis is a very good Woman or I
should have feard she had been your Enemy
No said I nothing like it Mrs Jervis is a just good Woman and next to
my Father and Mother the best Friend I have in the World Well then says he
it must be worse Shall I guess You are too pretty my sweet Mistress and
maybe too virtuous Ah have I not hit it No good Mr Longman said I dont
think any thing amiss of my Master he is cross and angry with me indeed thats
true but I may have given Occasion for it maybe and because I am obligd to
go to my Father and Mother rather than stay here mayhap he may think me
ungrateful But you know Sir said I that a Father and Mothers Comfort is the
dearest thing to a good Child that can be Sweet Excellence said he this
becomes you but I know the World and Mankind too well tho I must hear and
see and say nothing But God bless my little Sweeting said he whereever you
go And away went I with a Curchee and Thanks
Now this pleases one my dear Father and Mother to be so beloved How
much better by good Fame and Integrity is it to get every ones good Word but
one than by pleasing that one to make every one else ones Enemy and be an
execrable Creature besides I am etc
Letter XXIII
My dear Father and Mother
We had a great many neighbouring Gentlemen and their Ladies this Day at
Dinner and my Master made a fine Entertainment for them And Isaac and Mr
Jonathan and Benjamin waited at Table And Isaac tells Mrs Jervis that the
Ladies will byandby come to see the House and have the Curiosity to see me
for it seems they said to my Master when the Jokes flew about Well Mr B
we understand that you have a Servantmaid who is the greatest Beauty in the
County and we promise ourselves to see her before we go
The Wench is well enough said he but no such Beauty as you talk of Ill
assure ye She was my Mothers Waitingmaid and she on her Deathbed engagd me
to be kind to her She is young and every thing is pretty that is young
Aye aye says one of the Ladies that is true but if your Mother had not
recommended her so strongly there is so much Merit to Beauty that I make no
doubt such a fine Gentleman would have wanted no such strong Inducement to be
kind
They all laughd at my Master And he it seems laughd for Company but
said I dont know how it is but I see with different Eyes from other People
for I have heard much more Talk of her Prettiness than I think she deserves
She is well enough as I said but I think her greatest Excellence is that she
is humble and courteous and faithful and makes all her Fellowservants love
her my Housekeeper in particular doats upon her and you know Ladies she is
a Woman of Discernment and as for Mr Longman and Jonathan here if they
thought themselves young enough I am told they would fight for her Is it not
true Jonathan Troth Sir said he ant please your Honour I never knew her
Peer and all your Honours Family are of the same Mind Do you hear now said
my Master Well said the Ladies we will make a Visit to Mrs Jervis
byandby and hope to see this Paragon
Well I believe they are coming and I will tell you more byandby I wish
they had come and were gone Why cant they make their Game without me
Well these fine Ladies have been here and gone back again I would have
been absent if I could and did step into the Closet so they saw me not when
they came in
There were four of them Lady Arthur at the great white House on the Hill
Lady Brooks Lady Towers and the other it seems a Countess of some hard
Name I forget what
So Mrs Jervis says one of the Ladies how do you do We are all come to
inquire after your Health I am much obligd to your Ladyships said Mrs
Jervis Will your Ladyships please to sit down But said the Countess we are
not only come to ask after Mrs Jerviss Health neither but we are come to see
a Rarity besides Aye says Lady Arthur I have not seen your Pamela these two
Years and they tell me she is grown wondrous pretty in that Time
Then I wishd I had not been in the Closet for when I came out they must
needs know I heard them but I have often found that bashful Bodies owe
themselves a Spight and frequently confound themselves more by endeavouring to
avoid Confusion
Why yes says Mrs Jervis Pamela is very pretty indeed shes but in the
Closet there Pamela pray step hither I came out all coverd with Blushes
and they smild at one another.
The Countess took me by the Hand Why indeed she was pleasd to say
Report has not been too lavish Ill assure you Dont be ashamd Child and
stard full in my Face I wish I had just such a Face to be ashamd of O how
like a Fool I lookd
Lady Arthur said Aye my good Pamela I say as her Ladyship says Dont be
so confusd tho indeed it becomes you too I think your good Lady departed
made a sweet Choice of such a pretty Attendant She would have been mighty proud
of you as she always was praising you had she livd till now
Ah Madam said Lady Brooks do you think that so dutiful a Son as our
Neighbour who always admird what his Mother lovd does not pride himself for
all what he said at Table in such a pretty Maiden
She lookd with such a malicious sneering Countenance I cannot abide her
Lady Towers said with a free Air for it seems she is calld a Wit Well
Mrs Pamela I cant say I like you so well as these Ladies do for I should
never care if you were my Servant to see you and your Master in the same House
together Then they all set up a great Laugh
I know what I could have said if I durst But they are Ladies and Ladies
may say any thing.
Says Lady Towers Can the pretty Image speak Mrs Jervis I vow she has
speaking Eyes O you little Rogue says she and tapt me on the Cheek you seem
born to undo or to be undone
God forbid and please your Ladyship said I it should be either I beg
said I to withdraw for the Sense I have of my Unworthiness renders me unfit
for such a Presence
I then went away with one of my best Curchees and Lady Towers said as I
went out Prettily said I vow And Lady Brooks said See that Shape I never
saw such a Face and Shape in my Life why she must be better descended than you
have told me
And so belike their Clacks run for half an Hour in my Praises and glad
was I when I got out of the Hearing of them
But it seems they went down with such a Story to my Master and so full of
me that he had a hard Life to stand it but as it was very little to my
Reputation I am sure I could take no Pride in it and I feard it would make no
better for me This gives me another Cause for leaving this House
This is Thursday Morning and next Thursday I hope to set out for I have
finishd my Task and my Master is horrid cross And I am vexd his Crossness
affects me so If ever he had any Kindness towards me I believe he now hates me
heartily
Is it not strange that Love borders so much upon Hate But this wicked Love
is not like the true virtuous Love to be sure That and Hatred must be as far
off as Light and Darkness And how must this Hate have been increased if he
had met with a base Compliance after his wicked Will had been gratifyd
Well one may see by a little what a great deal means For if Innocence
cannot attract common Civility what must Guilt expect when Novelty had ceasd
to have its Charms and Changeableness had taken place of it Thus we read in
Holy Writ that wicked Amnon when he had ruind poor Tamar hated her more than
ever he lovd her and would have turnd her out of Door
How happy am I to be turnd out of Door with that sweet Companion my
Innocence O may that be always my Companion And while I presume not upon my
own Strength and am willing to avoid the Tempter I hope the Divine Grace will
assist me
Forgive me that I repeat in my Letter Part of my hourly Prayer I owe every
thing next to Gods Goodness to your Piety and good Examples my dear Parents
my dear poor Parents I will say because your Poverty is my Pride as your
Integrity shall be my Imitation
As soon as I have dind I will put on my new Cloaths I long to have them
on I know I shall surprise Mrs Jervis with them for she shant see me till I
am fulldressd John is come back and Ill soon send you some of what I have
written I find he is going early in the Morning and so Ill close here that
I am
Your most dutiful Daughter
Dont lose your Time in meeting me because I am so uncertain It is hard if
some how or other I cant get a Passage to you But maybe my Master wont
refuse to let John bring me I can ride behind him I believe well enough for
he is very careful and very honest and you know John as well as I for he
loves you both Besides maybe Mrs Jervis can put me in some way
Letter XXIV
Dear Father and Mother
I shall write on as long as I stay tho I should have nothing but
Sillinesses to write for I know you divert yourselves at Nights with what I
write because it is mine John tells me how much you long for my coming but he
says he told you he hopd something would happen to hinder it
I am glad you did not tell him the Occasion of my coming away for if they
should guess it were better so than to have it from you or me Besides I
really am concernd that my poor Master should cast such a Thought upon such a
Creature as me for besides the Disgrace it has quite turnd his Temper and I
begin to think he likes me and cant help it and yet strives to conquer it
and so finds no way but to be cross to me
Dont think me presumptuous and conceited for it is more my Concern than my
Pride to see such a Gentleman so demean himself and lessen the Regard he used
to have in the Eyes of all his Servants on my Account But I am to tell you of
my new Dress to Day
And so when I had dind up Stairs I went and lockd myself into my little
Room There I trickd myself up as well as I could in my new Garb and put on my
roundeard ordinary Cap but with a green Knot however and my homespun Gown
and Petticoat and plainleather Shoes but yet they are what they call Spanish
Leather and my ordinary Hose ordinary I mean to what I have been lately used
to tho I shall think good Yarn may do very well for every Day when I come
home A plain Muslin Tucker I put on and my black Silk Necklace instead of the
French Necklace my Lady gave me and put the Earrings out of my Ears and when
I was quite quipd I took my Straw Hat in my Hand with its two blue Strings
and lookd about me in the Glass as proud as any thing. To say Truth I never
likd myself so well in my Life
O the Pleasure of descending with Ease Innocence and Resignation Indeed
there is nothing like it An humble Mind I plainly see cannot meet with any
very shocking Disappointment let Fortunes Wheel turn round as it will
So I went down to look for Mrs Jervis to see how she likd me
I met as I was upon the Stairs our Rachel who is the Housemaid and she
made me a low Curchee and I found did not know me So I smild and went to the
Housekeepers Parlour And there sat good Mrs Jervis at Work making a Shift
And would you believe it she did not know me at first but rose up and pulld
off her Spectacles and said Do you want me forsooth I could not help
laughing and said Heyday Mrs Jervis what dont you know me She stood
all in Amaze and lookd at me from Top to Toe Why you surprise me said she
what Pamela Thus metamorphosd How came this about As it happend in stept
my Master and my Back being to him he thought it was a Stranger speaking to
Mrs Jervis and withdrew again and did not hear her ask if his Honour had any
Commands with her She turnd me about and about and I shewd her all my
Dress to my Underpetticoat and she said sitting down Why I am all in Amaze
I must sit down What can all this mean I told her I had no Cloaths suitable
to my Condition when I returnd to my Fathers and so it was better to begin
here as I was soon to go away that all my Fellowservants might see I knew
how to suit myself to the State I was returning to
Well said she I never knew the like of thee But this sad Preparation for
going away for now I see you are quite in Earnest is what I know not how to
get over O my dear Pamela how can I part with you
My Master rung in the back Parlour and so I withdrew and Mrs Jervis went
to attend him It seems he said to her I was coming in to let you know that I
shall go to Lincolnshire and maybe to my Sister Daverss and be absent some
Weeks But pray what pretty neat Damsel was that with you She says she
smild and askd if his Honour did not know who it was No said he I never
saw her before Farmer Nichols or Farmer Brady have neither of them such a
tight prim Lass for a Daughter have they Tho I did not see her Face
neither said he If your Honour wont be angry said she I will introduce her
into your Presence for I think says she she outdoes our Pamela
Now I did not thank her for this as I told her afterwards for it brought a
great deal of Trouble upon me as well as Crossness as you shall hear That
cant be he was pleased to say But if you can find an Excuse for it let her
come in
At that she stept to me and told me I must go in with her to my Master
but said she for Goodness sake let him find you out for he dont know you
Good Sirs Mrs Jervis said I how could you serve me so Besides it looks too
free both in me and to him I tell you said she you shall come in and pray
dont reveal yourself till he finds you out
So I went in foolish as I was tho I must have been seen by him another
time if I had not then And she would make me take my Strawhat in my Hand
I dropt a low Curchee but said never a Word I dare say he knew me as soon
as he saw my Face but was as cunning as Lucifer He came up to me and took me
by the Hand and said Whose pretty Maiden are you I dare say you are Pamela
s Sister you are so like her So neat so clean so pretty Why Child you far
surpass your Sister Pamela
I was all Confusion and would have spoken but he took me about the Neck
Why said he you are very pretty Child I would not be so free with your
Sister you may believe but I must kiss you
O Sir said I I am Pamela indeed I am Indeed I am Pamela her own self
He kissed me for all I could do and said Impossible you are a lovelier
Girl by half than Pamela and sure I may be innocently free with you tho I
would not do her so much Favour
This was a sad Bite upon me indeed and what I could not expect and Mrs
Jervis lookd like a Fool as much as I for her Officiousness At last I got
away and ran out of the Parlour most sadly vexd as you may well think
He talkd a good deal to Mrs Jervis and at last orderd me to come in to
him Come in said he you little Villain for so he calld me good Sirs what
a Name was there Who is it you put your Tricks upon I was resolved never to
honour your Unworthiness said he with so much Notice again and so you must
disguise yourself to attract me and yet pretend like an Hypocrite as you are
I was out of Patience then Hold good Sir said I dont impute Disguise
and Hypocrisy to me above all things for I hate them both mean as I am I
have put on no Disguise What aplague said he for that was his Word do
you mean then by this Dress Why and please your Honour said I I mean one
of the honestest things in the World I have been in Disguise indeed ever since
my good Lady your Mother took me from my poor Parents I came to her Ladyship
so poor and mean that these Cloaths I have on are a princely Suit to those I
had then And her Goodness heapd upon me rich Cloaths and other Bounties And
as I am now returning to my poor Parents again so soon I cannot wear those good
things without being whooted at and so have bought what will be more suitable
to my Degree and be a good Holiday Suit too when I get home
He then took me in his Arms and presently pushd me from him Mrs Jervis
said he take the little Witch from me I can neither bear nor forbear her
Strange Words these But stay you shant go Yet begone No come back
again
I thought he was mad for my Share for he knew not what he would have But
I was going however and he stept after me and took hold of my Arm and brought
me in again I am sure he made my Arm black and blue for the Marks are upon it
still Sir Sir said I pray have Mercy I will I will come in
He sat down and lookd at me and lookd as silly as such a poor Girl as I
I thought afterwards At last he said Well Mrs Jervis as I was telling
you you may suffer her to stay a little longer till I see if my Sister Davers
will have her if mean time she humble herself and ask this as a Favour and
is sorry for her Pertness and the Liberty she has taken with my Character out
of the House and in the House Your Honour indeed told me so said Mrs Jervis
but I never found her inclinable to think herself in Fault Pride and
Perverseness said he with a Vengeance Yet this is your Doatingpiece
Well for once Ill submit myself to tell you Hussy said he to me you may
stay a Fortnight longer till I see my Sister Davers Do you hear what I say to
you Statue can you neither speak nor be thankful Your Honour frights me
so said I that I can hardly speak But I will venture to say that I have only
to beg as a Favour that I may go to my Father and Mother Why Fool says
he wont you like to go to wait on my Sister Davers Sir said I I was once
fond of that Honour but you was pleased to say I might be in Danger from her
Ladyships Nephew or he from me Dd Impertinence said he do you hear
Mrs Jervis do you hear how she retorts upon me Was ever such matchless
Assurance
I then fell a weeping for Mrs Jervis said Fie Pamela fie And I said
My Lot is very hard indeed I am sure I would hurt nobody and I have been it
seems guilty of Indiscretions which have cost me my Place and my Masters
Favour and so have been turnd away And when the Time is come that I should
return to my poor Parents I am not sufferd to go quietly Good your Honour
what have I done that I must be used worse than if I had robbd you Robbd
me said he why so you have Hussy you have robbd me Who I Sir said I
have I robbd you Why then you are a Justice of Peace and may send me to Gaol
if you please and bring me to a Tryal for my Life If you can prove that I have
robbd you I am sure I ought to die
Now I was quite ignorant of his Meaning tho I did not like it when it was
afterwards explaind neither and well thought I what will this come to at
last if poor Pamela is thought a Thief Then I thought in an Instant how I
should shew my Face to my honest poor Parents if I was but suspected
But Sir said I let me ask you but one Question and pray dont let me be
calld Names for it for I dont mean disrespectfully Why if I have done
amiss am I not left to be discharged by your Housekeeper as the other Maids
have been And if Jane or Rachel or Hannah were to offend would your Honour
stoop to take Notice of them And why should you so demean yourself to take
Notice of me Pray Sir if I have not been worse than others why should I
suffer more than others and why should I not be turnd away and theres an End
of it For indeed I am not of Consequence enough for my Master to concern
himself and be angry about such a Creature as me
Do you hear Mrs Jervis cryd he again how pertly I am interrogated by
this sawcy Slut Why Saucebox says he did not my good Mother desire me to
take care of you and have you not been always distinguishd by me above a
common Servant and does your Ingratitude upbraid me for this
I said something mutteringly and he vowd he would hear it I beggd
Excuse but he insisted upon it Why then said I if your Honour must know I
said That my good Lady did not desire your Care to extend to the Summerhouse
and her Dressingroom
Well this was a little sawcy youll say And he flew into such a
Passion that I was forced to run for it and Mrs Jervis said It was happy I
got out of his way
Why what makes him provoke one so then Im almost sorry for it but I
would be glad to get away at any rate For I begin to be fearful now
Just now Mr Jonathan sent me these Lines Lord bless me what shall I
do
»Dear Mrs Pamela Take care of yourself for Rachel heard my Master say to
Mrs Jervis who she believes was pleading for you Say no more Mrs Jervis
for by G I will have her Burn this instantly«
O pray for your poor Daughter I am called to go tobed by Mrs Jervis for
it is past Eleven and I am sure she shall hear of it for all this is owing to
her tho she did not mean any Harm But I have been and am in a strange
Fluster and I suppose too shell say I have been fullpert
O my dear Father and Mother Power and Riches never want Advocates But
poor Gentlewoman she cannot live without him And he has been very good to her
So Goodnight Maybe I shall send this in the Morning but maybe not so
wont conclude tho yet I must say I am
Your most dutiful Daughter
Letter XXV
My dear Parents
O let me take up my Complaint and say Never was poor Creature so unhappy
and so barbarously used as your Pamela O my dear Father and Mother my Hearts
just broke I can neither write as I should do nor let it alone for to whom
but you can I vent my Griefs and keep my poor Heart from bursting Wicked
wicked Man I have no Patience left me But yet dont be frighted for
I hope I hope I am honest But if my Head and my Heart will let me you
shall hear all Is there no Constable nor Headborough tho to take me out of
his House for I am sure I can safely swear the Peace against him But alas he
is greater than any Constable and is a Justice himself such a Justice deliver
me from But God Almighty I hope in time will right me For he knows the
Innocence of my Heart
John went your way in the Morning but I have been too much distracted to
send by him and have seen nobody but Mrs Jervis and Rachel and one I hate to
see And indeed I hate now to see any body Strange things I have to tell you
that happend since last Night that good Mr Jonathans Letter and my Masters
Harshness put me into such a Fluster But I will no more preambulate
I went to Mrs Jerviss Chamber and Oh my dear Father and Mother my
wicked Master had hid himself base Gentleman as he is in her Closet where she
has a few Books and Chest of Drawers and suchlike I little suspected it
tho I used till this sad Night always to look into that Closet and another
in the Room and under the Bed ever since the Summerhouse Trick but never
found any thing; and so I did not do it then being fully resolvd to be angry
with Mrs Jervis for what had happend in the Day and so thought of nothing
else
I sat myself down on one side of the Bed and she on the other and we began
to undress ourselves but she on that side next the wicked Closet that held the
worst Heart in the World So said Mrs Jervis you wont speak to me Pamela I
find you are angry with me Why Mrs Jervis said I so I am a little tis a
Folly to deny it You see what I have sufferd by your forcing me in to my
Master And a Gentlewoman of your Years and Experience must needs know that it
was not fit for me to pretend to be any body else for my own sake nor with
regard to my Master
But said she who would have thought it would have turnd out so Ay said
I little thinking who heard me Lucifer always is ready to promote his own Work
and Workmen You see presently what Use he made of it pretending not to know
me on purpose to be free with me And when he took upon himself to know me to
quarrel with me and use me hardly And you too said I to cry Fie fie
Pamela cut me to the Heart For that encouragd him
Do you think my Dear said she that I would encourage him I never said
so to you before but since you force it from me I must tell you that ever
since you consulted me I have used my utmost Endeavours to divert him from his
wicked Purposes and he has promised fair but to say all in a Word he doats
upon you and I begin to see it is not in his Power to help it
I luckily said nothing of the Note from Mr Jonathan for I began to suspect
all the World almost But I said to try Mrs Jervis Well then what would you
have me do You see he is for having me wait on Lady Davers now
Why Ill tell you freely my dear Pamela said she and I trust to your
Discretion to conceal what I say My Master has been often desiring me to put
you upon asking him to let you stay
Yes said I Mrs Jervis let me interrupt you I will tell you why I could
not think of that It was not the Pride of my Heart but the Pride of my
Honesty For what must have been the Case Here my Master has been very rude to
me once and twice and you say he cannot help it tho he pretends to be sorry
for it Well he has given me Warning to leave my Place and uses me very
harshly mayhap to frighten me to his Purposes as he supposes I would be fond
of staying as indeed I should if I could be safe for I love you and all the
House and value him if he would act as my Master Well then as I know his
Designs and that he owns he cannot help it must I not have asked to stay
knowing he would attempt me again for all you could assure me of was he would
do nothing by Force so I a poor weak Girl was to be left to my own Strength
God knows And was not this to allow him to tempt me as one may say and to
encourage him to go on in his wicked Devices How then Mrs Jervis could I
ask or wish to stay
You say well my dear Child says she and you have a Justness of Thought
above your Years and for all these Confederations and for what I have heard
this Day after you run away and I am glad you went as you did I cannot
persuade you to stay and I shall be glad which is what I never thought I could
have said that you was well at your Fathers for if Lady Davers will entertain
you she may as well have you from thence as here Theres my good Mrs Jervis
said I God will bless you for your good Counsel to a poor Maiden that is hard
beset But pray what did he say said I when I was gone Why says she he was
very angry with you But he would hear it said I I think it was a little bold
but then he provoked me to it And had not my Honesty been in the Case I would
not by any means have been so sawcy Besides Mrs Jervis consider it was the
Truth if he does not love to hear of the Summerhouse and the Dressingroom
why should he not be ashamd to continue in the same Mind But said she when
you had mutterd this to yourself you might have told him any thing else Well
said I I cannot tell a wilful Lye and so theres an End of it But I find you
now give him up and think theres Danger in staying Lord bless me I wish I
was well out of the House tho it was at the Bottom of a wet Ditch on the
wildest Common in England
Why said she it signifies nothing to tell you all he said but it was
enough to make me fear you would not be so safe as I could wish and upon my
Word Pamela I dont wonder he loves you for without Flattery you are a
charming Girl and I never saw you look more lovely in my Life than in that
same new Dress of yours And then it was such a Surprize upon us all I
believe truly you owe some of your Danger to the lovely Appearance you made
Then said I I wish the Cloaths in the Fire I expected no Effect from them
but if any a quite contrary one
Hush said I Mrs Jervis did you not hear something stir in the Closet
No silly Girl said she your Fears are always awake But indeed says I I
think I heard something rustle Maybe says she the Cat may be got there
But I hear nothing
I was hush but she said Prythee my good Girl make haste tobed See if
the Door be fast So I did and was thinking to look in the Closet but hearing
no more Noise thought it needless and so went again and sat myself down on the
Bedside and went on undressing myself And Mrs Jervis being by this time
undrest stept into Bed and bid me hasten for she was sleepy
I dont know what was the Matter but my Heart sadly misgave me but Mr
Jonathans Note was enough to make it do so with what Mrs Jervis had said I
pulled off my Stays and my Stockens and my Gown all to an Underpetticoat
and then hearing a rustling again in the Closet I said God protect us but
before I say my Prayers I must look into this Closet And so was going to it
slip shod when O dreadful out rushd my Master in a rich silk and silver
Morning Gown
I screamd and run to the Bed and Mrs Jervis screamd too and he said
Ill do you no harm if you forbear this Noise but otherwise take what follows
Instantly he came to the Bed for I had crept into it to Mrs Jervis with
my Coat on and my Shoes and taking me in his Arms said Mrs Jervis rise
and just step up Stairs to keep the Maids from coming down at this Noise Ill
do no harm to this Rebel
O for Gods sake for Pitys sake Mrs Jervis said I if I am not
betrayd dont leave me and I beseech you raise all the House No said Mrs
Jervis I will not stir my dear Lamb I will not leave you I wonder at you
Sir said she and kindly threw herself upon my Coat clasping me round the
Waist you shall not hurt this Innocent said she for I will lose my Life in
her Defence Are there not said she enough wicked ones in the World for your
base Purpose but you must attempt such a Lamb as this
He was desperate angry and threatend to throw her out of the Window and
to turn her out of the House the next Morning You need not Sir said she for
I will not stay in it God defend my poor Pamela till Tomorrow and we will
both go together Says he let me but expostulate a Word or two with you
Pamela Pray Pamela said Mrs Jervis dont hear a Word except he leaves the
Bed and goes to the other End of the Room Aye out of the Room said I
expostulate Tomorrow if you must expostulate
I found his Hand in my Bosom and when my Fright let me know it I was ready
to die and I sighed and screamd and fainted away And still he had his Arms
about my Neck and Mrs Jervis was about my Feet and upon my Coat And all in a
cold clammy Sweat was I Pamela Pamela said Mrs Jervis as she tells me
since O h and gave another Shriek my poor Pamela is dead for certain
And so to be sure I was for a time for I knew nothing more of the Matter one
Fit following another till about three Hours after as it provd to be I found
myself in Bed and Mrs Jervis sitting up on one side with her Wrapper about
her and Rachel on the other and no Master for the wicked Wretch was gone But
I was so overjoyd that I hardly could believe myself and I said which were
my first Words Mrs Jervis Mrs Rachel can I be sure it is you God be
praisd God be praisd Where have I been Hush my Dear said Mrs Jervis
you have been in Fit after Fit I never saw any body so frightful in my Life
By this I judgd Mrs Rachel knew nothing of the Matter and it seems my
wicked Master had upon Mrs Jerviss second Noise on my going away slipt out
and as if he had come from his own Chamber disturbed by the Screaming went up
to the Maids Room who hearing the Noise lay trembling and afraid to stir
and bid them go down and see what was the Matter with Mrs Jervis and me And he
charged Mrs Jervis and promised to forgive her for what she had said and done
if she would conceal the Matter So the Maids came down for the Men lie in the
Out and all went up again when I came to myself a little except Rachel who
staid to sit up with me and bear Mrs Jervis Company I believe they all guess
the Matter to be bad enough tho they dare not say any thing.
When I think of my Danger and the Freedoms he actually took tho I believe
Mrs Jervis saved me from worse and she says she did tho what can I think
who was in a Fit and knew nothing of the Matter I am almost distracted
At first I was afraid of Mrs Jervis but I am fully satisfied she is very
good and I should have been lost but for her and she takes on grievously about
it What would have become of me had she gone out of the Room to still the
Maids as he bid her Hed certainly have shut her out and then Mercy on me
what would have become of your poor Pamela
I must leave off a little for my Eyes and my Head are sadly bad O this
was a dreadful Trial This was the worst of all God send me safe from this
dreadful wicked Man Pray for
Your distressed Daughter
Letter XXVI
My dear Father and Mother
I Did not rise till Ten oClock and I had all the Concerns and Wishes of
the Family and Multitudes of Enquiries about me My wicked Master went out
early to hunt but left word he would be in to breakfast And so he was
He came up to our Chamber about Eleven and had nothing to do to be sorry
for he was our Master and so put on sharp Anger at first
I had great Emotions at his entring the Room and threw my Apron over my
Head and fell a crying as if my Heart would break
Mrs Jervis said he since I know you and you me so well I dont know how
we shall live together for the future Sir said she I will take the Liberty to
say what I think is best for us I have so much Grief that you should attempt
to do any Injury to this poor Girl and especially in my Chamber that I should
think myself accessary to the Mischief if I was not to take Notice of it Tho
my Ruin therefore may depend upon it I desire not to stay but pray let poor
Pamela and I go together With all my Heart said he and the sooner the better
She fell a crying I find says he this Girl has made a Party of the whole
House in her Favour against me Her Innocence deserves it of us all said she
very kindly And I never could have thought that the Son of my dear good Lady
departed could have so forfeited his Honour as to endeavour to destroy what he
ought to protect No more of this Mrs Jervis said he I will not bear it As
for Pamela she has a lucky Knack at falling into Fits when she pleases But
the cursed Yellings of you both made me not my self I intended no Harm to her
as I told you both if youd have left your Squallings and I did no Harm
neither but to myself for I raisd a Hornets Nest about my Ears that as far
as I know may have stung to Death my Reputation Sir said Mrs Jervis then I
beg Mr Longman may take my Accounts and I will go away as soon as I can As
for Pamela she is at Liberty I hope to go away next Thursday as she intends
I sat still for I could not speak nor look up and his Presence discomposd
me extremely but I was sorry to hear myself the unhappy Occasion of Mrs Jervis
s losing her Place and hope that may be made up
Well said he let Mr Longman make up your Accounts as soon as you will
and Mrs Jewkes his Housekeeper in Lincolnshire shall come hither in your
Place and wont be less obliging I dare say than you have been Said she I
have never disobligd you till now and let me tell you Sir if you knew what
belongd to your own Reputation or Honour No more no more said he of these
antiquated Topicks I have been no bad Friend to you and I shall always esteem
you tho you have not been so faithful to my Secrets as I could have wishd
and have laid me open to this Girl which has made her more afraid of me than
she had Occasion Well Sir said she after what passd Yesterday and last
Night I think I went rather too far in favour of your Injunctions than
otherwise and I should have deservd every bodys Censure for the basest of
Creatures had I been capable of contributing to your lawless Attempts Still
Mrs Jervis still reflecting upon me and all for imaginary Faults for what
Harm have I done the Girl I wont bear it Ill assure you But yet in
respect to my Mother I am willing to part friendly with you Tho you ought
both of you to reflect on the Freedom of your Conversation in relation to me
which I should have resented more than I do but that I am conscious I had no
Business to demean myself so as to be in your Closet where I might expect to
hear a multitude of Impertinence between you
Well Sir said she you have no Objection I hope to Pamelas going away
on Thursday next You are mighty sollicitous said he about Pamela But no
not I let her go as soon as she will She is a naughty Girl and has brought
all this upon herself and upon me more Trouble than she can have had from me
but I have overcome it all and will never concern myself about her
I have a Proposal made me added he since I have been out this Morning
that I shall go near to embrace and so wish only that a discreet Use may be
made of what is past and theres an End of every thing with me as to Pamela
Ill assure you
I claspd my Hands together thro my Apron overjoyd at this tho I was
so soon to go away For naughty as he has been to me I wish his Prosperity
with all my Heart for my good old Ladys sake
Well Pamela said he you need not now be afraid to speak to me tell me
what you lifted up your Hands at I said not a Word Says he If you like what I
have said give me your Hand upon it I held my Hand thro my Apron for I could
not speak to him and he took hold of it and pressd it tho less hard than he
did my Arm the Day before What does the little Fool cover her Face for said
he Pull your Apron away and let me see how you look after your Freedom of
Speech of me last Night No wonder youre ashamd to see me You know you were
very free with my Character
I could not stand this barbarous Insult as I took it to be considering his
Behaviour to me and I then spoke and said O the Difference between the Minds
of thy Creatures good God How shall some be cast down in their Innocence
while others shall triumph in their Guilt
And so saying I went up Stairs to my Chamber and wrote all this for tho
he vexd me at his Taunting yet I was pleasd to hear he was likely to be
marryd and that his wicked Intentions were so happily overcome as to me and
this made me a little easier And I hope I have passd the worst or else it is
very hard And yet I shant think my self at Ease quite till I am with you For
methinks after all his Repentance and Amendment are mighty suddenly resolvd
upon But Gods Grace is not confind to Space; and Remorse may and I hope has
smote him to the Heart at once for his Injuries to poor me Yet I wont be too
secure neither
Having Opportunity I send now what I know will grieve you to the Heart But
I hope I shall bring my next Scribble myself and so conclude tho half
brokenhearted
Your ever dutiful Daughter
Letter XXVII
Dear Father and Mother
I Am glad I desird you not to meet me and John says you wont for he
says he told you he is sure I shall get a Passage well enough either behind
some one of my Fellowservants on Horseback or by Farmer Nicholss Means But
as for the Chariot he talkd to you of I cant expect that Favour to be sure
and I should not care for it because it would look so much above me But Farmer
Brady they say has a Chaise with one Horse and we hope to borrow that or
hire it rather than fail tho Money runs a little lowish after what I have
laid out but I dont care to say so here tho I warrant I might have what I
would of Mrs Jervis or Mr Jonathan or Mr Longman but then how shall I pay
it youll say And besides I dont love to be beholden
But the chief Reason I am glad you dont set out to meet me is the
Uncertainty for it seems I must stay another Week still and hope certainly to
go Thursday after For poor Mrs Jervis will go at the same time she says and
cant be ready before
God send me with you Tho he is very civil now at present and not so
cross as he was and yet he is as vexatious another way as you shall hear For
Yesterday he had a rich Suit of Cloaths brought home which they call a
Birthday Suit I for he intends to go to London against next Birthday to see
the Court and our Folks will have it he is to be made a Lord I wish they may
make him an honest Man as he was always thought but I have not found it so
God help me
And so as I was saying he had these Cloaths come home and he tryd them
on And before he pulld them off he sent for me when nobody else was in the
Parlour with him Pamela said he you are so neat and so nice in your own
Dress Alas for me I didnt know I was that you must be a Judge of ours
How are these Cloaths made Do they fit me I am no Judge said I and please
your Honour but I think they look very fine
His Waistcoat stood an End with Gold Lace and he lookd very grand But
what he did last has made me very serious and I could make him no Compliments
Said he Why dont you wear your usual Cloaths Tho I think every thing looks
well upon you For I still continue in my new Dress I said I have no Cloaths
Sir I ought to call my own but these And it is no Matter what such a one as I
wears Says he Why you look very serious Pamela I see you can bear Malice
Yes so I can Sir said I according to the Occasion Why said he your Eyes
always look red I think Are you not a Fool to take my last Freedom so much to
Heart I am sure you and that Fool Mrs Jervis frightened me by your hideous
Squalling as much as I could frighten you That is all we had for it said I
and if you could be so afraid of your own Servants knowing of your Attempts upon
a poor unworthy Creature that is under your Protection while I stay surely
your Honour ought to be more afraid of God Almighty in whose Presence we all
stand in every Action of our Lives and to whom the greatest as well as the
least must be accountable let them think what they list
He took my Hand in a kind of goodhumourd Mockery and said Well said my
pretty Preacher when my Lincolnshire Chaplain dies Ill put thee on a Gown and
Cassock and thoult make a good Figure in his Place I wish said I a little
vexd at his Jeer your Honours Conscience would be your Preacher and then you
would need no other Chaplain Well well Pamela said he no more of this
unfashionable Jargon I did not send for you so much for your Opinion of my new
Suit as to tell you you are welcome to stay since Mrs Jervis desires it
till she goes I welcome said I I am sure I shall rejoice when I am out of the
House
Well said he you are an ungrateful Baggage but I am thinking it would be
Pity with these fair soft Hands and that lovely Skin as he calld it that
you should return again to hard Work as you must if you go to your Fathers
and so I would advise her to take a House in London and let Lodgings to us
Members of Parliament when we come to Town and such a pretty Daughter as you
may pass for will always fill her House and shell get a great deal of Money
I was sadly vexd at this barbarous Joke but was ready to cry before and I
gushd out into Tears and said I can expect no better from such a rude
Gentleman Your Behaviour Sir to me has been just of a Piece with these Words
nay I will sayt tho you was to be ever so angry I angry Pamela no no
said he I have overcome all that and as you are to go away I look upon you
now as Mrs Jerviss Guest while you both stay and not as my Servant and so
you may say what you will But Ill tell you Pamela why you need not take this
Matter in such high Disdain You have a very pretty romantic Turn for Virtue
and all that And I dont suppose but youll hold it still and no body will
be able to prevail upon you But my Child fleeringly he spoke it do but
consider what a fine Opportunity you will then have for a Tale every Day to
good Mother Jervis and what Subjects for Letterwriting to your Father and
Mother and what pretty Preachments you may hold forth to the young Gentlemen
Ads my Heart I think it would be the best Thing you and she could do
You do well Sir said I to even your Wit to such a poor Maiden as me But
Sir let me say that if you was not rich and great and I poor and little you
would not insult me so in my Misery Let me ask you Sir if you think this
becomes your fine Cloaths and a Masters Station Why so serious my pretty
Pamela said he why so grave and would kiss me but my Heart was full and I
said Let me alone I will tell you if you was a King and said to me as you
have done that you are no Gentleman And I wont stay to be used thus I will
go to the next Farmers and there wait for Mrs Jervis if she must go And Id
have you know Sir that I can stoop to the ordinaryst Work of your Scullions
for all these nasty soft Hands sooner than bear such ungentlemanly Imputations
Well said he I sent for you in in high good Humour but tis impossible
to hold it with such an Impertinent However Ill keep my Temper But while I
see you here pray dont put on those dismal grave Looks Why Girl you should
forbear em if it were but for your Pridesake for the Family will think you
are grieving to leave the House Then Sir said I I will try to convince them
of the contrary as well as your Honour for I will endeavour to be more
chearful while I stay for that very Reason
Well said he I will set this down by itself, as the first Time that ever
what I advisd had any Weight with you And I hope said I as the first Advice
you have given me of late that was fit to be followd I wish said he Im
almost ashamd to write it impudent Gentleman as he is I wish I had thee as
quick another Way as thou art in thy Repartees And he laughd and I trippd
away as fast as I could Ah thinks I marryd Im sure tis time you was
marryd or at this Rate no honest Maiden will live with you
Why dear Father and Mother to be sure he grows quite a Rake Well you
see how easy it is to go from bad to worse when once People give way to Vice
How would my poor Lady had she livd have grievd to see it But maybe he
would have been better then Tho it seems he told Mrs Jervis he had an
Eye upon me in his Mothers Lifetime and he intended to let me know as much by
the Bye he told her Heres Shamelessness for you Sure the World must be
near an End for all the Gentlemen about are as bad as he almost as far as I
can hear And see the Fruits of such bad Examples There is Squire Martin in
the Grove has had three Lyingsin it seems in his House in three Months
past one by himself and one by his Coachman and one by his Woodman and yet
he has turnd none of them away Indeed how can he when they but follow his
own vile Example There is he and two or three more such as he within ten
Miles of us who keep Company and hunt with our fine Master truly and I
suppose hes never the better for their Examples But God bless me say I and
send me out of this wicked House
But dear Father and Mother what Sort of Creatures must the Womenkind be
do you think to give way to such Wickedness Why this it is that makes every
one be thought of alike And alackaday what a World we live in for it is
grown more a Wonder that the Men are resisted than that the Women comply This
I suppose makes me such a Sawcebox and Boldface and a Creature and all
because I wont be a Sawcebox and Boldface indeed
But I am sorry for these Things one dont know what Arts and Stratagems
these Men may devise to gain their vile Ends and so I will think as well as I
can of these poor Creatures and pity them For you see by my sad Story and
narrow Escapes what Hardships poor Maidens go thro whose Lot is to go out to
Service especially to Houses where there is not the Fear of God and good Rule
kept by the Heads of the Family
You see I am quite grown grave and serious so it becomes
Your dutiful Daughter
Letter XXVIII
Dear Father and Mother
John says you wept when you read my last Letters that he carryd I am
sorry you let him see that for they all mistrust already how Matters are and
as it is no Credit that I have been attempted tho it is that I have resisted
yet I am sorry they have Cause to think so evil of my Master from any of us
Mrs Jervis has made up her Accounts with Mr Longman and I believe will
stay again I am glad of it for her own sake and for my Masters for she has
a good Master of him so indeed all have but poor me and he has a good
Housekeeper in her
Mr Longman it seems took upon him to talk to my Master how faithful and
careful of his Interests she was and how exact in her Accounts and he told
him there was no Comparison between her Accounts and Mrs Jewkess at the
Lincolnshire Estate He said so many fine Things it seems of Mrs Jervis that
my Master sent for her in Mr Longmans Presence and said I might come along
with her I suppose to mortify me that I must go while she was to stay But as
when I go away I am not to go with her nor she with me so I did not matter it
much only it would have been creditable to such a poor Girl that the
Housekeeper would bear me Company if I went
Said he to her Well Mrs Jervis Mr Longman says you have made up your
Accounts with him with your usual Fidelity and Exactness I had a good mind to
make you an Offer of continuing with me if you can be a little sorry for your
hasty Words which indeed were not so respectful as I have deservd at your
Hands She seemd at a sad Loss what to say because Mr Longman was there and
she could not speak of the Occasion of those Words which was me
Indeed said Mr Longman I must needs say before your Face that since I
have known my Masters Family I have never found such good Management and so
much Love and Harmony too I wish the Lincolnshire Estate was as well servd
No more of that said my Master but Mrs Jervis may stay if she will and
here Mrs Jervis pray accept of this which at the Close of every Years
Account I will present you with besides your Salary as long as I find your
Care so useful and agreeable And he gave her five Guineas She made him a low
Curchee and prayd God to bless him and lookd to me as if she would have
spoken of me
He took her Meaning I believe for he said Indeed I love to encourage
Merit and Obligingness Mr Longman but I can never be equally kind to those
who dont deserve it at my Hands and then he lookd full at me Mr Longman
continued he I said that Girl might come in with Mrs Jervis because they love
to be always together For Mrs Jervis is very good to her as if she was her
Daughter But else Mr Longman interrupting him said Good to Mrs Pamela
Aye Sir and so she is to be sure But every body must be good to her
He was going on But my Master said No more no more Mr Longman I see
old Men are taken with pretty young Girls as well as other Folks and fair
Looks hide many a Fault where a Person has the Art to behave obligingly Why
and please your Honour said Mr Longman every body and was going on I
believe to say something more in my Praise but he interrupted him and said
Not a Word more of this Pamela I cant let her stay Ill assure you not only
for her own Freedom of Speech but her Letterwriting of all the Secrets of my
Family Aye said the good old Man Im sorry for that too But Sir No more
I say said my Master for my Reputations so well known mighty fine thought
I that I care not what any body writes or says of me But to tell you the
Truth not that it need go further I think of changing my Condition soon and
you know young Ladies of Birth and Fortune will chuse their own Servants and
thats my chief Reason why Pamela cant stay As for the rest said he the Girl
is a good sort of Body take her all together tho I must needs say a little
pert since my Mothers Death in her Answers and gives me two Words for one
which I cant bear nor is there Reason I should says he you know Mr
Longman No to be sure Sir said he but tis strange methinks she should be
so mild and meek to every one of us in the House and forget herself so where
she should shew most Respect Very true Mr Longman said he Ill assure you
and it was from her Pertness that Mrs Jervis and I had the Words And I should
mind it the less but that the Girl there she stands I say it to her Face
has Wit and Sense above her Years and knows better
I was in great Pain to say something but yet I knew not what before Mr
Longman and Mrs Jervis lookd at me and walkd to the Window to hide her
Concern for me At last I said It is for You Sir to say what you please and
for me only to say God bless your Honour
Poor Mr Longman falterd in his Speech and was ready to cry Said my
insulting Master to me why prythee Pamela now shew thy self as thou art
before Mr Longman Canst not give him a Specimen of that Pertness which thou
hast exercisd upon me sometimes Did not he my dear Father and Mother deserve
all the Truth to be told yet I overcame myself so far as to say Well your
Honour may play upon a poor Girl that you know can answer you but dare not
Why prythee now Insinuator said he say the worst you can before Mr Longman
and Mrs Jervis I challenge the utmost of thy Impertinence and as you are
going away and have the Love of every body I would be a little justifyd to my
Family that you have no Reason to complain of Hardships from me as I have of
pert saucy Answers from you besides exposing me by your Letters
Well Sir said I I am of no Consequence equal to this sure in your
Honours Family that such a great Gentleman as you my Master should need to
justify yourself about me I am glad Mrs Jervis stays with your Honour and I
know I have not deservd to stay and more than that I dont desire to stay
Adsbobbers said Mr Longman and ran to me dont say so dont say so
dear Mrs Pamela We all love you dearly and pray down of your Knees and ask
his Honour Pardon and we will all become Pleaders in a Body and I and Mrs
Jervis too at the Head of it to beg his Honours Pardon and to continue you
at least till his Honour marries No Mr Longman said I I cannot ask nor
will I stay if I might All I desire is to return to my poor Father and Mother
and tho I love you all I wont stay O welladay welladay said the good
old Man I did not expect this When I had got Matters thus far and had made
all up for Mrs Jervis I was in Hopes to have got a double Holiday of Joy for
all the Family in your Pardon too Well said my Master this is a little
Specimen of what I told you Mr Longman You see theres a Spirit you did not
expect
Mrs Jervis told me after that she could stay no longer to hear me so
hardly used and must have spoke had she stayd what would never have been
forgiven her so she went out I lookd after her to go too but my Master said
Come Pamela give another Specimen I desire you to Mr Longman I am sure you
must if you will but speak Well Sir said I since it seems your Greatness
wants to be justified by my Lowness and I have no Desire you should suffer in
the Sight of your Family I will say on my bended Knees and so I kneeled down
that I have been a very faulty and a very ingrateful Creature to the best of
Masters I have been very perverse and sawcy and have deservd nothing at your
Hands but to be turnd out of your Family with Shame and Disgrace I
therefore have nothing to say for myself but that I am not worthy to stay and
so cannot wish to stay and will not stay And so God Almighty bless you Sir
and you Mr Longman and good Mrs Jervis and every living Soul of the Family
and I will pray for you all as long as I live And so I rose up and was
forcd to lean upon my Masters Elbow Chair or I should have sunk down
The poor old Man wept more than I and said Adsbobbers was ever the like
heard Tis too much too much I cant bear it As I hope to live I am quite
melted Dear Sir forgive her The poor Thing prays for you she prays for us
all She owns her Fault yet wont be forgiven I profess I know not what to
make of it
My Master himself hardend Wretch as he was seemd a little movd and
took his Handkerchief out of his Pocket and walkd to the Window What Sort of
a Day is it said he And then getting a little more Hardheartedness he
said Well you may be gone from my Presence thou strange Medley of
Inconsistence but you shant stay after your Time in the House
Nay pray Sir pray Sir said the good old Man relent a little
Adsheartlikins you young Gentlemen are made of Iron and Steel I think Im
sure said he my Hearts turnd into Butter and is running away at my Eyes I
never felt the like before Said my Master with an imperious Tone Get out of
my Presence Hussy I cant bear you in my Sight Sir said I Im going as fast
as I can
But indeed my dear Father and Mother my Head was so giddy and my Limbs
trembled so that I was forcd to go holding by the Wainscot all the way with
both my Hands and thought I should not have got to the Door But when I did as
I hopd this would be my last Interview with this terrible hardhearted Master
I turnd about and made a low Curchee and said God bless you Sir God bless
you Mr Longman And I went into the Lobby leading to the great Hall and dropt
into the first Chair for I could get no further a good while
I leave all these Things to your Reflection my dear Parents but I can
write no more My poor Hearts almost broke Indeed it is O when shall I get
away Send me good God in Safety once to my poor Fathers peaceful Cot
and there the worst that can happen will be Joy in Perfection to what I now
bear O pity
Your distressed Daughter
Letter XXIX
My dear Father and Mother
I must write on tho I shall come so soon for now I have hardly any thing
else to do For I have finishd all that lay upon me to do and only wait the
good Time of setting out Mrs Jervis said I must be low in Pocket for what I
had laid out and so would have presented me with two Guineas of her Five but I
could not take them of her because poor Gentlewoman she pays old Debts for
her Children that were extravagant and wants them herself This tho was very
good in her
I am sorry I shall have but little to bring with me but I know you wont
you are so good and I will work the harder when I come home if I can get a
little Plainwork or any thing to do But all your Neighbourhood is so poor
that I fear I shall want Work but maybe Dame Mumford can help me to something
from some good Family she is acquainted with
Here what a sad Thing it is I have been brought up wrong as Matters
stand For you know my Lady now with God lovd Singing and Dancing and as
she would have it I had a Voice she made me learn both and often and often has
she made me sing her an innocent Song and a good Psalm too and dance before
her And I must learn to flower and draw too and to work fine Work with my
Needle why all this too I have got pretty tolerably at my Fingers End as
they say and she usd to praise me and was a good Judge of such Matters
Well now what is all this to the Purpose as Things have turnd about
Why no more nor less than that I am like the Grashopper in the Fable
which I have read of in my Ladys Books and I will write it down in the very
Words
»As the Ants were airing their Provisions one Winter a hungry
Grashopper as suppose it was poor I beggd a Charity of them They
told him that he should have wrought in Summer if he would not have
wanted in Winter Well says the Grashopper but I was not idle neither
for I sung out the whole Season Nay then said they youll een do
well to make a merry Year of it and dance in Winter to the Tune you
sung in Summer«
So I shall make a fine Figure with my Singing and my Dancing when I come home to
you Nay even I shall be unfit for a Mayday Holidaytime for these Minuets
Rigadoons and French Dances that I have been practising will make me but ill
Company for my rural Milkmaid Companions that are to be Be sure I had better
as Things stand have learnd to wash and scour and brew and bake and
suchlike But I hope if I cant get Work and can get a Place to learn these
soon if any body will have the Goodness to bear with me till I can learn For
I bless God I have an humble and a teachable Mind for all what my Master
says and next to his Grace that is all my Comfort For I shall think nothing
too mean that is honest It may be a little hard at first but woe to my proud
Heart if I shall find it so on Tryal for I will make it bend to its
Condition or will break it
I have read of a good Bishop that was to be burnt for his Religion and he
tryd how he could bear it by putting his Fingers into the lighted Candle So
I tother Day tryd when Rachels Back was turnd if I could not scour the
Pewter Plate she had begun I see I could dot by Degrees tho I blisterd my
Hand in two Places
All the Matter is if I could get Needlework enough I would not spoil my
Fingers by this rough Work But if I cant I hope to make my Hands as red as a
Bloodpudden and as hard as a Beechen Trencher to accommodate them to my
Condition But I must break off heres somebody coming
Twas only our Hannah with a Message from Mrs Jervis But good Sirs there
is some body else Well it is only Rachel I am as much frighted as were the
City Mouse and the Country Mouse in the same Book of Fables at every thing that
stirs Oh I have a Power of these Things to entertain you with in Winter
Evenings when I come home If I can but get Work with a little Time for
reading I hope we shall be very happy over our Peat Fires
What made me hint to you that I should bring but little with me is this
You must know I did intend to do as I have this Afternoon done And that is I
took all my Cloaths and all my Linen and I divided them into three Parcels
and I said It is now Monday Mrs Jervis and I am to go away on Thursday
Morning betimes so tho I know you dont doubt my Honesty I beg you will look
over my poor Matters and let every one have what belongs to them for said I
you know I am resolvd to take with me only what I can properly call my own
Said she I did not know her Drift then to be sure she meant well but I
did not thank her for it when I did know it Let your Things be brought down
into the green Room and I will do any thing you would have me do
With all my Heart said I green Room or any where but I think you might
step up and see em as they lie
However I fetchd em down and laid them in three Parcels as before and
when I had done I went down to call her up to look at them
Now it seems she had prepard my Master for this Scene unknown to me and
in this green Room was a Closet with a Sashdoor and a Curtain before it for
there she puts her Sweetmeats and such Things and she did it it seems to
turn his Heart as knowing what I intended I suppose that he should make me
take the Things and if he had I should have made Money of them to help us
when we got together for to be sure I could never have appeard in them
Well as I was saying he had got unknown to me in this Closet I suppose
while I went to call Mrs Jervis And she since told me it was at his Desire
when she told him something of what I intended or else she would not have done
it Tho I have Reason I am sure to remember the last Closetwork
So I said when she came up Here Mrs Jervis is the first Parcel I will
spread it all abroad These are the Things my good Lady gave me In the first
place said I and so I went on describing the Cloaths and Linen my Lady had
given me mingling Blessings as I proceeded for her Goodness to me and when I
had turnd over that Parcel I said Well so much for the first Parcel Mrs
Jervis that was my Ladys Presents
Now I come to the Presents of my dear virtuous Master Hay you know Closet
for that Mrs Jervis She laughd and said I never saw such a comical Girl in
my Life But go on I will Mrs Jervis said I as soon as I have opend the
Bundle for I was as brisk and as pert as could be little thinking who heard
me
Now here Mrs Jervis said I are my ever worthy Masters Presents and
then I particularizd all those in the second Bundle
After which I turnd to my own and said
Now Mrs Jervis comes poor Pamelas Bundle and a little one it is to the
others First here is a Calicoe Nightgown that I used to wear o Mornings
Twill be rather too good for me when I get home but I must have something
Then there is a quilted Callimancoe Coat and a Pair of Stockens I bought of the
Pedlar and my Strawhat with blue Strings and a Remnant of Scots Cloth which
will make two Shirts and two Shifts the same I have on for my poor Father and
Mother And here are four other Shifts one the Fellow to that I have on
another pretty good one and the other two old fine ones that will serve me to
turn and wind with at home for they are not worth leaving behind me and here
are two Pair of Shoes I have taken the Lace off which I will burn and maybe
will fetch me some little Matter at a Pinch with an old Shoebuckle or two
What do you laugh for Mrs Jervis said I Why you are like an Aprilday
you cry and laugh in a Breath
Well let me see aye here is a Cotton Handkerchief I bought of the Pedlar
there should be another somewhere O here it is And here too are my newbought
knit Mittens And this is my new Flannel Coat the Fellow to that I have on And
in this Parcel pinnd together are several Pieces of printed Callicoe Remnants
of Silks and suchlike that if good Luck should happen and I should get
Work would serve for Robings and Facings and suchlike Uses And here too are
a Pair of Pockets they are too fine for me but I have no worse Bless me said
I I didnt think I had so many good Things
Well Mrs Jervis said I you have seen all my Store and I will now sit down
and tell you a Piece of my Mind
Be brief then said she my good Girl for she was afraid she said
afterwards that I should say too much
Why then the Case is this I am to enter upon a Point of Equity and Conscience
Mrs Jervis and I must beg if you love me youd let me have my own Way Those
Things there of my Ladys I can have no Claim to so as to take them away for
she gave them me supposing I was to wear them in her Service and to do Credit
to her bountiful Heart But since I am to be turnd away you know I cannot
wear them at my poor Fathers for I should bring all the little Village upon my
Back And so I resolve not to have them
Then Mrs Jervis said I I have far less Rights to these of my worthy
Masters For you see what was his Intention in giving them to me So they were
to be the Price of my Shame and if I could make use of them I should think I
should never prosper with them and besides you know Mrs Jervis if I would
not do the good Gentlemans Work why should I take his Wages So in Conscience
in Honour in every thing I have nothing to say to thee thou second wicked
Bundle
But said I come to my Arms my dear third Parcel the Companion of my
Poverty and the Witness of my Honesty and may I never deserve the least Rag
that is contained in thee when I forfeit a Title to that Innocence that I hope
will ever be the Pride of my Life and then I am sure it will be my highest
Comfort at my Death when all the Riches and Pomps of the World will be worse
than the vilest Rags that can be worn by Beggars And so I huggd my third
Bundle
But said I Mrs Jervis and she wept to hear me one thing I have more to
trouble you with and thats all
There are four Guineas you know that came out of my good Ladys Pocket
when she dyd that with some Silver my Master gave me Now those same four
Guineas I sent to my poor Father and Mother and they have broke them but would
make them up if I would And if you think it should be so it shall But pray
tell me honestly your Mind As to the three Years before my Ladys Death do you
think as I had no Wages I may be supposed to be Quits By Quits I cannot
mean that my poor Services should be equal to my Ladys Goodness for thats
impossible But as all her Learning and Education of me as Matters have turnd
will be of little Service to me now for it had been better for me to have been
brought up to hard Labour to be sure for that I must turn to at last if I
cant get a Place and you know in Places too one is subject to such
Temptations as are dreadful to think of So I say by Quits I only mean as I
return all the good Things she gave me whether I may not set my little Services
against my Keeping because as I said my Learning is not now in the Question
and I am sure my dear good Lady would have thought so had she livd But that
too is now out of the Question Well then if so I would ask whether in above
this Year that I have livd with my Master as I am resolvd to leave all his
Gifts behind me I may not have earnd besides my Keeping these four Guineas
and these poor Cloaths here upon my Back and in my third Bundle Now tell me
your Mind freely without Favour or Affection
Alas my dear Maiden said she you make me unable to speak to you at all To be
sure it will be the highest Affront that can be offerd for you to leave any
of these Things behind you and you must take all your Bundles with you or my
Master will never forgive you
Well well Mrs Jervis said I I dont care I have been too much used to
be snubbd and hardly treated by my Master Of late I have done him no Harm and
I shall always pray for him and wish him happy But I dont deserve these
Things I know I dont Then I cant wear em if I should take them so they
can be of no use to me And I trust God will provide for me and not let me want
the poor Pittance that is all I desire to keep Life and Soul together Bread
and Water I can live upon Mrs Jervis with Content Water I shall get
anywhere and if I cant get me Bread I will live like a Bird in Winter upon
Hips and Haws and at other times upon Pignuts and Potatoes or Turneps or any
thing. So what Occasion have I for these Things But all I ask is about these
four Guineas and if you think I need not return them that is all I want to
know To be sure my Dear you need not said she you have well earnd them
by that Waistcoat only No I think not so in that only but in the Linen and
other Things do you think I have Yes yes said she and more And my Keeping
allowd for I mean said I and these poor Cloaths on my Back besides
remember that Mrs Jervis Yes my dear Oddones no doubt you have Well then
said I I am as happy as a Princess I am quite as rich as I wish to be And
once more my dear third Bundle I will hug thee to my Bosom And I beg youll
say nothing of all this till I am gone that my Master maynt be so angry but
that I may go in Peace for my Heart without other Matters will be ready to
break to part with you all
Now Mrs Jervis said I as to one Matter more And that is my Masters
last Usage of me before Mr Longman Said she Prythee dear Pamela step to
my Chamber and fetch me a Paper I left on my Table I have something to shew
you in it I will said I and stept down but this was only a Fetch to take the
Orders of my Master I found it seems he said he thought two or three times to
have burst out upon me but he could not stand it and wishd I might not know
he was there But I tript up again so nimbly for there was no Paper that I
just saw his Back as if coming out of that green Room and going into the next
to it the first Door that was open I whipt in and shut the Door and
bolted it O Mrs Jervis said I what have you done by me I see I can
confide in nobody I am beset on all Hands Wretched wretched Pamela where
shalt thou expect a Friend if Mrs Jervis joins to betray me thus She made
so many Protestations telling me all and that he ownd I had made him wipe his
Eyes two or three times and said she hopd it would have a good Effect and
rememberd me that I had said nothing but would rather move Compassion than
Resentment that I forgave her But oh that I was safe from this House for
never poor Creature sure was so flusterd as I have been for so many Months
together I am called down from this most tedious Scribble I wonder what will
next befall
Your dutiful Daughter
Mrs Jervis says she is sure I shall have the Chariot to carry me home to you
Tho this will look too great for me yet it will shew as if I was not turnd
away quite in Disgrace The travelling Chariot is come from Lincolnshire and I
fansy I shall go in that for the other is quite grand
Letter XXX
My dear Father and Mother
I Write again tho maybe I shall bring it to you in my Pocket myself
For I shall have no Writing nor Writingtime I hope when I come to you This
is Wednesday Morning and I shall I hope set out to you Tomorrow Morning but
I have had more Trials and more Vexation but of another Complexion too a
little tho all from the same Quarter
Yesterday my Master after he came from Hunting sent for me I went with
great Terror for I expected he would storm and be in a fine Passion with me
for my Freedom of Speech before So I was resolvd to begin first with
Submission to disarm his Anger and I fell upon my Knees as soon as I saw him
and I said For Gods Sake good Sir and for the Sake of my dear good Lady your
Mother who recommended me to you with her last Words let me beg you to forgive
me all my Faults as you hope to be forgiven yourself And only grant me this
Favour the last I have to ask you that you will let me depart your House with
Peace and Quietness of Mind that I may take such a Leave of my dear
Fellowservants as befits me and that my Heart be not quite broken
He took me up in a kinder Manner than ever I had known from him and he
said Shut the Door Pamela and come to me in my Closet I want to have a
little serious Talk with you How can I Sir said I how can I and wrung my
Hands O pray Sir let me go out of your Presence I beseech you By the God
that made me said he Ill do you no Harm Shut the Parlour Door and come to
me in my Library
He then went into his Closet which is his Library and full of rich
Pictures besides a noble Apartment tho called a Closet and next the private
Garden into which it has a Door that opens I shut the Parlour Door as he bid
me but stood at it irresolute Place some Confidence in me surely said he you
may when I have spoken thus solemnly So I crept towards him with trembling
Feet and my Heart throbbing thro my Handkerchief Come in said he when I bid
you I did so Pray Sir said I pity and spare me I will said he as I hope
to be savd He sat down upon a rich Settee and took hold of my Hand and said
Dont doubt me Pamela From this Moment I will no more consider you as my
Servant and I desire youll not use me with Ingratitude for the Kindness I am
going to express towards you This a little emboldend me and he said holding
both my Hands in his You have too much Wit and good Sense not to discover that
I in spite of my Heart and all the Pride of it cannot but love you Yes look
up to me my sweet Girl I must say I love you and have put on a Behaviour to
you that was much against my Heart in hopes to frighten you to my Purposes
You see I own it ingenuously and dont play your Sex upon me for it
I was unable to speak and he saw me too much oppressd with Confusion to go
on in that Strain and he said Well Pamela let me know in what Situation of
Life is your Father I know he is a poor Man but is he as low and as honest as
he was when my Mother took you
Then I could speak a little and with a down Look and I felt my Face glow
like Fire I said Yes Sir as poor and as honest too and that is my Pride
Says he I will do something for him if it be not your Fault and make all your
Family happy Ah Sir said I he is happier already than ever he can be if his
Daughters Innocence is to be the Price of your Favour And I beg you will not
speak to me on the only Side than can wound me I have no Design of that sort
said he O Sir said I tell me not so tell me not so Tis easy said he
for me to be the Making of your Father without injuring you Well Sir said I
if this can be done let me know how and all I can do with Innocence shall be
the Study and Practice of my Life But Oh what can such a poor Creature as I
do and do my Duty Said he I would have you stay a Week or Fortnight only
and behave yourself with Kindness to me I stoop to beg it of you and you shall
see all shall turn out beyond your Expectation I see said he you are going to
answer otherwise than I would have you and I begin to be vexd I should thus
meanly sue and so I will say that your Behaviour before honest Longman when I
used you as I did and you could so well have vindicated yourself has quite
charmd me And tho I am not pleased with all you said Yesterday while I was in
the Closet yet you have movd me more to admire you than before and I am
awakend to see more Worthiness in you than ever I saw in any Lady in the World
All the Servants from the highest to the lowest doat upon you instead of
envying you and look upon you in so superior a Light as speaks what you ought
to be I have seen more of your Letters than you imagine This surprizd me
and am quite overcome with your charming manner of Writing so free so easy
and so much above your Sex and all put together makes me as I tell you love
you to Extravagance Now Pamela when I have stoopd so low as to acknowledge
all this oblige me only to stay another Week or Fortnight to give me Time to
bring about some certain Affairs and you shall see how much you shall find your
Account in it
I trembled to find my poor Heart giving way O good Sir said I pray your
Honour spare a poor Maiden that cannot look up to you and speak My Heart is
full And why should you wish to undo me Only oblige me said he to stay a
Fortnight longer and John shall carry word to your Father that I will see him
in the Time either here or at the Swan in his Village O my Heart will burst
said I but on my bended Knees I beg you Sir to let me go tomorrow as I
designd And dont offer to tempt a poor Creature whose whole Will would be to
do yours if my Virtue and my Duty would permit They will they shall permit
it said he for I intend no injury to you God is my Witness Impossible
said I I cannot Sir believe you after what has passd How many Ways are
there to undo poor Creatures Good God protect me this one time and send me
but to my dear Fathers Cot in Safety Strange damnd Fate says he that
when I speak so solemnly I cant be believd What should I believe Sir
said I what can I believe What have you said but that I am to stay a
Fortnight longer and what then is to become of me My Pride of Birth and
Fortune damn them both said he since they cannot obtain Credit with you but
must add to your Suspicions will not let me stoop at once and I ask you but
for a Fortnights Stay that after this Declaration I may pacify those proud
Demands upon me
O how my Heart throbbed and I begun for I did not know what I did to say
the Lords Prayer None of your Beads to me Pamela said he thou art a perfect
Nun I think
But I said aloud with my Eyes lifted up to Heaven Lead me not into
Temptation But deliver me from Evil O my good God He huggd me in his
Arms and said Well my dear Girl then you stay this Fortnight and you shall
see what I will do for you Ill leave you a Moment and walk into the next
Room to give you Time to think of it that you shall see I have no Design upon
you Well this I thought did not look amiss
He went out and I was torturd with twenty different Thoughts in a Minute
sometimes I thought that to stay a Week or Fortnight longer in this House to
obey him while Mrs Jervis was with me could do no great Harm But then
thinks I how do I know what I may be able to do I have withstood his Anger
but may I not relent at his Kindness How shall I stand that Well I hope
thought I by the same protecting Grace in which I will always confide But
then what has he promised Why he will make my poor Father and Mothers Life
comfortable O said I to myself that is a rich Thought but let me not dwell
upon it for fear I should indulge it to my Ruin What can he do for me poor
Girl as I am What can his Greatness stoop to He talks thought I of his
Pride of Heart and Pride of Condition O these are in his Head and in his
Heart too or he would not confess them to me at such an Instant Well then
thought I this can be only to seduce me He has promisd nothing But I am
to see what he will do if I stay a Fortnight and this Fortnight thought I
again is no such great Matter and I shall see in a few Days how he carries
it But then when I again reflected upon the Distance between us and his now
open Declaration of Love as he called it and that after this he would talk
with me on that Subject more plainly than ever and I should be less armd may
be to withstand him and then I bethought myself why if he meant no
Dishonour he should not speak before Mrs Jervis and the odious frightful
Closet came again into my Head and my narrow Escape upon it and how easy it
might be for him to send Mrs Jervis and the Maids out of the way and so that
all the Mischief he designd me might be brought about in less than that Time I
resolved to go away and trust all to Providence and nothing to myself And O
how ought I to bless God for this Resolution as you shall hear
But just as I have writ to this Place John sends me word that he is going this
Minute your way and so I will send so far as I have written and hope by
tomorrow Night to ask your Blessings at your own poor but happy Abode and
tell you the rest by word of Mouth and so I rest till then and for ever
Your dutiful Daughter
Letter XXXI
My dear Father and Mother
I Will continue my Writing still because maybe I shall like to read it
when I am with you to see what Dangers God has enabled me to escape and tho I
bring it in my Pocket
I told you my Resolution my happy Resolution which to be sure God
inspired me with And just then he came in again with great Kindness in his
Looks and said I make no doubt Pamela you will stay this Fortnight to oblige
me I knew not how to frame my Words so as to deny and yet not make him storm
But said I Forgive Sir your poor distressed Maiden I know I cannot possibly
deserve any Favour at your Hands consistent with my Honesty and I beg you will
let me go to my poor Father Why said he thou art the veriest Fool that I ever
knew I tell you I will see your Father Ill send for him here tomorrow in my
Travelling Chariot if you will and Ill let him know what I intend to do for
him and you What Sir may I ask you can that be Your Honours noble Estate
may easily make him happy and not unuseful perhaps to you in some respect or
other But what Price am I to pay for all this You shall be happy as you can
wish said he I do assure you And here I will now give you this Purse in
which are Fifty Guineas which I will allow your Father yearly and find an
Employ suitable to his Liking to deserve that and more Pamela he shall never
want depend upon it I would have given you still more for him but that
perhaps youd suspect I intended it as a Design upon you O Sir said I take
back your Guineas I will not touch one nor will my Father I am sure till he
knows what is to be done for them and particularly what is to become of me Why
then Pamela said he suppose I find a Man of Probity and genteel Calling for a
Husband for you that shall make you a Gentlewoman as long as you live I want
no Husband Sir said I for now I begun to see him in all his black Colours
But being in his Power so I thought I would a little dissemble But said he
you are so pretty that go where you will you will never be free from the
Designs of some or other of our Sex and I shall think I dont answer the Care
of my dying Mother for you who committed you to me if I dont provide you a
Husband to protect your Virtue and your Innocence and a worthy one I have
thought of for you
O black perfidious Creature thought I what an Implement art thou in the
Hands of Lucifer to ruin the innocent Heart But still I dissembled for I
feard much both him and the Place I was in But who pray Sir have you thought
of Why said he young Mr Williams my Chaplain in Lincolnshire who will
make you happy Does he know Sir said I any thing of your Honours
Intentions No my Girl said he and kissed me much against my Will for his
very Breath was now Poison to me but his Dependence on my Favour and your
Beauty and Merit will make him rejoice at my Goodness to him Well Sir said
I then it is time enough to consider of this Matter and this cannot hinder me
from going to my Fathers For what will staying a Fortnight longer signify to
this Your Honours Care and Goodness may extend to me there as well as here
and Mr Williams and all the World shall know that I am not ashamed of my
Fathers Poverty
He would kiss me again and I said If I am to think of Mr Williams or any
body else I beg youll not be so free with me That is not pretty Im sure
Well said he but you stay this next Fortnight and in that time Ill have both
Williams and your Father here for I will have the Match concluded in my House
and when I have brought it on you shall settle it as you please together Mean
time take and send only these Fifty Pieces to your Father as an Earnest of my
Favour and Ill make you all happy Sir said I I beg at least two Hours to
consider of this I shall said he be gone out in one Hour and I would have
you write to your Father what I propose and John shall carry it on purpose
and he shall carry the Purse with him for the good old Man if you approve it
Sir said I I will let you know in one Hour then my Resolution Do so said he
and gave me another Kiss and let me go
O how I rejoiced I had got out of his Clutches So I write you this that
you may see how Matters stand for I am resolvd to come away if possible
Base wicked treacherous Gentleman as he is
So here was a Trap laid for your poor Pamela I tremble to think of it O
what a Scene of Wickedness was here laid down for all my wretched Life
Blackhearted Wretch How I hate him For at first as youll see by what I
have written he would have made me believe other things and this of Mr
Williams I believe came into his Head after he walked out from his Closet as
I suppose to give himself time to think as well as me how to delude me
better But the Covering was now too thin and easy to be seen through
I went to my Chamber and the first thing I did was to write to him for I
thought it was best not to see him again if I could help it and I put it under
his Parlourdoor after I had copyd it as follows
»Honourd Sir
Your last Proposal to me convinces me that I ought not to stay
but to go to my Father if it were but to ask his Advice about Mr
Williams And I am so set upon it that I am not to be persuaded So
honourd Sir with a thousand Thanks for all Favours I will set out
tomorrow early and the Honour you designd me as Mrs Jervis tells
me of your Chariot there will be no Occasion for because I can hire
I believe Farmer Bradys Chaise So begging you will not take it amiss
I shall ever be
Your dutiful Servant
As to the Purse Sir my poor Father to be sure wont forgive me if I take
it till he can know how to deserve it Which is impossible«
So he has since sent Mrs Jervis to tell me that since I am resolvd to go go
I may and the Travelling Chariot shall be ready but it shall be worse for me
for that he will never trouble himself about me as long as he lives Well so I
get out of the House I care not only I should have been glad I could with
Innocence have made you my poor Parents happy
I cannot imagine the Reason of it but John who I thought was gone with my
last is but now going and he sends to know if I have any thing else to carry
So I break off to send you this with the former.
I am now preparing for my Journey and about taking Leave of my good
Fellowservants And if I have not time to write I must tell you the rest when
I am so happy as to be with you
One Word more I slip in a Paper of Verses on my going sad poor Stuff but
as they come from me youll not dislike them maybe I shewd them to Mrs
Jervis and she liked them and took a Copy and made me sing them to her and
in the green Room too but I looked into the Closet first I will only add that
I am
Your dutiful Daughter
Let me just say that he has this Moment sent me five Guineas by Mrs Jervis as
a Present for my Pocket so I shall be very rich for as she brought them I
thought I might take them He says he wont see me And I may go when I will in
the Morning And Lincolnshire Robin shall drive me but he is so angry he
orders that nobody shall go out at the Door with me not so much as into the
Courtyard Well I cant help it not I but does not this expose him more than
me
But John waits and I would have brought this and the other myself but he
says he has put it up among other things and so can take both as well as one
John is very good and very honest God reward him Id give him a Guinea
now Im so rich if I thought hed take it I hear nothing of my Ladys Cloaths
and those my Master gave me For I told Mrs Jervis I would not take them but
I fansy by a Word or two that was dropt they will be sent after me Dear Sirs
what a rich Pamela youll have if they should But as I cant wear them if
they do I dont desire them and will turn them into Money as I can have
Opportunity Well no more Im in a fearful Hurry
Verses on my going away
I
My Fellowservants dear attend
To these few Lines which I have pennd
Im sure theyre from your honest Friend
And Wisherwell poor Pamela
II
I from a State of low Degree
Was taken by our good Lady
Some say it better had been for me
Id still been rustick Pamela
III
But yet my Friends I hope not so
For tho I to my Station low
Again return I joyful go
And think no Shame to Pamela
IV
For what makes out true Happiness
But Innocence and inward Peace
And that thank God I do possess
O happy happy Pamela
V
My future Lot I cannot know
But this Im sure whereeer I go
Whateer I am whateer I do
Ill be the grateful Pamela
VI
No sad Regrets my Heart annoy
Ill pray for all your Peace and Joy
From Master high to Scullion Boy
For all your Loves to Pamela
VII
One thing or two Ive more to say
Gods holy Will be sure obey
And for our Master always pray
As ever shall poor Pamela
VIII
For Oh we pity should the Great
Instead of envying their Estate
Temptations always on em wait
Exempt from which are such as we
IX
Their Riches often are a Snare
At best a pamperd weighty Care
Their Servants far more happy are
At least so thinketh Pamela
X
Your Parents and Relations love
Let them your Duty ever prove
And youll be blessed from above
As will I hope poor Pamela
XI
For if ashamed I could be
Of my poor Parents low Degree
Im sure it would been worse for me
God had not blessed Pamela
XII
Thrice happy may you ever be
Each one in his and her Degree
And Sirs wheneer you think of me
Pray for Content to Pamela
XIII
Yes pray for my Content and Peace
For rest assurd Ill never cease
To pray for all your Joys Increase
While Life is lent to Pamela
XIV
On God all future Good depends
Him let us serve My Sonnet ends
With Thankye Thankye honest Friends
For all your Loves to Pamela
Here it is necessary to observe that the fair Pamelas Tryals were not yet
over but the worst of all were to come at a Time when she thought them all at
an End and that she was returning to her Father For when her Master found her
Virtue was not to be subdud and that he had in vain tryd to conquer his
Passion for her being a Gentleman of Pleasure and Intrigue he had orderd his
Lincolnshire Coachman to bring his Travelling Chariot from thence not caring to
trust his Body Coachman who with the rest of the Servants so greatly loved
and honourd the fair Damsel and having given him Instructions accordingly and
prohibited his other Servants on Pretence of resenting Pamelas Behaviour from
accompanying her any Part of the Way he drove her five Miles on the Way to her
Fathers and then turning off crossd the Country and carried her onward
towards his Lincolnshire Estate
It is also to be observd that the Messenger of her Letters to her Father
who so often pretended Business that way was an Implement in his Masters
Hands and employd by him for that Purpose and who always gave her Letters
first to him and his Master used to open and read them and then send them on
by which means as he hints to her as she observes in one of her Letters p
83 he was no Stranger to what she wrote Thus every way was the poor Virgin
beset And the Whole will shew the base Arts of designing Men to gain their
wicked Ends and how much it behoves the Fair Sex to stand upon their Guard
against their artful Contrivances especially when Riches and Power conspire
against Innocence and a low Estate
A few Words more will be necessary to make the Sequel better understood The
intriguing Gentleman thought fit however to keep back from her Father her
three last Letters in which she mentioned his concealing himself to hear her
partitioning out her Cloaths his last Effort to induce her to stay a Fortnight
his pretended Proposal of the Chaplain and her Hopes of speedily seeing them
as also her Verses and to send himself a Letter to her Father which is as
follows
»Goodman Andrews
You will wonder to receive a Letter from me But I think I am
obliged to let you know that I have discoverd the strange
Correspondence carryd on between you and your Daughter so injurious to
my Honour and Reputation and which I think you should not have
encouragd till you knew the Truth of it Something possibly there
might be in what she has wrote from time to time but believe me with
all her pretended Simplicity and Innocence I never knew so much
romantick Invention as she is Mistress of In short the Girls Heads
turnd by Romances and such idle Stuff which she has given herself up
to ever since her kind Ladys Death And she assumes such Airs as if
she was a Mirror of Perfection and believd every body had a Design
upon her Nay she has not I understand spared me who used to joke
and divert myself with her Innocence as I thought it
Dont mistake me however I believe her very honest and very
virtuous but I have found out also that she is carrying on a sort of
Correspondence or Love Affair with a young Clergyman that I hope in
time to provide for but who at present is destitute of any
Subsistence but my Favour And what would be the Consequence can you
think of two young Folks who have nothing in the World to trust to of
their own to come together with a Family multiplying upon them before
they have Bread to eat
For my Part I have too much Kindness to them both not to endeavour
to prevent it if I can And for this Reason I have sent her out of his
Way for a little while till I can bring them to better Consideration
and I would not therefore have you surprizd you dont see your Daughter
so soon as you might possibly expect
Yet I do assure you upon my Honour that she shall be safe and
inviolate and I hope you dont doubt me notwithstanding any Airs she
may have given herself upon my jocular Pleasantry to her and perhaps a
little innocent Romping with her so usual with young Folks of the two
Sexes when they have been long acquainted and grown up together for
Pride is not my Talent
As she is a mighty Letterwriter I hope she has had the Duty to
apprise you of her Intrigue with the young Clergyman and I know not
whether it meets with your Countenance But now she is absent for a
little while for I know he would have followd her to your Village if
she had gone home and there perhaps they would have ruind one another,
by marrying I doubt not I shall bring him to see his Interest and that
he engages not before he knows how to provide for a Wife And when that
can be done let them come together in Gods Name for me
I expect not to be answerd on this Head but by your good Opinion
and the Confidence you may repose in my Honour being
Your hearty Friend to serve you
PS I find my Man John has been the Manager of the Correspondence in
which such Liberties have been taken with me I shall soon let the sawcy
Fellow know how much I resent his Part of the Affair in a manner that
becomes me It is a hard thing that a Man of my Character in the World
should be used thus freely by his own Servants«
It is easy to guess at the poor old Mans Concern upon reading this Letter from
a Gentleman of so much Consideration He knew not what Course to take and had
no manner of Doubt of his poor Daughters Innocence and that foul Play was
designd her Yet he sometimes hoped the best and was ready to believe the
surmised Correspondence between the Clergyman and her having not receivd the
Letters she wrote which would have cleard up that Affair
But after all he resolved as well to quiet his own as his Wifes
Uneasiness to undertake a Journey to the Squires and leaving his poor Wife
to excuse him to the Farmer who imployd him he sat out that very Night late
as it was and travelling all Night he found himself soon after Daylight at
the Gate of the Gentleman before the Family was up And there he sat down to
rest himself till he should see somebody stirring
The Grooms were the first he saw coming out to water their Horses and he
askd in so distressful a manner what was become of Pamela that they thought
him crasy and said Why what have you to do with Pamela old Fellow Get out
of the Horses Way Where is your Master said the poor Man pray Gentlemen
dont be angry My Hearts almost broke He never gives any thing at the Door
I assure you says one of the Grooms so youll lose your Labour I am not a
Beggar yet said the poor old Man I want nothing of him but my Pamela O my
Child my Child
Ill be hangd says one of them if this is not Mrs Pamelas Father
Indeed indeed said he wringing his Hands I am and weeping Where is my
Child Where is my Pamela Why Father said one of them we beg your Pardon
but she is gone home to you How long have you been come from home O but last
Night said he I have travelled all Night Is the Squire at home or is he
not Yes but he is not stirring tho said the Grooms as yet Thank God for
that said he thank God for that then I hope I may be permitted to speak to
him anon They asked him to go in and he stept into the Stable and sat down on
the Stairs there wiping his Eyes and sighing so sadly that it grieved the
Servants to hear him
The Family was soon raised with the Report of Pamelas Father coming to
inquire after his Daughter and the Maids would fain have had him go into the
Kitchen But Mrs Jervis having been told of his coming got up and hastend
down to her Parlour and took him in with her and there heard all his sad
Story and read the Letter She wept bitterly but yet endeavoured to hide her
Concern and said Well Goodman Andrews I cannot help weeping at your Grief
but I hope there is no Occasion let nobody see this Letter whatever you do I
dare say your Daughters safe
Well but said he I see you Madam know nothing about her If all was
right so good a Gentlewoman as you are would not have been a Stranger to this
To be sure you thought she was with me
Said she My Master does not always inform his Servants of his Proceedings
but you need not doubt his Honour You have his Hand for it And you may see he
can have no Design upon her because he is not from hence and does not talk of
going hence O that is all I have to hope for said he that is all indeed
But said he and was going on when the Report of his coming had reachd the
Squire who came down in his Morninggown and Slippers into the Parlour where
he and Mrs Jervis was
Whats the Matter Goodman Andrews said he whats the Matter O my Child
said the good old Man give me my Child I beseech you Sir Why I thought
says the Squire that I had satisfyd you about her sure you have not a Letter
I sent you written with my own Hand Yes yes but I have Sir said he and
that brought me hither and I have walked all Night Poor Man returnd he with
great seeming Compassion I am sorry for it truly Why your Daughter has made a
strange Racket in my Family and if I thought it would have disturbd you so
much I would have een let her gone home but what I did was to serve her and
you too She is very safe I do assure you Goodman Andrews and you may take my
Honour for it I would not injure her for the World Do you think I would Mrs
Jervis No I hope not Sir said she Hope not said the poor Man so do I
but pray Sir give me my Child that is all I desire and Ill take care no
Clergyman shall come near her
Why London is a great way off said the Squire and I cant send for her
back presently What then said he have you sent my poor Pamela to London I
would not have it said so says the Squire but I assure you upon my Honour
she is quite safe and satisfied and will quickly inform you of as much by
Letter I am sure she is in a reputable Family no less than a Bishops and
will wait on his Lady till I get this Matter over that I mentioned to you
O how shall I know this replyd he What said the Squire pretending
Anger am I to be doubted Do you believe I can have any View upon your
Daughter And if I had do you think I would take such Methods as these to
effect it Why Man you know not who you talk to O Sir said he I beg your
Pardon but consider my dear Child is in the Case Let me know what Bishop and
where and I will travel to London barefoot to see my Daughter and then shall
be satisfied
Why Goodman Andrews I think thou has read Romances as well as thy
Daughter and thy Heads turnd with them May I not have my word taken Do you
think once more I would offer any thing to your Daughter Is there any thing
looks like it Prythee Man consider a little who I am and if I am not to
be believd what signifies talking Why Sir said he pray forgive me but
there is no Harm to say What Bishops or whereabouts What and so youd go
troubling his Lordship with your impertinent Fears and Stories Will you be
satisfied if you have a Letter from her within a Week it may be less if she be
not negligent to assure you all is well with her Why that said the poor Man
will be a Comfort Well then said the Squire I cant answer for her
Negligence if she dont but she will send a Letter to you Mrs Jervis for I
desire not to see it I have had Trouble enough about her already and be sure
you send it by a Man and Horse the Moment you receive it To be sure I will
said she Thank your Honour said the good Man And then I must wait with as
much Patience as I can for a Week which will be a Year to me
I tell you said the Squire it must be her own Fault if she dont for
tis what I insisted upon for my own Reputation and I shant stir from this
House I assure you till she is heard from and that to Satisfaction God bless
your Honour said the poor Man as you say and mean Truth Amen Amen Goodman
Andrews said he you see I am not afraid to say Amen So Mrs Jervis make the
good Man as welcome as you can and let me have no Uproar about the Matter
He then whispering her bid her give him a couple of Guineas to bear his
Charges home telling him he should be welcome to stay there till the Letter
came if he would and he should be a Witness that he intended honourably and
not to stir from his House for one while
The poor old Man staid and dind with Mrs Jervis with some tolerable Ease
in hopes to hear from his beloved Daughter in a few Days and then accepting the
Present returnd for his own House and resolvd to be as patient as possible
for a few Days
Mean time Mrs Jervis and all the Family were in the utmost Grief for the
Trick put upon the poor Pamela and she and the Steward represented it to the
Squire in as moving Terms as they durst But were forced to rest satisfyd with
his general Assurances of intending her no Harm which however Mrs Jervis
little believd from the Pretence he had made in his Letter of the
Correspondence between Pamela and the young Parson which she knew to be all
Invention tho she durst not say any thing of it
But the Week after she went away they were made a little more easy by the
following Letter brought by an unknown Hand and left for Mrs Jervis which
how procurd will be shewn in the Sequel
»Dear Mrs Jervis
I Have been vilely trickd and instead of being driven by Robin to
my dear Fathers I am carryd off to where I have no Liberty to tell
However I am at present not used hardly in the main and I write to beg
of you to let my dear Father and Mother whose Hearts must be well nigh
broken know That I am well and that I am and by the Grace of God
ever will be their dutiful and honest Daughter as well as
Your obliged Friend
PAMELA ANDREWS
I must neither send Date nor Place But have most solemn Assurances of
honourable Usage This is the only Time my low Estate has been
troublesome to me since it has subjected me to the Frights I have
undergone Love to your good self and all my dear Fellowservants
Adieu Adieu But pray for poor PAMELA«
This tho it quieted not intirely their Apprehensions was shewn to the whole
Family and to the Squire himself who pretended to know not how it came and
Mrs Jervis sent it away to the good old Folks who at first suspected it was
forged and not their Daughters Hand but finding the contrary they were a
little easier to hear she was alive and well And having inquird of all their
Acquaintance what could be done and no one being able to put them in a way how
to proceed with Effect on so extraordinary an Occasion against so rich and
daring a Gentleman and being afraid to make Matters worse tho they saw
plainly enough that by this Letter she was in no Bishops Family and so
mistrusted all the rest of his Story they applyd themselves to Prayers for
their poor Daughter and for a happy Issue to an Affair that almost distracted
them
We shall now leave the honest old Pair praying for their dear Pamela and
return to the Account she herself gives of all this having written it
Journalwise to amuse and employ her Time in hopes some Opportunity might
offer to send it to her Friends and as was her constant View that she might
afterwards thankfully look back upon the Dangers she had escaped when they
should be happily overblown as in time she hoped they would be and that then
she might examine and either approve of or repent for her own Conduct in
them
Letter XXXII
O my dearest Father and Mother
Let me write and bewail my miserable hard Fate tho I have no Hope that
what I write will be conveyd to your Hands I have now nothing to do but
write and weep and fear and pray and yet What can I pray for when God
Almighty for my Sins to be sure vouchsafes not to hear my Prayers but
suffers me to be a Prey to a wicked Violator of all the Laws of God and Man
But gracious Heaven forgive me my Rashness O let me not sin against thee for
thou best knowest what is fittest for thy poor Handmaid And as thou sufferest
not thy poor Creatures to be tempted above what they can bear I will resign
thro thy Grace assisting me to thy good Pleasure But since these Temptations
are not of my own seeking the Effects of my Presumption and Vanity O enable me
to withstand them all and deliver me from the Dangers that hang over my poor
Head and make me perfect thro Sufferings and in thy own good Time deliver
me from them
Thus do I pray imperfectly as I am forced by my distracting Fears and
Apprehensions and O join with me my dear Parents But alas how can you
know how can I reveal to you the dreadful Situation of your poor Daughter The
unhappy Pamela may be undone which God forbid and sooner deprive me of Life
before you can know my hard Lot
O the unparalleld Wickedness and Stratagems and Devices of those who call
themselves Gentlemen and pervert the Design of Providence in giving them ample
Means to do good to their own Perdition and to the Ruin of poor oppressed
Innocence
But let me tell you what has befallen me and yet How shall you receive it For
I have now no honest John to carry my Letters to you but am likely to be
watchd in all my Steps till my hard Fate ripens his wicked Projects for my
Ruin I will every Day now write my sad State and some way perhaps may be
opend to send the melancholy Scribble to you But if you know it what will it
do but aggravate your Troubles For Oh what can the abject Poor do against the
mighty Rich when they are determind to oppress
Well but I will proceed to write what I had hoped to tell you in a few
Hours that I believed I should be blessed by you on my Return to you from so
many Hardships
I will begin here with my Account from the last Letter I wrote you in which
I inclosed my poor Stuff of Verses and continue it at times as I have
Opportunity tho as I said I know not how it can reach you now
The long hopdfor Thursday Morning came that I was to set out I had taken my
Leave of my Fellowservants overnight and a mournful Leave it was to us all
For Men as well as Womenservants wept much to part with me and for my Part
I was overwhelmd with Tears and the Instances of their Esteem They all would
have made me little Presents as Tokens of their Love but I would not take any
thing from the lower Servants to be sure But Mr Longman made me a present of
several Yards of Holland and a silver Snuffbox and a gold Ring which he
desird me to keep for his sake and he wept over me but said I am sure so
good a Maiden God will bless and tho you return to your poor Father again and
his low Estate yet Providence will find you out and one Day tho I maynt
live to see it you will be rewarded
I said O dear Mr Longman you make me too rich and too mody and yet I
must be a Beggar before my Time For I shall want often to be scribbling
little thinking it would be my only Employment so soon and I will beg you
Sir to favour me with some Paper and as soon as I get home I will write you a
Letter to thank you for all your Kindness to me and a Letter to good Mrs
Jervis too
This was lucky for I should have had none else but at pleasure of my
roughnaturd Governess as I may call her but now I can write to ease my Mind
tho I cant send it to you and write what I please for she knows not how well
I am provided For good Mr Longman gave me above forty Sheets of Paper and a
dozen Pens and a little Phial of Ink which last I wrapt in Paper and put in
my Pocket and some Wax and Wafers
O dear Sir said I you have set me up How shall I requite you He said By
a Kiss my fair Mistress and I gave it very willingly for he is a good old
Man
Rachel and Hannah cryd sadly when I took my Leave and Jane who sometimes
used to be a little crossish and Cicely too wept sadly and said they would
pray for me but poor Jane I doubt seldom says her Prayers for herself Mores
the pity
Then Arthur the Gardener our Robin the Coachman and Lincolnshire Robin
too who was to carry me were very civil and both had Tears in their Eyes
which I thought then very goodnaturd in Lincolnshire Robin because he knew
but little of me But since I find he might well be concernd for he had
then his Instructions it seems and knew how he was to be a Means to intrap me
Then our other three Footmen Harry Isaac and Benjamin and Grooms and
Helpers too were very much affected likewise and the poor little Scullionboy
Tommy was ready to run over for Grief
They had got all together overnight expecting to be differently imployd
in the Morning and they all beggd to shake Hands with me and I kissd the
Maidens and prayd to God to bless them all and thanked them for all their
Love and Kindnesses to me And indeed I was forced to leave them sooner than I
would because I could not stand it indeed I could not Harry I could not have
thought it for he is a little wildish they say cryd till he sobbd again
John poor honest John was not then come back from you But as for the Butler
Mr Jonathan he could not stay in Company
I thought to have told you a deal about this but I have worse things to
employ my Thoughts
Mrs Jervis good Mrs Jervis cryd all Night long and I comforted her all
I could and she made me promise that if my Master went to London to attend
Parliament or to Lincolnshire I would come and stay a Week with her And she
would have given me Money but I would not take it
Well next Morning came and I wonderd I saw nothing of poor honest John for I
waited to take Leave of him and thank him for all his Civilities to me and to
you But I suppose he was sent further by my Master and so could not return
and I desired to be rememberd to him
And when Mrs Jervis told me with a sad Heart the Chariot was ready with
four Horses to it I was just upon sinking into the Ground tho I wanted to be
with you
My Master was above Stairs and never asked to see me I was glad of it in
the main but he knew false Heart as he is that I was not to be out of his
Reach O preserve me Heaven from his Power and from his Wickedness
Well they were not sufferd to go with me one Step as I writ you before
for he stood at the Window to see me go And in the Passage to the Gate out of
his Sight there they stood all of them in two Rows and we could say nothing
on both sides but God bless you and God bless you But Harry carried my own
Bundle my third Bundle as I was used to call it to the Coach and some
Plumcakes and Dietbread made for me overnight and some Sweetmeats and
six Bottles of Canary Wine which Mrs Jervis would make me take in a Basket to
chear our Hearts nowandthen when we got together as she said And I kissd
all the Maids again and shook Hands with the Men again but Mr Jonathan and
Mr Longman were not there and tript down Steps to the Chariot Mrs Jervis
crying most sadly
I lookd up when I got to the Chariot and I saw my Master at the Window in
his Gown and I curcheed three times to him very low and prayd for him with
my Hands lifted up for I could not speak and he bowd his Head to me which
made me then very glad he would take such Notice of me and in I stept and was
ready to burst with Grief and could only till Robin begun to drive wave my
white Handkerchief to them wet with my Tears And at last away he drove
Jehulike as they say out of the Courtyard and I too soon found I had Cause
for greater and deeper Grief
Well says I to myself at this rate I shall soon be with my dear Father and
Mother and till I had got as I supposed half way I thought of the good
Friends I had left And when on stopping for a little Bait to the Horses Robin
told me I was near halfway I thought it was high time to wipe my Eyes and
think to whom I was going as then alack for me I thought So I began to
ponder what a Meeting I should have with you how glad youd both be to see me
come safe and innocent to you after all my Dangers and so I began to comfort
myself and to banish the other gloomy Side from my Mind tho too it returnd
nowandthen for I should be ingrateful not to love them for their Love
Well I believe I sat out about Eight oClock in the Morning and I
wonderd and wonderd when it was about Two as I saw by a Churchdyal in a
little Place we passd thro that I was still more and more out of my
Knowledge Heyday thinks I to drive this strange Pace and to be so long
agoing little more than twenty Miles is very odd But to be sure thought I
Robin knows the Way
At last he stopt and lookd about him as if he was at a Loss for the Way
and I said Mr Robert sure you are out of the Way Im afraid I am said he
But it cant be much Ill ask the first Person I see Pray do said I and he
gave his Horses a Mouthful of Hay and I gave him some Cake and two Glasses of
Canary Wine and he stopt about half an Hour in all Then he drove on very fast
again
I had so much to think of of the Dangers I now doubted not I had escaped
of the loving Friends I had left and my best Friends I was going to and the
many things I had to relate to you that I the less thought of the Way till I
was startled out of my Meditations by the Sun beginning to set and still the
Man driving on and his Horses sweating and foaming and then I begun to be
alarmd all at once and called to him and he said he had horrid ill Luck for
he had come several Miles out of the Way but was now right and should get in
still before it was quite dark My heart began then to misgive me a little and
I was very much fatigued for I had no Sleep for several Nights before to
signify and at last I said Pray Mr Robert there is a Town before us What
do you call it If we are so much out of the Way we had better put up there
for the Night comes on apace and Lord protect me thought I I shall have new
Dangers mayhap to encounter with the Man who have escaped the Master
Little thinking of the base Contrivance of the latter Says he I am just there
tis but a Mile on one side of the Town before us Nay said I I may be
mistaken for it is a good while since I was this way but I am sure the Face of
the Country here is nothing like what I remember it
He pretended to be much out of Humour with himself for mistaking the Way
and at last stopt at a Farmhouse about two Miles beyond the Village I had
seen and it was then almost dark and he alighted and said We must make shift
here for I am quite out
Lord thought I be good to the poor Pamela More Tryals still What will
befal me next
The Farmers Wife and Maid and Daughter came out and said What brings
you this way at this time of Night Mr Robert And with a Lady too Then I
began to be frightend out of my Wits and laying Middle and both Ends together
I fell acrying and said God give me Patience I am undone for certain
Pray Mistress said I do you know Esquire B of Bedfordshire
The wicked Coachman would have prevented the answering me but the simple
Daughter said Know his Worship yes surely why he is my Fathers Landlord
Well said I then I am undone undone for ever O wicked Wretch what have I
done to you said I to the Coachman to serve me thus Vile Tool of a wicked
Master Faith said the Fellow Im sorry this Task was put upon me But I could
not help it But make the best of it now Here are very civil reputable Folks
and youll be safe here Ill assure you Let me get out said I and Ill
walk back to the Town we came thro late as it is For I will not enter here
Said the Farmers Wife Youll be very well used here Ill assure you
young Gentlewoman and have better Conveniencies than any where in the Village
I matter not Conveniencies said I I am betrayd and undone As you have a
Daughter of your own pity me and let me know if your Landlord as you call
him be here No Ill assure you he is not said she
And then came the Farmer a goodlike sort of Man grave and wellbehavd
and he spoke to me in such sort as made me a little more pacifyd and seeing
no Help for it I went in and the Wife immediately carryd me up Stairs to the
best Apartment and told me that was mine as long as I staid and nobody should
come near me but when I called I threw myself on the Bed in the Room tird
and frightend to Death almost and gave way to the most excessive Fit of Grief
that I ever had
The Daughter came up and said Mr Robert had given her a Letter to give
me and there it was I raised myself and saw it was the Hand and Seal of the
wicked Wretch my Master directed To Mrs Pamela Andrews This was a little
better than to have him here tho if he had he must have been brought thro
the Air for I thought I was
The good Woman for I begun to see things about a little reputable and no
Guile appearing in them but rather a Face of Grief for my Grief offered me a
Glass of some cordial Water which I accepted for I was ready to sink and then
I sat up in a Chair a little tho very faintish And they brought me two
Candles and lighted a Brushwood Fire and said if I calld I should be waited
upon instantly and so left me to ruminate on my sad Condition and to read my
Letter which I was not able to do presently After I had a little come to
myself I found it to contain these Words
»Dear PAMELA
The Passion I have for you and your Obstinacy have constrained me
to act by you in a manner that I know will occasion you great Trouble
and Fatigue both of Mind and Body Yet forgive me my dear Girl for
tho I have taken this Step I will by all thats good and holy use
you honourably Suffer not your Fears to transport you to a Behaviour
that will be disreputable to us both For the Place where youll receive
this is a Farm that belongs to me and the People civil honest and
obliging
You will be by this time far on your way to the Place I have
allotted for your Abode for a few Weeks till I have managd some
Affairs that will make me shew myself to you in a much different Light
than you may possibly apprehend from this rash Action And to convince
you that I mean you no Harm I do assure you that the House you are
going to shall be so much at your Command that even I myself will not
approach it without Leave from you So make yourself easy be discreet
and prudent and a happier Turn shall reward these your Troubles than
you may at present apprehend
Mean time I pity the Fatigue you will have if this comes to your
hand in the Place I have directed And will write to your Father to
satisfy him that nothing but what is honourable shall be offerd to
you by
Your passionate Admirer so I
must style myself
Dont think hardly of poor Robin You have so possessd all my Servants in your
Favour that I find they had rather serve you than me and tis reluctantly the
Fellow undertook this Task and I was forced to submit to assure him of my
honourable Intentions to you which I am fully resolved to make good if you
compel me not to a Conduct abhorrent to me at present«
I but too well apprehended that this Letter was only to pacify me for the
present but as my Danger was not so immediate as I had reason to dread and he
had promised to forbear coming to me and to write to you my dear Parents to
quiet your Concern I was a little more easy than I was before And I made shift
to eat a little Bit of boild Chicken they had got for me and drank a Glass of
my Sack and made them do so too
But after I had so done I was again a little flusterd for in came the
Coachman with the Look of a Hangman I thought and Madamd me up strangely
telling me he would beg me to get ready to pursue my Journey by Five in the
Morning or else he should be late in I was quite grievd at this for I began
not to dislike my Company considering how Things stood and was in hopes to get
a Party among them and so to put myself into any worthy Protection in the
Neighbourhood rather than go forward
When he withdrew I began to tamper with the Farmer and his Wife But alas
they had had a Letter deliverd them at the same time I had so securely had
Lucifer put it into his Head to do his Work and they only shook their Heads
and seemd to pity me and so I was forced to give over that Hope
However the good Farmer shewd me his Letter which I copyd as follows
For it shews the deep Arts of this wicked Master and how resolvd he seemd on
my Ruin by the Pains he took to deprive me of all Hopes of freeing myself from
his Power
»Farmer Norton
I Send to your House for one Night only a young Gentlewoman much
against her Will who has deeply imbarkd in a Love Affair which will
be her Ruin as well as the Persons to whom she wants to betroth
herself I have to oblige her Father orderd her to be carryd to one
of my Houses where she will be well usd to try if by Absence and
Expostulation with both they can be brought to know their own Interest
And I am sure you will use her kindly for my sake For excepting this
Matter which she will not own she does not want Prudence and
Discretion I will acknowledge any Trouble you shall be at in this
Matter the first Opportunity and am
Your Friend and Servant«
He had said too cunningly for me that I would not own this pretended Love
Affair so that he had provided them not to believe me say what I would and as
they were his Tenants who all love him for he has some good Qualities and so
he had need I saw all my Plot cut out and so was forcd to say the less
I wept bitterly however for I saw he was too hard for me as well in his
Contrivances as Riches and so had Recourse again to my only Refuge that God
who takes the innocent Heart into his Almighty Protection and is alone able to
baffle and confound the Devices of the Mighty Nay the Farmer was so
prepossessd with the Contents of his Letter to him that he began to praise his
Care and Concern for me and to advise me against entertaining Addresses without
my Friends Advice and Consent and made me the Subject of a Lesson for his
Daughters Improvement So I was glad to shut up this Discourse for I saw I was
not likely to be believd
I sent however to tell my Driver that I was so fatigued I could not set
out so soon the next Morning But he insisted upon it and said it would make my
Days Journey the lighter and I found he was a more faithful Servant to his
Master notwithstanding what he wrote of his Reluctance than I could have
wishd So I saw still more and more that all was deep Dissimulation and
Contrivance worse and worse
Indeed I might have shewn them his Letter to me as a full Confutation of his
to them but I saw no Probability of engaging them in my Behalf and so thought
it signifyd little as I was to go away so soon to enter more particularly
into the Matter with them and besides I saw they were not inclinable to let me
stay longer for fear of disobliging him so I went to Bed but had very little
Rest and they would make their Servantmaid bear me Company in the Chariot five
Miles early in the Morning and she was to walk back
I had contrivd in my Thoughts when I was on my Way in the Chariot on Friday
Morning that when we came into some Town to bait as he must do for the Horses
sake that I would at the Inn apply myself if I saw I any way could to the
Mistress of the Inn and tell her the Case and refuse to go further having
nobody but this wicked Coachman to contend with
Well I was very full of this Project and was in great Hopes some how or
other to extricate myself this way But Oh the artful Wretch had provided for
even this last Resource of mine for when we came to put up at a large Town on
the Way to eat a Morsel for Dinner and I was fully resolvd to execute my
Project who should be at the Inn that he put up at but the wicked Mrs Jewkes
expecting me and her Sisterinlaw was the Mistress of it and she had provided
a little Entertainment for me
And this I found when I desird as soon as I came in to speak with the
Mistress of the House She came to me and I said I am a poor unhappy young
Body that wants your Advice and Assistance and you seem to be a good sort of
Gentlewoman that would assist an oppressed innocent Person Yes Madam said
she I hope you guess right and I have the Happiness to know something of the
Matter before you speak Pray call my Sister Jewkes Jewkes Jewkes thought
I I have heard of that Name I dont like it
Then the wicked Creature appeard whom I had never seen but once before
and I was terrifyd out of my Wits No Stratagem thought I not one for a poor
innocent Girl but every thing to turn out against me that is hard indeed
So I began to pull in my Horns as they say for I saw I was now worse off
than at the Farmers
The naughty Woman came up to me with an Air of Confidence and kissd me
See Sister said she heres a charming Creature would not she tempt the best
Lord in the Land to run away with her O frightful thought I heres an Avowal
of the Matter at once for she would not part with me out of her Sight I am
now gone thats certain And so was quite silent and confounded and seeing no
Help for it I was forcd to set out with her in the Chariot for she came
thither on Horseback with a Manservant who rode by us the rest of the Way
with her Horse and now I gave over all Thoughts of Redemption and was in a
desponding Condition indeed
Well thought I here are strange Pains taken to ruin a poor innocent
helpless and even worthless young Body This Plot is laid too deep and has
been too long a hatching to be baffled I fear But then I put my Trust in God
who I knew was able to do every thing for me when all other possible Means
should fail And in Him I was resolvd to confide
You may see Yet oh that kills me for I know not whether ever you may
see what I now write or no Else you may see what sort of Woman this Mrs
Jewkes is compard to good Mrs Jervis by this
Every nowandthen she would be staring in my Face in the Chariot and
squeezing my Hand and saying Why you are very pretty my silent Dear and
once she offerd to kiss me But I said I dont like this Sort of Carriage
Mrs Jewkes it is not like two Persons of one Sex
She fell a laughing very confidently and said Thats prettily said I vow
then thou hadst rather be kissd by the other Sex Ifackins I commend thee for
that I was sadly teazd with her Impertinence and bold Way but no wonder she
was an Innkeepers Housekeeper before she came to my Master and those Sort of
Creatures dont want Confidence you know And indeed she made nothing to talk
confidently on twenty Occasions and said two or three times when she saw the
Tears every nowandthen as we rid trickle down my Cheeks I was sorely hurt
truly to have the handsomest and finest young Gentleman in five Counties in
Love with me
So I find I am got into the Hands of a wicked Procuress and if I was not
safe with good Mrs Jervis and where every body lovd me what a dreadful
Prospect have I now before me in the Hands of a Woman that seems to delight in
Filthiness
O dear Sirs what shall I do What shall I do Surely I shall never be
equal to all these Things
About Eight at Night we enterd the Courtyard of this handsome large old
and lonely Mansion that looks made for Solitude and Mischief as I thought by
its Appearance with all its brown nodding Horrors of lofty Elms and Pines about
it And here said I to myself I fear is to be the Scene of my Ruin unless
God protect me who is allsufficient
I was very sick at entring it partly from Fatigue and partly from
Dejection of Spirits And Mrs Jewkes got me some mulld Wine and seemd mighty
officious to welcome me thither And while she was absent ordering the Wine
the wicked Robin came in to me and said I beg a thousand Pardons for my Part
in this Affair since I see your Grief and your Distress and I do assure you
that I am sorry it fell to my Task
Mighty well Mr Robert said I I never saw an Execution but once and then
the Hangman askd the poor Creatures Pardon and wipd his Mouth as you do
and pleaded his Duty and then calmly tuckd up the Criminal But I am no
Criminal as you all know And if I could have thought it my Duty to obey a
wicked Master in his unlawful Commands I had savd you all the Merit of this
vile Service
I am sorry said he you take it so But every body dont think alike Well
said I you have done your Part Mr Robert towards my Ruin very faithfully
and will have Cause to be sorry maybe at the Longrun when you shall see the
Mischief that comes of it Your Eyes were open and you knew I was to be
carryd to my Fathers and that I was barbarously trickd and betrayd and I
can only once more thank you for your Part of it God forgive you
So he went away a little sad What have you said to Robin Madam said Mrs
Jewkes who came in as he went out The poor Fellows ready to cry I need not
be afraid of your following his Example Mrs Jewkes said I I have been
telling him that he has done his Part to my Ruin And he now cant help it So
his Repentance does me no good I wish it may him
Ill assure you Madam said she I should be as ready to cry as he if I
should do you any Harm It is not in his Power to help it now said I but your
Part is to come and you may chuse whether youll contribute to my Ruin or not
Why look ye look ye Madam said she I have a great Notion of doing my Duty
to my Master and therefore you may depend upon it if I can do that and serve
you I will But you must think if your Desire and his Will come to clash once
I shall do as he bids me let it be what it will
Pray Mrs Jewkes said I dont Madam me so I am but a silly poor Girl
set up by the Gambol of Fortune for a Maygame and now am to be something and
now nothing just as that thinks fit to sport with me And let you and I talk
upon a Foot together for I am a Servant inferior to you and so much the more
as I am turnd out of Place
Ay ay says she I understand something of the Matter you have so great
Power over my Master that you may be soon Mistress of us all and so I would
oblige you if I could And I must and will call you Madam for I am instructed
to shew you all Respect Ill assure you
Who instructed you to do so said I Who my Master to be sure said she
Why said I how can that be you have not seen him lately No thats true
said she but I have been expecting you here some time O the deeplaid
Wickedness thought I and besides I have a Letter of Instructions by Robin
but maybe I should not have said so much If you would shew them to me said
I I should be able to judge how far I could or could not expect Favour from
you consistent with your Duty to our Master I beg your Pardon fair Mistress
for that said she I am sufficiently instructed and you may depend upon it I
will observe my Orders and so far as they will let me so far will I oblige
you and theres an End of it
Well said I you will not I hope do an unlawful or wicked Thing for any
Master in the World Lookye said she he is my Master and if he bids me do a
Thing that I can do I think I ought to do it and let him who has Power to
command me look to the Lawfulness of it Why said I suppose he should bid you
cut my Throat would you do it Theres no Danger of that said she but to be
sure I would not for then I should be hangd for that would be Murder Well
said I and suppose he should resolve to insnare a poor young Creature and ruin
her would you assist him in that For to rob a Person of her Virtue is worse
than cutting her Throat
Why now says she how strangely you talk Are not the two Sexes made for
one another? And is it not natural for a Gentleman to love a pretty Woman And
suppose he can obtain his Desires is that so bad as cutting her Throat And
then the Wretch fell a laughing and talkd most impertinently and shewd me
that I had nothing to expect from her Virtue or Conscience And this gave me
great Mortification for I was in hopes of working upon her by degrees
So we ended our Discourse here and I bid her shew me where I must lie
Why said she lie where you list Madam but I can tell you I must lie with
you for the present For the present said I and Torture then wrung my Heart
But is it in your Instructions that you must lie with me Yes indeed said she
I am sorry for it said I Why said she I am wholsome and cleanly too Ill
assure you Yes said I I dont doubt that but I love to lie by myself Why
said she Mrs Jervis was your Bedfellow at tother House
Well said I quite sick of her and my Condition you must do as you are
instructed I think I cant help myself and am a most miserable Creature She
repeated her insufferable Nonsense Mighty miserable indeed to be so well
belovd by one of the finest Gentlemen in England
I am now come down in my Writing to this present Saturday and a deal I have
written
My wicked Bedfellow has very punctual Orders it seems for she locks me and
herself in and ties the two Keys for there is a double Door to the Room about
her Wrist when she goes to Bed She talks of the House having been attempted to
be broke open two or three times whether to fright me I cant tell but it
makes me fearful but not so much as I should be if I had not other and greater
Fears
I slept but little the preceding Night and got up and pretended to sit by
the Window which looks into the spacious Gardens but I was writing all the
time from Break of Day to her getting up and after when she was absent
At Breakfast she presented the two Maids to me the Cook and Housemaid
poor awkward Souls that I can see no Hopes of they seem so devoted to her and
Ignorance Yet I am resolvd if possible to find some way to escape before
this wicked Master comes
There are besides of Servants the Coachman Robert a Groom a Helper a
Footman all but Robert and he is accessary to my Ruin strange Creatures that
promise nothing and all likewise devoted to this Woman The Gardener looks like
a good honest Man but he is kept at a Distance and seems reservd
I wonderd I saw not Mr Williams the Clergyman but would not ask after
him apprehending it might give her some Jealousy but when I had beheld the
rest he was the only one I had Hopes of for I thought his Cloth would set him
above assisting in my Ruin But in the Afternoon he came for it seems he has
a little Latin School in the neighbouring Village which he attends and this
brings him in a little Matter additional to my Masters Favour till something
better falls of which he has Hopes
He is a sensible sober young Gentleman and when I saw him I confirmd
myself in my Hopes of him for he seemd to take great Notice of my Distress and
Grief for I could not hide it tho he appeard fearful of Mrs Jewkes who
watchd all our Motions and Words
He has an Apartment in the House but is mostly at a Lodging in the Town
for Conveniency of his little School only on Saturday Afternoons and Sundays
and he preaches sometimes for the Parson of the Village which is about three
Miles off
I hope to go to Church with him tomorrow Sure it is not in her
Instructions to deny me He cant have thought of every thing And something may
strike out for me there
I have askd her for a Feint because she shant think I am so well
provided to indulge me with Pen and Ink tho I have been using my own so
freely when her Absence would let me for I beggd to be left to myself as much
as possible She says she will let me have it but then I must promise not to
send any Writing out of the House without her seeing it I said It was only to
divert my Grief when I was by myself as I desired to be for I lovd Writing
but I had nobody to send to she knew well enough
No not at present maybe said she but I am told you are a great Writer
and it is in my Instructions to see all you write so look you here said she
I will let you have a Pen and Ink and two Sheets of Paper for this Employment
will keep you out of worse Thoughts but I must see them always when I ask
written or not written Thats very hard said I but may I not have the Closet
in the Room where we lie to myself with the Key to lock up my Things I
believe I may consent to that said she and I will set it in Order for you and
leave the Key in the Door And there is a Spinnet too said she if it be in
Tune you may play to divert you nowandthen for I know my old Lady learnt
you
So I resolvd to hide a Pen of my own here and another there for fear I
should come to be denyd and a little of my Ink in a broken China Cup and a
little in another Cup and a Sheet of Paper hereandthere among my Linen with
a little Wax and a few Wafers in several Places lest I should be searchd and
something I thought might happen to open a Way for my Deliverance by these or
some other Means O the Pride thought I I shall have if I can secure my
Innocence and escape the artful Wiles of this wicked Master For if he comes
hither I am undone to be sure For this naughty Woman will assist him rather
than fail in the worst of his Attempts and hell have no Occasion to send her
out of the Way as he would have done Mrs Jervis once So I must set all my
little Wits at Work
It is a Grief to me to write and not to be able to send to you what I
write but now it is all the Diversion I have and if God will favour my Escape
with my Innocence as I trust he graciously will for all these black Prospects
with what Pleasure shall I read them afterwards
I was going to say Pray for your dutiful Daughter as I used but alas
you cannot know my Distress tho I am sure I have your Prayers And I will
write on as Things happen that if a Way should open my Scribble may be ready
to send For what I do must be at a Jirk to be sure
O how I want such an obliging honesthearted Man as John
I am now come to Sunday
Well here is a sad Thing I am denyd by this barbarous Woman to go to Church
as I had built upon I might And she has huffed poor Mr Williams all to pieces
for pleading for me I find he is to be forbid the House if she pleases Poor
Gentleman all his Dependence is upon my Master who has a very good Living for
him if the Incumbent die and he has kept his Bed these four Months of old Age
and Dropsy
He pays me great Respect and I see pities me and would perhaps assist my
Escape from these Dangers but I have nobody to plead for me and why should I
wish to ruin a poor Gentleman by engaging him against his Interest Yet one
would do any thing to preserve ones Innocence and God Almighty would maybe
make it up to him
O judge but how shall you see what I write my distracted Condition to be
reducd to such a Pass as to desire to lay Traps for Mankind But he wants
sadly to say something to me as he whisperingly hinted
The Wretch I think I will always call her the Wretch henceforth abuses me more
and more I was but talking to one of the Maids just now indeed a little to
tamper with her by degrees and she popt upon us and said Nay dont offer
Madam to tempt poor innocent Country Maidens from doing their Duty You wanted
I hear she should take a Walk with you But I charge you Nan never stir with
her nor obey her without letting me know it in the smallest Trifles I say
walk with you why where would you go I trow Why barbarous Mrs Jewkes said
I only to look a little up the Elmwalk as you would not let me go to Church
Nan said she to shew me how much they were all in her Power pull off
Madams Shoes and bring them to me I have taken care of her others Indeed
she shant said I Nay said Nan but I must if my Mistress bids me so pray
Madam dont hinder me And so indeed would you believe it She took my Shoes
off and left me barefoot And for my Share I have been so frightend at this
that I have not Power even to relieve my Mind by my Tears I am quite stupifyd
to be sure Here I was forcd to leave off
Now I will give you a Picture of this Wretch She is a broad squat pursy fat
Thing quite ugly if any thing God made can be ugly about forty Years old She
has a huge Hand and an Arm as thick as my Waist I believe Her Nose is flat
and crooked and her Brows grow over her Eyes a dead spiteful grey goggling
Eye to be sure she has And her Face is flat and broad and as to Colour
looks like as if it had been pickled a Month in Saltpetre I dare say she
drinks She has a hoarse manlike Voice and is as thick as shes long and
yet looks so deadly strong that I am afraid she would dash me at her Foot in an
Instant if I was to vex her So that with a Heart more ugly than her Face
she frightens me sadly and I am undone to be sure if God does not protect me
for she is very very wicked indeed she is
This is but poor helpless Spite in me But the Picture is too near the
Truth notwithstanding She sends me a Message just now that I shall have my
Shoes again if I will accept of her Company to walk with me in the Garden To
waddle with me rather thought I
Well tis not my Business to quarrel with her downright I shall be watchd
the narrower if I do and so I will go with the hated Wretch O for my dear
Mrs Jervis or rather to be safe with my dear Father and Mother
Oh Im out of my Wits for Joy Just as I have got my Shoes on I am told John
honest John is come on Horseback God bless him What Joy is this But Ill
tell you more byandby I must not let her know I am so glad to see this dear
blessed John to be sure O but he looks sad as I see him out of the Window
What can be the Matter I hope my dear Parents are well and Mrs Jervis and
Mr Longman and every body my naughty Master not excepted for I wish him to
live and repent of all his Wickedness to poor me
O dear Heart what a World do we live in I am now to take up my Pen again
But I am in a sad Taking truly Another puzzling Tryal to be sure
Here is John as I said and the poor Man came to me with Mrs Jewkes who
whisperd that I would say nothing about the Shoes for my own sake as she
said The poor Man saw my Distress and my red Eyes and my haggard Looks I
suppose for I had had a sad Time of it you must needs think and he would have
hid it but his Eyes run over Oh Mrs Pamela said he Oh Mrs Pamela Well
honest Fellowservant said I I cannot help it at present I am obligd to your
Honesty and Kindness to be sure and then he wept more Said I for my Heart
was ready to break to see his Grief for it is a touching thing to see a Man
cry Tell me the worst Is my Master coming No no said he and sobbd
Well said I is there any News of my poor Father and Mother how do they do
I hope well said he I know nothing to the contrary There is no Mishap I
hope to Mrs Jervis or Mr Longman or my Fellowservants No said he poor
Man with a long N o as if his Heart would burst Well thank God then said
I
The Mans a Fool said Mrs Jewkes I think what ado is here why sure
thourt in Love John Dost thou not see young Madam is well what ails thee
Man Nothing at all said he but I am such a Fool as to cry for Joy to see
good Mrs Pamela But I have a Letter for you
I took it and saw it was from my Master so I put it in my Pocket Mrs
Jewkes said I you need not I hope see this No no said she I see who it
comes from well enough or else maybe I must desire to see it
And here is one for you Mrs Jewkes said he but yours said he to me
requires an Answer which I must carry back early in the Morning or tonight
if I can
You have no more John said Mrs Jewkes for Mrs Pamela have you No
said he I have not But every bodys kind Love and Service Ay to us both to
be sure said she John said I I will read the Letter and pray take care of
yourself for you are a good Man God bless you and I rejoice to see you and
hear from you all But I longd to say more only that nasty Mrs Jewkes
So I came up hither and lockd myself in my Closet and opend the Letter
and this is a Copy of it
»My dearest Pamela
I Send purposely to you on an Affair that concerns you very much
and me something but chiefly for your sake I am conscious that I have
proceeded by you in such a manner as may justly alarm your Fears and
give Concern to your honest Friends And all my Pleasure is that I can
and will make you Amends for all the Disturbance I have given you As I
promisd I sent to your Father the Day after your Departure that he
might not be too much concernd for you and assured him of my Honour to
you and made an Excuse such a one as ought to have satisfyd him for
your not coming to him But this was not sufficient it seems for he
poor Man came to me next Morning and set my Family almost in an Uproar
about you
O my dear Girl what Trouble has not your Obstinacy given me and
yourself too I had no way to pacify him but to promise that he should
see a Letter wrote from you to Mrs Jervis to satisfy him you were
well
Now all my Care in this Case is for your aged Parents lest they
should be fatally touched with Grief and for you whose Duty and
Affection for them I know to be so strong and laudable For this Reason
I beg you will write a few Lines to them and let me prescribe the Form
for it which I have done putting myself as near as I can in your
Place and expressing your Sense with a Warmth that I doubt will have
too much possessd you
After what is done and which cannot now be helpd but which I
assure you shall turn out honourably for you I expect not to be
refusd because I cannot possibly have any View in it but to satisfy
your Parents which is more your Concern than mine and so I must beg
you will not alter one Tittle of the underneath If you do it will be
impossible for me to send it or that it should answer the good End I
propose by it
I have promisd to you that I will not approach you without your
Leave If I find you easy and not attempting to dispute or avoid your
present Lot I will keep to my Word tho tis a Difficulty upon me Nor
shall the present Restraint upon you last long For I will assure you
that I am resolvd very soon to convince you how ardently I am
Yours etc«
The Letter he prescribed for me was this
»Dear Mrs Jervis
I Have instead of being driven by Robin to my dear Fathers been
carryd off to where I have no Liberty to tell However at present I
am not usd hardly and I write to beg you to let my dear Father and
Mother whose Hearts must be wellnigh broken know that I am well and
that I am and by the Grace of God ever will be their dutiful and
honest Daughter as well as
Your obliged Friend
I must neither send Date nor Place but have most solemn Assurances of
honourable Usage«
I knew not what to do on this most strange Request and Occasion But my Heart
bled so much for you my dear Father who had taken the Pains to go yourself and
inquire after your poor Daughter as well as for my dear Mother that I resolvd
to write and pretty much in the above1 Form that it might be sent to pacify
you till I could let you some how or other know the true State of the Matter
And I wrote this to this strange wicked Master himself
»Sir
If you knew but the Anguish of my Mind and how much I suffer by
your dreadfully strange Usage of me you would surely pity me and
consent to my Deliverance What have I done that I should be the only
Mark of your Cruelty I can possibly have no Hope no Desire of living
left me because I cannot have the least Dependence after what has
passd upon your solemn Assurances It is impossible surely they
should be consistent with the honourable Designs you profess
Nothing but your Promise of not seeing me here in my deplorable
Bondage can give me the least Ray of Hope
Dont drive the poor distressed Pamela upon a Rock I beseech you
that may be the Destruction both of her Body and Soul You dont know
Sir how dreadfully I dare weak as I am of Mind and Intellect when my
Virtue is in Danger And oh hasten my Deliverance that a poor
unworthy Creature below the Notice of so great a Man may not be made
the Sport of a high Condition for no Reason in the World but because
she is not able to defend herself nor has a Friend that can right her
I have Sir in part to shew my Obedience to you but indeed I own
more to give Ease to the Minds of my poor distressed Parents whose
Poverty one would think should screen them from Violences of this
sort as well as their poor Daughter followd pretty much the Form you
have prescribd for me to Mrs Jervis and the Alterations I have made
for I could not help a few are of such a Nature as tho they shew my
Concern a little yet must answer the End you are pleasd to say you
propose by this Letter
For Gods sake good Sir pity my lowly Condition and my present
great Misery and let me join with all the rest of your Servants to
bless that Goodness which you have extended to every one but the poor
afflicted heartbroken
PAMELA«
I thought when I had written this Letter and that which he had prescribd it
would look like placing a Confidence in Mrs Jewkes to shew them to her and I
shewd her at the same time my Masters Letter to me for I believd the Value
he expressd for me would give me Credit with one who professd in every thing
to serve him right or wrong tho I had so little Reason I fear to pride
myself in it And I was not mistaken for it has seemd to influence her not a
little and she is at present mighty obliging and runs over in my Praises but
is the less to be minded because she praises as much the Author of all my
Miseries and his honourable Intentions as she calls them when I see that she
is capable of thinking as I fear he does that every thing that makes for his
wicked Will is honourable tho to the Ruin of the Innocent Pray God I may
find it otherwise I hope whatever the naughty Gentleman may intend that I
shall be at least rid of her impertinent bold Way of Talk when she seems to
think by his Letter that he means honourably
I am now come to Monday the 5th Day of my Bondage and Misery
I Was in Hope to have an Opportunity to see John and have a little private Talk
with him before he went away but it could not be The poor Mans excessive
Sorrow made Mrs Jewkes take it into her Head to think he lovd me and so she
brought up a Message to me from him this Morning that he was going I desird
he might come up to my Closet as I calld it and she came with him And the
honest Man as I thought him was as full of Concern as before at taking Leave
And I gave him my two Letters the one for Mrs Jervis inclosd in that for my
Master But Mrs Jewkes would see me seal them up for fear of any other I was
surprizd at the Mans going away to see him drop a Bit of Paper just at the
Head of the Stairs which I took up without Mrs Jewkess seeing me but I was a
thousand times more surprizd when I returnd to my Closet and opening it
read as follows
»Good Mrs Pamela
I Am grievd to tell you how much you have been deceivd and
betrayd and that by such a vile Dog as I Little did I think it would
come to this But I must say if ever there was a Rogue in the World it
is me I have all along shewd your Letters to my Master He employd me
for that Purpose and he saw every one before your Father and Mother
and then seald them up and sent me with them I had some Business that
way but not half so often as I pretended And as soon as I heard how it
was with you I was ready to hang myself You may well think I could not
stand in your Presence O vile vile Wretch to bring you to this If
you are ruind I am the Rogue that causd it All the Justice I can do
you is to tell you you are in vile Hands and I am afraid will be
undone in spite of all your sweet Innocence and I believe I shall never
live after I know it If you can forgive me you are exceeding good but
I shall never forgive myself thats certain Howsomever it will do you
no good to make this known and mayhap I may live to do you Service If
I can I will I am sure I ought Master kept your last two or three
Letters and did not send them at all I am the most abandond Wretch of
Wretches
J ARNOLD
You see your Undoing has been long hatching Pray take care of your
sweet Self Mrs Jewkes is a Devil But in my Masters tother House you
have not one false Heart but myself Out upon me for a Villain«
My dear Father and Mother when you come to this Place I make no doubt your
Hair will stand an End as mine does O the Deceitfulness of the Heart of Man
This John that I took to be the honestest of Men that you took for the same
that was always praising you to me and me to you and for nothing so much as
for our honest Hearts this very Fellow was all the while a vile Hypocrite and
a perfidious Wretch and helping to carry on my Ruin
But he says enough of himself and I can only sit down with this sad
Reflection That Power and Riches never want Tools to promote their vilest Ends
and that there is nothing so hard to be known as the Heart of Man Yet I can
but pity the poor Wretch since he seems to have some Remorse and I believe it
best to keep his Wickedness secret and if it lies in my way to encourage his
Penitence for I may possibly make some Discoveries by it
One thing I should mention in this Place he brought down in a Portmanteau
all the Cloaths and Things my Lady and Master had presented me and moreover two
Velvet Hoods and a Velvet Scarf that used to be worn by my Lady but I have no
Comfort in them
Mrs Jewkes had the Portmanteau brought into my Closet and she shewd me
what was in it but then locked it up and said she would let me have what I
would out of it when I asked but if I had the Key it might set me a wanting
to go abroad maybe and so the insolent Woman put it in her Pocket
I gave myself over to sad Reflections upon this strange and surprizing
Discovery of Johns and wept much for him and for myself too for now I see
as he says my Ruin has been so long a hatching that I can make no Doubt what
my Masters honourable Professions will end in What a Heap of Names does the
poor Fellow call himself But what must they deserve who set him to work O
what has this wicked Master to answer for to be so corrupt himself and to
corrupt others who would have been innocent and all to carry on further a more
corrupt Scene and to ruin a poor Creature who never did him Harm nor wishd
him any and who can still pray for his Happiness and his Repentance
I can but wonder what these Gentlemen as they are called can think of
themselves for these vile Doings John had some Inducement for he hoped to
please his Master who rewarded him and was bountiful to him and the same may
be said bad as she is for this same odious Mrs Jewkes But what Inducement
has my Master for taking so much Pains to do the Devils Work If he loves me
as tis falsely called must he therefore ruin me and lay Traps for me and
endeavour to make me as bad as himself I cannot imagine what good the Undoing
of such a poor Creature as I can procure him To be sure I am a very
worthless Body People indeed say I am handsome but if I was so should not a
Gentleman prefer an honest Servant to a guilty Harlot And must he be more
earnest to seduce me because I dread of all things to be seduced and would
rather lose my Life than my Honesty
Well these are strange things to me I cannot account for them for my
Share but sure nobody will say that these fine Gentlemen have any Temper but
their own wicked Wills This naughty Master could run away from me when he
thought none but his Servants should know his base Attempts in that sad Closet
Affair but is it not strange that he should not be afraid of the Allseeing
Eye from which even that black poisonous Heart of his and its most secret
Motions could not be hid But what avail me these sorrowful Reflections He
is and will be wicked and I am I fear to be a Victim to his lawless Attempts
if the God in whom I trust and to whom I hourly pray prevent it not
Tuesday and Wednesday
I Have been hinderd by this wicked Womans watching me too close from writing
on Tuesday and so I will put both these Days together I have been a little
Turn with her for an Airing in the Chariot and walked several times in the
Garden but have always her at my Heels
Mr Williams came to see us and took a Walk with us once and while her
Back was just turnd encouragd by the Hint he had before given me I said
Sir I see two Tiles upon that Parsleybed cannot one cover them with Mould
with a Note between them on Occasion A good Hint said he let that
Sunflower by the Backdoor of the Garden be the Place I have a Key to that
for it is my nearest way to the Town
So I was forced to begin O what Inventions will Necessity be the Parent of
I huggd myself with the Thought and she coming to us he said as if he was
continuing the Discourse we were in No not extraordinary pleasant Whats
that whats that said Mrs Jewkes Only said he the Town Im saying is
not very pleasant No indeed said she tis not tis a poor Town to my
thinking Are there any Gentry in it said I And so we chatted on about the
Town to deceive her But my Deceit intended no Hurt to any body
We then talked of the Garden how large and pleasant and the like and sat
down on the turfted Slope of the fine Fishpond to see the Fishes play upon the
Surface of the Water and she said I should angle if I would
I wish said I youd be so kind to fetch me a Rod and Baits Pretty
Mistress said she I know better than that Ill assure you at this time I
mean no Harm said I indeed Let me tell you said she I know nobody has their
Thoughts more about them than you A body ought to look to it where you are
But well angle a little tomorrow Mr Williams who is much afraid of her
turnd the Discourse to a general Subject I saunterd in and left them to talk
by themselves but he went away to Town and she was soon after me
I had got to my Pen and Ink and I said I want some Paper putting what I
was about in my Bosom You know I have wrote two Letters and sent them by John
O how his Name poor guilty Fellow grieves me Well said she you have some
left one Sheet did for those two Letters Yes said I but I used half another
for a Wrapper you know and see how I scribbled the other Half and so I shewd
her a Parcel of broken Scraps of Verses which I had tryd to recollect and
which I had wrote purposely that she might see and think me usually employd to
such idle Purposes Ay said she so you have well Ill give you two Sheets
more but let me see how you dispose of them either written or blank Well
thinks I I hope still Argus to be too hard for thee Now Argus the Poets
say had an hundred Eyes and was made to watch with them all as she is
She brought me the Paper and said Now Madam let me see you write
something I will said I and took the Pen and wrote »I wish Mrs Jewkes
would be as good to me as I would be to her if I had it in my Power« Thats
pretty now said she well I hope I am but what then »Why then wrote I she
would do me the Favour to let me know what I have done to be made her Prisoner
and what she thinks is to become of me« Well and what then said she »Why
then of Consequence scribbled I she would let me see her Instructions that
I may know how far to blame her or acquit her«
Thus I fooled on to shew her my Fondness for scribbling for I had no
Expectation of any Good from her that so she might suppose I employd myself
as I said to no better Purpose at other times For she will have it that I am
upon some Plot I am so silent and love so much to be by myself She would
have had me go on a little further No said I you have not answerd me Why
said she what can you doubt when my Master himself assures you of his Honour
Ay says I but lay your Hand to your Heart Mrs Jewkes and tell me if you
yourself believe him Yes said she to be sure I do But said I what do you
call Honour Why said she what does he call Honour think you Ruin
Shame Disgrace said I I fear Pho pho said she if you have any Doubt
about it he can best explain his own Meaning Ill send him word to come to
satisfy you if you will Horrid Creature said I all in a Fright Canst
thou not stab me to the Heart Id rather thou wouldst than say such another
Word But I hope there is no Thought of his coming
She had the Wickedness to say No no he dont intend to come as I know of
But if I was he I would not be long away What means the Woman said I
Means said she turning it off why I mean I would come if I was he and put
an End to all your Fears by making you as happy as you wish Tis out of his
Power said I to make me happy great and rich as he is but by leaving me
innocent and giving me Liberty to go to my dear Father and Mother
She went away soon after and I ended my Letter in Hopes to have an
Opportunity to lay it in the appointed Place So I went to her and said I
suppose as it is not dark I may take another Turn in the Garden Tis too
late said she but if you will go dont stay and Nan see and attend Madam
as she called me
So I went towards the Pond the Wench following me and dropt purposely my
Hussy And when I came near the Tiles I said Mrs Ann I have dropt my Hussy
be so kind to look for it I had it by the Pondside The Wench went to look
and I slipt the Note between the Tiles and coverd them as quick as I could
with the light Mould quite unperceivd and the Maid finding the Hussy I took
it and saunterd in again and met Mrs Jewkes coming to see after me What I
wrote was this
»Reverend Sir
The want of Opportunity to speak my Mind to you I am sure will
excuse this Boldness in a poor Creature that is betrayd hither I have
Reason to think for the worst Purposes You know something to be sure
of my Story my native Poverty which I am not ashamed of my late
Ladys Goodness and my Masters Designs upon me Tis true he promises
Honour and all that but the Honour of the Wicked is Disgrace and Shame
to the Virtuous And he may think he may keep his Promises according to
the Notions he may allow himself to hold and yet according to mine
and every good Bodys beside quite ruin me
I am so wretched and ill treated by this Mrs Jewkes and she is so
illprincipled a Woman that as I may soon want the Opportunity which
the happy Hint of this Day affords to my Hopes so I throw myself at
once upon your Goodness without the least Reserve for I cannot be
worse than I am should that fail me which I dare say to your Power
it will not For I see it Sir in your Looks I hope it from your
Cloth and I doubt it not from your Inclination in a Case circumstanced
as my unhappy one is For Sir in helping me out of my present
Distress you perform all the Acts of Religion in one and the highest
Mercy and Charity both to a Body and a Soul of a poor Wretch that
believe me Sir has at present not so much as in Thought swervd
from her Innocence
Is there not some way to be found out for my Escape without Danger
to yourself Is there no Gentleman or Lady of Virtue in this
Neighbourhood to whom I may fly only till I can find a way to get to
my poor Father and Mother Cannot Lady Davers be made acquainted with my
sad Story by your conveying a Letter to her My poor Parents are so low
in the World they can do nothing but break their Hearts for me and
that I fear will be the End of it
My Master promises if I will be easy as he calls it in my present
Lot he will not come down without my Consent Alas Sir this is
nothing For whats the Promise of a Person who thinks himself at
Liberty to act as he has done by me If he comes it must be to ruin me
and come to be sure he will when he thinks he has silencd the
Clamours of my Friends and lulled me as no doubt he hopes into a
fatal Security
Now therefore Sir is all the Time I have to work and struggle for
the Preservation of my Honesty If I stay till he comes I am undone
You have a Key to the back Gardendoor I have great Hopes from that
Study good Sir and contrive for me I will faithfully keep your
Secret Yet I should be loth to have you injurd for me
I say no more but commit this to the happy Tiles and to the Bosom
of that Earth from which I hope my Deliverance will take Root and bring
forth such Fruit as may turn to my inexpressible Joy and your eternal
Reward both here and hereafter As shall ever pray
Your most oppressed humble Servant«
Thursday
This completes a fatal Week since my setting out as I hoped to see you my
dear Father and Mother O how different my Hopes then from what they are now
Yet who knows what these happy Tiles may produce
But I must tell you first how I have been beaten by Mrs Jewkes Tis very
true
My Impatience was great to walk in the Garden to see if any thing had
offerd answerable to my Hopes But this wicked Mrs Jewkes would not let me go
without her and she said she was not at Leisure We had a great many Words
about it for I said it was very hard I could not be trusted to walk by myself
in the Garden for a little Air but must be doggd and watchd worse than a
Thief
She still pleaded her Instructions and said she was not to trust me out of
her Sight And you had better said she be easy and contented I assure you
For I have worse Orders than you have yet found and if you remember said she
what you said when Mr Williams was with us asking if there were any Gentry in
the Neighbourhood it makes me suspect you want to get away to them to tell
your sad dismal Story as you call it
My Heart was at my Mouth for I feard by that Hint she had seen my Letter
under the Tiles O how uneasy I was At last she said Well since you take on
so you may take a Turn and I will be with you in a Minute
I went out and when I was out of the Sight of her Window I speeded towards
the hopeful Place but was soon forced to slacken my Pace by her odious Voice
Heyday why so nimble and so fast said she What are you upon a Wager I
stopt for her till her pursy Sides were waddled up to me and she held by my
Arm half out of Breath So I was forced to pass by the dear Place without
daring to look at it
The Gardener was at work a little further and so we looked upon him and I
began to talk about his Art but she said softly My Instructions are not to
let you be so familiar with the Servants Why said I are you afraid I should
confederate with them to commit a Robbery upon my Master Maybe I am said the
odious Wretch for to rob him of yourself would be the worst that could happen
to him in his Opinion
And pray said I walking on how came I to be his Property What Right has
he in me but such as a Thief may plead to stolen Goods Why was ever the
like heard says she This is downright Rebellion I protest Well well
Lambkin which the Foolish often calls me if I was in his Place he should not
have his Property in you long questionable Why what would you do said I if
you was he Not stand shillI shallI as he does but put you and himself
both out of your Pain Why Jezebel said I I could not help it would you
ruin me by Force Upon this she gave me a deadly Slap upon my Shoulder Take
that said she who do you call Jezebel
I was so scard for you never beat me my dear Father and Mother in your
Lives that I was as one thunderstruck and looked round as if I wanted
somebody to help me but alas I had nobody and said at last rubbing my
Shoulder Is this too in your Instructions Alas for me am I to be beaten
too and so I fell a crying and threw myself upon the Grasswalk we were upon
Said she in a great Pet I wont be calld such Names Ill assure you Marry
come up I see you have a Spirit You must and shall be kept under Ill manage
such little provoking Things as you I warrant ye Come come well go in
Doors and Ill lock you up and you shall have no Shoes nor any thing else if
this is to be the Case
I didnt know what to do This was a cruel thing to me and I blamd myself
for my free Speech for now I had given her some Pretence and Oh thinks I
here I have by my Malapertness ruind the only Project I had left
The Gardener saw this Scene but she called to him Well Jacob what do you
stare at Pray mind what youre upon And away he walkd to another Quarter
out of Sight
Well thinks I I must put on the Dissembler a little I see She took my
Hand roughly Come get up said she and come in Doors Ill Jezebel you I
warrant ye Why dear Mrs Jewkes said I None of your Dears and your
Coaxing said she why not Jezebel again She was in a fearful Passion I saw
and I was half out of my Wits Thinks I I have often heard Women blamd for
their Tongues I wish mine had been shorter But I cant go in said I indeed I
cant Why said she cant you Ill warrant I can take such a thin Body as
you are under my Arm and carry you in if you wont walk You dont know my
Strength Yes but I do said I too well and will you not use me worse when I
come in So I arose and she mutterd to herself all the way She to be a
Jezebel with me that had used me so well and suchlike
When I came near the House I said sitting down upon a Settlebench Well
I will not go in till you say you will forgive me Mrs Jewkes If you will
forgive my calling you that Name I will forgive your beating me She sat down
by me and seemd in a great Pucker and said Well come I will forgive you
for this time and so kissed me as a Mark of Reconciliation But pray said I
tell me where I am to walk and go and give me what Liberty you can and when I
know the most you can favour me with you shall see I will be as content as I
can and not ask you for more
Why said she thats something like I wish I could give you all the
Liberty you desire for you must think it is no Pleasure to me to tie you to my
Petticoat as it were and not to let you stir without me But People that will
do their Duties must have some Trouble and what I do is to serve as good a
Master to be sure as lives Ay says I to every body but me He loves you
too well to be sure said she and thats the Reason so you ought to bear it
I say love said I Come said she dont let the Wench see you have been
crying nor tell her any Tales for you wont tell them fairly I am sure and
Ill send her and you shall take another Walk in the Garden if you will
Maybe said she it will get you a Stomach to your Dinner for you dont eat
enough to keep Life and Soul together You are Beauty to the Bone said the
strange Wretch or you could not look so well as you do with so little Stomach
so little Rest and so much pining and whining for nothing at all Well thought
I say what thou wilt so I can be rid of thy bad Tongue and Company And I
hopd to find some Opportunity now to come at my Sunflower But I walked the
other way to take that in my Return to avoid Suspicion
I forced my Discourse to the Wench but it was all upon general things for
I find she is asked after every thing I say and do When I came near the Place
as I had been devising I said Pray step to the Gardener and ask him to
gather a Sallad for me to Dinner She called out Jacob Said I he cant hear
you so far off and pray tell him I should like a Cucumber too if he has one
When she had stept about a Bowshot from me I popt down and whipt my Fingers
under the upper Tile and pulled out a little Letter without Direction and
thrust it in my Bosom trembling for Joy She was with me before I could well
secure it and I was in such a taking that I feared I should discover myself
You seem frighted Madam said she Why said I with a lucky Thought alas
your poor Daughter will make an Intriguer byandby but I hope an innocent
one I stoopt to smell at the Sunflower and a great nasty Worm run into the
Ground that startled me for I dont love Worms Said she Sunflowers dont
smell So I find said I And so we walked in and Mrs Jewkes said Well you
have made haste in You shall go another time
I went up to my Closet lockd myself in and opening my Letter found in it
these Words
»I Am infinitely concernd for your Distress I most heartily wish it
may be in my Power to serve and save so much Innocence Beauty and
Merit My whole Dependence is upon the Squire and I have a near View
of being provided for by his Goodness to me But yet I would sooner
forfeit all my Hopes upon him and trust in God for the rest than not
assist you if possible I never lookd upon Mr B in the Light he now
appears to me in in your Case To be sure he is no professd Deboshee
But I am intirely of Opinion you should if possible get out of his
Hands and especially as you are in very bad ones in Mrs Jewkess
We have here the Widow Lady Jones Mistress of a good Fortune and a
Woman of Virtue I believe We have also old Sir Simon Darnford and his
Lady who is a good Woman and they have two Daughters All the rest are
but middling People and Traders at best I will try if you please
either Lady Jones or Lady Darnford if they will permit you to take
Refuge with them I see no Probability of keeping myself conceald in
this Matter but will as I said risque all things to serve you for I
never saw a Sweetness and Innocence like yours and your hard Case has
attached me intirely to you for I know as you so happily express if I
can serve you in this Case I shall thereby perform all the Acts of
Religion in one
As to Lady Davers I will convey a Letter if you please to her
but it must not be from our Posthouse I give you Caution for the Man
owes all his Bread to the Squire and his Place too and I believe by
something that dropt from him over a Can of Ale has his Instructions
You dont know how you are surrounded all which confirms me in your
Opinion that no Honour is meant you let what will be professed and I
am glad you want no Caution on that Head
Give me Leave to say that I had heard much in your Praise both as
to Person and Mind but I think greatly short of what you deserve My
Eyes convince me of the one your Letter of the other For fear of
losing the present lucky Opportunity I am longer than otherwise I
should be But I will not inlarge only to assure you that I am to the
best of my Power
Your faithful Friend and Servant
ARTHUR WILLIAMS
I will come once every Morning and once every Evening after
Schooltime to look for your Letters Ill come in and return without
going into the House if I see the Coast clear Otherwise to avoid
Suspicion Ill come in«
I instantly to this pleasing Letter wrote as follows
»Reverend Sir
O How answerable to your Function and your Character is your kind
Letter God bless you for it I now think I am beginning to be happy I
should be sorry you should suffer on my Account but I hope it will be
made up to you an hundredfold by that God whom you so faithfully
serve I should be too happy could I ever have it in my Power to
contribute in the least to it But alas to serve me must be for Gods
sake only for I am poor and lowly in Fortune though in Mind I hope
too high to do a mean or unworthy Deed to gain a Kingdom But I lose
Time
Any way you think best I shall be pleased with for I know not the
Persons nor in what manner it is best to apply to them I am glad of
the Hint you so kindly give me of the Man at the Posthouse I was
thinking of opening a way for myself by Letter when I could have
Opportunity but I see more and more that I am indeed strangely
surrounded with Dangers and that there is no Dependence to be made on
my Masters Honour
I should think Sir if either of those Ladies would give Leave I
might some way get out by Favour of your Key and as it is impossible
watched as I am to know when it can be suppose Sir you could get one
made by it and put it by the next Opportunity under the Sun flower
I am sure no Time is to be lost because it is rather my Wonder that
she is not thoughtful about this Key than otherwise for she forgets
not the minutest thing But Sir if I had this Key I could if these
Ladies would not shelter me run away anywhere And if I was once out
of the House they could have no Pretence to force me in again for I
have done no Harm and hope to make my Story good to any compassionate
Body and by this way you need not be known Torture should not wring it
from me I assure you
One thing more good Sir Have you no Correspondence with my
Masters Family By that means maybe I could be informed of his
Intentions of coming hither and when I inclose you a Letter of a
deceitful Wretch for I can trust you with any thing, poor John Arnold
Its Contents will tell why I inclose it Perhaps by his means something
may be discoverd for he seems willing to atone for his Treachery to
me by the Intimation of future Service I leave the Hint for you to
improve upon and am Reverend Sir
Your for ever obliged
and thankful Servant
I hope Sir by your Favour I could send a little Packet nowandthen
some how to my poor Father and Mother I have a little Stock of Money
about five or six Guineas Shall I put half in your Hands to defray a
Man and Horse or any other Incidents«
I had time but just to transcribe this before I was called to Dinner and I put
that for Mr Williams with a Wafer in it in my Bosom to get an Opportunity to
lay it in the dear Place O good Sirs Of all the Flowers in the Garden the
Sunflower sure is the loveliest It is a propitious one to me How nobly my
Plot succeeds But I begin to be afraid my Writings may be discoverd for they
grow large I stitch them hitherto in my Undercoat next my Linen But if this
Brute should search me I must try to please her and then she wont
Well I am but just come off from a Walk in the Garden and have deposited my
Letter by a simple Wile I got some Horsebeans and we took a Turn in the
Garden to angle as Mrs Jewkes had promisd me She baited the Hook and I
held it and soon hooked a lovely Carp Play it play it said she I did and
brought it to the Bank A sad Thought just then came into my Head and I took
it and threw it in again and O the Pleasure it seemd to have to flounce in
when at Liberty Why this says she O Mrs Jewkes said I I was thinking
this poor Carp was the unhappy Pamela I was likening you and myself to my
naughty Master As we hooked and deceived the poor Carp so was I betrayed by
false Baits and when you said Play it play it it went to my Heart to think
I should sport with the Destruction of the poor Fish I had betrayd and I could
not but fling it in again And did you not see the Joy with which the happy Carp
flounced from us O said I may some good merciful Body procure me my Liberty
in the same manner for to be sure I think my Danger equal
Lord bless thee said she what a Thought is there Well said I I can
angle no more Ill try my Fortune said she and took the Rod Well said I I
will plant Life then if I can while you are destroying it I have some
Horsebeans here and Ill go and stick them into one of the Borders to see how
long they will be coming up and I will call them my Garden
So you see dear Father and Mother I hope now you will soon see for
maybe if I cant get away so soon myself I may send my Papers some how I
say you will see that this furnishes me a good Excuse to look after my Garden
another time and if the Mould should look a little freshish it wont be so
much suspected She mistrusted nothing of this and I went and stuck in here and
there my Beans for about the Length of five Ells of each side of the
Sunflower and easily reposited my Letter And not a little proud am I of this
Contrivance Sure something will do at last God grant it
Friday Saturday
I Have just now told you a Trick of mine now Ill tell you a Trick of this
wicked Womans She comes up to me says she I have a Bill I cannot change till
tomorrow and a Tradesman wants his Money most sadly and I dont love to turn
poor Tradesfolks away without their Money Have you any about you How much will
do said I I have a little Oh said she I want eight Pounds Alack said I I
have but between five and six Lend me that said she till tomorrow I did so
and she went down Stairs And when she came up she laughd and said Well I
have paid the Tradesman Said I I hope youll give it me again tomorrow At
that the Assurance laughing loud said Why what Occasion have you for Money
To tell you the Truth Lambkin I didnt want it I only feard you might make a
bad Use of it and now I can trust Nan with you a little oftener especially as
I have got the Key of your Portmanteau so that you can neither corrupt her with
Money or fine things Never did any body look more silly than I O how I
fretted to be so foolishly outwitted And the more as I had hinted to Mr
Williams to have some to defray the Charges of my sending to you I cryd for
Vexation And now I have not five Shillings left to support me if I can get
away Was ever such a Fool as I I must be priding myself in my Contrivances
indeed Said I was this in your Instructions Wolfkin for she called me
Lambkin Jezebel you mean Child said she Well I now forgive you heartily
lets buss and be Friends Out upon you said I I cannot bear you But I
durst not call her Names again for I dread her huge Paw most sadly The more I
think of this thing the more do I regret it
This Night the Man from the Posthouse brought a Letter for Mrs Jewkes in
which was one inclosed to me She brought it me up Said she Well my good
Master dont forget us He has sent you a Letter and see what he writes to me
So she read That he hoped her fair Charge was well happy and contented Ay to
be sure said I I cant chuse That he did not doubt her Care and Kindness to
me that I was very dear to him and she could not use me too well and the
like There is a Master for you said she Sure you will love and pray for him
I desird her to read the rest No no said she but I wont Said I Are there
any Orders for taking my Shoes away and for beating me No said she nor about
Jezebel neither Well said I I cry Truce for I have no mind to be beat again
I thought said she we had forgiven one another.
My Letter is as follows
»My dearest Pamela
I Begin to repent already that I have bound myself by Promise not
to see you till you give me Leave for I think the Time very tedious
Can you place so much Confidence in me as to invite me down Assure
yourself that your Generosity shall not be thrown away upon me I the
rather would press this as I am uneasy for your Uneasiness for Mrs
Jewkes acquaints me that you take your Restraint very heavily and
neither eat drink nor rest well and I have too great an Interest in
your Health not to wish to shorten the Time of this Trial to you which
will be the Consequence of my coming down to you John too has
intimated to me your Concern with a Grief that hardly gave him Leave
for Utterance a Grief that a little alarmd my Tenderness for you Not
that I fear any thing, but that your Disregard to me which yet my proud
Heart will hardly permit me to own may throw you upon some Rashness
that might encourage a daring Hope But how poorly do I descend to be
anxious about such a Menial as he I will only say one thing that if
you will give me Leave to attend you at the Hall consider who it is
that requests this from you as a Favour I solemnly declare that you
shall have Cause to be pleased with this obliging Mark of your
Confidence in me and Consideration for me and if I find Mrs Jewkes
has not behaved to you with the Respect due to one I so dearly love I
will put it intirely into your Power to discharge her the House if you
think proper and Mrs Jervis or who else you please shall attend you
in her place This I say on a Hint John gave me as if you resented
something from that Quarter Dearest Pamela answer favourably this
earnest Request of one that cannot live without you and on whose Honour
to you you may absolutely depend and so much the more as you place a
Confidence in it I am and assuredly ever will be
Your faithful and affectionate etc
You will be glad I know to hear your Father and Mother are well and
easy upon your last Letter That gave me a Pleasure that I am resolved
you shall not repent Mrs Jewkes will convey to me your Answer«
I but slightly read this Letter for the present to give way to one I had hopes
of finding by this time from Mr Williams I took in Mrs Jewkess Company an
Evening Turn as I calld it and walking by the Place I said Do you think
Mrs Jewkes any of my Beans can have struck since Yesterday She laughd and
said You are a poor Gardener but I love to see you divert yourself She
passing on I found my good Friend had provided for me and slipping it in my
Bosom for her Back was towards me Here said I having a Bean in my Hand is
one of them but it has not stirrd No to be sure said she and turnd upon
me a most wicked Jest unbecoming the Mouth of a Woman about Planting etc
When I came in I hyd to my Closet and read as follows
»I am sorry to tell you that I have a Repulse from Lady Jones She is
concerned at your Case she says but dont care to make herself
Enemies I applyd to Lady Darnford and told her in the most pathetick
manner I could your sad Story and shewd her your more pathetick
Letter I found her well disposd but she would advise with Sir Simon
who bythebye is not a Man of extraordinary Character for Virtue but
he said to his Lady in my Presence Why what is all this my Dear but
that the Squire our Neighbour has a mind to his Mothers Waitingmaid
And if he takes care she wants for nothing I dont see any great Injury
will be done her He hurts no Family by this« So my dear Father and
Mother it seems that poor Peoples Honesty is to go for nothing »And I
think Mr Williams you of all Men should not engage in this Affair
against your Friend and Patron He spoke this in so determind a manner
that the Lady had done and I had only to beg no Notice should be taken
of the Matter as from me
I have hinted your Case to Mr Peters the Minister of this Parish
but I am concernd to say that he imputed selfish Views to me as if I
would make an Interest in your Affections by my Zeal And when I
represented the Duties of our Function etc and protested my
Disinterestedness he coldly said I was very good but was a young Man
and knew little of the World And tho twas a Thing to be lamented yet
when he and I set about to reform the World in this respect we should
have enough upon our Hands for he said it was too common and
fashionable a Case to be withstood by a private Clergyman or two And
then he utterd some Reflections upon the Conduct of the Fathers of the
Church in regard to the first Personages of the Realm as a
Justification of his Coldness on this score
I represented the different Circumstances of your Affair that other
Women livd evilly by their own Consent but to serve you was to save
an Innocence that had but few Examples and then I shewd him your
Letter
He said It was prettily written and he was sorry for you and that
your good Intentions ought to be encouragd but what said he would
you have me do Mr Williams Why suppose Sir said I you give her
Shelter in your House with your Spouse and Niece till she can get to
her Friends What and imbroil myself with a Man of the Squires
Power and Fortune No not I Ill assure you And he would have me
consider what I was about Besides she owns said he that he promises
to do honourably by her and her Shyness will procure her good Terms
enough for he is no covetous nor wicked Gentleman except in this Case
and tis what all young Gentlemen will do
I am greatly concernd for him I assure you but am not discouragd
by this ill Success let what will come of it if I can serve you
I dont hear as yet that the Squire is coming I am glad of your
Hint as to that unhappy Fellow John Arnold something perhaps will
strike out from that which may be useful As to your Pacquets if you
seal them up and lay them in the usual Place if you find it not
mistrusted I will watch an Opportunity to convey them but if they are
large you had best be very cautious This evil Woman I find mistrusts
me much
I just hear that the Gentleman is dying whose Living the Squire
has promisd me I have almost a Scruple of taking it as I am acting so
contrary to his Desires but I hope hell one Day thank me for it As to
Money dont think of it at present Be assured you may command all in
my Power to do for you without Reserve
I believe when we hear he is coming it will be best to make use of
the Key which I shall soon procure you and I can borrow a Horse for
you I believe to wait within half a Mile of the BackDoor over the
Pasture and will contrive by myself or somebody to have you conducted
some Miles distant to some one of the Villages thereabouts so dont be
discomforted I beseech you I am excellent Mrs Pamela
Your faithful Friend etc«
I made a thousand sad Reflections upon the former Part of this honest
Gentlemans kind Letter and but for the Hope he gave me at last should have
given up my Case as quite desperate I then wrote to thank him most gratefully
for his kind Endeavour to lament the little Concern the Gentry had for my
deplorable Case the Wickedness of the World to first give way to such
iniquitous Fashions and then plead the Frequency of them against the Offer to
amend them and how unaffected People were to the Distresses of others I
recalld my former Hint as to writing to Lady Davers which I feard I said
would only serve to apprize her Brother that she knew his wicked Scheme and
more harden him in it and make him come down the sooner and to be the more
determind on my Ruin besides that it might make Mr Williams guessd at as a
means of conveying my Letter and being very fearful that if that good Lady
would interest herself in my Behalf which was a Doubt because she both lovd
and feard her Brother it would have no Effect upon him and that therefore I
would wait the happy Event I might hope for from his kind Assistance in the Key
and the Horse etc I intimated my Masters Letter begging to be permitted to
come down was fearful it might be sudden and that I was of Opinion no Time was
to be lost for we might lose all our Opportunities etc telling him the
Moneytrick of this vile Woman etc
I had not time to take a Copy of this Letter I was so watchd But when I
had it ready in my Bosom I was easy And so I went to seek out Mrs Jewkes and
told her I would have her Advice upon the Letter I had receivd from my Master
which Point of Confidence in her pleasd her not a little Ay said she now
this is something like Why well take a Turn in the Garden or where you
please I pretended it was indifferent to me and so we walkd into the Garden
I began to talk to her of the Letter but was far from acquainting her with all
the Contents only that he wanted my Consent to come down and hopd she usd me
kindly etc And I said Now Mrs Jewkes let me have your Advice as to this
Why then said she I will give it you freely Een send to him to come down It
will highly oblige him and I dare say youll fare the better for it How the
better said I I dare say you think yourself that he intends my Ruin I hate
said she that foolish Word your Ruin Why neer a Lady in the Land may live
happier than you if you will or be more honourably used
Well Mrs Jewkes said I I shall not at this time dispute with you about
the Words Ruin or honourable I thank God we have quite different Notions of
both but now I will speak plainer than ever I did Do you think he intends to
make Proposals to me as to a kept Mistress or kept Slave rather or do you
not Why Lambkin said she what dost thou think thyself I fear said I
he does Well said she but if he does for I know nothing of the Matter I
assure you you may have your own Terms I see that for you may do any thing
with him
I could not bear this to be spoken tho it was all I feard of a long time
and began to exclaim most sadly Nay said she he may marry you as far as I
know No no said I that cannot be I neither desire nor expect it His
Condition dont permit me to have such a Thought and that and the whole Series
of his Conduct to me convinces me of the contrary and you would have me invite
him to come down would you Is not this to invite my Ruin
Tis what I would do said she in your Place and if it was to be as you
think I should rather be out of my Pain than live in continual Frights and
Apprehensions as you do No said I an Hour of Innocence is worth an Age of
Guilt and were my Life to be made ever so miserable by it I should never
forgive myself if I were not to lengthen out to the longest Minute my happy
Time of Honesty Who knows what God may do for me
Why maybe said she as he loves you so well you may prevail upon him by
your Prayers and Tears and for that Reason I should think youd better let him
come down Well said I I will write him a Letter because he expects an
Answer or maybe he will make that a Pretence to come down Youll send it for
me How can it go
»Ill take care of that said she it is in my Instructions« Ay thought
I so I doubt by the Hint Mr Williams gave me about the Posthouse
The Gardener coming by I said Mr Jacob I have planted a few Beans and I call
it my Garden It is just by the Door outyonder Ill shew it you pray dont
dig them up So I went on with him and when we had turnd the Alley out of her
Sight and were near the Place said I Pray step to Mrs Jewkes and ask her if
she has any more Beans for me to plant He smild I suppose at my Foolishness
and I popt the Letter under the Mould and stept back as if waiting for his
Return which being near was immediate and she followd him What should I do
with Beans said she and sadly scard me for she whisperd me I am afraid of
some Fetch you dont use to send of such simple Errands What Fetch said I
it is hard I can neither stir nor speak but I must be suspected Why said
she my Master writes me that I must have all my Eyes about me for tho you
are as innocent as a Dove yet youre as cunning as a Serpent But Ill forgive
you if you cheat me
Then I thought of my Money and could have calld her Names had I dard
And I said Pray Mrs Jewkes now you talk of forgiving me if I cheat you be
so kind as to pay me my Money for tho I have no Occasion for it yet I know
you was but in Jest and intended to give it me again You shall have it in a
proper time said she but indeed I was in earnest to get it out of your
Hands for fear you should make an ill Use of it And so we cavilled upon this
Subject as we walkd in and I went up to write my Letter to my Master and as
I intended to shew it her I resolved to write accordingly as to her Part of it
for I made little Account of the Offer of Mrs Jervis to me instead of this
wicked Woman tho the most agreeable thing that could have befallen me except
my Escape from hence nor indeed of any thing he said For to be honourable in
the just Sense of the Word he need not have causd me to be run away with and
confind as I am I wrote as follows
»Honoured Sir
When I consider how easy it is for you to make me happy since all I
desire is to be permitted to go to my poor Father and Mother When I
reflect upon your former Proposal to me in relation to a certain
Person not one Word of which is now mentioned and upon my being in
that strange manner run away with and still kept here a miserable
Prisoner do you think Sir pardon your poor Servants Freedom my
Fears make me bold do you think I say that your general Assurances of
Honour to me can have the Effect upon me that were it not for these
Things all your Words ought to have O good Sir I too much
apprehend that your Notions of Honour and mine are very different from
one another: And I have no other Hope but in your continued Absence If
you have any Proposals to make me that are consistent with your
honourable Professions in my humble Sense of the Word a few Lines will
communicate them to me and I will return such an Answer as befits me
But Oh what Proposals can one in your high Station have to make to one
in my low one I know what belongs to your Degree too well to imagine
that any thing can be expected but sad Temptations and utter Distress
if you come down and you know not Sir when I am made desperate what
the wretched Pamela dares to do
Whatever Rashness you may impute to me I cannot help it but I wish
I may not be forced upon any that otherwise would never enter into my
Thoughts Forgive me Sir my Plainness I should be loth to behave to
my Master unbecomingly but I must needs say Sir my Innocence is so
dear to me that all other Considerations are and I hope shall ever
be treated by me as Niceties that ought for that to be dispensed
with If you mean honourably why Sir should you not let me know it
plainly Why is it necessary to imprison me to convince me of it And
why must I be close watchd and attended hinderd from stirring out
from speaking to any body from going so much as to Church to pray for
you who have been till of late so generous a Benefactor to me Why
Sir I humbly ask why all this if you mean honourably It is not for
me to expostulate so freely but in a Case so near to me with you Sir
so infinitely my Superior Pardon me I hope you will but as to any the
least Desire of seeing you I cannot so much as bear the dreadful
Apprehension Whatever you have to propose whatever you intend by me
let my Assent be that of a free Person mean as I am and not of a
sordid Slave who is to be threatened and frightened into a Compliance
that your Conduct to her seems to imply would be otherwise abhorrd by
her My Restraint is indeed hard upon me I am very uneasy under it
Shorten it I beseech you or But I will not dare to say more than
that I am
Your greatly oppressed unhappy Servant«
After I had taken a Copy of this I folded it up and Mrs Jewkes coming up
just as I had done sat down by me and said when she saw me direct it I wish
you would tell me if you have taken my Advice and consented to my Masters
coming down If it will oblige you said I I will read it to you Thats good
said she then Ill love you dearly Says I then you must not offer to alter
one Word I wont said she so I read it to her and she praisd me much for my
Wording it but said she thought I pushd the Matter very close and it would
better bear talking of than writing about She wanted an Explanation or two as
about the Proposal to a certain Person but I said she must take it as she heard
it Well well said she I make no doubt you understand one another, and will
do so more and more I seald up the Letter and she undertook to convey it
Sunday
For my part I knew it in vain to expect to have Leave to go to Church now and
so I did not ask and I was the more indifferent because if I might have had
Permission the Sight of the neighbouring Gentry who had despisd my
Sufferings would have given me great Regret and Sorrow and it was impossible I
should have edifyd under any Doctrine preached by Mr Peters So I applyd
myself to my private Devotions
Mr Williams came Yesterday and this Day as usual and took my Letter but
having no good Opportunity we avoided one another's Conversation and kept at a
Distance But I was concernd I had not the Key for I would not have lost a
Moment in that Case had it been me When I was at my Devotions Mrs Jewkes
came up and wanted me sadly to sing her a Psalm as she had often on common
Days importund me for a Song upon the Spinnet but I declind it because my
Spirits were so low I could hardly speak nor card to be spoke to but when
she was gone I remembering the 137th Psalm to be a little touching turnd to
it and took the Liberty to alter it to my Case more I hope I did not sin in
it But thus I turnd it
I
When sad I sat in Bnhall
All watched round about
And thought of evry absent Friend
The Tears for Grief burst out
II
My Joys and Hopes all overthrown
My Heart strings almost broke
Unfit my Mind for Melody
Much more to bear a Joke
III
Then she to whom I Prisoner was
Said to me tauntingly
Now chear your Heart and sing a Song
And tune your Mind to Joy
IV
Alas said I how can I frame
My heavy Heart to sing
Or tune my Mind while thus inthralld
By such a wicked Thing
V
But yet if from my Innocence
I evn in Thought should slide
Then let my Fingers quite forget
The sweet Spinnet to guide
VI
And let my Tongue within my Mouth
Be lockd for ever fast
If I rejoice before I see
My full Delivrance past
VII
And thou Almighty recompence
The Evils I endure
From those who seek my sad Disgrace
So causeless to procure
VIII
Remember Lord this Mrs Jewkes
When with a mighty Sound
She cries Down with her Chastity
Down to the very Ground
IX
Evn so shalt thou O wicked One
At length to Shame be brought
And happy shall all those be calld
That my Delivrance wrought
X
Yea blessed shall the Man be calld
That shames thee of thy Evil
And saves me from thy vile Attempts
And thee too from the Dl
Monday Tuesday Wednesday
I Write now with a little more Liking tho less Opportunity because Mr
Williams has got a large Parcel of my Papers safe in his Hands to send them to
you as he has Opportunity so I am not quite uselessly employd and I am
deliverd besides from the Fear of their being found if I should be searchd
or discoverd I have been permitted to take an Airing five or six Miles with
Mrs Jewkes But tho I know not the Reason she watches me more closely than
ever so that we have discontinued by Consent for these three Days the
Sunflower Correspondence
The poor Cookmaid has had a bad Mischance for she has been hurt much by a
Bull in the Pasture by the Side of the Garden not far from the Backdoor Now
this Pasture I am to cross which is about half a Mile and then comes to a
Common and near that a private Horseroad where I hope to find an Opportunity
for escaping as soon as Mr Williams can get me a Horse and has made all ready
for me For he has got me the Key which he put under the Mould just by the
Door as he found an Opportunity to hint to me
He just now has signifyd that the Gentleman is dead whose Living he has
had Hope of and he came pretendedly to tell Mrs Jewkes of it and so could
speak this to her before me She wishd him Joy see what the World is one
Mans Death is another Mans Joy Thus we thrust out one another! My hard Case
makes me serious He found means to slide a Letter into my Hands and is gone
away He lookd at me with such Respect and Solemnness at Parting that Mrs
Jewkes said Why Madam I believe our young Parson is half in Love with you
Ah Mrs Jewkes said I he knows better Said she I believe to sound me Why
I cant see you can either of you do better and I have lately been so touchd
for you seeing how heavily you apprehend Dishonour from my Master that I think
it is Pity you should not have Mr Williams
I knew this must be a Fetch of hers because instead of being troubled for
me she had watched me closer and him too and so I said There is not the Man
living that I desire to marry if I can but keep myself honest it is all my
Desire and to be a Comfort and Assistance to my poor Parents if it should be
my happy Lot to be so is the very Top of my Ambition Well but said she I
have been thinking very seriously that Mr Williams would make you a good
Husband and as he will owe all his Fortune to my Master he will be very glad
to be sure to be obligd to him for a Wife of his chusing Especially said
she such a pretty one and one so ingenious and genteelly educated
This gave me a Doubt whether she knew of my Masters Intimation of that
sort formerly and I asked her if she had Reason to surmize that that was in
View No she said it was only her own Thought but it was very likely that my
Master had either that in View or something better for me But if I approvd
of it she would propose such a thing to her Master directly and gave a
detestable Hint that I might take Resolutions upon it of bringing such an
Affair to Effect I told her I abhorrd her Insinuation and as to Mr
Williams I thought him a civil good sort of Man but as on one side he was
above me so on the other of all Things I did not love a Parson So finding
she could make nothing of me she quitted the Subject
I will open his Letter byandby and give you the Contents of it for she
is up and down so much that I am afraid of her catching me
Well I see Providence has not abandond me I shall be under no Necessity to
make Advances to Mr Williams if I was as I am sure I am not disposd to it
This is his Letter
»I Know not how to express myself lest I should appear to you to have a
selfish View in the Service I would do you But I really know but one
effectual and honourable Way to disengage yourself from the dangerous
Situation you are in It is that of Marriage with some Person that you
could make happy in your Approbation As for my own part it would be
as Things stand my apparent Ruin and worse still I should involve
you in Misery too But yet so great is my Veneration for you and so
intire my Reliance in Providence on so just an Occasion that I should
think myself but too happy if I might be accepted I would in this
Case forego all my Expectations and be your Conductor to some safe
Distance But why do I say in this Case That I will do whether you
think fit to reward me so eminently or not And I will the Moment I
hear of the Squires setting out and I think now I have settled a
very good Method of Intelligence of all his Motions get the Horse
ready and myself to conduct you I refer myself wholly to your Goodness
and Direction and am with the highest Respect
Your most faithful humble Servant
Dont think this a sudden Resolution I always admird your hearsay
Character and the Moment I saw you wishd to serve so much
Excellence«
What shall I say my dear Father and Mother to this unexpected Declaration I
want now more than ever your Blessing and Direction But after all I have no
Mind to marry I had rather live with you But yet I would marry a Man who begs
from Door to Door and has no Home nor Being rather than indanger my Honesty
Yet I cannot methinks hear of being a Wife After a thousand different
Thoughts I wrote as follows
»Reverend Sir
I am much confused at the Contents of your last You are much too
generous and I cant bear you should risque all your future Prospects
for so unworthy a Creature I cannot think of your Offer without equal
Concern and Gratitude for nothing but to avoid my utter Ruin can make
me think of a Change of Condition and so Sir you ought not to accept
of such an involuntary Compliance as mine would be were I upon the
last Necessity to yield to your very generous Proposal I will rely
wholly upon your Goodness to me in assisting my Escape but shall not
on your account principally think of the Honour you propose for me at
present and never but at the Pleasure of my Parents who poor as they
are in such a weighty Point are as much intitled to my Obedience and
Duty as if they were ever so rich I beg you therefore Sir not to
think of any thing from me but everlasting Gratitude which will always
bind me to be
Your most obliged Servant«
Thursday Friday Saturday the 14th 15th and 16th of my Bondage
Mrs Jewkes has received a Letter and is much civiller to me and Mr Williams
too than she used to be I wonder I have not one in Answer to mine to my
Master I suppose I pressd the Matter too home to him and he is angry I am
not the more pleasd for her Civility for she is horrid cunning and is not a
bit less watchful I laid a Trap to get at her Instructions which she carries
in the Bosom of her Stays but it has not succeeded
My last Letter is come safe to Mr Williams by the old Conveyance so that
is not suspected He has intimated that tho I have not come so readily as he
hopd into his Scheme yet his Diligence shall not be slackend and he will
leave it to Providence and myself to dispose of him as he shall be found to
deserve He has signifyd to me that he shall soon send a special Messenger
with the Pacquet to you and I have added to it what has occurrd since
Sunday
I am just now quite astonishd I hope all is right But I have a strange
Turn to acquaint you with Mr Williams and Mrs Jewkes came to me both
together he in Ecstacies she with a strange fluttering sort of Air Well said
she Mrs Pamela I give you Joy I give you Joy Let nobody speak but me
Then she sat down as out of Breath puffing and blowing Why every thing turns
as I said it would said she Why there is to be a Match between you and Mr
Williams Well I always thought it Never was so good a Master Go to go to
naughty mistrustful Mrs Pamela nay Mrs Williams said the forward Creature
I may as good as call you you ought on your Knees to beg his Pardon a thousand
times for mistrusting him
She was going on but I said Dont torture me thus I beseech you Mrs
Jewkes Let me know all Ah Mr Williams said I take care take care
Mistrustful again said she why Mr Williams shew her your Letter and I will
shew her mine They were brought by the same Hand
I trembled at the Thoughts of what this might mean and said You have so
surprizd me that I cannot stand nor hear nor read Why did you come up in
such a manner to attack such weak Spirits Said he to Mrs Jewkes Shall we
leave our Letters with Mrs Pamela and let her recover from her Surprize Ay
said she with all my Heart here is nothing but flaming Honour and Goodwill
And so saying they left me their Letters and withdrew
My Heart was quite sick with the Surprize so that I could not presently
read them notwithstanding my Impatience but after a while recovering I found
the Contents thus strange and wonderful
»Mr Williams
The Death of Mr Fownes has now given me the Opportunity I have long
wanted to make you happy and that in a double respect For I shall soon
put you in Possession of his Living and if you have the Art of making
yourself well receivd of one of the loveliest Wives in England She
has not been used as she has reason to think according to her Merit
but when she finds herself under the Protection of a Man of Virtue and
Probity and a happy Competency to support Life in the manner to which
she has been of late Years accustomd I am persuaded she will forgive
those seeming Hardships which have pavd the Way to so happy a Lot as I
hope it will be to you both I have only to account for and excuse the
odd Conduct I have been guilty of which I shall do when I see you But
as I shall soon set out for London I believe it will not be yet this
Month Mean time if you can prevail with Pamela you need not suspend
for that your mutual Happiness only let me have Notice of it first
and that she approves of it which ought to be in so material a Point
intirely at her Option as I assure you on the other hand I would have
it on yours that nothing may be wanting to complete your Happiness I
am
Your humble Servant«
Was ever the like heard Lie still my throbbing Heart divided as thou art
between thy Hopes and thy Fears But this is the Letter Mrs Jewkes left with
me
»Mrs Jewkes
You have been very careful and diligent in the Task which for
Reasons I shall hereafter explain I had imposd upon you Your Trouble
is now almost at an End for I have wrote my Intentions to Mr Williams
so particularly that I need say the less here because he will not
scruple I believe to let you know the Contents of my Letter I have
only one Thing to mention that if you find what I have hinted to him in
the least measure disagreeable to either that you assure them both that
they are at intire Liberty to pursue their own Inclinations I hope you
continue your Civilities to the mistrustful uneasy Pamela who now will
begin to think better of hers and
Your Friend etc«
I had hardly time to transcribe these Letters tho writing so much I write
pretty fast before they both came up again in high Spirits and Mr Williams
said I am glad at my Heart Madam that I was beforehand in my Declarations to
you This generous Letter has made me the happiest Man on Earth and Mrs
Jewkes you may be sure that if I can procure this Fairones Consent I shall
think myself I interrupted the good Man and said Ah Mr Williams take
care take care dont let There I stopt and Mrs Jewkes said Still
mistrustful I never saw the like in my Life But I see said she I was not
wrong while my old Orders lasted to be wary of you both I should have had a
hard Task to prevent you I find for as the Saying is Nought can restrain
Consent of Twain
I doubted not her taking hold of his joyful Indiscretion I took her
Letter and said Here Mrs Jewkes is yours I thank you for it but I have
been so long in a Maze that I can say nothing of this for the present Time
will bring all to Light Sir said I here is yours May every thing turn to
your Happiness I give you Joy of my Masters Goodness in the Living It will
be dying said he not a Living without you Forbear Sir said I While Ive
a Father and Mother I am not my own Mistress poor as they are And Ill see
myself quite at Liberty before I shall think myself fit to make a Choice
Mrs Jewkes held up her Eyes and Hands and said Such Art such Caution
such Cunning for thy Years Well Why said I that he might be more on his
Guard tho I hope there cannot be Deceit in this twould be strange Villainy
and that is a hard Word if there should I have been so used to be made a Fool
of by Fortune that I hardly can tell how to govern myself and am almost an
Infidel as to Mankind But I hope I may be wrong henceforth Mrs Jewkes
you shall regulate my Opinions as you please and I will consult you in every
thing that I think proper said I to myself for to be sure tho I may
forgive her I can never love her
She left Mr Williams and me a few Minutes together and I said Consider
Sir consider what you have done Tis impossible said he there can be Deceit
I hope so said I but what Necessity was there for you to talk of your former
Declaration Let this be as it will that could do no Good especially before
this Woman Forgive me Sir they talk of Womens Promptness of Speech but
indeed I see an honest Heart is not always to be trusted with itself in bad
Company
He was going to reply but tho her Task is said to be ALMOST I took
Notice of that Word at an End she came up to us again and said Well I had a
good mind to shew you the way to Church tomorrow I was glad of this because
tho in my present doubtful Situation I should not have chosen it yet I would
have encouragd her Proposal to be able to judge by her being in Earnest or
otherwise whether one might depend upon the rest But Mr Williams again
indiscreetly helpd her to an Excuse by saying that it was now best to defer
it one Sunday and till Matters were riper for my Appearance and she readily
took hold of it
After all I hope the best but if this should turn out to be a Plot I fear
nothing but a Miracle can save me But sure the Heart of Man is not capable of
such black Deceit Besides Mr Williams has it under his own Hand and he dare
not but be in Earnest and then again tho to be sure he has been very wrong to
me yet his Education and Parents Example have neither of them taught him such
very black Contrivances So I will hope for the best
Mr Williams Mrs Jewkes and I have been all three walking together in the
Garden and she pulld out her Key and we walkd a little in the Pasture to
look at the Bull an ugly grim surly Creature that hurt the poor Cookmaid
who is got pretty well again Mr Williams pointed at the Sunflower but I was
forcd to be very reserved to him for the poor Gentlemen has no Guard no
Caution at all
We have just suppd together all three and I cannot yet think but all must
be right Only I am resolvd not to marry if I can help it and I will give
no Encouragement I am resolvd at least till I am with you
Mr Williams said before Mrs Jewkes he would send a Messenger with a
Letter to my Father and Mother I think the Man has no Discretion in the
World But I desire you will give no Answer till I have the Pleasure and
Happiness which now I hope for soon of seeing you He will in sending my
Pacquet send a most tedious Parcel of Stuff of my Oppressions my Distresses
my Fears and so I will send this with it for Mrs Jewkes gives me Leave to
send a Letter to my Father which looks well and I am glad I can conclude
after all my Sufferings with my Hopes to be soon with you which I know will
give you Comfort and so I rest begging the Continuance of your Prayers and
Blessings
Your ever dutiful Daughter
My dear Father and Mother
I Have so much Time upon my Hands that I must write on to employ myself
The Sunday Evening where I left off Mrs Jewkes asked me If I chose to lie by
myself I said Yes with all my Heart if she pleased Well said she after
tonight you shall I askd her for more Paper and she gave me a little Bottle
of Ink eight Sheets of Paper which she said was all her Store for now she
would get me to write for her to our Master if she had Occasion and six Pens
with a Piece of Sealingwax This looks mighty well
She pressd me when she came to Bed very much to give Encouragement to
Mr Williams and said many Things in his Behalf and blamd my Shyness to him
etc I told her I was resolvd to give no Encouragement till I had talkd to my
Father and Mother She said she fancyd I thought of somebody else or I could
never be so insensible I assurd her as I could do very safely that there was
not a Man on Earth I wishd to have and as to Mr Williams he might do better
by far and I had proposed so much Happiness in living with my poor Father and
Mother that I could not think of any Scheme of Life with Pleasure till I had
tryd that I askd her for my Money and she said it was above in her strong
Box but that I shall have it tomorrow All these Things look well as I said
Mr Williams would go home this Night tho late because he would dispatch
a Messenger to you with a Letter he had proposd from himself and my Pacquet
But pray dont encourage him as I said for he is much too heady and
precipitate as to this Matter in my way of thinking tho to be sure he is a
very good Man and I am much obligd to him
Monday Morning
Alasaday we have bad News from poor Mr Williams He has had a sad Mischance
fallen among Rogues in his Way home last Night but by good Chance has savd my
Papers This is the Account he gives of it to Mrs Jewkes
»Good Mrs Jewkes
I Have had a sore Misfortune in going from you when I had got as
near the Town as the Dam and was going to cross the Wooden bridge two
Fellows got hold of me and swore bitterly they would kill me if I did
not give them what I had They romagd my Pockets and took from me my
SnuffBox my Sealring and Half a Guinea and some Silver and
Halfpence also my Handkerchief and two or three Letters I had in my
Pocket By good Fortune the Letter Mrs Pamela gave me was in my Bosom
and so that escapd but they bruisd my Head and Face and cursing me
for having no more Money tipt me into the Dam Crying Lie there
Parson till to morrow My Shins and Knees were bruisd much in the
Fall against one of the Stumps and I had like to have been suffocated
in Water and Mud To be sure I shant be able to stir out this Day or
two For I am a fearful Spectacle My Hat and Wig I was forcd to leave
behind me and go home a Mile and a Half without but they were found
next Morning and brought me with my Snuffbox which the Rogues must
have dropt My Cassock is sadly torn as is my Band To be sure I was
much frighted for a Robbery in these Parts has not been known many
Years Diligent Search is making after the Rogues My humblest Respects
to good Mrs Pamela If she pities my Misfortunes I shall be the sooner
well and fit to wait on her and you This did not hinder me in writing
a Letter tho with great Pain as I do this« To be sure this good Man
can keep no Secret »and sending it away by a Man and Horse this
Morning I am good Mrs Jewkes
Your most obliged humble Servant
God be praisd it is no worse and I find I have got no Cold tho
miserably wet from Top to Toe My Fright I believe prevented me
catching Cold for I was not rightly myself for some Hours and know not
how I got home I will write a Letter of Thanks this Night if I am
able to my kind Patron for his inestimable Goodness to me I wish I was
enabled to say all I hope with regard to the better Part of his Bounty
to me incomparable Mrs Pamela«
The wicked Brute fell a laughing when she had read this Letter till her fat
Sides shook said she I can but think how the poor Parson lookd after parting
with his pretty Mistress in such high Spirits when he found himself at the
Bottom of the Dam And what a Figure he must cut in his tatterd Band and
Cassock and without Hat and Wig when he got home I warrant said she he was
in a sweet Pickle I said I thought it was very barbarous to laugh at such a
Misfortune But she said As he was safe she laughed otherwise she should have
been sorry And she was glad to see me so concernd for him It lookd
promising she said
I heeded not her Reflection but as I have been used to Causes for
Mistrusts I cannot help saying that I dont like this thing And their taking
his Letters most alarms me How happy it was they missd my Pacquet I know
not what to think of it But why should I let every Accident break my Peace
But yet it will do so while I stay here
Mrs Jewkes is mightily at me to go with her in the Chariot to visit Mr
Williams She is so officious to bring on the Affair between us that being a
cunning artful Woman I know not what to make of it I have refused her
absolutely urging that except I intended to encourage his Suit I ought not to
do it And she is gone without me
I have strange Temptations to get away in her Absence for all these fine
Appearances Tis sad to have no body to advise with I know not what to do
But alas for me I have no Money if I should to buy any bodys Civilities or
to pay for Necessaries or Lodging But Ill go into the Garden and resolve
afterwards
I have been in the Garden and to the Backdoor and there I stood my Heart up
at my Mouth I could not see I was watchd so this looks well But if any thing
should go bad afterwards I should never forgive myself for not taking this
Opportunity Well I will go down again and see if all is clear and how it
looks out at the Backdoor in the Pasture
To be sure there is Witchcraft in this House and I believe Lucifer is bribed
as well as all about me and is got into the Shape of that nasty grim Bull to
watch me For I have been down again and venturd to open the Door and went
out about a Bowshoot into the Pasture but there stood that horrid Bull
staring me full in the Face with fiery Saucer Eyes as I thought So I got in
again for fear he should come at me Nobody saw me however Do you think
there are such things as Witches and Spirits if there be I believe in my
Heart Mrs Jewkes has got this Bull of her Side But yet what could I do
without Money or a Friend O this wicked Woman to trick me so Every thing
Man Woman and Beast is in a Plot against your poor Pamela I think Then I
know not one Step of the Way nor how far to any House or Cottage and whether I
could gain Protection if I got to a House And now the Robbers are abroad too
I may run into as great Danger as I want to escape from nay greater much if
these promising Appearances hold And sure my Master cannot be so black as that
they should not What can I do I have a good mind to try for it once more
but then I may be pursued and taken and it will be worse for me and this
wicked Woman will beat me and take my Shoes away and lock me up
But after all if my Master should mean well he cant be angry at my Fears
if I should escape and nobody can blame me and I can more easily be induced
with you when all my Apprehensions are over to consider his Proposal of Mr
Williams than I could here and he pretends he will leave me at my Choice Why
then should I be afraid I will go down again I think But yet my Heart
misgives me because of the Difficulties before me in escaping and being so
poor and so friendless O good God the Preserver of the Innocent direct me
what to do Well I have just now a sort of strange Persuasion upon me that I
ought to try to get away and leave the Issue to Providence So once more
Ill see at least if this Bull be still there
Alackaday what a Fate is this I have not the Courage to go neither can I
think to stay But I must resolve The Gardener was in Sight last time so made
me come up again But Ill contrive to send him out of the way if I can For
if I never should have such another Opportunity I could not forgive myself
Once more Ill venture God direct my Footsteps and make smooth my Path and my
Way to Safety
Well here I am come back again frighted like a Fool out of all my
Purposes O how terrible every thing appears to me I had got twice as far
again as I was before out of the Backdoor and I looked and saw the Bull as
I thought between me and the Door and another Bull coming towards me the other
way Well thought I here is double Witchcraft to be sure Here is the Spirit
of my Master in one Bull and Mrs Jewkess in the other and now I am gone to
be sure O help cryd I like a Fool and run back to the Door as swift as if
I flew When I had got the Door in my Hand I venturd to look back to see if
these supposed Bulls were coming and I saw they were only two poor Cows a
grazing in distant Places that my Fears had made all this Rout about But as
every thing is so frightful to me I find I am not fit to think of my Escape
For I shall be as much frighted at the first strange Man that I meet with And I
am persuaded that Fear brings one into more Dangers than the Caution that
goes along with it delivers one from
I then locked the Door and put the Key in my Pocket and was in a sad
Quandary but I was soon determined for the Maid Nan came in Sight and asked
If any thing was the matter that I was so often up and down Stairs God forgive
me but I had a sad Lye at my Tongues End said I Tho Mrs Jewkes is
sometimes a little hard upon me yet I know not where I am without her I go up
and I come down to walk about in the Garden and not having her know scarcely
what to do with myself Ay said the Idiot she is main good Company Madam no
wonder you miss her
So here I am again and here likely to be for I have no Courage to help myself
anywhere else O why are poor foolish Maidens tryd with such Dangers when
they have such weak Minds to grapple with them I will since it is so hope
the best But yet I cannot but observe how grievously every thing makes against
me For here are the Robbers tho I fell not into their Hands myself yet they
gave me as much Terror and had as great an Effect upon my Fears as if I had
And here is the Bull it has as effectually frightend me as if I had been hurt
by it instead of the Cookmaid and so they joind together as I may say to
make a very Dastard of me But my Folly was the worst of all for that deprivd
me of my Money for had I had that I believe I should have venturd the other
Two
Monday Afternoon
So Mrs Jewkes is returned from her Visit Well said she I would have you set
your Heart at Rest for Mr Williams will do very well again He is not half so
badly off as he fancyd O these Scholars said she they have not the Hearts of
Mice He has only a few Scratches on his Face which said she I suppose he got
by grabbling among the Gravel at the Bottom of the Dam to try to find a Hole
in the Ground to hide himself from the Robbers His Shin and his Knee are
hardly to be seen to ail any thing. He says in his Letter he was a frightful
Spectacle He might be so indeed when he first came in adoors but he looks
well enough now and only for a few Groans nowandthen when he thinks of his
Danger I see nothing is the matter with him So Mrs Pamela said she I would
have you be very easy about it I am glad of it said I for all your Jokes
Mrs Jewkes
Well said she he talks of nothing but you and when I told him I would
fain have persuaded you to come with me the Man was out of his Wits with his
Gratitude to me and so has laid open all his Heart to me and told me all that
has passed and was contriving between you two This alarmd me prodigiously
and the rather as I saw by two or three Instances that his honest Heart could
keep nothing believing every one as undesigning as himself I said but yet
with a heavy Heart Ah Mrs Jewkes Mrs Jewkes this might have done with me
had he had any thing that he could have told you of But you know well enough
that had we been disposed we had no Opportunity for it from your watchful Care
and Circumspection No said she thats very true Mrs Pamela not so much as
for that Declaration that he ownd before me he had found Opportunity for all
my Watchfulness to make you Come come said she no more of these Shams with
me You have an excellent Headpiece for your Years but maybe I am as cunning
as you However said she all is well now because my Watchments are now
over by my Masters Direction How have you employd yourself in my Absence
I was so troubled at what might have passed between Mr Williams and her
that I could not hide it And she said Well Mrs Pamela since all Matters are
likely to be so soon and so happily ended let me advise you to be a little less
concernd at his Discoveries and make me your Confident as he has done and I
shall think you have some Favour for me and Reliance upon me and perhaps you
might not repent it
She was so earnest that I mistrusted she did this to pump me and I knew
how now to account for her Kindness to Mr Williams in her Visit to him
which was only to get out of him what she could Why Mrs Jewkes said I is
all this fishing about for something where there is nothing if there be an End
of your Watchments as you call them Nothing said she but Womanish Curiosity
Ill assure you for one is naturally led to find out Matters where there is
such Privacy intended Well said I pray let me know what he has said and then
Ill give you an Answer to your Curiosity I dont care said she whether you
do or not for I have as much as I wanted from him and I despair of getting out
of you any thing you hant a mind I should know my little cunning Dear Well
said I let him have said what he would I care not for I am sure he can say no
Harm of me and so let us change the Talk
I was the easier indeed because for all her Pumps she gave no Hints of
the Key and the Door etc which had he communicated to her she would not have
forborn giving me a Touch of And so we gave up one another, as despairing to
gain our Ends of each other But I am sure he must have said more than he
should And I am the more apprehensive all is not right because she has now
been actually these two Hours shut up awriting tho she pretended she had
given me up all her Stores of Paper etc and that I should write for her I
begin to wish I had venturd every thing and gone off when I might O when
will this State of Doubt and Uneasiness end
She has just been with me and says she shall send a Messenger to Bedfordshire
and he shall carry a Letter of Thanks for me if I will write it for my
Masters Favour to me Indeed said I I have no Thanks to give till I am with
my Father and Mother And besides I sent a Letter as you know but have had no
Answer to it She said she thought that his Letter was sufficient to Mr
Williams and the least I could do was to thank him if but in two Lines No
need of it said I for I dont intend to have Mr Williams What then is that
Letter to me Well said she I see thou art quite unfathomable
I dont like all this O my foolish Fears of Bulls and Robbers For now
all my Uneasiness begins to double upon me O what has this uncautious Man said
That no doubt is the Subject of her long Letter
I will close this Days writing with just saying that she is mighty silent
and reserved to what she was and says nothing but No or Yes to what I ask
Something must be hatching I doubt I the rather think so because I find she
does not keep her word with me about lying by myself and my Money to both
which Points she returnd suspicious Answers saying as to the one Why you
are mighty earnest for your Money I shant run away with it And to the other
Good lack you need not be so willing as I know of to part with me for a
Bedfellow till you are sure of one you like better This cut me to the Heart
And at the same time stopt my Mouth
Tuesday Wednesday
Mr Williams has been here but we have had no Opportunity to talk together He
seemd confounded at Mrs Jewkess Change of Temper and Reservedness after her
kind Visit and their Freedom with one another, and much more at what I am going
to tell you He asked if I would take a Turn in the Garden with Mrs Jewkes and
him No said she I cant go Said he May not Mrs Pamela take a Walk No
said she I desire she wont Why said he Mrs Jewkes I am afraid I have
somehow disobliged you Not at all said she but I suppose you will soon be at
Liberty to walk together as much as you please And I have sent a Messenger for
my last Instructions about this and more weighty Matters and when they come I
shall leave you to do as you both will but till then it is no matter how
little you are together This alarmd us both and he seemd quite struck of a
Heap and put on as I thought a self-accusing Countenance So I went behind
her Back and held my two Hands together flat with a Bit of Paper I had
between them and looked at him and he seemed to take me as I intended
intimating the renewing of the Correspondence by the Tiles
So I left them both together and retired to my Closet to write a Letter
for the Tiles but having no Time for a Copy I will give you the Substance
only
I expostulated with him on his too great Openness and Easiness to fall into
Mrs Jewkess Snares told him my Apprehensions of foul Play and gave briefly
the Reasons which moved me Beggd to know what he had said and intimated that
I thought there was the highest Reason to resume our Project of the Escape by
the Backdoor I put this in the usual Place in the Evening and now wait with
Impatience for an Answer
Thursday
I have the following Answer
»Dearest Madam
I am utterly confounded and must plead guilty to all your just
Reproaches O that I was Master of half your Caution and Discretion I
hope after all this is only a Touch of this ill Womans Temper to
shew her Power and Importance For I think Mr B neither can nor dare
deceive me in so black a manner I would expose him all the World over
if he did But it is not cannot be in him I have received a Letter
from John Arnold in which he tells me that the Squire is preparing
for his London Journey and believes afterwards he will come into
these Parts But he says Lady Davers is at their House and is to
accompany her Brother to London or meet him there he knows not which
He professes great Zeal and Affection to your Service But I find he
refers to a Letter he sent me before but which is not come to my Hand
I think there can be no Treachery for it is a particular Friend at
Gainsborough that I have orderd him to direct to and this is come
safe to my Hands by this means for well I know I durst trust nothing
to Brett at the Posthouse here This gives me a little Pain but I
hope all will end well and we shall soon hear if it be necessary to
pursue our former Intentions If it be I will lose no Time to provide a
Horse for you and another for myself for I can never do either God or
myself better Service tho I were to forego all my Expectations for it
here I am
Your most faithful humble Servant
I was too free indeed with Mrs Jewkes led to it by her Dissimulation
and by her Concern to make me happy with you I hinted that I would not
have scrupled to have procured your Deliverance by any means and that I
had proposed to you as the only honourable one Marriage with me But I
assured her tho she would hardly believe me that you discouraged my
Application Which is too true But not a Word of the Backdoor Key
etc«
Mrs Jewkes continues still sullen and illnaturd and I am afraid almost to
speak to her She watches me as close as ever and pretends to wonder why I shun
her Company as I do
I have just put under the Tiles these Lines inspired by my Fears which are
indeed very strong and I doubt not without Reason
»Sir
Every thing gives me additional Disturbance The missd Letter of
John Arnolds makes me suspect a Plot Yet am I loth to think myself of
so much Importance as to suppose every one in a Plot against me Are
you sure however the London Journey is not to be a Lincolnshire one
May not John who has been once a Traitor be so again Why need I be
thus in doubt If I could have this Horse I would turn the Reins on
his Neck and trust to Providence to guide him for my Safeguard For I
would not indanger you now just upon the Edge of your Preferment Yet
Sir I fear your fatal Openness will make you suspected as accessary
let us be ever so cautious
Were my Life in question instead of my Honesty I would not wish to
involve you or any body in the least Difficulty for so worthless a
poor Creature But O Sir my Soul is of equal Importance with the Soul
of a Princess though my Quality is inferior to that of the meanest
Slave
Save then my Innocence good God and preserve my Mind spotless
and happy shall I be to lay down my worthless Life and see an End to
all my Troubles and Anxieties
Forgive my Impatience But my presaging Mind bodes horrid Mischiefs
Every thing looks dark around me and this Womans impenetrable
Sullenness and Silence without any apparent Reason from a Conduct so
very contrary bids me fear the worst Blame me Sir if you think me
wrong and let me have your Advice what to do which will oblige
Your most afflicted Servant«
Friday
I Have this halfangry Answer but what is more to me than all the Letters in
the World could be yours my dear Father inclosed
»Madam
I Think you are too apprehensive by much I am sorry for your
Uneasiness You may depend upon me and all I can do But I make no
doubt of the London Journey nor of Johns Contrition and Fidelity I
have just received from my Gainsborough Friend this Letter as I
suppose from your good Father in a Cover as directed for me as I had
desired I hope it contains nothing to add to your Uneasiness Pray
dearest Madam lay aside your Fears and wait a few Days for the Issue
of Mrs Jewkess Letter and mine of Thanks to the Squire Things I
hope must be better than you expect God Almighty will not desert such
Piety and Innocence and be this your Comfort and Reliance Which is the
best Advice that can at present be given by
Your most faithful humble Servant«
N B The Fathers Letter was as follows
»My dearest Daughter
God has at length heard our Prayers and we are overwhelmed with his
Goodness O what Sufferings what Trials hast thou gone thro and
blessed be God who enabled thee what Temptations hast thou withstood
We have not yet had Leisure to read thro your long Accounts of all your
Hardships I say long because I wonder how you could find Time and
Opportunity for them but otherwise they are the Delight of our spare
Hours and we shall read them over and over as long as we live with
Thankfulness to God who has given us so virtuous and so discreet a
Daughter How happy is our Lot in the midst of our Poverty O let none
ever think Children a Burden to them when the poorest Circumstances can
produce so much Riches in a Pamela Persist my dear Daughter in the
same excellent Course and we shall not envy the highest Estate but
defy them to produce such a Daughter as ours
I said we had not read thro all yours in Course We were too
impatient and so turnd to the End where we find your Virtue within
View of its Reward and your Masters Heart turnd to see the Folly of
his Ways and the Injury he had intended to our dear Child For to be
sure my Dear he would have ruind you if he could But seeing your
Virtue God has touched his Heart and he has no doubt been edified by
your good Example
We dont see that you can do any way so well as to come into the
present Proposal and make Mr Williams the worthy Mr Williams God
bless him happy And tho we are poor and can add no Merit no
Reputation no Fortune to our dear Child but rather must be a Disgrace
to her as the World will think yet I hope I do not sin in my Pride to
say that there is no good Man of a common Degree especially as your
late Ladys Kindness gave you such good Opportunities which by Gods
Grace you have so well improvd but may think himself happy in you
But as you say you had rather not marry at present far be it from us
to offer Violence to your Inclinations So much Prudence as you have
shewn in all your Conduct would make it very wrong in us to mistrust it
in this or to offer to direct you in your Choice But alas my Child
what can we do for you To partake our hard Lot and involve yourself
into as hard a Life would not help us but add to our Afflictions But
it is time enough to talk of these things when we have the Pleasure you
now put us in Hope of of seeing you with us which God grant Amen
Amen say
Your most indulgent Parents Amen
Our humbest Service and Thanks to the worthy Mr Williams Again we
say, God bless him for ever
O what a deal have we to say to you God give us a happy Meeting We
understand the Squire is setting out for London He is a fine
Gentleman and has Wit at Will I wish he was as good But I hope he
will now reform«
O what inexpressible Comfort my dear Father has your Letter given
me You ask What can you do for me What is it you cannot do for your
Child You can give her the Advice she has so much wanted and still
wants and will always want you can confirm her in the Paths of Virtue
into which you first initiated her and you can pray for her with
Hearts so sincere and pure that are not to be met with in Palaces
Oh how I long to throw myself at your Feet and receive from your own
Lips the Blessings of such good Parents But alas how are my
Prospects again overclouded to what they were when I closed my last
Parcel More Trials more Dangers I fear must your poor Pamela be
engaged in But thro Gods Goodness and your Prayers I hope at last
to get well out of all my Difficulties and the rather as they are not
the Effect of my own Vanity or Presumption
But I will proceed with my hopeless Story I saw Mr Williams was a
little nettled at my Impatience and so I wrote to assure him I would be
as easy as I could and directed by him especially as my Father whose
Respects I mentioned had assured me my Master was setting out for
London which he must have somehow from his own Family or he would not
have written me word of it
Saturday Sunday
Mr Williams has been here both these Days as usual but is very indifferently
received still by Mrs Jewkes and to avoid Suspicion I left them together
and went up to my Closet most of the Time he was here He and she I found by
her had a Quarrel and she seems quite out of Humour with him but I thought it
best not to say any thing. And he said he would very little trouble the House
till he had an Answer to his Letter from the Squire And she returnd The
less the better Poor Man he has got but little by his Openness and making
Mrs Jewkes his Confident as she bragged and would have had me to do likewise
I am more and more satisfied there is Mischief brewing and shall begin to hide
my Papers and be circumspect She seems mighty impatient for an Answer to her
Letter to my Master
Monday Tuesday the 25th and 26th Days of my heavy Restraint
Still more and more strange things to write A Messenger is returnd and now
all is out O wretched wretched Pamela What at last will become of me
Such strange Turns and Trials sure never poor Creature of my Years experienced
He brought two Letters one to Mrs Jewkes and one to me But as the greatest
Wits may be sometimes mistaken they being folded and sealed alike that for me
was directed to Mrs Jewkes and that for her was directed to me But both are
stark naught abominably bad She brought me up that directed for me and said
Heres a Letter for you Long lookdfor is come at last I will ask the
Messenger a few Questions and then I will read mine So she went down and I
broke it open in my Closet and found it directed To Mrs PAMELA ANDREWS But
when I opend it it began Mrs Jewkes I was quite confounded but thinks I
this may be a lucky Mistake I may discover something And so I read on these
horrid Contents
»Mrs Jewkes
What you write me has given me no small Disturbance This wretched
Fools Plaything no doubt is ready to leap at any thing that offers
rather than express the least Sense of Gratitude for all the Benefits
she has received from my Family and which I was determined more and
more to heap upon her I reserve her for my future Resentment and I
charge you double your Diligence in watching her to prevent her Escape
I send this by an honest Swiss who attended me in my Travels a Man I
can trust and so let him be your Assistant For the artful Creature is
enough to corrupt a Nation by her seeming Innocence and Simplicity and
she may have got a Party perhaps among my Servants with you as she
has here Even John Arnold whom I confided in and favourd more than
any has proved an execrable Villain and shall meet his Reward for it
As to that College Novice Williams I need not bid you take care he
sees not this painted Bauble for I have orderd Mr Shorter my
Attorney to throw him instantly into Gaol on an Action of Debt for
Money he has had of me which I had intended never to carry to account
against him for I know all his rascally Practices besides what you
write me of his perfidious Intrigue with that Girl and his acknowledged
Contrivances for her Escape when he knew not for certain that I
designd her any Mischief and when if he had been guided by a Sense of
Piety or Compassion for injured Innocence as he pretends he would
have expostulated with me as his Function and my Friendship for him
might have allowd him But to enter into a vile Intrigue charmd like
a godly Sensualist with the amiable Gewgaw to favour her Escape in so
base a manner to say nothing of his disgraceful Practices against me
in Sir Simon Darnfords Family of which Sir Simon himself has informd
me is a Conduct that instead of preferring the ingrateful Wretch as I
had intended shall pull down upon him utter Ruin
Monsieur Colbrand my trusty Swiss will obey you without Reserve
if my other Servants refuse
As for her denying that she encouraged his Declaration I believe it
not Tis certain the speaking Picture with all that pretended
Innocence and Softness of Heart would have run away with him Yes she
would have run away with a Fellow that she had been acquainted with and
that not intimately if you was as careful as you ought to be but few
Days at a time when she had the strongest Assurances of my Honour to
her
Well I think I now hate her perfectly and tho I will do nothing
to her myself yet I can bear for the sake of my Revenge and my
injurd Honour and slighted Love to see any thing, even what she most
fears be done to her and then she may be turned loose to her evil
Destiny and echo to the Woods and Groves her piteous Lamentations for
the Loss of her fantastical Innocence which the romantick Idiot makes
such a work about I shall go to London with my Sister Davers and the
Moment I can disengage myself which perhaps may be in three Weeks from
this time I will be with you and decide her Fate and put an End to
your Trouble Mean time be doubly careful for this Innocent as I have
warnd you is full of Contrivances I am
Your Friend«
I had but just read this dreadful Letter thro when Mrs Jewkes came up in a
great Fright guessing at the Mistake and that I had her Letter and she found
me with it open in my Hand just sinking away What Business said she had you
to read my Letter and snatchd it from me You see said she looking upon it
it says Mrs Jewkes at top You ought in Manners to have read no further O
add not said I to my Afflictions I shall be soon out of all your ways This
is too much too much I never can support this and threw myself upon the
Couch in my Closet and wept most bitterly She read it in the next Room and
came in again afterwards Why this said she is a sad Letter indeed I am sorry
for it But I feard you would carry your Niceties too far Leave me dear
Mrs Jewkes said I for awhile I cannot speak nor talk Poor Heart said
she well Ill come up again presently and hope to find you better But here
take your own Letter I wish you well but this is a sad Mistake And so she
laid down by me that that was intended for me But I had no Spirit to read it
presently O Man Man hardhearted cruel Man what Mischiefs art thou not
capable of unrelenting Persecutor as thou art
I sat ruminating when I had a little come to myself upon the Terms of this
wicked Letter and had no Inclination to look into my own The bad Names Fools
Plaything artful Creature painted Bauble Gewgaw speaking Picture are hard
things for your poor Pamela and I began to think whether I was not indeed a
very naughty Body and had not done vile Things But when I thought of his
having discoverd poor John and of Sir Simons base Officiousness in telling
him of poor Mr Williams with what he had resolved against him in Revenge for
his Goodness to me I was quite mortified and yet still more about that
fearful Colbrand and what he could see done to me for then I was ready to gasp
for Breath and my Spirits quite failed me Then how dreadful are the Words
that he will decide my Fate in three Weeks Gracious Heaven said I strike me
dead before that time with a Thunderbolt or provide some way for my escaping
these threatend Mischiefs God forgive me if I sinned
At last I took up the Letter directed for Mrs Jewkes but designed for me
and I find that little better than the other These are the hard Terms it
contains
»Well have you done perverse forward artful yet foolish Pamela to
convince me before it was too late how ill I had done to place my
Affections on so unworthy an Object. I had vowd Honour and Love to your
Unworthiness believing you a Mirror of bashful Modesty and unspotted
Innocence and that no perfidious Designs lurked in so fair a Bosom But
now I have found you out you specious Hypocrite and see that tho you
could not repose the least Confidence in one you had known for Years
and who under my good Mothers misplaced Favour for you had grown up
in a manner with you when my Passion in spite of my Pride and the
Difference of our Condition made me stoop to a Meanness that now I
despise myself for yet you could enter into an Intrigue with a Man you
never knew till within these few Days past and resolve to run away
with a Stranger whom your fair Face and insinuating Arts had
bewitched to break thro all the Ties of Honour and Gratitude to me
even at a Time when the Happiness of his future Life depended upon my
Favour
Henceforth for Pamelas sake whenever I see a lovely Face will I
mistrust a deceitful Heart And whenever I hear of the greatest
Pretences to Innocence will I suspect some deeplaid Mischief You were
determind to place no Confidence in me tho I have solemnly over and
over engaged my Honour to you What tho I had alarmd your Fears in
sending you one way when you hoped to go another yet had I not to
convince you of my Resolution to do justly by you altho with infinite
Reluctance such then was my Love for you engaged not to come near you
without your own Consent Was not this a voluntary Demonstration of the
Generosity of my Intentions to you Yet how have you requited me The
very first Fellow that your charming Face and insinuating Address
could influence you have practisd upon corrupted too I may say and
even ruind as the ingrateful Wretch shall find and thrown your
forward Self upon him As therefore you would place no Confidence in me
my Honour owes you nothing and in a little time you shall find how much
you have errd in treating as you have done a Man who was once
Your affectionate and kind Friend
Mrs Jewkes has Directions concerning you and if your Lot is now harder
than you might wish you will bear it the easier because your own rash
Folly has brought it upon you«
Alas for me what a Fate is mine to be thus thought artful and forward and
ingrateful when all I intended was to preserve my Innocence and when all the
poor little Shifts which his superior wicked Wit and Cunning have renderd
ineffectual were forced upon me in my own necessary Defence
Mrs Jewkes came up to me again and found me bathed in Tears She seemed as I
thought to be moved to some Compassion and finding myself now intirely in her
Power and that it is not for me to provoke her I said It is now I see in
vain for me to contend against my evil Destiny and the superior Arts of my
barbarous Master I will resign myself to Gods Will and prepare to expect the
worst But you see how this poor Mr Williams is drawn in and undone I am sorry
I am made the Cause of his Ruin Poor poor Man to be taken in thus and
for my sake too But if youll believe me said I I gave no Encouragement to
what he proposed as to Marriage nor would he have proposed it I believe but
as the only honourable way he thought was left to save me And his principal
Motive to it all was Virtue and Compassion to one in Distress What other View
could he have You know I am poor and friendless All I beg of you is to let
the poor Gentleman have Notice of my Masters Resentment and let him flee the
Country and not be thrown into Gaol This will answer my Masters End as well
for it will as effectually hinder him from assisting me as if he was in a
Prison
Ask me said she to do any thing that is in my Power consistent with my
Duty and Trust and I will do it for I am sorry for you both But to be sure
I shall keep no Correspondence with him nor let you I offerd to talk of a
Duty superior to that she talked of which would oblige her to help distressed
Innocence and not permit her to go the Lengths injoind by lawless Tyranny but
she plainly bid me be silent on that Head for it was in vain to attempt to
persuade her to betray her Trust All I have to advise you said she is to be
easy lay aside all your Contrivances and Arts to get away and make me your
Friend by giving me no Reason to suspect you for said she I glory in my
Fidelity to my Master And you have both practised some strange sly Arts to
make such a Progress as he has ownd there was between you so seldom as I
thought you saw one another; that I must be more circumspect than I have been
This doubled my Concern for I now apprehended I should be much closer
watchd than before
Well said I since I have by this strange Accident discoverd my hard
Destiny let me read over again that fearful Letter of yours that I may get it
by heart and feed my Distress upon it for now I have nothing else to think of
and must familiarize myself to Calamity Then said she let me read yours
again I gave her mine and she lent me hers and so I took a Copy of it with
her Leave because as I said I would by it prepare myself for the worst And
when I had done I pinnd it on the Head of the Couch This said I is the Use
I shall make of this wretched Copy of your Letter and here you shall always
find it wet with my Tears
She said She would go down to order Supper and insisted upon my Company to
it I would have excused myself but she begun to put on a commanding Air that
I durst not oppose And when I went down she took me by the Hand and presented
me to the most hideous Monster I ever saw in my Life Here Monsieur Colbrand
said she here is your pretty Ward and mine let us try to make her Time with us
easy He bowd and put on his foreign Grimaces and seemd to bless himself
and in broken English told me I was happy in de Affections of de vinest
Gentleman in de Varld I was quite frightend and ready to drop down and I
will describe him to you my dear Father and Mother if now you will ever see
this and you shall judge if I had not Reason especially not knowing he was to
be there and being apprizd as I was of his hated Employment to watch me
closer
He is a Giant of a Man for Stature taller by a good deal than Harry
Mawlidge in your Neighbourhood and largebond and scraggly and a Hand I
never saw such an one in my Life He has great staring Eyes like the Bulls
that frightend me so Vast Jawbones sticking out Eyebrows hanging over his
Eyes two great Scars upon his Forehead and one on his left Cheek and two huge
Whiskers and a monstrous wide Mouth blubber Lips long yellow Teeth and a
hideous Grin He wears his own frightful long Hair tyd up in a great black
Bag a black Crape Neckcloth about a long ugly Neck and his Throat sticking
out like a Wen As to the rest he was drest well enough and had a Sword on
with a nasty red Knot to it Leather Garters buckled below his Knees and a
Foot near as long as my Arm I verily think
He said He fright de Lady and offerd to withdraw but she bid him not
and I told Mrs Jewkes That as she knew I had been crying she should not have
called me to the Gentleman without letting me know he was there I soon went up
to my Closet for my Heart aked all the time I was at Table not being able to
look upon him without Horror and this Brute of a Woman tho she saw my
Distress before this Addition to it no doubt did it on purpose to strike me
more into Terror And indeed it had its Effect for when I went tobed I could
think of nothing but his hideous Person and my Masters more hideous Actions
and thought them too well paird and when I dropt asleep I dreamd they were
both coming to my Bedside with the worst Designs and I jumpd out of Bed in
my Sleep and frighted Mrs Jewkes till waking with the Terror I told her my
Dream And the wicked Creature only laughed and said All I feard was but a
Dream as well as that and when it was over and I was well awake I should
laugh at it as such
And now I am come to the Close of Wednesday the 27th Day of my Distress
Poor Mr Williams is actually arrested and carried away to Stamford So there
is an End of all my Hopes in him Poor Gentleman his Oversecurity and
Openness have ruind us both I was but too well convinced that we ought not
to have lost a Moments time but he was half angry and thought me too
impatient and then his fatal Confessions and the detestable Artifice of my
Master But one might well think that he who had so cunningly and so
wickedly contrived all his Stratagems hitherto that it was impossible to avoid
them would stick at nothing to complete them I fear I shall soon find it so
But one Stratagem I have just invented tho a very discouraging one to
think of because I have neither Friends nor Money nor know one Step of the
Way if I was out of the House But let Bulls and Bears and Lions and Tygers
and what is worse false treacherous deceitful Men stand in my Way I cannot
be in more Danger than I am and I depend nothing upon his three Weeks For how
do I know now he is in such a Passion and has already begun his Vengeance on
poor Mr Williams that he will not change his Mind and come down to
Lincolnshire before he goes to London
My Stratagem is this I will endeavour to get Mrs Jewkes tobed without me
as she often does while I sit lockd up in my Closet and as she sleeps very
sound in her first Sleep of which she never fails to give Notice by snoring if
I can then but get out between the two Bars of the Window for you know I am
very slender and I find I can get my Head thro then I can drop upon the Leads
underneath which are little more than my Height and which Leads are over a
little Summerparlour that juts out towards the Garden and which as I am
light I can easily drop from for they are not high from the Ground Then I
shall get into the Garden and then as I have the Key of the Backdoor I will
get out But I have another Piece of Cunning still good Heaven succeed to me
my dangerous but innocent Devices I have read of a great Captain who being
in Danger leaped overboard into the Sea and his Enemies shooting at him with
Bows and Arrows he got off his upper Garment and swam away while they stuck
that full of their Darts and Arrows and he escaped and triumphed over them
all So what will I do but strip off my upper Petticoat and throw it into the
Pond with my Neckhandkerchief for to be sure when they miss me they will
go to the Pond first thinking I have drowned myself and so when they see some
of my Cloaths floating there they will be all employd in dragging the Pond
which is a very large one and as I shall not perhaps be missd till the
Morning this will give me Opportunity to get a great way off and I am sure I
will run for it when I am out And so I trust that God will direct my Steps to
some good Place of Safety and make some worthy Body my Friend for sure if I
suffer ever so I cannot be in more Danger nor in worse Hands than where I am
and with such avowd bad Designs
O my dear Parents dont be frighted when you come to read this But all will
be over before you can see it and so God direct me for the best My Writings
for fear I should not escape I will bury in the Garden for to be sure I
shall be searchd and used dreadfully if I cant get off And so I will close
here for the present to prepare for my Plot Prosper thou O gracious
Protector of oppressed Innocence this last Effort of thy poor Handmaid that I
may escape the crafty Devices and Snares that have already begun to entangle my
Virtue and from which but by this one Trial I see no way of escaping And Oh
whatever becomes of me bless my dear Parents and protect poor Mr Williams
from Ruin for he was happy before he knew me
Just now just now I heard Mrs Jewkes who is in her Cups own to the horrid
Colbrand that the robbing of poor Mr Williams was a Contrivance of hers and
executed by the Groom and a Helper in order to seize my Letters upon him which
they missd They are now both laughing at the dismal Story which they little
think I heard O how my Heart akes for what are not such Wretches capable of
Can you blame me for endeavouring thro any Danger to get out of such
Clutches
Past Eleven oClock
Mrs Jewkes is come up and gone tobed and bids me not stay long in my Closet
but come tobed O for a dead Sleep for the treacherous Brute I never saw her
so tipsy and that gives me Hopes I have tryd again and find I can get my
Head thro the Iron Bars I am now all prepared as soon as I hear her fast and
now Ill seal up these and my other Papers my last Work And to thy Providence
O my gracious God commit the rest Once more God bless you both and send us
a happy Meeting if not here in his heavenly Kingdom Amen
Thursday Friday Saturday Sunday the 28th 29th 30th and 31st Days of my
Distress
And Distress indeed For here I am still And every thing has been worse and
worse Oh the poor unhappy Pamela Without any Resource left and ruind in
all my Contrivances But Oh my dear Parents rejoice with me even in this low
Plunge of my Distress for your poor Pamela has escapd from an Enemy worse than
any she ever met with an Enemy she never thought of before and was hardly able
to stand against I mean the Weakness and Presumption both in one of her own
Mind which had well nigh had not divine Grace interposed sunk her into the
lowest last Abyss of Misery and Perdition I will proceed as I have
Opportunity with my sad Relation For my Pen and Ink in my now doubly securd
Closet is all that I have besides my own Weakness of Body to employ myself
with And till yesterday Evening I have not been able to hold a Pen
I took with me but one Shift besides what I had on and two Handkerchiefs and
two Caps which my Pocket held for it was not for me to incumber myself and
all my Stock of Money which was but five or six Shillings to set out for I
knew not where and got out of the Window not without some Difficulty sticking
a little at my Shoulders and Hips but I was resolvd to get out if possible
And it was further from the Leads than I thought and I was afraid I had
spraind my Ancle and when I had dropt from the Leads to the Ground it was
still further off but I did pretty well there at least I got no Hurt to
hinder me from pursuing my Intentions So being now on the Ground I hid my
Papers under a Rosebush and coverd them over with Mould and there they still
lie as I hope Then I hyd away to the Pond The Clock struck Twelve just as I
got out and it was a dark misty Night and coldish but I felt none then
When I came to the Pondside I flung in my Uppercoat as I had designd
and my Neckhandkerchief and a roundeard Cap with a Knot and then with
great Speed ran to the Door and took the Key out of my Pocket my poor Heart
beating all the Time against my Bosom as if it would have forcd its way out
And beat it well might For I then too late found that I was most miserably
disappointed for the wicked Woman had taken off that Lock and put another on
so that my Key would not open it I tryd and tryd and feeling about I found
a Padlock besides on another Part of the Door O then how my Heart sunk I
dropt down with Grief and Confusion unable to stir or support myself for a
while But my Fears awakening my Resolution and knowing that my Attempt would
be as terrible for me as any other Danger I could then encounter I clamberd
up upon the Ledges of the Door and the Lock which was a great wooden one
reaching the Top of the Door with my Hands and little thinking I could climb so
well made shift to lay hold on the Top of the Wall with my Hands but alas for
me nothing but ill Luck no Escape for poor Pamela The Wall being old the
Bricks I held by gave way just as I was taking a Spring to get up and down
came I and received such a Blow upon my Head with one of the Bricks that it
quite stunnd me and I broke my Shins and my Ancle besides and beat off the
Heel of one of my Shoes
In this dreadful way flat upon the Ground lay poor I for I believe five
or six Minutes and when I would have got up I could hardly stand for I found
I had bruisd my left Hip and Shoulder and was full of Pain with it and
besides my Head bled and akd with the Blow I had with the Brick Yet this I
valued not but crawld a good way upon my Feet and Hands in Search of a
Ladder I just recollected to have seen against the Wall two Days before on
which the Gardener was nailing a Nectarine Branch that was blown off from the
Wall But no Ladder could I find and the Wall was very high What now thinks
I must become of the poor miserable Pamela Then I began to wish myself most
heartily again in my Closet and to repent of my Attempt which I now censurd
as rash because it did not succeed
God forgive me but a sad Thought came just then into my Head I tremble to
think of it Indeed my Apprehensions of the Usage I should meet with had like
to have made me miserable for ever O my dear dear Parents forgive your poor
Child but being then quite desperate I crept along till I could get up on my
Feet tho I could hardly stand and away limpd I What to do but to throw
myself into the Pond and so put a Period to all my Griefs in this World But
Oh to find them infinitely aggravated had I not by Gods Grace been
withheld in a miserable Eternity As I have escapd this Temptation blessed
be God for it I will tell you my Conflicts on this dreadful Occasion that
Gods Mercies may be magnifyd in my Deliverance that I am yet on this Side the
dreadful Gulph from which there can be no Redemption
It was well for me as I have since thought that I was so maimd as made
me the longer before I got to the Water for this gave me some Reflection and
abated that Liveliness of my Passions which possibly might otherwise have
hurryd me in my first Transport of Grief on my seeing no way to escape and
the hard Usage I had Reason to expect from my dreadful Keepers to throw myself
in without Consideration but my Weakness of Body made me move so slowly that
it gave Time for a little Reflection a Ray of Grace to dart in upon my
benighted Mind and so when I came to the Pondside I sat myself down on the
sloping Bank and began to ponder my wretched Condition And thus I reasond
with myself
Pause here a little Pamela on what thou art about before thou takest the
dreadful Leap and consider whether there be no Way yet left no Hope if not to
escape from this wicked House yet from the Mischiefs threatened thee in it
I then considerd and after I had cast about in my Mind every thing that
could make me hope and saw no Probability a wicked Woman devoid of all
Compassion a horrid Helper just arrivd in this dreadful Colbrand an angry and
resenting Master who now hated me and threatend the most afflicting Evils
and that I should in all Probability be deprivd even of the Opportunity I
now had before me to free myself from all their Persecutions What hast thou
to do distressed Creature said I to myself but throw thyself upon a merciful
God who knows how innocently I suffer to avoid the merciless Wickedness of
those who are determind on my Ruin
And then thought I and Oh that Thought was surely of the Devils
Instigation for it was very soothing and powerful with me these wicked
Wretches who now have no Remorse no Pity on me will then be movd to lament
their Misdoings and when they see the dead Corpse of the unhappy Pamela draggd
out to these slopy Banks and lying breathless at their Feet they will find
that Remorse to wring their obdurate Hearts which now has no Place there
And my Master my angry Master will then forget his Resentments and say O
this is the unhappy Pamela that I have so causelesly persecuted and destroyd
Now do I see she preferrd her Honesty to her Life will he say and is no
Hypocrite nor Deceiver but really was the innocent Creature she pretended to
be Then thinks I will he perhaps shed a few Tears over the poor Corse of
his persecuted Servant and tho he may give out it was Love and
Disappointment and that too in order to hide his own Guilt for the
unfortunate Mr Williams perhaps yet will he be inwardly grievd and order me
a decent Funeral and save me or rather this Part of me from the dreadful
Stake and the Highway Interrment and the young Men and Maidens all around my
dear Fathers will pity poor Pamela but O I hope I shall not be the Subject
of their Ballads and Elegies but that my Memory for the sake of my dear Father
and Mother may quickly slide into Oblivion
I was once rising so indulgent was I to this sad way of thinking to throw
myself in But again my Bruises made me slow and I thought What art thou
about to do wretched Pamela how knowest thou tho the Prospect be all dark to
thy shortsighted Eye what God may do for thee even when all human Means fail
God Almighty would not lay me under these sore Afflictions if he had not given
me Strength to grapple with them if I will exert it as I ought And who knows
but that the very Presence I so much dread of my angry and designing Master
for he has had me in his Power before and yet I have escapd may be better
for me than these persecuting Emissaries of his who for his Money are true
to their wicked Trust and are hardend by that and a long Habit of Wickedness
against Compunction of Heart God can touch his Heart in an instant and if this
should not be done I can then but put an End to my Life by some other Means
if I am so resolved
But how do I know thought I that even these Bruises and Maims that I have
gotten while I pursud only the laudable Escape I had meditated may not kindly
furnish me with the Opportunity I now am tempted to precipitate myself upon and
of surrendering up my Life spotless and unguilty to that merciful Being who
gave it
Then thought I who gave thee presumptuous as thou art a Power over thy Life
Who authorizd thee to put an End to it when the Weakness of thy Mind suggests
not to thee a Way to preserve it with Honour How knowest thou what Purposes God
may have to serve by the Trials with which thou art now tempted Art thou to
put a Bound to Gods Will and to say Thus much will I bear and no more And
wilt thou dare to say that if the Trial be augmented and continued thou wilt
sooner die than bear it
This Act of Despondency thought I is a Sin that if I pursue it admits
of no Repentance and can therefore claim no Forgiveness And wilt thou for
shortening thy transitory Griefs heavy as they are and weak as thou fanciest
thyself plunge both Body and Soul into everlasting Misery Hitherto Pamela
thought I thou art the innocent the suffering Pamela and wilt thou be the
guilty Aggressor and because wicked Men persecute thee wilt thou fly in the
Face of the Almighty and bid Defiance to his Grace and Goodness who can still
turn all these Sufferings to thy Benefits And how do I know but that God who
sees all the lurking Vileness of my Heart may not have permitted these
Sufferings on that very Score and to make me rely solely on his Grace and
Assistance who perhaps have too much prided myself in a vain Dependence on my
own foolish Contrivances Then again thought I wilt thou suffer in one Moment
all the good Lessons of thy poor honest Parents and the Benefit of their
Example who have persisted in doing their Duty with Resignation to the Divine
Will amidst the extremest Degrees of Disappointment Poverty and Distress and
the Persecutions of an ingrateful World and merciless Creditors to be thrown
away upon thee and bring down as in all Probability this thy Rashness will
their grey Hairs with Sorrow to the Grave when they shall understand that their
beloved Daughter slighting the Tenders of Divine Grace desponding in the
Mercies of a gracious God has blemishd in this last Act a whole Life which
they had hitherto approvd and delighted in
What then presumptuous Pamela dost thou here thought I Quit with Speed
these guilty Banks and flee from these dashing Waters that even in their
sounding Murmurs this still Night reproach thy Rashness Tempt not Gods
Goodness on the mossy Banks that have been Witnesses of thy guilty Intentions
and while thou hast Power left thee avoid the tempting Evil lest thy grand
Enemy now repulsd by Divine Grace and due Reflection return to the Charge
with a Force that thy Weakness may not be able to resist And lest one rash
Moment destroy all the Convictions which now have awd thy rebellious Mind into
Duty and Resignation to the Divine Will
And so saying I arose but was so stiff with my Hurts so cold with the
moist Dew of the Night and the wet Banks on which I had sat as also the Damps
arising from so large a Piece of Water that with great Pain I got from the
Banks of this Pond which now I think of with Terror and bending my limping
Steps towards the House refugd myself in the Corner of an Outhouse where
Wood and Coals are laid up for Family Use till I should be found by my cruel
Keepers and consignd to a wretched Confinement and worse Usage than I had
hitherto experiencd and there behind a Pile of Firewood I crept and lay
down as you may imagine with a Mind just broken and a Heart sensible to
nothing but the extremest Woe and Dejection
This my dear Father and Mother is the Issue of your poor Pamelas fruitless
Enterprize and God knows if I had got out at the Backdoor whether I had been
at all in better Case moneyless friendless as I am and in a strange Place
But blame not your poor Daughter too much Nay if ever you see this miserable
Scribble all bathed and blotted with my Tears let your Pity get the better of
your Blame But I know it will And I must leave off for the present For
Oh my Strength and my Will are at present very far unequal to one another.
But yet I will add that tho I should have praisd God for my Deliverance had
I been freed from my wicked Keepers and my designing Master yet I have more
abundant Reason to praise God that I have been deliverd from a worse Enemy
myself
I will continue my sad Relation
It seems Mrs Jewkes awaked not till Daybreak and not finding me in Bed she
calld me and no Answer being returnd she relates that she got out of Bed
and run to my Closet and not finding me searched under the Bed and in another
Closet finding the Chamberdoor as she had left it quite fast and the Key as
usual about her Wrist For if I could have got out at the Chamberdoor there
were two or three Passages and Doors to them all double lockd and barrd to
go thro into the great Garden so that if I would escape there was no Way but
that of the Window and that very Window because of the Summerparlour under
it for the other Windows were a great way from the Ground
She says she was excessively frighted and instantly raisd the Swiss and
the two Maids who lay not far off and finding every Door fast she said I
must be carryd away as St Peter was out of Prison by some Angel It is a
Wonder she had not a worse Thought
She says she wept and wrung her Hands and took on sadly running about
like a mad Woman little thinking I could have got out of the Closet Window
between the Iron Bars and indeed I dont know if I could do so again But at
last finding that Casement open they concluded it must be so and so they ran
out into the Garden and found it seems my Footsteps in the Mould of the Bed
which I dropt down upon from the Leads And so speeded away all of them that
is to say Mrs Jewkes Colbrand and Nan towards the Backdoor to see if that
was fast while the Cook was sent to the Outoffices to raise the Men and make
them get Horses ready to take each a several way to pursue me
But it seems that finding that Door doublelockd and padlockd and the
Heel of my Shoe and the broken Bricks they verily concluded I was got away by
some Means over the Wall and then they say Mrs Jewkes seemd like a
distracted Woman Till at last Nan had the Thought to go towards the Pond and
there seeing my Coat and Cap and Handkerchief in the Water cast almost to the
Banks by the dashing of the Waves she thought it was me and screaming out run
to Mrs Jewkes and said O Madam Madam heres a piteous Thing Mrs Pamela
lies drownd in the Pond Thither they all ran and finding my Cloaths
doubted not I was at the Bottom and they all Swiss among the rest beat their
Breasts and made most dismal Lamentations and Mrs Jewkes sent Nan to the Men
to bid them get the Dragnet ready and leave the Horses and come to try to
find the poor Innocent as she it seems then calld me beating her Breast
and lamenting my hard Hap but most what would become of them and what Account
they should give to my Master
While every one was thus differently employd some weeping and wailing
some running here and there Nan came into the Woodhouse and there lay poor I
so weak so low and dejected and withal so stiff with my Bruises that I could
not stir nor help myself to get upon my Feet And I said with a low Voice for
I could hardly speak Mrs Ann Mrs Ann The Creature was sadly frighted but
was taking up a Billet to knock me on the Head believing I was some Thief as
she said but I cryd out O Mrs Ann Mrs Ann help me for Pitys sake to
Mrs Jewkes for I cannot get up Bless me said she what you Madam Why
our Hearts are almost broke and we were going to drag the Pond for you
believing you had drownd yourself Now said she youll make us all alive
again
And without helping me she run away to the Pond and brought all the Crew
to the Woodhouse The wicked Woman as she entered said Where is she
Plague of her Spells and her Witchcrafts She shall dearly repent of this
Trick if my Name be Jewkes and coming to me took hold of my Arm so roughly
and gave me such a Pull as made me squeal out my Shoulder being bruisd on
that Side and drew me on my Face O cruel Creature said I if you knew what I
had sufferd it would move you to pity me
Even Colbrand seemd to be concernd and said Fie Madam fie you see she
is almost dead You must not be so rough with her The Coachman Robin seemd to
be sorry for me too and said with Sobs What a Scene is here Dont you see
she is all bloody in her Head and cannot stir Curse of her Contrivances
said the horrid Creature she has frighted me out of my Wits Im sure How the
D l came you here O said I ask me now no Questions but let the Maids
carry me up to my Prison and there let me die decently and in Peace For
indeed I thought I could not live two Hours
The still more inhuman Tygress said I suppose you want Mr Williams to pray
by you dont you Well Ill send for my Master this Minute let him come and
watch you himself for me for theres no such thing as holding you Im sure
So the Maids took me up between them and carryd me to my Chamber and when
the Wretch saw how bad I was she began a little to relent while every one
wonderd at what I had neither Strength nor Inclination to tell them how all
this came to pass which they imputed to Sorcery and Witchcraft
I was so weak when I had got up Stairs that I fainted away with
Dejection Pain and Fatigue and they undressd me and got me to Bed and Mrs
Jewkes orderd Nan to bathe my Shoulder and Arm and Ancle with some old Rum
warmd and they cut the Hair a little from the back Part of my Head and washd
that for it was clotted with Blood from a pretty long but not deep Gash and
put a Family Plaister upon it for if this Woman has any good Quality it is it
seems in a Readiness and Skill to manage in Cases where sudden Misfortunes
happen in a Family
After this I fell into a pretty sound and refreshing Sleep and lay till
Twelve oClock tolerably easy considering I was very feverish and aguishly
inclind and she took a good deal of Care to fit me to undergo more Trials
which I had hopd would have been more happily ended But Providence did not see
fit
She would make me rise about Twelve but I was so weak I could only sit up
till the Bed was made and went into it again and was as they said delirious
some Part of the Afternoon But having a tolerable Night on Thursday I was a
good deal better on Friday and on Saturday got up and eat a little Spoonmeat
and my Feverishness seemd to be gone and I was so pickd up by Evening that I
beggd her Indulgence in my Closet to be left to myself which she consented
to it being doublebarrd the Day before and I assuring her that all my
Contrivances as she calld them were at an End But first she made me tell her
the whole Story of my Enterprize which I did very faithfully knowing now that
nothing could stand me in any stead or contribute to my Safety and Escape And
she seemd full of Wonder at my Resolution and Venturesomeness but told me
frankly that I should have found a hard Matter to get quite off for that she
was provided with a Warrant from my Master who is a Justice of Peace in this
County as well as the other to get me apprehended if I had got away on
Suspicion of wronging him let me have been where I would
O how deeplaid are the Mischiefs designed to fall on my devoted Head
Surely surely I cannot be worthy all this Contrivance This too well shews
me the Truth of what was hinted to me formerly at the other House that my
Master swore he would have me O preserve me Heaven from being his in his own
wicked Sense of the Adjuration
I must add that now this Woman sees me pick up so fast she uses me worse
and has abridgd me of Paper all but one Sheet which I am to shew her written
or unwritten on Demand and has reducd me to one Pen yet my hidden Stores
stand me in stead But she is more and more snappish and cross and tauntingly
calls me Mrs Williams and any thing that she thinks will vex me
Sunday Afternoon
Mrs Jewkes has thought fit to give me an Airing for three or four Hours this
Afternoon and I am much better and should be much more so if I knew for what
I am reservd But Health is a Blessing hardly to be coveted in my
Circumstances since that fits me for the Calamity I am in continual
Apprehensions of whereas a weak and sickly State might possibly move Compassion
for me O how I dread the coming of this angry and incensed Master tho I am
sure I have done him no Harm
Just now we heard that he had like to have been drownd in crossing a
Stream a few Days ago in pursuing his Game What is the Matter with all his
ill Usage of me that I cannot hate him To be sure I am not like other People
I am sure he has done enough to make me hate him but yet when I heard his
Danger which was very great I could not in my Heart forbear rejoicing for his
Safety tho his Death would have ended my Afflictions Ungenerous Master if
you knew this you surely would not be so much my Persecutor But for my late
good Ladys sake I must wish him well and O what an Angel would he be in my
Eyes yet if he would cease his Attempts and reform
Well I hear by Mrs Jewkes that John Arnold is turnd away being detected in
writing to Mr Williams and that Mr Longman and Mr Jonathan the Butler have
incurrd his Displeasure for offering to speak in my Behalf Mrs Jervis too is
in Danger for all these three belike went together to beg in my Favour for
now it is known where I am
Mrs Jewkes has with the News about my Master receivd a Letter but she
says the Contents are too bad for me to know They must be bad indeed if they
be worse than what I have already known
Just now the horrid Creature tells me as a Secret that she has reason to
think he has found out a Way to satisfy my Scruples It is by marrying me to
this dreadful Colbrand and buying me of him on the Weddingday for a Sum of
Money Was ever the like heard She says that it will be my Duty to obey my
Husband and that Mr Williams will be forcd as a Punishment to marry us and
that when my Master has paid for me and I am surrenderd up the Swiss is to go
home again with the Money to his former Wife and Children for she says it is
the Custom of those People to have a Wife in every Nation
But this to be sure is horrid romancing but abominable as it is it may
possibly serve to introduce some Plot now hatching With what strange
Perplexities is my poor Mind agitated Perchance some Shammarriage may be
designd on purpose to ruin me But can a Husband sell his Wife against her
own Consent And will such a Bargain stand good in Law
Monday Tuesday Wednesday the 32d 33d and 34th Days of my Imprisonment
Nothing offers these Days but Squabblings between Mrs Jewkes and me She grows
worse and worse to me I vexed her yesterday because she talked nastily and
told her she talkd more like a vile London Prostitute than a Gentlemans
Housekeeper and she cannot use me bad enough for it Bless me she curses and
storms at me like a Trooper and can hardly keep her Hands off me You may
believe she must talk sadly to make me say such harsh Words Indeed it cannot be
repeated and she is a Disgrace to her Sex And then she ridicules me and
laughs at my Notions of Honesty and tells me impudent Creature that she is
what a fine Bedfellow I shall make for my Master and suchlike with such
whimsical Notions about me Do you think this is to be borne And yet she
talks worse than this if possible Quite filthily O what vile Hands am I put
into
Thursday
I Have now all the Reason that can be to apprehend my Master will be here soon
for the Servants are all busy in setting the House to rights and a Stable and
Coachhouse are cleaning out that have not been usd some time I ask Mrs
Jewkes but she tells me nothing nor will hardly answer me when I ask her a
Question Sometimes I think she puts on these strange wicked Airs to me
purposely to make me wish for what I dread most of all Things my Masters
coming down He talk of Love If he had any the least Notion of Regard for me
to be sure he would not give this naughty Body such Power over me And if he
does come where is his Promise of not seeing me without I consent to it But it
seems His Honour owes me nothing So he tells me in his Letter and why Because
I am willing to keep mine But indeed he says he hates me perfectly and it
is plain he does or I should not be left to the Mercy of this Woman and what
is worse to my woful Apprehensions
Friday the 36th Day of my Imprisonment
I Took the Liberty yesterday Afternoon finding the Gates open to walk out
before the House and before I was aware had got to the Bottom of the long Row
of Elms and there I sat myself down upon the Steps of a sort of broad Stile
which leads into the Road that goes towards the Town And as I sat musing about
what always busies my Mind I saw a whole Body of Folks running towards me from
the House Men and Women as in a Fright At first I wonderd what was the
Matter till they came nearer and I found they were all alarmd thinking I had
attempted to get off There was first the horrible Colbrand running with his
long Legs well nigh two Yards at a Stride then there was one of the Grooms
poor Mr Williamss Robber then I spyd Nan half out of Breath and the
Cookmaid after her and lastly came waddling as fast as she could Mrs
Jewkes exclaiming most bitterly as I found against me Colbrand said O how
have you frighted us all And went behind me lest I should run away as I
suppose
I sat still to let them see I had no View to get away for besides the
Improbability of succeeding my last sad Attempt had curd me of enterprizing
again And when Mrs Jewkes came within hearing I found her terribly incensd
and raving about my Contrivances Why said I should you be so concerned Here
I have sat a few Minutes and had not the least Thought of getting away or
going further but to return as soon as it was duskish She would not believe
me and the barbarous Creature struck at me with her horrid Fist and I
believe would have felled me had not Colbrand interposed and said He saw me
sitting still looking about me and not seeming to have the least Inclination
to stir But this would not serve She orderd the two Maids to take me each by
an Arm and lead me back into the House and up Stairs and there have I been
locked up ever since without Shoes In vain have I pleaded that I had no
Design as indeed I had not the least and last Night I was forced to lie
between her and Nan and I find she is resolved to make a Handle of this against
me and in her own Behalf Indeed what with her Usage and my own
Apprehensions of still worse I am quite weary of my Life
Just now she has been with me and given me my Shoes and has laid her imperious
Commands upon me to dress myself in a Suit of Cloaths out of the Portmanteau
which I have not seen lately against three or four oClock for she says she
is to have a Visit from Lady Darnfords two Daughters who come purposely to see
me and so she gave me the Key of the Portmanteau But I will not obey her and
I told her I would not be made a Shew of nor see the Ladies She left me
saying It should be worse for me if I did not But how can that be
Five oClock is come
And no young Ladies So that I fansy But hold I hear their Coach I
believe Ill step to the Window I wont go down to them I am resolvd
Good Sirs good Sirs What will become of me Here is my Master come in his
fine Chariot Indeed he is What shall I do Where shall I hide myself
Oh what shall I do Pray for me But Oh youll not see this Now good
Heaven preserve me if it be thy blessed Will
Seven oClock
Tho I dread to see him yet do I wonder I have not To be sure something is
resolved against me and he stays to hear all her Stories I can hardly write
yet as I can do nothing else I know not how to forbear Yet I cannot hold my
Pen How crooked and trembling the Lines I must leave off till I can get
quieter Fingers Why should the Guiltless tremble so when the Guilty can
possess their Minds in Peace
Saturday Morning
Now let me give you an Account of what passed last Night for I had no Power to
write nor yet Opportunity till now
This naughty Woman held my Master till half an Hour after seven and he came
hither about five in the Afternoon And then I heard his Voice on the Stairs as
he was coming up to me It was about his Supper for he said I shall chuse a
boild Chicken with Butter and Parsley And up he came
He put on a stern and majestick Air and he can look very majestick when he
pleases Well perverse Pamela ungrateful Runaway said he for my first
Salutation You do well dont you to give me all this Trouble and Vexation
I could not speak but throwing myself on the Floor hid my Face and was ready
to die with Grief and Apprehension He said Well may you hide your Face well
may you be ashamed to see me vile forward one as you are I sobbd and
wept but could not speak And he let me lie and went to the Door and called
Mrs Jewkes There said he take up that fallen Angel Once I thought her
as innocent as one But I have now no Patience with her The little Hyprocrite
prostrates herself thus in hopes to move my Weakness in her Favour and that
Ill raise her from the Floor myself But I shall not touch her No said he
cruel Gentleman as he was let such Fellows as Williams be taken in by her
artful Wiles I know her now and see that she is for any Fools Turn that will
be caught by her
I sighed as if my Heart would break And Mrs Jewkes lifted me up upon my
Knees for I trembled so I could not stand Come said she Mrs Pamela learn
to know your best Friend confess your unworthy Behaviour and beg his Honours
Forgiveness of all your Faults I was ready to faint and he said She is
Mistress of Arts Ill assure you and will mimick a Fit ten to one in a
Minute
I was struck to the Heart at this but could not speak presently only
lifted up my Eyes to Heaven And at last made shift to say God forgive you
Sir He seemd in a great Passion and walked up and down the Room casting
sometimes an Eye to me and seeming as if he would have spoken but checkd
himself And at last he said When she has acted this her first Part over
perhaps I will see her again and she shall soon know what she has to trust to
And so he went out of the Room And I was quite sick at Heart Surely
said I I am the wickedest Creature that ever breathd Well said the
Impertinent not so wicked as that neither but I am glad you begin to see your
Faults Nothing like being humble Come Ill stand your Friend and plead for
you if youll promise to be more dutiful for the future Come come added the
Wretch this may be all made up by tomorrow Morning if you are not a Fool
Begone hideous Woman said I and let not my Afflictions be added to by thy
inexorable Cruelty and unwomanly Wickedness
She gave me a Push and went away in a violent Passion And it seems she
made a Story of this and said I had such a Spirit there was no bearing it
I laid me down on the Floor and had no Power to stir till the Clock struck
Nine and then the wicked Woman came up again You must come down Stairs said
she to my Master that is if you please Spirit Said I I believe I cannot
stand Then said she Ill send Monsieur Colbrand to carry you down
I got up as well as I could and trembled all the way down Stairs And she
went before me into the Parlour and a new Servant that he had waiting on him
instead of John withdrew as soon as I came in
I thought said he when I came down you should have sat at Table with me when
I had not Company but when I find you cannot forget your Original but must
prefer my Menials to me I call you down to wait on me while I sup that I may
have a little Talk with you and throw away as little Time as possible upon you
Sir said I you do me Honour to wait upon you And I never shall I hope
forget my Original But I was forced to stand behind his Chair that I might
hold by it Fill me said he a Glass of that Burgundy I went to do it but my
Hand shook so that I could not hold the Plate with the Glass in it and spilt
some of the Wine So Mrs Jewkes pourd it for me and I carryd it as well as I
could and made a low Curchee He took it and said Stand behind me out of my
Sight
Why Mrs Jewkes said he you tell me she remains very sullen still and
eats nothing No said she not so much as will keep Life and Soul together
And is always crying you say too said he Yes Sir said she I think she is
for one thing or another Ay said he your young Wenches will feed upon their
Tears and their Obstinacy will serve them for Meat and Drink I think I never
saw her look better tho in my Life But I suppose she lives upon Love This
sweet Mr Williams and her little villainous Plots together have kept her
alive and well to be sure For Mischief Love and Contradiction are the
natural Aliments of a Woman
Poor I was forced to hear all this and be silent and indeed my Heart was
too full to speak
And so you say said he that she had another Project but Yesterday to get
away She denies it herself said she but it had all the Appearance of one Im
sure she made me in a fearful Pucker about it And I am glad your Honour is
come with all my Heart and I hope whatever be your Honours Intention
concerning her you will not be long about it for youll find her as slippery
as an Eel Ill assure you
Sir said I and clasped his Knees with my Arms not knowing what I did and
falling on my Knees Have Mercy on me and hear me concerning that wicked
Womans Usage of me
He cruelly interrupted me and said I am satisfyd she has done her Duty
It signifies nothing what you say against Mrs Jewkes That you are here little
Hyprocrite as you are pleading your Cause before me is owing to her Care of
you else you had been with the Parson Wicked Girl said he to tempt a Man
to undo himself as you have done him at a Time when I was on the Point of
making him happy for his Life
I arose but said with a deep Sigh I have done Sir I have done I have a
strange Tribunal to plead before The poor Sheep in the Fable had such an one
when it was tryd before the Vultur on the Accusation of the Wolf
So Mrs Jewkes said he you are the Wolf I the Vultur and this the poor
innocent Lamb on her Trial before us Oh you dont know how well this
Innocent is read in Reflection She has Wit at Will when she has a mind to
display her own romantick Innocence at the Price of other Peoples Characters
Well said the aggravating Creature this is nothing to what she has called
me I have been a Jezebel a London Prostitute and what not But I am
contented with her ill Names now I see it is her Fashion and she can call your
Honour a Vultur
Said I I had no Thought of comparing my Master And was going to say on
But he said Dont prate Girl No said she it dont become you Ill assure
you
Well said I since I must not speak I will hold my Peace But there is a
righteous Judge who knows the Secrets of all Hearts and to him I appeal
See there said he Now this meek good Creature is praying for Fire from
Heaven upon us O she can curse most heartily in the Spirit of Christian
Meekness Ill assure you Come Sawcyface give me another Glass of Wine
So I did as well as I could but wept so that he said I suppose I shall
have some of your Tears in my Wine
When he had suppd he stood up and said O how happy for you it is that
you can at Will thus make your speaking Eyes overflow in this manner without
losing any of their Brilliancy you have been told I suppose that you are most
beautiful in your Tears Did you ever said he to her who all this while was
standing in one Corner of the Parlour see a more charming Creature than this
Is it to be wonderd at that I demean myself thus to take Notice of her See
said he and took the Glass with one Hand and turnd me round with the other
What a Shape what a Neck what a Hand and what a Bloom in that lovely Face
But who can describe the Tricks and Artifices that lie lurking in her little
plotting guileful Heart Tis no Wonder the poor Parson was infatuated with
her I blame him less than her for who could expect such Artifice in so young
a Sorceress
I went to the further Part of the Room and held my Face against the
Wainscot and in spite of all I could do to refrain crying sobbd as if my
Heart would break He said I am surprizd Mrs Jewkes at the Mistake of the
Letters you tell me of But you see I am not afraid any body should read what
I write I dont carry on private Correspondencies and reveal every Secret that
comes to my Knowledge and then corrupt People to carry my Letters against
their Duty and all good Conscience
Come hither Hussy said he you and I have a dreadful Reckoning to make
Why dont you come when I bid you Fie upon it Mrs Pamela said she what
not stir when his Honour commands you to come to him Who knows but his
Goodness will forgive you
He came to me for I had no Power to stir and put his Arms about my Neck
and would kiss me and said Well Mrs Jewkes if it were not for the Thought
of this cursed Parson I believe in my Heart so great is my Weakness that I
could yet forgive this intriguing little Slut and take her to my Bosom
O said the Sycophant you are very good Sir very forgiving indeed But
come added the profligate Wretch I hope you will be so good as to take her to
your Bosom and that by tomorrow Morning youll bring her to a better Sense
of her Duty
Could any thing, in Womanhood be so vile I had no Patience But yet Grief
and Indignation choaked up the Passage of my Words and I could only stammer out
a passionate Exclamation to Heaven to protect my Innocence But the Word was
the Subject of their Ridicule Was ever poor Creature worse beset
He said as if he had been considering whether he could forgive me or not
No I cannot yet forgive her neither She has given me great Disturbance has
brought great Discredit upon me both abroad and at home has corrupted all my
Servants at the other House has despised my honourable Views and Intentions to
her and sought to run away with this ingrateful Parson And surely I ought not
to forgive her all this Yet with all this wretched Grimace he kissed me
again and would have put his Hand in my Bosom but I struggled and said I
would die before I would be used thus Consider Pamela said he in a
threatening Tone consider where you are and dont play the Fool If you do a
more dreadful Fate awaits you than you expect But take her up Stairs Mrs
Jewkes and Ill send a few Lines to her to consider of and let me have your
Answer Pamela in the Morning Till then you have to resolve And after that
your Doom is fixd So I went up Stairs and gave myself up to Grief and
Expectation of what he would send But yet I was glad of this Nights Reprieve
He sent me however nothing at all And about Twelve oClock Mrs Jewkes and
Nan came up as the Night before to be my Bedfellows and I would go tobed
with two of my Petticoats on which they mutterd at sadly and Mrs Jewkes
railed at me particularly Indeed I would have sat up all Night for Fear if
she would have let me For I had but very little Rest that Night apprehending
this Woman would let my Master in She did nothing but praise him and blame me
but I answerd her as little as I could
He has Sir Simon Telltale alias Darnford to dine with him today whose
Family sent to welcome him into the Country and it seems the old Knight wants
to see me so I suppose I shall be sent for as Samson was to make Sport for
him Here I am and must bear it all
Twelve oClock Saturday Noon
Just now he has sent me up by Mrs Jewkes the following Proposals So here are
the honourable Intentions all at once laid open They are my dear Parents to
make me a vile kept Mistress Which God I hope will always enable me to detest
the Thoughts of But youll see how they are accommodated to what I should have
most lovd could I have honestly promoted it your Welfare and Happiness I
have answerd them as youll Im sure approve and I am prepared for the
worst For tho I fear there will be nothing omitted to ruin me and tho my
poor Strength will not be able to defend me yet I will be innocent of Crime in
my Intention and in the Sight of God and to him leave the avenging of all my
Wrongs in his own good Time and Manner I shall write to you my Answer against
his Articles and hope the best tho I fear the worst But if I should come
home to you ruind and undone and may not be able to look you in the Face yet
pity and inspirit the poor Pamela to make her little Remnant of Life easy for
long I shall not survive my Disgrace And you may be assured it shall not be my
Fault if it be my Misfortune
»To Mrs Pamela Andrews
The following ARTICLES are proposed to your serious Consideration and let me
have an Answer in Writing to them that I may take my Resolutions accordingly
Only remember that I will not be trifled with and what you give for Answer
will absolutely decide your Fate without Expostulation or further Trouble
I If you can convince me that the hated Parson has had no Encouragement from
you in his Addresses and that you have no Inclination for him in Preference to
me then I will offer the following Proposals to you which I will punctually
make good
II I will directly make you a Present of 500 Guineas for your own Use which
you may dispose of to any Purpose you please And will give it absolutely into
the Hands of any Person you shall appoint to receive it and expect no Favour in
Return till you are satisfyd in the Possession of it
III I will likewise directly make over to you a Purchase I lately made in Kent
which brings in 250 l per Annum clear of all Deductions This shall be made
over to you in full Property for your Life and for the Lives of any Children
to Perpetuity that you may happen to have And your Father shall be immediately
put into Possession of it in Trust for these Purposes And the Management of it
will yield a comfortable Subsistence to him and your Mother for Life and I
will make up any Deficiencies if such should happen to that clear Sum and
allow him 50 l per Annum besides for his Life and that of your Mother for
his Care and Management of this your Estate
IV I will moreover extend my Favour to any other of your Relations that you
may think worthy of it or that are valued by you
V I will besides order Patterns to be sent you for chusing four complete
Suits of rich Cloaths that you may appear with Reputation as if you was my
Wife And I will give you the two Diamond Rings and two Pair of Earrings and
Diamond Necklace that were bought by my Mother to present to Miss Tomlins if
the Match had been brought to Effect that was proposed between her and me And
I will confer upon you still other Gratuities as I shall find myself obliged
by your good Behaviour and Affection
VI Now Pamela will you see by this what a Value I set upon the Freewill of
a Person already in my Power and who if these Proposals are not accepted
shall find that I have not taken all these Pains and risqued my Reputation as
I have done without resolving to gratify my Passion for you at all Adventures
and if you refuse without making any Terms at all
VII You shall be Mistress of my Person and Fortune as much as if the foolish
Ceremony had passed All my Servants shall be yours and you shall chuse any two
Persons to attend yourself either Male or Female without any Controul of mine
and if your Conduct be such that I have Reason to be satisfied with it I know
not but will not engage for this that I may after a Twelvemonths
Cohabitation marry you for if my Love increases for you as it has done for
many Months past it will be impossible for me to deny you any thing.
And now Pamela consider well it is in your Power to oblige me on such
Terms as will make yourself and all your Friends happy But this will be over
this very Day irrevocably over and you shall find all you would be thought to
fear without the least Benefit arising from it to yourself And I beg youll
well weigh the Matter and comply with my Proposals and I will instantly set
about securing to you the full Effect of them And let me if you value
yourself experience a grateful Return on this Occasion and Ill forgive all
thats past«
This is my Answer
Forgive good Sir the Spirit your poor Servant is about to shew in her Answer
to your ARTICLES Not to be warm and in earnest on such an Occasion as the
present would shew a Degree of Guilt that I hope my Soul abhors I will not
trifle with you nor act like a Person doubtful of her own Mind for it wants
not one Moments Consideration with me and I therefore return the Answer
following let what will be the Consequence
I As to the first Article Sir it may behove me that I may not deserve in
your Opinion the opprobrious Terms of forward and artful and the like to
declare solemnly that Mr Williams never had the least Encouragement from me
as to what you hint and I believe his principal Motive was the apprehended Duty
of his Function quite contrary to his apparent Interest to assist a Person he
thought in Distress You may Sir the rather believe me when I declare that I
know not the Man breathing I would wish to marry and that the only one I could
honour more than another is the Gentleman who of all others seeks my
everlasting Dishonour
II As to your second Proposal let the Consequence be what it will I reject it
with all my Soul Money Sir is not my chief Good May God Almighty desert me
whenever it is and whenever for the sake of that I can give up my Title to
that blessed Hope which will stand me in stead at a Time when Millions of Gold
will not purchase one happy Moment of Reflection on a past misspent Life
III Your third Proposal Sir I reject for the same Reason and am sorry you
could think my poor honest Parents would enter into their Part of it and be
concerned for the Management of an Estate which would be owing to the
Prostitution of their poor Daughter Forgive Sir my Warmth on this Occasion
but you know not the poor Man and the poor Woman my ever dear Father and
Mother if you think that they would not much rather chuse to starve in a Ditch
or rot in a noisome Dunghil than accept of the Fortune of a Monarch upon such
wicked Terms I dare not say all that my full Mind suggests to me on this
grievous Occasion But indeed Sir you know them not nor shall the Terrors
of Death in its most frightful Forms I hope thro Gods assisting Grace ever
make me act unworthy of such poor honest Parents
IV Your fourth Proposal I take upon me Sir to answer as the third If I have
any Friends that want the Favour of the Great may they ever want it if they
are capable of desiring it on unworthy Terms
V Fine Cloaths Sir become not me nor have I any Ambition to wear them I
have greater Pride in my Poverty and Meanness than I should have in Dress and
Finery Believe me Sir I think such things less become the humbleborn Pamela
than the Rags your good Mother raised me from Your Rings Sir your Necklace
and your Earrings will better befit Ladies of Degree than me And to lose the
best Jewel my Virtue would be poorly recompensed by those you propose to give
me What should I think when I looked upon my Finger or saw in the Glass
those Diamonds on my Neck and in my Ears but that they were the Price of my
Honesty and that I wore those Jewels outwardly because I had none inwardly
VI I know Sir by woful Experience that I am in your Power I know all the
Resistance I can make will be poor and weak and perhaps stand me in little
stead I dread your Will to ruin me is as great as your Power Yet Sir will I
dare to tell you that I will make no Freewill Offering of my Virtue All that
I can do poor as it is I will do to convince you that your Offers shall have
no Part in my Choice and if I cannot escape the Violence of Man I hope by
Gods Grace I shall have nothing to reproach myself for not doing all in my
Power to avoid my Disgrace and then I can safely appeal to the great God my
only Refuge and Protector with this Consolation That my Will bore no Part in
my Violation
VII I have not once dared to look so high as to such a Proposal as your
seventh Article contains Hence have proceeded all my little abortive Artifices
to escape from the Confinement you have put me in altho you promised to be
honourable to me Your Honour well I knew would not let you stoop to so mean
and so unworthy a Slave as the poor Pamela All I desire is to be permitted to
return to my native Meanness unviolated What have I done Sir to deserve it
should be otherwise For the obtaining of this tho I would not have marryd
your Chaplain yet would I have run away with your meanest Servant if I had
thought I could have got safe to my beloved Poverty I heard you once say Sir
That a certain great Commander who could live upon Lentils might well refuse
the Bribes of the greatest Monarch and I hope as I can contentedly live at
the meanest Rate and think not myself above the lowest Condition that I am
also above making an Exchange of my Honesty for all the Riches of the Indies
When I come to be proud and vain of gaudy Apparel and outside Finery then
which I hope will never be may I rest my principal Good in such vain
Trinkets and despise for them the more solid Ornaments of a good Fame and a
Chastity inviolate
Give me Leave to say Sir in Answer to what you hint That you may in a
Twelvemonths Time marry me on the Continuance of my good Behaviour that this
weighs less with me if possible than any thing else you have said For in the
first Place there is an End of all Merit and all good Behaviour on my Side
if I have now any the Moment I consent to your Proposals And I should be so
far from expecting such an Honour that I will pronounce that I should be most
unworthy of it What Sir would the World say were you to marry your Harlot
That a Gentleman of your Rank in Life should stoop not only to the baseborn
Pamela but to a baseborn Prostitute Little Sir as I know of the World I
am not to be caught by a Bait so poorly coverd as this
Yet after all dreadful is the Thought that I a poor weak friendless
unhappy Creature am too fully in your Power But permit me Sir to pray as I
now write on my bended Knees That before you resolve upon my Ruin you will
weigh well the Matter Hitherto Sir tho you have taken large Strides to this
crying Sin yet are you on this Side the Commission of it When once it is
done nothing can recal it And where will be your Triumph What Glory will
the Spoils of such a weak Enemy yield you Let me but enjoy my Poverty with
Honesty is all my Prayer and I will bless you and pray for you every Moment
of my Life Think O think before it is yet too late what Stings what Remorse
will attend your dying Hour when you come to reflect that you have ruind
perhaps Soul and Body a wretched Creature whose only Pride was her Virtue And
how pleasd you will be on the contrary if in that tremendous Moment you shall
be able to acquit yourself of this foul Crime and to plead in your own Behalf
that you sufferd the earnest Supplications of an unhappy Wretch to prevail with
you to be innocent yourself and let her remain so May God Almighty whose
Mercy so lately savd you from the Peril of perishing in deep Waters on which
I hope you will give me Cause to congratulate you touch your Heart in my
Favour and save you from this Sin and me from this Ruin And to Him do I
commit my Cause and to Him will I give the Glory and Night and Day pray for
you if I may be permitted to escape this great Evil From
Your poor oppressed
brokenspirited Servant
I took a Copy of this for your Perusal if I shall ever be so happy to see you
again my dear Parents for I hope my Conduct shall be approved of by you and
at Night when Sir Simon was gone he sent for me down Well said he have you
considered my Proposals Yes Sir said I I have And there is my Answer But
pray let me not see you read it Is it your Bashfulness said he or your
Obstinacy that makes you not chuse I should read it before you
I offerd to go away and he said Dont run from me I wont read it till
you are gone But said he tell me Pamela whether you comply with my
Proposals or not Sir said I you will see presently pray dont hold me for
he took my Hand Said he Did you well consider before you answerd I did
Sir said I If it be not what you think will please me said he dear Girl
take it back again and reconsider it for if I have this as your absolute
Answer and I dont like it you are undone for I will not sue meanly where I
can command I fear said he it is not what I like by your Manner And let me
tell you That I cannot bear Denial If the Terms I have offerd are not
sufficient I will augment them to two Thirds of my Estate for said he and
swore a dreadful Oath I cannot live without you And since the thing is gone so
far I will not And so he clasped me in his Arms in such a manner as quite
frighted me and kissed me two or three times
I got from him and run up Stairs and went to the Closet and was quite uneasy
and fearful
In an Hours time he called Mrs Jewkes down to him and I heard him very
high in Passion And all about poor me And I heard her say It was his own
Fault there would be an End of all my Complaining and Perverseness if he was
once resolved and other most impudent Aggravations I am resolved not to go
tobed this Night if I can help it Lie still lie still my poor fluttering
Heart what will become of me
Almost Twelve oClock Saturday Night
He sent Mrs Jewkes about Ten oClock to tell me to come to him Where said
I Ill shew you said she I went down three or four Steps and saw her making
to his Chamber the Door of which was open So I said I cannot go there
Dont be foolish said she but come no Harm will be done to you Well said
I if I die I cannot go there I heard him say Let her come or it shall be
worse for her I cant bear said he to speak to her myself Well said I I
cannot come indeed I cannot and so I went up again into my Closet expecting
to be fetchd by Force
But she came up soon after and bid me make haste tobed Said I I will not
go tobed this Night thats certain Then said she you shall be made to
come tobed and Nan and I will undress you I knew neither Prayers nor Tears
would move this wicked Woman So I said I am sure you will let my Master in
and I shall be undone Mighty Piece of Undone she said But he was too
exasperated against me to be so familiar with me she would assure me Ay
said she youll be disposed of another way soon I can tell you for your
Comfort And I hope your Husband will have your Obedience tho nobody else can
No Husband in the World said I shall make me do an unjust or base thing She
said That would be soon tryd and Nan coming in What said I am I to have
two Bedfellows again these warm Nights Yes said she Slipperyones you are
till you can have one good one instead of us Said I Mrs Jewkes dont talk
nastily to me I see you are beginning again and I shall affront you maybe
for next to bad Actions are bad Words for they could not be spoken if they
were not in the Heart Come tobed Purity said she You are a Nonsuch I
suppose Indeed said I I cant come tobed and it will do you no harm to let
me sit all Night in the great Chair Nan said she undress my young Lady If
she wont let you Ill help you And if neither of us can do it quietly well
call my Master to do it for us tho said she I think it an Office worthier of
Monsieur Colbrand You are very wicked said I I know it said she I am a
Jezebel and a London Prostitute you know You did great Feats said I to tell
my Master all this poor Stuff But you did not tell him how you beat me No
Lambkin said she a Word I had not heard a good while that I left for you to
tell and you was going to do it if the Vultur had not taken the Wolfs Part
and bid the poor innocent Lamb be silent Ay said I no matter for your
Fleers Mrs Jewkes tho I can have neither Justice nor Mercy here and cannot
be heard in my Defence yet a Time will come maybe when I shall be heard and
when your own Guilt will strike you dumb Ay Spirit said she and the Vultur
too Must we both be dumb Why that Lambkin will be pretty Then said the
wicked one youll have all the Talk to yourself Then how will the Tongue of
the pretty Lambkin bleat out Innocence and Virtue and Honesty till the whole
Trial be at an End Youre a wicked Woman thats certain said I and if you
thought any thing of another World could not talk thus But no Wonder It
shews what Hands I am got into Ay so it does said she but I beg youll
undress and come tobed or I believe your Innocence wont keep you from still
worse Hands I will come to bed said I if you will let me have the Keys in my
own Hand not else if I can help it Yes said she and then hey for another
Contrivance another Escape No no said I all my Contrivances are over
Ill assure you Pray let me have the Keys and I will come tobed She came to
me and took me in her huge Arms as if I was a Feather said she I do this to
shew you what a poor Resistance you can make against me if I pleased to exert
myself and so Lambkin dont say to your Wolf I wont come tobed And set
me down and tapped me on the Neck Ah said she thou art a pretty Creature
its true but so obstinate so full of Spirit If thy Strength was but
answerable to that thou wouldst run away with us all and this great House too
on thy Back but undress undress I tell you
Well said I I see my Misfortunes make you very merry and very witty too
But I will love you if you will humour me with the Keys of the Chamberdoors
Are you sure you will love me said she Now speak your Conscience Why
said I you must not put it so close neither would you if you thought you had
not given Reason to doubt it But I will love you as well as I can I would
not tell a wilful Lye And if I did you would not believe me after your hard
Usage of me Well said she thats all fair I own But Nan pray pull off my
young Ladys Shoes and Stockens No pray dont said I I will come tobed
presently since I must
And so I went to the Closet and scribbled a little about this idle
Chitchat And she being importunate I was forced to go tobed but with two of
my Coats on as the former Night and she let me hold the two Keys for there
are two Locks there being a double Door and so I got a little Sleep that
Night having had none for two or three Nights before
I cant imagine what she means but Nan offerd to talk a little once or
twice and she snubbed her and said I charge you Wench dont open your Lips
before me And if you are asked any Questions by Mrs Pamela dont answer her
one Word while I am here But she is a lordly Woman to the Maidservants and
that has always been her Character O how unlike good Mrs Jervis in every
thing
Sunday Morning
A Thought came into my Head I meant no Harm but it was a little bold For
seeing my Master dressing to go to Church and his Chariot getting ready I went
to my Closet and I writ
The Prayers of this Congregation are earnestly desired for a Gentleman
of great Worth and Honour who labours under a Temptation to exert his
great Power to ruin a poor distressed worthless Maiden
And also
The Prayers of this Congregation are earnestly desired by a poor
distressed Creature for the Preservation of her Virtue and Innocence
Mrs Jewkes came up Always writing said she and would see it And strait all
that ever I could say carryd it down to my Master He lookd upon it and
said Tell her she shall soon see how her Prayers are answerd She is very
bold But as she has rejected all my Favours her Reckoning for all is not far
off I lookd after him out of the Window and he was charmingly dressd To be
sure he is a handsome fine Gentleman What pity his Heart is not as good as
his Appearance Why cant I hate him But dont be uneasy if you should see
this for it is impossible I should love him for his Vices all ugly him over
as I may say
My Master sends Word that he shall not come home to Dinner I suppose he dines
with this Sir Simon Darnford I am much concerned for poor Mr Williams Mrs
Jewkes says he is confined still and takes on much All his Trouble is brought
upon him for my sake This grieves me much My Master it seems will have his
Money from him This is very hard for it is three fifty Pounds he gave him as
he thought as a Salary for three Years that he has been with him But there was
no Agreement between them and he absolutely depended on my Masters Favour To
be sure it was the more generous of him to run these Risques for the sake of
oppressed Innocence and I hope he will meet with his Reward in due Time Alas
For me I dare not plead for him that would raise my Oppressors Jealousy more
And I have not Interest to save myself
Sunday Evening
Mrs Jewkes has received a Line from my Master I wonder what it is but his
Chariot is come home without him But she will tell me nothing so it is in vain
to ask her I am so fearful of Plots and Tricks I know not what to do Every
thing I suspect for now my Disgrace is avowd what can I think To be sure
the worst will be attempted I can only pour out my Soul in Prayer to God for
his blessed Protection But if I must suffer let me not be long a mournful
Survivor Only let me not shorten my own Time sinfully
This Woman left upon the Table in the Chamber this Letter of my Masters
to her and I bolted myself in till I had transcribd it Youll see how
tremblingly by the Lines I wish poor Mr Williamss Release at any Rate but
this Letter makes my Heart ake Yet I have another Days Reprieve thank God
»Mrs Jewkes
I Have been so pressd on Williamss Affair that I shall set out
this Afternoon in Sir Simons Chariot and with Parson Peters who is
his Intercessor for Stamford and shall not be back till tomorrow
Evening if then As to your Ward I am thoroughly incensed against her
She has withstood her Time and now would she sign and seal to my
Articles it is too late I shall discover something perhaps by him
and will on my Return let her know that all her insnaring Loveliness
shall not save her from the Fate that awaits her But let her know
nothing of this lest it put her fruitful Mind upon Plots and Artifices
Besure trust her not without another with you at Night lest she
venture the Window in her foolish Rashness For I shall require her at
your Hands
Yours etc«
I had but just finished taking a Copy of this and laid the Letter where I had
it and unbolted the Door when she came up in a great Fright for fear I should
have seen it but I being in my Closet and that lying as she left it she did
not mistrust O said she I was afraid you had seen my Masters Letter here
which I carelesly left on the Table I wish said I I had known that Why sure
said she if you had you would not have offerd to read my Letters Indeed
said I I should at this Time if it had been in my way Do let me see it
Well said she I wish poor Mr Williams well off I understand my Master is
gone to make up Matters with him which is very good To be sure added she he
is a very good Gentleman and very forgiving Why said I as if I had known
nothing of the Matter how can he make up Matters with him Is not Mr Williams
at Stamford Yes said she I believe so but Parson Peters pleads for him and
he is gone with him to Stamford and will not be back to Night So we have
nothing to do but to eat our Suppers betimes and go tobed Ay thats pure
said I and I shall have good Rest this Night I hope So said she you might
every Night but for your own idle Fears You are afraid of your Friends when
none are near you Ay thats true said I for I have not one near me
So have I one more good honest Night before me What the next may be I know
not and so Ill try to take in a good deal of Sleep while I can be easy And
so here I say Goodnight my dear Parents for I have no more to write about
this Night And tho his Letter shocks me yet I will be as brisk as I can that
she maynt suspect I have seen it
Tuesday Night
For the future I will always mistrust most when Appearances look fairest O
your poor Daughter what has she not sufferd since what I wrote of Sunday
Night My worst Trial and my fearfullest Danger O how I shudder to write you
an Account of this wicked Interval of Time For my dear Parents will you not
be too much frightend and affected with my Distress when I tell you that his
Journey to Stamford was all abominable Pretence for he came home privately and
had well nigh effected all his vile Purposes and the Ruin of your poor
Daughter and that by such a Plot as I was not in the least apprehensive of And
Oh youll hear what a vile and unwomanly Part that wicked Wretch Mrs Jewkes
acted in it
I left off with letting you know how much I was pleased that I had one
Nights Reprieve added to my Honesty But I had less Occasion to rejoice than
ever as you will judge by what I have said already Take then the dreadful
Story as well as I can relate it
The Maid Nan is a little apt to drink if she can get at Liquor and Mrs
Jewkes happend or designd as is too probable to leave a Bottle of
Cherrybrandy in her way and the Wench drank some of it more than she should
and when she came in to lay the Cloth Mrs Jewkes perceived it and fell a
rating at her most sadly for she has too many Faults of her own to suffer any
of the like Sort in any body else if she can help it and she bid her get out
of her Sight when we had suppd and go tobed to sleep off her Liquor before
we came tobed And so the poor Maid went muttering up Stairs
About two Hours after which was near Eleven oClock Mrs Jewkes and I went
up to go tobed I pleasing myself with what a charming Night I should have We
lockd both Doors and saw poor Nan as I thought for Oh it was my abominable
Master as you shall hear byandby sitting fast asleep in an Elbowchair in
a dark Corner of the Room with her Apron thrown over her Head and Neck And
Mrs Jewkes said There is that Beast of a Wench fast asleep instead of being
abed I knew said she she had taken a fine Dose Ill wake her said I No
dont said she let her sleep on we shall lie better without her Ay said I
so we shall if she dont get Cold
Said she I hope you have no Writing to Night No replyd I I will go
tobed with you Mrs Jewkes Said she I wonder what you can find to write
about so much and am sure you have better Conveniencies of that kind and more
Paper than I am aware of and I had intended to romage you if my Master had
not come down for I spyd a broken Teacup with Ink which gave me a
Suspicion but as he is come let him look after you if he will and if you
deceive him it will be his own Fault
All this time we were undressing ourselves And I fetchd a deep Sigh What
do you sigh so for said she I am thinking Mrs Jewkes answerd I what a sad
Life I live and how hard is my Lot I am sure the Thief that has robbd is
much better off than I bating the Guilt and I should I think take it for a
Mercy to be hangd out of the way rather than live in these cruel
Apprehensions So being not sleepy and in a prattling Vein I began to give a
little History of myself as I did once before to Mrs Jervis in this manner
Here said I were my poor honest Parents they took care to instil good
Principles into my Mind till I was almost twelve Years of Age and taught me to
prefer Goodness and Poverty to the highest Condition of Life and they confirmd
their Lessons by their own Practice for they were of late Years remarkably
poor and always as remarkably honest even to a Proverb for as honest as
Goodman ANDREWS was a Byeword
Well then said I comes my late dear good Lady and takes a Fancy to me
and said she would be the making of me if I was a good Girl and she put me to
sing to dance to play on the Spinnet in order to divert her melancholy Hours
and also learnt me all manner of fine Needlework but still this was her
Lesson My good Pamela be virtuous and keep the Men at a Distance Well so I
was I hope and so I did and yet tho I say it they all loved me and
respected me and would do any thing for me as if I was a Gentlewoman
But then what comes next Why it pleased God to take my good Lady and
then comes my Master And what says he Why in Effect it is Be not
virtuous Pamela
So here have I lived above sixteen Years in Virtue and Reputation and all
at once when I come to know what is Good and what is Evil I must renounce all
the Good all the whole sixteen Years Innocence which next to Gods Grace I
owed chiefly to my Parents and my Ladys good Lessons and Examples and chuse
the Evil and so in a Moments Time become the vilest of Creatures And all
this for what I pray Why truly for a Pair of Diamond Earrings a Necklace
and a Diamond Ring for my Finger which would not become me For a few paltry
fine Cloaths which when I wore it would make but my former Poverty more
ridiculous to every body that saw me especially when they knew the base Terms I
wore them upon But indeed I was to have a great Parcel of Guineas beside I
forget how many for had there been ten times more they would have been not so
much to me as the honest Six Guineas you trickd me out of Mrs Jewkes
Well forsooth but then I was to have I know not how many Pounds a Year for
my Life and my poor Father there was the Jest of it was to be the Manager for
the abandond Prostitute his Daughter And then there was the Jest again my
kind forgiving virtuous Master would pardon me all my Misdeeds
Yes thank him for nothing truly And what pray are all these violent
Misdeeds Why they are for daring to adhere to the good Lessons that were
taught me and not learning a new one that would have reversed all my former
For not being contented when I was run away with in order to ruin me but
contriving if my poor Wits had been able to get out of my Danger and preserve
myself honest
Then was he once jealous of poor John tho he knew John was his own
Creature and helped to deceive me
Then was he outrageous against poor Parson Williams and him has this good
merciful Master thrown into Gaol and for what Why truly for that being a
Divine and a good Man he had the Fear of God before his Eyes and was willing
to forego all his Expectations of Interest and assist an oppressed poor
Creature
But to be sure I must be forward bold sawcy and what not to dare to
run away from certain Ruin and to try to escape from an unjust Confinement and
I must be married to the Parson nothing so sure
He would have had but a poor Catch of me had I consented but he and you
too know I did not want to marry any body I only wanted to go to my poor
Parents and to have my own Liberty and not to be confined to such an unlawful
Restraint and which would not be inflicted upon me but only that I am a poor
destitute young Body and have no Friend that is able to right me
So Mrs Jewkes said I here is my History in brief And I am a very
unhappy young Creature to be sure And why am I so Why because my Master
sees something in my Person that takes his present Fancy and because I would
not be undone Why therefore to chuse I must and I shall be undone And
this is all the Reason that can be given
She heard me run on all this time while I was undressing without any
Interruption and I said Well I must go to the two Closets ever since an
Affair of the Closet at the other House tho he is so far off And I had a good
mind to wake this poor Maid No dont said she I charge you I am very angry
with her and shell get no Harm there but if she wakes she may come tobed
well enough as long as there is a Candle in the Chimney
So I looked into the Closets and kneeled down in my own as I used to do
to say my Prayers and this with my under Cloaths in my Hand all undrest and
passed by the poor sleeping Wench as I thought in my Return But Oh little
did I think it was my wicked wicked Master in a Gown and Petticoat of hers
and her Apron over his Face and Shoulders What Meannesses will not Lucifer make
his Votaries stoop to to gain their abominable Ends
Mrs Jewkes by this time was got tobed on the further Side as she used
to be and to make room for the Maid when she should awake I got into Bed
and lay close to her And I said Where are the Keys tho said I I am not so
much afraid tonight Here said the wicked Woman put your Arm under mine and
you shall find them about my Wrist as they used to be So I did and the
abominable Designer held my Hand with her Righthand as my Rightarm was under
her Left
In less than a Quarter of an Hour I said Theres poor Nan awake I hear
her stir Let us go to sleep said she and not mind her Shell come tobed
when shes quite awake Poor Soul said I Ill warrant she will have the
Headach finely tomorrow for it Be silent said she and go to sleep you keep
me awake and I never found you in so talkative a Humour in my Life Dont chide
me said I I will say but one thing more Do you think Nan could hear me talk
of my Masters Offers No no said she she was dead asleep Im glad of that
said I because I would not expose my Master to his common Servants and I knew
you was no Stranger to his fine Articles Said she I think they were fine
Articles and you was bewitchd you did not close in with them But let us go to
sleep So I was silent and the pretended Nan O wicked base villainous
Designer what a Plot what an unexpected Plot was this seemd to be awaking
and Mrs Jewkes abhorred Creature said Come Nan what are you awake at
last Prythee come tobed for Mrs Pamela is in a talking Fit and wont go to
sleep one while
At that the pretended She came to the Bedside and sitting down in a Chair
where the Curtain hid her began to undress Said I Poor Mrs Ann I warrant
your Head achs most sadly How do you do She answerd not one Word Said the
superlatively wicked Woman You know I have orderd her not to answer you And
this Plot to be sure was laid when she gave her these Orders the Night
before
I heard her as I thought breathe all quick and short Indeed said I Mrs
Jewkes the poor Maid is not well What ails you Mrs Ann And still no Answer
was made
But I tremble to relate it the pretended She came into Bed but quiverd
like an Aspinleaf and I poor Fool that I was pitied her much But well
might the barbarous Deceiver tremble at his vile Dissimulation and base
Designs
What Words shall I find my dear Mother for my Father should not see this
shocking Part to describe the rest and my Confusion when the guilty Wretch
took my Leftarm and laid it under his Neck as the vile Procuress held my
Right and then he claspd me round my Waist
Said I Is the Wench mad Why how now Confidence thinking still it had
been Nan But he kissed me with frightful Vehemence and then his Voice broke
upon me like a Clap of Thunder Now Pamela said he is the dreadful Time of
Reckoning come that I have threatend I screamd out in such a manner as
never any body heard the like But there was nobody to help me And both my
Hands were secured as I said Sure never poor Soul was in such Agonies as I
Wicked Man said I wicked abominable Woman O God my God this Time this one
Time deliver me from this Distress or strike me dead this Moment and then I
screamd again and again
Says he One Word with you Pamela one Word hear me but and hitherto you
see I offer nothing to you Is this nothing said I to be in Bed here To hold
my Hands between you I will hear if you will instantly leave the Bed and take
this villainous Woman from me
Said she O Disgrace of Womankind What you do Sir do dont stand
dillydallying She cannot exclaim worse than she has done And shell be
quieter when she knows the worst
Silence said he to her I must say one Word to you Pamela it is this You
see now you are in my Power You cannot get from me nor help yourself Yet
have I not offerd any thing amiss to you But if you resolve not to comply with
my Proposals I will not lose this Opportunity If you do I will yet leave you
O Sir said I leave me leave me but and I will do any thing I ought to
do Swear then to me said he that you will accept my Proposals And then
for this was all detestable Grimace he put his Hand in my Bosom With
Struggling Fright Terror I fainted away quite and did not come to myself
soon so that they both from the cold Sweats that I was in thought me dying
And I remember no more than that when with great Difficulty they brought me
to myself she was setting on one side of the Bed with her Cloaths on and he
on the other with his and in his Gown and Slippers
Your poor Pamela cannot answer for the Liberties taken with her in her
deplorable State of Death And when I saw them there I sat up in my Bed
without any Regard to what Appearance I made and nothing about my Neck and he
soothing me with an Aspect of Pity and Concern I put my Hand to his Mouth and
said O tell me yet tell me not what I have sufferd in this Distress And I
talked quite wild and knew not what for to be sure I was on the Point of
Distraction
He most solemnly and with a bitter Imprecation vowd that he had not
offerd the least Indecency that he was frightend at the terrible manner I was
taken with the Fit That he would desist from his Attempt and beggd but to see
me easy and quiet and he would leave me directly and go to his own Bed O
then said I take from me this most wicked Woman this vile Mrs Jewkes as an
Earnest that I may believe you
And will you Sir said the wicked Wretch for a Fit or two give up such an
Opportunity as this I thought you had known the Sex better She is now you
see quite well again
This I heard more she might say but I fainted away once more at these
Words and at his clasping his Arms about me again And when I came a little to
myself I saw him sit there and the Maid Nan holding a Smellingbottle to my
Nose and no Mrs Jewkes
He said taking my Hand Now will I vow to you my dear Pamela that I will
leave you the Moment I see you better and pacifyd Heres Nan knows and will
tell you my Concern for you I vow to God I have not offerd any Indecency to
you And since I found Mrs Jewkes so offensive to you I have sent her to the
Maids Bed and the Maid shall lie with you tonight And but promise me that
you will compose yourself and I will leave you But said I will not Nan also
hold my Hand And will she not let you come in again to me He said By
Heaven I will not come in again tonight Nan undress yourself go tobed and
do all you can to comfort the dear Creature And now Pamela said he give me
but your Hand and say you forgive me and I will leave you to your Repose I
held out my trembling Hand which he vouchsafed to kiss and I said God forgive
you Sir as you have been just in my Distress and as you will be just to what
you promise And he withdrew with a Countenance of Remorse as I hoped and she
shut the Doors and at my Request brought the Keys tobed
This O my dear Parents was a most dreadful Trial I tremble still to think of
it and dare not recall all the horrid Circumstances of it I hope as he
assures me he was not guilty of Indecency but have Reason to bless God who
by disabling me in my Faculties enabled me to preserve my Innocence and when
all my Strength would have signified nothing magnifyd himself in my Weakness
I was so weak all Day on Monday that I lay abed My Master shewd great
Tenderness for me and I hope he is really sorry and that this will be his
last Attempt but he does not say so neither
He came in the Morning as soon as he heard the Door open And I begun to be
fearful He stopt short of the Bed and said Rather than give you
Apprehensions I will come no further I said Your Honour Sir and your Mercy
is all I have to beg He sat himself on the side of the Bed and asked kindly
how I did Beggd me to be composd said I still lookd a little wildly And
I said Pray good Sir let me not see this infamous Mrs Jewkes I doubt I
cannot bear her Sight She shant said he come near you all this Day if
youll promise to compose yourself Then Sir said I I will try He pressed my
Hand very tenderly and went out What a Change does this shew O may it be
lasting But alas he seems only to have alterd his Method of Proceeding but
retains I doubt his wicked Purpose
On Tuesday about ten oClock when my Master heard I was up he sent for me
down into the Parlour When I came he said Come nearer to me Pamela I did
so and he took my Hand and said You begin to look well again I am glad of
it You little Slut how did you frighten me on Sunday Night Sir said I
pray name not that Night and my Eyes overflowd at the Remembrance and I
turnd my Head aside
Said he Place some little Confidence in me I know what those charming Eyes
mean and you shall not need to explain yourself For I do assure you that as
soon as I saw you change and a cold Sweat bedew your pretty Face and you
fainted away I quitted the Bed and Mrs Jewkes did so too And I put on my
Gown and she fetchd her Smellingbottle and did all we could to restore you
and my Passion for you was all swallowd up in the Concern I had for your
Recovery for I thought I never saw a Fit so strong and violent in my Life and
feard we should not bring you to Life again for what I saw you in once before
was nothing to it This said he might be my Folly and my Unacquaintedness
with what your Sex can shew when they are in Earnest But this I repeat to you
that your Mind may be intirely comforted All I offerd to you and that I
am sure was innocent was before you fainted away
Sir said I that was very bad And it was too plain you had the worst
Designs When said he I tell you the Truth in one Instance you may believe me
in the other I know not I declare beyond this lovely Bosom your Sex but that
I did intend what you call the worst is most certain And tho I would not too
much alarm you now I could curse my Weakness and my Folly which makes me own
that I love you beyond all your Sex and cannot live without you But if I am
Master of myself and my own Resolution I will not attempt to force you to any
thing again Sir said I you may easily keep your Resolution if you will send
me out of your way to my poor Parents that is all I beg
Tis a Folly to talk of it said he You must not shall not go And if I
could be assurd you would not attempt it you should have better Usage and
your Confinement should be made easier to you But to what End Sir am I to
stay said I You yourself seem not sure you can keep your own present good
Resolutions and do you think if I was to stay when I could get away and be
safe it would not look as if either I confided too much in my own Strength or
would tempt my Ruin And as if I was not in earnest to wish myself safe and out
of Danger And then how long am I to stay And to what Purpose And in what
Light must I appear to the World Would not that censure me altho I might be
innocent And you will allow Sir that if there be any thing valuable or
exemplary in a good Name or fair Reputation one must not despise the Worlds
Censure if one can avoid it
Well said he I sent not for you on this Account just now But for two
Reasons The first is that you promise me that for a Fortnight to come you
will not offer to go away without my express Consent and this I expect for your
own sake that I may give you a little more Liberty And the second is That you
will see and forgive Mrs Jewkes she takes on much and thinks that as all
her Fault was her Obedience to me it would be very hard to sacrifice her as
she calls it to your Resentment
As to the first Sir said I it is a hard Injunction for the Reasons I
have mentiond And as to the second considering her vile unwomanly Wickedness
and her Endeavours to instigate you more to ruin me when your returning
Goodness seemd to have some Compassion on me it is still harder But to shew
my Obedience to your Commands for you know my dear Parents I might as well
make a Merit of my Compliance when my Refusal would stand me in no stead I
will consent to both and to every thing else that you shall be pleasd to
injoin which I can do with Innocence
Thats my good Girl said he and kissd me This is quite prudent and
shews me that you dont take insolent Advantage of my Favour for you and will
perhaps stand you in more stead than you are aware of
So he rung the Bell and said Call down Mrs Jewkes She came down and he
took my Hand and put it into hers and said Mrs Jewkes I am obligd to you
for all your Diligence and Fidelity to me but Pamela I must own is not
because the Service I employd you in was not so very obliging to her as I
could have wishd she would have thought it and you was not to favour her but
obey me But yet Ill assure you at the very first Word she has once obligd
me by consenting to be Friends with you and if she gives me no great Cause I
shall not perhaps put you on such disagreeable Service again Now
therefore be you once more Bedfellows and Boardfellows as I may say for
some Days longer and see that Pamela sends no Letters nor Messages out of the
House nor keeps a Correspondence unknown to me especially with that Williams
and as for the rest shew the dear Girl all the Respect that is due to one I
must love if she will deserve it as I hope she will yet and let her be under
no unnecessary or harsh Restraints But your watchful Care is not however to
cease And remember that you are not to disoblige me to oblige her and that I
will not cannot yet part with her
Mrs Jewkes lookd very sullen and as if she would be glad still to do me a
good Turn if it lay in her Power
I took Courage then to drop a Word or two for poor Mr Williams but he was
angry with me for it and said he could not endure to hear his Name in my
Mouth so I was forcd to have done for that time
All this time my Papers that I had buryd under the Rosebush lay there
still and I beggd for Leave to send a Letter to you So I should he said if
he might read it first But this did not answer my Design and yet I would have
sent you such a Letter as he might see if I had been sure my Danger was over
But that I cannot for he now seems to take another Method and what I am more
afraid of because maybe he may watch an Opportunity and join Force with it
on Occasion when I am least prepard For now he seems to abound with
Kindness and talks of Love without Reserve and makes nothing of allowing
himself in the Liberty of kissing me which he calls innocent but which I do
not like and especially in the manner he does it but for a Master to do it at
all to a Servant has Meaning too much in it not to alarm an honest Body
Wednesday Morning
I Find I am watched and suspected still very close and I wish I was with you
but that must not be it seems this Fortnight I dont like this Fortnight and
it will be a tedious and a dangerous one to me I doubt
My Master just now sent for me down to take a Walk with him in the Garden
But I like him not at all nor his Ways For he would have all the way his Arm
about my Waist and said abundance of fond Things to me enough to make me
proud if his Design had not been apparent After walking about he led me into
a little Alcove on the further Part of the Garden and really made me afraid of
myself For he began to be very teazing and made me sit on his Knee and was so
often kissing me that I said Sir I dont like to be here at all I assure
you Indeed you make me afraid And what made me the more so was what he once
said to Mrs Jewkes and did not think I heard him and which tho always
uppermost with me I did not mention before because I did not know how to bring
it in in my Writing
She I suppose had been encouraging him in his Wickedness for it was
before the last dreadful Trial and I only heard what he answerd
Said he I will try once more but I have begun wrong For I see Terror does
but add to her Frost but she is a charming Girl and may be thawd by
Kindness and I should have melted her by Love instead of freezing her by Fear
Is he not a wicked sad Man for this To be sure I blush while I write it
But I trust that that God who has deliverd me from the Paw of the Lion and
the Bear that is his and Mrs Jewkess Violences will also deliver me from
this Philistine myself and my own Infirmities that I may not defy the
Commands of the Living God
But as I was saying this Expression coming into my Thoughts I was of
Opinion I could not be too much on my Guard at all times more especially when
he took such Liberties For he professed Honour all the Time with his Mouth
while his Actions did not correspond I beggd and prayd he would let me go
And had I not appeard quite regardless of all he said and resolvd not to
stay if I could help it I know not how far he would have proceeded For I was
forcd to fall down upon my Knees
At last he walkd out with me still bragging of his Honour and his Love
Yes yes Sir said I your Honour is to destroy mine and your Love is to ruin
me I see it too plainly But indeed I will not walk with you Sir said I
any more Do you know said he who you talk to and where you are
You may believe I had Reason to think him not so decent as he should be for
I said As to where I am Sir I know it too well and that I have no Creature
to befriend me And as to who you are Sir let me ask you what you would have
me answer
Why tell me said he what Answer you would make It will only make you
angry said I and so I shall fare worse if possible I wont be angry said
he Why then Sir said I you cannot be my late good Ladys Son for she lovd
me and taught me Virtue You cannot then be my Master for no Master demeans
himself so to his poor Servant
He put his Arm round me and his other Hand on my Neck which made me more
angry and bold and he said What then am I Why said I struggling from him
and in a great Passion to be sure you are Lucifer himself in the Shape of my
Master or you could not use me thus These are too great Liberties said he in
Anger and I desire that you will not repeat them for your own sake For if you
have no Decency towards me Ill have none to you
I was running from him and he said Come back when I bid you So
knowing every Place was alike dangerous to me and I had nobody to run to I
came back at his Call and I held my Hands together and wept and said Pray
Sir forgive me No said he rather say Pray Lucifer forgive me and now
since you take me for the Devil how can you expect any Good from me How
rather can you expect any thing but the worst Treatment from me You have
given me a Character Pamela and blame me not that I act up to it
Sir said I let me beg you to forgive me I am really sorry for my
Boldness but indeed you dont use me like a Gentleman and how can I express my
Resentment if I mince the Matter while you are so indecent
Precise Fool said he what Indecencies have I offerd you I was
bewitchd I had not gone thro my Purpose last Sunday Night and then your
licentious Tongue had not given the worst Names to little puny Freedoms that
shew my Love and my Folly at the same time But begone and learn another
Conduct and more Wit and I will lay aside my foolish Regard for you and assert
myself Begone said he again with a haughty Air
Indeed Sir said I I cannot go till you pardon me which I beg on my
bended Knees I am truly sorry for my Boldness But I see how you go on You
creep by little and little upon me and now sooth me and now threaten me and
if I should forbear to shew my Resentment when you offer Incivilities to me
would not that be to be lost by degrees Would it not shew that I could bear any
thing from you if I did not express all the Indignation I could express at the
first Approaches you make to what I dread And have you not as good as avowd
my Ruin And have you once made me hope you will quit your Purposes against
me How then Sir can I act but by shewing my Abhorrence of every Step that
makes towards my Undoing And what is left me but Words And can these Words be
other than such strong ones as shall shew the Detestation which from the
Bottom of my Heart I have for every Attempt upon my Virtue Judge for me Sir
and pardon me
Pardon you said he what when you dont repent When you have the
Boldness to justify yourself in your Fault Why dont you say you never will
again offend me I will endeavour Sir said I always to preserve that Decency
towards you which becomes me But really Sir I must beg your Excuse for
saying That when you forget what belongs to Decency in your Actions and when
Words are all that are left me to shew my Resentment of such Actions I will
not promise to forbear the strongest Expressions that my distressed Mind shall
suggest to me nor shall your angriest Frowns deter me when my Honesty is in
Question
What then said he do you beg Pardon for Where is the Promise of Amendment
for which I should forgive you Indeed Sir said I I own that must absolutely
depend on your Usage of me For I will bear any thing you can inflict upon me
with Patience even to the laying down of my Life to shew my Obedience to you
in other Cases but I cannot be patient I cannot be passive when my Virtue is
at Stake It would be criminal in me if I was
He said he never saw such a Fool in his Life And he walkd by the Side of
me some Yards without saying a Word and seemd vexd and at last walked in
bidding me attend him in the Garden after Dinner So having a little Time I
went up and wrote thus far
Wednesday Night
If my dear Parents I am not destind more surely than ever for Ruin I have
now more Comfort before me than ever I yet knew And am either nearer my
Happiness or my Misery than ever I was God protect me from the latter if it be
his blessed Will I have now such a Scene to open to you that I know will alarm
both your Hopes and your Fears as it does mine And this it is
After my Master had dind he took a Turn into the Stables to look at his Stud
of Horses and when he came in he opend the Parlourdoor where Mrs Jewkes
and I sat at Dinner and at his Entrance we both rose up but he said Sit
still sit still and let me see how you eat your Victuals Pamela O said Mrs
Jewkes very poorly Sir Ill assure you No said I pretty well Sir
considering None of your Considerings said he Prettyface and tappd me on
the Cheek I blushd but was glad he was so goodhumourd but I could not tell
how to sit before him nor to behave myself So he said I know Pamela you are
a nice Carver My Mother usd to say so My Lady Sir said I was very good to
me in every thing and would always make me do the Honours of her Table for
her when she was with her few select Friends that she lovd Cut up said he
that Chicken I did so Now said he and took a Knife and Fork and put a Wing
upon my Plate let me see you eat that O Sir said I I have eat a whole Breast
of a Chicken already and cannot eat so much But he said I must eat it for his
sake and he would learn me to eat heartily So I did eat it but was much
confused at his so kind and unusual Freedom and Condescension And good Sirs
you cant imagine how Mrs Jewkes lookd and stard and how respectful she
seemd to me and calld me good Madam Ill assure you urging me to take a
little Bit of Tart
My Master took two or three Turns about the Room musing and thoughtful as I
had never before seen him and at last he went out saying I am going into the
Garden You know Pamela what I said to you before Dinner I rose and curcheed
saying I would attend his Honour and he said Do good Girl
Well said Mrs Jewkes I see how things will go O Madam as she calld me
again I am sure you are to be our Mistress And then I know what will become of
me Ah Mrs Jewkes said I if I can but keep myself virtuous tis the utmost
of my Ambition and I hope no Temptation shall make me otherwise
Notwithstanding I had no Reason to be pleasd with his Treatment of me
before Dinner yet I made haste to attend him and I found him walking by the
Side of that Pond which for Want of Grace and thro a sinful Despondence had
like to have been so fatal to me and the Sight of which ever since has been a
Trouble and Reproach to me And it was by the Side of this Pond and not far
from the Place where I had that dreadful Conflict that my present Hopes if I
am not to be deceivd again began to dawn which I presume to flatter myself
with being an happy Omen for me as if God Almighty would shew your poor sinful
Daughter how well I did to put my Affiance in his Goodness and not to throw
away myself because my Ruin seemd inevitable to my shortsighted Apprehension
So he was pleasd to say Well Pamela I am glad you are come of your own
Accord as I may say Give me your Hand I did so and he lookd at me very
steadily and pressing my Hand all the time at last said I will now talk to
you in a serious manner
You have a great deal of Wit a great deal of Penetration much beyond your
Years and as I thought your Opportunities You are possessd of an open
frank and generous Mind and a Person so lovely that you excel all your Sex in
my Eyes All these Accomplishments have engagd my Affections so deeply that
as I have often said I cannot live without you and I would divide with all my
Soul my Estate with you to make you mine upon my own Terms These you have
absolutely rejected and that tho in sawcy Terms enough yet in such a
manner as makes me admire you more Your pretty Chitchat to Mrs Jewkes the
last Sunday Night so innocent and so full of beautiful Simplicity half
disarmed my Resolutions before I approachd your Bed And I see you so watchful
over your Virtue that tho I hopd to find it otherwise I cannot but say my
Passion for you is increasd by it But now what shall I say further Pamela
I will make you tho a Party my Adviser in this Matter tho not perhaps my
definitive Judge
You know I am not a very abandond Profligate I have hitherto been guilty
of no very enormous or vile Actions This of seizing you and confining you
thus may perhaps be one of the worst at least to Persons of real Innocence
Had I been utterly given up to my Passions I should before now have gratifyd
them and not have shewn that Remorse and Compassion for you which have
reprievd you more than once when absolutely in my Power and you are as
inviolate a Virgin as you was when you came into my House
But what can I do Consider the Pride of my Condition I cannot endure the
Thought of Marriage even with a Person of equal or superior Degree to myself
and have declind several Proposals of that kind How then with the Distance
between us and in the Worlds Judgment can I think of making you my Wife
Yet I must have you I cannot bear the Thoughts of any other Man supplanting me
in your Affections And the very Apprehension of that has made me hate the Name
of Williams and use him in a manner unworthy of my Temper
Now Pamela judge for me and since I have told you thus candidly my Mind
and I see yours is big with some important Meaning by your Eyes your Blushes
and that sweet Confusion which I behold struggling in your Bosom tell me with
like Openness and Candour what you think I ought to do and what you would have
me do
It is impossible for me to express the Agitations of my Mind on this unexpected
Declaration so contrary to his former Behaviour His Manner too had something
so noble and so sincere as I thought that alas for me I found I had Need of
all my poor Discretion to ward off the Blow which this Treatment gave to my
most guarded Thoughts I threw myself at his Feet for I trembled and could
hardly stand O Sir said I spare your poor Servants Confusion O spare the
poor Pamela I cannot say what you ought to do But I only beg you will not
ruin me and if you think me virtuous if you think me sincerely honest let me
go to my poor Parents I will vow to you that I will never suffer myself to be
engagd without your Approbation As to my poor Thoughts of what you ought to
do I must needs say that indeed I think you ought to regard the Worlds
Opinion and avoid doing any thing disgraceful to your own Birth and Fortune
and therefore if you really honour the poor Pamela with your Respect a little
Time Absence and the Conversation of worthier Persons of my Sex will
effectually enable you to overcome a Regard so unworthy of your Condition And
this good Sir is the best Advice I can offer
Charming Creature lovely Pamela said he with an Ardor that was never
before so agreeable to me this generous Manner is of a Piece with all the rest
of your Conduct But tell me more explicitly what you would advise me in the
Case
O Sir said I take not Advantage of my Credulity and these my weak
Moments but were I the first Lady in the Land instead of the poor abject
Pamela I would I could tell you But I can say no more
O my dear Father and Mother now I know you will indeed be concernd for me
For now I am for myself And now I begin to be afraid I know too well the
Reason why all his hard Trials of me and my black Apprehensions would not let
me hate him
But be assurd still by Gods Grace that I shall do nothing unworthy of
your Pamela and if I find that he is still capable of deceiving me and that
this Conduct is only put on to delude me more I shall think nothing in this
World so vile and so odious and nothing if he be not the worst of his Kind as
he says and I hope he is not so desperately guileful as the Heart of Man
He generously said I will spare your Confusion Pamela But I hope I may
promise myself that you can love me preferably to any other Man and that no
one in the World has had any Share in your Affections for I am very jealous of
what I love and if I thought you had a secret Whispering in your Soul that had
not yet come up to a Wish for any other Man breathing I should not forgive
myself to persist in my Affection for you nor you if you did not frankly
acquaint me with it
As I still continued on my Knees on the Grass Slope by the Pondside he
sat himself down on the Grass by me and took me in his Arms Why hesitates my
Pamela said he Can you not answer me with Truth as I wish If you cannot
speak and I will forgive you
O good Sir said I it is not that indeed it is not But a frightful Word
or two that you said to Mrs Jewkes when you thought I was not in hearing
comes cross my Mind and makes me dread that I am in more Danger than ever I
was in my Life
You have never found me a common Liar said he too fearful and foolish
Pamela nor will I answer how long I may hold in my present Mind for my Pride
struggles hard within me Ill assure you and if you doubt me I have no
Obligation to your Confidence or Opinion But at present I am really sincere in
what I say And I expect you will be so too and answer directly my Question
I find Sir said I I know not myself and your Question is of such a
Nature that I only want to tell you what I heard and to have your kind Answer
to it or else what I have to say to your Question may pave the Way to my
Ruin and shew a Weakness that I did not believe was in me
Well said he you may say what you have overheard for in not answering me
directly you put my Soul upon the Rack and half the Trouble I have had with
you would have brought to my Arms the finest Lady in England
O Sir said I my Virtue is as dear to me as if I was of the highest
Quality and my Doubts for which you know I have had too much Reason have made
me troublesome But now Sir I will tell you what I heard which has given me
great Uneasiness
You talked to Mrs Jewkes of having begun wrong with me in trying to subdue
me with Terror and of Frost and suchlike you remember it well and that
you would for the future change your Conduct and try to melt me that was
your Word by Kindness
I fear not Sir the Grace of God supporting me that any Acts of Kindness
would make me forget what I owe to my Virtue but Sir I may I find be made
more miserable by such Acts than by Terror because my Nature is too frank and
open to make me wish to be ingrateful and if I should be taught a Lesson I
never yet learnt with what Regret should I descend to the Grave to think that
I could not hate my Undoer And that at the last great Day I must stand up as
an Accuser of the poor unhappy Soul that I could wish it in my Power to save
Exalted Girl said he what a Thought is that Why now Pamela you excel
your self You have given me a Hint that will hold me long But sweet Creature
said he tell me what is this Lesson which you never yet learnt and which you
are so afraid of learning
If Sir said I you will again generously spare my Confusion I need not
say it But this I will say in Answer to the Question you seem most solicitous
about That I know not the Man breathing that I would wish to be marryd to or
that ever I thought of with such a Hope I had brought my Mind so to love
Poverty that I hopd for nothing but to return to the best tho the poorest
of Parents and to employ myself in serving God and comforting them and you
know not Sir how you disappointed my Hopes and my proposed honest Pleasures
when you sent me hither
Well then said he I may promise myself that neither the Parson nor any
other Man is any the least secret Motive to your stedfast Refusal of my Offers
Indeed Sir said I you may and as you was pleased to ask I answer that I
have not the least Shadow of a Wish or Thought for any Man living
But said he for I am foolishly jealous and yet it shews my Fondness for
you have you not encouragd Williams to think you will have him Indeed Sir
said I I have not but the very contrary And would you not have had him said
he if you had got away by his Means I had resolvd Sir said I in my Mind
otherwise and he knew it and the poor Man I charge you said he say not a
Word in his Favour You will excite a Whirlwind in my Soul if you name him with
Kindness and then youll be borne away with the Tempest
Sir said I I have done Nay said he but do not have done let me know
the whole If you have any Regard for him speak out for it would end
fearfully for you for me and for him if I found that you disguisd any
Secret of your Soul from me in this nice Particular
Sir said I if I have ever given you Cause to think me sincere Say then
said he interrupting me with great Vehemence and taking both my Hands between
his Say That you now in the Presence of God declare that you have not any
the most hidden Regard for Williams or any other Man
Sir said I I do As God shall bless me and preserve my Innocence I have
not Well said he I will believe you Pamela and in time perhaps I may
better bear that Mans Name And if I am convincd that you are not
prepossessd my Vanity makes me assurd that I need not to fear a Place in
your Esteem equal if not preferable to any Man in England But yet it stings
my Pride to the quick that you was so easily brought and at such a short
Acquaintance to run away with that College Novice
O good Sir said I may I be heard one Thing and tho I bring upon me your
highest Indignation I will tell you perhaps the unnecessary and imprudent but
yet the whole Truth
My Honesty I am poor and lowly and am not intitled to call it Honour was
in Danger I saw no Means of securing myself from your avowd Attempts You had
shewd you would not stick at little Matters and what Sir could any body have
thought of my Sincerity in preferring that to all other Considerations if I
had not escapd from these Dangers if I could have found any way for it I am
not going to say any thing for him but indeed indeed Sir I was the Cause of
putting him upon assisting me in my Escape I got him to acquaint me what
Gentry there were in the Neighbourhood that I might fly to and prevaild upon
him Dont frown at me good Sir for I must tell you the whole Truth to
apply to one Lady Jones to Lady Darnford and he was so good to apply to Mr
Peters the Minister but they all refusd me and then it was he let me know
that there was no honourable Way but Marriage That I declind and he agreed to
assist me for Gods sake
Now said he you are going I boldly put my Hand before his Mouth hardly
knowing the Liberty I took Pray Sir said I dont be angry I have just done
I would only say That rather than have staid to be ruind I would have
thrown myself upon the poorest Beggar that ever the World saw if I thought him
honest And I hope when you duly weigh all Matters you will forgive me and
not think me so bold and so forward as you have been pleasd to call me
Well said he even in this your last Speech which let me tell you shews
more your Honesty of Heart than your Prudence you have not overmuch pleasd
me But I must love you and that vexes me not a little But tell me Pamela
for now the former Question recurs Since you so much prize your Honour and your
Virtue since all Attempts against that are so odious to you and since I have
avowedly made several of these Attempts do you think it is possible for you to
love me preferably to any other of my Sex
Ah Sir said I and here my Doubt recurs that you may thus graciously use
me to take Advantage of my Credulity
Still perverse and doubting said he Cannot you take me as I am at present
and that I have told you is sincere and undesigning whatever I may be
hereafter
Ah Sir replyd I what can I say I have already said too much if this
dreadful Hereafter should take place Dont bid me say how well I can And
then my Face glowing as the Fire I all abashd leand upon his Shoulder to
hide my Confusion
He claspd me to him with great Ardour and said Hide your dear Face in my
Bosom my beloved Pamela your innocent Freedoms charm me But then say How
well what
If you will be good said I to your poor Servant and spare her I cannot
say too much But if not I am doubly undone Undone indeed
Said he I hope my present Temper will hold for I tell you frankly that I
have known in this agreeable Hour more sincere Pleasure than I have experiencd
in all the guilty Tumults that my desiring Soul put me into in the Hopes of
possessing you on my own Terms And Pamela you must pray for the Continuance
of this Temper and I hope your Prayers will get the better of my Temptations
This sweet Goodness overpowerd all my Reserves I threw myself at his Feet
and embracd his Knees What Pleasure Sir you give me at these gracious
Words is not lent your poor Servant to express I shall be too much rewarded
for all my Sufferings if this Goodness hold God grant it may for your own
Souls sake as well as mine And Oh how happy should I be if
He stopt me and said But my dear Girl what must we do about the World
and the Worlds Censure Indeed I cannot marry
Now was I again struck all of a Heap However soon recollecting myself
Sir said I I have not the Presumption to hope such an Honour If I may be
permitted to return in Peace and Safety to my poor Parents to pray for you
there it is all I at present request This Sir after all my Apprehensions and
Dangers will be a great Pleasure to me And if I know my own poor Heart I
shall wish you happy in a Lady of suitable Degree And rejoice most sincerely in
every Circumstance that shall make for the Happiness of my late good Ladys most
beloved Son
Well said he this Conversation Pamela is gone farther than I intended
it You need not be afraid at this rate of trusting yourself with me But it
is I that ought to be doubtful of myself when I am with you But before I
say any thing further on this Subject I will take my proud Heart to Task and
till then let every thing be as if this Conversation had never passd Only
let me tell you that the more Confidence you place in me the more youll
oblige me But your Doubts will only beget Cause of Doubts And with this
ambiguous Saying he saluted me in a more formal manner if I may so say than
before and lent me his Hand and so we walkd towards the House Sidebyside
he seeming very thoughtful and pensive as if he had already repented him of his
Goodness
What shall I do what Steps take if all this be designing O the Perplexities
of these cruel Doubtings To be sure if he be false as I may call it I have
gone too far much too far I am ready on the Apprehension of this to bite
my forward Tongue or rather to beat my more forward Heart that dictated to
that poor Machine for what I have said But sure at least he must be sincere
for the Time He could not be such a practised Dissembler If he could O
how desperately wicked is the Heart of Man And where could he learn all these
barbarous Arts If so it must be native surely to the Sex But silent be
my rash Censurings be hushd ye stormy Tumults of my disturbed Mind for have
I not a Father who is a Man A Man who knows no Guile who would do no Wrong
who would not deceive or oppress to gain a Kingdom How then can I think it
is native to the Sex And I must also hope my good Ladys Son cannot be the
worst of Men If he is hard the Lot of the excellent Woman that bore him
But much harder the Hap of your poor Pamela who has fallen into such Hands
But yet I will trust in God and hope the best and so lay down my tired Pen for
this Time
Thursday Morning
Somebody rappd at our Chamberdoor this Morning soon after it was light Mrs
Jewkes askd who it was my Master said Open the Door Mrs Jewkes O said
I for Gods sake Mrs Jewkes dont Indeed said she but I must I clung
about her Then said I let me slip on my Cloaths first But he rappd again
and she broke from me and I was frighted out of my Wits and folded myself in
the Bedcloaths He enterd and said What Pamela so fearful after what
passd yesterday between us O Sir Sir said I I fear my Prayers have wanted
their wishd Effect Pray good Sir consider He sat down on the Bedside and
interrupted me No need of your foolish Fears I shall say but a Word or two
and go away
After you went to Bed said he I had an Invitation to a Ball which is to
be this Night at Stamford on Occasion of a Wedding and I am going to call on
Sir Simon and his Lady and Daughters for it is a Relation of theirs So I
shall not be at home till Saturday I come therefore to caution you Mrs
Jewkes before Pamela that she may not wonder at being closer confind than
for these three or four Days past that no body sees her nor delivers any
Letter to her in this Space for a Person has been seen lurking about and
inquiring after her and I have been well informd that either Mrs Jervis or
Mr Longman has wrote a Letter with a Design of having it conveyd to her
And said he you must know Pamela that I have orderd Mr Longman to give up
his Accounts and have dismissd Jonathan and Mrs Jervis since I have been
here for their Behaviour has been intolerable and they have made such a Breach
between my Sister Davers and me that we shall never perhaps make up Now
Pamela I shall take it kindly in you if you will confine yourself to your
Chamber pretty much for the Time I am absent and not give Mrs Jewkes Cause of
Trouble or Uneasiness and the rather as you know she acts by my Orders
Alas Sir said I I fear all these good Bodies have sufferd for my sake
Why said he I believe so too and there never was a Girl of your Innocence
that set a large Family in such Uproar surely But let that pass You know
both of you my Mind and in part the Reason of it I shall only say that I
have had such a Letter from my Sister that I could not have expected and
Pamela said he neither you nor I have Reason to thank her as you shall know
perhaps at my Return I go in my Coach Mrs Jewkes because I take Lady
Darnford and Mr Peterss Niece and one of Lady Darnfords Daughters and Sir
Simon and his other Daughter go in his Chariot so let all the Gates be
fastend and dont take any Airing in either of the two Chariots nor let any
body go to the Gate without you Mrs Jewkes Ill be sure said she to obey
your Honour
I will give Mrs Jewkes no Trouble Sir said I and will keep pretty much
in my Chamber and not stir so much as into the Garden without her to shew you
I will obey in every thing I can But I begin to fear Ay said he more Plots
and Contrivances dont you But Ill assure you you never had less Reason
and I tell you the Truth for I am really going to Stamford this Time and upon
the Occasion I tell you And so Pamela give me your Hand and one Kiss and I
am gone
I durst not refuse and said God bless you Sir whereever you go But I
am sorry for what you tell me about your Servants
He and Mrs Jewkes had a little Talk without the Door and I heard her say
You may depend Sir upon my Care and Vigilance
He went in his Coach as he said he should and very richly dressd which looks
like what he said But really I have had so many Tricks and Plots and
Surprizes that I know not what to think But I mourn for poor Mrs Jervis So
here is Parson Williams here is poor naughty John here is good Mrs Jervis
and Mr Jonathan turnd away for me Mr Longman is rich indeed and so need
the less matter it but I know it will grieve him And for poor Mr Jonathan I
am sure it will cut that good old Servant to the Heart Alas for me What
Mischiefs am I the Occasion of Or rather my Master whose Actions by me
have made so many of my good kind Friends forfeit his Favour for my sake
I am very sad about these things If he really loved me methinks he should
not be so angry that his Servants loved me too I know not what to think
Friday Night
I Have removed my Papers from under the Rosebush for I saw the Gardener begin
to dig near that Spot and I was afraid he would find them Mrs Jewkes and I
were looking yesterday through the Iron Gate that fronted the Elms and a
Gypseylike Body made up to us and said If Madam you will give me some
broken Victuals I will tell you both your Fortunes I said Let us hear our
Fortunes Mrs Jewkes but she said I dont like these sort of People but we
will hear what shell say to us I shant fetch you any Victuals but I will
give you some Pence said she But Nan coming out she said Fetch some Bread
and some of the cold Meat and you shall have your Fortune told Nan
This youll think like some of my other Matters a very trifling thing to
write about But mark the Discovery of a dreadful Plot which I have made by it
O bless me what can I think of this naughty this very naughty Gentleman Now
will I hate him most heartily Thus it was
Mrs Jewkes had no Suspicion of the Woman the Iron Gate being lockd and she
of the Outside and we on the Inside and so put her Hand thro She said
muttering over a Parcel of cramp Words Why Madam you will marry soon I can
tell you At that she seemd pleasd and said I am glad to hear that and
shook her fat Sides with laughing The Woman lookd most earnestly at me all the
Time and as if she had Meaning Then it came into my Head from my Masters
Caution that possibly this Woman might be employd to try to get a Letter into
my Hands and I was resolved to watch all her Motions So Mrs Jewkes said What
sort of a Man shall I have pray Why said she a Man younger than yourself
and a very good Husband hell prove I am glad of that said she and laughd
again Come Madam let us hear your Fortune
The Woman came to me and took my Hand O said she I cannot tell your
Fortune your Hand is so white and fine that I cannot see the Lines But said
she and stoopd and pulled up a little Tuft of Grass I have a Way for that
and so rubbd my Hand with the Mouldpart of the Tuft Now said she I can see
the Lines
Mrs Jewkes was very watchful of all her Ways and took the Tuft and lookd
upon it lest any thing should be in that And then the Woman said Here is the
Line of Jupiter crossing the Line of Life and Mars Odd my pretty Mistress
said she you had best take care of yourself For you are hard beset Ill
assure you You will never be marryd I can see and will die of your first
Child Out upon thee Woman said I better thou hadst never come here
Said Mrs Jewkes whispering I dont like this It looks like a Cheat
Pray Mrs Pamela go in this Moment So I will said I for I have enough of
Fortunetelling And in I went
The Woman wanted sadly to tell me more which made Mrs Jewkes threaten her
suspecting still the more And away the Woman went having told Nan her Fortune
that she would be drownd
This thing ran strongly in my Head and we went an Hour after to see if she
was lurking about and Mr Colbrand for our Guard and looking thro the Iron
Gate he spyd a Man sauntring about the middle of the Walk which filled Mrs
Jewkes with still more Suspicions But she said Mr Colbrand you and I will
walk towards this Fellow and see what he saunters there for And Nan do you
and Madam stay at the Gate
So they opend the Iron Gate and walked down towards the Man and guessing
the Woman if employd must mean something by the Tuft of Grass I cast my Eye
that way whence she pulld it and saw more Grass seemingly pulld up then I
doubted not something was there for me so I walked to it and standing over it
said to Nan Thats a pretty Sort of a wild Flower that grows yonder near that
Elm the fifth from us on the Left pray pull it for me Said she It is a
common Weed Well said I but pull it for me there are sometimes beautiful
Colours in a Weed
While she went on I stoopd and pulld up a good Handful of the Grass and
in it a Bit of Paper which I put instantly in my Bosom and dropt the Grass
and my Heart went pitapat at the odd Adventure Said I Let us go in Mrs
Ann No said she we must stay till Mrs Jewkes comes
I was all Impatience to read this Paper And when Colbrand and she returnd
I went in Said she Certainly there is some Reason for my Masters Caution I
can make nothing of this sauntring Fellow but to be sure there was some
Roguery in the Gypsey Well said I if there was she lost her Aim you see
Ay very true said she but that was owing to my Watchfulness and you was very
good to go away when I spoke to you
I went up Stairs and hasting to my Closet found the Billet to contain in
a Hand that seemd disguised and bad Spelling the following Words
»Twenty Contrivances have been thought of to let you know your Danger
but all have provd in vain Your Friends hope it is not yet too late to
give you this Caution if it reaches your Hands The Squire is
absolutely determind to ruin you And because he despairs of any other
way he will pretend great Love and Kindness to you and that he will
marry you You may expect a Parson for this Purpose in a few Days but
it is a sly artful Fellow of a broken Attorney that he has hird to
personate a Minister The Man has a broad Face pitted much with the
Smallpox and is a very good Companion So take care of yourself Doubt
not this Advice Perhaps youll have but too much Reason already to
confirm you in the Truth of it From your zealous Well wisher
Somebody«
Now my dear Father and Mother what shall we say of this truly diabolical
Master O how shall I find Words to paint my Griefs and his Deceit I have as
good as confessed I love him but indeed it was on supposing him good This
however has given him too much Advantage But now I will break this wicked
forward Heart of mine if it will not be taught to hate him O what a black
dismal Heart must he have So here is a Plot to ruin me and by my own Consent
too No wonder he did not improve his wicked Opportunities which I thought
owing to Remorse for his Sin and Compassion for me when he had such a Project
as this in Reserve Here should I have been deluded with the Hopes of a
Happiness that my highest Ambition could not have aspired to But how dreadful
must have been my Lot when I had found myself an undone Creature and a guilty
Harlot instead of a lawful Wife Oh this is indeed too much too much for your
poor Pamela to support This is the worse as I hopd all the Worst was over
and that I had the Pleasure of beholding a reclaimed Gentleman and not an
abandond Libertine What now must your poor Daughter do Now all her Hopes are
dashd And if this fails him then comes to be sure my forcible Disgrace for
this shews he will never leave till he has ruind me O the wretched wretched
Pamela
Saturday Noon One oClock
My Master is come home and to be sure has been where he said So once he has
told Truth and this Matter seems to be gone off without a Plot No doubt he
depends upon his sham wicked Marriage He has brought a Gentleman with him to
Dinner and so I have not seen him yet
Two oClock
I Am very sorrowful and still have greater Reason for just now as I was in my
Closet opening the Parcel I had hid under the Rosebush to see if it was
damagd by lying so long Mrs Jewkes came upon me by Surprize and laid her
Hands upon it for she had been looking thro the Keyhole it seems
I know not what I shall do For now he will see all my private Thoughts of
him and all my Secrets as I may say What a careless Creature I am To be
sure I deserve to be punishd
You know I had the good Luck by Mr Williamss means to send you all my Papers
down to Sunday Night the 17th Day of my Imprisonment But now these Papers
contain all my Matters from that Time to Wednesday the 27th Day of my
Distress And which as you may now perhaps never see I will briefly mention
the Contents to you
In these Papers then are included An Account of Mrs Jewkess Arts to draw
me in to approve of Mr Williamss Proposal for Marriage and my refusing to do
so and desiring you not to encourage his Suit to me Mr Williamss being
wickedly robbed and a Visit of hers to him whereby she discoverd all his
Secrets How I was inclined to get off while she was gone but was ridiculously
prevented by my foolish Fears etc My having the Key of the Backdoor Mrs
Jewkess writing to my Master all the Secrets she had discoverd of Mr
Williams and her Behaviour to me and him upon it Continuance of my
Correspondence with Mr Williams by the Tiles begun in the Parcel you had My
Reproaches to him for his revealing himself to Mrs Jewkes and his Letter to me
in Answer threatening to expose my Master if he deceivd him mentioning in it
John Arnolds Correspondence with him and a Letter which John sent and was
intercepted as it seems Of the Correspondence being carried on by a Friend of
his at Gainsborough Of the Horse he was to provide for me and one for himself
Of what Mr Williams had ownd to Mrs Jewkes and of my discouraging his
Proposals Then it contained a pressing Letter of mine to him urging my Escape
before my Master came with his halfangry Answer to me Your good Letter to me
my dear Father sent to me by Mr Williamss Conveyance in which you would have
me encourage Mr Williams but leave it to me and in which fortunately enough
you take Notice of my being uninclind to marry My earnest Desire to be with
you The Substance of my Answer to Mr Williams expressing more Patience etc
A dreadful Letter of my Master to Mrs Jewkes which by Mistake was directed
to me and one to me directed by like Mistake to her and very free
Reflections of mine upon both The Concern I expressed for Mr Williamss being
taken in deceived and ruind An Account of Mrs Jewkess glorying in her
wicked Fidelity A sad Description I gave of Monsieur Colbrand a Person he sent
down to assist Mrs Jewkes in watching me My Concern for Mr Williamss being
arrested and free Reflections on my Master for it A projected Contrivance of
mine to get away out of the Window and by the Backdoor and throwing my
Petticoat and Handkerchief into the Pond to amuse them while I got off An
Attempt that had like to have ended very dreadfully for me My further Concern
for Mr Williamss Ruin on my Account And lastly my overhearing Mrs Jewkes
brag of her Contrivance to rob Mr Williams in order to get at my Papers
which however he preserved and sent safe to you
These down to the Execution of my unfortunate Plot to escape are to the best
of my Remembrance the Contents of the Papers which this merciless Woman
seizd For how badly I came off and what followd I still have safe as I
hope sewd in my Undercoat about my Hips In vain were all my Prayers and
Tears to her to get her not to shew them to my Master For she said It had now
come out why I affected to be so much alone and why I was always writing And
she thought herself happy she said she had found these for often and often
had she searched every Place she could think of for Writings to no Purpose
before And she hoped she said there was nothing in them but what any body
might see for said she you know you are all Innocence Insolent Creature
said I I am sure you are all Guilt And so you must do your worst for now I
cant help myself and I see there is no Mercy to be expected from you
Just now my Master being coming up she went to him upon the Stairs and gave
him my Papers There Sir said she you always said Mrs Pamela was a great
Writer but I never could get at any thing of hers before He took them and
went down to the Parlour again And what with the Gypsey Affair and what with
this I could not think of going down to Dinner and she told him that too and
so I suppose I shall have him up Stairs as soon as his Company is gone
Saturday Six oClock
My Master came up and in a pleasanter manner than I expected said So
Pamela we have seized it seems your treasonable Papers Treasonable said I
very sullenly Ay said he I suppose so for you are a great Plotter but I
have not read them yet
Then Sir said I very gravely it will be truly honourable in you not to
read them but give them to me again Whom says he are they written to To
my Father Sir said I but I suppose you see to whom Indeed returnd he I
have not read three Lines as yet Then pray Sir said I dont read them but
give them to me again No that I wont said he till I have read them Sir
said I you servd me not well in the Letters I used to write formerly I think
it was not worthy your Character to contrive to get them into your Hands by
that false John Arnold for should such a Gentleman as you mind what your poor
Servant writes Yes said he by all means mind what such a Servant as my
Pamela writes
Your Pamela thought I Then the sham Marriage came into my Head and indeed
it has not been out of it since the Gypseys Affair But said he have you
any thing in these Papers you would not have me see To be sure Sir said I
there is for what one writes to ones Father and Mother is not for every body
Nor said he am I every body
Those Letters added he that I did see by Johns Means were not to your
Disadvantage Ill assure you for they gave me a very high Opinion of your Wit
and Innocence And if I had not loved you do you think I would have troubled
myself about your Letters
Alas Sir said I great Pride to me that For they gave you such an Opinion
of my Innocence that you was resolved to ruin me And what Advantage have they
brought me Who have been made a Prisoner and used as I have been between
you and your Housekeeper
Why Pamela said he a little serious why this Behaviour for my Goodness
to you in the Garden This is not of a Piece with your Conduct and Softness
there that quite charmd me in your Favour And you must not give me Cause to
think that you will be the more insolent as you find me kinder Ah Sir said
I you know best your own Heart and Designs But I fear I was too openhearted
then and that you still keep your Resolution to undo me and have only changed
the Form of your Proceedings
When I tell you once again said he a little sternly that you cannot
oblige me more than by placing some Confidence in me I will let you know that
these foolish and perverse Doubts are the worst things you can be guilty of
But said he I shall possibly account for the Cause of them in these Papers of
yours for I doubt not you have been sincere to your Father and Mother tho you
begin to make me suspect you For I tell you perverse Girl that it is
impossible you should be thus cold and insensible after what last passed in the
Garden if you were not prepossessed in some other Persons Favour And let me
add that if I find it so it shall be attended with such Effects as will make
every Vein in your Heart bleed
He was going away in Wrath and I said One Word good Sir one Word before
you read them since you will read them Pray make Allowances for all the harsh
Reflections that you will find in them on your own Conduct to me And remember
only that they were not written for your Sight and were pennd by a poor
Creature hardly used and who was in constant Apprehension of receiving from you
the worst Treatment that you could inflict upon her
If that be all said he and there be nothing of another Nature that I
cannot forgive you have no Cause for Uneasiness for I had as many Instances of
your sawcy Reflections upon me in your former Letters as there were Lines and
yet you see I have never upbraided you on that Score tho perhaps I wished
you had been more sparing of your Epithets and your Freedoms of that Sort
Well Sir said I since you will you must read them and I think I have no
Reason to be afraid of being found insincere or having in any respect told
you a Falsehood because tho I dont remember all I wrote yet I know I wrote
my Heart and that is not deceitful And remember Sir another thing that I
always declared I thought myself right to endeavour to make my Escape from this
forced and illegal Restraint and so you must not be angry that I would have
done so if I could
Ill judge you never fear said he as favourably as you deserve for you
have too powerful a Pleader for you within me And so went down Stairs
About nine oClock he sent for me down in the Parlour I went a little
fearfully and he held the Papers in his Hand and said Now Pamela you come
upon your Trial Said I I hope I have a just Judge to hear my Cause Ay said
he and you may hope for a merciful one too or else I know not what will become
of you
I expect continud he that you will answer me directly and plainly to
every Question I shall ask you In the first Place Here are several
Loveletters between you and Williams Loveletters Sir said I Well call
them what you will said he I dont intirely like them Ill assure you with
all the Allowances you desired me to make for you Do you find Sir said I
that I encouraged his Proposal or do you not Why said he you discourage his
Address in Appearance but no otherwise than all your cunning Sex do to ours to
make us more eager in pursuing you
Well Sir said I that is your Comment but it does not appear so in the
Text Smartly said says he where a Dl gottest thou at these Years all this
Knowledge and then thou hast a Memory as I see by your Papers that nothing
escapes it Alas Sir said I what poor Abilities I have serve only to make me
more miserable I have no Pleasure in my Memory which impresses things upon
me that I could be glad never were or everlastingly to forget
Well said he so much for that but where are the Accounts since you have
kept so exact a Journal of all that has befallen you previous to these here in
my Hand My Father has them Sir said I By whose Means said he By Mr
Williamss said I Well answered said he But cannot you contrive to get me a
Sight of them That would be pretty said I I wish I could have contrived to
have kept those you have from your Sight Said he I must see them Pamela or I
shall never be easy For I must know how this Correspondence between you and
Williams begun And if I can see them it shall be better for you if they
answer what these give me Hope they will
I can tell you Sir very faithfully said I what the Beginning was for I
was bold enough to be the Beginner That wont do said he for tho this may
appear a Punctilio to you to me it is of high Importance Sir said I if you
please to let me go to my Father I will send them to you by any Messenger you
shall send for them Will you so said he But I dare say if you will write for
them they will send them to you without the Trouble of such a Journey to
yourself And I beg you will
I think Sir said I as you have seen all my former Letters thro Johns
Baseness and now these thro your faithful Housekeepers officious
Watchfulness you might see all the rest But I hope you will not desire it
till I can see how much my pleasing you in this Particular will be of Use to
myself
You must trust to my Honour for that But tell me Pamela said the sly
Gentleman since I have seen these Would you have voluntarily shewn me those
had they been in your Possession
I was not aware of his Inference and said Yes truly Sir I think I
should if you commanded it Well then Pamela said he as I am sure you have
found means to continue your Journal I desire while the former Part can come
that you will shew me the succeeding O Sir Sir said I have you caught me
so But indeed you must excuse me there
Why said he tell me truly Have you not continued your Account till now
Dont ask me Sir said I But I insist upon your Answer replyd he Why then
Sir said I I will not tell an Untruth I have Thats my good Girl said he
I love Sincerity at my Heart In another Sir said I I presume you mean
Well said he Ill allow you to be a little witty upon me because it is in
you and you cannot help it But you will greatly oblige me to shew me
voluntarily what you have written I long to see the Particulars of your Plot
and your Disappointment where your Papers leave off For you have so beautiful
a manner that it is partly that and partly my Love for you that has made me
desirous of reading all you write tho a great deal of it is against myself
for which you must expect to suffer a little And as I have furnished you with
the Subject I have a Title to see the Fruits of your Pen Besides said he
there is such a pretty Air of Romance as you relate them in your Plots and my
Plots that I shall be better directed in what manner to wind up the Catastrophe
of the pretty Novel
If I was your Equal Sir said I I should say this is a very provoking way
of jeering at the Misfortunes you have brought upon me
O said he the Liberties you have taken with my Character in your Letters
set us upon a Par at least in that respect Sir replyd I I could not have
taken these Liberties if you had not given me the Cause And the Cause Sir
you know is before the Effect
True Pamela said he you chop Logick very prettily What the Duce do we
Men go to School for If our Wits were equal to Womens we might spare much Time
and Pains in our Education For Nature learns your Sex what in a long Course
of Labour and Study ours can hardly attain to. But indeed every Lady is not
a Pamela
You delight to banter your poor Servant said I
Nay continued he I believe I must assume to myself half the Merit of your
Wit too for the innocent Exercises you have had for it from me have certainly
sharpend your Invention
Sir said I could I have been without those innocent Exercises as you are
pleased to call them I should have been glad to have been as dull as a Beetle
But then Pamela said he I should not have lovd you so well But then Sir
replyd I I should have been safe easy and happy Ay maybe so and maybe
not and the Wife too of some clouterly Ploughboy
But then Sir I should have been content and innocent and thats better
than being a Princess and not so And maybe not said he for if you had had
that pretty Face some of us keen Foxhunters should have found you out and
spite of your romantick Notions which then too perhaps would not have had
such strong Place in your Mind would have been more happy with the Ploughmans
Wife than I have been with my Mothers Pamela I hope Sir said I God would
have given me more Grace
Well but resumd he as to these Writings of yours that follow your fine
Plot I must see them Indeed Sir you must not if I can help it Nothing
said he pleases me better than that in all your Arts Shifts and Stratagems
you have had a great Regard to Truth and have in all your little Pieces of
Deceit told very few wilful Fibs Now I expect youll continue this laudable
Rule in your Conversation with me Let me know then where you have found
Supplies of Pen Ink and Paper when Mrs Jewkes was so vigilant and gave you
but two Sheets at a Time Tell me Truth
Why Sir little did I think I should have such Occasion for them but when
I went away from your House I beggd some of each of good Mr Longman who gave
me Plenty Yes yes said he It must be good Mr Longman All your Confederates
are good every one of them But such of my Servants as have done their Duty
and obeyd my Orders are painted out by you as black as Devils nay so am I
too for that matter
Sir said I I hope you wont be angry but saving yourself do you think
they are painted worse than they deserve or worse than the Parts they acted
require
You say saving myself Pamela but is not that Saving a mere Compliment to
me because I am present and you are in my Hands Tell me truly Good Sir
excuse me but I fansy I may ask you Why you should think so if there was not
a little bit of Conscience that told you there was but too much Reason for it
He kissed me and said I must either do thus or be angry with you for you
are very sawcy Pamela But with your bewitching Chitchat and pretty
Impertinence I will not lose my Question Where did you hide your Paper Pens
and Ink
Some Sir in one Place some in another that I might have some left if
others should be found Thats a good Girl said he I love you for your sweet
Veracity Now tell me where it is you hide your Writtenpapers your sawcy
Journal I must beg your Excuse for that Sir said I But indeed answerd
he you will not have it for I will know and I will see them This is very
hard Sir said I but I must say you shall not if I can help it
We were standing most of this Time but he then sat down and took me by
both my Hands and said Well said my pretty Pamela if you can help it But I
will not let you help it Tell me Are they in your Pocket No Sir said I my
Heart up at my Mouth Said he I know you wont tell a downright Fib for the
World but for Equivocation no Jesuit ever went beyond you Answer me then Are
they in neither of your Pockets No Sir said I Are they not said he about
your Stays No Sir replyd I but pray no more Questions For ask me ever so
much I will not tell you
O said he I have a way for that I can do as they do abroad when the
Criminals wont confess torture them till they do But pray Sir said I Is
this fair just or honest I am no Criminal and I wont confess
O my Girl said he many an innocent Person has been put to the Torture
Ill assure you But let me know where they are and you shall escape the
Question as they call it abroad
Sir said I the Torture is not used in England and I hope you wont bring
it up Admirably said said the naughty Gentleman But I can tell you of as
good a Punishment If a Criminal wont plead with us here in England we press
him to Death or till he does plead And so now Pamela that is a Punishment
shall certainly be yours if you wont tell without
Tears stood in my Eyes and I said This Sir is very cruel and barbarous
No matter said he it is but like your Lucifer you know in my Shape And
after I have done so many heinous things by you as you think you have no great
Reason to judge so hardly of this or at least it is but of a Piece with the
rest
But Sir said I dreadfully afraid he had some Notion they were about me
if you will be obeyd in this unreasonable Matter tho it is sad Tyranny to be
sure let me go up to them and read them over again and you shall see so far
as to the End of the sad Story that follows those you have
Ill see them all said he down to this Time if you have written so far
Or at least till within this Week Then let me go up to them said I and see
what I have written and to what Day to shew them to you for you wont desire
to see every thing But I will replyd he But say Pamela tell me Truth
Are they above I was more affrighted He saw my Confusion Tell me Truth said
he Why Sir answerd I I have sometimes hid them under the dry Mould in the
Garden sometimes in one Place sometimes in another and those you have in your
Hand were several Days under a Rosebush in the Garden Artful Slut said he
Whats this to my Question Are they not about you If said I I must pluck
them out of my Hidingplace behind the Wainscot wont you see me Still more
and more artful said he Is this an Answer to my Question I have searched
every Place above and in your Closet for them and cannot find them so I will
know where they are Now said he it is my Opinion they are about you and I
never undrest a Girl in my Life but I will now begin to strip my pretty Pamela
and hope I shall not go far before I find them
I fell a crying and said I will not be used in this manner Pray Sir
said I for he began to unpin my Handkerchief consider Pray Sir do And
pray said he do you consider For I will see these Papers But maybe said
he they are tyd about your Knees with your Garters and stooped Was ever any
thing so vile and so wicked I fell on my Knees and said What can I do
what can I do If youll let me go up Ill fetch them you Will you said he
on your Honour let me see them uncurtaild and not offer to make them away
no not a single Paper I will Sir On your Honour Yes Sir And so he let
me go upstairs crying sadly for Vexation to be so used Sure nobody was ever
so servd as I am
I went to my Closet and there I sat me down and could not bear the Thoughts of
giving up my Papers Besides I must all undress me in a manner to untack them
So I writ thus
»Sir
To expostulate with such an arbitrary Gentleman I know will signify
nothing And most hardly do you use the Power you so wickedly have got
over me I have Heart enough Sir to do a Deed that would make you
regret using me thus and I can hardly bear it and what I am further to
undergo But a superior Consideration withholds me thank God it does
I will however keep my Word if you insist upon it when you have
read this but Sir let me beg you to give me time till tomorrow
Morning that I may just run them over and see what I put into your
Hands against me And I will then give my Papers to you without the
least Alteration or adding or diminishing But I should beg still to be
excused if you please But if not spare them to me but till tomorrow
Morning And this so hardly am I used shall be thought a Favour which
I shall be very thankful for«
I guessed it would not be long before I heard from him And he accordingly sent
up Mrs Jewkes for what I had promised So I gave her this Note to carry to him
And he sent word that I must keep my Promise and he would give me till
Morning but that I must bring them to him without his asking again
So I took off my Undercoat and with great Trouble of Mind unsewd them
from it And there is a vast Quantity of it I will just slightly touch upon the
Subject because I may not perhaps get them again for you to see
They begin with an Account of my attempting to get away out of the Window
first and then throwing my Petticoat and Handkerchief into the Pond How sadly
I was disappointed the Lock of the Backdoor being changed How in trying to
climb over the Door I tumbled down and was piteously bruised the Bricks
giving way and tumbling upon me How finding I could not get off and dreading
the hard Usage I should receive I was so wicked to be tempted to throw myself
into the Water My sad Reflections upon this Matter How Mrs Jewkes used me on
this Occasion when she found me How my Master had like to have been drownd in
Hunting and my Concern for his Danger notwithstanding his Usage of me Mrs
Jewkess wicked Reports to frighten me that I was to be marryd to an ugly
Swiss who was to sell me on the Weddingday to my Master Her vile way of
talking to me like a London Prostitute My Apprehensions on seeing Preparations
made for my Masters coming Their causless Fears that I was trying to get away
again when I had no Thought of it and my bad Usage upon it My Masters
dreadful Arrival and his hard very hard Treatment of me and Mrs Jewkess
insulting of me His Jealousy of Mr Williams and me How Mrs Jewkes vilely
instigated him to Wickedness And down to here I put into one Parcel hoping
that would content him But for fear it should not I put into another Parcel
the following viz
A Copy of his Proposals to me of a great Parcel of Gold and fine Cloaths and
Rings and an Estate of I cant tell what a Year and 50l a Year for the Life
of both of you my dear Parents to be his Mistress with an Insinuation that
maybe he would marry me at a Years End All sadly vile with Threatnings if
I did not comply that he would ruin me without allowing me any thing. A Copy
of my Answer refusing all with just Abhorrence But begging at last his
Goodness to me and Mercy on me in the most moving manner I could think of An
Account of his angry Behaviour and Mrs Jewkess wicked Advice hereupon His
trying to get me to his Chamber and my Refusal to go A deal of Stuff and
Chitchat between me and the odious Mrs Jewkes in which she was very wicked
and very insulting Two Notes I wrote as if to be carryd to Church to pray
for his reclaiming and my Safety which Mrs Jewkes seizd and officiously
shewd him A Confession of mine that notwithstanding his bad Usage I could
not hate him My Concern for Mr Williams A horrid Contrivance of my Masters
to ruin me being in my Room disguised in Cloaths of the Maids who lay with
me and Mrs Jewkes How narrowly I escaped it makes my Heart ake to think of
it still by falling into Fits Mrs Jewkess detestable Part in this sad
Affair How he seemd movd at my Danger and forbore his abominable Designs
and assurd me he had offerd no Indecency How ill I was for a Day or two
after and how kind he seemd How he made me forgive Mrs Jewkes How after
this and great Kindness pretended he made rude Offers to me in the Garden
which I escaped How I resented them Then I had written how kind and how good
he behavd himself to me and how he praised me and gave me great Hopes of his
being good at last Of the too tender Impression this made upon me and how I
began to be afraid of my own Weakness and Consideration for him tho he had
used me so ill How sadly jealous he was of Mr Williams and how I as I justly
could cleard myself as to his Doubts on that Score How just when he had
raised me up to the highest Hope of his Goodness he dashd me sadly again and
went off more coldly My free Reflections upon this trying Occasion
This brought Matters down from Thursday the 20th Day of my Imprisonment to
Wednesday the 41st
And there I was resolvd to end let what would come for there is only
Thursday Friday and Saturday to give an Account of and Thursday he set out to
a Ball at Stamford and Friday was the Gypsey Story and this is Saturday his
Return from Stamford And truly I shall have but little Heart to write if he
is to see all
So these two Parcels of Papers I have got ready for him against tomorrow
Morning To be sure I have always used him very freely in my Writings and
shewd him no Mercy but yet he must thank himself for it for I have only writ
Truth and I wish he had deservd a better Character at my hands as well for
his own sake as mine So tho I dont know whether ever youll see what I
write I must say that I will go tobed with remembring you in my Prayers as
I always do and as I know you do me And so God bless you Good Night
Sunday Morning
I Remember what he said of not being obliged to ask again for my Papers and
what I was forced to do and could not help it I thought I might as well do in
such a manner as might shew I would not disoblige on purpose Tho I stomachd
this matter very heavily too I had therefore got in Readiness my two Parcels
and he not going to Church in the Morning bid Mrs Jewkes tell me he was gone
into the Garden
I knew that was for me to go to him and so I went For how can I help being
at his Beck which grieves me not a little tho he is my Master as I may say
for I am so wholly in his Power that it would do me no good to incense him and
if I refused to obey him in little Matters my Refusal in greater would have the
less Weight So I went down to the Garden but as he walked in one Walk I took
another that I might not seem too forward neither
He soon spyd me and said Do you expect to be courted to come to me Sir
said I and crossd the Walk to attend him I did not know but I should
interrupt you in your Meditations this good Day
Was that the Case said he truly and from your Heart Why Sir said I I
dont doubt but you have very good Thoughts sometimes Tho not towards me I
wish said he I could avoid thinking so well of you as I do But where are the
Papers I dare say you had them about you yesterday for you say in those I
have that you will bury your Writings in the Garden for fear you should be
searchd if you did not escape This added he gave me a glorious Pretence to
search you and I have been vexing myself all Night that I did not strip you
Garment by Garment till I had found them O fie Sir said I let me not be
scard with hearing that you had such a Thought in earnest
Well said he I hope you have not now the Papers to give me for I had
rather find them myself Ill assure you
I did not like this way of Talk at all and thinking it best not to dwell
upon it I said Well but Sir you will excuse me I hope giving up my
Papers
Dont trifle with me said he Where are they I think I was very good to
you last Night to humour you as I did If you have either added or diminishd
and have not strictly kept your Promise woe be to you Indeed Sir said I I
have neither added nor diminishd But here is the Parcel that goes on with my
sad Attempt to escape and the terrible Consequences it had like to have been
followd with And it goes down to the naughty Articles you sent me And as you
know all that has happend since I hope these will satisfy you
He was going to speak but I said to drive him from thinking of any more
And I must beg you Sir to read the Matter favourably if I have exceeded in
any Liberties of my Pen
I think said he halfsmiling you may wonder at my Patience that I can be
so easy to read myself abusd as I am by such a saucy Slut Sir said I I
have wonderd you should be so desirous to see my bold Stuff and for that very
Reason I have thought it a very good or a very bad Sign What said he is your
good Sign That it may not have an unkind Effect upon your Temper at last in
my Favour when you see me so sincere Your bad Sign Why that if you can read
my Reflections and Observations upon your Treatment of me with Tranquillity
and not be movd it is a Sign of a very cruel and determind Heart Now pray
Sir dont be angry at my Boldness in telling you so freely my Thoughts You
may perhaps said he be least mistaken when you think of your bad Sign God
forbid said I
So I took out my Papers and said Here Sir they are But if you please
to return them without breaking the Seal it will be very generous And I will
take it for a great Favour and a good Omen
He broke the Seal instantly and opend them So much for your Omen said
he I am sorry for it said I and was walking away Whither now said he Sir
I was going in that you might have Time to read them if you thought fit He
put them into his Pocket and said You have more than these Yes Sir but all
that they contain you know as well as I But I dont know said he the Light
you put Things in and so give them me if you have not a Mind to be searchd
Sir said I I cant stay if you wont forbear that ugly Word Give me
then no Reason for it Where are the other Papers Why then unkind Sir if it
must be so here they are And so I gave him out of my Pocket the second Parcel
seald up as the former, with this Superscription From the naughty Articles
down thro sad Attempts to Thursday the 42d Day of my Imprisonment This is
last Thursday is it Yes Sir but now you will see what I write I will find
some other way to employ my Time For I can neither write so free nor with any
Face what must be for your Perusal and not for those I intended to divert with
my melancholy Stories
Yes said he I would have you continue your Penmanship by all means and I
assure you in the Mind I am in I will not ask you for any after these except
any thing very extraordinary occurs And I have added he another thing to tell
you That if you send for those from your Father and let me read them I may
very probably give them all back again to you And so I desire you will do it
This a little encourages me to continue my Scribbling but for fear of the
worst I will when they come to any Bulk contrive some way to hide them if I
can that I may protest I have them not about me which before I could not say
of a Truth and that made him so resolutely bent to try to find them upon me
for which I might have sufferd frightful Indecencies
He led me then to the Side of the Pond and sitting down on the Slope made me
sit by him Come said he this being the Scene of Part of your Project and
where you so artfully threw in some of your Cloaths I will just look upon that
Part of your Relation Sir said I let me then walk about at a little
Distance for I cannot bear the Thought of it Dont go far said he
When he came as I suppose to the Place where I mentiond the Bricks
falling upon me he got up and walkd to the Door and lookd upon the broken
Part of the Wall for it had not been mended and came back reading on to
himself towards me and took my Hand and put it under his Arm
Why this said he my Girl is a very moving Tale It was a very desperate
Attempt and had you got out you might have been in great Danger for you had a
very bad and lonely Way and I had taken such Measures that let you have been
where you would I would have had you
You may see Sir said I what I venturd rather than be ruind and you
will be so good as hence to judge of the Sincerity of my Professions that my
Honesty is dearer to me than my Life Romantick Girl said he and read on
He was very serious at my Reflections on what God enabled me to escape And
when he came to my Reasonings about throwing myself into the Water he said
Walk gently before and seemd so movd that he turnd away his Face from me
and I blessd this good Sign and began not so much to repent at his seeing this
mournful Part of my Story
He put the Papers in his Pocket when he had read my Reflections and Thanks
for escaping from myself and he said taking me about the Waist O my dear
Girl you have touchd me sensibly with your mournful Relation and your sweet
Reflections upon it I should truly have been very miserable had it taken
Effect I see you have been usd too roughly and it is a Mercy you stood Proof
in that fatal Moment
Then he most kindly folded me in his Arms Let us say I too my Pamela
walk from this accursed Piece of Water for I shall not with Pleasure look
upon it again to think how near it was to have been fatal to my Fairone I
thought said he of terrifying you to my Will since I could not move you by
Love and Mrs Jewkes too well obeyd me when the Terrors of your Return after
your Disappointment were so great that you had hardly Courage to stand them
but had like to have made so fatal a Choice to escape the Treatment you
apprehended
O Sir said I I have Reason I am sure to bless my dear Parents and my
good Lady your Mother for giving me something of a religious Education for
but for that and Gods Grace I should more than upon one Occasion have
attempted at least a desperate Act And I the less wonder how poor Creatures
who have not the Fear of God before their Eyes and give way to Despondency
cast themselves into Perdition
Come kiss me said he and tell me you forgive me for rushing you into so
much Danger and Distress If my Mind hold and I can see those former Papers of
yours and that these in my Pocket give me no Cause to alter my Opinion I will
endeavour to defy the World and the Worlds Censures and make my Pamela
Amends if it be in the Power of my whole Life for all the Hardships I have
inflicted upon her
All this lookd well but you shall see how strangely it was all turnd For
this Shammarriage then came into my Mind again and I said Your poor Servant
is far unworthy of this great Honour for what will it be but to create Envy to
herself and Discredit to you Therefore Sir permit me to return to my poor
Parents and that is all I have to ask
He was in a fearful Passion then And is it thus said he in my fond
conceding Moments that I am to be despisd and thus answerd Precise
perverse unseasonable Pamela begone from my Sight and know as well how to
behave in a hopeful Prospect as in a distressful State and then and not till
then shalt thou attract the Shadow of my Notice
I was startled and going to speak But he stampt with his Foot and said
Begone I tell you I cannot bear this stupid romantick Folly
One Word said I but one Word I beseech you Sir
He turnd from me in great Wrath and took down another Alley and so I went
in with a very heavy Heart and fear I was too unseasonable just at a Time
when he was so condescending But if it was a Piece of Art of his Side as I
apprehended to introduce the Shamwedding and to be sure he is very full of
Stratagem and Art I think I was not so much to blame
So I went up to my Closet and wrote thus far while he walkd about till
Dinner was ready and he is now sat down to it as I hear by Mrs Jewkes very
sullen thoughtful and out of Humour and she asks what I have done to him
Now again I dread to see him When will my Fears be over
Three oClock
Well he continues exceeding wroth He has orderd his travelling Chariot to be
got ready with all Speed What is to come next I wonder
Sure I did not say so much But see the Lordliness of a high Condition A
poor Body must not put in a Word when they take it into their Heads to be angry
What a fine Time a Person of unequal Condition would have of it if even they
were to marry such an one His poor dear Mother spoild him at first Nobody
must speak to him or contradict him as I have heard when he was a Child and
so he has not been usd to be contrould and cannot bear the least Thing that
crosses his violent Will This is one of the Blessings of a high Condition Much
good may do them with their Pride of Birth and Pride of Fortune say I All
it serves for as far as I can see is to multiply their Disquiets and every
bodys else that has to do with them
So so where will this end Mrs Jewkes has been with me from him and she
says I must get me out of the House this Moment Well said I but where am I
to be carryd next Why home said she to your Father and Mother And can it
be said I No no I doubt I shall not be so happy as that To be sure
some bad Design is on foot again To be sure it is Sure sure said I Mrs
Jewkes he has not found out some other Housekeeper worse than you She was
very angry you may well think But I know she cant be made worse than she is
She came up again Are you ready said she Bless me said I you are very
hasty I have heard of this not a Quarter of an Hour ago But I shall be soon
ready for I have but little to take with me and no kind Friends in this House
to take Leave of to delay me Yet like a Fool I cant help crying Pray said
I just step down and ask if I may not have my Papers
So I am quite ready now against she comes up with an Answer and so I will
put up these few Writings in my Bosom that I have left
I dont know what to think nor how to judge but I shall neer believe I
am with you till I am on my Knees before you begging both your Blessings Yet I
am sorry he is so angry with me I thought I did not say so much
There is I see the Chariot drawn out the Horses to the grim Colbrand
going to get a Horseback What will be the End of all this
Monday
Well where this will end I cannot say But here I am at a little poor Village
almost such an one as yours I shall learn the Name of it byandby And Robin
assures me he has Orders to carry me to you my dear Father and Mother God send
he may say Truth and not deceive me again But having nothing else to do and I
am sure I shall not sleep a Wink tonight if I was to go to bed I will write
my Time away and take up my Story where I left off on Sunday Afternoon
Mrs Jewkes came up to me with this Answer about my Papers My Master
says he will not read them yet lest he should be movd by any thing in them to
alter his Resolution But if he shall think it worth while to read them he
will send them to you afterwards to your Fathers But said she here are your
Guineas that I borrowd For all is over now I find with you
She saw me cry and said Do you repent Of what said I Nay I cant
tell said she but to be sure he has had a Taste of your satirical Flings or
he would not be so angry Oh said she and held up her Hand Thou hast a
Spirit but I hope it will now be brought down I hope so too said I
Well added I I am ready She lifted up the Window and said Ill call
Robin to take your Portmanteau Bag and Baggage said she Im glad youre
going I have no Words said I to throw away upon you Mrs Jewkes but making
her a very low Curchee I most heartily thank you for all your virtuous
Civilities to me And so adieu for Ill have no Portmanteau Ill assure you
nor any thing but these few Things that I brought with me in my Handkerchief
besides what I have on For I had all this Time worn my own bought Cloaths tho
my Master would have had it otherwise often but I had put up Paper Ink and
Pens however
So down I went and as I went by the Parlour she stept in and said Sir
you have nothing to say to the Girl before she goes I heard him say tho I did
not see him Who bid you say the Girl Mrs Jewkes in that Manner She has
offended only me
I beg your Honours Pardon said the Wretch but if I was your Honour she
should not for all the Trouble she has cost you go away scotfree No more of
this as I told you before said he What when I have such Proof that her
Virtue is all her Pride shall I rob her of that No said he let her go
perverse and foolish as she is but she deserves to go honest and she shall go
so
I was so transported with this unexpected Goodness that I opend the Door
before I knew what I did and I said falling on my Knees at the Door with my
Hands folded and lifted up O thank you thank your Honour a Million of Times
May God bless you for this Instance of your Goodness to me I will pray for you
as long as I live and so shall my dear Father and Mother And Mrs Jewkes
said I I will pray for you too poor wicked Wretch that you are
He turnd from me and went into his Closet and shut the Door He need not
have done so for I would not have gone nearer to him
Surely I did not say so much to incur all this Displeasure
I think I was loth to leave the House Can you believe it What could be
the Matter with me I wonder I felt something so strange and my Heart was so
lumpish I wonder what aild me But this was so unexpected I believe
that was all Yet I am very strange still Surely surely I cannot be like
the old murmuring Israelites to long after the Onions and Garlick of Egypt
when they had sufferd there such heavy Bondage Ill take thee O lumpish
contradictory ungovernable Heart to severe Task for this thy strange Impulse
when I get to my dear Fathers and Mothers and if I find any thing in thee
that should not be depend upon it thou shalt be humbled if strict Abstinence
Prayer and Mortification will do it
But yet after all this last Goodness of his has touched me too sensibly I
wish I had not heard it almost and yet methinks I am glad I did for I should
rejoice to think the best of him for his own sake
Well and so I went to the Chariot the same that brought me down So Mr
Robert said I here I am again a pure Sportingpiece for the Great a mere
Tennisball of Fortune You have your Orders I hope Yes Madam said he Pray
now said I dont Madam me nor stand with your Hat off to such a one as I Had
not my Master said he orderd me not to be wanting in Respects to you I would
have shewn you all I could Well said I with my Heart full Thats very kind
Mr Robert
Mr Colbrand mounted on Horseback with Pistols before him came up to me
as soon as I got in with his Hat off too What Monsieur said I are you to go
with me Part of the Way he said to see you safe I hope thats kind too in
you Mr Colbrand said I
I had nobody to wave my Handkerchief to now nor to take Leave of and so I
resignd myself to my Contemplations with this strange wayward Heart of mine
that I never found so ungovernable and awkward before
So away drove the Chariot And when I had got out of the Elmwalk and into
the great Road I could hardly think but I was in a Dream all the Time A few
Hours before in my Masters Arms almost with twenty kind Things said to me and
a generous Concern for the Misfortunes he had brought upon me and only by one
rash half Word exasperated against me and turnd out of Doors at an Hours
Warning and all his Kindness changed to Hate And I now from Three oClock to
Five several Miles off But if I am going to you all will be well again I
hope
Lackaday what strange Creatures are Men Gentlemen I should say rather
For my dear deserving good Mother tho Poverty be both your Lots has had a
better Hap and you are and have always been blest in one another! Yet this
pleases me too he was so good he would not let Mrs Jewkes speak ill of me
and scornd to take her odious unwomanly Advice O what a black Heart has this
poor Wretch So I need not rail against Men so much for my Master bad as I
have thought him is not half so bad as this Woman To be sure she must be an
Atheist Do you think she is not
We could not reach further than this little poor Place and sad Alehouse
rather than Inn for it began to be dark and Robin did not make so much Haste
as he might have done And he was forcd to make hard Shift for his Horses Mr
Colbrand and Robert too are very civil I see he has got my Portmanteau lashd
behind the Coach I did not desire it but I shall not come quite empty A
thorough Riddance of me I see Bag and Baggage as Mrs Jewkes says Well my
Story surely would furnish out a surprizing kind of Novel if it was to be well
told
Mr Robert came up to me just now and beggd me to eat something I
thankd him but said I could not eat I bid him ask Mr Colbrand to walk up
and he came but neither of them would sit nor put their Hats on What Mockado
is this to such a poor Soul as I I askd them if they were at Liberty to tell
me the Truth of what they were to do with me if not I would not desire it
They both said Robin was orderd to carry me to my Fathers And Mr Colbrand
was to leave me within ten Miles and then strike off for the other House and
wait till my Master arrivd there They both spoke so solemnly that I cannot
but believe them
But when Robin went down the other said he had a Letter to give me next
Day at Noon when we baited as we were to do at Mrs Jewkess Relations
May I not said I beg the Favour to see it tonight He seemd so loth to deny
me that I have Hopes I shall prevail on him byandby
Well my dear Father and Mother I have on great Promises of Secrecy and
making no Use of it got the Letter I will try if I can open it without
breaking the Seal and will take a Copy of it byandby For Robin is in and
out there being hardly any Room in this little House for one to be long alone
Well this is the Letter
»When these Lines are deliverd to you you will be far on your Way to
your Father and Mother where you have so long desired to be And I
hope I shall forbear thinking of you with the least Shadow of that
Fondness my foolish Heart had entertaind for you I bear you however
no Illwill but the End of my detaining you being over I would not
that you should tarry with me an Hour more than needed after the
ungenerous Preference you gave against me at a Time that I was inclined
to pass over all other Considerations for an honourable Address too
you for well I found the Tables intirely turnd upon me and that I was
in far more Danger from you than you was from me for I was just upon
resolving to defy all the Censures of the World and to make you my
Wife
I will acknowledge another Truth That had I not parted with you as
I did but permitted you to stay till I had read your Journal
reflecting as I doubt not I shall find it and till I had heard your
bewitching Pleas in your Behalf I feard I could not trust myself with
my own Resolution And this is the Reason I frankly own that I have
determind not to see you nor hear you speak for well I know my
Weakness in your Favour
But I will get the better of this fond Folly Nay I hope I have
already done it since it was likely to cost me so dear And I write
this to tell you that I wish you well with all my Heart tho you have
spread such Mischiefs thro my Family And yet I cannot but say
that I could wish you would not think of marrying in haste and
particularly that you would not have this cursed Williams But what is
all this to me now Only my Weakness makes me say That as I had
already lookd upon you as mine and you have so soon got rid of your
first Husband so you will not refuse to my Memory the Decency that
every common Person observes to pay a Twelvemonths Compliment tho
but a mere Compliment to my Ashes
Your Papers shall be faithfully returnd you and I have paid so
dear for my Curiosity in the Affection they have rivetted upon me for
you that you would look upon yourself amply revengd if you knew what
they have cost me
I thought of writing but a few Lines but I have run into Length I
will now try to recollect my scatterd Thoughts and resume my Reason
and shall find Trouble enough to replace my Affairs and my own Family
and to supply the Chasms you have made in it For let me tell you tho
I can forgive you I never can my Sister nor my Domestics for my
Vengeance must be wreakd somewhere
I doubt not your Prudence in forbearing to expose me any more than
is necessary for your own Justification and for that I will suffer
myself to be accused by you and will also accuse myself if it be
needful For I am and will ever be
Your affectionate Wellwisher«
This Letter when I expected some new Plot has affected me more than any thing
of that Sort could have done For here is plainly his great Value for me
confessd and his rigorous Behaviour accounted for in such a Manner as
tortures me much And all this wicked Gypsey Story is as it seems a Forgery
upon us both and has quite ruind me For Oh my dear Parents forgive me but
I found to my Grief before that my Heart was too partial in his Favour but
now with so much Openness so much Affection nay so much Honour too which
was all I had before doubted and kept me on the Reserve I am quite overcome
This was a Happiness however I had no Reason to expect But to be sure I must
own to you that I shall never be able to think of any body in the World but
him Presumption you will say and so it is But Love is not a voluntier
Thing Love did I say But come I hope not At least it is not I hope
gone so far as to make me very uneasy for I know not how it came nor when it
begun but creep creep it has like a Thief upon me and before I knew what was
the Matter it lookd like Love
I wish since it is too late and my Lot determind that I had not had this
Letter nor heard him take my Part to that vile Woman for then I should have
blessd myself in having escapd so happily his designing Arts upon my Virtue
but now my poor Mind is all topsyturvyd and I have made an Escape to be
more a Prisoner
But I hope since thus it is that all will be for the best and I shall
with your prudent Advice and pious Prayers be able to overcome this Weakness
But to be sure my dear Sir I will keep a longer Time than a Twelvemonth
as a true Widow for a Compliment and more than a Compliment to your Ashes
O the dear Word How kind how moving how affectionate is that Word O why
was I not a Duchess to shew my Gratitude for it but must labour under the
Weight of an Obligation even had this Happiness befallen me that would have
pressd me to Death and which I never could return by a whole Life of faithful
Love and chearful Obedience
O forgive your poor Daughter I am sorry to find this Trial so sore upon
me and that all the Weakness of my weak Sex and tender Years who never before
knew what it was to be so touchd is raisd against me and too mighty to be
withstood by me But Time Prayer and Resignation to Gods Will and the
Benefits of your good Lessons and Examples I hope will enable me to get over
this so heavy a Trial O my treacherous treacherous Heart to serve me thus
And give no Notice to me of the Mischiefs thou wast about to bring upon me But
thus foolishly to give thyself up to the proud Invader without ever consulting
thy poor Mistress in the least But thy Punishment will be the first and the
greatest and well deservest thou to smart O perfidious Traitor for giving up
so weakly thy whole Self before a Summons came and to one too who had usd
me so hardly And when likewise thou hadst so well maintaind thy Post against
the most violent and avowed and therefore as I thought more dangerous
Attacks
After all I must either not shew you this my Weakness or tear it out of my
Writing Memorandum to consider of this when I get home
Monday Morning Eleven oClock
We are just come in here to the Relations of Mrs Jewkes The first Compliment
I had was in a very impudent manner How I liked the Squire I could not
help saying Bold forward Woman Is it for you who keep an Inn to treat
Passengers at this Rate She was but in jest she said and beggd Pardon And
she came and beggd Excuse again very submissively after Robin and Mr
Colbrand had talkd to her a little
The latter here in great Form gave me before Robin the Letter which I
had given him back for that purpose And I retird as if to read it and so I
did for I think I cant read it too often tho for my Peace of Mind sake I
might better try to forget it I am sorry methinks I cannot bring you back a
sound Heart but indeed it is an honest one as to any body but me for it has
deceived nobody else Wicked thing as it is
More and more surprizing Things still
Just as I had sat down to try to eat a bit of Victuals to get ready to
pursue my Journey came in Mr Colbrand in a mighty Hurry O Madam Madam said
he Here be de Groom from de Squire B all over in a Lather Man and Horse O
how my Heart went pitapat What now thought I is to come next He went
out and presently returnd with a Letter for me and another inclosed for Mr
Colbrand This seemd odd and put me all in a Trembling So I shut the Door
and never sure was the like known found the following agreeable Contents
»In vain my Pamela do I find it to struggle against my Affection for
you I must needs after you were gone venture to entertain myself with
your Journal When I found Mrs Jewkess bad Usage of you after your
dreadful Temptations and Hurts and particularly your generous Concern
for me on hearing how narrowly I escaped drowning tho my Death would
have been your Freedom and I had made it your Interest to wish it and
your most agreeable Confession in another Place that notwithstanding
all my hard Usage of you you could not hate me and that expressed in
so sweet so soft and so innocent a manner that I flatter myself you
may be brought to love me together with the other Parts of your
admirable Journal I began to repent my parting with you But God is my
Witness for no unlawful End as you would call it but the very
contrary And the rather as all this was improvd in your Favour by
your Behaviour at leaving my House For Oh that melodious Voice
praying for me at your Departure and thanking me for my Rebuke to Mrs
Jewkes still hangs upon my Ears and quavers upon my Memory And tho I
went to bed I could not rest but about Two got up and made Thomas
get one of the best Horses ready in order to set out to overtake you
while I sat down to write this to you
Now my dear Pamela let me beg of you on the Receipt of this to
order Robin to drive you back again to my House I would have set out
myself for the Pleasure of bearing you Company back in the Chariot but
am really indisposed I believe with Vexation that I should part thus
with my Souls Delight as I now find you are and must be in spight of
the Pride of my own Heart
You cannot imagine the Obligation your Return will lay me under to
your Goodness and yet if you will not so far favour me you shall be
under no Restraint as you will see by my Letter inclosed to Colbrand
which I have not sealed that you may read it But spare me my dearest
Girl the Confusion of following you to your Fathers which I must do
if you persist to go on for I find I cannot live a Day without you
If you are the generous Pamela I imagine you to be for hitherto
you have been all Goodness where it has not been merited let me see
by this new Instance the further Excellency of your Disposition let me
see you can forgive the Man who loves you more than himself let me see
by it that you are not prepossessd in any other Persons Favour And
one Instance more I would beg and then I am all Gratitude and that is
That you would dispatch Monsieur Colbrand with a Letter to your Father
assuring him that all will end happily and that he will send to you
at my House the Letters you found means by Williamss Conveyance to
send him And when I have all my proud and perhaps punctilious Doubts
answerd I shall have nothing to do but to make you happy and be so
my self For I must be
Yours and only Yours«
Monday Morn near three oClock
O my exulting Heart how it throbs in my Bosom as if it would reproach me for
so lately upbraiding it for giving way to the Love of so dear a Gentleman
But take care thou art not too credulous neither O fond Believer Things that
we wish are apt to gain a too ready Credence with us This Sham Marriage is not
yet cleard up Mrs Jewkes the vile Mrs Jewkes may yet instigate the Mind of
this Master His Pride of Heart and Pride of Condition may again take place
and a Man that could in so little a Space first love me then hate me then
banish me his House and send me away disgracefully and now send for me again
in such affectionate Terms may still waver may still deceive thee Therefore
will I not acquit thee yet O credulous fluttering throbbing Mischief that
art so ready to believe what thou wishest And I charge thee to keep better
Guard than thou hast lately done and lead me not to follow too implicitly thy
flattering and desirable Impulses Thus foolishly dialogud I with my Heart and
yet all the time this Heart is Pamela
I opend the Letter to Monsieur Colbrand which was in these Words
»Monsieur
I Am sure youll excuse the Trouble I give you I have for good
Reasons changed my Mind and I have besought it as a Favour that Mrs
Andrews will return to me the Moment Tom reaches you I hope for the
Reasons I have given her she will have the Goodness to oblige me But
if not you are to order Robin to pursue his Directions and set her
down at her Fathers Door If she will oblige me in her Return perhaps
shell give you a Letter to her Father for some Papers to be deliverd
to you for her Which youll be so good in that Case to bring to her
here But if she will not give you such a Letter youll return with her
to me if she pleases to favour me so far and that with all Expedition
that her Health and Safety will permit for I am pretty much indisposed
but hope it will be but slight and soon go off I am
Yours etc
On second Thoughts let Tom go forward with Mrs Andrewss Letter if
she pleases to give one and you return with her for her Safety«
Now this is a dear generous Manner of treating me O how I love to be generously
used Now my dear Parents I wish I could consult you for your Opinions how
I should act Should I go back or should I not I doubt he has got too great
Hold in my Heart for me to be easy presently if I should refuse And yet this
Gypsey Information makes me fearful
Well I will I think trust in his Generosity Yet is it not too great a
Trust especially considering how I have been used But then that was while
he vowd his bad Designs and now he gives great Hope of his good ones And I
may be the means of making many happy as well as myself by placing a generous
Confidence in him
And then I think he might have sent to Colbrand and to Robin to carry me
back whether I would or not And how different is his Behaviour to that And
would it not look as if I am prepossessd as he calls it if I dont oblige
him and as if it was a silly female Piece of Pride to make him follow me to my
Fathers and as if I would use him hardly in my Turn for his having used me
ill in his Upon the whole I resolved to obey him and if he uses me ill
afterwards double will be his ungenerous Guilt Tho hard will be my Lot to
have my Credulity so justly blameable as it will then seem For to be sure the
World the wise World that never is wrong itself judges always by Events And
if he should use me ill then I shall be blamed for trusting him If well O
then I did right to be sure But how would my Censurers act in my Case
before the Event justifies or condemns the Action, is the Question
Then I have no Notion of obliging by Halves but of doing things with a
Grace as one may say where they are to be done and so I wrote the desird
Letter to you assuring you that I had before me happier Prospects than ever I
yet had and hoped all would end well And that I beggd you would send me by
Mr Thomas my Masters Groom the Bearer of it those Papers which I had sent
you by Mr Williamss Conveyance For that they imported me much for clearing
up a Point in my Conduct that my Master was desirous to know before he
resolved to favour me as he had intended But you will have that Letter
before you can have this for I would not send you this without the preceding
which now is in my Masters Hands
And so having given the Letter to Mr Thomas for him to carry to you when
he had baited and rested after his great Fatigue I sent for Monsieur Colbrand
and Robin and gave to the former his Letter and when he had read it I said
You see how things stand I am resolved to return to our Master and as he is
not so well as were to be wished the more Haste you make the better And dont
mind my Fatigue but consider only yourselves and the Horses Robin who
guessd the matter by his Conversation with Thomas as I suppose said God
bless you Madam and reward you as your Obligingness to my good Master
deserves and may we all live to see you triumph over Mrs Jewkes
I wonderd to hear him say so for I was always careful of exposing my
Master or even that naughty Woman before the common Servants But yet I
question whether Robin would have said this if he had not guessed by Thomass
Message and my resolving to return that I might stand well with his Master So
selfish are the Hearts of poor Mortals that they are ready to change as Favour
goes
So they were not long getting ready and I am just setting out back again
and I hope in God shall have no Reason to repent it
Robin put on very vehemently and when we came to the little Town where we lay
on Sunday Night he gave his Horses a Bait and said he would push for his
Masters that Night as it would be Moonlight if I should not be too much
fatigud because there was no Place between that and the Town adjacent to his
Masters fit to put up for the Night But Monsieur Colbrands Horse beginning
to give way made a Doubt between them Wherefore I said hating to lie on the
Road If it could be done I should bear it well enough I hoped and that
Monsieur Colbrand might leave his Horse when it faild at some House and come
into the Chariot This pleased them both and about twelve Miles short he left
the Horse and took off his Spurs and Holsters etc and with Abundance of
ceremonial Excuses came into the Chariot and I sat the easier for it for my
Bones ached sadly with the Jolting and so many Miles travelling in so few
Hours as I had done from Sunday Night Five oClock But for all this it was
Eleven oClock at Night when we came to the Village adjacent to my Masters and
the Horses began to be very much tired and Robin too but I said It would be
pity to put up only three Miles short of the House
So about One we reachd the Gate but every body was abed But one of the
Helpers got the Keys from Mrs Jewkes and opend the Gates and the Horses
could hardly crawl into the Stables And I when I went to get out of the
Chariot fell down and thought I had lost the Use of my Limbs
Mrs Jewkes came down with her Cloaths huddled on and lifted up her Hands
and Eyes at my Return But shewd more Care of the Horses than of me By that
time the two Maids came and I made shift to creep in as well as I could
It seems my poor Master was very ill indeed and had been upon the Bed most
part of the Day and Abraham who succeeded John sat up with him And he was
got into a fine Sleep and heard not the Coach come in nor the Noise we made
for his Chamber lay towards the Garden on the other Side the House Mrs Jewkes
said He had a feverish Complaint and had been blooded and very prudently
orderd Abraham when he awaked not to tell him I was come for fear of
surprizing him and augmenting his Fever nor indeed to say any thing of me
till she herself broke it to him in the Morning as she should see how he was
So I went tobed with Mrs Jewkes after she had caused me to drink almost
half a Pint of burnt Wine made very rich and cordial with Spices which I
found very refreshing and set me into a Sleep I little hoped for
Tuesday Morning
Getting up pretty early I have written thus far while Mrs Jewkes lies snoring
in bed fetchingup her last Nights Disturbance I long for her Rising to know
how my poor Master does Tis well for her she can sleep so purely No Love but
for herself will ever break her Rest I am sure I am deadly sore all over as
if I had been soundly beaten Yet I did not think I could have livd under such
Fatigue
Mrs Jewkes as soon as she got up went to know how my Master did and he
had had a good Night and having drank plentifully of Sackwhey had sweated
much so that his Fever had abated considerably She said to him that he must
not be surprized and she would tell him News He asked What and she said I
was come He raised himself up in his Bed Can it be said he What already
She told him I came last Night Monsieur Colbrand coming to inquire of his
Health he orderd him to draw near him and was infinitely pleased with the
Account he gave him of the Journey my Readiness to come back and my
Willingness to reach home that Night And he said Why these tender Fairones
I think bear Fatigue better than us Men But she is very good to give me such
an Instance of her Readiness to oblige me Pray Mrs Jewkes said he take
great Care of her Health and let her lie abed all Day She told him I had
been up these two Hours Ask her said he if she will be so good as to pay me a
Visit if she wont Ill rise and go to her Indeed Sir said she you must
lie still and Ill go to her But dont urge her too much said he if she be
unwilling
She came to me and told me all the above and I said I would most
willingly wait upon him For indeed I longed to see him and was much grieved he
was so ill So I went down with her Will she come said he as I enterd the
Room Yes Sir said she and she said at the first Word Most willingly Sweet
Excellence said he
As soon as he saw me he said O my beloved Pamela you have made me quite
well Im concernd to return my Acknowledgments to you in so unfit a Place and
Manner but will you give me your Hand I did and he kissed it with great
Eagerness Sir said I you do me too much Honour I am sorry you are ill I
cant be ill said he while you are with me I am well already
Well said he and kissed my Hand again you shall not repent this Goodness
My Heart is too full of it to express myself as I ought But I am sorry you
have had such a fatiguing Time of it Life is no Life without you If you had
refused me and yet I had hardly Hopes you would oblige me I should have had a
severe Fit of it I believe for I was taken very oddly and knew not what to
make of myself But now I shall be well instantly You need not Mrs Jewkes
added he send for the Doctor from Stamford as we talked Yesterday for this
lovely Creature is my Doctor as her Absence was my Disease
He beggd me to sit down by his Bedside and asked me If I had obliged him
with sending for my former Pacquet I said I had and hoped it would be
brought He said It was doubly kind
I would not stay long because of disturbing him And he got up in the
Afternoon and desird my Company and seemd quite pleasd easy and much
better He said Mrs Jewkes after this Instance of my good Pamelas
Obligingness in her Return I am sure we ought to leave her intirely at her own
Liberty and pray if she pleases to take a Turn in the Chariot or in the
Garden or to the Town or whereever she will she must be left at Liberty and
asked no Questions and do you do all in your Power to oblige her She said she
would to be sure
He took my Hand and said One thing I will tell you Pamela because I know
you will be glad to hear it and yet not care to ask me I have taken Williamss
Bond for the Money for how the poor Man had behaved I cant tell but he could
get no Bail and if I have no fresh Reason given me perhaps I shall not exact
the Payment and he has been some time at Liberty and now follows his School
but methinks I could wish you would not see him at present
Sir said I I will not do any thing to disoblige you wilfully and I am
glad he is at Liberty because I was the Occasion of his Misfortunes I durst
say no more tho I wanted to plead for the poor Gentleman which in Gratitude
I thought I ought when I could do him Service I said I am sorry Sir Lady
Davers who loves you so well should have incurrd your Displeasure and there
should be any Variance between your Honour and her I hope it was not on my
Account He took out of his Waistcoat Pocket as he sat in his Gown his
Lettercase and said Here Pamela read that when you go up Stairs and let me
have your Thoughts upon it and that will let you into the Affair He said he
was very heavy of a sudden and would lie down and indulge for that Day and if
he was better in the Morning would take an Airing in the Chariot And so I took
my Leave for the present and went up to my Closet and read the Letter he was
pleased to put into my Hands and which is as follows
»Brother
I Am very uneasy at what I hear of you and must write whether it
please you or not my full Mind I have had some People with me
desiring me to interpose with you and they have a greater Regard for
your Honour than I am sorry to say it you have yourself Could I
think that a Brother of mine would so meanly run away with my late dear
Mothers Waitingmaid and keep her a Prisoner from all her Friends and
to the Disgrace of your own But I thought when you would not let the
Wench come to me on my Mothers Death that you meant no good I blush
for you Ill assure you The Girl was an innocent good Girl but I
suppose thats over with her now or soon will What can you mean by
this let me ask you Either you will have her for a kept Mistress or
for a Wife If the former; there are enough to be had without ruining a
poor Wench that my Mother lovd and who really was a very good Girl
and of this you may be ashamd As to the other I dare say you dont
think of it but if you should you would be utterly inexcusable
Consider Brother that ours is no upstart Family but is as ancient as
the best in the Kingdom and for several Hundreds of Years it has
never been known that the Heirs of it have disgraced themselves by
unequal Matches And you know you have been sought to by some of the
first Families in the Nation for your Alliance It might be well
enough if you were descended of a Family of Yesterday or but a Remove
or two from the Dirt you seem so fond of But let me tell you that I
and all mine will renounce you for ever if you can descend so meanly
and I shall be ashamed to be called your Sister A handsome Gentleman as
you are in your Person so happy in the Gifts of your Mind that every
body courts your Company and possessd of such a noble and clear
Estate and very rich in Money besides left you by the best of Fathers
and Mothers with such ancient Blood in your Veins untainted for you
to throw away yourself thus is intolerable and it would be very wicked
in you to ruin the Wench too So that I beg you will restore her to her
Parents and give her 100 l or so to make her happy in some honest
Fellow of her own Degree and that will be doing something and will
also oblige and pacify
Your much grieved Sister
If I have written too sharply consider it is my Love to you and the
Shame you are bringing upon yourself and I wish this may have the
Effect upon you intended by your very loving Sister«
This is a sad Letter my dear Father and Mother and one may see how poor People
are despised by the Proud and the Rich and yet we were all on a foot
originally And many of these Gentlefolks that brag of their ancient Blood
would be glad to have it as wholsome and as really untainted as ours Surely
these proud People never think what a short Stage Life is and that with all
their Vanity a Time is coming when they shall be obliged to submit to be on a
Level with us and true said the Philosopher when he looked upon the Skull of a
King and that of a poor Man that he saw no Difference between them Besides
do they not know that the richest of Princes and the poorest of Beggars are
to have one great and tremendous Judge at the last Day who will not
distinguish between them according to their Qualities in Life But on the
contrary may make their Condemnations the greater as their neglected
Opportunities were the greater Poor Souls how I pity their Pride O keep me
gracious God from their high Condition if my Mind shall ever be tainted with
their Vice or polluted with so cruel and inconsiderate a Contempt of the humble
Estate which they behold with so much Scorn
But besides how do these Gentry know that supposing they could trace back
their Ancestry for one two three or even five hundred Years that then the
original Stems of these poor Families tho they have not kept such elaborate
Records of their Goodfornothingness as it often proves were not still deeper
rooted And how can they be assured that one hundred Years hence or two some
of those now despised upstart Families may not revel in their Estates while
their Descendants may be reduced to the others Dunghils And perhaps such
is the Vanity as well as Changeableness of human Estates in their Turns set up
for Pride of Family and despise the others
These Reflections occurrd to my Thoughts made serious by my Masters
Indisposition and this proud Letter of the lowly Lady Davers against the
highminded Pamela Lowly I say because she could stoop to such vain Pride
and highminded I because I hope I am too proud ever to do the like But
after all poor Wretches that we be we scarce know what we are much less what
we shall be But once more pray I to be kept from the sinful Pride of a
high Estate
On this Occasion I recall the following Lines which I have read where the Poet
argues in a much better manner
Wise Providence
Does various Parts for various Minds dispense
The meanest Slaves or those who hedge and ditch
Are useful by their Sweat to feed the Rich
The Rich in due Return impart their Store
Which comfortably feeds the labring Poor
Nor let the Rich the lowest Slave disdain
Hes equally a Link of Nature's Chain
Labours to the same End joins in one View
And both alike the Will divine pursue
And at the last are levelld King and Slave
Without Distinction in the silent Grave
Wednesday Morning
My Master sent me a Mesage just now that he was so much better that he would
take a Turn after Breakfast in the Chariot and would have me give him my
Company I hope I shall know how to be humble and comport myself as I should do
under all these Favours
Mrs Jewkes is one of the most obliging Creatures in the World and I have
such Respects shewn me by every one as if I was as great as Lady Davers But
now if this should all end in the Shammarriage It cannot be I hope Yet
the Pride of Greatness and Ancestry and suchlike is so strongly set out in
Lady Daverss Letter that I cannot flatter myself to be so happy as all these
desirable Appearances make for me Should I be now deceived I should be worse
off than ever But I shall see what Light this new Honour will procure me So
Ill get ready But I wont I think change my Garb Should I do it it would
look as if I would be nearer on a Level with him And yet should I not it may
be thought a Disgrace to him but I will I think open the Portmanteau and
for the first time since I came hither put on my best Silk Nightgown But
then that will be making myself a sort of Right to the Cloaths I had renounced
and I am not yet quite sure I shall have no other Crosses to encounter So I
will go as I am for tho ordinary I am as clean as a Penny tho I say it So
Ill een go as I am except he orders otherwise Yet Mrs Jewkes says I ought
to dress as fine as I can But I say I think not As my Master is up and at
Breakfast I will venture down to ask him how he will have me be
Well he is kinder and kinder and thank God purely recoverd How
charmingly he looks to what he did Yesterday Blessed be God for it
He arose and came to me and took me by the Hand and would set me down by
him and he said My charming Girl seemd going to speak What would you say
Sir said I a little ashamd I think it is too great an Honour to go into the
Chariot with you No my dear Pamela said he the Pleasure of your Company will
be greater than the Honour of mine and so say no more on that Head
But Sir said I I shall disgrace you to go thus You will grace a Prince
my Fairone said the good kind kind Gentleman in that Dress or any you shall
chuse And you look so pretty that if you shall not catch Cold in that
roundeard Cap you shall go just as you are But Sir said I then youll be
pleased to go a Byway that it maynt be seen you do so much Honour to your
Servant O my good Girl said he I doubt you are afraid of yourself being
talkd of more than me For I hope by degrees to take off the Worlds Wonder
and teach them to expect what is to follow as a Due to my Pamela
O the dear good Man Theres for you my dear Father and Mother Did I not
do well now to come back O could I get rid of my Fears of this Shammarriage
for all this is not yet inconsistent with that frightful Scheme I should be
too happy
So I came up with great Pleasure for my Gloves and now wait his kind
Commands Dear dear Sir said I to myself as if I was speaking to him for
Gods sake let me have no more Trials and Reverses for I could not bear it now
I verily think
At last the welcome Message came that my Master was ready and so I went
down as fast as I could and he before all the Servants handed me in as if I
was a Lady and then came in himself Mrs Jewkes beggd he would take care he
did not catch Cold as he had been ill And I had the Pride to hear his new
Coachman say to one of his Fellowservants They are a charming Pair I am
sure tis pity they should be parted O my dear Father and Mother I fear
your Girl will grow as proud as any thing! And especially you will think I have
Reason to guard against it when you read the kind Particulars I am going to
relate
He orderd Dinner to be ready by Two and Abraham who succeeds John went
behind the Coach He bid Robin drive gently and told me he wanted to talk to
me about his Sister Davers and other Matters Indeed at first setting out he
kissed me a little too often that he did and I was afraid of Robins looking
back thro the Foreglass and People seeing us as they passed but he was
exceedingly kind to me in his Words as well At last he said
You have I doubt not read over and over my Sisters sawcy Letter and find
as I told you that you are no more obliged to her than I am You see she
intimates that some People had been with her and who should they be but the
officious Mrs Jervis and Mr Longman and Jonathan And so that has made me
take the Measures I did in dismissing them my Service I see said he you are
going to speak on their Behalfs but your Time is not come to do that if ever I
shall permit it
My Sister says he I have been beforehand with for I have renounced her I
am sure I have been a kind Brother to her and gave her to the Value of 3000 l
more than her Share came to by my Fathers Will when I enterd upon my Estate
And the Woman surely was beside herself with Passion and Insolence when she
wrote me such a Letter for well she knew I would not bear it But you must
know Pamela that she is much incensed that I will give no Ear to a Proposal
of hers of a Daughter of my Lord who said he neither in Person or Mind or
Acquirements even with all her Opportunities is to be named in a Day with my
Pamela But yet you see the Plea my Girl which I made to you before of this
Pride of Condition and the Worlds Censure which I own sticks a little too
close with me still For a Woman shines not forth to the Publick as a Man and
the World sees not your Excellencies and Perfections If it did I should
intirely stand acquitted by the severest Censurers But it will be taken in the
Lump that here is Mr B with such and such an Estate has married his
Mothers Waitingmaid not considering there is not a Lady in the Kingdom that
can outdo her or better support the Condition to which she will be raised if I
should marry her And said he putting his Arm round me and again kissing me
I pity my dear Girl too for her Part in this Censure for here will she have
to combat the Pride and Slights of the neighbouring Gentry all around us Sister
Davers you see will never be reconciled to you The other Ladies will not
visit you and you will with a Merit transcending them all be treated as if
unworthy their Notice Should I now marry my Pamela how will my Girl relish all
this Wont these be cutting things to my Fairone For as to me I shall have
nothing to do but with a good Estate in Possession to brazen out the Matter
of my former Jokes on this Subject with my Companions of the Chace the Green
and the Assemblée stand their rude Jests for once or twice and my Fortune will
create me always Respect enough I warrant you But I say what will my poor
Girl do as to her Part with her own Sex For some Company you must keep My
Station will not admit it to be with my common Servants and the Ladies will fly
your Acquaintance and still tho my Wife will treat you as my Mothers
Waitingmaid What says my Girl to this
You may well guess my dear Father and Mother how transporting these kind
these generous and condescending Sentiments were to me I thought I had the
Harmony of the Spheres all around me and every Word that dropt from his Lips
was as sweet as the Honey of Hybla to me Oh Sir said I how inexpressibly
kind and good is all this Your poor Servant has a much greater Struggle than
this to go thro a more knotty Difficulty to overcome
What is that said he a little impatiently I will not forgive your Doubts
now No Sir said I I cannot doubt but it is how I shall support how I
shall deserve your Goodness to me Dear Girl said he and huggd me to his
Breast I was afraid you would have made me angry again but that I would not
be because I see you have a grateful Heart and this your kind and chearful
Return after such cruel Usage as you had experienced in my House enough to
make you detest the Place has made me resolve to bear any thing in you but
Doubts of my Honour at a Time when I am pouring out my Soul with a true and
affectionate Ardour before you
But good Sir said I my greatest Concern will be for the rude Jests you
will have to encounter with yourself for thus stooping beneath yourself For as
to me considering my lowly Estate and little Merit even the Slights and
Reflections of the Ladies will be an Honour to me And I shall have the Pride to
place more than half their illwill to their Envy at my Happiness And if I
can by the most chearful Duty and resigned Obedience have the Pleasure to be
agreeable to you I shall think myself but too happy let the World say what it
will
He said You are very good my dearest Girl But how will you bestow your
Time when you will have no Visits to receive or pay No Parties of Pleasure to
join in No Cardtables to employ your Winter Evenings and even as the Taste
is half the Day Summer and Winter And you have often playd with my Mother
too and so know how to perform a Part there as well as in the other
Diversions And Ill assure you my Girl I shall not desire you to live without
such Amusements as any Wife might expect were I to marry a Lady of the first
Quality
O Sir said I you are all Goodness How shall I bear it But do you
think Sir in such a Family as yours a Person whom you shall honour with the
Name of Mistress of it will not find useful Employments for her Time without
looking abroad for any others
In the first Place Sir if you will give me Leave I will myself look into
such Parts of the Family Oeconomy as may not be beneath the Rank to which I
shall have the Favour of being exalted if any such there can be and this I
hope without incurring the Illwill of any honest Servant
Then Sir I will ease you of as much of your Family Accounts as I possibly
can when I have convinced you that I am to be trusted with them and you
know Sir my late good Lady made me her Treasurer her Almoner and every
thing
Then Sir if I must needs be visiting or visited and the Ladies wont
honour me so much or even if they would nowandthen I will receive and pay
Visits if your Goodness will allow me so to do to the sick Poor in the
Neighbourhood around you and administer to their Wants and Necessities in such
small Matters as may not be hurtful to your Estate but comfortable to them
and intail upon you their Blessings and their Prayers for your dear Health and
Welfare
Then I will assist your Housekeeper as I used to do in the making Jellies
Comfits Sweetmeats Marmalades Cordials and to pot and candy and preserve
for the Uses of the Family And to make myself all the fine Linen of it for
yourself and me
Then Sir if you will sometimes indulge me with your Company I will take
an Airing in your Chariot nowandthen And when you shall return home from your
Diversions on the Green or from the Chace or whereever you shall please to
go I shall have the Pleasure of receiving you with Duty and a chearful
Delight and in your Absence count the Moments till you return and you will
maybe fill up the sweetest Part of my Time with your agreeable Conversation
for an Hour or two nowandthen and be indulgent to the impertinent
Overflowings of my grateful Heart for all your Goodness to me
The Breakfastingtime the Preparation for Dinner and sometimes to
entertain your chosen Friends and the Company you shall bring home with you
Gentlemen if not Ladies and the Supperings will fill up a great Part of the
Day in a very necessary manner
And maybe Sir now and then a goodhumourd Lady will drop in and I
hope if they do I shall so behave myself as not to add to the Disgrace you
will have brought upon yourself for indeed I will be very circumspect and try
to be as discreet as I can and as humble too as shall be consistent with your
Honour
Cards tis true I can play at in all the usual Games that our Sex
indulge in but this I am not fond of and shall never desire to use them but
as it may encourage such Ladies as you may wish to see not to abandon your
House for want of an Amusement they are used to
Musick which my good Lady taught me will fill up some Intervals if I
should have any
And then Sir you know I love Reading and Scribbling and tho all the
latter will be employd in the Family Accounts between the Servants and me and
me and your good Self yet Reading is a Pleasure to me that I shall be
unwilling to give up at proper times for the best Company in the World except
yours And O Sir that will help to polish my Mind and make me worthier of
your Company and Conversation and with the Explanations you will give me of
what I shall not understand will be a sweet Employment and Improvement too
But one thing Sir I ought not to forget because it is the chief my Duty
to God will I hope always employ some good Portion of my Time with Thanks
for his superlative Goodness to me and to pray for you and myself For you
Sir for a Blessing on you for your great Goodness to such an unworthy
Creature For myself that I may be enabled to discharge my Duty to you and be
found grateful for all the Blessings I shall receive at the Hands of Providence
by means of your Generosity and Condescension
With all this Sir said I can you think I shall be at a Loss to pass my
Time But as I know that every Slight to me if I come to be so happy will
be in some measure a Slight to you I will beg of you Sir not to let me go
very fine in Dress but appear only so as that you may not be ashamed of it
after the Honour I shall have of being called by your worthy Name For well I
know Sir that nothing so much excites the Envy of my own Sex as seeing a
Person set above them in Appearance and in Dress And that would bring down
upon me an hundred sawcy Things and lowborn Brats and I cant tell what
There I stopt for I had prattled a great deal and he said clasping me to
him Why stops my dear Pamela Why does she not proceed I could dwell upon
your Words all the Day long and you shall be the Directress of your own
Pleasures and your own Time so sweetly do you chuse to employ it And thus
shall I find some of my own bad Actions atond for by your exemplary Goodness
and God will bless me for your sake
O said he what Pleasure you give me in this sweet Foretaste of my
Happiness I will now defy the sawcy busy Censurers of the World and bid them
know your Excellence and my Happiness before they with unhallowd Lips
presume to judge of my Actions and your Merit And let me tell you my
Pamela that I can add my Hopes of a still more pleasing Amusement and what
your bashful Modesty would not permit you to hint and which I will no otherwise
touch upon lest it should seem to your Nicety to detract from the present
Purity of my good Intentions than to say I hope to have superadded to all
these such an Employment as will give me a View of perpetuating my happy
Prospects and my Family at the same time of which I am almost the only Male
I blushed I believe yet could not be displeased at the decent and charming
manner with which he insinuated this distant Hope And Oh judge for me how my
Heart was affected with all these things
He was pleased to add another charming Reflection which shewd me the noble
Sincerity of his kind Professions I do own to you my Pamela said he that I
love you with a purer Flame than ever I knew in my whole Life A Flame to which
I was a Stranger and which commenced for you in the Garden tho you unkindly
by your unseasonable Doubts nippd the opening Bud while it was too tender to
bear the cold Blasts of Slight or Negligence And I know more sincere Joy and
Satisfaction in this sweet Hours Conversation with you than all the guilty
Tumults of my former Passion ever did or had even my Attempts succeeded ever
could have afforded me
O Sir said I expect not Words from your poor Servant equal to these
most generous Professions Both the Means and the Will I now see are given to
you to lay me under an everlasting Obligation How happy shall I be if tho I
cannot be worthy of all this Goodness and Condescension I can prove myself not
intirely unworthy of it But I can only answer for a grateful Heart and if ever
I give you Cause wilfully and you will generously allow for involuntary
Imperfections to be disgusted with me may I be an Outcast from your House and
Favour and as much repudiated as if the Law had divorced me from you
But Sir continued I tho I was so unseasonable as I was in the Garden
you would I flatter myself had you then heard me have pardond my Imprudence
and ownd I had some Cause to fear and to wish to be with my poor Father and
Mother and this I the rather say that you should not think me capable of
returning Insolence for your Goodness or appearing foolishly ungrateful to you
when you was so kind to me
Indeed Pamela said he you gave me great Uneasiness for I love you too
well not to be jealous of the least Appearance of your Indifference to me or
Preference of any other Person not excepting your Parents themselves This made
me resolve not to hear you for I had not got over my Reluctance to Marriage
and a little Weight you know turns the Scale when it hangs in an equal
Balance But yet you see that tho I could part with you while my Anger held
yet the Regard I had then newly professd for your Virtue made me resolve not
to offer to violate it and you have seen likewise that the painful Struggle I
underwent when I began to reflect and to read your moving Journal between my
Desire to recal you and my Doubt that you would return tho yet I resolved
not to force you to it had like to have cost me a severe Illness But your kind
and chearful Return has dispelled all my Fears and given me Hope that I am not
indifferent to you and you see how your Presence has chasd away my Illness
I bless God for it said I but since you are so good as to encourage me
and will not despise my Weakness I will acknowledge that I sufferd more than
I could have imagined till I experienced it in being banishd your Presence in
so much Anger and the more still was I affected when you answerd so
generously the wicked Mrs Jewkes in my Favour at my leaving your House For
this Sir awakend all my Reverence for you and you saw I could not forbear
not knowing what I did to break boldly in upon you and acknowledge your
Goodness on my Knees Tis true my dear Pamela said he we have sufficiently
torturd one another; and the only Comfort that can result from it will be
reflecting upon the Matter coolly and with Pleasure when all these Storms are
overblown as I hope they now are and we sit together securd in each others
good Opinion recounting the uncommon Gradations by which we have ascended to
the Summit of that Felicity which I hope we shall shortly arrive at
Meantime said the good Gentleman let me hear what my dear Girl would have
said in her Justification could I have trusted myself with her as to her
Fears and the Reason of her wishing herself from me at a Time that I had begun
to shew my Fondness for her in a manner that I thought would have been
agreeable to her and Virtue
I pulled out of my Pocket the Gypsey Letter but I said before I shewd it
to him I have this Letter Sir to shew you as what I believe you will allow
must have given me the greatest Disturbance But first as I know not who is the
Writer and it seems to be in a disguisd Hand I would beg it as a Favour that
if you guess who it is which I cannot it may not turn to their Prejudice
because it was written very probably with no other View than to serve me
He took it and read it And it being signed Somebody he said Yes this is
indeed from Somebody and disguisd as the Hand is I know the Writer Dont
you see by the Settness of some of these Letters and a little Secretary Cut
here and there especially in that c and that r that it is the Hand of a
Person bred in the Lawway Why Pamela said he tis old Longmans Hand An
officious Rascal as he is But I have done with him O Sir said I it would
be too insolent in me to offer so much am I myself overwhelmd with your
Goodness to defend any body that you are angry with yet Sir so far as they
have incurrd your Displeasure for my sake and for no other Want of Duty or
Respect I could wish But I dare not say more
But said he as to the Letter and the Information it contains Let me
know Pamela when you receivd this On the Friday Sir said I that you was
gone to the Wedding at Stamford How could it be conveyd to you said he
unknown to Mrs Jewkes when I gave her such a strict Charge to attend you and
you yourself promisd me you would not throw yourself in the Way of such
Intelligence For said he when I went to Stamford I knew from a private
Intimation given me that there would be an Attempt made to see you or give you
a Letter by somebody if not to get you away but was not certain from what
Quarter whether from my Sister Davers Mrs Jervis Mr Longman or John
Arnold or your Father and as I was then but struggling with myself whether to
give way to my honourable Inclinations or to free you and let you go to your
Father that I might avoid the Danger I found myself in of the former for I had
absolutely resolved never to wound again even your Ears with any Proposals of a
contrary Nature that was the Reason I desird you to permit Mrs Jewkes to be
so much on her Guard till I came back when I thought I should have decided this
disputed Point within myself between my Pride and my Inclinations
This good Sir said I accounts well to me for your Conduct in that Case
and for what you said to me and Mrs Jewkes on that Occasion and I see more and
more how much I may depend upon your Honour and Goodness to me But I will
tell you all the Truth And then I recounted to him the whole Affair of the
Gypsey and how the Letter was put among the loose Grass etc And he said The
Man who thinks a thousand Dragons sufficient to watch a Woman when her
Inclination takes a contrary Bent will find all too little and she will engage
the Stones in the Street or the Grass in the Field to act for her and help on
her Correspondence If the Mind, said he be not engagd I see there is hardly
any Confinement sufficient for the Body and you have told me a very pretty
Story and as you never gave me any Reason to question your Veracity even in
your severest Trials I make no doubt of the Truth of what you have now
mentioned And I will in my Turn give you such a Proof of mine that you shall
find it carry Conviction with it
You must know then my Pamela that I had actually formd such a Project so
well informd was this old rascally Somebody and the Time was fixd for the
very Person describd in this Letter to be here and I had thought he should
have read some Part of the Ceremony as little as was possible to deceive you
in my Chamber and so I hopd to have you mine upon Terms that then would have
been much more agreeable to me than real Matrimony And I did not in Haste
intend you the Mortification of being undeceivd so that we might have livd
for Years perhaps very lovingly together and I had at the same time been at
Liberty to confirm or abrogate it as I pleasd
O Sir said I I am out of Breath with the Thoughts of my Danger But what
good Angel prevented this deeplaid Design to be executed
Why your good Angel Pamela said he for when I began to consider that it
would have made you miserable and me not happy that if you should have a dear
little one it would be out of my own Power to legitimate it if I should wish
it to inherit my Estate and that as I am almost the last of my Family and
most of what I possess must descend to a strange Line and disagreeable and
unworthy Persons notwithstanding that I might in this Case have Issue of my
own Body When I further considerd your untainted Virtue what Dangers and
Trials you had undergone by my Means and what a world of Troubles I had
involvd you in only because you were beautiful and virtuous which had excited
all my Passion for you and reflected also upon your tryd Prudence and Truth
I tho I doubted not effecting this my last Plot resolvd to overcome myself
and however I might suffer in struggling with my Affection for you to part with
you rather than to betray you under so black a Veil Besides said he I
rememberd how much I had exclaimd against and censurd an Action of this kind
that had been attributed to one of the first Men of the Law and of the Kingdom
as he afterwards became and that it was but treading in a Path that another had
markd out for me and as I was assurd with no great Satisfaction to himself
when he came to reflect my foolish Pride was a little piqud with this because
I lovd to be if I was out of the way my own Original as I may call it On
all these Considerations it was that I rejected this Project and sent Word to
the Person that I had better considerd of the Matter and would not have him
come till he heard farther from me And in this Suspense I suppose some of
your Confederates Pamela for we have been a Couple of Plotters tho your
Virtue and Merit have engagd you faithful Friends and Partisans which my Money
and Promises could hardly do one way or other got Knowledge of it and gave you
this Notice but perhaps it would have come too late had not your white Angel
got the better of my black one and inspird me with Resolutions to abandon the
Project just as it was to be put in Execution But yet I own that from these
Appearances you was but too well justifyd in your Fears on this odd way of
coming at this Intelligence and I have only one thing to blame you for that
tho I was resolvd not to hear you in your own Defence yet as you have so
ready a Talent at your Pen you might have cleard your Part of this Matter up
to me by a Line or two and when I had known what seeming good Grounds you had
for pouring cold Water on a young Flame that was just then rising to an
honourable Expansion I should not have imputed it as I was apt to do to
unseasonable Insult for my Tenderness to you on one hand to perverse Nicety on
the other or to what I was most alarmd by and concernd for Preposession
for some other Person And this would have savd us both much Fatigue I of
Mind you of Body
And indeed Sir said I of Mind too and I could not better manifest this
than by the Chearfulness with which I obeyd your Recalling me to your Presence
Ay that my dear Pamela said he and claspd me in his Arms was the kind
the inexpressibly kind Action that has rivetted my Affections to you and gives
me to pour out in this free and unreservd manner my whole Soul in your Bosom
I said I had the less Merit in this my Return because I was driven by an
irresistible impulse to it and could not help it if I would
This said he and honourd me by kissing my Hand is engaging indeed if
I may hope that my Pamelas gentle Inclination for her Persecutor was the
strongest Motive to her Return and I so much value a voluntier Love in the
Person I would wish for my Wife that I would have even Prudence and Interest
hardly namd in Comparison with it And can you return me sincerely the honest
Compliment I now make you that as in the Act that I hope shall soon unite us
together it is impossible that I should have any View to my Interest and that
Love true Love is the only Motive by which I am directed that were I not
what I am you could give me the Preference to any other Person in the World
that you know notwithstanding all that has passd between us Why said I
should your so much obligated Pamela refuse to answer this kind Question Cruel
as I have thought you and dangerous your Views to my Honesty You Sir are the
only Person living that ever was more than indifferent to me and before I knew
this was what I blush now to call it I could not hate you or wish you ill
tho from my Soul the Attempts you made were shocking and most distasteful to
me
I am satisfyd my Pamela said he nor do I want to see those Papers that
you have kindly written for to your Father tho I still wish to see them too
for the sake of the sweet manner in which you write your Sentiments and to have
before me the whole Series of your Sufferings that I may know whether all my
future Kindness is able to recompense you for them
In this manner my dear Father and Mother did your happy Daughter find herself
blessd by her generous Master An ample Recompence for all her Sufferings did
I think this sweet Conversation only A hundred tender Things he expressd
besides that tho they never can escape my Memory yet would be too tedious to
write down O how I blessd God and I hope ever shall for all his gracious
Favours to his unworthy Handmaid What a happy Change is this And who knows but
my kind my generous Master may put it in my Power when he shall see me not
quite unworthy of it to be a Means without injuring him to dispense around
me to many Persons the happy Influences of the Condition to which I shall be
by his kind Favour exalted Doubly blest shall I be in particular if I can
return the hundredth Part of the Obligations I owe to such honest good Parents
to whose pious Instructions and Examples under God I owe all my present
Happiness and future Prospects O the Joy that fills my Mind on these proud
Hopes on these delightful Prospects It is too mighty for me and I must sit
down to ponder all these Things and to admire and bless the Goodness of that
Providence which has thro so many intricate Mazes made me tread the Paths of
Innocence and so amply rewarded me for what it has itself enabled me to do
All Glory to God alone be ever given for it by your poor enrapturd Daughter
I will now continue my most pleasing Relation
As the Chariot was returning home from this sweet Airing he said From all that
has passd between us in this pleasing Turn my Pamela will see and will
believe that the Trials to her Virtue are all over from me But perhaps there
will be some few yet to come to her Patience and Humility For I have at the
earnest Importunity of Lady Darnford and her Daughters promised them a Sight
of my beloved Girl And so I intend to have their whole Family and Lady Jones
and Mrs Peterss Family to dine with me once in a few Days And as I believe
you would hardly chuse at present to grace the Table on the Occasion till you
can do it in your own Right I would be glad you will not refuse coming down to
us if I desire it for I would preface our Nuptials said the dear Gentleman O
what a sweet Word was that with the good Opinion of these Gentry of your
Merits and to see you and your sweet Manner will be enough for that Purpose
and so by degrees prepare my Neighbours for what is to follow And they
already have your Character from me and are disposd to admire you
Sir said I after all that has passd I should be unworthy if I could not
say that I can have no Will but yours and however awkwardly I shall behave in
such Company weighd down with the Sense of your Obligations on one Side and
my own Unworthiness with their Observations on the other I will not scruple
to obey you
I am obligd to you Pamela said he and pray be only dressd as you are
for as they know your Condition and I have told them the Story of your present
Dress and how you came by it one of the young Ladies begs it as a Favour that
they may see you just as you are And I am the rather pleasd it should be so
because they will perceive you owe nothing to Dress and make a much better
Figure with your own native Stock of Loveliness than the greatest Ladies do in
the most splendid Attire and stuck out with the most glittering Jewels
O Sir said I your Goodness beholds your poor Servant in a Light greatly
beyond her Merit But it must not be expected that others Ladies especially
will look at me with your favourable Eyes But nevertheless I should be best
pleasd to wear always this humble Garb till you for your own sake shall
order it otherwise For oh Sir said I I hope it will be always my Pride to
glory most in your Goodness and it will be a Pleasure to me to shew every one
that with respect to my Happiness in this Life I am intirely the Work of your
Bounty and to let the World see from what a lowly Original you have raisd me
to Honours that the greatest Ladies would rejoice in
Admirable Pamela said he excellent Girl Surely thy Sentiments are
superior to those of all thy Sex I might have addressed a hundred fine
Ladies but never surely could have had Reason to admire one as I do you
As my dear Father and Mother I repeat these generous Sayings only as they
are the Effect of my Masters Goodness and am far from presuming to think I
deserve one of them so I hope you will not attribute it to my Vanity for I do
assure you I think I ought rather to be more humble as I am more obligd For
it must be always a Sign of a poor Condition to receive Obligations one cannot
repay as it is of a rich Mind when it can confer them without expecting or
needing a Return It is on one side the State of the human Creature compard
on the other to the Creator and so with due Deference may be said to be
Godlike and that is the highest that can be said
The Chariot brought us home at near the Hour of Two and blessed be God my
Master is pure and well and chearful and that makes me hope he does not repent
him of his Goodness He handed me out of the Chariot and to the Parlour with
the same Goodness that he shewd when he put me in it before several of the
Servants Mrs Jewkes came to inquire how he did Quite well Mrs Jewkes said
he quite well I thank God and this good Girl for it I am glad of it said
she but I hope you are not the worse for my Care and my Doctoring you No
but the better Mrs Jewkes said he you have much obligd me by both
Then he said Mrs Jewkes you and I have used this good Girl very hardly
I was afraid Sir said she I should be the Subject of her Complaints I
assure you said he she has not opend her Lips about you We have had quite a
different Subject to talk of and I hope she will forgive us both you
especially she must because you have done nothing but by my Orders But I only
mean that the necessary Consequence of those Orders has been very grievous to
my Pamela And now comes our Part to make her Amends if we can
Sir said she I always said to Madam as she calld me that you was very
good and very forgiving No said he I have been stark naught and it is she
I hope will be very forgiving But all this Preamble is to tell you Mrs
Jewkes that now I desire youll study to oblige her as much as to obey me
you was forcd to disoblige her before And youll remember that in every thing
she is to be her own Mistress
Yes said she and mine too I suppose Sir Ay said the generous
Gentleman I believe it will be so in a little Time Then said she I know
how it will go with me And so put her Handkerchief to her Eyes Pamela said
my Master comfort poor Mrs Jewkes
This was very generous already to seem to put her in my Power and I took
her by the Hand and said I shall never take upon myself Mrs Jewkes to make
a bad Use of any Opportunities that may be put into my Hands by my generous
Master nor shall I ever wish to do you Prejudice if I might For I shall
consider that what you have done was in Obedience to a Will which it will
become me also to submit to and so tho we shall be acted very differently as
to the Effects yet as these Effects proceed from one Cause it shall be always
reverenced by me
See there Mrs Jewkes said my Master we are both in generous Hands and
indeed if she did not pardon you I should think she but half forgave me
because you acted by my Instructions Well said she God bless you both
together since it must be so and I will double my Diligence to oblige my Lady
as I find she will soon be
O my dear Father and Mother now pray for me on another Score for fear I should
grow too proud and be giddy and foolish with all these promising Things so
soothing to the Vanity of my Years and Sex But even to this Hour can I pray
that God would remove from me all these delightful Prospects if they should so
corrupt my Mind as to make me proud and vain and not acknowledge with
thankful Humility the blessed Providence which has so visibly conducted me
thro the dangerous Paths I have trod to this happy Moment
My Master was pleasd to say that he thought I might as well dine with him as
he was alone But I said I beggd he would excuse me for fear so much Excess
of Goodness and Condescension all at once should turn my Head and that he
would by slower Degrees bring on my Happiness lest I should not know how to
bear it
Persons that doubt themselves said he seldom do amiss And if there was
any Fear of what you say you could not have had it in your Thoughts For none
but the Presumptuous the Conceited and the Thoughtless err capitally But
nevertheless said he I have such an Opinion of your Prudence that I shall
generally think what you do right because it is you that do it
Sir said I your kind Expressions shall not be thrown away upon me if I
can help it for they will task me with the Care of endeavouring to deserve
your good Opinion and your Approbation as the best Rule of my Conduct
Being then about to go up Stairs Permit me Sir said I looking about me
with some Confusion to see nobody was there thus on my Knees to thank you as
I often wanted to do in the Chariot for all your Goodness to me which shall
never I hope be cast away upon me And so I had the Boldness to kiss his Hand
I wonder since how I came to be so forward but what could I do My poor
grateful Heart was like a too full River which overflows its Banks and it
carryd away my Fear and my Shamefacedness as that does all before it on the
Surface of the Waters
He claspd me in his Arms with Transport and condescendingly kneeld by
me and kissing me said O my dear obliging good Girl on my Knee as you on
yours I vow to you everlasting Truth and Fidelity and may God but bless us
both with half the Pleasures that seem to lie before us and we shall have no
Reason to envy the Felicity of the greatest Princes O Sir said I how shall I
support so much Goodness I am poor indeed in every thing compard to you
And how far very far do you in every generous Way leave me behind you
He raisd me and as I bent towards the Door led me to the Stairs Foot and
saluting me there again I went up to my Closet and threw myself on my Knees in
Raptures of Joy and blessd that gracious God who had thus changd my Distress
to Happiness and so abundantly rewarded me for all the Sufferings I had passd
thro And Oh how light how very light do all those Sufferings now appear
which then my repining Mind made so formidable to me Hence in every State of
Life and in all the Changes and Chances of it for the future will I trust in
Providence who knows what is best for us and frequently turns the very Evils
we most dread to be the Causes of our Happiness and of our Deliverance from
greater My Experiences young as I am as to this great Point of Reliance in
God are strong tho my Judgment in general may be weak and unformed but
youll excuse these Reflections because they are your beloved Daughters and
so far as they are not amiss derive themselves from the Benefit of yours and my
late good Ladys Examples and Instructions
I have wrote a vast deal in a little Time And shall only say to conclude this
delightful Wednesday That in the Afternoon my good Master was so well that he
rode out on Horseback and came home about Nine at Night and then came up to
me and seeing me with Pen and Ink before me in my Closet said I come only to
tell you I am very well my Pamela and as I have a Letter or two to write I
will leave you to proceed in yours as I suppose that was your Employment for
I had put by my Paper at his coming up and so he saluted me bid me Goodnight
and went down and I finishd down to this Place before I went tobed Mrs
Jewkes told me if it was more agreeable to me she would lie in another Room
but I said No thank you Mrs Jewkes pray let me have your Company And she
made me a fine Curchee and thankd me How Times are alterd
Thursday
This Morning my Master came up to me and talkd with me on various Subjects for
a good while together in the most kind manner Among other Things he askd me
if I chose to order any new Cloaths against my Marriage O how my Heart
flutters when he mentions this Subject so freely I said I left every thing to
his good Pleasure only repeating my Request for the Reasons aforegiven that
I might not be too fine
He said I think my Dear it shall be very private I hope you are not
afraid of a Shammarriage and pray get the Service by Heart that you may see
nothing is omitted I glowd between Shame and Delight O how I felt my Cheeks
burn
I said I feard nothing I apprehended nothing but my own Unworthiness
Said he I think it shall be done within these Fourteen Days from this Day at
this House O how I trembled but not with Grief you may believe What says
my Girl Have you to object against any Day of the next Fourteen because my
Affairs require me to go to my other House and I think not to stir from this
till I am happy in you
I have no Will but yours said I all glowing like the Fire as I could
feel But Sir did you say in the House Ay said he for I care not how
privately it be done and it must be very publick if we go to Church It is a
Holy Rite Sir said I and would be better methinks in a Holy Place
I see said he most kindly my lovely Maids Confusion and your trembling
Tenderness shews I ought to oblige you all I may Therefore I will order my
own little Chapel which has not been usd for two Generations for any thing
but a Lumberroom because our Family seldom resided here long together to be
cleard and cleand and got ready for the Ceremony if you dislike your own
Chamber or mine
Sir said I that will be better than the Chamber and I hope it will never
be lumberd again but kept to the Use for which as I presume it has been
consecrated O yes said he it has been consecrated and that many Ages ago in
my Great Greatgrandfathers Time who built that and the good old House
together
But now my good Girl if I do not too much add to your sweet Confusion
shall it be in the first Seven Days or the second of this Fortnight I lookd
down quite out of Countenance Tell me said he
In the Second if you please Sir said I As you please said he most
kindly but I should thank you Pamela if you chuse the first Id rather Sir
if you please said I have the second Well said he be it so but dont defer
it to the last Day of the Fourteen
Pray Sir said I since you embolden me to talk on this important Subject
may I not send my dear Father and Mother word of my Happiness Yes you may
said he but charge them to keep it secret till you or I direct the contrary
And I told you I would see no more of your Papers but I meant I would not
without your Consent But if you will shew them to me and now I have no other
Motive for my Curiosity but the Pleasure I take in reading what you write I
shall acknowledge it as a Favour
If Sir said I you will be pleasd to let me write over again one Sheet I
will tho I had relyd upon your Word and not wrote them for your Perusal
What is that said he tho I cannot consent to it beforehand For I more desire
to see them because they are your true Sentiments at the Time and because they
were not written for my Perusal Sir said I What I am loth you should see are
very severe Reflections on the Letter I receivd by the Gypsey when I
apprehended your Design of the Shammarriage tho there are other things I
would not have you see but that is the worst It cant be worse said he my
dear Saucebox than I have seen already and I will allow your treating me in
ever so black a Manner on that Occasion because it must have a very black
Appearance to you Well Sir said I I think I will obey you before Night
But dont alter a Word said he I wont Sir replyd I since you order it
While we were talking Mrs Jewkes came up and said Thomas was returnd O
said my Master let him bring up the Papers For he hopd and so did I that
you had sent them by him But it was a great Balk when he came up and said
Sir Mr Andrews did not care to deliver them and would have it that his
Daughter was forcd to write that Letter to him And indeed Sir said he the
old Gentleman took on sadly and would have it that his Daughter was undone or
else he said she would not have turnd back when on her Way as I told him
she did said Thomas instead of coming to them I began to be afraid now that
all would be bad for me again
Well Tom said he dont mince the Matter Tell me before Mrs Andrews
what they said Why Sir both he and Goody Andrews after they had conferrd
together upon your Letter Madam came out weeping bitterly that grievd my
very Heart and they said Now all was over with their poor Daughter and either
she had wrote that Letter by Compulsion or had yielded to your Honour so they
said and was or would be ruind
My Master seemd vexd as I feard And I said Pray Sir be so good to
excuse the Fears of my honest Parents They cannot know your Goodness to me
And so said he without answering me they refusd to deliver the Papers
Yes and please your Honour said Thomas tho I told them that you Madam of
your own Accord on a Letter I had brought you very chearfully wrote what I
carryd But the old Gentleman said Why Wife there are in these Papers
twenty Things nobody should see but ourselves and especially not the Squire O
the poor Girl has had so many Stratagems to contend with that now at last she
has met with one that has been too hard for her And can it be possible for us
to account for her setting out to come to us in such Posthaste and when she
had got above Halfway to send us this Letter and to go back again of her own
Accord as you say when we know that all her Delight would have been to come to
us and to escape from the Perils she has been so long contending with And
then and please your Honour he said he could not bear this for his Daughter
was ruind to be sure before now And so said he the good old Couple sat
themselves down and Handinhand leaning upon each others Shoulder did
nothing but lament I was said he piteously grievd but all I could say
could not comfort them nor would they give me the Papers tho I told them I
should deliver them only to Mrs Andrews herself And so and please your
Honour I was forced to come away without them
My good Master saw me all bathd in Tears at this Description of your
Distress and Fears for me and he said I would not have you take on so I am
not angry with your Father in the main he is a good Man and I would have you
write out of Hand and it shall be sent by the Post to Mr Atkins who lives
within two Miles of your Father and Ill inclose it in a Cover of mine in
which Ill desire Mr Atkins the Moment it comes to his Hand to convey it
safely to your Father or Mother And say nothing of their sending the Papers
that it may not make them uneasy for I want not now to see them on any other
Score than that of mere Curiosity and that will do at any Time And so saying
he saluted me before Thomas and with his own Handkerchief wipd my Eyes and
said to Thomas The good old Folks are not to be blamd in the main They dont
know my honourable Intentions by their dear Daughter Who Tom will in a
little Time be your Mistress tho I shall keep the Matter private some Days
and would not have it spoken of by my Servants out of my House
Thomas said God bless your Honour You know best And I said O Sir you
are all Goodness How kind is this to forgive the Disappointment instead of
being angry as I feard you would Thomas then withdrew And my Master said I
need not remind you of writing out of Hand to make the good Folks easy And I
will leave you to yourself for that Purpose only send me down such of your
Papers as you are willing I should see with which I shall entertain myself for
an Hour or two But one Thing added he I forgot to tell you the neighbouring
Gentry I mentioned will be here tomorrow to dine with me and I have orderd
Mrs Jewkes to prepare for them And must I Sir said I be shewn to them O
yes said he thats the chief Reason of their coming And youll see no body
equal to yourself dont be concernd
I opend my Papers as soon as my Master had left me and laid out those
beginning on the Thursday Morning he set out for Stamford with the Morning
Visit he made me before I was up and the Injunctions of Watchfulness etc to
Mrs Jewkes the next Days Gypsey Affair and my Reflections in which I calld
him truly diabolical and was otherwise very severe on the strong Appearances
the Matter had then against him His Return on Saturday with the Dread he put
me in on the offering to search me for my Papers which followed those he had
got by Mrs Jewkess Means My being forcd to give them up His Carriage to me
after he had read them and Questions to me His great Kindness to me on seeing
the Dangers I had escapd and the Troubles I had undergone And how I
unseasonably in the midst of his Goodness expressd my Desire of being sent to
you having the Intelligence of a Shammarriage from the Gypsey in my
Thoughts How this inragd him and made him turn me that very Sunday out of his
House and send me on my Way to you The Particulars of my Journey and my Grief
at parting with him and my free Acknowledgments to you that I found unknown
to myself I had begun to love him and could not help it His sending after me
to beg my Return but yet generously leaving me at my Liberty when he might
have forcd me to return whether I was willing or not My Resolution to oblige
him and fatiguing Journey back My Concern for his Illness on my Return His
kind Reception of me and shewing me his Sister Daverss angry Letter against
his Behaviour to me desiring him to set me free and threatening to renounce
him as a Brother if he should degrade himself by marrying me My serious
Reflections on this Letter etc all which I hope with the others you will
shortly see and this carryd Matters down to Tuesday Night last
All that followd was so kind of his Side being our Chariot Conference as
above on Wednesday Morning and how good he has been ever since that I thought
I would go no farther for I was a little ashamd to be so very open on that
tender and most grateful Subject tho his great Goodness to me deserves all the
Acknowledgments I can possibly make
And when I had lookd these out I carried them down myself into the Parlour
to him and said putting them into his Hands Your Allowances good Sir as
heretofore and if I have been too open and free in my Reflections or
Declarations let my Fears on one Side and my Sincerity on the other be my
Excuse You are very obliging my good Girl said he You have nothing to
apprehend from my Thoughts any more than from my Actions
So I went up and wrote the Letter to you briefly acquainting you with my
present Happiness and my Masters Goodness and expressing that Gratitude of
Heart which I owe to the kindest Gentleman in the World and assuring you that
I should soon have the Pleasure of sending back to you not only those Papers
but all that succeeded them to this Time as I know you delight to amuse
yourself in your Leisure Hours with my Scribble and I said carrying it down to
my Master before I seald it Will you please Sir to take the Trouble of
reading what I write to my dear Parents Thank you Pamela said he and set me
on his Knee while he read it and seemd much pleasd with it and giving it me
again you are very happy said he my beloved Girl in your Style and
Expressions And the affectionate Things you say of me are inexpressibly
obliging and again with this Kiss said he do I confirm for Truth all that
you have promisd for my Intentions in this Letter O what Halcyon Days are
these God continue them A Change now would kill me quite
He went out in his Chariot in the Afternoon and in the Evening returnd
and sent me Word he would be glad of my Company for a little Walk in the
Garden and down I went that very Moment
He came to meet me So said he how does my dear Girl do now Who do you
think I have seen since I have been out I dont know Sir said I Why said
he there is a Turning in the Road about five Miles off that goes round a
Meadow that has a pleasant Footway by the Side of a little Brook and a
double Row of Limes on each Side where now and then the Gentry in the
Neighbourhood walk and angle and divert themselves Ill shew it you next
Opportunity And I stept out of my Chariot to walk cross this Meadow and bid
Robin meet me with it on the further Part of it And who should I spy there
walking with a Book in his Hand reading but your humble Servant Mr Williams
Dont blush Pamela said he As his Back was to me I thought I would speak
to the Man and before he saw me I said How do you old Acquaintance for
said he you know we were of one College for a Twelvemonth I thought the Man
would have jumpd into the Brook he gave such a Start at hearing my Voice and
seeing me
Poor Man said I Ay said he but not too much of your poor Man in that
soft Accent neither Pamela Said I I am sorry my Voice is so startling to
you Mr Williams What are you reading Sir said he and stammerd with the
Surprize It is the French Telemachus for I am about perfecting myself if I
can in the French Tongue Thought I I had rather so than perfecting my
Pamela in it You do well replyd I Dont you think that yonder Cloud may
give us a small Shower and it did a little begin to wet He said he believd
not much
If said I you are for the Village Ill give you a Cast for I shall call
at Sir Simons in my Return from the little Round I am taking He askd me If
it was not too great a Favour No said I dont talk of that let us walk to
the further Opening there and we shall meet my Chariot
So Pamela continued my Master we fell into Conversation as we walkd He
said he was very sorry he had incurrd my Displeasure and the more as he had
been told by Lady Jones who had it from Sir Simons Family that I had a more
honourable View than at first was apprehended I said We Fellows of Fortune
Mr Williams take sometimes a little more Liberty with the World than we ought
to do wantoning very probably as you contemplative Folks would say in the
Sunbeams of a dangerous Affluence and cannot think of confining ourselves to
the common Paths tho the safest and most eligible after all And you may
believe I could not very well like to be supplanted in a View that lay next my
Heart and that by an old Acquaintance whose Good before this Affair I was
studious to promote
I would only say Sir said he that my first Motive was intirely such as
became my Function And very politely said my Master he added And I am very
sure that however inexcusable I might seem in the Progress of the Matter
yourself Sir would have been sorry to have it said you had cast your Thoughts
on a Person that nobody could have wishd for but yourself
Well Mr Williams said I I see you are a Man of Gallantry as well as
Religion But what I took most amiss was that if you thought me doing a wrong
Thing you did not expostulate with me as your Function might allow you upon
it but immediately determind to counterplot me and to turn as much an
Intriguer for a Parson as I was for a Laick and attempt to secure to yourself
a Prize you would have robbd me of and that from my own House But the Matter
is at an End and I retain not any Malice upon it tho you did not know but I
should at last do honourably by her as I actually intend
I am sorry for myself Sir said he that I should so unhappily incur your
Displeasure but I rejoice for her sake in your honourable Intentions Give me
Leave only to say That if you make Mrs Andrews your Lady she will do Credit
to your Choice with every body that sees her or comes to know her and for
Person and Mind both you may challenge the County
In this manner said my Master did the Parson and I confabulate and I set
him down at his Lodgings in the Village But he kept your Secret Pamela and
would not own that you gave Encouragement to his Address as to Matrimony
Indeed Sir said I he could not say that I did and I hope you believe me
I do I do said he but tis still my Opinion that if when I saw Plots set up
against my Plots I had not as I had discoverd the Parson it might have gone
to a Length that would have put our present Situation out of both our Powers
Sir said I when you consider that my utmost Presumption could not make me
hope for the Honour you now seem to design me that therefore I had no Prospect
before me but Dishonour and was so hardly usd into the Bargain I should have
seemd very little in Earnest in my Professions of Honesty if I had not
endeavourd to get away But yet I resolvd not to think of Marriage for I
never saw the Man I could love till your Goodness emboldend me to look up to
you
I should my dear Pamela said he make a very ill Compliment to my Vanity
if I did not believe you tho at the same time Justice calls upon me to own
that it is all Things considerd beyond my Merit
There was a sweet noble Expression for your poor Daughter my dear Father
and Mother And from my Master too
I was glad to hear this Account of the Interview between Mr Williams and
himself but I dard not to say so I hope in Time he will be reinstated in his
good Graces
He was so good as to tell me he had given Orders for the Chapel to be
cleard O how I look forward with inward Joy yet with Fear and Trembling
Friday
About Twelve oClock came Sir Simon and his Lady and two Daughters and Lady
Jones and a Sisterinlaw of hers and Mr Peters and his Spouse and Niece
Mrs Jewkes who is more and more obliging was much concernd I was not dressd
in some of my best Cloaths and made me many Compliments
They all went into the Garden for a Walk before Dinner and I understood
were so impatient to see me that my Master took them into the largest Alcove
after they had walkd two or three Turns and stept himself to me Come my
Pamela said he the Ladies cant be satisfyd without seeing you and I desire
youll come I said I was ashamd but I would obey him Said he The two young
Ladies are dressd out in their best Attire but they make not such an
Appearance as my charming Girl in this ordinary Garb Sir said I shant I
follow you there for I cant bear you should do me so much Honour Well said
he Ill go before you And he bid Mrs Jewkes bring a Bottle or two of Sack
and some Cake So he went down to them
This Alcove fronts the longest Gravel Walk in the Garden so that they saw
me all the Way I came for a good Way and my Master told me afterwards with
Pleasure all they said of me
Will you forgive the little vain Slut your Daughter if I tell you all as
he was pleasd to tell me He said spying me first Look there Ladies comes
my pretty Rustick They all I saw which dashd me stood at the Windows and
in the Doorway looking full at me
My Master told me that Lady Jones said She is a charming Creature I see
that at this Distance And Sir Simon it seems who has been a sad Rake in his
younger Days swore he never saw so easy an Air so fine a Shape and so
graceful a Presence The Lady Darnford said I was a sweet Girl And Mrs
Peters said very handsome Things Even the Parson said I should be the Pride of
the County O dear Sirs all this was owing to the Light my good Masters Favour
placd me in which made me shine out in their Eyes beyond my Deserts He said
the young Ladies blushd and envyd me
When I came near he saw me dashd and confusd and was so good to meet me
Give me your Hand said he my good Girl you walk too fast for indeed I wanted
to be out of their gazing I did so with a Curchee and he led me up the Steps
of the Alcove and in a most Gentlemanlike Manner presented me to the Ladies
and they all saluted me and said They hopd to be better acquainted with me
and Lady Darnford was pleasd to say I should be the Flower of their
Neighbourhood Sir Simon said Good Neighbour by your Leave and saluting me
added Now will I say that I have kissd the loveliest Maiden in England But
for all this methought I owd him a Grudge for a Telltale tho all had turnd
out so happily Mr Peters very gravely followd his Example and said like a
Bishop God bless you fair Excellence Said Lady Jones Pray dear Madam sit
down by me And they all sat down but I said I would stand if they pleasd
No Pamela said my Master Pray sit down with these good Ladies my Neighbours
They will indulge it to you for my sake till they know you better and for
your own when they are acquainted with you Sir said I I shall be proud to
deserve their Indulgence
They all so gazd at me that I could not look up for I think it is one of
the Distinctions of Persons of Condition and wellbred People to put bashful
Bodies out of Countenance Well Sir Simon said my Master what say you now to
my pretty Rustick He swore a great Oath that he should better know what to
say to me if he was as young as himself Lady Darnford said You will never
leave Sir Simon
Said my Master You are a little confusd my good Girl and out of Breath
but I have told all my kind Neighbours here a good deal of your Story and your
Excellence Yes said Lady Darnford my dear Neighbour as I will call you we
that are here present have all heard of your uncommon Story Madam said I you
have then heard what must make your kind Allowance for me very necessary No
said Mrs Peters we have heard what will always make you valued as an Honour to
our Sex and as a worthy Pattern for all the young Ladies in the County You are
very good Madam said I to make me able to look up and be thankful for the
Honour you are all pleasd to do me
Mrs Jewkes came in with the Canary brought by Nan to the Alcove and some
Cake on a Silver Salver and I said Mrs Jewkes let me be your Assistant I
will serve the Ladies with the Cake And so I took the Salver and went round to
the good Company with it ending with my Master The Lady Jones said she never
was servd with such a Grace and it was giving me too much Trouble O Madam
said I I hope my good Masters Favour will never make me forget that it is my
Duty to wait upon his Friends Master sweet one said Sir Simon I hope you
wont always call the Squire by that Name for fear it should become a Fashion
for all our Ladies to do the like thro the County I Sir said I shall have
many Reasons to continue this Style which cannot affect your good Ladies
Sir Simon said Lady Jones you are very arch upon us but I see very well
that it will be the Interest of all the Gentlemen to bring their Ladies into an
Intimacy with one that can give them such a good Example I am sure then Madam
said I it must be after I have been polishd and improvd by the Honour of such
an Example as yours
They all were very good and affable and the young Lady Darnford who had
wishd to see me in this Dress said I beg your Pardon dear Miss as she
calld me but I had heard how sweetly this Garb became you and was told the
History of it and I beggd it as a Favour that you might oblige us with your
Appearance in it I am much obligd to your Ladyship said I that your kind
Prescription was so agreeable to my Choice Why said she was it your Choice
then I am glad of that Tho I am sure your Person must give and not take
Ornament from any Dress
You are very kind Madam said I But there will be the less Reason to fear
I should forget the high Obligations I shall have to the kindest of Gentlemen
when I can delight to shew the humble Degree from which his Goodness has raisd
me My dear Pamela said my Master if you proceed at this Rate I must insist
upon your first Seven Days You know what I mean Sir said I you are all
Goodness
They drank a Glass of Sack each and Sir Simon would make me do so saying
It is a Reflection Madam upon all the Ladies if you dont do as they do No
Sir Simon said I that cant be because the Ladies Journey hither makes a
Glass of Canary a proper Cordial for them But I wont refuse because I will do
myself the Honour of drinking good Health to you and all this worthy Company
Said good Lady Darnford to my Master I hope Sir we shall have Mrs
Andrewss Company at Table He said very obligingly Madam it is her Time now
and I will leave it to her Choice If my good Ladies then will forgive me
Sir said I I had rather be excused They all said I must not be excused I
beggd I might Your Reason for it my dear Pamela said my Master as the
Ladies request it I wish you would oblige them Sir replyd I your Goodness
will make me every Day worthier of the Honour the Ladies do me and when I can
persuade myself that I am more worthy of it than at present I shall with great
Joy embrace all the Opportunities they will be pleased to give me
Mrs Peters whisperd Lady Jones as my Master told me afterwards Did you
ever see such Excellence such Prudence and Discretion Never in my Life said
the other good Lady She will adorn she was pleasd to say her Distinction
Ay said Mrs Peters she would adorn any Station in Life
My good Master was highly delighted generous Gentleman as he is with the
favourable Opinion of the Ladies and I took the more Pleasure in it because
their Favour seemd to lessen the Disgrace of his stooping so much beneath him
Lady Darnford said We will not oppress you tho we could almost blame your
too punctilious Exactness but if we excuse Mrs Andrews at Dinner we must
insist upon her Company at the Cardtable and at a Dish of Tea For we intend
to pass the whole Day with you Sir as we told you What say you to that
Pamela said my Master Sir replyd I whatever you and the Ladies please I
will chearfully do They said I was very obliging But Sir Simon rapt out an
Oath and said that they might dine together if they would but he would dine
with me and nobody else For said he I say Squire as Parson Williams said
by which I found my Master had told them the Story you must not think you have
chosen one that nobody can like but yourself
The young Ladies said If I pleasd they would take a Turn about the Garden
with me I answerd I would very gladly attend them and so we three and Lady
Joness Sisterinlaw and Mr Peterss Niece walkd together They were very
affable kind and obliging and we soon enterd into a good deal of Familiarity
and I found Miss Darnford a very agreeable Person Her Sister was a little more
on the Reserve and I afterwards heard that about a Year before she should
fain have had my Master make his Addresses to her but tho Sir Simon is
reckond rich she was not thought a sufficient Fortune for him And now to
have him look down so low as me must be a sort of Mortification to a poor young
Lady and I pityd her Indeed I did I wish all young Persons of my Sex
could be as happy as I am likely to be
My Master told me afterwards that I left the other Ladies and Sir Simon
and Mr Peters full of my Praises so that they could hardly talk of any thing
else one launching out upon my Complexion another upon my Eyes my Hand and
in short for youll think me sadly proud upon my whole Person and Behaviour
and they all magnifyd my Readiness and Obligingness in my Answers and the
like And I was glad of it as I said for my good Masters sake who seemd
quite pleasd and rejoicd God bless him for his Goodness to me
Dinner not being ready the young Ladies proposd a Tune upon the Spinnet I
said I believd it was not in Tune They said they knew it was but a few
Months ago If it is said I I wish I had known it tho indeed Ladies added
I since you know my Story I must own that my Mind has not been long in Tune
to make use of it So they would make me play upon it and sing to it which I
did a Song my dear good Lady had learnd me and usd to be pleasd with and
which she brought with her from Bath And the Ladies were much taken with the
Song and were so kind as to approve my Performance And Miss Darnford was
pleasd to compliment me that I had all the Accomplishments of my Sex I said
I had had a good Lady in my Masters Mother who had spard no Pains nor Cost
to improve me She said she wishd the Squire could be prevaild upon to give
a Ball on an approaching happy Occasion that we might have a Dancingmatch
etc But I cant say I do tho I did not say so for these Occasions I think
are too solemn for the Principals at least of our Sex to take Part in
especially if they have the same Thoughts of the Solemnity that I have For
indeed tho I am in such an enviable Prospect of Happiness I must own to you
my dear Parents that I have something very awful upon my Mind when I think of
the Matter and shall more and more as it draws nearer and nearer This is the
Song
I
Go happy Paper gently steal
And underneath her Pillow lie
There in soft Dreams my LOVE reveal
That LOVE which I must still conceal
And wrapt in awful Silence die
II
Should Flames be doomd thy hapless Fate
To Atoms THOU wouldst quickly turn
MY Pains may bear a longer Date
For should I live and should she hate
In endless Torments I should burn
III
Tell fair AURELIA she has Charms
Might in a Hermit stir Desire
T attain the Heavn thats in her Arms
Id quit the Worlds alluring Harms
And to a Cell content retire
IV
Of all that pleasd my ravishd Eye
Her Beauty should supply the Place
Bold Raphaels Strokes and Titians Dye
Should but in vain presume to vye
With her inimitable Face
V
No more Id wish for Phoebus Rays
To gild the Object of my Sight
Much less the Tapers fainter Blaze
Her Eyes should measure out my Days
And when she slept it should be Night
About four oClock My Master just came up to me and said If you should see
Mr Williams below do you think Pamela you should not be surprizd No
Sir said I I hope not Why should I Expect said he a Stranger then when
you come down to us in the Parlour for the Ladies are preparing themselves for
the Cardtable and they insist upon your Company You have a mind Sir said
I I believe to try all my Courage Why said he does it want Courage to see
him No Sir said I not at all But I was grievously dashd to see all those
strange Ladies and Gentlemen and now to see Mr Williams before them as some
of them refusd his Application for me when I wanted to get away it will a
little shock me to see them smile in recollecting what has passd of that
kind Well said he guard your Heart against Surprizes tho you shall see
when you come down a Man that I can allow you to love dearly tho hardly
preferably to me
This surprizes me much I am afraid he begins to be jealous of me What will
become of me for he lookd very seriously if any Turn should happen now My
Heart akes I know not whats the Matter But I will go down as brisk as I can
that nothing may be imputed to me Yet I wish this Mr Williams had not been
there now when they are all there because of their Fleers at him and me
Otherwise I should be glad to see the poor Gentleman for indeed I think him a
good Man and he has sufferd for my sake
So I am sent for down to Cards Ill go but wish I may continue their good
Opinions of me For I shall be very awkward My Master by his serious Question
and bidding me guard my Heart against Surprizes tho I should see when I came
down a Man he can allow me to love dearly tho hardly better than he has
quite alarmd me and made me sad I hope he loves me But whether he does
or not I am in for it now over Head and Ears I doubt and cant help loving
him tis a Folly to deny it But to be sure I cannot love any Man preferably to
him I shall soon know what he means
Now my dear Mother must I write to you Well might my good Master say so
mysteriously as he did about guarding my Heart against Surprizes I never was
so surprizd in my Life and never could see a Man I lovd so dearly O my
dear Mother it was my dear dear Father and not Mr Williams that was below
ready to receive and to bless your Daughter and both my Master and he enjoin me
to write how the whole Matter was and what my Thoughts were on this joyful
Occasion
I will take the Matter from the Beginning that God directed his Feet to
this House to this Time as I have had it from Mrs Jewkes from my Master my
Father the Ladies and my own Heart and Conduct as far as I know of both
because they command it and you will be pleased with my Relation and so as
you know how I came by the Connection will make one uniform Relation of it
It seems then that my dear Father and you were so uneasy to know the Truth
of the Story that Thomas had told you and fearing I was betrayed and quite
undone that he got Leave of Absence and set out the Day after Thomas was
there and so on Friday Morning he got to the neighbouring Town and there he
heard that the Gentry in the Neighbourhood were at my Masters at a great
Entertainment He put on a clean Shirt and Neckcloth that he brought in his
Pocket at an Alehouse there and got shavd and so after he had eat some
Bread and Cheese and drank a Can of Ale he set out for my Masters House with
a heavy Heart dreading for me and in much fear of being browbeaten He had it
seems asked at the Alehouse what Family the Squire had down here in hopes
to hear something of me and they said A Housekeeper two Maids and at
present two Coachmen and two Grooms a Footman and a Helper Was that all he
said They told him There was a young Creature there belike who was or was
to be his Mistress or somewhat of that Nature but had been his Mothers
Waitingmaid This he said grieved his Heart and made out what he feard
So he went on and about Three oClock in the Afternoon came to the Gate
and ringing there Sir Simons Coachman went to the Irongate and he askd for
the Housekeeper tho from what I had wrote in his Heart he could not abide
her She sent for him in little thinking who he was and askd him in the
little Hall what his Business with her was Only Madam said he whether I
cannot speak one Word with the Squire No Friend said she he is engaged with
several Gentlemen and Ladies Said he I have Business with his Honour of
greater Consequence to me than either Life or Death and Tears stood in his
Eyes
At that she went into the great Parlour where my Master was talking very
pleasantly with the Ladies and she said Sir here is a good tight old Man
that wants to see you on Business of Life and Death he says and is very
earnest Ay said he Who can that be Let him stay in the little Hall and
Ill come to him presently They all seemd to stare and Sir Simon said No
more nor less I dare say my good Friend but a Bastard Child If it is said
Lady Jones bring it in to us I will said he
Mrs Jewkes tells me my Master was much surprizd when he saw who it was
and she much more when my dear Father said Good God give me Patience but
as great as you are Sir I must ask for my Child And burst out into Tears O
what Trouble have I given you both My Master said taking him by the Hand
Dont be uneasy Goodman Andrews your Daughter is in the way to be happy
This alarmd my dear Father and he said What then is she dying And
trembled he could scarce stand My Master made him sit down and sat down by
him and said No God be praised she is very well and pray be comforted I
cannot bear to see you thus apprehensive but she has wrote you a Letter to
assure you that she has Reason to be well satisfied and happy
Ah Sir said he you told me once she was in London waiting on a Bishops
Lady when all the time she was a severe Prisoner here Well thats all over
now Goodman Andrews said my Master but the Times are alterd for now the
sweet Girl has taken me Prisoner and in a few Days I shall put on the
pleasantest Fetters that ever Man wore
O Sir said he you are too pleasant for my Griefs My Hearts almost
broke But may I not see my poor Child You shall presently said he for she is
coming down to us and since you wont believe me I hope you will her
I will ask you good Sir said he but one Question till then that I may
know how to look upon her when I see her Is she honest Is she virtuous As
the newborn Babe Mr Andrews said my good Master and in twelve Days time I
hope will be my Wife
O flatter me not good your Honour said he It cannot be it cannot be I
fear you have deluded her with strange Hopes and would make me believe
Impossibilities Mrs Jewkes said he do you tell my dear Pamelas good
Father when I go out all you know concerning me and your Mistress that is to
be Mean time make much of him and set out what you have and make him drink a
Glass of what he likes best If this be Wine added he fill me a Bumper
She did so and he took my Father by the Hand and said Believe me good
Man and be easy for I cant bear to see you torturd in this cruel Suspense
Your dear Daughter is the beloved of my Soul I am glad you are come For youll
see us all in the same Story And heres your Dames Health and God bless you
both for being the happy Means of procuring for me so great a Blessing And so
he drank a Bumper to this most obliging Health
What do I hear it cannot surely be said my Father And your Honour is too
good I hope to mock a poor old Man This ugly Story Sir of the Bishop
runs in my Head But you say I shall see my dear Child And I shall see her
honest If not poor as I am I would not own her
My Master bid Mrs Jewkes not let me know yet that my Father was come and
went to the Company and said I have been agreeably surprizd Here is honest
old Goodman Andrews come full of Grief to see his Daughter for he fears she is
seduced and tells me good honest Man that poor as he is he will not own
her if she be not virtuous O said they all with one Voice almost dear Sir
shall we not see the good old Man you have so praised for his plain good Sense
and honest Heart If said he I thought Pamela would not be too much affected
with the Surprize I would make you all witness to their first Interview for
never did Daughter love a Father or a Father a Daughter as they two do one
another. Miss Darnford and all the Ladies and the Gentlemen too beggd it
might be so But was not this very cruel my dear Mother For well might they
think I should not support myself in such an agreeable Surprize
He said kindly I have but one Fear that the dear Girl may be too much
affected O said Lady Darnford well all help to keep up her Spirits Says he
Ill go up and prepare her but wont tell her of it So he came up to me as I
have said and amusd me about Mr Williams to half prepare me for some
Surprize tho that could not have been any thing to this And he left me as I
said in that Suspense at his mystical Words saying he would send to me when
they were going to Cards
My Master went from me to my Father and asked if he had eaten any thing.
No said Mrs Jewkes the good Mans Hearts so full he cannot eat nor do any
thing, till he has seen his dear Daughter That shall soon be said my Master I
will have you come in with me for she is going to sit down with my Guests to a
Game at Quadrille and I will send for her down O Sir said my Father dont
dont let me I am not fit to appear before your Guests let me see my Daughter
by myself I beseech you Said he They all know your honest Character Goodman
Andrews and long to see you for Pamelas sake
So he took my Father by the Hand and led him in against his Will to the
Company They were all very good My Master kindly said Ladies and Gentlemen I
present to you one of the honestest Men in England my good Pamelas Father Mr
Peters went to him and took him by the Hand and said We are all glad to see
you Sir you are the happiest Man in the World in a Daughter that we never saw
before to Day but cannot enough admire her
Said my Master This Gentleman Goodman Andrews is the Minister of the
Parish but is not young enough for Mr Williams This cutting Joke my poor
Father said made him fear for a Moment that all was a Jest Sir Simon also
took him by the Hand and said Ay you have a sweet Daughter Honesty we are
all in Love with her And the Ladies came and said very fine things Lady
Darnford particularly That he might think himself the happiest Man in England
in such a Daughter If and please you Madam said he she be but vertuous
tis all in all For all the rest is Accident But I doubt his Honour has been
too much upon the Joke with me No said Mrs Peters we are all Witness that he
intends very honourably by her It is some Comfort said he and wiped his
Eyes that such good Ladies say so But I wish I could see her
They would have had him sit down by them but he would only sit behind the
Door in the Corner of the Room so that one could not soon see him as one came
in because the Door opend against him and hid him almost The Ladies all sat
down and my Master said Desire Mrs Jewkes to step up and tell Mrs Andrews
the Ladies wait for her So down I came
Miss Darnford rose and met me at the Door and said Well Miss we longd
for your Company I did not see my dear Father and it seems his Heart was too
full to speak and he got up and sat down three or four times successively
unable to come to me or to say any thing. The Ladies looked that way but I
would not supposing it was Mr Williams And they made me sit down between Lady
Darnford and Lady Jones and asked me what we should play at I said At what
your Ladyships please I wonderd to see them smile and look upon me and to
that Corner of the Room but I was afraid of looking that way for fear of
seeing Mr Williams tho my Face was that way too and the Table before me
Said my Master Did you send your Letter away to the Posthouse my good
Girl for your Father To be sure Sir said I I did not forget that I took
the Liberty to desire Mr Thomas to carry it What said he I wonder will the
good old Couple say to it O Sir said I your Goodness will be a Cordial to
their dear honest Hearts At that my dear Father not able to contain himself
nor yet to stir from the Place gushd out into a Flood of Tears which he good
Soul had been struggling with it seems and cryd out O my dear Child
I knew the Voice and lifting up my Eyes and seeing my Father gave a
Spring overturnd the Table without Regard to the Company and threw myself at
his Feet O my Father my Father said I can it be Is it you Yes it is It
is O bless your happy Daughter I would have said and down I sunk
My Master seemd concernd I feard said he that the Surprize would be
too much for her Spirits and all the Ladies run to me and made me drink a
Glass of Water and I found myself incircled in the Arms of my dearest Father
O tell me said I every thing How long have you been here When did you come
How does my honourd Mother and half a dozen Questions more before he could
answer one
They permitted me to retire with my Father and then I pourd forth all my
Vows and Thanksgivings to God for this additional Blessing and confirmd all
my Masters Goodness to his scarcebelieving Amazement And we kneeled together
blessing God and blessing one another, for several ecstatick Minutes and my
Master coming in soon after my dear Father said O Sir what a Change is this
May God reward you may God bless you in this World and the next
May God bless us all said he But how does my sweet Girl I have been in
Pain for you I am sorry I did not apprize you before hand
O Sir said I it was You and all you do must be good But this was a
Blessing so unexpected
Well said he you have given Pain to all the Company They will be glad to
see you when you can for you have spoiled all their Diversion And yet
painfully delighted them at the same time Mr Andrews said he you make this
House your own and the longer you stay the more welcome youll be After you
have a little composd yourself my dear Girl step in to us again I am glad to
see you so well so soon And so he left us
See you my dear Father said I what Goodness there is in this once naughty
Master O pray for him and pray for me that I may deserve it
How long has this happy Change been wrought said he my dear Child O
said I several happy Days I have wrote down every thing and youll see
from the Depth of Misery what God has done for your happy Daughter
Blessed be his Name said he But do you say he will marry you Can it be
that such a brave Gentleman will make a Lady of the Child of such a poor Man as
I O the Goodness of God How will your poor dear Mother be able to support
these happy Tidings I will set out tomorrow to acquaint her with it For I am
but half happy till the dear good Woman shares it with me To be sure my dear
Child we ought to go into some far Country to hide ourselves that we may not
disgrace you by our Poverty
O my dear Father said I now you are unkind for the first Time Your
Poverty has been my Glory and my Riches and I have nothing to brag of but
that I ever thought it an Honour to me rather than a Disgrace because you were
always so honest that your Child might well boast of such a Parentage
In this manner my dear Mother did we pass the happy Moments till Miss
Darnford came to me and said How do you do dear Miss I rejoice to see you
well Pray let us have your Company And said she taking my Fathers Hand and
yours too good Mr Andrews
This was very obliging I told her and we went to the great Parlour and my
Master took my Father by the Hand and made him sit down by him and drink a
Glass of Wine with him Mean time I made my Excuses to the Ladies as well as I
could which they readily granted me But Sir Simon after his comical manner
put his Hands on my Shoulders Let me see let me see said he where your Wings
grow for I never saw any body fly like you Why said he you have broke Lady
Joness Shins with the Table Shew her else Madam
His Pleasantry made them laugh And I said I was very sorry for my
Extravagancy And if it had not been my Masters Doings I should have said it
was a Fault to permit me to be so surprized and put out of myself before such
good Company They said All was very excusable and they were glad I sufferd
no more by it They were so kind as to excuse me at Cards and playd by
themselves and I went by my Masters Command and sat on the other Side in
the happiest Place I ever was blest with between two of the dearest Men in the
World to me and each holding one of my Hands my Father every nowandthen
with Tears in his Eyes blessing God and saying Could I ever have hoped this
I asked him if he had been so kind as to bring the Papers with him He said
he had and looked at me as who should say Must I give them to you now I
said Be pleased to let me have them He pulled them from his Pocket and I
stood up and with my best Duty gave them into my Masters Hands He said
Thank you Pamela Your Father shall take all with him to see what a sad Fellow
I have been as well as the present happier Alteration But I must have them all
again for the Writers sake
The Ladies and Gentlemen would make me govern the Teatable whatever I
could do and Abraham attended me to serve the Company My Master and my Father
sat together and drank a Glass or two of Wine instead of Tea and Sir Simon
jokd with my Master and said I warrant you would not be such a Womans Man
as to drink Tea for ever so much with the Ladies But your Times coming and
I doubt not youll be made as conformable as I
My Master was very urgent with them to stay Supper and at last they
complyd on Condition that I would grace the Table as they were pleased to
call it I beggd to be excusd My Master said Dont be excusd Pamela since
the Ladies desire it And besides said he we wont part with your Father and
so you may as well stay with us
I was in hope my Father and I might sup by ourselves or only with Mrs
Jewkes And Miss Darnford who is a most obliging young Lady said We will not
part with you indeed we wont
When Supper was brought in Lady Darnford took me by the Hand and said to
my Master Sir by your Leave and would have placd me at the Upperend of the
Table Pray pray Madam said I excuse me I cannot do it indeed I cannot
Pamela said my Master to the great Delight of my good Father as I could see
by his Looks Oblige Lady Darnford since she desires it It is but a little
before your Time you know
Dear good Sir said I pray dont command it Let me sit by my Father
pray Why said Sir Simon heres ado indeed Sit down at the Upperend as you
should do and your Father shall sit by you there This put my dear Father upon
Difficulties And my Master said Come Ill place you all And so put Lady
Darnford at the Upperend Lady Jones at her Righthand and Mrs Peters on the
other and he placed me between the two young Ladies but very genteely put Miss
Darnford below her younger Sister saying Come Miss I put you here because
you shall hedge in this little Cuckow for I take notice with Pleasure of your
Goodness to her and besides all you very young Ladies should sit together
This seemd to please both Sisters for had the youngest Miss been put there it
might have piqud her as matters had been formerly to be placed below me
whereas Miss Darnford giving Place to her younger Sister made it less odd she
should to me especially with that handsome Turn of the dear Man as if I was a
Cuckow and to be hedgd in
My Master kindly said Come Mr Andrews you and I will sit together And
so took his Place at the Bottom of the Table and set my Father on his
Righthand and Sir Simon would sit on his Left For said he Parson I think
the Petticoats should sit together and so do you sit down by that Lady his
Sister A boiled Turkey standing by me my Master said Cut up that Turkey
Pamela if it be not too strong Work for you that Lady Darnford may not have
too much Trouble So I carvd it in a Trice and helped the Ladies Miss
Darnford said I would give something to be so dextrous a Carver O Miss said
I my late good Lady would always make me do these things when she entertained
her Female Friends as she used to do on particular Days
Ay said my Master I remember my poor Mother would often say if I or any
body at Table happend to be a little out in Carving Ill send up for my
Pamela to shew you how to carve Said Lady Jones Mrs Andrews has every
Accomplishment of her Sex She is quite wonderful for her Years Miss Darnford
said And I can tell you Madam that she plays sweetly upon the Spinnet and
sings as sweetly to it for she has a fine Voice Foolish said Sir Simon who
that hears her speak knows not that and who that sees her Fingers believes
not that they were made to touch any Key O Parson said he tis well youre
by or I should have had a Blush from the Ladies I hope not Sir Simon said
Lady Jones for a Gentleman of your Politeness would not say any thing that
would make Ladies blush No no said he for the World But if I had it
would have been as the Poet says
They blush because they understand
When the Company went away Lady Darnford Lady Jones and Mrs Peters
severally invited my Master and me with him to their Houses and beggd he
would permit me at least to come before we left these Parts And they said We
hope when the happy Knot is tyd you will induce the Squire to reside more
among us We were always glad said Lady Darnford when he was here but now
shall have double Reason O what grateful things were these to the Ears of my
good Father
When the Company was gone my Master askd my Father if he smoakd he
said No He made us both sit down by him and he said I have been telling this
sweet Girl that in Fourteen Days and two of them are gone she must fix on
one to make me happy And have left it to her to chuse either one of the first
or the last Seven My Father held up his Hands and Eyes God bless your Honour
said he is all I can say Now Pamela said my Master taking my Hand dont
let a little wrongtimed Bashfulness take place without any other Reason
because I should be glad to go to Bedfordshire as soon as I could and I would
not return till I carry my Servants there a Mistress who should assist me to
repair the Mischiefs she has made in it
I could not look up for Confusion And my Father said My dear Child I need
not I am sure prompt your Obedience in whatever will most oblige so good a
Master What says my Pamela said my Master She does not use to be at a Loss
for Expression Sir said I were I too sudden it would look as if I doubted
whether you would hold in your Mind and was not willing to give you Time for
Reflection But otherwise to be sure I ought to resign myself implicitly to
your Will
Said he I want not Time for Reflection For I have often told you and that
long ago I could not live without you And my Pride of Condition made me both
tempt and terrify you to other Terms but your Virtue was Proof against all
Temptation and was not to be awd by Terrors Wherefore as I could not conquer
my Passion for you I corrected myself and resolved since you would not be
mine upon my Terms you should upon your own And now I desire you not on any
other I assure you And I think the sooner it is done the better What say
you Mr Andrews Sir said he there is so much Goodness of your Side and
blessed be God so much Prudence of my Daughters that I must be quite silent
But when it is done I and my poor Wife shall have nothing to do but to pray
for you both and to look back with Wonder and Joy on the Ways of Providence
This said my Master is Friday Night and suppose my Girl it be next
Monday Tuesday Wednesday or Thursday Morning Say my Pamela
Will you Sir said I excuse me till tomorrow for an Answer I will
said he And he touchd the Bell and called for Mrs Jewkes Where said he
does Mr Andrews lie tonight Youll take care of him Hes a very good Man
and will bring a Blessing upon every House he sets his Foot in
My dear Father wept for Joy and I could not refrain keeping him Company
And my Master saluting me bid us Goodnight and retird And I waited upon my
dear Father and was so full of Prattle of my Masters Goodness and my future
Prospects that I believed afterwards I was turned all into Tongue But he
indulged me and was transported with Joy and went tobed and dreamt of
nothing but Jacobs Ladder and Angels ascending and descending to bless him
and his Daughter
Saturday
I Rose up early in the Morning but found my Father was up before me and was
gone to walk in the Garden I went to him And with what Delight with what
Thankfulness did we go over every Scene of it that had before been so dreadful
to me The FishPond the Backdoor and every Place O what Reason had we for
Thankfulness and Gratitude
About Seven oClock my good Master joind us in his Morninggown and
Slippers and looking a little heavy I said Sir I fear you had not good Rest
last Night That is your Fault Pamela said he After I went from you I must
needs look into your Papers and could not leave them till I had read them
thro and so twas Three oClock before I went to sleep I wish Sir said I
you had had better Entertainment The worst Part of it said he was what I had
brought upon myself and you have not spard me Sir said I He interrupting
me said Well I forgive you You had too much Reason for it But I find plain
enough that if you had got away you would soon have been Williamss Wife And
I cant see how it could well have been otherwise Indeed Sir said I I had no
Notion of it or of being any bodys I believe so said he but it must have
come on as a Thing of Course and I see your Father was for it Sir said he I
little thought of the Honour your Goodness would confer upon her and I thought
that would be a Match above what we could do for her a great deal But when I
found she was not for it I resolved not to urge her but leave all to Gods
Grace and her own Prudence
I see said he all was sincere honest and open and I speak of it if it
had been done as a thing that could hardly well be avoided and I am quite
satisfied But said he I must observe as I have an hundred times with
Admiration what a prodigious Memory and easy and happy Manner of Narration
this excellent Girl has And tho she is full of her pretty Tricks and
Artifices to escape the Snares I had laid for her yet all is innocent lovely
and uniformly beautiful You are exceedingly happy in a Daughter and I hope I
shall be so in a Wife Or said my Father may she not have that Honour I
fear it not said he and hope I shall deserve it of her
But Pamela said my Master I am sorry to find in some Parts of your
Journal that Mrs Jewkes carryd her Orders a little too far And I the more
take Notice of it because you have not complaind to me of her Behaviour as
she might have expected for some Parts of it Tho a good deal was occasiond by
my strict Orders But she had the Insolence to strike my Girl I find Sir
said I I was a little provoking I believe but as we forgave one another, I
was the less intitled to complain of her
Well said he you are very good but if you have any particular Resentment
I will indulge it so far as that she shall hereafter have nothing to do where
you are Sir said I you are so kind that I ought to forgive every body and
when I see that God has brought about my Happiness by the very Means that I
thought then my great Grievance I ought to bless those Means and forgive all
that was disagreeable to me at the time for the great Good that has issued from
it That said he and kissed me is sweetly considerd and it shall be my
Part to make you Amends for what you have sufferd that you may still think
lighter of the one and have Cause to rejoice in the other
My dear Fathers Heart was full and he said with his Hands folded and
lifted up Pray Sir let me go let me go to my dear Wife and tell her
all these blessed things while my Heart holds for it is ready to burst with
Joy Good Man said my Master I love to hear this honest Heart of yours
speaking at your Lips I injoin you Pamela to continue your Relation as you
have Opportunity and tho your Father be here write to your Mother that this
wondrous Story be perfect and we your Friends may read and admire you more
and more Ay pray pray do my dear Child said my Father And this is the
Reason that I write on my dear Mother when I thought not to do it because my
Father could tell you all that passed while he was here
My Master took notice of my Psalm and was pleasd to commend it and said
That I had very charitably turnd the last Verses which in the Original was
full of heavy Curses to a Wish that shewd I was not of an implacable
Disposition tho my then Usage might have excused it if I had But said he I
think you shall sing it to me tomorrow
After we have breakfasted added he if you have no Objection Pamela well
take an Airing together and it shall be in the Coach because well have your
Fathers Company He would have excusd himself but my Master would have it so
But he was much ashamed because he was not in a Dress for my Masters Company
My Master would make us both breakfast with him on Chocolate and he said
I would have you Pamela begin to dress as you used to do for now at least
you may call your two other Bundles your own and if you want any thing against
the approaching Occasion private as I design it Ill send to Lincoln for it
by a special Messenger I said My good Ladys Bounty and his own had set me
much above my Degree and I had very good things of all Sorts and I did not
desire any other because I would not excite the Censure of the Ladies That
would be a different thing he was pleased to say when he publickly ownd his
Nuptials after we came to the other House But at present if I was satisfied
he would not make Words with me
I hope Mr Andrews said he to my Father youll not leave us till you see
the Affair over and then youll be sure I mean honourably and besides Pamela
will be induced to set the Day sooner O Sir said he I bless God I have no
Reason to doubt your meaning honourably and I hope youll excuse me if I set
out on Monday Morning very early to my dear Wife and make her as happy as I
am
Why Pamela said my good Master may it not be performd on Tuesday and
then your Father maybe will stay I should have been glad to have had it
tomorrow added he but I have sent Monsieur Colbrand for a Licence that you
may have no Scruple unanswerd and he cant very well be back before tomorrow
Night or Monday Morning
This was most agreeable News I said Sir I know my dear Father will want
to be at home And as you was so good to give me a Fortnight from last Thursday
I should be glad youll be pleased to indulge me with some Day in the second
Seven Well said he I will not be too urgent but the sooner you fix the
better Mr Andrews we must leave something to these Jephthas Daughters in
these Cases he was pleased to say I suppose the little bashful Folly which
in the happiest Circumstances may give a kind of Regret to quit the Maiden
State and an Aukwardness at the Entrance of a new one is a Reason with Pamela
and so she shall name her Day Sir said he you are all Goodness
I went up soon after and new dressd myself taking Possession in a happy
Moment I hope of my two Bundles as my good Master was pleased to call them
alluding to my former Division of those good things my Lady and himself
bestowd upon me and so put on fine Linen silk Shoes and fine white Cotton
Stockens a fine quilted Coat a delicate green mantua silk Gown and Coat a
French Necklace and a lacd Head and Handkerchief and clean Gloves and
taking my Fan in my Hand I like a little proud Hussy looked in the Glass and
thought myself a Gentlewoman once more but I forgot not to thank God for being
able to put on this Dress with so much Comfort
Mrs Jewkes would help to dress me and complimented me highly saying
among other things that now I looked like her Lady indeed And as she said
the little Chapel was ready and Divine Service would be read in it tomorrow
she wished the happy Knot might then be tyd Said she Have you not seen the
Chapel Madam since it has been cleaned out No said I but are we to have
Service in it tomorrow do you say I am glad of that for I have been a sad
Heathen lately sore against my Will But who is to officiate Somebody
replyd she Mr Peters will send You tell me very good News said I Mrs
Jewkes I hope it will never be a Lumberroom again Ay said she I can tell
you more good News for the two Miss Darnfords and Lady Jones are to be here
at the Opening of it and will stay and dine with you My Master said I has
not told me that You must alter your Stile Madam said she It must not be
Master now sure O returnd I that is a Language I shall never forget He
shall always be my Master and I shall think myself more and more his Servant
My poor Father did not know I went up to dress myself and he said his
Heart misgave him when he saw me first for fear I was made a Fool of and that
here was some fine Lady that was to be my Masters true Wife And he stood in
Admiration and said O my dear Child how well will you become your happy
Condition Why you look like a Lady already I hope my dear Father said I
and boldly kissed him I shall always be your dutiful Daughter whatever my
Condition be
My Master sent me word he was ready and when he saw me said Dress as you
will Pamela youre a charming Girl and so handed me to the Coach and would
make my Father and me sit both on the Foreside and sat backwards overagainst
me and bid the Coachman drive to the Meadow that is where he once met Mr
Williams
The Conversation was most agreeable to me and to my dear Father as we
went and he more and more exceeded in Goodness and Generosity and while I was
gone up to dress he had presented my Father with twenty Guineas desiring him
to buy himself and my Mother such Apparel as they should think proper and lay
it all out But I knew not this till after that we came home my Father having
no Opportunity to tell me of it
He was pleased to tell me of the Chapel being got in tolerable Order and
said it lookd very well and against he came down next it should be all new
whitewashd and painted and lind and a new Pulpitcloth Cushion Desk
etc and that it should always be kept in order for the future He told me the
two Miss Darnfords and Lady Jones would dine with him on Sunday And with
their Servants and mine said he we shall make a tolerable little Congregation
And added he have I not well contrivd to shew you that the Chapel is really
a little House of God and has been consecrated before we solemnize our
Nuptials in it O Sir replyd I your Goodness to me is inexpressible Mr
Peters said he offerd to come and officiate in it but would not stay to dine
with me because he has Company at his own House and so I intend that Divine
Service shall be performd in it by one to whom I shall make some yearly
Allowance as a sort of Chaplain You look serious Pamela added he I know
you think of your Friend Williams Indeed Sir said I if you wont be angry I
did Poor Man I am sorry I have been the Cause of his disobliging you
When we came to the Meadow where the Gentry have their Walk sometimes the
Coach stopt and my Master alighted and led me to the Brookside and it is a
very pretty Summer Walk He asked my Father if he chose to walk out or go on
in the Coach to the further End He poor Man chose to go in the Coach for
fear he said any Gentry should be walking there and he told me he was most
of the way upon his Knees in the Coach thanking God for his gracious Mercies
and Goodness and begging a Blessing upon my good Master and me
I was quite astonishd when we came into the shady Walk to see Mr
Williams there See there said my Master theres poor Williams taking his
solitary Walk again with his Book And it seems it was so contrivd for Mr
Peters had been as I since find desird to tell him to be in that Walk at
such an Hour in the Morning
So old Acquaintance said my Master again have I met you in this Place
What Book are you now reading He said It was Boileaus Lutrin Said my Master
You see I have brought with me my little Fugitive that would have been While
you are perfecting yourself in French I am trying to learn English and hope
soon to be Master of it
Mine Sir said he is a very beautiful Piece of French But your English
has no Equal
You are very polite Mr Williams said my Master And he that does not
think as you do deserves no Share in her Why Pamela added he very
generously why so strange where you have once been so familiar I do assure
you both that I mean not by this Interview to insult Mr Williams or confuse
you Then I said Mr Williams I am very glad to see you well and tho the
generous Favour of my good Master has happily changed the Scene since you and I
last saw one another, I am nevertheless very glad of an Opportunity to
acknowledge with Gratitude your good Intentions not so much to serve me as
me but as a Person that then had great Reason to believe herself in Distress
And I hope Sir added I to my Master your Goodness will permit me to say
this
You Pamela said he may make what Acknowledgments you please to Mr
Williamss good Intentions and I would have you speak as you think but I do
not apprehend myself to be quite so much obligd to those Intentions
Sir said Mr Williams I beg leave to say I knew well that by Education
you was no Libertine nor had I Reason to think you so by Inclination and when
you came to reflect I hoped you would not be displeased with me And this was
no small Motive to me at first to do as I did
Ay but Mr Williams said my Master could you think that I should have
had Reason to thank you if above all her Sex I loved one Person and you had
robbed me of her and marryd her yourself And then said he you are to
consider that she was of long Acquaintance with me and a quite new one to you
that I had sent her down to my own House for better securing her and that you
who had Access to my House could not effect your Purpose without being guilty
in some sort of a Breach of the Laws of Hospitality and Friendship As to my
Designs upon her I own they had not the best Appearance but still I was not
answerable to Mr Williams on that Score much less could you be excusd to
invade a Property so very dear to me and to endeavour to gain an Interest in
her Affections tho you could not be certain that Matters would not turn out
as they have actually done
I own said he that some Parts of my Conduct seem exceptionable as you
state it But Sir I am but a young Man I meant no Harm I had no Interest I
am sure to incur your Displeasure and when you think of every thing and the
inimitable Graces of Person and Perfections of Mind that adorn this excellent
Lady so he called me you will perhaps find your Generosity allow something
as an Extenuation of a Fault which your Anger would not permit as an Excuse
I have done said my Master nor did I meet you here to be angry with you
Pamela knew not that she should see you and now you are both present I would
ask you Mr Williams If now you know my honourable Designs towards this good
Girl you can really be almost I will not say quite as well pleased with the
Friendship of my Wife as you could be with the Favour of Mrs Andrews
Sir said he I will answer you truly I think I could have preferrd with
her any Condition that could have befallen me had I considerd only myself
But Sir I was very far from having any Encouragement to expect her Favour and
I had much more Reason to believe that if she could have hoped for your
Goodness her Heart was too much preengaged to think of any body else And
give me Leave further to say Sir That tho I tell you sincerely my Thoughts
were I only to consider myself yet when I consider her Good and her Merit I
should be highly ungenerous were it put to my Choice if I could not wish her
in a Condition so much superior to what I could do for her and so very
answerable to her Merit
Pamela said my Master you are obliged to Mr Williams and ought to thank
him He has distinguished well But as for me who had like to have lost you by
his means I am glad the Matter was not left to his Choice Mr Williams said
he I give you Pamelas Hand because I know it will be pleasing to her in
Token of her Friendship and Esteem for you and I give you mine that I will not
be your Enemy But yet I must say that I think I owe this proper Manner of your
Thinking more to your Disappointment than to the Generosity you talk of
Mr Williams kissed my Hand as my Master gave it him and my Master said
Sir you will go home and dine with me and Ill shew you my little Chapel and
do you Pamela look upon yourself at Liberty to number Mr Williams in the List
of your Friends
How generous how noble was this Mr Williams and so had I had Tears of
Pleasure in his Eyes I was silent but Mr Williams said Sir I shall be
taught by your Generosity to think myself inexcusably wrong in every Step I
took that could give you Offence and my future Life shall shew my respectful
Gratitude
We walked on till we came to the Coach where was my dear Father Pamela
said my Master tell Mr Williams who that good Man is O Mr Williams said I
it is my dear Father And my Master was pleased to say one of the honestest
Men in England Pamela owes every thing that she is to be as well as her Being
to him for I think she would not have brought me to this nor made so great
Resistance but for the good Lessons and religious Education she imbibd from
him
Mr Williams said taking my Fathers Hand You see good Mr Andrews with
inexpressible Pleasure the Fruits of your pious Care and now are in a way
with your beloved Daughter to reap the happy Effects of it I am overcome
said my dear Father with his Honours Goodness But I can only say I bless
God and bless him
Mr Williams and I being nearer the Coach than my Master and he offering to
draw back to give way to him he kindly said Pray Mr Williams oblige Pamela
with your Hand and step in yourself He bowd and took my Hand and my Master
made him step in and sit next me all that ever he could do and sat himself
overagainst him next my Father who sat against me
And he said Mr Andrews I told you Yesterday that the Divine you saw was
not Mr Williams I now tell you this Gentleman is And tho I have been
telling him I think not myself obliged to his Intentions yet I will own that
Pamela and you are and tho I wont promise to love him I would have you
Sir said Mr Williams you have a way of overcoming that hardly all my
Reading affords an Instance of the like and it is the more noble as it is on
this Side as I presume the happy Ceremony which great as your Fortune is
will lay you under an Obligation to so much Virtue and Beauty when she becomes
yours for you will then have a Treasure that Princes might envy
Said my generous Master God bless him Mr Williams it is impossible
that you and I should long live at Variance when our Sentiments agree so well
together on Subjects the most material
I was quite confused and my Master seeing it took my Hand and said Look
up my good Girl and collect yourself Dont injure Mr Williams and me so
much as to think we are capping Compliments as we used to do Verses at
School I dare answer for us both that we say not a Syllable we dont think
O Sir said I how unequal am I to all this Goodness Every Moment that
passes adds to the Weight of the Obligations you oppress me with
Think not too much of that said he most generously Mr Williamss
Compliments to you have great Advantage of mine For tho equally sincere I
have a great deal to say and to do to compensate the Sufferings I have made
you undergo and at last must sit down dissatisfied because those will never
be atond by all I can do for you
He saw my dear Father quite unable to support these affecting Instances of
his Goodness and he let go my Hand and took his and said seeing his Tears I
wonder not my dear Pamelas Father that your honest Heart springs thus to your
Eyes to see all her Trials at an End I will not pretend to say that I had
formerly either Power or Will to act thus But since I began to resolve on the
Change you see I have reapd so much Pleasure in it that my own Interest will
keep me steady For till within these few Days I knew not what it was to be
happy
Poor Mr Williams with Tears of Joy in his Eyes said How happily Sir
have you been touched by the Divine Grace before you have been hurried into the
Commission of Sins that the deepest Penitence could hardly have atond for
God has enabled you to stop short of the Evil and you have nothing to do but
to rejoice in the Good which now will be doubly so because you can receive it
without the least inward Reproach
You do well said he to remind me that I owe all this to the Grace of God
I bless Him for it and I thank this good Man for his excellent Lessons I thank
his dear Daughter for following them And I hope from her good Example and
your Friendship Mr Williams in time to be half as good as my Tutoress And
that said he I believe youll own will make me without Disparagement to any
Gentleman the best Foxhunter in England Mr Williams was going to speak
And he said You put on so grave a Look Mr Williams that I believe what I
have said with you practical good Folks is liable to Exception But I see we
were become quite grave and we must not be too serious neither
What a happy Creature my dear Mother is your Pamela O may my thankful
Heart and the good Use I may be enabled to make of the Blessings before me be
a Means to continue this delightful Prospect to a long Date for the sake of the
dear good Gentleman who thus becomes the happy Instrument in the Hands of
Providence to bless all he smiles upon To be sure I shall never enough
acknowledge the Value he is pleased to express for my Unworthiness in that he
has prevented my Wishes and unaskd sought the Occasion of being reconciled
to a good Man who for my sake had incurred his Displeasure and whose Name he
could not a few Days before permit to pass thro my Lips But see the
wonderful Ways of Providence The very things that I most dreaded his seeing or
knowing the Contents of my Papers have as I hope satisfyd all his Scruples
and been a Means to promote my Happiness
Henceforth let not us poor shortsighted Mortals pretend to rely on our own
Wisdom or vainly think that we are absolutely to direct for ourselves I have
abundant Reason I am sure to say that when I was most disappointed I was
nearer my Happiness For had I made my Escape which was so often my chief
Point of View and what I had placed my Heart upon I had escaped the Blessings
now before me and fallen perhaps headlong into the Miseries I would have
avoided And yet after all it was necessary I should take the Steps I did to
bring on this wonderful Turn O the unsearchable Wisdom of God And how much
ought I to adore the Divine Goodness and humble myself who am made a poor
Instrument as I hope not only to magnify his Graciousness to this fine
Gentleman and myself but to dispense Benefits to others Which God of his Mercy
grant
In the agreeable manner I have mentioned did we pass the Time in our second
happy Tour and I thought Mrs Jewkes would have sunk into the Ground when she
saw Mr Williams brought in the Coach with us and treated so kindly We dined
together in a most pleasant and easy and frank manner and I found I needed
not from my Masters Generosity to be under any Restraint as to my Conduct to
this good Clergyman for he so often as he fansyd I was reservd movd me to
be free with him and to him and several times called upon me to help my Father
and Mr Williams and seemd to take great Delight in seeing me carve and help
round as indeed he does in every thing I do
After Dinner we went and looked into the Chapel which is a very pretty one
and very decent and when finishd as he designs it against his next coming
down will be a very pretty Place
My Heart my dear Mother when I first sat my Foot in it throbbd a good
deal with awful Joy at the Thoughts of the Solemnity which I hope will be
in a few Days performed here And when I came up towards the little pretty
Altarpiece while they were looking at a Communionpicture and saying it was
prettily done I gently stept into a Corner out of Sight and poured out my
Soul to God on my Knees in Thankfulness and Supplication that after having
been so long absent from Divine Service the first time that I enterd into a
House dedicated to His Honour should be with such blessed Prospects before me
and begging of God to continue me humble and to make me not unworthy of his
Mercies and that he would be pleased to bless the next Author of it my good
Master
I heard my Master say Wheres Pamela And so I broke off sooner than I
would and went up to him
He said Mr Williams I hope I have not so offended you by my Conduct
past for really it is what I ought to be ashamed of as that you will refuse
to officiate and to give us your Instructions here tomorrow Mr Peters was so
kind for the first time to offer it but I know it would be inconvenient for
him and besides I was willing to make this Request to you an Introduction to
our Reconciliation
Sir said he most willingly and most gratefully will I obey you Tho if
you expect a Discourse I am wholly unprepard for the Occasion I would not
have it replyd he pointed to any particular Occasion but if you have one
upon the Text There is more Joy in Heaven over one Sinner that repenteth
than over Ninetynine just Persons that need not Repentance and if it makes me
not such a sad Fellow as to be pointed at by mine and the Ladies Servants we
shall have here I shall be well content Tis a general Subject added he
makes me speak of that but any one you please will do for you cannot make a
bad Choice I am sure
Sir said he I have one upon that Text but I am ready to think that a
Thanksgiving one which I made on a great Mercy to myself if I may be permitted
to make my own Acknowledgments of your Favour the Subject of a Discourse will
be suitable to my grateful Sentiments It is on the Text Now lettest thou thy
Servant depart in Peace for my Eyes have seen thy Salvation
That Text said I will be a very suitable one for me Not so Pamela said
my Master because I dont let you depart in Peace but I hope you will stay
here with Content
O but Sir said I I have seen Gods Salvation I am sure added I if
any body ever had Reason I have to say with the blessed Virgin My Soul doth
magnify the Lord for he hath regarded the low Estate of his Handmaiden and
exalted one of low Degree
Said my good Father I am sure if there were Time for it the Book of Ruth
would afford a fine Subject for the Honour done my dear Child
Why good Mr Andrews said my Master should you say so I know that
Story and Mr Williams will confirm what I say that my good Girl here will
confer at least as much Honour as she will receive
Sir said I you are inexpressibly generous but I shall never think so
Why my Pamela said he thats another thing It will be best for me to think
you will and it will be kind in you to think you shant and then we shall have
always an excellent Rule to regulate our Conduct by to one another.
Was not this finely nobly wisely said my dear Mother O what a blessed
thing it is to be matchd to a Man of Sense and Generosity How edifying
How But what shall I say I am at a Loss for Words
Mr Williams said When we came out of the little Chapel he would go home
and look over his Discourses for one for the next Day My Master said I have
one thing to say before you go When my Jealousy on Account of this good
Girl put me upon such a vindictive Conduct to you you know I took a Bond for
the Money I had caused you to be troubled for I really am ashamed of the
Matter because I never intended when I presented it to you to have it again
you may be sure But I knew not what might happen between you and her nor how
far Matters might have gone between you and so I was willing to have that in
Awe over you And I think it is no extraordinary Present therefore to give
you up your Bond again cancelld And so he took it from his Pocket and gave
it him I think added he all the Charges attending it and the Trouble you
had were defrayd by my Attorney I orderd that they should They were Sir
said he and Ten thousand Thanks to you for this Goodness and the kind manner
in which you do it If you will go Mr Williams said he shall my Chariot
carry you home No Sir answerd he I thank you My Time will be so well
employd all the way in thinking of your Favours that I chuse to meditate upon
them as I walk home
My dear Father was very uneasy about his Habit for appearing at Chapel next
Day because of Miss Darnfords and the Servants for fear poor Man he should
disgrace my Master and he told me when he was mentioning this my Masters
kind Present of Twenty Guineas for Cloaths for you both which made my Heart
truly joyful But Oh to be sure I never can deserve the hundredth Part of his
Goodness It is almost a hard thing to lie under the Weight of such deep
Obligations on one side and such a Sense of ones own Unworthiness of the
other O what a Godlike Power is that of doing Good I envy the Rich and
the Great for nothing else
My Master coming to us just then I said Oh Sir will your Bounty know no
Limits My dear Father has told me what you have given him A Trifle Pamela
said he a little Earnest only of my Kindness Say no more of it But did I
not hear the good Man expressing some sort of Concern for somewhat Hide nothing
from me Pamela Only Sir said I he knew not how to absent himself from
Divine Service and yet is afraid of disgracing you by appearing
Fie Mr Andrews said he I thought you knew that the outward Appearance
was nothing I wish I had as good a Habit inwardly as you have But Ill tell
you Pamela your Father is not much thinner than I am nor much shorter he and
I will walk up together to my Wardrobe tho it is not so well stord here as
in Bedfordshire
And so said he pleasantly Dont you pretend to come near us till I call
you for you must not yet see how Men dress and undress themselves O Sir said
my Father I beg to be excused I am sorry you are told So am not I said my
Master Pray come along with me
He carryd him up Stairs and shewd him several Suits and would have had
him take his Choice My poor Father was quite confounded For my Master saw not
any he thought too good and my Father none that he thought bad enough And my
good Master at last he fixing his Eye upon a fine Drab which he thought
looked the plainest would help him to try the Coat and Waistcoat on himself
and indeed one would not have thought it because my Master is taller and
rather plumper as I thought but as I saw afterwards they fitted him very
well And being plain and lined with the same Colour and made for travelling
in a Coach pleased my poor Father much He gave him the whole Suit and calling
up Mrs Jewkes said Let these Cloaths be well aired against tomorrow Morning
Mr Andrews brought only with him his common Apparel not thinking to stay
Sunday with us And pray see for some of my Stockens and whether none of my
Shoes will fit him and see also for some of my Linen for we have put the good
Man quite out of his Course by keeping him Sunday over He was then pleased to
give him the silver Buckles out of his own Shoes So my good Mother you must
expect to see my dear Father a great Beau Wig said my Master he wants none
for his own venerable white Locks are better than all the Perukes in England
But I am sure I have Hats enow somewhere Ill take care of every thing Sir
said Mrs Jewkes And my poor Father when he came to me could not refrain
Tears I know not how said he to comport myself under these great Favours O
my Child it is all owing to Gods Goodness and your Virtue
Sunday
This blessed Day all the Family seemd to take Delight to equip themselves for
the Celebration of the Sabbath in the little Chapel and Lady Jones and Mr
Williams came in her Chariot and the two Miss Darnfords in their own with
each a Footman besides the Coachman And we breakfasted together in a most
agreeable manner My dear Father appeared quite spruce and neat and was greatly
caressed by the three Ladies As we were at Breakfast my Master told Mr
Williams we must let the Psalms alone he doubted for want of a Clerk but Mr
Williams said No nothing should be wanting that he could supply My Father
said If it might be permitted him he would as well as he was able perform
that Office for it was always what he had taken Delight in And as I know he
had learnt Psalmody formerly in his Youth and had constantly practised it in
private at home of Sunday Evenings as well as endeavourd to teach it in the
little School he so unsuccessfully set up at the Beginning of his Misfortunes
before he took to hard Labour I was in no Pain for his undertaking it in this
little Congregation They seemed much pleased with this and so we went to
Chapel and made a pretty tolerable Appearance Mrs Jewkes and all the
Servants attending but the Cook and I never saw Divine Service performd with
more Solemnity nor assisted at with greater Devotion and Decency my Master
Lady Jones and the two Misses setting a lovely Example
My good Father performd his Part with great Applause making the Responses
as if he had been a practised Parish Clerk and giving the2 xxiiid Psalm which
consisting of but three Staves we had it all and he read the Line and began
the Tune with a Heart so intirely affected with the Duty that he went thro it
distinctly calmly and fervently at the same time so that Lady Jones whisperd
me That good Men were fit for all Companies and present to every laudable
Occasion And Miss Darnford said God bless the dear good Man You must think
how I rejoiced in my Mind
I know my dear Mother you can say most of the shorter Psalms by Heart so
I need not transcribe it especially as your chief Treasure is a Bible and a
worthy Treasure it is I know nobody makes more or better Use of it
Mr Williams gave us an excellent Discourse on Liberality and Generosity
and the Blessing attending the right Use of Riches from the xith Chapter of
Proverbs ver 24 25 There is that scattereth and yet increaseth and there
is that withholdeth more than is meet but it tendeth to Poverty The liberal
Soul shall be made fat and he that watereth shall be watered also himself And
he treated the Subject in so handsome a manner that my Masters Delicacy who
at first was afraid of some personal Compliments was not offended he
judiciously keeping to Generals and it was an elegant and sensible Discourse
as my Master said
My Father was as in the Clerks Place just under the Desk and Lady Jones
beckond her Footman and whisperd him to beg him to favour us with another
Psalm when the Sermon was ended he thinking as he said afterwards that the
former was rather of the longest chose the shortest in the Book which you
know is the cxviith3
My Master thanked Mr Williams for his excellent Discourse and so did the
Ladies as also I did most heartily and he was pleased to take my dear Father
by the Hand as Mr Williams also did and thanked him The Ladies also made him
their kind Compliments and the Servants all looked upon him with Countenances
of Respect and Pleasure
At Dinner do what I could I was forced to take the Upperend of the Table
and my Master sat at the Lowerend between Mr Williams and my Father And he
said Pamela you are so dextrous that I think you may help the Ladies
yourself and I will help my two good Friends I should have told you tho that
I dressed myself in a flowerd Satten that was my Ladys and lookd quite
fresh and good and which was given me at first by my Master and the Ladies
who had not seen me out of my Homespun before made me abundance of fine
Compliments as soon as they saw me first
Talking of the Psalms just after Dinner my Master was very naughty if I
may so say For he said to my Father Mr Andrews I think in the Afternoon as
we shall have only Prayers we may have one longer Psalm and what think you of
the cxxxviith O good Sir said I pray pray not a Word more Say what you
will Pamela said he you shall sing it to us according to your own Version
before these good Ladies go away My Father smild but was half concernd for
me and said Will it bear and please your Honour O ay said he never fear
it so long as Mrs Jewkes is not in the Hearing
This excited all the Ladies Curiosity and Lady Jones said She should be
loth to desire to hear any thing that would concern me but should be glad I
would give Leave for it Indeed Madam said I I must beg you wont insist upon
it I cannot bear it You shall see it indeed Ladies said my Master and
pray Pamela not always as you please neither Then pray Sir said I not
in my hearing I hope Sure Pamela returnd he you would not write what is
not fit to be heard But Sir said I there are particular Cases Times and
Occasions that may make a thing passable at one time that would not be
tolerable at another O said he let me judge of that as well as you Pamela
These Ladies know a good Part of your Story and let me tell you what they
know is more to your Credit than mine so that if I have no Averseness to
reviving the Occasion you may very well bear it Said he I will put you out of
your Pain Pamela I believe I put it in my Pocket on purpose
I stood up and said Indeed Sir I cant bear it I hope youll allow me
to leave the Room a Minute if you will read it Indeed but I wont answerd
he Lady Jones said Pray good Sir dont let us hear it if Mrs Andrews be so
unwilling Well Pamela said my Master I will put it to your Choice whether I
shall read it now or you will sing it byandby Thats very hard Sir said I
It must be one I assure you said he Why then Sir replyd I you must do as
you please for I cannot sing it
Well then said my Master I find I must read it and yet added he after
all I had as well let it alone for it is no great Reputation to myself O
then said Miss Darnford pray let us hear it to chuse
Why then proceeded he the Case was this Pamela I find when she was in
the Time of her Confinement that is added he when she was taken Prisoner in
order to make me one for that is the Upshot of the Matter in the Journal she
kept which was intended for nobodys Perusal but her Parents tells them That
she was importuned one Sunday by Mrs Jewkes to sing a Psalm but her Spirits
not permitting she declind it But after Mrs Jewkes was gone down she says
she recollected that the cxxxviith Psalm was applicable to her own Case Mrs
Jewkes having often on other Days in vain besought her to sing a Song That
thereupon she turnd it more to her own supposed Case and believing Mrs Jewkes
had a Design against her Honour and looking upon her as her Gaoler she thus
gives her Version of this Psalm But pray Mr Williams do you read one Verse
of the common Translation and I will read one of Pamelas Then Mr Williams
pulling out his little Pocket Commonprayer Book read the first two Stanzas
I
When we did sit in Babylon
The Rivers round about
Then in Remembrance of Sion
The Tears for Grief burst out
II
We hangd our Harps and Instruments
The Willowtrees upon
For in that Place Men for that Use
Had planted many a one
My Master then read
I
When sad I sat in Bn hall
All watched round about
And thought of every absent Friend
The Tears for Grief burst out
II
My Joys and Hopes all overthrown
My Heartstrings almost broke
Unfit my Mind for Melody
Much more to bear a Joke
The Ladies said It was very pretty and Miss Darnford That somebody else had
well observd that I had need to be less concerned than themselves
I knew said my Master I should get no Credit by shewing this But let us
read on Mr Williams So Mr Williams read
III
Then they to whom we Prisners were
Said to us tauntingly
Now let us hear your Hebrew Songs
And pleasant Melody
Now this said my Master is very near And read
III
Then she to whom I Prisner was
Said to me tauntingly
Now chear your Heart and sing a Song
And tune your Mind to Joy
Mighty sweet said Mr Williams But let us see how the next Verse is turnd It
is this
IV
Alas said we who can once frame
His heavy Heart to sing
The Praises of our loving God
Thus under a strange King
Why said my Master it is turnd with beautiful Simplicity thus
IV
Alas said I how can I frame
My heavy Heart to sing
Or tune my Mind while thus inthralld
By such a wicked Thing
Very pretty said Mr Williams Lady Jones said O dear Madam can you wish
that we should be deprivd of this new Instance of your Genius and
Accomplishments
O said my dear Father you will make my good Child proud No said my
Master very generously Pamela cant be proud For no one is proud to hear
themselves praisd but those who are not usd to it But proceed Mr
Williams He read
V
But yet if I Jerusalem
Out of my Heart let slide
Then let my Fingers quite forget
The warbling Harp to guide
Well now said my Master for Pamelas Version
V
But yet if from my Innocence
I evn in Thought should slide
Then let my Fingers quite forget
The sweet Spinnet to guide
Mr Williams read
VI
And let my Tongue within my Mouth
Be tyd for ever fast
If I rejoice before I see
Thy full Delivrance past
This also said my Master is very near
VI
And let my Tongue within my Mouth
Be lockd for ever fast
If I rejoice before I see
My full Delivrance past
Now good Sir said I oblige me dont read any further Pray dont O pray
Madam said Mr Williams let me beg to have the rest read for I long to know
who you make the Sons of Edom and how you turn the Psalmists Execrations
against the insulting Babylonians
Well Mr Williams replyd I you should not have said so O said my
Master that is one of the best things of all Poor Mrs Jewkes stands for Edom
s Sons and we must not lose this because I think it one of my Pamelas
Excellencies that tho thus oppressd she prays for no Harm upon the
Oppressor Read Mr Williams the next Stanza So he read
VII
Therefore O Lord remember now
The cursed Noise and Cry
That Edoms Sons against us made
When they raisd our City
VIII
Remember Lord their cruel Words
When with a mighty Sound
They cried Down yea down with it
Unto the very Ground
Well said my Master here seems in what I am going to read a little bit of a
Curse indeed but I think it makes no ill Figure in the Comparison
VII
And thou Almighty recompense
The Evils I endure
From those who seek my sad Disgrace
So causeless to procure
And now said he for Edoms Sons Tho a little severe in the Imputation
VIII
Remember Lord this Mrs Jewkes
When with a mighty Sound
She cries Down with her Chastity
Down to the very Ground
Sure Sir said I this might have been spard But the Ladies and Mr Williams
said No by no means And I see the poor wicked Woman has no Favourers among
them
Now said my Master read the Psalmists heavy Curses And Mr Williams
read
IX
Evn so shalt thou O Babylon
At length to Dust be brought
And happy shall that Man be calld
That our Revenge hath wrought
X
Yea blessed shall that Man be calld
That takes thy little ones
And dasheth them in pieces small
Against the very Stones
Thus said he very kindly has my Pamela turnd these Lines
IX
Evn so shalt thou O wicked one
At length to Shame be brought
And happy shall all those be calld
That my Delivrance wrought
X
Yea blessed shall the Man be calld
That shames thee of thy Evil
And saves me from thy vile Attempts
And thee too from the Dl
I fansy this blessed Man said my Master smiling was at that time hoped to
be you Mr Williams if the Truth was known Sir said he whoever it was
intended for then it can be nobody but your good Self now
I could hardly hold up my Head for the Praises the kind Ladies were pleased
to heap upon me I am sure by this they are very partial in my Favour all
because my Master is so good to me and loves to hear me praised for I see no
such Excellence in these Lines as they would make me believe besides what is
borrowd from the Psalmist
We all as before and the Cookmaid too attended the Prayers of the Church
in the Afternoon and my dear Father concluded with the following Stanzas of the
cxlvth Psalm suitably magnifying the holy Name of God for all his Mercies but
did not observe altogether the Method in which they stand which was the less
necessary he thought as he gave out the Lines
The Lord is just in all his ways
His Works are holy all
And he is near all those that do
In Truth upon him call
He the Desires of all of them
That fear him will fulfil
And he will hear them when they cry
And save them all he will
The Eyes of all do wait on thee
Thou dost them all relieve
And thou to each sufficing Food
In Season due dost give
Thou openest thy plenteous Hand
And bounteously dost fill
All things whatever that do live
With Gifts of thy Goodwill
My thankful Mouth shall gladly speak
The Praises of the Lord
All Flesh to praise his holy Name
For ever shall accord
We walked in the Garden till Tea was ready and as we went by the Backdoor my
Master said to me Of all the Flowers in the Garden the Sunflower is the
fairest O Sir said I let that be now forgot Mr Williams heard him say
so and seemd a little out of Countenance Whereupon my Master said I mean not
to make you serious Mr Williams but we see how strangely things are brought
about I see other Scenes hereabouts that in my Pamelas Dangers give me more
Cause of Concern than any thing you ever did should give you Sir said he
you are very generous
My Master and Mr Williams afterwards walked together for a Quarter of an
Hour and talked about general things and some scholastic Subjects and joined
us very well pleased with one another's Conversation
Lady Jones said putting herself on one side of me as my Master was of the
other But pray Sir when is the happy Time to be We want it over that we may
have you with us as long afterwards as you can Said my Master I would have it
tomorrow or next Day at farthest if Pamela will For I have sent for a
Licence and the Messenger will be here tonight or early in the Morning I
hope But added he pray Pamela do not take beyond Thursday She was pleased
to say Sure it will not be delayd by you Madam more than needs Well said
he now you are on my Side I will leave you with her to settle it And I
hope she will not let little bashful Niceties be important with her and so he
joined the two Misses
Lady Jones told me I was to blame she would take upon her to say if I
delayd it a Moment because she understood Lady Davers was very uneasy at the
Prospect that it would be so and if any thing should happen it would be a sad
thing Madam said I when he was pleased to mention it to me first he said
it should be in fourteen Days and afterwards askd me if I would have it in
the first or the second Seven I answerd for how could I do otherwise In
the second He desird it might not be the last Day of the second Seven Now
Madam said I as he was then pleased to speak his Mind no doubt I would not
for any thing seem too forward
Well but said she as he now urges you in so genteel and gentlemanly a
manner for a shorter Day I think if I was in your place I would agree to it
She saw me hesitate and blush and said Well you know best but I say only
what I would do I said I would consider of it and if I saw he was very
earnest to be sure I should think I ought to oblige him
Miss Darnfords were begging to be at the Wedding and to have a Ball And
they said Pray Mrs Andrews second our Requests and we shall be greatly
obliged to you Indeed Ladies said I I cannot promise that if I might Why
so said they Because answerd I I know not what But I think one may
with Pleasure celebrate an Anniversary of ones Nuptials but the Day itself
Indeed Ladies I think it is too solemn a Business for the Parties of our Sex
to be very gay upon It is a quite serious and awful Affair And I am sure in
your own Cases you would be of my Mind Why then said Miss Darnford the more
need one has to be as lighthearted and merry as one can
I told you said my Master what sort of an Answer youd have from Pamela
The younger Miss said She never heard of such grave Folks in her Life on such
an Occasion Why Sir said she I hope youll sing Psalms all Day and Miss
will fast and pray Such Sackcloth and Ashes Doings for a Wedding did I never
hear of She spoke a little spitefully I thought and I returnd no Answer I
shall have enough to do I reckon in awhile if I am to answer every one that
will envy me
We went in to Tea and all the Ladies could prevail upon my Master for was
a Dancingmatch before he left this Country but Miss Darnford said It should
then be at their House for truly if she might not be at the Wedding she
would be affronted and come no more hither till we had been there
When they were gone my Master would have had my Father stay till the Affair
was over but he beggd he might set out as soon as it was light in the Morning
for he said my Mother would be doubly uneasy at his Stay and he burned with
Impatience to let her know all the happy things that had befallen her Daughter
When my Master found him so desirous to go he called Mr Thomas and orderd
him to get a particular Bayhorse ready betimes in the Morning for my Father
and a Portmanteau to put his Things in and to attend him a Days Journey And
if said he Mr Andrews chuses it see him safe to his own Home And added he
as that Horse will serve you Mr Andrews to ride backwards and forwards to
see us when we go to Bedfordshire I make you a Present of it with the
Accoutrements And seeing my Father going to speak he added I wont be said
Nay O how good was this
He also said a great many kind things at Suppertime and gave him all the
Papers he had of mine but desird when he and my Mother had read them that he
would return them to him again And then he said So affectionate a Father and
Daughter may perhaps be glad to be alone together therefore remember me to
your good Wife and tell her it will not be long I hope before I see you
together on a Visit to your Daughter at my other House and so I wish you
Goodnight and a good Journey if you go before I see you and then he shook
Hands and left my dear Father almost unable to speak thro the Sense of his
Favours and Goodness
You may believe my dear Mother how loth I was to part with my good Father
and he was also unwilling to part with me but he was so impatient to see you
and tell you the blessed Tidings with which his Heart overflowd that I could
hardly wish to detain him
Mrs Jewkes brought two Bottles of Cherrybrandy and two Bottles of
Cinamonwater and some Cake and they were put up in the Portmanteau with my
Fathers newly presented Cloaths for he said he would not for any thing, be
seen in them in his Neighbourhood till I was actually known by every body to
be marryd nor would he lay out any part of the twenty Guineas till then
neither for fear of Reflections and then he would consult me as to what he
should buy Well said I as you please my dear Father and I hope now we shall
often have the Pleasure of hearing from one another, without needing any Art or
Contrivances
He said he would go tobed betimes that he might be up as soon as it was
light and so he took Leave of me and said he would not love me if I got up in
the Morning to see him go which would but make us more loth to part and grieve
us both all Day
Mr Thomas brought him a Pair of Boots and told him he would call him up
at peep of Day and put up every thing over Night and so I received his
Blessing and his Prayers and his kind Promises of procuring the same from you
my dear Mother and went up to my Closet with a heavy Heart and yet a half
pleased one if I may so say for that as he must go he was going to the best
of Wives and with the best of Tidings But I beggd he would not work so hard
as he had done for I was sure my Master would not have given him twenty Guineas
for Cloaths if he had not designed to do something else for him and that he
should be the less concernd at receiving Benefits from my good Master because
he who had so many Persons to employ in his large Possessions could make him
serviceable to an equivalent Degree without hurting any body else
He promised me fair and pray dear Mother see he performs I hope my
Master will not see this For I will not send it you at present till I can
send you the best of News and the rather as my dear Father can supply the
greatest Part of what I have written since the Papers he carries you by his
own Observation So God bless you both Goodnight And send my Father a safe
Journey and a happy Meeting to you both
Monday
M Colbrand being returnd my Master came up to me to my Closet and brought me
the Licence O how my Heart flutterd at the Sight of it Now Pamela said he
tell me If you can oblige me with the Day Your Word is all thats wanting I
made bold to kiss his dear Hand and tho unable to look up said I know not
what to say Sir to all your Goodness I would not for any Consideration that
you should believe me capable of receiving negligently an Honour that all the
Duty of a long Life were it to be lent me will not be sufficient to enable me
to be grateful for I ought to resign myself in every thing I may or can
implicitly to your Will But But what said he with a kind Impatience Why
Sir said I when from last Thursday you mentiond Fourteen Days I had Reason
to think that Term your Choice and my Heart is so wholly yours that I am
afraid of nothing but that I may he forwarder than you wish Impossible my
dear Creature said he and folded me in his Arms impossible If this be all
it shall be set about this Moment and this happy Day shall make you mine
Ill send away instantly said the dear Gentleman and was going
I said No pray Sir pray Sir hear me Indeed it cannot be today
Cannot said he No indeed Sir said I And was ready to sink to see his
generous Impatience Why flatterd you then my fond Heart said he with the
Hope that it might Sir said I I will tell you what I had thought if youll
vouchsafe me your Attention Do then said he
I have Sir proceeded I a great Desire that whenever the Day is it may
be of a Thursday Of a Thursday my dear Father and Mother were marryd and tho
poor they are a very happy Pair Of a Thursday your poor Pamela was born Of
a Thursday my dear good Lady took me from my Parents into her Protection Of a
Thursday Sir you causd me to be carryd away to this Place to which I now
by Gods Goodness and your Favour owe so amazingly all my present Prospects
and of a Thursday it was you namd to me that Fourteen Days from that you
would confirm my Happiness Now Sir if you please to indulge my superstitious
Folly you will greatly oblige me I was sorry Sir for this Reason when you
bid me not defer till the last Day of the Fourteen that Thursday in next Week
was that last Day
This Pamela is a little superstitious I must needs say and I think you
should begin now to make another Day in the Week a happy one as for Example, On
a Monday may you say my Father and Mother concluded to be marryd on the
Thursday following Of a Monday so many Years ago my Mother was preparing all
her Matters to be brought tobed on the Thursday following Of a Monday
several Weeks ago it was that you had but two Days more to stay till you was
carryd away on Thursday On a Monday I myself said he well remember it was
that I wrote you the Letter that prevaild on you so kindly to return to me
and on the same Day you did return to my House here which I hope my Girl
will be as propitious an Æra as any you have namd And now lastly will you
say which will crown the Work And on a Monday I was marryd Come come my
Dear added he Thursday has reignd long enough o Conscience let us now set
Monday in its Place or at least on an Equality with it since you see it has a
very good Title and as we now stand in the Week before us claims Priority and
then I hope we shall make Tuesday Wednesday Friday Saturday and Sunday as
happy Days as Monday and Thursday and so by Gods Blessing move round as the
Days move in a delightful Circle till we are at a Loss what Day to prefer to
the rest
O how charmingly was this said And how sweetly kind
Indeed Sir said I you rally my Folly very agreeably but dont let a
little Matter stand in the way when you are so generously obliging in greater
Indeed I like Thursday best if I may chuse
Well then said he if you can say you have a better Reason than this I
will oblige you else Ill send away for the Parson this Moment
And so I protest he was going Dear Sirs how I trembled Stay stay
Sir said I We have a great deal to say first I have a deal of silly Prate to
trouble you with Well say then in a Minute replyd he the most material
for all we have to say may be talkd of while the Parson is coming O but
indeed and indeed said I it cannot be today Well then shall it be
tomorrow said he Why Sir if it must not be of a Thursday you have given
so many pleasant Distinctions for a Monday that let it then be next Monday
What a Week still said he Sir answerd I if you please for that will be
as you injoind within the second Seven Days Why Girl said he twill be
Seven Months till next Monday Let it said he if not tomorrow be on
Wednesday I protest I will stay no longer
Then Sir returnd I please to defer it however for one Day more and it
will be my beloved Thursday If I consent to defer it till then may I hope my
Pamela said he that next Thursday shall certainly be the happy Day Yes
Sir said I and I am sure I lookd very foolishly
And yet my dear Father and Mother why should I with such a fine
Gentleman And whom I so dearly love And so much to my Honour too But there is
something greatly awful upon my Mind in the solemn Circumstance and a Change
of Condition never to be recalld tho all the Prospects are so desirable And
I can but wonder at the thoughtless Precipitancy with which most young Folks
run into this important Change of Life
So now my dear Parents have I been brought to fix so near a Day as next
Thursday and this is Monday O dear it makes one out of Breath almost to think
of it This tho was a great Cutoff a whole Week out of ten Days I hope I
am not too forward Im sure if it obliges my dear Master I am justifyd for
he deserves all things of me in my poor Power
After this he rode out on Horseback attended by Abraham and did not
return till Night How by degrees Things steal upon one I thought even this
small Absence tedious and the more as we expected him home to Dinner I wish
I may not be too fond and make him indifferent But yet my dear Father and
Mother you were always fond of one another, and never indifferent let the
World run as it would
When he returned he said he had had a pleasant Ride and was led out to a
greater Distance than he intended At Supper he told me that he had a great
mind Mr Williams should marry us because he said it should shew a thorough
Reconciliation of his Part But said he most generously I am apprehensive on
what passed between you that the poor Man will take it hardly and as a sort of
Insult which I am not capable of What says my Girl Do you think he would I
hope not Sir said I For as to what he may think I cant answer but as to
any Reason for his Thoughts I could But indeed Sir said I you have been
already so generous that he cannot I think mistake your Goodness
He then spoke with some Resentment of Lady Daverss Behaviour and I askd
If any thing new had occurrd Yes said he I have had a Letter deliverd me
from her impertinent Husband professedly at her Instigation that amounted to
little less than a Piece of insolent Bravery on supposing I was about to marry
you I was so provokd added he that after I had read it I tore it into a
hundred Pieces and scatterd them in the Air and bid the Man who brought it
let his Master know what I had done with his Letter and so would not permit him
to speak to me as he would fain have done I think the Fellow talkd somewhat
of his Lady coming hither but she shall not set her Foot within my Doors and I
suppose this Treatment will hinder her
I was much concernd at this And he said Had I an hundred Sisters Pamela
their Opposition should have no Weight with me and I did not intend you should
know it but you cant but expect a little Difficulty from the Pride of my
Sister who have sufferd so much from that of her Brother and we are too
nearly allyd in Mind as well as Blood I find But this is not her Business
And if she would have made it so she should have done it with more Decency
Little Occasion had she to boast of her Birth that knows not what belongs to
good Manners
I said I am very sorry Sir to be the unhappy Occasion of a
Misunderstanding between so good a Brother and so worthy a Sister Dont say
so Pamela because this is an indispensable Consequence of the happy Prospect
before us Only bear it well yourself because she is my Sister and leave it
to me to make her sensible of her own Rashness
If Sir said I the most lowly Behaviour and humble Deportment and in
every thing shewing a dutiful Regard to good Lady Davers will have any Weight
with her Ladyship assure yourself of all in my Power to mollify her No
Pamela returnd he dont imagine when you are my Wife I will suffer you to
do any thing unworthy of that Character I know the Duty of a Husband and will
protect your Gentleness to the utmost as if you were a Princess by Descent
You are inexpressibly good Sir said I but I am far from taking a gentle
Disposition to shew a Meanness of Spirit And this is a Trial I ought to
expect and well I may bear it that have so many Benefits to set against it
which all spring from the same Cause
Well said he all the Matter shall be this We will talk of our Marriage as
a Thing to be done next Week I find I have Spies upon me whereever I go and
whatever I do But now I am on so laudable a Pursuit that I value them not
nor their Employers I have already orderd my Servants to communicate with
nobody for ten or twelve Days to come And Mrs Jewkes tells me every one names
Thursday come Sevnight for our Nuptials So I will get Mr Peters who wants to
see my little Chapel to assist Mr Williams under the Notion of breakfasting
with me next Thursday Morning since you wont have it sooner and there will
want nobody else and I will beg of Mr Peters to keep it private even from his
own Family for a few Days Has my Girl any Objection
O Sir answerd I you are so generous in all your Ways I can have no
Objections But I hope Lady Davers and you will not proceed to irreconcileable
Lengths and when her Ladyship comes to see you and to tarry with you two or
three Weeks as she usd to do I will keep close up so as not to disgust her
with my Sight Well Pamela said he we will talk of that afterwards You must
do then as I shall think fit And I shall be able to judge what both you and I
ought to do But what still aggravates the Matter is that she should instigate
the titled Ape her Husband to write to me after she had so little succeeded
herself I wish I had kept his Letter that I might shew you how a Man that acts
generally like a Fool can take upon him to write like a Lord But I suppose it
is of my Sisters Penning and he poor Man is the humble Copier
Tuesday
Mr Thomas is returnd from you my dear Father with the good News of your
Health and continuing your Journey to my dear Mother where I hope to hear soon
you are arrivd My Master has just now been making me play upon the Spinnet
and singing to it and was pleasd to commend me for both But he does so for
every thing I do so partial does his Goodness make him to me
One oClock
We are just returnd from an Airing in the Chariot and I have been delighted
with his Conversation upon English Authors Poets particularly He entertaind
me also with a Description of some of the Curiosities he had seen in Italy and
France when he made what the polite World call the grand Tour He said he
wanted to be at his other Seat for he knew not well how to employ himself here
having not purposd to stay half the Time And when I get there Pamela said
he you will hardly be troubled with so much of my Company after we are
settled for I have a great many things to adjust and I must go to London For
I have Accounts that have run longer than ordinary with my Banker there And I
dont know added he but the ensuing Winter I may give you a little Taste of
the Diversions of the Town for a Month or so I said his Will and Pleasure
should determine mine and I never would as near as I could have a Desire
after those or any other Things that were not in his own Choice
He was pleasd to say I make no doubt I shall be very happy in you and
hope you will be so in me For said he I have no very enormous Vices to
gratify tho I pretend not to the greatest Purity neither my Girl Sir said
I if you can account to your own Mind I shall always be easy in whatever you
do But our greatest Happiness here Sir continued I is of very short
Duration and this Life where longest is a poor transitory Stage and I hope
we shall be so happy as to be enabled to look forward with Comfort to one
other where our Pleasures will be everlasting
You say well Pamela and I shall by degrees be more habituated to this
way of thinking as I more and more converse with you but at present you must
not be over serious with me all at once Tho I charge you never forbear to
mingle your sweet Divinity in our Conversation whenever it can be brought in
àpropos and with such a Chearfulness of Temper as shall not throw a gloomy
Cloud over our innocent Enjoyments
I was abashd at this and silent fearing I had offended but he said If
you attend rightly to what I said I need not tell you again Pamela not to be
discouragd from suggesting to me on every proper Occasion the pious Impulses
of your own amiable Mind Sir said I you will be always indulgent I make no
doubt to my Imperfections so long as I mean well
My Master made me dine with him and would eat nothing but what I helpd him
to and my Heart is every Hour more and more inlargd with his Goodness and
Condescension But still what ails me I wonder a strange sort of Weight hangs
upon my Mind as Thursday draws on which makes me often sigh involuntarily and
damps at times the Pleasures of my delightful Prospects I hope this is not
ominous but only the foolish Weakness of an overthoughtful Mind on an
Occasion the most solemn and important of ones Life next to the last Scene
which shuts up all
I could be very serious But I will commit all my Ways to that blessed
Providence which hitherto has so wonderfully conducted me thro real Evils to
this hopeful Situation
I only fear and sure I have great Reason that I shall be too unworthy
to hold the Affections of so dear a Gentleman God teach me Humility and to
know my own Demerit And this will be next to his Grace my surest Guard in
the State of Life to which I am most unworthily going to be exalted And dont
cease your Prayers for me my dear Parents for perhaps this new Condition may
be subject to still worse Hazards than those I have escapd as would be the
Case were Conceitedness Vanity and Pride to take hold of my frail Heart and
if I was for my Sins to be left to my own Conduct a frail Ship in a
tempestuous Ocean without Ballast or other Pilot than my own inconsiderate
Will But my Master said on another Occasion that those who doubted most
always erred least and I hope I shall always doubt my own Strength my own
Worthiness
I will not trouble you with twenty sweet agreeable things that passd in
Conversation with my excellent Benefactor nor with the Civilities of Mr
Colbrand Mrs Jewkes and all the Servants who seem to be highly pleasd with
me and with my Conduct to them And as my Master hitherto finds no Fault
that I go too low nor they that I carry it too high I hope I shall continue to
have every bodys Goodwill But yet will I not seek to gain any ones by little
Meannesses or Debasements but aim at an uniform and regular Conduct willing to
conceal involuntary Errors as I would have my own forgiven and not too
industrious to discover real ones or to hide such if any such should appear
as might encourage bad Hearts or unclean Hands in material Cases where my
Master should receive Damage or where the Morals of the Transgressors should
appear wilfully and habitually corrupt In short I will endeavour as much as I
can that a good Servant shall in me find a kind Encourager an indifferent one
be made better by inspiring them with a laudable Emulation and a bad one if
not too bad in Nature, and quite irreclaimable reformd by Kindness
Expostulation and even proper Menaces if necessary but most by a good
Example All this if God pleases
Wednesday
Now my dear Parents I have but this one Day between me and the most solemn
Rite that can be performd My Heart cannot yet shake off this heavy Weight
Sure I am ingrateful to Gods Goodness and the Favour of the best of
Benefactors Yet I hope I am not for at times my Mind is all Exultation
with the Prospect of what Good tomorrows happy Solemnity may possibly by
Leave of my generous Master put it in my Power to do O how shall I find Words
to express as I ought my Thankfulness for all the Mercies before me
Wednesday Evening
My dear Master is all Love and Tenderness He sees my Weakness and he
generously pities and comforts me I beggd to be excusd Supper but he brought
me down himself from my Closet and placd me by him bidding Abraham not wait
I could not eat and yet I tryd for fear he should be angry He kindly forbore
to hint any thing of the dreadful yet delightful tomorrow and put
nowandthen a little Bit on my Plate and guided it to my Mouth I was
concernd to receive his Goodness with so ill a Grace Well said he if you
wont eat with me drink at least with me I drank two Glasses by his
Overpersuasions and said I am really ashamd of myself Why indeed said he
my dear Girl I am not a very dreadful Enemy I hope I cannot bear any thing
that is the least concerning to you Oh Sir said I all is owing to the Sense
I have of my own Unworthiness To be sure it cannot be any thing else
He rung for the Things to be taken away And then reachd a Chair and sat
down by me and put his kind Arms about me and said the most generous and
affecting Things that ever dropt from the Honeyflowing Mouth of Love All I
have not time to repeat Some I will and oh indulge your foolish Daughter who
troubles you with her weak Nonsense because what she has to say is so
affecting to her and because if she went tobed instead of scribbling she
cannot sleep
This sweet Confusion and Thoughtfulness in my beloved Pamela said the kind
Man on the near Prospect of our happy Union when I hope all Doubts are cleard
up and nothing of Dishonour is apprehended shew me most abundantly what a
Wretch I was to attempt such Purity with a worse Intention No wonder that
one so virtuous should find herself deserted of Life itself on a Violence so
dreadful to her Honour and refuge herself in the Shadow of Death But now my
dearest Pamela that you have seen a Purity on my Side as nearly imitating your
own as our Sex can shew to yours and that I have all the Day long suppressd
even the least Intimation of the coming Day that I might not alarm your tender
Mind why all this Concern why all this affecting yet sweet Confusion You
have a generous Friend my dear Girl in me a Protector now not a Violator of
your Innocence Why then once more I ask this strange Perplexity this sweet
Confusion
O Sir said I and hid my Face in his Arms expect not Reason from a foolish
Creature You should have still indulgd me in my Closet I am ready to beat
myself for this ungrateful Return to your Goodness But I know not what I am
to be sure a silly Creature O had you but sufferd me to stay by myself above
I should have made myself ashamd of so culpable a Behaviour But Goodness
added to Goodness every Moment and the Sense of my own Unworthiness quite
confound me
Now said the generous Man will I tho reluctantly make a Proposal to my
sweet Girl If I have been too pressing for the Day If another Day will still
be more obliging If you have Fears that will not then be you shall say but the
Word and Ill submit Yes tho I have my Pamela for these three Days past
thought every tedious Hour a Day till Thursday comes if you earnestly desire
it I will postpone it Say my dear Girl freely say but accept not my
Proposal without great Reason which yet I will not ask for
Sir said I I can expect nothing but superlative Goodness I have now been
so long usd to it from you This is a most generous Instance of it but I fear
yes I fear it will be but too much the same thing some Days hence when the
happy yet Fool that I am dreaded Time shall be equally near
Kind lovely Charmer said he now do I see you are to be trusted with
Power from the generous Use you make of it Not one offensive Word or Look
from me shall wound your nicest Thoughts but pray try to subdue this
Overscrupulousness and unseasonable Timidity I persuade myself you will if you
can
Indeed Sir I will said I for I am quite ashamd of myself with all
these lovely Prospects before me The Honours you do me the Kindness you shew
me I cannot forgive myself For oh if I know the least of this idle foolish
Heart of mine it has not a misgiving Thought of your Goodness and I should
abhor it if it were capable of the least Affectation But dear good Sir
leave me a little to myself and I will take myself to severer Task than your
Goodness will let you do And I will present my Heart before you a worthier
Offering to you than at present its wayward Follies will let it seem to be
But one thing is one has no kind Friend of ones own Sex to communicate ones
foolish Thoughts to and to be strengthend by their Comfortings But I am
left to myself and oh what a weak silly Thing I am
He kindly withdrew to give me Time to recollect myself and in about half
an Hour returnd And then that he might not begin at once upon the Subject
and say at the same time something agreeable to me said Your Father and Mother
have had a great deal of Talk by this Time about you Pamela O Sir returnd
I your Goodness has made them quite happy But I cant help being concernd
about Lady Davers
He said I am vexd I did not hear the Footman out because it runs in my
Head he talkd somewhat about her coming hither She will meet with but an
indifferent Reception from me without she comes resolvd to behave better than
she writes
Pray Sir said I be pleasd to bear with my good Lady for two Reasons
What are they said he Why first Sir answerd I Because she is your Sister
and to be sure may very well think what all the World will that you have
much demeand yourself in making me happy And next Because if her Ladyship
finds you out of Temper with her it will still aggravate her more against me
and every time that any warm Words you may use between you come into her Mind
she will disdain me more
Dont concern yourself about it said he for we have more proud Ladies than
she in our tother Neighbourhood who perhaps have still less Reason to be
punctilious about their Descent and yet will form themselves upon her Example
and say Why his own Sister will not forgive him nor visit him And so if I
can subdue her Spirit which is more than her Husband ever could or indeed any
body else it is a great Point gaind And if she gives me Reason Ill try for
it I assure you
Well but my dear Girl continud he since the Subject is so important may
I not say one Word about tomorrow Sir said I I hope I shall be less a
Fool I have talkd as harshly to my Heart as Lady Davers can do and the
naughty Thing suggests to me a better and more grateful Behaviour
He smild and kissing me said I took Notice Pamela of what you
observd that you have none of your own Sex with you I think it is a little
hard upon you and I should have likd you should have had Miss Darnford but
then her Sister must have been askd and I might as well make a publick
Wedding which you know would have requird Cloaths and other Preparations
Besides added he a foolish Proposal was once made me of that second Sister
who has two or three thousand Pounds more than the other left her by a
Godmother and she cant help being a little piqud tho said he it was a
Proposal they could not expect should succeed for there is nothing in her
Person nor Mind and her Fortune as that must have been the only Inducement
would not do by any means and so I discouragd it at once
I am thinking Sir said I of another mortifying Thing too That were you
to marry a Lady of Birth and Fortune answerable to your own all the Eve to the
Day would be taken up in reading signing and sealing of Settlements and
Portion and suchlike But now the poor Pamela brings you nothing at all And
the very Cloaths she wears so very low is she are intirely the Effects of your
Bounty and that of your good Mother This makes me a little sad For alas
Sir I am so much oppressed by your Favours and the Sense of the Obligations I
owe you that I cannot look up with the Confidence that I otherwise should on
this awful Occasion
There is my dear Pamela said he where the Power is wanting as much
Generosity in the Will as in the Action To all that know your Story and your
Merit it will appear that I cannot recompense you for what I have made you
suffer You have had too many hard Struggles and Exercises and have nobly
overcome and who shall grudge you the Reward of the hardbought Victory This
Affair is so much the Act of my own Will that I glory in being capable of
distinguishing so much Excellence and my Fortune is the more pleasureable to
me as it gives me Hope that I may make you some Part of Satisfaction for what
you have undergone
This Sir said I is all Goodness unmerited on my Side and makes my
Obligations the greater I can only wish for more Worthiness But how poor is
it to offer nothing but Words for such generous Deeds And to say I wish
For what is a Wish but the acknowledgd want of Power to oblige And a
Demonstration of ones Poverty in every thing but Will
And that my dear Girl said he is every thing Tis All I want Tis All
that God himself requires of us for where there is a Will the Actions must be
governd by it or it cannot be called a Will But no more of these little
Doubts tho they are the natural Impulses of a generous and grateful Heart I
want not to be employd in Settlements That is for those to regard who make
Convenience and Fortune the prime Considerations I have Possessions ample
enough for us both and you deserve to share them with me and you shall do it
with as little Reserve as if you had brought me what the World reckons an
Equivalent For as to my own Opinion you bring me what is infinitely more
valuable an experiencd Truth a welltryd Virtue and a Wit and Behaviour
more than equal to the Station you will be placed in To say nothing of this
sweet Person that itself might captivate a Monarch and of the Meekness of a
Temper and Sweetness of Disposition which make you superior to all the Women I
ever saw
Thus kind and soothing and honourably affectionate was the dear Gentleman
to the unworthy doubting yet assured Pamela and thus patiently did he
indulge and generously pardon my impertinent Weakness He offerd to go
himself to Lady Jones in the Morning and reveal the Matter to her and desire
her Secrecy and Presence but I said That would disoblige the young Lady
Darnfords No Sir said I I will cast myself upon your generous Kindness for
why should I fear the kind Protector of my Weakness and the Guide and Director
of my future Steps
You cannot said he forgive Mrs Jewkes for she must know it and suffer
her to be with you Yes Sir said I I can She is very civil to me now And
her former Wickedness I will forgive for the sake of the happy Fruits that have
attended it and because you mention her
Well said he I will call her in if you please As you please Sir said
I And he rung for her and when she came in he said Mrs Jewkes I am going
to intrust you with a Secret Sir answerd she I will be sure to keep it as
such Why said he we intend tomorrow privately as possible for our
Weddingday and Mr Peters and Mr Williams are to be here as to Breakfast
with me and to shew Mr Peters my little Chapel As soon as the Ceremony is
over we will take a little Airing in the Chariot as we have done at other
times and so it will not be wonderd that we are dressd And the two Parsons
have promisd Secrecy and will go home I believe you cant well avoid letting
one of the Maids into the Secret but that I leave to you
Sir replyd she we all concluded it would be in a few Days and I doubt it
wont be long a Secret No said he I dont desire it should but you know we
are not provided for a publick Wedding and I shall declare it when we go to
Bedfordshire which wont be long But the Men who lie in the Outhouses need
not know it for by some means or other my Sister Davers knows all that
passes
Do you know Sir said she that her Ladyship intends to be down here with
you in a few Days Her Servant told me so who brought you the Letter you was
angry at I hope said he we shall be set out for tother House first and
shall be pleased she loses her Labour Sir continud she her Ladyship proposes
to be here time enough to hinder your Nuptials which she as well as we did
takes will be the Latterend of next Week Well said he let her come but yet
I desire not to see her
Mrs Jewkes said to me Give me Leave Madam to wish you all manner of
Happiness But I am afraid I have too well obeyd his Honour to be forgiven by
you Indeed Mrs Jewkes returnd I you will be more your own Enemy than I
will be I will look all forward And shall not presume so much as by a
Whisper to set my good Master against any one he pleases to approve of And as
to his old Servants I shall always value them and never offer to dictate to
his Choice or influence it by my own Caprices
Mrs Jewkes said my Master you find you have no Cause to apprehend any
thing. My Pamela is very placable and as we have both been Sinners together we
must be both included in one Act of Grace
Such an Example of Condescension as I have before me Mrs Jewkes said I
may make you very easy for I must be highly unworthy if I did not forego all
my little Resentments if I had any for the sake of so much Goodness to myself
You are very kind Madam said she and you may depend upon it I will atone
for all my Faults by my future Duty and Respect to you as well as to my
Master
Thats well said on both sides said he but Mrs Jewkes to assure you
that my good Girl here has no Malice she chuses you to attend her in the
Morning at the Ceremony and you must keep up her Spirits I shall replyd
she be very proud of the Honour But I cannot Madam but wonder to see you so
very lowspirited as you have been these two or three Days past with so much
Happiness before you
Why Mrs Jewkes answerd I there can be but one Reason given and that
is that I am a sad Fool But indeed I am not ingrateful neither nor would
I put on a foolish Affectation But my Heart at times sinks within me I know
not why except at my own Unworthiness and because the Honour done me is too
high for me to support myself under as I should do It is an Honour Mrs
Jewkes added I I was not born to and no wonder then I behave so aukwardly
She made me a fine Compliment upon it and withdrew repeating her Promises of
Care Secrecy etc
He parted with me with infinite Tenderness and I came up and set to
writing to amuse my Thoughts and wrote thus far And Mrs Jewkes being come
up and it being past Twelve I will go tobed but not one Wink I fear shall
I get this Night I could beat myself for Anger Sure there is nothing ominous
in this strange Folly But I suppose all young Maidens are the same so near
so great a Change of Condition tho they carry it off more discreetly than I
Thursday Six oClock in the Morning
I Might as well have not gone tobed last Night for what Sleep I had Mrs
Jewkes often was talking to me and said several things that would have been
well enough from any body else of our Sex but the poor Woman has so little
Purity of Heart that it is all Say from her and goes no further than my Ears
I fancy my Master has not slept much neither for I heard him up and
walking about his Chamber ever since Break of Day To be sure poor Gentleman
he must have some Concern as well as I for here he is going to marry a poor
foolish unworthy Girl brought up on the Charity as one may say at least
Bounty of his worthy Family And this foolish Girl must be to all Intents and
Purposes after Twelve oClock this Day as much his Wife as if he were to
marry a Dutchess And here he must stand the Shocks of common Reflection The
great Squire B has done finely he has marryd his poor Servant Wench will
some say The Ridicule and rude Jests of his Equals and Companions too he must
stand And the Disdain of his Relations and Indignation of Lady Davers his
lofty Sister Dear good Gentleman he will have enough to do to be sure O
how shall I merit all these things at his Hands I can only do the best I can
and pray to God to reward him and to resolve to love him with a pure Heart and
serve him with a sincere Obedience I hope the dear Gentleman will continue to
love me for this for alas I have nothing else to offer But as I can hardly
expect so great a Blessing if I can be secure from his Contempt I shall not be
unfortunate and must bear his Indifference if his rich Friends should inspire
him with it and proceed with doing my Duty with Chearfulness
Half an Hour past Eight oClock
My good dear Master my kind Friend my generous Benefactor my worthy
Protector and Oh all the good Words in one my affectionate Husband that is
so soon to be be curbed in my proud Heart know thyself and be conscious of
thy Unworthiness has just left me with the kindest tenderest Expressions
and gentlest Behaviour that ever blest a happy Maiden He approached me with a
sort of reinedin Rapture My Pamela said he May I just ask after your
Employment Dont let me chide my dear Girl this Day however The two Parsons
will be here to Breakfast with us at Nine and yet you are not a bit dressd
Why this Absence of Mind and sweet Irresolution
Why indeed Sir said I I will set about a Reformation this Instant He
saw the Commonprayer Book lying in the Window I hope said he my lovely
Maiden has been conning the Lesson she is byandby to repeat Have you not
Pamela and clasped his Arms about me and kissed me Indeed Sir said I I
have been reading over the solemn Service And what thinks my Fairest for so
he called me of it O Sir tis very awful and makes one shudder to reflect
upon it No wonder said he it should affect my sweet Pamela I have been
looking into it this Morning and I cant say but I think it a solemn but very
suitable Service But this I tell my dear Love continud he and again clasped
me to him There is not a Tittle in it that I cannot joyfully subscribe to And
that my dear Pamela should make you easy and join chearfully in it with me I
kissed his dear Hand O my generous kind Protector said I how gracious is it
to confirm thus the doubting Mind of your poor Servant which apprehends nothing
so much as her own Unworthiness of the Honour and Blessing that await her He
was pleased to say I know well my dearest Creature that according to the
Liberties we People of Fortune generally give ourselves I have promised a great
deal when I say so But I would not have said it if deliberately I could not
with all my Heart So banish from your Mind all Doubts and Difficulties let a
generous Confidence in me take place and let me see it does by your
Chearfulness in this Days solemn Business and then I will love you for ever
May God Almighty Sir said I reward all your Goodness to me That is all
I can say But Oh how kind it is in you to supply the want of the Presence
and Comfortings of a dear Mother of a loving Sister or of the kind Companions
of my own Sex which most Maidens have to sooth their Anxieties on the so near
Approach of so awful a Solemnity You Sir are All these tender Relations in
One to me Your Condescensions and Kindness shall if possible embolden me to
look up to you without that sweet Terror that must confuse poor bashful
Maidens on such an Occasion when they are surrenderd up to a more doubtful
Happiness and to half strange Men whose good Faith and good Usage of them
must be less experienced and is all involvd in the dark Bosom of Futurity and
only to be proved by the Event
This my dear Pamela said he is most kindly said It shews me that you
enter gratefully into my Intention For I would by my Conduct supply all these
dear Relations to you and I voluntarily promise from my Heart to you what I
think I could not with such assured Resolutions of Performance to the
highestborn Lady in the Kingdom For let me tell my sweet Girl that after
having been long tost by the boisterous Winds of a more culpable Passion I have
now conquerd it and am not so much the Victim of your Love all charming as
you are as of your Virtue and therefore I may more boldly promise for myself
having so stable a Foundation for my Affection which should this outward
Beauty fail will increase with your Virtue and shine forth the brighter as
that is more illustriously displayd by the augmented Opportunities which the
Condition you are now entering into will afford you O the dear charming Man
how nobly and encouragingly kind was all this
I could not suitably express myself and he said I see my Girl is at a Loss
for Words I doubt not your kind Acceptance of my Declarations And when I have
acted too much the Part of a Libertine formerly for you to look back without
some Anxiety I ought not being now happily convicted to say less But why
loses my dear Girl her Time I will now only add that I hope for many happy
Years to make good by my Conduct what so willingly flows from my Lips
He kissed me again and said But whatever you do Pamela be chearful for
else maybe of the small Company we shall have some one not knowing how to
account for your too nice Modesty may think there is some other Person in the
World whose Addresses would be still more agreeable to you
This he said with an Air of Sweetness and Pleasantry but it alarmd me
exceedingly and made me resolve to appear as calm and chearful as possible For
this was indeed a most affecting Expression and enough to make me if any thing
can behave as I ought and to force my idle Fears to give way to Hopes so much
better grounded And I began almost on this Occasion to wish Mr Williams
were not to marry me lest I should behave like a Fool and so be liable to an
Imputation which I should be most unworthy if I deserved
So I set about dressing me instantly and he sent Mrs Jewkes to assist me
But I am never long a Dressing when I set about it and my Master has now given
me a Hint that will for half an Hour more at least keep my Spirits in a
brisk Circulation Yet it concerns me a little too lest he should have any the
least Shadow of a Doubt that I am not Mind and Person intirely his And so
being now ready and not called to Breakfast I sat down and writ thus far I
might have mentiond that I dressd myself in a rich white Sattin Nightgown
that had been my good Ladys and my best Headcloths etc I have got such a
Knack of writing that when I am by myself I cannot sit without a Pen in my
Hand But I am now called to Breakfast I suppose the Gentlemen are come
Now Courage Pamela Remember thou art upon thy good Behaviour Fie upon it
my Heart begins to flutter again Foolish Heart lie still Never sure was
any Maidens perverse Heart under so little Command as mine It gave itself
away at first without my Leave it has been for Weeks pressing me with its
Wishes and yet now when it should be happy itself, and make me so it is
throb throb throb like a little Fool and filling me with such unseasonable
Misgivings as abate the rising Comforts of all my better Prospects
Thursday near Three oClock
I Thought I should have found no Time nor Heart to write again this Day But
here are three Gentlemen come unexpectedly to dine with my Master and so I
shall not appear He has done all he could civilly to send them away but they
will stay tho I believe he had rather they would not And so I have nothing
to do but to write till I go to Dinner myself with Mrs Jewkes For my Master
was not prepared for this Company and it will be a little latish today So I
will begin with my happy Story where I left off
When I came down to Breakfast Mr Peters and Mr Williams were both there
And as soon as my Master heard me coming down he met me at the Door and led me
in with great Tenderness He had kindly spoke to them as he told me afterwards
to mention no more of the Matter to me than needs must I paid my Respects to
them I believe a little aukwardly and was almost out of Breath but said I
had come down a little too fast
When Abraham came in to wait my Master said that the Servants should not
mistrust Tis well Gentlemen you came as you did For my good Girl and I were
going to take an Airing till Dinnertime I hope youll stay and dine with me
Sir said Mr Peters we wont hinder you I only came having a little Time
upon my Hands to see your Chapel but must be at home at Dinner and Mr
Williams will dine with me Well then said my Master we will pursue our
Intention and ride out for an Hour or two as soon as I have shewed Mr Peters
my little Chapel Will you Pamela after Breakfast walk with us to it If
if said I and had like to have stammerd foolish that I was if you please
Sir I could look none of them in the Face Abraham looking at me Why Child
said my Master you have hardly recoverd your Fright yet How came your Foot to
slip Tis well you did not hurt yourself Said Mr Peters improving the Hint
You hant spraind your Ankle Madam I hope No Sir said I I believe not
But tis a little painful to me And so it was for I meant my Foolishness
Abraham said my Master bid Robin put the Horses to the Coach instead of the
Chariot and if these Gentlemen will go we can set them down No matter Sir
said Mr Peters I had as lieve walk if Mr Williams chuses it Well then said
my Master let it be the Chariot as I told him
I could eat nothing tho I attempted it and my Hand shook so I spilled
some of my Chocolate and so put it down again and they were all very good and
looked another way My Master said when Abraham was out I have a quite plain
Ring here Mr Peters And I hope the Ceremony will dignify the Ring and that I
shall give my Girl Reason to think it for that Cause the most valuable one
that can be presented her Mr Peters said he was sure I should set more by it
than the richest Diamond in the World
I had bid Mrs Jewkes not to dress herself lest she should give Cause of
Mistrust and she took my Advice
When Breakfast was over my Master said before Abraham Well Gentlemen we
will step into the Chapel and you must give me your Advice as to the
Alterations I design I am in the more Haste because the Survey you are going
to take of it for the Alterations will take up a little time and we shall
have but a small Space between that and Dinner for the Tour I design to make
Pamela youll give us your Opinion wont you Yes Sir said I Ill come
after you
So they went out and I sat down in the Chair again and fanned myself I am
sick at Heart said I I think Mrs Jewkes Said she Shall I fetch you a
little Cordial No said I I am a sad Fool I want Spirits thats all She
took her Smellingbottle and would have given it me but I said Keep it in
your Hand maybe I may want it but I hope not
She gave me very good Words and beggd me to go And I got up but my Knees
beat so against one another, I was forced to sit down again But at last I
held by her Arm and passing by Abraham I said This ugly Slip coming down
Stairs has made me limp tho so I must hold by you Do you know said I what
Alterations there are to be in the Chapel that we must all give our Opinions of
them
Nan she told me was let into the Secret and she had orderd her to stay
at the Chapel Door to see that nobody came in My dear Master came to me at
entering the Chapel and took my Hand and led me up to the Altar Remember my
dear Girl whisperd he and be chearful I am I will Sir said I but I
hardly knew what I said and so you may believe when I said to Mrs Jewkes
Dont leave me pray Mrs Jewkes dont leave me as if I had all Confidence in
her and none where it was most due So she kept close to me God forgive me
but I never was so absent in my Life as at first Even till Mr Williams had
gone on in the Service so far as to the awful Words about requiring us as we
should answer at the dreadful Day of Judgment and then the solemn Words and my
Masters whispering Mind this my Dear made me start Said he still
whispering Know you any Impediment I blushd and said softly None Sir but
my great Unworthiness
Then followd the sweet Words Wilt thou have this Woman to thy wedded Wife
etc and I began to take Heart a little when my dearest Master answerd
audibly to this Question I will But I could only make a Curchee when they
asked me tho I am sure my Heart was readier than my Speech and answerd to
every Article of obey serve love and honour
Mr Peters gave me away and I said after Mr Williams as well as I could
as my dear Master did with a much better Grace the Words of Betrothment and
the Ceremony of the Ring passing next I received the dear Favour at his worthy
Hands with a most grateful Heart and he was pleased to say afterwards in the
Chariot that when he had done saying With this Ring I thee wed etc I made a
Curchee and said Thank you Sir Maybe I did for I am sure it was a most
grateful Part of the Service and my Heart was overwhelmd with his Goodness
and the tender Grace wherewith he performd it I was very glad that the next
Part was the Prayer and Kneeling for I trembled so I could hardly stand
betwixt Fear and Delight
The joining of our Hands afterwards the Declaration of our being marryd to
the few Witnesses present for reckoning Nan whose Curiosity would not let her
stay at the Door they were but Mr Peters Mrs Jewkes and she the Blessing
the Psalm and the subsequent Prayers and the concluding Exhortation were so
many beautiful welcome and lovely Parts of this divine Office that my Heart
began to be delighted with them and my Spirits to be a little freer
And thus my dearest dear Parents is your happy happy thrice happy
Pamela at last marryd and to who Why to her beloved gracious Master
the Lord of her Wishes And thus the dear once naughty Assailer of her
Innocence by a blessed Turn of Providence is become the kind the generous
Protector and Rewarder of it God be evermore blessed and praised and make me
not wholly unworthy of such a transcendent Honour And bless and reward the
dear dear good Gentleman who has thus exalted his unworthy Servant and given
her a Place which the greatest Ladies would think themselves happy in
My Master saluted me most ardently and said God give you my dear Love as
much Joy on this Occasion as I have And he presented me to Mr Peters who
saluted me and said You may excuse me dear Madam for I gave you away and
you are my Daughter And Mr Williams modestly withdrawing a little way Mr
Williams said my Master pray accept my Thanks and wish your Sister Joy So he
saluted me too and said Most heartily Madam I do And I will say that to
see so much Innocence and Virtue so eminently rewarded is one of the greatest
Pleasures I have ever known This my Master took very kindly
Mrs Jewkes would have kissed my Hand at the Chapel Door but I put my Arms
about her Neck for I had got a new Recruit of Spirits just then and kissed
her and said Thank you Mrs Jewkes for accompanying me I have behavd
sadly No Madam said she pretty well pretty well While the Gentlemen were
talking I dropt down on my Knees in a Corner and once more blessed God for
this so signal a Mercy and Mr Peters afterwards walked out with me and Mr
Williams and my Master talked together and came out after us
Mr Peters when we came into the Parlour said I once more Madam must
wish you Joy of this happy Occasion I wish every Day may add to your Comforts
and may you very long rejoice in one another; for you are the loveliest Couple I
ever saw joind I told him I was infinitely obligd to his kind Opinion and
good Wishes and hoped my future Conduct would not make me unworthy of them
My good Benefactor came in with Mr Williams So my dear Life said he How
do you do A little more composd I hope Well you see this is not so
dreadful an Affair as you apprehended Sir said Mr Peters very kindly tis a
very solemn Circumstance and I love to see it so reverently and awfully enterd
upon It is a most excellent Sign for the most thoughtful Beginnings make the
most prudent Proceedings Mrs Jewkes of her own accord came in with a large
silver Tumbler filled with Sack and a Toast and Nutmeg and Sugar and my
Master said Thats well thought of Mrs Jewkes for we have made but sorry
Breakfastings And he would make me take some of the Toast as they all did and
drank pretty heartily And I drank a little and it cheard my Heart I thought
for an Hour after
My Master took a fine Diamond Ring from his Finger and presented it to Mr
Peters who receivd it very kindly And to Mr Williams he said My old
Acquaintance I have reservd for you against a Variety of Sollicitations the
Living I always designd for you and I beg youll prepare to take Possession of
it and as the doing it may be attended with some Expense pray accept of this
towards it and so he gave him as he told me afterwards it was a Bank Note of
50 l
So did this generous good Gentleman bless us all and me in particular for
whose sake he was as bounteous as if he had marryd one of the noblest Fortunes
So he took his Leave of the Gentlemen recommending Secrecy again for a few
Days and they left him and none of the Servants suspected any thing, as Mrs
Jewkes believes And then I threw myself at his Feet blessing God and blessing
him for his Goodness and he overwhelmd me with Kindness calling me his sweet
Bride and twenty lovely Epithets that swell my grateful Heart beyond the Power
of Utterance
He afterwards led me to the Chariot and we took a delightful Tour round the
neighbouring Villages and he did all he could to dissipate those still
perverse Anxieties that dwell upon my Mind and do what I can spread too
thoughtful an Air as he tells me over my Countenance
We came home again by half an Hour after One and he was pleasing himself
with thinking not to be an Hour out of my Company this blessed Day that as he
was so good as to say he might inspire me with a Familiarity that should
improve my Confidence in him when he was told that a Footman of Sir Charles
Hargrave had been here to let him know that his Master and two other
Gentlemen were on the Road to take a Dinner with him in their Way to
Nottingham
He was heartily vexd at this and said to me He should have been glad of
their Companies at any other Time but that it was a barbarous Intrusion now
and he wishd they had been told he would not be at home at Dinner And besides
said he they are horrid Drinkers and I shant be able to get them away to
Night perhaps for they have nothing to do but travel round the Country and
beat up their Friends Quarters all the Way and tis all one to them whether
they stay a Night or a Month at a Place But added he Ill find some way if
I can to turn them off after Dinner Confound them said he in a violent
Pet that they should come this Day of all the Days in the Year
We had hardly alighted and got in before they came three mad Rakes they
seemd to be as I looked out of the Window setting up a Huntingnote as soon
as they came to the Gate that made the Courtyard echo again and smacking their
Whips in Concert
So I went up to my Chamber and saw what made my Heart throb Mrs Jewkess
officious Pains to put the Room in Order for a Guest that however welcome as
now my Duty teaches me to say is yet dreadful to me to think of So I refuged
myself in my Closet and had recourse to Pen and Ink for my Amusement and to
divert my Anxiety of Mind If ones Heart is so sad and ones Apprehensions
so great where one so extremely loves and is so extremely obliged What must
be the Case of those poor Maidens who are forced for sordid Views by their
tyrannical Parents or Guardians to marry the Man they almost hate and
perhaps to the Loss of the Man they most love O that is a sad thing indeed
And what have not such cruel Parents to answer for and what do not such poor
innocent Victims suffer But blessed be God this Lot is far from being mine
My good Master for I cannot yet have the Presumption to call him by a more
tender Epithet came up to me and said Well I just came to ask my dear Bride
O the charming charming Word how she does I see you are writing my Dear
said he These confounded Rakes are half mad I think and will make me so
However said he I have orderd my Chariot to be got ready as if I was under
an Engagement five Miles off and will set them out of the House if possible
and then ride round and come back as soon as I can get rid of them I find
said he Lady Davers is full of our Affairs She has taken great Freedoms with
me before Sir Charles and they have all been at me without Mercy and I was
forced to be very serious with them or else they would have come up to have
seen you as I would not call you down He kissed me and said I shall
quarrel with them if I cant get them away for I have lost two or three
precious Hours with my Souls Delight and so he went down
Mrs Jewkes askd me to walk down to Dinner in the little Parlour I went
down and she was so complaisant as to offer to wait upon me at Table and would
not be persuaded without Difficulty to sit down with me But I insisted she
should For said I it would be very extraordinary if one should so soon go
into such Distance Mrs Jewkes Whatever the Station of our good Master may
require of me added I I hope I shall always conduct myself in such a manner
that Pride and Insolence shall bear no Part in my Character You are very good
Madam said she but I will always know my Duty to my Masters Lady Why
then replyd I if I must take State upon me so early Mrs Jewkes let me
exact from you what you call your Duty and sit down with me when I desire you
This prevailed upon her and I made shift to eat a bit of Applepie and a
little Custard but I had no Appetite to any thing else
My good Master came in again and said Well thank my Stars these Rakes
are going now but I must set out with them and I chuse my Chariot for if I
took Horse I should have Difficulty to part with them for they are like a
Snowball and intend to gather Company as they go to make a merry Tour of it
for some Days together We both got up when he came in Fie Pamela said he
why this Ceremony now Sit still Mrs Jewkes Nay Sir said she I was
loth to sit down but my Lady would have me She is very right Mrs Jewkes
said my Master and tappd me on the Cheek for we are not yet half marryd and
so she is not above half your Lady yet Dont look so down dont be so
silent my Dearest said he why you hardly spoke twenty Words to me all the
time we were out together Something I will allow for your bashful Sweetness
but not too much Mrs Jewkes have you no pleasant Tales to tell my Pamela
to make her smile till I return Yes Sir said she I could tell twenty
pleasant Stories but my Lady is too nice to hear them and yet I hope I
should not be shocking neither Ah poor Woman thought I thy chastest Stories
will make a modest Person blush if I know thee and I desire to hear none of
them My Master said Tell her one of the shortest you have in my Hearing Why
Sir said she I knew a bashful young Lady as Madam may be marryd to Dear
Mrs Jewkes interrupted I no more of your Story I beseech you I dont like
the Beginning of it Go on Mrs Jewkes said my Master No pray Sir dont
require it said I pray dont Well said he then well have it another time
Mrs Jewkes
And so Abraham coming to tell him the Gentlemen were going and his Chariot
was ready Thank God said he and went to them and sat out with them I took a
Turn in the Garden with Mrs Jewkes after they were gone And having walked
awhile I said I should be glad of her Company down the Elmwalk to meet the
Chariot For Oh I know not how to look up at him when he is with me nor how
to bear his Absence when I have Reason to expect him What a strange
Contradiction there is in this unaccountable Passion
What a different Aspect every thing in and about this House bears now to my
thinking to what it once had The Garden the Pond the Alcove the Elmwalk
But Oh my Prison is become my Palace and no wonder every thing wears another
Face We sat down upon the broad Style leading towards the Road and Mrs
Jewkes was quite another Person to me to what she was the last time I sat
there
At last my best Beloved returnd and alighted there What my Pamela said
he and kissed me brings you this way I hope to meet me Yes Sir said I
Thats kind indeed said he but why that averted Eye that downcast
Countenance as if you was afraid of me You must not think so Sir said I
Revive my Heart then said he with a more chearful Aspect and let that
overanxious Sollicitude which appears in the charmingest Face in the World be
chased from it Have you my dear Girl any Fears that I can dissipate any
Doubts that I can obviate any Hopes that I can encourage any Request that I
can gratify Speak my dear Pamela and if I have Power but speak and to
purchase one Smile it shall be done
I cannot Sir said I have any Fears any Doubts but that I shall never be
able to deserve all your Goodness I have no Hopes but that my future Conduct
may be agreeable to you and my determined Duty well accepted Nor have I any
Request to make but that you will forgive all my Imperfections and among the
rest this foolish Weakness that makes me seem to you after all the generous
Things that have passed to want this further Condescension and these kind
Assurances But indeed Sir I am oppressd by your Bounty my Spirits sink
under the Weight of it and the Oppression is still the greater as I see not
how possibly in my whole future Life by all I can do to merit the least of
your Favours
I know your grateful Heart said he but remember my Dear what the Lawyers
tell us That Marriage is the highest Consideration which the Law knows And
this my sweet Bride has made you mine and me yours and you have the best
Claim in the World to share my Fortune with me But set that Consideration
aside what is the Obligation you have to me Your Mind is pure as that of an
Angel and as much transcends mine Your Wit and your Judgment to make you no
Compliment are more than equal to mine You have all the Graces that Education
can give a Woman improvd by a Genius which makes those Graces natural to you
You have a Sweetness of Temper and a noble Sincerity beyond all Compare and
in the Beauty of your Person you excel all the Ladies I ever saw Where then
my Dearest is the Obligation if not on my side to you But to avoid these
Comparisons let us talk of nothing henceforth but Equality for if you will set
the Riches of your Mind and your unblemished Virtue against my Fortune which
is but an accidental Good as I may call it and all I have to boast of the
Condescension will be yours and I shall not think I can possibly deserve you
till after your sweet Example my future Life shall become nearly as blameless
as yours
O Sir said I what Comfort do you give me that instead of my being in
Danger of being insnared by the high Condition to which your Goodness has
exalted me you make me hope that I shall be confirmd and improvd by you and
that we may have a Prospect of perpetuating each others Happiness till Time
shall be no more But Sir I will not as you once cautiond me be too
serious I will resolve with these sweet Encouragements to be in every thing
what you would have me be And I hope I shall more and more shew you that I
have no Will but yours He kissed me very tenderly and thanked me for this kind
Assurance as he called it And so we enterd the House Mrs Jewkes having left
us as soon as my Master alighted
Eight oClock at Night
Now these sweet Assurances my dear Father and Mother you will say must be
very Consolatory to me and voluntierly on his Side all that could be wishd
for on mine and I was resolved if possible to subdue my idle Fears and
Apprehensions
Ten oClock at Night
As we sat at Supper he was generously kind to me as well in his Actions as
Expressions He took notice in the most delicate manner of my Endeavour to
conquer my Foibles and said I see with Pleasure my dear Girl strives to
comport herself in a manner suitable to my Wishes I see even thro the sweet
tender Struggles of your overnice Modesty how much I owe to your Desire of
obliging me As I have once told you that I am the Conquest more of your Virtue
than your Beauty so not one alarming Word or Look shall my beloved Pamela hear
or see to give her Reason to suspect the Truth of what I aver You may the
rather believe me continued he as you may see the Pain I have to behold any
thing that concerns you even tho your Concern be causeless And yet I will
indulge my dear Girls bashful Weakness so far as to own that so pure a Mind
may suffer from Apprehension on so important a Change as this and I can
therefore be only displeased with such Part of your Conduct as may make your
Sufferings greater than my own when I am resolved thro every Stage of my
future Life in all Events to study to make them less
After Supper of which with all his sweet Persuasions I could hardly
taste he made me drink two Glasses of Champaign and afterwards a Glass of
Sack which he kindly forced upon me by naming your Healths And as the Time of
retiring drew on he took notice but in a very delicate manner how my Colour
went and came and how foolishly I trembled Nobody surely in such delightful
Circumstances ever behavd so silly And he said My dearest Girl I fear you
have had too much of my Company for so many Hours together and would better
recollect yourself if you retird for half an Hour to your Closet
I wished for this but durst not say so much lest he should be angry for
as the Hours grew on I found my Apprehensions increase and my silly Heart was
the unquieter every time I could lift up my Eyes to his dear Face so sweetly
terrible did he appear to my Apprehensions I said You are all Goodness dear
Sir and I boldly kissed his dear Hand and pressed it to my Lips with both
mine And he saluting me very fervently gave me his Hand seeing me hardly able
to stand and led me to my Chamberdoor and then most generously withdrew
I went to my Closet and the first thing I did on my Knees again thanked
God for the Blessing of the Day and besought his Divine Goodness to conduct my
future Life in such a manner as should make me a happy Instrument of his Glory
After this being now left to my own Recollection I grew a little more assured
and lightsome and the Pen and my Paper being before me I amused myself with
writing thus far
Eleven oClock Thursday Night
Mrs Jewkes being come up with a Message desiring to know whether her Master
may attend upon me in my Closet and hinting to me that however she believed
he did not expect to find me there I have sent Word that I beg he would
indulge me one Quarter of an Hour So committing myself to the Mercies of the
Almighty who has led me thro so many strange Scenes of Terror and
Affrightment to this happy yet awful Moment I will wish you my dear Parents
a good Night and tho you will not see this in time yet I know I have your
hourly Prayers and therefore cannot fail of them now So Goodnight
Goodnight God bless you and God bless me Amen Amen if it be his blessed
Will subscribes
Your ever dutiful Daughter
Friday Evening
O How this dear excellent Man indulges me in every thing Every Hour he makes
me happier by his sweet Condescension than the former. He pities my Weakness
of Mind allows for all my little Foibles endeavours to dissipate my Fears his
Words are so pure his Ideas so chaste and his whole Behaviour so sweetly
decent that never surely was so happy a Creature as your Pamela I never
could have hoped such a Husband could have fallen to my Lot And much less that
a Gentleman who had allowd himself in Attempts that now I will endeavour to
forget for ever should have behavd with so very delicate and unexceptionable a
Demeanour No light frothy Jests drop from his Lips no alarming Railleries no
offensive Expressions nor insulting Airs reproach or wound the Ears of your
happy thrice happy Daughter In short he says every thing that may embolden me
to look up with Pleasure upon the generous Author of my Happiness
At Breakfast when I knew not how to see him he emboldend me by talking of
you my dear Parents a Subject he generously knew I could talk of And gave
me Assurances that he would make you both happy He said he would have me send
you a Letter to acquaint you with my Nuptials and as he could make Business
that way Thomas should carry it purposely as tomorrow Nor will I said he
my dear Pamela desire to see your Writings because I told you I would not for
now will I in every thing religiously keep my Word with my dear Spouse O the
dear delightful Word and you may send all your Papers to them from those
they have down to this happy Moment only let me beg they will preserve them
and let me have them when they have read them as also those I have not seen
which however I desire not to see till then but then shall take it for a
Favour if you will grant it
It will be my Pleasure as well as my Duty Sir said I to obey you in
every thing And I will write up to the Conclusion of this Day that they may
see how happy you have made me
I know you will both join with me to bless God for his wonderful Mercies and
Goodness to you as well as to me For he was pleased to ask me particularly
after your Circumstances and said he had taken notice that I had hinted in
some of my first Letters that you owd Money in the World and he gave me Fifty
Guineas and bid me send them to you in my Pacquet to pay your Debts as far as
they would go and that you would quit your present Business and put yourself
and my dear Mother into a creditable Appearance and he would find a better
Place of Abode for you than that you had when he returned to Bedfordshire O
how shall I bear all these exceeding great and generous Favours I send them
wrapt up Five Guineas in a Parcel in double Papers
To me he gave no less than One hundred Guineas more and said I would have
you my Dear give Mrs Jewkes when you go away from hence what you think fit
out of these as from yourself Nay good dear Sir said I let that be what
you please Give her then said he Twenty Guineas as a Compliment on your
Nuptials Give Colbrand Ten Guineas Give the two Coachmen Five Guineas each
to the two Maids at this House Five Guineas each Give Abraham Five Guineas
Give Thomas Five Guineas and give the Gardeners Grooms and Helpers Twenty
Guineas among them And when said he I return with you to the other House I
will make you a suitable Present to buy you such Ornaments as are fit for my
beloved Wife to appear in For now my Pamela continud he you are not to
mind as you once proposed what other Ladies will say but to appear as my Wife
ought to do Else it will look as if what you thought of as a Means to avoid
the Envy of others of your Sex was a wilful Slight in me which I hope I
never shall be guilty of and I will shew the World that I value you as I
ought and as if I had marryd the first Fortune in the Kingdom And why should
it not be so When I know none of the first Quality that matches you in
Excellence
He saw I was at a Loss for Words and said I see my dearest Bride my
Spouse my Wife my Pamela your grateful Confusion And kissing me as I was
going to speak I will stop your dear Mouth said he You shall not so much as
thank me for when I have done ten times more than this I shall but poorly
express my Love for so much Beauty of Mind and Loveliness of Person which
thus said he and clasped me to his generous Bosom I can proudly now call my
own O how can I think of any thing, but returned Love Joy and Gratitude
And thus generously did he banish from my Mind those painful Reflections
and bashful Apprehensions that made me dread to see him for the first time
this Day when I was called to attend him at Breakfast and made me all Ease
Composure and Tranquillity
He then thinking I seemd somewhat thoughtful proposed a little Turn in
the Chariot till Dinnertime and this was another sweet Relief to me and he
diverted me with twenty agreeable Relations of what Observations he had made in
his Travels and gave me the Characters of the Ladies and Gentlemen in his other
Neighbourhood telling me whose Acquaintance he would have me most cultivate
and when I mentiond Lady Davers with Apprehension he said To be sure I love
my Sister dearly notwithstanding her violent Spirit and I know she loves me
and I can allow a little for her Pride because I know what once my own was and
because she knows not my Pamela and her Excellencies as I do But you must
not my Dear forget what belongs to your Character as my Wife nor meanly
stoop to her tho I know you will chuse by Softness to try to move her to a
proper Behaviour But it shall be my Part to see that you do not yield too much
However continued he as I would not publickly declare my Marriage here I
hope she wont come near us till we are in Bedfordshire and then when she
knows we are marryd she will keep away if she is not willing to be
reconcild for she dare not surely come to quarrel with me when she knows it
is done for that would have an hateful and wicked Appearance as if she would
try to make Differences between Man and Wife But we will have no more of this
Subject nor talk of any thing, added he that shall give Concern to my Dearest
And so he changed the Talk to a more pleasing Subject and said the kindest and
most soothing things in the World
When we came home which was about Dinnertime he was the same obliging
sweet Gentleman And in short is studious to shew on every Occasion his
generous Affection to me And after Dinner he told me he had already wrote to
his Draper in Town to provide him new Liveries and to his late Mothers
Mercer to send him down Patterns of the most fashionable Silks for my Choice
I told him I was unable to express my Gratitude for his Favours and Generosity
and as he knew best what befitted his own Rank and Condition I would wholly
remit myself to his good Pleasure but by all his repeated Bounties to me of
so extraordinary a Nature I could not but look forward with Awe upon the
Condition to which he had exalted me and now I feared I should hardly be able
to act up to it in such a manner as should justify the Choice he had
condescended to make But that I hoped I should have not only his generous
Allowance for my Imperfections which I could only assure him should not be
wilful ones but his kind Instructions and that as often as he observd any
Part of my Conduct such as he would have alterd and could not intirely
approve that he would let me know it and I would think his Reproofs of
beginning Faults the kindest and most affectionate things in the World because
they would keep me from committing greater and be a Means to continue to me the
Blessing of his good Opinion
He answerd me in the kindest manner and assured me That nothing should
ever lie upon his Mind which he would not reveal and give me an Opportunity
either of convincing him or being convinced myself
He then asked me When I should be willing to go to the Bedfordshire House
I said Whenever he pleased Said he We will come down hither again before the
Winter if you please in order to cultivate the Acquaintance you have begun
with Lady Jones and Sir Simons Family and if it please God to spare us to
one another, in the Winter I will give you as I promised for two or three
Months my Company in London And I think added he if my Dear pleases we
will set out next Week about Tuesday for tother House I can have no
Objection Sir said I to any thing you propose but how will you avoid Miss
Darnfords Sollicitation for an Evening to dance Why said he we can make
Monday Evening do for that Purpose if they wont excuse us But if you please
said he I will invite Lady Jones Mr Peters and his Family and Sir Simon and
his Family to my little Chapel on Sunday Morning and to stay Dinner with me
and then I will declare my Marriage to them because my dear Life shall not
leave this Country with the least Reason for a Possibility of any bodys
doubting that it is so Oh how good this was But indeed his Conduct is all
of a Piece noble kind and considerate What a happy Creature by Gods
Goodness am I And then maybe said he they will excuse us till we return
into this County again as to the Ball Is there any thing, added he that my
beloved Pamela has still to wish If you have freely speak
Hitherto my dearest Sir replyd I you have not only prevented my Wishes
but my Hopes and even my Thoughts And yet I must own since your kind Command
of speaking my Mind seems to shew that you expect from me I should say
something that I have only one or two things to wish more and then I shall be
too happy Say said he what they are Sir proceeded I I am indeed ashamed
to ask any thing, lest it should not be agreeable to you and lest it should
look as if I was taking Advantage of your kind Condescensions to me and knew
not when to be satisfyd
I will only tell you Pamela said he that you are not to imagine that
these things which I have done in hopes of obliging you are the sudden
Impulses of a new Passion for you But if I can answer for my own Mind they
proceed from a regular and uniform Desire of obliging you which I hope will
last as long as your Merit lasts and that I make no doubt will be as long as
I live and I can the rather answer for this because I really find so much
Delight in myself in my present way of Thinking and Acting as infinitely
overpays me and which for that Reason I am likely to continue for both our
sakes My beloved Wife therefore said he for methinks I am grown fond of a
Name I once despised may venture to speak her Mind and I will promise that
so far as it is agreeable to me and I chearfully can I will comply and you
will not insist upon it if that cannot be the Case
To be sure Sir said I I ought not neither will I And now you embolden
me to become an humble Petitioner and that as I ought upon my Knees for the
reinstating such of your Servants as I have been the unhappy Occasion of their
disobliging you He raised me up and said My beloved Pamela has too often been
in this suppliant Posture to me to permit it any more Rise my Fairest and
let me know whom in particular you would reinstate and he kindly held me in
his Arms and pressed me to his beloved Bosom Mrs Jervis Sir said I in the
first place for she is a good Woman and the Misfortunes she has had in the
World make your Displeasure most heavy to her
Well said he who next Mr Longman Sir said I and I am sure kind as
they have been to me yet would I not ask it if I could not vouch for their
Integrity and if I did not think it was my dear Masters Interest to have such
good Servants
Have you any thing further said he Sir said I your good old Butler
who has so long been in your Family before the Day of your happy Birth I
would if I might become an Advocate for
Well said he I have only to say That had not Mr Longman and Mrs
Jervis and Jonathan too joined in a Body in a bold Appeal to Lady Davers
which has given her the insolent Handle she has taken to intermeddle in my
Affairs I could easily have forgiven all the rest of their Conduct tho they
have given their Tongues no little Licence about me but I could have forgiven
them because I desire every body to love you and it is with Pride that I
observe the Opinion and Love of them and every body else that knows you
justify my own But yet I will forgive even this because my Pamela desires
it and I will send a Letter myself to tell Longman what he owes to your
Interposition if the Estate he has made in my Family does not set him above
the Acceptance of it And as to Mrs Jervis do you my Dear write a Letter to
her and give her your Commands instantly on the Receipt of it to go and take
Possession of her former Charge for now my dearest Girl she will be more
immediately your Servant and I know you love her so well that youll go
thither with the more Pleasure to find her there But dont think added he
that all this Compliance is to be for nothing Ah Sir said I tell me but what
I can do poor as I am in Power but rich in Will and I will not hesitate one
Moment Why then said he of your own Accord reward me for my chearful
Compliance with one sweet Kiss I instantly said Thus then dear Sir will I
obey and Oh you have the sweetest and most generous way in the World to make
that a Condition which gives me double Honour and adds to my Obligations And
so I clasped my Arms about his Neck and was not ashamed to kiss him once and
twice and three times once for every forgiven Person
Now my dearest Pamela said he what other things have you to ask Mr
Williams is already taken Care of and I hope will be happy Have you
nothing to say for John Arnold
Why dear Sir said I you have seen the poor Fellows Penitence in my
Letters Yes my Dear so I have but that is his Penitence for his having
servd me against you and I think when he would have betrayd me afterwards
he deserves nothing to be said or done for him by either
But dear Sir said I this is a Day of Jubilee and the less he deserves
poor Fellow the more will be your Goodness And let me add one Word That as he
was divided in his Inclinations between his Duty to you and good Wishes to me
and knew not how to distinguish between the one and the other when he finds us
so happily united by your great Goodness to me he will have no more Puzzles in
his Duty for he has not failed in any other Part of it but I hope will serve
you faithfully for the future
Well then suppose I put Mrs Jewkes in a good way of Business in some Inn
and give her John for a Husband And then your Gypsey Story will be made out
that she will have a Husband younger than herself
You are all Goodness Sir said I I can freely forgive poor Mrs Jewkes
and wish her happy But permit me Sir to ask Would not this look like a very
heavy Punishment to poor John And as if you could not forgive him when you
are so generous to every body else
He smiled and said O my Pamela this for a forgiving Spirit, is very
severe upon poor Jewkes But I shall never by the Grace of God have any more
such trying Services to put him or the rest upon and if you can forgive him I
think I may and so John shall be at your Disposal And now let me know what my
Pamela has further to wish
O my dearest Sir said I not one single Wish more has your grateful Pamela
My Heart is overwhelmd with your Goodness Forgive these Tears of Joy added I
You have left me nothing to pray for but that God will bless you with Life
and Health and Honour and continue to me the Blessing of your Esteem and I
shall then be the happiest Creature in the World
He clasped me in his Arms and said You cannot my dear Life be so happy
in me as I am in you O how heartily I despise all my former Pursuits and
headstrong Appetites what Joys what true Joys flow from virtuous Love Joys
which the narrow Soul of the Libertine cannot take in nor his Thought conceive
And which I myself whilst a Libertine had not the least Notion of!
But said he I expected my dear Spouse my Pamela had something to ask
for herself But since all her own Good is absorbed in the Delight her generous
Heart takes in promoting that of others it shall be my Delight to prevent her
Wishes and to study to make her Care for herself unnecessary by my
anticipating Kindness
In this manner my dear Parents is your happy Daughter blessed in a
Husband O how my exulting Heart leaps at the dear dear Word And I have
nothing to do but to be humble and to look up with Gratitude to the
allgracious Dispenser of these Blessings
So with a thousand Thanks I afterwards retired to my Closet to write you
thus far And having compleated what I purpose for this Pacquet and put up the
kind obliging Present I have nothing more to say but that I hope soon to see
you both and receive your Blessings on this happy thrice happy Occasion And
so hoping for your Prayers that I may preserve an humble and upright Mind to
my gracious God a dutiful Gratitude to my dear Master and Husband that I may
long rejoice in the Continuance of these Blessings and Favours and that I may
preserve at the same time an obliging Deportment to every one else I conclude
myself
Your ever dutiful and most happy Daughter
PAMELA B
O think it not my Pride my dear Parents that sets me on glorying in my Change
of Name Yours will be always dear to me and what I shall never be ashamed of
I am sure But yet For such a Husband What shall I say since Words are too
faint to express my Gratitude and my Joy
I have taken Copies of my Masters Letter to Mr Longman and mine to Mrs
Jervis which I will send with the further Occurrences when I go to the other
dear House or give you when I see you as I now hope soon to do
Saturday Morning the Third of my happy Nuptials
I Must still write on till I come to be settled in the Duty of the Station to
which I am so generously exalted and to let you participate with me the
transporting Pleasures that arise from my new Condition and the Favours that
are hourly heaped upon me by the best of Husbands When I had got my Pacquet for
you finishd I then set about writing as he had kindly directed me to Mrs
Jervis and had no Difficulty till I came to sign my Name and so I brought it
down with me when I was called to Supper unsigned
My good Master I hardly have yet the Courage to call him freely by a
tenderer Name had been writing to Mr Longman and he said pleasantly See
here my Dearest what I have written to your Somebody I read as follows
»Mr Longman
I Have the Pleasure to acquaint you that last Thursday I was
marryd to my beloved Pamela I have had Reason to be disobliged with
you and Mrs Jervis and Jonathan not for your Kindness to and Regard
for my dear Spouse that now is but for the manner in which you
appealed to my Sister Davers which has made a very wide Breach between
her and me But as it was one of her first Requests that I would
overlook what had past and reinstate you all in your former Charges I
think myself obliged without the least Hesitation to comply with it
So if you please you may enter again upon an Office which you have
always executed with unquestionable Integrity and to the Satisfaction
of
Yours etc
Friday Afternoon
I shall set out next Tuesday or Wednesday God willing for
Bedfordshire and desire to find Jonathan as well as you in your
former Offices in which I dare say youll have the more Pleasure as
you have such an early Instance of the Sentiments of my dear Wife from
whose Goodness you may expect every agreeable thing She writes herself
to Mrs Jervis«
I thanked him most gratefully for his Goodness and afterwards took the above
Copy of it And shewd him my Letter to Mrs Jervis as follows
»My dear Mrs Jervis
I Have joyful Tidings to communicate to you For Yesterday I was
happily marryd to the best of Gentlemen yours and my beloved Master I
have only now to tell you that I am inexpressibly happy That my
generous Benefactor denies me nothing and even anticipates my Wishes
You may be sure I could not forget my dear Mrs Jervis and I made it my
Request and had it granted as soon as asked that you might return to
the kind Charge which you executed with so much Advantage to our
Masters Interest and so much Pleasure to all under your Direction All
the Power that is put into my Hands by the most generous of Gentlemen
shall be exerted to make every thing easy and agreeable to you and as I
shall soon have the Honour of attending my beloved Spouse to
Bedfordshire it will be a very considerable Addition to my Delights
and to my unspeakable Obligations to the best of Men to see my dear
Mrs Jervis and to be received by her with that Pleasure which I
promise myself from her Affection For I am my dear good Friend and
always will be
Yours very affectionately and gratefully
PAMELA «
He read this Letter and said Tis Yours my Dear and must be good But dont
you put your Name to it Sir said I your Goodness has given me a Right to a
very honourable one But as this is the first Occasion of this kind except that
to my dear Father and Mother I think I ought to shew it you unsignd that I
may not seem overforward to take Advantage of the Honour you have done me
However sweetly humble and requisite said he this may appear to my dear
Pamelas Niceness it befits me to tell you that I am every Moment more and
more pleased with the Right you have to my Name And my dear Life added he I
have only to wish I may be half as worthy as you are of the happy Knot so lately
knit He then took a Pen himself and wrote after Pamela his most worthy
Surname and I underwrote thus »O rejoice with me my dear Mrs Jervis that I
am enabled by Gods Graciousness and my dear Masters Goodness thus to write
myself«
These Letters and the Pacquet to you were sent away by Mr Thomas early
this Morning
My dearest Master is just gone to take a Ride out and intends to call upon the
Lady Jones Mr Peters and Sir Simon Darnford to invite them to Chapel and
Dinner tomorrow and says he chuses to do it himself because the Time is so
short they will perhaps deny a Servant
I forgot to mention that Mr Williams was here Yesterday to ask Leave to
go to see his new Living and to provide for taking Possession of it and seemd
so pleased with my Masters Kindness and Fondness for me as well as his
generous Deportment to himself that he left us in such a Disposition as shewd
him quite happy I am very glad of it for it would rejoice me to be an humble
Means of making all Mankind so And Oh what Returns ought I not to make to the
Divine Goodness and how ought I to strive to diffuse the Blessings I
experience to all in my Knowledge For else what is it for such a Worm as I
to be exalted What is my single Happiness if I suffer it Niggardlike to
extend no further than myself But then indeed do God Almightys Creatures
act worthy of the Blessings they receive when they make or endeavour to make
the whole Creation so far as is in the Circle of their Power happy
Great and good God as thou hast enlarged my Opportunities enlarge also my
Will and make me delight in dispensing to others a Portion of that Happiness
which I have myself so plentifully receivd at the Hands of thy gracious
Providence Then shall I not be useless in my Generation Then shall I not
stand a single Mark of Gods Goodness to a poor worthless Creature that in
herself is of so poor Account in the Scale of Beings a mere Cypher on the wrong
Side of a Figure but shall be placed on the right Side and tho nothing worth
in myself shall give Signification by my Place and multiply the Blessings I
owe to Gods Goodness who has distinguishd me by so fair a Lot
This as I conceive is the indispensable Duty of a high Condition and how
great must be the Condemnation of poor Creatures at the great Day of Account
when they shall be asked What Uses they have made of the Opportunity put into
their Hands and are able only to say We have lived but to ourselves We have
circumscribed all the Power thou hast given us into one narrow selfish Circle
We have heaped up Treasures for those who came after us tho we know not
whether they will not make a still worse Use of them than we ourselves did And
how can such poor selfish Pleaders expect any other Sentence than the dreadful
Depart ye Cursed
But sure my dear Father and Mother such Persons can have no Notion of the
exalted Pleasures that flow from doing Good were there to be no Afteraccount
at all
There is something so satisfactory and pleasing to Reflection on the being
able to administer Comfort and Relief to those who stand in need of it as
infinitely rewards the beneficent Mind And how often have I experienced this in
my good Ladys time tho but the secondhand Dispenser of her Benefits to the
Poor and Sickly when she made me her Almoner How have I been affected with
the Blessings which the Miserable have heaped upon her for her Goodness and
upon me for being but the humble Conveyer of her Bounty to them And how
delighted have I been when the moving Reports I have made of a particular
Distress has augmented my good Ladys first Intentions in its Relief
This I recall with Pleasure because it is now by Gods Goodness become
my Part to do those good things she was wont to do And Oh let me watch myself
that my prosperous State do not make me forget to look up with due Thankfulness
to the Providence which has intrusted me with the Power that so I may not incur
a terrible Woe by the Abuse or the Neglect of it
Forgive me these Reflections my dear Parents and let me have your Prayers
that I may not find my present Happiness a Snare to me but that I may consider
that more and more will be expected from me in Proportion to the Power given
me and that I may not so unworthily act as if I believd I ought to set up my
Rest in my mean Self and think nothing further to be done with the
Opportunities put into my Hand by the Divine Favour and the best of Men
Saturday Seven oClock in the Evening
My Master returnd home to Dinner in Compliment to me tho much pressd to
dine with Lady Jones as he was also by Sir Simon to dine with him But Mr
Peters could not conveniently provide a Preacher for his own Church tomorrow
Morning at so short a Notice Mr Williams being gone as I said to his new
Living but believed he could for the Afternoon and so he promised to give his
Company to Dinner and to read Afternoon Service and this made my Master invite
all the rest as well as him to Dinner and not to Church and made them
promise to come and told Mr Peters he would send his Coach for him and his
Family
Miss Darnford told him pleasantly she would not come unless he would
promise to let her be at his Wedding by which I find Mr Peters has kept the
Secret as my Master desired
He was pleased to give me an Airing after Dinner in the Chariot and renewd
his kind Assurances to me and if possible is kinder than ever This is
sweetly comfortable to me because it shews me he does not repent of his
Condescensions to me and it encourages me to look up to him with more
Satisfaction of Mind and less Doubtfulness
I beggd Leave to send a Guinea to a poor Body in the Town that I heard by
Mrs Jewkes lay very ill and was very destitute He said Send two my Dear
if you please Said I Sir I will never do any thing of this kind without
letting you know what I do He most generously answerd I shall then perhaps
have you do less Good than you would otherwise do from a Doubt of me tho I
hope your Discretion and my own Temper which is not avaricious will make
such Doubt causeless
Now my Dear continued he Ill tell you how we will order this Point to
avoid even the Shadow of Uneasiness on one side or Doubt on the other
As to your Father and Mother in the first Place they shall be quite out of
the Question for I have already determined in my Mind about them and it is
thus: They shall go down if they and you think well of it to my little Kentish
Estate which I once mentioned to you in such a manner as made you reject it
with a Nobleness of Mind that gave me Pain then but Pleasure since There is a
pretty little Farm and House untenanted upon that Estate and tolerably
stockd and I will further stock it for them for such industrious Folks wont
know how to live without some Employment and it shall be theirs for both their
Lives without paying any Rent and I will allow them 50 l per Annum besides
that they may keep up the Stock and be kind to any other of your Relations
without being beholden to you or me for small matters and for greater where
needful you shall always have it in your Power to accommodate them for I shall
never question your Prudence And we will so long as God spares our Lives go
down once a Year to see them and they shall come up as often as they please it
cannot be too often to see us for I mean not this my Dear to send them from
us Before I proceed Does my Pamela like this
O Sir said I either I have not Words or else the English Tongue affords
them not to express sufficiently my Gratitude Learn me dear Sir continued I
and pressed his dear Hands to my Lips learn me some other Language if there be
any that abounds with more grateful Terms that I may not thus be choaked with
Meanings for which I can find no adequate Utterance
My Charmer says he your Language is all wonderful as your Sentiments and
you most abound when you seem most to want All that I wish is to find my
Proposals agreeable to you and if my first are not my second shall be if I
can but know what you wish
Did I say too much my dearest Parents when I said he was if possible
kinder and kinder O the blessed Man How my Heart is overwhelmd with his
Goodness
Well said he my Dearest let me desire you to mention this to them and
see if they approve it But if it be your Choice and theirs to have them
nearer to you or even under the Roof with you I will freely consent to it
O no Sir said I and I fear almost sinnd in my grateful Flight I am sure
they would not chuse that they could not perhaps serve God so well if they
were to live with you for so constantly seeing the Hand that blesses them
they would maybe as must be my Care to avoid be tempted to look no further
in their Gratitude than to the dear Dispenser of such inumerable Benefits
Excellent Creature said he my Beloved wants no Language nor Sentiment
neither and her charming Thoughts so sweetly expressd would grace any
Language and this is a Blessing almost peculiar to my Fairest Your so kind
Acceptance my Pamela added he repays the Benefit with Interest and leaves
me under Obligation to your Goodness
But now my Dearest I will tell you what we will do with regard to Points
of your own private Charity for far be it from me to put under that Name the
Subject we have been mentioning Because that and more than that is Duty to
Persons so worthy and so nearly related to my Pamela and as such to myself
O how the sweet Man outdoes me in Thoughts Words Power and every thing
And this said he lies in very small Compass for I will allow you Two
hundred Pounds a Year which Longman shall constantly pay you at Fifty Pounds a
Quarter for your own Use and of which I expect no Account to commence from
the Day you enter into my other House I mean said he that the first Fifty
Pounds shall then be due because you shall have something to begin with And
added the dear generous Man if this be pleasing to you let it since you say
you want Words signify it by such a sweet Kiss as you gave me Yesterday I
hesitated not a Moment to comply with these obliging Terms and threw my Arms
about his dear Neck tho in the Chariot and blessed his Goodness to me But
indeed Sir said I I cannot bear this generous Treatment He was pleased to
say Dont be uneasy my Dear about these Trifles God has blessd me with a
very good Estate and all of it in a prosperous Condition and well tenanted I
lay up Money every Year and have besides large Sums in Government and other
Securities so that you will find what I have hitherto promised is very short
of that Proportion of my Substance, which, as my dearest Wife you have a Right
to
In this sweet manner did we pass the Time till Evening when the Chariot
brought us home and then our Supper succeeded in the same agreeable manner And
thus in a rapturous Circle the Time moves on every Hour bringing with it
something more delightful than the past Sure nobody was ever so blest as I
Sunday the Fourth Day of my Happiness
Not going to Chapel this Morning the Reason of which I told you I bestowed the
Time from the Hour of my Beloveds rising to Breakfast in Prayer and
Thanksgiving in my Closet and now I begin to be quite easy chearful and free
in my Spirits and the rather as I find myself encouraged by the Tranquility
Serenity and pleasing Vivacity in the Temper and Behaviour of my beloved
Spouse who thereby shews he does not repent of his Goodness to me
I attended him to Breakfast and drank my Chocolate with great Pleasure and
eat two Bits of Toast and he seemed quite pleased with me and said Now does
my Dearest begin to look upon me with an Air of Serenity and Satisfaction It
shall be always added he my Delight to give you Occasion for this sweet
becoming Aspect of Confidence and Pleasure in me My Heart dear Sir said I
is quite easy and has lost all its foolish Tumults which combating with my
Gratitude gave an ingrateful Appearance to my Behaviour But now your Goodness
Sir has enabled it to get the better of its uneasy Apprehensions and my Heart
is all of one Piece and devoted to you and grateful Tranquillity And could I
be so happy as to see you and my good Lady Davers reconciled I have nothing in
this World to wish for more but the Continuance of your Favour He said I wish
this Reconciliation my Dearest as well as you and I do assure you more for
your sake than my own And if she would behave tolerably I would make the Terms
easier to her for that Reason
He said I will lay down one Rule for you my Pamela to observe in your
Dress and I will tell you every thing I like or dislike as it occurs to me
and I would have you do the same on your Part that nothing may lie upon either
of our Minds that shall occasion the least Reservedness
I have often observed in marryd Folks that in a little while the Lady
grows careless in her Dress which to me looks as if she would take no Pains
to secure the Affection she had gained and shews a Slight to her Husband that
she had not to her Lover Now you must know this has always given me great
Offence and I should not forgive it even in my Pamela tho she would have
this Excuse for herself that thousands could not make That she looks lovely in
every thing So my Dear I shall expect of you always to be dressd by
Dinnertime except something extraordinary happens and this whether you are
to go abroad or stay at home For this my Love will continue to you that
sweet Ease in your Dress and Behaviour which you are so happy a Mistress of
and whoever I bring home with me to my Table you will be in Readiness to
receive them and will not want to make those foolish Apologies to unexpected
Visitors that carry with them a Reflection on the Conduct of those who make
them and besides will convince me that you think yourself obliged to appear
as graceful to your Husband as you would to Persons less familiar to your
Sight
This dear Sir said I is a most obliging Injunction and I most heartily
thank you for it and will always take care to obey it Why my Dear said he
you may better do this than half your Sex Because they too generally act in
such a manner as if they seemd to think it the Privilege of Birth and Fortune
to turn Day into Night and Night into Day and are seldom stirring till tis
time to sit down to Dinner and so all the good old Family Rules are reversd
for they breakfast when they should dine dine when they should sup and sup
when they should go tobed and by the Help of dear Quadrille sometimes go
tobed when they should rise In any thing but these my Dear continued he I
expect you to be a Lady And my good Mother was one of this oldfashiond Cut
tho in all other respects as worthy a Lady as any in the Kingdom And so you
have not been used to the new Way and may the easier practise the other
Dear Sir said I pray give me more of your sweet Injunctions Why then
continued he I shall in the usual Course and generally if not hinderd by
Company like to go tobed with my Dearest by Eleven and if I dont shant
hinder you I ordinarily now rise by Six in Summer I will allow you to lie
half an Hour after me or so
Then youll have some time at your own Dispose till you give me your
Company to breakfast which may be always so as that we may have done at a
little after Nine
Then will you have several Hours again at your Disposal till Two oClock
when I shall like to sit down at Table
You will then have several useful Hours more to employ yourself in as you
shall best like and I would generally go to Supper by Eight and when we are
resolved to stick to these oldfashiond Rules as near as we can we shall make
our Visitors conform to them too and expect them from us and suit themselves
accordingly For I have always observd that it is in every ones Power to
prescribe Rules to himself It is only standing a few ridiculous Jests at first
and that too from such generally as are not the most worthy to be minded and
after a while they will say It signifies nothing to ask him He will have his
own Way There is no putting him out of his Byass He is a regular Piece of
Clockwork will they joke and all that And why my Dear should we not be so
For Man is as frail a Piece of Machinery as any Clockwork whatever and by
Irregularity is as subject to be disorderd
Then my Dear continued the charming Man when they see they are received
at my Times with an open Countenance and chearful Heart when they see Plenty
and Variety at my Board and meet a kind and hearty Welcome from us both they
will not offer to break in upon my Conditions nor grudge me my regular Hours
And as most of these People have nothing to do except to rise in a Morning
they may as well come to Breakfast with us at half an Hour after Eight in
Summer as at Ten or Eleven To Dinner at Two as at Four Five or Six and to
Supper at Eight as at Ten or Eleven And then our Servants too will know
generally the Times of their Business and the Hours of their Leisure or
Recess and we as well as they shall reap the Benefit of this Regularity And
who knows my Dear but we may revive the good old Fashion in our Neighbourhood
by this means At least it will be doing our own Parts towards it and
answering the good Lesson I learned at School Every one mend one And the worst
that will happen will be that when some of my Brother Rakes such as those we
were broke in upon so unwelcomly last Thursday are got out of the Way if
that can ever be and fall to considering whom they shall go to dine with in
their Rambles they will only say We must not go to him for his Dinnertime is
over and so theyll reserve me for another time when they happen to suit it
better or perhaps they will take a Supper and a Bed with me instead of it
Now my Dearest continued the kind Man you see here are more of my
Injunctions as you call them and tho I will not be so set as to quarrel if
they are not always exactly complyd with yet as I know you wont think them
unreasonable I shall be glad they may as often as they can and you will give
your Orders accordingly to your Mrs Jervis who is a good Woman and will take
Pleasure in obeying you
O dearest dear Sir said I have you no more of your sweet Injunctions to
honour me with They oblige and improve me at the same time What a happy Lot
is mine God Almighty reward your Goodness to me
Why let me see my Dearest said he But I think of no more at present
For it would be needless to say how much I value you for your Sweetness of
Temper and that open Chearfulness of Countenance which adorns you when nothing
has given my Fairest Apprehensions for her Virtue A Sweetness and a
Chearfulness that prepossesses in your Favour at first Sight the Mind of
every one that beholds you I need not I hope say that I would have you
diligently preserve this sweet Appearance Let no thwarting Accident no cross
Fortune for we must not expect to be exempt from such happy as we now are in
each other deprive this sweet Face of this its principal Grace And when any
thing unpleasing happens in a quarter of an Hour at farthest begin to
mistrust yourself and apply to your Glass and if you see a Gloom arising or
arisen banish it instantly smooth your dear Countenance resume your former
Composure and then my Dearest whose Heart must always be seen in her Face
and cannot be a Hypocrite will find this means to smooth her Passions also and
if the Occasion be too strong for so sudden a Conquest she will know how to do
it more effectually by repairing to her Closet and begging that gracious
Assistance which has never yet failed her And so shall I my Dear who as you
once but too justly observd have been too much indulged by my good Mother
have an Example from you as well as a Pleasure in you which will hardly ever be
palled
One thing continued he I have frequently observed at the Houses of other
Gentlemen That when we have unexpectedly visited or broke in upon the Family
Order laid down by their Ladies and especially if any of us have lain under
the Suspicion of having occasionally seduced our marryd Companion into bad
Hours or given indifferent Examples the poor Gentleman has been oddly affected
at our coming tho the good Breeding of the Lady has made her just keep up
Appearances He has looked so conscious has been so afraid as it were to
disoblige has made so many Excuses for some of us before we have been accused
as has always shewn me how unwelcome we have been and how much he is obliged to
compound with his Lady for a tolerable Reception of us and perhaps she too
in Proportion to the honest Mans Concern to court her Smiles has been more
reservd stiff and formal and has behavd with an Indifference and Slight
that has often made me wish myself out of her House for too plainly have I
seen that it was not his
This my Dear you will judge by my Description has afforded me Subject for
Animadversion upon the marryd Life for a Man may not tho in the main he is
willing to flatter himself that he is Master of his House and will assert
himself upon great Occasions when his Prerogative is strongly invaded be
always willing to contend and such Women as those I have described are always
ready to take the Field and are worse Enemies than the old Parthians who annoy
most when they seem to retreat and never fail to return to the Charge again
and carry on the offensive War till they have tired out Resistance and made
the Husband willing like a vanquishd Enemy to compound for small Matters in
order to preserve something At least the poor Man does not care to let his
Friends see his Case and so will not provoke a Fire to break out that he
sees and so do his Friends too the meek Lady has much ado to smother and
which very possibly burns with a most comfortable Ardour after we are gone
You smile my Pamela said he at this whimsical Picture and I am sure I
never shall have Reason to include you in these disagreeable Outlines but yet
I will say that I expect from you whoever comes to my House that you accustom
yourself to one even uniform Complaisance That no Frown take place on your
Brow That however ill or well provided we may be for their Reception you shew
no Flutter or Discomposure That whoever you may have in your Company at the
Time you signify not by the least reserved Look that the Stranger is come
upon you unseasonably or at a Time you wished not But be facetious kind
obliging to all and if to any one more than another to such as have the least
Reason to expect it from you or who are most inferior at the Table for thus
will you my Pamela chear the doubting Mind quiet the uneasy Heart and
diffuse Ease Pleasure and Tranquillity around my Board
And be sure my Dear continued he let no little Accidents ruffle your
Temper I shall never forget once that I was at Lady Arthurs and a Footman
happend to stumble and let fall a fine China Dish and broke it all to pieces
It was grievous to see the Uneasiness it gave the poor Lady And she was so
sincere in it that she sufferd it to spread all over the Company and it was a
pretty large one too and not a Person in it but turnd either her Consoler or
fell into Stories of the like Misfortunes and so we all became for the rest of
the Evening nothing but blundering Footmen and careless Servants or were
turnd into broken Jars Plates Glasses Teacups and suchlike brittle
Substances. And it affected me so much that when I came home I went tobed
and dreamt that Robin with the Handle of his Whip broke the Foreglass of my
Chariot and I was so sollicitous methought to keep the good Lady in
Countenance for her Anger that I broke his Head in Revenge and stabbd one of
my Coachhorses And all the Comfort I had when it was done methought was
that I had not exposed myself before Company and there were no Sufferers but
guilty Robin and one innocent Coachhorse for when my Hand was in I might as
reasonably have killed the other three
I was exceedingly diverted with these facetious Hints and the pleasant
manner in which he gave them and I promisd to improve by the excellent Lessons
containd in them
I then went up and dressed myself as like a Bride as I could in my best
Cloaths and on Enquiry finding my dearest Master was gone to walk in the
Garden I went to find him out He was reading in the little Alcove and I said
Sir am I licensd to intrude upon you without your Commands No my Dear
said he because you cannot intrude I am so wholly yours that whereever I am
you have not only a Right to join me but you do me a very acceptable Favour at
the same time
I have Sir said I obeyd your first kind Injunction as to dressing
myself before Dinner but maybe you are busy Sir He put up the Paper he was
reading and said I can have no Business or Pleasure of equal Value to your
Company my Dear What was you going to say Only Sir to know if you have
any more kind Injunctions to give me I could hear you talk a whole Day
together You are very obliging Pamela said he but you are so perfectly
what I wish that I might have spard those I gave you but I was willing you
should have a Taste of my Freedom with you to put you upon the like with me
For I am confident there can be no Friendship lasting without Freedom and
without communicating to one another even the little Caprices if my Pamela can
have any such which may be most affecting to us
Now my Dear said he be so kind to find some Fault with me and tell me
what you would wish me to do to appear more agreeable to you O Sir said I
and I could have kissed him but for Shame To be sure I shall grow a sad fond
Hussy I have not one single thing to wish for no not one He saluted me
very kindly and said he should be sorry if I had and forbore to speak it Do
you think my dear Sir said I that your Pamela has no Conscience Do you
think that because you so kindly oblige her and delight in obliging her that
she must rack her Invention for Trials of your Goodness and knows not when she
is happy O my dearest Sir added I less than one half of the Favours you
have so generously conferred upon me would have exceeded my utmost Wishes
My dear Angel said he and kissed me again I shall be troublesome to you
with my Kisses if you continue thus sweetly obliging in your Actions and
Expressions O Sir said I I have been thinking as I was dressing myself what
an excellent Example you have given me of the Lessons you teach me For here
Sir you are most charmingly dressd yourself as you have commanded me before
Dinner
Then Sir when you command me at your Table to chear the doubting Mind
and comfort the uneasy Heart and to behave most kindly to those who have least
Reason to expect it and are most inferior how sweetly in every Instance that
could possibly occur have you done this yourself by your poor unworthy
Pamela till you have diffused in your own dear Words Ease Pleasure and
Tranquillity around my glad Heart
Then again Sir when you bid me not be disturbed by little Accidents or by
Strangers coming in upon me unexpectedly how noble an Instance did you give me
of this when on our dear Wedding day the coming of Sir Charles Hargrave and
the other two Gentlemen for which you was quite unprovided and hinderd our
Happiness of dining together on that chosen Day did not so disturb you but
that you entertained the Gentlemen pleasantly and parted with them civilly and
kindly What charming Instances are these I have been recollecting with
Pleasure of your pursuing the Doctrine you deliver
My Dear said he these Observations are very kind in you and much to my
Advantage But if I do not always for I fear these were too much Accidents so
well pursue the Doctrines I lay down my Pamela must not expect that my
Imperfections will be a Plea for her Nonobservance of my Lessons as you call
them for I doubt I shall never be half so perfect as you and so I cannot
permit you to fall back in your Goodness tho I may find myself unable to
advance as I ought in my Duty
I hope Sir said I by Gods Grace I never shall I believe it said he
but I only mention this knowing my own Defects lest my future Lessons should
not be so well warranted by my Practice as in the Instances you have kindly
recollected
He was pleased to take Notice of my Dress and spanning my Waste with his
Hands said What a sweet Shape is here It would make one regret to lose it
and yet my beloved Pamela I shall think nothing but that Loss wanting to
complete my Happiness I put my bold Hand before his Mouth and said Hush
hush O fie Sir The freest thing you have ever yet said since I have been
yours He kissed my Hand and said Such an innocent Wish my Dearest may be
permitted me because it is the End of the Institution But say Would such a
Case be unwelcome to my Pamela I will say Sir said I and hid my blushing
Face on his Bosom that your Wishes in every thing shall be mine but pray
Sir say no more He kindly saluted me and thanked me and changed the
Subject I was not too free I hope
Thus we talked till we heard the Coaches and then he said Stay here in
the Garden my Dear and Ill bring the Company to you And when he was gone I
passing by the Backdoor kneeled down against it and blessed God for not
permitting my then so much desired Escape I went to the Pond and kneeled down
on the mossy Bank and again blessed God there for his Mercy in my Escape from
myself my then worst Enemy tho I thought I had none but Enemies and no
Friend near me And so I ought to do in almost every Step of this Garden and
every Room in this House And I was bending my Steps to the dear little Chapel
to make my Acknowledgment there but I saw the Company coming towards me
Miss Darnford said So Miss how do you do now O you look so easy so
sweetly so pleased that I know youll let me dance at your Wedding for I
shall long to be there Lady Jones was pleased to say I lookd like an Angel
And Mrs Peters said I improved upon them every time they saw me Lady Darnford
was also pleased to make me a fine Compliment and said I looked freer and
easier every time she saw me Dearheart I wish thinks I you would spare
these Compliments for I shall have some Joke I doubt passed upon me
byandby that will make me suffer for all these fine things
Mr Peters said softly God bless you dear Daughter But not so much as
my Wife knows it Sir Simon came in last and took me by the Hand and said
Squire B by your Leave And kissed my Hand five or six times as if he was
mad and held it with both his and made a very free Jest by way of Compliment
in his Way Well I think a young Rake is hardly tolerable but an old Rake and
an old Beau are two very sad Things And all this before Daughters
Womengrown I whisperd my Dearest a little after and said I fear I shall
suffer much from Sir Simons rude Jokes byandby when you reveal the Matter
Tis his way my Dear said he you must now grow above these things Miss
Nanny Darnford said to me with a sort of halfgrave ironical Air Well
Miss if I may judge by your easy Deportment now to what it was when I last saw
you I hope you will let my Sister if you wont me see the happy Knot tyd
For she is quite wild about it I curcheed and only said You are all very
good to me Ladies Mr Peterss Niece said Well Miss I hope before we
part we shall be told the happy Day My good Master heard her and said You
shall you shall Madam Thats pure said Miss Darnford
He took me aside and said softly Shall I lead them to the Alcove and
tell them there or stay till we go in to Dinner Neither Sir I think said
I I fear I shant stand it Nay said he they must know it I would not have
invited them else Why then Sir said I let it alone till they are going
away Then replyd he you must pull off your Ring No no Sir said I that
I must not Well said he do you tell Miss Darnford of it yourself Indeed
Sir answerd I I cannot
Mrs Jewkes came officiously to ask my Master just then if she should
bring a Glass of Rhenish and Sugar before Dinner for the Gentlemen and Ladies
and he said Thats well thought of bring it Mrs Jewkes
And she came with Nan attending her with two Bottles and Glasses and a
Salver and must needs making a low Curchee offer first to me saying Will
your Ladyship begin I colourd like Scarlet and said No my Master to be
sure
But they all took the Hint and Miss Darnford said Ill be hangd if they
have not stole a Wedding Said Mrs Peters It must be certainly so Ah Mr
Peters
Ill assure you said he I have not marryd them Where were you said she
and Mr Williams last Thursday Morning Said Sir Simon Let me alone let me
alone if any thing has been stolen Ill find it out Im a Justice of the
Peace you know And so he took me by the Hand and said Come Madam answer
me by the Oath you have taken Are you marryd or not
My Master smiled to see me look so like a Fool and I said Pray Sir Simon
Ay ay said he I thought you did not look so smirking upon us for nothing
Well then Pamela said my Master since your Blushes discover you dont be
ashamed but confess the Truth
Now said Miss Darnford I am quite angry And said Lady Darnford I am
quite pleasd let me give you Joy dear Madam if it be so And so they all
said and saluted me round I was vexed it was before Mrs Jewkes for she
shook her fat Sides and seemd highly pleasd to be a Means of discovering it
Nobody said my Master wishes me Joy No said Lady Jones very obligingly
nobody need for with such a peerless Spouse you want no good Wishes And he
saluted them and when he came last to me said before them all Now my sweet
Bride my Pamela let me conclude with you for here I began to love and here I
desire to end loving but not till my Life ends
This was sweetly said and taken great Notice of and it was doing Credit to
his own generous Choice and vastly more than I merited
But I was forced to stand a many more Jokes afterwards For Sir Simon said
several times Come come Madam now you are become one of us I shall be a
little less scrupulous than I have been Ill assure you
When we came in to Dinner I made no Difficulty of what all offerd me the
Upperend of the Table and performd the Honours of it with pretty tolerable
Presence of Mind considering And with much ado my good Benefactor promising
to be down again before Winter we got off the Ball but appointed Tuesday
Evening at Lady Darnfords to take Leave of all this good Company who
promised to be there my Master designing to set out on Wednesday Morning for
Bedfordshire
We had Prayers in the little Chapel in the Afternoon but they all wished
for the good Clerk again with great Encomiums upon you my dear Father and the
Company staid Supper also and departed exceeding well satisfied and with
abundance of Wishes for the Continuance of our mutual Happiness and my Master
desired Mr Peters to answer for him to the Ringers at the Town if they should
hear of it till our Return into this Country and that then he would be
bountiful to them because he would not publickly declare it till he had first
done so in Bedfordshire
Monday the fifth Day
I Have had very little of my dear Friends Company this Day for he only staid
Breakfast with me and rid out to see a sick Gentleman about eighteen Miles off
who beggd by a Man and Horse on purpose to speak with him believing he
should not recover and upon Part of whose Estate my Master has a Mortgage He
said My Dearest I shall be very uneasy if I am obligd to tarry all Night
from you but lest you should be alarmd if I dont come home by Ten dont
expect me For poor Mr Carlton and I have pretty large Concerns together and
if he should be very ill and would be comforted by my Presence as I know he
loves me and his Family will be more in my Power if he dies than I wish for
Charity will not let me refuse
It is now Ten oClock at Night and I fear he will not return I fear for the
sake of his poor sick Friend who I doubt is worse Tho I know not the
Gentleman I am sorry for his own sake for his Familys sake and for my dear
Masters sake who by his kind Expressions I find loves him And methinks I
should be sorry any Grief should touch his generous Heart tho yet there is no
living in this World without too many Occasions for Concern even in the most
prosperous State And it is fit it should be so or else poor Wretches as we
are we should look no further but be like sensual Travellers on a Journey
homeward who meeting with good Entertainment at some Inn on the Way put up
their Rest there and never think of pursuing their Journey to their proper
Home This I remember was often a Reflection of my good Ladys to whom I
owe it
Eleven oClock
Mrs Jewkes has been with me and askd if I will have her for a Bedfellow in
want of a better I said I thankd her but I would see how it was to lie by
myself one Night
I might have mentiond that I made Mrs Jewkes dine and sup with me and
she was much pleasd with it and my Behaviour to her And I could see by her
Manner that she was a little struck inwardly at some of her former Conduct to
me But poor Wretch it is I must fear because I am what I am for she has
otherwise very little Remorse I doubt Her Talk and Actions are intirely
different from what they usd to be quite circumspect and decent and I should
have thought her virtuous and even pious had I never known her in another
Light
By this we may see my dear Father and Mother of what Force Example is
and what is in the Power of the Heads of Families to do And this shews that
evil Examples in Superiors are doubly pernicious and doubly culpable because
such Persons are bad themselves and not only do no Good but much Harm to
others and the Condemnation of such must to be sure be so much the greater
And how much the greater still must my Condemnation be who have had such a
religious Education under you and been so well nurturd by my good Lady if I
should forget with all these Mercies heapd upon me what belongs to the
Station God has preferrd me to Oh how I long to be doing some Good For all
that is past yet is my dear dear Masters God bless him and return him safe
to my Wishes for methinks already tis a Week since I saw him If my Love would
not be troublesome and impertinent I should be nothing else for I have a true
grateful Spirit and I had Need to have such a one for I am poor in every thing
but Will
Tuesday Morning Eleven oClock
My dear dear Master Im sure I should still say but I will learn to rise to
a softer Epithet nowandthen is not yet come I hope he is safe and well
So Mrs Jewkes and I went to Breakfast But I can do nothing but talk and think
of him and all his Kindness to me and to you which is still me more
intimately I have just receivd a Letter from him which he wrote Overnight
as I find by it and sent early the next Morning This is a Copy of it
»To Mrs Andrews
Monday Night
My dearest Pamela
I Hope my not coming home this Night will not frighten you You may
believe I cant help it My poor Friend is so very ill that I doubt he
cant recover His Desires to have me stay with him are so strong that
I shall sit up all Night with him as it is now near One oClock in the
Morning for he cant bear me out of his Sight And I have made him and
his distressd Wife and Children so easy in the kindest Assurances I
could give him of my Consideration for him and them that I am lookd
upon as the poor disconsolate Widow as she I doubt will soon be
tells me as their good Angel I could have wishd we had not engagd to
the good Neighbourhood at Sir Simons for tomorrow Night but I am so
desirous to set out on Wednesday for the other House that as well as
in Return for the Civilities of so many good Friends who will be there
on Purpose I would not put it off What I beg of you therefore my
Dear is that you would go in the Chariot to Sir Simons the sooner in
the Day the better because you will be diverted with the Company who
all so much admire you and I hope to join you there by your Teatime in
the Afternoon which will be better than going home and returning with
you as it will be six Miles Difference to me and I know the good
Company will excuse my Dress on the Occasion I count every Hour of
this little Absence for a Day for I am with the utmost Sincerity
My dearest Love
For ever Yours etc
If you could go to dine with them it will be a Freedom that would be
very pleasing to them and the more as they dont expect it«
I began to have a little Concern lest his Fatigue should be too great and for
the poor sick Gentleman and Family but told Mrs Jewkes that the least
Intimation of his Choice should be a Command to me and so I would go to Dinner
there and orderd the Chariot to be got ready to carry me when a Messenger
came up just as I was dressd to tell her she must come down immediately I
see at the Window that Visitors are come for there is a Chariot and six
Horses the Company gone out of it and three Footmen on Horseback and I think
the Chariot has Coronets Who can it be I wonder But here I will stop for I
suppose I shall soon know
Goodsirs how unlucky this is What shall I do Here is Lady Davers come her
ownself And my kind Protector a great great many Miles off Mrs Jewkes out
of Breath comes and tells me this and says she is inquiring for my Master and
me She askd her it seems naughty Lady as she is if I was whord yet
Theres a Word for a Ladys Mouth Mrs Jewkes says she knew not what to
answer And my Lady said She is not marryd I hope And said she I said No
because you have not ownd it yet publickly My Lady said That was well enough
Said I I will run away Mrs Jewkes and let the Chariot go to the Bottom of
the Elmwalk and I will steal out of the Door unperceivd But said she she
is inquiring for you Madam and I said you was within but going out and she
said she would see you presently as soon as she could have Patience What did
she call me said I The Creature Madam I will see the Creature said she as
soon as I can have Patience Ay but said I the Creature wont let her if she
can help it
Pray Mrs Jewkes favour my Escape for this once for I am sadly frighted
Said she Ill bid the Chariot go down as you order and wait till you come and
Ill step down and shut the Halldoor that you may pass down unobservd for
she sits cooling herself in the Parlour overagainst the Staircase Thats a
good Mrs Jewkes said I But who has she with her Her Woman said she and her
Nephew but he is on Horseback and is gone into the Stables and they have
three Footmen And I wish said I they were all three hundred Miles off
What shall I do So I wrote thus far and wait impatiently to hear the Coast
is clear
Mrs Jewkes tells me I must come down or she will come up What does she call
me now said I Wench Madam Bid the Wench come down to me And her Nephew and
her Woman are with her
Said I I cant go and thats enough You might contrive it that I might
get out if you would Indeed Madam said she I cannot for I went to shut
the Door and she bid me let it stand open and there she sits overagainst the
Staircase Then said I Ill get out of the Window I think and fannd
myself for I am sadly frighted Laud Madam said she I wonder you so much
disturb yourself Youre on the right Side the Hedge Im sure and I would
not be so discomposd for any body Ay said I but who can help Constitution I
dare say you would no more be so discomposd than I can help it Said she
Indeed Madam if it was to me I would put on an Air as Mistress of the House
as you are and go and salute her Ladyship and bid her welcome Ay ay replyd
I fine Talking But how unlucky this is your good Master is not at home
What Answer shall I give her said she to her desiring to see you Tell
her said I I am sick abed Im dying and must not be disturbd Im gone
out or any thing!
But her Woman came up to me just as I had utterd this and said How do
you do Mrs Pamela My Lady desires to speak with you So I must go Sure she
wont beat me Oh that my dear Protector was at home
Well now I will tell you all that happend in this frightful Interview And
very bad it was
I went down dressd as I was and my Gloves on and my Fan in my Hand to be
just ready to get into the Chariot when I could get away and I thought all my
trembling Fits had been over now but I was mistaken for I trembled sadly Yet
resolvd to put on as good an Air as I could
So I went to the Parlour and said making a very low Curchee Your Servant
my good Lady And your Servant again said she my Lady for I think you are
dressd out like one
A charming Girl tho said her rakish Nephew and swore a great Oath dear
Aunt forgive me but I must kiss her and was coming to me And I said
Forbear uncivil Gentleman I wont be usd freely Jackey said my Lady sit
down and dont touch the Creature Shes proud enough already Theres a
great Difference in her Air Ill assure you since I saw her last
Well Child said she sneeringly how dost find thyself Thourt mightily
come on of late I hear strange Reports about thee Thourt almost got into
Fools Paradise I doubt And wilt find thyself terribly mistaken in a little
while if thou thinkest my Brother will disgrace his Family to humour thy Baby
I see said I sadly vexd her Woman and Nephew smiling by your Ladyship
has no very important Commands for me and I beg Leave to withdraw Beck said
she to her Woman shut the Door my young Lady and I must not have done so
soon
Wheres your wellmannerd Deceiver gone Child says she Said I When
your Ladyship is pleasd to speak intelligibly I shall know how to answer
Well but my dear Child said she in Drollery dont be too pert neither I
beseech thee Thou wilt not find thy Masters Sister half so ready to take thy
Freedoms as thy mannerly Master is So a little of that Modesty and Humility
that my Mothers Waitingmaid used to shew will become thee better than the
Airs thou givest thyself since my Mothers Son has taught thee to forget
thyself
I would beg said I one Favour of your Ladyship that if you would have me
keep my Distance you will not forget your own Degree Why suppose Miss
Pert I should forget my Degree wouldst thou not keep thy Distance then
If you Madam said I lessen the Distance yourself you will descend to my
Level and make an Equality which I dont presume to think of for I cant
descend lower than I am at least in your Ladyships Esteem
Did I not tell you Jackey said she that I should have a Wit to talk to
He who swears like a Gentleman at every Word rapt out an Oath and said
drolling I think Mrs Pamela if I may be so bold as to say so you should
know you are speaking to Lady Davers Sir said I I hope there was no Need
for your Information and so I cant thank you for it especially as you seem to
think it wants an Oath to convince me of it
He lookd more foolish than I at this if possible not expecting such a
Reprimand And said at last Why Mrs Pamela you put me half out of
Countenance with your witty Reproof Sir said I you seem quite a fine
Gentleman and it will not be easily done I dare say
How now Pertones said my Lady do you know who you talk to I think I
do not Madam replyd I And for fear I should forget myself more Ill
withdraw Your Ladyships Servant said I and was going But she rose and gave
me a Push and pulld a Chair and setting the Back against the Door sat down
in it
Well said I I can bear any thing at your Ladyships Hands but I was ready
to cry tho And I went and sat down and fannd myself at the other End of the
Room
Her Woman who stood all the Time said softly Mrs Pamela you should not
sit in my Ladys Presence And my Lady tho she did not hear her said You
shall sit down Child in the Room where I am when I give you Leave
So I stood up and said When your Ladyship will hardly permit me to stand
one might be indulgd to sit down But I askd you said she Whither your
Master is gone To one Mr Carlton Madam said I about eighteen Miles off who
is very sick And when does he come home This Evening Madam said I And
where are you going To a Gentlemans House in the Town Madam And how was you
to go In the Chariot Madam Why you must be a Lady in time to be sure
I believe youd become a Chariot mighty well Child Was you ever out in it
with your Master
Pray your Ladyship said I be pleased to ask half a dozen such Questions
together because one Answer may do for all Why Boldface said she youll
forget your Distance and bring me to your Level before my Time
So I could no longer refrain Tears but said Pray your Ladyship let me ask
what I have done to be thus severely treated I never did your Ladyship any
Harm And if you think I am deceived as you was pleasd to hint I should be
more intitled to your Pity than your Anger
She arose and took me by the Hand and led me to her Chair and then sat
down and still holding my Hand said Why Pamela I did indeed pity you while
I thought you innocent and when my Brother seizd you and brought you down
hither without your Consent I was concernd for you And I was still more
concernd for you and lovd you when I heard of your Virtue and Resistance
and your virtuous Efforts to get away from him But when as I fear you have
sufferd yourself to be prevaild upon and have lost your Innocence and added
another to the Number of the Fools he has ruind This shockd me a little I
cannot help shewing my Displeasure to you
Madam replyd I I must beg no hasty Judgment I have not lost my
Innocence Take care take care Pamela said she Dont lose your Veracity
as well as your Honour Why are you here when you are at full Liberty to go
whither you please I will make one Proposal to you and if you are innocent
I am sure youll accept it Will you go and live with me I will instantly set
out with you in my Chariot and not stay half an Hour longer in this House if
youll go with me Now if youre innocent and willing to keep so deny me
if you can
I am innocent Madam replyd I and willing to keep so and yet I cannot
consent to this Then said she very mannerly Thou lyest Child thats all
and I give thee up
And so she arose and walkd about the Room in great Wrath Her Nephew and
her Woman said Your Ladyships very good tis a plain Case a very plain Case
I would have removd the Chair to have gone out but her Nephew came and
sat in it This provokd me for I thought I should be unworthy of the Honour I
was raisd to tho I was afraid to own it if I did not shew some Spirit and I
said What Sir is your Pretence in this House to keep me a Prisoner here
Because said he I like it Do you so Sir replyd I If thats the Answer
of a Gentleman to such a one as I it would not I dare say be the Answer of a
Gentleman to a Gentleman My Lady my Lady said he a Challenge a Challenge
by Gad No Sir said I I am of a Sex that gives no Challenges and you think
so too or you would not give this Occasion for the Word
Said my Lady Dont be surprizd Nephew the Wench could not talk thus if
she had not been her Masters Bedfellow Pamela Pamela said she and tappd
me upon the Shoulder two or three times in Anger thou hast lost thy
Innocence Girl and thou hast got some of thy bold Masters Assurance and art
fit to go anywhither Then and please your Ladyship said I I am unworthy
of your Presence and desire I may quit it
No replyd she I will know first what Reason you can give for not
accepting my Proposal if you are innocent I can give said I a very good one
but I beg to be excusd I will hear it said she Why then answerd I I
should perhaps have less Reason to like this Gentleman than where I am
Well then said she Ill put you to another Trial Ill set out this Moment
with you to your Father and Mother and give you up safe to them What do you
say to that Ay Mrs Pamela said her Nephew now what does your Innocence
say to that Fore Gad Madam you have puzzled her now
Be pleasd Madam said I to call off this fine Gentleman Your Kindness in
these Proposals makes me hope you will not have me baited Ill be d said he
if she does not make me a Bulldog Why shell toss us all byandby Sir said
I you indeed behave as if you were in a Beargarden
Jackey be quiet said my Lady You only give her a Pretence to evade my
Questions Come answer me Pamela I will Madam said I and it is thus: I
have no Occasion to be beholden to your Ladyship for this Honour for I am to
set out tomorrow Morning on the Way to my Parents Now again thou lyest
Wench I am not of Quality said I to answer to such Language Once again
said she provoke me not by these Reflections and this Pertness if thou dost
I shall do something by thee unworthy of myself That thinks I you have done
already but I venturd not to say so But who is to carry you said she to
your Father and Mother Who my Master pleases Madam said I Ay said she I
doubt not thou wilt do every thing he pleases if thou hast not already Why
now tell me Pamela from thy Heart hast thou not been in Bed with thy Master
Ha Wench I was quite shockd at this and said I wonder how your Ladyship
can use me thus I am sure you can expect no Answer and my Sex and my tender
Years might exempt me from such Treatment with a Person of your Ladyships
Birth and Quality and who be the Distance ever so great is of the same Sex
with me
Thou art a confident Wench said she I see Pray Madam said I let me
beg you to permit me to go I am waited for in the Town to Dinner No replyd
she I cant spare you and whoever you are to go to will excuse you when they
are told tis I that commands you not to go and you may excuse it too young
Lady Woudbe if you consider that tis the unexpected Coming of your late
Ladys Daughter and your Masters Sister that commands your Stay
But a Preengagement your Ladyship will consider is something Ay so it
is but I know not what Reason Waitingmaids have to assume these Airs of
Preengagements Oh Pamela Pamela I am sorry for thy thus aping thy Betters
and giving thyself such Airs I see thourt quite spoild Of a modest innocent
Girl that thou wast and humble too thou now art fit for nothing in the World
but what I fear thou art
Why please your Ladyship said her Kinsman what signifies all you say The
Matters over with her no doubt and she likes it and she is in a Fairydream
and tis pity to awaken her before her Dreams out Bad as you take me to be
Madam said I I am not used to such Language or Reflections as this Gentleman
gives me and I wont bear it
Well Jackey said she be silent and shaking her Head Poor Girl said
she What a sweet Innocence is here destroyd A thousand Pities I could
cry over her if that would do her good But she is quite lost quite undone
and then has assumd a Carriage upon it that all those Creatures are
distinguishd by
I cryd sadly for Vexation and said Say what you please Madam If I can
help it I will not answer another Word
Mrs Jewkes came in and askd If her Ladyship was ready for Dinner She
said Yes I would have gone out with her but my Lady said taking my Hand she
could not spare me And Miss said she you may pull off your Gloves and lay
your Fan by for you shant go and if you behave well you shall wait upon me
at Dinner and then I shall have a little further Talk with you
Mrs Jewkes said to me Madam may I speak one Word with you I cant
tell Mrs Jewkes said I for my Lady holds my Hand and you see I am a kind of
Prisoner
What you have to say Mrs Jewkes said she you may speak before me But
she went out and seemd vexd for me and she says I lookd like the very
Scarlet
The Cloth was laid in another Parlour and for three Persons and she led me
in Come my little Dear said she with a Sneer Ill hand you in and I woud
have you think it as well as if it was my Brother
What a sad Case thought I should I be in if I were as naughty as she
thinks me It was bad enough as it was
Jackey said my Lady come let us go to Dinner She said to her Woman Do
you Beck help Pamela to tend us we will have no Menfellows Come my young
Lady shall I help you off with your white Gloves I have not Madam said I
deservd this at your Ladyships Hands
Mrs Jewkes coming in with the first Dish she said Do you expect any body
else Mrs Jewkes that you lay the Cloth for three Said she I hopd your
Ladyship and Madam would have been so well reconcild that she would have sat
down too What means the clownish Woman said my Lady in great Disdain Could
you think the Creature should sit down with me She does Madam and please
your Ladyship with my Master I doubt it not good Woman said she and lyes
with him too does she not Answer me Fatface How these Ladies are
privilegd
If she does Madam said she there may be a Reason for it perhaps And
went out So said she has the Wench got thee over too Come my little
Dear pull off thy Gloves I say and off she pulld my Left Glove herself and
spyd my Ring O my dear God said she if the Wench has not got a Ring
Well this is a pretty Piece of Foolery indeed Dost know my Friend that thou
art miserably trickd And so poor Innocent thou hast made a fine Exchange
hast thou not Thy Honesty for this Bauble And Ill warrant my little Dear has
toppd her Part and paraded it like any real Wife and so mimicks still the
Condition Why said she and turnd me round thou art as mincing as any
Bride No wonder thou art thus trickd out and talkest of thy Preengagements
Prythee Child walk before me to that Glass survey thyself and come back to
me that I may see how finely thou canst act the Theatrical Part given thee
I was then resolvd to try to be silent although most sadly vexd So I
went and sat me down in the Window and she took her Place at the upper End of
the Table and her sawcy Jackey fleering at me most provokingly sat down by
her Said he Shall not the Bride sit down by us Madam Ay well thought of
said my Lady Pray Mrs Bride your Pardon for sitting down in your Place I
said nothing
Said she with a poor Pun Thou hast some Modesty however Child For thou
canst not stand it so must sit down tho in my Presence I still kept my
Seat and said nothing Thinks I this is a sad Thing and I am hinderd too
from shewing my Duty where it is most due and shall have Anger there too
maybe if my dear Master should be there before me So she eat some Soup as
did her Kinsman and then as she was cutting up a Fowl said If thou longst
my little Dear I will help thee to a Pinion or Breast or any thing. But
maybe Child said he thou likest the Rump shall I bring it thee And then
laughd like an Idiot for all he is a Lords Son and may be a Lord himself
For he is the Son of the Lord and his Mother who was Lord Daverss Sister
being dead he has receivd what Education he has from Lord Daverss Direction
Poor Wretch for all his Greatness hell neer die for a Plot at least of
his own hatching If I could then have gone up I would have given you his
Picture But for one of 25 or 26 Years of Age much about the Age of my dear
Master he is a most odd Mortal
Pamela said my Lady help me to a Glass of Wine No Beck said she you
shant for she was offering to do it I will have my Lady Bride confer that
Honour upon me and then I shall see if she can stand up I was silent and
never stirrd
Dost hear Chastity said she Help me to a Glass of Wine when I bid thee
What not stir Then Ill come and help thee to one Still I stirrd not and
fanning myself continud silent Said she When I have askd thee Meekones
half a dozen Questions together I suppose thou wilt answer them all at once
Pretty Creature is not that it
I was so vexd I bit a Piece of my Fan out not knowing what I did but
still I said nothing and did nothing but flutter it and fan myself
I believe said she my next Question will make up half a dozen and then
Modestones I shall be intitled to an Answer
He arose and brought the Bottle and Glass Come said he Mrs Bride be
pleasd to help my Lady and I will be your Deputy Sir replyd I it is in a
good Hand help my Lady yourself Why Creature said she dost thou think
thyself above it And then flew into a Passion Insolence continued she this
Moment when I bid you know your Duty and give me a Glass of Wine or
So I took a little Spirit then thinks I I can but be beat If said I
to attend your Ladyship at Table or even kneel at your Feet was requird of
me I would most gladly do it were I only the Person you think me but if it
be to triumph over one who has received Honours that she thinks requires her to
act another Part not to be utterly unworthy of them I must say I cannot do
it
She seemd quite surprizd and lookd now upon her Kinsman and then upon
her Woman Im astonishd Im quite astonishd Well then I suppose you
would have me conclude you my Brothers Wife woud you not
Your Ladyship said I compels this from me Well returnd she but dost
thou thyself think thou art so Silence said her Kinsman gives Consent Tis
plain enough she does Shall I rise Madam and pay my Duty to my new Aunt
Tell me said my Lady what in the Name of Impudence possesses thee to
dare to look upon thyself as my Sister Madam replyd I that is a Question
will better become your most worthy Brother to answer than me
She was rising in great Wrath but her Woman said Good your Ladyship
youll do yourself more Harm than her and if the poor Girl has been deluded
so as you have heard with the Shammarriage shell be more deserving of your
Ladyships Pity than Anger True Beck very true said my Lady but theres no
bearing the Impudence of the Creature meantime
I would have gone out at the Door but her Kinsman run and set his Back
against it I expected bad Treatment from her Pride and violent Temper but this
was worse than I could have thought of And I said to him Sir when my Master
comes to know your rude Behaviour you will maybe have Cause to repent it
And went and sat down in the Window again
Another Challenge by Gad said he but I am glad she says her Master You
see Madam she herself does not believe she is marryd and so has not been so
much deluded as you think for And coming to me with a most barbarous Air of
Insult he said kneeling on one Knee before me My new Aunt your Blessing or
your Curse I care not which but quickly give me one or other that I may not
lose my Dinner
I gave him a most contemptuous Look Tinseld Toy said I for he was lacd
all over Twenty or Thirty Years hence when you are at Age I shall know how to
answer you better meantime sport with your Footmen and not me And so I
removd to another Window nearer the Door and he lookd like a sad Foolish as
he is
Beck Beck said my Lady this is not to be borne Was ever the like heard
Is my Kinsman and Lord Daverss to be thus used by such a Slut And was coming
to me And indeed I began to be afraid for I have but a poor Heart after all
But Mrs Jewkes hearing high Words came in again with the second Course and
said Pray your Ladyship dont so discompose yourself I am afraid this Days
Business will make Matters wider than ever between your good Ladyship and your
Brother For my Master doats upon Madam
Woman said she do thou be silent Sure I that was born in this House
may have some Privilege in it without being talkd to by the saucy Servants in
it
I beg Pardon Madam replyd Mrs Jewkes and turning to me said Madam my
Master will take it very ill if you make him wait for you thus So I rose to go
out but my Lady said If it was only for that Reason she shant go And went
to the Door and shut it and said to Mrs Jewkes Woman dont come again till
I call you and coming to me took my Hand and said Find your Legs Miss if
you please
I stood up and she tappd my Cheek Oh says she that scarlet Glow shews
what a rancorous little Heart thou hast if thou durst shew it but come this
way And so led me to her Chair Stand there said she and answer me a few
Questions while I dine and Ill dismiss thee till I call thy impudent Master
to Account and then Ill have you Face to Face and all this Mystery of
Iniquity shall be unravelld for between you I will come to the Bottom of it
When she had sat down I movd to the Window on the other Side the Parlour
looking into the private Garden and her Woman said Mrs Pamela dont make my
Lady angry Stand by her Ladyship as she bids you Said I Pray good now let
it suffice you to attend your Ladys Commands and dont lay yours upon me
Your Pardon sweet Mrs Pamela said she Times are much alterd with you Ill
assure you Said I Her Ladyship has a very good Plea to be free in the House
that she was born in But you may as well confine your Freedoms to the House in
which you had your Breeding Why how now Mrs Pamela said she Since you
provoke me to it Ill tell you a Piece of my Mind Hush hush good Woman said
I alluding to my Ladys Language to Mrs Jewkes my Lady wants not your
Assistance Besides I cant scold
The Woman was ready to stutter with Vexation and Lord Jackey laughd as if
he would burst his Sides Gd me Beck said he youd better let her alone
to my Lady here for shell be too many for twenty such as you and I And then
he laughd again and repeated I cant scold quotha but by Gad Miss you
can speak dd spightful Words I can tell you that Poor Beck poor Beck
Fore Gad shes quite dumbfounderd
Well but Pamela said my Lady come hither and tell me truly Dost thou
think thyself really marryd Said I and approachd her Chair My good Lady
I will answer all your Commands if youll have Patience with me and not be so
angry as you are but I cant bear to be usd thus by this Gentleman and your
Ladyships Woman Child said she thou art very impertinent to my Kinsman thou
canst not be civil to me and my Ladyships Woman is much thy Betters But
thats not the Thing Dost thou think thou art really marryd
I see Madam said I you are resolvd not to be pleasd with any Answer I
shall return If I should say I am not then your Ladyship will call me hard
Names and perhaps I should tell a Fib If I should say I am your Ladyship
will ask how I have the Impudence to be so and will call it a Shammarriage
I will said she be answerd more directly Why what and please your
Ladyship does it signify what I think Your Ladyship will believe as you
please
But canst thou have the Vanity the Pride the Folly said she to think
thyself actually marryd to my Brother He is no Fool Child and Libertine
enough of Conscience and thou art not the first in the List of his credulous
Harlots Well well said I and was in a sad Flutter as I am easy and
pleasd with my Lot pray your Ladyship let me continue so as long as I can It
will be Time enough for me to know the worst when the worst comes And if it
will be so bad your Ladyship should pity me rather than thus torment me before
my Time
Well said she but dost not think I am concernd that a young Wench whom
my poor dear Mother lovd so well should thus cast herself away and suffer
herself to be deluded and undone after such a noble Stand as thou madst for so
long a Time
I think myself far from being deluded and undone and please your Ladyship
and am as innocent and virtuous as ever I was in my Life Thou lyest Child
said she So your Ladyship told me twice before
She gave me a Slap on the Hand for this and I made a low Curchee and said
I humbly thank your Ladyship but I could not refrain Tears And added Your
dear Brother Madam however wont thank your Ladyship for this Usage of me
tho I do Come a little nearer me my Dear said she and thou shalt have a
little more than that to tell him of if thou thinkst thou hast not made
Mischief enough already between a Sister and Brother But Child if he was
here I would serve thee worse and him too I wish he was said I Dost thou
threaten me Mischiefmaker and insolent as thou art
Now pray your Ladyship said I but got to a little Distance be pleasd
to reflect upon all that you have said to me since I have had the Honour or
rather Misfortune to come into your Presence whether you have said one Thing
befitting your Ladyships Degree to me even supposing I was the Wench and the
Creature you suppose me to be Come hither my pert Dear replyd she come
but within my Reach for one Moment and Ill answer thee as thou deservest
To be sure she meant to box my Ears But I should be unworthy of my happy
Lot if I could not shew some Spirit
When the Cloth was taken away I said I suppose I may now depart your
Presence Madam I suppose not said she Why Ill lay thee a Wager Child thy
Stomachs too full to eat and so thou mayst fast till thy mannerly Master
comes home
Pray your Ladyship said her Woman let the poor Girl sit down at Table with
Mrs Jewkes and me Said I you are very kind Mrs Worden but Times as you
said are much alterd with me and I have been of late so much honourd by
better Company that I cant stoop to yours
Was ever such Confidence said my Lady Poor Beck poor Beck said her
Kinsman why she beats you quite out of the Pit Will your Ladyship said I
be pleased to tell me how long I am to tarry For youll please to see by that
Letter that I am obligd to attend my Masters Commands And so I gave her the
dear Gentlemans Letter from Mr Carltons which I thought would make her use
me better as she might judge by it of the Honour done me by him Ay said she
this is my worthy Brothers Hand It is directed to Mrs Andrews Thats to you
I suppose Child And so she read on making Remarks as she went along in this
manner
My dearest Pamela »Mighty well« I hope my not coming home this Night will
not frighten you »Vastly tender indeed And did it frighten you Child«
You may believe I cant help it »No to be sure A Person in thy Way of Life
is more tenderly used than an honest Wife But mark the End of it« I could
have wishd »Prythee Jackey mind this« we »mind the significant We« had not
engaged to the good Neighbourhood at Sir Simons for tomorrow Night »Why
does the good Neighbourhood and does Sir Simon permit thy Visits Child They
shall have none of mine then Ill assure them« But I am so desirous to set out
on Wednesday for the other House »So Jackey we but just nickd it I find«
that as well as in Return for the Civilities of so many good Friends who
will be there on purpose I would not put it off »Now mind Jackey« What I
beg of you »Mind the Wretch that could use me and your Uncle as he has
done he is turnd Beggar to this Creature« I beg of you therefore my Dear
»My Dear theres for you I wish I may not be quite sick before I get thro«
What I beg of you therefore my Dear and then she lookd me full in the
Face is that you will go in the Chariot to Sir Simons the sooner in the Day
the better »Dear Heart and why so when WE were not expected till Night
Why pray observe the Reason Hem« said she Because you will be diverted
with the Company »Mighty kind indeed« who all »Jackey Jackey mind this«
who all so much admire you »Now hed ha been hangd to have said so
complaisant a thing had he been marryd Im sure« »Very true Aunt said
he A plain Case that« Thinks I thats hard upon poor Matrimony tho I
hope my Lady dont find it so But I durst not speak out Who all so much
admire you said she »I must repeat that Pretty Miss I wish thou wast as
admirable for thy Virtue as for that Babyface of thine« And I hope to join
you there by your Teatime in the Afternoon »So youre in very good Time
Child an Hour or two hence to answer all your important Preengagements«
which will be better than going home and returning with you as it will be six
Miles Difference to me and I know the good Company will excuse my Dress on the
Occasion »Very true any Dress is good enough Im sure for such Company as
admire thee Child for a Companion in thy ruind State Jackey Jackey mind
mind again more fine things still« I count every Hour of this little Absence
for a Day »Theres for you Let me repeat it« I count every Hour of this
little Absence for a Day »Mind too the Wit of the good Man One may see Love
is a new thing to him Here is a very tedious time gone since he saw his Deary
no less than according to his amorous Calculation a Dozen Days and Nights at
least and yet TEDIOUS as it is it is but a LITTLE ABSENCE Well said my good
accurate and consistent Brother But wise Men in Love are always the greatest
Simpletons But now comes the Reason why this LITTLE Absence which at the
same time is so GREAT an Absence is so tedious« FOR I am »Ay now for it«
with the utmost Sincerity My dearest Love »Out upon DEAREST LOVE I shall
never love the Word again Pray bid your Uncle never call me Dearest Love
Jackey« For Ever Yours »But Brother thou lyest Thou knowest thou
dost And so my good Lady Andrews or what shall I call you Your dearest
Love will be for Ever Yours And hast thou the Vanity to believe this But
stay here is a Postscript The poor Man knew not when to have done to his
dearest Love Hes sadly in fort truly Why his dearest Love you are
mighty happy in such a Lover« If you could go to dine with them »Cry your
Mercy my dearest Love now comes the Preengagement« it will be a Freedom that
will be very pleasing to them and the more as they dont expect it
Well so much for this kind Letter But you see you cannot honour this admiring
Company with this littleexpected and but in Complaisance to his Folly I dare
say littledesired Freedom And I cannot forbear admiring you so much myself
my dearest Love that I will not spare you at all this whole Evening For tis
a little hard if thy Masters Sister may not be blest a little bit with thy
charming Company
So I found I had shewed her my Letter to very little Purpose and repented
it several times as she read on Well then I hope said I your Ladyship
will give me Leave to send my Excuses to your good Brother and say that your
Ladyship is come and is so fond of me that you will not let me leave you
Pretty Creature said she and wantest thou thy good Master to come and quarrel
with his Sister on thy Account But thou shalt not stir from my Presence and
I would now ask thee What it is thou meanest by shewing me this Letter Why
Madam said I to shew your Ladyship how I was engaged for this Day and Evening
And for nothing else said she Why I cant tell Madam said I But if you
can collect from it any other Circumstances I might hope I should be not the
worse treated
I saw her Eyes began to sparkle with Passion and she took my Hand and
said grasping it very hard I know confident Creature that you shewd it me
to insult me You shewd it me to let me see that he could be civiller to a
Beggarborn than to me or to my good Lord Davers You shewd it me as if
youd have me as credulous a Fool as yourself to believe your true Marriage
when I know the whole Trick of it and have Reason to believe you do too and
you shewd it me to upbraid me with his stooping to such painted Dirt to the
Disgrace of a Family ancient and untainted beyond most in the Kingdom and now
will I give thee One hundred Guineas for one bold Word that I may fell thee at
my Foot
Was not this very dreadful To be sure I had better have kept the Letter
from her I was quite frightend And this fearful Menace and her fiery Eyes
and rageful Countenance made me lose all my Courage So I said weeping Good
your Ladyship pity me Indeed I am honest indeed I am virtuous indeed I
would not do a bad thing for the World
Tho I know said she the whole Trick of thy pretended Marriage and thy
foolish Ring here and all the rest of the wicked Nonsense yet I should not
have Patience with thee if thou but offerest to let me know thy Vanity prompts
thee to believe thou art marryd to my Brother I could not bear the Thought
So take care Pamela take care beggarly Brat take care
Good your Ladyship said I spare my dear Parents They are honest and
industrious They were once in a very creditable Way and never were Beggars
Misfortunes may attend any body And I can bear the cruellest Imputations on
myself because I know my Innocence but upon such honest industrious Parents
who lived thro the greatest Trials without being beholden to any thing but
Gods Blessing and their own hard Labour I cannot bear Reflection
What art thou setting up for a Family Creature as thou art God give me
Patience with thee I suppose my Brothers Folly for thee and his Wickedness
together will in a little while occasion a Search at the Heraldsoffice to
set out thy wretched Obscurity Provoke me I desire thou wilt One hundred
Guineas will I give thee to say but thou thinkest thou art marryd to my
Brother
Your Ladyship I hope wont kill me And since nothing I can say will
please but your Ladyship is resolved to quarrel with me since I must not say
what I think on one hand nor another whatever your Ladyship designs by me be
pleased to do and let me depart your Presence
She gave me a Slap on the Hand and reached to box my Ear but Mrs Jewkes
hearkening without and her Woman too they both came in at that Instant and
Mrs Jewkes said pushing herself in between us Your Ladyship knows not what
you do Indeed you dont My Master would never forgive me if I sufferd in
his House one he so dearly loves to be so used and it must not be tho you
are Lady Davers Her Woman too interposed and told her I was not worth her
Ladyships Anger But she was like a Person beside herself
I offerd to go out and Mrs Jewkes took my Hand to lead me out But her
Kinsman set his back against the Door and put his Hand to his Sword and said
I should not go till his Aunt permitted it He drew it halfway and I was so
terrified that I cryd out Oh the Sword the Sword and not knowing what I
did I run to my Lady herself and claspd my Arms about her forgetting just
then how much she was my Enemy and said sinking on my Knees Defend me good
your Ladyship The Sword the Sword Mrs Jewkes said Oh my Lady will fall
into Fits but Lady Davers was herself so startled at the matter being carryd
so far that she did not mind her Words and said Jackey dont draw your
Sword You see as great as her Spirit is, she cant bear that
Come said she be comforted he shant fright you Ill try to overcome
my Anger and will pity you So Wench rise up and dont be foolish Mrs
Jewkes held her Salts to my Nose and I did not faint And my Lady said Mrs
Jewkes if you would be forgiven leave Pamela and me by ourselves and Jackey
do you withdraw only you Beck stay
So I sat down in the Window all in a sad Fluster for to be sure I was
sadly frighted Said her Woman You should not sit in my Ladys Presence Mrs
Pamela Yes let her sit till she is a little recoverd of her Fright said my
Lady and set my Chair by her And so she sat overagainst me and said To be
sure Pamela you have been very provoking with your Tongue to be sure you
have as well upon my Nephew who is a Man of Quality too as me And
palliating her cruel Usage and beginning I suppose to think herself she had
carryd it further than she could answer it to her Brother she wanted to lay
the Fault upon me Own said she you have been very saucy and beg my Pardon
and beg Jackeys Pardon and I will try to pity you For you are a sweet Girl
after all if you had but held out and been honest
Tis injurious to me Madam said I to imagine I am not honest Said she
Have you not been abed with my Brother tell me that Your Ladyship replyd
I asks your Questions in a strange Way and in strange Words
Oh your Delicacy is wounded I suppose by my plain Question This
Niceness will soon leave you Wench It will indeed But answer me directly Said
I Then your Ladyships next Question will be Am I marryd And you wont bear
my Answer to that and will beat me again
I hant beat you yet have I Beck said she So you want to make out a
Story do you But indeed I cant bear thou shouldst so much as think thou
art my Sister I know the whole Trick of it and so tis my Opinion dost thou
It is only thy little Cunning that it may look like a Cloak to thy yielding
and get better Terms from him Prythee prythee Wench thou seest I know the
World a little almost as much at Thirtytwo as thou dost at Sixteen
Remember that
I rose from the Window and walking to the other End of the Room Beat me
again if you please said I but I must tell you Ladyship I scorn your Words
and am as much marryd as your Ladyship
At that she run to me but her Woman interposed again Let the vain wicked
Creature go from your Presence Madam said she She is not worthy to be in it
She will but vex your Ladyship Stand away Beck said she Thats an Assertion
that I would not take from my Brother I cant bear it As much marryd as I
Is that to be borne But if the Creature believes she is Madam said her Woman
she is to be as much pityd for her Credulity as despised for her Vanity
I was in hopes to have slipt out of the Door but she caught hold of my
Gown and pulled me back Pray your Ladyship said I dont kill me I have
done no Harm But she lockd the Door and put the Key in her Pocket So
seeing Mrs Jewkes before the Window I lifted up the Sash and said Mrs
Jewkes I believe it would be best for the Chariot to go to your Master and let
him know that Lady Davers is here and I cannot leave her Ladyship
She was resolved to be displeased let me say what I would Said she No
no hell then think that I make the Creature my Companion and know not how to
part with her I thought your Ladyship replyd I could not have taken
Exceptions at this Message Thou knowest nothing Wench said she of what
belongs to People of Condition How shouldst thou Nor thought I do I desire
it at this Rate
What shall I say Madam said I Nothing at all replyd she let him expect
his Dearest Love and be disappointed it is but adding a few more Hours and he
will make every one a Day in his amorous Account Mrs Jewkes coming nearer
me and my Lady walking about the Room being then at the End I whisperd Let
Robert stay at the Elms Ill have a Struggle fort byandby
As much marryd as I repeated she The Insolence of the Creature And
so she walkd about the Room talking to herself to her Woman and nowandthen
to me but seeing I could not please her I thought I had better be silent And
then it was Am I not worthy an Answer If I speak said I your Ladyship is
angry at me tho ever so respectfully if I do not I cannot please Would your
Ladyship tell me but how I shall oblige you and I would do it with all my
Heart
Confess the Truth said she that thourt an undone Creature hast been in
Bed with thy Master and art sorry for it and for the Mischief thou hast
occasiond between him and me and then Ill pity thee and persuade him to pack
thee off with a hundred or two of Guineas and some honest Farmer may take Pity
of thee and patch up thy Shame for the sake of the Money and if nobody will
have thee thou must vow Penitence and be as humble as I once thought thee
I was quite sick at Heart at all this passionate Extravagance and to be
hinderd from being where was the Desire of my Soul and afraid too of incurring
my dear Masters Displeasure and as I sat I saw it was no hard matter to get
out of the Window into the Frontyard the Parlour being even with the Yard
and so have a fair Run for it and after I had seen my Lady at the other End of
the Room again in her Walks having not pulled down the Sash when I spoke to
Mrs Jewkes I got upon the Seat and whipt out in a Minute and ran away as
hard as I could drive my Lady calling after me to return and her Woman at the
other Window But two of her Servants appearing at her crying out and she
bidding them stop me I said Touch me at your Peril Fellows but their Ladys
Commands would have prevaild on them had not Mr Colbrand who it seems had
been kindly orderd by Mrs Jewkes to be within Call when she saw how I was
treated come up and put on one of his deadly fierce Looks the only time I
thought it ever became him and said He would chine the Man that was his
Word who offerd to touch his Lady and so he run alongside of me and I heard
my Lady say The Creature flies like a Bird And indeed Mr Colbrand with his
huge Strides could hardly keep pace with me and I never stopt till I got to
the Chariot and Robert had got down seeing me running at a Distance and held
the Door in his Hand with the Step ready down and in I jumpt without touching
the Step saying Drive me drive me as fast as you can out of my Ladys
Reach And he mounted and Colbrand said Dont be frightend Madam nobody
shall hurt you And shut the Door and away Robert drove but I was quite out
of Breath and did not recover it and my Fright all the Way
Mr Colbrand was so kind but I did not know it till the Chariot stopt at
Sir Simons to step up behind the Coach lest as he said my Lady should send
after me and he told Mrs Jewkes when he got home that he never saw such a
Runner as me in his Life
When the Chariot stopt which was not till Six oClock so long did this
cruel Lady keep me Miss Darnford run out to me O Madam said she ten times
welcome but youll be beat I can tell you for here has been the Squire come
these two Hours and is very angry at you
Thats hard indeed said I Indeed I cant afford it for I hardly knew
what I said having not recoverd my Fright Let me sit down Miss anywhere
said I for I have been sadly off So I sat down and was quite sick with the
Hurry of my Spirits and leand upon her Arm
Said she Your Lord and Master came in very moody and when he had staid an
Hour and you not come he began to fret and said He did not expect so little
Complaisance from you And he is now sat down with great Persuasions to a Game
at Loo Come you must make your Appearance Lady fair for hes too sullen to
attend you I doubt
You have no Strangers have you Miss said I Only two Women Relations
from Stamford replyd she and an humble Servant of one of them Only all the
World Miss said I What shall I do if he be angry I cant bear that
Just as I had said so came in Lady Darnford and Lady Jones to chide me as
they said for not coming sooner And before I could speak came in my dear
Master I ran to him How dye Pamela said he and saluted me with a little
more Formality than I could well bear I expected half a Word from me when I
was so complaisant to your Choice would have determind you and that youd
been here to Dinner and the rather as I made my Request a reasonable one
and what I thought would be agreeable to you O dear Sir said I pray pray
hear me and youll pity me and not be displeased Mrs Jewkes will tell you
that as soon as I had your kind Commands I said I would obey you and come to
Dinner with these good Ladies and so prepared myself instantly with all the
Pleasure in the World Lady Darnford and Miss said I was their Dear Look
you said Miss did I not tell you Statelyones that something must have
happend But O these Tyrants these Men
Why what hinderd it my Dear said he Give yourself Time you seem out of
Breath O Sir said I Out of Breath well I may For just as I was ready
to come away who should drive into the Courtyard but Lady Davers Lady
Davers Nay then my sweet Dear said he and kissed me more tenderly hast
thou had a worse Trial than I wish thee from one of the haughtiest Women in
England tho my Sister For she too my Pamela was spoiled by my good
Mother But have you seen her
Yes Sir said I and more than seen her Why sure said he she has not
had the Insolence to strike my Girl Sir said I but tell me you forgive me
for indeed I could not come sooner and these good Ladies but excuse me and
Ill tell you all another time for to take up the good Companys Attention now
will spoil their Pleasantry and be to them tho more important to me like the
Ladys broken China you cautiond me about
Thats a dear Girl said he I see my Hints are not thrown away upon you
and I beg Pardon for being angry at you and for the future will stay till I
hear your Defence before I judge you Said Miss Darnford This is a little
better To own a Fault is some Reparation and what every lordly Husband will
not do He said But tell me my Dear Did Lady Davers offer you any Incivility
O Sir replyd I she is your Sister and I must not tell you all but she has
used me very severely Did you tell her said he you was marryd Yes Sir I
did at last But she will have it tis a Shammarriage and that I am a vile
Creature And she was ready to beat me when I said so for she could not have
Patience that I should be deemd her Sister as she said
How unlucky it was replyd he I was not at home Why did you not send to
me here Send Sir I was kept Prisoner by Force They would not let me stir or
do you think I would have been hinderd from obeying you Nay I told them
that I had a Preengagement but she ridiculed me and said Waitingmaids talk
of Preengagements and then I shewd her your kind Letter and she made a
thousand Remarks upon it and made me wish I had not In short whatever I could
do or say there was no pleasing her and I was a Creature and Wench and all
that was naught But you must not be angry with her on my Account
Well but said he I suppose she hardly asked you to dine with her for she
came before Dinner I suppose if it was soon after you had received my Letter
No Sir dine with my Lady no indeed Why she would make me wait at Table upon
her with her Woman because she would not expose herself and me before the
Menservants which you know Sir was very good of her Ladyship
Well said he but did you wait at Table upon her Would you have had me
Sir said I Only Pamela replyd he if you did and knew not what belongd
to your Character as my Wife I shall be very angry with you Sir said I I
did not but refused it out of Consideration of the Dignity you have raised me
to else Sir I could have waited on my Knees upon your Sister
Now said he you confirm my Opinion of your Prudence and Judgment She is
an insolent Woman and shall dearly repent it But Sir she is to be excusd
because she wont believe I am indeed marryd so dont be too angry at her
Ladyship
He said Ladies pray dont let us keep you from the Company Ill only ask
a Question or two more and attend you Said Lady Jones I so much long to hear
this Story of poor Madams Persecution that if it was not improper I should be
glad to stay Miss Darnford would stay for the same Reason my Master saying he
had no Secrets to ask and that it was kind of them to interest themselves in my
Grievances
But Lady Darnford went in to the Company and told them the Cause of my
Detention for it seems my dear Master loved me too well to keep to himself
the Disappointment my not being here to receive him had given him and they had
all given the two Miss Boroughss and Mr Perry the Stamford Guests such a
Character of me that they said they were impatient to see me
Said my Master But Pamela you said They and Them Who had my Sister with
her besides her Woman Her Nephew Sir and three Footmen on Horseback and she
and her Woman were in her Chariot and Six
Thats a sad Coxcomb said he How did he behave to you Not
extraordinarily Sir but I should not complain for I was even with him
because I thought I ought not to bear with him as with my Lady
By Heaven said he if I knew he behavd unhandsomely to my Jewel Id send
him home to his Uncle without his Ears Indeed Sir returnd I I was as hard
upon him as he was upon me Said he Tis kind to make the best for them But I
believe I shall make them dearly repent their Visit if I find their Behaviour
to call for my Resentment
But sure my Dear you might have got away when you went to your own
Dinner Indeed Sir said I her Ladyship locked me in and would not let me
stir So you hant eat any Dinner No indeed Sir nor had a Stomach to any
My poor Dear said he But then how got you away at last O Sir replyd I
I jumpd out of the Parlour Window and run away to the Chariot which had
waited for me several Hours by the Elmwalk from the Time of my Ladys coming
for I was just going as I said and Mr Colbrand saw me thro her Servants
whom she calld to to stop me and was so kind to step behind the Chariot
unknown to me and saw me safe here
Im sure said he these insolent Creatures must have treated you vilely
But tell me What Part did Mrs Jewkes act in this Affair A very kind Part
Sir said I in my Behalf and I shall thank her for it Sweet Creature said
he thou makest the best for every body but I hope she deserves it for she
knew you are married But come well now join the Company and try to forget
all you have sufferd for two or three Hours that we may not fill the Company
with our Concerns and resume the Subject as we go home And you shall find I
will do you Justice as I ought But you forgive me Sir said I and are not
angry Forgive you my Dear returnd he I hope you forgive me I shall
never make you Satisfaction for what you have sufferd from me and for me And
with those Words he led me into the Company
He very kindly presented me to the two Stranger Ladies and the Gentleman
and them to me and Sir Simon who was at Cards rose from Table and saluted
me Adad Madam said he Im glad to see you here What it seems you have been
a Prisoner Tis well you was or your Spouse and I should have sat in Judgment
upon you and condemned you to a fearful Punishment for your first Crime of Læsæ
Majestatis I had this explained to me afterwards as a sort of Treason against
my Liege Lord and Husband For we Husbands hereabout said he are resolvd to
turn over a new Leaf with our Wives and your Lord and Master shall shew us the
Way I can tell you that But I see by your Eyes my sweet Culprit added he
and your Complection you have had sour Sauce to your sweet Meat
Miss Darnford said I think we are obligd to our sweet Guest at last for
she was forced to jump out at a Window to come to us Indeed said Mrs Peters
and my Masters Back being turnd says she Lady Davers when a Maiden was
always vastly passionate but a very good Lady when it was over And shed make
nothing of slapping her Maids about and begging their Pardons afterwards if
they took it patiently otherwise she used to say The Creatures were even with
her
Ay said I I have been a many Creatures and Wenches and I know not what
for these were the best of her Names And I thought I ought to act up to the
Part her dear Brother has given me and so truly I have but just escaped a
good Cuffing
Miss Boroughs said to her Sister as I heard but she did not design it
What a sweet Creature is this And then she takes so little upon her is so
free so easy and owns the Honour done her so obligingly Said Mr Perry
softly The loveliest Person I ever saw Who could have the Heart to be angry
with her one Moment
Says Miss Darnford Here my dearest Neighbour these Gentry are admiring
you strangely and Mr Perry says you are the loveliest Lady he ever saw and
says it to his own Mistresss Face too Ill assure you Or else says Miss
Boroughs I should think he much flatterd me
O Miss returnd I you are exceedingly obliging but your kind Opinion
ought to learn me Humility and to reverence so generous a Worth as can give a
Preference against yourself where it is so little due Indeed Madam said Miss
Nanny Boroughs I love my Sister well but it would be a high Compliment to any
Lady to be deemd worthy of a second or third Place after you
There is no answering such Politeness said I I am sure Lady Davers was
very cruel to keep me from such kind Company Twas our Loss Madam said Miss
Darnford Ill allow it said I in Degree Miss for you have all been
deprived several Hours of an humble Admirer
Mr Perry said I never before saw so young a Lady shine forth with such
Graces of Mind and Person Alas Sir said I my Master coming up Mine is but a
borrowd Shine like that of the Moon Here is the Sun to whose fervent Glow of
Generosity I owe all the faint Lustre that your Goodness is pleased to look upon
with so much kind Distinction
Mr Perry was pleased to hold up his Hands and the Ladies lookd upon one
another. And my Master said hearing part of the last Sentence Whats the
pretty Subject that my Pamela is displaying so sweetly her Talents upon
Oh Sir said Mr Perry I will pronounce you the happiest Gentleman in
England And I said Miss Boroughs And I said Miss Darnford And I said each
of the others
My Master said most generously Thank ye Thank ye Thank ye all round my
dear Friends I know not your Subject but if you believe me so for a single
Instance of this dear Girls Goodness what must I think myself when blest with
a thousand Instances and experiencing it in every single Act and Word I do
assure you my Pamelas Person all lovely as you see it is far short of her
Mind That first impressd me in her Favour but that only made me her Lover
But they were the Beauties of her Mind that made me her Husband and proud my
sweet Dear said he pressing my Hand am I of that Title
Well said Mr Perry very kindly and politely Excellent as your Lady is I
know not the Gentleman that could deserve her but that one who could say such
just and such fine things
I was all abashd and took Miss Darnfords Hand and said Save me dear
Miss by your sweet Example from my rising Pride But could I deserve half
these kind things what a happy Creature should I be Said Miss Darnford You
deserve them all indeed you do
The greatest Part of the Company being sat down to Loo my Master being
pressd said he would take one Game at Whist but had rather be excused too
having been up all Night and I asked how his Friend did Well talk of that
said he another time which and his Seriousness made me fear the poor
Gentleman was dead as it provd
We cast in and Miss Boroughs and my Master were together and Mr Perry and
I and I had all four Honours the first time and we were up at one Deal Said
my Master An honourable Hand Pamela should go with an honourable Heart but
youd not have been up if a Knave had not been one Whist Sir said Mr Perry
you know was a Court Game originally and the Knave I suppose signified
always the prime Minister
Tis well said my Master if now there is but One Knave in a Court out of
Four Persons take the Court thro
The King and Queen Sir said Mr Perry can do no Wrong you know So there
are Two that must be good out of Four and the Ace seems too plain a Card to
mean much Hurt
We compliment the King said my Master in that manner and tis well to do
so because there is something sacred in the Character But yet if Force of
Example be considerd it is going a great way for certainly a good Master
makes a good Servant generally speaking
One thing added he in regard to the Ace I have always lookd upon that
plain and honestlooking Card in the Light you do And have considerd Whist as
an English Game in its Original which has made me fonder of it than of any
other For by the Ace I have always thought the Laws of the Land denoted and
as the Ace is above the King or Queen and wins them I think the Law should be
thought so too tho maybe I shall be deemd a Whig for my Opinion
I shall never play at Whist said Mr Perry without thinking of this and
shall love the Game the better for the Thought tho I am no Partyman Nor I
said my Master for I think the Distinctions of Whig and Tory odious and love
the one or the other only as they are honest and worthy Men and have never
nor ever shall I hope given a Vote but according to what I thought was for
the publick Good let either Whig or Tory propose it
I wish Sir replyd Mr Perry all Gentlemen in your Station would act
so If there was no undue Influence said my Master I am willing to think so
well of all Mankind that I believe they generally would
But you see said he by my Pamelas Hand when all the Courtcards get
together and are acted by one Mind the Game is usually turnd accordingly
Tho nowandthen too it may be so circumstanced that Honours will do them no
Good and they are forced to depend altogether upon Tricks
I thought this way of Talking prettier than the Game itself. But I said
Tho I have won the Game I hope Sirs I am no Trickster No said my Master
God forbid but Courtcards should sometimes win with Honour But you see for
all that your Game is as much owing to the Knave as the King and you my Fair
one lost no Advantage when it was put into your Power
Else Sir said I I should not have done Justice to my Partner You are
certainly right Pamela replyd he tho you thereby beat your Husband Sir
said I You may be my Partner next and I must do Justice you know Well said
he always chuse so worthy a Friend as Chance has given you for a Partner and
I shall never find Fault with you do what you will
Mr Perry said You are very good to me Sir and Miss Boroughs I observed
seemd pleasd with the Compliment to her humble Servant by which I saw she
esteemd him as he seems to deserve Dearsirs said I how much better is
this than to be lockd in by Lady Davers
The Supper was brought in sooner on my Account because I had had no Dinner
and there passed very agreeable Compliments on the Occasion Lady Darnford would
help me first because I had so long fasted as she said Sir Simon would have
placed himself next me And my Master said he thought it was best where there
was an equal Number of Ladies and Gentlemen that they should sit intermingled
that the Gentlemen might be employd in helping and serving the Ladies Lady
Darnford said She hoped Sir Simon would not sit above any Ladies at his own
Table especially Well said he I shall sit overagainst her however and
thats as well
My dearest Sir could not keep his Eye off me and seemd generously to be
delighted with all I did and all I said and every one was pleased to see his
kind and affectionate Behaviour to me
Lady Jones brought up the Discourse about Lady Davers again and my Master
said I fear Pamela you have been hardly used more than youll say I know my
Sisters passionate Temper too well to believe she could be overcivil to you
especially as it happend so unluckily that I was out If added he she had had
no Pique to you my Dear yet what has passed between her and me has so
exasperated her that I know she would have quarreld with my Horse if she had
thought I valued it and nobody else was in her way Dear Sir said I dont say
so of good Lady Davers
Said he Why my Dear I know she came on purpose to quarrel and had she
not found herself under a very violent Uneasiness after what had passed between
us and my Treatment of her Lords Letter she would not have offerd to come
near me What sort of Language had she for me Pamela O Sir very good only
her wellmannerd Brother and such as that
Only said he tis taking up the Attention of the Company disagreeably or
I could tell you almost every Word she said Lady Jones wishd to hear a further
Account of my Ladys Conduct and most of the Company joind with her
particularly Mrs Peters who said That as they knew the Story and Lady
Daverss Temper tho she was very good in the main they could wish to be so
agreeably entertaind if he and I pleasd because they imagind I should have
no Difficulties after this
Tell me then Pamela said he did she lift up her Hand at you Did she
strike you But I hope not A little Slap of the Hand said I or so Insolent
Woman She did not I hope offer to strike your Face Why said I I was a
little saucy once or twice and she would have given me a Cuff on the Ear if
her Woman and Mrs Jewkes had not interposd Why did you not come out at the
Door Because said I her Ladyship sat her Chair against it one while and
another while lockd it else I offerd several times to get away
She knew I expected you here You say you shewd her my Letter to you Yes
Sir said I but I had better not for she was then more exasperated and made
strange Comments upon it I doubt it not said he but did she not see by the
kind Epithets in it that there was room to think we were marryd O Sir
replyd I and made the Company smile she said For that very Reason she was
sure I was not marryd
Thats like my Sister said he exactly like her and yet she lives very
happily herself For her poor Lord never contradicts her Indeed he dare not
You was a great many Wenches was you not my Dear for thats a great Word
with her Yes Sir said I Wenches and Creatures out of Number; and worse
than all that What tell me my Dear Sir said I I must not have you angry
with Lady Davers While you are so good to me tis all nothing only the
Trouble that I cannot be sufferd to shew how much I honour her Ladyship as
your Sister
Well said he you need not be afraid to tell me I must love her after
all tho I shall not be pleasd with her on this Occasion And I know it is her
mistaken Love for me that makes her so uneasy and after all she comes I
know to be reconciled to me tho it must be thro a good hearty Quarrel first
For she can shew a deal of Sunshine but it must be always after a Storm And
Ill love her dearly if she has not been and will not be too hard upon my
Dearest
Mr Peters said Sir you are very good and very kind I love to see this
Complaisance to your Sister tho she be in Fault so long as you can shew it
with so much Justice to the sweetest Innocence and Merit in the World By all
thats good Mr Peters said he Id present my Sister with One thousand
Pounds if she would kindly take my dear Pamela by the Hand and wish her Joy
and call her Sister And yet I should be unworthy of the dear Creature that
smiles upon me there if it was not principally for her sake and the Pleasure
it would give her that I say this For I will never be thoroughly reconciled to
my Sister till she does for I most sincerely think as to myself that my dear
Spouse there she sits does me more Honour in her new Relation than she
receives from me
Sir said I I am overwhelmd with your Goodness And my Eyes were filled
with Tears of Joy and Gratitude And all the Company with one Voice blessed
him And Lady Jones was pleased to say The Company and Behaviour of you two
happy Ones to each other are the most edifying I ever knew I am always
improvd when I see you How happy would every good Lady be with such a
Gentleman and every good Gentleman with such a Lady In short you seem made
for one another.
O Madam said I you are so kind so good to me that I know not how to
thank you enough Said she You deserve more than I can express for to all who
know your Story you are a matchless Person You are an Ornament to our Sex and
your Virtue tho your dear Spouse is so excellent and generous as he is has
met with no more than its due Reward And God long bless you together
You are said my dearest Sir very good to me Madam I am sure I have
taken Liberties in my former Life that deserved not so much Excellence I have
offended extremely by Trials glorious to my Pamela but disgraceful to me
against a Virtue that I now consider as almost sacred and I shall not think I
deserve her till I can bring my Manners my Sentiments and my Actions to a
Conformity with her own And in short my Pamela said he I want you to be
nothing but what you are and have been You cannot be better and if you could
it would be but filling me with Despair to attain the awful Heights of Virtue
at which you are arrived Perhaps added the dear Gentleman the Scene I have
beheld within these twelveHours has made me more serious than otherwise I
should have been but Ill assure you before all this good Company I speak the
Sentiments of my Heart and those not of this Day only
What a happy Daughter is yours O my dear Father and Mother I owe it all to
Gods Grace and yours and my good Ladys Instructions and to these let me
always look back with grateful Acknowledgments that I may not impute to myself
and be proud my very great Happiness
The Company were so kindly pleasd with our Concerns and my dear Masters
Goodness that he observing their Indulgence and being himself curious to know
what had passd between my Lady and me repeated his Question What she had
calld me besides Wench and Creature And I said My Lady supposing I was
wicked lamented over me very kindly my Depravity and Fall and said what a
thousand Pities it was so much Virtue as she was pleasd to say was so
destroyd and that I had yielded after so noble a Stand as she said
Excuse me Gentlemen and Ladies said I you know my Story it seems and I
am commanded by one who has a Title to all my Obedience to proceed
They gave all of them Bows of Approbation that they might not interrupt me
and I continued my Story
I told her Ladyship continued I that I was still innocent and would be
so and it was injurious to suppose me otherwise Why tell me Wench said she
but I think I must not tell you what she said Yes do said my Master to
clear my Sister we shall think it very bad else
I held my Hand before my Face and said Why she said Tell me Wench hast
thou not been abed with thy Master That she said And when I said she
askd strange Questions and in strange Words she ridiculd my Delicacy as she
calld it and said my Niceness would not last long She said I must know I was
not really marryd that my Ring was only a Sham and all was my Cunning to
cloak my yielding and get better Terms She said she knew the World as much at
Thirtytwo as I did at Sixteen and bid me remember that
I took the Liberty to say but I got a good way off That I scornd her
Ladyships Words and was as much marryd as her Ladyship And then Goodsirs
I had certainly been cuffd if her Woman had not interposed and told her I was
not worth her Anger and that I was as much to be pitied for my Credulity as
despisd for my Vanity
My poor Pamela said my Master this was tootoo hard upon you O Sir said
I how much easier it was to me than if it had been so That would have broke
my Heart quite For then I should have deservd it all and worse and these
Reproaches added to my own Guilt would have made me truly wretched
Lady Darnford at whose Righthand I sat kissed me with a kind of Rapture
and calld me a sweet Exemplar for all my Sex Mr Peters said very handsome
Things So did Mr Perry and Sir Simon had Tears in his Eyes and said to my
Master Why Neighbour Neighbour this is excellent by my Troth I believe
there is something in Virtue that we had not well considered On my Soul there
has been but one Angel come down for these thousand Years and you have got her
Well my Dearest said my Master pray proceed with your Story till we have
done Supper since the Ladies seem pleasd with it Why Sir said I her
Ladyship went on in the same manner but said one time and held me by the
Hand she would give me a hundred Guineas for one provoking Word or if I would
but say I believd myself marryd that she might fell me at her Foot But
Sir you must not be angry with her Ladyship She calld me Painted Dirt
Babyface Waitingmaid Beggarbrat and Beggarborn but I said as long as I
knew my Innocence I was easy in every thing but to have my dear Parents
abused I said they were never Beggars nor beholden to any body nor to any
thing but Gods Grace and their own Labour That they once lived in Credit
that Misfortunes might befal any body and that I could not bear they should be
treated so undeservedly
Then her Ladyship said Ay she supposed my Masters Folly would make us now
set up for a Family and that the Heralds Office would shortly be searchd to
make it out
Exactly my Sister again said he So you could not please her any way
No indeed Sir When she commanded me to fill her a Glass of Wine and
would not let her Woman do it she askd If I was above it I then said If to
attend your Ladyship at Table or even kneel at your Feet was requird of me I
would most gladly do it were I only the Person you think me But if it be to
triumph over one who has received Honours that she thinks require from her
another Part that she may not be utterly unworthy of them I must say I cannot
do it This quite astonishd her Ladyship and a little before her Kinsman
brought me the Bottle and Glass and requird me to fill it for my Lady at her
Command and calld himself my Deputy and I said Tis in a good Hand help my
Lady yourself So Sir added I you see I could be a little saucy upon
Occasion
You please me well my Pamela said he This was quite right But proceed
Her Ladyship said She was astonishd adding she supposd I would have her
look upon me as her Brothers Wife And askd me What in the Name of
Impudence possessed me to dare to look upon myself as her Sister And I said
That was a Question better became her most worthy Brother to answer than me And
then I thought I should have had her Ladyship upon me but her Woman interposed
I afterwards told Mrs Jewkes at the Window That since I was hinderd from
going to you I believd it was best to let Robert go with the Chariot and say
Lady Davers was come and I could not leave her Ladyship But this did not
please and I thought it would too for she said No no hell think I make
the Creature my Companion and know not how to part with her
Exactly said he my Sister again
And she said I knew nothing what belongd to People of Condition how
should I What shall I say Madam said I Nothing at all answerd she let
him expect his dearest Love alluding to your kind Epithet in your Letter and
be disappointed it is but adding a few more Hours to this heavy Absence and
every one will become a Day in his amorous Account
So to be short I saw nothing to be done and I feard Sir you would
wonder at my Stay and be angry and I watchd my Opportunity while my Lady
who was walking about the Room was at the further End and the Parlour being a
Groundfloor in a manner I jumpd out of the Window and run for it
Her Ladyship calld after me so did her Woman and I heard her say I flew
like a Bird and she calld to two of her Servants in Sight to stop me but I
said Touch me at your Peril Fellows And Mr Colbrand having been planted at
hand by Mrs Jewkes who was very good in the whole Affair and incurrd her
Ladyships Displeasure once or twice by taking my Part seeing how I was usd
put on a fierce Look cockd his Hat with one Hand and put tother on his
Sword and said He would chine the Man who offerd to touch his Lady And so he
ran a longside of me and could hardly keep Pace with me And here my dear
Sir concluded I I am at yours and the good Companys Service
They seemd highly pleasd with my Relation and my Master said he was glad
Mrs Jewkes behavd so well as also Mr Colbrand Yes Sir said I when Mrs
Jewkes interposed once her Ladyship said It was hard she who was born in
that House could not have some Privilege in it without being talkd to by the
saucy Servants And she calld her another time Fatface and womand her most
violently
Well said my Master I am glad my Dear you have had such an Escape My
Sister was always passionate as Mrs Peters knows And my poor Mother had
enough to do with us both For we neither of us wanted Spirit and when I was a
Boy I never came home from School or College for a few Days but tho we
longd to see one another before yet ere the first Day was over we had a
Quarrel for she being seven Years older than me was always for domineering
over me and I could not bear it And I used on her frequently quarrelling with
the Maids and being always a Word and a Blow to call her Captain Bab for her
Name is Barbara And when my Lord Davers courted her my poor Mother has made up
Quarrels between them three times in a Day and I used to tell her she would
certainly beat her Husband marry whom she would if he did not beat her first
and break her Spirit
Yet has she continued he very good Qualities She was a dutiful Daughter
is a good Wife she is bountiful to her Servants firm in her Friendships
charitable to the Poor and I believe never any Sister better loved a Brother
than she me And yet she always lovd to vex and teaze me and as I would bear
a Resentment longer than she shed be one Moment the most provoking Creature in
the World and the next would do any thing to be forgiven and I have made her
when she was the Aggressor follow me all over the House and Garden to be upon
good Terms with me
But this Case piques her the more because she had found out a Match for me
in the Family of a Person of Quality and had set her Heart upon bringing it to
Effect and had even proceeded far in it without my Knowledge and brought me
into the Ladys Company unknowing of her Design But I was then averse to
Matrimony at all and was angry at her proceeding in it so far without my
Privity or Encouragement And she cannot for this Reason bear the Thoughts of
my being now marryd and to her Mothers Waitingmaid too as she reminds my
dear Pamela when I had declind her Proposal with the Daughter of a noble Earl
This is the whole Case said he and allowing for the Pride and Violence of
her Spirit and that she knows not as I do the transcendent Excellencies of my
dear Spouse and that all her View in her own Conception, is, mine and my
Familys Honour she is a little to be allowd for Tho never fear my Pamela
but that I who never had a Struggle with her that I did not get the better
will do you Justice and myself too
This Account of Lady Davers pleasd every body and was far from being to
her Ladyships Disadvantage in the main And I would do any thing in the World
to have the Honour to be in her Ladyships good Graces Yet I fear it will not
be easily if at all effected But I will proceed
After Supper nothing would serve Miss Darnford and Miss Boroughs but we
must have a Dance and Mr Peters who plays a good Fiddle urgd it forward my
dear Master tho in a Ridingdress dancd and dancd sweetly with Miss
Boroughs
Sir Simon for a Gentleman of his Years dancd well and took me out but
put on one of his free Jokes that I was fitter to dance with a younger
Gentleman and he would have it tho I had not dancd since my dear Ladys
Death to signify except once or twice to please Mrs Jervis and indeed
believd all my dancing Days over that as my Master and I were the best
Dancers we should dance once together before Folks as the odd Gentleman said
and my dear Sir was pleasd to oblige him And he afterwards dancd with Miss
Darnford who I think has much more Skill and Judgment than I tho they
compliment me with an easier Shape and Air
We left the Company with great Difficulty at about Eleven my dear Master
having been up all Night before and we being at the greatest Distance from
Home tho they seemd inclinable not to break up so soon as they were
Neighbours and the Ladies said they longd to hear what would be the End of
Lady Daverss Interview with her Brother
My Master said He feard we must not now think of going next Day to
Bedfordshire as we had intended and perhaps might see them again And so we
took Leave and set out for Home where we arrivd not till Twelve oClock and
found Lady Davers had gone to Bed about Eleven wanting sadly that we should
come home first but so did not I
Mrs Jewkes told us That my Lady was sadly fretted that I had got away so
and seemd a little apprehensive of what I would say of the Usage I had receivd
from her She askd Mrs Jewkes If she thought I was really marryd And Mrs
Jewkes telling her Yes she fell into a Passion and said Begone bold Woman
I cannot bear thee See not my Face till I send for thee Thou hast been very
impudent to me once or twice today already and art now worse than ever She
said She would not have told her Ladyship if she had not askd her and was
sorry she had offended
She sent for her at Suppertime Said she I have another Question to ask
thee Woman and tell me Yes if thou darest Was ever any thing so odd Why
then said Mrs Jewkes I will say No before your Ladyship speaks My Master
laughd Poor Woman said he She calld her insolent and Assurance and
said Begone bold Woman as thou art but come hither Dost thou know if that
young Harlot is to lie with my Brother tonight
She said she knew not what to answer because she had threatend her if
she said Yes But at last my Lady said I will know the Bottom of this
Iniquity I suppose they wont have so much Impudence to lie together while Im
in the House but I dare say they have been Bedfellows
Said she I will lie tonight in the Room I was born in so get that Bed
ready That Room being our Bedchamber Mrs Jewkes after some Hesitation
replyd Madam my Master lies there and has the Key I believe Woman said
she thou tellest me a Story Indeed Madam said she he does and has some
Papers there he will let nobody see for Mrs Jewkes said she feard she would
beat her if she went up and found by my Cloaths and some of my Masters how
it was
So she said I will then lie in the best Room as it is called and Jackey
shall lie in the little green Room adjoining to it Has thy Master got the Key
of those No Madam said Mrs Jewkes I will order them to be made ready for
your Ladyship
And where dost thou lay thy pursy Sides said she Up two Pair of Stairs
Madam next the Garden And where lies the young Harlotry continued she
Sometimes with me Madam said she And sometimes with thy virtuous Master I
suppose said my Lady Ha Woman what sayst thou I must not speak said
Mrs Jewkes Well thou mayst go said she but thou hast the Air of a
Secretkeeper of that sort I dare say thoult set the good Work forward most
cordially Poor Mrs Jewkes said my Master and laughd most heartily
This Talk we had whilst we were undressing So she and her Woman lay
together in the Room my Master lay in before I was happy
I said Dear Sir pray in the Morning let me lock myself up in the Closet
as soon as you rise and not be calld down for ever so much for I am afraid to
see her Ladyship And I will employ myself about my Journal while these Things
are in my Head Dont be afraid my Dear said he am not I with you
Mrs Jewkes pityd me for what I had undergone in the Day and I said We
wont make the worst of it to my dear Master because we wont exasperate where
we would reconcile but added I I am much obligd to you Mrs Jewkes and I
thank you Said my Master I hope she did not beat your Lady Mrs Jewkes Not
much Sir said she but I believe I savd my Lady once Yet added she I was
most vexd at the young Lord Ay Mrs Jewkes said my Master let me know his
Behaviour I can chastise him tho I cannot my Sister who is a Woman let me
therefore know the Part he acted
Nothing my dear Sir said I but Impertinence if I may so say and
Foolishness that was very provoking but I spared him not and so there is no
Room Sir for your Anger No Sir said Mrs Jewkes nothing else indeed
How was her Woman said my Master Pretty impertinent replyd Mrs Jewkes
as Ladies Women will be But said I you know she savd me once or twice Very
true Madam returnd Mrs Jewkes And she said to me at Table continued she
that you was a sweet Creature she never saw your Equal but that you had a
Spirit and she was sorry you answerd her Lady so who never bore so much
Contradiction before I told her added Mrs Jewkes that if I was in your
Ladyships Place I should have taken much more upon me and that you was all
Sweetness And she said I was got over she saw
Tuesday Morning the Sixth of my Happiness
My Master had said to Mrs Jewkes That he should not rise till Eight or Nine
as he had sat up all the Night before but it seems my Lady knowing he usually
rose about Six got up soon after that Hour raisd her Woman and her Nephew
having a whimsical Scheme in her Head to try to find whether we were in Bed
together And at about half an Hour after Six she rapt at our Chamberdoor
My Master was wakd at the Noise and asked who was there Open the Door
said she open it this Minute I said clinging about his Neck Dear dear Sir
pray pray dont O save me save me Dont fear Pamela said he The Womans
mad I believe
But he calld out Who are you What do you want You know my Voice well
enough said she I will come in Pray Sir said I dont let her Ladyship
in Dont be frighted my Dear said he she thinks we are not marryd and
are afraid to be found abed together Ill let her in but she shant come near
my Dearest
So he slipt out of Bed and putting on some of his Cloaths and Gown and
Slippers he said What bold body dares disturb my Repose thus and opend the
Door In rushd she Ill see your Wickedness said she I will In vain shall
you think to hide it from me What should I hide said he How dare you set a
Foot into my House after the Usage I have receivd from you I had coverd
myself over Head and Ears and trembled every Joint He lookd and spyd her
Woman and Kinsman in the Room she crying out Bear Witness Jackey bear
Witness Beck the Creature is now in his Bed And not seeing the young
Gentleman before who was at the Feet of the Bed he said How now Sir Whats
your Business in this Apartment Begone this Moment And he went away
directly
Beck said my Lady you see the Creature is in his Bed I do Madam
answerd she My Master came to me and said Ay look Beck and bear Witness
here is my Pamela My dear Angel my lovely Creature dont be afraid look
up and see how frantickly this Woman of Quality behaves
At that I just peepd and saw my Lady who could not bear this coming to
me and she said Wicked abandond Wretch vile Brother to brave me thus Ill
tear the Creature out of Bed before your Face and expose you both as you
deserve
At that he took her in his Arms as if she had been nothing and carrying
her out of the Room she cryd out Beck Beck help me Beck the Wretch is
going to fling me down Stairs Her Woman ran to him and said Good Sir for
Gods sake do no Violence to my Lady Her Ladyship has been ill all Night
He sat her down in the Chamber she lay in and she could not speak for
Passion Take care of your Lady said he and when she has renderd herself more
worthy of my Attention Ill see her till then at her Peril and yours too
come not near my Apartment And so he came to me and with all the sweet
soothing Words in the world pacifyd my Fears and gave me Leave to go to write
in my Closet as soon as my Fright was over and to stay there till Things were
more calm And so he dressd himself and went out of the Chamber permitting
me at my Desire to fasten the Door after him
At Breakfasttime my Master tappd at the Door and I said Whos there I
my Dearest said he Oh then replyd I will I open it with Pleasure I had
wrote on a good deal but I put it by when I ran to the Door I would have
lockd it again when he was in but he said Am not I here Dont be afraid
Said he Will you come down to Breakfast my Love O no dear Sir said I be
pleasd to excuse me Said he I cannot bear the Look of it that the Mistress
of my House should breakfast in her Closet as if she durst not come down and I
in it O dearest Sir replyd I pray pass that over for my sake and dont
let my Presence aggravate your Sister for a kind Punctilio Then my Dear said
he I shall breakfast with you here No pray dear Sir answerd I breakfast
with your Sister That my Dear replyd he will too much gratify her Pride
and look like a Slight to you Dear Sir said I your Goodness is too great
for me to want punctilious Proofs of it Pray oblige her Ladyship She is your
Guest surely Sir you may be freest with your dutiful Wife
She is a strange Woman said he How I pity her She has thrown herself
into a violent Fit of the Colick thro Passion And is but now her Woman says
a little easier I hope Sir said I when you carryd her Ladyship out you did
not hurt her No replyd he I love her too well I sat her down in the
Apartment she had chosen and she but now desires to see me and that I will
breakfast with her or refuses to touch any thing. But if my Dearest please I
will insist it shall be with you at the same time
O no no dear Sir said I I should never forgive myself if I did I would
on my Knees beg her Ladyships Goodness to me now I am in your Presence tho I
thought I ought to carry it a little stiff when you was absent for the sake of
the Honour you had done me And dear Sir if my deepest Humility will please
permit me to shew it
You shall do nothing returnd he unworthy of my Wife to please the proud
Woman But I will however permit you to breakfast by yourself this once as
I have not seen her since I have used her in so barbarous a manner as I
understand she exclaims I have and as she will not eat any thing, unless I give
her my Company So he saluted me and withdrew and I lockd the Door after
him again for Fear
Mrs Jewkes soon after rappd at my Door Whos there said I Only I
Madam So I opend the Door Tis a sad Thing Madam said she you should be so
much afraid in your own House She brought me some Chocolate and Toast and I
askd her about my Ladys Behaviour She said She would not suffer any body to
attend but her Woman because she would not be heard what she had to say but
she believd she said her Master was very angry with the young Lord as she
calld her Kinsman for as she passd by the Door she heard him say in a high
Tone I hope Sir you did not forget what belongs to the Character you assume
or to that Effect
About one oClock my Master came up again and he said Will you come down
to Dinner Pamela when I send for you Whatever you command Sir I must do
But my Lady wont desire to see me No matter whether she will or no But I will
not suffer that she shall prescribe her insolent Will to my Wife and in your
own House too I will by my Tenderness to you mortify her Pride and it
cannot be done so well as to her Face
Dearest Sir said I pray indulge me and let me dine here by myself It
will make my Lady but more inveterate Said he I have told her we are
marryd She is out of all Patience about it and yet pretends not to believe
it Upon that I tell her Then she shall have it her own way and that I am not
And what has she to do with it either way She has scolded and beggd commanded
and prayd blessd me and cursd me by Turns twenty times in these few
Hours And I have sometimes soothed her sometimes stormd at her sometimes
argued sometimes raged and at last I left her and took a Turn in the Garden
for an Hour to compose myself because you should not see how the foolish Woman
ruffled me and just now I came out seeing her coming in
Just as he had said so I cryd Oh my Lady my Lady for I heard her Voice
in the Chamber saving Brother Brother one Word with you Stopping in Sight
of the Closet where I was He stept out and she went up to the Window that
looks towards the Garden and said Mean Fool that I am to follow you up and
down the House in this manner tho I am shunnd and avoided by you You a
Brother you a Barbarian Is it possible we could be born of one Mother
Why said he do you charge me with a Conduct to you that you bring upon
yourself Is it not surprizing that you should take Liberties with me that
the dear Mother you have namd never gave you an Example for to any of her
Relations Was it not sufficient that I was insolently taken to Task by you
in your Letters but my Retirements must be invaded My House insulted And if
I have one Person dearer to me than another that that Person must be singled
out for an Object of Violence
Ay said she that one Person is the Thing But tho I came up with a
Resolution to be temperate and to expostulate with you on your avoiding me so
unkindly yet cannot I have Patience to look upon that Bed in which I was born
and to be made the guilty Scene of your Wickedness with such a
Huh said he I charge you call not the dear Girl by any Name unworthy of
her You know not as I told you her Excellence and I desire youll not repeat
the Freedoms you have taken below
She stampd with her Foot and said God give me Patience So much Contempt
to a Sister that loves you so well and so much Tenderness to a vile
He put his Hand before her Mouth Be silent said he once more I charge
you You know not the Innocence you abuse so freely I ought not neither will I
bear it
She sat down and fannd herself and burst into Tears and such Sobs of
Grief or rather Passion that grievd me to hear and I sat and trembled sadly
He walkd about the Room in great Anger and at last said Let me ask you
Lady Davers why I am thus insolently to be called to Account by you Am I not
independent Am I not of Age Am I not at Liberty to please myself Would to
God that instead of a Woman and my Sister any Man breathing had dard
whatever his Relation under that of a Father to give himself half the Airs you
have done Why did you not send of this accursed Errand your Lord who could
write me such a Letter as no Gentleman should write nor any Gentleman tamely
receive He should have seen the Difference
We all know said she that since your Italian Duel you have commencd a
Bravo and all your Airs breathe as strongly of the Manslayer as of the
Libertine This said he I will bear for I have no Reason to be ashamd of
that Duel nor the Cause of it since it was to save a Friend and because tis
levelld at myself only But suffer not your Tongue to take too great a Liberty
with my Pamela
She interrupted him in a violent Burst of Passion If I bear this said
she I can bear any thing! O the little Strumpet He interrupted her then
and said wrathfully Begone rageful Woman begone this Moment from my Presence
Leave my House this Instant I renounce you and all Relation to you and
never more let me see your Face or call me Brother And took her by the Hand to
lead her out She laid hold of the Curtains of the Window and said I will not
go you shall not force me from you thus ignominiously in the Wretchs Hearing
and suffer her to triumph over me in your barbarous Treatment of me
Not considering any thing, I run out of the Closet and threw myself at my
dear Masters Feet as he held her Hand in order to lead her out and I said
Dearest Sir let my beg that no Act of Unkindness for my sake pass between so
worthy and so near Relations Dear dear Madam said I and claspd her Knees
pardon and excuse the unhappy Cause of all this Evil on my Knees I beg your
Ladyship to receive me to your Grace and Favour and you shall find me incapable
of any Triumph but in your Ladyships Goodness to me
Creature said she art thou to beg an Excuse for me Art thou to implore
my Forgiveness Is it to thee I am to owe the Favour that I am not cast headlong
from my Brothers Presence Begone to thy Corner Wench begone I say lest thy
Paramour kill me for trampling thee under my Foot
Rise my dear Pamela said my Master rise dear Life of my Life and expose
not so much Worthiness to the ingrateful Scorn of so violent a Spirit And so he
led me to my Closet again and there I sat and wept
Her Woman came up just as he had led me to my Closet and was returning to
her Lady and she very humbly said Excuse my Intrusion good Sir I hope I
may come to my Lady Yes Mrs Worden said he you may come in and pray take
your Lady down Stairs with you for fear I should too much forget what belongs
either to my Sister or myself
I began to think seeing her Ladyship so outrageous with her Brother what a
happy Escape I had had the Day before tho hardly enough usd in Conscience
too as I thought
Her Woman beggd her Ladyship to walk down and she said Beck seest thou
that Bed That was the Bed that I was born in and yet that was the Bed thou
sawest as well as I the wicked Pamela in this Morning and this Brother of mine
just risen from her
True said he you both saw it and tis my Pride that you could see it
Tis my Bridalbed and tis abominable that the Happiness I knew before you
came hither should be so barbarously interrupted
Swear to me but thou bold Wretch said she swear to me that Pamela
Andrews is really and truly thy lawful Wife without Sham without Deceit
without Doublemeaning and I know what I have to say
Ill humour you for one once said he and then swore a solemn Oath that I
was And said he did I not tell you so at first
I cannot yet believe you said she because in this Particular I had
rather have called you Knave than Fool Provoke me not too much said he for
if I should as much forget myself as you have done youd have no more of a
Brother in me than I have a Sister in you
Who marryd you said she tell me that Was it not a broken Attorney in a
Parsons Habit Tell me truly in the Wenchs Hearing When shes undeceived
shell know how to behave herself better Thank God thought I it is not so
No said he and Ill tell you that I bless God I abhorred that Project
before it was brought to bear and Mr Williams marryd us Nay then said she
but answer me another Question or two I beseech you Who gave her away
Parson Peters said he Where was the Ceremony performd In my own little
Chapel which you may see as it was put in Order on purpose
Now said she I begin to fear there is something in it But who was
present said she Methinks replyd he I look like a fine Puppy to suffer
myself to be thus interrogated by an insolent Sister But if you must know
Mrs Jewkes was present O the Procuress said she But nobody else Yes said
he all my Heart and Soul
Wretch said she And what would thy Father and Mother have said had they
lived to this Day Their Consents replyd he I should have thought it my Duty
to ask but not yours Madam
Suppose said she I had marryd my Fathers Groom what would you have said
to that I could not have behavd worse replyd he than you have done And
would you not have thought said she I had deservd it
Said he Does your Pride let you see no Difference in the Case you put None
at all said she Where can the Difference be between a Beggars Son marryd by
a Lady or a Beggars Daughter made a Gentlemans Wife
Then Ill tell you replyd he The Difference is a Man ennobles the Woman
he takes be she who she will and adopts her into his own Rank be it what it
will But a Woman tho ever so nobly born debases herself by a mean Marriage
and descends from her own Rank to his she stoops to
When the noble Family of Stuart allyd itself into the low Family of Hyde
comparatively low I mean did any body scruple to call the Lady Royal
Highness and Duchess of York And did any body think her Daughters the late
Queen Mary and Queen Anne less Royal for that
When the brokenfortund Peer goes into the City to marry a rich Tradesmans
Daughter be he Duke or Earl does not his Consort immediately become ennobled
by his Choice and who scruples to call her Lady Duchess or Countess
But when a Duchess or Countess Dowager descends to mingle with a Person of
obscure Birth does she not then degrade herself and is she not effectually
degraded And will any Duchess or Countess rank with her
Now Lady Davers do you not see a Difference between my marrying my dear
Mothers beloved and deserving Waitingmaid with a Million of Excellencies
about her and such Graces of Mind and Person as would adorn any Distinction
and your marrying a sordid Groom whose constant Train of Education
Conversation and Opportunities could possibly give him no other Merit than
that which must proceed from the vilest lowest Taste in his sordid Dignifier
O the Wretch said she how he finds Excuses to palliate his Meanness
Again said he let me observe to you Lady Davers when a Duke marries a
private Person is he not still her Head by virtue of being her Husband But
when a Lady descends to marry a Groom is not that Groom her Head as her
Husband And does not that Difference strike you For what Lady of Quality ought
to respect another who has made so sordid a Choice and set a Groom above her
For would not that be to put that Groom upon a Par with themselves Call this
Palliation or what you will but if you see not the Difference you are blind
and a very unfit Judge for yourself much more unfit to be a Censurer of me
Id have you said she publish your fine Reasons to the World and they
will be sweet Encouragements to all the young Gentlemen that read them to cast
themselves away on the Servantwenches in their Families
Not at all Lady Davers replyd he For if any young Gentleman stays till
he finds such a Person as my Pamela so inrichd with the Beauties of Person and
Mind so well accomplishd and so fitted to adorn the Degree she is raised to
he will stand as easily acquitted as I shall be to all the World that sees her
except there be many more Lady Daverss than I apprehend can possibly be met
with
And so returnd she you say You are actually and really marryd
honestly or rather foolishly marryd to this Slut
I am indeed said he if you presume to call her so And why should I not
if I please Who is there ought to contradict me Whom have I hurt by it Have
I not an Estate free and independent Am I likely to be beholden to you or any
of my Relations And why when I have a Sufficiency in my own single Hands
should I scruple to make a Woman equally happy who has all I want For Beauty
Virtue Prudence and Generosity too I will tell you she has more than any
Lady I ever saw Yes Lady Davers she has all these naturally they are born
with her and a few Years Education with her Genius has done more for her
than a whole Life has done for others
No more no more I beseech you said she thou surfeitest me honest Man
with thy weak Folly Thou are worse than an Idolater thou hast made a graven
Image and thou fallest down and worshippest the Works of thine own Hands and
Jeroboam like would have every body else bow down before thy Calf
Well said Lady Davers Whenever your Passion suffers you to descend to
Witticism tis almost over with you But let me tell you tho I worship
myself this sweet Creature that you call such Names I want nobody else to do
it and should be glad you had not intruded upon me to interrupt me in the
Course of our mutual Happiness
Well said well said my kind my wellmannerd Brother said she I shall
after this very little interrupt your mutual Happiness Ill assure you I
thought you a Gentleman once and prided myself in my Brother but Ill say with
the Burial Service Ashes to Ashes and Dirt to Dirt
Ay said he Lady Davers and there we must all end at last you with all
your Pride and I with my plentiful Fortune must come to it and then where
will be your Distinction Let me tell you except you and I both mend our
Manners tho you have been no Duellist no Libertine as you call me this
amiable Girl whom your Vanity and Folly so much despises will outsoar us
both infinitely outsoar us and He that judges best will give the Preference
where due without Regard to Birth or Fortune
Egregious Preacher said she What my Brother already turnd Puritan See
what Marriage and Repentance may bring a Man to I heartily congratulate this
Change Well said she and came towards me and I trembled to see her coming
but her Brother followed to observe her and I stood up at her Approach and she
said Give me thy Hand Mrs Pamela Mrs Andrews Mrs what shall I call
thee Thou hast done Wonders in a little time Thou hast not only made a Rake
a Husband but thou hast made a Rake a Preacher But take care added she after
all in ironical Anger and tappd me on the Neck take care that thy Vanity
begins not where his ends and that thou callest not thyself my Sister
She shall I hope Lady Davers said he when she can make as great a
Convert of you from Pride as she has of me from Libertinism
Mrs Jewkes just then came up and said Dinner was ready Come my Pamela
said my dear Master you desired to be excusd from breakfasting with us but I
hope youll give Lady Davers and me your Company to Dinner
How dare you insult me thus said my Lady How dare you said he insult
me by your Conduct in my own House after I have told you I am marryd How dare
you think of staying here one Moment and refuse my Wife the Honours that belong
to her as such
Merciful God said she give me Patience and held her Hand to her Forehead
Pray Sir dear Sir said I excuse me dont vex my Lady Be silent my
dear Love said he you see already what you have got by your sweet
Condescension You have thrown yourself at her Feet and insolent as she is
she has threatend to trample upon you Shell ask you presently if she is to
owe her Excuse to your Interposition and yet nothing else can make her
forgiven
Poor Lady she could not bear this and as if she was discomposed she ran
to her poor grieved Woman and took hold of her Hand and said Lead me down
lead me down Beck Let us instantly quit this House this cursed House that
once I took Pleasure in order the Fellows to get ready and I will never see
it nor its Owner more And away she went down Stairs in a great Hurry And
the Servants were orderd to make ready for their Departure
I saw my Master was troubled and I went to him and I said Pray dear Sir
follow my Lady down and pacify her Tis her Love to you Poor Woman said
he I am concernd for her But I insist upon your coming down since Things are
gone so far Her Pride will get new Strength else and we shall be all to begin
again
Dearest dear Sir said I excuse me going down this once Indeed my Dear
I wont replyd he What shall it be said that my Sister shall scare my Wife
from my Table and I present No I have borne too much already and so have
you And I charge you come down when I send for you
He departed saying these Words and I durst not dispute for I saw he was
determind And there is as much Majesty as Goodness in him as I have often had
Reason to observe tho never more than on the present Occasion with his
Sister Her Ladyship instantly put on her Hood and Gloves and her Woman tyd up
a Handkerchief full of Things for her principal Matters were not unpackd and
her Coachman got her Chariot ready and her Footmen their Horses and she
appeard resolved to go But her Kinsman and Mr Colbrand had taken a Turn
together somewhere and she would not come in but sat fretting on a Seat in
the Foreyard with her Woman by her and at last said to one of the Footmen
Do you James stay to attend my Nephew and well take the Road we came
Mrs Jewkes went to her Ladyship and said Your Ladyship will be pleasd to
stay Dinner tis just coming upon Table No said she I have enough of this
House I have indeed But give my Service to your Master and I wish him happier
than he has made me
He had sent for me down and I came tho unwillingly and the Cloth was
laid in the Parlour I had jumpd out of and there was my Master walking about
it Mrs Jewkes came in and asked If he pleasd to have Dinner brought in for
my Lady would not come in but desired her Service and wishd him happier than
he had made her He seeing at the Window when he went to that Side of the Room
all ready to go stept out to her and said Lady Davers if I thought you would
not be hardend rather than softend by my Civility I would ask you to walk in
and at least let your Kinsman and Servants dine before they go She wept and
turnd her Face from him to hide it he took her Hand and said Come Sister
let me prevail upon you Walk in No said she dont ask me I wish I could
hate you as much as you hate me You do said he and a great deal more Ill
assure you or else youd not vex me as you do Come pray walk in Dont ask
me said she Her Kinsman just then returnd Why Madam said he your Ladyship
wont go till you have dind I hope No Jackey said she I cant stay Im an
Intruder here it seems Think said my Master of the Occasion you gave for
that Word Your violent Passions are the only Intruders Lay them aside and
never Sister was dearer to a Brother Dont say such another Word said she I
beseech you for I am too easy to forgive you any thing, for one kind Word
You shall have One hundred said he nay Ten thousand if they will do my dear
Sister And kissing her he added Pray give me your Hand John said he put up
the Horses you are all as welcome to me for all your Ladys angry with me as
at any Inn you can put up at Come Mr H said he lead your Aunt in for she
wont permit that Honour to me
This quite overcame her and she said giving her Brother her Hand Yes I
will and you shall lead me anywhither and kissd him But dont think said
she I can forgive you neither And so he led her into the Parlour where I was
But said she why do you lead me to this Wench Tis my Wife my dear Sister
and if you will not love her yet dont forget common Civilities to her for
your own sake
Pray Madam said her Kinsman since your Brother is pleasd to own his
Marriage we must not forget common Civilities as the Squire says And Sir
added he permit me to wish you Joy Thank you Sir said he And may I said
he looking at me Yes Sir replyd my Master So he saluted me very
complaisantly and said I vow to Gad Madam I did not know this Yesterday
and if I was guilty of a Fault I beg your Pardon
My Lady said Thourt a goodnaturd foolish Fellow thou mightst have savd
this nonsensical Parade till I had given thee Leave Why Aunt said he if
theyre actually marryd theres no Help fort and we must not make Mischief
between Man and Wife
But Brother said she do you think Ill sit at Table with the Creature No
contemptuous Names I beseech you Lady Davers I tell you she is really my Wife
and I must be a Villain to suffer her to be ill used She has no Protector but
me and if you will permit her she will always love and honour you Indeed
indeed I will Madam said I
I cannot I wonot sit down at Table with her said she Pamela I hope thou
dost not think I will Indeed Madam said I if your good Brother will permit
it I will attend your Chair all the time you dine to shew my Veneration for
your Ladyship as the Sister of my kind Protector See said he her Condition
has not altered her but I cannot permit in her a Conduct unworthy of my Wife
and I hope my Sister would not expect it neither
Let her leave the Room replyd she if I must stay Indeed youre out of
the Way Aunt said her Kinsman that is not right as Things stand Said my
Master No Madam that must not be but if it must be so well have two
Tables you and your Nephew shall sit at one and my Spouse and I at the other
And then see what a Figure your unreasonable Punctilio will make you cut She
seemd irresolute and he sat her down at the Table the first Course which was
Fish being brought in Where said she to me wouldst thou presume to sit
Wouldst have me give Place to thee too Wench Come come said my Master
Ill put that out of Dispute and so sat himself down by her Ladyship at the
upper End of the Table and placd me on his Lefthand Excuse me my Dear said
he this once excuse me Oh your cursed Complaisance said she to such a
Hush Sister Hush said he I will not bear her to be spoken slightingly of
Tis enough that to oblige your violent and indecent Caprice you make me
compromise with you thus
Come Sir added he pray take your Place next your gentle Aunt Beck
said she do you sit down by Pamela there since it must be so well be hail
Fellow all With all my Heart replyd my Master I have so much Honour for all
the Sex that I would not have the meanest Person of it stand while I sit had
I been to have made the Custom Mrs Worden pray sit down Sir said she I
hope I shall know my Place better
My Lady sat considering and then lifting up her Hands said Lord what
will this World come to To nothing but whats very good replyd my Master
if such Spirits as Lady Daverss do but take the Rule of it Shall I help you
Sister to some of that Carp Help your Beloved said she Thats kind said he
Now thats my good Lady Davers Here my Love let me help you since my
Sister desires it Mighty well returnd she mighty well But sat on one
Side turning from me as it were
Dear Aunt said her Kinsman lets see you buss and be Friends since tis
so what signifies it Hold thy Fools Tongue said she Is thy Tone so soon
turnd since Yesterday Said my Master I hope nothing affronting was offerd
Yesterday to my Wife in her own House She hit him a good smart Slap on the
Shoulder Take that impudent Brother said she Ill Wife you and in her own
House She seemd half afraid but he in very good Humour kissd her and
said I thank you Sister I thank you But I have not had a Blow from you
before of some Time
Fore Gad Sir said her Kinsman tis very kind of you to take it so well
Her Ladyship is as good a Woman as ever livd but I have had many a Cuff from
her myself
I wont put it up neither said my Master except youll assure me you have
seen her serve her Lord so
I pressd my Foot to his and said softly Dont dear Sir What said
she is the Creature begging me off from Insult If his Manners wont keep him
from outraging me I wonot owe his Forbearance to thee Wench
Said my Master and put some Fish on my Ladys Plate Well does Lady Davers
use the Word Insult But come let me see you eat one Mouthful and Ill
forgive you and he put the Knife in one of her Hands and the Fork in the
other As I hope to live said he I cannot bear this silly Childishness for
nothing at all I am quite ashamd of it
She put a little Bit to her Mouth but put it down in her Plate again I
cannot eat said she I cannot swallow Im sure It will certainly choak me He
had forbid his Menservants to come in that they might not behold the Scene he
expected and rose from Table himself and filld a Glass of Wine her Woman
offering and her Kinsman rising to do it Meantime his Seat between us being
vacant she turnd to me How now Confidence said she darest thou sit next
me Why dost thou not rise and take the Glass from thy Property
Sit still my Dear said he Ill help you both But I arose for I was
afraid of a good Cuff and said Pray Sir let me help my Lady So you shall
replyd he when shes in a Humour to receive it as she ought Sister said he
with a Glass in his Hand Pray drink youll perhaps eat a little Bit of
something then Is this to insult me said she No really returnd he but
to incite you to eat for youll be sick for want of it
She took the Glass and said God forgive you wicked Wretch for your Usage
of me this Day This is a little as it used to be I once had your Love
and now it is changed and for who that vexes me And wept so she was forced
to set down the Glass
You dont do well said he You neither treat me like your Brother nor a
Gentleman and if you would suffer me I would love you as well as ever But
for a Woman of Sense and Understanding and a finebred Woman as I once thought
my Sister you act quite a childish Part Come added he and held the Glass to
her Lips let your Brother that you once lovd prevail on you to drink this
Glass of Wine She then drank it He kissd her and said Oh how Passion
deforms the noblest Minds You have lost a good deal of that Loveliness that
used to adorn my Sister And let me persuade you to compose yourself and be my
Sister again For Lady Davers is indeed a fine Woman and has a presence as
majestick for a Lady as her dear Brother has for a Gentleman
He then sat down between us again and said when the second Course came in
Let Abraham come in and wait I touchd his Toe again but he minded it not
and I saw he was right for her Ladyship began to recollect herself and did not
behave half so sorrowfully before the Servants as she had done and helpd
herself with some little Freedom but she could not forbear a strong Sigh and a
Sob nowandthen She calld for a Glass of the same Wine she had drank before
Said he shall I help you again Lady Davers and rose at the same time and
went to the Sideboard and filled her a Glass Indeed said she I love to be
soothd by my Brother Your Health Sir
Said my Master to me with great Sweetness My Dear now Im up Ill fill
for you I must serve both Sisters alike She lookd at the Servant as if he
were a little Check upon her and said to my Master How now Sir Not that
you know of He whisperd her Dont shew any Contempt before my Servants to one
I have so deservedly made their Mistress Consider tis done Ay said she
thats the Thing that kills me
He gave me a Glass My good Ladys Health Sir said I and stood up That
wont do said she leaning towards me softly and was going to say Wench or
Creature or some such Word And my Master seeing Abraham look towards her her
Eyes being red and swelld said Indeed Sister I would not vex myself about
it if I was you About what said she Why replyd he about your Lords not
coming down as he had promised He sat down and she tappd him on the
Shoulder Ah Wickedone said she nor will that do neither Why to be sure
added he it would vex a Lady of your Sense and Merit to be slighted if it was
so but I am sure my Lord loves you as well as you love him and you know not
what may have happend
She shook her Head and said Thats like your Art This makes one amazd
you should be so caught Who my Lord caught said he no no hell have more
Wit than so But I never heard you was jealous before Nor said she have you
any Reason to think so now Honest Friend you need not wait said she my Woman
will help us to what we want Yes let him replyd he Abraham fill me a
Glass Come said my Master Lord Davers to you Madam I hope hell take care
he is not found out Youre very provoking Brother said she I wish you was
as good as Lord Davers But dont carry your Jest too far Well said he tis
a tender Point I own Ive done
By these kind Managements the Dinner passed over better than I expected And
when the Servants were withdrawn my Master said still keeping his Place
between us I have a Question to ask you Lady Davers and that is If youll
bear me Company to Bedfordshire I was intending to set out thither tomorrow
But Ill tarry your Pleasure if youll go with me
Is thy Wife as thou callest her to go along with thee Friend said she
Yes to be sure answered he my dear Quaker Sister and took her Hand and
smild And wouldst have me parade it with her on the Road Hay And make
one to grace her Retinue Hay Tell me how thoudst chalk it out if I would
do as thou wouldst have me honest Friend
He clasped his Arms about her and kissed her You are a dear saucy Sister
said he but I must love you Why Ill tell you how Id have it Here shall
you and my Pamela Leave out my I desire you if youd have me sit patiently
No said he I cant do that Here shall you and my Pamela go together in your
Chariot if you please and she will then appear as one of your Retinue and
your Nephew and I will sometimes ride and sometimes go into my Chariot to your
Woman
Shouldst thou like this Creature said she to me If your Ladyship think
it not too great an Honour for me Madam said I Yes replyd she but my
Ladyship does think it would be too great an Honour
Now I think of it said he this must not be neither for without youd
give her the Hand in your own Chariot my Wife would be thought your Woman and
that must not be Why that would maybe said she be the only Inducement for
me to bear her near me in my Chariot But how then Why then when we came
home wed get Lord Davers to come to us and stay a Month or two
And what if he was to come Why I would have you as I know you have a
good Fancy give Pamela your Judgment on some Patterns I expect from London for
Cloaths Provoking Wretch said she now I wish I may keep my Hands to myself
I dont say it to provoke you said he nor ought it to do so But when I tell
you I am marryd Is it not a Consequence that we must have new Cloaths
Hast thou any more of these obliging things to say to me Friend said she
I will make you a Present returnd he worth your Acceptance if you will grace
us with your Company at Church when we make our Appearance Take that said
she if I die fort Wretch that thou art And was going to hit him a great
Slap but he held her Hand Her Kinsman said Dear Aunt I wonder at you why
all these are things of Course
I beggd Leave to withdraw and as I went out my good Master said Theres
a Person Theres a Shape Theres a Sweetness O Lady Davers were you a Man
you would doat on her as I do Yes said the naughty Lady so I should for my
Harlot but not for a Wife I turnd on this and said Indeed your Ladyship is
cruel and well may Gentlemen take Liberties when Ladies of Honour say such
things And I wept and added Your Ladyships Influence if your good Brother
were not the most generous of Men would make me very unhappy
No Fear Wench no Fear said she Thoult hold him as long as any body
can I see that Poor Sally Godfrey never had half the Interest in him Ill
assure you
Stay my Pamela said he in a Passion stay when I bid you You have
heard this Day two vile Charges upon me I love you with such a true
Affection that I ought to say something before this malicious Accuser that you
may not think your consummate Virtue linkd to too black a Villain
Her Nephew seemed uneasy and blamd her much and I came back but trembled
as I stood and he sat me down and said taking my Hand I have been accused
my Dear as a Dueller and now as a Profligate in another Sense and there was
a Time I should not have received these Imputations with so much Concern as I
now do when I would wish by degrees by a Conformity of my Manners to your
Virtue to shew every one the Force your Example has upon me But this briefly
is the Case of the first
I had a Friend who had been basely attempted to be assassinated by Bravoes
hird by a Man of Title in Italy who like many other Persons of Title had no
Honour and at Padua I had the Fortune to disarm one of these Bravoes in my
Friends Defence and made him confess his Employer and him I own I
challengd At Sienna we met and he dyd in a Month after of a Fever but I
hope not occasioned by the slight Wounds he had receivd from me tho I was
obliged to leave Italy upon it sooner than I intended because of his numerous
Relations who looked upon me as the Cause of his Death Tho I pacifyd them by
a Letter I wrote them from Inspruck acquainting them with the Baseness of the
Deceased and they followed me not to Munich as they had intended
This is one of the goodnatured Hints that might shock your Sweetness on
reflecting that you are yoked with a Murderer The other Nay Brother said
she say no more Tis your own Fault if you go further She shall know it all
said he and I defy the utmost Stretch of your Malice
When I was at College I was well received by a Widow Lady who had several
Daughters and but small Fortunes to give them and the old Lady set one of
them a deserving good Girl she was to draw me in to a Marriage with her for
the sake of the Fortune I was Heir to and contrivd many Opportunities to bring
us and leave us together I was not then of Age and the young Lady not half so
artful as her Mother yielded to my Addresses before the Mothers Plot could be
ripend and so utterly disappointed it This my Pamela is the Sally Godfrey
this malicious Woman with the worst Intentions has informd you of And
whatever other Liberties I may have taken for perhaps some more I have which
had she known you had heard of as well as this I desire Heaven will only
forgive me till I revive its Vengeance by the like Offences in Injury to my
Pamela
And now my Dear you may withdraw for this worthy Sister of mine has said
all the Bad she knows of me and what at a proper Opportunity when I could
have convinced you that they were not my Boast but my Concern I should have
acquainted you with myself for I am not fond of being thought better than I
am Tho I hope from the Hour I devoted myself to so much Virtue to that of
my Death my Conduct shall be irreproachable
She was greatly movd at this and the noble Manner in which the dear
Gentleman ownd and repented of his Faults and gushed out into Tears and said
No dont yet go Pamela I beseech you My Passion has carryd me too far a
great deal and coming to me she took my Hand and said You must stay to hear
me beg his Pardon and so took his Hand But to my Concern for I was grieved
for her Ladyships Grief he burst from her and went out of the Parlour into
the Garden in a violent Rage that made me tremble Her Ladyship sat down and
leaned her Head against my Bosom and made my Neck wet with her Tears holding
me by my Hands and I wept for Company Her Kinsman walked up and down the
Parlour in a sad Fret and going out afterwards he came in and said The
Squire has orderd his Chariot to be got ready and wont be spoken to by any
body Where is he said she Walking in the Garden till tis ready replyd he
Well said she I have indeed gone too far I was bewitched And now said
she malicious as he calls me will he not forgive me for a Twelvemonth For I
tell you Pamela if ever you offend he will not easily forgive I was all
delighted tho sad to see her Ladyship so good to me Will you venture said
she to accompany me to him Dare you follow a Lion in his Retreats Ill
attend your Ladyship said I whereever you command Well Wench said she
Pamela I mean thou art very good in the main I should have lovd thee as
well as my Mother did if but tis all over now Indeed you should not have
marryd my Brother But come I must love him Lets find him out And yet will
he now use me worse than a Dog I should not added she have so much
exasperated him For whenever I have I have always had the worst of it He
knows I love him
In this manner her Ladyship talkd to me leaning on my Arm and walked into
the Garden I saw he was still in a Tumult as it were and he took another Walk
to avoid us She calld after him and said Brother Brother Let me speak to
you One Word with you And as we made haste towards him and came near to
him I desire said he That youll not oppress me more with your Follies and
your Violence I have borne too much with you And I will vow for a Twelvemonth
from this Day Hush said she dont vow I beg you for too well will you keep
it I know by Experience if you do You see said she I stoop to ask Pamela to
be my Advocate Sure that will pacify you
Indeed said he I desire to see neither of you on such an Occasion and
let me only be left to myself for I will not be intruded upon thus and was
going away But she said One Word first I desire If youll forgive me
Ill forgive you What said the dear Man haughtily will you forgive me
Why said she for she saw him too angry to mention his Marriage as a Subject
that requird her Pardon I will forgive you all your bad Usage of me this
Day
I will be serious with you Sister said he I wish you most sincerely well
but let us from this Time study so much one another's Quiet as never to come
near one another more Never said she And can you desire this barbarous
Brother can you I can I do said he and I have nothing to do but hide
from you not a Brother but a Murderer and a Profligate unworthy of your
Relation and let me be consignd to Penitence for my past Evils A Penitence
however that shall not be broken in upon by so violent an Accuser
Pamela said he and made me tremble How dare you approach me without
Leave when you see me thus disturbd Never for the future come near me
while I am in these Tumults unless I send for you
Dear Sir said I Leave me interrupted he I will set out for
Bedfordshire this Moment What Sir said I without me What have I done You
have too meanly said he for my Wife stooped to this furious Sister of mine
and till I can recollect I am not pleased with you But Colbrand shall attend
you and two other of my Servants and Mrs Jewkes shall wait upon you part of
the Way And I hope youll find me in a better Disposition to receive you
there than I am at parting with you here
Had I not hoped that this was partly put on to intimidate my Lady I
believe I could not have borne it But it was grievous to me for I saw he was
most sincerely in a Passion
I was afraid said she he would be angry at you as well as me for well do
I know his unreasonable Violence when he is moved But one Word Sir said she
Pardon Pamela if you wont me for she has committed no Offence but that of
Goodnature to me and at my Request I will begone myself directly as I was
about to do had you not prevented me
I prevented you said he thro Love but you have stung me for it thro
Hatred But as for my Pamela I know besides the present Moment I cannot be
angry with her and therefore I desire her never to see me on such Occasions
till I can see her in the Temper I ought to be in when so much Sweetness
approaches me Tis therefore I say my Dearest leave me now
But Sir said I must I leave you and let you go to Bedford without me O
dear Sir how can I Said my Lady You may go tomorrow both of you as you
had designd and I will go away this Afternoon and since I cannot be forgiven
I will try to forget I have a Brother
May I Sir said I beg all your Anger on myself and to be reconciled to
your good Sister Presuming Pamela replyd he and made me start art thou then
so hardy so well able to sustain a Displeasure which of all things I
expected from thy Affection and thy Tenderness thou wouldst have wished to
avoid Now said he and took my Hand and as it were tost it from him
begone from my Presence and reflect upon what you have said to me
I was so frighted for then I saw he took amiss what I said that I took
hold of his Knees as he was turning from me and I said Forgive me good Sir
you see I am not so hardy I cannot bear your Displeasure And was ready to
sink
His Sister said Only forgive Pamela tis all I ask Youll break her
Spirit quite Youll carry your Passion as much too far as I have done I
need not say said he how well I love her but she must not intrude upon me at
such times as these I had intended as soon as I could have quelld by my
Reason the Tumults you had caused by your Violence to have come in and taken
such a Leave of you both as might become a Husband and a Brother but she has
unbidden broken in upon me and must take the Consequence of a Passion which
when raised is as uncontroulable as your own
Said she Did I not love you so well as Sister never loved a Brother I
should not have given you all this Trouble And did I not said he love you
better than you are resolvd to deserve I should be indifferent to all you say
But this last Instance after the Duellingstory which you would not have
mentiond had you not known it is always matter of Concern for me to think
upon of poor Sally Godfrey is a Piece of Spite and Meanness that I can
renounce you my Blood for
Well said she I am convinced it was wrong I am ashamd of it myself
Twas poor twas mean twas unworthy of your Sister And tis for this Reason
I stoop to follow you to beg your Pardon and even to procure for my Advocate
one that I thought had some Interest in you if I might have believed your own
Professions to her which now I shall begin to think made purposely to insult
me
I care not what you think After the Meanness you have been guilty of I
can only look upon you with Pity For indeed you have fallen very low with me
Tis plain I have said she But Ill begone And so Brother let me
call you so this once God bless you And Pamela said her Ladyship God bless
you And kissed me and wept
I durst say no more and my Lady turning from him he said Your Sex is the
Dl how strangely can you discompose calm and turn as you please us poor
Weathercocks of Men Your last kind Blessing to my Pamela I cannot stand Kiss
but each other again And he then took both our Hands and joind them and my
Lady saluting me again with Tears on both sides he put his kind Arms about
each of our Waists and saluted us with great Affection saying Now God bless
you both the two dearest Creatures I have in the World
Well said she you will quite forget my Fault about Miss He stopt her
before she could speak the Name and said For ever forget it And Pamela
Ill forgive you too if you dont again make my Displeasure so light a thing to
you as you did just now
Said my Lady She did not make your Displeasure a light thing to her but
the heavier it was the higher Compliment she made me that she would bear it
all rather than not see you and me reconciled No matter for that said he It
was either an Absence of Thought or a Slight by Implication at least that my
Niceness could not bear from her Tenderness For looked it not presuming that
she could stand my Displeasure or was sure of making her Terms when she
pleasd Which fond as I am of her I assure her will not be always in wilful
Faults in her own Power
Nay said my Lady I can tell you Pamela you have a Gentleman here in my
Brother and you may expect such Treatment from him as that Character and his
known good Sense and Breeding will always oblige him to shew But if you
offend the Lord have Mercy upon you You see how it is by poor me And yet
I never knew him forgive so soon
I am sure said I I will take care as much as I can for I have been
frighted out of my Wits and had offended before I knew where I was
So happily did this Storm blow over and my Lady was quite subdud and
pacifyd When we came out of the Garden his Chariot was ready and he said
Well Sister I had most assuredly gone away towards my other House if things
had not taken this happy Turn and if you please instead of it you and I will
take an Airing And pray my Dear said he to me bid Mrs Jewkes order Supper
by Eight oClock and we shall then join you
Sir added he to her Nephew will you take your Horse and escorte us I
will said he and am glad at my Soul to see you all so good Friends So my
dear lordly Master O my dear Parents he is very dreadful when he pleases I
see But I hope I shall never incur his Anger handed my Lady into his
Chariot and her Kinsman and his Servant rode after them and I went up to my
Closet to ruminate on these things And foolish thing that I am this poor
Miss Sally Godfrey runs in my Head How soon the Name and Quality of a Wife
gives one Privileges in ones own Account Yet methinks I want to know more
about her for is it not strange that I who lived Years in the Family should
have heard nothing of this But I was so constantly with my Lady that I might
the less hear of it for she I dare say never knew it or she would have told
me
But I dare not ask him about the poor Lady Yet I wonder what became of
her Whether she be living And whether any thing came of it Maybe I shall
hear full soon enough But I hope not to any bad Purpose
As to the other unhappy Case I know it was talkd of that in his Travels
before I was taken into the Family long he had one or two Broils and from a
Youth he was always remarkable for Courage and is reckond a great Master of
his Sword God grant he may never be put to use it And that he may be always
preserved in Honour and Safety
About Seven oClock my Master sent word that he would have me not expect him
to Supper For that he and my Lady his Sister and Nephew were prevailed upon
to stay with Lady Jones and that Lady Darnford and Mr Peterss Family had
promised to meet them there I was glad that they did not send for me and the
rather as I hoped those good Families being my Friends would confirm my Lady
a little in my Favour and so I followd my Writing closely
About Eleven oClock they returnd I had but just come down having tird
myself with my Pen and was sitting talking with Mrs Jewkes and Mrs Worden
whom I would tho unwillingly on their Sides make sit down overagainst me
Mrs Worden asked me Pardon in a good deal of Confusion for the Part she had
acted against me saying That Things had been very differently represented to
her and that she little thought I had been marryd and that she was behaving
so rudely to the Lady of the House
I said I took nothing amiss and very freely forgave her and hoped my new
Condition would not make me forget how to behave properly to every one but that
I must endeavour to act not unworthy of it for the Honour of the Gentleman who
had so generously raised me to it
Mrs Jewkes said that my Situation gave me great Opportunities of shewing
the Excellency of my Nature that I could forgive Offences against me so
readily as she for her own Part must always she said acknowledge with
Confusion of Face
People said I Mrs Jewkes dont know how they shall act when their Wills
are in the Power of their Superiors and I always thought one should distinguish
between Acts of Malice and of implicit Obedience tho at the same time a
Person should know how to judge between Lawful and Unlawful And even the Great
continued I tho at present angry they are not obeyd will afterwards have no
ill Opinion of a Person for withstanding them in their unlawful Commands
Mrs Jewkes seemd a little concernd at this and I said I spoke chiefly
from my own Experience for that I might say as they both knew my Story that I
had not wanted both for Menaces and Temptations and had I complyd with the
one or been intimidated by the other I should not have been what I was
Ah Madam said Mrs Jewkes I never knew any body like you And I think
your Temper sweeter since the happy Day than before and that if possible you
take less upon you than before
Why a good Reason said I may be assigned for that I thought myself in
Danger I lookd upon every one as my Enemy and it was impossible that I should
not be fretful uneasy jealous But when my dearest Sir had taken from me the
Ground of my Uneasiness and made me quite happy I should have been very
blameable if I had not shewn a satisfyd and easy Mind and a Temper that should
engage every ones Respect and Love at the same time if possible And so much
the more as it was but justifying in some sort the Honour I had received for
the fewer Enemies I made myself the more I engaged every one to think that my
good Benefactor had been less to blame in descending as he has done
This way of talking pleasd them both very much and they made me many
Compliments upon it and wished me to be always happy as they said I so well
deserved
We were thus engaged when my Master and his Sister and her Nephew came
in And they made me quite alive in the happy Humour in which they all
returnd The two Women would have withdrawn but my Master said Dont go Mrs
Worden Mrs Jewkes pray stay I shall speak to you presently So he came to
me and saluting me said Well my dear Love I hope I have not trespassd upon
your Patience by an Absence longer than we designd But it has not been to
your Disadvantage for tho we had not your Company we have talked of nobody
else but you
My Lady came up to me and said Ay Child you have been all our Subject I
dont know how it is but you have made two or three whole Families in this
Neighbourhood as much your Admirers as your Friend here
My Sister said he has been hearing your Praises Pamela from half a score
Mouths with more Pleasure than her Heart will easily let her express
My good Lady Daverss Favour said I and the Continuance of yours Sir
would give me more Pride than that of all the rest of the World put together
Well Child said she proud Hearts dont come down all at once tho my
Brother here has this Day set mine a good many Pegs lower than I ever knew it
But I will say I wish you Joy with my Brother and so kissed me
My dear Lady said I you for ever oblige me I shall now believe myself
quite happy This was all I wanted to make me so And I hope I shall always
thro my Life shew your Ladyship that I have the most grateful and respectful
Sense of your Goodness
But Child said she I shall not give you my Company when you make your
Appearance Let your own Merit make all your Bedfordshire Neighbours your
Friends as it has done here by your Lincolnshire ones and youll have no need
of my Countenance nor any bodys else
Now said her Nephew tis my Turn I wish you Joy with all my Soul Madam
and by what I have seen and by what I have heard fore Gad I think you have
met with no more than you deserve and so all the Company says where we have
been And pray forgive all my Nonsense to you
Sir said I I shall always I hope respect as I ought so near a Relation
of my good Lord and Lady Davers and I thank you for your kind Compliment
Gad Beck said he I believe youve some Forgiveness too to ask for we
were all to blame to make Madam here fly the Pit as she did Little did we
think we made her quit her own House
Thou always said my Lady sayst too much or too little
Mrs Worden said I have been treated with so much Goodness and
Condescension since you went that I have been beforehand Sir in asking
Pardon for myself
So my Lady sat down with me half an Hour and told me how her Brother had
carryd her a fine Airing and had quite charmd her with his kind Treatment of
her and had much confirmd her in the good Opinion she had begun to entertain
of my discreet and obliging Behaviour But continued she when he would make me
visit without intending to stay my old Neighbours for said she Lady Jones
being nearest we visited her first and she scrapd all the rest of the Company
together they were all so full of your Praises that I was quite borne down
and truly it was Saul among the Prophets
You may believe how much I was delighted with this and I spard not my due
Acknowledgments
When her Ladyship took Leave to go tobed she said Goodnight to you
heartily and to your good Man I kissd you when I came in out of Form but I
now kiss you out of more than Form Ill assure you
Join with me my dear Parents in my Joy for this happy Turn the contrary
of which I so much dreaded and was the only Difficulty I had to labour with
This poor Miss Sally Godfrey I wonder whats become of her poor Soul I wish
he would of his own Head mention her again Not that I am very uneasy
neither Youll say I must be a little saucy if I was
My dear Master gave me an Account when we went up of the Pains he had
taken with his beloved Sister as he himself styled her and of all the kind
Things the good Families had said in my Behalf and that he observd she was not
so much displeasd with hearing them as she was at first when she would not
permit any body to speak of me as his Wife And that my Health as his Spouse
being put when it came to her she drank it but said Come Brother heres
your Pamela to you But I shall not know how to stand this Affair when the
Countess and the young Ladies come to visit me It was with one of those
young Ladies that she was so fond of promoting a Match with her Brother Lady
Betty I know said she will rally me smartly upon it and you know Brother
she wants neither Wit nor Satire He said I hope Lady Betty whenever she
marries will meet with a better Husband than I should have made her for on my
Conscience I think I should hardly have made a tolerable one to any but
Pamela
He told me That they rallied him on the Stateliness of his Temper and
said They saw he would make an exceeding good Husband where he was but it must
be owing to my Meekness more than his Complaisance for said Miss Darnford I
could see well enough when your Ladyship detained her tho he had but hinted
his Desire of finding her at our House he was so out of Humour at her supposed
Noncomplaisance that mine and my Sisters Pity for her was much more engagd
than our Envy
Ay said my Lady he is too lordly a Creature by much and cant bear
Disappointment and never could
Said he Well Lady Davers you should not of all Persons find Fault with
me for I bore a great deal from you before I was at all angry
Yes replyd she but when I had gone a little too far as I own I did you
made me pay for it severely enough You know you did Saucebox And the poor
thing too added she that I took with me for my Advocate so low had he brought
me he treated in such a manner as made my Heart ach for her But part was Art
I know to make me think the better of her
Indeed Sister said he there was very little of that for at that time I
cared not what you thought nor had Complaisance enough to have given a Shilling
for your good or bad Opinion of her or me And I own I was displeased to be
broken in upon after your Provocations by either of you and she must learn
that Lesson never to come near me when I am in those Humours which shall be
as little as possible for after awhile if let alone I always come to
myself and am sorry for the Violence of a Temper so like my dear Sisters here
And for this Reason think it is no matter how few Witnesses I have of its
Intemperance while it lasts especially since every Witness whether they merit
it or not as you see in my Pamelas Case must be a Sufferer by it if unsent
for they come in my Way
He repeated the same Lesson to me again and inforcd it and ownd that he
was angry with me in Earnest just then tho more with himself afterwards for
being so But when Pamela said he you wanted to transfer all my Displeasure
upon yourself it was so much braving me with your Merit as if I must soon end
my Anger if placed there or it was making it so light to you that I was truly
displeased For continued he I cannot bear that you should wish on any
Occasion whatever to have me angry with you or not to value my Displeasure as
the heaviest Misfortune that could befal you
But Sir said I you know that what I did was to try to reconcile my Lady
and as she herself observd it was paying her a high Regard It was so replyd
he but never think of making a Compliment to her or any body living at my
Expence Besides she had behavd herself so intolerably that I began to think
you had stooped too much and more than I ought to permit my Wife to do and
Acts of Meanness are what I cant endure in any body but especially where I
love and as she had been guilty of a very signal one I had much rather have
renounced her at that time than have been reconciled to her
Sir said I I hope I shall always comport myself so as not wilfully to
disoblige you for the future and the rather do I hope this as I am sure I
shall want only to know your Pleasure to obey it But this Instance shews me
that I may much offend without designing it in the least
Now Pamela replyd he dont be too serious I hope I shant be a very
tyrannical Husband to you Yet do I not pretend to be perfect or to be always
governd by Reason in my first Transports and I expect from your Affection
that you will bear with me when you find me wrong I have no ingrateful Spirit
and can when cool enter as impartially into myself as most Men and then I am
always kind and acknowledging in proportion as I have been out of the Way
But to convince you my Dear continued he of your Fault I mean with
regard to the Impetuosity of my Temper for there was no Fault in your
Intention that I acknowledge Ill observe only that you met when you came to
me while I was so out of Humour a Reception you did not expect and a harsh
Word or two that you did not deserve Now had you not broken in upon me while
my Anger lasted but stayd till I had come to you or sent to desire your
Company youd have seen none of this but that affectionate Behaviour that I
doubt not youll always merit and I shall always take Pleasure in expressing
and in this Temper shall you always find a proper Influence over me But you
must not suppose whenever I am out of Humour that in opposing yourself to my
Passion you oppose a proper Butt to it but when you are so good like the
slender Reed to bend to the Hurricane rather than like the sturdy Oak to
resist it you will always stand firm in my kind Opinion while a contrary
Conduct would uproot you with all your Excellencies from my Soul
Sir said I I will endeavour to conform myself in all things to your
Will I make no Doubt but you will And Ill endeavour to make my Will as
conformable to Reason as I can And let me tell you that this Belief of you
is one of the Inducements I have had to marry at all For nobody was more averse
to this State than myself and now were upon this Subject Ill tell you why I
was so averse
We People of Fortune or such as are born to large Expectations of both
Sexes are generally educated wrong You have occasionally touchd upon this
Pamela several times in your Journal so justly that I need say the less to
you We are usually so headstrong so violent in our Wills that we very little
bear Controul
Humourd by our Nurses thro the Faults of our Parents we practise first
upon them and shew the Gratitude of our Dispositions in an Insolence that
ought rather to be checkd and restraind than encouraged
Next we are to be indulged in every thing at School and our Masters and
Mistresses are rewarded with further grateful instances of our boisterous
Behaviour
But in our wise Parents Eyes all looks well all is forgiven and excusd
and for no other Reason but because we are Theirs
Our next Progression is we exercise our Spirits when brought home to the
Torment and Regret of our Parents themselves and torture their Hearts by our
undutiful and perverse Behaviour to them which however ingrateful in us, is
but the natural Consequence of their culpable Indulgence to us from Infancy
upwards
And then next after we have perhaps half broken their Hearts a Wife is
lookd out for Convenience or Birth and Fortune are the first Motives
Affection the last if it is at all consulted And two People thus educated
thus trained up in a Course of unnatural Ingratitude and who have been
headstrong Torments to every one who has had a Share in their Education as well
as to those to whom they owe their Being are brought together and what can be
expected but that they should pursue and carry on the same comfortable
Conduct in Matrimony and join most heartily to plague one another? And in
some measure indeed this is right because hereby they revenge the Cause of
all those who have been aggrieved and insulted by them upon one another.
The Gentleman has never been controuled The Lady has never been
contradicted
He cannot bear it from one whose new Relation he thinks should oblige her
to shew a quite contrary Conduct
She thinks it very barbarous now for the first time to be opposed by a
Man from whom she expected nothing but Tenderness
So great is the Difference between what they both expect from one another,
and what they both find in each other that no wonder Misunderstandings happen
that these ripen to Quarrels that Acts of Unkindness pass which even had the
first Motive to their Union been Affection as usually it is not would have
effaced all manner of tender Impressions on both sides
Appeals to Parents or Guardians often ensue If by Mediation of Friends a
Reconciliation takes place, it hardly ever holds for why The Fault is in the
Minds of both and neither of them will think so so that the Wound not
permitted to be probed is but skinnd over and rankles still at the Bottom
and at last breaks out with more Pain and Anguish than before Separate Beds are
often the Consequence perhaps Elopements if not an unconquerable
Indifference possibly Aversion And whenever for Appearancesake they are
obliged to be together every one sees that the yawning Husband and the
vapourish Wife are truly insupportable to one another; but separate have
freer Spirits and can be tolerable Company
Now my Dear I would have you think and I hope you will have no other
Reason that had I marryd the first Lady in the Land I would not have treated
her better than I will my Pamela For my Wife is my Wife and I was the longer
in resolving on the State because I knew its Requisites and doubted my Conduct
in it
I believe I am more nice than many Gentlemen but it is because I have been
a close Observer of the Behaviour of wedded Folks and hardly have ever seen it
to be such as I could like in my own Case I shall possibly give you
Instances of a more particular Nature of this as we are longer and perhaps
I might say better acquainted
Had I marryd with the Views of most Gentlemen and with such as my good
Sister supplying the Place of my Father and Mother would have recommended I
had wedded a fine Lady brought up pretty much in my own Manner and used to
have her Will in every thing
Some Gentlemen can come into a Compromise and after a few Struggles sit
down tolerably contented But had I marryd a Princess I could not have done
so I must have loved her exceedingly well before I had consented to knit the
Knot with her and preferrd her to all her Sex for without this Pamela
Indifferences if not Disgust will arise in every wedded Life that could not
have made me happy at home and there are fewer Instances I believe of Mens
loving better after Matrimony than of Womens the Reasons of which tis not my
present Purpose to account for
Then I must have been morally sure that she preferrd me to all Men and
to convince me of this she must have lessend not aggravated my Failings she
must have borne with my Imperfections she must have watchd and studyd my
Temper and if ever she had any Points to carry any Desire of overcoming it
must have been by Sweetness and Complaisance and yet not such a slavish one as
should make her Condescension seem to be rather the Effect of her Insensibility
than Judgment or Affection
She should not have given Cause for any Part of my Conduct to her to wear
the least Aspect of Compulsion or Force The Word Command on my Side or
Obedience on hers I would have blotted from my Vocabulary For this Reason I
should have thought it my Duty to have desired nothing of her that was not
significant reasonable or just and that then she should on hers have shewn
no Reluctance Uneasiness or Doubt to oblige me even at half a Word
I would not have excusd her to let me twice injoin the same thing while I
took such care to make her Compliance with me reasonable and such as should not
destroy her own free Agency in Points that ought to be allowd her And if I
was not always right that yet she would bear with me if she saw me set upon
it and expostulate with me on the right side of Compliance for that would shew
me supposing small Points in Dispute from which the greatest Quarrels among
Friends generally arise that she differd from me not for Contradictionsake
but desird to convince me for my own and that I should another time take
better Resolutions
This would be so obliging a Conduct that I should in Justice have doubled
my Esteem for one who to humour me could give up her own Judgment and I
should see she could have no other View in her Expostulations after her
Compliance had passed than to rectify my Notions for the future and it would
have been impossible then but I must have paid the greater Deference to her
Opinion and Advice in more momentous Matters
In all Companies she must have shewn that she had whether I deserved it
altogether or not a high Regard and Opinion of me and this the rather as
that such a Conduct in her would be a Reputation and Security to herself for
if ever we Rakes attempt a marryd Lady our first Encouragement exclusive of
our own Vanity arises from the indifferent Opinion Slight or Contempt she
expresses for her Husband
That therefore she would draw a kind Veil over my Faults that such as she
could not hide she would extenuate That she would place my better Actions in
an advantageous Light and shew that I had her good Opinion at least whatever
Liberties the World took with my Character
She must have valued my Friends for my sake been chearful and easy
whomever I had brought home with me and whatever Faults she had observed in me
have never blamed me before Company at least with such an Air of Superiority
as should have shewn she had a better Opinion of her own Judgment than mine
Now my Pamela this is but a faint Sketch of the Conduct I must have
expected from my Wife let her Quality have been what it would or have lived
with her on bad Terms Judge then if to me a Lady of the modish Taste could
have been tolerable
The Perverseness and Contradiction I have too often seen in some of my
Visits even among People of Sense, as well as Condition had prejudiced me to
the marryd State and as I knew I could not bear it surely I was in the right
to decline it and you see my Dear that I have not gone among this Class of
People for a Wife nor know I indeed where in any Class I could have sought
one or had one suitable to my Mind if not you For here is my Misfortune I
could not have been contented to have been but moderately happy in a Wife
Judge you from all this if I could very well bear that you should think
yourself so well securd of my Affection that you could take the Faults of
others upon yourself and by a supposed supererogatory Merit think your
Interposition sufficient to atone for the Faults of others
Yet am I not perfect myself No I am greatly imperfect Yet will I not
allow that my Imperfections shall excuse those of my Wife or make her think I
ought to bear Faults in her that she can rectify because she bears greater
from me
Upon the Whole I may expect that you will bear with me and study my
Temper till and only till you see I am capable of returning Insult for
Obligation and till you think that I shall be of a gentler Deportment if I am
roughly used than otherwise One thing more I will add That I should scorn
myself if there was one Privilege of your Sex that a Princess might expect as
my Wife to be indulgd in that I would not allow to my Pamela For you are the
Wife of my Affections I never wishd for one before you nor ever do I hope to
have another
I hope Sir said I my future Conduct Pardon me said he my Dear for
interrupting you but it is to assure you that I am so well convincd of your
affectionate Regards for me that I know I might have spared the greatest Part
of what I have said And indeed it must be very bad for both of us if I should
have Reason to think it necessary to say so much But one thing has brought on
another and I have rather spoken what my Niceness has made me observe in other
Families than what I fear in my own And therefore let me assure you I am
thoroughly satisfyd with your Conduct hitherto You shall have no Occasion to
repent it And you shall find tho greatly imperfect and passionate on
particular Provocations which yet I will try to overcome that you have not a
brutal or ungenerous Husband who is capable of offering Insult for
Condescension or returning Evil for Good
I thankd him for these kind Rules and generous Assurances and assured
him that they had made so much Impression on my Mind that these and his most
agreeable Injunctions before given me and such as he should hereafter be
pleased to give me should be so many Rules for my future Conduct
And I am glad of the Method I have taken of making a Journal of all that
passes in these first Stages of my Happiness because it will sink the
Impression still deeper and I shall have recourse to them for my better
Regulation as often as I shall mistrust my Memory
Let me see What are the Rules I am to observe from this awful Lecture Why
these
1 That I must not when he is in great Wrath with any body break in upon him
without his Leave Well Ill remember it I warrant But yet I fansy this
Rule is almost peculiar to himself
2 That I must think his Displeasure the heaviest thing that can befal me
To be sure I shall
3 And so that I must not wish to incur it to save any body else Ill be
further if I do
4 That I must never make a Compliment to any body at his Expence
5 That I must not be guilty of any Acts of wilful Meanness There is a
great deal meant in this and Ill endeavour to observe it all To be sure the
Occasion on which he mentions this explains it that I must say nothing tho
in Anger that is spiteful or malicious that is disrespectful or undutiful and
suchlike
6 That I must bear with him even when I find him in the wrong This is a
little hard as the Case may be
I wonder whether poor Miss Sally Godfrey be living or dead
7 That I must be as flexible as the Reed in the Fable lest by resisting
the Tempest like the Oak I be torn up by the Roots Well Ill do the best I
can There is no great Likelihood I hope I should be too perverse yet
sure the Tempest will not lay me quite level with the Ground neither
8 That the Education of young People of Condition is generally wrong
Memorandum That if any Part of Childrens Education fall to my Lot I never
indulge or humour them in things that they ought to be restraind in
9 That I accustom them to bear Disappointments and Controul
10 That I suffer them not to be too much indulged in their Infancy
11 Nor at School
12 Nor spoil them when they come home
13 For that Children generally extend their Perverseness from the Nurse to
the Schoolmaster from the Schoolmaster to the Parents
14 And in their next Step as a proper Punishment for all make their own
Selves unhappy
15 That undutiful and perverse Children make bad Husbands and Wives And
collaterally bad Masters and Mistresses
16 That not being subject to be controuled early they cannot when
marryd bear one another.
17 That the Fault lying deep and in the Minds of each neither will mend
it
18 Whence follow Misunderstandings Quarrels Appeals ineffectual
Reconciliations Separations Elopements or at best Indifference perhaps
Aversion Memorandum A good Image of unhappy Wedlock in the Words YAWNING
HUSBAND and VAPOURISH WIFE when together But separate both quite alive
19 Few marryd Persons behave as he likes Let me ponder this with Awe
and Improvement
20 Some Gentlemen can compromise with their Wives for Quietnesssake but
he cant Indeed I believe thats true I dont desire he should
21 That Love before Marriage is absolutely necessary
22 That there are fewer Instances of Mens than Womens loving better after
Marriage But why so I wish he had given his Reasons for this I fansy they
would not have been to the Advantage of his own Sex
23 That a Woman gives her Husband Reason to think she prefers him before
all Men Well to be sure this should be so
24 That if she would overcome it must be by Sweetness and Complaisance
that is by yielding he means no doubt
25 Yet not such a slavish one neither as should rather seem the Effect of
her Insensibility than Judgment or Affection
26 That the Words COMMAND and OBEY shall be blotted out of his Vocabulary
Very good
27 That a Man should desire nothing of his Wife but what is significant
reasonable just To be sure that is right
28 But then that she must not shew Reluctance Uneasiness or Doubt to
oblige him and that too at half a Word and must not be bid twice to do one
thing But may not there be some Occasions where this may be a little
dispensd with But he says afterwards indeed
29 That this must be only while he took care to make her Compliance
reasonable and consistent with her free Agency in Points that ought to be
allowd her Come this is pretty well considering
30 That if the Husband be set upon a wrong Thing she must not dispute with
him but do it and expostulate afterwards Goodsirs I dont know what to
say to this It looks a little hard methinks This would bear a smart
Debate I fansy in a Parliament of Women But then he says
31 Supposing they are only small Points that are in Dispute Well this
mends it a little For small Points I think should not be stood upon
32 That the greatest Quarrels among Friends and Wives and Husbands are or
should be Friends arise from small Matters I believe this is very true for
I had like to have had Anger here when I intended very well
33 That a Wife should not desire to convince her Husband for CONTRADICTION
sake but for HIS OWN As both will find their Account in this if one does I
believe tis very just
34 That in all Companies a Wife must shew Respect and Love to her Husband
35 And this for the sake of her own Reputation and Security for
36 That Rakes cannot have a greater Encouragement to attempt a marryd
Ladys Virtue than her slight Opinion of her Husband To be sure this stands
to Reason and is a fine Lesson
37 That a Wife should therefore draw a kind Veil over her Husbands Faults
38 That such as she could not conceal she should extenuate
39 That his Virtues she should place in an Advantageous Light
40 And shew the World that he had HER good Opinion at least
41 That she must value his Friends for his sake
42 That she must be chearful and easy in her Behaviour to whomsoever he
brings home with him
43 That whatever Faults she sees in him she never blames him before
Company
44 At least with such an Air of Superiority as if she had a less Opinion
of his Judgment than her own
45 That a Man of nice Observation cannot be contented to be only moderately
happy in a Wife
46 That a Wife take care how she ascribe supererogatory Merit to herself
so as to take the Faults of others upon her Indeed I think it is well if we
can bear our own This is of the same Nature with the Third And touches upon me
on the present Occasion for this wholsome Lecture
47 That his Imperfections must not be a Plea for hers To be sure tis no
matter how good the Women are but tis to be hoped Men will allow a little
But indeed he says
48 That a Husband who expects all this is to be incapable of returning
Insult for Obligation or Evil for Good and ought not to abridge her of any
Privilege of her Sex
Well my dear Parents I think this last Rule crowns the rest and makes them
all very tolerable and a generous Man and a Man of Sense, cannot be too much
obliged And as I have this Happiness I shall be very unworthy if I do not
always so think and so act
Yet after all youll see I have not the easiest Task in the World But I
know my own Intentions that I shall not wilfully err and so fear the less
Not one Hint did he give that I durst lay hold of about poor Miss Sally
Godfrey I wish my Lady had not spoken of it For it has given me a Curiosity
that is not quite so pretty in me especially so early in my Nuptials and in a
Case so long ago past Yet he intimated too to his Sister that he had had
other Faults of this Sort I suppose that had not come to her Knowledge
But I make no Doubt he has seen his Error and will be very good for the
future I wish it and pray it may be so for his own dear sake
Wednesday the Seventh
When I arose in the Morning I went to wait on Lady Davers seeing her Door
open and she was in Bed but awake and talking to her Woman I said I hope I
dont disturb your Ladyship No not at all said she I am glad to see you How
do you Well added she when do you set out for Bedfordshire I said I cant
tell Madam It was designd as today but I have heard no more of it
Sit down said she on the Bedside I find by the Talk we had Yesterday
and last Night you have had but a poor Time of it Pamela I must call you so
yet said she since you was brought to this House till within these few Days
And Mrs Jewkes too has given Beck such an Account as makes me pity you
Indeed Madam said I if your Ladyship knew all you would pity me for
never poor Creature was so hard put to it But I ought to forget it all now and
be thankful
Why said she as far as I can find tis a Mercy you are here now I was
sadly moved with some part of your Story And you have really made a noble
Defence and deserve the Praises of all our Sex
It was God enabled me Madam replyd I Why said she tis the more
extraordinary because I believe if the Truth was known you lovd the Wretch
not a little While my Trials lasted Madam said I I had not a Thought of any
thing, but to preserve my Innocence much less of Love
But tell me truly said she Did you not love him all the time I had
always Madam answerd I a great Reverence for my Master and thought all his
good Actions doubly good and for his naughty ones tho I abhorrd his Attempts
upon me yet I could not hate him and always wishd him well but I did not
know that it was Love Indeed I had not the Presumption
Sweet Girl said she thats prettily said But when he found he could not
gain his Ends and begun to be sorry for your Sufferings and to admire your
Virtue and to profess honourable Love to you What did you think
Think and please your Ladyship I did not know what to think I could
neither hope nor believe so great an Honour would fall to my Lot and I feard
more from his Kindness for some time than I had done from his Unkindness And
having had a private Intimation from a kind Friend of a Shammarriage
intended by means of a Man who was to personate a Minister it kept my Mind in
too much Suspense to be greatly overjoyd at his kind Declaration
Said she I think he did make two or three Attempts upon you in
Bedfordshire Yes Madam said I he was very naughty to be sure
And here he proposed Articles to you I understand Yes Madam replyd I
but I abhorrd so much the Thoughts of being a kept Creature that I rejected
them with great Boldness and was resolved to die before I would consent to
them
He afterwards attempted you I think Did he not O yes Madam said I a
most sad Attempt he made and I had like to have been lost for Mrs Jewkes was
not so good as she should have been And so I told her Ladyship that sad Offer
and how I fell into Fits and that they believing me dying forbore Any
Attempts after this base one said she
He was not so good as he should have been returnd I once in the Garden
afterwards but I was so watchful and so ready to take the Alarm
But said she did he not threaten you at times and put on his stern Airs
every nowandthen Threaten Madam replyd I yes I had enough of that I
thought I should have dyd for Fear several times How could you bear that
said she For he is a most daring and majestick Mortal He has none of your puny
Hearts but as courageous as a Lion and Boy and Man never feard any thing. I
myself said she have a pretty good Spirit but when I have made him truly
angry I have always been forced to make it up with him as well as I could
For Child he is not one that is easily reconciled Ill assure you
But after he had professd honourable Love to you Did he never attempt you
again No indeed Madam he did not But he was a good while struggling with
himself and with his Pride as he called it before he could stoop so low and
considerd and considerd again And once upon my saying but two or three
Words that displeasd him when he was very kind to me he turnd me out of
Doors in a manner at an Hours Warning for he sent me above a Days Journey
towards my Fathers and then sent a Man and Horse Posthaste to fetch me back
again and has been exceedingly kind and gracious to me ever since and made me
happy
That sending you away said she one Hour and sending after you the next
is exactly like my Brother and tis well if he dont turn you off twice or
thrice before a Year come about if you vex him And he would have done the same
by the first Lady in the Land if he had been marryd to her Yet has he his
Virtues as well as his Faults for he is generous nay he is noble in his
Spirit hates little dirty Actions he delights in doing Good But does not pass
over a wilful Fault easily He is wise prudent sober and magnanimous and will
not tell a Lye nor disguise his Faults but you must not expect to have him all
to yourself I doubt
But Ill no more harp upon this String You see how he was exasperated at
me and he seemd to be angry at you too tho something of it was Art I
believe
Indeed Madam said I he has been pleased to give me a most noble Lecture
and I find he was angry with me in Earnest and that it will not be an easy Task
to behave unexceptionably to him For he is very nice and delicate in his
Notions I perceive but yet as your Ladyship says exceeding generous
Well says she Im glad thou hadst a little bit of his Anger else I should
have thought it Art and I dont love to be treated with low Art any more than
he and I should have been vexd if he had done it by me
But I understand Child says she that you keep a Journal of all Matters
that pass and he has several times found means to get at it Should you care I
should see it It could not be to your Disadvantage for I find it had no small
Weight with him in your Favour and I should take great Pleasure to read all his
Stratagems Attempts Contrivances Menaces and Offers to you on one hand and
all your pretty Counterplottings which he much praises your resolute
Resistance and the noble Stand you have made to preserve your Virtue and the
Steps by which his Pride was subdued and his Mind induced to honourable Love
till you were made what you now are For it must be a rare an uncommon Story
and will not only give me great Pleasure in reading but will intirely reconcile
me to the Step he has taken And that let me tell you is what I never thought
to be for I had gone a great way in bringing about a Match with him and Lady
Betty and had said so much of it that the Earl her Father approvd of it
and so did the Duke of her Uncle and Lady Betty herself was not averse And
now shall I be hunted to Death about it and this has made me so outrageous as
you have seen me upon the Matter But when I can find by your Writings that
your Virtue is but suitably rewarded it will be not only a good Excuse for me
but for him and make me love you
There is nothing that I would not do said I to oblige your Ladyship but
my poor Father and Mother who would rather have seen me buried quick in the
Earth than to be seduced by the greatest of Princes have them in their Hands
at present and your dear Brother has bespoken them when they have done reading
them but if he gives me Leave I will shew them to your Ladyship with all my
Heart not doubting your generous Allowances as I have had his tho I have
treated him very freely all the way while he had naughty Views and that your
Ladyship would consider them as the naked Sentiments of my Heart from Time to
Time deliverd to those whose Indulgence I was sure of and for whose Sight
only they were written
Give me a Kiss now said her Ladyship for your chearful Compliance for I
make no doubt my Brother will consent I shall see them because they must needs
make for your Honour and I see he loves you better than any one in the World
I have heard continued her Ladyship a mighty good Character of your
Parents as industrious honest sensible good Folks who know the World and
as I doubt not my Brothers Generosity I am glad they will make no ill Figure
in the Worlds Eye
Madam said I they are the honestest the lovingest and the most
conscientious Couple breathing They once lived creditably brought up a great
Family of which I am the youngest but had Misfortunes thro their doing
beyond their Power for two unhappy Brothers who are both dead and whose Debts
they stood bound for and so became reduced and by harsh Creditors where
most of the Debts were not of their own contracting turnd out of all and
having without Success tryd to set up a little Country School for my Father
understood a little of Accompts and wrote a pretty good Hand forced to take to
hard Labour but honest all the Time contented never repining and loving to
one another; and in the midst of their Poverty and Disappointments above all
Temptation and all their Fear was that I should be wicked and yield to
Temptation for the sake of worldly Riches And to Gods Grace and their good
Lessons and those I imbibd from my dear good Lady your Ladyships Mother it
is that I owe the Preservation of my Innocence and the happy Station I now am
exalted to
She was pleased to kiss me again and said There is such a noble Simplicity
in thy Story such an honest Artlesness in thy Mind and such a sweet Humility
in thy Deportment notwithstanding thy present Station that I believe I shall
be forced to love thee whether I will or not And the Sight of your Papers I
dare say will crown the Work will disarm my Pride banish my Resentment on
Lady Bettys account and justify my Brothers Conduct and at the same time
redound to your own everlasting Honour as well as to the Credit of our Sex And
so I make no doubt but my Brother will let me see them
Mrs Worden said my Lady I can say any thing before you and you will take
no Notice of our Conversation but I see you are much touched with it Did you
ever hear any thing prettier more unaffected sincere free easy No never
Madam answerd she in my Life and it is a great Pleasure to see so happy a
Reconciliation taking Place where there is so much Merit
I said I have discoverd so much Prudence in Mrs Worden that as well for
that as for the Confidence your Ladyship places in her I have made no Scruple
of speaking my Mind freely before her and of blaming my dear Master while he
was blameworthy as well as acknowledging his transcendent Goodness to me
since which I am sure exceeds all I can ever deserve Maybe not said my
Lady I hope youll be very happy in one another; and Ill now rise and tell
him my Thoughts and ask him to let me have the reading of your Papers for I
promise myself much Pleasure in them and shall not grudge a Journey and a
Visit to you to the other House to fetch them
Your Ladyships Favour said I was all I had to wish for and if I have
that and the Continuance of your dear Brothers Goodness to me I shall be easy
under whatever else may happen
And so I took my Leave and withdrew and she let me hear her say to Mrs
Worden Tis a charming Creature Mrs Worden I know not which excels her
Person or her Mind And so young a Creature too Well may my Brother love
her
I am afraid my dear Father and Mother I shall now be too proud indeed I
had once a good mind to have asked her Ladyship about Miss Sally Godfrey but I
thought it was better let alone as she did not mention it herself Maybe I
shall hear it too soon But I hope not I wonder tho whether she be living
or dead
We breakfasted together with great good Temper and my Lady was very kind
and asking my good Master he gave Leave very readily she should see all my
Papers when you returnd them to me and he said He was sure when she came to
read them she would say that I had well deservd the Fortune I had met with
and would be of Opinion that all the Kindness of his future Life would hardly
be a sufficient Reward for my Virtue and make me Amends for my Sufferings
My Lady resolving to set out the next Morning to return to her Lord my Master
orderd every thing to be made ready for his doing the like to Bedfordshire
and this Evening our good Neighbours will sup with us to take Leave of my Lady
and us
Wednesday Night
Nothing particular having passed at Dinner and Supper but the most
condescending Goodness on my Ladys side to me and the highest Civilities
from Mr Peterss Family from Lady Jones from Sir Simons Family etc and
reciprocal good Wishes all round and a Promise obtaind from my Benefactor
that he would endeavour to pass a Fortnight or three Weeks in these Parts
before the Winter set in I shall conclude this Day with observing that I
disposed of the Money my Master was so good to put into my Hands in the Method
he was pleased to direct and I gave Mrs Jewkes hers in such a manner as
highly pleased her and she wished me with Tears all kind of Happiness and
prayd me to forgive her all her past Wickedness to me as she herself called
it I beggd Leave of my Master to present Mrs Worden with Five Guineas for a
Pair of Gloves which he said was well thought of
Saturday
On Thursday Morning my Lady set out for her own Seat and my good Sir and I
attended by Mr Colbrand Abraham and Thomas for this dear House Her Ladyship
parted with her Brother and me with great Tenderness and made me promise to
send her my Papers which I find she intends to entertain Lady Betty with and
another Lady or two her Intimates as also her Lord and hopes to find as I
believe in the Reading of them some Excuse for her Brothers Choice
My dearest Master has been all Love and Tenderness on the Road as he is in
every Place and on every Occasion And Oh what a delightful Change was this
Journey to that which so contrary to all my Wishes and so much to my
Apprehensions carryd me hence to the Lincolnshire House And how did I bless
God at every Turn and at every Stage
We did not arrive here till yesterday Noon Abraham rode before to let them
know we were coming And I had the Satisfaction to find every body there I
wished to see When the Chariot enterd the Courtyard I was so strongly
impressd with the Favour and Mercies of God Almighty on remembring how I was
sent away the last time I saw this House the Leave I took the Dangers I had
encounterd a poor castoff Servant Girl and now returning a joyful Wife and
the Mistress thro his Favour of the noble House I was turnd out of that I
was hardly able to support the Joy I felt in my Mind on the Occasion He saw how
much I was moved and tenderly askd me why I seemd so affected I told him
and lifted his dear Hand to my Lips and said O Sir Gods Mercies and your
Goodness to me on entering this dear dear Place are above my Expression I
can hardly bear the Thoughts of them He said Welcome thrice welcome Joy of
my Life to your own House And kissed my Hand in Return All the common
Servants stood at the Windows as unseen as they could to observe us He took
my Hand with the most condescending Goodness in the World and with great
Complaisance led me into the Parlour and kissed me with the greatest Ardour
Welcome again my dearest Spouse said he a thousand times welcome to the
Possession of a House that is not more mine than yours
I threw myself at his Feet Permit me dear Sir thus to bless God and
thank you for all his Mercies and your Goodness O may I so behave as not to
be utterly unworthy and then how happy shall I be God give me my Dearest
said he Life and Health to reward all your Sweetness And no Man can be then so
blest as I
Where said he to Abraham who passed by the Door Where is Mrs Jervis
She bolted in Here good Sir said she here good Madam am I waiting
impatiently till called for to congratulate you both I ran to her and
claspd my Arms about her Neck and kissed her O my dear Mrs Jervis said I
my other dear Mother receive your happy happy Pamela And join with me to
bless God and bless our Master for all these great Things I was ready to
sink into her Arms thro Excess of Joy to see the dear good Woman who had been
so often a mournful Witness of my Distress as now of my Triumph Dearest
Madam said she you do me too much Honour Let my whole Life shew the Joy I
take in your deservd good Fortune and in my Duty to you for the early
Instance I received of your Goodness in your kind Letter O Mrs Jervis
replyd I There all Thanks are due both from you and me For our dear Master
granted me this Blessing as I may justly call it the very first Moment I
beggd it of him Your Goodness Sir said she I will for ever acknowledge and
I beg Pardon for the wrong Step I made in applying to my Lady Davers He was
so good as to salute her and said Alls over now Mrs Jervis and I shall not
remember you ever disobligd me I always respected you and shall now more and
more value you for the sake of that dear good Creature that with Joy
unfeignd I can call my Wife God bless your Honour for ever said she and
many many happy Years may ye live together the Envy and Wonder of all who know
you
But where said my dear Master is honest Longman and where is Jonathan
Come Mrs Jervis said I you shall shew me them and all the good Folks
presently and let me go up with you to behold the dear Apartments which I have
seen before with such different Emotions to what I shall now do
We went up and in every Room the Chamber I took Refuge in when my Master
pursud me my Ladys Chamber her Dressingroom Mrs Jerviss Room not
forgetting her Closet my own little Bedchamber the Greenroom and in each of
the others I kneeled down severally and blessed God for my past Escapes and
present Happiness and the good Woman was quite affected with the Zeal and
Pleasure with which I made my thankful Acknowledgments to the Divine Goodness O
my excellent Lady said she you are still the same good pious humble Soul I
knew you and your Marriage has added to your Graces as I hope it will to your
Blessings
Dear Mrs Jervis said I you know not what I have gone thro You know not
what God has done for me You know not what a happy Creature I am now I have a
thousand thousand things to tell you and a whole Week would be too little
every Moment of it spent in relating to you what has befallen me to make you
acquainted with it all We shall be sweetly happy together I make no doubt But
I charge you my dear Mrs Jervis whatever you call me before Strangers that
when we are by ourselves you call me nothing but your Pamela For what an
ingrateful Creature should I be who have receivd so many Mercies at the Hand
of God if I attributed them not to his Divine Goodness but assumed to myself
insolent Airs upon them No I hope I shall be more and more thankful as I am
more and more blest and more humble as God the Author of all my Happiness
shall more distinguish me
We went down again to the Parlour to my dear Master Said he Call in again
Mr Longman he longs to see you my Dear He came in God bless you my sweet
Lady said he as now God be praised I may call you Did I not tell you
Madam that Providence would find you out O Mr Longman said I God be
praised for all his Mercies I am rejoiced to see you and I laid my Hand on
his and said Good Mr Longman how do you do I must always value you and
you dont know how much of my present Happiness I owe to the Sheets of Paper
and Pens and Ink you furnishd me with I hope my dear Sir and you are quite
reconciled O Madam said he how good you are Why I cannot contain myself
for Joy and then he wiped his Eyes good Man
Said my Master Yes I have been telling Mr Longman that I am obliged to
him for his ready Return to me and that I will intirely forget his Appeal to
Lady Davers and I hope hell find himself quite as easy and happy as he wishes
My Partner here Mr Longman I dare promise you will do all she can to make
you so God bless you both together said he Tis the Pride of my Heart to see
this I returnd with double Delight when I heard the blessed News and I am
sure Sir said he mark old Longmans Words God will bless you for this every
Year more and more You dont know how many Hearts you have made happy by this
generous Deed I am glad of it said my dear Master I am sure I have made my
own happy And Mr Longman tho I must think you SOMEBODY yet as you are not
a young Man and so wont make me jealous I can allow you to wish my dear Wife
Joy in the tenderest manner Adad Sir said he I am sure you rejoice me with
your Favour Twas what I longd for but durst not presume My Dear said my
Master receive the Compliment of one of the honestest Hearts in England that
always reverd your Virtues And the good Man saluted me with great Respect
and said God in Heaven bless you both and kneeled on one Knee I must quit
your Presence Indeed I must And away he went
Your Goodness Sir said I knows no Bounds O may my Gratitude never find
any I saw said my Master when the good Man approachd you that he did it
with so much Awe and Love mingled together that I fansied he longd to salute
my Angel and I could not but indulge his honest Heart How blessd am I said
I and kissd his Hand And indeed I make nothing now of kissing his dear Hand
as if it was my own
When honest old Mr Jonathan came in to attend at Dinner so clean so
sleek and so neat as he always is with his silver Hair I said Well Mr
Jonathan how do you I am glad to see you You look as well as ever thank
God O dear Madam said he better than ever to have such a blessed Sight
God bless you and my good Master and I hope Sir said he youll excuse all
my past Failings Ay that I will Jonathan said he because you never had any
but what your Regard for my dear Spouse here was the Occasion of And now I can
tell you you can never err because you cannot respect her too much O Sir
said he your Honour is exceeding good Im sure I shall always pray for you
both
After Dinner Mr Longman coming in and talking of some Affairs under his
Care he said afterwards All your Honours Servants are now happy for Robert
who left you had a pretty little Fortune fallen to him or he never would have
quitted your Service He was here but Yesterday to enquire when you and my Lady
returnd hither and hopd he might have Leave to pay his Duty to you both Ay
said my Master I shall be glad to see honest Robin for thats another of your
Favourites Pamela It was high time I think I should marry you were it but
to engage the Respects of all my Family to myself There are Sir said I ten
thousand Reasons why I should rejoice in your Goodness
But I was going to say said Mr Longman That all your Honours old
Servants are now happy but one You mean John Arnold said my Master I do
indeed said he if youll excuse me Sir O said I I have had my Prayer for
poor John answerd as favourably as I could wish Why said Mr Longman to
be sure poor John has acted no very good Part take it all together but he so
much honourd you Sir and so much respected you Madam that he would have
been glad to have been obedient to both and so was faithful to neither But
indeed the poor Fellows Hearts almost broke and he wont look out for any
other Place and says he must live in your Honours Service or he must die
wretched very shortly Mrs Jervis was there when this was said Indeed says
she the poor Man has been here every Day since he heard the Tidings that have
rejoiced us all and he says he hopes he shall yet be forgiven Is he in the
House now said my Master He is Sir and was here when your Honour came in
and playd at hideandseek to have one Look at you both when you alighted and
was ready to go out of his Wits for Joy when he saw your Honour hand my Lady
in Pamela said my dear Master youre to do with John as you please You have
full Power Then pray Sir said I let poor John come in
The poor Fellow came in with so much Confusion that I have never seen a
Countenance that expressd so lively Consciousness of his Faults and mingled
Joy and Shame How do you do John said I I hope youre very well The poor
Fellow could hardly speak and lookd with Awe upon my Master and Pleasure upon
me Said my Master Well John there is no room to say any thing to a Man that
has so much Concern already I am told you will serve me whether I will or not
but I turn you over altogether to my Spouse here And she is to do by you as she
pleases You see John said I your good Masters Indulgence Well may I
forgive that have so generous an Example I was always persuaded of your honest
Intentions if you had known how to distinguish between your Duty to your
Master and your Goodwill to me You will now have no more Puzzles on that
Account from the Goodness of your dear Master I shall be but too happy said
the poor Man God bless your Honour God bless you Madam I now have the Joy
of my Soul in serving you both and I will make the best of Servants to my
Power Well then John said I your Wages will go on as if you had not left
your Master May I not say so Sir said I Yes surely my Dear replyd he
and augment them too if you find his Duty to you deserves it A thousand
Million of Thanks said the poor Man I am very well satisfyd and desire no
Augmentation and so he withdrew overjoyd and Mrs Jervis and Mr Longman were
highly pleasd for tho they were incensd against him for his Fault to me
when Matters lookd badly for me yet they and all his Fellowservants always
lovd John
When Mr Longman and Mrs Jervis had dind they came in again to know if
he had any Commands and my dear Master filling a Glass of Wine said Mr
Longman I am going to toast the happiest and honestest Couple in England my
dear Pamelas Father and Mother Thank you dear Sir said I
Said he I think that little Kentish Purchase wants a Manager and as it is
a little out of your Way Mr Longman I have been purposing if I thought Mr
Andrews would accept of it that he should enter upon Hodgess Farm that was
and so manage for me that whole little Affair and we will well stock the Farm
for him and make it comfortable and I think if he will take that Trouble upon
him it will be an Ease to you and a Favour to me
Your Honour said he cannot do a better thing and I have had some Inkling
given me that you might if you pleased augment that Estate by a Purchase of
equal Amount contiguous to it and as you have so much Money to spare I cant
see your Honour can do better Well said he let me have the particulars
another time and we will consider about it But my Dear added he youll
mention this to your Father if you please
I have too much Money Mr Longman continud he lies useless tho upon
this Occasion I shall not grudge laying out as much in Liveries and other
things as if I had marryd a Lady of a Fortune equal if possible to my
Pamelas Merit and I reckon you have a good deal in Hand Yes Sir said he
more than I wish I had But I have a Mortgage in View if you dont buy that
Kentish thing that I believe will answer very well and when Matters are riper
will mention it to your Honour
I took with me to Lincolnshire said my Master upwards of Six hundred
Guineas and thought to have laid most of them out there Thank God thought I
you did not for he offerd me Five hundred of them you know But I have not
laid out above Two hundred and fifty of them so Two hundred I left there in my
Escritoire because I shall go again for a Fortnight or so before Winter and
Two hundred I have brought with me And I have Money I know not what in three
Places here the Account of which is in my Pocketbook in my Library
You have made some little Presents Pamela to my Servants there on our
Nuptials and these Two hundred that I have brought up I will put into your
Disposal that with some of them you shall do here as you did there
I am ashamd good Sir said I to be so costly and so worthless Pray my
Dear said he say not a Word of that
Said Mr Longman Why Madam with Money in Stocks and one thing or
another his Honour could buy half the Gentlemen round him He wants not Money
and lays up every Year And it would have been pity but his Honour should have
wedded just as he has Very true Mr Longman said my Master and pulling out
his Purse said Tell out my Dear Two hundred Guineas and give me the rest
I did so Now said he take them yourself for the Purposes I mentioned But
Mr Longman do you before Sunset bring my dear Girl Fifty Pounds which is
due to her this Day by my Promise and every three Months from this Day pay
her Fifty Pounds more which will be Two hundred Pounds per Annum and this is
for her to lay out at her own Discretion and without Account in such a way as
shall derive a Blessing upon us all For she was my Mothers Almoner and shall
be mine and her own too Ill go for it this Instant said Mr Longman
When he was gone I looked upon my dear generous Master and on Mrs Jervis
and he gave me a Nod of Assent and I took Twenty Guineas and said Dear Mrs
Jervis accept of this which is no more than my generous Master orderd me to
present to Mrs Jewkes for a pair of Gloves on my happy Nuptials and so you
who are so much better intitled to them by the Love I bear you must not refuse
them
Said she Mrs Jewkes was on the Spot Madam at the happy Time Yes said
my Master but Pamela would have rejoiced to have had you there instead of her
That I should Sir replyd I or instead of any body except my own Mother She
gratefully accepted them and thankd us both But I dont know what she should
thank me for for I was not worth a fourth Part of them myself
Id have you my Dear said he in some handsome manner as you know how
oblige Longman to accept of the like Present
Mr Longman returnd from his Office and brought me the fifty Pounds
saying I have enterd this new Article with great Pleasure To my Lady Fifty
Pounds to be paid the same Sum quarterly O Sir said I what will become of me
to be so poor in myself and so rich in your Bounty It is a Shame to take all
that your profuse Goodness would heap upon me thus But indeed it shall not be
without Account Make no Words my Dear said he Are you not my Wife And
have I not endowd you with my Goods and hitherto this is a very small Part
Mr Longman said I and Mrs Jervis you both see how I am even oppressd
with unreturnable Obligations God bless the Donor and God bless the Receiver
said Mr Longman I am sure they will bring back good Interest for Madam you
had ever a bountiful Heart and I have seen the Pleasure you used to take to
dispense my late Ladys Alms and Donations
Ill warrant Mr Longman said I notwithstanding you are so willing to
have me take large Sums for nothing at all I should affront you if I asked you
to accept from me a Pair of Gloves only on Account of my happy Nuptials He
seemd not readily to know how to answer and my Master said If Mr Longman
refuse you my Dear he may be said to refuse your first Favour On that I put
twenty Guineas in his Hand but he insisted upon it that he would take but
Five I said I must desire you to oblige me Mr Longman or I shall think I
have affronted you Well if I must said he I know what I know What is that
Mr Longman said I Why Madam said he I will not lay it out till my young
Masters Birth Day which I hope will be within this Twelvemonth
Not expecting any thing like this from the old Gentleman I lookd at my
Master and then blushd so I could not hold up my Head Charmingly said Mr
Longman said my Master and clasped me in his Arms O my dear Life God send it
may be so You have quite delighted me Mr Longman Tho I durst not have
said such a Thing for the World Madam said the old Gentleman I beg your
Pardon I hope no Offence But Id speak it ten times in a Breath to have it so
take it how you please as long as my good Master takes it so well Mrs Jervis
said my Master this is an overnice dear Creature you dont know what a Life I
have had with her even on this side Matrimony Said Mrs Jervis I think Mr
Longman says very well I am sure I shall hope for it too
Mr Longman who had struck me of a Heap withdrawing soon after my Master
said Why My Dear you cant look up The old Man said nothing shocking I did
not expect it tho from him said I I was not aware but of some innocent
Pleasantry Why so it was said he both innocent and pleasant And I wont
forgive you if you dont say as he says Come speak before Mrs Jervis May
every thing happen Sir said I that will give you Delight Thats my dear
Love said he and kissd me with great Tenderness
When the Servants had dined I desired to see the Maidens and all Four came up
together You are welcome home Madam said Rachel We rejoice all to see you
here and more to see you our Lady O my good old Acquaintances said I you see
how good God and the best of Gentlemen have been to me O I joy to see you How
do you do Rachel How do you do Jane How do you do Hannah How do you do
Cicely And I took each of them by the Hand and could have kissed them For
said I to myself I kissed you all last time I saw you in Sorrow why should I
not kiss you all with Joy But I forbore in Honour of their dear Masters
Presence
They seemd quite transported with me and my good Master was pleasd with
the Scene See here my Lasses said he your Mistress I need not bid you
respect her for you always lovd her and shell have it as much in her Power
as Inclination to be kind to the Deserving Indeed said I I shall always be a
kind Friend to you and your dear good Master has orderd me to give each of
you this that you may rejoice with me on my Happiness And so I gave them five
Guineas apiece and said God bless you every one I am overjoyd to see you
And they withdrew with the greatest Gratitude and Pleasure praying for us both
I turnd to my dear Master Tis to you dear Sir said I next to God who
put it into your generous Heart that all my Happiness is owing That my Mind
thus overflows with Joy and Gratitude And I would have kissed his Hand but he
clasped me in his Arms and said You deserve it my Dear You deserve it all
Mrs Jervis came in said she I have seen a very affecting Sight you have made
your Maidens quite happy Madam with your Kindness and Condescension I saw
them all Four as I came by the Hall Door just got up from their Knees
praising and praying for you both Dear good Bodies said I and did Jane pray
too God return their Prayers upon themselves I say
My Master sent for Jonathan and I held up all the Fingers of my two Hands
and my Master giving a Nod of Approbation as he came in I said Well Mr
Jonathan I could not be satisfyd without seeing you in Form as it were and
thanking you for all your past Goodwill to me Youll accept of that for a Pair
of Gloves on this happy Occasion and I gave him ten Guineas and took his
honest Hand between both mine God bless you said I with your Silver Hairs so
like my dear Father I shall always value such a good old Servant of the best
of Masters He said O such Goodness Such kind Words It is Balm to my
Heart Blessed be God I have lived to this Day And his Eyes swam in Tears
and he withdrew My Dear said my Master you make every one happy O Sir
said I tis you tis you and let my grateful Heart always spring to my Lips
to acknowledge the Blessings you heap upon me
Then in came Harry and Isaac and Benjamin and the two Grooms of this
House and Arthur the Gardener for my dear Master had orderd them by Mrs
Jervis thus to be marshalld out and he said Wheres John Poor John was
ashamd and did not come in till he heard himself calld for I said to them
How do you do Henry How do you do Isaac How do you do Benjamin How do you
do Arthur And you and you Richard and Roger God bless you every one My
Master said I have given you a Mistress my Lads that is the Joy of my Heart
You see her Goodness and Condescension Let your Respects to her be but
answerable and shell be proportionably as great a Blessing to you all as she
is to me Harry said In the Names of all your Servants Sir I bless your
Honour and your good Lady And it shall be all our Studies to deserve her
Ladyships Favour as well as your Honours And so I gave every one five
Guineas to rejoice as I said in my Happiness
When I came to John I said I saw you before John but I again tell you I
am glad to see you He said he was quite ashamd and confounded O said I
forget every thing thats past John Your dear good Master will and so will
I For God has wonderfully brought about all these Things by the very Means I
once thought most grievous Let us therefore look forward and be only ashamd
to commit Faults for the Time to come For they may not always be attended with
like happy Consequences
Arthur said my Master I have brought you a Mistress that is a great
Gardener Shell shew you a new Way to plant Beans And never anybody had such a
Hand at improving a Sunflower as she O Sir Sir said I but yet a little
dashd all my Improvements in every kind of Thing are owing to you I am sure
And so I think I was even with the dear Man and yet appeard grateful before
his Servants They withdrew blessing us both as the rest had done
And then came in the Postilion and two Helpers for my Master has both
here and at Lincolnshire fine Huntinghorses and it is the chief Sport he
takes Delight in as also the Scullionboy and I said How do you all of you
And how dost do Tommy I hope youre very good Here your dear Master has
orderd you something a piece in Honour of me And my Master holding three
Fingers to me I gave the Postilion and Helpers three Guineas each and the
little Boy two and bid him let his poor Mother lay it out for him for he must
not spend it idly Mr Colbrand Abraham and Thomas I had before presented at
tother House
And when they were all gone but Mrs Jervis I said And now dearest Sir
permit me on my Knees thus to bless you and pray for you And Oh may God
crown you with Length of Days and Increase of Honour and may your happy happy
Pamela by her grateful Heart appear always worthy in your dear Eyes tho she
cannot be so in her own nor in those of any others
Mrs Jervis said my Master you see the Excellency of this sweet Creature
And when I tell you that the Charms of her Person all lovely as she is bind
me not so strongly to her as the Graces of her Mind congratulate me that my
Happiness is built on so stable a Basis Indeed I do most sincerely Sir
said she This is a happy Day to me
I stept into the Library while he was thus pouring out his Kindness for me
to Mrs Jervis and blessd God there on my Knees for the Difference I now
found to what I had once known in it And when I have done the same in the
first Scene of my Fears the once frightful Summerhouse I shall have gone
thro most of my distressful Scenes with Gratitude but shall never forbear
thanking God in my Mind for his Goodness to me in every one Mrs Jervis I
find had whisperd him what I had done above and he saw me on my Knees with
my Back towards him unknown to me but softly put to the Door again as he had
opend it a little Way And I said not knowing he had seen me You have some
charming Pictures here Sir Yes said he my dear Life so I have but none
equal to that which your Piety affords me And may the God you delight to
serve bless more and more my dear Angel Sir said I you are all Goodness I
hope replyd he after your sweet Example I shall be better and better Do
you think my dear Father and Mother there ever was so happy a Creature as I
To be sure it would be very ingrateful to think with Uneasiness or any thing
but Compassion of poor Miss Sally Godfrey
He orderd Jonathan to let the Evening be passd merrily but wisely as he
said with what every one liked whether Wine or October
He was pleased afterwards to lead me up Stairs and gave me Possession of my
Ladys Dressingroom and Cabinet and her fine Repeatingwatch and Equipage and
in short of a complete Set of Diamonds that were his good Mothers as also of
the two Pair of Diamond Earrings the two Diamond Rings and Diamond Necklace he
mentiond in his naughty Articles which her Ladyship had intended for Presents
to Miss Tomlins a rich Heiress that was proposed for his Wife when he was just
come from his Travels but which went off after all was agreed upon on both the
Friends Sides because he approvd not her Conversation and she had as he told
his Mother too masculine an Air and he never could be brought to see her but
once tho the Lady likd him very well He presented me also with her
Ladyships Books Pictures Linnen Laces etc that were in her Apartments and
bid me call those Apartments mine O give me my good God Humility and
Gratitude
Sunday Night
This Day as Matters could not be ready for our Appearance at a better Place we
staid at home and my dear Master imployd himself a good deal in his Library
And I have been taken up pretty much I hope as I ought to be in Thankfulness
Prayer and Meditation in my newly presented Closet And I hope God will be
pleasd to give a Blessing to me for I have the Pleasure to think I am not
puffed up with this great Alteration and yet am not wanting to look upon all
these Favours and Blessings in the Light wherein I ought to receive them both
at the Hands of God and my dear Benefactor
We dind together with great Pleasure and I had in every Word and Action
all the Instances of Kindness and Affection that the most indulgd Heart could
wish He said he would return to his Closet again and at Five oClock would
come and take a Walk with me in the Garden and so retird as soon as he had
dind and I went up to mine
About Six he was pleasd to come up to me and said Now my Dear I will
attend you for a little Walk in the Garden and I gave him my Hand with great
Pleasure This Garden is much better cultivated than the Lincolnshire one but
that is larger and has nobler Walks in it and yet here is a pretty Canal in
this and a Fountain and Cascade We had a deal of sweet Conversation as we
walkd and after we had taken a Turn round I bent towards the little Garden
and when I came near the Summerhouse took the Opportunity to slip from him
and just whipt up the Steps of this once frightful Place and kneeled down and
said I bless thee O God for my Escapes and for thy Mercies O let me always
possess a grateful and humble Heart And I whipt down again and joind him and
he hardly missed me
Several of the neighbouring Gentry sent their Compliments to him on his
Return but not a Word about his Marriage particularly Squire Arthur Squire
Towers Squire Brooks and Squire Martin of the Grove
Monday
I had a good deal of Employment in chusing Patterns for my new Cloaths He
thought nothing too good but I thought every thing I saw was and he was so
kind to pick out Six of the richest for me to chuse three Suits out of
saying we would furnish ourselves with more in Town when we went thither One
was a white flowerd with Gold most richly and he was pleased to say that as I
was a Bride I should make my Appearance in that the following Sunday And so we
shall have in two or three Days from several Places nothing but Mantuamakers
and Taylors at Work Bless me what a chargeable and what a worthless Hussy I
am to the dear Gentleman But his Fortune and Station require a great deal of
it and his Value for me will not let him do less than if he had marryd a
Fortune equal to his own and then as he says it would be a Reflection upon
him if he did And so I doubt it will be as it is For either way the World
will have something to say He made me also chuse some very fine Laces and
Linen and has sent a Message on purpose with his Orders to hasten all down
what can be done in Town as the Millenary Matters etc to be completed there
and sent by particular Messengers as done All to be here and finished by
Saturday Afternoon without fail
I send away John this Morning with some more of my Papers to you and with
the few he will give you separate My Desire is that you will send me all the
Papers you have done with that I may keep my Word with Lady Davers to beg the
Continuance of your Prayers and Blessings to hope you will give me your Answer
about my dear Benefactors Proposal of the Kentish Farm to beg you to buy two
Suits of Cloaths each of the finest Cloth for you my dear Father and of a
creditable Silk for my dear Mother and good Linen and every thing answerable
and that you will as my dearest Sir bid me say let us see you here as soon as
possible and he will have his Chariot come for you when you tell John the Day
Oh how I long to see you both my dear good Parents and to share with you my
Felicities
You will have I am sure the Goodness to go to all your Creditors which
are chiefly those of my poor unhappy Brothers and get an Account of all you are
bound for and every one shall be paid to the utmost Farthing and Interest
besides tho some of them have been very cruel and unrelenting But they are
all intitled to their own and shall be thankfully paid
Now I think of it John shall take my Papers down to this Place that you
may have something to amuse you of your dear Childs instead of those you part
with and I will continue writing till I am settled and you are determind and
then I shall apply myself to the Duties of the Family in order to become as
useful to my dear Benefactor as my small Abilities will let me
If you think a Couple of Guineas will be of Use to Mrs Mumford who I doubt
has not much aforehand pray give them to her from me and I will return them
to you as for a Pair of Gloves on my Nuptials And look thro your poor
Acquaintance and Neighbours and let me have a List of such honest industrious
Poor as may be true Objects of Charity and have no other Assistance
particularly such as are blind lame or sickly with their particular Cases
and also such poor Families and Housekeepers as are reduced by Misfortunes as
ours was and where a great Number of Children may keep them from rising to a
State of tolerable Comfort And I will chuse as well as I can for I long to be
making a Beginning with the kind Quarterly Benevolence my dear good Benefactor
has bestowed on me for such good Purposes
I am resolvd to keep Account of all these Matters and Mr Longman has
already furnishd me with a Vellumbook of all white Paper some Sides of which
I hope soon to fill with the Names of proper Objects And tho my dear Master
has given me all this without Account yet shall he see but nobody else how I
lay it out from Quarter to Quarter and I will if any be left carry it on
like an Accomptant to the next Quarter and strike a Ballance four times a
Year and a general Ballance at every Years End And I have written in it
Humble RETURNS for DIVINE MERCIES and lock it up safe in my newly presented
Cabinet
I intend to let Lady Davers see no further of my Papers than to her own
angry Letter to her Brother for I would not have her see my Reflections upon
it and shell know down to that Place all thats necessary for her Curiosity
as to my Sufferings and the Stratagems used against me and the honest Part God
enabled me to act And I hope when she sees them all she will be quite
reconcild for she will see it is all God Almightys Doings and that a
Gentleman of his Parts and Knowledge was not to be drawn in by such a poor young
Body as me I will detain John no longer He will tell you to read this last
Part first and while he stays And so with my humble Duty to you both and my
dear Sirs kind Remembrance I rest
Your ever dutiful and gratefully happy Daughter
Wednesday Evening
Honoured Father and Mother
I Will now proceed with my Journal
On Tuesday Morning my dear Sir rode out attended by Abraham and he
brought with him to Dinner Mr Martin of the Grove and Mr Arthur and Mr
Brooks and one Mr Chambers and he stept up to me and said he had rode out
too far to return to Breakfast but he had brought with him some of his old
Acquaintance to dine with me Are you sorry for it Pamela said he I
remembered his Lessons and said No sure Sir I cant be angry at any thing
you are pleasd to do Said he you know Mr Martins Character and have
severely censurd him in one of your Letters as one of my Brother Rakes and
for his three Lyingsin
He then gave me the following Account how he came to bring them Said he
»I met them all at Mr Arthurs and his Lady asked me if I was really marryd
I said Yes really And to who said Mr Martin Why replyd I bluntly to my
Mothers Waitingmaid They could not tell what to say to me hereupon and
lookd one upon another And I saw I had spoild a Jest from each Mrs Arthur
said You have indeed Sir a charming Creature as ever I saw and she has
mighty good Luck Ay said I and so have I But I shall say the less because a
Man never did any thing of this Nature that he did not think he ought if it
were but in Policy to make the best of it Nay said Mr Arthur if you have
sinnd it is with your Eyes open For you know the World as well as any
Gentleman of your Years in it
Why really Gentlemen said I I should be glad to please all my Friends
but I cant expect till they know my Motives and Inducements that it will be
so immediately But I do assure you I am exceedingly pleased myself and that
you know is most to the Purpose
Said Mr Brooks I have heard my Wife praise your Spouse that is so much
for Beauty and Shape that I wanted to see her of all Things Why replyd I if
youll all go and take a Dinner with me you shall see her with all my Heart
And Mrs Arthur will you bear us Company No indeed Sir said she What
Ill warrant my Wife will not be able to reconcile you to my Mothers
Waitingmaid is not that it Tell Truth Mrs Arthur Nay said she I shant
be backward to pay your Spouse a Visit in Company of the neighbouring Ladies
but for one single Woman to go on such a sudden Motion too with so many
Gentlemen is not right But that need not hinder you Gentlemen So said he
the rest sent that they should not dine at home and they and Mr Chambers a
Gentleman lately settled in these Parts one and all came with me And so my
Dear concluded he when you make your Appearance next Sunday youre sure of a
Party in your Favour for all that see you must esteem you«
He went to them and when I came down to Dinner he was pleased to take me
by the Hand at my Entrance into the Parlour and said My dear Love I have
brought some of my good Neighbours to take a Dinner with you I said You are
very good Sir My Dear this Gentleman is Mr Chambers and so he presented
every one to me and they saluted me and wishd us both Joy
Mr Brooks said I for my Part wish you Joy most heartily My Wife told me
a good deal of the Beauties of your Person but I did not think we had such a
Flower in our County Sir said I your Lady is very partial to me and you are
so polite a Gentleman that you will not contradict your good Lady
Ill assure you Madam returnd he you have not hit the Matter at all for
we contradict one another twice or thrice a Day But the Devils int if we are
not agreed in so clear a Case
Said Mr Martin Mr Brooks says very true Madam in both respects meaning
his Wifes and his own Contradiction to one another, as well as in my Favour
for added he they have been marryd some Years
As I had not the best Opinion of this Gentleman nor his Jest I said I am
almost sorry Sir for the Gentlemans Jest upon himself and his Lady but I
think it should have relievd him from a greater Jest your pleasant
Confirmation of it But still the Reason you give that it may be so I hope
is the Reason that may be given that it is not so to wit That they have been
married some Years
Said Mr Arthur Mr Martin I think the Lady has very handsomely reprovd
you I think so too said Mr Chambers and it was but a very indifferent
Compliment to a Bride Said Mr Martin Compliment or not Gentlemen I have
never seen a Matrimony of any time standing that it was not so little or much
But I dare say it will never be so here
To be sure Sir said I if it was I must be the ungratefullest Person in
the World because I am the most obliged Person in it That Notion said Mr
Arthur is so excellent that it gives a moral Certainty that it never can
Sir said Mr Brooks to my dear Sir softly You have a most accomplished
Lady I do assure you as well in her Behaviour and Wit as in her Person call
her what you please Why my dear Friend said my Master I must tell you That
her Person made me her Lover but her Mind made her my Wife
The first Course coming in my dear Sir led me himself to my Place and set
Mr Chambers as the greatest Stranger at my Righthand and Mr Brooks at my
Left and Mr Arthur was pleased to observe much to my Advantage on the Ease
and Freedom with which I behavd myself and helped them and said He would
bring his Lady to be a Witness and a Learner both of my Manner I said I
should be proud of any Honour Lady Arthur would vouchsafe to do me and if I
once could promise myself the Opportunity of his good Ladys Example and those
of the other Gentlemen present I should have the greater Opinion of my
Worthiness to sit in the Place I filld at present with much Insufficiency
Mr Arthur drank to my Health and Happiness and said my Wife told your
Spouse Madam You had very good Luck in such a Husband but I now see who has
the best of it Said Mr Brooks Come come lets make no Compliments for the
plain Truth of the Matter is our good Neighbours Generosity and Judgment have
met with so equal a Match in his Ladys Beauty and Merit that I know not which
has the best Luck But may you be both long happy together say I And so he
drank a Glass of Wine
My dear Sir who always takes Delight to have me praised seemed much
pleased with our Conversation and he said the kindest tenderest and most
respectful Things in the World to me Insomuch that the rough Mr Martin said
Did you ever think our good Friend here who used to ridicule Matrimony so much
would have made so complaisant a Husband How long do you intend Sir that this
shall hold As long as my good Girl deserves it said he and that I hope will
be for ever But continued he you need not wonder I have changed my Mind as to
Wedlock for I never expected to meet with one whose Behaviour and Sweetness of
Temper was so well adapted to make me happy
After Dinner and having drank good Healths to each of their Ladies I
withdrew and they sat and drank two Bottles of Claret apiece and were very
merry and went away full of my Praises and vowing to bring their Ladies to
see me
John having brought me your kind Letter my dear Father I told my good Master
after his Friends were gone how gratefully you received his generous Intentions
as to the Kentish Farm and promised your best Endeavours to serve him in that
Estate and that you hoped your Industry and Care would be so well employd in
it that you should be very little troublesome to him as to the liberal Manner
in which he had intended to add to a Provision that of itself exceeded all your
Wishes He was very well pleased with your chearful Acceptance of it
I am glad your Engagements in the World lie in so small a Compass As soon
as you have gotten an Account of them exactly you will be pleased to send it
me with the List of the poor Folks you are so kind to promise to procure me
I think as my dear Master is so generous you should think nothing that is
plain too good Pray dont be afraid of laying out upon yourselves My dear Sir
intends that you shall not when you come to us return to your old Abode but
stay with us till you set out for Kent and so you must dispose of yourselves
accordingly And I hope my dear Father you have quite left off all Slavish
Business As Farmer Jones has been kind to you as I have heard you say pray
when you take Leave of them present them with three Guineas worth of good
Books such as a FamilyBible a CommonPrayer a Whole Duty of Man or any
other you think will be acceptable for they live a great way from Church and
in Winter the Ways from their Farm thither are impassable
He has brought me my Papers safe And I will send them to Lady Davers the
first Opportunity down to the Place I mentioned in my last
My dear Sir just now tells me that he will carry me in the Morning a little
Airing about ten Miles off in his Chariot and Four to Breakfast at a
Farmhouse noted for a fine Dairy and where nowandthen the neighbouring
Gentry of both Sexes resort for that Purpose And he will send Abraham on
Horseback before us to let the good Folks know it
Thursday
We set out at about half an Hour after Six accordingly and driving pretty
smartly got at this truly neat House at half an Hour after Eight and found
Abraham there and I was much pleasd with the Neatness of the good Woman and
Daughter and Maid and he was so good as to say he would nowandthen take a
Turn with me to the same Place and on the same Occasion as I seemd to like
it for that it would be a pretty Exercise and procure us Appetites to our
Breakfasts as well as our Return would to our Dinners But I find this was not
tho a very good Reason the only one for which he gave me this agreeable
Airing as I shall acquaint you
We were prettily receivd and entertaind here and an Elegance ran through
every thing Persons as well as Furniture yet all plain And my Master said to
the good Housewife Do your young Boardingschool Ladies still at times continue
their Visits to you Mrs Dobson Yes Sir said she I expect three or four of
them every Minute
There is my Dear said he within three Miles of this Farm a very good
Boardingschool for Ladies The Governess of it keeps a Chaise and Pair which
is to be made a double Chaise at Pleasure and in Summertime when the Misses
perform their Tasks to Satisfaction she favours them with an Airing to this
Place three or four at a Time and after they have breakfasted they are
carried back And this serves both for a Reward and for Exercise and the
Misses who have this Favour are not a little proud of it and it brings them
forward in their respective Tasks
A very good Method Sir said I And just as we were talking the Chaise
came in with four Misses all pretty much of a Size and a Maidservant to
attend them They were shewn another little neat Apartment that went thro
ours and made their Honours very prettily as they passed by us I went into
the Room to them and asked them Questions about their Work and their Lessons
and what they had done to deserve such a fine Airing and Breakfasting and they
all answerd me very prettily And pray little Ladies said I what may I call
your Names One was called Miss Burdoff one Miss Nugent one Miss Booth and
the fourth Miss Goodwin I dont know which said I is the prettiest but you
are all best my little Dears and you have a very good Governess to indulge you
with such a fine Airing and such delicate Cream and Bread and Butter I hope
you think so too
My Master came in and I had no Mistrust in the World and he kissed each of
them but lookd more wistfully on Miss Goodwin than any of the others but I
thought nothing just then Had she been called Miss Godfrey I had hit upon it
in a trice
When we went from them he said Which do you think the prettiest of those
Misses Really Sir replyd I it is hard to say Miss Booth is a pretty brown
Girl and has a fine Eye Miss Burdoff has a great deal of Sweetness in her
Countenance but not so regularly featurd Miss Nugent is very fair And Miss
Goodwin has a fine black Eye and is besides I think the genteelest shapd
Child but they are all pretty
The Maid led them into the Garden to shew them the Beehives and Miss
Goodwin made a particular fine Curchee to my Master and I said I believe Miss
knows you Sir and taking her by the Hand I said Do you know this Gentleman
my pretty Dear Yes Madam said she It is my own dear Uncle I claspd her
in my Arms O why did you not tell me Sir said I that you had a Niece among
these little Ladies And I kissed her and away she tript after the others
But pray Sir said I How can this be You have no Sister nor Brother
but Lady Davers How can this be
He smiled and then I said O my dear Sir tell me now of a Truth Does not
this pretty Miss stand in a nearer Relation to you than as a Niece I know
she does I know she does And I embracd him as he stood
Tis even so my Dear replyd he and you remember my Sisters goodnaturd
Hint of Miss Sally Godfrey I do well Sir answerd I But this is Miss
Goodwin Her Mother chose that for her said he because she should not be
called by her own
Well said I excuse me Sir I must go and have a little Prattle with her
Ill send for her in again replyd he and in she came in a Moment I took her
in my Arms and said O my charming Dear will you love me Will you let me be
your Aunt Yes Madam answerd she with all my Heart And I will love you
dearly But I mustnt love my Uncle Why so said he Because replyd she you
would not speak to me at first And because you would not let me call you
Uncle for it seems she was bid not that I might not guess at her presently
and yet said the pretty Dear I had not seen you a great while so I hadnt
Well Pamela said he now can you allow me to love this little Innocent
Allow you Sir replyd I you would be very barbarous if you did not and I
should be more so if I did not further it all I could and love the little Lamb
myself for your sake and for her own sake and in Compassion to her poor dear
Mother tho unknown to me And Tears stood in my Eyes
Said he Why my Love are your Words so kind and your Countenance so sad
I drew to the Window from the Child and said Sad it is not Sir but I have
a strange Grief and Pleasure mingled at once in my Breast on this Occasion It
is indeed a twofold Grief and a twofold Pleasure As how my Dear said he
Why Sir said I I cannot help being grieved for the poor Mother of this sweet
Babe to think if she be living that she must call her chiefest Delight her
Shame if she be no more that she must have sad Remorses on her poor Mind when
she came to leave the World and her little Babe And in the second Place I
grieve that it must be thought a Kindness to the dear little Soul not to let
her know how near the dearest Relation she has in the World is to her Forgive
me dear Sir I say not this to reproach you in the least Indeed I dont And
I have a twofold Cause of Joy first That I have had the Grace to escape the
like Unhappiness with this poor Gentlewoman and next That this Discovery has
given me an Opportunity to shew the Sincerity of my grateful Affection for you
Sir in the Love I will always express to this dear Child
And then I stept to her again and kissed her and said Join with me my
pretty Love to beg your dear Uncle to let you come home and live with your new
Aunt Indeed my little Precious Ill love you dearly
Will you Sir said the little Charmer will you let me go and live with my
Aunt
You are very good my Pamela said he And I have not once been deceived
in the Hopes my fond Heart had entertained of your Prudence But will you
Sir said I will you grant me this Favour I shall most sincerely love the
little Charmer and all I am capable of doing for her both by Example and
Affection shall most cordially be done My dearest Sir added I oblige me in
this thing I think already my Heart is set upon it What a sweet Employment
and Companionship shall I have
Well talk of this some other Time replyd he but I must in Prudence put
some Bounds to your amiable Generosity I had always intended to surprize you
into this Discovery but my Sister led the Way to it out of a Poorness in her
Spite that I could not brook and tho you have pleased me beyond Expression
in your Behaviour on this Occasion yet I cant say that you have gone much
beyond my Expectations for I have such an high Opinion of you that I think
nothing could have shaken it but a contrary Conduct to this you have expressd
on so tender a Circumstance
Well Sir said the dear little Miss then you wont let me go home with my
Aunt will you Im sure shell love me When you break up next my Dear said
he if youre a good Girl you shall make your new Aunt a Visit She made a low
Curchee Thank you Sir said she Yes my Dear said I and Ill get you some
fine things against the Time Id have brought you some now had I known I
should have seen my pretty Love Thank you Madam returnd she
How old Sir said I is Miss Between Six and Seven answerd he Was she
ever Sir said I at your House My Sister replyd he carryd her there once
as a little Relation of her Lords I remember Sir said I a little Miss and
Mrs Jervis and I took her to be a Relation of Lord Daverss
My Sister said he knew the whole Secret from the Beginning and it made
her a great Merit with me that she kept it from the Knowledge of my Father who
was then living and of my Mother to her Dyingday tho she descended so low
in her Rage to hint the Matter to you
The little Misses took their Leaves soon after and I know not how but I am
strangely affected with this dear Child I wish he would be so good as to let me
have her home It would be a great Pleasure to have such a fine Opportunity
obligd as I am to shew my Love for himself in my Fondness for this dear Miss
As we came home together in the Chariot he gave me the following
Particulars of this Affair additional to what he had before mentiond
That this Lady was of a good Family and the Flower of it But that her
Mother was a Person of great Art and Address and not altogether so nice in the
Particular between himself and Miss as she ought to have been That
particularly when she had Reason to find him unsettled and wild and her
Daughter in more Danger from him than he was from her yet she encouraged their
Privacies and even at last when she had Reason to apprehend from their being
surprizd together in a way not so creditable to the Lady that she was far
from forbidding their private Meetings on the contrary that on a certain Time
she had set one that had formerly been her Footman and a Halfpay Officer her
Relation, to watch an Opportunity and to frighten him into a Marriage with the
Lady That accordingly when they had surprizd him in her Chamber just as he
had been let in they drew their Swords upon him and threatend instantly to
kill him if he did not promise Marriage on the Spot and that they had a Parson
ready below Stairs as he found afterwards That then he suspected from some
strong Circumstances that Miss was in the Plot which so enraged him with
their Menaces together that he drew and stood upon his Defence and was so
much in Earnest that the Man he pushd into the Arm and disabled and pressing
pretty forward upon the other as he retreated he rushed in upon him near the
Top of the Stairs and pushd him down one Pair and he was much hurt with the
Fall Not but that he said he might have paid for his Rashness but that the
Business of his Antagonists was rather to frighten than kill him That upon
this in the Sight of the old Lady the Parson she had provided and her other
Daughters he went out of their House with bitter Execrations against them all
That after this designing to break off all Correspondence with the whole
Family and Miss too she found means to engage him to give her a Meeting at
Woodstock in order to clear herself That poor Lady she there was obliged
naughty Creature as he was to make herself quite guilty of a worse Fault in
order to clear herself of a lighter That they afterwards met at Godstow often
at Woodstock and every neighbouring Place to Oxford where he was then
studying as it provd guilty Lessons instead of improving ones till at
last the Effect of their frequent Interviews grew too obvious to be concealed
That the young Lady then when she was not fit to be seen for the Credit of the
Family was confind and all manner of Means were used to induce him to marry
her That finding nothing would do they at last resolved to complain to his
Father and Mother But that he made his Sister acquainted with the Matter who
then happend to be at home and by her Management and Spirit their Intentions
of that sort were frustrated and seeing no Hopes they agreed to Lady Daverss
Proposals and sent poor Miss down to Marlborough where at her Expence which
he answerd to her again she was provided for and privately layin That Lady
Davers took upon herself the Care of the Littleone till it came to be fit to
be put to the Boardingschool where it now is and that he had settled upon the
dear little Miss such a Sum of Money as the Interest of it would handsomely
provide for her and the Principal would be a tolerable Fortune fit for a
Gentlewoman when she came to be marriageable And this my Dear said he is
the Story in brief And I do assure you Pamela added he I am far from making
a Boast of or taking a Pride in this Affair But since it has happend I
cant say but I wish the poor Child to live and be happy and I must endeavour
to make her so
Sir said I to be sure you should and I shall take a very great Pride to
contribute to the dear little Souls Felicity if you will permit me to have her
home But added I does not Miss know any thing who are her Father and
Mother I wanted him to say if the poor Lady was living or dead No
answerd he Her Governess has been told by my Sister That she is the Daughter
of a Gentleman and his Lady who are related at a Distance to Lord Davers and
now live in Jamaica and she calls me Uncle only because I am the Brother to
Lady Davers whom she calls Aunt and who is very fond of her as is also my
Lord who knows the whole Matter and they have her at all her little School
Recesses at their House and are very kind to her
I believe added he the Truth of the Matter is very little known or
suspected for as her Mother is of no mean Family her Friends endeavour to keep
it secret as much as I and Lady Davers till her Wrath boild over tother
Day has managd the Matter very dexterously and kindly
The Words Mother is of no mean Family gave me not to doubt the poor Lady
was living And I said But how Sir can the dear Misss poor Mother be content
to deny herself the Enjoyment of so sweet a Child Ay Pamela replyd he now
you come in I see you want to know whats become of the poor Mother Tis
natural enough you should but I was willing to see how the little Suspence
would operate upon you Dear Sir said I Nay replyd he tis very natural
my Dear I think you have had a great deal of Patience and are come at this
Question so fairly that you deserve to be answerd
You must know then there is some Foundation for saying That her Mother at
least lives in Jamaica for there she does live and very happily too For you
must know that she sufferd so much in Childbed that nobody expected her Life
and this when she was up made such an Impression upon her that she dreaded
nothing so much as the Thoughts of returning to her former Fault and to say the
Truth I had intended to make her a Visit as soon as her Month was well up And
so unknown to me she engaged herself to go to Jamaica with two young Ladies
who were born there but were returning to their Friends after they had been
four Years in England for their Education and recommending to me by a very
moving Letter her little Baby and that I would not suffer it to be called by
her Name but Goodwin that her Shame might be the less known for hers and her
Familys sake she got her Friends to assign her Five hundred Pounds in full of
all her Demands upon her Family and went up to London and imbarked with her
Companions at Gravesend and so sailed to Jamaica where she is since well and
happily marryd passing to her Husband for a young Widow with one Daughter
which her first Husbands Friends take care of and provide for And so you
see Pamela that in the whole Story on both sides the Truth is as much
preservd as possible
Poor Lady said I how her Story moves me I am glad she is so happy at
last And my Dear said he Are you not glad she is so far off too As to
that Sir said I I cannot be sorry to be sure as she is so happy which she
could not have been here For Sir I doubt you would have proceeded with your
Temptations if she had not gone and it shewd she was much in Earnest to be
good that she could leave her native Country leave all her Relations leave
you that she so well lovd leave her dear Baby and try a new Fortune in a new
World among quite Strangers and hazard the Seas and all to preserve herself
from further Guiltiness Indeed indeed Sir said I I bleed for what her
Distresses must be in this Life I am grieved for her poor Minds Remorse thro
her Childbed Terrors which could have so great and so worthy an Effect upon her
afterwards and I honour her Resolution and should rank such a returning dear
Lady in the Class of those who are most virtuous and doubt not God Almightys
Mercies to her and that her present Happiness is the Result of his gracious
Providence blessing her Penitence and Reformation But Sir said I Did you
not once see the poor Lady after her Lyingin
I did not believe her so much in Earnest answerd he and I went down to
Marlborough and heard she was gone from thence to Calne I went to Calne and
heard she was gone to Reading to a Relations there Thither I went and heard
she was gone to Oxford I followd and there she was but I could not come at
her Speech
She at last received a Letter from me begging a Meeting with her for I
found her Departure with the Ladies was resolved on and that she was with her
Friends only to take Leave of them and receive her agreedon Portion And she
appointed the Saturday following and that was Wednesday to give me a Meeting
at the old Place at Woodstock
Then added he I thought I was sure of her and doubted not I should spoil
her intended Voyage I set out on Thursday to Gloucester on a Party of
Pleasure and on Saturday I went to the Place appointed at Woodstock but when
I came there I found a Letter instead of my Lady and when I opend it it was
to beg my Pardon for deceiving me Expressing her Concern for her past Fault
her Affection to me and the Apprehension she had that she should be unable to
keep her good Resolves if she met me That she had set out the Thursday for her
Embarkation for that she feard nothing else could save her and had appointed
this Meeting on Saturday at the Place of her former Guilt that I might be
suitably impressd upon the Occasion and pity and allow for her and that she
might get three or four Days start of me and be quite out of my Reach She
recommended again as upon the Spot where the poor Littleone owd its Being my
Tenderness to it for her sake and that was all she had to request of me she
said but would not forget to pray for me in all her own Dangers and in every
Difficulty she was going to encounter
I wept at this moving Tale And did not this impress you much my dear Sir
said I Surely such an affecting Lesson as this on the very guilty Spot too
I admire the dear Ladys pious Contrivance must have had a great Effect upon
you One would have thought Sir it was enough to reclaim you for ever All
your naughty Purposes I make no Doubt were quite changd Why my Dear said
he I was much movd you may be sure when I came to reflect But at first I
was so assurd of being a successful Tempter and spoiling her Voyage that I
was vexed and much out of Humour but when I came to reflect as I said I was
quite overcome with this Instance of her Prudence her Penitence and her
Resolution and more admird her than I had ever done Yet I could not bear she
should so escape me neither so much overcome me as it were in an heroical
Bravery and I hastend away and got a Bill of Credit of Lord Davers upon his
Banker in London for Five hundred Pounds and set out for that Place having
called at Oxford and got what Light I could as to where I might hear of her
there
When I arrivd in Town which was not till Monday Morning I went to a Place
called Crosbysquare where the Friends of the two Ladies livd She had set
out in the Flyingcoach on Tuesday got to the two Ladies that very Night
and on Saturday had set out with them for Gravesend much about the Time I
was expecting her at Woodstock
You may suppose that I was much affected my Dear with this However I
got my Bill of Credit converted into Money and I set out with my Servant on
Monday Afternoon and reached Gravesend that Night and there I understood that
she and the two Ladies had gone on Board from the very Inn I put up at in the
Morning and the Ship waited only for the Wind which then was turning about in
its Favour
I got a Boat directly and put on Board the Ship and asked for Mrs
Godfrey But judge you my dear Pamela her Surprize and Confusion when she saw
me She had like to have fainted away I offerd any Money to put off the
Sailing till next Day but it would not be complyd with and fain would I have
got her on Shore and promised to attend her if she would go over Land to any
Part of England the Ship would touch at But she was immoveable
Every one concluded me her humble Servant and were touched at the moving
Interview the young Ladies and their Female Attendants especially With great
Difficulty upon my solemn Assurances of Honour she trusted herself with me in
one of the Cabins and there I tryd what I could to prevail upon her to quit
her Purpose But all in vain She said I had made her quite unhappy by this
Interview She had Difficulties enough upon her Mind before but now I had
imbitterd all her Voyage and given her the deepest Distress
I could prevail upon her but for one Favour and that with the greatest
Reluctance which was to accept of the Five hundred Pounds as a Present from
me and she promised at my earnest Desire to draw upon me for a greater Sum
as a Person that had her Effects in my Hands when she arrivd if she should
find it convenient for her In short this was all the Favour I could procure
for she would not promise so much as to correspond with me and was determind
on going and I believe if I would have marryd her which yet I had not in my
Head she would not have been diverted from her Purpose
But how Sir said I did you part I would have sailed with her answerd
he and been landed at the first Port in England or Ireland I cared not which
they should put in at But she was too full of Apprehensions to admit it and
the rough Fellow of a Master Captain they calld him but in my Mind I could
have thrown him overboard would not stay a Moment the Wind and Tide being
quite fair and was very urgent with me to go ashore or to go the Voyage and
being impetuous in my Temper spoilt you know my Dear by my Mother and not
used to Controul I thought it very strange that Wind and Tide or any thing
else should be preferrd to me and my Money But so it was I was forced to
go and so took Leave of the Ladies and the other Passengers wishd them a good
Voyage gave Five Guineas among the Ships Crew to be good to the Ladies and
took such a Leave as you may better imagine than I express She recommended
once more to me the dear Guest as she called her the Ladies being present
and thanked me for all these Instances of my Regard which she said would
leave a strong Impression on her Mind and at parting she threw her Arms about
my Neck and we took such a Leave as affected every one present Men as well
as Ladies
So with a truly heavy Heart I went down the Ships Side to my Boat and
stood up in it looking at her as long as I could see her and she at me with
her Handkerchief at her Eyes and then I gazd at the Ship till and after I had
landed as long as I could discern the least Appearance of it for she was under
Sail in a manner when I left her And so I returnd highly disturbd to my
Inn
I went tobed but rested not returnd to London the next Morning and set
out that Afternoon again for the Country And so much my Dear for poor Sally
Godfrey She sends I understand by all Opportunities with the Knowledge of
her Husband to learn how her Child by her first Husband does and has the
Satisfaction to know she is happily provided for And about half a Year ago
her Spouse sent a little Negro Boy of about ten Years old as a Present to
wait upon her But he was taken ill of the Smallpox and died in a Month after
he was landed
Sure Sir said I your generous Mind must have been long affected with this
melancholy Case and all its Circumstances It hung upon me indeed some time
said he but I was full of Spirits and Inconsideration I went soon after to
travel a hundred new Objects danced before my Eyes and kept Reflection from
me And you see I had five or six Years afterwards and even before that so
thoroughly lost all the Impressions you talk of that I doubted not to make my
Pamela change her Name without either Act of Parliament or Wedlock and be
Sally Godfrey the Second
O you dear naughty Gentleman said I this seems but too true But I bless
God that it is not so I bless God for your Reformation and that for your own
dear sake as well as mine
Well my Dear said he and I bless God for it too I do most sincerely
And tis my greater Pleasure because I have as I hope seen my Error so early
and that with such a Stock of Youth and Health of my Side in all Appearance I
can truly abhor my past Liberties and pity poor Sally Godfrey from the same
Motives that I admire my Pamelas Virtues and resolve by the Grace of God to
make myself as worthy of them as possible And I will hope my Dear your
Prayers for my Pardon and my Perseverance will be of no small Efficacy on this
Occasion
These agreeable Reflections on this melancholy but instructive Story
brought us in View of his own House and we alighted and took a Walk in the
Garden till Dinner was ready And now we are so busy about making ready for our
Appearance that I shall hardly have time to write till that be over
Monday Morning
Yesterday we set out attended by John Abraham Benjamin and Isaac in fine new
Liveries in the best Chariot which had been new cleand and lind and new
harnessd so that it lookd like a quite new one But I had no Arms to quarter
with my dear Spouses tho he jocularly upon my taking Notice of my Obscurity
said that he had a good mind to have the Olivebranch which would allude to
his Hopes quarterd for mine I was dressd in the Suit I mentiond of White
flowerd with Gold and a rich Headdress and the Diamond Necklace Earrings
etc I also mentiond before And my dear Sir in a fine laced silk Waistcoat
of blue Paduasoy and his Coat a pearlcolourd fine Cloth with gold Buttons
and Buttonholes and lind with white Silk and he lookd charmingly indeed I
said I was too fine and would have laid aside some of the Jewels but he said
It would be thought a Slight to me from him as his Wife and tho as I
apprehended it might be that People would talk as it was yet he had rather
they should say any thing, than that I was not put upon an equal Foot as his
Wife with any Lady he might have marryd
It seems the neighbouring Gentry had expected us and there was a great
Congregation for against my Wish we were a little of the latest so that as
we walked up the Church to his Seat we had abundance of Gazers and Whisperers
But my dear Master behavd with so intrepid an Air and was so chearful and
complaisant to me that he did Credit to his kind Choice instead of shewing as
if he was ashamd of it and as I was resolved to busy my Mind intirely with the
Duties of the Day my Intentness on that Occasion and my Thankfulness to God
for his unspeakable Mercies to me so took up my Attention that I was much less
concernd than I should otherwise have been at the Gazings and Whisperings of
the Ladies and Gentlemen as well as of the rest of the Congregation whose Eyes
were all turnd to our Seat
When the Sermon was ended we staid the longer because the Church should be
pretty empty but we found great Numbers at the Church Doors and in the Church
Porch and I had the Pleasure of hearing many Commendations as well of my
Person as my Dress and Behaviour and not one Reflection or Mark of
Disrespect Squire Martin who is single Mr Chambers Mr Arthur and Mr
Brooks with their Families were all there And the four Gentlemen came up to
us before we went into the Chariot and in a very kind and respectful manner
complimented me and my dear Sir and Mrs Arthur and Mrs Brooks were so kind
as to wish me Joy and Mrs Brooks said You sent my Spouse Madam home
tother Day quite charmd with that easy and sweet Manner which you have
convinced a thousand Persons this Day is so natural to you
You do me great Honour Madam replyd I Such a good Ladys Approbation
must make me too sensible of my Happiness My dear Master handed me into the
Chariot and stood talking with Sir Thomas Atkyns at the Door of it who was
making him abundance of Compliments and is a very ceremonious Gentleman a
little to Extremes and I believe to familiarize me to the Gazers which
concernd me a little For I was dashd to hear the Praises of the Country
People and to see how they crouded about the Chariot Several poor People
beggd my Charity and I beckond John with my Fan and said Divide in the
further ChurchPorch that Money to the Poor and let them come tomorrow
Morning to me and I will give them something more if they dont importune me
now So I gave him all the Silver I had which happend to be between twenty
and thirty Shillings and this drew away from me their clamorous Prayers for
Charity
Mr Martin came up to me on the other side of the Chariot and leand on the
Door while my Master was talking to Sir Thomas from whom he could not get
away and said By all thats good you have charmd the whole Congregation Not
a Soul but is full of your Praises My Neighbour knew better than any body
could tell him how to chuse for himself Why said he the Dean himself lookd
more upon you than his Book
O Sir said I you are very encouraging to a weak Mind I vow said he I
say no more thans Truth Id marry tomorrow if I was sure of meeting with a
Person of but one half of the Merit you have You are said he and tis not my
way to praise too much an Ornament to your Sex an Honour to your Spouse and a
Credit to Religion Every body is saying so added he for you have by your
Piety edified the whole Church
As he had done speaking the Dean himself complimented me that the
Behaviour of so sweet a Bride would be very edifying to his Congregation and
encouraging to himself Sir said I you are very kind I hope I shall not
behave unworthy of the good Instructions I shall have the Pleasure to receive
from so worthy a Divine He bowd and went on
Sir Thomas then applyd to me my Master stepping into the Chariot and
said I beg Pardon Madam for detaining your good Spouse from you But I have
been saying he is the happiest Man in the World I bowd to him but I could
have wishd him further to make me sit so in the Notice of every one which
for all I could do dashd me not a little
Mr Martin said to my Master If youll come to Church every Sunday with
your charming Lady I will never absent myself and shell give a good Example
to all the Neighbourhood O my dear Sir said I to my Master You know not how
much I am obliged to good Mr Martin He has by his kind Expressions made me
dare to look up with Pleasure and Gratitude
Said my Master My dear Love I am very much obligd as well as you to my
good Friend Mr Martin And he said to him We will constantly go to Church and
to every other Place where we can have the Pleasure of seeing Mr Martin
Mr Martin said Gad Sir you are a happy Man and I think your Ladys
Example has made you more polite and handsome too than I ever knew you before
tho we never thought you unpolite neither And so he bowd and went to his own
Chariot and as we drove away the People kindly blessed us and called us a
charming Pair As I have no other Pride I hope in repeating these things than
in the Countenance the general Approbation gives to my dear Master for his
stooping so low you will excuse me for it I know
In the Afternoon we went again to Church and a little early at my Request
but the Church was quite full and soon after even crowded so much does
Novelty the mores the Pity attract the Eyes of Mankind Squire Martin came
in after us and made up to our Seat and said If you please my dear Friend
I will take my Seat with you this Afternoon With all my Heart said my Master
I was sorry for it but was resolved my Duty should not be made second to
Bashfulness or any other Consideration and when Divine Service began I
withdrew to the further End of the Pew and left the Gentlemen in the Front and
they behavd quite suitably both of them to the Occasion I mention this the
rather because Mr Martin was not very noted for coming to Church or Attention
when there before
The Dean preached again which he was not used to do out of Compliment to
us and an excellent Sermon he made on the relative Duties of Christianity and
it took my peculiar Attention for he made many fine Observations on the
Subject Mr Martin addressd himself twice or thrice to me during the Sermon
but he saw me so wholly engrossd with hearkening to the good Preacher that he
forbore interrupting me yet I took care according to my dear Sirs Lesson
formerly to observe to him a chearful and obliging Behaviour as one of his
Friends and Intimates My Master askd him to give him his Company to Supper
and he said I am so taken with your Lady that you must not give me too much
Encouragement for I shall be always with you if you do He was pleased to say
You cannot favour us with too much of your Company and as I have left you in
the Lurch in your single State I think you will do well to oblige us as much
as you can and who knows but my Happiness may reform another Rake Who knows
said Mr Martin Why I know for I am more than half reformd already
At the Chariotdoor Mrs Arthur Mrs Brooks Mrs Chambers were brought
to me by their respective Spouses and presently the witty Lady Towers who
banterd me before as I once told you joind them and Mrs Arthur said She
wished me Joy And that all the good Ladies my Neighbours would collect
themselves together and make me a Visit This said I will be an Honour
Madam that I can never enough acknowledge It will be very kind so to
countenance a Person who will always study to deserve your Favour by the most
respectful Behaviour
Lady Towers said My dear Neighbour you want no Countenance your own Merit
is sufficient I had a slight Cold that kept me at home in the Morning but I
heard you so much talkd of and praisd that I resolved not to stay away in
the Afternoon And I join in the Joy every one gives you She turnd to my
Master and said You are a sly Thief as I always thought you Where have you
stolen this Lady And now how barbarous is it thus unawares in a manner to
bring her here upon us to mortify and eclipse us all You are very kind
Madam said he that you and all my worthy Neighbours see with my Eyes But
had I not known she had so much Excellency of Mind and Behaviour as would
strike every body in her Favour at first Sight I should not have dared to class
her with such of my worthy Neighbours as now so kindly congratulate us both
I own said she softly I was one of your Censurers but I never likd you
so well in my Life as for this Action now I see how capable your Bride is of
giving Distinction to any Condition And coming to me My dear Neighbour said
she excuse me for having but in my Thought the Remembrance that I have seen
you formerly when by your sweet Air and easy Deportment you so much surpass
us all and give Credit to your present happy Condition
Dear good Madam said I how shall I suitably return my Acknowledgments But
it will never be a Pain to me to look back upon my former Days now I have the
kind Allowance and Example of so many worthy Ladies to support me in the Honours
to which the most generous of Men has raised me
Sweetly said she was pleased to say If I was in another Place I would
kiss you for that Answer Oh happy happy Mr B said she to my Master what
Reputation have you not brought upon your Judgment I wont be long before I
see you added she Ill assure you if I come by myself That shall be your own
Fault Madam said Mrs Brooks if you do
And so they took Leave and I gave my Hand to my dear Sir and said How
happy have you made me generous Sir And the Dean who was just come up
heard me and said And how happy you have made your Spouse Ill venture to
pronounce is hard to say from what I observe of you both I curtsyd and
blushd not thinking any body heard me And my Master telling him he should be
glad of the Honour of a Visit from him he said He would pay his Respects to
us the first Opportunity and would bring his Wife and Daughter to attend me I
said That was doubly kind and I should be very proud of cultivating so worthy
an Acquaintance I thanked him for his fine Discourse and he thanked me for my
Attention to it which he called Exemplary And so my dear Sir handed me into
the Chariot and we were carried home both happy and both pleased thank God
Mr Martin came in the Evening with another Gentleman his Friend one Mr
Dormer and he entertained us with the favourable Opinion he said every one
had of me and of the Choice my good Benefactor had made
This Morning the Poor came according to my Invitation and I sent them away
with glad Hearts to the Number of Twentyfive They were not above Twelve or
Fourteen on Sunday that John divided the Silver I gave among them but others
got hold of the Matter and made up to the above Number
Tuesday
My generous Master has given me this Morning a most considerate but yet from
the Nature of it melancholy Instance of his great Regard for my Unworthiness
which I never could have wished hoped for or even thought of
He took a Walk with me after Breakfast into the Garden and a little
Shower falling he led me for Shelter into the little Summerhouse in the
private Garden where he formerly gave me Apprehensions and sitting down by me
he said I have now finishd all that lies on my Mind my Dear and am very
easy For have you not wonderd that I have so much employd myself in my
Library Been so much at home and yet not in your Company No Sir said I
I have never been so impertinent as to wonder at any thing you please to employ
yourself about nor would give way to a Curiosity that should be troublesome to
you And besides I know your large Possessions and the Method you take of
looking yourself into your Affairs must needs take up some Portions of your
Time that I ought to be very careful how I invade
Well said he but Ill tell you what has been my last Work I have taken it
into my Consideration that at present my Line is almost extinct and a great
Part of my Estate in case I die without Issue will go to another Line and
other Parts of my personal Estate will go into such Hands as I should not care
my Pamela should lie at their Mercy I have therefore as human Life is
uncertain made such a Disposition of my Affairs as will make you absolutely
independent and happy as will secure to you the Power of doing a great deal of
Good and living as a Person ought to do who is my Relict and shall put it out
of any bodys Power to molest your Father and Mother in the Provision I design
them for the Remainder of their Days And I have finishd all this very
Morning except to naming Trustees for you and if you have any body you would
confide in more than another I would have you speak
I was so touchd with this mournful Instance of his excessive Goodness to
me and the Thoughts necessarily flowing from the solemn Occasion that I was
unable to speak and at last relievd my Mind by a violent Fit of weeping and
could only say clasping my Arms around the dear generous Gentleman How shall I
support this So very cruel yet so very kind
Dont my Dear said he be concernd at what gives me Pleasure I am not
the nearer my End for having made this Disposition but I think the putting off
these material Points when so many Accidents every Day happen and Life is so
precarious is one of the most inexcusable Things in the World And there are so
many important Points to be thought of when Life is drawing to its utmost
Verge and the Mind may be so agitated and unfit that it is a most sad thing to
put off to that Time any of those Concerns which more especially require a
considerate and composed Frame of Temper and perfect Health and Vigor to
manage My poor Friend Mr Carlton who died in my Arms so lately and had a
Mind disturbd by worldly Considerations on one side a Weakness of Body thro
his Distempers Violence on another and the Concerns of still as much more
Moment as the Soul is to the Body on a third made so great an Impression upon
me then that I was the more impatient to come to this House where were most of
my Writings in order to make the Disposition I have now perfected And since it
is grievous to my dear Girl I will think myself of such Trustees as shall be
most for her Benefit I have only therefore to assure you my Dear that in this
Instance as I will do in every other I can think of I have studied to make you
quite easy free and independent And because I shall avoid all Occasions for
the future which may discompose you I have but one Request to make which is
That if it please God for my Sins to separate me from my dearest Pamela that
you will only resolve not to marry one Person for I would not be such an Herod
as to restrict you from a Change of Condition with any other however
reluctantly I may think of any other Person succeeding me in your Esteem
I could not answer and thought my Heart would have burst And he continued
To conclude at once a Subject that is so grievous to you I will tell you my
Pamela that this Person is Mr Williams And now I will acquaint you with my
Motive for this Request which is wholly owing to my Niceness and to no Dislike
I have for him or Apprehension of any Likelihood that it will be so But
methinks it would reflect a little upon my Pamela if she was to give way to
such a Conduct as if she had marryd a Man for his Estate when she had rather
have had another had it not been for that and that now the World will say
she is at Liberty to pursue her Inclination the Parson is the Man And I
cannot bear even the most distant Apprehension that I had not the Preference
with you of any Man living let me have been what I would as I have shewn my
dear Life that I have preferrd her to all her Sex of whatever Degree
I could not speak might I have had the World and he took me in his Arms
and said I have now spoken all my Mind and expect no Answer and I see you too
much movd to give me one Only forgive me the Mention as I have told you my
Motive which as much affects your Reputation as my Niceness and offer not at
an Answer only say You forgive me And I hope I have not one discomposing
thing to say to my Dearest for the rest of my Life which I pray God for both
our sakes to lengthen for many happy Years
Grief still choaked up the Passage of my Words and he said The Shower is
over my Dear let us walk out again He led me by the Hand and I would have
spoke but he said I will not hear my dear Creature say any thing: To hearken
to your Assurance of complying with my Request would look as if I doubted you
and wanted it I am confident I needed only to speak my Mind to be observed by
you and I shall never more think of the Subject if you dont remind me of it
He then most sweetly changd the Discourse
Dont you with Pleasure my Dear said he take in the delightful Fragrance
that this sweet Shower has given to these Banks of Flowers Your Presence is so
enlivening to me that I could almost fansy that what we owe to the Shower is
owing to That And all Nature methinks blooms around me when I have my Pamela
by my Side You are a Poetess my Dear and I will give you a few Lines that I
made myself on such an Occasion as this I am speaking of the Presence of a
sweet Companion and the fresh Verdure that after a Shower succeeding a long
Draught shewd itself throughout all vegetable Nature And then in a sweet and
easy Accent with his dear Arms about me as we walkd he sung me the following
Verses of which he afterwards favourd me with a Copy
I
All Nature blooms when you appear
The Fields their richest Livries wear
Oaks Elms and Pines blest with your View
Shoot out fresh Greens and bud anew
The varying Seasons you supply
And when youre gone they fade and die
II
Sweet Philomel in mournful Strains
To you appeals to you complains
The towring Lark on rising Wing
Warbles to you your Praise does sing
He cuts the yielding Air and flies
To Heavn to type your future Joys
III
The purple Violet damask Rose
Each to delight your Senses blows
The Lilies ope as you appear
And all the Beauties of the Year
Diffuse their Odors at your Feet
Who give to evry Flowr its Sweet
IV
For Flowrs and Women are allyd
Both Natures Glory and her Pride
Of evry fragrant Sweet possest
They bloom but for the Fair Ones Breast
And to the swelling Bosom born
Each other mutually adorn
Thus sweetly did he palliate the Woes which the Generosity of his Actions
mixd with the Solemness of the Occasion and the strange Request he had
vouchsafed to make me had occasiond And all he would permit me to say was
That I was not displeased with him Displeased with you dearest Sir said I
Let me thus testify my Obligations and the Force all your Commands shall have
upon me And I took the Liberty to clasp my Arms about his Neck and kissed him
But yet my Mind was pained at times and has been to this Hour God grant
that I may never see the dreadful Moment that shall shut up the precious Life
of this excellently generous Benefactor of mine And but I cannot bear to
suppose I cannot say more on such a deep Subject
Oh what a poor thing is human Life in its best Enjoyments subjected to
imaginary Evils when it has no real ones to disturb it and that can be made as
effectually unhappy by its Apprehensions of remote Contingencies as if it was
struggling with the Pangs of a present Distress This duly reflected upon
methinks should convince every one that this World is not a Place for the
immortal Mind to be confined to and that there must be an Hereafter where the
whole Soul shall be satisfyd
But I shall get out of my Depth my shallow Mind cannot comprehend as it
ought these weighty Subjects Let me therefore only pray that after having
made a grateful Use of Gods Mercies here I may with my dear Benefactor
rejoice in that happy State where is no Mixture no Unsatisfiedness and where
all is Joy and Peace and Love for evermore
I said when we sat at Supper The charming Taste you gave me Sir of your
poetical Fancy makes me sure you have more Favours of this Kind to delight me
with if you please and may I beg to be indulged on this agreeable Head
Hitherto said he my Life has been too much a Life of Gaiety and Action to be
busyd so innocently Some little Essays I have nowandthen attempted but very
few have I completed Indeed I had not Patience nor Attention enough to hold me
long to any one thing Nowandthen perhaps I may occasionally shew you what I
have attempted But I never could please myself in this way
Friday
We were Yesterday favourd with the Company of almost all the neighbouring
Gentry and their good Ladies who by Appointment with one another, met to
congratulate our Happiness Nothing could be more obliging more free and
affectionate than the Ladies nothing more polite than the Gentlemen All was
performd for they came to Supper with Decency and Order and much to every
ones Satisfaction which was principally owing to good Mrs Jerviss Care and
Skill who is an excellent Manager
For my part I was dressd out only to be admird as it seems and truly
if I had not known that I did not make myself as you my dear Father once
hinted to me and if I had had the Vanity to think as well of myself as the
good Company was pleased to do I might possibly have been proud But I know as
my Lady Davers said tho in Anger yet in Truth that I am but a poor Bit of
painted Dirt All that I value myself upon is that God has raised me to a
Condition to be useful in my Generation to better Persons than myself This is
my Pride And I hope this will be all my Pride For what was I of myself All
the Good I can do is but a poor thirdhand Good for my dearest Master himself
is but the Secondhand GOD the Allgracious the Allgood the Allbountiful
the Allmighty the Allmerciful GOD is the First To HIM therefore be all
the Glory
As I expect the Happiness the unspeakable Happiness my everdear and
everhonourd Father and Mother of enjoying you both here under this Roof so
soon and pray let it be as soon as you can I will not enter into the
Particulars of the last agreeable Evening For I shall have a thousand things
as well as that to talk to you upon I fear you will be tird with my Prattle
when I see you
I am to return these Visits singly and there were Eight Ladies here of
different Families Dear Heart I shall find enough to do I doubt my Time
will not be so well filled up as I once promised my dear Sir But he is
pleasd chearful kind affectionate O what a happy Creature am I May I be
always thankful to GOD and grateful to him When all these tumultuous
Visitings are over I shall have my Mind I hope subside into a Family Calm
that I may make myself a little useful to the Houshold of my dear Master or
else I shall be an unprofitable Servant indeed
Lady Davers sent this Morning her Compliments to us both very
affectionately and her Lords good Wishes and Congratulations And she desird
my Writings per Bearer and says she will herself bring them to me again with
Thanks as soon as she has read them and she and her Lord will come and be my
Guests that was her particularly kind Word for a Fortnight
I have now but one thing to wish for and then methinks I shall be all
Ecstasy and that is Your Presence both of you and your Blessings which I
hope you will bestow upon me every Morning and Night till you are settled in
the happy manner my dear Spouse has intended
Methinks I want sadly your List of the honest and worthy Poor for the Money
lies by me and brings me no Interest You see I am become a mere Usurer and
want to make Use upon Use And yet when I have done all I cannot do so much as
I ought God forgive my Imperfections
I tell my dear Sir I want another Dairyhouse Visit To be sure if he
wont at present permit it I shall if it please God to spare us tieze him
like any overindulged Wife if as the dear Charmer grows older he wont let
me have the Pleasure of forming her tender Mind as well as I am able lest
poor little Soul she fall into such Snares as her unhappy dear Mother fell
into I am providing a Power of pretty Things for her against I see her next
that I may make her love me if I can
Just now I have the blessed News that you will set out for this happy House
on Tuesday Morning The Chariot shall be with you without fail God give us a
happy Meeting O how I long for it Forgive your impatient Daughter who sends
this to amuse you on your Journey and desires to be
Ever most dutifully Yours
Here end the Letters of the incomparable PAMELA to her Father and Mother For
as they arrivd at their Daughters House on Tuesday Evening in the following
Week she had no Occasion to continue her Journal longer
The good old Couple were receivd by her with the utmost Joy and Duty and
with great Goodness and Complaisance by her generous Spouse And having resided
there till every thing was put in Order for them at the Kentish Estate they
were carried down thither by the Squire himself and their Daughter and put
into Possession of the pretty Farm he had designed for them In which they long
livd comfortably doing Good by their Examples and their judicious Charities
to all about them
They constantly twice in every Year for a Fortnight together so long as
they livd visited their dear Daughter and once a Year at least for a Week
at a time were visited by them again And the Squire having added by new
Purchases to that Estate they by their Diligence augmented the Value of it
and deserved of him the Kindness he shewd them
As for the excellent PAMELA she enjoyd for many Years the Reward of her
Virtue Piety and Charity exceedingly beloved by both Sexes and by all
Degrees and was lookd upon as the Mirror of her Age and Sex
She made her beloved Spouse happy in a numerous and hopeful Progeny And he
made her the best and fondest of Husbands and after her Example became
remarkable for Piety Virtue and all the Social Duties of a Man and a
Christian And they charmd every one within the Circle of their Acquaintance
by the Sweetness of their Manners the regular Order and Oeconomy of their
Houshold by their chearful Hospitality and a diffusive Charity to all worthy
Objects within the Compass of their Knowledge
She was regularly visited by the principal Ladies in the Neighbourhood who
were fond of her Acquaintance and betterd by her Example
Lady Davers became one of her sincerest and most affectionate Admirers And
her Lord in a manner doated upon her
The poor little Miss Goodwin was after a while given up to her Wishes and
Importunities in order to be formd by her Example and in Process of Time
was joined in Marriage with a Gentleman of Merit and Fortune to whom she made
an excellent Wife
Having thus brought this little History to a happy Period the Reader will
indulge us in a few brief Observations which naturally result from it and
which will serve as so many Applications of its most material Incidents to the
Minds of the Youth of both Sexes
First then in the Character of the GENTLEMAN may be seen that of a
fashionable Libertine who allowd himself in the free Indulgence of his
Passions especially as to the Fair Sex and found himself supported in his
daring Attempts by an affluent Fortune in Possession a personal Bravery as it
is called readier to give than take Offence and an imperious Will yet as he
betimes sees his Errors and reforms in the Bloom of Youth an edifying Lesson
may be drawn from it for the Use of such as are born to large Fortunes and who
may be taught by his Example the inexpressible Difference between the Hazards
and Remorse which attend a profligate Course of Life and the Pleasures which
flow from virtuous Love and virtuous Actions
The Generosity of his Mind his Sobriety as to Wine and Hours his prudent
Oeconomy and Hospitality the Purity and Constancy of his Affection after his
Change his polite Behaviour to his Pamela his generous Provision for her in
case he had died his Bounty to her Parents attended with such Marks of
Prudence as made them useful to himself as well as renderd them happy and
shewd he was not acted merely by a blind and partial Passion are so many
Instances worthy of being rememberd in his Favour and of being imitated in
Degree by all such as are cricumstanced as he was
In the Character of Lady DAVERS let the Proud and the Highborn see the
Deformity of unreasonable Passion and how weak and ridiculous such Persons must
appear who suffer themselves as is usually the Case to be hurried from one
Extreme to another from the Height of Violence to the most abject Submission
and subject themselves to be outdone by the humble Virtue they so much despise
Let good CLERGYMEN in Mr WILLIAMS see that whatever Displeasure the doing of
their Duty may give for a Time to their proud Patrons Providence will at
last reward their Piety and turn their Distresses to Triumph and make them
even more valued for a Conduct that gave Offence while the Violence of Passion
lasted than if they had meanly stoopd to flatter or sooth the Vices of the
Great
In the Examples of good old ANDREWS and his WIFE let those who are reduced to
a low Estate see that Providence never fails to reward their Honesty and
Integrity and that God will in his own good Time extricate them by means
unforeseen out of their present Difficulties and reward them with Benefits
unhopdfor
The UPPER SERVANTS of great Families may from the odious Character of Mrs
Jewkes and the amiable ones of Mrs Jervis Mr Longman etc learn what to
avoid and what to chuse to make themselves valued and esteemd by all who know
them
And from the double Conduct of poor John the LOWER SERVANTS may learn
Fidelity and how to distinguish between the lawful and unlawful Commands of a
Superior
The poor deluded Female who like the once unhappy Miss GODFREY has given up
her Honour and yielded to the Allurements of her designing Lover may learn
from her Story to stop at the first Fault and by resolving to repent and
amend see the Pardon and Blessing which await her Penitence and a kind
Providence ready to extend the Arms of its Mercy to receive and reward her
returning Duty While the abandond Prostitute pursuing the wicked Courses
into which perhaps she was at first inadvertently drawn hurries herself into
filthy Diseases and an untimely Death and too probably into everlasting
Perdition afterwards
Let the desponding Heart be comforted by the happy Issue which the Troubles and
Trials of the lovely PAMELA met with when they see in her Case that no Danger
nor Distress however inevitable or deep to their Apprehensions can be out of
the Power of Providence to obviate or relieve and which as in various
Instances in her Story can turn the most seemingly grievous Things to its own
Glory and the Reward of suffering Innocence and that too at a Time when all
human Prospects seem to fail
Let the Rich and those who are exalted from a low to a high Estate learn from
her that they are not promoted only for a single Good but that Providence has
raised them that they should dispense to all within their Reach the Blessings
it has heaped upon them and that the greater the Power is to which GOD has
raised them the greater is the Good that will be expected from them
From the low Opinion she everywhere shews of herself and her attributing all
her Excellencies to her pious Education and her Ladys virtuous Instructions
and Bounty let Persons even of Genius and Piety learn not to arrogate to
themselves those Gifts and Graces which they owe least of all to themselves
Since the Beauties of Person are frail and it is not in our Power to give them
to ourselves or to be either prudent wise or good without the Assistance of
Divine Grace
From the same good Example let Children see what a Blessing awaits their Duty
to their Parents tho ever so low in the World And that the only Disgrace is
to be dishonest but none at all to be poor
From the Oeconomy she purposes to observe in her Elevation let even Ladies of
Condition learn that there are Family Employments in which they may and ought
to make themselves useful and give good Examples to their Inferiors as well
as Equals And that their Duty to God Charity to the Poor and Sick and the
different Branches of Houshold Management ought to take up the most
considerable Portions of their Time
From her signal Veracity which she never forfeited in all the Hardships she
was tryd with tho her Answers as she had Reason to apprehend would often
make against her and the Innocence she preserved throughout all her Stratagems
and Contrivances to save herself from Violation Persons even sorely tempted
may learn to preserve a sacred Regard to Truth which always begets a Reverence
for them even in the corruptest Minds
In short
Her obliging Behaviour to her Equals before her Exaltation her Kindness to
them afterwards her forgiving Spirit and her Generosity
Her Meekness in every Circumstance where her Virtue was not concernd
Her charitable Allowances for others as in the Case of Miss Godfrey for
Faults she would not have forgiven in herself
Her Kindness and Prudence to the Offspring of that melancholy Adventure
Her Maiden and Bridal Purity which extended as well to her Thoughts as to
her Words and Actions
Her signal Affiance in God
Her thankful Spirit
Her grateful Heart
Her diffusive Charity to the Poor which made her blessed by them whenever
she appeard abroad
The chearful Ease and Freedom of her Deportment
Her Parental Conjugal and Maternal Duty
Her Social Virtues
Are all so many signal Instances of the Excellency of her Mind which may make
her Character worthy of the Imitation of her Sex from low to high Life And the
Editor of these Sheets will have his End if it inspires a laudable Emulation in
the Minds of any worthy Persons who may thereby intitle themselves to the
Rewards the Praises and the Blessings by which she was so deservedly
distinguished
Notes
1 See pp 9394 her Alterations are in a different Character
2 The Lord is only my Support
And he that doth me feed
How can I then lack any thing,
Whereof I stand in need
In Pastures green he feedeth me
Where I do safely lie
And after leads me to the Streams
Which run most pleasantly
And when I find myself near lost
Then home he doth me take
Conducting me in his right Path
Een for his own Names sake
And tho I were een at Deaths Door
Yet would I fear no Ill
For both thy Rod and Shepherds Crook
Afford me Comfort still
Thou hast my Table richly spread
In Presence of my Foe
Thou hast my Head with Balm refreshd
My Cup doth overflow
And finally while Breath doth last
Thy Grace shall me defend
And in the House of God will I
My Life for ever spend
3 O All ye Nations of the World
Praise ye the Lord always
And all ye People evrywhere
Set forth his noble Praise
For great his Kindness is to us
His Truth doth not decay
Wherefore praise ye the Lord our God
Praise ye the Lord alway